Zen Parenting Radio: Recent Episodes
Todd and Cathy Adams
Zen Parenting is a weekly online radio discussion between a spiritual and emotional mom (Cathy Cassani Adams) and a logical and practical dad (Todd Adams). Anyone else living a life like that?
Cathy and Todd discuss Top Gun: Maverick to complete their summer blockbuster series, the 2022 legacy sequel that brought Tom Cruise back to the role that made him famous, three decades (and a pandemic delay) later. They talk about Val Kilmer’s real battle with throat cancer and how it shaped his return as Iceman, discuss the film’s themes of grief, legacy, and mentorship, debate why Jon Hamm’s character is such a dick, and share Cathy’s deeply conflicted feelings about Tom Cruise, who happens to look a lot like Todd. They also discussed the original Top Gun (1986) earlier in the summer, click here to listen: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/top-gun-episode-871/id414414318?i=1000770790944
Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Moment and upgrade to hear a weekly Zen Moment podcast hosted by Cathy and Todd!
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
Cathy and Todd continue their summer blockbuster series and discuss Wedding Crashers, the 2005 comedy starring Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson that grossed $288.5 million on a $40 million budget. They cover the cast including Rachel McAdams, Isla Fisher, Christopher Walken, Bradley Cooper, and Jane Seymour, plus behind-the-scenes trivia like the almost-cast Justin Long, the scrapped Daniel Craig sequel, and Owen Wilson’s improvised “Rules” of wedding crashing. They count down the movie’s best quotes and talk through the film’s male friendship theme.
Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Moment and upgrade to hear a weekly Zen Moment podcast hosted by Cathy and Todd!
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
Cathy and Todd discuss the most recent summer blockbuster, The Odyssey, Christopher Nolan’s take on Homer’s epic and why a 2,700-year-old story about identity, home, and longing still hits just as hard today. From the Cyclops to the Sirens to Circe, they trace the myths and monsters and what those stories still reveal about who we are, and why the humanities matter to a thriving culture. It’s also a conversation about disguise and belonging, and why it’s so hard to come home when the choices of war change the world and leave shame behind.
Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Moment and upgrade to hear a weekly Zen Moment podcast hosted by Cathy and Todd!
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
Cathy and Todd continue their summer blockbusters series with National Lampoon’s Animal House (1978), John Landis’s frat-house classic that launched the college-comedy genre. They discuss the cast, behind-the-scenes trivia, the film’s most WTF scenes, and their own experiences in the Greek system. They also list the top 15 fraternity party songs of the early ’90s, plus the top ten things Animal House gave us that are still discussed, used, or homaged today.
Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Moment and upgrade to hear a weekly Zen Moment podcast hosted by Cathy and Todd!
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
Cathy and Todd discuss Back to the Future for their summer blockbuster series, Robert Zemeckis’s 1985 time-travel classic that took nearly 40 rejections to get made before Steven Spielberg got involved. They discuss how Eric Stoltz was originally cast as Marty McFly and shot for five weeks before being replaced by Michael J. Fox, who then secretly filmed the movie at night while shooting Family Ties by day. On a $19 million budget, the film grossed nearly $400 million and became a cultural touchstone, complete with an uncredited Huey Lewis cameo and a Crispin Glover lawsuit that changed how Hollywood handles an actor’s likeness. They dig into why it still resonates including the butterfly-effect plot, the idea of meeting your parents as flawed kids just like you, and Doc’s closing line — “your future hasn’t been written yet” — as the real heart of the film.
Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Moment and upgrade to hear a weekly Zen Moment podcast hosted by Cathy and Todd!
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
Cathy and Todd discuss Apple TV’s Widow’s Bay, the 10-episode horror-comedy that has a 98% on Rotten Tomatoes and an early season two renewal. They discuss its “Parks and Rec meets Stephen King” premise and its numerous horror movie homages including Carrie, The Wicker Man, The Shining, Jaws, Halloween, and more. It’s small-town bureaucracy, ancient sea-gods, a resurrected Boogeyman, and sunset cocktails all in one, and they knew they needed to discuss this one-of-a-kind show.
Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Moment and upgrade to hear a weekly Zen Moment podcast hosted by Cathy and Todd!
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
Cathy, Todd, Jacey, Camryn, and Skylar draft their way through 10 movie categories: horror/thriller, rom-com, animated, 80s, since 2020, based on a book, sports, most rewatched, holiday, and honorable mention. Snake draft order, 10 rounds, everyone answers every category exactly once.
Whose picks are closest to yours?
Part 2 of 2.
Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Moment and upgrade to hear a weekly Zen Moment podcast hosted by Cathy and Todd!
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
Cathy, Todd, Jacey, Camryn, and Skylar draft their way through 10 movie categories: horror/thriller, rom-com, animated, 80s, since 2020, based on a book, sports, most rewatched, holiday, and honorable mention. Snake draft order, 10 rounds, everyone answers every category exactly once.
Whose picks are closest to yours?
Part 1 of 2.
Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Moment and upgrade to hear a weekly Zen Moment podcast hosted by Cathy and Todd!
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
Cathy and Todd continue their summer blockbusters series with Terminator 2: Judgment Day, James Cameron’s 1991 sci-fi action landmark that grossed $519 million on a then-record $102 million budget and won four Academy Awards. They cover the best behind-the-scenes stories, including how Billy Idol was originally cast as the T-1000 before a motorcycle accident took him out, how Edward Furlong was discovered at a Pasadena Boys and Girls Club with zero acting experience, and why Robert Patrick trained so relentlessly that he outran the insert car on the very first take of the mall chase scene.
Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Moment and upgrade to hear a weekly Zen Moment podcast hosted by Cathy and Todd!
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
Cathy and Todd discuss Gladiator, released in 2000 and directed by Ridley Scott, it stars Russell Crowe as Maximus, a Roman general betrayed by the Emperor’s son Commodus, who murders his own father Marcus Aurelius to seize power, then orders the execution of Maximus and his entire family. Sold into slavery and forced into the arena, Maximus fights his way back to Rome for one purpose: vengeance. With a box office of $466 million, five Academy Awards including Best Picture and Best Actor for Crowe, and a Hans Zimmer score that became one of the bestselling soundtracks of all time, the film didn’t just succeed, it reinvented an entire genre and inspired everything from HBO’s Rome to The Hunger Games. It’s filled with unforgettable lines like, “What we do in life echoes in eternity” and “Are you not entertained?”, and it happens to be one of Cathy’s all-time favorite movies.
Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Moment and upgrade to hear a weekly Zen Moment podcast hosted by Cathy and Todd!
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
Cathy and Todd continue their summer blockbusters series with Raiders of the Lost Ark, the George Lucas and Steven Spielberg collaboration born from a beach conversation in Hawaii, diving into the film’s origins, iconic casting (Tom Selleck almost got the role), and the chaotic Tunisia shoot where nearly the entire cast and crew got food poisoning. They rank history’s oddest movie titles, wrestle with the film’s deeply uncomfortable Marion subplot, and close out with why Raiders still holds up as a masterclass in humble heroism and why Indy wins in the end by simply closing his eyes.
Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Moment and upgrade to hear a weekly Zen Moment podcast hosted by Cathy and Todd!
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
Cathy and Todd kick off their summer blockbuster series with Top Gun (1986), directed by Tony Scott and produced by Simpson and Bruckheimer, which turned a $15 million budget into $357 million worldwide and made Tom Cruise a superstar. The episode covers the Scott brothers’ contrasting Hollywood legacies, the Navy’s behind-the-scenes script approval that reshaped the story, plus fun trivia like Cruise’s height-correcting boots and Meg Ryan secretly dating Anthony Edwards on set all while debating whether Iceman was the better pilot and whether Quentin Tarantino’s theory about the subtext is correct.
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
Cathy and Todd discuss Mel Brooks’ Spaceballs for Zen Pop’s space month, a 1987 Star Wars parody following Lone Starr and his half-man half-dog sidekick Barf as they rescue Princess Vespa from Dark Helmet and the incompetent President Skroob (whose name is literally an anagram of Brooks). The cast includes Bill Pullman, John Candy, Rick Moranis, Daphne Zuniga, Joan Rivers, and Dom DeLuise as Pizza the Hutt. They discuss the WTF moments, the lines they quote at home, and the news that a sequel, Spaceballs: The New One, arrives April 23, 2027 with most of the original cast returning.
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
- Join Team Zen
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
Cathy and Todd discuss Christopher Nolan’s Interstellar for Space Month – the dying Earth, the wormhole near Saturn, the black hole that swallows decades of a man’s life while his daughter grows old without him. They get into Matt Damon showing up two-thirds through as a villain nobody knew was in the movie, why Anne Hathaway’s love speech is the whole point of the film, the fact that Nolan grew 500 acres of real corn for the opening scenes, and the science behind the black hole Gargantua that was so accurate it accidentally produced two peer-reviewed papers. Plus the bigger question the movie keeps circling: what if love isn’t just a feeling, but something woven into the actual structure of the universe?
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
- Join Team Zen
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
Cathy and Todd discuss Apollo 13 (1995) for Space Month, Ron Howard’s docudrama starring Tom Hanks, Kevin Bacon, Bill Paxton, Gary Sinise, and Ed Harris, based on the true story of NASA’s near-disastrous 1970 lunar mission. The film was nominated for nine Academy Awards and grossed over $355 million worldwide, cementing its place as one of the great survival stories ever put on screen. They discuss the complicated legacies of the astronauts, the emotional devastation of the wives left behind, and why the most famous line in the film isn’t what anyone actually said.
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
- Join Team Zen
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
It’s Space Month on Zen Pop, and Cathy and Todd are talking about E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, the Steven Spielberg film he called the first movie he ever made for himself. They discuss why it dominated 1982 and held the all-time worldwide box office record for eleven years, the Reese’s Pieces deal that made Mars look very foolish, the Atari game so bad they buried it in the desert, and why at its core this movie is really about divorce, grief, and two outsiders who find each other.
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
- Join Team Zen
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
Cathy and Todd discuss Rocky IV, the 1985 film that Sylvester Stallone wrote, directed, and starred in, grossing $300 million on a $31 million budget and spending six weeks at number one over Christmas. They break down Apollo Creed’s shocking death at the hands of Ivan Drago and the real story of Brigitte Nielsen sliding a photo under Stallone’s hotel room door and landing a role he wrote specifically for her. They dig into what the film is really about, whether Drago is a villain or the Soviet state’s most tragic victim, how every great sports movie is secretly about an individual fighting an institution that doesn’t want them to win, and why a film that won five Razzie Awards is still so beloved to this day. This is our last entry for Rocky month!
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
- Join Team Zen
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
Cathy and Todd discuss Rocky 3, the 1982 sequel where Stallone ditched everything that made the first two movies feel real and ended up with the biggest hit of the franchise anyway. They talk about where Mr. T came from, how Hulk Hogan got hired, and how Stallone dropped 40 pounds so fast it caused memory loss. They get into how “Eye of the Tiger” only exists because Queen said no, the statue that Philadelphia didn’t want, and an ending that freezes mid-fight. Also Paulie, because there’s always something to say about Paulie.
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
- Join Team Zen
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
Cathy and Todd discuss Rocky II (1979), the Sylvester Stallone-written and directed sequel that earned $200 million worldwide and briefly became the highest-grossing sequel ever made. They break down the film’s best behind-the-scenes stories and hidden details, make the case that Apollo Creed is actually the more compelling character in the film, and explore how Rocky II quietly lays the emotional foundation for the entire Creed franchise decades later.
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
- Join Team Zen
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
Cathy and Todd discuss Rocky (1976), a film that feels more like a documentary than a traditional sports movie, set in the working-class neighborhoods of Philadelphia and made on a shoestring budget by writer and star Sylvester Stallone and director John G. Avildsen. The story follows Rocky Balboa, a small-time boxer and part-time debt collector living an almost invisible life, who unexpectedly gets a shot at the heavyweight title against champion Apollo Creed as a publicity stunt. At its core, the film is about Rocky trying to prove he’s not a “bum,” developing his relationship with Adrian, and wrestling with the deeper question of self-worth over winning. It’s a grounded, human portrait of people searching for meaning and wanting their lives to matter, even if they don’t win. They’ll continue with Rocky II next week as part of their Rocky Month series.
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
- Join Team Zen
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
To celebrate spring and baseball season, Cathy and Todd discuss Major League, the 1989 baseball comedy that wasn’t supposed to be a huge hit but ended up sticking around for decades. They get into the cast including Tom Berenger, Charlie Sheen, Wesley Snipes, and Rene Russo and the behind-the-scenes details, like filming in Milwaukee instead of Cleveland and Sheen having legit pitching skills. They also talk about the tone of the movie, how it got away with being a little rougher and more irreverent than expected, and why it became such a cable TV regular.
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
- Join Team Zen
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
Cathy and Todd discuss Dirty Dancing and how a low-budget film about a summer romance became a cultural phenomenon and why it still resonates. They explore how it’s not just a love story between Johnny and Baby, but also a deeper look at class tension, autonomy, and a girl finding her voice. They dig into behind-the-scenes tension, surprising casting what-ifs, and the film’s groundbreaking abortion storyline set in pre-Roe America, along with the chilling way privilege and disposability show up through characters like Robbie. It’s nostalgia, cultural analysis, and an important look at a movie that’s always been about more than just dancing.
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- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
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Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
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- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
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Cathy and Todd discuss Billy Elliot (2000), the British film set during the 1984–85 miners’ strike about a working-class boy who secretly pursues ballet while his community expects him to box and follow the rigid rules of masculinity. Using the film as a lens, they also discuss the documentaryLouis Theroux: Inside the Manosphere, exploring how ideas about what boys “should” be, tough, unemotional, traditionally masculine, continue to shape conversations about gender today. They discuss the cultural impact of Billy Elliot, from its eventual transformation into the hit Elton John stage musical to the way the story challenges assumptions about masculinity through Billy’s passion for dance and his friendship with Michael. They also reflect on the powerful Swan Lake finale, where Billy’s final leap onstage becomes a symbol of freedom, an image of a boy stepping beyond the expectations of his community to become fully himself.
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- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
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Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
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- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
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Dance month continues as Cathy and Todd discuss the 1983 film Flashdance, directed by Adrian Lyne and written by Tom Hedley and Joe Eszterhas, a movie that helped define the early-1980s MTV-style of filmmaking with its fast cuts, dance scenes, and unforgettable soundtrack. Starring Jennifer Beals as Alex, a young steel mill welder who dances at night while dreaming of becoming a professional dancer, the film blends working-class ambition and romance. They discuss why the movie became such a cultural moment, from its Oscar-winning song “Flashdance… What a Feeling” by Irene Cara to its iconic fashion and dance scenes, while also focusing on some of the film’s contradictions around female ambition, performance, and power. Last week was Footloose, next week, Billy Elliott!
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- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
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Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
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Jump back! Cathy and Todd discuss Footloose to kick off Dance Month! Directed by Herbert Ross and released in 1984, Footloose made Kevin Bacon a star and helped define the MTV-era teen movie. But beneath the music this $8 million film (that grossed over $80 million worldwide) is really about grief, fear, father-daughter tension, and a town trying to outrun tragedy. Cathy and Todd discuss the culture clash between Ren and Reverend Moore (John Lithgow), Ariel’s push for independence, and the wisdom of Vi Moore (Dianne Wiest). They talk hot takes and WTF moments, the real Oklahoma town that inspired the ban, and why the final prom isn’t just a dance, it’s a community loosening its grip on fear.
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- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
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Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
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Cathy and Todd discuss The Wedding Singer and why this Adam Sandler–Drew Barrymore rom-com lived fully inside the 80’s, the music, the clothes, and all that emotional earnestness. They talk about the chemistry that made it work and the unexpectedly sharp stuff underneath, and what happens when genuinely open-hearted people fall in love with each other. They get into Steve Buscemi’s awesome chaotic presence and why the soundtrack sold so many copies. The Wedding Singer helped reframe the ’80s as emotionally formative and it’s remained one of the most loved rom-coms of its era.
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- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
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Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
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- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
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In this episode of Zen Pop Parenting, Cathy and Todd dive into the psychological thriller Misery and explore what makes it so deeply unsettling decades later. Through the intense dynamic between Paul Sheldon and Annie Wilkes, they unpack themes of control, obsession, entitlement, and the dangerous illusion of “love” without boundaries. Using the film as a lens, they examine how fear, power, and identity shape relationships—and what this story reveals about emotional captivity in both subtle and extreme forms.
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- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
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Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
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Categories
Best 80’s Romance
Best 90’s Romance
Best Romantic Comedy
Best Dramatic Romance
Best Forbidden Love
Best TV Romance
Worst TV Romance
Best Romance, Right Now (2026)
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- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
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Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
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- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
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Cathy and Todd discuss Best in Show to honor Catherine O’Hara and dive into America’s Mayflower Kennel Club Dog Show in Philadelphia, where nothing “big” happens and that is exactly the joke. They examine Christopher Guest’s mockumentary style, made without a traditional script, in which an ensemble performs identity inside a highly rule-bound world. They move through their typical categories and share plenty of their favorite clips as they explore how the film, released in 2000 before reality TV normalized confessionals, predicted The Office and Parks and Recreation. Cathy and Todd connect the movie to modern life, where we curate versions of ourselves at school, work, in parenting spaces, and on social media, and reflect on what this means for girls who are trained to perform likability, calm, and competence.
Some Ways to Support Us
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- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
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Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
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- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
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Todd and Cathy discuss The Sure Thing (1985), Rob Reiner’s early, quietly subversive road-trip rom-com starring John Cusack as Gib Lloyd, a smart, restless college guy chasing a guaranteed hookup that slowly reveals itself to be hollow, alongside Daphne Zuniga’s Alison Bradbury, a sharp, principled counterpoint who refuses to play the “cool girl.” Set in a pre-internet, pre-cell-phone America, the film captures mid-80s college culture while exploring the tension between impulse and integrity, desire and discernment, with Anthony Edwards’ best friend serving as a cautionary caricature of male entitlement and Nicollette Sheridan’s “sure thing” functioning more as fantasy than human. They share why Reiner softened the original raunchy premise into something more meaningful and human, and how the movie quietly suggests that growth, conversation, and shared values are the real turn-ons. Todd and Cathy also dive into their regular categories, plus their five favorite John Cusack movies and their five favorite two-person road-trip films.
Say Anything
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- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
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Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
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Cathy and Todd discuss Why Heated Rivalry Matters, digging into why this hockey romance has become such a cultural lightning rod and emotional touchstone. They talk about Rachel Reid’s novel and the TV adaptation, but mostly they focus on what’s really happening alongside the sex scenes: two very different expressions of masculinity learning how to coexist without hierarchy, punishment, or performance. The conversation moves from the slow-burn relationship between Shane and Ilya to why so many women, queer viewers, and romance fans trust this story and feel oddly comforted by it. They explore how the show models emotional safety, real repair, and power that doesn’t turn into harm, and why that feels rare right now. It’s a mix of pop culture, psychology, and cultural reckoning about intimacy, vulnerability, and what people are longing for in relationships today.
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- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
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Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
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- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
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Cathy and Todd discuss A Few Good Men, a courtroom drama set inside the military justice system about power, loyalty, and what happens when following orders starts to feel wrong. They go through their usual categories, talk about why the movie still works all these years later, and give props to Jo Galloway who was dismissed for being “too much,” yet was right all along. The share why this film hit so hard for people who grew up learning the rules and then had to decide when to question them. PLUS they spend the first 10 minutes discussing the Chicago Bears – Bear Down!
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- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
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Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
Some Ways to Support Us
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- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
- Join Team Zen
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
We decided to re-run an old “Pop Culturing” Podcast in honor of the tragic death of Rob Reiner and his wife Michele. We will be creating 4 new Zen Pop Episodes based off of 4 other Rob Reiner films for the month of January.
When Harry Met Sally… is a 1989 American romantic comedy film written by Nora Ephron and directed by Rob Reiner. It stars Billy Crystal as Harry and Meg Ryan as Sally. The story follows the title characters from the time they meet in Chicago just before sharing a cross-country drive, through twelve years of chance encounters in New York City. The film raises the question “Can men and women ever just be friends?” and advances many ideas about relationships that became household concepts, such as “high-maintenance” and the “transitional person”.
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- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
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Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
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- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
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Cathy and Todd discuss Love Actually as part of their “Christmas movies that might not actually be Christmas movies” month. Released in November 2003 and written and directed by Richard Curtis, the film uses its London-at-Christmas setting, stacked ensemble cast, and interwoven stories of romantic, familial, awkward, and heartbreaking love to reflect a long-held worldview: messy humans and basic decency still matter. Cathy and Todd go through their categories, debate the storylines, and unpack why its message that “love is all around” became an annual ritual for so many—and what lands differently when we watch it now..
Some Ways to Support Us
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- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
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Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
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Cathy and Todd talk about The Family Stone and why it works so well as “a Christmas movie that isn’t really a Christmas movie”. They explore how it’s a story about family systems, grief, belonging, and what happens when someone new steps into a familiar and often fragile emotional ecosystem. They get into the best family movies, the most uncomfortable scenes, each character’s role, birth order patterns, sibling energy, and the tension Meredith brings into the house. They also look at why this messy and tender story is still such a holiday staple twenty years later.
Some Ways to Support Us
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- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
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Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
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Cathy and Todd discuss Trading Places for “Christmas movies that might not be Christmas movies” month. John Landis’ 1983 comedy-satire dropped the same year as Return of the Jedi, Flashdance, WarGames, and Risky Business, yet still became one of the biggest hits of the year. With Dan Aykroyd, a very young Eddie Murphy (only 21!), Jamie Lee Curtis, and a plot that dives deep into class and privilege, they discuss what the movie was saying about wealth, meritocracy, and who gets access, along with the complicated, messy, and very 80s parts that would never make it past a studio today.
Some Ways to Support Us
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- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
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Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
Cathy and Todd discuss Die Hard, the 1988 action classic that redefined the genre, covering everything from its Christmas Eve plot and iconic Nakatomi Plaza setting to the film’s surprisingly heartfelt themes of family, reconciliation, and love. They discuss why so many (including Cathy) consider it a Christmas movie, break down the characters and casting surprises, highlight the film’s legacy and genre-shaping influence, and share the behind-the-scenes stories that made Bruce Willis’s hero an unexpected cultural icon. From Hans Gruber’s unforgettable villainy to the film’s “Die Hard in a ____” effect across decades of action films, it’s a nostalgic and big-hearted look at why this movie endures and why so many of us return to it every holiday season.
Some Ways to Support Us
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- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
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Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
Cathy and Todd discuss the making of Toy Story, the 1995 film that changed animation forever. They explore the film’s massive cultural impact and the introduction of emotionally complex heroes like Woody and Buzz, who grew up alongside their audience. They also look at the creative forces behind the movie, including John Lasseter’s rise and fall and the way Pixar rebuilt its culture in the wake of industry reckonings. They dive into the random facts, hidden jokes, emotional details, and psychological layers that make the movie endlessly rewatchable, from Randy Newman’s music to Sid’s misunderstood chaos.
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- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
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Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
Cathy and Todd discuss Forrest Gump, a movie they’ve loved for years, one they even saw together when it first came out. They explore how this emotional epic serves as both parable and modern American myth, following Forrest’s innocence through some of the country’s most turbulent moments while Jenny’s life reflects a very different America marked by trauma, rebellion, and survival. They dig into the ongoing debate over whether Forrest Gump deserved to win Best Picture over Pulp Fiction and The Shawshank Redemption, and laugh about how many lines from the movie have become part of their everyday conversations. This is the third film in our Tom Hanks month – we’ve already covered Big and Cast Away, and next week we’ll wrap up with Toy Story.
Some Ways to Support Us
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- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
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Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
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Cathy and Todd continue Tom Hanks Month with Cast Away, the 2000 classic that came out just as the world was speeding up with email, cell phones, and the dot-com boom. They talk about how this quiet, lonely movie made such an impact and why it hit so differently in an era obsessed with productivity and control. They go through their categories and favorite scenes to share what makes the movie so memorable, and then “roll in the deep” about what makes it so meaningful – from Chuck’s relationship with Wilson to his final crossroads, and what the story says about time, survival, and what it means to really be alive.
Some Ways to Support Us
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- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
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Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
To kick off Tom Hanks month, Cathy and Todd revisit Big, the 1988 classic that made him a star and reminded us what it means to grow up too fast. The movie blends humor, heart, and magic (and a somewhat inappropriate romance), letting us laugh at the absurdity of adult life while remembering what it felt like to be young. They talk about why Big still matters, why friendship is at the core of the story, and how Penny Marshall’s direction brought depth to a wild premise. They also discuss what the story reveals about growing up, parenting, and the pressure to “perform” adulthood.
Cathy and Todd discuss Se7en, David Fincher’s dark and unforgettable thriller. They talk about how the movie came together from the casting of Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman to the decision to keep Kevin Spacey’s role a secret, and how Fincher’s style changed what crime movies could be. They also dig into the story’s moral questions, the infamous ending, and why Se7en still hits just as hard today as it did in 1995. They also talk about how the film shaped Fincher’s career and how the seven deadly sins still show up in our culture.
Some Ways to Support Us
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- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
- Join Team Zen
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
Cathy and Todd discuss The Haunting of Hill House and how Mike Flanagan turned a classic ghost story into an emotional story of family trauma, grief, and repair. From the houses we grew up in to the ghosts we still carry, they talk about the energy that lingers and the monsters we end up sympathizing with. They discuss why Hill House hit Gen X so deeply, how it flipped horror into therapy, made the supernatural feel like emotional realism, and showed that the scariest hauntings are simply the things our families were never willing to talk about. It’s a conversation about home, loss, and what happens when we finally stop running from our ghosts and choose to accept, forgive, and integrate our past.
Some Ways to Support Us
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- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
- Join Team Zen
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
Released in 2008, Twilight dropped into a perfect cultural storm with Obama’s election, iPhones taking off, emo Tumblr in full swing, and the YA craze exploding after Harry Potter. Catherine Hardwicke’s film felt raw and indie with blue-grey filters, handheld cameras, and the emotional awkwardness of being seventeen. It wasn’t polished Hollywood fantasy; it was sincere and strange, which made it real to the girls and women who saw themselves in Bella’s clumsy intensity. The story of a human girl who falls for a vampire who might kill her, mixed romance, danger, and repression in a way that was both thrilling and uncomfortable. It gave us Edward’s brooding abstinence, Jacob’s rivalry, baseball in a thunderstorm, and that unforgettable line: “Hold on tight, spider monkey.” It was about longing, isolation, and the fantasy of being truly seen, a theme that shaped a generation’s idea of love.
Some Ways to Support Us
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- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
- Join Team Zen
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
When Scream hit theaters in 1996, horror was stuck in a loop of sequels and fading scares. What made Scream different was its sharp, self-aware, and deeply Gen X voice. It mocked the rules of slashers while playing by them, spoke the language of VHS rentals and MTV, and turned Ghostface into an instant icon. In this episode, we look at how Scream captured a generation’s worldview, why Millennials later made it their own, and how it reshaped horror for everything that came after.
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
- Join Team Zen
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
SummaryWhen Scream hit theaters in 1996, horror was stuck in a loop of sequels and fading scares. What made Scream different was its sharp, self-aware, and deeply Gen X voice. It mocked the rules of slashers while playing by them, spoke the language of VHS rentals and MTV, and turned Ghostface into an instant icon. In this episode, we look at how Scream captured a generation’s worldview, why Millennials later made it their own, and how it reshaped horror for everything that came after.
Horror Movies and Parenting InsightsStuey and Kathy introduce their podcast episode, “Zen Pop Parenting,” which focuses on a deeper analysis of horror movies, including Scream, as part of their “Spooky Season” series. They discuss the movie’s themes of depth, humor, and meta-commentary on horror genres, and plan to cover Twilight and The Haunting of Hill House in upcoming episodes. Stuey mentions Kathy’s book, “Restoring Our Girls,” as a potential Halloween gift. The episode aims to explore personal connections to horror while providing entertainment and reflection.
Scream: A Gen X Horror ClassicStuey discussed the 1996 film Scream, explaining its plot, characters, and cultural significance. He noted that the movie was a Gen X film, featuring actors of their age group, and served as a reboot of the horror genre. Stuey also compared Scream to Halloween, highlighting how the two films represented different eras of movie-watching experiences for different generations.
Movie Budget and Horror PreferencesStuey discussed the success of a movie with a $15 million budget that grossed over $170 million worldwide. He shared his personal preferences for horror movies, explaining that he can watch them but is often distracted by the presence of a boom mic holder, unlike his partner who covers her eyes. Stuey also mentioned his experience watching the Scream series, noting that he prefers anticipation over graphic violence. He played a game of “two truths and a lie” related to the Scream franchise, and they discussed how phone etiquette has changed over time.
Scream’s Influence on Horror FilmsStuey discussed the creation and references of the horror film Scream, including its writer Kevin Williamson’s inspiration from a documentary about Danny Rowling and the use of the Ghostface mask. He highlighted the film’s influence on caller ID usage and its references to other horror movies like Halloween, Friday the 13th, and A Nightmare on Elm Street. Stuey also mentioned that Neve Campbell was nearly typecast in horror films due to her role in Scream and The Craft.
Scream Movie Trivia DiscussionStuey shared interesting trivia about the “Scream” movie, including how Matthew Lillard wasn’t supposed to audition but landed the role of Stu, and how Courtney Cox met her husband David Arquette on set. They discussed the movie’s plot, including the motive for the killings and Stu’s unique character. Stuey also pointed out some inconsistencies in the movie, such as the ease with which the killer moves the victim and the trope of a boyfriend sneaking into his girlfriend’s bedroom, which is common in 80s movies.
Garage Door Safety in MoviesStuey discussed the unrealistic portrayal of garage door safety in a movie scene and criticized the 1980s-style depiction of teenagers being killed by TVs. He also analyzed the rules for surviving horror movies, as outlined by the character Randy in the film Scream, which include avoiding sex, drugs, and making promises to return.
Horror Movie Rules and TropesStuey discussed various horror movie tropes and rules, including not going outside for strange noises, not splitting up, and not asking who’s there. He also highlighted specific examples from the movie “Scream,” such as Sydney following her own advice by going out the front door. Stuey introduced a new category called “Hidden Gems,” which includes actors’ cameos and small details that viewers might not notice on first viewing. He mentioned Linda Blair’s brief appearance in the film and the interesting fact that the high school scenes were initially meant to be shot at Santa Rosa High School but had to be moved due to the school board’s concerns about the film’s violent content.
Scream’s Humorous and Unengaging ElementsStuey discussed the comedic elements in the movie “Scream,” particularly focusing on the unintentional tripping of the Ghostface character, which added a humorous touch to the film. He also expressed his lack of interest in the “Hall Pass” section, specifically the character Dewey, played by David Arquette, whom he found unengaging and unnecessary to the plot. Stuey compared Dewey’s character to a less successful “Friends” episode, highlighting the lack of humor and coherence in the storyline.
Rolling in the Deep AnalysisStuey discussed the film “Rolling in the Deep,” focusing on Sydney’s unresolved trauma from her mother’s murder and Billy’s inappropriate response to her grief. He criticized the film’s portrayal of Sydney as a tease and its misogynistic undertones. Stuey also explored themes of grief and betrayal in the movie, noting how horror films often use these emotions to create fear. He emphasized that betrayal, like grief, is a significant fear for humans due to the sense of isolation it brings.
Self-Awareness in Meta MoviesStuey discussed the concept of meta movies, explaining that they are self-aware and comment on themselves and their genre. He used the example of “Scream” to illustrate this, noting its references to other horror movies and its self-referential nature. Stuey also mentioned that they and Todd had decided not to include “Children of the Corn” in their spooky season lineup due to its poor quality.
Horror Meta and Cultural ImpactStuey discussed the meta aspects of horror movies, particularly Scream, and how they subvert audience expectations while still engaging with genre conventions. He noted that horror films are relatively low-risk investments for studios due to their consistent profitability, whether successful or not. Stuey also highlighted the film’s cultural impact, including its influence on subsequent meta-horror works like Scary Movie and Cabin in the Woods. The discussion concluded with a music game, where Stuey chose Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” to relate to the film’s self-aware critique of genre tropes, and he announced that the next meeting would focus on Twilight.
Cathy and Todd revisit John Carpenter’s Halloween, the 1978 film that cost just over $300,000 to make and went on to shape the slasher genre. For Gen X kids, it was more than a scary movie, it was a cultural milestone. They talk about why the suburban setting felt so close to home, how a cheap William Shatner mask turned into Michael Myers, and why Laurie Strode became the blueprint for the “final girl.” They also point out the small details you might miss on rewatch, talk about the film’s influence on later directors, and share their favorite final girls and boogeymen from the entire horror genre.
Some Ways to Support Us
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- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
- Join Team Zen
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
Airplane! hit theaters in 1980 and reshaped comedy for Gen X. It was a clear break from the more earnest films of the ’70s and set the tone for how parody and absurdist humor would play out for decades. By casting serious actors like Leslie Nielsen, Lloyd Bridges & Robert Stack to deliver nonsense with total sincerity, the Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker team created a template that influenced everything from The Naked Gun and Hot Shots! to the joke-a-minute rhythm of The Simpsons, 30 Rock, and Community. It wasn’t just a hit movie; it changed the way comedy looked and sounded going forward.
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
- Join Team Zen
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
Summary
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Airplane” Comedy Podcast DiscussionIn this episode of Zen Top Parenting, hosts Todd and Kathy Adams discuss their decision to focus on the classic comedy film “Airplane” for their latest podcast, choosing it over other contemporary pop culture topics. They introduce new podcast categories, including jokes that went over their heads as children and a game called “Two Truths and One Lie” about the movie. Todd shares his “lukewarm” take on “Airplane” as the best comedy ever, reflecting on how childhood experiences shape one’s appreciation of humor.
Airplane!’s Cultural Comedy ImpactTed discussed the cultural impact and production background of the 1980 comedy film “Airplane!” He highlighted its rapid-fire humor, with approximately one joke every 30 seconds, and its influence on comedy. Ted explained that the film was directed by Jim Abrams and Jerry and David Zucker, who also wrote it, and it spoofed the 1957 disaster film “Zero Hour.” He noted that the ZAZ partnership, which included Abrams, Zucker, and David Zucker, created “Airplane!” after watching and parodying commercials for “Zero Hour.”
Airplane: Comedy and Cultural ImpactTed discussed the film “Airplane,” highlighting its alignment with the spoof genre and its replication of scenes from the serious film “Zero Hour.” He explained the plot, characters, and comedic elements of “Airplane,” noting its 1970s cultural references and the actors’ initial confusion about their roles due to the film’s comedic approach. Ted emphasized the importance of committed performances and writing in comedy, referencing Amy Poehler’s podcast and the film’s influence on later works like “Hot Shots.”
Airplane!” Humor ReflectionsTed and his friend discussed jokes and scenes from the movie “Airplane!” that went over their heads when they first watched it as children in the 1980s. They reflected on their limited understanding of certain humor and cultural references at the time, noting how the film’s jokes and stereotypes were a product of its era. They also mentioned the movie’s use of background jokes and cameos, highlighting its innovative approach to comedy.
Airplane!’s Comedy Legacy ImpactTed discussed the cultural impact and influence of the movie “Airplane!” on comedy, highlighting its use of deadpan humor, parody, and rapid-fire jokes. He shared interesting facts about the movie’s production, casting, and profitability, as well as its legacy on subsequent films and TV shows. Ted emphasized how “Airplane!” inspired a generation of comedies, including “Naked Gun,” “Top Secret,” “Hot Shots,” and “30 Rock,” by blending absurd humor with serious actors.
Airplane!” Comedy and TriviaTed discussed the film “Airplane!” and its cultural impact, highlighting inappropriate content and the influence of comedy. He shared trivia about the movie, including improvisations, casting choices, and production details. Ted also mentioned a game of “Two Truths and a Lie” and corrected some misconceptions about the film’s production. He concluded by suggesting further research on Matt Damon’s involvement in “30 Rock” and airport-related content.
Controversial Humor in ‘Airplane!Ted and Carol discussed the film “Airplane!” and its controversial content, including sexual and violent scenes, as well as outdated humor. They also criticized the American Film Institute’s ranking of “Airplane!” as one of the funniest movies of all time, questioning the comedic value of some of the other films on the list. They reflected on generational differences in humor preferences and noted that some modern films, like “What About Bob?” were better received by younger audiences than “Airplane!” or “Austin Powers.”
Pop Culture and Retail AnecdotesTed shared his thoughts on various pop culture references, including jokes and quotes from a movie involving a character named George Zipp and a scene with a credit card machine. He also discussed a plot line involving a girl needing a heart transplant and her connection to The Love Boat. Ted mentioned working in retail and his experience with credit card machines, comparing it to a scene in the movie.
Movie Memories and HumorTed and Todd discussed various topics, including smoking on airplanes, the movie Airplane!, and the comedic lines from its cast. They also talked about the movie’s humor and the actor Johnny, who died young. Ted mentioned that he and his parents watched several movies together, some of which were not suitable for children. They also discussed the movie Raiders of the Lost Ark and the command “Shep, sit!” related to a family dog.
Gen X Humor: Inside Jokes ExplainedTed and his friend discussed Gen X humor, which includes sarcasm, deadpan delivery, parody, and irony. They explored how this humor often involves inside jokes and cultural references that require a certain level of understanding. Ted shared examples from TV shows like 30 Rock and The Summer I Turned Pretty, highlighting how callbacks and background gags contribute to this style of humor. They also discussed their shared love for magazines like Mad and Cracked, which influenced their appreciation for this type of humor.
Gen X Parody Film InsightsTed and his companion discussed various parody films, with Airplane! and Naked Gun highlighted as top favorites. They shared insights into Gen X humor, emphasizing its dry, ironic, and discerning nature, often used in parenting to teach children to see absurdity and question authority. They also discussed the influence of the Zucker Brothers and Abrams on comedy and shared personal anecdotes about movies and music, including a missed opportunity to see Steve Miller Band live. The conversation concluded with a review of a short parody film and a plan to continue the discussion next Tuesday.
Jenny Han’s The Summer I Turned Pretty is rooted in Gen X pop culture, taking inspiration from 80s movies to the soundtrack choices that set the mood. In this episode, we connect Belly’s summer at Cousins Beach to the stories that shaped us, from Jane Austen to John Hughes, from Dirty Dancing to Taylor Swift. We’ll talk about the love triangles that defined movies, books, and TV, count down the best song moments ever, and dig into the easter eggs and symbolism that make this show so fun to watch.
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
- Join Team Zen
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
SummaryGen X TV Show AnalysisThe team discussed their upcoming podcast episode about “Gen X Literacy of the Summer,” which will focus on the TV show “PreTTY” and its cultural significance. They plan to explore themes like love triangles, music in storytelling, and Easter eggs, while avoiding spoilers for the series finale. The hosts, including Todd and Kathy, shared personal connections to the show and its characters, emphasizing its relevance for Gen X audiences and as a conversation starter with their children. They aim to provide a deep dive into the show’s cultural references and its impact on popular culture.
The Summer I Turned Pretty” AdaptationThe team discussed the plot and characters of a TV show based on the “The Summer I Turned Pretty” book series. They covered the main storyline involving Belly, her summer romance with the Fisher brothers, and the family dynamics between the Fisher and Conklin families. The team also explored differences between the books and TV show, including age adjustments and character relationships. They concluded by discussing the show’s adult characters and its literary influences, particularly noting its connection to Jane Austen novels.
1980s Influences in ‘The Summer I Turned PrettyThe team discussed the influence of 1980s young adult literature and John Hughes movies on the TV series “The Summer I Turned Pretty.” They noted how the show borrows elements from these sources, such as love triangles and summer-themed narratives, to appeal to audiences who grew up with these stories. Todd shared his own experiences of being too scared to pursue romantic interests during his teenage years, due to fears of rejection and societal pressures. The group also discussed specific scenes in the show that seemed to be inspired by other popular media, like “Titanic” and “Gilmore Girls.”
Movie Makeover Transformations and GrowthThe team discussed various makeover scenes in movies, focusing on characters like Belly, Sandy, and Sabrina, who undergo significant transformations. They explored how these makeovers symbolize personal growth and increased self-awareness for the characters. The group also mentioned influences from classic films like “Sabrina” and “My Fair Lady,” and referenced pop culture moments like Andy’s prom dress in “Pretty in Pink.” The conversation concluded with a brief mention of the TV miniseries “The Thorn Birds,” which was significant to one team member.
The Thornbirds” Color Symbolism AnalysisThe team discussed the TV show “The Thornbirds,” focusing on its themes and character relationships. They explored how the show’s color symbolism, particularly the association of Conrad with red and the ocean, and Jeremiah with blue and the pool, reflects the characters’ personalities and their relationship with the protagonist, Belly. The discussion also touched on the show’s inspiration and how certain character names were chosen.
Pop Culture Love Triangle AnalysisThe team discussed various love triangles in pop culture, including Katniss, Peeta, and Gale from The Hunger Games; Bella, Edward, and Jacob from Twilight; Joey, Pacey, and Dawson from Dawson’s Creek; Andy, Ducky, and Blaine from Pretty in Pink; Carrie, Big, and Aiden; and others like Archie, Betty, Veronica, and Jughead from Archie Comics. They also mentioned Scarlett, Ashley, and Rhett from Gone with the Wind, Elizabeth, Darcy, and Wickham from Pride and Prejudice, and Bridget Jones, Mark Darcy, and Daniel Cleaver from Bridget Jones’s Diary.
Love Triangles in Pop CultureThe team discussed various love triangles in popular culture, comparing them to each other and analyzing their dynamics. They explored how these triangles have evolved over time, from 1980s films to modern TV shows. The conversation then shifted to detailed analysis of symbolism and Easter eggs in the TV show “Cousins for Christmas,” particularly focusing on the relationship between characters Conrad and Belly. They also discussed the background of the show’s writer, Jenny Han, noting her Gen X influence on the storytelling.
Music and Themes in ‘The Summer I Turned PrettyThe team discussed music in the TV show “The Summer I Turned Pretty,” noting its use of Gen X and Taylor Swift songs to set the tone. They shared personal favorite song drops from movies and TV shows, with themes of love, loss, and generational significance. The conversation shifted to parenting lessons from the show, including letting kids grow independently and modeling how to handle change and loss. They also discussed the importance of friendship and complexity in teenage life. The conversation ended with a music game and a reminder about the final episode of the show airing the next day, along with recommendations for related content.
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Cathy and Todd discuss Netflix’s documentary Unknown Number: The High School Catfish and how texts and constant accessibility blur the line between connection and chaos. What started as “stranger danger” in Gen X childhood has become “tech danger” in our kids’ phones—cyberbullying, rumors, and anonymous numbers lighting up at all hours. The documentary shows how quickly trust can unravel and how phones have become symbols of both intimacy and manipulation. The deeper lesson is that parenting through technology requires more than control or surveillance, it demands emotional maturity, boundaries, and the courage to talk honestly about what’s happening behind the screen.
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
- Join Team Zen
- Dark Side of the Moon Advance
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
AI SummaryCatfishing Documentary and Parenting InsightsTodd and Sweetie discussed a new documentary called “Unknown Number: The High School Catfish,” directed by Skye Borgman, which tells the story of Lauren and Owen, a teenage couple from a small town in Michigan who were cyberbullied for 22 months. They highlighted the documentary’s relevance to Gen X parenting and its potential to spark discussions about cell phones, emotional maturity, and parenting. Todd and Sweetie also mentioned Sweetie’s book “Restoring Our Girls” and their involvement with Team Zen, offering a free subscription to their Substack newsletter for team members.
Parenting in the Digital AgeThe discussion centered on a documentary about inappropriate text messages sent to a teenage couple in 2020, highlighting the evolving landscape of anonymous communication and its impact on children. Todd shared insights into the differences between Gen X and current parenting experiences, noting the shift from unsupervised childhood activities to heightened technological concerns. He also discussed the decline in child harm statistics despite persistent “stranger danger” fears and shared anecdotes about prank calls and ding-dong ditching, contrasting these with modern parenting practices and the role of technology in children’s lives.
Tech Evolution and Parenting ConcernsTodd discussed the evolution of communication technologies and their impact on parenting, particularly focusing on the shift from traditional “stranger danger” concerns to modern “tech danger” issues. He traced the development from caller ID and party lines in the 1990s to social media and DMs in the 2010s, noting how smartphones and apps like Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat have changed both children’s experiences and parental concerns about screen time and online safety.
Small Town Dynamics and TechnologyTodd discussed the dynamics of small towns, drawing from his experience growing up in Dekalb, Illinois, and how these dynamics played a role in the documentary. He noted that in wealthier towns, more resources might be directed towards solving issues, and he observed that parents in the town featured in the documentary seemed overinvested in their children’s lives. Todd also shared his memories of early internet technology, including the excitement of getting online and the challenges of using dial-up connections, before transitioning to a discussion about the Blair Witch Project and its impact.
Unraveling Threats: A Young Couple’s StoryThe documentary tells the story of Lauren and Owen, a young couple who were targeted by anonymous text messages in 2020, escalating to 40-50 daily threats and suicidal content. The authorities initially struggled to handle the case, with the sheriff being unhelpful and only involving the FBI after a year. The FBI liaison, Bradley, successfully traced the messages to a Verizon phone number and identified the perpetrator, though the documentary ends before revealing the answer.
Cyberbullying Trauma and MisunderstandingThe group discussed a documentary about a girl named Lauren who was targeted by cyberbullying, with the shocking revelation that her mother, Kendra Licari, was actually the perpetrator. They explored how Lauren’s seemingly calm reaction to the discovery could be explained by dissociation, a trauma response that protects the brain from overwhelming experiences. The discussion also touched on how society often misinterprets the reactions of trauma survivors, particularly women, and the importance of understanding trauma responses when dealing with such cases.
Kendra’s Stalking and Manipulation CaseTodd and his friend discussed the documentary “Rolling in the Deep,” focusing on the case of Kendra, a woman who stalked her daughter Lauren and others while claiming her actions were for their protection. Kendra was arrested in December 2022, pleaded guilty to stalking charges, and served 18 months in prison before being released on parole in August 2024. They explored the complex dynamics of the relationship between Kendra and Lauren, including Kendra’s manipulation and emotional abuse, as well as the potential impact of Kendra’s own traumatic experiences on her behavior.
Understanding Performance and Factitious ParentingTodd discussed three topics related to parenting: performance parenting, parents living through their children, and factitious disorder by proxy (formerly Munchausen syndrome). He explained that performance parenting involves focusing on surface-level actions rather than genuine emotional connections with children, while parents who live through their children have difficulty separating their own lives from their children’s. Todd also described factitious disorder by proxy, using examples from movies and real-life cases, highlighting how some parents fabricate or induce illnesses in their children for attention or control.
Factitious Disorder: Psychological ManipulationTodd discussed factitious disorder, a condition where individuals feign illness or cause harm to others for attention or other motivations. He shared insights from a podcast hosted by Andrea Dunlop, who explores cases of this disorder and its prevalence, noting that mothers are typically the perpetrators while fathers often enable them. Todd highlighted the similarities between the tactics used in factitious disorders and those employed by cult leaders, emphasizing the complex psychological factors at play.
Attention-Seeking Behaviors in ChildrenTodd shared personal anecdotes about attention-seeking behaviors in children and discussed a documentary about factitious disorder by proxy, where a mother used technology to manipulate her daughter. He explained how the documentary highlighted how people, including parents, can become overly involved in their children’s lives and the complex dynamics involved. Todd also mentioned a podcast episode he did about 10 years ago related to conscious parenting and ended the segment with a song about a protective mother.
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Cathy and Todd talk about two 90s political favorites, Dave and The American President, and how they captured Gen X’s wishful politics. From an ordinary guy running the White House with kindness to a widowed president balancing romance and leadership, both films imagined a world where decency could still win in Washington. They explore what these stories meant in the Clinton era, why they still feel good to watch, and how their themes of authenticity, vulnerability, and optimism show up in the way Gen X parents raise their kids today.
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
- Join Team Zen
- Dark Side of the Moon Advance
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
AI Summary
SummaryPodcast Shift and Subscription FocusAndrew and Kathy discussed their upcoming podcast episode focused on the movies “The American President” and “Dave,” exploring Gen X idealism and politics. They emphasized the podcast’s shift from Zen Parenting Radio to focus on topics that excite them, such as boy bands and hair bands, and highlighted their subscription offerings, including a newsletter and women’s circle. Andrew also mentioned his book “Restoring Our Girls” and encouraged listeners to join Team Zen for access to various resources and support groups.
Political Films and Cultural ContextAndrew and his colleague discussed the films Dave and The American President, comparing their casts, settings, and political backdrops. They noted that Dave, released in 1993, reflected a shift in political atmosphere after 12 years of Republican presidents, while The American President, released in 1995, depicted a more partisan and bitter Washington during Clinton’s presidency. They also touched on personal experiences, such as Andrew’s recent visit to Drake University and his research into the 1993 context, including the Waco siege and Michael Jordan’s retirement.
Capra Films: Optimism and NostalgiaAndrew discussed the themes and characteristics of Capra-esque films, comparing them to the movies “Dave” and “The American President.” He explained how these films embody optimism, humor, and faith in humanity, contrasting corruption with decency. Andrew also shared personal anecdotes about renting VHS tapes and the nostalgia associated with the VCR era, including a humorous story about a movie store mix-up.
Comparing Political Themed MoviesAndrew and his companion discussed the movies “Dave” and “The American President,” comparing their themes, genres, and personal preferences. They shared interesting facts about the movies, such as the involvement of Michael J. Fox and Annette Bening, and the use of the Oval Office set in both films. Andrew also mentioned his past habit of watching “The American President” before speaking engagements to stay focused. They briefly touched on the political themes in the movies and the characters’ roles, with Andrew expressing admiration for Annette Bening’s portrayal in “The American President.”
Exploring ‘Dave’ and Political FilmsThe group discussed the film Dave, including its connections to real-life figures and its critical reception. They explored interesting facts about the movie, such as President Clinton’s involvement and the similarities between the film and Aaron Sorkin’s later work, The West Wing. The conversation also touched on other movies set in Washington, D.C., with each participant sharing their favorite films and quotes from Wedding Crashers. The discussion concluded with a brief mention of the film’s rating on Rotten Tomatoes and the group’s enjoyment of certain John Grisham adaptations.
Dave” Movie Analysis and BudgetAndrew discussed the film “Dave,” highlighting its implausible premise and requiring significant suspension of disbelief. He noted the movie’s memorable scenes, including cameos and budget-balancing antics, while questioning the logic of certain plot points. Andrew also shared interesting facts about U.S. deficits, comparing historical figures and explaining the vastness of a trillion dollars in terms of time.
Generational Leadership and Film InsightsAndrew reflected on generational leadership, expressing concern about how Gen X and Baby Boomers have handled issues and suggesting younger generations might be better suited for leadership roles. He discussed the film “The American President,” highlighting its themes on environmental and crime legislation, as well as the movie’s portrayal of authenticity and the importance of genuine character in leadership. Andrew also shared his favorite scenes from the film, emphasizing montages that depict personal growth and political challenges.
Political Idealism and RealismAndrew discussed the importance of ordinary people making a difference and the balance between idealism and compromise in politics. He reflected on how his views on political issues have evolved with age and experience. Andrew emphasized the significance of words in politics and expressed admiration for Aaron Sorkin’s writing, particularly his portrayal of speech-making in “The Newsroom.” He also shared his fondness for Tim Russert’s moderating style and his impact on political discourse.
Generational Language and Political ChoicesAndrew discussed generational language differences, sharing examples of how different generations use words like “dork,” “awesome,” and “lame.” He emphasized that all personal choices are political and highlighted the importance of teaching children to question authority while staying engaged. Andrew also shared quotes from the movie “The American President” to illustrate the impact of leadership and media scrutiny.
Dave Movie Discussion OverviewThe meeting focused on a detailed discussion about the movie “Dave,” including its plot, characters, and trivia. Andrew and others answered questions about the movie, such as Dave’s job before being recruited, his romance with Sydney, and the political controversy surrounding an environmental bill. They also discussed the movie’s themes, such as political satire and the challenges of leadership. The session concluded with a reminder for listeners to email the hosts with ideas for future discussions and a brief mention of a book and subscription service.
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Cathy and Todd look at how groups like Backstreet Boys, *NSYNC, Boyz II Men, and One Direction shaped pop culture and redefined what young men were allowed to sing about. They created space for emotion, love, and vulnerability on stage, but always within a carefully controlled, marketable image. From Lou Pearlman’s factory-style boyband empire to Simon Cowell’s reality TV machine, they explore the rise, the nostalgia, and why boy bands are both cringe and classic at the same time, with Cathy offering deeper reflections from a longtime fan’s perspective.
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
- Join Team Zen
- Dark Side of the Moon Advance
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
AI Summary
Todd and Kathy discussed their upcoming podcast episode on boy bands, which will focus on their cultural impact and personal favorites. They promoted their Zen Pop Parenting podcast and related offerings, including a book, newsletter, and virtual community. Todd shared a personal story about his daughter’s experience with sorority rush at Alabama, and they briefly discussed a documentary on boy bands. They also considered whether to bleep an F-bomb in their podcast and reflected on their evolving perceptions of boy bands.
Evolution of Boy BandsTodd discussed the evolution of boy bands, tracing their history from the 1950s to the 1980s. He highlighted influential bands like the Beatles, Jackson 5, and New Edition, noting how these groups laid the groundwork for later boy bands. Todd also mentioned Menudo and New Kids on the Block, discussing their formation and popularity. He emphasized that boy bands have often been seen as a vehicle for popularity and commercial success, and he reflected on how his own musical tastes have evolved over time.
Boy Band Era NostalgiaTodd and his companion discussed various boy bands, focusing on NKOTB, Boyz II Men, and the Backstreet Boys. They explored the history, members, and impact of these bands, with Todd sharing interesting facts about their origins and the role of Lou Perlman in their formation. They considered creating a podcast dedicated to the Backstreet Boys, given the depth of material. The conversation highlighted the cultural significance of boy bands in the 1990s and their enduring influence.
Boy Band Marketing StrategiesTodd discussed the contrasting approaches of Lou Perlman and Simon Cowell in creating and marketing boy bands. Perlman focused on blending individual talents into cohesive teams, while Cowell emphasized highlighting individual members to appeal to fans. They explored the cultural impact of boy bands, particularly on young girls, and the evolving dynamics between bands like the Backstreet Boys and NSYNC. Todd also touched on the appeal of boy bands for both fans and performers, and the role of marketing in shaping public perception.
Boy Bands and Pop CultureTodd and the other participant discussed various boy bands and their impact on pop culture. They talked about 98 Degrees, One Direction, and the Jonas Brothers, sharing personal experiences and memories. Todd mentioned attending a Backstreet Boys concert and how the band’s music helped her during a difficult time. They also discussed the lyrics and production of popular songs, including “I Want It That Way” by the Backstreet Boys. Todd shared information about Max Martin, a prominent songwriter and producer, and his work with various artists. The conversation concluded with a discussion about Brian Lattrell’s vocal issues and the challenges the Backstreet Boys faced as a result.
Boy Bands: Manufacturing and StrugglesThe discussion focused on the history and dynamics of boy bands, particularly the Backstreet Boys, with Todd sharing insights about their personal struggles and transformations. Todd highlighted how boy bands like the Backstreet Boys were created as manufactured entities to appeal to teenage audiences, while also discussing the challenges faced by band members, including addiction and issues with authenticity. The conversation touched on the cultural impact of boy bands, their role in challenging traditional masculinity norms, and the exploitation faced by child stars. Todd also compared the management and family dynamics of different boy bands, such as the Jackson 5 and the Osmonds, emphasizing the strict discipline and high expectations placed on them by their managers and families.
Boy Band Trivia and TunesTodd and Zane discussed their favorite boy bands and songs, with Todd sharing his top 10 boy bands and Zane providing trivia questions about boy bands. They agreed to end the show with a message about embracing one’s musical preferences without feeling the need to hide them. They closed with the Backstreet Boys song “I Want It That Way.”
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Cathy and Todd explore how 1980s glam metal, later dubbed “hairbands” in the ’90s, fused hypersexual, alpha-male posturing with makeup, teased hair, and flamboyant style, creating a theatrical masculinity that rose with MTV and collapsed with the arrival of grunge. From Def Leppard to Poison, these bands borrowed from femininity while reinforcing traditional masculinity, leading to a theatrical version of toughness built for MTV’s visual era. They discuss the rise, peak, and fall of the genre, its shift from rebellion to redundancy, and how it reflected and reshaped cultural ideas about gender, authenticity, and performance.
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
- Join Team Zen
- Dark Side of the Moon Advance
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
AI Summary
SummaryHair Bands and Gen X CultureTodd and Kathy discussed the evolution of hair bands and their impact on Gen X culture. They clarified the distinction between heavy metal and hair bands, explaining that hair bands emerged in the early 1980s with bands like Quiet Riot and Def Leppard. Todd shared his research findings, including the origins of the term “hair band” and the influence of David Bowie on the genre. They also announced upcoming changes to their virtual community and podcast, including the addition of a Zen Parenting Radio podcast.
Evolution of 1980s Hair MetalTodd discussed the evolution of hair metal bands in the 1980s, highlighting key albums and artists like Van Halen, Motley Crue, Def Leppard, Bon Jovi, and Poison. He noted that Bon Jovi transformed their style after the hair metal era, while bands like Def Leppard and Poison maintained popularity. Todd also argued that Guns N’ Roses, with their deeper musical talent, served as a bridge or catalyst in the transition from hair metal to grunge, though he acknowledged the appeal of lighter, fun songs from the era.
Rock Music Evolution and SubgenresTodd discussed the evolution of rock music, particularly focusing on the transition from 1980s hair bands to different metal subgenres. He explained how bands like Van Halen and Whitesnake evolved their sound to become more mainstream, while other bands like Metallica and Slayer embraced thrash metal. Todd also shared his own categorization of rock music, distinguishing between heavy metal, hair band glam metal, and hard rock. The conversation touched on how different musical styles reflect societal changes and performative masculinity.
Gender-Bending in Music HistoryTodd and his partner discussed the evolution of masculinity in music, particularly focusing on the 1980s hair metal era and its subsequent shift to grunge in the early 1990s. They explored how bands like Van Halen and Motley Crue embraced exaggerated masculinity while incorporating feminine elements like makeup. Todd then highlighted ten notable gender-bending artists throughout history, including Harry Styles, Janelle Monae, Lady Gaga, Marilyn Manson, Annie Lennox, Freddie Mercury, Boy George, Grace Jones, Prince, and David Bowie. They discussed how these artists challenged traditional gender norms through their fashion, presentation, and music.
Rock Music Influences and ExperiencesTodd and Sweetie shared personal stories about their musical influences and experiences, particularly focusing on their introduction to rock music in the 1980s. Todd recalled his love for Van Halen in fifth grade, while Sweetie shared her early exposure to alternative music through her sister and brother-in-law. They discussed how different people and experiences shaped their musical tastes over time, with Todd highlighting significant moments like listening to “Round and Round” in seventh grade and his unsuccessful attempt to attend a Def Leppard concert in high school. The conversation concluded with Todd recounting how he finally saw Def Leppard perform at a concert in Tinley Park with his roommates, despite initially being unable to attend due to his parents’ restrictions.
Power Ballad Discussion and DebateTodd and Sweetie discussed their favorite power ballads, with Todd sharing his top 10 list that included songs by bands like Motley Crue, Def Leppard, and Tesla. They debated the merits of various songs and bands, with Todd defending his choices based on personal connections and musical qualities. The conversation concluded with a brief mention of moving on to random facts and “WTF” topics.
1980s Hair Metal Band AnalysisTodd shared random facts about 1980s hair metal bands, including tragic deaths and bizarre incidents, before transitioning to a discussion about the cultural impact of hair bands and their paradoxical representation of masculinity. Todd emphasized how these bands, while appearing to subvert gender norms, ultimately reinforced heteronormative ideals. The conversation concluded with Todd reflecting on the importance of avoiding trendy parenting labels, instead opting for “Zen parenting” as an undefined and adaptable approach.
Evolution of 80s Hair MetalTodd shared his love for 1980s hair metal bands and discussed how the music scene evolved from the glam rock of the 1980s to the grunge movement of the 1990s. He highlighted the authenticity and raw emotion of grunge bands, contrasting it with the perceived superficiality of 1980s hair bands. Todd also shared his top 10 favorite hair metal songs, emphasizing the enduring appeal and nostalgia of the genre. The discussion concluded with a brief mention of upcoming topics for the next meeting, including performative masculinity and boy bands.
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Cathy and Todd discuss 9 to 5 and Working Girl, two movies Gen X women grew up on that shaped how we think about work, power, and what it means to succeed. We watched women push through, keep their heads down, and prove themselves in systems that were never really made for them, and we learned to do the same. We’ve told our daughters they can be anything, but we also passed down burnout, perfectionism, and the pressure to keep it all together. Now girls are asking, “Why are we working so hard for something that doesn’t even work for us?” This episode is about what these films gave us, what they left out, and how we’re rethinking success, feminism, and parenting the next generation.
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
- Join Team Zen
- Dark Side of the Moon Advance
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
AI Summary
SummaryPodcast Planning and Technical UpdatesTodd and Kathy discussed technical issues related to Wi-Fi and recording devices, noting improvements in connectivity. They also talked about editing a podcast, considering the duration of opening segments and transitions between songs. Todd mentioned his leg pain and a humorous incident involving an ice pack. They prepared to record a new episode of “Zen Pop Parenting,” with Todd introducing the segment.
Gen X Feminism in 1980s FilmsTodd and his co-host discussed the cultural impact of two iconic 1980s films, “9 to 5” and “Working Girl,” exploring how they reflected and shaped Gen X feminism. They highlighted the films’ portrayal of workplace inequality, the pressure to “have it all,” and the contrast between systemic change and individual ambition. Todd shared personal anecdotes about watching these movies with his daughters and reflecting on their messages in the context of his own life and the 2016 election. The discussion also touched on the broader cultural landscape of the 1980s, including music and fashion, and how these elements contributed to the era’s feminist energy.
1991 Hearing’s Impact on CultureTodd discussed the Anita Hill-Clarence Thomas Supreme Court nomination hearing in 1991, highlighting its impact on workplace harassment awareness and the “Year of the Woman” election in 1992. He noted that while Clarence Thomas was ultimately confirmed, the hearing sparked national conversations about gender, race, and power in the workplace, with parallels to more recent events involving Christine Blasey Ford and Brett Kavanaugh. Todd also mentioned how the cultural shift influenced TV and film, citing shows like “Murphy Brown” and movies like “9 to 5” and “Thelma & Louise” as examples of changing portrayals of women in the workplace.
Women’s Strength in FilmTodd discussed the themes of strength and resilience in women, using examples from movies like Steel Magnolias and Working Girl. He shared interesting facts about the filming of Working Girl, including Melanie Griffith’s addiction issues and Mike Nichols’ directorial approach. Todd also highlighted Carly Simon’s achievements and the success of 9 to 5, noting its cultural impact and Dolly Parton’s role in its creation.
Working Girl” Character AnalysisTodd discussed the film “Working Girl,” focusing on Melanie Griffith’s transformation from a sex symbol to a leading actress and the movie’s plot twists. He highlighted the unexpected proposal scene and criticized the character development, particularly the rapid progression from an affair to a marriage proposal. Todd also compared “Working Girl” to other films with similar plot elements, such as “The Deer Hunter” and “9 to 5,” and expressed a desire to watch it as a double feature with “9 to 5.”
Fantasies of Workplace RevengeTodd discussed the movie “9 to 5” and its plot, which revolves around three female office workers who fantasize about killing their boss. He shared details about the characters’ fantasies, including Judy’s desire to hunt down her boss, Dora Lee’s plan to give him a taste of his own medicine, and Violet’s Snow White-inspired plot to poison his coffee. Todd expressed his fondness for the movie despite its slow pace and over-the-top plot, noting that it served as a fantasy for women facing workplace oppression. He also briefly mentioned Melanie Griffith’s marital history and her daughter, Dakota Johnson, who followed in her mother’s footsteps in the entertainment industry.
1980s Feminism in FilmTodd discussed the themes of 1980s and 1990s movies, particularly focusing on “Working Girl” and “9 to 5,” which often celebrated individual women’s success within a system that harms women, rather than addressing systemic inequality. He explained how these films portrayed personal victories within unchanged systems, contributing to a mentality that there can only be one woman at the top. Todd also shared his favorite scenes from both movies, highlighting humorous and dramatic moments, and discussed the concept of “neoliberal feminism” in the context of these films.
Generational Feminism and Communication DynamicsTodd discussed the plot of a movie involving a character named Catherine who stole an idea from someone else and later shared it at a wedding. He also explained the different waves of feminism, particularly focusing on Generation X’s experience in the 1980s, which was about balancing career and family while navigating office politics and sexual harassment. Todd highlighted how women have historically learned to speak in a way that men can understand, a concept illustrated by a quote from Meryl Streep, while noting that men often struggle to communicate effectively with women.
Cultural Pressures on Women in WorkTodd discussed the cultural pressure on women to be smaller and less assertive in the workplace, tracing this back to the 1980s and examining its impact on personal and professional identity. He highlighted how feminism was often framed as a personal strategy rather than a collective movement, using examples from films like “Working Girl” and “9 to 5” to illustrate this point. Todd also connected this concept to multi-level marketing schemes, noting that 99% of participants either lose money or make nothing, and emphasized the importance of understanding these schemes as a form of exploitation rather than legitimate business opportunities.
MLM Exploitation and Gender EqualityTodd discussed the targeting of women by multi-level marketing (MLM) schemes, highlighting how they exploit women with limited options, such as stay-at-home mothers, by promising independence and financial freedom that is rarely achieved. Todd emphasized the importance of teaching girls about systemic inequalities and preparing them to navigate these challenges, while also encouraging sons to understand consent and respect for women. The conversation also touched on the double standards faced by women, including the expectation to be both powerful and palatable, and the need for a new model of masculinity that supports gender equality.
Empowering Women’s AmbitionTodd discussed the importance of ambition for women, referencing Reese Witherspoon’s 2015 speech at the Glamour Women of the Year Awards. He highlighted how ambition is often misunderstood and undervalued for women, contrasting it with the portrayal in movies like “9 to 5” and “Working Girl.” Todd emphasized that ambition should be seen as a positive force, not just for personal success but for creating a better world, and shared his own evolving understanding of ambition as he has aged. He encouraged parents to teach their daughters that ambition is not selfish but can be generous and collaborative, citing examples of women helping each other, like the WNBA team he mentioned.
Analyzing Feminism in 80s FilmsThe group discussed the movies “Working Girl” and “9 to 5,” analyzing themes of feminism, racial diversity, and body representation. They shared favorite quotes from the films, including memorable lines from Dolly Parton and Harrison Ford. The participants played a music game related to the movies and discussed movie trivia. They concluded the podcast by playing the instrumental theme from “Working Girl” as their closing music.
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Our daughters Jacey, Camryn, and Skylar join us as we explore the themes behind The Hunger Games books and movies and what they say about power, survival, and the cost of being human in an inhumane system. We talk about the Capitol’s need for control, how hope threatens oppression, and what happens when kids are forced to grow up too soon. Plus, we connect it all to parenting—what it means to show up and why sibling bonds matter when systems fail.
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Order Restoring our Girls
- Join Team Zen
- Dark Side of the Moon Advance
Links shared in this episode:
For the full show notes, visit zenpopparenting.com.
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- David Serrano- Certified Financial Planner- 815-370-3780
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
| | |
Todd and Cathy share the upcoming changes to their podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, which will be renamed Zen POP Parenting starting June 1st! They also discuss the normal shifts in kids’ friendships, highlighting the importance of loyalty, boundaries, and the reality that friendships evolve. As parents, we can feel more overwhelmed than our kids when these changes happen, but it’s important to normalize the ups and downs of friendships and offer support without letting our own fear or discomfort take over.
Todd and Cathy share the upcoming changes to their podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, which will be renamed Zen POP Parenting starting June 1st! They also discuss the normal shifts in kids’ friendships, highlighting the importance of loyalty, boundaries, and the reality that friendships evolve. As parents, we can feel more overwhelmed than our kids when these changes happen, but it’s important to normalize the ups and downs of friendships and offer support without letting our own fear or discomfort take over.
Todd and Cathy share the upcoming changes to their podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, which will be renamed Zen POP Parenting starting June 1st! They also discuss the normal shifts in kids’ friendships, highlighting the importance of loyalty, boundaries, and the reality that friendships evolve. As parents, we can feel more overwhelmed than our kids when these changes happen, but it’s important to normalize the ups and downs of friendships and offer support without letting our own fear or discomfort take over.
Todd and Cathy share the upcoming changes to their podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, which will be renamed Zen POP Parenting starting June 1st! They also discuss the normal shifts in kids’ friendships, highlighting the importance of loyalty, boundaries, and the reality that friendships evolve. As parents, we can feel more overwhelmed than our kids when these changes happen, but it’s important to normalize the ups and downs of friendships and offer support without letting our own fear or discomfort take over.
Todd and Cathy share the upcoming changes to their podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, which will be renamed Zen POP Parenting starting June 1st! They also discuss the normal shifts in kids’ friendships, highlighting the importance of loyalty, boundaries, and the reality that friendships evolve. As parents, we can feel more overwhelmed than our kids when these changes happen, but it’s important to normalize the ups and downs of friendships and offer support without letting our own fear or discomfort take over.
Todd and Cathy share the upcoming changes to their podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, which will be renamed Zen POP Parenting starting June 1st! They also discuss the normal shifts in kids’ friendships, highlighting the importance of loyalty, boundaries, and the reality that friendships evolve. As parents, we can feel more overwhelmed than our kids when these changes happen, but it’s important to normalize the ups and downs of friendships and offer support without letting our own fear or discomfort take over.
Todd and Cathy share the upcoming changes to their podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, which will be renamed Zen POP Parenting starting June 1st! They also discuss the normal shifts in kids’ friendships, highlighting the importance of loyalty, boundaries, and the reality that friendships evolve. As parents, we can feel more overwhelmed than our kids when these changes happen, but it’s important to normalize the ups and downs of friendships and offer support without letting our own fear or discomfort take over.
Todd and Cathy share the upcoming changes to their podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, which will be renamed Zen POP Parenting starting June 1st! They also discuss the normal shifts in kids’ friendships, highlighting the importance of loyalty, boundaries, and the reality that friendships evolve. As parents, we can feel more overwhelmed than our kids when these changes happen, but it’s important to normalize the ups and downs of friendships and offer support without letting our own fear or discomfort take over.
Todd and Cathy share the upcoming changes to their podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, which will be renamed Zen POP Parenting starting June 1st! They also discuss the normal shifts in kids’ friendships, highlighting the importance of loyalty, boundaries, and the reality that friendships evolve. As parents, we can feel more overwhelmed than our kids when these changes happen, but it’s important to normalize the ups and downs of friendships and offer support without letting our own fear or discomfort take over.
Todd and Cathy share the upcoming changes to their podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, which will be renamed Zen POP Parenting starting June 1st! Cathy and Todd share the story behind Zen Parenting Radio’s evolution into Zen Pop Parenting—a podcast where mindful living, emotional awareness, and Gen X pop culture come together. From the music, movies, and moments that shaped them to the real-life experiences of parenting kids (young or grown), they explore how connection and communication help people better understand themselves and each other.
Todd and Cathy share the upcoming changes to their podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, which will be renamed Zen POP Parenting starting June 1st! Cathy and Todd discuss what brings you both peace and fire and why your somatic experience (what you feel in your body) is a more authentic guide than overthinking. They unpack what the word miracle really means, challenge narrow ideas of productivity, and share a single word that can help you enjoy life instead of staying stuck.
Todd and Cathy share the upcoming changes to their podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, which will be renamed Zen POP Parenting starting June 1st! Empathy drives connection, but some claim it’s dangerous because it disrupts the status quo they want to maintain. We explore why empathy is being framed as a flaw, and how history, research, and pop culture remind us that caring about others isn’t weakness—it’s what keeps us human. Plus, a deep dive into the greatest villains and protagonists in film and what they teach us about staying grounded in what we know to be true.
Todd and Cathy share the upcoming changes to their podcast, Zen Parenting Radio, which will be renamed Zen POP Parenting starting June 1st! They also discuss the normal shifts in kids’ friendships, highlighting the importance of loyalty, boundaries, and the reality that friendships evolve. As parents, we can feel more overwhelmed than our kids when these changes happen, but it’s important to normalize the ups and downs of friendships and offer support without letting our own fear or discomfort take over.
We dig into the gender differences in why we show up the way we do, how we’re conditioned, why women so often carry the weight of everyone’s well-being, and why emotional presence is still seen as optional for a lot of men. We talk about why these conversations are essential in our own homes, and what sometimes keeps us from having them. We also explore how all of this shows up not just in families and relationships, but in leadership, corporate culture, and the bigger cultural conversation around change and staying connected.
We talk about our oddly soothing obsession with rug-cleaning and lawn care TikToks—and what they reveal about care, restoration, and using your energy to make things better. We also get into the difference between seeking positive vs. negative attention, and why people sometimes act out when what they really want is to be seen and to belong. From ASMR satisfaction to deeper reflections on generosity vs. harm, we discuss showing up with intention and leaving things better than we found them.
Cathy and Todd talk about the collective anxiety so many of us are carrying right now, whether it’s our daily responsibilities or the heaviness of what we’re witnessing on a national or global scale. They discuss Cathy’s three personal guideposts—integrity, humility, and compassion—how these words help her navigate parenting, conflict, relationships, and the uncertainty of this moment, along with the pop culture icons that represent each one. They also take time to talk about the male loneliness epidemic: why it matters, how it’s showing up in culture, and what it means for connection, emotional health, and community.
Cathy and Todd talk about the double standard of managing other people’s emotions—how it’s both expected and criticized—and why this kind of emotional regulation is often misunderstood and overlooked. They also discuss menopause and why emotions can shift or intensify, and how learning what’s really going on can help the whole family better understand and respond, rather than dismissing what can be a really difficult time. Plus, they talk about The White Lotus, Yellowjackets, and talk about their upcoming conversation on navigating friendships—with our kids and within ourselves—on Wednesday, April 9th at Deerfield High School.
Todd and Cathy discuss a recent episode of survivor, Cathy’s frustration at Todd’s double parking, as well as humility, masculinity, responsibility, and emotional support in relationships.
Todd and Cathy discussed the importance of raising kids who enjoy learning, emphasizing the need for a play-based learning environment and the importance of not overburdening children with academic tasks too early. They also highlighted the challenges faced by educators, including pressure from parents and curriculum requirements, and advocated for more creative and diverse teaching methods. The conversation also focused on parenting strategies, the role of teachers, and the need for parents to manage their children's schoolwork, with a particular emphasis on understanding and supporting children's identities and interests.
Todd and Cathy discussed their personal experiences and a Netflix miniseries called "Adolescence,", focusing on issues such as gender dynamics, male rage, and online influences on young men. They explored the manosphere, its impact on society, and the importance of addressing digital sexism and male supremacy, while also examining family dynamics and communication styles between genders. They emphasized the need for understanding and addressing the experiences of boys and young men, encouraging open conversations about online content and emotions, and promoting positive relationships between genders.
Todd and Cathy shared strategies for staying informed without burning out from the world, and the need for personal well-being for continued engagement and making a difference.
We discuss Women's History Month, emphasizing the importance of understanding women's experiences and challenges in society. They explore various aspects of women's safety, cultural norms, and the need for men to engage with and support women's issues. We also highlight the significance of nurturing relationships, adaptability, and women's role in holding memories and creating change, while encouraging men to be curious and empathetic towards women's experiences.
Todd and Cathy discussed the importance of critical thinking, the avoidance of thought terminating cliches, and the need for clear roles and expectations within their team. They also expressed concerns about the current state of the administration and its impact on society, and highlighted the importance of adapting to changing cultural norms and supporting children's spiritedness. Lastly, they emphasized the need for open and honest conversations, and encouraged others to join Team Zen and support children's feelings of unfairness.
Todd and Cathy talk with Cara Natterson MD and Vanessa Kroll Bennett, authors of This Is So Awkward, Modern Puberty Explained. We share experiences and motivations for focusing on puberty and sex education. They also discussed the differences between traditional and progressive education systems, the influence of pornography on societal attitudes towards body hair, and the challenges parents face in navigating conversations about puberty and sexuality with their children. The group agreed on the importance of open communication, maintaining physical affection, and promoting bodily autonomy and agency in these conversations.
Todd and Cathy reminisced about the evolution of telephones and shared their experiences with prank calls and shared phone lines. They also discussed the importance of open-mindedness, empathy, and understanding in human interactions, emphasizing the need to trust oneself and not rely solely on personal experiences or opinions. The conversation concluded with a reflection on the passage of time and the changing dynamics of family relationships.
Todd and Cathy discussed the concept of "flooding the zone" in family dynamics and personal peace of mind, emphasizing the importance of critical thinking, discernment, and effective communication. They explored various strategies to manage the effects of flooding the zone, including being clear about core values, prioritizing and filtering information, and engaging with discernment. The discussion also touched on the importance of emotional regulation, resilience, and setting boundaries in parenting, as well as the role of physical touch and respect for children's boundaries.
Todd and Cathy discussed highlights from their recent Zen Parenting Conference, including various topics such as generational slang, societal challenges for boys and girls, and the importance of open communication with children. They reflected on the conference's success, emphasizing the interactive nature of the event, the impact of guest speakers, and the significance of human connections. Todd also shared personal experiences and insights from the conference, expressing gratitude towards family, friends, and supporters while acknowledging the need for continued growth and adaptation in their initiatives.
Todd and Cathy discussed the importance of optimism, perseverance, and emotional intelligence in personal and professional development, using examples from their experiences and current events. They also highlighted the impact of independent filmmakers and digital platforms on the entertainment industry, and expressed optimism about the growing understanding and research on menopause and women's health. Lastly, they emphasized the need for expanding one's awareness and perspective, and the importance of self-compassion and nurturing relationships in personal growth.
Todd and Cathy discuss Mel Robbins book “Let Them”, the importance of nuance in self-help concepts. They also touched on the importance of trust and communication in relationships, and the concept of "letting go" in personal relationships. Lastly, they shared their thoughts on various TV shows and movies, and emphasized the importance of self-awareness and emotional expression in relationships.
Todd and Cathy discussed Cathy's most recent Substack which were 10 quotes that impacted Cathy. The conversation covered a range of subjects including the balance between joy and sadness, the value of kindness and compassion, and the significance of critical thinking and role modeling in conversations.
Todd and Cathy discussed various TV shows, movies, and practices to improve mental and emotional well-being, including gratitude lists, morning pages, and yogic adjustments. They also emphasized the importance of prioritization, effective task management, and creating playlists for personal enjoyment and staying connected with others. Lastly, they touched on the concept of meditation, the importance of initiating conversations with daughters, and the need for nonjudgmental and engaging interactions.
Todd and Cathy discussed the movie "Elf," covering its production, casting, and memorable scenes. They explored the film's themes, characters, and cultural significance, while also playing a trivia game and sharing personal reflections on the Christmas spirit.
Todd & Cathy discussed the release of Cathy’s book "Restoring Our Girls," which focuses on challenges faced by teenage girls. Todd shared insights on making P, B, & J's, parenting, particularly maintaining connections with his daughters as they mature and become more independent.
Cathy & Todd discussed the release of Cathy's fifth book, the importance of allowing oneself and one's children to express their true selves, and the challenges of parenting. They also shared personal stories about their daughters and the reasons behind children unloading their emotions at night. Lastly, they emphasized the importance of emotional release, creative problem-solving, and maintaining stability for children.
This week’s podcast features a chat with three high school seniors from Hinsdale Central, just outside of Chicago. Zara, Rami, and Molly have started Chase Light, a group focused on breaking down the stigma around mental health and offering support to their peers.
Cathy & Todd discussed the concept of Spiral Dynamics, a theory about human evolution and societal development, and its application in parenting and relationships. They emphasized the importance of balance, flexibility, and empathy in understanding different stages of development and maintaining a strong value system. They also touched on the interconnectedness of values and the need for critical thinking.
Todd and Cathy emphasized the importance of understanding and connecting with daughters, using Cathy's upcoming book on parenting girls as a guide. They shared personal experiences and strategies for maintaining strong relationships with children, highlighting the need for physical presence, understanding, and adapting communication styles. They also stressed the importance of respecting individual needs and preferences, and encouraged the use of humor and creativity in communication, while also promoting community and optimistic perspectives.
Todd and Cathy bring calm in the context of an upcoming election. They discussed the importance of self-compassion, its three components, and the concept of mindfulness, emphasizing that self-compassion is not about letting oneself off the hook, but rather about treating oneself with kindness and understanding.
Todd and Cathy discuss cell phone use in schools, and the challenges of navigating through difficult situations such as elderly care and relationship dynamics. They also highlighted the importance of effective communication, teamwork, and self-care in dealing with such situations. Lastly, they discussed the top 10 common obstacles families face when dealing with aging parents.
Todd and Cathy discuss cell phone use in schools, and the challenges of navigating through difficult situations such as elderly care and relationship dynamics. They also highlighted the importance of effective communication, teamwork, and self-care in dealing with such situations. Lastly, they discussed the top 10 common obstacles families face when dealing with aging parents.
Todd and Cathy discuss cell phone use in schools, and the challenges of navigating through difficult situations such as elderly care and relationship dynamics. They also highlighted the importance of effective communication, teamwork, and self-care in dealing with such situations. Lastly, they discussed the top 10 common obstacles families face when dealing with aging parents.
Todd and Cathy discuss cell phone use in schools, and the challenges of navigating through difficult situations such as elderly care and relationship dynamics. They also highlighted the importance of effective communication, teamwork, and self-care in dealing with such situations. Lastly, they discussed the top 10 common obstacles families face when dealing with aging parents.
We discuss the importance of self-understanding, real conversations with children, and the impact of labels on their development. Discussions also focused on mental well-being, resilience, and personal growth in children, emphasizing the need to allow them to explore their own interests and make decisions.
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Attend ZenCon 25
- Pre-order Restoring our Girls
- Join Team Zen
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
Time Stamps
(00:01:45) Critical thinking and investigating dis-information
(00:14:47) “Know Me”- The Danger of Labels
(00:52:57) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
(00:53:04) Join Team Zen
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Dr. John Duffy joins us as we take questions from Team Zen regarding teens experimenting with drugs and alcohol, lack of motivation, screen time, time management, and challenges with youth sports coaches.
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Some Ways to Support Us
-
- Attend ZenCon 25
- Pre-order Restoring our Girls
- Join Team Zen
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
Time Stamps
(00:00:00) ZenCon25 Announcement
(00:12:00) 16 year old son experimenting with drugs/alcohol
(00:25:07) 20 year old son stuck and unmotivated
(00:34:23) ZenCon 25, Restoring Our Girls, Team Zen
(00:39:40) 17 year old daughter struggling with screentime and time management
(00:51:35) 14 year old son challenges with his baseball coach
(01:10:04) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Todd and Cathy discuss the paradox of feedback as well as the 8 C’s of IFS (Internal Family Systems)
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
Join Team Zen
Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:03:46) Movie “feedback references”
(00:06:38) Sign up for Cathy’s Substack– Feedback
(00:13:06) The basic premise of IFS
(00:19:40) ) Join Team Zen
(00:20:35) The 8’C
(00:39:22) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
3 Ways to Support Us
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Todd and Cathy discuss cell phone use in schools, and the challenges of navigating through difficult situations such as elderly care and relationship dynamics. They also highlighted the importance of effective communication, teamwork, and self-care in dealing with such situations. Lastly, they discussed the top 10 common obstacles families face when dealing with aging parents.
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
Join Team Zen
Want a more intimate relationship? Why “Noticing” is Essential for Understanding and Intimacy in Your Relationship.
Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:05:15) Cell phones in schools
(00:12:32) You, me and we
(00:27:32) Join Team Zen
(00:33:17) Top 10 common obstacles families face when dealing with aging parents
(00:47:49) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Here are 10 common obstacles families face when dealing with aging parents:
- Communication Challenges: Aging parents may struggle to communicate their needs, either due to cognitive decline, pride, or fear of burdening their children. Similarly, adult children may find it difficult to navigate sensitive conversations about care and long-term planning.
- Role Reversal: Children taking on caregiving responsibilities can create tension, especially when aging parents resist acknowledging the shift in roles, leading to frustration or conflict.
- Financial Strain: The cost of healthcare, assisted living, or home care can create financial pressure on families. Sorting out financial responsibilities between siblings and parents adds another layer of complexity.
- Healthcare Decisions: Families often face tough decisions about medical treatments, palliative care, or end-of-life wishes. These can be emotionally draining, especially when family members disagree on the best course of action.
- Emotional Stress: Caring for an aging parent can lead to burnout, depression, or guilt, especially if one family member is the primary caregiver. The emotional toll can affect relationships with siblings, partners, and even the aging parent.
- Cognitive Decline: Conditions like dementia or Alzheimer’s can make caregiving more challenging, as family members navigate memory loss, confusion, and changes in personality or behavior.
- Living Arrangements: Deciding whether parents should age in place, move in with a family member, or transition to assisted living can be difficult. Families may struggle to find a solution that respects the parent’s wishes while ensuring their safety.
- Sibling Disagreements: Family members often have different opinions on how to care for aging parents, which can cause conflict. This can be exacerbated if responsibilities are not evenly shared or if old family dynamics resurface.
- Legal and Ethical Considerations: Managing power of attorney, wills, and healthcare directives can become complicated, especially if these documents are outdated or incomplete. Ethical concerns about autonomy and consent also come into play with aging parents.
- Time Constraints: Many adult children are juggling their own families, careers, and responsibilities, which can make it difficult to devote the necessary time and attention to caregiving. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy or resentment.
3 Ways to Support Us
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Todd and Cathy discussed the importance of self-understanding, open communication, and healthy boundaries in parenting and relationships. They also highlighted the value of shared experiences, respect, and emotional regulation in building strong relationships. Additionally, they touched on the appeal of various forms of media and the need for ongoing conversations about family history and challenges.
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
Join Team Zen
Want a more intimate relationship? Why “Noticing” is Essential for Understanding and Intimacy in Your Relationship.
Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:02:35) Yes, Boys Can
(00:09:40) Family secrets ZPR Moment Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
(00:19:50) 7 Things- Boundaries
(00:27:57) Friends
(00:29:58) Dark times
(00:33:36) Be themselves
(00:40:44) Difficult conversations
(00:43:43) They fought
(00:49:46) Make light of each other’s quirks
(00:53:25) Join Team Zen
(00:53:36) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
3 Ways to Support Us
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Todd and Cathy discuss the concept of milestones in parenting, emphasizing the importance of allowing children to develop at their own pace and encouraging them to step out of their comfort zones. They shared personal anecdotes about their own children’s developmental differences and their experiences with spiders, cicadas, and flies. They also highlighted the challenges and milestones of parenting, including the transition of children into school and beyond, and the need for parents to provide support and connection in the face of various pressures.
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
Join Team Zen
Want a more intimate relationship? Why “Noticing” is Essential for Understanding and Intimacy in Your Relationship.
Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:04:37) Critters
(00:13:55) Navigating Milestones
(00:16:45) Pirates of the Caribbean
(00:19:00) Trust your gut
(00:22:37) Join Team Zen
(01:02:00) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
3 Ways to Support Us
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Todd and Cathy discussed various topics including his dislike for the first day of school, the importance of focusing on the present, and the concept of projection as a defense mechanism. They also explored the idea of entitlement, the need for self-awareness, and the dangers of using therapy as a tool to control others. Lastly, they emphasized the importance of mindfulness in managing emotions and relationships, and the need to approach parenting with an awareness of one’s own projections.
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
Join Team Zen
Want a more intimate relationship? Why “Noticing” is Essential for Understanding and Intimacy in Your Relationship.
Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:00:43) Phil Donahue RIP
(00:02:10) Saxophone talk
(00:06:45) Back to School ZPR Moment- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
(00:13:50) What is projection
(00:26:14) Join Team Zen
(00:29:54) Jeff Foster’s take
(00:47:12) Projecting in parenting
(00:51:30) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
3 Ways to Support Us
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Cathy and Todd discuss the new language around healthy masculinity, inspired by Vice Presidential nominee Tim Walz, and they explore how men can embrace traditional masculine traits while also valuing and expressing compassion and kindness. They talk about the small happy things—those small, happy moments that not only boost our mood but also improve our overall perspective. They also discuss strategies for supporting men, women, boys and girls when it comes to mental wellness, emphasizing the importance of a balanced approach.
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
Join Team Zen
Want a more intimate relationship? Why “Noticing” is Essential for Understanding and Intimacy in Your Relationship.
Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:03:50) Phones in schools
(00:02:08) Sign up for Cathy’s Substack– Our Girls Want to Feel Inspired
(00:19:04) Small happy things
(00:30:37) Join Team Zen
(00:32:36) What is “tonic masculinity”?
(00:51:42) Our parts and the role of self-awareness **
(00:57:58) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
3 Ways to Support Us
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Cathy and Todd talk about anxiety and why it’s a completely normal part of life. They explain how anxiety isn’t just a response to stress but a built-in part of our survival system. Using the movie Inside Out 2, they show how anxiety, like the other emotions in the film, helps us navigate uncertainty and stay safe. They also offer practical tips for managing anxiety and discuss how accepting and understanding it can lead to greater adaptability and resilience.
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
Join Team Zen
Male Menopause: The Three Obstacles Midlife Men Face and How to Overcome Them
Want a more intimate relationship? Why “Noticing” is Essential for Understanding and Intimacy in Your Relationship.
Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:10:52) Acknowledging Anxiety- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
(00:13:30) Body intelligence & anxiety **
(00:20:09) The second arrow
(00:27:27) Join Team Zen
(00:28:22) Ways to help our kids regulate
(00:49:09) Anxiety can be a messenger
(00:59:03) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
3 Ways to Support Us
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Cathy and Todd discuss life trajectories, emphasizing that success isn’t confined to a single right path, way, class, major, or job. They highlight the importance of children trusting their instincts and their own knowledge as they go through life. They also explore how resilience and adaptability are developed through every setback, and how we can help our children feel supported and trusted as they navigate their experiences.
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
It’s OK | Hyundai
Join Team Zen
Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:05:44) Life trajectories
(00:13:25) You will see how the pieces fit together
(00:16:30) Hyundai commercial
(00:19:48) Good challenge vs bad challenge **
(00:21:02) Whiplash **
(00:26:09)Join Team Zen
(00:26:30) Take care of your own business
(00:30:05) What ZPR is all about **
(00:35:40) Make home safe
(00:37:50) Life trajectories part 2
(00:52:37) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft fromAvid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
3 Ways to Support Us
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Cathy and Todd discuss cognitive labor, which is the mental effort and worry of anticipating needs, considering options, making decisions, and tracking progress in the home and with kids. They explore how it’s connected to emotional and invisible labor and stress the importance of ongoing discussions to reduce resentment and ensure everyone feels seen and understood.
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
Other Emotional Labor Podcasts
- Women Aren’t Nags, We’re Fed Up- Podcast #495
- Real-Time Emotional Labor- Podcast #440
- Emotional Labor is an Unpaid Job- Podcast #405
Join Team Zen
Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:10:48) What can I do to help?
(00:21:03) Being responsible for other people’s happiness
(00:26:30) Join Team Zen
(00:31:29) The lies told to boys and men **
(00:32:24) Why Todd doesn’t do it **
(00:53:39) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
3 Ways to Support Us
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Todd and Cathy emphasize the importance of being present, thinking critically, and doing in parenting, and discussed the concept of human archetypes and the need to focus on the present moment. They also shared personal anecdotes about balancing ‘being’, ‘doing’, and ‘thinking’, and discussed the challenges of societal expectations and the importance of living authentically. Lastly, they addressed underlying issues in relationships, the importance of taking action, and the need to process emotions healthily.
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
Join Team Zen
Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:00:28) Sign up for Cathy’s Substack– Being, thinking, and doing
(00:06:22) Todd’s “Be, Think, Do Balance”
(00:14:58) Todd’s “Be’er” shows up
(00:27:22) Cathy’s “Be, Think, Do Balance”
(00:57:32) The spiritual bypass **
(00:59:41) Comparing pain
(01:00:55) We are a hedonistic society that believes we should be suffering.
(01:02:04) Join Team Zen
(01:02:35) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
3 Ways to Support Us
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Cathy & Todd discuss why our kids feel pressure to conform, focusing on when it’s developmentally appropriate and when it may be cause for concern. They also discuss how adults feel the same pressure to conform, emphasizing why relating to our kids, rather than judging them, is more impactful for their learning and for maintaining our connection.
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
Join Team Zen
Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:00:36) Join Team Zen
(00:04:59) Sign up for Cathy’s Substack– The pressure to conform
(00:20:18) Taking care of ourselves
(00:21:25) Spanx and Skims **
(00:33:58) Flair
(00:43:45) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
3 Ways to Support Us
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
Join Team Zen
Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:08:24) Setting an infrastructure for difficult conversations
(00:18:47) Talking ourselves out of having difficult conversations
(00:14:05) Difficult Conversations Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
(00:29:33) Join Team Zen
(00:38:35) Finding the balance **
(00:41:12) If react immediately, I shut her down, if I wait too long, I shut me down) **
(01:02:48) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
3 Ways to Support Us
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
Join Team Zen
Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
Donate to MenLiving
Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:01:00) Grief & Time- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
(00:07:13) Relationship Agreements
(00:22:40) Novelty & Ordinary
(00:25:26) Join Team Zen
(00:32:44) Incredible hulk
(00:34:49) Levels of joy **
(00:45:02) Body Awareness **
(00:48:40) Normal Eating **
(00:50:48 ) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
3 Ways to Support Us
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Todd and Cathy discuss who’s in the inner circle of the Brat Pack and who is Brat Pack adjacent based on their memories from the 80s and their experience with Andrew McCarthy’s Brat Pack Documentary. They discuss how growth and self-awareness play significant roles in the documentary, and why some individuals evolve faster than others. They also touch on Inside Out 2 and address a listener question about shifting generational cycles.
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
Join Team Zen
Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
Donate to MenLiving
Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:00:43) Join Team Zen
(00:01:20) Chain breaker in a family system
(00:10:20) Brats
(00:54:29) Inside Out
(01:00:58) Panic Attacks**
(01:01:32) Parts work **
(01:03:20) uncomfortable and uncomfortable emotion **
(01:05:42) Pride- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
(01:06:14) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
3 Ways to Support Us
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Cathy and Todd discuss how women are socialized to become smaller and more restricted, and then begin to unwind and unfold this process once they become aware of what’s happening. Cathy provides an overview of this in her Substack titled ‘Women Unfolding,’ explaining why this is the image she sees in her mind when she works with women. Todd shares his version of men unfolding, and they discuss songs that have parentheses in the title and debate whether or not those parentheses are necessary.
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
Join Team Zen
Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
Donate to MenLiving
Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:13:33) Todd’s perception of cheese sauce on nachos *
(00:00:52) Join Team Zen
(00:17:27) Women Unfolding- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
(00:20:29) Folds in regards to on our kids report cards *
(00:29:40) Folding in as if we’re still children *
(00:32:20) The hole
(00:44:15) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
3 Ways to Support Us
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Todd and Cathy discuss acceptance and emphasize the importance of releasing old ideas and remaining open to new ones in order to figure out how to accept and move forward. They also discuss the reality of nuance and paradox, explaining why decision-making is not about finding the ‘right’ decision, but rather the right decision for right now. The also talk about Tim McGraw’s music and how it reminds us to be our best selves.
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
Join Team Zen
Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
Monday Night Wildcard- Why did “Man or Bear” Go Viral? (all genders)
Donate to MenLiving
Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:04:38) Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
(00:10:54) Acceptance
(00:12:30) When couples lose themselves and blend
(00:28:33) Kids doing it differently
(00:29:02) Join Team Zen
(00:32:07) When life doesn’t match out blueprint **
(00:41:03) Devil’s advocate on acceptance**
(00:59:28) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
3 Ways to Support Us
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Cathy and Todd discuss why necessary conversations are so difficult to manage and why and how we try to avoid them. They share examples of the experiences that lead to avoidance and offer insights into developing understanding instead. They emphasize why the most challenging and reactive conversations can be pivotal for relationships and lead to greater intimacy.
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
Join Team Zen
Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
Monday Night Wildcard- Why did “Man or Bear” Go Viral? (all genders)
Donate to MenLiving
Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:01:40) Cicadas
(00:06:35) Todd’s old man tendencies
(00:11:40) Relationship talk
(00:19:55) It’s not about the thing
(00:23:20) The cost of not dealing with conflict
(00:30:00) Join Team Zen
(00:49:49) Empty nest coaches **
(01:07:30) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
(01:07:30) Join Team Zen
3 Ways to Support Us
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Cathy and Todd discuss Netflix’s ‘Love on the Spectrum’ and why the people and families featured make it such a good watch. They discuss the importance of loving, and liking, our children just as they are, and how this allows them to thrive, and they analyze Harrison Butker’s speech and why it was offensive in many different ways.
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
Join Team Zen
Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
Monday Night Wildcard- Why did “Man or Bear” Go Viral? (all genders)
Donate to MenLiving
Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:12:16) Love on the Spectrum
(00:30:00) Jamming on the Job
(00:35:30) Just love your kid **
(00:02:08) Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
(01:02:00) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
(01:02:30) Join Team Zen
3 Ways to Support Us
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Cathy and Todd discuss Gen X slang and intertwine the most popular phrases with clips from the most memorable pop culture moments. They discuss how language changes over time and break down the most popular Gen Z slang, offering suggestions on when to use it (or when not to).
Todd and Cathy are hosting a live discussion about the “man or bear” debate on Monday, May 20th at 7pm CT through the MenLiving platform – all genders are welcome, see below for link to join.
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
Join Team Zen
Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
Monday Night Wildcard- Why did “Man or Bear” Go Viral? (all genders)
Donate to MenLiving
Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:02:42) Join Team Zen
(00:03:54) Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
(00:09:38) Slang
(00:36:40) Todd’s English class in high school **
(00:45:15) Gen Z Slang
(00:46:00) You’re primitive **
(01:03:00) To Netflix and chill **
(00:48:32) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
3 Ways to Support Us
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Cathy and Todd discussed the viral “man or bear” debate, addressing why many women felt compelled to pick “bear” and why some men felt hurt or angry. They discussed the importance of listening and empathy when it comes to other people’s experiences and how being defensive might be our initial reaction, but we can choose compassion and understanding. They also discussed why opting out of something we don’t want to do makes room for the things we do want to do. Todd and Cathy are hosting a live discussion about the “man or bear” debate on Monday, May 20th at 7pm CT through the MenLiving platform – all genders are welcome, see below for link to join.
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
Join Team Zen
Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
Monday Night Wildcard- Why did “Man or Bear” Go Viral? (all genders)
Donate to MenLiving
Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:00:52) Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
(00:01:42) Join Team Zen
(00:06:11) Cathy opting out **
(00:22:46) Man or bear
(00:35:06) Get curious
(00:38:52) Power over **
(00:48:32) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
3 Ways to Support Us
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Todd and Cathy discuss how to talk to kids in the morning without being too annoying. They also discuss when to use Gen Z slang and when not to, and why not “needing” too much from our kids makes us easier to talk to. They also discuss Taylor’s new album, the movie Swingers, and why pop culture makes for great conversation with our kids.
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
Donate to MenLiving
Join Team Zen
Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:00:41) Swingers- movie and lifestyle
(00:01:56) Risky Business
(00:04:20) Join Team Zen
(00:06:45) Actors who are good athletes
(00:10:08) The movie “Swingers” and parenting
(00:21:53) Todd’s challenges in the morning ***
(00:25:55) Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
(00:29:45) Understanding teenage slang words
(00:47:08) Just be authentic ***
(00:52:20) The Bolter by Taylor Swift
(00:55:00) Painting and Remodeling Needs? Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
3 Ways to Support Us
- Sign up for Cathy’s Substack
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Todd and Cathy discussed the importance of developing talents and the challenges of pursuing one’s passions. They also emphasized the need for understanding and empathizing when teenage boys lash out or question their belonging (they share an audioclip from Dr. John Duffy). They shared the difference between empathy and sympathy, and why it’s important to be really clear about what you need and ask for it. They ended the show by discussing the victim, villain, hero triangle and what it really means when you are ‘hero-ing’ someone.
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
Donate to MenLiving
Join Team Zen
Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:03:44) Passion vs Talent
(00:27:14) Do our boys feel lost?
(00:29:35) Join Team Zen
(00:42:02) Empathy vs sympathy
(00:48:25) Not letting it sit *
(00:59:26) Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
3 Ways to Support Us
- Check out Zen Parenting Weekend 2024
- Video Montage
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Cathy and Todd discuss the distinction between weaponized incompetence and regular incompetence, exploring how gender norms and societal expectations shape these ideas. They engage in real-time reflection on how they navigate these dynamics within their partnership and parenting, and they stress the need for communication and flexibility depending on the situation. This is a good episode to listen to with your partner or friends! Lots of issues to discuss and process.
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
Donate to MenLiving
Join Team Zen
Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:29:15) Join Team Zen
(00:39:25) Cathy “I’m good at this” *
(00:50:44) Seeing vs needing *
(01:03:48) Weaponized incompetence ? through the lens of making the bed *
(00:59:26) Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
3 Ways to Support Us
- Check out Zen Parenting Weekend 2024
- Video Montage
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Todd and Cathy discuss two factors that make parenting feel more self-directed and understandable. While it will still be messy, unpredictable, and tiring, at least you will feel more in your integrity while doing it! They also talk about listening skills, anxiety, NCAA basketball, and Beyoncé’s new album.
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
Donate to MenLiving
Join Team Zen
MenLiving Eastern Advance
Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:00:00) Intro
(00:03:34) Tournament of Bad
(00:10:24) 5 regrets of dying
(00:15:30) The differences in the way we watch sports
(00:29:06) The first secret to parenting
(00:37:30) The second secret to parenting
(00:38:05) Todd’s Starbuck’s story
(00:40:11) Cathy’s late bus story
(00:52:00) The 1 rule of parenting
(00:59:26) Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
3 Ways to Support Us
- Check out Zen Parenting Weekend 2024
- Video Montage
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
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This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
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Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Todd and Cathy discuss about how genuine curiosity helps our kids really hear us and value what we’re saying. The same goes for understanding each other in a partnership or empathizing with someone from a different gender perspective. When we’re open about not having all the answers, it paves the way for learning and staying connected.
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
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Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:00:00) Intro
(00:19:31) Team Zen
(00:21:27) Can’t throw water at a closed door
(00:26:24) Having a conversation with your kids about Sephora *
(00:40:42) The greatness of Caitlin Clark- the difference ways of greatness *
(00:48:41) Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
3 Ways to Support Us
- Check out Zen Parenting Weekend 2024
- Video Montage
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Cathy and Todd discuss the importance of emotional conversations with our kids and why we need to pay attention to how we experience and perceive what our children are telling us. They discuss what kids really need from us when they are emotional and how we can support them without absolving or absorbing their pain. They also discuss Friday Night Videos and commercials from the 80’s.
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
Join Team Zen
MenLiving Eastern Advance
Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:00:00) Intro
(00:12:54) The Do’s & Don’ts of Emotional Conversations
(00:20:40) Cathy’s experience of parents at school presentations
(00:30:08) Team Zen
(00:35:03) The two phrases that can help
(00:40:08) What to do when they dump all of their day right before you go to bed
(00:42:00) How to prep for the emotional conversations
(00:58:48) Todd’s vs Cathy’s default
(01:03:23) Jeremy Kraft Avid Co- Jeremy Kraft the bald-headed beauty from Avid Co – Painting and remodeling for the western suburbs 630-956-1800
3 Ways to Support Us
- Check out Zen Parenting Weekend 2024
- Video Montage
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Todd & Cathy discuss why it’s the ordinary moments that make us feel connected and content, and why what we end up missing are the simple things, not the big things. They also discuss the five things that make someone a Gen Xer, have a follow-up discussion about astrology and its usefulness, and Cathy talks about her new book RESTORING OUR GIRLS, coming in early 2025.
Join Team Zen to hear Cathy & Todd’s talk about bringing genuine romance back into your relationship (3/18, 7 pm).
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
Join Team Zen
MenLiving Eastern Advance
Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:01:22) ZPR Women’s March Madness Pool
(00:08:06) Moment- Astrology
(00:13:25) The warrior “bang bang” *
(00:16:28) Tournament of Bad -Frustrations with kids and doordash
(00:21:15) Workshop titled “Sephora Kids”
(00:26:42) Team Zen
(00:30:52) Restoring Our Girls Announcement
(00:36:27) The Ordinary is the Extraordinary
(01:00:05) Jeremy Kraft Avid Co- Jeremy Kraft the bald-headed beauty from Avid Co – Painting and remodeling for the western suburbs 630-956-1800
3 Ways to Support Us
- Check out Zen Parenting Weekend 2024
- Video Montage
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Todd and Cathy discuss the stories we create about our lives and process whether or not we can reconsider our stories – not to deny reality, but to focus on what’s working rather than what’s lost. They also talk about role models for men, why it’s important to acknowledge every aspect of ourselves, what’s going on with Hall&Oates, and whether or not astrology is a science-based tool.
Join Team Zen to hear Cathy & Todd’s talk about bringing genuine romance back into your relationship (3/18, 7 pm).
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
David Serrano Personal Financial Advisor
Join Team Zen
Monday Night Wildcard- True Romance (all genders)
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Jeremy Kraft from Avid Painting and Remodeling 630-956-1800
Time Stamps
(00:09:45) Ghosts-
(00:15:19) Travis and Jason Kelse- healthy masculinity?
(00:26:55) Zen Parenting Moment brought to you by David Serrano Financial Advisor Services 815-370-3780
(00:30:39) Stories and meaning we create
(00:31:10) Team Zen
(00:43:32) Astrology
(01:02:10) Jeremy Kraft from Avid Co – Painting and remodeling for the western suburbs 630-956-1800
(00:09:45) Zen Parenting Moment brought to you by 815-370-3780
3 Ways to Support Us
- Check out Zen Parenting Weekend 2024
- Video Montage
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Cathy and Todd discuss why we struggle to show up as fully ourselves in groups, and how we can get better at noticing this behavior. Then Todd says, “I’m just not feeling it” so they move into a pop culture conversation that seems to be about nothing, or maybe it was about a lot of little somethings including Bon Jovi, the members of New Edition, why stuffed animals are important, how Cathy got their daughter to stop stealing her brush, why Cathy’s college friends are so funny, and the importance of capybaras, cats, interrogation videos and gorillas on Reels & TikTok. Join Team Zen to hear Cathy & Todd’s talk about bringing genuine romance back into your relationship (3/18, 7 pm).
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
David Serrano Personal Financial Advisor
Join Team Zen
Monday Night Wildcard- True Romance (all genders)
MenLiving Eastern Advance
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Time Stamps
(00:05:56) Bad Medicine
(00:09:45) Zen Parenting Moment brought to you by David Serrano Financial Advisor Services 815-370-3780
(00:14:54) Cool it now
(00:16:37) Kids love to correct us
(00:18:42) Kids need to conform
(00:20:49) Cathy’s meditation area
(00:24:53) Cathy’s trivia
(00:27:42) A discussion about Monkey
(00:36:25) Cathy laughs hard
(00:39:43) Favorite animals
(00:28:22) The show is about nothing
(00:50:15) Monday Night Wildcard- True Romance (all genders)
(00:51:35) Join Team Zen
(00:52:48) MenLiving Eastern Advance
3 Ways to Support Us
- Check out Zen Parenting Weekend 2024
- Video Montage
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Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Cathy and Todd discuss how our upbringing shapes our current approach to parenting, share why some traditional parenting tricks fall short, and attempt to redefine romance—it’s not just about grand gestures, but the heartfelt intentions behind them.
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
David Serrano Personal Financial Advisor
Join Team Zen
WHY TIME-OUTS DON’T WORK – WHAT TO DO INSTEAD
MenLiving Eastern Advance
Time Stamps
(00:03:43) Zen Parenting Moment brought to you by Financial Advisor David Serrano
(00:09:18) Why timeouts don’t work
(00:15:13) The should of motherhood
(00:28:00) David Serrano Financial Advisor Services 815-370-3780
(00:28:54) Join Team Zen
(00:29:58) Drinking in front of our kids
(00:39:09) Being romantic (or not)
3 Ways to Support Us
- Check out Zen Parenting Weekend 2024
- Video Montage
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Cathy and Todd discuss an article from The New York Times titled, ‘Parents Are Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives, and Fine With It,‘ explaining that staying intimately connected to our older children has benefits, not just risks, and most young adults agree. They discuss the perspectives of previous generations and why things have changed, as well as why it’s easy to stay connected due to devices and the research around effective parenting. They also discuss the fascination with OOTD (outfit of the day) and GRWM (get ready with me) on social media and how we can talk to our kids about comparison culture and self-worth.
For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Resources
David Serrano Personal Financial Advisor
Join Team Zen
Parents Are Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives, and Fine With It
Time Stamps
(00:01:52) Zen Parenting Moment brought to you by Financial Advisor David Serrano
(00:03:11) Secret love commercial
(00:15:38) Macaroni & cheese
(00:20:54) Parents Are Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives, and Fine With It
(00:26:44) David Serrano Financial Advisor Services 815-370-3780
(00:27:38) Join Team Zen
(00:28:50) Todd’s stories generation comparison
3 Ways to Support Us
- Check out Zen Parenting Weekend 2024
- Video Montage
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Todd and Cathy talk with Author Nate Klemp about his new book, Open: Living with an Expansive Mind in a Distracted World. They discuss why technology is addictive and so appealing, and how it’s not our fault that we are attracted to screens and scrolling. They also discuss how being closed leads to polarization and conspiracy theories, while staying open reconnects us and helps us see the world in a new and more optimistic way. Nate shares his experiences with screen bingeing, psychedelic-assisted therapy, and meeting people who think differently, emphasizing the importance of being willing to have a conversation.
Todd and Cathy discuss the explosion of online sports betting and why kids and teens are more likely to develop a gambling disorder than adults. They discuss the reasons why teens use it, how AI is being used to market at them, and how, just like weed, alcohol, and porn, it necessitates an ongoing conversation to make sure our kids understand how it works (not in their favor) and the possible consequences. They also discuss why setting boundaries is essential to practice true empathy and how the 2024 Grammys were a Gen X dream.
Todd and Cathy discuss the two types of messy conversations and explain why it's important to know the difference if you want to connect with your kid. They discuss the awesomeness of Zen Parenting, 2024 and share some of the most important lessons learned. They also highlight the significance of knowing less, listening more, and discovering what 'time well spent' means.
In Part Two of our three-part series with Dr. John Duffy, author of 'Rescuing Our Sons,' John shares why emotional intelligence is crucial for boys. He tells a story about one of his clients who took a gender studies class and explores the 'Taylor Swift effect,' emphasizing why boys need more of this kind of joy. Find Part One in the show notes and tune in tomorrow for Part Three.
In Part Two of our three-part series with Dr. John Duffy, author of 'Rescuing Our Sons,' John shares why emotional intelligence is crucial for boys. He tells a story about one of his clients who took a gender studies class and explores the 'Taylor Swift effect,' emphasizing why boys need more of this kind of joy. Find Part One in the show notes and tune in tomorrow for Part Three.
Cathy and Todd interview Dr. John Duffy, author of 'Rescuing Our Boys,' discussing his book and the state of boys in America. In the first part of a three-part series, they explore John's experiences while talking with boys during therapy, the reasons boys feel like they don’t belong, and the lack of male role models for boys today. Listen tomorrow for Part Two.
Cathy and Todd discuss the power of words and how their significance is subjective to the person using them. They focus on the necessity of being seen, emphasizing how the quality of our partnerships and parenting is influenced by our ability to truly see others. The discuss what it means to have a healthy relationship and share why anecdotal evidence may not always be conclusive.
Cathy and Todd share the best clips from interviews with their friends Michelle Icard, Dr. Devorah Heitner, Dr. John Duffy, and Dr. Alexandra Solomon (they are all keynote speakers at Zen Parenting, 2024, Jan 26&27)! They also discuss the heightened skincare of teens, why we need so many sweatshirts, and why conflict is so common in our most important relationships.
Todd and Cathy discuss why it’s important to process how the holidays went before moving forward—what worked, what didn’t, and what can be repaired or celebrated. They also focus on school refusal after the holidays, emotional labor during the holidays, and answer a question about what’s most important when raising boys.
Dr. Shefali returns to ZPR to discuss her new book The Parenting Map: Step-by-Step Solutions to Consciously Create the Ultimate Parent-Child Relationship. They discuss how to check our own egos, recognize our children’s psyches, and make connection the cornerstone of our parenting experience.
Cathy and Todd discuss their favorite holiday movies, what makes them great, and whether or not they are truly holiday movies. They share clips from the best movies and finish with the top 20 best holiday movies of all time.
Todd and Cathy talk with Michelle Icard, the author of '14 Talks by Age 14' and her new book, '8 Setbacks that Can Make a Child a Success.' They discuss why we try to manage everyone's emotions, the challenges of letting our kids experience failure, and how embracing these challenges can contribute to building their character and enabling them to navigate their own lives.
Todd and Cathy discuss gender norms and explore ways to validate, acknowledge, and challenge them. They also dive into the comedy of Nate Bargatze, highlighting its observational nature that prompts thought and reflection.
Cathy and Todd discuss how to create strong support systems for our kids, allowing them to have new and unique experiences and build relationships that contribute to their self-understanding. Teaching them about boundaries, encouraging them to ask for help, and making sure they know it's totally okay to speak up if something feels off give them the confidence to trust themselves, even when you're not right there with them.
Todd and Cathy dive deep into some quotes about gratitude and explore how to incorporate gratitude into our everyday and ordinary lives. They also answer some listener’s questions and play clips from Planes, Trains, and Automobiles (the best Thanksgiving movie!) and Nate Bargatze’s stand-up.
Cathy and Todd talk with Patrice Lenowitz, Executive Director of The Nurtured Parent, domestic abuse survivor, victims’ rights advocate, activist, and mother of Max, who tragically died of fentanyl poisoning in 2022. Patrice is now on a mission to raise awareness around Fentanyl Poisoning through legislation and education and to help parents understand why and how kids are exposed. She also talks about the importance of supporting our youth when it comes to trauma, anxiety, and depression, to decrease the likelihood of street drug usage to alleviate their pain.
Cathy and Todd discuss entitlement and how to better relate and understand our kids. They talk about the importance of intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation, why it takes kids time to change their behavior, and how to avoid using shame when communicating family values.
Cathy and Todd discuss the loss of Matthew Perry and the significance of Chandler and the TV show "FRIENDS" for our generation. They also share strategies for addressing anxiety with children, focusing on normalizing, accepting, and preventing emotions from becoming overwhelming.
Todd and Cathy discuss empathic listening and how to respond with curiosity and non-judgment when our kids ask difficult questions. Whether it pertains to conflicts abroad or everyday challenges, the capacity to listen to our children is something we can continuously improve over time. Additionally, our ability to understand our partner's communication style and needs can help us avoid conflicts.
Cathy and Todd exchange quotes and mantras that remind them to stay in the moment, alleviate their anxiety, and prompt them to center their thoughts on gratitude. They discuss how they use these phrases and explore why our brains tend to fixate on what's wrong rather than what's already working. For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.Timestamps(00:00:00) Introduction and the podcast's motto.(00:00:37) Discussing Cathy's meditation area, post-it notes, and the importance of quotes and mantras.(00:01:30) Mention of Michael Singer's "The Untethered Soul" and its influence.(00:01:50) Introduction to the Zen Parenting in-person event focusing on teens: discussing the complexities and challenges faced by today's teenagers.(00:03:00) Explanation of the event's approach: Opening up conversations and fostering communication with teenagers.(00:04:15) The importance of understanding and accepting children as they are.(00:06:20) Discussion on neurodiversity and the challenges of labeling.(00:09:03) The significance of self-awareness in parenting and personal growth.(00:12:45) Diving deeper into specific quotes and mantras that inspire Cathy and Todd.(00:14:47) Delving into the mantra of "You are enough" and its implications.(00:18:07) Reflecting on the interconnectedness of life and the importance of perspective.(00:28:19) Exploring the idea of "letting go" and its relevance in various life situations.(00:34:20) The role of vulnerability in personal development and parenting.(00:42:16) The concept of "holding space" for oneself and others.(00:43:56) The importance of gratitude and its impact on daily life.3 Ways to Support Us Check out Zen Parenting Weekend 2024 Video Montage Join Team Zen Subscribe to our YouTube PageOther Ways to Support Us Ask Us Anything! Subscribe to Cathy's weekly Zen Parenting Moment Follow us on social media Instagram YouTube Facebook Buy and leave a review for Cathy's Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profileThis week’s sponsor(s): Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving - A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for GuysResourcesAsk Us AnythingIf You've Come this Far Podcast
In this episode of Zen Parenting Radio, Todd and Cathy have a thoughtful conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a relationship expert and clinical psychologist. They discuss Dr. Solomon's upcoming book, "Love Every Day," providing listeners with helpful insights into love, relationships, and self-discovery.
Cathy and Todd revisit Stephen Covey's “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” (1989) and discuss how each habit can help us improve our relationships with ourselves and our loved ones. They also explore why a paradigm shift is the key to reducing anxiety and enhancing our understanding of others. For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Cathy and Todd talk with Jennifer Wallace about her New York Times Bestseller Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic – and What We Can Do About It. They discuss the definition of happiness and why parents feel so pressured to help their kids “succeed”. They also process the difference between extrinsic and intrinsic motivators, why interdependence changes our perspective, and why “mattering” is the key to family wellbeing.
Cathy and Todd discuss the differences between ADHD in men and women and the reasons why so many adult women are getting diagnosed today. They do a follow up about highly sensitive people (HSP), discuss the #GRWM craze, and share an 80’s commercial that will get stuck in your brain.
Todd and Cathy converse with Dr. Devorah Heitner, the author of "Screenwise" and her NEW book "Growing Up in Public." They discuss the downsides and benefits of tracking your kids, whether it's a good idea to read your kids' texts, how to address the topic of sexting, and whether colleges are scrutinizing your kids' posts. Her book is now available as of September 12th, and it's a must-read!
Todd and Cathy discuss the three different types of perfectionism and why trying to perfect actually backfires and leads to fragility. They discuss why our culture has overvalued the idea of being perfect, the importance of humanizing over humiliating, and they answer a follow-up question about highly sensitive children.
Time Stamps
3 Ways to support us
- Join us for ZPR 2024
- Join Team Zen
- Subscribe to our YouTube Page
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
Other Ways to Support Us
- Ask Us Anything!
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Follow us on social media
- YouTube
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
- Buy and leave a review for Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Resources
Zen Parenting 2024
Dad Holding Space for His Daughter’s Big Feelings
Ask Us Anything
If You’ve Come this Far Podcast
Cathy and Todd discuss the concept of being a highly sensitive person, and they explore how it feels to be a highly sensitive kid. They also address "ASK US ANYTHING" questions from listeners, offering guidance on how to talk to your kids about behavior modification charts in school (when they're not used at home) and providing advice on how to relate to an irritable and uncooperative child. For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
3 Ways to support us
Join Team Zen Subscribe to our YouTube Page Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
Other Ways to Support Us
Ask Us Anything! Subscribe to Cathy's weekly Zen Parenting Moment Follow us on social media
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Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile Buy and leave a review for Cathy's Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
This week’s sponsor(s):
Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving - A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Time Stamps
(00:25:03) Our partner of the week Koko Sleep – Bedtime Stories & Meditations For Kids
Resources
Ask Us Anything
If You've Come this Far Podcast
Cathy and Todd discuss Jack Kornfield’s advice for reducing anxiety, and how fear, history, and programming can make it more difficult. They process why back-to-school is particularly challenging for parents, and the simultaneous presence of joy and grief as children grow and transition. They are joined by Millie Hsi, a friend and member of their Team Zen virtual community, who shares her personal experiences and insights on coping with anxiety.
Todd and Cathy welcome Shaun Emerson and Chris Lozier, hosts of the If You’ve Come This Far podcast. They discuss why it can be difficult to discuss men and women’s issues without getting defensive, and why statistics may point toward progress, but reality still feels imbalanced. They debate the effectiveness of frameworks and personality tests in personal growth, and how labels can be freeing but also stunting. They process how knowledge is vital, but transforming our knowledge into practice is what really leads to meaningful change.
Cathy and Todd discuss the many layers of Barbie and why it has become such a phenomenon and lightning rod when it comes to discussing gender differences. They share candidly about seeing each other’s perspectives, how to think critically, and how to bring our 'whole' selves into the viewing experience. They discuss why the movie is an existential crisis, a representation of girlhood and womanhood, and an absolute paradox all at the same time. This is a good podcast to listen to with your partner and/or family!
Todd & Cathy talk with Hunter Clarke-Fields, Author of Raising Good Humans Every Day- 50 Simple Ways to Press Pause, Stay Present, and Connect with Your Kids. They discuss Beginning Anew, find a thread, playing your own music, mindfulness, the messy, and not parentifying our kids. For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
Cathy & Todd discuss how our early experiences dictate our life patterns, and how we can recognize these patterns and decide what helps and what hurts. It's all about honoring the memories and traditions that mean something to us, while also letting go of what no longer serves us. They also discuss the legacy of Madonna and how she shifted the musical landscape for women, and Todd’s hot take on the best baseball player of all time.
Todd & Cathy talk with John O’Sullivan, Founder of the Changing the Game Project and host of the Way of Champions Podcast about his new book, The Champion Teammate: Timeless Lessons to Connect, Compete and Lead in Sports and Life. They discuss how to be a valued teammate, what it means to be a champion, and what it takes to connect, compete, and thrive in sports and life. What’s shared is applicable way beyond sports so it’s an important conversation for all parents, but it’s especially enlightening for those who are currently raising athletes.
Todd and Cathy discuss how co-opted therapy speak can make “love” more like control. They specifically discuss Jonah Hill’s ex-girlfriend sharing texts where he says he is enforcing his “boundaries” when he is actually giving her rules and ultimatums. They discuss how life is messy and everything is nuanced, and how Maya Angelou taught that love liberates, it doesn’t hold.
Todd and Cathy discuss the difficult, but also transformational quality of change and how it teaches us to grow and trust life’s patterns. They answer a listener question about how to view their daughter’s outbursts and challenging behavior, and they share and process three quotes from Season 2 of The Bear – starting with Richie’s thought-provoking quote, “I'm not like this because I'm in Van Halen. I'm in Van Halen because I'm like this…
Cathy and Todd discuss how to experience parenting challenges as part of the story rather than the entire story. They discuss how to zoom out and see the big picture, but also how to zoom in and experience compassion and connection with your kids. They process how to not take things personally, and how to recognize that we are all just watching our own movie.
Todd and Cathy discuss how we can talk to our kids about spirituality and self-trust, and why role modeling and patience can be the most effective tools. They discuss how to deal with anger, how to talk to our kids about anger, and how to utilize difficult emotions for deeper self awareness.
Todd and Cathy Adams explore the themes of wonder, father-son relationships, vulnerability in parenting, and the enduring appeal of baseball in their heartfelt analysis of the movie "Field of Dreams," emphasizing the importance of understanding and empathizing with parental figures and embracing the wonders of life. For the full show notes, visit zenparentingradio.com.
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This week’s sponsor(s):
Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. MenLiving - A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys Who Smarted?
Time Stamps
(00:00:00) Introduction
(00:40:23) Who Smarted?
(01:22:58) Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
(01:23:08) MenLiving - A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
Resources
Ask Us Anything
Who Smarted?
Cathy & Todd answer listener questions (about the practice of self-awareness, highly sensitive kids, and how to talk to our kids about every important thing before they graduate…) and they also discuss Taylor Swift, her popularity, and how she is connected to Full Catastrophe Living.
Cathy and Todd discuss how codependency, enmeshment, narcissism, and lack of boundaries are weaved into Succession and the Logan family, and how we can be more self-aware about what we are role modeling and teaching our children. They also discuss the importance of internal and external validation and why no matter what happens to the Logan children, they will never be satisfied.
Cathy and Todd discuss how it’s not our kids’ job to support us, but we can encourage them to understand us. They also discuss the importance of self-compassion when parenting, why our boys need more male role models, and how to deal with change as our kids grow and graduate. Link to Podcast Episode on our website.
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- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
- Who Smarted?
Time Stamps
(00:00) Intro
(05:37) Raising Healthy Sons
(14:28) Ask us Anything- How do I get support from my child without “parentifying” them
(24:49) Who Smarted?
(36:44) Graduation transitions
(48:24) Outro
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Coaching
Resources
Ask Us Anything
Who Smarted?
In the Part 2 of our conversation with Mike Domitrz, Founder of the Center for Respect, returns to discuss how to talk to our kids about porn, consent, and sexual assault. He shares how to simplify difficult topics and how to offer our kids a “lens” when it comes to porn and sex on television. He also shares why talking about sex becomes even more important as we age, why he doesn’t use statistics when talking to groups, and how the bottom line for every discussion is about respect and valuing our most important relationships. Link to Podcast Episode on our website.
Connect with us!
- Join Team Zen
- Ask Us Anything!
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Buy Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
- Who Smarted?
Time Stamps
0:31 Continuing conversation with your kids about porn
2:40 Ways humans respond to threat
11:00 Stats on people who are assaulted
20:53 Engaging in conversation with our kids
24:08 Who Smarted?
28:13 More stats
38:26 false reporting
50:46 Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
50:20 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
Resources
Building a Culture Of Consent and Respect: A Discussion with Mike Domitrz From the Date Safe Project Podcast #347
Metoo. So What Now? An Interview with Mike Domitrz- Podcast #411
Ask Us Anything
Virtual Class: Understanding Our Sons
Who Smarted?
Mike Domitrz, Founder of the Center for Respect, returns to discuss how to talk to our kids about porn, consent, and sexual assault. He shares how to simplify difficult topics and how to offer our kids a “lens” when it comes to porn and sex on television. He also shares why talking about sex becomes even more important as we age, why he doesn’t use statistics when talking to groups, and how the bottom line for every discussion is about respect and valuing our most important relationships. Link to Podcast Episode on our website.
Connect with us!
- About Mike Domitrz and the Center of Respect
- Join Team Zen
- Ask Us Anything!
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Buy Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
- Who Smarted?
Time Stamps
5:36 Rape culture principle
8:38 Conquering vs mutuality
13:38 transactional relationships
21:38 Meeting people where they are vs where they want to be
24:10 Who Smarted?
35:40 Discussion on porn
50:20 Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
50:20 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
Resources
Building a Culture Of Consent and Respect: A Discussion with Mike Domitrz From the Date Safe Project Podcast #347
Metoo. So What Now? An Interview with Mike Domitrz- Podcast #411
Ask Us Anything
Virtual Class: Understanding Our Sons
Who Smarted?
Cathy & Todd discuss swearing, its origins, and how to talk to your kids about its usage. They also discuss when and how to offer a heartfelt apology, and how to relate and understand other people’s experiences.
Connect with us!
- Join Team Zen
- Ask Us Anything!
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Buy Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Time Stamps
2:31 Apologizing
16:18 Swearing
23:27 Why we swear
28:33 Parenting philosophy on swearing
29:36 Who Smarted?
36:23 Class & Vocabulary
39:40 Swearing and honesty
42:35 Swearing and physiology
48:06 Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
48:06 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
Resources
Pantene ‘Sorry, Not Sorry’ Commercial
How To Listen To Each Other- Podcast #695
Swearing Is More Important Than You Think
Ask Us Anything
Virtual Class: Understanding Our Sons
Who Smarted?
Cathy and Todd discuss the movies that matter most to them, and how they relate to self-awareness, integrity, and even parenting. They discuss how we can use pop culture to communicate and get to know our kids, and how their other podcast, Pop Culturing, is deep dive into Gen X movies and TV.
Connect with us!
- Join Team Zen
- Ask Us Anything!
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Buy Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Time Stamps
1:14:23 Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
1:14:23 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
1:04:03 Pop Culturing
Resources
Ask Us Anything
Virtual Class: Understanding Our Sons
Todd & Cathy discuss evidence-based ways to be an effective leader and how to teach and demonstrate leadership to your children. They discuss the importance of early and ongoing social emotional learning, and how everything begins with self-awareness. They also process Adam Grant’s research around give and take, why knowing your “why” is important, and why feedback hits differently depending on your background and experience.
Connect with us!
- Join Team Zen
- Ask Us Anything!
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Buy Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Time Stamps
1:52 ZPR Moment on Feedback
15:06 Raising generous kids
20:04 The double bind of generosity for women
- Who Does What? Podcast #698
- Women Aren’t Nags, We’re Fed Up- Podcast #495
- Real-Time Emotional Labor- Podcast #440
- Emotional Labor is an Unpaid Job- Podcast #405
1:03:42 Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
1:03:55 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
1:04:03 Pop Culturing
Resources
Ask Us Anything
Virtual Class: Understanding Our Sons
Cathy and Todd discuss the research behind parenting styles and how it affects our communication and even our politics. They also discuss the “Tennessee Three” and how it relates to the difference between generations and how we are evolving (or not evolving) as people and as a country. They share a viral TikTok post from GradSchoolGramma that demonstrates what it really looks like parent in a self-aware, compassionate way, and mindful way.
Connect with us!
- Join Team Zen
- Ask Us Anything!
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Buy Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Time Stamps
1:00 Feedback
3:27 New Team Zen Members
5:46 Zen Parenting Moment- Real, Vulnerable, Pay Attention
7:57 Parenting Styles
- 10:00 Authoritarian
- 12:24 Todd’s least proud moments
- 14:18 Permissive
- 15:54 Uninvolved
- 16:19 Authoritative
20:55 Tennessee Three
29:57 The well speech
38:57 Grad School Gramma
45:28 Four questions
46:40 Pop Culturing
47:43 Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
47:54 MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
Resources
Ask Us Anything
Virtual Class: Understanding Our Sons
Cathy & Todd talk with author and educator Jessica Lahey about her book The Addiction Inoculation and the importance of Social Emotional Learning (SEL) when it comes to substance-use disorders, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence and regulation. They discuss the risk factors surrounding addiction and how genetics and culture play a role. Jessica shares what kids most need to hear from us and how we can create conversations about alcohol use, abuse, and the myths that don’t hold up to research.
Jessica Lahey (@jesslahey) is the author of the New York Times bestselling book The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence. Over twenty years, Jessica has taught every grade from sixth to twelfth in both public and private schools and spent five years teaching in a drug and alcohol rehab for adolescents in Vermont. She currently serves as a recovery coach at Sana at Stowe, a medical detox and recovery center in Stowe, Vermont, where 100 percent of her salary goes to a scholarship fund for young adults.
Connect with us!
- Join Team Zen
- Ask Us Anything!
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Buy Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Time Stamps
3:55 Who do some people have a problem with SEL in schools?
14:30 Risk factors for substance abuse
19:17 Are there differences in how best to support young men and young women?
24:14 How do we talk to our kids about addiction?
41:20 Telling the truth to our kids
46:20 Escaping and numbing behavior
49:52 The importance of modeling
53:55 Todd’s sister and genetics
100:45 Todd throws up & a discussion about rehab
Resources
The Gift Of Failure- Podcast #407
Ask Us Anything
Virtual Class: Understanding Our Daughters
Virtual Class: Understanding Our Sons
Cathy and Todd answer listeners question about what to do when life gets messy, unpredictable, and uncertain. They discuss movies to bring the family together, how to support our children who are dealing with friend issues, and how to figure out what “fair” means over and over again.
Connect with us!
- Join Team Zen
- Ask Us Anything!
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Buy Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Pinna is the only audio on-demand streaming service for kids 3-12! Enter the coupon code “ZPR” for one year of Pinna for 50% off
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Time Stamps
4:55 ZPR Moment- Where They Are
13:38 Watching shows with 5th and 8th grade daughters
28:18 Have y’all watched Servant on Apple TV?
29:36 Pinna is the only audio on-demand streaming service for kids 3-12! Enter the coupon code “ZPR” for one year of Pinna for 50% off
33:15 13 year old daughter struggling with new friend group
44:46 Is there anything more I could do as an expectant father?
Resources
Ask Us Anything
Virtual Class: Understanding Our Daughters
The Representation Project
Common Sense Media
Todd & Cathy talk with Michelle Anderson and Lauren Massarella from The Sister Project. They discuss the hygge lifestyle (a Danish word that loosely translates as cozy, comfy, and overall wellness), parenting, birth, and women’s health. Cathy, Michelle and Lauren lost their moms to dementia, so they discuss what it’s like to care for someone with dementia and how to support them through the process of death. They discuss the pain and beauty of grief and how we can take care of ourselves and each other.
Connect with us!
- Join Team Zen
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Buy Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Emotional Labor Checklist
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Pinna is the only audio on-demand streaming service for kids 3-12! Enter the coupon code “ZPR” for one year of Pinna for 50% off
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Time Stamps
11:16 Hygge
18:24 Embracing discomfort
27:00 How dads show up
28:32 Pinna is the only audio on-demand streaming service for kids 3-12! Enter the coupon code “ZPR” for one year of Pinna for 50% off
40:06 Dimentia
54:30 Guilt
55:25 Death
Resources
Ask Us Anything
Virtual Class: Understanding Our Daughters
The Sister Project
Cathy & Todd discuss 4 invitations to being a positive parent. They discuss 1) What do we want for our kids? 2) Relationship b/w EQ (Emotional intelligence) IQ (Intelligence Quotient) & BQ (Body Intelligence) 3) When we cop out 4) Discussion, not discipline
Ask Us Anything
Understanding Our Daughters
Connect with us!
- Join Team Zen
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Buy Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Emotional Labor Checklist
This week’s sponsor(s):
- When Things Aren’t Going Right, Go Left will be available on March 7th. Preorder now.
- Pinna is the only audio on-demand streaming service for kids 3-12! Enter the coupon code “ZPR” for one year of Pinna for 50% off
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Time Stamps
- 5:09 Preview of these 4 invitations
- 19:04 What is the definition of success?
- 31:05 Pinna is the only audio on-demand streaming service for kids 3-12! Enter the coupon code “ZPR” for one year of Pinna for 50% off
- 34:56 The problem with wanting our kids to be happy
- 43:07 Relationship b/w EQ (Emotional intelligence) IQ (intelligence Quotient) & BQ (Body Intelligence)
- 47:00 When we cop out
- 58:40 Discussion, not discipline
- 1:06:25 Avid Company- Painting and Remodeling throughout the Chicagoland Area
Resources
Ask Us Anything
Understanding Our Daughters
Cathy & Todd celebrate their 700th episode by discussing the universal principles of Zen Parenting, the importance of civil conversation, and what has remained the same for the last 12 years. Part 1 of 2.
Ask Us Anything
Understanding Our Daughters
Connect with us!
- Join Team Zen
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Buy Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Emotional Labor Checklist
This week’s sponsor(s):
- When Things Aren’t Going Right, Go Left will be available on March 7th. Preorder now.
- Pinna is the only audio on-demand streaming service for kids 3-12! Enter the coupon code “ZPR” for one year of Pinna for 50% off
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Time Stamps
7:25 The way we engage in discussion
16:50 Self-Awareness
29:57 Scholastic’s book- When Things Aren’t Going Right, Go Left will be available on March 7th. Preorder now.
30:35 Pinna is the only audio on-demand streaming service for kids 3-12! Enter the coupon code “ZPR” for one year of Pinna for 50% off
32:50 three different ways of being grumpy
38:18 Compassion
39:20 Being on-time
45:25 Mindfulness
51:09 Connection
Resources
Ask Us Anything
Understanding Our Daughters
Todd & Cathy discuss the different aspects of self-compassion and take the quiz to see who is more self-compassionate. They also talk about the movie Grease & Mr. Rogers.
Connect with us!
- Join Team Zen
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Buy Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
- Emotional Labor Checklist
This week’s sponsor(s):
- When Things Aren’t Going Right, Go Left will be available on March 7th. Preorder now.
- Pinna is the only audio on-demand streaming service for kids 3-12! Enter the coupon code “ZPR” for one year of Pinna for 50% off
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Time Stamps
1:30 Guys/boys/everyone/y’all
7:15 Zen Parenting Moment- Whole
9:22 Grease
14:50 Self-Compassion basics
24:47 mindfulness
30:14 Scholastic’s book- When Things Aren’t Going Right, Go Left will be available on March 7th. Preorder now.
30:52 Pinna is the only audio on-demand streaming service for kids 3-12! Enter the coupon code “ZPR” for one year of Pinna for 50% off
35:45 Mr. Rogers
43:55 Self-Compassionate Quiz
54:30 Purple turkey story
Resources
Self-Compassion Test
Todd & Cathy share how their roles have changed over the years and who does what around the house. They discuss the importance of communication around household expectations, and how roles are supposed to evolve and change as the kids grow. The discuss how invisible labor can be overlooked and why not everything we “do” can be found on a checklist.
Connect with us!
- Join Team Zen
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Buy Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Pinna is the only audio on-demand streaming service for kids 3-12! Enter the coupon code “ZPR” for one year of Pinna for 50% off
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Time Stamps
4:15 Thumbs up to Spain
6:43 Brush, the floss?
10:40 Menu- look at it before?
14:00 If you want your partner to worry less, worry more
32:26 Pinna is the only audio on-demand streaming service for kids 3-12! Enter the coupon code “ZPR” for one year of Pinna for 50% off
35:20 Who does what?
Dr. Shefali returns to ZPR to discuss her new book The Parenting Map: Step-by-Step Solutions to Consciously Create the Ultimate Parent-Child Relationship (available for preorder NOW, released on 2/28). They discuss how to check our own egos, recognize our children’s psyches, and make connection the cornerstone of our parenting experience. Dr. Shefali is hosting a FREE Parenting Mastery Online Summit with 30 Global Experts (Cathy is one of them!). Click here to register.
Connect with us!
- Dr. Shefali Tsabary Parenting Mastery Summit
- Join Team Zen
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Buy Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Pinna is the only audio on-demand streaming service for kids 3-12! Enter the coupon code “ZPR” for one year of Pinna for 50% off
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Time Stamps
6:40 Love or control/power?
12:29 Why kids lie to us
14:45 Punishment
19:04 Parental ego
26:24 Pinna.fm
36:48 Parenting industrial complex
43:48 Kids Psyche
Cathy & Todd discuss how our children learn by watching how we live and how we react, and why owning our emotional responses creates connection and opportunity for learning. They discuss the difference between responding and reacting (especially when it comes to anger), why “do what I say, not what I do” doesn’t land well, and why comparing our childhood experiences is like apples and oranges.
Connect with us!
- Join Team Zen
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Buy Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Stillwater and Koo Save the World Children’s Book
- Pinna is the only audio on-demand streaming service for kids 3-12! Enter the coupon code “ZPR” for one year of Pinna for 50% off
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Time Stamps
11:24 Zen Parenting Moment
14:40 Emotions- healthy or unhealthy?
23:13 Done. Not using busyness as an excuse
30:06 Pinna.fm
31:05 Stillwater and Koo Save the World Children’s Book
35:28 Serenity prayer and the dark days of parenting
47:10 Todd’s money baggage
Cathy & Todd discuss how we handle trauma, why boys are falling behind in school, and why the emotional intelligence of fathers is essential for cultural change. They also share a personal example of conflict, listening, and repair, and why self-compassion is essential if we are going to communicate effectively.
Connect with us!
- Join Team Zen
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Buy Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Stillwater and Koo Save the World Children’s Book
- Pinna is the only audio on-demand streaming service for kids 3-12! Enter the coupon code “ZPR” for one year of Pinna for 50% off
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Time Stamps
3:06 Zen Parenting Moment
3:26 Buffaloes & the cows
11:21 Banshees of Inisherin review
12:40 Women talking
17:59 Scott Galloway on Armchair Expert
30:15 Pinna.fm
31:14 Stillwater and Koo Save the World Children’s Book
32:06 LUFU Listen Until the other person Feels Understood
Todd & Cathy discuss ways to engage in deeper conversation with teenage boys, and how every suggestion is helpful to all relationships and conversations. They also discuss Prince Harry’s new book Spare, and how he learned to deal with “hover monkeys” and “mind squirrels” when becoming an Apache helicopter pilot. While his experience is unique, what he learned is helpful to all of us.
Connect with us!
- Join Team Zen
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Buy Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Time Stamps
4:20 Six ways to encourage deeper conversations with teenage boys
27:08 Prince Harry (Don’t poke the bear)
33:26 Hover monkeys & mind squirrels
Cathy and Todd discuss the passing of Cathy’s mom, Cathy’s recent diagnosis and surgery, and how they support each other in a crisis. They discuss their patterns of behavior, what they need from each other, and why showing up for each other in crisis can be difficult.
Connect with us!
- Join Team Zen
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Buy Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Time Stamps
1:00 Cathy’s mom’s passing
10:2 Cathy’s breast health
18:38 History of some of Todd’s bad decisions
Instead of posting a new podcast, we are reposting one of our favorites, the one where we interview our moms. Unfortunately, Cathy’s mom passed away yesterday, and we wanted to share this to honor her. We share some great stories and have some great laughs. Please listen and enjoy – and even more important, be good to each other.
In honor of Mother’s Day, we invited our moms to talk about what we were like as kids. We also talk about the changes that have taken place from the time they were kids (a.k.a. the olden days) to raising us in the 70’s – we also discuss how their grandchildren are being raised. We get nostalgic and we have a lot of laughs. We love our moms!
Connect with us!
- Join Team Zen
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Buy Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Time Stamps
Todd & Cathy share their experiences of what they find good, true and beautiful, and why finding and discussing these things makes life more meaningful. They talk about the joy of feeding the birds and squirrels, creating a comfortable sleeping environment, and why Todd is never late for a party.
Connect with us!
- Join Team Zen
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Buy Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Time Stamps
2:07 Good
21:29 True
27:51 Codependent vs interdependent
36:52 Beautiful
Resources
Thai commercial
Cathy & Todd discuss 8 peaceful things from 2022 and how to incorporate more peace and joy into 2023. They discuss the importance of music, why we need to embrace our creativity, and the TV shows they are watching with their teenagers.
Morgan Harper Nichols
Zen Parenting book
Phil Stutz
The Tools
The Vow
Drums
Taylor Swift
The Crown
Stranger Things
Severance
Euphoria
The Artists Way
Connect with us!
- Join Team Zen
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Buy Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Time Stamps
5:32 The art and poetry of Morgan Harper Nichols
9:42 Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
12:05 Self-compassion
25:03 team zen
28:24 Stutz on Netflix and The Tools by Phil Stutz and Barry Michels
29:59 The Vow, A Little Bit Culty, WTF is on my Mind?! with Marc Vicente –
33:10 Drums
38:06 Taylor Swift
41:31 Stranger Things, The Crown, Severance, The Drop Out, The Midnight Club, Euphoria
46:04 The Artists Way
Resources
Todd and Cathy replay their Pop Culturing episode on Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is a 1964 Christmas stop motion animated television special produced by Videocraft International, Ltd. (later known as Rankin/Bass Productions) and currently distributed by Universal Television. It first aired Sunday, December 6, 1964, on the NBC television network in the United States and was sponsored by General Electric under the umbrella title of The General Electric Fantasy Hour. The special was based on the Johnny Marks song “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” which was itself based on the poem of the same name written in 1939 by Marks’ brother-in-law, Robert L. May. Since 1972, the special has aired on CBS; the network unveiled a high-definition, digitally remastered version of the program in 2005.
Trailer: https://youtu.be/V87fsP5B05k
Connect with us!
- Join Team Zen
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Buy Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Time Stamps
Resources
Todd and Cathy offer 8 suggestions to make the holiday season more connective and less overwhelming. They discuss how to set boundaries, deal with grief, and find ways to limit social media and say no. They also discuss their new Team Zen app and the exclusive podcasts that will be shared on January 10th.
Connect with us!
- Join Team Zen
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Buy Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Pinna is the only audio on-demand streaming service for kids 3-12! Enter the coupon code “ZPR” for one year of Pinna for 50% off
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Time Stamps
5:59 Set boundaries
13:45 Be less surprised
19:11 Focus on control
27:24 Say no
28:13 Pinna is the only audio on-demand streaming service for kids 3-12! Enter the coupon code “ZPR” for one year of Pinna for 50% off
30:52 Limit social media
33:34 Prioritize sleep
47:33 Know your #1 priority
Resources
Control PDF from the Conscious Leadership Group
Todd and Cathy discuss their experience with the documentary Stutz by Jonah Hill and why developing life force energy is the first step toward any problem. They also discuss the importance of seeing clearly, how to deal with Part X, and why the movie Apollo 13 was an invitation to see and understand each other better.
Connect with us!
- Tuesday, December 6th 12:00 PM Central Glenbard Parenting Series featuring Cathy
- Tuesday, December 6th 7:00 PM Central Glenbard Parenting Series featuring Cathy
- Join Team Zen
- Guys- Complete a MenLiving Connect profile
- Stutz: A Documentary
- Subscribe to Cathy’s weekly Zen Parenting Moment
- Buy Cathy’s Book Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and Our Children in an Unpredictable World
- Find everything ZPR on our Resources Page
This week’s sponsor(s):
- Pinna is the only audio on-demand streaming service for kids 3-12! Enter the coupon code “ZPR” for one year of Pinna for 50% off
- Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
- MenLiving – A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
- Todd Adams Life & Leadership Coaching for Guys
Time Stamps
4:32 “Share” Zen Parenting Moment
12:54 Possibility & Perspective
26:54 Life Force
27:49 Pinna is the only audio on-demand streaming service for kids 3-12! Enter the coupon code “ZPR” for one year of Pinna for 50% off
41:08 Part X
Todd and Cathy discuss how and why our kids trigger us, and how to lessen our reactivity and reframe our experiences. They also discuss the importance of gratitude and why we should learn to ride the waves and roll with the changes.
Todd and Cathy discuss Michael Singer’s The Untethered Soul, specifically what it means to manage our “thorns” or inner pain that we react to our do our best to avoid. They discuss the paradoxical nature of life and uncertainty, and how our goal is to manage discomfort, not runaway or avoid. They share some of their mindfulness tools and a new definition of enlightenment.
Cathy and Todd discuss how to help our kids discover intrinsic motivation (internally motivated because it feels good and right) instead of extrinsic motivation (external rewards such as grades, praise, fame). They also discuss MenConnect, a solution to the epidemic of lonely men, and how to make mornings calmer and more collaborative.
Todd and Cathy do a deep dive into the five essential parenting practices that Cathy shared in her Zen Parenting Moment Newsletter last Friday. They share how these practices create connection and meaning in the home and beyond.
Todd and Cathy do a deep dive into the five essential parenting practices that Cathy shared in her Zen Parenting Moment Newsletter last Friday. They share how these practices create connection and meaning in the home and beyond.
Todd and Cathy do a deep dive into the five essential parenting practices that Cathy shared in her Zen Parenting Moment Newsletter last Friday. They share how these practices create connection and meaning in the home and beyond.
Cathy and Todd discuss the importance of teaching both values AND safety, and why they work together to create an optimal environment for you kids. They also discuss the top 15 best parenting role models from pop culture and what made them so successful (a few are debatable…).
Cathy and Todd discuss the importance of teaching both values AND safety, and why they work together to create an optimal environment for you kids. They also discuss the top 15 best parenting role models from pop culture and what made them so successful (a few are debatable…).
Cathy and Todd discuss the importance of teaching both values AND safety, and why they work together to create an optimal environment for you kids. They also discuss the top 15 best parenting role models from pop culture and what made them so successful (a few are debatable…).
Cathy and Todd discuss taking responsibility without blaming ourselves for everything that happens. They discuss how certain self-help books, groups, and cults have the power to convince people that they are “at cause” for everything that happens, negating how outside influences also play a role in eventual outcomes. They discuss the difference between reaction and response, why emotions like anger and envy can be helpful, and of course, Taylor Swift’s new album, Midnights.
Cathy and Todd discuss codependency, enmeshment, overidentification, and other issues that can be layered and difficult to define. They share the importance of learning to say no, why boundaries are important in every relationship, and how paying attention and questioning can become a daily habit.
Todd and Cathy are interviewed by their friend Dr. Alexandra Solomon. She ask them about how they met, their history, and the trials and tribulations of their couple hood.
Todd and Cathy discuss John & Julie Gottman’s research around “bids for connection”, specifically how couples who acknowledge each other’s bids 86% of the time stay married and connected. They also discuss how music and pop culture helps us connect to our kids, and why acknowledging each other’s texts makes a big difference.
Todd and Cathy discuss the practice of gratitude (specifically how to notice, savor, and express) and how it helps the brain pay attention to what’s working. They discuss the four noble truths, appreciating people’s quirks, and songs named after the bands that sing them.
Todd and Cathy discuss the practice of gratitude (specifically how to notice, savor, and express) and how it helps the brain pay attention to what’s working. They discuss the four noble truths, appreciating people’s quirks, and songs named after the bands that sing them.
Cathy and Todd discuss the wisdom of anxiety and why it’s a messaging system that reminds us to stay curious about ourselves and our loved ones. They process the difference between relieving and numbing anxiety, and how “healing” anxiety can involve getting to the core of our unconscious concerns and worries.
Cathy and Todd talk with Sarah Edmonson and Anthony “Nippy” Ames from A Little Bit Culty Podcast and HBO’s Documentary The Vow. They discuss how we can recognize cultish influence all around us - in the way we use language and jargon, in our communities and groups, and of course, our politics -- none of us are completely immune to it. Those of us who consider ourselves seekers – or those of us who consider ourselves teachers, coaches, or healers – can pay attention to how power can distort, how a certain status, belief or community can make us feel more special than others. As parents we need to talk to our kids about this, how a relationship can initially feel good, but then become abusive, how we can slowly be pulled into something that initially feels cool, but then becomes uncomfortable – and most important, how we can teach our kids to question what doesn’t feel right, ask for help, and build a relationship with them where they know we are available to listen and support. Cathy shares how important Sarah and Nippy have been in her life, and how their decisions and dedication to help others continues to be inspiring.
Cathy and Todd discuss several conversations that were prompted by the We Can Do Hard Things podcast titled “Why are there no pictures of us?!?!”. They share how they communicate through nuanced and challenging conversations, and how to speak up while also respecting your partner’s perspective. They offer examples of difficult discussions and what lives underneath the discomfort.
Cathy and Todd discuss several conversations that were prompted by the We Can Do Hard Things podcast titled “Why are there no pictures of us?!?!”. They share how they communicate through nuanced and challenging conversations, and how to speak up while also respecting your partner’s perspective. They offer examples of difficult discussions and what lives underneath the discomfort.
Todd and Cathy discuss the grief and joy of back to school, and why they are memorable moments in time. Todd helps Cathy process through why this time of year is especially hard, and they discuss all the personas and running tapes that live inside of us and want to be heard. They also discuss why it’s important to be gentle with ourselves and how doing our “best” can mean something different every day.
Todd and Cathy discuss why it’s important for dads to practice feeling so their kids come to them with their pain and big emotions. They discuss why dads think moms are just “better” at feeling, and how kids can develop a trusted relationship, regardless of gender, if they feel seen and heard. They also discuss the importance of integrity and how we can use baseball stats to better understand our parenting.
Cathy and Todd discuss Adam Grant’s research around why humans are fascinating, especially when it comes to parenting and partnership. They also discuss why optimism is essential and the beer-drinking games people play.
Cathy and Todd discuss how to “practice” peace through embracing our anger and how gender can play a role in how we experience anger. They also discuss how they differ in their driving choices and how making decisions that make you feel peaceful are the best approach.
Todd and Cathy talked with Dr. Dan Peters, psychologist, author, and host of the Parent Footprint Podcast. They discussed the difference between anxiety, fear, and worry, how to identify “paper” tigers, and how to talk to our kids about real world threats and safety.
Cathy and Todd discuss the truth about suffering (or life is suffering) which is #1 of The Four Noble Truths. They discuss how this truth is so easily misinterpreted and how it actually offers deep wisdom and relief. They use several analogies and metaphors to make their point (some better than others…) and recognize the resilience and hope that lives at the heart of our experiences.
Todd and Cathy discuss focusing on the little things to find joy, especially finding a sense of community and paying attention to nature. They discuss how to “do hard better”, how to take care of ourselves during difficult times, and the genuine and warm nature of Jeff Bridges
Todd and Cathy discuss how to get in touch with our essential humanity to navigate difficult times. They talk about getting up again and again, specifically how to pay attention, make a difference, and focus on what matters most. They also discuss Tom Cruise movies, Stranger Things, Mythology, and finding joy in what inspires us.
Cathy and Todd discuss the impact of the overturn of Roe V Wade, finding joy through the sadness, and how we can show up during difficult times. We also mention this blog by Adam Grant titled How to Argue about Abortion
Cathy & Todd discuss how paradoxical emotions are common and normal, and how we can accept rather than avoid our emotional experiences. They discuss why experiencing uncomfortable emotions are not a failure or an inability to keep our inner impulses in check, but rather the way we experience the normal ups and downs of life. They also debate whether the person grilling has the most power and how Chicago baseball is going.
Todd & Cathy are joined by two of their daughters (Camryn, 17 & Skylar, 14) to discuss Season 4, Volume 1 of Stranger Things. They discuss how the season was influenced by horror movies from the 80’s (Carrie, The Amityville Horror, A Nightmare on Elm Street to name a few….) plus other fan favorites from Generation X (Star Wars, War Games, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, etc). They each choose a song to help them run away from Vecna, process the show’s best characters, and share their hottest takes from this season and what comes next.
Cathy and Todd talk with actor, comedian, and author Michael Ian Black (The State, Wet Hot American Summer, Inside Amy Schumer, The Baxter) about his book A Better Man: A (Mostly Serious) Letter to My Son. They discuss healthy masculinity, why language keeps us from understanding each other, and how communication and empathy can keep us connected to ourselves and our kids.
Todd and Cathy discuss common sense gun laws that can make a difference, and discuss the work that Moms Demand Action and Founder Shannon Watts have done and are doing. They discuss how optimism is the recognition that something can be done, and also how taking care of yourself and taking breaks from the news are part of the process. They also discuss Cathy’s latest Zen Parenting Moment about Stranger Things and Kate Bush, and her recent interview with Lewis Howes on The School of Greatness Podcast.
Todd and Cathy talk with Ben Feller, former AP White House reporter under George W Bush and Barack Obama, and now author of Big Problems, Little Problems, a story of how a dad teaches his son to solve the daily challenges of life. They discuss priorities, lessons from our children, what it’s like to work in the White House, the state of journalism, and also debate their favorite journalism movies (Michael Keaton happens to be in two of them….)
Cathy and Todd process what “every day is a good day” actually means, and how to recognize the challenges of the world and also take care of ourselves in our day to day lives. They also discuss disenfranchised grief (when your grieving doesn't fit in with your larger society's attitude about dealing with death and loss) and how to recognize and process what hurts, even if others can’t relate.
Buy Cathy's Book Zen Parenting Radio Thursday, June 9th @ 7:30 Central MenLiving Tri-faith Panel Watch this podcast on Vimeo here
Time Stamp
5:50 Defining the problem
16:40 Mental health crisis
23:40 Priorities as it relates the money
24:58 Women’s issues
39:02The happiness gap
42:20 three t’s- tuning in, talking more, taking turns
57:34 Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration.
1:01:48 MenLiving - A virtual and in-person community of guys connecting deeply and living fully. No requirements, no creeds, no gurus, no judgements
All things ZPR can be found on our Resources Page
This week’s sponsor(s):
Avid Co DuPage County Area Decorating, Painting, Remodeling by Avid Co includes kitchens, basements, bathrooms, flooring, tiling, fire and flood restoration. Resources Parent Nation
Cathy and Todd discuss why a wider perspective (instead of a personal narrative) is needed when we talk about the potential overturning of Roe v Wade and reproductive rights. They discuss why having proximity and understanding of other people’s experiences can develop our compassion and desire to support rather than harm. They process how in the end we all want the same things (love, family, wellness), but we tend to turn on each other instead of band together in establishing a collective good.
We talk with Debi Lewis, author of Kitchen Medicine: How I Fed My Daughter Out of Failure to Thrive about feeding her child who struggled to eat. Her memoir shares how she learned to love food, navigate a complex medical system, deal with diet culture, and advocate for her family.
Todd and Cathy discuss the meaning of nostalgia (as discussed in Atlas of the Heart) and share how it effects our parenting, politics, and perspective. They discuss Senator Mallory McMorrow’s speech from last week, and the difference between fitting in and true belonging.
Cathy and Todd discuss Susan Cain’s new book, Bittersweet, and also Brenè Brown’s Atlas of the Heart TV series on HBO Max. They discuss what bittersweet looks and feels like, and why it can offer a more accurate depiction of reality. They discuss bittersweet experiences, music, and why sad songs make us happy.
We talk with Kaley & Nate Klemp, authors of The 80/80 Marriage: A New Model for a Happier, Stronger Relationship. We discuss invisible labor, fairness, compassion, and what to do if one partner is reluctant to make a change.
Todd and Cathy discuss prioritizing mental and emotional well-being above all other things. School, sports, and other issues can still be expectations, but during this time of elevated teen anxiety and depression, we can focus on the most important thing which is their emotional health. They also discuss Lady Gaga and Liza Minnelli’s Oscar moment, and Cathy’s Zen Mother’s Day Event, A Virtual and Free Discussion, on Friday, May 6 and the the MenLiving Special Guest Event featuring Kim Redding discussing infidelity and shame.
Cathy and Todd discuss the cyclical nature of abuse and how to recognize red flags and help our kids recognize them, too. They discuss Evan Rachel Wood’s documentary, Phoenix Rising about her history with Marilyn Manson, and how other documentaries and even personal stories have similar patterns and experiences. They discuss how to notice and create a conversation around grooming, love bombing, gaslighting, and isolation so we can help our kids develop healthy boundaries and recognize when they are being manipulated.
Cathy and Todd discuss the cyclical nature of abuse and how to recognize red flags and help our kids recognize them, too. They discuss Evan Rachel Wood’s documentary, Phoenix Rising about her history with Marilyn Manson, and how other documentaries and even personal stories have similar patterns and experiences. They discuss how to notice and create a conversation around grooming, love bombing, gaslighting, and isolation so we can help our kids develop healthy boundaries and recognize when they are being manipulated.
Todd and Cathy discuss why it’s necessary to regroup (especially when we are hit with bad news most days) and how regrouping is just like the tide going in and out – sometimes we go all in, and then we recede – repeat. They discuss how to practice devotion, the work of Gabor Matè, and taking a wider view when it comes to Ukraine, “Don’t Say Gay”, and other challenging events.
Todd and Cathy discuss the lessons from the longest study about happiness from the Harvard Study on Adult Development. They discuss Steven Pinker’s data about the world getting better, and what Bill Gates and Warren Buffet both recommend for a happy life.
Todd and Cathy discuss managing so many difficult things at one, and how the grief process is a way to understand and manage pain. They discuss Ukraine, Dopesick and Michael Keaton’s acceptance speech, and the everyday experiences in our homes, lives, and abroad that force us to wake up to what’s important.
Cathy and Todd discuss how Zen Parenting Radio started and play a clip or two from their first podcast (11 years ago!). They discuss what they’ve learned, their most humbling experiences, and then share the prologue from Cathy’s audiobook (also titled Where It All Began).
Todd and Cathy discuss how to approach our children when they are struggling – do we give them space, keep showing up, or both? They discuss the importance of paying attention to our inner workings so we can role model what this looks like for our kids, and they offer guidance on how to develop our emotional literacy so we can pay closer attention to how we feel.
Todd and Cathy discuss conversational dynamics and how we can pay better attention when talking to our kids or partner. They also share why human behavior is similar to financial markets, and why bands have so many farewell tours.
Todd and Cathy discuss chapter 5 "The Right to Speak and Hear Truth" of Cathy's new book : Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and our Children in an Unpredictable world. Topics covered: self expression, the art of communication, words are things, heard and understood, learning differences
Todd and Cathy discuss chapter 4 "The Right to Love and Be Loved" of Cathy's new book : Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and our Children in an Unpredictable world. Topics covered: Open heartedness, empathy, self-compassion, breathing, grief
Todd and Cathy discuss chapter 3 "The Right To Act" of Cathy's new book : Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and our Children in an Unpredictable world. Topics covered: Autonomy and the hero’s journey, Individuation, Self-care, Energy, True and false self
Todd and Cathy discuss chapter 2 "The Right to Feel" of Cathy's new book: Zen Parenting: Caring for Ourselves and our Children in an Unpredictable world. Topics covered: Pleasure, emotional intelligence, creativity and play, and sexuality.
Todd and Cathy discuss chapter 1 "The Right to Be" Topics include: Body foundation, root to rise, physical and emotional safety, survival and connection, and reestablishing our roots.
Cathy and Todd take a deep dive into Thich Nhat Hanh quotes (the Zen Buddhist monk/teacher who died last week at 95), and also discuss human archetypes and why we show up the way we do. They also discuss the importance of children’s individuation and why female monkeys are ready to lead their barrel.
Todd and Cathy discuss some quotes from Adam Grant, Author of Think Again, and why rethinking our beliefs leads to a wider perspective and a more compassionate viewpoint. They also discuss why allowing our kids to have different beliefs and perspectives allows them to “individuate” or find their own sense of self.
Todd and Cathy discuss how we ask our kids to be responsible for themselves, but we also encourage them to ask for help. They process how to help our kids discern between the two requests, and how we can be more clear about our expectations. They also share some clips from the upcoming Zen Parenting Summit and how mindfulness and meditation are related.
Cathy and Todd offer the case for optimism (but don’t worry, it’s not toxic positivity…). They share some actual good news and why we are stronger and more resilient than we think.
Cathy and Todd discuss the road to wellness and why shame, judgment, anxiety, and hope all play a role. They also discuss why asking for help is so essential, and why asking for help is an act of bravery and strength. They discuss what it means to be a strength-based parent and play a clip from Lea Waters, author of The Strength Switch. Todd plays a clip from the TED Talk podcast about how people with less money actually give more to those in need, and how exposure and empathy are the keys to greater giving.
Cathy and Todd discuss hypervigilance, or the elevated state of constantly assessing potential threats. They discuss how our uncertain and ever-changing world can create this, or how some of us learned it in childhood. They also discuss the mental wellness of our kids and how we can talk to them about self-care and staying hopeful.
Todd+Cathy talk with coach and author Annmarie Chereso about recovering from infidelity, the process of self-awareness, and the importance of forgiveness. They discuss how we can notice our attachments and live with more presence and compassion.
Todd and Cathy discuss being flexible with how we see ourselves, our interactions, and our past experiences. They share how we can be realistic and optimistic, and how we can reframe challenges to benefit our future selves.
Todd and Cathy discuss being flexible with how we see ourselves, our interactions, and our past experiences. They share how we can be realistic and optimistic, and how we can reframe challenges to benefit our future selves.
Todd and Cathy discuss dysregulation and how it relates to self-awareness, social awareness, and our relationships overall. They discuss how when we yell, storm out, or lash out during a meeting, conversation, or even online it’s an indicator of dysregulation. They process how to become more aware, find calm, and act in congruence with our values.
Cathy and Todd discuss how feelings are physical body-based sensations and how thoughts are mental constructs like beliefs, opinions, and judgements. They discuss the definition of trauma and how to recognize and respect our shadow.
Cathy and Todd discuss the paradox of suffering, how it can be viewed as negative, important, as a path to awareness, and also as a way of staying stuck. They discuss why people run marathons, why and how we grieve, and how make exhaustion and productivity a status symbol.
Todd and Cathy discuss why we sometimes need to disappoint others so we don’t disappoint ourselves, and how we need to stay curious and open when it comes to connecting with our children. They discuss the writing of Thomas Merton, Anne Lamott, and Mary Oliver, and share why doing enough and doing more is always a work in progress.
Todd and Cathy discuss cognitive distortions, or habitual ways of thinking that are often inaccurate and negatively biased. They discuss how addressing these distortions are at the heart of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). They also share their favorite scary shows for spooky season and why it’s best to not work through other people’s problems.
Cathy and Todd discuss how “loading the language” and using jargon can be purposeful in building community, but can also veer toward excluding and feeling more “special” than others. They discuss how certain wellness communities, organizations, and workout facilities can feel “cult-ish” and how personal agency and individual integrity are essential in staying grounded.
Cathy and Todd discuss why order, disorder, reorder is a natural parental rhythm, and why getting out of rhythm is an opportunity for new learning. They also discuss why not knowing what comes next keeps us human nd why it’s OK to not be good at everything.
Todd and Cathy talk with Jayson Gaddis about his new book Getting to Zero, and how to manage conflict in our most important relationships (partnership, parenting, even work!). Todd & Cathy walk through a few of their challenges and Jayson offers reframes & considerations that focus on compassion toward ourselves & each other. Available today!
Cathy & Todd discuss why difficult conversations are necessary and allow for deeper connection and intimacy. They also answer a listener question about how to talk to our young teens about relationships and sex.
Todd and Cathy talk to Rob Bell about his new Everything is Spiritual Tour and how our creative impulses and willingness to speak up keep us true and connected.
Cathy and Todd discuss Cathy’s book (now available for preorder, available everywhere 2/1/22) and the process of condensing 10 years of podcasts, 20 years of clinical practice, and 50 years of living into one book.
Todd and Cathy discuss an episode of We Can Do Hard Things and the difference between feeling deeply and feeling cognitively. They discuss how each style has its benefits, and why the blend of both can help us take action and create change.
Cathy and Todd discuss the new Texas law that strips women of their privacy, their dignity, and their physical and mental health.
Cathy and Todd discuss how to declutter our parenting minds so we can really be with the child who is in front of us. They discuss how parenting is rollercoaster, how life is a toggle between fear and joy, and how life is not a linear journey like a train, it’s a sailboat ride filled with adventure.
Todd & Cathy discuss the difference between saying “I have anxiety” and “I feel anxiety” and the difference between anxiety and fear. They also discuss three different stress responses in kids and how we can better support them when they are feeling overwhelmed.
Cathy & Todd discuss self-betrayal, taking breaks, and how to share our opinion while respecting the inherent dignity of others. They discuss how to keep going when we feel stuck and the pillars we can rely on in the midst of a crisis.
Todd and Cathy discuss shifting from summer into school year, and why it can feel anxiety provoking. They also discuss how we can better understand our worry, and how we can help our children find balance this year.
Cathy and Todd discuss how similar anxiety and excitement feel, and how we can channel the negative arousal of anxiety into a motivating experience of excitement. They also discuss Simone Biles’ decision to make her mental wellness a priority, and why rejection carries wisdom if we are willing to examine our experiences.
Cathy + Todd discuss Dr. John Duffy’s recent CNN article, Your tweens and teens are lonely – and they want your help. They share why our kids may be pretending to be okay when they are not, and how we can stay connected and engaged even when our kids seem to be pulling away.
Todd and Cathy discuss how to allow for difficult emotions while releasing judgment, shame, or fear about how we are feeling. They also discuss why labeling ourselves can be counterproductive and what it means to feel sparkle and terror.
Todd and Cathy discuss the strengths of Highly Sensitive People and how these traits can be understood and utilized to navigate parenting and partnership. They also discuss why the brain can remember every word from an 80’s song but it can can’t come up with a simple word like “mailbox”.
Cathy & Todd discuss offering and receiving feedback from our children and why it’s important to stay curious rather than defensive. They discuss how parents say that “their kids can tell them anything”, but how kids don’t always feel this way due to poor communication and overreaction.
Cathy and Todd discuss Chatter: The Voice in our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It by Ethan Cross and how our capacity for introspection can morph into a cycle of negative thinking. They discuss some of his suggested tools for self-regulation and real-world examples of taming our inner voice.
Todd and Cathy discuss a Freakanomics interview with Angela Duckworth about self-esteem, and what it takes to raise children who feel empowered. They also discuss how we can find meaning in our experiences, and the difference between heeding and exceeding limits.
Todd and Cathy discuss Najwa Zebian’s book, Welcome Home, and how we can find a home inside ourselves instead of searching for home in other people. They also discuss the concept of “praxis” which means turning theory into practice and then reflection. They celebrate Pride month and share why all people (especially parents) need to become competent and educated allies for the LGBTQ+ community.
Todd and Cathy discuss Ethan Hawke’s TED talk about creativity and why what we love is our offering to the world. They discuss why creativity matters and how offering and receiving sustains us. They share how creativity effects our relationships and parenting, and how we are either “jackhammers” or “hummingbirds”.
Cathy and Todd discuss Adam Grant’s article about languishing (the middle place between thriving and depression) and Rob Bell’s podcast about discomfort and “upgrading”. The process how word usage plays a role in our motivation and why doing nothing is an important something.
Cathy and Todd discuss graduation season and why it's both beautiful and difficult. They discuss the importance of recognizing Mental Health Awareness Month and what Oprah & Prince Harry's show, The Me You Can't See, teaches us about internal vs external success.
Todd and Cathy discuss what they’ve learned over 10 years and 600 episodes of Zen Parenting Radio, and they describe what Zen Parenting means to them (Cathy’s book titled Zen Parenting comes out in 2/22). They also discuss why the perseverance to do something different demonstrates grit, and why Gen Z calls certain millennials “cheugy” (pronounced chew-gee).
Cathy and Todd revisit Greg McKeown’s book Essentialism and why now is an important time to reconsider priorities and focus energy on what really matters. They discuss why deciding what’s essential makes us more content and ironically more productive in the long run.
Todd and Cathy discuss how like rocks in water, we were flooded with information, challenge, and uncertainty in 2020. 2021 is about focusing on our mental wellness and recognizing how like rocks in water, we have been changed and reshaped by difficult times. In Kruti Joshi’s words, The most beautiful rocks have faced the hardest waves.
Cathy and Todd discuss Esther Perel’s 5 interventions and how they can help us cope with uncertainty and grief. They also discuss why the only way out is through, and how looking for the bright side too early can be a form of spiritual bypassing.
Cathy and Todd discuss “invisible” situations (such as being neurodivergent, anxious, have migraines or an autoimmune disorder) and why we are sometimes not “believed” when we try to explain our challenges or differences (this comes from Julie Lythcott-Haims new book, Your Turn: How to Be an Adult, in the chapter about self-care). They also discuss how our attention creates our reality, and why knowing what brings our life meaning is an essential step toward contentment.
Todd and Cathy discuss fear, The Golden Girls, and we interview Mercedes Samudio of Shame Proof Parenting where she discusses EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)
Todd and Cathy discuss this transitional time and why we need to be compassionate with ourselves as we gently and slowly return to a more pre-covid way of living. They discuss why transitions are difficult and how grief plays a role, and why we should rely on compassion, curiosity, mindfulness, and connection to get us through.
Cathy and Todd discuss the natural waves of life, and how we have to appreciate the good moments and also move through the hard times. They discuss the importance of asking for help and setting boundaries when in the midst of a crisis, and why Brene Brown says the most compassionate people are also the most boundaried.
Cathy and Todd talk with Soraya Chemaly, author of Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women’s Anger and Executive Director of The Representation Project. They discuss the importance of emotional competence, how to discuss gender inequality with our kids, and why we should pay attention to our own gender conditioning.
This podcast dates back to May of 2017, but is one of our favorites. Todd and Cathy discuss why “figuring out” our partner will cause frustration, but why staying present with every new experience will create intimacy. They use a post from fellow coach Jayson Gaddis They discuss why it’s important to ride the waves with your partner rather than trying to control their emotional expression, and why unpredictability can be just as connecting as predictability. They share a recent miscommunication, explain why labeling family members is detrimental, and practice saying toy boat really fast without messing up.
Cathy and Todd discuss Oprah’s interview with Meghan and Harry and how it relates to boundaries, freedom, and our unconscious internalized beliefs about women. They also discuss International Women’s Day and the obstacles women confront when they embody empowerment.
Cathy and Todd kick-off boundaries month by discussing internal boundaries and the clinical understanding of family enmeshment. They discuss how we take on other people’s emotions, why it’s hard for us to be happy if the ones we love aren’t happy, and how to take care of ourselves while we take care of others.
We talk with our daughter Jacey who identifies as gay, her friend Grace who identifies as bi-sexual, and her friend Edgar who identifies as gay. They share their coming out stories, family reactions, and experiences that have been helpful and harmful. They discuss how to be an ally and advocate for the LGBTQ+ community and how to support your kids when it comes to embracing and understanding sexuality.
Todd and Cathy discuss Creativity and Balance, Part 3 of Empathy Volume Month. They discuss ideas and tools to take care of ourselves during uncertain times, and how to bring balance to our self-care and relationships.
Todd and Cathy continue their discussion about empathy volume and focus on how to turn down empathy to avoid burnout. They discuss the 3 types of empathy and how we can remain empathetic without exhausting ourselves. They also discuss Adam Grant’s new book Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know and how our ability to be “cognitively agile” keeps us curious and connected to the ones we love.
Todd+Cathy discuss mindful caring as a kick off to their “Empathy Volume” month (how to turn it up and stay connected, how to turn it down to avoid burnout). They share three ways to make empathy a priority, and how having clear intention about what means the most impacts how you show up. They also discuss Dr. Robert Livingston’s new book about racism and bias called The Conversation, and how two-hit wonders are a real thing.
Cathy and Todd discuss the “messages and arrows” of our emotions, specifically that they give us the information we need to understand ourselves and teach our kids. Every feeling has an underlying reason, and the more we understand our emotional messages the easier we will see the arrows that point to what matters most. They share that February is “Empathy Volume” Month (Turning empathy up to stay connected, turning empathy down to avoid burnout). Listen to this month’s Zen Parenting Radio podcasts and join Team Zen for an in-depth discussion around empathy volume filled with resources, practices, and community (use coupon code Team Zen for one free month).
Cathy and Todd discuss how accountability leads to unity, and how impunity or justifying something deeply harmful leads to more divisiveness, not healing. They discuss how this is true with our government and the insurrection, and also when we have challenges in our partnerships, parenting, and friendships. Forgiveness is what we do for ourselves, not others, and comes after a process and practice of realizing that we can’t change what happened (it often takes a great deal of time). Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation, condoning a person’s behavior, justifying the offense, or denying or forgetting the impact on our lives. It means cutting the cord and taking back the energy that is rightfully ours while never forgetting the wisdom we gained.
Todd and Cathy continue their discussion about how and why we grow and share specific colors that represent our stages of development (often referred to as spiral dynamics). They discuss how this effects politics, values, “fake news”, sports, leadership, and our need to belong.
Cathy and Todd discuss the question that they hear the most – “How can I get my partner to….” – they discuss why this question is multi-layered, messy, and not easily answered. They discuss why wanting to change others feels easier than changing ourselves, why true wisdom comes from quiet, and the life-changing advice Oprah has for all people.
Cathy and Todd focus on Me, We, and Everybody, a teaching of moral development (or Spiral Dynamics) taken from The Robcast. They share why this personal growth model (similar to understanding the chakras or the Enneagram) helps us see ourselves, relate to others, and understand how we all evolve (and regress) in different ways.
Todd and Cathy discuss 1964’s Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and why the adults dropped the ball in helping Hermy and Rudolph understand their specialness – BUT, it’s still a great holiday rewatch filled with joy, learning, and nostalgia.
Cathy and Todd reference a recent post by Dr. Alexandra Solomon about how we are doing a better job raising our girls to be leaders than raising our sons to be caregivers. They discuss how to raise whole sons who respect every aspect of their humanity, and how failing to do this hurts our boys and society. They also discuss the opinion writer who wants Dr. Jill Biden to drop “Dr.”, what Shawn Mendes can teach us, and how to talk about invisible labor in the home.
Todd and Cathy discuss the difference between a “bottler” or “brooder” when it comes to negative feelings, and why being curious about feelings allows us to be less reactive and more compassionate. They discuss why darkness is not always bad, and why there is wisdom inside all of our emotions.
Cathy and Todd discuss Susan David’s book and TED Talk about emotional agility and why the ability to be agile leads to healthy human beings. They discuss why we need the skills to deal with the world as it is, and why sharing our emotions allows us to pay attention to our values and notice what’s working in our lives and families.
Todd and Cathy discuss the double bind of “do no harm”, in that all decisions, even educated and well-thought out choices, may impact some negatively. They discuss the positive impact of empathy and the danger of gaslighting, and share Anne Lamott’s theories around hatred and self-understanding.
Cathy interviews Todd, Frank Naugo, & Shaun Emerson discussing the relaunch from the Tribe Men's Group over to Men Living. They discuss the resources available that will help men step up to make a more harmonious world.
Cathy and Todd discuss how the election has provided a more sturdy foundation to rebuild trust, beauty, and a sense of self and community. They discuss how we can continue to do small acts of kindness, continue our activism, and remember to “sing while filled with our dreams and troubles”.
Todd and Cathy discuss getting through difficult and vulnerable moments (like election day) and how self-compassion and mindfulness are key. They discuss coping mechanisms versus escapism, how to effectively breathe, and why we should check-in on our strong friends.
Cathy and Todd discuss Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and how Ezra Klein’s article in Vox used Maslow’s work to explain the importance of next week’s election. They discuss the importance of the election, what’s at stake, and why we need to remember our dignity, humanity, and interconnectedness as we move through this week and into 2021.
Cathy and Todd discuss Emily and Amelia Nagoski’s book Burnout, and how we can better process and release the stress we experience. They discuss their interview on the Unlocking Us podcast with Brene Brown, and the seven things we can do to make a difference in our overall well-being. They also discuss why women experience stress differently than men, and why rest, human connection, and befriending your inner critic are tools for healthier living.
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Cathy+Todd discuss Cathy’s recent Zen Parenting Moment about how to guide our children with humility, and why spiritual narcissism can lead us to believe we have all of the answers. They discuss the HBO documentary The Vow and why in all situations we need to stay connected to our own inner knowing.
Relationship expert Dr. Alexandra Solomon join Cathy and Todd to discuss why dominance isn’t strength when it comes to politics, partnership, and parenting, and why last week’s debate was so difficult to watch. They discuss the necessary breakthroughs for a successful marriage, and what it means to hold space for someone we love.
Cathy and Todd talk with Rosalind Wiseman (Founder of Cultures of Dignity and author of Queen Bees and Wannabees) about her new book The Distance Learning Playbook for Parents and her “Tiny Guides” to help you quickly comprehend core social and emotional concepts.
Cathy and Todd discuss losing RBG and why we have to practice what she taught us rather than decide all is lost. They discuss how we can grieve and also be strong, be afraid but also find joy. They discuss the importance of mindfulness and share Author Michael Singer’s description of a strong heart.
Todd and Cathy discuss NFL player Dak Prescott’s willingness to discuss depression and why there was backlash. They process the yin and yang of emotions and why challenge makes us stronger, not weaker. They also discuss whether vulnerable pictures of our kids should be posted on social networking, and how the Japanese art of Kintsugi is a visual representation of falling apart and piecing ourselves back together more beautifully.
Jacey, Camryn, and Skylar join Cathy and Todd to discuss the 2020 school year. They discuss the pros and cons of remote and hybrid learning, and why our educational goals from 2019 should not be our focus in 2020. They girls discuss what they’ve learned about themselves and education since the lockdown.
Todd and Cathy discuss what it means to find personal alignment rather than what our society calls “success”. They reference the 4 Noble Truths, Mel Robbins, Eckhart Tolle, the 8-fold path, To Kill a Mockingbird, the power of intuition, and how scientists estimate the probability of your being born at about one in 400 trillion. They also discuss the shocking death of Chadwick Boseman, and Cathy’s new book deal. Zen Parenting, the book, will be coming out next year!
Cathy and Todd discuss how to see this school year differently and how to accept and reframe our experiences. They discuss how figuring out something new will take time and patience (and self-care), and how children will learn a lot about self-regulation and how to go with the flow in a new system of learning.
Todd and Cathy discuss intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation for kids, and discuss the harm of unachievable success in the documentary The Weight of Gold (about Olympic athletes) and The Go Go’s documentary (about the rise and fall of the band). They also discuss the true and false self, and the “Three Lords of Materialism” (coined by Chögyam Trungpa in his book Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism) and how they relate to our perception of success and motivation.
Cathy and Todd discuss why understanding ambiguous loss, the dignity of others, and the humanity of teachers is essential as we navigate a back to school plan. This uncertain time necessitates reflective and respectful discourse, and a reminder that our kids are looking to us as role models in how to respond to a difficult and unprecedented event.
Cathy and Todd discuss managing screen time by investigating the Eightfold Path (8 practices that serve as a framework in Buddhist philosophy). The practice can help us relate to screen time (and everything else) differently and shift how we relate to our children when it comes to technology. #2 of a two-part series.
Cathy and Todd discuss managing screen time by investigating the Eightfold Path (8 practices that serve as a framework in Buddhist philosophy). The practice can help us relate to screen time (and everything else) differently and shift how we relate to our children when it comes to technology. #1 of a two-part series.
Cathy and Todd discuss John Oliver's Last Week Tonight episode about conspiracy theories, and share the psychology behind why people believe tend to believe them. We also discuss how to have productive conversations with people who share and promote harmful pandemic theories.
Cathy and Todd discuss why building a strong foundation can get us through difficultly and uncertainty, and help us recognize what’s most important in crisis and calmer times. They share what a “strong foundation” looks like and why it’s an everyday practice. They discuss Eckhart Tolle, Richard Rohr, and why dark helps us understand the light (and vice versa).
Todd and Cathy discuss why connection necessitates letting go of needing and focusing more on understanding. They share a story of connecting with their daughter and why knowing her well was the key to engagement.
Cathy and Todd discuss the Zen parable about the monkey in the river and why it teaches us to find the aliveness of every moment, even if we are afraid or uncertain. They offer examples and analogies from The Karate Kid, Parenthood, Dead Poets Society and even High School Musical. They also discuss the importance of staying educated and continuing to integrate discussions about race into our parenting, and why we need to WEAR MASKS and demonstrate our care for each other and our communities.
Cathy and Todd discuss how self-care is about building a life that you don’t need to escape from – by speaking up, asking for what you need, resting, and interacting with integrity. They discuss how we can practice this in partnership and parenting, and when we are discussing and learning about difficult issues like race. They also discuss what makes a great song and share some of their picks.
Cathy and Todd discuss how self-awareness, vulnerability, and a willingness to listen upfront lead to authentic and connected conversations later. They discuss how this applies to race discussions, partnership, and parenting, and how cognitive dissonance and whataboutism get in the way of meaningful and productive communication. They reference So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo, Brene Brown’s podcast with the Duplass brothers, and White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo.
Cathy and Todd discuss how spiritual bypassing (the use of spiritual practices and beliefs to avoid dealing with our painful feelings) can run counter to being a listener and learner when it comes to race. They discuss how spiritual bypassing has become normalized and separates us from the issues we need to work through when it comes to social justice, partnerships, parenting, or our own growth and development.
Todd and Cathy discuss the protests and why self-awareness and being a student are essential when talking about race. They share who they learn from, why we need to speak up, and why dismantling racism in ourselves is necessary, difficult, and uncomfortable.
Todd and Cathy discuss some of the questions from this New York Times article titled The 36 Questions That Lead to Love
Todd and Cathy discuss the highlights of a Freakonomics podcast titled Reasons to Be Cheerful as well as The Goop Podcast titled The Culture of Busyness. Some of the topics discussed were the negativity bias, loss aversion, and getting out of the way so our kids can become the people they are supposed to be.
Todd and Cathy interview Jim Dethmer from the Conscious Leadership Group. They discuss the difference between the content (what is happening) of our lives and the context (from what energy are we dealing with what is happening. They also talk about the universe, death, toddlers, weed, and body intelligence in this real world example when Cathy and Todd's 12 year old daughter interrupts the interview.
Todd and Cathy discuss what it means to experience messy and how messy, but necessary, conversations can cause discomfort and uncertainty. They discuss why others are not always bad or wrong, and how we can see the nuance and grey in every situation. They discuss how enlightening or self-aware moments can look different for everybody, and how a Good Will Hunting moment isn’t the only example of catharsis.
Cathy and Todd discuss why hitting a wall is to be expected, and why it’s not a failure, it’s a recalibration. They discuss what walls can teach us and why adaptation and pivoting are important now, and after, the pandemic. They discuss why all feelings are acceptable, and why if we can be specific about what we are feeling, we will have an easier time moving through it.
Cathy+Todd discuss Walt Whitman’s poem This is what you shall do and discuss how his wisdom is relevant today. The discuss what it means to “dismiss whatever insults your soul”, and why this relates to us globally and in our own families. They also share lessons from The Little Rascals and Dead Poets Society.
Cathy and Todd discuss how we judge our own feelings and then instead of self-regulating, we get lost in a cycle of emotions. They discuss Mark Brackett’s book Permission to Feel, and his interview on Brenè Brown’s Unlocking Us podcast. They also share some ways we can monitor our emotions and show up for our kids, partners, and world in a more compassionate way.
Cathy and Todd discuss vivid dreaming and why you might be feeling old griefs during this pandemic. They discuss why talking about your feelings and appreciating humor and joy are stabilizing. They share why Lin Manuel Miranda, John Krasinski, the Cuomo Brothers and Matthew McConaughey have been helpful over the last couple of days.
Cathy and Todd discuss creating new habits during the pandemic – for some this can add structure, and for others this can feel too overwhelming. They share the difference between people who are enjoying this time of shelter-in-place, and those who are working harder and taking risks so we all can feel safe and cared for. They also discuss the show Alone and why we need to take care of those who are by themselves, and why relationships are the things that matter most.
Cathy and Todd discuss an article in the Harvard Law Review titled The Discomfort You Are Feeling is Grief. Grief expert David Kessler explains how we are all feeling anticipatory grief during this pandemic and how to find hope and meaning in our daily experiences. They also discuss how to pull inspiration from Caroline Ingalls (Little House on the Prairie) and the movie Castaway.
Todd and Cathy discuss a few ways to cope with uncertainty and why self-care and emotional well-being is the most important thing right now.
Todd and Cathy discuss how to talk to kids about the uncertainty of these times, and why it’s important to focus on the whole rather than the individual. They discuss why it’s ok to let kids sleep and loosen up on your typical structure, and ways to help other people in need.
Todd and Cathy discuss the impact of the corona virus, emotional labor, & Kramer's attitude towards the gas gauge.
Todd and Cathy discuss how negative news cycles and uncertainty can leave us feeling tired and overwhelmed. They discuss how to take care of ourselves (it’s a practice!), and how to talk to our kids about their feelings and coping tools.
Cathy & Todd discuss the highlights and takeaways to the 5th annual Zen Parenting Conference.
Time Stamps 4:00 Tuesday morning inspiration
12:05 Compassionate partnership
48:22 Avid Painting & Remodeling Resources 2020 Zen Parenting Conference
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Tribe Men's Group
Pop Culturing
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Painting or remodeling needs? Check out Avid Co. Upcoming Events CLICK HERE for a list of all upcoming events
Todd and Cathy discuss Elizabeth Gilbert’s Valentine’s Day post titled TEN ACTUAL THINGS THAT LOVE HAS SAID TO ME WHEN I WAS ALONE AND AFRAID (FOR ANYONE WHO MIGHT NEED IT TODAY). They discuss each one and how they can rewire the way we experience ourselves and the way we see the world.
Cathy & Todd talk about the new Taylor Swift Documentary, Shakira's and J-Lo's Superbowl half time show, and other powerful women.
Cathy+Todd talk with Heidi Stevens from the Chicago Tribune, and Dr. John Duffy, author of Parenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety. They discuss having a moral compass, the current political climate, handling Facebook conversations, and of course, parenting. Make sure you subscribe to Heidi and John’s podcast, On Purpose.
Cathy and Todd discuss why we are always evolving, and share a clip from The Robcast about why humility is essential. They discuss why it’s never too late to excel at sports or other activities, why procrastination may not be such a bad thing, and why Slow TV on Netflix is so soothing.
Cathy and Todd continue their discussion about wounds and triggers, and why parts of ourselves need to be acknowledged and validated. They discuss awareness and forgiveness, and why every trigger is an opening and opportunity to heal.
Cathy and Todd discuss childhood wounding and why it leads to triggers in adulthood. They discuss how healthy parts of the self can soothe the wounded parts, and why being triggered is like a replaying an old, painful event or message.
Todd and Cathy discuss “relationship resolutions” for 2020, and why practice and self-compassion are essential when starting a new year.
Cathy and Todd interview Dr. Siegel's newest book- The Power of Showing Up- How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become & How Their Brains Get Wired.
Cathy and Todd discuss Dr. Thomas Boyce’s book, The Orchid and the Dandelion and how all children can thrive if given the right environment. They also discuss neurodiversity, This is Us, some of the best movies of the year, and what’s in store for 2020.
It's a double feature as Cathy and Todd interview the CEO of A Call To Men Tony Porter & Author of Raising Good Humans Hunter Clarke-Fields.
Cathy and Todd discuss why women are expected to take a man’s last name, and why this can be an important discussion and decision for couples. They discuss the meaning of Miss, Ms, and Mrs., why Queen and Slim and Marriage Story are important movies, and why Carol Spinney, the man who played Big Bird will be missed.
Cathy and Todd discuss poetry, Frozen 2, The ZPR Holiday Calendar and setting an intention.
Cathy and Todd discuss the new film "It's A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood" about Mister Rogers as well as a quick take on women's menstruation.
Cathy and Todd discuss Imago Dialogue as introduced by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt's book titled Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples and why it could help your relationships.
Cathy and Todd discuss what it means to “feel felt” and how to attune to your partner and children. They also explain why it’s important to understand your child’s experience and not deny their reality.
Cathy and Todd discuss Anna Quindlin’s quote, “The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself”, and how we can help our kids understand this at an early age. They discuss the anxiety kids feel to do everything right, and why kids from high-achieving schools are now considered “high risk”.
We had two special guests on the podcast today - Rosalind Wiseman and our daughter Jacey - you don’t want to miss this discussion about dignity, respect, Euphoria, sex ed, boy group chats and of course, Mean Girls - we will post next week! 💥
Cathy and Todd discuss the difference between self-compassion and self-esteem and why only one is healthy for the individual and family. They share the three components of self-compassion shared by Kristin Neff, and discuss her impact on Brenè Brown and others.
Cathy and Todd discuss the Adverse Childhood Experiences test, and why California Surgeon General Nadine Burke Harris plans to incorporate it into early-childhood wellness screenings. They discuss how an ACE score determines the long-term health of a child, and why understanding an ACE score can help deepen our self-awareness and evolve our parenting.
Todd and Cathy discuss how to talk about money and responsibility with your older kids. They discuss Rupture and Repair and how to recognize your own baggage so you can communicate effectively (rather than defensively).
Todd and Cathy discuss the different types Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) and why it’s important to recognize our own experiences and blindspots. They discuss Malcolm Gladwell’s new book, Talking to Strangers, and how it can help us think in a more nuanced and expansive way.
In the second half of this two part interview, Todd and Cathy talk with friend Dr. John Duffy about his new book Parenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety: A Complete Guide to Your Child's Stressed, Depressed, Expanded, Amazing Adolescence They discuss weed, gaming, identity traffic, and much more.
Todd and Cathy discuss a powerful tool for understanding ourselves and the people in our lives called the Enneagram - it’s a system of nine personality types that combines traditional wisdom with modern psychology. They discuss the light and dark of each number and why understanding the different types develops self-compassion and empathy for others.
Cathy+Todd introduce the speakers for the 5th annual Zen Parenting Conference, February 28+29, 2020. They share why there’s more to love, more to learn, and MORE TO THE STORY. The 2020 conference is for parents, educators, therapists and definitely TEENS. Go to zenparentingradio.com and click events for your early-bird tickets! Only $25 for a teen ticket!
Todd and Cathy discuss a powerful tool for understanding ourselves and the people in our lives called the Enneagram - it’s a system of nine personality types that combines traditional wisdom with modern psychology. They discuss the light and dark of each number and why understanding the different types develops self-compassion and empathy for others.
Cathy and Todd breakdown the manipulation tactic known as gaslighting, where the goal is to abuse or control through lying, manipulating, and destabilizing. They discuss how it can be used by partners, parents, friends, bosses, and the political system, and why self-awareness and reality testing are essential to keep yourself from being victimized. They also discuss Norway’s approach to childhood sports and how its contributed to their record-setting number of Olympic medals.
We couldn’t tape a show this week because Todd was sick ☹, so this is our Pop Culturing Podcast where we talk about the movie Say Anything… (1989) – we share why Lloyd and Diane’s love and friendship inspired us to be better people. We will return to our regularly scheduled programming next week! Say Anything ... is a 1989 American romantic comedy-drama film written and directed by Cameron Crowe in his directorial debut. The film follows the romance between Lloyd Dobler (John Cusack), an average student, and Diane Court (Ione Skye), the class valedictorian, immediately after their graduation from high school. In 2002, Entertainment Weekly ranked Say Anything ... as the greatest modern movie romance, and it was ranked number 11 on Entertainment Weekly's list of the 50 best high-school movies.
Cathy and Todd discuss the benefit of mental health days after a law passed in Oregon allowing them to be excused. They also discuss the light and dark side of empathy, and how pain and challenge is a an opportunity to become more compassionate toward ourselves and others. The discuss post-traumatic growth and how we are hard-wired to help people in need, especially if we relate to their experience.
Cathy and Todd discuss why alone time or time away from your partner can be healthy and connective. They share the benefits and discuss the balance of togetherness and individuation. They share why it’s important to keep a sense of self and why the healthiest partnerships exist within the paradox of safety and adventure.
Cathy and Todd discuss Stranger Things Season 3 and how it deals with grief, trauma, and growing up. They also discuss the “believe women” theme and all of the obvious and less obvious 80’s references.
Cathy and Todd discuss how we all have different approaches to challenging situations, and why there isn’t one way to speak up or solve a problem. They discuss how we can help children build a “self-awareness muscle” through question-asking and curiosity, and why understanding and honoring who we are is a life-long endeavor.
Todd and Cathy discuss Jon Krakauer’s book Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town and the documentary the Bystander Moment (ZPR and The Tribe Men’s Group are hosting a free screening of this movie at the Elmhurst Public Library on July 9th at 7 pm). They discuss the statistics and trauma of sexual assault, and the why it’s important to talk to our kids about entitlement, desire, and consent. They explain what it means to be an Upstander and why supporting and speaking up for others is a socially responsibility.
To celebrate their 500th episode and 8 years of podcasting, Todd and Cathy talk with their daughters Jacey (16), Camryn (14), and Skylar (11) about their experiences with “zen” parenting, and discuss the issues confronting teens and pre-teens today. Todd and Cathy also announce the launch of their new podcast, Pop Culturing - they discuss movies, tv shows and books, and break down key moments and little-known facts to touch upon underlying themes of self-awareness and what it means to be human.
Cathy and Todd discuss some questions that Lori Gottlieb addresses in her book, Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, and share their own experiences with being the practitioner and the patient.
Cathy and Todd discuss how fatherhood is being redefined and expanded as we learn more about ourselves and gender, Team Zen, Taylor Swift and much more...
Cathy and Todd discuss Sheryl Paul’s book The Wisdom of Anxiety, and why anxiety is an opportunity to be curious rather than afraid. They discuss how compassion, stillness, and gratitude play a role in understanding and coping with anxiety, and why anxiety is a wound and a messenger. They also discuss the Equal Rights Amendment and how it hasn’t yet been ratified by 38 states.
Todd and Cathy discuss Sister Joan Chittister and her new book The Time is Now: A Call to Uncommon Courage. They discuss civil discourse, why we get our loves out of order, and why we yearn for the genuine. They discuss why self-care is the first step toward bettering our partnerships, parenting, and engagement in community and activism.
Todd and Cathy talk with Gemma Hartley, author of Fed Up. They discuss emotional labor, how it affects partnership and parenting, and why it needs to be an evolving and ongoing conversation. Gemma will be taking questions during our Team Zen talk on June 4th – click here to join Team Zen and participate.
Cathy and Todd discuss why the new laws in Alabama and other states strip women of their reproductive and human rights. They discuss how we have to take a wider view and not assume everyone has access to the same resources or education. They discuss how men make these decisions but remove themselves from what should be legislated or criminalized, and how we could refocus our energy to educate and support all communities. This episode is for mature audiences.
Cathy and Todd discuss girls and stress and play clips from Rich Roll’s interview with Under Pressure author Lisa Damour. They also discuss the conflict between James Charles and Tati Westbrook, and how to talk to boys about being a bystander.
Cathy and Todd talk with Former New York Times reporter KJ Dell’Antonio about her book How to be a Happier Parent. They discuss some common issues that challenge parents, and explore how to decrease the stress and find more joy.
Todd and Cathy discuss how people and organizations are both light and dark, and why it’s important to recognize this in ourselves. They discuss the You Tube Original Show Cobra Kai, specifically the nostalgia and surprises, and how all the characters are multidimensional and imperfect. They also share Carol Cadwalladr’s TED Talk where she calls out the Titans of Tech and Ricky Henderson’s Baseball Hall of Fame speech.
Cathy and Todd discuss a sports psychologist Dr. Michael Gervais interview on Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard. They discuss the difference between being the best and being your best.
Cathy and Todd discuss how to give ourselves permission to change or try something new. They share some wisdom from Oprah’s new book The Path Made Clear, and discuss why trusting and honoring ourselves can strengthen our relationships.
Todd and Cathy discuss Greg McKeown’s book Essentialism about how we can do less, but better. They discuss how to figure out what’s essential, how to let go of what we no longer need, and how essentialism relates to KonMari and the movie City Slickers.
Cathy and Todd discuss how parenting experts can appear to contradict each other (even when their information is valid), and why we need to know our family and trust our instincts when making parenting decisions. They discuss Gabor Matè’s interview on the Goop podcast, Lori Gottlieb’s interview on NPR’s Fresh Air, and they share MILCK’s #ICANTKEEPQUIET project.
Todd and Cathy discuss the lessons from the longest study about happiness from the Harvard Study on Adult Development. They discuss Steven Pinker’s data about the world getting better, and what Bill Gates and Warren Buffet both recommend for a happy life.
Cathy and Todd discuss public shaming and why responsibility, humility, and reflection need to be a part of the process. They discuss John Oliver’s interview with Monica Lewinsky and the college admission scandal.
Todd and Cathy discuss Dax Shepard’s interview with Dr. John Gottman, and discuss his research around marriage, parenting, sex, and the key to longevity.
Todd and Cathy discuss why parental self-awareness is essential when our kids are making their life decisions. They discuss how our history plays a role in what we think is best for our kids, and why we need to be clear about what “success” means. They discuss why what worked for us may not work for them, and why staying connected is dependent on honest and vulnerable communication.
Cathy and Todd discuss the difference between a punitive (inflicting punishment) and restorative perspective (seeking to understand and address what happened to all involved), and why it’s important to recognize how we parent and why. They discuss why a restorative approach necessitates self-awareness and mindfulness, and why our willingness to effectively communicate with our kids about choices will help them with their decision-making as adults.
Todd and Cathy discuss why focusing on simple allows other things to flow more easily, and why aligning with what feels right allows determination, grit, and curiosity to show up naturally. They discuss why equifinalityv(the fact that there are many different pathways to the same outcome) is important to acknowledge when we are making choices for ourselves or for our children.
Cathy and Todd discuss the Superbowl and the most impactful commercials, specifically The Washington Post commercial titled Democracy Dies in Darkness. They discuss how the Justice Department minimized the description of domestic violence and why less information can create more problems. They process Lady Gaga’s deposition for Kesha, the Dirty John Podcast, and why connection and listening are the keys to every life relationship.
Todd and Cathy discuss the shadow parts of themselves that they pretend aren’t there, and Todd shares an activity where he had to act out the parts he tries hardest to repress. They share why the people who annoy us tend to display traits in ourselves that we don’t want to look at, and why accepting all of our parts keeps us whole and develops our compassion.
Todd and Cathy discuss the new American Psychological Association (APA) guidelines for men and boys, and why a Gillette ad about healthy masculinity has drawn so much criticism.
Todd and Cathy discuss why instead of looking for truth, we can begin to notice the lies that we consistently tell ourselves. They discuss failure, and why Cody Parkey’s kick during the Bears game became a teachable moment. They talk about extended family, noticing our ego, and what we can learn from the movie Cocktail.
Cathy shares an essay by Mark Nepo about partners who are willing to take turns exploring the outer and the inner. They discuss why equality is like an unwinding onion with limitless new things to explore, while focusing on Glenn Close in The Wife and Amy Adams in Vice. They also talk about what “unlikability” means for female candidates, and why it’s important to discuss specifically what makes us like, believe, or pay attention to person in front of us.
Todd and Cathy share different questions asked by Team Zen members during Zen Talks. Team Zen was created based on feedback from listeners – they wished they could ask Cathy+Todd a question, get resources for a specific challenge, and find a supportive and interactive community. Team Zen does all of this, and more. It includes two live ZenTalks a month, a private Facebook page with resources and Q&A, a premium podcast, and an opportunity to connect with a community of Zen Parents, just like you.
Cathy and Todd discuss why light and dark are part of the holidays, and why every season has a purpose. They discuss Barbara Brown Taylor’s book, Learning to Walk in the Dark, and why embracing dark can make us more compassionate and integrated people. They discuss the challenges of spiritual bypassing and what Wayne Dyer meant when he said, “Learn to die while you are living”.
Todd and Cathy discuss Jonathan Haidt’s book The Coddling of the American Mind, specifically focusing on the interview with Sam Harris on the Waking Up podcast. They discuss why universities struggle with controversial speakers, why safe spaces were created, and why some people have a hard time viewing emotional pain as valid pain. They process why there are no simple answers, and how each situation carries unique challenges and dynamics that need to be considered.
Cathy and Todd introduce four more speakers and four special organizations who will be at the 2019 Zen Parenting Conference. They discuss a podcast featuring Tony Robbins and the author of The Untethered Soul, Michael Singer, and they play a clip from Will Smith about why love is help.
Cathy and Todd discuss Brandi Carlisle’s song The Joke, and why it was written for people who feel “under-represented, unloved or illegal”. They talk about the newest sexual assault allegations, and what needs to be done to create change. The discuss the dignity of George HW Bush, and why his agenda while in office was surprising.
Our friend Josh St. Pierre returns to the show to give us an update on his recent kidney transplant (click here to listen to Josh’s first podcast where he shares his story). He shares what it felt like to get the phone call about the potential match, how he’s reflecting and recovering, and why he’s grateful for the people and lessons learned along the way. Click here to learn more about organ donation.
Todd and Cathy discuss how we tell our story, and how we can frame it in a way that serves us rather than depletes us. They discuss why mindfulness and sharing our story are essential when dealing with trauma, and also when we are parenting and relating to our children. They discuss Mark Epstein’s books, Sharon Salzberg’s path to compassionate teaching, and why Michelle Obama says we need to own our story.
Cathy and Todd discuss Michelle Obama’s new book Becoming, focusing in on some of the best pieces of advice for parents and kids. They discuss why we are always evolving, why growth never ends, and why we should allow our kids (and ourselves) to fail, pivot, and change.
Cathy and Todd discuss anger and how it can be productive, but also be destructive if not monitored. They discuss Pete Davidson’s apology and Lt. Com. Dan Crenshaw’s willingness to accept it on SNL this weekend. They discuss how Bridesmaids and Pitch Perfect allowed the women to be the complex characters, and why Bohemian Rhapsody is so fun to watch.
Cathy and Todd discuss how fear can be helpful if we are willing to listen and look at what’s it’s trying to say, but destructive if we live from constant state of fear by blaming and dehumanizing. They discuss Dr. Bessel van de Kolk’s book, The Body Keeps Score, and his interview with Krista Tippet on the Being Wise podcast, and how trauma becomes lodged in our bodies and what we can do to move it through. Cathy and Todd share examples of trauma and disconnection from Million Little Things, 8th Grade, The Haunting of Hill House, and the way our current administration is dehumanizing immigrants and people seeking asylum at the border. And if you are reading this on Tuesday, Nov 6th – GO VOTE.
Cathy and Todd discuss why blame and the belief that we are superior to another causes pain in our family, community and country. They discuss how dehumanization is a weapon to oppress and harm, and why we need to be thoughtful about words we say and write. They also discuss why intimacy coordinators are being used at HBO, why Todd can continue to express himself authentically, and Dax Shepard’s interview with Brenè Brown.
Cathy and Todd discuss some great quotes and wisdom gained from Cathy’s weekend with Glennon and Abby at Omega Institute. They discuss why being a “cool girl” is no longer necessary or healthy, why pleasing everyone will exhaust you, and how our wounds can become our greatest source of strength and inspiration. Glennon and Abby are the keynotes at the Zen Parenting Conference on March 8&9, 2019 – get your tickets at zenparentingradio.com.
Cathy and Todd discuss Brenè Brown’s new book, Daring to Lead, and apply her well-researched leadership principles to the family structure. They discuss why fear is inevitable, how courage can be practiced, and how we can teach and role model leadership in our homes, so our kids can take it into the world.
Cathy and Todd discuss power dynamics within relationships – specifically who has it, how to share it, and how to talk about it. They discuss why taking a measured approach to power – with our kids, in our partnerships, and even on-line - has the potential to teach compassion and deepen relationships. They discuss why stepping back is sometimes necessary, why stepping forward can be powerful, and why This Is Us leads to great family discussions.
Todd and Cathy discuss the history of not believing women, and why recognizing what we’ve missed and creating change can be messy and difficult. They share clips from a Hidden Brain podcast about how social proof and horizontal action play a role in the #metoo movement, the truth about Anita Hill’s testimony (click here to hear the “You’re Wrong About…” podcast), and why the Duke Lacrosse story became nationally known (click here to see the 30 for 30 documentary trailer). They share the history of “female hysteria”, and why recognizing our own biases and beliefs will allow us to be more compassionate toward ourselves and empathetic toward others.
Cathy and Todd discuss #WhyIDidntReport and why it’s important to listen, rather than assume we already understand, other people’s stories. They discuss the importance of hearing – women who talk about sexual assault, our spouses, our children – rather than assuming we already understand their experiences. They talk about questioning unconscious bias and share clips from a vulnerable and brave Charles Blow interview.
Todd and Cathy discuss how Todd wants to make his daughters watch the documentary "RBG" and how it's not working. They also talk about a dad who wants to force his daughter to attend "optional" soccer practices. They talk about their own struggle of brand vs. mission for Zen Parenting Radio. Lastly they play a clip from the "flu" episode.
Cathy and Todd talk with Rea Frey about her new domestic suspense novel, Not Her Daughter. She shares the story behind the book, the conversation it has created, and why it makes the reader question the line between right and wrong. They also discuss modern-day parenting, the trauma of birth, and some real-life kidnapping scares. Not Her Daughter will be made into a major motion picture, and it’s made numerous top book lists for summer, including a shout-out in Us Weekly. Booklist proclaims, "Brings to mind Jodi Picoult...thought-provoking domestic drama."
Todd and Cathy discuss how kids can practice self-care and why a mental health day may reduce their anxiety and possibly decrease the odds of physical illness. They also discuss how couples can discuss balance and equity in the home, and how our society views female anger, specifically Serena Williams anger, during the U.S. Open.
Boundaries and Compassion Todd and Cathy discuss boundaries and compassion, and how they are threads that run through so many questions posed by parents, especially during Team Zen conversations. They also share why discussing controversial subjects doesn’t need to create more controversy, and why understanding how Fortnite makes kids feel will help explain why the game is so popular.
Cathy and Todd talk with Dr. Devorah Heitner, author of Screenwise and 2019 Zen Parenting Conference speaker, about supporting/guiding a child through their first-phone experience. They also discuss recent movies such as 8th Grade, BlacKKKlansman, and the new documentary, America to Me, filmed at Oak Park River Forest High School.
Todd and Cathy discuss the rituals and habits the set the tone for our days and nights, and why recognizing and understanding our power is the great success determiner.
Cathy and Todd announce their 2019 Zen Parenting Conference speakers. They share why you MUST get to know these amazing women, read their books, and get your early-bird tickets to the conference. They discuss the difference between FOMO and JOMO and why JOMO can help us lead healthier and more peaceful lives.
Cathy and Todd share a letter from a listener whose son discovers himself through dance, and how this discovery leads to self-aware parenting. It’s an inspirational and emotional story about how to create a connected relationship with your child – you don’t want to miss it. Steve is the father in this story has a part-time photography business which can be found here. Cathy and Todd also discuss Pixar’s Inside Out. See Soren dance below…
Cathy and Todd discuss Episode 4 of the series We Are Man Enough that discusses the #metoo movement.
Todd and Cathy discuss Brady Bunch, Serena Williams Wimbeldon interview, how to deal with conflict, empathy, and finding out who you ca count on for honest, yet compassionate feedback.
Todd and Cathy discuss one of Toby’s quotes from This is Us, and explain why his wisdom could strengthen any relationship. They discuss how to love our inner child without letting it take control, and why there are always only two options, love or fear. They share wisdom from Richard Rohr and Gary Zukov and some humor from Friends.
Todd and Cathy speak with Co-Founder of Threads Worldwide. An organization that creates life-changing work with women around the world through the fair trade of artisan jewelry. In 2011 they founded Threads Worldwide to weave together the collaboration and collective power of women everywhere.
Cathy and Todd discuss a productive definition of hope based on insight from Parker Palmer and Howard Thurman. They discuss Hannah Gadsby’s Netflix Comedy Special and share why her bravery and willingness to speak up is leading the way.
Todd and Cathy talk with Jayson Gaddis & Ellen Boeder, partners and cofounders of The Relationship School. Jayson also hosts the Smart Couple Podcast, and Ellen is a therapist with a private practice. They discuss how couples grow and thrive, why men have a harder time focusing on personal growth, and why connection and self-understanding are the keys to an empowered life.
Todd and Cathy talk with Patty Monahan, founder of Our Whole Village, a company that specializes in family vacations and adventures. They discuss why travel is so important at every age, why we should teach our children to be global citizens, and why travel creates confident parents and strong families.
Cathy and Todd talk with Debbie Reber, author of Differently Wired: Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World. They discuss why this book is rally cry for all parents raising exceptional children, and why it benefits every parent to listen and understand differences. Debbie also shares 18 powerful “tilts” or paradigm shifts that can change how we see ourselves and our children.
Todd and Cathy talk with Josh St. Pierre, a 42 year old full-time soccer coach who is need of a kidney. Josh explains why live liver and kidney donation is essential and how to figure out if you are a match with someone on the registry. He also shares his story, starting with being diagnosed with kidney failure at 30, and why he is willing to ask for help and speak up for every person needing organ donation.
If you're interested in being a living donor, please call 312-695-0828 and say you're interested in being a living donor on behalf of Josh St. Pierre.
Todd and Cathy discuss a recent emotional labor issue and why it created an important discussion about invisible work. They also discuss the deaths of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, and discuss why allowing our darkness and discussing mental wellness is essential. They offer a recipe for fulfillment and share why we need to call women’s sports just “sports”.
Cathy and Todd discuss Abby Wambach’s graduation speech at Barnard and why it made such an impact. They share wisdom from Franciscan friar Richard Rohr about why it’s so easy to remember the negative, but so difficult to absorb the positive.
Cathy and Todd talk with Karen Brody, author of Daring to Rest: Reclaim Your Power with Yoga Nidra Rest Meditation. They discuss why women feel so much pressure to be productive, and why we need to redefine what rest really means. They discuss the power of yoga nidra, why it makes such a difference physically, emotionally, and spiritually, and why intention is an essential part of the process. Karen is also the creator/writer of Birth, a play about how low-risk, educated women are giving birth today. Since 2006 the play been performed around the world as part of BOLD, an arts-based global movement inspiring communities to create childbirth choices that work for mothers.
Cathy and Todd discuss Dr. Robin Berman’s book, Permission to Parent, and also her interview on the goop podcast. They discuss how our brain grows on love, why group-think starts in childhood, and why continuing to seek the approval of your parents can be detrimental to your present-day relationships.
Cathy and Todd talk with International Best-Selling Author Charlie Donlea. They talk about each of his three books including his latest and greatest "Don't Believe It" They also talk pop culture, Serial, The Making Of A Murderer, baseball, and Dungeons & Dragons. Won't want to miss this one!!!!
Cathy and Todd discuss intersectionality, a way of describing how multiple threats of discrimination exist when an individual’s identities overlap with several minority classes — such as race, gender, age, ethnicity, health and other characteristics. They discuss why we need to recognize our differences and listen to each other so we can begin to view experiences through a broader and more inclusive lense. They share how this can affect parenting and how it can shape our world view and make it easier for us to take care of each other. They share clips from Franchesca Ramsey and Laci Green, and recommend Kimberlè Crenshaw’s TED Talk titled, The Urgency of Intersectionality.
In this two-part interview, Todd and Cathy talk with Sara Knizhnik, Campaign Organizer at Illinois Council Against Handgun Violence, & Diane Lans-Kautz, Leader of the Moms Demand Action Chapter in Elmhurst. They discuss how Moms Demand Action started, how members are making a difference at the state and federal level, and why it’s a bipartisan group (that supports the 2nd amendment) that is not just for moms. They discuss legislation, other groups and individuals that are making a difference, and how we can all get involved to decrease the epidemic of gun violence that is now a public health issue.
Link to Part 1: https://zenparentingradio.com/podcasts/433/ Resources/Videos used on today's show https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sf68LZ-yagM&t=3s
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In part 1 of this 2 part interview- Todd and Cathy talk with Sara Knizhnik, Campaign Organizer at Illinois Council Against Handgun Violence, and Diane Lans-Kautz, Leader of the Moms Demand Action Chapter in Elmhurst. They discuss how Moms Demand Action started, how members are making a difference at the state and federal level, and why it’s a bipartisan group (that supports the 2nd amendment) that is not just for moms. They discuss legislation, other groups and individuals that are making a difference, and how we can all get involved to decrease the epidemic of gun violence that is now a public health issue.
Todd and Cathy continue discussing Julie Lythcott-Haims’ book, How to Raise an Adult, specifically focusing on what our kids should know before they venture out on their own. They share a clip from Luvvie Ajayi’s TED Talk about the importance of speaking up, even when it’s uncomfortable, and why “keeping the peace” can keep us stuck in time. Todd shares a clip from a highly emotionally-intelligent father who understands how to reach his daughter, even while she’s under duress.
Todd and Cathy discuss a practical checklist of what kids need before they go to college written by Julie Lythcott-Haims, author of How to Raise an Adult. The checklist offers intention and clarity, and recognizes that skills develop over time in a child-developmentally appropriate way. They also discuss why Todd wanted to play Cashflow for his birthday, and why financial awareness is necessary education for our kids.
Cathy and Todd discuss the Super Soul Podcast conversation between Amy Schumer and Oprah about her new movie, I Feel Pretty. They talk about trusting your intention, why emotional labor is vital to the health of the family, and why accepting yourself leads to real confidence and a deeper connection with others.
Todd and Cathy discuss the emotional challenges of American men and why this impacts every part of our society. Their guests, Frank Naugo and Shaun Emerson, discuss why men struggle with intimacy, vulnerability, and friendship, and why anger or numbness can become a default setting. They share clips from the Hidden Brain podcast titled How American Masculinity Creates Lonely Men, and discuss how we can redefine what it means to be a man.
Todd and Cathy discuss “moral outrage” and how to use it to create positive change. They explain how society tends to value a clean and concise way of thinking, but how thinking out of the box or seeing the bigger picture can lead to greater compassion and connection. They discuss how to support a child who doesn’t want to share, why spaghetti thinking is as important as waffle thinking, and why archetypes can help us understand ourselves better.
Todd and Cathy welcome their friends John and Julie Duffy, hosts of the Better Podcast (formerly titled Undue Anxiety). They talk about Tony Robbins, the #MeToo movement, and why listening and respecting others is essential for real change. They discuss couplehood, family dynamics, and how we can live in joy but always leave room for the dark.
Cathy and Todd discuss how to recognize when we are showing up authentically rather than performing. They also discuss how to deal with a child who seems consistently disappointed, and why taking responsibility for our own behavior is key. Todd shares a clip about investing from Freakonomics, Cathy discusses the joy of Funko characters, and they offer some wisdom from Tommy Boy.
Todd & Cathy Discuss the 4 different types of fears as described by Iyanla Vanzandt, Dierk's Bentley, Bruce Willis' wine cooler commercial, Eddie Murphy's single "Party All The Time", and how we've all already done the hardest thing we will ever do.
Todd shares a story of a softball coach who proclaims "boys are stronger than girls" and what happened after that statement was made. They also discuss why focusing on too many things makes us feel overwhelmed and paralyzed, and why choosing one thing helps us take action and create real change (they share examples from MOMS Demand Action and from A Wrinkle in Time). They share how they created their women’s circle/men’s group, why we should speak up for others, and they play a new song by Lin-Manuel Miranda and Ben Platt called Found/Tonight (some proceeds go toward the March For Our Lives).
Cathy and Todd discuss the question that they hear the most – “How can I get my partner to….” - they discuss why this question is multi-layered, messy, and not easily answered. They discuss why wanting to change others feels easier than changing ourselves, why true wisdom comes from quiet, and the life-changing advice Oprah has for all people.
Todd and Cathy discuss Cheryl Strayed, MILCK, Mike Domitrz and all the goodness from the 2018 Zen Parenting Conference. They discuss the most frequently asked question ZPR question, the Oscars, and how we can all become forces for good.
Todd and Cathy discuss The Gentle Warrior’s Manifesto to Reduce Busyness from Courtney Carver’s book, Soulful Simplicity, and they discuss a Freakonomic’s podcast titled After the Glass Ceiling, A Glass Cliff, about why only 5% of Fortune 500 companies are run by women. They share why men and women eat Doritos differently, why we need to linger longer, and why Cathy loves Lionel Richie.
Todd and Cathy discuss the Parkland tragedy, and talk about why it’s time to take action to keep our kids safe at school. They explain how we can take on all pieces of the puzzle – common sense laws, mental wellness, and community/parent/school support – rather than fight about which one matters the most. They also discuss Dr. Dan Siegel’s book Brainstorm, and process how the teenage brain works and why it’s necessary for teenagers to take risks.
Cathy and Todd discuss why we are always evolving, and share a clip from The Robcast about why humility is essential. They discuss why it’s never too late to excel at sports or other activities, why procrastination may not be such a bad thing, and why Slow TV on Netflix is so soothing.
Todd and Cathy share some of the touching and funny Superbowl commercials, and they discuss a video of Will Smith explaining why fault and responsibility are two different things. Cathy shares some of her favorite self-compassion quotes, and they discuss why some quotes wake us up or resonate so strongly. Todd discusses his gullibility, he defends Taylor Swift, and he shares an aha from our Zen Parenting Conference keynote speaker Mike Domitrz.
Cathy and Todd discuss the road to wellness and why shame, judgment, anxiety, and hope all play a role. They also discuss why asking for help is so essential, and why asking for help is an act of bravery and strength. They discuss what it means to be a strength-based parent and play a clip from Lea Waters, author of The Strength Switch. Todd plays a clip from the TED Talk podcast about how people with less money actually give more to those in need, and how exposure and empathy are the keys to greater giving.