and also: Recent Episodes
Kathy and Kristine
We’re just two girls standing in front of you asking you to run in here and come get y’all’s Value Brand Cullens cuz we don’t want them. Chapter 15 of Life and Death. Sorry for the delay!
We cover chapter 14 of Life & Death. Kristine continues to be the biggest Royal/Edythe Truther. We go on several tangents and then eventually land on the very important point that you should get vaccinated. Your balls will be fine.
Chapter 13 of Life and Death! It’s the meadow scene where Beau almost breaks out into several Hozier songs. Disclaimer: Gets loud and no dogs were hurt in the filming of this episode.
Chapter 12 of Life and Death and we really have to stop expecting Stephenie Meyer to be anything but the worst.
It is the one year anniversary of and also! We’re so proud we’ve stuck with it. In this episode we discuss Chapter 11 of Life and Death and also rant about the sexism in Stephenie Meyer’s portrayal of Edythe Cullen. Obviously. We will always slander Stephenie.
Chapter 10 of Life and Death. The toxicity levels in this chapter are astronomical and Jeremy becomes the unexpected villain of the piece. Justice for Jessica Stanley. Warning: loud laughter in this episode.
Chapter 9 of Life & Death has taught us that we’re still mad at Edward, Twilight movie the goat, and that Beau’s love language is apparently physical touch.
Chapter 8 of Life and Death. We had a little break because of work stuff. But we’re back, baybee! And we’re in Port Angeles and Stephenie Meyer was on one and therefore we were on one.
Chapter 7 of Life and Death. Stephenie Meyer is really bad at percentages, Beau is really good at thinking, and Kristine is really just doing her best to sell Microsoft products.
Chapter 6 of Life and Death - Twilight Reimagined. We meet girl Jacob and Stephenie continues to disprove her own point. Also, Logan can choke. (So can McKayla if we keeping it a buck).
Chapter 5 of Life and Death and we continue to dissect the trauma experienced by Beau. Also, Kristine rakes Stephenie Meyer cross the coals. As she should.
We go over chapter 4 of Life & Death and continue to learn about Beau’s burgeoning obsession with Edythe. We also see more of Kathy’s intense trust issues.
Trigger Warning: Talk of gruesome imagery and violence against women. We do chapter 3 of Life and Death (Twilight Reimagined) and Stephenie Meyer flubs it once again - who’s surprised??
Chapter 2 of Life and Death. We see more of the changes that Stephenie Meyer makes to the story simply because Beau is a boy. Also, Edythe Cullen supremacy confirmed.
We’re back with season 2! And this time we’re doing Twilight “reimagined”. Stephenie Meyer published Life and Death in 2016 with a gender swap. We meet Beau and Edythe and we hate it.
We’ve finally finished Twilight. Join us as we go over the epilogue and discuss our parting thoughts.
Chapter 24 of Twilight. The final chapter! Let’s talk about traumatic childhoods, bad alibis, and men who belong to the streets.
We cover chapters 22 and 23 of Twilight and it’s the mess you’ve probably come to expect. Let’s talk repression, drug use, and vampire work ethics.
We do TWO chapters in this one! Join us as we go over chapters 20 and 21 and discuss all the ways Bella’s social networks have failed her. Also...Renee slander.
Welcome back to the longest weekend of any of our lives. It’s chapter 19 of Twilight. We are almost done and Stephenie Meyer’s lazy writing just keeps getting lazier.
We do chapter 18 of Twilight. The Hunt! Ghosts! Stimulus Checks! Uncouth Vampires! Mild Game of Thrones Spoiler (if you still care)!
We cover chapter 17 aka the greatest baseball scene in modern cinema. There’s a great deal about rain.
We took a week off to deal with the wild election week emotions, but we’re back baby! We go over Carlisle’s origin and Kristine plans a career change to vampire counseling. Also, please note we KNOW Gatsby lived in West Egg.
We go over chapter 15 of Twilight. Bella dresses like the temptress she is to meet the Cullen-Hales! We discuss the weird family dynamics, and why Edward and Bella are not Heathcliff and Catherine despite Stephenie’s attempts.
Chapter 14 of Twilight aka the dragging of Carlisle Cullen. What is with these vampires and lacking a basic understanding of consent?? Also, there’s some talk of farting and kink shaming Stephenie Meyer.
I chime in with a haven’t you people heard of...saving yourselves for marriage?! We go over chapter 13 of the morality play called Twilight and dissect Bella’s trauma as the main ingredient in her and Edward’s relationship.
Chapter 12 of Twilight! We basically talked trash on any and everyone involved in this story for this episode. Enjoy!
We get into chapter 11 of Twilight. Bella is still obsessed with Edward. Edward is still very boring. And we are still making nonsensical jokes about inanimate objects.
We go over chapter 10 of Twilight and tackle important topics such as: possible Stephenie Meyer fetishes, Mormon fashion, and why Edward will never be Stefan Salvatore.
We get into chapter 9 of Twilight where Bella and Edward’s creepy relationship hits an important turning point.
Content Warning: Mention of rape culture, stalking, and street harassment. We talk about chapter 8 of Twilight - Port Angeles.
We review chapter 7 of Twilight where we talk about Bella doing her vampire research and Stephenie Meyer fails to sell Bella as a feminist because of traditional gender roles™️.
We do chapter 6 of Twilight and meet some of the kids from the Quileute tribe including Jacob (which throws into question our previous allegiance).
Chapter Five of Twilight! The one with the peak effboi behavior from Edward and where technical difficulties abound.
Back at it for chapter 4 of Twilight. Edward continues to manipulate a teenage girl and we come to Bella’s defense. How did we get here?
Or the dragging of Edward Cullen. We discuss chapter 3 of Twilight with special attention to Edward’s manipulation of a teenage girl AND the pitfalls of the American healthcare system.
We continue our Twilight re-read and discuss chapter 2 with an ode to fan fiction tropes and Minor League ball players.
We plan to talk about and make comments on different things and right now we take on a Twilight re-read.