Podcast – Go Diaper Free

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You will hear:* The basics of Elimination Communication and how to get started from birth * Why introducing the potty early can make the toddler potty training transition much smoother * Why EC doesn't have to be all-or-nothing—and how part-time EC can still make a big difference

Links and other resources mentioned today: Get my FREE Easy Start Guide * Go Diaper Free book * Tiny Potty Training Book (16mo and up) This is a guest post from Loiusa Rickman, our certified coach serving Gateshead, United Kingdom.
Enjoy! xx Andrea*Potty training doesn’t have to begin with older toddlers. EC is a gentle, child-led method of infant potty learning, suitable from birth to 18 months.If this is the first you’ve heard of Elimination Communication, it probably sounds a bit weird! But once you get used to the idea and consider the benefits for baby, parents and the environment, you might never look at nappies the same way again!

There can be a misconception that EC only works alongside attachment parenting, and that it takes constant attention and work. I pottied my two little boys from 4 months and from newborn. I absolutely love EC, it made our life easier and I can’t imagine doing it any other way. I wanted to share a brief introduction to the basics of EC, along with a more in-depth personal account of our experience of part-time mess-free EC.

Disclaimer I’m not a healthcare professional (although you will find medical professionals among the active advocates of EC). If you have any medical concerns about your child you should always seek professional advice.

The PhilosophyAs new parents these basic functions will quickly seem to become your whole world. While most parents become very attuned to cues for hunger or tiredness, the cues for toileting are mostly overlooked. It’s something parents can be instinctively aware of (how many times have you heard parents point out a baby’s ‘poop face’?!), but it’s not acted on until after the deed. Instead the focus is on dealing with the aftermath (sometimes with catastrophic results, and a once adorable onesie going straight into the outside bin!). Most parents probably aren’t even aware that there is another option.

Potty habits vary historically and across the world – and have been massively influenced by the introduction of disposable nappies. In other societies around the world, parents will notice a toilet cue and act on it. When you think about it, this makes more sense. Instead of waiting then cleaning up the aftermath, why not help babies eliminate more comfortably with less mess? If you’ve ever changed a newborn’s nappy (particularly boys), you probably know the jeopardy of timing it right so you aren’t in the line of fire! This is an instinct babies have from birth to avoid soiling themselves. It’s not unique or remarkable, it’s a fact of nature that many animals have.

The BasicsIn a nutshell, EC is giving babies the opportunity to ‘eliminate’ outside of their nappy, usually in a potty or toilet. To help figure out when baby will most likely need to go, carers can use a combination of cues, common timings, and natural timings by observing baby’s own rhythms. For example, on waking and after a milk feed are good times to offer the potty. If baby pees or poops in the potty, it’s often called a ‘catch.’ A newborn baby can be cradled snuggly over the toilet, a baby that’s sitting confidently can sit on the potty or seat reducer. Go Diaper Free offers loads of information and resources to find out more and to help you get started, including an easy to follow EC handbook.

The AdvantagesThere are so many fantastic advantages, this barely scratches the surface. You can find more benefits here.

One of the top reasons that makes me want to share EC is the easier transition to potty training. It’s something that a lot of parents dread, and I know many families who’ve had stress and tears all round. Waiting for signs of readiness, failed attempts, waiting longer, worrying it’s been too long. If a child has only ever experienced ‘going’ in a nappy, no wonder it can be confusing and scary. Of course some kids aren’t phased at all, but for others it can be genuinely distressing. Potty training is very different for children who’ve used a potty from infancy and who are used to peeing and pooping without a nappy. EC helps to avoid the confusion and fear of introducing something brand new and scary. Children should already have a positive relationship with the potty/toilet, it’s just a case of building on skills they already have.

The Potty Training Spectrum‘Waiting for readiness’ is the most common method currently in the UK. This usually means nappies being used for 100% of waste up to around 2 or 3+ years, with little emphasis on building any familiarity or skills before starting the process.

EC approaches vary widely and can be flexible to suit your circumstances. At one end of the spectrum, some families practice full time EC. This can involve little (or no) use of nappies, and using the potty whenever possible. It takes a firm commitment, and is best suited to parents who are laid back about accidents!

Part-time EC usually means using a combination of potty and nappy, with various tools at your disposal to help – such as using cloth nappies instead of disposables, regular nappy-free time, baby wearing, co-sleeping and special clothing for quick easy removal. While these tools can work well to tip the balance from nappy to potty, it’s important to know yourself and what you’re comfortable with, and to be realistic and relaxed to help make it a positive experience for your baby and family. Again, accidents are to be expected!

Within the spectrum of part-time EC many families choose to potty less regularly, but with enough consistency to bring many of the benefits. This could involve using disposable nappies, limited nappy-free time, more reliance on common timings over natural, perhaps pottying during the day at home but not when out and about or during the night. Even if the potty is used just a few times a day, children become familiar with the process. This can develop into naturally building up more potty visits over time, or can continue part-time until ready to potty train – without fear of the unknown.

There are also other alternative methods of potty training, such as the hybrid approach, the Montessori approach, and many more, which may offer benefits over the readiness method.

Why Haven’t I Heard of EC?Before the introduction of disposable nappies in the 1960s there was more of an incentive to keep babies clean, due to the workload involved in washing cloth nappies. Ask an older relative or friend and they might be able to share their experience of pottying young babies. Methods varied and throughout history there were practices that were rigid or even punitive. The concept of waiting for readiness was introduced as a more gentle child-led alternative by pediatrician Dr Brazelton (who worked with Pampers – the study was used as the cornerstone of their marketing campaign. If you find this conflict of interest disconcerting, read more here).

The readiness method is the only one currently endorsed by the NHS. At the outset of my EC journey I got in touch to find out their position on EC. The response was that they would take it under consideration if new guidance was published by the Institute of Health Visitors or ERIC. While ERIC acknowledge EC as a recognised technique, they conclude that few people’s lifestyles are conducive to EC in the UK.

However, EC is increasing in popularity as more people become aware of the benefits. Celebrity parents Mayim Bialik, Alicia Silverstone and Gisele Bundchen all practiced EC. There are many thousands of members of EC Facebook support groups, including from Yorkshire based Little Bunny Bear (25.7k), Born Ready EC UK (5.9k) and Go Diaper Free (3.3k – previously restricted to book owners, recently opened to all). It’s my hope that in the future EC becomes recognised by healthcare organisations as an accessible approach, so that new parents can be given more balanced information on their options.

Expect BlipsLike most things with kids, there will be obstacles. Like when your sweet little angel suddenly hates the pram and/or car seat, or starts throwing their favourite food on the floor, etc etc. Most people will experience resistance at some point with EC. A ‘potty pause’ may come along when you least expect, when things have been going fine then all of sudden it goes downhill. There are ways to try to get back on track, or it’s fine to scale it back to just the easiest catches, or to even take a break to reset then try again later.

Bear in mind that if your early experience of EC doesn’t go well, it doesn’t mean it won’t ever work. Children change so much over a short time, it could be a different experience a few weeks or months later. It isn’t any sort of failure, and nobody should feel undue pressure to make EC work. However, it doesn’t mean being restricted to the readiness method. By keeping an open mind you may find that over time EC (or a different alternative approach) works for your family and circumstances.

To read Louise’s full EC story with both her boys, visit the original place of publication of this post over here.

Watch the Video Version If you want to watch the recording of today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

What's your favorite part-time EC tip?
I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on January 5th 2021

The post Mess-free potty learning from birth, Using part-time EC appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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You will hear:* What "full-time EC" actually means (and what it doesn't) * How to know if you're ready to move beyond part-time EC * Simple ways to build on the success you're already having

Links and other resources mentioned today:* Get my FREE Easy Start Guide * Go Diaper Free book * Tiny Potty Training Book (16mo and up) Maybe this has happened to you: you’ve been doing just the morning pee or just poops and feeling pretty good about part-time EC, but now your situation has changed, or your energy has picked back up, or you’re just tired of using diapers anymore...how do you move from part-time elimination communication to full-time ECing?

What, exactly, is the next step in potty training our infants and moving towards being truly “diaper-free?”

One of our readers asked this question, so today I’m gonna give it a full answer:

Q: How do you know/decide when to take things “up a notch”? We have been part-time ECing our daughter O (8.5 mos) for 2.5 mos, and we’re doing really well with pottytunities (post-nap, post-nursing, etc) and catching her poops (it’s very clear on her face when she’s pooping). We just don’t know how to transition to the next phase — working toward F/T? — from here. ~Sarah R.

A: Hey Sarah! Thanks for submitting your question to the EC Q+A…I think it’s a wonderful one.

Knowing it’s time to move from part-time to full-time ECMy first thoughts are that you already know that you are ready to take things up a notch because you sent me this question as your top EC question. :)

So, there’s that one….

You “know” that it’s time to move from part-time EC to more full-time EC when you start to ask yourself or your husband or your best friend, “Sally, we’re doing really well. I wonder how I can step this up a notch?”

Deciding on whether to move to full-time ECThe first thing I’d suggest is to consider why you’re doing so.

Is it because you are having success and would genuinely like to try extending EC across a longer time span, more diverse situations, and maybe increasing pee catches along with your poo success?

Or is it because you want to “master” EC and be done with it already?

Or perhaps you want to become perfect at it?

Maybe you’re just wondering if you’re doing “enough”…or if you’ve built the confidence to move forward and take on more?

Or how about our top reason - are you tired of using diapers?

No matter what the reason, when you make your decision, take a few deep breaths and feel into your body at that very moment that you consider it….Do I feel excited and content, relaxed and self-assured, tense and anxious, afraid and nervous?

Your body will always tell you which decision to make.

Oh, and btw…you can’t make the WRONG decision. It’s all a learning process. If you decide to take on more and it doesn’t work out, you can always go back to what you’ve been doing already…knowing that you at least tried, and forgiving yourself (because elimination communication is not all-or-nothing...it’s about “communication” not catch rate).

How to transition from part-time EC to full-time ECThe first thing you’ll want to do is make an inventory of where you are with EC, right now. What things do you do? What things don’t you do? What times of day are you active? When are you not? Where are you? Where aren’t you? You get the idea.

Then, look at which specific aspect you’d like to move toward: I’d like to begin to catch more pees; I’d like to teach my child to signal; I’d like to teach her hard skills that will move her toward potty independence more gracefully and effortlessly; I’d like to ditch the daytime diapers, etc.

Then, fill in the gaps between where you are now and where you’d like to be.

You can use your intuition and brainpower to figure this out, or you van use my book and private, off-Facebook forum.

I also offer 7 minicourses on the biggest EC challenges, including nighttime, outings, getting back on track, wrapping it up, potty pauses, etc., in case you already have my book and want a deep dive.

Do some observation time (episode 83.5a) and find out your baby’s current natural timing and rhythm, and signals (if any). No matter your focus, do this re-observation as a rule!

You can read or listen to this post on how to get your baby to signal (episode #47).

You can read my book for the brand new section on the building blocks to potty independence (what to teach, and when to teach it, to get your baby on the easy road to potty independent).

You can also refer to my book for how to stop using diapers, and when to do it. This podcast also covers the topic (episode #41).

You can look into which EC clothing, undies, and back-ups I’ve used for all my babies (episode #53), and see what you would like to change to next.

You can assess moving to the big toilet (episode #40), or transitioning away from in-arms pottying (episode #39).

It really depends upon what you envision to be next.

(And btw...full-time EC still doesn’t mean “all or nothing.” It just means you’re now, during waking hours, fully open to pottying your baby and doing your best to respond. Especially if you’re done with diapers...you’ve kind of got to be “on,” right?)

If all it is that you want is to do MORE EC, MORE OFTEN, then just start doing EC more!

Sarah, thanks so much for your question!If any of you have shared this experience of moving from part-time to full-time EC, please post your experiences in the comments below.

xx Andrea

Watch the Video Version If you want to watch the recording of today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

What's your next step with EC? We'd love to hear where you are in your journey!
I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on 12/29/20

The post How do I move from part-time ECing to more full-time ECing? appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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You will hear:* Why I stopped praising my babies during EC and potty learning * How rewards and praise can affect potty independence * My favorite ways to respond after catches, misses, and mis-guesses

Links and other resources mentioned today:* Get my FREE Easy Start Guide * Go Diaper Free book * Tiny Potty Training Book (16mo and up) Is praising during potty training good or bad? Should we praise our babies when they use the potty while doing elimination communication?

This is a great question and one that I feel fairly strongly about.

Praise can be communicated in many ways, and depending on the way it’s used, and whether it’s for internally-motivated or externally-motivated behaviors.

Elimination communication and toilet training both involve internally-motivated behaviors.

If your child is externally-motivated to use the potty, to please you or earn a sticker or M&M, then the potential for rebellion and a dysfunctional relationship to toileting is nigh!

Here’s an excerpt from my book about why I no longer praise. I hope it helps you lots:

WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOU CATCH A PEE/POOPLots of people have differing opinions on this. Some people praise the baby, some people praise the action, others reflect what they see/saw, others state their pleasure, and still others say nothing.

After much research, experience, and thought, I recommend that you either (1) Reflect & Notice, or (2) Say Nothing. Before I get to those, here’s a bit about why I no longer praise my babies.

WHY I NO LONGER PRAISEAfter a catch, I used to praise and [albeit positively] judge. In the beginning, I would excitedly say, “Good peepee/poopoo!” and praise my first baby for going. You can see proof of this in most of the videos I taped before I had this epiphany.

After about 5 months, I reassessed this choice and decided to stop praising and start reflecting. Why? Well, I learned that as we praise children (for anything) they begin to do things to receive our praise and thus become extrinsically motivated. My hopes for my babies are the opposite: I want them to be motivated from within themselves.

Further, when I would say that a peepee is “good,” I implied there is also a “bad” version out there. The child may think, If I don’t do it “right,” am I “bad?” This type of positive or negative language comes across as criticism, even if well-intentioned.

I did not do any permanent damage – my tone was appropriate. We all say “good job,” right? It’s okay sometimes, I guess. But going to the bathroom is a natural process stemming from an inner motivation to take care of one’s hygiene and is not meant to happen out of a motivation to please you.

1. Reflect & Notice

The alternative to praise is reflecting or noticing. This means describing what you see baby do without making a big deal out of it. You can even notice how you feel inside and express that. Some examples of how to notice and reflect are:

“You’re peeing.”
“You went pee/poop in the sink.”
“You peed on the carpet. Peepee belongs in the bathroom.”
“You pooped in the potty. I’m excited. That’s where poop goes.”
“You feel relief because you peepeed.”
“What a relief to pee. It feels good to pee outside of your diaper.”
“You went poopoo, ahhhh.” (the noise “Ahhh” reflects the feeling of release)

Even words as simple as “Yay!” or “Wow!” will communicate the satisfaction you feel when she pees in the desired place.

2. Say Nothing

In cultures where infant pottying is the norm, most parents say nothing upon a successful potty. It’s expected that the baby should ask to go pee, and the parent should take her (or that an unspoken intuition should guide it all). It’s not really an exciting event because it is so socially ingrained as part of the “norm” and thus there’s never a big deal made of pottying. It’s a natural given.

Laurie Boucke writes in Infant Potty Training that some parents in intact cultures become upset about a miss in the middle of the kitchen, after the baby is old enough to “know better,” but never do they become upset with the child, nor make her feel wrong. They are only displeased with the activity. This displeasure clearly & honestly demonstrates to the child which behaviors are acceptable and which are not.

WHICH WAY IS “CORRECT?Simply weigh whether you want to raise your child to be intrinsically (reflect or say nothing) or extrinsically (praise) motivated. Many of us have been conditioned to say it, so if “good job” slips out, it probably won’t obliterate baby’s internal desire to do what’s socially expected. But avoid “good boy” or “good girl.”

WHAT YOU COULD SAY AFTER A MISSIf you’ve had a miss (i.e., baby peed before you could offer her the potty), acknowledge that by saying something like, “You peepeed in your pants. Let me know next time, and I will help you put it in the potty.”

Be easy on yourself. It’s not the end of the world if you have a miss. (Remember, EC is all about communication! Not your catch rate.) You want to model the kind of self-love that your baby will have, right? Be nice to Mom/Dad.

Ask yourself, “Now what did Mommy/Daddy learn from that?” The best information is gathered by a miss!

WHAT YOU COULD SAY AFTER A MIS-GUESSIf you have mis-guessed his need to potty (i.e., he didn’t have to go after all), acknowledge that gently. You can say to your baby, “Oh, you don’t need to go peepee after all. Okay.”

Never feel like you have to apologize; you didn’t do anything wrong by offering. So long as you are gentle, open, and non-coercive, you are trying your best.

Next, ask yourself, “Now what did Mommy/Daddy learn from that?” Great information can be gathered from a mis-guess!

GRATITUDE AFTER A CATCHAfter a smooth interaction (baby signals, I offer potty, he pees) I often say, “Thank you for letting Mama know you had to go pee.” If it feels right for you to do that, gratitude is an awesome thing to model for your children.

So there you have it. If you want to raise a child who is not using the toilet to please anyone but him- or herself, I highly recommend you avoid praise. Again, this is for internally-motivated behaviors and bodily processes like using the potty during toilet training and elimination communication.

If you do praise, praise the activity or show your joy (I always do! yay!), but do not say “good girl” or “good boy” because that implies that they could be bad if they don’t do it, and the possibility that they will act out against that idea as a 2 or 3 year old is very high! Rebellion may be heightened. But more than anything, it’s manufactured. This type of praise isn’t based on truth. We are not good or bad for using the toilet. We use the toilet to have good hygiene. It’s just what we do. Matter of fact.

Watch the Video Version If you want to watch the recording of today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

What's your take on praise?
I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on 12/22/20

The post Praise. appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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You will hear:* My favorite tricks for preventing big messes before they happen * Simple clean-up solutions for floors, carpets, and everyday EC accidents * How to make observation time less messy and more productive

Links and other resources mentioned today:* Easy Start Guide for Elimination Communication - get started today for free * The Go Diaper Free Book for ages 0-18 months * Tiny Potty Training Book for ages 18 months and up * Top Hat Potty or Mini Potty by Tiny Undies * Tiny Trainers Is praising during potty training good or bad? Should we praise our babies when they use the potty while doing elimination communication?

This is a great question and one that I feel fairly strongly about.

Praise can be communicated in many ways, and depending on the way it’s used, and whether it’s for internally-motivated or externally-motivated behaviors.

Elimination communication and toilet training both involve internally-motivated behaviors.

If your child is externally-motivated to use the potty, to please you or earn a sticker or M&M, then the potential for rebellion and a dysfunctional relationship to toileting is nigh!

Here’s an excerpt from my book about why I no longer praise. I hope it helps you lots:

After much research, experience, and thought, I recommend that you either (1) Reflect & Notice, or (2) Say Nothing. Before I get to those, here’s a bit about why I no longer praise my babies.

1. Reflect & Notice

Even words as simple as “Yay!” or “Wow!” will communicate the satisfaction you feel when she pees in the desired place.

2. Say Nothing

The best ways to clean up the pee and poo Remember that pee and poop actually come out sterile. It’s when they sit there for a while that they get all bacteria-fied. * Clean up with a natural cleaner (such as Seventh Generation’s All Surface Cleaner with Thyme) and a rag, sponge, or paper towel. Spray the floor then wipe. * If it’s your carpet that became blessed with soilage, use a pet mess//carpet cleaner like OUT! (for pet stains – it works!) or Resolve for carpets. (Podcast #64 covers How to clean pee out of a mattress/carpet/couch) * If there were towels underneath baby, have some clean ones handy before* you begin so you can swap ‘em out when the time comes. * If there’s solid poop, pick it up as you would a dog’s accidental indoor poop and drop it in the toilet, flush, and deal with the carpet or floor as stated above.

Thanks for asking your question!Watch the Video Version If you want to watch the recording of today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

What's one thing you've learned from observation time that surprised you? Share in the comments!
I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on 12/15/20

The post Clean-up appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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You will hear:* Why onesies can become frustrating once you start EC or potty learning * How easier potty access can make your day-to-day EC practice smoother * A practical clothing hack that helps you get more use out of your baby's wardrobe while supporting potty independence

Links and other resources mentioned today: Get my FREE Easy Start Guide * Go Diaper Free book * Tiny Potty Training Book (16mo and up) * Tiny Trainers This is a guest post from Natalie Robbins, our certified coach serving Indianapolis and surrounding areas.
Enjoy! xx AndreaWhen we were expecting our firstborn, Elimination Communication wasn't even remotely on our radar. So, when clothes shopping, we figured of course* we needed onesies…and plenty of them.

If you're like me, the moment you started practicing EC, those snaps became one of your biggest headaches, right? I mean, snapping and unsnapping every couple hours….no big deal. But every 30 minutes?!?! Forget it.

And so…the snaps were left hanging unsnapped, they were snapped to the side, sometimes snapped over the shoulders. Snapped everywhere except where they were meant to be snapped.

AND, to pile on the offense, if you switch from disposables to cloth diapers, the onesies you had been using no longer fit, and you have to size up early. Ugh!

THEN, if you make the jump to using Tiny Trainers (which we did at 10 months), even the thought of using onesies gets thrown out the window. I definitely don't want a miss to involve an entire outfit change.

There's a practical solution to this difficulty - turn your onesies into t-shirts! The pattern I'm going to share with you today is SO easy - anyone can do it, even if the only sewing tools you own are a needle and some thread.

It actually took us until our baby was almost 12 months old before we finally broke and cut a onesie apart…I was so scared of ruining them. To be fair, at that point we basically only owned tops and bottoms in her size, so it was a matter of saving a favorite onesie that would otherwise never ever be worn again. But with this pattern on hand, maybe you can make the jump a lot sooner!

A word of caution: Before you go and destroy your entire stash - maybe just try one. You may find you actually still prefer onesies, especially if your baby isn't mobile yet, so they don't ride up your baby's belly when you carry them all the time. And if you find it doesn't quite work for you, the one onesie you’ve modified will still make a great PJ top with easy diaper access.

If you're worried this might be too much for you, let me assure you, I am NOT a seamstress by any means - if it was simple enough for me, you can do it, too. It would definitely be faster with a sewing machine, but I don't have one, so hand-sewing does the trick (and it's relaxing too!).

Alright, enough with the backstory. Let's get to this pattern!

Items needed:

Needle
An old onesie (probably start with your least-favorite, in case it doesn't turn out as expected)
Thread (preferably a matching or complementary color)
Pins (if you don't have sewing pins, safety pins should also serve your purpose. Even paper clips, butterfly clips, or clothespins could work - anything to keep the fold in place)

1) Get those scissors!To begin, cut the onesie at the lowest point possible, while maintaining a mostly-straight line across. You want as much room to work with as possible.

2) Reverse the shirtThen, flip your onesie-turned-tshirt inside out. We are going to hem up the bottom to prevent it from rolling, and add some extra cuteness.

3) Fold the bottom edgeFold up all the way around the bottom of the shirt just a hair - I folded mine up a little more than I should have here, but I had to because the bottom was a bit too curved.

4) Fold again, and pinThen fold it up a second time. It should look like the picture below. Pin that roll of fabric in place - be sure to avoid accidentally pinning the two sides of the shirt together. You should still be able to put the shirt on your baby (If you wanted to, that is. Definitely don't try it with the pins still in.).

5) Thread your needleI like to double the string, thread it through the needle, and then bring the ends together and knot it. This makes it 4 threads wide which gives you a sturdy, thick thread to work with. It's nice to have your thread (after the doubling and knotting) measure about double the width of the shirt, which will get you through half the hem and leave you enough to secure it at the side seam instead of in the middle of the shirt.

6) Begin stitchingStart near one side seam and poke your needle down into the top part of your fold. Since the shirt is inside out, this means the extra thread left after your knot will be hidden on the inside.

7) Stitch the hemThen hand stitch all the way across the top part of your fold around the shirt, taking pins out as you go. This will keep your hem secure, and leave a very cute little line of stitches at the bottom of the shirt. It WILL be visible, so be sure to keep it as straight as possible.

I found that as opposed to pushing the needle down and pulling the thread through, then up and pulling it through, it was much easier to keep a straight line if I went down and up before pulling the needle through.

I would poke the needle through downward, then leave a millimeter or two of space and poke it upwards, like in the photo below. Then I would pull the thread all the way through.

This allowed me to have neat even stitches, and helped speed up the process because I wasn't flipping the fabric back and forth over and over again.

8) Tie off your thread. When you are getting low on thread (maybe with 3-4 inches left), secure and knot the thread, like I will explain in the next couple of steps. I had enough thread to get through half the hem (from one side seam to the other), tie it off, and then rethread for the second half.

8.a) To begin finishing off the end of your thread, stick the needle into a teeny bit of fabric and pull through, but not all the way - leave some string still loose and not pulled through the fabric, like in the picture below.

Then place your needle inside that loop, pull through, and pull it tight.

8.b) Repeat step eight a second time - this time instead of poking the needle into the fabric, thread the needle into the knot you just created before sticking it through the loop and pulling it tight. This will create a strong, lasting knot that won't come undone.

9) Complete any remaining steps, and enjoy!Now, go back to step five and repeat for the other side of the shirt (the second half of the hem), unless you used a really long thread and got all the way around the shirt the first time - then you're done!

Once you've finished off the knot on the other side, and all your pins have been removed, turn the shirt right-side out and try it on your sweet baby!

A couple other notes:

The shirt I used for this post turned out to be a tiny bit short. We saw a lot of our baby's belly button that evening - oops! The onesie from my first try seemed a little bit longer, and covered her appropriately like a regular shirt. So this t-shirt will probably be used exclusively on top of dresses - to make our little Spring dresses more Fall-friendly.

It's held up well in the wash, and I'm so happy to finally be getting some use out of my favorite onesie again!

Definitely play around and see what works well for you - I hope this inspires you to give it a try!

Watch the Video Version If you want to watch the recording of today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

Do you prefer onesies or t-shirts for your baby right now? And have you ever tried this little hack?
I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on 12/8/20

The post How to Transform Your Onesies Into Tiny T-Shirts (guest post) appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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You will hear:* Why being "too busy" is one of the biggest myths keeping parents from starting EC * How to do observation time without spending your entire day watching a naked baby * The most important things to focus on in the beginning so EC doesn't take over your life

Links and other resources mentioned today:* Get my FREE Easy Start Guide * Go Diaper Free book * Tiny Potty Training Book (16mo and up) Many people say “I can’t start EC because I am too busy. This baby pottying business is NOT for busy moms.”

But I say, “Baloney!”

I have 5 kids spanning 8 years and run two businesses...busy is my middle name, and I’ve pottied all 5 of my babies from birth. Not to brag, but I’m definitely fully qualified to share some tips about how to start EC when you’re super-duper busy in today’s show.

I received this specific question from one of our community members:

Q: We’re in the starting phase of EC and I’ve just begun observing and letting my baby be without a diaper for some time during the day. How do you EC in the beginning when you’re going on a trip, or just have things to do one day that fills the whole day? ~Linda N., Karlstad, Sweden

A: Greetings, Linda! Thanks for writing in your question about scheduling in the beginning steps of Elimination Communication.

I think it’s important to point out how vital the beginning phase of EC is…and exactly how to do it so it doesn’t take over your life (or so it will fit into an already-busy schedule).

How to start EC if you don’t have much timeThe very first thing I’d do is start with ONE of the 4 Easy Catches.

They are:

Wake Ups
Poops
Diaper changes
Ins and Outs

If you are able to commit to any one of these catches, make it a habit! Just offer without expecting a catch, consistently, every day. This will do wonders for your budding EC practice, and might make observation time either (a) unnecessary or (b) much more doable.

You can learn about the 4 easy catches on my free Easy Start Guide. Get one here:

!!Click here to get your free Easy Start GuideSomething went wrong. Please check your entries and try again.EC is an “exposure” technique, so any single pottytunity done with regularity and a calm attitude WILL make a difference over time!

After dabbling with the 4 easy catches, time to do some easy observationFirst, you’ll want to schedule in some naked observation time.

ONLY do this naked time for as long as it takes to gather the necessary information.

Any longer than that, and you’re going to teach your baby to pee on the floor/bed/wherever.

You can, however, continue diaper-free time without it being naked. (Definitely check out my book for more details on this very important topic.)

Okay, back to starting…

So, yes, schedule your naked time.

Find a 2-3 hour block of time that includes at least one feeding and one wake-up.

Turn off your phone, your computer, and Facebook.

Do not invite friends over. Do not do the dishes. Do not multitask.

During this time, make note of your baby’s natural timing and rhythms by recording the intervals between pees and poos as compared to waking, and also as compared to feeding.

Using feeding and waking as starting points will help you make sense of what you’re recording!

Also, make note of any signals your baby makes right before or during the pee or the poo.

There may not be any because the baby is naked. But see for yourself!

Lastly, make note of any feelings or thoughts YOU have right before or during the pee or poo. Is your intuition actively telling you something? This could be used as a resource later.

Then get on with your busy day!

Keep scheduling and doing this 2-3 hour block any time you need to gather more information. IF that need arises.

Don’t just do naked time whenever and think you’re doing EC…Though I don’t think you were asking about this, here’s something I have to say to everyone out there:

Just doing naked “observation” time whenever and simultaneously perusing the internet or calling your mother isn’t the same as focused observation time.

This is not EC. Being “diaper-free” does not mean “let him be naked, peeing wherever all the time, and maybe try to potty him here and there when I’m not distracted.”

If you’re going to do EC with your baby, you’d be best served by scheduling a time, actually paying attention, and thus reducing your overall upfront time commitment to the practice.

That said, don’t just throw it around like a new toy. Actually do it! Clear your schedule, 2-3 hours at a time, and learn how to begin.

If you’re at a loss for exactly how to start, my book will walk you thru step by step. As will I on my Forum.

Starting EC during travel, moving, or other fluxI’d advise any parent to pick a time to start EC when the least “life changes” are occuring.

Having a new baby is not without its ebb and flow. There is always something new happening.

Consider starting EC as the same thing as starting to know your baby’s signs for hunger or sleep or needing warmth or holding. Integrate into the whole beginning if you can.

Get some guidance to help you know exactly how to start in the most streamlined, stress-free way (yes, another shameless plug for my own book).

Starting EC in the middle of world travel might be difficult.

Starting over Thanksgiving at Grandma’s? Not really the best idea.

Scheduling 2-3 hours of observation time before or after Thanksgiving weekend (but not putting it off til Spring)? Great idea!

You don’t have to commit a full 7 days of non-activity to start EC.
You just need to know exactly how to do it AND schedule small increments of time to get you started.

(And remember the 4 easy catches...so easy!)

After starting with easy catches OR with observation…You’ll want to decide how much or how little of EC to do EVERY day…and then do it EVERY DAY. Commit to it and start as you mean to go on.

You can use the tools you gathered during naked time and during the times you’ve committed to ECing every day.

Like I said in the beginning, start with the easy catches, such as upon waking, before or after putting in the carseat, upon diaper changes, just the poops.

You’ll also be using the diaper as a tool, or back-up, and to reduce the stress on you so that EC runs more smoothly.

The main pointsOkay, so all of this is a gross over-simplification of what you may need more guidance to truly wrap your head around.

The main point is, if your life is too busy to adequately feed or rest your baby, then maybe you are too busy to start EC.

Because I’m CERTAIN you’re feeding and resting your baby, I’m CERTAIN you can start EC!

Reframe the diaper as a backup, not a toilet, and simply start with ONE of the easy catches.

If this super-easy way to start doesn’t work for you, do some observation and see what you can see.

Again, if you are feeding and resting your baby fine, even amidst travel, and you have the ability to learn EC AND do the easy catches. If you get that under your belt, you can definitely carve out some time to observe and implement a more substantial start to the practice.

If you can feed and nap your baby, you are not too busy to start EC and should begin right away. (Obvi you just didn’t know how - but now you do! Yay!)

Thanks so much for your question, Linda!Hope it helped clear up some things for you about starting Elimination Communication with your baby.

Watch the Video Version If you want to watch the recording of today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

What's one small step you could take this week to get started with EC?
I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on 12/1/20

The post Starting EC and observing a naked baby if really busy or traveling appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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You will hear:* Why potty readiness is a myth * How babies communicate their potty needs long before they can talk * Why EC can strengthen trust, connection, and communication between parent and child

Links and other resources mentioned today: Get my FREE Easy Start Guide * Go Diaper Free book * Tiny Potty Training Book (16mo and up) * Tiny Chaps - Split pants for baby pottying This is a guest post from Ariane Blais-Lacombe, our certified coach in Chicago/Quebec. Enjoy her very own tips for doing observation time like a pro! xx AndreaWhy EC works*Elimination Communication often puzzles new parents because it doesn’t fit in with what we have heard or seen about parenting. In our culture, babies wear diapers.** They wear diapers all day long, all night long. Babies have a diaper on their butt practically from the moment they are born until they are “ready” to potty train, usually around age 3.

(Learn here why “readiness” is a myth.)

To reinforce this diapering habit and delay potty training, we are told things like:

babies have no awareness of their elimination
young toddlers can’t use a potty
kids under two don’t have bladder and sphincter control.

These messages come from family and friends, caregivers and pediatricians, books and parenting blogs. When people we trust say such things, we tend to believe them. Therefore, we wait and wait and wait before we introduce our children to the potty.

Elimination Communication is based on a different vision of the child than the one we usually have in contemporary Western cultures. EC parents firmly believe that their babies can feel, control, and communicate their elimination needs. We try to answer their basic hygienic need by offering the potty to them.

EC can start as early as birth. It can be practiced full-time or part-time, in combination with diapers or not.

What parents love most about Elimination Communication is that it helps them understand their child and strengthen their relationship with them.

To understand why EC works, we need to forget everything we heard about full-time diapering and delayed potty training for a second. If we change our paradigm for a moment, we can see that EC actually makes a lot of sense. Let’s look at 4 reasons this is true.

The four basic principles of natural infant hygieneNatural infant hygiene (another term for elimination communication) is based on four basic principles that explain why EC works. (Maybe learning these four principles will inspire you to start pottying your baby sooner than you thought.)

With a top hat potty, it's easy to potty baby from the start! Dads can do it too!1. Babies can feel they need to goWhen babies are born, everything is new for them. The cold air, the bright light, the loud sounds. The world is a scary place for tiny humans. That’s why it’s so important to cuddle them and carry them skin-to-skin. By submerging ourselves and our newborns in a dark and calm environment, we re-create the sensations of the womb.

We know babies can become upset when their diaper is wet or dirty, but few of us know that babies can feel the need to eliminate BEFORE it happens. This feeling is especially strong for newborns, since defecating is a totally new sensation for them (babies don’t poop in their mother’s womb).

Just like digestion and gassiness can make newborns uncomfortable, the feeling of elimination can also cause a strong reaction. Young babies will express this sensation in a particularly vocal way in their first few weeks and months of life. They might scream or cry not before they are wet or dirty but because they NEED to go NOW.

Of course, it’s not a clear sensation for them. Babies don’t have the full cognitive capacity to understand what is happening in their body. Nonetheless, they do feel it. Newborns do feel their need to pee or poop.

Want to start EC with your new baby? Get the minicourse Potty Time.

However, this sensation can be lost if it is not encouraged by frequent or occasional potty visits. We have created disposable diapers with such an efficient stay-dry effect that babies completely lose the sensation of eliminating. Then they become toddlers, and after that preschoolers, who have no clue when they pee or poo.

The ongoing habit of constantly wearing highly efficient diapers for 2-3-4 years leads kids to disconnect themselves from their bodily functions, namely elimination. That’s why potty training can be so hard with older kids. They just have no clue what’s going on.

Starting early with even occasional visits to the potty (upon waking, after meals, before bath) will keep your baby connected and conscious of the feeling of his own elimination.

Yes, you CAN start EC even if your baby is older than 6 months! It’s never too late to start infant potty training. You just have to adapt the method to the age and development of your baby.

Learn how to potty train at different ages in this blog post.

2. Babies can express they need to goWe used to believe babies were simple. Feed them, change them. What else could they need?

Fortunately, we now know babies are highly complex individuals, with both physical and emotional needs. This ancient wisdom has made a comeback under the name attachment parenting. This parenting approach encourages parents to be fully aware of their babies’ needs and to try to satisfy them as soon as they arise, or, even better, before.

Whether or not you practice attachment parenting, it’s good to recognize the variety of babies’ needs and the ways they can express them. We know babies try to communicate with us when they are hungry, tired, cold, wet, etc.

Well, it happens they also express signals before they need to go potty. These signals are often confused with other primal needs because their communication capacities are not as refined as ours. Indeed, a baby may be crying for various reasons.

However, many EC parents report that their babies have specific ways to communicate about their elimination. Yes, babies DO tell their parents about this very specific need.

Learning brings siblings together. Split pants help your child use the potty while staying warm.Their capacity to communicate will get better as our babies grow in age and in developmental stages. Newborns may just scream or cry when they need to poop. But older babies can grab their crotch, crawl towards the bathroom, or point the potty. When they get better at communication in verbal and non-verbal ways, they may use baby sign language or simply say the words “peepee, poopoo, or potty.”

If you want to learn more about baby signals and other pottytunities, I strongly recommend Andrea’s Easy Start Guide. Read it, print it, put it on your fridge. It’s a great tool all EC families should have. (And it’s free!)

Babies can control their need to goWatch out. We are about to explore the most counter-cultural EC premise.

“Babies get uncomfortable when they have to go. Ok, I can get on board with that. Babies may cry because of it. Sure, that still makes sense. But come on, there is no way they can control it!”

Yes. Babies can control their elimination.

Any EC parent will tell you that their baby can control his sphincter and bladder. Even if your doctor tells you babies can’t hold it, when you witness it every day, how can you doubt it? Natural infant hygiene is the norm throughout cultures and history. Babies across all of human history have been born with the ability to control their sphincters.

If you are interested in the cultural variations of EC practice, listen to Andrea’s podcast series “How people potty their babies in countries without diapers”. It is fascinating!

Now, I’m not saying a newborn can hold his pee for hours. Far from that. Babies’ capacity to control their elimination is very limited at first. Chances are you will have some misses.

As your baby gets older, and especially when a baby is given regular opportunities to use the toilet, he or she will get better and better at it. Just like their sensation and their communication skills get better with practice and habit, so will their control over their bladder and sphincter muscles...and how long they can wait before releasing.

4. Babies want to remain clean and dryNo matter how sophisticated the human species is, we remain mammals with primal needs and instincts. This is especially important when we try to understand babies. Because they are so new in the world, they are much more influenced by nature than by culture.

Babies don’t like being wet or soiled. That’s why they cry when their diaper is full. But that’s not the only thing. As mammals, human babies have the instinct to not soil themselves and the people who care for them. Aren’t they well-made?

So to recap, we saw that babies can feel their elimination, they can communicate about it, and they can control it.

Now I’m telling you that not only can they do all these things, but they will do them because they want to.

Still skeptical? Tell me if this scenario is familiar. Your baby cries, but her diaper is dry. The second you remove the diaper, your baby pees on the changing table. That is their instinct at work. They want to remain clean and dry, so they wait for you to remove their diaper to do their thing.

As we put all the above 4 reasons together, we start seeing that EC makes a lot of sense. If we can decode our baby and offer the potty at the right moment, our baby will take this opportunity to relieve himself in an appropriate place. This will allow him to remain dry and clean more often and for longer periods of time.

As weeks and months go by, our baby will get better at communicating and holding it. We parents will also begin to know our babies better, and we will get better at EC, too.

If you have a hard time pottying your baby at the “right” moment, the Potty Time Master Minicourse is just for you. It will help you find the right moment to offer the potty, even if your baby doesn’t signal his or her need to go!

I often hear parents say they don’t want to pressure their baby to use the potty. And I totally understand that. But the thing is…we don’t have to pressure them. Infant potty learning is the most normal, natural, and satisfying way to respond to our babies’ hygienic needs, no pressure necessary.

These premises may not make lots of sense in our culture right now, but they do when we examine them alongside the experience of all the EC parents around the world and across time. It is our mission at Go Diaper Free to bring back this knowledge and to integrate it into mainstream parenting...for the good of all parents and babies!

Watch the Video Version If you want to watch the recording of today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

Why do you think EC works? Anything I’ve missed?
I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on 11/24/20

The post 4 Reasons EC Works (guest post) appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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This post was originally posted on November 14, 2018, and has been fully updated on November 17, 2020 to include an audio (Podcast) version, a video (YouTube) version, and to include some basic updates. Enjoy! xx AndreaYou will hear:* Why potty location is much less important than most parents think * When it makes sense to use one consistent potty spot versus multiple potty locations around the house * How babies naturally learn where to potty without formal training or rigid routines * Practical tips for setting up potty stations that make EC easier during everyday life and nighttime pottying

Links and other resources mentioned today:* Get my FREE Easy Start Guide * Go Diaper Free book * Tiny Potty Training Book (16mo and up) * Mini Potty * Mini Potty Cozy * Top Hat Potty * Mini Potty Placing the potty in each room, potty here/there/everywhere...how does pottying your baby in multiple locations affect elimination communication, and should we be pottying our babies in the same place every time?

Today I’m going to answer that specific question from one of our community members:

Q: I potty my 3.5 month old all over the place. First thing in the morning she seems to need to ‘go’ at about 5am so I ‘potty’ her on the bed, leaning on me with the potty between my legs. Sometimes we’re in the lounge room, sometimes her room or the bathroom. Should I start to try and potty her in the on place (the bathroom) so she begins to recognise that as the place to ‘go’? I noticed in your book you mention that once baby can begin to move, they can communicate that the need to ‘go’ when they crawl to the ‘potty’ place.~Sarah, Sydney Australia

A: Hey Sarah! I’m glad that you asked this question…it comes up a lot for a variety of reasons.

My advice is this:

At 3 1/2 months, your baby still doesn’t have the (brain) capacity to maintain long term, repetitive tasks/thoughts/processes (this happens for the short term memory at around 6-9 months, long term around 14-18 months).

It might seem like she’s consistently doing new things…which is right, because she’s learning new skills all the time. But, the brain isn’t quite “there” yet at this age.

A long way of saying that you don’t need to worry about place just yet.

However, your hunch is right about eventually needing to begin to potty her in a consistent place.

At the age your gal begins to crawl, it might be a good idea to start exclusively pottying her in the bathroom.

The exception to this would be if you’re hanging in the living room a lot and the bathroom is too far away for your baby to hold it that long. In that case, you’d also have a potty available in the living room.

Also, if you should ever need to do a naked day to re-learn her timing or signals, or to teach her the motion of “going towards the potty” by placing her on there for each pee, then you’d want the potty nearby (obviously).

For nighttime at 3.5 months, keep pottying her where it’s least disruptive for you. IF she should begin to fuss about it, it might be an indication that she knows she’s peeing over the bed and would like to do it in the proper place (the bathroom). In this case, put a dim nightlight in the bathroom and potty her over the sink at those times, at that age.

Nighttime EC shifts so often that this advice isn’t really applicable to every baby at these ages…but these are some things to keep in mind, anyway!

To recap…Keep pottying her wherever convenient and sensible while she’s young.

When she hits crawling, begin exclusively pottying her in the bathroom (whether in-arms or on the mini potty or toilet set reducer…or in dire situations or pauses, on the floor).

At nighttime, do what’s least disruptive (if anything) and note if she shifts to wanting to potty elsewhere in the wee hours.

And as a final note, we now have 5 children and over the years accumulated many potties, especially because I brought the top hat potty back to market and created a super-short mini potty as well.

Needless to say, we have had potties scattered about the house for years and a baby moving toward one of these potties has usually indicated a signal that they need to pee...and the presence of all these potties has never confused any of them.

Potty your baby wherever it’s convenient. That’s the #1 thing that will make EC work: your consistency!

Thanks for your question, Sarah!I hope it helped some other ECers know what to do when practicing Elimination Communication in multiple locations, with multiple receptacles.

I’d love to know your home potty station set-up(s). What do you do at your casa? Please write them in the comments below.

And here is a little gallery of some of our readers’ potty stations. Enjoy:

Watch the Video Version If you want to watch the recording of today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

Do you potty your baby in one main spot — or wherever works?
I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on 11/17/20

The post Potty Location appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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You will hear:* How EC can actually simplify busy work-from-home days * Tips for balancing meetings, caregiving, and potty opportunities * Ways to reduce stress and diaper overwhelm

Links and other resources mentioned today: Get my FREE Easy Start Guide * Go Diaper Free book * Tiny Potty Training Book (16mo and up) * Top hat potty This is a guest post from Natalie Robbins, our certified coach serving Indianapolis and surrounding areas.
Enjoy! xx Andrea
Whether you work full time or part time, working from home adds an extra challenge to the already-demanding task of caring for a baby. Or is it the other way around? Caring for a baby (or toddler) can make work extra challenging....Either way you put it, I would argue that practicing Elimination Communication can actually make your working and caretaking struggles easier. Less time-consuming poopy diapers to deal with, a happier baby, quick and easy diaper changes, and early potty independence, among other benefits. But, it's quite the balancing act,* trying to figure out how to practically insert it into your work day, especially if you're just getting started.

Here are a few things I've learned from practicing EC while working full time (as a virtual teacher) from home.....starting during the newborn stage, to a crawling baby, and now entering early toddlerhood.

And stay at home moms....whose work involves cooking, cleaning, caring for multiple children, homeschooling, homework help, and countless other jobs....these tips are for you too. While your work might offer a little more flexibility than a 9-5, you definitely fit in the work-from-home category, whether you're paid to do it or not.

Give yourself graceAs much as my perfectionist self hates to admit, lowering your personal expectations of what EC will look like during your work times is necessary in order to create that work-EC life balance.

This is the same advice I would give if your caregiver or daycare provider was on board with EC. When someone else is pottying your baby, their awareness, intuition, and rhythm simply isn't the same as yours. You may have 1-2 wet diapers when you're with your baby, but you pick that same little one up from daycare to find out they had only ONE catch all day.... can be disheartening right? Unless expectations were already low to start - remember when you first jumped into EC? One catch was AWESOME! (and probably enough to get you hooked, right? But I digress...)

Similarly, when you are working, your awareness, intuition, and rhythm, are not the same as when you are fully present, sharing life with your baby. There is the additional burden of work on your mind, and all the expectations, demands, and stress that it adds to your mental load. You simply can't expect yourself to "perform" at the same level as when you're 100% present to your baby.

You might have a high success rate on weekends and evenings, and yet it feels like miss after miss all day long during the work day.... that's okay. Your baby will understand. Remember that this is a long game, and the goal of day to day EC is learning and exposure to the potty - not a perfect catch rate.

Also, keep in mind that if you were going in to work, leaving your baby in the care of others, most likely one of two things would be happening: 1) Baby might not be pottied at all, or 2) Your caretaker might offer the potty, but still have as many or more misses than you have during the work day, simply because they're not as in tune with your little one.

Recognizing and coming to terms with the fact that there will be misses (lots of them, probably) can really take the pressure off and help you do what you can, but not stress too much. So, be grateful you can meet the needs of your baby some of the time, even if it's not perfect.

Offer Consistent PottytunitiesYou, as the parent, decide when you will offer pottytunities during the work day. Perhaps you only choose to potty upon waking - that's okay! Maybe you set a timer for your baby's natural timing, and offer only at those intervals - that works too. :) Or, if you wear your baby while working, you could offer when baby wiggles to get out. I tend to offer on wakeup and based on natural timing, as well as immediately before zoom calls (if we are within several minutes of the natural timing range).

You could incorporate all these options into your routine, or swap out or add other times and situations that work for you. But the fact of the matter is, you probably can't be present and focused on both work and your baby to be equally on par with your EC practice on the days you are off.

But, the positive side of this situation is that your absorption in other tasks will eliminate the tendency to hyper focus on your baby's pottying needs, and minimize the possibility of over offering the potty - which COULD prevent a possible potty pause. :) So offer when you can and when you choose to, but don't stress about when you can't.

Use a backup that works for youDepending on your baby's age, different backups might work better for while you're working from home.

When my baby was in the newborn stage, we used cloth diapers since they were more economical for our increased daily diaper usage. We just kept those diapers handy for the frequent misses, since we pottied primarily after waking and nursing, or an undeniable signal.

Around 6 months, life's circumstances made disposables a better option at the time - and that yellow or blue line makes it SO easy to tell if baby is wet or dry. Our success rate actually increased when we switched to disposables because 1) she signaled better in them, and 2) using the yellow or blue line as an observation tool helped me become more in tune with her natural timing.

At 10 months, we switched to tiny trainers. This was one area I was not willing to lower expectations despite the challenge of working - we knew she was ready for them, and diaper changes were becoming a nightmare. These definitely helped me be even more in tune with my baby's timing and signals, and generally improved our EC practice, but created a teeny bit more stress around misses. More on that in tip number five.

Some days are more stressful than others, and I have definitely reverted to diaper backups on some days when I ran out of clean laundry, or simply didn't have the energy for the extra clothing changes. I continued to offer at the appropriate times, but it allowed me to worry less about a miss.

The backup that is right for you may be totally different based on your circumstances, your personality, your baby, your work, and countless other factors. Each backup has its own benefits. Simply do what works for you.

Keep potty supplies easily accessibleYou might keep a top hat potty under your desk, or maybe have a minipotty in the room with you.

I chose to keep my potty in the bathroom, since it is right around the corner from my work space, so that worked well for us.

Having all your potty, backup, and cleanup supplies handy is so critical to the ease of your EC practice. Our set up involves easy access to wipes, spare pants, clean backups, and a place for dirty backups to go, and our minipotty and seat reducer set in position - all ready for a super speedy clean up or pottytunity.

Protect the floor (and your sanity)If you decide to make the jump, like we did, to using training pants, be sure you can handle the misses, while still balancing work in the picture. Be sure the floor is miss-friendly - we covered our office space with connecting foam mats to safeguard the carpet, and let baby play there or on the wood floors in the living room.

If there's a miss, and I can't leave work to get baby to the appropriate place for changing and clean up, I pull off the wet trainers and pants, wipe off her bum and the teeny bit of residue on the floor with the dry part of her pants, and let her roam bare bum or throw a new pair of trainers on until I can do a better clean up job.

We sometimes will use diaper covers or Tiny Ups to reduce that stress, but it makes it easier to overlook a miss and be less aware of when baby is wet, so I generally try to create an environment where a miss is easy to clean up instead.

Poop misses in training pants are a whole lot less fun.... so protect your sanity by avoiding these as best as possible. After two....three maybe?....poops in training pants, I had to compromise my commitment to the trainers. I diapered for the first half hour of the day, when my morning pooper was most likely to go, if she hadn't gone upon waking, and I was stuck on a zoom call, unable to take her. Still messy, still not fun....but at least it was (usually) contained and not smeared on the floor, and there were no poopy trainers to wash later.

Use an app to trackIt can be so easy to lose track of time when you're focusing on work projects. You might start to wonder, "Did I potty baby 15 minutes ago....or was that 45 minutes...?" A simple click in an app might help you keep better tabs on how often baby needs to pee, or a timer set for a couple minutes before baby's natural timing during awake periods that gets restarted after every pee, might make it easier to keep track of when to offer.

I personally love the "Baby Tracker" app - I use it to track poops (since they don't happen every day, so I know when to anticipate them), and for whenever I do an observation day. What I love most is that all it requires is two simple clicks, and it records the type of elimination, date, time, and interval since the last one. SO incredibly helpful, especially for the busy work-from-home parent.

NOTE: Andrea will be coming out with her own EC logging app soon, and will share about it here and on our newsletter...so stay tuned!!

Hire a mama's helperIt may not improve your EC success rate at first, but it will help you focus better on work projects. The benefit of working from home is that you can recognize your baby's signals and timing and help your babysitter to pick up on them more quickly than if she was totally on her own. And, you can be more involved in modeling pottytunities, or pottying your baby yourself if you prefer. And eventually, your caregiver will likely come to know those signals and get into the rhythm as well, helping your baby become more adaptable by pottying for other people.

When we hired a babysitter to come watch our little one in our home during my work times, I quickly realized that my baby was not at all interested in pottying for her, despite good timing and implementation of our potty routine on our babysitter's part.

So for the first month, we adapted- our sitter would bring baby to me when she noticed signs of needing to potty (i.e. trying to escape, or crawling to find mama), when baby woke up, or when baby was showing signs of wanting to nurse. I would nurse (if needed), potty, and then return baby to her. Misses, she would handle herself - she would sit baby on the seat reducer (and yes - she cried a little - but she was learning too - we use the potty) while rinsing the wet trainers, and then put on a fresh pair.

And then, several weeks later, our baby started to cooperate with our sitter, and would pee for her without any assistance from me. I'm not sure what clicked- if she just needed time to grow in trust, or the consistency of our sitter setting her on the potty when cleaning up misses paid off, or if she simply got used to being in a different room than me and having her needs met by someone else.... but we finally had success, without the need for me to step in, which freed up more time to focus on my work, AND kept our EC practice moving in the right direction.

If you choose to go this route - remember to be patient with your caregiver, just like you promised to lower expectations and be patient with yourself in tip #1.

A couple other notes:

It's held up well in the wash, and I'm so happy to finally be getting some use out of my favorite onesie again!

Definitely play around and see what works well for you - I hope this inspires you to give it a try!

Watch the Video Version If you want to watch the recording of today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

What’s the HARDEST part about balancing work, life, and EC right now?
I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on 11/10/20

The post Balancing Work, Life, + EC (guest post) appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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You will hear:* How to keep baby warm and still catch pees * The best cold-weather clothing for easy EC access * How to avoid bulky layers that interrupt your flow

Links and other resources mentioned today: Get my FREE Easy Start Guide * Go Diaper Free book * Tiny Potty Training Book (16mo and up) * Tiny Chaps * Potty Cozies * EC Gear List * Book Owners’ Forums Q: How do you recommend keeping a young baby warm when starting EC in a cold winter climate? My baby is now 11 weeks old, and I use cloth diapers with her and cue her when she goes in them these days. I’ve been using baby legs and socks on her feet, but that still leaves an exposed area between the thighs and diaper, which makes her cold in my chilly home. Most baby clothes are onesies with too many snaps or zippers to be practical for frequent diaper checks and removals. I’m considering sewing a long fleece dress to cover the gap down to the baby legs (and maybe down to her toes), but that’s not practical to use in a Moby Wrap/Ergo where her legs split open, and a ring sling hurts my back. Thanks for any advice you have to help keep my baby warm while I EC. ~Anonymous, Ithaca, NY, USA*

A: Hey Mama,

This is a great, and timely, question!

Thanks also to JM in Australia and Christine Dashiell of Corvallis, OR, USA, for their similar questions – parts of which are included below as well.

Now on to providing a clear answer….

The basicsMy midwives taught me to always look at what I’m wearing at home or outside and to put one extra layer of clothing on a very young infant.

It’s also a good idea to spend a few extra bucks each month to keep the house warm and cozy.

Prepare yourself for indoor or outdoor cold weather EC by gathering the right easy-on and easy-off clothing (which I’ll get into below).

And remember, you don’t need to wait out the winter to begin ECing your baby. You can do it in the cold weather (Eskimos do – they keep the igloo warm and toss the pee out the door!).

Materials to use for cold weather pottyingJust like adults, adding wool and fleece articles of clothing in the colder months helps us keep snug. Add the same to baby’s wardrobe.
Syncronistically, for EC it’s also nice to have some water-repellant yet leak-proof materials (also wool and fleece).

Elastic topped pants are a wonderful help if you’re slipping them on and off.

And, lastly, if you’re wrapping your naked baby in a blanket or soft towel, choose something soft and liquid repellant like Merino wool or fleece.

Styles of clothing that make cold weather ECing easier (to make or purchase)The highest on this list would be split crotch pants and chaps sets. You can make em or buy em.

Put your existing cloth diaper stash (or even disposables) to use OVER the above pants options to make ECing really easy…and warm.

Choose wool or fleece split crotch or chaps pants. Marija at ECWear has a great selection of USA-made products. Here is a pattern for split pants for babies.

How to use them? More below in the layering section.

Styles to stay away fromFor ECing, you’ll want to stay away from snappis, onesies, clothing that’s cute but not practical, tights, and one piece leggings (unless you cut the crotch out of them!).

Reason is that usually it’s more difficult to remove these types of clothing.

However, if they work fine for you, then go ahead and use em!

Here’s an example of how to layer your baby’s clothing1. Dress your baby in long socks and legwarmers. I used Rock-a-Thigh Babies or Hank & JoJo’s long socks covered with BabyLeggings (use GDF16 to get 5 pair free, just pay shipping).

Put some split crotch or chaps pants over these (I suggest chaps because they have a wider opening and will keep the pants very dry). (I also just did #3 below and put footed elastic topped pants on top of the diaper back-up…your choice!)
Over the bottoms, fold a cloth prefold diaper into thirds or in half and either (a) put a diaper cover over this, or (b) hold the prefold in place with a wool or fleece diaper belt. (Grab some biodegradable diapers here.)
Dress your baby warmly up top with a long tshirt, gown, tiny sweater, whatever you feel is best.
Don’t forget the hat! Babies lose 80% of their heat thru their heads.
Keep baby close in the baby carrier when you’re out and about, or even in a cold home! Your body heat will do its work to keep baby very warm.

See my Gear page for my favorites of all the above items.

Don’t forget the hatBabies are hardier than we seem to know or believe. If you have a hat on your baby, he will retain more heat no matter what the clothing set-up is (even through a short potty break).

Remember the hat and conserve 80% of her heat!

Don’t forget the potty cozyIt sucks to sit on a cold toilet seat. Your baby will thank you if you invest in an inexpensive potty cozy (or make one yourself).

Heating the homeIt’s really worth it, for you and your baby, to keep your home warmer than you would if you didn’t have her sweet self in there with you.

Turn it on, temporarily, or get a space heater to help you all relax, play better, sleep better, and potty better during this fleeting, short-lived stage of “babyhood.”

How much lead time do you need to get baby undressed and to the potty?If you tell your baby to “wait” while you remove her clothing, she’ll hold it. Even at 4 weeks’ age.

Usually, with a 4 week old you’ve got about 30 seconds, with a 4 month old more like a minute, and with a 9 month old, you’ve got about 90 seconds.

As they age, you get more lead time!

But don’t underestimate their ability to control their sphincter muscles…they ARE born with that ability, no matter what doctors and pediatricians say.

My #1 proof for that is that my own son started holding his pee at 2 weeks old. Not for too long, but long enough.

When out and about – dressing for and pottying in the Great OutdoorsWhen we were out in nature during cold months (even all night camping in 40 degree weather!), we used either the looser footie pants over layers of socks and legwarmers or a split-crotch/chaps style pant with the diaper and cover over that, plus plenty of clothing up top, hats, and even little leather Bobux shoes.

See layering above for those options and choose whichever works BEST for you.

If you must potty in nature when it’s cold, use the Squatting while Holding Baby in Classic EC Position. Your baby will be shielded from the wind by your thighs!

Also, use the potty in the car or use public restrooms when possible. Your baby will thank you for the extra warmth.

You may use the top hat potty with a potty cozy as well (I highly recommend keeping this in your car, and by the bedside for nighttime pottying).

Again, you can check out all the gear and great sources for it (mostly WAHMs like myself) here on my Elimination Communication Gear page.

Thanks for the questions, ladies!Watch the Video Version If you want to watch the recording of today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

What’s your biggest cold-weather EC struggle?
I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on 10/27/20

The post Dressing baby for cold weather pottying appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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You will hear:* The difference between “signals” and “signs” in EC * Why this distinction can feel confusing at first * How to recognize what your baby is actually communicating * Whether you really need to rely on signals to be successful * How to build awareness (even if you feel like you’re missing everything)

Links and other resources mentioned today:* Get my FREE Easy Start Guide * Go Diaper Free book * Tiny Potty Training Book (16mo and up) * Mini Potty * Mini Potty Cozy * Top Hat Potty I usually define an elimination communication signal as the baby doing something that the parent notices and offers the potty around, usually resulting in a catch.

Signals are one of the four roads to potty time based on what I teach, one of the frameworks in my book:

baby's natural timing,
baby signals,
parent's intuition or generic timing (common times when babies need to go), and
transition times like ins and outs.

Baby signals. Often people think, "Well, I can't do EC because my baby doesn't signal at all," but they could be showing signs that they need to go to the bathroom. I do consider signs to be signals. It can get really confusing.

Someone recently mentioned that some signals are actually signs and it got me thinking, so let's define both of those now and talk about whether it matters. I'm going to give you examples of both of them and, most importantly, we're going to talk about how they can help you potty your baby with more success today.

Signs that baby needs to potty - defined

First of all, signs. Your baby shows a sign that they need to go. This is body language, a mood shift, or something that indicates that it's time to potty.

Signals that baby needs to potty - defined

A signal is more looking to you directly and communicating that they need to go to the potty and need help, or looking to you directly while giving an obvious sign. That's a hybrid sign and signal.

Signals are direct communication and signs are things that you notice that are already happening.

Sign examples

As far as signs, here are some examples:

shifting from moving a whole bunch to getting really still
shifting from stillness to moving,
pushing or bearing down - if they're not looking at you and doing it in their own world or swinging on the swing or laying on the ground, and they're just starting to push, that's a sign
squatting when they're a little older
hiding when there are a lot older
moving to the bathroom - walking to the bathroom and going into the bathroom is a sign because they're not actually saying, "Hey, you come with me to the bathroom," which would be more of a signal
touching the mini potty - if it's out in the living room in your play space (I highly recommend doing EC with the potty out in your space), and they go over and they touch it and start to play with it, that can be a sign. (But, if they grab that mini potty and they bring it to you, that's more of a signal. Hopefully that makes sense.)
passing gas - something's going on down there, it's a sign, and if you're paying attention you'll notice it
getting hyperactive, especially with an older toddler
staring blankly into space - that's the opposite of hyperactivity, right? It's like moving to stillness.
another sign can be a smell - "Gosh, I really smell poop” - but you look and there's nothing there. It's not necessarily like they made that smell to signal to you that they need to go; they're not using smell as a communication. I mean, maybe on another level. :)
a phantom pee is also a sign. If you've got your baby in a baby carrier and you're wearing them and you feel like they've wet you or you're carrying them around and you feel like you got soaked but you didn't, it's their bladder warming up and your body feels that in their body. That could be a signal from their body to your body, but not in the direct face-to-face communication style that I'm talking about.

Signals Examples

Signals are more like:

looking to you and signing potty - the T shaking, or patting their chest if that's your signal
pointing to the bathroom, or crawling to the bathroom, while looking at you
pushing down and bearing down while looking at you like, "Hey, hello, you see what's happening here?

There's an attempt at directly communicating with signals.

A lot of parents will give up on EC before they really even start because they don't see any signals. They don't see their child looking directly at them and communicating about it. Usually, they're starting with a mobile baby or a toddler who is on to bigger and better things at this point.

I highly encourage you, if you think that you don't have a child who signals, to also expand your horizons to include the signs above. I have a download of the four roads to potty time*, which basically gives you a list of all the possible signals including signs.

So, is it signs or signals?

I consider all the signs and all the signals I just mentioned plus everything else that I've learned over my five babies and the hundreds of thousands of you as “signals.” I'm going to call them all signals and keep it really simple.

The takeaway is that any sign or signal counts. It's all communication whether it's direct or indirect. It doesn't matter what you call it - don't overthink it.

It's all communication whether it's direct to you, indirect and you're just picking up on it, subtle, intense, verbal, non-verbal - all of it counts as information, like, “I'm going to go potty my baby right now because they're definitely telling me something,”

Babies are always giving signs that they need to pee, sleep, or eat

Some people think their baby doesn't signal but babies are always giving signs. Babies are giving signs about things all the time if you can just learn how to read them, which I can definitely help you inside my book .

Babies will also start to signal directly to you once you pick up on their signs and you start to teach them how to signal.

You can look at episode 47 of this podcast, read it, listen to it, watch the video to teach your baby how to signal.

Episode 27 is about signals, stopping, starting, and changing - when they shift and what to do about it.

Then, episode 80 is “what do you do if you find no signals and no patterns during observation time?” what do you do then?

Doing EC with zero signals

By the way, you can totally do EC with the other three roads to potty time - natural timing, common transition times, and intuition - without any signals ever.

But, what I'm trying to tell you today is that your baby is always giving some sort of sign about their state and their energy and everything else.
Babywearing FTW!

The best way to connect to those is to put your baby in a Beco Gemini baby carrier. The Beco is amazing - you can use it with an absolute newborn with no insert or anything.

Walk around, be with your baby that close for several hours every day, and you will get a lot better in touch with signals and signs - first signs, probably.

Signs eventually turn into signals

Then those signs turn into signals, and then you're looking at each other and when they give you that sign and they pass gas and you look at them and you go, "Hey, do you need to go to the bathroom?"

And then this communication loop starts to form. It's a beautiful thing, I highly recommend it, don't give up. If this is you: "I see no signals!" - that's totally fine.

Hopefully today's episode has helped you a little bit. Definitely watch one of the other three podcast episodes (listed above) to learn even more about signals.

I also have a YouTube video about signals called Signals 101 - definitely look at that video as well and download the PDF so that you can see all the examples of signals and signs.

If anybody ever says, "Well, they're not actually signaling to you because that's just a sign," I say, “It's the same thing, I'll take it.”

Whatever it is - we're going to work with that.

It's good information, we offer the potty. If it works, great, we note that in our head. If it doesn't work, great, we note that in our head - constant learning. EC is a beautiful thing.

Watch the Video Version If you want to watch the recording of today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

Are you noticing more signals or more “signs” right now? Or still figuring it out?
I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on 10/20/20

The post Signs vs. signals in elimination communication appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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This post was originally posted on November 20, 2018, and has been fully updated on May 12, 2026 to include an audio (Podcast) version, a video (YouTube) version, and to include some basic updates. Enjoy! xx Andrea

Listen to the PodcastWatch the Video VersionIf you want to watch me record today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

You Will Hear:* Why separation anxiety disrupts EC routine * Why babies may refuse the potty * How to respond without forcing * Gentle ways to support your baby * Keeping EC flexible during transitions

Links and other resources mentioned today:* Get my FREE Easy Start Guide * Go Diaper Free book * Tiny Potty Training Book (16mo and up) * Mini Potty * Top Hat Potty * 4 Easy Catches - Youtube Playlist Separation anxiety in little babies: the struggle is real! How does it affect elimination communication, and what do we do about baby’s separation anxiety related to potty time?

Today I’m going to answer that specific question from one of our community members:

Q: We used to have a guaranteed catch whenever Unya woke up in the morning or after a long nap, but now she is almost 9 months old and separation anxiety is in full swing. For the past few weeks she often gets upset if we try to put her down on the potty, and then she pees on the floor as soon as one of us picks her up. We’ve tried holding her over the sink so that she’s not separated, but that doesn’t seem to work much better. Any ideas on how to get the morning pee in the potty or the sink instead of on the floor (or on mommy or daddy)? ~Jeremy, Thailand

A: Hey Jeremy! Thanks for asking this question. I can, unfortunately, totally relate to this phenomenon.

Luckily, there are some things you can do to get through this without negatively affecting your EC practice. Here we go….

Continue in-arms where it does workI say this tentatively because I want to stress that this is not a permanent fix…but the first thing you’ll want to try is to continue using the in-arms hold in locations where it still works.

For us, we pottied our son outside (thankfully, in summertime), in-arms, for several weeks during his major separation anxiety period. I’ve also worked with several parents who’ve done the same, as a temporary fix, and it’s worked wonders.

There are many reasons why this probably works as a temp fix. First off, a baby in an indigenous tribe would already be potty independent at 9 months old. That is, he would be crawling off to the ole pottying pit, outdoors, and doing his business solo. No pants in the way, just a loin cloth (if that).

Secondly, the outdoors are the prime distraction for babies. You all know what I mean by this. Mother Nature is always a great “auntie” to turn to when your baby is fussy and there seems like no consolation is possible. The warm sun, soft breeze, animals and plants…they definitely cause relaxation.

However, remembering that this is temporary, realize this pottying choice will have to shift. I think that when the time comes, you’ll know (for example, you’ll say to your wife “If I have to pee him outside one more time, I think I’ll go nuts.”).

Then, transition with confidence (see my podcast episode on transitioning from in-arms pottying to the mini potty).

Hug/hold her onto it (and, beginning discipline)Many a parent have found that, with this newfound ability to resist things in her life, the opportunity for disciplining a child has begun.

What?! you say. Discipline a 9 month old?!

Yes, I know it may sound strange, but in cultures all over the world, including our own Western ones, many families begin disciplining their babies at an early age, and it pays off.

So, with regards to pottying, you can reassure your baby “I’m right here” and hold her on the potty with a hug (if she’s cuddly) or a hand (see below). She may not like it at first, but many babies will eventually relax (which is the goal here) and will release their pee.

Here’s an example of what you might do (from an anonymous parent):

So my 6-mo has decided that he doesn’t really need to sit when he goes potty…. He doesn’t want to pee standing up or anything, he has just become very clingy all of a sudden and wants to hold on to me rather than sit to pee. So I ask him to please sit, telling him the potty is for sitting and placing my hand against his pelvis to encourage him. After a minute of not-really-unhappy resistance on his part, he’ll usually sit and pee. And if he does have to pee, he’ll sit just in time, almost every time (so far), and seem relieved and not stressed anymore. If he continues to resist, I take him off, though, and figure that I misread his signals. Occasionally he will pee after he’s off the potty, but not often. He holds on to me for dear life, as if I’m going to leave him, but I have never left him on the potty — I always hold him, at least his hand. He only does this with pottying. I think I need a potty cozy for the living room potty. I’ve had one on the BR one b/c we use that for early morning times when he’s all warm and sleepy, but I haven’t put one on any of the other potties b/c they’ve never bothered him until now, since it’s been warm. But when I picked him up from it just now, his bottom felt colder than his back. The house is definitely cooler than it was a few days ago.

I thought it might help folks to kind of see my thought process in this problem, to see how I try to figure out what’s going on. Once I get the cozy made, I’ll let you all know whether I’m right in my diagnosis. :)

Note: If your baby simply doesn’t have to go (you’ve misguessed), then don’t force her to stay on the potty. I’m suggesting a gentle, physical encouragement to demonstrate your expectations.

Just remember – it’s totally okay to teach “we sit on the potty when we need to pee.” In fact, it’s your job.

You might need a potty cozyLike the woman above described, she figured the potty seat might be too cold for her son, and that this was making him cling to her.

If you don’t already have one, I suggest trying this as an easy fix for a baby who just won’t relax/is clingy/won’t sit/won’t be held. Here’s more about potty cozies and how to make your own.

Be more matter-of-fact about pottyingTalk less. Sign less.

Do it and move on.

Kinda like changing your baby’s clothes.

Take charge, even.

With confidence.

Have a “diffuse awareness” around pottying (in other words, without embellishment, hyper-focus, or any sign of fear, even if you’re feeling it). Don’t make it the focus of your day.

You’ve got the tools. Use them.

And move on back to what you were just doing! (Which was way more fun that pottying, right?)

Spread out your pottytunities more – offer them less!Your baby is now 9 months old. She no longer pees or poos at the frequency she did when she was a newborn (if she does suddenly return to that frequency at some point, you might want to look into that).

So, you should consciously reduce the number of pottytunities you offer throughout the day.

Some of the separation anxiety could be stemming from her growing desire for independence, and you, at the same time.

So laying off + reducing the # of opps would have a positive effect in this case.

She’s not a newborn anymoreDon’t react to a 9 month old like you do a newborn…in all aspects of parenting.

You don’t have to be the immediate-responder all the time, always on high-alert.

While she’s having her separation anxiety about pottying, and you’re getting creative on how to get her to sit or be held, remember that she’s tougher than she used to be.

“You’re okay. Do this with me and we can move on.” With confidence and reassurance, at the level of a 9 month old, not a newborn.

Offer PrivacyWhen she doesn’t want to be held over the sink and she gets off after you put her down on the potty, you could try the toilet seat reducer.

And then because she’s 9 months old and she could sit very well by now, you can leave the room and pretend that you forgot something and come back in or you can turn your back and ignore her a little while and see if that helps her to feel that privacy that she might be wanting right now - that might come across as separation anxiety - like:

“I really need you but I really actually just need you to leave the room and I don’t know how to tell you that.”Thanks for your question Jeremy!Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

Is your baby going through a clingy phase right now? How is it affecting your potty routine?
I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on 05/12/26

The post Separation Anxiety appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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We had our daughter Isadora on September 24, 2013, at 4:14am. Weighing in at 8lb even and a short 18 3/4" long, she's a beaut! I'm preparing a series of instructions/storytelling on starting EC from birth...so stay tuned for that.

The day before going into labor, I recorded this episode #15 of the Go Diaper Free Podcast: Preparing for EC with a New Baby. Funny how that timing worked out, eh?

Listen to this episode if you are expecting a child and would like to know what to gather, gear- and resource-wise, prior to your birth.

You will hear:* What gear you need to gather such as clothing, diapers, potties, creams, and pads * What you may not know you did not need * What learning resources you will need * The importance of not "winging it" * Your support network (or lack thereof) * Exactly how I prepared for Isadora's arrival, with the intention of ECing from Day 1 * Plus much more...

Links and other resources mentioned today:* my newly-updated supply list (2022 and newer!) - where to find all the most current things mentioned in today's episode * 12 Weeks' Sleep by 12 Weeks Old by Suzy Giordano (audible version is most up-to-date) * The Go Diaper Free private members' area and my book, Go Diaper Free: A Simplified Handbook for Elimination Communication, by Andrea Olson

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: Preparing for EC with a new baby

Read the full written transcriptExpandThis is the Go Diaper Free Podcast with Andrea Olson, session 15 - gettin’ ready for a new baby!

Welcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast, where we're all about

teaching you how to stop changing diapers, starting at birth. And

now your host…she’s planning to do a big dance production on

birth...Andrea Olson.

A QUICK NOTE FROM ANDREA: Hey ya’ll...so I recorded the following episode less than 24 hours before birthing my daughter. Obviously I didn’t know that it would take me a week to get it out there to you, but I’m sure you understand! I had a hard time getting thru the recording with the breathless last days of pregnancy thing...no lung capacity! But I think this episode turned out nicely. Anyway, funny that the episode about preparing for EC with a new baby was recorded about 12 hours before labor began! Let’s just say that I WAS prepared after all. :) Stay tuned for future episodes and blog posts on how exactly to start EC from day #1 with a new baby...my new series inspired by our first week with Isadora...including our exciting birth story. Enjoy this episode and get ready for baby!

Hi there everyone! Welcome to today’s show. Yes, I’m planning a big dance production piece on birth...look for it in the middle of 2014.

Since I’m about to give birth to my second child, I figured this episode would be quite timely. And I know a lot of you are expecting your first, second, or more, babies...so hopefully this session of the Go Diaper Free podcast will help everyone know what they need, and don’t need, to get when preparing to do Elimination Communication with a new baby.

We’re going to talk about gear first, such as clothing, diapers, potties, creams, and pads...and then we’re going to talk about learning resources and your support network. All these things are important to a good EC practice, and you will learn what you specifically need, and don’t need, to gather in preparation for your wee one’s exciting arrival! I’ll use myself and our preparations for Isadora’s arrival as an example throughout this session.

Let’s go….

First of all: gear.

In the process of preparing for a second baby, a lot of my gathering instincts have been directed toward going through second-hand stuff from my first baby, and from friends. I also have a baby registry where I am able to specify exactly what I want people to get for the new baby.

Now, since I didn’t know the sex of my first baby in 2010, I have a lot of neutral colored clothing from his newborn-6 month range. I went ahead and kept those things that will work for a girl and those things that will work for EC. Btw, we did find out the sex this time because my son, Kaiva, was so certain it was going to be a girl that we wanted to confirm so he didn’t feel disappointed should we have had a boy. The clinic offers a DNA test of the mother’s blood at 12 weeks that gives, with 99% accuracy, the sex of the new baby. It was pretty high tech and non-invasive, and I’m happy we found out! So, yes, confirmed it was a girl, so it was easier to collect for EC knowing that, in some ways.

But for your collection purposes, you can gather neutral or gender-oriented clothing that aligns with the following guidelines (and please note that links to find and/or purchase EVERYTHING in this podcast that I mention, gear-wise and resource-wise, will be provided in the show notes for this episode at godiaperfree.com/15):

Choose tiny tshirts and kimono wraps over onesies. Some like to EC with onesies holding in the prefold diaper backup...but I personally find multiple snaps to be a pain in the butt. Many tiny baby tshirts are long enough to keep the belly covered and kimono wrap shirts, in long or short sleeves, are very easy to get on and off of baby. I have about 6 tiny tshirts and kimono tops from my first baby that I’m going to use for Isadora, and I’ve registered for 6 more in the 0-6 month range. We never had a spitup prob with Kaiva so I didn’t really need more than 6! Btw, my registry is at amazon.com. You can add products from any website on the internet, which is cool for those of us who don’t want a babies-r-us-only registry and want to include items from WAHM-run EC stores like EC Wear. I’ll put a link in the show notes so you don’t need to remember any of this!
Use legwarmers and/or long socks underneath pants if you’re in a colder season or climate, or if your house is quite drafty or kept cool. I find that BabyLegs’ legwarmers stay on better if they are layered over long socks like Hank & JoJo’s makes (again, the link to get these rare finds will be in the show notes) - otherwise they tend to slide right off. And tiny socks generally fall off, though I have found some that don’t. Luck of the draw I suppose. So, I have 3 pairs of Rock-a-Thigh Baby long baby socks left from Kaiva, 3 pairs of Hank & JoJo’s long baby socks, one pair of tiny wool baby socks, and one pair of baby legwarmers left (the rest got lost along the way, I suppose!). I’ve registered for 3 more pairs of legwarmers and a set of 6 pairs of tiny baby socks to complete my collection for the legs and feet.
Bottoms-wise, there are several options. You can go super-EC and get chaps to use along with a diaper cover and prefold backup. EC Wear has some lovely ones that I’ll link to in the show notes. This allows quick EC and the use of a back-up, which I will cover in a second. You can also do what I did and get 3 or so pairs of footed, elastic-waisted cotton pants and use them over the diaper back-up. You just grab the sewn-on footies and pull off on your way to the potty. Very very convenient and easy-on, easyoff... which is our goal here. If you’re in a warmer season or climate, you skirt past using bottoms and just use a diaper backup with or without legwarmers or socks. I’m re-using the 3 pairs of footed pants from Kaiva’s babyhood, as they’re all neutral in color, and I’ve registered for 3-6 month sized elastic-topped pants that don’t have feet sewn-in, as they tend to inhibit crawling. Oh, and I also made some soft, liquid-resistant elastic-topped pants from a wonderful book I got - the creative family - from an old cashmere sweater that was collecting dust in the closet. And, in the past I’ve made 3 pairs of split-crotch pants from a pattern I’ll post in the show notes. Geez...one more thing...Marija from EC Wear provided me with a few samples of her split crotch pants that I’ll be testing out on Isadora too. Ok, I swear, that’s all for bottoms, for now! :)
Dresses and nightgowns - if you are having a girl, you can find lots of dresses and nightgowns that will make EC pretty easy as well. I got a couple of long baby nightgowns when Continuum Family was still in business and plan to let Isadora sleep in those, with legwarmers, for easy sleeptime EC. Obviously you can use nightgowns for boys, too. Dresses - I’m not so into them and it is Autumn already, but in the Spring I imagine we’ll stock up on some for that season and the Summertime, and I imagine EC will be made simpler with this option. Also, in most dress sets you get a pair of cloth bloomers that can be used for tiny undies then or in the future - so hang onto those bloomers!
My midwives told me that a newborn baby can’t make his own heat very efficiently yet and they advised that, through a few months old at least, we dress them in one more layer than we, the parents, are dressed, to keep their body heat up. Adding a hat and socks prevents heat from escaping through these notorious areas as well. I have a couple of newborn hats from the last babe, and have made a few knot hats from old tshirts and random cloth scraps through a really cool pattern that I’ll also share in the show notes at godiaperfree.com/15.
As for a diaper back-up, which I’ve mentioned a lot, let’s chat about that really quickly. I do not recommend doing EC without a diaper back-up unless your particular baby does best ECing naked or without a diaper to provide “resistance,” otherwise thought of as an inspiration to signal (like, get this thing off of me so I can pee, please!). I registered for a case of newborn sized Seventh Generation Diapers to get me started because I am not a purist cloth diaperer. With Kaiva I used them til 5 months old...with Isadora it will be less than that. But I find that a lot of the times I used way less than I would have if I didn’t EC, so the guilt factor is minimal for me and the convenience makes up for it. I have 3 Grovia covers left over from Kaiva, and 15 prefolds - 10 are cotton and 6 are nighttime-friendly hemp/cotton blends. The velcro on the Grovia covers is kind of janky at this point, so I went ahead and registered for 3 more. I also registered for another dozen cotton prefolds and need to add a small wool diaper cover for nighttime to that registry. I have one left over from Kaiva but it’s a medium. I also have wool soaker pants left over from Kaiva - which are great when you move to undies at night. Anyway, gather what diaper back-up you feel most confident or optimistic about.
Tiny underwear-wise...I didn’t find it necessary to gather that much for a newborn because I personally didn’t use undies til 9 months with K. But I did find his and set them aside for use in the future. I collected some while in Thailand and primarily used the Gerber 100% cotton training pants as undies at 9+ months with him. I have about a dozen of the latter and 9 of the Thai undies, which were plenty.
Wipes-wise, I have 20 cloth Thirsties wipes left over from Kaiva, which are indispensable. I would rinse his bum in the sink and blot dry with these after rinsing post-poo. I also used the former version of Seventh Generation’s disposable wipes (complete with wipe warmer) if need in those special crevices and any missed poops or skid mark remnants on his bum. Luckily, Amazon has re-listed the old version of these wipes - the new ones suck. Note: always dry the areas you’ve wiped with a wet wipe after wiping...it will reduce the likelihood of diaper rash.
Now let’s talk about creams and pads. I registered for Earth Mama Angel Baby Bottom Balm - just one jar lasted me 18 months last time. This stuff is GREAT. After wiping and cleaning any red areas, I put it on him and his skin loved it. It’s also great for later on when your baby is a young toddler and bonking his head and body a lot…excellent wound control.
Pad-wise, I still have the 4 or 5 Thirsties plastic-backed cotton changing pads that I used with Kaiva. After 100’s of washes, they are still in great condition. I used these to potty him over at night and when the EC hold didn’t work for us.
Ok, so gathering potties this time around - I still have my tophat potty or potty bowl from Kaiva’s days, and the cozy that went on top. Indispensable for pottying in the parked car and for pottying while breastfeeding, at night, whenever. I also still have my bEcoPotty, the biodegradable potty, and the cozy for that...excellent for when Isadora begins holding her head up on her own and I can start sitting her on the potty facing me. Between these I’m covered. You can also go without and simply use the toilet and/or sink.

Which brings me to an important point - you don’t necessarily NEED all this special gear. Get creative and use what you’ve got, re-use stuff from your house or your friends, be open to doing it your own way, k?! :)

Now let’s chat about learning resources and your support network.

Let me start by saying this: Regardless of what learning and support resources you choose, this is what I want you to take away from this part of this episode on starting with a new baby: find a clear starting point, educate yourself, and commit to starting at whatever level is comfortable for you (part-time or fulltime, day only, day and night...once a day, whatever it is). And then find a private community that can provide you with support for something that most people aren’t comfortable or familiar enough with to really help.

Now for my recommendations:

Most of you know that I wrote a book on the topic of making EC simpler for folks...and the most recent version of that book, 3.0) has been awesomely pruned and transformed into the learning materials section of the GoDiaperFree.com Program, which is due out this winter (if it’s not already live by the time you listen to this episode!). I’ve filtered everything out there on the topic, made it super-easy to learn and troubleshoot, and then added what we’ve learned on our private EC forum over the last 2 years. It is absolutely the easiest and most relevant way to learn, start, and troubleshoot EC with any age baby, and definitely covers practicing all aspects of EC from the newborn age.

So, as far as learning resources go, I am a bit biased. When I was pregnant I NEEDED help and couldn’t quite piece it together from books and forums and groups myself. So, I created my learning tools. And you can get them at godiaperfree.com and avoid the scrambling I had to do in the early months of having my baby. Check that out and email me if you have questions about it.

Go Diaper Free also contains a built-in support network, which you’re gonna need if you’re practicing EC and, like most of us, do not know more than 1 or 2 other parents who even know what EC is. We have a lively community of worldwide ECing parents who offer support to one another, and I’m on there answering questions weekly as well.

I highly advise against getting all your EC learning and troubleshooting done via a Facebook group. Yes, they are free, but you are gonna get overwhelmed with the number of responses, and there is not mentorship or moderation that will protect you from being suggested things that don’t really work for everyone. Trust me on this one. I get those folks on my forum after they’ve tried for months to wing it and things completely backfire.

So, to reiterate my point again: Regardless of what learning and support resources you choose, the point I’m trying to make is: find a clear starting point, educate yourself, and commit to starting at whatever level is comfortable for you (part-time or fulltime, day only, day and night...once a day, whatever it is). And then find a private community that can provide you with support for something that most people aren’t comfortable or familiar enough with to really help.

Whatever you do, don’t wing it. There are things you do at the start of an EC practice that will either blossom later on or hinder your progress. I want to set you up for success, so come join us if you feel called.

So, that’s it for preparing for EC with a new baby! I definitely feel prepared for Isadora’s arrival. I’ve decided to go for 50/50 pees and 100% poops, and to limit nighttime EC because I’m going to try cry-free sleep teaching early-on. I will definitely share more about marrying nighttime EC and sleep teaching in a later episode as I learn more….it’s something many of you have expressed interest in!

Meanwhile, gear and resource -wise, I do feel prepared and I hope that this episode has helped prepare you as well. If I’ve missed anything essential, please share with us all in a blog comment on this episode’s post at godiaperfree.com/15 - which is also where you will find up-to-date links for every single resource and piece of gear that I’ve mentioned in this episode (and the best places to find these sometimes rare items). That should get you started!

Good luck and please let us all know how it’s going via the blog, the Facebook page, or within the safe walls of our private EC learning community at godiaperfree.com.

Til next time, happy pottying. :)

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

Have I missed anything? Shout out any essentials I might not have mentioned about preparing for EC with a new baby in the comments below.
I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on July 14, 2014

Resource RecommendationBaby Meets Potty: A deep dive into how to start EC with your newborn baby

The post Preparing for EC with a newborn appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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This week's show is Part 4 of 4 of our series "When does baby need to pee?" In past sessions, we've discussed the other 3 Roads to Potty Time:

Baby's Signals
Baby's Natural Timing or Rhythm
Generic or Common Timing

and this is the final piece to the puzzle:

Your Intuition (this sesh!)

I love this episode because it's simple, brief, and to the point. I give lots of examples about what your intuition might look or feel like. And we look at some alternatives for those of you who aren't particularly intuitive by nature. :)

You will hear:* What potty intuition is * Several examples of intuition in action * What to do if you don't have it * How to access intuition via an older child, your husband or partner, or whomever helps you care for your baby * Letting go of the need to be your child's "subject matter expert" * Plus much more...

Links and other resources mentioned today:* EC Simplified: Infant Potty Training Made Easy (version 3.0) by Andrea Olson has been replaced by my new book, Go Diaper Free: A Simplified Handbook for Elimination Communication, by Andrea Olson * My Easy Start Guide

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: When does baby need to pee? Part 4 of 4

Read the full written transcriptExpandThis is the Go Diaper Free Podcast with Andrea Olson, session 14 - time to trust that intuition!

Welcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast, where we're all about teaching you how to stop changing diapers, starting at birth. And now your host…she finally got hitched…Andrea Olson.

Hello everyone. Yep, I finally got hitched, July 27. It was a mountain wedding...beautiful time and I just adore my husband. He is so much fun, and so much like me in all the ways he needs to be in order for us to get along! You know what I mean. :) So, yeah, this episode, we’re gonna talk about intuition, and part of picking a partner in life is based on your intuition, your gut feeling about that person, so that sort of ties in nicely.

This episode of the Go Diaper Free podcast covers the final of 4 ways to know that your baby needs to pee: Intuition. As a reminder, the first 3 were Baby’s Signals, Baby’s Natural Timing or Rhythm, and Generic or Common Timing. This fourth, your own Intuition, completes what I like to teach as “The 4 Roads to Potty Time.” When any of these 4 instances occurs, and you are able and/or willing to offer, you will know it’s a good time to offer the potty to your baby. Without knowledge of one of these 4, or by just using 1 of the four because you don’t know about the others, you’re not going to have as much success. With all 4 in your arsenal, you will have a better, overall handle on knowing when it’s time to use EC, or time to just chill and be with baby or lead your life.

So, let’s discuss intuition so you can understand what this 4th way of knowing is….

What is Intuition?

Sometimes you “just know.”

Women in tribal societies are extremely in touch with their intuition. According to the EC texts I’ve read, indigenous women often potty their babies nonchalantly in mid-conversation or activity. They do it in a matter-of-fact way, often responding to what an outsider might think is “nothing.”

That is intuition in action, and you may have it too! Some people are able to pick up on and act timely upon their intuitive hunches. Some simply aren’t wired that way.

What It Might Be Like…

Notice your thoughts and your misses and catches. See if the thoughts, feelings, hunches, sensations, and perhaps even visuals preceding the pee/poo correspond to your baby actually going. You might be more intuitive than you guessed.

Do you have a funny feeling that baby may need to go (or can’t possibly need to go again)? Does the word “pee” or “poo” cross your mind? Are you imagining baby needing to pee? Do you suddenly have to pee yourself? Some people swear they smell pee or poo before it comes out; others have a vivid thought or insistence inside and are “sure” baby needs to go. I sometimes have dreams that the baby needs to pee, and wake up to find that he needs to go. Notice your intuition and listen to it.

If You Don’t Have It

Sadly, intuition in the Western world is a buried, lost art in many cases. But luckily, as a culture, we are rediscovering this inner guidance system and beginning to trust it once again.

If you don’t feel or think any of the above intuitive thoughts or feelings, don’t fret! Just rely on Signals and Timing and you’ll be fine. Not everyone has potty intuition (sometimes it doesn’t appear until the second baby!). You may or may not have it. It’s all good, either way.

Older Children Might

If you have other children, they tend to be hyper-intuitive. Listen to their intuitions as well and invite them to share a hunch that baby may need to potty.

Advice from a Sage

This is from a woman on the EC Yahoo! Group: “Always act on sudden random potty thoughts immediately (you are usually picking up on subconscious signals).”

Now I love this. It’s the sudden random potty thoughts. It’s not the ones that you’re just thinking about pottying all day long, and you’re kind of obsessing about it. We all do that, so if you’re guilty of that don’t feel bad. But, you do need to learn how to distinguish between the two. A sudden random potty thought is probably more intuitive than a “oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, does she need to go?” sort of persistent paranoid thought. So there’s a distinction between the two of those. And that’s really it.

Oh, the other thing I really wanted to mention was husbands, since we started off with getting hitched and all that. If you have a partner, a husband, a domestic partner, parent you live with and coparent with, or one of your parents, whoever is helping you raise your baby - your daycare attendance, live-in nanny, whoever it is - one of these people might have better intuition than you do around pottying. So, be open to that. Especially those of you with husbands out there.

I know a lot of times - and maybe you’re the husband listening to this and this resonates for you - but a lot of times new mothers, especially, really want to do it all themselves, and they become really territorial (I know I was)...you really want to be on top of everything and be the know-it-all, the subject matter expert about your own baby.

But the thing that we don’t really realize is that our husbands have an incredible amount of intuition as well, and if given the chance to be a part of this EC process, which I fully encourage all the husbands out there to participate - you might find that your husband has a way better intuition about pottying than you do...sort of a sixth sense kind of a thing.

So, be open to that. Be open to your daycare worker, even your mother, your mother-in-law, and their intuition around pottying. And if somebody in the room has an intuition about it, and they live with you or they’re there a lot, give them permission to take and potty your baby when they feel that intuition, that intuitive urge.

And that’s all I have to say about this. This is a pretty short episode here. You can get the show notes for this episode at godiaperfree.com/14.

Now I’m gonna tell you what’s coming up next week. This is super-exciting. I am preparing to have my baby, so I am going to do an episode for #15 that is called Preparing for EC with a New Baby - I’ll tell you how to gear up.

So stay tuned for that next week. If you want to be alerted when that episode comes out, because it’s not - especially if I have the baby before that episode airs - it’s not necessarily exactly every week that I air a new episode, but I try to make it weekly. So, make it easy on yourself and go to iTunes and subscribe to the podcast...that way you’ll never miss a show. You can do that by going to godiaperfree.com/itunes, and just clicking subscribe and going through that whole process. And I think it can automatically update to your iPhone and all the things like that. So, if you’re tech savvy or if you’re not, look into that. Email me if you have any questions - andrea@godiaperfree.com - and if there’s something that you’d like to hear on this podcast, email that to me as well.

And, until next time, have a wonderful time pottying your baby. Take care.

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

Have you ever had a funny feeling your baby needed to pee and found that you were right?
I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on June 9, 2014

Resource RecommendationPotty Time Master is my minicourse about the "when" behind pottying your baby.

The post Parent’s Intuition: Part 4 of when does my baby need to pee and the final of four ways to know it’s time to go appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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As I've said many times before, it's so important to understand all 4 of what I call "Roads to Potty Time." This episode covers the 3rd way to know it's time to offer the potty to your baby.

Generic (or common) Timing.

Most babies hold their pee in various situations, so pottying them before or after these events is usually successful. These are common times that most babies usually need to pee.

And it's also important to use generic timing to balance your own busy life - how do you integrate potty time into your shopping, visits, classes, events, and daily rhythms like showering, cooking, and bathing?

This session answers all those questions and more.

You will hear:* Why generic timing is awesome...and how it can be overdone and lead to resistance and potty pauses * Will your baby really hold it where he's supposed to? * Will your baby pee while she's in your arms? * The top 6 times to offer the potty to your baby * How to integrate pottying into a convenient day-to-day schedule * A bunch of great examples of what it looks like to practice Elimination Communication by common, or generic, timing * How to blend the use of generic timing with your baby's natural timing and NOT cause a rebellion! * Plus much more...

Links and other resources mentioned today:* Moby Wrap - my top suggestion for tiny babies and great back support for long walks * EC Simplified: Infant Potty Training Made Easy (version 3.0) by Andrea Olson has been replaced by my new book, Go Diaper Free: A Simplified Handbook for Elimination Communication, by Andrea Olson * My Easy Start Guide

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: When does baby need to pee? (Part 3 of 4)

Read the full written transcriptExpandThis is the Go Diaper Free Podcast with Andrea Olson, session 12 - time to go generic!

Welcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast, where we're all about teaching you how to stop changing diapers, starting at birth. And now your host…she baby-wore her grumpy newborn for the first 5 months straight…Andrea Olson.

Yeah, and you know, thinking back, it really was a great way to shed all that baby weight I’d gained...I think it was like 45 pounds in 6 months. Crazy. My Moby Wrap was my best friend in those early, desperate months of fussypants little boy. I wrote about this in my Finding Balance with Attachment Parenting book...I think I was a little bit out of balance. 5 months straight is a little intense, especially given that I don’t have the best back!

Blah blah blah, I’m just rambling on now!

This is Andrea, and I’m 34 weeks pregnant this week, and this is session 12 of the Go Diaper Free podcast.

Today we’re going to continue forth with Part 3 of a 4 Part series on “When does baby need to pee?” As I’ve mentioned in past episodes, it is very, very important to have a full arsenal of knowledge in this area. I call them The 4 Roads to Potty Time and you can learn more about them, in-depth, in the Go Diaper Free learning tools at godiaperfree.com. To recap for ya, in session 8 we covered Part 1 - Baby’s Signals - and we found out that sometimes we can detect those signals, and sometimes they’re just too darn subtle. In session 10 we learned Part 2 - Baby’s Natural Timing - and we found out that, through naked diaperfree observation time, we could learn our babies’ natural rhythms and can offer pottytunities based on their unique timing.

Which brings us to today…Part 3. Today we’re covering what I call “Generic Timing.” In other words, common times that most babies either have to pee or might pee if given the opportunity. I’ll give specific examples towards the end of this show, so please sit back, relax, and have a listen!

Let’s dive in.

What is Generic Timing?

In addition to your baby’s unique Natural Timing (her own elimination patterns), there’s something called Generic Timing.

Generic Timing just means that the majority of babies have to go at certain times throughout the day. This usually occurs before or after an event during which baby naturally holds it (like being in a sling, a carseat, in your arms, or asleep).* It also could be a time when you find it convenient to potty your child (like when you get to a store, or prior to gymnastics playtime).

In EC lingo, Generic Timing is fondly known as a “Pottytunity.”

But, this beckons the question I often get from our community members: “Will my baby really hold it where he’s supposed to?”

As babies get older some will have a miss in the carseat or high chair because they are used to “sitting” on the potty, and after a few minutes sitting there, it feels like time to release. Many babies, however, will never miss in these places because they associate the carseat or high chair with a place that’s meant to stay unspoiled. It just depends on the baby.

Which always brings a 2nd question:

“Will my baby pee while she’s in my arms?”

If baby’s in your arms, the majority of the time she will not pee on you. That said, ECers (including tribal mamas) all over the world sometimes get peed on while holding a baby. It happens when the signal is missed or ignored…usually it’s just too subtle or we’re just too darn busy...or perhaps baby is so relaxed or entranced that she just doesn’t give one at all. She might even be experimenting….

If you do get peed on…what do you do?

Calmly move the baby to the other side of your body without negatively reacting. You could choose to reflect, matter-of-factly, “You just peed on me,” or say nothing. Remain calm, neutral, and unmoved. Making a big deal out of it will just upset the both of you. Learn what you can from what just happened. Offer a pottytunity after a miss if you think there might be more.

Get to know these common times to offer a pottytunity. If you try at one of the times listed below, you are likely to make a catch (especially first thing in the morning!).

So, now it’s time to share with you some examples of Generic Timing: Common Times that Babies Need to Go….

upon waking from sleep
during a diaper change
before or after a bath
after a miss, as baby’s bladder may not have fully emptied
after taking baby out of anything she’s been in for a while (carseat, stroller, baby carrier/sling, jumper, sitting aid toy, or high chair)
before putting baby into anything she’ll be in for a while (carseat, stroller, baby carrier/sling, jumper, sitting aid toy, or high chair)

And here are some other pottytunities of note...kind of a zoomed out picture of when to offer the potty when it’s convenient to your daily routine:

offer potty before leaving anywhere
offer potty upon arriving anywhere

I always like to potty the baby first thing when entering a store so we can relax and enjoy our shopping experience without being interrupted by a signal (or wet pants!).

I also make it a habit to potty the baby before leaving a friend’s house or leaving anywhere, really, if I know it’ll be a while past his usual natural timing before we get home and out of the car.

In fact, I like to potty myself at these generic times, too, especially since I’m pregnant and peeing all the time, because it makes for a more convenient day.

All this said, please note that as your baby gets older, he may not want to have the potty offered quite as often as all this suggests. You kind of have to blend your knowledge of his natural timing and rhythm WITH these generic opportunities and find a balance between them.

For instance, you arrive at a store and potty the baby first. You skip the pottytunity before getting into the car because you live 5 minutes away, it’s been 30 minutes since you offered the potty upon arrival, and your baby is known to hold it for up to an hour at a time, leaving you copious amounts of time to unload baby and car and make it to that next pottytunity...at home. If you tried now you might just be bothering him...plus you’ve now got a cart full of groceries...not super-convenient to potty in the grocery store bathroom with a full cart!

Anywho, that’s it for today’s topic. It’s pretty simple, really. Just remember to not become potty-centered or over-offer...this way of being actually causes about 95% of all potty pauses and EC resistance. We will cover these in a later episode, coming pretty soon.

If you have any other thoughts of what generic times work for you, please leave a comment over on the blog where you can also find the show notes: godiaperfree.com/12.

And, please leave me a review on iTunes at godiaperfree.com/ itunes - it seriously helps more people become aware of EC, the more reviews we’ve got. Just a little iTunes trivia for you - and the reviews so far have been inspiring and a delight to read! Thank you to those who’ve left them!

Now, next week we’re going to feature our first interview on this podcast - I’ll be chatting with my good friend Jamie Glowacki about potty training babies 18 months and older without coercion or silly gimmicks. If you want to get a jump start on what she has to offer, I do sell her book at godiaperfree.com/pottytraining - and it is seriously awesome - an average of 7 days to completion for 18 months and older. We will also be talking about how her knowledge of potty training has been influencing the way we learn EC over at godiaperfree.com.

Thanks for listening, have a great week, and I’ll see ya then!

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

What generic pottytunities do you use with your baby, and how have they worked for you so far?
I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on May 12, 2014

Resource RecommendationPotty Time Master is my minicourse about the "when" behind pottying your baby.

The post Transition Times: Part 3 of when does my baby need to pee – yet another of the four ways to know it’s time to go appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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Sometimes we just need to share our stories! Today I share my entire EC journey with my son, Kaiva, from beginning to end.

Since Kaiva turned 3 years old, I thought it must be a good time to share our whole infant potty training story, beginning to end.

I hope that my journey ECing Kaiva informs your EC practice or helps you in some way.

You will hear:* How I first learned about EC...and thought it weird but interesting * Starting EC * Disposable diapers vs. cloth diapers * Bumps in the road - crawling, walking, moving house several times, nighttime pottying, etc. * How I started writing my book, EC Simplified: Infant Potty Training Made Easy (EC Simplified: Infant Potty Training Made Easy (version 3.0) by Andrea Olson has been replaced by my new book, Go Diaper Free: A Simplified Handbook for Elimination Communication, by Andrea Olson) * Traveling internationally and doing EC * Doing EC all by your lonesome * EC Completion - daytime and nighttime * Issues with potty trained toddlers * EC for co-parents in two separate households * Preparing your toddler for ECing a new baby * Plus much more...

Links and other resources mentioned today:* The Continuum Concept by Jean Liedloff * DiaperFreeBaby.org * The Diaper Free Baby by Christine Gross-Loh * Baby Gift Registry * Seventh Generation Disposable Diapers * Cloth baby wipes by Thirsties * Berkeley Yoga Center (prenatal and mama-baby yoga classes led by Mel Green) * EC Simplified: Infant Potty Training Made Easy (version 3.0) by Andrea Olson has been replaced by my new book, Go Diaper Free: A Simplified Handbook for Elimination Communication, by Andrea Olson * My Easy Start Guide

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: My ec story

Read the full written transcriptExpandWelcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast with Andrea Olson, session 11 - it’s story time!

Welcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast, where we're all about teaching you how to stop changing diapers, starting at birth. And now your host...she breastfed for 23 and 1/2 months, Andrea Olson.

I did, yes. It was quite a feat. Anyone of you who have done extended breastfeeding know how much of a mixed bag it can be. It’s wonderful, and it’s hard, and sometimes there’s ambivalence, and sometimes it’s just the most wonderful thing because you can solve any pain by breastfeeding.

So Kaiva and I had a wonderful breastfeeding relationship for almost 2 years. And then when I decided I just couldn’t do it anymore, and he was feeling it, and he was nursing more because of it, I actually decided to wean him. I did it overnight and I share that story in my Finding Balance with Attachment Parenting book. The link for that will be in the show notes of this show if you’d like to check that out.

But it was really cool. There were no tears on either side. Now, expecting the new baby, we’re talking about how the “nanas” are gonna be for the new baby, and it’s kind of nice to not have to worry about breastfeeding 2 people at once. But I do really respect those who do. It’s a wonderful thing - breastmilk - if you can do it.

This episode is not about breastfeeding. :) This is actually storytime, Session 11. We are going to talk about my EC journey with Kaiva, my first son, and then probably in another year, we’ll talk about my EC journey with my new daughter, Isadora who will be born... let’s see, I’m 33 weeks pregnant so she’ll be born sometime within the next 2 months.

I wanted to share Kaiva’s story, or my story with Kaiva, because I feel like it’s so important to share our stories, first of all, and secondly, I think that there are some things that I could teach or people could learn from what my experience with him was. Thirdly, it’s just fun to have story time every once in a while.

So next week, we will be talking about Part 3 of 4 of how to know when your baby needs to pee. But for this week, sit back and relax and enjoy my story.

In the beginning...I heard about EC years and years before conceiving Kaiva...it was about 5 years before I found out I was pregnant. I heard that a friend of a friend pottied their baby in the sink and didn’t use diapers at all. And I thought, “Oh my god, that is so weird.” But I lived in Marin County, California, near San Francisco, so it wasn’t all that weird. And I thought, well, actually, it kinda makes sense and I’m gonna bookmark that for later and someday, when I have babies of my own, I’m gonna look into that and do the same thing because, yeah, diapers haven’t been used for all of eternity, so what did they do before, and how did my friends do this, and there’s something about communication there... that sounds pretty cool. So that was the very, very beginning.

Then I found out I was pregnant with Kaiva in 2009, and I started to read up pre-birth about a lot of things. I was really sick for about the first 6 months. I had horrible morning sickness. I couldn’t actually throw up so I was just sort of nauseous all the time, and I don’t really take the hormones of pregnancy very, very well. I tried things to balance it but it just didn’t work out, so I spent a lot of time reading in my bed. I read the whole Harry Potter series. I read the Golden Compass series.

And then I started getting into parenting books.

I started reading The Continuum Concept, which I just loved. I got a copy of Christine Gross-Loh’s book, The Diaper Free Baby, and I began to read up. I actually registered for that - my gift registry was on Amazon.com so I could register for whatever I wanted. I wanted that book because I heard from DiaperFreeBaby.org, actually, that it’s a really good resource to learn how to do EC. So I read the whole book cover to cover. I really loved all the testimonials that showed that people were doing it and are doing it and got a lot out of it.

I still wasn’t very clear on how to start. I wanted to start at birth and I couldn’t quite grasp the concept... maybe because I had placenta-brain. You know, when you’re pregnant and you kind of forget how to... well, you forget a lot of things, like I am right now.

So I started to try to conceptualize it. What I always have done in my whole life is kind of categorize things that I am learning about. I do a lot of outlining when I’m in classes, and things like that. So in my own mind, I was sort of outlining her book. What does this look like to start?

So when my son was born - I had a home birth in Berkeley. Seventeen hours after I started labor, I had this beautiful little boy. I didn’t know I was having a boy so it was a surprise. We were both exhausted so we just fell right to sleep right away.

The next day, he had his first meconium poo. Now I had his bottom all olive oil-ed up ready to go, just in case he was wearing a diaper when it happened. He actually started to make some grunting noises and looked like he was in a lot of pain, kind of contorting. His father and I made eye contact and sort of both intuitively knew “Grab the potty.” He grabbed the potty, put it right underneath Kaiva, and I was holding Kaiva in the air and he started pooping. We caught the meconium in the potty, which was a real pain to get out of the potty, so I can’t even imagine how, had it been stuck in a diaper, how nasty it would have been. That was our first experience with EC.

With that much success the very beginning, I was definitely inspired, so I had a 2-week period of naked observation time. I bruised my tailbone in the birth. His hand sort of presented with his head so I had a lot to push through. I pushed for 4 hours; if any of you have had any kind of injury during childbirth, you know how painful it is to recover. So I decided to take it easy on starting EC with Kaiva. For 2 weeks, I did naked observation. I was really hot in Berkeley so we were naked all the time anyway and I was sweating off like 20 pounds a day of baby weight!

I decided early on, since he peed so often, that I would just go for every other pee and try to get all the poops. We had a lot of what I call “sharts” - that’s the fart that’s juicy. A lot of his diapers were actually not used for anything other than a skid-mark.

I had a really hard time starting with cloth. It was impossible for me to figure out how to fit it on the baby with a Snappi, with a cover, and with all that other stuff. So I admittedly used disposables for the first 5 months. I used Seventh Generation. I tried the compostable ones that my cloth diaper service had and it just wouldn’t work. So for the first couple of weeks, I went on and off between cloth and disposable, then I just switched to disposable full-time for the first 5 months.

Now, the reason I did this was because I would dry his areas very, very, very well with a cloth wipe after every change or every pee or every poo in a sink. So I actually avoided diaper rash altogether by keeping him dry.

Now, I went to my first DiaperFreeBaby group (from the East Bay group) when Kaiva was about 3 months old. What I found there was that I wasn’t really getting any kind of instruction. Nobody really knew what they were doing. They were all going off of intuition, which was great. There were toddlers running around acting crazy, everybody with their babies and the baby is crying and everything in the living room, and it was chaotic. It was absolutely chaotic. We got socialization, which was great, but I didn’t really take anything from it as far as how to do something. So I started to think “Well, maybe I should become a mentor.”

So I became a DiaperFreeBaby Mentor so that I could hold groups in the area as well, and I did. I started one, and it was wonderful, and we shared resources. It was really directed at teaching instead of just socializing.

I also started writing my book at this time. I went to Mommy Yoga a couple of times a week at Berkeley Yoga Center and I decided to make a pamphlet on EC because everybody was asking me why did I keep taking my baby out of the room. Well, I was taking him to pee...and they wanted to know how they could do that with their own babies. So I started to outline what is now my book, EC Simplified: Infant Potty Training Made Easy, which I published in 2011 as an ebook. I wanted to do a 5-page pamphlet; it turned into 183 pages, and it turned into a 25-Video Library. Also, I decided from my experience of leading the group, the people needed access to a mentor who would give directive advice and really help people and hold their hand, so I also decided to create my Forum. That is still available today at the GoDiaperFree.com community. It is a really big resource for people who don’t necessarily just need to socialize about EC on Facebook, but really need some genuine guidance and handholding in the practice.

Then we got mold in our apartment and we started moving a whole bunch and it was really hard. But we still kept doing EC during all the moving and everything.

There was one week of poop during the crawling. Kaiva started crawling and he was eating solids and I had to really figure out what his signals were again. So I wore him for a week in the carrier while inside until I caught that poop. He would signal much more loudly in the carrier. And then I also noticed that he would go somewhere and squat down behind a chair and start grunting. So he had a new signal for pooping and I had to rush him off to the potty. We adapted to that but there was a lot of moving and a lot of chaos that definitely affects EC for everybody I know who’s had that.

We made another move. For 6 months, we were in Shasta while I wrote my book and we had caregivers for about 3 months of the time. But during the time when we didn’t, Kaiva got really bored. I noticed when he was really bored, he peed a lot. He would also start signaling by knocking on the door and wanting to go out on the porch to go to the bathroom, which we let him do. We did a lot of outdoor pottying at this time.

Looking back, I probably would have encouraged the potty more, but it was just so easy and it was just mostly me watching him, so it was really hard to be “on it.” It was much easier to have him naked and be able to go outside.

When he started walking at 9 1/2 months, I decided to ditch the daytime diapers because it became too hard to change him anymore. This resulted in pee everywhere and I was definitely teaching him to pee on the floor.

His father suggested that we start using the Gerber trainers as underwear backup all the time and never have him just naked where he could pee wherever. He would soak through those Gerbers like crazy. It was really hard. It was a difficult time for me trying to keep my cool and be stress-free during all of that. What I realized, though, is having a backup was key, and also paying attention was key, and wearing him during those times when I was busy and couldn’t pay attention was also key.

At nighttime, I took a 2-week pause, a 2-week break from it because it couldn’t get him to potty at night without crying, without having to nurse him while pottying him... it was crazy. I have a wonderful therapist and she said, “You need to take a break.” So I did. And guess what? He started holding it for 7 hours at a time at night. It was awesome.

Then we did a reset. Kaiva and I decided that it just wasn’t working so we took a 2 week break...and this 2 week break was great for me to relieve my stress and to go and sit by myself on a big boulder outside and say, “What do I need to do and I will do it,” like a meditation, a prayer, whatever you wanna call it. It worked. I got good information from myself. I was able to really reset into it and figure out what to do next.

We tried an Oh Crap! Potty Training experiment with Jamie, my potty training friend, and we decided to see if the weekend could work at 13 months. And the weekend did teach him to take himself to the potty more. We also decided it’s time to use the potty full-time, no more holding him in arms. He’s 13 months old; we don’t need to do that anymore.

To briefly wrap up everything else that’s happened since then, the 3 months we spent in Thailand, every time we moved from hotel to hotel or on little plane trips or whatever (on the planes, on the trains, on the boats, everything was fine then)...but once we got to the hotel and settled in, we had lots of misses. After the transit when we’d get settled in, there would be a lot of misses and it was really frustrating for me.

Kaiva began to signal in multiple languages. He would say “hang nam pee pee” and also do the sign when he needed to go. We had the joys of pottying him in various places in Bangkok and across Thailand. We had a lot of diaper-free beach time, which was wonderful.

And then, returning from Thailand...his father and I separated at that time and I spent 2 months in Charlotte with my mother. Our issues then were the stress of doing it all myself and also Kaiva’s boredom. So we tried to integrate a lot of playdates and going out, but honestly, it was really hard. But what I did do was I was able to focus on completion at 17 months. It was clear to me that he was signaling and he was taking himself to the potty more regularly, so I considered that to be completion.

Then I moved to Asheville and my son’s father and I co-parented and co-housed and it affected EC in that we moved again. So anytime we moved, it affected EC for sure. He had some sicknesses here and there. He had teething happening here and there and that all affected EC as well. The main thing in this time period was giving him the tools to do it himself much more easily.

Daycare was really hard. He had a miss every single time he was there. I think it took about 4 months to get used to telling his daycare worker that he needed to go to the bathroom. So that was definitely a challenge.

At 24 months, we stopped co-housing and I moved down the street and I put Kaiva into his own bed and weaned him. This all worked really well for me and for Kaiva because it was clear. So sometimes the gentle move is actually the abrupt move, the one that’s very clear in its direction and doesn’t drag out forever.

Concurrently, he was wearing a cloth backup - his “night-night pants” we called them - a cloth backup at nighttime. And I started to find that he would pee in them early in the morning. So I decided, well, if that’s not there, then maybe he won’t pee in them at all. So I put him in a one-piece footie pajama and it only took one miss in that for him to realize that he needed to hold it all night or let me know that he needed to pee in the middle of the night. So his father and I both worked at that in our own households. At 24 months, he was dry all the way through the night and sleeping through the night for the first time ever, which was awesome.

Now he’s 3 years old. He turned 3 yesterday. His only issue with EC now - he never has full on misses anymore at all and he really hasn’t for the last year - but what he does do is he’s too busy to stop playing and he lets out a little bit of pee to release the pressure and he keeps playing. So by the time he gets to the bathroom or says he needs to go or runs in there or I prompt him, he’s a little bit wet. So we’ve been trying to work on that, but honestly I think its just a developmental issue right now. He does know where to go potty and he does take himself, so this is great.

Other challenges right now are that sometimes when I prompt him to go and tell him, “You need to go before we get in the car,” he says that he doesn’t want to go. I just bring him in there. I put a stool up there so that he could reach the lights and I kind of ignore him while he goes. He’s just asserting his 3-year-old-ness.

Integrating prompts into our day-to-day lives is something that’s key. That’s something that we, in both households, have to do to remind him to go to the bathroom when it works for us, like before getting into the car. So it’s still a generic timing kind of a prompt.

Occasionally, maybe once every 2 months, he wets the bed because he’s in a very, very deep sleep or he’s sick or something else like that, and he feels really bad about it, so of course there’s no punishment associated with it. But he has been doing fine sleeping in his bed without a diaper backup since 24 months.

Another challenge at this age is having two households, and also preparing for a new baby. So, having two households, we have found ways to work together. When he’s having misses, we know that there’s something amiss between our communication as coparents, so for those of you who are in two separate households, it is possible to do EC but you have to work together. For those of you who are in one household, it’s also hard to work together. You have to work together. So there’s some wisdom in there for everybody.

And then, lastly, preparing for the new baby. Kaiva’s very excited to be a big brother and he and I talk a lot about how he’s gonna help me know when she needs to go to the bathroom. And we also talk about how she’s not gonna poop in her diaper like his friend, this kid, or this other friend. He had a lot of friends here in town who were still in diapers at 2 and 3 years old. And he knows that they poop in their diapers. He’s asked questions about it over time and I just say, “Well, you know, when you were a baby, you told me you needed to go. And when Isadora is born, she’s gonna tell us when she needs to go and you can help me take her and show her where to put her pee and poo.”

So it’s a really nice wrap up to our whole process...and that’s our whole story. Three years of EC, or really just 17 active months of EC. Another 7 months of wrapping up the nighttime and a year of just learning how to have a potty-trained child, when to prompt, when to take him, when to know that something’s wrong in life based on any kind of accidents and whatnot.

I hope you’ve enjoyed my story.

I’m a little bit out of breath because I’m pregnant and it’s hard to talk for this long, but you can check out the show notes at http:// godiaperfree.com/11 and everything I’ve mentioned in this episode will be linked to in there, so you don’t have to remember anything. And you can leave your comments there, maybe share some of your story or something in my story that’s helped you. I would love to see you over there.We’ve got great new things happening in our community, so come check us out and, as always, have a wonderful time with your baby until next episode. Take care.

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

Please share part of your elimination communication story in the comments below...or what part of my story has helped you?
I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on April 14, 2014.

The post My elimination communication story (with baby #1) appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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When does your baby need to pee? Four ways exist. Today's episode covers #2: your baby's natural timing.

Every baby has an inherent pottying rhythm; a certain amount of time lapses between feeding and peeing, and between waking and peeing. And between each subsequent potty thereafter.

If you can get acquainted with your baby's natural timing, EC will be that much simpler for you.

Remember that, although it expands over time and circumstance, having this additional knowledge is KEY to success with pottying your baby. Absolutely key.

You will hear:* How to create your own EC tracking log to chart your baby's natural timing * The two best times to begin timing your baby's elimination patterns * Why you shouldn't just randomly time your baby * Where you can download logs to do the charting more easily * Why you shouldn't over-do naked observation time * How doing this 1/2 hour compares to doing it all day long * When to test your baby's potty timing again * Plus much more...

Links and other resources mentioned today:* our community Members' area (with the downloadable logs, which are all included with my book) here on Go Diaper Free * EC Simplified: Infant Potty Training Made Easy (version 3.0) by Andrea Olson has been replaced by my new book, Go Diaper Free. * Get my Easy Start Guide!

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: When does baby need to pee? Part 2 of 4

Read the full written transcriptExpandThis is the Go Diaper Free Podcast with Andrea Olson, session 10 - let’s chat about Rhythms

Welcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast, where we're all about teaching you how to stop changing diapers, starting at birth. And now your host...she’s a quarter Filipino and a little bit Cherokee...Andrea Olson.

How does this woman know so much about me? :) Today’s episode covers part 2 of 4 in our series “When does baby need to pee?” You will remember from episode 8 that the first of my “4 Roads to Potty Time” is your baby’s signals, if any. The 2nd Road is Your baby’s natural timing. In other words, every baby has a rhythm to when they pee and poo. These eliminations occur a certain amount of time after feeding, and a certain amount of time after waking, and then at intervals thereafter. They expand and change over time, depending on a ton of factors. Babies are always changing. So just remember that this natural timing will also shift over time.

Let’s dive right into how to learn more about your baby’s own natural rhythm.

While observing your baby, keep an eye on the clock and see how many minutes it takes for baby to pee or poo after these 2 events only, in this order:

after feeding
after waking

...and how much time passes after that til the next pee/poo, and the next, and the next (called “intervals”).

One way to do this is to keep a log.

Grab a watch, a pencil, and if you’re a member of the GoDiaperFree.com community, download & print your Baby’s Natural Timing Log. If you’re not, simply grab 2 blank pieces of paper, title one feeding and one waking, and make columns on each sheet for pee/or/poo?, amount of time passed, and any notes for each occurrence. Start by timing pees & poos after feeding, recording the intervals in your Log. Then, time pee/poo intervals after baby wakes from sleep. As for the logs on my site, I’ve made one Log where you can chart feeding & waking on the same sheet, and two other Logs if you want to separate the two on different sheets.

Create your own however you like or if you have access to mine, use whichever forms work for you or simply make note of the timing in your mind. Again, start with feeding to observe & record Natural Timing...it’s easier to get the hang of.

At the very least, observe & record during the minimum of 1/2 hour per day of diaper-free observation time, starting with feeding, utilizing the Log. If you can, observe all day long for your baby’s overall patterns and rhythms, always referring to the timing intervals as they follow eating and waking (ie: don’t just start timing randomly!). It is MUCH better if you can do a full day or two of observation when beginning or updating your EC practice...so if you can, do.

And while you do this, please pretend like you aren’t...hovering and hyperfocusing are known causes of potty resistance.

The result of this observation and recording is your baby’s Natural Timing. In other words, you will discover the natural rhythms of his digestive and elimination systems, which vary slightly from baby to baby.

Remember...every baby is different.

As his muscles develop and bladder grows, more time will span between his pees. Baby’s natural timing intervals will expand over time. As he starts solid foods, his bowel movements may lessen (and harden tremendously). As time passes, your awareness of his inner clock will sharpen.

And as he learns that he can depend on you to (at least try to) help him potty, building mutual trust, he will begin to “hold” it and his natural timing will spread out a bit more.

In the beginning months, babies pee ALL the time (and boys do more than girls). It’s wise to remember that the frequency will reduce soon.

So, that’s about it. You can update your practice in a few months by doing more observation time and noting the timing after feeding and waking yet again. Remember that during naked observation time with a mobile baby, I highly recommend transporting your baby to the potty EVERY time she pees or poos in order to model the act of moving toward the potty, and that EVERY pee and poo goes in the potty, if even only a few drops. You don’t want to teach her to pee on the floor. Gather your info, taking as long as it takes to re-assess the new patterns, and then discontinue naked time. Use your backup, be it diaper, undies, or just clothing, and teach the right thing.

Stay tuned for Parts 3 and 4 of this series, coming up in a few weeks. In the meanwhile, please take a moment to leave a review for this podcast on iTunes. You can visit godiaperfree.com/itunes to see the show’s page and leave your thoughts. Thanks for everyone who has left a review thus far - it’s so nice to know that my practical tips and how-to’s are helping real-life parents. Keeps me going. Don’t make me cry now. I’m 32 weeks pregnant and I just might do that.

Visit us at godiaperfree.com if you need some more specific guidance and a succinct guide to starting EC. The show notes for this episode can be found at godiaperfree.com/10.

Til next time - I hope you have a wonderful time raising your baby. And when it isn’t so wonderful, remember, this too shall pass.... :)

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

What is your baby's natural timing right now? Please share in the comments below!
I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on March 10, 2014.

Resource RecommendationPotty Time Master is my minicourse about the "when" behind pottying your baby.

The post Natural Timing: Part 2 of when does my baby need to pee appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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Infant Pottying is somewhat rare in most Western countries. People have strong reactions to what seems odd to them: A baby without diapers? Pottying at that age? Asking to go to the bathroom...at birth?

Mostly, these reactions involve the creation of myths and misperceptions.

I'm going to try to clear up some of these myths, 5 of them, in this Part 1 of a series of episodes about EC myths.

You will hear:* Parent training vs. potty training * Convenience of toilet training vs. EC * How long does EC really take? * Does EC take longer than conventional toilet training? * Can early potty training psychologically damage my child? * Plus much more...

Links and other resources mentioned today:* email Andrea with any myths you've heard that you find interesting * EC Simplified: Infant Potty Training Made Easy (version 3.0) by Andrea Olson has been replaced by my new book, Go Diaper Free: A Simplified Handbook for Elimination Communication, by Andrea Olson * My Easy Start Guide

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: EC Myths + Misconceptions, Part 1

Read the full written transcriptExpandThis is the Go Diaper Free Podcast with Andrea Olson, session 9 - mythology!

Welcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast, where we're all about teaching you how to stop changing diapers, starting at birth. And now your host...she was Captain of her High School dance team...Andrea Olson.

Yes, this is true. I was Captain of the Trinity Troy-Anns in Euless, Texas, which, in Texas, is a pretty big deal! Just another little personal tidbit about me. In today’s session of the Go Diaper Free Podcast we are going to talk about things that are not true...Myths & Misconceptions in the Elimination Communication realm.

Not surprisingly, many people feel cynical when they hear about EC. It’s not what they grew up knowing. Their lack of knowledge or experience leaves them creating myths and spreading them.

You (or your partner/mother/friends) may not have heard much about EC, if anything. Reactions may include: There’s so much new stuff to learn with a new baby that why would you want to complicate things further? A baby using a toilet? Miniature-sized training pants? Babies wear diapers. We don’t live in the wilderness. Etcetera. Comments come from those far and wide.

There are indeed some rumors runnin’ round town about EC that I’d like to dispel. After each Myth you’ll find the clear truth about EC. We will cover about 5 of them in this first episode of a series about EC Myths.

I (the parent) will be trained by my baby, not the other way around.

If you’ve chosen to have a baby, you’re pretty much going to have to provide what your baby needs, 24/7. If any, the training lies in those loud baby cries and is necessary for the propagation of our species.

Just as a parent feeds a baby food because she can’t feed herself, so does a parent potty a baby because she can’t do it herself. If a parent feels “used” or “manipulated” because of this, the parent should seek help. Babies need us. Plain and simple. We gladly provide for them because they are helpless, and because we love them.

If that means we’re trained, then willingly so!

It’s inconvenient.

Potty learning, no matter what age you begin, is just plain inconvenient. Disposable diapers are very convenient yet are proven to delay potty training. Potty training a toddler is extremely inconvenient. Constantly feeding a newborn is inconvenient, too, but every baby needs feeding. Being a responsive parent is certainly not convenient, but it reaps the highest rewards.

Slowing down around life is key in our bustling society...and realizing that nothing about pottying (or having) a baby is convenient. With pottying, it’s just a matter of when you choose to begin.

EC is certainly less convenient in the beginning but results in more convenience earlier than conventional potty training.

I don’t have time.

With EC, taking your baby to the bathroom is generally a quicker process than letting baby pee/poo in her pants and then cleaning that off her skin, tending to any related diaper rash, and replacing a full-on diaper set-up (especially if it’s a cloth diaper with pins and a cover).

EC takes no more time than any full-time diapering method and often takes substantially less time. Also, you don’t have to practice EC 24/7...you can successfully do it part-time (as so many parents do).

EC is definitely more demanding, time- and energy-wise, in the beginning months, but then tapers off over the coming months, often completing sooner than conventional methods.

It will take way longer to potty train my child this way than the conventional way.

Many ECing parents report that potty independence happens years earlier by using EC than by doing conventional potty training. Depending on your definition of what completed potty training looks like, it can range from 6 to 24 months. This is compared to the current average of about 36-38 months for conventional toilet training independence in the US.

However, please keep in mind that finishing potty independence is not the goal of EC...every baby is different and develops at a different pace. This should be respected and an environment of non-coercion, grounded in trusting communication, should be the focus.

It will psychologically damage my baby to start this early.

First of all, Elimination Communication is a natural process from start to finish, taking baby’s hygienic instincts into account. It is not training. Although at times people (and I) refer to EC as “Infant Potty Training,” this is only to suit the needs of conversation - many people get what you’re talking about if you use the more common vernacular.

Regarding potty training, child psychology experts insist that parents will harm their baby’s psyche and cause irreparable emotional damage by potty training early. If you’re talking about “Early Potty Training,” a method which from the early 20th century which incorporated coercion (and anal suppositories), you are correct! If you are talking about doing conventional potty training on a 1- or 3- day boot-camp schedule, you are correct!

However, given that families across the world have been doing this over the course of human history, naturally and non-forcibly, it is unlikely that doing EC will harm your baby in any way. If you follow these instructions and proceed in a gentle way, responding to baby’s natural cues, you will be helping baby’s psychological and emotional well-being, building trust between you...not hindering it.

Per Wikipedia, “Pediatrician T. Berry Brazelton...warns that enforced toilet training can cause serious longterm problems, and that it is the child's decision when to stop wearing diapers, not the parents'.”

I totally agree that “enforced toilet training can cause serious longterm problems,” and EC shines in this light in that it is non- coercive, gentle, and natural. However, I don’t agree with what Brazelton infers next...that it’s the child’s decision when to stop diaper and begin using the toilet. We, as parents, train our children to go against their instinctual aversion to wetness and thus teach them to use the diaper as a potty. They trust that this is where we want them to go, and become confused and resistant when we try to train them out of the diaper habit. (I’d be unhappy too!)

If it were up to babies, they’d have us help them not potty in their pants from day one, as per their instincts.

If they could “decide when to stop wearing diapers,” I guarantee you they would choose to NOT wear them at all!

And quite the contrary, delaying potty training til 3 or 4 years old is what’s damaging to our children! Still living in diapers at 4 years old may reap serious psychological consequences on our children. I’ve heard countless stories of “diaper trauma,” such as one toddler who poos in his diaper then reaches his hand in, grabs the poo, and smears it everywhere. This story came from a daycare worker here in America. There are many more diaper trauma stories where that came from, but I’ll stop there.

The long term psychological effects of wearing your toilet and deeming your private parts “yucky” are somewhat unknown, but being a therapist myself, I can tell you that forcing a child to poo or pee on herself (against her innate instincts) is one of the most confusing, trust-hindering, shame-invoking things one can do to a baby’s psyche.

As a culture, we need to honestly assess this “civilized” practice and realize that just because it’s convenient it doesn’t make it right.

So that brings me to the end of the 5 myths and misconceptions that I’d like to share in this episode of the Go Diaper Free Podcast. You can get the show notes at godiaperfree.com/09.

And if you are curious about EC and how to start...and how to support your practice in the best, most specific, most simplified, dummy-proof form ever, that’s why I created godiaperfree.com.

Come pay us a visit.

Right now, I offer a book. In the future I will be offering a full-on community where you can learn and get support on the website - godiaperfree.com. Please come visit. I’ll teach you everything I know.

Until then, have a wonderful time exploring EC and the other options besides full-time diapering. Take care.

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

What do your most skeptical friends or family members think about EC? Share in the comments!
I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on February 10, 2014.

The post Myths + misconceptions about EC, Part 1: oh, the things people get wrong about EC! appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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Let's dive right into the 4 ways to know that your baby needs to pee. EC is great...if you know what to look for and if you've got some information on-hand about the different ways to know baby has to potty.

More often than not, my readers come to me after so many months of doing EC based on just timing alone (which can and will shift over time), or just signals (which have now disappeared), or just their intuition (which can sometimes turn into paranoia).

Because they didn't have any additional tools, they became stuck in the middle of their early potty training endeavors with no way out of their troubles.

We simply need to learn how to practice EC from a larger repertoire - and these 4 ways are it!

This podcast episode will teach you Part 1 of this 4 part series. This one covers Baby's Signals.

There are countless signals and I give real-life examples, how to figure out what they are, and more.

You will hear:* How to identify your baby's potty signal (or "peepee dance" in an older child) * What to do if your baby doesn't signal * How your baby's signals might progress and develop over the course of doing infant potty training with her * Over 50 of the most common EC signals * What other ways you can tell your baby needs to pee * Plus much more...

Links and other resources mentioned today:* The Go Diaper Free private members' area (comes with my book) * The Go Diaper Free Facebook Page (share your baby's current signal on our wall!) * References to my book, EC Simplified: Infant Potty Training Made Easy (version 3.0), which has been replaced by my new book, Go Diaper Free. * My Easy Start Guide

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: When does baby need to pee? Part 1 of 4

Read the full written transcriptExpandThis is the Go Diaper Free Podcast with Andrea Olson, session 8 - let’s chat about signals

Welcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast, where we're all about teaching you how to stop changing diapers, starting at birth. And now your host...she has a photographic memory...Andrea Olson.

Yep, that’s true. That’s what got me through college, both of them. That photographic memory. Although when I’m pregnant like now, it doesn’t really work like it used to...go figure!

So hi everybody. In this episode of the Go Diaper Free Podcast we are going to look at part 1 of 4 of how to know your baby needs to pee.

Most people figure out these 4 things via by some type of naked diaper-free observation time. Our community has resources to teach you the whole process in depth.

But for this and the 4 episodes of this series, we are going to talk about the 4 Roads to Potty Time, as I affectionately call it. The four things that let you know baby needs to pee. We covered this VERY briefly in episode 6. These 4 events include baby’s signals, baby’s natural timing, generic or common timing, and your intuition.

If you get familiar with all 4, you’ll be doing EC with 90% more resources than the person who attempts to wing it off of random Facebook advice and/or an Internet search.

So, let’s start with baby’s signals.

As you get used to seeing your baby eliminate and cueing along with her, establishing sound association the next step is to notice exactly what happens right before the pee or poo. For the older baby, ages 12-18 months, you’re not going to do sound association. It’s a whole different animal that I cover in-depth on our website. But, signals-wise, you will be looking for your child’s “pee-pee dance” instead of the more common and widespread signals of younger babies.

You can write down whatever signals or peepee dance you notice or you can make note of it in your mind.

Sometimes identifying your baby’s signals is quite natural...you notice or sense a “shift” in the baby’s state (body language, noises, mood) and then, voila!...she pees. Her signals may be very obvious.

Sometimes you may know the signal but the time lapse between signal and pee/poo is so tiny that you think, “How will I ever catch anything?”

No worries. Over time, these time lapses will become longer and longer as the muscles become stronger and the mind develops the proper pottying associations (your consistency, cues, and positioning all contribute to this flow).

Signals are usually easier to identify with pre-poo versus pre-pee. Go ahead and gaze at your little cutie during diaper-free observation and pay attention to the subtle and not-so-subtle signals that may appear.

If Your Baby Doesn’t Signal

Sometimes babies’ signals are super-subtle, or may seem non-existent. You may look and look and find nothing.

Try again after turning off your phone, Facebook, & computer.
Those who don’t signal clearly at first may start signaling when they get older...or vice versa.
It’s sometimes easier to pick up on signals with your 2nd baby than your first (if you did EC with the 1st).
Most babies signal very clearly when in a sling/carrier...try it!
Sometimes you may need to check in over many days to catch the signals. Be patient, open your head, heart, and soul to listening on all the possible levels, and see what happens.
Some babies will only signal when they have a diaper on. How to test it out? Spend some time with your baby in a prefold without a cover, or Sumo-style (I teach specific ways of How to Diaper with EC on my website). Notice what happens right before she soaks it.

If this doesn’t work, your baby just plain doesn’t signal (or you just plain don’t see it because it’s so darn subtle), so rely on timing (natural and generic) and intuition (next pages)...the other 3 Roads to Potty Time. We’ll cover those in future episodes to cover all 4 in-depth.

A Progression of My Baby’s Signals Over Time

Here’s a sampling of my baby’s signals over the months. Your baby’s signals can and will vary.

Newborn

crying, fussiness, wriggling in bed, movement after stillness,

grimacing & grunting for poo

Mobile (for us, 5 months)

all of what we had for Newborn Signals (crying, fussiness, wriggling in bed, movement after stillness, grimacing & grunting for poo) plus crawling to us in bed or on the floor while fussing, wriggling/crawling during sleep, flipping head side to side during sleep, standing up or jumping in carrier

Very Mobile, Standing, First Steps (for us, 7-11 months)

crawling to bathroom or shower (sometimes coming back & signaling to us with a look or sound, then crawling to the bathroom again), standing at & banging on the door to be let outside to pee, banging on toilet, crawling to us and standing up at the back of our legs while ‘talking’ and then crying, saying “wee-wee,” signing by waving his hands, going to a particular ‘poo place’ (to get into a good stand/squat position to push it out) while looking at us and grimacing/grunting, playing with penis (especially with an erection), squatting and getting very silent, blowing raspberries, getting very agitated or hyper (especially when wearing a diaper), jumping in carrier or while standing, crying out suddenly and loudly, picking up mini potty and looking at us, grabbing at or trying to remove his diaper or underwear

Signals at age 12-18 months could include hyperactivity, yelling out, crying, touching or holding the genital area, touching the diaper or undies, pointing or walking toward the bathroom or potty, coming up to you, making eye contact with you, wriggling to get out of the carrier/carseat/stroller/high chair, looking down, getting very still, staring off into space, squatting, grunting, grimacing, hiding behind the couch, or another sudden shift in mood or behavior.

You’ll find an overall list of signals, for all ages, in the members’ area of godiaperfree.com, but for now, know that these are the major signals/peepee dances, for this age range.

Overall List of Types of Baby Signals

Different ways babies tell us they need to pee or poo:

sudden or increased fussiness
cry or scream
shift from stillness to movement
shift from movement to stillness
squirming or wriggling (especially in bed if co-sleeping)
for older ages during sleep, crying out, crawling in bed, talking, or flipping head from side to side
grimace or other concentrated poo face (may look like a smile)
popping off the breast while feeding; difficulty latching
grunting or bearing down (may also be done squatting/ standing)
staring off into the distance
trembling, shaking, hiccuping, yawning, rubbing face or nose, shivering
heavier breathing
“peenie-weenie” - a partial erection that means baby boy needs to go
grabbing at genitals, especially if squatting or looking at you or the bathroom
blowing raspberries (trying to imitate your Cue)
passing gas (may indicate pee, poo, or both)
looking at...pointing at...or crawling to ==> you, the potty, or the bathroom
arching back in or trying to stand in arms (or in carrier...see below)
“phantom pee” (feels warm but baby hasn’t peed)
trying to “escape” the high chair, car seat, your lap, or the baby carrier (by standing, arching, etc.)
trying to remove diaper or grabbing at diaper or underwear
sudden agitation or hyperactivity

Overall List of Babywearing Signals

sudden crying or fussiness
wriggling
feet pushing against you
trying to stand up in the carrier
bouncing
arching out of the carrier
"phantom pee” on either side (feels warm but baby hasn’t peed)

So that’s about it. This is just one of 4 possible ways to know your baby has to go to the bathroom. Again, if there are no signals, that’s actually pretty normal. You can also just listen to all this and see if you’ve missed something...but if you don’t find anything stay tuned for the other 3 ways to know it’s “time” and you’ll be all good.

Thanks for tuning in. Please visit godiaperfree.com/08 for the show notes for this episode.

Stop by the Facebook page at facebook.com/godiaperfree and post what your baby’s signal is right now. If you need help deciphering, post that! It’s always an interesting topic.

Til next time...thanks for listening and learning about EC and we’ll cover more next week!

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

What is your baby’s current signal? Share in the comments!
I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on January 13, 2014

Resource RecommendationPotty Time Master is my minicourse about the "when" behind pottying your baby.

The post Baby Signals: Part 1 of when does my baby need to pee – one of the four ways to know it’s time to go appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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Funny how there are so many little sub-languages out there. This one is sure to entertain...and hopefully will clear up some of the questions in your mind.

What is a miss? What is a pottytunity? What exactly is a peenie-weenie??

One of our community's lovely families has also developed their own personal language - and they call it (ec)bonics. That's toward the end of the podcast and I think you might just like it. :)

This week's episode of our EC podcast covers the vocabulary that most people use when talking about doing EC/infant potty training with their babies.

You will hear:* 15 of the most common terms used in the practice of EC * Tips on what to say and do when you have a miss, misguess, or catch * The real difference between EC, "late start EC," and early potty training * A brand new take on talking about EC * Plus much more...

Links and other resources mentioned today:* References to my book, EC Simplified: Infant Potty Training Made Easy (version 3.0), which has been replaced by my new book, Go Diaper Free * The Go Diaper Free private members' area (comes with my book). * My wildly popular, very effective Tiny Potty Training Book * The Easy Start Guide

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript: EC VOCABULARY + (EC)BONICS

Read the full written transcriptExpandThis is the Go Diaper Free Podcast with Andrea Olson, session 7 - let’s get semantic-al!

Welcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast, where we're all about teaching you how to stop changing diapers, starting at birth. And now your host...she’s finally getting the hang of organic gardening...Andrea Olson.

Yes, I am finally getting it and things are growing! If you need any squash, please come take it off my hands. :) So, this very informative session will get us all speaking the same language here.

As with many unique things, EC has its own native vocabulary.

In this session of the Go Diaper Free Podcast, I’m going to cover 15 of the most common EC terms and then move into something you’ll not want to miss...a little pee language my friends in Hawaii have coined. Stick around for that at the end of this episode!

So, first, here are 15 need-to-know EC Terms, Defined, so we’re all speaking the same language here:

Miss

In conventional Western potty training, if a baby doesn’t go in the potty, it’s called an “accident.”

In EC vocabulary, this changes to a “miss.” Basically, you both have missed the opportunity to potty. It’s not a mistake...nothing bad has happened (as “accident” infers). You just missed the communication coming to you, or missed the timing or signal, or didn’t respond quickly enough. Your baby missed the opportunity to ask to go.

Examples:

“We’ve had several misses this morning because he is peeing every 10 minutes!”

“While I write this book, I ironically have more misses than when I’m not writing about EC.”

What to do? Ask yourself what you’ve learned from this particular experience, forgive yourself (if you’re hard on yourself), and move on with a smile.

Catch

Another EC term is “catch.” If you “catch” a pee or poo that means that you’ve successfully helped your baby go to the bathroom. You’ve “caught” the pee or poo.

Example:

“We caught a big poo first thing this morning!”

This doesn’t imply that EC is about catching...it’s just a term that folks have adopted to explain the opposite of a miss.

Mis-guess

A mis-guess happens when you believe your baby has to pee, take her to the potty, position and cue, and she tells you that she didn’t have to go this time.

Example:

“I thought she had to go but I must have mis-guessed again.”

Mis-guesses are valuable in that they hone your awareness of baby’s actual signals and timing...and they can clue you in to when her patterns are changing.

As with a miss, ask yourself what you’ve learned from the situation, shake it off, and move forward with some new information!

And remember that you didn’t do anything “wrong” by offering potty to a baby who didn’t need to go...you are doing your very best.

Pre-Pee

Sometimes your baby lets a little pee out when she’s trying to hold it while you get her to the potty place. This is called a pre- pee.

If you find her diaper or undies to be wet while you’re en route to the potty place, she may still have to go. Offer her the potty despite the wetness, as this may have just been a pre-pee.

Peenie-weenie

Some people call the erection that a boy gets when he’s about to pee a “peenie-weenie.”

Whatever you call it, it’s true that most boys get a little hard-on right before peeing. Observe a newborn boy and see that it’s a fact (but prepare yourself for a spray!). PS - Some boys also tug on their peenie-weenie prior to peeing.

Pottytunity

Throughout your day you will offer your baby many “opportunities to potty,” otherwise known as “pottytunities.”

Pottytunities can be given based on baby’s Signals, Generic [Common] Timing, your baby’s Natural Timing, and/or Your Intuition.

They can include: upon waking, before a bath, 10 minutes after breastfeeding and then 20 minutes after that, when your baby squirms in bed, when your baby suddenly becomes fussy, when you have a thought that he may need to pee, etc.

Signal

A signal is your baby’s movement, body language, or certain noise that indicates she needs to go potty.

Cue

A cue is the noise you choose to make that tells your baby he can release his bladder and/or bowels. You establish your particular cue during the early days of observation, when you cue along with every pee or poo as it happens.

Prompt Word or Phrase

A prompt word or phrase eventually replaces the cue noise. It’s what you say when it’s time to go potty that you would like for your child to eventually say back to you when she realizes she needs to go. Examples include “potty,” “peepee,” “time to pee,” or “I need to peepee, Mama/Daddy.” When the cue noise seems age-inappropriate or even bothersome to either you or your baby, or baby is starting to be verbal, it’s time to switch from cue noises to prompt words or phrases.

Generic Timing

Generic Timing refers to common times that most babies need to pee or poo. Examples include at a diaper change, upon waking, and when taken out of the carseat.

Natural Timing

In addition to the more generic times that most babies need to go, your baby’s pottying also follows a baby-specific, more personal pattern. Examples of natural timing are that your baby needs to poo every morning at 6am, or that she pees 10 minutes after every feeding.

Intuition

Intuition can take the form of a thought, emotion, physical sensation, hunch, or mental picture that is telling you that your baby needs to potty. Intuition can also take the form of a counterintuitive thought that says, “he can’t possibly need to go again.”

Potty Pause

A potty pause happens when your baby refuses to potty and/or you experience several misses for an expanded period of time, such as 3 days of misses in the midst of a fairly regular, predictable pottying routine.

Visit us at godiaperfree.com for more info on potty pauses. They are more common than I’d like them to be, and 95% of them are caused by over-offering the potty and/or hyperfocusing on EC, two very common mistakes.

Graduation

Some ECers have lessened their use of this term because “communication” is the goal of EC, not “completion,” but you still may hear the term. Graduation means that your baby has completed EC and is now potty independent.

The exact definition for graduation can range from “always tells me she needs to pee and rarely has a miss” to “can take himself to the potty, pull down his pants, and wipe himself when he’s finished.”

You can guess that “graduation” can be a misleading, convoluted concept.

I’ll leave out all the phases and stages of gradhood that I used to toss around. Although the terms may help you gather an identity within this process, they sometimes make you feel defeated, like you’re never going to be done, instead of appreciating exactly where you are.

My take is this: even with conventional toilet training, accidents happen after the child is pretty much “done.” These usually occur during growth spurts, teething, illness, or major family or developmental transitions. These accidents are a form of communication about the overall wellness of a child, believe it or not.

You will know when you’re “graduated”...you won’t have thought about pottying for 4 hours straight and then your child will ask to go, or you’ll prompt him when you see his peepee dance. That’s when you know you’re done. You’ll still be needed for the occasional prompt, and to wipe, and maybe to assist with pants, but otherwise it’ll be pretty clear when this all “clicks” and the hard work is mostly done!

If you, like many ECing parents, need help wrapping up the EC process at 14-18 months, please join the Go Diaper Free Community for more guidance. You can also go straight to my mama friend, Jamie’s, book if you’re at 18 months or over right now, and you’re wanting to graduate - see the show notes for the link if you won’t be able to remember it OR visit godiaperfree.com/pottytraining to grab a copy and get done.

Late Starter (5-12 months)

“Late Starter” is what it’s called when you begin EC with a baby who is 5-12 months old. It is referred to as “late” because the process begins after the first, most opportune window of starting EC (0-4 months) has closed.

I don’t like to call it this anymore because it makes one feel like a loser!

You’re not late. You’re here now. Whatever.

However, if you are starting EC at this age (which most of you are!), please visit us at Go Diaper Free for tips on how to begin.

Early Start Potty Training (12+ months)

The late starters’ EC groups say that beginning potty learning after the age of 12 months should no longer be called “EC” because the child is so developmentally different from a 5-12 month old. The process of potty learning after 12 months is equally different.

Therefore, at 12+ months it’s not called “Late Starter EC” anymore...it’s called “Early Start Potty Training” because you’re starting conventional potty training early.

Hope this doesn’t confuse you. Feel free to call it whatever you like. I do.

But, basically, the time range I’m defining here includes: after your baby is 12 months old but before the usual starting time of conventional potty training, which, as it’s based on the child’s individual “readiness,” varies greatly. Therefore I’ve left the age range for Early Start Potty Training open-ended...as 12+ months.

Oh kay.

I call all of this, ages 5-18 months, “Starting EC Older.”

In any case, the philosophy, principles, and processes of EC shared in this book are applicable to children beyond 12 months old (up to 18 months)...you just may need to modify some obvious details.

Just know that non-coercive, gentle listening and responding can be practiced with every child.

For more information, visit the Go Diaper Free Community and we can help you out.

Now for something a little more fun...what two of my readers from Hawaii have coined (ec)bonics:

Tanya, Coach Selby, and their lovely daughter Quan Yin, have developed a very fun way to talk about things regarding their EC practice. Coach Shelby is a stretching expert who runs a website called stretchexpert.info among other things about staying in shape. They keep their minds in shape by making EC with Quan Yin very, very fun. They are a diverse family who have coined the term (ec)bonics and have been creating a pee vocabulary list of their own:

pee mistic - as in the phrase “pee-mistic with life in the ec world”

pee-dar - keeping the pee radar on and not have a pee-nesia moment:) totally forgetting about pee and than moving into poo-noia and pee-noia...Wow!

pee-tainty - Quan, you sure you don't need to go? :)

pee laxing - as in the sentences: We are pee laxing... that why i can write you right now... we are pee-laxing only for a little while...because we are recovering from pee dundancy ( from offering too many potties)...

Pee-flecting - pee-flection is important to help us catch more pees! (and get peed on less)

And when we get goofy smiles in the mirror as she tinkles, we call that positive peedback.

pee-zaster - When you realize you're missing a pee after a 4am feeding and jump to grab the potty which you forgot to empty at 2am and it spills all over you. Baby kindly stopped peeing when you jumped thinking you were getting her to the potty but resumed peeing on you as the potty and cold pee tumbled to floor. Pee-zaster.

Ahhh...thanks you guys. I bet doing EC in your family is way fun. With my daughter who will be born in October I’m going to shoot for having this type of experience, for sure, and probably use some of these terms in future videos that I post in the Go Diaper Free Community area. More fun to be had!

So that’s it for this episode. You can find the show notes and transcript at godiaperfree.com/07.

Please subscribe to this podcast on iTunes and, if you can squeeze it in, leave me a review! It will help me improve the show and will help others find out about EC for themselves...which is a good, good thing. :)

Next time we are going to look at Part 1 of 4 of a series that covers “How to Know When Your Baby Needs to Pee.” I think we’re ready to dive right in, so I hope to see you there!

Til then, hope you’re having a pee-tastic time with EC!

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

What EC vocabulary do you use with your baby? Share in the comments!
I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on December 9, 2013

The post EC vocabulary and ec(bonics): some terms that will become your new slang appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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Hi! This episode of my podcast on going diaper-free brings us closer to a complete understanding of what EC is...Part 2.

We’ve covered back in episode 2, what EC is in a very small nutshell, and a list of things that EC is not. That got us in the right frame of mind and now we are going to venture forth into a few more details.

In this session I’ll cover some basics that will help you orient yourself towards the big picture of what EC is, including the 4 events that lead to potty time, alternatives to diapering and doing diaper-free time, types of EC and what to expect, and what sort of support is helpful when doing EC.

In future episodes, we will break this down into bite-size chunks that will help you whether you are just starting or have been doing EC for a while now and would like to fill in some blanks. But, for now, this is the second half the orientation bit.

It certainly clears up a bunch of surface-level questions your might have about potty training your baby, so I hope you enjoy listening.

You will hear:* The 4 keys to EC (basically, 4 different things to base your EC practice on) * The range of diapering alternatives * Diaper-free time - naked vs. in clothing, and why it's important * The 3 main types of EC (and why most of us do type #2) * What to expect with EC - completion, dryness, and whatnot * The best ways to find support for your infant potty training issues * Plus much more...

Links and other resources mentioned today:* Book Go Diaper Free * The Go Diaper Free private members' area (comes with my book) * Now available: My Easy Start Guide

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript: What is EC? Part 2

EPISODE 06: What is EC? Part 2ExpandThis is the Go Diaper Free Podcast with Andrea Olson, session 6 - going diaper-free has never been easier!

Welcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast, where we're all about teaching you how to stop changing diapers, starting at birth. And now your host...she’s having a girl this time around...Andrea Olson.

Yes I am - I’ve been saying we’re going to call her Athena but we’ve come up with a new name and it’s Isadora, after Isadora Duncan, the modern dancer from the beginning of the last century.

In this episode of the Go Diaper Free Podcast we are going to continue talking about what EC is. We’ve covered, back in episode 2, what EC is in a very small nutshell, and a list of things that EC is not. That got us in the right frame of mind and now we are going to venture forth into a few more details. In this session I’ll cover some basics that will help you orient yourself towards the big picture of what EC is, including the 4 events that lead to potty time, alternatives to diapering and doing diaper-free time, types of EC and what to expect, and what sort of support is helpful when doing EC. In future episodes, we will break this down into bite-size chunks that will help you whether you are just starting or have been doing EC for a while now and would like to fill in some blanks.

Here goes.

The 4 Keys to Elimination Communication

First off, the 4 Keys to Elimination Communication are basically the 4 events that lead to your baby's potty time:

baby's signals
baby's natural timing
common potty timing
your intuition

Learn how to dip into all 4 and within a month or two EC will become second nature. Focus on only one or two of these and in later months things might backfire.

It is best to familiarize yourself with all four and set a solid foundation!

Alternatives to Diapering and Doing Diaper-free Time

You can do Elimination Communication with or without a diaper
as a "back-up." It's up to you! (Most people do use a diaper back-
up until about 9-14 months, though...and there's a whole slew of
options ranging from commando to tiny underwear to fully-
diapered-whilst-still-communicating.)

Point is, if you choose to do EC and do it with proper guidance and support, you will absolutely reduce the number of diapers you use, and thus positively impact your baby's well-being and the saving of our sacred environment.

And do I need to mention that this means less poop-scraping for you? Pretty cool.

It's important to note that having a "diaper-free" baby actually means having a baby who is "free from an exclusive dependence upon diapers." It doesn't mean having a naked feral baby peeing all over your floor (although if you really want to do this, who am I to stop you?) :) Anyway, a baby who is potty trained while naked is not a potty trained baby. We wear clothing in the Western world.

Carrying on....naked or modified diaper-free time is, indeed, essential during the observation periods at the beginning of your EC practice, and from there on out, diaper-free time can be good for your baby. Many do it 30 minutes a day, before the bath.

But as with everything in EC, you'll want to strike a balance and beware of overdoing naked diaper-free time. Be sure you know what you are teaching/conditioning your child to do. Teaching a babe to pee on the floor is just as bad as teaching her to pee in a diaper, in my opinion. I can help you avoid both of these situations!

We will cover this more in-depth in later episodes, or you can get more info at the Go Diaper Free Community.

Next we’re gonna talk about types of EC and what to expect.

You can do Elimination Communication:

full time
part time (whether working outside the home or not!)
occasionally

No matter how you do it, the key is to be consistent, committed, and have the right attitude. There are ways to do EC with your baby that don't confuse her and that help you maintain your usual family lifestyle. Anyone can do it. And, honestly, most do it part-time.

A Note on Expectations

Although EC is about communication, not completion, you can generally expect a certain level of day/night dryness and potty reliability (ie: done with diapers) by 6-20 months, depending on when you start, how often you practice EC, whether you follow a mentor or program...or get advice piecemeal off the internet, and whether you follow a particular philosophy, such as the one at Go Diaper Free. Winging it usually ends up with a longer time to completion and many more bumps along the way.

Where to Get Support

The world of Elimination Communication is chock-full of supportive community. So much that you could ask a question and get a dozen answers by the end of the day.

The key is to filter those dozen random replies into usable information.

Most suggestions on the email lists, Facebook, parenting forums, and mommie blogs are from firsthand experience. Which is great...but it can also lead you to confusion and overwhelm.

Try implementing a dozen different ideas and I'm not sure that you or your baby will be clear, content, or happy by the end of the day! (Would you?)

That's why I've created the Go Diaper Free Community, which includes our private support forum. It's the only one of its kind in the Infant Potty Training realm...both community- and expert- run. The Forum may help you avoid distraction, overwhelm, and wandering off the path that you're committed to with your baby. It’s a lot safer to give and get advice with a group of people who aren’t open to criticisms of others, or who are all guided by the same basic teachings and principles. That’s what we’re doing over at Go Diaper Free so check us out if this kind of personal, international, private support is something you think might benefit you.

Alright, so that’s about it for what is EC...part 2. In later episodes we will get into details. But for now, I hope you’ve gotten a more clear picture of what EC is and can look like. It truly is (and should be) customizable to your lifestyle, and it’s been proven time and again that with a good starting point between you and your child, things can be very enjoyable and smooth.

To get the show notes for this episode and a transcript, please visit godiaperfree.com/session6. If there’s something you’d like to hear on this podcast, drop me a note at andrea@godiaperfree.com.

Next week tune in for an episode on EC vocabulary - no, this is no normal set of verbs and nouns. We’ve got a special surprise in there from some of our community that I think you’ll get a kick out of! Anyway, having a way to talk about what we’re doing is essential, so hope you’ll join us for the next session.

Thanks so much for tuning in and happy pottying!

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

What does EC look like in your home? Share in the comments!
I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on November 11, 2013

The post What in the world is elimination communication? Part 2: we’ll continue to figure this thing out appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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In this sesh of The Go Diaper Free Podcast, we're going to cover Part-time EC - whether you work outside of the home or are choosing to do EC just part of the time, I'll give you an overview of what doing EC and having a life can look like.

So many folks put off trying or starting EC because they believe you have to be with your child 24/7 to do infant potty training; that you have to do EC 100% full time or not at all.

This simply isn't true.

But me simply stating it isn't true isn't quite enough either, now is it?

So, in this episode of the podcast we're going to explore part-time EC, what it can look like, and how some folks choose to do it. Some keys to the castle, if you will.

If you work outside of your home or you just want to do EC with more balance (ie: not all the freaking time), this is your show. Give 'er a listen!

You will hear: How Andrea embarrasses herself with her EC arrogance (yet again) at toddler gymnastics (I swear the story is applicable to this episode's topic!) * 7 ways to enhance your part-time elimination communication practice * 5 tricks to make anyone's EC practice (part-time or full-time) much more convenient * Practical advice on how to integrate my suggestions with balance* * Plus much more...

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: Doing EC and having a life: Part-Time Elimination Communication explained

Read the full written transcriptExpandThis is the Go Diaper Free Podcast with Andrea Olson, session 5 - let’s get a grip on part-time!

Welcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast, where we're all about teaching you how to stop changing diapers, starting at birth. And now your host...her son was potty independent by 17 months...Andrea Olson.

Indeed. During this 5th episode of the GoDiaperFree Podcast, we’re going to talk about doing EC and having a life. Part-time EC is awesome and I want you to know that exists, that it's the most popular way to do EC, and, I want to give you somewhat of an overview of what it can look like.

This episode is for folks who want to continue EC when you go back to work...and it is also for those of you who, although with your baby full time, choose to EC part-time based on your unique family lifestyle choices. There are so many things to do and learn with a new baby, that you might just want to do EC some of the time. I don’t blame you, and you’re certainly not alone!

A story.

This morning I was at toddler gymnastics for our weekly shaking out of sillies. It is quite fun. I have a 5 months pregnant bump and thus another mother and I begin chatting. She has twin boys who were born 3 years after her daughter. She is commenting that the spacing between my son and my daughter-to-be is just perfect. I am in full agreement. She then says, "there’s many reasons why it’s so perfect....#1, you’ll probably be done with potty training by then."

I try to keep my composure and tree my enthusiasm as I think to myself “my god, does it really take people that long these days...three years??” And I try really really really really hard to come up with an appropriate response. So I say “Oh, we did EC with my son and he was done with diapers at 9 months and finished potty training by 17 months.” Doh. Sounds completely arrogant. But it’s already out there. I am embarrassed of my own arrogance. I really am.

So she replies...”Oh, yeah, that sounds great but don’t you have to be with your baby 24/7 for that to work?” I reply, trying to be more sensitive this time around, with “Oh, no, not at all. Most people do EC part-time. Such as only getting the poops. That’s my favorite reason. I only had to change one week of poopy diapers.” Geez...Andrea...arrogance AGAIN! I really need to practice this conversation. It is all too common.

Luckily, it’s parachute time and we get to disperse and grab a cloth handle and start “making bubbles” for our kids to pop.

I fear that she’ll never speak to me again. She does and we become friends, but at the moment I'm quite embarrassed of myself. :)

BUT...the moral of this story is actually to point out the major misconception that most folks have about EC: that is has to be done 24/7, completely full-time....and it’s this myth that keeps parents from even trying it at all.

So, without further ado, here are some Tips for Maintaining a Part-time EC Practice:

If you have already begun ECing your child and have to return to work outside of the home, are starting EC while already working outside the home, or if you are simply choosing to maintain your EC practice part-time, there are a few routes you can take to help your baby continue this learning while avoiding confusion and interruption.

You can practice EC consistently during times when you’re at home, or during specific times that suit your family’s lifestyle.

These times can include mornings, evenings, nights, and/or weekends.

Besides helping your baby stay sensitive to his awareness of and ability to communicate about elimination, your other goal is to expose your baby to the potty regularly so that it’s familiar and comfortable (instead of suddenly introducing it at a much later age).

Shoot for the Easy Catches

If you can potty your baby upon waking, you’re certain to catch a pee...although as she grows you may have to wait a few minutes to let her wake up to potty later in baby- and toddler-hood.

Also, pottytunities during diaper changes are pretty reliable. Keep listening for a sample schedule that includes a list of good pottytunities for the working or part-time ECer.

Regularly Give Diaper-free Time

Give your baby diaper-free time as often as you are comfortable and able. This can be naked or in clothing.

But remember: do it responsibly. Once you’ve got the necessary info while baby is naked, use undies, trainers, or just pants so your baby doesn’t get used to peeing on the floor.

If you can do a half hour or more daily, that’s recommended. If not, shoot for at least once per week. A little diaper-free time before the evening bath is always nice!

Consider Co-sleeping at Night

ONLY CO-SLEEP IF IT GETS EVERYONE, INCLUDING YOU, MORE SLEEP, AND IF YOU DON’T HAVE A STRONG DESIRE TO HAVE YOUR CHILD SLEEPING IN ANOTHER ROOM ANYTIME SOON.

Many working ECers find success at staying in touch with baby’s signals and timing needs by co-sleeping. If you cosleep, you will increase your connection and familiarity with your baby, and will be physically able to sense her signals and needs and thus respond more quickly, sending you both back to sleep more quickly.

Co-sleeping can be done in a safe manner and in an arrangement that helps the whole family get more sleep than if the baby sleeps in a crib, alone. Do whatever gives your family the most sleep and allows you to remain more closely and intuitively connected with your baby.

Babies need to discharge pent-up energy that they generate throughout the day and the top two ways to help them do this (and produce a happier, more serene baby) are by co-sleeping and babywearing. Not only do these activities deepen your intuition and results around EC, but they also help you both feel happier & more connected!

Practice Nighttime EC

AGAIN, ONLY DO NIGHTTIME EC IF IT GETS EVERYONE, INCLUDING YOU, MORE SLEEP.

On the note of co-sleeping, you might also consider ramping up your nighttime EC practice in lieu of your daytime. Nighttime EC is easier and less disruptive to the whole family if you co-sleep, but has been successfully done without co-sleeping.

It is true that some people become exhausted by practicing nighttime EC. It’s also true that some people get more sleep because baby is more comfortable (having an empty bladder)...it just depends.

Doing nighttime EC can positively influence any effort at daytime EC. It can also prevent bedwetting in later years. Refer to GoDiaperFree.com to learn more about Nighttime EC. Give it a try and see what happens.

Wear Your Baby More Often

During those times when you are home, skip the stroller and carry your baby in a sling or other type of baby carrier. As with co-sleeping, being physically closer to your baby via wearing her attunes you to her signals and natural timing around pottying (and many other things!). It also deepens your connection during the precious moments you spend together when you’re not at work.

As I said in the co-sleeping section above, babies need to discharge pent-up energy that they generate throughout the day and the top two ways to help them do this (and produce a happier, more serene baby) are by co-sleeping and babywearing. Not only do these activities deepen your intuition and results around EC, but they also help you both feel happier & more connected!

ONLY WEAR YOUR BABY MORE OFTEN IF IT DOESN’T HURT YOUR BACK. If it hurts your back, it’s just not going to be worth your while. You’d be crazy to hurt yourself in order to meet your baby’s needs in this way.

Use Cloth Diapers (or Modified Disposables) at Least Part-time

If you are unable to do EC full-time (whether you are away at work or simply choosing to EC part-time), try switching to cloth diapers at least part-time. While you are with your baby, put her in a cloth diaper held in place by a belt or elastic band (without a plastic cover over it - think “Sumo Wrestler”).

Do this so you can immediately feel when your baby is wet and either offer a pottytunity to see if there’s more or simply change the diaper. Your baby needs to remain accustomed to dryness, so, if you are able to, do this as often as possible.

You will also remain in touch with your baby’s Natural Timing if you know immediately when she’s wet, and her Signals (as they evolve) will also remain more clear and consistent.

Disposable diapers alone will not help you achieve these goals...however, there is a way to modify their use by adding a cut-up piece of a washcloth (see How to Diaper with EC for how to do both the cloth sumo-style & the disposable modification).

So, that’s it for my overview of part-timer tips.

Here are some additional convenience tricks for everyone doing EC, part-time or full-time, to round out this episode.

Here are some things that can help you do Elimination Communication with balance, convenience, and sanity intact:

do it as often as you can. Part-time? Once a day? Poops only? Weekends only? Full-time? Sure, whatever YOU can!
do it with a diaper “back-up.” A diaper-free baby can still wear diapers. The difference is that he’s not dependent upon diapers. Many parents (myself included) use diapers “just in case.” But we’re not married to them.
learn how to do it right, from the beginning. Please do not wing it. I’m not exaggerating.
be present with your baby, connected, (while not hyper-focusing on your baby, or on EC) and EC will flow smoothly. Conduct your life in a busy, distracted manner and it probably won’t work. In fact, most things about parenting will likely crumble in your wake.
get support.

So that’s it for this episode of the Go Diaper Free Podcast. How to do EC part-time and have a life at the same time. You can find a full transcript of this episode plus the show notes at GoDiaperFree.com/05.

I’m curious - how are you doing EC part-time in your family? Find us at facebook.com/godiaperfree and post your part-time EC story or tips on our wall.

In our next episode, we will cover What is EC, Part 2. We’re gonna take it a step further from where we left off in Episode 2, now that we know so many more things about EC.

Til next time, happy pottying across the world!

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

Have you tried Part-time EC? Share your tips below!
I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.
This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on October 14, 2013

The post Part-time EC explained: how to do EC only some of the time, with daycare, etcetera appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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In this session of The Go Diaper Free Podcast, we’re going to cover what can get in your way with Infant Potty Training. What can make EC feel like a subtle version of hell.

I call ‘em the 9 EC no-no’s. They are things you’ll want to avoid at all costs.

I've been helping parents like you for the last almost-3-years on my private support forum, and we've discovered some patterns. There are specifically 9 things that trips folks up. Not really more, not really less, at this point anyway.

And so in this session of the podcast we're gonna cover them, one by one, briefly but completely, so you can get that virtual 'heads-up' as you start, continue, or wrap up your EC journey pottying your baby.

You will hear: The #1 thing all parents need to know about EC* (hint: it's not about the baby...at all) * The places where we all fall short...but also how to address them * How what you've learned in other EC books may be causing problems with completion and, well, the whole EC process, really * Why the Internet makes things great/horrid all at the same time * The #1 cause of EC potty pauses (potty training strikes) * Something more about the Hotel California * The biggest mistake folks make (it's #9)...been there, done that * Plus much more...

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: The 9 EC no-no's

Read the full written transcriptExpandThis is the Go Diaper Free Podcast with Andrea Olson, session 4 - let’s get into a new frame of mind.

Welcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast, where we're all about teaching you how to stop changing diapers, starting at birth. And now your host...She only had to deal with one week of poopy diapers...Andrea Olson.

That is so true. So, we have successfully covered thus far why we go diaper-free, part 1 of what is EC, when to begin, and now we’re on to what can trip you up. I am Andrea, and in this episode of the Go Diaper Free Podcast, we’re going to cover what can get in your way. What can make EC feel like a subtle version of hell.

I call ‘em the 9 EC no-no’s. They are things you’ll want to avoid at all costs.

First: The #1 thing that parents need to know about EC? With EC, it’s all about you. EC is about your commitment, your attitude, and your consistency, as a parent. You are guiding the ship. You get the honor of helping your baby do what he can’t yet do for himself. As with feeding and helping your baby sleep, you should learn how to do it and be consistent.

Which leads to the other piece: we do not live in tribal community, so you’ll need to sit down and learn EC. It’s just how it is. It doesn’t have to be difficult, time-consuming, or complex. Find a good program or method and commit to it. Because although every good little newborn pees when he’s held in position...most parents who wing it end up in trouble in months to come.

Ok, more on this later...

First, let’s address 9 of the major physical and mental no-no’s that could get in your way! (By the way, number 9 is THE most important one! I’ve saved the best for last.) We’ll take a quick look at all of these and then decide if what I am saying makes sense to you.

The 9 Biggest EC No-no’s Are:

putting off beginning
half-assing it
mis-using diaper-free time
relying solely on the clock
returning to work without a plan!
not doing the initial work
making life “all potty”
getting stuck in the EC culture
winging it

Alright here we go...

Putting off beginning

Here’s the thing: babies are born ready. We’re talking about you, the parent, now. The question is, are you ready? Just an FYI, things never settle down when you’re a new parent. Once you’ve gotten the ropes, the rules change. The first window of opportunity to start EC is 0-4 months. From there on up to 18 months, it is totally doable, but the game changes at each stage. Plain & simple? Most parents regret that they didn’t start EC earlier.

Half-assing it

No, no, no...You do not have to do EC full time, but yes, when you do do it, you should be committed and consistent (as you are with feeding and napping). Half-assing it causes confusion, rebellion, and in general, pee everywhere.

Mis-using naked diaper-free time (yes, this can backfire on you!)

Let’s just say that naked diaper-free time is great...to a point. One, do you want your baby habitually peeing all over your floor for 2 years? Two, if your baby is only potty trained while naked, your baby is not potty trained. And three, unless you live in a nudist colony, we wear clothes in the Western world. And, to clarify, “diaper-free” means free from dependence upon diapers. Got it? :)

Relying solely on the clock (disregarding the other, more important, more lasting indicators)

A baby who is ECed solely on by-the-clock timing will resist this in later months....just a heads up! I met a gal once who said they gave up EC with their newborn after 2 months because she just couldn’t handle taking him to the bathroom every half hour on the half hour. I asked, “Is that how you were taught to do it?” She was winging it off of free info she got on the internet. Relying on the clock is not enough.

5. Returning to work without a plan

When you go back to work, you need a bullet-proof plan to keep you committed to helping your baby pee when he needs to. Many moms give up, get really loose with it, or totally melt down when they return to work and try to do EC without a plan.

Not doing the initial work

Some parents skip the up-front work when starting EC. They sorta skip that part about observing, learning signals, and getting familiar with natural rhythms and such. Then, when the little one gets a mind of her own, the parent is constantly a step behind. Not fun at all.

Making life “all potty”

Making life “all potty” will result in potty rebellion. This includes hovering and extends even further into driving baby crazy with praise, questions, overtalking, trying to control your baby’s pottying, and showing off to friends. Trust me, you’ll want to avoid this. It’s a tricky balance to do something you’ve never done before and not make your life “all about it.” Ya know?

Getting stuck in the EC culture

Although community support in EC is vital and the mommie lists can be awesome (oh, my, especially those Facebook groups!)...be warned. If you get too comfortable as part of this particular community, kinda like at the Hotel California, you can check out anytime you like but you may never leave.

And you will want to be done pottying your baby someday, yeah? This is why my forum at godiaperfree.com is so great. Although I love you, I actually want you to eventually leave. So you’ll have support in being done when you and your baby are actually done.

And please, don’t get me wrong! I am a member of all the EC lists out there and there are tons of helpful mothers & brilliant replies. I just don’t recommend getting too attached it all. Make sense?

Winging it

All this said, you can totally just wing it and do whatever you’ve found out on mommie blogs and websites. You could join a forum or email list and get free advice. These things could actually be enough for a small percentage of ECing parents. However, I’ve seen this way too many times: any small baby will pee when you hold them over the sink and cue.

So you think you’re doing EC but maybe you’re just getting lucky. And after a few weeks, things start to get tricky. In 12 months, you’ve got serious problems and don’t know why.

It’s amazing that, as simple as EC is to start when you have the proper guidance and visual instruction, without that there are so many ways it can backfire if you wing it. There is so much great advice out there that winging it may waste your time, confuse you, and leave you feeling defeated. For instance: getting 40 replies in a Facebook post about what to do for “x” problem, trying them all, and giving up. 40 DIFFERENT REPLIES. It can be vastly confusing. All advice from parents who’ve ECed one or two children. Take it with a grain of salt, or get centralized support like what we’ve got goin on at the godiaperfree forum.

So, start with a method, an approach, a tried-and-true process, from the beginning, and experience a smoother journey. Get an expert’s support, somehow. Especially someone who’s done the research and has experience beyond their own child. It really makes a difference.

What’s Next?

Now remember, the #1 thing parents need to know about Elimination Communication? It’s all about you. Your baby was born ready. Are you ready to take the next step?

Visit me at godiaperfree.com for an entire community of resources that were created in order to avoid these common no- no’s. We are updating this community every week, and you’ll find lots of people who are getting serious about trying EC, from all over the world.

So that’s it for this episode of the Go Diaper Free Podcast: The 9 EC No-no’s and what to do to avoid them all. Tweet me @GoDiaperFree with your favorite No-no that you’re going to work on avoiding. I love hearing from you.

You can find a full transcript of this episode plus the show notes at GoDiaperFree.com/04.

In our next episode, we will cover Doing EC + Having a life: an introduction to part-time EC. So many folks think that you MUST do EC full-time, around the clock, and be with your baby 24/7 for it to work. Simply put: that’s not true. Most parents do EC part- time and I will share with you bits about why and how. Whether you work outside of the home or you’re just looking to do EC with some balance, this episode is for you.

Thanks again for listening - see you next time!

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

Which EC "no-no" were you not aware of? Please share it in the comments below.
I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on September 9, 2013

The post The 9 EC No-no’s: a few things you’ll want to avoid when doing EC appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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In this 3rd session of The Go Diaper Free Podcast, I share with you when to begin EC, including the optimal starting age, starting where you are, and what to do if you’ve exceeding the optimal window for EC altogether.

The cool thing is that there is a resource for everyone, no matter what age baby, and I aim to match you up with what you will need to make potty independence a reality starting at any age. This episode will help us accomplish that, together!

In today’s episode, you’ll also hear an overview of how starting at certain ages can have positive and negatives, and you'll get a grip on what to do if you're past the whole window altogether...

A hint: EC starts earlier than you'd guess!

You will hear:* Which infant potty training start ages make the most sense, and why * What "starting early" can involve (it's less work than you'd imagine) * An introduction to "Late Start EC"...or what I like to call Starting EC Older * How beating yourself up for missing some unforeseen boat can really be tripping you up * What exactly to do if you've exceeded the overall EC window of 0-18 months * Plus much more...

Links and other resources mentioned today:* My new gentle potty training resource for 18+ months (what to do instead of EC, at that age only) * The Go Diaper Free private members' area and my new book, Go Diaper Free: A Simple Handbook for Elimination Communication, are one in the same now! (for those of you who want to go ahead with EC at 0-18 months) * Now available: My get my Easy Start Guide!

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: When to begin EC

Read the full written transcriptExpandEPISODE 03: WHEN TO BEGIN EC

This is the Go Diaper Free Podcast with Andrea Olson, session 3 - where we’re ditching diaper dependence for good.

Welcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast, where we're all about teaching you how to stop changing diapers, starting at birth. And now your host...She has a backyard chicken that lays green eggs...Andrea Olson.

Indeed I do! Her name is Ellie. :) Welcome to today’s show.

So far on the Go Diaper Free Podcast we’ve covered why parents are going “diaper-free” and what EC is (part 1, anyway). In this episode I’m going to share with you when to begin EC, including the optimal starting age, starting where you are, and what to do if you’ve exceeding the optimal window for EC altogether.

In any case, there is a resource for everyone, no matter what age baby, and I aim to match you up with what you will need to make potty independence a reality starting at any age. That’s my job folks, that’s my job.

So, let’s get started. When to Begin EC?

Well, the first, advantageous window for beginning EC is early. In fact, it’s best to start preparing for EC when you’re pregnant. However, there is no definite cut-off to beginning and you can start (with some modifications) at any age, 0-18 months. If you have a baby who’s over 18 months old, you can skip EC and go straight to non-coercive potty training. Visit godiaperfree.com/ potty-training-book for my favorite resource. It’s shorter, sweeter, and more effective at that age. But back to what we were discussing....

The golden window with EC is during the pre-mobile months. The reason for this is that your baby isn’t mobile yet. It is obviously easier to observe a naked baby who is not crawling or running around than one who is. Also, the younger they are, more babies are sensitive to their inborn needs and instincts. The longer they are trained to use a diaper, sometimes the harder it is to train them out of them...but that’s not necessarily always the case.

If you are able to start within the first 4 months of your child’s life, it will be easier for you to integrate EC into your relationship. You will enter your rhythm together more naturally during this fresh time of hormone-enticed deep connection, resonance, and intuition. Your baby will not have been conditioned to go in a diaper and ignore her instincts for dryness. You will achieve faster and better results.

As compared to other potty training methods, this one must begin early...to be specific, at ages 0-18 months...there is no waiting for signs of ‘readiness’ or the ability to self-train. Babies are born ready, and EC takes advantage of that.

However, people start at various times for different reasons.

Wherever you are, here you start!

When your baby is born, you may feel overwhelmed at the newness of so many little things...and the incredible amount of energy required...so if you’re not committed, EC will fall through the cracks. Avoid this by entering into birth prepared to respond to your baby’s needs and cries in this additional way.

NOTE: If you’re beyond that first window, do not sweat it! 0-4 months is the “first optimum” age range, but you can begin at any age. You’ll just do it differently.

Let’s now chat about What “Starting Early” Can Involve

Your baby asks for food on day one. Your baby asks for warmth on day one. Your baby asks for comfort on day one. Your baby asks for sleep on day one.

She also asks for assistance keeping the bed, herself, and you dry, and maintaining good hygiene, on day one.

Starting at this time is similar to starting breastfeeding at this time. Although it may be a bumpy road, it’s about beginning to listen. Committing to listen. To support a little being do what he can’t do by himself.

“But I just had a baby and am recovering (painfully) myself!”

Well, perhaps you didn’t know this, but...you do not have to physically take your child to the bathroom on day one, or even know how. And you don’t have to do it 24/7. What I am saying is that a commitment to connecting with your baby on this level is totally possible from day one...as is starting the observation and cue cycles.

This early attention lays the foundation for the ongoing commitment that EC requires of parents. Starting on day one, even in a tiny way, can help keep you from putting off EC until it’s less opportune to start.

And you’re sitting around staring at your beautiful new baby all day long anyway, right? :)

All that said, seriously, start wherever you are!

Let’s chat a second about “Late Start EC”...have you heard about that yet?

A great majority of parents do not become aware of EC until after the blissful, dizzying fuzziness of birth passes. Most need help navigating EC with an older baby.

I used to call EC from 5-12 months “Late Start EC” and from 12-18 months it was Early Start Potty Training.” I dropped these titles because they either make you feel guilty...or entitled...neither of which are all that good.

However, if you hang in EC circles, a silly terminology exists. At 0-4 months it’s EC; 5-12 months Late Start EC; and 12+ months Early Start Potty Training.

When you call it by these names, if your baby is over 5 months old you’re probably gonna feel like you missed some kind of special boat.

You didn’t! You are fine where you are. Thus I now call it “Starting EC Older.” And that’s for 5-18 month olds across the board.

With EC, the consensus is: It’s never too late to start. Period. If EC resonates with you and you are willing to commit to trying, go for it!

Let me tell you, with the confidence of experience: Babies are born ready...start any time.

Whether you’re just waking up from birthing or you’re starting conventional potty training earlier and seeking a kinder, gentler potty learning experience, I want to help you begin where you are.

EC will absolutely still work for you if your child is between 5-18 months...just know that there are some special developmental things going on. I will help you work with these. You are okay. It will work out.

Trust me?

Good. Okay....so...

A few more things about those who are over 18 months of age:

IF you have a child who is 18 months or older, please do not do EC. Please go straight to my Mama friend, Jamie, and do her non-coercive potty training method (the current average time to completion is 7 days). It’s in your toddler’s best interest to have swift mastery of this task...s/he is capable and Jamie knows how to help you both get there and feel, well, masterful.

Additionally, when you get to that 19+ month mark with EC, if you want to wrap things up at that time, you have my full permission to jump off the EC boat and onto Jamie’s program to finish the job. I also cover completion 100% EC style at godiaperfree.com...if you should need this type of guidance.

~~You can grab a copy of Jamie’s book at xxxxxx - just check out the show notes at the end of this episode for the exact link.~~ [See update below]

Okay, now that your options are clear...Good News: some older- starting babes finish earlier than those who started on day one.

Apparently, there are mysterious windows of opportunity that
open and close all the time, and if you catch one, you’re golden. All babies are different and develop at different paces. The primary window is “supposed” to be 0-4 months; the next could be 8-12 months, 18, or even 20.

So, again, don’t feel bad, like you’ve missed some unseen imaginary boat!

You are exactly where you need to be and it’s all perfect. Start wherever you are, with the resources at hand, come visit me if you need said resources, and practice acceptance: it’s all perfect! It’s all in the right order! It’s all happening at the perfect moment. Start where you are and forgive yourself for unknowingly not knowing what you didn’t know in the first place. ;)

So that’s it for this episode of the Go Diaper Free Podcast. When to start EC, and what to do if you’ve gotten here past the ole EC window.

You can find a full transcript of this episode plus the show notes at GoDiaperFree.com/session3.

In our next episode, we will cover The 9 EC No-no’s. Super-important for most of you who are probably already doing one of these no-no’s, albeit with good intentions. I’ll lay em out for you and then tell you exactly how to skirt past each and every one of them. These are things I wish someone would have told me prior to starting EC, and yet these tips can help you no matter where you are in the ECing process.

Please subscribe to this podcast at iTunes to get the No-no episode and 99 more to follow, automatically updated to your computer or mobile device...and leave me a review if ya could. I’m working on improving and take each of your comments to heart.

Thanks for being part of this awesome community. Come see what the community’s cooking up over at godiaperfree.com - a little hint...it’s growing!

Til next time, may potty time be ever so much fun!

[UPDATE: Please note, that since the release of this podcast I have written my own, wildly popular & very effective, potty training book!!! Please go to godiaperfree.com/ptbook to find out more and purchase your own copy! Plus, my book even comes with private support group! Check it out!!!]

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

When did you start EC? If you haven’t yet, how old is your baby, and when do you plan to start?
I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on August 12, 2013

The post When can you start elimination communication with your baby? appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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In this session of The Go Diaper Free Podcast, I answer the question "What is Elimination Communication?"

I've included one of the fun radio interviews I gave during the 1st Annual Go Diaper Free Week in 2013 to give you a clear understanding of what EC is, in a tiny amount of time.

In today’s episode, you’ll also hear me explain 10 things that EC is not. Sometimes it's easier to understand what something isn't prior to learning what it is...so we'll start there.

You will hear: The many ways you can integrate EC into your busy lifestyle * The nature of gentle EC as a natural alternative to potty training * Some of the major misconceptions...and what's really* true about infant pottying * Why EC simply works * Plus much more...

Links and other resources mentioned today:* The Go Diaper Free private members' area (comes with my book) and the Go Diaper Free book by Andrea Olson * New: Get your Easy Start Guide!

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: WHAT IS ELIMINATION COMMUNICATION? PART 1

Read the full written transcriptExpandEPISODE 02: WHAT IS ELIMINATION COMMUNICATION? PART 1

Welcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast, where we're all about teaching you how to stop changing diapers, starting at birth. And now your host...She’s pregnant with her second baby...Andrea Olson.

Welcome back to the Go Diaper Free Podcast! I’m Andrea, and I am going to dive right into Part 1 of What is EC.

I recently did an interview for the 1st Annual Go Diaper Free Week that I spearheaded to spread news of EC across the world. Radio hosts force you to squeeze volumes of information into 3-5 minute spots. And I had to wake up at 6am to do the show. Luckily, what came of it is a very concise and brief overview of “diaper-free” and EC for folks tuned into a pop music morning show! Here goes:

~~~~

The Tad Show Podcast Star 99.9

Tad: So we were talking about this craziness of [Go] Diaper Free Week yesterday and we asked for anybody that was doing it to call and nobody did. Shocking.

Anna: I wonder why.

Tad: I know. This is kind of a... it’s not really a new trend. It’s actually been happening for maybe hundreds of years in other countries but this is the first year I’ve heard about it...thanks to the Huffington Post. Diaper-free meaning that when your child is born you basically look at it and it will tell you when it needs to go and then you bring to it a proper - hopefully proper - receptacle for the child to do their business and this is... we’re talking about infants.

Anna: Right, babies.

Tad: We just thought we had to get Andrea Olson on here...Andrea is an author; she’s an Elimination Communication Mentor; she’s the owner of godiaperfree.com, where you can learn more about this...to kinda explain this to us.

Andrea: Over half the world’s children are potty-trained by one and in the US, our average is 3, so it’s not a new thing, but it’s definitely something new for Americans.

Anna: So you just hold children over garbage cans and bushes?

Tad: Yeah, that’s what I picture.

Andrea: (Laughter) That’s what they do in China. Here in the US, not so much. We have a different society so we do it a little bit differently. Diaper free does not mean naked peeing everywhere, all over your house or in the street. It means not being dependent on diapers full-time and you’re trusting the baby’s instinct that they’re born with that they don’t want to pee on themselves, the bed, or you. And you train them into a potty instead of a diaper.

Tad: How do you...what signs do you look for? Like a baby is non-verbal, what does it do? I mean, just like a big smile and you’re like, “Oh, I think it’s about to happen. She’s about to blow.”

Andrea: Well, that’s true about poops actually, which is the one of the biggest benefits of doing EC is you don’t have to scrape poop off of a bottom. If you’ve ever seen a baby try to poop in a diaper, you can tell when it’s happening, so that is one way to know that they need to go to the bathroom. And if you start taking them, and they start to trust that you’re going to take them, they will hold it until they get that diaper off and you put them on a potty.

Tad: How quickly can you train your kid to do this?

Andrea: For me, my son, I started at birth with him. Not everybody does this, but it took about two weeks for him to start controlling his sphincters, so to speak.

Tad: We were talking yesterday and she was talking about this and I was like, you know this is the first time I’ve ever heard the word “sphincter” used outside of a joke.

Anna: That’s hilarious.

Tad: My inner 12-year old came out.

Andrea: Oh yeah. (Laughter)

Anna: I mean my daughter would poop in corners when I was trying [to potty train her]. I just can’t imagine that from birth she would just be able to be like, “Oh, yup this is my signal. I’m gonna pee now, or I’m gonna poop now.” I just find it so hard to believe.

Andrea: Well, you know, one generation ago in the US, we were potty training at half the age that we are now. So the advent of disposable diapers was one thing that probably held you back a little. But EC starts anywhere from 0-18 months. With EC, you’ll never get to the “hide behind the couch” thing that you were talking about. You avoid potty training altogether, and there’s a method to starting EC where you don’t get to this ridiculous “3 years I’m starting potty training and it’s hell.” You skip that whole thing like half of the world who are done by 1. In America, you can finish by about 20 months with the whole process.

Tad: Andrea Olson, author, elimination communication mentor. Godiaperfree.com - you can get all the details on the Tad Show page at star999.com.

~~~~

Here’s the next segment of their show where they interview a gal in their Southern Connecticut community who had unknowingly been doing EC with her daughter and then her Twins:

~~~~
Tad: And Maria you've tried this.

Maria: Actually, I have twins and I have a 3 year-old and my mom used to watch my 3 year old and she would, you know, take her to the toilet when she was 4 months old. And growing up in the US, I was completely against it. I was like, “Ma, what are you doing?”, you know, and I didn’t believe her until I noticed my... her doing it with her. And now I have twins, and one of them has a disability. They’re only 7 months old but they have not pooped in their diaper for the past few months.

Anna: I mean, I understand picking up the signals for poop. I get that, I remember that, I see that, but I don't see the pee one. That's what boggles my mind, honestly. It's kind of gross but true.

Maria: I’ll be honest with you, I still don't see the pee signal but what we do is after a feed, like any other, you know, they can't hold their bladder longer so I’ll just take them.

Tad: You don’t like hit them on the nose with a newspaper, “Don't you do that again.”
Anna: Tad!

Maria: I'll tell you, I have friends and their kids are 3 and my daughter's 3. She was trained by 1 - out of diapers completely. And, you know, their kids are struggling just sitting on the toilet. They don't feel comfortable, but even if they're not training, you get them used to going and sitting on the toilet. I can't tell you the relief that I feel now with 3 of them...and their diapers are expensive.

Tad: Of course you have to hold the child up on the toilet ‘cause they can't hold themselves up.

Anna: It just seems weird.

Maria: I mean of course, you now, it involves work. So I’m thankful that I have my mother because, you know, she is home and she watches them and she does this with them. It takes a lot of time.

Tad: The thing about this that I think is like the missing the link - this is why I think I had a hard time getting it and now I understand - is that the kid is gonna communicate to you. They're gonna work for you. They're gonna hold it eventually because they don't wanna go in their diaper either.

Anna: I think it's so hard to put that kind of pressure on a baby.

Maria: You know, I don't think that it's pressure. I think that they're smart and that they feel, just like, you know, the whole ‘baby can talk.’ It's what effort you put in and you're willing to do. Your kids react. And my daughters are so happy when they don't go in their diaper, and they're comfortable...and you know, actually, I think it makes them smarter. If you think about it, they know how to communicate in that early age.

Anna: Poop smarter. I like that.

Tad: Don't poop harder.

Anna &Tad: Poop smarter.

~~~~

I just love how, in the end, Tad is a total EC convert. I like to imagine that he’s off telling his friends about EC right now.

Let’s continue chatting about what EC is.

Elimination Communication, commonly known as EC, is also called natural infant hygiene, infant pottying, pottying diaper- free babies, or infant potty training (whew!). We’ll just stick to EC.

Here’s My Simple Definition of Elimination Communication:

EC is a gentle, non-coercive way to respond to a baby’s natural pottying needs, from birth, which enables her to follow her instincts to not soil herself, her caretaker, or her sleep space.

In other words, babies are born ready. We just need to tune into what they’re born asking for, provide it, stay in good communication, and roll with the evolution until our babies are totally potty independent. (Kinda like with eating and sleeping.)

We can do EC part-time (as most do) or full-time, with diapers as a back-up (as most do) or without, and we can teach things toward the end to help our babies fully transition to potty independence. By the way, no one is teaching this right now...the transitioning to independence piece...you will only find this info with me...so stay tuned for more deets or go to godiaperfree.com to learn more about this topic.

In future podcasts I will give you detailed instruction on how to know when your baby needs to pee, and how to potty her, exactly. Before I move on to how you can get started, I want to set some realistic expectations for you up front.

First, let’s take a look at 10 things which EC is NOT.

EC is not about your baby...it’s all about you, the parent. Your commitment (whether you do it full-time, part-time, or occasionally), consistency, and potty attitude determines your success. Finding balance within the practice is an art. EC is not “wired-in” to our modern brains. You will have to sit down and learn EC.
EC should not be started by “winging it.”You can totally “wing it” off of free information from the internet, mommie blogs, FB groups, and EC email lists...but be careful. Many of my clients are cleaning up giant messes that have resulted from winging it and wish they had started more solidly. Remember: any small baby will pee when in position and cued....is it EC...or is it beginner’s luck?
EC doesn’t happen overnight – it’s a journey – but if you follow my guidance at GoDiaperFree.com, your baby WILL be finished with diapers between 6 and 20 months versus the 36-38 month national US potty training average (depending on when you start and what you choose to do).
EC is not impossible. 1/2 the world is doing it right now! Before I tried it, it was just a dream of doing what indigenous folks do. It wasn’t until I had my baby that I discovered that EC is totally real, it’s totally awesome, and I want every other interested parent to experience it too.
EC is not hovering over your baby all day long, waiting for him to urinate. It is not watching the clock and asking him if he has to pee every 30 minutes! It is, however, responding to your baby’s signals, being aware of his natural timing, and helping him go when the time comes.
EC is not coercive. It is not punitive. There should be no shaming, pressure, competition, showing off, or rushing the process. EC is completely in line with babies’ natural interests, needs, capabilities, preferred hygiene, and general well-being.
EC is not “training” your baby. EC is listening to the signals your baby is already giving and helping her meet her instinctual needs for cleanliness and dryness until you can hand off the baton and enable her to do it herself.
EC is not “parent training.” Little babies express their needs out of the innocence of having them and needing immediate help. Their communication is limited to preverbal means (crying, grunting, flailing). With EC, the parent simply responds to a baby’s primal needs, such as with feeding and sleeping.
EC is not a chore...it’s a lifestyle. It’s not a fad...it’s a totally different perspective, established in countless communities across the world for 100’s of thousands of years.
EC is not fixing something that’s broken (like diapering seems to be)...it’s about not disturbing the natural process in the first place so that no fixing (conventional potty training) is necessary later.

So, that’s it for what EC is NOT. Earlier in this show we briefly covered what EC IS, with the radio clip and my definition. You are a busy, probably underslept, new parent so that’s all I’m going to give you for today’s episode. Go ahead and digest that til we air again next week. In a few more weeks we’ll re-visit “What is EC?” with Part 2.

If you are a visual learner, you can find a full transcript of this episode plus the show notes at GoDiaperFree.com/session2. In our next episode, we will cover When to Begin EC...what ages are optimal and when does a child exceed the appropriate age for this particular technique.

Meanwhile, if you’re into it already and would like to go ahead and start EC today, visit GoDiaperFree.com for more resources created by yours truly. Most of my readers wish they had known about EC sooner, started earlier, and had a good, sound starting point. That’s what we’re here folks...it’s a growing community and you are welcome to join us!

Keep tuning in to gather more practical information about EC for
you and your family.

Til next time, happy pottying everyone!

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

Did you learn something new today about what EC is (or isn’t)? Share your thoughts below!
I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

The post What in the world is elimination communication? Part 1: let’s wrap our heads around this infant potty training thing appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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In our first episode of the Go Diaper Free Podcast, we are gonna chat about why parents are going diaper-free. What are the benefits of doing Elimination Communication with our babies? And what pushes parents over the edge of doubt into a world of possibility...a world where babies don’t have to depend 100% on diapers?

Infant pottying has become such a popular topic in the news this year (this happens every few years or so), and lots more new parents are turning to EC in order to avoid 3 years of diapering and conventional toilet training.

If you are interested in starting with your 0-18 month baby, but have yet to get around to it, I'll share with you the top 18 reasons why other parents are going diaper-free...and loving it.

You will hear:* How parents are using less diapers, saving money + time, and lessening mess * The ways EC makes potty training easier later * Exactly how many disposable diapers are landfilled each year in the US (this will surprise you) * How Elimination Communication helps parents solve issues such as breastfeeding problems, colic, diaper rash, allergies, and constipation * Plus much more...

Links and other resources mentioned today:* My retired book, EC Simplified: Infant Potty Training Made Easy, which has been replaced by my new book, Go Diaper Free: A Simplified Handbook for Elimination Communication, by Andrea Olson * The GDF private members' area (comes with my book). * Now available: my free 1-page Easy Start Guide to help you catch your first pee today!

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: WHY PARENTS ARE GOING “DIAPER-FREE

Read the full written transcriptExpandWelcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast, where we're all about teaching you how to stop changing diapers, starting at birth. And now your host...Her son was out of diapers by 9 months...Andrea Olson.

In our first episode of the Go Diaper Free Podcast, we are gonna chat about why parents are going diaper-free. What are the benefits of doing Elimination Communication with our babies? And what pushes parents over the edge of doubt into a world of possibility...a world where babies don’t have to depend 100% on diapers?

So, as you’ve probably heard, there is a thing called “diaper-free” catching fire in the media and in our communities. For some, it’s a wacky, crazy idea that leaves images of babies peeing in between cars in NYC. For others, it’s the best thing since sliced bread. I mean, come on, not having to deal with diapers for as long? Count me in.

Cynics and naysayers aside, this podcast is for those who want to learn more about going “diaper-free.” It’s for those who have heard about Elimination Communication (commonly called “EC”) and want to give it a try. It’s for those who are already practicing EC and want to learn even more about this intriguing and effective alternative to full-time diapering. It’s for those who are curious. If you’re vastly opposed to the idea and practice of EC, you’ll probably get bored. I am not here to convert anyone, so if you were hoping I’d try...sorry!

I AM here to give the best advice, insight, and guidance I can muster to those who need more information about EC. And that is that.

So, yes, “in” I am. As most of you know, I practiced EC with my son from birth. He was out of diapers at 9 months and totally competent by 17 months. I only dealt with one week of poopy diapers.

I did EC for countless reasons, the top of my list being to avoid said poopy diapers. Honestly, I never wanted THAT experience. I never felt good about checking a baby’s diaper by sniffing their butt. Not for me. Next, I wanted my son to feel heard and respected. I wanted to help him with something he was asking for, but needed help with, as a newborn. And, I really wanted to minimize my environmental footprint and leave the Earth better than I found it.

So that’s why I went “diaper-free.” Which, by the way, “diaper- free” doesn’t mean naked babies peeing everywhere...it means “free from the exclusive dependence upon diapers”...or, more plainly, that if the diaper supply were to suddenly run dry, we’d all be “diaper-free” and using other means to take care of our babies’ waste. We’d no longer be dependent upon them.

So, I asked my consort of worldwide readers and those I mentor why they chose to do EC, to go “diaper-free.” There are so many, so let’s chat briefly about the top 18 of them:

1. Use Less Diapers

A few people do EC completely diaper-free from the get-go. Those who use diapers as a back-up may use the same disposable or cloth diaper for hours on end, or all day.

Either way...if you look at the overall impact of being completely finished with diapers at age 1 or 2 instead of age 3, 4, or even 5… you can imagine how many diapers that will save you.

Save Money

If you save diapers, you will save money. Simple enough.

Oh, and if you practice EC using my Quick EC cloth diapering method, you’ll need less gear and will save even more money. We’re talking 75 bucks versus $3,000 total.

Pave the Way to Easier Potty Training (aka Potty Independence)

Ultimately, if you maintain your baby’s instinct to not soil herself, you, or her bed, and as a by-product, build trust with her by showing her you’ll take her to potty when she asks...your ultimate goal of a potty-independent child will be more easily & quickly within reach. When it comes time for total potty independence, your teamwork will have paid off and the final stages will be smoother.

On the other hand, if you teach her to go in her pants you will then get the honor of teaching her that, woops, she shouldn’t go in her pants, but in the potty instead. That would obviously make potty training harder. More confusing. A royal struggle.

Don’t get me wrong here...doing Elimination Communication, or infant potty training, in modern society does not necessarily guarantee early potty independence. Every baby develops uniquely, at her own pace. Also, we lack the community support that indigenous tribes are blessed with, where everyone pitches in and early potty independence is just the norm. However, many babies do finish earlier with EC than if conventionally potty trained.

Deepen Connection

Every single parent I’ve helped who has practiced and enjoyed EC has reported experiencing a deeper connection with their baby. EC is just one more way to respond to baby’s communications, build trust, and enhance that precious parent- child connection. In this way, EC is in alignment with Attachment Parenting principles.

Save Time

If you set yourself up for success by making it easy to quickly remove and replace clothing (if any), and if you are catching those obvious “I need to poo soon” signals and thus avoiding splatter-butt in the diaper (and, yes, all over the baby and his clothes)....you will save time.

Practicing EC actually saves time compared to traditional diaper-changing (and bottom cleaning) routines.

6. Lessen Mess

If you’ve ever cleaned the rear end of a baby who’s just poo’d, you know just what I’m talking about. I can not guarantee that you will rid yourself of poopy diapers forever...however, most ECing families joyfully avoid the majority of them.

Many parents can tell when their baby is pooping...that obvious face or stare. The odds of catching poos are on your side. When you get good at catching poos, you’ll save yourself the gross work of cleaning up a splattered rear.

Elimination Communication lessens mess beyond the bum. It’s more hygienic for baby, household, and parents, too. Many ECing parents don’t own a smelly diaper pail and find it easier to clean up after baby in these ways.

And boy do their babies smell GREAT!!

You might think that by doing infant potty training you’ll get peed and pood on more often...my friends who diaper their babes report that they get dirty just as often as I do.

Lastly, cleaning up little newborn and tiny baby messes is way better than cleaning up BIG toddler messes. They just make bigger, messier, smellier waste. Let’s not go there....

Lessen Environmental Impact

Per Wikipedia, 27.4 billion diapers are buried in US landfills every year...making them the third largest single consumer item in the landfills. It’s estimated that they take 250-500 years to decompose...but no one really knows for sure. Since they were invented in the late 1950’s, that means that every single disposable diaper that’s ever been thrown away still lies exactly where it was buried, full of waste, practically intact. Yuck.

Add in the amount of water and detergent used to wash cloth diapers every year, the petroleum to run diaper service delivery trucks, plus the chemicals, water, and petroleum used to manufacture all types of diapers and the associated diaper industry must-haves, like disposable pull-ups and intricate stuff made of plastic, and you’ve got a big environmental problem.

By reducing the number of any kind of diaper you use over the potty learning life of your child (by taking less time to complete potty independence and/or by lessening or eliminating your day- to-day use of diapers), you directly impact the environment. By choosing Elimination Communication, you make a difference.

So, you might be wondering what 27.4 billion diapers look like… Well, they weigh about 3.4 million tons...which equals about 3.4 million Volkswagen Beetle cars {{honk honk!}} or about 485,714 gigantic, 7-ton, 14,000 pound African savanna elephants...the world’s largest land mammal times 1/2 million.... {{elephant blows}}

Each. Year. Into. Landfills.

In the United States, alone.

Help with Breastfeeding

Did you know that breastfeeding babies typically “pop off” the breast when they need to pee or poo? It’s hard to eat and potty at the same time.

Unfortunately, most women (and lactation consultants) incorrectly interpret this popping off as a sign of over-supply, overactive letdown, or low milk supply...some serious breastfeeding problems.

This misinterpretation could be contributing to countless misdiagnoses of lactation issues, when at the core of the popping off could be just a simple signal that baby wants to go potty somewhere other than your lap!

Additionally, some moms stop the feeding when baby pops off and miss the opportunity to fully nourish him. You may have better success at giving your baby a full tummy if you pause to potty, then resume the feeding.

Explain Some “Unexplained Fussiness” & Colic

When my baby was fussy as a newborn, 9 times out of 10 he was telling me he needed to potty. Boy did I learn fast. If I didn’t know about my baby’s natural ability to communicate about his need to potty in an appropriate place, I would never have unraveled the mysterious, and otherwise totally unexplainable, Mr. Fussypants moments.

Some babies are labeled “colicky” when really they are just being persistent and adamant about telling you they don’t want to go on themselves, you, or their bed. Perhaps they are vehemently protesting the diaper itself.

Somewhere between 1/3 and 1/2 of babies’ cries and fussiness actually mean “I need to go. Please help.”

Avoid Diaper Rash

With Elimination Communication, the baby doesn’t become accustomed to going in the diaper and sitting in moisture and feces all day...and thus diaper rash and other infections caused by unsanitary stuff on the skin are less likely.

Whether you use disposables or cloth diapers, if you practice EC along with drying any wet areas prior to replacing the diaper, you may avoid diaper rash altogether. So many do...yours truly included. I’d even go so far as to say that Elimination Communication is the #1 diaper rash cure & method of prevention in the world!

Also, diaper-free time (which is recommended intermittently whether practicing full-time or part-time Elimination Communication) helps air out the bum and can help quickly resolve diaper rash and/or the yeast that causes it. Sometimes putting a cloth diaper back on continues the yeast growth.

Diaper-free time is a time to heal. Add in treatment with copious amounts of magical bum cream, and...problem solved.

Skip the diaper rash problem altogether by practicing Infant Potty Training.

Avoid Constipation

Babies have more difficulty pooing (and strain much more) while laying in a horizontal position. The classic Elimination Communication position is a “deep squat.” Coincidentally, our body’s elimination systems were designed to work well with that squat.

Lessen Frustration

The baby cries and you try to unravel exactly what he is asking for. Is he hungry? Tired? Cold? Hot? Teething? Does he need to pee?

Figuring out the meaning of just one of these various cues can save your baby (and you) a ton of pre-verbal frustration. “Oh, that’s the noise he makes when he is about to pee. Got it.”

As time goes on, baby trusts that you know what he needs and you’re going to help him. As a result, his cries become less intense, quieter, mellower.

Using Elimination Communication is also less frustrating for the child versus conventional toilet training, which can be very confusing after years of dependence on diapers. Now that I mention it, conventional toilet training is also frustrating for the parent! Whether you’re potty training boys or potty training girls...frustration intensifies from ages 2-5!

Get to Know Your Baby & His Body

If you know your baby intimately in as many ways as possible, your knowledge will give you incredible gifts down the line.
Knowing what goes in and what comes out, when and how often, has big benefits.

By practicing Elimination Communication, you will become more in-tune with any upcoming illnesses & developmental milestones, possible nutrition/allergy/breastmilk supply issues, and the personality development taking place in your child.

Some ECing parents have even detected Urinary Tract Infections in their babies earlier than they otherwise would have.

Doing EC gets you in touch with your baby’s body so that you begin to know what is normal and what is not.

Baby Gets in Touch with His Own Body

Babies also get the opportunity to explore their own bodies when they are diaper-free. Especially the private parts.

This helps baby develop a healthy sexual identity and perspective. It prevents the development of shame around her genitals and, ultimately, her sexuality. Many children have come to believe that their private parts are “gross” or “dirty,” the source of these thoughts being years of wearing their toilet over that area, and our reactions to changing their soiled diapers!

15. Improve Communication

As you learn your baby’s cues and respond to them, your shared communication loop improves.

Elimination Communication adds another opportunity to build good communication skills as the baby receives confirmation that what he expresses has value and deserves a reply, encouraging him to communicate more.

Throw baby sign language into the mix and enjoy the budding conversations!

Build Self-Esteem

ECed babies feel good about themselves because when they cry out for help, their parents respond and try to help them. This makes babies feel valuable, that they belong in the world and are worthwhile. When the young toddler gains mastery over the whole pottying process, his self-esteem sky-rockets.

ECing parents feel good about themselves because they are experiencing the joy of connecting with their babies more often than if they didn’t EC (and usually, more deeply).

See that Bare Baby Bottom More Often

Who doesn’t want to see (and squeeze) an adorable, clean, beautiful bare baby bottom more often?!

My personal favorite benefit of doing EC is that I got to see my baby’s naked bum all the time...and it was soft, healthy, and smelled so good. I can’t imagine life without seeing it so often.

Remember, “diaper-free” doesn’t mean naked all the time...it means using the diaper as a tool and not relying on it 100%. But, yeah, there are lots of baby bottom moments, and I loved every one of them.

Have More Fun

Elimination Communication can be quite fun. Making faces in the mirror as she pees into the sink. Singing potty songs as you sit on each of your potties together. Going in nature, together...how exciting!

Babies follow us around, wanting to learn how to be a grown-up human. When we engage in this activity together and build connection on this level, parents and baby all have more fun.

And Just a Few More Benefits...with EC you can:

Explain mysterious sleep issues (babies often wake because they need to pee or can’t settle in a wet diaper)
Travel lighter (you won’t need all those bulky diapering supplies, but you might need a portable potty!)
Lessen future discipline challenges
Increase mobility, motor skills, and the possibility of earlier self-dressing
Decrease power struggles & diaper-changing struggles
Understand some hyperactive behavior
Teach child to “let go” versus “hold it”

So there you have it! A little over 18 reasons why parents choose EC and “diaper-free” over conventional diapering and toilet Training.

I will provide a transcript for this episode as well as links to anything I may have mentioned in the show notes at GoDiaperFree.com/01. Please pay me a visit over there to learn more about EC. I am known for making things dummy-proof, so don’t be intimidated...come have a gander.

Also, it’d be a great help if you could please share what you think about my show in the iTunes review section. I am new at this and I only want to improve. I’d really appreciate your feedback and Support!

If there’s something you’d like for me to cover on this podcast, let me know by emailing me at andrea@godiaperfree.com.

Next week we are going to dive right in with Episode 2: What is EC?, Part 1. I’m shooting for all episodes to be 15 minutes or less so you can squeeze them into your busy day. Future episodes will cover brief how-to’s, philosophy, beginner and advanced material, interviews, lots and lots of troubleshooting, and real parents’ stories, struggles, and successes, all developed through my many years of helping parents just like you start and maintain a successful EC practice. Please subscribe to this podcast in iTunes to automatically get all this juicy stuff delivered to your devices every week.

See ya next time, and thanks for tuning in!

Read the full written transcript in Hungarian by Anna Piedl-Luxeder ExpandMiért választják a szülők a pelenkanélküliséget, avagy a természetes csecsemőhigiénia (EC*) színtiszta előnyei:

Első rész: Miért választják a szülők a pelenkanélküliséget?

(*Az EC az Elimination Communication rövidítése. A kifejezés tükörfordításban ürítési kommunikációt jelent, Magyarországon a köztudatban természetes csecsemőhigiénia néven kezdett teret hódítani.)

Üdvözlünk a Go Diaper Free Podcast sorozatában! Itt mindenünk a tanítás, témánk pedig: hogyan hagyjunk fel a pelenkázással, akár újszülött kortól. Házigazdánk kisfiáról 9 hónaposan véglegesen lekerült a pelenka. Ismerjétek meg Andrea Olsont!

Go Diaper Free Podcast sorozatunk első részében arról fogunk beszélgetni, hogy miért választják a szülők a pelenkanélküliséget. Mik az előnyei, ha a babánkkal EC-zünk? Mi tud meggyőzni egy kételkedő szülőt arról, hogy létezhet egy olyan világ, amiben a babák nem függenek 100%-osan a pelenkáktól?

Bizonyára hallottál már a médiában és a szülői közösségekben egyre többet emlegetett ”pelenkanélküliségről”. Ez a rész azoknak szól, akik hallottak már az EC-ről, és szeretnék kipróbálni. És azoknak, akik már EC-znek, de szeretnének többet tudni a pelenkázás, a pelenkától való teljes függés eme érdekfeszítő és hatékony alternatívájáról. És persze azoknak is, akik egyszerűen csak kíváncsiak. Ha zsigerből ellenzed az EC gondolatát is, valószínűleg unalmasnak tartod majd a mai részt. Nem szeretnék senkit sem megtéríteni, szóval ha ebben bíztál… Bocsi!

Azért vagyok itt, hogy a lehető legjobb tanácsokat adjam, betekintést nyújtsak, és irányt mutassak azoknak, akiknek több információra van szükségük az EC-vel kapcsolatban. Ez minden, amit szeretnék.

Vágjunk is bele. Ahogy a legtöbben tudjátok, a kisfiammal születésétől kezdve EC-ztünk. 9 hónaposan végleg levettem róla a pelenkát, és 17 hónapos korára teljes kompetenciával szobatiszta lett. Összesen egy hetet kellett kakis pelenkákkal foglalkoznom.

Számtalan oka van, hogy miért is kezdtük el az EC-t. A listám legtetején a kakás pelenkák elkerülése állt. Őszintén szólva, erre az élményre sosem vágytam. Egyszerűen rossz érzésem volt attól, hogy úgy ellenőrizzem le a gyerekem pelenkáját, hogy megszagolom a fenekét. Ezt nem nekem találták ki. A következő indokom: szerettem volna, ha a kisfiam azt érzi, hogy meghallgatják és tisztelik. Segíteni akartam neki mindenben, aminek hangot ad, mert magától újszülöttként nem képes megoldani. Nem utolsó sorban pedig csökkenteni akartam az ökológiai lábnyomomat, és a Földet jobb helyként hátrahagyni, mint ahogy mi kaptuk.

Szóval ezért ”pelenkátlanodtunk”. A ”pelenkanélküliség” amúgy nem azt jelenti, hogy a gyereked meztelenül pisil össze-vissza… Nem a pelenkáktól mentesítitek magatokat, hanem attól, hogy kizárólag a pelenkáktól függjetek… Vagy még egyszerűbben, ha többé nem lehetne pelenkát kapni a boltokban, mindnyájan ”pelenkamentesek” lennénk, és egyéb eszközöket kellene használnunk, hogy gondoskodjunk a gyermekeink által termelt szemétről. És többé nem is függenénk a pelenkáktól.

Világszerte megkérdeztem olvasóim és mentoráltjaim táborát, hogy miért választottak az EC-t és a ”pelenkanélküliséget”. Nagyon sok érv szól, mellette, szóval beszéljünk most csak az első 18 fő indokról:

Kevesebb pelenkát kell használniKevesen, de vannak akik már a kezdetektől teljesen mellőzik a pelenkát. Azok, akik a biztonság kedvéért használnak pelenkát, sokszor újra ugyanazt az eldobható, vagy mosható pelenkát adják vissza órákon át, vagy végül egész nap.

Akárhogyis… Ha csak arra az általános hatásra gondolsz, hogy a pelenkázással végleg felhagyhatsz gyermeked 1 vagy 2, nem pedig 3, 4, vagy akár 5 éves kora körül… El tudod képzelni, mennyi pelenkával kell kevesebbet venned. 2. PénzspórolásKevesebb pelenka, kevesebb pénz. Elég egyszerű a képlet.

Ja, és ha úgy EC-zel, hogy az EC-hez kitalált gyors mosható pelusos módszeremet alkalmazod, kisebb készletre lesz szükséged és még többet spórolhatsz. Utóbbi 75 dollárodba kerül az amúgy 3000 dolláros összköltséggel szemben. 3. Az út kikövezése az egyszerűbb bilire szoktatás felé (vagyis a szobatisztaság felé)Végtére, ha fenntartod a gyermekednek azt a természetes ösztönét, hogy ne piszkítsa össze magát, téged, vagy az ágyát, és ha kéri, biztosítod neki a bilizési lehetőséget, így mint egy melléktermékként kiépíted benne a bizalmat ezen a téren is… a szobatisztaság sokkal könnyebben és gyorsabban karnyújtásnyira kerül. Ha pedig eljön az önálló bili használat ideje, kifizetődik a csapatmunkátok eredménye, és sokkal simább ügy lesz az utolsó pár lépés megtétele.

Másrészről ha arra tanítod, hogy a pelenkába ürítsen, annak a megtanítása is a te tiszted lesz, hogy hoppá, a pelenkába mégsem kellene pisilni, kakilni, használja helyette a bilit. Nyilvánvalóan így nehezebb a bilire szoktatás, nagyobb a zavar, és rögösebb az út.

Félre ne érts… Az, hogy az EC-t vagy a csecsemőkori szobatisztaságot választjátok, modern társadalmunkban még nem jelent garanciát arra, hogy a gyermeked már korán önállóan tudja is használni a bilit. 4. A kapcsolat elmélyítéseMinden egyes szülő, akinek idáig segítettem, és gyakorolta, meg persze élvezte is az EC-t, arról számolt be, hogy elmélyültebb lett a kapcsolata a gyermekével. Ez is csak eggyel több módja annak, hogy válaszkészen neveld a gyermekedet, bizalmat építs ki vele, és elmélyítsd az értékes szülő-gyermek kapcsolatot. Tulajdonképpen az EC teljes összhangban van a kötődő nevelés elveivel. 5. IdőspórolásHa sikerre rendezkedsz be, azaz könnyen levehető és lecserélhető ruházatot választasz (már ha egyáltalán használsz ilyesmit), és elcsíped azokat az egyértelmű ”hamarosan kakilnom kell” jeleket, elkerülheted, hogy minden szétkenődjön a popón (igen, minden és akár mindenen, a babád testén és ruháin is)… tudsz időt spórolni az EC-vel.

Tulajdonképpen a hagyományos pelenkacserélési (és popótörlési) rutinnal összevetve, ha EC-zel, időt spórolsz meg. 6. Kevesebb mocsokHa már volt szerencséd egy olyan baba hátsó felét megtisztítani, aki éppen bekakilt, tudod miről beszélek. Nem tudom garantálni, hogy egyszer és mindenkorra megszabadulsz a kakás pelenkáktól… azonban a legtöbb EC-t gyakorló család örömmel számol be róla, hogy nagy részüket el tudják kerülni.

Sok szülő alapból tudja, hogy mikor kakil a gyereke… az a nyilvánvaló arc, vagy nézés árulkodó lehet. A kakik ilyen módon való elcsípése a te malmodra hajtja a vizet. Ha ügyesen elkapod ezeket a pillanatokat, megkímélheted magadat a szétkenődött kakák nem oly gusztusos letakarításától.

A természetes csecsemő higiénia csökkenti a mocskot a popó körül. Ez higiénikusabb mind a babának, mind a háztartásnak és a szülőnek is. Sok EC-s szülő háztartásában nem is lelhető fel a pelenkakuka és a vele járó illatok. Ezek a szülők egyszerűbbnek tartják, hogy ilyen módon takarítsanak babájuk után.

És atyaég, ezeknek a babáknak aztán igazán BABAILLATUK van!
Lehet azt gondolod, hogy a csecsemőkori szobatisztaságot gyakorló szülőket gyakrabban pisilik, vagy kakilják le a babáik… a barátaim, akik a jól megszokott módon pelenkázzák gyerekeiket, éppen annyiszor találkoznak ilyesmivel, mint jómagam.

Végül, egy újszülött, aprócska baba után feltakarítani mérföldekkel jobb, mint egy NAGY hozzátáplált totyogó után. Ők valljuk be nagyobbat is, mocskosabbat is, és büdösebbet is kakilnak. Ebbe ne is menjünk bele… 7. Az ökológiai lábnyom csökkentése
A Wikipedia szerint 27.4 billió (azaz 27 400 000 000 000) pelenkát temetnek el az USA szeméttelepein minden évben… a pelenkák így egymagukban a 3. legnagyobb tényezővé nőtték ki magukat a szeméttelepeken. Becslések szerint 250-500 év alatt bomlanak le… de ezt senki nem tudja biztosra. Mivel csak az 1950-es években találták fel, ez azt is jelenti, hogy minden egyes valaha a szemétbe került eldobható pelenka még pontosan ott fekszik, ahová temették, benne mindaz, amit felszívott, gyakorlatilag érintetlenül. Fúj.Ehhez még adjuk hozzá a mosható pelenkáknál felmerülő víz és mosószer mennyiségét, az üzemanyagot, amivel a pelenka szervízes kocsik futnak, a vegyszereket, megint csak a vizet és a kőolajszármazékokat, amelyek mindenféle és fajta pelenka gyártásához szükségesek, valamint a pelenka iparhoz szorosan kapcsolódó egyéb fogyasztási cikkek anyagszükségletét, mint például az eldobható bugyipelenkáké, és egyéb összetett műanyagféleségeké, és készen is van a környezeti probléma.

Bármilyen pelenkát is használsz gyermeked szobatisztulásáig, azzal hogy csökkented a felhasznált mennyiséget (azáltal, hogy a szobatisztulási idő rövidebb, vagy hogy csökkented a naponta felhasznált mennyiséget, esetleg abszolút nem használsz pelenkát), közvetlenül hatással vagy a környezetedre. Ha az EC-t választod, teszel a változásért.

Ha esetleg azon gondolkodnál, hogy hogyan is mutat 27.4 billió pelenka… Elmondom, hogy a súlyuk kb. 3.4 millió tonna… ami 3,4 millió darab Volkswagen Bogár súlya {{tü-tűűű!}}, vagy 485 714 hatalmas, 7 tonnás afrikai elefánt súlya. Bolygónk legnagyobb szárazföldi emlős állata félmilliószor… {{elefánt trombitálás}}.

Minden. Egyes. Évben. Szemétbe. Kerül.

És ez csak az USA. 8. Segítség a szoptatásbanTudtad, hogy jellemző az anyatejes babákra, hogy kiköpik a cicit, ha pisilniük, vagy kakilniuk kell? Nehéz enniük és üríteniük is egyszerre.

Sajnálatos, hogy ezt a legtöbb anya (és szoptatási tanácsadó) helytelenül a túlevés, erős tejleadó reflex, vagy a kevés tej jelének veszi… amik komoly szoptatási problémák.

Ezek a félreértelmezések hozzájárulhatnak számtalan szoptatási probléma félrediagnosztizálásához, miközben az ilyesfajta leválás egyszerű oka lehet nem más, mint hogy a baba jelezni szeretné, hogy üríteni szeretne, éspedig nem az öledbe!

Továbbá néhányan ilyenkor be is fejezik a szoptatást, és elszalasztják a lehetőséget, hogy teljes mértékben jól lakjon babájuk. Talán nagyobb sikerrel lakatod jól a babádat, ha tartasz egy szünetet, biliztek, és folytatjátok a szoptatást, mintha megvárod a következő étkezést. 9. Magyarázat néhány ”megmagyarázhatatlan nyűgösködésre” és a hasfájásraAmikor újszülött kisbabám nyűgös volt, 10-ből 9-szer azt szerette volna közölni, hogy ürítenie kell. Elhiheted, gyorsan megtanultam a jeleket. Ha nem tudtam volna arról a természet adta képességéről, hogy jelezze, megfelelő helyre szeretne pisilni, kakilni, sosem fejtettem volna meg ezeket a rejtélyes, másféleképpen meg nem magyarázható Nyűgöske Úr pillanatokat.

Sok babát címkéznek fel ”hasfájónak”, amikor valójában csak hajthatatlanul és kitartóan azt szeretnék jelezni, hogy nem akarják sem magukat, sem téged, vagy pedig az alvóhelyüket összepiszkítani. Az is előfordulhat, hogy maga a pelenka ellen tiltakoznak vehemensen.

Valahol úgy a kisbabák 1/3-a és fele között fellépő sírás és nyűgösködés nem mást jelent, mint hogy ”Ki kell mennem, kérlek segíts.” 10. A pelenkakiütés elkerüléseA természetes csecsemőhigiéniával a babák nem ahhoz szoknak hozzá, hogy nedvességben, pisiben, kakában csücsülnek… ezáltal a pelenkakiütés és a bőr egészségtelen környezete okozta fertőzések sokkal kevésbé valószínűek.

Akár eldobható, akár mosható pelenkát használsz, ha az EC mellett mindösszesen arra figyelsz, hogy az új pelenka feladását megelőzően megszárítsd a nedves területeket, több mint valószínű, hogy nem fogsz pelenkakiütéssel találkozni. Sokaknak van pelenkakiütéssel kapcsolatos tapasztalata… lehet neked is. Egészen odáig is el merek menni, hogy azt mondom, a természetes csecsemőhigiénia a legjobb ellenszer pelenkakiütésre, és világelső annak megelőzésében.

A szabad popós idő (ami időszakosan egyaránt ajánlott, akár teljes idős, akár részidős EC-ztek) segít a popsi levegőztetésében és gyors segítséget nyújthat a pelenkakiütéssel vagy az azt okozó gombával szemben. Néha a mosható pelenka visszaadásával folytatódik a gomba burjánzása. A pelenka nélküli idő tökéletes alkalom a gyógyulásra. Adj a kezeléshez egy jó adag csodapopsikrémet, és … probléma megoldva.

Ezt az egész pelenkakiütéses problémát egy az egyben elkerülheted, ha már csecsemőkorban bilit használtok. 11. Szorulások elkerüléseA babáknak sokkal nagyobb nehézséget okoz a kakilás (sokkal jobban kell erőlködniük), ha vízszintesen fekszenek. A klasszikus EC póz egy ”mély guggolás”. Egész véletlenül az emésztőrendszerünk úgy lett kitalálva, hogy ebben a guggolásban működjön jól. 12. Kevesebb frusztrációSír a babád, és próbálsz rájönni, hogy pontosan mit is akar. Éhes? Fáradt? Fázik? Melege van? Fogzik? Pisilnie kell?

Ha ezek közül a változatos jelzések közül csak egyetlen egyet megfejtesz, már megmentheted a babádat egy csomó sírástól, hiszen mielőtt beszélni tudna, csak így tud kommunikálni. ”Ó, ezt a hangot szokta pisilés előtt csinálni. Megvan.”

Ahogy az idő múlik, a babákban kiépül a bizalom, hogy tudod mire van szüksége, és segíteni fogsz neki. Ennek eredményeképp kevésbé intenzívek, halkabbak lesznek ezek a sírások.

A természetes csecsemő higiénia alkalmazása amúgyis kevésbé frusztráló egy kisgyermek számára, mint a hagyományos bilire szoktatás, ami nagyon is össze tud zavarni egy gyereket, aki éveken át pelenkába végezte a dolgát. Most hogy említem, a hagyományos szobatisztulási módszerek a szülőnek is frusztrálóak tudnak lenni! Akár kislányoddal, akár kisfiaddal vágsz bele… ez a frusztráció csak erősödik 2 és 5 éves kor között. 13. Babád és testének megismeréseHa a babádat minél több vonatkozásban bensőségesen megismered, tudásod hihetetlenül jól fog kamatozni egy váratlan helyzetben. Nagyon előnyös tudni, hogy ami bemegy, mikor és milyen gyakorisággal jön ki.

Ha EC-zel, sokkal jobban rá fogsz hangolódni a felmerülő betegségekre és fejlődési mérföldkövekre, esetleges táplálkozási/allergiás/anyatejes problémákra és gyermeked személyiség fejlődésére is.

Néhány EC-s szülő még a húgyúti fertőzéseket is hamarabb beazonosítja, mint az egyébként EC nélkül lehetséges lenne.

Az EC-vel annyira közeli kapcsolatba kerülsz gyermeked testével, hogy hamar felismered, mi az, ami normális, és mi az, ami nem. 14. A gyerekek saját testükkel való kapcsolataA gyerekeknek is lehetőségük nyílik testük felfedezésére, amikor pelenka nélkül töltenek időt. Különös tekintettel az intim területekre.

Ez segítséget nyújt az egészséges szexuális identitás és nézőpont kifejlődésében. Megakadályozza, hogy bármiféle szégyenérzet alakuljon ki a nemiszervek körül, és végsősoron a szexualitással kapcsolatosan. Sok kigyerek jut arra a következtetésre, hogy az intim részeik ”csúnyák” vagy ”mocskosak”, és ezeknek a gondolatoknak a forrása nem más, minthogy évekig ezen részek körül hordják a kis wc-jüket, és látják a reakcióinkat, amikor éppen koszos pelenkát cserélünk! 15. A kommunikáció fejlesztéseAmint megtanulod gyermeked jelzéseit és reagálsz rájuk, fejlődik a kommunikációs csatornátok.

A természetes csecsemőhigiénia lehetőséget biztosít, hogy jó kommunikációs képességeket építs gyermekedben, mivel megerősítést kap, hogy amit kifejez, annak értéke van, és érdemes arra, hogy reagáljanak rá, ezzel bátorítva őket arra, hogy többet kommunikáljanak.

Ha még a baba jelnyelvet is bedobod a kalapba, élvezheted is a bimbózó társalgásokat. 16. Az önbecsülés építéseAz EC-s babák jól érzik magukat a bőrükben, mivel amikor segítségért kiáltanak, a szüleik reagálnak, és megpróbálnak segíteni. Ettől a gyerekek értékesnek érzik magukat, és érzik, hogy érdemes ehhez a világhoz tartozni. Amikor egy kis totyogó elsajátítja a mellékhelyiség használatának teljes folyamatát, az önbecsülése az egekbe szökik.

Az EC-s szülők pedig azért érzik magukat jól a bőrükben, mert megtapasztalhatják annak az örömét, hogy mennyivel gyakrabban (és rendszerint mélyebben) tudnak kapcsolódni a gyerekeikkel, mintha nem EC-znének. 17. A pucér babapopsi sokkal gyakoribb látványaKi ne akarna sokkal gyakrabban látni (és meggyömöszölni) egy cuki, tiszta és gyönyörű, pucér babapopót?

Személyes kedvenc érvem az EC mellett az, hogy állandóan láthattam a gyermekem pucér popsiját… puha volt, egészséges, és jó illata volt. El sem tudnám képzelni az életemet anélkül, hogy ennyit látnám.

Ne feledd, a ”pelenka nélküliség” nem állandó pucérkodást jelent… hanem azt, hogy a pelenkát nem eszközként használjuk, és nem hagyatkozunk rá 100%-osan. De igenis sok a babapopsis pillanat, és én mindet imádtam. 18. Több mókaA természetes csecsemőhigiénia eléggé mókás tud lenni. Grimaszolás a tükörben, amikor a csapnál pisiltek. Bilidalok éneklése, amint mindketten éppen a wc-teken ültök. A természetben együtt pisilni… milyen izgi!

Gyermekeink követnek minket mindenhová, meg akarják tanulni, hogy hogyan legyenek olyanok, mint a felnőtt emberek. Ha ebben partnerek vagyunk és ennek szellemében építjük fel a kapcsolatunkat, szülőnek és gyermeknek egyaránt több mókában lesz része.

És még egy pár előny… amiben az EC-vel részesülhetsz:

Megoldódhatnak a rejtélyes alvási problémák (sokszor azért kelnek fel a kisbabák, mert pisilniük kell, vagy nem bírnak megmaradni a nedves pelenkában)
Könnyebb az utazás (nem kell hatalmas pelenkautánpótlásról gondoskodni, bár lehet szükséged lesz egy hordozható bilire!)
Csökkenthető a jövőbeni fegyelmezéssel kapcsolatos kihívások mennyisége
Növeli a mozgékonyságot, és fejleszti a motoros készségeket, lehetőséget nyújt a korai önálló öltözködésre
Csökkenthető a hatalmi harcok és a pelenkacserékkel kapcsolatos szenvedés mennyisége
Segíti pár hiperaktív viselkedési minta megértését
Megtanítja a gyerekeknek a különbséget az ”engedd el” és a ”tartsd meg” között Ennyi lett volna. Egy kicsivel több, mint 18 ok, hogy miért is választják a szülők a ”pelenkanélküliséget” a hagyományos pelenkázási és szobatisztulási módszerek helyett.

Rendelkezésetekre bocsájtom ennek a résznek az írásos verzióját, csakúgy mint azokhoz az anyagokhoz a linkeket, amiket esetleg említettem. Ezeket itt találod meg:

GoDiaperFree.com/01

Kérlek tégy egy látogatást, ha szeretnél többet tudni az EC-ről. Egyik ismertető jegyem, hogy mindent közérthetően adok elő, szóval ne ijedj meg… csak vess egy pillantást ide.

Valamint óriási segítség lenne, ha megosztanád a gondolataidat a műsoromról az iTunes felületén az értékelések között. Új vagyok a műfajban és szimplán fejlődni szeretnék. Nagyra értékelném a visszajelzésedet és a támogatásodat!

Ha bármi eszedbe jut, amit szeretnél, hogy érintsek itt a podcast-ek között, tudasd velem és küldj egy emailt a címemre:

andrea@godiaperfree.com

A podcast sorozat 2. részében következő héten bele is csapunk a közepébe: Mi az az EC?, 1. rész. Az összes részt igyekszem úgy belőni, hogy 15 percesek, vagy inkább rövidebbek legyenek, hogy mindenki bele tudja préselni elfoglaltságai közé. A jövőbeni részekben ilyesmikre számíthatsz: rövid használati útmutatók, filozófiai háttér, kezdő és haladó anyagok, interjúk, sok-sok problémamegoldási terv, szülők igaz történetei, küszködések és sikerek, mindet azon évek alatt gyűjtöttem, amiket azzal töltöttem, hogy olyan szülőknek, mint amilyen te magad is vagy, segítsek EC-zni, belevágni vagy sikeresen folytatni azt. Kérlek iratkozz fel erre a podcast sorozatra az iTunes-ban, hogy hetente automatikusan megkaphass minden szaftos infót közvetlenül a készülékedre.

Találkozzunk következőnek is, és köszi, hogy rám hangolódtál!

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

What’s your biggest reason for going diaper-free?
I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Resource RecommendationGo Diaper Free: my popular EC book that simplifies EC, beginning to end

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on June 10th, 2013

The post Why parents are going diaper-free: The stark benefits of elimination communication appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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Surprise! We are re-launching the podcast! With over a decade of guidance, questions from the community, troubleshooting tips, encouragement, and more, we’re refreshing the original episodes and bringing back all shiny and new. Whether you’re wrapping up your last kiddo or just hearing about elimination communication for the first time, there’s something for everyone. Tune in to hear what you can expect coming up on the Great Podcast Re-set.

You Will Hear:* Why we’re re-launching the podcast * What to look forward to over the next several months * How to get plugged into our community, no matter what stage you’re in * How to find a local group, or start one yourself!

Links and other resources mentioned today:* Go Diaper Free Book * Tiny Potty Training Book * Private EC Support Group on Facebook * Private Potty Training Support Group on Facebook * Go Diaper Free Store * Tiny Undies Store * Contact Us + Join the Newsletter

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript Download - We're starting over

Read the full written transcript - We're starting overExpandEPISODE 268: We’re starting over!

Nicole:
Surprise! We're starting over. This is the great re-set. We are relaunching the podcast. There's tons of great stuff coming up and all of the details are here in today's episode.

Thanks so much for joining me. Welcome back. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast and I'm your host, Nicole Cheever. If you don't know me, I'm a Go Diaper Free certified coach, mama of three, I've done elimination communication and potty training with each of my three kids at different ages and stages, and I've been hosting the podcast here for almost a year and a half, I think.

It's been a wonderful ride, and we've realized that our podcast here – we're on episode 268. So when you're done listening today, make sure you head over to godiaperfree.com/268. I have a few resources I'm going to mention today and they will all be linked over there. The transcript is over there. If you're listening on your favorite podcast player or watching on YouTube, make sure you hit that subscribe button because there's a ton of goodness coming up for you. Kind of a relaunched goodness, but still we're shining it up, making it a little bit new, and we've got everything there for you.

What we've come to find with the podcast here, and really with the Go Diaper Free community, is even though each of our babies is so unique and wonderful, there's obviously a lot we all have in common. Our babies are human babies, just like we have growth charts and developmental milestones that we can kind of expect as a loose guide. It's really similar with elimination communication. If you own the Go Diaper Free book or the Tiny Potty Training book and you flip to that troubleshooting section, your baby is probably not going to experience each and every one of those troubleshooting topics. Your family probably isn't going to go through all of that, but almost everyone is going to experience at least one of those at one point. So we have a lot of common ground.

Babies grow up. Even if you have them back to back – maybe you started EC with your first baby at birth, and then they were out of diapers, and then you had another baby – it's still probably a year or more since you've done this, and so you kind of need a refresh.

So we were finding with the podcast, rather than trying to rehash all of the same information to help those of you that are new or at all of these different transition phases or going through these really common troubleshooting topics, we wanted to go back to all of the goodness that's already there, spruce it up, get it ready to relaunch again and have it ready for you from the beginning. Rather than letting those old podcast episodes sit there and collect dust, we want to bring them back out in the light again.

The big thing you're going to notice when we're going back through all of these – and if you're plugged into one of our communities, which obviously I highly recommend – is even if you're the only person in your community or your family or your area who's even never heard of elimination communication, truly, you're not alone. We have such a diverse and rich community from all over the world. So please make sure you get plugged in there. When you purchase one of the books, you get access to the private book owners area that's currently housed on Mighty Networks. Other seasoned parents in the community are giving you tips and tricks. I'm usually in there answering questions too, so you're really going to find that you're truly not alone. We also have the free Facebook groups for both elimination communication and potty training. I'll make sure I link those on the show notes.

It can seem really scary when you're going through this the first time. So that's why we've built this really robust community to try and show you, again, that you're not alone and we're really here to support you. Just in the podcast and the blog alone, we have over a decade of guidance, questions from the community, troubleshooting topics, encouragement, interviews, ways that EC affects other things like sleep or eating and vice versa. We really have a ton of information here. So again, instead of trying to recreate the wheel all the time or find new topics – because really, our babies all are really similar and we all have a lot of common ground – we thought we would just bring back these classic episodes that have so much gold in them. And they'll be new for you, and I know you're going to enjoy them.

Something that you can look forward to, I'm going to preview here a little bit of what we've got coming up in the next couple of months with relaunching the podcast. Of course, we're obviously going to have episodes about what is elimination communication and why people are choosing it, even in modern-day Westernized, heavily diapered cultures. We have a couple tips on things to avoid with elimination communication: how you can do part-time EC, which is a personal favorite of mine; elimination communication vocabulary; the four roads to potty times; some myths; easy catches. I mean, it's really all in there.

So even if this is your first baby, you're brand new, you literally just heard about elimination communication, we're not leaving you down and out. We've got a ton of great information for you here.

That's pretty much it for today. Make sure you head over to the blog. Again, it's godiaperfree.com/268. Make sure you subscribe, and you're going to be getting those weekly emails or the notifications on whichever app you're on. If you're on a podcast app and you've subscribed, you'll get your normal notifications that we've got a new episode coming out. We're still going to have new content on the blog as well. Our coaches write articles for us pretty regularly, and so we will start sending those out in emails also when we've got new content coming up on the blog for you. The blog is really great. We've got a ton of articles on there with pictures and graphics and little short how-to videos. So I'll link that to the podcast show notes here as well at godiaperfree.com/268.

When you head over to the blog there, please leave us some comments. Let us know what you thought about the podcast so far, if you're excited for the relaunch. And what I really want to hear from everybody is: what stage of elimination communication are you in right now? So leave that in the comments. Tell us where you are. Are you a seasoned pro? Is this your first time ever hearing about it? Do you have three kids that you've EC-ed from birth? Where are you?

Again, thank you so much for being part of our community. This really is such a blessing to so many of us, myself included. I started as a part of the community before I became a coach, and it's absolutely life-changing. So thanks for being here. Thanks so much for being with me this last year or more on the podcast. I'm excited to see you all around on Mighty Networks and socials. Follow us on Instagram, follow us on Facebook. We've got a ton of goodness for all of you. Thanks so much. Love you guys. See you soon.

Want to catch your first pee today? Grab Andrea's free easy start guide, and do just that. It's only one page and it will change your world. Get it at godiaperfree.com/start. We'll see you next time.

Watch the Video Version (new!)If you want to watch the recording of today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

What stage of Elimination Communication are you currently in?xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

The post We’re starting over appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on February 16th, 2018

Many parents want to start Elimination Communication with their babies as early as possible. When they find out that EC can be started at birth, the first question is:

How do you hold a newborn baby over the potty?My first response is (as the image above illustrates): well...it doesn't necessarily have to be done over a potty!

Let me explain before you get too grossed out:

Newborn poop is benign, and the pee, right when it comes out, is actually sterile. (The poop of an exclusively breastfed baby is said by various sources to be sterile, as well, but I can't be 100% sure.)

So, pottying over the sink or wherever you happen to be is actually much more hygienic than using the diaper as a full-time toilet and having your baby sit in it for a while.

You can rinse the sink and sanitize it much more quickly than cleaning up that nasty newborn explosive blowout.

And, babies sitting in newborn poop often get diaper rash...it is not good for the baby's skin, at all.

If you know me, I am quite practical and love using visuals to teach about EC. So, in today's post I've included a bunch of photos to show how to hold a newborn baby in position (these are from the 70+ positions photo gallery in my popular EC book).

I've also included some photos of how to use my favorite newborn potty, the top hat potty, with a newborn baby...because the top hat is the #1 tool I insist people carry in their diaper-free bags.

Okay, onward to the most popular newborn EC positions.

The most popular newborn potty positionsClassic EC PositionThis is the most common elimination communication position and a great one for newborns. It can be used EVERYWHERE. Baby's back and neck are supported by your chest, and baby is loosely held by the thighs and 'pointed' in the direction of the receptacle. For a boy, simply use your finger to aim.

Here are several photos of the classic EC hold in various settings, using various receptacles:

Cradled Classic Position:If your baby hates the classic position, cradled classic can help her relax while also encouraging her to pee in a hygienic place. Same as the classic, but this time you cradle baby in the crook of your elbow. Again, great idea to aim a boy's stream with your finger.

Here are a few photos showing the preparation of the arm and then laying the baby in the crook of the arm to use this very gentle EC position in many environments:

Pottying while Nursing/Breastfeeding Position:Many newborn babies poop while nursing, and the signal they typically give right beforehand is called "popping off the breast" - in other words, the baby can not stay latched and her head bobs off and on. It doesn't mean your milk supply is too high, or your let down is too strong...it sometimes means that baby just doesn't want to use the bathroom while having his tasty meal! (I can't blame him.)

If your baby pops off the breast while nursing, and you see her grimace or bear down or push (or not - it can be stealthy, too), you can continue nursing over a pad or pull baby off for a moment to potty over a pad (or a bowl, or a top hat potty, or the ground) to relieve herself and then return to the breast - to finish the full meal. (It is always easier to eat once you've paused to relieve yourself, right?)

Again, best to aim a boy's parts into the top hat potty or toward the pad by tilting the potty, positioning the pad, and/or aiming at either receptacle with your finger.

Here is one image of nursing over a pad (the baby would be naked-bottomed in this case), and one of nursing over a top hat potty in the car (because who wants to clean up a blow-out while out and about?? Much easier to "catch" it in the top hat potty, which you hold between your thighs while sitting.):

Top Hat Potty Positions:Like I've already mentioned above, the best newborn potty, hands-down, is the top hat potty. It is compact, lightweight, and comfortable for baby to relax and relieve herself in most any situation including on-the-go, at night, on the bed, on the couch...anywhere.

(And mine come with a potty cozy to keep the seat comfortable and warm, and an extra wide rubber band to keep the potty from slipping out from between your legs - ask me how I know.)

But, Andrea, how exactly do you hold a newborn over a top hat potty?

Here are some photos featuring the top hat potty in a variety of situations. For boys (and some girls) who pee straight out, simply tilt the potty toward yourself like in the photos below:

And here is a video of me demonstrating how to use a top hat potty with then-few-month-old Branson:

And while we're talking about pottying newborns....

All you need to know about starting EC at birth-4 months oldIn addition to my popular, comprehensive, how-to-oriented book, Go Diaper Free, we now have the comprehensive program on starting at birth with newborn Elimination Communication: The Golden Window Newborn EC Program. It has tons of bonus footage of me pottying my hours-, days-, and weeks-old babies, myself.

And that's it for today, folks!

The most popular newborn EC positions, complete with doll photos and a darn cute baby (if I might say so, myself).

Did I miss your favorite newborn elimination communication potty position? Is one of these your current faves? If so, please post about it in the comments, below. I truly love hearing from you.

Til next time....

Watch the Video Version (new!)If you want to watch the recording of today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

Resource RecommendationGetting EC Back on Track: a minicourse that walks you through observation, logging, and getting back on the EC wagon.

Potty Time Master: is my minicourse about the "when" behind pottying your baby.

The Golden Window Newborn EC Course: A deep dive into how to start EC with your newborn baby

Go Diaper Free: my popular EC book that simplifies EC, beginning to end.

The post How to hold a newborn for elimination communication appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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This is a guest post from Lisa "Dee" Perusse, our certified coach in Montreal, Quebec. Some links here may earn her a referral commission. We only refer to products or services we’ve actually tried and think are super useful, because we’re practical and helpful like that. :) ALSO, because these are tough times, financially, there’s…

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This is a guest post from
Erica Grant, our certified coach in Glasgow, MT. Some links here may earn her a referral commission. We only refer to products or services we’ve actually tried and think are super useful, because we’re practical and helpful like that. :) Double the trouble, or double the fun? What do you do with two or more babies who need to pee at the same time when you only have two hands? Tune in for this week’s listener-submitted question asking how to juggle twins and EC, plus some expert advice from one of our certified coaches who is a twin mama herself. This episode is chock-full of great tips for any parent, whether you have singletons or multiples, so don’t miss it!

You Will Hear:* Schedule recommendations for starting EC with twins under a year old * How to handle EC with twins during outings * Tips for surviving potty pauses and sleep regressions * What to do when EC is clicking with one baby but not the other * Strategies for protecting your mindset and avoiding EC burnout

Links and other resources mentioned today:* EC + Potty Training with Twins - Podcast #82 * Mini Potty * Tips for EC and potty training in public - Podcast #248 * Book - Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins * YouTube Easy Catches series * The Diaper Change - Podcast #29 * Easy Start Guide for EC - Free Download * 3-day Primer for Starting Potty Training - Email Series * Go Diaper Free Book * Tiny Potty Training Book * Go Diaper Free Store * Tiny Undies Store * Contact Us + Join the Newsletter

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript Download - Elimination Communication with Twins

Read the full written transcript - Elimination Communication with TwinsExpandEPISODE 249: Elimination Communication with Twins

Nicole Cheever:
Double the trouble, or double the fun? What do you do with two or more babies who need to pee at the same time when you only have two hands? We've got a listener-submitted question this week asking how to juggle twins and EC, plus some expert advice from one of our certified coaches who is a twin mama herself. Even if your babies are all singletons, this episode is chock-full of great tips, so stick around. This is episode 249, Elimination Communication with Twins.

Hello and welcome to the Go Diaper Free podcast. I'm your host, Nicole Cheever, Go diaper free certified coach and mama to three kiddos who all went through EC and potty training at different ages and stages.

Hey there, welcome back to the podcast. Thanks for joining me today. I'm Nicole Cheever with Go Diaper Free and this is episode 249, Elimination Communication with Twins. Please make sure you head on over to godiaperfree.com/249 when you're done listening and check out the show notes. I'll have the transcript over there, links to everything I mentioned, you can ask us questions, and leave us comments. If you're listening on your favorite podcast player, please make sure to subscribe and leave us a review. And if you're on YouTube, make sure you hit that subscribe button as well. Today we've got a listener-submitted question about how to start elimination communication with twins. Now, even though most of the advice today is going to be geared towards families with twins and multiples, there is a lot here that's relevant for singletons. So if you're not a twin mommy or daddy, please make sure you stick around. I think you're really going to find some benefits from this episode.

A while back, Andrea recorded episode 82, which was tips she'd learned from the community about doing EC with twins. Today we're going to talk a little bit more specifically about how to start EC with twins that are newborns or infants, a little bit younger. Not that you have to start them then, of course. It's never a bad time to start EC, but this question specifically, you'll hear in a second, was about starting with little, tiny babies.

Most of the advice I've got today for you is from one of our other certified coaches, Erica Grant out of Glasgow, Montana. She's a software engineer and mama of identical twin girls who have a singleton little brother. So thanks to Erica for helping me out with this today. Let's go ahead and take a listen to the question.

Sasha:
Hi, my name is Sasha, I am in Fairbanks, Alaska and I have 12 week old twin baby girls. I was wondering if you have any tips for twins. A lot of times it's difficult to potty everyone when they need because I'm with the other baby. So I was just wondering if you had any tips or tricks that relates specifically to ECing twins. Thanks.

Nicole:
Thanks so much, Sasha. Not going to lie, those cute little baby gurgles are giving me some baby fever right now. That's just too precious. The first thing that Erica suggested when I brought this up to her was doing what she calls a half day split. And this is her recommendation if you're starting with twins anytime before about a year old. What this means is starting with baby A in the morning and having that half of the day be elimination communication with baby A, and then switching gears to doing pottytunities with baby B in the afternoon. And that can go either way, whichever you think is better, whichever twin you think would do better in the morning or the afternoon, but it would be good to keep it consistent.

She says that this is going to take care of two big mental hurdles that she experienced with doing EC with twins and that she's found that a lot of other twin parents face. The first one is that you have to force yourself to not be perfect. And this of course is great advice for everybody. But especially with twins, when you have more babies than sometimes you have hands available, switching that mindset to not focusing on catching 100% or anywhere near that, especially with twins, is super important. What it does is it builds in a consistent “let it go” time for you, so that when you're working with one baby and just focusing on one baby, you've given yourself permission to let it go, to not worry about the other baby's potty needs, at least for that part of the day. It gives you a little bit of that mental break, helps encourage you that it's going to be okay, even if you're letting some pees or possibly poops go. But with babies that young, she definitely recommends the half day split.

The other benefit of the half day split that Erica wanted to highlight is that the babies will start to become regular when they have a regular schedule. So if you're catching morning pees with baby A, baby B knows that their pottytunities are going to come in the afternoon. For example, when they wake up from an afternoon nap, that's when they can start, and you'll take advantage of that. Just like singleton parents, your babies are going to catch on to the routine pretty quickly. We are creatures of habit, humans understand patterns very well, so that is going to be working in your favor when you're doing a half day split.

She has a couple other recommendations that she says are a lot like potty training. So if you've got twins and they're not newborns, pay attention to this portion, it's going to be very similar if you're going to be doing potty training with them. You want to have several potties around the house.
Even as a singleton mama, I believe that you can never have too many potties, especially when you're in the process of wrapping up, potty training, ditching diapers, it's good to have them everywhere. You will be able to dial back and reduce the number of potties, but to start out with, you can't have too many potties.

Another suggestion she has, because it can be really difficult to potty twins in public… episode 248 was Tips for Pottying in Public, and when I released that, I only did it from the singleton perspective. Of course you're going to be doing even more fumbling and juggling if you've got two babies, so it's much easier to do a car potty before you go in anywhere or after you come out. So she suggests making sure you have one, maybe two potties in the car, so that way you can take care of it there rather than having to deal with it in a public restroom. She also suggested pottying one baby while the other one is still in the car seat, that way you have the second baby still contained. The baby containers are definitely helpful when you've got multiples, right? So you can take one baby out, put them on the potty, especially if you're going grocery shopping or something, you can then maybe put them in the cart. And the other baby, baby B, is still in the car seat, and then they'll have their turn afterward.

She said with twins, most of it is just really being consistent, going with the flow, and remembering that you're going to hit sleep regressions, potty pauses, just like singleton babies. Sometimes one baby will be rocking it and the other baby won't be quite getting it, so try not to get discouraged when that happens. When she told me this, I asked her specifically, what would you do in that case? If you've got one baby who it's really clicking for and the other one is struggling, do you want to focus on the baby who is doing well and just stick with that, or how would you handle it? And she recommended to me that you stay consistent with both babies, no matter what. Because, especially with potty training for her, she dealt with some jealousy. If you go back to that episode I mentioned, episode 82, there's a recommendation for a stagger start when you're doing potty training. Well, Erica's experience was different, and obviously all kids have different temperaments and different personalities, so it's important to just tune in to what you think in your mama heart, or your daddy heart, will work best for your babies.

Erica dealt with some jealousy. She had one baby who was doing great with wrapping up and she thought, "Oh great, I can get her out of diapers and have her all finished up really quick, and then move on to focusing with the baby that was struggling a little bit." Well, what her baby who was struggling really needed to know was she was confident in her and believed that she could still do it. So they needed to go together, she needed that consistency.

Just like with singletons, consistency is really key. Moving forward, sticking to those easy catches and those little wins, so that you can keep moving forward even when it feels like it's starting to fall apart. So because of that experience, Erica always recommends that you start twins at the same time, and that they can actually help build each other up and grow together while they're going through the process together. They have that built-in potty buddy, just like they have that built-in friend for life.

Back quickly to the sleep regressions. Erica highly recommends for any parent, including singleton parents, to get a physical copy of the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins. She said it's half the length of the singleton version because it's just the bare bones what you need, it's organized by age. So that way if you think you're in a sleep regression, you can find the age in the book and see real life examples of people with twins of different temperaments and how they tried different approaches and what might work for your family. She said it's like a cheat sheet for sleep regressions, especially with twins, but also for singletons. So I will put a link to that book in the show notes as well.

For potty pauses, and sleep regressions, or just regressions in general, she says the best way to go through them and still keep your sanity and not get burned out with EC, is to recognize the moment that you are in and shift to the bare minimum approach. We always recommend this, regardless of how many babies you have, you can dial back to just the easy catches. And of course, not all the easy catches, if the easy catches are burning you out or they're not easy for you, then they're not easy. So just the easy catches that are going to work, just doing one or two diaper change pottytunities a day. In her experience, it's harder to pick the ball back up and get it rolling again with EC if you let it completely go. And I would agree with that. As a parent who did EC with my first and then completely let it go, when you're not staying consistent and you're not still working at least one or two little pottytunities into your daily routine, it's so much harder down the line to really get the courage, and get the enthusiasm, to pick it back up. So if you at least just keep a handful of pottytunities with each baby, even when it feels like everything's falling apart, and even if you don't actually get anything in the potty, as long as you're keeping that part of your routine, it will keep you going, help you not get burned out, and maintain that level of contact and level of awareness with EC while you get through whatever that pause or regression is.

And again, if one baby is really rocking it, you can do more catches with that baby. And if the other baby is struggling, you still want to keep that schedule with the other baby to let them know that you are confident in them, you do believe that they can get it back together. Because you never know when it's going to start clicking again. If we as parents get in our heads and we decide that this just isn't working out for our babies, well that's a self-fulfilling prophecy. It will already be a foregone conclusion, and our baby will continue to struggle, partially because they've seen that we don't have confidence in them, or we just don't find it important anymore, so why should they? If we keep that consistency with our children and show them that we believe in them and that we're confident in them, they will succeed, they will pick it back up. And because we don't ever know when that's going to happen, it's better to just stay consistent, so that as soon as it does start to click again, you can get the ball rolling and you can pick it back up together.

That's it for today's episode. Sasha, I hope you found that helpful. And everyone else listening, I hope you got some good advice, whether you're twin, triplet, quad parents, or singleton parents. Please head over again to the blog, godiaperfree.com/249 and let us know, do you have tips for practicing EC with twins or triplets or quads, any number of multiples? Please share your tips and your experiences on the blog.

Thanks again so much for joining me today. I'm Nicole Cheever with Go Diaper Free. Please follow us on your podcast player, YouTube and all of our socials, and we will see you next week.

You want to catch your first pee today? Grab Andrea's free easy start guide and do just that. It's only one page and it will change your world. Get it at godiaperfree.com/start. We'll see you next time.

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I hear it every summer: “We want to start potty training, but we're going on a road trip.” - “We're going to be on vacation, so there's no point in starting until we get back.” - “We're just going to have to put her back in diapers for the car ride anyway, right?” Hear the…

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You Will Hear:* How to set realistic expectations for pottying during travel * Tips for setting both yourself and your child up for success on the road * Helpful gear and equipment for EC and potty training on road trips * What to consider before adding anything to your car seat to prevent soiling * Why travel is never a reason to go back to diapers if you’ve completed potty training

Links and other resources mentioned today:* Go Diaper Free Book * Tiny Potty Training Book * EC While Out + About MiniCourse * The Bundle - All 7 MiniCourses * Mini Potty * Potette Plus travel potty seat * Potette Plus disposable liners * Dyper compostable diapers * TinyUps cloth pull-up covers * GroVia Reusable Hybrid Cloth Diaper * How to Solve Road Trip Potty Resistance - Podcast #189 * Potette Plus travel potty seat * Blog post - The Ultimate Guide to Traveling with Elimination Communication * Easy Start Guide for EC - Free Download * 3-day Primer for Starting Potty Training - Email Series * Go Diaper Free Store * Tiny Undies Store

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript Download - Potty Training and Driving
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Read the full written transcript - Potty Training and DrivingExpandEPISODE 237: Potty Training and Driving

You guys, I hear this every summer: “We want to start potty training, but we're going on a road trip. We're going to be on vacation, so there's no point in starting until we get back. We're just going to have to put her back in diapers for the car ride anyway, right?” Hear the answer on today's episode. This is 237, Potty Training and Driving.

Hello and welcome to the Go Diaper Free podcast. I'm your host, Nicole Cheever, Go Diaper Free certified coach and mama to three kiddos who all went through EC and potty training at different ages and stages.

Hey everyone, welcome back to the podcast. I'm Nicole Cheever with Go Diaper Free, and this is episode 237, Potty Training and Driving, Road Trip Success for Elimination Communication and Potty Training. You can find the show notes at godiaperfree.com/237. Please head over there when you're done listening, let us know if you have any questions, leave us comments, and of course, you can find the show notes there, download the transcript, and get links to everything I talk about on the episode today.

Summer's coming up. A lot of us like to take long drives and either go on vacations, visit family, or just take day trips during summer. I wanted to have this episode ready for you so that you could have a little bit of confidence heading into that season. Hopefully, this will also, in part answer the question, “do I have to stay home while practicing EC or during potty training?” Because that's a big question we get a lot at Go Diaper Free. If I start practicing EC, aren't I just going to be stuck at home watching my baby all the time? Short answer, no. You can absolutely go out and about with EC, and the same thing with potty training. Some people think they have to lock themselves in the house for three days or a week or whatever they've heard, and just potty train and do nothing else.

Last week's episode dove into when you can expect your child to be completed with EC or totally potty trained by, and one of the things we talked about was the fact that once you've done the actual training, there's still some maintenance to do. Your child is still going to take on more and more independence as they grow and get older and as you hand over the reins. One of the considerations when you're thinking about doing a road trip while you're in the midst of potty training is the fact that your child is still maybe going to need some help. Let's say it's a month before your road trip and you decide to do a week long potty training experience. Hopefully, you've got the Tiny Potty Training book and you use that plan because it's definitely the best one out there. I've used it on two out of three of my kids, and in fact, used a lot of those strategies to wrap up my third, and it's just clear. It cuts out all of the noise and the nonsense, and gives you a really easy actionable plan, and it's also something to fall back on if you hit any kind of backsliding or resistance further down the road. So, it's really helpful to go back, regroup and get back on track.

But even if your child has been fully potty trained or completed for a whole month, there are still some considerations while on the road, like how well your child signals or tells you they need to go potty in the car seat, or what kind of seat reducer they prefer. I'm going to talk a little bit today about setting yourself up for success. The Go Diaper Free book has really easy instructions for taking short trips. The first tip I'm going to give you is, practice using short trips at home. Whether you're doing EC or potty training, figure out the best routine for you and your child when you're out and about. We do have a MiniCourse, EC While Out and About, and that's great for you whether you're totally terrified to leave the house doing EC or whether you're completely ready and willing, you just need some direction, so check that out.

Being close to home is a great time to experiment with what kind of back-up is going to be best for your child in the car and what kind of potty or seat reducer is going to work best for them out in public. The mini potty is great for the car. I have it in both my car and our family vehicle we take on road trips. I have a hatchback, so I sometimes do what I call a “trunk potty,” or if you've got a minivan, you can put it on the floor. You can also just open one of the car doors and use a stroller or your body to shield and have it there on the ground, and it's easy to clean, easy to dump, easy to pack. That's a great option. A lot of people also like the Potette Plus because that's one that can be either a mini potty or a seat reducer, so it does double duty. If you use it as the mini potty, there are both disposable and reusable liners that come with it, or we've heard from a lot of our listeners and readers that an empty sour cream container works really well, just sat down on the ground right under the Potette Plus, and then you can stick the lid on it when it's done and dispose of it later.

I mentioned back-ups, so if you're planning a big road trip and you're practicing EC, you can always just use the back-up for what it's for in the car, which is catching the pee or poop when you're not able to get to baby, or when it's just not a convenient time. Even those of us who practice full-time EC don't try to catch everything. It's really unrealistic in this modern society with carpets and cars and all of the busyness that we have. Using a back-up, whether it's a diaper, a compostable diaper, TinyUps, a cloth diaper, whatever you want to use, that can always be an option when you're practicing EC.

Another great tip, whether it's EC or potty training, is to leave before a sleep time. If you are heading somewhere that's just two or three hours away and you can leave half an hour before bedtime, maybe your child will fall asleep in the car a little bit sooner, and you can arrive with a sleeping baby. That's always my preference. But maybe you're leaving early in the day or in the middle of the day, and if you can hit it just a little while before nap time, catch a pee or catch a poop right before you get in the car, then your baby can sleep for that first stretch and that can get you ahead on your journey.

Keeping your expectations low is really important. For my family of five, a two-and-a-half hour trip that we do pretty regularly can usually take us about four hours. We've got five bladders in the car, and of course, they all have varying degrees of capability as far as how long they can hold it. Our youngest, who's now 19 months, also sometimes cries wolf with the potty. She'll say potty just because she's tired of being in the car seat, so then we pull over, get her out, and then she's harder to get back in and wants to fuss. There are definitely some nuances and some learning with your specific child, but we did take an eight-hour drive, or what would be an eight-hour drive if we did it straight through, when she was 13 months old, and it took us 12 hours. For me, I thought that wasn't really that bad. Yes, it was long. Yes, we were all exhausted. Yes, it took all day, but I know as they get older it will get better.

Those are my main tips for EC on the go. I'm going to get into potty training, but first I'll mention episode 189, which is How to Solve Road Trip Resistance with EC, and that's a great episode to listen to if you're doing EC out and about, but you're starting to meet some resistance with it. Check that out if that's your situation.

Now, if you're potty training or if you're using a potty training experience to wrap up EC, once you have gotten to steps two and three in phase one, which are small clothed outings and then moving to clothing both in home and out of the home, you've done the training, your child is potty trained, and now you're doing some maintenance. Again, setting yourself up for success by continuing to do those small outings, and especially in the car, is going to build both you and your child's confidence.

If you've potty trained, you've gotten to the point where you're done with phase one and you're into phase two which is daytime maintenance, do not go back to diapers. Going back to diapers shows your hand in a sense, shows your child you didn't mean it, and that you still consider diapers an option. As soon as they realize that, they're going to capitalize on it, and you're going to get yourself into a cycle where every time you bring the diapers back and every time you have to go back through that potty training process, it's most likely going to be harder on both of you.

This is the type of strategy that tends to land parents in a situation of constipation where the child is withholding poop until they get the diaper because they know it's an option still, they know you didn't mean it the first time they potty trained, and so they're going to keep waiting longer and longer and longer until they get it. These are the kinds of things that can actually be physically harmful to our children. Clinical constipation requires medical attention. You can get into the realm of UTIs and kidney infections with holding their bladder for too long. So if you have gotten through the process of the actual training, and you're just working on reliability and reminding and prompting and general potty habits, do not go back to diapers. Do not use a diaper in the car, and remember, a pull-up is a diaper. Your child feels like they're wearing a diaper. It works just like a diaper. It's just more expensive and doesn't have the tabs on the sides. That's the literal only difference. Day-to-day life post-potty training is a time to continue to stay the course, not backpedal. It's not a time to go back to diapers. It's not a time to give up if they regress all of a sudden. We stay the course. It is a time to continue demonstrating and teaching. And yes, you may have a family road trip planned in the middle of that teaching, so set yourself up for success by practicing with the small car trips and building both you and your child's confidence.

Along that vein, let's talk about safety because if you're not going to be able to use a diaper, many parents will want to put something in the car seat. Now, I am not a car seat safety professional in any way, shape, or form. I'm not going to provide any links or resources to this part of the podcast because it's your responsibility as the parent to do your research and decide who to trust in this arena, but I am going to mention a few things that are easily found in any car seat manual. In the handbook, manual registration packet, whatever materials come with your child's safety restraint, your car seat. It is going to tell you not to ever, ever, ever add anything to the car seat that didn't come with it or isn't specifically made for it and allowed by the manufacturer.

Anything aftermarket, meaning it did not come with your car seat, can say that it's crash tested, but unfortunately, none of those products are federally regulated, at least not here in the U.S. This can be vetted with a quick internet search. You can just type in, “are aftermarket car seat accessories crash tested?” or “are they regulated?” and it will tell you that they can say that they've been crash tested, but there are no standards. There's no way to tell what the safety is of those products. The exception is, for example, Britax. I have a Britax car seat, and they sell a waterproof pad that can go in their car seat. That's the only one I can use with that car seat, and I cannot use it in my Graco car seat or in my Baby Jogger car seat. I have to use that product in my car seat that it was manufactured for and in the car seat that the manufacturer allows it to be used in. There are a couple reasons for this, and again, I'm going to leave it to you to look into it more, but from my understanding, it can cause slipping, and it can also cause the harness to be too loose. Many of us know that it's not safe to put our child in a puffy winter jacket in the car seat because you can't tighten the harness down enough and children can slip out from between the harness straps. If you want to be as safe as possible with your children in the car, do not add anything to the car seat, or on the harness, that includes clipping toys to the harness, but when you're trying to keep it dry, do not add anything to the actual car seat.

Like I mentioned earlier in the episode, if you're practicing EC, you see you can use a back-up that's clothing that's on your child. Personally, in my opinion, I don't feel really safe putting a cloth diaper on my child in the car seat because they can be really bulky. It can also cause a lot of compression leaks strapped down in the car seat and then you're just cleaning up pee anyway, so we always used to use disposables on road trips when we were practicing EC. Now that we are wrapped up, we just try to time our stops when we know or we think our baby's going to have to go potty. We are surprised sometimes, and yes, it's a pain to clean pee out of a car seat or travel with a car seat that's been peed and in smells, but for my family, it's more important to keep them safe than to worry about a wet car seat. We have some cloth diapers, prefold diapers, in the car that we can use to soak it up, try to press into the car seat, and then we take them out, put the baby back in and change clothing when we get to our destination.

That's my little speech on car seat safety. Make sure when you're practicing EC or potty training, that you're doing it in a safe manner. And yes, it's probably going to prolong your journey a little bit longer than you wanted to. It's not going to be convenient. Pottying is almost never convenient with small children, regardless if you're doing it at six months or three years, so prepare yourself for that mentally, emotionally, and logistically. Plan your stops accordingly. Practice at home. Get your child used to the potty seat reducer that you're going to use in the public restroom so you don't have resistance, and you're going to be fine. Remember, this too shall pass. Your children will get older. They will grow. Next summer will be totally different from this summer.

If you're not traveling by car, or even if you are, and you want to hear some more advice on traveling with babies and doing EC, Andrea wrote a blog post that's The Ultimate Guide to Traveling with Elimination Communication. She did a ton of traveling with her youngest, Kaiva. They went to Thailand, they went camping, to different festivals, all within his first year of life, and so you can check that blog post out and get a lot of great tips for planes, trains, automobiles, you name it.

Now, I want to hear from you. What are your best tips for EC or potty training on the road? If you haven't tried it yet, what tip did you hear today that you're excited to try? Head on over to godiaperfree.com/237 and let us know what your plans are for this summer or what's worked for you in the past. Help our community out and give us your best tips. Next week, we're going to do a little bit more troubleshooting with some questions about what to do when your child won't sit on the potty. Until then, I'm Nicole Cheever with Go Diaper Free. Thanks so much for joining me and I'll see you next time.

Want to catch your first pee today? Grab Andrea's free easy start guide and do just that. It's only one page and it will change your world. Get it at godiaperfree.com/start. We'll see you next time.

Watch the Video Version If you want to watch the recording of today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Resource RecommendationGo Diaper Free: my popular EC book that simplifies EC, beginning to end

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
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What are your best tips for EC or potty training on the road?xx Andrea

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With all of the conflicting information - and opinions - out there, how do we as parents set realistic expectations for EC and potty training? Tune in this week as Nicole cuts through all the noise to bring you the facts about what age you can expect your LO to be wrapped up by, and how you can help the process along.

You Will Hear:* The 5 outcomes that indicate your child has been officially potty trained * What age(s) completion is usually possible by * How to determine whether your child is capable of being wrapped-up or potty trained * Tips for reaching completion as soon as developmentally possible and appropriate * How to match your expectations of potty independence with your child’s experience and capability

Links and other resources mentioned today:* Go Diaper Free Book * Tiny Potty Training Book * Tiny Undies small baby underwear * Mini Potty * Private EC Support Group on Facebook * Private Potty Training Support Group on Facebook * Go Diaper Free Store * Tiny Undies Store

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

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Read the full written transcript - What age should a child be potty trained by?ExpandEPISODE 236: What age should a child be potty trained by?

Hello, and welcome to the Go Diaper Free podcast. I'm your host, Nicole Cheever, Go Diaper Free Certified Coach and mama to three kiddos who all went through EC and potty training at different ages and stages.

Hello and thanks for joining me on the podcast again today. I'm Nicole Cheever with Go Diaper Free, and this is episode 236. What age should a child be potty trained by? You can find the show notes at godiaperfree.com/236. Head over there when you're done listening to find the show notes, ask questions, leave comments, and find all the links to everything I'm going to talk about today.

This is the million dollar question. What age should a child be potty trained by, and overall with this episode, I want you to walk away being able to manage your expectations about EC and potty training. A quick internet search of this question or anything like it is going to yield so many different results, you're going to find a lot of conflicting opinions, a lot of "proof" out there of why you should wait or why you should potty-train earlier, and really what the expectation should be for your child. “Should” really depends on so many factors. I'll get that answer out of the way right now. It's really not helpful to ask the question, "When should my child be potty trained?" Rather, "When can they be potty trained?"

“Should” depends a lot on your own culture and your own expectations within your family, but “can” boils down to capability. If you have the Go Diaper Free book, it explains capability in there very clearly with lots of sources cited, and in general dispels a ton of myths about elimination communication. So if you have people in your life who are skeptical, if you yourself aren't quite sure, the Go Diaper Free book is the place to be. It's the place to find all of the reassurance, all of the scientific evidence, all of the reasoning why EC can and does work from as early as birth.

I want to get the definition of potty training out of the way because it may seem like splitting hairs, but this is actually really important to understand when you're asking this question. If you're wondering when your child can and should be potty trained by, and you want to be able to manage your own expectations as a parent or a caregiver, understanding the definition is key. “Potty trained” does not mean no accidents ever. “Potty trained” is when your child and you can accomplish these five things. This is from the Tiny Potty Training book which Andrea wrote because a lot of parents were having a hard time finding clear help out there, or they were having trouble wrapping up EC. We'll get to that in a moment, but the Tiny Potty Training book gives you five outcomes to know that your child has been trained.

Number one, you know when your child needs to go. That's part of potty training. You have to be able to tell when your child needs to go potty. We use the four roads to potty time to get there: Whatever their signals or their pee-pee dance is, whatever their natural timing is, those transition times in your daily life, and your own intuition.

Number two, your child knows where and when to go potty, how to get there, how to sit on it. Things have “clicked,” they're getting it.
This is the mechanics of potty training. This is when the actual training of your child takes place. Andrea likes to call it the “on-the-job training,” because you're providing them with the tools and skills to be able to accomplish the task.

Number three, your child is aware of when he needs to go beforehand, at least most of the time. They all get distracted. We all do. So if most of the time your child is able to notice before they start peeing that they need to go, that's one of the outcomes.

Number four, your child is now wearing clothing, either commandos, undies, pants, whatever you want to have on, and things are clicking while they're wearing clothing also. There's a misconception out there that you can just leave your child naked for the summer and they'll be potty trained, but potty trained while naked is not potty trained. We do wear clothing in our culture, at least here in the United States, so you're going to have to use clothes. That's one of the other outcomes.

And lastly, number five, you are able to go on diaper-free outings together and your child has had potty success outside of the house. So you're not stuck at home all the time. You're not visiting relatives or going to the grocery store and having a bunch of accidents or “misses” as we call them in EC. Those are the five outcomes that tell you your child has been trained.

Now there's going to be follow-up after that. Those five outcomes do not guarantee you that you're not going to have any more accidents, and we'll get to that in just a minute. I also want to mention expectations for completion of elimination communication. So those five things are also what we can expect when EC has been completed, but as far as when your child might be capable of that, completion is usually going to happen between 14 and 20 months. But this again depends on how you close it up, how you wrap up EC, and how quickly their own long-term brain memory develops. So obviously that's going to vary between children. It's also going to make a difference if your child has some delays, so it just depends on when your child is capable of retaining that long-term memory, repeating those same tasks again and again reliably, and that does have at least a little bit to do with how you as the parent or caregiver teaches that.

Completion, or also known as “wrapping up,” can happen as a natural progression, as a natural part of EC, if you put those building blocks in place from when they're developmentally ready to learn them. You're going to want to look at the building blocks of potty independence section of the Go Diaper Free book, and it lists out all the pieces of the potty routine, from pushing their pants down, to getting to the potty, to sitting on the potty, all the little pieces and when, on average, you can expect your child to be capable of taking those on. So this involves brain development, motor skills, how you have your potty space set up. All of these factors contribute to when your child can be potty-independent. And this is one of the big reasons that if you try to search this on the internet, you're going to get so many different answers, because not every family has the same setup. Not every family goes through the same progression or methods of teaching, and so it's just going to be all over the board.

We recommend starting to pass that baton, starting to wrap up and hand over those reigns between 12 and 18 months. Most babies are capable within that time span. That's also what the Montessori School of Thought calls a sensitive period for a child to successfully master self-toileting, potty independence. When your child starts to show signs that their brain can hold that long-term repetitive action and execute it regularly, and that typically happens in this age range. Full completion is usually in the bag at that point, but just remember you can start passing that baton and wrapping up the EC process long before any of those signs are present. So if you're looking up, "When is my child ready to be potty trained? What are the signs of potty training readiness?" It's not when is your child ready to take on the full breadth of the potty training routine, it's when are they ready to take on each of these little pieces.

And you can start handing them over as soon as they are ready. When your baby's crawling, they're capable of moving to the potty space. When your baby is confidently crawling, mastering it, they're able to most likely crawl onto a mini potty, as long as you have one that is accessible to them. That's why Andrea created the mini potty, because it's super short and low profile, and even the littlest babies can typically crawl onto it. So as soon as your child shows that they are capable, then they are ready.

Once you've wrapped up, once you've handed over that baton, whatever euphemism we want to use for that, your child has been trained. Once your child has been trained, once they have met those five outcomes that I talked about at the beginning of the episode, all that's left for you to do is wrap up the loose ends and continue to promote full potty independence and good lifelong pottying habits. And that's again going to be different for each child. Many parents express frustration that they still have to remind their child to go potty or will say things like, "If it weren't for me, there would be pee on the floor all the time." Let's think about that for a second. If it weren't for you as the parent, there would be pee on the floor all the time, your child probably wouldn't eat, they may never bathe. These are all things that just come along with having a child. But because we are in a culture that puts diapers on children full-time and then typically doesn't start the training process till two and a half, three, four, sometimes five years old, obviously those older children are more independent in general. So if you're looking at a baby who's been EC from birth and you're wrapping up around walking or between 12 and 18 months, manage your expectations around what that child is capable of in their everyday life, not just with this view of what a potty-trained child "should" look like.

Ongoing independence, day-to-day life post-potty-training is the same as independence with any other part of your baby's life. You're going to be continuing to move forward and give them little bits of independence, and let go of the reins more and more as they get older, more confident, and more capable. This does not mean to ever, ever go back to diapers. Once you've wrapped up EC or you've potty trained, your child has shown that they get it. They have shown that they are fully capable. If you are steadfast and stay the course, because you know your child is capable, you can get through any regressions and any backsliding. It just takes being consistent.

I want to make a little comparison here as a last point to this. Pottying, or going to the potty in our culture is both a biological instinct and a societal expectation. What I mean by this is you don't have to teach your child how to go potty, how to eliminate their waste. Their body already does that. They already know how to do that from birth. It's like walking. A child who is given the opportunity to practice will learn to walk. Nothing we do is going to stop that or make it happen faster. Our children are going to learn to walk. They are biologically driven and built to do that. So it's the same with going potty. They're going to do that starting from birth. Or crying, or any other physiological process.

The societal expectation piece is where we put the waste. Where does the pee and poop go? And this is like clothing. Your child as a toddler may know how to put their shoes on, but they're still going to forget to do it sometimes. They're still going to ask for help or need reminding, even though they are fully capable and know how to do it. So we as parents build good habits. We remind them to put their shoes on before we leave the house and eventually we'll say, "It's time to go," and our children will go and put their shoes on because they know that's part of the process.

This is what I'm talking about when I say have realistic expectations and make sure you manage them. If you are wondering where your child should be in the potty independence process, whether you've done EC or potty training, look at how they eat, look at how they get dressed, look at the things they do for themselves and notice where they are with that. Are they fully capable of remembering every single time to brush their teeth after breakfast, or whatever routine you've put in place? Are they able to do each little part of the toothbrushing process or are you still helping them with parts of that? And again, like I said at the beginning of the episode, this depends a lot on how you as the parent have wrapped this up. I'm still putting toothpaste on my five-year-old's toothbrush. He is capable of doing it, but I as the parent am still doing it. So I can't expect him every time to go and do that because I'm still keeping that part of the process as my job. If I want him to take that job on, I have to let him take it on.

So if your child is still needing reminders or still needing assistance with parts of the potty training process, they're still trained. If they're meeting those five outcomes that I mentioned at the beginning of the episode, they are trained. They will still have accidents. They will still forget. As they grow, as they get older and their brain develops more, they will be able to take this on more and more themselves, and some of that has to do with personality. But you may have a child who's still 16-years-old and you're having to remind him to go potty before you go on a road trip. That's just part of being a parent.

But those five outcomes, one more time, just so we have them down, your child is trained when: you know when they need to go potty, they know when and where to go potty, they are aware beforehand (at least most of the time), they're wearing clothing, and they've had success outside of the house. That's trained. So your child is capable of reaching all of those things typically by walking. Not every child is going to take all of this on by walking. Not every child is going to do all of this reliably by then, but all of them are able, all of them are capable, because this is developmentally appropriate for that age range.

So there you have it folks. The answer to, "When should my child be potty trained by?" or, "When can they be potty trained by?" is going to depend a lot on how you as the parent have done the training, and what you have been able to let go of, when. But in general, you can expect completion, potty training, wrap-up, whatever you want to call it, to be possible between 14 and 20 months.

If you're thinking, “That sounds way too young, you're crazy, what are you talking about?” I highly, highly encourage you to grab the Tiny Potty Training book because again, it has all of your resources in there, all of the sources cited, all of the evidence for why this is totally reasonable, and in fact was the norm, even here in the US up to only about 60 years ago. And if you're still pregnant or you have a baby younger than 18 months, grab the Go Diaper Free book and you'll get a lot of that same information, just geared more towards younger children, of why it's totally possible to help your child with pottying from as early as birth. It happens all over the world, every single day. It's not normal here because we are a diapering culture now, but I can tell you, Andrea can tell you, so many people can attest to the fact that babies are a hundred percent capable of holding it and using a potty from as early as birth. Obviously a newborn's not going to hold it very long and they're not going to be walking themselves to the potty. So that's why Andrea wrote Go Diaper Free. It's a really easy manual for you to understand, start to finish, no matter where you're starting. Whether it's newborn, 6 months, 12 months, you can start with your baby and have pottying success, and then have that completion between 14 and 20 months and ditch diapers, save money, increase the bond with your child, and have all of those benefits.

Thank you so much for joining me today. I hope that clears up that question at least a little bit for you guys. Now I want to hear from you. Head over to godiaperfree.com/236. Let us know in the comments there: when did your child reach completion? Did you practice EC? Did you do potty-training? What steps did you take to finally wrap them up? Next time on the podcast we're going to be talking about potty training and EC during road trips, so please make sure to tune in then. Until then, I'm Nicole Cheever with Go Diaper Free. Thanks for joining me and we'll see you next time.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

Watch the Video Version If you want to watch the recording of today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Resource RecommendationGo Diaper Free: my popular EC book that simplifies EC, beginning to end

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

When did your child reach EC completion or finish potty training? Share your best tips with us!xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

The post What age should a child be potty trained by? appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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EC was going great. Then… BAM! Suddenly you’re out of sync and you just can’t catch a break - or a pee! Tune in to today’s episode, where we talk all about why this happens, and what you can do to get back on track.

You Will Hear:* Why baby’s timing can become tricky to read * Strategies for making catches without relying on timing * Small mindset shifts that will help you get through this phase with less stress and more connection * Tips for managing EC when schedules and situations have changed

Links and other resources mentioned today:* Tiny Undies small baby underwear * Tiny Trainers * Go Diaper Free Book * The Log app for iOS and Android * YouTube Easy Catches series * The Wake Up + Pee - Podcast #28 * The Diaper Change - Podcast #29 * Poop - Podcast #30 * Ins and Outs - Podcast #32 * TinyUps cloth pull-up covers * Super-part-time EC success story - Podcast #82.5 * Mini Potty * “Tiny Potty” board book * “Movers + Shakers”Potty Time Master MiniCourse * The Premium Course Pack for EC * The Bundle - All 7 MiniCourses * Easy Start Guide for EC - Free Download * 3-day Primer for Starting Potty Training - Email Series * Tiny Potty Training Book * Go Diaper Free Store * Tiny Undies Store

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript Download - What if I can't read my baby's timing?
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Read the full written transcript - What if I can't read my baby's timing?ExpandEPISODE 235: What if I can't read my baby's timing?

Hey, there. Welcome back to the podcast. I'm Nicole Cheever with Go Diaper Free, and this is Episode 235, What if I Can't Read my Baby's Timing? When you're done listening, head on over to godiaperfree.com/235. You can find the show notes and transcript over there. You can also leave us a comment, or ask us any questions you have.

Today, we're answering a question from Terry. Normally I would play the audio for the question, but it was a bad connection. It's hard to hear. So, I'm going to go ahead and read it.

Terry says, "Hi there, Andrea. It's Terry from Belgium. I started my daughter at six months old. We put her on the potty because I saw a pattern. Every morning she goes number two on the potty. So, I put her on the potty every morning, and she almost always does her thing. It's complicated now that we've gone back to work. I would like to see and notice when she wants to go, but it's really hard. We put her on the potty because we want to do it consistently, but most of the time I can't read her yet. I find it hard because I need to go to work, and I also have big brother, who is six. I don't know. That's my question, 'How do we read our daughter better with complications around us?' Thank you."

Thanks so much for the question, Terry. I want to reassure you that this issue, especially at this age, is very common. That may not help you feel better, specifically, because it's still an issue, but that does mean that there are lots of different ways to troubleshoot this issue. When a lot of people have gone through the same thing, there are a lot of creative ways we've compiled to help you out with it. I'll give you a few that I have in mind for your specific situation, and let's see what might work for you.

First, your baby is six months old, and that's a huge milestone. Right around six months, give or take, they're becoming more mobile. She's probably learning to crawl. She might have even mastered it by now. There's a lot of distraction going on because of all of the brain development that's happening at this stage. If we were still in an intact culture, if we were living in a jungle, in a hut with a dirt floor, your baby would be crawling their way out to the potty space by themselves. As soon as she became mobile, she would be going there on her own. If she had a pee miss on the floor in the hut, you would be shooing her out and having her go by herself over to the potty area. So, developmentally and biologically, our children's instincts tell them that they don't really need our help anymore, at least not with pee, right around 6 months.

Many people see that their baby's signals disappear at this stage. Sometimes they come back, sometimes they don't. Often they're different when they come back. Those are the main reasons, just because developmentally she's focused on other things. She's got a lot going on with either learning to crawl, or mastering it, and there's just a lot of distraction. It's a whole new world once your baby becomes mobile.

What I would love to see you try, at this point, is to rely on your other three roads to potty time. The four roads are: signals, natural timing, generic timing, and your intuition. You don't see a pattern right now. You can't see her signals so go with natural timing, which is about how long your baby can go after waking, or eating, before needing to use the potty. This might require a little bit of naked observation on your part, which can be harder with a mobile baby. You can use a different back-up like undies. Especially the darker or brighter colored undies, that we have over at Tiny Undies, can really show pee very quickly.

You can use undies or training underwear. We have the Tiny Trainers that also will show fairly quickly, but they can also hold up to a medium size pee. You can also do a sumo style diaper. You can find the instructions for that in the Go Diaper Free book. Or, you could just go somewhere where a miss is not really that big of a deal, like if you have a hard floor area in your house. I usually trap myself in the kitchen with my baby, at least for a little while, to try and nail down that natural timing. You can either note it on paper, or you can get our free Log app, which is available for Apple and Android, and you can mark it in there. It gives you buttons for eating, sleeping, pee, and poop. You just click when they happen, when baby goes to sleep, or wakes up, when they eat, when they pee or poop. It gives you a log at the end. It'll even give you nice little graphs. It'll calculate an average. Very fancy. So, if you want to explore using natural timing, just do a little bit of observation so you can kind of figure out what her window is. It could have shifted, also, since the last time you did any observation.

You can also rely on generic timing, just the generic times throughout your day when most babies are probably going to need to go potty. These are kind of your easy catches, which we'll talk about in a second. Then lastly, your intuition. If you just have that feeling that baby needs to potty, go ahead and listen to it, and see if you're right.

The easy catches, there's four of those as well: the wake-up pee (or poop in your case), poops in general, diaper changes, and ins and outs. It's important to not try to catch every single easy catch. Don't overdo it, especially at this stage. That can cause some resistance. We don't want to try and go for every single possible pottytunity.

An example is, even though ins and outs are an easy catch,getting into the car, getting out of the highchair, any sort of baby container, the carrier. If I just pottied my baby, got her in the car, and drove five minutes to the grocery store, even though I'm now getting her out of the car, I'm probably not going to try to potty her again, especially if I know her natural timing is about a 15 or 20 minute interval. If I over offer that can cause resistance. So, just try to be strategic about the pottytunities that you do offer. Try to only offer those that really make sense. You could be wrong sometimes. Maybe she did have to pee again within five minutes. Maybe she didn't fully empty her bladder the last time, but that's what you have the back-up for. That's what you've got either a disposable, cloth diaper, training underwear, TinyUps, whatever you have. That's what it's for, those cases when you're not quite right with your intuition, or with your timing.

When my baby was six months old, we lived off of easy catches, especially the wake-up pees. I have two other kids. There's a lot of distraction in our house, so I understand how that is. And a dog! So it was really easiest just to focus on the wake-up pees, poops, diaper changes, things like that. Even for those of us who practice full-time EC, we really don't try to catch 100%. That's really unrealistic in this day and age, and in our modern society with all of the conveniences and things that we have like carpets, car seats, and all of that. So, don't stress out about trying to catch everything, number one. Number two, just stick to those easy catches that make sense, that fit into your lifestyle, and that work for your family.

Along with that, I also have a note to not be totally focused on baby, just generally aware. Again, that's what the back-ups are for. For when you're distracted, when you're having to deal with something else going on, maybe you're preparing a meal, or helping your older child. It's important to accept that there are going to be misses, especially certain misses, when and where they're necessary.

For me, when my baby was just a few months old, I knew that I was going to miss the breakfast pee. We would do the wake-up pee. Then when I was preparing breakfast for my older two, my baby would usually be on a play mat, or in a little bouncer, those little chairs that kind of lay baby back with the toy bar over the top. She would fuss at some point, while I was in the middle of getting breakfast for the other two. I would just say, "It's okay, baby. Go in your diaper." Even though she didn't understand that, she can still learn that that tone of voice and that intonation means, "I'm not going to be able to get to you right now." She would use her diaper. She was usually not super happy about it, but I would get to her as soon as I could. That's, again, what that back-up was for. I knew that it was just too much for me trying to get breakfast for everybody and trying to potty her every single time she fussed, so we just accepted that one. We just let that one go.

I also want to encourage you not to sit baby on the potty just to try to be consistent with sitting on the potty. I love that you want to be consistent, that's fantastic, but sitting baby on the potty when she doesn't need to go doesn't have really any benefit. That's why it's important to shoot for those easy catches, use those other three roads to potty time, and try to only sit her down when you're reasonably sure she probably has to go. Sitting baby on the potty again and again, without that need to use the potty, detaches those things for them. It removes that cause and effect. When we're teaching baby that the potty is to use for pee and poop, we do that by putting them on the potty, usually when they need to pee and poop. Again, we're not going to be perfect, but that's the goal, so they start to catch onto that pattern. If you're just sitting her on the potty because you're worried that you're going to have a miss, or you just really want to try to catch something (trust me, I know that feeling), that can undo that work for you. It can dissociate those two things. It can separate those, and it can cause a little bit of resistance because baby doesn't really know why they're being sat on the potty. So, try to only sit her when you are reasonably sure she probably needs to go potty.

In the Go Diaper Free book, there is a section on modifications for mobile babies. A couple of them are the ones I've mentioned here, but go ahead and refer back to that book. For those of you who don't have it yet, this is my weekly reminder that the book has everything. Not only does it have all of the resources you need in it, a wonderful troubleshooting section, you also get membership to our private community where coaches like me answer questions all the time. You also have other parents in there who have gone through the process, maybe multiple times, who are answering questions in there and helping you out. There's video resources, there are links, there's lots of great stuff in the community. If you're on the fence and you're really wanting to get a little bit more concentrated into your EC journey but you're missing a few key components, go ahead and grab that book.

There's also a unique situation section. Part-time is one of the unique situations. You're back at work. I know that's tough, especially when you've been home with baby, and you've been able to really do full-time EC, and catch a lot. This is kind of happening at, maybe, the worst time for you. Not only is it totally normal for a really wonderful easy-peasy EC experience to kind of fall apart at six months, then when you throw the other component of going back to work and completely changing your schedule into it, it can make it even more frustrating. Try to step back, take a deep breath, and just understand that this is happening at a time when it would already be very normal for you to be misreading signals, or for the signals to completely have gone away. So, try not to blame it on your going back to work, even though I know that does complicate things a little bit more. This probably would've happened anyway to some degree.

Go ahead and check out that unique situation section in the Go Diaper Free book. Part-time is great for working parents, and part-time still gets you all the benefits of EC. You're still maintaining your baby's sensitivity to their body. You're still having fewer diapers that you're using, so you're saving money. There are still a ton of great benefits. I'm going to link a podcast here for you, as well. It is podcast #82.5, Super-part-time EC Success Story. This is a story of a family who did part-time EC because they worked full-time. That may give you a little bit of encouragement, as well, to hear how they did it.

One last suggestion that I have for you, if you're not already introducing baby to the mini potty... It sounds like you said you're sitting baby on the potty every morning, and that's great. Go ahead and put that mini potty on the floor as well, and let baby crawl over to it, explore it. You can practice sitting, mounting the potty, or even crawling to the bathroom. Letting baby play with the potty, letting baby explore, is not only good for them to get used to it, but it also could be a signal. At this age, just crawling towards the bathroom, or over to the potty if it's in the play area, could be a signal that they need to go potty. This might not be the signal you're used to. Many babies in early infancy fuss, or cry. Maybe they're active, and they get very still, and that's their signal. Then as they become mobile, their signals will change. So, having the potty out somewhere where your baby has access to it, can practice getting onto it, and can maybe use it as a signal, may be helpful for you.

The Tiny Potty board book was a signal for us once my baby started crawling, as well. I started reading her the Tiny Potty board book, and she would crawl over to the board book and pick it up. I realized that that was her telling me that she needed to go potty. So, I'd sit her on the potty, and we'd read the book. That was one of her favorite things to do while going potty.

If you need a little bit more help, we have the "Movers + Shakers" Mobile Babies EC program. That's a deep dive into this whole phase of development, from six months to a year, when they're really becoming mobile and starting to get closer to where they're going to be independent. That's going to give you everything you need, all of the tools, in order to conquer this phase. There's also the Potty Time Master MiniCourse. That will help you learn when it's time to potty, even if your baby doesn't signal at all. So if you really just have not caught onto any pattern, you don't know the timing, go ahead and check out that Potty Time Master MiniCourse. That can really, really help you.

Thanks again for the question, Terry. That's what I've got for you. I hope some of that was helpful. For everyone listening, I would love to know what has worked for you when you couldn't read baby's timing. What strategies did you implement? Or, if that's happening to you right now, what did you hear in today's podcast that you want to go ahead and try?

Go ahead and go on over to godiaperfree.com/235. You can leave us comments and questions there. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast and our email list so you stay up to date on everything that's happening with Go Diaper Free. Godiaperfree.com/start is where you're going to get our free Easy Start Guide, and that will subscribe you to the email list. Don't worry, we do not believe in spam. If your baby is getting close to 18 months or is older than 18 months, you can still go to godiaperfree.com/start. There is a link there that will take you over to the potty training page. You can put your email in and sign up for our Three-day Potty Training Primer to get you started on that. That will also keep you up to date. Thanks everyone for listening today. I'm Nicole Cheever with Go Diaper Free, and we'll see you next time.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

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Everything seems to be going just fine with EC (or potty training), when suddenly your LO has a total nuclear meltdown about using the potty. What gives? Join us for today’s episode where we talk all about what can cause potty meltdowns, what you might be able to do to try to avoid them, and how to survive them.

You Will Hear:* The difference between potty resistance and meltdowns * Prevention strategies for most tantrums surrounding the potty EC * How to best support your child through a potty meltdown * What to do after the meltdown has occurred * Strategies for helping your child achieve potty independence more confidently

Links and other resources mentioned today:* First 5 California - Meltdowns vs Tantrums * Go Diaper Free Book * Tiny Potty Training Book * My baby resist the potty - Podcast #230 * Passing the baton - Podcast #59 * “Passing the Baton” Young Toddlers EC Program * Potty Pause Resolution MiniCourse * Getting GEC Back on Track MiniCourse * Wrapping Up EC MiniCourse * Regression at Walking - Podcast #196 * The re-set - Podcast #46 * Mini Potty * Go Diaper Free Store * Tiny Undies Store

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript Download - Surviving Potty Meltdowns
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Read the full written transcript - Surviving Potty MeltdownsExpandEPISODE 234: Surviving Potty Meltdowns

Hey everyone, welcome back. Thanks so much for joining me again today. I'm Nicole Cheever with Go Diaper Free, and this is episode 234, Surviving Potty Meltdowns. You can find the show notes over at godiaperfree.com/234. When you're done listening here today, please head over and leave us any comments you have, ask us questions. We'd love to hear from you.

For those of you who are new on this podcast, we focus mostly on elimination communication, which is simply helping your baby with their hygiene and their pottying needs from as early as birth. You can start at any age between zero and 18 months. Once you start to get close to 18 months, you're really getting into potty training territory, but what we're talking about today applies to both. You can have potty meltdowns anytime during EC or potty training. They're going to be most common in that 15 to 24 month window when they're starting to become toddlers and more self-aware, to when they're full-fledged toddler two-year-olds. You can also have potty meltdowns with older children.

I wanted to talk about this on the podcast because it's something that seems to be a huge deterrent for some people. They have heard about the epic disasters that other parents have had while trying to do potty training, so it scares them. It prevents them from wanting to try potty training, let alone EC. But I'm here to tell you that meltdowns, unfortunately, are just a part of having a toddler. There are some ways you can prevent them and we'll talk about that, but you're not going to avoid meltdowns altogether just because you're waiting longer to potty-train your child. In fact, some might say that you are more at risk of having meltdowns around the bathroom routine the longer you wait because your child has grown very accustomed, and sometimes very attached, to the diaper. And we want to help you out of that. At Go Diaper Free, our main goal is to help you break free from full-time dependence on diapers, and this is one way to do it, is to help you learn what you're going to get into if you're going to be confronted with any meltdowns and help you get through those.

First, let's talk about what a meltdown actually is because there is a difference between meltdowns and resistance. A lot of you who have been practicing EC since your baby was young may have had some resistance at certain phases, but a meltdown is an entirely different animal. The definition might vary depending on your parenting philosophies, and in fact, what we're talking about today, how to handle them and how to prevent them, will also vary depending on your parenting style and philosophy.

First 5 California has a definition of meltdowns that I will link. They typically occur when the child is already stressed. I like to use the acronym HALT. It's hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. Works great for adults, too. If you can identify one or more of those feelings in your body, then you are more at risk of having some kind of emotional turmoil, and that's what a meltdown really is. It's not just a resistance or tantrum over something. It's a full-fledged nuclear meltdown, like when your brain completely shuts down and you're having a hard time processing. And that's what happens when a child has a meltdown. There's no logic, there's no reasoning, there's no redirecting. Their brain is on pure survival mode. They might be crying, screaming, hitting, throwing things.

They could be really physical with it. According to First 5 California, it's not because they want something, it's just an emotional internal crisis that they're having where their brain is not able to recover from it. They could unknowingly be unsafe during a meltdown. So that's your number one priority during a meltdown is keeping yourself and your child safe, however you feel best doing that. But according to First 5, and this is a key that I think is very important, the meltdown behavior will continue through to its end even when the child is not getting attention for the behavior. So if you practice gentle parenting or social emotional awareness, you might use a strategy where you try to redirect your child or you try just not to acknowledge the undesired behavior, and that may help for tantrums, but apparently with meltdowns it doesn't at all.

I have a few short examples to give you from my experience, both as a coach and a parent that might help drive this home for you. I had a client who had tried to do the hybrid plan for 12 to 18 month older toddlers that's in the Go Diaper Free book, and she tried to do it around 15 months.
Now granted, she did a lot of research. I think she suffered a little bit from information overload because rather than just sticking to the Go Diaper Free method, she'd read several other books, taken an online course, and really just bombarded herself with different opinions on pottying. And one of the main reasons Andrea wrote her first book, EC Simplified (now Go Diaper Free) is because she wanted to distill down all of that information out there that really muddies the water and confuses parents and bring it down to a very simple step-by-step plan. So she tried to follow the step-by-step plan with her 15-month-old daughter, and she admitted that she put on the pressure, that she was very stressed throughout the process, and that she really hovered and put a lot of pressure on her daughter to get the pee in the potty. By the time I came on board, they were trying to decide if they wanted to continue with EC or if they wanted to wait and do more of the potty training experience from The Tiny Potty Training Book once their baby got closer to that 18 mark, or even passed it.

What I observed with this child was that she was very well aware when she was wet, both from what I saw and from what her parents reported, and she knew what it felt like to need to go pee. And while I was with them, I observed her having a complete and total meltdown because she wanted the diaper to pee in. She had to pee, and she did not want to sit on the potty. That was the main thing that her mother had put on the pressure about was sitting on the potty. They had practiced regular sitting on the potty when it wasn't potty time, which overdoing that can absolutely contribute to resistance. That's one of the reasons we never recommend putting your child on the potty on a timer like every 15 or 20 minutes, for example.

So she had to pee. She did not want to sit. She refused to sit and would arch and do the whole thing when you tried to put her on any kind of potty device, whether it was the small potty or the seat reducer or even holding over the big potty. And while she was having this total meltdown, throwing herself on the floor, here and there she was leaking urine because she could not hold it anymore. She was screaming, crying, tears down her face, laying on the floor, almost inconsolable. The only time she was able to calm down was when her dad picked her up and kind of bounced her and soothed her. She just did not want to pee in the potty, but she also did not want to pee all over the floor or all over herself, so that was a major meltdown.

Another one that has happened with me with my child is she had some constipation issues that we are still dealing with, and she had a few painful poops, and what that has done is created a lot of anxiety around poop. Even though I've taken a lot of measures to change her diet, soften her stool, and make sure that she's not having anymore of those hard, painful poops, it's not totally in my control. She still has anxiety. She's still nervous about it, and so she will hold it for long periods of time, still sometimes creating more of that hard stool, and she will cry and scream. She'll signal that she needs to go potty with her hand signal. She will sit on the potty, and as soon as her bottom hits the toilet seat reducer, she arches and wants to get off. So she knows she has to go potty. She's sitting on the potty, she's wanting to go, but as soon as she gets right up to that point where she's going to start to poop, she backs off because she's afraid. What I've had to do is hold her in a squat position over the sink, facing the mirror so she can see me and herself while she's crying and screaming, tears streaming down her face, holding her in that squat and just reassuring her, “It's okay, baby. It's okay. You can poop. Go ahead.” And as soon as I start to see it come out, I put her on the potty and she's able to poop and calm down.

Other instances where these meltdowns can happen are in places where you have not yet fully passed on the baton. There's something that your child is developmentally ready to do for themselves and you are still doing it for them. You have not put the training in place for them to take that step and take responsibility for it. In the Go Diaper Free book and in The Tiny Potty Training Book, we have the building blocks of potty independence, and those are all of the steps that your child will need to complete before they can be independent on the potty. And what often happens is your child comes up to one of those points before you've actually done the teaching, so they want to take it on, but they don't have the ability.

An example is getting on the potty. Maybe you have a seat reducer like I do that's just too high on the potty. There's no ladder, there's no step stool, no way that they can get on themselves. So they start having a lot of pee misses because they want to get on by themselves. They don't want your help, but they can't. Putting those elements in place, handing over the reins for those different points, for each of those steps will go a long way to preventing this. Of course, most of the time when you hit resistance, that is when you want to teach whatever the resistance is around, and you'll usually just get a tantrum out of it. The meltdowns tend to happen when there's a traumatic experience like being terrified by one of the auto flushers in a public bathroom. You could have a public bathroom potty meltdown because that's the only potty available, and your child is terrified. You could have the poop meltdown like I talked about. And then the pee meltdown for my client was at least in part because mom and dad had gone back and forth and gave the diaper back. Most people are familiar with the scenario where a toddler will only poop in their diaper, and mom and dad exacerbate that and feed into it by giving the diaper back and giving in every time. This had happened with pee with this child. So it was the same scenario where she knew if she held on long enough that she could get her diaper back and she wasn't having it any other way.

Unfortunately, these meltdowns tend to be more likely the longer you wait to even just introduce your child to the potty, because some children can show fear towards the potty if you wait too long to let them sit or explore it. In general, starting as soon as you can, if you're listening to this and you have a three-year-old and you've never let them sit on a little potty, this is your sign. Start today. Because a lot of these things can be avoided but not entirely because again, they're not all within our control. The meltdowns tend to be more emotional. It's an internal emotional struggle. Really all we can do as parents is try to set our children up for success so that we're not confusing them. This is why we say that EC is really only appropriate until 18 months, right around that 18 month mark. You may have a go-getter that it happens at 15 months, you may have a chill baby that it doesn't happen until 21 months. Somewhere in there is when your child is going to turn into a toddler, need those clear boundaries, strive for mastery for themselves of all the different skills they need for their life. If you hang on too long and keep them a baby and keep them in those diapers, you're putting yourself at risk and them at risk for these potty meltdowns because they've created an emotional attachment to the diaper. Or again, you've confused them by flip-flopping, going back and forth.

I'm going to link an episode here that I just recorded recently, episode 230 about resistance at many stages. If you're still confused about the difference between resistance and a meltdown, I want you to go listen to that episode or read that transcript and get an idea of what the resistance is. The resistance really is telling you you need to teach something. Your child is striving for more independence, but it's typically just a refusal. Like, “No, I won't sit on the potty,” and runs away, and then pees on the floor two minutes later. It's not a complete knock down drag out meltdown.

I'm also going to link episode 59, which is passing the baton so you can get a little bit more information on what I was talking about with the building blocks of potty independence.

I'm going to give you a few little tips here for prevention strategies. Again, this is an internal issue for your child when they're having a potty meltdown. When they're already having some kind of struggle with the potty and then they hit one of those HALT instances where they're hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, overstimulated, sugared up, any of the above, they will be more likely to have that resistance and that tantrum tip over into a meltdown. So there's really not a ton you can do except try to avoid those things and sometimes, like the instances with the poop withholding and the auto flushers, there's not really anything you can do about it, but get through it.

But there are a few things you can do to help smooth out the road for your child to become potty independent. I already mentioned teaching and giving access. We have a couple mini courses and a program all about passing the baton. Our young toddlers EC program, “Passing the Baton,” does a deep dive into teaching all of those steps, start to finish. What ages it's appropriate to teach each of those steps and different strategies for getting your child independent in each of them. We also have a few mini courses. One is the Potty Pause Resolution MiniCourse, because potty pauses usually are due to a lack of knowledge somewhere. They don't have a skill in part of the process that they want to take on themselves. We have Getting EC Back on Track, if you've gotten off track and you need to refocus. We have Wrapping Up, another EC mini course, and that's really just like the passing the baton, but in a smaller chunk, it's a little bit more of a general overview. The wrapping up mini course is great if you just need a little boost, and “Passing the Baton” is if you really want to deep dive into that.

The other thing is to chill. Easy, right? Not. As a parent, it is so hard to see your child go through this, especially if, like First 5 California says, there's nothing you can do about it. Your child is going to have this meltdown whether or not you're actually responding to the behavior or giving them any attention. So the priorities are keeping your child and yourself safe, and trying to bring as much calm to the storm as you can, whatever that looks like for you. Whether it's deep breathing, whether it's quiet singing, whatever it may be, but taking on a body posture and an attitude that this will pass, I just need to be the stability for my child in this moment.

Like I said, when I'm holding my daughter over the sink and trying to help her poop, I do a lot of deep breathing, just in through my nose and blowing out through my mouth and I make it slow. I try to count to five or six as I'm blowing out. I will sometimes sing to her very quietly. I will reassure her, even though she doesn't fully understand all of my words, I will tell her, “I know, I understand. I love you. It's okay. I'm right here. It might hurt a little bit, but it's going to be okay. You're going to get this poop out. Let's get the poop out.” Things like that. So whatever kind of mantras you need to try to stay as calm as possible. Trying to avoid those HALT instances, the hungry, angry, lonely, tired. I'm going to link episode 196 as well, which is an episode on regression at walking, because the regression tends to happen again when they don't have those skills. If you're grooving and jiving with EC and then you hit walking, usually around a year, and all of a sudden you're having misses everywhere. Pee all over, they don't want to sit on the potty, the whole nine yards, you're hitting regression because they want the independence. So if you really need to drive that point home for yourself, go ahead and check out that episode as well.

A couple other things to help you as the parent, even though you can't really do a ton to help your child, are checking in with your outlook and your priorities, your mental head space. What is the worst that could happen? Is there going to be pee on the floor? If that's the worst that could happen, that's something that could be cleaned up. Yes, if you have carpets or rugs, it might be a little bit more difficult, but what is our long-term goal? Asking yourself these questions can be really important, and reminding yourself of the answers, especially in these stressful moments. Is your long-term goal to always get all of the pee in the potty or is it potty independence? Because if it's always to get every pee in the potty, number one, highly unrealistic, and even those of us that practice full-time EC really only shoot for about 50% until we're working on wrapping up, and in the wrap up process, yes, you're going to try and get 90, 95% in there until they're a little bit older. But if your end goal is potty independence, a lot of these misses and tantrums and even meltdowns are necessary. They have to go through this process. And this is, for me as a parent, one of the hardest things to come to terms with, even the third time around. There are some things that your child needs to do for themselves. There are some roads they need to walk alone. You can be there to support them emotionally, physically, however you need to, but they need to walk this road. They need to get through this process. You are there to support and reassure and cheer them on.

Potty independence at the end is all up to your child. You can use all the tricks, read all the books, supply all the necessary equipment, do all the teaching. Your child has to take that baton that you're trying to pass to them. So that can be really hard to come to terms with, and that can make us stress out unnecessarily and try to fix the situation when there's nothing to be fixed. My daughter has to experience these poop meltdowns to trust her body eventually and realize that it's not going to hurt every time. Even though that was a really big scary experience and it happened a few times, it's not going to be forever. And nothing I do is going to convince her of that. Just going through the process is going to be what solidifies it for her. So I know that's really tough. That's life, right? We don't have control of our children. All we can do is what we can do to help them and everything else, we just have to leave to them.

Lastly, I want to touch on what to do moving forward. So your child had a potty meltdown. You survived it. Congratulations. But now what? So in the instance of my client, they did decide to do a re-set. They decided to stop with the hybrid plan and wait. A re-set typically is only two weeks if you're still going to practice EC. That's in episode 46 that I have linked. They decided to wait until their daughter was closer to two. They were going to have more time over the summer to focus, relax. It wasn't going to be as stressful, and they wouldn't be trying to cram it into one weekend while they were both working full time. So that was what they opted to do, that was best for their family, and they're going to revisit it again when their child is closer to two over the summer.

Another strategy is doing your best to rebuild trust and confidence in the potty process. Holding space for your child and understanding that this was hard. In the case of poop withholding or being scared by the auto flusher, that's going to take a lot of time and it's sometimes easy to get frustrated as a parent and just go, “Oh, come on, you were doing this just fine before.” They're not now. Take that breath. Come to terms with the fact that now it's scary. We're going to have to kind of start from the beginning. Hopefully they'll get there sooner this time, but take the same steps, go back to basics and take all the same steps you need to to rebuild their trust and their confidence, whatever that looks like. If your child was getting up on the big potty and you were so thrilled to not have to clean out the mini potty anymore, and now they don't want to get on it, guess what? We're bringing out the mini potty. We're going to take a deep breath and we're going to bless and release it. We're back to the mini potty. We're going to clean it out as long as we have to, and we know that we are capable of getting back on the big potty because we've done it before. So again, being that great support and encouragement for your child, and allowing them to take that time they need to process and to rebuild their own trust and confidence in the process.

I'm also going to link episode 142, which is about correcting potty-centeredness, where you as the parent might be putting on all the pressure because you're frustrated and because you want to be further along than you are, or you want to be catching more than you are. So that will help you kind of come to terms with this spot that you're in.

And that's it for today, everyone. Thanks so much for sticking around. We talked today about surviving potty meltdowns, what they are, how they differ from resistance, some things you can kind of do to prevent them, but also how you can support your child through them and what things you can put in place to try to move them along to potty independence a little bit more confidently. Please make sure you go to godiaperfree.com/234. Go ahead and leave us comments there. Make sure you subscribe to the podcast so you can be up-to-date on everything we're coming out with. You'll get an email every time we release a podcast with a little description of what it's about so you can tune in when it's something that you need help with, and we also keep everyone on our email list informed of all the events going on. We just had another successful Go Diaper Free week. Thank you so much everyone who participated in that. And any of the sales that are happening are going to be right there in your inbox anytime you need it. Don't worry, no spam allowed.

Now, I want to hear from you. Head on over to that comment section, godiaperfree.com/234 and let us know have you dealt with potty meltdowns? What strategies have you found helpful in your EC or potty training journey? We'd love for you to share with our community. Let us know what strategies have been helpful to you and what other questions you might have. Thank you so much again for tuning in. Next time on the podcast, we're going to have another troubleshooting question about what to do if you just can't read your baby's timing or signals, so make sure you tune in again next week. We will see you then.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

Watch the Video Version If you want to watch the recording of today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Resource RecommendationGo Diaper Free: my popular EC book that simplifies EC, beginning to end

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Have you dealt with potty meltdowns? What strategies have you found helpful in your elimination communication or potty training journey?xx Andrea

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Starting Elimination Communication but not sure exactly how to start? This week’s episode of the Go Diaper Free podcast is here to help! Whether you're a first-timer or an experienced parent, our beginner's guide will take you through all the gear and techniques you need to get started on this natural approach to infant hygiene.

You Will Hear:* What gear you will need to get started with EC * How to hold your baby during EC * Back-up options * EC-friendly clothing suggestions * What to pack in you diaper (free) bag

Links and other resources mentioned today:* EC from scratch - Podcast #108 * Tiny Undies Store * Top Hat Potty * Mini Potty * Mini Potty Cozy * Waterproof Pad * Waterproof Pad * Go Diaper Free Book * YouTube Playlist - Real Babies pottied from birth * The Premium Course Pack for EC * “The Golden Window” Newborn EC Program * Blog post - How to hold a newborn baby over the potty * Tiny Chaps split pants * Dressing baby for cold weather pottying - Podcast #114 * EC-friendly snow suit - @ecinthecity * Tiny Undies small baby underwear * Tiny Trainers * Tiny Boxers * WoolUps wool soakers * TinyUps cloth pull-up covers * The Ultimate Guide to EC Back-ups - Podcast #53 * Tiny Wet/Dry Bag * Potette Plus 2-in-1 Potty Seat * Gimars No Slip Folding Potty Seat * Disposable diaper bag roll * EC While Out + About MiniCourse * Easy Start Guide for EC - Free Download * 3-day Primer for Starting Potty Training - Email Series * Tiny Potty Training Book * Go Diaper Free Store

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript Download - How to Start Elimination Communication: A Beginner's Guide to EC Gear and Techniques
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Read the full written transcript - How to Start Elimination Communication: A Beginner's Guide to EC Gear and TechniquesExpandEPISODE 233: How to Start Elimination Communication: A Beginner's Guide to EC Gear and Techniques

Hey there, everyone. Welcome back. Thanks so much for tuning into the podcast again this week. This week's episode is 233, How to Start Elimination Communication: A Beginner's Guide to EC Gear and Techniques.

Before we get started, I want to remind everyone that it is Go Diaper Free Week, our 11th annual Go Diaper Free Week. If you haven't already joined the challenge or checked out the page, go to godiaperfree.com/week and you can see everything we have going on there. We've got sales, we've got free classes, we've got contests you can enter, and just lots of great stuff going on. Especially, make sure you put in that email address because you will get five easy-to-digest, super-duper simple tips on starting EC or potty training, or to just get you wrapped up if you're already in the midst of it. Head on over there, godiaperfree.com/week. And don't worry if you are listening to this after Go Diaper Free Week has already ended, hang out to the end of the episode and I will let you know how you can still stay in touch with us and take advantage of some of our other events and challenges throughout the year.

This is episode 233. When you're done listening, you can also head to godiaperfree.com/233. You can leave us comments there, ask us questions, get all the show notes. I will be talking about a lot of gear today. All of the links to everything I mentioned will be over there in the show notes. Make sure you check that out after you're done listening here.

Last week we talked about how simple EC can be, how it can really be just as easy as taking the diaper off, and some tips on how to tell when your baby needs to go potty, a couple of challenges you might encounter. Today, I want to give you some more of the technical side of it. You might be thinking, “Okay, great Nicole, you told me how to tell when my baby needs to pee, but how do I actually do it?” That's what we're doing today. We're talking about how to practice EC with your baby.

Of course, the biggest shift is going to be mindset, so if you missed episode 232, head on back to godiaper free.com/232 and you can listen, watch or read the transcript there. But one of the biggest takeaways, really, is shifting that mindset, that the diaper is not a full-time, wearable toilet. It is a back-up. It's a tool we're going to use to help us for when we can't get to baby right away. And of course, because we have things like floors and vehicles, and public places where an accident (or what we call a miss) would be inconvenient or possibly embarrassing. We will use our back-ups when we need them, how we need them, but we don't use the diaper anymore as a full-time, 24/7 wearable toilet.

Let's start out with some gear, because not only do we have the diaper as a tool, we have a lot of other tools at our disposal to be able to practice EC in a way that is really simple for our families. I want to start out though by saying that you don't have to buy any of this. Literally, all you need to practice EC is a baby. That's it! And somewhere to put their pee or poop, which we all usually have in our homes, like a sink and/or a toilet. But I will link episode 108 here, and this is DIY EC: Doing EC On a Budget, where you can make some of your own supplies or use some of the things you already have around the house. It was a guest post from one of our community. In there she does mention a couple of things that she thinks are really helpful to have. That's some of what I'm going to go over here today. But in general, you don't really need a ton to start EC. These are just things that might be helpful along the way.

Here's some optional gear. Of course, the one thing that's not optional is the baby. If you're watching the YouTube version, this is my baby I stole from one of my daughters to use as an example here today. The baby needs something to go in. If you're not always going to be using the sink or the toilet, sometimes you're out and about and it's not convenient, or you want something that's a little easier to get to, or can be right nearby at all times, at tinyundies.com we have Top Hat potties. These are great because they fit right between your thighs or your knees when you're sitting, and baby can go right on top. You can use this in a variety of positions and it comes with the non-slip band to put around the middle and the cozy that goes around the top.

Once baby gains neck control, the Mini Potty is really helpful. It's a super short potty, so even the tiniest babies, when they're walking or crawling, can mount this potty on their own. It comes either bundled with the cozy, or you can get the cozy separately, but I always recommend getting the cozy because this seat can feel a little bit chilly sometimes. The Mini Potty is great because it's small. I have one in every single one of my vehicles that I drive with the kids in it. For a long time when my baby was smaller, I had it right on the countertop in my bathroom, so when I was going in there to potty her, I wasn't having to hunch over the toilet or the sink. I could just sit her right on it, either facing me or facing the mirror, and that was a lot easier on my back. Baby can sit right on it as soon as they have neck control. Even if they're not independently sitting, you can hold them on it, and that's very helpful.

Another thing that's great to have is a diaper-free play mat. Especially when they're not mobile yet and you're doing some diaper-free observation time, you want something to protect your floors. At Tiny Undies we also have a waterproof mat. It's really soft on the one side and waterproof on the other. If you're just listening, the long side is about as long as my outstretched arm, so it's a pretty good size here. It's a rectangular shape and it's got a little bit of plushness to it. It's got a little bit of thickness, so it's nice and comfy for baby. You could use that either on carpet or a hard floor and it would still be comfortable for a baby. That's helpful to protect your floors when baby's not moving.

We also have a number of other gear, back-ups that I'll go over in just a little bit here for if your baby is mobile and you still want to protect your floors. But those are the other things you're going to want to have, is some kind of easy, friendly clothing and some kind of back-up. Many of us still use the diaper as a back-up in some form or another. Like I talked about last week, you don't have to go completely diaper free in order to be practicing EC. That's just the end goal. We want to break away from full-time dependence on diapers. That's really it. But, you still need a back-up of some kind.

That's the minimum of what you're going to need, as far as gear goes. Again, check out the post that I'll link if you're looking for more of a DIY and things you could utilize that you might already have on hand. Next, you're going to need to hold your baby. Part of getting your baby into position, of course, is getting the back-up and the clothing out of the way. It really depends on your comfort level with your baby, and holding them, and maybe holding them in an awkward position. With my youngest, we started her at 10 days old. I still used a lot of the snap crotch clothing, either with legs like the footed sleepers or even those without feet that had the long pants on them, or onesies. What I would do is just snap the center snap when we were home. If she wasn't in the car seat or we weren't out and about, I would only have the one center snap done so that I could easily pop it open and get her diaper off.

There are a couple of videos I will link from YouTube that Andrea's got of her pottying babies that are teeny tiny. A lot of times it's just a matter of holding them really close to your body with one hand and supporting them fully, including their neck. Then using the other hand to remove the diaper, and then getting them into position. When you have the Go Diaper Free book, you're going to have access to the library of positions. There are photos and videos to show you every single which way to hold your baby. And if you have any of our digital courses, the programs, especially The Golden Window Newborn EC Program, has the catalog of all of the different holds, all of the different positions for baby. It's not unlike nursing or bottle feeding, where you really just have to find what works for you and what works for baby. And that is probably going to evolve and change as they grow, as you get more comfortable, as they learn new skills and develop more control over their body.

But to start out, the classic EC hold is really simple. You're going to hold baby facing away from you in a seated position. You're going to hold them with two hands securely under the thighs, in a little bit of a squat position, with their back, head and neck resting against your chest. You can even lean back a little bit. This is the classic EC hold. If you have a boy, you just take a free finger, and point the penis down in the right direction, whether it's into the Top Hat Potty or the sink. That's a classic hold. And there's a lot of variations of this. You can hold baby over the toilet, the sink, the Top Hat Potty, the grass. Really, you can do the classic hold with you standing, sitting, squatting, in a variety of different locations and scenarios.

You can hold baby over the Top Hat Potty. You can even modify it a little bit to the cradle hold, where instead of baby in a more upright position, you shift them over to where you're holding them just like you would cradling to rock or feed. And you're just having your hands in that same classic hold position, but with baby's head and neck in the crook of your arm. This is great for babies who don't have neck control yet, aren't sitting up independently yet, and are more willing and wanting to be in this laid-back position. That's another great one that's good for over the Top Hat Potty. You can just sink their bottom right into the potty there.

You can do this while feeding. If you're really coordinated, you can just have the Top Hat Potty in your lap while you're feeding, either nursing or bottle feeding the baby, and have them in that cradle hold. Newborns especially will often poop while feeding. They have a gastrocolic reflex that will inspire them to poop while they're feeding. When something comes in, something else has to go out to make room for it, so often babies will poop while nursing. The Top Hat Potty can be really helpful to have if you're trying to catch those poops.

You can use the Mini Potty for any of these positions, but when baby has neck control, I prefer to just hold them under the arms and sit them on the Mini Potty, either facing toward or away from me. This can go anywhere with you, and both of these potties are top rack dishwasher safe, which is great. If they get old and worn out, cracked, whatever, they are number five recyclable, at least here in the US. I've had this one since, I believe, 2018, and it's in great shape. They're really going to last you a long time.

I'm going to link a blog post that has a lot of pictures in it, how to hold your newborn over a potty. Because that's what most people have difficulty with, is how to get their newborn in position. Most of us understand that when a baby is independently sitting, they're just going to sit on a potty, it just has to be the right size for them. But if you're having trouble figuring out how to hold that baby, in the car, on the go, at home, while feeding, go ahead and check out that post and I will link that in the show notes over at godiaperfree.com/233.

The next thing I want to go over quickly is appropriate clothing for EC. I mentioned that there are a couple different ways that you can make EC a little bit easier for yourself with the clothing. When you have snaps, I only snap a few of them, or try to get those that have the smaller snaps. There's some that have really heavy duty snaps and they can be really tough to undo, especially one-handed if you're already holding the baby.

At Tiny Undies we have the split crotch pants. In many countries where EC is still very commonly practiced, children are put in split crotch pants as soon as they can walk. It simply is pants with no crotch in it, exactly what it sounds like. The one at Tiny Undies has this great little Velcro on it. It's easy to get on and off and they are very soft and cozy. They just have an opening there for baby. You can either have a diaper over this whole thing, you can have them diaper free in this. You wouldn't really use this with undies or trainers because you'd have to get one or the other all the way off, but this is great for either putting a diaper back-up on over it or having them diaper free in the pants when it's a little bit chilly out. The DIY post that I mentioned earlier, I believe, does have some instructions for making your own. Many people just get some secondhand or thrift store baby pants and make their own split crotch pants. It's pretty simple and easy.

I like to put my kids in shirts and just the diaper or the back-up, especially when it's warm out. But if you want to have something on the bottom, you can do pants that are a size up. If you're working with clothing manipulation, your baby's getting towards potty independence and wrapping up EC, the bigger pants, especially the elastic waist pants, are great because that's easier for them to get on and off. You want to avoid the tight, spandex leggings. They're adorable, but when you're around the house and you're wanting your baby to get their pants off by themselves, you're going to be looking for saggier, maybe sweatpants. Something that's really easy to get on and off, and possibly in a size up.

Leg warmers are great, of course, for cold weather. I also will link episode 114, that talks all about pottying in cold weather, and how to bundle baby up and still have easy access. I even saw a post on Instagram by one of our coaches, or at least one of our affiliates, that was talking about what I call a bunny suit. It was a snowsuit that had access to be able to potty in cold weather. In a way it had the split crotch idea, but there was some fastener there, so you just opened it in the bottom and her daughter could sit and potty. If I can find that, I'll also link that in the show notes. That was just an afterthought.

The footed pajamas, what I do is just not snap them all the way. If they don't have feet, I usually leave the snaps done around the ankles and just the one in the middle in the crotch. That way I can unsnap the middle snap and just slip the legs off of the baby's feet. But they also have footed pajamas now that have zippers that are the two-way zippers. Not only does it zip down from the top, it zips up from the bottom and you can get baby's feet out. I would've loved to have those with my first. He was born in December. The zipper only went one way. If you can find those footed pajamas, if you're pregnant and you're asking for clothing from people, tell them if you have footed pajamas with zippers, make sure it's a two-way zipper. Because that's going to be so much easier, even just for diaper changes. And really, that's it for EC-friendly clothing. In the end, there's no rules. It's whatever works best for you, and is easiest for you and your baby to practice EC.

Let's cover back-ups quickly. Back-ups are just what you're going to have on your baby's bottom when you don't have a diaper on. The diaper is a back-up when you're practicing EC because you've shifted that mindset. There are a variety of different styles that we have at Tiny Undies. We have just the regular undies. This is the learned style with the bear on it, and this is great because it's got the orange patches, where you can show baby to grab to push pants down or pull them up. The bear is upside down so it's facing them, so it makes it a little bit easier for them to understand which way is up, and the leg holes are different colors. Those are great. We have them not only in the undies, but in the trainers as well. They have this padded area in the crotch. That is going to, like a cloth diaper, as you wash them, fluff up and be a little bit more absorbent. They're going to be absorbent the first time, but it's usually a good idea to prep them a little bit. These are going to hold, usually, a medium-sized pee.

Tiny Undies really is a niche. You could get just undies and trainers from the store, the generic ones, but usually they're gigantic. Especially if you've either got a slimmer or more petite kiddo, or if you're starting at six months or 12 months with undies and trainers. Often, especially the leg holes on the store-bought brands are really big and the padding in the crotch tends to be more synthetic, and so the pee doesn't really absorb into it very quickly. It'll just leak right out the leg hole. With my oldest, we got store-bought trainers and we had an incident where the poop totally skipped the undies and went straight out his leg hole when he was just wearing the trainers. These are a lot better, at Tiny Undies, if you want to keep everything contained and actually protect your flooring.

If you have a child that has a little bit more thickness to their thighs, because those leg holes can be small, you can go with the tiny boxers. These are fantastic. The leg holes are a little more generous. They don't have that same elastic around them. These are unisex, they don't have the weird little pocket in the front for boys, because almost every boy just pushes their undies down. They don't use the little pocket to try and get through. That's usually pretty difficult, especially when they're young. So these are unisex, they don't have any hole whatsoever, and these are a pretty generous size. My five-year-old is still in the 3T. He is more slim and I'm trying to convince him to trade up to the next size, but he just loves them too much, he doesn't want to let go. They come in four colors, and they're really nice and cozy and soft as well.

For a more waterproof option, you can layer either the WoolUps. Wool is naturally water resistant. Or the TinyUps, which are the cloth diaper cover that are waterproof. They're fleece-lined with these great little snaps on the side. If you have a poop miss, they're a lot easier to get off. You can layer either of these over undies or trainers, or just use them independently. A lot of people like to use the WoolUps for nighttime.

In the resources, in the Go Diaper Free book, in the appendices, there is a list of all of the different back-ups, in order of most absorbent to least absorbent. At the end of the day, what you want to choose for you and your baby is, number one, what helps your baby stay dry the longest, so something that they are not too comfortable peeing and pooping in. Although, take a look at the book and some of our other resources to find out what phases they're probably going to be fine sitting in their own pee. They go through some developmental leaps where they're willing to ignore it. In general, you're looking for something that they're going to avoid peeing in most, and is going to encourage them to give the strongest signals, to give off or try to communicate with you that they need to go pee or poop. Almost all babies will continue poop signals through any of the potty pauses or the other developmental leaps. But, here and there you do have a baby that is a little bit of a stealth pooper. That's just the rule in general, is to try to find something that works for keeping your baby as dry as possible and helping them to signal the strongest and the most often. As with everything, it's going to ebb and flow as you continue through on your journey, as they develop, as they learn new skills, and as they get more independent with the potty process.

Episode 53 is The Ultimate Guide to back-ups. I will link that as well. And that's everything that Andrea had used with all of her first either four or five children, both day and night, from birth until they were potty independent. Those are some great examples on how she shifted as needed with their needs and with their development.

Last, I want to touch on packing the diaper bag. An EC diaper bag looks really similar to a non-EC diaper bag, except you might have a potty in there. While the Top Hat Potty and the Mini Potty are both great and fit in a diaper bag, there are a variety of other seats out there, some of them that are combo seats, they can double as both a Mini Potty and a seat reducer for a big potty. A popular one is the Potette Plus. You can get reusable or disposable liners for that one as well. I'll link that.

But I think that even if you're not practicing EC, you should have a wet/dry bag. You can find these at Tiny Undies as well. If you're not familiar with these, they are waterproof in this larger compartment. This is the wet side. And the larger compartment is where you're going to put anything that's soiled. But you can also keep dry items, and the fresh, clean back-ups or clothing in the dry part, in the smaller pouch. Right now, this is my diaper bag with my 18-month-old. I don't bring a whole thing, I just bring the wet/dry bag with a couple of extra pairs of undies or TinyUps, depending on what we're doing. I actually put our folding toilet seat reducer right in the wet side, because I just feel that's an appropriate spot for it. Always have a wet/dry bag with you, or at the very least, have a roll of those disposable diaper trash bags with you. What's funny is, if you own a dog, you know that those are pretty much identical as the dog poop pickup bags. When I have those around the house, I just use those.

There are some times when you have just a giant mess that you don't want to get close to anything else. Or you can even, just like you would pick up your dog's poop, put your hand in it like a glove, grab the poop out of the Mini Potty or Top Hat Potty, and fold it in on itself, dispose of the poop, and then pour out the pee under a bush, in a sink, wherever you need. If you're having to clean up the Mini Potty from a poop mess, those disposable bags are great to have. And those are really important to have if you don't have a wet/dry bag because at some point you're going to probably have a miss and you're going to want something to keep the wet stuff away and separate from all of the dry stuff.

Obviously, extra clothes and extra back-ups, just like you would if you were packing a diaper bag. And for those of you who have already brought a child through potty training, this probably sounds really similar to that. Once you graduate out of the diapers, your diaper bag is still there. It might have snacks and other things in it, it just looks a little different. You might have a potty seat, you might have some extra clothes, maybe even an extra pair of shoes, if you think your child might have a miss and might need to change their shoes.

You also will want to go to our website and check out the EC While Out + About MiniCourse. If you want to practice EC on the go, which some of us find it a little bit easier, there's not all these distractions as there are at home, and so you can sometimes focus a little bit more on your kiddo. Or if you're planning to travel, that minicourse is great for giving you a primer on how to go about EC while you're out and about, when to offer your pottytunities, what to pack, et cetera.

And that's it, folks, those are the nuts and bolts. Today we've covered what equipment and gear you need to get started, how to hold your baby, clothing, back-ups, and even what to put in your diaper bag. I want to encourage you to try out these tips. Like we talked about last week, just give it a try. Take the diaper off, and there you've started. Start with one of the easy catches that we covered last week. That was godiaperfree.com/232. You can go back to that beginner's guide episode on how to tell your baby needs to potty and when to take them. And the technical side of it that we talked about today will help you figure out how to do that as well.

Now we want to hear from you: what gear or techniques have worked best with you in your EC journey if you're practicing already? And if you aren't or you got some new ideas today, what are you going to try? Is there a gear item that you think might be helpful? Is there a hold that you haven't tried yet, that you think might get you over that hump? I want to encourage everyone to just take whatever they think will work for their family, and leave the rest. EC is so flexible. You can find a way to work it in, even part-time, to any lifestyle. I hope you found some way to do that here.

Thank you so much for tuning in today. We would love to have you subscribe to our newsletter. Go to godiaperfree.com/start. You're going to get an Easy Start Guide there, totally free, to help you on your way getting started with your EC journey. You're going to join our mailing list, and I promise you, we do not believe in spam, so don't worry about that. What that will get you is notices for all of the challenge weeks we have throughout the year. Again, if you're listening to this after Go Diaper Free Week, please sign up for the email list because you will find out about all the sales we have, all of the events we have, and the challenges, and any new resources we come out with. You will be the first to know. Make sure you go to godiaper free.com/start.

If you are potty training or you're getting close to wanting to potty train because your child's almost at that 18-month mark, still go to godiaperfree.com/start. At the bottom of the page you'll see where to click to enter your email for potty training, and we'll make sure you get all of the news on all of the potty training resources there. If you are listening to this during Go Diaper Free Week, I hope you're participating in the challenge and I hope it's been encouraging to you. Go to godiaperfree.com/week and check out everything we have going on there.

Everything I mentioned here today that's available at tinyundies.com is on a sale for this week. Please make sure you head over there and check that out. If it's later than Go Diaper Free Week and you join our mailing list, you will find out about all of the sales we have on this amazing gear. It is really helpful. After three kiddos, I can tell you yes, you can practice EC with nothing, and a lot of this stuff is just so simple, it really helps to simplify the process for you.

Next week we will be talking about Surviving Potty Meltdown. I hope you tune in for that episode too. Go to godiaperfree.com/233 to let us know if you have questions on this episode, on the gear and techniques for EC. Thanks again for tuning in. We will see you next time.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

Watch the Video Version If you want to watch the recording of today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Resource RecommendationGo Diaper Free: my popular EC book that simplifies EC, beginning to end

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
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Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

What gear and techniques have worked best for you? If you’re just starting out, what are you most excited to try?I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!xx Andrea

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The post How to Start Elimination Communication: A Beginner’s Guide to EC Gear and Techniques appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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EC doesn't have to be complicated! In this episode, we're breaking down the basics of Elimination Communication for beginners. You'll learn how to make this simple practice a part of your daily routine with your little one. It’s not rocket science, and anyone can do it!

Whether you're a new parent or looking to try something new, EC is a great way to connect with your baby and promote healthy habits from an early age. Join us to learn how to simplify infant hygiene with EC.

You Will Hear:* What EC is and how it benefits both baby and parents * Tips for overcoming your hesitation and get started * How to know when your baby most likely needs to potty * Challenges you might face with EC and how to tackle them * How EC can simplify infant hygiene for any family, even when practiced part-time

Links and other resources mentioned today:* Go Diaper Free Resources * Go Diaper Free Book * Waterproof Pad * The Log app for iOS and Android * Blog post - How to Know When Your Baby Needs to Pee * YouTube Easy Catches series * How to begin elimination communication - Podcast #75 * Just START - Podcast #86 * Top Hat Potty * Super-part-time EC success story - Podcast #82.5 * The elevator pitch for EC - Podcast #83 * How to Solve Road Trip Potty Resistance - Podcast #189 * 100% eyes-on-potty at all times?? - Podcast #185 * My baby resists the potty and pees on the floor right after - Podcast #230 * Encouragement: Success Stories - Podcast #157 * “The Golden Window” Newborn EC Program * “Movers + Shakers” Mobile Babies EC Program * “Passing the Baton” Young Toddlers EC Program * The Premium Course Pack for EC * The Bundle - All 7 MiniCourses * Private EC Support Group on Facebook * Tiny Potty Training Book * Go Diaper Free Store * Tiny Undies Store

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript Download - Elimination Communication for Beginners: A Simple Guide to Infant Hygiene PDF

Read the full written transcript - Elimination Communication for Beginners: A Simple Guide to Infant HygieneExpandEPISODE 232: Elimination Communication for Beginners: A Simple Guide to Infant Hygiene

Hi everyone, thanks so much for joining me on the podcast today. I'm Nicole Cheever with Go Diaper Free, and this is episode 232, Elimination Communication for Beginners: A Simple Guide to Infant Hygiene. I want to welcome everyone who's new here and encourage everyone who's been listening for a while, no matter where you are in your EC journey, please stick around. Even though this is a beginner's guide, it is never a bad idea to go back to basics, regardless of where you are in your journey. If you've been practicing EC for a while or even if you've just gotten started, we'd really love to have you here. You're going to find a lot of value in this podcast, no matter where you are. So, stick around!

I'll be providing a ton of resources, but don't worry, you don't have to keep track of them. As always, you can head over to the blog when you're finished listening here, godiaperfree.com/232. You will find links to everything I mention, you can leave us comments there, we'd love to hear what you think of the episodes, or if you have experience on this topic. And of course ask us any questions you have there on the blog.

In going back to basics here, my main focus really is that EC is simple. It may not always be easy. What in parenting really ever is? It may not always be convenient, but it is very simple. It's not rocket science. You don't need to have a high level certification. You don't need to have lots of training or do a ton of research in order to practice EC and reap the benefits of even just occasional or part-time EC in your life with your baby. Anybody in any lifestyle, with any baby can get some benefits from practicing EC. And that's what I want to remind everyone of today.
When I was a first time mom, I absolutely suffered from overwhelm. I know that's very common with tons of first time parents. I had known about EC for about a decade. One of my good friends had practiced with both of her girls. Her second one was hardly ever in diapers. She started right from birth with her, and they had a lot of great success. So, I already knew that I wanted to practice EC with my baby. I was already bought into all of the benefits and all of the reasons why it was a great thing that would be beneficial for both of us, and yet I still didn't feel ready. I didn't think that I could start practicing until I was ready to do it “the right way.” And that is a huge point I want to drive home today is, there is no right way.

EC is so flexible, it's so versatile, it really is so simple. There is no one way to practice, and it's not all or nothing either. I really felt like once I started down the road to EC, I wouldn't be able to look back. There's a huge misconception out there that if you're practicing EC, you have to be with your baby all the time and you have to never use diapers, and all of these sort of extremist ideas. And maybe some people practice like that, and that might work for them, and that's wonderful. But there is so much between here and there. There's so much between full-time diapering and never using a single diaper. There is a place for everybody, and that's really what I want to emphasize in today's episode.

So let's just cover what EC is quickly, before we get into really how simple it is. EC is helping your baby with their pottying needs from as early as birth. All mammals are born with the instinct to keep themselves, their caregiver, and their sleep space clean. And we're just helping them with that, the same way we help them eat or bathe or get dressed or fall asleep until they're able to accomplish those things by themselves or for themselves. Sometimes even we still help them when they're old enough to do that because we're parents and we love them.

But we can start helping them with their toileting needs from as early as birth. The communication aspect of it is that baby is born trying to communicate all of their needs with us: that they're hungry, that they're sleepy, that they're afraid or lonely. And they are also trying to communicate with us that they need to go potty. In our modern diapering culture, we are taught to just put a diaper on and ignore that. In fact, by doing that, we're also teaching our babies to ignore that instinct because we're showing them, “you want to go potty, this is where it's available. I want you to go potty in this thing that's strapped onto you.” And we train them into the diapers. So when you have a brand new baby who's crying and you're going down that list of: “are you hungry, are you tired, are you lonely, are you cold?” All you need to do is include, “do you need to go potty?” in that list. When you've got some kind of crying mystery, you don't know what your baby needs or what your baby wants, you've got nothing to lose to just try them on the potty, and really in my opinion, everything to gain.

Crying is just one way that your baby might communicate to you that they need to go potty. We have a variety of different tools at Go Diaper Free to help you keep EC simple. The first one is the Four Roads to Potty Time. This is probably one of the biggest questions we get is, "How do I know that my baby needs to go potty?” And the Four Roads are what will get you there. The first one is signals, and I already mentioned crying. That's really common with newborns. We also have a big list in the book and in the resource center of common signals.

Every baby's different and every age and stage comes with different types of signals. Obviously a brand new baby isn't going to be crawling to the bathroom to tell you they need to go potty. But your eight-month-old will probably be doing that because they've seen you go to the potty and you've taken them there, so they understand that that is a way to communicate with you that they need to go potty. And then you are communicating to them that you will be helping them with that, the same way you've communicated throughout their whole life that you can help them eat, and you can help them sleep, and you can comfort them, et cetera. That's the first road to potty time, is their signals.

If you want to really tune into your baby specific signals, you can do some observation time. That is simply just having the diaper off, protecting your floors however you need to with either a waterproof pad or maybe going outside, and observing your baby and seeing what they do right before they pee or poop. That is your baby's specific signal. These can change throughout their development, so you can always come back to some observation time to determine what their signals are. We've got a paper log in the book and in the resource center and we also have the free Log app for both Apple and Android devices. You can just mark what your baby's doing, make a little note in there, right before they peer poop.

The second road to potty time is natural timing, which is just your baby's natural physiological cycle, how long it typically takes them before they need to pee after either waking up or feeding. The Log app can help you with that as well. And again, you can just do this during your naked observation time. You can start it right when baby wakes up and observe your baby. Notice the timing, notice their signals. Those are great ways to understand your child and how to know they will need to use the bathroom.

The third road to potty time is generic timing, and this is just when potty time fits into our natural rhythm throughout the day. I'm sure you probably try to use the bathroom before you leave to go somewhere, or before you go to bed, or after a meal. These are natural times throughout the day that we need to go potty. Your baby will have those same generic times. Whenever it's convenient for you as a family, and if you have older children and you're already doing this, it'll make a lot of sense to you, getting everyone to use the bathroom before you get in the car, at least giving them the opportunity. We call it a “pottytunity,” an opportunity to go potty. It doesn't always mean they're going to, but these are just opportunities.

The last one is your intuition. Your intuition will guide you to be able to tell when your baby needs to go potty. You probably are already noticing that either your baby is pooping or thinking about, "Oh, she probably has a wet diaper. Let me check." This is your intuition. So many messages for parents in the modern day and especially from the diaper companies, try to dissuade us, try to discourage us from using that intuition, but it is so valuable. It's there for a reason and it's really an incredibly powerful tool in helping you understand your baby. At the end of the day, nobody knows your baby like you do. You know your baby best.

Those four roads to potty time are how to know that your baby probably needs to go potty. And then we also have the Four Easy Catches. If those four roads are just a total conundrum for you, there are signals that come and go. Like I said, they change throughout development. I'm going to include a blog post in the show notes, How to Know When Your Baby Needs to Pee, and you'll see kind of with those ages and stages how those can change.

There are times when you just really want to stick to the easy catches. You haven't really noticed that your baby needs to go potty or you're having a hard time figuring it out, but you really want to have those small successes. So the easy catches are: first, the wake-up pee. Almost all of us need to pee pretty soon after we wake. It's part of our physiological function. We have a hormone that prevents us from wetting our bed by kind of shutting down our urinary tract. And then when we wake, that hormone wears off, our bladder fills, and we have to use the bathroom. So you can bring your baby to the potty, either right when they wake up or a little while later. Sometimes they need a little bit of time to wake up before they want to use the potty. But the wake-up pee is super valuable, especially with a newborn, because they're sleeping all the time, so you have tons of opportunities for that one.

Poops is another easy catch, usually. We do have some stealth poopers, but for the most part, every parent knows when their baby's pooping. Whether they run behind the couch and hide, or they squat, or grimace, or start to grunt. And even if they've already started pooping, you can take them to the potty and they will start to learn to wait for the potty.

Another easy catch kind of ties into generic timing, or what we can also call transition times. It's the ins and outs, before you put your baby in the car seat, after you take them out of the highchair or the carrier. All of those little in and out of carriers or containers, those are often good opportunities, good pottytunities, and can result in an easy catch.

The last one is diaper changes, which can seem a little counterintuitive. But when your baby is wearing a diaper, they're sometimes just peeing all the time, especially if they're kind of bored. And they might not be peeing everything, not be completely emptying their bladder. Especially if you've got a newborn who's trying to resist because they haven't been trained into the diaper yet, they might just let off a little bit of pressure, wet the diaper a little bit, and then finish later when they can't hold it anymore. So, offering your baby the potty at every diaper change will teach them that there is a regular time that you're going to be offering them the potty, and they will start to learn to hold it. They might even start to signal more strongly because they are trying to get your attention more. They're learning that, "Okay, mom or dad is going to take me to this thing so that I can pee instead of peeing on myself. So, I'm going to try to get their attention a lot more." I know my baby, as she got a little bit older and we were ditching diapers, she would signal very strongly in the diaper, because she did not want to pee in it. That can be really helpful, taking them at diaper changes.

Those are the Four Roads to Potty Time, the Four Easy Catches to really keep it simple. I'll link our YouTube channel on here as well where we have a little playlist for the Four Easy Catches. You can take a look at those. I also have a couple other podcasts. Episode 75 is How to Begin Elimination Communication at Each Age and Stage, because it will be a little bit different. And then episode 86 is Just START. Take the diaper off and there you've started. That's how simple it is.

That kind of leads me into part-time EC. As a new parent, like I said, I really thought that I had to go head first into it. It was all or nothing. I'm that kind of person who feels like I have to kind of do things all the way or it's not really worth doing. And that's just not true. I really wish someone was there to tell me from the very beginning, that I didn't have to ditch diapers completely.

Andrea just had her sixth baby. She practices EC from birth with all of her children, and she still uses diapers. It is a tool. We use it as a backup because we have cars, and carpets, and places that we can't just be letting our babies pee if we're not fully paying attention to them. And most of us don't have the luxury or don't even really want to be sitting there watching our baby all day long and doing nothing else. So, we have the diaper as a backup and as a tool. And you can still get the benefits of practicing EC even if you're not doing full-time EC.

With full-time EC, most of us really just try to aim for about 50% because, especially with other kids, it's just impractical to try and catch everything. Everybody in my household is going to have to wait at some point, so the diaper's there to help me out so there's not pee on my floor. But you can still really get all of the benefits of practicing EC part-time.

That was a big catalyst for me. I had started my coach training when I had my third baby. And even though I didn't actually start at birth, even though I was starting my coach training and I had had some EC success with my first two, I didn't have the Top Hat Potty with me there in the hospital room. I forgot it in the car. We just kind of got right back into the rhythm of home. And again, I was kind of falling into that trap of, "Well, I kind of need to be perfectly ready." No I didn't. So finally when she was about 10 days old, I looked at my husband and I said, "Let's just try it. Let's just see what happens. What do we have to lose?" Because really, we didn't have anything to lose. He agreed. I took her over to the sink, I held her over, she peed. And for the third time, I experienced what I call the “first catch high.” When you catch that first pee or poop, it's just so exciting and so rewarding. And that was it for us. We started very part-time, we eventually moved into full-time EC. She's 18 months now and we're diaper free. But we just took the diaper off and there, we started. It really is that simple.

And even if you're only catching one catch a day or one catch a week, you're still reducing your diaper usage. You're still increasing the communication and bond between you and your baby. You're still helping out the environment. Every single disposable diaper that was ever manufactured is still in existence today, somewhere in a landfill. So you are reducing that environmental impact just by saving one diaper. You're reaping the financial benefits because diapers are expensive. Even if you're using cloth, you're still using resources like water and energy to be able to clean them.

I have episode 82.5 that I'm going to link here, a Super-part-time EC success story. If you are just thinking, "This is too overwhelming and there's too much here.", listen to that episode, hear from that family. You can really have all of the benefits with practicing EC just part-time. You're still honoring your baby's natural instincts and using them to your advantage. You're helping them maintain that body sensitivity and awareness so that when it comes time to finally ditch the diapers and potty train, you're not having to reteach them that link between the sensation of, "I have this feeling in my body and then something comes out," because they've been able to still keep that connection their whole life. You're also avoiding things like diaper rash. You can be confident having some diaper-free time when you're catching pees so you can start to give them more airtime and avoid diaper rash.

Another thing, when babies are familiar with the potty and the whole routine from a very young age, you can avoid a lot of the pitfalls of later potty training like withholding, refusal, constipation that becomes chronic or even a medical issue, and fear around the potty. I can't tell you how many of my clients come to me because their child is afraid of the big toilet. But if they are familiar with it from as early as birth, you avoid so much of that. That will make your potty training experience, when you finally get there, so much more smooth and less stressful. Who doesn't want that?

I do want to quickly acknowledge that of course, there are challenges with EC. It is very simple, but again, it's not always easy. You could have some resistance from family members and caregivers. I sometimes advise people not to really broadcast that they're practicing EC or even if they're potty training at 18 months to two years. That can seem really early for a lot of the general population. I tend to say, unless it's somebody who's really going to give you a lot of support, maybe just let them know later when you've already had the success. And then you can share the success with them.

We have a podcast episode 83, which is How to Talk About EC Without Seeming Judgey or Crazy. It's the elevator pitch. You can give people a really quick simple synopsis of what you're doing in a very positive and encouraging way, and even start to answer some of their questions if they have them. If you get pushback from relatives or friends or family, or you think you might, again, maybe just keep it between those folks who are really going to support you in this endeavor.

Especially if you're just practicing part-time, you don't really necessarily need buy-in. When we were doing part-time EC with my youngest, my father-in-law was caring for her a few days a week and he just used diapers because that was easier for him. It was what he knows with his children and his older grandchildren. They've potty trained at two and a half and three years old. And so when she was about six months, that was easy for him, so that was our compromise. We just did part-time and we still had all of the benefits. Again, we're 18 months and diaper free. But we went ahead and let him use the diaper because that was going to be easiest for him.

There can also be challenges practicing EC on the go. If you are only doing part-time EC, you can just not worry about EC out of the house. But we do also have episode 189 that I'll link, How to Solve Road Trip Potty Resistance, because that can be a little bit difficult when baby's really only used to going potty at home. It will give you some tips on how to transition that to on the road, in the car, at other locations that will make it a little bit more smooth for you.

You can also fall into the trap of being really potty-centric, really just being obsessed with catching everything in the potty. And that is super important to avoid. If you're that kind of personality, keep an eye out for that. It's not a contest, we're not trying to catch everything. Episode 185 is 100% Eyes on the Potty at All Times? (No, thank you.) Take a listen if you think that you could fall into that trap because again, it is not an all or nothing thing. We really want to encourage you that your life does not have to revolve around the potty.

I mentioned before that signals can change, they can come and go. That can be really frustrating and challenging for a lot of parents and caregivers. Episode 27 goes into why signals stop and start, and what you can do in the meantime. (Hint, stick to your easy catches.)

You can also experience resistance from your child, especially as they start to get close to that 18 month mark and they want to be doing things for themselves. There are different developmental phases, mainly when they're learning to crawl and then when they're learning to walk, that you can go through what we sometimes call a “potty pause” where they're really just too busy doing all of that and not interested in using the potty at all. So episode 230 goes into details on what a potty pause is and what to do.

So, there's a little brief overview of the challenges you can face and how to handle them. Please utilize those links as your resources, but only if you're facing those challenges. Don't psych yourself out and go and read all of the things that could happen. Just take the diaper off, and there you've started. Very short and simple.

We've gone over a lot of information. We've talked about what EC is, some simple ways to practice EC, a lot of the benefits you can get, and some of the challenges you can face. I hope you're encouraged that EC really is something that everyone can try. And even if you just try it one time, I really fully believe that you will be hooked. You will experience that first catch high and you will want to keep practicing, at least in some form, with your baby.

Please head over to episode 157 that is success stories from our listeners in using elimination communication. If you're still feeling a little hesitant, listen to those success stories. I think you'll get a lot of encouragement from that too. And at the end of the day, you really have nothing to lose and everything to gain from simply just trying EC.

Thank you so much for tuning in to the Go Diaper Free podcast with me today. We've been discussing EC and how it can really simplify infant hygiene. If you've already been practicing, we'd love to hear from you. Please head over to the blog, godiaperfree.com/232, and share with us your success and your challenges. Were there any roadblocks for you starting EC, and how did you overcome them? What tips would you give to folks just starting out?

If you're new to EC or you haven't started yet, we hope this episode has encouraged you to give it a try. And we'd love to know which of these tips you're most excited to implement. Leave us a comment on the blog, godiaperfree.com/232. Ask us any questions you have there, and let us know what you think. Our community is a place where everyone can learn and grow together, so we really want to hear from all of our listeners. And if you want to learn more about EC, be sure to subscribe to our podcast. Stay tuned for future episodes, where we'll be discussing more tips and strategy for getting started. And as always, we offer a lot of troubleshooting here, in our free communities, and in all of our resources over at godiaperfree.com. I'm Nicole Cheever with Go Diaper Free. Thanks so much for listening, and we'll see you next time.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

Watch the Video Version If you want to watch the recording of today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Resource RecommendationGo Diaper Free: my popular EC book that simplifies EC, beginning to end

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
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Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

What are your tips for starting EC and overcoming any roadblocks? If you’re just starting out, which of the suggestions in this episode are you most excited to try?I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!xx Andrea

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The post Elimination Communication for Beginners: A Simple Guide to Infant Hygiene appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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When you’re pottying your baby, you don’t usually expect anything to come out the other end! But spit-up can happen any time, including during potty time. In today’s episode, I share some tips for handling (and hopefully preventing) spit-up during EC.

You Will Hear:* What might cause baby to spit up while using the potty * Conditions and complications to rule out with the help of a medical professional * How your EC hold position can be adjusted to reduce the chance of spit-up * If and when baby might grow out of spitting up while pottying * How to “dress for success” if your baby spits up on the potty

Links and other resources mentioned today:* Mini Potty * Top Hat Potty * Go Diaper Free Book * Dang this baby is getting heavy - Podcast #39 * “The Golden Window” Newborn EC Program * Find a Local Coach or EC Group * Private EC Support Group on Facebook * Tiny Potty Training Book * Go Diaper Free Store * Tiny Undies Store

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript Download - What to do when baby spits up while pottying PDF

Read the full written transcript - What to do when baby spits up while pottyingExpandEPISODE 231: What to do when baby spits up while pottying

Hello, hello. Welcome back to the podcast. I'm Nicole Cheever with Go Diaper Free. This is episode 231, What to Do when Baby Spits Up While Pottying. You can find the show notes at godiaperaperfree.com/231. The transcript is over there, all the links to everything I will mention today, and you can leave a comment and any questions you have on the blog when you're finished listening. Today we have a question from Katherine. Let's take a listen.
Katherine:Hi, my name is Katherine and I'm in Massillon, Ohio. My little baby boy is almost four months old, and my question is almost every time I hold him over the potty or the sink, he will spit up, especially when he is pooping and bearing down, which is fine when we're at home, I can clean it up, but when I'm out in public and I'm taking him to go to the bathroom, he will drench his clothes. I'm wondering if there are any recommendations you have to overcome that or if that's just something that I need to deal with in this phase of EC.

Nicole:
Thanks so much for the question, Katherine. It sounds to me like you're most likely holding your baby in what we call the classic EC hold where he's facing away from you, you've got your hands under his thighs, his back is resting against your chest, and you've got him in a good, deep squat position. Spit up is common. Many people just accept that as a part of life with a baby, and it could be because baby hasn't been burped very well. It could be a little bit positional, which is what it kind of sounds like for you. That sphincter muscle at the top of the stomach, where the stomach and esophagus meet, is immature at birth and so can be a little bit leaky sometimes, as people say.

I'm not a medical professional, of course, I'm an EC and potty training coach, but from my understanding, sometimes babies can have some medical issues, so first and foremost, make sure you rule out any medical issues. Both of my girls were born very quickly, and apparently spit up is common with babies who have a fast delivery, and I experienced that with both of my girls. We decided to resolve that with a little bit of body work. We did myofascial therapy and some people do chiropractic. Whatever feels best for you and your family and your situation, but addressing it with a medical professional could be something that could help you. There are also other things that babies deal with like reflux which of course you would want to have addressed by a medical professional.

One of my babies also had a pretty significant lip and tongue tie and until that is dealt with, either through some kind of body work therapy, stretches, or even a release of some kind, babies can have a little bit of trouble latching while nursing or being bottle-fed and that can cause more air and that can cause some of the milk to come back up and spit up. So, just try to rule out all of those things if you can first or at least any that sound like they could apply to you.

And then we want to address the position, of course. So, if the in-arms position is just not working for you and your baby, you can definitely switch it up. At almost four months, I would imagine he's probably holding his head up pretty well and it could be time to transition him to a Mini Potty rather than the in-arms position. If you're still wanting to hold him in arms over the sink, we use the sink a lot when I practiced EC with my youngest, you can try the classic cradle position where you shift the body instead of resting against your chest to resting in the crook of one of your arms. So, you're kind of cradling him like you would just if you were rocking him, but holding him over the sink or even the Top Hat Potty.

If you own Go Diaper Free, you can go into the book there, there's a positions gallery and it shows you all the different positions, and we also have podcast Episode 39 on how to transition from in arms or the Top Hat to a Mini Potty. What you could do with a Mini Potty is have him sitting on it facing you. I like to do this in the car when we're out. You can also try it in your lap or in a chair next to you discreetly if you're out and about. So, take a look at that. Take a look at the positions gallery in the book and see if there might just be another position that doesn't put as much pressure on his stomach and doesn't encourage that food to come back up as easily.

Another thing, when you're out and about especially, is try to dress for success. Try to use a bib or bandana, anything that you can think of that might help to catch anything that might come out. Just like we're going to dress for easy access to get the diaper back-up or the pants off when we're practicing EC, it's a good idea to prepare for anything else we know might happen, like if baby is going to maybe try to be reaching in the potty when they get a little bit older, or in this case possibly spitting up. Bringing wipes with you, bringing changes of clothes, whatever you might need to take care of that if and when it does happen.

Andrea made a note on this that said, "This should probably pass once solids are in the mix." We had a lot of success after utilizing some body work to help release any tension in the body that was causing some of that spit up, but you might see him growing out of this as well. If there's no underlying medical conditions, if there's nothing else that needs to be addressed, it sounds like once solids are in the mix, usually for most babies between six months to a year, this won't be as much of an issue for you.

While your baby is still young, you can take a look at our Golden Window Newborn EC Program. That's for babies zero to four months. That also has a lot of advice in it and videos on how to transition into different positions for EC, and it might be worth it to go through some of those videos and check out what would work best for you and your baby. Also, check out our private support group, poll the parents and the coaches in there and see if anyone else has any suggestions for how to deal with spit up while practicing EC.

That's it. It's a pretty short and simple answer for you today, Katherine. Thank you so much for calling in. Now I want to hear from everybody else, did or does your baby spit up while using the potty? What are your tips for preventing or managing it? Please share with us over on the blog godiaperfree.com/231. Thanks so much for listening today. I'm Nicole Cheever with Go Diaper Free and we'll see you next time.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

Watch the Video Version If you want to watch the recording of today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Resource RecommendationGo Diaper Free: my popular EC book that simplifies EC, beginning to end

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

Did or does your baby spit up while using the potty? What are your tips for preventing or managing it?I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

The post What to do when baby spits up while pottying appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on January 2, 2016

Q: What do you do if your infant does not want to use the potty at all? My baby went through a period of fussing and fighting it when I tried to potty her. I did not want to force her, but I knew she had to go--shortly after we stopped trying she would go pee on the floor. (At the time I was focusing more on timing. I pottied her just after she woke up, before putting her to sleep, and once in between.) ~Jodie D., Currently stationed overseas in Rota, Spain (Hometown: Santa Clarita, CA)

A: Hey Jodie! Great question. I had several similar questions come up while surveying my readers for their top questions...illustrating its place as #1. I want to include them here as well:

I just started ECing this week with my 6 month old daughter. I was surprised and delighted that she peed on the very first try! That gave me hope and so I continued. We have had major success first thing in the morning, after naps, and at least once during the night. Other times, though, she resists even when I know she needs to pee or poo and as soon as I set her down she goes on the floor. Any ideas why she would be willing to EC some times but not others?
~Alauna F., Standish, Maine
Is there anything we can do when a child rejects to pee in a potty but runs away and pees on a floor in like 15 minutes?
Is it something he is experimenting with his "limits of power" or just physiological necessity to pee not now but in 15 minutes?
~Sofya, USA
My seven month old son is currently going through a time where he doesn't want to use his potty. We take him, he doesn't pee, and then he pees two minutes later. This has happened in the past, but he's got over it. Now it seems to be happening again. My question is: why might a baby go through times of a potty strike if you could call it that?
~Natalie, Alberta, Canada

The summary version of this and your question, Jodie, is indeed the way you stated it, plus the "why" behind it:

What do you do if your infant does not want to use the potty at all (and then pees on the floor minutes later)? And why might this happen?Here's my "nutshell" answer of what to do, then I'll cover the why and the what to do in more depth:

My Nutshell Answer for "What to Do"First of all, look at your life from an outsider's point of view and see if there's been a major shift somewhere in there that your baby's responding to. It could even be that he's teething or on the verge of walking. Make the stress, or the pain, less by doing what your heart says to do.

Next, look at your level of potty centeredness. Are you obsessed? Are pee and poo the major topic of your day-t0-day? Do you get annoyed when things aren't all perfect catches? Do you keep track of catches?

It's always good to back off a few steps and try to connect with your babyinstead of focusing on EC. Don't worry, it won't all go to hell. Diffusing your EC focus and lowering the # of times you offer a pottytunity ALWAYS results positively!

And then see if there might be something you can teach your tot to help her have more control over the process. She just might be longing for a piece of the puzzle that you can give her!

Oh, and lastly...you might need to lay down the law (gently, but firmly) that "we sit on the potty when we need to pee." If, indeed, you are certain that your baby needs to go but is obviously resisting it...you may gently hold her on there in a hug and set the record straight. More details below...but for now just know that you have permission to lovingly discipline your child around pottying (and, well, everything...they actually want us to set boundaries for them!).

Now to the nitty gritty detailed answers..."Why?"First I'll address the why. Why do babies sometimes resist the potty, and sometimes pee on the floor moments later?

Let us define what's happening here: If potty resistance has been happening for several days in a row, your baby may be experiencing a Potty Pause. In conventional potty training terminology, this is called a Potty Strike.

See the above "Potty Pause" link to a blog post of mine that speaks to alternative views on potty pauses. And here's an excerpt from my book that covers the possible reasons:

Possible Reasons for Potty Pauses

Some reasons for potty pauses may be that baby is about to hit a developmental milestone (crawling, walking, talking, etc.), she is teething, she is sick, she is undergoing a growth spurt, she has a food intolerance or allergy, or she is distracted by her budding awareness of the world.

Some also believe that baby is testing her own limits, and that “potty pauses” are just part of the learning process. They are not necessarily a failure in EC, per se, but a sign that your baby is [healthily] becoming aware of her ability to hold it, let it go where she wishes, and decide whether or not to go at all...independence, ability, and decision-making in action! (See Article [here] for the whole theory.)

Some babies pause their pottying patterns because of their caregiverʼs energy around pottying...whether the parent is hovering or hyperfocusing on pottying, feels stressed or pressured around pottying, is anxiety or frustrated, babies pick up on it and can choose to respond by pausing. Check in with your own stress level and (hovering?) energy around pottying...you might have to dig deep to find out what youʼre emitting.

In my opinion the reason above is the top cause for potty pauses: pottycenteredness in the parent.

Other babies pause because of a big lifestyle shift in the family: travel, divorce, moving, job loss, parental discord, parent(s) working overtime, etc.

Lastly, a possibility that I often ponder is that Western babies will all of a sudden resist the usual potty routine because they are not raised in tribal communities...

Okay. So that tells you why your baby may be resisting all of sudden, after a lengthy period of success with Elimination Communication.

Again, I definitely recommend reading the article I mentioned above - about an alternative take on potty pauses.

It addresses the "peeing right after" phenomenon nicely!

And the next part of the nitty gritty: "What to do?"Now let's look at what to do if your baby is resisting and then peeing on the floor moments later.

Again, read the alternative take on potty pauses article (which has a unique perspective of "what to do" in it).

Furthermore, I'll address the question of "what to do" in three parts: (1) How to get through a resistant phase (or Potty Pause), (2) What to do if your child just won't sit on the potty, and (3) What to do about the "peeing a few minutes later" thing.

(1) How to get through a resistant phase (or Potty Pause)Here's another excerpt from my book. Yep, this came up so much that it warranted a special section in there. We also address it often on the private Forum. Here's a quote:

How to Get Through a Potty Pause

Although it may not be pleasant to be in the middle of a Potty Pause (in conventional potty training, itʼs called a Potty Strike)...know that youʼre not alone.

Here are some suggestions that experienced ECers report have helped them get through potty pauses:

Focus on being a happy & peaceful parent for the moment. Reconnect with your baby, removing your focus on EC for now. Take a nap with your baby, read books together, put her in the baby carrier and wear her around the neighborhood, sing to her. Connect!

Back off. You might be focusing entirely too much on pottying. See #1. Offer less pottytunities. Your baby is more than just a peeing & pooing machine.

Teach a new skill. Your baby may lack one of the pieces she needs to feel ownership over this process. [There's a whole new section on these building blocks in my revised book.]

Wait it out. Remember that “this too shall pass.” Usually after a few days of whatever (your babyʼs experimentation or developmental milestone) babies go back into signaling and willingly potty full-force...sometimes even better than before.

Continue to prompt your baby to go. Donʼt just stop ECing all of a sudden, even as youʼre backing off. Try to address or support the developmental milestone or teething or chaos in the home...and as you “zoom out” from your potty focus, continue to offer when appropriate and at the most obvious times (like after a nap). Pottying follows mood, so support your baby through the change, when needed, & itʼll pass.

Gently experiment with different locations, environments, receptacles, positions, and/or cue noises. Get creative. Sometimes itʼs just a simple fix...your babyʼs pottying preferences may be whatʼs shifting. Change it up and see what happens.

Seek support. Come to the Book Owners Only Support Group and tell us whatʼs going on. So many parents donʼt ask for help. Whatever you need, seek it out.

Be easy on yourself. The pressure you put on yourself or your baby during these times will just make it worse. Be gentle, inside and out.

Donʼt take it personally. It isnʼt your fault. You didnʼt do anything wrong. Somethingʼs simply out of balance. Never blame yourself...your baby is communicating something by pausing. Try to distance yourself from the problem and observe it from afar, nonemotionally, perhaps with the help of a friend or your partner.

When you find yourself totally frustrated, notice Iʼm frustrated!, take a deep breath, and regain your center. Remember the long-term goals you have around your connection with your baby. This is a tiny sliver of time as compared to a lifetime with her!

Avoid coercion, punishment, anger directed at your baby, and general upset. They donʼt help. Take care of yourself so you donʼt find yourself going to these extremes. When you do feel negative emotions (we all do sometimes!), breath deeply and take a moment to regain your center.

Laugh often. Itʼs just a potty pause. Be happy that your baby even potties at all! Most of all: stop counting your miss:catch rate. Got you didnʼt I? Instead: grateful smile. :o)

Okay...the second of three:

(2) What to do if your child just won't sit on the pottyI've got a good excerpt from my book that covers this one, too. It might surprise you, but here goes:

My Baby Will Not Sit on the Potty Any More / Long Enough to Go

If you canʼt get him to sit on the pot and pee, then catch that pee in something. My potty trainer friend likes to use a Red Solo Cup. Try it and see if he or she can pee in it instead. Works for some!

For poos, and even sometimes with pees, you may need to snuggle your baby while gently holding her on there.

When you get the signal or see the pee/poo dance, sit your baby down on the potty and say "poo goes in the potty." If he tries to fuss out of it or stand up, hold him there in a snuggly warm hug, saying "This is how poo goes where it belongs. Thank you for sitting." Stroke his back, get close, sing to him.

Itʼs kinda like gently holding your flailing, screaming, rebelling child on the car seat as you strap her in while sheʼs struggling like hell to get out. It is for her safety, and you are not hurting her. You are taking charge in a way that is caring, healthy, and necessary.

Sometimes with pee and poo, it becomes the case of dire need. It is time. You need to sit for your hygiene, and your mental health.

Sometimes at night, when he was a young toddler, I had to hug my baby boy (who was not-so-cuddly) to get him to stay and finish his business (pees).

For poop, the instinct IS stronger to sit and squat, so trust that your child, once firmly encouraged, will get it and continue with consistency. If you need to show him how to squat, do so.

Just get the message across gently, firmly, and consistently, knowing in your heart that itʼs best for him to pee and poo in the potty, not on the floor or in his pants.

He will follow your lead.

I especially love this concept. It feels right in a way, doesn't it? Taking charge and all.

In fact, I recently read a story from a woman who met this challenge in a similar way. Here's a quote from that anonymous person who overcame potty resistance with loving discipline:

So I ask him to please sit, telling him the potty is for sitting and placing my hand against his pelvis to encourage him. After a minute of not-really-unhappy resistance on his part, he'll usually sit and pee. And if he does have to pee, he'll sit just in time, almost every time (so far), and seem relieved and not stressed anymore. If he continues to resist, I take him off, though, and figure that I misread his signals. Occasionally he will pee after he's off the potty, but not often.

And the third of the three "what to do"'s:

(3) What to do about the "peeing a few minutes later" thingFirst off, you can try to get your baby to stay on the potty a few moments later...by utilizing the sitting wisdom in (2) above.

You can also change your timing that is based on your baby's natural rhythms after eating and sleeping...offer the pottytunity 5-10 minutes

Next, when you arrive in the bathroom, close the door behind you. This can prevent a trail of pee after the resistance happens...and baby decides to galavant off and pees on the floor a tad bit later. You see, better to get the "after pee" IN the bathroom than on your carpet. :)

Also, limit naked time. I have a whole new section in my book about this topic. "Diaper-free" does NOT mean "naked all the time." If you meet resistance, back off and put a diaper back-up back on, if she does pee moments later then at least it'll be contained. When she's ready to pee in it a second time (if you didn't notice)...she'll most definitely tell you! And eventually the first pee in the diaper goes away too.

Make sense?

And The Re-set...a last resort for those who need oneI teach a tool called the "Re-set" in my book and on my Forum.

Basically, you're instituting a formal 2 week break from all ECing activities.

The main point is to give you, the parent, a break. To reduce the stress in the house. That sorta thing.

It also gives baby a chance to really tell you when he feels like he needs to go potty. All the pressure's off. No one to know about his needs but himself. Full control.

9 times out of 10, he'll start asking strongly during the re-set for you to take him. Of course, you would take him during the re-set ONLY if he strongly signals, but otherwise there is just one communication per morning:

"You are going to wear your diaper all day today. We're taking a break from the potty. IF you need to go, tell Mama/Papa and I'll take you."

And leave it at that. Follow through. But drop the rest ONLY for 2 weeks.

That's the dummed-down version of the Re-set. For a better handle on it, see the book and special thread on the Forum for the totally simple steps.

Alright! So, Jodie, I hope that I answered your question. It's a doozy to be in the middle of, but usually simpler-than-expected to get out of!Everyone...please leave your experiences with Potty Pauses, peeing right after, and other shenanigans in the comments below!

Thanks! Andrea

Watch the Video Version (new!) If you want to watch the recording of today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Resource RecommendationPotty Pause Resolution Minicourse: a MiniCourse that will help you understand what's happening when baby resists, learn the steps through it, and prevent another from happening (or being quite so dreadful)...

Go Diaper Free: my popular EC book that simplifies EC, beginning to end

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You’ve heard there’s a difference between EC and potty training, but what is it, and why? Is there a point when it’s better to shift gears? In today’s episode, Nicole breaks down when it’s appropriate to use EC vs potty training, and how you can transition from one to the other.

You Will Hear:* The major differences between EC and potty training * When it might be appropriate to shift from EC to potty training * How to determine which method is best-suited for your child * The philosophy and science behind why EC doesn’t work for older toddlers * Helpful considerations before beginning potty training

Links and other resources mentioned today:* How to start potty training - Podcast #218 * Go Diaper Free Book * Wrapping Up EC MiniCourse * Tiny Potty Training Book * “Tiny Potty” board book * Hybrid Plan included with the Go Diaper Free Book * Find a Local Coach or EC Group * Private EC Support Group on Facebook * Private Potty Training Support Group on Facebook * Go Diaper Free Store * Tiny Undies Store

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript Download - Shifting from EC to Potty Training: What's the difference? PDF

Read the full written transcript - Shifting from EC to Potty Training: What's the difference?ExpandEPISODE 229: Shifting from EC to Potty Training: What's the difference?

Hi, everyone. Thanks for joining us again today. I'm Nicole Cheever with Go Diaper Free, and this is episode 229, Shifting from EC to potty training: What's the difference? You can find everything I'll talk about today on the show notes over at godiaperfree.com/229. When you're done listening here, head on over, leave us a comment, ask us any questions you have. We always love chatting with you on the blog.

Many of our readers and listeners often wonder, what's the difference between elimination communication and potty training? Not just the nuts and bolts differences, but how do you move from the more carefree mindset of EC, the, "That's okay. We'll try again later" type of philosophy, to the more strict mindset of potty training when every pee and poo goes in the potty every time? This can be a confusing transition for a lot of people, especially when they get to the end of EC and aren't really sure where to go next. It's sometimes hard to decide which is right for you. It typically depends on age, and you also can wrap-up EC with potty training. And we will go into all of the details of that here in today's episode.

First, I want to address age. We typically say that elimination communication is only appropriate for children 18 months and younger, and even some of them will start to blossom into true toddlers more around 16 or 17 months, or maybe even earlier. So it's dependent on your specific child. But the reason for this is because there is some major brain development going on during this age range, and this particular leap, as it's sometimes called, ends right around 18 months, give or take. This is when they have been building their long-term memory. Eighteen months is known as the language explosion period for both understanding and expressing. The emerging individuation and independence of a toddler is starting to show, and they're beginning to understand their parents are other. They also have a great need for mastery and a hunger for knowledge.

As I said, this does depend partly on their personality. Some children hit this phase sooner than others. Some are very chill babies. Andrea's had one of those who could wait and be guided along with EC until they were 20 or 21 months old. It really, really depends on your child. A quick anecdote, my second born was in diapers up until about 16 and a half months when we started to try EC with her, and it was a disaster. She wanted control, so we took a break. Our next opportunity was Thanksgiving week, and we did a potty training experience, and it went great. She was a little over 18 months at that point. And there are some things I would do differently now, being on this side of it, but that's maybe for another episode. The point is EC was too parent-controlled and wishy-washy for her. She was a very independent child, interested in clothing manipulation far sooner than my oldest was, and she wanted to be in control. And that's really the crux of it. When your child hits the phase where they really want to be in control and when they are developmentally capable of performing all of the tasks needed for potty independence, that's when you really want to switch gears.

I recorded Episode 218 not too long ago on how to start potty training, and both of the parents that submitted questions for that episode had children who were kind of in this transition phase, so you can listen to that episode to get a little bit more information on that as well.

Now, kind of the philosophical differences between EC and potty training. Elimination communication is mostly about the “C,” the communication part. You are learning from each other. It's a time of great development, when secure attachments are made. EC tells your baby that they can trust you to help them with their pottying needs. EC is all about assisting the baby with the potty because they can't do it themselves. It's more about exposure, and it can also be done completely part-time. Practicing EC part-time or minimally, even just trying one catch a day, is not going to derail your EC practice in any way. Being laissez-faire and wishy-washy about potty training really could. So that is a big difference. Potty training is teaching them the skills they need to be potty independent because they are developmentally capable of learning and performing those skills.

Hopefully, EC gradually builds as developmentally appropriate over time, so that baby can be fully independent between 12 and 18 months. It's a natural progression. It's like any other skill: eating, walking, talking, et cetera. If you follow the natural progression and build in those skills, you will eventually have taught all the steps to the potty training experience, just over a longer period. If you have been practicing EC and you're at that walking stage, they've mastered walking, or even you've hit 18 months, 20 months, and you're still practicing EC, and especially if it's really starting to fall apart, which it might at that point, please check out the Wrapping Up section in the Go Diaper Free book, and there's also our Wrapping Up EC MiniCourse that can give you a deep dive into how to do that. If you did not build in those skills and teach them along the way with elimination communication, you can kind of give your child a crash course in that to build potty independence.

The potty training experience packs all of the same teaching into just a few days or weeks. And this is very important to do it in a short period of time for that phase of development, for that 18 months and older crowd. At the end of the day, this is their journey. You can follow all of the tips and tricks, and they still have to figure it out. You, as the parent, can do everything you know and have learned and have read, but it's up to your child to put the pieces together and do it for themselves. And this can be really hard, especially as a first-time parent, that can be a really hard transition to make. But during this stage of development, it is most effective to lay it all out and let them do just that, just figure it out. Drawing the process out maintains the parent's control, and that can be met with a lot more resistance, kind of like I saw with my daughter. I was trying to guide her, and she really wanted to take the lead. Plus, dragging it out gets the same tasks accomplished, along with the same struggles and battles if you're going to have any, just over a longer period of time, and who wants that? It's just dragged out longer. It's longer-lasting stress and anxiety for both of you, so it is most effective and easiest on both child and caregiver if you do a shorter potty training experience. That's why The Tiny Potty Training Book is written the way it is and helps you to wrap up in anywhere from about a week to a month, depending on how young your child is. When your child is closer to that 18-month mark, it might take a little bit longer. It might be a little bit more involved as far as teaching some of the skills. But if you're working with a three-year-old, you could probably get it done in a couple of days if you're committed to it.

Another theme that often comes up with this is the idea of being gentle. Many people who decide to practice EC also ascribe to gentle parenting, natural parenting, Montessori, and other similar philosophies. Here is where a lot of parents get confused. Gentle does not mean gradual, and it does not mean child-led. A more clear term would be non-coercive. The Tiny Potty Training Book teaches you a gentle, or also known as a non-coercive, method of potty training. Toddlers need clear boundaries and direction. It helps them feel physically and emotionally safe, and it causes less confusion, and they're able to take more pride in their accomplishment. Pride is key, by the way. More on that in a moment.

Gentle means teaching and allowing your child the space to learn, take it in, process, and go through the phases of development without trying to force the issue. You're not going to be using bribes or prizes or consequences. All of these are an effort to maintain control and, at the end of the day, an effort to persuade, or a more harsh term would be “coerce,” your child into using the potty. So that's one of the things that gets confused is many people want to do a more gentle approach, and they think that means that they have to take the child's lead with it. It is so key to remember, in the toddler phase, your child needs those clear boundaries. They are still going to want to do it themselves, but they need clear and consistent rules.

What are your family rules? That might be something to think about before you enter into potty training. How do you communicate them, and how do you encourage everyone in the family to follow them? Do you always sit at the table to eat? Is everyone expected to remove their shoes when they enter the house? If you're finding you're having struggles with these kinds of rules and boundaries, it may be best to evaluate those before embarking on potty training with a child 18 months or older. Typically, if you're meeting resistance, having power struggles in any of those areas, it can and probably will spill over into the potty training, where you're trying to lay out a new set of rules that's something else for your child to push up against. So how you respond when your child pushes up against boundaries in everyday life is a pretty good predictor of how your child is going to respond and how you're going to respond when they push up against boundaries during the potty training process.

Just remember, gentle is firm, firm is gentle. Gradual or casual is frustrating, and unclear, and controlling. When you drag it out, you are still trying to control the process. They don't want their pace controlled. Give them the tools, allow them to rise to the occasion, let them run with it.

EC can be casual, but potty training requires commitment. A toddler's job is to push up against those boundaries and figure out if they are true, if they always exist in every situation. And if you are non-committal, you are telling them you didn't really mean it when you communicated those rules. That's when we fall into traps like giving the diaper back for pooping, withholding issues, chronic or medical constipation. None of us wants that. So, again, if you're finding that your child is really pushing up against your boundaries, which is their job, and you are having a hard time maintaining them, that is a really important thing to work on before you get into potty training.

An illustration I like to use when I'm talking about the difference between EC and potty training is feeding. When your baby is born, they cannot feed themselves. Whether you're nursing, bottle feeding, or a combination, somebody has to feed the baby until they are developmentally capable of bringing the food to their own mouths. Bottle feeding a baby, nursing a baby is similar to EC. You're going to be a little child-led in the sense that your baby is going to communicate to you when they're hungry or when they need that comfort, and you are going to learn their cues, just like you would in EC, to know when it's time to feed the baby.

As they get a little older, as you're introducing solids, you're going to start picking meal times for them, and presenting them with food, and laying down some family rules: Where we eat. Do we keep the food on the plate? As they get older, do we use a fork or spoon rather than our hands? My baby is almost 18 months right now, and we're going through a phase of her throwing her food all over the floor when she's done eating. I can tell she's not hungry anymore because she starts to try to throw it. And at that point, I remove the food. I don't want to encourage that. That's not what we do in our house. We don't throw food all over the floor. I usually try to enlist her help and teach her how to pick it up when there is food on the floor, teaching her another rule that when we make a mess, we clean it up. And I try to be as consistent as possible with these rules and boundaries because she needs to learn them. She is part of our family, she is part of our wider culture.

If we go out to a restaurant, I don't want to have my kids throwing food all over the floor. And so, I have to maintain consistency with those boundaries and just be very firm, gentle and firm. It's not punitive. It's not a punishment to pick up the food off the floor, it's just what we do. It's not a punishment to use a spoon, I'm teaching her. And she's not always going to be able to hold it well right away, it's going to be a learning curve. Some things, it's going to be easier for her to pick up with her hands, or she's just really hungry, so she's going to go for that. I have some understanding of where she should be developmentally to allow for that. I'm still going to allow some eating with her hands. And even my older kids, we all know there's certain foods that are appropriate to eat with your hands. If I serve them a sandwich, I'm not going to give them a fork. They can use one if they want, but it's not going to be a rule I'm going to maintain.

If you think about it like feeding, that might be a little bit easier to understand, because I think that's better understood in our culture that when babies are really young, we have to do all the feeding for them. As they get older, we are going to give them the tools they need to be able to self-feed. Eventually, we're going to be teaching them to make food, and they're going to be setting their own schedule for meal times. So it's a progression, but right around at that 18-month stage, if you haven't already, you will notice that they will start testing the boundaries. They will start throwing the food on the floor, and throwing the implements, and dumping the bowl, and experimenting, and that's going to be the same thing that's going to happen with their potty learning.

I mentioned before that pride in their accomplishment is so important. This is really the only way you're going to avoid feeling the need for any kind of reward or extrinsic motivation, as we call it. If their motivation for going potty is coming from outside of them in the form of M&M's or stickers or a toilet that makes a lot of funny noises when you flush it, whatever it may be, then that's not going to be reliable. That's not a way to maintain this motivation. The only way to maintain motivation is to have it come from within, have it be an intrinsic motivation, and that is built best by allowing them the space to have ownership and find mastery with the task, so that they can feel that sense of pride.

We talk a little bit about whether or not to celebrate, and Andrea herself has even gone back and forth. My general philosophy is I recommend only celebrating as much as you would with any other developmental milestone. When your baby takes their first steps, you're usually pretty excited. I know I always am. It never gets old for me. I might clap and cheer, but eventually, your baby's walking, and it's just part of what they do. It's part of what they know. So the first time your baby goes in the potty, you can say, "Yay, you did it. Great job," or some kind of light celebration like that. But if you try to hype it up and be really excited every single time, then that starts to get into that extrinsic motivation as sort of a reward, and your child is going to be performing rather than just completing a task that's part of everyday life.

If you don't have them already, Go Diaper Free and The Tiny Potty Training Book are going to be your go-to, complete manuals for all of this information. Everything I talked about here is in there. Of course, they both come with your support community and downloads, and lifetime updates.
Go Diaper Free... Actually, I believe both of them come with the hybrid plan. There is sort of an in-between if you've got a young toddler between 12 and 18 months. And the hybrid plan is what I tried to start out doing with my second child, but she was just fully in toddler land, so I had to regroup and just do the potty training experience with her.

If you have a child who is newborn to 18 months, and you want to start EC, of course, Go Diaper Free is going to be the best book for you. Even if you've done EC and you're having a little trouble wrapping up, you can get The Tiny Potty Training Book and just go through a quick potty training experience, and that should wrap it all up for you. Both books have in there the “Building Blocks of Potty Independence,” and those are all the skills that, for EC, you want to be building over time, and for potty training, you're going to teach in that short period, start to finish to be able to complete the pottying task.

We also have the Tiny Potty board book in both board book and digital forms, and it's a really cute little rhyming story that goes through the whole potty process, start to finish. And that can be a great motivator too when your child sees themself in that book, completing all of these tasks. They learn and they process through play and through stories, so that can be a really great way to help them put all those pieces together in their brain, process it, and be able to complete that whole task.

There you have it, folks. That's the nuts and bolts of the difference between EC and potty training, as well as a little bit of the reason and philosophy behind it. And now, we'd like to know, which did you try with your kiddo or kiddos? Did you try elimination communication? Did you do potty training? Was it a combination of both? What did you learn from the experiences, and would you do it the same way again if you knew what you know now? Head over to the blog, godiaperfree.com/229, and let us know there. Thanks so much for joining us today. I'm Nicole Cheever with Go Diaper Free, and we will see you next time.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

Watch the Video Version If you want to watch the recording of today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Resource RecommendationGo Diaper Free: my popular EC book that simplifies EC, beginning to end

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Which did you try with your kiddo(s): EC or potty training? What did you learn? Would you do things the same way again?I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!xx Andrea

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Did you know your newborn might cry because they have a natural instinct to stay dry? Could there be a connection to excessive crying bouts (like “colic”)? Find out in today’s episode as I take you through some possible explanations for your baby’s unexplained fussiness.

You Will Hear:* The definition and common indications of “colic” * Alternative explanations for prolonged, inconsolable crying * How to find help if your baby’s crying is causing you extreme distress * How EC helps to prevent diaper blowouts * Why practicing EC could help to resolve some fussiness

Links and other resources mentioned today:* Why parents are going diaper-free - Podcast #1 * Go Diaper Free Book * Definition of Colic from Johns Hopkins Medicine * The Period of PURPLE Crying * Frustrated With Your Baby’s Crying? * “Happiest Baby on the Block” * What Would an Indigenous Person Say? - Podcast #147 * Newborn Cries While Pottying - Podcast #209 * Meg Faure on Unlocking Sensory Personalities - Podcast #186 * Our Common Enemy - Podcast #165 * Gassy/Fussy Babies - Podcast #159 * “The Golden Window” Newborn EC Program * Find a Local Coach or EC Group * Go Diaper Free Store * Tiny Undies Store

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript Download: Can EC Prevent Colic?.pdf

Read the full written transcript: Can EC Prevent Colic?ExpandEPISODE 228: Can EC Prevent Colic?

Hello and welcome to the Go Diaper Free podcast. I'm your host for today's episode, Nicole Cheever, Go Diaper Free Certified Coach and mama of three kiddos who all did EC and potty training at different ages and stages.

Hi, everyone. Welcome back. Thanks so much for joining me again today. This is Nicole Cheever with Go Diaper Free, and this is Episode 228: Can EC prevent colic? You can find the show notes, links to everything I mentioned today over at godiaperfree.com/228. Please leave us a comment, ask us any questions you have, and chat with us over there on the blog. We love to hear from you.

Today's topic is really interesting. It actually came up as part of the very first episode on this podcast. Andrea polled her readers to find out why they wanted to practice EC, and one of the reasons was to possibly prevent colic. I want to give a little disclaimer here. I am not a medical or behavioral expert. I am an elimination communication and potty training coach, I'm a mom of three, and I am also someone who was “diagnosed” with colic as a baby, so this is a very interesting topic for me. I use the air quotes for a reason, I will tell you in just a minute. I wrote this episode a little bit backwards, like Andrea wrote her book, Go Diaper Free, where I'm going to give you all the meat right up front, and then I will get into the science and everything that I've researched that I think will blow your mind. I hope it will.

Let's get right to it. Can EC prevent colic? The answer is a very solid "maybe." It can, but there's no guarantee. Anecdotally, it seems to help improve colic symptoms. That's one of the reasons that Andrea's readers, when she first started this podcast, said that one of their top reasons for trying EC was to try to prevent colic. There hasn't been a lot of scientific studies done, but parents have reported that EC can help with their baby's fussiness.

Now, if you're joining us and you had a colicky baby or you have one right now and you either haven't practiced EC or didn't do it during that period, there's no guilt. There's no shame here, that's not the purpose of this episode, it's just informational. We don't know what we don't know. No shame or judgment upon any of us. This is a purely educational episode, and I hope you learn something new from it.

Now let's get to the science of it, and I hope you stick around for this because I find it very interesting. The definition of colic from Johns Hopkins Medicine:
“What is colic?
Colic is when a healthy baby cries for a very long time, for no obvious reason. It is most common during the first 6 weeks of life. It usually goes away on its own by age 3 to 4 months. Up to 1 in 4 newborn babies may have it.
Colic is defined as when a baby’s crying:
Lasts for more than 3 hours a day
Happens more than 3 days a week
Occurs for more than 3 weeks
Colic often begins suddenly, with loud and mostly non-stop crying. This constant, extreme crying can be very stressful and difficult for parents. Babies with colic are often fussy, gassy, and don't sleep well. But in most cases they grow and gain weight normally. Colic will go away on its own. This often happens by age 3 months, and in most cases by age 6 months.
What causes colic?
Experts don’t know for sure what causes colic.”

There are a few key phrases I want to pick out later in that, but first I want to mention that criteria that's used to diagnose colic, that's called the "rule of three": three hours a day, three days a week for three weeks or more. It's a little bit outdated. A lot of providers these days just identify colic when there's prolonged, inconsolable crying that is affecting the parents and the baby's life. So that's just the formal definition of it. As it said right there, experts don't know what causes it, and there's really nothing that you can do about it. Or so that's what providers have thought for a very, very long time.

There are other professionals that have come along since and have tried to offer solutions to crying, and I'll mention one of those in a minute. First, I want to bring up this advocacy campaign called the Period of PURPLE Crying. They have started their campaign because something that is unfortunately sometimes linked with colic is what's called shaken baby syndrome. Because our brains are wired to respond and relate to our baby's crying, as it said in the Johns Hopkins' definition, that can really affect the parents sometimes. If you have gone through colic, you will know what I'm talking about. It is a struggle. It is very stressful, and it can drive parents sometimes to respond harshly to their children to the point where they could become injured.

These advocacy groups have come up to try to bring light to the situation, educate parents about it. In fact, I found out about the Period of PURPLE Crying when my first was born. He was born in a birth center inside of a hospital, and we actually were required to watch a DVD from the Period of PURPLE Crying campaign and sign off a form that we had watched it before we were allowed to leave. So it was something that they took very seriously. Of course, it is a serious subject.

Here's where I want to encourage you: If at any point, whether your baby has colic or not, if at any point you're feeling stressed to the point where you're worried that you might harm your baby or you're worried that you might do something out of character, please put your baby in a safe place like a bassinet or a play pen. You can use a video monitor and just mute the sound and take a break. Take a 10 to 15-minute break. There is nothing wrong with taking that break. The crying does not harm your baby. Colic does not harm the baby. As the definition said, in most cases, they grow and they gain weight normally. It's distressing, absolutely, it's very stressful, but it doesn't hurt your baby. I know some of you may have heard opinions about sleep training methods like "cry it out" and how that's damaging. That's not this. If you are worried about the effect that your baby's crying is having on you, please, please, put them down somewhere safe and take a break. Maybe in that break you can go and call someone to talk to or call someone for help. I'm going to link this advocacy group in here. They have information on the type of help you can get. Take that break. Calm your nervous system first. Put your oxygen mask on first so that you can go and help your child.

Let's dive in just for a second about what the Period of PURPLE Crying is, how it's defined by this group. One of the reasons they put this definition together is as an alternative to colic, because it normalizes the crying behavior instead of pathologizing it and making parents think that something is wrong with their baby. Like the Johns Hopkins' definition said, these babies are normally healthy, they just go through these bouts of unexplained crying. All babies go through crying, but some babies, who are usually labeled as “colicky,” experience it more often and/or more intensely. So it's important for parents to understand, too, that it is a normal behavior, and that may help to lower the level of distress at least a little bit. It's not harmful. It's not related to future negative outcomes. If your baby has gone through colic or is going through colic, they still can grow to be healthy, happy little babies. It is a challenging period. That's why they call it a Period of PURPLE Crying because it does always resolve, and it will not be detrimental to your baby long term. So hopefully you find a little bit of comfort in that.

The purple is not the color, although I have seen my babies turn very, very bright red sometimes when they're intensely crying. The PURPLE is an acronym. The first P is “Peaks” because it usually starts at around three weeks and then peaks somewhere around eight weeks before it starts to lessen, so it gets worse and then it gets better. U is “Unexpected,” and the quote is, "It's not related to dirty diapers, feeding, or anything going on in the environment. It stops and starts unexpectedly no matter what the caregiver does." That point we'll get back to a little bit later because there are theories that it could be related to dirty diapers. But the point is that it seems to be unexplained. R is “Resistant to soothing.” The second P is the baby looks like they are in “Pain” or maybe even the sound of their cry sounds like they're in Pain. L is “Long-lasting bouts, it can be hours.” The E at the end is “Evening and late afternoons is most common.” Some people call this the witching hour. It can happen with every baby. Even though I have not had what would be described as a colicky baby, I've had three babies who have absolutely gone through the witching hour. That's the intent of this campaign is to help parents understand that colicky crying is normal. Every baby goes through it, but babies who are labeled as colicky just tend to be a little bit more sensitive and go through it a little bit more intensely.

Another alternative explanation is from Dr. Harvey Karp. I read his book, “Happiest Baby on the Block,” when I was pregnant with my first. It was given to me by a coworker, and she said it absolutely changed her outlook. I love the book, I think it's entertaining, it's written in a fun way. Especially if you're kind of a science-minded or even a person that likes mysteries and solving puzzles, it's a great read for you because he goes through all of the typical reasons that doctors and society have given for why babies have colic and why probably none of them are true. The Johns Hopkins definition noted gassiness. Dr. Harvey Karp goes through a pretty detailed explanation about why, when we characterize colic, it is most likely not gas. In fact, it's pretty impossible or improbable for it to be gas that the baby is struggling with. So I would recommend picking that up if you're interested.

He has some pretty funny little vignettes in it where he imagines elaborate Stone Age scenarios of why the baby is crying. One of them he does point out is because the baby might need a fresh loincloth, which I think is really funny. If you've listened to this podcast for a while or if you've read a couple of the posts on the blog about the history of elimination communication, you'll hear that many intact cultures practice EC around the world. They don't call it that, but they potty their babies from infancy, and they don't need to be changing those loincloths because either the baby is naked or they're in something that they can pee while they're wearing, like split crotch pants. So it's just a funny little story that he has in there, a little storyline.

He has a section that is called the 10 Universal Clues to Colic. These are the 10 identifiers of colic. The last two that are especially of interest to this topic are number nine, “babies are healthy and happy between bouts of colic,” and number 10, “in some cultures around the world, colic is rare or non-existent.” That's a very interesting point. I will link an episode, I believe it's an episode of the podcast: What would indigenous people say about pottying their babies? That's an interesting read to hear about intact cultures and how they go about, even in modern-day society, just pottying their babies right from birth.

Another thing that Dr. Harvey Karp mentions as being a reason babies might be having these crying bouts is because they're learning to poop. He notes that this muscle coordination is very difficult. If you have read in Go Diaper Free or listened here on the podcast about babies crying when they're first EC-ing, when you're EC-ing a baby from the newborn stage, that's very common because not only are they laying on their back a lot of the time, which is a hard position to poop in, they are also learning to coordinate their sphincter muscles and their abdominal muscles together. You have to relax your sphincter and tighten your abdominal muscles at the same time in order to get the poop out, so that causes a little bit of frustration in a lot of babies. That can be a reason for unexplained crying or at least crying that the parents can't identify the source of.

He also mentioned that babies have something called the gastrocolic reflex. Their intestines are pretty short, they're mostly full, once something goes in, something needs to come out. This is one of the reasons that many of us find our babies will poop while they're nursing. Because while they're taking food in, it cues their intestines that they need to make room, and it'll start coming out the other end. So I just thought that was really interesting he included that in his book because we teach that as coaches, and we talk about that in Go Diaper Free as a reason that babies might poop while they're nursing.

He also noted that sometimes babies are just very sensitive. Obviously, we all have different temperaments, different personalities. There is a podcast I will link about sensory personalities that's very interesting. It's an interview that Andrea did. Sometimes babies are just upset that they're upset. They start crying, it's not resolved within a certain amount of time, and now they're just mad that they're mad. If you have a baby that just tends to be more sensitive to certain stimuli, they're going to get upset a little bit more easily, and it might be hard to decipher what that reason is.

Lastly, in this information dump I'm doing here, I'm going to take a quote right from Go Diaper Free by Andrea Olson: "Human babies, like all mammals, are born with an instinct and a fine set of supporting hormones to not pee or poop on themselves, you, or their bed. They are born disliking feeling soiled and prefer to maintain good overall hygiene. Although the instincts for poop are often stronger than pee, some babies don't mind occasional wetness."

So that is all of the background information in a nutshell. Now I'm going to take you a little bit into the weeds to try to bring this full circle as to why and how EC might help improve the symptoms of colic, or we can just call it excessive crying as well. So bear with me here. Let's put the pieces of this puzzle together.

Here's what we know: Babies don't want to soil themselves. They cry to alert us of their needs. When babies cry, most caregivers run down the mental list of baby needs, checking them off to see which one baby wants. Are they hungry? Are they tired? Are they hot, cold, lonely, overstimulated? Or do they have a wet or dirty diaper?

Full-time conventional diapering teaches babies to ignore these instincts to not soil themselves, or at least to stop asking the caregiver for help, because it teaches them that we want them to use the diaper as a toilet. Again, we don't know what we don't know. Many of us were not raised to notice the requests for a hygienic way to eliminate. So the baby learns that they're supposed to use the diaper, and that they can go ahead and ignore those sensations in their bodies. Then when they're toddlers, we have to retrain them to pay attention to those sensations and use a different receptacle for a toilet.

What's known as colic or excessive crying typically ends within the “fourth trimester,” as it's known, which is the first three months after birth. This is also when we would have expected most babies to have learned to ignore these hygiene instincts. Some humans, as I mentioned, are more sensitive than others, and this seems to be true of so-called colicky babies.

Here's the scenario: Baby is crying because he wants to eliminate hygienically. Caregiver checks the diaper and it's dry, so they continue down the list of needs. When the crying doesn't stop after an attempt to meet all of those needs, (hungry, cold, etc.), the caregiver starts back at the top of the list. This time, once they get to the diaper, it's wet or dirty. Has this ever happened to you? Because it's definitely happened to me with my firstborn. You check the diaper one time, it's dry. You keep trying other things to stop the crying. You get back to the diaper, now it's wet. You say to yourself, or maybe even out loud to the baby, "See, I knew you had to go pee." That's a topic maybe for another day, but just going to point out that those of you that are worried that you don't know when your baby has to pee, there's your proof right there that you know when your baby has to pee.

All right, back to it. Caregiver changes the diaper now that it's wet or dirty. Most babies, those three out of four who are not categorized as being overly sensitive, have excessive crying, or “colicky,” those three out of four babies stop crying at this point. The caregiver thinks, "Oh, that's what you wanted," yet, for some reason, doesn't make the connection that baby didn't want to go potty on themselves.

What could be happening is these sensitive babies, these one out of four babies, by the time the diaper is soiled and gets changed, now they are just upset that they are upset. They've gotten into that snowball, heightened emotional response, and it's hard to come down off of that cortisol high. The crying could have already gone on for a long time even before the diaper got soiled because baby was resisting pottying in the diaper. While baby's sphincters are still immature at birth and do strengthen over time, they can still hold it for short periods. Parents could also be running into an ongoing cycle where the baby doesn't calm down before the next time they have to eliminate, so then it strings together. So baby's crying because they have to pee. They don't get changed for, let's say, 30 minutes. They finally pee and get changed. They're crying because they're angry and just crying and upset now. Then all of a sudden they have to pee again, so it's just like one continuous cry. That could be a possibility as well.

Since colic self-resolves around three months of age, this could be the baby getting to the point where they've learned that the diaper is where they're expected to pee or poop, even though they don't want to. So he's now being trained into diapers as a toilet and will need to be trained out later.

There you go, folks. That's the possible connection. It is a little bit of a rabbit hole, like I said. It brings me to so many other questions that maybe I'll poll you all on social media for. But it makes me wonder: if you had what's known as a “colicky baby” or a baby that experienced bouts of excessive unexplained crying, did you also have a hard time potty training? It makes me wonder if those things are linked.

In general, there's a lot we just don't understand about this whole topic. Obviously, a lot of factors at play. Needing to go potty is only one possibility in this scenario. Andrea herself has dealt with colic in some of her babies. She has six now, and she's practiced EC with all of them from birth. Two of them had oral ties. It turned out that that contributed to the fussiness in at least one of them. But in general, this is a multifaceted topic. Humans are complex beings. There's a lot going on. Every family is so different and dynamic. That's why the answer to this question falls squarely in the "maybe" category.

If you came here today hoping to find a yes or no, sorry about that, but I hope you still found this somewhat educational. If your baby has had colic symptoms and you've tried everything else, it can't hurt to try EC. At worst, you'll save some money on diapers, and at best, you might help resolve the issues a little bit.

If you want to take a deep dive in doing EC with a newborn, zero to four months, you can take a look at our Golden Window Newborn EC Program. This will teach you all about how to start EC in the newborn period and will go into how to resolve things like crying while you're trying to potty your baby that we talked about a little bit earlier.

Now, I want to hear from you. Do you have any experience with colic? If you practiced EC, do you think it helped alleviate any of the symptoms? What do you think about this theory? We'd love to find out. Please join us over on the blog. That's godiaperfree.com/228. Thanks for tuning in today, everyone, and we hope to see you back soon.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

Watch the Video Version If you want to watch the recording of today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Resource RecommendationGo Diaper Free: my popular EC book that simplifies EC, beginning to end

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Do you have experience with colic? Did EC help alleviate the symptoms? What do you think about this theory?I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!xx Andrea

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Blowouts are just part of life with a baby… or are they?? What if you could get through the baby years, all the way to potty independence, without ever encountering this explosive event? In today's episode, I explain how that’s totally possible, even with part-time EC!

You Will Hear:* What a diaper blowout is and when to expect them * What causes a diaper blowout * Common diaper back-ups and their leak-prevention features * How EC helps to prevent diaper blowouts * Tips for catching poops and why you should start today

Links and other resources mentioned today:* Blog post - Baby poops in car seat or high chair * Go Diaper Free Book * Green Mountain Diapers Cloth-eez® Wrap * Thirties® Duo Wrap - Hook and Loop * TinyUps cloth pull-up covers * Tiny Undies Store * YouTube Easy Catches series * Poop - Podcast #30 * Blog post - Why are we trained to watch our babies poop? * Mini Potty * Tiny Potty Training Book * Top Hat Potty * Go Diaper Free Store

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript Download: More About Poop: Blowouts.pdf

Read the full written transcript: More About Poop: BlowoutsExpandEPISODE 227: More About Poop: Blowouts

Welcome back to the podcast. Thanks so much for joining me today. This is episode 227, More About Poop: Blowouts. You can find the show notes over at godiaperfree.com/227. Leave a comment, ask us any questions you might have and just let us know how we're doing. We love interacting with you over there on the blog, so head on over when you're finished listening to the episode, and let us know what you think and if you have any other suggestions for topics we can cover.

We got a suggestion from social media to talk about blowouts. This particular listener didn't really like the idea that this was supposed to be just a normal part of baby life that they were going to have to accept, and wanted to know how EC can maybe prevent blowouts. I will talk about that in just a minute, but I first want to explain what we're talking about here. Obviously this episode is about poop. If you're a little sensitive to that, take it into consideration. I'll do my best not to be too graphic. But also if you're visual, I'm going to be holding up a few examples of diaper back-ups, so you can head on over to our YouTube channel, or at the bottom of the blog post you'll find the YouTube version of the recording for today's episode.

What is a blowout? It's exactly what it sounds like. It is when the poop escapes the diaper. I call it a diaper breach. And when is this going to happen? Really, it can happen anytime you have your baby in a diaper back-up. It is most common when they're newborns or infants because not only are they typically exclusively breast-, formula-fed, or both, they are in a lot of positions where their diaper could be compressed. And no matter how good your back-up is, compressed material does not absorb well, and if it's not absorbing, it doesn't have anywhere else to go but out.

Newborns are usually lying down, being held, in a car seat, in a carrier, in a sling, and so these are all occasions where their diaper back-up could be compressed either completely or in part. With breast milk poops, those are kind of the consistency of mustard typically, and formula poops are like runny peanut butter. They are going to escape the diaper if it's compressed. Although sometimes it's just a matter of positioning. My oldest was only a couple weeks old the first time he had a blowout and it was right on my lap because I just put him in a new diaper, sat him on my lap facing away from me, and I was new to the whole diaper fastening procedure. Apparently I didn't do a great job or it just shifted enough that the poop went straight out the leg hole. I don't even think it hit the diaper. So if you've got a fast pooper, or they're pooping a large quantity, that can also cause a blowout.

If your baby is a little bit older and is on solids, you can still have blowouts when you're dealing with illness. If there's diarrhea, some gastrointestinal upset, if they've been storing it up for a while and they've got a really large poop, you can still run into a blowout.

We do have a blog post that I will link here on when babies poop in the car seat or the highchair and how to try to avoid that with an EC baby. This is really common if you've been doing EC with your baby and they're used to sitting on a potty, sitting in a really contoured and secure car seat or highchair can feel similar to the potty. They're relaxed. That's a great opportunity for them to poop. So if you're having issues with your baby pooping every time they're in the car seat or every time they're in the highchair, you can head on over to that post.

In general, how can you try to avoid a blowout with conventional diaper? Can you? In my personal opinion, no. There's no surefire way to totally avoid a blowout. There are a few things to consider when you're looking at diaper back-ups. Obviously, if you're practicing EC, you want to choose the back-up that keeps your baby dry the most and helps them to signal the most strongly. For those of you who own Go Diaper Free, you can go to “How to Diaper with EC.” That's a section in the book that covers all the different types of EC back-ups and what they're good for, and how to use them, and the pros and cons of all of that.

I am going to hold up here a disposable diaper, and they have typically a gathered material at the back and around the leg holes, and these are called gussets. These help with fit, but they also help to contain the mess. They usually have a double gusset. There's an inner one to try to hold the contents and an outer one that's for fit mostly, but also to help contain the contents as a secondary barrier if it gets past the first one.

If you are cloth diapering, you might choose a cover that has double gussets around the leg holes. What I have holding up right now is a Green Mountain Diapers Cloth-eez wrap. I've been using these for ages. This one actually might be from 2018. This is the Cloth-eez wrap, and it has those two gussets at the leg hole for the same reason, to help with fit and to help contain that mess. I like this one too because you can easily turn it into the quick EC diaper that's described in the Go Diaper Free book with a pre-fold just down the middle there using the flap at the back and the front to hold it in, stick it on baby, you're good to go. I believe Thirsties Brand also has a double gusset around the leg hole, and even if you're using a pocket diaper or an all-in-one diaper, they all usually have an elastic seam up at the back to try to avoid the poop going up the back.

If you are working towards diaper freedom or just in general you like to use the TinyUps, these are great. These are our waterproof covers from Tiny Undies and they have a gathered elastic waistband and leg hole, and that really does help to contain the mess.

Again, at the end of the day, if the diaper or the diaper back-up is compressed, it's going to have a harder time containing that mess. So yes, the answer to the question, can EC help prevent blowouts? It absolutely can because every time you catch a poop in the potty, in the top hat, in the sink, that is one less poop in the diaper. So not only is it one less diaper used or one less diaper to clean, it's one fewer chance to have a blowout.

We have readers and members who only practice EC for the poops, and that is a great way to start. If you are wanting to get started with EC, you don't know how to get started, obviously head on over to our website, grab Go Diaper Free. That's your manual for starting. And part-time EC is still EC. We say it all the time, and it counts for poops too. If you are only practicing EC because you want to catch those poops in the potty rather than in a diaper, go for it. That is a great way to practice. And we call poop an easy catch for a reason. It's one of the four easy catches because most of us either can tell when our baby is starting to poop or is pooping. In fact, many of you found us not because you'd ever heard of EC, but because you had this instinct to not sit there and watch your baby poop in the diaper and then change it. You had an instinct to take the diaper off and hold them over the sink, or a potty, or some kind of receptacle, and let them finish pooping there rather than in their diaper. It's less mess to clean, it's less chance of a blowout, and it's just more hygienic. So some of you're just very intuitive in that way and started doing that, and then later found out it's something we call elimination communication. And now you're here and we love that you're here.

Something fun about starting with a newborn, or a young infant is, if you start catching poops early on, they still really have that strong instinct to avoid soiling themselves, and they will often signal very loudly when they have to poop. And again, that's one of the reasons we call it one of the four easy catches. We started easy with my youngest at 10 days old, and before she was two months old she would tell us with no uncertain terms when she had to poop and that she did not want to do it in her diaper. And if you think about that, it makes a lot of sense that the instinct to not poop on yourself is stronger than pee. Poop has a higher chance of illness if you're around it. It's not going to just evaporate like pee would if we were living in the jungle and not wearing very much clothing. So that instinct is still going to be pretty strong and intact with a young baby. So if you're pregnant or you have a newborn infant and you want to start today, poops could be a really great way to start.

Even if your baby's older, of course, every poop you catch is one less poop in the diaper, and that's fantastic. As one of my friends used to say, "A diaper saved is a diaper earned." But you may have also heard horror stories of older toddlers who refuse to poop anywhere but the diaper. And when that's all they've known their whole life, is that warm poop right up against their skin, it can be scary to not have that feeling. It can be scary to poop into this big cavernous void of the big potty. So maybe you're thinking about potty training. You've got a baby who's 16 or 17 months or older and you're worried about starting because you've heard of these horror stories. Well, the sooner you start with catching poop in a potty or in anything, a Mini Potty, seat reducer, whatever you've got. The sooner you start catching that poop outside of the diaper, the less of a chance you have of running up against that issue.

Of course, if you're already having that issue, grab our Tiny Potty Training Book, check out our troubleshooting section. Long story short, don't give them the diaper to poop in. I'll link a couple episodes for help with that as well. But if you are hearing those horror stories and you're really nervous about starting potty training because of that, then poop is a great place to start because the sooner you start catching those poops, the less chance you have of having that resistance and having that issue where your baby, your toddler only wants to poop if you give them the diaper.

That's pretty much it, folks. At the end of the day, the more you catch in a potty, in a Mini Potty or Top Hat and not in the diaper, the more comfortable your baby's going to be. The less chance you have of a mess, the less you have to clean up from either your diapers or wiping your baby, and it's just all around really convenient and clean and sanitary. A lot of people are worried about starting EC because they think it just takes a lot more time. But if you're going to be changing that diaper anyway, you might as well just be wiping like you would yourself and flushing it down the potty instead of trying to clean all that poop off your baby's bottom, or maybe out of their clothes, or even their hair. We've heard stories of diaper blowouts going all the way up the back. If that's something you think you want to avoid, definitely try EC today.

For whatever reason, this is a great way to convince dads too. I don't know what it is, but almost anytime a dad hears that they can avoid blowouts, they are on board with EC. So if you've got a partner or a dad in your life who's on the fence about EC, you can send them this episode and say, "Hey, Nicole from Go Diaper Free says you might not ever have to change a poopy diaper and you might not ever have a blowout if you try EC." And you can probably get them on board. So send them on over to us. We'll help convince them for you. Either way, head on over to the blog, let us know: have you ever dealt with blowouts and did you find a way to prevent them? How did your EC practice help? If your EC practice helped, we want to know. Go on over to godiaperfree.com/227. Share with us in the comments. I'm Nicole Cheever with Go Diaper Free, and we'll see you next time.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

Watch the Video Version If you want to watch the recording of today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Resource RecommendationGo Diaper Free: my popular EC book that simplifies EC, beginning to end

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

How have you dealt with blowouts? Did you find a way to prevent them? How did your EC practice help?I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!xx Andrea

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The post More About Poop: Blowouts appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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This is a re-post of an article originally published by Andrea Olson on December 21, 2015

Potty Pause. A not-so-great word. Let me share what it is and what to do about it....

So you're doing Elimination Communication with your baby and everything was going great for the last few weeks or months. You caught every poo and almost every pee, or the majority thereof. You may not even have studied up on infant potty training...you've just had such great beginner's luck!

But now...oh my. Now. Sheesh. Your baby pees right after you take her off the potty. On the floor. She arches every time you try to put her on the mini potty.

Hello, potty pause. (Or call it a potty training strike. Because it darn near is!)

Before she happily went along with you. You were in harmony. But now...let's just call it the opposite of harmony, and it's gone on for several days.

You are royally frustrated (understatement?). You need help. So here it is.

An Alternative View of the Potty PauseI'm not going to teach you how to address or fix a potty pause in this article. Instead, I'm going to pass on vital information that was handed to me from a long-time DiaperFreeBaby Mentor in Seattle, Kerste Conner.

It's an excerpt from my book, which covers how to simply begin an EC practice with your baby. Here it is:

EC Phases
by Kerste Conner, long time DiaperFreeBaby Mentor in Seattle, WA

I've noticed that there seem to be two times in a child's life with EC when problems arise. And I think that during both of these times, it is frustrating for the adults involved (and also for the child involved, but they can't tell you clearly) and with life being busy, it is easy to decide to put the diapers back on and wait until things improve. However, it would be better to continue doing what you are doing - this time of discord is very important to the process and even though there may be more misses, this is a time of great strides for a child.

When your child begins to walk or talk, they stumble and stutter and make mistakes. You wouldn't see your child struggling to walk and then think - she's not ready to walk yet (cuz she isn't perfect at it yet), so I am going to confine her to a safe environment where she cannot walk and I will keep her there until she is ready to walk. Instead you do what you can to keep her safe while she stumbles and falls and learns to teeter and totter and finally eventually walk. She fails while she is learning and as parents we tolerate these failures because we know it is part of the learning process.

However, when it comes to the EC process and we've been having success, somehow as our child begins to learn that they are a part of the process and they can control both when and where they potty, parents become confused - why is there now failure when before there was so much success? I think what we fail to realize is that our measure of success needs to change at this point.

Children learn how long they can hold the contents of their bladder by holding it so long, they can't hold it any longer.

They are in touch with the elimination process, they know what it feels like when their bladder is full, but what they don't know is - how long can I wait before it is too late? They get involved with other activities and they don't want to stop, even if they have that full bladder feeling. They may be involved in this experimentation process when, based on timing or intuition, an adult decides to potty the child - who protests vehemently. Then as soon as you take the child off the potty, they realize that they have exceeded their potty-holding limit and they pee on the floor. The adult reaction is frustration - why is this happening? But in fact, the learning process is happening. And this is a great time to continue your communication with your child - "Oh, you are peeing. Next time, if you let me know, I can help you put it in the potty." Very low key.

So my theory is that this part of the learning process happens sometime between 7 and 12 months. What we did during this time was try a few different locations (mini potty, then sink with mirror, regular toilet with insert, then outdoors). We were trying to distract her from her bladder holding experiment long enough for her to pee. If she peed, great, if not, we used either diaper back up, or we put her on some sort of impervious surface, or lived dangerously, knowing that we'd be cleaning up a miss in the near future. Sometimes she surprised us and held it much longer than we suspected that she could - and we both learned. Sometimes she peed almost as soon as we let her go back to her chosen activity - and we both learned. The process smoothed back out again for a time, but our success rate was probably never as high as it had been before our daughter learned that she could delay the inevitable, if it suited her.

Then between 12 and 16 months, the misses begin to increase again and for us this was the real key to our daughter graduating. She became very resistant to us ECing based on timing (which we had done from birth with her). Although we had been signing with her and talking with her about elimination throughout our journey, at this stage she was really acting out that she wanted control over this part of her life. It resulted in quite a few misses, but instead of diapering her back up and waiting until later when we thought she was ready, we gave her MORE control, instead of less. We would ask her if she had to potty (when we thought she should have to go, or if we were heading out for a trip) and if she gave us a negative response, we would believe her (even if we were skeptical) - we allowed her the ability to have confidence in knowing her body. Even if, sometimes, it turned out that she was wrong, the amount of time that it took her to realize that this was her thing and we were no longer the ones in control of where and when she pottied...she was completely diaper free within one month, and about two and half months later, she is completely miss free.

I'm not saying that this time table will apply to everyone. My point is just this: When a child who is on the EC journey has a series of misses, instead of considering it a "potty pause" maybe consider it as part of the process and that the child is really expressing that they realize they are part of this process and support that, instead of backing off and diapering them up and waiting - sending them mixed signals that they aren't trusted to learn this skill because it is simply too messy.

Thanks for the amazing contribution, Kerste!

So what do you think about this concept? Does it resonate? Do you have other thoughts or experiences of how to end a potty pause or full-on potty strike?

Hugs,

Andrea

Watch the Video Version (new!) If you want to watch the recording of today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Resource RecommendationPotty Pause Resolution Minicourse: a MiniCourse that will help you understand what's happening when baby resists, learn the steps through it, and prevent another from happening (or being quite so dreadful)...

Go Diaper Free: my popular EC book that simplifies EC, beginning to end

The Tiny Potty Training Book: my book for anyone with a kiddo 18-30+ months who wants a quick, effective, sensible solution to potty training without force, rewards, sticker charts, or M&Ms.

“Movers + Shakers” Mobile Babies EC Program: Skillfully navigate EC and know what to do next with your mobile baby (5-11 months)

“Passing the Baton” Young Toddlers EC Program: Take logical steps toward potty independence with your young toddler (12-17 months)

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

The post What is a “Potty Pause”? appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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Have you ever seen (or heard) parents making sounds during EC that cue their baby to go potty? Ever wondered how in the world they do that??? It’s called sound association, and I talk all about how to accomplish it in today’s episode.

You Will Hear:* Why sound association is and why it works * How to build it with infants and young toddlers * What you can do to build sound association even when your baby is mostly in a diaper

Links and other resources mentioned today:* Go Diaper Free Book * Private EC Support Group on Facebook * Private Potty Training Support Group on Facebook * Sound association - Podcast #38 * Top Hat Potty * Waterproof Pad * Tiny Undies Store * The Log app for iOS and Android * Getting a young toddler to signal - Podcast #224 * Tiny Potty Training Book * Go Diaper Free Store

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript Download: Building Sound Association.pdf

Read the full written transcript: Building Sound AssociationExpandEPISODE 225: Building Sound Association

Welcome back. This is episode 225 Building Sound Association. You can find all of the show notes over at godiaperfree.com/225. Leave us a comment over there, ask us any questions you have and everything I talk about in the show is always conveniently linked over there on the blog. Today we have a question from Vip.
Vip:Hi Andrea, my name is Vip. I'm from Toronto and I've just got one little one, an eight-week-old, and my specific question is with regards to beginning that communication with the sounds for pee and poop with a little one that is in a diaper. I feel I'm not able to catch that in time, so I really appreciate your help. Thank you so much.

Nicole:
Thank you Vip, and congratulations on your new baby. It might feel like a long time, but eight weeks is so new. Congratulations! Everything you would ever need to know about starting with a newborn is going to be in the Go Diaper Free book. Our podcast here is really helpful, we've got social media, we have the blog, but if you really want everything all in one place, go to the book. It is a digital copy so you get lifetime updates. There is a paperback option that you can upgrade to if you really feel like you need to hold something in your hands, or you like to highlight, but either way, you get access to our free online community as well. It's currently housed on Mighty Networks and we have coaches over there who can answer questions. We have other parents who can give insights and support, so the book really is the best way to get all of this information all in one place.

I'll also link Episode 38, which explains a little bit about why we do sound dissociations in EC. I'm not going to really go into that in this episode, but I will just mention that other animals signal their young when it's okay to pee and poop because you don't want your babies, as an animal, pooping in the bed or in the den or wherever you may be. So other animals have some way to signal their babies that it is okay to poo or pee. The other thing I want to mention is, for those of you who maybe have had dogs before and are familiar with clicker training, this is a little bit like clicker training. I was a dog trainer in a past life and when I first heard about EC, it was actually when I was a dog trainer. My friend explained it to me and said, "while my baby's peeing, I make the sound pss pss and she learns that that means it's pee pee time." I said, "oh, that makes tons of sense. It's exactly the way you train really any basic obedience with a clicker!” So if you have familiarity with that, that may help you to understand a little bit why this works.

You said you don't feel like you can catch it because your baby's in a diaper, and I want to encourage you that you don't have to catch all of them to build sound association. It's not about making the sound every single time they go potty, but eventually, over time when you do it little by little, they will start to connect that. And of course the more you do it, most likely the quicker they will catch onto it, but don't feel like you have to catch every single pee and poop in order to do the sound associations. That's really unrealistic. Even when we do full-time EC, we're really only catching about half of the poos and pees, so do not put that pressure on yourself, especially with an eight-week-old.

You want to decide what sounds you're going to use. Most of us use something that's similar to the sound of water for pee, something like “psh” or “pss.” And then for poop, often we will use a kind of grunting sound like “mmm mmm.” If you're holding your baby in the classic EC hold over a sink or toilet, you have their back against your chest or the top of your abdomen, and they can actually feel your body contracting when you make that grunting sound. They can feel your abdomen contracting so it encourages them to do that as well. It teaches them both by sound and feel that it's time to go potty, so that's a fun and helpful association for them to make as well.

I would start with the easy catches. It is possible to signal your baby in a diaper when your baby is pooping. Most newborns are very loud poopers and, at the very least, if they're not a loud pooper, they often squirm or make a face. It's usually pretty easy to tell when a newborn's pooping, so when they start pooping, you can make the grunting sound and they will start to associate that sound. Then when you do take them for a pottytunity, you can hold them over the receptacle and make that grunt and it lets them know it's okay to poop, especially if your newborn is breastfed. They often are pooping all the time, pretty much at every pottytunity. Every time you offer they're going to be pooping, so building that poop sound association can be really helpful. I've also found with my babies that pee often comes after the poop. The poop comes in spurts or stages, and then when they're all done, they start peeing, so then you have the opportunity to make that pee sound association when they're doing it.

Again, we want to make the sound when it's happening. You've got a tiny little squishy newborn, they're not going to understand if you make these sounds when they're not pooping or peeing. Then it's just going to be meaningless to them because they can't catch any pattern of when it's happening, so we want to make these sounds while it's happening. If you have a Top Hat Potty or something that you can pull out very quickly when they are pooping, because it comes in stages, once you know the pooping is happening, you can start to grunt. Or you can even say, “wait,” even at eight weeks old, you can say, “wait.” Take the diaper off, sit them on the Top Hat Potty. With my youngest I never even used the Top Hat Potty because the chair I nursed in was right by the bathroom. So I would just say “wait” when she started pooping, go into the bathroom, take the diaper off, and hold her over the sink to catch the rest of it.

Because it comes out in spurts, you often have the opportunity, even if you don't catch the whole thing, to at least catch a little bit, and every little bit helps you build that association. When they are newborns you can alternate the pooping and the pee sound. You can go “pss mmm mmm pss” because they do often alternate those things, especially because the poop comes out in spurts. I would also really encourage you to do some observation with your baby, whether it is holding them in your lap with some kind of waterproof pad over. I'll link the one we have at Tiny Undies, it's a very nice soft waterproof pad. You can do tummy time or floor time with the waterproof pad and use The Log app to not only see if there's a pattern – like if they have a certain amount of time that they'll wait before pooping or peeing after feeding or after waking up – or with their natural timing, if there's an interval, like they pee every 15 minutes, which is not uncommon for a baby that young.

My mom made a comment one time that she thinks that EC is really easy with a newborn because they're just peeing all the time, and that's true. They are peeing a lot, which is one of the reasons that we don't try to catch everything. And it's also really helpful because there are lots of opportunities.

Even if you're just picking one of these opportunities a day, it's going to help you with the sound associations. I'm a big proponent of part-time EC. If you even just catch one pee or poop a day, you're practicing EC and you're still getting all of the benefits of EC. You're still introducing the potty to your baby at an early age. You are still setting them up for success, for not being afraid of the potty, understanding where it's supposed to go. You're still saving diapers, everything, even if you're just doing one catch a day.

The nice thing too about an eight-month-old is the observation is really easy because they're not mobile yet. They're not going anywhere so that waterproof pad on the ground or in your lap can be really helpful. As your baby gets older, you will transition to words, phrases, maybe sign language signals, and last week's Episode 224 talked all about how you can get a toddler to signal. If you're listening to this and you have an older baby, that's going to be one of the episodes to listen to. You can also look at The Tiny Potty Training Book if your baby is 18 months or older. Or even if they're really close to that, I would say as early as 15 or 16 months, you can take a look at the Tiny Potty Training book and instead of using sound, you are going to be teaching your child what to say to you when they need to go potty.

That's what I've got for you here today. Vip, thank you so much for the question. For those of you listening, how did you build sound associations with your baby? If you're just starting out, which of these tips are you going to try? Head over to godiaperfree.com/225. Leave us a comment, ask us any of your questions. We've got coaches answering on there and we're happy to help. We will see you over on the blog.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

Watch the Video Version If you want to watch the recording of today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Resource RecommendationGo Diaper Free: my popular EC book that simplifies EC, beginning to end

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

How did you build sound associations with your baby? If you’re just starting out, which of these tips will you try?I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

The post Building Sound Association appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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You’ve heard of young toddlers signaling that they have to go potty, but when it comes to your kiddo, there isn’t a signal in sight! Is there anything you can do to help your LO give you a heads up? Or are you stuck with the silent treatment? Find out in today’s episode, as we discuss what you can do to encourage your toddler to signal for the potty.

You Will Hear:* What signals we recommend you teach your child * Strategies for encouraging your kiddo to signal * How to teach different signals for the bathroom and going potty, and why this is important * When to move from sound cues to teaching signals and why * Tips for setting realistic expectations around signaling * How changing your baby’s back-up can influence signaling

Links and other resources mentioned today:* Example of ASL sign for “potty” * Teaching baby to signal - Podcast #47 * Blog post - Signaling: My baby doesn’t signal * The Ultimate Guide to EC Back-ups - Podcast #53 * Tiny Undies small baby underwear * Tiny Trainers * “Passing the Baton” Young Toddlers EC Program * Wrapping Up EC MiniCourse * Go Diaper Free Book * Tiny Potty Training Book * Go Diaper Free Store * Tiny Undies Store

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript Download: Getting a young toddler to signal.pdf

Read the full written transcript: Getting a young toddler to signalExpandEPISODE 224: Getting a young toddler to signal

Welcome back to the podcast. This is episode 224, getting a young toddler to signal. You can find the show notes, as always, over at godiaperfree.com/224. Please leave us a comment, ask us any questions you have, and find the links to everything I'm going to talk about in today's episode. We have two questions and the first one is from Haley.

Haley:Hello, my name is Haley. I am from Indiana, Central Indiana. My baby is 15 months and my question is: she doesn't communicate very much regarding diapers and needing to go potty, so how do I work on cuing and bettering the communication between her and I?
Nicole:
Thanks for the call, Haley. It is very common for signals to disappear or not exist. At 15 months, we're going to start teaching her the signals we want her to use and as we do this with repetition and time, she will most likely start to pick them up. Now I say most likely because it's very, very important for us to not have high expectations for our children to signal. In fact, Andrea recommends having no expectation. Never expect them to respond, or to signal, or to tell us ahead of time if they need to potty. One of the big reasons for this is when we have expectations on our children, we start to place these timelines that often are not really based on much except for our own hopes. We start to become potty-centered, which can really put a lot of inadvertent pressure on ourselves and our children. Really dropping those expectations to the absolute floor is going to be the least stressful situation for you.

Now, we are going to teach signals really like you're going to teach anything else to your child. Any other kind of language or response or interaction is done through repetition and it's going to often feel like you've been doing it for months with no response, and then all of a sudden, one day they might come up with a signal.

My baby's currently 15-and-a-half months and that has happened with quite a few things lately. I was signing potty to her since she was about six months and she only picked that up in about the last month. The sign for potty, for those of you listening, is the American Sign Language “T. You make a fist, but you put your thumb between your first and middle finger so it sticks out and then you shake it. You can see me if you're watching the video, but if you're listening on the podcast, you can look up that sign language “T” and I'll see if I can find a good graphic to link in the show notes. But we like to use that as our potty sign.

She doesn't do it exactly that way. A lot of times, they come up with their own way to copy that, but I'm teaching that to her just like you would teach them to identify anything. If you are holding a ball and you're saying, “ball, ball.” You give it to them and you say “ball,” eventually they're going to learn the word ball. Teaching them with signaling for the potty is really along the same lines.

It's a great idea to go off of natural timing and transition time. So you're going to take your baby to the potty probably with some of the easy catches, like the wake-up pee or poop. Or you're going to use the natural timing you've established, either by doing observation or just as you've been getting a sense of your baby, using the transition times, and just repeating, being consistent, reinforcing those signals you'd eventually like to use. I mentioned one shaking the “T,” potty. You can also say “potty.” Most of us eventually want our child to tell us verbally that they have to go potty.

Some people like to do two different signals for going to the bathroom and then peeing. Some have found that if you use the same thing, like you use that shaking “T” both when you need to move to the bathroom and when you want them to pee in the potty, they can take it really literally and they can just stand there and pee. If you're finding that, separate the two. For us, we just point and then shake the “T,” like the potty's over there and then we shake the “T.” And then as she's peeing, I will say “pee pee.” I'll say “potty” while I'm doing the sign,and then as she's actually peeing or pooping in the potty, at the point when she's actually releasing her pee, I will say “pee pee.” Or if she's pooping, I will say “poop.”

We want to be careful not to overdo it. If we are just saying the words all the time or using the signs all the time, then they don't really have anything to associate it with. That's why it's really important, if you think it's potty time, whether it's an easy catch, the natural timing, transition timing, you can say, "Mama, pee pee," or "Mama, potty," or whatever it is you want them to say when they need to go to the potty. Then once you put them on the potty or they mount the potty, wait for them to actually go. If we're just throwing these words out all over the place, it doesn't mean anything to them. That's why when we're teaching them words for anything else, we hold it up or we point to it when we say the word, because we need them to have something to connect it to.

Again, this won't happen overnight, and then at some point, it just kind of will. At some point, they'll go through a shift or a leap and suddenly, they're saying “pee pee” and they might just be saying it all the time. There's a phase as well where you'll want to help them when they start saying the word or they start making the sign, help them keep that only associated with what it belongs with. If your baby has started saying “pee pee”... right now, when my 15-month-old says “pee pee,” I take her to the bathroom, and so she's learning that if she says “pee pee” while she's walking around the house, we're going to go to the potty. If she doesn't want to go to the potty, then she shouldn't be saying “pee pee.” There's going to be a little bit of a trial and error there as well.

Just like when they get to that toddler phase, sometimes they say “no” when they mean yes. Sometimes they say “pee pee” when they don't have to go, so it's just our job to stay consistent with it and show them that this is what that word or that sign is associated with. I'm going to link Episode 47. That is a little more in depth on teaching your baby to signal and how to do it, and then there's also a blog post on if your baby doesn't signal. Thanks so much for that question, Haley and now we've got one from Crystal.

Crystal:Hi, good morning. My name is Crystal. I live in Mount Olive, North Carolina and my daughter is 16 months old. My question is how do I get her to signal me when she has to pee? She tells me by sign every time when she needs to go number two, but so far, it doesn't even seem to be that she is aware that she is peeing. Thank you so much for your help.
Nicole:
Thanks so much, Crystal. I have a couple suggestions for you, some of them being what I just discussed for Haley, because that's very similar. Also, if you're finding that she doesn't seem to mind that she's wet, there are a few different options.

Number one, if your baby's back-up isn't working, if they don't seem to mind or they've gotten used to peeing in whatever back-up you're using, change the back-up. Whatever you're using right now doesn't seem to be working. If you're using a diaper still, it's time to change to undies. You can change to trainers, but they can still feel like a diaper, so I would, at this age, just go straight to undies. We've got them at Tiny Undies and they are definitely small, so make sure you check the size chart because they're nice and form fitting. If you're already using undies, try Commando. We want to go through the progression of back-ups until we find the one where she does mind being wet, or at least it encourages her to stay dry or encourages her to tell you when she needs to go.

It could also be if she's telling you for poop but not for pee, we could be running into the issue I just mentioned. If you're saying “pee pee” for it's time to go potty, she could be taking that literally and just peeing. Try to notice, either by keeping her naked or in just cotton undies where you can see them getting wet very easily, try to notice if maybe that's happening. But it might just be that she doesn't notice she's peeing, so that would require some naked teaching. Naked teaching in an area where it's easy to clean up the pee or you've got some kind of protection on your floors can be really helpful. It actually lets them see when they're peeing, and for some kids, they really need that visual. They really need to see, “when I have this sensation in my body, something comes out,” and that helps them to signal better and to have that click for them.

If you're using a sound for pee pee, like psh psh or pss, the sound of running water, stop. She's too old for that. I was just listening to something that Andrea has out recently, using those baby sounds at this age infantilizes them and they want to be growing up. They want to have that independence and show that they can do things for themselves. A way to do that is by using actual words or the signs rather than the sounds.

There's also the “Passing the Baton” Young Toddlers EC Program that I’ll link for both of you because that's a really nice, in-depth way of helping your child bridge the gap from you really being in charge of potty time to them being in charge of it. There's also a Wrapping Up EC MiniCourse. Both of these are going to go in depth through the Building Blocks of Potty Independence, which is in both the Go Diaper Free book and The Tiny Potty Training Book. The Building Blocks of Potty Independence are all of the pieces your child needs in order to successfully be potty independent. One of those aspects is prompting. Whether it's them telling you that they need to go, or you suggesting it's potty time and there's a positive response to it, but that's one of the building blocks that your child's going to need to be potty independent, so I will link all of that in the show notes.

Remember, signals come and go. When they're very busy with a leap or a shift and developing, they're not really prioritizing telling you they need to go potty, especially if they're wearing some kind of back-up that they really don't mind going in. That's where changing the back-up, giving them more independence, these kind of things can really help them.

That's everything I have for both of you today. Thanks for listening. For everyone who wants to join us over on the blog, please let us know: how did you get your baby signaling? If your baby doesn't signal right now, which one of these suggestions are you going to try? Head over to godiaperfree.com/224 for that comment section where you can leave us a comment, ask us a question, check out what other listeners have to say, and we will see you over there on the blog.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

Watch the Video Version If you want to watch the recording of today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Resource RecommendationGo Diaper Free: my popular EC book that simplifies EC, beginning to end

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How did you get your baby signaling? If your baby doesn’t signal yet, which of these suggestions are you going to try?I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!xx Andrea

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Your LO is finally potty trained! Or so you thought…. Today Nicole answers questions from two mamas who have run into challenges after their kiddos completed potty training.

You Will Hear:* How to get to the root of sudden misses after completion * Strategies for giving your toddler the independence they are seeking * Tips for getting back on track * What other relatives and caregivers can do to support your efforts * How to tell if it might be time to seek outside/professional help

Links and other resources mentioned today:* Mini Potty * Tiny Undies small baby underwear * Go Diaper Free Book * Tiny Potty Training Book * “Help! We have complete resistance!” (part 2) - Podcast #212 * Find a Local Coach or EC Group * Go Diaper Free Store * Tiny Undies Store

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript Download: How do I deal with setbacks after completion.pdf

Read the full written transcript: How do I deal with setbacks after completion?ExpandEPISODE 223: How do I deal with setbacks after completion?

Hello, everyone. This is episode 223, how do I deal with setbacks after completion? You can find the show notes over at godiaperfree.com/223, and of course, leave us a comment or ask us a question over there. And everything I talk about in today's show will be linked over there on the show notes. We have two questions, and the first is from Jessica.
Jessica:My baby has been having accidents all of the sudden. He is 25 months old. He was doing great. He would tell me when he needed to go. If I asked him, he would tell me “yes.” But now, he is telling me “no” all the time. He is fighting me to go to the bathroom. He's peeing on the floor, and he had a poop accident for the first time in I don't even know how long. The other day, yesterday. So I'm not sure if he's just got something medically wrong, or if there’s something else going on. Is it normal for two-year-olds to go through a defiant potty phase? Thanks.

Nicole:
Thanks for the call, Jessica. I want to first send you love and support because I can hear the frustration in your voice, and this is definitely a very frustrating situation. And I want to reassure you that, yes, it is absolutely normal. Toddlers can go through a defiant phase with anything, and pottying is no different, unfortunately. I know it can be really frustrating. I know it can be very worrying. It sounds like you're concerned about a medical issue and, absolutely, it's important to rule that out if there are any signs that there might be some kind of medical issue going on. But rest assured that going through a defiant phase is absolutely a hundred percent normal.

You said that he was telling you all the time, and anytime you asked him, he would say, “yes.” And now he's saying, "No, no, no, no, no." That is very common of toddlers. It's one of the major reasons Andrea, myself, most of the coaches, really encourage parents to start the toilet familiarity process well before 18 months. The age range varies, but it's usually somewhere around 18 months that children start to hit this independent phase. The “no” starts. They don't want you to be in charge of anything, they want to be in charge themselves. So first, I'm going to encourage you to stop asking. No more, "Do you need to potty?" If he has been going potty, which he has, this is a behavioral issue, not a potty training issue. Once they've shown you that they can successfully, from start to finish, connect all of the dots of the pottying process, this is not an issue in a missing skill or a gap in knowledge. This is behavioral.

It's not something you caused necessarily, but it's just a fact of life. Sometimes, our kids hit a point where they're going to start resisting things and, instead of worrying about what's going wrong with the potty training process, it can be really helpful to come at it more from the behavior process. I want to qualify this with: I am not a behavior expert. I am a certified potty training coach. There is a lot of behavior that goes into that. If you think you're having some major behavior problems, please seek out the assistance of a qualified behavioral professional, and they will be able to help you. But this defiant phase is very commonplace. There's a lot of information out there on how to deal with these. If you're having other defiant struggles like won't sit at the table, doesn't want to put their shoes on, then it can be very common for that to bleed into the potty training process as well. So like I mentioned, no more asking. We're not going to ask him if he has to go.

And if it's all of a sudden, if it really feels like it wasn't an ease in… I know all of my toddlers have started to, somewhat slowly, I'm talking about over the course of a couple of weeks, all of a sudden that blossoming toddler is coming out. It's happening right now with my 15 month old. If she doesn't like something, she's taken to throwing herself on the floor and crying. And so, I know, okay, it's coming. All this resistance is going to be here pretty soon if it's not already.

But if it feels like it was overnight, take a look at the bigger picture. Try to figure out if there's something big that's happened. And it might not feel big to you, and/or it might feel like you had really prepared your toddler well for whatever the transition was. Whether you moved or a friend moved out of town, someone they were used to seeing all the time that's now all of a sudden absent. You got a pet, you lost a pet, there's a new baby, you moved all the furniture around. Kids have varying levels of sensitivity. So like I said, it can be something that really seems insignificant to you, but it might be major to them. So try to zoom out and see if there's something that's gone on that may have triggered this. And if there is, it's your job as the parent to reassure them that there are other things in their life that are still the same, including where we put our poop and pee. This may require going back to the basics a little bit, maybe a half a day or a day of intensive teaching, to sort of remind him or retrain him of what the process should be.

But if you've been doing this for a long time, since before he was in this independent toddler phase, if you've been EC-ing your baby, and now you're in more of that potty training 18 month plus zone, then you're going to want to go about this intensive teaching a little bit differently than you did before. With EC, we're looking for all these cues and then we might say to our child, "It's time to potty," or "I see you doing you peepee dance, let's go pee." If being verbal with your child is causing a lot of resistance, close it down. Shut the mouth. What we want to do is be more physical. Toddlers are physical. And what I mean by this is, while you're doing your teaching, when you notice one of the signs that he has to pee or has to poop, either way it sounds like right now. When you notice a potty dance, if it's within the right range for his natural timing, if it's a transition time where you're going to want him to go potty, rather than asking him, "Do you need to pee?", state something very short like, "Time to go peepee," or "Let's put your pee in the potty," or don't say anything. Just start to guide them to the potty. Or you can pick up a toy and say, "Bear needs to go peepee." Put the bear on the potty, saying nothing. "Thank you, bear." Take the bear off the potty. "Your turn." So keeping it very, very brief.

Over-talking, number one, shows that you're uncertain and so our kids aren't going to believe us. They won't buy it if we are not sure ourselves. And then on top of it, it doesn't allow them that independence. So find as much as you can to pass over to him, to put the ball in his court. Let him walk to the potty. Let him flush the potty. Whatever you can do, and rather than asking, try to just state. "Now we're going to put the pee in the potty. Now we're going to put the paper in the potty. Now we're going to flush it." But going back to basics, if there is, for some reason a knowledge or skill gap in there, something missing to help him click, then that will identify it. You will find, "Okay, he can't get on the potty himself. So that's why he's frustrated right now because he can't get on the potty by himself. I have to lift him and put him there." And even that one little change can help everything fall back into place.

So finding a way that he can either get on the potty if he's not able to, whether it's the Mini Potty that he can just sit right down on, whether it's a toilet seat reducer with a ladder that he can climb up. If he's having trouble with clothing manipulation, sometimes kids poop because they can't get their clothes off themselves and they want to. So maybe Tiny Undies in a size up so that they're loose and he can easily push them down. Especially the Bear Learn Undies that have the little orange tabs on the side so he can see where to grab, the bear is upside down so it's facing him, so that's a little fun as well. Or just commando, no undies with loose elastic top pants, something he can get up and down himself. But doing this little intensive training will help you identify those places where he cannot get this done on his own and that's why he's resisting it. Two years old, the most common reason they're resisting is because they want that independence.

The Building Blocks of Potty Independence are going to be in both the Go Diaper Free book and The Tiny Potty Training book. You can search on the digital version, you can just do CtrlF and you can find... Just put “building” or “blocks” and you'll find The Building Blocks of Potty Independence in both of those books.

In general, when there's a power struggle, disengage. Do not participate in the power struggle with your toddler. But you want to do that in a way where you're not giving up. So, "Put your pee in the potty," and then turn your back away with both of you closed in the bathroom so that you are giving him privacy, but you're not letting him get out and pee on your floor. But giving him the instruction without asking him, because he will say no at this point, and not engaging in the power struggle, those are going to be keys, as well as handing him over the keys, finding those ways that he can be independent.

Podcast 212 is an episode about resistance in general. And I believe, in that episode, both the questions came from parents that have 18 month olds. So we're talking about all of this in that episode as well, all of the different ways that you can help, all of the ways that you can help resolve resistance with a toddler. Because toddlers fundamentally are a lot different than babies. And that's why we have EC versus potty training, two different books. It's a totally different ballgame. I've done both and I can attest to that.

Thank you so much for your question, Jessica. I hope that helps, and we have one more here from Tracy.

Tracy:This is Tracy from Texas. I have a two-and-a-half-year-old who was completely potty independent at 18 months, and she was for three weeks. And then I started noticing, at home, during the day, that there will be a couple of times, periodically, that she will have some wetness in her panties. Well that continued to regress into one or two every day, into more and more at home. And then it began happening at grandpa's or grandma's house, any place that she felt comfortable. And then it started happening when we were out shopping too. And then, it became an issue where occasionally we would have puddles on the floor, which we've never had puddles on the floor even before she became potty independent.
And then now, she will even crawl on people's laps and pee a little bit. Not a full pee, but enough that whoever’s holding her will have a wet spot. Grandparents, and even my husband, have asked if we need to put her back in diapers. I have done the potty training experience three times with no change in behavior. I'm afraid this has become a habit. I don't know how to break it, especially because now we have zero two-year-old stubbornness to deal with. Sometimes she gets upset when she realizes that she's wet. Other times, she denies that she's wet. I don't know what to do. Please help me help my daughter.

Nicole:
Thank you for the call, Tracy. I also want to send you love and support because this is a very frustrating situation, and I'm sorry that you're going through it.

You mentioned that it sounds like it's become a habit. Again, I think we're dealing with something that's behavioral. As you said, she was potty independent before, so that's one of the major ways we can tell that this is not necessarily a gap in understanding or knowledge of the potty process.

There might be a gap in the independence side of things, which we can resolve with an intensive teaching day. Again, finding those ways that you can hand over the baton, the ways you can help her to be completely independent. But it did sound like you were saying she was potty independent, which to me means she can complete pretty much the whole potty process without your help. Most kids can't quite wipe that well until they're maybe about two-and-a-half or three, so maybe you're still helping with that. But if she was independent completely, clothing manipulation, mounting the potty, taking herself or telling you, then this is absolutely a behavioral issue.

Andrea does collaborate with me a little bit on these podcasts, and something she mentioned was exploring whether or not there might be some sensory issues. It may be time for some sort of behavioral intervention. And again, asking, has there been any big life change? Has there been something in your child's life that you didn't really realize was significant to them? And just like us adults, it could have happened six months ago and she still may be processing it. Processing big life changes is absolutely not linear for anybody. So just because it may not have happened very recently doesn't mean she's not still having some kind of feelings about it. So if there have been any major life changes within the last couple of months, I would look at that.

And something I forgot to mention for Jessica's call, but I want to mention here because it applies here as well, is: as parents, we really want to check in with our own emotions and our own reactions. Because we can really make things harder for ourselves and everybody when we are too stressed out about a situation. Obviously, when you think your child's been potty trained and all of a sudden they're having setbacks, again, it can be worrying. It can be stressful. It's really frustrating. And it can be very hard to not exhibit those emotions while you're going through it.

However, we need to remember that our children are really busy building their brains at this point. Between 18 and 24 months, they're building long-term memory. Things can really fall out of order. It doesn't necessarily stop at two years. It can absolutely extend. And while they're busy doing this, sometimes things can change and it's really easy for us as parents to have alarm bells go off. "Oh no, everything was fine. Everything was great. It was going this way.” And then suddenly everything changes, and we tend to catastrophize that. We tend to go, "Oh no, all of our training, everything we worked for, it's completely for nothing." And it's just not true. It is absolutely normal for our kids to have these ups and downs, and especially, if there's something going on within the family life that's a little bit hard for them to deal with, or a new challenge, or just different.

And when we start to catastrophize like this, it can really affect the way we respond to our children when they're having these misses. So check in with yourself. When she has wet panties, what do you say? What do you do? Even though she's been completed, we should still be using the same methods and the same philosophy we did while she was training. Either saying nothing and helping them clean up, or just taking note, "Your panties are wet. Let's get you dry ones." Or, "Your panties are wet. It's time to put your pee in the potty. Next time, tell Mama you need help before your panties are wet." Or, "Let's try to keep your panties dry."

I really love the Tiny Undies Learn, with the bear on them, because you can say, "Let's make sure we keep Bear dry." Or you can get a special pair of undies with their favorite character on it, or a pack of them that you can say, "Let's make sure we keep Elmo dry. Let's make sure we keep the princess dry. And Mama will help you with that. Tell me when you need to pee and I will help you." And then of course, sizing up, or getting a ladder, whatever you can do to really encourage their independence. But the way we respond is going to be integral to the success of all of this.

We don't want to have this mindset of, "Oh, they're done. We should never have an issue ever again." They're babies. Even when they're three and four, they're still little babies. And they're human. They might have times where it's just a little bit harder for them, or they're going through some big shift and it's just not really a priority. I know with my oldest, we started potty training with him when he was two years and four months, and for the next couple of months, we had to be really careful about when he was super into playing with something, because his priority was whatever he was fixated working on, not using the potty. So we had the potty in the play space for a long time because that was just easier for us. So giving our children that grace, allowing them these missteps, is really important. And then checking in with how we are processing it or how we are responding to that.

That brings me to the issue with the grandparents. I worry that she's probably heard comments about this and about whether or not she needs to be back in diapers. Our children internalize everything we say about them, so please be mindful not to have these discussions, and encourage the grandparents not to make these comments, when your child is in earshot. Because if she's hearing all the adults around her not be confident about her being able to keep her undies dry, then she's not going to believe she can keep her undies dry. It is very, very important to be careful what we say about our children around our children.

It can be kind of an old school mentality to report to parents, disapprovingly, what happened. If you had your daughter staying with the grandparents for a period of time, and you come back and they say, "Oh, she did X, Y, Z while she was here," and it kind of feels like a reprimand, it's a way to kind of shame children into...

It can be kind of an old school technique, I've found, to report back to parents what a child had done disapprovingly in the presence of the child. Like, "Susie did X, Y, Z while she was here with us, and that wasn't really good, was it Susie?" And this is a kind of an old way to shame children into better behavior, but I think we can all really agree at this point that that never works. So if the grandparents are using this technique, if their solution is to speak about it with her present there because they think somehow it's going to encourage her to stop doing it, I would really encourage you to dissuade them from that because shame and the potty do not mix. In my opinion, shame and any kind of behavior issue do not mix, but especially with the potty, shaming them only continues issues. So I would really, really encourage you to find a different way to deal with it when the grandparents are around. And just like with your reaction, if she's sitting on someone's lap and they get a wet spot and they have this big reaction to it, that can exacerbate the problem. That can actually prolong it in the long run because there's this big reaction.

As far as her being upset sometimes, that may genuinely be because she's upset, that maybe because she's worried about you or another caregiver getting upset. But if we are steady, we want to avoid saying “it's okay.” But if we stay calm, saying, "Yes, you're wet,. Let's go fix it," take them to the bathroom, have them help you undress and change into the clean pants. This process can encourage them to stay dry as well. In Montessori, the solution is to have the child help clean up the mess and help change themselves. And you can kind of draw out the process a little bit so it's boring and they recognize that, "Every time I do this, I'm being taken away from fun, or play, or attention from the adults, and I don't like that." So it's a way to kind of dissuade them from wetting themselves as well.

I would also really highly recommend to you, Tracy, some of the private coaching. We do have coaches around the world. I will link the Coach Finder on the website, where you can put in your zip code, or your city, or your address and you can find a local coach. And if there's not a coach in your area, you can contact mamas@godiaperfree.com, and they can put you in contact with one of the coaches who's willing to do either a phone call or a virtual consultation with you. A lot of the coaches do also offer a little consultation just to make some recommendations for you for further coaching.

But if you've gone through the potty training experience three times and you just aren't getting where you want to go, there's something missing. There's something that needs to change. And it can be really hard as a parent, especially when you're in the thick of it and stressed, it can be very difficult to identify what that is. So the coaches are going to be a huge help for you. Andrea's got, I think, a couple of hundred coaches around the world, myself included, that have been through intensive training. And this is our specialty, is troubleshooting with parents and families, and identifying that little tweak that needs to be made in order to help you be successful.

Thank you both so much for your calls today. And I want to know, on the blog, have you dealt with setbacks? How did you address it? Head over to godiaperfree.com/223. Leave a comment. Ask us any questions you have. Point us to the resources that were helpful for you. We'd love to hear what people out there are using and what things have helped everyone to be more successful.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

Watch the Video Version If you want to watch Nicole record today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Resource RecommendationGo Diaper Free: my popular EC book that simplifies EC, beginning to end

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
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Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

Have you dealt with setbacks? How did you address it?I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!xx Andrea

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The post How do I deal with setbacks after completion? appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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We all know babies poop (a LOT). But what do you do when your baby poops while nursing, in the high chair, only while standing, or in his undies? In today’s episode, Nicole helps 4 mamas problem-solve their poop predicaments.

You Will Hear:* Common challenges parents have with poop and how to address them * Why babies poop while nursing, in the high chair, or in the car seat * How to shift undesirable poop habits like standing while pooping * What to do when your toddler poops in his underwear * When to seek help from a coach and how to find one

Links and other resources mentioned today:* Top Hat Potty * Go Diaper Free Book * “The Golden Window” EC Program * Newborn Poops While Nursing - Podcast #176 * Mini Potty * Blog post - Baby poops in car seat or high chair * The Log app for iOS and Android * Go Diaper Free Certified Coach Training Program * Find a Local Coach or EC Group * Private EC Support Group on Facebook * Private Potty Training Support Group on Facebook * Go Diaper Free Store * Tiny Undies Store

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript Download: All About Poop.pdf

Read the full written transcript: All About Poop!ExpandEPISODE 222: All About Poop!
Hello and welcome to the Go Diaper Free podcast. I'm your host for today's episode, Nicole Cheever, Go Diaper Free Certified Coach and mama of three kiddos who all did EC and potty training at different ages and stages.

Welcome back. This is episode 222, all about poop. You can find the show notes over at godiaperfree.com/222. Leave us a comment, ask us any questions you might have and as always, everything I talk about in today's show will be conveniently linked over there in the show notes. We have four calls to get to today, the first one is from Nat.
Nat:How do I do EC if my baby poops while I breastfeed?
Nicole:
Thanks for the question. Now, it sounds like you've probably got a newborn. It is very common for newborns to poop while they're nursing or bottle feeding. They tend to be very relaxed at those times, and so it's a great opportunity for them to poop. The sphincters need to be relaxed in order to release the poop, for them to push it out, and so nursing or bottle feeding tends to be one of the most common times when newborns will start pooping. And there are a couple ways you can deal with this. There are a few signs that they're going to poop.

A lot of times they will start popping off the breast or the bottle and just having a hard time getting that latch because they're trying to coordinate both nursing and the feeling to need to poop at the same time, and that can be a little bit difficult for them. So, in preparation for this, you can have a Top Hat Potty between your legs that you're nursing over and just go ahead and grunt along when they start pooping. You can notice that they're starting to pop off and either take them to the sink or grab the Top Hat Potty. You can have a waterproof pad of some kind in your lap and have the diaper off while you're nursing. And, again, just grunt along, “mmm mmm” is usually the sound that we use as they're pooping, and that will start to build the sound association for them.
They will grow out of this. They do start to consolidate their poops, so you won't always have to do this. Another thing you can do is take breaks while nursing. If you notice that after, say, five minutes of nursing, that's usually when they start pooping. You can offer them the breasts so that they're not feeling like they're starving, and then take a break after a few minutes, and go offer the potty, and then come back to nursing. They might squawk at this a little bit at first, they might resist it. But after repetition, they will learn the pattern and they will know, "Okay, I get to eat a little bit, and then we take a potty break, and then I get to eat again."

All of this is in the Go Diaper Free book. There are really great instructions for how to start with a newborn and all of these little intricacies, like when you're dealing with pooping while feeding. There is also a Golden Window Newborn EC program on the website, you can enroll in that. And that is a really nice deep dive into all about starting with a newborn. We also have a podcast that I will link, it's number 176. And that is a little bit more detail about what to do if you've got a newborn that poops while you nurse. Thanks so much for the call, Nat. The next one is from Audrey.

Audrey:Hello, my name is Audrey Chefs. I live in Los Angeles, California. I have one baby, my daughter Isadora is aged 12 months. She just turned 12 months a couple weeks ago. So, Issa begins pooping mid-meal. She's always done this with breastfeeding and now we do baby-led weaning, she's feeding herself. And in the high chair, she starts pooping mid-meal, always. And so, how do I handle this situation? Thank you.
Nicole:
Thank you so much, Audrey. This is also very common. I myself had a dinner pooper. My second baby has always been very regular and when we started doing potty training at about 16 months, for the next six months, without fail, in the middle of dinner, she would have to poop. So, while we were in the training process, we actually had a potty right there in the dining room. And I know this can be a little bit off-putting for many people. It's a temporary situation. The high chair, very much like nursing, your baby's going to be in a relaxed position. Not only that, at one-year-old if they've been using the potty, it feels a lot like sitting on a potty. So, subconsciously, their muscles all start to relax and they'll have that urge to poop. There's also a little bit of biological process going on there when they eat, sometimes, that triggers the need to poop.

So, having that potty there in the dining room is very helpful for when that urge all the sudden strikes. Again, this is temporary. You're not always going to keep the potty there in the dining room, but during this transition process it is very helpful, especially, because they can see it. With kids, as with some adults as well, I know this happens to me, often things are out of sight, out of mind. And when they're just really getting that potty independence, they're just learning. Having that potty in view can be a very helpful reminder to them and it will remind them to let you know that they have to go potty. So, see if you're willing to put a potty in the dining room and that way she can just indicate to you when she needs to poop and go ahead and do it there.

I would also take a look at, maybe, having a high chair that's not as comfortable and as potty-like. A lot of plastic high chairs, especially, are contoured. They have a bump in the middle and it feels a lot like a potty. They're very supportive, but it feels a lot like a potty. So, if you can get something with a flat seat, a lot of the wooden high chairs just have the flat seat and you can get a cushion for it, so it's a little bit more comfortable. But that may help her to not, subconsciously, feel like she's on a potty and maybe prevent that urge a little bit more or at least give her more time to notice she has to go potty, and see the potty, and let you know. Or you can notice she's starting to squirm around a little bit and maybe it's time to poop. So, experiment with that. Something a little bit less restrictive, something a little less potty-like for a seat.

I prefer something they can get in and out of by themselves. My second-born, the one I was just mentioning, she was very independent when it came to pottying to the point where, even at 17-18 months she would just go. She would not tell us she needed to go, she would just take herself to the potty. So, I liked to have, at that point, something that she could just get out of and go and sit on the potty that was in the dining room. That way, if I was busy with her older sibling, if I was still preparing part of the meal, whatever I was doing, she was able to have access to that. What we used at the time was one of those travel seats that you just strapped to a regular dining room chair. And rather than having the tray on it, I took that off and just scooched it right up under the table. So, it was like she could have her own chair, and she could push it away from the table, and then climb down herself.

Currently, we have the Tripp Trapp chairs, they're the wooden chairs where the seat moves up and down. There's a variety of different chairs that grow with your kids like that. But it has a great wooden footrest and it scooches right up to the table so that they can just eat at the dining room table with everybody, which we prefer in our family. And also, they can get up and down from it independently. And, at a year, she might need a little bit more help with this, but as you start to get closer to that 18-month mark, depending on her personality, it could come sooner, like mine, at around 15 or 16 months, she's really going to crave that independence anyway. So, thinking about, right now, investing in something that she can get in and out of on her own will help facilitate the potty process during a meal, and it will be helpful for you in the long run.

Thanks so much for the call on that one, Audrey. We also do have a blog post with a little bit more detail that I'll link for you. And it's for when babies poop in the car seat. This is another receptacle that is very common for babies to poop in. So, if you're having this issue with a high chair, you also might be having it with a car seat. And anyone else listening, wondering why your baby poops in the car seat, it's for a lot of the same reasons. It feels like sitting, it's really contoured, and a little bit restrictive, and comfortable. So, they can fully relax and have that urge to poop. All right, the next call here we have is from Emily.

Emily: since he was born, but I recently realized we were allowing for too much naked time and he developed a preference for pooping standing up. Mea culpa, but I need some suggestions for how to fix that, that don't involve just letting him go outside because the dog rolled in it and got an ear infection, so that's not going to work. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thank you so much.
Nicole:
Thanks for the call, Emily. This can also be common. It's not unlike, “my baby will only poop if I give them the diaper.” Anything that we do that is not ideal, that's their preference, that they tend to do better with, if we allow it to keep happening, it's going to keep happening. So, we always want to begin with the end in mind. Where, eventually, do you want your baby to poop? And, obviously, at this point we would like him to poop in the potty, so no more outside, he just can't go. We're not going to allow him outside. Hopefully, you have a little bit of a poop schedule or some predictable pattern with him of when he poops. If you don't, you can always use The Log app and try to time him, and see if there is a certain time of day, or a certain pattern, that he has for when he's going to need to poop.

It might involve a little bit of naked teaching somewhere in the house where the poop is easy to clean up so that you can get him used to pooping on the potty. When we did the Potty Training Experience with my oldest, poop was a little bit tough for us as well. And what ended up being most successful was when we noticed he'd start pooping, we'd bring the potty to him. We'd basically just scooch it right up behind him and gently take his shoulders and have him sit. Although, sometimes, just putting it up right behind their calves, they know it's there, and they'll sit.

You can also try the reducer on the big potty. That's eventually what we went to. But if you have a reducer that he can't easily get on or off by himself, he's going to have to be sitting. So try a reducer. For you, maybe something a little bit more comfortable, like a little bit more curved so that he can relax. There are some potty seat reducers that have the nice high pee guard and it's a curved shape to really support them in that nice squat. So, see if you can find something like that.

If you haven't already been wrapping up with him, it’s definitely time to start wrapping up. Again, beginning with the end in mind, we do eventually want our children to wear clothing. So, another thing that might be helpful to him, this really depends on the personality, but it may be helpful to put him commando in pants or even to put him in undies. If he's so used to pooping standing up out in the open where the poop just falls away from him, if he poops in undies and then it's right up there against his skin, he may really not like that. And that may be a motivator for him to go and put his poop in the potty where he's not going to have to have that sensation.

So, there are a few different things you can play around with there. It is going to take some trial and error, of course, but just begin with the end in mind. Where are you going to want to end up with him? And I always go back And I always like to go back to half a day or a day of intensive teaching whenever there's a missing link there. He's pooping. It sounds like he's probably telling you when he needs to poop, but we do need to get that in the potty. So, just having a little concentrated teaching time, going back to basics is helpful for really a lot of issues we run into with EC and potty training. So, thank you so much for the call, Emily. And our last one here is from Andrea.

Andrea:My name is Andrea. I'm in California, and my son just turned two a month ago, and he's been out of diapers for about three months now besides nighttime, and I cannot get him to stop pooping in his underwear. So, how do I get him to stop pooping in his underwear and tell me when he needs to go?
Nicole:
Thanks for the call, Andrea. Stop using underwear. If the back-up we're using is not working, switch your back-up. That is a really helpful technique as well, even if it means not using a back-up. So, for you that might be, again, a little bit of naked teaching or going commando, which is just pants or shorts with no undies. And it sounds like if he's only been out of diapers for three months, you might have used the Potty Training Experience from The Tiny Potty Training Book, and that's got a lot of troubleshooting in there.

Those of you listening, if you haven't purchased one of the books, one of my favorite benefits of having these books is that you have access to the online community. And there are coaches like me, and there are other parents who have gone through a lot of this. So, not only do you have extensive troubleshooting sections, which, in my opinion, The Tiny Potty Training Book its weight in gold just because of the troubleshooting section. I don't recommend reading it until you're having an issue because it can psych you out. But when you're having an issue, going to that section is very helpful. And then going to the online community, looking if anyone else has posted the question you have. There are coaches on there answering questions, helping mediate everything. And there's also the option to find a coach, which I'll talk about in just a second.

But for you, Andrea, having some of that naked teaching, determining poop times using The Log app, like I mentioned before, that may help him connect the dots. We're looking again at these Building Blocks of Potty Independence. There's something missing there. He's not telling you when he needs to poop, he's doing it in his pants instead. It hasn't quite clicked for him yet that the poop needs to go in the potty. With kids who have been pooping in a diaper for a pretty long time, we're talking usually a year plus, sometimes, opposite of Emily's issue, having that poop up against their skin is what's comforting. That can be really hard for them to not want to do anymore. So, having those undies on, that poop goes right up against his skin, and so that's a motivator for him to poop in the undies. It's comfortable. He's used to it. It's hard to let go of that sometimes, especially if you're using the big potty and it falls really far away from him, that can be a little bit intimidating.

Having him in pretty loose pants where the poop is still there, but it falls away from him a little further, can be a lot more uncomfortable because then it's going down his leg. So, we're going to want to do this in an area where the poop is going to be easy to clean off the floor if it happens. That's kind of an in-between, so it's there a little bit, but then it's falling away, but then it's uncomfortable, so that could help to motivate them.

And having a watchful eye on him when you think it's going to be time for him to poop, that can clue you into what his signals are. Is he starting to squat? Do you have a hiding pooper that they like to go away into a corner or behind the couch or somewhere a little bit private? And think about that too, when you are asking him to poop on the potty. How much privacy are you giving? A lot of these kids really, really want privacy, especially when they're pooping. That is a natural instinct. And a lot of us as parents, we're, number one, so tuned in to wanting to make sure the poop gets in the potty because, of course, we don't want to have to clean it. But then also just being there as a support. And really at the end of the day, we have to remember that it is their journey. And sometimes at very early age, as early as six months, they want privacy, they want to be left alone. You can be there as support around the corner, or right out the door, or maybe even in the room but busying yourself with something else, and that will sometimes help them to feel more comfortable on the potty.

Those are a few tips for you, Andrea. Again, everyone listening, if you are a book owner and you haven't made use of the online portal, it's on Mighty Networks currently, but there's always a link on the website for book owners to find the online portal. Definitely, make use of that. You can also find a coach in your area. We do have the Certified Coach Training Program, which I'm certified through, and we have coaches all over the world. So, I will link that in the show notes to the Coach Finder. You can find your local coach, your local group, there are support groups oftentimes.

And if there's not a coach in your area, go ahead and email mamas@godiaperfree.com because there are some coaches who can help you out virtually or with a phone call. So, contact The Mamas and they will set you up. If you can't find a coach in your area, they'll set you up with someone who can do a long distance coaching session with you. And with a lot of these, it just takes a little bit of fine-tuning. It's not necessarily going to be a long drawn out process. Often one or two meetings with a coach, or one or two phone calls, and you can have it nice and wrapped up.

That concludes our episode on poop. I hope that you found some helpful suggestions here, and let us know on the blog: Has poop been a challenge for you? Which tips that we talked about today are you going to try? Head over to godiaperfree.com/222 and leave us a comment, please ask us questions, let us know if there's anything else you want us to talk about here on the podcast. We love taking suggestions. Thanks, everyone. Take care.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

Watch the Video Version If you want to watch Nicole record today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

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Toys and books can be helpful tools to encourage your kiddo to sit on the potty and stay there… until they become a distraction! Today Nicole breaks down how and when toys can help the process, and what to do when they start to hurt it.

You Will Hear:* How to identify whether play is hindering or helping the potty process * What to do instead of play * Strategies to create a quick and focused potty routine * Helpful language to keep older toddlers on track

Links and other resources mentioned today:* How long should I keep baby on the potty? - Podcast #217 * Go Diaper Free Book * The Log app for iOS and Android * Pees 5 minutes later - Podcast #61 * “Tiny Potty” board book * Tiny Potty Training Book * Go Diaper Free Store * Tiny Undies Store

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

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Read the full written transcript: How much play on the potty is too much?ExpandEPISODE 221: How much play on the potty is too much?

Hello and welcome back. This is podcast episode 221, How much play on the potty is too much? You can find the show notes at godiaperfree.com/221. Leave a comment, ask us questions, and find the links to everything I'm going to mention here in today's show. Today we have a question from Anna Grace.

Anna Grace:Hi, Andrea. My name's Anna Grace and I'm from Louisville, Kentucky, and I have a 15-month-old. We started EC about two months ago, and I have a baby on the way and I'm 35 weeks pregnant, so I plan to do EC with him as soon as he's born. But for my 15-month-old, my question is how much play on the potty is too much and how is it more distracting than beneficial for them to focus? Because I noticed that she tends to hold her pee if she's playing. So we'll be sitting on the potty for like 20 minutes and she still hasn't gone, and then I'll let her walk around without a diaper for a bit and then she'll like pee on the floor a minute later. So it seems that movement helps her, but I feel like the playing is what's distracting her, like the books and the toys that she's holding while she's sitting there, I still try to talk to her about it and remind her to go potty and do her cues, but I just want to know how much play is too much. Thanks.

Nicole:
Thank you so much Anna Grace. Congratulations on baby number two on the way. I hope you're feeling good. Distraction is real at this age, absolutely, 15 months, definitely some distracted babies. And you may have been exaggerating when you said 20 minutes. It might feel like that, but either way, 20 minutes is too long, way too long. Podcast episode 217 is: How long should I keep baby on the potty? And we talk about if it feels like it's too long, it's probably too long. It sounds like your instincts are just spot on. And I love these kinds of questions because parents often, just by talking about it, come around to the right conclusions.

But it's really hard to trust ourselves, I know. This is your first baby you've been ECing with, you maybe don't really know what you're doing or at least don't feel like you know what you're doing. But just listening to your question, you have a lot of your own answers in there. So joining us on the blog, joining us over in the private coaching community you have that goes along with the Go Diaper Free book and just getting these things out, oftentimes, if you read back your question, you will find those answers right in there. And it's so hard in this day and age to trust our instincts, to trust our intuition, but it's there for a reason. Your intuition is guiding you and telling you, “okay, this play is just distracting. She does need to pee obviously because she's peeing really shortly after, but the play is standing in the way.” So listen to those instincts.

Make sure you log her natural timing because that might be off a little bit as well. Especially if she's sitting on the potty for 5, 10, 15 minutes and she's not going. It may just be she didn't quite need to go yet. You want to find both her natural timing and her range. So her average timing might be she has to potty every 40 minutes, but her range might be that sometimes she has to potty within 20 minutes and sometimes she can hold it for an hour and a half. When we were doing the Hybrid Plan with my second, she was about 17 months, and then after we wrapped up, around about 20 months, she held it at one point for four hours. I timed it. I was shocked. And that wasn't the normal, she wasn't going to hold it four hours every time, but that was the top end of her range. So I knew that if I offered her the potty after half an hour and she didn't need to go, that it could be a while. It was just depending on how busy she was.

So log her timing, use The Log app, use the paper, if you prefer, that's included in the resource center for the Go Diaper Free book. But log her timing. Start after she wakes up, or after she drinks a meal if she's nursing or you give her a bottle or anything. Start then and find out both what her average timing is and what both ends of that range are, so that can give you a better clue and you can make sure you're not over offering. Because that will create resistance if we offer too often, and especially if we offer often when they don't have to go. And that will just help you be a little bit more accurate with when she needs to go potty.

The toys in the blocks and everything can be really helpful to get them to stay on the potty, but when it gets too distracting, like it sounds like is happening for you, we need to change tactics. We need to declutter the potty area. No more books, no more toys, we are down to business. Try, if you're not already, using the big toilet with a reducer so that she can't just get up and walk away, that will help to keep her on there. And there's a podcast for when they resist the potty and pee on the floor right after. I'll link that one as well.

And she could also be holding her pee to keep you there. If you're hanging out with her reading books, playing, that sounds like really fun one-on-one time with Mama. And especially when the new baby comes, she's going to be seeking that. So remember, it's quality over quantity. But focus as much as you can, especially after the baby comes, on giving her dedicated just-you-and-her time during the day. If your partner can take the baby, if a grandparent, somebody, can take baby for like 20 minutes, it doesn't have to be a long time. And you just do whatever she wants to do with playing or coloring or reading, and then that way she's not going to be seeking it as much when she's on the potty.

You also want to try and give her privacy on the potty because that will show her: number one, that we're not here to play, we're down for business. And number two, that when we go to the potty, mama's not going to play with you. I'm not going to sit here and read you books and play. I'm going to move on to something I need to do. It's your job to put your pee in the potty and then we can get back to playing. Try to pretend kind of like you're on an outing, at least in your head. Move in a really matter-of-fact way. When we arrive at a public bathroom, we're typically not trying to spend too much time in there, so pretend like you are just wanting to get down to business and then moving on, so that you can get back to playing, or whatever you were doing, as quickly as possible.

Try not to talk about it. Give her that privacy. Turn your back. You can close both of you in the bathroom together. You can shut the door so that you're in there together and she's not running off and peeing on your floor, but try to busy yourself with something else. Fix your hair, open a drawer, do something else that's not focused on her. If it's boring, she'll go. That's the problem, it's too much fun to go to the potty right now, and so she's focused on the fun parts and not the actual pottying. But if you're moving in a matter-of-fact-way and trying to get back to play as quickly as possible, she'll start to learn that the fun part isn't on the potty, it's after we're all done.

As she starts to get older, especially close to 18 months and after that, it may start to get harder to pull her away from play to go to the potty. So it might be possible then to reintegrate a toy. When we were potty training my oldest, we usually had him bring whatever he had in his hand, as long as it was small, to the potty. And then you can potty the dinosaur or the teddy bear first, and then they can go potty.

This is all in the Tiny Potty board book as well. So you can grab that and read through it with her. That look, the little kid is playing and then the bear gets to potty, and then it's right back to play. You can have the conversation, she might not quite understand it yet at this age, but you can start having the conversation that, we're going to potty and then there's something else waiting for us. “Bear wants to play with you. He's waiting for you to finish up pottying.” “The dinosaur wants to play with you. She's waiting for you to finish up going pee so that we can get back in there and play with the dinosaur.” These sort of things will help motivate her to get down to business a little bit more quickly. It's also helpful to start using that when/then statement. “When you're finished pottying, then we can go back and finish reading the book.” That will start to show them that cause and effect that they're going to need to learn. When we're quick with this, then we get to do something fun.

If you use the potty party, as I call it, to help motivate her, if you encourage her to go and use the bathroom when you're going. We have a little mini-potty in our bathroom so that if I have two kids that need to go at the same time, or if my children want to come with me for my wake-up pee, that can kind of encourage them to go. If you're doing the potty party, it can be done in a similar way. You can say, "I'm all done going potty. I can't wait for you to be done so that we can get back to playing together."

And again, she's a little young to really start understanding that language. But as she gets older, rather than reverting back to filling the potty area with lots of fun things and making it too fun to just sit there on the potty, you can use these strategies to encourage her to finish up, and then move on back to what you were doing. The incentive is: the faster we get the pottying done, the quicker we can go back to doing something fun. So those are the suggestions I have for you today, Anna Grace, thanks so much for the question.

Let me know on the blog, those of you who are listening, do you let your baby play on the potty? How do you keep the time focused? How do you know when it's too much play or when the play is actually helping them? Head over to godiaperfree.com/221, and please tell us. Leave your comments, ask us any questions you have, and we'll see you over there on the blog.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

Watch the Video Version If you want to watch Nicole record today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Resource RecommendationGo Diaper Free: my popular EC book that simplifies EC, beginning to end

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

Do you let your baby play on the potty? How do you keep the time focused?I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

The post How much play on the potty is too much? appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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Nighttime pottying can be a great addition to your EC practice, but only if it helps everyone get more sleep. In today’s episode, Nicole troubleshoots 3 questions from mamas who want to catch more pees while still catching their z’s.

You Will Hear:* Important considerations for nighttime EC * Which back-ups work best for nighttime * Strategies for getting baby pottied quickly and quietly and back to sleep * How to use different potties to improve your nighttime routine * When to move from nighttime EC into nighttime potty training

Links and other resources mentioned today:* A Few Thoughts on Nighttime EC - Podcast #193 * Top Hat Potty * Mini Potty * Night-time EC - Podcast #164 * Dream Pee - Podcast #94 * Tiny Potty Training Book * Go Diaper Free Book * “Night Potty” Board Book * Go Diaper Free Store * Tiny Undies Store

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript Download: Night, Night, Night Potty.pdf

Read the full written transcript: Night, Night, Night PottyExpandEPISODE 220: Night, Night, Night Potty
Hello and welcome to the Go Diaper Free podcast. I'm your host for today's episode, Nicole Cheever, Go Diaper Free Certified Coach and mama of three kiddos who all did EC and potty training at different ages and stages.

Welcome back everyone. This is episode 220, talking all about EC and potty training at night. You can find the show notes over at godiaperfree.com/220. Leave a comment, ask a question and find all of the links to everything I will mention in today's show over there at the link.

We have three questions to get to today, all about nighttime potty training and EC. I want to start out by saying that nighttime EC or potty training is a choice. It's definitely not required for success. Many will decide to forgo nighttime EC or potty training. And you can wait with EC to work on nighttime until your baby is waking up dry, usually nine mornings out of 10, which can happen as early as a year old. With potty training, you can choose to focus on daytime or just daytime and nap times, and then tackle nighttime when you feel like you've got a handle on the daytime. Whatever you choose, the most important consideration is the quality of sleep for the whole family. If nighttime EC allows your family to get a better overall quality of sleep, go for it, absolutely. But if it's holding you back, if it's adding to the sleeplessness, adding to the stress, just skip it. It's not worth sacrificing your likely already-compromised sleep, or your baby's. More on that in Episode 193, which I will link in the show notes.

And now, let's get to the specific questions. We've got three today and the first is from Jenny.
Jenny:Hello, my name is Jenny and I'm from Utrecht, which is in the Netherlands. My baby is one year old. My question is how do you deal with nighttime pottying when you notice that your baby needs to pee but she's still too sleepy to actually go on the potty? Right now I notice that she keeps waking up a little bit and then she falls asleep again, but her sleep isn't really like a good quality of sleep, and my sleep definitely isn't either at this moment. So yeah, that's it.
Nicole:
Thank you, Jenny. It sounds like maybe not pottying her is still really disrupting sleep. It sounds like you're saying that she needs to potty and so it's keeping her awake and of course that's keeping you awake as well. So there are a couple things that you can try. If you're nursing her back to sleep, maybe try nursing her over the Top Hat Potty. Sometimes, I know my baby, when she was really small, she used to really want to eat first. I would try to take her to the potty when we were first trying nighttime EC, and she was not having it. She wasn't too sleepy, but she was really fussy because she wanted to eat first, and then she would usually pee in her back-up. So maybe try nursing her over the top hat potty if you're nursing her to sleep and you're finding that she does still pee in the back-up after you've nursed her.

You can also try experimenting with the back-up. I'm not sure what you're using, but if you think it's best to just try to get her back to sleep, you can try using a disposable of some kind. I know that Andrea really likes the Dyper brand. I use Nest and I really love them, they're another compostable brand. If you use a disposable, then it's more wicking and they don't feel wet, and it may allow her to fall asleep more easily and not be as disrupted by that discomfort.

If you're already using the disposable and it's just not cutting it, it's still really disrupting her sleep, pick a weekend or a couple days where it's maybe okay for you to not get as much sleep, or maybe you and your partner are both home. Maybe it's a long weekend and you'll have an opportunity throughout the day during that time period to catch a few naps. And then you can experiment with a few things without having fear of losing more sleep and then having to get back to work or your normal routine.

Try letting her fall back to sleep the first time, and then if she wakes up really soon after, it's potty time. Clearly she's not going to just fall back to sleep and be fine with it, it's bothering her. If changing the back-up hasn't worked, try waking her up a little bit more. I know this sounds really counterintuitive, but you may find a fine line there, whether it's with nursing, whether it's with singing, but doing something that will wake her up a little bit more.

I know for my baby, trying to use the top hat potty, she a lot of times is just far too asleep, or even trying to hold her over the sink. And now she's bigger and a little bit heavier for me to do that anyway, because she's about 15 months. But if you have a seat reducer and you can actually sit her on the potty on the seat reducer, that may wake her up just enough more where she will go potty and then she can go back to sleep more peacefully and restfully and actually stay asleep.

And I don't know what it is, there must be some kind of biological function where, even during the day, my baby, if I give her her water bottle on the potty, she starts to pee. And I know sometimes if I decide to do nighttime EC and I put her on the seat reducer and she starts to kind of fuss, if I nurse her there on the seat reducer, oftentimes she'll pee right away. And so it's a little bit tricky. Sometimes you might need to use the Mini Potty on a countertop so they're up at your height. I can just kneel in front of our big potty and offer her the breast and she nurses and she starts to fall asleep. If you're giving your baby a bottle, you can try the same thing, or a sippy cup, something like that. And that may sort of inspire her to pee. Something about that biological function. If they need to pee and they start drinking, a lot of times they will go.

So those are a few tips for you to try. I'm also going to link podcast 164, which is another mama's experience with nighttime EC that might have a few more insights for you. And I hope that was helpful for you, Jenny.

The next question is going to be from Julia. Let's take a listen.
Julia:Good day, this is Julia in far north Queensland in Australia. Just wondering about our baby, 12 months old, who... Is it okay that at night, we've got her in reusable nappies. So when she wees herself, she realizes and wakes up and she screams because she wants to go back to sleep. Is that okay? Is that a normal part of EC or is there something else we should try? Thank you.
Nicole:
Thank you Julia. Short answer, yes, that's totally normal. It is normal for them to be sensitive and that's good. Practicing EC helps to maintain their sensitivity. But of course, sleep is more important when we're talking about nighttime. As far as, “is it okay?” You're using reusable nappies, for those of us in the US that's cloth diapers, and that's okay if it's okay with you. There's really no wrong way to practice EC, so it's about finding the back-up and finding the methods and the routine that work best for you and your family.

If you would like to switch the diapers so that nighttime isn't quite as dramatic for her, that could be really helpful. Just as I mentioned before with Jenny, you can switch to a disposable at night. With your baby being around a year old, you might find that if you offer a dream pee, she will start coming up dry. My baby is 15 months and she's probably been coming up dry about 90% of the time since she was about a year or 13 months, but we do a dream pee. I don't know necessarily that you could categorize it as a dream pee. It's partly what I suggested to Jenny earlier in the episode, but my baby almost always wakes up about an hour and a half to two hours after I put her down to bed. And that's usually when I'm going to sleep. So right as I'm going to sleep, she wakes up, she has to pee and she wants to nurse. She's already awake, so that's not really a dream pee, and I take her to the potty. And then I put her in the disposable and, nine times out of 10, she wakes up with that one dry and we use it again for the following night.

So don't think you're going to have to necessarily invest in a lot of disposable diapers. Buy a pack, you might find that you're throwing them out before they're actually soiled, because the tabs are falling off and they're just kind of falling apart. But a dream pee is going to be more when they're mostly asleep and either they fuss a little bit, or a true dream pee is you've put them to bed and then when you are going to bed, you take them to the potty when they're in a deep sleep. And so that does require a little bit of rousing. You want to keep the lights low and the sounds quiet and everything and just get right down to business. But if you try a dream pee, that may relieve her enough that she can sleep the rest of the night, or at least a longer stretch, without waking up and screaming.

Those are the two main points I have for you, is switching that back-up and trying a dream pee. And again, maybe picking a weekend or a holiday where you can experiment with this and just find the combination that is going to allow you and your baby to get the most sleep, because that is the most important thing for everybody. Sleep is so, so vital.

Thank you so much for your question, Julia. The last one we have here is from Laura.
Laura:Hi Andrea. My name is Laura, I live in Connecticut. My son is 19 months old and here is my question. I've been doing EC with my 19 month old son since birth. We bed share, and at this point I typically potty him once or twice a night, depending on how much he's nursing in his sleep. During each dream pee I'm still holding him over the sink while he nurses and he's now 29 pounds. I want to transition him to sitting on his regular potty in the bathroom without having to nurse during those dream pees. Any tips for how to do this smoothly? Thank you.

Nicole:
Thank you, Laura. You must be one strong mama. I definitely quit holding my baby over the sink a lot sooner than that, because they can get heavy, so good job with that. But absolutely, I can see why you want to start transitioning. The Mini Potty is a great idea, definitely to save your arms, and I would put a cozy on it for nighttime. That will help him not to wake up too much. It will just have that nice soft little barrier so the seat won't be cold. And you can either put the mini potty on a bathroom counter so it's at your level, or like I mentioned, I like to use a seat reducer and it's a good height for me. I can kneel right in front of our big potty with the seat reducer on it with my baby on there, and I can nurse her if I need to.

I've gone through this a little bit too. We also bed share. She's nursing all night long and, same thing, one or two times a night seems to be perfect for her. But if you're trying to get out of the habit of nursing on the potty, start with nursing on the potty you want to use, so either the mini potty or the seat reducer, and then gradually back off of it. Start to put them on that potty once they get comfortable with it, and only offer the nursing if he starts to get pretty upset and seems like he's waking up too much. Then you can offer the nursing. But you may find that he'll eventually be able to just go ahead and pee and you can get right back to business, getting the diaper back on and then nursing him once you get back to bed.

If that's not working, you can also start to have your husband do the dream pees. This can be difficult. Any time I hand my baby over to my husband either for the dream pee or the morning wake-up pee, my baby starts to cry. She's not having it, she likes her routine. She's like, "Where's mama going?" even though I'm still right there in the bed. But having dad start to do that, or your partner, whoever is there, can really help to break baby of that habit.

Whatever you do, he's not going to love it. You're going to have a period, obviously, where he's resisting thinking, "Why are we changing this mom? It's working for me so great." So just prepare yourself for that. And again, maybe switch on a weekend, or a period where you have a couple days where you can either sneak in naps or it's okay for your sleep to be a little bit broken. But I think you'll find pretty quickly, if you're consistent with this, that he'll be able to get down to business. Because he knows that once you get back to bed, since you're bed sharing and you're nursing in bed, that, “if I pee right now, I'll get my diaper or my back-up back on, we'll get back to bed, and we can nurse as soon as we get there.” That will be the incentive for him. The quicker you get through it, the quicker he can get back into bed and nursing.

The full dream pee instructions, for all three of you ladies, are in episode 94, and I will link that. We also have a Nighttime EC 101 MiniCourse.

And for you, Laura, your baby at 19 months, you're almost getting to potty training. That's not really EC anymore, so it's a really similar process, choosing the back-up that is most likely for them to wake up in before they're going to pee. And sometimes that's no back-up. With my oldest, we did the Tiny Potty Training Experience and we actually had him completely bottomless in bed for a month or two, and then we started experimenting with putting undies on him. So that's going to be pretty soon for you if you think you're ready, if you've wrapped up daytime and you think you're ready to do nighttime, especially if these dream pees are working and he's coming up dry most of the time. It will be time to wrap it up. You can either do a little nighttime Potty Training Experience like that, or check out that Hybrid Plan that's included in the Go Diaper Free book. And that's in the resource center, it's the Optional Hybrid Plan for 12 to 18 Months, and that covers nighttime as well.

For all of you, we also have the "Night Potty" board book. This is a great little book integrating a dream pee into the book. The little kid wakes up and realizes that they need to pee, and then it goes through the process of doing that and getting right back to bed. So that boardbook is at godiaperfree.com and Tiny Undies. I'll link that as well.

And any of you out there who have done nighttime EC or potty training, what did that look like for you? How did you get the most sleep? Please head over to godiaperfree.com/220 for the comment section for the episode. Let us know what worked for you, ask any questions. If you're struggling with the same thing, we'd love to help you out and troubleshoot that. And thanks so much for listening. We'll see you over there on the blog.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

Watch the Video Version If you want to watch Nicole record today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Resource RecommendationGo Diaper Free: my popular EC book that simplifies EC, beginning to end

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You want to try EC, but your baby is a sneaky pooper and hates the potty. What do you do? Today Nicole explains how you can still begin EC, and even catch a few poops!

You Will Hear:* What to expect when starting EC during the newborn phase (0-4 months) * The difference between a poop miss and “skid marks” * Other considerations that might be confused for potty resistance * Alternatives to holding baby on the mini potty * Strategies to help baby stay on the potty longer (and not hate it)

Links and other resources mentioned today:* Go Diaper Free Book * What to Expect with EC in the Newborn Phase - Podcast #190 * The Log app for iOS and Android * How long should I keep baby on the potty? - Podcast #217 * Mini Potty * Top Hat Potty * DIY Potty Cozy blog post * “The Golden Window” EC Program * Go Diaper Free Store * Tiny Undies Store

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript Download: How to start EC with a stealth-pooping baby.pdf

Full Transcript: How to start EC with a stealth-pooping babyExpandEPISODE 219: How to start EC with a stealth-pooping baby
Hello and welcome to the Go Diaper Free podcast. I'm your host for today's episode, Nicole Cheever, Go Diaper Free Certified Coach and mama of three kiddos who all did EC and potty training at different ages and stages.

Welcome back to the Go Diaper Free podcast. This is episode 219, how to start elimination communication with a stealth-pooping Baby. You can find the show notes over at godiaperfree.com/219. Please leave us a comment, ask any questions you have, and as always, find the links to everything that I will mention in today's show. Today we have a call from Louise.

Louise:Hi, I'm Louise from Australia. My baby is three months old and I'm wondering how to start EC with a baby that's a bit of a sneaky pooper and who hates sitting on the mini potty.

Nicole:
Thanks so much, Louise. I'm going to break your very short question down into three parts because there really are three parts there: how to start, what to do when your baby is a sneaky pooper, and how to keep them on the potty. So let's start with how to start. Your baby is three months old. We do at three months, want to start with the easy catches, and they're called that for a reason. They tend to be a little bit easier. One of them usually is poop, but we do have a lot of babies who are sneaky, so we'll get into that in just a minute. But starting with the wake-up pees is going to be very helpful for you. Your goal, really anytime in EC, but especially in this newborn phase, is not to catch 100% of the pees and poops. The goal is to keep your baby clean and dry as much as possible.

Elimination communication aims to keep your baby's sensitivity to their toileting needs. When we full-time diaper, what we end up doing is training our babies into diapers. They're born with this instinct to not soil themselves, or their sleep space, or their caregivers, and we can actually train that out of them by leaving them in the diapers and ignoring the cues that we're giving them. Now, if this was you, if you've ever done this, there's no room for guilt here. You do what you know and then if you know better, you do better. But we do tend to inadvertently train our babies into the diapers, and then two, three, maybe four years later, we have to reverse the process and train them back out.

And our children, just like all of us, have varying levels of sensitivity. Sometimes you have a really chill baby who just isn't bothered by pooping or peeing in their own diaper, and this may be your baby. If he's sneaky about it, it might just be because he's a little bit more on the chill side and he's not really minding pooping in the diaper, so he is not giving you many signals. And then sometimes we have babies who are very physically sensitive and that's when you have a baby that might even be labeled as colicky because they become inconsolable when they're trying to signal that they do not want to wet themselves.

But either way, the goal is not 100% catches. You can listen to Podcast 190, which is what to expect with EC in the newborn phase from zero to four months, and that's going to give you a little bit more of a sense of how often your baby is going to need to go potty and how to handle that with a newborn baby. It does cover poops also, so you can take a listen to that. But really, the main goal is just keeping baby as clean and dry as possible. So when your baby does poop, try to clean it up as quickly as you can so that their diaper and their clothing and everything is as clean and dry as much as possible.

Now, as far as the sneaky pooper, you didn't mention whether or not your baby was breastfed. Exclusively breastfed babies tend to have very runny poops. So is your baby a sneaky pooper or are you just getting little streaks in the diaper? We call them “skid marks.” Sometimes when your baby has gas, a little bit will leak out, especially if they're exclusively breastfed. The poop tends to be a lot more runny. When my baby was less than four months old, we got tons of little streaks in the diapers and you don't have to count that as a miss. Your baby isn't sneaky pooping, they're just leaking out a little bit, which is normal. The sphincter, while they do have some control over it, it does have to grow and get stronger and they will have more control over it as they grow. But for the time being, especially if they have gas and especially if they're breastfed, you are going to get some skid marks there. So if that's what's happening to you, Louise, don't worry about that. That's not sneaky poop. That's just a little bit of leaking.

What you can do for the actual poops, if you don't notice that your baby's bearing down and actually pushing a poop out, when you do open the diaper and notice that there was a poop, you can log that. We have The Log app. We also have the paper log, if you prefer pen and paper, that you can find in the resource center for the Go Diaper Free book. And the Go Diaper Free book is going to cover all of this, too. That's going to be a great way to get you started, no matter what age your baby is, up until 18 months.

With the log, you're going to start either from when your baby's waking or right after you fed him, and you will just mark the time of everything that happens from sleeping, feeding, to poop and pee when you notice it, as soon as you notice that it's happened. What you might find is that your baby has a rhythm, that he's pooping during either a certain time of day or after a certain amount of time following a feeding. We do have babies that sometimes poop during feedings, but most of them grow out of that, usually around this time. And this will give you a little bit more of a guideline. You can start to see, okay, either his poops are always in the morning or he poops three times a day typically, or he poops about half an hour after eating. Whatever it may be, that will give you a guideline to when you can start to pay attention. You can start to notice about half an hour after you feed him whether or not he's pooping, and maybe just that little tuning in, maybe you will catch those signals that were more subtle, and then you will have a better chance of catching the poops in the potty after that.

It's also important to have patience for the poops. A lot of babies tend to pee after they poop. So if you are catching a poop in the potty, it will come out in spurts and then they'll pee. But some of them don't. Some of them start out with a pee. So when you're catching a pee in the potty, it might not be that he's sneaky pooping; it might just be that you didn't quite give him enough time to poop after the pee. For a three-month-old, I really like to use the in-arms position. I know you did mention putting him on the potty, and we'll talk about that in just a moment. But I like to use a nice deep squat with them supported against your chest, facing away from you. And if you have either a vanity mirror in your bathroom over your sink, or you can even get one of those little locker room mirrors, not only so the baby can see in the mirror, but then you can also see the baby's sphincter, the anus, and see when it's stopped pulsing. You can hold the baby and when he pees, just kind of gently bounce, or sing, or talk to him and give him time to relax and push that poop out. The sphincter has to be relaxed for the poop to come out.

And with newborns, this sometimes takes a little bit of practice. It's a little bit of a complicated process. We have to both relax our sphincter muscles and push with our abdomen, so we're tensing some muscles and relaxing others in order to get that poop out. Some newborns just kind of squeeze everything, so they're working against themselves. But they will learn, as you give them time and as they grow, how to coordinate those muscles. So what you can do is hold him in arms over the sink, hum, sing gently, speak to him, and let him relax. And if you have either that bathroom mirror or that little locker mirror, you can see the sphincter and you can see it start to relax. So then have a little patience. You can continue to talk to him or sing a song, and it may come out in spurts.

This is also a great opportunity to teach “all done,” and I just recorded a podcast episode the other day about how long to keep baby on the potty. And that goes through a little bit how to teach “all done.” What will happen is as you start to say, "All done," and then move on to something else, your baby learns that sound, the sound of your words, means that that's the end of their opportunity to go potty. So he might let out a few spurts and then you can say, "All done". And you'll either see nothing or you might see him or feel him push again to try and just finish getting it out. So that patience is going to play a key role in helping you actually get the poops out once you figure out that timing. And again, it may just be that you're letting him pee and you're not quite waiting long enough for him to get a poop out on the potty. And so that's just a matter of keeping him on there a little bit longer.

Once you start catching the poops, you may actually find that he does signal stronger in the diaper. Once babies learn that they can poop in the potty or outside of the diaper, oftentimes they will start to resist pooping in the diaper. When my youngest was about a month old, she didn't really have a problem pooping in the diaper. She would fuss afterwards to let us know that she was dirty. But I would say by probably about two or three months old, when we were consistently trying to catch the poops in the potty, as soon as she had to poop, she would get really fussy. She would really prefer not to poop in the diaper. So that may be another big signal that develops once you figure out your poop schedule and the routine, and start catching those poops. You might notice that he signals a lot stronger to try to avoid pooping in the diaper.

The last part was potty resistance. If you look at the Wonder Weeks, which there is a book and now there's also an app for, check out where your baby is in the Wonder Weeks, because this could possibly just be a fussy period for baby. There are so many different leaps that happen within the first year. It depends on where your baby is in that three-month range, but it could just be a fussy period. It also could be that your baby is learning to roll. I've found when my babies learned to roll, what that tends to look like when I'm holding them either sitting on something or in my lap, they tend to look like they're trying to stand a lot. They're really exercising those leg muscles. And so when you put baby on the Mini Potty, if he's fussing, that could just be the fussy period or maybe it's a mis-guess. Maybe baby doesn't have to go potty right now. But if he seems like he's trying to get off of it, like he's trying to stand up, that could be because he's trying to master rolling, and so he's just obsessed with practicing that right now, anywhere and everywhere, including on the potty.

So, there are a few things you can try. You can try the in-arms that I suggested, facing away from you, either over the sink or over the toilet. You could also try in arms in a Top Hat Potty. The Top Hat Potty has a rubber band around the middle that you can put on it, you can fit it between your legs and that will prevent it slipping. So you can just stick it right between your knees and stick baby on it. And you can also still hold him in that deep squat position to help get those poops out, but that could be a little bit more comfortable for him as well. It's also closer to you. Baby's getting comforted by your body because he's being held a little bit closer to you rather than sitting alone out in the cold on a Mini Potty. You can also try a potty cozy. If you're thinking that maybe the cold plastic is a little bit annoying for him. It doesn't feel as comfortable with the cold plastic. You can order the cozy for the Mini Potty. The Top Hat Potties come with the cozy. And I will also link a tutorial to making your own cozy just out of a T-shirt for the Mini Potty. But that could help him stay a little bit longer there on the potty.

There's a few other strategies like the singing and bouncing and just kind of general distraction. But remember too, if he doesn't have to go potty, he's probably going to resist sitting on it more. So that Log app will really help you get his timing down for pees and poops. So you can be a little bit more accurate on when you're offering, and you're not just offering every 10 minutes because you think it might be coming and you don't know when it's coming. Because when we over-offer, we tend to create resistance in the babies.

We do also have the digital program, the Golden Window, the Newborn EC program for zero to four months. That gives you a deeper dive into all of this; into their timing, into developmentally what it looks like in this period, the different strategies you can use for improving your EC or getting back on track with it in this period. So if you want more of a deep dive, I would check out the Golden Window Newborn Program.

And that's pretty much all I have for you today, Louise. I hope that was helpful, and I want to hear from all of you. Have you ever tried EC with a zero to four-month-old baby, and what advice do you have for this age? What strategies worked for you and what things would you avoid? Please head over to the Go Diaper Free blog, godiaperfree.com/219 to leave your comments, ask your questions, and we will see you over there. Thanks everyone.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

Watch the Video Version If you want to watch Nicole record today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Resource RecommendationGo Diaper Free: my popular EC book that simplifies EC, beginning to end

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

Have you tried EC with a newborn baby? What advice do you have for this age?I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

The post How to start EC with a stealth-pooping baby appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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It’s time to start potty training! But wait… HOW? Today Nicole talks about how to start potty training off on the right foot, and shares tips to help the process go more smoothly for everyone.

You Will Hear:* How to decide whether to start with EC or potty training * Tips for easing-in to potty learning * How to tell when your kiddo needs to go * How to do diaper-free observation with a mobile toddler * Considerations and strategies for potty training while in daycare * How to schedule potty training when you’re a working parent

Links and other resources mentioned today:* Go Diaper Free Book * Tiny Potty Training Book * Tiny Undies small baby underwear * Tiny Trainers * The Log app for iOS and Android * Mini Potty * YouTube Easy Catches series * The Wake Up + Pee - Podcast #28 * The Diaper Change - Podcast #29 * Poop - Podcast #30 * Ins and Outs - Podcast #32 * “Passing the Baton” EC Program * “Tiny Potty” board book * Successful Potty Training with Daycare - Podcast #156 * Go Diaper Free Store * Tiny Undies Store

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript Download: How to start potty training.pdf

Full Transcript: How to start potty training?ExpandEPISODE 218: How to start potty training
Hello and welcome to the Go Diaper Free podcast. I'm your host for today's episode, Nicole Cheever, Go Diaper Free Certified Coach and mama of three kiddos who all did EC and potty training at different ages and stages.

Hello, hello. Welcome back to the Go Diaper Free podcast. This is episode 218, How to start potty training. You can find the show notes over at godiaperfree.com/218. Leave us a comment, ask us a question, we'd love to chat with you over there. And of course, everything I mentioned in today's episode will be there on the show notes. All right, let's start with our first call, we’ve got two to hear, and this one is from Andrea.
Andrea:Hi, yes, my name is Andrea. I have a one-year-old granddaughter and I am interested in this process and how it works. Kind of just want to get her started on potty training, but don't really know how to go about doing it. Thank you.
Nicole:
Thanks so much for the call, Andrea. I love when grandparents or other caregivers outside the direct parents want to get involved with EC or potty training. It really helps to make the process so much more smooth, so thank you. One year is a great time to start and that is still typically EC depending on how close she is to that 12 month mark or how close she is to the 18 month mark. Typically, at one year, we're doing EC. It is starting to look a little bit more like potty training because they are usually mobile. If she's not walking yet, I'm sure she will be soon, and so there are some considerations that I'll go through here for you.

Start out with getting the Go Diaper Free book. That's going to have everything you need in it. It's going to have details for the plan that I'm going to mention right now. It's got a resource library with pictures and videos and handouts. You've got a support community that comes with that, and if you start to get close to that 18 month mark where EC isn't really fitting for your granddaughter anymore, you have the optional hybrid plan for 12 to 18 month old babies.

You can jump just straight into that and that might help wrap up the process for you. So the nice thing about starting around the year mark is you're probably going to be done with the whole process pretty quickly. You usually want to try to wrap it up around 18 months. If you can't, you can kind of put a button on it at the end with a potty training experience that can be found in The Tiny Potty Training Book. But typically, you can sort of go through the whole process in just a few months and have her out of diapers. Wouldn't that be awesome?

All right, we want to get you out of the diaper habit. So first you need to figure out, well, when does she need to pee? When you're using commercial disposable diapers like you might be, it's really hard for you to tell when she's peeing. Pooping is usually a lot easier, but it's also hard for her to tell because they're very wicking and so unless you've given her a lot of diaper free time, she probably has not connected the sensation in her body with feeling wet or even seeing pee come out of her.

So your first step is going to help both of you with this. You're going to want to do at least one to two days of concentrated diaper free observation time. With a mobile baby, diaper free can be a little maddening because of course they're moving all over the place. They don't want to stay off of your carpets. So it doesn't have to be naked bottom, but you want to make sure you can still tell when they're going pee. Tiny Undies has cotton training pants, usually blackberry purple and one of the blue colors, those are usually the easiest to tell when they've gotten wet.

You can go with the training pants, which have added layers in the crotch area to catch almost a full pee and keep it off your floors. However, because it has to soak through those layers, you're not necessarily going to see right away when they're wet. So you can either use some kind of backup where it's easy to tell – you can use a sumo-style cloth diaper, and you can read about what that is in the resource library for the book – or you can just go completely diaper free and either protect your floors by laying down yoga mats, towels, whatever you want to lay down, or I like to do, trap us in the kitchen. I don't have carpet in my kitchen and I can designate a cabinet that I've stocked full of things that are interesting for them to play with like plastic bowls, cups, and spoons, and just hang out in there while we're doing our diaper free observation time. Download The Log app, or the book comes with a template for a paper log that you can write down what she's doing if you're more of a pen and paper kind of person, but The Log app will let you mark when she wakes up, when she eats or drinks. You can put comments in and everything. You can say, "Had apple juice with lunch" because we all know that that's going to make them pee pretty soon, and then mark when they pee or poop.

So be prepared to clean up some pee or poop, and also have a Mini Potty nearby so that every time something starts to come out of her, you can say, "Wait, put it in the potty," and then help her move. Either airlift her over to the potty, or bring it up behind her calves and have her sit, whatever method works for you. But try to at least get the last drop in the potty because that will also show her, "Now instead of using diapers, we're going to start using the potty. I'm going to show you how to put your pee and poop in the potty." And this is what we call an ease-in step. You're starting to introduce her to those sensations. You're starting to show her, “you need to move yourself to the potty.”

I like the Mini Potty there on the floor because it's quick and convenient and can save a little bit of that cleanup rather than going all the way to the bathroom. And that will help her start to make those connections of, "I have this feeling in my body. Now pee is coming out of me." That will get you started.

The next thing that you want to try are the easy catches. I will link to the four easy catches. There are some YouTube videos, and there are podcasts on them as well. And that's another way that you can ease-in to the potty training and EC, and just break that diaper habit. So there's the wake-up pee, offering the potty at diaper changes, poop is always an easy catch as well. And then the last easy catch is getting in or out of anything. Before you get in the car seat, after you get her out of the highchair, usually if she's been in some kind of container, a carrier, whatever it is for any amount of time. I especially like to offer when they're getting out because that sitting position can start to remind them of the potty and sort of get them relaxed and get everything ready to go. I know my kids usually need to go potty either during a meal or right afterwards because they've been in that relaxed sitting position for a little while.

We do have a section in the Go Diaper Free book as well called the Building Blocks of Potty Independence, and you want to start teaching those now. Those are all the little steps that are going to get her eventually to go to the potty by herself. You're going to start teaching her how to manipulate her clothing, getting her pants on and off, teaching her how to get to the bathroom. And these are all during times when she doesn't have to go potty, so this is separate from the diaper free observation time. You can teach her how to turn on and off the light switch in the bathroom. You can get a little light switch extender if you need to. There are lots of little steps that you can start teaching her now and put together and those will eventually all come together in her having a potty routine when she's potty independent. Exposing her now will make it a lot easier to wrap her up when you're ready to do that.

If you need a little bit more concentrated help, there is a digital program called “Passing the Baton,” which goes over all of that. And I always recommend the Tiny Potty board book because that has got a whole routine lined out in a really cute sing-song, rhyming story with cute pictures. So that's fun for any child six months or older to go through, and it's a great example. If you don't have older grandchildren or other children or neighbors around who can model that for them, the board book is super helpful to line that out and show them all of the steps. And then you can refer back to it as you're teaching. You can say, "Let's go wash our hands like the little kid in the book did," and help them that way. It's a great reinforcer for them.

Again, you can also go to the optional hybrid plan. If you're going along and she's really just soaking it all up and really wanting to run with this, give her the tools. You'll be surprised. We don't think they're ready, and they will always surprise us. If you give them the opportunity to, they will take the reins and they will run with it. And the closer they get to 18 months, they're really craving that. That's that toddler period of “me do it.” So as much as you can teach her and hand over the reins as soon as possible, that will make your transition smoother as well.

That's what I've got for you, Andrea, for starting out with a one-year-old. We've got another call that I want to take from Birgit, and let's listen to what she has to say.
Birgit:Hi, Andrea. So my question is how to start this potty training. I actually purchased the book already anyway, but my toddler is one year and eight months, and he already started kindergarten. In Estonia, we call this kindergarten already, but it's for the babies in a way. And he is in there from morning from nine to 12, so that makes this potty training at home a bit more difficult. So how to start from that, that I cannot do this by your book to keep all this two days without any pants on, et cetera, full days. I am also an entrepreneur, so working from home, so logically it is difficult to be without your phone or laptop for the whole day. Of course, when he takes a nap, then of course, I can do those things. But anyway, looking at him and observing behavior, et cetera, that is possible of course. But then my main question is how to do this potty training, how to start this when he's in kindergarten already and have three hours in the morning he's there and I don't have the overview what he does or not. Thank you, Andrea. They do potty training in kindergarten too, by the way.

Nicole:
Well, there you go, Birgit. It sounds like you're going to have support in potty training from the kindergarten staff and that's fantastic. For those of you listening, if you are thinking about sending your kiddo to preschool, daycare, kindergarten, or you're already there and you're not yet potty trained, getting the staff's help is super important.

If you haven't picked a care facility yet, that is probably one of the most important things if you're going to want to potty train while you're there, is to find out what their policy is on how much they can help, what their philosophy is. Typically, the Montessori schools are a little bit more inclined to help because Montessori says that the sensitive period is at 18 to 24 months for potty training, so that can be a bonus. If you can find a Montessori school in your area for preschool or kindergarten, they usually can help you.

Or if you're at a school and you find out they're not going to be supportive, then it might be time to look for something else before you start the potty training. So Birgit, it sounds like you have the book already, which is great. There is also a podcast, episode 156, Successful Potty Training With Daycare, about having a conversation with them to start with, what that would look like, how you can ask them for support.

I would start out doing your concentrated naked teaching days on a weekend. I know as an entrepreneur sometimes your weekends aren't really your weekend, but if there's a way that you can just tell all your clients, "I'm taking these two vacation days" or whatever it is you need to do, there are optional ease-in steps in the book. You can take those throughout the week just when your son is home, but then do your concentrated naked teaching days on that weekend.

And have already had that conversation with the daycare, prep them. Let them know it's on the calendar. “This is the weekend we're potty training. Here's the plan, here's the support I'm going to need from you.” They can ask you questions, whatever you need to do. And then when you bring him to school on Monday, you go in and do a foundation pee, you help him to the bathroom. And you can talk to him about this beforehand when you're at school doing pickup or drop off. You can point out the potty to him, that can be part of your ease in step. "Oh, this weekend we're going to potty train and then you're going to come back to school next week and that's where the potty is and Mrs. Sarah is going to help you at the potty." So then you get there on Monday, you go in with him and Mrs. Sarah, you do the foundation pee together. You remind him that he's going to say now to Mrs. Sarah what he was saying to you at home. "Okay sweetheart, you say, mama pee-pee at home, please tell Mrs. Sarah I need to pee-pee, or Mrs. Sarah pee-pee, when you're here at school. And then when mama comes to pick you up, we'll go home and you can tell mama that you need to pee."

And then Miss Sarah also knows that if she hears "Mama pee-pee" or whatever your phrase is, that that's what she needs to look out for. You want to also mindfully schedule your day around the potty learning. You said that you can do some of your work during nap times. It sounds like you can schedule your meetings and all of the work you need to do while he's in kindergarten, or at least most of it. So then you have the afternoon ready to maintain and continue on and troubleshoot all of the potty learning while he's home. And then if you have a partner or spouse who comes home in the evening, make sure you have worked out a plan for how that's going to go too. Maybe for the first couple weeks while you're getting the potty training going, when they come home, they take over potty training so that you can finish the rest of whatever you need to do with your business. So that should all be in the potty training book and the podcast that I'm going to link as far as going to daycare or kindergarten or preschool while potty training.

And there is a big troubleshooting section in the potty training book that covers some of these things as well. Mostly from personal experience, I would recommend when you ditch diapers for kindergarten, ditch daytime and nap time at minimum. Andrea gives the option that you could start with daytime and then do nighttime and naps later, and you absolutely can do that. What I found in my experience was sending my second to school – she was about 17 or 18 months when we wrapped her up with the potty training experience – we sent her to school and let them put her in diapers for nap time. I would advise against that from my experience. I would say either, like my first, we diapers completely day and night, all cold turkey. He was about two and a half. Either do that or only have diapers at nighttime, not nap time. I think that having them during the nap during the day can get a little bit confusing and sort of slow your progress.

So if you're worried about getting as much done as you can in that weekend before he goes back to school with potty training, with teaching, I would ditch the diapers at least during the nap time as well, if not all together. Nap times are shorter, so even if they didn't pee right before the nap, they're more likely to be able to hold it through a nap than they are through the whole night. And even if they don't hold it through the nap, if they have a miss, that's a teaching opportunity. There's always something to learn from a miss for either you or your child, or both.

That's a conversation you can have with them, "Oops, you pee-pee'd in your cot" or your bed or wherever he is taking his nap. "Next time let's pee-pee before nap time so we can keep your bed dry." And that can sort of incentivize him. If you're having trouble getting him to use the bathroom before the nap, then that process, that learning process can help encourage him to use the bathroom and go pee before he takes the nap. So that's my advice based on my personal experience. In the book, you can read about how you can just do diaper free during daytime to start out with and then deal with naps and nighttime later, but that is my preferred method now, is to get them completely done during all parts of the day, including naps.

All right, those are the tips I have for you, Birgit. Hopefully that's helpful. I'm really excited for you that you do have the support of your kindergarten. I think that will help you a ton, make the whole process a lot quicker and easier. And for those of you listening, if you have started potty training with a one-year-old or older, how did it go for you? How did you get started? What worked for you, and what tips do you have for Birgit, and for Andrea, and all of the other parents and caregivers out there listening? Head on over to godiaperfree.com/218 for the show notes, all of the links to everything I talked about. Let us know what you think, ask us any questions you might have, leave a comment, and we'll see you over there.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

Watch the Video Version If you want to watch me record today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

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What tips do you have for getting started with potty training? What worked for you?I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!xx Andrea

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You did it! You offered your baby the potty and she peed! But how can you tell if she’s finished? In today’s episode, Nicole will break down how long to keep baby on the potty, plus how to tell if your wee one is, well, done weeing.

You Will Hear:* Common signs that your baby has finished eliminating * Tips for teaching your baby how to communicate that they’re finished * How using an observation log can prevent your baby from peeing too often * A few ways to encourage baby to stay on the potty and finish peeing

Links and other resources mentioned today:* Top Hat Potty * Go Diaper Free Book * The Log app for iOS and Android * Potty Milestones Podcast * How often will my baby pee? Podcast * Mini Potty * Go Diaper Free Store * Tiny Undies Store

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript Download: How long should I keep baby on the potty.pdf

Full Transcript: How long should I keep baby on the potty?ExpandEPISODE 217: How long should I keep baby on the potty?
Hello and welcome to the Go Diaper Free podcast. I'm your host for today's episode, Nicole Cheever, Go Diaper Free Certified Coach and mama of three kiddos who all did EC and potty training at different ages and stages.

Welcome back, this is episode 217, “How long should I keep baby on the potty?” You can find the show notes over at godiaperfree.com/217. Leave us a comment, ask us any questions you might have, and then of course find all of the links to everything I mentioned here in today's episode.

Today we have two calls from Katryna and Jiannina. Look at that we're rhyming today. Let's go ahead and listen.
Katryna:My name is Katryna. I'm in Bristol in the UK, and my baby is 16 weeks now, I'm coming up for four months. Just wondering how you know when to take your baby off of the potty. So, if he hasn't done anything on the potty or perhaps he's done a wee, but knowing how long to leave him on there for before taking him off. Thank you.
Nicole:
All right, thank you Katryna. And Jiannina has a pretty similar question, let's listen.
Jiannina:Hi Andrea, this is Jiannina from Minnesota. My baby is six months old and I would like to know for how long should I keep my baby in the potty, I'm not sure if it's just like a couple of minutes or it's just like for a little bit. How does that work?

Nicole:
Thank you both so much for your calls. This is a great question and it varies a lot by age. So Katryna, you've got a four month old and Jiannina, you've got a six month old. And while you're both in that early beginner, what we call non-mobile baby phase, Jiannina you're going to be leaving that pretty soon here. If your baby isn't already trying to push up on hands and knees, or scooch or crawl, that's probably going to be coming pretty soon here for you.

So, how long to keep your baby on the potty is going to vary a little bit. But in general, if it feels too long, it's probably been too long. I know it can be really hard to trust our intuition and tap into that, but one of the reasons I love EC is I feel like that's a really great practice in doing that and sort of reaffirming to yourself, or reassuring yourself, that your intuition is a valuable tool. If you've ever experienced a phantom pee, or we call it “spidey sense” in this house, that “I think the baby needs to pee,” or even that, “she couldn't possibly have to pee again,” that's your intuition talking and it is really important to listen to and it's very helpful and valuable in EC. So this is a good practice in that. If it feels like your baby's been on the potty too long and they're done, go ahead and take them off.

You can teach your baby all done regardless of how old they are. If you're listening and you've got a brand new baby or you're still pregnant, you can teach all done from the very beginning. And with my youngest, when we started at about 10 days old, we were holding her over the sink and when it seemed like she had finished pushing everything out, I would just ask, “all done?” Now, of course they don't understand spoken word yet, but it's a pattern. Humans are engineered, we are instinctually looking for patterns all the time. So your baby starts to hear that phrase, and you can use the same inflection, and if you say, “all done,” and then move away from the potty or take your baby off the potty, what that teaches them is when I hear that phrase, I know that my chance to go potty is over. I'm going to have the nappy or the diaper put back on, or undies or whatever it may be, or I'm going to leave the bathroom.

You do that from birth, and slowly and slowly they will start to understand what that means. Now, Jiannina, you probably have a baby sitting up independently now. So, while your baby is sitting on the potty, you can also start to incorporate American Sign Language and the sign for “all done” for those of you watching the video version, you have open palms and you kind of flick them out twice, all done. And so you can teach that to your baby, Katryna you could be starting this too, you can teach all done to your babies so that even though they're not speaking yet they can communicate to you that they're all done.

As they get a little older, they will start experimenting with saying all done and then not really meaning that. You can cross that bridge when you get to it and encourage them to stay a little bit longer on the potty. But that will help you teach them that when we say this phrase, when we do this hand signal, that means that your opportunity is finished. So that's one of the ways you can teach your baby how to understand from you when it's time to be all done on the potty to kind of speed things along.

Things that you can look out for are, especially with newborns and young infants, often a poop will end in a pee. I started noticing this with my youngest when we were doing EC, I probably started noticing it about around three months. She would take a little while to push the poop out, sometimes it would come out in spurts. She was exclusively breastfed, so it was very liquidy and we just did it over the sink and washed it down. But then I would wait a few seconds and sure enough, a pee would come out, and that's usually how I knew she was done. Now as she's gotten older, she's on solids now, she's grown and developed, sometimes that pee doesn't come right away. So she'll either sign that she's all done and we'll get her off the potty, and then I'll ninja hover, I'll keep kind of a hawkeye on her without trying to let her know that I'm hovering. And then when I start to see that pee-pee dance again, it may only be two or three minutes later, I'll bring her back to the potty and she'll pee.

When you've got a newborn or a young infant, you can hold them over the Top Hat Potty or the sink or whatever you're using. And once they seem like they've stopped pooping, there's no more gas coming out, you can carry them around on your hip for a minute or two without the diaper on and kind of reset, readjust, move your arms, get the circulation back in them, and then go back and try again to see if you can catch that final pee, if that's what your baby does. It seems like this is really common, I don't know if all babies do it, but it seems really common that a lot of them will kind of save the pee for last. So that's something you can look out for.

You can also use the observation log, either the paper one that is included in the Go Diaper Free book or there's The Log app and you can track how often your baby is having to go pee. And if you're noticing that they're going pee very frequently, they might not be emptying their bladder all the way. So educate yourself on what the developmental expectation is for your baby as far as typically how long they can go between pees. This is going to get longer and longer as they grow, and of course it's just general, it's not a hard and fast rule, but typically as they get older they start to consolidate their pees and they don't have to pee as often. I will link a couple different blog posts here in the show notes about what you can expect at each phase of EC, and that will also tell you about how long they usually wait between pees.

A bored baby will go pee more often, and if you're taking them to the potty very frequently, they think that they're going to have a lot of those opportunities. So, we can actually kind of work against them consolidating their pees if we're offering too often. It's a balance. You have to really learn your baby and their preferences and their rhythm, but that's what elimination communication is all about, it's that two-way communication. You're communicating with them where to go potty and that you will reliably take them to that place and help them, and they're communicating to you when they need to go. So it's that give and take. You will learn as you go, The Log app will help you, your intuition will help you, naked observation time will help you, and you can really see how long it takes for them to finish going and about how long between potty trips. You can have it all laid out on paper there and for some of us that's a little bit easier to see. The Log app has two options for nice graphs for you to see what their average intervals are so you can base it off of that, base your rhythm of your day off of how often they're peeing.

Katryna, you've mentioned something about putting them on the potty and them not going, that's what we call a “mis-guess.” So doing the observation and using The Log will help you with that as well. If you are offering too frequently as they get older, that can definitely cause potty resistance or if you're leaving them on too long and they're fussing. But that's another reason to know your baby and know what their signals are and what's kind of expected at every age. Because really young babies will often cry on the potty, and as adults we think, “oh, they're done, or they don't want to be on here,” when really it's just a normal thing for some babies to cry as they're eliminating because it's a new sensation and it's kind of weird for them. So, I'll link another podcast on here about baby cries while pottying, if you're in that phase.

And then when my youngest started solids, she would fuss on the potty as well. So that's where these observations and really knowing your baby are very important, is you know the difference between a “I'm all done” fuss and “I want to get off the potty,” or “I'm just uncomfortable because now I'm eating solids and this poop feels different coming out and it's kind of bothering me.” So Jiannina, you might be in that phase, if you're not right now you'll probably be in that phase pretty soon.

My youngest particularly got really agitated when she needed to poop, and in fact, her poops went down to just every other day for the first two or three months after we started solids, because it was a new sensation, she wasn't really comfortable with it. She would make all of these fussing sounds and grunting and kind of whining sounds that at first I thought, “oh, you're done. You don't want to be on the potty anymore,” because that previously was what I relied on to tell me she was all done. We were using a seat reducer right around the time she started solid. So we went back to in-arms over the sink to get that deep squat and really help her get that poop out, because even though it's normal for them to go down to pooping every other day, we don't want to have it be too long. We don't want it to be like two, three, four days because then they can start to become constipated and then the poop can be painful. And then we're having another issue, they're not crying because they want to get off the potty, they're crying because it's hard for them to get their poop out and it hurts.

So there is a fine line there. Observe your baby, log your baby, get to know your baby. And of course, the moment you get used to it and into a rhythm, they're going to change. They'll reach another leap or another developmental shift, and then you're going to have to relearn them all over again. So that's what’s great about having the observation logs is you can just go back to it. It's never a bad idea to go back to basics and just start with a day of naked observation or even just a couple hours, get your rhythm back, find their new interval, and get right back on track.

If your baby is not staying on the potty, it's not a matter of you wondering when they're done, they just won't stay long enough to a potty and you're finding their peeing really frequently, there are a number of things you can do for that sort of sitting resistance. One of them is getting a potty cozy. We're getting into the winter months now, it's November here, and if you're using just a Mini Potty or a plain plastic seat reducer, it might be cold and they don't really want to sit that long. So getting a potty cozy can be really important. The Top Hat potties at Tiny Undies come with a cozy, and then you have an option to choose a cozy with the mini potty. I recommend using the Mini Potty with the cozy during the winter months if you're using a Mini Potty and they're crawling right off of it. Jiannina, you might be coming upon that pretty soon here, if you're not already. Then you can get a seat reducer, and either get one with a cushion or you can make or get a cover for the seat reducer to make it softer and not as cold. Nobody likes a cold toilet seat. That definitely makes everybody want to get off pretty quickly.

Those are some tips I have for you also on how to encourage them to stay on the potty, when you think they still have to go, if they're trying to get off. And at the end of the day, use the backup for what it was intended for. It is a tool. It's not a full-time wearable toilet, but it is a tool to help catch anything you might miss if they weren't quite done. And then you just go ahead and put that in your Log app, put that on your observation log, and you can see, for example, when we do the morning pee, she has a lot, and so I need to stay a little bit longer because she peed and then two minutes later she peed again, so let's try staying a little bit longer. If that's not it, it is normal still, especially when they've been asleep for a long time or they haven't gone for a while, it is normal for them to have two pees somewhat close together. My youngest does her morning pee, and then about 15 minutes later she'll do another pee. So using those logs is going to help you see that picture a lot more clearly.

All right, ladies, I hope that was helpful for you and everybody listening. Thanks so much for tuning in today. Go ahead and head over to godiaperfree.com/217 to get the show notes for this episode. Ask any questions you have, leave a comment, and let us know: how did you know when your baby was done on the potty? What signals did they give you? We'll see you over there. Thanks so much for listening, and we'll see you again next time.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

Watch the Video Version If you want to watch me record today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Resource RecommendationGo Diaper Free: my popular EC book that simplifies EC, beginning to end

Thanks for Listening!To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

How did you know when your baby was done on the potty? What signals did they give you?I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!xx Andrea

Disclosure Note: As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from purchases made through the links on this page.

The post How long should I keep baby on the potty? appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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Your toddler tells you when he needs to pee, but what can you do to teach him to take himself to the potty? In today’s episode, Nicole shares some helpful tips to get your LO moving in the right direction.

You Will Hear:* Steps to take if the pee isn’t making it into the potty * Tips for combating distractions when it’s potty time * How to help your toddler bring more awareness to their body * Strategies to make the toilet easier to get to (and get onto) * Why it’s important to give your kiddo more independence in the bathroom

Links and other resources mentioned today:* Go Diaper Free Book * Mini Potty * Passing the Baton EC Program * Go Diaper Free Store * Tiny Undies Store

Download the TranscriptIf you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript Download: Teaching Get to the Potty.pdf

Full Transcript: Teaching “Get to the Potty”ExpandEPISODE 216: Teaching “Get to the Potty!”

Hello, and welcome to The Go Diaper Free Podcast. I am your host for today's episode, Nicole Cheever, Go Diaper Free Certified Coach and mama of three kiddos who all did EC and potty training at different ages and stages.

Hello again. This is episode 216, Teaching “Get to the Potty!” You can find the show notes over at godiaperfree.com/216. Leave a comment, ask us a question, and find all of the links to everything I mentioned in today's show. Today we have a question from Kristin, so let's take a listen.

Kristin:My name is Kristin. We have a six year old and an 18 month old, and we're wondering if there's anything we can do to teach or encourage the 18 month old to be able to spontaneously get himself to the bathroom when he needs to go.
Nicole:
Thanks so much for the question, Kristin. I'm not sure whether or not you're dealing with wet pants or if you're just really wanting your child to initiate moving to the bathroom themselves just because you're having to bring them or remind them or whatever it may be.

If you're dealing with wet pants or wet floor, that means that there is a connection missing. So your child is 18 months and it sounds like you probably EC'd with your child up to this point. There is, in the Go Diaper Free book, an optional hybrid plan for toddlers 12 to 18 months, and then there's also a section in the book called the Building Blocks of Potty Independence. Both of those are going to give you the steps to getting your child to be going to the bathroom on their own and not having those accidents on the floor, and they're going to go through the instructions for naked teaching.

For those of you that are listening that your child may be 18 months or older, that's a slow and elongated potty training experience that we have in The Tiny Potty Training Book. So either of those will really work for you, Kristin. I would err more on the side of the potty training, the quick and simple naked teaching, maybe one or two days. So if you're dealing with wet pants, that's what I would recommend.

If you're just wanting to get your child to the potty because you're feeling like you're having to do a lot of prompting and reminding, but you don't have a lot of wet pants or misses to deal with, then we're just going to focus on that one step and we're going to ease in.

There are a few ways you can go about this. One of them is I would say bring a little potty into the play space. You will eventually be having your child go to the bathroom, but to start with, this may help because your child might be really focused on playing and that potty is out of sight out of mind. Bringing the potty into the play space, even if he's not going to use that potty, it's just there where he can see it as a visual reminder. That can actually help him initiate.

If he's not wanting to leave play to move to the bathroom, having that potty there in the play space can really help him not feel like he's having to completely leave play. This is very common, especially in young toddlers. My son would actually start to make a grunting sound while he was playing. He wouldn't really do a physical pee pee dance, but he'd start to grunt with effort like he was trying to hold his pee in, and that's when I knew I had to remind him. So one of the things we did was either have the small potty right there, the Mini Potty right there in the playroom, or we started making a habit of bringing whatever he had in his hand, if we could, if it was small enough, to the potty with him.

All of these things, having the potty in the play space and bringing the toy, you're going to wean off of, but at least right now to start making that connection, you can use that as a tool.
Another thing you can do is make it a game. Make it fun. "Hey, who can race to the potty?" You can play hide and seek with the potty, just suddenly at one point during the day go, "Where's the potty? Mama can't find the potty. Can anybody find the potty?" And have your child go look for it. That will start to really build that neural connection of, "I'm in the living room or wherever I am, and if I want to find the potty, I have to move my body over to the hallway, down the hallway to the bathroom…” Wherever that may be. Repeating that process again and again will help them build that connection and help them remember it.

And at 18 months, they are building long-term memory right now, so try not to get discouraged if it looks like things are backsliding a little bit. Sometimes when they're building that long-term memory, things can start to get a little bit out of order, so having patience for that and having patience for the fact that you're probably going to need to prompt him most of his life. Your six-year-old, you probably still need to prompt, but you can get your six-year-old and the other members of the family involved as well in making this a game, or in just modeling it.

I used to get a little bit irritated with my older two. They still, at three-and-a-half and five years old, will announce every single time, "I got to go pee pee." And my response usually is, "Okay," and I just wait and they say, "I'm going to go to the bathroom," and I'll say, "That's a good idea." But my youngest is growing up hearing them announce every time, "I have to go to the bathroom, I have to go pee pee, I have to poop," and then watching them move to the potty.

So if you can do that, it might sound funny and feel a little awkward at first, but if you can do that, your spouse or partner can do that, your six-year-old can do that. If you can get everyone in the family involved with, "My belly feels really full of pee pee. I think I'm going to go to the potty. Here I go," and your child is, hopefully their attention is drawn away from what they're doing and they're hearing you say that and thinking about their own body. "Oh, does my belly feel a little bit full of pee pee? Oh, mom said hers does. There she goes, walking to the bathroom." We're modeling that, if I have this feeling in my body, here's what I should do about it.

If you can enlist everybody to help with that, again, it's something you can wean off of. Might take a while. My five year old is still announcing every time, but it's helpful, especially for his younger siblings.

Pointing out, when you notice your 18 month old doing the pee pee dance, is also very helpful. Rather than just taking them yourself if you want them to initiate, you can just say, "I noticed you're doing your pee pee dance. I notice you're grabbing your crotch. Oh, I hear you grunting. It sounds like you're trying to hold in your pee pee. Let's go ahead and go to the bathroom and let it out." But don't lead the way. Just make a short statement like that and wait and see if they will go, "Oh yeah, I have to go pee pee," and move their body.

If they don't, then you help them with that next step, but little by little you back off to where you can just say, "I see you doing your pee pee dance," and they know the routine now. They'll go, "Oh, I have to pee," and they will move themselves to the potty.

We have to lay a trail of breadcrumbs, in a way, very similar to how you wrapped up. We're just using these little building blocks, these little steps along the way, and little by little, giving them the reins to it. You show them the whole process and then you start handing off the pieces of it bit by bit.

We do have the digital program, Passing the Baton, if you need a little bit more concentrated help with these steps. Maybe your child is not self dressing or doing clothing manipulation by themselves yet. You can have a little bit more of a deep dive into how to build each of those steps in that program.

And then finally, capitalize on the, "Me do it," phase. Your child, if he hasn't already, is likely wanting to do a lot for himself, so you can throw out that little piece of bait in a way. "I see you're doing your pee pee dance," and then give them maybe a challenge. You can say, "I wonder if you can find the toilet and go put your pee pee in there." You are giving them an observation and then saying, "I wonder if you can do this task on your own. Let's see."

You can also try to make the whole potty routine in general, a little bit more independent for them. Maybe they're waiting for you to initiate because they're just so used to you doing everything for them, or they don't quite have the confidence yet that they can do it, so you can do things like get a stool, get faucet extenders so that they can wash their hands independently. They sell these little duck bill looking things you can put on the end of the faucet so that the water comes out a little further so they can reach it easier. They even sell little handles, like a handle extender, so they can turn the water on and off.

Be prepared for a normal amount of playing with that once you install them. But you can even get a light switch extender, so it brings it down to their level, and so they can do every piece on their own. We took the handle spinners off the doors when we were potty training so the kids could open the door on their own, they could get on the stool and turn the light switch on. If you capitalize on this phase of development where he's really driven to do everything for himself, the more you hand over, the more you might see that he's really wanting to go to the potty on his own, to practice that and to show you that. And you can encourage him along the way like, "I noticed you turn the light off. Great job. Thank you for doing that." Whatever kind of encouragement you want to give them.

All right, so those are the tips I have for you today. Hopefully, that was helpful. Head on over to the blog and let us know: How did you teach your kiddo to get to the potty? What worked for you? Leave a comment, ask any questions you have, and that's godiaperfree.com/216. We'll see you there. Thanks for listening.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

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How did you teach your kiddo to get to the potty? What worked for you?I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!xx Andrea

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How in the world do you get anything done around the house AND and also potty your babe...and not end up with a giant mess on the floor?? Today I'm sharing super-actionable steps to simplify your EC and home-keeping routine (and experience more wins with both, in the process).

You will hear: * how to EC around chores, homeschooling, and working from home * super simple hacks for creating daily rhythm * making large household chores do-able * why a back-up is your chore-tackling friend * four easy ways to keep EC-ing through multitasking * the magic of set bedtimes for household rhythm * tips for tweaking your budget to make room for outside help

Links and other resources mentioned today: * Tiny Trainers * TinyUps (waterproof covers) * Easy Catch #1 * Easy Catch #2 * Easy Catch #3 * Easy Catch #4 * The Log App for iOS and Android * Care.com * Andrea’s own work-at-home hacks

Download the Transcript If you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: Multitasking house chores with EC

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Welcome to episode 184, multitasking house chores with EC. How in the world do we get anything done and also potty our babies without a giant mess on the floor? You can read the full written transcript over at godiaperfree.com/184 and see links to all the things I mentioned in today's show. And definitely stop by after listening to this episode to leave a comment and interact with me there. Enjoy the show.

Hey, there. Welcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast. I'm Andrea Olson, your host, author, and mom of five babies, all EC from birth, all out of diapers by walking.

This is an interesting one. Now, I want to talk about multitasking while doing EC with one of your children or your only child. So how do we multitask, specifically chores, with EC? So in my situation with my five children, I've always been the one who's had to do the chores. I've always been the one who's had to cook, clean, homeschool, run my business, too. I literally have been wearing a million hats. So I'm probably the best person you could ever learn multitasking from.

I would say from having five kids, I've incrementally gotten more and more organized over time and more and more of a routine with my children and with the way that I structure my days and my weeks. So one piece of advice I'd have for you here is how do we get all the house chores done and multitask and do all the things that need to be done as a housewife, a homemaker, a stay-at-home dad, whoever you are, and integrate EC with that. How do we maintain all of these things? So after having so many kids, I've definitely gotten more organized, and I encourage you to just pretend like you have that many kids as well. And it's amazing how you just get your you-know-what together.

The next thing I want to talk about with this is creating. So if you only have one child, which by the way is harder than having five, in my opinion. One is hard. Two is harder. Three is just mind-blowingly hard. And then four and five, for me and most women I know who have multiple children, like 10, 12 children even, are like, yeah, at the fourth child, it just got easier. So you need to artificially, if you only have one child, create a rhythm to your day. And I highly recommend doing this around nap times, bedtime, so sleep times, schedule those in, if you don't have a brand new newborn who needs responsive parenting and it's kind of more on demand, but even then, know their rhythm and then just kind of make a little timeline for yourself, and then feedings or meals. So we want to have a rhythm to the day. That will allow other things to be fit in around the baby's rhythm.

I was very adamant against scheduling anything in the very beginning with my first baby. With my second one, I started to have a bedtime. I started to have a nap time. I started to have, snacks at 10:00 and 2:00. Breakfast is at 8:00. Lunch is at noon. Dinner is at 5:00. Bedtime starts at 7:00, in bed, and sleep by 8:00. So you start to get more organized. So I invite you to create a rhythm to your day if you're not in that brand new newborn phase, which I totally get. There's a lot of responsive parenting that has to happen in that stage. And then to your weeks as well. So we want to schedule our chores. I used to do one load of laundry every other day. Now that I have five children, we do laundry every single day. Just one load a day helps us keep on top of it. And we don't just leave it in a basket when it's time to fold it. We actually take the time to fold it and then put it away.

So there is a method to do chores for a lot of people. Well, here's the first thing, if you declutter and you don't have a lot of things, then you don't have as many chores. So first and foremost, I highly encourage you to look up minimalism and decluttering on YouTube and try to figure out how to do that in your house. It will change the whole game. So if you have less stuff, there's less chores to do, and that includes kitchen stuff. You have duplicates of things, you're going to have to wash dishes more often. Better to have less. The other thing is we want to schedule our chores on a weekly basis as well. So maybe one day a week, you are dedicated to doing the floors. One day a week, you are dedicated to doing the toilets. One day a week, you have dedicated yourself to doing some other smaller bite-size thing, instead of trying to tackle the whole house at once. So that's definitely something that I've done in the past when I was doing all the chores by myself.

How to integrate this with EC, you want to use a backup. So when you are multitasking and doing chores, maybe in your day, you schedule in baby time, like I'm just playing with the baby at this time, or I'm going to wear the baby and go on a walk. Oh my gosh, exercise is so important, you guys. There are so many things that we can do with our babies and keep ourselves healthy as a new mom or dad. But when we're doing the chores, when we know, okay, this block is dedicated to, I am cleaning toilets right now, we want to put our baby in a backup so that we aren't stressed out about a miss. If you have them naked on the floor or naked on a towel or whatever, and they roll off of it and they pee all over the place, oh, you just made another chore for yourself. This is a bad idea. With EC, it is totally fine to use a diaper as a backup. It is fine to use Tiny Trainers with a pull up cover over top of it. I have some TinyUps cloth pull-up covers that I sell at Tiny Undies. You can do that kind of a backup, if you don't want to do a diaper.

Have them in something that you're going to get a louder signal from them usually, and you're also going to have cleaner floors and less chores that add up while you're trying to do the other chores. So that's definitely important, and there's no shame in that. And there's literally nobody watching except for yourself. And if you're judging yourself that hard, then we need to reset that. We need to recalibrate that because you deserve to not have judgment in your life like that.

I do want you to simplify your practice. I've said this so many times before. If you are multitasking house chores with EC and you are finding it to be overwhelming, that means that you either need to shrink down the number of chores you're doing, or you need to shrink down the amount of EC you're doing. So simplify back to the Four Easy Catches. Maybe we're just doing poops and wake-ups for this morning. Maybe every morning, we only do poops and wake-ups. Maybe we only do diaper changes for a couple of days. Whatever it is, pick something and stick with it. One to two of the easy catches is a really good way to simplify your easy practice.

The other thing I want you to do is while you're doing this multitasking your house chores or whatever it is, you can set a timer. So if you know your baby's natural timing, oh yeah, they go about every 20 minutes right now, wonderful, set a timer for that. If you don't know your baby's natural timing, you can use my app. It's brand new. It's called The Log. You can find it on godiaperfree.com/app. And you will be able to learn your baby's natural timing, the intervals which they go just with a touch of a button and start to track that. And then in the app itself, you can set a potty timer so that you can actually get a push notification from your phone that says, "Time to potty," based on your data that you found. So setting a chore, I mean, setting a timer during chores is a really good idea because I personally really like it. I get time-warped when I'm doing chores and it's really hard to keep track of the baby's timing at that time. And I used to just look at the clock. I'd be like, okay, add 20 minutes and then look at it, and then I'd forget.

Now, the next thing that might help you is if you can baby-wear during your chores. So put on your Ergo, put on your Moby Wrap, put on your K'tan, whatever it is, and put your baby in it and do your chores. You can have your baby on your back if they're big enough or if you have the right wrap. My ties are really wonderful, a very long rebozo. You can wear a baby on your back at a very, very early age. Find a baby carrier that works for you and doesn't hurt your back and do your chores with the baby on your back. The cool thing about this is that babies give a signal really strongly when they want to go potty. And you also want to potty them beforehand, then put them in so that maybe they'll fall asleep and then you'll get a lot more chores done with them on you.

And then during naptime or even at bedtime, set a bedtime. It's a very healthy thing to set an actual time when, "Hey, this is when we're going to go to sleep tonight. This is when I'm going to start your bedtime," based on when they naturally get tired anyway, but these would be really good times to do chores. I know that that's also an important time for you to rest as a new mom, but it's also a good time to get in maybe one chore that might take five or 10 minutes.

The last thing I want to say is if you are financially able to, get help. You can hire a nanny to help hold your baby so you can do chores. You can hire a nanny or a personal assistant to help you do the chores while you hold your baby. You can tag-team between each other. I think that's a really important thing. A lot of churches offer, as a ministry, a preschool that's like a mom's day out. So you have a little bit of time for you and for your house stuff to get done and without the guilt, they're being cared for by a very loving community. So you can check that, and they're really usually very low cost. It's amazing. The ones in my town are just amazing.

Now, you can also, if you have the resources, get a house cleaner. I was very resistant to this. I thought it was such a luxury. I thought it was very vain to have a house cleaner. I cleaned the toilet a couple weeks ago because it got clogged and I'm a single mom. I had to do it myself, and it was literally the first time I'd cleaned a toilet in three years. And I know that sounds fancy and that sounds wonderful, but we started having a house cleaner here when I was still married before it was comfortable, before I felt like we could afford it. And it literally changed everything. I had so much more time to be with my kids. And to be honest, if you have enough money or you can fiddle with your budget just a little bit to get a house cleaner, even just once a month or every other week, we have one come in every single week now, the piece and centeredness I get and the joy from having a clean house one day a week, even if it's just for five minutes, is worth every penny that I spend on this beautiful house cleaning service.

If you can do that, it could literally change everything. Get over the guilt right now. It is so helpful if you have the resources to do that. And again, your baby's going to grow so fast. Your baby is growing fast. So any time missed because you're doing a bunch of chores that you'd rather not be doing and you're not connecting with your baby, but you have the resource to do it, awesome. Or maybe this is a goal that you can set yourself. "Hey, hubs, we're going to get on this. We're going to figure out. No more Starbucks. We're going to get a French press at home and just make our own coffee, little espresso machine, make our own coffee, and that money's going to go to a house cleaning once a month so that I can have peace of mind and be with my baby more," because that is what they need right now. And then the other thing is you know there are fluff and fold services. There are laundry services. If you have a laundry issue, you know who you are, you've got laundry piled up so high. Every time you need clothes for anyone in the family, you're going to the laundry room and picking it out, if that is you and you're buried under a pile of laundry, you can totally gather all that up, give it to a laundry service, they will fluff and fold it for you, if you have the resources for that.

In my area, care.com has a lot of personal assistants. I found my personal assistant that I just got a couple weeks ago. Because I am divorced and because I was feeling very overwhelmed and because I have the resources, thank God, to be able to do this, I have somebody working with me a few hours a week and she's picking up groceries. If it's naptime, I cannot leave to go get groceries. I found her on Craigslist. There are people who really want to do this kind of work. She's an artist. She really needs the extra work. She's highly organized. She solves these problems that I'm having as a single mom. So those of you single moms out there who are listening, who have some kind of resource for that, what if there's a family member? If you don't ask for help, you're never going to give somebody the gift of being able to be of service to you. And we, human beings, want to be of service to each other. We want to feel useful. I love it when I feel used, not used in a bad way, but I am useful and used and I'm of service and I've helped somebody, that fills me up. Well, guess what? Most people are like that. So if you ask them, if you ask somebody, "Hey, hey stepmom, could you please come over two hours a week, just so I can get some chores done or just so I can take a nap?" That, your stepmom might love to do that. So please, please, please ask.

I hope that these practical tips have been very helpful for you. Multitasking house chores with EC. Remember to use a backup when you're doing the chores, try to baby-wear, try to do something that helps you not be stressed out about ECs, so you could also get all the homemaking things done. And I promise you, you will find a balance with it. Being a new mom is very hard. I've been there five times, but especially the first time, you literally forget how to do everything including cook.

This is a wonderful opportunity to recreate your life and to go, okay, which parts do I want to do myself? Which parts do I want to do with the baby? Which parts do I want to do when the baby is asleep? I highly recommend a rhythm and routine to your day and your weeks. Get organized. Pretend like you have five kids like I do, and you will be able to get a little bit better every single day. And before you know it, you're going to have some spare time to even take care of yourself, which we'll talk about soon as well. So that's all I have to say about that, how to balance EC with also your homemaking duties.

Please go over to godiaperfree.com/184 and leave a comment. How do you manage all the house chores while also doing EC? We would love to hear your tips and tricks. And if you have any comments or questions, you can add them there as well at godiaperfree.com/184. Thanks so much, and we'll see you next time.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free Podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

Watch the Video Version (new!) If you want to watch me record today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Thanks for Listening! To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
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How do YOU manage the house chores while also doing EC? Share your best tips or ask your questions, below! Please leave a comment below with your thoughts I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Attenzione: Come membro del programma di affiliazione Amazon guadagno una piccola commissione per i link in questa pagina.

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Do you have a hard time finding balance with all.the.things EC (or parenting??)? You want the best start for your baby, but you feel like if you have to catch (or miss) one more pee, you're gonna go crazy?

If this is you, STOP RIGHT NOW, and read my BEST ADVICE for recognizing out-of-balance signals plus two super-simple ways to restore balance in EC (and parenting!).

You will hear: * why finding balance in EC is hard in the Western world * how to recognize when you're out-of-balance * two super-simple (and rewarding!) action steps * why parents need to stop counting “catches vs. misses”! * where to go for extra support in EC or potty training

Links and other resources mentioned today: * Book Owners' Support Groups * Find a Coach for one-on-one support * Become a Coach! * Easy Catch #1 * Easy Catch #2 * Easy Catch #3 * Easy Catch #4

Download the Transcript If you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: When it's hard to find the right balance with EC

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Hey, welcome to episode 183, when it's hard to find the right balance with EC. You can read the full written transcript over at godiaperfree.com/183. And also leave comments over there, ask questions, get some help and see links to any of the things that I mentioned in today's show.

Hey there, welcome to the Go Diaper Free podcast. I'm Andrea Olson, your host, author and mom of five babies, all EC'ed from birth, all out of diapers by walking.

I don't know about you, but some of us have a hard time finding balance with everything as a new parent. If that's you, raise your hand, if you're not driving. This is something that's really, really common. Especially first time moms and dads, it's really hard to find a balance between all the things that are expected of you. Clearly, you want your baby to have the best start possible, right? You want your baby to be like, just firing out all cylinders, just like super healthy, vibrant, sovereign, really just amazingly vibrant with everything in life. We want the best for our babies, but it's really hard to do everything ourselves. It is actually impossible.

The first thing I want to talk about is when it's hard to find the right balance with EC and all the things with being a new mom or dad, and I do include you guys, you dad's, but like you're about 5% of the audience. So mostly I'm talking to moms, but if you're a dad listening, you also might have a hard time finding the right balance with EC because here's the thing we weren't just taught this as an intact culture. It wasn't passed down to us generationally. We literally have to learn this news from people like me, other families that are doing EC. We need to find guides and learn from them.

Which reminds me, we have a network of coaches, just go to godiaperfree.com and click on, I think it's under resources, find a coach. And you can find somebody in your local area who can help you with EC. And they have groups where we meet up all the time and help each other with EC. And if you don't have that, you can become a coach.

But back to the point here, finding the right balance is very hard. Here's the best advice I could give you for this, is just to simplify your EC practice right here and right now. I want you to acknowledge and know that you cannot be perfect as a new parent. You can't be perfect in anything in life. Clearly that's not the point of life, but you especially cannot be perfect in EC and in parenting. In fact, if you try to be perfect, it will backfire on you and you'll feel like “Andrea, I can't find the right balance. I am literally out of balance.” So that's a great clue that we need to let go a little bit. We need to remember that this is all learning. So EC is just a feedback loop, just like feeding, just like sleeping. It's just you responding to your baby's needs, what you know that they need, that you've researched on or what they're telling you that they need at the moment.

We are providing what they need and they're providing us with signals and body language and other things, and even intuitive feelings that they're transmitting to us through the ethers. We can get that woo woo with it. There is a connection happening, it is two directions and it is all learning. So if you have a miss, if you have a misguess, if you have a catch, all it is learning. It's just input and you're going to apply it to what you already know, and you're going to adjust your game. This is with sleeping, this is with feeding, this is with EC. It's all learning.

What I want you to do is just simplify things by choosing one or two of the Easy Catches. So poops, wake ups, diaper changes or transitions before and after car seat, high chair, whatever it is, bath. What I want you to do is pick one or two of those Four Easy Catches. Even if you've been trying everything, natural timing, signals, all the things. And I want you to just simplify just for a couple of weeks, commit with me right now. Pinky promise, I'm going to simplify. I'm going to simplify and then do it. When you simplify, you're going to find a better balance, probably what you are doing right now is too much. You're trying too hard. And we want to reel that in, reign that in and just focus on a couple things.

The other thing I want to say is if you're feeling a little out of balance with EC or potty training, for that matter, I want you to focus on connection with your child. Not on EC, not on the potty, not on potty training. We still have a diffuse awareness, especially we women. We have this very special talent. Men are more, a little more single focused because of the hunting aspect of them and we're gatherers. We are more able to have a diffuse awareness about things that are going on while also doing other things. So we're multitaskers. We want to focus on connection with our baby instead of focusing on EC, which flips the script and helps simplify things as well, bringing things back into balance.

And the other thing I can say is please stop counting how many catches and how many misses you've had today. If that is you, raise your hand. If you count your miss to catch rate, you are going to feel completely defeated at times. And it is not going to be good. Just let that go. There's nobody keeping track except for yourself. So if you stop, that takes all the pressure off. So I want you to really think about that today.

Next thing I want you to do, if you're having a hard time finding balance with EC is to find support. So in my Book, it comes with our community forum that is run by the coaches that I've personally hand trained. I have trained them and they are serving our communities who own the book on our private off Facebook network. What I want you to do is, if you're feeling out of balance, to go there and I've trained them in how to counsel you guys on mindset. Mindset is so important during EC and potty training. So go get support there if you have my book and if you don't have my book, definitely go get. It comes with lifetime support at this moment.

And then I really want you to zoom out, go back to the whole big picture. You are raising a human. You have been gifted this human by God, the universe, creator, whatever you want to call it. And this human is in your care. And it is not only a peeing and pooping machine. And I say that kind of funny, but at times I felt like that with my kids. I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm so focused on EC that I'm missing the big picture. We want to zoom out and treat EC just like we treat feeding, just like we treat sleeping, just like we treat keeping our babies warm. It is just literally another part of the whole process.

Here's the last thing I want to talk to you about, it's hard to find the right balance with EC and potty training. If it feels like too much, then it is. Take it from me, five kids later, if it feels like I'm taking on too much, like I'm doing too many things or EC, the way I'm doing it right now is just too much. That means it is. So it's time to simplify, time to go back to that one or two easy catches and time to really just ground into the connection with the baby.

So hopefully that was helpful in helping you guys find the right balance with EC and potty training. So now I would love to hear from you, how have you been able to find the right balance with EC or are you off balance and need some support? Please go over to the show notes at godiaperfree.com/183 and leave your comments or questions over there. I love to interact with you over on the blog. And also, we'll see you next time. Please subscribe. And I would love to get a positive review from you if you are loving this podcast. Please leave that over at godiaperfree.com/itunes anytime. We'll see you next time.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

Watch the Video Version (new!) If you want to watch me record today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Thanks for Listening! To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

How have you been able to find the right balance with EC? Do you need some support to find balance? Please leave a comment below with your thoughts I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Attenzione: Come membro del programma di affiliazione Amazon guadagno una piccola commissione per i link in questa pagina.

The post When it’s hard to find the right balance with EC appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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What do you do when Baby plays with her potty but doesn’t sit on it? Do you take the potty away? Do you let Baby play with it while anxiously hovering to ensure she plays “correctly”? Do you just give up on the whole idea of Baby pottying independently? Hear four solutions to the potty play dilemma plus tips for using potty play to teach independence and make pottying more convenient for parents, too!

You will hear: * common misconceptions about baby playing with the potty * four solutions to the potty play dilemma * how to teach potty skills to build independence * tips for making potty time more convenient for parents * what banging on the potty could signal * two final tips in case all else “fails” * where to put your mini potty when you're not using it in the house

Links and other resources mentioned today: * Getting Back on Track Podcast * Getting Back on Track Minicourse * Ginsey Seat Reducer * Mini Potty * The Log App iOS and Android * Won't Sit Podcast

Download the Transcript If you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: Baby plays with potty and doesn't sit on it

Read the full written transcript Expand

All right today, it's episode 182: baby plays with potty and doesn't sit on it. Please visit the show notes at godiaperfree.com/182 for the full written transcript and any links to anything that I mentioned in today's show. Here goes.

Hey there, welcome to the Go Diaper Free podcast. I'm Andrea Olson, your host author, and mom of five babies, all easy from birth, all out of diapers by walking.

The first thing I want to talk about is, what do we do when our baby plays with the potty and won't sit on it? So some people will put the potty completely away. Some people will just worry that everything's gone to you-know-what in a handbasket and freak out. Some people will just let their child play with a potty, but be really uncertain about it, and the baby really picks up on that, or the toddler. So this could be for Potty Training or EC. What do we do in this situation? Are there any ways to make the best of a baby playing with a potty? And can we actually turn this around to our benefit? So that's what we're going to talk about first today.

The first thing I want to say about this is if the baby plays with the toilet, it's totally fine. The reason I say this is because some people in the potty training expert world will tell you not to leave the potty out, will tell you not to let your baby play with the potty, and will tell you that these are all signs of disaster.

What I want to tell you is that, when we're dealing with 0 to 18 month babies, this is simply not true. They haven't ingrained a pattern any which way with anything yet. And usually they're not very used to diapers. And with EC, we're trying to expose them to the potty, right? So with all that said, you can't really screw this up. So I just wanted you to know right off hand, like how many of you feel like you're screwing this up every day? Maybe there's something today that you feel like you've totally screwed up and all is lost.

I have to tell you from the perspective of five babies and also helping hundreds of thousands of other babies through their parents, that this is not the case. You cannot screw it up. One little tiny thing is not going to screw everything up. And even if things have gone totally off track, I can completely help you with that. If you haven't seen my Getting Back On Track MiniCourse or my Getting Back On Track Podcast, definitely look at that if that's you.

Back to the topic at hand, the baby plays with a potty and doesn't sit on it. What do we do? Well, the first thing we could do is make sure that we're using the right receptacle, so if they're not using the potty actually for going to the bathroom and you know they need to go, which is a separate issue from "I have no idea when they need to go and they won't go on the potty because I don't know what I'm doing." That's different. If it's just the receptacle, then we want to change that pretty simple, right?

If they're resisting or not just not using the Mini Potty, we want to start using the big toilet, and we want to use the big toilet with a toilet seat reducer on it. So what that looks like is just stop using the Mini Potty, put it away. You can even put it in a cabinet and start using a reducer like the Ginsey Reducer. The Ginsey Reducer is the one that I like the most. It's got characters on it. It's got good handles. It's got a really high splash guard. It's only like $11. You really can't go wrong. So what you want to do is start using that instead of the Mini Potty if the Mini Potty is causing massive issues.

The second thing is you want to let your baby play with a potty. So I know this sounds weird, but babies play with everything. That's their developmental task. I am a baby. I play with everything. In fact, I put everything in my mouth up to a certain age. I grasp everything. I'm constantly learning from my environment. So we don't really want to impede that. We want to allow them to play with their environment in a way that's got boundaries, that's got good balance to it, if that makes sense. So what we want to do is allow them to play with it as long as we're not getting pee and poop everywhere. Obviously, if that happens, we want to change some things. And we'll talk about that in a second.

The next thing we want to do is give them structured time to play with their potty. So if you have... Where is my Mini Potty? Oh, here it is. Let me grab it for you guys. If you're just listening to this, you have no idea what I'm talking about, but I have the Mini Potty from Tiny Undies here. And this is a super short potty that is meant to be used anywhere from like once they have neck control, you can hold a newborn baby over it. But usually when they have neck control around eight weeks old, you can hold them onto it. When they're sitting independently, especially at six months, great. And all the way up to maybe a small two year old can use this potty, and also older kids. Heck I even use it to be honest. Sometimes we're on a road trip. I will whip out this Mini Potty and use it myself if we don't have a clean place to stop and go to the bathroom. Just admitting it. Maybe you're one of those as well. But anyway, this Mini Potty is really good because it's the size that they need to be able to sit independently and that's going to help unblock anything. So if you don't have one of these, you can get it at Tinyundies.com or Amazon today.

Now with this, what we want to do is help them practice dumping the potty outside with water in it. I discovered this accidentally with Twila one day, my youngest. She was playing with a bucket of water and pouring it into the potty and then dumping the potty. And then another day the potty was full of rain water outside. We have them everywhere and she was practicing dumping it and she sort of dumps it towards herself. So I was helping her learn how to dump it away from herself. So I want you guys to give your baby constructive time to play with the potty, the way it was intended to use.

If they're not going pee on it, instead of that, we're going to have them practice like what is a real life application with this object? What is it really for? We're not going to fill it with, I don't know of a good example, but we're not going to put a bunch of play dough in it and mix things in the potty. We're not going to use it for something it's not intended for. If they're playing with it, they're exploring it. They're getting to know it. And the best thing we can do is to give them a real life application, because that's what they deserve. They're like actually trying to figure out how this thing works. So we want to fill it with water, do this outside somewhere where it's okay for them to dump it all over the place, and let them pour it into something, maybe a five gallon bucket so it looks like they're practicing, pouring it into the toilet. And say, "Oh, are you pouring the peepee into that?" And if while doing this, weather appropriate, they're outside and without pants on. Guess what? You can have them just practicing with the water and they might even sit on it and use it for what it's intended for. So do you follow my line of thought here? That's a way to play with a potty in a way that actually teaches something. So we can do that as well.

Another thing I want to say is, you can keep the potty in the living space. I know a lot of potty training experts say you shouldn't. I am an easy expert, and I say you should, because it should be convenient. And remember that anytime a baby reaches over for that potty, it could possibly be a signal. If it's not totally new and they've been around this potty their whole life, if they crawl over to it or walk over to it and touch it might be a signal that they need to go. So you can say, "Hey, all right, ready? Let's sit down on it." Put it up against their calves, have them sit. That's a way to really teach them during the moment. This is actually probably a signal. When they go to the potty and touch it, when they go to the big toilet and touch it, when they go to the door and bang on it to go outside, those are all signals as our babies become more mobile, that they need to go to the bathroom and we can take advantage of that.

And the next thing I want to say about this, when the baby plays with potty and won't sit on it, like they don't use it for what it's intended for, we want to move it to the bathroom, if it's an issue. So if this is causing a problem and just all your intuition is firing saying, "No, no, no, no, no, this does not feel right. This is not being used appropriately." Then maybe we need to move it into the bathroom so that we, and they know, and everybody knows, that this is a potty. This is for pee and poop. Okay? So we'll move into the bathroom and just keep it there. The reason I say to keep it in your living space is because it's also an opportunity to share signals about, "Hey, I need to go." And it's convenient. Especially if your bathroom is on another level of your house, you're going to want to have a Mini Potty in your space. But if it's a problem, it's a problem. So move it.

And then I want you to really only put them on the potty when they need to go. And I know a lot of you struggle with this. If you have my Book, go through it from the very beginning, it starts with a how-to and learn exactly when your baby needs to go. Those are the four roads to potty time, baby signals or peepee dance, which is usually fussiness or crying. Babies' natural timing, which you can do by logging it. I have a new app called The Log. It's a potty timer and an app where you can do observation right on your phone, Android or iPhone. You can go to godiaperfree.com/app for that. Brand new. You can figure out their natural timing. You can do transition times, anytime before and after getting into something they're going to be in for a while, so they'll be more comfortable. And you can do it at every diaper change, at every poop, every wake up. There are things there, I call them trigger times lately. When this thing happens, I'm going to take my baby to the potty.

Now, what I want you to do is try to only use that potty, only set them on the potty when it is actually time to go. And if they're just not wanting to sit, I have a whole podcast on Won't Sit, just look that up on my blog. If they just don't want to sit, then it's time to move to the big toilet because they are very aware very early on that you go to the big toilet and they don't. And sometimes it's a matter of, "Hey, I just feel like this is a toy. And I just want to go on the big toilet." Keep your Mini Potty and keep it in the minivan or the car or whatever, because you're going to need it on outings if you don't use it at home.

And then the last thing I want to say about this is, yeah, we've talked about practice. We're talking about all these things. When they do signal, if we're not using the Mini Potty, it's okay. If they signal or you know it's time for them to go to the potty, there was a whole study done on this particular phenomenon where you're training them by bringing them over to the Mini Potty, having them touch it. And then if you sit them on it and they go in it, great. That's the whole cycle. If you have them go over there and touch it, then bring them to the big toilet. And they go to the potty, they're going to associate that Mini Potty with the going to the bathroom thing. So I'll try to post a link to that as well. That will show you this study. So you can see how some people train by touch. So super interesting, right? Like you never know what you can do with a Mini Potty.

The most important thing I can leave you with today on this particular topic is to do practice time with it in a way that models exactly how they would actually be using it in real life, because that's going to be the most valuable. And if it's a problem, it's a problem. And if it's time to change receptacles, great. You bought this potty. It costs X amount of money. It's not a waste. We're going to use it on outings. When you arrive somewhere, potty them in the Mini Potty, take them in the place, take them out of the place, potty them in the Mini Potty. Just keep it in your car. So nothing is lost.

So that is all I have to say about what to do when a baby plays with the potty and won't sit on it, won't use it. They're just playing with it. They just think of it as a toy. It all feels like it's lost. There are some solutions for you. I hope this was helpful.

Thank you so much for listening. Again, you can go to the show notes at godiaperfree.com/182, read the full transcript, see all the links to all the things and let me know. What do you do when your baby plays with a potty? How have you remedied that? How do you get them to sit on it? All the things, ask questions, whatever you need over at godiaperree.com/182. Thanks so much. We'll see you next time.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

Watch the Video Version (new!) If you want to watch me record today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Thanks for Listening! To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

What do you do when your baby plays with the potty? Please leave a comment below with your thoughts I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Attenzione: Come membro del programma di affiliazione Amazon guadagno una piccola commissione per i link in questa pagina.

The post Baby plays with potty and doesn’t sit on it appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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Have you wanted to check out homeschooling but wondered how to fit “all the things” into your already busy days? Are you worried you won't be able to juggle multiple kids, or toddlers in the mix? Need help navigating your state's regulations (or even where to find them?)? You do NOT want to miss this JAM-PACKED interview!!

Peggy and I share how ANYONE, ANYWHERE can start giving their child/ren the gift of an empowering, engaging, life-long learning experience RIGHT NOW. (This is the SAME method I use with my kids, while also running three businesses!) And yes, we answer the socialization question!

PLEASE NOTE: I staunchly believe that parents are the best people to decide what's in their own childrens' best interests. Peggy (and yours truly!) touch quite a bit on FREEDOM in this episode, including how that relates to all the stuff that's been a huge part of everyone's life, lately. If those topics aren't your cup of tea, feel free to skip listening to the episode and jump right to the resource section for all the links homeschooling, curriculum, focus time, and work-from-home! No hard feelings, no judgment.

You will hear: * Peggy's fire for helping parents start homeschooling * Andrea's story of homeschooling her 5 kids * why this topic is so important, even if your child is just an infant! * how EC empowered Andrea to homeschool * homeschooling's gift of independence and confidence * how marketing, from diapers to other products, influences our choices for our children * how EC (and freeschooling!) dissolves emotional distress, empowers children and frees parents * what steps to take to form your own community so you don't feel alone * why using a curriculum is totally ok, even if you're freeschooling * what is a Morning Basket, and why it is the most awesome piece of your day * how to use Focus Time to maximize your efforts while minimizing “schooling” time * why this is not about stuffing your day with “things to do” (and how to combat that mindtrap) * how to interpret parent overwhelm and child resistance and pivot for success! * the big socialization question * how to slow down and be present before the days fly by * ...and so many resources for your toolkit!

Links and other resources mentioned today: * Peggy Hall (website) * Contact Andrea for freedom connection in NC (or start your own group!!) * Freedom Learning * Shope Creek School (now called Appalachian Academy of Therapeutic Arts) * The Parenting Junkie * Moving Beyond the Page * Morning Basket (Pam Barnhill) * Classical Conversations * Tuttle Twins * HSDLA for states’ homeschooling regulations * Great Homeschool Conventions * MamaWorx * Dave Ramsey

Download the Transcript If you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: Freedom Schooling: An interview by Peggy Hall with Andrea Olson

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Hey, you guys. Welcome back. Last week we had an interview with Melissa Ambrosini. It was amazing. Check it out, episode 180, if you missed it. And this week I am going to bring to you the interview that I did with Ms Peggy Hall. She is the woman behind thehealthyamerican.org. And she is on fire about helping parents start homeschooling. She is an amazing freedom fighter. I turned to her for help with so many things. She wants to teach everybody about what she calls freedom schooling. I wrote in and I told her what we’re doing in my homeschool with my five children. She was so inspired she had me on your YouTube channel last year to share my story with her audience.

I know a lot of you are interested in homeschooling or are looking into it and could benefit from this interview. Now, I'm going to warn you. We talk about more than just homeschooling. In case you don't know me, I am a staunch freedom fighter. I absolutely think that without our freedom we have nothing else. Freedom to choose our paths in life, especially with our babies, is so important to me. Every decision I make for my kids is based on what I think, as their mother, is in their best interest. I believe that each of us were born with that inside of us. We were given these children, we have what we need to handle this, and we can guide their lives in the way that we feel best.

That being said, this interview reveals a few parts of myself (that I’m not ashamed to share!) that you may or may not have known before. If you’d rather just listen to EC topics, that's fine! Feel free to skip this episode. But, for those of you who want to take control of your child's education, (even if they're just still a baby), or you want a feel for what it's like homeschooling multiple children, or what it's like to freedom school (which is a type of homeschooling), you’ll learn all about it in this episode. At any point after this, you can reach out to Peggy Hall for more information on freedom schooling through her website, thehealthyamerican.org.

The show notes (the full transcript) will be posted over at godiaperfree.com/181. I hope you enjoy and learn a lot from this interview! If you have any questions about the way that I homeschool, please put those in the comments. Again, if any of this stuff rubs you the wrong way, I'm sorry. But I also feel compelled to share this because of the state of the world we're in. Our children are the most important piece of this puzzle, and we parents have the right to raise them according to what we believe is in their best interests. Your choice about your child is your decision and I honor you for that. There is no judgment! All I ask is the same from you. Take what you can from this interview and be inspired. If you're going to homeschool, take some notes from what I’ve learned and share in the interview today. Okay, let's get started!

Hey, there. Welcome to the Go Diaper Free podcast. I'm Andrea Olson, your host, author, and mom of five babies, all EC from birth, all out of diapers by walking.

Peggy Hall:

Welcome, everyone. This is Peggy Hall from thehealthyamerican.org. I'm here Tuesdays and Thursdays at three o'clock California time for my Life Stream. You've heard of a “live stream”; this is a Life Stream because we talk about everything related to your life and keeping it healthy. I have Andrea Olson with me today. She is a healthy American, and she’s the creator of a business called Go Diaper Free. Andrea, welcome.

Andrea Olson:

Thank you, Peggy. I'm a huge fan. It's an honor to be here and speak with your group today.

Peggy Hall:

Tell me about your business.

Andrea Olson:

I have five children ages 2 to 10 - five over an 8-year span. Some might call me nuts, but I love that. They're amazing. They are so independent. They are so prepared for the world already. It is literally because of the way I started them off. There are all these false studies saying children need to “wait for readiness,” and our potty training age has consequently increased from 18 months old in 1957 to an average of three years now.

Peggy Hall:

What!

Andrea Olson:

I know. It's nuts. All because of “scientific studies” from experts who work for Pampers and other places that benefit from our prolonged usage of diapers.

Peggy Hall:

“Let's sell more diapers!”

Andrea Olson:

Yes.

Peggy Hall:

Diapers are expensive. Right?

Andrea Olson:

Yes, they're very expensive. I've saved about $10,000 by getting all my kids out of diapers by 1 year old, by walking. None of them have really pooped in their diapers since they were born, because we do something called Elimination Communication. We just listen and respond to their cues. All mammals are born telling us when they need to go to the bathroom, telling us when they need to eat, telling us when they need to sleep. You just have to figure it out. That’s what I teach. It’s amazing. I've written four books on the topic. My kids never needed potty training. I've saved tons of money. I've also saved the environment - we haven't landfilled all those diapers that never biodegrade. In that way, I'm a freedom fighter for babies. This is their health freedom, and we're teaching it from the very beginning when we do EC with them. That's one of my businesses.

Peggy Hall:

“EC” is Elimination Communication?

Andrea Olson:

Elimination Communication, yes.

Peggy Hall:

I love it.

Andrea Olson:

EC is so much easier than some people think. Babies are built perfectly, they come out perfectly, knowing that they need to go and communicating that to us parents. It's just awesome to experience. It's freedom for parents. I've never had two in diapers and I've had five kids within eight years.

Peggy Hall:

You know what I am hearing, Andrea, is all of the emotional distress is also dissolved. I have some friends who are young parents. I hear about their struggles and it just breaks my heart, because this miscommunication is stressful on a child. That’s where my heart really goes. The fact is, like you say, they're born knowing what to do. We just need to tune into those cues. You're saving money, you're saving the environment, you're saving the stress, the strain. It also seems like the children are very empowered and there's a sense of dignity in conducting themselves. I'm trying to put this delicately. Can you elaborate on the dignity part?

Andrea Olson:

Yes. EC gives them the gift of their hygiene. This is why they cry and cry and cry and you'll say, "Oh my gosh, what do you want? Do you want some more breast milk? Do you want to be held? Do you want to go to sleep? I don't know!" Because we're new moms, we don't know. Then we figure out, "Oh, you're wet or dirty, that's why you were crying." No, they were crying for you to take the diaper off so that they could be listened to, and go outside the diaper, be free of soiling themselves. We have completely lost touch with our children’s elimination cues because of the global marketing of the diaper. And it's been this huge, another big thing that's based on false science that we're starting to unlearn, which is great. It's really hard to go up against these big money corporations, but we’re starting to unlearn the false science, which is great.

Now parents can say, "Wow, I really want an independent, empowered child with their dignity intact who never is forced to go to the bathroom on themselves because they aren't born wanting to do that." It’s amazing how fast you can poop-train a baby. Within hours. Within days. It is so easy.

Peggy Hall:

Where can everybody find out about this? I don't even have little kids and I want to do it. I want to work with my dog and cat. I’ve got to do it with my dog!

Andrea Olson:

I'm way worse with dogs and cats. I've got two puppies right now and I'm always saying, "Stop peeing on my carpet." You can find more information on my website, weekly podcast, YouTube, Facebook, or Instagram. My website is godiaperfree.com. If you want to look into it but feel like, "Oh my gosh, I could never do that," just know a lot of people do it part-time and it's still amazing. It helps you be a better parent, too. Which brings us to the long-term. We're going to put really good humans into the world who start off on the right foot. I’m not saying if you didn't do this, you're a bad parent or your kids are going to fail, but there are so many advantages to just having the keys to your own castle. Your child’s body sovereignty starts right from birth.

Peggy Hall:

Let's take our conversation to homeschooling. Now, you’re so busy, Andrea, with all your businesses. And you’re doing this! I want to go back to the ages of your kids. Parents who are listening, there are remedies for everything. I understand. I've been a teacher for over 30 years in higher education, a lot of K-12 professional development. I do not recommend a child being in public school, not only because of the curriculum, but it actually holds the kids back. I want to help empower parents to know that regardless of their situation, whether they have special needs kids, whether they've never taught, whether they're divorced, single, a working parent, “school” does not have to be 8 to 5 while you're at work.

There're so many other remedies and opportunities. I'll give a little plug here to thehealthyamerican.org, hop over to “Freedom Learning” where we are about to launch an entire certificate program for people who want to run schools or run groups, or just want to learn, themselves. Many people now are struggling in the educational realm. So, take it away, Andrea. Give us the A to Z, how you got started, how the kids are doing, and some of your ideas. I looked at some, it just looks so fun!

Andrea Olson:

It is so much fun. It wasn't fun, though, when I first tried it before kindergarten. In 2019, I tried for a month to homeschool because I met a mother of 10 who did it and ran her puppy breeding business. I thought, "Oh my gosh, if you can do this, I can do this." But I couldn't. I tried to bring school to home and it backfired. At this point let me mention, if you're in my area, there is a school forming called Shope Creek School (now called Appalachian Academy of Therapeutic Arts). They do what I do in my homeschool, but with structured grades and hired teachers. So not only is there a farmer's market, there's also a school that we are building.

Peggy Hall:

I'm excited.

Andrea Olson:

I know. It's so amazing. This is what we've always wanted. In our Go Diaper Free community, I have a lot of homeschooling moms. They always said, "Oh, I assumed you homeschooled, too. What? You don't? You send your kids to public school?" I did. I sent my daughter to kindergarten for six months, then the lockdowns happened. We completely shut down, they switched to virtual school, and gave my daughter an iPad for kindergarten. I said, “No way!” We do not do screen time, except once a week for a movie. This iPad was like the moth to the flame. All my kids were going nuts. So I said to the school, "Hey, I want worksheets instead." They handed me a stack of worksheets, no instructions.

That was the tipping point. I thought, "Okay, I have a curriculum that I bought and tried at the beginning of the year, I'm going to figure out how to do this efficiently and effectively, which is how I operate my businesses. I only work 15 hours a week. I do have a babysitter while I work. Maybe I can figure this out." So I took my friend Avital's course, it's called Focus Time. It's at theparentingjunkie.com. It is inexpensive. It's a great compliment to homeschooling. I took your course too, because that came a little later and your Freedom Learning was amazingly helpful. Your webinar gave me so much permission that I needed to hear to do the things I wanted to do. Avital's course basically taught me that I could homeschool in 30 minutes a day per kid, at the most. Not four hours per kid! I was hooked.

My kids are ages, two, four, five and a half, seven and ten. My oldest is from a previous relationship. He is utilizing virtual school because he has Asperger’s and this method actually works really well for him. He’s thriving in his method, the rest of us utilize the garage I transformed into my studio and my work office. Work, ecstatic dance and now a homeschool space. I did buy a curriculum because I just needed some guidance. I think anybody starting off, it's a good idea to have something to guide you. As you go, you can empower yourself. We use Moving Beyond the Page. It's literature-based, and it's amazing. It includes all the manipulatives I needed and all the literature. I didn't have to buy a single other thing. (I also opted for their payment plan.)

So, back to our story. I made this happen. I got my curriculum. And then, in the mornings, I committed to something called Morning Basket time. I learned this from Pam Barnhill. I’m part of her Your Morning Basket membership and gives me ideas of what I can do. Eventually, I'll come up with my own ideas because I'm starting to get the hang of this. For us, a Morning Basket looks like: I light a candle at the table, we read or recite a poem, do copy work, and we say a prayer. We do singing lessons, too. I'll put on a singing lesson and we'll be like, "oo oo oo," all through breakfast. It sets us off on a beautiful pace for the day.

The other part of my homeschool that's really important is “free play.” We live on an acre with chickens, puppies and gardens. The kids get to do whatever they want. Yes, it’s safe out there; it’s fenced. I have found the more autonomy they get, the less they fight. They start to create. They’ve built all these exquisite fairy houses on their own. They'll say, "Hey, can we use the hot glue gun?" "Sure." They grab it and make amazing fairy houses.

Peggy Hall:

Play with your kids!

Andrea Olson:

Yes. I actually get to play with my children and not have to send them away all day. In the mornings, now, when we're not even rolling out of bed and the bus is flying by, I’m thinking, "Oh thank God, I don't have to do that anymore." So, back to our day. We do Morning Basket with the whole group and then we do Focus Time. I usually have a babysitter, but I'm about to not have a babysitter during this time. I'm going to utilize snack time, strap that two-year-old in a high chair, give her something that takes a long time to eat, maybe something messy. I'm going to focus on my daughter's language arts and math. Maybe we'll sew. We're making a quilt for her bed, together. It's so amazing I get to do this with her. After time with her, I go to my next one. Right now I have a first grader and a kindergartner. My kindergartner just wants to learn how to read. So we just do that. Now my four-year-old wants to be part of things and learn how to read, too! So I said, "Well, okay then." So we just started him on that.

After Focus Time, we'll do whatever I want to do. I’ll say to myself, “What would be fun to do with my kids?” Imagine the freedom to do that. “Let's watercolor today. Let's sit underneath the tree and get out the paints and just have fun. Let's just go on a hike.” We're in the Blue Ridge Mountains. “Let's go on a hike, bring a cooler full of sandwiches and just go exploring.” There's so much here. There's so many trails, even just down the road. “Let's just do that. Or let's go to Biltmore Estate and check out the animals and hang out and hike or whatever.” I do read-alouds. I’m reading the Chronicles of Narnia; we're on book three, already. These are little, little kids and they love it. We went to South Carolina and watched a theatrical production of Prince Caspian. I cried in the middle, because it was “normal.” The most amazing production by this - It's usually the Christian groups too that are totally-

Peggy Hall:

No masks.

Andrea Olson:

No masks.

Peggy Hall:

Isn't that amazing? You're like, "Oh, God!" I know I sobbed at Christmas. I went to a Christmas performance. I sobbed.

Andrea Olson:

Yep. I was sobbing.

Peggy Hall:

Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

It was also-

Peggy Hall:

I just love it.

Andrea Olson:

...at the Logos Theater in Taylors, South Carolina. It's was an amazing, world-class experience. So, we read the book, we saw the play, we watched the movie. I follow what feels right at the time or what my kids are interested in learning about. In that way we kind of have this little “unschooling” twist, but I have my core curriculum during Focus Time as a guide. In two and a half hours, I’m done.

In the afternoon when the baby's asleep, we do book baskets. They get a basket filled with multiple kinds of books and go to a special, quiet place and read (or look through picture books) for an hour. If you're working from home, this is a great way to get some quiet time to work, while teaching them to be independent.

They have to learn that skill. And we as parents love that! Every Tuesday, we go to Classical Conversations. (Side confession: we are terrible about practicing our “homework” during the week, but we still have a great time!) Classical Conversations is a co-op with thousands of groups across the world. They meet in person and are really supportive. I've made lots of mom friends through the group. The kids learn memorization utilizing the classical trivium. Once a week they come together with other kids and present what they’re learning, like a show and tell. They learn so many valuable skills through that. Having an in-person group for socialization has really been a lifesaver for me! I don't know how I would've done this last year with all of my kids' friends saying, oh, they can't hang out anymore until this is all over.

And I'm like, "Well, that's going to be never." So we had to make new friends. And Classical Conversations is amazing, even with not practicing regularly throughout the week. What I love is the time to be with other people who are on the same page.

I also have the kids cook and clean and just do the things that come along with life. My seven-year-old daughter can make lunch all by herself. The kids get paid for jobs around the house. This teaches them money skills. We had extra eggs from our chickens, so my kids sold 10 dozen eggs on Friday and got to keep the cash. They’re learning entrepreneurship.

It’s not like I'm trying to stuff our days with all these things I'm sharing; it's that we are literally living life together. I’m giving them the “basics,” (what you need to learn in kindergarten, first grade, etc), but we're living life together. Because of that, we are closer. We started out close because of EC. I really feel like it was significant bonding, between breastfeeding, EC, all the early parenting choices.

After all that nurturing, why would I want to just shove my kids off to school? It doesn’t even make sense, now that I have experienced another way. I am meant to be their mother. I am the one in whose care God placed these children. They are my responsibility to mold and put into the world.

Another thing I want to add is, we utilize the Tuttle Twins. I really want to teach my children how to love America, the real America. How to understand the Constitution, our medical rights, freedom, liberty. We talk about all this together. I’m not trying to brag that “I'm the best mom in the world.” I have my moments where I just lie on the floor and let them crawl on me because I can't do another minute of “stuff.” But, I have support and I've found a way to do this, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I've learned that it's just like your webinar says, you don't have to “do everything.” Kids want to learn the basics - when they’re not pressured. When they see you, the mom, wanting to learn, they go, "Whoa, I want to learn that, too." We’re going to learn to sing. I'm learning guitar. This is so much fun! Even when we don't “check all the boxes” at the end of the day, I'm just say, "I will write a list of the things we did and check that off."

Peggy Hall:

I love it.

Andrea Olson:

We do it this way because we are living life, together. It is that simple, and such a relief. Whatever you feel is right for your kids, whether it's something like this or something else, just try it. It’s okay. There's no wrong step in all of this. I believe this from the bottom of my heart.

Peggy Hall:

That is so awesome. I just love it, Andrea. I'm so excited. I want to come to your homeschool there.

Andrea Olson:

You're welcome to!

Peggy Hall:

When people hear the word homeschool, they think that it's going to be mom or dad sitting at a desk with a textbook open teaching their kids arithmetic. And that might be a part of it if that's how you want to do it. But I wrote some notes as you were talking. You said, we are living life together.

Andrea Olson:

Yes.

Peggy Hall:

You’re designed to do that, you're made to do that. It doesn't make sense that you've nurtured your kids in the early days [and then you send them away all day]. It's heartbreaking to me when parents have children and then even when they’re infants, they go into daycare. I would be at parks and see little babies, and I’d look at the caregivers and go, “Oh, wow. It looks like they must have had children later in life.” Then I’d realize, oh, that's not their children. That’s their grandchildren. Their parents will say, "Well, I have to work." Money, time obligations.

The beautiful thing about homeschooling is there's a remedy for everyone. I call it “freedom learning” just to remove that barrier for a parent thinking, "I need to teach my kids." It's the opposite. The kids are teaching you. I love the fairy houses your kids did. That was their own prompting. They had that free time. You're there to make sure that they're safe and clean and, well, maybe not even clean.

Andrea Olson:

Usually not.

Peggy Hall:

You're parenting, but the learning is really directed from the child's exploration and discovery. And then you made a list of these things that you've been doing. Sewing, cooking, gardening, painting, hiking, cleaning, cooking, all these are life skills. Even your two- and four-year-old could come up with an idea. If you were to say, what are we really learning here? They can tell you, "I'm going to design a new broom, a more efficient broom." Let's do that, kids. If you could design some type of house cleaning implement, what would it be? And maybe they can design it and draw it. Maybe they'll even market it and sell it as some kind of battery operated broom that picks up all the pet hair. Their imagination is going to run with it.

Andrea Olson:

Yes.

Peggy Hall:

Every single thing you do is a lesson. Take cooking, for instance. I've talked about this before. You can talk about nutrition and calories, do an inventory of the pantry, and just a shopping expedition comparing and utilizing critical thinking about “which one should we buy?” Then there’s entrepreneurship. Why don't we start a restaurant? What would it be called? These can be staged as play, but they're actually learning opportunities. The point is that everything in life is learning. One of my monikers used to be “simply real life learning.” That's all it is. You and I are learning right now in this conversation. I'm learning from you. It never stops.

We as parents want to remove the restrictions that are imposed on kids in a public and private school. Even in many private schools, although they may have more of what you're looking for, the kids are still being subjected to the bell ringing, criticism, comparison, grading and standardized tests. Also “what am I going to wear to school today?” and “that kid bullied me.” I'm not saying kids shouldn't live in the real world, but they are going to be gaining assurance, confidence, competence and self worth by learning on their own with a self-directed approach. Yes, I think all these things you mentioned are absolutely critical and important.

Children learn in different ways. I'm the kind of person that actually liked doing the worksheets, because I like to fill in the blank. Not that it actually helped me learn, but there was satisfaction in checking something off. Some of your kids will be drawn to that style. Some of your kids will want the same schedule every day so they feel, "I've completed it; that's my structure and my routine." Then there are others who would just shovel up and die if they had to do the same thing every day. You've got five kids. They're all individual, with unique personalities, energies, talents and gifts. It sounds like they're doing incredibly.

I can't wait to look at some of these ideas you had about the Focus Time and the Morning Basket. I love this idea of having some regular components that will give kids a landing point, a sense of a routine - just like we like to have holidays. It's like, "Oh, let's bring out the tablecloth we always use." There's something reassuring about traditions. What’s the best word for that?

Andrea Olson:

Rituals, too.

Peggy Hall:

Yes, rituals.

Andrea Olson:

It's the same thing, yes.

Peggy Hall:

Absolutely. And then within that, there's time for flexibility and play. Overall, though, there's no wrong way to do it. My main goal in all of this is to spark the curiosity in parents of, "Huh, there might be another way." Sending them to school isn't the only way. Also, there is no rush to commit to a certain homeschooling style. If you get your kids out of school today or tomorrow at the latest, just tell the teacher and the administration that you're doing a two week staycation or whatever. They've been telling all the kids to stay home. Then, within those two weeks you can figure out your next steps.

The next thing I want to talk to you about is, what type of legalities should people know about? What's going on in North Carolina? Do you just submit documents or something to the state? Do you get any money back from the state because you've paid your taxes? These are questions on people's minds.

Andrea Olson:

I did get $300 this year, which didn't make a dent in anything, but it was a nice gesture. There is pending legislation to give us equal access to educational funds because we broke the system last summer with the amount of registrations for homeschool. They had to shut down their website and they had to limit it to a certain number of homeschool applications per day... The second largest school district in our state is homeschoolers. So, it's a tremendously quickly-growing population.

In North Carolina, you do have to register if the child's seven or over. So when you're doing kindergarten, you don't have to tell them what you're doing. You're supposed to submit or keep a file of your immunizations and your yearly testing. Personally, I think I will do annual testing for them just because I know my kids are actually at a gifted level because I'm able to customize what I do for them.

Moving Beyond the Page is a gifted program, anyway. I've also heard that the school system is so overwhelmed, they never checked any of the records, so I keep my own file. There are home homeschool advocacy groups, too. There's an annual homeschool event, the Great Homeschool Convention, that I just went to in South Carolina. It was totally amazing. They had kids' shows and everything. I got to look at all this curriculum. I met a woman who wrote books about mysteries in national parks and she took a picture with our kids and they each bought their favorite mystery.

My kids save their money doing jobs at home, then go and buy things like that. That's what my vision is for them. But the Great Homeschool Convention has a lot of resources too. It goes all over the US. Right now it’s traveling around. There are homeschool advocacy groups in every state. It's your right to be able to school your own children. Sometimes, when you pull them out, you get a lot of criticism. I’d advise a two week trial, so to speak, and then just notify the school system that you’re withdrawing. Keep records like the table of contents from your curriculum, so if you ever enter back into school, you have a list right there of what you’ve studied. I re-entered school and then pulled out again*, and I did get a lot of judgment, but I said, "Hey, what you're doing doesn't work for me. This virtual thing doesn't work for me." Once the decision is made, it’s so freeing, it’s amazing.

It’s really important to note that if you find you're doing more work than your children, then you're doing it wrong. Anytime I feel like I'm making way more effort than my first grader, I say, "Hold on, what's going on here?" and change what I'm doing.

Here’s another important concept: resistance. For example, today she was resistant to something and started getting all wild and antsy in her chair. I wanted to give up and I said, "Hey, which part of today's lesson did you not like?" She said, "Well, I don't like it when you read a book and then ask me questions about it. I understand what happened in the book." So I said, "Great, well, we will stop doing that." It was so simple it was amazing. That behavioral issue of squirming over questions, in a public school, would've been an issue. “Your child has ADHD.” Maybe even she would disengage because of the stress and stop loving learning.

The other thing I want to say is regarding work. I have three businesses. I have Go Diaper Free, I have Tiny Undies, which is six month old and up underwear. Then I have Mamaworx, which is where I teach moms how to have a passive income business (which is what Go Diaper Free and Tiny Undies are). I'm able to make money even while we're having this conversation. Passive income (where parents aren’t trading time for money like a traditional 9 to 5 work day) could be the piece that makes it possible for some to stay home and homeschool their kids. A lot of people are working from home anyway right now, so it’s a good time to start looking at homeschooling. You can look at it as free schooling or whatever you want to call it.

There’s another thing I’d like to point out to parents of very young children. A fellow from Best Buy came to install my internet. He said, “We're planning to homeschool, too. We just had our first baby." He explained, “Both my wife and I were both homeschooled. My wife quit her job and we redid our budget, cutting our expenses so we could live off one income.” Now, some of you know I follow Dave Ramsey religiously and he has helped me get almost debt free already. Changing our budget allows for space to do other things other than “working." These are ideas for those who might feel like, “I can never pull out my kid from school because we can’t afford it.” You can make it work, you just have to get creative.

I once met this homeschooling family with 10 children. What a saint, this woman; none of her young children had phones. The oldest child was twenty-one, the youngest one was two. And I asked the two teenage girls - because those are usually the problem children, right? - “Hey, what's your favorite part of school?” The 13 year old said, "Grammar. I love grammar." The 14 year old said, "I am writing a novel right now." Homeschooling is worth it. The relationship I have with my daughter is great. I didn't do the awful potty training everyone says is inevitable and I'm not going to go through the supposed “teenage rebellion” years, either. We're going to be more connected than that.

Peggy Hall:

Andrea, you said so many things here. It's just a wealth of encouragement. I want to start with your last comment, first. You know, no one knows your kids like you do. No one loves them like you do. No one understands their personality, their behavior like you do.

You also mentioned going to some of these events where the kids would be socialized. My view is similar to yours; a little bit out of the mainstream. I believe parents elevate this concept of socializing their kids beyond what it really deserves. The kids are going to be socialized by interacting with you and interacting with all you do when you go outside. For example, when you go to the grocery store, why not have them give the money to buy the things and ask somebody a question, things like that?

So I want to put parents' mind at ease because one of the top objections is “how are my kids going to be socialized? They're going to be hermits, they won't know how to interact.” My experience has been the opposite. They are actually going to thrive. They will be less embarrassed, there's less comparison, less competition.

Andrea Olson:

Less Bullying.

Peggy Hall:

Another objection I hear is, “They won't be able to survive in the real world.” In my experience, homeschooled kids are leap years ahead. I know of an 11 year old that also published a book. She has such imagination, curiosity and self-assurance. I believe that when the kids are out of the public (and most private) school settings, that they actually thrive for the reasons you mentioned.

I want to go back to the comment your daughter had about the book. The most important thing that struck me about that whole scenario is that you asked her a question and that's the number one thing we need to do: have that communication open. That's actually the Socratic method. “What do you think about this? Did you like this book? Do you want to choose the next one?” Why doesn't she write the questions and ask you the questions next time? It would be hilarious and great. “Did you listen, mom? Did you understand?” Have her come up with her own questions.

Everything, the more that it’s student generated, the more they are involved, curious, engaged, exploring, it really serves them well. This was my ongoing theme as an educator. My career was professional development for teachers; how to keep the student at the center. How do you remove the barriers? Stop “teaching” them for heaven's sake; get out of the way and let them learn. And they were called learner-centered... It had all different names, but it was all about learning, not even about teaching. And so they are natural... I'm sure that two month old baby is going to be learning already.

Another point I want to go back to is the idea of having some curriculum that can be a jumping off point. You mentioned the Tuttle Twins. I want to point out that the Tuttle Twins is a curriculum; a series of books and it is based on…why don't you tell me?

Andrea Olson:

It's based on the principles of the Free Market. They talk about the Fed, the Creature from Jekyll Island. I learn, I bring these to my constitutional rights groups. I'm like, "Can we just read this children's book together and actually learn how the Fed works?" They talk about the law. What's the law supposed to be? How are government officials supposed to behave as part of the law? Are they supposed to be different from us; follow different laws than us? The Tuttle Twins even have board books like the ABCs of Liberty, for the little ones. They have books for grade school level with curriculum guides if you want to do it that way. I just read to my kids and they go, "Wow!" They're learning about commerce, the free markets, things like that. Now the Tuttle Twins have books for teens now too, that talk about inventors and entrepreneurs and topics that are just fantastic. Connor Boyack is the author; I highly recommend all of his work and his email list. He is so encouraging.

Peggy Hall:

Yes, it's fantastic. I get his newsletters and I just love it. Friends, I want to leave you with this: One of my mottos is, “there's always another way and I'm going to find it.” There's always another way. Whether you are a single parent, whether you're divorced and maybe your ex spouse wants the kids to be in school, even if you are working outside the home - everything that Andrea just explained can be done on the weekend. It can be done after you get home from work.

Andrea Olson:

Yes.

Peggy Hall:

I especially want to speak to the parents that are keeping their kids in public school. You don't just wash your hands of them when they leave the house. This is your opportunity to help encourage them with their critical thinking. What did you learn in school today? What do you think about that? Is there another way of looking at it? Let's take a look at this author. Where did that information come from?

I have counseled parents that bemoan, "It's a no-deal. My ex spouse has the right and she's keeping them in school and I don't know what to do." So I say, "This is perfect. You get to go through the lessons with your daughter; you get to break down what she's learning and have this opportunity for her reflection and input and critical thinking. On the weekend, you're going to be doing everything you just described, Andrea - you're going to be doing the cooking, the sewing, the hiking, the exploration, or maybe when you've got the kids at the end of the day."

For parents that are working, your child could be involved in a group like a co-op, learning group, learning “pod, charter school or homeschool networks. It doesn't have to be just you doing this. It can be one other parent that takes the kids from eight to two, which is more than enough “school” time. Kids don't need to be doing structured learning for more than a couple of hours. It's actually counterproductive, like working out on the rowing machine for eight hours. You're going to break down rather than build up.

There are so many options. Even just half an hour of these freedom learning principles, even just on the weekend. So many things you can do to start to see the changes, the joy of learning return, the curiosity, the exploration, the growth. They're going to thrive. They're going to be leaps and bounds ahead of others. Not that I'm comparing, because everyone learns in their own way. However, schools can hold them back.

Finally, parents, I just want to have a little tough love with you. You can see beautiful Andrea, who's got a million things she's juggling, a large family, and community involvement. She’s also homeschooling four kids ages two to 7 (and keeping up with a 10-year-old doing virtual school). Parents, you are the parent and your child's education and learning environment is your responsibility. It grieves me deeply, when I hear from parents who I can pick up in the back of their mind that they just don't want their kids around during the day. They want to have time for themselves.

Andrea Olson:

I used to be like that.

Peggy Hall:

I understand it. Who doesn't want time for themselves, just to breathe? You need it. And that's where co-ops come in handy, and babysitters. I know homeschool moms that had their kids in homeschool co-ops three days a week. At thehealthyamerican.org, under the Freedom Learning tab, we are going to be diving into this in detail. I just want to give a brief overview and this might be something you're interested in as well, Andrea. You've got it well under control, but you might want to look into this.

Andrea Olson:

Oh, I'll definitely look into it because I took your first course and I loved it. It literally happened at the perfect time. I really appreciate all the permission you gave in that webinar.

Peggy Hall:

That's one of the most important things! We are creating a three-tiered program. The first level is for parents who are like, "I don't really know what to do, but I'm interested. Let me kick the tires of this idea. I'm still working. I'm not sure. The school's not that bad after all." We're going to go over why you need to get your kids out of school. We're going to talk about all the obstacles and then how to overcome them. We're going to talk about what a typical week looks like in this freedom learning, out-of-the-box experience. And then we're going to talk about the next steps and how do you really roll up your sleeves and get going? So kind of a deeper dive of what we did here. That’s tier one for parents.

You know, Andrea, there are teachers that want to depart the public school and start their own learning groups.

Andrea Olson:

Oh, yes. We have a lot of them here. They're in our network and they've started a school down the street. It’s amazing.

Peggy Hall:

I love it. We want to help educators with that. The second tier of our new program is going to cover, how do you get a group going? Where do you find them? How do you set it up? Where's the location? How do decide what to charge? How does all that work?

The third level will be about a brick-and-mortar location for people that want to have a place and put their name on it. We're partnering with a group that actually has a blueprint for starting your own business. We want to give elbow room for the group to make it theirs, too. There are people that want to get started and they say, "I just don't know what to do. Take me by the hand and bring me through step-by-step. I want to build something new that's going to be helpful for the community, helpful for myself." Many people are looking for new careers right now. I want to say at this point, you don't need to be a trained teacher to do any of this. Andrea, do you have a license as a teacher? Are you certified as a teacher?

Andrea Olson:

No.

Peggy Hall:

Friends, you don't need any of that to homeschool. You don't need anyone's permission. For our program, we also will go through the legalities of this in terms of, do you need a license for a group? Do you not? How do you do this? We’ll cover all the bases. It's really thrilling. This is in response to thousands of people like you, Andrea, that went through the Freedom Learning seminar. Folks, you will see me in a way that you've never seen me, because I had an emotional event during that seminar that completely took me by surprise and it's near or the end of it. It just revealed to me the depth of my dedication to this. This is what's going to save our country. Not just that it makes your family life better and the kids are learning; this is the only solution in my humble view, to saving our society in the future. What say you, Andrea? I'll give you the last few words here.

Andrea Olson:

I completely agree. I've had two free births - no medical establishment involved, birthing on my own, in my own bath tub, with just my husband present. It was amazing. Then I did EC so my kids were free from having to soil themselves. Now, doing homeschool on top of that, letting them teach me, while I’m guiding them and listening; it’s still more amazing. It's all about listening to our children and doing things as naturally and as synchronized as possible, where I get to have the influence, not just go, "Oh, what's going to happen at that school?" I was raised partially by my mom and grandparents to be patriotic, to love my country, to understand what it's built upon and how it's gone astray. Now I’m raising the next generation of freedom fighters.

It's all of those things from birth that we get the chance to influence. This is what makes us American. The fact that we have the freedom to do all the things I just named, is a huge gift. It's a huge blessing. I believe everybody needs to take advantage of it. Peggy, you’re going to reach a lot of these folks who are kind of on the fence. Homeschooling, or freedom schooling, is literally a leap of faith, but I promise there's something on the other side that's amazing and more beautiful than you could expect. Is it hard? Yes. You have to let go and trust the process. Because the experience is about being present and savoring every moment, life has slowed down. It's really fantastic. I hope those of you watching feel inspired to at least try just a little bit and see what happens.

Peggy Hall:

Well, Andrea, you are just a beautiful picture of possibility and positivity, and I'm just so glad that we connected. I'll just leave on the final note friends, go to Andrea's website, andreaolson.com or godiaperfree.com and connect with her there. Now I want to do a road trip to North Carolina!

Andrea Olson:

Oh, please.

Peggy Hall:

It sounds really fantastic, knowing that there are folks like you out there. Friends, I just want to kind of come full circle because, if you think back, and if you read the Tuttle Twins books you'll know how our country began. How we started in these original colonies. Yes, they were started by the British and we can go into all of that. But it's important to know the stories of people that really persisted, that survived and thrived as generations came on - because remember, this country was inhabited by the Europeans for at least 200 years before the “United States” was formed. I really love the idea of going back to these original colonies, where they were rather separate, where they had their own language, they had their own currency, they had their own trade within their communities. We are actually recreating what I feel is in our DNA, in our blood, in our heritage of this independence. We don't need this national approach to solving problems.

My goodness, as I've said before, I live in a community of about 300 and we can't even figure out the parking. We can't even agree on the parking and the landscaping. Three hundred people who share the same community who have the same goal of wanting to thrive and live healthy and happy. If 300 people can't figure it out, how in the world could 300,000,000, however many millions? It's just not possible. It needs to be done as local as you're doing it.

To bring schooling back to the families is actually progressive. I can't even come up with the adjective for it because it actually is light years ahead of what we've been experiencing.

Please meet me also at thehealthyamerican.org. Hop on over, get help and go to the Freedom Learning tab where there are videos you can dive into right off the bat. See you soon, everybody.

Andrea Olson:

I hope you thoroughly enjoyed that interview with Peggy Hall. Isn't she amazing? I just adore her. You can find more of her at thehealthyamerican.org and follow her there and on YouTube. And then also be sure to come by the show notes and ask me any questions you have about homeschooling and freedom schooling over at godiaperfree.com/181. I cannot wait to talk to you there in the comments, and I hope you have a wonderful one with your baby (and your other children, if you have more!) Take care till next time.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

*Please note, this is Andrea's personal experience homeschooling in North Carolina, USA. Each state in the U.S. has its own homeschooling requirements (and some states have none!). Please consult your state's Department of Education for current requirements, or go to Homeschool Legal Defense's website, HSLDA.org/legal, to find the requirements for homeschooling in your state. (If you live outside the U.S., please check your own province/country's requirements so you know you're documenting things correctly for your situation!)

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xx Andrea

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The post Freedom Schooling: An interview by Peggy Hall with Andrea Olson appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

View Details

Just a heads up that this episode is not about EC. It’s about something I have deeply researched and wish to share, from the perspective of an expert.

Feel free to skip this one, or read the trigger warning below and bravely listen even if it’s not your bag.

Our next episode is about homeschooling and will be out on Tuesday! So be sure to stay along for that and 8 more EC-solution-oriented podcasts to follow it!!

Maureen McDonnell, RN, founder of Millions Against Medical Mandates and I discuss Pfizer's recent application (and surprising withdrawal) for EUA of their injection for babies 6 months to 5 years. If you have been concerned with the spiking accounts of side effects of the injection, DROP EVERYTHING and listen in!

Wherever you stand on this issue (even if you're not sure), as parents we have the right to do our due diligence and make the choices that are best for our own families, without coercion, without shaming. Unfortunately, much of the information out there is one-sided, so this episode is meant to balance that so you can make an INFORMED decision regarding your own family.

As you know, I am allllll about sovereignty and raising children naturally. That’s what pottying our babies from birth is truly rooted in! So although this episode is “different,” Maureen and I make lots of references to this style of parenting throughout the interview. Hope you enjoy this fresh, well-researched perspective!

PLEASE NOTE: If this topic is sensitive for you, I highly recommend listening in full or skipping this episode altogether. I strongly believe this decision is each person's to make, for themselves and their children, and I have no judgment for your choice in the end. My goal is to decrease division, actually. Right now we really need each other, so if you have done your due diligence and we end up disagreeing, no worries, no judgment. I just feel this is a very important and timely, almost urgent, topic, and I hope you enjoy the information.

You will hear: * the incredible increase in the number of vaccines given to children * whether the injection medically qualifies as a “vaccine” * whether vaccine manufacturers are held liable * hopeful news regarding mandates for babies and young children * why discerning parents “follow the money” (just like with the diaper companies!) * the danger with adding children's injections to the Emergency Use Authorization * what emotional + censorship triggers can signal and what to do (what to do if this triggers you) * post-injection: what the world's top cardiologist and most-published MD is seeing * how covid actually affects babies * the startling revelation of the PCR test's creator * where immunity starts and the best way to boost it * the germ theory and how it shaped our modern medical practice * antibody presence vs. immunity * sources for education and empowerment

Links and other resources mentioned today: * MAMM (Maureen’s Website) * Saving Our Kids, Healing Our Planet * 1986 The Act * The 5 Docs Interviews * Children’s Health Defense * Joe Rogan and Robert Malone interview * VAERS * America’s Frontline Doctors * Kids + Covid Webinar * MD Christiane Northrup’s interview (free) and ebook (available with small donation) * NVIC * A Shot in the Dark * The Highwire (Del Bigtree) * Dr. Mercola * Stand for Health Freedom * The Epoch Times * JP Sears Youtube and Instagram

Download the Transcript If you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: Interview with Maureen McDonnell of mamm.org: A discussion about injections for 6 month to 5 year old children

Read the full written transcript Expand

If this episode triggers you, that is a sign that something else is at play. And when they’re trying to control our parenting to make more money, we as parents, have the duty to question that. And that’s what this episode has been about.

Hey there, welcome to the Go Diaper Free podcast. I'm Andrea Olson, your host, author, and mom of five babies, all EC'd from birth, all out of diapers by walking.

You guys, today I have another interview. And I know I don't do a lot of interviews on the Go Diaper Free podcast, but lately there's just been so much to share about other things to do with parenting, about the way we feed our babies, everything down to sleep, all of that. Today's interview is going to be a little bit different though and there's an urgency to it. Because the way the world is right now and all of the pressures and all of the encouragement to do things that we may or may not be in alignment with, and for this, I brought on a very special guest today to answer a whole bunch of questions about something that might be up for some of you. So if you want to just tune in only for stuff about infant potty training, then skip this one. And if you're open to other things that might affect your six month to five year babies, then stay tuned to this one.

Now, let me just preface all of this by saying I'm not trying to convince anybody to revolt or be anti-vax or anything from our topic today. I am sharing this information today because I feel a duty to parents in our community to share another valid side of the story that the mainstream media and government is working very hard to censor, to demoralize, to cover up, and to silence, which makes me highly concerned. It kind of reminds me of the diaper industry, trying to censor anybody, trying to potty train before the age of two or three. So similar kind of moves. What is the big cover up about? This is unprecedented and now they're after our babies. So this, because I serve all of you, I just want to serve you with some more information about something that's up in today's culture, and that's why we have this interview that's even off schedule for our podcast today.

So I've brought on an expert today, Maureen McDonald, of Millions Against Medical Mandates. I'm going to tell you a little bit about her in a second. But I want to mention just as a sovereign parent, which I know most of my followers, you guys are very much into that word these days - sovereign - you above anyone else have the right and the duty to do due diligence with any medical decision for your baby, the right to informed consent, which has been lacking during the last two years, to thoroughly weigh the cost versus the benefits of the COVID injection, which is the topic of today's talk, and to make the decision that is right for your child. So because the state does not own your child, we are going to talk about what right do we have. And the state doesn't own your child yet anyway, and hopefully never will if I have anything to do with it.

My hope is that if our talk today resonates with you in any way that you'll be inspired to take action, however that looks for you, and at the end of this interview we will let you know how to do that, and it is timely. So now onto our interview. Welcome Maureen.

Maureen McDonald:

Hi.

Andrea Olson:

I'm going to introduce you with your bio that you sent me. You guys Maureen's background is super interesting. I didn't want to just talk about this from my point of view, because a lot of you, not a lot of you, but some people have criticized me for talking about things that are out of my lane. Well, this is in Maureen's lane. Maureen McDonald has been a holistic nutritionally oriented RN for more than 40 years. So in 1993, after working in labor and delivery, pediatrics, and teaching natural childbirth classes, she began organizing conferences focused on natural ways to raise healthy kids in a toxic world. For 10 years, she was the national coordinator of the Defeat Autism Now conferences. Maureen Also served as the health editor of WNC Woman magazine for seven years, and that's where we live.

In 2008, she co-founded Saving Our Kids, Healing Our Planet, which is sokhop.com. And for three years, she was the medical coordinator of the Imus Ranch for Kids With Cancer in New Mexico. So highly qualified background. And I want to add in 2019, Maureen called together 52 thought leaders from various like-minded organizations for a three day mountain retreat summit with the explicit intention of building collaboration, strength, and effectiveness within the vaccine risk aware and health freedom movements. So subsequent to this gathering Maureen founded Millions Against Medical Mandates, mamm.org, which is an organization that works in collaboration with CHD, Health Choice, and many other health freedom groups to end unjust and insane medical mandates. She now serves as the Executive Director of MAMM. Maureen, welcome.

Maureen McDonald:

Thank you so much.

Andrea Olson:

I know that everybody listening, who has heard MAMM is probably like, oh my gosh, how do you know this woman? So Maureen lives in the same town as I do. We've become friends through all of the freedom movements we're a part of. And we're just going to talk today about the introduction of the idea of a COVID injection for the six months to five year crew. So for the record, I just want to know if you are anti-vax.

Maureen McDonald:

Me?

Andrea Olson:

Yeah, you.

Maureen McDonald:

That's a tough question to lead off with. But I would have to say having been a pediatric nurse all these years, 40 plus years, and having been the coordinator of the Defeat Autism Now conferences for 10 years, it was during that tenure, during the Defeat Autism Now, where I literally met, I'm not talking hundreds, I'm talking thousands of parents who told me that they basically had a normal child prior to the MMR, prior to the getting five vaccines in one day, prior to their child being sick and the physician insisting that they take the injections anyway. So I've also watched this, when my kids were small, I'm quite a bit older than probably most of your audience. My kids were small. There were about five to 11 vaccines given to children before the age of five. Now there's 26 in the first year, 52 before age five and 72 before 18.

So I am anti that kind of takeover of the pediatric world as if vaccines are the answer for everything. Do I think the concept is great? Absolutely. Who would not want to protect their children against infection? Do I think they're completely safe without any side effects? Have they done long-term studies? Have they done safety studies? Basically, no. So it's a tough question, but I would have to answer that. Yes, I am very skeptical about most of the injections they're giving our kids, the number of them, the ingredients, the safety studies, and now by adding the COVID injection, which I won't even call a vaccine into the incredibly expansive schedule for our children without, I might add, any liability by the manufacturers. Now there is not another product in the world where the manufacturer has absolutely no liability.

So if you get an injection in your arm, Andrea, and I, as a nurse, give it to you, I'm not liable. The doctor who told me to give it isn't liable, the people who made the vaccine are not liable. So what kind of situation is that if that doesn't send a red flag up for people to investigate, all those parents that I mentioned from the Defeat Autism Now world that I did for the conferences for 10 years, they used to look at me after the three day conference and say, "Once they realized what had happened to their children, if only I knew then what I know now, I would've made different choices." So I've pretty much dedicated my life, my career and even personally, I talk just as a mother and a grandmother to the idea that, Hey, let me give you some information now, so you don't have to be one of these people that look back and say, "If I only knew then, yeah, I would do things differently."

Andrea Olson:

Right. And that's so applicable to even what I teach elimination communication, which is infant potty training. So many parents, it's not quite so life or death, but so many parents say, "If I only would've known about this before with my first child, I would've done this. Or 20 years ago, I would've known about this, I would've done this with my children." That it's so much, just knowing and educating ourselves about these alternative ways, not just what the mainstream feeds us is so important as parents so that we can make informed decisions. So I appreciate that.

Maureen McDonald:

Yeah. I think too, there's truly a lost art of caring for, and raising our children in rhythm with nature. It's really a lost art. And part of that comes from the very targeted way that the pharmaceutical industry has taken over the pediatric profession. Well taken over the whole medical system. But I think that really is something parents, young parents have to look at is do your own due diligence. Do your research, find that connection with your innate inner wisdom as a mom, as a parent and trust that. Yes, consult your pediatrician, consult the experts, but never abdicate, total responsibility for the health and wellbeing of your child to anybody. You are the expert.

Andrea Olson:

Absolutely. And in this similar way, the diaper companies have taken over pediatrics as well. They have Pampers Institute where they teach. They actually teach the text books. They write the textbooks that our pediatricians use to inform parents to wait until two or three years old, to have their children pooping and peeing themselves till then, which is impacting their start at life. So I think that we're on the same page on those sorts of general topics and about raising children in a way where we feel like we are the ones who get to make those decisions. So you guys, this is what the talk today is about. Just opening your eyes and ears about something. If you want to learn more about vaccine liability and stuff like that, 1986: The Act (2020). That's a film that I think I met somebody from your organization for the first time a couple years ago.

And that movie really impacted me about whether or not I will continue to vaccinate my children. So for those of you who want a little more information on what Maureen just mentioned, there's that. Now I understand that there was supposed to be a decision coming up in the government on February 15th. Can you tell us what the issue is and maybe why it's no longer?

Maureen McDonald:

Yes. So Pfizer petitioned the FDA to authorize, not approve, authorize the injection, the COVID injection to be given to children as young as 6 months old. They've already authorized 5 to 11 year olds to receive this. And we're seeing a multitude of problems from that. But now we're going down the line to the six month old. So believe it or not, about 15 minutes before we started this interview, I received two emails, saying that no one knows why, but for whatever reason, Pfizer has withdrawn their petition to the FDA to have the vaccine authorized for children that young. I saw something that they're waiting to see if they don't know if two doses are better or three doses.

Andrea Olson:

Yeah, what I read was that two doses were not effective in establishing any immunity.

Maureen McDonald:

Antibody development. Yeah, they weren't seeing. They were giving a dose, a 10th of the adult dose or something. I mean, I don't think this is the right time to get into what's in these injections. But I work with several physicians. Once a month, I do an interview with, we call them The Five Docs, Sherri Tenpenny, Dr. Sherri Tenpenny, who's probably the world's most educated person when it comes to vaccines. And Dr. Christiane Northrup, who's a world renowned OB-GYN, been on Oprah 10 times, been on PBS specials on Women's Health eight times, New York Times best seller. Orthopedic surgeon Lee Merritt, former Naval commander. Maybe the world's best pediatrician, holistic pediatrician, Dr Larry Palevsky and Dr. Carrie MadeJ, who's also so well informed when it comes to these vaccines.

So if you want to learn about what's in these injections and from the perspective of physicians with their kind of experience and understanding, I would really go to our website, MAMM, mamm.org, all ten episodes are on there. But I will tell you that it's quite alarming that people... Here's an example, you go to the pharmacy, you're getting a new drug. They give you a package insert. You open it up, it's this big, most medications, it lists what the contraindications are, why you shouldn't take it, what the ingredients are. Well, if you go to a pharmacy and ask for the insert to the COVID injection, you'll get a big piece of paper that's blank, like five times this size.

Andrea Olson:

Blank.

Maureen McDonald:

That's fold out and is blank. And then you...

Andrea Olson:

Or that says intentionally left blank depending on the one.

Maureen McDonald:

Totally. So I'm just saying that, don't listen to me, just connect a few dots and listen to your own common sense.

Andrea Olson:

And literally with the diaper companies, we follow the money and you look at the studies.

Maureen McDonald:

Yes, that's what you have to do.

Andrea Olson:

And you really read of studies that they're quoting science on, even with potty training and diapers, you will see that there is nothing there. So when we really look at this, do we even have access to it? No, we don't even have one. There's so many things that are being shielded from us, which should, as parents make us skeptical. That's a healthy skepticism. It's nothing irresponsible, but it is healthy. So what will happen if they bring this back to the table and under the emergency use authorization, they pass this approval of the injection for 6 months to 5 year old babies.

Maureen McDonald:

Well, one of the reasons they want to approve it and get it in while the Emergency Use Authorization Act is in effect is so they can roll into being part of the children's vaccine schedule. So it's recommended by the CDC. And once it becomes part of that schedule, which I mentioned 26 in the first year, 52 before age five and so on, that is when the manufacturers of these injections have... There's no recourse, there's no liability. So they are free. I mean, I always say, well, what's their incentive to make them safer. They don't have any incentive because I can't sue them if I get harmed or my child or my grandchild gets harmed. So there's no incentive to make a better product, to make a safer product. It's just, these companies were brilliant.

In my 1986, somehow they convinced Congress. They said, "If you don't give us liability, we're not making vaccines anymore." And back then there were like I said, 5 to 11 before the age of 5, all of a sudden Congress said, "Oh, you're free of all liability." And that's when the vaccine manufacturers exploded and all these new vaccines came on the schedule. And there are even some states that are saying, "No matter what comes down the pipeline." Because there's 278 new vaccines in the pipeline. And there are some states that say, "Hey, once they come out, just automatically put them on, put them on, put them on the schedule." So I think what's happening, and it could be related even to why Pfizer has removed their petition. Maybe it's a ploy, maybe it's a distraction, but we have had a major outcry. MAMM just sent a news alert. You sent it out. CHD, we're working closely with Children's Health Defense on this.

Andrea Olson:

And that's Robert F. Kennedy Jr's organization.

Maureen McDonald:

Yeah, we're trying to get people to take action, to sign petitions and to write specifically to the FDA to oppose this. This is an experimental novel mRNA injection that has never been used before on human beings. All the studies in the past with animals, the animals either died or developed autoimmune illness. So even the main guy who's involved, the physician PhD MD, Robert Malone, who was so responsible for the mRNA technology has said, "Guys, stop, stop, using this." And during a pandemic, this is not what it was created for.

Andrea Olson:

Now, I do want to know what impact has the injection been having on our five to 11 year olds and our 12 to 18 year olds?

Maureen McDonald:

Well, the first thing we saw is as Dr. Peter McCullough talks about on that Joe Rogan interview, which he's one of the top cardiologists in the world. He's also more published than any other physician. He's published, mostly being lead author for over a thousand articles and studies that are in mainstream medical journals. So this is a guy with an impeccable reputation, and he specifically zeros in on the myocarditis issue, which is happening. We've seen our athletes drop on the field and either they die immediately or they have very serious cardiovascular problems, including myocarditis.

Andrea Olson:

Which is permanent. It doesn't go away.

Maureen McDonald:

No, it doesn't go away. And it requires bedrest and minimal activity and they can use various drugs and sometimes other interventions to mitigate it. But it's a very serious problem. And it's happening to mostly teenage boys that have developed this after getting the COVID injection and young men. And the theory with the athletes, why it's happening so frequently to the athletes is that the more you are moving your body and pumping your heart and your cardiovascular system is working hard, the more these spike proteins, which are generated from the injection, they were saying in the beginning that, oh, you get it in your deltoid muscle and the spike protein stay there. No, they go to all the organs in your body, your heart, your lungs, especially your ovaries if you're a young girl or young woman. The brain, and definitely as I said, your or heart.

So these spike proteins are supposedly there to trigger antibody formation, but they have dangerous components themselves. So we're seeing that in the 5 to 18 year olds. And then, I mean, I'm sorry, the 18 year olds and the young men. Well, there's been kids as low as 13, 14, 15 too, mostly boys. The girls have other issues I've seen. I was at the march in Washington DC, which was called Defeat the Mandate march. And they had a whole slew of physicians speak about why the effective treatments have been blocked for treating COVID because there's so many things that help prevent COVID and help treat it early on so it doesn't progress into the cytokine storm, which is the inflammation. And then the blood clotting issue, which is the main problem. But they also had a number of people, including an orthopedic surgeon there and a young biker who was a professional biker and they all had major injuries from the COVID injection and they're all until they found each other, they were really experiencing intense gas lighting. People were just saying they were crazy. They were making it up. I mean, they were trying to do the right thing, like we all try to do. They did this for the greater good, they were really convinced that it was the right thing to do. And as you know, and your audience probably knows, the Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System that you can find on the CDC website, not that easily, it's easier to go to openvaers.com.

Andrea Olson:

Openvaers.com.

Maureen McDonald:

Correct. And the numbers now, and they consider it extremely underreporting, but there's at least 23,000 people who have died shortly after receiving this injection and over, I think it's close to 1.8 million serious adverse reactions. So this is nothing to shake a stick at.

Andrea Olson:

And that is only estimated to be 1 to 50% of the actual, right.

Maureen McDonald:

One to ten. Yes.

Andrea Olson:

One to 10% of the actual, because a lot aren't reporting.

Maureen McDonald:

That's right. It's very challenging for physicians to report because they could get black-balled for saying that there's a connection between, and that's a whole other thing about after...

Andrea Olson:

And here, I just wanted to interject something. So when I had COVID in December, I used Ivermectin. I gave COVID to my mom and my stepdad who are very high risk both of them, one of them obese one with heart issues. I overnighted them, Ivermectin as well. Just going to admit that this is just what I've done and it absolutely nailed, nipped it in the bud. And the fact that this treatment is being basically demonized in America and all over the world. And this drug is being kept from people when it costs a dollar 80 for a 10 pack of it that could prevent all of these, at least a lot of the major issues from happening along with other things that we also took like vitamins and being in the sun, et cetera. A lot of people's arguments are, well, this is a pandemic and this is serious.

And you're people at risk by not getting them vaccinated. We have just as many vaccinated and unvaccinated people in the hospital from COVID right now. We aren't using the therapies that actually work in a timely fashion. People are actually withholding the medications that can prevent major issues with COVID. So if we could just zoom out a little bit and just understand the big picture a little more, that everything, the mainstream media and the government is trying to feed a lot of you. And a lot of you who have listened this far into the interview are probably on the same page, but maybe you're new to this, but just think about it. If there are actual treatments that work, what's the use of a vaccine. If you can get COVID, even if you've had the vaccine, what's the use of a vaccine. And furthermore that this isn't actually a vaccine, it is mRNA technology.

It is an injection. And this is the level of research that I've done. Again, I'm no expert, but I've been following the same doctors you're talking about and America's Frontline Doctors. And I really feel like we're going at this whole problem in the wrong way. And then furthermore, I really want to talk about how does COVID even affects babies and children, or does it? Because if we are putting them in masks all the time, not my kids, we won't wear them, but then a lot of kids are still masked at school. We've got vaccines being introduced and causing major issues. We're causing infertility in our girls, myocarditis in our boys. If those are even risks, including death at all, I'm going to weigh the risks and benefits as a mom and say, "You know what, we'll pass on that one."

Like the flu shot, we don't really want to get the flu from the flu shot. So we're going to pass on that one. And I have the right to do that. But we can rewind a little bit and go, okay, does COVID even have an effect on babies and children? And if so, what is it?

Maureen McDonald:

Well, I just did a webinar on that very subject with three medical doctors and you can find that on the mamm.org website, it's called COVID in Kids. Also on our website is an incredible ebook that Dr. Christiane Northrup created, and for a small donation of any amount you can download that ebook it's really, really informative. But I think the gist of what you're getting at is the fact that if a child was to contract COVID, if they have a 99.995% chance of survival. So a very minimal negligible percent chance that they would be seriously ill or die from COVID. So we did have some deaths last year, but remember every single one of those children had a serious comorbidity, there were a couple hundred. And the other thing to remember is the CDC says, it's right on their website, that only about 6% of the people they say passed away from COVID actually passed away solely from COVID. That the other 94% had other comorbidities, meaning they had cancer, they had heart disease, obesity being the number one comorbidity.

Andrea Olson:

They actually had over two comorbidities. I think it was something like 2.1 or 2.3.

Maureen McDonald:

Yeah, it's 2 point something comorbidity

Andrea Olson:

So guys do you hear that out of all of the COVID deaths that you've heard of only 7% are actually from COVID. The rest of them are with COVID with over 2.0 comorbidities. So something else killed them and they tested positive for COVID as well.

Maureen McDonald:

Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

Okay. Please continue.

Maureen McDonald:

Well, just going back to what you were saying about the Ivermectin and the effective treatments, very, very early on, because I've been into holistic health for 40 years and just kind of a worry out there, screaming from the rooftops that parents really need to relearn the art of raising children naturally in this increasingly toxic world. But so very early on in COVID I think it was April, it got figured out. They started talking in March, by April or May, we had made a video on all the ways that you can prevent yourself from getting sick and your family, including your children. And then the early treatment that we were finding, even back then before it got so censored. So I think that people really need to go back to those roots and understand there's so much that can be done, preventatively with diet, with supplements, with herbs, with lifestyle. Like you said, get out in the sunshine, exercise, get that Vitamin D up.

It's so important. And then early treatments like ivermectin. But children really, as Dr. Malone said, who was one of the creators of the mRNA technology, children have very strong immune systems and they can get rid of these viral viruses pretty easily. And it very rarely goes into complications. So I think that we have to look at all the different dots and start connecting them including, and this may be jumping ahead, but we really have to understand that this is not a pandemic, it's a casedemic. And the reason it's a casedemic is because the PCR test has been lauded as this exceptional, wonderful tool to help us determine who is sick and who isn't. In actuality, Kary Mullis, who created the PCR test, he passed away in August of 2019 at a very young, healthy age. But he said, "This is not meant to detect. It can't tell the difference between a flu and the COVID. It can't tell the difference between a live virus and a dead virus." So again, that's another dot that they're testing asymptomatic people. I'm asymptomatic right now.

I could get a PCR test. They could come, they could find a fragment of a viral infection that I had 10 years ago. And because they amplify it, the cycle threshold it's called, it's supposed to be around 25. They go up to 45, 46. You're going to find my grandmother's hair follicle in there. I mean, it's like, you just can't make this stuff up. And this is what people, thanks to mainstream media, are understanding to be the truth. That we have a pandemic when in actuality, we have a casedemic because in 90% of the time, many of these experts in the PCR world are saying those tests are inaccurate. So they're showing up with false positive results. People were put in lockdown, they were put in quarantine and they were told they were sick when they weren't, even if they were sick, they weren't given proper treatment.

Andrea Olson:

Right.

Andrea Olson:

They're giving treatment that actually killed them, like our friend.

Maureen McDonald:

Well, that's another story I don't know if you want to get into.

Andrea Olson:

We don't need to, but I have a very close friend from one of my groups here in town. Anyway his family decided that they wanted Remdesivir and a ventilator and he died and he died from that. So we've got a lot of malpractice. We've got a lot of not doing preventive treatments like elderberry, echinacea. I grow them on my property. I give my kids that every day they have really strong immune systems, but I would even say that babies and children, their immune systems are actually helped if they do contract COVID. My kids had it when I had it. Each of them had a flu for 24 hours and they alternated every other day. So while I sick, trying to recover and to take care of five children who were also cycling through being sick. And now if we were to get a vaccine for any of us, Dr. Malone says that we would have a 40 to 60% increased chance of a major adverse reaction.

Andrea Olson:

So the way I see it is I've been getting my informed consent, not from the package of the vaccine or the injection. I've been getting my informed consent from doing my own research because everything is so censored. And coming to the conclusion of, okay, does the risk outweigh the benefit. Or the benefits outweigh the risk? And are we going to get this injection or not? Well, my answer is no, because we've already done enough research to decide on our own. The fact that COVID has also been shown to not be transmitted from children to adults as well. We've got so much real actual science that's being suppressed. So again, anyone listening, think about that, why are they struggling so hard and so fast to suppress all of this information.

If it were true science, we would be allowed to go, Hey, this doesn't make sense. Let's do another study and let's do a bunch of them and compare notes. We aren't even allowed to talk about this. So this is why this is only appearing on my podcast. It's not going YouTube or social media because people are banning people who are sharing and just having conversations like this. But as parents, we need to have these conversations. I have a question too. Do children have a higher or lower chance of perishing from the flu versus COVID?

Maureen McDonald:

I don't have the flu statistics-

Andrea Olson:

You don't. Okay.

Maureen McDonald:

... Off hand. But I would say that I was just listening to Dr. Cammy Benton, who is here in North Carolina. She's a physician in Greensboro, I think. And she's opening up a new health paradigm type health hospital, health clinic, wellness center. And she was talking about how 15 years ago, or 20 years ago, the flu was just something, we all just dealt with. And of course the healthier you are, the more access and understanding you have of herbs like elderberry and echinacea, astragalus and juicing green, juices for your kids and making bone broth and all those kinds of things, the less likely the flu is going to turn into something serious. But she was recalling how, I think it was George Bush the 2nd, when he was in office, somebody gave him a dare about, and he said, "I'm going to have flu vaccines on every corner."

And all of a sudden it was this major push, even though they're not effective. And oftentimes they cause the flu. So is the flu harmful for kids? Obviously depends on the child's pre-flu condition. If someone is immunocompromised or they're white as a ghost and they never get out in the sun or they eat a total processed food diet and they don't know what an herb or vitamin or a green vegetable looks like, I would say, they're probably going to have a rougher time battling anything - a cold, a flu, preventing cancer, anything. So that's the thing. It's like the stronger we can make our immune systems and the immune systems of our children. And by the way, 80% of our immune system is headquartered in the gut. So having a healthy gut, giving your kids fermented vegetables or forms of probiotics, kimchi, and things like that, really helps create, one of my favorite sayings is the road to good health is paved with good intestines. So it's really important for your immune system and other things also.

Andrea Olson:

I think that that really resonates with a lot of my listeners. So I'm glad that you brought that up. I mean we also deal with what comes out the other end. So we're very much... People who are doing infant potty training are very aware of the ins and outs of the intestines as well in a different way. This makes total sense. And I would even go so far as to say as a, I'm also a movement educator. I host dances every week and we build our immune systems by breathing in each other's air. And by exchanging biological information with each other. And children who are breathing through a mask all day long, the bacteria that they've tested that lives on those masks is crazy first of all, like there's a lot. It exposes them to so much bacteria that they shouldn't be breathing in every day. But also not being able to see people's faces.

We are constantly scanning the room, trying to check out if people are safe or not. Our babies are even learning how to form words by watching people's mouths move. So there are a lot of things that are happening right now that are counter nature. So you talk about getting back to natural parenting, being able to analyze this situation and what you're going to be willing to do with your children injection wise is part of aligning yourself with nature. If we can build up our children in other ways, is this necessary? Is this actually a threat for children? What is the exact threat? And then what are the risks? We look at the VAERS database and we see an immense amount of vaccine damage. This has spiked more than ever before on all the vaccine damage from VAERS reports. And that really isn't meant to be, Hey, this is all the information in VAERS. This is kind of a pulse on how we are doing as far as adverse reactions to vaccines go? And this pulse has skyrocketed in 2021. I want to shift, unless you have final comments on any of that.

Maureen McDonald:

Yes. I just want to say, to piggyback on what you just said about the fear of germs. I think this is, it hankers back to Louis Pasteur versus Antoine Béchamp at the end of the last century. And Louis Pasteur was like, "It's all about the germs and germs are going to kill you. And we have to sterilize everything. And Antoine Béchamp was a contemporary of his who said with the same intellectual capacity and understanding of microbiology. And he said, "No, no, it's the terrain. It's the health of the body. It's the attitude. It's an amount of exercise. It's exposure to sun. It's the gut health and bowel movements." And bowels are my business. I mean, and they're your business too. I mean, it's so important to have a healthy cleansing system. And so unfortunately Louis Pasteur's theory won out and it became the foundation, one of the foundational pillars of modern medicine.

So people are afraid of germs and they don't understand fully the importance of the terrain and gut health and all the things we can do to make our bodies less susceptible to pathogenic invading organisms. Every bite of food, every meal is 200, 300,000 pathogens in terms of bacteria and viruses. And they have to live in our body in a symbiotic way. And as long as we have... We don't eat too much sugar and we are eating natural foods and taking in what mother nature designed us to eat and thrive on, when we do that, we have this balanced gut flora. We have harmony in there. But if we don't, we get these organisms that have a chance to overgrow. And then once our gut gets destroyed or weakened, our immune system, as I said, is headquartered in our gut. So now we have a weakened immune system, and now we're more susceptible to illnesses.

I so wish Antoine Béchamp had won the day. We'd be in a very different place right now, but I think it's time for people to stop this... I saw a quote the other day, life begins when fear ends. And it's like, we can't be fearful because the government and whoever the powers would be that are orchestrating a lot of this, they want us to stay in a state of fear so we'll listen to everything the so-called experts say. But we are, as you started off saying, we're sovereign beings. We can do our own research. We can do our own due diligence. And it is our responsibility as parents to really get out of this fear mongering, fear porn, and sit down with our kids and explain about health and mother nature and all the good things that they can do to keep their body strong. So they're not walking around fear. I don't wear a mask and I see kids ducking sometimes when I walk by like I'm the bearer of some sort of horrific disease that they're going to get

Andrea Olson:

Or they stay away from you because they think something's wrong with them. And the thing is we are not, we are not to be feared. They want us to be divided. They want us to be fighting amongst ourselves. They want us to be distracted and disturbed. And it is definitely what Dr. Malone called Mass, what was it?

Maureen McDonald:

Mass Formation Psychosis.

Andrea Olson:

Mass Formation Psychosis. So I would not Google that. In fact, I would not Google anything you're hearing on today's episode because you're going to get a curated answer just to be honest. They want us to be divided. They want... I don't know. There's a lot of things that I don't even understand what they want because it doesn't vibe with the way I try to live my life as a sovereign person. I also want to add that when babies are born, we have a really big spike in C-section birth, cesarean birth prevents the baby from going through the birth canal, like not, emergency oriented. I'm saying like elective C-section or something that a doctor's intervention has caused a C-section. They don't get the beneficial bacteria rush that they get when they go through the birth canal when they're born through C-section. So from the very, very beginning, we need to provide that really good, positive, bacterial and viral environment for these children to thrive.

That basically starts to form their immune system as they go through the birth canal. And everybody listening knows that I'm very much into natural birth. I've done it with all five of mine and done two free births. So I think that the way we start off our babies matters. And I think that I've done delayed vaccination with all five of mine. And once I saw 1986: The Act, I changed my mind because luckily thank God, none of them have been damaged. Although my oldest has Asperger's and it's questionable as to whether those made it worse. I think they probably did. We will be doing a heavy metal detox for all of them, including myself and just making different decisions now that I have more information. It's like, I think Maya Angelou said this, when you know better, you do better.

Maureen McDonald:

Right.

Maureen McDonald:

Well, there are five organizations in the world that were named Spreaders of Misinformation, which I think that qualifies them as being experts on that very topic. And Children's Health Defense, you can go to their website, chd.org, National Vaccine Information Center, which was started by Barbara Loe Fisher after her son became very ill, after the DPT shot, she wrote a book called A Shot in the Dark, and then she founded National Vaccine Information Center. Great information in there in terms of what's been shown to be detrimental with the vaccines, any safety studies, minimal that have been done, or you'll have access to that there. And then Millions Against Medical Mandates. We try to reach what we call the movable middle. So obviously I may appear extreme and I probably am to many people, but there are a lot of people who are wavering, who thought a certain way at one point, and now they're scratching their heads saying, "I'm not so sure all this makes sense anymore."

So a lot of the material we have on the Millions Against Medical Mandates website are for people who are just beginning to question what is so detrimental about masking ourselves and our children? What is the problem with the COVID injection and what are these early treatments that are so effective? And the list goes on and on. The other two websites were Del Bigtree. If you haven't watched The HighWire, just go to thehighwire.com. Del has done a Herculean effort to educate all of us about what's going on politically and legislatively and medically, and even psychologically and emotionally for our children. That's a big part of what he talks about. And the last one is Dr. Mercola, Dr. Mercola has the most popular health oriented website in the world. He's experienced extreme as we all have, incredibly extreme censorship.

So we can't put anything up on social media anymore. MAMM can't or if you try to share something, it'll be blocked immediately. So you do have to go to the website to get the information you need. But I agree, I think that's a big part of what we do. We want to educate and inspire people. We want to equip them with the tools they need to be able to articulate what's going on and then to feel empowered so they can go on and share this information with others. Because really it's going to be up to us, no special expert or agency or health agency that we've entrusted our children and our health too is going to save us. I really think it comes from our own self-education, self-awareness and then connecting with like-minded people. Like tuning into podcasts like this and finding people like Andrea and I just met a few months ago and it's so wonderful to connect with people who have the same values and are on this search for a deeper understanding of what's really going on.

Andrea Olson:

Right. Absolutely. Well, thank you for all those resources. We forgot one thing. How this affects the female. Since we have childbearing year women, my audience is mostly childbearing year women, right? Can you briefly just mentioned before we wrap up about those studies that you've been a part of.

Maureen McDonald:

Okay. Well let me just say that the MAMM's director of strategy, Tiffany Holm was involved early on when the injections first started being administered and there were 22,000 women on a Facebook group that were reporting menstrual irregularities, still birth, miscarriages, heavy, heavy cloting and even something called decidual cast shedding, where the entire lining of your uterus comes out in one glob. It's not fun to talk about. It's not fun to experience. It's rare. Very, very rare. Well from that Facebook page, that group was completely wiped out. Facebook took it off and women had no place to really, really share with others what was going on. So we, Millions Against Medical Mandates, created a survey and a very robust survey asking very detailed questions. We worked with some medical doctors and PhDs on the survey and we had over 7,000 people fill out this survey and we are seeing... We're analyzing it now.

It will be published. Dr. McCullough is one of the people that is joining us in the publication of this data. And it's really startling how many people have, some of them from receiving the injection and some just being exposed to someone who received the injection. But the infertility rates are up. We know the spike protein has an affinity to the ovaries. So Pfizer tells us that on page 64 of their documents, that in terms of their trials, that it definitely has an affinity there. So it's affecting our fertility. And then there's all these menstrual regularities, which of course that's impacting fertility. And this decidual cast shedding is just obviously you can't embed a placenta in the part of the uterus that gets completely shed.

So there's some major issues. I just saw recently a couple articles came out saying it's very mild impact on the menstrual cycle and that we shouldn't be concerned. Based on the data that we have and the analysis we're doing, and soon the publication will be out, that is completely erroneous and women really need to... Been around so many decades that I have seen women's issues be dismissed by our society and our culture. And I don't think any of us should stand for it. So we're demanding the truth and we're going to be publishing what the truth is. And I think women need to be aware and concerned about the fertility component of these injections.

Andrea Olson:

Yeah. And they're also minimizing myocarditis saying that that's very mild. Like how is that mild? Dr. Malone's interview with Joe Rogan, he goes in depth about how the mRNA does not stay localized, where they thought it would.

Maureen McDonald:

No.

Andrea Olson:

And it goes directly to the ovaries in women, girls. So if you guys, I have two girls, we have already educated them about this, just so that they know in their lifetime, that if they are confronted with this type of technology to stay away from it, to protect their ability to have children. Also miscarriages, I remember a lot of reports of miscarriages happening, spontaneous miscarriages, even late term because of having had the vaccine. Now, remember, you guys there are no long term studies on any of this stuff. It's all experimental, it's all been rushed. And basically the fact that the FDA asked Pfizer to submit an application for authorization for the 6 month to 5 year olds is pretty wild. Because in December, 2021, Pfizer announced the two dose series wasn't successful and did not provide immunity in two to five year olds. And they began trials for the three dose series. So it's premature for the FDA to be asking Pfizer, but also why is our government asking Pfizer to submit an application?

Maureen McDonald:

And also...

Andrea Olson:

That's backwards to me.

Maureen McDonald:

Yes. And antibody production is not the equivalent of protection. Just because it triggers antibodies does not mean it's protecting you. And that's what people have to understand too. Like you said, earlier, many people in ICU right now are the vaccinated and people have to understand that people who receive this vaccine, it's right in the literature, when you can get ahold of the literature, that it does not prevent transmission.

Andrea Olson:

Right.

Maureen McDonald:

So if you are a person who received this vaccine, you can still transmit the illness. You can still get the illness and you can actually get very sick from the illness.

Andrea Olson:

You can get more sick from it after having the vaccine.

Maureen McDonald:

Right.

Andrea Olson:

They've proven that as well. Yes.

Maureen McDonald:

But what they're trying to do again is you mentioned earlier to divide us like the unvaccinated are the dirty people of society and the people who don't care about the greater good versus the vaccinated who are doing things in the right way. And I think people again, have to connect the dots and look at what's really going on is that they're not telling people the whole truth. They're not putting on mainstream media that the vaccinated can spread this illness at just as easily as anybody else, if not more so.

Andrea Olson:

Right. They're withholding the truth or withholding the treatments that actually work. There is a whole nother way to go about this, but it doesn't include a giant bottom line. And all people listening to this podcast know that if we potty train our kids a year earlier, on average, the diaper companies lose billions of dollars. What would the pharmaceutical company lose if we were to disallow them to make these decisions? If we were to remove them from our parenting and make our own decisions based on actual, real scientific data, how much money would the pharmaceutical companies lose? That's something to think about. So the fact that, so standforhealthfreedom.com is where I filled out the submission to the FDA.

They want to vote on authorization for the vaccine on our youngest, most vulnerable children already, knowing it's not effective and without safety data. Already knowing that the CDC says 99.99815% of children who contract COVID survive. Children aren't the spreaders. They aren't long term safety studies. Thirty-six thousand, one hundred sixty seven (36,167) adverse reactions reported in children under 18 as of February 4th, 2022. That's in the VAERS system. So with all of this information, I think it's our right to question to gather information. And me personally, I will not judge you if you decide to for or against any of this stuff. I strongly believe that it is each person's decision to make about their own body and the bodies of their children. So I just want to kind of end with that, that even with potty training, I don't care if you do EC or not.

You've been informed about the possibilities across the age of your babies. You then get to decide based on your own opinion, lifestyle, et cetera, what you want to do with your child. And I will support that. I will not engage in the division. I will not have that. And if you want to send me something positive from this podcast, go ahead and email to me. If you want to send me something negative, think twice, because that's what they want you to do. And if we participate in that, then we're just going to be more and more divided. And right now we really need each other. So I just want to leave with that sentiment of, I have no judgment, do your due diligence. Don't look, I mean, look further than mainstream media, look further than NPR and Google. You're going to need to look at what they...

Maureen McDonald:

And your pediatrician.

Andrea Olson:

And your pediatrician. Yes, because there's a lot of money stuff going on there too. So look beyond all of that. What they call far right. I've been accused of being far right. I'm nothing more than right down the middle as far as I'm concerned. But I'm all about freedom and wanting to maintain that for my children and raise them in a world where they can be their sovereign biggest, best self and leaders and healthy. So if that makes me far right, so be it. But look at other sources of information like Epoch Times, Epoch. That's one that I go to a lot. And for comic relief, I go to JP Sears because he makes fun of all of this stuff. But you actually get really good news from him as well. Maureen, if you do you have any final comments?

Maureen McDonald:

Yes. I really appreciate being a guest in your podcast. And I'm officially inviting you to be a guest on my podcast, which is called Fiercely Pursuing the Truth. And I've had Dr. Michelle Perro and Dr. Larry Palevsky, which again is on the MAMM website, they're holistic pediatricians, who really, we talk in depth about this subject. So if people want to know more, they can go to the podcast on the MAMM website. But no, I'm totally in alignment with what you're saying, that just, I would encourage parents not to abdicate responsibility to any so-called expert because we're in strange times. And we're being fed strange information and we have to trust our guts and we have to do our own research. Our kids will lead the way in terms of what they need if we really tune in. And mother nature is there to guide us. So, yeah, I'm very happy to be with you today and yeah, I look forward to having you on my podcast.

Andrea Olson:

Oh, I can't wait. I cannot wait. That'll be wonderful. Thank you so much, Maureen, for joining us today. It's been a pleasure.

Maureen McDonald:

Thank you.

Andrea Olson:

Wow. What an amazing interview. I hope you guys all got something out of that. And again, if this is something super triggering for you that is a sign that means look into it further. Really look into it from alternative sources and see that you think.

I hope you enjoyed this. I hope you learned something new. Please visit godiaperfree.com/180.5 for the show notes including the full transcript and links to everything that we discussed in today’s interview. Thanks so much.

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Original article in English written by Andrea Olson

Oggi parleremo di cosa fare se il tuo bambino fa pipì cinque minuti dopo avergli offerto il vasino, quando pratichi Elimination Communication.

Ti è mai successo? Lo accompagni al vasino, lui non fa nulla, ma poi rilascia la pipì cinque minuti dopo nel pannolino o sul pavimento.

Probabilmente la maggior parte di voi sta annuendo con la testa, perché in realtà è molto comune. Pertanto parleremo di alcuni dei motivi per cui ciò potrebbe accadere e di cosa si può fare al riguardo.

Oggi imparerai: * Come ritrovare la sintonia con il tuo bambino * Come affrontare questi momenti mentre siete ancora in bagno * Provare a cambiare modalità o vasino (passare allo step successivo) * Capire se il suo atteggiamento è legato alla sua crescita e come rispondere coerentemente (ovvero come la crescita del tuo bambino si inserisce nel quadro) * Provare a proporre di fare la pipì all’aperto (o vedere se facendo questo la situazione peggiora).

La posizione classica per EC accovacciata:

Link e altre risorse menzionate oggi: * Il libro Go Diaper Free per Elimination Communication dai 0 ai 18 mesi (in inglese) * Il libro Tiny Potty Training per guidare nel processo di svezzamento da pannolino dai 18 mesi * Il Registro per l’Osservazione (ricevilo gratuitamente scrivendo un messaggio privato alla pagina Fb Go Diaper Free Italia) * Articolo del Blog “Getting Back on Track with EC” (Ritrovare la strada con la pratica di EC) * Articolo del Blog “Passare il testimone” * Articolo del Blog “Won't sit” (Non vuole sedersi...sul vasino) * Articolo del Blog “Moving from in-arms to a potty” (Dalla posizione in braccio a seduto sul vasino) * Articolo del Blog “Transitioning to the Big Toilet” (Il passaggio all’uso del water) * Articolo del Blog “The Ultimate Guide to EC Backups” (La guida definitiva ai supporti per la pratica di EC) * Specchietto magnetico * Riduttore per il WC * Il vasino a cilindro da usare con bambini piccoli nella posizione fisiologica in braccio (digita il codice “Diana5” per avere uno sconto) * Il vasino piccolo eKing di eKoala per bambini per bambini che possono raggiungere la posizione seduta senza assistenza(digita il codice “GODIAPERFREE” per avere uno sconto) * la Guida Essenziale per praticare EC (ricevila gratuitamente scrivendo un messaggio privato alla pagina Fb Go Diaper Free Italia)

Leggi la trascrizione scritta completa Expand

Benvenuti nel Blog Go Diaper Free, dove ci impegniamo per aiutarvi con l’educazione al vasino fin dalla nascita. Sono Andrea Olson, autrice e mamma di cinque bambini con cui ho praticato EC. Questo articolo si intitola “La pipì dei 5 minuti dopo: ecco cosa fare se ti capita”.

Sono così entusiasta di tutti i feedback positivi che ricevo con i miei podcast e articoli del blog. Se volessi aiutarci a diffondere queste informazioni, te ne sarei grata, in particolare aiuteresti più persone a scoprire la pratica di EC, il che è davvero un dono prezioso. Oggi parleremo di cosa fare se al tuo bambino viene offerto il vasino, non fa nulla e dopo cinque minuti rilascia la pipì sul pavimento o nel pannolino. Può essere una situazione davvero frustrante, ma sappi che è molto più comune di quanto immagini. Ti mostrerò alcuni motivi per cui questo accade e cosa puoi fare in merito.

La prima ragione è che il bambino è cresciuto, la sua vescica è ovviamente più grande e può contenere una quantità maggiore di urina, e il lasso di tempo tra una pipì e l’altra si è allungato, è naturale. Diventando più grandi, i nostri figli possono trattenere la pipì sempre più a lungo passando dalla fase di neonati, bebè che sanno spostarsi, poi camminare e infine dei bambini più grandi, diciamo. Questo succede anche al tuo bambino o alla tua bambina, e che tu ci creda o no questo è un processo che avviene abbastanza rapidamente. Può darsi che la settimana scorsa gli scappasse ogni 20 minuti, e che questa settimana riesca a trattenerla anche 45 minuti. Il ritmo naturale può fare dei balzi in avanti ed espandersi all’improvviso in alcuni passaggi. Può perfino ridursi in alcuni momenti, per vari motivi.

Quindi, dal momento che i bambini crescono, le vesciche diventano più capienti e il tempo naturale di trattenimento della pipì si espande, ti posso suggerire come comportarti per accogliere questi cambiamenti. Puoi fare osservazione. Per questa attività puoi utilizzare il mio Registro per l’Osservazione gratuito. Richiedilo scrivendo un messaggio privato alla pagina Fb Go Diaper Free Italia: ti può aiutare molto. Stampalo. Magari lo avevi già usato in passato: inizia a compilarne uno nuovo. L’osservazione ti permetterà di aggiornare la tua conoscenza dei ritmi naturali del tuo bambino, quanto spesso elimina ora rispetto all'ultima volta che hai controllato, (magari non l’avevi mai fatto prima, magari invece si tratta di sei mesi fa). Se il tuo bambino fa pipì cinque minuti dopo avergli offerto il vasino, di solito è perché i suoi tempi naturali si sono ampliati e non te ne sei accorto. Ho già parlato di ritrovare la rotta con la pratica nell’articolo Getting back on track with EC se cerchi altri suggerimenti.

Già solo con l’osservazione le cose dovrebbero migliorare. Ma se non dovesse accadere, ci sono altri quattro motivi per cui tuo bambino potrebbe continuare a fare “la pipì dei 5 minuti dopo”. Il primo è che sta sperimentando quanto tempo può trattenerla ora: è nel pieno dell’esplorazione del suo corpo e di ciò che riesce a fare autonomamente. Prima impara a rotolare, poi a sedersi e a gattonare (più o meno in quest’ordine) e infine padroneggia sempre meglio i suoi spostamenti da solo. Ad un certo punto, si accorge che può effettivamente trattenere la pipì un po’ di più, e poi vedere per quanto tempo può riuscirci e quindi farla uscire ogni volta che ne ha voglia.

È del tutto normale che un bebè intorno ai 6 e agli 8 mesi (ma non c’è un’età uguale per tutti, è solo indicativa)

faccia questo. Può iniziare a sperimentare per quanto tempo la tiene coscientemente, vedere come reagisci tu, e vedere come si comporta il suo corpo quando la rilascia. È un momento davvero straordinario per la sua crescita. Significa che il tuo bambino si sta decisamente avvicinando all'indipendenza, anche se mancano ancora 6, 8 o 12 mesi. E questo è solo l’inizio, voglio ricordartelo. Ti suggerisco di leggere l’articolo Passare il testimone per imparare ad accompagnarlo gradualmente in questi suoi esperimenti.

Una soluzione per lasciarlo fare esperienza e guidarlo con la pipì dei 5 minuti dopo è chiudere la porta quando siete in bagno. Lo svesti togliendogli i pantaloni, lo avvicini al mini vasino dicendogli “Voglio che tu faccia qui la tua pipì” e poi lo ignori fingendo di essere molto occupata a fare altro, in modo che la tua attenzione non sia focalizzata sul bambino e lui si senta di avere la sua privacy, anche se sei nella stessa stanza con lui. Se hai bisogno di un mini vasino davvero basso che il tuo bimbo possa usare in totale indipendenza, trovi il link nelle note. Solitamente dai sei mesi riescono a sedersi da soli e soprattutto possono toccare con i piedi per terra.

Ricapitolando, siete insieme in bagno con la porta chiusa. Il tuo bimbo è senza pantaloni accanto al vasino, può restare in piedi e non sedersi, o magari sedersi e rialzarsi subito. Ho approfondito questo argomento nell’articolo Won’t sit per un quadro più preciso, se ti interessa. Forse fa la pipì sul pavimento del bagno cinque minuti dopo. Beh, almeno è in bagno, questo è già un buon passo, e il tappeto del soggiorno è sano e salvo! Ma magari può fare la pipì nel vasino, perché gli abbiamo lasciato la sua privacy. A volte infatti questo unito al fatto di avere il vasino giusto è la combinazione ideale per far smettere al tuo bambino di fare la pipì dei cinque minuti dopo. Se poi ci sommiamo anche la volontà del bambino di fare da solo, di lavorare sull’equilibrio e la coordinazione motoria di come alzarsi, sedersi, rialzarsi, e risedersi, salire sul vasino e lavorare su questo compito evolutivo un milione di volte, allora ci accorgiamo davvero di quanto stia imparando.

Non avrà alcun senso per te il perché lo stia facendo, ma la realtà è che questo è ciò che fanno i bambini. Come genitori, vogliamo dare loro l'opportunità di ripetere queste azioni per apprendere, perché stanno sperimentando quanto tempo possono trattenere la pipì ora, perché vogliono rilasciarla quando sentono che sono loro a decidere di farlo e perché questo è il loro corpo e possono farlo funzionare come desiderano. Questo è l'inizio di un viaggio emozionante per loro. Noi possiamo fare la nostra parte chiudendo quella porta in modo che accada all'interno del bagno e dare privacy in modo che possano davvero sentirsi liberi, senza la nostra presenza che li pressa e controlla di continuo, e favorire così questo processo.

Un altro motivo per cui il bambino oppone resistenza al vasino oppure fa pipì cinque minuti dopo che gli è stato offerto, è che probabilmente il bambino è più grande ora ed è interessato ad altro, oltre al vasino. Quindi forse vuole solo tirarsi su aggrappandosi ad ogni mobile del soggiorno o prendere confidenza con l’arte dello strisciare giù dal divano o cercare di afferrare la coda del gatto. Tanti processi cognitivi avvengono nella sua mente, ed è attratto e immerso in altre attività.

Quindi che fare? Potresti offrirgli un oggetto interessante da tenere in mano ed esplorare o un giocattolo dedicato al momento in cui sta sul vasino. Ad esempio ogni volta che Twyla, che attualmente ha 10 mesi, si rifiuta di andare sul vasino, io la tengo in braccio nella posizione fisiologica. La spiegazione che mi sono data è che in questo momento lei non voglia andare sul vasino e non le piaccia ancora sedersi, perché ha appena iniziato ad alzarsi e a tenersi in equilibrio in piedi: è molto concentrata sullo sviluppo di questa abilità motoria. In queste occasioni ho cominciato a darle qualcosa che catturi la sua attenzione, come un elastico o una fascia per capelli, o qualcos’altro che trovo in bagno. Insomma le porgo qualcosa da tenere in mano mentre la sorreggo sul lavandino, lei lo afferra, io faccio scorrere l’acqua, lei si rilassa. Uso uno specchietto appoggiato sul lavandino o sul water, che mi permette di sapere quando rilascia la pipì e quando ha finito. E mentre la fa, sussurro “pss”. Lo ammetto a volte uso il lavandino come recipiente, se pratichi EC non mi giudicherai per questo. Comunque, di solito fa pipì dopo che le è stato dato qualcosa da afferrare e osservare, e di solito ne fa tanta.

Tieni presente che questo rifiuto del vasino a cui segue una pipì 5 minuti dopo è una cosa temporanea e non durerà per sempre. Quindi, per superare questo momento, puoi dare al tuo bimbo o alla tua bimba qualcosa da tenere in mano mentre siede sul riduttore del water o sul vasino piccolo. Consiglio un oggetto interessante che attiri la sua curiosità perché non ci gioca quasi mai. Oppure puoi optare per un giocattolo che usa solo sul vasino, ma fai attenzione a quando diventa una distrazione così grande da non essere più utile allo scopo. A quel punto è meglio sostituire il giocattolo con qualcos'altro o smettere di usarlo e dire semplicemente la verità: "Ehi, voglio che tu faccia la pipì/cacca sul vasino e poi torneremo a giocare".

Un altro rimedio temporaneo, perché non dura molto a lungo ma può aiutare a superare il momento di difficoltà e farti entusiasmare alla pratica di EC, è uscire all’aperto e reggere il tuo bambino nella classica posizione fisiologica mentre sei accovacciata, proprio come nella foto che vedi all’inizio dell’articolo. La pipì all’aperto consente un cambiamento di scenario che rompe lo schema della tipica routine del vasino e di conseguenza del suo rifiuto, mentre tuo figlio sta esercitando la sua indipendenza.

Un altro motivo per cui il bambino potrebbe opporre resistenza e poi fare pipì cinque minuti dopo o semplicemente non fare nulla mentre gli proponi il vasino e poi rilasciare la pipì dopo cinque minuti è che potrebbe volere il controllo sull’intero processo. E non solo un po', ma molto più controllo di prima. Se questo è il suo bisogno, la nostra risposta è di accompagnarlo e insegnargli alcuni passaggi per poter fare da solo con il vasino, in base alle sue capacità. Se ti stai chiedendo come fare, trovi più informazioni nell’articolo Passare il testimone. Oppure ne parlo in modo approfondito nel mio libro nella sezione "Building Blocks to Potty Independence" (“Abilità essenziali verso l’indipendenza” nella versione italiana), e questo è un motivo in più per leggerlo.

Se stai provando a praticare EC usando le informazioni gratuite del mio Blog o altro, e non ti sembra ancora del tutto di riuscire a padroneggiare la pratica, ti esorto a procurarti il mio libro, perché lì dentro trovi letteralmente tutto ciò di cui hai bisogno per percorrere una strada più fluida ed efficace con la pratica di EC, incluso cosa insegnare e quando. Altrimenti, va bene lo stesso. Fai ciò che senti più opportuno per te!

E ora l'ultimo motivo per cui il bambino potrebbe fare pipì cinque minuti dopo che gli è stato offerto il vasino: forse desidera un cambiamento o una promozione, cioè avanzare oltre proprio perché vuole maggior controllo. Potremmo provare a passare dal tenerlo in braccio ad accompagnarlo a sedersi sul suo vasino piccolo, o sostituire il vasino piccolo con uno più grande o con il water con un riduttore, o semplicemente fargli indossare un supporto diverso. Forse il bambino vuole che l'acqua scorra adesso, o non vuole più che scorra, o vuole usare le parole o il linguaggio dei segni. Sta chiedendo di cambiare qualcosa. Puoi iniziare dal tipo di vasino o vedere se vuole usare anche lui il water come i grandi, perché magari è stanco del vasino per bambini. Questo può essere assolutamente un motivo valido. Nelle note trovate il link ad altri due articoli in cui parlo del passaggio dalla posizione in braccio allo star seduto sul vasino e di quello dal vasino all’uso del water. Il punto qui è che un piccolo cambiamento può fare una grande differenza. A volte il bambino ce lo fa capire facendo pipì cinque minuti dopo, quindi come genitori desideriamo sicuramente onorarlo e lavorare insieme per trovare una soluzione.

Questo è tutto per oggi, per concludere, condivido anche un consiglio da una lettrice. Linda di Tustin ha iniziato la pratica di EC a quattro mesi e mezzo e ha scritto questo quando il bambino aveva 16 mesi. Il suo sito web è lindarife.com

Dice: "Il mio consiglio più grande si basa sulla mia esperienza e su ciò di cui ho sentito parlare altri genitori nei vari gruppi Facebook di EC di cui faccio parte. La mia impressione è che alcuni genitori si avvicinino alla pratica passando molto tempo senza pannolino. Poi però hanno problemi quando vogliono concludere con EC. Così facendo il bambino essenzialmente ha imparato che il pavimento è il luogo in cui rilasciare i bisogni. Trascorrere molto tempo senza pannolino non è un male in sé e per sé, ma ho la sensazione che dovrebbe essere fatto solo quando puoi concentrare tutta la tua attenzione sul tuo bambino per tutto quel tempo, in modo che quando da segnali o inizia a fare la pipì, puoi accompagnarlo immediatamente al vasino.

Ho letto di tanti genitori che hanno passato molto tempo a pulire pipì dal pavimento e alcuni che hanno detto che per ovviare hanno semplicemente lasciato andare il loro bambino in giardino per farla lì. Ma anche in questo caso, poi hanno problemi quando vogliono concludere con la pratica e togliere il pannolino del tutto. In che modo fare così è diverso rispetto ad abituare il bambino a usare il pannolino come un water per raccogliere i loro bisogni? Penso che sia importante ricordare che EC sta per comunicazione dei bisogni di eliminazione. La parte importante qui è proprio comunicare con tuo figlio e insegnargli dove va la pipì. Anche se le occasioni mancate possono accadere, è importante per noi rispondere immediatamente e comunicargli che vogliamo che facciano la pipì nel vasino".

È una condivisione davvero preziosa, Linda. Grazie mille per aver offerto questo suggerimento a tutti i nostri lettori. Dobbiamo solo concentrarci sulla comunicazione. E ricordarci: “Cosa stiamo cercando di insegnare qui?” Quindi, anche se abbiamo un rimedio temporaneo che aiuta con la pipì dei cinque minuti dopo e che ci permette di superare questa situazione, vogliamo sempre tenere a mente e tornare a dove vogliamo che vada la pipì e riconoscere i segnali di quando gli scappa. Il nostro obiettivo è appunto allinearci con i nostri figli attraverso un ascolto autentico, sintonizzarci con loro in questa comunicazione bidirezionale. Quindi grazie per averlo fatto presente, Linda.

E grazie anche a tutti voi per essere arrivati alla fine di questo articolo. Vi esorto a seguire la pagina Fb Go Diaper Free Italia per essere sempre aggiornati sui nuovi articoli che pubblichiamo in italiano su questo Blog.

E a lasciare un commento con consigli, considerazioni o domande in merito alla tematica affrontata. Rispondiamo a tutti, e non vediamo l'ora di leggervi. Per ora è tutto e vi auguro una fantastica settimana.

Guarda la versione video (in inglese) Se vuoi guardarmi registrare l'episodio del podcast di oggi, puoi farlo nella versione video su YouTube (in inglese):

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The post La pipì dei 5 minuti dopo: ecco cosa fare se ti capita! appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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Best-selling author Melissa Ambrosini shares her EC and first-time motherhood journey, including the hardest part (and how she overcame it!), her favorite EC tool, and her best piece of wisdom for new and seasoned mamas alike on EC, motherhood, and life!

You will hear: * what first attracted Melissa to EC * Melissa's favorite part of doing EC with her baby * the hardest part of EC for Melissa and how she overcame it! * Melissa's must-have tool for EC * Melissa's plan for ditching daytime diapers * coming soon: a Young Toddler’s Course * THE thing Melissa would tell new moms about EC, motherhood, and life!

Links and other resources mentioned today: * Melissa Ambrosini (website) * Melissa Ambrosini (instagram) * Andrea’s interview with Melissa * Open Wide * The Go Diaper Free Book * Top Hat Potty

Download the Transcript If you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: Melissa Ambrosini on doing Elimination Communication with her baby: Australian author and mum shares about EC, and more!

Read the full written transcript Expand

So today you guys, we have another interview. I know I hardly ever do interviews, but now that my babies have grown up a tiny bit, I can finally schedule my life a little bit better. So today, I have on the show, a very special guest, Melissa Ambrosini is the bestselling author of Mastering Your Mean Girl, Open Wide, and PurposeFULL. She's the host of the top rated podcast, The Melissa Ambrosini Show, which currently has 18 million downloads. She's a keynote speaker and an entrepreneur, and she lives down under in Australia. And El Magazine named her a self-help guru.

This woman is on a mission to inspire other people, to unlock their full potential and live their dream life. And she is beautiful inside and out. I absolutely adore Melissa. A little backstory. Melissa invited me on her podcast back when she was pregnant. Her baby is now nine months old, and she interviewed me because she wanted to learn more about EC. And I was just completely flattered. I was so excited just to share this with her and her audience. And that episode is number 401 on her podcast. If you want to go check it out, it's really good. She's a great interviewer. And that aired on June 8th, 2021.

So anyway, came back around and she's DMed me a few times on Instagram. "Hey, we're a little stuck here. Will you do this?" In any case, she actually took what I taught her and shared with her and she read my book and got my potty and she implemented it with her baby. So today we're going to talk about that and we're going to talk about a million other things. So I hope you really thoroughly enjoy this. You can go see the show notes, including a full transcript of this podcast episode over at godiaperfree.com/180. And here goes the interview. I hope you enjoy it.

Hey there. Welcome to the Go Diaper Free podcast. I'm Andrea Olson, your host, author, and mom of five babies, all ECed from birth, all out of diapers by walking.

Andrea Olsen:

You guys, I am so excited to have our newest guest on this show, Melissa Ambrosini. I have no idea how I even ended up on your show last year, but it was such an honor. You asked me all about EC, and then not only did you ask me about it for your audience, but you then implemented it with your baby and reached out to me in DMs being like, "Could you please help me?" And I was just so honored, I'm so honored to be part of your journey. So welcome to the show, Melissa.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Thank you for having me, darling. And it's been such an amazing journey and I'm so grateful to have you by my side through this journey.

Andrea Olsen:

Absolutely. And it's so crazy. Everybody listening is probably like, "How come she gets Andrea on text and I can't do that?" So, I know I'm making you guys really jealous. I'm sorry. But it helps me practice and stay on top of what's going on with EC real time with people today too. And then I have limited time because I have five babies. So when you reach out to me for help, which I encourage you to always do, I am just so honored and I get to practice my chops, so it's super fun. But some people might not know who you are since we're over here in the States. So I would love for you to introduce yourself, to share a little bit about yourself, what you do, where you live and what you love.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Okay. So hi everybody. I'm so honored to be here to talk about something that I'm really passionate about. But for those that have never come across me or my work, my name is Melissa Ambrosini and I write personal development self-help, motivational, inspirational books for women. I have four books out, Mastering Your Mean Girl, Open Wide, Comparisonitis, and an audible original called PurposeFULL. So I write books. I have my own podcast, The Melissa Ambrosini Show where I share my wisdom and interview epic humans like Andrea. And I do talks on motivation and living your best life and unlocking your full potential and moving past fear and being the best version of yourself. And I create online programs and eBooks and meditations and other products to help people be the best version of themselves. And I absolutely love what I do so much. I'm currently living in Australia in a beachy little town. I moved out of the city just before COVID, and I'm so glad I did. And I have a daughter who I gave birth to in 2021. And I have a 15 year old stepson and my husband and I love all things to do with being the best version of yourself and living your dream life.

Andrea Olsen:

I think you're one of the most amazing women I have ever met online, virtual of course. You guys, whenever I listen to Melissa talk, I'm just like, "Wow." It sounds like that wise inner voice in myself that comes out sometimes and she's amplifying all the things that we already know we should be doing, but she's like a big sister or best friend who's like, "Hey, you got this." And I appreciate you so much. You guys, you should definitely follow her show. She has a huge following and it's just imparting this wonderful truth and wisdom to the world, which I'm all about. Truth, freedom, wisdom, all the things that free us. So, awesome. Welcome.

And you guys also know that I rarely interview anybody, but as my youngest is now three, I now have more capacity to actually have a schedule and meet up with people and do things that normal people do. So just a few amazing women on our podcast. And I just can't wait to hear your story and about all the EC things. So how old is your baby girl right now?

Melissa Ambrosini:

She's almost 9 months old. When we recorded this, it was nine months.

Andrea Olsen:

Awesome. And where did you, or who did you hear about EC from?

Melissa Ambrosini:

I first heard about it from another girl that I follow on Instagram. I actually can't remember where-

Andrea Olsen:

Is it Montana?

Melissa Ambrosini:

It might be Montana Fox, who's also Australian. And I think that was where I first heard. I may have heard about it before and then I saw her talk about it and then it kind of instilled in me, "Yes, this is something that I want to do." But I did think I heard about it a bit before that and I can't remember where. And watching her share about EC, her and her husband share about EC with their little daughter Blue.

Andrea Olsen:

Yes. It was Montana. Yes, Montana Lower. Yes.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Yes. I think it was way before I was even pregnant, I was like, "That's what I'm going to do."

Andrea Olsen:

See she even sneezes cute. I'm not cutting that out, that was adorable. So Montana Lower, I remember when she posted about it and she had our potty from Tiny Undies, and I was like, "Oh my gosh, that's our potty." And she did a little shout out, because I was like, "Why do I have thousands more Instagram followers today? I don't know what happened." It was Montana's fault. So she talked about it. And what about it resonated? What caught your ear? Why were you like, oh my gosh, I have to do this?

Melissa Ambrosini:

Nature. Going back to nature. And for me, I'd never understood why you would teach a baby to do something. For example, why you would teach a baby to poo in their nappy and then unteach them, why you teach them to play with their food, and then you say, "Don't play with your food." Why you teach them to do all of these things and then you have to unteach. And I thought, "Am I just creating more work for myself?" We teach them to have dummies and to swaddle them and then we take those things away. So that always kind of played in my mind like, "Why not set them up from the get-go with how it's going to be?" They're not going to have a dummy or a pacifier for their whole life. So I was like, "Why would I give that to her?" I mean, everyone is different, but that just is what resonated with me.

And I read a lot about it and I thought, "Would I like to go to the toilet in my own pants?" And the answer is no. Absolutely no, I would not. And listening to your work and reading your books, I've read your book, cover to cover before I was pregnant. And I just thought, "This is what I want to do." And so I wanted to do that with her as soon as possible. The first three months, I was literally just getting my head around being a first-time mom. And I honestly thought in that time, there's no way I could add EC to the equation right now. And that was just for me personally. I was like, "I'm just trying to get my head around all of the things and the boobs and the engorgement and the nipples and the nipples shields and all of this stuff. But then literally, I feel like at six weeks, the clouds opened up, and I was like, "Oh my gosh." I felt like I had landed back in my body a bit more. And then when she hit three months, I was like, "Ugh." I felt like I'd fully landed more so in my body.

And literally, she hit 3 months and I turned to Nick and I was like, "I'm ready for EC." And he was like, "Okay, let's do it." And we literally started. And on day one, she did a poo and a wee in the potty. And we have been doing it every day since, and she knows. I don't think we give babies enough credit. They are so intelligent. They know everything. They just need us to guide them and to support them and hold space for them. But they know. She knows that as soon as she sits there, she goes to the toilet, and it's just such a beautiful thing.

Andrea Olsen:

Yeah. Because you're teaching... Well basically, it's based on human development, the way we're created, so there's no friction. It's like, we're designed this way, when you were ready, you picked that up, she was right with you. And for you, it sounds like it was just a matter of, "We're going to start the way we want to go on. We mean to go on this way, so we're just going to start that way." And it's wonderful that you had so much compassion for yourself too, and your recovery after birth. Becoming a new mom for the first time is no joke. It is, whoa! Talk about completely flipping your entire life upside down, especially a massively productive and just effective person in the world. You're not just sitting around being lazy and doing nothing. You're a go-getter and then errr hello, baby, and all the new things.

So starting when you are ready, that's such a good inspiration for everybody who is just so hard on themselves. "I didn't start right at birth like you, Andrea. I feel like a bad mom. No, you sound like, you're just like, "Okay, I got to master the basics and being here..." And you guys were in your fourth trimester, so of course the baby is coming into herself. You're coming into yourself as a mom, and it makes sense to start around that age. I just had a class today, 0 to 3 months, it's like 40% of people were starting during that window. And it's great that people are learning when they're pregnant, but you learned even before you were pregnant, which is kudos, man.

Melissa Ambrosini:

And something that also resonated deeply with me, my husband, like I shared before, he has a son, so he's been through all of this before. And I cannot tell you how helpful that was, because there were times where I was like, "What's going on?" He's like, "No, no. It's cool. Don't worry. She's fine." So I had him to kind of bring me back down, which is amazing.

But we spoke about this before she was here. We have never dumped her down or done baby talk. We use the correct words for our body parts, vulva, vagina, penis. We never did that with her, and we've always just spoken our truth and spoken correctly. And EC felt like just the right thing to do for us at that time. And I know people that have started, like Montana started at two weeks, and that felt good for her. And I want to encourage everyone to just do what feels right for you and start when it does feel right for you because everyone is so different. And you might have six other kids at home, and you might have no other kids at home, so you just really do have to start when it feels good for you.

Andrea Olsen:

Absolutely. And to take your example, also be educated about, "What am I getting myself into?" We don't have that passed down knowledge, right? We don't have that intact culture where we are learning just by being human. We have to go out and learn certain things, like breastfeeding. Sounds like you had a little bit of a whirlwind with that. You had to use a nipple shield? I can only imagine. There are things happening there, it's like, if we were just observing and watching... And even birth. My first birth experience was my own and I was terrified. Helping a baby sleep, all these things usually are passed down, so we have to go out and get resourced and then whenever we feel ready, it's time to do it. And I love that the very first day you had a pee and a poop, and the thought, it just inspires you to keep going. It's like that is a reward, and then you're like, "I can't turn back now."

Melissa Ambrosini:

Totally. And my husband and I are very eco-conscious, and we very much try to minimize our footprint that we are leaving on the planet. And so EC from a waste perspective made so much sense to us and a cost perspective and an environmental perspective. It just made so much sense. I get so much satisfaction out of not using as many wipes and as many diapers as other people. I get so much satisfaction out of that. Every time she poops in the toilet, in the potty, sorry, I'm like, "Yes, I just saved one more diaper." I get so much satisfaction out of that. I know, it's crazy.

Andrea Olsen:

I know how you feel. No, no, no. I totally know how you feel. And anybody listening who's just like, "Oh yeah." I completely feel that. I have had five kids and they've all been out of diapers by about one, instead of three which is the average age. So I've saved about 10,000 U.S dollars in diapers, which is massive. And I use cloth on a lot of them so I probably saved more than that, and then I found compostables. And you guys listen, there are so many ways to deal with so many different kinds of diapers.

But every time we would have one that we would re-use, we would re-use it until the tabs fell off, the disposable ones. It became a game, "How many times can we re-use this one?" And then when it finally gets thrown away, especially because it's compostable, there is very little impact compared to a family who doesn't have the resources or the knowledge to do something like this. Because to be honest, we're told to do the opposite. We're told to do it for 3 to 5 years because that's going to make those companies more money. That's basically why.

Melissa Ambrosini:

And you know what that is? It's so interesting, it's three. Is three the average age?

Andrea Olsen:

It is. Yes.

Melissa Ambrosini:

My mind is blown because I'm like, "They are so intelligent." They know way before that, but it makes sense that of course, the big companies want you to do it until 3. Of course, they do. Why? Because then you keep buying the wipes, you keep buying the diapers. And when you do EC as well, you use... Most of the time, I don't even need to use a wipe.

Andrea Olsen:

I know.

Melissa Ambrosini:

I don't need to do anything.

Andrea Olsen:

That’s today in my class. It's like, "That's a clean one." When you're eating pure... We're not eating so pure like they are when they're a newborn especially, but if you're feeding them really whole foods and all that, what comes out, comes out clean. Did they have toilet paper thousands of years ago? No. What did they do? Well, they had different diets for hunters and gatherers. They pooped clean ones all the time. They didn't have this constipation stuff that we have here. And yeah, I will put a little water on the bum, over the sink and maybe pat with a little butt towel. We call it a bum towel, not a hand towel because that's the baby's butt towel. You don't have to throw those away.

But the diaper companies don't get to make that money. And I just want to tell you, there's somebody who lives here in Asheville, North Carolina, who was an executive at Pampers for 35 years. He holds the patent on the diaper that has a little cut out for the umbilical cord. So he was way up there. And when I met him, I was like, "You're the enemy. I need to talk to you." So we had coffee, and I told him about EC, and he told me about... They just wanted to serve moms, but nobody would buy their diapers, so they did these scientific studies. Fake science, which is so... We're getting very familiar with that.

These days, what this fake science has said, "Yeah, you need to wait for readyness to potty train your baby." And this person worked for Pampers University. So this guy told me the truth about it all. And then he goes, "We went into ages and stages in the '90s, and that really blew up our revenue. And we really thought we were just serving moms." He said, "Now that you're telling me about EC, my mind is blown, and I feel like we might have gone too far." And then he wouldn't talk to me. He couldn't talk to me for five days. And I was like, "Come on, you got to come do a follow up with me. We just have to talk."

And he came back and he's like, "I really think we brought it too far." And he's no longer with the company. He's a shareholder, he's invested. But the guilt on his face when I told him how much our babies are just being wronged in this as a result of marketing and money mongering. I don't mean to go here, but you guys know me who are listening, there are real reasons why they want us to go till 3. And my youngest is 3. I can't imagine her pooping in her pants. And she's such an independent go-getting little girl who's just so full of love and fire and self love. So I'm so glad that you found out early. And I hope that through this podcast and all the other ones, that either of us do, whenever we mention it, that people will hear this and go, "I'm not going to let the corporations tell me how to parent. I'm going to do this the way that feels good and natural and that's right for my baby and the environment," because it's massively, massively right for the environment.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Absolutely. And I also have disposable eco-friendly compostable diapers as well, which we still use as well in between. And then we have some organic cloth ones as well that we also have. But our intention is to always catch them as much as we can. That's our intention. And it's a beautiful time to just sit and be. So we are currently using the Top Hat Potty. So your Top Hat Potty that you sent me.

Andrea Olsen:

Tada!

Melissa Ambrosini:

Yes. That one.

Andrea Olsen:

This one.

Melissa Ambrosini:

That one, that exact color and everything.

Andrea Olsen:

Oh awesome. I sent you my favorite color.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Yeah. So we are currently using that at the moment. And it's either my husband or I will do it or my 15-year-old, and we would just sit there. And it's really beautiful. It's a beautiful time to just sit and be. And I think now more than ever, the rushing, the go, go, go, do, do, do, go, go, go, achieve, achieve, achieve, my moments where I just get to sit in EC with her or breastfeed are some of my favorite moments in the day because I get to be fully present. You can't text message and scroll social media whilst you're ECing. Trust me. You cannot.

Andrea Olsen:

You can't. True.

Melissa Ambrosini:

No, you can't.

Andrea Olsen:

True story. No, it's impossible.

Melissa Ambrosini:

And same with breastfeeding, for me, it's just these beautiful pockets in my day where I get to stop, slow down, be fully present with her, breathe her in, smell her. I just smell her hair. She must be like, "What is my mom doing, always sniffing me?" I just smell her because she smells so delicious. And I just play with her hands and talk to her and it's such a beautiful time to connect and I tell her what we're doing. So we also practice baby sign language. So I do the sign for the potty, after we feed, I say, "Let's go do the potty now." And I do the sign for the potty, and I'll sit with her and I'll tell her, I say, "We're sitting on the potty now. And this is where you can do your pee, and this is where you can do your poo, and you can go for it now."

I just talk to her, like I would talk to anyone. I don't use other words for things. And some people do, and that is their choice, but for us personally, it just didn't feel right to use other words. Like we say poo and wee, and we say, "This is where you do it. And I have a little potty song that I'll sometimes sing to her. But she just sits there and she usually goes quite quickly. She'll either do a wee or a poo straight away. But then sometimes if I sit there for a little bit longer, she might do more poo, and it will just keep coming. And it's just such a beautiful time to stop in our day and connect and to be present with our littles.

Andrea Olsen:

Absolutely. And you know what that does for me and has done? All the older people in my life, in the grocery store, wherever, they're always like, "This will pass so quickly. You have to cherish these moments." And it sounds so cliche, but it's true. And every time I hear that, I'm like, "Thank you. You're right." And part of the reason why I only work three hours a day and I always have, is because I want to be present with my kids. And it's hard. And I'm recently divorced, so I'm single, and it's like, "Okay, it can be a lot." And I'm calling in the help.

But the thing that makes everything, I think about parenting so much easier, and this is for all the new, new mamas out there, is to surrender to it, and to surrender to this flow and this beautiful gift. And when you're breastfeeding or pottying, I totally agree. Time stands still. And you get to just soak in together. And that smell, yeah, they smell like cupcakes or beautiful pastries. They're just so... God, you're making me have baby fever again. It's like, "I want another one."

I think we're trained as parents to just treat the baby like a doll. They're passive. They're passive participants and you're just this caregiver and there's not really a connection there. And sometimes I wonder if that's intentional, because there's a lot of disconnection being supported in our world right now. I just think it's so beautiful because EC helps you to learn how to be a better mom because you have to slow down and pay attention and go, "All right, I'm here with you." It's Beautiful.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Absolutely. And it's a beautiful opportunity for your partner to get involved and have little moments with them as well, which my husband loves. He's like, "Can I potty her?" He loves pottying her because he just sits there. So where we do it, we actually do it on our kitchen table. So we have a big bench seat. So she sits in between our legs on the Top Hat Potty and we've got a mirrored wall, so we're both facing the mirror, and we talk to each other, so I can see her face. Its really sweet. So we make faces at each other and sing songs and we wave because she's into waving. So we wave at each other.

Andrea Olsen:

9 months. Yes.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Yeah. It's so cute. And I think, maybe next time I might start even earlier now knowing how easy it actually is. I will probably start earlier if everything flows the way it flows. But there was a little bit of resistance at the start because I thought it was going to be really hard. I thought it was going to be a lot of work and I thought it was not going to be easy, but 100% is so easy. It's easier than changing a diaper and wiping. It's quicker and it's easier and it's a lot less mess. I think next time and even the time after that, if we have two more, I will definitely start earlier if it flows.

Andrea Olsen:

And after doing this for so long, I just have a feeling that you'll be like...There's no going back. The day your baby will be born, you'll be like, "Okay, it's on. I got my Top Hat Potty already. Let's just do it." If everything flows and goes well, yeah, you become a culture to it and your husband as well. So it becomes a family thing. And then your daughter will help with the next baby. And it just becomes, "This is what we do."

Melissa Ambrosini:

Absolutely. And even my 15-year-old stepson, when he first was like, "What?" And my parents, they were like, "What?" And then I would just say, "Oh, I'm just pottying her." And they would watch me. And then I think they were kind of a bit skeptical and they would roll their eyes a little bit, and then they would see that she just did a poo and a wee in the potty and their mind was blown. And now my dad is like, "I have no words, Melissa." My dad always says to me, "You are so inspiring. You are so inspiring." He's so sweet. He goes, "You need to tell everyone about this. You need to tell everyone." He's like, "Why don't people know about this?" And I'm like, "Well, it's a good question. Dad." He's so sweet. He's like, "You've got to write a book about all of your parenting things and you've got to do this."

Andrea Olsen:

Oh, yeah. You do. I can't wait to read it if you do.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Yeah. I definitely will one day. But it just makes so much sense. And it's such a beautiful time to connect. It's a beautiful opportunity for your partner to stop and slow down and connect. And especially now because of the pandemic, lots of partners are working from home, so they have that time and space as well.

Andrea Olsen:

Right. And I found the same thing with my ex-husband. He jumped right in. He didn't really feel like he could participate in a lot of ways because I was doing all the breastfeeding. And then when they had a boo-boo, they needed mama and all of that. But he definitely was into the potty and he was into the tools. So sometimes he'd use the diapers too much, I'd be like, "Hey, we're doing this other thing." So I think once we set up our men for success, it's easier for them to find their place, and they're like, "I know the baby needs to go right now, here, honey, you take them." And then they get a catch and then they feel that confidence and it's a win, right?

Melissa Ambrosini:

100%. And when I text you early on, and for those of you, I'll just give a little backstory about what the message said that I sent you. And I think it was something along the lines of, "We've started, but she's not really showing signs." You talk a lot about it in your book, like wait for the sign. And I was like, "She's 3 months. There's no sign." And so you said to me, "Just offer after every time they wake up and every feed." So I started doing that. So every time she woke up, I would offer the potty. And then after every feed, I would offer the potty. And started catching up to catch up to catch. She doesn't really know what her sign is now, and I keep teaching her the potty sign and then eventually she'll do that, but she kind of just stops and she kind of freezes and I know, "Oh, okay. We're about to do a number two here." But you said to me, "At this stage, they might not have a sign. And it's later that they start doing signs or they'll start communicating, or they'll start saying potty, potty." And that was a big relief for me because I was like, "She's not making any signs, what's wrong? Is there something I'm doing? Is it something she's doing? What's wrong? Why isn't she making a sign?" Because I thought there would be a very clear signal for me to take her. And no, it wasn't. It was your advice to me was, "Just offer her when she wakes up and after every feed." Like you said to me, "It's like us, when do we go to the toilet?" After we eat and usually when we wake up.

Andrea Olsen:

Exactly.

Melissa Ambrosini:

And then you're like, "They're little mini versions of us."

Andrea Olsen:

And once you really think about it, just sit and think about it. "Oh yeah. They're just humans, just like us." I talk to my kids the same. I don't do baby talk. I never have. My kids are highly intelligent, really engaging. I mean, really why? Why would I teach them how to say everything wrong with Baby talk?

Melissa Ambrosini:

And you have to reteach.

Andrea Olsen:

And reteach it later. And I definitely did sign language and that definitely helped and then they'd start signing potty to tell me they need to go. And it's like, we give them the tools to succeed in our real life, what they're going to meet when they're growing and then being in the world. I'm just so excited. So many of my best friends along the years have never tried EC even though I'm the EC woman and there's some mix of intimidation and overwhelm and all that that keeps it from happening.

But like you said, once you start it, it's so easy that you're just like, "Well maybe it was just my mindset that was in the way." And all the newness and all this stuff, and then just to see you take this and just live it and Montana as well, it's just like, "Oh ladies, we are doing it. We are changing the story for generations." It's literally going to trickle down.

Melissa Ambrosini:

And we're saving the planet and-

Andrea Olsen:

Completely.

Melissa Ambrosini:

... and saving our wallets.

Andrea Olsen:

Great. Everything.

Melissa Ambrosini:

I have a beautiful mother's group that I am a part of that I created and shared with them, and some of them are not interested at all because they have told themselves that maybe it's too hard or it's going to take too much time. And then there are others that are like, "Whoa, why didn't I know about this? Sign me up, tell me what to do." And then I'll go home and I'll take a photo of the Top Hat Potty. And I'm like, "This is the potty that we use. Get it from Andrea's website. This is her Book. Read it if you want to." And I just share with them. And one of my friends, it's amazing, her little boy is, I think, 3 months now. And she's been doing it with him and they love it. They're like, "Why would we do anything else?"

Andrea Olsen:

It makes so much sense. And it's really just a matter of doing it, seeing it, being around it, that just opens people's eyes. And I wanted to mention the Top Hat Potty is now being sold. I can't remember the name of the company right now, but in New Zealand. So we are slowly making our way in, and I'm trying to get it into Amazon and Australia. I believe there's a shipment on the way. So I'm just saying all the people who are listening, who also follow Melissa and also happen to live down under you guys will be able to get Top Hat Potty from me soon.

Melissa Ambrosini:

And that is amazing because the Top Hat Potties are amazing. I know Montana, in her video, she just had an old container, which-

Andrea Olsen:

She did. Yeah. And then she had this one, which is a step up.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Yes. I've also got that one too. And you can use the containers, but I mean, it's just so much more comfortable having the Top Hat Potty because you don't have to hold them and their body weight. You can rest them on the potty. It's just so much easier. Because originally, before I got yours, I just thought, "Oh, we'll just keep an old container and use that." And my husband's like, "Yep, let's just do that." But I cannot tell you how much better it is with the Top Hat Potty. And sometimes my husband will hold her over the toilet if we are traveling and for some reason we didn't bring. We went to an eco-retreat and we couldn't take the potty, but we were outside. So she just pottied outside the whole time. Or he would hold her over the toilet. But for me, I am nursing some serious breastfeeding shoulders and wrists at the moment.

Andrea Olsen:

Oh, this and that.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Yeah. So for me, holding her over the toilet is just not a good idea for my shoulders and my back and my wrists right now.

Andrea Olsen:

And I have a little tip for that though.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Oh yeah?

Andrea Olsen:

You put a little, like a kid's stool underneath your butt when you're holding them over the toilet, you can actually sit down and have good posture and hold them over the toilet if you want to.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Oh, great idea.

Andrea Olsen:

It's a little trick. I mean, it took me four babies to learn that one. But yeah. I talked about posture, mama posture a couple podcasts ago, and I think it's really important. I would always catch myself, and luckily, I'm on Instagram, so I have to get a lot of pictures of me going out there and I'm like, "Gosh, my posture is terrible." And that's causing problems with my body, and this pottying my baby shouldn't cause me pain, shouldn't cause the baby pain. So if there's pain, we got to, of course, correct.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Totally.

Andrea Olsen:

The Top Hat Potty has helped you though. That's what you're saying.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Oh my gosh.

Andrea Olsen:

Completely.

Melissa Ambrosini:

So yeah. I literally sit and I'm facing the mirror, remember? So I am sitting and I'm making sure my shoulders are back and down, my hands are on either side of the potty and I'm sitting upright and I've got a long, beautiful elongated spine. And for me, it's so important because I am nursing some breastfeeding injuries at the moment.

Andrea Olsen:

Ugh, I'm sending you healing power. You do yoga, right?

Melissa Ambrosini:

I do yoga, but I wish someone had told me this. Okay. Before you get pregnant, strengthen your upper back muscles. Strengthen your wrists and your upper back and then once you're pregnant, keep strengthening your wrists and your upper back. Literally, go and get a personal trainer and say, "I'm about to stop breastfeeding and I need strong back muscles." This is what I wish I had done, and then once you're pregnant, still do it. And then when you stop breastfeeding, make sure you'd... I could not stop looking down at her. I was obsessed.

Andrea Olsen:

I know.

Melissa Ambrosini:

So a good posture-

Andrea Olsen:

And you're sniffing your head, so you're just going like that-

Melissa Ambrosini:

I'm sniffing my head all the time. So, the amount of times I put my neck out... I'm not even joking. I put my neck out and my shoulders were hunched forward because I'm holding her, and my neck went out so many times. I have to see the osteo every week. I had to get massages every single week. Acupuncture, chiro, all of these things. Because I was like, "I don't care." And I would breastfeed with my leg up on the kitchen bench and holding her and just in the most awkward-

Andrea Olsen:

Of course, you did.

Melissa Ambrosini:

... positions, not really understanding that this is a repetitive thing.

Andrea Olsen:

Stress injury. Yeah.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Exactly. So now I have RSI in my wrists.

Andrea Olsen:

Do you have a carpal tunnel?

Melissa Ambrosini:

Yes, I do.

Andrea Olsen:

Yeah. I had that too temporarily. And what I was told, is that if you have your hands straight, so for those of you watching versus listening, you won't or listening, you won't be able to see this. But if you're nursing or holding your baby, you should have a straight line from your elbow to your middle finger. If you break that in this way, you're going to develop carpal tunnel. So, my first midwife told me that. The other thing is my first... I take stronger yoga. I love it. And my first mommy-and-me yoga class, she's like, "Ladies, a room full of 20 babies." And she managed to just put them all to sleep while we all did yoga. It was amazing in Berkeley, California. Mel is her name. If you hear, that's when you're there, look her up. She was like, "Bring your baby to your breast. Do not bring your breast to your baby." And it really helped prevent a lot of injuries, but I totally... I had a wrist brace and everything, because I didn't know it's the relaxing in your body.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Exactly.

Andrea Olsen:

And that hormone relaxes everything and then makes you susceptible to injury, right?

Melissa Ambrosini:

Exactly. And I just wish I had have known all of this-

Andrea Olsen:

I know.

Melissa Ambrosini:

... because my wrists are so sore.

Andrea Olsen:

Oh, still?

Melissa Ambrosini:

Yeah. They're still really sore and they're getting better and better because I'm more aware of it now. But ladies, correct posture when you're breastfeeding, correct posture when you're doing EC. And even when you're changing them, don't lean over the bed, get a table that is at the correct height.

Andrea Olsen:

Ergonomic.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Yes. It's got to be. Otherwise, you're just a mama who's walking around with all of these aches and pains and we don't want that.

Andrea Olsen:

And then we also hold our babies on one hip. So I'm right-handed and I'm doing everything with my right hand. And now I'm working with the physical trainer and he's like, "Why is this side stronger than the other?" And I'm like, "Well that's because I stuck my hip out for 10 years." So I have this curved spine and I'm doing stuff with this arm. And I'm just now doing pelvic floor therapy too. And all the things that nobody ever told me about either. So everybody listening, you've got a head start, you get to do the things that we didn't do to prevent these injuries.

Melissa Ambrosini:

I know.

Andrea Olsen:

It's rough.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Yeah. I tell all of my friends who are pregnant, I'm like, "Go and get a personal trainer and tell them that you want to strengthen your upper back right now." It is all about the upper back. And this is what I'm working on with my trainer right now is all the upper back strengthening so that I can hold her because she's only going to get heavier and I want to hold her. But what I also do a lot of the time is, instead of walking around with her on one hip, trying to do things, trying to multitask and do two things at once, I really try and just do one thing at a time. And I know that's easier said than done and it depends, maybe you have to get dinner on and things like that. But I find I put her on the floor in the kitchen and give her a few little blocks and she loves that, just playing at my feet whilst I'm in the kitchen or sitting in her high chair and I give her some things. And then when it is playtime, instead of me walking around the house, carrying her and doing things, and picking her up, I get down on her level. So I crawl around on the floor with her, which is so good for you, that primal movement. I get on the floor with her and I crawl and I bear crawl and I make sure I'm down there as much as possible. And I try not to do too much lifting. Of course there are times where I do, but if I want her to come into a different room with me, I will crawl on the floor with her. I'm like, "Come on, come and follow mummy." And she'll follow me into the other room crawling.

Andrea Olsen:

Oh my gosh, we are so much alike. And you know what's funny is my trainer right now, he's trained in all that primal movement stuff, and he's having me bear crawl and crawl like a kid, and crawl and access and all this stuff. And I’m like eating it up. I'm just like, "Oh yeah." And he's like, "Oh, you probably know all the things because you had so many babies, I've just observed" I'm a former dancer. I still dance. I'm still a dancer. And I love watching people-

Melissa Ambrosini:

Me too.

Andrea Olsen:

You do?

Melissa Ambrosini:

Yeah.

Andrea Olsen:

I host dance. There's a studio behind me. That down there, is a sprung dance floor that we made with... I sprung it with little servers of pool noodles, and it's the most amazing space. I have like 20, 25 people here every week on Sundays dancing with me. We do ecstatic dancing here.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Oh my God. I want to come.

Andrea Olsen:

Just come. You have to come just to go to the dance class.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Oh my gosh, that sounds amazing.

Andrea Olsen:

So my family, we've all with my kids, we all dance. We're all entrepreneurs, they all follow suit with what we do. And I've always been on the floor with them as well. And, when you have your second, it gets a little crazier. And then you have your third and you're like a hit mom. It's like, "How can I help all of you at the same time?" They're all 18 months apart and it gets a little nuts. If you go to the fourth and you have a fourth baby, it gets easier, somehow magically. because they're all different ages and it's weird.

But, yeah. I think it's so important to integrate movement into your life and for wellbeing, but being physical with your children and just even mirroring them and showing them, "I see you and I'm going to engage with you on your level," is like, I don't know. I'm a geek about it though. Especially without the diaper in there, and then they can really move and really roll and when they start walking, it's just like... I get really physical with my kids.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Yeah. That's so beautiful. And we all know the power of movement. For our mental and obviously our physical health. But dance, no matter what you look like, is so beneficial for your mental and physical health. And so I used to be a professional dancer, and I want Bambi, that's my daughter, to love dance, right? So how do I get her to love dance? I dance with her. Every afternoon, we put on a song and I just hold her, or we're on the floor and we'll just have a little boogie, and she starts dancing. So, she'll start blocking... Or her little leg will start going like this. And it's absolutely adorable. Nick and I just look at each other and we're like, "I can't even... What is even happening right now?" It's just, my heart is exploding.

So, that's another thing, whatever you want your children to do. You want your children to be musical, you be musical. You want your children to dance, you dance. You want your children to eat broccoli, you eat broccoli.

Andrea Olsen:

You want your kids to not be on a phone, don't be on your phone.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Don't be on your phone. Exactly.

Andrea Olsen:

You want them to be outside, go outside.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Totally. You want them to play the piano, you freaking play the piano. You want them to learn a language, you learn a language. But right now, I don't speak another language, I am half Italian from my last name, as you can see. And my nana spoke only Italian, and so my dad when they migrated to Australia, he was really struggling to learn English. So, they let their Italian go, unfortunately. And I never learned the way that I wish I had. And so I always say to dad, "Oh, I wish we had learned Italian, I wish..." I could speak very, very basic Italian to my nana. And I could understand her, but I wish we had learned. And so, before we were pregnant, I said I would love our children to have another language. And Nick agreed. And so, we feel really passionate about French. I lived in Paris for a year. I danced at the Moulin Rouge.

Andrea Olsen:

No. I'm so jealous.

Melissa Ambrosini:

And so, we want Bambi to learn French. And so, guess what we are doing? We're learning French at the moment.

Andrea Olsen:

That's it. That's the take you guys, that's it. That's literally all it takes. You want your kids to not be screen addicts, don't be a screen addict. You want your kids to not be obese and unhealthy and get diabetes, then take care of your own health. It's literally that easy. The Suzuki method of violin playing, that's how they do it. Did you know that? The parent comes to all the first five lessons, this Japanese method of learning violin, the parent learns in the first five lessons, and the kid is there watching and kind of playing around. So, literally what you're talking about is what they do. And then they create the most amazing violinist children in the world through having the parent do it first.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Wow. I love that. And yeah, I've really been thinking about that piano. I'm going to have to learn the piano because I would love for her to learn that, and to sing and I'm like, "Okay, I'm going to have to get some singing lessons."

Andrea Olsen:

You're like my mirror. It's the same thing, we're just in a different part of the world. But all of the things, you can't just be like, "Do this, do as I say, not as I do." But live how you want them to live. Instill the values by having the values yourself. Ever since I've been divorced, I've just been like, "Okay, what kind of mom do I really want to be? I can really be myself now." And it's like, "Okay, these are the values that are important to me." And then I tell my kids, "Look, I sucked at this today, and tomorrow I'm going to really try harder to do this thing differently." Because all I have to do is change my mind.

And our whole house, we light candles for meals now, we cook together. I've got ages 3 to 11. We cook together, we clean together, they do jobs. I have them work to make their money. I don't give them money. There's so many things that I'm just like, "What would have given me more success in the world, right off the bat?" Learning how to cook, all these things, basic skills. I want to equip them all with that. Sewing on a sewing machine, like all the things. And it starts with babyhood. I had a drawer on the bottom of my cabinet and a cupboard that they could go in and it was safe for them to play with everything in it and they'd unload it so that I could cook and they'd go in this drawer and do their thing, at 9 months old. How can I set up this space so it's not void of any kind of danger or something, but it's real? I want real life for them to practice on.

Anyway, we could get into so many conversations about that. I have a question. I want to know, when are you planning to stop using diapers with Bambi? And it's okay if you don't know or if you don't have a solid plan, but I was curious.

Melissa Ambrosini:

What have you seen? I don't know. So she definitely doesn't poop in the night, definitely doesn't poop in the night. But her diaper in the morning is very full with wee, very full. So during the night, I don't know what that would mean or maybe we'd still use them at nighttime.

Andrea Olsen:

I mean daytime diapers.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Right. Daytime. Okay. So I don't know, what have you seen anecdotally that works? Because there are times where we still miss, don't get me wrong, we don't catch every single one. Sometimes the day goes and I'm like, "Oh my goodness. I just completely forgot to potty her after her lunch." And my husband's like, "Oh my gosh." Or I forgot. And I'm like, "Things happen."

Andrea Olsen:

Totally.

Melissa Ambrosini:

So we're not perfect, and there is no perfect. And I want to encourage everyone listening, mama or not, to delete the word "perfect" from your vocabulary because there is no such thing. There is no such thing as "the perfect mom." There is no such thing as "the perfect easier." There's no such thing. All we can do is do our best. So I mean, do you have any advice for me with where she's at now?

Andrea Olsen:

Yeah, I do. Of course I do. I just was recording my young toddlers course, which is 12 to 17 months. I'm doing these new courses that are broken up by age. So, usually once they've mastered walking, everything you're doing right now... I know you said not to say perfect, but it's perfect. It's perfect in the rhythm that you have and the interaction that you have.

What I was gonna say is, when they start walking and they have mastered walking, that's usually when our grandmas and great grandmas would stop using the diapers, because they were hand washing them and they didn't want to wash anymore. And so in 1957, 92% of American babies were done with potty training by 18 months. Done. Not an average, just almost a hundred percent were done.

Diapers were invented 4 years later. And then the brainwashing started and it tripled. So yeah, Exquisite Marketing. I need to take a page out of their book. But, what I mean to imply here is that when it makes sense to stop using daytime diapers is usually after they start walking. And with Montessori School of Thought, she called that, The Sensitive Absorbent Period. The Absorbent Mind. That task is 12 to 18 months where they're going to master the potty. We're going to give them all the building blocks, show them how to do their pants up and down. We're going to encourage self-dressing. These are my learn underwear. Let me know if you want me to mail you some of these.

Melissa Ambrosini:

I've got some. You sent me.

Andrea Olsen:

Did I send you some already?

Melissa Ambrosini:

You sent me those. Yes, thank you, honey.

Andrea Olsen:

I like reading my own mind. I do that a lot. Okay, so they'll learn underwear, all the things that we can do to equip them so that they don't have any friction in doing it themselves, we do that between 12 and 18 months. There isn't a rush, but I would say that in my experience, hundreds of thousands of people over the years are that if they wait till 17 or 18 months to stop using the diapers, there's usually some friction. If they stop diapers around 12 months, if they just started walking and they've mastered walking and they're around 12, 13 months, there's usually a heck of a lot more success.

Now, the mom and dad don't necessarily feel more ready, but developmentally putting them into, just training pants or just straight into underwear or just commando is a no-brainer at that time. Because, you've already got poops in the potty, and you've already got a lot of really great success, don't change a thing. But once they start walking, once she starts walking, you're going to see that this whole world opens up and that- Think about it, developmentally does it make sense that she should be out of diapers at that time? Yeah. And also just to walk and her gate will be awesome because she doesn't have that bulge, everything will make sense when you get there.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Totally. And she'll be able to walk to the bathroom, and I'll probably put her a little potty, that bigger one, next to our toilet. And I will teach her that that's where we go, and that's where we do it. So, that makes sense, because obviously right now, she can't walk there. So, I'm curious, because I'm pottying her, not in the bathroom at the moment, is that confusing her?

Andrea Olsen:

No.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Is that confusing her? And is she going to think, "Well, I go to that room to potty, and now all of a sudden mom wants me to go to that room to potty?"

Andrea Olsen:

Absolutely not. No. And just think about it, when we were nomadic, we're wired. We're wired in a certain way. When we were nomadic humans, hunters, gatherers, that kind of thing. They were in a sling, and then when they'd wriggle around, we would hold them over whatever bush we were at. At that age, they don't get conditioned. What they do get conditioned to is diapers when you use them too long after they start walking. And then that's when you can create that repetition and stability of where you want them to go and create that potty place, that special place for them to go, and then you're just going to roll with what happens to. They're going to be like, "No, I don't like this. I like this." And you being a responsive mom will be like, "I get you, all right. Let's roll with it." I mean, you're going to be great. This is the thing I want to tell everybody listening, don't change a thing. Don't fix it, if it ain't broken. You gotta keep going with what's working. And then when your intuition is like, "I feel like something's off." Then that means you just need to make a tweak. And that's when you text me, Melissa, and you tell me" "Hey, what do you think?" And I'll say, "Hey, try this''

Melissa Ambrosini:

And you know what else I also wanted to say is, when she does a poo or a wee in the potty, I will affirm to her what has happened. I'll say, "Oh, you did a poo and a wee in the potty." So there's no, "Good girl." I don't do that sort of thing. We don't say, "good girl," "naughty girl," "bad girl," talk. We've chosen not to do that in our house. So, we don't do "good girl" or things like that. I just say, "You did poo in the potty." And then I might say something like, "That must feel really good doing it in the potty, doesn't it?" I'll say something like that. And then if we have a poo in the diaper and I miss it, I'll say, "Oh, you did poo in your diaper." And then I might say "Oh, I missed catching that one in the potty," or something like that. I just talk to her like she is a human being and I don't dumb things down for her. I speak to her with love and respect and how I would love to be spoken to with love and compassion and respect. And I just don't dumb things down for her. I just speak to her how I would want to be spoken to and affirm to her what she has done. And she knows.

Andrea Olsen:

Yeah. You're her mirror and you're just honoring her as another human being and that's beautiful. They can understand everything we say. I think from the very beginning, because they've been listening in the womb. And even though they can't talk back or sign back yet, they know. They totally know. And I think everybody listening, I know people who follow me already know that. But it's important if anybody's brand new to this whole idea to just name that, our babies, they are way more capable than we know.

I went to Africa in 2000, I went to Ghana and I danced there. I was into African dance. And, oh man, we brought the rain. It was a magical experience. I was 20 and I didn't think I was ever going to have kids. And I noticed that there were no diapers. I noticed this mom with a brand new newborn on her back just the head's going all crazy. And I'm like, "Is that okay?" And they were walking and talking and sitting earlier, they were happy. There were no tantrums. It was like a bliss kingdom. It was the most amazing intact community, the only one I've ever seen. And there was one guy in a diaper, he was 80, the crazy man in town. And he was walking around in this giant diaper, a cloth diaper. And that was it.

So, it really stuck with me as, how are we coddling our children? There's a movie called Babies where they compare all the different cultures, just visually. And it's just amazing, because that's what I saw there. And I saw... What are babies capable of? And that's why I just want to encourage moms, like, "Well, what are you capable of too? How are you built as a mom already?"

I want to do a couple of quick questions. Give me your quick answers. Kind of like you did at the end of your podcast with me when you had me on. And just give me one sentence for each of these. We're going to go a little quicker on these end ones and then wrap it up. So, how has becoming a mama impacted your work life?

Melissa Ambrosini:

I am super efficient and diligent, and when I get in to do my work, I am laser focused and I just get in there and do it. And like you, I only work when she has her sleep. So, she has two naps a day. And so this is her first nap, which is when I'm doing this. And so, I try to do all of my work in her first nap time.

Andrea Olsen:

Oh man, it's amazing how you just rise to the occasion when you have a baby. It's like, "I've got a deadline now." And how has becoming a mama impacted your marriage?

Melissa Ambrosini:

It has brought us so much closer. We are more in love than ever before. It is so beautiful witnessing him be a dad to her. It's just so beautiful. And I think I had a really beautiful home birth with my midwife and doula and no drugs and a very beautiful birth. And he was my hero that day. And he'll tell you that I was his hero, but he was definitely my hero, the way that he rose to that occasion was so inspiring, the way that he showed up for me post-birth was just so inspiring. We did the first 40 days together and literally it was just me, him and her in our house for 40 days. And we had the best time ever. We didn't want it to end because we would just be having such a good time. And yeah, it's definitely changed our marriage so much more in love. And, it also brings other things. You have to be more diligent when you get your alone time and we have to schedule an intimate time and things like that. So you just have to be more diligent with making time for you two as a couple.

Andrea Olsen:

Beautiful. And, if there was one thing you could advise new mamas about EC, what would that be? What's the one thing?

Melissa Ambrosini:

Don't be afraid of it. It is the best thing ever. Do not be afraid of it. It is not hard, it doesn't take a lot of time. And as soon as you do it, you will do that face plant emoji with the hand on the face and go, "Oh my gosh, why did I not do this earlier?" Because it's so good. You are empowering the child. You are teaching them that they are an amazing being. You are saving the environment and you're saving your wallet.

Andrea Olsen:

Amazing. And what's the one thing you could advise new moms about becoming a new mother. What's your one best thing you can tell them?

Melissa Ambrosini:

I've got two. First one is, don't be so hard on yourself. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're doing a great job. And remember that and maybe write, "I'm doing a great job on a post note," and stick it on the bathroom mirror because you are doing a great job and you're an amazing mom and your child's chose you because they wanted all of you. And so, remember that you are doing an amazing job and there's no such thing as perfect. Just keep being you.

And then the second thing is, get a personal trainer and strengthen your back.

Andrea Olsen:

Oh man, I love you. What's the one thing you could advise new mamas who are single, like me, about catching a great man like your husband? I know you've talked about this on your podcast. I'm just saying, what's your one thing for those of us who are single out there with babies or God forbid pregnant and single, and going through all that?

Melissa Ambrosini:

Get really clear on the type of partner you want, I think is really important. Get really clear on your core values, and the person that you want to call in, what you would like their core values to be. So if a core value for you is health, and you would love that to be a core value for the partner, that's a deal breaker. Knowing that is really important. Knowing what your core values are and what your deal breakers are. For some people it's religion, they have to be the same religion, for some people it's health, for some people it's money. What do they believe about money? And I talk about this in Open Wide, there's a whole chapter on understanding your core values. And I think the more clear you are on the type of person that you want to align with and share your life with, it helps you weed out any that may come that aren't. I have one of my best friends who is single and she knows who she wants in her life. And this great guy came in, but he ticks all of these boxes, but he's not into health. And that's a really, really strong core value of hers.

Andrea Olsen:

Yes. The same thing happened to me this year. Oh my gosh. It was like, "Wait, but this is super important." So then you learn, "Well, actually that's a deal breaker." We have to let go of those people to make room for the one who's right.

Melissa Ambrosini:

100%. And it's not about being rude or mean, it's just going, "Okay, well that's such a strong passion of mine, and it's not something that I can let go of." I don't think I could be with someone who is eating fast food in my house, that's sitting across the table from me and who doesn't value their health and who doesn't move their body and thinks how I live is a joke, those sorts of things. And some people do think the way we are and how healthy we are might be a joke. And understanding what is right for you and what your core values are, are so important, because it helps you get clear on the type of person that you want to call into your life.

Andrea Olsen:

I love that. And that's in Open Wide. That's a chapter in there, that you've got that. Oh great. I can't wait to read it. I'm going to have to buy all of Melissa's books, you guys. Let's have a book club. And your one bit of advice for just having a fantastic overall life, because you talk to all sorts of people all the time on your podcast.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Remember that we only get one go at this life. There's no dress rehearsal, there's no take two, there's no second act. We only get one precious life in this body. So you may as well make the most of it. You may as well squeeze the most juice out of every life. You may as well, let things go. Let that conversation that upset you go, let that thing go. Let that go. Get over it. Let go, and have the most fun that you can have.

I treat every day, how people would treat a holiday, or a Saturday. I treat every day like that. I'm like, "What would I do if today was a holiday?" Or "What would I do if today was a Saturday?" I'm like, "I would go to the beach," which I'm going to do as soon as my daughter wakes up. I would eat my lunch at the beach, which I'm going to do. Just treat every day, like it is a holiday or it's summer, the first day of summer or something like that. You only get one go with this. So make the most of it. Let the things go that don't light you up and that upset you. Let them go and just infuse more of the things that do light you up in your life.

Andrea Olsen:

Can I just say that that's how I live my life, and it's hard with five kids being alone, but I've been finding ways to do it. The kids were at their dad's this weekend and this happens once a month. And it's like, "Okay, what am I going to do? Friday night?" I had 12 of my girlfriends over, eight of us naked in the hot tub. We knocked all the water out of it. I had to fill it up the next day. That was amazing. We stayed up till midnight, no kids. And then the next day, I decided to have a two hour massage at 7:00 PM. Then I went and got sushi for takeout, sat in my car and ate it and went into this total Country Redneck Bar down the road, because I'm in the Hills here, because I know that people are full of joy and really I love the bartenders. I went in there, had a couple of tequila and danced my booty off to cover country songs. That was two days worth of time. And then I led my dance class and had an ecstatic experience with 20 other human beings and deep connection and love. I mean, that and every time I'm just like, "Thank you, God, because I know I have this precious life and I'm not going to squander it. My kids are here," I'm like, "I'm with you, I'm with you." And when I can't do it and feel like I'm failing, I lay on the ground and just let them cover me up with kisses. Because when I surrender, it's like, "Oh, okay." This balance of, "Can I take advantage of every moment, especially with my kids?" It changes you. It literally makes everything worthwhile. I'm so glad that you said the same. I wish we lived in the same country, oh my goodness.

Melissa Ambrosini:

I know. I want to come to naked jacuzzi times.

Andrea Olsen:

I know, right? Hell of a jacuzzi girl night.

Melissa Ambrosini:

My girlfriend's- We went to an island recently, a couple of months ago actually. And we did nudy sunbaking, which was so nice. Me and two of my best girlfriends. And we were just nudy sunbaking, getting the sun on all the bits. It was just delicious and heavenly. Oh my God, that's what life's about, hey?

Andrea Olsen:

It is. And what are we investing our time and our money and our spirit and soul into? I'm building a dance deck out here. So I can have more people over here dancing. Like, "What is your dream?" Everybody listening. What is your dream? It doesn't have to be just, "I'm a mom. And I can't do anything else with my life right now". That is not true. Our children need to see us doing things and following our dreams and having a great time because that is how they're going to model their lives after us.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Monkey see, monkey do.

Andrea Olsen:

Totally. Absolutely. Now tell me where people can find you and all your books, and all your wisdom, and your podcast.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Thank you. Yes. Head to melissaambrosini.com, that's my website. And on there you will find my podcast, all of my books, all of my programs, my meditations, eBooks, everything. My podcast is called The Melissa Ambrosini Show. And on Instagram, I'm @melissaambrosini. And come and tell me what you got from this episode. Come and DM me. I would absolutely love to hear what you got out of this episode. I just love connecting with new people and love hearing what you get from each conversation. So, please come and introduce yourself to me and share.

Andrea Olsen:

Absolutely. You guys, I encourage you to do that right now. Melissa, thank you so much for your time, and especially the precious nap time. I know that's prime time for your work and everything. All the things, all the wisdom you shared with us today, especially about EC, I think you've just inspired a ton of people. Keep in touch with me, DM me anytime, send me a little picture, send me whatever your status is. Or if you have any questions at all, I'm here for you as things transition and you start to work your way out of the baby phase. But yeah, enjoy every wonderful moment. Thank you so much for being here.

Melissa Ambrosini:

Thank you so much for having me and for all of your love and support and for coming on my podcast as well. I'm so grateful and thank you so much for your time.

Thank you. Wasn't that amazing? Melissa, I adore you. Thank you so much for coming on my show and having that long, wonderful, beautiful conversation. Everybody listening, I hope you got so much out of this. I hope you feel inspired, I hope you feel enlivened, I hope you feel happy, I hope you feel the love that is in this world right now. It is amazing. And I hope this also inspires you to take what you learned from me about EC, implement it with your baby, and just enjoy the process. Savor your baby, savor every moment possible. And every time you find yourself just being totally distracted, mommy or daddy, come back to savoring. Come back to the present moment. Come back to your baby, because this time passes so fast. I think that's the highlight from the whole episode.

What do you think? Tell me what you think the highlight was from this episode. Come over to the show notes over at godiaperfree.com/180 and let us know in the comments. I look forward to seeing you guys next time. Thanks so much for tuning in.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

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View Details

Everything was going great; you knew Baby's timing like clockwork! But now when you offer the potty, she arches her back and squiggles like she's done before she's even started!

What to do with a baby you know has to go and won't?? Hear what causes potty time “resistance” and four solutions to roll with it like a pro!

You will hear: * what parents sometimes mistake for potty time resistance * how developmental milestones can affect potty time * FOUR solutions for potty time “resistance”

Links and other resources mentioned today: * Easy Start Guide for EC * Top Hat Potty * Mini Potty * The Log App for observation time! (available for both Apple and Android) * Tiny Trainers (especially solid colors for noticing pees quickly) * Waterproof Pad * Easy Catch #1 * Easy Catch #2 * Easy Catch #3 * Easy Catch #4

Download the Transcript If you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: I know she has to go and won’t: What to do!

Read the full written transcript Expand

Today's show, we're going to talk about knowing your baby has to go and they won't, what do we do? Specifically at the age of 3 months or around there? How do we handle potty refusal or just not doing anything when we offer at this age? Enjoy the show and you can see the full written transcript over at godiaperfree.com/179. Please, come over after or during this show to leave a comment, ask questions and interact there, and we'll see you over there.

Hey, there. Welcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast. I'm Andrea Olson, your host, author, and mom of five babies, all EC from birth, all out of diapers by walking.

All right, what do we do when we have a baby, we know she has to go, and she just won't? Specifically today we're talking about a 3 month old. This person wrote in and said, "I just know that my baby has to go, and she just won't at 3 months old." So first of all, I want to talk to you about developmentally, what is going on with a 3 month old? Well, they're starting to move their bodies in ways to prepare for rolling. They just want to roll, and when you hold them in position, sometimes a 3 month old will look like they're resisting the potty, but they're not resisting. They actually are just arching their body over, and I have a background in dance, so I always roll around the floor and do all this stuff and dance. They are starting to twist and turn their legs, their shoulders, whatever they can to learn how to roll or to just begin rolling. They don't need to learn how, they already know how.

So as they get stronger, they start to do that. Sometimes, it's just the developmental milestones they get in the way. So I guess, for that one thing I could say is, everything's going to change so fast with EC. I don't care how old your baby is. It's just going to change, change, change. So we'll roll with it, pun intended. But I do have a couple of solutions, one, two, three, four solutions, for when you know, they have to go and they. One of them, that's not even a solution, but just knowledge about your children. When they are 3 to 4 months old, they are going to start exercising those muscles to roll. Their minds become a little more preoccupied with other things. Their world is also expanding. They can see further away. They're getting into their body. The fourth trimester they call it is ending. So you've got the 0 to 3 month age where they're really creatures and are very much in that middle space, the precipice, the liminal. It's liminal space. It's between this and that, between pregnancy, being in the womb, and being out in the world and crawling around. So we've got a transition going on. So I would say that there's a lot of distraction going on and this happens with every developmental milestone. That's just something. So if you've ever got this situation at any age, just go, "Hey, is something else going on right here?" That's probably what it is.

But here are the solutions. So number one, you can keep your babies' diapers off and just hold, this is if you know, and how does this person know that she has to go? Because it's been what? 15, 20 minutes is probably the interval at this age, or there's been a toot, or a fart, or some grimace, and you're just like, "I just know that they have to go by their signal, their body language, time of day, part of the routine, whatever." By this time this person knows their baby, and has done observation and knows some signals so they know. So you can keep them diaperless and walk around and take advantage of the distracted nature of a 3 month old. Walk them around without a diaper. Just a little bit and relax yourself because you're just like, "I just, I feel like a failure. I don't know why she won't go." Then breathe, and then come back and offer and go pisss, again. Okay. So that's one technique. Because natural timing expands rather rapidly, so maybe your baby was going every 15 minutes and you knew that, and now they're going every 25 minutes and you're just like, "Whoa, that was a massive leap." It's possible. So just hold them for 5 minutes, walk around, try again. Hold them 5 more minutes, walk around, try again. By then probably, they will go.

If they don't, and if this just doesn't work for you, my second suggestion for a solution is to change the receptacle or the location where you are potting them. So we want to experiment a little bit. So if you've been potting them over the sink, try squatting, sitting your own butt on a small stool in front of the toilet and holding them in EC position over the toilet. So you would have them under the thighs with their head and back, leaning up against your body and holding them over the toilet, because at 3 months old, I'm sorry, but you might not know this, but they have been noticing that you guys have been going in the toilet and they're like, "I want to go in the toilet too." They could already be like, "When's it my turn to go where everybody else is going," possible.

The other thing you can do at 3 months, they're not sitting on their own. So I would never sit a three month old on the potty by themselves because they will just fall right off. It's not good for their spine to be in those kind of sitting support things. It's debatable. But what am I looking for? Yeah, I'm looking for my potty. I would hold them on it because they do have neck control by about 8 weeks, usually by 2 months, at least. So you can hold them. So have the Mini Potty on the ground in front of you and hold your baby on it, and you are supporting their spine. You're not sitting them in their full force on it, but you are sitting them on it and they can look at you and they can start using the Mini Potty.

So that's what I mean by changing the receptacle. You can go from the sink to the big toilet, with a seat reducer on it or a Mini Potty. So there's lots of options. You can even potty them in a one-stall, like shower, if you want to do that, you can potty them over the tub with a little rag underneath their butt. You can potty them outside. At this age, it literally doesn't matter. We used to be nomadic people and you just potty your baby in whatever bush you walk by. So changing the receptacle or the location, different room, different part of the house, different inside or outside, can totally help. You can start using a Top Hat Potty if you haven't yet, if you've only been doing it in the sink, hold them over it, put this in between your legs and you can reach your hand inside, especially if they're boys, because you want to point their penis down into that. But if they're a boy or a girl, you can put your hand in there and you can feel when they've gone. Yes, you will get a little wet, but it is just newborn pee. It is not a big deal. This will give your baby a chance to relax and take their time without having to be on a bigger toilet, which might not be good for them. I don't know which one your baby will like. So you can experiment with that.

The third solution I have, for, I know she has to go and won't at 3 months old, is a fresh observation session. Didn't I just say it? The interval between times when the baby goes. Like, "Hey, my baby goes every 10 minutes as a newborn, every 30 minutes at six months old, every 45 minutes at thirteen months old, every two hours at two years old." Yes, those are typical. You want to do a new observation? Do you see how often those intervals change? Your baby's bladder is growing. Their bodies are growing. Their attention span is rowing and it makes sense that their intervals would grow. So do a new observation session. I've got a lot of information about that on my podcast and in my book. I've got an observation log. I also have.... If it's not out, by the time you're seeing or listening to this, I have a new app. It's a Logging App. It's called The Log. It's for ECM-potty training. I'm super excited about it. You can do it digitally on your phone and then also set an alarm for how often your baby goes. It makes it really easy for your observation sessions to happen.

So to do an observation session. You can put them in my aqua blue, Tiny Trainers Training Pants, because they show immediately when they're wet or you can do it naked. At this age, they're not really rolling yet. Put them on a Waterproof Pad. You can get all these things at tinyundies.com, and then starting at feeding or starting at waking, you're going to note on this piece of paper or on the app, on your notes app in your phone, wherever. I don't care, it could be a piece of whatever. You're going to write down somehow, how often your baby goes from feeding and from waking. That's it. That's observation done. So you can do it either naked or you can do it with some tiny trainers. You can do it with a burp cloth held in place by a scrunchy, a large scrunchy, something like that. So that's Sumo-style, if you didn't know. So yeah, my third suggestion is just refresh yourself, "How often is my child going now?" Because 9 times out of 10, if you know, they have to go, and they won't. That means that their timing intervals have changed.

The fourth tip for you is stick with the Four Easy Catches. So if you know, she has to go based on a signal or natural timing, clearly that's changed and we don't really know what's going on, but she just isn't going. Then we're going to simplify back to the Four Easy Catches at every diaper change just offer. I recently did a show on pottytunity, what's the purpose of that. Pottytunity is just an opportunity to go, no pressure. We want to make sure that we have consistent opportunities to go. So the Four Easy Catches, you've got wake-ups, you've got poops. They start to poop. You just say, "Wait," and take them. You've got diaper changes, and you've got ins and outs before putting them into something, like a car seat, or a baby carrier, or a stroller or high chair, bath nap, or after. So ins and outs. The Four Easy Catches.

The reason I say this is if you've got some success with EC, and you're like, "Oh, everything was working and now it's just not. She just isn't going, and I know she has to." What you can do is just take the pressure off yourself for a little bit and just try the Four Easy Catches and lean into those to simplify your practice for a little while, as you figure out what's next, because your baby's growing. Like I said, she just wants to roll right now, do a lot of tummy time. Use a backup that works for you, diaper training, pants, whatever. I have no judgment. You do what works for you. Know that this will pass.

But if you need to get through a rough bump and any time in EC, I don't care how old your baby is. Revert back to one of the Four Easy Catches or two of them. And just pick a couple of those, and there was a time when I only did the wake-up pee and the poops for Branson, and he turned out fine. I got him out of diapers at 12 months. It was so easy. During a rough patch though, developmental milestones, all we were doing was that at 8 or 9 months old. All we were doing was that. I know better, so I didn't feel guilty about it. But it was just, I needed to simplify to get back in my saddle and figure this out. Right. Does that make sense?

So those are the four things I would do to solve this problem, and in addition to just a little bit of knowledge about what's going on developmentally with your child right now, definitely check out my Book, and my courses, and my gear. I literally have everything you need. All you have to do is just trust me, and the hundreds of thousands of people I've helped, definitely know that I'm really good at what I do, and I really break it down and make it easy. So if you don't have my book, definitely get it. That's all I have to say about that topic today.

All right. I hope you enjoyed today's show. Again, you can see the full written transcript over at godiaperfree.com/179, and please comment over there right now. What have you done when your child has refused and won't go, or just sits there and does nothing when you know they need to go, what's your solution? Maybe you can share your advice with us over there, or ask a question and make a comment, if you don't have one. We'll see you over there, and see you next week as well.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free Podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

Watch the Video Version (new!) If you want to watch me record today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Thanks for Listening! To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

Which of the four solutions for resistance have you tried when experiencing resistance with your babe? Please leave a comment below with your thoughts I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Nota di divulgazione: in qualità di associato Amazon, guadagno una piccola commissione dagli acquisti effettuati tramite i collegamenti in questa pagina.

The post I know she has to go and won’t: What to do! appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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Feeding, pottying, sleeping (and the lack thereof!) - it can feel like everything is new with a new baby! Here's how to take EC from feeling like “too much” to being the golden element in your new baby's rhythm.

You will hear: * why EC is not “all or nothing” * ONE thing to start with when EC seems overwhelming * why babies pee when the diaper is removed * how to choose which easy catch to begin with * what to do when the last thing stopping you is...you

Links and other resources mentioned today: * Support Group included with The Go Diaper Free Book * Waterproof Pad * Top Hat Potty * Easy Catch #1 * Easy Catch #2 * Easy Catch #3 * Easy Catch #4

Download the Transcript If you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: Overwhelm Starting at 8 weeks old: Should I even try??

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So today I'm going to discuss something, a bit of a question from one of our community members. They have the Book and the Top Hat Potty, and they want to start with their baby, but feel overwhelmed. The baby's eight weeks old. And she asks, "Should I even try? My baby goes during sleep and feeding. I am completely a new mom overwhelmed."

So today we're going to talk about, should we even try with a newborn who seems a little bit difficult to EC? All the show notes, including the full written transcript and links to anything I mention in today's show can be found over at godiaperfree.com/178. Please visit us over there during or after the show to comment and ask questions, interact with the other moms and dads in our community. All right, here goes today's show.

Hey there. Welcome to the Go Diaper Free podcast. I'm Andrea Olson, your host, author, and mom of five babies, all EC from birth, all out of diapers by walking.

Okay, so I had somebody tell me that they have an 8 weeks old and they wanted to know if they should even try to potty either 8 weeks old. She seemed like if I could just nail it in one sentence, she's a new mom, an overwhelmed victim. She's totally in that space of like, "I'm a first-time mom. I don't even know what I'm doing," and then trying to potty this 8 weeks old. Ugh. So she has my Go Diaper Free Book. She has my Top Hat Potty and she wants to start, but feels overwhelmed. And her baby goes to the bathroom during sleep and during feeding. So she's like, "She doesn't go when she's awake and not doing something, so what do I even do? Should I even try?"

So what I want to say first of all is, the way that I teach EC is I don't want any of you to do something that makes you feel like a worse mom or a worse dad. I want you to do things that make you feel confident and encouraged. So in that case, with this new mom specifically, I would encourage her to just take the pressure off. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. When I choose to hit go on EC, it doesn't have to be, "Full force everything and I better darn well be good at this or I suck as a mom." That is not the way I teach. And I definitely know some potty training people, some of the less popular potty training people, especially the most popular one, she's great. I love her. But I think there's a lot of pressure out there like, you have to do this right. There's only one way to do it, and that's it. Not true.

With EC, it's an exposure technique. So you're exposing your baby to the potty. You're also getting into a new habit as a parent like, "I'm going to start doing this for my child because it's the right thing to do for them," but you're going to ease into it. It's going to be gradual because you don't know what you're doing, right? Okay. "So should I even try?" My answer to her is yes. I would pick one of the Four Easy Catches and only do that. So since the baby is going potty during sleep and during feeding, I would offer during diaper changes. How many of you have ever changed a baby's diaper, boy or girl, and have them pee right when you take the diaper off or take the diaper off and it's dry and then you put a new one on and they pee immediately in the new one? It is mind-numbingly crazy, right? So if you do it at the easy catch, that is a diaper change with a young baby, especially an 8 weeks old, they're going to want to go.

And it's not the cold air. That is such a stupid rumor. Cold air does not make a baby pee when you take off the diaper. Baby pees when you take off the diaper because they're like, "Finally this adult has figured out that I need to go to the bathroom and I've been holding it until they take the stupid thing off," and then they pee all over you or themselves. And that's because of this really strong instinct for cleanliness and dryness that we're all born with. Cool? Got it? All right.

So the other thing with this one is she says that her baby goes during sleep. Babies do not pee during sleep. Babies sleep in about 45 minutes sleep cycles and eventually learn to connect those together. It's the circadian rhythm. So you've got this amount of sleep that's really deep, and then there's this lightning like, "Oh, I'm kind of waking up." That's when the antidiuretic hormone, ADH, wears off. This is something that I discovered myself in a doula class, because pregnant women need to pee all the time and it's not because of the pressure of the baby, it's because this hormone is wreaking havoc.

So you've got this hormone that wears off in between these sleep cycles. That's when the baby is actually peeing. So as the baby starts to wake up from a nap and maybe they've connected two sleep cycles or you know a newborn is going to sleep for like 45 minutes. Okay, so she sleeps 45 minutes, wakes up. As she starts to wake up, that hormone wears off, bladder fills, she pees. So some moms are like, "I don't know if she's really waking up yet or not. I have no idea," so they let the baby wriggle and maybe they're trying to finish brushing their teeth or taking a shower, whatever you're trying to cram into nap time or just sitting there vegging out, looking at the ceiling. You're like, "I don't want to get up right now," so you let your baby shift around a little bit. While your baby is shifting around a little bit, guess what? They're peeing and you're missing it.

So for this new mom, how about when your baby first shifts and you know it's been long enough and they've had enough sleep and this is usually when they wake up, take them and offer the potty at that wake up before they shift too much. And let's address feeding. I literally just talked about this, how to do this if you're baby goes while feeding. If your baby goes while feeding, you're going to want to use a Waterproof Pad in your lap and nurse the baby naked, have them go on it. When they go, they pee, you go psss, when they poop, you go mm-hmm. And you kind of can do observation and nursing at the same time. You can have a Top Hat Potty between your legs while you're nursing, I would say without the pad there. And when they start to go, you've got that Top Hat right underneath their butt. I prefer doing it with a Waterproof Pad, because it's just a little easier. But if you've got a pooper, a nursing pooper, which we just talked about, you will want to have a Top Hat Potty nearby usually.

Okay, so if they're going during sleep, going during feeding, we just need a little troubleshooting and a little bit of encouragement for this mama. But also, the other easy catch of just doing a diaper change is to get you used to offering. And she's very scared because, well, part of it is her baby's super small and babies seem so fragile, so you want to get used to holding them in that position. Whether it produces a pee or not, I don't care. Got it?

All right, so what else? Oh, the other thing I just want to tell all of you who are feeling overwhelmed at starting, I don't know if that's you or not, but I definitely felt it with my first. I just observed for two weeks in the beginning, and I caught the meconium and I caught some poops, but I didn't really try. It's not all or nothing. I wanted to ease into it, and I did. Somebody told me once a little while ago, "Take the diaper off, and there you've started." That is literally how to start EC. You're so scared of taking the diaper off, what amazing disaster might happen that you don't start, and that's going to get in your way. You can also do observation time, like I just mentioned, with no expectations of anything, no signals, no peeing, no pooping, nothing, and just be with your baby and let them be in their natural state of nakedness and see what happens. And you'll learn something every time.

Then what was I going to say? Oh man, this woman needs just to get some help. And with my Book, which she has, there is an online, off-Facebook support forum. And it's included at this moment of the time of this recording, it's included for free. Usually it's a monthly subscription, but right now I've got it packaged for free lifetime support from the coaches that I've trained. So when something like this happens and you've got all the tools and you've got all the mindset, it's like, my mom's probably watching right now or listening right now but I'll poke a little fun, she's like, "I've got the awesome yoga mat, I've got the awesome yoga socks with the open toes and I've got this and that," and then the yoga classes never are attended. So you've got all the tools and there's something blocking you from stopping? My advice is take the diaper off and there you've started, okay?

All right, I hope that this has helped. For any of you who want to start, but feel overwhelmed and should you even try? Yes. And the ways that you can try do not necessarily mean you have to catch a pee today. All it really means is take the diaper off, see what's going on and learn sometimes, that will usually give you some success, which is the Four Easy Catches, cool?

All right. And that's it. Now I want you to hop on over to godiaperfree.com/178 and make a comment there, ask a question. And I want you to answer this question as well, have you ever felt overwhelmed, and what got you to start EC in the midst of that overwhelm? Look forward to seeing your comments and interacting with you over there. Until next time, thanks so much for listening.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

Watch the Video Version (new!) If you want to watch me record today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Thanks for Listening! To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

What one piece of advice would you give a new mama feeling overwhelmed about starting EC with her baby? Please leave a comment below with your thoughts I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Nota di divulgazione: in qualità di associato Amazon, guadagno una piccola commissione dagli acquisti effettuati tramite i collegamenti in questa pagina.

The post Overwhelm Starting at 8 weeks old: Should I even try?? appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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What do you do when your babysitter gives you a weird look about EC? How can you give caregivers the tools and confidence to practice EC with your child even when you're not around? Listen for THE thing to do plus tips for setting your child's caregiver up for success!

You will hear: * the FIRST thing to do with a new caregiver * a foolproof way explain EC to a caregiver * easy tips for setting the caregiver up for EC success * when backups can work with the process * tools for a smooth care + EC transition

Links and other resources mentioned today: * Daycare + EC blog post * Easy Catch #1 * Easy Catch #2 * Easy Catch #3 * Easy Catch #4 * Top Hat Potty * Mini Potty * Tiny Trainers * Tiny Ups

Download the Transcript If you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: Getting Caregivers to Consistently EC (at home babysitter and nanny)

Read the full written transcript Expand

Today we're going to talk about getting caregivers to consistently EC and specifically we're going to talk about home babysitters, nannies, people at home that you want to consistently do EC with your baby. You can read the full written transcript and see links to anything I mention in today's show over at godiaperfree.com/177, and also, feel free to ask questions or comment in the comments over there. We'll see you over there.

Hey there, welcome to the Go Diaper Free podcast. I'm Andrea Olson, your host, author, and mom of five babies, all EC'd from birth, all out of diapers by walking.

How do we get a caregiver that you have at your house to consistently EC? This is a babysitter, a nanny, your mother-in-law, grandma, whatever, whoever is watching your baby, maybe it's your husband or your partner or whatever and you can't get them to consistently do EC when your baby's out of your care, which makes you feel kind of trapped. Like, "Boy, am I ever going to be able to leave this baby and go shopping, take a shower, do work, take care of myself, go out," any of those things. Because you feel guilty because when you're not there, they're not being EC'd, and that's a problem for you. And I have totally been there and I get that.

And over the course of five babies and especially living in Asheville, North Carolina, where people are nuts, I now have very consistent nannies and babysitters, but I have gone through at least 50 or 60 of them because of the level of flakiness in our town. And I will tell you, I have trained so many of them, including daycares and preschools, which we're not going to talk about in today's episode, but I have trained so many that I can just tell you very easily how to do it.

Okay. Are you ready? It's pretty simple. The first thing you want to do is talk to them about what you do. Now, you have the right to request anybody watching your baby. It's a little more difficult with family members, I get that. But you have the right to say, "Okay, my child, we do this this way. We do feeding this way. This is when her naps are, and this is what we do for potty." That is just part of the big picture.

If you have somebody who's more of an indigenous person from an intact culture, maybe a third world country where they already do EC, you can go ahead and say, "Hey, did your mom or your grandma... Have you ever seen this practice before of pottying babies early?" And if you've got somebody from Thailand or Vietnam, or I don't mean to generalize, but places where they still do EC, Mexico, we got South America, Brazil. If you've got somebody from there, Africa, China, they're probably going to be like, "Oh yeah, totally. That's how I was pottied growing up and I do know how to do that." Then it's easy. Then you need to say, "Okay. Well, we're doing that." And you just tell them, "This is my baby's timing. My baby's signals. This is what to expect, et cetera."

So, the first thing I want to say is that you have full permission to do this. This is your baby and you're paying this person. They're your employees. You get to tell them what you want done. Unless it's a family member, in which case, it's a favor and in that case, you want to approach it slightly differently, okay? That's all I want to say about that. If they are from an indigenous culture, definitely take advantage of that and just be like, "Hey, what do you know about this?" Because you might learn something from them.

The next thing I want you to do, no matter who it is, paid or not is show them how. While you're talking, you've got your baby and then, or maybe your baby wakes up from the nap while talking to them about caregiving, and you bring them over to the potty and say, "Hey, just come here with me. And you have them watch." Proof is in the pudding, you guys. When they see it, they're like, "Oh man, okay. That's cool and wow," but they'll start to feel like incompetent. "I don't know how to do that. Am I going to let you down?" So what we want to do, if possible, and usually... I work from home. Now I have my Garage Mahal behind me. I've got this huge space where I can work and dance and play and all that and do homeschool.

But before, I worked in my bedroom for 10 years, so somebody would come over, I'd say, "Hey, tidy up the house. Do whatever. When the baby wakes up, bring the baby directly to me. Don't let the baby fuss around very long. So she'd have to monitor. She'd bring the baby to me when she woke up, I would take the baby's diaper off, bring the baby over to the sink or the toilet and potty her. So I would have done the foundational pee.

After doing that a couple of times, and then I would nurse the baby and then give the baby to the caregiver. And what I would say is, "When she fusses for the first time after I hand her over to you, I want you to offer the potty and this is how to do it." And this is so important you guys. Set the expectation really low. "I really don't care if you catch anything ever. That relieves all the pressure on these people you guys, because they're like, "Oh, I cannot... I can do all the things, but I can't. I've never done this before."

So we want to lose the pressure, no expectations. We want to be there a few times and we really, especially with a young baby, we want to hinge off of wake up times. When the child wakes up, bring her to me and you do this three or four times. Then the next time say, "All right, when the baby wakes up, you go ahead and potty her this time. Then bring her to meet to me to nurse." Then you give her back. "The first time she fusses, you potty her, okay? And even the first fuss, the very first day of work, bring the baby to me when she wakes up, okay. I potty her. I nurse her. I give her to the caregiver, bring her to me when the baby first fusses and then I will potty her." So you're going to demonstrate that a few times and be there for it. If you can be there. Great.

If you can't be there, because you have to go off to work or something just say, "Hey, when baby wakes up, do this, show her the Top Hat Potty, the sink, whatever. Show her how to hold the baby in position, or him or her, underneath the thighs, head leaning against your back and just, or if you have a mini potty, here's how to..." Just sit her around the Mini Potty and then say, "I don't expect you to catch anything. Use the diaper as a backup.

But in our household, the diaper is not a toilet. I just want you to know. And we are responding to our baby's needs so I can teach you some things and leave it at that." Try not to over talk, because I definitely over talk with them. The other thing I'm going to say is just give them some, especially with husbands, we want to give them an opportunity to be winners, to have success because that's going to encourage them to keep going. Men hate feeling like a failure. I know that from all this research I've done and also from personal experience. We want to set them up for success so that they feel competent and this is something new to them. So any caregiver you're leaving your child with, "Hey, offer the potty at wake ups and write it on a piece of paper or chalkboard. Offer at wake up for easy catches. When baby starts to poop, like I don't really want her pooping in her diaper and you probably shouldn't want to clean that up." So when they poop just say, wait really gently and have them finish on the toilet. Just like a two-year-old would, right? So wake ups, poops. Hey, every time..." And this is the greatest thing about a caregiver. "Hey, every time you change my baby's diaper," because that's what they're used to. "Every time you change my baby's diaper, can you please offer the potty.

And I've got this potty right here. For those of you who can see and are not just listening, this Mini Potty from Tiny Undies. Just have them hold the baby over it and just offer the potty hat. If it's a toddler, have her sit down on it. ECs for 0 to 18 months. This is really the range that I'm talking about. With 18 months and up, you just want to potty train and then just finish the potty training without the caregiver or have the caregiver help you potty train and then it's just maintenance, all that.

We're not talking about that today. We're talking about EC with babies at home. Okay. So give them the Four Easy Catches. Every time you change a diaper, offer the potty. I don't care if you catch anything. It's just this way of giving the baby something to depend on. Every time, let's see, I wake up, I'm going to get offered. Every time I need to poop, I'm going to get offered. Every time I have a diaper change, I'm going to get an opportunity, pottytunity, opportunity for a potty. And we talked about pottytunities recently.

And then what's the fourth easy catch? Oh, the fourth easy catch is going to only benefit the caregiver. Like, "Hey, she usually poops in her high chair. So why don't you offer before she gets in the high chair and let her poop so you don't have to deal with all that fussiness and food everywhere and all that crap? Literally." So you could talk about ins and outs and you could talk about transition times at work for you. Like if you're having your caregiver bathe your child, "Hey, offer the potty before the bath so that she's going to go to the bathroom in the bathtub." Everybody wins. Of course, I'm going to offer.

Offer when the baby gets out of the bath before you put them in new clothes so you don't have to change the diaper right away, because she's going to pee in the diaper and then you're going to have to change it anyway. So just bring up the Four Easy Catches as a way to make it make sense to the caregiver so that you show him or her that you're taking something off their plate as a caregiver, but also doing something that really matters to you and your values as a family.

The last two things I want to say, oh man, use a backup, especially if you already ditched diapers and you're already out of diapers and you're at 12, 13 months, then we want to use maybe a training pant like my Tiny Trainers at Tiny Undies or you maybe want to use a Tiny Ups pull up cover. I have those here for those of you who can see.

So you may want to use training pants with some padding or this is a cover, it's a TinyUp cover, that you can put over the training pants or do solo, but just a little extra because you know how it is when your baby pees on the floor. It's a little bit stressful, and if your baby's not quite there yet, but is poop-trained, then totally put them in something just with a tiny bit of padding if it doesn't derail the process.

And I also just want to mention that sending them to daycare, having them with a caregiver with a diaper on is actually okay. Just tell them, "Hey, Nana is new at this so you'll just have a diaper on while she watches you," and they'll get it. They're smart and they understand language before they can even talk. So don't worry about that. Do the best you can, use a backup if you feel like you should.

And then the last thing I want to talk about for this particular topic, getting caregivers to consistently EC at home is to tell them to treat... If they are a babysitter or a nanny or even a mom or grandma or a friend, a woman who's a mom already or grandma, somebody who's been around kids, "Hey, treat my child like a two-year-old." So, when would you take a two year-old to the bathroom, you know they can't hold it that long. So they need to go after lunch or whatever, before they go outside to play, before you put all their clothes on, when they wake up." So just have them zoom out and think as if they're dealing with a two-year-old, which a lot of babysitters have dealt with two-year-olds and then you can reframe things for them. And they're like, "Oh, this is like a tiny version of a two-year-old."

That's all I have to say about that. Hopefully this helps you get your home caregivers to consistently EC. And that's it. Please go to godiaperfree.com/177 to see the full written transcript. Comment, leave a comment, see what other people are commenting and let us know what are you doing today to get your home caregiver to consistently EC. We would love to learn from you there and we'll see you next time.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

Watch the Video Version (new!) If you want to watch me record today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Thanks for Listening! To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
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Do you have a caregiver who helps with EC? What’s your best tip for EC when caregivers are involved? Please leave a comment below with your thoughts I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Nota di divulgazione: in qualità di associato Amazon, guadagno una piccola commissione dagli acquisti effettuati tramite i collegamenti in questa pagina.

The post Getting Caregivers to Consistently EC (at home babysitter and nanny) appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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That look, that grunt...right smack in the middle of breastfeeding (or bottle feeding). What is an EC-ing mama to do with poops during a feed? Learn why this happens, how to prevent it (yay!) and three ways to handle poops during breasfeeding.

You will hear: * why babies poop while nursing * what to look for that signals in impending poop * how to prevent poops during nursing * three ways to be prepared for a poop during nursing * the best thing to keep in mind during this phase

Links and other resources mentioned today: * Mini mirror with adhesive * Cloth wipes * Top Hat Potty * Waterproof Pad

Download the Transcript If you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: Newborn poops while nursing: what to do!

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Today, we're going to talk about what to do when your newborn poops while nursing. How do we start EC when that's also pretty unpredictable, and because they're so small? So, we're going to talk about that today. Please go to godiaperfree.com/176 to join in the conversation during, or after you listen to this if you have any questions or comments, and we'll see you there.

Hey there. Welcome to the Go Diaper Free Podcast. I'm Andrea Olson, your host, author, and mom of five babies, all EC from birth, all out of diapers by walking.

When your baby poops while nursing only and you haven't started EC yet, maybe this is you, I think the odds are against you and your mindset. You're like, "Okay, my baby's pooping all the time especially when I have her on the breast. How in the world can I do EC and try to catch these in the potty? I know my baby doesn't want to do this, but why is this happening, and how in the world can I start EC?"

Why is this happening? Maybe this is you, but your baby gets on the breast and you've pottied them beforehand, maybe you caught a pee before you put them on the breast, and then they just poop. The reason this happens for you guys is because your baby's relaxed. Your baby's like, "Oh man, my whole body's relaxed. I'm getting massive amounts of oxytocin coming in. I'm connecting with my mom. I'm in the moment." All these things are released, and then you have a poop in the diaper, which is where you don't want it. That's a little bit on the why.

And also maybe when you offered... When your baby wakes up, with a brand new born, they're going to need to go pee because of the antidiuretic hormone. They just have to. That's how babies are made. That's how we were created. We're perfect the way we are. We don't need diapers, but we live in the modern world. What we want to do is when they wake up, we want to offer the potty. Here's a little toy baby. I have her knees don't bend though. I don't like this one. But we would hold them over the sink like this. You see? Her knees would be bent and curled in because they're like this when they're first born. They're like these little balls.

We would hold them over the sink right after waking up before nursing and go. And I alternate those signals and... When I alternate the signals, I'm also just giving this primal cue. So if this is happening to you and your baby's pooping while nursing, and we're talking about when they wake up, you could prevent this.

There is a way to prevent it. I've started from birth with all five of mine, so I have a bit of experience here, along with all the people I've helped with this. But you could offer a little longer. They wake up, the hormone wears off, bladder fills, and they go pee. Usually you have to go poop because you have a lot of cell production and a lot of waste. That's why their poop is yellowish, greenish, mustardy, because they are producing and then shedding away so much byproduct from building a body. It's pretty cool. If they're exclusively breastfed, they're going to have this yellow, mustardy, squishy poop, or it's more like watery mustard. Sorry, if you're eating. Probably don't watch my lives if you're eating. Okay. Don't listen to my podcast while you're eating either, by the way, because this is going to go on my podcast.

But what I want you to do is just take a little bit more space and time when you're holding your baby over the sink or the toilet or wherever you do that when they wake up. We're holding them over. We're going... And we're alternating... I hope I'm not queuing your babies to go to the bathroom, those of you listening with babies right now, but I have to demonstrate how to do it because you might feel weird doing it in front of thousands of people like I'm doing right now, but I don't care. I'm used to it. We're going to alternate this signal, and then just wait a couple of minutes and see.

Now, here's how you can literally see and try to catch a poop before you breastfeed after they wake up. You can put a little locker mirror or a very small mirror on your sink, and do this at your sink, or you can put it on the back of the toilet seat. You can even find a stick-on mirror to put there so that while you're holding them in EC position over your sink or toilet, you could actually look at their sphincter. I know it sounds weird, but trust me on this one. Once I introduced a little locker mirror on the sink, it was a game changer. Because then, I can see that they pee, but a lot of babies will poop first and pee second, and that shows that they're done pooping. It's different for every child, but just stick with me.

If you have the mirror there and you can see this sphincter opening or closing, you can also see if they start to open their anal sphincter and that means that a poop is coming, so you have fair warning. Do not take them on a position. Do not think that it's too long to have them in position. If you need to cradle them to make them a little more comfortable, for those of you who can see this recording, this video, this live, whatever, you can have them in the nook of your elbow so that you're not just like, "Gosh, is my baby so tired of being held up?" But you want to give them a chance, so that's one way to prevent that, pooping while nursing.

The other thing is to be prepared while you're nursing. This applies to bottle feeding too, so don't... "I only bottle feed. Don't make me feel bad for not breastfeeding." I don't care if you breastfeed or your bottle feed. What I want to do is give you the option of what to do if they start to do the number two while you're trying to nurse. So here I am, nursing my baby. Sometimes they start to pop off or smack a little bit, and that's a signal that they need to poop. We've already offered before they're nursing. If your baby's super fussy, and I get it, you can't offer the potty beforehand. They're like, "Give me a breast now." We put them on the breast. I have a Top Hat Potty in my hand. You can get those at tinyundies.com, my other store, or on Amazon.

You put it between your legs. Then when the baby pops off or starts to poop, you've got your baby naked. You might want to have a little, a cloth, baby wipe kind of thing, a reusable, like a rag or something underneath her bottom just in case, because you really don't want to get that all over yourself, on the couch. But you're going to either just lift the potty up to be underneath her bottom like so, if you're looking, or you want to completely take her off the breast. Just turn her around in your lap and potty over the top hat right then. Can you see that? Okay. Those of you just listening probably can't see, but we're going to just make an easy transition to pooping on the top hat potty, then we will transition back. We've got that little cloth that we had. We're going to wipe any excess, which usually it's a clean one with an exclusively breastfed child.

Did they have toilet paper back in the day? No. Couple thousand years ago, did they use toilet paper? No. And when we're eating healthy and normal food and diets that we're supposed to eat as hunters and gatherers, the poop would come out clean and you wouldn't need to wipe, but we have such a terrible diet and all this constipation issues that we get, like poops that are hard to wipe. With a brand new, fresh baby, they're going to poop pretty clean, and I always say it's a clean one. I don't even wipe a clean one. I don't, because wiping these tender areas when they're new is not a good idea.

You can put that cloth back on their bum or whatever. Yeah. We want to have them... And when they pop off, we would unlatch them. Just stick your finger in and break the seal, pull them off and put them on the potty. Usually, they won't cry because they really have the need to poop, and they're going to pause eating to poop. Once they're done with that, you put them back on, and get a full feeding. Be aware that they might pee after that, or there might be more poop, so I want to keep that cloth there just in case. That's option number one, is a top hat potty, besides prevention.

Option number two is this Waterproof Pad. This wet dry pad, I sell these at Tiny Undies. Oh man, these are so much better than the Kushies ones that I had with all my other kids. They have a waterproof backing and this really soft cotton top. You can get those at Tiny Undies too. You would nurse with this pad on your lap and just have your baby over it, and prop your knees up a little bit. Nursing, nursing, nursing. Maybe they don't pop off. Maybe they don't signal. Maybe they just stealth poop and they just start going. Because she's saying, the woman who wrote me about this, was like, "It's unpredictable, and I'm scared because she's so small."

Oh you guys, I went to Africa when I was 20 and those women handled their babies, over in Ghana. I was there for dance and they danced with a brand new newborn's head flopping all over the place. Those kids were walking, running, dancing, talking, doing all the things earlier than our American babies, and that is my unscientific, completely anecdotal experience of that.

But what I'm saying is, the first thing that a woman taught me when I had my first baby was to handle him, to not be afraid to handle him. He's not made of porcelain. Obviously, you want to be careful with your baby and not do something stupid, but you also have to realize that it's okay to hold your baby and to move them around, and they're not going to get hurt. I know it's just a new, first time mom thing, totally. When the baby needs to go, you just either fold this pad up a little bit and let them poop on the pad. Yes. I let them poop on the pad, because why not? I can just easily rinse it off in the sink and wash it. You can do that if you don't feel comfortable having a top hat or you don't have a top hat in your lap.

And then when they're done pooping, you fold that part over on itself and then you continue to nurse. They don't even have to let go to poop, and some babies can do that. I can't. I can't poop and eat at the same time. I don't know about you, but it's a little bit hard. You need to switch gears and do one rather than the other. Depending on your baby, that's what you'll do with a pad. And then, you can even use the pad, because both sides of this are so nice, to wipe her little tush if you would like to. That's how to do it with a pad too.

The third way is if they poop every time you nurse and you're just trying to start out. The third thing, besides prevention, is to have them in a diaper, let them poop in their diaper and know that this will pass and won't be that long. Let them poop in the diaper and just grunt along with them, so you're building sound association. It's like when we give a child an apple and we do a little sign language, like an apple, and we say the word. We're teaching them the language for that food. For the baby, we're going to teach them the language as well while they're pooping, like when you're potty training a puppy outside. When they go pee, you say, "Go potty." You don't say, "Go potty," beforehand. You do it while they're doing it.

I look down. My baby's like... They look like they're smiling. They're not smiling. They're pooping, and you just go... while they're going, and that is literally it. That counts as EC, you guys. High five. That means you've done it, and that means that you are absolutely making all this easier for you in the future, by doing the sound association while they're going. And then when they're finished nursing and you're done, you just change the diaper and wipe it all up.

The last thing I want to say about that is this too shall pass. They're not going to poop and nurse forever. In fact, it usually only ever lasts a couple days to a couple of weeks, so just know that... I'm still nursing my little baby in this demonstration. Oh, I miss having babies. Just remember this will pass. This isn't going to last forever, and that's all I want to say about the person who is worried about starting because they're newborn poops while nursing. There are three different things you can do, and also one preventive measure for that. Hopefully, that makes sense to you all.

Again, you can see the show notes for this whole conversation, including the entire transcript. Leave comments, ask questions over godiaperfree.com/176. Please leave a comment over there and let us know. Have you started when your newborn is pooping while nursing? Have you been doing EC in that way? What is your biggest trick for that? We'd love to learn from you over there in the comments as well, or just ask your questions if you don't have any ideas.

Well, we'll see you next week. Thanks for listening. Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free Podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

Watch the Video Version (new!) If you want to watch me record today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

Thanks for Listening! To help out the show and help more parents find out about EC:

Leave an honest review on iTunes. Your ratings and reviews really help and I read each one.
Subscribe on iTunes
Share your thoughts by leaving a note in the comments section below!

Does your newborn poop while you’re trying to nurse or bottle-feed? Which tip are you going to try today? Please leave a comment below with your thoughts I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

Nota di divulgazione: in qualità di associato Amazon, guadagno una piccola commissione dagli acquisti effettuati tramite i collegamenti in questa pagina.

The post Newborn Poops While Nursing: What to do! appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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Dietician mom Jennifer thought she knew ALL the tricks to healthy eating...until her son refused to eat what she served! Hear how Jennifer met experience with expertise and refreshed her family's feeding strategy....and how you, too, can take the power struggles out of feeding and give your kids a healthy relationship with food!

You will hear: * best practices for feeding children + how to balance those with reality * parents' #1 feeding struggle and how to address it * what to do when a feeding strategy fails * what pickiness really signifies (+ tips for especially picky eaters!) * how bribing and forcing both work against long-term healthy eating goals * the “8 Tastes” rule * how to set the table and mealtime atmosphere to make food appealing + reduce food waste * how to make every bite count!

Links and other resources mentioned today: * Kids Eat in Color on Instagram – more exciting things coming soon! * Affordable Flavors FREE frugal meal plans * Better Bites (Kids Eat in Color picky eater’s course) * Real Easy Weekdays meal plans (including allergy adjustments for “Top 8” allergens)

Download the Transcript If you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: Picky Eaters 101 (+ Helping Your Little Kids Eat Healthy!): An interview with Jennifer of Kids Eat in Color

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This is episode 175 and today I'm interviewing Jennifer from Kids Eat in Color. Oh my goodness. This interview is amazing. I hope you guys enjoy it. You can check out the full written transcript and links to all the things I mentioned in today's show at godiaperfree.com/175, and be sure to hop over there at the end of this interview which is quite long, I'm warning you, but it's so informative. If you have any comments or questions, please go over to those show notes after you've listened and let us know. I look forward to seeing you there and enjoy the interview.

Hey there, welcome to the Go Diaper Free podcast. I'm Andrea Olson, your host, author, and mom of five babies, all EC from birth, all out of diapers by walking.

Andrea:

All right, you guys, I have a wonderful guest on the podcast today. And I know I usually don't do very many interviews, but lately you guys have been blowing us up with all the people that you follow on Instagram and Facebook and YouTube, and you want us to help these people you've been finding for us, tell you more about what they do. So, this is a crossover episode. We're not going to be talking about EC or potty training really at all. We're going to be talking about eating and feeding kids and all the things with that.

And my guest today is a mom, a wife, and a registered dietician. Her name is Jennifer and she runs Kids Eat in Color. The biggest thing I can see that Jennifer offers that is a parallel to what we do at Go Diaper Free is this kind of non-judgment, "Here's the whole spectrum, wherever you're at, we're going to help you with this specific topic. And this topic is key to your child's development." At Go Diaper Free same here, right? So, we're definitely on the same page. And now Jennifer, welcome to the show, first of all.

Jennifer:

Thank you so much, Andrea. It's good to be here.

Andrea:

And I would love for you to tell my audience a little bit about how you got into, how you transitioned from being a dietician, which I imagine would be more general, to specifically focusing on helping parents feed their kids.

Jennifer:

Sure. So it really started when I had trouble feeding my son. And I thought, "I am a dietician. This is so hard for me. How come this is much harder than I thought I would be?" My first son stopped gaining weight as they expected, and so I just learned really, really quickly as a parent, that feeding kids can be really tricky. And as we continued to work through his eating issues, I really had to specialize my knowledge. And when he was three and went to preschool, I started an Instagram account because I thought, "You know what? I can't be the only parent struggling with feeding my child." And it turns out I wasn't.

Andrea:

You not only weren't, but you have one and a half million followers. So clearly, you're onto something here

Jennifer:

Right? Yeah. Parents are struggling. Parents everywhere. It's tricky. It's tricky feeding kids.

Andrea:

It really is. And especially something so scary as that. Was that your first child?

Jennifer:

Mm-hmm

Andrea:

Yeah. So, first time mom and your child stops gaining weight. What do you do? I personally would freak out. I would have a really hard time. So, how did you figure out, and how did you create what you offer parents now? What was sort of your organic path into all that?

Jennifer:

Yeah, so first I just specialized my own knowledge. What are the best practices of feeding kids? The pediatrician, just right off the bat, it went from "Hey, your child is not gaining weight as expected," to, "You need to use PediaSure." And I just took a step back because as a dietician, I had done my training in pediatric eating setting. And there were a lot of situations where we saw kids who couldn't eat food, because they had gotten stuck on PediaSure. And I thought, while that is an important medical food, is that really the first line? Is that really... Do we just go from, "Hey, we have an eating issue here," to, "We need to go to PediaSure." And that gave me pause and also got me into child feeding. What is the research around child feeding? What are the best practices? What can we be aiming for that will help our kids, whether they're not eating enough, whether they're eating more than we're expecting, whether they're picky. And it just opened up an entire world understanding feeding kids, which is much more complicated than we would like to believe.

Andrea:

Oh, absolutely. So for my audience's information, what is PediaSure? Because we have a lot of moms of infants, brand new. Is that a product that's just for toddlers? Is it for all ages?

Jennifer:

Oh, great question. And I can't believe I didn't answer that.

Andrea:

That's okay.

Jennifer:

So PediaSure... And it could be Boost, it could be PediaSure. There's all sorts of names for these. Orgain. It's a drink. It's a fortified drink that has extra calories and then extra nutrients. So, there's all sorts of different varieties of these things, but basically it's a drink. It's usually really sweet so the kids will drink it. And then, for kids who have failure to thrive or other eating issues, it may be a useful tool in the feeding toolbox.

Andrea:

I see. And I think my grandpa was drinking the Boost before he passed away. They were giving it to him. So, this is kind of literally all ages, except but not babies, with babies it would be formula, and then they move into something like PediaSure?

Jennifer:

Yep. So, when they're babies, generally they'll be given like high calorie formula or something like that.

Andrea:

Okay. I got it. And yeah. So you started thinking, "Okay, this doesn't make sense for me, especially as a dietician." You're healing people with food. I mean, that's your nature. So, how did you adapt that to your child and how old was he or she when this happened?

Jennifer:

Our first conversations were around nine months and then by... Within months they were recommending PediaSure. And I just thought, "Okay, it seems like we've escalated this very quickly." We've gone from breastfeeding and then introducing solids and that sort of thing. And now we're at PediaSure. But I did begin to explore, how do we add high calorie foods? How do we make every single bite count? High calorie foods at every single meal and snack, beginning with complimentary feeding, which is while they're still drinking breast milk or formula. So, making sure those things have added fats, the proteins, all those things have the calories, the energy, and then going easy on some of the lighter foods. Cheerios is the only one that comes to mind, but of course I fed my-

Andrea:

Things that don't do much of anything.

Jennifer:

But I did plenty of Cheerios, too.

Andrea:

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so it makes sense. So, you're really just beefing up the diet massively, because your child was... Were you told that he was failing to thrive?

Jennifer:

He didn't quite get to that diagnosis, but it was... We're almost there. We're almost on the edge of going to the pediatric gastroenterologist. If he doesn't gain weight in this amount of, then you're going to get a referral to this one. And so it was constantly coming in for weight checks, doing this, doing that. And I mean, that's stressful. Anytime you have a pediatrician asking for additional information about your child, it just causes a little bit more anxiety and stress about something. And then you're thinking, "Oh my gosh, did I fail? What's wrong with me? Is it just my kid? Are other parents experiencing this?"

Andrea:

Totally.

Jennifer:

There's so many things that I think we think as parents, when our kids' path goes a little off mainstream.

Andrea:

Right. The guilt and the shame and the, "What did I do wrong?"

Jennifer:

Right.

Andrea:

And this baby's only nine months old. Were you breastfeeding at the time?

Jennifer:

I was. Yep. But it was really when he... I mean, he was a chunk as a breastfeeding only baby. I mean, very, very chunky. He was 20 pounds at six months old. And then all of a sudden we started introducing the complementary foods and then it was just like zoom. And he also learned how to walk. So by nine months he was walking and then he's often running, burning calories and never sitting still to eat them.

Andrea:

Oh my gosh. Well, it sounds like you really solved it. And I would love to know, with Kids Eat in Color, what is your main... What do you find that most parents struggle with the most, that you're most able to help them with?

Jennifer:

Sure. So I think as parents, we often worry that our children are getting the right amount of food. And there's a couple worries that come with that. We're worried that we're doing the best for our child. We are worried about our child being healthy. We have a lot of these worries and we kind of have to fall back on whatever life experiences we've had or how we were raised to try to solve these problems that come up. And often, the techniques that we're using aren't giving us the results that we want, but we don't have any other techniques to fall back on. So we just keep doing them, right? And then it just kind of builds this angst and frustration around us. So, if we're obsessed with doing the best, we may be doing a lot of research about feeding and kind of trying to figure out what is the best? What is the top recommendation? What is the best food I give you by child? We may be really obsessed with this concept of the best.

And in the meantime, we're degrading our own mental health. And also we get frustrated anytime our life experience and our child isn't fitting in with this concept that we have, that something is the best, whether it's how I weaned my baby, or what foods I'm feeding my baby, or what happens if I have a one year old who became excessively picky? What do I do about that? Because they're not eating the best diet. They're not eating a variety of foods. So, we have a lot of angst and our mental health goes down. Or let's say we do have a picky eater. And in our home, when we were growing up you just, you had to eat it, otherwise you had to sit there all night. There's all these pressure tactics that parents put on kids and are thinking, "Well, this is my tool. This is my toolbox that I have, to just kind of force the child to eat." And it's not working. The child is not eating.

Andrea:

I know everybody listening is probably like, "Okay, then what do I do?" Because I personally, I have five children. They're ages 3 to 11. They will all eat anything, except for the four and a half year old, who has decided that he does not like chili. He does not like meatloaf. He does not like spaghetti. Basically anything I say that's for dinner, except for my Filipino dish, chicken adobo, that we passed down in our family for generations. That's the only thing he will eat, or says he likes. And then he's like, "Will you just make me a hot dog? Make me something else." And he'll make it himself even. And I'm just like, "What do I do?" So I know everybody listening is probably like, "Okay, I definitely have one kid who's picky. I feel like all they're eating is processed snack foods or bread or mac and cheese. And it's organic, but I literally can't get them to eat anything else." What would be your advice for those listening, and for me as well, for that situation. What do you do?

Jennifer:

Right. So, in that case, and I love that you have four children who... you're probably like, "But I've been doing the same thing for 11 years."

Andrea:

I did this for all of them. Yeah.

Jennifer:

"How did I end up with a picky eater?" And what I love about that is it points out that it's not you that is somehow causing your child to be picky. And there's a huge narrative out there that is like, if your child is picky, that reflects poorly on you as a parent.

Andrea:

And you're a pushover or you're too lenient, or you're just... yeah.

Jennifer:

Yeah, any number of things, right? And you're thinking, "Nope, I'm a pro mom. I've got five kids. Four of them are not picky and the one in the middle, I don't know, they just are."

Andrea:

Right.

Jennifer:

And that speaks to how complicated picky eating can be. And because of that, because you have four kids who are not picky, and one who is, that makes me think that the four year old has something else, has another barrier that they're having to kind of overcome to address eating to them. And one thing to keep in mind is, you know what? That hot dog? That hot dog is going to taste the exact same every single time. It is always going to be that hot dog. The same Mac and cheese out of the same box, the same brand, it's always going to be the same. That meatloaf? Who knows what might be in that meatloaf. It might be the same as you made it last week, or it might have a different size cut to the onions, or it may have a little more sauce or a little less sauce, or a little more of this, a little bit of that. That's a wild card. Same with the spaghetti. What if it's a sauce that's got a little bit more of this or a little less cheese or this different shape pasta?

We forget that for some kids, this break in the norm can be distressing to them and they don't know how to expect it. Now, in general, if you had said, "Oh, I have five kids and they're all picky." I would come back to the basics. Like, what are the conditions that we have at home that enable picky eating? Because a lot of kids, I mean, you know, they hit one, they start having opinions. By two, they have a lot of opinions. And some of those are going to be about food.

Andrea:

I also have a three year old. I'm laughing because, oh man, she's whining about everything just this week. And I'm like... I explained to everybody in the car today, this is called being illogical, which will happen until she's seven. And we have three who are under seven. And my six year old's like, "I'm very logical." And I'm like, "No, you're not." Yeah. So, obviously I'm not enabling all of them to be picky, but they all have their different... The three year old really wants... her sense of order is very strong right now, which is totally normal developmentally. And the four and a half year old, yes, I can see what you're saying. He needs predictability. He needs a sure thing. And he's also having stress about saying goodbye and all that. Everybody listening, you know when your kid is going through something. And you can't probably figure it out until you're looking backwards at it in the future and going, "Oh, it must have been this."

Like, "I went through a divorce this year. Could it be that he's picky eating because I went through a divorce?" I'm thinking yes. And we have the same thing with elimination communication, with our infant potty training.

Jennifer:

Yeah.

Andrea:

And something happens and a blip happens there, I always tell people to zoom out and to see what else is going on in the child's life. Is there illness, travel, a death in the family, a divorce, a move, something like that?

Jennifer:

Yep.

Andrea:

And if there is, it's important to make everything feel stable for the child, and then those EC problems go away.

Jennifer:

Right.

Andrea:

It's almost like diagnosing, what is the root cause?

Jennifer:

Yeah. And we do. We do see the same thing with picky eating, for sure. But when you're generally kind of following the practices of, "I'm not enabling picky eating my home," meaning "I'm the parent. I'm in charge of what food I have in my house. I'm in charge of the menu. I go to the grocery store or order groceries or whatever I do these days. And I'm in charge of that. I'm also in charge of when food is available. It's just not available all the time." And I'm one of five. And as a mom of five, I'm sure you know. Like, "No, you can't just eat whenever you want. That would be complete and utter chaos.

Andrea:

And I'm not a short order cook. I do not make a different dish for each person. This is what we're having. If you don't like it, I'm sorry.

Jennifer:

Yeah.

Andrea:

I try to make things that I know that they like, and I try to vary it.

Jennifer:

Yeah.

Andrea:

It's still like you can't please everybody. So, you're basically saying that if you're enabling them, that means you're going to the grocery store, you're making sure to get only the things that your kids absolutely love and you don't diversify and you don't even try.

Jennifer:

Yeah. In fact, maybe you just ask your child, "What do you want? What do you want?" But you know what? That's just not their job. I mean, it's just not their job to be in charge of what they... They don't know. I mean, maybe they just know pasta.

Andrea:

It's pretty.. to ask your child to be the boss of anything, in any way, at that age.

Jennifer:

Right. They're not. Yeah. I mean, they're just... that's not their job. Now, on the other hand, it is their job to decide whether they're going to eat it and how much they're going to eat. And that's the balance where we're saying, "Hey, I'm in charge. No, you can't eat food in the bathroom." Or whatever your rule is. "You can't eat in your bed." Whatever. Again, whatever your rules are, you're saying, "Here's the structure. I'm creating the structure in the home. But also you're in charge of your body. You decide whether you're hungry at this mealtime that I've provided, and you decide if you are full, and whether you're going to eat the food that's available."

Andrea:

So the parents set the structure, these are the guidelines. This is when and where we eat. And this is what we're having. And the child decides, because it's their body, whether and how much.

Jennifer:

Right.

Andrea:

And you guys listening, this is the same as EC. We offer. We call it a pottytunity, and it's opportunity to go to the bathroom when they wake up, or when we see that they need to poop. And it's up to the child whether or not they will go at that time. And literally, it's their body.

Jennifer:

Right.

Andrea:

So, there's so many parallels. I'm so surprised.

Jennifer:

Yeah. Well, I mean, so much of it comes down to the core parenting strategies that people have all over the world. And I used to think, "Am I sort of pushing some sort of ideal out there that is very culturally relevant to mine and not necessarily other places?" And of course there's different parenting strategies all over the world and all different cultures, over time. But it's amazing how many parents from so many different cultures are like, "Oh my gosh, this solves so many problems for me," because it just kind of makes a little bit of its differentiation of, "Hey, you really are the only one who knows if you're hungry or full." I can't know that. It's like, I can't know if my child has a full bladder. How would I know that?

Andrea:

I know. And you can't know that child you child has to poop unless you see it happening, they're starting to push, you literally don't know until that moment happens.

Jennifer:

Right. Now, we can observe. And we can say, "Oh, it looks like you're hungry or you're acting fussy." There's so many things.

Andrea:

There's signs and signals as well. Yeah.

Jennifer:

Exactly. But really, I'm kind of trying to get you into routine here. Again, I'm saying, "Hey, this is your opportunity to eat. You don't have to take it. We're going to have another meal or snack in two or three hours," depending on the age of the kid. So, we're providing those opportunities over and over for kids to learn, to be in touch with their body, and then as adults, we're providing the structure. And that is what generally takes care of what I like to call mild picky eating, basic picky eating. It's like, your child is going to say sometimes, "No, I'm not going to eat that. That's disgusting. I'm revolted."

Andrea:

What would you do if they say no? You just say, "Oh, you can wait until the next time we eat"?

Jennifer:

"Okay, that's fine. You can eat it when you're ready." I mean, that's really, as the parent, that's our job, to just give them the space. They don't have to take it. Now, there are going to be times-

Andrea:

And what if they have a massive tantrum? What if they're like, "Well, you have to make me something. I'm going to starve."

Jennifer:

And the answer is, "No, you're not going to starve because I give you six eating opportunities a day."

Andrea:

Right.

Jennifer:

So, "I'm not going to reason with you, but also, that's a ridiculous thing." And yes, are they going to have a tantrum? For sure. You cannot make it through parenting a two year old or a one year old, or an eight year old, without tantrums. I mean, it's just part of the thing.

Andrea:

It's their makeup. Right. It's the way they ask for what they need.

Jennifer:

Oh yeah.

Andrea:

Dysfunctional.

Jennifer:

And if we just kind of go through parenting and say, "Okay, my goal is to never have a tantrum, or to always prevent the tantrums." I mean-

Andrea:

that'd be terrible.

Jennifer:

Yeah, and it still won't work.

Andrea:

It won't work. It probably would cause more. Backfire. Yeah.

Jennifer:

Right. I mean, the reality is, the kids need structure, and they need pushback against the structure. They're going to have tantrums. Now, I will say this. I have actually not had a lot of tantrums with my kids. And we've had plenty of tantrums, but I've not had a lot over, "You didn't get up and make me what I want." Because I've never. Like. Too bad for you. I mean, I will not get up and make you a special meal. Just that's nothing that I've ever offered. That's nothing I've ever done. Doesn't mean that's... I mean, at some point it occurred to them that maybe that could happen. And so they asked for it, but I didn't. I mean, that's just not part of what we do in my house.

Andrea:

Right. So, I made a giant oopsie, everybody, you guys probably think I'm a perfect mom, because I had all my kids out of diapers by walking and, "Oh, Andrea's so perfect." Oh my, I have made a giant mistake with Branson, my four year old, because I have definitely buckled and said, "Instead of listening to you scream bloody murder for an hour," which is how he throws a tantrum, "I'm just going to make you this stinking hot dog." And I've done it. And since I've done it once, he now knows that that's an option and I have made a massive mistake.

Jennifer:

One time.

Andrea:

And I guess the question then is, and I would say the same thing for EC, for infant body training, you go back to the basics and say, "No, this is what we're having. These are the times. This is what's on offer. If you don't want it, you just have to wait." And then I could put in, I have these little things called loops. They bring the decibels down about 10 decibels.

Jennifer:

Yes.

Andrea:

They're like little earplug things. And they're awesome for moms. You guys, they're amazing. I'll throw a link in the show notes. You have to have them if your kids whine and it bothers you. I can't. I just, I'll put those and just stick to my guns and eventually he'll stop being picky. I'm assuming.

Jennifer:

Now, I would... I just want to caveat this, because there's so many different issues here. So, I would guess that in your home, based on the fact that the other four are not really picky, what we're seeing here is a more complicated picky eating case for him. Because if it wasn't, he would probably just be rolling with it more or less. So with him, and I never advocate for what I call starve it out, which is where parents say, "Okay, you eat this. It's only this and never..." I always like to do this. Always provide one food for that child who's picky that they know they're comfortable with. And you know what? That might be a hot dog. But the key is, you decide ahead of time that you're going to put a hot dog on the table and it's just on the table. It's part of it. And if you're just making that food available to him, it can cause issues. And then he thinks, "Oh, this is special food for me." Right?

Andrea:

Yep.

Jennifer:

Instead, if you can incorporate a food that he's comfortable with that everybody has, then it's not a special meal for him. It's just part of the family meal.

Andrea:

Oh, so I can make chili again. Oh, thank God I can make chili again, because I miss having chili on the menu. If I put out chili and a couple of hot dogs and just let them choose, or they can make of each.

Jennifer:

Yeah. Right.

Andrea:

This is game changing. You guys listening, if this is also game changing for you, please definitely go over the show notes and comment and just chime in, because this is like... It's hard.

Jennifer:

It is hard.

Andrea:

It makes everything harder. It's eating, just eat what I give you. It could be so simple. Just go potty when I offer it. He just doesn't. I know you need to go. I know you're hungry. I know you need a nap. I'm terrible with sleep training. So it's like, my challenge is that.

Jennifer:

Oh goodness, yeah.

Andrea:

And my challenge is this one child. And it's just like, there are solutions. We just have to find people who can help us. And I think that you're one of those people who can help us. I have a couple notes here about bribing for eating healthy foods.

Jennifer:

Yeah.

Andrea:

I kind of just want to hit a couple of these highlights, if you don't mind making a little comment on each of these, because it's so... just these little one-liners that Jen put together for me and was just like, "Oh man, these are huge." And then I want to know where people can find you and where we can learn more. And anything else you want to share with us. But okay, let's talk about this. We talked about one of these already. But no bribing with dessert, or treats, or privileges for eating healthy foods. So, "Hey, if you eat this broccoli, I will give you dessert." That's a no-no.

Jennifer:

Which makes sense. We would think that that's cool, right?

Andrea:

Yeah.

Jennifer:

What we don't realize is every time we do that, we say, "Dessert is good, broccoli is bad. In fact, broccoli is so bad that I have to give you dessert," which then puts dessert up on this pedestal. And what we see over time is a child has a greater desire for dessert and a lesser desire for broccoli. So, although to an adult mind, it makes sense, we're working against ourselves in the long run.

Andrea:

Yeah. We're setting them up. That's not communicating the right thing.

Jennifer:

Yeah.

Andrea:

I always go back to it with EC. I always go back to let's be very matter of fact and what would a woman in an intact culture, like living as a tribe, how would she manage her baby? It's very matter of fact. There's very little talking. It's very physical, and very much just the whole community, this is just what we do. And it's almost, I would imagine it's easier, because we don't have this disconnect with our knowledge that's been passed down, like what do I even do with this child? And then there's no chance for us to... When I was in Africa 21 years ago, I didn't see any manipulation, bribery, stuff like that going on. I just saw this super natural parenting spectrum that it just seemed like it was just unbroken. It was just like, this is what everybody does and everybody was super happy, including the kids. I did not witness a single tantrum or a single diaper.

Jennifer:

Wow.

Andrea:

Yeah.

Jennifer:

No tantrums. Okay, wow.

Andrea:

No tantrums. And these babies were sitting and walking and running and dancing way earlier than any of our kids. I mean, I was just... And babies on the back, heads wobbling all over the place when the mom is dancing. Like, a brand new baby. And when my babies came, I handled them. I wasn't afraid that they were a porcelain doll. I learned a little from it, but you think about it, yeah. They eat the same food every day there. It's just what they do. I got bored of it, because I'm spoiled.

Jennifer:

Right.

Andrea:

I'm a spoiled American. So yeah, it's so interesting how we've definitely... We think doing the right thing, but we're actually sabotaging the process by doing something that seems so innocent.

Jennifer:

Right. And so many of these things were passed down to us.

Andrea:

Bad habits.

Jennifer:

Yeah. I mean, it's just kind of like, "Oh, hey, we..." and I'm not exactly sure where it came from, but I'm sure we could trace a lot of it back to the food industry, right?

Andrea:

Velveeta, Kraft, marketing. And the same thing with the diaper companies. The Pampers. And they all had an agenda.

Jennifer:

Yep, all the marketing.

Andrea:

They all had an agenda to sell more products and to get brand loyalty. So, it literally changed the way we parent, right?

Jennifer:

Right. It's amazing. But I think where we can just step back and say, "We don't have to add dramas to this," right? "You can eat the broccoli or you cannot eat the broccoli," and I can decide, "Am I going to serve dessert or not serve dessert?" I don't have to serve it. I also can serve it.

Andrea:

Right.

Jennifer:

I'm the grownup. I can make that decision.

Andrea:

But they're not related.

Jennifer:

But I don't have to relate them.

Andrea:

Right. Okay. No drama. Don't add drama to the food, you guys, that's basically the point. Which brings me the vegetables. I always say, "You just have to have one bite of each thing on your plate," when I feel the struggle brewing and then everybody kind of colludes and they're like, "No, we're all going to strike right now. We're not going to... We're all going to be together on this." I know they like broccoli. I make them vegetables that they generally will eat. But I usually... At the end of it, when I just say, "All right, whatever. Just each of you, you take four bites of yours, because I don't see enough food gone. You take two more bites of yours and you're done." And that satisfies them. I wonder if that's what... A lot of us struggle with vegetables, getting our kids eat vegetables, especially the younger ones. Well, how do you handle that?

Jennifer:

Yeah. So, here's what I recommend in general. This is, we take a long view. Obviously, there's different perspectives on this. But when we think about the long term, rather than the immediate short term, and when we think about the fact that we're the parents and we can decide what is going to be served, we have a couple tools here. We can choose to help the child get in touch with their body and know, "What do I want to eat? What do I not want to eat? Am I full? Am I hungry?" This takes a little bit of having a sense of what's going on in your body. But when we can maintain that, long term, we give them the gift of being able to tell later, "Am I hungry? Or am I full? Can I stop or can I not stop?"

So when we're talking about allowing a child whether to eat or not, I generally recommend we let kids decide, "Am I going to take one bite? Am I going to take five bites? Am I going to take no bites?" Right? And we're because anytime we say, "You have to," we're putting external pressure on that decision to eat the veggies. "You have to try it. You have to eat five bites. You have to eat the whole thing." Whatever the rule is. They're hearing, "Ugh, I have to. She's making me." And what we see in some of the research and literature is a decreased intrinsic desire, which just means they like it less on the inside for themselves. Now, it can take a little bit longer then, for them to learn to eat veggies. Right? But then in the end they have this increased intrinsic desire to eat veggies. So it's this kind of trade off.

Andrea:

You're letting them decide, is that what you're saying?

Jennifer:

Because you're letting them decide. It's kind of like, "Okay, if it's going to go in your body, you're going to be the one that's going to decide, "Am I going to eat it or not?" And it also kind of gives them practice saying, "No, I don't want to try that." Which, you fast-forward to high school where someone says, "Do you want a cigarette?" We want them to have practiced that.

Andrea:

I completely parallel that to parenting discipline and EC pottying all that stuff, for sure. We always say, "Okay, there's no more diaper, so this is where your pee and poop has to go."

Jennifer:

Right.

Andrea:

And there sometimes there's a power struggle and we just lock ourselves in the bathroom with a kid, avert our attention, and just do something else. And then they get to decide when they just... When they want to sit on it and do it.

Jennifer:

Right.

Andrea:

But we still contain it.

Jennifer:

Yeah.

Andrea:

So it's like, "Okay, you're sitting at the table. This is the time to eat. So you've got your container."

Jennifer:

Yep.

Andrea:

And then they get to decide how many bites they take, which causes them to be internally motivated to regulate that for themselves for their whole lives, which is exactly what we do with EC. We want our kids to be say... potty training is often very, please mom, "Let's please mom."

Jennifer:

Right.

Andrea:

Let's get the M&M, Whatever.

Jennifer:

Right.

Andrea:

And I teach it, when people find me later, I teach that with no stickers, no reward. This is an internal thing. And we need to cultivate the internal desire, by letting you be as empowered as possible and independent. And here's the ropes and here's how you do it, and this is what we're doing now. And then they sync up with us, because we're the guides. We're the parent.

Jennifer:

Yeah. I mean, exactly. And I tried M&Ms with my first kid and guess what? Not only did it not work and go against my own principles, bribing with food, and I was like, "I don't know why I'm doing this." Probably because my mom did it with me.

Andrea:

Right.

Jennifer:

But also it didn't work.

Andrea:

It doesn't work every time.

Jennifer:

It did not work at all.

Andrea:

External pressure and motivation and rebellion. And then entitlement.

Jennifer:

It was so silly.

Andrea:

And its like, "No, this is pee and poop. This is an internal process."

Jennifer:

It ridiculous.

Andrea:

its like, "I'm hungry and going to eat." That's an internal process.

Jennifer:

Yeah, exactly.

Andrea:

Love how many parallels. It's great.

Jennifer:

And I would like to make one note. And this is something that is not in the literature. People get really worked up over like, should I make my child try a bite? Should I not make my child try a bite?" We have searched the literature far and wide. And there's this idea that you should, these one bite rules. There's no research that looks at these kind of one bite rules. There are cultures that have a feel of, "Hey, we all just try foods. We just try them. And that's our family culture and nobody asks anything and nobody's pressuring the kids really." It's just kind of like, "This is what we all do. We all try a bite." And then there's other where they have this, you have to try it rule. And it's just a... It's just a pressure fest and it reduces... it results in battles and it kind of decreases that intrinsic desire and all that stuff. So, I always take a kind of neutral approach to these one bite cultures. How's it going in your family? Is it working or is it not working? If it's not working, obviously it's the wrong strategy for you. If it is working, you may have created a culture where your kids can thrive while doing that.

Andrea:

And it works for you, which is the same with, it's not one size fit all. If it works for you, do it. If it doesn't work for you, we need to find a different solution. And my ex was Marine before I met him. So, he was with the Marines and very... He was a police officer before I met him. And he swore up and down he wasn't like that anymore, but I will tell you that he is. This is how he is. And he absolutely instituted a one bite culture or a finish your plate or you're going to bed culture. And I think between parents too, even if you're married, there's often a squabble about that. Like "No, no, no." Mom wants to protect and make sure that they eat. So, I'm just going to feed them something because I don't want them to starve. And the dad usually is like, "Well, no, they have to eat or they don't get anything and they're going to go to bed. I'm going to punish them." I'm generalizing.

Jennifer:

Yeah, you know what? It's so funny, because that is a stereotype, and at the same time, it is so common, which I'd love to point out is... there are strengths to that, right? Because the mom is very responsive and she is the one who says, "Hey, the kid can decide whether or not to eat. And the kid can decide how much to eat for their body." And then the dad, often, again, stereotyping, is the one who's like, "Hey, we're in charge here. We can say, 'No,' we can say, 'Hey, you can only eat mealtime.' We can say, 'We're in charge of what is served,'" right? And so that balance is often-

Andrea:

They can work together.

Jennifer:

... really, really helpful when you get parents on the same team. And we're actually working on some new stuff that's specifically aimed to speak to parents, to both mom and dads, because so much information is just created for moms. So many courses, so much stuff. I mean, if you are mom, you can find any information exactly how you want to consume it.

Andrea:

Right.

Jennifer:

If you're a dad-

Andrea:

Dads get left out.

Jennifer:

Good luck. Yeah.

Andrea:

You know what's beautiful? Is with infant potty training, often the dads feel like, "Okay, I can't breastfeed. I'm not really the one co-sleeping right next to the baby." All this stuff. And with EC, with pottying the baby, they excel. They're amazing. Because instead of changing a poopy diaper, which what dad wants to do that? He's going to take the baby to the potty and be the hero.

Jennifer:

I love it.

Andrea:

I love... a very small percentage of our audience is men. I'd say about 5%. 10, if I'm meaning generous. But it's generally moms. But what you're saying is that... and with pottying it's the same way... is that we need a team of two people who have different qualities and different skills that can both add to the picture to achieve the same result.

Jennifer:

Right.

Andrea:

And then that can be more powerful than just one person trying to do it all themselves.

Jennifer:

Absolutely.

Andrea:

Which is always hard.

Jennifer:

Yeah.

Andrea:

I'm a single mom saying that right now.

Jennifer:

Right.

Andrea:

My daughter today was like, "Who's doing the dad stuff?" And I said, "Me."

Jennifer:

Oh my gosh.

Andrea:

And she's like, "Okay." So, I'm doing the mom stuff and the dad stuff and the work stuff and everything. I'm like, "Yeah, but it's just temporary."

Jennifer:

Oh my gosh. That's a lot.

Andrea:

Well, this is good for all... We have a variety of listeners. I know we've got a lot of single moms and a lot of couples and then we've got your dads. So, whoever's listening, definitely teamwork is going to help make this happen better. Now, there was one little note Jen had made about offering foods over and over. What is that about?

Jennifer:

So, one form of pressure that we see sometimes is parents say... And I'm actually wondering, now that I'm thinking about it, are we talking about exposures here? Because that is probably what we want to talk about.

Andrea:

Yeah, I think... so, she was trying to figure out what the themes were and your.

Jennifer:

Oh, that's right.

Andrea:

Especially... and you guys have got to follow... let's do a call out to your... what's your Instagram handle right now?

Jennifer: KidsEatInColor.

Andrea:

EatInColor. KidsEatInColor.

Jennifer:

KidsEatInColor. Yep.

Andrea:

KidsEatInColor. I thought so. You just never know. So with that, you guys have to follow this account. It's amazing. The most beautiful pictures, but with things that make sense. I love the array of... it's like a rainbow of food and it's divided up by the bite sizes based on your baby's age. So you know what... and you were talking about choking and about what is a reasonable size for each age? Kind of like how I talk about how long can my baby hold it at each age?

Jennifer:

Right.

Andrea:

I want to see a big picture. What can I expect? So you guys, go over there right now to Instagram and follow her and then let's get back to... I think it was about exposure.

Jennifer:

Yeah. Exposure. For sure.

Andrea:

Yeah.

Jennifer:

So, exposure is really don't give up, don't give up. So many times, so many times we think we feed our baby. Maybe we feed our baby some chicken or chicken puree, depending on how you're weaning your baby. And they spit it out. My son, I gave him pureed kale one time. It was disgusting. And he made the most awful face, but I would've thought, "Oh, hey, he doesn't like it. Let's move on to a different food." Instead you want to have the mindset of, "They didn't try it this time. We'll try it again next time family has kale." Okay. They don't like it this time. We're going to keep trying, because even a child who's not picky is going to require maybe eight tastes. And to get eight tastes, maybe it's going to have to be on the table 20 times.

Andrea:

Right.

Jennifer:

I mean, my selective eater took three and a half years before he ate a tomato. Just, my second kid was very selective. So, I haven't won the kids feeding lottery.

Andrea:

Yeah. Do you put it on their plate? Or do you just put it family style in the middle of the table if they want to take it?

Jennifer:

That's a good question. So when they were little, I would put a little bit, but I like to recommend micro portions so that we reduce food waste. Don't put a whole pile of tomatoes on their plate. I call them wishful portions that parents have like, "Oh, this is the amount of food that I want you to eat."

Andrea:

Right.

Jennifer:

But if we want to reduce food waste and not be throwing out money and all that stuff, we give them a tiny amount of food. And if they want more, they can ask more.

Andrea:

Micro.

Jennifer:

And that's a social skill. That's a body skill. And that also is just the right way to not waste food.

Andrea:

Oh, because that drives me crazy. I'm so... I love to conserve it. I mean, I'm a gatherer, I'm a woman. I like to make sure we have everything we need and if there's waste, that's a massive alarm for me. I can't handle it.

Jennifer:

Yeah. So, we really want to focus on those tiny portions. If your child doesn't like peas, and you want them to be exposed to it in a more close way, put one pea on their plate.

Andrea:

I love it.

Jennifer:

That's fine.

Andrea:

And try it over and over and over again. Some of my kids, my three year old loves salad. It's the weirdest thing. She loves spinach. And I'm like, "Okay."

Jennifer:

I love it.

Andrea:

Because I would let her sit in my lap and pick food off my plate. I wonder if that's a no-no? Is that okay?

Jennifer:

Oh no that's awesome. You know what? So many kids try foods that way. But I think about your four year old. He might find it stressful to have that pea on his plate. But if you give him a toothpick or something to interact with it, he can become more familiar with it. Maybe he'll push it. Maybe he'll push it with his fingers. And you can play little games at the table, not disruptive, but like, "Let's count our peas together."

Andrea:

Right.

Jennifer:

I mean, that's a skill. You can also do little math problems with peas. You can balance them on your fork. There's all these things that you can do to help a more extreme picky eater, like your four year old... I don't want to use the word extreme, but more seriously picky.

Andrea:

Yeah.

Jennifer:

Anything that we can do to help them interact with the food in the context of exposure and continued exposure. And I'm not making you a special hot dog. The hot dog is on the table with the chili and the peas and the cornbread and whatever it is. The more we can do this sort of, "Hey, we're living the veggie exposure lifestyle and we're encouraging the kids to interact with those foods in a more tactile way," or smelling or, touching. That's what's going to help him get familiar and realize, "Oh yeah, not all peas feel the same, but now I have a wider understanding of how peas might feel in my hand." And then maybe I have a wider variety of how they might smell, and then eventually how they might feel in my mouth.

Andrea:

I love it.

Jennifer:

And so we give kids this wider perspective.

Andrea:

Right, as an exposure technique. So, I know I keep saying this, I'm not making this up. But we do the same thing with the potty. Even if somebody can't do EC and they're really busy, like you're saying you had your kids in daycare full-time. I would recommend that person, from birth, if they can, just offer the potty every morning when that child wakes up. Then when potty training happens, it's not sprung on them like, "Oh, here's this new thing and you have to do it." Instead, it's a slow, gradual exposure technique. "This is what it's like to sit on the potty," every day at the same time.

Jennifer:

I love it.

Andrea:

Eventually, they're curious and they'll release and let it go and start to sync up with that. But it's offered and consistently. I love it. And then, so yeah, we've talked about taking the power struggles out of food, helping the child eat better over time, and developing healthier relationship with food. We've talked a lot about that. And you're an advocate for real whole foods. And I've seen that in your photos. Beautiful photography. You guys, I'm not kidding. I'm a very visual person. So I'm just in love with your account. The relationship with food. So healthy relationship with food as in, we are not creating bulimics and anorexics and people who eat when they're sad. I feel like every time my three year old would cry, my husband or my oldest would give her some food.

Jennifer:

Right.

Andrea:

I'm like, "No, that's going to create an emotional eater. This is not the answer." Give her a teddy bear instead."

Jennifer:

Right. I always try to balance the fact that we're real people in a real world, with some practices that have been shown to be helpful over time, that are called these best practices. But these best practices never really understand our reality. And so, there's this, what I like to call my best. It's not like, "Oh, I'm doing my best," but no, "What's my best? What does my best look like?" And we can kind of say, "Okay, we hear this ideal of real, whole food." But for example, right now my husband has two jobs and I have... this is a really busy time for me. And our kids are in school, but then they're ending early, and things are very busy. We are definitely processed foods and that's actually best for our family right now.

And that is... and so, I always like to present the context of how do we think about food? Are we thinking of it in terms of, this is good food and bad food? Or processed food and whole food? Or this food is good for you and bad for you? Instead of having this dichotomy of good/bad, instead, we can really look at the rainbow of experiences here. We can say, "Hey, there's times when I just want to eat all this fresh stuff and I want to make it from scratch and I want to live this life." And then there's other times where you know what? The processed food and the frozen pizza, that's actually good for me right now." And we can find when we give ourselves that option of having... When we give ourselves options, suddenly we have a greater depth of empathy and we also have a greater reserve to give ourselves compassion and space to do best for us during tough times.

Additionally, we can give that to other people, because I feel like in the mom world there's a lot of pressure and there's a lot of judgment and there's, "Oh, how did you potty train your baby? And how did you?" And right now the thing is weaning. "Oh, how did you wean your baby? You did baby-led weaning? You did purees?"" Oh my gosh. And people are like, oh my gosh, it's like, "Oh, breastfeeding and formula?" You name it. It is crazy. And instead, if we could say, "Look, there's a whole rainbow of options there." And when we give ourselves set rainbow of options, we're not developing disordered eating and this moral attachment with food. I just took somebody out for lunch today and we had pizza and that's the end of the story. We had pizza. I came back to work. And tonight, I read a feed, my family whatever I think of for dinner. But we don't have to create these stories that go beyond that. Or we often talk about...

Andrea:

Yeah.

Jennifer:

How do we talk about foods with kids? How do we teach them what's nutritious? Well, we have this great vocabulary for foods. And it's just like, what is the name of the food? "This is broccoli. This is a cookie." And the way that we teach kids and we prevent this sort of disordered perspective around food, is to be in charge of what's served in our house. Say, "These are our food values. This is what our family eats. This is how I want you to learn to eat over time." And that will have a lot more impact than saying, "Oh, this is good for you. And this is bad for you. And this is healthy and this is unhealthy."

Andrea:

I love it. I love it so much. And I also have... My kids have always cooked. And it makes it harder for me, it takes longer for them to help me cook. But when they do that, then everybody in the family says, "Thank you so much Branson for cooking the dinner tonight with Mommy." And then he feels proud. And then he is actually more likely to eat it because he's got ownership over it.

Jennifer:

So true.

Andrea:

And then I know that my biggest thing was I didn't learn how to cook until my first child came along 11 years ago. A woman came over, showed me how to latch my baby onto my breast, pulled his chin right down, I about screamed. And it was like, she came in and cleaned up house. And she said, "Here's how to make a chicken stock. And then here's how to make chicken and dumplings." And I was like, "Whoa."

Jennifer: Wow.

Andrea:

I just had a massive gift here from this really experienced mom of five of all the things. And it was all around feeding. It was nursing, it was cooking, and everything. That was my first chicken stock and my first roasted chicken, even. And she's like, "I want you to watch me do this and then teach you how to cook." I feel like another gift I can give my children and anybody listening, a lot of us are a lot alike, is how do you cook for yourself? How do you prepare meals for yourself from an early age, so that you can intimately get to know what goes into cooking and how much effort is put into it? And what are the ingredients? And how do we make things taste better through spices and sugars and salts and other things?

I think it's this whole beautiful world that my mom, she was doing her best, but she did not feed us very well. So, I try to find a balance between that and then we eat out a lot more now that I'm divorced. We use paper plates since the pandemic. I'm just like, I literally... this is my coping mechanism right now.

Jennifer:

Right.

Andrea:

And when we eat out, we go to a really nice restaurant that has really good farm to table food and they love it. I try really hard to make a balance of it, but I just want anybody listening, just have grace for yourself.

Jennifer:

Yeah.

Andrea:

What can you do? And then even if you're making something simple, how can you involve your kid? I don't know if you advocate that too, but I think cooking with our children is super fun and a good learning experience about what is a whole food? What does real food look like? What does it taste like?

Jennifer:

I do. I do advocate for that, if you have the capacity.

Andrea:

Capacity.

Yes.

Jennifer:

So, as someone who, I had the two kids, I had the job, my husband was in grad school full-time. I also had postpartum depression.

Andrea:

Oh, me too.

Jennifer:

I could not... I could not have my... I did have my kids in the kitchen. They were messing around. They'd be tearing stuff and making a mess and all those things.

Andrea:

Right.

Jennifer:

But in terms of baking with the kids, oh my gosh. I just could not handle that executive load of managing the kids. So I always like to give parents permission, like yes, getting your kids in the kitchen cooking with you is such a high bang for your buck activity. I do it probably 75% less than I thought I would-

Andrea:

Yeah.

Jennifer:

... before I had kids, because I'm totally overwhelmed right now. We have a lot going on. We are developing really cool, amazing things. And when I get home, I'm like, "Oh my gosh." And one of my kids has lost all interest in being in the kitchen. So, he just doesn't even want to be there doing things unless it involves a very sharp knife. Then he's there. He's 100% focused. He's there for the danger.

Andrea:

I have to agree. So, I had postpartum depression for two kids, undiagnosed. So, I totally... That was not my season for cooking with my children at all. And then the next couple of kids were really interested. And their interest wanes and then it reinvigorates.

Jennifer:

Yeah.

Andrea:

And then when they're interested and Branson's like, "I am cooking breakfast, Mom." And then him and Twyla are up there standing together on their different stools and they're both doing some part of the process, it is a huge amount of executive load. I know what you mean.

Jennifer:

Yeah.

Andrea:

And it's like, "Okay, I know that this is only going to happen once or twice a week. I can handle this." But I get you. It's so hard. It's so hard. If all five of them wanted to cook every day, every meal, I would not... I would just leave the kitchen and just let them do it, because that

Jennifer:

Yeah. For sure. "Let me know if it something catches on fire."

Andrea:

Right? Yeah. And we've been over that. I smell propane and we all know what that smells like now.

Jennifer:

Oh, yeah. We've... I mean, yeah, that's the thing. If you're going to have your kids in the kitchen, teach them about fire, teach them about the fire extinguisher-

Andrea:

Age appropriate jobs.

Jennifer:

... give them the safety skills that they need.

Andrea:

Oh man, I have these vinyl knives, so the little kids can and cut carrots and potatoes and other things. And I love having everybody chopping up stuff for soup, because they don't want to eat soup unless they're also chopping it. So, there are a lot of things there, but I agree with what you're saying. So, we don't want to overload any of you listening, but definitely, if it's an option and you might enjoy it or the kid insists, the kid is insisting-

Jennifer:

Or... yeah. You can give them... Here's what I found. If you can give them a tool that is just a little bit more than they are capable of, but still safe enough, so you can be cooking, but have the kid there trying to figure out how to use something, that can keep them busy while you're cooking.

Andrea:

They're occupied.

Jennifer:

Which can also be a huge thing. And my kids learned how to use a peeler by the time they were two, because I let them use it. Now, at first, you're there, you're showing them always away from your body, right? Very close supervision. But then, soon enough they could do it safely all by themselves. And that sort of danger and developmental skill that can keep them engaged in the learning and kitchen process and keeps them busy while you're cooking.

Andrea:

Out of your hair. We like that. I'm always like, "Let's do as much stuff as possible to get our kids to play independently, to do things independently, to potty independently," all of that. Because it takes the pressure off of us having to be their primary everything.

Jennifer:

Yes, completely agree.

Andrea:

I have so many kids. Like, "Here, you have friends now. Play with them."

Jennifer:

Right.

Andrea:

"I'm not your playmate. They are."

Jennifer:

Right. "Come to me when you need a snuggle."

Andrea:

Right. Right. I'll be the love giver and I will provide your food.

Jennifer:

Right.

Andrea:

Absolutely. Okay, so tell me about your picky eater courses, your meal plans, all the things. Your online community. You guys, Jennifer is a huge resource for so many things. And I also want to know why color? Why are we eating in color?

Jennifer:

Yeah.

Andrea:

So, two questions in one.

Jennifer:

You know what? Different colors do different things in your body. If we could teach that to kids, we give them the gift of health, the gift of nutrition knowledge with this basic idea. Red foods can help your heart. Orange foods can help you see in the dark. These little age appropriate messages that can interest them in the idea that, "Hey, all these different colors, they all help me be me." And I just love that idea. And the more that we can help our kids get a variety of foods, the better. The better for everybody.

Andrea:

Awesome. I was just wondering, what is the color thing? Okay, now I get it.

Jennifer:

Yeah.

Andrea:

I mean, your photography's beautiful. Is that it? But no, it's more of-

Jennifer: Yeah. No, it's more than that. It's the idea that every color is literally based on a different chemical composition. That's where those colors come from and they do things in our body. So whether it's brown, or white, or dark purple, all those things are different. And the more variety we get, the better,

Andrea:

I love that. I love that so much.

Jennifer:

Yeah.

Andrea:

Right. Now let's talk about the courses and the online community meal plans, all that stuff.

Jennifer:

Yeah. So, if you have a picky eater and you're thinking, "Ah, this is complicated. And I don't know where this is going," we do have a course specifically for picky eaters and even extreme picky eaters, the whole gamut from, "Hey, I will only eat hot dogs, or I'll only eat five foods," to less extreme forms of that. That's called Better Bites. And that's a course. And then we also have a couple meal plans for families and a couple recipe books. So if you're thinking, "Man, I am totally overwhelmed with feeding my family," which is where I was two years ago, because I was trying to quit my day job to do this full-time, and my husband was finished his PhD and he had two jobs, and the kids, and all that stuff. And I thought, "I can't think about meal planning at all."

And so I made this thing that ended up being called Real Easy Weekdays, and it's really designed to help take some of the brain work out of feeding your family. And so, if you're really finding yourself in a position where you're like, "I just need some help to figure out how to feed my family with a little less brain work." That's that. And then also if you're really on a tight budget, we have an amazing resource for families that's called Affordable Flavors, helping you feed your family three meals, two snacks a day, on a budget of $500 or less for a family of four.

Andrea:

Wow.

Jennifer:

And that, if you need that, that's available free if you need it. It's also choose your own price. So, I just always like to mention that, because sometimes we want to feed our families variety and we want to get through the month, but the budget just makes it really, really tricky.

Andrea:

Oh, my budget is out of this world. Well, it's gotten better since now I'm the only person in charge of it, but yeah, it got a little out of hand for a while there. Okay, so these are awesome. Affordable Flavors is the free one, or pay what you can. Better Bites course for picky eaters on all different levels of pickiness, and then Easy Weekdays, was it? For meal planning?

Jennifer:

Real Easy Weekdays. Yeah.

Andrea:

Real Easy Weekdays.

Jennifer:

And then we have a snack guide, and we have all sorts of recipe resources. We also have cool things coming in the new year. So I can't-

Andrea:

You can't tell us. It's a secret.

Jennifer:

... describe them all the way, but it is coming by the time you hear for this.

Andrea:

We should look for it. We should follow you. We should do all the things.

Jennifer:

Yeah, you should look for exciting things coming, specifically around helping parents be on the same page together. And having fun learning, and kind of taking some of these issues where we have these food battles and we want to get on the same page to help end these food battles in a way that actually works. And so, we have new things coming.

Andrea:

So, we'll look for that. We'll look for that in 2022. And then where can they find all of these courses and stuff? You have a website?

Jennifer:

Kidseatincolor.com. That's the one.

Andrea:

Kidseatincolor.com.

Jennifer:

Yep.

Andrea:

All the things are there. I can't wait. I'm also going to come and check it and definitely check out that course, because yeah, I'm pretty good at the meal planning thing. I've got it down. Well, I think I am, but I don't feel like I really have mastered that.

Jennifer:

I think you're doing okay.

Andrea:

I'm doing okay. What we're doing works for us. I have a list of 30 meals that we love. And I write it out on a calendar every month, I just plop things in. I put than two eat outs a week. I incorporate when we have an event or something. I think I'm doing all right. It's pretty good.

Jennifer:

That sounds great.

Andrea:

I feel like I'm a constant learner. My mom was not a good model for all these things. I don't think a lot of ours were. She grew up in the Velveeta age. So, and she would always burn the chicken. So, I mean, I think I have a lot to learn. So, I'm going to come follow you on all those things. And then you've got Facebook as well, right? Instagram and Facebook?

Jennifer:

Pinterest and TikTok.

Andrea:

And TikTok?

Jennifer:

Wherever you go, wherever you like to be.

Andrea:

You're everywhere.

Jennifer:

We're everywhere.

Andrea:

Great, I'm so glad.

Jennifer:

Me and the team.

Andrea:

Yay. Well, Jennifer, thank you so much for being on this show. I think everybody will... I mean, we're all applauding you in the background. You just solved so many things for me personally, and I think a lot of our listeners, as well. And for as long... this will be up forever. So, people are going to have a resource in you. So, thank you.

Jennifer:

Well, thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it.

Again, you can check out the show notes for today's show over at godiaperfree.com/175. Leave a comment, let us know what the biggest takeaway is you had from today. Anything you're going to implement in your own home. We can't wait to hear from you there. Comments, questions, whatever, leave them over there at the show notes on our blog, and we'll see you next time.

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The post Picky Eaters 101 (+ Helping Your Little Kids Eat Healthy!): An interview with Jennifer of Kids Eat in Color appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

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What are pottytunities and when can you use them in your EC or potty training journey? Hear about the practice EC parents rave about as “EC magic”, including four easy options to try today – and even what to do when a pottytunity doesn't “work.”

You will hear: * how pottytunities work in both EC and PT * what to do if baby doesn't “go” when offered the potty * the power of consistency * what to do when baby's signals are non-existent (or you're too busy to notice) * four easy catches and why they are pottytunity magic!

Links and other resources mentioned today: * Easy Catch #1 * Easy Catch #2 * Easy Catch #3 * Easy Catch #4 * The Easy Start Guide for EC * The Go Diaper Free Book

Download the Transcript If you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: The Purpose of a Pottytunity: Why we offer the potty when it might not yield a catch!

Read the full written transcript Expand

So today we're going to talk about pottytunities. This is episode 174. You can check out the show notes at godiaperfreee.com/174.

Hey there, welcome to the Go Diaper Free podcast. I'm Andrea Olson, your host, author, and mom of five babies, all EC from birth, all out of diapers by walking.

Okay, so today I want to talk about potty-tunities. What is a pottytunity? Now this can apply to those of you who are potty training or doing Elimination Communication, or EC, which is infant potty training from birth. So a potty-tunity is simply an opportunity to use the potty. It is an offering. It is optional... The parent decides, I think that it's time, based on your signals or your pee-pee dance, based on how often you usually go to the bathroom, based on our lifestyle, we're about to go somewhere and it'd be really good, if everybody could try to go pee before we go, or like right before bed, something like that. The parent is the person who decides when there's a pottytunity and this could be that the baby has signaled and told you, "Hey, I need to go."

With some babies, that's a little bit more rare than mostly the parent initiating in earlier years. And as well as with potty training, the parent is going to initiate in the first couple phases of potty training, if you follow me on my book, and then the child starts to initiate. There is this gradual you're working as a team and then you're not. So the parent is doing everything, you're working as a team, and then the child is doing everything. That's the goal.

So a Pottytunity, why do we offer them? We offer them because we think our child needs to go to the bathroom, and we think it's a good time to go. What if your child does not go? It shouldn't matter. For me, I believe, and let's talk about babies for a second, zero to 18 months, because that's the majority of you guys. 0 to 18 months, we offer a potty-tunity at predictable times. We are consistent with that.

So how many of you guys are doing EC part-time? Probably about 50% of you, that's usually what it comes down to. You're doing EC part-time. You're not doing it all the time. Maybe you have a daycare, maybe you have a mother-in-law who watches them and doesn't potty them. That's fine. So when you offer a pottytunity, it's going to be during those times when you're choosing to do EC, pretty simple. So say it's every wake up and every poop, and maybe we're also doing the diaper changes. So every time you open that diaper up on the changing table, you're going to have your mini potty there, and you're going to offer the potty at every diaper change. Does your baby have to go? No, this is the beauty of EC. The way I teach it is that your baby gets to decide whether they need to or want to release and go when you offer.

That is a really healthy habit, that's going to serve your baby throughout his or her whole life, knowing themselves. So I know myself, I know when I need to go or not. I am the only one who knows when I need to pee or poop. My parents might have a good guess, but I am the one. I am the king or queen of my castle. And I hold the keys as to whether I open the sphincter or not. So when we offer the pottytunity at the diaper change, they have the right of first refusal. They can go or they cannot go. It's pretty simple. And in the morning, a lot of people will offer the morning pottytunity because I have told them that the antidiuretic hormone, or ADH, wears off in all mammals, including babies. It wears off every time we wake up, even if it's the middle of the night, and our sleep cycle is broken, whether you're grown up responding to a newborn in the middle of the night, or you're a newborn just waking up in between sleep cycles, like you're designed to do so you can nurse.

No matter who you are, that hormone wears off, the bladder fills, and usually the baby's dry and needs to go to the bathroom, and hopefully you're dry and you need to go to the bathroom. So that's a pottytunity, any wake up is a pottytunity. It's an opportunity for us to offer the potty in hopes that we might catch something, and in hopes that we can make our baby more comfortable, less fussy, and more in line with his or her innate desire for hygiene.

All mammals are born wanting to be clean and dry, otherwise all mammals would have died out from disease a long time ago. So this is the way that we were designed. So we do the wake up pottytunity and they never pee, and they always have a full diaper. You might feel like giving up, but don't give up. Want you to know that your consistency and predictability will pay off, it just might take 15 months, which is fine. It might take four weeks, which is fine. It will take how long it takes. You might immediately start catching pees and your baby waits in the morning for you, and then that's an easy pottytunity.

Awesome. So again, an opportunity to potty is a pottytunity. They don't have to go, it's just a chance to go. And we really want to offer them consistently. I love the four easy catches, you guys. If you can't figure out signals. You don't know how often your baby goes. Just drop all that for now, you can get back to that later. And for now, just do the wake ups. When you know they're pooping or about to poop, and you see them start to bear down, just say, "Wait," take them to the potty. We're going to do every diaper change. And then when they're in the high chair or the car seat, we really want them to be comfortable, or in the baby carrier, you're wearing them on a walk. You want them to be comfortable while you're shopping.

So you're going to offer a pottytunity before and after putting the baby into something or taking them out of something, like the bathtub. We definitely don't want, what we call in our family, poop eggs in the bath, because poop eggs are no fun to be in the bath with, especially if you have four children in the bathtub together, like I often do. So we want to offer before and after that's the fourth easy catch. It's just a matter of which of these four am I going to do? When are my potty-tunities going to be every day? Is there only going to be one? That's cool? Are there going to be five? Okay.

You get to choose and design the when, and then they get to decide, in their bodies, okay, do I need to go or not? And if you really know that they really need to go to the bathroom and they don't go when you offer, carry them around naked bottomed for a little while and offer again. Because nine times out of 10, their timing, their natural rhythm, has totally expanded, because they're growing. And as your baby grows, their bladder gets bigger and stronger. It's really, mostly, it just gets bigger, and their attention span becomes longer and longer. A 4 month old, or a 12 month old, zero attention span. You've got a 2 year old or a 3 year old, longer attention span. All of these things just evolve as your baby grows out. It changes so quickly. And once you master something, it's going to change tomorrow anyway, so just do the best you can today. Pick your pottytunities and enjoy them.

Whatever you do catch, we can celebrate that and be like, awesome teamwork, great, great job. We did it. I never say good girl or good boy. I will say great job or awesome, yay, or man, it isn't great, or whatever you want to say to your child, high five, or say nothing at all. It's all good. So this was all about pottytunities. I'm going to stop it right there. I hope that you've learned something today. Just remember that your consistency matters more than whether you catch something during a pottytunity. Eventually all babies sync up with your caregiver, if the caregiver is consistent and offers us as repetition. So I really hope that this has helped you.

And I think I do want to share this one comment from somebody who is tuned in right now. We had a great pottytunity this morning. My 16 month old peed in the potty, wiped up his front, and then went back and sat on the potty and pooped. It was great.

So pottytunities, when they do yield a catch, are super awesome. Who is with me on that one? All right, so that's all I have to say about pottytunities. Go forth and choose your one pottytunity you're going to do today or tomorrow within the next 24 hours. And if you catch your very first catch, I really want to hear about it.

Thank you guys so much. I'm Andrea Olson with Go Diaper Free, and I'll see you next time.

Again, you can check out the show notes, and the full transcript, and links to everything I mentioned in today's show over at godiaperfree.com/174. Thank you so much for tuning in.

Watch the Video Version (new!) If you want to watch me record today’s podcast episode, you can do that on my youtube version right here:

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Which pottytunity are you going to try today? Please leave a comment below with your thoughts I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

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The post The Purpose of a Pottytunity: Why we offer the potty when it might not yield a catch! appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

View Details

When a friend told new-mom Shayla she should check out EC, Shayla said, “what on earth is that?” Hear Shayla’s EC journey (including the surprise pregnancy that started it all), her best EC hacks, plus loads of fun as Shayla and Andrea chat all things motherhood - ovulation cycles, childbirth, potty training - and of course, EC!

You will hear: * Shayla's surprise entry into motherhood * how shayla heard about EC (and met Andrea!) * Shayla's EC hack for starting with a mobile baby * how EC impacted Shayla's parenting * what one thing has made a huge difference * shayla's best piece of advice

Links and other resources mentioned today: * Hey Shayla * Shayla’s Instagram * The Easy Start Guide for EC * The Go Diaper Free Book * Tiny Trainers * Top Hat and Mini Potties * My Days app

Download the Transcript If you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: How Shayla did EC with her baby: An interview with Hey Shayla!

Read the full written transcript Expand

This is Episode 173, and today I am interviewing somebody awesome. Hey, Shayla. You can check out the show notes for today's episode, including the full written transcript, over at godiaperfree.com/173, where I'd also love for you to come by and make a comment, ask a question, whatever you want, when we're finished with this interview. Please enjoy.

Andrea Olson:

Hey you guys. So today I'm interviewing somebody again, totally out of form, but I am so excited about our guest today. Her name is Shayla Christine. You can find her at Hey Shayla, everywhere. I was doing some homework for my YouTube channel because I'm a good student and I'm trying to make it past 13,000 subscribers. It's just ridiculous that I don't know what I'm doing on YouTube. So I was like, "Cool, what's everybody else doing on YouTube?" And I came across Shayla and I realized ... So, she did an episode on EC and I was like, "Oh cool. This woman does EC." And then I watched it and she talked about my book.

Shayla Christine:

Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

And I was like, "Oh my gosh, I have to have you on the podcast." So welcome Shayla. Thank you for joining us today.

Shayla Christine:

Yeah, of course, and I told you this earlier, but I was stoked that you reached out to me. I was like, The Andrea, the EC legend wants to interview me on my EC process? This is so exciting.

Andrea Olson:

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. We're both like, "Ooh, I got fan girl stuff."

Shayla Christine:

Yeah. Fact.

Andrea Olson:

And we were talking about how we moms need other human beings desperately. So it's so cool to be able to be on together and Shayla is starting up, or has started a podcast.

Shayla Christine:

Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

Yeah. Is it also, Hey Shayla?

Shayla Christine:

Yeah, Hey Shayla. I would like to keep it very simple.

Andrea Olson:

I love it. You're so predictable. I love it, although, I know you're not predictable.

Shayla Christine:

Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

That's what I love about your channel. So, you guys, definitely drop everything and go on to YouTube after this podcast and check out Shayla because she has really ... I just find you really funny. And I like the way that you talk about mom stuff. And I also love the surprise of being pregnant that you shared with your partner. Like when you got pregnant, can you just share with our audience who hasn't seen that, how you told him that you were.

Shayla Christine:

okay. So I just announced my second pregnancy. So are we talking about probably the-

Andrea Olson:

The first one.

Shayla Christine:

In a booth?

Andrea Olson:

Let’s the first one and then let's do the second one.

Shayla Christine:

Yeah. So I found out because I was doing the natural method and my mom was like, "That's a good way to get pregnant." I was like, "No, no mom, I've got this figured out." Well, I didn't.

Andrea Olson:

I got pregnant two times by the natural method.

Shayla Christine:

Yeah, she was right, it is a good way to get pregnant. Yeah. So, that happened and we went to a cafe and I was like, "I'm just going to pretend like I'm having him watch this video for me quickly," because he used to proof my videos and be like, "This part's boring, this part's great," whatever. So I'm having him do it and it's like, "So, I'm on the natural method and now I'm pregnant. What do you think Seth?" And he just ... His face drops and he is mortified and then he absorbs it and then he is excited and it ... I mean anyone who gets that news ... Me, when I get that news, it's like, oh ..." Do we ... Can we say the S-H-I-T word?

Andrea Olson:

I mean, we could ... Well, now all the toddlers listening are going to spell it, I think so, Shayla.

Shayla Christine:

Oh, okay. Well-

Andrea Olson:

I probably have cursed on the podcast.

Shayla Christine:

I kind of felt like that was, yeah.

Andrea Olson:

I just ... That's who I am.

Shayla Christine:

But that's how you feel when you first enter you're pregnant. You're like ... Well, some people. Some people are like crying, ecstatically. Some people are like, "Oh, here we are." That was me. So unfortunately for him, I got it on film. And he was just like, "Oh my gosh. And I was like, yeah, here we go," ha ha ha.

Andrea Olson:

"Oh, surprise." I love-

Shayla Christine:

Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

You guys, she showed him a video of her telling him that she's pregnant, pretending like it was just a YouTube video she was putting up and filmed it and they're at a cafe or something, which is like public. I love it.

Shayla Christine:

Yeah. He was pretty shocked.

Andrea Olson:

... definitely have to check it out. I love-

Shayla Christine:

But that video got so much flack. People were like, "She trapped him. He's not excited. He's so ..." And he is like, why are people saying that? I feel like I'm really excited." And I was like, "Yeah, it's because I caught you." Like, most people when they find out, and they're not expecting it ... Because I had ... I was on top of it, I was doing the natural method. I knew we weren't going to get pregnant. So, yeah.

Andrea Olson:

Did you just learn your lesson? Oh, so wait, then you got pregnant again. Was that one also a surprise?

Shayla Christine:

No, that was very intentional because I was breastfeeding, so ... Not aggressively ... exclusively, that I had to like night wean to get my period back at 13 months, and then was like, "Okay, let's start trying." And that was ... I mean, I overshare all the time, but I ovulated on day 30. So I was like waiting for the next period. I was like, "Okay, I haven't got it yet." And then I was all of a sudden on day 47, I took another pregnancy test and I was like, "Okay, now I get to surprise him again."

Andrea Olson:

so fertile.

Shayla Christine:

... because ... Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

You're like, "I'm so fertile, I ..." Now, next time, you know that it'll be very easy as well.

Shayla Christine:

Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

And I think it happens sooner each time. Even while I was breastfeeding, like with my fifth one, I was having my ex-husband, now ... I was like, "Okay, you have to get a vasectomy because I literally cannot handle any more people saying my name."

Shayla Christine:

Yeah. I don't want a chorus.

Andrea Olson:

Yeah. It's like, this is a lot of ... a huge chorus. So, I told him, "You got to get a ..." He's like, "Okay, I'll get a vasectomy." He delayed and then procrastinated, and finally scheduled it. He got it, six months postpartum with Twyla. And I was still exclusively breastfeeding day and night. And then the seventh month comes around and I had my period again for the first time.

Shayla Christine:

Weird.

Andrea Olson:

Barely missed. Yeah, and so, a long time ago when I had first ... And this is important for everybody listening. Please know that this lesson is very important. I met this woman who was in her 60s at a festival when my first was born and he was a month old. I was like, "Yeah, I'm breastfeeding, so I'm not going to conceive again. You know, it's supposed to be bulletproof." And she goes, "Oh no, I had all five of my children. I conceived at five weeks postpartum. I was breastfeeding day and night. That is not true." Everybody listening, do you hear me? You can get pregnant even if you are breastfeeding day and night.

Shayla Christine:

But, I don't know what's more shocking there, that you can get pregnant breastfeeding day or night, or that she got pregnant at five weeks postpartum.

Andrea Olson:

Every time for five in a row. That's like massive.

Shayla Christine:

That's like five Irish twins.

Andrea Olson:

Irish quintuplets.

Shayla Christine:

Oh my gosh, you're right.

Andrea Olson:

Let’s have a drink of water.

Shayla Christine:

Yeah, right?

Andrea Olson:

Okay. Now, you guys all tuned in to listen about EC and we've talked about some other things that I think are very helpful for you or we wouldn't have shared them.

Shayla Christine:

Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

Okay. It's meant to be. Now, I love this. And so you told daddy about it for number two, how did you do this one?

Shayla Christine:

I pretended like I was doing a TikTok and I was like, "Okay, I'm going to do a dance and you're going to copy me." So, I did like shimmy, shimmy, shimmy, go. But he was late from work that day. So, he got home late and I was like, "Can you do this TikTok with me?" And he was like, "Are you kidding me?" And I was like, "I know, I wouldn't ask if I really didn't need your help." And he is like, "Can't you do it by yourself?" But he got it together, and if you watch this video, he shimmies like he means it. And he is just ... He was a trooper. So then I did like the 70s movie where you put your hand down by your hip and then up in the air. And I grabbed the pregnancy test out of my pocket and handed it to him and he didn't see it at first, but then he saw and he was like, "Wait, what ... I thought ..." And I was like, "I know, I don't know. Yeah." And he was like ... He was just so excited. So yeah.

Andrea Olson:

Oh…Yay!

Shayla Christine:

Yeah. I was glad that I got to surprise him.

Andrea Olson:

Oh my gosh, that's ... Those are so creative. I can't wait to see what else pops up on your channel. So tell me though first, so obviously your channel wasn't about parenting when you started it, it was about travel blogging, right?

Shayla Christine:

Yeah. Yeah. I started traveling full-time in 2015 and was just ... My friends were like, "You should start a blog and talk about where you are so we can keep track of you." And I was like, "I don't like writing so, no." And they were like, "Oh, well video? And I was like, "I guess I could try video." And I just started ... I just committed to doing it once a week. And mostly it was just to nobody in the beginning, like I'm just posting and like, my grandma's like, "That's really cool what you did this week." And I'm like, "Thanks, Grandma." And then like, I had to learn all the YouTube things. And then when I became pregnant, it was like COVID and pregnancy and all the things. And I was like, "I'm not traveling anytime in the near future. And I'm, moming pretty much full-time, so I'm just going to hard switch to moming," and just did it and jumped ... And like, everyone's trying to get pregnant, getting pregnant during COVID right now. So my audience is just like, "Okay. Yeah, cool. I just had a baby too." Or, like, new people would come ...

Andrea Olson:

oh babies.

Shayla Christine:

It was like the perfect time to switch to mom content.

Andrea Olson:

Nice. Oh, I love it so much. So you and I have a lot of similar mom parenting habits and styles. Like, what are the things you do? You exclusively breastfeed. What else? What other hippy things?

Shayla Christine:

Floor bed.

Andrea Olson:

Floor bed. Cool.

Shayla Christine:

Yep. The EC, the cloth diapering, you know, all the weird-

Andrea Olson:

Babywearing.

Shayla Christine:

Yep. She didn't like it a lot, but the second one better like it, because I think that's the only way you survive when you have more than one is just to wear them constantly.

Andrea Olson:

Wait, you're pregnant right now, right?

Shayla Christine:

Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

How far along?

Shayla Christine:

Halfway, 21 weeks.

Andrea Olson:

Halfway, that's so awesome.

Shayla Christine:

I know.

Andrea Olson:

Okay. Be sure to let me send you some stuff. Okay? Because Tiny Undies, as you guys all know, we have all the things

Shayla Christine:

I just stocked up on the tiny trainers and she loves them. She's like undies, undies, but she pooped in them the other day. And that's not my favorite thing.

Andrea Olson:

That's not easy to clean up.

Shayla Christine:

No, but she ... That's like the only one I've had in the past month-

Andrea Olson:

Shayla Christine:

... in anything, in diapers, in nothing. Yeah, so I'll take it.

Andrea Olson:

Hallelujah. Okay. So let's cover this now. So, how did you hear about EC?

Shayla Christine:

When I think one of my followers was just like, "Oh, you're good at cloth diaper. You should EC." And I was like, "What the heck is EC?" And so I looked it up and then I found you and I was like, "Okay." And I got the book and I got the potty and I got ... What else did I get? I don't remember. I used like a ... Should I just go into it, how I-

Andrea Olson:

Yeah-

Shayla Christine:

... all started

Andrea Olson:

... go for it. Yeah.

Shayla Christine:

Okay. So I'm reading the book and it's like, look for cues. And I was like, "Cues, what are you talking about?" But also when she was a newborn, I would watch her, just like her nose would start to turn red and she would kind of like bear down and then she would empty herself in her diaper. And I was like, "Well, that's kind of a cue, I guess." But it's so overwhelming when you first bring this baby home. So I was like, "I can't ..." I didn't start cloth diapering for a while. I didn't start EC until four months, during the four month sleep regression. So I was like, "Forget it, we're stopping this. I can't do this right now."

Shayla Christine:

And then I restarted at six months and it was actually Seth, and I think he just didn't want to deal with poopy diapers because he's like, "Let's try that again." And I was like, "Okay, cool." So I got a waterproof crib sheet and I put that on the floor and just would like watch her. But she was already mobile. So I'm trying to keep her on this crib sheet and she's running around with no diaper on and I'm like, "How do people do this? What did you mean to look for cues?" Like, oh, they might be like, not moving and then they squirm or they might squirm and then they stop moving. I was like, I can't do it. So I didn't look for cues anymore.

Andrea Olson:

Good.

Shayla Christine:

I was like-

Andrea Olson:

... six months, you guys, like that's really actually wise, good

Shayla Christine:

Okay, good.

Andrea Olson:

Yeah.

Shayla Christine:

But I didn't want to quit. I was like, "I can't do this, but I'll try these like transitions." I'm saying it like quoting. This is crazy, this is your information. So, then it's like, "Try these transitions of like when you come out of the car or after a walk or after a nap or after you feed them or any transition time," boom. That was it. Like I was catching them like crazy. I was like, "Okay, breastfeeding," when I would breastfeed her, that's when she would go. I'm like, "What is ..." I've got the potty as I'm breastfeeding her, sitting on the floor and I'm like, "Hey, we did it. We caught one," and it's-

Andrea Olson:

Yay,

Shayla Christine:

Yeah, it was ... So, the transitions were super helpful. And I just wasn't ... I wasn't trying to potty train, which is kind of what you say. You're just like, you're the one who's getting trained. You're trying to figure when this baby needs to go potty to help them out, so they don't have to sit in a wet diaper, poopy diaper. So it was very low stress for us. So when we missed one, I was like, "No big deal. We'll change the diaper. And since it's cloth, anyway, we'll just throw in the wash. No big deal." And when we caught him, it was like a celebration and yeah, I don't know. That's kind of how it started. So, we started ... Yeah, so there was kind of a couple bumps in the road, but we were like, "Okay, we're just going to keep trying and seeing what we find," and then we'd find something. And then again, you say this, like, "They'll go on strike." And they're like, "Not doing that anymore." So we went through the strikes of not doing it and just consistently kept doing it. And then she got over the strike and then we kept going and yeah.

Andrea Olson:

That's called staying the course.

Shayla Christine:

Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

Like you just go, you start as you mean to go on you. You're like, "Okay, four months we're starting. And then we have little bumps and you just kept at, well when Seth intervened and you guys started

Shayla Christine:

Yeah, and I'm glad that he did, yeah.

Andrea Olson:

... great. Yeah, that's awesome. That even happened with my second. At eight months old, I was like, "We aren't even doing EC with her at all. I am a fraud, I’m gonna get fired." And sure enough, we both were like, "Oh, okay, let's figure this out." She started signing. She was just waiting for us.

Shayla Christine:

Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

That's literally what it is. They're waiting for us. And then you have to find out what works for your family. Are the signals going to work? Is natural timing, like how often do they go? Some people can never find that out.

Shayla Christine:

Right, yeah.

Andrea Olson:

Great. Nope. Then don't do it. Transition times worked for you. And everybody listening, if your baby doesn't signal or you don't know their timing, it still works. If you just ... You just look at other ... You just keep ... Stay creative and stick with it. And if you stick with it, you're just offering, you're not forcing or pressuring. You're just saying, "No, we're actually going to continue to do this, just like we're going to continue to breastfeed. We're going to continue to make sure you get naps, or, we're going to continue to clothe you." It's literally that simple.

Shayla Christine:

Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

Yeah.

Shayla Christine:

And it is just offering, and even now, because the transition to ... I was actually going to ask you this. We use like a toilet seat now. It was a hand-me-down from my nephew, so it's like a little paw patrol thing that sits on the toilet. That was a game changer because I didn't have to ... I could flush it all down the toilet.

Andrea Olson:

Yes, it just dumps and wash a Mini Potty or a TTop Hat Potty

Shayla Christine:

Yeah, so that's ... So she knows though because I'll be like, "Do you have to go potty?" And it's always, "No. Nah, no," unless ... She can't tell quite yet between and farts and poops. So you'll hear her fart a couple times and then she'll do one, she'll look at me with big eyes, she'll go, "Potty, potty, potty." I'm like, "Oh this is the one." So we go, but as soon as I put the paw patrol potty on the toilet, if she says, no, I know she doesn't have to go because I used to put her on it and she would just sit there or like squirm off of it. But if I put it on and she stands there and waits for me to like take off her diaper, I'm like, "Oh, okay, we're going. This is it." And then I set her on there.

Andrea Olson:

How old is she now?

Shayla Christine:

19 months.

Andrea Olson:

Awesome.

Shayla Christine:

Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

Okay. Well I think you guys are doing a fantastic job.

Shayla Christine:

Thanks.

Andrea Olson:

That's my judgment for you-

Shayla Christine:

Well, good.

Andrea Olson:

... my positive judgment. How has the experience been for you so far? Would you say that it's overall been positive, negative, neutral? What do you think?

Shayla Christine:

I think it's been great. I try and tell people all the time and that's ... And I tell people exactly kind of what I'm saying, "Just try it, and if this doesn't work, then try something else. If this doesn't work, try something else." I tried to give it to my neighbor. My neighbor's, like, "Yeah. I don't know. We're just ... I think ..." I'm like, "Yo, you keep cleaning your poopy diapers, I don't care. I'm just saying this is great. Aliya likes it." Especially with cloth diapering, because they do cloth diapering. The EC/cloth diapering combo is like money.

Andrea Olson:

It makes so much sense. Why would you love doing that, cleaning the cloth diaper, poop off a cloth diaper? So you're actually supposed to clean poop off of a disposable too, before you throw it away.

Shayla Christine:

Oh, what?

Andrea Olson:

That's what it says on the package.

Shayla Christine:

What?

Andrea Olson:

You're supposed to dump it before you throw it away.

Shayla Christine:

Makes sense.

Andrea Olson:

Does anybody do that though?

Shayla Christine:

No.

Andrea Olson:

No. Nobody does it. But with cloth diapers, you kind of have to.

Shayla Christine:

Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

And, if you're cloth diapering and you're on the fence about doing EC, just do it. Babies ... Would you say that your baby kind of synced up with you and was like, "Cool I'm on board"?

Shayla Christine:

Yes. And that's and I read that in your book. It's like, "Babies don't want to sit in their poop. Just like how you don't want to sit in your poop." And I definitely felt that way, because even now she'll tell me, "Change it, change it, change my diaper." And I'm like "You know that you're peeing ..." Or, she'll tell me after she goes. So she'll be like, "Potty, potty." And I look at her little tiny undies and they're wet and I'm like, "Okay, you're getting it. Now we need to know before."

Andrea Olson:

The right order

Shayla Christine:

Yeah, right.

Andrea Olson:

Yeah, the order, that happens naturally. So daytime, are you guys out of diapers? Are you in undies full-time during the day now or

Shayla Christine:

No, we're doing cloth mostly.

Andrea Olson:

Okay.

Shayla Christine:

And we just ... because I got the black Friday sale, so I just got all the undies.

Andrea Olson:

You've got all the undies, you're equipped. You've been doing great. So what is holding you back? And this is the reason I'm asking Shayla is because I like to ask everybody this. What is holding you back from stopping using the diapers during the day?

Shayla Christine:

Just committing. Like, that's the plan. Now that we have these tiny undies, because how many would you recommend having? I have nine. I feel like that's not quite enough.

Andrea Olson:

I usually have a dozen, but nine is great. Nine will get you started. And then you can also go commando in between like if you run out of underwear for the day, just put them in pants, or put her in pants with no underwear.

Shayla Christine:

I like the Tiny Undies, everyone listening, because they don't get all over the floor. They're not waterproof, but they are contained.

Andrea Olson:

Oh, the Tiny Trainers.

Shayla Christine:

Yes, the Tiny Trainers.

Andrea Olson:

Yes.

Shayla Christine:

Yes.

Andrea Olson:

Absolutely.

Shayla Christine:

That's amazing.

Andrea Olson:

And here's the thing, if that is all that's holding you back is just committing and now you've got the tools, you guys, Shayla is going to do it.

Shayla Christine:

I'm going to do it.

Andrea Olson:

Her last daytime diaper.

Shayla Christine:

And I'm on board and it's ... I think it's mostly like you have the babysitter over and then they have to kind of be on track. And it's, if I have the energy now that I'm pregnant to like stay focused and like do the thing. I'm definitely onboard and I'm equipping myself with all the things that I need to do, and then I ... It's like weaning breastfeeding. You're like, "Yeah, we're going to wean soon." "Yeah. Yeah. No, no, husband, I agree. We should probably wean." "Yeah. Okay." And then like one day you're like, "Okay, this is the day we're doing it." Or, like, "This Friday is the day we're starting."

Andrea Olson:

Yeah, it's almost as random as that. Like, "I just need to set a date and that

Shayla Christine:

Yes, exactly.

Andrea Olson:

"I'm going to do it on December 31st, and that is it. New year, we will have no more diapers," whatever it is, just it's awesome. And your baby rises to the occasion every time and it is amazing.

Shayla Christine:

I believe that.

Andrea Olson:

It literally is up to us and us going, "Okay, I'm pregnant. I'm having a hard time. What works for me and what doesn't?" Now, I do want to share with the audience that if your baby is totally using the diaper as a toilet and really prefers that, if you get to that point, that's when you know you need to stop using those daytime diapers immediately, when they start to relax into it and go, "Oh, I'm just going to use this because it's on me," which generally is a boy thing, I have to say-

Shayla Christine:

Funny.

Andrea Olson:

... because they're like, "Ooh, a tool I'm just going to use this tool." And a lot of husbands are like that too. They're like, "Let's use the tool as the toilet instead." And it's like, "No, you're going to mess this up." But, that's sort of our little cue as parents to go, "Okay, we need to stop using these diapers." So, it can be at 11 months, some people do it at like nine months, some people do it at 14 months, but it doesn't matter, as long as it works for your family, that is the most important thing.

Shayla Christine:

Well, and that's the goal is by the time this next baby comes, which is 24 months, but we're getting there.

Andrea Olson:

Oh, you're going to be so fine, way before.

Shayla Christine:

Yeah, I know. That's kind of how I feel too. But, okay, question.

Andrea Olson:

Yes.

Shayla Christine:

We've always said like, "Oh you did it, you went potty," blah blah blah blah blah. But now I'm like, "Okay, we're old enough to say, 'Good job'"?

Andrea Olson:

You can say good job if you want to.

Shayla Christine:

Okay.

Andrea Olson:

Yeah.

Shayla Christine:

But not in the beginning, right? It's like the intrinsic/extrinsic motivation.

Andrea Olson:

So I do think ... What do I say? Yeah, I don't say, "Good girl," I say, "Good job." There's a difference. So, you're making a judgment about them as a person, when you say a good girl or good boy, like you would with a puppy. Like with my puppy, I say, "Good girl," because she's a dog and that's just fine.

Shayla Christine:

I'm not going to hurt her lifetime self-esteem.

Andrea Olson:

I know, I'm not going to ruin my dog's self and she's one, she's fine. But with a baby, we can say, "Good job," and, "you did it," and "awesome," and, "that was great," like we work together, go team. But saying good girl or good boy, is what I stay away from. So I've kind of gone back and forth a little bit. And just having been an experienced mom of five now where I'm now able ... I'm qualified to give advice on pretty much anything baby, because I know better than I did when I had one. But basically, yeah, it doesn't ... Like, I don't care if you say, "Good job," from the very beginning at this point. What I do know is like, what's behind it? What are you trying to communicate with your baby? That they are good for doing it or that, that was, Great teamwork and we did it"? You know?

Shayla Christine:

Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

So, just say what you mean, and if it comes out like that, sometimes, who cares

Shayla Christine:

Yeah. But she ... Well, and now-

Andrea Olson:

... you're filming it for YouTube, so people are watching, but most people, nobody's watching.

Shayla Christine:

True. Yes. Well, and because every time she pees, I go, "Yay." And I clap, so now she pees, and she goes, "Yay."

Andrea Olson:

Oh, totally-

Shayla Christine:

And I'm like, "That's right."

Andrea Olson:

best thing ever.

Shayla Christine:

Oh, she's ... Oh, is it so weird? I love watching her poop faces, that's so weird.

Andrea Olson:

So funny.

Shayla Christine:

She like grunts down and gets this like red nose. And I'm like, "You're the cutest thing in the whole wide world."

Andrea Olson:

At graduations and weddings for all five of mine, I'm whipping those photos out, man, because they're the funniest ever.

Shayla Christine:

Oh, that's so funny.

Andrea Olson:

And hopefully ... I heard that there's a way, like, if my kids work for me on any of my stuff for my business, that I can pay them tax free and invest that money. So I'll just be like, "I'm sharing this picture and here's a million."

Shayla Christine:

Yes. Yeah. "Your photo has been on my website for the past 18 years-"

Andrea Olson:

"interest, here you go. Here's your-"

Shayla Christine:

That's a thing. I've talked to accountants, who's like, "If your photo's on the website, you get to pay yourself as a model-"

Andrea Olson:

Yes.

Shayla Christine:

an income." And you're like, "What?"

Andrea Olson:

I mean, come on, why not?

Shayla Christine:

Right? Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

Okay. So the experience has been positive.

Shayla Christine:

Yes.

Andrea Olson:

You've got another baby on the way, your goal is to be out of diapers by 24 months. And remember, at night you can still use a backup. And again, nobody's watching, unless you are just telling everybody about it, which is fine. Sometimes having people watch or know about it, it's like an accountability partner. So cool, we can do that. I do want to know, how did EC jive with the other ways that you have chosen to raise your baby? Like, with sleep, have you noticed any kind of impact with nursing or sleeping or baby wearing or any of that? Or has it been pretty cohesive, like, "Hey, it's just a part of what we do"?

Shayla Christine:

I don't know that I understand, but it does feel like the second part

Andrea Olson:

Has EC disturbed sleep?

Shayla Christine:

Okay, so we never did it at night because I was always afraid I was going to wake her up more.

Andrea Olson:

Exactly. Right, right. Smart.

Shayla Christine:

Is that a ... Okay. I don't know. I was like ... But, it felt very cohesive because kind of, my approach was like connection, understanding, communication. We did sign language. We did all of the things and it was just co-sleeping. Everything was just like, "Okay, we're a team, it's you and I, we've got this." Like, "I'm going to help you fall asleep." Even though I'm not sleep training, "We're doing that and I feel good about it. We're going to nurse to sleep. We're going to do the breastfeeding thing because I feel like I'm ..." And it wasn't this huge bond thing, but it was like, "I'm doing this for your health." All the things, this was just added on of like, "This is just another way that we connect, another way that we communicate, another way that I try and help you and understand." And it just ... Everything that I read in your book made so much sense of just, "This is what other countries do. This is not that bizarre."

Andrea Olson:

Yeah, it's natural. Some people call it species specific, so like, we're going with the way our babies operate and work. Like, it's just a natural and organic way of raising a baby, but it's also responsive parenting. So you're basically like, "Hey, what do you need? Okay, cool. I'm the one who's supposed to help you do that." You're not doing it for them, but you're doing it together.

Shayla Christine:

Yep. Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

You guys should definitely watch her channel. I love the way she does everything. It's like, "Hey, we're just going to be real here."

Shayla Christine:

Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

And this is what works and-

Shayla Christine:

Well, and I think that's what's important is like, because if somebody reads a book and they're like, "Oh, I tried the cues and it didn't work for me, so I quit." Like, "No, you don't have to quit. Just don't do that, try something else." And that's why I do try and be honest because it's like, "Yeah, this was really hard at first. And then we did this and it made it easier." I just, I don't know, like that. I just try and be honest about what happened, so that people don't feel like they're a failure if it didn't work the first time. I'm like, "No."

Andrea Olson:

I know, because so many people are like, "Oh, everything's great. And here's a day in the life with a newborn." I'm like, "What? That's a day in the life with what newborn?"

Shayla Christine:

And how do you ... I can't do a day in the life. I've tried it before. And I'm like, you just have your camera with you all the time, and then you're just ... I don't know.

Andrea Olson:

I know.

Shayla Christine:

Kudos.

Andrea Olson:

Hey, whatever, that's out there, you don't have to do it. So, what would you say is the one thing that you've done with your EC practice that has made like a huge positive difference, if you could think of something that you guys have done?

Shayla Christine:

Positive difference with just overall?

Andrea Olson:

Well, yeah, overall, or with the pottying part, like what-

Shayla Christine:

I do think that when we switched to transitions, it really started to flow.

It was like every single morning when she first woke up, 90% of the time I got to potty. And when we would come out of the ... I did it outside one time and I was just astounded that she like peed next to the car. But like there was, if I could ... if it had been a while and she was still dry and I was like, "Okay, well, we should try and potty," and then she would go. It was just the transition times that really made everything click. And I was like, "Okay, I kind of have an idea of when we need to do this. Or, if there is no transitions because it's my first trimester, we've been watching TV for a few hours . Yeah. Now we need ... Yeah, exactly. Let's try and let's ... It's just to keep introducing with no stress.

Andrea Olson:

Right.

Shayla Christine:

Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

It's just like the routine. You're just ... You're basically pegging it on habits you already have. I'm already going to get out of the car to go in this place, so let's try.

Shayla Christine:

"I need to feed you."

Andrea Olson:

Yeah, "I need to feed you."

Shayla Christine:

"We'll try after that."

Andrea Olson:

"I just want you to not fuss for a little while and so, I can watch this show and veg out in front of Netflix because I'm pregnant. So we're going to go potty right now so we can relax for a couple hours."

Shayla Christine:

Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

It can be as selfish as that.

Shayla Christine:

Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

I love it. Well, so where can people find you? Where are you on all the things?

Shayla Christine:

Hey Shayla, on everything. So Instagram is where I am daily, just like on stories talking about random stuff. The podcast is what I started because I have all ... Because I have this following, people send me people and I start following you. And I start following this person. And then I reach out to them and I'm like, "Hey, can I interview you?" And I love talking with people. I love learning new things. I love connecting with people. And so I get to learn all those things and then share them with people on my podcast. And then my YouTube is just where I get to tell stories, and, "Oh, these are good things for ..." I don't know, I just did one on like, things that I'll do differently with baby number two and all of-

Andrea Olson:

Ooh…what are you going to do differently with baby number two?

Shayla Christine:

Honestly, yeah, I don't know. Now that I'm out of the breastfeeding thing, I was like, "We are doing a bottle for sure because Aliya never took a bottle and that was like so difficult for ... Oh my gosh.

Andrea Olson:

You're basically trapped.

Shayla Christine:

Yes, that's exactly what it is. But, now I'm like ... But then I had a friend come over with a bottle, and I was like, "So you had to pump that milk and then store it and then bring it over here. And then you have to wash that bottle. Like that's ..."

Andrea Olson:

Some effort, there is a little effort, but you get a little bit of freedom.

Shayla Christine:

Yeah, more than a three hour break. Yeah, that's great.

Andrea Olson:

It's worth trying.

Shayla Christine:

Yeah, that was, I think one of the main ones, but I still think we're going to do the floor bed and the co-sleeping and there's a lot of stuff that we'll do ... Oh the purple push, that's kind of a weird one, but like, I did hypnobirthing during my labor, so I listened to this meditation. They say it's not meditation, it's hypnosis, whatever. But at the end they're like, "Okay, push, push, push." And this book Ina May's Guide to Childbirth is like my Bible for labor.

Andrea Olson:

I love that book.

Shayla Christine:

Oh, it's ... Every pregnant person should read that. Regardless if you want an epidural, C-section, just read. But they say that the uterus does 90% of the job. And in my video, I'm like, "If any of us have significant others, men specifically, who take 45 minutes to poop, you could probably talk to them about this because they don't think that you should push. You just kind of wait for it to come. And then wait and that's how you should labor. So you just wait for that baby to come down and then you let your uterus do 90%. And then you just do a little push. If you're straining and you're getting the purple face, purple push, you're doing too much work. Just let that baby work down."

Andrea Olson:

Totally, you can massively hurt yourself. Like, I just went through a bunch of public floor therapy over the last two years.

Shayla Christine:

Good for you. Oh, it was ... Nobody told me I should do it. And you really-

Andrea Olson:

Right. like, you should literally do it after every baby. You just should. I did it after baby five. And luckily I didn't have any massive damage, but I definitely had pain during sex. And it was just so bad that I didn't even want to have it, and it’s probably part of the reason we got divorced. But I definitely had some, like ... They do into internal massage, they do all this stuff. And then you figure out how to engage the transverse abdominus, all this stuff, to just get back to as much normal as possible. You guys definitely check out pelvic floor therapy. The person who does it in person will go inside and do all the work and like loosen up those muscles. But, you can massively hurt yourself from pushing. I pushed for four hours with my first baby. You guys, it was 17 hour labor. I had contractions like, every 90 seconds or every 60 seconds, it was terrible.

Shayla Christine:

Oh my gosh.

Andrea Olson:

And I had midwives just like managing everything and bless them, I love them, but they were way too

Shayla Christine:

Involved. Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

Involved. And then I had almost unassisted birth, four hour labor. Then I had an unassisted birth, 75 minutes. Amazing. Easy. Like what you just described, I felt his head going all the way down. And I just had my hand inside the whole time at the end. And it was just like-

Shayla Christine:

wild.

Andrea Olson:

... very ... My body did it. The next one, I had a four hour labor. I didn't know how to pop my own water, so I just went in and 30 minutes, popped out a baby.

Shayla Christine:

Wow.

Andrea Olson:

They all let me save my placenta, the two hospital births. And then my fifth labor, it was unassisted. And I had finished the manuscript for my unassisted birth book right before Twyla was born. So that one was, I literally put in her baby blanket to the wash. And when it came out of the dryer, she was there.

Shayla Christine:

Oh my gosh.

Andrea Olson:

Yeah. And that was, I birthed into my super deep, awesome tub that I got for birthing, like-

Shayla Christine:

Wow.

Andrea Olson:

in my bathroom. And then I birthed her into that and I literally ... I did push, but I pushed when my body said-

Shayla Christine:

"Now."

Andrea Olson:

... "Do it." And I finally had that experience. Oh, Shayla, let me tell you, it was like a dream. It was like ... It wasn't painful. It was just like totally in alignment with how we were built.

Shayla Christine:

Right. Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

I want to send you that book too.

Shayla Christine:

Okay.

Andrea Olson:

It's Brave New Birth. It just came out and, really, I just wrote it because I wanted a manual for myself.

Shayla Christine:

Yes.

Andrea Olson:

And I figured out how to dilate quickly and how to make it just like super smooth. And it can be used for a not unassisted birth. It can be used for hospital births, whatever. But it's so important to just step aside and disassociate a little bit, but also like, "I'm here when my body needs me, just tell me what to do."

Shayla Christine:

Yeah. And that's what ... Ina May, she's like, "People have given birth in comas because your body just does it." And so you kind of have to just get out of your own head because it's the fear. There's a-

Andrea Olson:

Is fear. Fear makes tension. Tension makes pain.

Shayla Christine:

Yes. But the fear it's like, it puts you in fight or flight, so your cervix goes, "It's not safe to do this here," but your uterus is like, "It's go time," pain.

Andrea Olson:

Okay. Now, I'm going to relate this to EC. When you put your baby on the potty and you leave the room and they have privacy, sometimes when they cry and cry on the potty, you just leave the room and they'll actually go when you're gone, because they're not being watched. And somebody I studied for my birth book a lot was Michel Odent and he wrote this book on birth and breastfeeding. And he is such a champion of like, "This is the way you're made and this is normal. But the number one thing you need is privacy. So put a towel-"

Shayla Christine:

Interesting.

Andrea Olson:

... "over your face if you need to, so nobody can see you and your cervix will open up so fast."

Shayla Christine:

Wild. Well, that's what she said. She's like, "Imagine somebody putting a bowl in the middle of a room of people and saying, 'Poop in the bowl.'" You can't do it. Yeah, exactly.

Andrea Olson:

"Have an orgasm-

Shayla Christine:

Aliya-

Andrea Olson:

... "in front of everybody."

Shayla Christine:

... she takes the curtain and she covers her head. But, she'll also be like-

Andrea Olson:

My kids did that too.

Shayla Christine:

Yeah. She'll be like, "Dad, come sit down, come sit down." And then it's like a little party in the bathroom, like with all of us. So she goes between like ... But I will-

Andrea Olson:

When giving birth, you might want company in one moment and then the next moment you're like, "Don't look at me. Don't look at me." My poor husband, he was actually ... like, I got to give it to him, he was great during birth. He was totally in service during birth.

Shayla Christine:

That's good.

Andrea Olson:

Yeah. But like it took us five labors to really get it, to really get it. Now I'm like, "I want another baby, but I don't have a husband. Shoot, No, I'm just kidding.

Shayla Christine:

Stop.

Andrea Olson:

Just kidding.

Shayla Christine:

Oh my gosh.

Andrea Olson:

Okay. So are you going to have more after this baby? That's my last question for you?

Shayla Christine:

I don't think so. I think ... Well, because we were between two and three and we just went on a trip because we were travelers. We like to travel and go places, and we bought a tank of a car seat. Like this car seat weighs 80 pound or something. So Seth is carrying the car seat. I'm carrying the baby. I'm carrying all the things. So we're just going on like a weekend trip to Arizona. And Seth is like, "We're stopping it. I'm getting a vasectomy after two." And I was like, "This is a conversation, first of all, you don't just get to get a vasectomy." He's like, "No, no." And the first trimester I was insanely emotional, like sobbing myself to sleep because I don't know, life was overwhelming. I couldn't really pinpoint it. Hormones, hormones are

Andrea Olson:

hormones.

Shayla Christine:

So, he's like, "I don't think we should do another pregnancy. I don't think we should do another ..." And I'm like, "Well, maybe because then we can ..." My mom ... There was two of us. She's like, "Your dad grabbed one hand. I grab one hand and we could just go." So, three feels very familial to me, even though I only had two growing up, but two feels manageable.

Andrea Olson:

Manageable.

Shayla Christine:

Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

Well, I will tell you something from all ... I know a lot of moms who have 12 babies, 10 babies, eight babies. They're all in the homeschooling community out here, like massive baby makers. They all say, and I would have to agree that the fourth is the easiest. So number one, you're just like, "Whoa, but the breaks on my life. Who am I?" Number two is like, "Okay, I'm a little overwhelmed, but at least I can give you one and I can have the other one. We can do this. But it's crazy." Three is like, "Oh my gosh, we're outnumbered. And it's nuts." And then by the fourth one, because they're not all the same age, you're just like, "Oh another pretty face."

Shayla Christine:

Acceptance.

Andrea Olson:

"Oh another pretty face. Oh, I actually know what I'm doing now." And they're older, so they kind of take care of the younger ones too.

Shayla Christine:

Right. Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

And then you have like this brood and it is chaos sometimes. And sometimes it's just like the most beautiful ... Last year, around the Christmas tree I walk in and they're all singing Oh Christmas Tree, holding hands-

Shayla Christine:

What?

Andrea Olson:

... like spontaneously around it. I'm like-

Shayla Christine:

What?

Andrea Olson:

... "Oh my gosh, this is the cutest thing I've ever seen.”

Shayla Christine:

Yeah, "What is my life right now?" That's insane.

Shayla Christine:

I believe that, and I've heard after-

Andrea Olson:

I have earplugs, they're called Loops and I definitely put them in because it's a lot of input for me and I'm very sensitive.

Shayla Christine:

Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

But, I think if you're going to go for big family, go for four more and if you're not, two is perfect.

Shayla Christine:

Right.

Andrea Olson:

Oh, man.

Shayla Christine:

Don't stop at the overwhelm- overwhelm.

Andrea Olson:

Three is-

Shayla Christine:

Don't stop at that number.

Andrea Olson:

Oh, don't stop at three, oh, no,

Shayla Christine:

Oh, that's so funny. Yeah. So, it's still up in the air, but we're thinking two for now, which is weird I guess, but-

Andrea Olson:

Well, leave the door open. Tell him not to get cut, "Come on, just in case."

Shayla Christine:

I know. I know. Don't worry. I'll just ... I'll track it naturally.

Andrea Olson:

Right?

Shayla Christine:

It'll be fine.

Andrea Olson:

That works so well.

Shayla Christine:

Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

I will tell you ... And I want everybody listening to know this ... there is an app called My Days and it's awesome. It tracks everything for you. And if you're trying to get pregnant, I got pregnant instantly three times with this. It has a mapping of your temperature, and you do a basal thermometer in your anus every morning before you get out of bed and so you do that that way and you get this really specific, like two decimal points of a temperature and you put it into the app and when it spikes, you're supposed to have sex and you'll have a baby. Now, if you're trying not to have a baby, sperm can live in your body for five days. So guess what? You're not going to be able to do it accurately. It's going to be really hard. But this app does show this faded out, like, "These are the times when you can get pregnant," and it's five days before your ovulation. So anyway, for anybody listening who needs help getting pregnant or not, that could be a way to go. And you're just super fertile, so watch out.

Shayla Christine:

Yeah, I know. Well, and that I was doing the basal body too.

Andrea Olson:

What?

Shayla Christine:

And then there's like cervical-

Andrea Olson:

Fluid and ferning, and then there's a little ... What's it called ... It's not a ferniscope. It's called a Ovulens.

Andrea Olson:

Yeah, you look through it, you put your fluid on it-

Shayla Christine:

What?

Andrea Olson:

... and you look out window and you can see ... If it makes a fern design that means you are ovulating.

Shayla Christine:

What?

Andrea Olson:

For real.

Shayla Christine:

I've never heard of that.

Andrea Olson:

Yeah. But again, it's not five days.

Shayla Christine:

Right, I know, that's the thing. Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

That's the problem. Yeah. Anyway, well, I can't wait to follow your story and everybody else.

Shayla Christine:

Good transition

Andrea Olson:

I know, right. On that note, I can't wait to see what happens and I'm going to be on Shayla's podcast soon as well.

Shayla Christine:

Yes.

Andrea Olson:

So we'll be talking all about EC from me.

Shayla Christine:

Yes.

Andrea Olson:

She's going to interview me. So, I can't wait til you do that and we're going to have fun.

Shayla Christine:

I'm so excited.

Andrea Olson:

I don't know. You know, in the time you hear this, I don't know when it's going to happen, but I will put that in the show notes. I'll put links to all of Shayla's stuff in the show notes as well. And, you guys can also get my free easy start guide, which is a little gateway in if you're curious. And then my book is what Shayla got when she became serious. So curious, easy start guide, serious, book. That's the next step. And then, Tiny Undies has like everything, as you can vouch for-

Shayla Christine:

Yeah.

Andrea Olson:

... that you could possibly need for pottying your baby. So, check us all out there. Shayla, thank you so much for being on the show.

Shayla Christine:

Thank you.

Andrea Olson:

Again, you can check out the show notes, including the full written transcript of today's interview, which was awesome, wasn't it? It was amazing, and you can go to godiaperfree.com/173 to find that. Please come over, say hello, leave a comment, tell me what the biggest takeaway is that you had from today's interview, and I'll see you over there.

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xx Andrea

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The post How Shayla did EC with her baby: An interview with Hey Shayla! appeared first on Go Diaper Free.

View Details

You get the signal, you scoop up your babe, you're in position over the sink and cueing...but ugh, Baby is heavy! Is struggling with in-arms pottying a rite of passage with EC or is there a better way?

Listen for how to avoid back (and wrist!) pain while pottying an in-arms baby (plus posture tips for nursing and using the top hat potty!)

You will hear: * posture solutions to lessen back pain and enable in-arms pottying * back-friendly pottying holds for babies with and without head support * the correct way to use a top hat potty (and nurse your babe!) * whole-body posture hacks for the early days of parenting * how to tell when you may need more help for your back or pelvic floor

Links and other resources mentioned today: * The Top Hat Potty at Tiny Undies * The Mini Potty at Tiny Undies * The Go Diaper Free Book

Download the Transcript If you can't listen to this episode right now (um, sleeping baby!?)...download and read the transcript here:

Transcript download: Mama Posture + Back Pain While Pottying Your Baby

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This is episode 172, Mama's Posture and Back Pain While Pottying, How Do We Resolve That? That's what we'll talk about, in today's show. You can check out the show notes at godiaperfree.com/172, where you will find a full written transcript and links to everything I mentioned in today's show.

Hey there, welcome to the Go Diaper Free podcast. I'm Andrea Olson, your host, author, and mom of five babies, all EC from birth, all out of diapers by walking.

If you have experienced back pain while pottying your baby, you definitely know that this is not something that makes you want to keep pottying your baby. You're like, "Ah, my back is killing me, but I really need to take my baby to the potty." And you're probably in the in arms phase, where you're holding your baby over the toilet, and for some reason, your back is not happy about it.

So today, we're going to talk about some solutions, some things you can do with your posture, that will help you to lessen the back pain that you're experiencing while pottying your baby. Are you guys ready to learn that? Because I think it's really important. For those of us, like me, who have always had a "bad back", this is super helpful. Once you get your posture in order, you're going to have a much better time pottying your baby. And it's actually going to let you continue to potty your baby, and not give up on EC just because of back pain. So if you have had back pain as well, today's show is for you for sure.

Now, the first thing I want to say is, when you're holding your baby in your arms, and if your baby is just really, really big, or you already had a bad back and you're feeling back pain, it's because you are not standing up straight. So there are a couple different fixes for this. The first thing I wanted to say is, move to doing in arms over your toilet. And, you know those kid stools that they have, that you can find the nice all natural bamboo ones, or you can find one that's Baby Bjorn, the one who makes the bigger potties. They have nice, no slip step stools for children. That's the kind of stool I want you to put in front of your big toilet, and then hold your baby over the toilet while you are sitting on the stool.

So depending on how tall you are and how long your legs are, this should put you at the exact right spot, so that you can hold your baby in classic or cradled EC position over the big toilet, and you won't have that strain on your back, especially if you have a super heavy baby who is not quite holding their head up yet. If you've got a baby who is sitting unassisted already, then what you can do is start moving from doing in arms over the sink or wherever, or the Top Hat potty, whatever you're using that's hurting your back, to putting them on the big toilet on a toilet seat reducer or using a Mini Potty. And you guys, if you've known me for long enough, you know that I have the Mini Potty on tinyundies.com. It is super short, so that a baby who's just newly sitting, like five or six months old, can actually touch the ground, and they are really comfortable on it because they can feel the ground under their feet. And that will save your back a whole bunch.

But please be warned, you probably have that breastfeeding hunch that a lot of new moms have. Now, I've had five babies myself. I've definitely had that going on. You also have the one hip always going while your right hand or left hand is always doing things. So, we usually come out of new motherhood with massive back issues. When you're pottying your baby, I want to make sure we avoid these. So, you can go from in arms over the sink or wherever, which is where I usually start my babies, to in arms over the toilet with a stool. Or, you can just mind your posture while you're over it.

And the thing I just mentioned was just to start using a mini potty, start using a toilet seat reducer on the big toilet. If your baby is holding up their head, you can hold them there. What we don't want to do though, is, if your baby is not sitting unassisted yet, you don't want to put pressure on their spine. So you want to make sure that they are sitting independently already, even if they kind of topple over, but you can tell that they have that strength. And if they don't have that, we don't really want to let their weight sit on the mini potty or the toilet seat reducer, without a massive amount of assistance from us. Okay? Hopefully that makes sense.

So the other thing, you'll notice that when you're nursing, you're looking over at your baby. So you've got your head down, even mine is still sore from years of doing this, and you've got your shoulders hunched over, and you're really making this little cocoon for your baby. What I want you to start doing instead is bring your baby to you. Instead of bringing your breast to your baby, you want to bring your baby to your breast. And I learned that from a yoga instructor, Mommy And Me Yoga, back in Berkeley a long time ago. And, every single woman in the room was hunched over nursing their babies, during yoga. And she was like, "No, no, no. Everybody, sit up straight."

So, you want to engage your core and pretend like there is a golden hook on top of your head. And there is a golden string going to the ceiling, and that will align your back over your pelvis, and your shoulders over your backbone, and your head on top of everything else, like they're a bunch of building blocks on top of each other. And then when you're sitting up like this, you bring your baby to your breast to feed, right? So that's how to have good posture while breastfeeding.

Well, we want to apply the same thing when we have a Top Hat potty in between our legs, and we're pottying our babies. We sometimes feel like we have to hunch over, in order to give our babies support on their back and spine. But the way we were designed, to hold our babies like this, is that when we are sitting upright and our chest is open and we have good posture, we have this wonderful place for the babies' heads and nestle in between our breasts. So this is exactly how we need to be, just being mindful of it, every single time you go to potty your baby, especially if you've had back pain, especially if your baby's getting heavy, especially if you're just exhausted. You want to not do damage to your postpartum body. You're already gone through enough.

So you want to, when you're holding them over the sink, the toilet or the Top Hat Potty, and they are leaning up against their back, as leaning against your chest, and your hands are underneath their thighs, you've got your body in a straight, upright position. They've got their body in a straight, upright position, and they're in a deep squat. Everybody's going to have a way better time and potty time is going to be way more sustainable. Does that make sense? So please, please, please, mind your own posture.

And the other thing is, have somebody be your accountability partner in this. So if you have a partner, husband, wife, whatever, and you are around each other, at least some of the day, to say, "Hey, hun, could you let me know if you see me slouching while I'm pottying our baby," and then they can definitely let you know. I also invite you to take a picture, have a picture taken of yourself when you're pottying your baby, and then look at your posture and see how you can improve it.

So again, I want to go over, and you can get pelvic floor therapy that will help you to engage your core, if you feel like nothing's there after having a baby, this is quite common, especially if you have diastasis recti. And I don't even know if I'm saying that right, but that's what I call it. It's basically where your abs are separated a little bit, and you can work with a physical therapist, a pelvic floor therapist specifically. They do internal and external work as well, and give you exercises. And I did that after my fifth baby. I wish I would've known about them way before then, because it really helped a lot of my back. My lower back pain was because my pelvic floor was not... You've got your diaphragm and your pelvic floor and they kind of make a balloon. And if part of that is not strong, then you're going to have a leak in that pressure. And that pressurized system is really necessary to hold your core in place, so that you can have good posture and no back pain.

So all of these things, starting from what I talked about in the beginning, which is you sitting on a stool and just taking care of yourself while you're not able to hold them fully, to, "Hey, let's actually look at what's causing this back pain in the first place, that EC and holding your baby is making worse." Does that make sense? So, if you go to a pelvic floor therapist, they're going to put you through probably 6 to 12 weeks of exercises and work, internal and external, to get you all ship shape. And it literally changed my life. I was able to lift weights and do squats and things like that, whereas before I wasn't. So, I definitely want you guys to look into that, if you're having back pain and a really bad mama's posture. When you're breastfeeding, bring your baby to you, don't bring your breast to your baby.

The last thing I want to mention to you about posture is your hands. I know this sounds really weird because your hands are not part of what holds you upright. But your hands, if you are holding your baby, and you've got your hand crooked, so your wrist is basically broken, the line is broken, and you're holding your baby, and you're nursing like that. With the amount of relaxation and hormones in your body at this time postpartum is still kind of cycling through and leaving your body, you are going to have some problems. You're still hyper flexible, right? You're going to have some problems, and you could actually get carpal tunnel symptoms, by holding your baby with this broken wrist, instead of being conscious of having it in a straight line.

So when we're holding our babies in EC position also, and in cradled position especially, make sure your wrists, make sure the line between your elbow and your fingertips is not broken by bending your wrist. Does that make sense too? Hopefully you can visualize that. Look it up if you need a visual. But basically, you want to have a straight line from your elbow to your fingers, anytime you're holding your baby. So that should help with any kind of wrist pain. So you're having pain while pottying your baby, you're not going to stick with it. And I really want you to stick with it. That's what I'm all about here at Go Diaper Free is I want to make sure that everything is as simple as possible. Though it might not be easy at times, we still want to make it simple, because this is a really simple process that we were all created to do.

And yeah, I think this is what a lot of you needed to hear. Let me just check my notes, make sure I didn't miss anything. Sometimes, it depends on which receptacle you're using, as to which will provide you with the least back pain and the best posture. And I really want you to work with your baby, and find out what's the best for you as well. Because again, if it's not sustainable for the mom, it's not going to be sustainable for the baby. This includes any caregivers you have and includes dad as well. You want to make sure that everybody who's doing this with your baby has good posture, because that also translates to your baby having good posture while they're leaning against you.

And that straight upright position is going to allow them and everything to flow downward. So it kind of makes sense. We're all in alignment. We're all in good posture. Babies are born with perfect posture. And when they sit for the first time, you're just like, "Whoa, look at where their head is." I studied Alexander Technique for a long time, and it really is amazing how just your head placement on the top of your neck affects your entire posture. So if you've been in bad posture because you're a new mom, again or for the first time, and it's because of nursing and cradling and shushing and holding this baby all the time, and you are leaning over and crouching around onto them, we want to change and pull your posture upright, bring your baby to you, and then adjust the way you're pottying by using a stool, changing up your receptacle, starting to set them on something when they have the ability to sit unassisted, and make modifications to make EC-ing sustainable, all right?

So that's all I had to share with you today. I will definitely be posting pictures on my Instagram and Facebook, every so often reminding you of the proper posture. For right now, while you're sitting here listening, let's practice. So we're going to engage the transverse abdominals by... You'll have to actually practice this and look it up and learn how to do it or work with a PT, but you're basically engaging the muscles that go across, not your abs, but across them, right? And in doing that, we're also doing a little kegel and pulling that up, like you're pulling a marble up. And at the same time, we are making sure that our shoulders are not forced backwards, but that they are falling gently straight down. And that our head and neck are not straight out, like we're on a stress response, but we've got it settled back on our spine a little bit.

And with all of this in alignment, we breathe and we learn how to breathe in proper alignment. And this is a whole process, you guys. I've spent years trying to get myself back in order after having all these babies. And definitely, you can do things, going from in arms to a mini potty to save your back. You can go from the sink to the toilet, with your butt on a stool, mom. And you can do all these things. But at its core, I encourage everybody, everybody who is hearing me right now, to go and see a pelvic floor therapist, if you have haven't, and just check it out and see what's going on, because you're going to find so much help if you're having back pain while pottying from that as well.

All right, you guys, thank you so much. It was great to see you today and to teach you all of these. Not see you, but to speak to you all today. And, I hope you have a wonderful time pottying. May it be sustainable and joyous, with no back. Awesome. Take care, you guys.

Again, you can check out the show notes at godiaperfree.com/172, and I hope you learned a lot today. Please go over to the show notes right now and let us know, do you have back pain while pottying? And if so, what are you going to do today to resolve it? I look forward to talking to you there.

Thanks so much for listening. This is the Go Diaper Free podcast at godiaperfree.com. We'll see you next time.

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What posture change are you going to incorporate to give your back more support while pottying your babe? Please leave a comment below with your thoughts I look forward to discussing with you in the comments, below!

xx Andrea

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