On Death Podcast – Eugene H Kim: Recent Episodes
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Bansi Savla Once Again! Bansi is a 26yo wife, radiation oncology resident, and mother of three ferrets. In the four years since our first interview in May 2016, Bansi has graduated medical school, finished her transitional year of residency, and begun the road to mastery in the field of radiation oncology. In this conversation, we discuss how and why she changed in those four years, the story of her courtship and marriage, and how it is difficult to choose a death when you know how people die these days.
Bansi is…
a resident in radiation oncology,
a wife,
a mother of three ferrets,
a daughter,
a daughter-in-law,
and a neighbor.
Before Bansi dies,to be a master in her field,
and wants to be okay with where she is.
When Bansi dies,
wants enough time and to be functional enough to say the things she wants to say and do the things she wants to do,
and wants something that lets her down gently.
After Bansi dies,
she wants her kids to be fully functioning and independent people,
and she wants to continue to have omniscient powers.
In conclusion, Bansi says…
“Laugh.
Have fun.
Don’t worry.
It’s all good.
Even when it’s not.
It’s going to be okay.”
Lobynn Cha! Lobynn is a 25yo daughter, entrepreneur, small business owner, and chef. I met Lobynn at her wonderful restaurant Little Miss Korea in Allentown, PA. During this conversation, we discuss her vagabond upbringing by missionary parents, how Koreans and Italians have more in common than you’d think, and how she navigates running a small business with her family. I hope you enjoy!
Lobynn is…
a daughter,
a sister,
a life partner,
a business woman,
and a student.
Before Lobynn dies, she wants…
to travel to all the places she wants to go,
to have a family,
to have financial freedom,
and to spend time with her family.
When Lobynn dies, she wants…
a really fun funeral if she dies young.
After Lobynn dies, she wants…
to give things to her grandchildren.
In conclusion, Lobynn says…
“If you have a vision and you have this recurring picture that you want to achieve, just go for it. Because it is all attainable.”
Stephen Jenkinson! Stephen is a 66yo teacher, author, story-teller, and musician. I met Stephen first through his incredible book, Die Wise, and truly enjoyed this conversation with a man who has spent time in the trenches and has already forgotten more about death than I will likely learn in my remaining life. During this conversation, he appropriately eviscerates the premise of the four prompts, we discuss how right/wrong is meaningless in the context of fulfilling the wolf’s role, and how advanced directives are a final grasp at control and autonomy.
You can find more about Stephen Jenkinson and his work at Orphan Wisdom here: www.orphanwisdom.com
You can find more about Stephen Jenkinson’s and Gregory Hoskin’s recent album DARK ROADS/ROUGH GODS here: www.orphanwisdom.com/dark-roads-rough-gods
Matt Michaud! Matt is a 35yo firefighter, paramedic, CrossFit affiliate owner, father, and husband. I met Matt when I lived in NH and I had the great privilege of coaching at his CrossFit gym, EverProven CrossFit. In this conversation, we discuss how he processed the recent news of his wife’s breast cancer diagnosis, the unexpected dangers associated with firefighting, and how his children help him leave those dangers at work.
Matt is…
a firefighter/paramedic,
a CrossFit affiliate owner,
a father,
and a husband.
Before Matt dies, he wants…
to set up his family for success,
to live his life as a good person,
and to go and experience things.
When Matt dies, he wants…
to be surrounded by people he cares about.
After Matt dies, he wants…
to be remembered by his family in a positive way,
and things in his life that live on.
In conclusion, Matt says…
“If you are somebody who is having a tough time in your life and you want to get yourself out of the predicament you are in, I think one thing you can do to make everything better is to see where you can help others because you’ll get satisfaction out of that and it is going to feel very rewarding and help you feel better about who you are and what you are. And it’s going to dictate who you are going to become in the future.”
Alexander Minot! Alexander is a 30yo son, partner, and dog father. I met Alexander in the years after college, through previous guest Adam Arazi. During this conversation, we discuss his Jewish upbringing, the death of his father two years ago, and the challenges of bringing his family together in the wake of that death. I hope you enjoy!
Alexander is…
a man in the middle of his life, going through a lot of changes and entering the second phase,
and in a good place in his life
Before Alexander dies, he wants…
to leave his world and his family in a better place than before he was there,
to see a lot of parts of the world,
and to build a more meaningful connection with the rest of his family.
When Alexander dies, he wants…
to be surrounded by his family,
and not in a hospital.
After Alexander dies, he wants…
to have something other than nothing.
In conclusion, Alexander says…
“Not everything is as personal as it seems. Everything is not so emotional.
It’s easier to be nice. It’s harder to be a jerk.”
Alana Karma! Alana is a 24yo survivor, growing human, and not a phoenix. This marks the third time Alana has joined us on the podcast, effectively ending the trilogy which began in 2017. Between that first interview and the second, she suffered a severe car accident which left her with brain damage and difficulty adjusting to her new life, as evidenced in that 2018 interview.
Now, almost three years after the initial interview and two years after the accident, we discuss life on the other side of forgiveness for someone that hurt you, how the coronavirus pandemic felt like everyone joining Alana in the “weird”, and how these days she identifies with a caterpillar more than a phoenix.
I hope you enjoy!
Alana is…nothing, nothing at all
not the Phoenix
Before Alana dies, she wants…us to deal with this tragedy with grace
and to become herself.
When Alana dies, she wants…
to see all these complications resolved somehow,
and to see everything on the uprise.
After Alana dies, she wants…to be remembered in the ways that people interact with the world.
In conclusion, Alana says…
“The first thing that I’m going to say is: drop your labels! Stop identifying with who you think you are and ask yourself who you are on the inside. Live by being the best version of who you are. Not better. I don’t like that word anymore. Drop your labels. Be the best you can.
Live by The Four Agreements.”
Morgan Allen! Morgan is a 30yo weightlifter, dog mom, and daughter. I met Morgan through her fiance, John Foley, my good friend and previous interviewee for the podcast.
During this conversation, we discuss her father’s death by suicide, the evolution of her family dynamics, and the hurdles to starting her own family.
Morgan is…
a literal person,
a girl,
a sister,
a daughter,
a fiancee,
a dog mom,
and a weight lifter.
Before Morgan dies, she wants…
to start a family,
to find her tribe of support systems and friends and people around her,
and to figure out how to have true balance in life
When Morgan dies, she wants…
to die peacefully and not in pain,
and her family and friends to not be left uncomfortable or burdened in anyway by her.
After Morgan dies, she wants…
life to go on.
In conclusion, Morgan says…
Look at everybody around you and be a little bit more open.
Colin Kirts! Colin is a 33yo teacher, father, and co-creator of Koru Real Wellness in Doylestown, PA.
During this conversation, we discuss Colin’s Catholic upbringing and how a trip to Scandinavia opened his eyes to the wider world, how he spent the years during his hippie commune phase, and how a rabbi became his elder mentor.
Colin is…
excited,
very present,
and comfortable.
Before Colin dies, he wants…to know he’s contributed enough.
When Colin dies, he wants…
to be conscious in a pleasant way.
After Colin dies, he wants…to allow for whatever is to happen,
and most people to exist in a way that is mostly pleasurable.
In conclusion, Colin says…
“I firmly believe that the potential for humanity is extraordinary and we haven’t maximized it. We’ve barely even scratched the surface of what’s possible for us as a species and as a global community.”
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Becky Orton! Becky is a 45yo mother, CrossFitter, and member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I met Becky while coaching at CrossFit Juggernaut in NH before entering medical school: she and her… More
Jerel Mair Once Again! Jerel is a 30yo follower of Christ, soon-to-be physician, and black man. Since the initial interview two and a half years ago, Jerel has joined the workforce and is currently preparing… More
Camy I! Camy is a 26yo OB/GYN resident physician and suicide survivor. Between the August 2017 initial interview and this conversation, Camy has finished medical school, attempted suicide, and begun her intern year of residency.… More
Ashley Caron! Ashley is a 36yo Burly human, athlete, and badass mom. I met Ashley through her spouse, Michael, a previous interviewee on the podcast who is equally motivated and inspirational. During this conversation, we… More
Jim Goodreau! Jim is a 71yo retired vascular surgeon, Air Force brat, and grieving father. I met Jim as a coach for my medical school program, SELECT, and I’ve been itching to sit down with… More
Alana Karma Returns! Alana is a 22yo survivor, phoenix, and hyperdimensional immortal alien. Since our last conversation 16mo ago, she endured a horrific car accident that left her in a coma, without the use of… More
Hunter Frost! Hunter is a 20yo tree climber, country boy, and survivor. He is also my brother-in-law and we sat down for this interview 2mo after a horrific car accident in which he fractured his… More
Jen Rudolph! Jen is a 39yo journeyer, mother, and wife. During this conversation, we discuss why she tries to withhold judgment on other minivans, the peace she felt when her grandfather died in his sleep,… More