When 1 out of 3 teens experience dating abuse before high school graduation, it’s all of our responsibility to work together to end abuse once and for all. The Ask Ava series, developed by teens in our SPEAK Teen Leadership Camps, is designed to connect with and educate teens about teen dating abuse and healthy relationships. We’ll be answering each week’s question with a deeper look here on our podcast. Listen alone, with a family member or trusted adult, or friend to get answers, gain more information about this important topic and learn about resources for teens and those that care about them.
Ask Ava, Ep. 269: "When is jealousy abusive?"
You have a right to spend time with your friends, and have hobbies and activities that are important to you outside of your relationship. Join us for the last part of our series looking at non-physical forms of abuse, as special guest Jessica Fernandez talks about how jealousy can be used as an excuse to isolate and control someone.
If you or someone you know need help, call and text our 24/7 helpline at 866-685-1122 for supportive listening, information, and connection to additional services. For more information, visit www.safe-sound.org
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Ask Ava, Ep. 268: "What does verbal abuse look like in an abusive relationship?"
Verbal abuse can be scary and have lasting impacts. Hear from special guest Jessica Fernandez about how to recognize verbal abuse in this third installment of our series looking at different types of abuse.
If you or someone you know needs help, contact our 24/7 Call and Text Helpline at 866-685-1122. For more information, visit www.safe-sound.org
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Ask Ava, Ep. 267: "How can you recognize gaslighting?"
Gaslighting is when someone uses manipulation and lies to purposely make you question your reality and your experiences. In the second installment of a 4-part Ask Ava series exploring different types of abuse, special guest Jessica Fernandez talks about how to recognize and respond to gaslighting.
If you or someone you know needs help, you can reach out to Safe+Sound Somerset's 24/7 Call and Text Helpline at 866-685-1122. For more information, visit www.safe-sound.org.
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Ask Ava, Ep. 266: "What is financial abuse?"
Today we're launching a new 4-part Ask Ava series highlighting different types of abuse besides physical violence. In this episode, special guest Jessica Fernandez talks about the warning signs of financial abuse - when somene gains power and control over another person by manipulating their finances, employment, or education
If you or someone you know need help, you can call and text our 24/7 helpline at 866-685-1122. For more information, visit www.safe-sound.org.
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Ask Ava, Ep. 264: "How can I set boundaries without being mean?"
Setting boundaries is a form of self-love; creating safety for YOU is not mean to someone else. Special guest Jessica Fernandez joins us to talk about how setting boundaries can be an act of healing and empowerment!
If you or someone you know needs help, reach out to our 24/7 Call and Text Helpline at 866-685-1122. For more information, visit www.safe-sound.org
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Ask Ava, Ep. 265: "How can teens protect themselve against dating abuse when they start dating?"
Before dating, it can be helpful to identify your goals for relationship and feel confident in your right to make your own choices, set boundaries, and give or deny consent. Along with learning the red flags of abusive relationships, these may be helpful tools in building healthy, safe relationships.
Safe+Sound Somerset's 24/7 Call and Text Helpline at 866-685-1122 can provide information, supportive listening, safety planning, and referrals. To learn more, you can visit our website at www.safe-sound.org
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Ask Ava, Ep. 263: "How can I help my friend in an abusive relationship?"
It's important to show your friend you believe them and support their decisions with care and concern, not with judgement. Join us as special guest Jessica Fernandez shares how her friends helped her through a difficult time.
To speak with an expert, call or text our 24/7 helpline at 866-685-1122. For more information, visit www.safe-sound.org
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Ask Ava, Ep. 262: "Why is it important to have men doing domestic and sexual violence prevention?"
Join us for a special conversation with Safe+Sound Somerset's Community Outreach and Community Engagement Manager, Victor Peralta, as he talks about a recent conversation with someone who was surprised to see a man doing domestic and sexual violence education.
Domestic and sexual violence impact people regardless of gender or sexual orientation, and it will take EVERYONE working together to end abuse once and for all!
To speak with an expert, call or text our 24/7 helpline at 866-685-1122. For more information, visit www.safe-sound.org.
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Ask Ava, Ep. 262: "How can I tell my current partner about my past sexual assault?"
You deserve to be believed and to not be blamed for the sexual assault. Let your partner know how you need them to listen and support you, and give them space for their own reaction as well. Safe+Sound Somerset is here for both of you. Call and text our 24/7 helpline at 866-685-1122 for supportive listening, information, and referrals to services. For more information, visit www.safe-sound.org
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Ask Ava, Ep. 260: "What are the impacts of teen dating violence?"
Experiencing teen dating violence can have devasting impacts on individuals and whole communities. Join us as we talk about some of the effects of teen dating violence AND flip the script to talk about the positive impacts of healthy, safe relationships.
If you or someone you know needs help, you can call and text our 24/7 helpline at 866-685-1122. For more information, visit www.safe-sound.org.
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Ask Ava, Ep. 259: "What are some red flags of abuse besides physical violence?"
Red flag behaviors are actions that someone else uses to take away or violate your right to make your own decisions, set boundaries, and give consent. Special guest Jessica Fernandez joins Ask Ava to share some of her personal experiences as we discuss red flags of abuse besides physical violence.
If you or someone you know needs help, call and text our 24/7 helpline at 866-685-1122. For more information, visit www.safe-sound.org
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Ask Ava, Ep. 258: "I'm experiencing emotional abuse...how can I get others to take me seriously?"
You deserve to feel safe. Emotional abuse violates our right to make our own choices, set boundaries and give consent. Center your feelings when you communicate with others, and let them know how they can support you. If you or someone you know needs help, call and text our 24/7 helpline at 866-685-1122. We believe survivors!
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Ask Ava, Ep. 257: Do victims share a responsibility for their assault because of the clothes they wear or the situations they put themselves in?
NO! Assault only happens because the assaulter chooses to commit the assault. This question is an example of victim-blaming, and makes it harder for survivors to get the support they need. We believe survivors! Learn more on today’s episode of the Ask Ava podcast.
If you or someone you know need help, call and text our 24/7 helpline at 866-685-1122. For more information, visit www.safe-sound.org
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Ask Ava Ep. 256: “What is Denim Day?”
Denim Day is a global day of action where people make a fashion statement in support of survivors and to prevent sexual violence. Learn more about Denim Day and how you can make a difference on this week’s episode of Ask Ava!
If you or someone you know needs help, call and text our 24/7 helpline at 866-685-1122 or visit www.safe-sound.org for more information.
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Ask Ava, Ep. 255: Is a Big Age Gap in a Relationship Bad?
It depends….are there legal concerns? Does the age gap impact someone’s ability to make choices, set boundaries and freely give consent? In this episode of Ask Ava, we explore ways to help determine if an age gap is creating a harmful or dangerous imbalance of power and control.
If you or someone you know need help, call or text our 24/7 helpline at 866-685-1122. Visit safe-sound.org for more information.
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Ask Ava, Ep. 254: Why is Sexual Assault Awareness Month Important?
Together We Act, United We Change! April 2025 is Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM). Listen to this week’s Ask Ava podcast to learn how you can share information, support survivors, and prevent violence in recognition of SAAM.
If you or someone you know need help, call and text our 24/7 helpline at 866-685-1122. Visit safe-sound.org for more information
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Ask Ava, Ep. 253: What Can We Learn From the "American Murder: Gabby Petito" True-Crime Series?
The recently released true-crime series soared to the number one show on Netflix and brought the horrific murder of Gabby Petito back in the spotlight of social media. Join the Safe+Sound Somerset Outreach team as they discuss what we can learn from the show about relationship violence, red flags, and how to help a friend.
If you or someone you know need help, reach out to Safe+Sound Somerset's 24/7 helpline at 866-685-1122.
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Ep. 252: What is the Nonfatal Strangulation and Smothering Response Team?
Join us for this special episode with guest Andrea Treadwell, who talks with us about the dangers of strangulation and smothering and answers common questions we receive about the Safe+Sound Somerset Nonfatal Strangulation and Smothering Response Team
Safe+Sound Somerset's 24/7 Call and Text Helpline: 866-685-1122
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Episode 251: What if someone says 'your body, my choice'?
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Ep. 250: "What if my partner needs to approve my social media posts?"
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Ep. 249: "What if my partner makes me change what I wear?"
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Ep. 248: "What if my friend stops hanging out with me because of their partner?"
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Ep. 247: "What are some green flags of a good friend?"
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Ep. 246: "How can I leave my partner safely?"
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Ep. 245: "What if my partner is pressuring me to buy them gifts I can’t afford?"
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Ep. 244: "What if someone is bothering me at work?"
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Ep. 243: "What if I want to leave, but my partner has been joking about suicide?"
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Ep. 242: "What if I feel guilty for saying 'no' to sex?"
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Ep. 241: "How can I show others that I’m a safe person?"
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Ep. 240: "How do I know someone’s boundaries when it comes to sex?"
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Ep. 239: "What if my partner keeps asking about sex, but I’m not ready?"
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Ep. 238: "Can you take away consent after sex is over?"
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Ep. 237: "What if someone is bothering me at school?"
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Ep. 236: "How many people lie about rape?"
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Ep. 235: "What if I pressured myself into having sex before I was ready?"
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Ep. 233: "What if my partner wants my GPS location, but I’m uncomfortable?"
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Ep. 230: "What if my partner keeps trying to talk to me like nothing happened?"
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Episode 229: "What if someone says, 'I was just drunk, it won’t happen again?'"
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Episode 227: "What are some ways a friend can manipulate you mentally?"
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Episode 225: "If someone throws things and calls me names, is that abuse?"
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Episode 224: "What if I want to say no to sex, but I am scared they will get mad?"
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Episode 220: "What are the signs that someone is love bombing their partner?"
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Episode 218: "What if an old friend starts saying sexual things, and I’ve told them to stop?"
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Episode 217: "What if I don't trust anyone enough to tell them I'm being sexually harassed?"
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Episode 216: "Are people bullying me about my sexuality because I’m different?"
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Episode 215: "What are signs that your partner respects you in a healthy way?"
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Episode 213: "What if I go home with someone, but I don’t want to have sex?"
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Episode 212: "What if I don’t like the way my friend’s partner is treating them?"
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Episode 211: "Can someone get help now if sexual assault happened a long time ago?"
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Episode 208: "What is the difference between sexual harassment and sexual assault?"
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Episode 201: “What if I didn’t want to have sex, but I gave in because I felt pressured?”
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Episode 200: “What if my partner is upset that I don’t trust them with my private photos and videos?”
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Episode 199: “Why don’t some survivors talk about the abuse they went through?”
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Episode 197: “If I know I’m going to be drinking, can I give my partner consent beforehand?”
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Episode 196: “What if my friends are pressuring me into having sex with someone?”
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Episode 194: "How can I stop questioning that the abuse happened to me?"
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Episode 193: "What if my partner makes me feel guilty for seeing my family?"
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Episode 190: "What if my partner is struggling with their mental health?"
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Episode 188: "What if my partner shows me porn without my permission?"
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Episode 187: "Why is sexual assault so bad, if there isn’t a pregnancy?”
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Episode 182: "What if I'm the strong person in the relationship, and I know I can change them?"
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Episode 180: "Is it sexual assault to pressure someone into sexual activity?"
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Episode 179: "Why don't people believe victims or survivors of sexual assault?"
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Episode 178: "What if I remember abuse from when I was younger, and I need support now?"
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Episode 176: "Why is it harmful to expect my partner to always answer texts?"
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Episode 175: "What kind of trouble do people get into for crimes like sexual assault?"
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Episode 174: "If my friend is scared, can I report sexual harassment to the school?"
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Episode 171: "What should I do if my partner threatens to hurt my family?"
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Episode 170: "How do I get rid of guilt I feel for saying 'no' to sex?"
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Episode 168: Ask Ava Anything! - "What if my partner threatens to 'out' me?"
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Episode 167: "What if I still have to see the person who sexually assaulted me?"
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Episode 166: "What if I told my parents about abuse, but they didn’t do anything?"
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Episode 165: "What can bystanders do if they see sexual harassment in public?"
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Episode 164: "What if I consented to sexual activity, but I didn't know what I was agreeing to?"
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Episode 163: "Should I watch adult content so I know what partners expect of me?"
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"What is the purpose of your Safe House?"
Go Fund Me to support a new Safe House for survivors in Somerset County, NJ: https://www.gofundme.com/f/wath3e
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Episode 162: "What if I want to break up, but I rely on my partner's money?"
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Episode 161: "What if my partner is disappointed because I don't want to have sex?"
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A special episode of Ask Ava where we answer three questions from this month:
-"If something isn't about sex, why is it considered sexual harassment?" -specifically gay slurs and asking someone out over and over
-"What if my partner gets aggressive when they drink, and they apologize after?"
-"Why don't they just dump them? They're toxic!"
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Episode 158: "What if I'm afraid to tell anyone about someone sexually assaulting me?"
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Episode 156: "What if my partner is sharing private photos of me without my permission?"
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Episode 155: "How can you tell someone to back off without hurting their feelings or the relationship?"
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Episode 154: "What’s the difference between love bombing and someone genuinely wanting to make me happy?"
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Episode 153: "What if someone keeps making fun of my sexual orientation?"
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Episode 152: "What does blackmail from a partner look like in real life?"
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Episode 151: "Why is teen pregnancy more common in abusive relationships?"
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Episode 149: "What if they are toxic, but I love them and don't want to leave?"
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Episode 147: "What if my partner pressures me to change my plans after graduation, for them?"
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Episode 146: "What if my partner lets me use their car, but expects me to pay them back with sex?"
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Episode 144: "What if my partner keeps bothering me while I'm working?"
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Episode 143: "What if my partner gives me gifts, but holds them against me later?"
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Episode 142: "Up until what point during sex can I change my mind, and take away consent?"
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Episode 141: "What if my friend says, 'If you really love me, you'd have sex with me'?"
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Episode 140: "What if my partner is guilting me into paying for all of our dates?"
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Episode 139: "What can I do if my partner makes me feel trapped in the relationship?"
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Episode 137: "What if my friend is being distant now that they’re in a relationship?"
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Episode 136: "How do I tell my friends I’m being abused, if they are friends with my abuser?"
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Episode 135: "How do you know your partner feels uncomfortable if they hide it?"
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Episode 134: "What if my partner is pressuring me to skip class or drop out?"
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Episode 130: "If we talk about having sex before we start drinking, is it still consensual?"
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Episode 129: "What if my partner is pressuring me to pay them back with sex?"
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Episode 128: "How does the Sexual Assault Response Team support teens?"
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Episode 126b: "If I'm 14 and have sex with a 16-year-old, is that rape?"
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Episode 126: "What if I want to break up, but I'm afraid of my partner's friends?"
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Episode 125: "What if my partner is forcing me to share my social media passwords?"
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Episode 121: "What if my partner is upset, because I'm friends with my ex?"
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Episode 120: "What if my partner is guilting me into not using birth control?"
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Episode 119: "What if I experience sexual harassment in the workplace from a boss?"
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Episode 116: "What if I need help, but I can't trust any adults in my life?"
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Episode 113: "How do you break up with someone who might fall apart if I leave?"
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Episode 112: "What if my partner calls me a tease, because I don't want to have sex?"
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Episode 111: "Was there gaslighting in Taylor Swift's 'All Too Well' music video?"
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Episode 109: "Do disabled people experience sexual abuse?"
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Episode 108: "What does rape culture look like?"
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Episode 107: "What can I do if my friend has been sexually assaulted?"
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Episode 106: "What services are there for survivors of sexual assault?"
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Episode 105: "What are some red flags in 'Twilight?'"
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Episode 104: "Do men get abused physically?"
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Episode 103: "What can I do if my friend's partner is pressuring them to have sex?"
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Episode 102: "What can abuse look like for transgender and nonbinary people?"
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Episode 101: "How can I stop myself from controlling my partner?"
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Episode 100: "Why is 'simping' a harmful term?"
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Episode 99: "Can abuse happen if you both love each other?"
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Episode 98: "Why do people stay in abusive relationships?"
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Episode 97: "Does what I wear cause sexual violence?"
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Episode 96: "What can intimate partner violence look like for disabled people?"
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Episode 95: "What is revenge porn and why is it a big deal?"
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Episode 94: "What if my partner has heavy trust issues from past relationships?"
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Episode 93: "What exactly does stalking look like?"
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Episode 92: "How do you stay safe when you are dating someone new?"
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Episode 91: "Can someone consent if they are drunk?"
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Episode 90: "Does domestic violence stop over the holidays?"
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Episode 89: "What does sexual violence look like in a relationship?"
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Episode 88: "Can I heal my abusive partner?"
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Episode 87: "What should I do if my partner is only abusive once?"
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Episode 86: "What does intimidation look like in a relationship?"
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Episode 85: "What can I do if my friend is abusing their partner?"
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Episode 84: "Why do people have trouble believing survivors of abuse?"
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Episode 83: "Why is it hard for some survivors of abuse to tell their stories?"
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Episode 82: "Why is emotional abuse so harmful?"
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Episode 81: "What services are available to survivors of abuse?"
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Episode 80: "Why is domestic violence a community issue?"
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Episode 79: "If a friend treats you badly, should you confront them?" (Updated!)
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Episode 78: "Does alcohol cause abuse?"
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Episode 77: "What can I do if my partner is blackmailing me?"
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Episode 76: "How do I know I have a healthy friendship?"
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Episode 75: "How can I help my partner, who is struggling with their mental health?" (Updated!)
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Episode 74: "What does a healthy relationship look like?" (Updated!)
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Episode 73: "What happens when I call or text the Safe+Sound Somerset hotline?" (Updated!)
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Episode 72: "What are the warning signs of an abusive relationship?" (Updated!)
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Episode 71: "How can I help a friend in an abusive relationship?" (Updated!)
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Episode 70: "What Can I Do If My Partner Threatens to Hurt My Ex?"
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Episode 69: "How Do I Know My Partner is Gaslighting Me?"
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Episode 68: "Can Teens Develop PTSD from Abusive Relationships?"
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Episode 67: "What If My Partner is Pressuring Me to Send Naked Pictures?"
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Episode 66: "What If My Stress and Anxiety Affect My Partner?"
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Episode 65: "What are the Most Ignored Warning Signs of Abusive Relationships?"
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Episode 64: "What if the Adults Don't Believe Me?"
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Episode 63: "What is a Safety Plan?"
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Episode 62: "Does Abuse Happen in LGBTQ+ Relationships?"
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Episode 61: "Why Do People Abuse Their Partners?"
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Episode 60: "If They Have Nothing to Hide, Why Won't They Share Their Password?"
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Episode 59: "What Is Victim-Blaming and Why Does It Matter?"
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Episode 58: "How Do I Tell Someone They Are Moving Too Fast?"
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Episode 57: Consent Series - "Am I Leading My Partner On If I Change My Mind?"
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Episode 56: Consent Series - "What is the Difference Between Sexual Harassment and Sexual Assault?"
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Episode 55: Consent Series - "How Can I Support a Friend Who Has Been Sexually Assaulted?"
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Episode 54: Consent Series - "Does 'Yes' Always Mean 'Yes?'"
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Episode 53: Consent Series - "Do I Have to Have Sex if I'm in a Relationship?"
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Episode 52: Helping a Friend series - "What Should I Do If My Friend's Parents are Abusing Them?"
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Episode 51: Helping a Friend series - "How Can I Be an Active Bystander in Difficult Situations?"
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Episode 50: Helping a Friend Series - "Should I Get Involved with My Friend's Toxic Relationship?"
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Episode 49: Helping a Friend series - "What If I Feel Guilty Because I Missed Warning Signs in My Friend's Relationship?"
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Episode 48: "What If I'm Ashamed or Scared to Reach Out for Help?"
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Episode 47: "What Are Some MORE Myths about Teen Dating Abuse?"
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Episode 46: "What Are Some Myths about Teen Dating Abuse?"
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Episode 45: "What is Teen Dating Violence and How Can I Help End It?"
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Episode 44: Helping a Friend series - "When Should I Get An Adult Involved in Difficult Situations?"
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Episode 43: Helping a Friend series - "How Do You Help a Friend in Denial About Their Abusive Relationship?"
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Episode 42: "What Do I Do If My Partner is Jealous of My Friends?"
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Episode 41: "How Do I Know That I Can Trust My Partner?"
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Episode 40: Holiday series - "What Are Some Healthy New Year Goals for My Relationship?"
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Episode 39: Holiday series - "How Much Arguing is 'Too Much' In Front of Company?"
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Episode 38: Holiday series - "Is It Healthy if my Partner Gives Me a Gift, and Expects Something in Return?"
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Episode 37: Holiday series - "How Do I Know That My Partner is Purposefully Keeping Me from Others?"
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Episode 36: Holiday series - "What Can I Do If My Partner's Parents Won't Accept Me?"
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Episode 35: Holiday series - "I’m Stressed Out! How Do I Make Sure My Relationship Stays Healthy?"
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Episode 34: "How Do I Rebuild My Confidence After an Abusive Relationship?"
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Episode 33: "How Long Does It Take to Heal from an Abusive Relationship?"
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Episode 32: "How Do Restraining Orders Work?"
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Episode 31: "Is it Anger Management if My Partner Punches a Hole in the Wall Next to Me?"
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Episode 30: "Why Is Cyberbullying So Serious?"
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Episode 29: "“How Can I Get Involved with Ending Domestic Violence in my Community?"
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Episode 28: "What Do I Do if I'm Afraid to Leave My Partner?"
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Episode 27: "Why Don't Teens in Abusive Relationships Just Leave?"
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Episode 26: "What are the Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship?"
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Healthy Relationships Series - "How Do I Break Up With My Partner in a Respectful Way?"
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Healthy Relationships series - "What If My Boyfriend Expects Me to Answer Texts Immediately, But It Makes Me Anxious?"
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Healthy Relationships series - "What If My Girlfriend Wants My GPS Location, But I Value My Privacy?"
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Healthy Relationships series - "How Do You Argue Respectfully in a Healthy Relationship?"
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Healthy Relationships series - "What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like?"
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"How Can I Protect Myself From An Ex?"
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"How Can I Apologize To An Ex For My Behavior?"
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"Can An Abusive Relationship Become Healthy?"
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"What If I Feel Guilty for Leaving My Partner, Who Has a Mental Health Condition?"
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"What do I do if my partner struggles with depression and anxiety, and won't get help?"
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"How do you help someone who is trapped in an abusive relationship by their partner threatening suicide?"
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Friends series - "How can I help my friend who has attempted suicide in the past?"
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Friends series - "How can I help my friend who is thinking about suicide?"
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Friends series - "Why do my friends overreact when I joke about them?"
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Friends series - "How do you break up with a toxic friend?"
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Friends series - "If your friend treats you badly, should you confront them?"
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Friends Series - "How do I know I have a true friend?"
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Blackmail in Teen Relationships
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How to Help a Friend by Reporting Child Abuse
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Helping A Survivor in the Aftermath of an Abusive Relationship
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Jealousy in Teen Relationships
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Ask Ava + COVID-19: Mindfulness Activities
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Ask Ava + COVID-19: How To Help When a Friend's Behavior Changes
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Ask Ava + COVID-19: Tips for Schoolwork from Home
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Substance Use as an Excuse for Abuse
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What To Expect When You Call the Safe+Sound Somerset Hotline
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How to Help a Friend in an Abusive Relationship
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