CJ Liu interviews Joseph Cardillo, Md an expert training on his book “The 12 Rules of Attention: How to Avoid Screw-Ups, Free Up Headspace, Do More and Be More at Work”.

Part 1: What’s the Difference Between Attention, Mindfulness, and Awareness?Attention is often misunderstand an in common vernacular is conflated with awareness, and mindfulness. The passage below pulled from Dr. Cardillo’s book explains the difference

Mindfulness: Mindfulness can be understood as largely relating to energy. In this way, mindfulness itself is nonreactive to whatever you’re observing. Think about this: mindfulness is not just about being present. Rather, mindfulness is about increasing the energy (currency) of your presence. For example, when you give sound more presence, you are making it crisper and sharper, of higher definition. The energy of mindfulness does that for your experiences. Think of increasing the brightness on your cell phone flashlight by sliding the brightness bar upward to a stronger setting. Similarly, increasing your presence by boosting its energy (mindfulness) will sharpen your focus. When your focus feels too mellow, use your mindfulness mechanism to boost it.
Attention: Psychologists define attention as what (data) you are putting in your working memory (fast, short-term memory bank) to activate procedures to achieve imminent goals. Although there are several different elements in our attention’s chain of command, here we are referring primarily to selective attention. Your brain’s attentional system is an electrochemical mechanism. It operates like an ultra sophisticated fetching system, targeting a piece of information, bringing it into your working memory, and connecting it to other information you have stored there to create processes to accomplish tasks. Your mechanism for selective attention gives you say in which details to regard and which to ignore.
Awareness: Awareness is a consciousness that extends beyond the periphery of your attentional spotlight, and you have it at your disposal. Often, however, you simply aren’t aware that you are aware. In attention training, our job is to discover more ways to use this machine to our advantage. When driving, you can be aware, for instance, of a hairpin turn coming up in two miles and yet focus your attention on navigating through traffic directly ahead. As you drive, details become available to you that the turn is imminent. Your brain’s awareness mechanism almost instantly calibrates your attention to focus on the turn. Expectation, predictability, and surprise are all influenced by your awareness. Because you are aware of certain details, you may be surprised if something different from what your expectations are set for occurs. You are less surprised (or maybe not at all surprised) if you are able to accurately predict from the details. Your ability to attend advantageously toward goals is also affected by these variables. Later in this chapter you will see why and how you can use this predisposition throughout the day to more effortlessly hit your goals and keep your good vibes flowing.

Dr. Cardillo explains that 96% of the time are brain is on autopilot and we mindless execute actions. CJ provides a recent example of her unconscious behavior.

What’s the Difference Between Attention, Mindfulness, and Awareness? : YouTube VideoPart 2: How to Rewire your Brain to Optimize ProductivityDr. Cardillo explains how you can use awareness to be conscious of the thoughts, actions, and mood that your memory will fetch.

Once you identify your current default “robotic state”, then you can build a mental visualization of what you’d like to do instead. This would be identifying your current behavior and then the new behavior and creating new circuitry, which happens through cementing in the new behaviors, thoughts, and emotions. Realistically, it’s impossible to get it right the first time. However, after each incident we can refine and retain our wiring by increasing the energy (mindfulness) we apply both in analyzing past events as well as reacting during the actual event.

Another aspect of retraining your brain is to recognize how our brain is programmed to create shortcuts and less aware of our day-to-day reality. In part 3, Dr. Cardillo shares several ways your brain go into auto pilot.

How to Rewire your Brain to Optimize Productivity: YouTube VideoPart 3: What are Brain Shortcuts?Even when we try to rewire our brain we are working against blindness created by our brain’s desire to create shortcuts. The passage below pulled from Dr. Cardillo’s book explains the multitude of ways our brain loses the forest from the trees:

Change blindness can affect our gut feelings, which can slant our attention. For example, we tend to dismiss information that we may see as against our “tribe” or our beliefs. Hence we reject
corporate, political, cultural, departmental, and regional information that we feel cuts against theories or ways of thinking that are important to us. Yet this can actually prevent us from making good choices. Whenever you are tempted to dismiss an offer automatically, you should consider these potentially harmful tendencies and ask yourself, “What am I dismissing here? And why?” This approach can often get you on track.
In-attentional blindness, just because information enters your field of vision doesn’t mean that you’ve “seen” it. You need to focus on it. In fact, as we have been saying, our brains are taking in a massive amount of information as we approach any task, and we can only pay attention to a very small amount of it. Some of the left-out information can turn out to be important to our decisions, and so we err.
The miser brain describes your brain’s tendency to want to be a cognitive miser, to problem-solve quickly, relying on shortcuts to use the least mental effort and bypassing your thinking process. So for a multitude of reasons—including times when you are feeling low energy, don’t want to think too much, or don’t want to rattle your emotions or another person’s emotions—your decisions are apt to take the quickest, easiest trail. This comes at a cost. For one, fast-tracked decisions calculated by your brain’s miser mode can also cause you to miss relevant information, focus.
Priming is an unconscious connection to external stimuli (words, images, sounds, and so on), memory, and experiences. It occurs when exposure to certain details activates your responses due to your prior experiences. Priming works on you just like a remote control and it happens under your radar.

What are Brain Shortcuts?: YouTube VideoPart 4: What’s the Difference Between Broad and Narrow Awareness?Dr. Joseph Cardillo explains that one of the ways we can train our brain to pick up more information is to build the capacity of our brain to shift from narrow to broad.

He explains that we shift our focus from broad to narrow and back again constantly throughout the day. Think of it as adjusting a camera lens back and forth. You can peer at an entire baseball team positioned across the field, or you can tighten up and choose to zero in on just one player. You utilize the function whenever you scroll on your word processing screen to locate a specific print font and size, select it and then check out how it looks in your document.

Knowing when to concentrate or open your focus effectively isn’t a question of putting this function to work more often. Rather, it’s about consciously shifting when it will make a difference.
One of primary ways to hold both a narrow and broad view is to create a balanced state of energy. Dr. Cardillo shares one of his favorite tips is to use music to either pump you up or calm you down so that your energy can be balanced.

In the last segment, Dr. Joseph Cardillo talks about bias, which is another way in which our brain can limit our awareness.

What’s the Difference Between Broad and Narrow Awareness?: YouTube VideoPart 5: Confirmation Bias and Your BrainDr. Joseph Cardillo explains that the different ways that are brain interjects bias in our thinking.

Halo effect You may see, for example, one attractive quality in an individual, and then that triggers you to look for others.

Bandwagon Effect At times we find ourselves jumping on board when and where most people in our peer group or our culture—workplace and otherwise—seem to be opining on a certain issue.

Confirmation Bias Known as confirmation bias, this tendency makes certain individuals become overly defensive when they are made aware of a potential risk in the way their actions are being conceived and conducted.

Optimism bias has us thinking we are less likely to experience a negative event or outcome to what we do. The phrase “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade” captures the more general meaning of optimism bias as a sort of positive thinking.

Confirmation Bias and Your Brain: YouTube Videohttps://youtu.be/mWYRusXB3wYhttps://youtu.be/mWYRusXB3wY

More on Joseph CardilloJoseph Cardillo, PhD, is national leader in holistic healthcare. He is the best-selling author of several books in the fields of health,
mind-body-spirit, and psychology. His books include The 12 Rules of Attention: How to Avoid Screw-ups, Free Up Headspace, Do More and Be More at Work; Body Intelligence: Harness Your Body’s Energies for Your Best Life; Can I Have Your Attention: How to Think Fast, Find Your Focus and Sharpen Your Concentration; and the body energy classic, Be Like Water.

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CJ Liu interviews Don Miguel Ruiz Jr. on his book “The Seven Secrets to Healthy, Happy Relationships.”

Part 1: How to Practice Present Moment Awareness Miguel shares how his life has changed during COVID-19 and how his deep presence to “what is” shaped his experience and his ability to shift and adopt. Miguel uses the example of a chess player that maps out all the moves before he makes a move, and how COVID has caused us to shift out of expected outcomes. We have been forced to be in synchronicity to what is happening around us. Miguel had to miss running a half-marathon he had trained for months for.

On the family front, Miguel had to focus on fathering two teenagers including an autistic son, as well as his Dad that was immune compromised. Like many, Miguel had many losses. He lost three uncles and his community of friends lost businesses and jobs. Miguel shared how he’s navigated his path during these times and questions he focused on during these challenging times.

1) What are my priorities? What is the most important thing to me? What is my main purpose?

2) What can I control?

3) How do I shift and adapt? What must I let go of in order to move forward?

How to Practice Present Moment Awareness: YouTube Video Part 2: Will Four Agreements Free or Limit You From Love? When Miguel doesn’t live in alignment with these agreements does he beat himself up and make these four agreements be conditions for loving himself? Or does he unconditionally love himself regardless of what other’s/he expects of him?

The current world has become full of division and culture wars. During these times, we can get lost in what Miguel refers to as our own domestication. Domestication is the desire that we love ourselves and others when they meet our expectations, and punish others when they don’t. He offers the following introspection to determine if you are creating for yourself or others conditions for love:

I’m right and you are wrong
I stand in judgment of you (name calling)
I am better than you (hierarchical)
I/They have to do x (vs. wanting to do).

When you contrast yourself to the other, then it may call from some healing work to move from placing yourself separate from to accepting others as they are and allowing yourself/them to be free as you/they are.

Michael steps CJ through a healing process of gaining awareness of her attachments and the following steps:

Become aware of how you confuse “who you are” with “what you know”
Gain awareness of how your attachments have created your reality
Stop creating your identity based on the opinions and judgments of others around you
Let go of the fear of what you are without your beliefs
Make new Agreements that are more in line with your true Authentic Self
Forgive yourself for decisions you made that harm you or others.

Will Four Agreements Free or Limit You From Love?: YouTube Video More on Don Miguel Ruiz Jr. At the age of 14, don Miguel Jr. apprenticed to his father don Miguel Sr. and his grandmother, Madre Sarita. From that early age, he was called upon to translate Madre Sarita’s prayers, lectures and workshops from Spanish into English. In this way, through constant repetition and review, he learned the content of her teachings in both languages. Through interpreting for Madre Sarita, don Miguel Jr. came to understand the power of faith. He saw first-hand how she manifested her intent to heal people, both physically and spiritually. don Miguel Jr.’s apprenticeship lasted 10 years. When he reached his mid-20’s, his father intensified his training. At the apex of this power journey don Miguel said to his eldest son, “Find your way out. Go home and master Death by becoming alive.”

For the past 13 years, don Miguel Jr. has applied the lessons learned from his father and grandmother to define and enjoy his own personal freedom while achieving peace with all of creation. Today, he is married and has two young children. As a Nagual, he continues to pass along the wisdom and the tools of his family’s traditions in helping others to achieve their own personal freedom and optimal physical and spiritual health in his lectures and workshops. Miguel Jr. has taken the lessons of his father and grandmother, and discovered his own personal path to freedom. Being able to apply his teachings to the world around him gave Miguel Jr. a new understanding of the lessons his father and grandmother had passed onto him, once again giving him the desire to pass on this awareness through his books.

He is the author of the books: “The Five Levels of Attachment”, “Living a Life of Awareness”, “The Mastery of Self”, and “The Don Miguel Ruiz’s Little Book of Wisdom”. He also co-authored the book, “The Seven Secrets to Healthy, Happy Relationships” with his dear friend, HeatherAsh Amara. He now helps others discover optimal physical and spiritual health through his books, so that they may achieve their own personal freedom.

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CJ Liu interviews Hilary Barrett about her book, “I Ching: Walking your Path, Creating Your Future”.

Part 1: How Does I-Ching Work? Hilary shares the history of the I-Ching and how her relationship with the I-Ching started. While there are many ways to access the I-Ching (online, coins, beads, yarrow stick) and various divination tools available to us (Tarot, Ruins, etc), Hilary explains that the 3000 year old history, the many available interpretations, and the many people consulting the I-Ching done every day make the I-Ching a divination tool with collective resonance not normally found in other tools.

How Does I-Ching Work?: YouTube Video Part 2: Reading I-Ching Coins While there are many ways to access the I-Ching (online, coins, beads, yarrow stick) and various divination tools available to us (Tarot, Ruins, etc), Hilary explains that the 3000 year old history (see Part 1 for introduction of I-Ching), the many available interpretations, and the many people consulting the I-Ching done every day make the I-Ching a divination tool with collective resonance not normally found in other tools.

Step 1: Question

Each reading starts with a question. Excerpts from Hilary’s online book share examples of the types of things you may use the I-Chng for in making decisions, solving problems, gaining understanding, or realizing intentions. Hilary humorously shares that you can ask the I-Ching anything from the simple (e.g.- should I buy this software that’s on sale) to the deep (e.g.- what do I need to know about my soul’s mission).

Decisions (‘What if I take this job?’ ‘What if I don’t?’)

Solving problems (‘How to handle this?’ ‘How can I help?’)

Understanding (‘Why do I react that way?’)

Realising intentions (‘How can I…?’)

If you want to ask something more open ended, Hilary offers these questions to start your inquiry

What do I need to understand about…?

What best to do about…?

How can I…?

What if I…?

The next piece is using your divination tools (coins, sticks, beads) and pulling out sequences ranging from 6-8

Step 2: Consult your Divination Tool (if coins)

CREATE THE HEXAGRAM: https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/learn/beginners/3-how-to-cast-a-reading/casting-a-hexagram-with-3-coins/

Each hexagram is made up of 6 lines (either a broken yin line of a solid yang line)

Your first toss goes on the bottom of the 6 lines and each coin toss adds a line above it with a numerical value. If the value is a 6 or 9, it means that you will have 2 hexagrams (vs. 1). You can use the table below to determine if you have a 6-9 for each of the 6 lines and a solid/broken likne

3 heads is a 9 and a changing line from yang to yin

2 head| 1 tail is a 8 yin (broken line)

1 head|2 Tails is a 7 yang line (solid line)

3 tails is a 6 and a changing line from yin to yang

FIND HEXAGRAM ON TABLE (https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/learn/beginners/3-how-to-cast-a-reading/look-up-your-answer/)

Once you get 6 lines and the 1-2 HEXAGRAMS look at the rows (lower) trigram for your first hexagram and the vertical columns for your second hexagram.

Here was CJ’s reading from the YouTube show:

Line 1 8| Line 2 8| Line 3 7 -15 hexagram

Line 4 8| Line 5 6| Line 6 6 – 53 hexagram

(15.5.6 – 6 old yin becomes young yang and 9 old yang becomes young yin changing line)

Reading I-Ching Coins: YouTube Video Part 3: How to Interpret I-Ching Hexagrams We continue from learning about the I-Ching and how to use it (Part 1) to doing a reading (Part 2) and now how to interpret the I-Ching reading we just did. During the interview Hilary explains how she would interpret the reading from Part 2.

Question: What additional things do I need to know about my soul’s mission (work)?

Hexagram 1: 15.5.6 (Integrity with changing lines 5 and 6) and Hexagram 2: 53 (Gradual progress).

Hilary steps us through the format she uses in her book:

Key questions: If you were conversing with the I-Ching these may be the questions it would ask.

Oracle: There is a one sentence italics which is the Chinese translation into English. What follows is advice she has given to her clients over a decades worth of reading the I-Ching for clients.

Image: This is an image that uses nature as a guide. For example, a mountain under earth… what would that mean?

Sequence: The hexagram proceeding often offers a context with where you are within a transition. It is what is happening before you arrive at this Hexagram.

Pair: This is the antonym or opposite of this energy.

Lines: Hilary explains that this is the crux of the reading and gives insight into the situation.

She walks us through the 2nd hexagram and then at the relationship between these 2 hexagrams.

To get your own reading you can go to Hilary’s website https://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/reading/

How to Interpret I-Ching Hexagram: YouTube Video More on Hilary Barrett Hilary Barrett lives in a small village in Oxfordshire with her husband David. Clarity has been her work since the year 2000: writing, doing readings, creating courses and other I Ching offerings. Everything she can think of to help you connect with the oracle. I’m an I Ching diviner who’s also become an author and teacher along the way. When asked what she does, Hilary responds, “I help people have conversations with truth.”

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What is Oneness? // Part 1 of 3 CJ Liu interviews NY Times Best selling authors, Eben Alexander, MD and Karen Newell about their book “Living in a Mindful Universe“. Eben shares the scientific research and the in-depth report on the neocortex exploring his near death experience (NDE) that led him to finding other ways (aside from dying) to replicate the transcendental experience he felt. He describes this as an experience of oneness, which felt sacred and that we are “one mind”. Karen shares the beautiful story with how they met, and how Eben described his experience of love to be too powerful to be felt on the earthly plane.

Experience Heaven Through Sound Healing // Part 2 of 3 Eben shares the scientific research on “oneness” and the sense of oneness when he experienced his near death experience (NDE). Karen explains the connection of oneness to the heart and how it is one heart, one mind. Eben and Karen share how brainwaves work in stimulating sounds in the right and left ears, which create a “wavering sound” or wobble. Karen reveals this wobbling sound is the same sound found in Tibetan healing bowls.

Do We Have Free Will or Is Everything Predetermined? // Part 3 of 3 In segment three, Eben and Karen discuss free will. Do we have it? Eben explains that when we are acting out of ego that we are not operating out of free will. However, Eben shares that when we are in “oneness” that we are not in ego. He explains that oneness goes way beyond ego. When someone is in this state it has similarity to a placebo effect. This oneness helps explains healing miracles. For example, people have had near-death experiences (NDE) where they started out with cancer or had been in water for 30 minutes, yet come back fully healed. He explains that this oneness heals all. Our higher minds are guiding us all the time. Karen re-frames our way of thinking about being in oneness as our sacred responsibility.

More on Eben Alexander, MD and Karen Newell A graduate of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, Dr. Alexander received his medical degree from Duke University School of Medicine in 1980. He taught neurosurgery at Harvard Medical School in Boston for fifteen years, and has performed over 4,000 neurosurgical operations. During his academic career he authored or co-authored over 150 chapters and papers in peer reviewed journals, authored or edited five books on radiosurgery and neurosurgery, and made over 230 presentations at conferences and medical centers around the world.

Karen Newell has spent a lifetime seeking wisdom through esoteric teachings and firsthand experience exploring realms of consciousness. She empowers others by demonstrating how to connect to inner guidance, achieve inspiration, improve wellness and develop intuition. She is co-founder of Sacred Acoustics, and co-author with Dr. Eben Alexander of Living in a Mindful Universe (Rodale, 2017).

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“Learn why achieving enlightenment is a story. Paul Selig shares some of the main points in “The Book of Mastery” and how his own life path has been affected by the work he channels. Plus, we’ll talk about what it means to be Divine, and why suffering is only optional.

Video Highlights: What happens when Paul channels? What happens during a live channeling session? * 4:37 What happens when Paul becomes a channel? * 7:59 What comes through during a weekend session with Paul? * 10:52 What happens during an attunement in a group session? * 16:38 What happens to attendees after a weekend session when they learn an incantation?

What does it mean to be Divine? How do you find your Eternal Self? * 17:54 What does it mean to be Divine? The real Self, the incarnated self that knows who and what she is beyond the expression she’s taken in form. The Eternal self who is always true that is who you are. Everything else is an idea of who you are that you have appropriated to agreed to depending on your birth, your family of origin, culture you were born into, and the time you take a body. You believe yourself to be a certain way in agreement to what you were taught. This is an aspect of you, but it not the truth of who you are. When you claim the truth of who you are, you self identify as the Divine Self, Eternal Self, Manifest Truth, the One who can be known at this level and it becomes your expression. The expression of your true self in manifestation is how you serve. * 19:45 What does it feel like for Paul when he is his Eternal Self? * 24:03 How do you get in this state of Grace? It’s choice, and allowance, and agreement to be at this level. If you agree to be at this level, you call to yourself the circumstance that allow you to know it. You are in charge of it. Some of this is not about being subjugated by your emotional self to dictate who you are and how you have all your experiences.

Why achieving Enlightenment is a story? * 35:18 Why achieving enlightenment is a “story”? Why being “spiritual” can be a story? How you don’t have to achieve anything to be of service? * 37:50 What happens when you don’t know how you serve? “How you serve is how you are most fully realized as your true self”. The True self is the Self that calls itself into manifestation, not the small self that thinks it’s supposed to look a certain way. * 39:29 What is spiritual materialism? Why are ideal of enlightenment is the small Self’s sense of what that means. You can’t know it, as it is a state of being, and you can’t know what it is until you are there. * 40:31 What is the point of our spiritual journey? Is it all about feeling “good” all the time?

How can you shift your relationship to pain and suffering? * 25:46 Why college was Paul’s spiritual job? Why teaching can be an act of love? * 28:02 How did Paul navigate a challenging time in his life? How can letting go leave you to feeling less fear in your life? * 41:37 What is the role of suffering? Guides: “We would like to say this. The idea of suffering of having value must be released. There is really no value to suffering. Things may be learned in different ways, when you encounter growth you may choose how you encounter it. And when you realize yourself as not needing what you thought you did. Most of you will find the release of pain is immediate, but the question is “can you name yourself as the one that is happy or is in joy? Can you know yourself as that of what you are”. The moment you can, it can be claimed. Aspiring to it in some ways discounts the experience you are in now. And by doing that, you remove yourself from what you say you want. If we could tell you one thing about Joy, it is an option that may be known and expressed through as is truth, as is love, as is being known by your Source. These can be aligned too, in choice ad in willingness to release the things that you have utilized to separate yourselves from. * 44:06 Is suffering optional? It’s about how you claim your experience and what you were taught about your experience to be. you assume what you were supposed to have based on what you were taught you should feel and you came to agreement with this on a collective level. * 45:17 Are we attached to pain? * 45:47 How can we view death in a different way? Paul channels wisdom about how to think about his dog’s death: By understanding that she (Paul’s dog) needed to go, that the loss was my (Paul) own. I was the one in pain, because I wasn’t getting what I wanted, even if keeping her alive would require her to suffer longer. The realization that nothing is permanent is an enormous lesson for all of you. When you have a loved one that crosses what you are really releasing is your attachment to him or her on this plane not the True Self who is always somewhere and in expression with itself somewhere as well. When you release who you think you are and allow the true Self to be known, there is a similar passage. You relieve yourself of your achievements or what has been said about you, the relationship you had last, or may have next. Once you understand that who and what you are is of the Divine, you are here to learn. Everything can be learned and no experience needs to be discounted here. You can learn in different ways. We do not discount pain, we simply say it’s not a good prescription. * 50:41 Why life is it about choosing love?

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The Book of Mastery: The Mastery Trilogy: Book I (Paul Selig Series)

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What would it be like living in a spiritual community? Since the late 1960’s Swami Asha Praver has been living and now heads up one of the Ananda Communities located in a 900 acred property in Palo, Alto along with 200 other residents. Join CJ as she dives into the ins and outs of spiritual communal living. Hear from resident David Eby on what it’s like living in the community and raising a family.

Show Highlights: * What is a spiritual community? How does work look like? How does money work? * What are some of the benefits and downside of living in community? * Why does one choose to live in a community? What is it like to move your family and children to a community?

Blog Post Why live in spiritual community? (source: http://www.anandapaloalto.org/)

“One of the fundamental needs of our age is for putting down roots again. We have extended ourselves too far outward, away from the Self within, and away from the natural rhythms of the planet on which we live. Even in our outward, human associations we have lost touch with reality. The average person in America today moves fourteen times in his life—not to new homes in the same community, but to different communities altogether. Loneliness has become chronic. Friendships tend to be of the cocktail party and patio barbecue variety, and not the deep bonds that people form as a result of trials and victories shared.

We know people to smile at, but not to weep with, not to confide in, not to go to for help in times of physical, emotional, or spiritual distress. Small, spiritual communities offer a viable alternative to the depersonalizing influences of our times. People living and working together, sharing with one another on many levels of their lives, suffering, growing, learning, rejoicing, winning victories together, they develop a depth in their outward relationships as well that helps them, inwardly, to acquire spiritual understanding.

Cooperative spiritual communities provide a vital solution to one of the most pressing needs of our times—an opportunity for those who want to develop spiritually to do so in a supportive environment, and a dynamic example to the rest of the world that spiritual principles really work.” (From Swami Kriyananda‘s, The Path)

Establishing householder communities was one Yogananda’s most cherished dreams:

“To spread a spirit of world brotherhood among all peoples, and to aid in the establishment in many countries, of self-sustaining world-brotherhood colonies for plain living and high thinking.”

—Paramhansa Yogananda, Aims and Ideals

Swami Kriyananda was deeply inspired by his guru’s vision. He founded the first spiritual community in 1968 in northern California. Hundreds of people live at Ananda Village today. Since then, more communities have been established and are home to 1,000 people worldwide. Communities include: Mountain View, Sacramento, Portland, Seattle, Los Angeles, Assisi (Italy), and several communities in India (New Delhi area, Pune, and Bangalore) Ananda worldwide

Swami Kriyananda speaks on the benefits of living in spiritual community

Video| Audio (0:49)

Scenes from a recent community Open House, and excerpts from a talk by Swami Kriyananda on living in spiritual community

Video (0:14) (excepted from the complete talk above

About Our Guests Swami Asha has been a spiritual seeker since she was a young girl. In 1969 at Stanford University, she heard Swami Kriyananda speak for the first time. Instantly, she recognized him as her spiritual teacher. “I knew the moment he walked into the room that he possessed the consciousness I had long been seeking.”

She soon became a founding member of the new community Swami was starting near Nevada City, California, called Ananda Village, based on Yogananda’s dream of world brotherhood colonies for “simple living and high thinking.”

Swami Kriyananda placed Asha in the role of teaching and counseling soon after her arrival at Ananda. She also served as Swami’s correspondence secretary and personal assistant for many years.

In 1987, Swami Asha and her husband, Swami David, became spiritual directors of Ananda Palo Alto in California, where they continue to serve today.

Swami Asha is author of Swami Kriyananda As We Have Known Him, a collection of more than 200 stories by people who have been touched by his teachings and spiritual friendship, often in remarkable ways. She is also author of Loved and Protected: Stories of Miracles and Answered Prayers.

David Eby. I’ve had the great blessing to be a part of Ananda, and especially the music ministry, for the past 11 years. My wife Madhavi and I lived in the Portland Community for five years, then moved to Ananda Village in 2001.

I have been a professional cellist for many years, and now have the opportunity to serve Ananda’s music in many different areas: as a music director at the Village for the choir and community orchestra, as recording engineer and producer for Crystal Clarity, and as the music director for theAnanda Living Wisdom School.

I’ll be writing about music at Ananda, and of our family life at the Village, which includes our 5 year old daughter, Caitlin.

yoganandam #kriya yoga, #Ananda, #Swami Asha Praver

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What would heart-based New Year’s resolutions look like? Would it still just be about losing weight, and accomplishing more? What would an enlightened New Year’s Resolutions look like? Join CJ as she interviews Jennifer Louden author of ” the Life Organizer” and see what a heart-based set of resolutions may look like for you.

Show Summary * Segment 1: Questions to contemplate during the holiday season * Segment 2: 5 Heart-Based Steps to Expand Time and Increase Efficiency during your day. * Segment 3: What does a real life Shero’s Journey look like? Jennifer offers an inside look at her 23 year path of ups and downs and her own heroes journey. * Segment 4: Addressing the trilogy of time killers in our lives. How can we move away from over doing for others, perfectionism, and people pleasing this year?

Blog Post from our Guest Stop the Cycle of Over-Providing by Jennifer Louden

I define over-providing as giving more than is sustainable for you and often for the wrong reasons. Accurate but kind of bland. A better definition comes from my friend Jeanie, “Over-providing? That’s when you pouring everything into growing everybody else while withering yourself.”

Withering yourself. That’s what you do when, instead of bringing the requested two side dishes to the family holiday dinner, you show up with five sides, a salad, two pies, gravy and a ham. Withering yourself is hosting a fund-raiser, hand-crafting the food, the decorations and handling all the details, then ending up in bed with pneumonia. Withering yourself is inviting your elderly mom to move in with you, even though she has a support system and enough money for good care, and find yourself gaining weight, neglecting your creative passions, and cultivating a big ole’ grudge.

Obviously, over-providing is not in your best interests and yet we all do it, at least some of the time. Why oh why? Here are a few of our compelling reasons:

You were raised in a culture that still proclaims good women give endlessly and good men provide.
Your biology –humans are hard-wired to belong. Over-providing keeps you in the tribe.
You’re empathetic. You want to help.
You may believe what you want to give isn’t worthwhile enough so you gush like a broken fire hydrant lots of other things – money, advice, time – to make up for what you perceive you lack.
You forget you’re a human with human limits of time and energy, easy to do in these uber speedy times.
You haven’t learned (yet) to trust your self, to trust your body and heart when it says, “Enough.”

Also, over-providing can be very difficult to recognize. Look for signs like:

A hollow feeling of never getting enough done
A jittery compulsion to fix people’s pain, to do something to make it better
Resentment – everybody else gets what they want but you
Rarely focusing on your own dreams and desires
Hearing yourself say things like “When I finish ____ then I will” and “I just had to do ____ for _____ who else would?” and “If I don’t do ______ I will be a big failure, get fired and end up homeless and…”

Clearly over-providing is not the best choice for your health, your career, or your sanity. Now what to do? Sample these simplebalancing antidotes:

Write down everything you do for others in a 24 hour period.
Hard but so worthwhile.
Start the day with five minutes of extravagant self-praise.
Imagine this praise in the form of hummingbirds streaming into the back of your heart.
Navigate by desire.

Make a practice of asking, “What do I want?” or “What would I really love to do here?” Learning to know what you want, even if you can’t have it, is a life changing practice and one I teach in more depth in my book The Life Organizer.

Deputize a few beloveds to check in with before you say yes to something else.
Hearing yourself trying to talk yourself into something can be very enlightening.
Get used to saying, “Let me get back to you.”
Make a list of all the reasons you must do this. Then go down the list asking, “Is that true?”
Deepen your practice of self-trust.
When faced with a decision or choice, ask yourself before you ask anyone else, “What do I think? What do I want?” We develop self-trust by checking in with ourselves (a key part of the Life Organizing practice from my book and app), taking action on our best guess, and then asking, “What do I know now?”
Forget hard and fast rules.

Some situations call for over-giving for a period of time. When my dad was dying, it was important to over-provide for him. The guideline? Are you checking in with yourself? If you want to give more, are you capable of doing so without hurting yourself?

Yes, avoiding over-providing is a privileged problem. And that isn’t an argument for you to be a martyr. Instead, become a force of love and balance in the world in hopes that one day all people can choose an emotionally and physically sustainable life.

It’s tempting to get your kicks from being everything to everybody. It can be hard to believe there is another way and yet, once you see your pattern, you also see how over-providing is a less than truthful existence. It keeps you from giving birth to your truest life. Seeing that, painful as it can be, will motivate you to listen and choose the middle way – a little me, a little them – more often.

Jennifer Louden helped start the self-care movement with her first best-selling book The Woman’s Comfort Book. She’s written 5 more books including The Life Organizer, just out in paperback. Visit JenniferLouden.com/lifeorganizer to get your free app and four more super useful gifts.

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Based on the new paperback edition of The Life Organizer: A Woman’s Guide to a Mindful Year © 2013 by Jennifer Louden. Printed with permission of New World Library, Novato, CA. www.newworldlibrary.com

About Our Guest Jennifer Louden is the internationally best-selling author of The Woman’s Comfort Book, The Woman’s Retreat Book, The Couple’s Comfort Book, The Little Book of Sensual Comforts, and The Comfort Queen’s Guide to Life. There are over 650,000 copies of her books in print worldwide, translated into eight languages. Louden also conducts workshops across the United States, Canada, and Europe at hospitals, corporations, and universities. She has made numerous appearances on television and in print, in such venues as “Oprah,” CNN, Glamour, People Magazine, and USA Today.

The post Enlightened New Year’s Resolutions (Jennifer Louden) appeared first on Fireitupwithcj.

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Christina Haas lost everything her marriage, her house, and her job. Join CJ as she interviews Christina about how her personal loss from abortion and miscarriage were the catalysts to finding herself and her purpose.

Listen to a Show Segment * Segment 1: How do you rebuild your life after losing it all? Christina shares her story of guilt and shame and how she reconciled her religious beliefs with having an abortion. * Segment 2: How did Christina heal from the emotional scars of her abortion?

Blog Post by Our Guest A Ten Year Anniversary It was ten years ago this past week that I started my healing journey with abortion. I was at my wit’s end and knew if I didn’t deal with my complex feelings from over eleven years earlier, I would probably end up institutionalized. There were many factors contributing to my suppressed feelings of grief and shame. The biggest factor, by far, was my Catholic upbringing. While it gave me a deep faith in God, it also informed me I had committed a mortal sin.My Catholic roots went deep. I attended a Catholic girls’ school for four years before high school, and a Catholic college. To make matters worse, by the time I finally fell apart, my husband was enrolled in the seminary to become a deacon. Soon there would be many more eyes upon us both, looking to our family as model Catholics. After the years of parochial education, Sunday sermons and deaconate formation training, I felt like a failure as a human being. The pressure to live up to these standards was unbearable. Thankfully, there is a program for healing in the Catholic Church called Project Rachel. Project Rachel changed the course of my life.

Project Rachel helped me to understand the weight I had borne for over a decade. They helped me grieve and stood with me as I released my grief and asked God and my unborn daughter for forgiveness.

As with many retreats, the confidentiality of the group was a requirement of participation. Given our purpose for being together, that made absolute sense. Unlike other retreats, however, the Project Rachel retreat required secrecy in other facets of the weekend as well. Our location was secret. No one knew where we were meeting and we were advised not to share that information, except with our spouses. Also unusual was our final instruction – not to share with family or friends anything about our abortions or our weekend together. It might not be safe, and therefore was something we should keep to ourselves. For me, there was continued fear and shame as I listened to this final counsel.

The one thing I was not able to release, my shame, stayed with me far longer than any other difficult emotion. Even Project Rachel’s Christ-like leadership and its generous love and compassion could not do for me what I so sorely needed. They could not change the language of the Catholic leadership and populace to remove condemnation or judgment. In the end, I was able to release the shame and find freedom only by looking outside the Church.

Since my retreat, as I listen to discussions between so-called pro-lifers and pro-choicers, I continue to wonder why the Church uses the language they do. Sinful, wrong, unthinkable, senseless murder – these are all words used in Catholic sermons and dialogs about abortion. The judgment these words evoke made it very difficult for me to release the shame of my abortion and I am certain make it difficult for most others. It’s unusual to talk about abortion. And while it isn’t everyone’s thing to share their story with the world, I do believe it is important that we share our stories with someone. One of the most productive things we did in the Project Rachel retreat weekend was to share our stories with each other. Sharing stories healed us because as we listened, we forgave. As we forgave and understood our sisters’ pain, we were able to access and release our own pain, and begin the process of forgiving ourselves. With greater support from Church leadership, women would be able to leave Project Rachel feeling more supported in their healing and fully releasing the shame – the contradiction and tension between emotional freedom and faith tradition would dissolve.

I hope and pray that one day soon Catholic leadership will really listen to the stories the women of the church have to tell and comprehend the compassion of the Project Rachel ministry who allowed us voice to tell them. I hope they will begin to understand and accept the experience of women that compels them to make this choice. Until we are able to speak without fear or secrecy, the road to full healing will be longer than it needs to be.

As I reflect on my ten-year anniversary this week, I realize how lucky I am to be able to share my story today feeling strong and secure in who I really am – a woman of light and love who knows all is very well with her soul.

Namaste.

About our Guest Christina Haas, a former business owner and CPA, is an emerging voice for women of all ages who yearn to release the guilt, pain and isolation of having an abortion. Through her own journey, Christina helps women experience forgiveness, healing, acceptance, and freedom around this sensitive issue.

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What is the ONE thing that you were brought on this earth to do? Join CJ as she interviews America’s Reinvention Expert, Steve Olsher, about his book “What is your WHAT?” Make sure to get a free copy of Steve’s book at: www.WhatIsYourWhat.com/free

Show Highlights: * Segment 1: What can you expect if you want to find your your ONE thing? The 3 components of knowing your WHAT (Your gift, the vehicle, and your people). * Segment 2: What do you do if your WHAT pays less than you make today? How to rationally move to a lower paying job?

Blog Post by our Guest Big thanks to PBS for running this article on their site. Here is the link to the original post.

Mahatma Gandhi. Mother Teresa. Dr. Martin Luther King. Aside from being three of the most revered and influential people of the past century, they had another thing in common: Each discovered theirWHAT, pursued their WHAT with strategic abandon and persevered until they provided the benefits of their WHAT to those who needed it most.

Your WHAT is the one amazing thing you were born to do and is comprised of your inherent Gifts, the Vehicle you will use to share your gifts with the world, and the People you are most compelled to serve.

To identify your Gifts, follow this three-step process:

Step One: What do you love?

To do this, first think about all the things you love doing and write them down.

Think back: What did you enjoy as a teenager? Even if you haven’t done something for years, if it would still bring you pleasure, write it down.

Focus on the activities and interactions that lift your soul. Avoid listing skills you’re good at simply because you’ve practiced them over time.

Now, dig even deeper.

Think back to a time when you laughed hysterically — what triggered the laughter?

And as an adult, what gives you goose bumps? Maybe it’s when you come up with a really good idea and you know you’ve found the solution you’ve been looking for. Tie the goose bumps moment to descriptions that encapsulate the activity in noun or adjective form — such as singing, teaching or healing.

When recalling a special moment, try not to be too literal; look for the subtext. For example, imagine you have a fond memory of an evening spent bowling with your grandmother. Instead of writing “bowling with Grammy” on your list, broaden it to “investing time with a beloved family member.”

As another example, say you closed a huge deal last year and felt really good about it. The monetary rewards are the tangibles, but what matters for this exercise is the sense of accomplishment you felt and how it enhanced your self-worth. This might be summed up as “closing a big deal.”

Next, think about your character traits. Are you bold, fearless, adventurous, funny, and/or entertaining? Perhaps you’re creative, intuitive, an organizer extraordinaire, and/or have a strong ear for music.

Think about how these traits are expressed through your interactions and activities. For example, if you’re an organizer extraordinaire, maybe you love arranging people’s schedules or homes.

The next step is to put the activities you’ve identified in order of preference.

I came up with 29 activities. These were my Top Three:

Having special time with my wife.
Investing time with those I love.
Teaching others how to discover their WHAT.

Step Two: What do you loathe?

The next step requires you to be totally honest about all the things you hate to do. If you’re clear about which activities you despise, you can establish a strong foundation for moving your life forward by starting to let them go.

Whatever it is that pushes your buttons (in a bad way), write them down. Even if you worry that others might see these things as petty, include them. The key is to acknowledge your thoughts and feelings.

Now, reflect on why you deplore an activity. Tie these moments to descriptions that encapsulate the activity in noun or adjective form — for example, cleaning, watching TV, eating unhealthy food, being around miserable people, shopping.

The next step is to put the activities you’ve identified in order, from most to least distasteful. I came up with 15 activities. These were my Top Three:

Dealing with minutiae.
Being affected by others’ lack of integrity (e.g., people not honoring their commitments).
Being with people who minimize or mitigate my feelings.

Now think about how you spend a typical day and figure out how much time is devoted to these activities you despise. You have to stop doing most of these things because life is too short and they’re slowly killing you.

Step Three: The Seven Seeds of Your Soul

Now, get your lists of Things I Love Doing and Things I Hate Doing. Start with the top item on your list of Things I Love Doing and ask yourself each of the six questions below as it relates to the activity. Each answer should be a definitive yes or no.

Even if you didn’t get paid a cent for it, would you still do this?
Would doing this inspire you every day?
Does doing this come as naturally to you as breathing?
Do you feel you’ve been given a special gift to do this?
Does time seem to fly by when you’re engaged in this activity?
Can you possibly make money doing this?

People often have difficulty answering yes or no to Questions #4 and #6. For Question #4, keep in mind that while you might not yet be a master of this activity, if you feel passionately about it and/or spend a lot of time engaging in it, you may have been given a special gift to do it. In such cases, your answer to Question #4 is likely to be yes.

For Question #6, answer whether you can possibly make money performing the activity, not whether you’re currently doing so. If you have a genuine Gift, you can monetize virtually any hobby, interest or endeavor and, therefore, your answer would be yes.

If any of your answers to these six questions is no, cross out the activity and move to the next item on your list of Things I Love Doing.

Continue this process until you reach an activity that results in a yes to all six questions.

When I completed this exercise, one of the activities that came up with all six yes answers was: Teaching others how to discover their WHAT.

When you arrive at an item with six yes answers, circle it and then ask yourself this final question:

Does performing this activity involve anything on my list of Things I Hate Doing?

For the beloved activity to pass the criteria of The Seven Seeds of Your Soul, it has to match no more than two of your hated activities. (Virtually any activity you engage in will include some aspects you dislike. The discomfort level just has to be low enough to be tolerable.)

If you can answer yes less than three times, double circle the activity because you’ll be returning to it.

It’s possible that your inherent Gifts won’t appear in the first half or even the first two-thirds of your Things I Love Doing list, so be patient and work through every item.

Now, write down the activities you double circled. If you came up with more than three, chances are you weren’t being sufficiently honest with yourself. In that case, try again.

Once you’ve identified three or fewer activities, the last step is to identify synergies between them and/or choose the specific nouns or adjectives that best define your Gifts. These will typically be the first words of your activity statements.

In my case, they were Teaching, Speaking and Inspiring.

After thinking more deeply, I realized they were all part of an over-arching theme: Communication. This represents the first part of the WHAT equation, my true Gift.

Review your results and write down your Gifts using one or, at most, two words for each. If possible, identify an over-arching theme.

If you can pinpoint your gifts and complete your WHAT equation by also identifying the Vehicle you will use to share your Gifts with the world and the People you’re most compelled to serve, you’ll probably feel like you’ve thrown a 500-pound bag of sand off your shoulders.

Identifying your WHAT is often a very emotional experience. It should move you and put a fire in your belly.

Pursue living as who you were born to be and you’ll achieve your true destiny.

About our Guest Steve Olsher is America’s Reinvention Expert and has taught thousands how to NICHETIZE! (nitch a tize)

by identifying and monetizing their WHAT—that is, the ONE thing they were born to do. His singular approach

for realizing permanent, positive change blends proprietary methods with ancient wisdom and revolutionary

lessons from modern thought leaders forming a proven system for ultimate achievement in business and life.

He is an international keynote speaker; NY Times bestselling Author of What Is Your WHAT? Discover The

ONE Amazing Thing You Were Born To Do; Author of the Business Technology Book of the Year Internet

Prophets: The World’s Leading Experts Reveal How to Profit Online; Author of USA Book News’ Self-Help

Book of The Year Journey To You: A Step-by-Step Guide to Becoming Who You Were Born to Be; co-star of

the groundbreaking film, The Keeper of the Keys with Jack Canfield, John Gray, and Marci Shimoff; Founder

of the Reinvention Workshop; Creator of Internet Prophets LIVE!; Chairman and Co-Founder of Liquor.com;

President of Bold Development; and, an in-demand media guest who has appeared on ABC TV, FOX TV, NBC

TV, Fox Business, The Huffington Post, Forbes.com, CNBC.com and more than 300 radio shows including

national shows hosted by Lou Dobbs, Jim Bohannon, and Mancow Muller.

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Family dinners are becoming a thing of the past. How can you make some east and fast dinners for your family? Why is it so important that we make time time to cook at home, come together, and connect as a family? Aviva Goldfarb, the CEO at The Six O’Clock Scramble, is a family dinner expert who helps busy parents let go of all the stress at 6:00 and bring joy and good nutrition back to the dinner table. Join CJ as she gets some yummy recipes for fast dinner that your friends will love when you bring for potlucks, and your families will appreciate at dinner. Get some tips for planning out meals for crazy jammed pack days.

Show Highlight: Segment 1: What are the healthy benefits of eating at home versus eating at a restaurant? Aviva’s key discoveries in making healthier versions of recipes.

Segment 2: Quick recipes that will take 30 minutes or less to prepare and cook in really busy days when you feel like there is NO time to cook at home. Aviva shares her favorite meal that takes 10 minutes to make. Simple meals to make when you are on the run, or the days where you are eating in the car between appointments.

Segment 3: Great meals to cook and bring during potlucks and fast, easy recipes for holiday meals. An entree, side dish, and a 3 ingredient dessert dish to bring to a holiday party that are fast to make but offer a WOW factor on a buffet table.

Segment 4: Kid-tested recipes that your kids will like and can cook themselves. 3 simple desserts to try out that are kid-approved.

Recipes Mentioned on Air * 10 minutes: Shrimp and Grits – http://www.pbs.org/parents/kitchenexplorers/2013/02/12/try-shrimp-and-grits-for-black-history-month/ * Fast Lasagna: http://www.recipelink.com/cookbooks/2007/031233642X_1.html * Smoothies: http://nl.pinterest.com/thescramble/healthy-smoothies/ * Potluck Hits + Stacked Pumpkin Enchiladas: http://www.thescramble.com/family-dinner/fall-pumpkin-recipe-stacked-pumpkin-enchiladas/ + Wheat Berry Salad: http://www.thescramble.com/family-dinner/healthy-wheat-berry-salad-with-grapes-and-feta/ + Choc Marshmallow Clusters: http://www.pbs.org/parents/kitchenexplorers/2013/03/12/celias-chocolate-and-marshmallow-clusters/ + Avocado Garlic Toast: http://www.pbs.org/parents/kitchenexplorers/2013/08/06/avocado-garlic-toasts/ * Healthy Holiday Desserts: + Granola Bars: http://www.thescramble.com/recipes-blog/healthy-snack-chewy-protein-packed-peanut-butter-granola-squares/ + Healthy Desserts:http://www.pinterest.com/thescramble/healthy-desserts/ + Edible Gift Ideas: http://www.pinterest.com/thescramble/edible-gift-ideas/ + Queso dip and family favorites: http://www.pbs.org/parents/kitchenexplorers/2011/01/18/solomon%E2%80%99s-quintessential-queso-dip/ + Choc. Banana Icecream: http://www.pbs.org/food/recipes/chocolate-banana-ice-cream/

Blog Post by our Guest

Kid Friendly Dinner Recipes: The Scramble Suggests Recipes the Whole Family will Love – Aviva’s Blog > Family Dinner >

My Seven, Four and Two-year-olds Love Scramble Meals!

Dear Aviva, My family loved the Baked Flounder with Parmesan Crust! During dinner, my husband asked our 7-year-old what the best part about the day was and he answered “This fish!” My 2-year old then piped in with the same answer. I’m pretty sure our 4-year-old would have, too, but his mouth was full of food.

A.S., Merion Station, PA

Dear Amy, Thanks for sending a note, I love hearing about Scramble successes with our kid friendly dinner recipes!

Baked Flounder with Parmesan Crust

Prep + Cook = 25 minutes

4 servings

This simple dish, adapted from The Washington Post, is easy enough for a weeknight dinner, but good enough for company. Serve it with Whipped Butternut Squash with Pomegranate Seeds.

1 1/2 lbs. flounder fillets (or other white fish fillets)

2 Tbsp. butter

1/2 cup bread crumbs or panko (Japanese bread crumbs)

1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese

1 Tbsp. extra virgin olive oil

1/2 lemon, juice only, about 2 Tbsp.

10 fresh basil leaves, cut into thin strips (optional)

(Start the squash first, if you are serving it.) Preheat the oven to 425 degrees. Place the fillets in a flat baking dish or on a baking sheet lined with foil.

Melt the butter in the microwave or on the stove. In a small bowl, mix it with the bread crumbs or panko, cheese and oil, and combine them thoroughly with a fork or your fingers. Sprinkle the mixture evenly over the fillets.

Bake the flounder until it is cooked through and the topping is golden, about 15 minutes. Sprinkle the fillets with lemon juice and basil (optional), and serve immediately.

Do Ahead or Delegate: Juice the lemon.

Tip: Fish should be cooked to an internal temperature of 145 degrees. If you don’t own a meat thermometer, you can determine if your fish is fully cooked by slipping the tines of a fork or the edge of a sharp knife into the flesh and gently pulling it aside. The fish should be opaque and somewhat flaky.

Scramble Flavor Booster: Use the optional basil and sprinkle the fish with extra lemon juice and a little fresh lemon zest.

Side Dish suggestion: In a large saucepan or a stockpot, steam the squash in a couple inches of boiling water, covered, for 20 minutes or until it’s tender. (Alternatively, steam it in the microwave for 5 – 10 minutes.) Drain the squash. With an electric mixer, whip the squash with the butter, syrup, salt and cinnamon and transfer it to a serving bowl. Top it with the pomegranate seeds and serve it immediately.

Nutritional Information per serving (% based upon daily values):

Calories 480, Total Fat 29g, 45%, Saturated Fat 8g, 40%, Cholesterol 80mg, 27%, Sodium 490mg, 20%, Total Carbohydrate 29g, 10% Dietary Fiber 0g, 0% Sugar 5g, Protein 25g

About Our Guest As the mother of two very active teenagers with formerly picky palates, I know what a challenge it can be to get healthy homemade dinners on the table that everyone will eat, and at a reasonable hour of the night. And as the founder of the dinner planning service, The Six O’Clock Scramble (www.thescramble.com), I have learned not only how to serve up healthy meals for my own family (well, at least most nights…), but also help thousands of busy families make nightly dinners a reality.

Like many busy moms, I initially struggled to put a nutritious dinner on the table for my family amidst the chaos of daily life. Recalling my own mom’s simple weekly meal planning strategy, I developed a system that helps parents take the “Scramble” out of the dinner hour by giving them an easy, online meal planning and grocery shopping system, along with fail-proof family-friendly recipes.

My family dinner cookbooks, The Six O’Clock Scramble and SOS! The Six O’Clock Scramble to the Rescue (St. Martin’s Press) debuted in 2006 and 2010. Both the cookbooks and online meal planning service have won praise from reviewers at O Magazine, Working Mother, USA Today, Real Simple, The Washington Post, and many others. I also love helping parents lure their kids into the kitchen through my weekly posts on PBS Parents Kitchen Explorers.

Over the years, I have grown increasingly concerned with how to reduce our environmental impact while still enjoying the foods we love. We buy much of our food locally at farmer’s markets, we have reduced the amount of meat we eat, and the amount of food we waste, started composting, and each day, we pack our kids waste-free (or at least low-waste) lunches. I work these family- and eco-friendly practices into the Scramble’s recipes and seasonal meal plans.

Working with food and health, I also care deeply about hunger and nutrition, especially for children. I have been active in school lunch reform here in my home state of Maryland and often contribute to events and campaigns by great organizations such as Share Our Strength.

But at the end of the day, my greatest joy comes from the daily, simple pleasures of my own family table. My son Solomon recently said, “Mom, thank you so much for making us a delicious dinner every night.” That definitely makes the extra effort well worth it!

Contact me at aviva@thescramble.com.

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What happens when you combine 2 sticks of butter, 1 c flour, and cream cheese and fry the whole thing? You get Paula’s Fried Butter balls. Are American’s on a death wish? Join us as we talk to Dr. Deb Kennedy for some tips on how to take your favorite holiday recipes, make them still delicious, but slightly less decadent.

Show Summary * Segment 1: How much can you lower sugar and butter in your recipes and not affect the overall taste? What are some substitutes for butter in recipes? What oils can you use instead of shortening? What to lower the amount of butter and substitutes or substitute refined sugar, flour, and butter in your favorite recipes and still have a delicious treat? * Segment 2: What are some great flour substitutes for gluten free folks? How much whole wheat flour could you add without affecting a recipe? What are some holiday favorites that even the pickiest kid would eat?

Blog Post by our Guest Observations From Paris – 08/24/2013 (http://www.drdebkennedy.com/blog.html) I just returned from Paris (a two-decade dream in the making) and I was determined to discover why it is that “French Women Don’t Get Fat” and “French Kids Eat Everything”; two books that make quite the outrageous claims. After observing the French for two weeks I saw certain behaviors that gave me some interesting insights. Based on my observations, and assuming for the moment that these authors’ claims are indeed true, these may be some reasons why the French manage their weight better:#1 There are no “Express Check Out” lines in grocery stores for those with 10 or less items. The French buy only what they need for the next meal. Most only buy a few items at a time.

2 I did not see “Buy 1 liter of soda and get another for free” or “Buy 1 bag of chips and get the next half off” in the grocery stores I went into.

3 I never saw the French walking around with a bottle of soda, juice, and vitamin water in their hand. They consider eating and drinking in public rude.

4 Eating and drinking happens when one takes the time to sit and eat and enjoy.

I don’t think it is so much the “what they eat” but the “how” that really makes a difference. Can you imagine buying just what you needed for yourself or your family for that day? I know this can seem like a daunting task but if I “American-ize” this suggestion; how much better would our kids diet be if we (the parent) and they (the child) didn’t impulse buy because the deal on soda and chips was a great buy; what if we stuck to a grocery list for the ingredients we needed to make a weeks worth of meals. I think this would make a huge impact on our families diet.

About Our Guest Dr. Debbie Kennedy (Dr. Deb) is a pediatric nutritionist with 25 years of experience in the field. She has worked with both Yale and Columbia Universities, and has developed programs for some of the industry’s luminaries such as Dr. David Katz and Dr. Mehmet Oz. She currently runs BuildHealthyKids.com

I consider myself a Food Shaman. What does that mean? It means that I have been tracking food my entire life and to be direct- food speaks to me. It either screams “life giving” or “no better than a piece of cardboard”. I have lived with being a sugar addict my entire life. It is the place I go when life gets crazy but the good news is that my health is my choice and “your health is your choice”! When I make unhealthy choices, I make sure the next dozen choices are healthy ones. If 80% to 90% of the food that goes in my mouth is healthy, I will be too.

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It’s easy to get lost during the holiday season on the real meaning of the holidays. Join us as we talk to Ellen Kanner about her book “Feeding the Hungry Ghost” and how we can mindfully eat and celebrate during holiday meals.

Show Summary * Segment 1: Mindful Eating and bringing more meaning into your holiday means. What are intentions you have for each meal? * Segment 2: Setting up non-negotiable items for owning your holiday traditions. Time saving tips for Holiday meal prep . Items that make sense to buy fresh versus prepared. * Also check out: http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2011/10/20/oct-20-time-tested-tips-for-healthy-indulgences-for-the-holidays/

Blog Post by our Guest

Meatless Monday: Hey, Thanks (I’m Talking to YOU)- Huffington Post

Posted: 11/25/2013 9:55 am

What are you grateful for? The staff of vegan, organic meccaCafe Gratitude starts each day by answering this question. I find Cafe Gratitude’s practice — they call it Clearing — beautiful, healthful and not always easy, especially on days where the glow of positive energy is at risk of being eclipsed by your standard negative crap energy. Still, conjuring what you’re grateful for is always worth doing, not just for the sake of going out into the day with a stupid-ass grin on your face, but because giving thanks is good for us. Studies prove it ramps up our life force. It makes us better people and more fun to be around. As I write in my book “Feeding the Hungry Ghost,” “Gratitude is the soul’s Lipitor. It opens our hearts. It gives us faith. It gives us energy to go forward.”

Faith and energy have been thin on the ground here as I’ve faced a series of catastrophes and emergencies, including a hospitalized family member, burst pipes, crashed computers and a cracked tooth. For mood modification, I think about everything that’s happened since my book came out earlier this year, from speaking this weekend at the 30th annual Miami Book Fair International — my favorite literary event, and it takes place in my very own ‘hood, to learning VegNews has named “Feeding the Hungry Ghost” Book of the Year, an honor that blew the top of my head off.

But so much has been mind-blowing — connecting with heroes both culinary and vegan. I’m talking to you, Jacques Pepin, John Robbins, Joe Yonan and that’s just the Js. My book has been cheered on by the incomparable Robin Asbell, Nava Atlas and Our Hen House. I’ve had support from amazing indie book stores (I’m talking to you, Books and Books), organizations I totally get behind (I’m talking to you, Slow Food, Les Dames d’Escoffier andOldways) and my own family, who’ve schlepped books and baked my recipes for vegan cookies for events. And I’m talking to you.

Whether you know me here from Meatless Monday (thank you, Huffington Post) or from my book, whether we connected at the largest literary event in the nation or at the Brownie meeting when I introduced a dozen 9-year olds to the beauty of produce in season (go, Troop #753), it’s a thrill to meet you. It knocks me out when you say I’ve made you laugh or made you think or made you want to cook and eat vegetables. Excellent, because nourishment and connection are what I’m after. I inspire you? Hell, you inspire me. You keep me honest. And you make me grateful. It’s a win-win.

I haven’t had the chance to eat at Cafe Gratitude, but I’ve benefitted by their takeaway. I mean their commitment to living and eating joyfully and consciously. This brings us to Thanksgiving. Lose the feeding frenzy aspect (please), and Thanksgiving is about creating celebration, togetherness, a sense that everything’s going to be all right. It’s about gratitude — the real thanks that prompted that first Thanksgiving. The key is choosing how to best express it. It doesn’t come from a turkey. It comes from us. That’s what we bring to the table.

Oh, there’s plenty to be pissed about, but without sounding too gushy or woo-woo, we’ve all got something to be thankful for. Hold that thought. Before you dive into Thanksgiving dinner, thank the universe, fate (that whackadoodle joker), God or whatever divine spirit you believe in. Feeling grateful makes even the simplest meal taste better. Just pause and say, as Anne Lamott does, help, thanks, wow. I would also add, as Cafe Gratitude does, Love. Serve. Remember.

Roasted Pumpkin Salad with Pumpkin Seeds, Chili Vinaigrette and Gratitude

6 tablespoons walnut or pumpkin seed oil

4 teaspoons Dijon mustard

2 teaspoons cumin

1 good pinch chipotle powder or other chili powder with a kick

1 teaspoon coriander

2 teaspoons agave

juice of 1 lime

2 pounds pumpkin, peeled and chopped into 2-inch chunks

1 handful of sage leaves, coarsely chopped

8 cups salad greens, like arugula, spinach or kale or any combination

1/3 cup pumpkin seeds (pepitas)

Preheat oven to 400F

In a small bowl, whisk together the ingredients for the dressing — pumpkin seed or walnut oil, Dijon, cumin, chipotle, coriander, agave and lime juice.

Spread chopped pumpkin onto a rimmed baking sheet, without crowding the pumpkin. Brush the pumpkin with about half the dressing.

Roast for about 25 minutes, or until pumpkin is just becoming tender and done at the edges. Flip pumpkin gently, scatter pumpkin seeds and sage on the baking sheet and cook for another 8 to 10 minutes, or until the pumpkin seeds are toasty and sage leaves are a little crispy at the edges.

Remove from oven and let cool slightly.

Pile greens on a platter. Arrange pumpkin, sage and pumpkin seeds on top and drizzle the remaining dressing over all.

Season with sea salt and pepper.

Makes 6 to 8 servings.

About our Guest Ellen Kanner is an award-winning food writer and author of Feeding the Hungry Ghost: Life, Faith and What to Eat for Dinner (New World Library). She is also the syndicated columnist Edgy Veggie, is published in Bon Appetit, Eating Well, Vegetarian Times, Every Day with Rachael Ray, and Culinate as well as in other online and print publications. She’s an ardent advocate for sustainable, accessible food, serving on the Miami boards of Slow Food and Common Threads. She likes teaching kids to cook, speaking about what we’re hungry for, tending her tiny organic vegetable garden, hiking in the Everglades, making friends with cows and making dinner with friends. She believes in close community, strong coffee, organic food and red lipstick. A fourth-generation Floridian, she lives la vida vegan in Miami with her husband. Learn more about Ellen at www.ellen-ink.com

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Join us as we talk to Dr. Bernie S. Siegel, a pioneer in using integrative and holistic approaches to healing to compliment traditional Western medicine. CJ will interview Dr. Siegel on his newest book, “The Art of Healing: Uncovering your Inner Wisdom and Potential for Self-Healing”.

Show Summary: * Segment 1: Taking Charge of your Personal Health and why all illnesses are related to stress and go beyond physical causes alone. * Segment 2: Complimentary non-invasive techniques you can try. Bernie offers an alternative approach for what could happen during a medical visit. * Segment 3: Healing Miracles- Do they really happen? Bernie addresses any skepticism you may have trying these techniques. * Segment 4: Dr. Bernie Siegel’s shares the story of patients and family and how both have taught him how to be a better doctor. * Also check out more from Marie Manuchehri: http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/mar-15-find-alternatives-to-a-big-expensive-medical-procedure-marie-manuchehri-rn/

Book by our Guest In 1979, Dr. Bernie S. Siegel, a successful surgeon, took a class from Elisabeth Kübler-Ross that focused on crayon drawing for healing, especially with patients facing life-threatening disease. Siegel incorporated into his practice these techniques — many of which were laughed at by others in the medical community. But his Exceptional Cancer Patients “carefrontation” protocol facilitated healings, often deemed miraculous, and attracted attention. “Dr. Bernie” discovered and shared the fact that while patients might need antibiotics, surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy, their bodies also want to heal. He found that this innate propensity could be aided by unconventional practices, including drawing.

Why? Drawing produces symbols often representing the subconscious. Siegel shows how to interpret drawings to help with everything from understanding why we are sick to making treatment decisions and communicating with loved ones. All those facing ill health, and those caring for them, personally and professionally, will welcome the hands-on, patient-proven practices offered here.

Fast Facts * This long-awaited follow-up to Love, Medicine & Miracles updates Siegel’s insights into the healing power of drawing, dreams, and intuition * Detailed interpretations of drawings done by Siegel’s patients demonstrate the use of drawing to tap into the subconscious * Siegel’s books — including Love, Medicine & Miracles; Peace, Love & Healing; and 365 Prescriptions for the Soul — have sold well over 1.5 million copies

Praise for The Art of Healing “[Siegel is] one of America’s master healers.”

— Larry Dossey, MD, author of Healing Words

“Siegel dispenses spiritual medicine that’s good for you, and feels good, too!”

— Marianne Williamson , author of The Age of Miracles

About our Guest BERNIE S. SIEGEL, MD, retired from surgical practice in 1989 and has since dedicated himself to humanizing the medical establishment and empowering patients. A sought-after speaker around the world on patient and caregiver issues, he lives in Woodbridge, Connecticut.

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Join CJ as she interviews Gregg Braden on his newest book “Deep Truth”. Gregg will open your eyes up to new scientific discoveries not widely known that will shift your sense of our origins, history, destiny, and fate. You’ll hear information that will shift your sense of the real cause behind climate change, the timeline of advanced civilizations, and evolution.

Show Summary: * Segment 1: Why did Gregg Braden write “Deep Truth” and why is it being released now? What are the fundamental assumptions that we believe to be true that limit our thinking about solving today’s problems? * Segment 2: As a society, we believe in competition and Darwin’s survival of the fittest as being the only way to live. Gregg Braden shares scientific proof that we are not separate nor is competition the only way to live. * Segment 3: Gregg casts doubt on the belief that our civilization has advanced and developed linearly. Gregg shares why he believes ancient spirituality can inform scientific thinking. * Segment 4: What is the ONE question that you can ask yourself that will make a difference in the world we create together?

Blog Post and Video by our Guest Deep Truth reveals new discoveries that change the way we think about everything from our personal relationships to civilization itself. When the facts become clear, our choices become obvious.

The Crisis:Best-selling author and visionary scientist Gregg Braden suggests that the hottest topics that divide us as families, cultures, and nations-seemingly disparate issues such as war, terrorism, abortion, genocide, poverty, economic collapse, climate change, and nuclear threats-are actually related. They all stem from a worldview based upon the false assumptions of an incomplete science.

The History:

The obsolete beliefs of our modern worldview have brought us to the brink of disaster and the loss of all that we cherish as a civilization. Our reluctance to accept new discoveries about our relationship to the earth, one another, and our ancient past keeps us locked into the thinking that has led to the crises threatening our lives today.

The Facts:

The scientific method allows for, and expects, new information to be revealed and assimilated into our existing beliefs. It’s the updating of scientific knowledge with the new facts from new discoveries that is the key to keeping science honest, current, and meaningful.To continue teaching science that is not supported by the new discoveries-ones based upon accepted scientific methods-is not, in fact, scientific. But this is precisely what we see happening in traditional textbooks, classrooms, and mainstream media today.

The Opportunity:

Explore for yourself the discoveries that change 150 years of scientific beliefs, yet are still not reflected in mainstream thinking, including:

· Evidence of advanced, near-ice age civilizations

· The origin of, and reasons for, war in our ancient past, and why it may become obsolete in our time

· The false assumptions of human evolution and of the Darwinian theory “Let the strongest live and the weakest die” and how this plays out in corporations, societies, warfare, and civilization today

Deep Truth reveals new discoveries that change the way we think about everything from our personal relationships to civilization itself. When the facts become clear, our choices become obvious.

About Our Guest New York Times best-selling author Gregg Braden is internationally renowned as a pioneer in bridging science, spirituality, and the real world. Following a successful career as a computer geologist for Phillips Petroleum during the 1970s energy crisis, he worked as a senior computer systems designer with Martin Marietta Defense Systems during the final years of the Cold War. In 1991, he became the first technical operations manager for Cisco Systems.

For more than 27 years, Gregg has explored high mountain villages, remote monasteries, and forgotten texts to merge their timeless secrets. His discoveries are now shared in 33 countries and 38 languages through such paradigm-inspiring books as: The God Code, The Divine Matrix, Fractal Time, and his newest, Deep Truth. His 2007 best seller, The Divine Matrix, was recently selected as the source for the made-for-television feature, “Entanglement,” and is now a textbook for college level courses exploring new discoveries of science and our relationship to the world. Gregg is an active member of several leadership organizations, including the Evolutionary Leadership think tank, founded by Deepak Chopra in 2008, and has received numerous awards in recognition of his insights and innovation. Gregg’s work has been shared on every continent of the world and in recent years he has presented his seminars and trainings to Fortune 500 companies, the U.S. military, international businesses and is now featured in media specials on the History Channel, the Discovery Channel, National Geographic, ABC and NBC.

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CJ will interview Dr. Suzanne Goh and Susan Deland on the Spectacular Bond Program developed by faculty at Columbia University. You’ll get information on a unique home-based, parent-led behavioral intervention designed for children with autism, where parents are seeing results in a few weeks.

Show Summary * Segment 1: An introduction to Autism and its diagnosis, symptoms and causes. * Segment 2: Developing an effective treatment plan. What is a rational approach in developing a treatment plan? Who should you reach out to? * Segment 3: A high level look at the Spectacular Bond Program and why it targets 2-6 year old. What kinds of changes you can expect in a 3 mos period, and why? * Segment 4: What are realistic expectations for parents with autistic children? How does the Spectacular Bond program differ from other programs out there?

Video from the Spectacular Bond Program Blog Post

A SPECTACULAR LUNCH DATE WITH MY AUTISTIC DAUGHTER

Susan DelandTODAY contributor

Courtesy of Susan Deland Susan Deland and daughter Diane

I took my 13-year-old daughter, Diane, to a Chinese restaurant the other day for lunch. We usually go to the take-out place in our town, but this time we went to the fancier sit-down place that we had never been to before.

Several years ago, I would never have attempted such an outing. The potential for disaster was too great. Diane is on the autism spectrum, and for much of her early life, outings were fraught with tantrums or meltdowns, either because she wanted to be left alone or because she couldn’t handle the assault on her senses that so many places gave her.

Since then, her progress has been amazing, and new experiences are now opportunities for fun and enjoyment.

We walked into the serene restaurant where an enormous tank of koi fish was close to some of the tables. Expecting Diane to be afraid of them, I started to choose a table far from that tank, but she asked to sit at the table nearby. She was mesmerized watching the fish, and she also respected the sign that read, “Please Do Not Touch.”

The waitress brought over a pot of Chinese tea and two little cups and saucers. I said, “I would love to have some tea,” and waited. Diane picked up the pot by its handle and poured us both some tea. It was fragile, heavy, and steaming — difficult for just about anyone to maneuver, and particularly difficult for someone like Diane who has problems with motor movements and coordination. But she handled it ever so carefully without a spilled drop.

The meal progressed with shared steamed shrimp and vegetables and a delightful conversation about family plans, school field trips, and Diane’s favorite Katy Perry songs.

At the end of the meal, the waitress brought us fortune cookies. Diane started to eat her cookie, and the slip of paper fell out. She picked it up and read:

Things usually do not happen overnight. It takes time and hard work.

Hearing that message read so deftly by my daughter — after having finished such a lovely lunch date — was a dream come true.

I closed my eyes and cupped the warm teacup in my hands. I gave a silent prayer of thanks for this remarkable progress.

On the way home I thought about the first steps that we had taken back in 2003 that set us on this path to success. We’d had the incredible good fortune to have a sister-in-law in the medical profession in New York who steered us to Columbia University for Diane’s initial diagnosis and treatment. It was there that we were introduced to Dr. Marion Blank, and her behavior program for young children on the autism spectrum. It is this program, now known as Spectacular Bond, that helped me to become a more effective parent for Diane and for Diane to emerge from her isolation.

At age 3, Diane never responded when I called her name or had any interest in doing things with me. She would chew on a stiff rubber dog toy to calm herself. She would knock over her brother’s Lego creations when she barreled into his room in a frenzy of over-stimulation or anger. Her muscle tone was so weak that she had trouble descending stairs. Through the Spectacular Bond program, I developed a new parenting relationship with Diane, and she began to feel much more calm, to look at us, to sit quietly at the dinner table, and to seek us out for guidance. Over time, she developed friendships, engaged in group activities, and had learned to read at the age of 4. The happiness quotient for our whole family grew exponentially.

A word about koi fish. I happen to be strongly attracted to them too and recently found this description of them:

“The Japanese associate koi with perseverance in adversity. Because of its strength and determination to overcome obstacles, it stands for courage and the ability to attain high goals.”

Coincidence that Diane and I feel an attraction to koi fish? Not at all.

Susan Deland is the mother of 14-year-old Alex and 13-year-old Diane, who was diagnosed with autism at age 3. Susan is co-author of the new book, Spectacular Bond: Reaching the Child with Autism, with Dr. Marion Blank and Dr. Suzanne Goh.

About our Guests Suzanne Goh, M.D., is a pediatric neurologist and neuroscience researcher. She has served as Associate Research Scientist and Assistant Professor of Clinical Neurology in the Division of Child Psychiatry at Columbia University. She is former Co-Director of the Columbia University Developmental Neuropsychiatry Program for Autism and Related Disorders. Her research focuses on metabolic disturbances in autism and on the use of brain imaging to identify differences in brain circuits in autism. A Rhodes Scholar, she graduated from Harvard University, University of Oxford, and Harvard Medical School. She has published research articles in numerous journals, including Neurology, Annals of Neurology, Pediatric Neurology, Developmental Cognitive Neuroscience, and Developmental Medicine & Child Neurology.

Susan Deland is the mother of 13-year-old Diane and 14-year-old Alex. She is a Certified Public Accountant and has had a career in finance in New York City. Diane was diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) at the age of three. After that diagnosis, Susan’s primary focus was on finding and implementing the interventions that would give Diane the best chance at a rewarding future. This led her to Dr. Blank and the Spectacular Bond program.

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Psychic Medium, Sue Frederick, shares true stories with CJ about loved ones on the other side. How do you let go of someone you love ? How can you gain peace at your loved one’s passing? Are the deceased still with us?

Show Summary: * Segment 1: How can death be part of the deceased’s Soul mission? Sue will change the way you think about your loved one’s passing. CJ and Sue talk about why some suffer so much and pass in such traumatic ways (prolonged illnesses, car accidents). * Segment 2: How do the dead give us signals that they are still with us? What are some of the ways those who have passed to the other side communicate with us? Why do those who have passed visit us? How can we move from fear when we have a visit from a deceased loved one? * Segment 3: Why do we want to communicate to those loved one’s you barely communicated to when they were living? How to interpret the way that those on the other side communicate through metaphor? * Segment 4: How do those who have passed over communicate to us in our sleep? What are the intentions of talking to us while asleep? * Related Posts: Caring for a loved one upon their death bed: , Making peace with death:,and Writing a love letter to your deceased loved one:

Blog Post by Sue Frederick on Connecting with the dead by Sue Fredrick’s blog: http://careerintuitive.info/how-to-help-a-grieving-friend-three-grief-healing-conversations/

If you have a friend or loved one who has lost someone they love, you’re being called into action to help. Both of you will benefit profoundly from the deep sharing, exploration and communication that can occur when someone is grieving. This is especially true if you’re willing to think outside of the box and go beyond the conventional boundaries of grief discussions.

Your task, if you really want to help your friend, is to take them gently through these three conversations outlined in the next few pages. This process will help your friend experience a powerful healing shift in perspective.

Conversation One: Tell Me Your Story—How Did Your Loved One Die?

Open your heart and listen. Grieving people need to share their experience and tell their story. In our culture, we’re uncomfortable with death. We feel it’s impolite to ask someone the details of how their loved one died or how they feel now.

Yet when you connect your open-heart energy with their loss and listen deeply to their story, you become a healer. A story of painful loss can’t be fully released until it has been fully told. Become the sounding board and listen to it all detail by detail. Eventually, the grieving person needs to surrender this story and change their perspective from “here’s my tragic tale” to “here’s my life-changing experience.” Guiding your friend through the conversations outlined here helps them make that life-changing shift.

To initiate your first healing conversation, call or visit your friend and, with an open heart, ask how it happened. Ask, “What were the final days like? Were you with her when she took her last breath? What did you experience? Have you felt her presence since she crossed over?”

Once you’re able to help them start talking, they’ll pour their heart out to you; it’s a story longing to be shared in all of its painful details.

Every therapist, coach, or healer starts with compassionate questions. People who are grieving need to talk and share their pain. It’s essential to healing. You can become the healing catalyst for this exchange.

Here are some examples of questions to get you started:

Tell me the story of his death. Was it sudden? How long was he sick?
Were you with her at the moment of crossing over?
What was that experience like for you?
Did you have any premonitions or dreams about this death before it happened?
Have you had any visits from him or dreams that he was in since his death?
Tell me about her life. What did you love the most about her? What do you miss the most? Ask your friend to share their best memories.
What would your departed loved one want you to do now to fulfill your life’s mission here?
If he were standing here now what would he say to you?
What would he want you to do with your life and career to move forward?
What would you say to him?

**Conversation Two: Asking the Spirituality Question

“Tell me what you believe in…“**

This second healing conversation should happen after your grieving friend has had some time to get her life back to a routine; after the funeral and after the relatives have gone home. Use your intuition to know when it’s time.

When you’re ready to begin, say, “Please tell me what you believe in spiritually. Do you follow a religion or do you have a daily spiritual practice of some kind – and how’s it working for you?”

Ask the grieving person to share the details of their spiritual journey; how they were raised, what they believe in or don’t believe in now, and whether spirituality is a focus of their daily life or not. Ask if they pray or meditate every day and ask them to describe how they do it and what their experience has been with the process. Ask if they feel satisfied with the answers that their current spiritual belief system is providing.

The purpose of this conversation is to unfold the many complex beliefs a person might have to get to the core of their spiritual beliefs—which may be different from the irreligion. There’s a difference between spirituality and religion. Religion is a set of beliefs and rules governed by a church. If the grieving person is already deeply comforted by her church and does not question its beliefs, that’s terrific. Just ask her to explain fully what she believes about where her departed is now. You might be surprised at the answers. If the person cites answers that come from his church but the answers don’t seem fully fleshed out, keep asking questions. Ask lovingly if those religious beliefs resonate as true for him or if he wants to explore other ideas with you.

If they’re not fully satisfied with their church’s answers, it’s time to have an open discussion of the bigger picture of spirituality. When they’re in pain, their most pressing questions are, “Why did this loss happen?” and, “Where is my loved one now?” By helping them explore a broader spiritual (not religious) perspective you can help them find answers that are truly healing.

You’ll probably find that those who don’t believe in any form of spirituality, or anything beyond what they can see and touch, will be in the most pain. They’ll feel that their loved one has simply vanished and that life is meaningless and tragic. Yet this loss is their moment of true spiritual (not religious) awakening. It’s calling them to experience first-hand their own divine nature.

Offer to become your friend’s spiritual exploration companion. Offer to read and discuss books such as Proof of Heaven by Dr. Eben Alexander; Bridges to Heaven by Sue Frederick; The Conscious Universe by Dean Radin; and My Stroke of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor.

Having this spiritual conversation with a grieving person will require that you’ve already taken your own personal spiritual journey to look beyond the limits of religion and find your spiritual truth. If not, this is a great opportunity for you to do so.

To help your friend explore this bigger view of spirituality, offer to visit a monastery, ashram, or spiritual center with them. Invite your friend to step beyond their comfort zone and visit Hindu and Buddhist Ashrams, Unity Churches, Science of the Mind Churches, Kabala centers and whatever else they’re willing to try.

The most essential healing piece that you can provide is to teach them to meditate. By quieting their monkey mind, they’ll begin to have a personal daily experience of something greater than the physical world. You can offer to take a meditation class with them to get them started on this path.

Conversation Three: The Reconnection Ritual—Reconnect Them to Their Departed

Invite your friend to do this meditation with you when she’s ready. Explain that it’s most helpful when she’s feeling incomplete about her loved one’s departure and needs answers. It can be done by phone or in person.

We can all learn to access our connection to the higher realms and to our departed loved ones. But it does require the discipline of daily mediation to quiet the monkey mind and tap into our higher consciousness.

Offer to sit with your friend and guide her through a simple ten-minute meditation using mantra (sacred sound) or repetition of the Lord’s Prayer. Tell her to close her eyes and sit comfortably without leaning her head back on anything. Repeat the mantra or prayer out loud. The mantra Om Namah Shivaya is a powerful mantra to use. It means “I bow to divinity.”

After the rhythm of the mantra is established, sit together silently repeating the mantra for ten minutes. Tell her that when she notices her thoughts getting in the way, she should gently bring her focus back to the sacred words.

At the end of ten minutes, tell her to stop repeating the mantra and open her eyes. In this quiet space, ask her to speak directly to her departed – out loud. She can share a happy memory of her departed loved one to call his spirit into the room.

Have her write down any images, ideas, or whispers that come to her during this process – especially when she asks her departed loved one specific questions. Remind her how essential it is that she learn to quiet her thoughts through meditation to receive messages from beyond.

As you both explore your connection to another realm, she will begin to sense her departed loved one trying to comfort and love her from beyond. The more you practice this meditation process, the stronger your connection to the other side will be. And the more powerfully healing this process will become.

About Sue Frederick

Author and life-long Intuitive Sue Frederick’s work, described as a “breath of fresh air” and “an enlightened new perspective,” has been featured in The New York Times, CNN, Real Simple, Yoga Journal, Complete Woman, Natural Health, Fit Yoga, and at venues like Omega Institute in Rhinebeck New York. She’s been interviewed on more than 200 radio and TV shows including Bridging Heaven & Earth. She’s the author of I See Your Dream Job: A Career Intuitive’s Guide to Finding the Work You Came Here to do; and I See Your Soul Mate: An Intuitive’s Guide to Finding & Keeping Love. Her newest book Bridges to Heaven: True Stories of Loved Ones on the Other Side comes out in September.

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CJ talks to sex therapist Laurie Watson, author of “Wanting Sex Again”, and asks all the questions you want to know, but were afraid to ask. We’ll cover the practical stuff about sex education that you never got at school. We’ll discuss the 3 most common reasons couples have sexless marriages and the top 3 questions you can ask your partner that will make a difference in your sex life.

Show Summary: * Segment 1: What defines Great Sex for men and women? How often do women and men want to have sex? * Segment 2: Why does sex some times become a power struggle? What is having a “couples’s mind” and how can it be part of the solution? * Segment 3: Laurie Watson and CJ demonstrates how you could ask a few of the 6 erotic questions you could ask your partner to improve your sex life. * Segment 4: Kids are the best contraception. What are some common problems moms have with being sexy sirens? Some creative date ideas to add the sizzle in your sex life. * Related Shows: Loving your spouse (Arielle Ford)-http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2012/10/11/oct-11-does-your-mate-drive-you-crazy/, hot steamy sex after 50 (Pepper Schwartz): http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2011/03/10/mar-10-is-a-hot-steamy-sex-life-after-age-40/ and Sex/Spirituality (Ragini Michaels): http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2011/03/10/march-10-sex-and-spiritulity-how-are-they-related/

Blog Post from our Guest 5 How-To Tips for Changing Your Sex Life :

by Laurie J. Watson, LMFT, LPC in Married and Still Doing It

“But how does the daddy sperm meet the mommy egg, Mommy?” asked my sweet 4-year-old. My clients ask, “But HOW do I change my sex life?” People feel frustrated when their requests fail to spur their partner to action. They’ve nagged, requested, demanded, yelled, cried, and gone silent.How to Change:1) Analyze your own part – is there anything you can do to make your partner’s response easier? Has she asked you to wear nice clothes so her visual take on you is more attractive? Has he asked for more aggression on your part but you didn’t think it was “lady-like?”Even if you’ve tried everything… sometimes you have to “go again.” You’ve felt discouraged and have withdrawn behaviors that your partner might need in favor of the power struggle. But to make change possible at this stage—do what works: initiation, romance, seduction, compliments, holding your temper,and helping your partner with the burden of life.

2) Accept developmental issues – some changes take more time. Newlyweds who are virgins just aren’t going to have fabulous sex until they have a few years of experience. Adjustments to parenthood,menopause, male pause, retirement, moving, empty nest and recommitments can temporarily derail sex. Have traumatic memoriesemerged? Is your partner grieving the loss of a parent? Is he/she depressed? Patience is everything for a lifetime of good sex. Ignoring important life events is selfish and will cause your partner to withdraw from you.

3) Appreciate the approximation –when your partner does something close to what you like—be all over it!!! Rave a little! Don’t say, “well, it was kind of what I’ve been describing but not really…” Don’t tweak everything. Human behavior can best be shaped by repetitive positive reactions. Encourage small steps.

Some people listen and exclaim, “Exactly!” They are fun to communicate with because it’s like playing catch. You toss a ball and they catch it. “Yes!” It is so satisfying to talk with them and everything flows. They aren’t faking being understood. Intuitively, super communicators know that understanding is a process and they very enthusiastically support every modicum of effort on their partner’s part to “get it.”

Other people are more anxious that they will never be understood. They are constantly correcting for perfection. Communication is tedious, interrupted. Sort of like barbed wire. Every whipstitch requires a detailed minor argument. Ugh. If you approach sex this same way, all the joy, fluidity, and feelings of satisfaction will be drained from the experience.

4) Accentuate the positive it – No one, no ONE, NO ONE!, likes to hear criticism in bed. If you can’t say it with a positive spin, shrapnel will explode and damage every aspect of your sex life. Just stop. Shut up. Don’t say anything. Finish this sentence… “I would love it in bed, if you…”

5) Act with integrity – sometimes this may mean saying, “I love you. I want you. If you don’t want sex or sex with me then we need to break up.” This is so scary. Especially if there are vows and children and mortgages. I’m not saying give an ultimatum, I’m saying: tell the truth. Never, ever say this unless you are absolutely at your end… like about-to-have-an-affair-with-the-secretary-end.

I’m asked, “Is it ever justified to end a marriage due to no sex?” First, let me say I have tremendous hope about helping people make sex hotter and better. I’ve seen lots of “no-sex” marriages recover. Sexual problems are always, always, always system problems… that means you contribute to the problems too.

But fidelity is a two-edged sword. It’s a promise to stay away from all others and a way into an alive, erotic life with your partner.

Pick a timeframe and watch and see what happens. Don’t listen to words; pay attention to actions. If your partner says they will do anything to change but don’t go to therapy, read everything, and really struggle… reassess. Don’t nag, simply observe. What happens without the push from your end. Check in with friends or a therapist to see if your expectations are unrealistic.

About our Guest: Laurie Watson, author of Wanting Sex Again, 2012 is an AASECT certified sex therapist and licensed couple’s therapist. Popular media personality, speaker and educator, she lectures at Duke University’s and UNC Chapel Hill’s medical schools on sexuality, intimacy and relationships. In practice for over 23 years, she’s the clinical director for Awakenings – Center for Intimacy and Sexuality in Raleigh, North Carolina.

Couples’ retreats, media appearances, interviews, lecture requests, appointments and Skype counseling are all handled through Awakenings. Link towww.LaurieWatson.com

Get her daily blog on AskLaurieWatson. You can find her book Wanting Sex Again on Amazon and at your local bookstore. For weekend retreats, intensives and consultations go to Sex Therapy.

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Wanting Sex Again: How to Rediscover Your Desire and Heal a Sexless Marriage

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Protecting the planet can start with us. What are the unhelpful thoughts and habits many of us have developed with respect to tending to our planet? Where did they come from? Part of changing any behavior is first being aware of its root causes. Dr. Kenneth Worthy, author of “Invisible Nature” provides a scholarly analysis of the root causes of why many of us have a disassociation with the environment and the societal conditioning that keeps us in a holding pattern.

Show Summary: * Segment 1: Ken discusses why disassociation gets at the core to our environmental issue. How are we disassociated with the environment? What are the impacts? * Segment 2: The key to behavioral change is understanding the foundation of the thoughts that drive that particular behavior. How did the philosophers of Ancient Greece create modern-day thinking that results in us being separate from being part of Nature? * Segment 3: Dr. Worthy contrasts Western philosophy and culture to Eastern culture and its impact on the environment * Segment 4: Dr. Worthy shares how his new way of thinking and living in congruence with his core values about protecting the environment is liberating. Dr. Worthy discusses how he was able to associate more with the environment. * For more shows like this: Living within Earth’s Limits-Solutions: http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2013/06/05/65-earth-harmony-solutions-for-living-in-harmony-with-earths-limits/, Making educated decisions with your purchases: http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2013/04/20/money-is-power-voting-with-your-wallet/, Yale Professor Jon Grim: http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2013/06/10/sustainability-a-spiritual-perspective/, Local Government: http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2012/04/26/apr-26-local-governments-for-sustainability/

Blog Post from our Guest Regaining our ethics, connecting with nature by Dr. Kenneth Worthy

Many people want to see less environmental destruction happening in the world. Just about every week, we hear about new environmental problems: polar bears drowning for lack of arctic sea ice, disappearing due to climate change; a radioactive landscape around Fukushima; the poaching of African elephants by the thousands for their ivory, their carcasses left to rot; the Pacific garbage patch. We realize that many of these problems relate to our everyday individual choices, yet the problems seem beyond our control. Between us and them lie corporations, government agencies, and myriad others making important decisions that determine whether there will be more contaminated landscapes, healthy forests, or flooding due to climate change.

This fragmentation of our lives, our disconnections from nature and from the consequences of our actions, makes it difficult to follow our own values and ethics. We can no longer be fully ethical beings because we can’t control how we’re individually affecting the world. Modern life is like a juggernaut racing out of control. We ride it, but we’re not quite sure how to steer it. It’s ironic: modern technologies give us tremendous powers including intercontinental travel and products from all over, but it also results in unintended consequences including species extinctions and contaminated landscapes.

Certainly, many people make choices in line with their own values and ethics. You may stop buying plastic water bottles or processed food containing palm oil (because it leads to the clear-cutting of rainforests and the loss of precious habitat for animals such as orangutans). You may reduce your electrical use so you contribute less to climate change. But even as we try to do good, we’re so dissociated from the consequences that we can’t fully know them and respond to them. Today’s manufacturing processes are so complex, that even the experts aren’t quite sure of all the environmental costs of a product. Perhaps you buy an electric car or a hybrid car wanting to reduce energy consumption. But a meta-study by the National Research Council says the full life-cycle energy costs (including manufacture, use, and disposal) of an electric car may actually be the same or even more than those of a regular gas car. Our ethics are thwarted by the dissociations running through our lives.

How can we regain control over our impacts on the world and over our ethics? The first stage is to begin to learn more about the products we consume, such as palm oil, and to be more involved in political processes, such as climate change policy, taking them out of the hands of corporations. It can be a fun and interesting project to delve into the recesses of our industrial culture.

But psychological studies show that information is vital but it’s not enough. We must begin to witness the outcomes of our actions and to get more personal experience in the pulsating, complex world of wild nature, to know it with our senses and our whole body. Only by directly sensing how we individually and societally impact nature can we be motivated and informed enough to protect it. Such reconnections will be a generations-long project, but the process itself will be gratifying, and the end result—a healthy planet and sustainable society—will be worth every effort.

Above is a link to a recent radio interview I did on Fire it UP with CJ, where we talked about how to be more conscious and empowered with our individual choices and to know that there are many other cultures that we can draw from in creating new ways of thinking and behaving. These ideas come from my book Invisible Nature: Healing the Destructive Divide between People and the Environment.

About Our Guest

Kenneth Worthy, Ph.D., a research associate at the University of California, Santa Cruz, earned his Ph.D. in environmental humanities at UC Berkeley and works as an independent scholar and lecturer teaching environmental history, philosophy, and ethics at UC Santa Cruz, St. Mary’s College of California, and UC Berkeley. Worthy’s recent book Invisible Nature: Healing the Destructive Divide between People and the Environment has been hailed as “a tour de force” and “required reading” by environmental thought leaders. While it bridges the gulf between humans and nature, his research also joins diverse fields of inquiry—psychology, anthropology, classics, ecopsychology, philosophy, environmental ethics, and environmental science—including an innovative look at what Milgram’s famous obedience experiments say about environmental crisis. Worthy has traveled to hundreds of places around the world, from dry-cultivated orchards on a Hopi desert mesa to flood-irrigated rice terraces on Balinese hillsides, observing how modern and non-modern cultures think about and shape nature and how nature in turn defines human possibilities.

Follow Dr. Kenneth Worthy on his new Twitter feed, on Facebook, or his environmental blog: Finding the Human Place in Nature.

My book Invisible Nature.

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What if changing your thoughts could change your destiny? Total transformation is possible, but it first starts in your mind. CJ talks to Dr. Joe Dispenza, one of the researchers in the award-winning film What the BLEEP Do We Know? !, about his new book “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself” and his upcoming Seattle Event “Getting Your Shift Together”.

Show Summary: * Segment 1: How can you track transformation scientifically?: Dr. Joe shares the transformations he’s witnessed during his workshop and how he is tracking these changes scientifically. Learn the types of brain changes scientists have been able to track before and after attending Dr. Joe’s workshop. * Segment 2: Total Transformation: Dr. Joe shares the miraculous health changes that have most astounded him over the last 12 mos. * Segment 3: Be the Creator of Your Own Reality: What are 3 key ingredients to making real change? What does neuroscience have to do with any of this? * Segment 4: Manifestation: How is this work akin to manifestation? What are some common mistakes or misunderstandings people have when trying to manifest their dreams? * Other Shows Like This: Richard Bandler (Founder of NLP): http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/626-the-creator-of-neuro-linguistic-programming-richard-bandler/

Blog Post by our Guest Creating the Greatest Ideal of Yourself By Dr Joe Dispenza What if, before you got out of bed and began your day, you took the time to ask yourself one simple question? “What is the greatest ideal of myself that I can be today?” If you were patient enough to wait for an answer, you would begin to think differently than if you just woke up and remembered yourself as the same person from the day before. In other words, if you waken in the morning, get out of bed on the same side, turn off your alarm clock the same way, use the toilet as always, look in the mirror to remember who you are, wash yourself in the shower the same way as the day before, groom yourself and dress yourself to look like everyone expects to see you, eat the same food for breakfast, drive to work as usual, see the same people at work that push the same emotional buttons and do the same memorized things that you know how to do so well, we could say that your mind and your brain would remain virtually unchanged.

A common principle in neuroscience says that “nerve cells that fire together, wire together.” Therefore, if you repeatedly think and act in identical ways on a daily basis, your brain will become molded into a specific hardwired pattern that will support the same level of mind. It’s ironic. Most people routinely think the same thoughts, perform the same actions, and secretly expect something different to show up in their lives.

If however, you were to sincerely think about a greater ideal of yourself before you started your day, you would begin to make your brain fire in new sequences, patterns, and combinations. And whenever you make your brain work differently, you just changed your mind. The working definition of mind, according to neuroscience, is the brain in action or the brain at work. You created a new mind than if you just continued on business as usual.

Because of the size of the human frontal lobe, you have the privilege of making thought more real than anything else. Thus, when you close your eyes and eliminate the barrage of stimuli from your external world, you can formulate a new image of yourself without distraction just by going within. And when you are truly focused and pay attention, there comes a moment when your brain does not know the difference between what is real in the external world and what you imagine in your mind. In fact, the thoughts you are embracing will become just like a real life experience in your mind. The moment this occurs, your brain up-scales its hardware to reflect what you’re imaging and intentionally thinking about. Consequently when you change your mind, you change your brain, and when you change your brain, you change your mind.

The quantum physics model of reality tells us that mind and matter are not separate elements. In fact, subjective mind has a true effect on the external objective world. Your mindful observation of reality matters. An intentional mind literally conditions and organizes matter into the blue prints of personal destiny. Hence, if reality is an extension of mind and your reality is your life then you might reason that by changing your mind, you should produce some identifiable changes in your life.

As you sharpen your abilities to observe some desired destiny from a new ideal of yourself instead of from the same old self, your life should reorganize itself in new and unusual ways. Why? Because the former personality, which is made up of how you typically think, act, and feel, created the reality you presently are living. But the new ideal has the ability to create a new life.

And lastly, if you committed to not arising to face the day until you actually felt like that new ideal, you would also be conditioning the body to finally work together with your new mind. Actually, your thoughts condition your mind and your feelings condition your body. And when you have mind and body working together, you have the power of the universe behind you. When you walk through your life that day, maintaining this modified state, something should be different in your world as a result of your effort. No one is excluded from this phenomenon.

I truly believe that every person is a divine creator. Independent of your race, gender, culture, social status, education, religious beliefs, or even past mistakes, there is a power within each of us that is common to every human being—and we are all connected to it. This invisible consciousness is the quantum field expressing itself in all things. It is both personal and, at the same time, universal. It is the giver of life. This refined mindful energy is conscious enough to support, maintain, protect, and heal us every moment. It keeps our heart beating hundreds of thousands of times per day; creates more than 60 million cells every minute; and organizes hundreds of thousands of chemical reactions in one cell every second, just to name a few. It is also the same intelligence that creates supernovas in distant galaxies, that keeps the planets rotating around the sun, and that loves the lily into bloom.

When we take the time to develop a relationship with this mind, when we make contact with it, when we use it to produce desired events in our future, when we ask it to intervene in our lives and finally, when we emulate by being a creator, when we express its power, love, and intelligence through us, we become more like it—we become divine.

A good first step on this path is to do something that breaks your routine. I have found over the years that when you retreat from the world and eliminate the typical environmental stimuli that cause you to think in routine ways, you can begin the process of true change. In order to change, you have to think greater than your present reality, you have to dream beyond the familiar feelings you’ve memorized that contribute to your identity-self, and you must create a life that exists in a future time.

Because we share the same brain, we all have the ability to accomplish this feat. It only takes learning and reorganizing your thinking in order to prepare the mind for a better future. In the Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself workshops you will be given the information and the tools to understand and rewire your mind and body so you can break the habit of being yourself.

Source: Creating the Greatest Ideal of Yourself ©2009 Encephalon, LLC – See more at: http://www.drjoedispenza.com/joedispenza/ctab/TyVCOCVFMiVCRQ==/Creating-the-Greatest-Ideal-of-Yourself#sthash.CrIYd6aW.dpuf

About our Guest: Joe Dispenza, D.C., studied biochemistry at Rutgers University in New Brunswick, N.J. He also holds a BS degree with an emphasis in Neuroscience. Dr. Dispenza also received his Doctor of Chiropractic Degree at Life University in Atlanta, Georgia, graduating magna cum laude.

Dr. Dispenza’s postgraduate training and continuing education has been in neurology; neuroscience; brain function and chemistry; cellular biology; memory formation; and aging and longevity. He is an invited member of Who’s Who in America, an honorary member of the National Board of Chiropractic Examiners, the recipient of a Clinical Proficiency Citation for clinical excellence in doctor-patient relationships from Life University, and a member of Pi Tau Delta – the International Chiropractic Honor Society.

Over the past decade, Dr. Dispenza has lectured in 26 different countries on six continents educating people about the role and function of the human brain. He has taught thousands of people how to re-program their thinking through scientifically proven neuro-physiologic principles. As a result, this information has taught many individuals to reach their specific goals and visions by eliminating self-destructive habits. His approach, taught in a very simple method, creates a bridge between true human potential and the latest scientific theories of neuroplasticity. He explains how thinking in new ways, as well as changing beliefs, can literally rewire one’s brain. The premise of his work is founded in his total conviction that every person on this planet has within them, the latent potential of greatness and true unlimited abilities.

– See more at: http://www.drjoedispenza.com/joedispenza/ctab/RiVCRSVFNQ==/about#sthash.Nmera7WS.dpuf

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Just when you need it the most. Finally, a way to understand what is happening in your teen’s brain. Join CJ as she talks to Dr. Scott Swartzwelder a professor of psychiatry, psychology, and neuroscientist at Duke University and author of “What are they thinking?!”. We’ll look at the teenage brain and cover what you need to know about your teen’s brain, the new drugs out there and the potential brain damage they present, and whether your teenager’s brain is rotting with video games.

Show Summary * Segment 1: A succinct and super clear explanation of what is happening with your teen’s brain. You’ll finally understand why it’s so hard for your teens to remember things, plan, have impulse control, and make decisions. Scott describes why it’s important for your kid’s brain to have an array of different experiences. * Segment 2: What drugs are now out there? What are some drugs that you should encourage your kids to NEVER try? Why is alcohol the one thing that Scott worries about the most? What are the powerful effects alcohol has on the brain? * Segment 3: CJ takes a bunch of internet “facts” on the benefits of video games and Scott checks the veracity of these claims based on actual research. Will your child’s brain rot through playing video games? What are the real concerns with video games? What are reasonable limits on screen time for your teens? * Segment 4: CJ continues the conversation between fact and fiction on video game benefits.

Related content: Differences between girl/boy’s brain and sculpting your kid’s activities http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2011/09/22/brain-science-dr-joanne-deak/, Expert advice on handling most common discipline issues: http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2013/09/04/94-positive-parenting-solutions-listen-with-nagging/, Having a good conversation with your teen: http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2013/09/09/911-parental-guidance-talking-with-your-teens/, Talking to your teen about Drugs/sex: http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2012/09/27/sept-27th-help-for-parents-of-teens-is-on-the-way-dr-rob-lehman-and-julie-metzger/ and the Secret Life of Teens: http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2011/09/08/sept-15-my-teenage-werewolf-the-inside-scoop-on-the-life-of-todays-teens/

Article by our Guest source: http://www.aacap.org

Many parents do not understand why their teenagers occasionally behave in an impulsive, irrational, or dangerous way. At times, it seems like they don’t think things through or fully consider the consequences of their actions. Adolescents differ from adults in the way they behave, solve problems, and make decisions. There is a biological explanation for this difference. Studies have shown that brains continue to mature and develop throughout childhood and adolescence and well into early adulthood.

Scientists have identified a specific region of the brain called the amygdala which is responsible for instinctual reactions including fear and aggressive behavior. This region develops early. However, the frontal cortex, the area of the brain that controls reasoning and helps us think before we act, develops later. This part of the brain is still changing and maturing well into adulthood.

Other specific changes in the brain during adolescence include a rapid increase in the connections between the brain cells and pruning (refinement) of brain pathways. Nerve cells develop myelin, an insulating layer which helps cells communicate. All these changes are essential for the development of coordinated thought, action, and behavior.

Changing Brains Mean that Adolescents Act Differently From Adults

Pictures of the brain in action show that adolescents’ brains function differently than adults when decision-making and problem solving. Their actions are guided more by the amygdala and less by the frontal cortex. Research has also demonstrated that exposure to drugs and alcohol before birth, head trauma, or other types of brain injury can interfere with normal brain development during adolescence.

Based on the stage of their brain development, adolescents are more likely to:

act on impulse
misread or misinterpret social cues and emotions
get into accidents of all kinds
get involved in fights
engage in dangerous or risky behavior

Adolescents are less likely to:

think before they act
pause to consider the potential consequences of their actions
modify their dangerous or inappropriate behaviors

These brain differences don’t mean that young people can’t make good decisions or tell the difference between right and wrong. It also doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be held responsible for their actions. But an awareness of these differences can help parents, teachers, advocates, and policy makers understand, anticipate, and manage the behavior of adolescents.

About Our Guest Dr. Scott Swartzwelder is a clinical neuropsychologist who studies the ways in which alcohol and other drugs interact with the brain, and particularly with brain mechanisms of learning and memory during adolescence and early adulthood. He has published over 130 scientific papers, written four books translating the science of drug actions into lay language, and has trained more than 50 scientists and clinicians. In addition he has created and taught several innovative college courses on brain mechanisms of memory and drug effects, and has consulted extensively as a scientific advisor with a number of national institutes and departments, as well as with numerous public education and policy organizations. In addition to his research, teaching, and clinical consultation, he now lectures and consults to promote effective education about the developing brain, alcohol, and other drugs.

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Wouldn’t your family and you like to start eating healthy meals today? How would knowing your temperament and eating personality change everything? CJ talks to Dr. Deborah Kennedy, a pediatric nutrition specialist, and author of “The Picky Eating Solution: Work with your Child’s unique eating type to beat mealtime struggles forever” and share the latest and greatest about sugar and healthy eating for your whole family.

Show Summary

Segment 1: Isn’t it time for us to reexamine the antiquated rules we learned about eating ? What are some simple rules for today’s family to try? How could your child’s temperament affect how and what they eat? We’ll share 2 of the most common eating personalities and share some tips for getting your kids to eat healthy foods.
Segment 2: Learn the latest research on sugar and how much sugar a typical kid consumes. Get 5 practical and easy steps to ween your children off of their sugar addiction.
Related posts: The science behind why we hate certain foods: http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2012/09/20/sept-6th-a-picky-eaters-quest-to-understand-why-we-hate-the-foods-we-hate/, and how to cook love and light into your familie’s meals: http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2013/03/01/mar-5-coooking-with-light-and-love-cynthia-lear/.

YouTube Video and Blog Post from Our Guest Dr. Deb Kennedy speaks on Energy drinks.

Train Your Sugar Monster – 10/28/2013

There are some times in our lives that we need to go with the flow, and others when it is certainly appropriate to buck the system. When it comes to Halloween are you the house that children love to come to, with great decorations and Halloween candy, or you the house that gives out raisins, pencils and other sugar-free treats?

I am certainly a believer that our children are eating too much candy. In fact I wrote a book about the subject,Beat Sugar Addiction Now for Kids; about how our kids are eating their weight in sugar every year and why that is so utterly unhealthy for them.When it comes to Halloween however, I say use this day and the weeks after as a learning opportunity for our kids. Teach them how to live in a world filled with junk food. Teach them that 1. Candy is a treat 2. You can have it sometimes and 3. You first have to eat healthy stuff first before you get your treat. Here are some great suggestions that work if you both make a plan and discuss it with your trick-or-treaters before Halloween arrives: * Starting Halloween night, limit the amount of candy that your child can consume in one day. One small bar for young children, and two for older children for example. * Set a time limit on the number of days that your child can eat candy: no more than a week after Halloween. * Use that “treat time” to your advantage. If you have a child that refuses to eat his vegetables, use his one small candy bar as a bribe to get him to eat veggies only during the week after Halloween. * Make a plan to get that stuff out of your house where both you and your child will see it, and perhaps hear it calling to you. * Make a plan BEFORE Halloween to get rid of the candy: Here are some options:

o Switch Witch: Have your child put their candy in a bowl by their bed; when they wake up a small gift or money has taken its place

o Operation Gratitude: Send it to our troops at http://www.operationgratitude.com/halloween-candy-buy-back-2012/

o Dentist Buy Back: See if a dentist in your area buys back candy at http://www.halloweencandybuyback.com

o Throw it Away: It’s junk, throw it away.

You don’t have to be the house that gets ‘egged’ on the block because you give out pencils. Use Halloween as a training opportunity that’s drives home two essential nutrition messages that children need to learn to grow up strong and healthy: 1. There are two groups of food, healthy food and treats 2. You can have a small amount of treats only after you eat the healthy stuff first.

About our Guest Dr. Deb, the founder of Build Healthy Kids®, has been at the forefront of nutritional studies and consumer awareness for almost two decades. Her experience ranges from pediatric nutrition and nutritional oncology to product development and kids’ education programs. As a nutrition consultant and researcher, Deb has worked with parents and patients to integrate cutting edge healthy eating concepts into their lives.

In recent years, she has used her vast experience in the field of nutrition to found companies, like Build Healthy Kids and NutritionOptions LLC, which help educate parents about issues that affect their childrens’ long-term health. Dr. Deb has worked at Yale, Columbia, Tufts and Cornell University. She is a coauthor of Beat Sugar Addiction Now! for Kids and author of Nutrition Bites. She is currently working on her third book which deals with children’s eating personalities.

As a nutrition consultant and researcher, Deb has worked with parents and patients to integrate cutting edge healthy eating concepts into their lives.

In recent years, she has used her vast experience in the field of nutrition to found companies, like Build Healthy Kids and NutritionOptions LLC, which help educate parents about issues that affect their childrens’ long-term health. She has worked at Yale, Columbia, Tufts and Cornell Universities and has over 23 years of experience in the field.

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Do you want a basic primer to use for having a respectful and authentic conversation with your child? An essential ingredient is understanding your kid’s side of the equation. Vanessa Van Petten, winner of the Mom’s Choice Award and author of “Do I Get My Allowance Before or After I’m Grounded” has long been a trusted resource used by teens and parents to help bridge the communication divide. Get the much-needed perspective you need when talking to your child.

Show Summary: * Segment 1: How to get your kids to open up to you? Vanessa shares a simple tech tip to separate your child’s school and home life. Learn how to read your child’s face and whether they are experiencing fear about a situation at school or home. * Segment 2: How to tell if your kids are lying? You want to know “What happened”, but you aren’t sure if your child is telling you the full story. How can you tell if your kid is lying to you? What body language can you look for when someone is lying? * Segment 3: How to have a difficult conversation with your teen about drugs, sex, etc? 4 steps to prepare yourself for a difficult conversation and an example of what a productive conversation would sound like. 2 simple tips for getting your child to trust and open up to you during a challenging conversation? * Segment 4: How to place respectful and well-considered limits on social media? The good and the bad of social media for teens.

Related posts: * Positive Parenting Expert discusses how to handle back talking, homework battles, and chores(Amy McCready appearing on CNN, CBS, etc on http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2013/09/04/94-positive-parenting-solutions-listen-with-nagging/ * What is happening to your teen’s brain: http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2011/09/22/brain-science-dr-joanne-deak/ * Top 3 conversations you should have with your kid: http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2011/02/24/feb-24th-fire-it-up-with-cj-great-conversations-you-can-have-with-your-kids-about-puberty-and-sex-with-julie-metzger-and-rob-lehman/

YouTube Video by our Guest About Our Guest

Vanessa Van Petten is a CNN columnist, winner of the Mom’s Choice Award and an author with Penguin Books. She travels the country speaking to all types of groups about family relationships, teen lifestyles, advertising to Net-Generation and many other issues pertaining to Gen Y. She also gives keynote and inspirational speeches. – See more at: http://www.radicalparenting.com/vanessa-van-petten-speaker/#sthash.kUOT5r1p.dpuf

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Parents can now breathe a sigh of relief. Amy McCready, Founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, has taken the agony out of parenting with her indispensable and simple-to-use program described in her book, “If I Have to Tell You One More Time”. Join CJ as she gets the answers you need to the 3 most common challenges for parents: back talk, homework battles, and chores.

Show Summary: * Segment 1: The root to most of your child’s misbehavior can be understood with these 3 key concepts. Learn the one thing you can do 10 min each day that will noticeably reduce your child’s misbehavior in a few weeks. * Segment 2: Homework Battles – What are the main reasons that homework battles occur? What are a few things to try to reduce homework battles? * Segment 3: Repeated Forgetfulness – How can you get your child to remember and take ownership of their responsibilities? 4 simple and powerful ideas. * Segment 4: Back talking- When did “whatever” become an appropriate response to EVERYTHING. What’s happening when your child back talks? What is the subtext behind their hurtful words? What can you do to restore respectful conversation?

Related Posts * What is happening to your teen’s brain: http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2011/09/22/brain-science-dr-joanne-deak/ * Top 3 conversations you should have with your kid: http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2011/02/24/feb-24th-fire-it-up-with-cj-great-conversations-you-can-have-with-your-kids-about-puberty-and-sex-with-julie-metzger-and-rob-lehman/ * How to read your child’s body language with Teen Expert (Vanessa Van Petten): http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2013/09/09/911-parental-guidance-talking-with-your-teens/

Blog Post from our Guest

How do you get the grade without breaking the bank?

Book report or soccer practice? You can probably guess which one your child would prefer. Each year, our kids have more opportunities in school, more sports to play, and more clubs to join. How can we prevent studying from falling to the bottom of their to-do list?

Many parents take the seemingly logical approach of rewarding children when they earn a good grade. And nothing says “Nice work!” to a kid like money. After all, what’s wrong with paying for a job well done?

Unfortunately, these monetary rewards – and all rewards in general – have more negative effects than positive ones. To begin with, when we offer rewards, we are letting our kids know that we don’t have the confidence in them to behave or perform a task without being rewarded for it.

No only that, but a cash payout rewards the outcome of the work, rather than encouraging the good study habits themselves. A growing body of research is finding that rewards diminish – rather than encourage – the behavior with which they are associated. Students end up becoming less intrinsically motivated to do their studies and don’t develop a love for learning. Instead of an internal drive to do something, they now simply expect an external payoff.

Well-intentioned parents need not worry…there are simple steps we can take to develop good study habits without robbing our wallets.

Use encouragement, not rewards.

Regardless of what system you’re currently using in your home, it’s not too late to make a change. The first step is to introduce the new policy to your children. Your message should reinforce the fact that they are old enough to put forth their best effort without needing to be rewarded for it. Be sure to also let them know that you are confident this is something they can handle.

From here, we need to resist the temptation to reward. Instead, switch the focus to identifying and encouraging the good study habits. For instance, it’s Tuesday night, and Sarah has been studying for Wednesday’s history test for the last few days. Rather than reaching for our pocketbook when she gets her test result, this is the perfect opportunity to encourage the good study habits she’s showed. Take a moment to tell Sarah, “You’ve been studying hard for this test tomorrow – you should be proud of yourself!”

Connect good habits to good grades.

Sarah takes her history test and brings home an “A” the next day. This is great news! Now is the time to follow through on our new rewards-free system, and tie Sarah’s grade to her work. “Sarah, you planned ahead and studied hard for this test. That “A” represents all your hard work – you really earned that grade!” Sarah has learned that while an “A” is great, what matters most is the effort behind it.

By using encouragement instead of rewards, and by linking good effort to good grades, we set the groundwork for our kids to develop positive study habits. In our next blog post, we’ll look at a few more tips to keep the hassle out of homework.

About Our Guest Parenting expert Amy McCready has been creating and delivering training programs for over 20 years in Fortune 500 companies and community organizations.

Amy founded Positive Parenting Solutions, Inc. in 2004 and developed the popular and successful Breakthrough Course that has changed the lives of thousands of parents through in-person seminars, speeches and online parenting training webinars.

Due to demand from parents around the country and abroad, Positive Parenting Solutions Online was developed in 2008 to give parents everywhere the skills, knowledge and tools to correct their children’s misbehaviors permanently without nagging, reminding or yelling. She speaks to them “one-on-one” through the most advanced and thorough Web 2.0 parenting course available today.

Amy McCready is frequently asked to provide expert parenting advice for print and online parenting articles. She is a sought after keynote speaker, writer, parenting coach, spokesperson, trainer and most importantly – Mom!

Amy is also the author of the critically aclaimed “If I Have To Tell You One More Time…The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids To Listen Without Nagging, Reminding or Yelling”

Amy received her Bachelor of Science Degree in Finance from Penn State University and is certified as a Positive Discipline Parent Educator. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact Amy at:

Amy (at) PositiveParentingSolutions (dot) com

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Have you tried every pain medication and still in pain? Richard Moss, a former Emergency room doctor, shares the process he’s developed over the last 37 years that have helped many of those suffering from pain. His simple and profound program may surprise you. It’s natural, free, and you don’t have to travel anywhere to get it.

Show Summary * Segment 1: Being Present- Why bother? What does it mean to be present and why it’s different than just being focused on one thing? * Segment 2: Presence – Better than Aspirin – Richard Moss used to run marathons, back pack, and more. Now, his back pain has left him in a wheel chair. He explains why this is the happiest time in his life. What is the number one area in life that causes the most pain and suffering? * Segment 3: A check-up for your mind– Where does your mind go when it’s not in the NOW? How can you train it to move to the present? * Segment 4: How can your wife penetrate you? How can you go beyond the words spoken in a relationship to a much deeper place of truly relating to someone?

YouTube of our Guest About our Guest Richard Moss is an internationally respected leader in the field of inner transformation, subtle body-mind dynamics, and living a path of conscious relationships. In 1977 Richard was a practicing medical doctor when he experienced a spontaneous spiritual illumination that awakened him to the multi-dimensional nature of human consciousness. This realization profoundly transformed his understanding of the roots of emotional suffering, and inspired him to explore the almost limitless human potential for growth and healing.

Impelled by this opening, he released the practice of medicine to devote his life to mentoring individuals and couples whose lives have brought them to the point where they hunger to explore the mystery of their being. Whether called to his work by their soul’s yearning to awaken and grow, or impelled by a health, career, or relationship crisis, his comprehensive and evolutionary approach to healing and forging loving relationships has transformed the lives of tens of thousands of people. He is particularly renowned for the innovative, experiential nature of his workshops and longer retreats that offer individuals direct experience of life-changing states of consciousness and provide them with very effective models and practices for on-going personal growth.

He guides seminars and retreats in North and South America, Europe, and Australia, and is available for private mentoring for individuals at his home in Colorado. He has published 7 seminal books on his visionary approach to human evolution which have been translated into 6 languages.

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Self-help books abound with ideas on getting to meaning and happiness (e.g.- gratitude, meditation, yoga, etc). Where is the proof that any of these things matter or make a difference? Join Dr. Shane Lopez, a Gallup Senior Scientist, as he shares the results of 18 years of research and 100’s of studies on what research suggests are the key ingredients to living a happy life.

Show Summary Segment 1: The 3 Key ingredients for achieving happiness. What do most self-help books miss as one of the key components to build hope?

Segment 2: Personal Benefits of Hope: What most people don’t get about hope and why it matters.

Segment 3: The Hope Cycle: How to build hope if you don’t have it.

Segment 4: Regoaling: How do you know when to quit on a goal or continue?

YouTube with our Guest About Our Guest Shane J. Lopez, Ph.D., is the world’s leading researcher on hope. His mission is to help people of all ages exercise some control over what their future can become and to teach them how to aim for the future they want in school, work and life. He is also one of the most vocal advocates of psychological reform of America’s education system. He helps schools function less like impersonal factories and more like dynamic human development centers that help students achieve the meaningful futures they say they really want – including a good job and a happy family.

Dr. Lopez

is Gallup Senior Scientist in Residence and Research Director for the Clifton Strengths Institute. As chief architect of the Gallup Student Poll, he has measured hope in over a million people. This measure of hope, engagement, and wellbeing taps into the hearts and minds of U.S. public school students to determine what drives achievement. (It is available at no cost to any school or district interested in using it to start a hope conversation in their community). Dr. Lopez is the director of the annual Gallup Wellbeing Forum, which convenes scholars, leaders, and decision makers to discuss the issues that determine happiness and health.

He researches the links between hope, strengths development, academic success, and overall wellbeing and collaborates with scholars around the world on these issues. He specializes in hope and strengths enhancement for students from preschool through college graduation, advocating a whole-school strengths model that also builds the strengths expertise of educators, parents, and youth development organizations. Dr. Lopez has provided strengths mentoring to thousands of college students, including academic, career, and life planning, and he advises schools, colleges, and universities on these issues. He is coauthor of the statistical reports for the Clifton StrengthsFinder and the Clifton Youth StrengthsExplorer.

His Website: http://www.hopemonger.com/

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Don’t wait until it’s too late to reclaim your life. Hear inspirational stories of how people with mental illness can live productive and happy lives. Join CJ as she has an information packed talk with Dr. Lloyd Sederer, the medical director of the largest state mental health system in the United States, on how to get yourself or your loved the help you need. Show Summary

Segment 1: Turn your life around. Dr. Lloyd Sederer shares the stunning recovery story of noted disaster and mental health expert,Dr. Carol North, who suffered from several psychotic episodes in college and medical school. CJ and Dr. Lloyd have a candid discussion of believable life goals those with a mental illness can achieve. Why is important that society at large and families change up the way we talk and think about mental illness?
Segment 2 Don’t wait until it’s too late. Proper treatment can prevent brain damage and reduce occurrences of symptoms. What to look for if you suspect mental illness? What actions can you take? The risks of not responding. Dr. Lloyd answers questions on depression and kindling from a caller.
Segment 3: A family intervention: How to approach a family member if you suspect a mental health issue? What to say, and how to say it? We take questions from listener Fred, who is concerned with his mentally ill daughter-in-law and how he can ensure his grandson’s safety.
Segment 4: Initial Steps to Get the Help You need: CJ and Dr. Lloyd discuss why it’s so important to not go it alone. Who can you turn to if you suspect a problem to have a safe confidential conversation? Why is it so important to be a well-informed health advocate for your medical needs.

Blog Post from our Guest (Source: Huffington Post) By Lloyd I. Sederer, MD

Psychiatric medications are among the most frequently-prescribed medications in this country and throughout the world. One in 10 Americans takes an anti-depressant. Yet despite the incessant barrage of multi-media drug promotions, you may not have the answers to the questions you most want answered.

I asked more than a dozen expert psychiatric colleagues, and myself, the questions they most frequently receive about psychiatric medications from people who take them or their families. Here are a dozen of those many questions; the responses are mine.

1. What are the chances that my medication will (or will not) work?

This could be the most frequently asked question — if all who wondered dared to ask it. For a medication to be approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), it must be shown to be safe and effective. “Effective” means that it outperforms the placebo effect, which can result in improvement in more that 30 percent of individuals.

A common example is antidepressant medications for depression, which can improve symptoms for approximately 75 percent of people suffering from moderate to severe illness (mild to moderate depression often responds to non-drug treatments). But the effectiveness of antidepressants depends on finding the right medication for an individual, at an adequate dose (not too little and not too much), taking it reliably for enough time and without barriers to its effectiveness like alcohol or drug abuse. Similar effectiveness is found for anti-manic and anti-psychotic medications, particularly for acute symptoms.

Medications have limited effectiveness in eating and personality disorders, except when used for another co-occurring mental disorder.

But medications do not cure mental disorders; they treat symptoms. Adequate sleep, good nutrition, moderate (or no) use of alcohol and non-prescribed drugs, psychotherapy, the hard work of recovery or rehabilitation, and support are what everyone needs to manage an illness, be it a mental or a physical illness.

2. How soon will it work?

Some medications work in hours, like tranquilizing medications. Some can take up to six weeks or longer, like antidepressants. Some are meant to prevent relapse or recurrence, so they work over time. This is a good question to ask when a doctor is writing the prescription.

3. How will I know if it’s working?

This is a crucial question. I urge patients and their families to set specific goals for treatment early on. Medications work on specific symptoms like sleep problems or anxiety or feeling very blue or agitated; speak with the doctor about what symptoms the medication is meant to improve. Improved functioning at school and work can take more time to achieve than symptoms, but if you are clear about your goals and monitor them (with others you trust) you will know if the medication is working.

4. Will this medication change my personality?

No. Your personality is you; it is who you have been since you were young. The effects of a medication can change how you feel (more focused, more energetic, more clear-thinking — or more restless, sleepier, or without sexual desire) but that is not a change in your personality.

5. Will this medication change my brain?

The goal of a medication for a mental illness is to change how part of the brain is working in order to improve how a person feels and thinks, and enable them to behave more like they want to. There are also unwanted side effects that can result from how a medication can affect other parts of the brain, like regions involved in appetite or alertness or muscle tone. There is no such thing as a perfect medication with only benefits and no side effects, so you will need to weigh benefits and side effects and decide if a medication is right for you.

6. If I take this medication, does it mean I’m crazy?

Talk of craziness remains an unfortunate residue of the stigma that continues to pervade how people think of mental illness (see my recent HuffPost blog “The Painted Bird: Stigma and Mental Illness”).

Mental illnesses are diseases of the brain and mind, not inexplicable happenings or failures of will and character. We need to think of taking medication for a mental illness as part of a comprehensive plan by which a person manages an illness — any illness — and rebuilds functioning at school, home, and work as well as with family and friends.

7. Will I have to be on this medication for the rest of my life?

Not necessarily, but you should not stop a medication suddenly or without discussing it with your doctor. Over time, dosage can be reduced, and with planning a trial off a medication can be tried. People whose illness has gone on for years or who have had repeated episodes of acute problems usually require taking medications for a long period of time in the same way that individuals with diabetes, high blood pressure and asthma do.

8. Will I become addicted to this medication?

None of the antidepressant, mood-stabilizing, or antipsychotic medications are addicting. However, with benzodiazepam tranquilizers and some sleep medications our bodies can develop tolerance (where a higher dose is needed to achieve the same effect) or dependence (where a person experiences withdrawal symptoms if the drug is quickly stopped). This can also happen with many pain medications.

9. Will the medication make me fat?

Many psychiatric medications bring the unwanted side effect of weight gain. But some medications used for similar conditions (for example, in the class of antidepressant or antipsychotic agents) are associated with greater weight gain than others. Carefully considering which medication to use, coupled with attention to diet and exercise, can prevent or minimize weight gain.

10. Can I drink while I’m on this medication?

Excessive drinking (or use of non-prescribed medications or street drugs) is not a good idea for a person whose brain is affected by a mental illness. For those who have a co-occurring alcohol or drug-use disorder, abstinence will be a necessary aim. In some instances, alcohol may interfere or alter blood levels of the medication, so it is important to check with your doctor. For people with no substance-use problem and mild to moderate or stable illness, I usually say that they may be able to enjoy a drink. Try one and see how it feels. For people on psychiatric medications, keep in mind that one drink can feel like two or three.

11. Will this medication affect my sex life?

Serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs and SNRIs), used especially for depression and anxiety disorders, can produce problems with sexual arousal as well as in achieving orgasm — in men and women. In some cases, a person’s libido, or sex drive, is reduced. For people, however, who lost their drive from depression, it can improve with treatment. There is one antidepressant, bupropion, which has not shown these problems. For other antidepressants, there are ways to help by adjusting the dose or timing of the drug or using a medication to enhance sexual functioning.

Other types of medication (for high blood pressure, heart disease and other general medical conditions) may affect sexual desire and performance, so if that is happening to you, speak with your doctor. Losing the pleasure of sex — for you or your partner — may not need to be a consequence of taking medication.

12. My child refuses to take a medication. Can I hide it in his or her food?

Trust is the bedrock of every relationship. A family can feel very desperate and want to do something like this when a loved one refuses treatment and is suffering and failing. But the cost in loss of trust usually outweighs any (temporary) benefits.

—More answers about medications, other treatments, and more broadly about mental health care are in my book, The Family Guide to Mental Health Care. The opinions expressed here are solely mine as a psychiatrist and public health advocate. I receive no support from any pharmaceutical or device company.

www.askdrlloyd.com

About our Guest LLOYD I. SEDERER, M.D., is Medical Director of the New York State Office of Mental Health (OMH), the nation’s largest state mental health system. As New York’s “chief psychiatrist”, he provides medical leadership for a $3.6 billion per year mental health system which annually serves near to 700,000 people and includes 23 hospitals, 90 clinics, two research institutes, and community services throughout a state of ~ 20 million people.

Dr. Sederer is an Adjunct Professor at the Columbia/Mailman School of Public Health.

Previously, Dr. Sederer served as the Executive Deputy Commissioner for Mental Hygiene Services in NYC, the City’s “chief psychiatrist”. He also has been Medical Director and Executive Vice President of McLean Hospital in Belmont, MA, a Harvard teaching hospital, and Director of the Division of Clinical Services for the American Psychiatric Association.

mentalhealth #PsychiatricMedications #Antidepressant Medications #Antidepressants #Mental HealthDrugs #Mental HealthMedication #MentalHealthMedications #MentalHealthTreatment # Mental Illness , #MentalIllnessTreatment , #PsychiatricDrugs , #Questions AboutAntidepressants , #QuestionsAboutPsychiatricMedications , #QuestionsAboutPsychiatricMedicine , #HealthyLivingNews

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What has the world come to when a thief becomes one of the leading experts in business ethics? Think about it. Why do Fortune 500 companies hire computer hackers? It’s because a hacker has first hand experience of the mindset and our human frailties needed to commit a crime. Chuck Gallagher, author of “Second Chances: Transforming Adversity into Opportunity” explains his journey from being Inmate #11642-058 to now wearing a pin stripe suit back in corporate America. CJ asks all the questions you’d want to ask a criminal, but were afraid to ask. A great show to listen to if you have a skeleton in your closet (big or small) and are seeking redemption.

Show Summary * Segment 1: What was the crime Chuck Gallagher committed? What are the 3 patterns that every deceitful act (stealing, cheating, etc) starts with? Did Chuck ever fear being caught? What gave Chuck the hubris to feel he was untouchable? * Segment 2: Did Chuck Gallagher ever feel remorse or shame about his actions? What was running through his mind during his lowest moments? What was the advice given by a stranger that turned his whole life around? * Segment 3: Every major transformation is preceded by some miracle. What was Chuck Gallagher’s miracle? What is his advice for anyone who is reached their lowest low? Why was prison the best thing that could have happened in Chuck’s life? * Segment 4: It’s easy to judge another and point fingers. What introspection would Chuck Gallagher ask of you?

Blog Post by our Guest Whistleblower Tips: The Best Defense to Prevent Ethical Lapses by Chuck Gallagher

Statistics indicate that 42 percent of the time frauds occurring in companies are discovered by someone “tipping” off someone else about the fraud or the possibility of ethical lapses.

I am often amazed that it is that high, for all too often we want to look the other way, or we are afraid to confront those committing the fraud. I completely understand the hesitancy; many of us are afraid to rock the boat. What we often fail to realize is that the person committing the fraud is putting us in danger as a company even before we say anything.

Marcy J. Maslov recently wrote an online article (May 15, 2013) for Corporate Compliance Insights entitled: “Ethics in the Workplace: If You See Something, Say Something — Or Not?”

Ms. Maslov used the example of a stockroom manager taking his toolbox home each evening and using the tools for private use. Then in the morning he brings the toolbox back seemingly intact. Sounds as though it’s all pretty harmless, doesn’t it?

As Ms. Maslov explains, it is not quite as harmless as it might first appear.

Certainly it is unethical for the manager to take something that is not his or hers to take. But what if you saw it happen? What if you saw the toolbox leave the company under the arm of the manager? What if the manager was your boss? What if, you were working the late shift and actually needed one of those tools?

As the article states: “We decide not to get involved because the end result is that the toolbox is returned. No harm, no foul, so there’s no reason for us to report this or intervene in any way.”

Let us move away from the toolbox scenario and place it in more of an office environment. Instead of a toolbox, suppose it was an office manager who took home her small printer every evening to do envelopes for her side business? Suppose it was a marketing manager who liberated a computer monitor on the weekends?

At what point would we stop looking the other way? At what point would it not be OK? Is there a “dollar amount” that we would never like a co-worker to exceed in terms of overnight theft? For example, suppose a marketing administrator steals a few reams of paper to print up manuals for her school’s parent-teacher organization. That might be sort of OK with us. Suppose then, that the same co-worker liberated a few “forgotten computers” from an office storeroom to teach a computer class on the weekends? This would probably not be acceptable – and we might say something, sort of–.

Is there a situation where we might object if a “vital element,” were borrowed? Let’s imagine the same administrator in a teaching hospital trotting off with a piece of common office equipment that is returned each morning. Now let us imagine the administrator can gain access to a spare, portable EKG monitor for the local volunteer ambulance corps to use for their weekend shifts? We might have a real big problem with that one — and we might be very tempted to snitch, or would we?

The Fear and the Policy

As I teach in my seminars and as Ms. Maslov echoes in her article is that in reality, ethical missteps are all the same because they will eventually lead to the same outcome. “Borrowing’ the toolbox, the reams of paper, the printer and even the portable EKG are all the same thing. Whether the person “borrowing” is our boss, our best friend, a company vendor or contractor, it is all the same.

We had better define our terminology before going any further; the word borrow means: To obtain or receive (something) on loan with the promise or understanding of returning it or its equivalent.

Does anyone reading this truly believe that the head nurse of an emergency department would say to the administrator: “By all means, you have my permission to borrow the EKG, it’s only a spare?” Would the Vice President of Marketing say to their staff, “It’s OK for you to take home your printers on the weekends?” In both cases it seems implausible that permission would be granted even if promises were expressed in writing. But even the lowly toolbox has no business being borrowed.

It is not a question, necessarily, of the tools being promptly returned each morning; it is not even a matter of the person who borrowed the toolbox replacing a broken tool with something better.

The toolbox is not his to borrow. It belongs to the company. It should be reported as missing. If the person borrowing the toolbox is your boss, he should still be reported; as should the person borrowing a piece of office or medical equipment.

Here’s the tricky part: there must be an iron-clad policy well in place, and it must be well established. The policy must be widely disseminated. It is for the protection of the company of course, but also for the protection of the employee who witnesses the violation of policy and even to remind the person “borrowing” what to expect if caught. The reporting of an incident must be able to “go up the ladder” as easily as down. For example, a hospital janitor witnessing the head of thoracic surgery “borrowing” a piece of equipment should be able to report the violation without fear. The head of thoracic surgery should expect to receive punishment and it must be enforced.

If no written policy exists, then there is nothing to protect the worker who is reporting a violation. If no written policy exists there is no differentiation between borrowing and stealing. More than that, there is no consistency.

The best defense to prevent ethical lapses is a strict, iron-clad policy that is enforced and re-enforced. It is one policy applicable to everyone and the punishment must be evenly applied. The best defense is to create not an atmosphere of “snitching” but an atmosphere of personal accountability.

Anything else, is just borrowing.

What is your opinion?

About our Guest

You may have seen Chuck on television, or heard him on CNN, CBS or NPR radio programs. His business insights are sought after for his strong position on ethics and ethical leadership. Chuck’s focus is business—but his passion is empowering others. His unique presentations on Business Ethics clearly demonstrate he brings something to the platform that isn’t often found in typical business speakers. Chuck’s personal experience in building businesses and sales teams while leading companies provides a practical and powerful framework for ethical success.

Currently COO of a national company and former Sr. VP of Sales and Marketing for a public company, Chuck may have found a sales niche early on in life selling potholders door to door, or convincing folks to fund a record album of his musical performance at age 16 (and yes those were the days when an album was made of vinyl), but it was the school of hard knocks that provided a fertile training ground for Chuck’s lessons in success. Described as creative, insightful, captivating, and a person that “connects the dots” between behavior, choices and success,Chuck gives his clients what they need to turn concepts into actions and actions into results.

With Chuck you have an industry professional sharing practical tested and time proven methods that can enhance personal and professional performance. What Chuck shares in his presentations, whether training, keynotes or consulting, are understandings of not only “how to”, but also “whatmotivates behavior”—behavior of individuals that can create personal and professional success.

On a nationwide basis, Chuck has helped countless individuals on their journey to success! So here’s the question: Do you want your personal performance or your company’s performance to improve? If so, Chuck offers a “real world” practical approach to improving your understanding of how to achieve ethical choices! Now is the time to book Chuck and take the steps needed to improve yourself and grow your business, thereby achieving your success!

And yes, Chuck’s programs are GREAT FUN! He’ll have your audience asking for more and knowing that what is discussed today will yield results tomorrow!

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It’s time to enter the real world for many grads out there. Tim Hoch, a trial attorney, offers life lessons and shares some of pearls of wisdom from his book, “50 Rules for Success for Young Men Leaving Home”. Originally what started as a letter to his son, Tim shares lessons from his personal experience. Join us for a playful, yet serious topic of how to play firm, but friendly in the real world where power and grace need to go hand and hand.

Show Highlights * Segment 1: Graduation- Advice for Winning an Argument. Who knows more about winning an argument than a trial lawyer? There will always be folks in life that want to fight and win an intellectual battle. That person may be your wife, your co-worker, or worst enemy. The goal is to be right. Sometimes in this desire to “win”, we lose. We lose sight of some simple things we can do to shift the debate to a new place. Get some simple advice for yourself or to pass onto your new graduate. * Segment 2: Graduation: Playing Nice on the Playground of Life There is an proverb, ” Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it”. Try as you might, there are still pigs in this world. What do you do when you encounter someone who likes to fight and fight dirty? How does being “wrong” some times help you win in life?

Blog Post for our Upcoming Guest When my son was thirteen he was invited on a beach vacation with his best friend’s family. His friend’s mom (we will call her Doris) took my son and hers to the mall to shop for beachwear. They were in the market for a pair of flip-flops. Doris walked into Pac Sun, the boys close behind. “Can you help me?” Doris tapped one of the teenage sales clerks on the shoulder. “Yeah, what do you need?” he grunted. “I’m looking for boys’ thongs” she declared. Doris’ son tried to slip away unnoticed while my son and the clerk did a poor job stifling their laughter. After a few seconds of mortified silence, Doris persisted: “My gosh, you act as though you’ve never even heard of thongs for little boys.” Just before they left for the trip, Doris came by and spoke of the difficulties of raising a young man. “He hardly even speaks to me. It’s like he’s embarrassed to be associated with me.” I just smiled. What I wanted to say is: “You’re doing it wrong.” Lord knows, I’m no expert. I’ve had more than my share of cringe worthy attempts at navigating the teenage discourse dynamic. But I have been able to decipher some hard and fast rules when trying to converse with kids. Here are a few: Rule number one: Don’t use outdated cultural references or phrases. Noone “talks to the hand.” Nothing you want to discuss is “bitchin’” or “gnarly” or “rad.” Fo-shizzle. Rule number two: Don’t join their conversations unless you’re invited. I was driving my daughter and three of her friends to an eighth grade dance. They were giggling and whispering about some of the boys in their class when I decided to chime in. Bad idea. They don’t want my opinion about whether a certain classmate is a “sweet kid.” Rule number three: Don’t interrupt or argue. That is not a conversation. It’s a lecture. Rule number four: No nicknames. Even if your son’s friend is named Tony, don’t refer to him as “T-bone.” Your daughter’s friend is “Elizabeth” not “Lizard.” Rule number five: Try to have a functional understanding of (and ability to pronounce) things that are important to them. For example, don’t keep referring to twitter as “tweeter” or Instagram as “Instant grams.” Rule number six: Conversations are not teaching moments. So don’t make them one. Don’t criticize them or tell them how you would have handled a situation differently. If your child says something that bothers you, hold that thought. You will have time to circle back to it later. Rule number 7: Don’t dismiss their thoughts as “silly” or “stupid.” My daughter once told me about a difficult day at school. She was in a fight with one of her best friends. It was a silly argument and I told her so. Big mistake. She would come to the same conclusion on her own a few days later. I didn’t need to speed it up for her. I just needed to listen. Rule number 8: Don’t rely on your kids to fulfill your need for conversation. Develop your own interests, your own “cool” independent of your kids. Show them that you have a life outside of whatever they are doing. They will engage you on it. Trust me. Rule number 9: Do not use any of the following phrases in conversation: “When I was your age…” or “If I were you…” or “pull my finger.” Just stop. Rule number 10: Don’t gossip. There is nothing more pathetic than an adult who gossips with kids. And adults who gossip with kids about other kids? They should be marched straight through the gates of hell….in boy’s thongs.

About Our Guest TRIAL LAWYER. STRATEGIST. CONSULTANT. Tim Hoch is a trial lawyer with over 20 years of experience. He is Board Certified in Personal Injury Trial Law by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization. This is a distinction shared by less than 1% of the lawyers in Texas. He has litigated over two thousand cases and tried many cases to verdict. He has taken and defended hundreds of depositions. He is a zealous and tireless advocate for his clients. Tim was born and raised in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. He is a 1985 graduate of Texas Christian University. He obtained his law degree from the University of Oklahoma College of Law. He has practiced law in Fort Worth, Texas since that time. He is licensed in both Texas and Oklahoma. Tim has achieved the following successes for his clients: – Achieved control of a $126 million property for his client in a dispute between lenders; – Negotiated a settlement for over 1300 clients in a pharmaceutical case for an aggregate amount of over $400 million; – Negotiated a settlement for hundreds of clients in medical device litigation; – Negotiated a multi-million dollar settlement on behalf of families of babies who were administered a lethal drug in a neo-natal intensive care unit of a major hospital; – Tried and negotiated verdicts in excess of a million dollars for victims of business fraud, railroad injuries, medical malpractice and negligence actions. Tim is active in his community. He serves as Vice Chair for Catholic Charities-Fort Worth where he has served on the Board for over 4 years. He is a past member of the Chancellor’s Advisory Council at TCU. He is on the Board of Directors for Frog Club at TCU and is past Program Chair. He is a volunteer at The Assessment Center, a shelter for abused children. He is also a volunteer at Child Advocates of Tarrant County, an organization which assists victims of child abuse through the court system. He is on the Finance Committee for Trinity Valley School. Tim is a small business owner. In addition to his legal practice, Tim is the owner of Property Tax Fix, LLC, a property tax lender where he has built a multi million dollar loan portfolio in two years. He also owns a real estate brokerage firm. Tim takes special interest in lecturing on the art of persuasion. He has given numerous presentations for lawyers and other groups on trial and negotiation techniques. He is a dynamic, passionate and creative speaker.

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Is it fair or right that we shift the burden of taking care of the earth to our children? How does one spirituality or religion come into answering this question? What are our moral obligations to the plants and animals on this planet? Join us when we talk to Dr. John Grim, the co-founder of the Yale Forum of Religion and Ecology, and one of the leading scholars on this topic. We’ll take a scholarly look at Christianity, Buddhism, and Hinduism and resurrect some of the traditions and values related to our role as stewards of the earth and our connection to the earth.

Show Highlights * Segment 1: Sustainability: A Spiritual Perspective. While John Grim’s work is academically rigorous, it unexpectedly generated a transcendent moment for me after reading dozens of articles published on his forum. The absolute truth and beauty of the world is before us, but some times we miss it. Professor Grim offers his thoughts on “what” humans are missing in the stories we tell ourselves about our place on earth * Segment 2: Earth Consciousness: Religious Traditions and Values. So, there is a Christian, Muslim, and Jewish person in a bar and a professor walks in. So, the professor turns to the Rabbi and says “What do you religious texts say about the earth?” And the Buddhist patron turns to them all and says “We are everything and we are nothing”. What do the worldwide religions say about what our relationship should be to the earth? Are we the center of earth (everything) or are we just one species that has run amok (nothing)? How do Eastern and Western religions differ?

YouTube Video from our Guest About our Guest John Grim is currently a Senior Lecturer and Senior Research Scholar at Yale University teaching courses that draw students from the School of Forestry & Environmental Studies, Yale Divinity School, the Department of Religious Studies, the Institution for Social and Policy Studies, and the Yale Colleges. He is Coordinator of the Forum on Religion and Ecology with Mary Evelyn Tucker, and series editor of “World Religions and Ecology,” from Harvard Divinity School’s Center for the Study of World Religions. In that series he edited Indigenous Traditions and Ecology: the Interbeing of Cosmology and Community (Harvard, 2001). He has been a Professor of Religion at Bucknell University, and at Sarah Lawrence College where he taught courses in Native American and Indigenous religions, World Religions, and Religion and Ecology. His published works include: The Shaman: Patterns of Religious Healing Among the Ojibway Indians (University of Oklahoma Press, 1983) and edited a volume with Mary Evelyn Tucker entitled Worldviews and Ecology (Orbis, 1994, 5th printing 2000), and a Daedalus volume (2001) entitled, “Religion and Ecology: Can the Climate Change?” John is also President of the American Teilhard Association.

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Is this all there is to life? Why am I here? What is my purpose in life? I have all the reasons to be happy, but why am I still unhappy? If I don’t believe that God is a white bearded man, then what do I believe? If you are asking these questions, then you are likely on or beginning a spiritual path to finding the answers. But, what is the next step? Should you follow a different religion- perhaps Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism or choose them all and travel a path of Mysticism? Join Ragini Michaels and I as we offer some tips on exploring and finding your answers.

Show Summary * Segment 1: Building a spiritual practice – As a seeker, Ragini has gone down almost every path possible. Like a tour guide, she shares with us a succinct summary of her experience of the key attractions on her journey . * Segment 2: Meditation – Many of the Eastern paths involve meditation. More people are checking out meditation, but perhaps not with the original intention of meditation. What is the purpose of meditation? Is meditation any different or better than praying, or contemplating? How do we know if we are meditations the right way? Ragini sheds light on meditation based on her 35 years of experience. * Segment 3: To Guru or Not to Guru – How do you know if you are following a guru or cult leader? What do you want to look for in a guru? What can a guru do that you can’t do on your own? * Segment 4: Choosing the best path for you- How do you know when you have found the right spiritual path for you?

Blog Post from our Guest Awake vs Asleep: The Duality of Our Spiritual Journey In the world of consciousness growth and spiritual evolution, being “awake” is a highly valued and desired state of being.

Whether you define “awake” as being conscious, alert, aware, present, mindful, or just cognizant of what’s going on, this prized state brings you closer to happiness and inner peace. Thus, striving to wake up from your conditioning becomes the goal.

Unfortunately, you may also set up amazingly high standards for how long you must stay awake in order to really “awaken.” Then, you will unconsciously use that degree of “awakeness” to assess your spiritual development and growth. When you do fall asleep, which I can guarantee will happen, a huge wave of judgment will then arise.

Self-judgment, criticism, discontent, and deep disappointment in your ability to keep your vows can stream into the body/mind. You face head-on your undeveloped capacity to produce a continuity of mindfulness and a non-stop flow of Presence to what is unfolding.

Falling asleep is one of the great hindrances on the spiritual journey to Presence and a life of mindful living. Whether “falling asleep” appears as snoozing, napping, slumbering, checking out, numbing out, being dead to the world, tranced out, losing awareness, being absent, in denial, avoidance, or just plain lost in thought, it is usually considered a state to steer clear of and sidestep as quickly as possible.

Unfortunately, it is not so easy to circumvent being asleep to the moment. So an inner struggle for your attention begins – stay awake and alert? Or relax and fall asleep? The tug to move in both directions can be very strong and very often simultaneous.

What to Do? To effectively manage this dilemma requires insight into the paradoxical nature of the partnership between wakefulness and sleepiness in our dualistic world.

Just as your breath consists of an inhalation and exhalation to complete itself and sustain the oxygen and carbon dioxide balance in your brain, your mind/body requires both alertness and rest.

A respite from attentiveness is required so the mind/body can re-balance and renew itself in order to keep going. You also require relief from relaxation. Without the arising of tension, no movement can occur and the balance between the two poles will again be lost.

Your life journey pulses with the rhythm of a dance of duality. It becomes easier, more workable, and more peaceful when you understand the hidden partnerships between seemingly opposing poles; when you can allow them to be what they are.

Being awake and being asleep are not against each other. It is the tension between the two that provides the territory of your journey.

I invite you to inquire into your own experience of being awake and asleep to “what is.” Explore for yourself how you are currently relating to the two.

Here’s the surprise: When you can be present to the Oneness of things hidden in the organic unity of the two poles, wakefulness is happening; and access to the “peace that passes all understanding” suddenly emerges.

Give it a try. It can, paradoxically, be quite enlightening!

Much love,

Ragini

About our Guest

Ragini is the founder of Facticity® Trainings, Inc., a training and consulting company established in 1988 offering certification trainings in Paradox Management, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Ericksonian Hypnosis.

Her original work on the Psychology of Paradox has received critical acclaim and taken her throughout America, Canada, Europe, and India presenting workshops and seminars. She is the creator of eight hypnosis/meditation CD’s, and the author of two books on paradox with her third,Unflappable – 6-Steps To Staying Happy, Centered, and Peaceful No Matter What, available May 2012 (Conari Press).

Ragini is a true expert on human communication styles and practical spirituality.

Her approach relies on the practical application of her behavioral change skills and personal wisdom from 35 years of exploring meditation and stress release as it relates to living in a paradoxical world. These elements create a unique perspective and style that supports people’s desire to blend the wisdom of their spiritual lives into the fabric of their material lives to produce results, a sense of purpose, and more joy and inspiration from daily living.

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Like young toddlers, we want everything NOW without every questioning whether immediate results are better than patiently waiting for something better. It’s hard living in a society that rewards quick decision making and action. As a result, standing still feels like death. Hitting a life obstacle feels beyond frustrating. We are a generation that wants everything NOW, never really focusing on the NOW, the present moment. Join Ragini Michaels and CJ as they offer tips to help you ground yourself in the NOW during life’s most trying times.

Show Summary

Segment 1: Standing Still– All around us we are surrounded by reminders of the natural cycles of life. Yet, humans believe they defy these cycles. What is a different way to think about standing still or when nothing in life seems to be happening?
Segment 2: Making Decisions – Not making a decision is in fact a choice. You are choosing to stand still. What are the consequences of inaction? What is a spiritual perspective on making decisions? There are so many quotes about saying “YES” to the universe. What does it mean in practical terms?
Segment 3: Patience – Everyone tells us patience is a virtue. Why is it a virtue? What is the benefit of being patient? What are some big picture questions you can ask yourself when you are feeling impatient?
Segment 4: Hitting a Road Block– What is a mystic’s perspective on road blocks? What are some questions you can ask yourself to remove self-imposed road blocks and get to the real spiritual purpose of road blocks.

Blog Post from our Guest How To Keep Your Personal Power Up & Running* One day, Tricia walked into my office, frustrated and full of complaints. She felt weak, inept, and out of the extra juice she needed to enjoy her life. She was overwhelmed by the vague sense she was frittering her life energy away with duties, responsibilities, and fulfilling her goals of getting ahead and saving for her retirement.

Tricia confided, “I’m just hanging in there, every day, doing what needs to be done from a never-ending ‘to-do’ list. This isn’t the good life I was hoping for. It’s more like a prison. I obviously can’t stop and I can’t keep going.”

Tricia loved the outcomes of her hard work. She had some retirement saved, lived in a nice home, liked large parts of her work as a Manager at Microsoft, meditated every day and worked out 3 times a week. But … she was tired because she had no time to slow down and smell the roses.

Tricia believed she should be strong and energized all the time, and never bow to fear, frustration, or simple exhaustion. So she always kept going and felt proud of her ability to stay on course.

But she was tired and not feeling particularly at peace, centered, or happy. It became clear she thought personal power came from strength, courage, and huge stores of energy with a continual focus on the goal – no wavering allowed.

It can be quite a challenge to balance your inner quest for personal growth and transformation with your outer responsibilities to health, finances, work, family, and friends. Do you ever feel like you’ve also lost the strength to keep going? Like you’re caught in the trap of believing what you feel is the actual truth about who you are? Feel discouraged or depressed because you can’t seem to find the courage and focus to stay with the tasks at hand?

I’ve worked with hundreds of folks caught in this very dilemma: ‘Do I strive to keep up with the demands of my life or do I put them aside, rest for awhile, and enjoy my life?’ Neither choice ever makes the problem dissolve and go away for good. Obviously, creating and sustaining life balance isn’t quite as simple as it might seem.

I suggested to Tricia that perhaps she was forgetting one basic fact of human life: Everything changes. She nodded her head and said, “Yes, of course! I know all about that! But I want the change to go the way I want it to go so I can reach my goals and finally relax.”

As we talked, I pointed out to Tricia that for strength to remain available to her, it had to have time to renew itself. And the presence of feeling weak and exhausted was in fact the signal that this renewal was in progress. All she had to do was support this natural process instead of rejecting it.

Strength re-energizes itself, paradoxically, through what we call the experiences of weakness and tiredness.

When she learned to relax with these experiences, she would have more personal power than she had ever contemplated possible. Why? Because personal power needs both strength and weakness to sustain itself and grow.

Tricia looked stunned as she saw how she was clinging to strength, clarity, and focus as if they were the answer to her personal growth and spiritual awakening. Without them, she believed she was a weakling and off course.

As I taught her to actually manage – in daily life – the reality that personal power, of necessity, requires both sets of experiences – positive and negative – pleasant and unpleasant – she reported becoming more focused, steadier with her daily challenges, and definitely happier.

Tricia woke up to the fact that her negative feelings did not need to influence her sense of personal power and identity. Learning how to manage this dilemma allowed her to correct her misunderstanding, one that runs fairly wild throughout the world of personal growth and spiritual awakening.

Tricia came to perceive both strength and weakness, as well as clarity and confusion, as essential ingredients comprising the personal power she longed to create and sustain throughout each day.

**TIPS TO HELP YOU EXPLORE

YOUR INNER TUG-OF-WAR BETWEEN STRENGTH & WEAKNESS**

When you’re actually feeling weak, frustrated confused, or scattered IN YOUR BODY, take a step back from what you’re feeling so you can observe it with a bit of distance.
Imagine you can place the feelings of weaknesses to the left or right side of your body and the desired strengths on the other side.
Notice IN YOUR BODY which set of experiences your body is either straining to move toward (clinging to) or pulling to move away from (avoiding). You can get your answer most easily and truthfully by staying focused on your body and staying out of your mind (thinking).
This answer tells you where YOU are positioned in regard to this inevitable and unavoidable flow between these opposite energies IN THE MOMENT.
Now think about letting go of the side you’re pulled toward and moving into the side you’re trying to avoid. You are now in the presence of your own personal inner tug-of-war.

Helping you learn how to navigate this personal inner conflict is my goal. To learn what Tricia learned, you can check out my book, Unflappable – 6-Steps To Staying Happy, Centered, and Peaceful No Matter What. I will lead you through the same 6 steps that helped Tricia to change her ‘problem’ into a natural and unavoidable life predicament she could more consciously and lovingly navigate.

Grab this opportunity to learn this essential mystical guidance for embodying and living your spiritual values in daily life!

Much love,

Ragini

About our Guest Ragini is the founder of Facticity® Trainings, Inc., a training and consulting company established in 1988 offering certification trainings in Paradox Management, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Ericksonian Hypnosis.

Her original work on the Psychology of Paradox has received critical acclaim and taken her throughout America, Canada, Europe, and India presenting workshops and seminars. She is the creator of eight hypnosis/meditation CD’s, and the author of two books on paradox with her third,Unflappable – 6-Steps To Staying Happy, Centered, and Peaceful No Matter What, available May 2012 (Conari Press).

Ragini is a true expert on human communication styles and practical spirituality.

Her approach relies on the practical application of her behavioral change skills and personal wisdom from 35 years of exploring meditation and stress release as it relates to living in a paradoxical world. These elements create a unique perspective and style that supports people’s desire to blend the wisdom of their spiritual lives into the fabric of their material lives to produce results, a sense of purpose, and more joy and inspiration from daily living.

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Are you a control freak? Many believe that controlling things will maximize our returns on an investment and is the only requirement for our path to success. Have you ever examined how being a control freak results in your suffering? Learn about the spiritual roots of control. Ragini Michaels, a spiritual coach, will offer her tips on how to let go of control, how to deal with a control freak, and your own feelings of being out of control.

Show Summary * Segment 1: A Spiritual Perspective about Control – The Western culture was built on planning, and setting controls to ensure best outcomes as the only way of getting things done effeciently and effectively. We’ll talk about the spiritual perspective on control. What are the downsides of this approach toward life? * Segment 2: Letting Go of Control – What is realistically in our control and what is not? How do our desires to manifest and control our outcomes in life work with divine will? * Segment 3: Dealing with a Control Freak – What do you do with that control freak at work? What are your options when you have a boss that micromanages? * Segment 4: Feeling out of Control– What do you do when you are feeling out of control?

Blog Post from our Guest Caught Success by the Tail Yet?* If you’re interested in succeeding, you’ve probably checked out all the hoop-la around the Law of Attraction and how to manifest your dreams. I’ll assume you’ve now heard (at least 100 times or more) the steps for ‘making things happen.’

But something must be amiss because I keep getting clients in my office feeling very bad about failing to reach their desired goals, even though they’ve been following all the manifestation guidelines.

A case in point is Harold. Harold loves gardening. And for 2 years he’s been struggling to get his own business off the ground. He was tired of working for someone else and wanted the freedom to exercise his own creativity and vision without being restrained by someone else’s ideas.

The problem is that Harold perceives himself as failing. As soon as he gets hit with some marketing or sales issue unrelated to the actual art of gardening and design, he gets knocked off balance.

He falls into an overwhelming pit of despair and starts to believe that he is inept and incapable of ever pulling the whole thing off.

I asked Harold what he did when he got in this situation. He replied, ‘I can’t do much of anything. I just feel like I should give up my dream and give in to reality as it is. So I usually end up feeling sad, unhappy, and pretty down on myself for being such a failure.’

It seems Harold, like most of my other clients, wasn’t aware that his ‘failures’ were showing him something wonderful he needed to discover about himself and his hidden capabilities. It could be something about running a business, marketing, sales, or publicity; or something more intimate like a limiting belief or attitude, like skepticism, cynicism, or doubt; or attempting to highlight a really negative and inaccurate image of his potential.

Unless you realize success at manifesting your dreams INCLUDES experiencing many failures, you will give up. Manifestation works best when you learn how to embrace those failures as gifts and gather the learnings that will teach you more than you currently know about what you’re actually capable of creating.

Success and failure create the two-sided coin of Achievement. Success isn’t sustainable without failure. In fact, it’s the presence of failure that keeps your experience of success expanding, each time more fresh, alive and vibrant.

Failure helps you find and manifest possibilities resting deep inside you. Perceiving failure as a statement about your value and worth shrinks your vision of success and possibility.

And, as with Harold, it can evoke the most deadly kind of paralysis– giving up. Fearing failure makes you want to hold on to what you have, even if you’re unhappy with it. It makes you tremble at risk’s request to take a daring journey to beyond what is currently ‘your life.’

Tips For Managing Your Desire To Succeed & Not Fail

Expand your definition of success to include more than wealth, recognition, and status, such as embracing your failures and receiving their gifts.
Unhook failure from the notion that it equals a negative statement of truth about your value and worth as a human being.
Imagine ‘as if’ the failure were a message from your highest inner self to attend to some detail or misunderstanding that you’ve overlooked.
Inquire – on your own or with the support of a coach or friend – by imagining the failure could talk to you and help you direct your attention toward the gift or learning it’s come to give you.
Do Not Allow Any Negative Talk From The Failure Or Toward The Failure. This will block the emergence of the gift into your awareness.
Stay with the failure long enough to receive the gift. Don’t just send it away without looking for the teaching it wants to share with you.
Failure is all about helping you perceive your personal power and how to better use it to make your dreams come true.

I taught Harold how to navigate his perceived failures so he wouldn’t fall into despair and disappear; and how to approach his experience of success as a high point in the journey, but never the final destination.

You can learn what Harold discovered, and then made into his own wisdom, in my new book,Unflappable – 6-Steps To Staying Happy, Centered, & Peaceful No Matter What. Or, stay tuned in for my upcoming Webinar where I’ll be talking about my new on-line training – The Mystic’s Wisdom De-Coded – where you can also learn these powerful 6 steps.

Learn to play the manifestation game with a fresh eye toward both success and failure. You’ll stay happier & more confident as you ride the emotional roller coaster that makes your dreams come true.

Much Love,

Ragini

About our Guest Ragini is the founder of Facticity® Trainings, Inc., a training and consulting company established in 1988 offering certification trainings in Paradox Management, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Ericksonian Hypnosis.

Her original work on the Psychology of Paradox has received critical acclaim and taken her throughout America, Canada, Europe, and India presenting workshops and seminars. She is the creator of eight hypnosis/meditation CD’s, and the author of two books on paradox with her third,Unflappable – 6-Steps To Staying Happy, Centered, and Peaceful No Matter What, available May 2012 (Conari Press).

Ragini is a true expert on human communication styles and practical spirituality.

Her approach relies on the practical application of her behavioral change skills and personal wisdom from 35 years of exploring meditation and stress release as it relates to living in a paradoxical world. These elements create a unique perspective and style that supports people’s desire to blend the wisdom of their spiritual lives into the fabric of their material lives to produce results, a sense of purpose, and more joy and inspiration from daily living.

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Every day we are forced to produced at inhumane rates. How do we overcome procrastination? How do we keep on task when our day is full of distractions and an array of pointless meetings? Maybe, the whole problem is how we are looking at the issue. Maybe, you have tried all the traditional approaches with lists and such. We’ll offer some easy-to-try tips on how to get motivated and focused during your most stressful times using meditation. Be prepared to shift how you look at productivity.

Show Summary * Segment 1: A new perspective on productivity – Learn how to balance your outer chaos with a sense of inner peace. * Segment 2: Tips to Combat Procrastination- Taking responsibility for your projects and gaining the energy to plow through action items even when you feel stalled. * Segment 3: Distractions – What would it look like if you leaned into your distractions and accepted them? How can meditation help your distracted mind? Why do distractions leave you feeling confused and lost? * Segment 4: Not Getting Anything Done- It’s one of THOSE days when despite all effort, and intention none of your action items off your list got done. Do you beat yourself up about it and get filled with guilt/shame? What is a more helpful way of dealing with times when you don’t get anything done.

Blog Post from our Guest Want Some Order In Your Daily Chaos? Here’s How To Get It! Everyday, you expend energy cleaning up, tidying up, sorting out, arranging, putting away, and a variety of other names for ordering the chaos of living.

Straightening up the kitchen, hanging up your clothes, putting away the groceries, picking up the living room, scheduling your days and weeks in appointment books or calendars, sequencing your goals and strategies, organizing your paperwork and bills, looking in the TV Guide to determine how to arrange your evening, sorting out what you have and what you need for the next week’s meals, and on and on . . .

In today’s world, there is so much to put into place, you’ve probably acclimated to the idea that feeling overwhelmed has to be a daily visitor knocking on your door.

This leads to a sense of impending chaos, a tightening of control, and often fear of losing your way. The result? Losing sight of your purpose for doing it all in the first place.

In this state of frustration, exhaustion, and fear, you find yourself scrambling even more to get your life in order — once and for all.

At often breakneck speed, you find yourself racing from one task to another, hurrying to out run the ever encroaching chaos. You believe this will keep your life from falling into a complete uproar of bedlam, pandemonium, and madness.

This, of course, causes immense stress, decreases the effectiveness of the immune system, extends a less than polite but continual invitation for exhaustion and illness, and usually closes the door for good communication, clear thinking, and compassion for yourself and others.

To sum it all up: you may actually feel like a hamster running round and round on that ever turning wheel having forgotten why you’re doing it and what your life is actually all about. Seeking to create orderliness means you are also wanting to find a sense of peace, harmony, and security. Yet the result of “ever faster” and “more” and “better” is actually confusion, turmoil, and insecurity.

When you’re lacking clarity and feeling wobbly about what you’re doing in your life, where you’re going with it, and who you think you are, stop a moment and realize you are in the grips of yet another Unresolvable Dilemma.

Emerging Marketplace Mystics know that Unresolvable Dilemmas call for a different approach and an altogether different strategy.

Managing This Unresolvable Dilemma An Unresolvable Dilemma is defined by the presence of an interdependent polar pair of opposites. Because order and chaos actually define one another, they cannot be separated and thus are interdependent. The easiest way to manage this Unresolvable Dilemma is to understand the dynamic unfolding between the two options.

Chaos is pulled into being by one life force that moves to destabilize any steady state.

Order is pulled into being by the opposite life force that moves to stabilize any changing state.

When these two forces are free to engage in the continual process of re-balancing, creativity arises out of the rhythmic movement between the two. Creativity can be described as a gap in a habitual way of thinking or perceptual patterning.

In order for creativity to arise, any stable state will have to be disrupted to allow a new pattern to arise. And, the disrupted state will have to be stabilized for the new pattern to arise and be perceived. This means disruption and stability are two sides of the same coin.

A creative act unleashes the joy of human expression. Whether we call this learning, discovering, growing, or awakening, it is dependent on the deep partnership between chaos and order.

The appropriate strategy here is to relax in the presence of both chaos and order. Too much chaos results in anarchy and pandemonium. Too much order results in rigidity and fixation. Just the right amount of balance between the two allows creativity to arise. In this gap of possibility, the new thought, insight, feeling, discovery, innovation or invention, becomes free to emerge.

Order is not pressure which is imposed on society from without, but an equilibrium which is set up from within.

—Jose Ortega y Gasset, Mirabeau and Politics, 1927

Life is a creative process unfolding. Understanding chaos and order from a paradoxical perspective allows you to be privy to the nature of creativity itself — and thus the freedom to become immersed in its arising and embraced by its joy.

If you’re not yet aware of my on-line training designed to give you this precise strategy, click here for details on The Mystic’s Wisdom De-Coded 12 week program.

Enjoy discovering how this dance frees the magic of your own creativity to unfold.

Much love,

Ragini

About Our Guest Ragini is the founder of Facticity® Trainings, Inc., a training and consulting company established in 1988 offering certification trainings in Paradox Management, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Ericksonian Hypnosis.

Her original work on the Psychology of Paradox has received critical acclaim and taken her throughout America, Canada, Europe, and India presenting workshops and seminars. She is the creator of eight hypnosis/meditation CD’s, and the author of two books on paradox with her third,Unflappable – 6-Steps To Staying Happy, Centered, and Peaceful No Matter What, available May 2012 (Conari Press).

Ragini is a true expert on human communication styles and practical spirituality.

Her approach relies on the practical application of her behavioral change skills and personal wisdom from 35 years of exploring meditation and stress release as it relates to living in a paradoxical world. These elements create a unique perspective and style that supports people’s desire to blend the wisdom of their spiritual lives into the fabric of their material lives to produce results, a sense of purpose, and more joy and inspiration from daily living.

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Join CJ as she has a rare opportunity to hear the life and story of the founder of Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP). Find out how it all began and discover how you could use simple NLP techniques to live a fuller live by removing your phobias, and unhelpful beliefs on everything from work, relationships, and more.

Video from our Guest Show Highlights * Link to Segment 1: Learn how the brain is like a big archival computer and how Richard figured out how to program the brain. Richard explains how he took what others incorrectly described as “intuition” and figured out the algorithms needed to create effective quick behavioral change. * Link to Segment 2: Think about how much time we inefficiently spend on mind management. Mostly we run and rerun the same discursive ideas in our head. Richard explains how to rewind and erase a bad memory. * Link to Segment 3: Do we admit defeat to quickly and give up on those who need our help. Richard describes how he questions everything and how his curiosity and search for the extraordinary has created break through results. * Link to Segment 4: Richard discusses the history of NLP and the fundamental differences between NLP and psychotherapy.

About our Guest Richard Bandler is a contemporary psychologist and self-help author who works primarily in the field of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP).

Bandler was an associate of both Robert Spitzer and Milton Erickson. He is an expert in the field of self-help and is the co-founder of Neuro-Linguistic Programming with John Grinder. He was first introduced to John Grinder while a student at the University of California. Grinder, one of Bandler’s professors, collaborated with Bandler in the exploration of linguistics. This alliance led to the first of many books the two would publish, The Structure of Magic, Volume 1.

Bandler has published numerous books and articles. Bandler studied bodywork and examined the Feldenkrais Method in his book, The Elusive Obvious. He travels the world giving lectures on NLP and his other theories. He continues to train clinicians and individuals in the practice of NLP and other self-help techniques.

Contribution to Psychology

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a therapeutic, self-help technique that focuses on behavior and language. By enlightening people to healthy patterns of communication, therapists teaching NLP can show clients how to transform their behaviors in order to achieve a desired outcome. Although there is little scientific evidence supporting NLP’s effectiveness, therapists who practice NLP believe it is beneficial for relieving psychological symptoms related to several problems, including depression, cognitive impairments, anxiety, and phobias.

NLP strives to model highly effective behaviors and replicate them in clients, thus providing a form of autonomous self-help. NLP has been accepted as a viable method of change within business, alternative medicine, community settings, and within the self-help field in general, though it has not been scientifically validated with empirical studies. Regardless of the academic and professional support it lacks, NLP continues to be a widely used technique throughout the mental health field.

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We talk to Stan Cox, author of “Losing Out Cool” who was named in The Atlantic magazine 2012 Reader’s Choice for being a Brave Thinker. A person who has risked his reputation, fortunes, and lives in pursuit of big ideas. Today, he discusses his next big idea-rationing. The world economy and our attachment to consumption has saddled the Earth with an impossible burden of greenhouse emissions, water degradation, and ecosystem destruction. Our attitude of spend now and hope for the best later has already harmed us with the recent financial crises. Should we wait and see what happens with our ecosystems? We’ll take a look at what our children will experience in their lifetimes, a world with limits placed on our consumption of water, emissions, and healthcare.

Show Highlights * Link to Segment 1: Why is rationing like a 4 letter word? Stan Cox talks about when we will hit the limits in healthcare, water, and food. If we don’t put in place rationing, will market economics result in a fair outcome? Stan talks about water rationing. * Link to Segment 2: Greenhouse Emissions – What are the most discussed ideas on the table for rationing gas and greenhouse emissions? What are the upsides and downsides of indirect or direct rationing? * Link to Segment 3: Healthcare Rationing- We discuss the difficulties in rationing health care and how it’s essentially a judgment about who Gets to Live. Stan offers 3 different ways that rationing of healthcare could happen. * Link to Segment 4: Stan’s Summary: What makes Stan feel hopeful and helpless about rationing? What has been his personal effect of writing this book? * More shows by Stan: http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2013/08/13/8-15-beat-the-summer-heat/

Blog Post by our Guest by Stan Cox published in Al Jazeera

In the wake of Superstorm Sandy, parts of New York and New Jersey had a brief but intense encounter withgas rationing, an experience that not only brought up memories of the resource-strapped 1970s, but also offered Americans a brief glimpse of the future.

“What’s that?!” I can hear you saying. Rationing? Really? With the United States poised to surpass Saudi Arabia in crude oil extraction by 2020, according to the International Energy Agency? And with new pumping methods bringing a glut of natural gas? With talk of “energy independence” in the air?

Yes – rationing. In fact, if vast new reserves of fossil fuels really are becoming more and more accessible, it will become all the more necessary to impose a strict (and low) ceiling on consumption while ensuring fair access to resources.

A little math shows that if we have a decent chance holding the rise in the Earth’s average atmospheric temperature to less than two degrees Celsius – a margin beyond which lies catastrophe – we will have to leave two-thirds to four-fifths of the world’s current fossil-fuel reserves in the ground, at least beyond 2050.

But if we continue to allow prices alone to ration fuels, the bulk of that ancient carbon will, inevitably, find its way to the surface and into the atmosphere as rapidly as possible. And if we persist our all-out assault on “unconventional” fuels like tar-sand oil and shale gas, augmenting our headlong exploitation of conventional reserves, we’ll not only cook the Earth even faster, but also do irreparable damage to landscapes, water supplies and ecosystems, all with little chance of actually achieving a “golden age” of energy. Cheap fossil fuels are also undermining efforts to develop and adopt renewable energy.

| “A competing approach, developed in various forms by several UK-based groups, would ration carbon emissions through mechanisms such as ‘personal carbon allowances’.” |

Gas rationing

Delegates to the 18th United Nations climate change conference in Doha, Qatar, this week are hearing little or no discussion of either low ceilings or rationing. No nation wants to be the first to bite that bullet, but I believe that my country, the United States, should be the one to set the example by imposing strict limits on extraction and importation of fossil fuels. That in turn will create the need for a combination of price controls and equal-shares rationing – something resembling the measures we adopted in America and Europe during World War II.

(Another example from the past is the standby plan for gasoline rationing by the gallon – rather than by licence-plate number as was done after Sandy – that the US Congress passed in 1980. Had that plan gone into effect, and had we managed to hold per capita gas consumption steady for the next three decades, we could have saved 800 billion gallons – about six years of current output from US refiners.)

Rationing by quantity has been practised many times throughout history, but always in the face of scarcity. Now we face the problem of how to ration in the face of abundance. I know, I know. It’s a radical prospect – an idea that will draw condemnation from most economists and howls of “I told you so!” from America’s climate-denial industry.

Canadian commentator Daniel Greenfield, for example, charges that climate activists have no loyalty to anything but a “core austerity rationing manifesto”. Personally, I’ve never seen any such manifesto. And in promoting the idea of its existence, the far Right ignores the fact that sub rosa rationing of energy, food, water, health care and other goods on the basis of individual ability-to-pay is already the norm. The results of that approach are well known: Out-of-control consumption by the affluent, growing deprivation for the impoverished and crumbling of ecosystems worldwide.

Note that rationing of household consumption would not be an effective primary means of limiting a society’s overall ecological footprint; rather, it would become necessary when the use of resources “upstream”, in production, has been constrained. Should resource shortages strike on continental or global scales sometime in the future, or if societies come to their senses and begin treating resources, especially fossil fuels, as if they are scarce, then price controls will be required to prevent runaway inflation.

Price controls, in turn, will trigger the need for formal rationing by quantity, to ensure that everyone has access to a fair share of necessary goods. With access to fossil fuels strictly limited, there will be stronger incentives than ever to develop technologies for efficiency and renewable energy.

Think of it as a “cap and ration” system. The most widely discussed alternative to cap-and-ration, the “tax and dividend” approach proposed by NASA scientist and climate activist James Hansen, features a universal tax on carbon emissions, with universal reimbursement of revenues as an equal-shares dividend. Earlier this year, Australia actually adopted a carbon tax, accompanied by income-tax breaks and compensation aimed primarily at lower-income households.

But such consumption taxes ration resources by increasing prices. That makes them an indirect, often unreliable and always unpopular means of curbing consumption. Even with the equal-shares dividend, a carbon tax would be unfair to lower-income households. *Carbon trading*

A competing approach, developed in various forms by several UK-based groups, would ration carbon emissions through mechanisms such as “personal carbon allowances“. Under these systems, there would be a national carbon budget – a hard cap – that ratchets down year by year, with Britons receiving equal shares of that budget in the form of emissions permits to be used when paying home energy bills or buying vehicle fuel.

Meanwhile, French experts have proposed gasoline rationing by quantity and entire population of Norfolk Island in the Pacific will be taking a crack at voluntarycarbon quotas. But no full-blown carbon rationing policy has yet come close to being put into place.

A feature common to all personal or household emissions rationing plans currently on the table is tradability of ration credits. This is intended to reward good conservers by allowing them to sell unused credits while allowing others to consume and emit more than their share, but only by buying permits at a high price.

Tradability, however, would allow the rich to buy their way out of conservation, while tougher rules would apply to those with less money. Personal carbon trading could also end up linking household finances to volatile “upstream” carbon markets like the European Union Emissions Trading System, riddled as they are with speculation and dubious “offset” provisions that undermine the goal of curbing emissions.

The safer, stronger path would be to retain the hard cap and have equal-shares rations but make them non-tradable, as they were in wartime. The cap would need to be fairly generous at first but quickly tighten year by year, to allow society to adjust. An alternative to tradability (one considered as long ago as the 1940s) would allow families who can’t afford to use all of their ration credits to sell their spare ones back to the government. That would enhance the family’s income while keeping a tight lid on consumption society-wide and preventing the rise of black markets. The government could raise money for the buyback programme by raising taxes on the wealthy.

What we need in the long term is a transformation of the world economy, one that shifts power from the now-dominant “one per cent” to the 99 per cent who actually produce the world’s wealth. But meanwhile, the heat’s bearing down on us. We have to become a society that puts the brakes on consumption and does it in an egalitarian way.

That, of course, would be Big Business’ worst nightmare. But, as I have argued, such a society – one that is not just independent of foreign oil, but also doesn’t depend on reckless growth that enriches the few while overworking and underpaying the many – is the only kind of society that can endure and flourish for the long haul.

In fact, by embracing the right kind of rationing, we might even discover a happier, better-fed, healthier, more comfortable and more secure world than the one we inhabit today.

Stan Cox is the author of Any Way You Slice It: The Past, Present, and Future of Rationing, to be published in May by The New Press.

The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect Al Jazeera’s editorial policy.

About our Guest Stan Cox is a senior research scientist at The Land Institute in Salina, Kansas, where he works with a team of scientists on breeding perennial grain crops for future, ecologically resilient food-production systems. He has a PhD in plant genetics from Iowa State University and served as a research geneticist with the U.S. Department of Agriculture from 1983 to 1996. He lived in India from 1980 to 1982 and from 1996 to 2000; in the later period, he worked with the Institute for Rural Health Studies in Hyderabad on a study of cervical cancer in rural areas. He has published approximately 80 scientific papers and book chapters.

Cox’s columns have appeared in the Denver Post, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Chicago Sun-Times, the Baltimore Sun, the Hartford Courant, the Kansas City Star, the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, the San Jose Mercury-News, the Cleveland Plain Dealer, the Providence Journal, and scores of smaller papers in 27 states. He has been writing investigative environmental pieces for AlterNet since January 2005 and writes frequently for CounterPunch and CommonDreams.org. He is on the editorial board of the Green journal Synthesis/Regeneration.

He is the author of Sick Planet: Corporate Food and Medicine and contributed a chapter to Edible Estates: Attack on the Front Lawn.

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A new era can began when a critical number of people change their perceptions and behavior. Jean Shinoda Bolen and I will talk about the power of woman’s circles and how the sacred circle can bring strength and energy to feed activism and fuel change. If you can’t make the live show this Wed then you can get the MP3 published a few days after by subscribing to the show or following the Fire it UP with CJ page on Facebook

Show Highlights * Link to Segment 1 The Goddess in Everywomen: What is the inner Goddess that you most resonate with? Jean Shinoda Bolen discusses how knowing your Goddess archetype can help keep you on your life path and open up personal growth areas. * Link to Segment 2 Energizing the Women movement: Is the women’s movement dead? What are the successes we’ve had to-date? How could women circles energize the women’s movement?

Blog Post from our Guest

***Never doubt that small groups of committed women can change the world:

we did before, we can do it again! —* JeanShinoda Bolen

Creative Acts of Expression—Catalyzed in Circles by Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D. I know, as so many of us who are fortunate to be in one know, how supportive a sacred circle can be–as an incubator-womb space in which the courage to be authentically ourselves leads to creative acts of expression. This may include what is usually meant by expressive arts—writing, painting, sculpture, dance, theater, films—or political and personal activism, transforming relationships to others, or changing institutions. Inevitably, perhaps because experiences of the sacred are so deep and deeply personal, creative acts of expression are expressions of awakening that begin with trusting our own feelings and perceptions, of realizing it is up to us to be real and act on the premise that what matters to us, really matters. This is soul knowledge that becomes soul work when we take steps to bring what we know into our personal world and into the world. At times of crisis, what we do — or not, can tilt a situation in either direction.

In the silence of undirected inner reflection, prayer, or meditation, which is an element in this kind of a circle, we tap into a center in ourselves that is also at the center of the circle. In Jung’s psychology, this is the archetype of meaning, the Self. By meeting as a circle of women, we invite the sacred feminine to come into our midst. This form is archetypal. It connects us to suppressed sources of women’s spiritual power, much as an aquifer lies below the surface until it is tapped into, bubbles up and flows. We tap into an awareness that goes back in time to when divinity was worshipped in many forms, as female, as the Great Mother, Gaia. In the last third of the twentieth century, Merlin Stone’s When God was a Woman got archeological support from Marija Gimbutas and other archeologists who literally dug up evidence. Scrolls that had been hidden and preserved by the dryness in Egyptian caves near Nag Hammadi, were found in this same period. These became known as the Gnostic Gospels through Elaine Pagels. These early Christian writings were rich in metaphor and included Sophia, the Sacred Feminine. Gnostic churches were egalitarian rather than hierarchal in form, leadership was shared: who did what—the sermon, communion, greeting newcomers, could be chosen by lot. Everyone was welcome. Women served in all roles. Once the Church at Rome had the power to condemn heresy, the Gnostic Christians were persecuted, its gospels destroyed. Our only knowledge of them came from the church fathers, which systematically had destroyed all previous copies of these gospels. This time, it was different. Circumstances had changed. Through the influence of feminism and the women’s movement, there now were women scholars in all fields including theology.

In the United States before the women’s movement, women did not define themselves; men did–using religion as authority. “Women’s spirituality” emerged after women spoke for themselves and about themselves. Only then, did we speak of what we experienced as sacred and what we knew to be spiritual information. This is gnosis, intuitively felt soul knowledge, it is what we recognize in the marrow of our bones, what our heart recognizes as true for us—and from this insight, true for other humans and for the planet. Sacred circles support trust in our own perceptions of divinity which can be felt as transcendent spirit or felt in embodied holy moments. This is empowering, especially for women who have been told that God is male, demands obedience, and that women since Eve are the source of evil, when her choice was knowledge of the difference between good and evil. Re-imaging God as other than and more than a male authority, will shake the foundation of patriarchy, which is historically based upon theology and hierarchy to justify having and using power over others. Monotheism has brought us fratricidal wars of religion in Europe during the Middle Ages as well as the current conflicts in the Middle East. Jew, Muslim, Christian — all descend from Abraham, and thus are brothers. Women’s spirituality is in conflict with monotheistic, Abrahamic beliefs based on words attributed to what prophetic men in ages past said God said.

Five women friends sitting around a round table began the women’s suffrage movement in 1848, an effort that took seven decades for women to achieve, until women got the right to vote in 1920. Once accomplished, it became a non-issue. Of course women vote! This is what success looks like. This same pattern is seen in the economic and social gains for women by women in the late 1960s and 70s. In consciousness-raising groups, women learned about being stereotyped and stifled. Speaking truth to power emerged as a ringing intention, done through demonstrations, conferences, marches, legal suits, and personal confrontations. The idea of equal rights spread. Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique was a starting point. Others wrote articles and essays, many were published in Ms. Magazine or in anthologies of women’s writings. Women challenged the invisible assumptions of women’s inferiority and the right of men and male institutions to limit access to education, professions and occupations. The consequences of sexism and the idea of equality brought about a huge cultural change in the United States and influenced the world. That gains are taken for granted is a measure of success. Young women now assume that they have opportunities and rights that women never have had as a gender before, and still do not in many parts of the world. Just like the right to vote, once the perceptions and voices of a critical number of empowered women are heard, what was radical and opposed becomes the new normal.

When I wrote The Millionth Circle: How to Change Ourselves and The World as a guide to women’s circles in 1999, the mechanism through which women’s circles with a spiritual center could bring about an end to patriarchy was based upon theoretical biologist Rupert Sheldrake’s work on morphic fields and morphogenesis. The millionth circle like the allegorical hundredth monkey that inspired my title, was a metaphoric number. It was the final one to tip the scales, the one that added to all the rest formed a critical mass, after which a new idea or attitude or behavior becomes accepted. A recent example would be Global Warming, an idea that was resisted and even ridiculed, until almost overnight, a critical number of people accepted it. I was aware that it happened between the hardcover publication of Urgent Message From Mother: Gather the Women, Save the World in 2005 and the paperback edition in 2008. Also pivotal for me, was Malcolm Gladwell’s The Tipping Point based on geometrical progression, another way of explaining how evolutionary ideas spread. It’s how a virus spreads or a YouTube video goes viral. It’s like how a snowball starts as the size of a baseball, gathers snow and momentum and as it rolls downhill could become an avalanche. It is what I sense is happening: there is momentum, circles form easier and easier, and the more there are, the easier it is and the less time it takes for more to form.

A circle with a spiritual center provides support for authentic acts of expression, to discern and commit to what I call your “assignment.” Mine is about writing and speaking and spreading the word about circles and assignments. The current vehicle for my message is Like a Tree: How Women, Trees, and Tree People Can Save the Planet. I call upon mystical activists and Sacred Feminine feminists, the men and women I call “tree people” who feel deep connections to trees and the sacred world.

If you find yourself wanting to give back or make a difference and are drawn to the possibility, I suggest that you will recognize an assignment that is yours by three characteristics, by your answers to three questions that only you can answer: One: Is it meaningful — to you? Two: Will it be fun? If it draws upon your skills and experience, calls on your creativity and if you are in the company of people who share your values and commitment –it will be fun. And three: Is it motivated by love? In the first half of adult life, parenting can fit this description as can developing an innate talent that will require years of perseverance and discipline, or following a calling into a helping profession. Like Joseph Campbell’s “Follow your bliss.” it does not mean that this will be easy, or that you will be successful or that others will understand. It is however, living your personal myth, which we do through the choices we make. Heed the Goethe quote that begins, “Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it now!”

Once you make a heart commitment to take up an assignment or sacred mission, a trustworthy circle provides spiritual and emotional support. In circle, what is meaningful is important. Prayers are requested. Gratitude expressed. Often a candle is placed in the center. With or without awareness, the sacred feminine is represented by it. For this is a symbol of Hestia the Greek Goddess of the Hearth and Temple, who was present in the fire at the center of a round hearth; her fire was the source of light, warmth and nourishment. In women’s circles such as these, we are catalysts, witnesses, and midwives for each other’s growth and path of individuation.

Meanwhile, the world is now in crisis—danger and opportunity exist side by side. There are more than 6.7 billion of us on the planet, doubling since 1960, adding about 78 million every year. For all the concern about sustainability and global warming, left out of the solution is the need for reproductive rights for all women, and universal education that includes girls. Conflicts that could escalate into nuclear warfare continue, while political leaders posture and threaten each other. Conflict resolution knowledge and women are notably not brought to the table, at a time when growing numbers of us and weapons of mass destruction could make this beautiful planet uninhabitable. Demonstrations for democracy and social justice, a resurgence of feminism, research support that humans are born good and that meditation changes brain patterns, and at the quantum physics level, we are all one suggest the potential for evolutionary change. It depends upon what we do. It would be fair to say that whether matters will get better or much worse will be decided in our lifetime.

I take to heart, the Dalai Lama’s words at the Vancouver Peace conference in 2009, when he said that it is up to Western women to save the world. I’d expand “western” to mean everywoman anywhere who has been liberated by the women’s movement to define herself by the choices she makes. Western women are the beneficiaries of education, responsibilities, authority, opportunities, democracy, medical advances, and reproductive choice that women have never had in history. As members of the female gender, women respond to stress differently than men, and have empathic, collaborative and communication abilities that to contribute to decision making and conflict resolution. When women’s maternal concerns for their children extend to all children, when women have an equal say with men in making decisions at every level, when women’s ability to look after others and budget limited resources is valued, then peace and a sustainable world will be possible.

Never doubt that small groups of committed women can change the world: *we did before, we can do it again!*

With love and hope,

Jean Shinoda Bolen

(1943 words)

Article written for Women of Spirit and Faith anthology: Women, Spirituality and Transformative Leadership: Where Grace Meets Power. Edited by Kay Lindahl. Kathe Schaaf, Kathleen Hurty, Rev. Guo Cheen, publisher: Skylight Paths Publishing, a division of Longhill Partners, Inc.Woodstock, VT. Pubdate in 2011-2012. Copyright Jean Shinoda Bolen, 2011, jeanbolen@gmail.com (www.jeanbolen.com) Permission granted to share this with others.

About our Guest

Jean Shinoda Bolen, M. D, is a psychiatrist, Jungian analyst, and an internationally known author and speaker. She is the author of The Tao of Psychology, Goddesses in Everywoman, Gods in Everyman, Ring of Power, Crossing to Avalon, Close to the Bone, The Millionth Circle, Goddesses in Older Women, Crones Don’t Whine, Urgent Message from Mother, and Like a Tree with over eighty foreign translations. She is a Distinguished Life Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association and a former clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California at San Francisco, a past board member of the Ms. Foundation for Women and the International Transpersonal Association. She was a recipient of the Institute for Health and Healing’s “Pioneers in Art, Science, and the Soul of Healing Award”, and is a Diplomate of the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology. She was in two acclaimed documentaries, the Academy-Award winning anti-nuclear proliferation film Women—For America, For the World, and the Canadian Film Board’s Goddess Remembered. The Millionth Circle Initiative (www.millionthcircle.org) was inspired by her book and led to her involvement at the UN. She is the initiator and the leading advocate for a UN 5th World Conference on Women (www.5wcw.org), which was supported by the Secretary General and the President of the General Assembly on March 8, 2012.

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How do women and men’s psyches differ? What is color psychology at a deeper level? Dougall Frasier, a Cosmic coach and Psychic, offers his unique perspective as a gifted clairvoyant. Plus, we’ll discuss YOUR colors and what they mean. Our exploration goes beyond the superficial of what look good on you, and we’ll figure out how colors effect you at the soul level.

Show Summary * Link to Segment 1: Psychology Research: A Psychic Perspective- How does a women and man’s psyche differ? You will be amazed how much information is revealed through the energy field that surrounds each of us. Find out what a clairvoyant sees when they look at your psyche and what it means. Dougall Frasier offers his perspective on dark and light energy and a more neutral way of looking at one’s dark side. * Link to Segment 2: Color Psychology: A Psychic Perspective- Each of us has a core soul color and each color has meaning. How does knowing your color help in building your self-awareness of yourself and help you create more balance in your mind, body, and spirit?

Blog Post from our Guest I’ve had writers block. Or is it blogger’s block? Whatever it is, I’ve been blocked. My mind can conjure up a dozen good reasons as to why I haven’t written a blog in almost six months. Maybe it was reading some of the negative comments from the last blog that I wrote. Perhaps it was the lawsuit against me based on a previous blog (don’t ask). The truth is that once our minds get used to a specific identity, it can be difficult to change. For a long time I was in a good creative flow, and comfortable with the identity of being a writer. I would come up with ideas and the words would flow freely. I created goals and achieved them, like getting published on the Huffington Post.

Then life happens. I took a family vacation, and figured that I would stop writing to “recharge.” Time passed, and I noticed that new ideas were not popping into my head when I sat down to write. Slowly, my perspective transitioned from that of an author to a person with writer’s block. David would sweetly say, “How about we brainstorm ideas for a new blog today?” “You brainstorm ideas for a blog today,” I would sarcastically mumble like a 15 year old. Admittedly this was the not the most mature response.

I would lament with friends about having writer’s block, constantly saying things like, “I can’t think of anything. I’m not inspired. It feels like too much pressure.“ Without realizing it, I became comfortable with the identity of not writing. I spend a majority of my day advising people on how to jumpstart their lives. Whether it is career, love, or spiritual life, we are guaranteed to get stuck somewhere along the journey. The goal is to remind yourself to jumpstart your “engine.” Today, I swore to myself that I would blog. I know that writing will help me forge a new writer’s identity, even if my first blogs don’t flow freely from my mind. The dominant voice in my head will no longer be about the perceived block. I will push through the resistance and connect with my creative voice, understanding that the wheels may be a bit rusty at first.

Perhaps you have an area of your life that is blocked. Here are some simple ideas to jumpstart key areas in our lives.

Career: Unfortunately, many people can identify with being out of work. I often counsel clients who are struggling to find employment. Lawyers, teachers, real estate agents and so many others have been affected in this economy. These are all qualified people who need to feel an identity of productiveness. I was recently working with a coaching client who came to me after having been out of work for over two years. She was in her mid 30’s and had been laid off from a six-figure salary job in finance. “This week, I want you to call small companies in your town and offer to work a day there for free.” “What? Why on earth would I do that? Can’t you just give me an affirmation to help manifest a paying job?”

My client was pretty aggravated by this suggestion. Let me explain my process. If you are out of work, or even if your business is slow, your subconscious mind gets comfortable with an identity of lack. You start thinking of yourself as an unemployed person. You process it with your friends, family and in this case your coach. “I am out of work” repeats itself in your head, and this stagnant energy becomes a self-fulfilling manifestation. We have to shift that energy and get it moving. There are so many ways to feel productive during your day. Call your local soup kitchen and volunteer. Offer your services to a small business or non-profit organization for a short time. The goal here is to end the day thinking I worked today. If someone asks what you did today, the response will change from a demoralizing “nothing” to “I worked.” This will powerfully change the energy of your identity, and will help you to manifest work. At every job interview, the interviewer asks what have you been up to for the past two years. Your response will shift to a more positive place, because you will have been keeping busy and helping others at the same time. I have used this technique with my unemployed clients and have received an overwhelmingly positive response.

Romance: I recently had dinner at our friend Sharon’s house. Sharon was giving us details on her new adventures in online dating. She’s never had a significant relationship and was reluctant to “waste time” with the wrong guys. We scanned some of the profiles of people who asked her out, and joked about some of the inappropriate guys who had emailed her. I could feel her desire to find a good partner for herself, but she consistently turned down every date request for one reason or another. When I asked why she did this, Sharon kept returning to the idea that she didn’t want to waste time with someone who didn’t have the potential to be her soul mate. “You just need to go to a bar and make out with a cute guy,” I offered.

She seemed a little thrown off by that advice, but allow me to explain what I mean. Sharon was identifying as a single woman who was unlucky in love, and just couldn’t find a soul mate. If you are in a dating slump, you need to let the Universe know that you are open to finding love. I’m not encouraging you to go have a one night stand, or to do something that makes you feel unsafe. But sometimes, to increase your dating energy you need to just jump in there. Have a date with a nice person, and flirt to experience some chemistry. Don’t expect him to be your instant soul mate, and don’t start planning your wedding after one nice evening together. In fact, it is more likely that you will not find a perfect match right away. The point here is to be open to love, so that you can attract it from the Universe. And as far as wasting time, I prefer to look at every bad date as an opportunity to learn what you don’t want in a relationship. After all, you will appreciate it that much more when you do meet the right person.

If you are experiencing a romantic block, try going out on a minimum of three dates next week. It can be through an online dating site, a blind date, or any other opportunity. Remember, you are simply getting the energy moving by shifting to a more “dateable” identity.

Fitness: I tend to go through phases of eating well and going to the gym every day. If I feel good as a result of a specific exercise, it can become part of my routine. I find a class that I like and a teacher who inspires me. The alarm clock rings and my entire morning is laid out. I finish my cup of coffee, drive to the gym and am greeted by my favorite teacher. I feel better about myself the more that I go. I’m stronger and I feel like I belong there. But as most of us experience, life happens. My gym changed their entire schedule of classes, and my favorite teacher isn’t available at the times that I like to go. So I stop going for a few weeks, and once again begin to identify with being a couch potato. It is the hardest thing in the world to start going again. I was overweight as a teen, and can easily take on that identity if I am not careful. Eventually, I commit to exercising every day for at least 15 minutes. I give myself permission to leave the gym after 15 minutes but I have to go. Once you step foot in the gym, your subconscious mind identifies as an active person. Even if you leave after a few minutes, you were there. No one will know how long you have worked out that day. Maybe the girl at the front desk notices, but who is she to judge?

The most successful people in any area of life will come across a block or stagnant energy. There is nothing wrong with taking a break or having some down time. Our goal is to make sure that the down time doesn’t become a crutch that limits our ability to create and be in alignment with the law of attraction. I invite you to scan your life right now and think about that goal list you have in your head. Feel free to comment below with an area that you need to improve. Seeing it in writing might be just the jumpstart that you need!

About Our Guest Everyone wants to know when they will find true love, if they should change careers, and how to follow their dreams. In short, everyone would like a peek into their future! Psychic and Cosmic Coach Dougall Fraser, who provides life coaching, is an expert in the business of futures. Whether you want to examine your past, present or beyond,Dougall Fraser has a special ability to tune into your life. His relatable voice, down to earth humor, and dead-on predictions got him named Best Psychic in Dallas at the age of 20. Thirteen years later he has garnered international recognition in countless media outlets.

Dougall knew at a very early age that he saw the world and others differently. He could easily perceive the issues, secrets and desires in people’s lives. This trait was not always welcomed by others (especially at a party). He gave his first reading at the age of 8 and was regularly counseling adults while still in grade school. By the time he was 14, Dougall began to better understand his abilities and how to best use them for the greater good. He has studied meditation, psychology and healing extensively to enhance his natural talent.

Dougall has maintained a professional practice for more than fifteen years and is recognized as one of the country’s best psychics. His international clientele ranges from CEOs and celebrities, to people just like you who may need extra insight. With his own spiritual belief system, Dougall feels that we all have a blueprint for our lives. His main purpose is to help people assess and attain the life that they dream of.

The self titled “Queer Guy with a Third Eye” Dougall maintains a refreshing and humorous approach to his new age practice. Dougall utilizes clairvoyance, intuition, empathy, color therapy, interior design, and practical advice to help people achieve their goals and dreams.

Dougall has been featured on many national TV shows, including The Real Housewives of O.C., Dancing with the Stars, VH1’s Best Week Ever, The John Walsh Show and Good Day LA! He has also been recognized as one of the country’s top clairvoyants/psychics by Spin magazine and The New York Post. He is the author of the bestselling book, But You Knew That Already: What a Psychic Can Teach You About Life. He currently lives and works inLos Angeles with his husband.

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What are the core competencies that women offer in the workplace? How can women use this information to better market their skills during promotions and finding a job? Bonita Banducci, a Gender Expert who teaches at Santa Clara University, helps companies find ways to retain women and bring more innovation and competitive advantage to their companies.

Show Summary Link to Segment 1: Most companies lean toward evaluating their workforce based on male-oriented competencies. What are female-oriented competencies that companies should consider if they want to tap the full potential of their women employees? Find out about a whole category of thinking and skills that women bring that can be used to generate innovation and better solutions to problems.

Link to Segment 2: There are core competencies that have a female and male expression. For example, a women will demonstrate being a team player in a different way than a man. Often a women’s way is misinterpreted. What are other competencies that women and men express differently? How can women narrow the divide? How can men shift their perspective on these competencies?

Blog Post by our Guest

Rise!-as you Lean In! There is a confidence and freedom as well as joy that my women graduate engineering students discover in my Gender and Engineering class at Santa Clara University. The men, too, discover a new way of seeing the world and how to work effectively with differences with Gender Competence, as one student put it, “I feel like I have a strategic advantage.”

There is one lesson about an everyday practice that drives women’s ideas and eventually drives women themselves out of organizations and out of engineering, that when understood and managed applying RISE, not only retains women, building confidence and freedom to contribute, but also increases innovation.

RISE is a model and formula for having different “competencies” of women and men working together. Relational & Individualistic = Synergy (the whole greater than the sum of the parts) and mutual Empowerment.

Many women see the world through a Relational lens of relationship and demonstrate competencies of “connecting the dots” systems thinking, multi-tasking, and sharing information to create new information.

Many men see the world through an Individualistic lens of status and independence, that give us traditional competencies of prioritized, linear thinking, focus on one thing at a time, and sharing information only as needed.

The everyday practice of playing Devil’s Advocate is the ability to poke holes and find faults using deductive reasoning to bullet proof an idea. As one Individualistic Executive of a local space agency said to me, “We do science here, Devil’s Advocate is science.” Relational people often respond to Devil’s Advocate as an indicator that their idea is not good—and often drop it, sometimes taking it personally that they are not competent. Then they show up to others as not confident and not competent. Point out that you bring another competency, Collaboration or Angel’s Advocate, to build on an idea with “what could make it work” and “what else is possible with the idea,” using inductive reasoning. You frame a competency that is otherwise invisible, unarticulated and unrewarded.

You bring a new competency into the organizational culture. You can teach your Devil’s Advocates by insisting, “Before we play Devil’s Advocate, I want to play Angel’s Advocate and bring your best thinking to this.” It will be a new muscle for them. You may have to prime the pump for them, demonstrate what you mean. You can also engage them in teaching you how to stand up to Devil’s Advocate, when that time comes. You will never back down again.

The first time I did an exercise to practice both Devil’s Advocate and Angel’s Advocate, two men who had been working on an environmental engineering problem together, came up with a solution they had not thought of before. This drove home, to me, just how foreign Angel’s Advocate collaboration can be.

At the space agency, the executive who said “Devil’s Advocate is science,” responded to the exercise with a woman colleague with“we had so much fun with all the new ideas bubbling up, we didn’t even play Devil’s Advocate.” He could see that Devil’s Advocate had been keeping the lid on innovation, people proposing new ideas, realizing they did not want to stand before a firing squad. Indeed, the highest ranking woman, next in line to run the agency, told me she had a new vision for the agency she had only shared with some women because she did not want to stand before the firing squad. With anticipated budget cuts to space projects, she envisioned taking on Homeland Security, Global Warming and Renewable Energy—her secret—until she saw her male colleagues learn to play Angel’s Advocate and could “trust” them with her vision.

Business schools are beginning to teach “improv,” responding to ideas with a “yes, and…” to not block ideas. Women need to teach this Relational competency too.

Notice that many Relational competencies are what you think is common sense, but they are not common, they are different and can be misunderstood unless you define them as competencies. Bringing all your Relational competencies to the table, speaking about them, pointing out the value and working them together with traditional competencies will have you, your colleagues and your organization RISE.

About Our Guest

Bonita Banducci teaches Gender and Engineering for Santa Clara University’s School of Engineering Graduate Program in the Core Curriculum, Engineering and Society. She is an Gender expert on how to retain and promote women in the Engineering Workplace for Mentornet, which provides professional mentors to women and underrepresented minorities in Science Technology Engineering and Math (STEM) majors in hundreds of universities throughout the United States. She is President of Banducci Consulting based in Hayward. Her original research in one of Silicon Valley’s Fortune 500 companies “What is the Contribution Women Make that Could be the Strategic Advantage in the Global Marketplace?” launched her specialization in Unmasking the Gender Effect. Banducci is a founding faculty of the Santa Clara University’s Global Women’s Leadership Network, sponsored by the Leavey School of Business and is a faculty member and coach for the Women Leaders for the World Program. She has taught Leadership Experience at the Leavey School of Business.

Banducci’s training work in gender differences and leadership, based in brain science, language, perception, paradigms and “Competencies,” adds a powerful dimension to coaching women and men, facilitating change and accelerating new behaviors. Her workshops and focus group work provide new thinking to leadership, and increase productivity, innovation, and promotability for both women and men.

As Senior Consultant for Banducci Consulting, she has worked with Adaptec, Amgen, Booz Allen Hamilton, Cisco, Hewlett Packard, Intel, Johnson & Johnson, KLA-Tencor, Leadership Sunnyvale, Lifescan, Sun Microsystems, NASA Ames, Navy Corps of Engineers, US and California Environmental Protection Agencies, Xilinx, as well as organizations from local government, Santa Clara County and City and County of San Francisco and social benefit sectors, The Girl Scouts, YWCA and Center for Philanthropy at Indiana University.

Banducci represented the Santa Clara County Commission on the Status of Women at the UN World Conference on Women in Beijing leading a workshop on “Creating Partnership of Women in Business with Women in Development for Sustainable Global Development.”

She has delivered workshops at Santa Clara University, University of San Francisco, Haas School of Business at UC Berkeley, Indiana University-Purdue University at Indianapolis, and Stanford’s Institute for Research on Women and Gender as well as women in technology conferences, WITI, Society of Women Engineers, Santa Clara University Women and Business.

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Our guest, Leslie Morgan Steiner,a Harvard educated and powerful business women, spent four years married to another Ivy League hot shot from Wall Street. Sounds sort of perfect, right? Unfortunately, there were no Disney moments here. Instead Leslie was in an abusive relationship where her husband poured coffee grounds on her head, pushed her down a set of stairs, and it wasn’t until she was almost brutally beaten to death that she decided it was time to end the relationship. Join us on May 15 as we discuss “why victims stay? “, Leslie’s incredible story of recovery, and offer advice to victims trying to start over and heal from abusive relationships with others. If you can’t make the live date, make sure to subscribe to get the recording when it comes out. Our friend us on Facebook.

Show Summary * Link to Segment 1: Changing Our Perceptions – Leslie Morgan Steiner, author of NY Times best seller, Crazy Love, will shift your thoughts about domestic violence victims. She’ll offer an intimate look at who gets abused and why victims often don’t act. Anyone can be a victim of this kind of violence and abuse, hear what made her (Harvard educated business women from an affluent loving family) susceptible to her husband’s psychological trap. * Link to Segment 2: Advice for Surviving and Thriving – Leslie offers 3 pieces of advice and hope for abuse victims who want to get out of their relationships and restart their lives. Leslie offers how she successfully got out of her 4 year marriage and is now happily remarried. Get a better understanding of why it’s so hard for victims to leave. Hear the major life lesson Leslie learned after her experience.

Post from our Guest crazy love

If you and I met at one of our children’s birthday parties, in the hallway at work, or at a neighbor’s barbecue, you’d never guess my secret: that as a young woman I fell in love with and married a man who beat me regularly and nearly killed me.

I don’t look the part. I have an MBA and an undergraduate degree from Ivy League schools. I live in a red brick house on a tree-lined street in one of the prettiest neighborhoods in Washington, DC. I’ve got 15 years of marketing experience at Fortune 500 companies and a best-selling book about motherhood to my name. A smart, loyal husband with a sexy gap in his front teeth, a softie who puts out food for the stray kittens in our alley. Three rambunctious, well-loved children. A dog and three cats of our own. Everyone in my family is blonde (the people, at least).

Ah, if only being well-educated and blonde and coming from a good family were enough to defang all life’s demons.

If I were brave enough the first time I met you, I’d try to share what torture it is to fall in love with a good man who cannot leave a violent past behind. I’d tell you why I stayed for years, and how I finally confronted someone whose love I valued almost more than my own life. Then maybe the next time you came across a woman in an abusive relationship, instead of asking why anyone stays with a man who beats her, you’d have the empathy and courage to help her on her way.

We all have secrets we don’t reveal the first time we cross paths with others. This is mine.

About our Guest Leslie Morgan Steiner lives in Washington, DC with her husband and three young children. She recently completed her third nonfiction book, which explores the ways advances in fertility treatments are changing the face of the American family and expanding what it means to be a mother today.

Her 2009 memoir about surviving domestic violence, Crazy Love, was a New York Times bestseller, People Pick, Book of the Week for The Week magazine, and subject of the first TED Talk by a domestic violence survivor.

She is the editor of the critically-acclaimed anthology Mommy Wars: Stay-at-Home and Career Moms Face Off on Their Choices, Their Lives, Their Families (Random House 2006) a frank, surprising, and refreshing look at American motherhood from 26 different perspectives.

From 2006-2008 she wrote over 500 columns for the Washington Post’s popular daily on-line work/family column, “On Balance.”

She currently writes the weekly column, “Two Cents on Modern Motherhood,” for Modern Mom and Mommy Track’d: Managing the Chaos of Modern Motherhood.

Steiner has been a guest on the Today Show, National Public Radio, ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox News, MSNBC, and has been profiled by Newsweek, BusinessWeek, Elle, Parenting, Parents, Self, Glamour, Vanity Fair, The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times and The Washington Post.

Steiner holds a BA in English from Harvard College.

Her writing was first published in Seventeen Magazine when she was 21. As a writer and editor at Seventeen, she explored subjects ranging from eating disorders to teen runaways to family relationships. She went on to contribute to Mademoiselle, Money Magazine, and other magazines, and to work as a restaurant critic and feature writer for New England Monthly. Her essay “Starving for Perfection” appeared in the anthology The College Reader (Harper Collins).

In addition to years as a nonfiction magazine writer and editor, Steiner has an MBA degree in marketing from the Wharton School of Business.After graduating from Wharton in 1992 with an MBA in Marketing, she launched Splenda Brand Sweetener throughout Australia, the Mid-East and Latin America for Johnson & Johnson, the world’s largest consumer healthcare company.

She returned to her hometown of Washington, DC in 2001 to become General Manager of the 1.1 million circulation Washington Post Magazine, a position she held for five years.

Over the years, she has turned her professional experience into advocacy for abused women as a spokeswoman at The Harriet Tubman Center in Minneapolis.

Related Posts * Another radio show on how to approach youth violence: http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2013/03/26/youth-violence/ * Founder of Bullying Stories: Dealing with Bullying from an adult perspective http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2011/03/31/mar-31-bullying-expert-alan-eisenberg-sharing-his-stories-about-bullying * Radio show: Both parties are victims in violence. http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2013/03/26/youth-violence/ * What does bullying looks like at school and how to work with your school if you suspect bullying: http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2011/08/18/825-bullying-from-a-school-principals-perspective * Radio show with coaching advice: How to deal with your guilt and shame? and another radio show with advice on shaming others. * Making peace with violence. A Lama’s perspective. * A spiritual perspective on violence and a coaching exercise to try.

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As mother’s we have a unique voice and concrete needs at work that when addressed at the national and local level create a more productive thriving economy. We’ll talk about why “if mom isn’t happy, nobody’s happy” applies not only to your family but society at large. Learn about the critical societal issues regarding mothers that are we ALL need to care about to create long-term well being. Join us as we talk Kristin Rowe-Finkbeiner, founder of Mom’s Rising, and listen to her State of the Union in the US for working mothers. If you are a mom, get fired up to use your power as a Mom for a force of societal good!

Show Summary * Link to Segment 1: Shocking Stats about inequities in women wages – Sure, there is propoganda that lull us into thinking everything is improving for women at work. Kristin Rose-Finkbeiner shares the reality about women’s wages versus men’s and the under representation of women in leadership. Kristin shares how Mom’s Rising works with policy partners so that busy moms can have their voices be heard on important legislation on sick days, childcare, and more * Link to Segment 2: State of the Union – How have we done over the last decade on issues related to moms? Are we better off? What is still broken? Get some great stats that help prove the financial ROI on food stamps, childcare, and more.

Blog Post from our Guest

Lean In – Think this doesn’t matter to you? Think again. Posted: 03/13/2013 10:49 am

Childcare costs more than college. Mothers withequal resumes are hired 80 percent less of the time than non-mothers and are offered lower starting salaries. It costs over $200,000 to raise one child from birth to age 18 (not including college).

All of this is happening every day in the backdrop of a national a “Lean In” conversation.

Let’s face it. Whether you love or hate Sheryl Sandberg’s premise in her new book, “Lean In,” which analyzes why women have stalled in workplace leadership and suggests ways to advance; this book is shining a spotlight on a long overdue conversation about the roots of gender-based inequality in the workplace.

We have avoided the conversation about the reality of women, and importantly of mothers, in the workforce for too long, which is particularly odd given that women comprise half of the entire paid labor force for the first time in history, three-quarters of moms are now in the labor force, and most families now need two breadwinners to make ends meet.

Yet despite comprising half of the paid labor force, only 5% of Fortune 500 CEOs are women. The glass ceiling remains solid and a Maternal Wall is blocking the way for many women to even get anywhere near that glass barrier. Yes, a Maternal Wall.

Here’s what the Maternal Wall looks like: Women without children make 90 cents to a man’s dollar, mothers make 73 cents, single moms make about 60 cents to a man’s dollar, and women of color experience increased wage hits on top of that. (Overall women make only 77 cents to a man’s dollar for full-time year round work) More than 80% of women in our nation have children by the time they’re forty-four–and most hit that wall.

Think this doesn’t matter to you, or to our national economy? Consider this: Women make three-quarters of purchasing decisions. When women don’t have adequate funds in their pockets, our entire economy — which for better or worse is now built on consumer spending — suffers.

The glass ceiling and Maternal Wall not only hurts women’s pocketbooks, they also hurt the bottom line of our nation’s businesses. A 19-year Pepperdine University survey of Fortune 500 companies found that those with the best record of promoting women outperformed the competition by anywhere from 41 to 116 percent. In other words, more women in leadership meant higher profits.

At MomsRising.org, an organization of more than a million members nationwide, we know our economy will be stronger when more women and mothers are in leadership, as well as when more women are paid fairly and can use their purchasing power in local communities. Because of this, we value women like Sheryl Sandburg who encourage and mentor other women to lead. (Check out the vibrant conversation about this here.)

We also know that many women and mothers are struggling against tradition, subliminal discrimination, and structural barriers. It’s going to take more than each individual “Leaning In” to make the changes we need. Indeed, we need to start “Leaning Together” and lifting each other up.

A lot of the media discussion around Sandberg’s new book has been focused on women in higher level positions. But let’s face it: This leaves many women out. In fact, it leaves most women out.

Only 9 percent of all women in the labor force earn $75,000 or more annually, 37 percent earn between $30,000 and $74,999 annually, and 54 percent earn less than $30,000 annually.

We are living in more than one America.

The realities of life for higher-wage earning women are vastly different from the realities of most women in our country. While one group is engaged in the conversation about how to best “Lean In” to fight for six figures or more and a corner office, more than 80 percent of low wage workers don’t have access to a single paid sick day for themselves or their children.

There are vastly more women in low wage positions than in high. In fact, the majority of minimum wage earners are women.

And this is the crux of the controversy.

While an honest and soul searching discussion about why highly paid women are not advancing to the top of organizations is essential, we must also have an equally serious conversation about how we will advance workplace policies like paid sick leave and paid family leave that are essential to the economic security of all women and their families.

Having access to such workplace policies is shown to help lower the wage gaps between moms and non-moms, save taxpayers money in the long run, as well as raise all boats by benefiting businesses and all employees. For instance, in states with paid family leave, a recent study found that women who take paid leave are 40% less likely to need or receive food stamps in the year following a child’s birth when compared to those who do not take any leave. Yet too few people have access to these workplace policies.

In short, our national “floor” for workplace policies is way too low. These floors need to be raised; structural barriers need to be addressed.

As we applaud those who “Lean In” to advance their careers, we must not forget that other women will need more than assertiveness and self-promotion to advance. Most mothers in the low wage workforce are struggling to find quality and affordable daycare (which now costs more than collegein most states), and are working in jobs without paid family leave, sick days, or flexible work options that ensure that employees can be successful both at home and at work. Middle income women struggle with many of these same work structure issues, while women in higher income positions often have access to these programs.

We’ve seen recently, that the mere ascension of women in the workplace alone does not guarantee that family friendly policies will be implemented. For instance, Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer’s move to end the company’s policy of allowing employees to work remotely.

Leaning in is a necessity, but it’s going to take more than “leaning in” to advance all women in the workforce. And in fairness, Sheryl Sandburg acknowledges this in her book.

Solutions are within our reach.

We know which policies (like paid family leave, earned sick days, and affordable childcare) save taxpayer dollars, improve women’s economic security, act to help close gender-based wage gapsand break down the Maternal Wall, and strengthen our national economy as a whole. To be blunt, when we don’t lean together, we’re leaving money on the table.

These solutions won’t magically happen without people coming together to push to update our outdated workplace policies, practices, and laws. It’s going to take all of us–women, men, elected and corporate leaders–leaning forward together to build a nation where women, families, and businesses can thrive.

Follow Kristin Rowe-Finkbeiner on Twitter: www.twitter.com/rowefinkbeiner

About Our Guest Kristin Rowe-Finkbeiner Executive Director/CEO and Co-Founder of MomsRising, Kristin Rowe-Finkbeiner has been deeply involved in grassroots engagement and policy analysis for more than two decades. Started in May 2006, MomsRising is an on-the-ground and online organization with more than 1 million members, more than 750 contributing bloggers, and more than a hundred aligned national organizations, working together to increase family economic security, to end discrimination against women and mothers, and to help ensure all children can thrive. Rowe-Finkbeiner serves as board President of the MomsRising Education Fund. In 2012, Forbes.com named MomsRising’s website one of the “Top 100 Websites For Women” for the third year in a row.

She has received numerous accolades for her work, including fellowships from the Rockwood Institute and the Hunt Alternatives Fund, awards from the Washington State League of Women Voters, and ParentMap Magazine. Her awards for writing include the Society of Professional Journalists Excellence in Journalism award for magazine writing, the Ernesta Drinker Ballard Award, as well as an award from the Independent Book Publishers Association.

Rowe-Finkbeiner is also a frequent public speaker, radio host, and an award-winning author of books, including The F-Word: Feminism in Jeopardy and The Motherhood Manifesto, which she co-authored with MomsRising co-founder and board President Joan Blades. She has written articles on a variety of topics, including women and families, public policy, motherhood, economic security, equality, health, civic engagement, and new feminism. She is a regular contributor to the Huffington Postand has been interviewed about issues related to women and mothers, family economic security, and grassroots organizing by numerous international, national and local news outlets, including,CNN, New York Times, Washington Post, Today Show, Good Morning America, NOW with David Brancaccio, To the Contrary and BBC World Service.

Rowe-Finkbeiner is also the host of “MomsRising Radio with Kristin Rowe-Finkbeiner,” a new, weekly, hour-long show on 1480AM in Washington, D.C. and available on iTunes.

Related Info * Get solutions on how women can overcome any fears you may have about money management issues * Be free of any limits place by others or you about fully embracing your power as women. * Captain Linda Greenlaw offers the roughest seas she ever sailed with her teenage girl.

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Do you work compulsively because you have no idea if you will have enough money for your retirement and kids? What are the top 3 mistakes we make about money? What are 3 simple things you can do to feel like you are in control of your money no matter how much you have? You’ll be surprised how much money worries drain your energy and drive. Emily Zillig, a money coach, will share with you what you need to figure out about money money management so that you can spend less, save more, and increase your income.

Show Summary Link to Segment 1: Join money coach Emily Zillig as she talks a taboo subject– money. As Emily says, “People would rather talk about sex, then money”. But, it’s critical that we talk about our money issues in order to overcome it. Our beliefs about money can cripple us into a place of inaction in our lives or a place of empowerment. We’ll get an inside look at the most common hang up’s that we all share about money and how to fix them.

Link to Segment 2: Join us as Emily Zillig shares the tricks of her trade, and shares with you the 3 critical steps you need to gain mastery over your resources. Don’t be surprised if you find ways of saving money just by listening to the show.

Blog Post from our Guest How to stop fear from f-ing up your life by EMILY Zillig on APRIL 21, 2013

With all the things going on in the world, there’s a lot of fear going around right now.

In just the last two days I’ve talked to people in deep pain about:

Fear of the IRS and taxes
Fear of digging out of huge debt
Fear of running out of money
Fear of talking to a spouse about money
Fear of being alone, of feeling invisible, of being hurt
Fear of government, the price of gas, toxins in food, disease, and pain
Fear of surprise bombings, mass shooters, and random violence.

Unfortunately, fear isn’t going to help you get through a single one of those things. Bombings happen. Children die. Sometimes we don’t plan (because, HELLO, we’re AFRAID!) and we owe overwhelming amounts to the IRS. Businesses fail. Relationships end. We get sick, and eventually we all die (that one is unavoidable).

Those things are painful, devastating, and sometimes life-altering. But there’s only so much any of us can do to stop them, and being afraid isn’t one of them.

As a matter of fact, fear makes it all worse. Fear shuts down your connection to your intuition. It creates barriers between you and other people. It stops you from connecting to your inner self and honoring and taking care of yourself.

It keeps you pushing harder and harder, being more and more vigilant, and then feeling not only afraid, but overwhelmed, exhausted, and out of control.

All of this other stuff – bills, income, the IRS, whether or not I offend someone with my boob job article – none of those things have anything to do with WHO I AM or WHAT IS TRULY IMPORTANT to me.

What is important to me?

My health. My children. My family and friends. Love. The fact that what I have learned in my crazy life and what I KNOW in my soul to be true may actually help someone. Staying in faith.

Faith means I live in my truth. I do what I feel is the right thing to do with the things I can control. I pay attention to my money, even if there “isn’t enough” in the moment. I file and pay my taxes. Not because I’m afraid (and trust me – I have a healthy respect for the IRS!), but because it needs to be done. And NOT having it done is a weight I’m not willing to carry around!

It is what it is, and being afraid isn’t going to change it. Taking control does. I trust that, as long as I stay in my truth, I’m doing what I can do. Whatever happens after that, I will handle it as it comes.

That’s really all any of us can do. The rest of those things – active shooters, random violence, the economy, the government – aren’t in my control. I choose to give my energy to my Important Things list instead.

What about the fears around those Important Things? We’ll talk about that later.

Love, light, and blessings to everyone affected by the bombings in Boston and the explosion in Texas. We love you.

About Our Guest The Mind, Body, and Spirit of Money is a creation of Emily Zillig, a money relationship expert, speaker, and author who guides people to easy money mastery. She’s passionate about helping people who think “I’m just not a money person” go from stressed, anxious, and unsure, to calm, confident, and happy, with their money, and their lives.

Emily Zillig helps people make, manage, and multiply their money – even if they’ve never balanced a checkbook.

She’s passionate about changing the way people relate to their money, so they can leave the emotions behind and get clear, confident, and in control. Her mission? A world with no money stress – less crime, less violence, more giving, and more happiness. Cheesy maybe, but a girl’s gotta have a vision!

After managing millions of dollars for the Federal government, patrolling the streets as a police officer, almost drowning in her own (very embarrassing) personal financial tsunami, and then creating a business working with people on their personal and business finances, Emily has learned a thing or two about the psychology of money. She spent years watching how money affects people – from multi-millionaires with mansions and yachts to homeless drug addicts who couldn’t afford food, but could somehow find over $100,000 per year for drugs.

Combining her psychology background, her personal path, and the inspiring experiences of her clients, she developed The Mind, Body, and Spirit of Money to give a step-by-step guide to other successful people who are ready to stop avoiding and start living.

She also loves to rock climb, play four-square with her two kids, and watch the Bachelor. Oh, and she loves Ethiopian and Mexican food, even though she’s sensitive to peppers.

It’s not about how much you make – it’s how you relate to what you have.

The post Money Management: Top 3 Mistakes we make and how to fix them appeared first on Fireitupwithcj.

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Are you sick and tired of waking up worried about your kids, your husband, and all your action items? What ever happened to your life? Where did “YOU” go? Join us as we talk to Mal Duane, author of Alpha Chick: Five Steps to Passion, Purpose & Personal Power is about “becoming” the person you were meant to be—living the life filled with love, honesty, and self-worth that you are meant to experience.

Show Highlights * Link to Segment 1: Women start giving their power away at a very early age. Mal Duane explains how we give our power away with each passing day and how you can regain your passion and power in your life. Mal offers her 5 step program on how to regain your life back. * Link to Segment 2: Mal continues describing her 5 step program and how she used it to resolve her addiction issues with alcohol. Get inspired to make the changes you need to get your life back on track.

Blog Post from our Guest – Women Empowerment

The Life Recovery Formula APRIL 15, 2013 BY Mal Duan

When life presents us with excruciating challenges, who do we take care of last? I am honored to be teaching a class for an amazing group of women in a recovery facility. Over and over, the topic of abusing ourselves comes up. These women recognize that they put themselves last and take care of others first. Even people that have harmed them or been unkind come before they do?

Sadly, this is a common situation with women in general. We habitually put ourselves last. My thoughts are if American airlines is telling you to put your mask on first if the plane is going down, is a pretty strong statement about taking care of yourself before helping others. If we don’t, we run out of oxygen. Get the picture!

The practice of self-care over a period of time creates a stronger, self-loving confident woman that becomes a better contributor in everything she does. Her relationships, her employment and physical demeanor all become measurably improved.

Here are some tips on how to put you first.

Take one hour in the morning for meditation/spiritual practice. If you need to get up an hour earlier than everyone else.
Schedule a treat for yourself weekly. Maybe a mani/pedi or a message. How about a new book?

I just finished reading Debbie Ford’s “Courage”. Great information about pushing through life’s challenges.

Take a walk in the middle or the end of the day, get some exercise and fresh air. It is a great place to think through important decisions.
A new perfume, lipstick, or makeup can be a real refresher when we need it.
Maybe watch an old romance movie on TV? Curl up with a cup of lavender or green tea.
Create a vision board with pictures of things you would like to attract into your life. This is a very powerful practice. (Worked on my getting my home and my dog)
Get a personal Life/Recovery coach for a session on how to create the life you deserve.

I would love to know about some of your favorite things that you do to nurture yourself. Feel free to comment here.

Remember, grab your mask first. It will all the difference to the ones you love.

Live Faithfully,

Mal

Self-care+Self-worth+Happiness=Recovery

About our Guest Mal Duane is a Best Selling Author and Personal Life and Recovery Coach who has overcome life challenges using the steps in the Alpha Chick Process. Her personal mission is to help women excel in all areas of their lives from business to personal relationships. Mal has been featured with Fox 25 Boston Morning Show, Aspire Magazine, Healthy Living and Metrowest Daily News. She has also been a featured guest on over thirty Blogtalk Radio shows discussing recovery and personal transformation.

Mal’s book, Alpha Chick, Five Steps for Moving from Pain to Power, is a best selling book and is available on Amazon.com.

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Tyler Young, a Seattle based coach, offers the inside scoop on dating and connecting with another person in a real way. What happens when we aren’t super confident and entering the dating scene? Tyler offers some examples of how can we “be ourselves” and still get a date. How can you be authentic, be vulnerable, and be yourself during a date, even when you are having a hard time (e.g.- lost job, just broke up, etc.)? Get the dating advice you need to be confident.

About our Guest

Tyler Young

Dating Coach, certified life coach, and owner of ATTRACTOLOGY, Tyler has studied for the past 10 years how to successfully overcome any kind of social anxiety or shyness, and especially that uncomfortable feeling you get when you’re in a room full of strangers and you have no clue what to say. After suffering from it himself growing up, he now thrives on making personal connections, and believes that it is an inherent need as a human being. Having traveled around the world, meeting amazing people along the way, he has developed philosophies that when put into action, will allow anyone to feel confident, witty, charismatic, and the life of the party, if that is what you aspire to be.

Email: Tyler@attractology.com

Other resources: * Tyler Young: Attract Anyone anywhere http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2012/06/14/feb-2-tyler-young/ * Spiritual Dating with Kathryn Alice: http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2012/06/06/jun-4-love-will-find-you-kathryn-alice/ * Law of Attraction and Dating: http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2011/02/18/feb-17-everything-you-need-to-know-about-findind-a-date-with-neil-ward/ * Online dating tips from Match.com: http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2011/02/10/feb-10-finding-your-true-love-online-with-whitney-casey-relationship-insider-to-match-com/ * Tips on getting back into dating scene: http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2011/02/03/feb-3-dating-made-easy-fast-and-painless-with-katherin-scott-2/

CJ’s article on dating:

When we are single, but looking for a relationship, there are dark moments when it’s easy to feel that we will never find love. It’s at these moments that we feel separate from a cruel world where everything seems to be made for two. Around Valentine’s Day we are haunted by images of smiling, kissing, and adoring couples buying lingerie, jewelry, and chocolates. Tyler Young, a Seattle dating coach, joins us on our radio program this Wednesday, February 13, from 1:00-1:30 PT to share ideas on finding love and that special someone.

In the meantime, here are a few things from energy psychology and meditation to help you find love an feel the love on Valentine’s Day.

Remove the stressful feelings of separateness and loneliness. It’s important to realize that your feelings of separateness and loneliness are just that… feelings, and something that will pass, like a rainy day. If possible, avoid creating meaning out of these feelings and generating debilitating stories about who you are (unattractive, unworthy, etc.), or how others have wronged you.
- Try a simple tool from energy psychology when your mind and feelings are a bit negative. Place your palm over your forehead (frontal neurovascular points) and place the other palm over the bump at the back of your head (occipital region) and take long deep breaths. Bring up all the negative thoughts that are making you feel bad (e.g., I’ll never find anyone; I’ll always be alone; No one will ever love me) and wallow in your thoughts and feelings. Hold for a few minutes, until you feel relief, a sense of relaxation, a shift, or you feel more neutral.
- Gaining awareness of your negative emotions can be a good first step to releasing them. Check out these in-depth ex
- plorations of your negative emotions, whether they be anger, jealousy and envy, and fear.
Bring in your faith and love in yourself. On a spiritual level you are never alone and at any moment you can be in communion with the whole and with your deepest self through meditation. Finding love is a matter of finding your heart. (Check out Wednesday’s show from 1:30-2:00 when we talk about the power of our heart.) While we seek to find love outside of ourselves, the most enduring love is that which we can find within ourselves. Here are a few meditations to try to get your mind in a more positive place. If you are a yoga fan try this heart meditation, or bring in a sense of deep love for yourself by trying this meditation. Either of these meditations can help shift your mindset to a more positive place. Listen to the following in depth discussions on gratitude, compassion, faith and courage, forgiveness, and self-love and how you can bring more love into your life.

There is a theory among energy healers that removing our negative thoughts and bringing in a positive mindset increases the level at which our energy vibrates, which is inherently attractive to others. I have found this to be the case for myself. Give it a try, and see if it works for you!

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What do you imagine one of the best captains on the entire east coast to look like? The first image that pops into my mind is a burly gray bearded gristly old man. How about if I told you the captain was an attractive brunette women? Everything about Linda Greenlaw, a best selling author and television celebrity, defies tradition in the very best possible way. She is a women who empowers other women and helps us challenge what it is to be a woman, what it means to be a mother, and how to live life to its fullest. Join us as we talk to her about her book Lifesaving Lessons- Notes from an Accidental Mother, when she shares her adventures as a mother of an adopted teenage girl, who had been sexually abused.

Show Summary Link to Segment 1: Linda Greenlaw, described as one of the best captains on the entire east coast, shares her story of how at 46 yo she accidentally became a mother of a 15 year old teenager. How did Linda’s life change after deciding to become a mother? What did she learn about herself and life after adopting a teenager?

Link to Segment 2: Linda Greenlaw, author of Lifesaving Lessons- Notes from an Accidental Mother, shares the story of how her idyllic community and she changed after discovering a pedophile had been living among them for years. How could an entire close knit community be duped for so long? Why didn’t her daughter reach out to the community for help?

Link to Full 24 min episode

Blog Post from our Guest Source: Frequently asked question from LindaGreenlawbooks.com How did you go from fishing to writing?

It was thanks to Sebastian Junger’s very generous portrayal of me in his book, The Perfect Storm. After that, publishers basically invited me to write a book. I ended up getting an agent, who told me to write what he explained was called a proposal, for a book that ended up being The Hungry Ocean. He sent it around to editors.Then there was a phone auction and Hyperion won. It wasn’t something I’d ever imagined doing. In college, I’d majored in English because I liked to read, but I’d never taken creative writing courses. I am an old-fashioned letter-writer, but that’s not the same as writing a book. I guess I just had some confidence that I could do it.

What was your impression of the movie The Perfect Storm? Did you like the way you were portrayed?

I was thrilled with Warner Bros choice of Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio to play Linda Greenlaw, and I was amazed at the special effects. The movie was Hollywood’s version of speculation as to what could have happened to the Andrea Gale, and maybe it was a little far-fetched. I don’t necessarily agree with their speculation. But I thought the movie was a nice tribute to a way of life of people who choose to go to sea.

Are you still fishing?

I was hauling lobster traps up until July 7, when I started the book tour. Unfortunately I’m going to miss most of the season on the book tour.

Who hauls your traps while you’re away on book tour?

My dad takes care of the traps and the boat while I’m gone. He actually prefers it when I’m gone, because it’s more fun to captain the boat than to be sternman. I’m very lucky to have my dad, that’s for sure.

How is your mother?

My mother is a breast cancer survivor. She’s feisty as ever, so I think she’s doing great.

How do you write – what is the process?

I am very disciplined about my writing. I treat it like I do fishing, in that it’s a job, its hard work, and I have to do it every day to do it well. I write every day from when I get up in the morning to about lunchtime and then I try to do something physical and outside the rest of the day. I write longhand in a notebook, making all of my corrections and changes on paper, and eventually I take the time to type it in to MS word.

Did you ever get married?

No, I’m not married but I have a very nice man in my life right now.

About our Guest Linda Greenlaw, America’s only female swordfishing captain, is author of three New York Times bestselling books about life as a commercial fisherman: THE HUNGRY OCEAN (1999), THE LOBSTER CHRONICLES (2002) and ALL FISHERMEN ARE LIARS (2004). She is the winner of the U.S. Maritime Literature Award in 2003, and the New England Book Award for nonfiction in 2004. Time Magazine called her 2005 RECIPES FROM A VERY SMALL ISLAND, co-authored with her mother Martha Greenlaw, a “must-have cookbook”. Additionally, she’s written two mysteries: SLIPKNOT (2007) and FISHERMAN’S BEND (2008).

Linda is featured in the hit Discovery Channel series Swords: Life on the Line. The second season of Swords will premier in August 2010.

Greenlaw’s latest book SEAWORTHY: A SWORDFISH BOAT CAPTAIN RETURNS TO THE SEA is a chronicle of her return to swordfishing after ten years as a lobsterman and marks her return to non-fiction and high-seas adventure.

Greenlaw first came to the public’s attention in Sebastian Junger’s THE PERFECT STORM, where Junger called her “one of the best captains … on the entire east coast.” She’s also been featured on Good Morning America, Today, CBS Sunday Morning, The Martha Stewart Show, and National Public Radio.

She lives on Isle au Haut, Maine.

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It’s easy to respond with anger, hatred, and revenge when innocent people are killed, hurt, or affected by the unconscious acts of another. How can we look at the recent acts of violence from a spiritual perspective? Maybe, those events no longer haunt you, but you are affected by violence and fear. Britta Dubbels shares a healing meditation to help allay your fears of violence and get healing from acts of violence.

Show Summary

Link to Segment 1: Recent acts of violence at the marathon, movie theaters, and public schools have left many of us living in a state of fear. Britta Dubbels, an intuitive heale,r shares an alternative view on these acts of violence and why compassion is the only answer to solve violence.

Link to Segment 2: Britta Dubbels offers an online practice for you to use any time you have a fear and you want to transform it.

Listen to the whole 20min episode.

Blog Post by our Guest

Blessings, Love and Light to Boston. Our hearts go out to all who suffer.

When my 9 year old daughter came home from school yesterday I asked her how she felt about what happened in Boston. She replied: “It is very scary mom and I feel really bad for the people. I think that whoever did it is really stupid and negative and couldn’t control themselves.”

Our compassion extends itself to the ones hurt and the families and friends of those who have passed or are injured. We feel their pain and the horror of an innocent and beautiful event being violated. Most people had beautiful intentions and ran for a cause. It was a positive event, filled with loving support, friends and families cheering on the runners; until it got disrupted by violence.

Who did it? Who would do such a thing? And why?

Whoever did it is not in a healthy place. No human who has a happy heart and a peaceful mind would cause harm to others, period. Anybody who causes harm to another Being is mentally, emotionally and spiritually in the wrong place and disconnected from the “right” place. The amount of suffering has never been greater on our planet. From my spiritual perspective of Oneness consciousness, it is this “disconnect” that causes the pain in the first place.

Science is confirming and proving to us that we are One! We are energetically interconnected and literally One. Any harm or negativity we cause or wish upon another, we cause and wish upon ourselves. The time has come to think as One, to act as One and to feel as One. It is necessary to teach this Oneness because modern science and spirituality are One and teaching us new truths. (Not really new but new to most Humans). It is up to us to listen and learn; and to use it positively.

Therefore we must extend our Love and Light wishes not only to the ones who were hurt, suffering and shocked but also to the ones who did it. We have to stop the cycle of drama, violence, blame, hatred, fear and focus on love.

Only love heals! Love is the only answer.

“May their pain and suffering be healed. May they find peace and connection to their light.”

Lets stand as One in Healing and Love. We are the masses, we hold the strength and the power in numbers; If we only focus on our Oneness, Love and Light as strength. Science is confirming that we create our reality and that what we focus on manifests. This is the only way we will transcend the fear/negativity into love and light experience on our beloved planet.

It is a challenging shift for us Humans because this perspective seems so “far out”. I invite you to sit with it, resonate with it. Research quantum physics. Find the truth! Do not stay stuck in fear and drama. Move beyond it, rise above. The time has come.

Blessings, Love and Light to all Beings.

Namaste,

Britta

About Our Guest

Britta Dubbels is a spiritual director, intuitive healer and vibrational energy worker who has assisted hundreds of clients transition through challenging life circumstances to embrace change and live more empowered, compassionate lives. Fueled by a deep connection and love for people, she runs a thriving practice from her home in Long Island, New York, where she works with clients from around the world. When she is not counseling, she writes constantly for her blog, and is preparing to publish her first book, an extraordinary guide for connecting to the authentic self titled, “Simply Conscious.”

“Feel, don’t think”

Britta knows life can be messy. People are drawn to her great warmth, ease and “down to earth” personality. She doesn’t wear robes or live on top of a mountain. She was born in a small town in Germany and was raised mostly by her grandmother who was something of a mystic and could work magic with plants and herbs. Britta’s constant companions were her spirit guides. She is sorry to tell you that her guides didn’t come to her in a near-death experience or bizarre vision, although it would have made for a good story. They were, she says, quite simply, “there.” Fortunately, Britta’s Grandmother understood, and she was allowed to nurture her spiritual side just as naturally as her A, B, C’s. Miraculous events seemed “normal” to Britta. It was human suffering that was more difficult to understand …

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Show Summary * Segment 4: Ho-oponopono Prayer to Heal Trauma: A special invocation of the Hawaiian Gods and a prayer to heal any traumas or challenges in your life. * Link to 45 min show

About our Guest Harry Uhane Jim, Kahuna, healer, teacher. Author of WISE SECRETS OF ALOHA. He was born and raised on Kauai, Hawaii. He has been doing the work for many years, and has been trained in the traditional apprentice style by the best known native Kahuna’s of the last 7 decades-most gone now. His presentations carry authenticity and are known for unveiling profound ancient truths with wit and laughter. He evokes the Hawaiian experience of healing by raising your vibration.

Harry father of 5 teaches, works and lives with his wife Sila in Puna on the Big Island of Hawaii. In the last 8 years he and his family have been living in Clarence, New York. He lectured for Kamehameha Schools, Buffalo State College,Trocare College, Windemere Institute of Healing (Decorah, Iowa), Lilydale Assembly, Buffalo Psychiatric, Beebe Medical Center in Lewes, DE. Moravian Theological Seminary in Bethlehem, PA.,

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Show Summary * Segment 3: Circle Leadership: Why do circles beat triangles? Over time, how have pyramid based societies weaken our communities and weaken our self-reliance? CJ challenges the idea of circles being achievable in a large country and addresses the downsides of consensus based management. * Link to Segment 4: Ho-oponopono Prayer to Heal Trauma: A special invocation of the Hawaiin gods through a prayer to heal any traumas or challenges in your life. * Link to Full 45 min

About our Guest Harry Uhane Jim, Kahuna, healer, teacher. Author of WISE SECRETS OF ALOHA. He was born and raised on Kauai, Hawaii. He has been doing the work for many years, and has been trained in the traditional apprentice style by the best known native Kahuna’s of the last 7 decades-most gone now. His presentations carry authenticity and are known for unveiling profound ancient truths with wit and laughter. He evokes the Hawaiian experience of healing by raising your vibration.

Harry father of 5 teaches, works and lives with his wife Sila in Puna on the Big Island of Hawaii. In the last 8 years he and his family have been living in Clarence, New York. He lectured for Kamehameha Schools, Buffalo State College,Trocare College, Windemere Institute of Healing (Decorah, Iowa), Lilydale Assembly, Buffalo Psychiatric, Beebe Medical Center in Lewes, DE. Moravian Theological Seminary in Bethlehem, PA.,

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Show Summary * Segment 2: Creating Balanced Abundance- Harry Uhane Jim talks about how the caveman mentality of rubbing sticks to create energy is a control-based masculine approach and why it no longer works. Harry offers how Hawaiins and he has moved to a more sustainable community-oriented approach to sustainability. * Link Segment 3: Circle Leadership: Why do circles beat triangles? Over time, how have pyramid based societies weaken our communities and weaken our self-reliance? CJ challenges the idea of circles being achievable in a large country and addresses the downsides of consensus based management. * Link to Full Segment

About our Guest Harry Uhane Jim, Kahuna, healer, teacher. Author of WISE SECRETS OF ALOHA. He was born and raised on Kauai, Hawaii. He has been doing the work for many years, and has been trained in the traditional apprentice style by the best known native Kahuna’s of the last 7 decades-most gone now. His presentations carry authenticity and are known for unveiling profound ancient truths with wit and laughter. He evokes the Hawaiian experience of healing by raising your vibration.

Harry father of 5 teaches, works and lives with his wife Sila in Puna on the Big Island of Hawaii. In the last 8 years he and his family have been living in Clarence, New York. He lectured for Kamehameha Schools, Buffalo State College,Trocare College, Windemere Institute of Healing (Decorah, Iowa), Lilydale Assembly, Buffalo Psychiatric, Beebe Medical Center in Lewes, DE. Moravian Theological Seminary in Bethlehem, PA.,

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Show Summary * Segment 1: Divine Feminine – Harry discusses how the end of male tyranny is ending and a new era of women dominated energies will emerge. Harry Uhane Jim offers why he thinks a balance of male-female energy is better than our current mix of male-female energies. How can planting a community garden can start the shift towards balance? * Link to Segment 2: Creating Balanced Abundance- Harry Uhane Jim talks about how the caveman mentality of rubbing sticks to create energy is a control-based masculine approach and why it no longer works. Harry offers how Hawaiins and he has moved to a more sustainable community-oriented approach to sustainability. * Link to Full Segment

About our Guest Harry Uhane Jim, Kahuna, healer, teacher. Author of WISE SECRETS OF ALOHA. He was born and raised on Kauai, Hawaii. He has been doing the work for many years, and has been trained in the traditional apprentice style by the best known native Kahuna’s of the last 7 decades-most gone now. His presentations carry authenticity and are known for unveiling profound ancient truths with wit and laughter. He evokes the Hawaiian experience of healing by raising your vibration.

Harry father of 5 teaches, works and lives with his wife Sila in Puna on the Big Island of Hawaii. In the last 8 years he and his family have been living in Clarence, New York. He lectured for Kamehameha Schools, Buffalo State College,Trocare College, Windemere Institute of Healing (Decorah, Iowa), Lilydale Assembly, Buffalo Psychiatric, Beebe Medical Center in Lewes, DE. Moravian Theological Seminary in Bethlehem, PA.,

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Show Summary Shepherd discusses how to open the inner door to your heart and discern whether to open or close the outer doors of your heart. In this segment we talk about what it means to open the inner doors of your heart to love, truth, and beauty, and love others unconditionally. We’ll discuss how to manage our own feelings of malaise, revenge, betrayal, and anger when in the presence of difficult people.

“Love comes into your experience primarily through the inner door of your heart.”- Shepherd Hoodwin, Loving from Your Soul: Creating Powerful Relationships –Shepherd Hoodwin, Loving from Your Soul: Creating Powerful Relationships

Link to 45 min show

About our Guest Shepherd Hoodwin is a channel who specializes in the Michael teachings about how we set up our lifetimes. He is also an intuitive and workshop leaders who does past-life readings and therapy, mediumship, animal communications, counseling, and channel coaching (teaching others to channel).

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Show Summary In this segment we talk about loving others unconditionally as a means of self-love and how to immerse ourselves in positive activities, whether its rest, play, contemplation time as an act of self-love.

“When you are loving yourself, you are loving others. Love does not differentiate between the love you give yourself and the love you give others. Loving yourself is not self-centered. If you do what you truly love to do, you are in harmony with the whole. Loving yourself has vast ramifications. It is not simply a way to increase your effectiveness and enjoyment; it is your primary means of coming to know the force that activates the universe.” – Shepherd Hoodwin, Loving from Your Soul: Creating Powerful Relationships

Link to 45 min show

About our Guest Shepherd Hoodwin is a channel who specializes in the Michael teachings about how we set up our lifetimes. He is also an intuitive and workshop leaders who does past-life readings and therapy, mediumship, animal communications, counseling, and channel coaching (teaching others to channel).

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Show Summary Everyone has their own way of loving. My favorite book on this is 5 Love Languages, which suggests that our love style is based on what we learned from our childhood and is based on demonstrating love through affirmation (positive praise), acts of service (e.g.- doing someone’s laundry), gifts, quality time, or physical touch. In this segment, Shepherd provides some concrete stories that help you accept the love you get in whatever package it comes in versus only accepting love that is packaged in the way we want it. For example, Shephard uses the example of a father that never says “I Love you”, but works hard at his form of love, which is being a good provider.

Link to 45 min show

| LOVING FROM YOUR SOUL Creating Powerful Relationships Channeled from Michael by Shepherd Hoodwin |

There is much new awareness that it is necessary to love yourself in order to love others. What is the nature of loving yourself? There are many different ways of seeing this: treating yourself as you would treat someone you highly respect and admire; giving yourself time for things that matter most to you; eating your food with affection, so that the love you give the food then goes into your body; and so forth.

Loving yourself, however, goes beyond such things. Loving is a unified experience that does not cut off any portion of your reality. When you are loving yourself, you are loving others. When you are loving others, you are loving yourself. When you are having joy in what you are doing, you are giving joy to the world–there is no separation between you and the world. If you have been holding back from treating yourself well for fear that doing so would detract from more important things, you are not seeing the connection between what you do for yourself and your contribution to the rest of what is. When you caress yourself, you are immediately giving the planet a warm and vitalizing touch; you are the planet. When you shout with glee, you release a ripple of color that the stars witness with a sense of gladness; you are the stars, the witness to your own joy. When you truly love yourself or love in any way, you leave a faint but unmistakable aroma of magic in your wake. Is this not at least as great a contribution to humanity as accomplishing item number ten on your “to do” list?

Any act of love is a step in the evolution of life. Love does not differentiate between the love you give yourself and the love you give others. Loving yourself is not self-centered. If you truly love yourself, your actions do not exclude others’ well-being. Your true self-interest includes what is best for everyone. If you do what you truly love to do, you are in harmony with the whole.

Love is. You cannot honor the wisdom of the ages without coming to love. You cannot love others without loving yourself. You cannot love yourself without loving others. You cannot express love without being love. You are love, so that is not a problem.

“What about the parts of me that do not feel loving?” you may ask. “What about my anger toward my boss, my mate, or my neighbors?” The answer is simple: Love your anger. Love those who have perhaps trespassed against you, and love the force in you that seeks to protect you from further trespass or to impel you to appropriate action. Love it all.

Loving yourself has vast ramifications. It is not simply a way to increase your effectiveness and enjoyment; it is your primary means of coming to know the force that activates the universe.

About our Guest Shepherd Hoodwin is a channel who specializes in the Michael teachings about how we set up our lifetimes. He is also an intuitive and workshop leaders who does past-life readings and therapy, mediumship, animal communications, counseling, and channel coaching (teaching others to channel).

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Show Summary Anger is my friend (see show on Anger). It didn’t start off that way, but over time I have learned to face my anger and learn from it. Shepherd Hoodwin described it perfectly in this interview when he said that everything in life, including learning from your anger, is a spiritual practice. Anger is power coming through you, a life force and energy, that arises when you have to deal with either a real threat (a robber in your house) or a perceived threat, which Shepherd aptly described as baggage anger. Baggage anger is your own anger that you project to another person due to an unresolved issue in your past. The spiritual practice happens when you can gain distance from your emotional reaction to gauge its appropriateness. My favorite quote from the book is below because to me it nails both self-love and love to others.

“If you find yourself either attacking others or trying to be loving by repressing your feelings, you have not yet accurately perceived Love. … Love is in the middle, where there is not need for repression or inappropriate expression. Love your anger. Love it all”

— Shepherd Hoodwin, Loving from Your Soul: Creating Powerful Relationships

Link to 45 min show

About our Guest Shepherd Hoodwin is a channel who specializes in the Michael teachings about how we set up our lifetimes. He is also an intuitive and workshop leaders who does past-life readings and therapy, mediumship, animal communications, counseling, and channel coaching (teaching others to channel).

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How can you be more conscious of the world you are creating with the $ you spend every day? Money is power. And wherever large amounts of money collect, new centers of power form. Today, modern corporations have amassed a ton of power and our destinies are increasingly in their hands. Unfortunately, unlike politicians these new power centers are not democracies and we don’t vote for their corporate polices. Are you happy with the outcomes corporations have created? If not, then you have a voice and a vote through your spending. Each year the average American family spends around $22,000 each year on goods and services – that’s 22,000 votes every year for the kind of world you want to live in. Join us as we talk to Dr. Ellis Jones, author of the award-winning author of The Better World Shopping Guide and the c0-author of The Better World Handboook. If you can’t listen live this Wed at 1:00-2:00PST make sure to subscribe by email (see right sidebar), “friend us” on Facebook to listen to the show at your convenience, or subscribe to “Fire it UP with CJ” via iTunes.

Show Summary * Link to Segment 1: What if you could make a difference in the world by simply buying gas at a different station? Professor Ellis Jones explains why he thinks changing your purchase behavior does make a difference in the world and why buying with consciousness is just as important as voting each year during political elections. * Link to Segment 2: What does it mean to be a good consumer and how is it related to being a good citizen? Why does a thriving democracy depend on each citizen buying products and services from companies that behave responsibly? * Link to Segment 3: Hear Professor Ellis Jones offer his thoughts on what constitutes a “good” company and whether he thinks companies really listen to consumers. * Link to Segment 4: It’s so hard to make smart, responsible choices at the store. Professor Ellis Jones offers why The Better World Handbook is a trusted source to use in making your purchases. Professor Ellis explains why going to Shell versus Exxon can be one simple change you can make to change the world. He offers his top 3 changes you can make and several good companies you should consider buying from.

Blog Post from our Guest

the.idea – voting with your wallet BETTER WORLD SHOPPER is a site dedicated to providing people with a comprehensive, up-to-date, reliable account of the social and environmental responsibility of every company on the planet AND making it available in practical forms that individuals can use in their everyday lives. Coming out of more than 5 years of intensive research, this work is based on a comprehensive database of over 1000 companies and utilizes 25+ reliable sources of data to cover everything from the environment to human rights, community development to animal protection.

5 key.issues

HUMAN RIGHTS: sweatshops, 3rd world community exploitation, international health issues, divestment, child labor, code of conduct.
THE ENVIRONMENT: global warming, rainforest destruction, pollution, recycling, renewable energy, greenwashing, toxic waste, eco-innovations, illegal dumping, sustainable farming.
ANIMAL PROTECTION: factory farming, animal testing, humane treatment, wild animal habitat.
COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT: family farms, local business support, volunteer efforts, sustainable growth, philanthropic donations, nonprofit alliances, establishing foundations.
SOCIAL JUSTICE : fair wages, fatalities, union busting efforts, health & safety records, discrimination based on: race, gender, age, ability, religion, sexuality, ethnicity.

About Our Guest Since receiving his doctoral degree in sociology from the University of Colorado, Boulder, Ellis Jones has focused all of his energies on bridging the gap between academics, activists and the average citizen. A scholar of social responsibility, global citizenship and everyday activism, Dr. Jones continues to teach and give presentations across the country on how to turn lofty ideals into practical actions. His other works include The Better World Handbook (winner of Sprituality & Health’s Best Book of the Year Award for 2001 under the category of Hope) and the book version of this website (which has now sold over 100,000 copies), The Better World Shopping Guide. He has won numerous awards for his work in the classroom and currently teaches in the department of sociology and anthropology at Holy Cross College in Worcester, MA.

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Segment 4: Will suggests that plants do have consciousness too and he explains why he’s ok with eating conscious plants anyways.
Link to Full segment

About our Guest As part of my mission to understand my culture more deeply, I studied and received an M.A. degree in Humanities at San Francisco State University, and then went on to the University of California, Berkeley, for my Ph.D. My doctoral dissertation at Berkeley focused on educating intuition and altruism in adults, and I subsequently taught a wide variety of college courses in philosophy, religion, mythology, humanities, music, literature, history, writing, and creativity. After this, I began traveling as a lecturer and concert pianist, and have now created eight CD albums of original piano music

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Segment 3: Why are Vegans so angry? Will shares how he’s been able to make peace with the meat-eating world around him by realizing that achieving peace is an inside job. Will discusses how he has moved form a place of judging and blaming and how our societal norms about eating are at the heart of why we eat what we eat.
Link to Segment 4: Will suggests that plants do have consciousness too and he explains why he’s ok with eating plants anyways.

About our Guest As part of my mission to understand my culture more deeply, I studied and received an M.A. degree in Humanities at San Francisco State University, and then went on to the University of California, Berkeley, for my Ph.D. My doctoral dissertation at Berkeley focused on educating intuition and altruism in adults, and I subsequently taught a wide variety of college courses in philosophy, religion, mythology, humanities, music, literature, history, writing, and creativity. After this, I began traveling as a lecturer and concert pianist, and have now created eight CD albums of original piano music

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Segment 2: In the 70’s, Dr. Will Tuttle was broke, disillusioned by materialism and consumerism, and looking for life’s answers. He decided to take a spiritual pilgrimage to California where folks where people were able to achieve a higher level of consciousness. Will shares his story about his spiritual journey that led him to being a Zen monk, and his current work.
Link to Segment 3: Why are Vegans so angry? Will shares how he’s been able to make peace with the meat-eating world around him by realizing that achieving peace is an inside job. Will discusses how he has moved form a place of judging and blaming and how our societal norms about eating are at the heart of why we eat what we eat.

About our Guest As part of my mission to understand my culture more deeply, I studied and received an M.A. degree in Humanities at San Francisco State University, and then went on to the University of California, Berkeley, for my Ph.D. My doctoral dissertation at Berkeley focused on educating intuition and altruism in adults, and I subsequently taught a wide variety of college courses in philosophy, religion, mythology, humanities, music, literature, history, writing, and creativity. After this, I began traveling as a lecturer and concert pianist, and have now created eight CD albums of original piano music

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Show Summary + Segment 1: Dr. Will Tuttle, Author of Amazon’s #1 best seller, The World Peace Diet offers shocking statistics on the ways we continue to effect the environment with our food choices and how we can work ourselves out of our food trance. Learn more about why being a vegan protects the planet.

Link to Segment 2: In the 70′s, Dr. Will Tuttle was broke, disillusioned by materialism and consumerism, and looking for life’s answers. He decided to take a spiritual pilgrimage to California where folks where people were able to achieve a higher level of consciousness. Will shares his story about his spiritual journey that led him to being a Zen monk, and his current work.

About our Guest As part of my mission to understand my culture more deeply, I studied and received an M.A. degree in Humanities at San Francisco State University, and then went on to the University of California, Berkeley, for my Ph.D. My doctoral dissertation at Berkeley focused on educating intuition and altruism in adults, and I subsequently taught a wide variety of college courses in philosophy, religion, mythology, humanities, music, literature, history, writing, and creativity. After this, I began traveling as a lecturer and concert pianist, and have now created eight CD albums of original piano music.

The post Part 1 of 2: Vegan- Positive impacts on the environment? appeared first on Fireitupwithcj.

World Peace Diet: Eating for Spiritual Health and Social Harmony

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The circle culture,… and the rise to balance in the feminine. Native hawaiian culture, and it’s healing practice of ku hina. Join us for a fun and riveting show with one of my all time favorites. Make sure to type your email and subscribe to our newsletter to hear the interview if you can’t make it this Wed, or “like” us on Facebook.

Interview with Harry Uhane Jim LINK TO SHOW

Link to Segment 1: Divine Feminine – Harry discusses how the end of male tyranny is ending and a new era of women dominated energies will emerge. Harry Uhane Jim offers why he thinks a balance of male-female energy is better than our current mix of male-female energies. How can planting a community garden can start the shift towards balance?
Link to Segment 2: Creating Balanced Abundance– Harry Uhane Jim talks about how the caveman mentality of rubbing sticks to create energy is a control-based masculine approach and why it no longer works. Harry offers how Hawaiins and he has moved to a more sustainable community-oriented approach to sustainability.
Link to Segment 3: Circle Leadership: Why do circles beat triangles? Over time, how have pyramid based societies weaken our communities and weaken our self-reliance? CJ challenges the idea of circles being achievable in a large country and addresses the downsides of consensus based management.
Link to Segment 4: Ho-oponopono Prayer to Heal Trauma: A special invocation of the Hawaiin gods through a prayer to heal any traumas or challenges in your life.

Kahuana, Healer, teacher, and Author Harry Uhane Jim Harry Uhane Jim, Kahuna, healer, teacher. Author of WISE SECRETS OF ALOHA. He was born and raised on Kauai, Hawaii. He has been doing the work for many years, and has been trained in the traditional apprentice style by the best known native Kahuna’s of the last 7 decades-most gone now. His presentations carry authenticity and are known for unveiling profound ancient truths with wit and laughter. He evokes the Hawaiian experience of healing by raising your vibration.

Harry father of 5 teaches, works and lives with his wife Sila in Puna on the Big Island of Hawaii. In the last 8 years he and his family have been living in Clarence, New York. He lectured for Kamehameha Schools, Buffalo State College,Trocare College, Windemere Institute of Healing (Decorah, Iowa), Lilydale Assembly, Buffalo Psychiatric, Beebe Medical Center in Lewes, DE. Moravian Theological Seminary in Bethlehem, PA., Heartspire Massage School in Olympia WA., as well as many bodywork and healing organizations throughout the United States and Canada.

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Eileen Quigley, Director of the New Energy Cities (NEC) Program in Seattle, offers an inspirational personal story that propelled her from the corporate world to her current life’s path. Eileen makes a strong case for how our focus on climate change not only creates a healthier planet with clean air and water, but also a thriving economy. Listen to full 45 minute show

About our Guest Eileen V. Quigley directs the New Energy Cities (NEC) program at Climate Solutions, which works with small- to medium-sized Northwest communities to reduce carbon emissions through climate-smart, clean energy solutions in deep energy efficiency, renewable energy, eco-mobility, and smart grid technology.

Eileen is an expert in city-led clean energy innovation and co-author of Powering the New Energy Future from the Ground Up: Priorities in City-Led Energy Innovation, a studyof 34 American cities that are demonstrating how communities with fewer than 250,000 residents are reducing their dependence upon fossil fuels for energy. She regularly speaks and blogsabout how communities are pursuing a cleaner, carbon-neutral future, and co-writes theNew Energy Cities Weekly Wrap.

Prior to joining Climate Solutions in 2009, Eileen ran RealNetworks’ Nonprofit Affairs Division, which helped nonprofit organizations use the Internet for social change. She has been a civic leader in the Puget Sound since 1988, having run the Municipal League of King County for four years and served on numerous Puget Sound nonprofit boards and civic taskforces. She edited a quarterly journal of public policy, economics, and culture for the Pacific Northwest and Western Canada for three years and spent five years as a magazine and newspaper journalist in Washington, DC and New York, NY, prior to moving to the Pacific Northwest in 1988.

Eileen received her Master of Science in Journalism from Columbia University in 1983 and her Bachelor of Arts in Literature from Yale University in 1980.

Twitter: @evquigley.

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Eileen Quigley, Director of the New Energy Cities (NEC) Program in Seattle, shares specific examples of national and Northwest small- to medium-sized cities that are leading the way in clean energy innovation and climate change. Eileen demystifies and breaks down the practical steps that cities, like the City of Issaquah, WA can make to achieve aggressive greenhouse gas emission reduction targets. Listen to 45 min Episode

About our Guest Eileen V. Quigley directs the New Energy Cities (NEC) program at Climate Solutions, which works with small- to medium-sized Northwest communities to reduce carbon emissions through climate-smart, clean energy solutions in deep energy efficiency, renewable energy, eco-mobility, and smart grid technology.

Eileen is an expert in city-led clean energy innovation and co-author of Powering the New Energy Future from the Ground Up: Priorities in City-Led Energy Innovation, a studyof 34 American cities that are demonstrating how communities with fewer than 250,000 residents are reducing their dependence upon fossil fuels for energy. She regularly speaks and blogsabout how communities are pursuing a cleaner, carbon-neutral future, and co-writes theNew Energy Cities Weekly Wrap.

Prior to joining Climate Solutions in 2009, Eileen ran RealNetworks’ Nonprofit Affairs Division, which helped nonprofit organizations use the Internet for social change. She has been a civic leader in the Puget Sound since 1988, having run the Municipal League of King County for four years and served on numerous Puget Sound nonprofit boards and civic taskforces. She edited a quarterly journal of public policy, economics, and culture for the Pacific Northwest and Western Canada for three years and spent five years as a magazine and newspaper journalist in Washington, DC and New York, NY, prior to moving to the Pacific Northwest in 1988.

Eileen received her Master of Science in Journalism from Columbia University in 1983 and her Bachelor of Arts in Literature from Yale University in 1980.

Twitter: @evquigley.

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Eileen Quigley, Director of the New Energy Cities (NEC) Program in Seattle, explains why cities are ground zero in the battle for decreasing greenhouse gas emissions because they emit 70 percent of all global emissions and also are incubators of innovation. . Eileen shares the four critical success factors for cities wanting to make a difference in their communities on climate change. Listen to Full 45 min Episode

Full Segment

About our Guest Eileen V. Quigley directs the New Energy Cities (NEC) program at Climate Solutions, which works with small- to medium-sized Northwest communities to reduce carbon emissions through climate-smart, clean energy solutions in deep energy efficiency, renewable energy, eco-mobility, and smart grid technology.

Eileen is an expert in city-led clean energy innovation and co-author of Powering the New Energy Future from the Ground Up: Priorities in City-Led Energy Innovation, a studyof 34 American cities that are demonstrating how communities with fewer than 250,000 residents are reducing their dependence upon fossil fuels for energy. She regularly speaks and blogsabout how communities are pursuing a cleaner, carbon-neutral future, and co-writes theNew Energy Cities Weekly Wrap.

Prior to joining Climate Solutions in 2009, Eileen ran RealNetworks’ Nonprofit Affairs Division, which helped nonprofit organizations use the Internet for social change. She has been a civic leader in the Puget Sound since 1988, having run the Municipal League of King County for four years and served on numerous Puget Sound nonprofit boards and civic taskforces. She edited a quarterly journal of public policy, economics, and culture for the Pacific Northwest and Western Canada for three years and spent five years as a magazine and newspaper journalist in Washington, DC and New York, NY, prior to moving to the Pacific Northwest in 1988.

Eileen received her Master of Science in Journalism from Columbia University in 1983 and her Bachelor of Arts in Literature from Yale University in 1980.

Twitter: @evquigley.

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Eileen Quigley, Director of the New Energy Cities Program in Seattle, talks about what President Obama could do to carry out his clear 2013 State of the Union statement that Americans must respond to the threat of climate change and lead the transition to the clean energy economy. Eileen offers the best case we could hope for on climate change by the end of Obama’s term, and describes the exciting potential that exists on the West Coast ( CA, WA, and Ore) to make a huge regional impact on carbon emissions. Listen to entire 45 min show.

About our Guest Eileen V. Quigley directs the New Energy Cities (NEC) program at Climate Solutions, which works with small- to medium-sized Northwest communities to reduce carbon emissions through climate-smart, clean energy solutions in deep energy efficiency, renewable energy, eco-mobility, and smart grid technology.

Eileen is an expert in city-led clean energy innovation and co-author of Powering the New Energy Future from the Ground Up: Priorities in City-Led Energy Innovation, a studyof 34 American cities that are demonstrating how communities with fewer than 250,000 residents are reducing their dependence upon fossil fuels for energy. She regularly speaks and blogsabout how communities are pursuing a cleaner, carbon-neutral future, and co-writes theNew Energy Cities Weekly Wrap.

Prior to joining Climate Solutions in 2009, Eileen ran RealNetworks’ Nonprofit Affairs Division, which helped nonprofit organizations use the Internet for social change. She has been a civic leader in the Puget Sound since 1988, having run the Municipal League of King County for four years and served on numerous Puget Sound nonprofit boards and civic taskforces. She edited a quarterly journal of public policy, economics, and culture for the Pacific Northwest and Western Canada for three years and spent five years as a magazine and newspaper journalist in Washington, DC and New York, NY, prior to moving to the Pacific Northwest in 1988.

Eileen received her Master of Science in Journalism from Columbia University in 1983 and her Bachelor of Arts in Literature from Yale University in 1980.

Twitter: @evquigley.

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Every day we walk through the grocery store mindlessly throwing things into our grocery cart. What would it be like if we made our grocery shopping an extension of our meditation. Now, what happens if we really start thinking about where the food in that plastic wrapping came from, what it took to get to your table, and the impact it our food has our environment ? What would it be like if we cooked with more intention or got more involved with growing our own food? Our guest, Dr. Will Tuttle, discusses the next level of our conscious evolution with our food choices on April 10th from 1:00-2:00PST. Make sure to join us live on Wed’s from 1:00-2:00PST. If you can’t’ make the live show, then make sure to subscribe (see right side), like us on Facebook, or signing up for a show on iTunes.

Show Summary

Segment 1: Dr. Will Tuttle, Author of Amazon’s #1 best seller, The World Peace Diet offers shocking statistics on the ways we continue to effect the environment with our food choices and how we can work ourselves out of our food trance.
Segment 2: In the 70’s, Dr. Will Tuttle was broke, disillusioned by materialism and consumerism, and looking for life’s answers. He decided to take a spiritual pilgrimage to California where folks where people were able to achieve a higher level of consciousness. Will shares his story about his spiritual journey that led him to being a Zen monk, and his current work.
Segment 3: Why are Vegans so angry? Will shares how he’s been able to make peace with the meat-eating world around him by realizing that achieving peace is an inside job. Will discusses how he has moved form a place of judging and blaming and how our societal norms about eating are at the heart of why we eat what we eat.
Segment 4: Will suggests that plants do have consciousness too and he explains why he’s ok with eating plants anyways.
Also check out: http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/2012/02/09/feb-9-the-vegan-next-door-with-sara-taylor/

About our Guest As part of my mission to understand my culture more deeply, I studied and received an M.A. degree in Humanities at San Francisco State University, and then went on to the University of California, Berkeley, for my Ph.D. My doctoral dissertation at Berkeley focused on educating intuition and altruism in adults, and I subsequently taught a wide variety of college courses in philosophy, religion, mythology, humanities, music, literature, history, writing, and creativity. After this, I began traveling as a lecturer and concert pianist, and have now created eight CD albums of original piano music.

Links * http://www.worldpeacediet.com/ * Upcoming events: http://www.worldpeacediet.com/

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Learn about the New Energy Cities program that works with small- to medium-sized Northwest communities to foster laboratories of innovative, replicable city-led climate change solutions for significant greenhouse gas emission (GHG) reduction and increased carbon storage in urban settings. The goal of the New Energy Cities program is to help a growing family of leaders and staffs of small- to medium-sized Northwest cities succeed in building low-carbon, climate-smart communities.

Show Summary Listen to Segment 1 – National update on Climate Change (8 min)

Listen to Segment 2: 4 Critical Success Factors for cities that want to impact climate change.

Listen to Segment 3: Practical steps cities can be part of the solution for climate change.

Listen to Segment 4: What you can do to impact climate change?

Blog Post

On the Frontlines of City-Led Climate Solutions by Eileen V. Quigley New Energy Cities works with city and community leaders to push the envelope on carbon-reduction strategies in an attempt to answer a fundamental and difficult question: how do cities grow with strong economies while reducing their carbon footprints? As 2013 gets underway, the United States continues to operate without national climate or energy policies, nor national carbon pricing. Meanwhile, the rate of sea-level rise in the past decades is far greater than projected, Arctic Ocean ice is disappearing much faster than had been forecast, and 2012 proved to be the hottest year on record.

In the absence of national leadership, the imperative for local action to significantly reduce carbon emissions could not possibly be more urgent.

Climate Solutions’ New Energy Cities team works on the frontlines of city-led climate and clean energy innovation, assisting small- to medium-sized Northwest communities to significantly reduce carbon emissions by adopting climate-smart, clean energy solutions in eco-mobility, renewable energy, highly efficient, intelligent buildings, and smart grid technology.

We help city and community leaders push the envelope on carbon-reduction strategies in an attempt to answer a fundamental and difficult question: how do cities grow with strong economies while reducing their carbon footprints?

In order for us to help cities answer this question we take a systems approach. We deliver sustainable energy plans that look at both the broad strategies that must be employed to reach long-term carbon-reduction, as well as specific tactics that must roll up to the overall targets.

In 2013, we have three strategic focus areas: cluster cities, climate and clean energy solutions how-to, and robust communications.

Cluster Cities: We will develop two separate clusters of cities, one in the Puget Sound region, building upon our 2012 work developing carbon calculations and emissions projections for the City of Issaquah, as well as strategies to attain carbon reduction in the built environment, transportation, waste/water management, and carbon storage.

The second cluster will be in Oregon and will work in conjunction with both Clean Energy Works Oregon, as well as the Oregon Governor’s Office, which in its 10-Year Energy Action Plan has articulated the desire to promote the sustainability and carbon reduction efforts of “cutting-edge communities.”

The desired outcome of our cluster strategy is twofold: (1) communities in Washington and Oregon developing and implementing ambitious carbon-reduction and carbon-storage strategies related to the built environment, transportation, waste and water management and, (2) support for statewide climate efforts in Washington and Oregon with an eye toward building regional support for climate and clean energy solutions.

Climate and Clean Energy Solutions How-To: With this strategy we aim to translate what we learn and test with our cluster strategy into practical clean energy how-to guides for cities that can be useful to communities throughout the country.

A key aspect of this work is delineating: 1) what cities do to create sustainable energy plans that is generic and therefore easily replicable, and 2) what is tailored, and therefore is not easily replicated and requires customization.

A second key component is the focus we are placing on threading the needle with utilities, which means understanding what the barriers are to utility innovation with energy efficiency, renewable energy, and smart grid deployment, and figuring out how to address them with key utility players.

A third component is drilling down on the clean energy financing strategies that actually work versus those that are abstract and waiting to be tested.

The desired outcome with our climate solutions how-to work is proof that city-led climate and clean energy solutions are working and can be financed and scaled.

Robust Communications: All of our 2013 work has a significant communications component because we know that the key to success is replication and the key to replication is figuring out how to communicate what is really happening with clean energy innovation.

This presents a challenge because this is such a dynamic field, so staying on top of what works is hard, but we have been in this arena long enough now that we know who the key innovators are and we think we know what works.

Our strategic communications approach requires staying current on a weekly basis with current trends, which we accomplish by writing our Weekly Wrap ensuring that we are extrapolating our learning by writing bi-weekly blogs; making sure we are communicating to our base, which we do by sending out our bi-monthly newsletter; and making sure we are compiling and synthesizing our work by developing our clean energy how-to guides.

The desired outcome for our communications strategy is evidence that the case studies, reports, webinars, conferences, blogs, and hands-on work that the New Energy Cities team engages in result in cities replicating climate solutions.

About our Guest Eileen V. Quigley directs the New Energy Cities (NEC) program at Climate Solutions, which works with small- to medium-sized Northwest communities to reduce carbon emissions through climate-smart, clean energy solutions in deep energy efficiency, renewable energy, eco-mobility, and smart grid technology.

Eileen is an expert in city-led clean energy innovation and co-author of Powering the New Energy Future from the Ground Up: Priorities in City-Led Energy Innovation, a studyof 34 American cities that are demonstrating how communities with fewer than 250,000 residents are reducing their dependence upon fossil fuels for energy. She regularly speaks and blogsabout how communities are pursuing a cleaner, carbon-neutral future, and co-writes theNew Energy Cities Weekly Wrap.

Prior to joining Climate Solutions in 2009, Eileen ran RealNetworks’ Nonprofit Affairs Division, which helped nonprofit organizations use the Internet for social change. She has been a civic leader in the Puget Sound since 1988, having run the Municipal League of King County for four years and served on numerous Puget Sound nonprofit boards and civic taskforces. She edited a quarterly journal of public policy, economics, and culture for the Pacific Northwest and Western Canada for three years and spent five years as a magazine and newspaper journalist in Washington, DC and New York, NY, prior to moving to the Pacific Northwest in 1988.

Eileen received her Master of Science in Journalism from Columbia University in 1983 and her Bachelor of Arts in Literature from Yale University in 1980.

Twitter: @evquigley.

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Youth violence prevention leader Eleuthera Lisch talks about Dr. Joseph E. Marshall, Jr’s Alive and Free program in the YMCA of Greater Seattle. Join us as Eleuthera shares her 13 years of experience working with gang members and helps us gain a better awareness and understanding of what makes all of us susceptible to catching the disease of violence. While most of us can feel compassion and empathy for victims of violence, we’ll discuss how we can tune into these emotions for the perpetrators?

Segment 1 (8 min)

Segment 2 (6 min)

Ted X Video About our Guest Eleuthera Lisch, Director and Trainer -Director of the Alive and Free Outreach Network, Eleuthera Lisch had been with the YMCA of Greater Seattle for 13 years, developing and implementing youth violence prevention and gang intervention programs. Her 18 year work with high risk and offender youth intersects the worlds of education, judiciary, law enforcement and rehabilitation. A sought-after public speaker and trainer, she has consulted on similar programs in Los Angeles, Baltimore, New Zealand and South Africa.

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Anthony Lawlor and CJ discuss how we navigate the ever-shifting sea of life. This episode is a reminder that “the only thing permanent is impermanence”. The blog post below reminds us to rest in the gap that happens with the transition. In the first segment, Anthony Lawlor discusses how he creatively works as an architect to navigate his client’s need for both structure/function and something more magical that incorporate’s a client’s soulful expression. If you want to listen to more shows like this, make sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes or “like” the Fire it Up with CJ page where we’ll post the final show. Link to full segment.

BLOG POST by our guest (Anthony Lawlor) Facing Emptiness: Seeing through my mind’s compulsion to define things Over time, my explorations in living consciously have brought me to indefinable territory. It is a realm of less and less boundaries with more and more spacious silence. Since definitions and understanding is what my mind lives for, it sees this spacious silence as emptiness. When I face what my mind calls emptiness and look closely, I see through the fictions my mind creates. What my mind defined as emptiness is neither empty or full. It just is. It’s a field of being stirred into becoming by thoughts, words, actions and events. Stirring being into becoming, I sense the world resonating to life.

Learning to relax into and trust being seems to be my task in the field of Becoming. As the usual beliefs and stories become more and more transparent, it’s strange and disorienting for my mind. There is less and less to grasp and more and more indefinable being to live. There is no problem in this unless my mind labels it a problem and fears for its survival. Since my mind is a story-making machine, it continuously tries to make some-thing out of no-thing. When no-thing won’t cooperate by compromising its indefinability, my mind thinks it fails and gets depressed. Undaunted it tries again and again. Over time, my mind is learning that surrender is a more enjoyable option.

This reminds me of the story about the Japanese soldiers found on islands in the Pacific long after World War II had ended. These soldiers were so identified with the war they didn’t believe it was over. Wise psychologists knew that these soldiers couldn’t instantly change their beliefs. Instead, they had someone regularly whisper in each soldier’s ear, “The war is over.” Over time, the soldiers’ experience showed them they were no longer living in a war zone.

Whether this story is true or not, it helps my mind settle into and explore the indefinable territory of being it finds itself inhabiting. This territory is not the territory of the conventional mind which values duality in all its forms. In the indefinable territory of being, pleasure and pain, success and failure, etc. are stirrings of silence into sound For my mind to revel in this indefinable territory is yet another interpretation, a “success”, that is enjoyable, but transparent to the no-thing that pervades every-thing more and more.

Imagine all the problems that are created by our minds trying to define the indefinable. Conflicts, wars, discrimination, greed and all sorts of other problems can result from trying to fit the world into our definitions, no matter how well intentioned. I think John Lennon’s had it right when he said, “War is over if you want it.” Perhaps we would be better served by facing what our minds call emptiness, seeing through our compulsion to define it, and cooperating with the indefinable mystery of stirring being into becoming.

About Our Guest

I’m an architect and author, writing this blog to explore the following questions—How do we live well on this planet? Confronted with the greed, ignorance and fear shaping much of the world, how can we find openings to dwelling here with wisdom, connection, creativity and delight? Looking into these questions reflects my passion for understanding how our thoughts and actions shape buildings and cities. My two books—THE TEMPLE IN THE HOUSE and A HOME FOR THE SOUL—examine the idea of design as a language of human experience. This blog expands these connections to explore how imagination influences what we build in nature. In turn, it looks into ways nature can open our imaginations to more inspiring, sustainable and creative ways of dwelling here now. Let me know what you think.

Buy the ebook 24 PATTERNS OF WISDOM Click here for: Amazon Kindle Version

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During the evening we transition from daylight to darkness and from being awake to dreaming. Isn’t this transition a beautiful reminder of the natural cycle all living systems go through? Each and every day we move between growth (daylight), and renewal (night). Every night when we close our eyes, we let go and walk in the shadows of the unknown. Yet, we still struggle intellectually with the idea of attachment and letting go. Funny, huh? What allows us to let something else take over us when we are dreaming? What is it that takes over? Where do “we” go when we sleep? These are the same questions that mystify us about death. Join us this week as we deepen our understanding about death and go on an exploration with our NASA-employed Kent Smith, who is author of Love Promised, as she shares her answer to our question “Where do we go when we die?”

Blog Post from our Upcoming Guest Humans—Let’s Explore! Are We Multifaced Beings?

by Kent Smith

By now, whether or not you’ve been involved in metaphysics, you’ve probably heard the phrase, “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, yet we are spiritual beings having a human experience.” When I first heard this statement, I got so excited…Brilliant! I thought, whoever said it.

Have you ever felt yourself lying in bed at night, so still and relaxed that you can’t feel your own physical body? Most likely, your brain waves, the electrochemical activity of the brain, are cycling at 4-8 cycles per second, or what we call “theta waves.” At this point, before drifting off into a deep sleep, you may have felt this intense but subtle vibration all over your body. Our physical bodies are very dense matter—yes, it’s vibrating too; after all, everything is—because it’s all energy. But our soul vibrates at a much, much higher rate. It’s etheric in nature and doesn’t consist of the denser matter. It also doesn’t sleep, so there is no need to stay in the body when it is asleep. Only the body requires sleep for its own health. The body of our soul operates under different laws of physics—which science is still trying to discover, understand, and define. And, whether or not they will someday call this collective energy of the body a soul really doesn’t matter to me. As mentioned in my Intro to Love Promised: A Future Life Revealed, Berkeley physicist Charles Townes said:

A revelation and an idea are essentially the same thing; for religion, it’s a revelation, for science, it’s just an idea, but both are one in the same.

So, possibly the term “soul” will always be the language of religion while science looks only at the collective energy of subatomic particles. However, they may very well be one and the same. And, it’s very exciting that science keeps researching to find the most fundamental particle in nature that some have referred to as the “God particle.”

You may have also heard the phrase that the body is just a “vehicle of expression.” It truly is…No different from how we get into our cars each morning to go to work, we get into our bodies even earlier than that before we awake fully to live each day—to carry out our role in this life. When you get out of bed to start your daily routine, still in a relaxed mode or if you meditate, your brain waves then may be cycling at 8-16 cycles per second, or what we call “alpha waves.” On the way to work you may still be in this relaxed frame of mind (depending on traffic, of course). However, if you are participating in a meeting or driving a bulldozer, your brain waves will most likely be cycling at 16-32 cycles per second, or what we call “beta waves.”

So it seems that as the soul, we do use this physical body to express ourselves and have a human experience. The physical body cannot operate without the soul that inhabits it or stays connected to it—no more than the typical car can truly operate on its own. When it’s activated by the key, the engine turns on and it’s ready to go. When we awake in the morning, our soul has reentered the body, the “key” has been turned on, and we are ready to start our day. (Unless it’s your internal programming that wakes you up too early on Saturday morning and you deliberately reprogram yourself to go back to sleep! And, quite possibly, it’s a dream you don’t want to wake from, or this parallel universe you were in—a subject that science is seriously now looking into. But that’s a whole different subject, for a future blog)

The physical body and the soul are always connected with an etheric cord, much like the heart of a fetus in the mother’s womb is connected to the mother’s lungs that give it the breath of life. (I might also add—it’s my belief that the soul who has claimed this body, which is respected by all other souls, is free to come and go and, during this fetal period, spends more time outside of the body than in it.)

Most times, the human is not aware of the key being turned off, or being turned on. One night, I felt myself rolling off the side of the bed. The sense of falling awoke me suddenly and I wondered about being closer to the edge of the mattress than what I remembered. I quickly braced myself for the impact of hitting the floor only to discover, seconds later, that I was not even in my physical body…because it doesn’t bounce back off the floor and start floating! Ah, another OBE, but this time I didn’t remember the intense vibration of separating from my body, nor was I aware of it.

Why it is that our physical bodies require sleep and our soul never does? Yes, we have so much to learn…for eons we have studied and learned about this material world where we consciously exist. Don’t you think it’s time we begin to learn more about this non-physical world where we also exist—the one we’re in before we get into our physical vehicles each morning?

As the Bible (King James Version) says in Proverbs 4:7, “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore, get wisdom; and with all thy getting, get understanding.” Yet it is implicated that we humans only have a finite mind, so why bother trying to really learn anything about the infinite—until we die? So most of us just wait. But, if the soul who inhabits our bodies each and every day never dies, then why wait until the physical death to know? If we are truly multifaceted beings, then I want to know about as many facets as I can before I shed this physical body! And, quite possibly, this knowing and understanding could help me now.

Can we become more aware? Can we raise our awareness to understand that if each of us is truly more than a finite being, maybe it’s possible to learn more about the infinite, at least more than we’ve been told by those who have tried to educate us in a scientific and religious sense? The things that cannot be explained by those in authority may be kept hidden for various reasons. However, ponder this—just as the medical profession is now emphasizing more every day that each individual, not the doctor, should be responsible for their own health. Should we also be responsible for our own beliefs about science and religion? No longer do we have to rely on these two authorities alone and be told what to believe. Furthermore, we are not living in the Dark Ages. No longer is it a crime to look outside the box when the answers we seek are not readily available. After a multitude of years living on this planet, in this one evolution of mankind on Earth—I think it’s time. It’s time that we begin to understand especially, that which we do not know. And that’s why it is called…exploration.

About our Guest Kent received a Bachelor of Science degree from Murray State University, Murray, Kentucky, in 1976, with an emphasis in Social Work and Psychology.

As a NASA contractor for 22 years working for United Space Alliance (USA), she held several technical support positions within the Mission Operations Directorate. While at USA, she coordinated flight operation review meetings for space shuttle flights; supported flights in real time as a backroom flight controller; and, coordinated flight crew procedures for International Space Station (ISS), expeditions both domestic and abroad. Currently, she works for Wyle, who is contracted to NASA, to provide support in the Human Heath and Performance Directorate. As an Operational Psychology Coordinator, she supports astronauts and their families prior to, and during, International Space Station (ISS) on-orbit crew expeditions.

On a personal note, Kent’s involvement with metaphysics started at a very young age when she started having out-of-body experiences (OBEs). With a curious mind, she has always questioned the reality of life itself and this experience we call “death.” Since her teenage years, she has sought answers about life through many sources. Upon finding that she could communicate regularly with her deceased loved ones, she set out to learn as much as she could about life from their perspective. Amazing answers were revealed and a story that should not be left untold.

Kent has three grown children and one grandchild. She lives in the suburbs of Houston, TX.

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Don Miguel Ruiz, Jr – The Five Levels of Attachment (New Years) This is an excerpt from my radio interview with Don Miguel Ruiz, Jr. We were talking about New Year’s Resolutions and attachments. However, I think that his wisdom is relevant as we start each and every day. What would happen if every morning could be a manifestation meditation, where we start off the day as if we were a brand new baby full of opportunity and potential. Each day could be a practice of reminding ourselves to dance with the universe and to hear the “yes” or “no”. If you want to hear more of the interview click on the podcast above (fast forward to about 4 minutes in), or “subscribe” to our newsletter as we publish more transcripts from this interview.

Transcript of Radio Interview with Don Miguel Ruiz, Jr Q: Let’s talk about the Toltec traditions during the end and beginning of the New Years. Do you have any New Year’s resolutions or end of year rituals?

A: January 1st is basically a brand new day. When we were born, and when our parents hold us in their arms and they see nothing but the pure potential that they can dream. We can be a doctor, a lawyer, a great musician, or gymnast, anything is possible when our parents held us in their arms. The sky was the limit. There is moment in our life, where we become aware of that opportunity and that potential we have in our life and January 1st is one of those days. It feels on that day that we went a whole brand New Year. We realize that we can do anything we want. We can create this, and we can create that. Anything our little heart desires. When we make a resolution, it is basically saying what we want our year to look like, because we see that same potential.

The beautiful thing about that tradition of New Year’s Eve is that we are once again reminded that we are alive, completely and totally alive. We have the capacity to create the life the way we want to. We can dance with the planet to create it. Because the planet has the perfect right, every right to say “no” to us. But, when life says “yes” to us and we say “yes” to it, then we can create anything. But, it is important to realize that there is huge difference between letting life tell us “no”, and our own mind says “no” with fear. Because when we are saying “no” , then something won’t be done. When I say “yes”, then something will be done. It is a beautiful dance between me and everything around in life. A New Years’ resolution is setting up an intent.

Now, the question is what do we use as a motivator? If we are going to use the goal as the condition for our own self-love. Sometimes, we will succeed, and sometimes we won’t. Sometimes we say something we don’t really want it, and we stop doing it. But then, there are things we really want to do and somehow or other we manifest it. For example, this is your first radio show on a brand new network. This is probably part of one of your New Years’ resolution and here you are, it is done. What we do in our New Years Eve is exactly that, we become aware that this is a moment in time where I can say good bye to the dream I created in the previous year. We can do this either consciously or unconsciously, willingly or unwillingly. We can say, “it is told, it was created, it is done, and I say ‘thank you’”, and then I start anew. It is like a baby who fell down, stands up until he is able to walk and run with it.

Q: As a coach, I find that New Year’s resolutions and personal goal setting can morph into a punitive thing. They become “should’s” versus wants (e.g.- ‘I should lose weight’, ‘I should be on time’, etc) based on external expectations that people put on you. Now, think about how the whole New Year’s experience would change if we did as you suggested. If we do not use resolution as a condition for our own self love and we think of each day as an opportunity to create dreams. What would happen if we could think of every day as a new beginning and being aware of the potentiality of creating anew? It changes the whole way folks in the US think of resolutions, don’t you think?

A: I think so. Everyone is different, there are 7 billion of us in the world and we all think differently. What is beautiful about what I am saying and what I have learned is that it may not be about the goal at all, or the actual resolution, because the resolution or the goal is just the focal point of my intent. The great thing about the process of goal setting is becoming aware of how powerful we are as individuals of being able to create it. Goals and resolutions and all those things are basically the excuse for us to create. If we shift our attention away from the goal as a condition of my own acceptance, but instead see it as a focal point for expressing who I am or manifesting what I want, or manifesting the dream that I want then what I’m really celebrating is the life in me, my strength, my abilities, and the intent I have. As you were saying, we make our resolutions from a place of ‘I should’s and we are so used to that. But, all of a sudden if we look at it from a different angle and we say that resolutions come alive only when I put a foot forward, I take an action, I say “yes” or even say ‘no’, then what I’m really celebrating there, is this great power, and this great intent hat is in all of us. For example, this radio show required Cassandra, the technical staff, the telephone company, and you and I to create it. We are all working together for this, everything in our dreams. A dream to finally say “yes” to this moment and we are riding the wave and riding it until the waves let go and then we look for another one.

INTERVIEW HAS BEEN CONDENSED AND EDITED.

About Don Miguel Ruiz, Jr At the age of 14, don Miguel Jr. apprenticed to his father don Miguel Sr. and his grandmother, Madre Sarita. From that early age, he was called upon to translate Madre Sarita’s prayers, lectures and workshops from Spanish into English. In this way, through constant repetition and review, he learned the content of her teachings in both languages. Through interpreting for Madre Sarita, don Miguel Jr. came to understand the power of faith. He saw first-hand how she manifested her intent to heal people, both physically and spiritually. don Miguel Jr.’s apprenticeship lasted 10 years. When he reached his mid-20′s, his father intensified his training. At the apex of this power journey don Miguel said to his eldest son, “Find your way out. Go home and master Death by becoming alive.” For the past six years, don Miguel Jr. has applied the lessons learned from his father and grandmother to define and enjoy his own personal freedom while achieving peace with all of creation. Today, don Miguel Jr. is married and has two young children. And so, as a Nagual he begins once again to pass along the wisdom and the tools of his family’s traditions in helping others to achieve their own personal freedom and optimal physical and spiritual health. Miguel Jr. has taken the lessons of his father and grandmother and discovered his own personal freedom. Being able to apply his teachings to the world around him gave Miguel Jr. a new understanding of the lessons his father and grandmother had passed onto him, once again giving him the desire to pass on his beliefs. After decades of training, Miguel Jr. was finally ready to share everything he had learned. As a Nagual, he now helps others discover optimal physical and spiritual health, so that they may achieve their own personal freedom. Join Miguel every Wednesday at 12:00 PST for his radio show “The Way of The Desert” as he shares his beliefs using both the tools of his family’s traditions and the knowledge gained through his own personal journey. You can also access the site to listen or download past archived shows.

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The depth and the breadth of how we sense the world (see, hear, feel, etc) is truly uncharted territory. While seeing the glass half-full or half-empty is one way of capturing how we navigate through the world, there is much more to discover and experience. This Wednesday (3/20) we’ll talk to architect and author, Anthony Lawlor, who will literally change the way you are looking at life. Learn how to see the world with a new perspective. We’ll talk in detail about how you can use “24 Patterns of Wisdom” to make sense of and make peace with the human journey. Make sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes to listen at your convenience or “like” the Fire it Up with CJ page where we’ll post the final show. Show Summary * Segment 1The world is ever changing. Anthony Lawlor and CJ discuss how we navigate the ever-shifting sea of life. This episode is a reminder that ” the only thing permanent is impermanence”. Anthony discusses how he works as an architect to navigate the need for both structure/function and something more magical that incorporate’s client’s soulful expression. * Segments 2: Learn how Anthony Lawlor used the 24 patterns of wisdom in his own book to deal with his mother’s recent death. Anthony shares his personal experiences about life and death and the beauty of the human journey.

Blog Posts from Guest “You cannot solve a problem from the same consciousness that created it. You must learn to see the world anew.”— Albert Einstein

This book provides openings to “seeing the world anew.” It presents 24 patterns of wisdom that map the road to finding out who you are, why you are here and where you are going. These patterns are visual diagrams of consciousness, illustrations that offer insight about where you are on your human journey and how one stage of experience grows into the others. This sequence of drawings helps free you from any single phase of development. It opens the way to engaging natural tides of change with greater happiness, peace and creativity.

The patterns of wisdom presented here provide essential understanding for navigating the world. To find our way takes all sorts of knowledge. We need varied and specific skills to make money, engage in a relationship, parent a child, cook a meal, write a poem and do the thousand other things that make a life. Through every pursuit, patterns of wisdom help us see what is happening and help us comprehend our connections to our surroundings. In contrast, lack of knowledge contracts us in fear and overwhelms us with confusion. When that happens, all the information in the universe cannot make things better. When we understand patterns of wisdom we feel expanded, peaceful and clear. We are more energized, imaginative and loving.

People throughout time have enhanced their knowledge by sensing the patterns that influence their thoughts and actions. When we understand this wisdom about the workings of life, we are better prepared to deal with each situation that arises. We can see what to avoid, what to embrace and when to remain neutral. Reference points can be found for steering a course through upheavals and down times. If we do not understand the patterns of wisdom shaping ourselves and the world, we become victims of circumstance. We can miss what is happening right in front of us and overlook clues about what is coming our way. Our actions can become mechanical, have limited effect and restrict our satisfaction.

24 Patterns of Wisdom provides tools for finding harmony in conflict, clarity in confusion, and comfort in chaos. By understanding the map of how wisdom transforms our lives, we discover what transforms the world. In random events, we can discern coherent sequences of development. As we are bombarded by swiftly changing information, we can find stability. In the radical reshuffling of society occurring in this century, we can be better prepared to maintain our true natures and stay connected to our authentic purposes.

The patterns of wisdom presented here are not rules for action or ideals for living. Instead, these visual diagrams of knowledge depict the unseen currents shaping who we are, what we do and where we go. Learning how to detect these patterns of wisdom alerts us to unconscious habits that can undermine us and put us in conflict with life. Having greater awareness of our autopilot actions allows us to be less dominated by worn out and rigid ways of thinking. It offers us greater freedom to choose how we want to live. Recognizing the wisdom in these diagrams improves our ability to see through surface appearances to the core of what shapes our lives. It opens the way to perceiving the wellsprings of inspiration at the heart of each situation.

The diagrams of wisdom on the following pages distill knowledge for living that has been developed through centuries of experience. Symbols and stories providing insights about the human journey are at the heart of every spiritual path, scientific discovery, psychological realization and artistic creation. Sacred teachings portray these revelations through the lives of Buddha, Christ and other sages. They depict them with images of the Wheel of Dharma, the Cross, the Star of David and other revered icons. Science describes this knowledge through formulas for gravity, the speed of light and the other forces structuring the universe. Psychologists convey this wisdom through archetypes of personal growth. Artists express this understanding through forms and colors that ignite vitality and inspire awe.

24 Patterns of Wisdom conveys this timeless knowledge in a unique way. It traces the path of growing wisdom through a new sequence of symbols. Each symbol depicts a stage in the process of gaining knowledge without referring to a particular religion or philosophy. Instead, this series of images depicts how our daily experience travels from the limits of the physical world to the freedom of consciousness shimmering through every detail of living.

The symbols illustrated here are archetypes of human experience. Archetypes are like the bones that give our bodies structure. They are essential, but unseen. Archetypes are the organizing principles that support and guide our emotions, actions and achievements. They are patterns that we fill with real-life experiences. Archetypes of life stages such as birth and death, are filled with the real-life experiences of our specific births and deaths. The archetypal roles of the Child, the Mother and the Hero are filled in with the details of our personal childhoods, our specific mothers and the particular heroic acts we encounter on our way. The archetypes of wisdom presented in this book describe essential patterns of experience such as the Circle of the Senses, the Primal Wound, the Belief Grid and Flowering.

Archetypes hover below the surface of every thought, word and action. We do not acquire them the way we acquire the knowledge of driving a car. Like the knowledge of breathing, the wisdom of archetypes is already guiding our lives. Yet, we can be unaware of the archetypes motivating and shaping us. To benefit from their guidance, we must learn to see and feel them. When we can directly experience these archetypes of wisdom and live in harmony with them, we can access the fullness and vitality of life.

Archetypes are not passive structures. They are vital links to the subtle, luminous forces that power our thoughts and gestures. These links are found at the overlaps between matter and energy, the interfaces where energy sparks matter alive. In this sense, archetypes are forms of potential, the readiness for action and achievement. Because archetypes already exist and are always behind everything we do, they are indestructible. Connection with them opens our lives to experience what is beyond change.

By learning to perceive archetypes, we learn the pathways through which consciousness is expressed in us and in our surroundings. Carl Jung, who developed the concept of psychological archetypes, said that whether we understand them or not, we must remain conscious of their influence. Archetypes are vital parts of nature and, therefore, connect us to our roots in the world. If we are cut off from these primordial images of existence, we are cut off from the profound richness of life.

By exploring archetypal wisdom, we not only enhance our personal journeys, we also connect to the rest of humanity. Joseph Campbell beautifully describes this experience in relation to the archetype of the Labyrinth: “Furthermore, we have not even to risk the adventure alone; for the heroes of all time have gone before us; the labyrinth is thoroughly known; we have only to follow the thread of the hero path. And where we had thought to find an abomination, we shall find a god; where we had thought to slay another, we shall slay ourselves; where we had thought to travel outward, we shall come to the center of our own existence; where we had thought to be alone, we shall be with all the world.”

24 Patterns of Wisdom provides visual symbols you can use each day to guide and support your unique passage through the world. As you navigate the winding trail of day-to-day challenges, you can bring these images to mind as you would recall inspiring sayings and quotations to strengthen you with uplifting insights and motivating knowledge. By doing so, these 24 symbols become allies for making every step of your way a homecoming to the harmony, joy and abundance of your luminous nature.

About the Guest I’m an architect and author, writing this blog to explore the following questions—How do we live well on this planet? Confronted with the greed, ignorance and fear shaping much of the world, how can we find openings to dwelling here with wisdom, connection, creativity and delight? Looking into these questions reflects my passion for understanding how our thoughts and actions shape buildings and cities. My two books—THE TEMPLE IN THE HOUSE and A HOME FOR THE SOUL—examine the idea of design as a language of human experience. This blog expands these connections to explore how imagination influences what we build in nature. In turn, it looks into ways nature can open our imaginations to more inspiring, sustainable and creative ways of dwelling here now. Let me know what you think.

Buy the ebook 24 PATTERNS OF WISDOM Click here for: Amazon Kindle Version

Links * Website: * Blog: * Amazon

Testimonials “24 Patterns of Wisdom is an enormously inspirational book. It combines Anthony Lawlor’s knowledge as an architect with insights gleaned from depth psychology to provide a roadmap to the quest for meaning, purpose, and wisdom.”

— PHIL COUSINEAU, author of The Hero’s Journey: Joseph Campbell on His Life and Work

“Anthony Lawlor has offered a brilliant and stunningly beautiful mandala of the soul’s journey. 24 Patterns of Wisdom takes the reader on an in-depth, experiential journey into the archetypes that underlie our life situations and offers healing as well as meaningful reflection.”

— RICK JAROW Ph.D., author of The Alchemy of Abundance

“24 Patterns of Wisdom is an inspiring, visionary book. Anthony Lawlor gives us a groundbreaking guide to finding clarity in confusion, harmony in conflict and comfort in chaos. Through wonderful drawings, insights and stories, we learn to see the world with fresh eyes and feel inspired every day of our lives. I love this important and wsie book!”

—MARCI SHIMOFF, New York Times bestselling author of Happy for No Reason

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Love letters aren’t just for Valentine’s Day anymore? How about writing a love letter to a family member, friend, or even yourself? Karen Noe, a medium, has some suggestions for how you can live your life with no regrets. Make sure to listen LIVE this Wednsday (3/20) from 4-5 EST(1:00-2:00PST) on our radio show. Make sure to subscribe to our show on iTunes to listen at your convenience or “like” the Fire it Up with CJ page where we’ll post the final show.

Show summary Segment 1: Karen Noe and CJ discuss the three regrets folks have in life: not telling our loved ones how much they meant to us, asking for forgiveness, forgiving others, and not treating ourselves better. Karen tells her story about how a group of friends explored how letter writing may help.

Segment 2: Karen Noe and CJ discuss the ways letter writing has changed her life and the unexpected impact it’s had with her friends. Karen offers some tips on how to write your own love letters and letters of forgiveness.

BLOG POST from our upcoming guest ( www.beliefnet.com) How many times have you said to yourself, “If I only knew what he/she was thinking?” Don’t worry, you will find out. When your body passes into the spiritual realm, you will essentially press the replay button on the story of your life. You will travel back in time and see everyone you have encountered in your lifetime. The unique and amazing part of this experience is that, unlike watching a replay on your television where you simply see characters re-enact situations, you will actually be there in that moment, experiencing everyone’s emotions are if they were your own.

As a psychic medium, I often receive messages from those who have died who are now able to see this “bigger picture” of how they had affected everyone in their lives. They often say that they wish they had done things differently while they were still here in their physical bodies and are sorry they never told their loved ones how much they loved them. I often hear the same regrets from their living loved ones who also feel it is too late to make things right.

After hearing this time and time again, I realized I needed to spread the important message that we don’t have to wait until we die to see the bigger picture of how we are affecting those in our life. We have a chance right now to release any guilt or resentment we may have in our hearts. We have an opportunity to leave this life with no regrets.

But how can we do that? Well, like many instances in our lives, the answer is very simple – with a letter. We can write our loved ones a positive letter, telling them how much they mean to us. While this may not be the easiest thing to do, it will “eternally” be worth it.

Writing a letter works because we will be taking the time to say exactly what we have always needed to say. We could write everything we would want our loved ones to know, as if we were looking back at our lives with them. The letter should be a very positive one, and we would need to include anything in the letter that we would regret not saying after we left this world.

A letter writing exercise is also a great way to help us heal unresolved issues with our loved ones. We wouldn’t have any regrets after this life, because we’d be able to say and do everything that was needed now. The different types of letters can include:

The gratitude letter – a letter with words of love and encouragement to significant people in our lives

The forgiveness letter – a letter when attempting to forgive someone else or if you are the one who needs to be forgiven.
A letter to yourself – a loving letter of appreciation to yourself
A letter to deceased love ones -a letter of either appreciation, forgiveness, or just to maintain your connection to those who have died.

I wrote these types of letters to those in my life, and the results were better than I could ever have anticipated. While these letters were not always easy to write, they have made all the difference, not only in our communication with each other, but in the peace that now exists between all of us.

One of the greatest benefits I received was from a letter I wrote to my mother. The day before she passed away last year, she was unaware of what was going on around her. As she lay in bed, I was so happy to see the letter I had written to her a year before lying on her desk. It had everything I needed to say, so I pulled up a chair and softly read those words to her. Although she had not responded earlier to anything, as I was reading my letter of love to her, the expression on her face completely changed, and she raised her hands to her mouth. She had heard me! What a blessing it was that I had already written these perfect words and was able to read them to her during her final days. Everything I needed to say was said, and I had no regrets.

You, too, will be able to experience tremendous blessings in your life by taking the time to write these types of letters to your loved ones. Tell them everything you need to tell them now. Write down your words of love and forgiveness (whether you want them to forgive you or you want to forgive them). Try to see through their eyes how you are affecting them, and let them know you will take whatever steps that are necessary to heal your relationships with them.

If you take advantage of this fulfilling and life changing exercise while you’re here on earth, your whole life will take on another direction. You won’t have to wait until you die to see the bigger picture of how you are affecting those around you. You will be able to do it now, and create peace in your life and in the lives around you, before it is too late.

Many blessings to you!

Guide to Creating Heaven on Earth By Encountering Your Life Review Now. Also, check out Karen’s Web site at www.karennoe.com

Read a weekly articles posted on www.beliefnet.com by Karen Noe, the founder of the Angel Quest Center in Ramsey, NJ at http://www.beliefnet.com/search/site.aspx?q=karen+noe

About Our Guest Karen Noe is a spiritual teacher, healer and renowned psychic medium with a two-year waiting list. She is also the author of the new Hay House book, Through the Eyes of Another: A Medium’s

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Shepherd Hoodwin’s book Loving from your Soul: Creating Powerful Relationships is a must-read book for anyone on a spiritual journey who is exploring the many facets of love. Over the last few years, I’ve read many beautiful passages about Divine Love that have floated above me like beautiful clouds, untouchable and unreachable in this lifetime. The greatest joy of reading Shepherd Hoodwin’s book is the immediate feeling and experience of love without having to do anything but read the passages and open my heart. Your heart will feel a sense of lightness, love, and faith and you’ll have a better understanding of “How do we love?” The radio interview allowed my mind to translate what I felt in my heart to concrete, practical, and actionable steps.

LISTEN TO THE SHOW

Segment 1: Love—The Best Anger Management Tool

Anger is my friend (see show on Anger). It didn’t start off that way, but over time I have learned to face my anger and learn from it. Shepherd Hoodwin described it perfectly in this interview when he said that everything in life, including learning from your anger, is a spiritual practice. Anger is power coming through you, a life force and energy, that arises when you have to deal with either a real threat (a robber in your house) or a perceived threat, which Shepherd aptly described as baggage anger. Baggage anger is your own anger that you project to another person due to an unresolved issue in your past. The spiritual practice happens when you can gain distance from your emotional reaction to gauge its appropriateness. My favorite quote from the book is below because to me it nails both self-love and love to others.

“If you find yourself either attacking others or trying to be loving by repressing your feelings, you have not yet accurately perceived Love. … Love is in the middle, where there is not need for repression or inappropriate expression. Love your anger. Love it all”

— Shepherd Hoodwin, Loving from Your Soul: Creating Powerful Relationships

Segment 2: How to Open Your Heart

Shepherd discusses how to open the inner door to your heart and discern whether to open or close the outer doors of your heart. In this segment we talk about what it means to open the inner doors of your heart to love, truth, and beauty, and love others unconditionally. We’ll discuss how to manage our own feelings of malaise, revenge, betrayal, and anger when in the presence of difficult people.

“Love comes into your experience primarily through the inner door of your heart.”

— Shepherd Hoodwin, Loving from Your Soul: Creating Powerful Relationships

Segment 3: How Do We Love?

Everyone has their own way of loving. My favorite book on this is 5 Love Languages, which suggests that our love style is based on what we learned from our childhood and is based on demonstrating love through affirmation (positive praise), acts of service (e.g.- doing someone’s laundry), gifts, quality time, or physical touch. In this segment, Shepherd provides some concrete stories that help you accept the love you get in whatever package it comes in versus only accepting love that is packaged in the way we want it. For example, Shepherd uses the example of a father that never says “I Love you”, but works hard at his form of love, which is being a good provider.

Segment 4: Taking Care of Yourself—Self-Love

In this segment we talk about loving others unconditionally as a means of self-love and how to immerse ourselves in positive activities, whether its rest, play, contemplation time as an act of self-love.

“When you are loving yourself, you are loving others. Love does not differentiate between the love you give yourself and the love you give others. Loving yourself is not self-centered. If you do what you truly love to do, you are in harmony with the whole. Loving yourself has vast ramifications. It is not simply a way to increase your effectiveness and enjoyment; it is your primary means of coming to know the force that activates the universe.”

— Shepherd Hoodwin, Loving from Your Soul: Creating Powerful Relationships

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At one point or another we may hit a low point where we feel depressed or stuck in a rut. Danny Dover hit that point a few years ago when he was diagnosed with depression and was told his depression may last two years. The cure for his depression did not come in the form of a pill, but instead the remedy for him involved taking a plunge into life’s adventures and joy. Danny Dover, now 26 years old, created a bucket list of 150 life events to complete by May 25, 2017. Pretty cool, huh?

Here are Danny’s ideas to inspire you into action if you want to follow his lead and some ideas on what you may encounter if you decide to do something similar.

3 Things to get your started:

1) Shift your perspective: If you are in a rut, perhaps it’s because you are taking your life for granted. Start shifting your perspective to one of gratitude and appreciation for all the things you have versus focusing on what’s missing.

2) There is no think, only do: In retrospect, Danny felt he spent too much of his old time thinking about his passion rather than doing it. His advice, pick something simple that you may want to do and just start doing it.

3) Get your finances in order: Earlier on Danny felt that his fear and ignorance about money got in the way of moving forward. Here are some pragmatic resources he suggests to remove the money obstacle: http://www.simple.com, www.futureadvisor.com, and the book, “The Only Investment Guide You’ll Ever Need” – http://www.amazon.com/Only-Investment-Guide-Youll-Ever/dp/0156005603. While Danny cut his income in 1/2, it seems the benefits of his enhanced quality of life improvements is priceless. Plus, Danny finds that he just needs less stuff to make him happy.

3 Step Process:

1) Construct a list: Danny created his list of 150 life events by grabbing coffees and beers with lots of different types of people in my life and asking them what has been the most amazing thing you have ever done? He summarized his findings into 3 areas that made people happy: new experiences, family and friends, and travel. His final list started off with stuff he was familiar with (e.g.-take a cooking class) and then included life events he had no clue about (e.g.- a trip to Belize a country he didn’t even know about). He suggests starting off with tasks on your list that are easy and quick to complete (e.g.- take a cooking class, get a shave at barber) to ensure completion and a good experience.

2) Create a goal: Now with list in hand, Danny got motivated by a simply stated goal and a date– “To complete his 150 live events on his bucket list by May 25, 2017”.

3) Mono-focus on goal: Danny built a whole life around this one goal with his whole life mission and lifestyle revolving around it. Practically speaking this meant changing his finances, job prospects, etc. around making his goal happen achievable. The question he has asked himself throughout his journey – “Why are we here? His answer to-date, ” I’m here to complete my list”. You cannot beat the clarify, focus, and simplicity of his mission. Check out http://www.lifelisted.com/ for more information on Danny’s blog.

3 things you may encounter

1) Waiting time: Ironically, adventure travel involves a lot of passive time sitting around waiting for planes, trains, etc. Danny uses these time outs in airports as impromptu workspaces to do his paying work with his clients.

2) Loss of control/Disconnect: There were many times that Danny did not speak the language in the countries he was visiting, one time going for a week without speaking English to anyone. Internet connection and working can some times be challenge too. The other was running out of money in the correct currency in Argentina.

3) Unexpected/unknown: Recently, Danny fell down into a crevice with no clear bottom at sight while checking off his life event of mountaineering in Antarctica. To me, this last encounter was such a great metaphor for life’s unknowns and how Danny overcame it was perfect. He pulled himself up and out and kept going on with his mission.

And Robert Frost – “Not all who wander are lost.” – I know feel most at home when I am wandering in some random city.

To find out more about Danny check out: http://www.makingitclick.com/ and

http://www.lifelisted.com/

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The Only Investment Guide You'll Ever Need: Newly Revised and Updated

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Blog Post about a Change to Your Career:

By C.J. Liu, Certified Professional Life & Career Coach and Radio host

Did you ever buy a pair of jeans that didn’t quite fit? This is how most people go about job searching. Most job-seekers find a job posting that seems cool, fits their immediate need, or matches what their family thinks make logical sense based on their experience and financial needs. Once the candidate finds the job posting, the majority of his or her time is spent trying to tailor and fit who he or she is to the job requirements. Alas, you have a cool pair of uncomfortable jeans that don’t fit.

While this approach has merits, it skips helpful steps, like thinking about your overall happiness. Instead of fitting yourself to meet the job, how about having the job fit you? This job transition plan may take longer in the short-term (between three and nine months), but you’ll likely be happier in the long-term.

Are you ready for a new way of thinking about job searching? Ready for a transition plan for a new job?

LET GO. It’s hard to think about your ideal job if you’re still carrying old baggage. Maybe it’s your fond memories of being a student, or a challenging job situation. Try to let go of any trauma, remorse, insecurities, negative attitudes or beliefs you may harbor from the place you left (being fired or laid off, for example). These stories of woe and remorse create self-doubt and often confuse you. Find some way of learning the life lesson and move forward. This is an important step to take before putting together your job transition plan.

JOB TRANSITION PLAN. A valid concern during this transition period is about finances. Put together a job transition plan that looks at your financial obligations, savings and timeline. This job transition plan will provide a safety net so you feel more secure. Basics of a plan include looking at your typical monthly expenditures, your savings goals, and figuring out what you need to do in the immediate future to bridge any gaps.

ENERGIZE. In the early stages of any job transition, it’s normal to have feelings of lethargy, anger and blame. Instead of letting these emotions overwhelm you with concern about your mental health or general ability to get things done, try to accept them and view them as cues to relax, contemplate and reflect. A 30-minute quiet walk in the woods or a nap can work wonders to renew your energy. Think of yourself as similar to a car: If your tank’s on empty, you’re not going anywhere.

GET CLEAR. One of the key areas to reflect on during this time is what you want in your next job. Try journaling thoughts on your ideal job. Reflect on previous jobs or classes as examples of what sort of people, environment, job responsibilities, etc., you like and don’t like. Next, get clear about who you are-and who you aren’t. What kind of person did you always admire or want to be? What are your values? What are your strengths? Reflect on these ideas and thoughts. Write down summary statements that define you and your ideal job. This documentation is an important part of your transition plan for a new job.

DREAM. It’s easy for us to forget our passions and dreams. As you reflect, tap into your joy. Draw, sing, dance, hike, meditate, do anything you love. It’s often during these times that you are completely free and liberated from the oppression of the rational part of you and you access the creative, dreaming part of yourself. Never judge your dreams. You may not be able to be a ballerina at age 50, but try to stay curious. What could you do as a lawyer at age 50 that would honor the spirit of what you cared about when you were younger? Maybe it’s getting more involved in the arts. Sometimes these dreams translate to jobs or carving out time in your next career so these basic needs are met.

RESEARCH. Once you have a clear sense of what you want, the next step is finding jobs that meet those needs. As they come up, start writing them down. Force yourself to stretch and write down eight to 10 jobs as part of your transition plan for a new job. If you need, ask a friend to help you brainstorm. From that list there will likely be one or two that bedazzle you. Let your energy lead you to exploring those areas. Ask friends if they know anyone in the jobs or industry or if they can think of jobs that fit your criteria.

OPEN TO ALL. During this discovery stage you should play detective. It’s fine to have a working hypothesis, but don’t start locking down too early. Be open to discovery. Often what arises is a job that meets your criteria, but isn’t at all what you initially pictured. Throughout the discovery period try to let your energy, excitement and intuition have a role that’s equal to your logical and rational side.

These steps are a precursor to the traditional way of finding a job. The remaining steps are what most of us follow today (resumes, interviews, etc.). Do the work above and you will have unlocked and discovered your dreams, your heart, and hopefully have more fun in the process.

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Shepherd Hoodwin’s book Loving from your Soul: Creating Powerful Relationships is a must read book for anyone on a spiritual journey who is exploring the many facets of love. Over the last few years, I’ve read many beautiful passages about Divine Love that have floated above me like beautiful clouds, untouchable and unreachable in this lifetime. The greatest joy of reading Shepherd Hoodwins’s book is the immediate feeling and experience of love without having to do anything but read the passages and open my heart. Your heart will feel a sense of lightness, love, and faith and you’ll have a better understanding of “How do we love?” The radio interview allowed my mind to translate what I felt in my heart to concrete, practical, and actionable steps.

Segment 1: Love- The best anger management tool Anger is my friend (see show on Anger). It didn’t start off that way, but over time I have learned to face my anger and learn from it. Shepherd Hoodwin described it perfectly in this interview when he said that everything in life, including learning from your anger, is a spiritual practice. Anger is power coming through you, a life force and energy, that arises when you have to deal with either a real threat (a robber in your house) or a perceived threat, which Shepherd aptly described as baggage anger. Baggage anger is your own anger that you project to another person due to an unresolved issue in your past. The spiritual practice happens when you can gain distance from your emotional reaction to gauge its appropriateness. My favorite quote from the book is below because to me it nails both self-love and love to others.

“If you find yourself either attacking others or trying to be loving by repressing your feelings, you have not yet accurately perceived Love… Love is in the middle, where There is not need for repression or inappropriate expression. Love your anger. Love it all” – Shepherd Hoodwin, Loving from Your Soul: Creating Powerful Relationships

Segment 2: How to Open your heart? Shepherd discusses how to open the inner door to your heart and discern whether to open or close the outer doors of your heart. In this segment we talk about what it means to open the inner doors of your heart to love, truth, and beauty, and love others unconditionally. We’ll discuss how to manage our own feelings of malaise, revenge, betrayal, and anger when in the presence of difficult people.

“Love comes into your experience primarily through the inner door of your heart.”- Shepherd Hoodwin, Loving from Your Soul: Creating Powerful Relationships

Segment 3: How do we love Everyone has their own way of loving. My favorite book on this is 5 Love Languages, which suggests that our love style is based on what we learned from our childhood and is based on demonstrating love through affirmation (positive praise), acts of service (e.g.- doing someone’s laundry), gifts, quality time, or physical touch. In this segment, Shepherd provides some concrete stories that help you accept the love you get in whatever package it comes in versus only accepting love that is packaged in the way we want it. For example, Shephard uses the example of a father that never says “I Love you”, but works hard at his form of love, which is being a good provider.

Segment 4: Taking care of yourself- Self Love In this segment we talk about loving others unconditionally as a means of self-love and how to immerse ourselves in positive activities, whether its rest, play, contemplation time as an act of self-love.

“When you are loving yourself, you are loving others. Love does not differentiate between the love you give yourself and the love you give others. Loving yourself is not self-centered. If you do what you truly love to do, you are in harmony with the whole. Loving yourself has vast ramifications. It is not simply a way to increase your effectiveness and enjoyment; it is your primary means of coming to know the force that activates the universe.” – Shepherd Hoodwin, Loving from Your Soul: Creating Powerful Relationships

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Fermented & cultured foods: the surprising health benefits March 2013 by Cynthia Lair

Some call them bacteria or bugs but the nice name for this lively population is “flora.” More than 500 different species make up the flora in our bodies, weighing in at between 2 and 5 pounds.

This colony of microbes doesn’t just coexist within us. Our health is dependent upon their ability to stay healthy and report for work each day. Here’s why.

Five ways bacteria help

Twenty-four hours a day our gut flora work to help us thrive. Here’s a top five list of chores the microbes do for us:

Prevent the growth of pathogenic bacteria by recognizing and squashing out the invaders that might make us sick.
Aid digestion by breaking down food, extracting nutrients and even synthesizing some nutrients (such as vitamin K and biotin).
Regulate the constant regeneration of the gut lining.
Produce hormones that regulate fat storage.
Prevent depression.

What? Prevent depression? Seems so.

Findings published in “Proceedings of the National Academy of Science” show a link between probiotics and lower levels of stress hormones, and protective effects against depression.

Not only that, these trillions of good guys — live microorganisms in fermented and cultured foods — also have been linked to obesity prevention. Accumulating research indicates lean people tend to have a higher proportion of two types of beneficial bacteria than obese people.

Scientists and researchers only are beginning to study and realize how crucial the vitality and makeup of our flora is to our body’s overall health. The microbes living in the gut are anaerobic — meaning they die as soon as they are outside the body. So it wasn’t until we could snoop around inside the body undetected with microscopic instruments that some of this information could come to light.

All the important work of the flora can be accomplished only if the good gut bacteria outnumber the harmful bacteria. A ratio of 85 percent good microbes to 15 percent bad is ideal. But most Americans house the reverse (20 percent good and 80 percent bad) and it’s wreaking havoc on our health.

When the bad guys are in charge, our immune system is weak. Allergies, skin problems, irritable bowel syndrome and even some autoimmune diseases are being linked to a feeble first line of defense.

Why don’t we have more friendlies and fewer unfriendlies? What’s to blame?

Five ways we kill good bacteria

Well, here are the top five ways we destroy or handicap our hardworking good microbes:

Antibiotics are indiscriminate. They kill all biotics — not just the bad guys. Sure, we hopefully aren’t prescribed antibiotics that often, but many Americans consume tiny doses daily when eating meat from sources where antibiotics are used routinely. Contraceptive pills, painkillers and cyclin drugs also are thought to stimulate the growth of bad bacteria or eliminate the essential good guys.
Natural foods grown organically are full of vitamins, minerals and amino acids that help usher in and grow friendly bacteria. A diet of poor-quality, non-organic, highly processed food may not kill good bacteria but may encourage bad bacteria to thrive and be a factor in the increasing number of food allergies.
Our push toward super-cleanliness during the last century has helped us get rid of many infectious diseases, but the double-edged sword may be lopping off the heads of our good bacteria. Using antibacterial soaps and antibacterial cleaners, and pasteurizing foods — these seemingly progressive practices also destroy friendly microflora.
American addictions to sugar and white flour may not kill good bacteria in the gut but consumption of these foods helps the bad guys proliferate. Dr. Dale Jacobson’s epic essay on digestion (jacobson chiropractic.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/microvilli1.pdf) describes eating sugary, white-flour products as “basically making a paste in your gut” that “promote[s] gut worms and other exciting parasites.” That sure seems like a description of bad gut guys getting the upper hand.
Chlorinated water, which we drink, swim and bathe in, is an enemy of the good bacteria in our gut. Like antibiotics, chlorine is indiscriminate in what bacteria it kills.

Stress, that fluttery “I can’t ever get all these things done” feeling, would be number 6. It gets honorable mention.

But before you stress out about not having enough good microbes populating your gut and decimate even more good guys, let’s push on to the good news.

Cultured and fermented foods

Cultured and fermented foods, rich in the good microbes that help our flora flourish, have been consumed by humans for millennia. Turning cabbage into sauerkraut, milk into yogurt, and soybeans into miso isn’t new. These practices were necessary to preserve food through lean times when fresh vegetables weren’t available or the cows weren’t lactating.

A study from the “Journal of Toxicology and Environmental Health” found rats fed the artificial sweetener SPLENDA showed a decrease in beneficial intestinal bacteria.

The study confirmed that disruption in the number and balance of intestinal microflora may interfere with essential gut functions.

Our ancestors may not have been aware of the details of gut microbe populations but intuitively knew they helped preserve not just the food, but their health. Unfortunately, as our need to preserve food disappeared, we’ve simply gotten out of the habit of making these foods and including some at every meal.

“Probiotics” has become a buzzword in response to the current understanding of how the gut works and the role fermented foods play in keeping our flora happy. Yogurt makers started marketing their product as “full of probiotics” (as if real yogurt could be made any other way). Taking probiotic pills has become a part of many people’s daily regime.

But do pills do the same thing as eating food laden with good bacteria? The answer remains to be researched.

Most folks sense the body can derive what it needs much more efficiently from natural foods than it can from pills and powders. So in recent years we’ve been seeing a plethora of do-it-yourself cooking teachers educating others about how to make traditional foods that help our friendly microbes flourish.

One of the forerunners is Sandor Katz, who came out with his DIY book, “Wild Fermentation,” in 2003. Readers get complete instructions on how to make sauerkraut, kimchi, sourdough bread, yogurt, miso, tempeh, cider, ginger beer, vinegar and more. Yes, more!

Ingesting these active fermented foods daily can boost the population of good microbes in your gut by leaps and bounds. Katz partially attributes his comeback from AIDS to his discovery of making and eating live, unpasteurized, fermented foods.

Radio Interview with our Guest Want to instantly improve your cooking at home? Try cooking light and love into your food and making cooking into a meditation. Click on the player above to hear Radio Host CJ’s interview with Cynthia Lair.

About our Guest: It wasn’t always food and cooking. As a child all I wanted to do was perform, act. I loved the immediacy of the art form and had no self-consciousness about speaking in front of people. After majoring in theater and a year of apprenticing I moved to NYC for over a dozen years – performing in television commercials, summer theater, showcases. In the mid-80’s my mother’s struggle with cancer pushed me to study alternative healing therapies. I made a decision to return to school to study nutrition and food. I paid for going to school to become a Certified Health and Nutrition Counselor with money earned acting which is pretty funny.

After moving to Seattle, the TV, radio and theater work continued while I wrote my first cookbook, and began teaching nutrition and cooking classes at Bastyr University. Currently I am an assistant professor for Bastyr University’s School of Nutrition and Exercise Science (faculty member since 1994) and the Culinary Curriculum Director for their new Culinary Arts degree program.

My cookbook, Feeding the Whole Family (Sasquatch Books, 2008) is in its third edition and over 77,000 copies have been sold. A fully revised good-looking edition of my second book, Feeding the Young Athlete: Sports Nutrition Made Easy for Players, Parents and Coaches, will be released this fall. Yee haw.

I finally morphed the acting, the cooking and the nutrition together in 2008 with the birth of the online cooking show Cookus Interruptus. In over 160 videos, me and my colleagues from The Edge Improv group twist healthy cooking instruction and the family sit-com genre into educational entertainment. Watch at www.cookusinterruptus.com.

In 2010 I was lucky to be hired by the Auburn School District grant to develop the curriculum for an 8-hour workshop to train school food service workers in the how and why of whole foods cooking. The workshops were are part of the CDC’s Communities Putting Prevention to Work(CPPW) program. To watch a mini-documentary about this project click here.

It drives me nuts that we don’t feed our children better and this irritation drives most of what I do with my life. That and the belief the everything is better with a little humor added.

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Feeding the Young Athlete: Sports Nutrition Made Easy for Players, Parents, and Coaches

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Do you want to live life to it’s fullest? Hear tips on removing obstacles and how one man overcame depression. Learn how our guest transformed his life and moved from being depressed and 70lbs over weight to living life to it’s fullest. Click on “Listen to the Show” this Wed at 1:00-1:30 PST and Danny Dover will inspire you into action uring his live interview with CBS.

About our Guest: Danny Dover is a passionate SEO, influential writer and obsessed life list completer. He is the author of the best selling book Search Engine Optimization Secrets and the co-founder of Making it Click, a marketing training course. Before starting his own company, Danny was the Senior SEO Manager at AT&T and the Lead SEO at SEOmoz.org. In his free time, Danny spends his time checking items off his 150+ item bucket list (more than 70% of which is now complete) and working to become a better writer.

Blog Post by Danny Dover’s blog at: http://www.lifelisted.com/ Dear Unhappy Former Self by Danny Dover on April 20, 2011

Dear Unhappy Former Self,

At lot has changed since we parted ways…

The basic differences are easy to point out. First and foremost, I am in a lot better shape than you. I am about 60 pounds lighter and a whole lot more agile and flexible. Whereas, you got winded after a 50 ft dash to answer the phone, I can now maintain a dead sprint for half a mile at sea level without losing my breath. (Yes, I stole that from the Bourne Identity.) It might seem hard to believe but I also heal faster than you. Injuries and bruises are gone sooner for me than they are for you. The world reacts in better ways to my presence than it does to yours. When people give me a double take, it is no longer to make sure I am not trying to sneak candy into a movie theater.

I also feel a whole lot better than you. I sleep less hours but feel more rested. I have more energy but eat less sugar. My mind feels sharper but I take no medications. I am better at doing mental math, remembering names and communicating my ideas. I have improved focus, stamina and discipline. You have cheap beer and even cheaper promises.

You were an important part of my life but like a negative friend, you were holding me back. The same wit we shared is no longer the single string that keeps me alive in social situations.

I now have purpose, goals and confidence.

So what changed? Simply put, I decided to dump you. No more excuses. No more whining. No more accepting the world as it was. It wasn’t me, it was you. The break up was difficult but put frankly, I realized I could do better than you.

I decided to make diet and exercise a priority and made the decision to fully commit myself to my life list. It was hard at first but gradually I started to become better than you. My priorities became clear and I started to gain momentum. I started to take more chances and slowly started to learn what was possible.

We share a lot in common, you and I. We both have the same hard past experiences that we can choose to allow to limit us. We still have the same fears and the same faults.

You wake up every morning with a smile and optimism for tomorrow. I wake up every morning with a smile and optimism for today.

I make change happen now.

Hope is not lost for you. You can still become whatever or whoever you want. That burst of inspiration that occasionally enlightens you, can still be turned into action. The only variable is you. You must decide to cultivate that change in yourself. It won’t be a caring friend, a successful co-worker or a concerned doctor that turns the steering wheel of your life, it will have to be you. You are not the best version of yourself, you can improve. Make the decision to act! If you do, a happier future awaits.

Love,

A much happier you

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The best multi-tasking ever. Make your cooking experience into a meditation. Elevate cooking and grocery shopping into a whole new level.

Show Highlights What would it look like if you were cooking light and love into your food? How could you make cooking into a meditation? Learn how you can cook with more conciousness and enroll your mind, thoughts, and spirit into your cooking experience. Cynthia Lair elevates cooking to a whole new level. Your friends and family will be nourishing their soul with every bite.

About our Guest:

It wasn’t always food and cooking. As a child all I wanted to do was perform, act. I loved the immediacy of the art form and had no self-consciousness about speaking in front of people. After majoring in theater and a year of apprenticing I moved to NYC for over a dozen years – performing in television commercials, summer theater, showcases. In the mid-80’s my mother’s struggle with cancer pushed me to study alternative healing therapies. I made a decision to return to school to study nutrition and food. I paid for going to school to become a Certified Health and Nutrition Counselor with money earned acting which is pretty funny.

After moving to Seattle, the TV, radio and theater work continued while I wrote my first cookbook, and began teaching nutrition and cooking classes at Bastyr University. Currently I am an assistant professor for Bastyr University’s School of Nutrition and Exercise Science (faculty member since 1994) and the Culinary Curriculum Director for their new Culinary Arts degree program.

My cookbook, Feeding the Whole Family (Sasquatch Books, 2008) is in its third edition and over 77,000 copies have been sold. A fully revised good-looking edition of my second book, Feeding the Young Athlete: Sports Nutrition Made Easy for Players, Parents and Coaches, will be released this fall. Yee haw.

I finally morphed the acting, the cooking and the nutrition together in 2008 with the birth of the online cooking show Cookus Interruptus. In over 160 videos, me and my colleagues from The Edge Improv group twist healthy cooking

instruction and the family sit-com genre into educational entertainment. Watch at www.cookusinterruptus.com.

In 2010 I was lucky to be hired by the Auburn School District grant to develop the curriculum for an 8-hour workshop to train school food service workers in the how and why of whole foods cooking. The workshops were are part of the CDC’s Communities Putting Prevention to Work(CPPW) program. To watch a mini-documentary about this project click here.

It drives me nuts that we don’t feed our children better and this irritation drives most of what I do with my life. That and the belief the everything is better with a little humor added.

A Blog Post from Cynthia Lair Are You Practicing Hara Hachi Bu?

A few years ago in preparing for a lecture on diet and aging I ran across a study in National Geographic. In it the researchers analyzed the diet and life style of three different populations where the people not only live longer lives, but longer, healthier lives. The Italian Sardinia population, the southern Californian Seventh Day Adventist and the citizens from the Japanese island of Okinawa, who all have a large population of healthy centenarians, were part of the study. So what common factors made these three seemingly unrelated groups connect? All three reported putting family first (yea!), being physically active every day (good idea), staying socially engaged and eating plenty of fruits, vegetables and whole grains. Amen to that.

Okinawans have a saying which summarizes the philosophy underlying their healthy lifestyle – hara hachi bu. I had never heard this phrase and wondered why it is considered to promote health into the golden years. The translation – eat until you are 80% full. I grew up in the “clean your plate” era and so was curious about the reasoning behind this supposed wisdom.

Turns out it takes our brain 20 minutes to recognize that your stomach is full. As a result, if you keep eating until your mind registers you are full; you will have over eaten by about 20%. If we push away the plate and stop eating when we feel we are at 80%, it is likely that your body will get exactly what it needs. The feeling of complete satiation arrives in about 20 minutes and the risk of overeating is greatly diminished.

Many studies show that individuals or populations that routinely under eat by this subtle percentage not only maintain a better weight, but have more energy. This makes sense. When we eat to full capacity our stomachs are slightly overstretched which means that the next meal will require just a bit more to achieve fullness. Continually adding a few more calories to attain satiation each day results in noticeable weight gain. And consider that digesting food requires both biochemical and muscular activity from the body. By not continually overtaxing the metabolic system with the need to process more calories than are required, we may reserve our precious energy for things other than processing food.

Okinawans who practice hara hachi bu enjoy more than stable weight and vitality. Almost 29% of Okinawans live to be 100 years old; which is about four times the average in western countries. They consume about 1,800 to 1,900 calories per day. Their typical body mass index (BMI) is about 18 to 22, compared to a typical BMI of 26 or 27 for adults over 60 in the United States. And in Okinawa, Heart Disease rates are 80% lower, and stroke rates lower than in the US. Rates of cancer are 50-80% lower – especially breast, colon, ovarian and prostate cancer. Dementia is rare. These are impressive statistics.

Some nutritionists, aware of the consequences of routinely overeating and the benefits of slightly under eating, suggest routinely leaving 25% of your food on the plate. This is perhaps a step in the right direction but it lacks the individualized message of hara hachi bu. There are times when leaving behind 25% would not be appropriate. What if you skipped lunch and actually do need more dinner? Hara hachi bu asks us to become conscious about how much we eat in a more sensitive way, by tuning in to our inner gauge.

In order to begin developing our gauge, start by remembering a time of being overfull. Thanksgiving or other holiday feasts offer this opportunity. When we eat so much that we begin to groan or our belly sticks out or we verbalize about feeling uncomfortable, that’s 110% (or more!). Next it is good to recall a time when the meal was finished and the feeling of hunger was still strong. I remember eating at a very fancy, expensive restaurant where the portion sizes were barely 3 or 4 bites. We ordered all we could afford and still left the venue looking for ice cream. That’s 50-60% full.

On a daily basis the goal is to hit somewhere in between. A point at which satisfaction has been reached but we are nowhere near feeling “stuffed”. This takes some practice. Some regular tuning in.

Make Hara Hachi Bu a regular check-in at the end of the meal. Everyone at the table can weigh in on what percent full they are. However, be careful not to judge. Anyone who is at 80% isn’t the winner. The point of the exercise is awareness; learning how to sense when we are still hungry, overfull or just right. Becoming conscious of this important cue has benefits to reap each day, each year, each meal. And like the Okinawans who practice this, we may be laying the groundwork for many years of vibrant health. Have you tried it?

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Self Love

How to Love Myself More?There is much new awareness that it is necessary to love yourself in order to love others. What is the nature of loving yourself? There are many different ways of seeing this: treating yourself as you would treat someone you highly respect and admire; giving yourself time for things that matter most to you; eating your food with affection, so that the love you give the food then goes into your body; and so forth. This is an article from our upcoming guest (Shephertd Hoodwin) on How to Love Myself More? Join us on Wed (2/28th) from 1-2PST (4-5EST) when we talk to Shepherd Hoodwin on love.

Loving yourself, however, goes beyond such things. Loving is a unified experience that does not cut off any portion of your reality. When you are loving yourself, you are loving others. When you are loving others, you are loving yourself. When you are having joy in what you are doing, you are giving joy to the world–there is no separation between you and the world. If you have been holding back from treating yourself well for fear that doing so would detract from more important things, you are not seeing the connection between what you do for yourself and your contribution to the rest of what is. When you caress yourself, you are immediately giving the planet a warm and vitalizing touch; you are the planet. When you shout with glee, you release a ripple of color that the stars witness with a sense of gladness; you are the stars, the witness to your own joy. When you truly love yourself or love in any way, you leave a faint but unmistakable aroma of magic in your wake. Is this not at least as great a contribution to humanity as accomplishing item number ten on your “to do” list?

Any act of love is a step in the evolution of life. Love does not differentiate between the love you give yourself and the love you give others. Loving yourself is not self-centered. If you truly love yourself, your actions do not exclude others’ well-being. Your true self-interest includes what is best for everyone. If you do what you truly love to do, you are in harmony with the whole.

Love is. You cannot honor the wisdom of the ages without coming to love. You cannot love others without loving yourself. You cannot love yourself without loving others. You cannot express love without being love. You are love, so that is not a problem.

“What about the parts of me that do not feel loving?” you may ask. “What about my anger toward my boss, my mate, or my neighbors?” The answer is simple: Love your anger. Love those who have perhaps trespassed against you, and love the force in you that seeks to protect you from further trespass or to impel you to appropriate action. Love it all.

Loving yourself has vast ramifications. It is not simply a way to increase your effectiveness and enjoyment; it is your primary means of coming to know the force that activates the universe.– excerpt from LOVING FROM YOUR SOUL- Creating Powerful Relationships Channeled from Michael by Shepherd Hoodwin

Join us on Wed (2/28th) from 1-2PST (4-5EST) when we talk to Shepherd Hoodwin on love.

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This is the first of my synopsis of my show with author Sue Fredericks. In this segment we talked about how to find your soul mate.

1) Segment 1: How do I find your soul mate? (13 minutes) During my first segment I asked Sue Fredericks if it was possible that we go through our whole life and never find our soul mate. My heart sank when I heard the answer…yes, it is possible that we don’t find our soul mate if we are not living true to our life path. Huh? I guess this is the brutal truth about free will. Sue Fredericks explains her own life in which she was denying her path as an intuitive healer and instead focused her life’s work on writing articles on health as a journalist. For her, it took several soul mates and a trip to the ashram to nudge her to do the work she was intended to do here on earth. Sue Fredericks introduced the idea that a person can have several soul mates along their life path, each designed to remind us of our life destiny. As a coach, I liked the new perspective that perhaps our first, second, or third partners as helping us find ourselves. It offered a nice justification for my first boyfriend who lied and cheated on me, my second who constantly criticized what I looked like, and my third lawyer boyfriend which treated the relationship like a court litigation. In fact, these were benevolent beings purposely being idiots to help me get my act together. While I don’t ooze forgiveness and gratitude for these three men, it did change my perspective on my many years spent with them. Best of all, I love Sue Fredericks’ belief that your real soul mate is someone that nurtures you and is the person you create a home and family together with. Yippee! Not that I needed validation, but I just felt happy inside that I’m with my true soul mate. Phew!

Signs of soulmate love, signs of soulmate love, soulmate love, love soulmate, true love soulmates, finding your soulmate, how to find your soulmate, find your soulmate, soulmate search, when will i meet my soulmate, meeting your soulmate , Sue Frederick

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Learn how to follow your heart. Explore the power of our hearts when we interview Christina Pratt, a Shamanic Healer. How can you live life with an open, full, strong, and clear heart? What kinds of activities or behaviors make our heart happy? What does it mean to let your heart lead you?

Show Summary * Link to Segment 1: Following your heart: What does it mean to follow your heart? How do we court our heart and invite it into our life? When is the best time of the day to connect with your heart and for how long? How do we know if we are talking to our heart or our mind? Christina offers a beautiful morning ritual to share with your loved one to set your dreams and intentions in motion. * Link to Segment 2: Creating a healthy happy heart: Christina has spent 20 years becoming best friends with her heart using her swimming, dancing and Shamanic healer to . Christina offers questions to ask your heart and practical strategies to get more in tune with your heart and solve your daily dilemmas. What is the best way to enroll your mind in creating your best possible life?

About our Guest:

Shamanic healer, teacher, and author, Christina Pratt, opened the Last Mask Center for Shamanic Healing in New York in 1990. She has been serving clients on both coasts since then, opening the Center in Portland in 2001. Pratt, a teacher of exceptional clarity, humor, and inspiration, has taught at The Omega Institute, Rowe Center, Hollyhock, Breitenbush Hot Springs, and Sleeping Lady Retreat Center in addition to the workshops produced by Last Mask Center. She is a frequent and honored speaker for the American Holistic Medical Association and local salons. Pratt’s book, An Encyclopedia of Shamanism, was received with good reviews. It is available in paper back through our website or in hard cover from Rosen Publishing Group.

Pratt’s training began in 1986 amid a lifetime of dance. Her shamanic work is a synthesis of studies with Ecuadorian, Tibetan, Tamang, and African shamans, the Foundation for Shamanic Studies, the Center for Intuitive Energy Processing, and personal shamanic experience. Masks of Illusions and the Authentic Selfwas first offered in Hawaii in 1992. The Cycle of Transformation has continued each year since, providing opportunities for transformation and initiation.

Videos from Christina Thoughts from CJ

Here are some of my ruminations about the human heart to jumpstart the topic.

The heart is an organ, but it’s an organ that plays the music of the soul – it’s the music of the birds and the trees – a universal song. We forget – we forget to look everyday into the beauty of this divine instrument that holds so much power – the power to heal – the power to see beyond physical realities – to see the purest essence of each being, each life. The heart’s voice is a beautiful poem, helping us understand the beauty, love, and spirit that reside in every living thing.

We must develop our ears to hear the spectacular symphony of love. The call is so beautiful and it comes to us every day. It helps us to feel the power of life throbbing through us – through our very Being – and to know that the power is in each of us. The heart is our ultimate source for true knowing. We each have the key inside of us and must use it to open ourselves and access the majestic power of our hearts.

Join us this Wednesday as we explore the contours and beauty of our hearts with Christina Pratt from 1:30-2:00PT. Listen to the following in depth discussions on gratitude, compassion, faith and courage, forgiveness, and self-love and how you can bring more love into your life.

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When we are single, but looking for a relationship, there are dark moments when it’s easy to feel that we will never find love. It’s at these moments that we feel separate from a cruel world where everything seems to be made for two. Around Valentine’s Day we are haunted by images of smiling, kissing, and adoring couples buying lingerie, jewelry, and chocolates. Tyler Young, a Seattle dating coach, joins us on our radio program this Wednesday, February 13, from 1:00-1:30 PT to share ideas on finding love and that special someone.

In the meantime, here are a few things from energy psychology and meditation to help you find love an feel the love on Valentine’s Day.

Remove the stressful feelings of separateness and loneliness. It’s important to realize that your feelings of separateness and loneliness are just that… feelings, and something that will pass, like a rainy day. If possible, avoid creating meaning out of these feelings and generating debilitating stories about who you are (unattractive, unworthy, etc.), or how others have wronged you.
- Try a simple tool from energy psychology when your mind and feelings are a bit negative. Place your palm over your forehead (frontal neurovascular points) and place the other palm over the bump at the back of your head (occipital region) and take long deep breaths. Bring up all the negative thoughts that are making you feel bad (e.g., I’ll never find anyone; I’ll always be alone; No one will ever love me) and wallow in your thoughts and feelings. Hold for a few minutes, until you feel relief, a sense of relaxation, a shift, or you feel more neutral.
- Gaining awareness of your negative emotions can be a good first step to releasing them. Check out these in-depth explorations of your negative emotions, whether they be anger, jealousy and envy, and fear.
Bring in your faith and love in yourself. On a spiritual level you are never alone and at any moment you can be in communion with the whole and with your deepest self through meditation. Finding love is a matter of finding your heart. (Check out Wednesday’s show from 1:30-2:00 when we talk about the power of our heart.) While we seek to find love outside of ourselves, the most enduring love is that which we can find within ourselves. Here are a few meditations to try to get your mind in a more positive place. If you are a yoga fan try this heart meditation, or bring in a sense of deep love for yourself by trying this meditation. Either of these meditations can help shift your mindset to a more positive place. Listen to the following in depth discussions on gratitude, compassion, faith and courage, forgiveness, and self-love and how you can bring more love into your life.

There is a theory among energy healers that removing our negative thoughts and bringing in a positive mindset increases the level at which our energy vibrates, which is inherently attractive to others. I have found this to be the case for myself. Give it a try, and see if it works for you!

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Author Sue Frederick, author of I See your Soul Mate, talks about how you can find and keep love. Have you found your soul mate yet? How do you know when you have? Deep inside we long for that special someone who gets us, and that we can walk hand in hand into the sunset. Why haven’t we found them? What can we do if we want to attract that special somebody? If you’ve found your soul mate have you kept your vows to love, honor, cherish, and protect them?

Show Summary Link to Segment 1: Do you think it’s possible for you to go through life never finding your soul mate? How do you know if you have found your soul mate? Is there only one soul mate in our life? Are all soul mates about love and nurturing? What happens if we screw it up with who we thought was our soul mate?

Link to Segment 2: Sue Fredericks shares her 10 Sacred Steps for Brillant Love during Valentine’s Day or any day you want to open your partner’s heart. How can you support your partner’s path as a spouse? Try out Sue Frederick’s simple yet powerful intuitive exercise for giving and getting the love you want from your partner. Listen to Sue’s tip on a fantasy visualization to manifest your love dreams.

Link to Segment 3: Sue Frederick answers a callers questions on when it’s time to break a soul agreement with your partner? Each year in a 9 year cycle brings a certain set of challenges. How can your personal year you are living right now affect your relationship? Sue Frederick does a numerology reading based on the birth dates of two married people. What does numerology say about the path of your partnership? A caller asks if her soul mate will ever arrive.

Link to Segment 4: In a partnership we do an energy dance. What energy are you sending out and what does that attract? Is your negative energy blocking your ability to feel love? How can you raise your vibrational energy to attract love? Sue Frederick shares her personal story of how she uses gratitude to move from a recent pity party back to her personal power.

About our Guest: Career Intuitive Sue Frederick’s work, described as a “breath of fresh air” and “an enlightened new perspective,” has been featured in The New York Times, Real Simple, Complete Woman, Woman’s World, Yoga Journal, Natural Health, The Denver Post, New York Metro, The New Orleans Times Picayune, and at venues like The Omega Institute in Rhinebeck New York and Loyola University in New Orleans.Combining a unique gift of powerful intuition and practical career know-how, Sue has been a guest on more than 200 radio shows and numerous TV shows including Bridging Heaven & Earth.Sue’s best-selling new book – I See Your Dream Job: A Career Intuitive Shows You How To Discover What You Were Put On Earth To Do published by St. Martin’s Press, has changed the lives of thousands of people around the world since its publication in September 2009. Hundreds of people show up at every book signing event, speaking gig and workshop – selling out her books, and waiting in line for hours to have a moment with Sue.

Her background includes:

Successful Career Intuitive Coach and Author
Founder of the Career Intuitive Coach Training Institute
Guest on more than 200 radio & TV shows
Accomplished speaker & teacher at venues such as Omega Institute
Founder of BrilliantWork and The BrilliantDay Revolution Network
Faculty Member of University of Colorado and Naropa University
Former Corporate Vice President & Magazine Executive Editor
Leader of Extreme Survival Courses for Outward Bound
Accomplished Rock Climber
Certified Creative Arts Therapist

Related Topics: * Blog Post: The one and only soul mate – it’s a lie * Blog Post: How to resolve conflict with your soul mate? * Blog Post: Do Buddhist believe in Soulmates? * Blog Post: How to Find Love? * Radio Show: How do we love others? * Radio Show: Writing Love Letters * Radio Show: Loving your partner, warts and all * Get a bunch of content on Relationships

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Do you fight against the current and the dynamics of life and as a result find yourself exhausted and stressed out? Learn by a Tibetan Master how to synchronize your life to the world around you and living in the now. Resistance may not be futile, but relaxing into life sure makes it more pleasurable. Surrender and dance with the good, the bad, and the ugly that life brings and the rewards will be more magic, clarity, and ease.

Show Summary * Link to Segment 1:Getting in Sync with the NOW – How do we live in the Holy Now? How does the Dali Lama stop from being a worry wart? How did Lama Surya Das start a new beginning like a New Year and what were his personal resolutions? What gives him hope during hard times? Lama Surya Das and CJ discuss the trials and joys of raising teens. * Link to Segment 2: Making Peace with Violence -Begin at home – How can we help stop violence in society? Why is self-control as critical as gun control? Why can educating our children to develop self-control help societal violence? What is Dali Lama’s call-to-action for the 21st century? Lama Surya Das offers his look at society and his greatest hopes for how we can change for the good.

About our Guest:

Lama Surya Das is one of the foremost Western Buddhist meditation teachers and scholars, one of the main interpreters of Tibetan Buddhism in the West, and a leading spokesperson for the emerging American Buddhism. The Dalai Lama affectionately calls him “The Western Lama.”

Surya has spent forty years studying Zen, vipassana, yoga, and Tibetan Buddhism with the great masters of Asia, including the Dalai Lama’s own teachers, and has twice completed the traditional three year meditation cloistered retreat at his teacher’s Tibetan monastery. He is an authorized lama and lineage holder in the Nyingmapa School of Tibetan Buddhism, and a close personal disciple of the leading grand lamas of that tradition. He is the founder of the Dzogchen Center in Cambridge, Massachusetts, and its branch centers around the country, including the retreat center Dzogchen Osel Ling outside Austin, Texas, where he conducts long training retreats and Advanced Dzogchen retreats. Over the years, Surya has brought many Tibetan lamas to this country to teach and start centers and retreats. As founder of the Western Buddhist Teachers Network with the Dalai Lama, he regularly helps organize its international Buddhist Teachers Conferences. He is also active in interfaith dialogue and charitable projects in the Third World. In recent years, Lama Surya has turned his efforts and focus towards youth and contemplative education initiatives, what he calls “True higher education and wisdom for life training.”

Lama Surya Das is a sought after speaker and lecturer, teaching and conducting meditation retreats and workshops around the world. He is a published author, translator, chant master (see Chants to Awaken the Buddhist Heart CD, with Stephen Halpern), and a regular blog contributor at The Huffington Post, as well as his own AskTheLama.com blog site where he shares his thoughts and answers questions from the public each week.

Surya Das has been featured in numerous publications and major media, including ABC, CNN, MSNBC, NPR, The Washington Post, The Boston Globe, Boston Herald, New York Post, Long Island Newsday, Long Island Business Journal, San Francisco Chronicle, Los Angeles Times, The Jewish Free Press, New Age Journal, Tricycle Magazine, Yoga Journal, The Oregonian, Science of Mind, and has been the subject of a seven minute magazine story on CNN. One segment of the ABC-TV sitcom Dharma & Greg was based on his life (“Leonard’s Return”). Surya has appeared on Politically Correct with Bill Maher, and twice on The Colbert Report.

More from CJ During my first Fire it UP with CJ show on CBS ( airs on Jan 30th at 1-2PST (4-5EST)) I have the honor to interview Lama Surya Das. I’ll be talking to Lama Surya Das about starting the New Year 2013 and ways we can synchronize our energies and intentions during this very sacred time (the changing of the year), which are ideas covered in his book Buddha Standard Time. Lama Surya Das offered such incredible insights last year I interviewed him twice (Check out: Interview 1 and Interview 2). His book ,Buddha Standard Time, is my all time favorite of the hundreds of books I’ve read over the last two years and has had a lasting impact. What I appreciate about Lama Surya Das is his gift of taking spiritual truths and translating them to practical action. Here are my favorite tips from his book Buddha Standard Time and how I have adopted these in my full and busy life:

Life is a moving meditation: I’ve started trying to sneak in short 3 minute meditations throughout a given day. Waiting in the grocery line, getting coffee, brushing my teeth, or sitting idle at a stop light have been transmuted from impatient inconveniences to meditative moments. While my daily meditation may not be the traditional 20 minutes in a meditation chair, I get seven 3 minute meditations and more presence throughout my day.:)
Expand the hours in the day through meditation: During the times in my life when I feel overwhelmed and stressed out my mind replays a time scarcity message over and over again, “I don’t have enough time in the day to get everything I need to get done. ” Lama Surya Das suggests that stressed periods in our lives are the perfect time to meditate as it results in expanding time. While counter intuitive, my higher Self recognized the wisdom in his words. My personal experience validates that when I am able to wrestle control from my mind and meditate it results in a more resourceful, clear thinking, and calm version of me, and time expands as promised. As a result, my clear presence allows me to manage my time more effectively.
Synchronize your life to the world around you: I’ve always experienced and believed in change from the inside out. However, I’ve learned to appreciate and get curious about the unseen impact on environmental changes on my inner state of being. Living from the outside in. This year I have slowed down and become more present to nature and the changes at a micro level (seasonal changes) and a macro changes ( planetary orbits). Grace, magic, and meaning have been my gift as I have danced with the flow of life versus fighting against it.

After my dad died (see Ted Talk) I became to realize the preciousness of life and my time on earth. My interview this coming Wed@1Pm PT with Lama Surya Das digs into the chapters in his book “Getting in Sync”. We’ll contemplate how to make this New Year precious and more effectively manage our time to achieve our personal goals. Make sure to click on this slink on Wed CBS Sky Radio this Wed at 1:30-2:00PST. More on Lama Surya Das: http://www.surya.org/bio/ Lama Surya Das website: http://www.surya.org/

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Why are our personal goals so hard to create and achieve? Don Miguel Ruiz, Jr, author of upcoming book The Five Levels of Attachment: Toltec Wisdom for the Modern World offers his perspective on the new year and some personal reflections for you to try. Our attachments to the old ways of being and doing are often the biggest hurdle in achieving goals. We’ll share some ideas on how to let go of your attachments.

About our Guest After decades of apprenticeship with his father, don Miguel Ruiz Jr. has penned:

The Five Levels of Attachment: Toltec Wisdom for the Modern World, where he builds on the Toltec principals found in his father’s book, The Four Agreements.

Don Miguel’s Website: http://miguelruizjr.com/
Pre-order a signed copy: http://www.hierophantpublishing.com/the-five-levels-of-attachment/

Achieving your personal Goals As I life coach one of my primary responsibilities is to help my clients achieve their personal goals. Here are 3 very simple tips that will help you along your way to achieve your resolutions and goals for this year and feel more successful :

Clarity: It’s important that you create S-M-A-R-T goals ( Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time Bound) to start off with. Most people stop at just writing a goal statement, but I find my clients with the best results go the next step and ask “what do you want with respect to your goal?”. This is where the higher-level purpose of your goal reveals itself. In the sample below, the higher-level purpose is to look and feel good, be healthy, and have more energy. Let’s say Feb 15th rolls by and you have lost 5 lbs (vs. your goal of 7lbs) but achieve your higher level purpose and you look and feel great. Most people don’t care about missing the goal by 2lbs and still feel successful because they achieved their higher level purpose.
Motivation: Most goal statements lack meaning, passion, or purpose. Infuse your goal with energy and get clear with “why” your goal matters in the first place. There are two types of motivations intrinsic and extrinsic. In the example below, the intrinsic reward is a higher sense of self-worth, diminishing a sense of guilt, and a better outlook on life itself. Now, that’s rewarding. An extrinsic reward may be something more tangible. Let’s say the client rewards their weight loss by buying a new dress. Spend a few minutes figuring out if you need both types and what those rewards may be.
Support: While the American pioneering way is to forge unknown territory by ourselves, we can dramatically increase our likelihood of success by finding a friend, and/or getting professional help to achieve goal. Support can come from anyone and many places. Think about your past successes and what helped you move to the next level, was it a book? a friend to keep you company? a professional coach? and start reaching out for help.

SAMPLE:

SMART GOAL: I want to lose 7 pounds by Feb 15th.
What do you want with respect to your goal? I want to look good in my jeans and the extra weight makes everything feel sort of tight. When I reach my ideal weight, I just feel better emotionally and have more energy. Plus, I like the feeling of eating healthy and feeling strong and fit.
How will your life be different when you get what you want? I won’t have to be deploying my energy thinking about how I look and feeling bad. I can stop my negative self-talk. I’ll feel more attractive and more positive about things that itself will be attract other positive things in my life. I’ll fit into my expensive jeans, which will make me feel less guilty about buying them in the first place.
What specific resources do you need to get this outcome? I like structure so a book with meal plans will help. I need to have a friend keep me accountable and would like a work-out buddy especially for weight work outs which I dread. I need to save money, so maybe a group class.

Take the 15-30 minutes to consider these outlined questions above and the reward will be more clarity, motivation, and the support you need to achieve your goals.

The most tricky obstacle in achieving your goals are our attachments. For example, my attachment to eating dessert with my family keeps me from achieving my personal goal. Unwinding these attachments are hard because they often relate to specific benefits you get. We’ve called in the experts to help you get to the next level of inner discovery. My radio show with Don Miguel Ruiz, Jr. will cover attachments and how they may interfere with your goals. Make sure to tune in tomorrow at 1:00-1:30PT (4:00-4:30 ET). To get more great resources like above go to: http://www.fireitupwithcj.com/.

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The Five Levels of Attachment: Toltec Wisdom for the Modern World

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Want to prevent a hangover? Reminders on some time tested cures and hear of some herbal remedies to keep you headache free on New Year’s Day. How about if the damage is done and you need SOS for your horrendous hangover? Dr. Susan Smith Jones will come to your rescue.

Show Highlights: * Part 1: Preventing a Hangover: Don’t drink on an empty stomach, drink water, and aspirin are the time tested solutions, but find out how strawberries and willowbark may help. * Part 2: SOS for One Crazy Night: Peppermint teas are nice, but how about a smoothie to cure your hangover. Learn about an Asian plant that will help you reduce your desire for alcohol and other natural remedies. * Part 3: Sniffles Got you Down?: You can combat your cold by fortifying your immune system. Learn how Susan has avoided a cold in years. * Part 4: Go beyond Hand Sanitizer: Did you know a sneeze can travel at 60mph and 20 feet? Not only is it gross, but it’s true too. Tune into to get some easy ways to keep well during the Winter season. It may even involve taking a spa- Ooh la la.

Also check out: Time tested tips for healthy indulgences for the holidays

About our Guest: Susan Smith Jones, M.S., Ph.D. Even though she has three of America’s most ordinary names, has made extraordinary accomplishments in the fields of high-level wellness, optimal nutrition, anti-aging, balanced living, and human potential.

A prolific writer, Susan has authored over 1,500 magazine articles on holistic health and over 25 books, including Recipes for Health Bliss, Be Healthy~Stay Balanced, Walking on Air and The Healing Power of NatureFoods. Susan travels internationally as a frequent guest on radio and TV talk shows and an in demand motivational speaker to community, corporate, and spiritual groups.

Resources:

Susan’s online resource: http://www.pennherb.com/
Obla cold products: http://www.nextag.com/Olba-s-Pastilles-Herbal-717901732/prices-html, http://www.houseofnutrition.com/olinclst12.html

The post Preventing Colds and Hangovers (Dr. Susan Jones) appeared first on Fireitupwithcj.

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Feeling a bit overwhelmed about the big push before and after Thanksgiving? How can you stay calm during all the planning and preparations? How can stay true to the real meaning of Thanksgiving- giving thanks to your family, friends and good fortune? Is being with family a blessing and challenge? Learn how to negotiate various agendas at play during the holidays and have peace during the holidays.

About our Guest:

Ragini Elizabeth Michaels, author and certified Trainer of NLP and Ericksonian Hypnosis for over 30 years, consistently receives international acclaim for her elegant style and professional expertise. She is also recognized for Facticity Six Step Process (Paradox Management) – designed to accelerate your ability to surf the spiritual-psychological interface in daily life. Ragini offered The Facticity Wisdom School in Seattle (2000-2009), as well as Paradox Soirees for past students and Paradox Salons for interested beginners. Her work has taken her beyond America to Canada, India, England, Scotland, Italy, Spain, Germany, and Switzerland. She runs a successful private practice in Seattle, has published two books on the psychology of paradox, and eight meditation/hypnosis CD’s. Her third book – working title The Wisdom Of Your Discontent – will be available next spring (Conari Press, 2011).

The post Keeping the Peace during the holidays & family events appeared first on Fireitupwithcj.

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Get a high level step-by-step instruction of what you need to do to create your own empowering subliminal tape.

Back to Series

About our Guest:

Eldon Taylor, Ph.D., is a world renowned author, dynamic speaker, former criminalist and one of the world’s foremost experts on preconscious information processing, who’s prestigious career over the past twenty-five years, has taken him to packed lecture halls throughout the U.S., U.K., Germany, Hong Kong, Mexico and Malaysia. His unique, charismatic and energetic style captivates his audiences, compelling them to take control of their life with a style and approach that is unique and empowering. He is the author of five books regarding the subject of subliminal communication and the inventor of the proven and patented technology InnerTalk®.

Eldon is also the author of more than three hundred InnerTalk® personal empowerment audio and video programs and his work has been published in the likes of Newsweek and Annals of Psychotherapy. In his latest International best-selling book, Choices and Illusions, Eldon shares his life story, integrated with his work and research, that reveals how and why we get locked into self-imposed limitations and false self-images – negative “self-talk” — and demonstrates how we can retrain our mind with positive “self-talk.” Moreover, he qualifies us to make an immediate life change just by revealing how we can look at things differently and therefore affect our entire existence. Indeed, he makes the process of change so simple and clear that his readers and listeners alike walk away with the feeling of

great hope and self-realization.

Eldon believes that self-empowerment is a journey, not a rags-to-riches scheme. In fact, his business operates on a business model different from most. He offers many free products and website content designed just to help others. He shares his genuine and candid belief that the spiritual content of his programs and in his work are

essential to the success of what he does and who he is, holding steadfast that this is what contributes to everyone’s happiness, health, and longevity—his research and data conclusively supporting these beliefs.

Eldon has earned doctorates in clinical and pastoral psychology. He is an ordained interdenominational minister and a Fellow in the American Psychotherapy Association. Listed in more than a dozen Who’s Who publications, he was awarded the 2005 International Peace Prize by the United Cultural Convention for his “outstanding personal achievements to the good of society as a whole.”

The post How to create a subliminal tape ( Eldon Taylor) appeared first on Fireitupwithcj.

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What are subliminal messages? How are they different than affirmations?

Next Segment 4: Get a high level step-by-step instruction of what you need to do to create your own empowering sound track.

Show Highlights:

Segment 1: Introduction to Hypnosis: What is hypnosis? How does it work? You’ll be shocked when you learn what % of our decisions are made by our unconscious.
Segment 2: The Power of Hypnosis: What are the root causes of our fear? What are all the potential uses of hypnosis? Hear how Eldon Taylor used forensic hypnosis as a criminologist to reveal hidden facts in a criminal case.
Segment 3: Subliminal Messages:Segment 4: Creating your own empowering subliminal tape : Get a high level step-by-step instruction of what you need to do to create your own empowering sound track.

About our Guest:

Eldon Taylor, Ph.D., is a world renowned author, dynamic speaker, former criminalist and one of the world’s foremost experts on preconscious information processing, who’s prestigious career over the past twenty-five years, has taken him to packed lecture halls throughout the U.S., U.K., Germany, Hong Kong, Mexico and Malaysia. His unique, charismatic and energetic style captivates his audiences, compelling them to take control of their life with a style and approach that is unique and empowering. He is the author of five books regarding the subject of subliminal communication and the inventor of the proven and patented technology InnerTalk®.

Eldon is also the author of more than three hundred InnerTalk® personal empowerment audio and video programs and his work has been published in the likes of Newsweek and Annals of Psychotherapy. In his latest International best-selling book, Choices and Illusions, Eldon shares his life story, integrated with his work and research, that reveals how and why we get locked into self-imposed limitations and false self-images – negative “self-talk” — and demonstrates how we can retrain our mind with positive “self-talk.” Moreover, he qualifies us to make an immediate life change just by revealing how we can look at things differently and therefore affect our entire existence. Indeed, he makes the process of change so simple and clear that his readers and listeners alike walk away with the feeling of

great hope and self-realization.

Eldon believes that self-empowerment is a journey, not a rags-to-riches scheme. In fact, his business operates on a business model different from most. He offers many free products and website content designed just to help others. He shares his genuine and candid belief that the spiritual content of his programs and in his work are

essential to the success of what he does and who he is, holding steadfast that this is what contributes to everyone’s happiness, health, and longevity—his research and data conclusively supporting these beliefs.

Eldon has earned doctorates in clinical and pastoral psychology. He is an ordained interdenominational minister and a Fellow in the American Psychotherapy Association. Listed in more than a dozen Who’s Who publications, he was awarded the 2005 International Peace Prize by the United Cultural Convention for his “outstanding personal achievements to the good of society as a whole.”

The post Subliminal Messages with Eldon Taylor appeared first on Fireitupwithcj.

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What are the root causes of our fear? What are all the potential uses of hypnosis? Hear how Eldon Taylor used forensic hypnosis as a criminologist to reveal hidden facts in a criminal case.

Link to next segment 3: Subliminal Messages: What are subliminal messages? How are they different than affirmations?

About our Guest:

Eldon Taylor, Ph.D., is a world renowned author, dynamic speaker, former criminalist and one of the world’s foremost experts on preconscious information processing, who’s prestigious career over the past twenty-five years, has taken him to packed lecture halls throughout the U.S., U.K., Germany, Hong Kong, Mexico and Malaysia. His unique, charismatic and energetic style captivates his audiences, compelling them to take control of their life with a style and approach that is unique and empowering. He is the author of five books regarding the subject of subliminal communication and the inventor of the proven and patented technology InnerTalk®.

Eldon is also the author of more than three hundred InnerTalk® personal empowerment audio and video programs and his work has been published in the likes of Newsweek and Annals of Psychotherapy. In his latest International best-selling book, Choices and Illusions, Eldon shares his life story, integrated with his work and research, that reveals how and why we get locked into self-imposed limitations and false self-images – negative “self-talk” — and demonstrates how we can retrain our mind with positive “self-talk.” Moreover, he qualifies us to make an immediate life change just by revealing how we can look at things differently and therefore affect our entire existence. Indeed, he makes the process of change so simple and clear that his readers and listeners alike walk away with the feeling of

great hope and self-realization.

Eldon believes that self-empowerment is a journey, not a rags-to-riches scheme. In fact, his business operates on a business model different from most. He offers many free products and website content designed just to help others. He shares his genuine and candid belief that the spiritual content of his programs and in his work are

essential to the success of what he does and who he is, holding steadfast that this is what contributes to everyone’s happiness, health, and longevity—his research and data conclusively supporting these beliefs.

Eldon has earned doctorates in clinical and pastoral psychology. He is an ordained interdenominational minister and a Fellow in the American Psychotherapy Association. Listed in more than a dozen Who’s Who publications, he was awarded the 2005 International Peace Prize by the United Cultural Convention for his “outstanding personal achievements to the good of society as a whole.”

The post The Power of Hypnosis with Eldon Taylor appeared first on Fireitupwithcj.

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What is hypnosis? How does it work? You’ll be shocked when you learn what % of our decisions are made by our unconscious.

Link to Segment 2: The Power of Hypnosis

About our Guest:

Eldon Taylor, Ph.D., is a world renowned author, dynamic speaker, former criminalist and one of the world’s foremost experts on preconscious information processing, who’s prestigious career over the past twenty-five years, has taken him to packed lecture halls throughout the U.S., U.K., Germany, Hong Kong, Mexico and Malaysia. His unique, charismatic and energetic style captivates his audiences, compelling them to take control of their life with a style and approach that is unique and empowering. He is the author of five books regarding the subject of subliminal communication and the inventor of the proven and patented technology InnerTalk®.

Eldon is also the author of more than three hundred InnerTalk® personal empowerment audio and video programs and his work has been published in the likes of Newsweek and Annals of Psychotherapy. In his latest International best-selling book, Choices and Illusions, Eldon shares his life story, integrated with his work and research, that reveals how and why we get locked into self-imposed limitations and false self-images – negative “self-talk” — and demonstrates how we can retrain our mind with positive “self-talk.” Moreover, he qualifies us to make an immediate life change just by revealing how we can look at things differently and therefore affect our entire existence. Indeed, he makes the process of change so simple and clear that his readers and listeners alike walk away with the feeling of

great hope and self-realization.

Eldon believes that self-empowerment is a journey, not a rags-to-riches scheme. In fact, his business operates on a business model different from most. He offers many free products and website content designed just to help others. He shares his genuine and candid belief that the spiritual content of his programs and in his work are

essential to the success of what he does and who he is, holding steadfast that this is what contributes to everyone’s happiness, health, and longevity—his research and data conclusively supporting these beliefs.

Eldon has earned doctorates in clinical and pastoral psychology. He is an ordained interdenominational minister and a Fellow in the American Psychotherapy Association. Listed in more than a dozen Who’s Who publications, he was awarded the 2005 International Peace Prize by the United Cultural Convention for his “outstanding personal achievements to the good of society as a whole.”

The post Introduction to Hypnosis – Eldon Taylor appeared first on Fireitupwithcj.

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What is hypnosis? How does it work? You’ll be shocked when you learn what % of our decisions are made by our unconscious.

Next segment: The Power of Hypnosis: What are the root causes of our fear? What are all the potential uses of hypnosis? Hear how Eldon Taylor used forensic hypnosis as a criminologist to reveal hidden facts in a criminal case.

About our Guest:

Eldon Taylor, Ph.D., is a world renowned author, dynamic speaker, former criminalist and one of the world’s foremost experts on preconscious information processing, who’s prestigious career over the past twenty-five years, has taken him to packed lecture halls throughout the U.S., U.K., Germany, Hong Kong, Mexico and Malaysia. His unique, charismatic and energetic style captivates his audiences, compelling them to take control of their life with a style and approach that is unique and empowering. He is the author of five books regarding the subject of subliminal communication and the inventor of the proven and patented technology InnerTalk®.

Eldon is also the author of more than three hundred InnerTalk® personal empowerment audio and video programs and his work has been published in the likes of Newsweek and Annals of Psychotherapy. In his latest International best-selling book, Choices and Illusions, Eldon shares his life story, integrated with his work and research, that reveals how and why we get locked into self-imposed limitations and false self-images – negative “self-talk” — and demonstrates how we can retrain our mind with positive “self-talk.” Moreover, he qualifies us to make an immediate life change just by revealing how we can look at things differently and therefore affect our entire existence. Indeed, he makes the process of change so simple and clear that his readers and listeners alike walk away with the feeling of

great hope and self-realization.

Eldon believes that self-empowerment is a journey, not a rags-to-riches scheme. In fact, his business operates on a business model different from most. He offers many free products and website content designed just to help others. He shares his genuine and candid belief that the spiritual content of his programs and in his work are

essential to the success of what he does and who he is, holding steadfast that this is what contributes to everyone’s happiness, health, and longevity—his research and data conclusively supporting these beliefs.

Eldon has earned doctorates in clinical and pastoral psychology. He is an ordained interdenominational minister and a Fellow in the American Psychotherapy Association. Listed in more than a dozen Who’s Who publications, he was awarded the 2005 International Peace Prize by the United Cultural Convention for his “outstanding personal achievements to the good of society as a whole.”

The post Introduction to Hypnosis with Eldon Taylor appeared first on Fireitupwithcj.

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Dr. Marilyn Wedge provides cases when children have been incorrectly medicated. How could family therapy solve some your problem child?

Next Segment 4: What kinds of questions can you ask doctors before turning to medications? What are the health risks posed by medications? What is the relationship between pharmaceutical companies and doctors ?

About our Guest:

Marilyn Wedge, Ph.D., is a family therapist with more than twenty years of experience helping children, adolescents and families. She is the author of two books, both published by W. W. Norton: In the Therapist’s Mirror: Reality in the Making, and Suffer the Children:The Case against Labeling and Medicating and an Effective Alternative (soon to be out in paperback with the new title: Pills are not for Preschoolers). She is a blogger for the Huffington Post and her work has appeared in Babble, The Wall Street Journal, Natural Health, People Magazineand many other publications. She has been interviewed on CBS-San Francisco,San Diego Living, The Fanny Kiefer Show, and on national public radio (NPR).

Dr. Wedge is the originator of “strategic child-focused family therapy,” which empowers parents to help their children heal without labeling them with so-called “psychiatric disorders” or medicating them with psychotropic drugs.

Dr. Wedge earned her bachelor’s degree and her doctorate at the University of Chicago (where she was a Danforth Foundation Fellow), and had a post-doctoral fellowship at the Hastings Center for Bioethics in New York. She has taught at the California State University, East Bay, the College of the Art Institute of Chicago and the Chicago YMCA Community College. She is a popular speaker at national and international professional conferences, including the Milton Erickson Foundation Brief Therapy Conference and the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists Annual Conferences.

Dr. Wedge lives in Oak Park, California with her husband Gene. They have three grown children and two grandchildren.

The post Pharmaceutical companies and doctors- Incentives for Dr’s to prescribe medications (Dr. Marilyn Wedge) appeared first on Fireitupwithcj.

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Adhd questions for doctors – What you should ask before turning to medications? What are the health risks posed by medications?

Back to series

About our Guest:

Marilyn Wedge, Ph.D., is a family therapist with more than twenty years of experience helping children, adolescents and families. She is the author of two books, both published by W. W. Norton: In the Therapist’s Mirror: Reality in the Making, and Suffer the Children:The Case against Labeling and Medicating and an Effective Alternative (soon to be out in paperback with the new title: Pills are not for Preschoolers). She is a blogger for the Huffington Post and her work has appeared in Babble, The Wall Street Journal, Natural Health, People Magazineand many other publications. She has been interviewed on CBS-San Francisco,San Diego Living, The Fanny Kiefer Show, and on national public radio (NPR).

Dr. Wedge is the originator of “strategic child-focused family therapy,” which empowers parents to help their children heal without labeling them with so-called “psychiatric disorders” or medicating them with psychotropic drugs.

Dr. Wedge earned her bachelor’s degree and her doctorate at the University of Chicago (where she was a Danforth Foundation Fellow), and had a post-doctoral fellowship at the Hastings Center for Bioethics in New York. She has taught at the California State University, East Bay, the College of the Art Institute of Chicago and the Chicago YMCA Community College. She is a popular speaker at national and international professional conferences, including the Milton Erickson Foundation Brief Therapy Conference and the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists Annual Conferences.

Dr. Wedge lives in Oak Park, California with her husband Gene. They have three grown children and two grandchildren.

The post Adhd questions for doctor -What kinds of questions should you ask your doctors? (Dr. Marilyn Wedge) appeared first on Fireitupwithcj.

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How can discipline work? What role does environment you create at home and diet effect your child? Is your teacher the best match for your kid?

Next Segment 3: Doctors incentives to prescribe medications: Dr. Wedge provides cases when children have been incorrectly medicated. How could family therapy solve some your problem child?

About our Guest:

Marilyn Wedge, Ph.D., is a family therapist with more than twenty years of experience helping children, adolescents and families. She is the author of two books, both published by W. W. Norton: In the Therapist’s Mirror: Reality in the Making, and Suffer the Children:The Case against Labeling and Medicating and an Effective Alternative (soon to be out in paperback with the new title: Pills are not for Preschoolers). She is a blogger for the Huffington Post and her work has appeared in Babble, The Wall Street Journal, Natural Health, People Magazineand many other publications. She has been interviewed on CBS-San Francisco,San Diego Living, The Fanny Kiefer Show, and on national public radio (NPR).

Dr. Wedge is the originator of “strategic child-focused family therapy,” which empowers parents to help their children heal without labeling them with so-called “psychiatric disorders” or medicating them with psychotropic drugs.

Dr. Wedge earned her bachelor’s degree and her doctorate at the University of Chicago (where she was a Danforth Foundation Fellow), and had a post-doctoral fellowship at the Hastings Center for Bioethics in New York. She has taught at the California State University, East Bay, the College of the Art Institute of Chicago and the Chicago YMCA Community College. She is a popular speaker at national and international professional conferences, including the Milton Erickson Foundation Brief Therapy Conference and the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists Annual Conferences.

Dr. Wedge lives in Oak Park, California with her husband Gene. They have three grown children and two grandchildren.

The post 7 Natural ways to address ADHD (Dr. Marilyn Wedge) appeared first on Fireitupwithcj.

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Is your child being misdiagnosed with ADHD, bipolar, or depression? When should medication be used?

Next segment: 7 Natural ways to address ADHD.

About our Guest:

Marilyn Wedge, Ph.D., is a family therapist with more than twenty years of experience helping children, adolescents and families. She is the author of two books, both published by W. W. Norton: In the Therapist’s Mirror: Reality in the Making, and Suffer the Children:The Case against Labeling and Medicating and an Effective Alternative (soon to be out in paperback with the new title: Pills are not for Preschoolers). She is a blogger for the Huffington Post and her work has appeared in Babble, The Wall Street Journal, Natural Health, People Magazineand many other publications. She has been interviewed on CBS-San Francisco,San Diego Living, The Fanny Kiefer Show, and on national public radio (NPR).

Dr. Wedge is the originator of “strategic child-focused family therapy,” which empowers parents to help their children heal without labeling them with so-called “psychiatric disorders” or medicating them with psychotropic drugs.

Dr. Wedge earned her bachelor’s degree and her doctorate at the University of Chicago (where she was a Danforth Foundation Fellow), and had a post-doctoral fellowship at the Hastings Center for Bioethics in New York. She has taught at the California State University, East Bay, the College of the Art Institute of Chicago and the Chicago YMCA Community College. She is a popular speaker at national and international professional conferences, including the Milton Erickson Foundation Brief Therapy Conference and the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists Annual Conferences.

Dr. Wedge lives in Oak Park, California with her husband Gene. They have three grown children and two grandchildren.

The post Diagnosing bipolar, depression, or ADHD in children, (Dr. Marilyn Wedge) appeared first on Fireitupwithcj.

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Four million American children have been diagnosed with ADHD and other psychiatric disorders despite dangerous emotional and physical side effects from psychotropic medications. Pills are not for Preschoolers draws on her years of experience with hundreds of children, teenagers and families in her new book. Join us as she shows how parents can be empowered to turn around their child’s problem behaviors safely and effectively, without the use of stigmatizing psychiatric labels or potentially harmful medications.

Show Highlights:

Segment 1: Diagnosing ADHD: Is your child being misdiagnosed with ADHD, bipolar, or depression? When should medication be uses?
Segment 2: 7 Natural ways to address ADHD: How can discipline work? What role does environment you create at home and diet effect your child? Is your teacher the best match for your kid?
Segment 3: Doctors incentives to prescribe medications: Dr. Wedge provides cases when children have been incorrectly medicated. How could family therapy solve some your problem child?
Segment 4: What kinds of questions can you ask doctors before turning to medications? What are the health risks posed by medications?

About our Guest:

Marilyn Wedge, Ph.D., is a family therapist with more than twenty years of experience helping children, adolescents and families. She is the author of two books, both published by W. W. Norton: In the Therapist’s Mirror: Reality in the Making, and Suffer the Children:The Case against Labeling and Medicating and an Effective Alternative (soon to be out in paperback with the new title: Pills are not for Preschoolers). She is a blogger for the Huffington Post and her work has appeared in Babble, The Wall Street Journal, Natural Health, People Magazineand many other publications. She has been interviewed on CBS-San Francisco,San Diego Living, The Fanny Kiefer Show, and on national public radio (NPR).

Dr. Wedge is the originator of “strategic child-focused family therapy,” which empowers parents to help their children heal without labeling them with so-called “psychiatric disorders” or medicating them with psychotropic drugs.

Dr. Wedge earned her bachelor’s degree and her doctorate at the University of Chicago (where she was a Danforth Foundation Fellow), and had a post-doctoral fellowship at the Hastings Center for Bioethics in New York. She has taught at the California State University, East Bay, the College of the Art Institute of Chicago and the Chicago YMCA Community College. She is a popular speaker at national and international professional conferences, including the Milton Erickson Foundation Brief Therapy Conference and the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists Annual Conferences.

Dr. Wedge lives in Oak Park, California with her husband Gene. They have three grown children and two grandchildren.

The post ADHD in children: What is ADHD? What are best ADHD treatments? (Dr. Marilyn Wedge) appeared first on Fireitupwithcj.

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Eldon Taylor offers insight and advice for self-hypnosis and for creating your own subliminal program.

Show Highlights:

Segment 1: Introduction to Hypnosis: What is hypnosis? How does it work? You’ll be shocked when you learn what % of our decisions are made by our unconscious. Listen to Segment 1
Segment 2: The Power of Hypnosis: What are the root causes of our fear? What are all the potential uses of hypnosis? Hear how Eldon Taylor used forensic hypnosis as a criminologist to reveal hidden facts in a criminal case. Listen to Segment 2
Segment 3: Subliminal Messages: What are subliminal messages? How are they different than affirmations? Listen to Segment 3
Segment 4: Creating your own empowering subliminal tape : Get a high level step-by-step instruction of what you need to do to create your own empowering sound track. Listen to Segment 4

About our Guest:

Eldon Taylor, Ph.D., is a world renowned author, dynamic speaker, former criminalist and one of the world’s foremost experts on preconscious information processing, who’s prestigious career over the past twenty-five years, has taken him to packed lecture halls throughout the U.S., U.K., Germany, Hong Kong, Mexico and Malaysia. His unique, charismatic and energetic style captivates his audiences, compelling them to take control of their life with a style and approach that is unique and empowering. He is the author of five books regarding the subject of subliminal communication and the inventor of the proven and patented technology InnerTalk®. Eldon is also the author of more than three hundred InnerTalk® personal empowerment audio and video programs and his work has been published in the likes of Newsweek and Annals of Psychotherapy. In his latest International best-selling book, Choices and Illusions, Eldon shares his life story, integrated with his work and research, that reveals how and why we get locked into self-imposed limitations and false self-images – negative “self-talk” — and demonstrates how we can retrain our mind with positive “self-talk.” Moreover, he qualifies us to make an immediate life change just by revealing how we can look at things differently and therefore affect our entire existence. Indeed, he makes the process of change so simple and clear that his readers and listeners alike walk away with the feeling of great hope and self-realization. Eldon believes that self-empowerment is a journey, not a rags-to-riches scheme. In fact, his business operates on a business model different from most. He offers many free products and website content designed just to help others. He shares his genuine and candid belief that the spiritual content of his programs and in his work are essential to the success of what he does and who he is, holding steadfast that this is what contributes to everyone’s happiness, health, and longevity—his research and data conclusively supporting these beliefs. Eldon has earned doctorates in clinical and pastoral psychology. He is an ordained interdenominational minister and a Fellow in the American Psychotherapy Association. Listed in more than a dozen Who’s Who publications, he was awarded the 2005 International Peace Prize by the United Cultural Convention for his “outstanding personal achievements to the good of society as a whole.”

The post Self-Hypnosis and Subliminal Technology (Eldon Taylor) appeared first on Fireitupwithcj.

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Sandra Ingerman, author of Shamanic Journeying: A Beginner’s Guide and Awakening to the Spirit World, offers her thoughts on what it means to vote from a spiritual perspective.

Show Highlights

Segment 2: Voting and making trade offs: How do you make trade-offs in voting between your own self interest versus societal needs? The needs of the environment or our needs for financial and personal security? Is the governments responsibility to take care of us?
Listen to Segment 1

About our Guest:

Sandra Ingerman, MA, is the author of eight books including Soul Retrieval, Medicine for the Earth, How to Heal Toxic Thoughts, and How to Thrive in Changing Times. With Sounds True, she has published the books Shamanic Journeying: A Beginner’s Guide and Awakening to the Spirit World: The Shamanic Path of Direct Revelation(coauthored with Hank Wesselman) as well as five audio programs, including Shamanic Meditations: Guided Journeys for Insight, Vision, and Healingand Soul Journeys: Music for Shamanic Practice.

The post Part 2 of 2: Sandra Ingerman: Voting and making trade offs from a spiritual perspective appeared first on Fireitupwithcj.

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Sandra Ingerman, author of Shamanic Journeying: A Beginner’s Guide and Awakening to the Spirit World, offers her thoughts on what it means to vote from a spiritual perspective.

Show Highlights

Segment 1: Voting from a spiritual perspective: What does it mean to vote from a spiritual perspective: What happens if we vote from a place of love and honor? How can we vote from a place of honor that respects life and earth?
Listen Next Segment 2

About our Guest:

Sandra Ingerman, MA, is the author of eight books including Soul Retrieval, Medicine for the Earth, How to Heal Toxic Thoughts, and How to Thrive in Changing Times. With Sounds True, she has published the books Shamanic Journeying: A Beginner’s Guide and Awakening to the Spirit World: The Shamanic Path of Direct Revelation(coauthored with Hank Wesselman) as well as five audio programs, including Shamanic Meditations: Guided Journeys for Insight, Vision, and Healingand Soul Journeys: Music for Shamanic Practice.

The post Part 1 of 2: Sandra Ingerman: Vote from a spiritual perspective appeared first on Fireitupwithcj.

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Sandra Ingerman, author of Shamanic Journeying: A Beginner’s Guide and Awakening to the Spirit World, offers her thoughts on what it means to vote from a spiritual perspective.

Show Highlights

Segment 1: Voting from a spiritual perspective: What does it mean to vote from a spiritual perspective: What happens if we vote from a place of love and honor? How can we vote from a place of honor that respects life and earth? Listen to Segment 1
Segment 2: Voting and making trade offs: How do you make trade-offs in voting between your own self interest versus societal needs? The needs of the environment or our needs for financial and personal security? Is the governments responsibility to take care of us? Listen to Segment 2

About our Guest:

Sandra Ingerman, MA, is the author of eight books including Soul Retrieval, Medicine for the Earth, How to Heal Toxic Thoughts, and How to Thrive in Changing Times. With Sounds True, she has published the books Shamanic Journeying: A Beginner’s Guide and Awakening to the Spirit World: The Shamanic Path of Direct Revelation(coauthored with Hank Wesselman) as well as five audio programs, including Shamanic Meditations: Guided Journeys for Insight, Vision, and Healingand Soul Journeys: Music for Shamanic Practice.

The post Vote from a spiritual perspective (A Shaman’s view- Sandra Ingerman) appeared first on Fireitupwithcj.

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Have you noticed that your spouse is probably not going to change? Why do couples fight? Discover how to go from “annoyed” to “enjoyed”. Learn from the cupid of consciousnesses how to create a happily ever after marriage.

About our Guest:

Arielle Ford is a leading pioneer and personality in the personal growth and contemporary spirituality movement. For the past 25 years she has been living, teaching, and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. Her stellar career includes years as a prominent book publicist, author, literary agent, TV lifestyle reporter, television producer, Sirius radio host, publishing consultant, relationship expert, speaker, columnist and blogger for the Huffington Post.

As the president of The Ford Group, Arielle was widely recognized as America’s foremost book publicist and was instrumental in launching the careers of many NY Times bestselling self-help authors including Deepak Chopra, Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Neale Donald Walsch, and Debbie Ford. Arielle was the publicist for dozens of other top selling authors such as Wayne Dyer, Gary Zukav, Dean Ornish, Joan Borysenko, Louise Hay, Jorge Cruise, and don Miguel Ruiz.

Arielle is a gifted writer and the author of seven books including the HOT CHOCOLATE FOR THE MYSTICAL SOUL series, and her most recent, THE SOULMATE SECRET, now in a 4th printing and 20 languages.

Sharing her wisdom about manifesting a soulmate, Arielle has been invited to speak at Omega Institute, Unity Village, Mile Hi Church, Celebrate Your Life, Conscious Living Expo, Your Best Life Ever, and many other high profile events. Her Soulmate column “Big Love” is syndicated to over 15 media outlets.

Her national TV credits include TODAY SHOW, NBC’s The Other Half, CNN and countless major market morning and news shows across the country. Arielle has been featured in USA TODAY (twice), Los Angeles Times, O Oprah magazine, Redbook, More, and First for Women. Her by-lined articles can be found at beliefnet.com, eharmony.com, gaiamlife.com, gaia.com intent.com and dozens of other sites.

Arielle is one of the founding partners of the Spiritual Cinema Circle, a subscriber-based monthly DVD club dedicated to providing movies about love and compassion. She is responsible for the rapid growth of this company that has now been acquired by Gaiam, Inc.

Arielle is also the creator of the at-home publishing study course Everything You Should Know About Publishing, Publicity and Building A Platform and the annual

21st Century Book Marketing event which is the premiere book-marketing event for authors.

Producer for the PBS pledge shows the Seven Spiritual Laws of Success and The Happiness Prescription, both featuring Deepak Chopra, Arielle is currently executive producer on a new documentary on “success” which is slated for release in Fall 2010.

She was recently hand selected as a member of the prestigious Evolutionary Leaders, an international organization founded by Deepak Chopra. Membership includes a lineup of more than 50 of the world’s leading experts in conscious evolution including Marianne Williamson, Jean Houston, Michael Beckwith, Barbara Marx Hubbard, Andrew Cohen, Don Beck, Joan Borysenko, Bruce Lipton, Gregg Braden, Peter Russell, Debbie Ford, James O’Dea and many other luminaries. Arielle co-chairs the EL Media Group with Lynne McTaggart.

Arielle is highly sought after and consulted for her laser insights, remarkable connections with everybody and anybody in the personal growth field, and her ability to make things and “miracles” happen nearly instantly.

Resources:

Website: http://arielleford.com/books/

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Learn a variety of life-enhancing skills, from attracting a soul mate to healing relationships through space and time to communicating with Divine guides, angels, and loved ones in spirit. Join us as Sara Wiseman uses her simple teachings and step-by-step exercises so that you can open up to your spirit guides, you intuition, and your psychic abilities. During the show, we’ll talk about all the resources in your toolbox for getting life answers.

About our Guest:

Spiritual teacher, author and intuitive Sara Wiseman experienced a spiritual awakening when she unexpectedly began to receive teachings which began “the purpose of life is soul growth.”

She is the author of Becoming Your Best Self, Writing the Divine and Your Psychic Child. An award-winning singer/songwriter, she has released four CDs with her band Martyrs of Sound. A popular presenter, she is a featured columnist for Retailing Insight, top contributor to DailyOM, and hosts her radio show, Ask Sara.

The post How to work with your spirit guides? (Sara Wiseman) appeared first on Fireitupwithcj.

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How can we start letting go of our kids and still stay connected? What are the best ways for parents to interact with teens as they seek more independence?

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About our Guests:

Julie Giesy Metzger began her nursing career at Seattle Children’s Hospital in 1981caring for hospitalized teens and their families in the adolescent unit. The experience of working with teens who managed their lives with resilience and strength solidified her passion for adolescents and their families. In graduate school at the University of Washington School Of Nursing, Julie pursued her passion through research analysis of the experiences of young women in puberty. Inspired by that work, Julie designed and delivered For Girls Only: A Heart to Heart Talk on Growing Up in 1988while living in Pittsburgh, PA—the class became a local hit.

In the early 1990’s, Julie returned to Seattle and began teaching For Girls Only at Seattle Children’s Hospital and launched what is now a perennial rite of passage for thousands of pre-teen girls and their mothers throughout the Puget Sound region and in Palo Alto at Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital. In addition to For Girls Only, Julie has written and taught curricula for teens that promote strategies for decision-making on health related topics and she recently co-authored a book on puberty.

Julie has been invited to numerous school and community groups to talk to parents about topics related to adolescence. Her encouraging, straightforward approach, matched with the latest research and strategies, have made her a popular presenter.

Julie’s professional and clinical experiences include managing a pediatric unit, teaching pediatric nursing, and facilitating projects at Seattle Children’s. She and her husband are parents of three young adults who have been the primary inspiration of her work.

Robert Lehman, MD completed his his training in Pediatrics in Denver, Colorado, Rob found his passion by pursuing additional fellowship training in Adolescent Medicine. Ever since, he has been working to promote health care for teens as a teacher, clinician, and policy developer.

Over the years, Rob has managed and practiced at teen clinics in a variety of settings, including public health, specialty referral, homeless teen clinics, reproductive health, incarcerated youth, college youth, and special projects involving youth with disabilities. He has practiced and taught primary care, reproductive health, chronic care and all other aspects of the unique health care needs of youth to health care professionals from various disciplines.

At present, he is continually thrilled to be teaching classes on puberty and sexual health, in giving talks to families and professionals on teen health, and has co-authored a book on puberty. Rob has also been active in health policy on state and national levels as chair of the Washington Health Coalition on Children and Youth, chair of the Northwest Chapter of the Society for Adolescent Medicine, Consultant in Adolescent Health for Public Health/Seattle & King County and held an executive position in the Society for AdolescentHealth and Medicine, the leading international professional organization devoted to teen health. Rob serves on the Seattle STD/HIV Prevention Training Center Advisory Board and is a Clinical Associate Professor of Pediatrics at the University of Washington.

The post Segment 4: Letting Go of Our Kids and Building Independence (Teen Experts: Rob Lehman and Julie Metzger) appeared first on Fireitupwithcj.

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yoganandam #kriya yoga, #Ananda, #Swami Asha Praver

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2 I did not see “Buy 1 liter of soda and get another for free” or “Buy 1 bag of chips and get the next half off” in the grocery stores I went into.

3 I never saw the French walking around with a bottle of soda, juice, and vitamin water in their hand. They consider eating and drinking in public rude.

4 Eating and drinking happens when one takes the time to sit and eat and enjoy.

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