11 Minutes to Leveling Up: Recent Episodes
Phyllis
In 11 minutes, or less, listen to life hacks, productivity tips, musings on social issues, and thought-provoking perspectives on the world we live in. These are short audio diaries about my experience in the tech industry, networking, and learning to grow more as a person. Thank you for listening!
I’m not a financial advisor. Learning about the benefits of long term investing as compared to long term saving has been such a blessing to me as I see how inflation and opportunity cost actually make saving a very expensive decision.
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Dreams are powerful tools to tell us more about ourselves and our lives when we’re not awake
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Like finances and negotiation, conflict resolution communication is a critical life skill that we don’t all have the environment to learn growing up. However, as an adult, we have to take responsibility for our own gaps and I am learning how to communicate more effectively in situations of tension rather than being passive or passive aggressive
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My friend and I are exercising consistently for the first time in a long time because were tapping Into the power of shared accountability for a mutual goal rather than beating ourselves up for a lack of “willpower”
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I finished reading The Five Love Languages book. The questions on my mind as a result are what are the differences between the languages you give love in versus the languages that you receive love in and how can I be more intentional about loving myself in my own love languages?
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Saying affirmations has helped me orient my mind in the right direction but has also increased my self awareness of things that have come up for me emotionally throughout the day that I may have ignored or missed
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There was a time you had to look people up to see what updates they posted on their wall instead of endlessly scrolling a news feed to see what everyone else is up to these days. Getting off social media allows you to take time to be intentional about getting updates from those that you care about as well as learning what you want to learn and see and care about rather than having what other people think you should care about shoved in your face. Try it!
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I really hate working out but have managed to find some consistent physical activity by reframing how I approach execrise
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Atomic habits by James clear talks about setting up environmental cues to enable you to build better habits without willpower. Pairing music and flossing has shown improvements for me. Would highly suggest reading the book and finding your own habit forming hacks!
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Highly recommend reading the book Atomic Habits by James Clear
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Don’t make the mistake I thinking that your goals aren’t good enough just because they don’t match the goals that somebody else has for themselves
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An organize conversation between my friend Samuel and myself about the meaning of life, how discomfort leads to growth, the necessity of connection, and learning to start new things despite their imperfections. Please give it a listen!!
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All this time, I had thought that in order to work out, I first have to feel good about working out. I am now realizing that I don’t have to feel good about working out; I have to feel good about the consequences of reaching my goals, making that more important than the discomfort of the means by which I do so
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Take an inventory of who you surround yourself with because you are the average of the five people around you. If you’re going to be the average of something you might as well be the average of excellence.
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Demonstrate consistency to yourself before investing time in equipment or memberships that will end up going unused because you managed to convince yourself yet again that you’d be different this time.
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Pretend you’re a product. Have you ever leaned into your product market fit, or are you using energy to chase down fixing all of your “imperfections”?
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You don’t have to understand why other people have the feelings they do in order to allow them the space to express themselves. Let people be happy or sad or whatever it is!
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As validating as it is to have someone understand what you’re going through, labels can be a cage you feel you might never escape
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Don’t think about how a contact might pay off in the future; learn to find value in all the ways your relationships already add so much to your life in the present
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Impostor syndrome isn’t an isolated incident. It’s a pattern of thinking. As with all patterns of thinking, it can be unpacked and unlearned
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Instead of being afraid of looking stupid, lean into looking stupid and learn from it.
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Why do we sacrifice long term loyalty to avoid dealing with temporary immediate discomfort?
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Live life in such a way that you won’t regret not dancing while you could still hear the music
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Role models are created from people who had the courage that their differences could make things better!
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Ask a different question to find a different answer.
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People often ask how to come up with content or how to get better at certain skills. Well, Nike can answer that question for you.
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And if they are watching, hope that they watch and learn.
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Hypnosis - I mean negotiation - starts with an understanding of the weak points in human psychology and in understanding that a rational conversation is never rational
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It’s hard to find an artist who doesn’t use auto tune nowadays. But there was a time where the artist using auto tune was questioned and dismissed. How did that happen?
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I mistakenly thought that I would be worth knowing if hundreds of millions of people knew who I was. I now realize than one person cheering for me who is my whole world has value as deep as the whole world cheering for me, without the stress on my mental health.
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I didn’t know what networking meant despite hearing the word for years. Now, I am called the “queen of networking” by some of my peers. How did that happen and how can it happen for you?
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A smile on someone’s face is worth more than the ping pong battles of insecurity going on in your head before taking action.
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Do you ever feel like a plastic bag? Maybe you should. They have a lot to teach us about gratitude.
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You can’t improve what you don’t measure. Learn to track your own success over time in order to develop self awareness and increase your likelihood of becoming of you want to grow into!
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I spent a lot of time researching what to incorporate into my diet and supplements in order to live my best healthiest life and wanted to share what I found. I forgot to mention matcha green tea as well!
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There’s always room for improvement. How you view improvement can be expanded from improvement of what is to an expansion into what could be.
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Deliberate practice over time is the only way progress can be made because that is the is the nature of progress: it compares points in time and the difference in output between them. This cannot happen unless you get in the ring daily weekly or at your chosen consistent interval to grow yourself and your craft
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Take some time to give to others on a day that’s supposedly all about you. Donating to the community on your birthday is a great celebration of self because it reflects your position in life being one where you are able to give out of an abundance as well as a celebration of your love for others and how we exist in an ecosystem that we all have a responsibility to make better, not in a silo.
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I was awoken to some insights around technology and social media by watching the Social Dilemma that I wasn’t aware despite using these products every day and being a Product Manager myself. What are your thoughts on the state of machine learning in technology, specifically social media? What would you change? How do you plan to implement that change in the world?
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People do a lot to pull from and pour into their relationships with others. I think that something that has really uplifted my life is remembering the relationship that I have with myself to pour into as well.
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Boldly go where no one has gone before in order to discover aspects of yourself that you wouldn’t have known before
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We’re a lot more similar to machines than we may like to admit. One way is in that we learn from the thousands of inputs we get throughout our day. One thing we learn from that is what it means to beautiful, in often highly unrealistic and narrow minded form. I call on you to help reduce the harmful data points out in the world by letting your beautiful be seen unfiltered unedited in the world for others to join you in contributing to a culture of honest true beauty
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You don’t always have the ability to consistently put out the greatest 4K ultra HD 3D film of all time out but that doesn’t mean that your craft isn’t worth creating because it’s shot on home video. Take what you have at hand and start expressing yourself before you feel ready to. You’ll learn so much in the process that when you do have the perfect materials and opportunities at hand, you’ll be all the more ready. Success is where opportunity meets preparation.
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Staring into a screen all day to get to work from the comfort of your own home means having to be extra intentional in taking care of your own eye health. Here are little tricks to keep those eyes moving, seeing, and comfy as well as learning to incorporate physical activity into your day despite being glued to your desk.
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A reminder to you and myself that everyone isn’t going to like us, at times for reasons far beyond our control. So we act on what we can control to resolve the situation and accept what we can’t. It’s hard not to take things personally even after you realize it may have nothing to do with you; even though it hurts, doesn’t mean you have to continue to suffer.
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Using self awareness and regular reflection so that you can truly live a life with #noregrets. Life is long enough if you live it right but only you can define what right looks for you. Happiness and fulfillment are the measures of success. How do you measure up?
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Therapy isn’t one size fits all. Your experiences and your mind is unique and deserves catered care and attention. A poor therapy experience doesn’t mean it doesn’t work! Prioritize mental health care as preventative, rather than reactive, medicine if you can access it so we can all work to a better, more holistic world with fewer stigmas and self care that actually cares for the self.
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Yes, even if you’re Black. No, it doesn’t need to be SPF 100. Yes, even indoors. No, SPF in your makeup doesn’t count. Just please wear sunscreen-mineral or chemical or mixed-for your health, for your safety, and for that forever youthful glow. I AM NOT AN ESTHETICIAN or DERMATOLOGIST also, CHEMICAL exfoliant is what I suggest whereas I mistakenly briefly said physical exfoliant in the episode
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There’s no need to clap for meeting a basic standard of human rights as if it’s an act of kindness or a luxury. Universal rights and access should never been up for debate in the first place. Diversity initiatives may be analogous to getting an invite to the party but I need the whole party to be rethought if you want my presence to be more than a photo op.
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We all want so badly to be heard, listened to, and validated within ourself and with others. Yet? We rarely give ourselves the space to spend time alone with our thoughts, to fully experience our emotions as they are, or to let others explain their perspectives fully before we jump in to defend, deny, or disagree. Maybe, just listen?
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People will hide offensive language and demeaning comments under the escape of “issa joke” only to gaslight you in exchange for you addressing an important fact: hurtful humor isn’t funny.
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After graduating, it was hard for me to understand “who I am” now that my identity wasn’t associated with the things I’d accomplish in school. It dawned on me that there’s no need to panic in scrambling to figure out who I am because who I am is already here and now; if anything, it’s just to make that explicit.
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It would be really unfortunate to spend your whole life chasing a salary only to realize that the you sacrificed the things the salary was supposed to allow you to buy to get it: happiness, time with people you care about the most, and freedom. I prefer to live the life I truly want to or die trying because that sounds like a lot of a better deal than to do lying.
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I signed up for a matchmaking service to video chat strangers. A solution to a global pandemic reminiscent of ‘00s internet chatting. Some people overestimate what power being in person has while missing the grounds and foundations for lasting meaningful relationships that can happen from anywhere in the world.
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Stop policing women for crimes that they didn’t commit while holding men off from the consequences of the ones that they did
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Sitting or travelling alone can feel really uncomfortable because you might think others are concerned with what you’re doing, or not doing, way more than they actually do. They don’t care! And if they do, who are you to be in their personal business: their thoughts. Let go, have fun, and do what you want that makes you happy because life is way too short to be constricted to living a life that’s palatable to strangers.
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Taking the time to realize that content creation speaks to me as a lifetime mission
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Money, beyond 70k apparently, doesn’t buy happiness. So, why then we often sacrifice our happiness to pursue it?
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I’m making progress in learning to ask for help from the right places. It’s a practice of both humility and courage.
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Time management is an artful science. Using an urgent/important Eisenhower matrix can help you differentiate between what to do, decide, delegate, and delete. But how do you determine what’s important in the first place?
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justdoit
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“Why am I like this?” and other questions I have yet to find a whole answer to.
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Are you a big fish in a small pond kind of person or a relatively small fish in a big pond? We expand to fit the size of our beliefs but sometimes we can purposely limit ourselves for the sake of comfort and false confidence. There’s risk in pushing ourselves into new environments and responsibilities but in that risk, there is reward.
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Talking to or in front of other people can be stressful and intimidating. When you aim to get your point across well rather than get your point across perfectly, you can focus on articulating yourself rather than getting hung up on any mistakes that you make along the way.
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A recap of the things I’ve learned from peers and recruiters about preparing for the Product Manager interview process.
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My body force quit on me last night after about 10 days of 16 hour work days. Don’t wait for your body to tell you when to take care of it. Be proactive about your wellbeing.
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I loved art as a kid but stopped when it felt ‘too’ emotional. I’m hoping to get a great job so I can afford to make the art that meaningfully connects with the experiences of kids like me
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People will give you all kinds of advice but they’re speaking from their own experiences of what they know to be true. Don’t let other people’s perception of facts become what limits your from your own potential. Make waves and make a way where others see no way!
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LinkedIn has connected me with some dope people that I really didn’t know were out there like this. So blessed to have the opportunity to build relationships with people that I would never cross paths with otherwise.
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You can’t please em all, use Product Management skills to prioritize what feedback and constructive criticism to incorporate into your self development
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People want to add things into the world to have their name on without critically considering the value that’s added by their efforts and costs invested. Solve problems in the world more than you make products in the world just for the sake of it.
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Don’t Let imposter syndrome make you decide that you don’t know enough to contribute. Either you can provide more value than you perceive or you can iterate and get feedback on how to improve. You win either way so tell self doubt to sit down and you speak up!
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People love validation and compliments. Actively seek out the opposite, even if it’s initially uncomfortable or painful, and that’s how you’ll improve in leaps and bounds.
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Do good work but also be a good person and there will be plenty of people willing to support you. Don’t overthink strategy and branding. Just be yourself! Here’s the recording of the amazing Product Buds branding event https://youtu.be/o69WIEHbOB8
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I’m in a full time Software Engineering bootcamp, creative director of a Product Management community Product Buds, working part time as a graphic designer and public speaking coach, and doing full time interview prep. Learning how to prioritize is part of my dream job - Product Manager - but also essential to life in general as I balance several meaningful competing priorities
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I’ve double my connections, attend webinars or informational interviews almost daily, and have many new friends and great resources...all with people that I’ve never met in person because of LinkedIn’s algorithms and current content undersaturated state.
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Reflecting on my first few months of coding, I am encouraging others to ignore imposter syndrome, feel the fear of failing and owe it to yourself to see who you can come out as on the other side of those failures because of growth, and prioritize progress over perfection.
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Imposter syndrome makes me doubt whether I am worthy of calling myself a full stack software engineer despite the fact that I prove my ability every day during my 9 hours of bootcamp daily. It wasn’t until I really took in the full user flow of my website that I realized that I need to acknowledge my ability and not wait for some external imaginary authority to crown me a software developer.
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It may seem like a lot to be doing labs and assignments before the lecture when the lecture is supposed to be the one teaching you the material, right? As much as reading beforehand seems like double work, if you realize how every exposure to the material is an opportunity to learn and have data about your own weaknesses and strengths, you can understand how early exposure and sustained practice can be better than single instance exposure and cram “mastery.”
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Background on how I found the Flatiron School through LinkedIn and passed their cultural and technical interview to begin with their software engineering immersive coding bootcamp experience in Houston, Texas.
I found out about the program and immediately applied. I was accepted about a week later and decided to end my gap year in Kenya to move to Houston where I knew no one. I borrowed a laptop to apply to the school and had to suddenly buy a computer to meet their machine requirements when I was accepted. I faced a lot of personal difficulties such as financial struggles, homelessness, loneliness in a new place, and technical difficulties. The program manager was kind enough to offer deferment when she realized what I was facing but I refused to let surrounding circumstances dictate my future. I am capable and committed so I have committed, persisted, and continued to be in the program with my original start cohort.
It is my second week and we’re already on SQL! After doing a coding challenge yesterday on the Ruby we learned last week. I’m very excited and I’m even more excited to have this technology podcast series to share my experience with others who may be interested in pivoting their lives in a few short months of long days via a programming bootcamp.
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All names are worthy of being pronounced and spelled correctly, not just rich famous people or dead white guys.
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Change the way you view New Years resolutions and start setting realistic, incremental goals any day of the year.
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garyveechallenge you will not be any different on an arbitrary winter day (January 1st) than you are now if you don’t take action in the present to build the bridge between the person you have been and the person that you would like to be.
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Telling someone to smile may seem like a positive suggestion but more often than not, it’s more harmful than helpful. This directive is often aimed at women, especially women of color and women in the workplace, as a way to perpetuate harmful narratives about marginalized groups. Think carefully when you tell someone to smile and if their happiness is of great concern to you, be intentional about solving the problem not just masking it with a plastic, taped on solution of a smile.
This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/phyllis69/message