This Most Unbelievable Life!: Recent Episodes
thismostunbelievablelife
This podcast, hosted by Drs. Cheri Spiegel and Paul Fitzgerald, covers all things as they relate to two college professors in this modern age. Enjoy! If you have a topic that you would like us to cover, blast them over!
Hey all! This episode is a bit of a departure from our usual podcast format. This one is an exclusive Cheri Spiegel production on the topic of Empathy. As Cheri talks through in this episode, unlocking empathy takes a little bit of work, and it takes some skill to fully engage with it throughout a lifetime. Sometimes, when we really look around honestly at the world, as it is, it can break our hearts, and the pain and suffering of it can sometimes be too much to bear all at once. How can we know how much we can engage with it, and act upon it, without falling into despair, shutting it down in response, and turning it off completely? Give Cheri a listen on this one, and see what you think of our framework for engaging with empathy as a lifelong practice to live a full and complete life. Living with empathy is hard work sometimes, but we really do believe that empathy comes naturally to us, and that life really is richer, deeper, and more meaningful with a skillful empathy practice.
Of course, this includes self-empathy. More on this in the podcast!
Thanks all!
Do we have an interesting episode for you today? Well, we certainly think so! Ironically enough, we didn't intend to discover anything particularly new when we recorded this episode. Instead, we simply planned to share what we learned about the concept of discover through the workshop we've offered entitled "Discover: Exploring Needs as They Emerge In College Contexts." While we did share a bit from that experience, we got an invitation to really explore what it takes to be open to discovery when...a young man knocked on the door of the room we were recording in and asked, curiously enough, where he might be able to learn more about recording a podcast! You'll hear Cheri start to get distracted as she's finishing a sentence and then you'll be treated to Paul and Cheri debriefing the experience and using it as a tool to think through the things we agree one needs to accept if they're going to move into discovery mode! For quick reference, we provide them below here, but listen in to hear us talk through them - and for our most curious recording experience to date!
To become a discoverer, you must first meet and accept the following things:
- You do not know all there is to know.
- You do not currently see all that there is to see.
- Other beings know and understand things you do not.
- Other beings have occupied spaces and experiences that you have not.
- You are limited in your capacity to know, experience, and understand.
- Your current way of seeing may inhibit your ability to see as others do.
Depending upon your background, experiences, and abilities, some of these premises might be more or less difficult to accept.
This is Episode 117 of the This Most Unbelievable Life Podcast! This episode looks at the concept of reflection and its importance as a way of processing and moving us forward in our lives (more traction!). We contrast reflection with rumination, which can cause us just to spin our wheels! Building on our car metaphor, we walk through an exercise we love using in our shared spaces, "The Parking Lot Reflection." If you're interested in using this tool yourself and/or with groups you lead, consider purchasing the PDF and PPT downloads we offer up on the brand new TMUL Etsy Store!
Welcome to Episode 116 of the Podcast! This episode takes a look at our deepening understanding of what it means to have a pause practice. We take a look at instances of when we get to choose to pause, as well as times when pausing is thrust upon us. It's something that we'll all have to engage with eventually. What is the skill set for this?
Hey all! Well, we're back!
In this episode, we take some time to catch folks up with all we've been doing over the past 8 months, and to begin to share some of the ideas we've been developing over the past academic year. We're excited to be recording again, and we hope you enjoy this one!
If there is a path that we're on in this life that leads to where we want to go, what provides the traction that lets the wheels grip the road to move us forward? Spoiler alert... we say it's compassion.
Thanks everybody!
Paul and Cheri
Hey folks!
This episode was recorded fresh on the heels of our latest Compassion workshop on our campus, and this being at the end of a busy couple of weeks, the conversation is pretty wide ranging! Since we have the tools of practical, embodied compassion in our hearts and minds as we offer workshops to our community, naturally, the conversation reflects on that.
This conversation curiously, but somehow naturally, flows into a discussion of the eternal question, “what is all of this?” Give this one a listen and let us know what you think the benefits of a compassion-based life might be as we explore this topic ourselves!
Thanks folks!
P + C
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If you’d like to get the Official TMUL Newsletter in your email inbox each and every month, click on the link below and sign up! All sorts of nifty tidbits in there in the months to come, including some guided meditations. Here’s the link!
https://www.thismostunbelievablelife.com/newsletter
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Aaaaaannnd were back! It was quite a summer for us over here, but not too much of what we were up to was visible - thus, this episode! As we get the creative podcast juices flowing once again, give this one a listen and hear what's been pulling us away from the microphone, and what we're working on as we fire it back up.
Thank you for your patience, folks! It's good to be podcasting again!
P + C
This Most Unbelievable Newsletter Signup!
If you’d like to get the Official TMUL Newsletter in your email inbox each and every month, click on the link below and sign up! All sorts of nifty tidbits in there in the months to come, including some guided meditations. Here’s the link!
https://www.thismostunbelievablelife.com/newsletter
Social Media Links
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Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
Episode 112 - "Seeing What Is Around Us, with Honesty"
Hey folks!
This episode brings us a chat about chapter 3 in Maria Arpa’s book, “Mindfulness at Work.” This chapter, for us anyway, describes where the real work starts! When we turn our magnifying glass to all that is around us in the workplace, or anywhere for that matter, what do we notice, what do we like, and what could use a little attention? We especially like the use of the metaphorical magnifying glass in this chapter. With that, we can see things up close, or we can see them from farther away. Is it the details that we like or don’t like, or is it the whole thing, in its entirety?
Let us know what you think about this one! Next time, Chapter 4 - “The Conflicts!”
If you’d like to pick up the book, “Mindfulness at Work,” by Maria Arpa, here is a link to the book from the publisher page :
https://www.quartoknows.com/ourbooks/bookinfo.aspx?ean=9781782409342&bkey=39221980
Thanks folks!
P + C
Shoutouts
A big shoutout to the Zoom corporation, the makers of some of the best, affordable sound and video equipment out there. Notice that we seem to be into video now! Check us out on YouTube!
This Most Unbelievable Newsletter Signup!
If you’d like to get the Official TMUL Newsletter in your email inbox each and every month, click on the link below and sign up! All sorts of nifty tidbits in there in the months to come, including some guided meditations. Here’s the link!
https://www.thismostunbelievablelife.com/newsletter
Social Media Links
Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | Email
Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
Hey folks!
In this episode, we talk through Chapter 2 of Maria Arpa’s book, “Mindfulness at Work.” The title of this chapter, “Freedom & Sustainability,” seems to us to be about how we might find a way to operate in a joyful, mostly resistance-free way in the structure of our workplace. We live with this contrast between doing what we want, and needing to pay the bills. How do we find a middle ground in this that might be more than merely acceptable? Can we find ways to do the work we love to do AND hold a steady job, or does that require a total change in the container in which we operate?
Give this one a listen and let us know what you think! Next time, Chapter 3 - “The Honest Audit!”
If you’d like to pick up the book, “Mindfulness at Work,” by Maria Arpa, here is a link to the book from the publisher page :
https://www.quartoknows.com/ourbooks/bookinfo.aspx?ean=9781782409342&bkey=39221980
Thanks folks!
P + C
Shoutouts
A big shoutout to the Zoom corporation, the makers of some of the best, affordable sound and video equipment out there. Notice that we seem to be into video now! Check us out on YouTube!
This Most Unbelievable Newsletter Signup!
If you’d like to get the Official TMUL Newsletter in your email inbox each and every month, click on the link below and sign up! All sorts of nifty tidbits in there in the months to come, including some guided meditations. Here’s the link!
https://www.thismostunbelievablelife.com/newsletter
Social Media Links
Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | Email
Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
Hey folks!
In this episode, we talk through Chapter 1 of Maria Arpa’s book, “Mindfulness at Work.” The title of this chapter, “Wake Up & Smell the Coffee,” seems to us to be about acknowledgement. It starts with the acknowledgement that we are where we are in the workplace because we accepted things as they were, made decisions, even unconscious ones, on how to best operate in the environment we found ourselves in, and reacted and responded to situations as a result of the causes and conditions of our lives. As Maria Arpa writes, “By remembering and acknowledging those experiences, you will understand their effect on the choices you have made about work and can begin to take steps to remedy this.”
Give this one a listen and let us know what you think! Next time, Chapter 2 - “Freedom and Sustainability!”
If you’d like to pick up the book, “Mindfulness at Work,” by Maria Arpa, here is a link to the book from the publisher page :
https://www.quartoknows.com/ourbooks/bookinfo.aspx?ean=9781782409342&bkey=39221980
Thanks folks!
P + C
Shoutouts
A big shoutout to the Zoom corporation, the makers of some of the best, affordable sound and video equipment out there. Notice that we seem to be into video now! Check us out on YouTube!
This Most Unbelievable Newsletter Signup!
If you’d like to get the Official TMUL Newsletter in your email inbox each and every month, click on the link below and sign up! All sorts of nifty tidbits in there in the months to come, including some guided meditations. Here’s the link!
https://www.thismostunbelievablelife.com/newsletter
Social Media Links
Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | Email
Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
Hi Everybody!
We have a bonus episode for you this time! It’s just a little short one to let you in on what’s been going on over here at the TMUL shop. Long story short… acknowledging limitations! There are times in our lives when we discover that we can’t do it all (blah blah blah - the same words we’ve heard all our lives). We do hit limitations sometimes, and as we discovered this month, until we can acknowledge our limitations, we can never be free. That’s the message of this one. How do we acknowledge our limitations and be ok with them? On the one hand, we want to do great and be invincible. On the other hand, we’re humans… humans with limitations.
For the long story long, check this bonus episode out, and let us know what you think! We’ll be back with the longform regular programming soon.
Take care, folks!
P + C
Shoutouts
Last week we had a shoutout to Zoom Corp - the A/V hardware company. This week, a mad props to Zoom the software company, without whom this episode, and many other podcasts by awesome creators around the world wouldn’t be possible.
This Most Unbelievable Newsletter Signup!
If you’d like to get the Official TMUL Newsletter in your email inbox each and every month, click on the link below and sign up! All sorts of nifty tidbits in there in the months to come, including some guided meditations. Here’s the link!
https://www.thismostunbelievablelife.com/newsletter
Social Media Links
Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | Email
Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
Hey folks! This episode marks the first in a seven-part series where we discuss the book, “Mindfulness at Work,” by Maria Arpa. As we work to bring our contemplative practices more fully developed into all aspects of our lives, we naturally ask, “how might we do this at work?” What we do on nights and weekends is one thing, what we do on the job, however… is that something else altogether? Or might these mindful awareness practices apply to all aspects of our lives? It’s easy to be mindful while engaging in leisure activities or perhaps during times of rest, but during the majority of your waking, workday hours? What does that look like?
This week we discuss the introduction of the book and the history of why we’ve chosen this one as the subject of conversation. Also, if you would like to join us in this experience, you too may pick up a copy of the book and come along on this journey with us. You could even start your own Mindfulness at Work book group at your place of employment! That’s what we’ve done!
If you’d like to join in with us, here is a link to the book from the publisher page :
https://www.quartoknows.com/ourbooks/bookinfo.aspx?ean=9781782409342&bkey=39221980
Thanks folks!
P + C
Shoutouts
A big shoutout to the Zoom corporation, the makers of some of the best, affordable sound and video equipment out there. Notice that we seem to be into video now! Check us out on YouTube!
This Most Unbelievable Newsletter Signup!
If you’d like to get the Official TMUL Newsletter in your email inbox each and every month, click on the link below and sign up! All sorts of nifty tidbits in there in the months to come, including some guided meditations. Here’s the link!
https://www.thismostunbelievablelife.com/newsletter
Social Media Links
Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | Email
Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
What, indeed, is the advantage of embracing the practices of mindfulness in the workplace? So often, we hear of businesses and organizations promoting mindfulness at work, and working on ways to institutionalize mindful approaches and activities, such as yoga, meditation breaks, and other holistic invitations. Is a 10 minute breathing break in the middle of the workday what we really need, though? In this episode, we talk through what it might mean to change our workplace experiences in a more complete and personal way by using awareness of communication with our colleagues and ourselves as the actual framework for workplace wellness. Can we actually ask for compassion in the workplace outright, and how might that request be made to those with whom we work?
We hope that you enjoy this episode! Let us know what you think!
Link to Grok It Cards - https://groktheworld.com/
P + C
Shoutouts
A huge TMUL shoutout to our new patron, long-time supporter Jessica! THANK YOU JESSICA!!!! Your support means the world to us! Expect merch soon. :-)
This Most Unbelievable Newsletter Signup!
If you’d like to get the Official TMUL Newsletter in your email inbox each and every month, click on the link below and sign up! All sorts of nifty tidbits in there in the months to come, including some guided meditations. Here’s the link!
https://www.thismostunbelievablelife.com/newsletter
Social Media Links
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Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www
.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
We all have heard about workplace burnout, and there are whole books - many books - written about this topic. We sometimes think that if we REALLY loved our job, and if we were really happy with our work, we wouldn’t ever actually experience burnout. What if, however, occasional bouts with burnout were an inevitable part of any work that we do? If we approach feelings of burnout honestly and with a little compassion and patience, we can see it for what it might truly be - a natural, occasionally inevitable part of what it means to do work. How do we know when it’s time to change course with what we’re doing or how we approach our work? It turns out that occasional feelings of burnout might be a window into this.
We hope that you enjoy this episode! Let us know what you think!
P + C
This Most Unbelievable Newsletter Signup!
If you’d like to get the Official TMUL Newsletter in your email inbox each and every month, click on the link below and sign up! All sorts of nifty tidbits in there in the months to come, including some guided meditations. Here’s the link!
https://www.thismostunbelievablelife.com/newsletter
Social Media Links
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Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
What if compassion in the classroom was the foundation of the environment, rather than something “else” that you “ought” to do as a teacher? So often, we, as academics, are left with the thought that good classroom practices are “something else” that we have to do on top of the content that we teach. In this episode, we talk through the possibility that the content might actually be the second thing that we bring with us, and why the very nature of the classroom environment itself must be the first consideration to attend to, which, if established with compassion and non-violence as first principles, enables true, deep learning to happen.
This episode also briefly hits upon a side topic not fully addressed in this episode, but one that has been raging on for years: what, in fact, does a grade in a class represent? Rather than this just being a gathering of opinions, which does have value, we also wonder if folks actually agree on what it is “supposed” to represent. If the goal is mastery of content, then clearly not everyone is starting from the same place, and PRESTO… academic privilege! As such, we explore some clear equity vs. equality conversation in this one, while anticipating that we’ll circle back to this topic for many years, as we see equity and inclusion as active ongoing aims in a complex educational landscape. We hope you like this one!
P + C
This Most Unbelievable Newsletter Signup!
If you’d like to get the Official TMUL Newsletter in your email inbox each and every month, click on the link below and sign up! All sorts of nifty tidbits in there in the months to come, including some guided meditations. Here’s the link!
https://www.thismostunbelievablelife.com/newsletter
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Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
Hey folks! From tea imagery to coffee! Where we go: into the grind! Truth - there are times when our days are easy, and there are times when days are hard. Sometimes we find joy in the daily little things, yet, sometimes what happens is met with resistance. Stuff happens, both expected and unexpected, and we look for opportunities for ease when we can. We also suffer the unexpected struggles when they arise. There’s no avoiding that! In that, we really don’t have too much choice. Easy things and hard things will happen, we promise.
When faced with the truth of unpredictability, it can seem like this life is just happening to us, and that we really don’t have any agency in this life. Although unexpected and challenging things happen, what choices can actually be made that can have a meaningful impact in how we show up for what arises? We don’t always get to choose what happens, but we might actually have more options than we realize. Check this episode out, and let us know what you think!
P + C
This Most Unbelievable Newsletter Signup!
If you’d like to get the Official TMUL Newsletter in your email inbox each and every month, click on the link below and sign up! All sorts of nifty tidbits in there in the months to come, including some guided meditations. Here’s the link!
https://www.thismostunbelievablelife.com/newsletter
Social Media Links
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Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
Hey all! Question… what do you think of tea? Throughout the course of the day, we drink a lot of tea! We enjoy it in the morning, after class, sometimes during class, in workshops that we host, and in meetings, with friends, colleagues, students, and even on our own. Most of the planning and conversation that we have, between ourselves and with others, starts with, “You want a cup of tea?” Our invitations to others often take the form of, “Join us for tea?” For us, and we suspect for many others, tea holds this special quality that not many other drinks can produce. There indeed seems to be something primal, mystical, or magical, about simple tea.
To be clear, this conversation is about more than tea, it gets pretty deep into what we do, who we are, and what makes us tick. It all starts, however, with a cup of tea.
Kick back, relax, grab a cup of tea, and give this one a listen and let us know what you think!
So, let’s start with tea! Fire up the kettle, y’all!
P + C
This Most Unbelievable Newsletter Signup!
If you’d like to get the Official TMUL Newsletter in your email inbox each and every month, click on the link below and sign up! All sorts of nifty tidbits in there in the months to come, including some guided meditations. Here’s the link!
https://www.thismostunbelievablelife.com/newsletter
Social Media Links
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Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
Here’s an episode about fire! At last! How have two fire signs (one a Leo, the other, Aries) gone this long without tackling this topic? Well, it’s taken us a bit of time to learn to understand our own fire! Check this one out and hear more about how we have come to accept what fuels us and aim our “fire” in ways that help us - and those around us. The truth is that carefully aimed fire can bring life and warmth, while unfocused fire risks burning the whole place to the ground! Check this one out and let us know what fuels you and how you focus that energy in ways that you find sustainable!
P + C
This Most Unbelievable Newsletter Signup!
If you’d like to get the Official TMUL Newsletter in your email inbox each and every month, click on the link below and sign up! All sorts of nifty tidbits in there in the months to come, including some guided meditations. Here’s the link!
https://www.thismostunbelievablelife.com/newsletter
Social Media Links
Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | Email
Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
Hi all!
When was the last time you really had to take some time to figure something out? If you’re anything like us, the times when we have the A-HA moments are quick and sudden, but they only really occur as the end of a much longer, more involved investment of time, energy, confusion, familiarizing, and quite often, struggle! Rather than the A-HA moment representing the process of learning, we suggest that the whole process of it - including the awkward, uncomfortable times of fumbling around - represents the learning process.
If we put it like that, this means that the struggle, the challenge, the awkward fumbling, and even the frustration that comes with not “figuring it out” more quickly does not represent failure, or slowness, or inadequacy, or anything that one could disparage themselves for! Rather, quite the opposite might be true! To feel the struggle and challenge that comes with learning a new skill or idea IS the learning process itself, in its purest form. It’s that awkward fumbling through that truly represents learning, rather than the A-HA moment at the end.
Besides, that A-HA moment really doesn’t last too long before we move onto the next thing. That A-HA moment does feel fantastic though, right? Of course it does. That is the reward we receive for our struggle.
Thanks, folks, and keep learning! Discover something new to figure out, and embrace the awkward!
P + C
This Most Unbelievable Newsletter Signup!
If you’d like to get the Official TMUL Newsletter in your email inbox each and every month, click on the link below and sign up! All sorts of nifty tidbits in there in the months to come, including some guided meditations. Here’s the link!
https://www.thismostunbelievablelife.com/newsletter
Social Media Links
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Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
Hey folks!
Hello beloved podcast listeners! Here it is, at long last (for us anyway!) - podcast episode 100! Question for you…. How do you honor the 100th time you do something? Just like with some other milestones, such as birthdays and New Years’ Day, in many respects it’s just another day. Likewise, in many ways episode 100 is just like any other episode! It has a beginning, a middle, one or several tangents, an ending, and it runs about an hour long.
There is, however, a bit of a different feeling with notable episodes like 100, as there are with birthdays and anniversaries. There is cause for a bit of celebration, because that is what we do as humans, and it might actually represent something else. Clearly, it seems… we’re all in! To do 100 of something, we think, means something. That’s not always easy to do! And there have been many times when we’ve started things that can be counted, and didn’t get to 100 before we, or it, flamed out.
What does it take then? Or, maybe better put, what does it mean to be all in? Lasting. Staying power. Commitment? Value and meaning? Purposefulness? Importance? Any, or all of these, may be true. We can do things 100 times, but what does it mean to do that with joy? That does tap into something deeper, we think.
Yet, there’s another side to facing the sustaining power of something. How do we keep it going - or do more than 100 repetitions of something - without expectations? What’s that? Are you wondering: what’s so bad about expectations??? It turns out that, sometimes, rather than adding something that sounds meaningful, like accountability or validation, we see that those expectations are external to us. To do things from a place of true joy, meaning, purpose, and value, is to do them for ourselves! It’s the doing that is the reward, not the metrics!
Expectations can set us up for challenge. Like we know what’s going to happen or something? We find we’re about as good at predicting the future as we can the weather! To release ourselves from expectation is to let go of what we think we know and can control, and to find true freedom in purpose. Surrender to the flow, y’all! And give this one a listen! We’d love to hear what you think!
Thanks, folks!
P + C
This Most Unbelievable Newsletter Signup!
If you’d like to get the Official TMUL Newsletter in your email inbox each and every month, click on the link below and sign up! All sorts of nifty tidbits in there in the months to come, including some guided meditations. Here’s the link!
https://www.thismostunbelievablelife.com/newsletter
Social Media Links
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Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
Hey folks!
Welp, we’ve done it! 99 Red Record Buttons later and we’re here: Episode 99! And here’s a spoiler: if you listen to this one all the way through, you’ll get to hear Paul’s excellent interpolation of “99 Red Balloons”! The same tune - in a totally new context!
And…well, that’s kinda the theme this week! We’re thinking about times with the work to be done and the context for doing that work needs a remix! Have you ever been in a situation where you’re really TRYING to do something and to get something done, but something feels like it’s in the way, or like you’re being blocked somehow from actually making progress or doing the thing that it is you’re trying to do? Well, if you’ve answered “yes” to this, us too!! Why is it that some events require a “change in location” in order to do the thing that could, by all appearances, could be done where you are, or anywhere for that matter? For example, hunkering down in a coffee shop to do some typing, or going to Massachusetts to sit on a cushion. When, and under what circumstances, are we in need of a little “change of scenery?,” or even a “change of venue?”
In this episode, Cheri and Paul talk through the many times that they have, in their lives, invoked different places to do some rather specific things. Why do some things work in some locations, but others work in other places? It is curious, isn’t it? Where is it that you do your work?
Give this one a listen! And…who knows…maybe you might try listening from a new location this week! If you do, let us know how that goes!
Thanks y’all!
P + C
This Most Unbelievable Newsletter Signup!
If you’d like to get the Official TMUL Newsletter in your email inbox each and every month, click on the link below and sign up! All sorts of nifty tidbits in there in the months to come, including some guided meditations. Here’s the link!
https://www.thismostunbelievablelife.com/newsletter
Social Media Links
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Support the Podcast!
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Have you ever attended an event wherein you find yourself with others gathered around a round table with tons of forks and spoons and the expectation for polite and witty dinner conversation? For us, as academics, we have found ourselves in these situations most commonly at conferences, but these circumstances often emerge at weddings, fundraisers, and probably on a number of other occasions, too. What we notice about ourselves is that we both itch at the awkwardness of polite conversation in these contexts AND find those experiences meaningful - even fun. Based on our unique personalities, histories, and experiences, anxiety can arise at situations like these, even though they’re meant to be “fun.” Sometimes they feel like these social situations are being imposed on us rather than offered.
We talk around these conversation occasions on today’s episode. How did we get to that topic, you ask? Well, there might be two reasons. We’re hoping to attend an academic conference in person this April and for us both it will be the first time we’ve participated in such an event in quite some time. Additionally, Paul just came from a retreat grounded in shared silence, and Cheri’s about to head off to one. In these spaces where silence is expected, we have come to find some peace and ease. Yet, similar experiences where the convention is to keep the conversation going, tend to unsettle us. We all show up differently for these situations that involve groups of people, and with different feelings and reactions. May we be kind to ourselves in these situations, and if you’re one of those folks who are perfectly comfortable in such a setting, be mindful that not everyone may be! Hold space lightly, and gently, for all.
Thanks folks!
P + C
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Ah! The first episode of 2022! This one’s an interesting exercise in time travel! We recorded it on December 27, knowing it will be released on January 4, while Paul is away at a meditation retreat! As a result, this episode bridges 2021 and 2022, and we’ve let that reality become the theme of the episode.
We look once more at New Year’s plans and traditions. What we notice is a tendency to look back and reflect, paired with a desire to long for a different future. So often as we prepare to enter a new year we do so by taking inventory of our successes and failures and making idealized visions for what might come next.
In this episode, we round out 2021 with a bit of gratitude for what’s unfolded along with an admission that: well, we couldn’t have predicted the year we had if we tried! We’re delighted by so much that we’ve had the opportunity to do, but find ourselves surprised by what we’ve experienced as a result of showing up for what unfolds rather than pressuring ourselves to make some kind of prescribed outcome happen.
Perhaps we walked away from this episode with this big point to ponder: what if we used the New Year transition as a moment to recognize and accept what is? Can we allow ourselves to just be with and witness what is for just a moment? It is with this intention we hope to come to the new year. Since we can control so little in life, we’re committed to witnessing what is and showing up fully and with curiosity to whatever unfolds before us.
May it be so!
So, fear listeners, as you listen, we ask you: What intention will you bring to this new season? Are you setting intentions that are kind to yourself and that will bring ease and joy to yourself? Or are you driving yourself toward some sense of “more” or “better” that might contribute to your suffering more so than your success?
Happy New Year, Everybody! We can’t wait to see what unfolds in 2022!
P+C
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Happy New Year, everyone, and welcome to the final episode of 2021! We recorded this one fresh on the heels of visiting places that we might call, “home,” as in, “home for the holidays” or something like that. As we talked through our respective trips and how they went, it became curious to us that it’s not quite clear what we mean by the word, “home,” and what actually defined that particular place? In other words, what defines “home?” What, exactly, are the properties of “home?”
Home might be where you grew up, where particular people are, a specific house, or where you are right now. It might be where your pets are, and it might be where your people are. However, we wonder, is it always “where the heart is?” In this last episode of 2021, we work through what home means to us, and where it is, and why that might be so. Maybe home was one thing or place, and maybe now it’s another. What associations do you have with “home”? Has it changed over the course of your life? Has your sense of home been fixed over your life, or have you noticed ways that it has evolved as circumstances in your life change? We think it’s a curious concept - one that’s sometimes reassuring, and also, maybe, at other times uncomfortable or awkward. Where is your home, and what does “home” mean to you? We’d love to hear how you associate with home!
Happy New Year, Everybody! We’ll see you soon!
P+C
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Episode 95 - Mindfulness and Resilience
Happy Solstice, everyone! This week, we’re sending out something a little different. A little while ago, Paul was afforded the opportunity to present for an annual Wellness Summit, and had the presence of mind to press the record button before he began! The episode for this week is that recording, and our own Cheri was kind enough to record an intro.
For a little context, the theme of this summit was “resilience,” a word that we’ve all heard quite often lately. Resilience is often thought of as something to get us through the hard times, but that’s not really it. Resilience, in its purest, most technically correct usage, is the act, or the art, of rebounding after the damage has been done. Because of this, resilience is often talked about after big tragic events or difficult times like the one we’re in now. However, there is great value in becoming familiar with resilience because even in the best of times, things can go awry and challenge us. What do we get from mindfulness in all of this? If we can learn to recognize challenges when they occur, and pay attention to how we react and respond to them, we might bring a little wisdom into exactly how that rebound takes shape. We might recognize that the form that we were in wasn’t serving us too well, or maybe it’s just time to make a few adjustments to how we’re living our lives while we have them. Mindfulness, as it were, brings order to resilience. It can bring structure to the new shape we wish to take.
We hope that you enjoy this one! It was recorded in mid-October, and now we present it to you for your consideration!
Again, happy solstice, and have a lovely day!
We’ll see you soon!
P+C
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Hello, all! Well, the inevitable is upon us, and who are we to not acknowledge it fully? The holiday season is fully here, and once again we feel whatever that need is to embrace tradition, and we consider how it is that we might fulfill and/or satisfy our real, or perceived, holiday obligations. Traditions are one thing, and they’re great! Many of us have traditions that have been passed down through time and generations, and they bring a certain meaning and flavor to the season. The obligation to satisfy them though. Now THAT can be stressy! Stressier than it needs to be, especially in times like these when so much seems in change, flux, and disarray.
How can we still make it feel like the holidays when there is so much unsettled stuff going on out there?
In this episode, we take this apart a little big, and begin where I think all respectable treatments of holiday tradition might begin - by acknowledging that we have traditions, and identifying them, no matter how untraditional they might be! All traditions start as a thing that happens for the first time. If you find yourself unable to satisfy all of your holiday traditions, just think… this could be the beginning of a new one! They can be respected without being sacred, and in the end, the tradition isn’t really the point anyway, is it?
Your traditions might be set in stone, with all the stops pulled out to ensure commitment to their satisfaction, or your holiday tradition might even be that you don’t have traditions, and therefore the obligation might be to not do the same thing two years in a row! Whatever the case, we hope you are having a wonderful holiday season, and find some space and some ease that refreshes and relaxes the hardened, overworked soul.
We’ll see you soon!
P+C
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Hello, everyone, and happy December! Well, has it been? Has it been happy? What about joyful? Is your month starting off full of joy? Are you noticing when joy emerges or when it seems to be in short supply?
This podcast episode emerged from an unexpectedly joyful experience Cheri had recently…in a Lyft. Her driver was the personification of joy! He insisted that although a prior passenger tried to steal his joy, he wasn’t going to let her! Instead, he both held onto it and was about to share it with Cheri and her fellow passenger, Beth, last Tuesday night.
Have you experienced joy in this manner? Do you notice when it seems infectious? Have you ever noticed how those who come to steal others’ joy don’t end up holding onto it for themselves?
As we move closer toward the darker days of fall and the often hectic close of the year, it can be hard to make space for joy and to both defend it and share it at the same time.
How are you navigating joy this season? Are you hoping to take it off the hands of someone else? Or are you finding ways to cultivate it with those around you?
Joy is an intentional practice. It’s not one we have all figured out, but we do delight in times where it seems to come easily!
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Hello dear listeners! Have you ever had that situation where someone says something to you, and you’re just left thinking… “why would they say that???” Sometimes it’s not just what they say, but also how they say it, and sometimes even that is innocuous enough, and the weirdness is just the identity of the person saying it! It’s so funny all the variables that play into how stuff, like words, land for us when offered by those around us.
Of course, sometimes folks say things to us that are unarguably mean spirited. In these situations, the intent is clearly to cause suffering and harm, for whatever unfortunate reason that might be. Somehow, although unpleasant, it can almost be easier to abide with this situation than ones when our family, friends, and colleagues say something that hits in a particularly surprising way. We value friendships, and we don’t like to lose them, so we think a little bit more about the intentions behind how things are offered. Are they striving to demonstrate knowledge? Is it a play for power or acknowledgement of authority? Are they just in pain and are looking for someone to sympathize with them? All these options, and then some, can be real.
Things land in funny ways, and sometimes it’s them, and sometimes it’s us. Of course, it’s also true that sometimes the thing that is said that doesn’t land quite right comes from us! In this episode, we talk through many of the complexities behind why folks say the things they do, and why things land the way they do when they’re heard. It’s a big topic so we cannot claim to totally put this one to bed, but we take a good shot at it. We may do a follow-up to this one!
Thanks all! What do you think?
P + C
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Hello, dear podcast listeners, and welcome to episode 91!
It’s Thanksgiving week here in the U.S., and many of us are gearing up for holiday festivities with friends and family. For some, there may be traveling, food in abundance, and friends and family galore! What better time for a light-hearted conversation about boundaries? We realized in the run-up to this episode that we’ve talked around this topic before, but really haven’t come out and said, “hey, this episode is about boundaries!” We’ve talked through many, if not all, of the components of a conversation about boundaries. It turns out, to take those components -- such as, how to say “no,” the art of the slow yes, recognizing exhaustion, how to communicate and advocate for yourself -- and put them together into a unified whole is a “some assembly required” situation! There are many parts to a conversation about boundaries, with several skills needed in order to do it smoothly, and rigorously.
In this episode, we hit on another topic that is actually quite related! And that’s been on Paul’s mind lately: the notion that a job is kind of just a mechanism that converts time into money. Specifically, it converts your time into money that you want, or need, to live. Do you feel stuck, or unsatisfied with your job? Do you wish for more? Is the conversion from time into money working efficiently, or is the machine starting to heat up a little, or showing signs of wear and tear? Can the machine be repaired, or is it time to find a different machine?
It’s also possible that we’re expecting something out of the machine that it just doesn’t do! How do we set up that boundary of expectation, which can lead to a new truth about who we are and what we want in this world?
Thanks all! We hope you have a lovely Thanksgiving!
*** In this episode, we talked a little bit about the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving Special, in which we accused Lucy of flipping out about the Thanksgiving Dinner of popcorn and toast. FACT - it was actually Peppermint Patty, and we offer our sincerest apologies to Lucy. There are actually some good lessons about boundaries in this episode as well! Video linked below!
Where’s the Pumpkin Pie? - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opN9NxqVCMM
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Episode 90 - Trying and The Wisdom of Yoda
November. Ah, the month where we get to start saying: “goodness, it sure is getting dark early, ain’t it?” We in Virginia come to notice this phenomenon, of course, as a result of the shift in time that’s experienced as we shift the clocks for Daylight Savings. It’s a curious thing, Daylight Savings, if you really think about it. Observing this shift, of course, comes from humanity’s attempt to try to solve a struggle observed in society.
In this episode, we use this as a jumping off point for looking into what it means to “try.” Have you ever thought about what’s implied when you say you’re going to “try” to do something versus when you just saying you’re going to do it? We ask: is resistance and struggle inherent to how we experience what it means to “try”!
You might say this is an episode that tries to unpack Yoda’s sage advice about doing versus trying!
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Hello listeners!
If you are a frequent listener to this podcast, you probably know by now that we take great pride in trying to do a good job of it! From interesting and timely content and topics, to the quality of the audio, we do our best to create a delightful and informative, possibly thought provoking experience for you. We think we usually do a pretty good job of it, yet, there is an occasional temptation to work to improve what we offer. This isn’t a bad thing! Of course we want this podcast to be a quality experience. Fact is, with a podcast, improving it often becomes an exercise or practice of self-exploration. How do we become “better” podcasters? If we did this, this, and this, if we improved these things, we would be better! I mean, self-improvement is a noble pursuit, right? It seems that having an eye toward self-improvement can only be a good thing!
Yet, we ask, what happens when self-improvement is converted into a reward system of hustle culture? When self-improvement becomes a list of things we “should,” do to be better, we can accidentally run into an unintended backside of, “if I think I should improve on this, that must mean I’m not good at it now,” and that be a little bit weaponized. Also, when the idea of self-improvement turns into a hustle and grind of meeting everyone’s expectations at all costs for a reward or for recognition, our health can go right out the window along with our sense of self-esteem and self-worth. In that light, everything can become a little dangerous. If we think we live in a reward system where the metrics of self-improvement are measured by the standards, and the potential gains of others, the innocent striving toward self-improvement can turn into worry, anxiety, and exhaustion.
How might we safely, kindly, and compassionately self-improve? Give this episode a listen and let us know what you think! We hope you love this one! We tried to do our best. :-)
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Many of us, beginning at the time we are born, are told what to do, what we should do, what work is important, and which jobs and careers are the best ones to have. Jobs, careers, and livelihoods are sold to us as packaged items from which to choose from, and how to best prepare ourselves to qualify for a particular one. Some of us even took a test in high school which told us which careers were best suited to our “interests,” and some of us have parents and grandparents often telling us outright which jobs we should have, and push us in a particular direction. No wonder, then, we become a little confused, or disoriented, when all the perks and benefits of a particular job or career don’t quite satisfy us, or we feel like we’re somehow not quite living to our hearts desires. This can cause questions to arise.
What, exactly, is my work to do?
For such a short sentence, there sure is a lot here! Everywhere we look, it seems, there is work to be done. Just about everything could use a bit of a helping hand it seems. However, what, of all of this work to be done, is MY work to do? How do I discover what it is that I should actually do. Just because we see or feel that something needs to get done, that doesn’t mean that it’s MY work to do. We need “someone” to do all sorts of things. What is it that needs to happen that needs ME?
In this episode, Paul and Cheri pick this question apart a little bit, and talk through their discovery process on what is the work to do, what is THEIR work to do, and how that discernment process might look. We’re all about helping folks find their path and follow their heart, but we also gotta pay the bills! What, indeed, is the thing to be done?
We hope you like this one! How do you discover your work to do? We’d love to hear about it!
P + C
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What, dear listener, does it mean to be “resilient,” and what, exactly, is “resilience” anyway? As many of us may find ourselves encountering a form of return, or re-emergence from (or event within!) pandemic life, we might be led to believe that resilience is something like grit, tenacity, or toughness while something difficult or downright traumatizing may be ongoing. We do live in a society that will encourage us to push on, power through and always be at the top of our game.
Interestingly, resilience isn’t grit. It’s not maintenance of the status quo. No, resilience, as the Oxford English Dictionary will tell you, is defined as follows:
The quality or fact of being able to recover quickly or easily from, or resist being affected by, a misfortune, shock, illness, etc.; robustness; adaptability.
Reading this definition, we’re led to notice that this thing isn’t about staying safe and functional during a trauma or difficulty at all! No, resilience isn’t about that. Resilience is about how you can bounce back. It’s not about not getting knocked down. It’s about who you want to be when you get back up. It’s about finding the shape of your life moving forward, not trying to keep things under our control along the way. Resilience is about re-emergence, and a gateways on how to do that, on how to start that process, are awareness, and communication.
We’ve talked on this podcast before about Non-Violent Communication, and we talk about meditation and awareness-building all the time. How do we practice and leverage these skills to build and employ resilience? In this episode, we talk about exactly that! We hope you enjoy!
P + C
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Have you ever wondered what life is like for the extras in a movie? Or what life is like for the friend or the sidekick? Oftentimes, it seems to us, we don’t imagine ourselves as the side character in this saga called life. Instead, we might be tempted to greet each day as though the camera is focused on us and asking for a perfect take on the action of our life.
If we bring a little honesty, humility, and even humor to this consideration, however, we might realize: we’re not the star of the show at all!
And what a relief! If you’re not the star, you get to take a break! You don’t need to be perfection; you can embrace the comfort of being out of the limelight!
What if you woke up each day aiming for imperfection? What if you could find comfort in being part of the ensemble cast instead of striving to earn the leading role?
Well, that’s the invitation in this podcast. Join us in this funny little narrative called life as we uncover what moments are breathtaking and perfect and find space to embrace the mediocre, the melodramatic, the mundane, and everything in between!
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Hi folks! This episode comes with a bit of a trigger warning! In this episode of the TMUL podcast on storytelling, some tales were told that describe some minor, but memorable injuries that one or the other of us have suffered in our lives. No worries though, no surprises here. We tucked those away at the end of the episode and if that’s not your jam, feel free to skip that last part. I give a warning right before we get into it so you’ll have a heads up. And with that being said...
If you’ve been listening to this podcast for a little while, you might have heard us talk about “the stories we tell” to ourselves and to one another. At times, our thinking brains can lead us down story paths that don't serve us particularly well. We know this tendency is alive in us! Yet…it doesn’t mean we stop telling those stories!
Storytelling seems to be quite baked into our humanity. It’s been with us throughout history - and, in fact, is the reason we have a historical account of anything in the first place! Therein lies an interesting paradox: stories don’t always serve us well; yet we seem incapable of living without them!
How do we live in this tension? Well, that’s the question this podcast leads to - but not yet the one we can say we answer! Instead, join us this week as we explore some of our own favorites uncomfortable stories to share and retell (many with medical ties!) as well as some consideration of why we tell stories and what role they play in helping humans relate to one another in their communities!
In the end, we invite you to think alongside us: what does it mean to be a responsible and compassionate storyteller, in the stories you tell yourself, in the stories you share with others and with the stories about others that you share?
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Episode 84 - We're Not Meant to Do This Alone!
Throughout the last 18 months, one obvious and particular question about our shared existence on this planet has been laid bare, front and center, and asked for all to answer with their own experience: what is the value of participating in shared experience? Paul mentioned a couple of episodes ago that he doesn't like the phrase "social distancing." He much prefers something more like, "physical distancing," which may more accurately describe what we've all been asked to do. Physical distancing may be mandatory (and we would argue rightly so!), but "social distancing" may be more optional. Can we be physically distant while intentionally cultivating social connection, or is the proverbial baby indeed thrown out with the bathwater?
We might not like e-meetings, or video conferencing, all that much, but for some, it has provided a platform where we can keep the bonds of social, and professional interaction, alive and kicking, if not exactly thriving. Regardless of whether we like it or not, it has brought at least one thing to our attention: the importance of intention, and the intentions that we set when entering shared spaces. This, by the way, includes both physical spaces as well as e-spaces! Whereas we could do all of this on Zoom, why do we put off a wedding until it is safe to do so? Why do we meet safely in person when we could just as easily do an e-lunch? What makes us itch to be in physical space together when the “work” of the gathering can take place over distance? What are the things that we do and what intention do we bring when we opt to gather together? What does it take to manifest that best intention and really bring it to life? In this episode we talk it out as best we know, and we hope you enjoy this one!
Take care, folks!
P + C
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Once upon a time, Paul "shoulded" us! Can you believe that? It’s true. And what did he insist we should DO? Write excellent shownotes for each of our episodes! From the very beginning, we’ve not been content with simply offering a podcast to the world, but we’ve felt we SHOULD provide our listeners with great shownotes. No one asked us to. No one has told us these notes are important (or unimportant). We have decided for ourselves that they matter and - at times - heaped some extra pressure on ourselves for the value judgments we make about the quality of our notes and WHEN these here notes get written!
Although it might sound a bit meta: this phenomenon is exactly what this episode is about! In this one we take a look at how reflection and self-examination work in relationship to evaluation and value judgment. Can we observe ourselves without judgement? And we use reflection as a tool to inform the future rather than as a weapon against our past self?
The reality is that we need not assign value to ourselves over how well we nail our day to day experiences…or our weekly episode shownotes! In fact, in terms of these notes: we might do well to write them and release them to the world without associating them with a sense of worthiness!
However, so often that’s not how we humans work! We tell stories about who we are and how worthy we are based upon how we show up in the world and the criteria we deem valuable.
Can you observe without judgement? Can you reflect without weaponizing? What does compassionate reflection look like in you?
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Hello listeners! Here it is: the last episode before we pivot into Fall (and thus into season 7)!
As has been a trend in many episodes as of late, this one was recorded right on the heels of some travel by Paul to visit some family. What’s special about this bit of travel, however, was that, as so often happens in this life, things did not end up going exactly as anticipated.
It’s ok! It’s fine… everything is fine… but there was a delayed flight that was eventually canceled, an extra night in Saint Louis, a rescheduled flight, much more time than anticipated in O’Hare airport, and an arrival at home on Wednesday rather than Tuesday. All of this represented many opportunities to observe, pivot, adjust, adapt, and reorient to something else. Sure it was unexpected. Yes, what happened wasn’t what was supposed to” go do. Yet, life has a tendency to unfold as it will - regardless of our shoulds and supposed tos! Paul got a chance...many chances actually...to cultivate a practice of flexibility. This bit of travel offered ample opportunities to practice adjusting to something… different. And, as an intended podcast recording date was lost somewhere in the midst of his travel, Cheri got (a far more luxurious) opportunity to practice some flexibility as well!
Being adaptable and flexible as life unfolds can be sticky. In some cases, we’re willing to lean into whatever may come. Other times we really feel much rides on how things “ought” to unfold. Adjusting isn’t always comfortable to do without some resistance, especially at the end of a trip to see family when everyone involved is thinking about getting back home and back to work. How might we make these transitions as… well, not necessarily easier…probably not more comfortable...but maybe at least as painless as possible.
As stated in the episode, you can “should have” yourself all you want, but afterward, you’ll always find yourself in exactly the same place you are, having made no real progress toward pivoting to a resolution. Sometimes that’s ok though. Some sudden changes can take a moment or two to fully understand, process, internalize or even mourn if needed. On most occasions, even when we successfully pivot in the face of a sudden, unanticipated, or unexpected change, it can take a minute to let the pivot reorient itself within us and settle. In these cases it’s not a bad thing to ask for a few minutes to pause, breathe, and get in line with the new flow. It’s worth doing, because like it or not, that’s what seems to be happening, and joy can still be found in the most unexpected places!
Thanks for listening, all! We hope you like this one!
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Hey folks!
Here's a question for you! What is the magic that you are interested in beginning to the world today? Is it the magic that you are supposed to do? Need it be done the way it's “supposed” to look? Or is what you bring to light in your life what you WANT to do, done the way that only you can do it? Is the magic in your objective, or is it in your method? Is the secret in the unveiling, or is it in the work that is done along the way? If we think about it, it's not so much the pulling of the rabbit out of the hat that is the THING in that trick. That's just the part that other people see! It’s what creates that sense of magic. The REAL magic is in getting the rabbit into the hat in the first place! As it turns out, and as we talk through in this episode, it might not actually be the end goal that represents the magic that you bring to this life.
We so often think of a desired outcome, and immediately envision a "right" way to achieve it. Stuff looks like what it does, but it's often the stuff going on behind the scenes, off-camera, under your skin, or when nobody is really looking or paying attention that represents the unique magic that you do. The way that one person does a thing might not look anything like how another person does it, and that can be totally ok! When we think about whether or not we're doing something "right," is that based on how that something looks? Or what others tell us about what it’s meant to look like? Or is it based on what happens as a result of the process that unfolds? We’re happy you’re here to listen to our thoughts on this matter! And we'd love to hear your thoughts on this subject! There's a lot of potential to be haunted by the "should's'' in this episode. What is the right way to do a thing? Maybe it's totally up to you. Seriously, who else could really know?
Thanks for listening, all!
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Lately, Paul and Cheri have been thinking of this podcast as a historical narrative of the pandemic - from Episode 1, which we recorded on the last week of February 2020, and weekly since then. From episode to episode, what was it like for us? What were we seeing, feeling, and thinking? What did we notice, and what were we not noticing? Throughout all of it, we wondered: when will it end, and what will be there for us on the other side? Well, we’re not out of the woods yet… the Delta variant continues to upend plans and reshuffle timelines. There are conversations about booster shots, and mask mandates continue to be a contentious issue. Inevitably, though, something will start to resemble the other side, and we may have found it with this week’s recording.
What’s the “it” here? Well, folks, the somewhat inevitable has finally occurred! Cheri and Paul are teaching, once again, on campus. There has been so much talk lately about what it would be like to be in a classroom again, or in an office again, or at a major event again, after so much time away, and understandably so! It's really impossible to guess what the level of comfort or anxiety will really be felt until we find ourselves there in the mix. Will we enter and carry ourselves with cautious dread and worry? Or will we just slip right back into it all - habits, patterns, and customs - just as we left them? Might we discover ourselves somewhere in between these extremes? We both discovered our versions of the answer to this question recently and, in this episode, we talk it through and try to sort it all out what we are noticing!
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Hello listeners! One of the things that we notice when we talk to folks, when we talk to each other, when we're in groups having a chat, or even when we're alone in our own thoughts and experiences, stories seem to be at the center of everything! We tell stories about ourselves; we tell stories about each other. Story serves many functions: it works as news, as gossip, as a way to bond, and even as a way to disagree with each other. For whatever reason, with us as a species, there is something about the story that lies at the heart of who we are, what we do, and even how we see and define ourselves. Which brings us to the topic of...
Anxiety.
As educators, we encounter anxieties in our students, in our colleagues, and in ourselves, all the time. Most of what we think we see around us every day is mediated by us all trying to have our needs met, and finding freedom from our anxiety can be a big part of those needs. In this episode, we talk through anxiety as we've known it, as we experience it, and what we do in times when it seems to rear up a little. We hope you enjoy listening to this one as much as we did recording it! Let us know what you think.
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So, folks… fear.
Fear is a big one! When we look around, we might see it, or signs of it, everywhere. Why do people do so many of the destructive things that they do? What is the basis for all of the political discord we see in the world today? Why do we feel like it’s so dangerous to go outside, or to a social event, or to a school or campus? Why do things feel so… scary? Sometimes, we assure you, some of these fears are quite real and bubble up in us for good reasons! One of the examples that Paul often brings up is that it’s fearful to go 100 MPH on the highway… for good reason! Fears can keep us alive. Fear can keep us safe. Fear is a response to things observed, in the context of who we see ourselves to be - and what we see as being our human limitations!
Fear, if nothing else, is informative.
So what are you afraid of, and why? When fear arises, what does that tell you about yourself, your history, your daily reality, your image of yourself, your values, and the things that you hold to be important? What, after all, is there to be afraid of unless you have something to lose, and what do your fears tell you about what you find to be important? Maybe the point of all of this fear exploration isn’t so much getting rid of fear or even finding ways to power through fear. Maybe the thing to do right now is to notice our feel and how it rises to our awareness. it’s just one of the many reflections and vibrations of who we are right now, the life we have lived, and the experiences that have shaped us into who we are. Are some fears “irrational”? Well, maybe. So what if they are! They can still feel real- even if we can’t explain our fears to the person next to us. We’re all wired and experienced a little differently.
Except with heights, the dentist, and worms. Paul thinks those are always rational fears! While Cheri’s starting to think most fears are constructed…even though that doesn’t make her fearless! Not in the least!
Enjoy the episode, folks! Let us know what you think!!
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This week we’re releasing something a bit different, folks! Different... but we hope you’ll find it useful, no matter who you are! What we have here is actually a recording of a presentation Cheri gave with her professional academic hat on. She gave a plenary talk at Old Dominion University's Annual Spring Conference on the Teaching of Writing on April 16, 2021. This talk was aimed toward educators, specifically, writing faculty, but we think there are a lot of nuggets in it for everyone.
At its heart, this talk is about how we choose our way of being in the world. Cheri talks through some of her own experiences shifting from a human doing to a human being. She offers that there is as much to unlearn in pursuit of a wonderful life as there is to learn. Where are we to begin when we feel called in so many competing directions that simple survival feels like the best we might hope for? This presentation looks to nature for lessons to guide the way. While most of the species we share this earth with seem to accept the realities of the seasons and allow themselves to live within (or have no means to resist) that cyclical flow, we humans manufacture our preferred conditions. Together, Cheri invites us to imagine a path that considers how we manufacture our spaces and that makes space to embrace the cyclical nature of our world, ourselves, and our work in the world.
What do you believe it would take to live your most unbelievable life? What would you need to unlearn to set yourself on that path? No matter your industry or way of being in life, we suspect you might have a thing or two about your way of being that’s come along for the ride and just isn’t serving you, or your most unbelievable life, anymore. We’d love to hear how you might apply some of Cheri’s observations to your own context!
We hope you’ll listen and connect with us after!
A couple of notes for context: At the start of the presentation Cheri references Dr. Kevin DePew, her dissertation director, who provided her introduction just before the recording began. While Cheri does a pretty good job talking through content she puts on her slides during presentations, you might like to follow along with her slide deck on your own as you listen. And finally, she uses the acronym WPA throughout her discussion, which is shorthand for writing program administration or writing program administrators, depending on the usage! With those notes: now you’re an insider and ready to give it a listen!
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Welp, as the title pretty clearly states, this is a conversation about how we identify ourselves, and each other, and what that does to us. At the beginning of just about every episode, and for no real reason that we ever thought too deeply about, we refer to each other as, “Dr. Spiegel,” and “Dr. Fitzgerald.” This, of course, is not what a lot of folks these days mean when they talk about identification. This titular example here is just what is called, “honorifics,” the titles that we call ourselves and each other in context. Although not as deeply personal as other possible identifiers, such as those regarding sex, gender, and other preferred pronouns, it does provide an entry point into a conversation into these deeper, less contextual levels of identification, along with all the uncomfortable stuff that a lot of folks don’t really talk too much about in those conversations.
What happens when we are referred to using an identifying descriptor that we really don’t love, or that just flat out doesn’t describe who we see ourselves to be at all? How do we clear that preference, or that reality, up with folks, despite the fact that doing so may cause some distress to them, to us, to everyone? Our answers may be imperfect, but we take a start at it, and we’d love to hear what you think!
Thanks for listening folks!
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After a couple of weeks of summer travel and the logistical challenges of coordinating recording times, we’re back to our regular routine! A normal podcast recording session, and a return to the comfort of doing things in ways that we’re familiar with for quite some time!
Those words in bold face type above…. Yeah, we’ve been hearing those words quite a lot lately, haven’t we? Examples include, “going back to the office,” “getting back to normal,” and for some of us educator folk, “return to campus.” While there’s no shortage of talk and type spent these days on what emerges “post-pandemic,” and how, and when, we can use those temporarily abandoned office spaces and campuses, there is deeper, more personal conversation to be had just surrounding the use of these words and phrases - going back, return to normal, and return to...well, any place! In some ways (or maybe in many ways!) these phrases seem to us… regressive, and we’re beginning to realize that using them to describe what might happen can have a way of limiting the potential of new ways of doing things.
For example, “going back into the office,” if we just take that word, “back,” out of there, it just becomes, “going into the office.” Trivial semantics? Maybe. Tiny detail? Maybe not! Back, return, and especially “normal” have a way of implying that this pesky pandemic was a blip in the system, and we can all just sort-of forget about it and get on with our lives. What emerges as we re-enter shared spaces, however, might be a little trickier than that, and there is potential here, as we do re-enter these spaces, to examine and drop, or at least carefully consider, some habits that may not have been serving us before, and to adopt some new ways of being, and operating with spaces and others, that may have been long overdue.
Check this one out and let us know what you think!
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Now you see, there are plans that we can make, and everybody loves a plan, right? There’s comfort in knowing what is going to happen, at least approximately; it can feel fantastic! This knowing can provide a sense of safety: we can prepare for it, we can set some expectations on when, where, and how things might progress, and we can see it as a sign that we must be doing something right. Making plans, regardless of whether they’re long-term or short-term, is, in a way, the definition of predicting the future. We speak into the universe: “This is what I’m going to do. This is how it’s going to go. This is the future I’m going to build with it, and LET’S GET STARTED!!!”
FACT – very few of our plans actually work out like we hope that they will.
A great philosopher, boxer Mike Tyson, once said, “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” So often, at the first sign of something not quite going as expected, the whole thing can come off the rails. To have a plan, and achieve satisfaction, is to accept some flexibility in how that might go, and how the whole business might unfold. What is it like to actually have a plan, and build some flexibility into the plan, while at the same time, reserving the right to change it if it ever starts going wrong, without the whole thing coming apart? It seems like walking a tightrope for sure, and in this episode, we talk it through and compare how we walk that line with our own plans.
Very few things ever go exactly as planned. Yet, here we are! Find out how, honor your resiliency, and let us know what you think of this one!
For a Deeper Dive...
TMUL’s own Dr. Cheri Spiegel just posted an awesome blog on seeing who shows up, and recognizing what they bring with them. You can check that out by clicking HERE! It’s a good one!!!
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Hey all! Well, that’s a curious title for a podcast episode, isn’t it??? Cheri hopes you read it with the cadence of this seemingly unrelated (but perhaps quite parallel) Monty Python skit. So what's hanging out in your fridge? Is it all full of life and potential? Or has much passed its prime?
Dedicated listeners may have noticed that recently we’ve seemed more like a cooking / food podcast as much as anything else! Food analogies have been running rampant on this show, and that may be for a couple of reasons: the varieties of foods that are available throughout the summer, the seasonality of moving from cool weather into warm, and, of course, Paul’s garden has been talked about at least once per episode these days. In this episode, we don’t focus on a recipe or a cultivation aspect as we have been; rather, in this episode, we take on the complexities of your refrigerator - both your literal one, and, of course, your metaphorical (or metaphysical?) one!
So what do you have in your refrigerator, how did it get there, and what is your plan for it? Will those items be used or enjoyed one day soon, as intended? Or is are a few things soon to be unceremoniously tossed in when it becomes clear that their purpose in your life has expired and they must meet their fate in the bin? Also, and this is the big one that we tackle in this episode, are items taking up space that you would rather use for something else? In this one we think through how we often hang onto things that might prevent us from being able to use coveted and limited space in our life. Are we hanging onto the old instead of making room for something more life-nourishing? Also, of course, we want to acknowledge that you can always just use that new space reclaimed from a good fridge-cleaning for…. Nothing! Maybe it’s ok to have a fridge with space in it, unclaimed and uncluttered. Embrace that spaciousness!
When might you do this fridge cleaning? Paul thinks that July 1 is a good day to do it, and he explains why that date makes sense in this episode! Check it out, and let us know how this one lands!
P.S. - There is mention of an upcoming blog post from Paul in this episode… stay tuned!!! Coming soon to a webpage near you!
For a Deeper Dive...
TMUL’s own Dr. Cheri Spiegel just posted an awesome blog on seeing who shows up, and recognizing what they bring with them. You can check that out by clicking HERE! It’s a good one!!!
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Episode 72 - We're Still Talking about Shepherd's Pie! Shepherd’s Pie… or is it Cottage Pie… Paul’s still not entirely sure exactly what the distinction is, but Cheri knows it has something to do with a choice of meat. What we both do know is that it’s usually not an item baked in an oven in the middle of Summer when it’s over 90 degrees outside. Shepherd’s Pie is more of a fall / winter comfort food. So what does it mean when we feel the urge for this crap up in the warmer months, and does it mean that we’re looking for comfort? It’s not unreasonable, right? With all of this reopening, and with vaccinations rates increasing (hopefully!), there seems to be an air of celebration and relief as we confront the phrase, “back to normal.” However, it’s hard to ignore the curious anxiety that arises when the realities of reopening come into focus. When the pandemic began, comfort, and the difficult changes that came with it, called for comfort where it could be found, however it could be found. What does comfort look like now that there is a push to reopen our society, and where will new kinds of comfort be called for? What are the discomforts that will arise or are already popping up?
In this podcast, we talk through some of the things we’ve noticed with the increased reopening of the communities we live in, and not all of them are easy and comfortable! We’re not just talking about going into a crowded concert venue here… We’re talking about walking into the grocery store without a mask on! Eye contact with a stranger… what’s that??? When the pandemic started, the changes that we made were around long enough to create new habits and expectations of human interaction. What happens when we change those again? Are we up for a new, new normal? Take a listen to this episode, and let us know where you find your discomfort in this calculus.
But this is really just a conversation about Shepherd’s Pie, right?
For a Deeper Dive...
TMUL’s own Dr. Cheri Spiegel just posted an awesome blog on seeing who shows up, and recognizing what they bring with them. You can check that out by clicking HERE! It’s a good one!!!
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Paul and Cheri recorded a podcast commercial!!!
As much as we would like to announce that it went great and that it’s ready for deployment, we have to admit... it did not go as planned. Part of the reason why that might be because, well, it wasn’t planned! So much of what we do comes naturally, spontaneously, with flow, purpose, and ease, we thought, well, this probably will as well… let’s give it a shot!
Many, many takes later, we started to realize that we might have to come back to this. Then came the introspection - what were we doing wrong, and what does it all mean? This episode is about exactly that. When something like this doesn’t go as planned, and rather than success, all you’re left with is some frustration and doubt, what is going on there? Why didn’t that thing that we were trying to do work, and could we have predicted that? Were there signs that we might have missed? What combination of events and circumstances went into that happening, and that outcome? Check out this episode and see if you relate! We’ve all had times when we tried to do something, and it just didn’t work out. Here is our story about that time we tried to record a commercial!
Outtakes may be posted soon!
For a Deeper Dive...
TMUL’s own Dr. Cheri Spiegel just posted an awesome blog on seeing who shows up, and recognizing what they bring with them. You can check that out by clicking HERE! It’s a good one!!!
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Hi listeners! There’s this funny word that gets used quite often, more specifically in gardening, and more broadly and generally in the context of self-reflection, contemplation, and wellness, that Paul had always found curious. That word is “cultivation.” When we cultivate the garden, that looks like one thing, and there is a tool for that. What does it mean to cultivate in the context of self? What does that look like, and what is really going on when we do it? Cultivating? For what? Is something going to grow if we prepare and tend to ourselves?
So that’s what this episode is about - the practice of cultivation. As you might imagine, this requires a bit of honest self-reflection, some intentionality, maybe a dash or two of discipline, and, maybe even the courage to imagine your cultivated self, fully tended, bearing the fruits of this courageous work.
What do you need to get started? Now, let’s take an honest and compassionate look at those weeds. What is the work to be done here?
For a Deeper Dive...
For a recent blog on cultivation : https://www.thismostunbelievablelife.com/blog/cultivator
Also, Cheri just recently published a piece in the journal Teacher-Scholar-Activist which perfectly exemplifies cultivation, and how it can play out in someone’s life. Check that one out by clicking HERE.
Paul’s Cultivator of Choice : https://www.lowes.com/pd/CRAFTSMAN-Wood-Handle-Cultivator/1000752676
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We both play chess, but we’ve never played one another. It might be better that we never know who would win if we decided to battle it out in that way! Even so - in a few curious ways, this episode reflects the dynamics of a game of chess quite nicely. First of all - it’s about the space we take up in life. If you know chess, you know that each piece gets a square of their own - no matter what type of position that piece holds within the game, they are entitled to exactly one square at a time. Humans, however, don’t always operate this way.
Here, together, we explore who, in life, takes up space at the margins or the corners of our society, rather than taking a place within the center of the playing field. We think about how folks navigate space within social and business settings. If you were to imagine yourself as a player on the chessboard, what piece would you select as representative of how you navigate the communities you operate within today? Though we never frame it in chess piece terms, we do explore some related questions: What does it take for us to feel most comfortable speaking up within a setting? Where do we feel most comfortable adding our own voices? What fears or concerns about our participation in group settings drive how we operate within spaces?
By the midway part, we’ll fess up to what interesting experiment made this episode even more chess-like! But we don’t want to spoil it by telling you too much here. Just listen in and tell us what you hear! What do you observe in our early conversation? And how does our reveal at the midway point shape your own understanding about taking up and sharing space with one another in this world? We can’t wait to debrief on our experiment with you!
Is it checkmate, stalemate, or something else altogether?
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Hello listeners! Did you ever quit something? Before we get started, I have to admit that of all of our episodes, the title of this one might be my favorite! A whole episode on how to quit! Yikes! Quitting has some pretty serious, if not outright extreme, connotations to it, doesn't it? I didn't resign, I quit! Did I step down from that position, or did I just quit? Was the job not the right fit, so I'm taking some time to reconsider my options, or did I... you got it... or did I quit? Moving on from something to do something else is one thing. Quitting, however, seems entirely different.
It sounds less like a career move, and more like defiance, and defiance doesn't come from a cost-benefit analysis, and it doesn't arise as a result of an intellectual conclusion. Defiance comes from the heart, and from the soul.
Sometimes, maybe it's time to just QUIT!
So what does it mean to actually quit, and when, why, under what circumstances, and how, might you do it? Can any good come from such an act of finality, and defiance? It might come as no surprise that we might suggest in this episode that the answer is... yes! If you're thinking about quitting something that isn't working, but you're not really sure, how can you really find that out? What are the questions that you might ask yourself that can help you get some clarity on whether or not it's time to quit? I mean, nobody likes a quitter, right, but what if quitting actually means putting an end to NOT listening to your true calling, and to stay means to give up on your goals, your dreams, and your true sense of purpose and self?
What if staying in that situation means quitting on yourself?
Give this episode a listen if you will, and let us know what you think!
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We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
What is the relationship between creativity, safety, and fear? That is the question that we explore in this episode, as we’ve noticed that creativity often emerges at times when it’s “safe” to do so. Is the brain really such a “one-trick horse” that it can do fear and worry, or creativity, but not both simultaneously? Does a sense of safety lend itself to the ability to focus, and therefore allow the brain / mind to come up with novel ideas and perspectives? This podcast, now at 67 episodes and counting, serves as a testament to that relationship. So, we wonder: how we could test that???
Well, it turns out that we were given just that opportunity while recording this one. That’s right folks, it finally happened - and what more appropriate a time for it than while recording an episode about fear and creativity? Since this podcast began literally days before the pandemic lockdown began, all but two or three of these episodes have been recorded on Zoom. A stable and reliable platform indeed, but one that requires… um… electricity to operate. In other words, no power, no Zoom, and no recording, and what if this were to happen during a recording? We haven’t had to worry about this too much for the past year, so that’s great, but when it does happen, how do we react? How do we react to unexpected events that can play on fear, and hence, suppress creativity? To answer this question, we present to you, Episode 67! No worries… you’ll hear it when it happens. Enjoy!
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Episode 66 - What is Nonviolent Communication? Hey all! Welcome to June! Despite the unseasonable cold of the Memorial Day weekend here in the mid-Atlantic, it still marks the unofficial beginning of Summer. During this time, many folks plan for a little time away, where they can finally relax and get some rest and some much-needed relaxation. If you’ve ever tried to take a few days off, you might have discovered that sometimes they don’t always go as planned, and the days we set aside as being “off” don’t always meet our expectations. So often, all of our days, including the empty ones, end up getting filled with items from a “to-do” list. What is it that we really expect from our days off, and why do we sometimes feel like we need a recovery day from a vacation?
In this podcast, we talk through what might be going on here and suggest that the anxiety and discontent that some folks experience when attempting to have an empty day might be yet another phenomenon that we can chalk up to a communication problem. Wouldn’t it be great if we had a framework or a set of principles we could draw from to have these murky, uncomfortable conversations with ourselves and others? To that end, we present to you the principles of Nonviolent Communication, or NVC, as we understand them from our humble study thus far. NVC operates from the principle that all actions represent strategies to satisfy our needs, and this absolutely includes how we communicate what it is that we’re feeling, and what our needs with respect to those feelings really are. What would happen if we led from that place??? Check it out, and we hope you enjoy!
For more information about Nonviolent Communication, check out the following resources.
The Center for Nonviolent Communication
Rosenberg, Marshall B. Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. 3rd Edition. Encinitas, CA: PuddleDancer Press, 2003.
Sofer, Oren J. Say What You Mean. S.I.: Shambhala, 2018.
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Ok folks… READY… SET… aaaannd RELAX!!
So, did it work? Were you able to immediately drop into a state of sublime relaxation and clear-mindedness, or are you, like many, feeling like you’re constantly a little bit on, even during times intentionally set aside for recharging? Maybe it might take a couple of days of intentional relaxation to get to the state of recharge, or maybe even longer if you’ve been intentionally “on” for a while. Although it seems nice just to have an opportunity to sit and have nothing to do, many folks find that during those times a lot of anxious, nervous, jittery energy can come through us. We think, “I should be relaxing, yet, here I am, feeling anxious and jittery with nothing to do.” When in this state, we recommend bringing an intentionality to your relaxation practice.
Wait… practice? Are you saying that I need to practice relaxing?
In this episode, we talk through some of the things that we do to assist in that intentional unwinding. We’re certainly not asking you to overthink anything here. In fact, we find that when we intentionally engage in relaxation-type behaviors, we actually take up some practices that harken back to some of the most primal aspects of the human experience. We often engage in activities that, in some ways, really represent what it means to be human (think sitting around a campfire, under stars, cooking food over flames,...). We go through some examples, and we encourage you to take an inventory of the things that you do to help trigger a sense of release and unwind in you. Who knows? In these small moments we might discover that we’re human after all!
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Episode 63/64: Are Teachers Feeling Appreciation? Part 2 of a 2 Parter - The Heuristic! As promised, here is part two the episode on teacher appreciation, wherein we introduce the heuristic! We recorded this one on the Friday of Teacher Appreciation Week, which just happened to occur, as it often does, the week of grade submissions at the institution where we both teach. We noticed an interesting juxtaposition that’s likely present every year: in our circles and on social media there was an influx of both posts calling for the importance of recognizing and appreciated the labor of teachers AND frustrated and, at times, pretty heartbreaking posts from educators who were just about at the end of their rope. The fact of the matter is: a week of appreciation is not enough to attend to the issues that make the teaching profession such a difficult one - and one wherein burnout is commonplace while sustainability seems illusive.
So - what are we to do? And are the issues that plague the teaching profession unique to our line of work - or can we see symptoms of them throughout our culture? Well, these are not issues we can address in one podcast! And, while we split our conversation into two episodes this week, they also not matters that can be solved in two!
What we do instead, is invite our listeners to hear more about our own experience with managing issues of labor, self, and working conditions. We then take space to walk through a heuristic (thinking tool) that we think might be of value for listeners, regardless of where (and if!) they work. We hope you’ll take a listen to both segments and continue the conversation with us on our social media outlets!
Related Episodes
If you’d like to explore this topic a little more with some previous episodes, please check out the following:
Episode 59 - Ways of Being
Episode 61 - Recognizing Habits for What They Are
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Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
Episode 63/64 - Are Teachers Feeling Appreciation? Part 1of a 2 Parter! This week you’re in for a bit of a cliffhanger! We recorded this one on the Friday of Teacher Appreciation Week, which just happened to occur, as it often does, the week of grade submissions at the institution where we both teach. We noticed an interesting juxtaposition that’s likely present every year: in our circles and on social media there was an influx of both posts calling for the importance of recognizing and appreciated the labor of teachers AND frustrated and, at times, pretty heartbreaking posts from educators who were just about at the end of their rope. The fact of the matter is: a week of appreciation is not enough to attend to the issues that make the teaching profession such a difficult one - and one wherein burnout is commonplace while sustainability seems illusive.
So - what are we to do? And are the issues that plague the teaching profession unique to our line of work - or can we see symptoms of them throughout our culture? Well, these are not issues we can address in one podcast! And, while we split our conversation into two episodes this week, they also not matters that can be solved in two!
What we do instead, is invite our listeners to hear more about our own experience with managing issues of labor, self, and working conditions. We then take space to walk through a heuristic (thinking tool) that we think might be of value for listeners, regardless of where (and if!) they work. We hope you’ll take a listen to both segments and continue the conversation with us on our social media outlets!
Related Episodes
If you’d like to explore this topic a little more with some previous episodes, please check out the following:
Episode 59 - Ways of Being
Episode 61 - Recognizing Habits for What They Are
Social Media Links
Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | Email
Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
Do we really need approval? What are we looking for when we seek approval from others in our lives? We have noticed a tendency to seek out approval - we notice it in our students, in people we love, and, well, in ourselves. Yet - what does it really accomplish when we seek approval? Does approval give anyone the kind of connection boost we humans really thrive upon? Why do we think we need approval? Believe it or not - our conversation about approval laid the foundation for a conversation about one of the most often mentioned and poorly defined concepts in both education and many other sectors as well.
What concept is that? Well, funny enough: it’s critical thinking. This conversation actually brought up a really curious idea! Is critical thinking, and the whole infrastructure of dialogue around it, really all there is to it, or all that it’s cracked up to be? What would our students, and ourselves, be capable of if they weren’t limited to only thinking? We talk through this point, and remember back on an earlier episode, which we titled, “The Rates of Things.” If we are truly capable of accessing, and considering, sources of information other than that of the thinking mind, how might our approach not only to education, but to literally everything we do, be different?
Thinking mind, you don’t always have to be in charge. Sure, you have some good ideas sometimes but have a seat, and give this podcast a listen. There are other things too.
Related Episodes
If you’d like to explore this topic a little more with some previous episodes, please check out the following:
Episode 15 - The Rates of Things
Episode 43 - Contemplative Composing
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Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
Hey folks! Do you have any habits that come to mind? If so, are they the good ones, like making your bed, or taking out the trash, or are they the “other” ones… the ones that not too many people know about, and that we like to keep to ourselves? Maybe it’s just a little thing that comes up every once in a while, or maybe it’s a doozy that might be grounds for more urgent attention. Whichever the case, does that habit actually meaningfully address the root cause of what it is that you’re feeling and need, or is it something that happens more unconsciously, or without consideration for any sort of bigger picture of what is happening in your life? Is whatever it is contributing to solutions that add to your happiness, ease, and way of being, or is it just another thing that you don’t like that you do that is grounds for self-judgment?
In this episode, we explore some of our own habits and even consider some origin stories for a habit or two. We explore ways of being that might be habitual but not necessarily productive. How can we notice and explore our own habits, not with a judgmental eye, but with a bit of curiosity and openness to what we uncover when we take a peak at what we do, when we do it, and what we’re hoping to achieve in the process.
If you’re in the habit (!) of listening to this podcast, we’d love to hear more from you about your relationship to your routines and quirky tendencies. What serves you well in your daily experiences? And for which habits do you wish your brain could discover a suitable alternative?
P + C
Related Episodes
If you’d like to explore this topic a little more with some previous episodes, please check out the following:
Episode 61 - Approaching the Finish Line
Episode 41 - Questioning how we Categorize
Episode 28 - When Discomfort Calls us to Adjustment
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Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
How do you start your days? Do you jump right in or do you take some time to ease in and set a new intention for the day? And how do you continue on with those days, and are you able to notice that you’re running out of fuel? We have found, most years, that we come into the end of the academic year pretty tired out, without much fuel left. This year, however, we’re approaching the finish line of the year with a bit more energy than we have in the past. We’re coming to it with a bit more ease. We obviously find this to be a curious observation, and we’re happy to take some time in this episode to talk about why that is.
What’s helped us find ease at the end of our academic term? We both seem to point to some sense of awareness and, of course, mindfulness, as being key to our experiences in this year. Some of this may arise from practices that we started before the pandemic began, yet some, it seems, may have arisen as a result of some of the changes in our days as a result of the pandemic. For us, mindfulness isn’t self care. Mindfulness is not a luxury item. Instead, it has become an essential part of what we know we need to not just survive, but to thrive in this unprecedented year. We find that this need has become particularly apparent even as we start to see the finish line of this pandemic emerging as a possibility, and as yet another new way of being, and doing, may be emerging.
How are you approaching the finish line? Are you out of fuel? Have you used up all your resources? Are you coasting along from the momentum you built this winter? We’d love to hear how you’re experiencing the feelings of change in the air! Give this one a listen, and let us know what you think! If you’d like to get started on your own mindfulness practice and you’re not quite sure where or how to start, give us a holla!
P + C
Related Episodes
If you’d like to explore this topic a little more with some previous episodes, please check out the following:
Episode 1: A Conversation about Missing the Point
Episode 21: Who Makes These Rules Anyway?
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Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
What is your way of being in the world? And while we’re at it, what does the phrase “way of being” mean anyway? At the core of this question, it seems, is the idea that people are who they are, and that we have a limited ability to change that. Is that really true? Or is this just a story that we tell ourselves? I mean, do you really wake up each day and make a conscious decision on how you’re going to be that day, or do you not really even think about it, and just let things unfold how they do? If you’re like us, you might find that there are some ways of being that you are quite intentional about while others feel more like reactions to the experiences you face in life. Can you tell the difference, and what might it take to get to the place where you can engage in what arises responsively, rather than reactively? This, friends, is how we develop our way of being in the world!
So, join us, as we take our own ways of being in the world, explore the ways of being we see within our communities, and consider the ways that priorities, values, personality, action, and attitude might all shape how we navigate our days and experiences. There may be some steps that we need to take, some adjustments we might need to take to start on this journey, but we promise you, they are worth taking! Give it a listen; tell us what you think!
P + C
Related Episodes
If you’d like to explore this topic a little more with some previous episodes, please check out the following:
Episode 22: 100% YES!!!
Episode 38: Coping vs. Thriving
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Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
Ah, April! The trees are alive with the sound of birds! Have you noticed that, folks? Have you noticed much about the flora and fauna around you, in general, this year? We start this episode off with a chat about some homework Paul assigned his Biology students but we’re both doing ourselves. The Biology students have been tasked with going outside and getting to know the plant life in their neighborhoods.
While students are doing it for the grade, we’re doing it because...well, it’s fun! What might we notice about our world if we get curious about what’s natural around us? For Cheri, she’s really taken - and excited - to get to know the birds that are now serenading her each morning. She enjoys listening to the distinct birdsongs that now make up her morning soundscape. And Paul’s spent enough time on his balcony sipping coffee and pondering his bird feeder that he’s gotten to know quite a bit about his local avian scene.
One thing that the pandemic hasn’t changed is that we humans live much of our lives inside the manufactured constructs that we engineer for our comfort. We might find that we both long to be within nature and, yet may do so more readily knowing we have the comfort of climate control to escape to when necessary. We might care for the nature around us, but struggle to make consumer choices that support our world and all who live within it.
So - what’s a human to do? We’re not sure we offer the answers today, but we hope our discussion will have you carving out some time to get to know your backyard birds. After all, all that sings is far more stimulating than the garden variety small talk!
P + C
Related Episodes
If you’d like to explore this topic a little more with some previous episodes, please check out the following:
Episode 18 - Space
Episode 24 - Why do we Need Change?
Episode 48: Can we Prepare for Change?
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Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
Certainty? Is this really a good topic for a podcast??? Are you SURE??? If the pandemic has taught us one thing, it might just be that many of the things that we were certain of, whether they are norms, ways of being, societal structures, or ideas, might not stand up to real scrutiny when challenged. Both of us used to be very confident of many things in our own lives, right up until the moment we weren’t. Sometimes this can really open us up to new questions and new ways of being, and other times this can completely undercut and reorient the things that we thought to be true.
Together we think through our own journey with the concept of certainty. Did you know us when we were young, bold, and full of confidence in all the things? If so, we’re so sorry you had to experience that! Certainty is rewarded in our society, but at what cost? And with what gain? What do we lose when we just admit “I don’t know!”? These days we’re embracing a lack of certainty, or at least coming to it with a bit more suspicion.
What are you certain of? And what do you gain from that position? We find that there are subjects we allow ourselves to take a certain stance on because they allow us to see the world, and the people within that world, in ways that are complementary to how we want to be in the world. What allowances of certainty do we give ourselves? Take a listen and find out!
P + C
Related Episodes
If you’d like to explore this topic a little more with some previous episodes, please check out the following:
Episode 12 : Spring!
Episode 16: All things, known!
Episode 40: Starting Over
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We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
Hello listeners! Whether you consider yourself an insomniac, a sound sleeper, or something in between, we’ve got an episode for you!
What keeps you up at night? When do you realize that you’re moving from deep slumber to begrudging consciousness? How do we even know whether or not we’re awake or asleep! We’ll tell ya, we sure can tell when we’re lying in bed unable to fall asleep! Does that ever happen to you? If so, we’d love to offer you this podcast episode!
Originally, the thought for this one was, as the title suggests, are the things that keep us awake at night? Is it fear, anxiety, a task left undone, or something that you did that you regret, or something that made you angry? Perhaps it’s a big philosophical question about why we’re all here and the meaning of life as we know it. However, what Paul discovered about himself is that this isn’t really the question that applies to him. For Cheri, who once struggled with insomnia this question once haunted both her days and her nights. These days, we both find, like perhaps many others that falling asleep isn’t the problem. Rather, what is it that keeps us awake when we wake up at 2AM? And what caused that awakening to happen in the first place? For some, that might be when the mind really spins a tale, which is what originally prompted Paul to have his rule, “never believe anything that your mind tells you in the middle of the night!” For others, like Cheri, it might be a sign that the brain’s finished stewing on some idea and is ready to move to problem-solving mode!
Are the anxieties that seem so loud when it’s dark and quiet really so important, or is it really that it’s just dark and quiet, and the mind does what the mind does? Fertile ground for curiosity, indeed! In this episode, we explore this topic with our experiences, and, as an added bonus, we compare fizzy water preferences and discover a few interesting things that make each of us rather uncomfortable! Hopefully, this episode doesn’t keep you up at night, but if you do find yourself awake, give it a listen!
Thanks all!
P + C
Related Episodes
If you’d like to explore this topic a little more with some previous episodes, please check out the following:
Episode 11: Resistance
Episode 23: Navigating Discomfort
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Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
How’d it begin and how’s it going? That’s a social media trend we see quite a bit these days and it’s kind of what we treat ya’ll to in this episode! Recording on the anniversary of our first podcast episode, we think back on the topics and state of mind that led to and informed that first recording. A year ago we thought about “missing the point” as it could be understood and observed based on who we were, where we were, what was going on (not a pandemic!), and decided that, for us, the point (of all this!) was really about connection and community. Do we stand by these observations today, a full year later? Has our thinking on “the point,” who, or what, is missing the point, and the topics of connection and community changed in a year?
As you listen to our reflections and observations, we invite you to consider with us: why do we, so often, miss the point? What do you think the point is, anyway? For us, we notice a connection between our relationship to novelty and routine that might inform when and why we seek something outside the norm - where we start to ask: is this the point of this unbelievable life or is there something else?
Check it out here - or, if you’re a more visual person, you might enjoy the YouTube version, as this one was recorded LIVE on our Youtube channel!
Thanks for listening and we can’t wait to see what new points emerge as we go into YEAR TWO!
P + C
Related Episodes
If you’d like to explore this topic a little more with some previous episodes, please check out the following:
Episode 1: A Conversation about Missing the Point
Episode 3: The Origin Story
Episode 21: Who Makes These Rules Anyway?
Origin Story
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Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
Hello listeners, and welcome to another episode of This Most Unbelievable Life, the podcast where we talk about our universe as we navigate it, ourselves, our approach, and our place in it as people trying to be the best we can be, doing the best we can! One of the things that we have both noticed for a while is that some of these ideas, notions, or conventions that we sometimes don't even question... are actually very questionable.
Want some examples?
Are you already working for the weekend? Well, what so bad about the actual week anyway that we're rushing to get through it?
Were you just bemoaning that Mondays are the worst? And is there a way to make Monday more acceptable?
Do you repeat: “life is hard” to emphasize what a chore it is to live our lives? Have you asked: is it really? Is that how you would characterize your life, as a chore? What other choice do you have?
Operating in a way that questions some of these widely stated, if not widely accepted ways of being, is somewhat countercultural. If our ideas about Monday and the weekend are culturally constructed, then resisting them leans against the momentum of the social norm, right?
How does one arrive at a countercultural position, especially when, so often, we might not even know that what we think, say, or do, is rooted in a cultural agreement or convention? Do we have to go through the work of identifying every nuance of our culture to come to a new way of being that might serve us better, or can we stumble across it by accident? In this podcast, we talk this through to see if we can get some clarity on this question. What does our culture ask of us, that we don't readily notice, that might not be serving us well? Of course, then the big question... what can we do about it?
Also, we test the cultural convention that it's not a good idea to play rock, paper, scissors on a podcast! Find out who the winner is in this episode!
P + C
Related Episodes
If you’d like to explore this topic a little more with some previous episodes, please check out the following:
Episode 9: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Episode 21: Who Makes These Rules Anyway?
Episode 31: Why Are You Like This?
Social Media Links
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Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
Well, folks, you’re in for quite a conversation today! In this one we tackle a lot of territory, but at the heart of this podcast is a conversation about how we support one another. As we know, we’re all unique, and we all have our own way of doing things. However, the way that we see others operating doesn’t always look too much like our own, and the pressure to conform can be real! How do we support others, and ourselves, when we’re trying to find our own way, our creative way, the way that works for us, individually? We note that some of the things that are “typical,” or even “expected,” during challenging times really aren’t as positive as they might seem.
Have you told someone to “hang in there” lately? What image does that really convey? Or maybe you believe such truisms as “pressure makes diamonds” and “no pain, no gain” help spur others along. Do these phrases fall on the ears of those in our communities in the way we hope? Are the healthy and positive messages to receive? How do we witness the struggle of others without taking it on or minimizing it? It’s tricky work! In the end, we hope this one encourages you to come along with us as we keep contemplating the language of support!
Thank you for listening!
P + C
Related Episodes
If you’d like to explore this topic a little more with some previous episodes, please check out the following:
Episode 10 - What If....?
Episode 21 - Who Makes These Rules Anyway?
Episode 28 - When Discomfort Calls Us to Adjustment
Social Media Links
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Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
In the course of a day, or a week, or a month, or even an hour, how often do you say or think the word “need?” Sentences or phrases like, “I need to take out the trash,” or “I really need to send that email!” can come at us, into our minds, and out of our mouths out of the blue, and seemingly on their own schedule. When we think about it, though, what does the word “need” really mean? Are the things that you say that you need really as urgent as all that? Also, when you say the word “need,” what else could be said around that containing phrase that can inform us of the nature of that urgency, and to what is really going on?
In this episode, we take apart the word, “need” to see what’s really going on “under the hood,” so to speak. How do we separate true “needs” from “wants” and “wouldn’t it be nice” and just personal preferences? When we say “need,” how often do we really mean “should,” and, if so, what might be generating our impulse to phrase a “should” as a “need”? Are “should’s” really “could’s” in disguise? Can we reframe these impulses to “should” ourselves to emphasize our choices? Are there really, underneath our “shoulds” some options to be explored? Might we invite some inquiry into what our needs really are asking of and from us? All this and more, in this episode of This Most Unbelievable LIfe!
We hope you like this one! Please let us know what you think! We really need to know!
Thank you for listening!
P + C
Related Episodes
If you’d like to explore this topic a little more with some previous episodes, please check out the following:
“Episode 10 - What If…” for a conversation on limiting beliefs.
“Episode 28: When Discomfort Calls us to Adjustment” where we talk about how, and when, to make adjustments to approach.
“Episode 36 - Being Enough” where we talk through how we might avoid the “cult of perfectionism.”
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We're coming up on a full year of living in pandemic life, which is long enough for many of us to not only develop new habits and etiquette in the ways that we interact with each other (hello, Zoom!), but also to forget many of the more nuanced, happenstance, or serendipitous interactions that we used to have prior to March 2020. All of those interactions that we once considered normal - maybe even inconsequential - with folks in the hallways or at our favorite local coffee spot, happened because we just bumped into each other as we went about our lives out in the world...and most of those are… now out the window! For many of us, the number of folks that we interacted with on the daily has become significantly fewer than the number we interacted with previously. Does this mean that we should go back and try to reach out to every single person that we used to see daily, weekly, or monthly? Well, no, but that noticing this shift provides space to consider the nature of our relationships as we have them now.
In this episode, we chew on this, as well as some of the ways in which we bring ourselves to the interactions we have now. Now, more than ever, we may be reliant on the power, and the limitations, of language and words as a primary mechanism of communication. Body language, eye contact, room or group dynamics, small-talk, ad hoc water cooler gatherings... for many, these are totally out the window! So how has your "nature of interaction" changed in the last year? Has it?
Thank you for listening!
P + C
Related Episodes
Want to observe how our thinking on interactions in the pandemic has evolved? Listen back to our episode on the Principles of Community - Pandemic Edition - which was our 6th (!) episode!
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Wouldn’t it be fitting if the shownotes for an episode on procrastination were…just blank? We might say that this episode came into being because of shownotes. In the early weeks of the podcast we wrote them together and with glee moments after we finished recording. Slowly but surely, however, they’ve fallen off our priority list and emerged on our “oh, crud, we need to get to that!” list? What’s on your “I should be…” or “I need to…” or maybe “I don’t wanna…” list?
And perhaps more importantly, how do you navigate that feeling that you ought to get to something when something in you is screaming “that task belongs to tomorrow!”? This question in mind, we tackle the subject of procrastination in this episode. We discuss how we experience it as well as how it seems to show up in students this time of year. As we brainstorm solutions, we also try to get at the core causes and internal tensions that lead us, oh so regularly, to put off until tomorrow that which future us really wishes we would prioritize today!
Don’t procrastinate on listening to this one! Give it a listen - maybe while you’re putting off that really icky thing you know you wish you had done yesterday!
P + C
For related episodes, check out Episode 30 for our discussion on persistence, and Episode 32 for our conversation about inspiration!
Episode 30 - Persistence : https://thismostunbelievablelife.podbean.com/e/persistence-1600772207/
Episode 32 - What’s Your Inspiration : https://thismostunbelievablelife.podbean.com/e/whats-your-inspiration-1601983204/
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Hi folks,
We recorded this podcast on January 19th, the day before the 2021 presidential inauguration. Here we are again, recording a podcast, the day before the arrival of new big change, whether known or unknown, for better or for worse. On the one hand, it makes it a little hard to know what’s going to be going on with folks on the day that the episode is released. On the other hand, however, isn’t that always the case? Changes are always coming, not as an occasional event or occurrence, but rather as the state of the universe, as it is, all the time.
So, this then brings us to an important set of questions… how do we, how can we, and how shall we prepare for change? The question itself is a little paradoxical, isn’t it? How can we prepare for something when we don’t know what the thing itself is, whether on the grand scale, or in the details? Is there work that we can do within, and upon, ourselves to show up at our best when the inevitable change happens? Even moreso, we would ask: how can we be with this universe, as it is, in a state of constant change, while still being present to what is, as it is, as our best selves? In this episode, we unpack our perspectives on this a little bit, and we’d love to hear what you think, and how you might prepare yourself for the inevitable change that we know will happen. After all, that’s the river we’re in… this life!
Thank you so much for listening!
P + C
For another episode about change, check out Episode 24 - Why do we Need Change
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Hi folks,
If you listened to episode 46, you already know that we did a little bit of a dive into the subject of grounding. How do we stay grounded? How do we know when we need grounding? What do we mean when we say "grounded" anyway?
That whole conversation happened on January 5th, 2020. At the time of that recording, little did we know, or anticipate, the shocking developments of January 6th that were about to transpire in our nation's capital! So here we are, a week on from that, and we find that we're in need of a different conversation. Being grounded in the day-to-day is one thing, but... how do we handle crises? We ask that question because, for many, that's what the events of January 6th represented - a crisis. A crisis that threatened (and perhaps continues to threaten) not only our own sense of safety and security, but a crisis for democracy itself.
In this episode, we talk through some of our reflections on how we've... not handled... not managed... maybe withstood crises in our lives, and what navigating those events has looked like for us. It's one thing to think back on how we handled ourselves during a crisis event, and what we notice that we needed at the time to get through with our best selves intact. However, it’s another thing altogether to find ourselves called to be our best selves, with compassion for ourselves and others, during the events themselves. These are our thoughts on this subject so far, and we'd love to hear yours! After all, we're all just out here trying to do our best.
Thank you so much for listening!
P + C
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Hi y’all,
Today’s episode starts with a picture. Several years ago, Cheri took a picture of some graffiti that said: “Expression is natural, concrete is not.” In many ways, this quote is the foundation for today’s episode. Cheri’s been re-thinking her long tendency to look for, and cling to, solid ground - both literally and figuratively. Does staying on a strong foundation keep us safe or does it keep us from discovering new experiences? Are firm foundations really as stable as we might think? These are exactly the kinds of questions Cheri wanted to walk through with Paul in the space of this episode. So, are you similar to Cheri? Do tend to long for a solid foundation and certainty under your feet? Or are you, like Paul, more comfortable with shifting terrain?
In this one as we walk through a conversation about stability, foundation and grounding. Join us as we talk through the kinds of things that help us feel grounded. And let us know how you navigate these issues: how do you keep your footing in all that life throws your way?
P + C
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Hi folks,
Happy New Year!
Here we are at the beginning of another year, and although the difference between December 31 and January 1 may be a somewhat arbitrary one, there is an opportunity here for some reinvestigation of priorities, a reframing of perspectives and expectations, and, of course, the dreaded New Year’s resolution.
Yes, the New Year’s resolution often comes with the promise of gym memberships, marathon running, diets and weight loss, more of this, or less of that. There are so many things to resolve to do for yourself (or to yourself, perhaps!) it boggles the mind. Perhaps we’ve all heard the tales of packed gyms on January 1st which are once again empty by February 2nd. We might know first-hand the frustration of weight we wished to lose, that stubbornly stuck around regardless of our New Year’s Day resolve. What’s behind the success and failure of these resolutions anyway? What do they signal about how we feel about ourselves or navigate self-acceptance in this world?
In this episode, we take a look at the commitments we make to ourselves as part of the ritual associated with welcoming a new year. We chat through childhood traditions related to the turning of the calendar (which for Paul included a particular pickled product and for Cheri included an annual fete) before turning our attention to the complicated concerns that run beneath the New Year’s Resolution game. Join us to hear which kinds of intentions have served us well, and which ones we find particularly kind toward the resolver.
Enjoy, everybody! Thanks for listening, and may this year bring you all wellness and peace!
P + C
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Hi all,
What does the word surrender mean to you? What comes to mind when you hear it? Does it conjure images of glorious battles won and lost, inglorious capitulation, or a sense of defeat? It's certainly ok if it does! After all, that is how the word is traditionally used. Either as a negative, or, at least, in a way that causes one to think that it represents a failing or a shortcoming of some kind. Many of us may feel that we are on the brink of surrender in this most challenging year of 2020.
That word... surrender... it can mean other things too and that’s part of what we explore in this episode. Surrender - offering up, turning over, relinquishing, letting go... all of these are synonymous with the notion of surrender. For Paul, there is a little bit of surrender every time he sits on a meditation cushion. For Cheri, there might be some surrendering to the page when she sits down to write. For everything you do, you want, or desire, what will you surrender, offer up, or relinquish in the process? Is it time, is it ego, is it the way you think things "should'' be? In this light, surrender can also mean liberation, or even freedom.
Rather than surrendering ourselves to 2020, can we surrender 2020 to history, and welcome in 2021 fully? Maybe we can, easily, or maybe there might be some forgiveness to do to fully let 2020 go? Whichever the case, our freedom lies in our surrender of that which no longer serves us, so we can move forward to whatever comes next.
Enjoy, everybody! Thanks for listening, and Happy New Year!
P + C
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Hi all,
Welcome to solstice week! It’s a big week for many of us in this world, whatever our traditions may be. As many of us find ways to celebrate over the coming weeks during these most challenging, trying, and dare we say, dark days, it’s also a time that signifies rebirth, renewal, and the initiation of a new year, and maybe even a new you! For us? It’s a NEW season!
So what does this have to do with a practice called “contemplative composing”? Well, it’s our opportunity to tell you about some new-to-us thinking together we’ve been doing. Cheri refers to herself as a contemplative composer, someone who came to a contemplative practice from the world of composition. Paul, on the other hand, was introduced to composition as a part of a contemplative practice, wherein it represents yet another of the ways and means to uncover that which is within us. In this episode, the contemplator and the composer have a conversation about what contemplative composition is, what it looks like, and how any of us can get started on using composition as a door to contemplation, without too much of a lurking fear of a blank page. We’d love for you to give this one a listen and let us know what you think!
Enjoy! Thanks for listening, everybody! Happy Solstice!
P + C
NEW WORKSHOP LISTED - REGISTRATION NOW OPEN
Workshop on the Divine Abodes
We're excited to announce our next workshop on the Divine Abodes, AKA the Brahma Viharas. What are these abodes? They are nothing less than the heart practices embodied by the divine - Loving-kindness, Compassion, Joy, and Equanimity. In this 6-week workshop, you'll get weekly content in a variety of formats to assist you in your practice, as well as a weekly group meeting on Zoom where we can gather and share our thoughts, perspectives, and support for each other in general. For more information, check out the advertisement page by clicking on the link below.
Click here to learn more about the Divine Abodes workshop!
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Hey folks! Here we are at the end of season 3! For this landmark episode, Paul thought that this would be a good time to start by asking Cheri another of those surprise questions, and for this one, he broke out the big guns! In this podcast, we talk through what Paul thinks is one of the biggest practical questions that we can ask ourselves : who do you think you are?
Who indeed?!
When we look at the arcs of our lives, lives filled with things we’ve tried to do which sometimes succeeded, and occasionally failed, or, at least, went as anticipated or did not go as anticipated, it can seem both wildly audacious, occasionally straightforward, and also sometimes decidedly optimistic. Sometimes those initiatives are met with scorn, and at other times, thanks and praise, and often, how those outcomes are met challenges our ideas and notions of who we think we are, and often run in opposition to our views of ourselves.
So what do we do when that happens? Does this require us to re-imagine ourselves and our self-image, to make a little more room for unexpected praise, as well as sorrow, and how can we show up for all of these possibilities with our best selves? In this podcast, we talk this through, offering some of our own challenges with this idea of knowing who we think we are.
Enjoy! Thanks for listening, everybody!
P + C
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What do the following questions have in common: “what’s your favorite kitchen gadget?” and “why do humans stereotype?”? Well, believe it or not, we tackle both in today’s journey of an episode! You might say today’s episode is a look at how we tend to group people into categories yet also often believe ourselves to be lone wolves, unique in our novel experiences.
Are we quick to push people into general categories because it’s efficient or easier than taking time to really get curious about others? Do we see ourselves as being “the only one like this” because we know our own ways of being just so intimately?
We’re not the kind of folks with all the answers, but we sure did enjoy exploring these questions and can’t wait to hear what kind of truly good “get curious about new people” questions you, dear listeners, can come up with!
P + C
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Hey all! Here we are, December 1. We just finished November and now it’s time to start December. Perhaps it’s an artificial new start or maybe you’re really feeling the need to start over. Either way, here’s a question: what does it actually feel like to start over? When We think about it, it seems like that is just about all we do! A new day, a new week, a new month, a new season… another podcast! We just did all of those things, and now we’re going to start over and do them again!
In this episode, we talk about times in our lives - little times when we lost something and we had to re-do it, and larger times when we made huge, redefining changes in our lives - when we felt like we were starting over. What is this act of starting over? Is it a recognition of something ending and restarting, or is it an admission of failure, followed by the need to begin again to the same end? Maybe sometimes, for some things, it’s the first; occasionally, it really seems to be the second.
What if we started to believe that it was ok to start over? Could we see restarts not merely as something to take another crack at, but also a way to bring some newly found wisdom into an experience. Rather than, “UGH, now I have to start over,...!”, it’s more like, “Ahh! The opportunity of a fresh start!” We talk about how this is more than just the difference between being pessimistic and optimistic; rather, it can be a distinction that offers an opportunity to bring your best self to any situation, and with the opportunities to begin anew, all that which can be gained!
Give this one a listen, and let us know what you think!
Thanks Everybody!
P + C
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As you may have noticed by this point, we're both college professors. Our perspectives are often heavily informed by that profession and signs of our day job show up, regularly, on this podcast. Whether we like it or not, our experiences in that realm shape who we are and how we navigate the world!
This episode is no exception. In this one, we talk through a topic that we watch our students work through, up close and personally, year after year. But you know what? It’s also something we are not immune from experiencing within ourselves! What is it? Well it comes down to this: there is pain and discomfort, oftentimes significantly so, in learning, growth, and change. Simply put: learning, growth, and change can be really hard!
But does this have to be the case? Every single time? Certainly, looking back at our own educational experiences, not ALL lessons were so "hard won." For example, memorizing state capitals... repetitive, challenging, but not what we would call transformative. Other learning experiences, however, are transformative. And we notice that it’s the transformative ones that hurt! When deep, profound lessons are learned, it opens up a new way of seeing, of interacting, of being. The old ways can die hard, and it can feel like they take part of us with them. As we learn new ways, we abandon and lose the old, to allow a new unknown future —one which we might not fully understand —to arise within and before us.
Give a listen to this one, folks, and let us know what you think! How do you negotiate the discomfort that comes with learning and growth? Is change worth the pain? Maybe there are lessons learned in this one, maybe not. Let's find out!
P + C
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Hello listeners! How are you doing today? We're about nine or ten months into this pandemic, and we're wondering... how are you coping? Would you say that you are actually coping, or would you say that you are finding ways to adapt, and thrive? In this episode, Paul and Cheri talk through the concepts of coping vs. thriving, and, even in these challenging times with the holidays coming up, find that we do have avenues in which we thrive.
Of course, this isn't to say that we're not still doing some coping. We actually start this conversation by talking about ways in which we cope, either by taking up a hobby, learning a new art or skill (like podcasting, for example!), or even in how we arrange our environments. Do you find comfort in how your things are arranged and, in that arrangement, do you find peace?
Thanks all!
P + C
ALSO… there’s still time to sign up to join Paul and Cheri for the 2020 Holiday Survival Guide Workshop! What is this offering, you ask? It’s simple! We meet, we talk, and we turn inward. Together we will explore strategies to meet this holiday season with all the grace we can muster. Starting on November 22nd and running through December 31, this guided workshop will challenge us to investigate the root causes of the most challenging parts of holidays, and will provide a community with whom you can safely explore the contributing factors that drive holiday stress and tension… in short, come with us as we ask: what really are the causes of our suffering during this special time of year? Check it out at the link below.
https://www.thismostunbelievablelife.com/holiday-survival-guide
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Hey folks! Here’s a question for you: what do you believe about yourself that you know isn’t actually true? If you made a list of those beliefs, how long would it be? Do you ever feel like you hold two completely contradictory ideas about yourself in your head at the exact same time? Are you able to notice when things register in your body, and, as is sometimes the case, when what you feel is different from how you think you "should" experience something? Well, it turns out that life is surprising, and how we react and respond to it is surprising too. Even when we have what we think is a clear sense of ourselves, we can be surprised by our reactions and ideas in quite a number of situations. Even when we do know ourselves and our tendencies, sometimes we struggle with our own responses, as well-worn and familiar as they may be.
In this episode, we talk through some of our histories with unresolvable, oppositional dichotomies. Are they explainable by our histories, causes, and conditions? Or are they just one more example of our infinitely irreconcilable human complexities? Give this one a listen! We may, or may not, answer these questions to satisfaction, and that's ok! Or is it?
Thanks all!
P + C
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Being "Enough"
Here are a couple of questions for you, folks: Do you do things so they will get you somewhere? What good is all of this intentional busyness? Where does the drive to "succeed" take you anyway??? When we struggle, when we're challenged to perform at our best, and to do the things that many of us see as the "right thing to do," who are we doing it for? Do we ever pause and ask ourselves where our benchmarks for success come from? And why are our sights set where they are? Too often we derive what we "should" be doing by comparing ourselves to others who we see as equivalent or even ideal. This, we suggest, may not be a productive thing to do.
So then what does it mean to be "enough," and how do we decide when we're there? Can we avoid the call to join the cult of perfectionism? In this episode, we talk through some moments from our lives. We explore how we related to whether or not we saw ourselves and/or our contributions as enough, and what was behind our intentions in the quest to thrive. How we make decisions now sometimes is quite a bit different than how we made them "back then." We'd love to hear your thoughts on "what is enough," and the remedy that we propose here. Is our takeaway “enough” for you?
Thanks all!
P + C
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Hey folks!
If you’re looking for a podcast episode on hope, you’ve come to the right place! I mean, who doesn’t like a nice, uplifting, conversation about hope, what with the holiday season coming fast?
Except: we’re not sure that’s what we ended up recording...
We’re really interested to hear what you think about this one, wherein we really take a dive into the nature of hope, what it means, and when it is gained and lost. We have to say, it went into some pretty unexpected directions! It certainly went places Paul wasn’t expecting when he decided to toss this topic out for him and Cheri to bat around for this episode!
For as awesome and great a thing that hope seems to be, is it always a good thing? What does it mean for your current state of affairs if hope is what you’re relying on to get by? And while we’re at it, let’s consider this question: what is the relationship between hope and joy? Does one happen at the expense of the other? Can you have both hope and joy at the same time?
All this, and more, in this episode of This Most Unbelievable Podcast!
We hope you find this one as interesting to listen to as we did when recording it. Let us know what you think! What is it that brings you joy, and when do you rely on hope? How do you relate the two?
Cheers!
P + C
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Well, it's happened! After months of consideration, stalling, excuse-finding, and just plain ol’ resistance, Paul has finally taken the personality test that Cheri has been waiting to see: the Strengths Finder Assessment. Unlike many of the other personality and trait assessments and tests you can find on the internet, this one isn't free - it costs a few bucks to take it, but Paul has had an exam code for this test for a year, so it's become harder and harder to rationalize not taking it. Cheri has known her results from this assessment for a few months and has been finding it really useful to think about how she operates in the world, not by that which she’s most insecure about, but the things that come naturally to her. So here you go, folks! In this episode, we walk through the three strengths we have in common according to Strengths Finder 2.0, and then the pair of traits that distinguish us from one another. Before you listen, which 5 of the 34 Strengths would you guess rank high for the two of us? Do you know how you’d score?
As an aside... what are we to do with the results of these personality and trait exams and assessments anyway? Once you know your Strengths, your Myers-Briggs type, your Love Languages, your Tendencies, your Enneagram, your Zodiacal sign, and the current status of the planet Mercury as it orbits the sun, what are we to do with it? Do we really understand ourselves better for having taken these assessments than we did previously, or does it all just represent a distillation of whom we already know we are?
All questions, asked, some answers, possibly known, all in this episode! Check it out, and let us know what you think!
And...for the record, neither of us, nor this podcast, is endorsed by any of these assessments. We're just trying to find out who we are, just like everybody else.
Thanks folks!
P + C
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Hi all! In this episode, we come right out and finally have a talk dedicated exclusively to the nature of connection. We've talked about connection many times in this podcast; yet, we thought it was finally time to dedicate a whole episode to it. The timing, however, is sketchy... what is there to say about the nature of connection in the middle of a global pandemic? Clearly, many folks are feeling disconnected these days, so is it wise to even bring this up while so many people are suffering such a great sense of disconnection? Wise or not, we felt the need to venture into the weeds on this one! We explore not just in our sense of connection with others, but also the connections we have with ourselves, our experiences, our growth, and who we are becoming.
What is it that makes connection, and what is it that breaks connection? We chat it out on this episode, and we hope that you can connect to what we have to offer on this one!
Thanks for listening, everybody!
P + C
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This episode opens with Cheri getting Paul to sing some Chicago! Can you guess which song before you hit play? Although the song isn’t exactly in Paul’s vocal range, it did open up space for a wide range of conversational topics! Where do we go on this one? Well, we take a look a shower tunes, the sacred ritual that is singing, and how our best ideas come to us. Ultimately, we look at when and how inspiration come to us and who we look to for our inspiration. Where do you draw your inspiration from? What things, places, and people can you best rely on to find inspiration? We’d love to know what...well ... ”brings meaning to your life.” What’s your inspiration?
Thanks for listening, everybody!
P + C
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Here's a question for you... WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS???
Here's a fact, folks, and there's no escaping it: The events, causes, conditions, and histories of our lives shape who we are, how we see ourselves, how we see others, and how we show up for folks around us. Often, the things that we pay the most attention to when investigating why we are the way we are center around traumas - maybe trauma as a child, maybe as an adult, maybe even sometime last Thursday. For some reason, we don’t seem to focus on the good things that happen when we think about what’s made us who we are. It seems to be the more difficult things, and how we responded (or continue to respond) to them, that we credit for making us who we are today.
But... what if...?
What if we told you that you could call on those events, those experiences, and the sum total of your life with those traumas as an offering that you can make to others? While we recognize trauma is difficult, we’ve also noticed that we gain something from our most challenging experiences. As others work through pain, suffering, and trauma, what if we could be there to hold that space with them with compassion and wisdom, presence and support? That might change how were relate to our own traumas, or maybe that could change everything! In this episode, we ask, "why are you like this?" Well, why are you like this? What answer would you give to this daunting question? Let's explore it together, shall we?
P + C
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Welcome to Fall, everyone, and welcome to season 3!
Let's have a conversation about... persistence. Last week, we talked about how we show up for people, and what we bring when we do. This week on the podcast, we go one step further and we ask, "What keeps us, or anyone for that matter, coming back, especially when things get a little challenging?" In other words, what is the nature, and the basis, of persistence? Is it just the result of motivation, or does it require a little more than that? How does a sense of purpose, clarity of intention, and discipline fit into the persistence equation? In which activities, and with what intention, do you persist, and when is the word "persistence" used over another word. We'd love you to give this episode a listen and let us know what you think, and thank you for your persistence!
P + C
WORKSHOP JUST ANNOUNCED! Introduction to Mindfulness Meditation
This workshop, hosted by Paul, runs for six consecutive Wednesdays, with the first meeting on October 7th and the concluding meeting being held on November 11th. The workshop runs from 7:00PM to 8:30PM on each meeting day. Click on the title of the workshop above for more information and to sign up!
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What do you show up with? What do you feel responsibility to bring to the metaphorical table when you show up for the people, companies, communities in your life? These questions frame the conversation Paul and Cheri dig into on today’s episode.
To unpack these questions, we take a look at what it really means to “show up” for others. Is it about physically being present? Or is it something more, like present and accountable or fully engaged? While you won’t find “showing up” in published discussions about love languages or communication styles, Cheri has a theory that “showing up” is actually Paul’s love language – when he shows up, he’s really in it! However, Cheri struggles with separating the ability to joyfully show up for others versus making herself available out of obligation.
How do you show up for others? Do you expect others in your life to show up for you? What does it really mean for you to acknowledge that others are, in fact, showing up for you?
For the record: every time you download this podcast, we read that as a way our community shows up for us in a big way! Thanks for listening; we hope you’ll keep showing up here and reaching out to let us know how these threads of discussion resonate with you!
P + C
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Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | E-mail
Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
How do you know when it's time to adjust? How do you recognize when your regular approach isn’t going to keep serving you well?
In many ways, we’re going through a period of life where adjustment is the name of the game. Whether you work in the academic sector or not, September is often a month of transition and refocus. In 2020, many folks are experiencing a unique set of challenges as they navigate work, school, and ongoing life as we wrap up this summer of perpetual social distancing.
So what does this need for adjustment look like? How is showing up in your world today? In this episode, we give some insight into what it looks like for us. We note how, over the past few weeks, our schedules have changed significantly as a new academic year has begun. We both have long experienced that the first stages of a new routine can be a challenge as there is a period of adjustment that is inevitable. But this year there’s a new level of intensity: eye strain, stiff muscles, mental fatigue... all being known, all at once! In this episode, we talk through the adjustments that we eventually recognized the need for, how we got to where we needed to make those changes, and what it looked like to respond to the demands of our bodies.
We invite you to reflect for yourself: what kinds of adjustments have you made recently? Where are you seeing discomfort that’s calling you to be more flexible in your approaches? We’d love to know what works for you as we continue to find out what works best for us!
P + C
Social Media Links
Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | E-mail
Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
Here it is, folks, the big question! As promised last episode, Paul got to ask Cheri: "where do you see yourself in five years?"
If someone asked you this question 5 years ago, we suspect that no one would have anticipated where we are now! In this episode, Paul and Cheri talk through what that question represents and what actual intentions are signaled when it gets posed. For example, notice the way that the question starts: is this a question about "where"? Is that really what someone wants to know about? Is this question about physical geography, or is it really about something else?
Does your answer, or even the mere consideration of your answer, lock you into a pattern of thinking about yourself? Might it actually limit and constrain your potential? Rather than providing a sense of purpose and a vision for yourself and what you do, we think this question might actually prevent you from really thinking about who you are, or what kind of person you want to be today.
So, who do you want to be today, and what do you want to work on to be a better person tomorrow? Have you ever been asked where you see yourself in five years, and, if so, did you end up where you thought you would? If you wanted to know about someone, what other question might you ask that might be more informative?
We'd love to hear your answers on our socials! Thank you for listening!!!
P+C
Social Media Links
Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | E-mail
Mentions from the Podcast
Commonwealth Baptist Church
Faith Made Welcome
Old Town Books
Support the Podcast!
We'd love your support! If you would like to help out, here is the link to our Patreon site: https://www.patreon.com/thismostunbelievablelife
What Kind of Life Are You Cultivating Today?
You're in for a good one today, folks! Though it might sound like an oxymoron, this episode is a fun look at misery! Over the course of this episode we introduce two concepts related to misery: 1) habits of misery, and 2) sympathetic misery. Do you see folks engaged in habits of misery in your everyday life? Have you noticed how easily collaborative complaining fosters a sense of sympathetic misery? Here we look at these concepts and their relationship to the lives we lead vs. the lives we hope to have.
So what kind of life do you want for yourself? Is it one full of gratitude and kindness? Or have you resigned yourself to a habit of misery? Paul suggests that whatever we cultivate requires “work, patience, and faith.” Join us as we take a look at the work, patience and faith we, and our larger culture, often invest in what we're calling “habits of misery.” We ask: why are we so comfortable with self-deprecating humor? Why is there comfort in sympathetic misery? Why are we so suspicious of happy people? And what causes us to struggle with sympathetic joy?
We gotta say, recording this one was a blast and we really hope you’ll enjoying listening to it as much as we loved recording it! So, listeners, share in our joy: check this one out and then get in touch. Tell us: what are you cultivating in your life right now? And what would change in your life you asked: “what if I deserve kindness?”
P + C
By the time you check this one out, Paul will have put his foot down and said: “this has gone on long enough!” What has he let go too long? Well, dear podcast listeners, don’t fear! It’s not the podcast! And believe it or not - we're not just talking about the pandemic! No, in this episode, we discuss Paul’s decision to say “enough is enough” and get...well…a haircut. It might seem trivial, but a haircut can signify a lot more than good grooming habits. A pause in regular haircut practice became a way many of us began marking the passage of time during the pandemic. As the spread of the virus continues and the hope of a vaccine seems far off, we start to ask: “what does it look like to keep on living in the midst of this?” We shy away from longing for “a new normal” and instead think together about the signs that we’re gearing up for fall, even those it is likely to be the least typical fall semester we’ve had. This episode takes us on a journey where we think about ways we mark time, ways we use our appearance to help us ready ourselves for events in life, moments we think we can start fresh, and seemingly mundane things that bring us a great sense of satisfaction. Listen in and let us know - what in your life have you let go on long enough? Are you ready to put your foot down and say enough is enough?
Why do we change writing utensils, move the furniture around, and feel the need to get away from our usual places for a while? Why, in fact, do we need change? Is it necessary or do we simply enjoy novel experiences? As Cheri so eloquently states in this episode, "You wake up every day, and you try to figure out how are you going to negotiate for the next 16 hours, or whatever that you're awake, how are you going to negotiate what you want to do, what you are obligated to do, and what in the world will feel like it's on fire if you don't do, and then you go to bed, you get up, and you do it again." After a while, it seems like that can get a little stale. Maybe you feel a little stuck? Maybe your routine can even feel oppressive? In this episode, we talk about how, and when, we make the decision to change our pens, our furniture, our patterns and processes, and our locations, if even for only a little while. Do we get stuck in our habits of mind, body, and spirit, and our surroundings hold those patterns in place? What exactly is that connection between mood and change? Give this episode a listen, and let us know how you relate your habits of mind, your moods, and the nature of change, whether intentional or unintentional.
Thanks all! We'll talk more soon.
Paul and Cheri
Locations mentioned in this episode
- Holy Cross Abbey, Berryville, VA - https://www.virginiatrappists.org
- Insight Meditation Society, Barre, MA - https://www.dharma.org/
What would happen if we pressed the record button without a plan? Welp, you're about to find out! Cheri and Paul recorded this one with no plan in place, just an openness to see where the conversation would take them! For a lot of people, participating in a recording like this one would create a lot of discomfort. We often feel discomfort at the unknown or the uncontrollable. Curiously, while we were quite comfortable jumping into the unplanned together here, we ended up spending an hour discussing the nature of discomfort. How do we experience it? Why does it pop up? What do we do to try to avoid it? How do we cope when we see it in others? See how well we stay on topic when there's no topic even in place! And...as a special treat, listen to us discuss how we navigate discomfort not only in our lives but with...EACH OTHER. That's right folks: if you've ever wondered whether this collaborative pair face conflict with each other, the juicy answer is...well, "kind of" and the insight into how excellently we manage times when we can't say an enthusiastic "yes" to each other is locked within this episode. Check out how we navigate the unknown and tell us: what causes discomfort in your world, how do you navigate it, and what role does it play in the conflict in your life?
Hey folks! What does it mean to be 100% in? We're not talking here about being sorta in, maybe in, or kinda considering it. We're talking ALL IN! Absolutely. 100% YES! We've mentioned this concept once or twice before on the podcast. In this episode, we try to flesh this scary concept out a little bit more. We go a deeper into what we really mean by 100% yes, how you do it, and provide examples of it in action. We even think about what the consequences of “all in or no” thinking might be. So, listeners, what does it mean to be 100% in? How do you know you’re 100% yes for something? Check this episode out to hear more about fast noes and slow yeses. Hear what we have to say about analog writing (by hand or via something like a typewriter), vs. digital composing (on phones, laptops, and the like). We also chat about a beloved Anthony Bourdain cookbook, why we talk to certain people about the mundane, and how a little struggle in our process might bring us just the degree of required intentionality we need to force ourselves to a place of 100%. And, from there, how to say "no!" We hope you enjoy this one! And by the end, we hope you’ll be ready to let us know: what's for dinner tonight?
Hi folks! In this episode, Cheri and Paul take some time to talk through some of the "shoulds." We sometimes refer to this notion, using the same terms as Ram Dass once did, as "should-ing yourself." Do you "should yourself”? What is behind the "shoulds” in your life? When you say that you, or someone else, "should" do something, who makes that determination, and to what end? We approach this whole conversation in terms of what we, and others, refer to as "mental load." We look at where our expectations come from, which expectations we place on ourselves, and which ones we accept or inherit from others. We also examine the possibility that some of these people who place expectations upon us are, to quote Cheri, "the invisible army of folks with expectations." How do you have a negotiation with someone who doesn't exist, but who is somehow telling you what you "should" do, and how you "should" be? We bring these questions to bear on what is, for many folks, the scourge of our professional lives. What is the greatest professional time-suck there is??? For many people, it's the dreaded email inbox! When is the last time that you had ZERO emails in your inbox? Is that even a goal that you aspire to, and what are the rules and/or guidelines that you use when relating to your email inbox? Would you say your relationship to your inbox is healthy, strained, necessary, or something more helpless feeling, like resigned?
We'd love to hear from you about your "shoulds," your relationship to them, who is actually doing the "should-ing," and what your life would be like if you did all the things that your "should"-self wants! Thank you for listening! Please let us know what you think.
Happy Tuesday, folks! This week we’re on vacation! But don’t despair: we took some time together a few weeks ago to pre-record this episode, so you’d get your regularly scheduled Tuesday afternoon podcast delivery! In fact, this episode is extra meaningful to us because we recorded it on July 1 - a date we consider the anniversary of all things Paul and Cheri. For this one, our first Heart episode, we got together in real life, had some lunch and recorded a conversation about what constitutes a meaningful thing! So, listener, what makes something meaningful to you? Cheri’s been trying to unpack that concept in her blog over the last month. In today’s podcast, Cheri and Paul take a stab at this question. Together they talk through what causes something to feel meaningful vs. meaningless, where and when they’ve discovered meaning in small moments, and what it means to get to the heart of a matter. Our exploration of meaning takes us to some big topics related to the heart: how do we sit with the suffering of others? What does it mean to allow others to see our authentic selves? What does compassion look like in our lives? How do we show up for those in our community? And how do we cultivate joy? In this episode, we give some ideas, suggestions, and some thoughts. Check it out! How do you find meaning in things?
Hey folks! Here’s a question for you… how do things move through your body, and what sorts of information do they convey when such things become known? What a question, right?? So how do we start a conversation like this? Obviously, with a brief conversation about music! One of our cherished listeners once asked us about our tastes in music, and, in honor of Ringo Starr’s 80th birthday, we thought we’d take a little time today to start to unpack that in the context of our bodies and our relationship with music. From there, we talk through the biology of anxiety and how it shows up in our bodies, the role of music in human evolution, and our relationship with the concept of “grit” as it pertains to the decisions we make about how to spend our time. Is “grind it out” a good thing? If you think you’re grinding it out, what does that inform you about yourself, your values, and the decisions you make on how to spend your time and your life?
Also, in the spirit of music, we’ve been talking a bit about what a This Most Unbelievable Life playlist might look like! What is your relationship with music, and what one or two songs would you contribute to a playlist for your most unbelievable life? Send them in on any of the social channels and we’ll compile.
This episode kicks off the first in a series of four episodes Cheri and Paul are doing this summer on the subject of "The Body." In the first half, they explore what it means to manage a human body and the various strategies folks use to take care of and monitor their human needs. Why do we have all of these fitness trackers and devices to monitor the state of our bodies, yet not always have it in us to act on that information, and how might we best serve ourselves by taking a little more time to listen to what our bodies have to say? In the second half, they shift their discussion to how bodies negotiate space. What is personal space? How much space does your body tell you that it needs? What does your personal space, and what you place into, on, and around it, inform you about yourself? How does your interaction with space reflect who you are? Explored in this episode - the eternal travel question... how do you divide four airplane seat armrests between three people? We're not sure that we offer a definitive answer to this question, but give it a listen, and let us know what you think!
Welcome to Summer! The temperature goes up, and many of us, in response, try to slow down a little. When we were young, summer was about family vacations in the car, barbecue in the back yard, baseball games, long days outside with friends, and warm summer nights. Nostalgia, indeed, for a time long past. We still carry those feelings of summer as a time for a break, and some space to wind down and get some relaxation. These days, however, we find that we may be just as busy in the summer as we were in the previous nine months. Is that because we're still doing the same things we were, or are we finally taking the time to do all the other things that we wanted to do, but didn't have the time or energy to do before? What is your summer routine like? Do you have a "summer brain" mode that you slip into? How would you describe your summer self? In this episode, we unpack some of the experiences from our own summers growing up, and wonder if we try to recapture those experiences or feelings as adults, or are we doing altogether different things? We'd love to know what summer was/is like for you! Give this one a listen, and let us know what you think and how your summer is going.
All things, known! You may have heard us use this phrase before, and we thought we would take a little time to talk through what we mean when we say it, and in what circumstances we find it to be an appropriate response. Is it an acknowledgement of what the other person said? Does it indicate a greater understanding of the universe and our place in it? Is it even possible for either of us to know all things? We think the answer might be both "no" and "yes," and that is OK! In this episode, we talk this through. We actually get a little philosophical in this one, and do a deep dive on the true nature of the rules that we develop to live our lives as things become... known. This is also the last episode of Season 1! Season 2 becoming known!
Paul and Cheri tend to talk about the “rates of things.” In their conversations, this phrase has a specific meaning: the “things” they’re talking about are the heart, the mind, and the body; the “rates” are the speeds at which each of these aspects of understanding are processed and move through a person. In this episode, they start to unpack what it looks like to process things in the mind, the body, and the heart. Together they explore how they process, which parts of the processing come most easily to them, and where they feel resistance. How do you process new information? Does it start with logic and then move to the body and emotion? Do you notice how things impact you physically before you understand how you feel about them? Take a listen and see how this podcast lands!
We originally planned this conversation to be about productivity, and how to stay productive during these dog days of summer. However, rather than recording on Tuesday as has been our custom, we elected to press pause on the podcast, participating in #theshowmustbepaused an initiative started by Jamila Thomas and Brianna Agyemang. During our normal podcast time, we instead reflected upon ourselves and our work together. This podcast is the product of that conversation. We still tackle productivity, but we ask: what does it mean to be a productive ally right now? What does it mean to contribute productively to anti-racist efforts? And what is the most productive work for us to do with ourselves right now? Please give this podcast a listen and let us know what you think, and maybe offer what you think the best work is for you right now.
In episode 6, we introduced and talked through what we referred to as our Principles of Community - Pandemic Edition. In that episode, we listed each one of our principles, provided a little context to each one, and talked about why we thought they were necessary. We posted that episode with a promise to release them for public viewing and comment. In this, our first bonus episode, Cheri and Paul officially release our Principles of Community for listener and community response and feedback, and acknowledge both the attempt, as well as the imperfections and potential shortcomings in these, our first-draft guidelines for community engagement. You can find the link to them on the Shared Spaces section of our website, and we would love to hear what you have to say about them upon further inspection.
Welcome to Spring! With social distancing in place and social routines disrupted, the changing of the seasons may not be so evident as they have been in past years. How have your routines changed over the past few months? When did you notice that the seasons have changed? What marks the coming of Spring for you? In this episode of This Most Unbelievable Podcast, Cheri and Paul talk about renewal, rebirth, new growth, and the opportunities that come with the changing of season from Winter to Spring. We talk about the purpose of Spring as a time to bring new opportunities, and reflect on how this podcast, throughout this first season, has paralleled the astronomical cycle. We also talk about the upcoming second season - Summer!
Today on the podcast, Cheri and Paul talk about one of the biggies that we both engage with on a pretty daily basis: resistance. But what is resistance? Is it an organized action against an oppressor? Is it the suppression of an urge or compulsion? Is it a feeling of discomfort when the narrative you have written for yourself conflicts with your known sense of present reality? Well, it can be all of those, and it could be something else entirely. Give this podcast a listen and let us know what the basis of your resistance is! We’d love to hear from you!
Asking the question “What if...?” can change the way we see the situations we face. As listeners probably know by now, Cheri and Paul love questions. Today’s podcast starts with the question: “What if...?” Together, they think through the "What if...?" of limiting beliefs, the stories we tell about ourselves, the foundational model of higher education, and the ways in which humans, as individuals, access and integrate information. We started this podcast in one place, and it led to some unexpected places! What is the "What if...?" that you ask yourself? Give this a listen and let us know! Enjoy!
How many times in your life have you asked, “What could possibly go wrong?” In this episode Cheri and Paul talk about moments that have caused them to ask this question of themselves and one another. In exploring this seemingly innocent question, they start to dig into the very human insecurities and motivations that might run underneath this line of inquiry. So to you, the listener, we ask... when have YOU asked yourself this question, and under what circumstances have you done so? What did this question ask of you? Please post your comments and responses in any of our social medias, or send us an email. After all, what could possibly go wrong???
What are the things that you find to be unbelievable? What is believable, and unbelievable, to you? In this episode, we talk about what is so unbelievable about this podcast, our work, our days, and our lives, and what makes them so. Is it that some things are truly counter to your view of the way things are, or are they only unbelievable in the context of your history and the story that you tell about yourself? Check it out as we try to pick this apart, and let us know what you find unbelievable in this episode! Leave comments on our Facebook or Instagram, or send us an email at thepaulandcheripod@gmail.com so we can integrate your thoughts and perspectives.
Are things feeling heavy and hard right now? Does anything feel light an easy? What makes anything feel light and easy anyway? In this episode, Cheri and Paul talk about the things that come light and easy to them along with the things that, for whatever reason, just don’t. How do personality types, expectations, and context shape how we approach the things we face in our days? Give this episode a listen and let us know what you think! What comes light and easy to you, and what makes it so?
How has social discourse changed as we’ve moved a majority of our group dynamics to the land of online videoconferencing platforms? Are the rules of engagement different from the ones we use in person? As we move quickly into these specific spaces, many of the spoken, and unspoken, guidelines that govern dynamics of groups have been loosened, and many of the inequities which permeate group interactions, including structural, cultural, and social inequity, may actually be magnified. In this podcast, Cheri and Paul share their experiences navigating both "in the flesh" and digitally mediated group meetings. Together they propose a set of guidelines to help promote inclusive interactions online. These guidelines are a work in progress, so please be kind but also be honest. How might these guidelines serve the groups you’re currently gathering? How might they fail you and your communities? Let’s brainstorm together about how to build strong principles of community!
What now? How do you answer this, and how do you relate to this question? In this episode, Cheri and Paul start by asking themselves, “What now?” They discuss the new shapes their lives are taking as they ease into week four of pandemic life. Is the question really, "what now?" or is it changing into a question where "what?" stands alone, and the answer for us as we live in this time, is simply, "NOW!" Listen and find out for yourself, and tell us how you answer this question.
In this episode, Cheri and Paul attempt to tackle the big questions about why this and why now? We've received these questions from listeners, and so far we managed to avoid answering them. Why did this happen? Why does anything happen? What determines when a creative endeavor or a collaboration comes to fruition? Although we may not come to a satisfactory answer, we finally talked about it; so enjoy, and please leave comments!
In this episode, Cheri and Paul talk about their history as students, scholars, and the decisions, causes, and conditions that played into becoming who they are personally, and professionally, today. You think it was all planned out and well organized? NOPE! Think again! It's a miracle it turned out as well as it did! Do you want some hints about what to do as you navigate the path? Well, we're not sure we have them, but this is what we got and it worked for us. Listen in and find out, and let us know what you think. What worked for you?
In this episode we talk about creating spaces. What is a space; how do you enable and create that; what are the intentions that go into it; and why is it so necessary anyway? As certified spaceholders, we discuss all of this, and more!