A New Grip: the podcast: Recent Episodes
Mike and Melissa
The Trial of All Eternity The courtroom is packed. The case is a slam dunk. Not a shred of evidence was missed. The investigator did his job well and found every clue, every indication of the defendant’s intentions, selfishness, sinfulness. The case is airtight. The guilty will go away...for all eternity. There’s a large contingent of the fallen. They sneer and smile maliciously in thought of what’s to come. Justice will be done. The prosecutor has everything needed to present the case to the judge. It should be over quickly. The evidence is overwhelming. The defendant walks into the courtroom, beside his paraclete, the Holy Spirit, and unexpectedly he’s clothed in a spotless robe as white as snow, a robe of righteousness. The fallen stand and point while shouting, “Take that off! You can’t wear that!”, but the robe remains. “All rise.” The judge steps into the room, clothed in the same robe of righteousness. He sits on the judgment seat. The gavel is struck. Court is in session. The prosecutor opens and presents all of the damning evidence. There’s no escaping, there’s no question of the guilt. Now it’s the defense's turn. No rebuttal is offered. Instead, exhibit A is presented. The prosecution knew about it, but maybe didn’t want to mention it. An account of the cross is read. But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it— the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God's righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus. - Romans 3:21-26 Then an explanation is made of the great exchange that took place on calvary. Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the perfect lamb, took on the sinfulness of the defendant, paying the full price, and then as if that wasn’t enough, he attributed, he clothed the defendant with His very own righteousness, making the defendant perfect, as Jesus is, in the eyes of God the Father. The courtroom falls silent. All eyes turn towards the Judge, the creator of the Universe, the Alpha and Omega. The gavel swings down, “Not Guilty!” The courtroom erupts into a cacophony of sound. Cheers are raised from one side as the defendant is ushered out of the divine courtroom, destined to live out eternity in Heaven in the presence of God. On the other side of the courtroom is outrage. Another one got away because of faith in the blood of Jesus.
That defendant is you and me.
Covered by Christ's Righteousness You have been acquitted. When Jesus went to the cross he died for our sins. Our guilt is removed, but then He also covers us with His righteousness. Which is a very good thing because we can’t dwell in God’s perfect and holy presence without it. “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—” - Philippians 3:8-9 We have no righteousness of our own. We can't work hard enough to earn it, make enough of the right investments to afford it or live well enough to deserve it. It is a gift given to us through faith. Trying to do Good Under Your On Power If I just try to “be good” I’ll never make it. I’ll never be righteous. I’m going to slip-up and fall short. Romans 3:23 says it, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
Our purpose is to glorify God. We get caught up chasing purposes of this world and find ourselves unfulfilled and trying to fill a God-sized void in ways we were never meant to. In this episode Mike and Melissa discuss the harm these "false" purposes had on their lives and marriage and what it takes to move from these empty pursuits to true, eternal purpose that brings joy and peace that transcend understanding.
The first 16 years of marriage was darkened by pornography, but everything changed on our Exodus Day. In this episode of A New Grip Podcast Mike talks about the history of his addiction, finally and honestly surrendering it at the foot of the cross, God's redemption, and the new normal that has evolved over the last four years to keep him porn free.
In our first podcast episode we discuss a recent slip-up and the process of working through it towards reconciliation.
Show Music
Mission Ready by Ketsa
Produced by Mike Anderson
Dealing With Slip-ups Last week I had to confess to Melissa I had slipped up. Although I wasn’t looking at porn, I was in places I shouldn’t have been, places I have been careful to avoid. But during a lapse in judgment and a vulnerable moment, I allowed myself to compromise. A slip up or relapse years ago would have sent us spiraling downwards for many weeks or months, but things have changed tremendously over the past few years. The initial shock of confession causes pain and lots of questions, but today’s podcast shares how to limit the magnitude and tremors from that confession. The after effects can shake your ground and cause you to feel unsteady all over again, but with some intentionality and a whole lot of prayer, we have experienced how to put some boundaries on how much control it has over our lives and marriage. But it requires grace and work for both partners. START WITH PRAYER Slip ups and confession are rough. It opens the door to a closet full of emotions which can come spilling out at once. Even some emotions you thought you had dealt with can come squeezing out of a corner of the closet you thought you had already cleaned out. So, as you can see, the potential for damage is high. Emotions, especially those initial emotions, are deceiving and can steer the ship if you let them. We had many years of shaming, yelling, and escaping because we tried to steer that ship ourselves.We now have experienced a lot more victory by giving God the command of the ship. By far, the single most important thing when dealing with a slip up or relapse is prayer. We cannot emphasize that enough. Pray before you confess to your spouse, pray with your spouse as you have that initial conversation, and continue in an attitude of prayer as you process, respond, and make decisions. In this way we are intentionally inviting God into the process. We can almost guarantee that reacting with emotion and trying to deal with this on your own ability will get you off course. Melissa asked God to be “the authority over her emotions,” which helped maintain an environment where we could process and make a plan for moving forward and end the day feeling like we were still “on the same team.” MINIMIZE THE DAMAGE A confession can make the spouse feel as if someone pulled the rug out from under them. It can catch them off guard and cause fear to come rushing back in like a tidal wave. There is certain to be questions and things to work through. But it is important for you both to remember who your enemy is. It is not your spouse. Satan wants to take this one difficult situation and magnify it so that it causes the maximum amount of damage possible. He wants you to forget anything good that God has been doing in your lives and fixate on this as much and long as possible. He will do whatever he can to cause a wedge between you and drive it in as deep as you allow him to. As you are processing through everything, listen for those thoughts that are obviously not from God. We have chosen to outlaw the words, “always” “never.” We have recognized the enemy loves to whisper lies like, “You will never be very far away from all of this.” 2 Corinthians 10:5 advises us to, “capture every thought and make it obey Christ.” Grab hold of those lies and ask Jesus to replace them with His truth and peace. Be careful to avoid any of the strategies Satan uses to take more ground in your marriage. The slip up was a loss, but he will push to make this the greatest loss he can. Push back by avoiding these things:
SHAMING
Melissa had a hard time wanting me to feel as badly as she was feeling, so shaming would be a frequent weapon. It is so damaging and keeps you stuck on a toxic merry-go-round of shaming and escaping. It makes it impossible to feel like you are on the...
Despite the fact the Bible tells us we are in a war, in ongoing combat against an enemy that has studied us and tirelessly attacks where he finds us vulnerable, we go about our lives as if this is not the truth. God’s Word tells us this IS happening around us and against us. Whether or not we protect ourselves and fight back with the divine weapons God makes available, is entirely up to us.