Parents Navigating the Teen Years: Recent Episodes
Ed Gerety
Hosted by Ed Gerety, Top Motivational Speaker/Author, CSP ~ An authentic conversation about the toughest issues facing teenagers today and what we can do as parents to help them navigate these challenging waters. Featuring award-winning educators, authors, and special guests that provide expert advice, real solutions, and inspiration so together we can help our teens succeed in school and in life.
Nearly two-thirds of today’s teens want to become entrepreneurs according to a 2022 survey. But how do parents raise their children so they have the right traits to succeed? Many parents resist letting their children figure out their own path for fear that they won’t succeed. However, only doing what their parents think will make them successful will result in young people becoming dispirited and unhappy.
The So-What: Parenting expert Margot Machol Bisnow interviewed 70 entrepreneurs and their parents to learn what’s needed to incubate an entrepreneur successfully. A recurring theme was letting their children take the lead in their own life and then providing steadfast support. Parents need to lead by following, regardless of where their child wants to go. Children who are allowed to figure out their own passion, and then are encouraged in that passion, live lives filled with joy and purpose.
Margot Machol Bisnow spent 20 years in government, including as an FTC Commissioner and staff director of the President’s Council of Economic Advisers. For the last 10 years, she has spoken to parent groups about raising creative, confident, resilient children who achieve their dreams. She served as an Advisor to EQ Generation, an after-school program in New York City that gives children the skills to succeed; on the Advisory Board of the MUSE School in Malibu, that prepares young people to live consciously through passion-based learning; and on the Board of Spark the Journey in Washington DC, that mentors low-income high school students to achieve college and career success. Her new book is Raising an Entrepreneur: How to Help Your Children Achieve Their Dreams – 99 Stories from Families Who Did. Learn more at raisinganentrepreneur.com.
- Why is it important to let children choose their passion and work really hard at it? And why should parents support that passion, regardless of what it is?
- Why is it important to let children compete if you want a child with grit?
- What should you teach children about losing if you want a child who isn’t afraid to take risks? And why is that important?
- Why is it important to encourage children to be curious and think of new ways to solve problems?
- Why does raising kind, compassionate children enable them to find solutions the world needs? And how does that make them more successful?
- Are grades and test-taking ability key to entrepreneurial success? If not, why not?
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Guest Website: https://raisinganentrepreneur.com/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/raisinganentrepreneur1/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/margotbisnow/
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/margot-machol-bisnow-a29550b5/
Dana Kay is a Board-Certified Holistic Health and Nutrition Practitioner, specializing in the natural treatment of ADHD. She is a two times international bestselling author and CEO / founder of ADHD Thrive Institute and The ADHD Thrive Method 4 Kids program.
As a mother of a child with ADHD, she knows firsthand the struggles that come with parenting a neurodiverse child. When her son was struggling with his ADHD symptoms, she tried everything she could think of to help him - medication, various therapies, counseling, essential oils, supplements, parenting techniques - but nothing moved the needle. For years, she felt trapped in her own home.
That all changed when she learned how to reduce the inflammation in her son’s body, which in turn reduced his ADHD symptoms completely.
Dana knows the freedom that is possible once parents learn to reduce ADHD symptoms. Using food and targeted supplementation, she was able to reduce her son’s ADHD symptoms so much so that he no longer needed any medication. Since then, she has worked with close to one thousand other families, helping them find the same freedom she found.
Dana has been featured in Forbes and on Fox and CBS, and various other online media. She has also been a guest at multiple parenting and ADHD summits and podcasts. Her mission is to help families reduce ADHD symptoms naturally so that children with ADHD can thrive at home, at school, and in life.
- Can you tell us a little bit about why you began working in the holistic health and nutrition industry?
- What were some of the challenges you were facing with your son with ADHD?
- What ADHD interventions did you try, and how did they each go?
- You have mentioned that there was one huge turning point in your journey with your son. Can you share that with us? (referring to when the doctor requested that 4th medication)
- What happened next…once you realized that medication was not the right path for your family?
- What happened in your family once you changed your diet? Did you notice any changes in your son?
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Podcast: https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/the-soaring-child-podcast-thriving-with-adhd
Social
- Website: https://adhdthriveinstitute.com
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/adhdthriveinstitute
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adhdthriveinstitute
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ADHDThriveInstitute
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/74302454
- Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/adhdthriveinstitute
- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adhd_thriveinstitute
Media
- Publications: https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/publications
Dr. Stoltzfus’ mission is to provide information, education, guidance, and resources to parents of young adults struggling to launch their young adults into self-sufficient and responsible adulthood while maintaining a caring bond with them. More today than ever, parents of young adults are trying to determine the best approach to aiding their young adults in their challenges of identity, independence, and intimacy without contributing to their dependency or alienation.
Over fifty percent of 18-29-year-olds live with one or both parents; some of these kids are stuck and not moving toward independence. Another group of young people has left home, but 1 out of 4 have cut off communication with their parents for, on average, four months; some will never reconnect. Both of these situations represent failures to launch. When there is a failure to launch, parents and young adults suffer.
How can parents navigate the letting go process of the teenage years in order to prepare the teen for greater independence and responsible adulthood? Moving from control and direction to influence, coaching, collaborating, and consulting. Moving closer not to control but to support the key developmental tasks of adolescence- identity, independence, and intimacy. The importance of demonstrating backbone with love or “tough love.”
- What can parents do to successfully let go and launch their young adult?
- When is it time for young adults to leave home?
- The six practices that are important to set up a successful launch into adulthood.
- Balancing support and letting go with setting limits and saying no.
- What are basic truths about parents and their adult children?
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Book: Jack’s latest book was published in September of this year and is available on Amazon: The Parent’s launch Code: Loving and Letting Go of Our Adult Children.
- Website: parentslettinggo.com
Michael Huber pursued a career in sports psychology after almost 20 years in the corporate world. He was inspired to make this change through recovery from a gambling addiction, as well as by the dysfunctional things he witnessed as a sports parent and volunteer coach. His mission is to give young athletes and their families the tools to successfully navigate an increasingly challenging and sometimes toxic youth sports environment.
- What helps motivate young athletes?
- How to help young athletes advocate for themselves with coaches and players.
- Perfectionism mindset – how to keep it in balance.
- Dealing with injuries and how it can inspire a young athlete.
- College application for a student athlete.
- How to know if your student-athlete needs a sports psychology coach.
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Website: https://michaelvhuber.com/
Kristal DeSantis is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, a Clinically Certified Trauma Professional, and a State of Texas approved Premarital Education Provider. She is the creator of The STRONG model of Relational Therapy. Her expertise helps parents, teachers, and coaches navigate the challenges of teaching teens healthy relationship skills.
- The importance of parents modeling healthy relationship skills.
- The pillars of healthy relationships are.
- Safety in a relationship includes self awareness, stability, self-regulation, and self-expression.
- Trust: sometimes trust means making repairs in the relationship.
- Respect: make sure you’re communicating your boundaries.
- Openness: the importance of being open and sharing.
- Nurturing: especially important for fathers to be involved in a nurturing way.
- Generosity: when you love someone you go the extra mile for them.
- Privacy and secrecy: there’s a difference.
- Helping teens navigate relationships, especially around consent, boundaries, and respect.
- How attachment and trauma affect relationships and what parents can do to break the cycle.
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Website: https://www.strong.love/
Understanding the impact of our early experiences and how we adapted allows us to better understand ourselves as people and as parents. The influence of our early attachments on how we learned to relate should not be underestimated; it can offer us valuable insight into how we may behave as a parent. Yet in all cases, no matter what our attachment style is, being a good parent starts with exploring our own story and being willing to look at any pain we experienced growing up.
We can develop ourselves and develop healthier relationships, which will allow our children to have a healthier and more secure attachment with us. In order to make that happen, we have to be open and focus on our own emotional growth and self-development.
As a child, Bev lived in a very unpredictable and chaotic environment where she never knew if she could rely on her parents to meet her emotional needs. This led her to absorb unhealthy relationship ideas based on what she was witnessing: she believed relationships were supposed to be unbalanced, uncertain, and overall chaotic. If you have an insecure attachment style, you probably relate to her experience, and navigating relationships can be particularly difficult for you.
Prior to becoming a Certified Attachment Practitioner and founding Securely Loved, Bev was an Executive Leader, University Lecturer and published author, having obtained her Masters' Degree in 2006. She has dedicated her entire career (25+ years) working with adults in the realm of personal growth and professional development.
- Defining the traits of secure vs. insecure attachment.
- The first 5 years of a child’s life creates their future attachment style.
- Intergenerational trauma can be repeated in raising kids if the parent doesn’t heal their own wounds.
- Understanding how our attachment style affects our emotional + thought patterns, communication style, relationship to boundaries, coping mechanisms, and ability to emotionally regulate.
- Using attachment theory to navigate conflict with your teen.
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Website: https://securelyloved.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/securely_loved
- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@securely_loved
- Free attachment style quiz: https://securelyloved.com/attachment-quiz
Jessica Speer is the award-winning author of BFF or NRF (Not Really Friends)? A Girls Guide to Happy Friendships and Middle School - Safety Goggles Advised. Her interactive books engage and entertain readers by combining the stories of preteens and teens with fun activities and practical insights. She has a master’s degree in social sciences and explores social-emotional topics in ways that connect with kids.
- Why are friendship and social struggles common in the preteen and teen years?
- The book shares nine hidden friendship truths. What are some of these truths?
- What is the Friendship Pyramid, and why is it useful?
- The book explores the difference between conflict and bullying and ways to respond to each.
- The book has interactive components, like quizzes and fill-in-the-blanks. Why is that important?
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Website: https://jessicaspeer.com/
In this episode we’ll explore the dichotomy between challenge and change in our lives as our kids grow, seek independence and control, and what that means for us as parents and as individuals.
Jay Ramsden, the enlightening voice behind The Empty Nest Coach on TikTok and Instagram, helps people navigate the uncharted seas of mid-life and empty nesting as he thoughtfully unravels the threads of change, growth, and self-discovery in what has become your new normal. Jay believes there are endless opportunities awaiting us in this new phase of life because life doesn't end in your 40s, 50s, and beyond -- it begins again.
- Letting go and moving on
- Having trust that we’ve set them up for success
- What does letting go look like in our conversations with our kids?
- How to find balance in our relationships as they gain their independence
- Answering the questions; what now and what’s next as parents decide their next chapter
- Examining the challenge of change as our kids grow
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Website: https://www.jasonramsden.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.emptynest.coach/
- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@the.emptynest.coach
- This Empty Nest Life Podcast - https://www.thisemptynestlife.com/
Matt O’Neill teaches us that happiness is a choice, even when life gets tough. His work has positively impacted the lives of over 100,000 people worldwide.
As a recognized leader in happiness education, Matt teaches audiences how to live a life of 'Conscious Happiness'. His work includes the "Good Mood Revolution" book and podcast where he explains the importance of conquering negative thought patterns while embracing habits that lead to a happier life.
Matt's teaching isn't just theory, it's tested in the real world too. Matt and his wife have 4 young children, and they run two successful businesses with $8 Million in revenues and over 80 employees. Living by the happiness principles he teaches, his company is recognized as the #1 company to work for in South Carolina.
Matt's unique approach to choosing good moods, even in the face of adversity, resonates deeply with each of us. Invite Matt to share his journey and practical strategies on your audience, and help your listeners unlock their potential for lasting happiness.
- How can parents model happiness is a choice for their teens?
- What strategies help break teens' habits of negative emotions?
- How do you view the relationship between teenage mental health and happiness?
- Can embracing negative emotions be a teaching moment for parents?
- What practical habits can families adopt for collective happiness?
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@goodmoodmatt
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/goodmoodmatt/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/goodmoodmatt/
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/matt-o-neill-02528057/
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@goodmoodmatt
- Good Mood Revolution (Book): https://www.amazon.com/Good-Mood-Revolution-Conscious-Happiness/dp/B0D8RLDCH1/
- Website: https://mattoneill.com/
Betrayal is one of the most painful of human experiences. Left unhealed, it can impact our teen’s health, schoolwork, and relationships. As parents navigating the teen years, it’s important to know how these wounds form and how to help our teens navigate through the healing process.
On today’s podcast, we’ll dive into the 3 discoveries that shed light on betrayal, along with providing a research-based, proven, and predictable way to heal from all of it.
Dr. Debi Silber, Founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and National Forgiveness Day (celebrated annually on September 1st), is an award winning speaker, and a 2-time #1 International bestselling author. Her podcast: From Betrayal to Breakthrough is also globally ranked within the top 1.5% of podcasts. Her recent PhD study on how we experience betrayal made 3 groundbreaking discoveries that change how long it takes to heal. In addition to being on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, TEDx (twice), and more, she’s dedicated to helping people move past their betrayals as well as any other blocks preventing them from the health, work, relationships, confidence, and happiness they want most.
- Tell us about betrayal: Why does it hurt, what does it impact, and what does it create?
- The breaking of an unspoken promise.
- What were the 3 discoveries you made during your study?
- Post-betrayal symptoms will follow you throughout your life unless you heal it.
- How does an unhealed betrayal impact our health, work, and relationships?
- What are the questions we can ask ourselves to see if we’re numbing/avoiding/distracting ourselves?
- How do we know if we haven’t healed from a betrayal?
- What do we need to do to move forward and heal from a betrayal experience?
- How can we learn to trust again?
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Website: https://thepbtinstitute.com
- The latest TEDx: “Do You Have Post Betrayal Syndrome?“: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyqOR69dHiU
- TEDx: Stop Sabotaging Yourself: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XX30i6nC7ro
- The From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast: https://thepbtinstitute.com/podcast/
- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@debisilber
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/InspireEmpowerTransform
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/DebiSilber
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/debisilber/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/debisilber/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/debisilber
Do you ever feel like you’re speaking a different language when you’re trying to connect with your teen? You’re not alone. In this episode, we dive into the fascinating science behind the teenage brain.
My guest today is Natalie Bedard, also known as NatNat, a beacon of resilience and empowerment. In 2019, she founded Lift OneSelf, offering profound energy healing services. Despite grappling with life-threatening illness and single parenthood to three boys, Natalie is a steadfast mentor on the journey of self-discovery and healing. With her profound understanding of the nervous system, she specializes in unraveling emotional blockages and reigniting intuitive connections. Natalie's trauma-competent approach is truly transformative. She guides individuals to embrace their fullest potential through small, actionable steps toward growth and transformation. It's about empowering people to navigate their healing journey with compassion, resilience, and a deep understanding of their unique experiences. Safety and radical honesty are the keys to unlocking the mystery.
As a solo parent of three boys, including twins with severe ADHD, Natalie navigated the challenges of the education system and personal adversity. She shares her story of using meditation to heal after a near-death experience and guide a live session to demonstrate how breathwork can facilitate emotional shifts. Whether you're a parent or educator, this episode offers practical tools and insights for connecting with teens.
- Being a parent is about understanding yourself.
- How to be willing to experience pain as our teens mature through their learning experiences.
- Let curiosity take the lead allowing the space to see what is going to happen next, rather than being reactive.
- Develop trust with your teen by taking an active role in listening to their experience.
- Being a teen is the time when they begin to make their own decisions, they are going to make mistakes. Keep an open dialogue to talk about risks and how they can manage them.
- We are feeling bodies that think. It’s important as parents that we process our own feelings.
- Two-minute mindfulness breath mediation example as a way to balance yourself.
- Natalie shares an abundance of knowledge in energy healing and what that has to do with being supportive parents.
- Looking at the shadows. Change can only come from within.
- Ed and Natalie talks about a listener’s question on what to do when your teen shuts down.
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Website: https://LiftOneSelf.com
- Instagram: https://instagram.com/liftoneself
- Facebook: https://facebook.com/liftoneself
- Podcast: https://liftoneself.buzzsprout.com
- Youtube: https://m.youtube.com/@LiftOneSelfPodcast
- Free meditation: https://liftoneself.com/gift
A very special 100th episode! Thank you to all of you, our amazing listeners. Whether you’ve been with us since the beginning in 2020, or you’re just tuning in now, you’ve helped make our podcast the success it has grown to be. I am grateful for your continued support of our programming!
I can’t think of a better guest today than the person I’m about to introduce. She has been by my side on this parenting journey, my incredible wife, Suzanne. In addition to being an amazing mom, she is the Director of Customer Experience & Channel Marketing at Revolution a REV UP BRANDS Company; a leading B2B organization that serves dance studios and educators world-wide.
She has a passion for leading growth, innovation, and change. Suzanne has been published in over 100 business articles for Dance Teacher Magazine’s "Ask the Experts" as a contributing columnist for over a decade. She regularly speaks and presents workshops at leading dance industry conferences and events.
Suzanne earned her undergraduate degrees in Psychology and Child Development from Colby-Sawyer College. She has an MBA from the University of New Hampshire with a specialization in Growth & Innovation. She is also a Certified Change Management Professional, CCMP.
This past July, we celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary!
- Each child is so different and the way we communicate with them needs to be too.
- How we open up the dialogue with them to communicate can be done in a variety of ways.
- Keeping family values in the forefront is essential in building a foundation for communication.
- Asking open-ended questions, then listening to what they share, can help you know how to support them.
- Are you giving advice, coaching them, or just listening?
- Every child’s stage of development is at their own pace.
- There is no “finding balance” as a parent, it’s about going with the ebb and flow of activity, seasons, sports, interests, and hobbies of each child.
- How to recalibrate when your teen gets too involved.
- There’s no one way to parent, we’ll make mistakes, we’ll learn. It takes a village.
- It’s important to apologize to your teen if you’ve not been at your best.
- Help them leverage with what they’re great at!
- There is so much we can learn from our teen’s.
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Book: How To Raise An Adult
- Book: The 5 Love Language’s
Elaine is a Master Certified Coach and co-founder of the global coaching resource for parenting neurodiverse kids, ImpactParents.com. The co-creator of Sanity School® for Parents, she is passionate about guiding parents of complex kids and the professionals who support them with training and coaching. A mom to three complex young adults, she is the author of Parenting ADHD Now! and The Essential Guide to Raising Complex Kids with ADHD, Anxiety, and More.
By teaching adults to take a coach-approach that is informed by a simple understanding of brain development, Elaine guides parents to let go of judgement, access compassion, set realistic expectations and dramatically improve the way they communicate with teens.
- What’s different about parenting teens? They are growing and exploring; this is an exciting time!
- As a parent, are you Directing or Collaborating with your teen?
- "Whose agenda is it?" Become more interested in their agenda than your own.
- Help is only helpful if it’s on their agenda.
- Transferring fear onto your teen.
- Why the coach approach? As a coach, create a place for your teen to explore by asking questions and guiding them into their own insights.
- What you need to know about the teenage brain.
- The ways in which parents and kids tend to fall out of trust with each other, and with themselves.
- When we know better, we do better.
- Self-care is vital in parenting teens. Elaine shares insights to help you be a calm & loving parent.
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Resource Guide: 12 Fool-Proof Tips to Parent a Complex Teen - Resource Guide
- Website: https://impactparents.com/
- Podcast: https://impactparents.com/podcast
Today I have the incredible honor to talk with a true visionary of the world of science and health. Bruce H. Lipton, Ph.D., former medical school professor, and epigenetic science pioneer, is the bestselling author of The Biology of Belief, Spontaneous Evolution, and The Honeymoon Effect. Bruce received the prestigious Goi Peace Award (Japan) in honor of his scientific contribution to world harmony. For over ten years, Bruce has been listed in the top 100 of “the world’s most spiritually influential living people” by the United Kingdom’s Watkins Journal.
Our lives are stressful, and they seem to get more and more stressful as the years go by. It can be a lot to deal with, but there are ways that we can make ourselves happier, and improve our overall well-being at a fast, and efficient rate. It comes down to the concept of energy psychology. We all know what psychology is, but what about energy psychology? Essentially, it is an approach to psychotherapy that involves coaching and healthcare treatment to work on the important mind-body connection. This is helping a lot of people worldwide deal with things like trauma, stress and more.
- Living in harmony with all living things, changing the way we interact with nature
- Parents are shaping the future of our civilization by the culture in which they raise their kids
- 95% of kids are experiencing life based on their earlier programming up to the age of 7
- Bruce shares insights on the power of the conscious and subconscious mind
- How what we think becomes the message we send our body which in turn creates the chemistry to carry out that thought
- Helping your teen create a new set of beliefs from old programming
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Website: https://www.brucelipton.com/
- Resources: https://www.brucelipton.com/resources/
Brandon Slade struggled with academics throughout high school, but in college, he recognized that his brain did not work like his peers. After receiving an ADHD diagnosis, Brandon aims to better understand how the ADHD brain works. After teaching special education for 12 years, he started Untapped Learning. Untapped's mission is to help students with executive function challenges—specifically ADHD and dyslexia.
Brandon’s expertise addresses the challenge of executive function difficulties in teens, particularly those with ADHD and dyslexia. We help parents, teachers, and coaches understand and support students who struggle with organization, time management, planning, and procrastination. Our approach aims to transform misconceptions about these students' motivation and abilities, reducing academic frustration and family tension while building life skills.
- Explore executive function challenges: time management, procrastination, impulse, emotional regulation, and organization
- Discuss what it is like growing up with ADHD
- A family doctor can assess if your child has ADHD and dyslexia
- Understand why kids struggle with organization, time management, and academics
- Debunk myths about laziness and lack of motivation in these students
- Learn innovative strategies to reduce family tension and foster student independence
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@untappedlearning
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/untappedlearning/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/untappedlearning
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brandon-slade-ef/
- Website: https://untappedlearning.com/
As parents we all want to see our kids grow into capable, strong, individuals who can lead themselves and others with purpose. In this podcast, we explore actionable steps that parents can take to nurture the leader within their teen.
Joining us today is Alan E. Nelson, Ed.D. who is a leadership development specialist, trainer, speaker, and Lecturer of Management at the Naval Postgraduate School (www.nps.edu). He previously taught at USC, UCI, LMU, and Pepperdine. Dr. Nelson founded KidLead Academy, the world’s first online course to train parents how to develop their child’s leadership potential (www.kidlead.com). He also founded LeadYoung Training Systems, designing organizational leadership curricula for 3-23-year-olds (www.LeadYoungTraining.com). He is the author of 40 books and over 200 articles on personal growth and leadership and the founder of KidLead Inc., a nonprofit focusing on young leader development.
Alan has a doctorate (Ed.D.) in leadership from the University of San Diego. During the first half of his life, he was an entrepreneurial leader in the social sector. In midlife, he concluded that leadership development could have a better return on investment by focusing on leaders while they’re moldable, not moldy. Since 2008, Alan’s been a pioneer in young leader development, designing age-n-stage curricula for 3-23-year-olds. Dr. Nelson has traveled to a variety of countries to train people with his curricula, along with interacting with 1000s of preteens and teens, as part of his research.
- What can parents do to develop their child’s leadership potential?
- What are early indicators of leadership aptitude?
- Alan talks about key leadership qualities: persuasive, propelled, planner, power.
- Is a person born as a natural leader or can they develop into a leader?
- What are the benefits of developing your child’s leadership potential?
- How do parents inadvertently shut down their child’s leadership ability?
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Website: https://www.kidlead.com/
- Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alanenelson/
- Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KidLeadAcademy/
- Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC280RZ3neguOVOPHNLmVq2Q
Many of us know how stressful this time can be. One big challenge is to step back and let your teen take the lead. It’s natural to want to be involved in all stages of the admissions process to selecting the college, having a heavier hand in the student college application essays, etc. How do we as parents let go of those rigid expectations and meet our teen where they are at and what is best for them.
Stacy Hernandez is a College Admissions Advisor and has been working on admissions since 1999. Stacy served as an Undergraduate Admissions Counselor at Johns Hopkins University and Northeastern University where she reviewed applications and recruited students around the country. Additionally, she has worked as a College Counselor in high schools in Colorado. In 2014, she opened an independent college admissions advising business called The Best U Admissions Advising where Stacy and her partners serve families from all over the world. Also, Stacy has transformational leadership coaching and intuitive background which allows her to support students to find their authenticity.
- Help parents understand how they are influencing their teens and how that can impact their ability to self-discover
- Show up in curiosity for your teen and ask the important questions, allowing them to find their own answers
- Often times, parent’s opinions are not helpful and can limit their teen’s ability to explore what they truly want
- Parents need to be aware of their own fears in letting their teen go
- Helping your teen determine what they want in a school, their non-negotiables, goals, and interests
- Meeting their teens where they are at
- Tips to find ease in this process
- The college admissions process, what colleges are looking for, and what it takes to get into certain schools.
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Follow on Instagram
- Follow on Facebook
- Website: https://thebestu.net/
- The Blog: https://thebestu.net/blogs/
- 1-Month Free Membership: https://thebestu.net/membership/. Use code TBUWELCOME at checkout to receive your first month of TBU Membership free and register for the webinar at no additional cost.
Tim Moore is a Master Hypnotherapist and Neuro-Linguistic Programming Practitioner who has helped people throughout the world break free from issues and limitations that prevent them from living their best, most fulfilling lives. In addition to his work in private practice as a hypnotherapist and NLP practitioner, Tim is also an author, speaker, and trainer of hypnotherapy through his Hypno-Mastery practitioner accreditation program.
In this podcast for parents of teens, we delve into understanding and nurturing the subconscious mind to help address common challenges faced during adolescence. We'll explore how to identify and overcome limiting beliefs, combat negative self-image, and develop resilience against bullying, as well as how the subconscious mind can help them reach their academic goals and future potential. The goal is to equip you with the tools to support your teen's mental and emotional well-being, empowering them to build a positive self-image and lead a more fulfilling life. Join us as we uncover the power of the subconscious mind in transforming the teenage experience.
- How the mind changes the way it receives and stores information as we grow
- Through our actions and best intentions, we often limit our teen's personal growth
- The impact of what you say and how it can create limiting beliefs in your child/teen
- How the root cause of a limiting belief can be transformed into a positive experience
- The subconscious mind, the conscious mind, and willpower
- The effects of social media and technology in shaping beliefs
- Misconceptions of hypnosis and how it can transform your reality in profound ways
- How hypnotherapy is one of the most powerful tools to making change, but also one of the most misunderstood.
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Website: https://www.mindoverthebody.com
- Email: hello@mindoverthebody.com
- Free access to my mini course “Remove Self Doubt” (which would be good for both parents and teens): https://empowerment.mindoverthebody.com
Jon Mattleman received his B.A. from Clark University in 1978, and his MS in Counseling from the University of Hartford in 1981. Jon’s workshops and presentations are geared to give participants tools they can implement immediately, strategies that work with children and youth, and approaches which have proven to be critical to building healthy relationships. Jon frequently consults with schools, parent groups, mental health organizations, and in workplace settings regarding the issues of anxiety, stress, depression, suicide, parenting, and the emotional consequences of technology.
Jon is a certified trainer in QPR Suicide Prevention and has worked with professionals in schools, with state organizations such as the Massachusetts Probation Department, as well as with hundreds of parents regarding self-harm and suicide prevention. Jon is best known for his talk “The Secret Life of Teens and Tweens” and has presented this to thousands of parents all over New England. Jon has appeared on numerous radio and television shows lending his expertise on anxiety, depression, suicide, teens, and parenting.
- When teenagers are giving their parents an attitude, how should they deal with that?
- Parents shouldn’t take an attitude from their teens personally.
- Be Patient. Never change your expectations of your teen, however you may need to change your timeline.
- Parents can practice giving themselves a time-out so they don’t say something they wish they could take back.
- What do you do if a kid gets in trouble, for example- smoking in the bathroom at school?
- What do you do when you learn that your son/daughter is having sex, do you confront them?
- “In the dark conversations” can be very effective when having challenging conversations as facial expressions can alter the outcome.
- Jon talks about a teen’s brain and what motivates them at different stages, and how to prepare and recognize these shifts.
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Website: https://www.jonmattleman.com
- Twitter: https://x.com/Jonmattleman
Karleen Savage, Conflict resolution expert and certified hostage and crisis negotiator shares the tools that work during an argument with our teens.
As a trailblazer in the realm of parent-teen relationships, Karleen Savage’s insights are not confined to theory, but are forged in the crucible of real-world challenges and triumphs as a parent herself, and from her experience navigating complex conflicts as a crisis negotiator.
As the creator of the Savage Theory of Resolution®, a five-skill model that can be used to resolve any conflict, Karleen knows that peaceful and amicable resolution is possible. Karleen has been featured on MSNBC for her knowledge in hostage negotiation. She holds a Masters in Conflict Resolution & Negotiations, and she is a certified hostage and crisis negotiator. She has been married for more than 30 years and resides in Utah with her family.
- Universal skills that experts use to resolve conflict
- Curiosity when you and your teen don’t see eye to eye
- Attitude-how do you show up in conflict?
- Master listening-this is essential and Karleen shares how to master this
- Connection
- Reframing & phrasing: what are the words we’re using? Are you “holding” in the conversation?
- Over-arching philosophies: what do you want for your teen? How do you create that as a possibility in them?
- How to create parenting mantras and why it’s important?
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Website: KarleenSavage.com
- Free Download: Get a digital download of The Confident Teen Blueprint
Rhonda Chadwick is a trained archivist who has written a book called “Secrets from the Stacks: an archivist reveals how to store, digitize, and preserve documents to create a family archive and leave a personal legacy. She has a dual MLIS/Archives Management and MA History degree. She is the owner of a personal history business called LenaSalina Legacy Preservation.
The teenage years contain some of our best times that teens will want to preserve, but also, sometimes tragedy strikes and teens may be in a position to want to save items from a loved one who has left this life too soon.
- Save pictures in non-proprietary format such as jpegs and word documents in pdf.
- Relying on the cloud for storage can be risky as the data lives on their service.
- It’s best to back up everything using 3-2-1: two local options (computer & flash drive) and one off-site service (cloud).
- What do to with all the photos on your phone: Keep photos and documents that have enduring stories.
- It’s a great practice to go through your saved photos on a regular basis and delete what is not necessary to save.
- The digital world is unstable, so printing photos is still a great idea.
- Social media, email, and text messages can also be saved
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Email: rhonda@lenasalina.com
- Website: LenaSalina.com
- Information provided by the Library of Congress: https://guides.loc.gov/family-history-for-kids/preservation https://digitalpreservation.gov/personalarchiving/
Jeannie Burlowski is a full-time academic strategist, podcast host, and speaker for students ages 12–26, their parents, and the professionals who serve them—and she is the author of the book LAUNCH: How to Get Your Kids Through College Debt-Free and Into Jobs They Love Afterward. Jeannie helps parents set their kids up to graduate college debt-free, ready to jump directly into careers they excel at and love. Her work has been featured in publications such as The Huffington Post, USA Today, Parents Magazine, and US News and World Report, and on CBS News.
- Most commonly known ways to pay for college: government loans, scholarships, and saving $ in advance. There are other options…
- Students can get a tuition reimbursement job while they’re in college. Jeannie shares lots of resources.
- It’s important for teens to figure out their strengths and interests while they’re in high school so they can begin to think about companies that offer tuition reimbursement.
- College is expensive-help your teen be as prepared as possible for what they want to study.
- Jeannie’s research indicates that 48% of kids who take an AP class in high school do not end up getting college credit for it.
- Real college classes in high school for real college credit: these are called - Dual enrollment and concurrent enrollment. Typically, the state pays for these classes and all of the material and books.
- Jeannie shares tips and ideas to help teens create a savings plan that works long-term.
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Website: JeannieBurlowski.com.
- Article: Got a College-Bound Teen? AP Classes in High School May Not Be His or Her Best Option
- Article: Got a Teen Headed to College? Here's Why a State University May Not Be Your Bargain Option
- Article: Does Elite Education Lead to a Happier Life? What Does the Research Say?
Jill Grimes, MD, is a board-certified family physician who specializes in college health. She is a nationally recognized medical media expert & author of award-winning book, “The ULTIMATE College Student Health Handbook: Your Guide for Everything from Hangovers to Homesickness”.
Teen & college age partying is NOT what parents remember! Beer (with perhaps, worst case, beer bongs) have given way to successive vodka shots and intentional “blackout” drinking, and the mellow “Cheech N Chong” joint sharing version of “pot” is a far cry from today’s high THC concentration “weed”. Dr. Grimes shares the inside scoop about the medical challenges and risks of today’s party culture.
- Late middle school and early high school is when you want to begin talking with your teen about managing their health care.
- If they take medication, schedule a weekly time to work with them on filling a pill organizer so they are prepared.
- Dr. Jill covers what your teen will need when filling out their own medical forms. Talk with your teen about the process and help them gather information they’ll need so they are prepared when they’re on their own.
- Hear from Dr. Jill on the most common illness and medical concerns that your teen may encounter, and how they can be prepared to get the help they need.
- About inking, Teens can get a temporary tattoo and live with that for a week to see how they feel about it before getting the real deal.
- Learn how to empower your teen to have a successful conversation with their doctor to be sure their needs are being addressed in the time given, and how to handle medication that’s prescribed: cost, side-effects, if they don’t feel better, etc.
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Website: https://jillgrimesmd.com
- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@TikTok.CollegeDoc
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jillgrimesmd
- Purchase the Book on Amazon: The ULTIMATE College Student Health Handbook: Your Guide for Everything from Hangovers to Homesickness
Karleen Savage, Conflict resolution expert and certified hostage and crisis negotiator shares the tools that work during an argument with our teens.
As a trailblazer in the realm of parent-teen relationships, Karleen Savage’s insights are not confined to theory, but are forged in the crucible of real-world challenges and triumphs as a parent herself, and from her experience navigating complex conflicts as a crisis negotiator.
As the creator of the Savage Theory of Resolution®, a five-skill model that can be used to resolve any conflict, Karleen knows that peaceful and amicable resolution is possible. Karleen has been featured on MSNBC for her knowledge in hostage negotiation. She holds a Masters in Conflict Resolution & Negotiations, and she is a certified hostage and crisis negotiator. She has been married for more than 30 years and resides in Utah with her family.
- Embracing Genuine Curiosity When You and Your Teen Don’t See Eye to Eye
- Are we listening in a way to learn from our teens?
- As our kids grow older, we shift as having control to being along side them as a partnership.
- Attitude-be careful not to solve your teen’s problems and challenges.
- Become a master listener – Karleen shares a blueprint of how to do this effectively.
- Parents need to have only a few rules, and they need to stick to them.
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Website: https://www.karleensavage.com/
- Free Digital Book: https://www.karleensavage.com/parents
A former middle school English teacher and parent of two, Emily Cherkin, MEd., The Screentime Consultant, witnessed the simultaneous rise of technology use for school, and smartphone and social media use for kids. Today, Emily consults with parents, offers school presentations and professional development training, and writes about parenting and screentime to bring her tech-intentional approach to as many people as possible. Emily’s work has been featured in The New York Times, NPR, The Today Show (twice), the BBC, Good Morning America, and more. Chuck Norris has quoted her. Emily is also a co-founder of The Student Data Privacy Project, an activism group dedicated to pushing back on excessive EdTech and screens in schools. Emily's book "The Screentime Solution: A Judgment-Free Guide to Becoming a Tech-Intentional Family" is an Amazon bestseller and available everywhere books are sold.
- What does it mean to be “tech-intentional”?
- Why don’t you recommend parental controls, and what do you recommend instead?
- Would you give your 11 yr. old keys to the car? To get a drivers license, it’s a process of learning, it doesn’t happen right away. It should be the same way in teaching your kids about safe and respectful social media engagement.
- Be careful about your teen’s use of apps and games. They are focused on hooking the watcher and keeping their attention, and on selling.
- Teens can feel judged about what they’re engaging in; be curious instead of judgmental when asking teen’s about what they’re plugged into.
- Be aware as parents of how predators seek out victims on social media and have these conversations with your teens.
- Parents often buy a phone for their teen to keep them safe, and yet it’s opens the teen up to other dangers like bullying, mental health concerns, predators, etc.
- At the end of the day, we want our kids to be safe and we want to protect them.
- Ask yourself: Do I know what my child is doing online? Do I have a good relationship with my child so we can keep the line of communication open?
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Website: https://www.thescreentimeconsultant.com
- Book Order: https://www.amazon.com/Screentime-Solution-Judgment-Free-Becoming-Tech-Intentional/dp/B0CB9JS5KB/
- Instagram: @thescreentimeconsultant
- LinkedIn: @emily-cherkin
- Facebook: @thescreentimeconsultant
- Youtube: @thescreentimeconsultantllc6072
- Twitter/X: @ScreentimeLllc
Many mental health therapists are seeing an increase in anxiety, depression, procrastination, panic and self harm in teens. Today, we will talk about ways parents can help their teenagers live happier and healthier lives regarding social media, screen time and why it is important to monitor the amount of time your child is spending on their device.
Denise Schonwald, LMHC, is a licensed mental health counselor, mental intuitive, and public speaker specializing in holistic well-being. With 30 years of experience as an ICU nurse, she witnessed the impact of stress, anxiety, and fear on patients and families. Denise integrates mental and physical health, providing comprehensive support for anxiety, depression, trauma, and more. Her approach combines therapy, meditation, and hypnotherapy. Denise, along with her therapy dog Henry, helps clients achieve optimal health. As a sought-after public speaker, Denise educates and inspires audiences on mental health topics.
- Why teens need social media & screen time rules and structure
- What can happen when the mind is exposed to too much screen time and how it affects our physical and mental health
- The mind can crave more and more screen time; it’s important as a family to set and stick to guidelines you’ve created
- Lead by example: model want your expect from your teens
- Having regularly scheduled family meetings is a great way to listen and learn how your teen is feeling
- It’s important to schedule rest and recovery time for teens as they work to manage their time, activities, and social media.
- Allowing teens to take responsibility for their choices.
- Appropriate extracurricular activities for teens.
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Denise is a published Author of three books.
- Healing Your Body by Mastering Your Mind
- Insightful Self-Therapy
- Her latest is a Children’s book: Getting Back to Happy
Resources
- Quiz: https://deniseschonwald.com/quiz/
- Website: https://deniseschonwald.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deniseschonwald/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deniseschonwaldllc/
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/denise-schonwald/
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@deniseschonwald
The dangers that exist in the world of social media today and how predators use it to put your child at risk.
Lt. Kinsman has been in law enforcement for 24 years and the last 20 of those years at the Portsmouth Police Department. In 2020, Lt. Kinsman accepted an offer in the Investigations Division as the Commander of the NH Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force. NH ICAC is one of 61 total ICAC Task Forces across the country and is responsible for a complex approach to investigating and prosecuting internet-based child sexual abuse cases. Lt. Kinsman is a veteran of the US Air Force and holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology and a Master’s Degree in Counseling.
- Parents should start the conversation about social media when they’re children are young to create an open dialogue about use and safe practices, and not wait until they are in the height of their teenage years.
- Kids use social media to connect and if they’re growing friendships based on someone’s social media ranking, it’s a red flag.
- Because social media is an instant gratification when people like or give a thumbs up, kids can begin to crave more or more.
- Teens can find themselves trusting someone they don’t know while believing that it’s a real person who genuinely wants to get to know them.
- There are multi-billion dollar conglomerates across the world that make a living off of this. They create a false profile and send out a wide net to fish for responses. Kids can fall into being comfortable with these new connections and end up sharing personal photos and information. That can be used against them in an extortion-type method to get $ with the false promise that they won’t share the information.
- As parents we can let our teens know that we are here for them no matter what comes up.
- Keeping the door open on dialogue with your teen about social media will help keep them informed about possible dangers. Knowledge is powerful.
- Parents need to work WITH their children on this issue, not AGAINST them.
- S.M.A.R.T. acronym: be the parent who is aware of what’s going on.
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Email: kinsmane@portsmouthnhpd.gov
Internet Crimes Against Children:
- www.icactaskforce.org
- info@icactaskforce.org
Jack Blackwell is a leader in the field of family constellation work. He has 15 years of experience leading lineage and family healing events and training facilitators. As the founder of Healing Family Trauma, Jack offers resources and guidance to those seeking healing and resolution in their lives. His work emphasizes the role of ancestry and generational patterns in shaping our lives, and how these patterns can be addressed and transformed through family constellation work. Through his facilitation, Jack helps individuals and families unravel the complex patterns and dynamics that have been passed down through the generations, enabling them to move towards greater harmony and connection.
With his expertise and compassionate approach, Jack has helped hundreds of clients overcome the challenges of family trauma and find greater peace and fulfillment. As a mentor and trainer, Jack is dedicated to empowering others to share in the benefits of family constellation work, spreading healing and transformation to communities across the globe.
- Childhood trauma can be impacted by the imprint of what happened to our ancestors.
- Children inherit the unresolved trauma that happened to their ancestors.
- Children can manifest a reoccurring pattern of behavior and not understand why, and they may be unable to break the cycle, even though they have family love and support.
- The trauma our ancestors were unable to heal can be passed down and cause generational behavior issues. The child can pick up the unresolved pain of their ancestors and act it out and recreate it.
- The trauma pattern begins to heal when parents honor the experiences their ancestors had and raise their children without resistance to that trauma.
- Family constellation work is based in love and as we open up to the trauma our ancestors faced, we can do it with love and respect for their experience knowing that they did their best.
- Jack shares his own powerful experience of family generational trauma and how love healed the past.
- Jack shares ways to begin to discover family history to uncover and heal from generational trauma.
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
To Experience a Family Constellation event for FREE - Email me. Events happen weekly.
- Email: Jack@HealingFamilyTrauma.com
- Website: HealingFamilyTrauma.com
- YouTube: @JackBlackwellConstellations
Elizabeth Keating is a professor of anthropology at the University of Texas at Austin who specializes in culture and communication. She recently published her third book, which reached #1 on Amazon’s Movers & Shakers in Books in the first week of publication, and was #1 in cultural anthropology the week after. The book, The Essential Questions: Interview Your Family to Uncover Stories and Bridge Generations, takes an anthropological approach to finding out about your own family history, and the Essential Questions help you to uncover new sides of family members you’ve known all your life.
Elizabeth’s academic research and writing focuses on culture and communication. She’s done fieldwork on the small island of Pohnpei (Micronesia), in the Austin Deaf Community, in Romania, India, Brazil, Germany and the U.S. She has presented talks and papers in 15 countries on a variety of topics in language and culture, and authored or co-authored over 50 academic articles. She has given talks about her research on communication in global teams at Google and in other business settings. She’s been a professor in the department of anthropology at UT Austin for over 25 years.
Key Takeaways
- In family conversations, the focus and excitement is generally on what the children and grandchildren are up to. Questions about what it was like for parents and grandparents when they were growing up is uncommon.
- It’s hard for young people to picture their parents and grandparents as kids and ask what their life was like at that time.
- Elizabeth shares her own personal story about interviewing her mom about the family, and then realizing after her mom had passed, that there was so much she didn’t know about her mom and wished she had the foresight to have had those conversations.
- How is focusing on the stories of our elders important in raising our teens? What lessons do they learn?
- Teens feel a sense of belonging as family stories are shared and they feel a deeper connection and conversation with their older family members.
- Often teenagers ask themselves why they do what they do, and in interviewing older family members, they often find a correlation to their family history and way of being.
- What challenges did older family members have with their parents and the hardships they faced that may have been passed down through the generations This offers a greater understanding for teens to know why their parents/grandparents respond/behave the way they do in certain situations.
- Teens can learn to become more open and compassionate as they learn about the difficult stories in their family history.
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Website: Elizabeth-keating.com
- Email Elizabeth: Click Here
- Follow on Twitter: https://twitter.com/talktofamily
Teenage years can be difficult transitional years. Most people, including teenagers themselves, have little to no idea how much worse processed foods can make those years. As teenagers prepare to leave high school and join the complicated world of adulthood, it is tragic to think that they are doing so with the consequences of processed foods. Surprising consequences can include depression, anxiety, irritability, fatigue, disrupted sleep, racing thoughts, brain fog, weight gain, eating disorders, and illnesses. Find out how to support teenagers to develop their own desire to avoid processed foods.
Dr. Ifland is the lead author of the first scholarly description of processed food addiction and definition of addictive foods. She earned her PhD in addictive nutrition at Union Institute and University (2010); her MBA at Stanford Business School (1978) and her BA in Economics and Political Science at Oberlin College (1974).
Dr. Ifland has been creating breakthroughs in recovery from food addiction from 1999 with her first popular book to 2018 when her textbook, Processed Food Addiction: Foundations, Assessment, and Recovery was released by CRC Press. She has been selected for her expertise by Oprah Winfrey Network, Martha Stewart Wedding Magazine, Fortune Magazine, and US News and World Report.
Key Takeaways
- How parents can model healthy eating choices to help their teens create good habits.
- The human brain is wired to fit in and belong. If your teen associates with people who have poor eating habits, it is likely they will be influenced by those habits.
- Your teens are being inundated with messages that drive their motivation to eat unhealthy food.
- When you keep food in your home that contains poor quality nutrients such as processed food, sugar, flour, preservatives, additives, etc. your kids will learn to crave those unhealthy foods.
- Limiting the availability of poor-quality food in your home can help shift your teens eating behavior.
- Create a list of clean eating foods and have a family meeting to talk about which foods your family enjoys so you can keep them on hand.
- Make healthy food readily prepared and available so your teen can grab a healthy snack or meal when time is limited.
- Get your family involved in preparing and cooking by scheduling family cooking sessions once a week. This will set them up for life-long success.
- As your teens begin to make healthy food choices, keep track of improvements you see in their sleep, behavior, grades, outlook, health, motivations, sports, etc.
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Website: FoodAddictionReset.com
- Website: ProcessedFoodAddiction.com
- Self-Quiz to see how you are experiencing food addiction in your own life: Take the Quiz
When our teens engage in challenging behavior, it often triggers negative feelings inside of parents and ignites fears for the future. That fear can lead us to increase our discipline which can lead to heightened conflict. When we learn to see our teen’s behavior through a new lens - as an opportunity to identify skills that need to be developed, it can help parents focus on support rather than discipline. That change in perspective and change in our approach helps our teens feel understood and helps them want to collaborate rather than push back.
After 19 years, Andrea left her thriving career as a lawyer to homeschool her autistic son when she was unable to find a school in which he could flourish. After nearly eight years of homeschooling, her son was ready to return to school. Instead of returning to her law career, Andrea wanted to share her knowledge and experience with other parents. She also returned to school and earned a Master’s degree in Education (M.S.Ed.) to maximize her impact in supporting parents. She started Autism Parent Solutions, to educate, support and empower parents with parent coaching to reclaim the joy of parenting as they help their autistic children make rapid progress, grow communication and collaboration, and create a peaceful home.
Key Takeaways
- Support over discipline: when our children misbehave, we have a tenancy to lean in discipline when often the case is that they do not yet have the skills to cope with what’s happening. Skill deficiency leads to misbehavior.
- Help your teen grow the skills that will give them the support they need to correct behaviors.
- Parents can take a moment before responding to misbehavior to collect their thoughts and try to understand what is going on for their teen instead of feeling like they have to react right away.
- An example of opening to a broader understanding might be to consider, “He/she is not giving me a hard time…he/she is having a hard time.” “He/she is doing the best he/she can.
- Sometimes parents need help implementing what they read and hear about on healthy parenting skills.
- Parents have their own experiences, beliefs and thoughts about how they were raised when they were a teen and this can influence how they parent their own kids.
- As parents, we often try to control what’s going on for our teens, when that can be the least effective approach.
- When parents have an understanding of their teen’s behavior, it can help their teen feel confident, seen and heard.
- Heavy-handed discipline can lower your teen’s self-esteem.
- Confident parenting doesn’t mean it’s perfect. It means you’ve done a great job and you can be gentle with yourself when things go sideways.
- It’s important as a parent to stop and celebrate what’s working.
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- To book a call: autismparentsolutions.com/apply
- For more information: autismparentsolutions.com
- Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/autismparentsolutions
- Follow on Instagram: @autismparentsolutions
Therese & “Tee” Forton-Barnes, is a Household Toxins Health Specialist and Coach and owner of The Green Living Gurus and Tee’s Organics. Tee grew up in a very healthy home in the 60’s and 70’s, went to college to open a health food store, and has been helping people for over 40 years keep toxicants out of their homes.
Tee is an entrepreneur, activist, podcast host, and educator. She spreads awareness of chemicals in everyday products that could cause many autoimmune illnesses, cancer, and other health issues. She guides women in creating a less toxic home and lifestyle to ultimately increase the odds of a long, healthy, vital life and a safe environment in their homes.
Key Takeaways
- Some of the chemicals that are a concern in our everyday living: fragrance, perfume, talc powder, and color from dye.
- Teens can get caught up in all the marketing and messages of food and body care products that are loaded with toxins.
- Parents can guide their teens to eat healthy by modeling what they eat and what they serve their families.
- Use essential oils instead of perfumes and fragrances as it’s a natural product.
- Essential oils can be mixed with water to create a spray for household use, your car, gym bag, etc.
- Laundry detergent and dryer sheets that include fragrance will coat your fabric with chemicals.
- Read your labels and know your ingredients!
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Use ‘Healthyhome’ for 15% off Tee’s Organics
- Follow on Facebook
Debbie Ausburn is a social worker turned lawyer who has worked with youth-serving organizations for more than 40 years. She has served as a camp counselor, juvenile court probation officer, group home parent, criminal prosecutor of crimes against children and litigation attorney advising youth-serving organizations throughout the United States. Her most important challenges, however, have been parenting foster children and stepchildren. She has never had biological children, but she has collected seven children and ten grandchildren. She has put the lessons that her children taught her in her recent book Raising Other People’s Children: What Foster Parenting Taught Me about Bringing Together a Blended Family.
Key Takeaways
- If all were right in the world, kids would want to be with their biological parents. No matter how much you love them, this is their reality, and their life is off-balance because of it.
- It’s important not to take things personally if your step/foster children/teens are acting out. It takes time for them to grieve through the changes.
- “Commitment is stronger than love” a phrase Debbie talks about in her book. When emotions run high, commitment can carry you through the challenging moments.
- Give them time to work through their circumstances, stay supportive and present for them. These builds trust.
- Kids are resilient however they can only handle what they can handle. Trauma can affect them in negative ways. They don’t always bounce back.
- Understand the difference between trauma and character flaws in order to help your step/foster teens heal and grow.
Sponsored by VarsityLeadership.com
Resources
- WEBSITE: https://www.debbieausburn.com/
- BLOG: https://www.debbieausburn.com/blog
- LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/company/other-people’s-children-llc
- BOOK: https://RaisingOtherPeoplesChildren.com
Do you have a teenager involved in the Performing Arts? How do you help them manage the fears that arise including perfectionism, fear of shining, vulnerability, motivation, failure and limiting beliefs?
My guest today is Dr. Alaina Johnson, a psychologist with over 20 years of clinical experience. As a mom raising three offspring who are passionate about the creative arts, she recognized the lack of resources on how to understand and support teens and tweens with similar interests. This led her to found Parenting Talent LLC as a support resource for parents, instructors, mentors, and studio owners dedicated to empowering young people in their creative exploration.
Dr. Alaina is the author of "Parenting Talent: The Grown-Up's Guide to Supporting Creatively Driven Teens and Tweens," which helps parents and mentors navigate the emotional and practical needs of teens and tweens in the arts.
Key Takeaways
- Achieving Perfectionism is a goal many teens in performing arts strive for. It’s about having incredibly high self-standards and what their inner voice is telling them. Is their inner voice a cheerleader or a critic?
- If your teen has an inner critic voice, you can encourage them to do activities that they’re not super invested in so they can take a more relaxed approach. Help them acknowledge their cheerleader voice so they can begin to shift their inner critic.
- Have them take their over-all goal and break it down into smaller steps. They can find their inner cheerleader voice when they recognize how well they are doing at achieving these smaller steps, even if they don’t succeed with the bigger goal of getting the part/role.
- Parents don’t want to see their kids in pain so they can often praise them when the teen knows they didn’t do their best job. This can lead to not trusting the parent and can cut off future conversations about their performances. Don’t offer false information, give them a hug, and listen.
- When kids are young, they turn to their parents for validation. As they reach their teen years, they are looking for validation from others. This is a natural progression as they begin to become more independent.
- So many leaders today participated in performing arts when they were young. There are so many valuable lessons that come from the experience.
- If your teen is highly driven to stay motivated and engaged in achieving their goal, it’s ok to talk with them about how they’re feeling. Although they may act as if everything is going well, they could be dealing with internal pressure and overwhelm.
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- WEBSITE: http://www.parentingtalent.com/
- EMAIL Dr. Alaina: dralaina@parentingtalent.com
- FACEBOOK: Parenting Talent
- INSTAGRAM: @parentingtalent
- BOOK: Parenting Talent: The Grown-Up’s Guide to Understanding and Supporting Creatively Driven Teens and Tweens
Rachel Marie Martin believes in the power of the human spirit to overcome, to thrive and to find deep joy and because of that she pours out her heart via these platforms: she is the writer behind the site FindingJoy.net and author of both Mom Enough and The Brave Art of Motherhood and a founding partner in Audience Industries – a company designed to train and equip entrepreneurs in their ventures. Her articles have been translated into over 25 languages, her site reaches millions of visitors per month and she has a robust, engaged Facebook community.
Her content has been featured in The Huffington Post, The Today Show, Star Tribune, Tiny Buddha, iVillage, Stuff New Zealand, John Tesh, PopSugar, Motherly, Parents, What to Expect, Independent Journal Review, Dr. Greene, Power of Positivity, Her View From Home, CafeMom, and many more. She speaks worldwide encouraging moms and entrepreneurs to live each day with purpose and drive. Beyond that, she’s a mom to seven, and calls Nashville, Tennessee, her home.
Key Takeaways
- “What’s the worst that can happen and can I get through that?” Worry is part of being a parent. Don’t beat yourself up if you worry. It’s an acknowledgement of your love.
- As a parent, be sure to settle into the knowingness that you are doing the best you can with the resources that you have.
- Using a “target with a positive expectation” is a good way to set a goal to give your teens the opportunity to succeed.
- Choose your words carefully when setting an expectation and use positive language. Give it some pause and grace when you talk with your teens.
- Setting boundaries can differ with each child/teen. Pay attention to their needs and honor who they are.
- Allow your teen to explore what they enjoy and consider their passion as a future career.
- It’s important to have a respectful relationship with your teen and to address any comments towards you as a parent. Do not take it personally and have a thoughtful conversation with them about your relationship and the boundary of respect.
Sponsored by VarsityLeadership.com
Resources
- WEBSITE: https://findingjoy.net
- FACEBOOK PAGE: Finding Joy
- INSTAGRAM: @finding_joy
- BOOK: Mom Enough: Inspiring Letters for the Wonderfully Exhausting but Totally Normal Days of Motherhood
Dale Troy is a College Success Coach and Certified Health Coach, who helps students transition successfully from high school to college. Dale's experience in helping college students started with her own three daughters. All three of her daughters graduated from Yale College, and she is a graduate of Yale College and Yale Law School. Dale's College Success Formula program provides students with strategies that reduce their daily stress and enable them to thrive.
Are you and your teen spending a lot of time talking about college admissions? Most families view high school as the gateway to college, and spend time, effort and resources to help their teens get into a good college. As a parent, you want your teen to have a great experience, and graduate in 4 years with a job that will support them.
Unfortunately, many students find themselves stressed, overwhelmed, and lacking confidence in their first semester of college. As a College Success Coach, Dale Troy has identified the key habits and skills all students need to thrive in college. You can help your teen with the transition to college by learning what they need to know before they arrive on their campus.
Key Takeaways
- It takes more than academic ability to succeed in college. There are 4 pillars of habits and skills that lead to college success (academic skills, social connections, physical health, emotional well-being).
- Time management is the key to college success because it's necessary to balance academics, social life, and self-care. Every student needs a planner, and a physical planner is best as they write down what they need to do it becomes more seated in their brain.
- It’s normal for your teen to feel stressed, however it’s important to know when they are overly stressed.
- When they feel stressed it’s important to talk with them about self-care: sleep, nutrition, exercise…are they getting enough. Do they have a way to release stress such as meditation, deep breathing, walking in nature, music, creating.
- Students want to feel included, make friends, and not feel lonely. It’s important for them to join a club, get involved in dorm activities, and talk with their parents about the choices they are making in choosing friends and activities, so they don’t get misled.
- How often to reach out to your teen in their first year of college can differ depending on your family communication. Creating a plan of communication, how often to connect, will set an expectation to stay in touch. A once-a-week face-to-face call (facetime, zoom, etc.) will help you see how they’re doing.
- Most freshman will be homesick, and this is normal. It can mean that they don’t feel at home yet in their new environment. As they get more involved in activities and create healthy friendships, they will settle more into feeling at home at school.
- Rescuing your teen is not the answer, supporting your teen is. Let them figure out the answer to the problem. This is their time to work through challenges, build resilience, and strengthen self-confidence to go out in the world after college.
- Help your student know where they can go and who they can talk with to solve the challenges they need help with.
- A resource for college-bound students: “The Greatest College Health Guide You Never Knew You Needed: How to Manage Food Booze, Stress, Sex, Sleep and Exercise on Campus” by Jill and Dave Henry.
Sponsored by VarsityLeadership.com
Resources
- WEBSITE: https://www.crushcollegestress.com
- EMAIL: daletroy@crushcollegestress.com
- INSTAGRAM: @crushcollegestress
- FACEBOOK GROUP: College Parent Support Community
A resources for parents:
- Parent Guide to College: Six Keys to Ensure Your Child Graduates on Time
A resources for college-bound students:
- The Greatest College Health Guide You Never Knew You Needed: How to Manage Food Booze, Stress, Sex , Sleep and Exercise on Campus by Jill and Dave Henry.
Shahar Link is the CEO and founder of Mindspire Tutoring and Test Prep, which has tutored thousands of students across the country for over a decade in the SAT, ACT, and every other academic subject. Shahar has been teaching in high schools and tutoring standardized tests for over 25 years. He earned a master’s degree in history from Stanford University, writing his thesis on the history of IQ testing. Ever since he has been determined to help students succeed on standardized tests and in high school. Welcome to the show, Shahar!
Key Takeaways
- SAT & ACT: Some kids are better at one test versus the other. Knowing which test is better for your teen makes a big difference in their success and which one they might take.
- A majority of universities across the country are now test-optional. This doesn’t mean that it’s not an important aspect of their application.
- Students who score with an above average score for the school they’re applying to, will have a better chance of getting into that school verses someone who does not submit a score.
- If your teen’s score is less than average for that school you will want to consider whether or not they submit a score.
- There are some students who don’t match what they’re capable of on the standardized tests. This could be for a variety of reasons like test anxiety, learning behaviors, etc. They may want to consider not taking the test or working to improve their ability before taking the test.
- Parents can help their teens overcome test anxiety and stress by practicing breathing techniques and by taking practice tests to help normalize test taking.
- Make learning active: have your teen write down what they’re learning: flash cards, journaling, note cards. This takes what they’ve learned to a deeper level of remembering.
- Students who ask teachers for support and help will do better. Empower your teen to be a self-advocate.
Sponsored by VarsityLeadership.com
Resources
- Visit Shahar's website
- Email Shahar Link
- Visit Shahar on Facebook
- Follow Shahar on LinkedIn
A graduate of Harrison High School in Harrison, NY and Northwestern University, Jon Varlamos received his Master’s degree in teaching from Fordham University. He began his teaching and coaching career at West Hempstead and Locust Valley High Schools before moving to Walt Whitman High School as an Assistant Principal, where he’s spent the last 19 years.
Jon discusses the mindset and behaviors of teenagers in today’s schools with specific focus on being present, coping, interacting and social media’s effect on all of this.
Key Takeaways
- Really focusing on the effects of social media on our young adults’ behavior, actions, interactions, mindset. It’s not going away, this is their world.
- One of the biggest concerns is that teens get a lot of their “experience” by watching other people’s experiences on social media.
- Parents can look back at life before cell phones when they learned from real world experiences. Teens today are often missing that real-life interaction.
- Parents can help their teen work through what they’re seeing and hearing through social media.
- It’s good to set phone expectations and boundaries as a family so everyone can be responsible based on guidelines.
- Healthy expectations of your teen is important so they realize it’s not what they see on social media. Talk with them about their goals and how you can support them without applying pressure that overwhelms them.
- It’s important to allow your teen to make mistakes and learn rather than jumping in to save them from the learning experience.
- Respect and responsibility can be taught as parents’ model that behavior.
- It’s ok for parents to admit when they’ve made a mistake or acted inappropriately.
- Parents can approach a teacher, a coach, an administrator to talk about any concerns. Tap into that support.
Sponsored by VarsityLeadership.com
Resources
- Email Jon Varlamos
Better understand how to navigate teen mental health issues in our latest episode, featuring Robin Glenn, chief strategy and business development officer with 7 Mindsets. She’ll help demystify typical teen behavior from red flags, provide tips for creating supportive environments at home and school, and share methods for fostering open communication on sensitive issues.
Robin Glenn is an accomplished therapist with over 25 years of experience in working with at-risk teens and their families. She founded BASE Education, a student mental health solution acquired by 7 Mindsets in January 2023. As chief strategy and business development officer with 7 Mindsets, Robin oversees curriculum development and strategic initiatives, further expanding the integrative capabilities and partner access to the highest quality program. Prior to founding BASE, Robin’s professional work included roles as a school-based therapy specialist for at-risk teens, private practice therapist for adolescents and their families, treatment coordinator for intensive in/outpatient teen programs, and research specialist in clinical trials for adolescents with addictions. While serving in her various roles, Robin served on panels and boards for various teen organizations, and she has and continues to train law enforcement, school administrators and faculty, medical professionals, and members of the community through various speaking engagements and seminars on issues pertaining to at-risk youth. Robin is also on the advisory council for the Jake Jabs Center for Entrepreneurship for the University of Colorado at Denver Business School.
Key Takeaways
- Create an intentional space so you can understand where your teens are coming from. They often don’t know to talk about their feelings unless we make the space to give them the opportunity.
- Create this space in a private setting away from others, allow time so no one feels rushed, sit side by side, set the tone to make it an easy-going experience.
- Creative ways to ask questions so your teen will open up: “tell me some cool things that happened today, tell me what’s keeping you up at night, what’s it like being you right now…help me understand.
- Teens pick up on everything. If you’re asking them a question, listen! Don’t be distracted.
- Give your teen the chance to fail when the price is low. When they fail at home, it gives you the opportunity to talk with them about risky behavior to set them up for success in the future, when the stakes are much higher.
- It’s important to give your teens enough rope so they can experience life. They will fail, this is the nature of being a teen, and being there for them to help them understand what they’ve learned from the mistake, is vital to their growth.
- Mindsets to view life: letting go of unlimited beliefs, holding your self accountable, live to give, attitude of gratitude, and more.
- Helping your teen find their passion: let them try different activities and be involved in what they experience so you can see what gets them excited. Help them bring out that passion and let them know what you see in them.
- Model cell phone use so your teen knows to put their phone down because you do. Put it in another room.
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Website: https://7mindsets.com/
- Email: robin.glenn@7mindsets.com
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-glenn-b4144b13/
Edy Nathan’s private practice focuses on grief, trauma, loss and sex. Tough conversations people don’t like to have yet cause obstacles in creating a life worth living. Edy earned her master’s degrees from New York University and Fordham University in New York City. Edy is a Psychology Today blogger, international speaker, and workshop innovator. She is the author of “It’s Grief: The Dance of Self-Discovery through Trauma and Loss.”
Key Takeaways
- Grief is not just something your teen gets over, and grief is not only when someone they love dies.
- When you ask your teen “what are you yearning for and what’s missing” you may learn more about what they’re grieving. They may be feeling out-of-sync, moody, restless, emotional; have a desire and hunger to fit in, to be included…these are forms of grief and loss.
- Parents who want to help their teen deal with grief and loss and find that their teen doesn’t want to talk about it, will need to be creative in how they engage their teen. It might be through an activity, involving them in something they love; being a witness to their experience without asking something of them.
- When a parent becomes reactive with their teen and strong-arms them into conversation they don’t want to have, they shut down.
- 11 phases of grief, it’s a journey. They’re going to go through many phases. Be there for them as a good listener and love them through it.
- It’s important for adults/parents to seek the help they personally need when they are grieving so they can be in a place to support their teen.
- As a parent, you may find yourself grieving when your teen leaves the family home for college, a job, military, etc. When you’re feeling the loss of a child, it’s important to let your teen know that it’s not their responsibility for how you’re feeling. Let them know they have a right to go on their own path.
- If your teen closes the door on your relationship after they leave the family home without an understanding of why, continue to honor who your child/adult is. Perhaps sometime in the future, they will remember the good times, and possibly reopen the relationship.
- Parents can look at their own trauma, where that may have bled out into their relationships with their teens, this can be healing and helpful in moving forward.
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Website: https://edynathan.com/
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/edy-nathan/
- Blog: https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/tales-grief
- Amazon: It's Grief: The Dance of Self-Discovery Through Trauma and Loss
David Samore hails from Sioux City, Iowa, fourth of five sons to immigrant parents. After serving 18 years as the principal of a leading middle school in Palm Beach County, Florida, he served as the SDPBC Principal of Global Leadership and Innovation. Dr. Samore has been a teacher and administrator at elementary, middle and high schools for over 35 years. He speaks five languages and earned the International Baccalaureate (IB) Diploma in Britain. A major thrust of Samore’s work has been the creation of overseas opportunities for all learners, including students, faculty, and community.
Dr. Samore has just published his first book, Ecstatic Doom: The Adult’s Guide to Middle Schoolers (2023). He has also contributed articles to the leading educational leadership magazine of Spain, Supervisión 21 and to the 2018 Collier & Thomas book Transforming Secondary Education: Middle and High School Dual Language Programs. Samore’s future books are True Leadership: Why Common Sense and Open Arms Always Win (2023) and Avoiding Titanic: What Schools Can Do to Save the Sinking American Male (2024).
Key Takeaways
- Bullying-all children will either be a victim or a bystander or both. Bullying begins early in a child’s life. Honest conversations with your kids: this is what it is, have they experienced it, and what to do about it.
- It’s important for parents to talk with their teens about being proud of who they are and where they’ve come from. To help them feel strong and use language that helps them stand up for themselves when they are being bullied.
- Parents can talk with their teens about how they might be perceived by a bully. What they say and do sends a message about who they are, and this can often make them vulnerable to a bully.
- Teens can practice in front of a mirror or with mom, dad, and friends to say, “Stop doing that, I don’t like it.” in a firm and clear voice. Role-playing gives a teen a chance to get prepared.
- Failure is necessary to learning and parents shouldn’t feel the need to protect their teens from failing. It’s going to happen. Don’t panic, keep calm. Stop, get a private moment with your teen and listen. Strategize with them on how they can handle it differently next time.
- Know what kind of parent you are. The authoritative or the authoritarian parent.
- Parents struggle with staying calm. Practice active listening with no other distractions. Repeat back to your teen what you think you heard them say.
- Raising a good teen takes time and lots of practice. Keep the communication open and clear.
- Inconsistency in raising your child can lead to disrespectful behavior towards you as they get older.
- Say what you mean and mean what you say. You are modeling behavior for your teen.
- You won’t be your teens friend; they need you to be their parent.
Sponsored by Lessons in Leadership Online Program
Resources
- Website: www.davidsamore.com
- FaceBook: https://www.facebook.com/david.samore.7
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-samore-ed-d-a053402a/
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/david_samore
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@davidsamoreed.d.7430/videos
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/davidsamore/
Stacey Clarke has been an educator for more than 2 decades. She pursued a career in broadcast journalism in college, then had the chance to be a substitute teacher while building her career. Stacey realized that she had a passion for teaching and wanted to help students experience the very best in education, so she changed careers. Stacey is the Assistant Director for a Charter School, grades 6-12, and she is also a parent of two teens.
Key Takeaways
- It can be a big challenge for teens to have a successful transition to a new school or a new grade. Parents can often offer the advice that it’s all going to be ok. And that may not be true for all teens.
- It can be helpful for parents to share stories of what it was like for them when they transitioned into a new school or a new grade.
- Some teens do better than others, keep communication open with your teen. They can have a whole range of different experiences and emotions and it’s important to be available for them to share what it’s like for them.
- It’s okay for your teen to feel the way they do. Allow them to go deeper into the emotion and let them experience that. It’s ok for them to be nervous, uncertain, afraid.
- Parents should communicate with their teen’s teachers. Tap into resources, academic, social emotional, etc. There is support for your teen in everything they do.
- To help your teen stay organized, keep a shared calendar so they and you know what their teen is expected to do, along with deadlines for assignments and projects. Reach out to teachers to help their teen stay organized, lean on school. The teachers are part of your team.
- Every student should have a trusted adult at school that they can go to. The parents should also have a person at school that they can tap into too. Teens do better, all around, knowing they have a trusted adult at school.
- Social media: “put it down and put it away”. Parents can create device free dinners, device fee car rides, etc. Help their teen take a break from the noise. Important for parents to model good behavior. Boundaries are for the parent as well as the teen.
- To help teens deal with drama, parents need to listen with non-judgment. Once their teen shares their emotions about the drama, they often will find their own way in overcoming it. Don’t try fixing it or pushing it aside.
- Keep communication open with your teen so they know they can talk with you and share their day.
- Respect yourself, respect others.
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
Patty Hendrickson (La Crosse, WI) is a booked and busy, high-energy and highly interactive speaker sharing with both student leaders and professionals. Since 1992 she’s spoken to more than a million people. With a Masters of Business Administration, she’s an award-winning association leader; author; and Certified Speaking Professional – a prestigious designation earned by less than 1000 people in the world. Most importantly, she’s a mom with two kids and an entrepreneur with a successful business. Her personal mantra is “Don’t cheat the world out of your wonderful!”
Key Takeaways
- Statistics indicate that 3 out of 5 Americans are dealing with loneliness. Lean in when talking to people because you never know if they are feeling lonely. By being there for them, you can make a big difference in their life.
- People want to feel safe, that they belong, and that they matter. We need to show up in our connections with people and let them know that they matter.
- As a parent, it’s important that your eyes say that you love them, regardless of what else is going on. That’s a connection.
- When your teen says they need some alone time, it shouldn’t mean that they’re going to their room to jump on social media.
- Are you proud of the person on your pillow? This is a good conversation with your teen as they go off to bed. They may share something about their day that they wouldn’t otherwise share.
- It’s important as a parent and in modeling for your teen, to take the time to get quiet each day to reflect. This opens you up to the possibility of manifesting what you do want to experience.
- Teens start to identify with what they love to do, and unfortunately, when people offer their opinion and their concern/fear about the teen’s choice, it can leave the teen wanting to hide what they love. What they love never goes away, even if they choose a different path. Don’t let them cheat the world out of their wonderful!
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- PattyHendrickson.com
- Patty@PattyHendrickson.com
- Instagram.com/Patty.Hendrickson
- Linkedin.com/in/pattyhendrickson
Brooke Romney is a writer, speaker and leader of an online community who helps moms of teens and tweens create meaningful, healthy and enjoyable relationships with their children through practical application, education and community. Her goal is for every family to feel confident and connected. The mother of four boys ages tween to adult, Brooke knows parenting perfection isn’t real and takes an honest and hopeful approach with her audience. Her best-selling book “52 Modern Manners for Today’s Teens” (Volumes 1 & 2) provides weekly tips to help parents and teens navigate the complexities of today’s world. The follow-up, 52 Modern Manners for Kids, will feature tips for kids and tweens aged four to 12 and is set to release this August. Brooke and her family live in Utah.
Key Takeaways
- Take Baby Steps: Handing your child a smartphone right off the bat (and at a young age) can cause a lot of issues. Start by sharing your phone. Talk about what apps they can and can’t use. Look at your screen time reports and adjust.
- Start with a media that you can watch together like YouTube to teach them about parameters and how to manage inappropriate online behavior.
- Model Social Media and Phone Use For Your Children: Show your kids what you're doing on your phone, whether it’s sending emails for work, arranging carpool or ordering groceries; parents can show the value of technology as well as the consequences.
- Talk safety and media literacy: Help your children understand how algorithms work. Teach them to be mindful of what they are encouraging in their feed and how that will affect their mental well-being. Help them understand how to spot misinformation and harmful rhetoric.
- Although your teen may be tech savvy, they do not have the emotional maturity of an adult. It’s ok if they get in over their head with social media to have them take a break from it.
- It is not you verses your teen when it comes to their phone. You are working together to find solutions and help them use their phone as a tool to live their best life.
- As parents, it’s important to create a working relationship to continue to talk with your teen about social media, what they’re experiencing, and how you can help.
- Let your teen know that if they are feeling unsafe or out-of-control with social media, they can come to you for help without judgement or consequences.
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- 52 Modern Manners for Today’s Teens
- @brookeromneywrites
Dr. Edward Phillips, an Associate Professor at Harvard Medical School and Juna Grata, coauthors of a new book, FOOD, WE NEED TO TALK: The Science-Based, Humor-Laced Last Word on Eating, Diet and Making Peace with Your Body (on-sale July 11, 2023 from St. Martin’s Press). They also host the popular podcast of the same name, Food, We Need To Talk. Juna Gjata graduated from Harvard in 2017, with degrees in cognitive neuroscience and a minor in music. She is a concert pianist and composer, and creator of the podcast.
Key Takeaways
- Some signs to look for that may indicate an eating concern: skipping meals, being restrictive with food, saying no to food at party’s and family gatherings, checking weight more than usual.
- Be aware of who they tune into on social media and if pictures represent body image concerns.
- Eating disorders are a formal mental health diagnosis affecting 20% of the population.
- Your kids will believe what they hear from you. What you are sharing about healthy body image and the way you feel as an adult about your own body, image is very important in modeling a healthy outlook for your kids.
- If there’s an issue, it’s better to deal with it than let your teen suffer in silence.
- Be careful what you say to or in front of your teen about weight loss, weight gain, working out, etc. especially if you are talking about them. You may think you’re being helpful to point things out, but chances are they are going to want to do the opposite of what you’re advising. They already know they’re a concern.
- It’s best not to talk with your teen about any concerns you have about your own weight, body image, calorie counting, or food choices.
- When you recognize that your teen needs help, seek it right away, don’t wait. It’s not a phase. Visit the National Eating Disorder Website to learn more.
Sponsored by Lessons in Leadership online program
Resources
- https://www.foodweneedtotalk.com/
- https://www.instagram.com/foodweneedtotalk/
- https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/food-we-need-to-talk/id1490621476
- https://open.spotify.com/show/23abFTJfrYQwMMBxfPlLr6
Jill Grimes, MD, is a board-certified family physician who specializes in college health. She is a nationally recognized medical media expert & author of award-winning book, “The ULTIMATE College Student Health Handbook: Your Guide for Everything from Hangovers to Homesickness”.
Teen & college age partying is NOT what parents remember! Beer (with perhaps, worst case, beer bongs) have given way to successive vodka shots and intentional “blackout” drinking, and the mellow “Cheech N Chong” joint sharing version of “pot” is a far cry from today’s high THC concentration “weed”. Dr. Grimes shares the inside scoop about the medical challenges and risks of today’s party culture.
Key Takeaways
- Passed out is not the same as blacked out. If you can shake them and wake them up, they are drunk and sleeping. If you cannot wake them, they are unconscious, get help immediately.
- When someone blacks out, they are unable to hold onto long-term memory. This is especially a concern if they have been physically intimate with someone. They may have been giving enthusiastic, verbal, ongoing consent while they were under the influence, however, they may not remember they gave that consent the next day.
- How does parental drinking influence your teens? Modeling responsible behavior in key in helping your teen recognize how to keep drinking under control.
- It’s an on-going conversation with your teens, to be aware of opportunities to talk about what it looks like, and how people behave when they’re under the influence.
- Drunkcalc.com is an app that calculates your blood alcohol level and risks.
- 20-30% of college teens do not drink, however they become the person who takes care of their friend or roommate. It’s just as important for them to know and recognize the signs of over-drinking so they can get help.
- 1 in 6 teens who try cannabis, get addicted. The high levels of THC are dangerous and can send your teen into a state of paranoia, losing touch with the real world.
- Edibles are innocent looking, however packed with high doses of THC. It can take 60-90 minutes for the full potency of THC to kick-in, which leads to the possibility of taking more because at first, they don’t feel the effects.
- It’s important for parents to be educated on these substances, so they can talk with their teens about the impact it has on their brain function, their body, and the risk of addiction.
- If your teen is on ADHD medication, they will not feel the first effects of drinking and may over-drink, and then feel the full impact come on all at once.
Sponsored by EdGerety.com
Resources
- Website: https://jillgrimesmd.com
- TikTok: TikTok.CollegeDoc
- Instagram: JillGrimesMD
- The ULTIMATE College Student Health Handbook: Your Guide for Everything from Hangovers to Homesickness
Drawing on her Irish-Celtic heritage, Julianne Stanz helps us explore the Celtic idea of the “thin places” and how to help children create spaces for grace in their lives. While thin places have always been associated with specific ancient locations, it is clear that we have entered a thin space today, time of spiritual displacement. This spiritual displacement finds its voice in communal expressions of pain such as protesting and social media trends, and in rioting and civil unrest. If we can navigate this well, we can emerge stronger, more connected to one another, more empathetic, peaceful and hopeful—and as a result, we will be able to solve problems differently by working together. One way of navigating this thin space effectively, both within ourselves and as a society, is by drawing from the wellspring of ancient spiritual traditions, especially those from the world of the Celtic spirituality. How do we help our children to navigate their own thin times of transformation, growth and wonder?
- Tapping into the thin places in your life where there is space to listen to the messages that our beyond our everyday existence.
- To meet those thin places in your life, one must slow down, step away from the distractions, and listen.
- We are often disconnected from our spirit and teaching teens to get quiet and shut out the noise, is key to helping them find their own inner voice.
- Help your teen recognize the things that pull them away and keep them from being centered.
- Some strategies to get quiet and connect to your greater self is prayer, mediation, walk in nature, listen to what you’re hearing without allowing your mind think for you.
- Teens can be tuned into everything, and nothing because it’s so shallow.
- Pain that is not transformed will be transferred. As a parent, what are you transferring that was negative for you and how can you heal yourself?
- Research shows that this generation of teens is more interested in having a conversation about spirituality. They want to be more connected to a greater connection.
- Junk drawer: a place where you stuff away the pain. How can you help your teen open their drawer, find a deeper connection to their spiritually to work though their junk drawer?
- Who is your teens soul-friend? That mirror that helps guide them to their higher self by walking with them through their difficult times, and happy moments.
- It’s important for parents to share their stories of family so teens can understand who came before them and become inspired by how their family moved forward.
- You were made for more!
Sponsored by Lessons in Leadership
Resources
- https://www.juliannestanz.com/
Humorist and motivational Comedian Kevin Wanzer is from Indianapolis, Indiana, where he began his speaking career in 10th grade. As a teenager, he addressed the United Nations and was appointed to the White House Conference for a Drug Free America. To this day, Kevin is still one of the youngest presidential appointees in American history. Kevin also served on the staff of The David Letterman Show. Kevin uses humor to focus on the importance of leading through kindness and looking out for those who may be left behind or forgotten.
Matthew Vire wrote the first draft of I Love You When in 2019 to assure his soon-to-be-adopted son, Christian, that he is always loved, no matter what. Matthew holds a Master degrees in theatre, psychology and has recently earned a Masters in Business Administration.
Together, Kevin and Matthew married nearly 9 years ago and have two children with special needs and two perfect terriers.
- Special needs include a broad spectrum of neurological differences.
- Raise the child that you have not the child you thought you’d have.
- It can be challenging when you reach for support from your peers, friends, and family if they have not raised a child with neurological differences. Their experience is different than yours.
- It’s important to adapt and modify strategies to find what works best when disciplining your teen with special needs.
- As parents of special needs teens be careful not to let the judgement of others affect you emotionally. Until they’ve walked in your shoes, they don’t know your experience.
- It’s possible that your relationship with friends and family may change if they are not patient and understanding of what your challenges are.
- Patience, empathy, and understanding are the foundation for parenting.
- Seeking professional support can make a big difference. Network with parents who have a child/teen with the same or similar neurological differences as your teen.
Sponsored by Stand Up For Your Greatness
Resources
- https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubpdfs/child-trauma.pdf
- https://www.specialolympics.org/
- https://www.buddyprogram.org/
- https://www.kevinwanzer.com/
Dr. Armstrong explains what makes the adolescent so amazingly powerful and talks about how we can tap its wonders in the middle school and high school level with simple interventions such as bringing emotion into learning, providing students with physical movement as they learn, incorporating real life experiences like internships and apprenticeships, and helping students understand how their brains work.
Thomas Armstrong, Ph.D. is the author of 20 books including his latest, a novel called Childless. His other books include The Power of the Adolescent Brain, Neurodiversity in the Classroom, 7 Kinds of Smart, Multiple Intelligences in the Classroom, and The Human Odyssey. There are over 100 foreign editions of Dr. Armstrong’s books in 30 languages. Dr. Armstrong has given over 1000 keynotes, workshop presentations, and lectures on six continents in 29 countries, and 44 states in the past thirty years. His clients have included Sesame Street, the Bureau of Indian Affairs, the European Council of International Schools, the Republic of Singapore, and several state departments of education. He has written articles for Family Circle and Ladies Home Journal, as well as a column for Parenting Magazine.
Key Takeaways
- “What were they thinking?” A lot of things are going on in the teenage brain that were not going on 2-3-4 years ago.
- It’s amazing that teenagers are as reasonable as they are given the neurological changes and growth happening within the teenage brain.
- The teenage brain can often seem that they have their foot on the gas pedal, but the brakes haven’t been installed yet. They have an insatiable need for new experiences.
- The teenage brain fully develops around the age of 22-23.
- Giving teens the chance to make choices and take responsibility is important for their mental growth.
- Help your teen to self-regulate their emotions. Help them understand what the triggers are and then help them develop their own strategies on what they can do about it.
- Teens are looking for leadership, people who can help them learn things. Be sure that they are learning from people who have their best interest in mind. Help them find mentors in their area of interest so they can have hands on experience.
- The teenage brain is seeking reward. Social media plays a huge role in that need. Parents can tab into rewarding their teen in ways that satisfy that need without giving way to social media.
- We are born as geniuses with the joy and passion to learn. Over time, that can be diminished. As parents we can stop suppressing the things that they love to do. Let them have the experiences that help them decide what they want to move towards.
Sponsored by Lessons In Leadership https://varsityleadership.com
Resources
- Website: https://www.institute4learning.com
- Email: thomas@institute4learning.com
- Twitter: @Dr_Armstrong
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drthomasarmstrong
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drthomasarmstrong
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/DrThomasArmstrong
- Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/86936.Thomas_Armstrong
My guest today is Steve Beals, Principal of Alvirne High School in Hudson, NH. Steve is in his 24th year as a principal and 35th year in education. In this episode, we talk about how to help your teen navigate the waters of school and the importance of partnering with their principal.
Key Takeaways
- There are more challenges today for students than ever before. There’s no question that social media and technology plays a key role in that. Many students are still facing learning issues post pandemic and their social emotional needs have changed.
- Academics is still playing catch up to what was missed in the previous years.
- Schools have transitioned from the main focus of learning needs to helping students academically, along with society and social needs.
- Parents can feel overwhelmed by all the issues facing their teens today, stay ever present in your kids lives, even when they’re pushing you away. Attend their events, be as much a part of their activities and community as you can be. Teens need parents to be supportive of them.
- It’s perfectly normal for teens to push boundaries and make mistakes, and partnering with their school principal can help them feel supported and understood.
- When a parent is called to meet with their teen’s principal regarding a disciplinary concern, they need to deprogram any experiences they had as a teen.
- Introduce yourself to your teen’s principal and administration at the first of the year to begin building a relationship with them so if there are concerns, you have a connection to work together to support your teen.
- Teens are resilient!
Sponsored by Gerety Presentations: https://edgerety.com/education/
Resources
- sau81.org
Sheryl Ziegler, Psy.D. is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and a Play Therapist in private practice. She is the author of Mommy Burnout: How to Reclaim Your Life and Raise Healthier Children in the Process. In this important episode, we talk about what keeps parents up at night when it comes to feeling over-whelmed and burned out while raising teens.
Key Takeaways
- New research indicates that the biggest concern parents have today is about their teen’s mental health.
- The adolescent brain is wired to seek out reward by engaging in high-risk behavior.
- Parents still have the most influence over their teens. Even though your teen may suggest differently, they are listening to you. Your voice is in their head.
- Parents need to talk with their teens about their family values. What’s ok and what’s not
- Parents can learn to collaborate with other parents who are trusted confidants to talk about the issues at hand.
- Smart phones and online engagement is one of the biggest contributors to teen mental health concerns. Their brain can be inundated with stressful information about worldwide issues that they are not equipped to process.
- Social media is an addiction.
- When your teen is ready to talk, it’s important for you to be there for them.
- Puberty is happening at an earlier age for most kids and they are experiencing body changes at a time when their brain is not ready to understand the changes.
Sponsored by Lessons in Leadership
Resources
- DrSherylZiegler.com
- StartwiththeTalk.com
- Sheryl’s Book: Mommy Burnout: How to Reclaim Your Like and Raise Healthier Children in the Process
Dr. Norrine Russell uses an innovative method of coaching for complex students including those who have ADHD, Autism, Anxiety; and those who have learning differences. Dr. Russell has a Ph.D. from Bowling Green State University, with a focus on psychology and education. Dr. Russell’s passion for providing support to frustrated teens and weary parents is fueled not only by her professional training and expertise but also by her own experience of raising two complex children.
Key Takeaways
- Executive functioning skills are crucial for teens to become the CEO of their life, skills that help them be in charge, and reach their goals. Time management, self-motivation, task initiation, task completion are all skills that are essential to a teen’s success, however they are not always modeled or coached for them.
- To help teens gain these skills, it’s important to start from a place of empathy and sharing, and guide them to take small steps towards their goals. Sit with them to encourage them, however, do not do the work for them. Let them take on the personal responsibility of managing the task at hand.
- As a parent, our role is to coach them and help them decide what works best for them in accomplishing their goals. There is not a one-way of doing something and your teen may have a different approach than you do. Listen to understand.
- Have your teen identify what their three top priorities are and have a conversation with them about how they want to go about accomplishing their goals. Next you can talk about their smaller goals to help them think through time management, task initiation, and task completion. Map time management on a calendar so they see visually the action steps they need to take.
- We often assume that the executive skills our teens need are something they picked up along the way and know how to do. Some teens do, however there are teens who have not yet learned these skills and that’s developmentally appropriate. We need to teach, coach, and praise them on their ability to learn these important skills just as we did when we taught them to tie their shoes.
- Approach conversations with your teen in a calm and curious way. They learn through your modeling. If you are managing your time and completing tasks in an organized and calm way, they will inherit your skills.
- Teens with learning differences can be delayed in their development to learn and practice these skills. Be patient, provide more support, and recalibrate your expectations. Give them time to become proficient in these new skills.
Sponsored by Gerety Presentations: https://edgerety.com/education/
Resources
- RussellCoaching.com
- DrRussell@russellcoaching.com
Michael Jacobus has been working with teens for over 35 years as a summer camp director. In 2018 he founded Reset Summer Camp to address the needs of kids who found themselves escaping into digital media and gaming in order to avoid the real-world. His program will expand into Canada this summer and has launched an App for teens and their families to help keep them on track, year-round.
Key Takeaways
- What are signs to look out for when we feel our teen may be to-tuned-into digital media? Disengaging from family activities, if they’d rather eat in their room instead of showing up for meals, if their sleep pattern has them up late at night, if their grades are starting to drop.
- Parents can take a healthy approach to digital media by not denying their teen the right to play a game when they are focused on having a healthy balance of life, family, sleep, studies, outdoor activity, and interests beyond digital media.
- It used to be that when parents were young and played games as kids, the game would be over. Games don’t end now so there’s a bottomless spiral to turning them off.
- Teens lose their interpersonal skills and face to face ability to interact when they become to involved with digital media.
- Parents can opt to take all digital media out of their teen’s bedroom so when it’s time for bed, there are no distractions. Buy an alarm clock so they will not wake up by a digital device that will hook them as soon as they wake up.
- Fear of missing out is real for teens. It can cause anxiety, emotional upset, and so much more, however when they find out later what they were worried about, it generally ends up being nothing.
- Attention span in the average teen is down to about 8 seconds, before they are looking for the next stimulus. Limiting their time on digital media will greatly improve that statistic.
- Parents can manage future digital over-dose in their teen by not letting them become a user until they can have a conversation and follow parental guidelines on what the boundaries are for use.
- If your teen is interacting with people they don’t know, set up a zoom call for them to meet and be included in that meeting, along with a parent of theirs.
- Parents need to lead by example. Are they modeling good behavior when using technology or do they model different behaviors. Everyone in the household needs to adhere to the same rules.
- Parents can help their teens find balance away from digital media with practices such as mindfulness, yoga, meditation, physical activity: giving them time to be present in the moment.
Sponsored by Lessons in Leadership: https://varsityleadership.com/
Resources
- Reset Summer Camp website
- The Life Skills App
- Email Michael Jacobus
- Follow on Facebook
- Follow on Instagram
Silen Wellington (they/he) has served as the LGBTQ+ Youth Outreach Coordinator for the Alliance for Suicide Prevention of Larimer County, CO for the last two years. Their work involves training and education, inclusivity consultation, local advocacy, and direct peer support services to LGBTQ+ youth. Silen believes every young person needs a space to explore who they are and be witnessed for their unique gifts. Silen’s background is in psychology and music composition, and they are passionate about mental health, advocacy, and community building.
Key Takeaways
- The more inclusive the environments are that we create, the less likely LGBTQ+ teens will feel isolated and alone
- How to guide your teen to find their communities and support outside the home
- LGBTQ+ teens are constantly looking for signals on whether or not they will be safe in social situations
- When you give your support and offer comfort, LGBTQ+ teens are more likely to come out to you because they feel safe
- Parents often consider that it’s just a phase or something that can be fixed, and that’s not true. That message is invalidating and dismissive.
- Provide a safe place so they can figure out who they are and how they feel
- Be authentic as a parent in sharing your support
- Get knowledgeable as a parent so you can understand their world and engage with them in a positive and supportive way
- Give your teen the power to share with others that they are coming out, when they’re ready
- Don’t be afraid to ask your teen how they would like to be identified; new words and descriptions are evolving, and your teen may be changing the way they want to be addressed. Be patient as they work through it. Approach it with curiosity.
Sponsored by Ed Gerety Education: https://edgerety.com/education/
Resources
- Action Alliance for Suicide Prevention
- The Trevor Project
- Robbie’s Hope Guide for Parents
Natalie Silverstein is an author of two books on kindness and service, a speaker, consultant, nonprofit founder and passionate advocate for family and youth service. She believes that volunteering is not simply a “nice” thing to do, that there are no “random” acts of kindness and that we need to flip the narrative on mandatory service hours. In this episode, we discuss the many benefits of teen service. Natalie will offer tips, tools and inspiration to help parents as they encourage teens to find their passion and purpose through meaningful community service.
Key Takeaways
- Understanding the science behind service (doing good is good for you)
- How to help teens think about marrying their skills/talents/gifts with the social justice issues they care about
- How to motivate teens to do service, and to want to continue this work into adulthood
- Serving others is good for you. Students who volunteer with regularity are less inclined to get involved in risky behavior.
- Time to volunteer; we seem to find time for their activities, and we should be able to find time for volunteering. When we make it a priority, along with their other activities, we can find time for an extra hour a week.
- It can be as simple as looking out for your neighbor, people you know who have a need for some extra help.
- Volunteering is a feel-great activity. It builds self-confidence and satisfaction.
- Teens who volunteer with their friends are more likely to want to continue to do it.
Sponsored by Lessons in Leadership online program: https://varsityleadership.com/
Resources
- Simple Acts Guide
- Follow on Facebook
- Follow on Twitter
- Follow on Instagram
Bryan Ward is a husband and proud father of two adult sons. He is a Marine Corps Veteran and is currently the creator and host of the Dad Up Podcast. Over the past 3 years, Bryan has coached countless fathers on learning tools and strategies in parenting. In this episode, Bryan and Ed talk about how to adapt and encourage self-reliance in your teens. They also focus on how to be a friend to your teen and when to set boundaries. They wade into the complexity of speaking with other parents when their teen’s impact on your teen is potentially harmful.
Key Takeaways
- Don’t take it personally when teens start to learn self-reliance.
- How to let your teen know you’re there for them beyond just saying that.
- What’s the balance between being your teens’ friend and setting boundaries as a parent?
- How to talk with other parents when their teen is doing something harmful to your teen.
- Check in with your teens through text once a day, every day.
Sponsored by “Stand Up for Your Greatness”: Edgerety.com
Resources
- The Dad Up Podcast
Quotes
“Hang tight because trust me, they’re just trying to discover who they are. They come back around.”
“When you’re asking your teens questions, I encourage you to ask them open-ended questions.”
“Worry is always going to happen.”
Cynthia Muchnick is an expert in the college admission process: she got her start in admission offices before opening a private study skills and college counseling business in Southern California, which she ran for over fifteen years. Cynthia is also the co-author of “The Parent Compass”, where she dives in on better ways parents can show up and parent their teens. In this episode, Cynthia shares the importance of asking good questions and then listening to the responses in a present way in order to develop a better relationship with your teen.
Key Takeaways
- How can you be a better listener with your teen?
- There is an art to asking good questions.
-
Ask creative questions to allow your teen to think and not give you back one-worded responses.
-
Before embarking on writing her book, Cynthia didn't know there was a difference between hearing and listening.
- When you ask a question, you have to really listen.
- Did you know listen has the same letters as the word silent?
- It’s so important to redefine success. It shouldn’t all be based on test scores.
-
Cynthia offers some creative ways to engage and hang out and play with your teens.
-
How do you empower your teen to stand up for themselves?
- Ed loves Cynthia’s book. It’s a great read and is highly recommended!
Sponsored by Lessons in Leadership online program: Edgerety.com
Resources
Cindy on LinkedIn
Parentcompassbook.com
The Parent Compass by Cynthia Muchnick
How to Be a Person by Catherine Newman
Quotes:
“We know how to be a good friend or good coworker, but we don’t always apply it to how to be a good parent.”
“We might treat our own worse than we treat others in a very unintentional way.”
“As a parent, let’s start letting our kids have their voices heard and allow them to speak for themselves.”
Dr. Chris Jones is the Principle of Whitman-Hanson Regional High School and is the author of “Seeing to Lead”, which dives into how leaders can enhance student success. Dr. Chris has been an educator for 22 years and in this episode shares why he’s so passionate about teaching today’s youth. You’ll learn why it’s so important to give your teen room to fail, how to teach them to rise to the occasion, and so much more.
Key Takeaways
- Success takes time to build. You must put sweat in.
- Social media doesn’t tell the true story when it comes to success.
- We have to prepare the students for the road ahead.
- Your students will always surprise you. Dr. Chris shares an example of teaching his son how to ride a bike.
- How do you empower your teen not to quit?
- As soon as something seems personal, we get defensive. This is how you can point out a better way for your teen without beating them down for it.
- Positive reinforcement goes a long way!
- Dr. Chris shares a real-time exercise you can do to empower your teen.
- Bring gratitude into your life everyday by saying out loud what you’re grateful for/blessed to have.
- Dr. Chris likes to ask people why they’re so negative. Not to be mean, but to be curious.
- What were some of the positives, for example, of COVID?
Sponsored by Lessons in Leadership online program: Edgerety.com
Resources
Dr. Chris on LinkedIn
Seeing to Lead by Dr. Chris Jones
Mastermind by Daniel Bauer
Raise Your Game by Alan Stein and Jon Sternfeld
Leadership Step by Step by Joshua Spodek, James Foster
Quotes:
“People see success and what they see is one snapshot of time. People often don’t see all the steps that it took to get there.”
“If you keep saving your child, then you’re robbing them of the experience of learning to overcome.”
“Show others they can be more than their current situation.”
Lisa M. Desautels is the Vice President of Student Affairs at Thomas College. Lisa is responsible for the functional areas of counseling services, health services, disability services, leadership development, and more. Transitions can be tough on everybody, not just for your young adult headed off to college. There will be times where they might phone home for a little bit of support or where they might just want to come back home, what should a parent do? Lisa offers some advice.
Key Takeaways
- What do you do if your children get homesick at college?
- When your young adult goes off to college, it’s a transition for the whole family.
- Transitions are tough for everybody, but you can lighten the burden by having these open conversations in the summer.
- Homesickness can come on suddenly for your child. It can hit them when they realize their missing special moments back home.
- What should you do if they’re not getting along with their college roommate?
- You get two types of homesick calls.
- It can be tempting to bail your child out, but the best way through is forward. Ask them questions as to why they feel so lonely and isolated.
- Should parents call the school to add additional support to the teachers/counselors?
- Sometimes teens just need to be reaffirmed that they can make it.
- Remember, we want to teach our children how to problem solve, especially when they’re away from home.
Sponsored by Lessons in Leadership online program: Edgerety.com
Resources
- Connect on LinkedIn
- lisamdp@msn.com
Quotes:
“2/3rds of students feel lonely or home sick at some point.”
“Transitions are tough. Whether it’s to college, moving out, joining the military. At 18, they are beginning to step into this adult world and there’s a lot of unknowns.”
“Allow your teens to problem solve. We are teaching them a skill on problem solving, not just taking the obstacle out of the way.”
Dr. Nate Zinsser, former Director of Performance Psychology at West Point and author of The Confident Mind, shares insights on helping teens navigate the awkward and often scary moments encountered as they step onto the athletic field, the stage, or into the exam room.
Key Takeaways
- How do you instill confidence in your teenager?
- You are a role model to your teens. Are you leading by example?
- Confidence is not a one-time thing. You have to keep working at it.
- When something goes wrong, we tend to focus on the negative and not on the positives.
- Do you compare yourself to others? Do your thoughts beat you up?
- What’s the difference between confidence vs. arrogance?
- You can be confident AND humble.
- It’s okay if you feel nervous. It’s a normal reaction to something that’s important to you.
- Look for evidence around you that supports you, not distracts or hurts you.
- Do vision boards actually work?
- The pursuit of excellence beats us up. That’s just the reality. However, there are tools to keep you pushing forward.
- Dr. Nate answers some quick-fire questions.
- His message on his billboard would be, “Your body does what your brain is full of, be careful how you think.”
- Your thoughts influence everything!
Sponsored by Lessons in Leadership online program: Edgerety.com
Resources
Natezinsser.com
The Confident Mind by Dr. Nate Zinsser
Quotes:
“Your children are sponges; they’re going to soak up what’s around them.”
“Confidence is a choice. It’s not an accident.”
“Everything you’re thinking is having an impact on the sense of certainty, and that has an impact on everything you do.”
Test-Prep Expert Dr. Kelly S. Frindell, Ph.D joins Ed to discuss why your teen should still take the SAT/ACT even though many colleges don’t require the test anymore. She enlightens us on how our Teens can use good test scores to get scholarships, create good study habits, manage test stress and be less afraid of math. For those considering sending their teen to boarding and private school, she tells us everything we need to know about the pros and cons and entrance exams
Key Takeaways
- About Dr. Kelly and her background in test prep.
- Should your teen still take the SAT/ACTs?
- It’s better to have something and not need it, than need it, and not have it.
- You have to know math, grammar, and more.
- Test prep is helping teens fill in the gaps that they’ve missed while away due to COVID.
- What is Dr. Kelly’s approach to test prep?
- The only way to get better at test prep/test patterns is by seeing them a lot.
- Should kids study with music? Does it make it easier to remember?
- How long should your teen study for?
- Why do some students struggle so hard with studying?
- When kids fail, they can have some negative self-talk around it. It’s important to stop this in the tracks.
- What’s the ideal age to work with someone like Dr. Kelly?
Sponsored by Lessons in Leadership online program: Edgerety.com
Resources
Inhousetestprep.com
Dr. Kelly on LinkedIn
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kellyfrindell
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kellyfrindell/
Expert guest was booked via The Expert Bookers: www.expertbookers.com
Quotes:
“It’s better to have something and not need it, than need it, and not have it.”
“People think everything rides on this test. It doesn’t.”
“Test prep is just pattern recognition. There are patterns on these tests and that’s why they’re coachable.”
Shelby Phoenix is a former art teacher and today she teaches children and teens the benefits of yoga to combat their stress and anxiety. During the pandemic, Shelby saw how her students were checked out online and could see how nothing was set up for their success. Undergoing her yoga certification training during the pandemic, Shelby now teaches middle schoolers how to breathe and self-regulate themselves when their days are getting too hectic.
Key Takeaways
- Covid happened and that shakes up a child’s world.
- What is the definition of trauma?
- As a teacher, Shelby saw so many children virtually check out.
- How does yoga improve mental health?
- Yoga teaches kids that you can take in a deep breath and calm down at any time, and you don’t need to rely on substances to get you going.
- Why is it that at a certain point, children give up drawing and doing art?
- You build confidence by failing.
- Mindfulness doesn’t always mean just sitting down on a mat. It can mean being aware of what an energy drink, or sugar, is doing to you.
- Kids need a break and a mental pause in this fast-paced world. It’s no wonder they're anxious all the time!
Sponsored by Lessons in Leadership online program: Edgerety.com
Resources
Yogaandlifecoaching.com/Shelby-Phoenix
Shelby on Instagram
Shelby on LinkedIn
Quotes:
“Covid was a trauma, collectively, for a lot of kids. The kids aren’t coping and the adults aren’t really coping, and then they have to go to school.”
“Yoga and mindfulness gives kids the access to understanding that they have to love themselves before they can love anybody else.”
“Yoga gives children the opportunity to push their boundaries and try new things.”
Dr. Amy Saltzman is a Physician, Mindfulness Coach, Author, former Stanford gymnast, and abuse survivor of covert emotional abuse who is passionate about creating protective prevention programs and establishing comprehensive national policies to end abuse in sports and other community programs. Because of Dr. Amy’s painful past, she’s made it her mission to protect athletes from abuse. Her program, “Spot a Spider”, helps children, teens, and young adults learn about the awful ways a predator can prey on a victim. It not only teaches them to spot an abuser but also shows them how to protect themselves from it. In this episode, Dr. Amy shares some of the ‘innocent’ signs an abuser might use to groom their young victim.
Key Takeaways
- What are the four types of abuse?
- The hardest form of abuse to spot is emotional abuse.
- A sneaky spider or sneaky abuse makes the child feel like they’re special, at first.
- How do you know if your child is being groomed?
- Are you tolerating behaviors from a coach that you wouldn’t otherwise tolerate from a teacher in a classroom?
- Abuse can be subtle and sneaky.
- What are some ground rules parents should have to protect their children?
- Have a conversation with your child before anything happens.
- What can parents do to make sure the school has hired a safe teacher?
- Unfortunately, the sex offender list is incomplete.
Resources
Sponsored by Lessons in Leadership online program: Edgerety.com
Resources
Spotaspider.com/
Stillquietplace.com
Amysaltzman.com
Dr. Amy on LinkedIn
Quotes:
“The data shows that emotional abuse is as harmful or more harmful than physical or sexual abuse.”
“An abuser is going to see if you’re going to hold your ground and stand up for what’s true for you or are you going to lie and let them erode what you know is true over time.”
“It’s the almost invisible abuse that’s the cruelest.”
Jennifer Fraser, PhD, is the Founder of the Bullied Brain. She is a bestselling author and an award-winning educator with a PhD in Comparative Literature. Her online courses and workshops provide dynamic lessons in the impact neuroscience has on personal development and culture change. In her new book, “The Bullied Brain”, Jennifer dives into how bullying affects the brain and how victims of bullies can heal from the trauma they’ve experienced. Bullying goes deeper than hurting someone’s feelings, the brain adapts to these changes in harmful ways. Dr. Jennifer explains how in this week’s episode.
Key Takeaways
- Did you know bullying has a negative effect on your brain?
- What does bullying do to the brain?
- What does fight or flight really look like in the brain?
- Can you heal the brain?
- The rise in teen suicide rates are no joking matter.
- A suicidal brain is a medical problem. This is not normal.
- Children should get a yearly assessment on how well their brain is working.
- One of the best things a child can do is practice mindfulness. Dr. Jennifer explains why.
- It’s never too late to help boost your child’s brain health!
- Active parent involvement plays a big part in your child’s development and resiliency.
Sponsored by Lessons in Leadership online program: Edgerety.com
Resources
https://www.bulliedbrain.com/
Teaching Bullies: Zero Tolerance in the Court or in the Classroom Paperback by Jennifer M Fraser
https://www.facebook.com/BulliedBrain/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/jen-fraser-phd-1466a417/
Quotes:
“It’s not just hurting their feelings, it can actually be doing anatomical harm to the brain; something you can see on a brain scan.”
“The child’s brain is dependent on adults for healthy development.”
“From 2000 to 2018, youth suicide has increased 57%.”
Michael Dansinger, MD, is a weight loss and nutrition expert who advised NBC’s inspirational reality show “The Biggest Loser” for 10 years. He shares his insights and opinions about the global obesity epidemic, popular weight loss diets, weight loss and regain in Biggest Loser participants, and how to teach good eating habits to your teens when they can eat anything they want without consequences for their age.
Key Takeaways
- Dr. Michael shares why he believes the American diet is so unhealthy.
- Teenagers are getting a ton of mixed messages on how to eat.
- When it comes to healthy food, there isn’t a simple answer.
- It’s very easy for parents to be too extreme on both the unhealthy and healthy food spectrum.
- It’s okay to eat treats, but it has to be purposeful and not ‘accidental’ or because you have no choice/other options.
- Your home has to be a place that has mostly healthy foods.
- How do you teach your teen in a way that’s helpful?
- Parents need to negotiate with their teens and get buy-in with their teen on this process.
- Dr. Michael understands that parenting is not always so black and white.
- It’s good to have a consistent eating strategy in your household.
- If your teens get addicted to unhealthy food during these development years, it affects them throughout their adulthood.
- You can get your blood tested, which will provide you with a customized nutrition plan based on your type.
Sponsored by Lessons in Leadership online program: Edgerety.com
Resources
Michaeldansingermd.com/biggest-loser
https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-dansinger-md-8788373/
Bostonheartdiagnostics.com
Quotes:
“For over 50 years, the American diet has been increasingly unhealthy, and this is because we allow food companies to advertise and promote unhealthy foods.”
“It’s all about navigating the ‘gray’ zone (of healthy and unhealthy), which is hard!”
“When a parent eats unhealthy food, it undermines their ability to do what I say, not what I do.”
Elise Knox is a life and wellness coach and a former middle school teacher. With two children of her own, Elise is helping parents and preteen/teen girls get through this challenging time with more connection and ease. Parents might feel like they never have any time to themselves and that they’re pretty much living in survival mode to keep their teens healthy and well. However, this leads to burn out and not showing up as the best parent you can be. In this episode, Elise shares how to make time for yourself and take care of your needs while going through the different stages of parenthood.
Key Takeaways
- Parents often feel like they have no time to themselves.
- What are some of the ways you can get reconnected with yourself?
- After 5 years of being jolted awake to serve her kids, Elise realized she needed to take control.
- What is Elise’s morning practice?
- How do you become more responsive to your team as opposed to reactive?
- Ed noticed himself reacting in the moment instead of taking a breathe and processing his teenager’s request.
- You don’t always need to give your answer right then and there.
- How much should you share with your teen?
- What do you need? Turns out this question is a very challenging one to answer!
- What do you do if you express your needs, and your partner gets upset?
- Under each uncomfortable feeling there’s an unmet need.
- Remember, it’s a different world that your teens are growing up in today.
- What do you do if your teen only wants to connect digitally?
Sponsored by Lessons in Leadership online program: Edgerety.com
Resources
Eliseknox.com
Eliseknox.com/communication
Quotes:
“Life is very busy at all stages of parenthood.”
“Sometimes as parents we think we need to have the answer and give the solution right then and there, but we don’t.”
“Repair is stronger than rupture. When we show our teens that we’re human and we make mistakes, then they know that they can be human and make mistakes.”
Elise Knox is a life and wellness coach and a former middle school teacher. With two children of her own, Elise is helping parents and preteen/teen girls get through this challenging time with more connection and ease. Parents might feel like they never have any time to themselves and that they’re pretty much living in survival mode to keep their teens healthy and well. However, this leads to burn out and not showing up as the best parent you can be. In this episode, Elise shares how to make time for yourself and take care of your needs while going through the different stages of parenthood.
Key Takeaways
- Parents often feel like they have no time to themselves.
- What are some of the ways you can get reconnected with yourself?
- After 5 years of being jolted awake to serve her kids, Elise realized she needed to take control.
- What is Elise’s morning practice?
- How do you become more responsive to your team as opposed to reactive?
- Ed noticed himself reacting in the moment instead of taking a breathe and processing his teenager’s request.
- You don’t always need to give your answer right then and there.
- How much should you share with your teen?
- What do you need? Turns out this question is a very challenging one to answer!
- What do you do if you express your needs, and your partner gets upset?
- Under each uncomfortable feeling there’s an unmet need.
- Remember, it’s a different world that your teens are growing up in today.
- What do you do if your teen only wants to connect digitally?
Sponsored by Lessons in Leadership online program: Edgerety.com
Resources
Eliseknox.com
Eliseknox.com/communication
Quotes:
“Life is very busy at all stages of parenthood.”
“Sometimes as parents we think we need to have the answer and give the solution right then and there, but we don’t.”
“Repair is stronger than rupture. When we show our teens that we’re human and we make mistakes, then they know that they can be human and make mistakes.”
Dr. Walt Karniski is an author and a Developmental Pediatrician trained at Boston’s Children Hospital. He was the Director of Division of Developmental Pediatricians at the University of South Florida for 15 years. He spent the last 20 years developing and operating three private schools for children with ADHD and anxiety disorder. Throughout his career, Dr. Walt has evaluated close to 10,000 children. His new book is ADHD Medication: Does It Work and Is It Safe? (Roman & Littlefield, May 15, 2022). Learn more at: adhdmedicationbook.com
In this episode, Dr. Walt talks about ADHD in teens how it affects them in their adult life.
Key Takeaways
- What is the real definition of ADHD?
- Some children are just not designed to sit still for hours at a time.
- How do you know if someone has ADHD?
- Medication acts as an imposter in the brain. Dr. Walt further explains.
- When examining two brain scans, is there a difference between one with ADHD and one without?
- Is ADHD overdiagnosed?
- There are three indicators how ADHD is a valid neurological condition.
- Adults who have ADHD are more likely to go bankrupt.
- Children with ADHD will have difficulty as adults.
- Dr. Walt sheds light on what’s going on inside a child’s mind who has ADHD.
- ADHD haunts people because it’s taught them that they’re not ‘good’.
- Dr. Walt has helped people of all ages help them get a better handle on their ADHD.
Sponsored by Lessons in Leadership online program: https://varsityleadership.com/
Resources
His new book is ADHD Medication: Does It Work and Is It Safe? (Roman & Littlefield, May 15, 2022).
Learn more at: adhdmedicationbook.com
Quotes:
“ADHD is not a disease. It actually kept us alive and it kept us functioning.”
“There are no neurological differences between children who have ADHD and those who do not.”
“As adults, children with ADHD are more likely to be in car accidents. Adults with ADHD are more likely to change jobs frequently, and more likely to be paid as well than someone without ADHD.”
Dr. Walt Karniski is an author and a Developmental Pediatrician trained at Boston’s Children Hospital. He was the Director of Division of Developmental Pediatricians at the University of South Florida for 15 years. He spent the last 20 years developing and operating three private schools for children with ADHD and anxiety disorder. Throughout his career, Dr. Walt has evaluated close to 10,000 children. His new book is ADHD Medication: Does It Work and Is It Safe? (Roman & Littlefield, May 15, 2022). Learn more at: adhdmedicationbook.com
In this episode, Dr. Walt talks about ADHD in teens how it affects them in their adult life.
Key Takeaways
- What is the real definition of ADHD?
- Some children are just not designed to sit still for hours at a time.
- How do you know if someone has ADHD?
- Medication acts as an imposter in the brain. Dr. Walt further explains.
- When examining two brain scans, is there a difference between one with ADHD and one without?
- Is ADHD overdiagnosed?
- There are three indicators how ADHD is a valid neurological condition.
- Adults who have ADHD are more likely to go bankrupt.
- Children with ADHD will have difficulty as adults.
- Dr. Walt sheds light on what’s going on inside a child’s mind who has ADHD.
- ADHD haunts people because it’s taught them that they’re not ‘good’.
- Dr. Walt has helped people of all ages help them get a better handle on their ADHD.
Sponsored by Lessons in Leadership online program: https://varsityleadership.com/
Resources
His new book is ADHD Medication: Does It Work and Is It Safe? (Roman & Littlefield, May 15, 2022).
Learn more at: adhdmedicationbook.com
Quotes:
“ADHD is not a disease. It actually kept us alive and it kept us functioning.”
“There are no neurological differences between children who have ADHD and those who do not.”
“As adults, children with ADHD are more likely to be in car accidents. Adults with ADHD are more likely to change jobs frequently, and more likely to be paid as well than someone without ADHD.”
Kathryn Yuma is the Development Manager at Hearts & Horses, a therapeutic riding center in Loveland, Colorado. The mission at Hearts & Horses is to promote the physical, cognitive, emotional, and social wellbeing of people with special needs. In this episode, Kathryn talks about the magic of therapeutic riding and why it can be an excellent choice for teens struggling with social and emotional issues, teens at risk, and teens who need physical and occupational therapy.
The natural gait (movement) of the horse stimulates human walking movement in a manner that cannot be replicated mechanically. While riding, participants must constantly make postural adjustments to maintain their balance, which in turn increases their overall balance, orientation, and body awareness. Other benefits include improved muscle tone, posture, range of motion, flexibility, social skills and emotional well-being. In addition, our horses provide a non-judgmental relationship, accepting individuals for who they are regardless of physical, emotional, or social abilities.
Key Takeaways
-
What makes a horse so special?
-
Do you have to love horses to begin riding or working with a horse?
- Hippotherapy is horse interactive therapy services that are a direct medical treatment provided by a licensed physical therapist or occupational therapist and can start as young as age two.
- The Changing Leads Program is designed to help youth-at-risk find friendship, develop trust and form a deep connection through partnering with a horse. The program focuses on teaching transferable skills to enhance personal, school, family, and community relationships through Equine Facilitated Learning.
- Teens and adults who suffer from PTSD have found great healing in horses.
- How does Kathryn structure each program?
- There are 30 horses on the property that various students can work with or grow with as they progress, with riders starting as young as 2 years old.
- It’s very hard to describe the magic and the beauty that comes from horse therapy.
Sponsored by Lessons in Leadership online program: Edgerety.com
Resources
Heartsandhorses.org
Quotes:
“The magical thing about horses, or even animals, is that there is no judgment. They see you as a human being.”
“Teens don’t like to recognize that they have vulnerabilities, and it is really incredible to see what horses can bring out and help them to heal.”
“Every horse is different; they have their own personalities. They’re just like humans; no horse is the same.”
Richard Capriola has been a mental health and substance use counselor for over two decades. He has treated both teens and adults diagnosed with substance use disorders and he is also the author of “The Addicted Child”, a handy parental guide for adolescent substance abuse. In this episode, Richard shares advice on how you can help your teens develop healthier social media habits and how to prevent them from being addicted to their cellphones.
Key Takeaways
- About Richard and his work with teens.
- What seems to be the most popular apps teens are using today?
- Parents might not understand all the available social media apps, but they should take the time to investigate what their teens spend a vast majority of their time on.
- Like anything else, there will always be downsides and parents need to be aware of what these are.
- You should talk to your children about their social media use and what they're posting online publicly.
- How do you help your teen develop healthier social media patterns?
- If you have a teen that’s vulnerable to social anxiety, you have to be proactive with getting them to spend ‘real-life’ time with their friends.
- Check in with your teen and ask them how social media makes them feel. Social media is often filled with unrealistic images.
- Does it make sense for parents to create a false or fake account to follow their teenager on?
- No one likes to have their privacy invaded.
- Honesty is always the best policy.
- Richard shares some research around Facebook usage. Teenagers know they have a problem, but can’t seem to self-regulate their usage.
- You want to clearly communicate to your teen about what it looks like to be responsible with social media.
- Our teens are constantly watching us. Do you have a social media problem too?
- Interested in learning more? Feel free to reach out to Richard!
Sponsored by Lessons in Leadership online program: https://www.EdGerety/Education.com
Resources
Helptheaddictedchild.com
The Addicted Child: A Parent's Guide to Adolescent Substance Abuse by Richard Capriola
Richard’s first podcast episode with Ed
Quotes:
“We need to be curious about the applications our teens are getting into. Really, anything that they’re doing online, because it’s such a different environment than it was 5-10 years ago.”
“You have to find time to at least be curious about what your children are doing.”
“Don’t turn the entire situation of accountability and checking into just spying on your kid. If you start spying on your kid, you’re going to get a negative reaction. No one likes to have their privacy invaded.”
Susan Paterno is the Director of the Journalism Program at Chapman University. Susan is an award-winning writer, reporter, and columnist. Susan’s work has been featured in Forbes, NY Times, Washington Post, and she was a correspondent for the LA Times. She is out with a new book, “Game On: Why College Admission Is Rigged and How to Beat the System”, which details why parents struggle in this area and what to do about it. In this episode, Susan provides hope to parents and students looking to get an education as debt-free as possible.
Key Takeaways
- Is it possible to get a debt-free education?
- After talking with Susan’s immediate friend circle, she realized almost no one understood how to navigate the college admission process.
- When parents see there’s only a 3-4% college acceptance rate, this is not actually the ‘real’ number.
- Before you begin applying to colleges, first find a university that is a good financial fit.
- Elite colleges almost always offer the best tuition discounts. Susan explains further what this really means.
- Susan found out that it was cheaper to send her daughter to Harvard than it was to send her to UC Berkeley.
- What is the likeliness that your child could get an athletic scholarship? 0.1%!
- For many families, they believe an athletic scholarship is their ticket to a debt-free degree. This is a very rare ticket.
- Financial aid means loans. Parents often have a misconception on what this really means.
- Colleges encourage their students to take on private debt, but your family should not have to do that. Be very careful when navigating the world of private debt. Susan knows families who have been stuck with this loan for three generations.
- How do you get additional funding if it's not through private student loans?
- Interested in knowing more? Link to the resources in Susan’s book!
Sponsored by “Lessons in Leadership” program: https://varsityleadership.com/
Resources
Game On: Why College Admission Is Rigged and How to Beat the System by Susan Paterno
Susan on LinkedIn
Susan on Twitter
Quotes:
“The golden ticket is a debt-free degree. Few people can hope for that, but I wrote a book to help families position their search so that they can best get there.”
“Getting into college is not nearly as competitive as people would have you believe.”
“We did not know that elite colleges offered the best financial aid.”
Henry J. Turner is an award-winning high school principal, speaker, and author of “Change The Narrative: How to Foster an Antiracist Culture in Your School”. He is most proud of the collaborative community he works within to empower students to fight hate and bigotry in their school. In this episode, Henry talks about how you can change the narrative within your school and your home and shares the first steps towards a more diverse environment that cultivates acceptance for one another no matter who they are.
Key Takeaways
- No inclusion in your school? You have the power to change it!
- Many school leaders are unsure how to get started.
- If something bad happened in your community, don’t stay quiet. Ask your teens what their thoughts are. Get comfortable talking about it.
- This is an opportunity for you and your child to watch documentaries, news, and more together to further educate yourself on this topic.
- Remember, your teens are growing and exploring and it’s important for parents to be supportive of that.
- What does diversity and inclusion really mean and how can you implement these in schools?
- Some parents feel like it’s too upsetting to even talk about some of the horrible things that happen to our minorities. But, by not talking about it, you’re missing out on a teaching opportunity with your child.
- Henry encourages you to have a ‘multicultural’ event at your school. You get to learn so much about your community, other cultures, and you also get to eat!
Sponsored by Ed Gerety Presentations: https://www.EdGerety.com
Resources
Besproutable.com/teens/
Henryjturner.com
Henry on LinkedIn
Change the Narrative: How to Foster an Antiracist Culture in Your School by Henry Turner
Quotes:
“Teenagers engage the most when they feel like their opinions are valued.”
“Allow their opinion to be their opinion. If they say something you disagree on, keep probing on where they got their information from.”
“Your teens aren’t just listening to you. They are watching you.”
Casey O’Roarty is a positive discipline Trainer and Parent Coach. She hosts the popular parenting podcast, “Joyful Courage”. For the last 20 years, Casey has worked with families as an educator and coach to broaden perspectives on parenthood, behavior and relationships between parents and children. In this episode, Casey offers advice on how you can improve your relationship with your moody teenager and she reminds parents that we really have the power to influence a better relationship with our teen.
Key Takeaways
- A little bit about Casey and her work.
- What are some common mistakes parents make when raising teens?
- Parents often make the mistake that they can explain the world to their children and help them prevent common mistakes from happening.
- Teens need to experience the mistakes themselves.
- Our teenagers don’t care about the laundry, and they don’t necessarily remember what it was like to be a ‘cute kid’ that used to cuddle up to mom.
- As a parent, we influence the dynamic with our own teen.
- What does positive discipline mean?
- Be careful shutting down an idea your teen might have. It could kill their spirit or make them not want to bring their ideas to you in the future.
- How can you help your teen open up?
- We often minimize or forget the experiences our teens are having. We’ve been through so much and this is their first time experiencing ‘life’.
- What happens when your teen ‘disrespects’ you? How do you handle it?
- Casey is an excellent problem solver, but that’s not always what her teen needs. So that’s why she asks first before giving advice.
- Just because you’ve been a teenager once doesn’t mean you know what they’re experiencing.
- You help your teen grow by standing beside them rather than trying to protect them.
- How do you navigate the conversation around college?
Sponsored by Stand Up for Your Greatness! Edgerety.com/education
Resources
Besproutable.com/teens/
Casey on LinkedIn
Casey on Instagram
Quotes:
“We look at our kid’s behavior and we immediately believe we’re doing something wrong, and that’s not always true.”
“Being more experienced doesn’t mean we actually know better.”
“Our relationships with our partner, with our friends, aren’t perfect either. We have our opinions and our judgements, and the relationship we have for each teen is also going to be different.”
Alena Cirello uses a person-centered approach in helping her clients get the breakthroughs they’re seeking. As a Certified Hypnotherapist and the Owner of Center for Self-Healing Arts, Alena creates unique strategies for her clients to self-actualize their future. In this episode, Alena breaks some common myths about hypnosis and explains how it can really help you and your teen tap into achieving your goals.
Key Takeaways
- A little bit about Alena and her background in hypnotherapy.
- There are so many misconceptions about hypnotherapy. What is it exactly?
- Alena can’t ‘break into your mind’ and manipulate you into robbing a bank.
- Alena helps people with their mind and body connection.
- How can hypnosis help teens and parents?
- Hypnosis is not a quick fix. Hypnosis is a supportive tool to treatment.
- How does hypnosis work? Alena breaks down her process.
- Alena helps relieve a bit of stress going on in her teen client’s lives.
- Alena believes in a collaborative approach.
Sponsored by Stand Up for Your Greatness! Edgerety.com/education
Resources
Selfhealingarts.net
Alena on LinkedIn
Quotes:
“I cannot give you suggestions that are not within your belief system. I cannot force any beliefs on you.”
“Hypnosis increases the mind and body connection. It helps you feel the mind and body connection.”
“Hypnosis only works if you have an open mind. We tend to think hypnosis is like a quick fix.”
Chetana Parmar, Advanced Yoga & Meditation Teacher, has over 20 years of experience in sustainability and environmental issues and also offers guided meditation sessions to organizations. Chetana is a Meditation Instructor, Climate Activist, and Sustainability Consultant. In this week’s episode, she talks about some of the benefits of taking a pause throughout your day and how you can instill good meditation practices in your teens.
Key Takeaways
- What are some of the benefits of meditation?
- It’s all about taking small moments out of your day to be conscious of your wellbeing and your space. You can start by taking small breaths at the stop light!
- What do the impacts of focusing on your breath have on the brain?
- Wouldn’t it be great if teachers took a moment to help students breath and help them reset for the next day?
- How do you get started on a meditation practice? Do you need a teacher?
- A good gentle reminder is to try to take a deep breath in every time you walk through a doorway.
- Tim Ferris, a well-known entrepreneur, found that 80%+ of his podcast interviewees all had a mindfulness practice.
- Teens model what their parents do. If you have a good practice, they’ll follow suit.
- You don’t need to dedicate massive amounts of time to this. If you have a hectic day, find 2 seconds to take a breath in and a breath out.
Sponsored by Youth Leadership Lessons: https://varsityleadership.com/
Resources
Chetana on LinkedIn
Chetana on Twitter
Exeterpoweryoga.com
Quotes:
“Notice your breath. How does it feel when you take a deep breath in?”
“Throughout the day, just focus on your breath 2-3 times.”
“You can meditate anywhere. Just notice your breath. There are so many ways you can bring your presentness into being.”
Joani Geltman has over 30 years of experience working with parents, children, schools, and community groups. She is also a parenting coach, college professor, and public speaker. In this episode, Joani share insights from her book, “A Survival Guide to Parenting Teens”, simple, concrete practical tips useful in those daily moments of stress as a parent when you wish you had the "right thing to do and the right thing to say”!
Key Takeaways
- Have you ever asked, “What were you thinking?” to your teen?
- The teenage brain is still growing, and parents often forget that their teen lacks experience.
- Parents are looking at their teens from an adult brain.
- Your consequences, you grounding them, is nowhere in their brain when they’re being impulsive.
- Telling your child not to do something is not a strategy.
- Small children respond okay with a voice of authority. In adolescence, this backfires.
- All family members are going through major transitions in their life simultaneously.
- What can you do if you’re having a fight with your teen?
- Teens just want you to acknowledge what you’re feeling.
- How can you talk to your teens about safety?
- As a parent, sometimes you can preface by saying, “I wouldn't be your mom/dad if I didn’t ask this...” to help your teen understand that you care.
Sponsored by Vermont Student Assistance Corporation “Gear UP”: https://www.vsac.org/
Resources
Joanigeltman.com
A Survival Guide to Parenting Teens by Joani Geltman
Quotes:
“Kids feel before they think. It’s a brain that’s a volcano waiting to erupt.”
“It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. With teens, that’s especially important.”
“Your teens might grumble, but you’ve now planted a seed with it; their safety.”
Molly is a College Facilitator and helps teens develop the skills they need to be ready to leave the nest and become independent adults. Molly is focused on helping teens not just take a bunch of classes, but find their passion in life. In this episode, Molly shares what she is thinking about when she is working one-on-one with her students, the importance of taking a step to instill and teach the power of failure, and so much more.
Key Takeaways
- About Molly and the work she does in education.
- We are doing teens a disservice because we are not teaching them the skills they need to become successful.
- It can’t just be about the results; it has to be about the process.
-
The military has often reported that teens today lack perseverance and leadership skills This gave Molly a clue on what she had to help teens with.
-
Molly helps teens work with their athlete coach and guides them on how to have the right communication with them.
- It’s important to understand what makes your teen passionate about certain subjects. This will help guide them towards a sustainable and fulfilling career.
- Teachers often teach the unit, teens take the test, and then move on. There are so many skills to be learned in that process.
- How do you develop grit and resilience?
-
How do you create a great relationship with your teens? Be real, be honest, and be open to saying “I’m sorry”.
-
When it comes to college, it’s not about where your teen goes, it’s about what they make of it.
Sponsored by Youth Leadership Lessons: https://varsityleadership.com/
Resources
Hoosacvalley.org
“The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” book by Stephen Covey
“It's the Student, Not the College” book by Kristin White
Molly on LinkedIn
Quotes:
“A lot of times we miss the boat when kids fail. We just continue to move on as opposed to using that as a way to teach kids how to fail in life.”
“It’s shifting the narrative to ask your teen what makes them feel alive? What do you really love to do?”
“Kids know when they fail. It’s not black and white [to teach resilience]. We just need to have the conversation on what they learned from the experience.”
Richard Capriola has been a mental health and substance use counselor for over two decades. He has treated both teen and adults diagnosed with substance use disorders including over a decade as a counselor at Menninger Clinic in Houston Texas. Richard is the author of “The Addicted Child”, a handy parental guide for adolescent substance abuse.
In this episode Richard will discuss adolescent substance abuse, how the pandemic changed teen substance abuse and warning signs every parent, teacher and coach should know about.
Key Takeaways
- How has the pandemic affected teen substance abuse?
- Why did drug use go down during the pandemic? Children became isolated at home.
- What drugs are teens using right now?
- Richard sees vaping on the raise among teens.
- Vape devices can easily be hidden, so parents and teachers might not be aware of its use.
- Why are teens using substances in the first place? The biggest reason cited was to help with their anxiety.
- We often spot the substance issue first, but we do not recognize the underlying emotional issue that the child is trying to cure or resolve.
- How should parents respond when their teens don’t think it’s a big deal?
- Why do people do drugs?
- Teens run the potential of having more risk in their brains than a fully developed brain.
- What are some of the warning signs that a teen is doing drugs?
- What’s a healthy boundary when it comes to trusting your teen vs. verifying what they’re saying?
- If you find something alarming in their room, try not to attack them. Instead, ask proactive questions.
- The parent also needs support. You cannot do this alone if your teen is starting to have substance abuse issues.
- There is hope! Treatment plans do work!
- Drug tests are not foolproof.
- Richard talks about his book, “The Addicted Child”.
Sponsored by Youth Leadership Lessons: https://varsityleadership.com/
Resources
Helptheaddictedchild.com
The Addicted Child: A Parent's Guide to Adolescent Substance Abuse by Richard Capriola
Quotes:
“It doesn’t do me any good to treat a teen for marijuana use if I can’t help that teen with their anxiety. They’re going to continue to medicate.”
“Teens are interested in the brain and how it works, so I would teach them about the brain, and then I would introduce how drugs work in the brain.”
“Build a support system for yourself too. You’re going to need help and support too, not just your teen. This is going to be a journey.”
Melinda Shofner has been a high school counselor for the past 20 years and specializes in College and Career Counseling. She helps students make the best decision possible in their college of choice, what a good fit really means, and she also helps students prepare for transitioning from life at home to college. In this episode, Melinda talks about scholarships, the implications of student loans, and additional resources students can tap into.
Key Takeaways
- There’s so much anxiety around choosing the right college for your teen.
- Picking the right college is like teaching your child how to drive.
- How many colleges should you be applying to?
- What happens if your teen gets accepted into a college you can’t afford?
- Is your teen considering taking out student loans? Sit down with them to do the numbers.
- Melinda believes it’s important to look at school retention rates. How many of these young students are dropping out, and why?
- What makes a good entrance essay?
- There are so many changes happening during the first year of college that many students do not realize or are not prepared for it all. It’s important to have that conversation early with them.
- Melinda shares how you can set the right college expectations for your teen.
- How can young adults and parents get scholarships?
- How do merit-based scholarships work?
- What types of resources can parents and students tap into?
Resources
Email Melinda: Melinda.D.Shofner@gmail.com
Sponsored by Stand Up for Your Greatness! Edgerety.com/education
Quotes:
“Their dream school is going to be tough when it comes to admission cost. When there’s a $10,000 difference in between schools, that’s actually a $40,000 difference over the four years.”
“Your teen is going to be a young adult. They’re going to be need to own their credit and make plans for living on their own.”
“So often the message is that college is “the best time of your life”, and when it’s not, you think it’s you. We have to be really honest with our teen that it’s not perfect all the time.”
Dr. John B. Molidor, CEO & President of the Brain Based Leadership Institute, works with people to better understand how their brains work. He guides his clients towards using their brains more efficiently and to help them make better decisions. In this episode, he explains why it can be so frustrating working with your teen as they begin to enter adulthood. Your brain doesn’t fully form until you’re 25 years old, so it’s important for parents to practice a bit of grace when your child makes illogical mistakes.
Key Takeaways
- Why do teenagers do some of the most ridiculous things sometimes?
- Chances are that teenagers don’t really have a good reason for some of the actions they do. Their brain is not fully formed.
- We’re asking our teenagers to grow up faster than what their brains will allow. Brains don’t fully form until about 25 years old, however our teenagers can start driving at 16.
- How can we get our teens to follow simple directions? It’s not always them being defiant!
- How can parents help their teens better develop a healthy brain?
- The brain is the only thing in our bodies that can change and get rewired.
- Let’s talk about the importance of sleep for your teen.
- Parents also need to follow by example and practice good sleep hygiene.
- You can teach an old dog new tricks! The brain is always learning.
- What routine should you have after you’ve learned something new?
- Why is hydration so important? The brain is made up of water!
- Dr. Molidor offers additional resources if you’d like to learn more about the brain!
- The brain and the body really needs sunshine. Even if you live in a gloomy place, make an effort to get out and be in the sun.
Sponsored by Stand Up for Your Greatness! Edgerety.com/education
Resources
Dr. Molidor on LinkedIn
Matt Walker’s books
Brain Rules by John Medina
Seven And A Half Lessons About The Brain by Lisa Feldman Barrett
Quotes:
“Let them nap during the day instead of having them sleep till 1pm. Sleep consistency is important.”
“The beauty of some of this is by saying to your teenager, ‘You need to do this’, you start to examine your own biases and things that have been ingrained in you and then you can ask, ‘Is this true?’”
“You can’t teach an old dog new tricks? That’s wrong. You can teach an old dog new tricks.”
Ashley Keough is a Clinical Social Worker, Psychotherapist, and Speaker practicing in New Hampshire. Ashley has been in this field of work for the last 20 years and helps her clients own their story. In this week’s episode, Ashley shares some scary stats about the rise of suicides in our teens today, and what parents can do to help ease the distress of adulthood as your teen goes through these tough developmental changes.
Key Takeaways
- How do you know if your teen is suicidal? What are the signs?
- Suicide rates are on the rise. Why is that?
- Suicide is the second leading cause for adolescence.
- If your teen has shifted from having a bunch of friends to having no one, that should be a concern.
- If you see risk factors in your teen, how do you then go about having a conversation with them?
- It’s okay to tell your teens that you are concerned.
- What happens if your teen has admitted suicidal thoughts?
- Whatever you do, don’t tell them to suck it up, or that they’re just doing it for attention.
- What happens if one of your child’s friends is self-harming?
- Ashley encourages parents to work with the school and get support and awareness around this issue.
- Once your child turns 18, everything changes. This is where connection with your child is really key.
- How do you validate your teens feelings and not be dismissive of them?
- Ashley shares examples of what parents can say to their teen to comfort them.
Sponsored by “Youth Leadership Lessons” https://varsityleadership.com/
Resources
Ashley on Instagram
Ashely on Facebook
Quotes:
“Therapy is about collaboration, partnership, and helping people acknowledge the growth and power inside them.”
“The rates of death by suicide in the United States have risen 57.4% over the last ten year period.”
“Teens are really smart and they’re listening for your authenticity.”
Peter Bielagus is a Financial Speaker and the Author of three books on money management. In this week’s episode, he explores whether it makes sense for your teen to attend college. He also answers the question on what parents can do if their teen doesn’t want to go to college; the options they have to pursue education; and the types of conversation you should be having with your teen around money and education.
Key Takeaways
- Going to college to get good grades is an outdated concept. A student today needs to take advantage of more than just when they’re at a university.
- It’s too expensive to just go to college just for the degree, and nothing more.
- What do you do when your teen doesn’t want to go to college?
- 20 years ago, college was an experience. Today, it is an investment and students need to be very cautious on how they use that investment in time.
- There are different approaches to take in regard to furthering your teen’s education. College is no longer the only ‘best option’.
- Growing up, Ed never had the expectation that his parents would pay for college. Today, it seems to be the gold standard. Peter weighs in on his thoughts.
- There is such a thing as student loans, but there is no such thing as retirement loans. Parents need to prioritize their retirements first.
- Do not sacrifice for your teen when it comes to saving for their college fund.
- Does it make sense for your teen to take a gap year?
- What’s too big of a student loan? Should parents encourage their teen to go to an ivy league school?
- In the finance world, numbers don’t mean anything.
- Parents need to remember that debt reduces opportunities.
Sponsored by “Youth Leadership Lessons” https://varsityleadership.com/
Resources
https://peterbspeaks.com/
Peter on LinkedIn
Quotes:
“Is college worth it? The answer really is going to be, that’s up to you and your teen.”
“Parents saving for their teen’s college education should probably be the last priority that parents have in their overall financial plan.”
“What debt does, at base, is it shrinks our opportunities.”
Coach Jim Johnson has over 30 years of experience developing winning high-school basketball teams, including 428 career victories. One of Jim’s career highlights was working with an autistic boy named Jason McElwain, nicknamed J-Mac, who scored 20 points in the game’s last 3 minutes. Jim leans on his extensive experience and shares the power of leadership, coaching others, and getting teams to think bigger in this week’s episode.
Key Takeaways
- A little bit about Jim and his story with Jason, a boy with autism.
- Jim learned as a coach that if you really want to get the most out of your team, you have to be a better listener.
- Jim shares why senior nights are so dear to his heart.
- How many times do people stop after one failed attempt? Jim is so proud that Jason led by example and had the courage to keep going.
- Good leadership is when you can shine a light on someone else!
- One of the things you can control is your attitude. Jim reminds his teens of this constantly. Focus on what you can control.
- Remember, attitudes are contagious!
- Before, you were lucky to get one media reporter at a high school game, but Jason’s story attracted a lot of media attention.
- If you want to make your dreams come true, the best way to do that is to make other people's dreams come true.
- Jim explains his coaching style and why it’s important to always respect the individual player, even if you disagree.
- What are some of the hallmarks of a good leader?
- When you first build trust, great results come after that!
Sponsored by Stand Up for Your Greatness! Edgerety.com/education
Resources
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmaIsE2nLZk
Coachjimjohnson.com
Jim on LinkedIn
Quotes:
“Jason’s mother is balling her eyes out and she gives me a big hug and says, “Coach, this is the best gift you could have ever given my son.”
“One of the things about leadership is when you can shine the light on someone else. That’s what it’s all about and the team did it that night with Jason.”
“If we are going to be as good as we possibly can be, we need to be outstanding in the things we can control.”
Description
Eric Chester is America’s most celebrated ‘teen work ethic guru’, an acclaimed in-the-trenches workforce researcher and thought leader. As a former high school teacher and coach-turned motivational speaker for youth, Eric has visited thousands of high schools and colleges to help prepare students for success in part-time jobs all the way through to full-time careers. Eric discusses how you can help your teen lead a fulfilling work life and how to navigate the challenges they might face when they take on their very first job.
Key Takeaways
- Teenagers struggle to find success in their first jobs.
- Companies are frustrated by the lack of work ethic in their young hires.
- Our culture and lifestyles have changed which makes it difficult for our youth to keep up with a regular 9-5 schedule.
- How parents talk about work can make teens see it as the enemy.
- At the same time, teens are hearing mixed messages. ‘Find a job you love so much that you’d do it for free.’
- Parents often don’t want their teen to get stuck in a low-entry kind of job, which means they discourage their teen from even applying in the first place. However, there are a lot of great lessons to be learned from entry-level jobs!
- In this economy, your teen can find work!
- How does a parent instill values in their teens?
- How do you teach your teen how to be reliable at work?
- You don’t want to get a job just to ‘pay the bills’. A job, the work you do, can be so much more fulfilling than that.
Sponsored by
Resources
- https://ericchester.com/
- https://workethic.org/
- Reviving Work Ethic (Amazon link) - shorturl.at/xzQRV
Quotes:
“If you try to protect your teen from the world of work, you’re going to delay their ability to be successful in the workplace.”
“A parent can’t force a teen to work, but they can create the conditions where the teen says, ‘I need to earn some scratch.’”
“Reliability is not something that you do, it’s something that you are.”
Jason Holder is the Founder of Adventure Lore and has taught adventure programs to teens since the early 80s. He is a General Practitioner who primarily focuses on and works with ADHD, anxiety, depression, adjustment disorders, and family work. Jason is also the author of two books in Adventure Therapy and Adventure Activities. In this episode, Jason shares how you can keep a strong bond with your teen as they go through a very rebellious time.
Key Takeaways
- For most teens and all the way up to people in their early 20s, growing up is such a complex time.
- Why are teens so rebellious? Jason shares a lesson in chemistry and psychology.
- What mistakes do parents make when trying to build a deeper bond with their teenager?
- Despite wanting more connection and going out and creating fun memories, teenagers just seem to want to play video games all the time? Jason offers advice on how to overcome this.
- How do you find the balance between being a parent vs. just being their friend?
- If you don’t have time now, you’re really not going to have time later when they’re out of the home. Now is the time to build these memories with your children.
- Life is not about what happens to us, it’s about how we adapt to the challenges. Our goal as parents is to teach children how to persevere.
- When is it time to go to a counselor or have your teen go see one?
- Jason is worried that with the pandemic and technology, children will not know how to interact with each other when they come back to social settings.
Sponsored by Stand Up for Your Greatness! Edgerety.com/education
Resources Adventurelore.org
Quotes:
“Every parent wants to have a strong connection with their teenager, and yet it’s one of the most challenging and frustrating things for parents to be able to do.”
“A good parent is a friend of the child as well. It’s a huge factor. Being able to play with your kids and have fun with your kids is critically important.”
“We teach kids how to persevere. Things aren’t always as easy, but we have to learn how to adapt.”
Christy Keating is the Founder of The Heartful Parent, a Certified Parent Coach & Educator, and a licensed attorney and former prosecutor of 20 years with an expertise in the prosecution of sexually violent predators. Christy loves helping parents experience more love, joy, and connection in their families with The Heartfelt Parent Coaching Programs.
In this episode. Christy talks about how to talk about consent with your children. She covers everything your teen could say if they face rejection to setting healthy boundaries with others on what they’re ready and not ready to do. Unfortunately, with the internet, if parents aren’t having these conversations, our teens will find an unhealthy version of it elsewhere.
Key Takeaways
- How do we teach our children about consent?
- What is the definition of consent?
- If your teen doesn’t feel comfortable asking for consent, then they should not be doing it.
- What can your teen do when they experience rejection?
- On the other side of this, how can you teach your child to safely say no?
- How do we help build the confidence in our children to say no?
- Currently pornography makes up for 1/3rd of all sites and searches on the internet.
- All of our teens will see pornography by the time they hit college.
- If we don’t have the conversation at home, our children will be learning about it on the internet.
- What parental filtering systems should parents use?
- You shouldn’t just have ‘a conversation’ and forget about it. You have to have many small 1-5 minute conversations about what’s healthy and what’s not in adult relationships.
- According to a Harvard study, children want to hear more from you!
- Remember, it’s better to start now than to never start.
- What happens when your teen just refuses to have conversations?
Sponsored by Stand Up for Your Greatness! Edgerety.com/education
Resources
Theheartfulparent.com
Theheartfulparent.com/consent
Bark.us
Mcc.gse.harvard.edu
Quotes:
“I always say to kids, if you’re not able to talk about it, then you’re not ready to do it.”
“Our teens need to understand that ‘no’ is a complete sentence.”
“Consent can’t be a one-time conversation. It has to be ongoing.”
Harriet Turk has spent the last two decades in education and business. In the education sector, Harriet developed and implemented multi-million dollar programs for local and state level educational systems as the Youth Programs Coordinator for the Mississippi Governor’s Office of Highway Safety. In this episode, Harriet shares how to build a deeper connection with your teen, even when it feels like they ‘never talk’!
Key Takeaways
- The teen years are a very confusing time. They need a parental figure to connect with them.
- How do you listen to your teen when they’re refusing to talk or share about their lives?
- You can’t set a scheduled time to talk to your teen. You really have to work on their timeline.
- As parents, we want our children to come to where you are. You want them to hang out when you’re cooking, or doing something in the living room, but the best place for connection is by going to their room and where they are.
- Look at your child’s rooms, what are they interested in right now? Can you start a dialogue with them about it?
- Harriet has a Spotify family account and she can see what her son is listening to at the time and can connect with him that way.
- Instead of asking, ‘why’, ask ‘what makes you feel that way’. It helps open up the dialogue much more effectively.
- Remember to be careful about what you say about your ex-spouse when you’re with your children.
- You can’t control the behaviors; you can only control your thoughts.
- What do you do when you get stuck with your teen?
- Consider writing a letter to your teen to help express your feelings in a healthy way.
- If you get frustrated or angry, remember to apologize and to also explain why you might have gotten overprotective.
- How do you help build your child’s self-esteem up?
Sponsored by Stand Up for Your Greatness! Edgerety.com/education
Resources
Harrietturk.com
Harriet on Instagram
Harriet on Twitter
Quotes:
“When I started going where he was, it seemed our communication opened up more.”
“Adults connect with our minds and then our hearts follow. Kids start with their hearts and how they make them feel, and then their mind follows.”
“I know I’m not going to be the only influence, so who are they gravitating to, and why?”
Christa D'Amico, CAGS, NCSP, is a NH Licensed School Psychologist who works at Winnacunnet High School in Hampton, NH. Ms. D'Amico partners with families, teachers, school administrators, and other professionals to create a safe, healthy, and supportive learning environment that strengthens connections between home, school, and the community.
Ms. D'Amico understands that parents want to help their teens and help them with their problems, but that might not always be the best approach. In this episode, Christa shares tips and advice on how parents can teach their children to be more resilient and self-aware when they're managing times of high stress.
Key Takeaways
- How does safety and relationships play a key part in managing a teen's feeling of being overwhelmed?
- Teens get stuck in the emotional side of their brain. Adults are typically able to move out of this area more effectively.
- It's our job as parents and teachers to help teens feel safe.
- We shouldn't underestimate the impacts COVID and isolation has had on our children.
- The three ways to help your teen with overwhelm is: Help them feel safe, make sure they feel heard, and notice their distress.
- As parents we want to protect our child no matter what, but there's a fine balance on how to best do this.
- When having tough conversations, remember to talk less and listen more. Try not to fix anything. Just listen to understand.
- How do we help our teen become more self-aware?
- Some children struggle with regulating their emotions. It's important to identify this early on and be attuned to their needs.
Sponsored by Stand Up for Your Greatness! Edgerety.com/education
Resources
Smart but Scattered series
Quotes:
“When we're feeling stressed and when we're feeling fear, we are vulnerable. We have no capacity to think straight.”
“When you're having important conversations, make sure you talk less and listen more.”
“Where are your strengths and weaknesses? We all have them and there’s nothing wrong with them.”
Dr. Marlene Bizub, Psy.D., has been working in the court system for the last 23 years and has seen couples go through it all; including using their children to hurt the other parent. What can you do to prevent a situation like this if you're separating from your partner or if your child is currently spending their time in separate households? Dr. Marlene has some timeless advice on how to act in the best interest of your children.
Key Takeaways
- What do teens really need when their parents live in separate households?
- What are some common mistakes parents make with their teen?
- Don't vent your partnership problems to your child!
- You could unintentionally be using your teen as a therapist. This puts a huge burden on their shoulders.
- What can you share with your teen?
- Remember, your teen isn't an adult yet developmentally. You need to give positive reinforcements that this is not their fault.
- Don't use your child as the messenger.
- Please avoid litigating parenting time.
- The decision about what to do with the kids does not need to be made by the court.
- It's so difficult to navigate this parenting space when living in different households. Don't make it more difficult than it needs to be.
- Your lawyers aren't there for the best interests of your children, they're there to protect you!
Sponsored by Stand Up for Your Greatness! Edgerety.com/education
Resources
www.Marlenebizub.com
drmarlene@marlenebizub.com
Cell: (719) 641-5403
Quotes:
“The message you can convey is that it's okay to love that other parent.”
“A parent going through a separation or divorce is often bitter or resentful. What should you share? Not a lot...unless it's positive.”
“We don't send messages through the children. They are not our messengers.”
Jessica Weissbuch is the founder of Brave Trails, a summer camp for LGBTQ youth to build self-esteem, leadership skills, and life-long friends. She is a licensed marriage and family therapist and focused her academic life on studying LGBTQ+ youth affirmative therapy practices. In this week’s episode, Jessica talks about how parents can be an LGBTQ ally even if your child is out or not. She also discusses ways to bring the conversation to your household so that there is acceptance and love for who your child is, and for who they may love.
Key Takeaways
- How do you position yourself as an ally for the LGBTQ community?
- If your child is out, how do you build a deeper connection with them?
- Asking your child if they have a [opposite gender] relationship can make them feel uncomfortable. Maybe they’re just not attracted to the opposite sex yet.
- Get yourself a positive LGBTQ therapist. Don’t be afraid to interview a couple of them to get the right one!
- Isolation is a big thing you want to avoid. And to avoid that, you have to do research and make sure the people around your child are supportive and understanding.
- How do you find the right LGBTQ resources?
- Look for inspiring LGBTQ role models. These are people who are walking their walk and speaking their truth.
- How do you create a safe space for your child to come out or be able to express their attractions?
- Sometimes when a child comes out, it is such a shock because they’re so ‘stereotypically’ female or male.
- Parents do have a support group to better understand and show up for their LGBTQ child!
- Jessica shares a little bit about Camp Brave Trails and why it’s been such a positive place for youth.
Sponsored by Stand Up for Your Greatness! Edgerety.com/education
Resources
- Bravetrails.org
- Queer as a Five-Dollar Bill Book by Lee Wind
- Pflag.org
Quotes:
“Isolation is the root of a lot of anxiety and depression.”
“Representation matters. When I was young and coming out, there was no one in the media that was out and open.”
“Be patient with yourself as parents. As long as you are trying, as long as you’re there to support, give yourself some grace.”
Kerry Stutzman is a Family Therapist and Parenting Instructor passionate about teen suicide prevention. The numbers in teen suicides are rising and it’s frightening to feel so helpless as a parent! What can parents do to better support their teen’s mental health journey? Kerry has some tips on how to reduce internal teen conflict within your household and be supportive of your teen’s development.
Key Takeaways
- Kerry was heartbroken when she looked at teen suicide rates.
- When there’s intense parental conflict, the risk of suicide increases.
- Kerry understands parents don’t want to have intense conflict with their teens. They often are just scared.
- Teen suicide went up 58% from 2017 to 2019 in Colorado, where Kerry is from. In the US as a whole, it went up 25% over the last three years.
- Youth suicide has a big ripple effect. It’s not only devastating families, but it’s impacting their friends and communities as well.
- What can parents do about this?
- What do teens wish their parents knew at this time?
- Teens want to be heard, but parents are so focused on talking more than listening.
- The trick about talking less and listening more is that sometimes kids just don’t talk.
- Some teens feel like they can’t go to their parents when they’ve made a mistake. With no one to talk to, it burdens them.
- Practicing grace and patience goes a long way when trying to educate and talk to your child. Kerry used a physical trick by placing a weighted pad on her lap to keep herself grounded.
- How do you have a closer relationship with your child? How do you show them you care?
- Developmentally, your child needs to reject you. As a parent, it’s your job to not reject them.
- Want to know more about Kerry’s survey?
Sponsored by Stand Up for Your Greatness! Edgerety.com/education
Resources
Kerrystutzman.com
Kerrystutzman.com/bridge-the-gap
Kerry on LinkedIn
Quotes:
“40% of youth suicides are preceded by intense parental conflict.”
“Suicide is the second leading cause of death of youth ages 10 to 24 in the U.S. The numbers are awful.”
“Teens shared, “I wished my parents would talk less and listen more.”
Cynthia Klein is an Educator, Coach, Speaker, and Author. Through her work, Cynthia helps parents of children from age five to thirty. Cynthia understands how frustrating it is when your teen doesn’t let you in on their day-to-day life. Is it just because your teen is ‘going through a phrase’? No! It’s on you to open the lines of communication and learn how to truly listen to your teen. Cynthia shares how to develop a closer relationship with your child in this week’s episode.
Key Takeaways
- How do you make your teen feel heard and understood when they’re opening up to you?
- When should a parent first start to create an open dialogue with their teen?
- You first need to determine if you want to work with them, or if you want to be an authority figure with them.
- You can’t be the authority figure all the time, especially if you want your teen to open up and trust you.
- Your teen is still developing, so it’s important to create safety around good decision making.
- Parents often think they know best, although this maybe true, it sends the wrong message to teenagers.
- As a parent, start getting good at recognizing communication blocks. Is your child talking more or are they shutting down when you chime in with your opinion?
- Children often say they’re ‘fine’ because it’s a safer option than actually sharing how they are feelings.
- Practice non-judgmental listening. It takes confidence and trust in your teen.
- When you notice you have used a communication block with your teen, use this opportunity to apologize and try again.
- When you placate your child, it can feel like you’re being a cheerleader, but it really rubs off on them as being condescending and sarcastic.
- Another thing parents unconsciously do when their child is sharing something, as a way to relate, they share a bit about their past, but it ends up turning the problem around back on to the parent, and the child feels unheard.
- How do you communicate with your child via texting and social media?
- No matter what, have a weekly family meeting where you talk about the positives and the negatives.
- Is this something you want to work on? Tell your child to help you out! Let them know you’re learning ‘how to just listen’.
Sponsored by:
www.vsac.org
Resources:
Cynthia’s Website: https://www.bridges2understanding.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cynthia.klein.bridges
Free chapter from her book Ally Parenting – You can keep video games from overtaking your family -https://ally-parenting.com/free-chapter
Allyparenting.com
Ally Parenting by Cynthia Klein
Cynthia on LinkedIn
Quotes:
“Your teenager can end up feeling defeated because you’re trying to tell them to feel differently.”
“Giving unwanted advice, interrogating, and placating are three major, major communication blocks.”
“Everyday, offer two minutes of silence and listening, and don’t comment later on what they said.”
Coach Sheri Gazitt is the Founder of Teen Wise and Mom Wise. She is an advocate of teen mental wellness and helps parents navigate the ups and downs of adolescence. In this week’s episode, Sheri talks about how to not get suckered into peer pressure as a parent. It’s easy to compare your child’s progress with other children in your community, but that extra stress can really affect the critical developmental years of your child!
Key Takeaways
- There is such a thing as parent peer pressure.
- What are your parenting values?
- Sheri believes every parent should be compassionate and should have it as one of their values.
- It’s easy to compare your child’s progress with other children. The parent journey is always going to be different.
- What we are feeling and experiencing also gets passed down to our children.
- How do you stay true to your values when you’re around competitive parents?
- Nobody puts their parenting struggles on Facebook.
- How do you listen to your own intuition as a parent and not get swayed by friends and family?
- Remember, there is no one size fits all to parenting.
- You’re doing the best that you can. We make mistakes. Let’s just learn from them.
- People aren’t perfect, but when you love and care for each other, you work together to make things right.
- When you’re parenting out of fear, you’re parenting from a very primal place and that’s not healthy.
- Forget what college your child is going to. Instead, foster an environment of positive learning.
- Sheri shares the difference between expectations vs. values.
- At the end of the day, your children have to find their own path in life.
Sponsored by Stand Up for Your Greatness! Edgerety.com/education
Resources
Teenwiseseattle.com
Momwise.club
Enough As She Is by Rachel Simmons
Brainstorm by Daniel Siegel
Quotes:
“What are your values? They’re different for everybody.”
“Everybody wants their kid to feel loved. They want their kid to be happy, and their mental health to be good.”
“We have to parent from a place of love and turn off the noise.”
Chucky Rosa is a non-profit Public Speaker and an Advocate against drug and alcohol abuse. Chucky works with teens, families, and individuals struggling with substance abuse and has shared his personal story with thousands, which has inspired them to live a drug free life. On this week’s episode, Chucky talks about how to spot the early signs of substance abuse, what to do as a parent, and why thinking it’s ‘not a big deal’ is a mistake.
Key Takeaways
- Chucky shares his story on how he lost two children, and almost a third, to substance abuse.
- Addition is a fist fight you can win everyday. It is something you can overcome and win.
- Everyone thinks they can handle their drug or alcohol addiction…. until it starts to handle them.
- Chucky talks about when he first found out his children were experimenting with drugs.
- Chucky lost his first son and it broke his heart, nine months later, he lost his second son to drugs.
- Education is key when it comes to drug addiction and awareness.
- You don’t just teach math during the first or second grade and stop. You teach it all the way through school. The same applies to substance abuse. Teens need to be regularly educated.
- What should a parent do when they find out their son or daughter has been drinking or doing drugs?
- Chucky believes it’s important to be proactive and help them find a replacement activity that is healthier. Whether that be a cooking class or sports.
- If you drink or smoke weed, then you are a product of your own environment and you are showing your children what is acceptable.
- Chucky had his bouts with drinking and knows he didn’t set the best example for his sons. He lives with that guilt.
- If you’re blessed to be near an ocean, take advantage of it. It’s very healing.
- Chucky is adamant about getting your kids to do new hobbies and activities that will help focus them on longer-term goals.
- Chucky talks about his non-profit charity and how he’s helping teens better themselves.
Sponsored by Stand Up for Your Greatness! Edgerety.com/education
Resources
Chuckysfight.com
Quotes:
“I talk about accountability and owning your choices. For students, I encourage them to understand that addiction is a choice that they make everyday.”
“I think education is key. My sons were uneducated, and I was uneducated. If I knew it wasn’t a phase, maybe I would have done something different.”
“Alcohol abuse is not a problem until it becomes a problem. If you don’t try to help manage it, it will manage them.”
Laura Stack’s 19-year-old son, Johnny, died by suicide on November 20, 2019 from paranoid delusion from using high-THC marijuana concentrates. Soon afterward, Laura started a 501c3, Johnny’s Ambassadors, to educate parents and teens about the dangers of today’s high-THC marijuana on adolescent brain development, mental illness, and suicide.
In this session, Laura will share the story of Johnny’s marijuana addiction from a parent’s point of view, a poignant chronicle of the shocking descent from innocence to eventual suicide. Before marijuana, Johnny was a computer whiz with a 4.0 GPA and a perfect math score on the SAT. After marijuana, he stole his family dog from the home and threatened to kill it without payment from his mother. With moving candor, Laura traces the first warning signs, their attempts at rehabilitation, her desperation, and his eventual demise. Three days before his death, Johnny issued his own warning about marijuana usage. Through this tragic, transparent tale, Stack hopes to use her pain to help parents talk to their children about the dangers of today’s marijuana.
Key Takeaways
- About Laura and how she lost her son to suicide.
- If it can happen to Laura’s happy family, it can happen to anyone.
- Laura believes if marijuana wasn’t around, she’d still have her son.
- When Laura first found out about Johnny’s drug use, what did she do?
- Why is marijuana so addicting? Isn’t it safe for use?
- Laura talks about the difference between marijuana and alcohol.
- Laura wants to stress that this is not the same drug we used when we were kids in the 70s or 80s. There’s a new breed of strong and more addictive weed out there.
- How do you deter your children from using drugs?
- You have to teach your children boundary-setting skills.
- Laura thinks it’s important to set clear boundaries in the household and to not be afraid to drug test your children.
- Marijuana is harmless? Think again. As a parent, you must speak up against this false messaging.
- What are some of the behavioral changes you should be on the lookout for?
- Marijuana is destroying teen’s futures. It is making permanent changes to their brains.
- We have to protect our children in the end.
Sponsored by Stand Up for Your Greatness! Edgerety.com/education
Resources
Johnnysambassadors.org
Quotes:
“Everything we did, we still couldn’t keep him from using the marijuana and sadly, he took his life at 19 years old. You just look at this and you think, how can this happen?”
“We didn’t understand how potent marijuana is, how addicting it can be, and how it can cause mental illness. All of this was new to us.”
“We tried tough love, taking his phone, taking his car, therapy. Once he turned 18, it was impossible. There’s no way to help your child when they are a mentally ill adult.”
Jon Mattleman has worked with schools, parents, mental health organizations, and businesses for the last 30 years to help manage anxiety, stress, depression and more. Today, Jon discusses why your teen might not be opening up to you, social media challenges, and so much more. It’s not just because they’re going through a ‘phrase’, it’s because we, as parents, make it difficult for them to talk! Sometimes we need to take a step back, give our teen space, and just listen attentively without trying to problem solve. Jon shares some useful strategies on this week’s episode to help navigate these tough teen years.
Key Takeaways
- About Jon and his extensive work in this field.
- Why don’t teens talk to us?
- Believe it or not, teens want to share their fears!
- Parents are always talking and giving advice when sometimes we just need to shut up and listen!
- Why do teens have better conversations with you in the car?
- Teens stop talking because they can see your face. Jon decided to try something new and turn off the light tod see what happens!
- Just because you’re ready to talk doesn’t mean it’s a good time for them to talk.
- Kids know when you’re not present!
- Jon offers advice to parents who are worried their children aren’t motivated enough.
- We often say the wrong thing when it comes to handling anxiety.
- When your teenage son comes home drunk, the best time to talk about this is not in the moment, it’s the next morning.
- Jon shares what he learned when he asked his son why he got drunk.
- When you’re talking to your child about something they made a mistake on, don’t make a decision about the consequences on the spot just yet. This teaches them by being honest with you, they’ll get punished. Give it some distance.
- We are all so hyper connected with technology. How can we best manage it?
- What is digital self-harm?
- What are some of the best ways to talk to your teens about some of their anxiety or mental health challenges they might be going through?
- When it comes to better mental health awareness, schools are slow to accept it, but we are getting better.
- If you’re really concerned about your child’s mental health, talk to your guidance counselor at the school first. Therapists can be harder to find during Covid.
- There are so many consequences to sweeping your child’s mental wellbeing and health under the table. Address it now before it gets worse.
- What are some of the things you should look for in a therapist for your teen?
Resources
Jonmattleman.com
Sponsored by Stand Up for Your Greatness! Edgerety.com/education
Quotes:
“We didn’t have virtual learning, we had pandemic learning, which means people have to pivot at a moment's notice and that’s an incredible stressor. Of course, kids are burned out!”
“We are constantly saying the wrong things around anxiety like, ‘It’s not a big deal’ or ‘Get over it.’”
“When your kids are drinking, drugging, anything, everyone does something for a good reason to them. It’s not good in terms of their longevity or safety, but we have to understand their reasoning and process.”
Dr. Elizabeth Englander is a professor of Psychology and the Founder and Director of the Massachusetts Aggression Reduction Center at Bridgewater State University, a Center which delivers programs, resources, and research for the state of Massachusetts and nationwide. She is a nationally recognized researcher and expert in the area of bullying and cyberbullying, childhood causes of aggression and abuse, and children’s use of technology. Dr. Elizabeth dives into how parents can set their teenagers up to win and develop a healthy technology routine in this week’s episode.
Key Takeaways
- About Dr. Elizabeth.
- How do we help our teens transition post-pandemic?
- A year isolated and away from your friends is a long time for teens.
- It’s important to acknowledge your teens feelings. This is way more distressing than we might realize.
- It might seem silly, but roleplaying helps wonders!
- Ask some open-ended questions on how your teen is feeling.
- Teens have lost some of their self-confidence, what can we do to best support them?
- A study that Dr. Elizabeth conducted has shown that teens are more anxious and depressed this year than ever before.
- How do you monitor what your teen is watching on social media?
- Most teen’s do not have terrible things happening to them online. It’s important not to catastrophize the situation.
- A sign of good parenting means they’ve helped their teen develop good judgement.
- We don’t have to be overwhelmed with anxiety when it comes to our teens social media use.
- Take technology out of the bedroom, especially if it’s disrupting your teens sleep.
- With older kids, it’s important to include them in finding a solution to their problem.
- Is your teen a victim of bullying? How can you help?
- 86% of teen’s were struggling with anxiety and depression this year.
- Don’t worry about the stigma. If your teen needs help, get them help.
- Is your teen just going through a phase?
- Keep talking to your kids, even if it might feel like it’s falling on deaf ears.
Sponsored by:
www.vsac.org
Resources
Englanderelizabeth.com
Quotes:
“This has been a big stressor for everybody. There is nothing wrong with having these feelings when you go through something like this.”
“When children get old enough, you want to mostly rely on their judgement. That means you want to talk to them.”
“Your children will make mistakes, and it won’t cost them their life. I promise.”
As a Speaker, Trainer, Global Thought Leader, and Business Owner since 1987, Carole Copeland Thomas moderates the discussions of key issues affecting our global marketplace. Carole served as an adjunct faculty member for Bentley University for a decade and is the host of ‘Focus on Empowerment’, a weekly radio show that she has hosted for more than 17 years. Carol shares her 5-step framework for parents to help empower their teens, who are still trying to find themselves.
Key Takeaways
- Carole has a 5-step framework for parents and young teens to help make more empowering choices.
- The first important message Carole wants to share is to stop doubting yourself.
- Expand your mind. Read books and don’t get trapped in your local bubble.
- Education and learning new things is a lifelong journey.
- Have a quick reality check. How do you react to unforeseen problems?
- Music is powerful. Find your songs and hold on to them to help you bring yourself back to more positive times.
- Carol lost her son when he was 17 years old. Music has helped her through some painful moments.
- We want to give our teens a reality check and be independent adults, but we also want them to be safe.
- Influence and lead.
- Diversity is such an important topic and something Carole has talked about for over 30 years, but there have been times where things have been tough.
- We are our children’s role models.
Sponsored by Stand Up for Your Greatness! Edgerety.com/education
Resources
Tellcarole.com
Quotes:
“The mind expansion piece can start when you’re 10 and it can go all the way up until you’re 104 years old.”
“Every life is going to be filled with problems, hurdles, obstacles, etc. As a parent, it’s important for you to ground your young people with the realities, and when you have a problem, how you react to those problems.”
“What if I quit all those years ago? I would have influenced my children in another kind of way. They’ve seen me take lots of knocks, but I pick myself up and keep going.”
Bill Ball is entering his 23rd year as a head football coach and his 18th year as the athletic director at Exeter High School, New Hampshire. He was welcomed into the NHIAA Hall of Fame and had an entire football stadium named after him in his honor. Coach Ball is passionate about teaching teenagers the core fundamentals of sports. Find out more on this week’s episode!
Key Takeaways
- How can we generate positive experiences when our teens play sports?
- Focus on the fundamentals. Take the emphasis off of winning.
- What are some of the biggest mistakes parents make when it comes to their teens playing sports?
- Parents should not be the one talking to the coach. If your teen has a problem, they need to talk to the coach directly about it.
- Remember, you are teaching your teen teamwork, sportsmanship, and more.
- Coach Ball talks about the honor it’s been to have a stadium named after him and his work ethic.
- There is so much more to sports than just playing the game.
- Sports is all about learning how to build good relationships with one another.
Sponsored by Stand Up for Your Greatness! Edgerety.com/education
Resources
Bill Ball Bio
Quotes:
“Take the emphasis off of winning and put it towards fundamentals. The value of the game. What you get out of the game.”
“All of us who have played have received so much more than what we’ve given.”
“You have to have trust in your coach, and you have to have realistic expectations.”
Elaine Pasqua, CSP, is a dynamic nationally recognized keynote speaker and trainer who has transformed the lives of more than half a million people nationwide. She helps young students generate positive choices, healthy communication, and respectful relationships in their lives. Elaine shares on this week’s episode how to have tough conversations with your teens so that they understand the consequences and risks of underage drinking, drugs, sex, and more.
Key Takeaways
- Why do teens take such big risks?
- Teenagers think everyone is drinking underage, having sex, and partaking in drugs more so than they actually are. However, this misconception makes them want to do it too so that they’re not missing out.
- Elaine shares some interesting stats that are actually skewing the teenage perception/experience.
- How do you talk to your teens about drugs and alcohol?
- Fathers need to be engaged in the conversation about this.
- Elaine shares why alcohol is so damaging to the human body.
- Every teenager is intelligent. You have to give them the stories as well as the facts of what these illegal activities can do to you.
- Keep in mind that your kids model what they see.
- Why is marijuana so bad? It’s all legal now!
- Keep citing the examples and keep talking about the consequences. This is not just a one-time conversation.
- Remember, as parents, we only have so much control. We have to educate them to make good choices, even when they’re not around you/living in your household.
- The decisions you make as a teenager are stepping stones into adulthood.
- Elaine shares additional information on the negative consequences of high-risk drinking.
- The best time to talk to your children about real issues is in a car.
Sponsored by “Stand Up for Your Greatness!” Edgerety.com/education
Resources
Elainepasqua.com
Elaine on LinkedIn
Quotes:
“As teenagers, the brain has basically lost its guardian angel and the little person saying, ‘I wouldn’t do that if I were you.’”
“The important thing is to continually talk about the consequences, citing stories, and it’s not just one conversation. It should also be age appropriate.”
“Some of the most important phases of our brain development are happening in late teens and into the age of 25. Alcohol interferes with the brain development, and you can actually arrest the cognitive development of a young person.”
In this solo episode, Ed talks about the power of goal setting and how to help your teen have more clarity in what they’d like to do in life. Not everyone has it figured out, but by starting small, you can really start to think big, and set the steps in motion to achieve amazing things, too. Ed breaks down how he has been able to dream big and deliver big in today’s show!
Key Takeaways
- In school and in life, you can have a fixed mindset, or you can have a growth mindset.
- The people you surround yourself with are part of your success.
- Encourage your teen to create a dream board.
- Ed completed his 28th dream board. This exercise has impacted his life immensely.
- Some of the most successful people in the world have had a dream board.
- Most teens don’t know what they want to do, that’s okay, ask some clarifying questions. Get them thinking about it.
- It’s not just about the goal, it’s about who we become on our way to achieving that goal.
Quotes:
“There are two things that will separate you from others, the books that you read and the company that you keep.”
“It’s so important to remind our teens how important it is to surround themselves with positive people.”
“The biggest mistake a teenager could ever make is to live someone else’s goals.”
Courtney Poquette has been a Teacher and Advocate for personal finance education for the past 15 years. In this episode, Courtney shares how you can prepare your teenagers for financial success. Start the conversation and don’t be afraid to talk with them about retirement! By starting early, your child can get lightyears ahead and be financially prepared for adulthood.
Key Takeaways
- For a lot of people, money is a very taboo thing to talk about.
- Courtney talks about the financial education she got when she was growing up.
- She wishes more people told her about what retirement was.
- What’s a good way to get the financial conversation started with teenagers?
- Have realistic conversations with your teens on how much things actually cost.
- So many teenagers don’t really know how much a car costs or gasoline costs, or why it’s relevant.
- For many adults, we don’t think about our hourly wage and how that connects to what we want to buy.
- You don’t need to sit your child down and have a ‘money conversation’. You can address their money questions as they come up.
- We only know about the careers we’re exposed to. Talk to your children about the different career possibilities out there!
- Courtney shares a personal example of why she wished she knew about the career options that were out there when she was a young adult.
- Financial literacy education is critical! It’s so important but not every school offers this.
- Some students have no idea that you were charged fees if you used a different ATM than your bank!
- Courtney shares some resources you can share with your children.
- What are the three things students must know when it comes to finances and money?
- It’s important to teach your child the power a bank has and why it must be utilized effectively.
- How does Courtney teach her students financial literacy?
Resources
Wsdvt.org/about/staff-directoryinformation
When it comes to teaching kids personal finance, Vermont gets a D.
The Automatic Millionaire: A Powerful One-step Plan to Live and Finish Rich Book by David Bach
Rich Dad Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not! By Robert T. Kiyosaki
The Index Card: Why Personal Finance Doesn’t Have to Be Complicated by Helaine Olen
Quotes:
“There’s a lot of discomfort when it comes to talking about money. People are either worried about decisions they made or they’re worried they’d be judged. It’s a very private topic.”
“When is there ever a day where we don’t think about money? We’re always thinking about it, so we can build those conversations in every single day.”
“For students to get more exposure to different opportunities is only going to benefit them.”
Cathy Printon has been an educator for more than 30 years. She has a passion in understanding personal stories and narratives to help students learn and grow authentically. Parents always struggle with having their teen open up and talk about some of the challenges they’re going through. Cathy shares advice on how to sit and really make your teen feel heard and seen, and how you can build a closer relationship with your child through trust and honesty.
Key Takeaways
- It’s hard to have a meaningful conversation with your teenager. How do you get them to talk?
- It’s so easy to just give advice as an adult who has made it out on the other side, but that’s not what your teen needs. Practice active listening skills and try not to put your parent hat on.
- You don’t have to go into the super hard-hitting stuff, sometimes just asking them who they’re sitting with at lunch is enough.
- What made you laugh today? That gets a teen to really talk and open up.
- What stories do you share and what stories don’t you share?
- It’s important to be honest, but give advice/information based on what’s acceptable for their age.
- You want to give your child both the good and the bad life stories.
- It’s important to make your child feel seen and heard.
- Cathy has created 100 conversation starters to provide parents with additional resources.
Resources
- Edpartnerships.org/about-gear-up
- Cathy on LinkedIn
Quotes:
“Be ready to listen when they’re ready to talk.”
“If your child is asking you something, they want to know, so decide whether to give them the entire answer or parts of the answer [that’s appropriate for their age].”
“When your children know you’ve struggled and your family has had some struggles, and you’ve worked through it, that builds history and strength of trust within the family.”
Christine Conceison is a Licensed Certified Social Worker with 10+ years of experience in the school setting and 18+ years in clinical and non-clinical behavioral health experience.
Christine is committed to creating partnerships with students, families, and communities to promote mental well-being and social-emotional growth.
On this episode, Christine focuses on the role of school systems, school-based mental health staff, and parents in addressing the rise in social/emotional and mental health issues in young adults.
Key Takeaways
- How can we help our teens with their emotional well-being?
- It’s so important to just let your children talk and let them vent.
- Parents are expecting their teens to behave one way and they don’t. How can parents best navigate this?
- Christine offers advice on how teens can best manage their mental health when it comes to interacting with social media.
- How can parents partner with schools and give teenagers the emotional support they need?
- Sometimes students show up so differently at school than they do at home. Open communication is key here.
- Teenagers are old enough to have a bit of ownership when it comes to their performance, mental health, and any other conversations that are surrounding them. Include them in the talks and keep them posted when you talk to teachers about them.
- We often make the mistake of trying to protect our children by not communicating key details to them, but that only builds resentment.
- Community response is critical too. We all need to get better at talking about our mental health.
Episode Sponsored by
(Link logo/image to: Edgerety.com/education)
Resources:
- Interface.williamjames.edu
Quotes:
“Reach out and talk with your students’ guidance counselor, the school psychologist. The more communication, the better.”
“The more the students, parents, and the school all work together, the more productive we are and support the student.”
“At adolescence, they are at the age where they should be part of the conversation, especially if the conversation is all about them.”
Michelle Tetschner is an advocate, mom of three boys, and author of the book, “Fully Included”. One of Michelle’s sons has down syndrome and she set out to help our education system become more inclusive to all different types of people, with or without disabilities, By having more diversity in the world, and especially in the classroom, you open to having a much more compassionate and understanding society.
Key Takeaways
- Michelle shares some of the benefits of including everyone in the classroom.
- We’re all perfectly imperfect.
- Every human being at its core is looking to connect with another human being.
- Michelle talks about down syndrome for those who might not know what it is.
- We’re all going to experience a disability at some point in our lives.
- Celebrate people’s uniqueness.
- How can parents get involved and support diversity?
- Disabilities aren’t going away. There’s a good chance your son or daughter will encounter someone with a disability sometime in their life.
- A majority of students are simply blown away once they really get to know someone that’s slightly different than them.
- How did Michelle make changes within the school to be more inclusive?
- Strive to include everyone and make sure there’s a seat for them at the table. It starts with us.
Episode Sponsored by
(Link logo/image to: Edgerety.com/education)
Resources
Fully Included~Stories to Inspire Inclusion by Michelle Tetschner
Michelle on LinkedIn
Quotes:
“We are all perfectly imperfect. None of us have it all..”
“Am I going to be labeled by my weakness for the rest of my life? It’s not fair. It’s not giving the best of me.”
“Raymond wants you to succeed. He wants you to be happy. He will do everything he can to make you laugh and that’s huge for a friend.”
Amy Hage, M. Ed. and Certified ADHD Coach is the Founder of Focus & Fuel, an Executive Function, ADHD, and Nutrition support website for those who just need to stay a little bit more focused in their lives! People with ADHD have fast brains and it gets them distracted easily. There can be negative perceptions to this, like you might think your teen is lazy or a huge procrastinator, but no! People with ADHD are just wired differently. Amy shares how you can set routines in place to use it as a strength and get good work done.
Key Takeaways
- What is ADHD?
- Life’s hard for all of us right now, but it’s incredibly difficult for those with ADHD.
- What can parents do to help their teens navigate their fast brains?
- Routines are key!
- Why do people with ADHD forget to eat?
- When you have a nourished body, you have a nourished brain. Here are some hacks to help you get your teen to eat.
- Why do ADHD people struggle with sleeping?
- Amy offers some good sleep hygiene tips.
- How do you teach a good mindset routine to your teen?
- Amy shares how you can work with your ADHD strengths! Yes! It’s possible.
- What does Amy mean by using the ‘scaffolding’ technique?
- How can you get tested for ADHD?
- How can a coach help your ADHD child?
Episode Sponsored by
- Edgerety.com/education)
Resources:
Connect with Amy: Focusandfuel.com & LinkedIn
Certified ADHD & Executive Function Coach, Certified Youth and Teen Coach
Masters of Education in Organization and Leadership
Amy believes that client/coach relationships work best with collaboration, trust, and communication. Through one-to-one, client-driven interactions, she provides support and easy-to-implement techniques that promote focus through physical health and a positive mindset.
Calm.com
Headspace.com
Insighttimer.com
Quotes:
“I believe the best gift parents can give their ADHD teens is the gift of understanding. They have intentions to follow through, but their fast brain gets in their way.”
“People with ADHD often get labelled as lazy, unreliable, unmotivated. These labels imply the ADHDer intends to be distracted/procrastinate.”
“If you’re getting feedback from other parents or your teachers are saying it, an executive function route might be a good one for your teen.”
Tara Whitney is a published author, podcaster, speaker and coach and believes women don’t need the scale to fully know their own self-worth. Tara shares some surprising facts that are happening with our young girls and how body dysphoria shows up. Social media has only accelerated this need to have a ‘perfect image’ and it’s causing some of our young teens to develop an eating disorder. Tara talks about some of the signs you should look out for in this week’s episode.
Key Takeaways
- Tara is leading a revolution of women who are listening to their own internal wisdom, respecting and nourishing their bodies, and ultimately trusting themselves in every area of their lives.
- The average girl starts to diet around 8 years of age. When Tara was growing up, it was 12.
- What are some of the signs you should be looking for in your teen?
- How do you have the conversation with your teen about their body?
- Teens are noticing that they get more attention if they are skinnier or prettier, so they will take on extreme methods to get noticed.
- No matter how hard you try, there is no such thing as ‘being thin enough’.
- If your child is obsessing over the number on the scale, it might be time to seek extra help.
- Tara doesn’t see the value of having a scale in the house.
- How do you help your teens navigate social media’s portrayal of the perfect body?
- Don’t have a partner onboard with this? Try to have a discussion about some common goals with your children.
- Children see what their parents are talking about. How do you talk about your own body image?
Episode Sponsored by:
- Edgerety.com/education)
Resources:
- Tara-whitney.com
- https://www.facebook.com/tarahwhitney
- https://www.instagram.com/tarahwhitney/
- https://www.amazon.com/Hungry-Trust-Your-Body-around/dp/1733909605
Quotes:
“8 years old is when children are starting to restrict what they eat, and they start to take it to extremes.”
“When anyone loses significant amounts of weight over a short period of time, you don’t know what their experience is. Weightless doesn’t mean health.”
“For a lot of eating disorder behavior, you can never be thin enough.”
Jean Marie McNamara is a single mom with two children who has experienced deep trauma. Their father killed his then-girlfriend and then himself, and later, their step father walked out on them suddenly. Jean understands that these unforeseen life events can have a hugely negative impact on her children, but here’s how she is working with them to set them up for success and help them face adversity when things don’t go according to plan.
Key Takeaways
- Jean’s ex-husband killed his girlfriend and then himself. This caused serious trauma in her two children, aged 13 and 10.
- How did Jean cope during this tragedy?
- Sometimes, you just have to take it 5 minutes at time in order to properly cope.
- In light of tragedy, it’s important to be plugged into a community so that your children not only get your support, but the love and support of others. It really does take a village.
- No one gives you a manual on how to be a good parent.
- As much as you want to hide the truth from your children, don’t. Tell the truth and they will respect you for it.
- It’s okay to tell them you don’t have all the answers, but that you’ll figure it out.
- It’s important your children have a strong routine. It makes a big difference when faced with grief.
- How should you be thinking about school when a tragedy happens?
- As a parent, it’s important to be their voice and help guide them through this challenging time.
- Some people might feel embarrassed about the events that happen to them. They might not want to tell anyone, but that will only make you feel more isolated.
- What is post-traumatic growth?
- What resources should a parent tap into?
- Jean is still processing the tragedy that has happened to her family, and she’s an adult! You can only imagine what it might do to your young children.
- You’re not a victim. You are a survivor!
Link Image to: Edgerety.com/education
Quotes:
“If I could rewind the clock when this tragedy happened, I can tell you it’s one step at a time. We just would take it five minutes at a time.”
“Children change so much. Everyday they are changing, learning, growing. They are maturing into what happened to them.”
“I told my children the truth. It was so difficult. Most difficult thing I had to do, but they respected and trusted me to care for them.”
Mom and Dad, how did you learn about dating, boundaries, and intimacy? Did most of us receive specific instructions or did we learn as we go? How often were those moments uncomfortable or even scary – whether for us or a partner? How about your teen? When will your son or daughter engage in sexual activity: kissing, fondling, oral sex, or intercourse? Will it be on his or her terms? Get ready for a direct, energetic and enlightening discussion with author, speaker, and expert Mike Domitrz.
As the Founder of The Center for Respect, Mike Domitrz has produced 2 critically-acclaimed books and spoken on 4 continents – to tens of thousands each year. You may have seen him quoted in Forbes or The Wall Street Journal. Maybe you’ve seen him as a guest expert on Dateline NBC’s “My Kid Would Never Do That” Series.
Mike’s award-winning DVD and book set “Help! My Teen is Dating. Real Solutions to Tough Conversations” is hailed by parents and educators as a “Must Have.” We are honored to have him as a guest on this episode where he holds nothing back in helping parents engage with their kids on these vitally necessary conversations.
Key Takeaways
- What are some common mistakes parents make when talking to their teens about sex?
- When fear comes forward in a parent’s life, the first reaction is to try and control our teen to protect them.
- Parents need to take a step back and empower their children with yes and no decisions.
- Have you been guilty of telling your child what to wear and what not to wear?
- The second biggest mistake parents make is that they come from a place of rage instead of love. This scares teens and they don’t want to admit their mistakes to you.
- How do you help your teen see you as somebody in their corner?
- Best ways to relate to your child? Tell them you get it. Mike shares how to approach this in the best way.
- What unconscious (and bad!) lessons are parents teaching their children about consent?
- Children need education to understand when they are and are not ready for sex. Flatly saying ‘no’ doesn’t equip them for success.
- What are your worst fears as parents? Talk about them.
- How do you talk to your children about porn? Should you?
- You can’t hide google, and children are tech savvy. Even if you have all the porn blockers in the world, their friend’s don’t.
- Porn is a big educational source for children. Isn’t that scary! This is why you need to have the conversation on what’s right or wrong before the porn stars do.
- Mike shares some of the common misconception’s parents make about their children, or other people’s children.
- What resources are out there for parents to have these tough conversations with their children?
- Action is what matters in the end. Educate yourself, and then take action. The responsibility is on you as a parent to engage in the conversation!
Episode Sponsored by
Resources
Connect with Mike:
www.CenterForRespect.com
www.FaceBook.com/MikeRespects
www.Instagram.com/MikeRespects
Quotes:
“Whatever you do, just say no! Well, the child has no ownership of that! You didn’t let them make the choice.”
“The second you say, ‘I can’t imagine what you’re going through.’ to your teen. Your teen has every right to think, ‘Then stop talking to me if you can’t understand me.’”
“Research shows that the age the child sees porn for the first time is between 11 and 12 years old. It’s an accidental google.”
Patricia Turner, M.Ed., received her Bachelor of Arts degree in English and Master of Education degree in Higher Education and Student Affairs Administration from The University of Vermont. With 30+ years of experience in education with students from grade 7 through university, she brings the perspective of a teacher, administrator, counselor, professor, and parent, and is in year 16 of serving as a GEAR UP outreach counselor in Vermont.
Today’s topic can be a tough one for parents! What do you do when your teen decides that college is not for them? Patricia shares her perspectives as an educator and how the future is still bright for a lot of teens who choose an alternative path. Don’t panic!
Key Takeaways
- Help! My teen doesn’t want to go to college. What now?
- There are many bright paths and options for our teens.
- It’s very natural to frame our work with young people, and our children, based on our own experiences, but we need to break out of that mold.
- It’s a good thing that students are excited about pursuing different avenues!
- What is it like being a person who has lots of interests in life?
- How can you help your child find their passions and their life calling?
- You don’t just go through one or two careers in life. It really can be a diverse and interesting journey.
- There are many avenues, like volunteer programs, internships, certificate programs, that teens can pursue. We are living in extraordinary times right now and there are a lot of options!
- One of the best messages we can give our teens is that success has many different paths.
- Challenge your teen to think about big world problems. What would they like to solve? What are they passionate about?
- Reminder to parents: If your teen chooses not to go to college, it’s not a bad thing.
- What happens when you have a teen who doesn’t care what they want to do? How can we reignite the spark within them?
- A lot of great progress can be made with your teen just by asking questions, keeping quiet, and listening to them.
- Here are some great ways you can help your teen become curious and support their passion/endeavor’s.
Resources
Connect with Patricia: Vsac.org
Quotes:
“The path is not always straight and that’s something I try to hold in my heart and have it inform my work with students everyday.”
“It’s really important to understand and help students and families recognize that there are many paths to fulfilling lives and fulfilling careers.”
“Help young people broaden their horizons through experience, to hopefully land on one or more things that help them find that thing that they love and drive them towards fulfilling that part of their lives.”
Sharon Harris is a College & Life Skills Coach for Partnered Success. Sharon has been helping people identify and move toward their personal and professional goals for more than 15 years and has seen it all.
As a college coach, she helps both students and parents prepare for this next transition of life, and sets them up for success. Find out what Sharon is seeing in the field as colleges try to adapt to this ‘new normal’ and embrace more virtual learning opportunities in this week’s episode.
Key Takeaways
- How do we help our teen navigate the college search during the pandemic?
- What is Sharon seeing right now when it comes to the college admission process?
- Colleges understand that we need to approach college admissions in a different way. Parents are having a hard time adapting.
- You can do virtual college fairs now!
- Colleges need students just as much as students need them! So, stop stressing whether your child will get in.
- Is your target college going to fulfill the needs of your family/your student?
- Do we really need to send our students off to the next country club?
- How do you help your child become successful with this new life transition?
- How quickly is your target college adapting to the times? This is a big indicator to look for.
- You’d be shocked to see how many educational institutions are not as stable as they seem. Will they even be around in the next 2-4 years?
- Biggest piece of advice for parents and teens? Plan early! There are a lot of opportunities out there and you can get started today.
- Your teen can leave high school with an associate’s degree. Take advantage of this!
- Sharon shares how she came up with the name for her business, Partnered Success.
Resources
Connect with Sharon Harris: Partnered-success.com & LinkedIn
National Association for College Admission Counseling: Nacacnet.org
https://virtual.gotocollegefairs.com/
https://virtualcollegefairs.org/events
https://studentaid.gov/h/apply-for-aid/fafsa
Quotes:
“I’ve encouraged every student out there to try and reach out and conduct interviews.”
“For students particularly, this is the first time they begin to own their future, so enjoy it. This really should not be a time to stress.”
“I think in our society we’ve created the wrong mentality with regards to colleges. Stop and think. Colleges will not be there if they don’t have students. Colleges need students just as much as students want to go.”
Jack Agati has over 25 years of experience as a presenter, speaker, and trainer in the area of human relations and management. Jack has taught courses at the college level, and he created the popular audio series, "Why Do Kids Do the Things They Do?"
Jack has also authored several articles and an upcoming book, “Dealing with Beastly People”. In this week’s episode, Jack shares strategic tips and tricks on how to manage your unruly teen, whose life mission seems to just drive you up the wall and push your boundaries. Here’s how you can take a step back and gain some healthy perspectives while also keeping them accountable!
Key Takeaways
- Choose war or choose peace? When is the right time to pick your battles with your teen?
- Create a list of all the things your teen is doing that’s making you go crazy.
- Once you have typed the entire list, categorize it and put things into perspective. How many of these things are ‘life and death’ situations where their values are going astray?
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Children know when you’re at your busiest and they want to give you something to react to.
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Decide what your goal is. Do you want to punish them or teach them how to make better decisions?
- There are two truths when it comes to dealing with young men and women. Jack shares what they are.
- We have the freedom to choose, but you don’t have the freedom of consequence. Teenagers need to understand this distinction.
- Have a misbehaving teen? Here’s three questions you can ask yourself.
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What do you do when your teenager says they’ll do something, and then changes their mind shortly after?
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Jack lists a couple of common excuses our teens like to throw at us like: ‘I was joking’ or ‘It’s not fair!’ and the best ways for you to respond.
- The goal is to raise your teen as someone who is independent, responsible, has a good work ethic, and is not swayed by their peer group.
- Don’t raise a generation of ‘house guests’! It will be a nightmare for you, and for them.
- Being a teenager is hard. No one wants to relive their teenage years.
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When does it make sense to give praise to your teenager?
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Don’t wait for the big things to give them recognition. It’s the small details that make the most impact.
Resources
Sponsored by “Vermont Student Assistance Corporation “Gear Up”: https://www.vsac.org/
Connect with Jack Agati: Jackagati.com
Quotes:
“Resist the temptation to blow things into major battles. They’re not worth it.”
“If you look at the Greek and Latin language, the word discipline means to teach/to learn.”
“One thing kids realize about us is that we as parents are really consistent with our inconsistencies.”
Hosted by Ed Gerety, Top Motivational Speaker/Author, CSP ~ An authentic conversation about the toughest issues facing teenagers today and what we can do as parents to help them navigate these challenging waters.
Featuring award-winning educators, authors, and special guests that provide expert advice, real solutions, and inspiration so together we can help our teens succeed in school and in life.