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What does success really look like—and who gets to define it?

In the final episode of this three-part conversation, Dr. Kim sits down with Tom Pfeiffer to talk about the subtle ways we drift from our priorities without even realizing it. Together they unpack why saying "yes" to every good opportunity can cost us what matters most, how small daily habits shape the life we're building, and why true success isn't measured by titles or achievements but by living a life that's aligned with your values.

Whether you're feeling stuck, stretched too thin, or simply wondering if you're chasing the right things, this conversation will challenge you to slow down, evaluate what's most important, and take one intentional step toward the life God is calling you to live.

Episode Highlights: * Learn how "priority drift" quietly pulls you away from what matters most—and how to stop it. * Why chasing alignment instead of success leads to greater freedom, purpose, and peace. * Simple daily habits that create lasting change, both personally and professionally. * Practical encouragement to stop waiting for the perfect moment and start taking the next right step.

Quotes from This Episode: Tom Pfeifer:

1. "Priority drift doesn't happen all at once. It's one extra meeting, one extra commitment, one extra 'yes.'"
2. "Every time you say yes to something, you're saying no to something else."
3. "Success is what other people can see. Alignment is when the life you're living matches the values you say you have."
4. "The best decision I ever made was to stop chasing success and start chasing alignment."
5. "Sports are supposed to be fun. You're not going to war."
6. "So many of the things we worry about are first-world problems."
7. "Don't quit your job tomorrow. Start stacking proof one day at a time."
8. "Your habits become discipline, and discipline will always outlast motivation."
9. "Everyone has the same 24 hours. It's not about having time—it's about the choices you make."
10. "Just do the thing. Take the first step and let tomorrow build on today."

Dr. Kim Kimberling: 1. "Culture doesn't pull us away from what matters overnight—it happens one small drift at a time." 2. "When we say yes to too many good things, we often end up saying no to the people who matter most." 3. "The hardest part of protecting your priorities is learning to say no." 4. "You don't always realize you're drifting until you look up and wonder how you got so far from what matters." 5. "Don't get impatient. Big life changes are built one step at a time." 6. "Working out changes far more than your body—it changes your confidence and your mindset." 7. "One day stacked on another becomes a habit, and habits shape the life you live." 8. "Ask yourself: Are you drifting? And if you are, where is that drift taking you?" 9. "The best opportunities aren't always the ones that align with your priorities." 10. "You have to define success for yourself instead of letting culture define it for you."

Time to Talk About It: 1. Where have you noticed "priority drift" in your own life, and what's one step you can take to realign with what matters most? 2. How do you currently define success? Has that definition changed over the years? 3. What's one habit or daily choice that could help you become more intentional with your time, relationships, or calling?

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Money is one of the biggest sources of conflict in marriage—but it doesn't have to be.

In this episode, Dr. Kim sits down with financial coaches Dan and Kay Ockey to talk about why money is so much more than numbers. They unpack how family backgrounds, emotions, communication, and faith all shape the way couples handle finances. You'll also hear practical steps for getting on the same page, creating healthy financial habits, and replacing fear with faithful stewardship.

Whether you're trying to pay off debt, build a budget, or simply have better conversations about money, this episode will encourage you to work as a team and steward what God has entrusted to you with confidence and purpose.

Episode Highlights:

Money is emotional. Learn how your past influences the way you spend, save, and give today.

Communication changes everything. Discover why a simple weekly financial check-in can strengthen your marriage.

Budgets create freedom, not limitations. Learn practical tools for managing money together with confidence.

Stewardship starts with trust. See how viewing your finances through God's perspective can bring greater peace and purpose.

Quotes from this Episode:

Dr. Kim Kimberling * "Money can quietly create stress and distance in a marriage if we're not intentional." * "Take a chance. Throw caution to the wind and say, 'God, I'm all in.' You'll see Him show up." * "A budget doesn't restrict your freedom—it gives you freedom because you know where your money is going." * "Your kids are watching your marriage. The way you steward your relationship becomes their textbook for the future."

Dan Ockey * "Most couples agree on where they want to go—they just disagree on how to get there." * "Everything we have belongs to God. Isn't it worth taking 20 minutes each week to talk about how we're stewarding it?" * "Data over drama. Acknowledge the emotions, then let the numbers show you reality." * "When we approach money with fear, we make fear-based decisions. When we approach it with faith, we become better stewards." * "The long-term consequences of hiding financial struggles are far worse than the short-term pain of an honest conversation."

Kay Ockey * "Money isn't just dollars and cents. There's so much emotion underneath every financial decision." * "The timing of your communication is huge. Don't spring financial conversations on your spouse." * "A simple weekly financial check-in can completely change the way you communicate about money." * "Just because you're an adult doesn't mean you automatically know how to handle money. It's a skill that can be learned." * "When you're overwhelmed, don't lose sight of having a goal that gives you hope and something to work toward together."

Time to Talk About it:

1. What messages about money did you learn growing up, and how do they still influence the way you handle finances today?
2. How can we create a regular time to talk about money so it feels like we're working together instead of against each other?
3. What is one financial goal we can begin pursuing together this month that would strengthen both our marriage and our trust in God?

Mentioned in This Episode:

• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!
• Money doesn't have to bring tension to your marriage. Check out the Money Masterclass with Dan and Kay
• Check in weekly with your spouse.

• 27 Money Questions Every Couple Needs to Ask

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. You and your spouse need encouragement to steward your money in marriage well. Check out Biblical Wisdom for Money in Marriage.

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive exclusive content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy as well as our resource of the month! Become a Marriage Changer today!

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What if the biggest thing holding you back isn't a lack of opportunity, but fear?

In part two of Dr. Kim's conversation with Tom Pfeiffer, they explore what it takes to step into the life God is calling you to live. Tom shares how walking away from a successful legal career taught him that waiting for certainty often keeps us from taking the very steps that lead to growth.

Together, they discuss the cost of inaction, learning to let go of other people's opinions, changing the trajectory of your family legacy, and why being fully present with your spouse and children is one of the greatest investments you'll ever make.

Whether you're facing a career decision, feeling stuck, or simply wanting to live with greater purpose, this conversation will encourage you to stop waiting for the "perfect time" and start making intentional choices today.

Episode Highlights:

Stop waiting for certainty—action creates clarity.

Don't let other people's opinions dictate your future.

Choose presence with your family over the pursuit of success.

Build a legacy you'll be proud to look back on.

Quotes from this Conversation:

Tom Pfeiffer

• "We always think you need certainty before action. But I think it's the opposite."
• "We never really contemplate the cost of inaction. What did I miss by not doing that?"
• "Far too often, you'll look back when you're 60, 70, or 80 years old and say, 'Man, I wish I did that.'"
• "I honestly stopped caring what people think. It's a daily practice, but it's life-changing."
• "Write down the names of the people whose opinions actually matter to you. I'll bet you're done in 30 seconds."
• "The majority of people who have an opinion about what you're doing are usually just afraid to do it themselves."
• "I was more afraid of staying where I was and not being a present dad than I was of making the change."
• "It's not going to say 'JD' or 'Doctor' on your tombstone. It's going to say father, husband, son. Those are the things that matter."
• "There are moments in life that are the last time you'll ever do something—and most of the time, you don't even know it."
• "Sports are a vehicle for life. You have to be okay with adversity because that's where growth happens."
• "You have to be okay with delayed gratification. You're going to crawl, then walk, then jog, then run."
• "The version of you that you present every day is the driving factor behind the life you build."

Dr. Kim Kimberling

• "There's such a profound satisfaction that comes from being the person who changes your family lineage."
• "Most people don't think about us nearly as much as we think they do."
• "If they're not on your list, don't give their opinion power over your life."
• "Your spouse and your kids will know if you're not being who God created you to be."
• "What's really important is the dash between the dates. What did you do with your time?"
• "You can always find time for your family if you decide they're a priority."
• "Your kids won't remember the career you built. They'll remember that you were there."
• "If you're becoming the person God created you to be, everyone around you benefits."

Time to Talk About it:

Where in your life are you waiting for certainty before taking a step of faith, and what might happen if you took action instead?

Whose opinions have the biggest influence on your decisions, and are those the people whose voices should matter most?

If your spouse or children described what you prioritize with your time, what would they say—and does that align with the legacy you want to leave?

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Just when you thought you couldn't love Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy more—this episode takes things to a whole new level. With honesty and heart, they open up about the real journey of their marriage—sharing the intentional choices, tough seasons, and deep faith that carried them through. From early challenges that could have pulled them apart to the daily decisions that drew them closer, their story reflects what's possible when a couple chooses to build on the foundation of Christ. Their marriage is both relatable and inspiring—a powerful reminder that when God is kept first, a marriage doesn't just survive—it thrives.

Episode Highlights:

Marriage takes intentionality.

Awesome marriages don't happen naturally.

No matter where your marriage is at there is hope!

Quotes from this Episode:

I think we had to build true love in our marriage.

We've learned to build bit by bit.

I thought if I loved you enough everything was going to be ok.

Until you realize how much God loves you as a person you aren't truly free to love another person.

Divorce isn't a word in our vocabulary anymore, commitment is!

Just getting married doesn't mean you won't feel alone.

Couple's Conversation Guide: 1. What part of Dr. Kim and Nancy's story felt most relatable or surprising to you? Why? 2. Have you ever assumed love alone would be enough to fix everything? How has your view of love and commitment changed over time? 3. Have there been moments where one (or both) of you felt alone in your marriage? What helped reconnect you—or what could help now? 4. Is "divorce" or emotional withdrawal ever subtly present as an option in your mindset or language? What does it look like to choose commitment every day? 5. How can you better prioritize keeping God first in your marriage this week? 6. What's one thing you want to be intentional about after listening to this episode—together or individually?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Find Dr. Kim on Instagram
• We believe that keeping marriage fun means date night can't be boring. Check out our Date Night Boosters. Reignite the fun and intimacy in your date nights with your spouse.

• Awesome Marriage swag is now LIVE! Grab a gift for you, your spouse or another couple. There's something for everyone.

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word as you intentionally choose to build a thriving marriage, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: Celebrating Differences in Marriage

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive this month's resource.

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Joining me today are Dave and Ann Wilson who have written a brand new book about what it looks like to speak life into our marriages; not just with the words we say, but also in the thoughts we choose to dwell on. We'll talk about why trying to be your spouse's Holy Spirit never works, why kindness is actually one of the most rebellious things we can do in today's world, and how reframing our inner dialogue can change the way we manage conflict.

Whether you've been shouting to be heard, or quietly holding back the pain of unspoken expectations, today's conversation will offer biblical wisdom, practical tools, and fresh hope for building a marriage that reflects Christ's love. We pray this episode encourages you!

Episode Highlights:

How you approach the conversation matters.

Hope and joy can only be in the Lord.

Your words have the power to build up or tear down your spouse.

Gratitude for your spouse can change your perspective of your spouse.

Quotes from Today's Episode:

"Men go where they're affirmed. They go there." - Dave Wilson

"I realize like when I'm in the Word, I look at things different. I look at the world different. I look at Dave different. And it started, God's Word started to change me." - Ann Wilson

But there's something that's really holy about seeing greatness in a person and being able to communicate it in some way." - Ann Wilson

"I had put all my hopes and dreams in Dave. I'd taken them off of Jesus and I was like, you could make me happy. And it's easy to get into that rut of like, if you would just do X, Y, Z, I could be more content." - Ann Wilson

God's given us to each other to sharpen one another- Dave Wilson

Speak life to your husband. Bring him back to be the man God created him to be.

We can help shape how our husbands and how our kids feel about themselves, but we have to first connect with Jesus. - Ann Wilson

What good does it do to only think of the negative?

When I'm in the Word, I see the world different. I see Dave different.

You can't say everything you feel!

Couples' Conversation Guide:

1. How do we typically approach hard conversations with each other—and what could we do to make those moments feel safer and more affirming?
2. Have we unintentionally placed our hope or happiness in each other instead of in God? What would it look like to shift that back to Jesus as our source of joy?
3. What is one thing I genuinely admire or am grateful for in you that I may not say often enough? How can we be more intentional about calling out the good in each other?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Find Dave and Ann Wilson on IG.
• How to Speak Life to Your Husband When All You Want to do is Yell at Him on Amazon
• Dave and Ann Wilson's podcast: FamilyLife Today

• Help your children write God's Word on their hearts with our FREE 11 Bible Verses For Kids to Memorize

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word as you work toward growing the gratitude in your marraige, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: 4 Days to Growing Gratitude in Marriage

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to . receive our Raising Faithful Kids in a Cancel Culture.

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In this week's episode, Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy unpack the powerful topic of expectations—focusing on how to clearly express what you need from your spouse. With honest conversation, a willingness to listen, and an open heart, you can transform how you communicate and connect in your relationship.

Quotes from this episode:

"I just thought you knew. And when you didn't I would go along and get resentful"

"We were trying to fit each other in the mold."

"Our first big argument scared the heck out of me. My unrealistic expectation was that we would never fight."

"It's a good idea to have a signal or cue so that you make your spouse aware."

Questions for Reflection:

What are some expectations—spoken or unspoken—that we each bring into our marriage, and how well do we feel they've been understood by each other?

When was a time we misunderstood one another because expectations weren't clearly communicated? What can we learn from that moment?

How can we create more space in our relationship for honest, judgment-free conversations about what we each need or hope for?

What's one expectation we can both express more clearly this week—and how can we support each other in meeting it with love and grace?

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Find Dr. Kim on Instagram
• If expectations feel like too big of a topic to tackle alone- try out Dr. Kim's Marriage Expectations Worksheet. He has used this resource in his counseling office for over thirteen years and now we are sharing it with you!
• When you're frustrated, it's easy to let words fly out of your mouth. Our new FREE resource: 17 Unintentionally Disrespectful Phrases To Cut Out When Speaking To Your Spouse will help couples choose words that bring life instead of cause chaos.

• Awesome Marriage has a great Premarital course to help couples have important conversations before their big day. Communicate expectations effectively and be proactive in learning your future spouse with this great course. Already married? Share this course with a couple who's looking forward to their big day.

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word as you intentionally choose to puruse the marriage God intended, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: 14 Keys to Lasting Love

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our resource of the month.

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In this episode, Dr. Kim sits down with Ron Deal to talk about what it really means to build a mindful marriage. Ron shares lessons from his new book, Mindful Marriage, and how restoration therapy helped him and his wife Nan find healing and deeper connection. Together, they explore how faith, self-awareness, and emotional regulation can transform your relationship from the inside out.

Episode Insights:

Authenticity is the foundation of lasting happiness.

Emotional dysregulation is normal.

Our brains respond to threat, not fairness.

Pain cycles drive repeated conflict.

Growth and redemption matter more than blame.

Quotes from Today's Episode:

'Happy wife, happy life' sounds catchy, but in reality, it's an empty promise. Lasting happiness in marriage comes from authenticity, not performance or pretending everything is okay.

Every single one of us gets thrown off-balance emotionally. Some stay there longer, others move through it quickly, but emotional dysregulation is part of the human experience. There's nothing wrong about you because you get dysregulated.

The brain can't tell the difference between a rattlesnake, a near-miss in traffic, or your spouse's criticism. Threat is threat.

Our brains are wired for survival, not perfect communication.

You don't have fifty different fights in marriage. You just have one ongoing pain cycle. Once you identify and understand your pain cycle, you can finally move beyond it together.

Ignoring your pain doesn't make it go away—if anything, it makes your pain stronger, more insistent, and harder to escape.

It's easy to point out the flaw in someone else, but it's vital to focus on your own growth.

You may not forget your pain, but you can redeem what it does in your life. Choosing redemption over resentment is liberating.

Couples Conversation Guide:

Are there areas in our marriage where we tend to "perform" or pretend things are okay instead of being real with each other?

When conflict or hurt arises between you, how aware are you of what's really going on beneath the surface—your emotions, triggers, or past experiences?

What's one practical step you can take this week to be more mindful in your marriage—whether that's pausing before reacting, praying together, or choosing to listen with empathy?

Mentioned in this episode:

• 1 Amazon Bestseller is available! The Mindful Marriage (designed for every marriage).

• Ron Deal
• What's your reactive coping style? We all have one. Take our free assessment (15 minutes).
• Find Awesome Marriage on Instagram

• Need help starting the practice of prayer in your marriage? Here's a great resource: 21 Prayers for Building an Awesome Marriage

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. We even have a plan for praying as a couple! Check out 7 Prayers to Grow Your Marriage.

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

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What if marriage was never meant to be primarily about your happiness?

In this episode, Dr. Kim sits down with Randy and Rozanne Frazee, authors of Encountering God's Love from Genesis to Revelation, to explore how God's design for marriage is part of a much bigger story. Together, they discuss how understanding God's love throughout Scripture can transform the way couples view their relationship, shifting the focus from chasing happiness to living out a covenant that reflects Christ's love.

Randy and Rozanne share wisdom from their own marriage, practical ways couples can encounter God together, and encouragement for those who feel spiritually disconnected. You'll learn why spiritual intimacy doesn't require grand gestures, how your relationship with God directly impacts your relationship with your spouse, and why counseling can be one of the healthiest investments you make before a crisis ever arrives.

Whether you're in a thriving season or feeling stuck, this conversation will help you see your marriage through a wider lens, one that is rooted in God's purpose, sustained by His love, and strengthened through intentional connection.

Episode Highlights

• Marriage Was Designed for More Than Happiness
• How God's Bigger Story Gives Marriage Greater Purpose
• Your Relationship with God Shapes Your Relationship with Your Spouse
• Simple Ways to Build Spiritual Intimacy Together
• Why Counseling Should Be Preventative, Not Just a Last Resort
• Practical Steps for Reconnecting When You Feel Spiritually Disconnected

Key Takeaway

The healthiest marriages aren't built by pursuing happiness first. They're built by pursuing God together, faithfully living out your covenant commitment, and allowing His love to shape the way you love one another.

Quotes from This Episode:

Randy Frazee Quotes 1. "The closer we move to Christ, the closer we move to each other." 2. "Marriage is really more about sacrifice. God instills this amazing agape love in you, and your job is to pour it out to others—especially your spouse." 3. "The pursuit wasn't happiness. The pursuit was fulfilling our covenant commitment. As a result of that, we received happiness." 4. "When you go after the feeling of happiness, it almost always devastates the relationship you're in. When you go after the responsibility of being like Christ for the sake of others, happiness often follows." 5. "Marriages don't drift toward intimacy—they drift toward chaos. That's why intentionality matters." 6. "The love you have to offer apart from God will eventually get you into trouble. You need God's love flowing into you before it can flow through you."

Rozanne Frazee Quotes 1. "I can't put expectations on him because he will always let me down. God will never let me down." 2. "Marriage in Scripture is never presented as a right. It's presented as a responsibility." 3. "The wall of resentment goes up very quickly, but it comes down one brick at a time." 4. "Knowing that God loves me unconditionally gives me the freedom to risk loving another person." 5. "If you want your husband to become more of a spiritual leader, encourage what he's doing instead of criticizing what he's not doing." 6. "As you grow closer to God, you'll naturally grow closer to each other." 7. "Don't wait until the last minute to get help. Go early. Go often. Go preventatively."

Dr. Kim Quotes 1. "We can't put our marriage on the back burner for eighteen years while we raise kids and expect it to still be thriving when they're gone." 2. "You'll never regret carving out intentional time for your marriage, but you will regret not doing it." 3. "Your obedience is to God. Keep doing what God is calling you to do, whether your spouse responds immediately or not." 4. "A thirty-second prayer, a verse of the day, a simple step—just start somewhere. God can grow it from there." 5. "What makes the difference isn't doing marriage perfectly—it's continually coming back to God's design for it." 6. "Sometimes the most important thing a couple can do is simply make the time to reconnect."

Time to Talk About It:

1. What is one thing you see God doing in me (your spouse) right now that you appreciate and want to encourage?
2. Have there been times when we've expected each other to meet needs that really need to be taken to God first?
3. What's one small thing we could do this week to be more intentional about growing closer to God together?
4. Is there anything we've been putting off talking about that would be better to address now instead of letting it sit?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Get your copy of Encountering God's Love from Genesis to Revelation
• Check out Awesome Marriage's Two Week Scripture Challenge with your spouse.
• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Check out our Men of Virtue plan. Dr. Kim dives into the lives of five extraordinary men whose lives are still shaping ours today.
• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Be the first to hear about all things Awesome Marriage, receive monthly bonus content straight from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy, and take advantage of big discounts by becoming a Marriage Changer!

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What does it mean to build a life that truly matters? In this episode of The Wider Lens, Dr. Kim sits down with Tom Pfeiffer, former Air Force JAG officer, attorney, coach, trainer, husband, and dad, to talk about the experiences and values that shaped him. From growing up in a blue-collar family on Long Island to playing college football, serving in the military, and eventually leaving a successful legal career to pursue a different calling, Tom shares lessons on work ethic, purpose, fatherhood, and taking risks.

Along the way, they discuss the importance of showing up for your kids, the life lessons sports can teach, and why success on paper isn't always the same as fulfillment. This conversation will challenge you to think about the legacy you're building and the choices that matter most.

Episode Highlights:

• Why the best lessons in life often happen outside the classroom
• The impact of a father who always showed up
• How to pursue purpose over prestige and redefine success

Tune in for an honest conversation about work, family, calling, and what it means to live with intention.

Quotes from Tom Pfeifer:

"For me, it was a non-negotiable starting point. I'm just going to be there."

"Now I have margin in my life. On a Tuesday afternoon, I can block my calendar and just hang out with my kids."

"Everything you do has a cost."

"Every yes, every extra commitment, every extra dinner—that's time you're taking away from something else."

"Most kids just want somebody to say, 'I'm proud of you.'"

At what cost do you continue doing something that looks successful on paper but leaves a void inside?"

"When things are scarce in your life, you become hyper-focused on getting them."

"Your kids aren't going to remember how hard you worked. They're going to remember that you were there."

Time to Talk About it:

1. What is one area of your life where you're pursuing success, and what might it be costing you in your relationships, faith, or personal well-being?
2. When you think about the people who impacted you most growing up, what did they do that made you feel valued—and how can you offer that same gift to others today?
3. If your children, family, or closest friends described the legacy you're building right now, what would they say matters most to you? Is that the legacy you want to leave?

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Prayer, Bible reading, and spiritual leadership are all good things, but what happens when faith becomes a source of tension instead of connection in marriage?

In this episode, Dr. Kim tackle the unhealthy spiritual dynamics that can quietly create distance between spouses: spiritual superiority, spiritual withdrawal, and using faith as a weapon. While most couples don't intend to hurt each other spiritually, it's easy to fall into patterns that leave one spouse feeling judged, inadequate, or alone.

He discusses why spiritual loneliness can be so painful in marriage, how comparison and pressure shut down connection, and what it looks like to pursue spiritual intimacy in a way that invites both spouses closer to God and each other.

If you've ever felt frustrated that your spouse isn't where you'd like them to be spiritually, or if you've ever felt like you could never measure up, this conversation offers practical encouragement and hope for building a healthier, more united spiritual foundation.

Episode Highlights:

When Faith Creates Distance Instead of Connection

The Hidden Damage of Spiritual Superiority and Withdrawal

Moving from Weaponized Faith to Shared Faith

Quotes from This Episode:

God designed marriage as the most intimate of all earthly relationships.

There's a oneness God intended for marriage that touches every aspect of life.

When one spouse longs to pray together and it never happens, it doesn't just feel frustrating it feels lonely.

Loneliness can turn into resentment or even despair.

Nothing will shut your spouse down faster than feeling spiritually inferior in their own home.

The spouse that feels like they can never measure up will stop engaging.

When scripture becomes a sword instead of a shared foundation something has gone badly wrong.

Spiritual growth cannot be forced. You can model it. You can invite. But you cannot drag your spouse into a deeper faith any more than someone could have dragged you. God does that work.

Time to Talk About it:

Are you feeling disconnected from your spouse spiritually?

If you are, have you approached your spouse honestly with your concerns?

Ask them: How can we use our faith to encourage each other rather than pressure, correct, or compare one another?

Mentioned in This Episode:

• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!

• Do you feel misunderstood and defeated when it comes to disagreements with your spouse? Feeling misunderstood in conflict is usually a sign of something deeper. This assessment walks you through what needs to change, step by step.

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. If you're feeling disconnected from your spouse, try this plan together: 7 Prayers to Grow Your Marriage.

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive exclusive content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy as well as our resource of the month! Become a Marriage Changer today!

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Prayer, Bible reading, and spiritual leadership are all good things, but what happens when faith becomes a source of tension instead of connection in marriage?

In this episode, Dr. Kim tackle the unhealthy spiritual dynamics that can quietly create distance between spouses: spiritual superiority, spiritual withdrawal, and using faith as a weapon. While most couples don't intend to hurt each other spiritually, it's easy to fall into patterns that leave one spouse feeling judged, inadequate, or alone.

He discusses why spiritual loneliness can be so painful in marriage, how comparison and pressure shut down connection, and what it looks like to pursue spiritual intimacy in a way that invites both spouses closer to God and each other.

If you've ever felt frustrated that your spouse isn't where you'd like them to be spiritually, or if you've ever felt like you could never measure up, this conversation offers practical encouragement and hope for building a healthier, more united spiritual foundation.

Episode Highlights:

When Faith Creates Distance Instead of Connection

The Hidden Damage of Spiritual Superiority and Withdrawal

Moving from Weaponized Faith to Shared Faith

Quotes from This Episode:

God designed marriage as the most intimate of all earthly relationships.

There's a oneness God intended for marriage that touches every aspect of life.

When one spouse longs to pray together and it never happens, it doesn't just feel frustrating it feels lonely.

Loneliness can turn into resentment or even despair.

Nothing will shut your spouse down faster than feeling spiritually inferior in their own home.

The spouse that feels like they can never measure up will stop engaging.

When scripture becomes a sword instead of a shared foundation something has gone badly wrong.

Spiritual growth cannot be forced. You can model it. You can invite. But you cannot drag your spouse into a deeper faith any more than someone could have dragged you. God does that work.

Time to Talk About it:

Are you feeling disconnected from your spouse spiritually?

If you are, have you approached your spouse honestly with your concerns?

Ask them: How can we use our faith to encourage each other rather than pressure, correct, or compare one another?

Mentioned in This Episode:

• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!

• Do you feel misunderstood and defeated when it comes to disagreements with your spouse? Feeling misunderstood in conflict is usually a sign of something deeper. This assessment walks you through what needs to change, step by step.

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. If you're feeling disconnected from your spouse, try this plan together: 7 Prayers to Grow Your Marriage.

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive exclusive content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy as well as our resource of the month! Become a Marriage Changer today!

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Prayer, Bible reading, and spiritual leadership are all good things, but what happens when faith becomes a source of tension instead of connection in marriage?

In this episode, Dr. Kim tackle the unhealthy spiritual dynamics that can quietly create distance between spouses: spiritual superiority, spiritual withdrawal, and using faith as a weapon. While most couples don't intend to hurt each other spiritually, it's easy to fall into patterns that leave one spouse feeling judged, inadequate, or alone.

He discusses why spiritual loneliness can be so painful in marriage, how comparison and pressure shut down connection, and what it looks like to pursue spiritual intimacy in a way that invites both spouses closer to God and each other.

If you've ever felt frustrated that your spouse isn't where you'd like them to be spiritually, or if you've ever felt like you could never measure up, this conversation offers practical encouragement and hope for building a healthier, more united spiritual foundation.

Episode Highlights:

When Faith Creates Distance Instead of Connection

The Hidden Damage of Spiritual Superiority and Withdrawal

Moving from Weaponized Faith to Shared Faith

Quotes from This Episode:

God designed marriage as the most intimate of all earthly relationships.

There's a oneness God intended for marriage that touches every aspect of life.

When one spouse longs to pray together and it never happens, it doesn't just feel frustrating it feels lonely.

Loneliness can turn into resentment or even despair.

Nothing will shut your spouse down faster than feeling spiritually inferior in their own home.

The spouse that feels like they can never measure up will stop engaging.

When scripture becomes a sword instead of a shared foundation something has gone badly wrong.

Spiritual growth cannot be forced. You can model it. You can invite. But you cannot drag your spouse into a deeper faith any more than someone could have dragged you. God does that work.

Time to Talk About it:

Are you feeling disconnected from your spouse spiritually?

If you are, have you approached your spouse honestly with your concerns?

Ask them: How can we use our faith to encourage each other rather than pressure, correct, or compare one another?

Mentioned in This Episode:

• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!

• Do you feel misunderstood and defeated when it comes to disagreements with your spouse? Feeling misunderstood in conflict is usually a sign of something deeper. This assessment walks you through what needs to change, step by step.

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. If you're feeling disconnected from your spouse, try this plan together: 7 Prayers to Grow Your Marriage.

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive exclusive content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy as well as our resource of the month! Become a Marriage Changer today!

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In this episode of the Awesome Marriage Podcast, Dr. Kim sits down with bestselling author Gary Chapman for a practical and honest conversation about what it really looks like to keep a marriage growing, not just surviving.

They talk about why marriages don't just "stay the same," how couples slowly drift without realizing it, and what it takes to stay emotionally connected over time. Gary unpacks how love languages can shift through different seasons of life, why assumptions create so many problems, and how simple things like curiosity, communication, and daily check-ins can completely change the tone of a relationship.

If you've ever felt like you and your spouse are just "off" lately, or you want to be more intentional about loving well, this conversation gives you real, doable ways to start moving back toward each other again.

Episode Highlights:

• Without intentional effort, connection naturally fades into distance or "roommate mode."
• Couples often miss each other because they're expressing love in ways that feel right to them, not in ways that actually land with their spouse.
• When couples stay teachable and intentional, even conflict becomes an opportunity for deeper connection.

Quotes from this Episode:

Gary Chapman:

1. "Marriage is either going to grow or regress—there's really no drifting in place."
2. "I don't talk about a perfect marriage. I talk about a growing marriage."
3. "Life satisfaction is found in relationships, not in the accumulation of things."
4. "We cannot read each other's minds—you have to ask questions and listen."
5. "The objective is not to win the argument—the objective is to find a solution together."
6. "It's no fun to live with a loser. Why would you create a loser? You're on the same team."
7. "Love has to be communicated in a way that's meaningful to the other person."

Kim Kimberling:

1. "I don't think I'll ever learn everything there is to know about Nancy in a lifetime."
2. "Marriage is an adventure because you're always discovering new things about each other."
3. "If you're not feeling loved, turn into your marriage—not outside of it."
4. "Assumptions in marriage are usually way off."
5. "The distractions we entertain today are often stealing the connection we could be building at home."
6. "There's so much value in the person God put in front of you to do life with."
7. "Small, intentional steps done consistently really do make a difference over time."

Time to Talk About it:

1. Where in our marriage are we currently growing—and where might we actually be drifting without realizing it?
2. In what ways am I trying to show love to my spouse, and are those actually the ways they most feel loved?
3. How well do we really ask questions and stay curious about each other instead of assuming we already know what the other thinks or feels?
4. What would it look like for us to build a simple daily rhythm of connection (even 10–15 minutes) to stay emotionally close?

Mentioned in This Episode:

• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!
• Take the Love Languages test.

• Get your copy of The Love Language That Matters Most.

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Unpack what scripture says about how to demonstrate love well in your marriage with our plan: Speak to Their Heart: 5 Ways to Love Your Spouse Well

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive exclusive content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy as well as our resource of the month! Become a Marriage Changer today!

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In this episode of the Awesome Marriage Podcast, Dr. Kim sits down with bestselling author Gary Chapman for a practical and honest conversation about what it really looks like to keep a marriage growing, not just surviving.

They talk about why marriages don't just "stay the same," how couples slowly drift without realizing it, and what it takes to stay emotionally connected over time. Gary unpacks how love languages can shift through different seasons of life, why assumptions create so many problems, and how simple things like curiosity, communication, and daily check-ins can completely change the tone of a relationship.

If you've ever felt like you and your spouse are just "off" lately, or you want to be more intentional about loving well, this conversation gives you real, doable ways to start moving back toward each other again.

Episode Highlights:

• Without intentional effort, connection naturally fades into distance or "roommate mode."
• Couples often miss each other because they're expressing love in ways that feel right to them, not in ways that actually land with their spouse.
• When couples stay teachable and intentional, even conflict becomes an opportunity for deeper connection.

Quotes from this Episode:

Gary Chapman:

1. "Marriage is either going to grow or regress—there's really no drifting in place."
2. "I don't talk about a perfect marriage. I talk about a growing marriage."
3. "Life satisfaction is found in relationships, not in the accumulation of things."
4. "We cannot read each other's minds—you have to ask questions and listen."
5. "The objective is not to win the argument—the objective is to find a solution together."
6. "It's no fun to live with a loser. Why would you create a loser? You're on the same team."
7. "Love has to be communicated in a way that's meaningful to the other person."

Kim Kimberling:

1. "I don't think I'll ever learn everything there is to know about Nancy in a lifetime."
2. "Marriage is an adventure because you're always discovering new things about each other."
3. "If you're not feeling loved, turn into your marriage—not outside of it."
4. "Assumptions in marriage are usually way off."
5. "The distractions we entertain today are often stealing the connection we could be building at home."
6. "There's so much value in the person God put in front of you to do life with."
7. "Small, intentional steps done consistently really do make a difference over time."

Time to Talk About it:

1. Where in our marriage are we currently growing—and where might we actually be drifting without realizing it?
2. In what ways am I trying to show love to my spouse, and are those actually the ways they most feel loved?
3. How well do we really ask questions and stay curious about each other instead of assuming we already know what the other thinks or feels?
4. What would it look like for us to build a simple daily rhythm of connection (even 10–15 minutes) to stay emotionally close?

Mentioned in This Episode:

• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!
• Take the Love Languages test.

• Get your copy of The Love Language That Matters Most.

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Unpack what scripture says about how to demonstrate love well in your marriage with our plan: Speak to Their Heart: 5 Ways to Love Your Spouse Well

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive exclusive content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy as well as our resource of the month! Become a Marriage Changer today!

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Marriage isn't supposed to be all work and no play. But somewhere between busy schedules, responsibilities, stress, and everyday life, a lot of couples find themselves feeling more like roommates than best friends.

In this episode, Dr. Kim and Nancy talk about why fun matters so much in marriage, how couples gradually lose it, and what it takes to bring it back. Whether your marriage feels stuck in a rut or you simply miss enjoying each other the way you once did, this conversation offers practical encouragement and simple ways to reconnect.

Tune in as they discuss the signs that fun has faded, why couples often settle for "fine," and how even small moments of laughter, playfulness, and intentional connection can help strengthen your relationship. Plus, you'll walk away with one simple challenge you can put into practice this week.

If your marriage could use a little more joy, this episode is for you.

Episode Highlights:

Why fun matters more than you think

What's causing the joy to fade

How to reconnect and enjoy each other again

Quotes from this Episode:

It's not exactly what we do, it's how we feel when we are doing something together.

Losing fun doesn't happen overnight. You start feeling kindof bored together so you stop laughing together. You stop talking. You quit interacting.

I don't think in a lifetime you can learn everything about your spouse. You have to stay curious.

Life isn't all about fun. But fun does sure make a lot of life go better.

If you're just coasting, you're missing out on so much of what God has for you in marriage.

Time to Talk About it:

When we dated, how would you rate our fun 1-10?

How would you rate it now?

Are we using efficiency as an excuse to neglect intentionality?

What do you enjoy doing with me (with spouse) for fun?

When is our next date night?

Mentioned in This Episode:

• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!
• Marriage should be FUN! That's why we created this resource: 14 Days of Marriage Fun

• Has date night gotten boring? Here are some pre planned date ideas!

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Intentionality is key for a healthy marriage. Commit to our free One Thing to Grow Your Marriage plan.

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive exclusive content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy as well as our resource of the month! Become a Marriage Changer today!

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One of the greatest privileges we have as spouses is coming before the Father and lifting up our marriage—leaning on Him for protection, provision, and strength.

Today, special guests Brad and Heidi Mitchell join Dr. Kim to talk about how foundational prayer is for intimacy and the overall climate of your marriage. Many couples struggle to develop this rhythm—not because they don't want to, but because they simply don't know where to start.

Be encouraged today as Brad and Heidi share from their newest book, Build Your Marriage With Prayer, and talk about how guided prayers, daily readings, and reflection questions can help couples grow a consistent and meaningful prayer life together.

Episode Highlights:

Husbands don't have to know it all to lead- they can be simply willing to initiate.

Wives can come alongside and encourage their husbands to step into the role God created them for.

Don't weaponize prayer against your spouse.

Quotes from this Episode:

Kim Kimberling Quotes:

1. "The first time Nancy and I really started praying for something together and saw God show up, it was like, 'This is awesome.'"
2. "Prayer bonds us together in a way nothing else really can."
3. "Most guys feel inadequate spiritually, but prayer was never about performing."
4. "You don't have to know more than your spouse to lead spiritually—you just have to initiate."
5. "When couples begin praying together, they stop fighting against each other and start fighting for each other."
6. "Inviting God into conflict changes conflict from something destructive into something that can grow your marriage."
7. "The more we pray, the more prayer becomes part of the fabric of who we are."
8. "God wants to be involved in the middle of our everyday lives—not just the big emergencies."
9. "When you pray over your spouse, it creates empathy, connection, and unity."
10. "Prayer gives God a chance to show up in your marriage over and over again."

Brad Mitchell Quotes:

1. "A lot of men don't pray with their wives because they're afraid of looking inadequate."
2. "Men don't need to be spiritual experts—they just need to become spiritual initiators."
3. "The things you most want to lean away from are often the very places God wants you to lean in."
4. "When you pray about the issue instead of against each other, nobody wins or loses—God wins."
5. "The enemy whispers, 'You're not good at this,' because he knows how powerful prayer is in marriage."
6. "Every wife would love for her husband to stop and pray over her before the day begins."
7. "Surrendering your schedule to God changes interruptions from frustrations into opportunities."
8. "Prayer protects your marriage because it keeps both of you surrendered to God instead of fighting each other."

Heidi Mitchell Quotes:

1. "Make prayer a positive experience for your spouse, not a performance."
2. "There's really no wrong way to come before God together."
3. "Encouragement from a wife can completely change a husband's confidence in leading spiritually."
4. "If prayer becomes weaponized, couples will stop wanting to pray together."
5. "Not every thought deserves a place to stay in your mind."
6. "Ask yourself: Does this thought line up with who God says my spouse is?"
7. "Praying together helped us move from surface-level faith into authentic dependence on God."
8. "When my husband prays for me, I feel protected, cared for, and truly seen."
9. "The spiritual connection we share through prayer has become one of the greatest strengths in our marriage."

Time to Talk About it:

1. What would it look like for us to make prayer feel more natural and encouraging in our relationship instead of pressured or performative?
2. Is there an area of our marriage right now where we've been "fighting each other" instead of "fighting for each other," and how could prayer help shift that?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Build Your Marriage is on Instagram!
• Purchase your own copy of Build Your Marriage With Prayer!
• Check out Awesome Marriage's 9 Days to Build the Practice of Prayer in Marriage
• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. You'll love our 30 Scripture Based Prayers for Your Marriage. Check out it out with your spouse!
• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Be the first to hear about all things Awesome Marriage, receive monthly bonus content straight from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy, and take advantage of big discounts by becoming a Marriage Changer!

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My good friend Matt Cline is here with me today to talk through the cultural epidemic of pornography. We are diving into the deeper roots behind sexual sin, temptation, and transformation. Matt discusses why behavior modification alone isn't enough, how our view of sex shapes the way we lead and relate to others, and why isolation keeps people stuck. Explore how true freedom comes through renewing the mind, pursuing Christlikeness, and allowing God to transform us from the inside out.

Episode Highlights:

• Surface-level behavior change isn't enough—you have to deal with the root issue.
• The way we follow Christ should shape the way we think about sex and intimacy.
• Hidden sexual sin doesn't stay isolated—it affects every relationship around us.
• Sexual immorality pulls us toward selfishness instead of self-giving love.
• God invites you to live in His grace and the freedom He offers.

Quotes from this Conversation:

Matt:

• Love, living in love and engaging in sexual immorality cannot happen at the same time.
• The purpose for our sexual desire is a training ground for Christlikeness. For dying to self and stewarding our urges.
• Accountability should not be focused simply on not sinning.
• Temptation is simply an opportunity for transformation.
• I tried to quit the sin for so long without ever learning how to renew my mind. Never learning how to think like Jesus in the sexual area of my life.
• The amount of perversion in our faces all the time, lends to us justifying "lesser sins."
• You can get rid of the behavior but what about the worldview or the view on sex that has been established in you that you have not yet had renewed?

Dr. Kim:

• Isolation does nothing good for us at all. Isolation when we're dealing with something negative should not be something that we do.
• We give people hope because not in us and not our ministries, but in this God who created us.
• I want to know Nancy loves me even with everything out on the table.

Time to Talk About It:

1. Are there areas in my life where I've focused more on behavior management than true heart transformation?
2. How has my worldview around sex, intimacy, or temptation been shaped more by culture than by Christ?
3. When I struggle, do I tend to isolate myself or invite trusted people into honesty, accountability, and healing?

Mentioned in This Episode:

• Check out what Matt is doing at Restored Ministries
• If your marriage is struggling with betrayal, check out our course: Marriage Undefiled

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Marriage was never promised to be easy, light, or always enjoyable—but when both spouses are committed wholeheartedly, it can endure even the hardest seasons. In this episode, Dr. Kim unpacks the foundational truths that help build a healthy, lasting marriage: honest communication, emotional safety, gratitude, faith, and learning how to work through conflict instead of avoiding it.

He also shares what it looks like to start fresh without carrying the weight of past mistakes and why the struggles couples face—especially in the early years—don't mean something is wrong. Whether you're newly married or decades in, this episode offers practical encouragement to help you strengthen your relationship and build a marriage grounded in a foundation that lasts.

Episode Highlights:

"Becoming" is a process and it doesn't happen at the altar.

The decisions that shape a marriage most aren't the big dramatic ones.

Keep having fun together, year after year.

If this is your second marriage- things don't have to be the same!

Quotes from this episode:

When faith is at the center of your marriage it changes the source of your security. You're no longer looking to your spouse to provide what only God can provide.

The first year is not the best year- and that's ok.

The friction you feel is not a sign that something is wrong. It's a sign that you are doing the real work of two becoming one.

Avoiding the conversation doesn't make the problem disappear.

The conversations you tend to avoid are the ones that can make or break a marriage.

Your spouse is not a mind reader and neither are you.

Communication is not a failure of love. It's an expression of it.

The cultural model asks "what am I getting out of this?" The biblical model asks "what am I bringing to this?"

Avoidance builds walls.

Couples who pray together, seek wisdom together, and bring God into the center or their disagreements have a resource that other couples just don't have.

Your spouse should feel like they can be honest with you without being punished for it. If they feel like they have to manage your reactions before they can be truthful, you've built a marriage where honesty is not safe.

Life administration isn't connection.

Gratitude is a muscle and in marriage it needs regular exercise.

Time to talk about it?

What do we expect from each other sexually?

Are we spiritually moving in the same direction?

How was conflict handled in your home growing up?

Have we let anything go unaddressed?

Are we protecting our time together?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!

• Make space to talk about the marriage itself with our FREE Weekly Marriage Check in Guide!

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Dr. Kim takes everyday 'traffic signs' that we all encounter and applies them to growing your marriage relationship in this plan: Traffic Signs and Your Marriage - Part 1

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive exclusive content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy as well as our resource of the month! Become a Marriage Changer today!

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In a culture that constantly redefines truth, how do you build a marriage that actually stands firm?

Dr. Kim sits down with Aaron and Amy Graham to talk about choosing faith over culture and why most marriages don't fall apart overnight—they slowly drift as outside voices shape what we believe about love, identity, and purpose. The Grahams challenge couples to examine those influences, guard their identity, and remember that marriage was designed for more than just their own happiness.

This conversation is a powerful reminder that your spouse isn't meant to meet every need—and that intimacy with God is the foundation for a thriving marriage.

Episode highlights:

Drifting is a slow process.

If we are to live a life that goes against culture, we must know truth and live by it.

Marriage has a greater mission than just your happiness.

Quotes from this Episode:

The Grahams:

If the church doesn't disciple people, the world gladly will.

What does it look like to stand firm in a marriage? It's to not give the devil a foothold.

Sometimes we don't realize how we have subtly imported a secular worldview into every area of our life.

The enemy doesn't want to just tempt us to sin. He wants to reshape our identity and distort our worship.

God has designed us for intimacy and that starts in our marriage relationship.

We have to go into our marriage understanding that our spouse isn't going to solve all of our loneliness. We have to have relationship with God.

The secular lie is that we determine what truth is: my feelings, my version of the truth.

Marriage sometimes can become an idol for people when they don't have a bigger mission than just marriage. Because your marriage can become self centered- what the main mission- it's not just your happiness.

Dr. Kim:

So much of our faith is knowing that this God who created everything loves us conditionally in a culture where nobody loves us unconditionally- sometimes that's hard to get a hold of.

Selfishness is something we have to be aware of our whole marriage because we can fall into that trap.

God is never going to do anything in you that is not good for your marriage.

Time to talk about it:

Are there ideas we need to deconstruct in our marriage?

What voices are we allowing to speak into our marriage? Do they align with the Truth?

What disciplines do we need to implement to show that our marriage is a priority and to honor the union that God has brought together?

Mentioned in This Episode:

• Connect with Aaron and Amy Graham.
• Get your own copy of Unshakeable Faith
• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!

• Make sure you're praying for your marriage! We make it easy with this prayer guide: 21 Prayers for Building an Awesome Marriage

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. If you know you should pray with your spouse or for your spouse but don't know where to start? Check out: 7 Prayers to Grow Your Marriage

• Unmet expectations can wreak havoc on your marriage. You need this brand new resource: The Marriage Expectations Worksheet
• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive exclusive content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy as well as our resource of the month! Become a Marriage Changer today!

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Have you ever gotten to the point in your marriage where your spouse felt more like the enemy than the person you committed to stand by in sickness and in health? What used to feel easy now feels tense. Conversations turn into misunderstandings. Small things feel big. Or maybe it's not conflict, it's distance. You're living side by side, but feeling miles apart.

Somewhere along the way, everything started to feel… personal. And today, we're talking about why that happens, and how to change it.

Episode Highights:

It's not you vs. your spouse. It's you both vs the pattern.

Your thought life shapes your marriage

Healing and gratitude change everything.

Quotes from Today's Episode:

One moment doesn't define your marriage.- Mrs. Nancy

The more I'm grateful for who Nancy is in my life, it's so much easier to say "no, I'm not talking this personal."

People get ticked off for so many easy things nowadays and it's easy to get sucked into that.

We don't want to look at ourselves. If I can blame Nancy then I can stay with that and not have to blame myself. God had to work on me.

Our negative thinking can take over so much of the time. That negative thought process- and I have to go back to Romans 12: 2. Renewing our mind. That's the key.- Mrs. Nancy

If there are old wounds, we have to take care of those.

Time to Talk About it:

Do you feel like I do things just to upset you? If so, how can we resolve this?

List out 5 things you are grateful for about your spouse. Share them with one another.

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!

• Unmet expectations can wreak havoc on your marriage. You need this brand new resource: The Marriage Expectations Worksheet

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Summer is coming and the beach is calling, and the Lord can use the ocean to speak encouragement into your marriage- see for yourself Islands, Tides and the Deep: A Marriage Message from the Sea

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer this month, you'll receive our brand new Marriage Expectations Worksheet. This powerful tool is going to change the way you think about and talk about expectations in your marriage.

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In a culture that blurs truth and deception, marriages can easily absorb beliefs that slowly damage connection and trust. In this episode, Dr. Greg Smalley joins us to uncover the lies that are hitting marriages the hardest—and the truths that can set couples free.

We talk about why marriages are so vulnerable to these lies, how stress and unmet expectations make them worse, and how emotional distance and internal narratives shape the way we see our spouse. Dr. Smalley also shares practical ways to recognize and replace these lies with truth, plus insight from his own marriage.

If you've ever felt stuck in negative patterns or discouraged in your relationship, this episode will help you reset your perspective and refocus on what's true.

Episode Highlights:

• Why marriages are especially vulnerable to believing harmful lies—and when that risk is highest
• How stress, unmet expectations, and emotional distance distort the way we see our spouse
• Practical ways to recognize lies, replace them with truth, and rebuild connection

Quotes from this Episode:

Quotes from Dr. Kim

1. "Marriage is an adventure full of highs and lows, good and bad."
2. "We live in a culture that tells us we should be happy above all."
3. "The greatest marriage advice is to ask how can I be a better husband."
4. "I think if you do the things that we, if couples do the things we're talking about today, you are laying the foundation for those empty nest years to be something very, very special."

Quotes from Greg Smalley:

1. "Differences are never the problem. The truth is differences are beautiful."
2. "What creates true connection, what creates intimacy, is safety."
3. "I want to be the one to love her in that way by affirming her."
4. "The key is for you to become that perfect person to marry."
5. "I want my wife's heart rendered open to me."
6. "It changes our marriages when we start caring about how our spouse felt."
7. "I want to create a campfire with my wife that we just want to linger around and just enjoy each other."
8. "Instead of thinking about resolving conflict, think about how do we repair conflict."

Time to Talk About it:

What's a negative thought or assumption I've been believing about you or our marriage lately—and is it actually true?

When we're stressed or things aren't going how we expected, what stories do we tend to tell ourselves about each other?

What's one simple thing we could do this week to feel more safe, connected, and quick to repair things when they go sideways?

Mentioned in This Episode:

• Check out Greg Smalley and Focus with the Family
• Get a copy of 9 Lies that will Destroy Your Marriage
• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!

• Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week with our FREE Weekly Marriage Check in Guide!

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Dr. Kim takes everyday 'traffic signs' that we all encounter and applies them to growing your marriage relationship in this plan: Traffic Signs and Your Marriage - Part 1

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive exclusive content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy as well as our resource of the month! Become a Marriage Changer today!

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Most of us have experienced that shift in marriage—where the little quirks that once felt endearing during dating suddenly become everyday annoyances. The real challenge comes when those small frustrations start to build, creating distance, resentment, and barriers to connection. And often, it's not just the habits themselves—but the assumptions we attach to them—that carry the most power, quietly shaping how we see and respond to our spouse.

In this episode, Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy share practical ways to keep the small things from becoming big issues. They talk about the power of open and honest communication, setting realistic expectations, and choosing grace in the moments it's needed most—especially when assumptions threaten to take over.

Our hope is that this conversation encourages you to strengthen your connection and approach the little things in your marriage with greater understanding, intention, and grace.

Episode Highlights:

Assumptions do not help the marriage relationship.

Open communication is key to highlighting the differences in your relationship and developing an alternate way to move forward together.

Quotes from this Episode:

You begin to think God made a mistake, which He doesn't.

The way I think about Nancy, is going to impact the way I treat her.

When you start thinking negatively toward someone, just stop and lay it at the Lords' feet.

God wants us to have a good marriage. He gave it as a gift to us so He wants it to be good.

It's hard to build a case against Nancy, when I'm taking her to the Lord in prayer.

Marriage doesn't have to be complicated. God didn't create it as this maze we have to figure our way through.

Time to Talk About it:

When's the last time you prayed for the Lord to help you see your spouse the way He sees them.

Is there something you need to share with you spouse that you've been viewing negatively? Something that is going unmentioned and ignored?

Take time to write down 10 things you love or admire about your spouse. Now share it with them.

Mentioned in This Episode:

• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!
• Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week with our FREE Weekly Marriage Check in Guide!

• Your words, your tone, your attitude- they all matter in how your spouse hears you and how connected your marriage feels. Check out our new devotional: Cut the Criticism and Cultivate Companionship in Marriage

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Have negative thoughts about your spouse slowly replaced the positive ones? You need to start Mind Craft: Take Your Thoughts Captive to Transform Your Marriage today!

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive our Most Popular Resource Bundle — 10 powerful marriage tools with a combined value of $185. Become a Marriage Changer today!

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In this episode, Dr. Kim talks with author and pastor Heath Hardesty about his new book, All Things Together. Heath shares how his time apprenticing under his earthly father became a living picture of what it means to be an apprentice of our Heavenly Father. They discuss what it looks like to live as image bearers in a fragmented world, why discipleship is more than "extra credit," and how God redeems, not erases, our humanity. Together, they unpack how to see with wonder again, order our imagination around Christ, and live a whole, beautiful life that reflects Him.

Episode Takeaways:

• Wholeness comes from staying connected, not from doing more.
• Slowing down is often the most spiritual thing we can do.
• God loves us and desires to dwell with us.
• Our focus and intention shape the way we experience life and who we become.
• Life feels scattered because we're often living disconnected from what truly grounds us.
• Our actions are connected to our faith.
• We ache and long for relationship with our Creator. He is a good Father.

Quotes from this Episode:

How we imagine the world really affects how we inhabit it.

Technology can connect, but the digital world often pulls us apart—scattering our presence across time and place until we forget what it means to truly be together.

When we take things out of context and mix the sacred with the trivial, our souls are shaped by confusion and chaos.

God weaves beauty from even the most ordinary or unwanted chapters of our stories—if we let Him, nothing is wasted.

We are made to be apprentices of the Master—union, abiding, obeying, and becoming like Him is the heart of how we truly change.

Faith isn't just belief in our heads—it's trust that spills out through our hands, our words, our feet, our relationships. It's embodied and lived.

Serving others, especially those closest to us, by following Christ's example, transforms both them and us. True love is found in humble service.

Faith has everything to do with our hands, our feet, our mouth, and our relationships. It's an embodied thing.

Reflect on This:

1. Where does life feel most rushed right now? How can you invite Jesus into this space instead of just trying harder?
2. What small daily habit or rhythm is shaping you the most right now, for better or for worse?
3. If following Jesus is more about apprenticeship than perfection, what is one simple practice you could lean into this week to stay more connected to Him?

Mentioned in this Episode:

Never miss a Wider Lens episode. Listen here.

Heath Hardesty is on Instagram.

Purchase All Things Together: How Apprenticeship to Jesus Is the Way of Flourishing in a Fragmented World by Heath Hardesty

Find Dr. Kim on Instagram

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We've all heard the proverb that pride comes before the fall—but is there a place for pride in our relationships at all? Today, Dr. Kim takes an honest look at pride in marriage: its roots, its power, and its ability to divide even the strongest relationships. You'll be encouraged to recognize where pride may be creeping in, what it's actually revealing about your own heart, and practical ways to get it under control. Dr. Kim also addresses how to love and set healthy boundaries with a spouse who is struggling with pride—without enabling, escalating conflict, or losing yourself in the process.

Episode Highlights:

• Pride quietly erodes connection.
• Pride reveals what's happening in the heart.
• Healthy humility creates stronger, safer relationships.
• It's ok to name the unhealthy rhythms in your marriage. It's not ok to remain in them.

Quotes from this Episode:

• Unchecked pride leads to chronic resentment.
• Many affairs and separations trace back to one thing. One spouse spends years feeling like they couldn't be heard, valued or respected.
• When we make a mistake pride tells us to minimize it or justify it.
• Healthy confidence says "I have value and so does my spouse." Pride says "I have value and my spouse needs to recognize it."
• Confidence can receive correction. Pride can't.
• Pride builds a wall one brick at a time. Every unapologized offense was a brick. Every conversation where one spouse lectured instead of listened. Every eye roll- a brick.
• You don't want to just endure an unhealthy dynamic without ever naming it. That's not humility that is enabling.

Time to Talk About it:

1. Where do you think pride shows up most in our relationship—during conflict, communication, or something else?
2. When you feel unheard or unvalued, how do you usually respond—and do you think pride plays a role in that reaction?
3. What's one practical way we could replace pride with humility in our marriage this week?

Mentioned in This Episode:

• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!
• Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week with our FREE Weekly Marriage Check in Guide!

• Your words, your tone, your attitude- they all matter in how your spouse hears you and how connected your marriage feels. Check out our new devotional: Cut the Criticism and Cultivate Companionship in Marriage

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Have negative thoughts about your spouse slowly replaced the positive ones? You need to start Mind Craft: Take Your Thoughts Captive to Transform Your Marriage today!

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer this month, you'll receive our Most Popular Resource Bundle — 10 powerful marriage tools with a combined value of $185. Become a Marriage Changer today!

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Marriage has a way of bringing our imperfections to the surface—and if we're honest, that can feel frustrating, discouraging, and even isolating at times. But what if those struggles aren't something to hide…what if they're actually where God's grace shows up most?

In this episode, we're talking about how the imperfect stories we see throughout Scripture mirror our own and remind us that we're not alone in the mess. We'll unpack what it really looks like to build intimacy through vulnerability, why accepting each other's brokenness matters more than having it all together, and how God's unconditional love can shift the way you see yourself and your spouse.

If you've ever felt like your marriage falls short of the ideal, this conversation will remind you that God does some of His best work right in the middle of it.

Episode Highlights:

1. The people in the Bible weren't perfect—and that's exactly where God's grace shows up, just like it does in our marriages.
2. Real intimacy doesn't come from having it all together—it comes from being honest, letting your guard down, and choosing to love each other in the middle of the imperfections.
3. When we truly understand God's unconditional love, it changes everything.

Quotes from this Episode:

I think we all have a tendency to let other people define who we are and we've got to keep our eyes on him."

I love that scripture in 1 John 4 all the time, you know, we love because He first loved us.- Dana Che

People have this idea that people in the Bible are saints… I really wanted to show the humanity of the people in scripture. Just like us they struggled with their faith.- Dana Che Williams

We can't project the image of God if we are hiding. If we are pretending. -Dana Che

We are broken people who married broken people. - Dana Che

Even if people reject you, God does not reject you. - Dana Che Williams

We must get our worth and our value from the Lord.- Dana Che Williams

We have to be tethered in. We have to be tied together, so that when the storms of life or the gentle everyday situations of life, we aren't disconnecting.

I can't be led by my feelings. I have to pray about my feelings. I have to submit my heart before the Lord.

He wants your marriage to work. He wants every marriage to work.- Dr. Kim

There is so much beauty in the suffering if we will just endure it.

Time to Talk About it:

Do you feel like you play second fiddle to anything in your spouse's life? Have you shared that with them?

What routines and rhythms can we put in place to fight against the disconnect?

Are there things we did before marriage, that we have stopped doing? How can we bring that excitement back to our marriage today?

What can the two of you be working on together to grow the Kingdom of God? (If you don't have an answer, take the time now to go to the Lord in prayer)

Mentioned in This Episode:

• Connect with Dana Che
• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!
• Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week with our FREE Weekly Marriage Check in Guide!
• Our Reframing Challenge will help you view your spouse through the lens of God.

• Once a year we do something HUGE! 10 resources for one donation. Don't miss our April bundle- your marriage will thank you for it!

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Have negative thoughts about your spouse slowly replaced the positive ones? You need to start Mind Craft: Take Your Thoughts Captive to Transform Your Marriage today!

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer you'll receive our Most Popular Resource Bundle — 10 powerful marriage tools with a combined value of $185. Become a Marriage Changer today!

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Most couples are unintentionally at risk of making one decision that can change their marriage forever. Jim Ramos shares the powerful guardrails that protect and strengthen your marriage, drawing from personal stories, biblical wisdom, and decades of ministry experience. His insight will challenge everything you thought you knew about love, trust, and biblical fidelity—showing you how to avoid costly mistakes and build an unbreakable, joy-filled partnership.

You'll discover:

• Why most problems in marriage boil down to one choice and how guardrails can save you
• The crucial boundaries that keep temptation at bay—living above reproach and emotional connection
• How to build walls of protection around your wife's heart and why framing her well is your greatest act of love
• The importance of intentionality, regular check-ins, and prayer in cultivating a thriving relationship
• The biblical foundation of mutual submission, respect, and standing back-to-back as life partners

This episode isn't just theory—Jim shares real stories, practical guardrails, and tangible steps you can take today. Whether you're engaged, newly married, or decades in, the principles here will help you lead with integrity and love. Don't leave your marriage to chance—discover how purposeful boundaries create a legacy of unbreakable trust, happiness, and spiritual harmony.

Perfect for husbands and wives committed to God's design, or anyone ready to fight for a marriage that lasts a lifetime. Because in God's family, guarding your marriage isn't restriction, it's the freedom to love fearlessly.

Quotes from this Episode:

1. Jim Ramos: "Guardrails in marriage are not restrictions but powerful safeguards that create freedom by preventing destructive choices."
2. Jim Ramos: "The root cause of most marital failures is a single, stupid choice away—guardrails act as proactive filters to avoid those pitfalls."
3. Jim Ramos: "Effective leadership in marriage involves presiding over, protecting, and providing—like building walls and inspecting walls—rather than striving for equality."
4. Jim Ramos: "Cultivating a shared journey towards Jesus strengthens marriage intrinsically; the closer couples move to Christ, the closer they become to each other."
5. Jim Ramos: "Raising children and managing a stress-filled life require intentional prioritization—placing marriage second only to Jesus—otherwise, chaos undermines core relationships."
6. Jim Ramos: "The story loops we build through unguarded conversations and stories can open doors for rumors, damaging trust."
7. Jim Ramos: "Personal renewal in marriage is never too late; repentance and redirection through guardrails are always available, transforming failure into unbreakable bonds."
8. Dr. Kim: "I think guardrails in marriage, to me, just pictures, man, you're protecting your marriage."
9. Dr. Kim: "If we begin to think we're not vulnerable, we're really in trouble because we all are."
10. Dr. Kim: "I think Satan wants us to fool us into thinking that he's not causing any trouble or that he's just maybe not even there."
11. Dr. Kim: "I think when a man gets it, everyone wins, right? So when men step into that role, then the women naturally get rally around it."
12. Dr. Kim: "I think intentionality, we don't realize how much that makes a difference. And our wives notice that."

Time to Talk About it:

1. What is one guardrail you'd like to see implemented in your marriage to strengthen and protect it?
2. What is one step we can take today to make our marriage more of a priority?
3. How can you begin to support one another spiritually so that your relationship with Jesus will grow? How can you see that shaping your marriage?

Mentioned in This Episode:

• Once a year we do something HUGE! 10 resources for one donation. Don't miss our April bundle- your marriage will thank you for it!
• Check out Jim Ramos and Men in the Arena.
• Men- check out their instagram page. Wives- share their page with your husband.
• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!
• Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week with our FREE Weekly Marriage Check in Guide!

• We believe in boundaries as tools to protect your marriage and give you freedom to enjoy your marriage. Here's a tool to help you protect your marriage.

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Need a place to start discussing boundaries? God's Word is the perfect place to start and we have created a plan just for you: Boundaries in Marriage

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer, you'll receive our Most Popular Resource Bundle — 10 powerful marriage tools with a combined value of $185. Become a Marriage Changer today!

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We've explored the spectrum of narcissism, now it's time to dive into what you can do when those patterns show up in your marriage. Dr. Kim shares how to discern when to speak up and when to self-reflect, how to cultivate an atmosphere for healthy conversation, and why boundaries are essential for meaningful connection.

Episode Takeaways:

Forgiveness is not pretending something didn't happen.

Trust has to be built consistently over time.

Being a good christian spouse does not mean absorbing pain.

When you see the same behaviors repeatedly, it's time to do something.

Language matters when having productive conversations.

Change starts with responsibility, not accusation.

God sees you and He is near!

Quotes from this Episode:

You can forgive someone and still require accountability.

Healthy relationships don't make you feel like you're losing your mind.

Keep love as the goal.

Boundaries aren't unloving, they are essential.

Patterns that took years to develop don't disappear in just weeks.

Labels can explain behavior, but they rarely heal relationships.

Defensiveness feels safe, but it slowly kills intimacy.

You can't control your spouse's willingness to change — but you can control your own humility.

Most marriages don't break from one big issue, but from unaddressed patterns over time.

Healing begins when curiosity replaces accusation.

Take Time to Talk About It:

What narcissistic or self-protective patterns do you notice repeating in your marriage?

How does defensiveness show up for you — and what is it usually trying to protect?

What would it look like to take responsibility for your part without minimizing the pain you've experienced?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!
• Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week!

• Your words, your tone, your attitude- they all matter in how your spouse hears you and how connected your marriage feels. Check out our new devotional: Cut the Criticism and Cultivate Companionship

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Continue growing in love and intimacy, don't stop Pursuing Your Spouse in Marriage.

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !

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Are you caught in a maze and don't even know it? Today, Dr. Kim is joined by Ryan Wekenman to talk about the maze of self-centeredness we all have to navigate. When we begin living for applause, appreciation, or validation, we can easily drift out of sync with the Lord and into a life focused on serving ourselves—the exact opposite of what God calls us to. In this powerful conversation, Ryan and Dr. Kim challenge us to recognize the pull toward self-focus and invite us to shift our attention back where it belongs: fully on Jesus. We pray this episode encourages you to take the focus off yourself and go all in on Him.

Episode Takeaways:

• Self-centeredness is a spiritual issue that affects everyone.
• Control is often at the root of self-centeredness.
• We need to be intentional about serving others.
• Self-improvement should not come at the expense of God-centered living.
• The Lord is our shepherd; we lack nothing when we trust Him.
• Finding freedom comes from letting go of the need for validation.

Quotes from this Episode:

If Satan can't get you to not worship, he'll try to get you to make worship about you.

You don't need self-help. First and foremost, you need God's help.

The problem isn't self-help. The problem is thinking that self-help will save.

The way towards abundant life is serving and it's humbling yourself.

There's so much freedom on the other side of letting that performer in you die.

I think we have to be intentional about that because it's easy to absorb the culture and let that just become part of, well, everybody's doing it.- Dr. Kim

I think one thing that God has taught me and I still struggle with at times is learning to celebrate others. - Dr. Kim

I think what God is teaching me now, as old as I am, is that just do what I want you to do. - Dr. Kim

Time to Reflect:

1. Where in my life am I most tempted to seek applause, appreciation, or validation instead of simply seeking the Lord?
2. How might my focus on myself be affecting the way I love and serve my spouse and the people around me?
3. What is one practical way I can shift my focus from myself to Jesus in my daily decisions and interactions this week?

Connect with Ryan:

• Website: ryanwekenman.com; redrocksaustin.com
• Podcast: Afterthoughts Podcast; Stories in Scripture
• Instagram: instagram.com/ryanwekenman
• YouTube: YouTube.com/@ryanwekenman

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Today, Dr. Kim is joined by his bride, Mrs. Nancy, to talk about the freedom that comes from allowing yourself, your spouse, and your marriage to have a bad day without making it something bigger than it is. They share how they navigate the hard days, avoid the spiral of negative thoughts, and bounce back with grace and compassion toward one another. Your marriage is a gift—be encouraged to let bad days simply be days without letting them erode your view of your marriage.

Episode Highlights:

Everyone has bad days.

Early warning signs that you're starting to spiral.

The danger of turning your spouse into your opponent.

The Lord has seen you through bad days in the past, be encouraged He can do it again this time.

The powerful role grace plays when your spouse has little to give.

See how our marriages are the textbooks for our children to learn from for their future marriages.

Quotes from this Episode:

When I try to force something and Nancy isn't ready, it's not going to go well.

In everything you have to realize you're still on the same team. So, how can you help your spouse?

The problem is the opponent. Satan rejoices when we are fighting, when we are angry with one another. -Mrs. Nancy

Satan hates marriage. He hates christian marriages. He loves to destroy them.

Every marriage can be a witness for the Lord.

Being a role model for your kids, being the text book on marriage that your children need is a huge responsibility.

Sometimes you have to dig down deep and find that love for your spouse. You don't have to feel it all the time, but remember that it's there. - Mrs. Nancy

Once I learned to get past myself and get past my pride, and start giving you grace, it was a great feeling. -Mrs. Nancy

Be vulnerable enough to say "I don't have much to give." Then as a spouse, "what can I do to help you." Just that is a step forward in growing your marriage.

Take whatever is bothering you and give it to the Lord. As a christian you are forgiven anyway! - Mrs. Nancy

Worrying about your marriage shows you care about it. Showing up for counseling means you care about your marriage.

Don't compare your marriage to someone else's by what they post on Facebook.

Time to Talk About It:

1. How are we viewing our marriage right now?
2. Think about the last time we had a "bad day" in our marriage. What helped us move past it, and how can we remember to do that again next time?
3. What helps each of us reset after a hard moment or a tense day—space, reassurance, prayer, a conversation, or something else?
4. What is one simple way we could extend more grace to each other the next time one of us is having a bad day?

Mentioned in This Episode:

• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!
• Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week with our FREE Weekly Marriage Check in Guide!

• Your words, your tone, your attitude- they all matter in how your spouse hears you and how connected your marriage feels. Check out our new devotional: Cut the Criticism and Cultivate Companionship in Marriage

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Have negative thoughts about your spouse slowly replaced the positive ones? You need to start Mind Craft: Take Your Thoughts Captive to Transform Your Marriage today!

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer before March 31, you'll receive our Most Popular Resource Bundle — 10 powerful marriage tools with a combined value of $185. Become a Marriage Changer today!

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What if your marriage isn't falling apart, but just missing a key insight? In this powerful conversation, we explore "Light Bulb Moments"- the sudden realizations that can transform a relationship almost instantly. Emerson Eggerichs, author of Light Bulb Moments in Marriage and the bestselling Love and Respect, shares how couples who feel miles apart are often just inches away from breakthrough. You'll learn how understanding gender differences, taking responsibility for your responses, and applying a faith-centered perspective can lead to deeper connection and lasting change.

Episode Takeaways:

Your response is your responsibility, and you don't have to wait for your spouse to change first.

Gender roles shape how we respond when marriage gets tough.

Small insights and honest apologies create space for connection, healing, and leadership at home.

Love and respect are different, but both matter.

Quotes from this Episode:

Sometimes we feel miles apart in marriage, but in reality, we're just inches away from understanding each other- Emerson Eggerichs

When we expect our spouse to heal and complete us, we set ourselves up for disappointment; only God can fill that space.- Dr. Kim

Don't confuse silence for a lack of love.-Emerson Eggerichs

Behind every marital conflict are two good-willed people simply missing each other's signals—not enemies, just different shades of right.- Emerson Eggerichs

Apologizing isn't about taking the blame for everything—it's about sincerely owning your part, even if it's just 10%. Leave self-justification behind.- Emerson Eggerichs

No one can make you hate. You are always free to choose how you respond—claim that freedom.-Emerson Eggerichs

Take Time to Talk About it:

1. What's been your biggest "light bulb moment" in marriage?
2. Where have you shifted your focus from short-term fixes to eternal impact?
3. Think back to your last marital conflict, where could you/ should you have owned your response in a way that honors your marriage better?

Mentioned in This Episode:

• Learn more about Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his ministry Love and Respect
• Get your copy of Lightbulb Moments in Marriage
• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!
• Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week with our FREE Weekly Marriage Check in Guide!

• Your words, your tone, your attitude- they all matter in how your spouse hears you and how connected your marriage feels. Check out our new devotional: Cut the Criticism and Cultivate Companionship in Marriage

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to strengthen your marriage connection and overcome challenges? Check out Deep Waters, Deeper Love: Marriage Lessons from Jonah by Dr. Kim.

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Be the first to hear about all things Awesome Marriage, receive monthly bonus content straight from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy, and take advantage of big discounts by becoming a Marriage Changer!

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We are quick to label selfish or defensive behavior as "narcissism," but what if the issue runs deeper than personality? In this episode, we explore how disordered desires, our need for control, comfort, or validation, shape the way we relate to others and quietly erode connection.

This conversation unpacks the difference between healthy self-awareness and self-absorption, why freedom begins when we stop defending ourselves, and how real change doesn't come from trying harder—but from surrendering deeper. You'll be challenged to look beneath behavior and consider what your heart is truly after.

If you're tired of surface-level fixes and ready for lasting transformation, this episode invites you to step out of self-protection and into humility, empathy, and freedom.

Episode Takeaways:

What we often label as narcissism or selfishness is rooted deeper than personality. It flows from disordered desires and a heart that wants control, comfort, or validation more than connection.

Healthy self-awareness leads to growth, humility, and empathy. Self-absorption does the opposite , it narrows our world until everything revolves around us and what we want.

Freedom starts when we stop defending ourselves.

Change doesn't come from trying harder, but surrendering deeper.

Quotes from this Episode:

"Selfishness doesn't start with what we do — it starts with what we want most."

"Narcissism isn't always loud or arrogant; sometimes it's quiet, defensive, and deeply fragile."

"You can't out-behave a heart problem — transformation always starts inside."

"The more we focus on protecting ourselves, the less capable we are of loving others."

"Growth happens when we stop asking, 'How does this affect me?' and start asking, 'How did this affect you?'"

"Humility isn't thinking less of yourself — it's thinking of yourself less."

"God isn't after better versions of us; He's after surrendered hearts."

Take Time to Talk About It:

1. Where do you notice selfishness showing up most in your relationships — words, reactions, expectations, or silence?
2. How can you tell the difference between healthy self-care and self-centeredness in your own life?
3. What might change if you stopped defending yourself and started listening with curiosity instead?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!
• Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week with our FREE Weekly Marriage Check in Guide!

• Your words, your tone, your attitude- they all matter in how your spouse hears you and how connected your marriage feels. Check out our new devotional: Cut the Criticism and Cultivate Companionship in Marriage

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to fight off the cultural pull toward discontentment in marriage? Subscribe to our 5 Marriage Lies to Defeat with Biblical Truth reading plan.

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !

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Blended families are beautiful—but they're also complex. When two lives, two histories, and often two sets of kids come together, figuring out what "family" looks like can feel overwhelming. From divided loyalties and differing parenting styles to navigating ex-spouses, finances, and faith, blended families face unique challenges that many couples aren't prepared for.

In this episode, we're joined by Ron Deal, director of FamilyLife Blended and author of The Smart Stepfamily. Ron shares practical wisdom, biblical insight, and deep encouragement for couples navigating stepfamily life. We talk about earning influence before exercising authority, managing divided loyalties, setting realistic expectations, and protecting your marriage while building unity in your home.

Whether you're part of a blended family or love someone who is, this conversation offers real hope, grace-filled guidance, and a reminder that healthy blended families are built over time—on purpose, and with God at the center.

Episode Takeaways:

Blended families are not repairs of biological families.

Creating a blended family involves new rules and dynamics.

Respect and communication are key.

Quotes from this Episode:

"You are not repairing a biological family structure. You are creating an entirely new blended family structure where the rules are different." -Ron Deal

"To be a great co-parent, you need to act divorced—respect your boundaries, let go of control, and focus on parenting your own way."- Ron Deal

"Stop pretending you have the right to influence your ex's choices. You can share your preferences respectfully, but after that, let go and parent your own way." - Ron Deal

"Your spouse is the most important adult relationship in your life—honor that allegiance, but never abandon your children." - Ron Deal

"You cannot demand love out of a child. That's something they decide on their time."- Ron Deal

"If you support the stepparent in front of your kids, if you are a team member in the parenting system, then your blended family has a chance." -Ron Deal

"You cannot have two parenting styles under one roof; blended families thrive when standards are more alike than different."- Ron Deal

Questions to Talk Through:

1. Where do we feel the most tension in our blended family right now—and how can we face it together instead of alone?
2. What is one way we can better support each other when parenting, scheduling, or outside relationships feel overwhelming?
3. What does "progress" look like for our family in this season, even if it doesn't look perfect yet?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!
• Ron and Nan Deal wrote The Mindful Marriage- it's a MUST read for all couples.
• Blended family? The Smart Stepfamily needs to be your next read!
• Check out more of what Ron is doing HERE.

• Your words, your tone, your attitude- they all matter in how your spouse hears you. Check out our new devotional: Cut the Criticism and Cultivate Companionship

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Caught in the trap of negativity towards your spouse? Start our Lord, Help my Critical Heart reading plan today.

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !

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In a world full of distractions and pressure to perform, how do we keep our identity rooted in Christ instead of our work?

In this episode, Dr. Kim sits down with long time friend, Terry Storch, to talk about leadership, stewardship, and the often unseen cost of carrying responsibility that affects others. From navigating pressure and seasons of life to holding the tension between efficiency and presence, this discussion explores where leadership ends and identity begins.

Be encouraged to establish healthy rhythms, protect what's sacred, and remain centered on Christ—remembering that the work will come and go, expectations will shift, and seasons will change, but all glory belongs to Him.

Episode Takeaways:

The "work" of life was never meant to give you value. Only our Creator can do that.

Accomplishments and achievements are driven by healthy rhythms.

The technology advancements create unique pressures and require adaptability.

Finding centeredness in a distracted world is essential for faith.

Quotes from this Episode:

"Life is a season of wilderness after wilderness because we're not in the garden yet."

"I want to be known for the small little things that I did for those people right around me."

"The need for centeredness, the need for Jesus, is more important now than ever."

"Technology, for the most part, is neutral, like money. It can be used for really good things and really bad things."

"The real story is the commitment to surrender and release, knowing it's not mine.

Take a Wider Look:

1. How do I define my identity beyond my accomplishments, and what steps can I take to focus more on who I am becoming?
2. In what ways might I be allowing the distractions of the world to pull me away from my core values or spiritual focus?
3. How can I separate my calling from my vocation, and what changes might I need to make to align my work with my deeper purpose?

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When we hear the word foreplay, most of us immediately think about the bedroom. But intimacy in marriage was never meant to be confined to a single moment behind closed doors. Today, we're talking about foreplay 24/7/36 the idea that emotional, spiritual, and relational connection is built continually, hour by hour, day by day. We'll explore how intentional connection outside the bedroom sets the stage for deeper intimacy inside it, why this matters so much for the health of our marriage, and how small, everyday choices can radically change the temperature of our relationship.

Episode Highlights:

What happens in the bedroom is directly affected by what happens outside the bedroom.

There are five types of intimacy that every strong marriage needs.

The goal is not perfection, it's progress.

Quotes from this Episode:

When couples neglect the other four intimacies and they only focus on the physical the relationship becomes transactional sex becomes about physical release instead of real connection. - Dr. Kim

That's often how affairs begin, not with physical attraction, but with unmet emotional needs. - Dr. Kim

When intimacy is only in the bedroom, the temperature of the marriage runs cold. - Dr. Kim

Replace bad patterns with good ones. Don't just stop the negative, start positive. Instead of scrolling, ask about their day. Instead of logistics, share something you're grateful for about them and finally give each other grace. -Dr. Kim

When you come home, prioritize your spouse above anything else. -Dr. Kim

When there's unresolved tension,when there's hurt or anger or distance, that vulnerability feels unsafe. -Dr. Kim

Awkward is better than distant. Have the conversation. -Dr. Kim

Intimacy isn't built in a single grand gesture. It's rebuilt, one conversation, one touch, one prayer at a time. -Dr. Kim

Questions Worth Discussing:

1. What's one moment from today (or this week) where we felt connected—or disconnected—and why do you think that was?
2. Did anything in the episode help you see everyday moments differently when it comes to intimacy or connection?
3. What's one small thing we could do differently this week to stay more connected outside the bedroom?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!
• Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week!

• Make sex better for BOTH of you — by romancing your spouse the way they actually desire. Check out this month's Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God's Word says about sex and intimacy? Check out Embracing the Gift of Sex in Marriage: Looking Through a Biblical Lens Part 1

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !

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Today on the Awesome Marriage Podcast, we're joined by Dan Purcell, creator of Get Your Marriage On! and the Intimately Us app. Dan is passionate about helping Christian couples build stronger, healthier marriages through better communication, playful intimacy, and gospel-centered connection. In this conversation, we explore the powerful link between spiritual and sexual intimacy in marriage. From God's design for sex to common misconceptions, practical habits, and healing struggles in the bedroom, Dan shares how faith and intimacy were always meant to work together. This episode offers encouragement and actionable wisdom for couples who want to honor God while cultivating deeper passion, joy, and closeness in their marriage.

Episode Highlights:

Experiencing really good sex in marriage requires living with virtue.

What works in marriage will change over time. You must be willing to adapt together.

Repair work is most of the work in marriage.

Quotes from this Episode:

This is a gift from God. He gave it to us to enjoy.

You can't love a person you don't know.

The more honest we can be about things, the better our marriage will be.

Sex can be really fun. It can be incredibly replenishing. It can be good for your health.

You want to get to a place where you're at ease talking about sex.

Questions Worth Discussing:

1. What part of this conversation felt most relatable to where we are right now?
2. Did anything we heard make you think differently about how our faith and our intimacy connect—or even just spark a new thought?
3. What's one small way we could be more intentional with each other this week—emotionally, spiritually, or physically?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Get to know Dan Purcell
• Listen to the Get Your Marriage On! With Dan Purcell podcast
• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!
• Make sex better for both of you- by romancing your spouse the way they actually desire. Check out this month's Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance
• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God's Word says about sex and intimacy? Check out Embracing the Gift of Sex in Marriage: Looking Through a Biblical Lens Part 1
• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance

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How are physical health and marital intimacy connected—and why does it matter more than we often realize?

In this episode, Dr. Kim and Mrs.Nancy sit down for an honest conversation about the link between physical health and intimacy in marriage. They explore how stress, exhaustion, illness, aging, and life seasons can impact connection, desire, and closeness—and why caring for our bodies is not just personal, but relational and spiritual.

This conversation helps couples navigate physical barriers to intimacy without shame or pressure, and instead with patience, understanding, and love. Whether you're in a season of strength or struggle, this episode offers hope, clarity, and encouragement to pursue intimacy the way God designed it—rooted in grace and mutual care.

You'll hear:

• Why intimacy doesn't stay effortless—and why that's normal

• How sleep deprivation, stress, and hormones impact desire and connection

• Why exhaustion often gets misread as rejection

• How physical neglect creates emotional distance

• What stewardship of your body has to do with loving your spouse

• How couples can talk about intimacy without shame or defensiveness

• Practical, realistic steps to rebuild closeness—even in demanding seasons

Quotes from This Episode:

Often as women, we feel like we have to do it all. We become physically drained and spiritually drained. -Mrs. Nancy

Our bodies aren't machines. They need to be connected to the Lord and good health. -Mrs. Nancy

We have to get past the stereotype that if you love each other that your sexual intimacy will be great. - Dr. Kim

Body, soul and spirit- you have to work on all three to get yourself in shape, to live life to the fullest. - Mrs. Nancy

The better I feel, the better I take care of myself, one our marriage is better, and two I have the energy and focus to serve Him and do the things God has lined out for me to do. -Dr. Kim

Physical health and marriage are more connected than we realize. When one suffers, the other does too—care for both intentionally. -Dr. Kim

You don't have to be 'super mom' or 'super spouse.' Recognize your limits and give yourself grace in each season of life.- Dr. Kim

Taking care of your health is not just self-improvement—it's an act of love toward your spouse and those you serve. -Dr. Kim

Even in illness, exhaustion, or stress, don't give up on intimacy. Adapt, support each other, and let these challenges draw you closer.-Dr. Kim

You don't need a perfect body—just a healthy one that lets you show up for your spouse and God's call each day.-Dr. Kim

Fitness is about being strong enough to live, love, and serve as God intended—not about looking a certain way.-Dr. Kim

Questions for Conversation:

1. How has our current physical season (energy, stress, health, sleep, life stage) been shaping our intimacy—emotionally and physically—and where do we need more understanding for each other?
2. Are there any physical or emotional barriers to intimacy that we've avoided talking about? What would it look like to approach that conversation with curiosity, prayer, and grace instead of pressure or defensiveness?
3. What is one small, realistic way we could care for our physical health together this season as an act of love and connection—not obligation?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Dr. Kim mentioned rating your intimacy in order to open the door to communication. We have a great tool for that! Check out our Love Making Survey.
• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!Make sex better for BOTH of you — by romancing your spouse the way they actually desire. Check out this month's Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance
• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God's Word says about sex and intimacy? Check out Embracing the Gift of Sex in Marriage: Looking Through a Biblical Lens Part 1
• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance

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In this episode, I'm joined by Lindsey to talk about her newest book, Don't Burn Your Own House Down—a powerful and practical guide for couples who want to stop self-sabotaging their marriage and learn how to protect what matters most. We unpack how unhealthy rhythms, unmet expectations, loneliness, and emotional struggles can quietly fuel disconnection, and why waiting for your spouse to "fix it" first often makes things worse. Whether your marriage is thriving or struggling, this conversation offers honest insight and hopeful tools to help you fireproof your relationship and pursue deeper connection in every season.

Episode Takeaways

Most marital damage is unintentional but preventable.

Self-sabotage shows up in everyday habits.

Waiting for your spouse to change first keeps couples stuck.

Behavior change alone isn't enough.

Healthy marriages are intentionally "fireproofed."

Quotes from this Episode:

Most couples don't fall apart because they stop caring. They fall apart because they stop considering each other in the little, everyday moments.

Playfulness isn't a luxury—it's an essential ingredient for a thriving, connected marriage.

Outdo each other in showing honor, and watch how your marriage flourishes.

Scorekeeping in marriage poisons connection.

If it needs to start with you, let it start with you. Your reward isn't just in the result—it's in the faithfulness and honor you show, even when it's hard.

In every word and action toward your spouse, you either speak life or spit poison.

When Jesus is at the center of your marriage, your own pride and hurts matter less—making way for unity, healing, and lasting love.

Take time to Reflect:

What little fire are you ignoring today?

Are you believing the lie that it's your spouse's job to take the first step?

What is one small change we could make this week to protect our connection?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Don't Burn Your Own House Down by Lindsey Maestas
• Lindsey is on Instagram!
• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!

• Make sex better for BOTH of you — by romancing your spouse the way they actually desire. Check out this month's Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God's Word says about sex and intimacy? Check out Embracing the Gift of Sex in Marriage: Looking Through a Biblical Lens Part 1

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance

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You all loved this conversation in the fall so we are kicking off our Wider Lens 2026 with a rerelease of this awesome interview. Jerry Flowers is bringing encouragement about the patterns of your life and posture of your heart as we talk through his new book Heart Rehab: Finding the You God Created You to Be. Lean into the discomfort, create disciplines for preparedness, and surrender your need for control in order to step into your true calling as a son or daughter of the Lord Almighty. He loves you, he is for you, and we can trust him with our hearts!

Episode Highlights:

Stop blaming everyone else. Take time for self reflection.

If we invite God in, He can use all seasons for our good and growth.

Intimacy with the Lord allows us to grow into the people God created us to be.

Discipline and preparation go hand in hand. The more disciplined you are, the more prepared you are for what God has next.

Culture influences us to mislabel our fears, thoughts and anxieties. Make sure you are labeling them correctly.

Quotes from Today's Episode:

I recognize many times, our placement in life isn't just because of problems, it's because of patterns. -Jerry Flowers

Patterns reveal character. -Jerry Flowers

Patterns are one of the ushers to certain seasons. -Jerry Flowers

We want to blame the enemy, but we have to look at ourselves too. -Jerry Flowers

Be aware of the enemy, for sure. But I think sometimes that keeps us from taking responsibility for our part. -Jerry Flowers

It may not make sense right then, but later it'll make sense. -Jerry Flowers

I see things that God put me through, before we got married, that helped me when I got married. -Dr. Kim

We want to be whole enough where the Lord can pour into us and we can pour back out.- Jerry Flowers

If you want results, you lean into discomfort.- Jerry Flowers

What changed for me is realizing that my mind can lie to me. -Jerry Flowers

A Wider Lens: Questions for Self Reflection

1. Look at your daily life and identify one unhealthy pattern you've grown comfortable with.
2. What one discipline could you start practicing to combat this pattern and prepare for what God has next?
3. Identify an area of your life you haven't fully surrendered to the Lord. Choose a Scripture verse to meditate on as you commit to trusting Him completely.

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Website: Jerryflowersministries.com ; redefinedtv.net
• Facebook: facebook.com/JerryFlowersMinistries ; facebook.com/@redefinedtv
• Instagram: instagram.com/jerryflowers.jr ; instagram.com/redefinedtv
• YouTube: youtube.com/@Beredefined
• TikTok: tiktok.com/@jerryflowers.jr
• Heart Rehab: Finding the You God Created You to Be

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Marriage is one of the most meaningful relationships we experience—but when mental health struggles enter the picture, it can feel overwhelming for both spouses. In this episode, we dive into how mental health impacts the overall health of a marriage, what couples are really facing today, and why caring for your own emotional well-being is essential for a thriving relationship.

Drawing from counseling experience and faith-based wisdom, we address common misconceptions, signs that mental health is affecting your marriage, and practical ways to support a struggling spouse without losing yourself in the process. You'll also hear encouragement for couples navigating anxiety, stress, or depression, guidance on boundaries and self-care, and insight on when to seek professional help. This honest and hope-filled conversation offers tools to help couples stay connected—even in difficult seasons.

Episode Highlights:

Mental health struggles distort how we see things.

How to identify red flags that your spouse may be dealing with something deeper.

How to recognize the difference in support and rescue.

Encouragement to remain present in the difficult season.

Quotes from This Episode:

You can't build intimacy from survival mode.

Anxiety tells you everything is a threat and depression tells you nothing is going to get better.

Resentment builds when the healthier spouse feels like they are carrying the whole load.

Your job is to walk alongside your spouse, not carry them.

This is a season, not a sentence.

Talk it Over Together:

1. What helps you feel emotionally supported by me when you're struggling?
2. Are there topics, emotions, or struggles you find hard to share with me? What makes them difficult?
3. How can we check in with each other more intentionally moving forward?

Mentioned in This Episode:

• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!

• Marriage need a reset so you can reconnect? This month's 4 Week Connection Challenge helps you and your spouse intentionally reconnect emotionally, physically, and spiritually—one simple, meaningful step at a time. Start closing the distance and rebuilding the intimacy you're longing for today.

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God's Word says about having an Awesome Marriage. Check out 7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage.

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 4 Week Connection Challenge.

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I'm so thrilled to have Dr. Kelly Flanagan back on the show. Today he is talking about his newest book The Road Less Triggered, focusing on the importance of recognizing and managing emotional triggers in relationships. The work of faith, self awareness, and compassion is vital in our relationships. Dr. Flanagan shares how to stay engaged, remain soft, and practically manage conflict in a way that brings connection to your marriage.

Episode Highlights:

Understanding Triggered Moments in Relationships

Your body is an early warning system

Living in the security of God's unconditional love provides a foundation of safety.

The posture of your heart affects how you receive communication.

Quotes from This Episode:

Most relationship conflict isn't like D-Day—it's more like Groundhog Day. We keep repeating the same patterns until we decide to break the cycle.

The heart of this work is restoring a sense of choice—the power to keep your heart open, even when you're triggered and it feels impossible.

A response is the fruit of self-regulation. A reaction is a failure of self-regulation.

You can't connect if you're protecting. Openness is required for real connection.

Our culture pushes us to blame others, but real progress comes from taking personal responsibility for how we show up.

Until we move out of being triggered and back into connection mode, we'll keep self-sabotaging every attempt to connect.

Becoming a safe environment for the people you love inspires them to open their own hearts—and builds true connection.

Seeing the ways we differ as sources of complementary wisdom, not flaws to be fixed, can revolutionize your relationship.

Questions for Conversation:

1. Think about a recent moment in your marriage where you felt triggered. What physical or emotional signals did your body give you, and how might noticing these earlier help you respond rather than react?
2. Consider a way your spouse differs from you that has caused tension. How could reframing that difference as complementary wisdom rather than a flaw shift your approach and deepen your connection?

TRIGGER CHALLENGE: Together, identify one habit or action that makes each of you feel safe and heard. Commit to practicing that habit in your interactions over the next week, then reflect on how it affected your connection.

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Read The Road Less Triggered
• Connect with Dr. Kelly Flanagan
• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!

• Marriage need a reset so you can reconnect? This month's 4 Week Connection Challenge helps you and your spouse intentionally reconnect emotionally, physically, and spiritually—one simple, meaningful step at a time. Start closing the distance and rebuilding the intimacy you're longing for today.

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. You and your spouse differ and that's a good thing. Find out how to Celebrate Differences in Marriage, rather than allow them to divide.

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 4 Week Connection Challenge

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In a culture that celebrates busyness, rest can feel almost impossible. In this episode, we explore the ancient and life-giving practice of Sabbath and why it matters now more than ever for our marriages and families. What did God intend the Sabbath to be—a rule to follow or a gift to receive? Through Scripture, practical wisdom, and real-life counseling insights, we unpack how rhythms of rest renew our emotional, spiritual, and relational health. You'll hear practical ways couples and families can begin reclaiming Sabbath together, even in the middle of busy and unpredictable schedules, and why choosing rest may be one of the most meaningful investments you can make in your home.

Episode Highlights:

Rest is a rhythm and a gift.

Rest shouldn't be legalistic, it's an invitation.

Taking a sabbath has physical and spiritual benefits.

Avoiding the sabbath can lead to spiritual dryness.

Culturally we are so distratcted and overly engaged; and it's not what we were designed for.

Quotes from this episode:

Man was not made for the Sabbath, the Sabbath was made for man. It's a gift.

The Sabbath wasn't made to restrict us; it was made to refresh us.

When we're tired, we don't choose our battles well.

The sabbath reminds me who's really in charge.

As Christians sometimes we feel like the busier we are for God, the more we are being faithful- That's a lie.

Celebrating Sabbath looks different for everyone. Choose what brings you and your family closer to God.

Rest is not lazy.

It's not about not doing anything, it's about doing things differently.

If you're exhausted, you can't pour love, patience, or joy into your family. Rest is essential for healthy relationships.

You can't just hope for Sabbath rest—be intentional, make a plan, put it on the calendar, and protect that time.

Questions to Start the Conversation:

1. How does busyness currently show up in our marriage and family life, and what has it cost us emotionally, spiritually, or relationally?
2. What would a life-giving Sabbath look like for us in this season—what would we need to stop, start, or protect in order to experience true rest together?
3. What is one practical step we can take this week to begin building a rhythm of rest that honors God and strengthens our connection as a couple?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!

• Marriage need a reset so you can reconnect? This month's 4 Week Connection Challenge helps you and your spouse intentionally reconnect emotionally, physically, and spiritually—one simple, meaningful step at a time. Start closing the distance and rebuilding the intimacy you're longing for today.

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God's Word says about having an Awesome Marriage. Check out 7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage.

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 4 Week Connection Challenge.

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Communication is the #1 issue couples ask for help with and in today's episode, have got the goods to help you overcome some very common communication mistakes! Whether you need a total overhaul or just a few friendly reminders, today's episode has practical, actionable advice to improve the communication in your marriage.

Are you making the same mistakes most couples make with communication? Dr. Kim has pretty much seen it all so he's here today to help us avoid those mistakes, and to build better communication instead.

Episode highlights include:

• Three of the most common mistakes Dr. Kim sees over and over with couples he counsels: Blame, discounting, and distraction.
• The impact each of these mistakes has on a spouse and marriage
• The practical steps to avoid each of these communication pitfalls

Quotes from This Episode:

• When you resolve conflict, both of you have to take responsibility for your part in it. I've never seen an issue where 1 person was 100% responsible. - Dr. Kim
• I think it's easy for us to rationalize, fool ourselves, and take the time to think it through. - Dr. Kim
• I've done it, I've seen it in other wives: It's easy for us in parenting to discount our husband's opinion. - Lindsay
• Listen in a way that you can let them know you heard what they said. - Dr. Kim
• As a parent with kids in the home, it's great to have the reminder that they are benefitting from us putting boundaries that let us have an adult relationship with our spouse. As important as they are to us, we should value showing them that solid foundation and modeling marriage for them. - Lindsay
• I identify with all three of these, I've done them all. It's not something you just get right then coast, you have to stay on top of it. - Dr. Kim

Questions for You:

• Do you use "I" statements to communicate what you need with your spouse?

• For example: Instead of, "You always ignore me when I'm talking," say, "I feel hurt when you scroll on your phone when I'm talking. I want to know that you care about what I have to say."

• Do you have questions about gaslighting, narcissism and blame in marriage? Send them in here and Dr. Kim will be answering listener questions in an upcoming Q&A episode

Mentioned in This Episode:

• Need more communication help? Sign up here to save your spot for Dr. Kim's FREE webinar, "7 Common Communication Mistakes Couples Make"
• Questions about gaslighting, narcissism and blame? Submit them anonymously HERE or DM us on Instagram. Dr. Kim will answer them in an upcoming episode
• Want to reduce unnecessary arguments, decrease stress in your home, develop better understanding of your spouse, OR just strengthen your bond as a couple? Our 30-Day Communication Challenge is for you!
• With Dr. Kim's One Thing email, you'll get one practical tip each weekday to build your marriage.
• The Marriage Multiplier is a quick weekly email that gives you practical ways to be intentional to grow your marriage. Sign up HERE!

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How's the romance in your marriage? How does it compare to when you were dating? (… and does that matter?)

Romance can fall by the wayside in marriage because it seems like an "extra" that you'll get around to when you have extra time or money, or if you feel inspired to make a grand gesture. But today Dr. Kim shares several reasons NOT to let that be the case in your marriage. Listen to learn why you need to bring the romance back and HOW to realistically make that happen.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Dr. Kim shares several specific ways romance benefits a marriage
• What does romance look like for men vs. for women?
• What to do if you're just not feeling it
• Whose job is it to make sure the romance is good?

Quotes from This Episode:

• "Most people would say at some point it was there. So how do you get it back?" - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• "We kind of quit doing romantic things because we're not feeling it. Sometimes we have to go ahead and do them, so that we feel it again." - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• "Marriage is a lot better when you've got romance in it." - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• "I think we'd like it to come naturally, like it does in the movies." - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• "It's ok to have the conversation. We have to get past the mindset of, 'If you really loved me, you'd know.'" - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• "Romance is a great way to show your spouse, I see you, I appreciate you, and I care about what you care about." - Lindsay Few

Questions for You:

• Have you talked about romance with your spouse? If not …
• Ask them: What is sexy to you? What is romantic to you?
• Don't judge their answers!
• Answers may change over time, so check in every now and then.

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Want better connection with your spouse? One thing we hear a lot from couples is that they don't feel close to each other or that their relationship feels like it's missing some depth. That's why today we're re-airing this episode from Dr. Kim and Christina that talks all about emotional intimacy and gives you ideas of practical ways to deepen the emotional intimacy in your marriage.

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• What is emotional intimacy, and why does it matter?
• Warning signs you need to grow in this area
• Emotional intimacy killers to avoid
• Tips to start working on this - alone, and together

Quotes from This Episode:

• "It is hard work knowing someone. You have to pay attention. It takes work to be intimate." - Christina Dodson
• "Laziness and business are going to block your intimacy, so we have to fight against those things." - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• "Give yourself opportunities to connect." - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• "It adds value to my marriage for me to have a relationship with my friends, just like it benefits our marriage that he has guy friends." - Christina Dodson
• "You could have had the best childhood in the world and you still have baggage because we're human. That's okay, and you can deal with that." - Christina Dodson
• "You can't be emotionally intimate with your spouse if you aren't aware of your own emotions." - Christina Dodson

Mentioned in This Episode:

• Our 5 Days to Deeper Emotional Intimacy digital resource provides practical steps to understand and share your emotions, and to work together to grow your emotional intimacy…and it's our gift to you for your donation of any amount.
• Your marriage can only be as healthy as the two of you are. The Bible says, "Let us examine our ways and test them and let us return to the Lord" (Lamentations 3:40). Our new Self Check-In Guide will help you do just that!
• Print out this Feelings Chart and use it to help you talk about your emotions.
• Our Questions To Help Your Spouse Open Up resource is a simple way to help build the closeness between you and your spouse. Accountability is a biblical and helpful tool for growing in holiness.

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The Awesome Marriage Podcast is on winter break, and over the next four weeks we'll be sharing some of our favorite past episodes with you.

First up: Finances! No one loves talking finances, but we do think you'll love today's conversation with Julie Baumgardner! Julie shares how to get curious about what money means to your spouse, how two spouses' separate financial backgrounds and "money stories" can stop being a source of tension, and start becoming a shared value.

Listen to this episode if you're ready to get on the same page with your spouse about finances this season - without fighting about them!

Episode highlights include:

• Questions to start a productive conversation about finances with your spouse
• How to uncover the hidden money lessons you learned growing up, then to get on the same page with your spouse.
• What recent research says about the connection of money and marital happiness
• How to learn more about your spouse's perspective about money
• Ways to work together toward shared values around money in your marriage

QUOTES:

• "You have different perspectives about money. You don't necessarily talk about what it means to you, how you think about it, therefore you argue about it." - Julie Baumgardner
• "You can have conversations about money without having to be methodical about every single penny." - Julie Baumgardner
• "If you can't figure out how to live within your means with a little, it will be very complicated to figure out how to live within your means with a lot." - Julie Baumgardner
• "It isn't 'You're right, I'm wrong,' you're being curious. And in being curious, you're learning." - Julie Baumgardner
• "If you can tell that money is creating stress, what is it about money that's stressful?" - Julie Baumgardner
• "Keep your eyes wide open for where God is calling you to join Him in his work. Be aware, and where you see a need, be a Kingdom builder. " - Julie Baumgardner

QUESTIONS FOR YOU:

• What matters most to the two of you when it comes to money? It's never too late to define your core values around money in your marriage.
• What is it about money that's stressful? If it's "what ifs," then name the what-ifs and talk through them.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• We found Julie's article on this topic SO helpful: Do finances in childhood impact your marriage? Research says yes
• Winshape Marriage online and on Instagram
• Find the Money Habitudes game online
• 6 your best married year yet with 12 Marriage Resolutions for the New Year! Click though for all the details of this uplifting resource
• You can be part of the Awesome Marriage mission by helping to get marriage content to the hurting marriages across the globe. Join our mission today!

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The holidays promise joy and togetherness but for many couples, they also bring stress, busyness, and mismatched expectations. In this episode, we're helping you slow down, reconnect, and approach the season with intention. We talk honestly about why couples often drift spiritually and emotionally in December and offer simple, realistic ways to stay grounded in Christ and connected to each other. From aligning holiday expectations to creating meaningful traditions, you'll walk away with practical tools to cultivate peace, gratitude, and unity in your marriage. Whether this season feels exciting or overwhelming, this conversation will help you not just survive the holidays—but truly thrive together.

Episode Highlights:

The holidays can magnify an already existing disconnect.

When Christ isn't the center of the holidays and your marriage, both will suffer.

True joy doesn't come from a full schedule.

Quotes from Today's Episode:

When we take our eyes off the true reason for Christmas—Christ—we get caught up in the world's chaos.

Don't abandon what nourishes your soul just because life gets hectic.

The habits that sustain you all year are even more vital during the holidays.

Keep your year-round rhythms strong—pray together, make time to communicate, and carve out quiet moments as a couple amid the December rush.

Acts of generosity spark joy and deepen your connection.

Intentionality is everything—if you aren't purposeful, the busyness will steal your time and memories.

Release the pressure to do it all—focus on what brings true joy to your family.

Give yourself permission to let go of traditions that drain you, making room for new ones—or simply space to rest, bake cookies, and enjoy music by the tree.

Couple's Conversation Guide:

1. Which part of the holidays tends to be most stressful for each of us, and why?

2. Is there a simple spiritual practice we could commit to together this December?

3. Where do our expectations differ when it comes to gifts, gatherings, travel, or downtime?

4. What new tradition could we create this year that fits who we are as a couple right now?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram.
• It's not too late to start our Very Married Christmas Couple's Advent Calendar.
• Our Annual Marriage Check Up Guide is the perfect way to assess what's working and set new goals for what's not.

• We gathered all 665 answers, organized them into the top 10 themes, and added 1 practical step for each theme so wives can better meet their husband's needs. 10 Things Husbands Want Their Wives to Understand

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. How do we take a season that is often filled with stress and anxiety and turn things around? An Awesome Marriage Christmas goes over four things you can do as a couple to reduce the stress and anxiety of the season and help you focus on Jesus.

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at Dr. AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Speaking of being intentional! Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 10 Things Husbands Want.

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No matter what season of marriage you're in, intentionality is essential. It's what keeps the spark alive, rekindles romance, and helps you withstand the temptations and pressures of everyday life. Chelsea Smith joins me to talk about her new book, "I Do" Today: A 52-Week Guide to the Marriage You've Been Waiting For. This conversation will encourage you, inspire you, and challenge you to pursue a marriage marked by purpose, growth, and joy because you were never meant to settle for anything less than an awesome marriage.

Episode Takeaways:

A healthy sex life is vital for a healthy marriage.

Serving your spouse before you feel like they deserve it will change your perspective and the atmosphere of your marriage.

Never settle for what you know about your spouse- stay curious.

Only God's design for marriage leads to the true fullness He intended for your relationship.

Quotes from this episode:

"Marriage is the hardest and most rewarding relationship we have in this life." - Dr. Kim

"We can't do it on our own." - Chelsea Smith

"The best gift we can give our children is a healthy marriage." - Chelsea Smith

"Our marriages are the strongest evangelistic tool we have." - Chelsea Smith

"Sex is different in a Christian marriage because there's a spiritual component." - Dr. Kim

"The marriage of your dreams isn't a fantasy." - Chelsea Smith

"The power of thoughts towards your spouse can change everything." - Chelsea Smith

"The marriage of your dreams is not difficult; it's work." - Chelsea Smith

"I want people to know that we still work at it. We've been through tough times too, but it's worth it." - Dr. Kim

"You can't just put them in a box and set aside. A lifetime is not long enough to learn everything there is about your spouse." - Dr. Kim

Couples Conversation Guide

1. On a scale of 1–10, how intentional have you been about investing in your marriage in this season?
2. What's one thing you could do today to move that number closer to a 10?
3. Are there any resentments, assumptions, or unspoken expectations that might be clouding how you see your spouse?
4. Does an "awesome marriage" feel attainable to you right now? If not, why—and what steps could you and your spouse take to move toward it together?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Chelsea Smith is on Instagram
• "I Do" Today: A 52 Week Guide to the Marriage You've Been Waiting For.

• We gathered all 665 answers, organized them into the top 10 themes, and added 1 practical step for each theme so wives can better meet their husband's needs. 10 Things Husbands Want Their Wives to Understand

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. God's design for marriage is the best blueprint for an awesome marriage, His Mission, Our Marriage: Building a Christ-Centered Marriage will challenge you to remember your marriage is on mission for the Kingdom.

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Speaking of being intentional! Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 10 Things Husbands Want.

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Gratitude can feel effortless when life and marriage are smooth—but what about when it's hard? In this episode, we explore how to practice honest gratitude even in seasons of struggle, disappointment, or unmet expectations. From grief and loss to conflict and emotional distance in marriage, we discuss ways couples can rebuild appreciation for each other, lean on God in difficult times, and use gratitude as a tool for hope, healing, and unity. Be encouraged to find thankfulness rooted in faith, not just feelings, even when your heart is hurting.

Main Takeaways:

Gratitude is challenging in seasons of struggle.

Honest gratitude is rooted in faith, not feelings.

Gratitude strengthens marriage and protects against division.

Spiritual rhythms help cultivate thankfulness.

Quotes from this Episode:

Choosing gratitude when you don't feel it isn't fake—it's faith in action. Sometimes, obedience comes before emotion.

When disappointment builds, we keep a mental ledger of failures and let resentment choke out gratitude.

Shifting your focus from what's wrong to what remains right isn't denial; it's a courageous act of faith, especially when you're hurting.

Gratitude flourishes when you intentionally move from deficit thinking to abundance thinking.

Don't compare your spouse to others—celebrate who they are and who they have become.

Feelings follow actions. Don't wait to feel grateful—do the grateful thing, and let your heart catch up.

Lament is honest, gratitude is hopeful. We need both, because lament without gratitude turns to bitterness, and gratitude without lament turns to denial.

Radical gratitude trusts in God's character, not in our circumstances.

Couples Conversation Guide:

"When life or our marriage feels hard, what makes it difficult for you to feel thankful? How can we support each other in those times?"

"How can we remind each other to choose gratitude rooted in faith, even when our emotions don't match our circumstances?"

"Are there ways we've lost sight of what we appreciate about each other? What's one thing we can start noticing and thanking each other for this week?"

"What daily or weekly habits—like prayer, Scripture, or reflection—could help us keep gratitude alive, even when things are tough?"

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!
• Need to refocus and cultivate gratitude? Use these 11 Gratitude Prompts
• We gathered all 685 answers, organized them into the top 10 themes, and added 1 practical step for each theme so husbands can better meet their wife's needs. 💡Unlock 10 Things Wives Want! ]

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!
• Need to refocus and cultivate gratitude? Use these 11 Gratitude Prompts

• We gathered all 685 answers, organized them into the top 10 themes, and added 1 practical step for each theme so husbands can better meet their wife's needs. 💡Unlock 10 Things Wives Want! ]

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Need a plan to cultivate gratitude in your marriage? Invite your spouse to read 4 Days to Growing Gratitude in Your Marriage

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 10 Things Women Want.
• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 10 Things Women Want.

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When life feels peaceful and marriage is running smoothly, it's easy to let your guard down—but what if those "good seasons" are actually when spiritual warfare works most subtly? In this episode, Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy talk about how the enemy can creep in through comfort and complacency, why couples should stay spiritually alert even when things feel calm, and how to build rhythms that keep you rooted in God and each other. From prayer and gratitude practices to regular marriage check-ins, we'll explore how to protect your marriage from drifting and use the good seasons as opportunities for growth, connection, and deeper faith.

Main Takeaways:

Spiritual warfare doesn't stop in the good seasons.

Comfort can lead to drift if couples aren't intentional.

Good seasons are opportunities for spiritual strengthening.

Quotes from This Episode:

Complacency is the quiet thief in marriage—it's the gradual drifting apart that happens when you think everything is okay.

The enemy attacks most fiercely when we let our guard down in times of comfort; be vigilant, even in the good seasons.

Spiritual battles aren't always sudden explosions. Sometimes, it's the everyday neglect that chips away at your relationship, step by step.

Your marriage is always on a journey—it's either moving forward or sliding backward. Choose to advance, even if you stumble.

Use seasons of peace to intentionally invest and protect your relationship.

Couples' Conversation Guide:

1. When things are going really well for us, do you ever notice ways we might start drifting spiritually or emotionally? How can we stay alert together?"
2. Are there small habits or signs you've noticed in our marriage that show we're getting a little complacent? What could we do to course-correct?
3. "During the good seasons, what's one thing we could start doing together—like prayer, gratitude, or reading Scripture—that would help strengthen our marriage and faith?"

Mentioned in this episode:

• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!
• Need to establish the rhythm of intentionality in your marriage? Use our FREE Weekly Marriage Check in Guide

• We gathered all 685 answers, organized them into the top 10 themes, and added 1 practical step for each theme so husbands can better meet their wife's needs. 💡Unlock 10 Things Wives Want! ]

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Intentionally pray over your marriage with 7 Prayers to Grow Your Marriage

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

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When life feels peaceful and marriage is running smoothly, it's easy to let your guard down—but what if those "good seasons" are actually when spiritual warfare works most subtly? In this episode, Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy talk about how the enemy can creep in through comfort and complacency, why couples should stay spiritually alert even when things feel calm, and how to build rhythms that keep you rooted in God and each other. From prayer and gratitude practices to regular marriage check-ins, we'll explore how to protect your marriage from drifting and use the good seasons as opportunities for growth, connection, and deeper faith.

Main Takeaways:

Spiritual warfare doesn't stop in the good seasons.

Comfort can lead to drift if couples aren't intentional.

Good seasons are opportunities for spiritual strengthening.

Quotes from This Episode:

Complacency is the quiet thief in marriage—it's the gradual drifting apart that happens when you think everything is okay.

The enemy attacks most fiercely when we let our guard down in times of comfort; be vigilant, even in the good seasons.

Spiritual battles aren't always sudden explosions. Sometimes, it's the everyday neglect that chips away at your relationship, step by step.

Your marriage is always on a journey—it's either moving forward or sliding backward. Choose to advance, even if you stumble.

Use seasons of peace to intentionally invest and protect your relationship.

Couples' Conversation Guide:

1. When things are going really well for us, do you ever notice ways we might start drifting spiritually or emotionally? How can we stay alert together?"
2. Are there small habits or signs you've noticed in our marriage that show we're getting a little complacent? What could we do to course-correct?
3. "During the good seasons, what's one thing we could start doing together—like prayer, gratitude, or reading Scripture—that would help strengthen our marriage and faith?"

Mentioned in this episode:

• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!
• Need to establish the rhythm of intentionality in your marriage? Use our FREE Weekly Marriage Check in Guide

• We gathered all 685 answers, organized them into the top 10 themes, and added 1 practical step for each theme so husbands can better meet their wife's needs. 💡Unlock 10 Things Wives Want! ]

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Intentionally pray over your marriage with 7 Prayers to Grow Your Marriage

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

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What if the biggest breakthroughs in your life and marriage don't happen overnight—but gradually, then suddenly? In this episode, we sit down with bestselling author and pastor Mark Batterson to talk about his new book Gradually, Then Suddenly and how God's long-game approach shapes everything from our dreams to our relationships.

Mark unpacks what it means to play the long game in faith, how to take every thought captive to Christ, and why success—whether in ministry or marriage—always grows at the "speed of a seed." We'll also explore how small, intentional choices today can create generational impact tomorrow.

If you've ever felt like growth is too slow or that your prayers are taking too long to be answered, this conversation will remind you that God is always working—gradually, then suddenly.

Episode Takeaways:

• Instead of focusing on how long something takes, we're invited to stay faithful to His good, pleasing, and perfect will—even when the outcome isn't immediate.
• Success isn't about avoiding failure—it's about learning to manage it.
• We don't need to see the whole plan to take the first step.

Quotes from Today's Episode:

1. "Whatever it is God's called you to do, it's probably going to take longer than you like and be harder than you hope for."
2. "We overestimate what we can do in a year or two, but we underestimate what God can do in 10 or 20 or 30."
3. "The cure for the fear of failure is not success. It's failure in small enough doses that you build up an immunity to it."
4. Success is usually well-managed failure.
5. It's not about pinpointing dates. It's about being faithful to his good pleasing and perfect will.
6. Whatever it is God is calling you to do is probably going to take longer than you like and be harder than you hoped for.
7. Good ideas are good but God ideas change the course of history.
8. By faith you take the first step, even if God hasn't revealed the second step.
9. You aren't going to be married very long without some curveballs.

Couples Conversation Starters:

1. How can we support each other in staying patient and faithful when God's timing feels slower than we hoped in our marriage or personal goals?
2. What are some "small failures" we've experienced together, and how can we use them to grow stronger as a couple rather than letting them discourage us?
3. Is there a step of faith—big or small—that God might be calling us to take together, even if we don't see the full path yet?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Learn more about Mark Batterson and connect with him on socials.
• Mark Batterson's new book is out! Purchase it HERE!

• We gathered all 685 answers, organized them into the top 10 themes, and added 1 practical step for each theme so husbands can better meet their wife's needs. 💡Unlock 10 Things Wives Want! ]

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to shift your perspective about your spouse and your marriage, check out Mind Craft: Take Your Thoughts Captive to Transform Your Marriage.

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 10 Things Women Want.

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We all know communication is key to a healthy marriage—but what if what you think is communication… really isn't? In this solo episode, Dr. Kim unpacks five common habits couples mistake for communication and how these patterns can quietly erode connection over time. Learn how to create safety in your conversations, break unhealthy rhythms from your past, and build new habits that foster real understanding. Because clarity is kind, connection takes intention, and communication is about more than just words—it's about being truly heard.

Episode Highlights:

Communication is the number one struggle couples mention in counseling.

Talking at someone isn't the same as talking to someone.

Unhealthy rhythms stem from our past experiences.

The first step in breaking these patterns is recognizing they are there.

Clarity is kind.

It's important that both spouses feel safe to hear and be heard.

Digital communication cannot replace connection.

Daily touch points and weekly check-ins can help combat the negative rhythms.

Quotes from Today's Episode:

When couples say they can't communicate, what they mean is "we can't connect."

We tend to overestimate how well we communicate.

We think our spouse should just know what we want to say.

Silence communicates rejection and punishment.

Your spouse can't read your mind.

Unmet expectations are just resentments waiting to happen.

Sarcasm is a shield that prevents real intimacy.

Use technology to enhance communication not to replace it.

Don't wait for problems to arise before you communicate.

Pause before you react.

James 1:19 that's countercultural advice in a world that rewards quick comeback and hot takes but it's exactly what healthy communication looks like.

Couple's Conversation Starters:

Which of the "five things that aren't really communication" do we each tend to slip into most often, and how can we help each other recognize it with grace?

When was the last time one of us felt unheard or misunderstood, and what could we do differently next time to make both of us feel safe to share honestly?

How can we build more intentional rhythms of connection—like daily touch points or weekly check-ins—to keep our communication strong and consistent?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!
• If Communication is a struggle in your marriage, check out this free webinar: 7 Communication Mistakes Couples Make In Marriage

• We gathered all 685 answers, organized them into the top 10 themes, and added 1 practical step for each theme so husbands can better meet their wife's needs. 💡Unlock 10 Things Wives Want! ]

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God's Word says about what your wife needs? Or maybe, women, you don't know how to put to words what you need. Check out 3 Things Wives Need: A Plan for Husbands and Wives.

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 10 Things Women Want.

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In this episode, Dr. Kim sits down with Ron Deal to talk about what it really means to build a mindful marriage. Ron shares lessons from his new book, Mindful Marriage, and how restoration therapy helped him and his wife Nan find healing and deeper connection. Together, they explore how faith, self-awareness, and emotional regulation can transform your relationship from the inside out.

Episode Insights:

Authenticity is the foundation of lasting happiness.

Emotional dysregulation is normal.

Our brains respond to threat, not fairness.

Pain cycles drive repeated conflict.

Growth and redemption matter more than blame.

Quotes from Today's Episode:

'Happy wife, happy life' sounds catchy, but in reality, it's an empty promise. Lasting happiness in marriage comes from authenticity, not performance or pretending everything is okay.

Every single one of us gets thrown off-balance emotionally. Some stay there longer, others move through it quickly, but emotional dysregulation is part of the human experience. There's nothing wrong about you because you get dysregulated.

The brain can't tell the difference between a rattlesnake, a near-miss in traffic, or your spouse's criticism. Threat is threat.

Our brains are wired for survival, not perfect communication.

You don't have fifty different fights in marriage. You just have one ongoing pain cycle. Once you identify and understand your pain cycle, you can finally move beyond it together.

Ignoring your pain doesn't make it go away—if anything, it makes your pain stronger, more insistent, and harder to escape.

It's easy to point out the flaw in someone else, but it's vital to focus on your own growth.

You may not forget your pain, but you can redeem what it does in your life. Choosing redemption over resentment is liberating.

Couples Conversation Guide:

Are there areas in our marriage where we tend to "perform" or pretend things are okay instead of being real with each other?

When conflict or hurt arises between you, how aware are you of what's really going on beneath the surface—your emotions, triggers, or past experiences?

What's one practical step you can take this week to be more mindful in your marriage—whether that's pausing before reacting, praying together, or choosing to listen with empathy?

Mentioned in this episode:

• 1 Amazon Bestseller is available! The Mindful Marriage (designed for every marriage).

• Ron Deal
• What's your reactive coping style? We all have one. Take our free assessment (15 minutes).
• Find Awesome Marriage on Instagram

• Need help starting the practice of prayer in your marriage? Here's a great resource: 21 Prayers for Building an Awesome Marriage

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. We even have a plan for praying as a couple! Check out 7 Prayers to Grow Your Marriage.

• Buy 1 get 1 free on the Elevate Your Marriage Communication Course & L.O.V.E Your Way Through Conflict Course.
• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Fix Communication Breakdowns Bundle

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700 episodes! What better way than to do this episode with Nancy who has been here with me through all of the seasons and cohosts and guests on the Awesome Marriage podcast. And there is no better topic for us than to talk about how powerful prayer is for your marriage and the daily rhythm of praying together. Nancy initiated praying together on our first night as a married couple and we've kept it going ever since. Not only does it serve to protect our marriage, but it serves to grow us each closer to the Lord and one another. Join us as we talk about the power of a praying couple and how to pursue spiritual growth together.

Episode Highlights:

If you feel uncomfortable, start with silent or guided prayers- just start somewhere.

Prayer becomes a rhythm that allows you to partner with God.

Prayer becomes the glue that helps you withstand the seasons of marriage and life together.

Hard times have been some of the biggest seasons of growth individually and in our marriage.

Quotes from Today's Episode:

Praying together can feel intimidating at first, but it's not about perfection—it's about inviting God into your story, one honest word at a time.

It's hard to pray when you're angry—and hard to stay angry when you start to pray.

There is power in the prayer—and even greater power in the One we pray to.

When couples choose to consistently pray and grow together, it changes everything—your marriage, your family, and generations to come will be transformed.

Let God lead you, one small step at a time. Habits of faith begin with intentional choices.

If you miss a day, don't quit. The habit matters more than perfection—keep pursuing God together.

There is nothing like drawing close to your spouse in spiritual intimacy—it's a bond deeper than anything else.

Take time to talk honestly about where you are spiritually as a couple, without judgment. Then choose just one thing to pursue together.

Couples Conversation Guide:

1. What fears or awkward feelings do we have about praying together, and how could we take a first step to make it a natural part of our relationship?
2. How has our prayer life (or the lack of it) shaped the emotional and spiritual climate of our marriage so far?
3. In what ways can we set spiritual goals together that encourage growth without feeling like a checklist or competition?
4. How can we support each other through seasons of spiritual dryness or difference in faith, and what role can Scripture or prayer rhythms play in that?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Dr. Kim is on Instagram
• Find Awesome Marriage on Instagram
• Need help starting the practice of prayer in your marriage? Here's a great resource: 21 Prayers for Building an Awesome Marriage
• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. We even have a plan for praying as a couple! Check out 7 Prayers to Grow Your Marriage.
• Buy 1 get 1 free on the Elevate Your Marriage Communication Course & L.O.V.E Your Way Through Conflict Course.
• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips.

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Mismatched sex drives in marriage? You're not alone—and it's not a problem to fix, but an opportunity to grow together.

Most couples (up to 90%!) will experience periods where their sexual desires don't line up perfectly. It's completely normal—and it's a chance to build deeper understanding, communication, and compassion in your relationship. Getting honest about differences means you can meet each other where you are, as a team.

This conversation is full of encouragement for the couple (or the spouse) who is feeling the disconnect from the different drives. Join Dr. Kim and J. Parker as they talk about normalizing this topic and making your marriage (and sex life) awesome.

Episode Highlights:

Majority of couples face the struggle of mismatched sex drives.

It's important that the lines of communication are open when talking about desire, frequency and expectation.

Open, ongoing communication is key to building intimacy.

The way we think about intimacy is often shaped by cultural messages, church teaching, or our upbringing.

Quotes from Today's Episode:

Mismatched sex drives aren't the exception—they're the norm.

Instead of seeing it as a sign something's wrong, view it as an opportunity to communicate, show compassion, and navigate intimacy as a team.

The old script that 'men want sex and women want romance' sells everyone short. You can crave both romance and intimacy, regardless of who in your marriage has the higher desire.

A thriving sex life isn't automatic—it's something you cultivate over time, through learning, honesty, and growth together.

Sometimes a gap in desire isn't about your relationship at all, but about real-life pressures.

There are times when speaking up isn't nagging—it's partnership. Express what you need, but do it out of love and with respect, seeking to connect and understand, not just correct.

Questions for Reflection:

1. When was the last time you and your spouse had a conversation about frequency?
2. Do you feel comfortable telling your spouse what you need in regards to physical intimacy?
3. What's one small step you could take this week to communicate more openly about your needs and create healthier intimacy together?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Hot, Holy and Humerous
• J Parker is on Instagram!
• Achieving Awesome Sex in Marriage online course with Dr. Kim and J. Parker

• If you are the lower drive spouse, consider taking our Think Sex Challenge. Our brain is a powerful sex organ and sometimes we have to take the time to "think sex".

• Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Fight the chaos of culture and keep your marriage grounded in Biblical truth. Check out 5 Marriage Lies to Defeat with Biblical Truth.

• If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Fix Communication Breakdowns Bundle

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What do you do when intimacy and connection in your marriage start to fade? How can you rekindle the spark, or better yet, keep it burning strong? In this episode, we talk about practical and biblical ways to nurture intimacy in all its forms. When you intentionally protect and prioritize closeness with your spouse, you not only build a marriage you truly enjoy, but you also guard your relationship against the dangers of emotional affairs.

Episode Highlights:

Identify the different types of intimacy shared within marriage.

The wholeness of your marriage matters.

All forms of intimacy must be invested in.

Boundaries keep your marriage protected.

Quotes from this episode:

Your sex life is a thermometer, not a thermostat—it reflects the health of your relationship, but it can't set it.

When couples neglect emotional and spiritual intimacy, their physical relationship becomes hollow—a beautiful house with no foundation. Sooner or later, the cracks will show.

Without emotional intimacy, sex loses its power to truly bond you together. Without spiritual intimacy, you miss God's vision for marriage—a reflection of Christ and the Church.

If you wouldn't say, do, or share it with your spouse present, don't do it. That's your boundary—protect it fiercely.

If you have nothing to hide, living transparently should be easy—openness is the glue of trust in marriage.

Couple’s Conversation Guide:

1. When you think about intimacy in your marriage, which type (physical, emotional, spiritual, or relational closeness) feels the strongest right now? Which could use more attention?
2. How do you personally feel most connected to me—through words, actions, time together, or something else?
3. What boundaries do we need to set (personally and as a couple) to guard our marriage against the threat of emotional affairs?
4. What’s one thing you’d love for us to do together that would bring more joy, fun, or connection into our marriage?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!

• This month’s resource targets all the major pain points of communication: Fix Communication Breakdowns Bundle

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Fight the chaos of culture and keep your marriage grounded in Biblical truth. Check out 4 Days to Growing Gratitude in Marriage

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Fix Communication Breakdowns Bundle

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What do you do when intimacy and connection in your marriage start to fade? How can you rekindle the spark, or better yet, keep it burning strong? In this episode, we talk about practical and biblical ways to nurture intimacy in all its forms. When you intentionally protect and prioritize closeness with your spouse, you not only build a marriage you truly enjoy, but you also guard your relationship against the dangers of emotional affairs.

Episode Highlights:

Identify the different types of intimacy shared within marriage.

The wholeness of your marriage matters.

All forms of intimacy must be invested in.

Boundaries keep your marriage protected.

Quotes from this episode:

Your sex life is a thermometer, not a thermostat—it reflects the health of your relationship, but it can't set it.

When couples neglect emotional and spiritual intimacy, their physical relationship becomes hollow—a beautiful house with no foundation. Sooner or later, the cracks will show.

Without emotional intimacy, sex loses its power to truly bond you together. Without spiritual intimacy, you miss God's vision for marriage—a reflection of Christ and the Church.

If you wouldn't say, do, or share it with your spouse present, don't do it. That's your boundary—protect it fiercely.

If you have nothing to hide, living transparently should be easy—openness is the glue of trust in marriage.

Couple’s Conversation Guide:

1. When you think about intimacy in your marriage, which type (physical, emotional, spiritual, or relational closeness) feels the strongest right now? Which could use more attention?
2. How do you personally feel most connected to me—through words, actions, time together, or something else?
3. What boundaries do we need to set (personally and as a couple) to guard our marriage against the threat of emotional affairs?
4. What’s one thing you’d love for us to do together that would bring more joy, fun, or connection into our marriage?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!

• This month’s resource targets all the major pain points of communication: Fix Communication Breakdowns Bundle

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Fight the chaos of culture and keep your marriage grounded in Biblical truth. Check out 4 Days to Growing Gratitude in Marriage

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Fix Communication Breakdowns Bundle

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I’m so thankful for this conversation with Stephanie Broersma about her brand-new resource: Reclaimed: A Course to Guide You Through Betrayal and Infidelity Trauma.

This powerful resource is designed for those walking through the trauma of betrayal, offering hope, healing, and a path forward. In our conversation, Stephanie shares how the course helps you stay connected to the Lord in the midst of grief, while also providing practical next steps and long-term rhythms to move toward restoration. She reminds us that your spouse’s decisions do not define your worth and that there is a real enemy fighting against both your marriage and your identity in Christ. If you’ve been hurting, this conversation will point you back to truth, hope, and healing.

Episode Highlights:

What fires together, wires together.

You have options when triggers begin to surface.

Triggers don’t equate to a lack of forgiveness.

There’s no need to rush. Give yourself time to get your emotions regulated before making a major decision.

Allow the Lord the space to work in the midst of the grief and in the midst of the stillness and heaviness.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

Give yourself time to grieve and heal the right way. -Dr. Kim

God designed emotions to inform us about our world. They are not bad. They give us language to express what we are feeling.- Stephanie

Triggers point you to an experienced trauma in your life and then you have an option. You have a choice. What am I going to do with this trigger?-Stephanie

As you heal, the triggers become less damaging. -Dr. Kim

Sexual addiction, at its deepest level, is a spiritual issue. A disorder of worship, not to God but to self.- Stephanie

Healing does not happen in isolation. You are not meant to be alone in this journey.-Stephanie

Forgiveness is a posture of surrender that says, 'I can't fix him. I don't want to fix him.'- Stephanie

Your spouse does not define you or your future. As long as God leaves, as long as you get that breath, God's got a plan for you.- Dr. Kim

If you’re going to get healthy, there has to be boundaries in place. And they have to be consistent.- Dr. Kim

Hope chooses faith even in the mess.

Questions for Reflection:

1. In what ways have you been tempted to let someone else’s choices define your worth, and how can you replace those lies with God’s truth about your identity?
2. What is one practical rhythm you can begin this week to stay connected to the Lord as you process pain or grief?
3. How can you recognize the enemy’s attempts to attack your marriage or identity, and what steps can you take to guard against them?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Check out Reclaimed Ministry
• Stephanie is on Instagram!
• Reclaimed: A Course to Guide You Betrayal and Infidelity Trauma

• This month’s resource targets all the major pain points of communication: Fix Communication Breakdowns Bundle

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Fight the chaos of culture and keep your marriage grounded in Biblical truth. Check out 5 Marriage Lies to Defeat with Biblical Truth.

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Fix Communication Breakdowns Bundle

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This is such an incredible conversation to wrap up our Fridays in the Fall, Wider Lens series. Jerry Flowers is bringing encouragement about the patterns of your life and posture of your heart as we talk through his new book Heart Rehab: Finding the You God Created You to Be. Lean into the discomfort, create disciplines for preparedness, and surrender your need for control in order to step into your true calling as a son or daughter of the Lord Almighty. He loves you, he is for you, and we can trust him with our hearts!

Episode Highlights:

Stop blaming everyone else. Take time for self reflection.

If we invite God in, He can use all seasons for our good and growth.

Intimacy with the Lord allows us to grow into the people God created us to be.

Discipline and preparation go hand in hand. The more disciplined you are, the more prepared you are for what God has next.

Culture influences us to mislabel our fears, thoughts and anxieties. Make sure you are labeling them correctly.

Strong core beliefs help us combat the lies of society and satan.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

I recognize many times, our placement in life isn't just because of problems, it's because of patterns. -Jerry Flowers

Patterns reveal character. -Jerry Flowers

Patterns are one of the ushers to certain seasons. -Jerry Flowers

We want to blame the enemy, but we have to look at ourselves too. -Jerry Flowers

Be aware of the enemy, for sure. But I think sometimes that keeps us from taking responsibility for our part. -Jerry Flowers

It may not make sense right then, but later it’ll make sense. -Jerry Flowers

I see things that God put me through, before we got married, that helped me when I got married. -Dr. Kim

We want to be whole enough where the Lord can pour into us and we can pour back out.- Jerry Flowers

If you want results, you lean into discomfort.- Jerry Flowers

What changed for me is realizing that my mind can lie to me. -Jerry Flowers

A Wider Lens: Questions for Self Reflection

1. Look at your daily life and identify one unhealthy pattern you’ve grown comfortable with.
2. What one discipline could you start practicing to combat this pattern and prepare for what God has next?
3. Identify an area of your life you haven’t fully surrendered to the Lord. Choose a Scripture verse to meditate on as you commit to trusting Him completely.

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Website: Jerryflowersministries.com ; redefinedtv.net
• Facebook: facebook.com/JerryFlowersMinistries ; facebook.com/@redefinedtv
• Instagram: instagram.com/jerryflowers.jr ; instagram.com/redefinedtv
• YouTube: youtube.com/@Beredefined
• TikTok: tiktok.com/@jerryflowers.jr
• Heart Rehab: Finding the You God Created You to Be

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In this episode, Dr. Kim and John West discuss “Stockholm Syndrome Christianity” and how cultural captivity can pull Christians away from biblical truth. They explore the impact of these influences on marriage, from weakened faithfulness to the generational effects of broken promises on children. The conversation highlights the need for intentionality in guarding our hearts, shaping our children’s worldview, and staying rooted in truth. Listeners will be encouraged to build marriages that mutually support, advocate, and thrive in a world that often pulls in the opposite direction.

Episode Highlights:

As believers, what we are consuming directly affects how boldly we live out our faith.

Too many believers aren’t prioritizing biblical truth and their relationships reflect their culture more than their faith.

The church has not been immune to cultural influences.

Culture tells us that feelings trump biblical truth.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

If you live your life oriented towards God's truth, it's designed for our flourishing.- John West

Every spouse needs to be their partner's biggest advocate.- John West

The impact on kids from broken marriages is traumatic. - John West

If you have a certain feeling, you don't have to act it out. - John West

If you're listening to a never-ending stream of lies, you're going to become very reticent about speaking up or living based on your Christian beliefs.- John West

What I saw in the christian community is a lot of christians being culturally captive. - John West

If you’re a christian, especially in industries, you spend a lot of your life around cultural captors.

Many christians have adopted this secular view that sex isn’t to be reserved for marriage.- John West

If you have a diet in your entertainment consumption for you and your kids, that everyone’s doing it- it’s normalized, it’s going to affect how you live. -John West

It’s really important to be in the world, not of the world. -Dr. Kim

You need to be wise enough and intentional enough to know that putting that stuff inside of you is going to have an impact- and impact your kids.- John West

The number 1 thing is you need to ask yourself- who is really raising your kids?

Couples’ Conversation Guide:

As you reflect on your marriage relationship, where do you see culture influencing you the most?

Are there biblical truths you’ve found harder to live out in today’s world? Why?

Do you believe there are any “outdated” parts of the Bible?

Who or what has the largest influence on your marriage?

Who or what has the largest influence on your children?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Learn more about the Discovery Institute and John West.
• Find Awesome Marriage on Instagram!
• Money issues don’t have to be an issue for your marriage. Check out this free course from Centsei. 4 Budgeting Mistakes Couples Make + How To Fix Them FREE Class 💸

• This month’s resource gives you the opportunity to show your spouse the appreciation they long for: 28 Fill in the Blank Thank You Notes

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Fight the chaos of culture and keep your marriage grounded in Biblical truth. Check out 5 Marriage Lies to Defeat with Biblical Truth.

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 28 Fill in the Blank Thank You Note Prompts.

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Today we’re diving into Kent’s brand-new book, Don’t Bench Yourself. In it, Kent challenges readers to take an honest look at their lives, at the opportunities they might be missing, the risks they’re avoiding, and the goals left sitting on the table. His message is clear: it’s time to get off the bench and stay in the game. Whether it’s in your career, your marriage, or your parenting journey, you can’t afford to sit on the sidelines. This book will inspire you to move past fear, let go of shame, and trust God’s perfect timing as you keep pressing forward.

Episode Highlights:

What is slow quitting?

Fear paralyzes us from stepping into deeper connections.

Shame kicks in when we try and fail and then we believe the lie that it’ll never get better than this.

Criticism can inhibit someone’s desire to continue pressing forward.

Motivation can decrease when we don’t see quick results.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

For some of us, what we need to see with our eyes of faith, is a life lived and ended in faith. - Kent Evans

You pull yourself out of the game because you think you no longer qualify to play. - Kent Evans

We get impatient with God so we quit. We draw ourselves out of the game. -Kent Evans

Fear is causing you to be stuck. - Dr. Kim

One of the fastest ways out of a problem is clearly labeling the problem. - Kent Evans

It’s so much easier to point the finger, but yet it doesn’t resolve anything. -Dr. Kim

We have a tendency as guys, when things aren't going well, we have a tendency to withdraw. -Dr. Kim

A big temptation for me is to spend time and energy where there is a really clear report card, a really clear measurable level of success. - Kent Evans

We so desperately want to measure growth and success. However, some of the best things in life can’t be measured. - Kent Evans

We have a tendency to go where we are being affirmed and people think we’re great. - Dr. Kim

A Wider Lens: Questions for Self Reflection

In 12 months how do you want your relationship with your husband or wife to be better?

In 12 months how do you want your relationship with your children to be better?

Name one part of your life where failure kept you from trying again.

Now that you’ve named it- go try again!

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Find Manhood Journey on Instagram
• Check out his ministry: Manhood Journey
• Listen to his podcast

• Buy Don’t Bench Yourself

• Dr. Kim is on Substack! Sign up HERE.

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Nancy and I are back together to discuss a topic that frequently shows up in our inbox: one-sided marriages. These are spouses who reach out because, even in the midst of disconnect and hurt, they still desire a healthy, God-honoring marriage, but feel like they’re the only one who cares or the only one willing to put in the work. How do you reconcile and reconnect? That’s the focus of our conversation today. I’m praying this episode encourages those who feel alone and offers hope and next steps for fighting for your marriage.

Episode Highlights:

Love like Christ without enabling.

Communicate with curiosity, not accusation.

Persevere in prayer and faithful action.

Seek God’s glory above all else

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

Fighting for your marriage as a Christian means pursuing Christ-like love even when it's not reciprocated

This isn't about becoming a doormat or enabling destructive behavior, but rather embodying the gospel in your relationship.

Approach with curiosity rather than accusation: "I've noticed you seem really tired lately. How can I support you?"

Continue showing love through actions without demanding emotional reciprocation.

Don't take the bait to defend yourself constantly or prove your spouse wrong—this keeps you stuck in an unhealthy cycle.

But remember, you can't force insight or repentance—that's between them and God.

Humility doesn't mean accepting mistreatment or pretending everything is fine.

Your humble confidence in who God created you to be can actually challenge your spouse to rise up rather than settle.

Standing in the gap means interceding in prayer, maintaining hope when your spouse has lost it, and continuing to live out your marriage vows even when they're not.

The goal is always God's glory and following His heart, which deeply desires reconciliation.

Couples’ Conversation Guide:

How connected do you feel to your spouse on a scale of 1-10?

Do you feel like you are trying to shoulder the burden of your marriage alone?

Are there unhealthy patterns in your marriage that need to be addressed?

Are there areas of your marriage that you’ve settled for mediocrity or disconnect?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Find Awesome Marriage on Instagram!

• Money issues don’t have to be an issue for your marriage. Check out this free course from Centsei. 4 Budgeting Mistakes Couples Make + How To Fix Them FREE Class 💸

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Need some encouragement to keep fighting for your marriage? You’ll love this FREE YouVersion plan: Fighting for Your Marriage

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 28 Fill in the Blank Thank You Note Prompts

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Nancy and I are back together to discuss a topic that frequently shows up in our inbox: one-sided marriages. These are spouses who reach out because, even in the midst of disconnect and hurt, they still desire a healthy, God-honoring marriage, but feel like they’re the only one who cares or the only one willing to put in the work. How do you reconcile and reconnect? That’s the focus of our conversation today. I’m praying this episode encourages those who feel alone and offers hope and next steps for fighting for your marriage.

Episode Highlights:

Love like Christ without enabling.

Communicate with curiosity, not accusation.

Persevere in prayer and faithful action.

Seek God’s glory above all else

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

Fighting for your marriage as a Christian means pursuing Christ-like love even when it's not reciprocated

This isn't about becoming a doormat or enabling destructive behavior, but rather embodying the gospel in your relationship.

Approach with curiosity rather than accusation: "I've noticed you seem really tired lately. How can I support you?"

Continue showing love through actions without demanding emotional reciprocation.

Don't take the bait to defend yourself constantly or prove your spouse wrong—this keeps you stuck in an unhealthy cycle.

But remember, you can't force insight or repentance—that's between them and God.

Humility doesn't mean accepting mistreatment or pretending everything is fine.

Your humble confidence in who God created you to be can actually challenge your spouse to rise up rather than settle.

Standing in the gap means interceding in prayer, maintaining hope when your spouse has lost it, and continuing to live out your marriage vows even when they're not.

The goal is always God's glory and following His heart, which deeply desires reconciliation.

Couples’ Conversation Guide:

How connected do you feel to your spouse on a scale of 1-10?

Do you feel like you are trying to shoulder the burden of your marriage alone?

Are there unhealthy patterns in your marriage that need to be addressed?

Are there areas of your marriage that you’ve settled for mediocrity or disconnect?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Find Awesome Marriage on Instagram!

• Money issues don’t have to be an issue for your marriage. Check out this free course from Centsei. 4 Budgeting Mistakes Couples Make + How To Fix Them FREE Class 💸

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Need some encouragement to keep fighting for your marriage? You’ll love this FREE YouVersion plan: Fighting for Your Marriage

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 28 Fill in the Blank Thank You Note Prompts

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Nancy and I are back together to discuss a topic that frequently shows up in our inbox: one-sided marriages. These are spouses who reach out because, even in the midst of disconnect and hurt, they still desire a healthy, God-honoring marriage, but feel like they’re the only one who cares or the only one willing to put in the work. How do you reconcile and reconnect? That’s the focus of our conversation today. I’m praying this episode encourages those who feel alone and offers hope and next steps for fighting for your marriage.

Episode Highlights:

Love like Christ without enabling.

Communicate with curiosity, not accusation.

Persevere in prayer and faithful action.

Seek God’s glory above all else

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

Fighting for your marriage as a Christian means pursuing Christ-like love even when it's not reciprocated

This isn't about becoming a doormat or enabling destructive behavior, but rather embodying the gospel in your relationship.

Approach with curiosity rather than accusation: "I've noticed you seem really tired lately. How can I support you?"

Continue showing love through actions without demanding emotional reciprocation.

Don't take the bait to defend yourself constantly or prove your spouse wrong—this keeps you stuck in an unhealthy cycle.

But remember, you can't force insight or repentance—that's between them and God.

Humility doesn't mean accepting mistreatment or pretending everything is fine.

Your humble confidence in who God created you to be can actually challenge your spouse to rise up rather than settle.

Standing in the gap means interceding in prayer, maintaining hope when your spouse has lost it, and continuing to live out your marriage vows even when they're not.

The goal is always God's glory and following His heart, which deeply desires reconciliation.

Couples’ Conversation Guide:

How connected do you feel to your spouse on a scale of 1-10?

Do you feel like you are trying to shoulder the burden of your marriage alone?

Are there unhealthy patterns in your marriage that need to be addressed?

Are there areas of your marriage that you’ve settled for mediocrity or disconnect?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Find Awesome Marriage on Instagram!

• Money issues don’t have to be an issue for your marriage. Check out this free course from Centsei. 4 Budgeting Mistakes Couples Make + How To Fix Them FREE Class 💸

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Need some encouragement to keep fighting for your marriage? You’ll love this FREE YouVersion plan: Fighting for Your Marriage

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 28 Fill in the Blank Thank You Note Prompts

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Nancy and I are back together to discuss a topic that frequently shows up in our inbox: one-sided marriages. These are spouses who reach out because, even in the midst of disconnect and hurt, they still desire a healthy, God-honoring marriage, but feel like they’re the only one who cares or the only one willing to put in the work. How do you reconcile and reconnect? That’s the focus of our conversation today. I’m praying this episode encourages those who feel alone and offers hope and next steps for fighting for your marriage.

Episode Highlights:

Love like Christ without enabling.

Communicate with curiosity, not accusation.

Persevere in prayer and faithful action.

Seek God’s glory above all else

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

Fighting for your marriage as a Christian means pursuing Christ-like love even when it's not reciprocated

This isn't about becoming a doormat or enabling destructive behavior, but rather embodying the gospel in your relationship.

Approach with curiosity rather than accusation: "I've noticed you seem really tired lately. How can I support you?"

Continue showing love through actions without demanding emotional reciprocation.

Don't take the bait to defend yourself constantly or prove your spouse wrong—this keeps you stuck in an unhealthy cycle.

But remember, you can't force insight or repentance—that's between them and God.

Humility doesn't mean accepting mistreatment or pretending everything is fine.

Your humble confidence in who God created you to be can actually challenge your spouse to rise up rather than settle.

Standing in the gap means interceding in prayer, maintaining hope when your spouse has lost it, and continuing to live out your marriage vows even when they're not.

The goal is always God's glory and following His heart, which deeply desires reconciliation.

Couples’ Conversation Guide:

How connected do you feel to your spouse on a scale of 1-10?

Do you feel like you are trying to shoulder the burden of your marriage alone?

Are there unhealthy patterns in your marriage that need to be addressed?

Are there areas of your marriage that you’ve settled for mediocrity or disconnect?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Find Awesome Marriage on Instagram!

• Money issues don’t have to be an issue for your marriage. Check out this free course from Centsei. 4 Budgeting Mistakes Couples Make + How To Fix Them FREE Class 💸

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Need some encouragement to keep fighting for your marriage? You’ll love this FREE YouVersion plan: Fighting for Your Marriage

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 28 Fill in the Blank Thank You Note Prompts

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It's week two of Wider Lens. This week, Jonathon shares his story of recognizing his addiction, confronting the root causes beneath it, and finding freedom through Christ. From misordered priorities to the hidden struggles many Christians face, this conversation explores recovery, sanctification, and the hope that healing is possible. We are praying that this episode encourages you to reflect, reprioritize and hold tightly to the hope of Jesus!

Episode Highlights:

Understanding addiction as a spectrum allows for earlier intervention and support.

Acknowledging one's addiction is the first step towards healing and transformation.

True recovery requires deep honesty and accountability beyond surface-level admissions.

Embracing those with messy sanctification stories fosters healing and growth.

Identifying and correcting disordered priorities is crucial for recovery.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

Part of what kept me in a disordered relationship with alcohol is what the devil uses “I don’t look or act like what I think an alcoholic looks like.” - J. Seidl

Radical vulnerability, when you start practicing it, it's contagious and the devil hates it. -J. Seidl

Anything that is misordered is disordered.-J. Seidl

The mommy wine juice culture, mommy needs this to be mommy, right? It's become accepted.-J. Seidl

I finally was able to stop drinking when I stopped trying to stop drinking. When I shot for Jesus, I got sobriety thrown in.-J. Seidl

If you don’t get to the root of those, it’s just going to be something else. -J. Seidl

Jesus is always going to meet us there. He's not going to let us down.- Dr. Kim

I was ultimately addicted to escapism. -J. Seidl

The muscle memory was forged and formed at a very young age. -J. Seidl

A Wider Lens: Questions for Self Reflection

What habits or priorities in my life might be “good things” that I’ve elevated above God, and how are they shaping my heart?

Where might I be numbing pain or avoiding deeper heart work instead of bringing it honestly before the Lord?

What step of accountability, surrender, or fellowship could I take this week to move closer to freedom and wholeness in Christ?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Find Jonathon on Instagram
• Buy Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic

• Check out his other books.

• Dr. Kim is on Substack. Dr. Kim goes broader than just marriage. You can get wisdom, personal stories, and godly encouragement from him weekly. Sign up today!

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Every marriage goes through seasons where spouses see the health of their relationship differently. Our unique physical needs, emotional capacities, and family backgrounds shape the expectations we bring into marriage and the ways we handle conflict. If you’re in a season where you feel unheard or disconnected, this episode offers practical ways to pursue your spouse, tools for having the hard conversations, and encouragement to take ownership of your part in the struggle. Most importantly, it will remind you that God cares deeply about you and your marriage, and you can trust Him to guide and protect it.

Episode Highlights:

• Each spouse has different emotional needs and brings different emotional baggage into a marriage.
• It’s important to approach the content spouse with grace.
• Men and women have different relational needs.
• Just because you don’t talk about, or acknowledge issues, doesn’t mean they will just go away.
• Even if you feel lonely and isolated and unheard in your marriage, you can trust the Lord with your heart.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

Some people have a higher tolerance for dysfunction or distance in relationships.

Couples may be sharing responsibilities without sharing their hearts.

Sometimes the content spouse is suppressing their emotions.

Acknowledging your part opens up the door for real conversation.

It’s ok to feel angry or frustrated, but don’t let that cause you to sin.

You're responsible for learning to manage your emotions.

A healthy marriage requires two people who are both willing to grow.

Timing and approach are everything.

Scripture should be a guide not a weapon.

Couples’ Conversation Guide:

1. How do you rate the health of your marriage right now? What do you think your spouse would rate your marriage? (If you don’t know, ask them!)
2. How safe do you feel to be vulnerable in your marriage? What do you think your spouse would rate how safe they feel in your marriage? (If you don’t know, ask them!)
3. How can you show your spouse that their feelings matter to you, even when you don’t understand them?
4. Can you identify an unhealthy pattern or rhythm in your marriage? What one positive step can you take toward changing that pattern or rhythm together?

This week’s challenge: Write your spouse a letter and share something you’ve had a hard time communicating in the past.

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Find Awesome Marriage on Instagram!
• A unified family mission can help the work/ family balance. Check out our 10 Christian Family Mission Statements.

• Help your children write God’s Word on their hearts with our FREE 11 Bible Verses For Kids to Memorize

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. If work seems to take priority over your marriage, you’ll love this FREE YouVersion plan: Boundaries in Marriage

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Raising Faithful Kids in a Cancel Culture.

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The next four Fridays I’m getting the opportunity to go a little broader than the topic of marriage and interview some incredible men who are authors, leaders, and strong men of faith. To kick it off, we are interviewing Mr. Joshua Ryan Butler to discuss his new book. God is on Your Side: How Jesus is for You When Everything Seems Against You.

In this episode, we explore what it really means to receive from Jesus instead of striving on our own. From the healing at the pool in John 5 to the picture of Barabbas’ pardon, we talk about how the gospel frees us from self-sufficiency, restores us in our failures, and feeds us when we feel empty. Together we wrestle with why we resist His help, how to cultivate spiritual hunger in a distracted world, and what it looks like to let Jesus shepherd us through shame, wounds, and wilderness seasons. It’s my prayer that this episode encourages you to believe God is on your side.

Episode Highlights:

The Lord’s love is a freely given love.

Earthly relationships may feel transactional, but God offers freedom from the burden of that.

Our God is accessible and He wants to redeem the broken parts of our lives.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"God is on your side, particularly when it most feels like life is against you." - Josh Ryan Butler

"Before I called you to use you, I called you to love you." - Josh Ryan Butler

"In the darkest moments, I found God ministering to me through His word and Spirit." - Josh Ryan Butler

"Jesus calls himself the bread of life, and the only requirement to come is that you're hungry and thirsty." - Josh Ryan Butler

"Our deepest hunger is meant to drive us towards God first and foremost." - Josh Ryan Butler

"God's no to our sin is embedded within His bigger yes to who we are created to be." - Josh Ryan Butler

We live in a culture where everybody is rewarded for what they do, and it's hard to believe that God just loves us." - Dr. Kim

"It's almost like it's too good to be true, but it is true." - Dr. Kim

Go Deeper:

1. Are there parts of your life or your heart you feel like you need to keep hidden from the Lord?
2. When’s the last time you felt lonely or alone?
3. Are there places in your life you’re denying restoration because you’re stuck in the cycle of shame?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Find Joshua Ryan Butler on Instagram.
• Buy his book: God is on Your Side: How Jesus is for You When Everything Seems Against You
• Dr. Kim is on Substack. Dr. Kim goes broader than just marriage. You can get wisdom, personal stories, and godly encouragement from him weekly. Sign up today!

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Are you truly satisfied, or always chasing more? This week we sit down with author Bobby Jamieson to talk about his book Everything Is Never Enough and the wisdom of Ecclesiastes. We’ll unpack why your spouse can’t be your joy, your job can’t be your purpose, and your family can’t give ultimate meaning. Real joy comes only from God; the giver, sustainer, and comforter. Anything else leaves us empty. Our hope is this conversation points you back to the only source who satisfies.

Episode Highlights:

• We are searching the world for a satisfaction that only comes from Him.
• It’s a crushing weight to expect our spouse to meet needs that only the Lord can meet.
• Desiring happiness and trying to create it will never work.
• A life of ease doesn’t equal a life of joy.
• Marriage is a gift to be nurtured. It’s daily decisions to care for, to provide for, to invest in your marriage.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

1. Happiness is a byproduct. If you just try to chase happiness directly, you're not really gonna get it.
2. The world leaves us wanting.
3. That eternity in our hearts is ultimately a longing for God. Only He can satisfy.
4. Only He can fill our hearts.
5. We are often tempted to seek that total good from our spouse.
6. If you bring that expectation to your husband or wife, you will crush them.
7. A lot of the joy of marriage arises as your laboring, as your communicating, as your toiling together.
8. If you view all of life as a gift of God then you can give up that need for control.
9. Marriage a whole lot of daily little kindnesses.

Couples’ Conversation Guide:

1. When’s the last time you thanked God for your spouse?
2. Where do you find it difficult to enjoy your “lot”?
3. When you consider your spouse, do you consider the fact they are a “gift” from the Lord?
4. What’s one way you can serve your spouse today?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• You need a copy of Everything is Never Enough: Ecclesiastes' Surprising Path to Resilient Happiness

• Find Awesome Marriage on Instagram

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Have you believed the lied that marriage should be your source of happiness? 5 Marriage Lies to Defeat with Biblical Truths is the reading plan for you.

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Raising Faithful Kids in a Cancel Culture.

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Is your spouse married to their job, or are you? In today’s episode, we’re talking about what happens when work takes priority over marriage and how couples can recognize the signs before it causes lasting damage. Let’s talk about why this is such a common struggle, what Scripture says about balancing work and marriage, and how to reconnect when work has created distance. If you’re feeling like your relationship is playing second to a career, this one’s for you. Let’s dive in.

Episode Highlights:

God gave us ambition and talents for a reason.

Work balance in marriage is a common struggle.

We tried to look at struggles as growth opportunities instead of failures

Society adds to the pressure we feel to pursue success first.

If conversations become logistical or date nights become extinct you may be prioritizing work over your marriage.

There’s a biblical order, that when we get that order right, everything else finds its proper place.

Prayer reminds us who our work is truly for.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

• The issue is when our ambition becomes our identity. When we believe our value comes from our next promotion.
• We are sacrificing our family for our ego.
• Our culture has us believe rest is laziness.
• Providing isn’t just about money. Your spouse needs your presence, your attention, and your emotional availability.
• Scripture makes it clear that work is good. We are created in the image of a working God. Bu work has its place in the greater order, and that place isn’t first..
• Rest and relationship are sacred.
• Boundaries aren’t restrictions. They are protections.
• Create rituals that prioritize connections.
• Our ultimate provision isn’t in our performance, it’s in God’s faithfulness.
• See what happens when you’re physically forced to be present with one another.

Couples’ Conversation Guide:

1. What one daily ritual can you begin this week to show your spouse and your marriage the energy it deserves. (coffee in the morning, lunch time phone call, prayer in the evening, etc.)
2. When you hear the word “boundaries” do you automatically feel restricted? How can we implement some boundaries that feel like protection instead?
3. Does our calendar reflect our heart for keeping our marriage first? If not, where can you begin to say “no” so that you can say “yes” to your marriage?
4. What are some physical distractions we can remove during our time together?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Find Awesome Marriage on Instagram!
• A unified family mission can help the work/ family balance. Check out our 10 Christian Family Mission Statements.

• Help your children write God’s Word on their hearts with our FREE 11 Bible Verses For Kids to Memorize

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. If work seems to take priority over your marriage, you’ll love this FREE YouVersion plan: Boundaries in Marriage

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to . receive our Raising Faithful Kids in a Cancel Culture.

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Joining me today are Dave and Ann Wilson who have written a brand new book about what it looks like to speak life into our marriages; not just with the words we say, but also in the thoughts we choose to dwell on. We’ll talk about why trying to be your spouse’s Holy Spirit never works, why kindness is actually one of the most rebellious things we can do in today’s world, and how reframing our inner dialogue can change the way we manage conflict.

Whether you’ve been shouting to be heard, or quietly holding back the pain of unspoken expectations, today’s conversation will offer biblical wisdom, practical tools, and fresh hope for building a marriage that reflects Christ’s love. We pray this episode encourages you!

Episode Highlights:

How you approach the conversation matters.

Hope and joy can only be in the Lord.

Your words have the power to build up or tear down your spouse.

Gratitude for your spouse can change your perspective of your spouse.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

Men go where they're affirmed. They go there. - Dave Wilson

I realize like when I'm in the Word, I look at things different. I look at the world different. I look at Dave different. And it started, God's Word started to change me. - Ann Wilson

But there's something that's really holy about seeing greatness in a person and being able to communicate it in some way. - Ann Wilson

I had put all my hopes and dreams in Dave. I'd taken them off of Jesus and I was like, you could make me happy. And it's easy to get into that rut of like, if you would just do X, Y, Z, I could be more content. - Ann Wilson

God’s given us to each other to sharpen one another- Dave Wilson

Speak life to your husband. Bring him back to be the man God created him to be.

We can help shape how our husbands and how our kids feel about themselves, but we have to first connect with Jesus. - Ann Wilson

What good does it do to only think of the negative?

You can’t say everything you feel!

Couples’ Conversation Guide:

1. How do we typically approach hard conversations with each other—and what could we do to make those moments feel safer and more affirming?
2. Have we unintentionally placed our hope or happiness in each other instead of in God? What would it look like to shift that back to Jesus as our source of joy?
3. What is one thing I genuinely admire or am grateful for in you that I may not say often enough? How can we be more intentional about calling out the good in each other?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Find Dave and Ann Wilson on IG.
• How to Speak Life to Your Husband When All You Want to do is Yell at Him on Amazon
• Dave and Ann Wilson’s podcast: FamilyLife Today
• Help your children write God’s Word on their hearts with our FREE 11 Bible Verses For Kids to Memorize

• Set the tone for your home and your family culture with our 10 Christian Family Mission Statements.

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you work toward growing the gratitude in your marriage, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: 4 Days to Growing Gratitude in Marriage

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Raising Faithful Kids in a Cancel Culture.

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Welcome back to the podcast, Nancy is joining me again today. These have become some of my favorite episodes, getting to do this with her! Today we’re talking about something every marriage needs, and that's forgiveness and grace. We know that even in the best marriages, we hurt each other, sometimes in small ways, sometimes in big ways. The question isn’t if we’ll need to forgive, but how we can forgive well, and extend grace like God extends grace to us. Our prayer is that this is relatable and encouraging, but also that it inspires you to evaluate the opportunities you have every day to extend grace and forgiveness to your spouse.

Episode Highlights:

• It’s important to acknowledge where you are storing up resentment.
• Forgiveness is key in the big things, but even more important in the little nuances of life.
• Marriage isn’t a game to keep score.
• When you know what a great sacrifice our Savior made, you’re able to come before Him and allow His forgiveness to pour through you onto our spouse.
• Both spouses must own their part of the conflict.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

It’s easy to get in the habit of score keeping.

We have opportunities every day to forgive.

If it's a big deal I need to address it, if it’s not then I need to let it go.

Your marriage is so much happier if you don’t let something derail you.

This is our marriage, we have to figure out what works for us.

When you forgive, it doesn’t make the sin okay.

The Holy Spirit has the job of conviction, it’s not my job.

Couples’ Conversation Guide:

1. Where in our marriage might we be unintentionally "keeping score”?
2. In what areas do you find it difficult to extend grace? How can we shift our mindset?
3. How can we better reflect God’s forgiveness towards us in the way we respond to each other’s mistakes

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Find Dr. Kim on Instagram
• Find Awesome Marriage on Instagram
• Help your children write God’s Word on their hearts with our FREE 11 Bible Verses For Kids to Memorize

• Parenting in today’s society can feel overwhelming, especially when you desire to intentionally shepherd your children toward Christ in a world that preaches quite the opposite. Create a Christ-centered culture at home with our Raising Faithful Kids Journal.

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you work toward having a forgiving and graceful marriage, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: Learning to Apologize Well in Marriage

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to . receive our Raising Faithful Kids in a Cancel Culture.

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Today on the Awesome Marriage podcast, Dr. Kim is joined by Gabe and Rebekah Lyons to discuss their latest book The Fight for Us. Through 28 years of marriage, they realized as time went on that each of them brought their own differing perspectives, expectations, and emotional maturity to the marriage. The one common thread to connecting through all the differences is and will always be clear and effective communication. It will take a fight and it will take intentionality, but your marriage will thrive and it will absolutely be worth it. We are praying this episode encourages you to keep fighting for your marriage.

Episode Highlights:

Husbands and wives are going to bring different levels of emotional maturity into the marriage.

Don’t make an agreement with the idea of “it is what it is.”

It will take daily, intentional effort to give your marriage the nurturing it needs.

Effective communication is at the cornerstone of a strong marriage.

Differing expectations aren’t bad, they’re different.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

• I want to normalize the fact that, yeah, there's conflict in marriage, but the bigger part is the repair and staying together and fighting for each other.

• A wife or a husband is a mirror and you're going to see parts of yourself that are not healed, that are not whole.

• We're all longing to be seen and known and loved fully in the absence of shame. And women are going to just keep hunting that down until they find it.

• You're not healing unless you're talking.

• It’s not that it’s right or wrong- it’s different.

• Sin separates, it's the whole goal of sin is to separate and break relationship.

• We need to be all in.

Couples’ Conversation Guide:

Have you resolved to believe the lie that it is what it is?

Are you giving your spouse space to share their emotions, free from shame and judgement?

On a scale of 1-10 how intentional are you being right now in fighting for your marriage?

What is one practical thing from today’s episode that you can begin implementing in your marriage to aid in the fight for an awesome marriage?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Find Rebekah on IG
• Find Gabe on IG

• Help your children write God’s Word on their hearts with our FREE 11 Bible Verses For Kids to Memorize

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you work toward handling conflict in a biblical way, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: 4 Ways to Fight Fair in Marriage

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to . receive our Date Night Boosters.

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What if the chaos in your life and marriage isn’t random, but the result of living out of sync with God’s divine order? In this powerful episode, Dr. Kim welcomes pastor, author, and Bible teacher Manny Arango to the show for the first time. Drawing from his book Crushing Chaos, Manny shares how God brings peace by establishing order and how that same truth can transform our marriages. From understanding “Sequence, Authority, Rhythm” to identifying the chaos we invite into our homes, this conversation is full of practical wisdom and biblical depth. Whether you're navigating stress, disconnection, or just longing for more peace at home, this episode will help you move toward order, unity, and rest.

Episode Highlights:

God’s first works calm the chaos.

Understanding God’s context changes the way we read the Bible.

God is an expert at not just blessing people with peace, but giving people order.

We can’t make lasting decisions in our marriage based on a temporary rhythm.

Boundaries are necessary for proper order.

Quotes from Today's Episode:

Alot of times we are really good at knowing what the Bible says, but not good at knowing what the Bible means.

He takes our lives which are naturally chaotic and dysfunctional and God begins to create order.

Most people think the opposite of chaos is peace, but the reality is the opposite of chaos is order.

Life is full of rhythm. You can’t fight against the rhythm of life.

God does healthy, biblically inspired boundaries.

Your feelings aren’t a good indicator of whether or not something is godly or biblical.

The Word of God has to have preeminence.

Couples’ Conversation Guide:

1. Where might we be living out of sync with God’s order in our marriage or home?
2. How do we define peace in our marriage? Do you feel like it is based on emotions or God’s order?
3. What boundaries might we need to set to protect the rhythm and health of our relationship?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Find Manny on IG.
• A book worth reading. Crushing Chaos by Manny Arango is powerful and challenging in the best way. Order yours today!
• We believe that keeping marriage fun means date night can’t be boring. Check out our Date Night Boosters. Reignite the fun and intimacy in your date nights with your spouse.
• Find Dr. Kim on Instagram

• Awesome Marriage swag is now LIVE! Grab a gift for you, your spouse or another couple. There’s something for everyone.

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you intentionally choose to prevent the chaos from taking over your marriage, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: MindCraft: Take Your Thoughts Captive to Transform Your Marriage

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to . receive our Date Night Boosters.

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In this episode, Dr. Kim opens up about how workplace relationships, especially dealing with negative and/or flirtatious coworkers, can impact marriage. He encourages couples to recognize these concerns, lean on biblical truth, and take intentional, practical steps to protect and strengthen their relationship. This episode reminds us of the power of open communication, the importance of setting healthy boundaries, and the hope we can find in trusting God through every season of marriage.

Episode Highlights:

• Concern about coworkers is a valid issue in marriages.
• Bad company can corrupt good character, as warned in scripture.
• It's essential to communicate concerns with love and honesty.
• Praying for wisdom and protection is crucial in navigating these situations.
• Strengthening the marriage bond is the best defense against outside influences.
• Being a positive influence in your spouse's life can counteract negative coworkers.
• Setting healthy boundaries for workplace relationships is necessary.
• Knowing when to step back and trust God is important.
• Focus on building a positive atmosphere at home.
• Each person is responsible for their own choices before God.
• 24/7 365 Foreplay

Quotes from this Episode:

Walk with the wise and become wise.

The company we keep matters.

Addressing the situation requires discernment not knee jerk reactions.

Even in marriage, where two become one flesh, each person remains an individual.

A spouse is to be respected.

Communicate with love and honesty.

Sometimes the most effective communication comes through questions rather than direct confrontation.

The most important thing Nancy and I have done in our marriage is prayer daily.

Be that uplifting thing that your spouse needs.

Know when to step back.

Anytime we are in a situation where we could compromise our relationship with our spouse we have to run.

Workplace relationships are significant but they aren’t all powerful.

Couple's Conversation Guide:

1. Are there relationships at your workplace that are taking time or emotional energy away from your connection with your spouse? How can you set healthy boundaries?
2. Do any coworkers influence your attitudes or behaviors in ways that conflict with the values you and your spouse have established for your marriage and home?
3. How can your faith guide you in responding to difficult or questionable coworkers while maintaining peace and integrity?
4. What steps can you take to protect your marriage from workplace stress and distractions, ensuring your spouse remains your first priority?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Find Dr. Kim on Instagram
• If you strengthen your marriage at home, the affects of work will lessen! Keeping marriage fun means date night can’t be boring. Check out our Date Night Boosters. Reignite the fun and intimacy in your date nights with your spouse.

• Awesome Marriage swag is now LIVE! Grab a gift for you, your spouse or another couple. There’s something for everyone.

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you intentionally choose to build a thriving marriage, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. If you’re realizing work relationships are interfering with your marriage this FREE YouVersion plan is for you: Better Work/ Life Balance

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to . receive our Date Night Boosters.

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In this episode of the Awesome Marriage Podcast, Dr. Kim sits down with special guest Amie Seiffert, author, speaker, and pastor, for a rich and real conversation about enjoying and engaging with God in every season. Amie shares her journey of faith and the ups and downs of pursuing her calling while raising a family. Together, they unpack the beauty of grace, the power of humor, and the comfort found in Scripture during life’s hardest seasons. Whether you’re navigating parenting, ministry, or marriage, this episode will remind you that God is present in every season.

Episode Highlights:

• Grace is a central theme in ministry and relationships.
• Find opportunities to laugh together.
• Seasons of life are temporary and ever-changing.

Quotes from this Episode:

This for now is not forever.

We are held by grace.

Humor is such a way to bring things back down to earth.

I don’t want to live offended.

We have buzz words that bring each other back to reality.

If I feel overwhelmed, I learned this at therapy, I will give a number on a scale of 1-10.

It’s hard to say you need help, but it’s rewarding.

Couple’s Conversation Guide:

1. How do you think grace shows up in our marriage—and where could we use more of it?
2. Amie talked about humor being important in marriage—what are some ways we could be more intentional about laughing together?
3. What does open communication look like for us during stressful or busy seasons? Do we need to make changes?
4. Have you ever struggled with self-doubt in your calling or role in our family? How can I better support you in those moments?
5. What season of life are we in right now, and how can we stay grounded in God while walking through it together?
6. How can we better support one another in balancing our individual callings with our family life?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Amie loves Instagram. Connect with her HERE.
• Seminary Sisters is her podcast. Check it out!
• We believe that keeping marriage fun means date night can’t be boring. Check out our Date Night Boosters. Reignite the fun and intimacy in your date nights with your spouse.

• Awesome Marriage swag is now LIVE! Grab a gift for you, your spouse or another couple. There’s something for everyone.

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you intentionally choose to build a thriving marriage, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. If you’re realizing work relationships are interfering with your marriage this FREE YouVersion plan is for you: Speak to Their Heart: 5 Ways to Love Your Spouse Well

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Date Night Boosters.

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Just when you thought you couldn’t love Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy more—this episode takes things to a whole new level. With honesty and heart, they open up about the real journey of their marriage—sharing the intentional choices, tough seasons, and deep faith that carried them through. From early challenges that could have pulled them apart to the daily decisions that drew them closer, their story reflects what’s possible when a couple chooses to build on the foundation of Christ. Their marriage is both relatable and inspiring—a powerful reminder that when God is kept first, a marriage doesn’t just survive—it thrives.

Episode Highlights:

Intentionality is key.

Marriages won't thrive naturally.

Taking ownership and openly communicating are important tools for successful marriages.

Quotes from this Episode:

Don’t be negative.

I think we were in lust not in love.

I think we had to build true love in our marriage.

We’ve learned to build bit by bit.

I thought if I loved you enough everything was going to be ok.

Until you realize how much God loves you as a person you aren’t truly free to love another person.

Divorce isn’t a word in our vocabulary anymore, commitment is!

We realize now what we were missing.

Just getting married doesn’t mean you won’t feel alone.

Questions for Conversation:

1. What part of Dr. Kim and Nancy’s story felt most relatable or surprising to you? Why?
2. Have you ever assumed love alone would be enough to fix everything? How has your view of love and commitment changed over time?
3. Have there been moments where one (or both) of you felt alone in your marriage? What helped reconnect you—or what could help now?
4. Is “divorce” or emotional withdrawal ever subtly present as an option in your mindset or language? What does it look like to choose commitment every day?
5. How can you better prioritize keeping God first in your marriage this week?
6. What’s one thing you want to be intentional about after listening to this episode—together or individually?

Mentioned in this episode:

• Find Dr. Kim on Instagram
• We believe that keeping marriage fun means date night can’t be boring. Check out our Date Night Boosters. Reignite the fun and intimacy in your date nights with your spouse.

• Awesome Marriage swag is now LIVE! Grab a gift for you, your spouse or another couple. There’s something for everyone.

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you intentionally choose to build a thriving marriage, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: Celebrating Differences in Marriage

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to . receive our Date Night Boosters.

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This is the perfect episode to kick off July, as this month at Awesome Marriage we’re highlighting the importance of dating your spouse. Arlene Pellicane joins me in the studio to talk about keeping your spouse first and your marriage fun! But what does that actually look like? In the midst of life’s demands, Arlene shares practical tips and loads of wisdom to help you keep investing in your marriage and enjoying your spouse. We pray this episode encourages your marriage.

Episode Takeaways:

• Marriage and parenting are common pain points for many people.
• The divorce rate is down, but so is the marriage rate.
• Men are marrying later and less frequently than in the past.
• Gray divorce is on the rise, with more older couples divorcing.
• Couples often stay together for the kids but drift apart afterward.
• Awareness of vulnerability in marriage is crucial.
• Gratitude can transform how you view your spouse.
• Serving your spouse should be unconditional, regardless of their actions.
• Fun is essential in maintaining a healthy marriage.
• Finding common interests can strengthen the bond between spouses. Be creative in finding fun activities together.
• Family meals are essential for daily connection.
• Prioritizing your spouse can enhance the marriage.
• It's important to forgive quickly in a marriage.
• Express gratitude for your spouse regularly.
• Shared experiences create lasting memories.
• Nurturing the marriage benefits the entire family.
• Every day together is a gift to cherish.
• The book 'Making Marriage Easier' offers practical insights.

Quotes from this Episode:

• "It's never too late to turn that around."
• "We want to avoid drifting apart."
• "Play by God's rules in your marriage."
• "Who can out-serve the other?"
• "I will try it, even if I'm not good at it."
• "What can we do all together?"
• "You don't have to do it like everyone else."
• "It blesses your kids."
• "Every day is a gift that we have together."

Questions for Conversation:

1. What practical steps can you take this week to put your marriage first, even amidst busy schedules and family demands?
2. How can you create more opportunities for fun and laughter with your spouse, making your relationship a joyful priority?
3. In what ways can prioritizing your spouse help you both feel more connected and valued in your daily life?
4. What new or creative activities can you plan together to bring more excitement and shared enjoyment into your marriage?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Find Arlene Pellicane on IG.
• We believe that keeping marriage fun means date night can’t be boring. Check out our Date Night Boosters. Reignite the fun and intimacy in your date nights with your spouse.
• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you intentionally choose to pursue the marriage God intended, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: 7 Secrets of an Awesome Marriage
• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to . receive our Date Night Boosters.

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What does it really mean to be friends with God—and how can that friendship fill our lives with lasting joy? In this uplifting episode, we talk with Faith about how intimacy with God shifts our desires, strengthens our faith, and sustains us through hardship. We also explore how to take that next step into deeper friendship with Him, and what it practically looks like to live each day knowing God as both Father and Friend. Plus, don’t miss details on our journal giveaway over on Instagram @awesome_marriage!

Episode Highlights:

• Friendship with God sparks joy in our lives.
• Joy is referenced over 400 times in scripture.
• Our default mode is to find joy in God's presence.
• Joy is not just a moment but a continuous state.
• The fall of humankind began when joy was sought outside of God.
• Joy is deeper than happiness; it encompasses peace and confidence.
• Every season of life has its own joy to discover.
• Jesus is the source of our completion and joy. Enjoying the Holy Spirit alters your desires.
• Acknowledging God in daily life fosters intimacy.
• Practicing the presence of God can be done in all activities.
• Friendship with God is accessible through salvation.

Questions for Reflection:

• How would you describe your current friendship with God?
• What moments in your life have made you feel closest to God? What did those times have in common?
• What spiritual disciplines or habits help you feel more connected to God on a daily basis?
• Are there any areas where you feel distant from God right now? What might be contributing to that?
• Are there any distractions or habits you might need to let go of to prioritize friendship with God?

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

• "We can be friends with God."
• "Jesus is where my completion is."
• "He does the heart work."
• "Acknowledge Him in all your ways."
• "God's got answers for all of us."

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Find Faith Eury Cho on Instagram
• Faith’s new devotional: Deepen Your Friendship with God
• 📢GIVEAWAY DETAILS: Win a copy of Deepen Your Friendship with God over on the Awesome Marriage Instagram page.
• Check out our June resource of the month: Love That Honors
• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you intentionally choose to grow the intimacy in your marriage and your relationship with Christ, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: 7 Prayers to Grow Your Marriage
• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

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In today’s episode, we explore how constant connectivity and work stress can quietly invade our marriages. When work becomes all-consuming, it can turn into an idol and create emotional distance between spouses. We discuss why learning to leave work at work is a spiritual discipline and how true support means walking alongside your spouse, not having all the answers. You’ll hear practical wisdom on setting boundaries together, sharing burdens, and seeking counsel early. Marriage is about more than success—it’s about not facing struggles alone.

Episode Highlights:

• Technology has blurred our boundaries between work and home.
• Learning to leave work at work is a spiritual discipline.
• Being supportive doesn’t mean you have to all the answers- it means you’re walking alongside your spouse.
• The pace of modern culture doesn’t allow proper mental closure.

Quotes from Today’s Episodes:

• A lot of people in the workplace feel the expectation to be available 24/7/365
• Work problems begin to feel like personal problems- like they need immediate attention.
• Our ultimate identity is not in our professional performance.
• Work stress can be like an invisible third person in your marriage.
• When work becomes all consuming it shifts into an idol.
• Our marriages are about something bigger than career success.
• Marriage is about sharing burdens- not just the good stuff.
• Trying to handle stress alone creates distance in the marriage.
• There’s something spiritually significant about not facing struggles alone.
• The most effective boundaries are the ones you create together.
• They need to know your concern comes from a place of care not criticism.
• The earlier you involve wise counsel the more effectively you can address issues before they become entrenched patterns.

Questions for Discussion:

• Do you currently have any transitional rituals in place? If not, what rituals can the two of you agree to implement?
• Do you currently implement any device free times/ zones?
• Are you using technology to connect with your spouse in healthy ways? (encouraging text, midday phone call)

Mentioned in This Episode:

• Find Dr. Kim on Instagram
• Check out our June resource of the month: Love That Honors
• Want to ensure you aren’t unintentionally disrespecting your spouse- our FREE resource can help: 17 Unintentionally Disrespectful Phrases To Cut Out When Speaking To Your Spouse
• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you intentionally choose to grow the intimacy in your marriage and your relationship with Christ, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan just in time for summer: Islands, Tides and the Deep: A Marriage Message from the Sea
• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• If your marriage is struggling or in crisis, don’t give up and give in. Our 11 Things to do Before you Get a Divorce webinar is your next step. There is always hope for healing and this free webinar will give you the foundation to start rebuilding if you’re willing to try!

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In this special Father’s Day edition of the podcast, I’m joined by my good friend Larry Hagner. While we’re focusing on fatherhood, this episode is packed with wisdom for every married couple. From building a stronger marriage, to deepening your connection with your kids, to taking care of your own well-being—Larry shares wisdom that every family can benefit from.

Episode Highlights:

• Community and support are essential for fathers.
• The relationship between husband and father roles is interconnected.
• Children learn about relationships from their parents' marriage.
• Legacy is built through the relationships we model.
• Seeking help and resources is a sign of strength.
• Intimacy is rooted in emotional connection.
• Understanding your partner's needs is crucial for intimacy.
• Sex is a celebration of a strong emotional bond.
• Being a spiritual leader starts with self-leadership.
• Proactive planning can enhance relationships.
• Navigating modern parenting requires open communication.
• It's okay not to have all the answers as a parent.
• Learning together with your children strengthens bonds.

Questions for Reflection:

1. Which cultural pressures do we feel most as parents right now, and how can we support each other in responding to them with biblical wisdom?
2. Are there ways we’ve let parenting take priority over our marriage lately? What small changes could help us reconnect more intentionally as a couple?
3. How do we currently approach discipline and spiritual formation—are we united in our values, and where might we need better alignment or communication?
4. What habits could we build into our week to stay emotionally and spiritually connected—not just as parents, but as husband and wife?
5. What specific Scriptures or practices can help you stay rooted as a father (parent)?

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

• "It's important to show children how to love well."
• "Creating a strong family foundation is essential."
• "I want to feel connected to her. I love her."
• "What we plan for, we can execute."
• "We can't put our head in the sand."

Mentioned in this episode:

• Find Larry’s podcast HERE.
• Connect with Larry on social media.
• This month’s resource is for every couple. Love that Honors: A 13 Day Challenge for Couples. Honor and respect aren’t always our first response or priority. This challenge will help you love your spouse the way the Lord has called you to love your spouse.
• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you intentionally choose to level up as a dad, or maybe commit to parenting God’s way, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: Fighting to be a Man of God
• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy.

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In this week’s episode, Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy unpack the powerful topic of expectations—focusing on how to clearly express what you need from your spouse. With honest conversation, a willingness to listen, and an open heart, you can transform how you communicate and connect in your relationship.

Quotes from this episode:

“I just thought you knew. And when you didn’t I would go along and get resentful”

“We were trying to fit each other in the mold.”

“Our first big argument scared the heck out of me. My unrealistic expectation was that we would never fight.”

“It’s a good idea to have a signal or cue so that you make your spouse aware.”

Questions for Reflection:

What are some expectations—spoken or unspoken—that we each bring into our marriage, and how well do we feel they’ve been understood by each other?

When was a time we misunderstood one another because expectations weren’t clearly communicated? What can we learn from that moment?

How can we create more space in our relationship for honest, judgment-free conversations about what we each need or hope for?

What’s one expectation we can both express more clearly this week—and how can we support each other in meeting it with love and grace?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Find Dr. Kim on Instagram

• This month’s resource is for every couple. Love that Honors: A 13 Day Challenge for Couples. Honor and respect aren’t always our first response or priority. This challenge will help you love your spouse the way the Lord has called you to love your spouse.

• When you’re frustrated, it’s easy to let words fly out of your mouth. Our new FREE resource: 17 Unintentionally Disrespectful Phrases To Cut Out When Speaking To Your Spouse will help couples choose words that bring life instead of cause chaos.

• Awesome Marriage has a great Premarital course to help couples have important conversations before their big day. Communicate expectations effectively and be proactive in learning your future spouse with this great course. Already married? Share this course with a couple who’s looking forward to their big day.

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you intentionally choose to puruse the marriage God intended, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: 14 Keys to Lasting Love

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy.

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In today’s episode, we’re diving into a powerful truth: the health of your marriage often comes down to what you choose to focus on. It’s easy to fixate on what’s not working, letting small annoyances grow into mountains of frustration. But what if the key to deeper connection and lasting joy is found in a simple but radical posture—gratitude?

We’ll explore how contentment isn’t resignation, but an intentional choice to see the blessings amidst the imperfections. You’ll hear honest reflections on prioritizing your spouse, the life-giving role of quality time, and how to navigate conflict in ways that build satisfaction, not resentment. Whether you're newly married or decades in, this conversation is a fresh reminder that gratitude, not settling, is the foundation of a thriving Christian marriage.

Episode highlights:

Feeling content in marriage is different from settling.

There’s a way to work through conflict that makes both spouses feel more satisfied.

Healthy conflict resolution is one of the strongest predictors of marriage satisfaction.

Silent discontentment leads to resentment that erodes at the foundation of your marriage.

The key is finding solutions that honor both spouses perspectives.

Questions to reflect:

1. What are three things about our marriage that you’re grateful for right now?
2. Are there any small annoyances in our relationship that we’ve let build up? How can we address them gently and respectfully?
3. How can we be more intentional about choosing each other—especially in the areas where our preferences or personalities differ?

Quotes from today’s episode:

“I found myself focusing on the things that weren’t working in my marriage instead of thinking about the things that were.”

“Small annoyances can grow into mountains of frustration”

“Settling comes from a place of resignation”

“Contentment flows from gratitude, an intentional choice we make.”

“Contentment says I see the imperfections in our marriage but I choose to focus on the blessings.”

“Nancy comes before my personal preferences.”

“The key word is choice.”

“Have a posture of gratitude while understanding there is room for growth.”

“Quality time is oxygen for your marriage”

"There’s a way to work through conflict that makes both spouses feel more satisfied."

Mentioned in this episode:

• Use our Marriage Reframing Challenge to change your perspective about your spouse and/or your marriage.
• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you intentionally choose to pursue the marriage God intended, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: 5 Marriage Lies to Defeat with Biblical Truth
• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy.

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In today’s episode, we’re diving into a powerful truth: the health of your marriage often comes down to what you choose to focus on. It’s easy to fixate on what’s not working, letting small annoyances grow into mountains of frustration. But what if the key to deeper connection and lasting joy is found in a simple but radical posture—gratitude?

We’ll explore how contentment isn’t resignation, but an intentional choice to see the blessings amidst the imperfections. You’ll hear honest reflections on prioritizing your spouse, the life-giving role of quality time, and how to navigate conflict in ways that build satisfaction, not resentment. Whether you're newly married or decades in, this conversation is a fresh reminder that gratitude, not settling, is the foundation of a thriving Christian marriage.

Episode highlights:

Feeling content in marriage is different from settling.

There’s a way to work through conflict that makes both spouses feel more satisfied.

Healthy conflict resolution is one of the strongest predictors of marriage satisfaction.

Silent discontentment leads to resentment that erodes at the foundation of your marriage.

The key is finding solutions that honor both spouses perspectives.

Questions to reflect:

1. What are three things about our marriage that you’re grateful for right now?
2. Are there any small annoyances in our relationship that we’ve let build up? How can we address them gently and respectfully?
3. How can we be more intentional about choosing each other—especially in the areas where our preferences or personalities differ?

Quotes from today’s episode:

“I found myself focusing on the things that weren’t working in my marriage instead of thinking about the things that were.”

“Small annoyances can grow into mountains of frustration”

“Settling comes from a place of resignation”

“Contentment flows from gratitude, an intentional choice we make.”

“Contentment says I see the imperfections in our marriage but I choose to focus on the blessings.”

“Nancy comes before my personal preferences.”

“The key word is choice.”

“Have a posture of gratitude while understanding there is room for growth.”

“Quality time is oxygen for your marriage”

"There’s a way to work through conflict that makes both spouses feel more satisfied."

Mentioned in this episode:

• Use our Marriage Reframing Challenge to change your perspective about your spouse and/or your marriage.
• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you intentionally choose to pursue the marriage God intended, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: 5 Marriage Lies to Defeat with Biblical Truth
• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy.

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In this deeply honest and hope-filled conversation, Justin and Trisha Davis open up about their journey through love, ministry, and the real struggles that nearly tore their marriage apart—including infidelity and hidden personal battles. With vulnerability and wisdom, they share how counseling, truth-telling, and taking ownership became the turning points in their healing.

Trisha shares what it looked like to face the pain of betrayal trauma, while Justin reflects on the overwhelming guilt and the hard road to forgiveness. Together, they unpack how our stories, the words spoken over us, and the lies we believe about our worth can deeply affect how we show up in relationships.

But this isn’t just a story about pain—it’s a story about redemption. About the power of grace, the courage it takes to grieve and heal, and the choice to believe that real transformation is possible.

More than behavior change, they point to the heart—the deep, inner work that allows us to discover who we really are and who God has created us to be. Their story is a beautiful reminder that no matter how broken things may feel, healing and hope are always within reach.

Episode highlights:

• Rock bottom is still a solid surface to stand when you come alongside Christ.
• Intimacy is to be fully known and know that we're fully loved.
• You never cause someone to have an affair.
• The truth sets you free because it doesn't give any room for the enemy.
• Excavating our past helps us understand our present.
• Redemptive pain can lead to growth.
• Healthy relationships require vulnerability and trust.
• Transformation comes from God's grace and our choices.

Questions for reflection:

1. What small, everyday choices are we making in our marriage that could either be building connection—or slowly creating distance?

2. Are there areas of hiddenness in our relationship—past wounds, unspoken frustrations, or shame—that we need to bring into the light?

3. What does forgiveness look like in our relationship right now?

Quotes from today’s episode:

• "I had to choose to be a truth teller myself."
• "You never cause someone to have an affair."
• "I believed I have to be perfect to be loved."
• "You can't today, but God still has a plan."
• "Healing is hard, but then it's worth it."
• "You are not as stuck as you think you are."
• "You have to stop gaslighting yourself to grieve."
• "The heart of the book is about what God can do."

Mentioned in this episode:

• Beyond Ordinary: When a Good Marriage Just Isn't Good Enough by Justin & Trisha Davis
• RefineUs Ministries Helping people experience transformation by building healthy, authentic relationships.
• Find Justin and Trisha on Instagram
• Use our Marriage Reframing Challenge to change your perspective about your spouse and/or your marriage.
• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you intentionally choose to pursue the marriage God intended, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: 5 Marriage Lies to Defeat with Biblical Truth
• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to . receive our May “7 Most Popular Resource Bundle.”

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In this special Mother’s Day episode, Dr. Kim Kimberling sits down with bestselling author Melanie Shankle to talk about her latest book, Here Be Dragons. Together, they unpack the complexities of generational trauma and explore what it means to break old cycles in order to build a new legacy of healthy relationships. It’s a conversation that’s honest, refreshing, and full of humor. Whether you're a mother or not, this episode has something for you!

Episode highlights include:

• Generational trauma affects emotional growth and relationships.
• Self-worth can be deeply impacted by parental relationships.
• Humor can be a coping mechanism for deeper issues.
• Recognizing unhealthy patterns is crucial for personal growth.
• Parenting requires intentionality and awareness of past traumas.
• Melanie embraced her daughter's individuality instead of molding her.
• Healing can come from being the parent you wished you had.
• True love is built on friendship and authenticity.
• Identifying generational trauma requires honest self-assessment.
• Creating a positive legacy is essential for future generations.
• God's timing is perfect in relationships.
• Healing is a journey that takes baby steps.
• There can be beauty in the ashes of our past.

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway:

If you were raised in the midst of unhealthy relationships, take heart—there is hope in Christ for a better future. Healing from past wounds opens the door to the freedom and joy of healthy, life-giving relationships. Along the journey, boundaries will protect your peace, forgiveness will soften your heart, and Christ must remain the foundation of it all.

Questions to Discuss:

What messages or behaviors from our families growing up do we find ourselves repeating—intentionally or not—in our relationship or with our children?

When we face conflict or stress, do our reactions feel like our own—or do they echo how our parents or caregivers responded?

Are there parts of our past—such as experiences of neglect, abuse, shame, or loss—that we haven’t fully processed and might be impacting how we show up for each other and our children?

What do you hope your legacy will be?

Quotes from today's episode:

"It's okay to not be perfect."

“You’ve gotta have your truthtellers”

“There are things we may not see as big, but they become big.”

“I always deflected with humor because I didn’t want to feel anything too deeply.”

“They’ve achieved all these things that the world says is success, but they’re still empty.”

“It’s so healing to be the thing in someone else’s life that you wish you would have had in your own.”

“I didn’t get to have that mother, but I get to be that mother.”

“There is something so beneficial about having someone who’s not your friend, validate some of the experiences you’ve been through.”

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Use our Self Check Up Guide as an opportunity for honest self reflection.
• Melanie Shankle’s Here Be Dragons
• Listen to Melanie on her wildly popular podcast The Big Boo Cast
• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Did you know we have resources for families- check those out HERE.
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

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We're excited to launch a brand-new format for the Awesome Marriage Podcast—and with it, introduce a highly requested new co-host: Mrs. Nancy Kimberling! In this episode, Dr. Kim and Nancy Kimberling take you on a heartfelt journey through the story of their relationship, from their blind date to their early years of marriage and parenting, all the way to the joy of becoming great-grandparents.

Their marriage hasn’t been without its challenges, but what’s carried them through it all is a decision they made early on: to keep God at the center of everything. Their wisdom, authenticity, and love for each other will make them one of your favorite couples to learn from.

We pray this episode encourages and blesses your marriage.

Episode Takeaways:

No matter how your marriage starts, everything changes when you invite the Lord in. He can transform the direction of your relationship in powerful ways. Building a strong, healthy marriage and family takes intentional effort and regular reflection on what’s working—and what’s not. Join the Kimberlings for an honest, up-close look at every season of marriage.

Questions to Discuss:

When’s the last time you reflected on where and when your relationship began?

What scripture could you hold on to to help anchor your marriage to Christ?

What is keeping your marriage from moving in the direction you want it to move?

Quotes:

“We had fights and I thought what is going on, I made a mistake.”

“You didn’t get the picket fence”

“I could have been the fun dad and still done discipline”

“God taught us He cares about everything”

“The more we brought Him into our conversations, our decisions. He was there. To guide us and to help us.

“It’s saved our marriage.”

“God was there when they got married, and He’s still there, and they made a covenant before Him and it matters.”

“We took divorce off the table and we kept it off the table.”

“The most important thing to do in marriage is prayer.”

“It’s so important to have godly couples who are older than you and come alongside of you with godly wisdom.”

“It’s so important to have a village, a tribe, a life group to do life with.”

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you intentionally choose to puruse the marriage God intended, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: 5 Marriage Lies to Defeat with Biblical Truth
• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to . receive our May “7 Most Popular Resource Bundle.”

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In this heartfelt and honest conversation, Dr. Kim sits down with Jimmy Rollins to unpack the real-life highs and lows of marriage. They dive into why communication, forgiveness, and a strong support system are so crucial—and how those things have played out in their own lives. From the power of simple daily appreciations to creating a safe space for open conversations, Jimmy and Dr. Kim get real about what it takes to build (and rebuild) a strong relationship. They also reflect on how easy it is to chase success in the wrong places—and how to shift the focus back to what matters most. Whether you're in a great season or struggling to find your footing, this episode is full of practical wisdom and encouragement to help you grow and heal in your marriage.

Episode Takeaways: * Every marriage is hard and requires effort. * Forgiveness is a decision, while reconciliation is a process. * Daily appreciation can reignite connection in marriage. * Creating a safe space is essential for open communication. * Winning at the wrong things can harm your marriage. * Community support is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships. * It's important to examine your own behavior in marriage. * Practical steps can lead to significant changes in relationships. * Couples should seek resources and mentorship for guidance. * The goal in marriage is to think together, not alike.

Questions to Discuss: * Are there areas of your marriage you are trying to ignore? * Are there areas you are trying to change your spouse? * How would you rate the community you have to support your marriage? * What one thing can you say “no” to today, so that you have more margin to say “yes” in your marriage.

Quotes: "Forgiveness is a decision."

"Community is what keeps us sober."

"You're not in it by yourself."

"Every marriage is hard."

"The goal is not to think alike."

"The best days are ahead of us."

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Use our FREE Weekly Marriage Check Up Guide to keep intentionally winning in your marriage!
• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you prioritize your marriage. Try this Awesome Marriage YouVersion reading plan: Traffic Signs and Your Marriage: Part 1
• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our May “7 Most Popular Resource Bundle.”

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Main takeaway:

Every relationship can be prone to drifting if we aren’t paying attention, and our marriage relationship is no exception. In this episode Dr. Kim and Lindsay talk about how easy it is to begin prioritizing good things over the best things, and how those small compromises lead to big disconnect in marriage. This episode will help you recognize the signs of drift and begin to fight back against it!

• Recognizing the signs of drifting is crucial for couples.
• Prioritizing time together is essential to prevent drifting.
• Good things can distract from nurturing the marriage.
• Drifting can happen gradually without realization.
• Communication and emotional intimacy are key to a strong marriage.
• Common signs of drifting include changes in communication and intimacy.
• Non-sexual physical touch can enhance emotional intimacy.
• It's important to address issues early before they become entrenched patterns.

Questions to Discuss:

Is your marriage reflected on your calendar?

When’s the last time you encouraged your spouse with your words?

Do you feel pressure to say yes to things outside of your marriage that in turn forces you to say no to things that would grow your marriage?

Are you protecting your energy so that you make the most of the time with your spouse?

What’s one thing you can do today to show your spouse you’re pursuing your marriage?

Quotes:

“You drift without even realizing it.”

“Sometimes good things get in the way of the most important things”

“If you’re drifting away you’re more vulnerable to sin.”

“You have to choose the best over the good.”

“There are things I could have done different.”

“In our culture, life gets in the way and we don’t even think about it.”

“I’ve always got to know that Nancy is a gift, and I have to embrace that gift, and treat her like a gift every day.”

“Drifting happens gradually.”

“Show me where you have your marriage on your calendar.”

“It’s on my calendar now.”

“It’s not going great, but everyone’s just accepting it.”

“You can do something!”

“Make sure you go to somebody who can be objective and is for your marriage.”

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Use our FREE Weekly Marriage Check Up Guide to help keep the connection and fight the drift!
• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you fight the drift in marriage? Try this Awesome Marriage YouVersion reading plan: Pursuing Your Spouse in Marriage Pt 1
• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our May “7 Most Popular Resource Bundle.”

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In this episode of the Awesome Marriage podcast, Lindsay and Dr. Kim discuss the importance of resolving conflict in a faith-centered, biblical way. They debunk the myth that Christian couples do not experience conflict and emphasize that conflict can lead to growth and deeper intimacy in relationships. Learn the biblical principles for handling conflict, practical steps for effective communication, and the significance of humility and selflessness in marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Timeouts can help manage heated discussions.
• Keeping short accounts prevents resentment from building up.
• Using the silent treatment is a form of emotional manipulation.
• Bringing up past conflicts as weapons is unhealthy for marriage.
• Involving others in conflicts before addressing them with your spouse can create triangles of conflict.
• Taking responsibility for one's actions is crucial in resolving conflicts.
• Prayer is a powerful tool for maintaining a healthy marriage.
• Biblical principles provide a framework for resolving conflicts effectively.

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway:

You will experience conflict with your spouse, and when you do it’s important to keep the Lord at the center of the conversation. Remember your spouse is not your enemy and words shouldn’t be your weapon. Acknowledge your part and be quick to forgive.

Questions to Discuss:

• Which area of conflict resolution do you need the most help in- bringing up the past, resorting to the silent treatment, or taking responsibility for your part?
• Have you brought that struggle to the Lord and invited Him into the conflict in your marriage?

QUOTES

• Conflict is normal and if done right can help our marriage grow.
• Even though we are both seeking to follow Christ, we are human.
• If your kids see you doing that, they want that, and it gives them security.
• Having a marriage that’s not life-giving, can drain you so quick. It zaps your energy.
• When a couple is able to get past the things keeping them at odds, it goes beyond the marriage too.
• I can’t meet all her needs, but God can.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Use our Marriage Boundaries Workbook to navigate tough conversations and hard seasons.
• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you navigate conflict? Try this Awesome Marriage YouVersion reading plan: Fighting for Your Marriage
• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Did you know we have resources just for handling conflict in your marriage?- check those out HERE.
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our May “7 Most Popular Resource Bundle.”

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In this conversation, Lindsay and Dr. Kim discuss the concept of cultivating a servant-hearted marriage, emphasizing the importance of serving one another selflessly. They explore how serving each other can create a loving and respectful environment, reflecting God's design for marriage. The discussion includes practical ways to serve, the impact of a servant-hearted marriage on family dynamics, and the barriers that can hinder this service. They also highlight the significance of self-examination and seeking help when facing challenges in marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Cultivating a servant-hearted marriage requires daily choices to act in love.
• Children benefit from witnessing a servant-hearted marriage.
• A servant-hearted marriage reflects God's design and glorifies Him.
• Serving one another should come from the heart, not a checklist. Counseling can help break negative patterns in marriage.

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway:

God’s design for marriage goes far beyond just coexisting with your spouse. Serving one another, respecting their wants and needs, and creating a loving relationship reflect the heart of the Lord and His design for the marriage relationship.

Questions to Discuss:

What stands in the way of you selflessly serving your spouse?

Has your relationship with your spouse become transactional?

QUOTES

• "Serving is saying, sure, I can do that."
• "Don't stay stuck there."
• "You don't just grow better."
• "God sees you."
• "It's gonna make a difference."
• “If your kids see you doing that, they want that, and it gives them security.”
• “Having a marriage that’s not life-giving, can drain you so quick. It zaps your energy.”
• “When a couple is able to get past the things keeping them at odds, it goes beyond the marriage too.”
• “I can’t meet all her needs, but God can.”

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Use our Marriage Boundaries Workbook to navigate tough conversations and hard seasons.
• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you navigate boundaries? Try this Awesome Marriage YouVersion reading plan: Boundaries in Marriage
• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Did you know we have resources for families- check those out HERE.

Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

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Dr. Kim and Lindsay dive into a heartfelt conversation about the power of communication and unity in parenting. They talk about why it’s so important for parents to be on the same page when it comes to raising their kids, facing challenges as a team, and setting a strong example through their own decision-making. Along the way, they explore how to navigate differences in parenting styles, adapt to the ever-changing needs of children as they grow, and lean on prayer for guidance in tough decisions.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• It's unrealistic to agree on everything in parenting.
• Children benefit from the security of united parents.
• It's important to filter parenting advice based on core beliefs.
• When you disagree, and you will, model respect for your spouse.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway:

Do you and your spouse struggle to stay on the same page while parenting your children? Are you handling disagreements in a way that adds to the chaos? In this episode, Dr. Kim and Lindsay discuss how to navigate the hard conversations, the power of differing perspectives, and the benefit of a strong relationship as an example to your children.

Questions to Discuss:

Are you and your spouse allowing parenting to divide or unite?

In what ways can you better support your spouse in parenting?

Have you and your spouse set aside time to discuss the goals you have for your children?

Quotes From this Episode:

“There's no shortcut to communication."

"Agreeing on core values is essential."

"Set aside time to discuss your challenges."

"Kids need security and stability."

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Use our Marriage Boundaries Workbook to navigate tough conversations and hard seasons.
• Don’t let porn teach your children about sex. Get equipped to have “The Sex Talk”
• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
• Did you know we have resources for families- check those out HERE.
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

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Dr. Kim and Camden Morgante explore how purity culture has shaped individuals' beliefs and relationships. They break down five harmful myths it promotes and examine how these misconceptions can impact a couple's sex life after marriage — including the unrealistic expectation of a fairy tale marriage as a reward for remaining pure. Dr. Morgante offers guidance to help couples move beyond the shame and guilt tied to these teachings, so they can embrace the beautiful gift God designed for marriage.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights:

Our God isn’t a transactional god.

Purity culture has been compared to the sexual prosperity gospel. Many individuals only hear negative messages about sex before marriage.

Reclaiming the beauty of sex involves holistic healing of mind, body, heart, and soul.

Teaching children about sexuality should focus on values rather than rules.

Purity culture can lead to feelings of being 'damaged goods'.

Myths of purity culture can cause disillusionment in faith.

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway:

Our motivation for purity before marriage can serve as a stumbling block to intimacy within our marriage. Purity before and within marriage is important, but our relationship with God isn’t transactional. We are missing the point of God’s heart for sex when the focus is on a reward.

Questions to Discuss:

How was the conversation surrounding sex approached in your youth?

Looking back, did you desire to stay pure before marriage and what was your motivation for purity?

Did you believe one of the “5 lies” Dr. Morgante mentioned in this episode?

What do you think Dr. Morgante means when she says that the lies of purity culture don’t just live in our minds, they live in our bodies?

QUOTES:

• These myths didn’t just live in our minds, they lived in our bodies. -Dr. Camden Morgante
• When you try to control people, it’s really easy for shame and fear to become part of it.
• The end result may be good, but the way you get there can harm people.
• Shame and guilt is not from God.
• God wants us to experience healing.
• We have to have a deeper why for it.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Dr. Camden Morgante’s Recovering from Purity Culture.
• You can connect with Dr. Camden Morgante on Instagram
• Unlock True Intimacy: Become a couple who prays together.
• We have several other AWESOME Resources on our website. Check those out HERE.
• Check out our Bible Reading plans on YouVersion and make sure you’re following us there to keep current on all our newest plans!

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Porn is doing real damage to too many Christians today. This issue is affecting a huge percentage of our brothers and sisters in Christ, and the shame that often prevents us from talking about it leads to secrecy and hinders healing.

We’re thankful that Nick Stumbo is on the podcast today. Nick is a pastor and the director of Pure Desire Ministries. Along with Barna, Pure Desire recently conducted a study on the impact porn is currently having on the Church in America. Their findings demonstrate how crucial it is to open the conversation about porn among Christians to help them find healing from its destructive impact.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• What the stats tell us about how many Christians are viewing porn regularly
• Why talking openly is ESSENTIAL for healing
• Exposing the progressive nature of porn addiction
• How to make church a place where openness is possible
• What to do if your church is not a safe place to confess
• How to prepare your kids to handle porn exposure safely

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway: The enemy would love for you to stay stuck in secrecy and shame. Jesus wants to bring freedom and healing. Take a step toward freedom today.

Questions to Discuss:

1. Do you have a safe friend you can be honest with? Are you practicing confession and accountability in your life? What can you do to help cultivate an honest, godly friendship today?
2. What is God prompting you need to take responsibility for so that you can grow closer to Him and your spouse today?

QUOTES

• “Most people won’t be surprised to know that the numbers are continuing to grow.” - Nick Stumbo
• “To my knowledge, it’s the first time in history that the majority of practicing Christians say they are doing pornography.” - Nick Stumbo
• “84% of people said there is NO ONE helping them avoid pornography.” - Nick Stumbo
• “If shame and secrecy are the sickness, then openness, community and love are what healing is all about.” - Nick Stumbo
• “By the time it blows up a marriage, the help was needed 5-10 years ago.” - Nick Stumbo
• “You’re not alone. There is help and hope for you. - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “True accountability is about me learning to be responsible for my own actions and behaviors.” - Nick Stumbo

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Pure Desire offers healing groups and great resources to help you find freedom from porn. Check them out here.
• Get the stats: Read the research by Barna and Pure Desire HERE
• If porn has impacted your marriage, take Dr. Kim’s 5 Steps to Healing After Porn Betrayal webinar to kickstart your marriage healing.
• We recommend the book Good Pictures / Bad Pictures to help equip your kids against porn exposure.

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Husbands, have you ever felt like your wife expects too much from you? Wives, have you checked whether your expectations are realistic?

Expectations in marriage can be a difficult topic, and they’re a very common source of marriage tension. Which is why today, we want to help break down misunderstandings around spouse expectations today, so that you can experience better connection and more joy in your marriage.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Wives may struggle to articulate their needs clearly.
• Non-sexual affection enhances sexual intimacy.
• Emotional connection is crucial for a healthy marriage.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway: Expectations don't have to be a source of conflict. There's a way to communicate and connect the different wants and needs you have in marriage.

Questions to Discuss:

• Are there any expectations that you feel are “too much”?
• Husbands, do you need more clarity from your wife about her expectations?
• How would you rate how well you actively listen and engage with your spouse?
• What would make you a more intentional listener? (time of day, location of conversation, free of distractions, etc.)
• When was the last time you checked in with your spouse about the overall health of your marriage relationship.
• What are the priorities in your marriage? Do you know your spouse’s priorities? How do they compare?

QUOTES

• Wives want to be part of the decision making and feel like it’s a true partnership.
• The better the non sexual connection and intimacy is, the better the physical connection and intimacy will be.
• Most men weren’t raised to be emotionally expressive.
• You don’t have to solve everything.
• When I stopped trying to fix it, I heard her better.
• A wife wants to feel prioritized.
• Learning to say things in a way your spouse can hear takes practice.
• You have to accept that God made us different as husband and wife.
• The small consistent things you do matter more than perfection.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Unlock True Intimacy: Become a couple who prays together.
• Weekly Check in Guide
• We have several other AWESOME Resources on our website. Check those out HERE.
• Check out our Bible Reading plans on YouVersion and make sure you’re following us there to keep current on all our newest plans!

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Wives, have you felt that your husband expects too much from you? Husbands, have you checked whether your expectations are realistic?

Expectations of our spouse can be a difficult topic, and they are a really frequent source of marriage tension. That’s why today, we want to help break down misunderstandings around spouse expectations today, so that you can experience better connection and more joy in your marriage. Don’t let expectations trip your marriage up. Listen today and learn to deal with the wants and needs in your marriage.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Unvoiced expectations in marriage can lead to tension.
• Communication is key to understanding each other's needs.
• Wives should express their feelings of being drained.
• Finding time for connection is essential for couples.
• Respect and appreciation are crucial for husbands.
• Physical affection is important beyond sexual intimacy.
• Teamwork in parenting strengthens the marriage bond.
• Articulating needs can help avoid misunderstandings.
• Navigating challenges together fosters a stronger partnership. It's crucial to express needs and expectations in marriage.
• Vulnerability can be challenging, especially for men.
• Regular communication opportunities can help clarify needs.
• Listening without trying to “fix it” is essential in relationships.
• Understanding each other's perspectives fosters compassion.
• Setting boundaries can enhance emotional support.
• Counseling can provide valuable tools for communication.
• Feeling overwhelmed is a signal for change, not failure.
• Asking good questions can open up important conversations.
• Investing in support can rejuvenate a marriage.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway: You can experience better connection and intimacy by learning how to navigate the misunderstandings around expectations.

Questions to Discuss:

1. Dr. Kim talked about the importance of framing your spouse in a positive way, are there places where you are negatively framing your spouse's wants or needs?
2. What boundary could you set today so that you could better meet a need for your spouse?
3. Are you a safe place for your spouse to voice the expectations that have for your marriage?

QUOTES

• God didn’t give your husband maternal instinct and that’s ok. He’s a man and that’s actually a good thing for your children to experience.
• Being overwhelmed as a woman doesn't make you a bad spouse. It’s a signal that something needs to change.
• If you’re going to frame your spouse as the problem it’s not going to go well. If you frame your spouse as your teammate then you can work together and that’s really important.
• Love and respect are something that husbands and men are designed to need.
• If you’re stretching yourself way beyond your capacity then that’s where the negative things start to happen.
• Wives, you don’t want your husband going to someone else for emotional support. You want him to go to you.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Unlock True Intimacy: Become a couple who prays together.
• Team You and Me: A Guide to Approaching Your Marriage as a Team

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Are you experiencing the power of prayer in your marriage? Prayer is an incredibly powerful habit for your marriages. In fact, research shows that 99% of couples who pray together stay together.

Prayer can be so simple, but the reality is that most couples do not make prayer a regular part of their marriage. Today we’re talking about how to practically overcome the obstacles that keep you from praying together so you can make prayer a regular part of your marriage.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• The #1 marriage-building habit - and why most couples don’t do it
• What makes prayer so powerful for marriage
• The sneaky prayer pitfalls to avoid
• How to overcome the common obstacles that keep couples from praying together
• The do-able DOs to make prayer part of your marriage

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway: Prayer is so powerful that the enemy will try anything to keep you from making it part of your marriage. Don’t let that happen.

Questions to Discuss:

1. What’s the primary obstacle that prevents you from praying regularly with your spouse?
2. What would help the two of you to make prayer a regular part of your day together?

QUOTES

• “When you’re praying together, you’re putting God first. That’s where he wants to be.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “It’s probably one of the main things that the enemy doesn’t want couples to do.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “When I can get a couple to pray together, the counseling process goes faster, and the marriage gets better.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Don’t force praying together in a certain way.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• We have several other AWESOME Prayer Resources on our website. Check those out HERE.
• Check out our Bible Reading plans on YouVersion and make sure you’re following us there to keep current on all our newest plans!

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When Chad & Adaeze Brinkman met while serving together on the worship team at church, they didn’t expect that they would one day get married. They also didn’t expect what it would be like to navigate a new marriage while facing cultural pressures as an interracial couple. But learning to have the hard conversations about their differences ultimately led to deeper intimacy. Today, we’re delighted to have Chad and Adaeze on the podcast to share their story, and equip you with practical ways to value different perspectives as a reflection of God’s design. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage. Episode highlights include:

• Why listening to real stories of different experiences matters
• How to become aware of your habitual assumptions
• Realistic first steps to grow your perspective
• Why addressing our perspective on race is essential for the church
• The relationship-building process of navigating tough conversations
• How to repair the relationship after you’ve hurt your spouse

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway: Not every couple is in an interracial marriage, but every couple deals with differences. We get a bigger picture of God’s design when we stop fighting our differences and learn to value them.

Questions to Discuss:

1. What have you learned by listening to the diverse perspectives of others in your life?
2. Are there places in your life where you encounter differing life stories and experiences among fellow Christian believers?
3. How can you make room in your life for diversity that reflects the vision of God’s kingdom?

QUOTES

• “We will never know everything there is to know about the Lord, but the beauty is in the pursuit, the relationship and the discovery.” - Adaeze Brinkman
• “It’s a very humbling lesson to let your spouse have their own perspective, and give room for that to be different than yours.” - Adaeze Brinkman
• “Everyone does what they do for a reason. They think what they think for a reason.” - Chad Brinkman
• When we dig in we realize how much we have in common.” - Chad Brinkman
• “When Jesus returns, it’s not going to be a ‘White Heaven’ or a ‘Black Heaven.’ It’s a diverse Heaven.” - Chad Brinkman
• “Listening is the most important thing.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Are you growing? A beautiful way to do that is to rub shoulders with people that are different from you.” - Adaeze Brinkman
• “The enemy knows there’s so much power in unity and diversity.” - Adaeze Brinkman

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• We loved Chad and Adaeze’s book, White Boy / Black Girl: What Our Differences Can Teach Us. Grab a copy to read their story!
• It’s Spice things up in the bedroom with our limited-time ‘Break the Bedroom Rut’ Sexy BUNDLE!
• Don’t let negative assumptions tear you apart. Use our Free Printable 15 Better Assumptions to Make About Your Spouse to nurture a healthy mindset
• Get Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

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Guys, have you lost the spark in your sex drive? If that’s you, you are not alone! Libido is a complex issue. There are so many reasons that male libido can falter, from stress and physical factors, to relational issues in your marriage. But for every factor, there are also solutions.

Learn the steps to uncover what’s driving your lack of drive so you can revive the desire. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• The physical, mental and emotional health factors that affect sex drive
• Tips to unpack the issue together in healthy ways
• Is there a place for medical advice in understanding libido?
• Challenging the cultural myths about aging and sex drive
• Steps to starting a helpful conversation about improving libido

Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for quick weekly marriage tips!

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide

Main takeaway: Husbands, have you lost the passion? Physical, mental and emotional factors all impact your sex drive but you can reignite the spark and enjoy God’s gift of sex in marriage.

Questions to Discuss:

1. Dr. Kim said that things like depression, anxiety, financial stress, relational tension or past trauma can reduce libido. Are any of those affecting your sexual relationship today?
2. What would you like to experience more of together in your sexual relationship?
3. What can you do together to make that happen?

QUOTES

• “If you’ve got problems from the past that affect you in the present, you need someone to help you work through that.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “When the assumptions got on the table, we realized they were wrong. That made such a huge difference.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Low libido doesn’t indicate cheating or porn addiction, it’s usually more complex than that.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• The longer you let it go, the worse it’s going to get. - Dr. Kim Kimberling

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Congrats to our Awesome Marriage of the Year - Brett and Megan Hamilton! To learn more about National Marriage week, visit their website HERE.
• Spice things up in the bedroom with our limited-time ‘Break the Bedroom Rut’ Sexy BUNDLE!
• Don’t let negative assumptions tear you apart. Use our Free Printable 15 Better Assumptions to Make About Your Spouse to nurture a healthy mindset
• Get Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

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Wives, do you seem to be less interested in sex? It’s a common issue, and so many factors affect female libido, from hormonal changes, and emotional disconnection to just plain busyness.

Whether stemming from physical health or the health of your marriage, there are many ways you and your spouse can work together to bring back the passion and renew your sex drive.

Today, we’re troubleshooting the issue with tips for wives with low libido, so you can bring back the passion in your marriage. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Tips on healthy communication about sex drive issues
• Understanding the effects of stress on a wife’s sex drive
• How to work together to share the mental load
• Is lack of sex drive a sign of infidelity?
• Building empathy to help reconnect and rekindle her passion

Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for quick weekly marriage tips!

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide

Main takeaway: Ladies, don’t let your sex life struggle! Learn to unpack the factors that impact your sex drive, so you can troubleshoot and get things back on track.

Questions to Discuss:

1. Are there any factors that you know are affecting your libido in this season? (Stress, exhaustion, depression, peri menopause, postpartum, etc.)
2. Are there any relationship factors affecting your interest in sex right now?
3. What would help you to mitigate the effects of those things today?

QUOTES

• “For guys, it’s about how do I meet her where she is right now?” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “If there’s not full trust, it’s going to be very hard to be interested in sex.” - Lindsay Few
• “It’s ok to talk about sex.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “There are so many things that typically the wife does by default. Look at what is weighing on you that keeps you from even having time to be interested in sex.” - Lindsay Few
• “The really good marriages I see are the ones committed to working through things. It doesn’t come easy, but they’re committed to work through it.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Spice things up in the bedroom with our limited-time ‘Break the Bedroom Rut’ Sexy Bundle!
• Some of our past episodes on Trust in Marriage:
• Types of Trust Every Marriage Needs | Ep. 614

• How to Heal and Rebuild After Trust is Broken | Ep. 616

• Grab the free 15 Better Assumptions printable to start healing your perspective

• Get Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

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Is technology bringing you closer together, or leading to disconnection?

Tech is hitting marriages hard today. Yet research shows that marriage can provide a huge boost to personal happiness. Today’s guest, Arlene Pellicane, has written several books on how technology is impacting relationships, and today she shares tech habits that will help you and your marriage to thrive.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• The 1 habit that guarantees marriage success 99% of the Time
• Easy ways to declutter your digital life for deeper connection
• How modern technology is changing the way we love.
• Are married people happier? Research tells the truth…
• Break the tech spell: Tips for parenting in a digital age

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “If we seek God and His guidance, He’s always going to have an answer.” Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Is technology bringing you closer together? Or causing you to grow farther apart.” - Arlene Pellicane
• “We're missing all these little times to connect. That’s why you feel disconnected.” - Arlene Pellicane
• “You have to prepare to be unpopular, because as a parent, it’s your job to protect your child.” - Arlene Pellicane

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Grab Arlene’s new book, Making Marriage Easier, as well as her helpful books on healthy tech habits

• Find all of the National Marriage Week resources, including tomorrow's live panel with Dr. Kim, on the WEB, FACEBOOK, X (TWITTER) or INSTAGRAM

• Spice things up in the bedroom with our limited-time ‘Break the Bedroom Rut’ Sexy Bundle!

• Learn more about what boundaries can do for your marriage in Dr. Kim’s free Building Healthy Boundaries Webinar. Learn more here!
• Don’t let screens come between you: Use our free 17 Questions Every Couple Should Ask About Tech printable to get on the same page!

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Your marriage doesn’t have to grow old just because you do. The second half of marriage does not have to grow stale - make plans to make these your best years yet! Listen today to learn how.

Whether you’re looking ahead to the second half of marriage, or you’re already there, it is a great time to improve and grow. In today’s episode, Dr. Kim shares tips to avoiding complacency and embracing the best version of your marriage in the second half.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• How to jumpstart marriage growth if you’ve gotten complacent
• Practical steps to do the second half of marriage well - no matter where you are today
• Tips to bring back the fun and passion later in marriage
• Simple conversation starters to help you get going
• How to find a mentor couple to help your marriage

Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for quick weekly marriage tips!

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway: The second half of marriage does not have to grow stale - evaluate where you’d like to see your marriage go from here, then take the steps to get there.

Questions to Discuss:

1. What do you envision for your marriage in the next 5 years? 10 years? 20?
2. What is one thing you can start doing today to move you toward that vision?
3. What is one thing you need to stop doing today to move in that direction?

QUOTES

• If your marriage has been teetering, it can fall at this stage. - Lindsay Few
• Nothing is worse than feeling lonely when your spouse is with you. - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• We’d seen couples who were older than us disconnect. We didn’t want that to happen. - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• It’s never too late. But the earlier you start, the easier the transition will be. - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• If you’re one step ahead, you can help somebody. - Lindsay Few

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Spice things up in the bedroom with our limited-time ‘Break the Bedroom Rut’ Sexy BUNDLE!
• Have better conversations with your spouse using Creative Questions to Ask Your Spouse – check out the completely unique First, Second and Third editions of this popular resource!
• Deepen emotional intimacy with the FREE Printable Heart to Heart Card Game ❤️
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• OR sign up for Dr. Kim’s One Thing email to get DAILY steps to build your marriage
• Grab your copy of Love, Intimacy and Sex in the Second Half of Marriage, by Dr. Kim and Nancy Kimberling

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Your marriage should be a blessing to you and your spouse, but it does not need to stop there - a healthy marriage can also bless the world around you! Where is your marriage today? Are you and your spouse a healthy team? Are you healthy enough to pour into those around you?

Today we are delighted to welcome Dedric and Krystal Polite to the podcast today to share their unique perspective on finding a vision for their marriage that is making a mark on the world.

Listen for encouragement on enacting a Godly marriage vision this year!

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for quick weekly marriage tips!

Episode highlights include:

• Breaking the cycle of generational poverty
• Developing a life aligned with your values
• Tips to date intentionally so that you find a spouse you can partner with
• How to make your marriage a blessing to the world around you
• Making your spouse your teammate - not your opponent

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway: Make your marriage strong and healthy so it can become a vehicle for blessing your spouse, family and your community.

Questions to Discuss:

1. What ways could you intentionally bless others as a couple?
2. Think about the legacy you want to create as a couple. How would you define your marriage vision?

QUOTES

• “Never tie your self worth into your net worth.” - Krystal Polite
• “We pray together, we stay together, we work together.” - Krystal Polite
• “We lean on each other’s strengths.” - Dedric Polite
• Faith keeps us steady when the road gets rough.” - Krystal Polite
• “Our purpose isn’t just to make it - we’re here to make a difference.” - Krystal Polite
• “It starts and ends with effective communication.” - Dedric Polite

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Learn more from the Polites on their website PoliteWealthPortal.com
• Find BePolite Properties on Facebook or YouTube
• Build healthy habits in the New Year with the Healthy Marriage Rhythms Bundle: 5 resources for just ONE donation! Get all the details HERE!
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• Nominate a couple for Awesome Marriage of the Year HERE!

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Spiritual intimacy is something couples want, but don’t really know how to get there. We can tend to believe a common myth that it should come naturally without any effort, plus it can seem awkward to pray together or pursue spiritual growth. So how can spiritual intimacy be a realistic part of marriage?

Today we’re talking about tangible ways to grow in spiritual intimacy with your spouse - and what NOT to do.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for quick weekly marriage tips!

Episode highlights include:

• Why spirituality matters in marriage
• Common mistakes couples make with spiritual intimacy
• Can the wife initiate the conversation about spiritual intimacy, or does the husband need to do that as a spiritual leader?
• Practical steps to growing together spiritually
• Tips to grow your marriage to become a light and example

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway: The spiritual domain is integral to our health and wellbeing. Sharing it with your spouse is an essential part of intimacy in marriage.

Questions to Discuss:

1. What practices / spiritual disciplines have been most impactful for your personal spiritual growth?
2. What is one spiritual practice you would like to share with your spouse?

QUOTES

• “If you’re not able to share about spirituality with your spouse, it diminishes your ability to be intimate and know one another.” - Lindsay Few
• “We wish we could have an awesome marriage without trying. But it does take effort.” - Lindsay Few
• “When you have an expectation, you’ve got to share it with your spouse. Then they can let you know whether it’s realistic or not.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Most guys feel inadequate to be a spiritual leader. But God will equip you: It’s not rocket science, it’s just being intentional.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Most wives just want to see an intentional effort. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Any time in the Word is better than none.” - Lindsay Few

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Build healthy habits in the New Year with the Healthy Marriage Rhythms bundle: 5 resources for just ONE donation! Get all the details HERE!
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
• FLASH SALE! Browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com, and use code “FLASH2025” for $100 off ANY of our courses! Limited time only.

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It's a new year, but it's still the same you and your spouse ... so how can you make your marriage the best it can be in the new year? With intentionality, you can break out of the habits that are not serving your marriage well, and build new ones that work better.

Listen today for the tips and tools to help! We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for quick weekly marriage tips!

Episode highlights include:

• Signs that your marriage needs a “reset”
• What NOT to do during a reset
• Where to start if you want a “reset” but you’re not sure what to do
• Tips to make sure you don’t fall back into the same old patterns?

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway: Now is a great time to check in, take stock, and prioritize the healthy habits to make your marriage strong. Listen, then start taking steps today!

Questions to Discuss:

1. What do you want your marriage to look like in the new year?
2. What do you envision that’s different from how things are now?
3. Brainstorm 3-5 steps you want to build into your marriage this year.
4. Where will you start?

QUOTES

• “I think we need this every year.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Don’t just see the red flags and ignore them.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• If we’re intentional in the New Year, we can really close the gap between what we have and what we want our marriage to look like.” - Lindsay Few
• “You don’t have to agree on everything, but you have to be willing to compromise.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “God is for our marriage. He is for us. When we invite Him into the process it really changes things.“ - Lindsay Few
• “Sometimes we have to sacrifice good things for what’s most important.” - Lindsay Few

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• • Build healthy habits in the New Year with the Healthy Marriage Rhythms Bundle: 5 resources for just ONE donation! Get all the details HERE!
  • FLASH SALE! Browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com, and use code “FLASH2025” for $100 off ANY of our courses! Limited time only.
  • If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
  • Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

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Obedience to the ways of Jesus can sound closed-minded or restrictive, but in today’s episode we’re breaking down that myth for good.

We’re delighted to have pastor Rich Villodas join us today to talk about what it looks like to live on the Narrow Path Jesus taught about, and why it creates the most expansive life you could have. Learn what cultural Christianity gets wrong about the way of Jesus and how to walk the narrow way for a more joy filled life and marriage.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Signs you’re not living out the Narrow Path Jesus taught about
• Learn the damaging beliefs of cultural Christianity that don’t align with Jesus’ teaching
• Ways that shallow faith shows up in marriage - and what to do about it
• Internal shifts to help you value what matters to your spouse

Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for quick weekly marriage tips!

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway: Dying to self to live in Christ is the path to a full and expansive life. What would it look like to live this out in your marriage today?

Questions to Discuss:

1. How are you doing with each of the cultural values of successism, moralism, and hyperindividualism in your marriage?
2. What growth step would help you follow the narrow way of Jesus more closely with each of those?

QUOTES

• “It seems restrictive on the outside, but ultimately following Jesus leads to greater spaciousness in our lives.” - Rich Villodas
• “Is it possible for Christians to be on the ‘broad path’? Absolutely. Which is why the Sermon on the Mount is a wake up call to the kind of discipleship that Jesus is calling us to live into.” - Rich Villodas
• “Jesus is saying, ‘the kind of life you were designed for is found in my teachings.’” - Rich Villodas
• “We might be on the broad path if we are organizing our lives according to worldly notions of what success is.” - Rich Villodas
• “The paradox of the Christian life is that to die in Christ is to actually come alive and truly live.” - Rich Villodas

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Rich’s new book The Narrow Path: How the Subversive Way of Jesus Satisfies Our Souls
• Find more from Rich on his website, on Instagram, and learn more about his church, NewLife.nyc
• Ready to break free from negative thought patterns? Use these 11 Prayers to get you on the right path!
• Grab the beloved House Prayer Cards and make praying over your home a regular part of your day!
• Our ministry is made possibly ONLY through our generous donors. Plus, they get each month’s new marriage resource automatically, as well as some other exclusive perks! Learn more about Marriage Changers Membership here.
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for quick weekly marriage tips!

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Conflict in marriage is inevitable: it’s how you handle it that matters most. But what about couples who really never fight? What happens to conflict that is never addressed and only stays under the surface? Does it ever really go away?

Listen today to learn better ways to handle the issues you don’t know how to deal with.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage. Episode highlights include:

• Tips to initiate a hard conversation you’ve been avoiding
• How to stay grounded when you want to shut down
• How conflict can actually lead to better intimacy and connection
• Helpful nonconfrontational ways to broach difficult topics

Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for quick weekly marriage tips!

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway: Dealing with the important issues together paves the way for true peace, and learning effective conflict solving skills is a win for your marriage.

Questions to Discuss:

1. Some skills mentioned are: Intentionality - set up a good time to talk, use “I” statements, do not blame your spouse, focus on what you would like to achieve together through the conversation. Pick the one that would help you the most.
2. What is one easy issue you can tackle together to practice better resolution skills? Focus on using your chosen skill.

QUOTES

• If a couple said they never had conflict, I would think they’re not being completely honest with each other. - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• I think the more you fear conflict, the less you’re able to resolve it. - Lindsay Few
• We want to equip couples to handle it in a healthy way. - Lindsay Few
• Conflict is not bad in itself. It’s how we handle conflict. - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• Yes, we want peace in our homes. But you can’t have it if you ignore things that need to be dealt with. - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• It’s ok if you get stuck, just don’t stay stuck. - Dr. Kim Kimberling

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Do you want a better friendship with your spouse? Build your friendship with the 5 Day Friendship Challenge.
• Have you lost the connection you once had? Rebuild friendship with your spouse using the 5 Day Rebuilding Friendship Challenge.
• Our ministry is made possibly ONLY through our generous donors. Plus, they get each month’s new marriage resource automatically, as well as some other exclusive perks! Learn more about Marriage Changers Membership here.
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for quick weekly marriage tips!

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Marriage conflict is hard, but you know what makes it even harder? Trying to WIN. Because if you win, that means your spouse loses. And that’s not great for your marriage connection. Break out of the “my way” versus “your way” myth and learn what it means to work together to have a win for your marriage.

Today we’re unpacking the process of how to win TOGETHER. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for quick weekly marriage tips!

Episode highlights include:

• Why taking divorce off the table changes the dynamics of conflict.
• What does it mean for the marriage to “win” and how can you do it?
• Key steps for healthy conflict resolution
• The importance of empathy and proactive communication to prevent arguments.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide

Main takeaway: Marriage conflict is hard. When you try to win, you make it even harder.

Questions to Discuss:

1. Are there any issues that have you stuck in a “win/lose” cycle?
2. Have you considered any creative “third” options (options that aren’t “your way” or “their way”) that could solve the issue?
3. Brainstorm possible options. During brainstorming, no idea is too out there! Just get lots of other options on the table to help you start looking for marriage wins instead of fighting over your individual preference.

QUOTES

• "If you’re trying to win, that means your spouse loses." - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• "A marriage win creates two winners." - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• "Ask: What's going to make our marriage win?" - Dr. Kim Kimberling

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Get the Love Making Survey 2.0! Now expanded with 20 new questions PLUS the 7-day Love Making Challenge, it’s our Giving Tuesday gift to you, as a thank you for your donation to the ministry of Awesome Marriage!
• Shop Honoring Intimates for lingerie, lubricants and more with NO lewd images, and use our discount code AWESOMEMARRIAGE for 20% off!
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for quick weekly marriage tips!

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Couples often enter marriage with high expectations, and are then dismayed to learn that marriage is not a fairy tale after all. What do you do when marriage doesn't make you happy? How can we break out of our selfish hopes and become the spouse God intends us to be?

Listen to learn practical ways to reconcile your marriage dreams with your married reality.

We all have hopes and dreams for marriage, and the reality of life is that they don’t always play out the way we expected. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for quick weekly marriage tips! Episode highlights include:

• How your expectations before marriage impact your relationship
• The hidden role of selfishness in marital issues and conflicts
• How to cultivating humility helps to understand your spouse better
• Recognizing the redemptive nature of marriage can lead to deeper connections.
• Steps to finding a true and deeper joy in marriage

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway: Unrealistic expectations of marriage are pretty common, but they can take away from enjoying the marriage you’re actually living. If marriage isn’t making you happy, then that’s your cue to start sowing into it.

Questions to Discuss:

1. What expectations did you bring into marriage that you later realized were unrealistic?
2. What are some things you’d love to see more of in your marriage, and how can you work together to make that happen?
3. Do you have friends who will give you hard feedback when needed? What step can you take to build a friendship like that?

QUOTES

• “A lot of people getting married have high hopes for marriage, then a few years into it they realize it’s not going to be their source of identity, hope and happiness. That realization kind of turns their world upside down.” - Chelsea Damon
• “What does God say about me? I had to do some soul searching to see what God has to say about me without trying to find that sense of security in my spouse.” - Chelsea Damon
• “Marriage does a good of showing you who you are, and all of your faults. It’s a good wake up call for who you are as a person.” - Chelsea Damon
• “One of the things couples find surprising are the expectations they don’t even know they’re bringing into marriage.” - Chelsea Damon
• “I realized so much of my sense of security was not in the right place. I decided to put that back on Christ and find my identity in Him.” - Chelsea Damon
• “You need someone who’s willing to speak into your life.” - Chelsea Damon

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Find Chelsea on her website, Instagram,
• Grab a copy of Chelsea’s book, I Thought This Would Make Me Happy
• Shop Honoring Intimates for lingerie, lubricants and more with NO lewd images, and use our discount code AWESOMEMARRIAGE for 20% off!
• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for quick weekly marriage tips!

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Today we’re answering listener questions about how to handle the pain of a spouse’s porn use.

Unfortunately, this is a pretty common issue we hear about from couples, but the good news is that you CAN heal and move forward. So today we’re answering listener questions about healing and recovery from pornography in marriage. We’ll talk about the process for forgiveness, what to do if you just cannot forgive and move on, how to rebuild trust, and practical strategies to combat intrusive thoughts.

Listen for practical ways to heal and recover your heart and your marriage. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• How to forgive and move forward when it feels impossible
• Changing your view if you can’t separate your spouse from the hurtful behavior
• The balance of feeling safe and willingness to be vulnerable
• Boundary setting to allow for healing
• Getting out of the comparison trap and starting to feel beautiful and desirable again

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway: When your marriage is recovering from porn use, repentance is the first step. Forgiveness allows you to heal, and boundaries help facilitate marriage healing. You can rebuild your marriage even better than before.

Questions to Discuss:

1. What does your spouse do that helps you trust them?
2. Are there any areas where you need to build or repair trust with your spouse?
3. What can you do together to help that process?

QUOTES

• “Until you forgive, you’re still giving a lot of power to what happened.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “One of the best prayers is asking God to help you see your spouse through His eyes.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “We want assurance that nothing will ever hurt us again, but that’s not possible.” Lindsay Few
• “Look for Jesus in your spouse. When you see that, things are probably going to be pretty good.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• This is not a hurdle to get through: this is a lifestyle change. - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• There’s nothing wrong with being accountable, not because you ‘have to,’ but because you love your spouse. - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “You’ve got to be completely open and transparent with each other. You can’t have trust without that.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Sign up for the Free 5 Steps to Healing After Porn Betrayal to learn the steps you need to take to live a marriage undefiled and experience closeness and intimacy again
• Past podcast episodes on healing your marriage after porn:
• How to Regain Trust With Your Spouse After Porn | Ep. 561
• How to Rebuild Intimacy With Your Spouse After Porn | Ep. 562

Has your marriage been damaged by the effects of porn? Not sure what’s next? Download the 8 Steps To Heal Your Marriage After Porn to learn your next steps to healing.

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Are your kids protected from p*rn? Do they know how to fight back? What if they’ve already been exposed to it?

So many parents do not know how to protect their kids from porn, or how to equip them with what to do if they are exposed to it. We are so pleased to hear from Kristen Jenson today on the podcast with the answers to your questions. Equip yourself so that you can equip kids well.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• The hidden mental health dangers of p*rn
• The scripts parents need to discuss p*rn with their kids’
• Tips for digital safety in today's technology-driven world.
• When should you start talking to your kids about p*rn?
• Which phones are safer for kids?
• Resources that will help you guide your kids or grandchildren
• The need for open conversations that can protect children's innocence.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway: Your kids & grandkids need a plan in place to protect them from the danger of porn exposure and addiction. Today’s episode will equip you to make that plan.

Questions to Discuss:

1. Have you taken the time to equip your kids with what to do if they are exposed to porn?
2. Do you have a plan to resist the temptation of porn or explicit materials?
3. If not, use the resources below to develop a plan today.

QUOTES

• “If you’re worried about what to do with your kids about p*rn, this podcast is for you.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “P*rnography is fueling a huge rise in child-on-child harmful sexual behavior.” - Kristen Jenson
• “How do you talk to kids about it in a way that doesn’t scare them, doesn’t scare the parents and gives them a real plan?” - Kristen Jenson
• “We all need scripts for certain life situations. There are no scripts passed down for this problem.” - Kristen Jenson
• “We live in a world awash with addiction. We need to teach our kids how to protect their brains from addiction.” - Kristen Jenson
• “P*rnography is the tool of choice. If kids know what to do, they’re going to be that much safer.” - Kristen Jenson
• “We have an opportunity to say, no this isn’t normal. No, this isn’t healthy.” - Kristen Jenson

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Purchase Kristen’s books: Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today's Young Kids, Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr., and the Guidebook for Counseling Kids
• Learn about our the brand new curriculum Brain Defense: Digital Safety
• Keep current with empowering articles From Defend Young Minds
• Use the instantly-downloadable guides to help you teach your child
• Follow Defend Young Minds on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, & LinkedIn

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If porn has damaged your marriage, healing is possible. And you are not alone…This is unfortunately a common issue we hear from couples about. So today on the podcast, we’re answering listener questions about healing and recovery from pornography in marriage. We’ll talk about the need for forgiveness, what to do when a spouse cannot forgive and move on, how to rebuild trust, and practical strategies to combat temptation.

Listen for practical ways to engage in healing and recovery for you and your marriage. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• What to do if a spouse can’t forgive past porn use
• How to make a plan for dealing with temptation.
• Necessary steps in the trust-rebuilding process
• Help to understand the impact on a wife’s self-image
• How shame and isolation impact recovery

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway: Porn use can really damage the trust in marriage, but recovery is possible. Learn how and do what it takes to rebuild trust and does not

Questions to Discuss:

1. What are the areas of vulnerability in your marriage?
2. How can you make a plan to protect your marriage where you need it most?
3. Is there anything you need to come clean about with your spouse? Do it today.

QUOTES

• “The things a spouse needs to do for recovery are good for them AND good for the marriage. It really works together.” Lindsay Few
• “Most men I talk to have no idea how devastating their p*rn use was for their wife.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “It’s so important to have a plan in place.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Remember that temptation itself is not sin. It’s what you do once you are tempted.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “You can use temptation as a red flag to drive you toward things that are good for you.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “God doesn’t want us stuck in shame, but the enemy sure does.” - Lindsay Few

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Podcast episode:
• We mentioned this episode with Matt Cline
• Other helpful episodes: How to Regain Trust With Your Spouse After Porn | Ep. 561

• How to Rebuild Intimacy With Your Spouse After Porn | Ep. 562

• Sign up for the Free 5 Steps to Healing After Porn Betrayal to learn the steps you need to take to live a marriage undefiled and experience closeness and intimacy again

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How is the emotional intimacy in your marriage? Do you feel safe telling your spouse anything? Do you feel loved, heard, and understood?

Marriage is meant to be a refuge…a place where you each feel safe sharing deep personal feelings and confident you will be graciously received by your spouse. The problem is that many of us don’t talk about or even understand our own emotions. And if we can’t properly process our emotions, it will be very hard to build true emotional closeness in marriage.

Tune in today to learn the Do’s and Don’t of emotional intimacy. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Surprising behaviors that may shut our spouses down emotionally
• What wives tend to get wrong about emotional intimacy
• What husbands often get wrong about emotional intimacy
• What we miss out on when emotional intimacy is missing in marriage

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway: Emotional intimacy is being able to share your thoughts, feelings, hopes, fears, and more with your spouse and be loved and accepted. It is a building block of great connection in marriage.

Questions to Discuss:

1. How safe do you feel sharing anything you need to with your spouse?
2. What could you do to better accept your spouse as they are?
3. What helps you feel emotionally close and connected?

QUOTES

• Wives may experience more of the feeling of the lack of emotional intimacy. - Lindsay Few
• I promise you, after 54 years of marriage, that your spouse cannot read your mind. - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• A lot of times we think our spouse thinks like we think. Dr. Kim Kimberling
• Our assumptions really get us in trouble. - Lindsay Few
• Instead of thinking your spouse is a terrible person, realize they’re just different. They don’t see things the same way you do. - Lindsay Few
• God didn’t give feelings and emotions to women that He didn’t give to men. He gave us the same feelings and emotions. It changes your life when you get in touch with that. - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• We’re all emotional. We’re just not all in touch with them. - Lindsay Few

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Take the 5 Days to Deeper Emotional Intimacy challenge to learn practical steps to growing emotional intimacy with your spouse.
• FREE Awesome Marriage Feelings Chart Printable
• FREE Married couples card game Heart-to-Heart is a game designed to deepen emotional intimacy and connection between you two.

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We’re so happy to have David and Meg Robbins from FamilyLife joining us on the podcast today. The Robbins have been in ministry for many years and have learned so many important truths about what it takes to create a marriage strong enough to stand strong through the years.

Today they share their wisdom and experience. You don’t want to miss this conversation, full of wisdom and practical application that will benefit you and your marriage.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• The unique strengths of Gen Z when it comes to pursuing marriage
• The 3 threats every marriage faces
• The power of the Holy Spirit to stand strong
• Daily habits to fight the drift that busyness creates in marriage
• Scheduling habits to keep your marriage connected
• How to find an encouraging community of support - and why it matters

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway: Don’t neglect the health of your marriage: Keep short accounts when things need to be addressed between you, and cultivate supportive community.

Questions to Discuss:

1. Are you aware of the spiritual battle for your marriage?
2. Are there any ways you’re viewing your spouse as your enemy, and neglecting to protect your mind and heart against the real enemy?
3. Where would your life and marriage benefit from community? What step can you take today to nurture your friendships, mentorship and fellowship?

QUOTES

• Younger generations are doing a lot of deep story work. - Meg Robbins
• We all have ingrained sin patterns that we bring into marriage. - David Robbins
• Vulnerability does involve risk. It’s not status quo. Yet vulnerability is the pathway to deeper intimacy. - David Robbins
• You have to take risky steps to take down the walls around your heart. - Meg Robbins
• With little things, we can be hard on ourselves. But when you spend time with other people, you realize these are normal things. - Meg Robbins
• Most people want to talk about their marriage, it just requires someone else to start the conversation. Anyone of us can crack open the conversation. - David Robbins
• A healthy marriage is one that’s repenting often. - David Robbins
• No marriage is going to naturally drift towards awesome oneness. - Meg Robbins

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Find marriage-building resources and events at www.FamilyLife.com
• Find and follow FamilyLife on YouTube
• Utilize FamilyLife’s The Art of Marriage small group course
• Nurture your marriage with our FREE 15 Better Assumptions to Make About Your Spouse printable.

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Are you familiar with the 5 levels of communication and where they fit in your marriage? Do you use all 5 levels in your marriage? The basics of communication sound simple on paper, yet most couples are struggling to communicate effectively. And when communication falls short, your connection suffers, conflict ramps up, and marriage isn’t the partnership you hoped for.

Today Dr. Kim shares these levels and how to use them, so you can access all 5 types of communication your marriage needs and avoid common communication breakdowns with your spouse. Tune in to learn more!

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• 5 communication levels you and your spouse need
• Simple tips for avoiding common communication breakdowns
• Getting to deep communication with a less talkative spouse
• Common mistakes husbands and wives make with deeper communication
• How to respect your spouse’s personal communication style

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway: When you talk, be mindful of communicating in ways that your spouse will be able to really hear you. When your spouse talks, listen well, and don’t neglect any of the 5 communication levels.

Questions to Discuss:

1. Which levels of communication come more naturally in your marriage?
2. Which levels are harder to use?
3. What is one thing you can do today to make sure you communicate in a way your spouse will be able to receive well?

QUOTES

• “Communication is so essential. I don’t know if there's ever a couple that comes in for counseling and it’s not an issue.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “It sounds simple enough, but at the same time most couples are struggling with communication.” - Lindsay Few
• “It’s important that you pay attention to each other. That you value it and listen to each other.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “There are so many distractions in life. It’s important to tune in.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Instead of blaming our spouse because they’re not listening well, ask how well am I communicating with them?” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “We have a responsibility to grow in self awareness, and marriage is a beautiful way to do that.“ Lindsay Few

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Turn to God and ask him to renew your mind with our NEW resource, 11 Prayers To Stop Thinking Negatively About Your Spouse
• 15 Better Assumptions To Make About Your Spouse is a free printable to help you set your mind on what is true, right and good. Learn more here!
• Follow Awesome Marriage on Instagram for more marriage tips!

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Are you truly resolving your marriage issues? Most couples experience recurring arguments that never truly resolve. This cycle leaves you with two problems: 1, You never solved the issue, and 2, now one or both are hurt and angry. Plus you’ve got some baggage around the issue, too. Today we’re going to help you learn how to resolve the actual issues.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• What NOT to do in a recurring argument
• Communication tips to help you prevent conflict
• Conversation hacks to prevent defensiveness
• The process to understand the REAL underlying issues

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway: If you have recurring arguments (most couples do!) there’s probably a deeper issue you’re not aware of. Get under the surface to resolve the real issue.

Questions to Discuss:

1. On a scale from 1-10, how well do you and your spouse resolve your marriage conflict?
2. Better communication helps you address the real issues you need to resolve. What is one step you can take to grow your communication today?

QUOTES

• "Most couples have recurring arguments that never truly resolve" - Lindsay Few
• "Being vulnerable builds intimacy and trust." - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• "Using 'I' statements takes ownership and responsibility." - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• "Learning to resolve conflict in a healthy way is a gift to your marriage." - Dr. Kim Kimberling

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Our Conflict Resolution Cheat Sheet is a printable resource to help you address conflict the healthy way. Grab the free cheat sheet HERE!
• Marriage Multiplier is a quick and highly practical weekly email to help you invest in your marriage. CLICK HERE to learn more!
• Has infidelity damaged your marriage? Sign up for Dr. Kim’s webinar Rebuilding Trust and Establishing Healthy Boundaries After an Affair and learn what steps to take next.
• 15 Better Assumptions To Make About Your Spouse is a free printable to help you set your mind on what is true, right and good. Learn more here!
• Follow Awesome Marriage on Instagram for more marriage tips!

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How well do you choose your battles? If you struggle with recurring conflict in marriage, you might need to work on choosing your battles. On the other hand, if you’re feeling resentment but you’re not sure how to address it… you might need to work on choosing your battles. Today Dr. Kim is going to help you learn how to choose your battles well.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Knowing when to stand your ground vs. when to let go
• The underlying message in your recurring marriage issues
• How to balance love and grace with speaking the truth
• The path to build trust for open and honest feedback

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway: Some things are not worth arguing over! You can reduce the tension in your marriage by learning to choose your battles better.

Questions to Discuss:

1. What situations tend to end in recurring arguments in your marriage?
2. Are any of those battles you can let go of, instead of fighting?
3. Is there any resentment you need to let go of today?

QUOTES

• Instead of being critical, learn to work together. - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• Stay faithful to agreements you’ve made. The things you agreed on affect one another. - Lindsay Few
• It doesn’t have to be a battle. - Lindsay Few
• Getting defensive just never works. - Dr. Kim Kimberling

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Marriage Multiplier is a quick and highly practical weekly email to help you invest in your marriage. CLICK HERE to learn more!
• Our Conflict Resolution Cheat Sheet is a printable resource to help you address conflict the healthy way. Grab the free cheat sheet HERE!
• Has infidelity damaged your marriage? Sign up for Dr. Kim’s webinar Rebuilding Trust and Establishing Healthy Boundaries After an Affair and learn what steps to take next.

• 15 Better Assumptions To Make About Your Spouse is a free printable to help you set your mind on what is true, right and good. Learn more here!

• What situations tend to end in recurring arguments in your marriage?

• Are any of those battles you can let go of, instead of fighting?
• Is there any resentment you need to let go of today?

QUOTES

• Instead of being critical, learn to work together. - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• Stay faithful to agreements you’ve made. The things you agreed on affect one another. - Lindsay Few
• It doesn’t have to be a battle. - Lindsay Few
• Getting defensive just never works. - Dr. Kim Kimberling

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Marriage Multiplier is a quick and highly practical weekly email to help you invest in your marriage. CLICK HERE to learn more!
• Our Conflict Resolution Cheat Sheet is a printable resource to help you address conflict the healthy way. Grab the free cheat sheet HERE!
• Has infidelity damaged your marriage? Sign up for Dr. Kim’s webinar Rebuilding Trust and Establishing Healthy Boundaries After an Affair and learn what steps to take next.
• 15 Better Assumptions To Make About Your Spouse is a free printable to help you set your mind on what is true, right and good. Learn more here!

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After a few “golden years” of ministry for Ken Guidroz and his family, things imploded. When Ken had to face the unimaginable as a dad, faith was hard to find. Hope seemed distant as he, his wife, and their marriage both struggled to recover. Today Ken shares the story of how they clung to each other and found hope to move forward together, through their darkest season.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• How to hold onto faith when you feel hopeless
• Maintaining marriage unity while holding different parenting values
• How to recover from marriage disagreements you can’t forget
• Ken’s story of breaking through to the other side after a dark season

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway: When your marriage is rocked by the unexpected, allow your spouse to process the way they need to. Focus on supporting one another, and finding common bonds.

Questions to Discuss:

1. What has been your hardest marriage season? What helped you stay close in that time?
2. What is one way you can strengthen your marriage today to protect it for the future?

QUOTES

• In some ways, it was our toughest time ever. In other ways, it was “you and me, honey, against the world.” - Ken Guidroz
• To say we felt like we had a scarlet letter on our chest is an understatement. - Ken Guidroz
• We were partners in the pit. It was tough. But it also cemented us for life. - Ken Guidroz

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Find more of Ken’s writing, including his book, Letters to My Son in Jail, on his website
• 15 Better Assumptions To Make About Your Spouse is a free printable to help you set your mind on what is true, right and good. Learn more here!

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Your mindset greatly impacts your day to day life. If you’re stuck in unhealthy or unhelpful thought patterns, both you and your marriage will suffer. But there are simple ways to unpack your thought patterns and replace the unhelpful with a biblical perspective. In today’s episode we’re looking at practical ways to adopt a gracious, life-giving perspective in marriage.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Common perspective mistakes in marriage and what causes them
• Practical tips to resolve perspective issues and create a Biblical perspective
• What do secret sin and perspective have in common?
• Ways to communicate more effectively and seek to understand your spouse's perspective
• Tips to cultivate oneness and a spiritual foundation of unity

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway: Is your perspective of your spouse realistic? For most issues, a generous perspective and good communication can get you through it together.

Questions to Discuss:

1. Do you have any unrealistic expectations of your spouse today? If you’re not sure, check them out together.
2. Are you and your spouse at odds over an issue? Take the time to learn what matters most to your spouse about their position on it.
3. Do you have thought habits that are leading to bitterness or resentment in your marriage?

QUOTES

• "It's hard to step into your spouse's shoes or take the time to do that, to have empathy for them." - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• "Resentment can be a huge thing and it's so dangerous because if we don't stop it, it continues to grow." - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Perspective is your lens on the world. If your lens is covered with smudges and you’re not seeing clearly, that’s not the world’s fault. You’ve got to clean your lens.” - Lindsay Few

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• If you are ready to have a better perspective – and a better marriage, then the biblically-based 4 Week Reframing Challenge is for you!
• Turn to God and ask him to renew your mind with our NEW resource, 11 Prayers To Stop Thinking Negatively About Your Spouse
• 15 Better Assumptions To Make About Your Spouse is a free printable to help you set your mind on what is true, right and good. Learn more here!
• Join the Marriage Changer Movement! Because a world full of awesome marriages can change the world
• Marriage Multiplier is a quick and highly practical weekly email to help you invest in your marriage. CLICK HERE to learn more!

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An affair doesn’t have to mean the end of a marriage. At Awesome Marriage, we have seen so many marriages restored! Yet the recovery process will take time and working together to see the Lord heal the union. If you’ve experienced this pain, you need a guide to help you along the way.

Rick Reynolds joins Dr. Kim today to share his story of marriage recovery, and how he’s used his own painful experience to help others through the process of rebuilding after infidelity.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• How to avoid common behaviors that can set you up for an affair
• How to rebuild a marriage after affair - better than before
• Why Christians need to be aware of their own vulnerability
• How to overcome the obstacles to recovering after infidelity
• Common mistakes in the affair recovery process

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway: One of the best ways to protect your marriage from an affair is to realize you could be vulnerable to infidelity, and put boundaries in place. If your marriage has experienced infidelity, it can be restored much stronger than before.

Questions to Discuss:

1. What boundaries do you have in your life to prevent even baby steps toward an affair?
2. Are you a safe place for your spouse to be completely honest and open? What would help make your marriage a safer place for honesty?

QUOTES

• “When we fall, what’s important is what we do afterwards.” - Rick Reynolds
• “A lot of Christians don’t realize they’re vulnerable, so they don’t put constraints in place. Then they find themselves in a mess.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “What heals is empathy and emotional responsiveness.” - Rick Reynolds
• “The wayward spouse needs to understand that disclosure is the way that trust is reestablished.” - Rick Reynolds

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Learn more or sign up for the Hope Rising Conference at AffairRecovery.com
• If you feel defeated about your marriage, or are considering divorce, our 90 Days to Save Your Marriage plan is for you. Learn more here.

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When costs keep rising, and earnings often don’t match, money stress is bound to invade your marriage. Most couples face additional tension around how to handle finances well – as well as how to handle them together.

In today’s podcast, Dr. Kim talks with Dan and Kay Ockey about how to take control of your finances, even in times of financial uncertainty. Dan and Kay offer concrete and actionable advice on how to take the steps to get out of debt, make a realistic plan, and work together. Tune in for help to get your finances in order.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• The action plan for how to start tracking finances
• Productive ways to handle the realities of inflation and financial uncertainty
• 2 keys for financial success in a marriage
• Use this reframing shift and fight over finances less

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• "The magic bullet doesn't exist, but being real about your numbers and not spending more than you make is key." - Dan Ockey
• “We’re finding that among a lot of people there’s an expectation you should have the life you want.” - Dan Ockey
• “We may not have the money to do all the things we want right now, and that’s ok. You’re not a failure - you can work toward that.” - Dan Ockey
• “Our money conversations were so painful. Then I realized that our unity was more important than my beliefs about money.” - Dan Ockey

Couples Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway: Unity in your marriage finances requires a team mindset, learning about each other, and learning the skills to handle money well.

Questions to Discuss:

1. What financial beliefs are keeping you from unity in your marriage?
2. Are you working toward a common goal together today? If not, work together to set one.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Learn how to avoid the 4 common budgeting mistakes couples make when in the FREE Centsei Class. Learn more here.
• The Gap and the Gain
• Get the budget conversation started with 27 Money Questions Every Couple Needs to Ask

Marriage Multiplier is a quick and highly practical weekly email to help you invest in your marriage. CLICK HERE to learn more!

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Show of hands: Are you an Amazon box hider? … or do you have your spouse break down the boxes for you?

All joking aside, online shopping can be an issue that hinders couples’ closeness. Money management in general can be a hot topic, but the wide range of ways we can spend money online with just the click of a button can create some additional obstacles, and we hear about it from couples all the time. Today we’re equipping you to resolve this issue.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Red flags that you need to address online spending with your spouse.
• The role of trust in marriage money habits
• How to know when online shopping has become a problem
• The negative cycle of emotional triggers

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “When you look into what’s most important with money, you make a lot more progress more quickly.” - Lindsay Few
• "When you quit being a team, that's when it becomes a problem." - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• "If shopping is getting in the way of closeness with your spouse, then something needs to change." - Dr. Kim Kimberling

Couple's Conversation Guide:

Main takeaway: Money secrets do not serve your marriage well, so do what it takes to build trust with your spouse around finances.

Questions to Discuss:

1. Are there any money habits your spouse does not know about you?
2. What areas bring out money tension for your marriage?
3. What is one step that would help you work through that and build unity today?

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Learn how to avoid the 4 common budgeting mistakes couples make when in the FREE Centsei Class. Learn more here.
• Get the budget conversation started with 27 Money Questions Every Couple Needs to Ask
• Marriage Multiplier is a quick and highly practical weekly email to help you invest in your marriage. CLICK HERE to learn more!

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We don’t often talk about our failures, but maybe that needs to change. It’s easy to focus on others’ highlight reel, while we’re highly aware of our own personal shortcomings. But the shame of feeling like we don’t measure up keeps us from real relationships.

Today we’re going there with special guest, Becky Kiser, as we talk about the power of the gospel and how God uses us in spite of our shortcomings. Don’t miss this powerful conversation.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Fight the cascade effect of feeling like a failure
• The two most debated sections of Becky’s new book - and why!
• The 1st step to start loving your spouse well
• How to move out of shame and into freedom

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “Even women who are successful; women who have accomplished a bunch, deal with failure.” - Becky Kiser
• “The Gospel message is not, ‘Get your life together then God can do something with your life.’” - Becky Kiser
• “I’ve found the most freedom from acknowledging I can’t.” - Becky Kiser
• "Not all failures are actual failures. They’re just a part of life.” - Becky Kiser
• "We spend so much time ‘dying to ourselves’ that we think there’s no value to ourselves.” - Becky Kiser

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Find Becky at https://www.beckykiser.com/ and on Instagram @beckykiser
• Grab the new book, “But God Can” today!
• Get the budget conversation started with 27 Money Questions Every Couple Needs to Ask
• Marriage Multiplier is a quick and highly practical weekly email to help you invest in your marriage. CLICK HERE to learn more!

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After five years of marriage, Kristin and Todd Evans’ world was rocked when they learned they were about to become parents to a child with a disability. The stress, grief and the demands of learning to be caregivers to a child with disabilities transformed their once-joyful marriage and nearly broke it apart.

When spouses are also caregivers, the marriage will face challenges that others may not know anything about. Today Todd and Kristin share their powerful story of learning to navigate this reality and how they have kept their marriage strong through it all.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• The additional challenges parents face as caregivers
• Learning to cope with the ‘living loss’ of disability
• How to set and communicate priorities in an unending to do list
• Ways to deepening emotional connection & intimacy while always “on call”
• Handling grief and chronic sorrow together

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “For all parents, there’s a sacrificial piece to it. For special needs parents, it goes to a new level of what you have to sacrifice.” - Todd Evans
• “1 in 3 caregivers experience depression and anxiety.” - Kristin Evans
• “I couldn’t understand why I couldn't’ get over my grief, but Todd had moved on.” - Kristin Evans
• “There’s not a right or wrong way to grieve, it’s just different.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Order the Evans’ book, How to Build a Thriving Marriage as You Care for Children with Disabilities
• Follow @DisabilityParenting on Instagram for more great tips!
• Get the budget conversation started with 27 Money Questions Every Couple Needs to Ask
• Marriage Multiplier is a quick and highly practical weekly email to help you invest in your marriage. CLICK HERE to learn more!

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Reduce money stress in your marriage by making sure your money knows where to go!

Don’t avoid talking about money with your spouse: Establishing a budget you can both stick to will certainly pay off long term. Today Dr. Kim shares several simple tricks that help him and Nancy to stress less and be intentional with their finances.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• The basic starting point for building a budget
• The budget category Dr. Kim & Nancy would NEVER cut out
• The power of breaking a scarcity mindset and becoming generous
• Strategies to better money management
• How to get started if you’ve never budgeted

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “We felt like it was always important to have a date.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Make sure to build in your budget that you can go out somewhere each week and not have to worry about it.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “God is so generous, and that’s really what we want to emulate.” - Lindsay Few
• “My lack of generosity was not the person I wanted to be.” - Lindsay Few
• Continue to ask, “What are our financial goals? How do we budget to make them work?” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “If you need help, get it. If you’re going to fight about money for 50 years, that doesn’t sound fun at all. ”- Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “When you tithe 10%, the 90% you have left goes a lot further than you thought the 100% would.” - Lindsay Few
• “I don’t know anyone personally who would say they regret tithing.” - Lindsay Few

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Get the budget conversation started with 27 Money Questions Every Couple Needs to Ask
• Learn how to avoid the 4 common budgeting mistakes couples make when in the FREE Centsei Class. Learn more here.
• Marriage Multiplier is a quick and highly practical weekly email to help you invest in your marriage. CLICK HERE to learn more!

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Do your habits online support your marriage? Or damage it?

Fewer couples are getting married than ever. Tech is hitting marriages hard today. Yet research shows that marriage can provide a huge boost to personal happiness. Today’s guest Arlene Pellicane has written several books on how technology is impacting relationships, and today she shares tech habits that will help you and your marriage to thrive.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• The 1 habit that leads to a 99% marriage success rate
• Simple to streamline your tech habits for more connection
• Why today’s tech affects relationships differently than before
• Research shows how marriage can impact happiness
• Parenting tips to break unhealthy tech habits and get your child back

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “If we seek God and His guidance, He’s always going to have an answer.” Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Is technology bringing you closer together? Or causing you to grow farther apart.” - Arlene Pellicane
• “We're missing all these little times to connect. That’s why you feel disconnected.” - Arlene Pellicane
• “You have to prepare to be unpopular, because as a parent, it’s your job to protect your child.” - Arlene Pellicane

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• If you need help with family tech habits, DO NOT miss Arlene’s books on the topic.

• National Marriage Week is each February 7-14th – and their great marriage building resources are available all year long! Learn more and support the mission on the WEB, FACEBOOK, X (TWITTER) or INSTAGRAM !

• Learn more about what boundaries can do for your marriage in Dr. Kim’s free Building Healthy Boundaries Webinar. Learn more here!

• What could 1 intentional weekend do for you and your spouse? Find out when you take on our Marriage Weekend Challenge! Click to learn more!

• Don’t let screens come between you: Use our free 17 Questions Every Couple Should Ask About Tech printable to get on the same page!
• Marriage Multiplier is a quick and highly practical weekly email to help you invest in your marriage. CLICK HERE to learn more!

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We’ve all wondered at some point … is everyone else living a better life? It looks like they might be, and social media only seems to confirm it!

That’s why we’re delighted to bring you Dr. Kim’s conversation with today’s guest, Sarah Bragg, of the Surviving Sarah podcast. In today’s episode, we’ll hear Sarah’s take on feeling “stuck” in life, how to become happier, and steps to overcome the idea that someone else’s life is better than yours.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Why we face the questions that keep us up at night
• Practical strategies for when you feel stuck in life
• How to deal with experiencing grief in midlife
• Guardrails to protect yourself from the effects of comparison
• Staving off the effects of unhappiness in your marriage

Our Couples Conversation Guide helps you apply each episode’s content. Click here to get each week’s guide!

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “We can look back and see where we’ve been. But when we look forward we don’t know what it’s going to look like.” - Sarah Bragg
• “When we keep it inside, it grows. It feels bigger than it really is.” - Sarah Bragg
• “We all grieve in different ways, over different things.” Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “It’s okay to just keep showing up and trying.” - Sarah Bragg
• “In this age of social media, it’s nothing but compare and compete.” - Sarah Bragg
• “Connection is the root of happiness.” - Sarah Bragg

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Order Sarah’s book, Is Everyone Happier Than Me?
• Listen to the Surviving Sarah podcast and find more from Sarah on her website &
• @SarahWBragg on Instagram!
• Don’t let screens come between you: Use our free 17 Questions Every Couple Should Ask About Tech printable to get on the same page!
• Our Couples Conversation Guide helps you apply each episode’s content. Click here to get each week’s guide!

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Did you know that marriage can be good for you? Marriage is not always viewed as the gift from God that it actually is, but He has designed this relationship to provide some amazing benefits to both spouses.

Today Dr. Kim is sharing several of the ways a healthy marriage supports health and wellness for you, your spouse and your family. Tune in to learn more!

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• The benefits of a good marriage for mental and physical health
• Health effects on kids and families
• The damaging effects of loneliness - even in marriage
• Steps you can take to combat loneliness
• Hidden benefits of the process of working on things you need to work on

Our Couples Conversation Guide helps you apply each episode’s content. To get each week’s guide click here to subscribe!

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “There’s all kinds of incentives to work on your marriage, and this is one of them: If you have a healthy marriage, you have a healthier, longer life.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “We hear about so much depression; so much anxiety. Everybody’s under stress. Marriage can help your mental health.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “I was out of my comfort zone, and any time you do that is uncomfortable, but on the other side there might be something really helpful.” - Lindsay Few

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Don’t let screens come between you: Use our free 17 Questions Every Couple Should Ask About Tech printable to get on the same page!
• Life’s unpredictable. Build a solid foundation for your marriage with 21 Prayers to Build an Awesome Marriage
• Are you ready to join the mission? Our Marriage Changers exist because a world full of awesome marriages can change the world! Learn more HERE
• Our Couples Conversation Guide helps you apply each episode’s content. To get each week’s guide click here to subscribe!
• We are here to help! Email Info@awesomemarriage.com any time.
• Our Healthy Self / Healthy Marriage Podcast Series goes deeper:
• Why Does Physical Health Matter In Marriage? | Ep. 520
• The Connection Between Emotional & Spiritual Health | Ep. 521
• Mental Health & Your Marriage | Ep. 522
• Answering Listener Questions | Ep. 523

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Does marriage still matter in this day and age? We say a resounding yes!

Marriage was designed by God, and there are several purposes the Bible gives for why marriage matters. Today we’re digging into what Scripture says about the value of marriage. Tune in to learn God’s purposes for the marriage relationship, and why they matter in your marriage!

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Dr. Kim’s list of biblical purposes for marriage
• Several ideas for what it means to “be fruitful” in marriage
• The power of a marriage model - and tips on how to find one
• The ripple effect of an intentional marriage
• Ways your marriage can be a light in our dark world

Our Couples Conversation Guide helps you apply each episode’s content. To get each new guide, click here to subscribe!

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “No marriage is perfect. But if you’re a couple steps ahead, you’ve navigated some things that others haven’t.” - Lindsay Few
• “My dream for the marriage changers is that they’re learning, growing and passing that on.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Prayer has had such an impact on our marriage. When God answers prayer like He does, we want to tell everybody what He’s done!” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• The things God calls us to do bring glory to God. They bring us joy, life and peace, and they also bring light and encouragement to others.” - Lindsay Few
• “Yes, it’s hard at times. Yes, there are things you have to work through. But the big picture result is worth it.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Don’t let screens come between you: Use our free 17 Questions Every Couple Should Ask About Tech printable to get on the same page!
• Life’s unpredictable. Build a solid foundation for your marriage with 21 Prayers to Build an Awesome Marriage
• We are here to help! Email Info@awesomemarriage.com any time.
• Are you ready to join the mission? Our Marriage Changers exist because a world full of awesome marriages can change the world! Learn more HERE
• Our Couples Conversation Guide helps you apply each episode’s content. You’ll get each new guide when you click here to subscribe!

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Is it harder to live a faithful life today than in times past? Today’s world does provide some unique challenges that couples face, but there are also unique opportunities. Today’s conversation with Gabrielle McCullough sheds light on some of the ways today’s world can be deeply impacted by Jesus and the effects of our faith can have on marriage.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Unique challenges and unique opportunities for faith in Gen Z
• 3 questions for biblical accountability
• A challenge to help you find your place in the local church
• The impact of following Jesus on every aspect of life
• Why the local church is still relevant and needed today

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “Following Jesus impacts every area of your life.” - Gabrielle McCullough
• “We follow Jesus because he has our hearts. There’s an obedience that is compelled that isn’t out of drudgery but out of true delight.” - Gabrielle McCullough
• “They want something that’s authentic. That excites me about my generation.” - Gabrielle McCullough
• There’s a beauty in asking, ‘how can I serve the church?’ instead of asking how others can serve me.” - Gabrielle McCullough
• “As Christians, our responsibility is to love people the way Christ loves them; with love and with truth.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “If marriages can be healthy and strong, what a testament to the world of who Jesus is and the way he fights for his Bride.” - Gabrielle McCullough

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Find Gabrielle on Instagram, TikTok, and on her website
• The Christmas in July Sale is on at Awesome Marriage University and that means you get 30% ANY and ALL of our online marriage courses! BROWSE our course offerings to find which one your marriage needs and use the code JULY at checkout!
• Our 5 Days to Deeper Emotional Intimacy digital resource provides practical steps to understand and share your emotions, and to work together to grow your emotional intimacy…and it’s our gift to you for your donation of any amount.

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Has you or your spouse’s insecurity affected your marriage? We’re all insecure about something, and the way we see ourselves will end up spilling over into the way we relate to others. Nowhere is this more likely to happen than in marriage.

In this episode Dr. Kim and Christina share ways to address your insecurity and your spouse’s insecurity, including a surprising way Dr. Kim has learned to turn his weaknesses to strengths. Tune in for wisdom and practical tips.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• How insecurity affects a marriage
• Advice if your spouse’s insecurity is weighing you down
• Advice if your OWN insecurity weighs you down
• Practical steps to overcome insecurity
• How to fight back against your insecurities

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “How you view yourself absolutely affects how you’re going to interact with others.” - Christina Dodson
• “I think the role of the spouse is to build each other up. Your marriage should be your safest place, next to your relationship with God.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Perfection is not what God expects from you, nor should anyone else be expecting it from you.” - Christina Dodson
• “You begin to believe the things God says about you and who you are in Christ, and that changes your countenance. You will look like a different person.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “There’s less holding you back if you’re not weighed down by your insecurities. There’s more joy, more abundance, freedom to enjoy life together. ” - Christina Dodson
• “One thing God does so well for us is he loves us right where we are. Our goal is to love our spouse right where they are.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “You can’t take it over. You can’t fix it for them. But you can come alongside and do what God wants you to do.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “No one is thinking about you as much as you’re thinking about you. To me, that’s really freeing!” - Christina Dodson

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Our 5 Days to Deeper Emotional Intimacy digital resource provides practical steps to understand and share your emotions, and to work together to grow your emotional intimacy…and it’s our gift to you for your donation of any amount.
• The Christmas in July Sale is on at Awesome Marriage University and that means you get 30% OFF ANY and ALL of our online marriage courses! BROWSE our course offerings to find which one your marriage needs and use the code JULY at checkout!

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Want better connection with your spouse? One thing we hear a lot from couples is that they don’t feel close to each other or that their relationship feels like it’s missing some depth. That’s why today we’re re-airing this episode from Dr. Kim and Christina that talks all about emotional intimacy and gives you ideas of practical ways to deepen the emotional intimacy in your marriage.

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• What is emotional intimacy, and why does it matter?
• Warning signs you need to grow in this area
• Emotional intimacy killers to avoid
• Tips to start working on this - alone, and together

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “It is hard work knowing someone. You have to pay attention. It takes work to be intimate.” - Christina Dodson
• “Laziness and business are going to block your intimacy, so we have to fight against those things.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Give yourself opportunities to connect.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “It adds value to my marriage for me to have a relationship with my friends, just like it benefits our marriage that he has guy friends.” - Christina Dodson
• “You could have had the best childhood in the world and you still have baggage because we’re human. That’s okay, and you can deal with that.” - Christina Dodson
• “You can’t be emotionally intimate with your spouse if you aren’t aware of your own emotions.” - Christina Dodson

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Our 5 Days to Deeper Emotional Intimacy digital resource provides practical steps to understand and share your emotions, and to work together to grow your emotional intimacy…and it’s our gift to you for your donation of any amount.
• Your marriage can only be as healthy as the two of you are. The Bible says, “Let us examine our ways and test them and let us return to the Lord” (Lamentations 3:40). Our new Self Check-In Guide will help you do just that!
• Print out this Feelings Chart and use it to help you talk about your emotions.
• Our Questions To Help Your Spouse Open Up resource is a simple way to help build the closeness between you and your spouseAccountability is a biblical and helpful tool for growing in holiness.

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What is a “gospeler”?

It’s probably a lot simpler than you think! It is something that will certainly impact you and your marriage, but also has the potential to have a huge impact on others around you.

Today Willie Robertson shares how one person sharing the Gospel impacted thousands, starting with his family, and he explains just how simple it can be to begin to care enough for others to share the Gospel with them.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Gospel genealogy & the ripple effect one conversation can have
• The Biblical basis for this kind of conversation
• Where to start if you don’t know where to start
• Advice for parents to share their faith in parenting
• Different ways to approach sharing your faith

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “When you’re active in sharing your faith, it takes care of a lot of other things for you as well.” - Willie Robertston
• “The great commission was for all of us.” - Willie Robertston
• “Make disciples, baptize people, teach people; you’re not going to do any of those 3 unless you open your mouth.” - Willie Robertston
• “It starts with caring about people.” - Willie Robertston
• “You start learning the Word, you’ll start standing out in the crowd.” - Willie Robertston

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Order Willie’s new book, Gospeler today!

• Find more from Willie at DuckCommander.com and WillieRobertson.com

• Our 5 Days to Deeper Emotional Intimacy digital resource provides practical steps to understand and share your emotions, and to work together to grow your emotional intimacy…and it’s our gift to you for your donation of any amount.

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Are you ever a bit too helpful in your marriage? Do you find yourself frustrated with the way your spouse responds to you?

You may be trying to control your spouse by “helping” even if you don’t mean to!

Today Laura Doyle from the Empowered Wife Podcast joins Dr. Kim to teach us some ways to shift our marriage culture - without resorting to control tactics. Tune in to learn how!

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Empowering ways to shift the culture of your marriage, even if your spouse isn’t on board
• “Cheat phrases” to help you shift from controlling tendencies to deeper intimacy
• The unexpected lesson of sitting down with your spouse and getting nothing done!

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Find more of Laura’s content, including her free Empowered Wife Road Map on her website
• Check out Laura’s book, the Empowered Wife!
• Our 5 Days to Deeper Emotional Intimacy digital resource provides practical steps to understand and share your emotions, and to work together to grow your emotional intimacy…and it’s our gift to you for your donation of any amount.

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Most of us deal with self doubt, regret, and feelings of not measuring up. But learning to love ourselves properly means learning to see ourselves as God does, and it allows us to love others more freely and graciously.

Today, Bryan Crum will help you step away from nagging self doubts and into a solid biblical perspective. Give your marriage the gift of seeing yourself and your spouse through God’s eyes.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Unexpected lessons learned from people who are facing their mortality
• Why is it hard to accept loving and valuing ourselves properly?
• Rewriting negative messages we’ve learned
• Ideas to break away from self-doubt
• Why relationships are needed to help us learn to love ourselves

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “I’m on a mission to help people fall in love with God’s greatest creation; and that’s us.” - Bryan Crum
• “We all want to know our time on this earth means something.” - Bryan Crum
• “I’ve discovered 2 truths about living: 1. We’re priceless. 2. For some reason, we’ve forgotten that truth.” - Bryan Crum
• “We interact with people every day but we don’t always treat them like they are valuable.” - Bryan Crum
• “When we acknowledge the truth of what we’re worth, we’re acknowledging a truth heaven knows well.” - Bryan Crum
• “The first step is to stop comparing ourselves to each other.” - Bryan Crum
• “There's power in giving each other the benefit of the doubt.” - Bryan Crum
• “Giving each other grace is a small step that covers a lot of distance.” - Bryan Crum
• “Marriage is promising each other that we’re all-in. We’ve got to make the conscious choice to say, ‘I’m still here.’” - Bryan Crum

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• If your marriage is doing okay but could use a jumpstart, then this 5 Week Marriage Refresher Challenge is for you!
• Find more from Bryan HERE
• Order Bryan’s book, Neighbor, Love Yourself HERE

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Conflict is no one’s favorite, but it is an inevitable part of life. And today Donna Jones teaches us why it’s nothing to be afraid of by busting some of the most common misunderstandings that lead to conflict avoidance, and providing a biblical roadmap to handle conflict in a healthy way.

Tune in to learn more about approaching conflict in a healthy, biblical way.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• The biggest mistakes most couples make in conflict
• The trick to de-escalate in the heat of the moment.
• The inner characteristics that build better conflict habits
• Help to break conflict patterns in your marriage
• The healthy way to apologize well

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “When we handle conflict in a healthy way, the outcome is peace. Peace between us and who we have conflict with; peace in our own souls.” - Donna Jones
• “When we are in conflict, it literally affects everything about us. We function, but on the inside, we’re torn to pieces.” - Donna Jones
• “The reason so many of us think conflict is bad, is that we never learned to see how conflict can turn out good.” - Donna Jones
• “When we have conflict, we tend to think it means 1 of 3 things: There’s something wrong with you; there’s something wrong with me, or there’s something wrong with us. But conflict doesn’t mean that.” - Donna Jones
• “No relationship can survive an atmosphere of disrespect over the long haul.” - Donna Jones
• “The most important thing is not an act, it’s an attitude: Humility.” - Donna Jones
• “If you want to know how strong a person really is, look for humility.” - Donna Jones

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Order Donna’s book Healthy Conflict, Peaceful Life today!
• Find Donna on her website, on Instagram @DonnaAJones or Facebook @donnajonesspeak/
• For more help to break the conflict cycle, sign up for Dr. Kim’s “8 Guidelines for Fighting Fair Webinar”
• If your marriage is feeling a bit blah, the Marriage Refresher is the jumpstart you need to bring fresh life into your marriage!

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We have gotten a lot of questions about gaslighting and narcissism, and today Dr. Kim is answering. This topic is layered and one podcast episode cannot take the place of more in-depth interventions, but we can offer helpful and hopeful next steps. In today’s episode we’re covering how to know what constitutes abuse versus the sin nature we all struggle with. Listen for

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Marriage counseling doesn’t work with abusers – So what does?
• Can a marriage recover after long-term gaslighting?
• How to diagnose abuse using the power and control wheel
• Does the “gray rock” strategy work in marriage?
• Reasons why emotional abuse is often dismissed

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “Narcissism is all about power and control. Neither of those have a place in marriage at all.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “I don't think God expects anyone to live in an abusive situation. In many ways, it’s as much a violation of vows as adultery is to not take seriously your vow to love and cherish your spouse.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “You deserve to be safe.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “If you look at the message of the BIble, you can’t defend any type of abuse, for any person, ever.” - Lindsay Few
• “The goal would be repentance and reconciliation.” - Lindsay Few
• “The reason a lot of people minimize emotional abuse because they haven’t seen it.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “I’ve seen people who gaslight and don't really understand what they’ve been doing.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Nobody’s uplifted or brought closer to Christ through manipulative behaviors.” - Lindsay Few

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• The Power and Control Wheel is helpful to understand what constitutes abuse
• If your marriage is doing okay but could use a jumpstart, then this 5 Week Marriage Refresher Challenge is for you!

• Past episodes on the topic:

  • Gaslighting in Marriage
  • Accidental Gaslighting
  • When is Enough Enough? With Dr. David E. Clarke

  • Recent series with Kathy’s Story

    • Escaping an Emotionally Abusive Marriage: Kathy’s Story | Ep. 608
    • Escaping an Emotionally Abusive Marriage Part 2: Seeking Church Support | Kathy’s Story Ep. 609
    • Escaping an Emotionally Abusive Marriage Part 3: Help to Get Out and Get Safe | Ep. 610

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Is there a war on fathers? Our guest on today’s podcast thinks so. The impact of fathers on their kids is so valuable, yet it’s incredibly difficult to know how to engage purposefully in the process of parenting.

If you’ve had a hand in raising kids, you already know that parenting is not for the faint of heart! That’s why we are so thankful to share today’s episode and Kent Evans’ practical advice and encouragement for dads. Kent Evans is a wise and helpful mentor for dads who are searching for their purpose in parenting. Listen and learn Kent’s simple, practical tips for dads and moms alike.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• What prevents dads from being confident to engage in fatherhood?
• The reasons why your kids need an imperfect dad
• Advice for the dad who feels like it’s too late to start to engage well
• Steps to growing in your purpose as a dad
• Advice for the wife who wants her husband to engage
• An incredible tip for finding friends & community

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “Satan wants us to take us out of the fatherhood game by getting us to self-select and walk off the field.” - Kent Evans
• “God wants to be known as a dad, therefore there’s a war on fathers.” - Kent Evans

• “My experience as a dad is that God can take care of the things I mess up.” - Dr. Kim

• “Even if we could be perfect, it would not be beneficial. It would deprive them of the example of how to fall off the horse then get back on.” - Kent Evans

• There are few things more motivating to a man than the praise of his wife, but it’s multiplied by an exponent when she does it in front of the children.” - Kent Evans
• “I didn’t get it right. I didn’t do it perfectly, but God took my loaves and fishes and they landed as nourishment.”

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Grab Kent’s great tools for dads at ManhoodJourney.org
• Listen to the Father on Purpose Podcast
• With the Creative Questions Bundle you will NOT lack for great conversation topics! Get all the details here!
• Sign up here to get the Couple’s Conversation Guide for each episode!

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Marriage doesn’t have to get boring … but for too many couples, it has. If you’re ready to break out of the routine and restore the joy in your marriage, this one's for you!

Listen for ways to have more interesting and connective conversations, new ideas of things to try, and how to avoid common mistakes that keep couples from enjoying their marriage.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Better questions to ask for better conversations
• 2 common mistakes that keep couples from having fun together
• Several ideas for fun things to try
• For Dr. Kim’s bullet point list of steps, sign up for the Conversation Guide

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “When we’re dating our future wife, we guys up our game.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “We loved our time with our kids, but we realized we also had to be intentional about our marriage.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “You have to give yourself time to do the fun stuff. The mundane will still be there when you’re done.” - Lindsay Few

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• With the Creative Questions Bundle you will NOT lack for great conversation topics! Get all the details here!
• Check in on your marriage each week with our Weekly Check In Guide to keep your connection strong
• Sign up here to get the Couple’s Conversation Guide for each episode!
• Questions to Help Your Spouse Open Up
• Is there a marriage resource you need us to make? Tell us your idea!

• Arlene Pellicane will be on the podcast later this summer. She has written some great books on tech in the family!

  • Cool, Calm and Connected: 5 Digital Habits for a More Balanced Life
  • Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World
  • Screen Kids: 5 Skills Every Child Needs in a Tech-Driven World

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Do you ever feel like you and your spouse are two ships passing in the night? Strangers living under the same roof? Business partners executing the plans you’ve made for your kids and household? Then you’re in a disconnected marriage. The marriage relationship should nurture both spouses.

If you’ve lost the connection in your marriage, or just want to step up from where you are right now, tune in today to learn the practical steps for reconnecting.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Why do couples disconnect?
• The steps to reconnection
• A helpful source for fun marriage ideas and resources

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “Little tweaks can make such a difference.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Living separate lives is not going to get you a connected, fun marriage.” Christina Dodson
• “We weren’t always there but we chose to stay in the marriage and work through things. It’s worth it.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “You can continue to grow, but you have to work at it.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Check in on your marriage each week with our Weekly Check In Guide to keep your connection strong Creative Questions Bundle
• Sign up here to get the Couple’s Conversation Guide for each episode!
• The Sex Talk course equips you to teach your kids about sex in a biblical, God-honoring way

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If your marriage communication is a struggle, you are NOT alone. So many marriage issues come back to communication, and if your communication is awesome, your marriage will be too! But most of us will have some trouble with communicating well with our spouse, and it’s the biggest issue couples ask us for help with. That’s why today we’re equipping you with 6 tips to communicate well in the good times and in the bad.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• How to talk so your spouse can listen

• Use the “title page” trick to help your spouse listen to you

• Dr. Kim’s 6 tips to communicate well
• How to find a good counselor if you need one
• How to restart the openness & honesty in your marriage

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “I think what happens for guys is that when we’re dating our future wife, we up our game.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “It’s hard for me to put my thoughts and feelings into succinct words.I can easily ramble on… but that doesn’t make for good communication.” - Lindsay Few
• “The bottom line is you want them to hear what you’re saying, so how do you best communicate in a way that they’re going to hear it?” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “If you’re going through a hard time, call it that. Work together to reclaim your time and energy.” - Lindsay Few
• “We can’t give away every piece of our heart, mind, time and energy to things that drain the life out of us.” - Lindsay Few

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Get the Couple’s Conversation Guide for each episode by signing up here!
• The Sex Talk course equips you to teach your kids about sex in a biblical, God-honoring way
• Dr. Kim’s blogs on questions to ask your counselor:
• 4 Qualities Your Christian Counselor Needs
• 3 Things A Counselor Needs To Believe to Help Your Marriage

• 3 Mistakes Couples Make When They Try Counseling

• Our FREE Weekly Check In Guide helps with regular communication

• Making Your Marriage a Refuge with Special Guest Gary Thomas Ep. 530
• Achieving Awesome Communication in Marriage YouVersion Plan

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It often feels like the world around us is too broken. Where would you even start if you wanted to try and fix it? On the podcast today, Charlie and Andi Ashworth answer this question, and thankfully their answer is much simpler and more doable than it might seem.

The Ashworths have spent decades sharing their creative gifts and encouraging others to do the same, and in today’s episode they artfully equip you to take small steps toward creativity, community, and reflecting the light of God’s love, right where you are.

Don’t miss this bonus episode! We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• How should Christians engage with culture?
• A call for culture making - and how simple it is to actually do it
• Why the small things matter - and how to use them for good in your life
• Hope for becoming the remedy to the loneliness epidemic
• How to balance the desire for creativity and the need to get things done
• Battling the dis-integration of “mundane” versus doing things we like

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “We make less and less meaning of everything now, because it’s happening so fast and we’re receiving so much information.” - Charlie Ashworth
• “There’s no small people; there’s no small things. Everything matters.” - Charlie Ashworth
• “We don’t know the stories that will continue after we do.” - Andi Ashworth
• “If all of life matters to God, then all of life matters to us.” - Andi Ashworth
• “We want a formula … but it is a process.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Based on your faith in Christ, what kind of culture are you making? Are you contributing good? Or are you contributing negativity?” - Charlie Ashworth
• “It’s antithetical to the word of God and to creation itself to think that we as people of God are somehow standing outside of it. It actually creates an ‘us’ versus ‘them’ mentality that is so unhealthy.” - Charlie Ashworth
• “Start with where you're at: You're actually getting up and making culture every day.” - Andi Ashworth
• “As an artist, maturity looks like a seamless integration of a diversity of creativity over time.” - Charlie Peacock

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Charlie and Andi’s book, Why Everything That Doesn't Matter, Matters So Much: The Way of Love in a World of Hurt
• Find more from the Ashworths on their website: https://thewriterthehusband.com/
• Andy Crouch’s book Culture Making
• Learn 7 reasons why your sex life may not be where you want it to be, and how to get it there! Sign up here for the 9 Ways to Improve Your Sex Life Webinar

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Your marriage needs trust in order to be healthy. Without it, your connection with your spouse will fade, and you’ll experience more conflict and tension, and less of the closeness and intimacy marriage is meant to have. Don’t stay stuck like this! Turn things around by closing the trust gaps between you and your spouse and make your marriage a safe refuge for both of you.

Episode highlights include:

• Areas where you might not realize you lack trust
• How to address it effectively with your spouse - without blaming
• How to have grace in the rebuilding process
• Tips to building financial trust
• Practical tips to become more trustworthy with completing tasks

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “Without trust in a marriage, the marriage just crumbles.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “We don’t realize how valuable trust is until it’s broken.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Trust can be unique to the person and the situation.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “We have to own what’s driving our trust-breaking behavior.” - Lindsay Few
• “The budget isn’t a prison, it’s a plan. But sometimes it will be uncomfortable.” - Lindsay Few
• “The sooner you go to counseling, the sooner you’ll resolve your issues.” - Lindsay Few
• “If you get stuck, you don’t have to stay stuck.” - Lindsay Few
• “Your spouse may make some mistakes, so look for Jesus in your spouse.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “I felt like he should trust me … but my action was not giving him anything to trust.” - Lindsay Few

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Sign up HERE to get the Couple’s Conversation Guide for each week’s new episode
• We are bombarded with negative messages about marriage. FIGHT BACK with our Reframing Challenge
• If your marriage has been damaged by porn, the 5 Steps to Healing After Porn Betrayal webinar is a great first step to healing. Learn more or grab your spot here.
• Warm Up Your Marriage (Past Episode)

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Today we answer some of the most frequently asked questions we hear about sex. Dr. Kim and Christina covered this on an episode in 2021, and we’ve distilled their conversation into the most timeless and practical answers to common sex questions.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• How often is “normal”?
• Dealing with dead sex drive
• Is oral sex ok in marriage? What about anal?
• Is there such thing as too much sex when trying to conceive?
• How to start talking to your kids about sex
• What do do if your spouse withholds sex

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “Guys, you have to continue to be romantic.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “I wanted my kids to talk to me about sex before they went to a friend or read it on a bathroom wall or a magazine. You want that door to be open.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “You need to honor each other and respect each other’s body to honor God in marriage.” - Christina Dodson
• “Guys, if you please your wife first, does it really matter when you orgasm? There's this unspoken pressure.” - Christina Dodson
• “There’s always an answer. I’ve never had a couple we couldn’t figure out an answer for.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Stay at the comfort level of the one who is least comfortable. If you do that, you’re going to be ok.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Sign up HERE to get the Couple’s Conversation Guide for each week’s new episode
• Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier is a quick weekly email with actionable insights to grow your marriage. Sign up HERE!
• Resources we recommend for starting the sex conversation with your spouse
• Celebration of Sex

• Lovemaking Survey

• Resources we recommend for talking to your kids about sex:

• Don’t Mom Alone Podcast Ep 328
• Full Set - God's Design for Sex Series: Revised and Updated Edition by Stan Jones, Brenna Jones
• We’re delighted to partner with The Sex Talk, an excellent online course to help you navigate this topic well

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Trust in marriage is not one-size-fits all. There are many areas where your marriage needs trust in order to thrive, and some might matter to your spouse more than they do to you, and vice versa. So today we’re talking about how to navigate any trust gaps you may have with your spouse, how to start the conversation about it, and rebuild what’s been broken so you both feel more connected and secure in your marriage.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Several types of trust marriages need, and why they matter
• The side effects of missing trust
• Simple steps to catch a trust slip-up so that trust is not broken
• Specific trust-killers you need to avoid
• How to build trust - and keep it

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “It helps to build trust if you accept me as I am, not as you wish I would be.” - Lindsay Few
• “I may not even be aware if I did something that affected the trust, and I want to know.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “If it’s important to her and it keeps coming up, I want her to tell me about it.” Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “I’d be so offended when he didn’t trust me, but when I think about the reality, I wasn’t trustworthy.” - Lindsay Few
• “Trust is between two people. It’s not just your perception of yourself.” - Lindsay Few
• “It’s not like we quit making mistakes, it’s just that we handle them differently now.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• What would happen if you took the next 4 weeks to reframe your spouse and your marriage with a biblical approach? Cultivate a better perspective – and a better marriage, with our Reframing Challenge
• Sign up HERE to get the Couple’s Conversation Guide for each week’s new episode
• Does your sex life need a reboot? Improve your sex life with our Locking Lips Kissing Game!
• If your marriage has been damaged by porn, the Marriage Undefiled Online Course provides a path to rebuild trust and repair your marriage.
• Click HERE to get the Couple’s Conversation Guide for each week’s new episode!
• The free printable Weekly Check Up is a simple way to keep short accounts and keep building trust.

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Does lust have a place in marriage? What sets it apart from sexual desire? Today we’re working through the reasons this question matters for your marriage, and how to have a marriage that glorifies God in every aspect, including how you steward your sexual desires.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Defining the difference between lust and desire, biblically
• The godly purposes for sexual desire in marriage
• Specific reasons why misused sexual desire is destructive
• How to maintain purity in marriage
• Why porn affects your marriage even if your spouse doesn’t know you use it

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “Lust is more about what you see, what you’re attracted to and what it can do for you.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “In the Bible, it’s not like they lived in a Puritanical culture at that time. No, it was probably every bit as bad…we just access things in a different way now.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “If we look at Scripture, lust was never mentioned in a positive light.” - Lindsay Few
• “We won’t ever clear that bar, but he’s taken care of it through his life, death and resurrection, so there is grace and forgiveness.” - Lindsay Few
• “The best sex is within the context of a Christian marriage.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “If it’s reduced to that ‘just get it over with’ kind of situation, whoa. Red flag. The goal is not just to satisfy the urge, the goal is mutual enjoyment, pleasure, connection and building of the marriage.” - Lindsay Few
• “Vulnerability is uncomfortable, but it can lead you to prevent something a lot more painful.” - Lindsay Few

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• If your marriage has been damaged by porn, our free 5 Steps to Healing After Porn Betrayal webinar with Dr. Kim is a great first step toward healing
• Our Marriage Undefiled Online Course with Matt Cline takes a deeper look at ways to heal and restore your marriage
• Sign up HERE to get the Couple’s Conversation Guide for each week’s new episode
• Getting Your Sex Life Off To A Great Start by Cliff & Joyce Penner
• The Gift of Sex by Cliff & Joyce Penner
• The Best Way to Affair Proof Your Marriage (Past Episode)
• Does your sex life need a reboot? Improve your sex life with our Locking Lips Kissing Game!

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Most couples are not going to be completely aligned with sex drive. There are a lot of factors that can cause this, but there are also a lot of solutions!

Today we want to equip you to have a productive approach to making your sex life the best it can be in marriage.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Why is it so hard to have a productive conversation about sex?
• Should the lower-drive spouse “just do it” for the spouse’s sake? Why or why not?
• Why respecting your wife’s drive level helps her feel sexy
• Ways to respect your spouse’s drive

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• What would happen if you took the next 4 weeks to reframe your spouse and your marriage with a biblical approach? Learn how to have a better perspective – and a better marriage, with our Reframing Challenge
• Does your sex life need a reboot? Improve your sex life with our Locking Lips Kissing Game!
• If your marriage has been damaged by porn, the Marriage Undefiled Online Course provides a path to rebuild trust and repair your marriage.
• Click HERE to get the Couple’s Conversation Guide for each week’s new episode!

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Do you hope to break generational patterns of pain? Are childhood hurts haunting your marriage? Today’s guest Kristen Hallinan is a writer and speaker, and today she helps you see how to identify and break generational patterns to find hope, healing and redemption.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• How your past trauma can affects your current reactions
• What makes it so hard to break cycles
• Red flags of unhealthy family dynamics
• How to work with God to find his redemption
• Steps to making a redemption plan for your marriage

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “It can be easy to say, ‘Why didn’t I know better?’ You didn’t know better because that’s all you knew.” - Kristen Hallinan
• “The more I’ve gotten to know who God is, the more I understand who I am.”- Kristen Hallinan
• “I used to believe if I just tried hard enough, I could grow up and create this perfect family.” - Kristen Hallinan

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Sign up HERE to get the Couple’s Conversation Guide for each week’s new episode
• Learn more about how to make your marriage conflict healthy by joining Dr. Kim for the 8 Guidelines for Fighting Fair Webinar
• Dr. Kim recommends the book, The Body Keeps the Score
• Grab Kristen’s book, Legacy Changer for more great info on the topic
• Follow Kristen on Instagram and check out her website

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Today we are sharing the final episode with Kathy McAtee Young and her story of finding safety after decades in an abusive marriage. In this episode Kathy shares some of the barriers that prevent spouses in abusive marriages from seeking safety and help, ways to begin moving out of the abusive relationship, and the ways healing begins afterward.

Don’t miss the conclusion to Kathy’s story. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Reasons that abused spouse don’t trust their own judgment
• Steps to get out of an abusive marriage
• Is it ever appropriate to intervene if you believe someone is being abused?
• What the process of healing looks like after you get safe

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “One of the hallmarks of an unsafe relationship is confusion.” - Kathy McAtee Young
• “God sees you. He cares. And he is faithful.” - Kathy McAtee Young
• “We don’t want your pity. Compassion, yes. There is a difference.” - Kathy McAtee Young
• “Healing is a lifestyle, not a finish line.” - Kathy McAtee Young
• “When you can name it, then you can process it.” - Kathy McAtee Young

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline : 800-799-7233 https://www.thehotline.org/
• Visit Kathy’s website to learn about the helpful resources and services she offers
• Kathy can also be reached for coaching on Instagram
• This previous episode explains a Biblical perspective on abuse
• Lies That Keep You With Your Abuser with Dr. David E Clarke | Ep. 541

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Today in Part 2 of Kathy’s story, Kathy shares the ways she sought support from the church when she realized her marriage was in trouble, the responses she received, and the effects that had on her marriage. In this episode Kathy shares why it’s not possible for the abused spouse to end the abuse, and the difference between biblical versus unbiblical advice about abuse.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Interventions the church put in place, and why they were not successful
• The wake up moment that turned things around for Kathy
• What is an appropriate response to spousal abuse?
• The red flags that advice or counsel about abuse is unbiblical

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

• Red flags that advice or counsel about abuse is unbiblical
• They won’t call out that abuse is abuse
• They will not call the abuse sin
• The safety of the abused spouse is not top priority
• There is no call for repentance
• They advise you to stay, regardless
• Blaming the abused for the abuse

QUOTES

• “There is one person responsible for abuse: It is the abuser.” - Kathy McAtee Young
• “The Bible definitely commands forgiveness. It does not command reconciliation.” - Kathy McAtee Young

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline : 800-799-7233 https://www.thehotline.org/
• Visit Kathy’s website to learn about the helpful resources and services she offers
• Kathy can also be reached for coaching on Instagram
• This previous episode explains a Biblical perspective on abuse
• Lies That Keep You With Your Abuser with Dr. David E Clarke | Ep. 541

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When does an unhealthy marriage become an abusive marriage? Where can you go when you need to get out? In today’s episode we hear part 1 of Kathy’s real marriage story. Kathy shares how she came to believe that divorce was the most God-honoring option in her situation, and how she found safety after 30+ years in an emotionally abusive marriage.

We are so grateful to Kathy for generously sharing her story. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Dispelling myths about who falls into abuse
• Why marriage counseling does not work in abusive marriages
• How Kathy learned her marriage was abusive
• Why she stayed as long as she did, and why she later divorced

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• This previous episode defines a clear Biblical perspective on abuse:
• Lies That Keep You With Your Abuser with Dr. David E Clarke | Ep. 541

QUOTES

• “I want to debunk the myth that abused women are poorly educated, lower income, women who can easily be taken advantage of. That’s just not accurate.” - Kathy McAtee Young
• “Within the first year, I knew we had trouble…” - Kathy McAtee Young
• “Marriage counseling does not work if there’s abuse involved. I know that now.” - Kathy McAtee Young
• “Most people who are narcissists are really good at it.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “You have this idea that, ‘If she could fix all these things, then I wouldn’t be this way.’ That’s the blame shifting.” - Kathy McAtee Young
• “The heart of abuse is power and control. Everything else is tactics.” - Kathy McAtee Young

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Do you fight fair, or do you wish there was a referee to call a stop to the foul play when you argue with your spouse? Ground rules are an important step toward having healthy marriage conflict, so today Dr. Kim will spell out how to make sure you’re fighting fair in your marriage. We want to empower you to fight fair, and resolve issues in a kind and loving way.

If you need help to fight fair and truly resolve issues without making things worse, you will love today’s conversation.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• The DOs and DON’Ts of fighting fair
• The side effects of unhealthy conflict
• A healthy way to “let it all out”
• Can honesty go too far? How do you know?
• Tips to the reconnection process - how to make up well

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “We both learned we needed to reconnect and apologize, but sometimes we werent’ ready to take that step at the same time. We had to learn that somebody needs to take the step. It doesn’t really matter who started the fight or who was wrong.”
• “Taking responsibility is huge. Owning your part in it, even if you think you only did 10%, you still did 10%.”
• “What are you sorry for? Be very specific in what you did and why you're taking responsibility.”
• “I say it a lot: One of the best gifts you can give your marriage is to learn how to resolve conflict.”
• Forgiveness and apologies need to have no strings attached. It’s just that I choose to do this.
• We’re not just trying to clear a slate so our spouse stops bugging us. Have you repented before the Lord? That’s where this starts.
• We are accountable to Him before being accountable to our spouse. Did I just treat my spouse in the way He would have me treat them? If not, I need to take that up with Him

QUESTIONS FOR YOU

• When you really think about it, how did it affect your spouse when you had this conflict?
• Repentance. Learning from the mistakes made and committing to work on them together.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Learn more about how to make your marriage conflict healthy by joining Dr. Kim for the 8 Guidelines for Fighting Fair Webinar
• Our Conflict Resolution Cheat Sheet is your quick guide to get marriage conflict on the right track.
• If you’re ready to learn how to do conflict well, the Conflict Resolution Guide helps you diagnose the problem areas in your marriage, then learn the steps to resolve them.
• TODAY is the last day for our 7 Most Popular Resource Bundle! Don’t miss the chance to get 7 of our most-loved resources for 1 donation of ANY amount in support of the ministry of Awesome Marriage! Get all the details here!

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Sick of the same old fights over and over with your spouse? Learn to de-escalate marriage fights and resolve issues in a healthy and helpful way. Conflict in marriage is inevitable, but the way you handle it is what matters most. Learning to deal with it well will benefit your marriage in so many ways! Tune in today to learn how.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Common conflict pitfalls to avoid
• The problem with “winning” marriage fights
• Tips to help you break the fighting cycle
• What to do if one spouse is not ready to reconnect

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

• Are you stuck in a conflict cycle? If so, work together to identify what’s triggering it.
• Choose 1 tip from Dr. Kim’s list below that you will both agree to use this week.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “When we try our best to avoid conflict, we’re not really equipping ourselves with the skills to handle it well.” - Lindsay Few
• “Awareness gives you some insight that can really be useful.” Dr. Kim Kimberling

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Learn more about how to make your marriage conflict healthy by joining Dr. Kim for the 8 Guidelines for Fighting Fair Webinar
• Our Conflict Resolution Cheat Sheet is your quick guide to get marriage conflict on the right track.
• If you’re ready to learn how to do conflict well, the Conflict Resolution Guide helps you diagnose the problem areas in your marriage, then learn the steps to resolve them.
• It’s here! Our 7 Most Popular Resource Bundle is LIVE! That means you can get 7 of our most-loved marriage building resources by making 1 donation of ANY amount to support the ministry of Awesome Marriage! The bundle is available for a limited time only. Get all the details here!

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Learn how conflict can create a deeper connection between you and your spouse. Today’s special guest, marriage coach Dana Che is very open about the struggles her marriage faced. In today’s episode she shares her marriage story, what got them through, and how you can use the conflict you face in marriage to draw you toward deeper connection.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• What we can learn from our conflict triggers
• How to deal with different conflict styles in marriage
• Steps to break generational cycles in your marriage
• The power of speaking life to our spouse and our marriage
• How being emotionally unavailable tends to show up in husbands and in wives & what to do about it

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “As a wife, I knew I couldn’t change my husband … but that didn’’ keep me from trying.” Dana Che
• “When you actually engage in conflict, you can start to learn more about your spouse, what’s important to them.” -Dana Che
• “You’ve got to feed the right things if you want to change the wrong things.” - Dana Che
• “Just like you learned that bad behavior, you can unlearn it and learn something new.” Dana Che
• “True repentance is visible.” Dana Che
• “What we believe, we will begin to speak. What we speak, we will begin to behave.” Dana Che

QUESTIONS FOR YOU

• What does your most recent marriage conflict reveal about what’s most valuable to you?

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Find more from Dana at DanaChe.com, where you can take her “Connection Check” quiz
• Listen to the “Real Relationship Talk” podcast
• Joining Marriage Changers now means you score a huge haul of marriage-building goods when our annual 7 Most-Popular Resource Bundle goes live on April 2nd!

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Why do Christians need counseling? Isn’t the Gospel enough to transform us? We hear these questions fairly often. Today Dr. Kim and special guest Jason VanRuler dive deeper into these questions and the conversation about the role of therapy and counseling in a life devoted to following Jesus.

Don’t miss this helpful conversation! We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• How often do clients have no idea that they haven’t gotten past their past?
• Unexpected ways your past might be showing up & affecting your marriage today
• Updating the negative messages we believe about ourselves
• The effect of vulnerability on our marriage connection

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “Where there's a disconnect in relationships, it’s often a disconnect from the system we witnessed growing up and what we’re trying to make happen today.” - Jason VanRuler
• “When we get comfortable, the old ways seep out to the surface.” - Jason VanRuler
• “Every time a client says a negative message about themselves, I ask, is that the message you think God gave you?” - Jason VanRuler
• “One of my great joys is working with people to eliminate distractions so they can focus on the truth and live the life God has called them to.”- Jason VanRuler
• “If we want to feel connected and we’re not feeling connected, a lot of times that emotional intimacy and depth is the missing link.” - Jason VanRuler
• “When we get vulnerable and honest, it attracts intimacy from our partner and we have a different relationship.” - Jason VanRuler
• “The marriage we want is often on the other side of vulnerability. We just don’t often know how to get there.”- Jason VanRuler

QUESTIONS FOR YOU

• Do you recognize any ways you haven’t gotten past your past?

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Get Jason’s book, Get Past Your Past
• His site: https://www.jasonvr.com/
• If you’re ready to heal your marriage from prn, join us for the “5 Steps to Healing After Prn Betrayal” LIVE webinar.
• Joining Marriage Changers now means you score a huge haul of marriage-building goods when our annual 7 Most-Popular Resource Bundle goes live on April 2nd!

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Are you a man living in the stress bubble? It’s when the years of marriage, career building and raising kids all happen at once. You’re figuring everything out, trying to be there for it all, and it. Is. Stressful. If you’re there, you want to hear from a godly dad who has been there.

We’re so happy to share this conversation with Jim Ramos. Jim’s wisdom and experience will equip and encourage you to be the husband and dad you want to be. Don’t miss this episode.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Jim defines the 4 phases of fatherhood
• Advice for the dad who never had a role model to guide him
• Common mistakes dads make in the “stress bubble” years
• Types of provision that the family needs from a husband / father
• 3 easy things Jim did that he recommends for all couples

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “Whether we tell our kids that we’ve made mistakes or not, they’re still noticing. Especially during those teen years.” - Jim Ramos
• "Our families require much more than physical provision. The damage most men do has nothing to do with physical provision; it has to do with heart care and soul care.” Jim Ramos
• “You don’t have to be flashy. You don't have to be Superman. You just have to show up.” - Jim Ramos
• “As men we have to realize our wife is the most important person on the planet, and it’s our job to make one person feel special.” - Jim Ramos
• “You will not be remembered for what you did 9-5, you will be remembered for what you did 5-9.” - Jim Ramos

QUESTIONS FOR YOU

• Jim shared 5 traits that set a “man” apart from a “male”:

• Protect integrity

• Fight apathy
• Pursue God passionately
• Lead courageously

• Finish strong each day

• Which one of these is God calling you to grow in today?

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Find Jim online @ https://meninthearena.org/
• On instagram @themeninthearena
• Get the book Strong Men Dangerous Times
• Listen to the Men in The Arena Podcast

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Dr. Kim has said that prayer is the #1 most impactful thing you can do for your marriage. Today he explains why that is, and how to make it a habit in your marriage. Today we want to make praying with your spouse more approachable by sharing 4 biblical prayers to pray with your spouse that will grow your marriage.

The Bible lists a lot of reasons for marriage, and praying in line with God’s purpose and intention for marriage is very powerful.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Why prayer is an essential act of spiritual protection against the enemy
• Why it’s so hard to get started, and how to overcome
• Healthy perspective shifts praying will provide in your marriage
• How to handle some of the uncomfortable realities of answered prayers
• The power of prayer to help you take personal responsibility

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “Praying together puts God where he wants to be in our marriage: Right in the center of it. - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “The enemy does not want Christian marriages to work.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “When you pray together you find that it unites you.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “There’s a ripple effect: It’s not just about the couple, it’s about the family; it’s about the community.” - Lindsay Few
• “I am more of who God created me to be after being married to Nancy all these years than I would have been without her.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “God put us together. He’s got some fun stuff for us to do. Let’s look out and let’s get this stuff going!” - Lindsay Few
• Blame is a very human response…but we all have a way we can influence the world. We do have control over how we’re responding to God’s call on us.” - Lindsay Few

QUESTIONS FOR YOU

4 Prayers to Pray together:

• Protection from the enemy of our souls
• That your marriage will sharpen you
• Pray that your marriage be fruitful
• That your marriage will be a light

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Our 21 Prayers for Building An Awesome Marriage makes it simple to make prayer a regular part of your marriage <3
• Find more prayers to grow your marriage in the 7 Prayers YouVersion Bible reading plan

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When we pray, it can be tempting to make our prayers a wishlist. But praying in line with God’s word changes things, and today we’re talking about why that matters and how to pray biblically for your marriage. Today Dr. Kim shares 4 prayers that line up with Scripture that you can be praying daily to grow you, and your marriage!

Don’t miss this powerful episode. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Why it matters to pray biblically
• What makes a prayer biblical
• The risk involved in praying these things, and the reward they provide
• How these prayers have impacted Dr. Kim and Nancy’s marriage

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• We’ve probably all heard some things taught, or caught, that were not biblical. We’ve heard ideas like, 'If God loves you, He’ll make you happy,' or 'If you marry the right person, marriage will be easy,' that do not line up with Scripture.”- Lindsay Few
• “Trusting him may be the hardest first step for some of us, because we’re not sure what he’ll do.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Sometimes the prayer we want answered is just the thing that’s easiest for us.” - Lindsay Few
• “He’s always good, even though we don’t see it at times.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Each of us can be thankful that God knows not only what’s best for us, but for the whole world. We don’t have to be burdened with that. He’s got that.” - Lindsay Few
• “If you’re lining up with what God states in his word that He wants to have happen, that’s going to be really powerful.” - Lindsay Few
• “We can’t hide anything from God.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Sexual desire is created for a reason. It’s not a secret from God.” - Lindsay Few

4 Prayers to Grow You and Your Marriage:

• Pray that God will help you love like Christ loved.
• Ask God to search you, know your heart, and reveal any offensive way.
• Pray that your desire will be for your spouse only.
• Ask God to help you see your spouse as He does.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Make prayer a regular part of your marriage with our 21 Prayers for Building An Awesome Marriage
• If your marriage is struggling to recover after infidelity, please check out our Affair Recovery Course. For less than the cost of 2 counseling sessions, this course helps you learn and take the needed steps to healing.
• If porn has damaged your marriage, please take advantage of these resources we’ve created just for you:
• The Marriage Undefiled Course

• Dr. Kim’s podcast episode with Matt Cline

• Find more prayers to grow your marriage in the 7 Prayers YouVersion Bible reading plan

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What does it look like to live in intimacy with God each day? We are delighted to have Faith Eury Cho with us today, sharing about what friendship with God means, even in the “wilderness” times in our lives.

Faith is the CEO and founder of the Honor Summit, a gospel preacher, and author of the new book, Experiencing Friendship with God: How the Wilderness Draws Us to His Presence. Faith does a great job de-mystifying this lofty topic, so you don’t want to miss this conversation.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• What does “friendship with God” actually mean?
• Practical ways to “practice God’s presence,” even if it seems out of reach
• How friendship with God impacts marriage
• How to grow spiritually with your spouse
• Ways to take these concepts into parenting / grandparenting
• How to navigate the wilderness seasons of our faith

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “Sometimes without even knowing, we believe so that God can give us a better life.” - Faith Eury Cho
• “Friendship with God is just intimacy on a day to day level.” Faith Eury Cho
• “We need to really redefine what experience actually means. Because if we go into any relationship, any - our spouse, our kids, our friends - having a set agenda of what experiencing that relationship should look like to us, it can be very unhealthy really quick.” - Faith Eury Cho
• “Start simple. Start with something that is a natural offshoot to your regular rhythms of life.” - Faith Eury Cho
• “I remember moments I would tell God, ‘I don’t have a prayer to pray, I don’t have a song to sing, but I’m here.’” - Faith Eury Cho
• “God cares about every little thing, and we want to give him the opportunity to show us that.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Some of us are friends with fear, not the presence of God, and I think we’ve got to break up with our fear!” - Faith Eury Cho

QUESTIONS FOR YOU

• What is one way you and your spouse like to worship God together?
• Have you seen God move during a ‘wilderness’ season?

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Find Faith on Instagram or at her website, www.faitheurycho.com
• Grab Faith’s book, Experiencing Friendship with God: How the Wilderness Draws Us to His Presence.
• Our 2 Week Couples Scripture Challenge is a practical tool to help you get in the Word with your spouse each day. Find out more here!
• Our House Prayer Cards are one of our best-loved resources, making it simple to use mundane moments for godly purpose in your home. Learn more HERE!
• If you’d like to get each of our monthly marriage resources delivered directly to your inbox, while also supporting the non-profit ministry of Awesome Marriage, it’s time to become a Marriage Changer! Get all the details here.

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How’s the romance in your marriage? How does it compare to when you were dating? (… and does that matter?)

Romance can fall by the wayside in marriage because it seems like an “extra” that you’ll get around to when you have extra time or money, or if you feel inspired to make a grand gesture.

But today Dr. Kim shares several reasons NOT to let that be the case in your marriage. Listen to learn why you need to bring the romance back and HOW to realistically make that happen.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Dr. Kim shares specific ways romance benefits a marriage
• What does romance look like for men vs. for women?
• What to do if you’re just not feeling it
• Whose job is it to make sure the romance is good?

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “Most people would say at some point it was there. So how do you get it back?” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “We kind of quit doing romantic things because we’re not feeling it. Sometimes we have to go ahead and do them, so that we feel it again.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Marriage is a lot better when you’ve got romance in it.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “I think we’d like it to come naturally, like it does in the movies
• “It’s ok to have the conversation. We have to get past the mindset of, ‘If you really loved me, you’d know.’” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Romance is a great way to show your spouse, I see you, I appreciate you, and I care about what you care about.” Lindsay Few

QUESTIONS FOR YOU

• Have you talked about romance with your spouse?
• Ask them: What is sexy to you? What is romantic to you?
• Don’t judge their answers!
• Answers may change over time, so check in every now and then.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• The ❤️‍🔥Sexy Bundle❤️‍helps bring the romance riiight on home! Get all the details about this limited time Bundle HERE!

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Whether you love it or hate it, you spend the majority of your waking hours doing it. And as today’s guest tells us, it’s mentioned over 800 times in the Bible: We’re talking about work.

That’s why we’re so pleased to have Jordan Raynor join us on the podcast today to talk about how your work matters to God - today, every day of your life, and for eternity. This conversation will leave you inspired and encouraged to engage well with the word God is calling you to do, every single day.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• 3 ways your everyday work matters for eternity
• Why Jordan advocates for making an “Anti-Bucket List”
• The Biblical truths of Heaven & Eternity that NO ONE is talking about
• The “abridged Gospel” that most of us believe & the implications we miss if we do
• The practical ways these deep biblical truths will impact your marriage

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “When we understand what God’s word has to say about work, it frees us up to be exceptional both at work and at home.” - Jordan Raynor
• “While God’s word is clear that our labor in the Lord is not in vain, it also makes clear that GOd doesn’t need you or me - His purposes will not be thwarted. He does not need us, he wants us.” - Jordan Raynor
• “I can be at peace walking away from my work at the end of the day … because I know that if the things on my to - do list are on God’s to - do list, he’s going to complete them with or without me. That’s terrifically freeing.” - Jordan Raynor
• “Scripture mentions work more than 800 times. There’s no need to doubt whether or not God cares about your work.” - Jordan Raynor
• “When you understand that 100% of your time at home and at work matters to God, you become fully alive. And this world is desperate to see people that are fully alive.” Jordan
• “I went to Christian school for 13 years. And I remember frequently sitting in chapel, and quietly dreading the thought of heaven.
• “We are called to keep watch for Christ’s return, not by sitting on our hands and waiting for heaven to drop from the sky, but by working with our hands and joining him in cultivating heaven on earth today.” - Jordan Raynor

QUESTIONS FOR YOU

• How does the Biblical idea of stewarding your time change your daily work life?

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Work - life balance is not limited to the workplace: It’s also the work of running a home, and it’s a challenge for most couples to share this load well. Today Dr. Kim is sharing some of his best tips for finding balance in the home.

The struggle to find work - life balance does not end when you get home in the evening. Taking care of a home and family is a huge portion of our workload that you can’t ignore. But you can find ways to handle it well – TOGETHER!

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Tips for spouses who work outside the home
• Tips for those who work from home
• Tips for stay-at-home parents
• Signs you & your spouse need to work toward better balance
• The need for boundaries to help with balance; how to work on them together
• What to do if you get stuck, or if you’ve tried to address things and it’s not working

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• Resolving conflict doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It takes work, but when you talk and listen well, you’ll find that most things, you can resolve. - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• At the end of your life, you’re not going to look back and say, “I wish I’d looked at my phone a few more times.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• If you get stuck, it’s ok to get help. - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• The things that matter work themselves out in the very small details of life. - Lindsay Few
• Maybe you think everyone else is doing it all, so you’re trying to do it all. I don’t think that’s realistic or healthy. - Lindsay Few
• It’s easy to fall in those traps and not really know that you’ve even fallen into them. - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• We have to make sure we’re saying what we mean and what we need instead of just hoping our spouse catches the hint. - Lindsay few

QUESTIONS FOR YOU

• Is the workload in your home balanced?
• Do you have a mentor couple in your life?
• Are your boundaries with tech (screentime, phones) working well?
• Talk with your spouse and rate how you’re doing with work / life balance together, on a scale of 1-10?

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Get all the details about our limited time Sexy Bundle HERE
• Team You & Me
• For more help with setting healthy boundaries, listen to our Boundaries Series:
• Boundaries For Your Marriage: What They Are and Why They Are Important | Ep. 544
• Boundaries Within Your Marriage | Ep. 546
• Boundaries Outside Your Marriage | Ep. 547
• How to Set Marriage Boundaries | Ep. 548
• Boundaries & Marriage: What NOT to Do | Ep. 550
• Real Stories of Healthy Marriage Boundaries | Ep. 551

• Boundaries Q & A | Ep. 552

• Boundaries Course

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Practically speaking, balance is hard to find, and even harder to maintain. While work-life balance is a very common issue, it IS possible to alleviate unnecessary stress and find better balance.

In today’s episode Dr Kim will share practical tips to help you find that balance. Dr. Kim shares some of the common pain points that he sees couples facing, and some of the best ways he’s seen to deal with those.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Tips to help you handle the stress between spouses so that your marriage tension doesn’t add onto the stress of work-life balance
• Some early signs of burnout you cannot afford to ignore
• The importance of making peace with imperfection
• Helpful perspective tips for both career and extracurricular commitments
• Practical tips for work-from-home balance

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode. When you sign up, you will get our 4 Week Connection Challenge for free! Plus you will get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “I was saying no to my family a lot because I was saying yes to all these other things.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Figure out who you are, who you’re working for, what do you really want, and what do you need to get there. Sometimes we get on that treadmill and we just keep going.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “I think it is changing, but there’s still a culture that glorifies overwork, burnout and hustle. It can be hard to step out of that because it feels important to be in it.” - Lindsay Few
• “We have a God that is bigger than my mistakes and imperfections. If I really think the world depends on me being perfect, then I’ve got a problem.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “You don’t just get balanced and stay balanced forever. It’s a constant work in progress.” - Lindsay Few
• “We look around and everyone’s dealing with this, so we just think this is normal. If something has resonated with you, it’s okay to acknowledge that you want things to go better.” - Lindsay Few

QUESTIONS FOR YOU

• 4 reflection questions to help you move forward: What worked, what do I want to do more of, what didn’t work, what do I want to do less of?
• God wants you to thrive. Trust that when you seek these answers, He will answer.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• We mentioned this podcast episode with Gary Thomas
• Get all the details about our limited time Sexy Bundle HERE
• Learn more about what makes expectations healthy in “Unpack Your Expectations, Unfrustrate Your Life” and try a week of Online Women’s Bible Study, FREE!

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Does your home echo with the sounds of sibling squabbles?

Do you wish for more connection with your kids?

If so, today’s episode is for you! Don & Suzanne Manning, the founders of Crazy Cool Family, are passionate about equipping Christian families with strategies to cultivate a family culture they ALL enjoy living with!

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Effective ways to protect kids from screen & tech temptations
• Where to invest your time and energy for the best parenting outcomes - and where NOT to
• The goal of disciplining our kids and how to work toward it

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “Don’t look at the outside and all the fearful things - don't waste your time and energy there: You’re going after your kids’ heart.” - Suzanne Manning
• “Kids are wired to want us on their team. They want our input. ” - Suzanne Manning
• “Control is based in fear, and connection is based in love.” - Don Manning
• “Most people try to control, because we don’t know what to do. But it doesn’t work.” Dr Kim Kimberling
• “We never tell parents they need to work harder. They need to work differently. Becoming an encourager and being a listener are two ways to do that.” - Don Manning
• “Our children are going to go where the encouragement is.” - Suzanne Manning
• “Because of technology and culture, connection today is more important than it’s ever been.” - Don Manning
• “The goal of discipline is self-control. When situations come up, they are opportunities to build self control in my kids. Opportunities to build them up for the next stage of life.” - Don Manning

QUESTIONS FOR YOU

• Do you lean more toward connection, or control?

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Find more resources and info from Don & Suzanne at CrazyCoolFamily.com

• Listen to the Crazy Cool Family Podcast

• Reduce unnecessary arguments, decrease stress in your home, develop better understanding of your spouse, AND strengthen your bond as a couple with THIS: Our 30-Day Communication Challenge!

• Need more communication help? Sign up here to save your spot for Dr. Kim’s FREE webinar, “7 Common Communication Mistakes Couples Make”

• Questions about gaslighting, narcissism and blame? Submit them anonymously HERE or DM us on Instagram. Dr. Kim will answer them in an upcoming episode

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Are you uncertain with your food choices or unhappy with your body? Is it possible to truly be at peace with food and your body? If you’re not comfortable with your body, this will spill over into your marriage. Gaining a biblical perspective with this will help you heal your relationship with your body and food choices, and in turn, your marriage.

Today we are delighted to have Brittany Braswell joining us to tackle these personal and often painful topics, and share hope, help, and Biblical perspective on these topics. Brittany is a Registered Dietician, Christian speaker and host of the Joy-Filled Eater Podcast, and a wealth of wisdom and encouragement on navigating these challenging topics.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• What does Scripture actually say about body image?
• How our view of our body impacts our marriage
• Brittany’s 1st priority for her clients’ nutrition – this might surprise you!
• Tips to handle food choices if you and your spouse are not on the same page
• Ways to support your spouse if they are struggling in this area
• Ways to ask for your spouse’s support if you’re struggling in this area

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “So much of it is our perception: If I see my body negatively, then I’m assuming my spouse does too.” - Brittany Braswell
• “So much of the conversation around body image is very me-centric, not Christ centric.” - Brittany Braswell
• “The Lord blessed us with this variety of flavors and gave us taste buds to be able to enjoy them!” - Brittany Braswell
• “It’s ok to ask for help. You don’t have to meet a certain criteria to deserve some support.” - Brittany Braswell
• “We can eat in a way that helps our bodies to thrive so that our bodies don’t become the thing that holds us back from fulfilling the calling and purpose God has placed on our lives.” - Brittany Braswell

QUESTIONS FOR YOU

• If it’s hard for you to believe it when your spouse says they are attracted to you, dig a little deeper: Why is it hard to believe?

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• For more wisdom on these topics, listen to Brittany’s podcast, The Joy Filled Eater

• Here’s the episode on gluttony she mentioned in today’s conversation with Dr. Kim

• Find Free Resources as well as coaching, courses & community on Brittanys’ website BrittanyBraswellRD.com

• Facebook Support Group: Food Freedom and Body Image Support for Christian Women
• Follow her on Instagram

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If you want to avoid communication breakdowns in your marriage, today’s episode is for you!

Today, Dr. Kim is going to share 3 very common mistakes he sees as he counsels couples, so that you can avoid them! Whether you need a total overhaul or just a few friendly reminders, today’s episode has practical, actionable advice that will help you improve the communication in your marriage.

Are you making the same mistakes most couples make with communication? Dr. Kim has pretty much seen it all, and today he is going to help you avoid those mistakes, and build better communication instead.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• 3 of the most common mistakes Dr. Kim sees over and over with couples he counsels: Blame, discounting, and distraction.
• The impact each of these mistakes has on a spouse and marriage
• The practical steps to avoid each of these communication pitfalls

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• When you resolve conflict, both of you have to take responsibility for your part in it. I’ve never seen an issue where 1 person was 100% responsible. - Dr. Kim
• I think it’s easy for us to rationalize, fool ourselves, and take the time to think it through. - Dr. Kim
• I’ve done it, I’ve seen it in other wives: It’s easy for us in parenting to discount our husband’s opinion. - Lindsay
• Listen in a way that you can let them know you heard what they said. - Dr. Kim
• As a parent with kids in the home, it’s great to have the reminder that they are benefitting from us putting boundaries that let us have an adult relationship with our spouse. As important as they are to us, we should value showing them that solid foundation and modeling marriage for them. - Lindsay
• I identify with all three of these, I’ve done them all. I’ts not something you just get right then coast, you have to stay on top of it. - Dr. Kim

QUESTIONS FOR YOU

• Do you use “I” statements to communicate what you need with your spouse?
• For example: Instead of, “You always ignore me when I’m talking,” say, “I feel hurt when you scroll on your phone when I’m talking. I want to know that you care about what I have to say.”

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Need more communication help? Sign up here to save your spot for Dr. Kim’s FREE webinar, “7 Common Communication Mistakes Couples Make”
• Questions about gaslighting, narcissism and blame? Submit them anonymously HERE or DM us on Instagram. Dr. Kim will answer them in an upcoming episode
• Want to reduce unnecessary arguments, decrease stress in your home, develop better understanding of your spouse, OR just strengthen your bond as a couple? Our 30-Day Communication Challenge is for you!
• With Dr. Kim’s One Thing email, you’ll get one practical tip each weekday to build your marriage.
• The Marriage Multiplier is a quick weekly email that gives you practical ways to be intentional to grow your marriage. Sign up HERE!

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While their life appeared to be successful, fun and amazing, Andy and Sara’s marriage was at a breaking point. Their life was at a high point, but their relationship had reached a low. In today’s episode they share how their marriage recovered.

Can a marriage survive the damage of gaslighting and blame? Today’s episode is proof it can. Dr. Kim got to witness a complete transformation in Andy and Sara’s marriage. Their story is full of grace and hope, and we are so thankful to them for sharing it with us today.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• How did things look good from the outside for as long as they did?
• How Sara used waiting to grow closer to God
• The turning point that allowed Andy to start to change
• The specific process that changed Andy from the inside out

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “We lived this big, giant, amazing life. The problem was, I was getting wrapped more and more into my success, thinking I was this great gift to humanity.” - Andy
• “I felt like he didn’t know me. He didn’t know my heart.” - Sara
• “I was searching for the world to fill that void in my chest that only God can fill.” - Andy
• “You need to meditate and delight in the word of God to change the trajectory of your life.” Pastor Mike (via Andy)
• “The Lord didn’t care about all my success. He wanted me broken at the foot of the cross.” - Andy

QUESTIONS FOR YOU

• How have you seen God show up in the midst of difficult times?
• What are the little things your spouse does that make you feel loved?

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Questions about gaslighting and blame? Submit them anonymously HERE or over on Instagram for Dr. Kim to answer in an upcoming episode
• Want to reduce unnecessary arguments, decrease stress in your home, develop better understanding of your spouse, OR just strengthen your bond as a couple? Our 30-Day Communication Challenge is for you!

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Your faith is a foundation for every aspect of life. So when you’re not on the same page with your spouse spiritually, it can make marriage more complicated.

Dr. Kim has helped couples deal with this situation time and time again, and in today’s episode he shares valuable insight into how you can deal with spiritual disunity in your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Practical ways to pursue unity when you’re not unified on faith
• The common mistakes Dr. Kim sees spouses make in this situation
• The major shift your marriage needs to start thriving
• How to change your focus in order to enjoy your marriage

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “God loves them, and knows them so much better than you do, and He knows what works and doesn’t work for that person.” Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Just accepting your spouse and not trying to change them is essential. You can’t really have a thriving marriage until you make that shift.” - Lindsay Few
• “Growth hurts, but I’m glad I’m not the same as I was.” - Lindsay Few
• “My life is so much different and better because I married Nancy, even though some of it was so hard for both of us.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling

QUESTIONS FOR YOU

• Have you let go of trying to change your spouse, and let God take over that job?
• Pray and ask God: How can I love my spouse well today?

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• When your marriage is struggling, everything feels more overwhelming. We created 21 Prayers for Struggling Marriage to help make praying for your marriage less challenging. God is the one who can change your hearts and your marriage for the better, so inviting him to do those things is the best thing you can do for your marriage.
• Do you want to reduce unnecessary arguments, decrease stress in your home, develop better understanding & connection with your spouse, or strengthen your bond as a couple? If you do, then our 30-Day Communication Challenge is for you!

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No one loves talking finances, but we do think you’ll love today’s conversation with Julie Baumgardner! Julie shares how to get curious about what money means to your spouse, how two spouses’ separate financial backgrounds and “money stories” can stop being a source of tension, and start becoming a shared value.

Listen to this episode if you’re ready to get on the same page with your spouse about finances this season - without fighting about them!

Episode highlights include:

• Questions to start a productive conversation about finances with your spouse
• How to uncover the hidden money lessons you learned growing up, then to get on the same page with your spouse.
• What recent research says about the connection of money and marital happiness
• How to learn more about your spouse’s perspective about money
• Ways to work together toward shared values around money in your marriage

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES:

• “You have different perspectives about money. You don’t necessarily talk about what it means to you, how you think about it, therefore you argue about it.” - Julie Baumgardner
• “You can have conversations about money without having to be methodical about every single penny.” - Julie Baumgardner
• “If you can’t figure out how to live within your means with a little, it will be very complicated to figure out how to live within your means with a lot.” - Julie Baumgardner
• “It isn’t ‘You’re right, I’m wrong,’ you’re being curious. And in being curious, you’re learning.” - Julie Baumgardner
• “If you can tell that money is creating stress, what is it about money that’s stressful?” - Julie Baumgardner
• “Keep your eyes wide open for where God is calling you to join Him in his work. Be aware, and where you see a need, be a Kingdom builder. ” - Julie Baumgardner

QUESTIONS FOR YOU:

• What matters most to the two of you when it comes to money? It’s never too late to define your core values around money in your marriage.
• What is it about money that’s stressful? If it’s “what ifs," then name the what-ifs and talk through them.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• We found Julie’s article on this topic SO helpful: Do finances in childhood impact your marriage? Research says yes
• Winshape Marriage online and on Instagram
• Find the Money Habitudes game online
• 🎉 Giveaway time! We are giving away a bundle of our TOP 3 RESOURCES of 2023: 44 Tips to Better Sex in Marriage, 21 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, and 21 Day Wife Appreciation Challenge! To enter just leave an honest review of the podcast wherever you listen, screenshot it, send in to info@awesomemarriage.com. Giveaway ends 12/15 10am CST.
• Dr. Kim’s newest book, Love, Intimacy and Sex in the Second Half is now available as an eBook! Grab your copy here!
• We want to help you make 2024 your best married year yet with 12 Marriage Resolutions for the New Year! Click though for all the details of this uplifting resource!

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Is it possible to parent without fear of the teen years? We say yes! So does today’s guest, Kristen Hatton. We are delighted to have Kristen on the podcast today to share how to prepare for some of the aspects of parenting teens that many parents find daunting.

Episode highlights include:

• Kristen shares ways to know if your fears are becoming idols in parenting
• Proactive VS reactive parenting: Which one are you?
• The difference between overparenting and underparenting and how they affect your kids

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “Frequently parents are living in “reactive” mode, and often it’s because we’re just so busy.” - Kristen Hatton
• “If I always say yes to my kids going in different directions with their friends, or being on a travel team, and we’re always just so busy, then all the sudden, church goes by the wayside. Family time goes by the wayside." - Kristen Hatton
• “Often, what children experience from their parents is how they view God. So I want them to know my unconditional love and acceptance, so that they see that that’s how God is too.” - Kristen Hatton

QUESTIONS:

• To evaluate if something you love has become an idol: Are you holding it with an open palm, or a clenched fist? Can you be OK without it?
• Evaluate your emotions to help you see your idols. Ask: Why am I so angry? Why am I so irritable? Is something controlling me? What occupies my time, habits, thoughts, money, and conversations?
• Talk with your spouse to decide:
• What do we want most for our family? How are we doing to get there?
• What do we want to impart to our kids?
• What will we allow? What won’t we allow?

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Learn more from Kristen:
• Follow her @RedemptiveParenting on Instagram
• Find all of her books and resources at KristenHatton.com

• Get Biblical wisdom for parenting teens in her book Parenting Ahead

• Our FREE 16 Ways To Navigate the Teenage Years as a Team will help you keep your marriage strong during this season.

• GIVEAWAY TIME! We are giving away a bundle of our TOP 3 RESOURCES of 2023: 44 Tips to Better Sex in Marriage, 21 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, and 21 Day Wife Appreciation Challenge! To enter just leave an honest review of the podcast wherever you listen, screenshot it, send in to info@awesomemarriage.com. Giveaway ends 12/15 10am CST.
• Dr. Kim’s newest book, Love, Intimacy and Sex in the Second Half is now available as an eBook! Grab your copy here!
• We want to help you make 2024 your best married year yet with 12 Marriage Resolutions for the New Year! Click though for all the details of this uplifting resource!

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Holiday season is upon us, and with it all things festive! I’m guessing your schedule didn’t have much extra space to begin with, so now there’s a risk of becoming truly overbooked. How can your marriage be a priority, even with so much going on?

Today Dr. Kim is sharing several of his best tips for prioritizing your marriage, even in this busy season.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Ways to share the load of holiday tasks & preparation better
• How prioritizing your marriage this season can decrease your stress
• Dr. Kim’s 5 ways to prioritize your marriage this season
• How to implement this if you aren’t on the same page right now
• Tips to de-stress your holiday gatherings and enjoy them more

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES:

• “It doesn’t have to be a whole evening, it doesn’t even have to be a whole hour. It can be just 15 minutes, but you protect that time.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “I think quality time is one of the most important things we do in a marriage, and it also seems to be one of the easiest to bump.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Make sure you're on the same page together, then enjoy it together.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “There’s so much unnecessary tension you can eliminate if you can start to use team language and work together.” - Lindsay Few

QUESTIONS

What is one favorite Christmas tradition you and your spouse have, just for the two of you?

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• GIVEAWAY TIME! We are giving away a bundle of our Top 3 Resources of 2023: Our 44 Tips to Better Sex in Marriage, 21 Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, and 21 Day Wife Appreciation Challenge! To enter just leave an honest review of the podcast wherever you listen, screenshot it, send in to info@awesomemarriage.com. Giveaway ends 12/15 10am EST.
• Dr. Kim’s newest book, Love, Intimacy and Sex in the Second Half is now available as an eBook! Grab your copy here!
• Related episode: “What is team Language? Ep. 501”

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You can reduce the stress and conflict in your marriage simply by creating margin. Today’s episode unpacks several practical ways to create margin in your marriage. Scripture demonstrates how essential a healthy mindset is, so all month we’re getting practical about how to cultivate a healthy mindset and a healthy marriage. Tune into today’s episode to learn how to create margin in your marriage.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage!

Episode highlights include:

• The practice Dr. Kim recommends to help you build margin into your marriage and the free resource we offer to make this simple to do
• Mindset shifts to help you find margin
• Practical ways to prioritize your marriage

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “It’s not just carving out more time for each other, it’s how you use that time.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “We talk about your home and marriage being a refuge. You want to create that.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “It’s worth the effort to get intentional about this and get on the same page, so you can tackle it as a team.” Lindsay Few
• “Learning to really listen makes a big difference. There’s so much value to feeling heard, and knowing that your spouse cares to really listen.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “One thing that really helped us is when we realized we were not each other’s enemy.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Be ok with being counter cultural if that’s what’s best for your family and your marriage.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling

QUESTIONS:

1. How can you and your spouse work together to create more margin in your marriage?
2. How can you work together to create a culture of grace in your marriage?
3. What do you really want for your marriage? What do you need to say no to in this season to make that happen?

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Contentment doesn’t come easily, but is more than worth the effort. Take the steps to grow your contentment with our 15-Day Contentment Challenge! It’s yours for a donation of ANY amount to the ministry of Awesome Marriage this Giving Tuesday!
• Dr. Kim highly recommends a Weekly Check In for every couple – so to make this simple for you, we have created a Weekly Marriage Check In Guide. You can snag this resource for free when you sign up for the One Thing to Grow Your Marriage email series!
• We really enjoyed the book “Ruthless Elimination of Hurry” mentioned in today’s episode

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Cut the stress out of gift giving this Christmas. If shopping for your spouse (and anyone else on your list) feels daunting, this episode is for you. In this episode Patrick Kucharson, the Better Gift Coach, shares how to give gifts that will resonate with their recipients, strategies to become a better gift-giver, and great gift tips for any budget (including free!).

Tune in to learn more!

Episode highlights include:

• Simple strategies to know what they really want
• Why you need to make brainstorming gift ideas a team sport - and who to recruit to your team
• The categories of not-so-good gifts you do not want to fall into this Christmas!
• Patrick’s Golden Rule of Gift-Giving

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

“How much thought you put into a gift doesn’t necessarily translate into the value the gift recipient will assign to it.” - Patrick Kucharson

“Give gifts that you know they want to receive, over gifts that you want to give.” - Patrick Kucharson

“It’s showing that you appreciate them. You’re listening.” - Patrick Kucharson

“A shortcut for gift-giving: Look around, take note of the negatives, and try to give gifts that will remove them.” - Patrick Kucharson

QUESTIONS:

What’s your favorite gift you’ve given your spouse, and what made it great?

Who can you recruit to your “gift brainstorming team” this season?

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Patrick’s Better Gift Coach free weekly email is every bit as entertaining and insightful Patrick was on today’s podcast! Sign up HERE!
• You can also find him on Instagram
• In the midst of all the gift talk, take time to look for something only God can give: Contentment. Grad our 15-Day Contentment Challenge with your donation of ANY amount and pursue true contentment.

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Gratitude is a powerful mindset – it affects our mind, our marriage, even our physical health!

Scripture is clear that our mindset is very important, so this month we’re digging into how to cultivate a healthy mindset and a healthy marriage.

Today we’re talking about the power of gratitude. What makes this trait so important, and how can we cultivate it? Tune in for all the details!

Episode highlights include:

• Dr. Kim and Lindsay share how gratitude helped them each deal with depression
• The way gratitude helps your marriage and your outlook on life
• Why growing in gratitude actually ends up leading to – more gratitude!
• Practical ways to cultivate gratitude in every day

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

QUOTES

• “I think we’re wired to give thanks and be grateful to God.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “When we acknowledge on a regular basis what we’re thankful for, we tend to be happier and less depressed.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “It’s looking at what’s actually happening in my life. What is God doing? What is here today? It brings you back into the present.”- Lindsay Few
• “I think the more we acknowledge who He is in our lives and worship him for that, that goes a long way to changing our gratitude.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “I don't think God put us together to grumble for 50 years. I think He put us together to grow, to learn, and to be grateful.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “I think it helps us to serve our spouse and serve our God better when our frame of mind is healthier. And I think gratitude makes it healthier.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling

QUESTIONS

1. So many things in the world are out of our control, but God IS in control. What is 1 reason you are thankful that He is in control today?
2. When you think something good about your spouse, say it! What do you appreciate about your spouse?
3. What is 1 thing you can do to be more present with your spouse today?

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Contentment doesn’t come easily, but is more than worth the effort! Grab our 15-Day Contentment Challenge with a donation of ANY amount to the ministry of Awesome Marriage this Giving Tuesday! LEARN MORE HERE!
• The 27 Scripture Prayer Cards resource is a beautiful way to remember scripture and to bring the power of prayer into your marriage each day!
• It’s the perfect time to sign up for Dr. Kim’s daily One Thing to Grow Your Marriage email series, since this week’s emails give you simple ways to practice gratitude with your spouse

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Has blame crept into your marriage? If so, your marriage is certainly suffering its effects. But it does not have to stay that way! Today Dr. Kim helps you discover how to identify and remove this damaging habit from your marriage.

Scripture is clear that our mindset matters, and that we have the ability to change our minds! So this month we’re digging into how to cultivate a healthy mindset and a healthy marriage. Dig in today to start dismantling the blame.

Episode highlights include:

• How to identify - and break - subtle blame patterns
• Why expecting each spouse to give their 50% share to the marriage just doesn’t add up
• Dr. Kim and Lindsay get real about how blame has impacted their marriages
• How to remove blame from our efforts to show our spouse love
• How to address the issue healthily instead

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Dr. Kim mentioned this article from Harvard Health in the episode
• Contentment doesn’t come easily, but it’s SO worth the work! Get our 15-Day Contentment Challenge with a donation of ANY amount to the ministry of Awesome Marriage this Giving Tuesday! Learn more here!
• 15 Daily Prayers Bundle
• More mindset resources:
• Dr. Kim’s Mind Craft Plan
• Switch On Your Brain by Dr. Leaf (includes the “21-Day Brain Detox”)

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Calling all military spouses AND frequent travelers: Do not miss this bonus episode! Today we’re thrilled to have Jen McDonald of Milspouse Matters join us on the podcast. Jen is full of wisdom and warmth as well as practical tips and advice on how to weather a marriage separated by distance and the unique challenges of military life. Tune in and be encouraged by her story!

Episode highlights include:

• The parts of military life that Jen was NOT prepared for
• The realities of deployment and reintegration
• Practical things that helped her marriage stay connected during deployment

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Find Jen on Facebook, Instagram and on Twitter (X)
• Get Jen’s Amazon bestselling book: You Are Not Alone: Encouragement for the Heart of a Military Spouse
• And her new book Milspouse Matters: Sharing Strength Through Our Stories
• She also has several Military Spouse Resources on her site (including the The 5-Day Deployment Devotional and deployment resources for families and kids). Jen has graciously offered our listeners 10% off when you use the code marriage10 at checkout! (Discount available through 12/31/23.)

• Resources for kids / families:

  • The Comfort Crew for Military Kids
  • Military Child Education Coalition
  • Military Kids Connect
  • Military OneSource (info and support for families)

Military and Family Life Counseling Program (free!)

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What does it mean to “reframe?” And how can you know if you need to do it? Reframing is a term Dr. Kim has used in past episodes, and today we learn exactly what it means and the practical steps to do it.

Scripture is clear that our mindset is very important, so this month we’re digging into how to cultivate a healthy mindset and a healthy marriage. Tune into today’s episode for the details!

Episode highlights include:

• The Biblical basis and Scripture to support the concept of reframing
• Practical steps of the reframing process
• What to do if your spouse frames you negatively

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Dr. Kim’s Mind Craft Plan (I accidentally referred to it as Mind Your Marriage in the episode) is a great place to start!
• Caroline Leaf’s book, Switch On Your Brain includes the “21-Day Brain Detox” Dr. Kim mentioned in the episode
• The Weekly Marriage Check In is a great way to stay connected with your spouse, and you get this printable resource FREE when you sign up for the One Thing email! Get all the details here.
• Being self-aware is a gift to your marriage, yourself and everyone around you! Our Self Check In Guide is a tool to take you through the process of growing self-aware.
• Dr. Kim mentioned our Marriage Changers Membership, where he and Nancy share exclusive video content each month. Marriage Changers also get automatic access to each new monthly resource we create. Learn more here.
• Scripture references:
• Romans 12:2
• Proverbs 4:23
• 1 Corinthians 2:16
• Romans 8:6

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You know that moment when things go quickly from okay to “What just happened?” in your marriage? Suddenly there’s tension and you’re totally disconnected.

Today, we are so happy to have Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill join us on the podcast. They do a great job explaining what goes wrong in that moment, and how to prevent it from happening again. Tune in to learn more!

Episode highlights include:

• The shift that completely changed how they approached conflict
• The 1 question to stop asking in fights and the better 1 to ask instead
• The Hills unpack what it means that identity is the #1 human need, and how that plays out in marriage
• A practical tool to easily learn how to emotions well together
• How disconnection can affect family life and strategies to handle it

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Find more from Dr. Glenn and Phyllis at their website: https://www.connectioncodes.co/ and make sure to use the code AWESOME20 for 20% off any of their classes!
• Learn more about using this process to connect in their book: The Connection Codes or on The Connection Codes Podcast!
• Download your free copy of the Hill’s Core Emotion Wheel!
• You are invited to Dr. Kim’s free webinar, 8 Guidelines for Fighting Fair in Your Marriage. Get all the details HERE

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We’re so used to seeing sex allll around us - skin sells, after all! But today, Joshua Ryan Butler shows us how we are still likely to miss so much of what sex is designed to show us. Sex is everywhere – except being talked about by the married couples who are (hopefully!) having it, and the churches and families who desperately need a robust theology of God’s purpose for sex and sexuality.

Today’s episode takes a look at why sex is so much more than right / wrong or rules, and why that truth is incredibly freeing. Tune in to learn more.

Episode highlights include:

• Why does it matter what we believe about God’s purpose for sex?
• How to unpack the tension between what culture says vs church says about sex
• Why a better relationship with God leads to better sex in your marriage (and a better marriage in general!)
• Specifically why our male / female differences are so valuable
• The shift from rule-keeping to image-bearing and what it means for our lives

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Find more from Joshua on his website at Joshuaryanbutler.com
• If you enjoyed today’s episode, you will love Joshua’s new book, Beautiful Union!
• You can break the conflict cycle in your marriage! Dr. Kim is hosting a FREE webinar on Friday 10/27. Get all the details HERE
• Ready to gain REAL freedom and healing from porn in your marriage? Learn more about how you can do that with our new course, Marriage Undefiled: How To Overcome Porn and Heal Your Marriage HERE

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This is the place for honest conversations and practical advice on how to have an awesome marriage. In this brief trailer, Dr. Kim Kimberling and co-host Lindsay Few share what you can expect to hear on the Awesome Marriage podcast each week.

If you enjoy the podcast, follow along here or at awesomemarriage.com/podcast for questions in each week's show notes that will help you and your spouse apply the info in each episode.

We pray this content is helpful for you and your marriage!

• Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

• You can find all of Awesome Marriage's helpful resources on our website.

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What is a gospel perspective of sexuality? It’s hard to answer, since too often, sex is not talked about in the church. Yet it’s literally everywhere in the world around us. Most couples struggle with their sex life at some point and parents are deeply concerned about helping their kids navigate the topic in a God-honoring way in the midst of all of culture’s chaos. That is why we are honored to have Dr. Juli Slattery on the podcast today, sharing her vast knowledge and wisdom on the subject. You don’t want to miss what she has to say.

Episode highlights include:

• Why a biblical worldview of sexuality is actually very freeing
• How disruptions to your sex life can become a springboard to greater intimacy
• 4 specific aspects of God’s love that should define healthy sex in marriage
• The process to engage so you can equip your kids to navigate sexuality biblically
• Encouragement for couples who are struggling in this area

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• For more great info from Juli:
• Her newest book: God, Sex, and Your Marriage
• Her podcast: Java with Juli

• Her website: authenticintimacy.com

• Books by the authors mentioned in the episode:

• Celebration of Sex, by Douglas Rosenau,

• The Married Guy’s Guide to Great Sex and Enjoy! The Gift of Sexual Pleasure for Women, both by Cliff and Joyce Penner

• Refresh your marriage this fall with the 4th Annual Online Marriage Retreat. The retreat is live NOW! This year’s theme is Refresh: Break Through the Barriers to an Awesome Marriage. It’s packed with teaching sessions from our amazing speakers to bring you practical ways to break through the barriers that keep your marriage from being awesome. Click HERE for all the details!

• Set your marriage up for better satisfaction in the bedroom when you get your head in the game with the Think Sex Challenge!

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This week it’s the husbands’ turn to weigh in. Today we hear what men said they wish their wives knew about sex. Would your husband agree? Dr. Kim strongly encourages couples to talk about their sex life, not argue about it, but… most couples don’t! So listening to today’s episode together is an easy way to start the conversation.

Sex in your marriage matters because God created it to draw spouses together, but all too often pain and tension lead to exactly the opposite. Tune in today to learn the next steps in your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Some common Christian sex myths that might be hindering your sex life...
• ... And what the Bible says about them
• Some really effective ways to talk about sex with your spouse ...
• ... And some others you definitely want to avoid

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Set your marriage up for better satisfaction in the bedroom with the Think Sex Challenge
• The 4th Annual Online Marriage Retreat launches THIS WEEK! This year’s theme is Refresh: Break Through the Barriers to an Awesome Marriage and this retreat is packed with helpful sessions from amazing speakers. Click HERE for all the details!
• Ready to gain REAL freedom and healing from porn in your marriage? Learn more about how you can do that with our new course, Marriage Undefiled: How To Overcome Porn and Heal Your Marriage.
• Has sex has fallen down the list of priorities? In Love, Intimacy and Sex in the Second Half Dr. Kim and Nancy tell how they have handled the challenges to their sex life later in marriage.
• We highly recommend the book Celebration of Sex to educate yourself and your spouse on exactly what works for the two of you!

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The wives have spoken! Today we share what women said they wish their husbands knew about sex. Would your wife agree? Dr. Kim wants couples to talk about their sex life, not argue about it! So an easy way to start is by listening to today’s episode together and talking about it.

Sex in your marriage matters because God created it to draw spouses together, but all too often pain and tension lead to exactly the opposite. Tune in today to get the conversation started!

Episode highlights include:

• Tips to help balance the mental load spouses are carrying
• Women don’t get tired of their husband’s compliments – with this 1 exception!
• Practical reasons why it can be helpful to schedule sex
• Addressing assumptions spouses make that will deter them from great sex

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Set your marriage up for better satisfaction in the bedroom with the Think Sex Challenge
• Ready to gain REAL freedom and healing from porn in your marriage? Learn more about how you can do that with our new course, Marriage Undefiled: How To Overcome Porn and Heal Your Marriage.
• Has sex has fallen down the list of priorities? In Love, Intimacy and Sex in the Second Half Dr. Kim and Nancy tell how they have handled the challenges to their sex life later in marriage.
• We highly recommend the book Celebration of Sex to educate yourself and your spouse on exactly what works for the two of you!
• The 4th Annual Online Marriage Retreat launches NEXT WEEK! This year’s theme is Refresh: Break Through the Barriers to an Awesome Marriage and this retreat is packed with helpful sessions from amazing speakers. Click HERE for all the details!

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We are delighted to have Toni Collier on the podcast today. Toni has spoken and written plenty about the way that embracing brokenness, though counterintuitive, is the key to experiencing a full life in Christ. She talked to Dr. Kim about how –and why– to effectively embrace your brokenness personally, what that means, and what it can do for your marriage and family. Don’t miss this grace-filled episode!

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• The faith “secret” that transformed Toni’s perspective on brokenness
• The deeply personal origin of Toni’s new book, and why a children’s book is so important
• The biggest mistake she made early in marriage, and how she recovered

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Be sure to check out Toni’s children’s book Broken Crayons Still Color! It is beautifully designed to help kids deal with big feelings and gain the tools to handle them well.
• And don’t miss Toni’s book, Brave Enough to Be Broken: How to Embrace Your Pain and Discover Hope and Healing, which is full of Biblical wisdom and practical tools to help you heal right where you are today!
• Grow closer to God while you grow closer to your spouse with the 2-Week Couple’s Scripture Challenge! Click through for more info.
• The mind is a powerful sex organ, and the 25-Day Think Sex Challenge is designed to help you harness that power to experience more fun, intimate and fulfilling sex in your marriage.

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Ministry couples face both unique joys and unique challenges. If you’ve been around Awesome Marriage for a while, you’ve probably heard Dr. Kim say to put God first and your spouse second. But when your job is ministry, it can be really hard to balance your vocational ministry with your primary ministry - your marriage. Today we’re talking about how to keep your marriage thriving when you are in ministry.

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• The surprising data on how ministry affects marriage and family
• Our personal experiences of what makes ministry hard on marriage
• What to do if you work in a ministry culture that does not prioritize marriage or family
• 4 specific ways to protect and build your marriage

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Don't let your ministry take out your marriage! The Sustaining Your Marriage In Ministry online course was designed to help you through the challenges you face. Learn more HERE.

• Our friends at Emotionally Healthy Discipleship offer resources that equip leaders to lead from their inner life with Christ.

• Anything you want to hear about that we missed today? Shoot me an email and let us know!

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You may know Jeff Allen from one of his many comedy specials on DryBar Comedy, Netflix, Amazon, YouTube, network TV and more. If you do, you know he can make you laugh about even the hard parts of life and marriage.

In today’s episode we get to go behind the scenes of some of the hardest seasons Jeff and his wife, Tami, experienced in their marriage, and how God brought hope, healing and redemption. Don’t miss this encouraging episode!

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• The surprisingly effective way Jeff’s comedian friend helped him find Jesus
• What changed in Jeff and Tami’s marriage when Jesus entered the picture
• Jeff’s journey to sobriety and learning new coping mechanisms

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

RESOURCES

• Get the rest of Jeff and Tami’s story in Jeff’s Book “Are We There Yet?: My Journey from a Messed Up to Meaningful Life.”

• Jeff’s comedy is a part of this year’s Online Marriage Retreat! Registration is open NOW so click over to learn more!

• If it’s been a while since you felt sexy or were excited about your sex life, our 25-Day Think Sex Challenge will help you get back in the mood! Learn more HERE!

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Your mindset has a powerful impact on everything in your life - including your marriage. Is yours helping or hurting your marriage? Today Dr. Kim shares some sneaky ways your thoughts might be harming your marriage, without you even realizing it, as well as practical advice for how to overcome them.

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• How to identify and correct unhealthy thought patterns
• Why even our fleeting thoughts matter
• One thing that prevents many of us from being honest with God and with ourselves, and how to overcome it

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode. When you sign up, you will get our 4 Week Connection Challenge for free! Plus you will get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

RESOURCES

• Work on healing your mindset with the “Cut the Criticism and Cultivate Companionship” Bible Reading plan on YouVersion
• If you’re a One Thing Subscriber, you know all about Dr. Kim’s Daily Declarations already! If not, sign up HERE and receive a practical daily step each Monday-Friday to help you be intentional about building your marriage.
• If it’s been a while since you felt sexy or were excited about your sex life, our 25-Day Think Sex Challenge will help you get back in the mood! Learn more HERE!
• When you sign up for Dr. Kim’s weekly Dispatch email, you receive a copy of his Daily Declarations FREE as a sign up bonus!

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One reason marriage can be difficult is because it faces real spiritual opposition. 1 Peter 5:8 says the enemy is like “a roaring lion looking for someone to devour,” who would love to destroy us and our marriages. But Christian couples can be confident that God is on our side, He is for us and He has the victory.

So how can we be on guard and ready to fight for our marriage, spiritually? Tune in today to learn how. We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Reasons why marriage is a target of spiritual attacks
• Ways spiritual attacks can show up in marriage
• Steps to fight back and fight for your marriage in those times

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode. When you sign up, you will get our 4 Week Connection Challenge for free! Plus you will get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

RESOURCES

• Dr. Kim shared his heart behind our Marriage Changers membership in today’s episode. Get more info on the membership HERE.
• We are happy to have 50+ AM YouVersion plans. Here are the two we mentioned in this episode:
• Learning to Apologize Well In Marriage

• Praying Over your home

• If you haven’t already, check out our perennial fave House Prayer Cards. They’re Like Dr. Kim’s scripture on the walls thing, but without needing to repaint!

• Our 2-Week Couples Scripture Challenge helps you fight for your marriage by building the habit of getting into God’s Word together.

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How should the rhythms of our child’s season of life inform our parenting? How can your family rhythms and routines cultivate the kind of family atmosphere you are longing for in your household and set your child up for success?

Today our special guest Nellie Harden helps you see where you are in this season of your child’s growing up years and how to parent well in this time.

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• The perspective shift to more peaceful parenting
• Why to number the days of your child’s childhood
• How our own perfectionism affects our kids and our parenting

• The parenting shift we need in the second half of childhood

• A practical way to reduce sibling strife

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode. When you sign up, you will get our 4 Week Connection Challenge for free! Plus you will get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

RESOURCES

• Find Nellie’s book, learn more about the 6570 Family Project and more on her website
• Here’s the article Nellie wrote for Focus on The Family that we loved: “Family on the Rocks!”
• Taking a few minutes a week to check up on your marriage is simple and effective with the Weekly Marriage Check Up Guide
• Our 27 Scripture Prayer Cards are both beautiful AND powerful!

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This time of year, so many families are thinking about how to make this new school year go even better than the last. You may be wondering how you can possibly build in helpful, healthy rhythms when you’re Already. So. Busy. If so, you do not want to miss this episode.

Today our guest Justin Earley shares how to build intentionality and meaning into your existing family habits.

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• What our messy attempts at forming good habits can communicate to our kids (you might be surprised!)
• The perspective shift that lets you take advantage of your family’s existing habits for good
• What does it actually mean to be a spiritual leader?
• Practical advice for wives who want their husband to lead spiritually

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode. When you sign up, you will get our 4 Week Connection Challenge for free! Plus you will get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

RESOURCES

• Hear more on these topics in Justin’s books:
• The Common Rule: Habits of Purpose for an Age of Distraction
• Habits of the Household: Practicing the Story of God in Everyday Family Rhythms

• Made for People: Why We Drift into Loneliness and How to Fight for a Life of Friendship

• Find resources, writing an more from Justin at Justinwhitmelearley.com

• The Weekly Marriage Check Up Guide makes it simple to check in with your spouse each week.

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Ever wondered why you can’t break a habit you hate or form a new one you want to start? Today’s bonus episode is for you! Debra Fileta always brings wisdom and practical tools to help us connect spiritual practices with mental health and relationship health, and we’re delighted to have Debra back on the podcast with us today. We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Why issues seem to surface at unexpected times and what you can do about it
• The equation that leads to lasting change - and why most people get it wrong
• How to effectively begin to break bad habits

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode. When you sign up, you will get our 4 Week Connection Challenge for free! Plus you will get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

RESOURCES

• Debra has also been on these past episodes:
• Choosing Marriage: Interview with Debra Fileta | Ep. 207
• Love In Every Season: Interview with Debra Fileta | Ep. 411
• Are You Really OK? With Special Guest Debra Fileta | Ep. 471

• Oneness Vs. Codependency - What's the Difference? With Special Guest Debra Fileta | Ep. 511

• We think you’ll love Debra’s new book, RESET: Powerful Habits to Own Your Thoughts, Understand Your Feelings, and Change Your Life

• Are you getting the Marriage Multiplier? It’s a quick weekly email from Dr. Kim that gives you ways to intentionally invest in your marriage. Sign up HERE.

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As we enter the fall season, it’s a great time to look at the routines in your life. This month we’re talking all about life-giving routines and rhythms. Sometimes in marriage, we can get into bad habits of conflict or miscommunication, BUT we can also use our habits and routines to build up our spouse and grow our marriage. Today we’re sharing some of our personal routines and family rhythms that help keep our marriages strong.

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Dr. Kim’s personal routine and why it’s so important to him
• The small things that don’t even feel like “things” – and why they matter so much
• Practical ways to build the kind of culture you want to have in your marriage

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode. When you sign up, you will get our 4 Week Connection Challenge for free! Plus you will get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

RESOURCES:

• If you’re not getting Dr. Kim’s One Thing daily email, sign up HERE!
• The Weekly Marriage Check Up Guide makes it simple to check in with your spouse each week.
• Get a better dinner experience when you bring good questions to the table with 52 Questions for Your Family Table

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We talk to a lot of couples who don't know what makes them a great team. And if you don’t know what makes you a great team, how can you operate as one? All too often, opposites attract and it takes intentionality to tap into all that God has for you in the gift of your marriage.

So today we’re talking about leaning into what makes you a uniquely gifted team in your marriage, and resolving the tension that comes from the ways we differ from our spouse.

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• What are the common issues that keep couples from being a strong team?
• Dr. Kim gives great ideas of creative solutions to issues
• How to combat the competition that sometimes creeps into marriage
• We share ways we’ve personally done this in our marriages

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode. When you sign up, you will get our 4 Week Connection Challenge for free! Plus you will get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

RESOURCES

• Get the team conversation started with Team You & Me: A Guide to Approaching Your Marriage as a Team, a resource designed to help you be more intentional to tap into all God has for you in the gift of your marriage.
• Dr. Kim and Nancy’s book, Love, Intimacy and Sex in Second Half is out now! Grab your copy HERE!
• Related episodes you might like:
• What is Team Language? | Ep. 501
• Make the Most of Your Differences with Special Guests Jay & Breona Washington | Ep. 476
• Wives Edition: How to Ask For Help

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Has marriage been harder than you thought it would be? We often say there’s hope for every marriage, no matter where you are today - and there truly is. But you may be wondering how exactly to hold on and fight for your marriage if you’re in a really hard season. Today, we are sharing Dr. Kim’s conversation with special guest Toni Nieuwhof.

Toni is an author, speaker and family law mediator, and she brings such hope and wisdom in today’s episode. Tune in for hope and help to make the future of your marriage better than today.

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• The mental shift helped Toni and her husband keep fighting when their marriage was on the brink
• Practical steps they took to start healing
• Common issues Toni sees couples divorce over
• How to change your mental narrative about your marriage

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode. When you sign up, you will get our 4 Week Connection Challenge for free! Plus you will get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

RESOURCES

• Get more of Toni’s wisdom on this topic in her book, “Before You Split”
• On her website at https://toninieuwhof.com/
• And on the Smart Family Podcast

• Are you willing to do what it takes to reset and renew your marriage? Fight for your marriage with the Marriage 911 online course.

• • Missed the other episodes of our summer Worth Repeating Series? So far we’ve aired:

    • Worth Repeating | Be Your Authentic Self in a Superficial World With Special Guest Sam Acho
    • Worth Repeating | Breathe: Don’t Be Prickly
    • Worth Repeating: Cultivating Curiosity & Courage with Special Guest Bob Goff

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How can curiosity help you have an awesome marriage? How can you grow yourself and your marriage, even in the busyness and life’s changing seasons? As we share some of our favorite past episodes this summer, we are so happy to re-air Dr. Kim’s interview with Bob Goff. Bob and Dr. Kim talked about how to dream big, be courageous and grow closer with your spouse. Don’t miss their encouraging conversation today - it’s certainly worth repeating!

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• The role curiosity plays in keeping you - and your marriage - interesting

• Learning to align your dreams as a couple

• What to do if you don’t have any big dreams to chase

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode. When you sign up, you will get our 4 Week Connection Challenge for free! Plus you will get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

RESOURCES

• 27 Scripture Prayer Cards combine the power of prayer and the power of God’s Word, designed beautifully to help you invite God’s to work in your marriage
• Find Bob @ bobgoff.com
• Check out Maria’s new book, Love Lives Here
• Dr. Kim especially liked Bob’s book Everybody Always
• Missed the other episodes of our summer Worth Repeating Series? So far we’ve aired:
• • Worth Repeating | Be Your Authentic Self in a Superficial World With Special Guest Sam Acho
  • Worth Repeating | Breathe: Don’t Be Prickly

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One common theme we hear from our couples at Awesome Marriage is that life and marriage have been difficult the past few years. The unexpected and unpredictable realities have taken a toll on many of us, and the anxiety and angst have made us quite “prickly.” In today’s episode, Dr. Kim and Christina talk about that prickliness and help you evaluate if you’ve been a little prickly and if so, how to work through it.

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Defining exactly what we mean by “prickly”
• Dr. Kim shares some healthy ways to deal with the pain
• Red flags that can help show us our prickliness
• What do I do if this is me? What if it’s my spouse?

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode. When you sign up, you will get our 4 Week Connection Challenge for free! Plus you will get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

RESOURCES

• Dr. Kim and Nancy’s book, Love, Intimacy and Sex in Second Half is out now! Click HERE to grab your copy!
• 27 Scripture Prayer Cards combine the power of prayer and the power of God’s Word, designed beautifully to help you invite God’s to work in your marriage

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We’re on our annual summer break from the podcast, and during the break we love to re-air favorite past episodes. Today we’re sharing Dr. Kim’s conversation with former NFL linebacker Sam Acho, a speaker, podcaster, and humanitarian. They had an honest and encouraging conversation about what holds us back from being authentic and how to break through fears and be more real.

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• The breakthrough that first helped Sam to stop hiding & pretending he was ok
• Why the closest relationships can also be the places we feel the most insecure
• Why the small steps we take to be real are actually big!
• Steps to take when you feel you’re not living in authenticity

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode. When you sign up, you will get our 4 Week Connection Challenge for free! Plus you will get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

RESOURCES

• Dr. Kim and Nancy’s book, Love, Intimacy and Sex in Second Half is out TODAY!! Click HERE to grab your copy!
• 27 Scripture Prayer Cards combine the power of prayer and the power of God’s Word, designed beautifully to help you invite God’s to work in your marriage
• Sam & Dr. Kim talked today about his book, Let the World See You, and he also has a new book, Change Starts With You: Following Your Fire to Heal a Broken World
• Find Sam on Twitter and Instagram @thesamacho

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Marriage is more of a marathon than a sprint, and to go the distance, it definitely helps to learn from someone who has gone before. Who better to learn from than Dr. Kim? He and Nancy are more than 50 years into marriage, and continue to have so much fun together. It’s not always easy, but it’s definitely worth it! Today Dr. Kim shares his top 5 ways to build a marriage you love that will stand the test of time.

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Practically speaking, how do you put “God first, spouse second”?
• Is the goal to just stay together - or to keep making the marriage better and better?
• The power of looking forward to something together
• Tips to reclaiming fun in your marriage

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode. When you sign up, you will get our 4 Week Connection Challenge for free! Plus you will get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

RESOURCES

• CORRECTION The release date for Love, Intimacy, and Sex in the Second Half is July 11th – just 1 week from today! Click HERE to pre-order now and so you can advantage of the $5 pre order discount with the code SECONDHALFPODCAST
• When it comes to having fun and not taking things too seriously, Dr. Kim and Nancy have receipts! You can find their shenanigans on TikTok and Instagram
• Want to have more fun with your marriage? Our 14 Days of Marriage Fun resource helps you break up the routine and enjoy more fun and laughter together!

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Recovery after porn is possible. Your mind can heal and you can break the addiction. Today’s guest, Matt Cline, is the founder and director of Restored Ministries, which leads men and women out of sexual brokenness and into a life of freedom and impact. Matt has seen countless lives radically changed around the world.Today he talks about his healing process, how God restored his beliefs about sex

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• The God-given purpose of our sex drive - and why that matters
• How do you define the actual difference between “sex” and “making love”?
• Lies porn teaches us about sex and how to replace them with truth
• Specific ways the mind changes after porn recovery
• The process of turning temptation into an opportunity for worship

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode. When you sign up, you will get our 4 Week Connection Challenge for free! Plus you will get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

RESOURCES

• Find all of Matt’s resources at www.restoredministries.ca
• Restored Ministries is on Instagram @restoredsexuality, Facebook @ Restored Ministries, and the Pure Victory Podcast.

• You don’t have to settle for a struggling marriage. The 90 Days to Save Your Marriage plan starts right where your marriage is today and helps get it on the road to healing.

• Click HERE to preorder Dr. Kim’s new book, Love, Intimacy and Sex in the Second Half. Use the code SECONDHALFPODCAST for $5 off at checkout!

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Can your marriage be happy, even after…? Our guest today said that, “About 70% of men in the church are struggling cyclically or addictively with pornography, and about 30% of women. It’s time to stop giving the enemy the power of our silence.” We completely agree! While this story is not easy to tell, letting light into our darkest places is how we will experience the healing God wants for us. We are so thankful that Dannah shared her story with us this week. We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• The antidote to “I don’t even know what to do” about this
• Does a porn addiction always escalate? And why?
• Some of the science behind why this addiction is so hard to kick
• The impact of betrayal trauma on a spouse

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode. When you sign up, you will get our 4 Week Connection Challenge for free! Plus you will get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox.

RESOURCES

• Order Dannah’s book, Happily Even After, for more of her story and insights
• Protect your kids from porn with the help of https://protectyoungeyes.com/
• Click HERE to preorder Dr. Kim’s new book, Love, Intimacy and Sex in the Second Half. Use the code SECONDHALFPODCAST for $5 off at checkout!
• You don’t have to settle for a struggling marriage. The 90 Days to Save Your Marriage plan starts right where your marriage is today and helps get it on the road to healing.

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If porn use has damaged your marriage, you may struggle to feel close and to re-engage in sexual intimacy. You know that healing is possible, but how do you get there?

Today Dr. Kim shares ways that couples can overcome the hurt caused by porn and re-establish the intimacy that will make the marriage thrive again. Time and again, we have seen couples restored, and their marriage even better than before. Tune in today and learn how this can be true for your marriage too.

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Overcoming intrusive thoughts and insecurities
• How porn and comparison are similar
• Why the marriage can be better than before after healing from this

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode. When you sign up, you will get our 4 Week Connection Challenge for free! Plus you will get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

RESOURCES

• Do you love the Bible app as much as we do? Do not miss Dr. Kim’s Verse of the Day on YouVersion Friday!

• Click HERE to preorder Dr. Kim’s new book, Love, Intimacy and Sex in the Second Half. Use the code SECONDHALFPODCAST for $5 off at checkout!

• Has the Awesome Marriage podcast helped your marriage? If so, will you take a moment to leave us a rating and review? They take just a moment to leave, but they do make an difference in getting the show in front of more people.

• In Spotify, click the “star” icon right under the show’s heading

• On Apple Podcasts, scroll down to the “Ratings & Reviews” section of the show page

• Don’t settle for a struggling marriage. The 90 Days to Save Your Marriage plan is affordable, practical, and starts right where your marriage is today to get it on the road to healing.

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Porn use is a pain point for all too many marriages. Today we talk about how to begin healing and rebuilding trust if porn has damaged your marriage. We have seen countless marriages restored from this issue, and we believe God can do the same for you and your marriage. Tune in to learn how you can begin to trust again.

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• The key to knowing if your spouse has changed and is trustworthy
• What if they haven’t changed?
• Why confession is vital to healing and freedom

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode. When you sign up, you will get our 4 Week Connection Challenge for free! Plus you will get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

RESOURCES

• If you are ready to be free from porn, our friends at Restored Ministries offer several options to help both. Please do not hesitate to reach out.
• If your marriage has been affected by infidelity, our online Affair Recovery Course can help. This course is helpful whether you’re just starting the recovery process, or are already in process. Use code: “AWESOMEMARRIAGE” for %10 off.
• Has the Awesome Marriage podcast helped your marriage? If so, will you take a moment to leave us a rating and review? They take just a moment to leave, but they do make an difference in getting the show in front of more people.
• In Spotify, click the “star” icon right under the show’s heading

• On Apple Podcasts, scroll down to the “Ratings & Reviews” section of the show page

• Click HERE to preorder Dr. Kim’s new book, Love, Intimacy and Sex in the Second Half. Use the code SECONDHALFPODCAST for $5 off at checkout!

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We know this topic is a painful one for all too many marriages, and we also know that God can bring full healing if your marriage has been damaged by porn. Today Dr. Kim shares how he’s seen porn impact marriages over the years, why it’s always a problem if it’s part of a marriage, and how to start breaking free.

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Why porn use is never a one-person issue
• Why keeping porn use secret makes it harder to stop using
• Addressing common cultural myths about porn such as, “everyone does it” and “it doesn’t hurt anyone”
• Steps to breaking free if you are using

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode. When you sign up, you will get our 4 Week Connection Challenge for free! Plus you will get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

RESOURCES

• If you are ready to be free from porn, our friends at Restored Ministries offer several options to help both. Please do not hesitate to reach out.
• If your marriage has been affected by infidelity, our online Affair Recovery Course can help. This course is helpful whether you’re just starting the recovery process, or are already in process. Use code: “AWESOMEMARRIAGE” for %10 off.

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Great things are happening on the Awesome Marriage Podcast this summer! In this quick update Dr. Kim and I pop in to talk about what you can expect and what you'll be hearing over the next few weeks. Plus an exciting announcement from Dr. Kim!

We pray these episodes are helpful to you and your marriage.

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode. When you sign up, you will get our 4 Week Connection Challenge for free! Plus you will get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

RESOURCES

• Click HERE to preorder Dr. Kim’s new book, Love, Intimacy and Sex in the Second Half. Use the code SECONDHALFPODCAST for $5 off at checkout!
• Click HERE to sign up for our weekly Podcast Email and get an email each Tuesday with that week’s new episode, plus additional bonus content.
• If you need anything from us, don’t hesitate to reach out at info@awesomemarriage.com

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When Eric and Erikah Rivera met and started dating as high school sweethearts, they sensed God’s call on their lives. But they did not know how it would all unfold. Today they are church planters in their hometown of Chicago, and they graciously share their story of how God has met them in the midst of unexpected fear and pain, and the ways He has worked in each circumstance. Don’t miss this encouraging conversation with the Riveras.

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• How sharing their fears and grief with each other led to increased faith
• Unexpected ways God can use our trials when we invite Him to
• Should the disciple be known as “Doubting Thomas” or “Ride-or-Die Thomas”?
• When God doesn’t answer our prayers the way we hope

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode. When you sign up, you will get our 4 Week Connection Challenge for free! Plus you will get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

Application Questions:

1. What fears are underlying in your heart and mind today? What prevents you from speaking them?
2. Where do you need to see Jesus show up in your life today? In your marriage?
3. How do you need support in those things in your marriage today?
4. How can you better support your spouse in the things they are dealing with today?

RESOURCES

• You can find Eric and Erikah on Instagram
• Hear more on the Brook Church website and YouTube Channel
• 44 Tips to Better Sex in Marriage: Sexual Intimacy Cheat Sheet

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When Eric and Erikah Rivera met and started dating as high school sweethearts, they sensed God’s call on their lives. But they did not know how it would all unfold. Today they are church planters in their hometown of Chicago, and they graciously share their story of how God has met them in the midst of unexpected fear and pain, and the ways He has worked in each circumstance. Don’t miss this encouraging conversation with the Riveras.

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• How sharing their fears and grief with each other led to increased faith
• Unexpected ways God can use our trials when we invite Him to
• Should the disciple be known as “Doubting Thomas” or “Ride-or-Die Thomas”?
• When God doesn’t answer our prayers the way we hope

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode. When you sign up, you will get our 4 Week Connection Challenge for free! Plus you will get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

RESOURCES

• You can find Eric and Erikah on Instagram
• Hear more on the Brook Church website and YouTube Channel
• 44 Tips to Better Sex in Marriage: Sexual Intimacy Cheat Sheet
• Whether you’re early in marriage or past the halfway point, we want you to thrive the whole way through. “Love, Intimacy and Sex in the Second Half” is Dr. Kim’s newest book. It releases in August, and it’s available HERE for preorder today!

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This week we conclude our powerful Unpacking the Baggage series with some details on the process of unpacking marriage baggage, and dealing with what’s underneath. I’m so thankful for Dr. Kim’s biblical wisdom on this topic, as well as the excellent guests we heard from this month. If you missed the previous episodes of this series, make sure to go back and listen for some powerful wisdom on how to heal your heart and your marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Some of the physical signals that can help us prevent overreactions
• Slowing down the process to identify relationship triggers
• How to begin healing from relationship triggers and figure out what’s underneath
• What to do if you don’t know what’s underneath

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode. When you sign up, you will get our 4 Week Connection Challenge for free! Plus you will get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

RESOURCES

• 44 Tips to Better Sex in Marriage: Sexual Intimacy Cheat Sheet
• The L.O.V.E. Your Way Through Marriage Course, by Chris and Jamie Bailey, is a journey of connecting and learning all the necessary steps to start having healthy conflict. Use promo code AWESOMEMARRIAGE for 10% off!

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How can disappointment or unmet expectations in marriage lead us to God’s healing? Our marriage will only be as healthy as the two people in it, and God wants to restore and heal our hearts. We’re delighted to have John and Stasi Eldredge on the podcast today. The Eldredges share so much wisdom and their personal experiences with God’s healing power in their lives and their marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• How to navigate expectations for your marriage and the hurt they can bring
• How to take pressure off your spouse and your marriage
• he two great conversions in the Christian life
• What they would have missed if they had called it quits

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

RESOURCES

• Dr. Kim highly recommends Pause App, by the Eldredges
• Check out their site, www.wildatheart.org - it is full of SO many great resources for you!
• The L.O.V.E. Your Way Through Marriage Course, by Chris and Jamie Bailey, is a journey of connecting and learning all the necessary steps to start having healthy conflict. Use promo code: LOVELAUNCH for 20% off through May 19th!

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When we carry parts of our past with us, it still affects us into today. If we aren’t talking about how the past is for each spouse pushing its way into the present, then we’re probably not getting to the depth of the truth of what’s really going on.

Dr. Kelly Flanagan is a repeat guest on the podcast, and today he shares some transformative steps to dealing with what’s under the surface, and helping your spouse to do the same. Don’t miss this helpful episode!

Episode highlights include:

• Do we really need to bring up old stuff from the past? Why does it matter now?
• Is your heart open to your spouse, or closed?
• What are steps to helping a spouse deal with their baggage?
• What does it mean to “hold space” for your spouse? Plus why and how to do that