Grace In Real Life podcast: Recent Episodes
Jill E. McCormick, writer + speaker
This podcast is for those who want to wholeheartedly pursue Christ.
You’re a woman who wants to follow where God leads, to live and love well, to extend grace to yourself and others, but there’s a part of you that’s like how?
You want your faith to intersect with your busy and full life, but you aren’t sure what that looks like in real-time.
Here at the Grace In Real Life podcast, we talk about how to practically apply grace in real life. Listen in!
Receiving grace starts by being in community, by belonging, and connecting. How does grace show up when producing a podcast? Take a listen for this behind-the-scenes look.
Before I launched the podcast, I knew I needed a team around me—people to pray for me and the podcast, give insight and ideas, offer suggestions for guests and questions to ask those guests, help me write a title that would appeal most to my listeners, and come alongside me to determine if a guest was in theological and doctrinal alignment with the podcast’s statement of faith.
And the women you are about to meet rose to that challenge to love Jesus, love me, love Grace In Real Life, and love you, my sweet listener. This team has helped me with branding and graphic design decisions along with editing scripts and voting on series ideas. If you’ve loved this podcast, it’s because Amy, Angi, Eileen, Kira, Lauren, and Nina made it so good.
Together, we break down:
- What the podcast team did and how I curated this team,
- What God taught me through the podcast,
- Podcasting surprises,
- How I select guests and how I ask them to be on the show,
- How I planned content and how I handled unexpected global events, like the pandemic and social unrest,
- AND SO MUCH MORE.
If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like behind the scenes here and how community has shaped what the podcast is today, listen in.
Being who you are, being who God created you to be, is the most free way to live. So how do we live in the wide open space God offers? Listen in.
Living in God’s wide open spaces means there is no condemnation in Christ. God certainly convicts and corrects, but He never assaults your identity. If the Lord has set you free, you are free indeed.
It is a grace to accept the fearful and wonderful way God designed you, not to wish you were more like someone else, not to feel confined by the belief that there’s only one way to live your life.
Friend, our God takes us away from tight spots and places us in wide-open, green pastures. We no longer need to feel as if we must contort ourselves to fit and conform to someone else’s standards or life or expectations of what we “should” be doing.
We no longer need to play the comparison game. We no longer need to feel the shame of legalism. We are free to run, dance, live, and rest in the grace of the wide open spaces of God’s provision and goodness.
In this episode, we’ll unpack how our God is a God of wide open spaces. So, how is this grace, and what do we even mean?
Mentioned in the podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry, there's no added cost to you!
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194: What I Want You To Know: Grace and truth
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195: What I Want You To Know: It all counts
- Four Years of Podcasting Giveaway
- Lauren Gaines
- Twyla Franz
- Amber Palmer
- Katie Scott
- Mandy Pallock
- Marnie Hammar
- Kirk Freeman
- Jen Babakhan
- Yohonna Smith
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
It all counts. Every act the Lord asks you to do is valuable. He sees it all. It all matters. All the work given to you by God and done in love is meaningful.
I’m really good at discounting or downplaying the good ways God wired me, how He’s forming me through trials, and the work I do, the roles I hold, and how I show up in the world. And y’all, I believe that discounting is an effective - but totally flimsy - tactic of our enemy, who wants us quiet and isolated and stuck because we’re questioning our value and the goodness of God.
Y’all, Jesus sees it all. He delights in all the good you do in His name and out of love. He sees your sacrifice right now. He sees your heart trying to figure out life and how to love your people well. He knows your intentions, and God desires to help you every step of the way. All the work given to you by God and done in love is meaningful.
Mentioned in the podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry, there's no added cost to you!
- Four Years of Podcasting Giveaway
- Safe People by Drs. Townsend and Cloud
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194: What I Want You To Know: Grace and truth
- Lauren Gaines
- Twyla Franz
- Amber Palmer
- Katie Scott
- Mandy Pallock
- Marnie Hammar
- Kirk Freeman
- Jen Babakhan
- Yohonna Smith
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Our God is a God of grace and truth. But what does this mean for us in our busy and full lives? Listen to what it means for our God to be a God of AND.
If you’ve been around the Grace In Real Life podcast long enough, you’ve heard me share that our God is a God of AND:
- He’s grace AND truth
- Mercy AND holy justice
- Love AND perfect judgment
- Man of Sorrows AND Prince of Peace
- Offensive AND attractive
What does this concept of God’s AND-ness mean for our everyday, walking-around lives? This is good and true, but what do we do with it?
The reality that we love and worship our God of AND coupled with the truth that we are people of AND impacts three areas:
- How we work out our salvation
- How we live
- How we embrace our humanity
In today’s episode, you’ll learn about the grace and truth of our God, that: * The grace of salvation is to be received AND lived. * Christ-followers are not individualistic islands to ourselves but interwoven parts that create a whole. * Grace calls us higher; to see that life and that our own selves are more nuanced than we ever thought possible. To see that God’s ways are higher and bigger than we could ever imagine.
Mentioned in the podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry, there's no added cost to you!
- Four Years of Podcasting Giveaway
- The Rest of God by Mark Buchanan
- Prayer in the Night by Tish Harrison Warren
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
What is disciple-making? How do we do it? What does it look like to make disciples when your schedule is full? And how can you possibly disciple your teenagers?
When I really stop and think about it, going and making disciples sounds intimidating. How do I do it? What does it even look like? Is it One More Thing to add to my already full schedule?
But as today’s guest points out, disciple-making is as easy and light as enjoying and following Jesus and helping others enjoy and follow Jesus. Discipleship is a gift from Jesus that we get to receive. It’s not a “have to” situation; it’s a “look what I get to do with my Father” situation.
Because making disciples can feel big and weighty, I invited pastor and author Kirk Freeman to the show.
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths as you learn about how disciple-making relates to spiritual health. You’ll learn: * Starting points for disciple-making, * How to make disciples when you’re low on time, * And how to spiritually lead your teenager.
Mentioned in the podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry, there's no added cost to you!
- A Holy Hush
- Threads by Kirk Freeman
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70: Helping your kids enjoy Jesus with Kirk + Debbie Freeman [Grace in Parenting series]
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188: Spiritual Health: Moving from head to heart: How to experience God’s love with Dr. Curt Thompson
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189: Spiritual Health: How to be compassionate to yourself with Kendra Adachi
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190: Spiritual Health: How to honor God with Jordan Raynor
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191: Spiritual Health: The benefits of studying theology with Jen Wilkin
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192: Spiritual Health: The power of questions with Mandy Pallock
Here’s how to connect with Kirk Freeman * Instagram * Website * Threads by Kirk Freeman
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
When we were in college, Ryan gave me the nickname “The Interrogator” because I love asking questions. People are truly fascinating to me, and God gave us such an incredible world to discover, it seems impossible for me to not ask eleventybillion questions in a day.
But as today’s guest points out, if all we do is ask questions, we’re just delving into trivia instead of a person's heart.
Because asking and responding to questions is an art in which many of us would like to grow, I invited Mandy Pallock to the show.
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths as you use the power of questions to cultivate spiritual health. You’ll learn: * How questions draw you into deep community, * Why questions are powerful, * One pro tip on how to ask questions your kids will actually answer, * And a sure-fire question to kick-start any conversation.
Mentioned in the podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry, there's no added cost to you!
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188: Spiritual Health: Moving from head to heart: How to experience God’s love with Dr. Curt Thompson
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189: Spiritual Health: How to be compassionate to yourself with Kendra Adachi
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190: Spiritual Health: How to honor God with Jordan Raynor
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191: Spiritual Health: The benefits of studying theology with Jen Wilkin
- The Question Habit by Mandy Pallock
- A Holy Hush
Here’s how to connect with Mandy Pallock * Instagram * Website * Podcast
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
What are the benefits of studying theology? Isn’t theology for those in seminary or pastors? Do you need to study it? The truth is this: You are a theologian.
If you’re like me, you’re like, “Am I a theologian? I’m pretty sure theologians went to seminary and read ancient texts and write papers about abstract attributes of God. I’m pretty sure I’m not one.”
Through this conversation, Jen Wilkin will convince you of how you really, truly are a theologian in your right-now life and why that’s important for today’s world and generations to come. (Y’all, some of the stats Jen shares about what current evangelicals believe about basic Christian doctrine are shocking.)
If you’ve ever doubted that you’re a theologian, that it’s above your pay grade, that it’s all head-knowledge and no experience, or that it’s too academic for your liking, please listen to Jen’s wisdom on why theology matters in your everyday, busy and full life.
Theology may feel like a big topic, so I’m thankful Jen is here to walk us through the importance of it.
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths as you learn how to honor God. You’ll learn: * What theology is, * What are first-tier theological issues, * What to do (and not do!) when you disagree with someone on a theological point, * And the value of having theological conversations with our brothers in Christ.
Mentioned in the podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry, there's no added cost to you!
- You Are a Theologian by J.T. English and Jen Wilkin
- Inductive Bible Study
- Knowing Faith podcast
- R.C. Sproul
- Systemic Theology by Louis Berkof
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188: Spiritual Health: Moving from head to heart: How to experience God’s love with Dr. Curt Thompson
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189: Spiritual Health: How to be compassionate to yourself with Kendra Adachi
- #190: Spiritual Health: How to honor God with Jordan Raynor
Here’s how to connect with Jen Wilkin * Instagram * Website * Podcast
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
We’re talking about becoming spiritually healthy by recognizing how sacred our work is – no matter what we do – and how our work matters for eternity.
Some of you might hear that and think, “But I’m not in full-time ministry. I’m not a missionary or on a church’s staff or recording a worship album. How is my work sacred?” Or maybe you think, “Well, maybe my work is important because it’s where I get to share the gospel.”
I hope you receive the light Jordan sheds on how important your work is – whether you’re a spiritual director or a teacher’s aide, whether you’re a women’s ministry leader or a hairstylist, whether you’re a speaker or a marketing coordinator.
Work – done in partnership with God – is the oldest spiritual discipline there is, and it’s one we don’t talk much about. I deeply want you to know that God created the concept of work before sin ever entered the world and that your work is tied to the redemptive power of the gospel of Jesus. I hope you are freed from feeling as if your work is only important if you’re sharing the gospel and fulfilling the Great Commission.
Friends, Jordan and I believe in the power and importance of the Great Commission. People come to a relationship with Jesus because someone who knows Jesus tells them about Jesus.
And also, so often, we feel the weight or obligation or guilt because we don’t share the gospel in every interaction we have.
What would it be like to know that God designed you to participate in the Great Commission AND His command to us to fill and subdue the earth, to participate in creating good and useful and beautiful things with Him?
How free would you feel to know that the work you’re doing right now matters for all eternity, and it makes God smile when you partner with Him in that work – whether you evangelized today or not?
What would it be like to only feel free to do the good works God prepared in advance for you to do before the creation of the world?
How loud would you exhale if you remembered the beautiful gift that is Sabbath rest?
Jordan and I talk about the beauty, sacredness, and eternal value of our work, whether it’s prosecuting human traffickers, teaching at cosmetology school, writing grants, or selling real estate.
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths as you learn how to honor God. You’ll learn: * four ways your work matters for eternity, * what to do when the Great Commission feels heavy, * and why Sabbath is good for your soul and goals.
Mentioned in the podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry, there's no added cost to you!
- Redeeming Your Time by Jordan Raynor
- The Sacredness of Secular Work by Jordan Raynor
- Enneagram Three
- Sabbath
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188: Spiritual Health: Moving from head to heart: How to experience God’s love with Dr. Curt Thompson
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189: Spiritual Health: How to be compassionate to yourself with Kendra Adachi
Here’s how to connect with Jordan Raynor * Instagram * Website * Podcast
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Have you ever wondered how to be compassionate to yourself? What would it look like to live in grace? Listen to Kendra Adachi on Grace In Real Life.
This entire podcast is predicated on answering the question, “How do we live in and give out grace in our busy and full lives?” And one of the most generous, practical, action-oriented grace-girls I know is The Lazy Genius, Kendra Adachi.
Kendra believes and practices self-compassion, contentedness, rest, and grace. Because living in grace and from grace is a bit tricky for those of us who love a to-do list and efficiency, Kendra joins the show.
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths as you learn how to be compassionate to yourself. You’ll learn: * how to be compassionate to yourself while getting stuff done, * one simple way to halt comparison * and naming what matters
Mentioned in the podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry, there's no added cost to you!
- The Lazy Genius Way by Kendra Adachi
- The Lazy Genius Kitchen by Kendra Adachi
- Enneagram One
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188: Spiritual Health: Moving from head to heart: How to experience God’s love with Dr. Curt Thompson
Here’s how to connect with Kendra Adachi * Instagram * Website * Podcast
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
If we do not know Jesus' love on a deeply personal level and encounter His love in our busy and full, real lives, then the spiritual disciplines devolve into legalism and empty works. Without recognizing how much we are loved and cared for, everything else we do in that relationship is a striving attempt to be loved.
Because experiencing God’s love for us is a gift we want to receive AND struggle with experiencing, I’ve invited Dr. Curt Thompson to join the show.
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths as we process moving God’s love from head to heart. You’ll learn: * How to move Jesus’s love for you from your head down to your heart * How to experience grace in your real life, * How solitude soothes your soul. * And one simple exercise to help you pay attention to what you’re paying attention to.
Mentioned in the podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry, there's no added cost to you!
- The Chosen
- Into the Silent Land by Martin Laird
- The Deepest Place by Dr. Curt Thompson
- Anatomy of the Soul by Dr. Curt Thompson
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97: Spiritual Health: Studying the Bible with Amber Palmer
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98: Spiritual Health: Praying to connect with the heart of Christ with Kimberly Coyle
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99: Spiritual Health: Celebrating Sabbath with Mark Buchanan
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100: Spiritual Health: Imitating Christ as we suffer with author K.J. Ramsey
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101: Spiritual Health: Hearing from God for freedom with Jennifer Barnett
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144: Spiritual Health: Paying attention with Anjuli Paschall
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145: Spiritual Health: Spending time with Jesus with Arabah Joy and Jen Evangelista
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146: Spiritual Health: Embracing a lifestyle of rest with Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith
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147: One ridiculously easy way to spread the gospel with Twyla Franz
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148: Easy ways to study the Word of God every woman can use w/Portia Collins
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149: How to find community: 3 easy places to find it with Rachael Wade
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150: Questions to ask God, yourself, and others w/Lore Ferguson Wilbert
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151: Cultivating a life of prayer with Asheritah Ciuciu
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152: Pouring out your heart to the Lord with Jennifer Dukes Lee
Here’s how to connect with Dr. Curt Thompson * Instagram * Website * Podcast * The Center for Being Known
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
How can you start the new year with grace? What does that look like? Whether you’re starting a new year, a new job, or a new season, listen in.
May we not be women who squash or silence this gift, but may we be women who partner with Christ to become new in the ways He wants to shape and form us.
To that end, I’ve curated past Grace In Real Life episodes and resources in one place just for you. When you want to embrace newness in practical and actionable ways, come here and find what you need.
We’re breaking down how to give yourself grace in the new year into three categories:
- Let’s get back to the fundamentals
- When you’re ready to set goals
- When you walk into the new year tired
Let’s get back to the fundamentals
- Episode 153: What is Grace?
- Episode 50: Preparing Your Heart for the New Year
- Episode 64: How to Declutter Your Soul and Renew Your Heart with author and interior designer Valerie Griffin
When you’re ready to set goals
- What if you weren’t bullied by your goals?
- Episode #88: What to do when you fear naming what you want
- Episode #52: How your Enneagram type impacts your goals
When you walk into the new year tired
- Episode #46: When you just want to put on your comfy pants and disengage with people
- Episode #48: Kind words and truth for the woman tired at the end of the year
- Episode #55: Productivity, Exhaustion, and Balancing Your Passions with Christa Hutchins
Bonus resources for how to start the new year with grace
- Episode #79: Grief, grace, and hope when you enter a new season
- Gentle questions to ask yourself as you end the year + start anew
- Five resources to help you assess you
Here’s how to connect with Jill
- Website
- GraceInRealLifePodcast.com
- Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Have you ever wondered how to have peace with God? Or how you can live in peace with others? If your life lacks peace and you’re looking for encouragement, listen in.
In today’s Advent episode, we take a look at what it means to be at peace with God and others.
How to have peace with God Once sin entered the world, we humans were at war with God. Not that God was at war with us, but that we chose our way over His, our thoughts over His, our agenda over His. And there was no peace in the hearts of people.
So, God, in His goodness, made a way for peace to be restored between us. The Lord’s plan since Genesis 3:15 is to reconcile us to Himself through His Son. His Son, Jesus, came at just the right time in history. He was born to the right parents In the right town with just the right visitors: shepherds and wise men.
Our Savior was placed in a cradle by His mother and sent to the cross by His Father at just the perfect time.
Jesus’s birth is tied to blessing. His blessing is found in His death and resurrection. And in His salvation, we find our peace. For those who know Jesus as their Savior, we are now at peace with God.
As Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry, there's no added cost to you! * #144: Spiritual Health: Paying attention with Anjuli Paschall * #183: Advent: We have hope * #184: Advent: Faith: How do we exercise our faith? * #185: Advent: Joy: Finding joy in the little things
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
In today’s Advent episode, we take a look at how the shepherds found joy in the middle of their everyday, right now lives.
How to find joy in the little things For there to always remain in your life some place for the singing of angels, you do not need an angelic visit.
Perhaps to make space for the singing of angels means to do the work God specifically created you to do, at the time He gave you to do it, to be open to the possibility of wonder and miracle, to go and see Jesus for yourself, to tell others about what you’ve experienced, and to return to your real life, making much of Jesus.
As Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry, there's no added cost to you! * #183: Advent: We have hope * #184: Advent: Faith: How do we exercise our faith?
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
How do we exercise our faith? What does it look like to have embodied faith? What does living out our faith look like in real life? Listen in.
In today’s Advent episode, we take a look at Mary’s faith journey.
How do we exercise our faith? Faith starts in the mind with knowledge about God, facts about His character and understanding who He is and what He can do.
Then faith moves into consent: We intellectually agree with the facts we know and the reality we understand, and then consent takes root in the soil of our hearts.
Finally, faith takes the form of commitment, of application, of action, of obedience.
Faith is always fruitful, and faith will not be quiet. For Mary, her faith produced the fruit of a firstborn Son. Her faith could not be quiet as she screamed in the night at the delivery of her Son.
As Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry, there's no added cost to you! * #89: Reduce Christmas stress with these sanity-saving tips customized for your Enneagram type * #90: When all doesn’t feel merry + bright * #91: How to slow down without opting out with Jodi Grubbs * #92: Our God of tables and togetherness * #93: Navigating family dynamics during the holidays with Licensed Professional Counselor Wendy Barnes * #138: Gift ideas for every Enneagram type * #139: ‘Tis the Season: Ask a Counselor: Holiday Gatherings Edition with LPC Sara Peters
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
We have hope because God is the Author of our story, and we are not. We have hope because we are not alone. We have hope because Jesus is the protagonist of our story.
We have hope because God is the Author The Author and Finisher of our faith is the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The Word is Jesus, and the language the Author speaks is Christ.
When God spoke and wrote the story of redemption, His speech wasn’t in the mode of sentences or nouns or verbs or articles or predicates. The language He spoke in the New Covenant was Jesus.
We have hope because we are not alone God. Is writing. Your. Story. And in the story God writes for you, you are not the only character in your story. You do not walk alone. Heaven is cheering you on right now. Can you hear it? Listen to the great crowd of witnesses who surround you right now.
We have hope because Jesus is the protagonist of our story But perhaps the best part of your story is that you are not the protagonist of it. Jesus is. Jesus is the protagonist. The victor. The firstborn. And this is our hope.
As Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry, there's no added cost to you! * #94: Advent: The Lord is coming! * #95: Advent: The story of Mary + Joseph * #96: Advent: The shepherds + the wise men * #140: Advent: Hope * #141: Advent: Faith * #142: Advent: Joy * #143: Advent: Peace
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
What does it mean to take up space? Do you have a fear of taking up space? Do you want to be seen as low maintenance? Listen in.
Taking up space means to be more than furniture; to be human. In the words of Pinocchio to be “a real boy.” It means to kindly and directly – without apology or embarrassment – share needs, wants, preferences, and dreams.
Friends, God created you to take up space.
We are allowed to take up space. To be human means that our physical body, emotions, thoughts, and spirit take up space.
It is impossible to be a human and not take up square footage. Taking up space is part of God’s design.
So when you fear taking up space, it means you fear sharing what troubles and worries rumble in your heart, or what gifts and work light you up.
Fearing taking up space might come out in phrases like, “Whatever is easiest for you” or “Oh, I don’t care” when you really do care.
In terms of how we feel about taking up space, we fall into one of three buckets.
- “It’s natural” bucket
- “It’s uncomfortable” bucket
- “It’s totally fine, but then when I do, I regret it” bucket
No matter what bucket you fall into, you may fear taking up space because: * You’ve done it in the past; it didn’t go well, so you vowed never to do it again. * Or you’ve misunderstood scripture about what it means to deny and die to self, * Or you desperately do not want to be seen as selfish.
Our enemy has done a heck of a job convincing God’s girls that taking up space is a bad thing.
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths for remembering grace overcomes fear and that you do not need to fear taking up space. You’ll learn: * what it means to take up space, * how you feel about taking up space, * why you fear taking up space, * and what God says.
Mentioned in the podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you! * #135: When you worry you’re selfish * #168: Grace is forgiving yourself and others with Jen Barnett * #179: Grace Over Fear: When you feel embarrassed by your tears * #180: Grace Over Fear: When you avoid the discomfort of grief with Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young * #181: Grace Over Fear: When you fear being vulnerable with Jamie Ivey * The Deepest Place by Dr. Curt Thompson
Resources that weren’t directly quoted but influenced this episode * First Freedoms by Jen Barnett * This Instagram post * How we tragically misunderstand Jesus’ command to deny ourselves by Jill E. McCormick * The high cost of being low maintenance by Jill E. McCormick
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Why is it hard to be vulnerable? What are the characteristics of a safe person? If you fear being vulnerable but want to try, listen to Jamie Ivey.
Being vulnerable with safe people in the midst of your mess is a sacred space. Saying “I’m struggling too” is a saint’s cry.
Wherever you struggle today, Whether it’s struggling with sin and temptation, a hard season in your marriage, or doubting God’s goodness and sovereignty in the midst of a cancer diagnosis, God longs for you to tell Him about it – to be vulnerable with Him and to share it with a sister in Christ.
But many of us – for very valid reasons – are skittish and reticent to be vulnerable.
I can think of no one better to cheer us on toward vulnerability than today’s guest, Jamie Ivey.
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths to answer the question, “Why is it hard to be vulnerable?”. You’ll learn: * why we don’t want to be vulnerable, * six characteristics of a safe person, * what to do when you suffer from a vulnerability hangover, * and three questions to ask when you’re ready to be vulnerable.
Mentioned in the podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you! * #179: Grace Over Fear: When you feel embarrassed by your tears * #180: Grace Over Fear: What is grief? with Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young * Netlix’s Quarterback * If You Only Knew by Jamie Ivey
Here’s how to connect with Jamie Ivey * Instagram * Website * Podcast * YouTube Facebook
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Even today, I imagine you experienced grief.
- Perhaps you’re back at work, even though you loved staying at home
- Or you miss your daughter, who’s off at college
- Or a friend has stood you up and blocked you out, and you feel unsettled by the loss.
- Or you are so sad about your pet who has passed away,
- Or maybe you’re grieving your spouse or parent who is slowly slipping away because of a diagnosis.
Today, I’m grieving that the rhythms and routines I once held dear are met with sighs or a jam-packed schedule. (For any parent of a marching band or club sport kid, you know what I’m talking about!)
Whatever you grieve today, God meets you there. As the God of all comfort, He longs to comfort you. But many of us feel squeamish about grief. We don’t want to talk about our loss. Or what hurts.
We prefer to get busy, push down, numb out, or power through. Are we even allowed to be sad when God promised He’d work all things out for good? As Americans and as Christian women, many of us have an aversion to grief. Most of us don’t want to have anything to do with it.
And also, this side of heaven, grief is a part of daily life.
I can think of no one better to speak about entering into grief despite our fear than today’s guest, Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young.
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths for navigating grief. You’ll learn: * What we fear about grief, * Why we avoid it, * Where God meets us in our sadness and sorrow, * And four ways to be a grace-giving friend to someone who is grieving.
Mentioned in the podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you! * #44: Real-life grace for the Enneagram Seven with Dorina Gilmore * #179: Grace Over Fear: When you feel embarrassed by your tears * Breathing Through Grief by Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young * Chasing God’s Glory by Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young
Here’s how to connect with Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young * Website * Instagram * Pinterest * Facebook
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Have you ever felt embarrassed by your tears? What is going on when we do not like to cry in front of others? Listen in.
If Jesus wept, if Jesus calls us to suffer with those who suffer and weep with those who weep, why do we fear crying so much?
The reality is that as much as we hate crying, most of us cry relatively often. As image-bearers, we resonate deeply with Jesus as the Man of Sorrows. We cry because we feel so deeply that words cannot convey our grief and heartbreak.
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths for remembering grace overcomes fear and that you do not need to be embarrassed by your tears. You’ll learn:
- what we do when we cry in front of others,
- why many of us are so averse to crying,
- how our enemy leverages our fear of this vulnerability,
- and what God says.
Mentioned in the podcast
The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!
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86: Your Enneagram type’s biggest fear and God-centered habits for peace
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87: Navigating the fear that your kids will miss out
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88: What to do when you fear naming what you want
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135: When you worry you’re selfish
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136: When you believe you’re messing up your kids
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137: When asking for help feels like The Worst
Here’s how to connect with Jill
- Website
- GraceInRealLifePodcast.com
- Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
How happy is your marriage? How can you have a happier marriage? Listen to Arlene Pellicane as she shares how to be a happier wife.
You’re listening to this episode because you want a happier marriage. Your marriage may be super happy and full of joy, and you want to increase it. Or, your marriage may feel like it’s on its last breath, and you are so ready for Jesus to breathe laughter and smiling and hope back into your relationship.
You and Jesus and your spouse know where you are in your marriage. And here’s what I know: I know that God’s heart for your marriage is for it to be a reflection of how Christ loves the church.
As children of God, our inheritance includes peace, hope, joy, and life. Not just for when you get to heaven, but for right now, in your real life.
God wants these gifts for you as an individual and also for marriage. So, how do we tap into these God-given gifts? What do we do if we are more interested in investing in our marriage than our husbands? How can we become happier wives with happier husbands?
I can think of no one better to speak about becoming happier in marriage than today’s guest, Arlene Pellicane.
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths for offering grace in your marriage by learning how to have a happier marriage. You’ll learn: * How to determine if you have a happy marriage, * One way to become a happier wife TODAY, * And what to do when you want to improve your marriage but your husband has checked out.
Mentioned in the podcast for how to have a happier marriage The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you! * 31 Days to a Happy Husband by Arlene Pellicane * 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Wife by Arlene Pellicane * Twelve Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson * Praying for Your Husband from Head to Toe by Sharon Jaynes * Atomic Habits by James Clear
Here’s how to connect with Arlene Pellicane * Website * Podcast * Instagram * YouTube * Facebook
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
You don’t want to leave your marriage to chance. You want to design an intentional marriage, but how? Listen to Kevin Thompson in today's episode
My marriage isn’t perfect. Ryan and I aren’t perfect. We struggle and get frustrated with each other. AND ALSO, we work on the relationship that we have.
We are bound and determined to remember that before we were mom and dad, we were Ryan and Jill, two fun, Jesus-loving people who thought the other person was too awesome to get away.
As much as we’ve messed up, we are also devoted to being intentional with each other and our relationship. Intentional about chatting about our days and stressors after the girls have gone to bed. Intentional about hanging out together doing something fun.
Intentional about dreaming about the future when we are empty nesters.
I can think of no one better to speak about being intentional and designing your marriage on purpose than today’s guest, Kevin A. Thompson.
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths for receiving grace by learning how to design an intentional marriage. You’ll learn: * How to create the marriage you want, * Three questions to help you figure out how healthy your marriage is, * And how to move toward a healthy marriage.
Mentioned in the podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you! * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email * #69: How to lead your family with love, not fear with Kevin A. Thompson [Grace in Parenting series] * Stay in Your Lane by Kevin A. Thompson * Friends, Partners, and Lovers by Kevin A. Thompson * ChangeTheOdds.com * Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson * The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman
Here’s how to connect with Kevin A. Thompson * Website * Instagram
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Have you ever wondered how the Enneagram can improve your marriage? Listen to Beth McCord as she breaks down how to use this tool.
You don’t need me to tell you that seeing the same situation through a different lens can cause friction. So what do we do with this? How do we grow in our marriages without getting super annoyed at someone who sees life differently?
I can think of no one better to speak about offering grace in marriage than today’s guest, Beth McCord.
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths for receiving grace by learning how the Enneagram can improve your marriage. You’ll learn: * Four ways the Enneagram can help your marriage, * How the messages you picked up in childhood impact your marriage today, * And how the Enneagram helps in conflict.
Mentioned in the podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you! * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email * Becoming Us by Jeff + Beth McCord * Becoming Us course * Free download of Core Motivations
Here’s how to connect with Beth McCord * Website * Instagram * Podcast * YouTube
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
I feel like I’m the poster child for the sentiment, “I’m fine. It’s fine. Everything’s fine,” when clearly it is not.
Friend, I cannot tell you how much energy I spend avoiding pain, trying to make the bad, hard thing disappear, or pretending it’s all okay.
But what if the most gracious, most life-giving gift we can give ourselves today is to acknowledge that we are struggling, that everything is not fine, that we need the Lord, and we need His people, our people?
Perhaps we need to quit outrunning the pain, so we can run into the arms of Christ.
What does it look like to acknowledge we’re struggling while still living our life of work, carpool pick-up, volunteering, caring for our parents, and late-night band practice?
I can think of no one better to speak about this than today’s guest, Katie Schnack.
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths for receiving grace by acknowledging everything is not fine. You’ll learn: * Why it’s hard to take off your game-face, * When you trust the Lord AND struggle in your circumstances, * And six ways to rewrite what it means to be “strong.”
Mentioned in the podcast ###### The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!
- Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
- Skill Set Giveaway
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170: Skill Set: How to be playful with Courtney Ellis
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171: Skill Set: Setting boundaries for yourself with LPC Shundria Riddick
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172: Skill Set: How to build faith and trust in God with Maleah Stephens
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173: Skill Set: What makes a good listener with Becky Harling
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174: Skill Set: Taking your thoughts captive with Lauren Gaines
- To Light Their Way by Kayla Craig
- Everything is (Not) Fine by Katie Schnack
Here’s how to connect with Katie Schnack * Website * Instagram
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Y’all, our world feels crazy and seems to get crazier by the year. Our children experience questions and come up against worldviews we never had to face at their age.
As much as I want to be an ostrich and bury my head in the sand, I refuse to do that to my girls. I want to be mentally tough in the Lord. I want to combat lies with truth. I don’t want to be apathetic or resigned, but strong and courageous because I know the truth that my God is good.
So, how do we become resilient and emotionally healthy moms? How can we raise brave and unshakable kids? What does it look like to stand firm and courageous in a world gone mad?
I can think of no one better to speak about this than today’s guest, Lauren Gaines.
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths for giving grace by taking your thoughts captive. You’ll learn: * six ways to deescalate a negative thought, * how to practically take thoughts captive in real-time, * and seven lies moms can believe.
Mentioned in the podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you! * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email * #170: Skill Set: How to be playful with Courtney Ellis * #171: Skill Set: Setting boundaries for yourself with LPC Shundria Riddick * #172: Skill Set: How to build faith and trust in God with Maleah Stephens * #173: Skill Set: What makes a good listener with Becky Harling * Unshakable Kids by Lauren Gaines
Here’s how to connect with Lauren Gaines * Website * Instagram * Facebook
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
The first words in the Bible speak of the cosmos hearing God’s spoken words and obeying: “And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.”
At the heart of Israel’s prayer life is God’s call to listen in Deuteronomy 6:4: “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.” The writers of the Psalms ask God to listen to them and then write how He hears them and acts. As God’s sheep, we hear His voice; because we listen, we follow Him.
So, yes, listening is important to God. It is vital to our relationship with Him and with others.
And also, our lives are full, so time to listen is hard to come by. Our hearts long to teach and correct – which are good and certainly have their place – but sometimes people just want to be heard. Our brains are so full of distractions about deadlines, upcoming events, and the logistics of our schedule that sometimes it’s hard to stay focused on what the person right in front of us is saying.
So if we want to become more and more like Christ, and Christ is someone who listens, how do we grow in this skill?
I can think of no one better to talk about how to listen than today’s guest, Becky Harling.
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths for giving grace by becoming a better listener: * How to tell if you’re a good listener, * What it means to “listen to your heart,” * Four ways to get your teenager to talk with you, * And help when you long to fix or offer solutions when someone shares a struggle.
Mentioned in the podcast ###### The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!
- Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
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101: Spiritual Health: Hearing from God for freedom with Jennifer Barnett
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170: Skill Set: How to be playful with Courtney Ellis
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171: Skill Set: Setting boundaries for yourself with LPC Shundria Riddick
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172: Skill Set: How to build faith and trust in God with Maleah Stephens
- How to Listen so People Will Talk by Becky Harling
- How to Listen so Your Kids Will Talk by Becky Harling
Here’s how to connect with Becky Harling * Website * Instagram * Facebook
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
As a Grace In Real Life podcast listener, you want to grow in your faith and become more and more like Christ, but how do you do that? In your hardest moments, in the most mundane, what does it look like to trust the Lord?
I can think of no one better to share about how to trust the Lord in shaky circumstances than today’s guest, Maleah Stephens.
Maleah’s story is one of bold faith, love, survival, and hope. Her’s is the story of hearing that her firstborn had a congenital heart defect that would cost her unborn son his life without medical intervention. Maleah had a choice: faith or fear. Guess which one she picked?
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths for receiving grace by answering the question, “how to build faith and trust in God.” We walk through: * Experiencing peace when your future is shaken, * How thankfulness builds your faith, * And when you trust the Lord and still fear.
Mentioned in the podcast * Ridiculously Hopeful by Maleah Stephens * The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson * “I Raise a Hallelujah” song * Alabama vs. Texas A&M field goal video
Here’s how to connect with Maleah Stephens * Website * Instagram * Facebook
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
If you’re anything like me, you’re like, “I’m not sure I need to listen to this episode. I don’t feel like I struggle with setting boundaries.” As a 47-year-old, I know my strengths and weaknesses, I invest in emotionally healthy people, and I don’t get sucked into drama or volunteering.
And also… I wonder about the Bible’s call to help others and sacrifice myself with the reality that I get burned out and overwhelmed.
I often fear turning down an opportunity because I don’t want people to think I’m dispensable or easily replaced.
I may feel confident setting boundaries but struggle to enforce them when confronted with the needs of those I know are genuinely struggling.
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths for receiving grace by setting boundaries for yourself. We walk through: * When saying “no” feels unkind, * Six ways to set healthy boundaries, * And one truth when you’re exhausted from helping everyone else.
Mentioned in the podcast Anatomy of the Soul by Curt Thompson
Here’s how to connect with LPC Shundria Riddick * Website * Instagram * Facebook
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
You may be hard-wired for efficiency, effectiveness, and checking tasks off the list.
Being playful and silly and giving into whimsy is not your strong suit. We have fun AFTER we work. But the work is never done, and fun is the first to go when our calendar is full.
And yet… when we don’t play, when we don’t laugh, when we don’t lighten up, seriousness scrunches up our souls. And it seems as if playfulness is the only way out and back to our true, God-made self.
So how can we become more playful? How can you reconnect to your soul and with God?
If you’ve ever felt like you used to be fun but aren’t fun anymore OR that your schedule is too full and you’re too tired to think of being playful, this short episode is for you.
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths for receiving grace by learning how to be playful. We walk through: * Two ways to reconnect to what brings you joy, * Ten invitations to playfulness – so you can pick one– * And one easy way to leverage what you’re already doing so you can have more fun without making it A Thing.
Mentioned in the podcast * Fathom Mag * Happy Now by Courtney Ellis * The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson * East of Eden by John Steinbeck
Here’s how to connect with Courtney Ellis * Website * Podcast * Instagram * Twitter * Facebook
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
PLEASE KNOW: This is the last podcast until August 2023. Grace In Real Life is taking a break in July 2023.
What does it mean for God to tend to your heart? How does God comfort you in real life? How does God heal our hurting hearts?
I’ll never forget the first time I heard the phrase, “Allow the Lord to tend to your heart.” A friend of mine said it, and I was like, What is she talking about? What does that even mean?
I’ve pondered that phrase for six years now: What does it mean for the Lord to tend to a heart? What in our hearts needs tending? How does He do it?
For me, it means receiving the compassion and kindness the Lord offers as I struggle with the sting of sin, the wounds from others, and the trials of being a human on planet Earth.
Today’s guest sheds so much biblical truth and light on this grace-giving concept.
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths for receiving grace by finding comfort in the Lord. We walk through: * What it means for God to tend to your heart, * How God comforts us in real life, * And what stunts spiritual growth.
Mentioned in the podcast * #167: Grace is: Receiving grace by bringing it all into the light * #168: Grace is: Receiving grace through forgiveness and healing with Jennifer Barnett * Resources to find a Christian counselor * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email * Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership by Ruth Haley Barton * Open Hands, Willing Heart by Vivian Mabuni * Warrior in Pink by Vivian Mabuni * Voices of Lament compilation
Here’s how to connect with Vivian Mabuni * Website * Instagram * Facebook * Podcast
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
What is forgiveness, really? Is it something more than feeling like we should apologize? Is it more than just saying we forgive someone who hurt us even when we don’t want to at all?
Forgiving others and asking for forgiveness are ground zero for receiving grace. Because isn’t the Lord’s forgiving of our sins the ultimate gift of grace? Forgiveness is foundational to our understanding of what it means to receive and live from grace.
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths for receiving grace through forgiveness and healing. We walk through: * What forgiveness is – and what it is not, * The 3 steps of biblical forgiveness, * And 3 clues you’re holding onto unforgiveness.
Mentioned in the podcast * #101: Spiritual Health: Hearing from God for freedom with Jennifer Barnett * First Freedoms by Jennifer Barnett
Here’s how to connect with Freedom Prayer * Website * Instagram * Facebook
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
We know there are no formulas, AND we also know God gives instructions and has a teacher’s heart. The Lord wants to give humans practices and principles to make the theoretical and theological practical and applicable.
Which is how this series came to be.
How does one go about receiving the grace God so freely offers?
Every believer has access to God’s grace and the tools and ability to receive it when we:
- Bring our hurts, sins, emotions, dreams, and needs into the light
- Forgive and ask for forgiveness
- Allow the Lord to tend our hearts.
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths as you receive grace by bringing it all into the light. We walk through: * What you can bring into the light, * How to do it, * And what it looks like in real life.
Mentioned in the podcast #88: What to do when you fear naming what you want [Fear Series]
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Raising teens with anxiety is one tough assignment. How can you tell the difference between anxiety and worry?
Anxiety, worry, stress, learning what you like, what you don’t, and what you believe and what you don’t is a part of becoming an adult.
However, as Christ-following mamas, we don’t want anxiety to have the final say about our kids. We know our God offers all of us – teens included – a spirit of peace, but how do we access that when we’re living real-life in real-time?
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths as you’re raising teens with anxiety. Dr. Chinwé shares: * How to tell the difference between anxiety and worry, * Three signs its time to bring in a professional to help with your teen’s anxiety, * And six lies anxiety tells us and the truths to counteract them.
Mentioned in the podcast * #161: Grace in Parenting: Practical strategies for the overwhelmed mom with Crystal Paine * #162: Grace in Parenting: Loving your wayward child well with Mary DeMuth * #163: Grace in Parenting: Following your passions in ministry while parenting with Katie Scott * #164: Grace in Parenting: Raising boys with Marnie Hammar * #165: Grace in Parenting: Raising godly daughters with Susay Seay * Beyond the Spiral by Will Hutcherson and Dr. Chinwé Williams * Seen by Will Hutcherson and Dr. Chinwé Williams * Feelings wheel * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email * How to leave a rating or review
Here’s how to connect with Dr. Chinwé Williams * Website * Instagram * Facebook
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Raising godly daughters – how does a mom do it? How can you raise confident daughters? Listen in to Episode 165 with Susan Seay as we talk about grace-based parenting for moms raising girls.
Girl-moms, let us continue to partner with Jesus as we raise confident women, who love the Lord, who know who God created them to be, and who speak life, not gossip, into their friendship circles. May we be girl-moms who raise women who hold fast to the truth of who they are beloved, cherished, seen, and cared for by their Heavenly Father.
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths as you’re in the middle of raising godly daughters. Susan shares: * how to raise your daughter to be who God created her to be, * how to help her cultivate a healthy body image * and how to move away from lecturing and toward listening.
Mentioned in the podcast * #132: Grace-based Friendship: Making friends as an adult with Susan Seay * Susan’s Intentional Parent Card Set * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email * How to leave a rating or review
Here’s how to connect with Susan Seay * Website * Instagram * Facebook * Podcast
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Raising boys is a gift, privilege, and challenge. How can you raise your sons to be responsible? How you can connect with your son when you have different personalities? Listen in to Episode 164 with Marnie Hammar as we talk about grace-based parenting for moms raising boys.
We need boy-moms who are speaking truth and life into their sons, who are raising boys who will become men who lead in our country, community, and home, and who love Jesus and their people.
Thank you, boy-moms, who are raising sons who respect women and know right from wrong.
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths as you’re in the middle of raising boys. Marnie shares: * The joys and challenges of raising boys, * How to connect with your son, * And training your son to take ownership and responsibility.
Mentioned in the podcast * Episode 7: What the Enneagram is, what it isn’t, and why it’s important to your spiritual growth * Marnie’s article in Joyful Life Magazine * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email * How to leave a rating or review
Here’s how to connect with Marnie Hammar * Website * Instagram
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
How can we balance motherhood and ministry? Is it possible to follow your passions and be a mom? How can you handle mom guilt as you work in ministry? Listen in to Episode 163 with Katie Scott as we talk about grace-based parenting for those in ministry.
You’re a mom. You're also in ministry, whether that’s by being on staff at your church, leading a Bible study at home, writing a book, or volunteering on Sunday mornings. How can balance motherhood with ministry? What do we do with the mom guilt that comes when we feel like our family gets our leftovers?
Mom, there is hope. This question is not new, and we can walk you through it. Listen to this episode with Katie Scott.
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths as you follow your passions for ministry and being a mom. Katie shares: * Three ways to balance ministry and motherhood, * What to do when your child grows bitter about church because you work at one, * And four simple and powerful ways to combat spiritual opposition.
Mentioned in the podcast * Episode #35: Real-life grace for the Enneagram Three with Rebecca Peet * #88: What to do when you fear naming what you want [Fear Series] * #150: Questions to ask God, yourself, and others w/Lore Ferguson Wilbert * #136: Grace vs. Fear: When you believe you’re messing up your kids * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email * How to leave a rating or review
Here’s how to connect with Katie Scott * Website * Instagram * Facebook
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
What is a wayward child? How do we love that adult child well when they continually make unwise choices? As parents, we have dreams and plans for our children, and those can come crashing down. What do we do with the expectations we hold about how our kids will turn out when they blindside us with the choices they make?
Mom, there is hope. Do not give up on your child. Listen to this episode with Mary DeMuth.
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths as you parent a wayward child. Mary shares: * What to do when your children’s choices don’t match your expectations for them, * How to lower the volume on your inner critic when your child is making poor choices, * And how to find community when your child’s struggle feels like it's isolating you.
Mentioned in the podcast * #108: Skill Set: Processing grief when you’d rather avoid it with Katie Rössler * #152: Pouring out your heart to the Lord with Jennifer Dukes Lee * Love. Pray. Listen. By Mary DeMuth * Abuelita Faith by Kat Armas * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email * How to leave a rating or review
Here’s how to connect with Mary DeMuth * Website * Instagram * Podcast * Twitter * Facebook
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Are you an overwhelmed mom? Are you struggling with a long to-do list? What are practical strategies + anchoring truths when you feel exhausted? Listen in for grace-based parenting help.
As a mom, you juggle so much: the family calendar, the emotional needs of your people, caring for yourself, running a household, and working. How can you enjoy your life and accomplish what matters most when there is so much to do?
What would it look like to not be the victim of your calendar? How would it feel to be intentional about doing what matters most? Is it possible to not feel exhausted as you parent? Listen to this episode with Crystal Paine.
In today’s episode, you’ll receive practical strategies and anchoring truths when you’re an overwhelmed mom. Crystal Paine breaks down: * How to rest in God’s love when you have so much stuff to do, * Easy ways to leverage what you’re doing so you live an intentional life, * And practical tips on how to organize your time.
If you’d like to learn more grace for the overwhelmed mom, check these out: * #73: Encouraging truths about you, the myth of “Good Mom” and God’s grace * #85: Get Unstuck: Mom Guilt * #122: Grace in Parenting: Parenting in our brokenness with Monet Carpenter * #136: Grace vs. Fear: When you believe you’re messing up your kids
Mentioned in the podcast * #152: Pouring out your heart to the Lord with Jennifer Dukes Lee * Jon Acuff * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email * How to leave a rating or review
Here’s how to connect with Crystal Paine * Website * Instagram * Podcast
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
How to fight racism is a question we want and need to answer. What can you do about racism? How can you make a difference? Listen in.
Racism is hurting real people right now. Racism is hurting your brothers + sisters in Christ at this exact moment. Racism should make your skin boil because it is not God's plan for His people.
So, what do you do? Where can you start? I mean, you're one person, what difference can you make? If you're wondering how you can become an antiracist, give Episode 160 with Jenny Booth Potter a listen.
In today’s episode, you’ll learn about how to fight racism. Jenny Booth Pottersbreaks down: * What antiracism is, * How to begin your antiracism journey, * And how to fight racism right where you are.
If you’d like to learn more talking about race with grace, check these out: * #8: Grace in tragedy and injustice * #53: Delete + Reset: Race, Racism, and Your Role in Racial Reconciliation with Dr. Lucretia Berry * #158: Talking about race with grace with Michelle Ami Reyes * #159: How to cultivate interracial friendship with Torrie Sorge
Mentioned in the podcast * Semicolon book store * The Color of Law by Richard Rothstein * Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? By Beverly Daniel Tatum
Here’s how to connect with Jenny Booth Potter * Website * Instagram
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
How to cultivate interracial friendship is a question we hold. How do we build friendships with people who don’t look like we do? What are do’s and don’ts in conversations with people of other ethnicities? Listen in.
Diversifying our friendships is important. Diversifying our life is important too. Where do we start? What can we do to cultivate interracial friendships? I’m so glad you asked!
You can cultivate interracial friendship with those in your real life starting today!
In today’s episode, you’ll learn about cultivating interracial friendships. Torrie Sorge breaks down: * Her story of growing up in a predominantly White, Midwestern town as a mixed-race person, * How God sees race and color because He isn’t colorblind * How to expand your circle of friends to include those of other races * And so much more!
If you’d like to learn more talking about race with grace, check these out: * #8: Grace in tragedy and injustice * #53: Delete + Reset: Race, Racism, and Your Role in Racial Reconciliation with Dr. Lucretia Berry * #158: Talking about race with grace with Michelle Ami Reyes
Mentioned in the podcast * Books by people of color to read this year for adults and kids * Michelle Ami Reyes * Rich Villodas * Alexandra Hoover * Be the Bridge by Latasha Morrison * Eyes Up by Alexandra Hoover
Here’s how to connect with Torrie * Newsletter * Instagram * Facebook * Pinterest * TikTok
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Starting and holding a conversation about race with your people can feel intimidating.
My hope is for us, as Christ's followers, to begin talking about race with the people most important to us because God’s heart is for people of every nation, tribe, and tongue to know and worship Him. If this is what heaven will look like, why can’t we bring heaven to earth now? Why can’t the Church be the frontrunner in racial reconciliation and hope?
Friend, I posit to you today that it is no longer an option to do nothing: To avoid conversations, to not bring truth into the light, to bury our heads in the sand about how much racism has hurt our country.
God’s gospel calls us higher. God’s gospel calls us to love people – those who look similar to us and those who do not. To go and make disciples – and the going could be as close as your next-door neighbor or as far away as whatever country is opposite of your latitude and longitude. To be in community with fellow image-bearers.
Will you lean in and listen to God’s heart for you as you live as a brave grace-girl?
In today’s episode, you’ll learn about talking about race with grace. Michelle Ami Reyes breaks down: * How to cultivate a biblical understanding of the theology of race * The difference between race, culture, and ethnicity, * And how to have conversations about race with your kids and teens
If you’d like to learn more talking about race with grace, check these out: * #8: Grace in tragedy and injustice * #53: Delete + Reset: Race, Racism, and Your Role in Racial Reconciliation with Dr. Lucretia Berry
Mentioned in the podcast * Books by people of color to read this year for adults and kids * From Every People and Nation by J. Daniel Hays * Redemptive Kingdom Diversity by Dr. Jarvis Williams
Here’s how to connect with Michelle * Instagram * YouTube * Website * Online Program
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
You are loved by God. Yes, you are a sinner, AND God saved you because He loved you first. Sinning is a part of your story, but that’s not the only true truth about you.
If you grew up with the drumbeat of messaging that reminded you of how sinful, unworthy, unrighteous, deceitful you were– which is certainly biblical but not the only or even most important part of your salvation story – please remember these truths.
Yes, you are a sinner, AND God saved you because He loved you first.
Sin is a big deal: it brings death to our souls, suffering, hurt, and destruction. It is so costly Jesus died to save us from it.
You were born into sin. Before you knew Jesus, you were a slave to sin. Once you became a follower of Christ, you were no longer a sinner but a saint.
Sinning is a part of your story, but that’s not the only true truth about you.
In today’s episode, you’ll learn how you are loved by God: * What this means for you * And how the gospel of grace balances our sinfulness with God’s love.
If you’d like to learn more about the gospel of grace and God’s love for you, check these out: * #61: How to live out the gospel of Easter year-round * #111: Living out the gospel in your real life * The Restoration Project: The gospel of grace * 4 gifts Jesus offers you * God’s grace-based way to quit doing more, living legalistically, and telling yourself to get it together
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Learn what it means to be free, the four steps to break free from sin, and how to break free from lies that don’t serve you well in Episode 156.
Through this last chapter of Jonah, we’ll see that only grace holds the power to set you free. God’s heart for us is not to be trapped by anger or sin or worry but to be free.
God created us to be free from sin and wounds and lies, so we could be free to be loved by Him, to be healed by Him, to obey Him, to worship Him, to delight in Him and feel His delight for us, to serve others, to know His friendship, and to experience community with our brothers and sisters in Christ.
When we are held captive by sin, wounds, false narratives, inaccurate understanding of God’s character, and lies, we do not live in freedom.
In today’s episode, you’ll learn how grace leads to freedom as we unpack: * What it means to be free, * The tools God gives you to break us free, * Four steps to break free from sin, * And how to break free from lies that don’t serve you well.
If you’d like to learn more about how to live in freedom, check these out: * Grace says you are free * #39: Freedom for the woman keeping a full schedule and chasing shiny things with Amanda Bacon * #101: Spiritual Health: Hearing from God for freedom with Jennifer Barnett * 4 gifts Jesus offers you * God’s grace-based way to quit doing more, living legalistically, and telling yourself to get it together
As Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry; there's no added cost to you! * #153: What does God’s grace mean? * #154: How to receive God’s grace * #155: Showing grace * Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Learn the four powerful steps of forgiveness, three ways to practically show people grace in your real life, and 10 simple ways to lead with humility in Episode 155.
People frustrate us, right? We bump up against each other’s sharp edges when we live, work, and play together. To live and love as Christ calls us to live and love, we must extend grace to others.
I would imagine many of you have hard people in your life. Maybe you have a neighbor who hosts loud parties every Saturday night, and it disrupts your sleep. Maybe you have an in-law who passively aggressively makes comments about your parenting and cooking, so you never feel quite enough around her. Maybe you have a boss who drops comments about what an unsatisfactory job you’re doing.
Or maybe you can’t think of a “hard” person to love in your life, but your kids or your husband – who you adore – drive you crazy sometimes. No matter how often you tell them to feed the dog, put their dirty laundry in the hamper, or rinse their glass before putting it in the dishwasher, they cannot figure it out.
The redundancy of having to tell people over and over what to do and how to do it is driving you bananas! Y’all, giving grace to humans is hard work.
In today’s episode, you’ll learn how to offer grace to others through * The four steps of forgiveness * Three ways to practically show people grace in your real life, * And 10 simple ways to lead with humility
How do we go about showing grace? Where do we go from here? How do we give grace to others, whether they are people we adore or people who drive us nuts, or people who have wounded us?
What does showing grace to others look like? Grace leads us to repentance. Before we can offer grace to others, we need to repent. Of what mindset about the people in your life, or of what response or reaction to the people in your life do you need to repent?
Grace leads us to forgive others. The process of forgiveness involves counting the debt, canceling that debt, releasing judgment, and allowing God to fill your deficit.
Grace leads us to show grace to others. Here are three ways we can practically offer grace to people in our real life: Set boundaries, know your people, and lead with humility.
Showing grace can look like forgiveness You might need to forgive someone for:
- Hurting or dismissing your feelings
- Saying unkind things about how you looked in high school
- Excluding you from a girls’ night out
- Cutting you off in traffic
- Talking back and defiantly disobeying you
- Or even physically violating you
We can tell we’re living in un-forgiveness when we tend toward:
- Anger
- Judgment
- Anxiety
- A heavy heart
- Rehearsing arguments
- Avoiding the other person or situation
- Not sleeping well
- Bitterness… I mean, the list can go on and on.
Forgiveness is not our default. Forgiveness is not
- Easy
- A feeling
- Condoning bad behavior
- Saying what happened to you is okay
- Forgetting what happened
- And it’s not a free pass for someone to keep hurting you.
Quotes about showing grace * “The only natural response to receiving grace is sharing grace with others.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Grace leads us to repentance.” - Jill E. McCormick * “God is grace, and He offers Himself to you, so you can offer grace to others.”- Jill E. McCormick * “Before we can offer grace to others, we need to repent.” - Jill E. McCormick
If you’d like to learn more about how to offer God’s grace to others, check these out: * #34: How to be a grace-giver this election season * #67: Easy and practical ways to give your kids grace [Grace in Parenting series] * #124: God, Grace + Emotions: Giving grace in anxiety and depression with J.S. (Joon) Park
As Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry; there's no added cost to you! * #153: What does God’s grace mean? * #154: How to receive God’s grace * First Freedoms by Jennifer Barnett
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Learn how to receive God’s grace, three reasons you might reject, and three phrases to put on repeat to live a grace-filled life. Listen in.
God’s grace is for the perfectionists, the ones who feel like they don’t belong, the ones who hate being vulnerable, and the ones who find their worth in metrics and knowledge.
In today’s episode, you’ll learn * how to receive God’s grace, * three reasons you might reject, * and three phrases to put on repeat to live a grace-filled life.
If you’d like to learn more about how to receive God’s grace, go here: * Grace says you are free * #63: 3 reasons you have a hard time receiving grace * #127: God, grace + emotions: Practical grace when you feel not enough with Richella Parham
As Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry; there's no added cost to you! * Emotional Agility by Dr. Susan David * #136: Grace vs. Fear: When you believe you’re messing up your kids * #153: What does God’s grace mean?
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Many of us feel today like we have been blindsided by a life we thought was going well; instead, we’ve been overcome by a health diagnosis. We feel untethered to who we are because our child is walking through hell, and we’ve done all we can, and we don’t know what to do, but we want our child’s pain to end. Or – oh, I don’t know: our world has been turned upside down over the past two years.
Many of us feel like we have been scooped up into a reality we didn’t choose, don’t like, and didn’t want.
All the while, our mind reels: What is going on? Where is God’s grace?
Oh, friend, if that is how you feel today, you are in the right place.
Throughout this series, we will plunge into the elusive and amazing concept of God’s grace as we study the book of Jonah, a man who certainly knew what it was like to be dropped somewhere you didn’t want to be.
We will see how God’s grace is for us, how to offer grace to others, and, more clearly, we will see the One who specializes in lavishing us with grace upon grace.
Over four Tuesdays, we will break down the book of Jonah like this:
- This week, we’ll look at Chapter 1 and discover what grace is
- Next week, we’ll look at Chapter 2 and learn how to receive God’s grace for ourselves
- March 21, we’ll look at Chapter 3 and walk through how to give grace to others
- And on March 28, we’ll look at Chapter 4 as we see how grace leads to freedom.
In today’s episode, you’ll learn * what God’s grace means, * why you reject God’s grace, * how faulty views of God impact your heart, * and how to receive grace in a storm.
Quotes about what God’s grace means * “God is grace, and He offers Himself to you.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Grace is the lovingkindness and favor of God that doesn’t excuse or condone your sin, but hammered it to the cross of Christ so you bear it no more.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Grace is the person of Christ, who understands your humanity and comes alongside you to work on your behalf.” - Jill E. McCormick
Quotes about grace in a storm * “In our suffering, God is with us. In our storm, God invites us to trust Him. He cares to act in the storm for our good. He is not on the other side of the storm; He is with us in it. He hides us under His wing as the storm batters us.” - Jill E. McCormick * “What storm in your life do you need to get up and call on God for? What winds and hardship and suffering are you numbing or working to escape that Jesus wants to use as a wake-up call?” - Jill E. McCormick * “God allows space for grief. Even a weak faith is held in the almighty hands of God. We can both live in the storm AND ALSO experience the abundant life God offers.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Friend, you do not need to run alone. You don’t need to ride out this storm alone. You can simply ask Him to help you accept the grace He’s already giving.” - Jill E. McCormick
If you’d like to learn more about grace and what it means for your right-now life, go here: * #1: So what is grace exactly? * #3: Are you a try-hard girl? * #54: A reminder for the try-hard girl when “Jesus loves me” feels cliche
As Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry; there's no added cost to you! This Too Shall Last by K.J. Ramsey
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
It is no accident that our Spiritual Health series started with paying attention and ends with sharing what rumbles in our souls.
Only when we wake up to what’s bothering us on the inside can we pour it out to the Lord as David did in the psalms.
We must know ourselves – our fears, hopes, dreams, worries, nervous ticks, default coping mechanisms – so we can articulate them to God, not because He doesn’t already know them but so we know ourselves in the light of His presence.
Because developing the skill of pouring out what you’re thinking and feeling is a practice that has laid dormant for many of us, I invited Jennifer Dukes Lee to the show.
Today, Jennifer walks us through:
- How journaling brings our stuff into the light,
- What holds us back from sharing our hearts with the Lord,
- And the two ways we can handle pain.
Quotes about how to pour out your heart through journaling * “Journaling is really a voyage of self-discovery.” - Jennifer Dukes Lee * “Journaling really helps you clear out distressing throughs so that you can move forward with renewed peace.” - Jennifer Dukes Lee * “Journaling is an opportunity to meet God on the pages.” - Jennifer Dukes Lee * “What would you say to God if you were completely honest?” - Jennifer Dukes Lee * “The psalms are unfiltered cries of people with broken hearts.” - Jennifer Dukes Lee * “Sometimes we don’t want to share our hopes and dreams because to speak it out loud or put it on paper feels like you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.” - Jennifer Dukes Lee * “Your honesty is safe with God.” - Jennifer Dukes Lee * “The most courageous thing you can do is be honest with yourself.” - Jennifer Dukes Lee
If you’d like to learn more about being honest with God about your dreams, listen in or read on: * #45: Refresh your thought-life about your dreams, calling, and next steps with Sarah Birkbeck * #88: What to do when you fear naming what you want [Fear Series] * #135: Grace vs. Fear: When you worry you’re selfish * 4 necessary skills to wait well on your dream * How we tragically misunderstand Jesus’ command to deny ourselves
Grace In Real Life Podcast’s 3rd Birthday Giveaway Win books, books, books, + $270 in fun Amazon money + awesome prizes!
Want books by Christ-centered authors? Need $270 from Amazon to purchase gifts? Relish gifts like a journal set, Purposed Box, virtual workshop, and two coaching sessions?
One winner will be randomly selected. The giveaway is open from February 14 through February 28.
Donors to the gift card are: Jill E. McCormick, Jill E. McCormick, Jennifer Dukes Lee, Jennifer Barnett, Heather Bjur, Twyla Franz, Jen Babakhan, Michelle Nietert, Jodi Grubbs, Girls Talking Life, Inspired Motherhood, Do A New Thing, and Purposed Box. To enter, go here.
As Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry; there's no added cost to you! * #57: Delete + Reset: Slowing down, releasing expectations, and creating an unhurried heart with Jennifer Dukes Lee * Stuff I’d Only Tell God by Jennifer Dukes Lee at 40% off at Baker Book House * It’s All Under Control by Jennifer Dukes Lee * Praying the Scriptures for Your Children by Jodie Berndt
Spiritual Health series episodes
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144: Spiritual Health: Paying attention with Anjuli Paschall
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145: Spiritual Health: Spending time with Jesus with Arabah Joy and Jen Evangelista
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146: Spiritual Health: Embracing a lifestyle of rest with Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith
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147: One ridiculously easy way to spread the gospel with Twyla Franz
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148: Easy ways to study the Word of God every woman can use w/Portia Collins
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149: How to find community: 3 easy places to find it with Rachael Wade
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150: Questions to ask God, yourself, and others w/Lore Ferguson Wilbert
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151: Cultivating a life of prayer with Asheritah Ciuciu
About Jennifer Dukes Lee Jennifer Dukes Lee is a bestselling author, thinker, and question-asker from Iowa.
Her friends say they are scared to sit alone in a room with her because they end up telling her things they never intended to say. She is both proud of this fact and also a little annoyed at how nosy she can be.
She put a bunch of her favorite questions into a journal called Stuff I'd Only Tell God. It's like your own little confession booth. She's also the author of Growing Slow and It's All Under Control.
Her wisdom doesn’t stop there. Jennifer is sharing resources EXCLUSIVELY with my email subscribers. Sign up here for the good + the grace.
Here’s how to connect with Jennifer * Website * Instagram * Facebook
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Learn how to cultivate a deep prayer life and pray effectively, including incorporating prayer in your daily rhythms in Grace In Real Life Ep 151 w/Asheritah Ciuciu.
I’ve been talking to God since I was little. My prayer life started with those basic prayers of mimicking what my parents spoke and saying grace before meals.
I’m pretty sure I went radio silent in high school and college. I told myself God was too busy when I was not even considering talking to Him.
Becoming a mother grounded my prayer life, making it a lifeline and the only way I could come up for air. When I held a newborn and entertained an 18-month-old, my prayers were one word: Help.
Now, I write out my prayers because of all the shiny squirrels in my head. My mind goes rogue if my hands don’t remind it why we’re here.
Prayer seems like the simplest of practices: talking to God and hearing His voice back. And yet… it’s a lot more difficult, isn’t it?
Because growing your faith through prayer is a skill that takes practice and creativity, and sometimes grit, I invited Asheritah Ciuciu to the show.
Today, Asheritah walks us through how to cultivate a life of prayer, including how to * Pray outside the box, * Use the REST method of prayer * And overcome these two common prayer challenges.
How to cultivate a deep and effective prayer life * “God, would you meet me here in this moment? Would you show me what it looks like to grow in my communication with you?” - Asheritah Ciuciu * “When your prayers come from a sincere, honest heart, they please God.” - Asheritah Ciuciu * “Let us not become complacent or somehow believe this is our destiny to be sub-par Christians who don’t know how to talk with God.” - Asheritah Ciuciu
If you’d like to learn more about developing a life of prayer, go here: * A prayer for the Achiever * #98: Spiritual Health: Praying to connect with the heart of Christ with Kimberly Coyle * A Prayer for the Worrier
Sign up here for A Holy Hush A Holy Hush: Reflections for Lent is a multi-part series sent only to those who sign-up and will offer simple reflections on the final days, death, and resurrection of Christ.
When you sign up, you’ll receive a short audio reflection in your inbox beginning Ash Wednesday and then every other Wednesday, as well as Palm Sunday, Good Friday, Easter Sunday, and Easter Monday.
By signing up, you'll also be added to Jill's weekly email newsletter, the good + the grace. Sign up here for A Holy Hush.
Grace In Real Life Podcast’s 3rd Birthday Giveaway Win books, books, books, + $270 in fun Amazon money + awesome prizes! Want books by Christ-centered authors? Need $270 from Amazon?
Relish gifts like a journal set, Purposed Box, virtual workshop, and two coaching sessions?
Just head to the link in my bio to enter! One winner will be randomly selected. The giveaway is open from February 14 through February 28.
Donors to the gift card are: Jill E. McCormick, Jill E. McCormick, Jennifer Dukes Lee, Jennifer Barnett, Heather Bjur, Twyla Franz, Jen Babakhan, Michelle Nietert, Jodi Grubbs, Girls Talking Life, Inspired Motherhood, Do A New Thing, and Purposed Box. To enter, go here.
Key quotes about prayer * “When we look at what Scripture says about what prayer is, it's almost as common as breathing.” - Asheritah Ciuciu * “Instead of believing the lie that we are not disciplined enough to be in prayer, we turn them [distractions] into prayer prompts.” - Asheritah Ciuciu * “What if God is bringing thoughts we find distracting because He has a list of things He wants to talk with us about?” - Asheritah Ciuciu * “All of who we are is safe with God.” - Asheritah Ciuciu * “If you could hear Jesus praying in the room next door, what would He be praying? How would that embolden you to join Him?” - Asheritah Ciuciu * “We have this problem of individualizing and privatizing our faith.” - Asheritah Ciuciu * “You are not meant to walk through your wilderness or your storm alone. That’s just not how God designed it.” - Asheritah Ciuciu * “When you’re in the wilderness, when you’re in the storm, surround yourself with community who can pray for you, who can hold you, and you can borrow their faith.” - Asheritah Ciuciu
As Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry; there's no added cost to you! * A Holy Hush: Reflections for Lent * Grace In Real Life Podcast’s 3rd Birthday Giveaway
About Asheritah Ciuciu Asheritah is a bestselling author, national speaker, and missional entrepreneur. She’s also a wife and mom, daughter, sister, and friend. And a recovering perfectionist.
Growing up in church, she thought spending time with Jesus meant an hour alone each day to study and pray—and this formulaic approach got harder to maintain the fuller her life became. But she’s learned that Jesus welcomes us to come to Him with our messy bun, sticky hands, crumby floors, and all.
Her greatest mission is to help busy women like us find joy in Jesus—right where we are.
Here’s how to connect with Asheritah * Podcast * Book * Weekly email * Instagram
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Curiosity is a skill we can use to better understand each other. But can we use that same skill to grow our faith? Can we develop curiosity about ourselves: Why do we tense up the way we do around that person? Why do we always say “yes” before checking our calendar?
What does it look like to be curious about God, ourselves, and the world?
Because developing curiosity is a skill that takes time and effort to cultivate, I invited Lore Ferguson Wilbert to the show.
Today, Lore walks us through: * How to cultivate curiosity, * The power of sitting with “I don’t know”, * And one question to ask a fellow Christ-follower today.
What is curiosity? * “Curiosity is a way to cultivate love for the world, for the Lord, and even for myself.” - Lore Ferguson Wilbert * “When we begin to look at those hard questions and really wrestle with them, that’s the thing that strengthens our faith.” - Lore Ferguson Wilbert * “Wrestling with the question leads to a rootedness.” Jill E. McCormick
If you’d like to learn more about finding community in your real life, go here: * Drop this habit for better friendships * #106: Holding space for the mystery of God with Rev. Summer Joy Gross
Sign up here for A Holy Hush A Holy Hush: Reflections for Lent is a multi-part series sent only to those who sign-up and will offer simple reflections on the final days, death, and resurrection of Christ.
When you sign up, you’ll receive a short audio reflection in your inbox beginning Ash Wednesday and then every other Wednesday, as well as Palm Sunday, Good Friday, Easter Sunday, and Easter Monday.
By signing up, you'll also be added to Jill's weekly email newsletter, the good + the grace. Sign up here for A Holy Hush.
Grace In Real Life Podcast’s 3rd Birthday Giveaway Win books, books, books, + $270 in fun Amazon money + awesome prizes!
Want books by Christ-centered authors? Need $270 from Amazon to purchase gifts? Relish gifts like a journal set, Purposed Box, virtual workshop, and two coaching sessions?
Just head to the link in my bio to enter! One winner will be randomly selected. The giveaway is open from February 14 through February 28.
Donors to the gift card are: Jill E. McCormick, Jill E. McCormick, Jennifer Dukes Lee, Jennifer Barnett, Heather Bjur, Twyla Franz, Jen Babakhan, Michelle Nietert, Jodi Grubbs, Girls Talking Life, Inspired Motherhood, Do A New Thing, and Purposed Box. To enter, go here.
Key quotes about curiosity and faith * “The power of sitting in a space of ‘I don’t know.’” - Lore Ferguson Wilbert * “When I say I don’t know something, that means there’s something for me to learn.” - Lore Ferguson Wilbert * “There’s more to my story, and I know the One who is writing my story.” -Jill E. McCormick * “Oftentimes, what God wants is our limp.” - Lore Ferguson Wilbert * “We come to know Jesus in our failure. We come to know Jesus in our joy. We come to know Jesus through paths of destruction. We come to know Jesus through sweet paths.” - Lore Ferguson Wilbert * “Orienting our lives around Jesus is the work of our lives.” - Lore Ferguson Wilbert * “Faith is messy.” - Lore Ferguson Wilbert * “Asking all those scary big questions leads us to the locus of His love 100% of the time.” - Lore Ferguson Wilbert * “How is your soul?” - Lore Ferguson Wilbert
As Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry; there's no added cost to you! * A Holy Hush: Reflections for Lent * Grace In Real Life Podcast’s 3rd Birthday Giveaway * A Curious Faith by Lore Ferguson Wilbert
About Lore Ferguson Wilbert Lore Ferguson Wilbert is a writer, thinker, learner, and author of the books A Curious Faith and Handle With Care. She lives in New York with her husband Nate, a puppy named Harper Nelle, and too many books to read in one lifetime.
Here’s how to connect with Lore * Instagram * Twitter * Facebook
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Learn three easy places to find community, one sign you’re open to community, and two simple ways to encourage your friends. If you’re lonely and ever wondered how to find community and belonging, listen in to Grace In Real Life Episode 149 with Rachael Wade.
God Himself is in community, being a part of the Trinity. He designed families as a way for people to be loved, supported, and strengthened. And then, He placed those families into tribes, cities, communities, and nations.
Throughout the Old and New Testaments, God talks about community and friendship and the values of both.
We may not think of hanging out with other humans as a spiritual discipline, but to God, togetherness, belonging, and support are critical to following Him and growing in grace.
So, where do you find your people? How do you make time for community when your schedule is full of work, picking-up and dropping-off kids, volunteering, and running a house? What do you do when you’re trying to connect but still feel lonely?
Because finding a community where you feel like you belong leaves us wondering where to start, I invited Rachael Wade to the show.
Today, Rachael walks us through: * Three easy places to find community, * How to find time for community when your schedule is crazy, * And three ways to honor and encourage your friends.
How to find community as an adult * “If you want community, you need to have a posture open to receive community.” - Rachael Wade * “To be open toward having multiple sources of community, where you’re pouring in, and you’re getting poured out, is essential.” - Rachael Wade * “I’m a firm believer in going first.” - Rachael Wade
What to do when you’re lonely * “I’m a firm believer in going first.” - Rachael Wade * “Get curious when you’re in those lonely seasons.” - Rachael Wade
If you’d like to learn more about finding community in your real life, go here: * Why perfectionists hate community * Grace says you are free * #147: One ridiculously easy way to spread the gospel with Twyla Franz * #134: Grace-based Friendship: Friendship + the Introvert with Yohonna Smith * #132: Grace-based Friendship: Making friends as an adult with Susan Seay
Sign up here for A Holy Hush A Holy Hush: Reflections for Lent is a multi-part series sent only to those who sign-up and will offer simple reflections on the final days, death, and resurrection of Christ.
When you sign up, you’ll receive a short audio reflection in your inbox beginning Ash Wednesday and then every other Wednesday, as well as Palm Sunday, Good Friday, Easter Sunday, and Easter Monday.
By signing up, you'll also be added to Jill's weekly email newsletter, the good + the grace.
Sign up here for A Holy Hush.
Key quotes about making friends and finding community * “Lord, in this season, who are the friends I need to spend time with and pour into and check in on?” - Rachael Wade * “Embracing your limitations is also really huge.” - Rachael Wade * “When you care about people, and you’re in friendship together, they deserve the right to have your honest communication, even when it doesn’t feel good.” - Rachael Wade * “Shame, guilt, and lies are all ways the enemy can try to isolate us from the truth and community.” - Rachael Wade * “To fight the battles that are in this life, we need to have people around us.” - Rachael Wade * “God takes us into new seasons and new assignments, and not everybody comes with us.” - Rachael Wade * “Encourage what you see and the experience you have on the other side of them.” - Rachael Wade * “To see people is one of the greatest ways we can show people the love of God. Through showing up and honoring one another is by remembering, by being curious, by circling back.” - Rachael Wade
As Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry; there's no added cost to you! * Enneagram Two * Susan Seay * Shundria Riddick * A Holy Hush: Reflections for Lent
About Rachael Wade Rachael is a wife, mom of two, seminary student, writer, and teacher, who is passionate about encouraging and equipping men and women with the word of God.
She believes in the power of the "in process" everyday story. For this reason, she created Olive Us, a ministry where women recount to remember the goodness and faithfulness of God.
Rachael faithfully serves at Camp Well, an experience for women who sit in the tension of being too much and not enough, and on the teaching team at Epic Church in San Francisco.
When Rachael isn't leading, teaching, and writing on her "Seeds of Encouragement" blog, she's hanging out in her comfy pajamas at home with her family, enjoying a nice charcuterie board.
Here’s how to connect with Rachael * Website * Instagram * Facebook * Olive Us * Camp Well
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
You’ll learn easy ways to study the Word of God every woman can use. If you’ve ever wondered how to read God’s Word effectively, listen in to Grace In Real Life Episode 148 with Portia Collins.
I’m 99% sure that you read the Bible. Maybe you read a verse a day or are reading the Bible chronologically or are reading it in a year. Maybe you listen to Scripture on the way to work.
But how do we study the word of God when we aren’t biblical scholars? How do we know we’re interpreting Scripture correctly if we don’t have a Master’s in Divinity? How can every woman study the Bible like a pro?
Because studying the Bible can feel daunting (or maybe a bit stale), I invited Portia Collins to the show.
To help us study the word of God effectively (whether you’re a beginner or a pro), Portia walks us through: * The four types of theology, * Three ways to study the Bible in context, * Steps to take when you don’t understand the Bible, * And what to do when the Bible ruffles your feathers (and why that’s good!).
How to study the Bible effectively * “You don’t have to be a seminarian. You just need to be curious.” - Portia Collins * “There’s something transformative about seeing this entire story from start to finish.” - Portia Collins
12 Resources, Tools, and Methods for Bible study The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry; there's no added cost to you! 1. Books by Nancy Guthrie 2. Logos Bible Study Software 3. Blue Letter Bible 4. Matthew Henry Commentary 5. Dwell Bible App 6. New Morning Mercies by Paul David Tripp 7. The One Year Praying through the Bible for Your Kids by Nancy Guthrie 8. Greek and Hebrew Lexicons 9. Wiersbe Bible Commentary 10. John Stott Commentaries 11. Unfolding Grace by Drew Hunter 12. Rose Publishing Pamphlets
If you’d like to learn more about studying the Bible, go here: * Learn from my idiot quiet time moves * 15 Bible studies you'll love and learn from
Sign up here for A Holy Hush A Holy Hush: Reflections for Lent is a multi-part series sent only to those who sign-up and will offer simple reflections on the final days, death, and resurrection of Christ.
When you sign up, you’ll receive a short audio reflection in your inbox beginning Ash Wednesday and then every other Wednesday, as well as Palm Sunday, Good Friday, Easter Sunday, and Easter Monday.
By signing up, you'll also be added to Jill's weekly email newsletter, the good + the grace.
Sign up here for A Holy Hush.
Key quotes about how to study the word of God * “For the believer, our opinions and beliefs should be shaped by Scripture.” - Portia Collins * “More than, ‘What do I think about this?’ is ‘What does God think about this?’ And how does that, in turn, shape what I think about this?” - Portia Collins * “God’s message and what He is communicating to His people has not changed. Not in this culture. Not in the culture 2,000 years ago.” - Portia Collins * “We miss what God is actually trying to communicate because all we’re really looking at is, ‘How does this apply to me?’” - Portia Collins * “Everything you’re reading and taking in about the Bible should first be shaping your understanding of who God is, what His plan of redemption is, and then do you fit into God’s plan?” - Portia Collins * “This is God’s word. He wants us to get it.” - Portia Collins * “There are going to be [biblical] passages that are going to ruffle our feathers sometimes, but I think that’s a good thing.” - Portia Collins * “I think it’s good for us to wrestle with passages, to have that struggle because then we get that practice of what it means to actually submit.” - Portia Collins * “It’s in the wrestling that I become rooted.” - Jill E. McCormick
As Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry; there's no added cost to you! * Timothy Keller * Desiring God * A Holy Hush: Reflections for Lent
About Portia Collins Portia is a Christian Bible teacher, writer, and podcaster with a passion for sharing God’s Word. Portia is also the founder of She Shall Be Called, a nonprofit women’s ministry focused on Bible literacy.
You can also catch her hosting two weekly podcasts: Grounded —a podcast/videocast from Revive Our Hearts—and Sweet Tea with Jasmine & Portia.
Portia and her husband, Mikhail, have a daughter and currently make their home in the Mississippi Delta.
Although she is a full-time working wife and mom, she is never too busy to enjoy a few of her favorite things, like cooking traditional Southern dishes, getting lost in a good book, and writing.
Here’s how to connect with Portia * Website * Instagram * Facebook * She Shall Be Called * Revive Our Hearts podcast * Sweet Tea with Jasmine and Portia podcast
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Here’s how to spread the gospel without feeling awkward. This is evangelism without knocking on the doors of strangers.
Jesus calls us to go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything He commanded us.
Nothing sounds more amazing and more terrifying.
We know that Jesus alone is the solution and salvation that gets to the root of every issue we face in our own hearts and the world, AND YET… the idea of sharing our lives and Jesus with others inspires the most fear.
To help us spread the gospel, Twyla walks us through: * The three components of missional living, * How to share Jesus’s love without feeling awkward, * And one first step you can take toward missional living.
Key Quotes * “We didn’t know exactly what we were doing – we still don’t – but we started with what we knew.” - Twyla Franz * “Hospitality is showing up where you are as you are and just loving people.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Missional living is this posture that we want to have in our hearts and our lives: that our homes to be open to our neighbors.” - Twyla Franz * “Missional living is a lifestyle where we are tethered to Jesus, and we’re inviting people to be in close proximity to us.” - Twyla Franz * “Be visible.” - Twyla Franz * “I want to invite people to interrupt me.” - Twyla Franz * “Somebody has to go first.” - Twyla Franz * “The direction we’re going is so much more important than the pace.” - Twyla Franz * “I’m not overthinking my words; I’m just letting God seep into the conversation.” - Twyla Franz * “Sharing about Jesus is just His story overlapping with our story.” - Twyla Franz * “I need people. You need people, too. Let’s just stop pretending that we don’t.” - Twyla Franz * “We don’t have to have all the answers before we start. We just have to have the desire to begin.” - Twyla Franz * “A lot of the learning and growing happens as we dive in.” - Twyla Franz
As Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry, there's no added cost to you! Twyla’s 30-day devotional
About Twyla Franz Twyla is a growing voice in the missional living niche whose words appear in publications like Relevant and Her View From Home. She founded The Uncommon Normal in 2019 to help imperfectly-ready people take baby steps into neighborhood missional living.
Her 2019 word of the year – open – helped her dismantle the walls she’d built that kept her friendships shallow; she wants nothing more than to help other women find freedom and deep friendship on the other side of their walls.
Twyla and her family live in Lexington, KY, where they host a neighborhood missional community. If she's not writing or creating Canva graphics, she's probably talking to a neighbor or figuring out what she can make for dinner with the ingredients on hand.
Here’s how to connect with Twyla * Website * Instagram * Pinterest * Facebook
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
What’s tired in your life? What area feels depleted? Today we’re talking about making rest a part of our everyday lives.
If I were to ask every listener if she struggled with rest, I’m guessing 99.9% of you would say yes. When we rest, we feel:
- Guilty
- Unproductive
- Like it’s a waste of time
Yet, God designed us to rest.
In this episode, Dr. Saundra shares: * The seven types of rest, * How to weave rest into your daily routine * And practical truth when you feel guilty about resting.
Key Quotes * “Rest is still an area I struggle with, but it’s an area I struggle with with the Lord.” - Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith * “Rest is really about restoration. Rest is restoring whatever’s been depleted.” - Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith * “What’s tired? Are you emotionally tired? Are you mentally tired? Are you socially tired?” - Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith * “I didn’t find value in rest because it seems empty.” - Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith * “God wants you to produce from your highest level of capacity, and you can only do that when you’re doing it His way.” - Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith * “Rest is a gift my friend Jesus gives me.” - Jill E. McCormick * “I read the Word like a student, not a daughter.” - Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith * “When you’re not comfortable receiving, you’ll push back some of His best gifts.” - Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith
As Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry, there's no added cost to you! * Sacred Rest by Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith * RestQuiz.com * #128: God, grace + emotions: The grace of joy with Kimberly Davis
About Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith Dr. Saundra is a Board-Certified internal medicine physician, speaker, and award-winning author.
She is an international well-being thought leader, featured in numerous media outlets, including Prevention, MSNBC, Women’s Day, FOX, Fast Company, Psychology Today, INC, CNN Health, and TED.com.
She is the author of numerous books, including her bestseller Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity. Over 250,000 people have discovered their personal rest deficits using her free assessment at RestQuiz.com.
Here’s how to connect with Dr. Saundra * Website * Instagram
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Today we’re talking about the spiritual discipline of spending time with Jesus.
Is there any more transformational practice than spending time with Jesus? When we talk with Him and listen to Him and love Him and let Him love us back, it changes everything. We are no longer who we were after we’ve spent time with Christ.
In this episode, AJ and Jen share: * Ideas to freshen up your quiet time * Creative ways to find time to spend with Jesus when your kids are little or homeschooling * And the remembrance that all it takes is one step at a time in the direction of Jesus to shape a life.
Key Quotes * “God’s heart’s desire is for us to remain with Him.” - AJ and Jen * “Everything in my life is intended to be for the glory of God.” - AJ and Jen * “It’s okay to schedule time with God; it doesn’t mean I’m not spiritual because I don’t get up at 4 a.m. and study.” - AJ and Jen * “It was my desperation that forced me to make the shift from checking off the list of spiritual things to, ‘I really need Jesus Himself.’” - AJ and Jen * “Embrace the difficult season you’re in, and don’t feel guilty about what you can’t do or are not doing. Instead, allow that situation to drive you to Jesus.” - AJ and Jen * “I tend to have spiritual ADHD, and I rush through things so fast that I miss the point.” - AJ and Jen * “I made my quiet time portable through meditation.” - AJ and Jen * “The Lord will increase your desire and your ability to find the cracks and the in-between moments.” - AJ and Jen
As Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry, there's no added cost to you! * #113: Grace + Your Body: Aging with grace * Day By Day Chronological Bible * Dwell App * Sojo Academy * The Sojo Show * Sojo Hub * Praying the Promises of God
About AJ and Jen AJ is a career missionary, and Jen is a pastor's wife. Together, they have spent the last 27+ years mentoring others in their relationship with God.
Collectively, they've adopted internationally, lived in five different countries, gone through medical school, put their husbands through seminary, planted churches, worked as professionals, started their own businesses, served as military wives, volunteered in schools, and homeschooled kids.
Because of this, they bring decades of ministry and life experience to the women they serve in Sojo Academy, the global community of women they run together.
Here’s how to connect with AJ and Jen * Podcast * Instagram * YouTube
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Today we’re talking about the spiritual discipline of paying attention and awakening to God’s love for you.
Through this series on spiritual health, I want us – women of God and sisters in Christ – to be healthy and to shed who we are not and the false narratives that don’t serve us well so we can live and move and have our being in freedom and grace.
I pray that we will lean – not into the discipline, for the discipline isn’t the point –but that we would lean into the God who is actively shaping us and that we will learn to love who we are becoming.
In this episode, Anjuli shares: * How to pay attention is different seasons * How to let people in when you’re terrified * And what it looks like for Jesus to be with you
Key Quotes * “The way in which I was doing the spiritual disciplines was totally killing me inside.” - Author Anjuli Paschall * “The thought of stopping and being alone in a cabin for three weeks terrified me. And what terrified me the most was being with myself.” - Author Anjuli Paschall * “When we stay with ourselves, and we stay with God staying with us, that is the living water we are thirsty for.”- Author Anjuli Paschall * “When we stop and open our hearts, it’s messy.” - Author Anjuli Paschall * “The invitation the Lord is giving you is to stay because that’s where the Lord is. He is with you.” - Author Anjuli Paschall * “The real hope with any discipline is to not get good at the discipline but to become wise and well in the thing you want to grow in.” - Author Anjuli Paschall * “What do you see? When you look in the mirror and look at yourself, what’s there?” - Author Anjuli Paschall * “Paying attention is actually receiving the life you’ve been given.” - Author Anjuli Paschall * “Paying attention looks like being really honest with myself and being really honest with others.” - Author Anjuli Paschall * “Trust the journey Jesus has you on.” - Author Anjuli Paschall * “The capacity for you to be vulnerable is dependent on the other person’s capacity and your experience of their reliability.” - Author Anjuli Paschall * “Now I care very little about someone perceiving me as a good mom. I care about being the mom my kids need.” - Author Anjuli Paschall * “Parenting is a tender balance between love and freedom.” - Author Anjuli Paschall
As Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry, there's no added cost to you! * #97: Spiritual Health: Studying the Bible with Amber Palmer * #98: Spiritual Health: Praying to connect with the heart of Christ with Kimberly Coyle * #99: Spiritual Health: Celebrating Sabbath with Mark Buchanan * #100: Spiritual Health: Imitating Christ as we suffer with author K.J. Ramsey * #101: Spiritual Health: Hearing from God for freedom with Jennifer Barnett * #51: Delete + Reset: Body Image, Weight, Jean Size, and Jesus with Jami Amerine * #53: Delete + Reset: Race, Racism, and Your Role in Racial Reconciliation with Dr. Lucretia Berry * #55: Delete + Reset: Productivity, Exhaustion, and Balancing Your Passions with Christa Hutchins * #57: Delete + Reset: Slowing down, releasing expectations, and creating an unhurried heart with Jennifer Dukes Lee * #59: Delete + Reset: Navigating hard conversations with Esther Littlefield
About Anjuli Paschall Anjuli is the author of Stay and Awake.
She grew up encircled by an orange grove in San Diego. After graduating from Point Loma Nazarene University, she earned her master's degree in spiritual formation and soul care from Talbot Seminary. She currently lives in Southern California with her husband, Sam, and five children.
She is the founder of The Moms We Love Club and writes regularly for (in)courage.
Here’s how to connect with Anjuli * Awake book * Stay book * Instagram * Spiritual direction courses
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
The story of Christ’s time on earth is the story of peace as a palindrome, you know: one of those words that reads the same forwards and backward.
When Jesus was born, He came as Immanuel, God With Us. When Jesus died, was buried, rose again on the third day, and ascended into heaven, He is still Immanuel, God With Us.
Jesus’s time here started with angels who spoke about peace. Jesus’s time here ended with His words of the peace He leaves us and His directions to us to be peacemakers, deliverers of the good news to help others be at peace with God.
Key Quotes * “We are at peace because God is with us. And in our peace, we go and tell the world.” - Jill E. McCormick * “What brings us peace, what settles our hearts, is Jesus’ ability to reconcile us back to God,and the promise of His presence.” - Jill E. McCormick * “My peace is firmly rooted in His character. And His character is Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” - Jill E. McCormick
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Joy is at the heart of Christ. And yet, joy is the noun I struggle with most.
Joy causes a hitch in my throat that says, “But wait; what about all the hurt and sadness and violence?”
Joy feels irrelevant or off-key or out of step in a world where:
- Human trafficking and slavery exist
- Women in the workplace face a wage disparity
- Racism flourishes
- Without provocation, one country attacks another country, and the world condemns with words, sends money, but doesn’t intervene.
Joy feels like stand-up comedy at a funeral. And yet, despite all our hang-ups about joy, joy is inextricably tied to the birth of Jesus Christ.
Key Quotes * “We’ve all heard the phrase, ‘God cares more about your character than your happiness,’ as if an infinite God doesn’t have the capacity to care about both simultaneously. - Jill E. McCormick * “Perhaps joy is so hard for us to receive and understand because it is what Jesus wants for us, AND what our enemy works hardest to steal. ” - Jill E. McCormick * “Joy is defiant resistance.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Joy is the rebellious act of remembering that God is with us – even here – in the presence of pain and the desperation of suffering.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Joy is Jesus. And joy has come.” - Jill E. McCormick
As Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry, there's no added cost to you! * #125: Combatting shame with grace with Becky Leach * #128: The grace of joy with Kimberly Davis * Detoured by Jen Babakhan * Mythical Me by Richella Parham * What’s Here Now? by Jeanne Stevens * Grace In Real Life book giveaway * #81: Get Unstuck: Your identity with Jen Babakhan * #129: God, grace + emotions: Radical grace for your distracted, swirling brain with Jeanne Stevens * #127: God, grace + emotions: Practical grace when you feel not enough with Richella Parham
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Our great, big, powerful God invites us to have the great, big powerful gift of faith. Yet, this feels daunting to us.
But what if our great big powerful God who created and offers the great big powerful gift of faith understands the beauty of small steps?
When we look at the faithful giants of our faith, may we see the great big outcomes AND the small steps of obedience.
What if faith is a big gift made of small steps? What if this gift of belief is stitched together with questions and doubts? What if faith is the repetitive motion of listening, acting, asking, and doing it all over again?
What if our faith is made up of God asking questions of us and us asking questions back?
Perhaps faith doesn’t look or feel like absolute certainty but is a track record built over time and based on obedience and questions.
Perhaps faith is belief plus doubt plus courage to question plus the audacity to lean our whole weight on an inconceivable answer because we know in whom we have believed.
Maybe the great big powerful gift of faith is simply taking one step closer to the voice of Jesus and trusting that He alone is responsible for the outcomes.
Key Quotes * “When God speaks, He speaks life into existence.” - Jill E. McCormick * “What if faith is a big gift made of small steps?” - Jill E. McCormick * “Perhaps faith doesn’t look or feel like absolute certainty but is a track record built over time and based on obedience and questions. ” - Jill E. McCormick * “Maybe the great big powerful gift of faith is simply taking one step closer to the voice of Jesus and trusting that He alone is responsible for the outcomes.” - Jill E. McCormick
As Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry, there's no added cost to you! * #140: Advent: Hope * Detoured by Jen Babakhan * Mythical Me by Richella Parham * What’s Here Now? by Jeanne Stevens * Grace In Real Life book giveaway * #81: Get Unstuck: Your identity with Jen Babakhan * #129: God, grace + emotions: Radical grace for your distracted, swirling brain with Jeanne Stevens * #127: God, grace + emotions: Practical grace when you feel not enough with Richella Parham
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
We will revisit a well-worn story of a God who loves nearness with us and whose hallmark and name bear His With-ness.
A story that started in the garden and ends in eternity.
A story of a God who has taken the form of a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night, AND who put on flesh and dwelt among us.
A story of the infinite turned infant.
A story of a God whose kingdom has come, is here now, and will be forever.
A story of 400 years of silence broken by the cries of a baby.
A story of a God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills and started His life in the trough of cows.
This is the story of hope.
For the next four weeks, we will follow the themes of the Advent candles we light each Sunday:
- Today, in Episode 140, we’ll speak of hope
- Next week, we’ll speak about faith
- In our third week together, we’ll speak of joy
- And our final week of Advent – and our final episode of 2022 – we’ll speak about peace.
Key Quotes * “Hope is a gift as good as done.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Because Jesus is hope and Jesus is life, the opposite of hope is death.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Death is the sound of an apple crunching. And hope is the sound of the cry of a baby, the hammer of a nail through divine flesh, the grinding of a gravestone rolling along loose gravel.” - Jill E. McCormick * “The Christmas story is the story of the infinite turned infant.” - Jill E. McCormick
As Mentioned in the Podcast ###### The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry, there's no added cost to you!
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94: Advent: The Lord is coming!
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95: Advent: The story of Mary + Joseph
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96: Advent: The shepherds + the wise men
- Detoured by Jen Babakhan
- Mythical Me by Richella Parham
- What’s Here Now? by Jeanne Stevens
- Grace In Real Life book giveaway
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81: Get Unstuck: Your identity with Jen Babakhan
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129: God, grace + emotions: Radical grace for your distracted, swirling brain with Jeanne Stevens
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127: God, grace + emotions: Practical grace when you feel not enough with Richella Parham
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
As we interact with family members we only see a few times a year, and those who may hold political views or perspectives 180 degrees opposite of us, we see our humanity, our sin, our frailty, and our cracks more clearly now than at any other time of the year. We are especially conscious of wanting to be healthy and whole, and to act out of love, not fear of missing out or obligation during these weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
It’s like every issue or frustration or shame or guilt comes to light during the height of the emotions and togetherness of the season. How can we be gracious and act in love?
In this conversation, Sara shares Jesus-centered wisdom about
- What’s really going on when you feel pressure to make every moment magical,
- How to give yourself permission to opt out of every holiday invitation
- Ways to host family members who think and vote differently than you do
- How to ask for help during the holidays without being bossy or passive-aggressive.
Key Quotes * “Hosting means task orientation becomes king.” - LPC Sara Peters * “You cannot do it all and be a good guest.” - LPC Sara Peters * “If may feel awkward, but you are limited.”- LPC Sara Peters * “Ask for God’s sovereignty to override our own individual differences at a family gathering.” - LPC Sara Peters * “As the hostess, you are not in charge of how everyone behaves or how they speak or what they do.” - LPC Sara Peters * “In every moment you engage with your family, you have the opportunity to be a co-creator with Christ to bring His kingdom on this earth through your interactions with your family.” - LPC Sara Peters * “Enjoying everything together includes you.” - LPC Sara Peters * “Respect their ‘no.’” - LPC Sara Peters * “Do I want to be right, or do I want to be happy? Is this an interaction worth having?” - LPC Sara Peters
As Mentioned in the Podcast ###### The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry, there's no added cost to you!
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43: How to navigate the tension between grief and gratitude
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89: Reduce Christmas stress with these sanity-saving tips customized for your Enneagram type
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90: When all doesn’t feel merry + bright
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91: How to slow down without opting out with Jodi Grubbs
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92: Our God of tables and togetherness
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94: Advent: The Lord is coming!
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95: Advent: The story of Mary + Joseph
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96: Advent: The shepherds + the wise men
- Finding a Christian counselor
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126: God, grace + emotions: Overcoming guilt with grace with Sara Peters
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
We’re talking about gift ideas for each Enneagram type and how each type feels about gifts in general.
Each Enneagram type has gifts they would love to give and gifts they love to receive. In today’s episode, we’re going to break down:
- Each type’s gift-giving philosophy
- How each type feels as a gift-giver and gift-receiver
- And gift ideas for all nine types, including gifts you should NEVER buy!
Key Quotes * “More than any other type, Eights want something from the heart. You want to know that you are fully known, seen, and appreciated for who you are and the hobbies you enjoy.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Nines, as a gift-receiver, you worry that you didn’t get the item you most (secretly) wanted, and now you have to pretend you like it.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Ones, you grow anxious as you try to think of the perfect gift for everyone on your list so you throw in the towel and decide to give everyone an impersonal gift card.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Twos, you do not want to get junk for anyone on your list; instead, you want each gift to be meaningful, which puts a lot of pressure on your time, resources, and finances to find the most special, personal gift for every single person you love.” - Jill E. McCormick * “For Threes, gifts are practical means to a goal-achieving end.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Nothing is worse to a Four than a generic, practical gift. You want a deeply personal, tell-me-you-get-me kinda gift.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Fives, you love practical gifts, but truly, you aren’t really into stuff.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Sixes, as a gift-giver, you love giving meaningful gifts you know your people will appreciate and use, but you hate the shopping and stores required.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Sevens, as a gift-receiver, nothing makes your heart happier than a quality experience with your people.” - Jill E. McCormick
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- Episode #7: What the Enneagram is, what it isn’t, and why it’s important to your spiritual growth
- Get Jill’s 2022 Gift Guide by subscribing
- Book Recommendations
- The best books and resources to promote emotional health
- The best Enneagram books all Enneagram-lovers need to read
- Books by people of color to read this year for adults and kids
- 10 parenting books for the mom who hate parenting books
- 10 books for the Try-Hard Girl who loves a good WWII read
- 10 books for the woman who wants to learn a lot
- Eight books for the woman who wants to get lost in a story
- The best spiritual growth books for your Enneagram type
- Books to throw in your beach bag this summer
- Santa’s Bag app
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Some of us feel like asking for help is The Worst, and our reasons for that fall into three buckets: our sin (like pride), wounds inflicted by others when we’ve asked for help in the past, and lies we believe about what it says about us if we ask for help.
We don’t want to stay stuck. We want to be helpers and helpees, so what do we do?
Today, we’ll work out:
- why we find it so hard to accept help,
- and practical tools to help you move away from not asking for help and toward reaching out.
Key Quotes * “There is no need to atone or pay penance for our forgiven sin.” - Writer + speaker Jill E. McCormick * “You do not need to wallow in self-pity or guilt or shame as a way to prove your sorrow over your sin.” - Writer + speaker Jill E. McCormick * “Woundedness tells us it’s easier to go it alone than it is to risk putting our vulnerable, heartbroken selves back out there.” - Writer + speaker Jill E. McCormick * “The process of forgiveness involves counting the debt, canceling that debt, releasing judgment, and allowing God to fill your deficit.” - Writer + speaker Jill E. McCormick * "Fear often calls itself truth. ” - Writer + speaker Jill E. McCormick * “I don’t want to listen to what I think. I want to listen to what Jesus says.” - Writer + speaker Jill E. McCormick * “We leave God’s best on the table because our sin, woundedness, and the lies we believe Get in the way.” - Writer + speaker Jill E. McCormick
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- Episode #101: Spiritual Health: Hearing from God for freedom
- Episode #135 When you worry you’re selfish
- Episode 136: When you believe you’re messing up your kids
- Breaking Free from Body Shame by Jess Connolly
- First Freedoms by Jennifer Barnett
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Most moms I know – at one time or another – have said some version of “I’m messing up my kids.”
Because we’ve lived the power of words and actions in our own lives with our parents, and because we know the truth of science, and the practicality of much of the messaging, we know our impact is critical and we take our roles seriously. This is good and right and true. And can be crushing to our confidence.
We can heap shame on ourselves when we know the facts and read God’s word and learn about a best practice, then line it all up against our failings.
So today, we’ll walk through:
- Why we feel this way
- How we define “messing up”
- The specific ways we feel like we’re messing up our kids based on their ages
- What is true
- And finally, next steps for the grace-girl.
Key Quotes * “As image-bearers, our kids also hold the power of AND: impressionable AND resilient, strong AND in need, healing AND wounded.” - Writer + speaker Jill E. McCormick * “The Lord is not frustrated that we are learning to parent as we parent.” - Writer + speaker Jill E. McCormick * “The Lord is gentle with your heart and doesn’t place the task of salvation or perfect performance on you.” - Writer + speaker Jill E. McCormick * “Nothing we can do – no way we parent – will thwart what God has planned for our kids. - Writer + speaker Jill E. McCormick * “Repentance is coming home to who I most truly am.” - Writer + speaker Jill E. McCormick * “Be the best apologizer you know.” - Writer + speaker Jill E. McCormick
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87: Navigating the fear that our kids will miss out
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122: Parenting in our brokenness with Monet Carpenter
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135: Grace vs. Fear: When you worry you’re selfish
- Mom Set Free by Jeannie Cunnion
- Love Her Well by Kari Kampakis
- Lisa Appelo
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
No grace-girl worth her salt wants to be selfish. Women – especially women raised in the church – do not want to be selfish or self-centered or someone who pursues selfish ambitions.
Selfishness is a ninja that sneaks up on us and calls us out when we dare to
- watch a show and sit on the couch instead of doing laundry,
- sit on the back porch and read a book instead of playing with our kids,
- or when we turn down a coffee date or volunteer request.
In this episode, we break down:
- What skews our understanding of self-ish-ness,
- What self-ish-ness is, and what is not,
- Whether self-less-ness is our ultimate goal,
- And where grace meets us as we tend to our self.
Key Quotes * “Acknowledging and honoring your basic human needs, like resting when you need to rest, having fun with your friends, and taking a break from monotony, are not selfish.” - Writer + speaker Jill E. McCormick * “The Lord is faithful and just to show you blindspots or fear and what you’re doing well.” - Writer + speaker Jill E. McCormick * “Have you convinced yourself your needs don’t matter?” - Writer + speaker Jill E. McCormick * “Have you tucked your talents, gifts, personality, and temperament away, believing this is what dying to self looks like?” - Writer + speaker Jill E. McCormick * “You can honor your needs and the needs of others; because one person is not more sacred or holy or better or more valuable than the other because God shows no partiality, and neither should you.” - Writer + speaker Jill E. McCormick * “You are not selfish because you have needs, dreams, and talents. You are God’s girl.” - Writer + speaker Jill E. McCormick
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- The Best of You book by Dr. Alison Cook
- The Best of You podcast
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
No matter our temperament or personality type, God designed us to be in friendship with each other. Whether introverts or extroverts, God invites us to come together, spur each other on to good works, care for each other, confess our sins to each other, and build each other up.
But what does this look like for introverts who love people AND also need time alone to recharge? I’m so glad Yohonna Smith is here because today, Yohanna
- Gives hope when you struggle to initiate a friendship,
- Shares what to do when your extroverted friend’s plans don’t align with your energy level,
- And offers a gracious next step when you feel out of practice in putting yourself out there.
Key Quotes * “I might leave time with friends physically tired, but my soul is renewed and refreshed.” - Yohonna Smith * “You being in community is a blessing to other people.” - Yohonna Smith * “Instead of putting yourself out there, invite people in.” - Yohonna Smith * “We are socially out of shape.” - Yohonna Smith * “We need to step out. We need to start small.” - Yohonna Smith * “You need to check in with yourself, and you need to notice your capacity.” - Yohonna Smith * “We can protect our energy in a way that honors us and the other person.” - Jill E. McCormick
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- Episode 131: How your Enneagram type impacts your friendships
- Episode 132: Making friends as an adult with Susan Seay
- And Episode 133: Are your friendships healthy? (And what to do if they’re not) with LPC Shundria Riddick
- Myers-Briggs
About Yohonna Smith Yohonna is the host of the Girls Talking Life podcast, where you will find God-honoring conversations to stir your soul and encourage you in your faith, life, and friendships.
She is also the creator of The Gathering Project, a five-day experience to plan, prep, and gather with your girlfriends.
Yohonna lives in central Ohio along with her husband, two daughters, and one bad dog. She spends her days in the details of family life, trying to find the balance between fun mom and responsible mom. She continuously struggles to find enough time in the day, to be brave enough to take action on the hard things, and to love Jesus more.
Here’s how to connect with Yohonna * Website * Instagram * Facebook * Podcast * Yohonna’s free Friendship Inventory
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Are your friendships healthy? How do you know if a friendship is unhealthy?
God’s heart for us is to have deep friendships, but how do we know if our friendships are healthy and what to do about it if they are not?
I’m so glad Licensed Professional Counselor Shundria Riddick is here because she talks to us about
- seven ingredients of healthy friendships,
- what boundaries look like in friendships,
- and five ways to reconcile a broken friendship
Key Quotes * “Reciprocity is not something that’s selfish; it actually honors the relationship.” - LPC Shundria Riddick * “Boundaries aren’t saying ‘no.’ Boundaries are honoring your choices.” - LPC Shundria Riddick * “True friendships allow for disagreements.” - LPC Shundria Riddick * “There has to be room and grace for disagreements.” - LPC Shundria Riddick * “Some of us talk, and then we wait to talk. We listen to talk.” - LPC Shundria Riddick * “You know what it’s like to be you. You don’t know what it's like to be in relationship with you.” - LPC Shundria Riddick * “There’s nothing you can do that can heal the hurt and brokenness in another person.” - LPC Shundria Riddick * “There aren’t going to be good feelings when you’re having a difficult conversation.” - LPC Shundria Riddick
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- Become a subscriber so you can enter to win one free life coaching session with Shundria!
-
100: Spiritual Health: Imitating Christ as we suffer with author K.J. Ramsey
About Shundria Riddick Shundria shares a message of hope and freedom in Christ. As a graduate of Amberton University, Shundria holds a Master’s Degree in Counseling. In the role of a wife of over 20 years and dedicated mother, she has spent the last several years in the trenches of chauffeuring kids, cooking, cleaning, and trying to figure out how to sync all of her devices.
And like the typical woman, she has juggled all of these things while dealing with the emotional and mental battles of life's daily issues. Shundria currently provides virtual counseling and educational groups from her private practice in Coppell, Texas.
Here’s how to connect with Shundria * Website * Instagram * Facebook * Twitter
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
We’re talking about how to make friends as an adult, especially when you have older kids. God’s heart for us is to have deep friendships, but how do we do that in real life, especially when we have older kids who we drop off and pick up from places?
I’m so glad Susan is here because she talks to us about
- The difference between community and friendship,
- Finding time to make friends as an adult,
- And what to do when you feel anxious meeting new people.
Key Quotes * “It takes such effort to say, ‘Hey friend, what’s going on?’” - Certified Life Coach Susan Seay * “Where is God to send me those friends?” - Certified Life Coach Susan Seay * “We have to be willing to let developing friendships be awkward.” - Certified Life Coach Susan Seay * “Safety is something we get to cultivate within ourselves.” - Certified Life Coach Susan Seay * “Safety is in you first. It’s the settled knowing that the Father resides within you. And what does He bring with Him? He brings peace.” - Certified Life Coach Susan Seay * “There are going to be misunderstandings, and if we can walk into a new relationship with that expectation, then maybe we will find that we can connect a little easier because we don’t expect everything to be perfect from Day One.” - Certified Life Coach Susan Seay * “Jesus is not formulaic, but He is practical.” - Jill E. McCormick * “When we see life through God’s eyes, we recognize that we are loved. We are accepted. We are whole in Him. We are loved in Him. And now we get to go and find the places where we can connect from that place.” - Certified Life Coach Susan Seay * “Friendships are a part of our self-care.” - Certified Life Coach Susan Seay * “Friendships are an important part of living a full and whole life.” - Certified Life Coach Susan Seay * “How can I be fully alive and fully abundant in my life while I am raising and caring for the needs of my children?” - Certified Life Coach Susan Seay * “Repressed emotions come out sideways.” - Certified Life Coach Susan Seay * “Acknowledge what is good within you.” - Certified Life Coach Susan Seay * “I think of community as the place where we feel seen… When I think of friendship, it’s not just where I feel seen. I feel the most like me.” - Certified Life Coach Susan Seay
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- Marco Polo
- Voxer
About Susan Seay To help us in the second episode of our Grace-Based Friendships series, we are talking with podcast host, international speaker, and Certified Life Coach Susan Seay.
Susan is the host of the highly-successful podcast Mentor for Moms, which is rated in the top 1.5% of all podcasts. Susan offers practical tools and loads of encouragement to busy moms who struggle with burnout and boundaries. Her aim is to help moms be better, not just do better.
As a wife and mom to seven, she deeply understands the everyday challenges moms face. Susan is a mentor to thousands of women across the globe.
As an international speaker and Certified Life Coach specializing in personal transformation, she enjoys engaging with large audiences at conferences, events, and retreats, as well as mentoring moms in small groups or one-on-one.
Here’s how to connect with Susan * Website * Instagram * Facebook * Podcast
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
How does your Enneagram type impacts what type of friend you are? Our goal here is for you to learn about how God wired you, but also for you to learn about those in your life so you can love them well, show them grace, and be the friend God created you to be.
You were created by God with your personality type by design for a specific purpose, so you can be the friend God created you to be to others and so you can be friends with God Himself.
For each Enneagram type, we’ll break down:
- Where you shine and struggle in friendship
- And healthy habits to help you grow.
You can also grab this free resource about what the Enneagram is, what it isn’t, and what you want to know about your personality type. Your Quick Start Guide to the Enneagram walks you through how to determine your type, what’s up with wings, and Enneagram resources you’ll want to check out.
Please know that I’m not an Enneagram expert, merely a lover of it. What I present to you is based on my own research, feedback from men and women of each type, and peer review.
Key Quotes * “You were created by God with your personality type by design for a specific purpose, so you can be the friend God created you to be to others, and so you can be friends with God Himself.” - Jill E. McCormick * “You are not your Enneagram type. You are God’s beloved. Part of a royal priesthood. A holy nation. God’s chosen possession.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Eights, if you want to grow in your friendships, practice being open-hearted. Walk in with the mindset that you don’t have to dominate the person or conversation, but that you can show up as you are.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Nines, if you want to grow in your friendships, challenge yourself to share a true feeling or opinion or preference with a friend.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Ones, if you want to grow in your friendships, challenge yourself to give one true, heartfelt compliment (not critique!) per day.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Twos, if you want to grow in your friendships, find one trusted friend and share one need with her. No matter how big or how small, share one way your friend can help.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Threes, if you want to grow in your friendships, please start with taking off your mask of fake fine. It’s okay to struggle. People will love you even more without the dog-and-pony show you put on.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Fours, if you want to grow in your friendships, remember that some of your friends are really comfortable digging deep and expressing every emotion, and some of your friends aren’t. And that’s okay.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Fives, if you want to grow in your friendships, think about partial solutions for friend-time. Maybe social time looks like striking up a conversation over Marco Polo or Voxer.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Sixes, if you want to grow in your friendships, remember that not everyone will be as committed, thoughtful, or responsible as you are. Don’t lower your expectations; just don’t give up on those who aren’t as invested as you are.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Sevens, if you want to grow in your friendships, find one or two trustworthy people and share a pain point with them.” - Jill E. McCormick
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- Episode #7: What the Enneagram is, what it isn’t, and why it’s important to your spiritual growth
- Your Quick Start Guide to the Enneagram
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
We’re talking about where God’s grace meets us in our anger. Anger is one of those dirty, little secrets no good Christian woman wants to talk about. We don’t like to admit that we can be so easily swayed into an emotion that triggers behavior that is so incredibly ugly.
And yet… we all get angry. Some of us give full vent to our anger, and some of us stuff it down, so it leaks out in weird ways in unrelated moments.
Amber and I talk through
- The two types of anger
- Whether it’s wrong to get angry
- And what to do with guilt when you reacted in anger.
Key Quotes * “God has allowed me to use my emotions to serve me, not enslave me.” - Author Amber Lia
* “We are to hate evil and sin and everything it stands for.” - Author Amber Lia
* “If we can start to see triggers as opportunities, instead of something for us to get mad and angry and reactionary about, then it changes everything.” - Author Amber Lia
* “I got tired of operating in the aftermath of chaos.” - Author Amber Lia
* “How does God draw us to repentance? Oh, it’s with His lovingkindness.” - Author Amber Lia
* “Conviction that is loving will catapult us toward love.” - Author Amber Lia
“If you’re just stuffing them down, you’re not allowing your emotions to serve you. Those emotions are still enslaving you.” - Author Amber Lia
* “Whatever our emotions are, there should be a healthy outlet for them.” - Author Amber Lia
* “We have to become advocates for our own lives and our own emotional health and well-being.” - Author Amber Lia
* “Anger is not your enemy, but you need to direct it toward your enemy.” - Author Amber Lia
* “Don’t heap shame on yourself if you struggle with anger.” - Author Amber Lia
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- Gentle Parenting with Amber and Wendy Facebook Group
- Find a counselor here
- Triggers by Amber Lia and Wendy Speake
- Parenting Scripts by Amber Lia and Wendy Speake
- Food Triggers by Amber Lia
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123: God, Grace + Emotions: Sustaining grace in grief with Lisa Appelo
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124: God, Grace + Emotions: Giving grace in anxiety and depression with J.S. (Joon) Park
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125: God, grace + emotions: Combatting shame with grace with Becky Leach
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126: God, grace + emotions: Overcoming guilt with grace with Sara Peters
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127: God, grace + emotions: Practical grace when you feel not enough with Richella Parham
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128: God, grace + emotions: The grace of joy with Kimberly Davis
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129: God, grace + emotions: Radical grace for your distracted, swirling brain with Jeanne Stevens
About Amber Lia To help us in today’s conversation, certified independent health coach, author, and boy-mom Amber Lia joins the show.
Amber is a work-at-home mom of four boys, ages 5 to 15. She and her husband, Guy, own Storehouse Media Group, a faith and family-friendly TV and Film production company in Chattanooga, TN.
Amber offers insight for all things health and wellness for anyone looking to live life to the full! When she's not building sand castles with her boys on the beach or searching for Nerf darts all over her house, you can find Amber writing to encourage families.
Here’s how to connect with Amber * Website * Instagram * Facebook * Amber and Wendy’s website
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
I know that you are a woman who wants to live with intentionality and presence. You want to show up for your people, and you don’t want to miss the good that God offers you right this very minute.
And yet… we can’t focus on where we are now because we’re thinking about that hard conversation we need to have next week, OR we are thinking about how unkind and mean to our mother we were our senior year of high school.
So how can we stay present? How do we leave distracted living behind?
Jeanne and I talk through
- How to know you’re living a distracted life
- Whether you can trust your emotions
- And what it means to be present in your real life.
Key Quotes * “God is like, ‘I made you the air traffic controller of your mind. You do not need to clear every thought for landing.’” - Pastor and author Jeanne Stevens * “A thought is harmless until we believe it.” - Pastor and author Jeanne Stevens * “I’m learning to work from love instead of for love.” - Pastor and author Jeanne Stevens * “‘No’ is a complete sentence.” - Pastor and author Jeanne Stevens * “Resentment in a relationship is a fast destroyer.” - Pastor and author Jeanne Stevens * “It is delightful to be in integrity in the ‘yes’s’ we give to one another because we can really live out of that radical grace.” - Pastor and author Jeanne Stevens * “It’s impossible to actually love people well if you haven’t learned how to love yourself.” - Pastor and author Jeanne Stevens * “Learning how to pay attention to ourselves is what’s going to give us the ability to know how to pay attention well to others.” - Pastor and author Jeanne Stevens * “You deny an emotion, you stuff an emotion, it’s going to come out, and it usually comes out sideways.” - Pastor and author Jeanne Stevens * “Denial is the worst kind of lie; it’s the lie you tell yourself.” - Pastor and author Jeanne Stevens * “Your body is actually a really faithful vessel to communicate what emotions are really going on inside you.” - Pastor and author Jeanne Stevens * “Worry is just living in a not-yet that’s worse than your now.” - Pastor and author Jeanne Stevens * “The ZIP code of God is the present.” - Pastor and author Jeanne Stevens * “What are you sensing in your body? What are you feeling in your heart? What are you thinking in your mind?” - Pastor and author Jeanne Stevens
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- Jeanne Stevens’s What’s Here Now?
- Mind Jogger app
About Jeanne Stevens To help us in today’s conversation, pastor, speaker, and author Jeanne Stevens joins the show.
Jeanne is the founding and co-lead pastor of Soul City Church in Chicago, one of America’s fastest-growing urban churches. Before starting Soul City Church, she was on the pastoral staff at Willow Creek Community Church and North Point Community Church.
Jeanne’s passion is to help people wake up to their purpose as they pursue a life of wholehearted freedom. Jeanne is the author of the newly-released best-selling book, What's Here Now? She lives in Chicago with her husband, Jarrett, and their two children.
Here’s how to connect with Jeanne * Website * Instagram
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
How can we experience more joy in our real lives? Our world seems bent on stressing us out, inducing anxiety, and making us worry.
Kimberly and I talk through
- What may be blocking your joy,
- Two lies you may believe about joy,
- And two easy ways to automatically increase your joy.
Key Quotes * “When I’m looking up, that’s when I experience God’s joy.” - Speaker Kimberly Davis * “Joy is a natural reaction to spending time with God in His presence.” - Speaker Kimberly Davis * “God’s influence on your life is grounded totally in spending time in His presence.” - Speaker Kimberly Davis * “We have every right and authority – biblical authority – to have joy because it is ours for the taking.” - Speaker Kimberly Davis * “You were bought with a price. You are chosen. And joy is definitely your birthright.” - Speaker Kimberly Davis * “I believe when God says He forgives us, He forgives us.” - Speaker Kimberly Davis * “Give yourself that grace: Joy is yours for the taking.” - Speaker Kimberly Davis * “When we work to protect ourselves and block ourselves from joy or people or experiences because we’ve been hurt in the past, we end up hurting ourselves even more.” - Speaker Kimberly Davis * “When you read the Bible, your life changes for the better.” - Speaker Kimberly Davis * “Life be lifen.” - Speaker Kimberly Davis
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127: God, grace + emotions: Practical grace when you feel not enough with Richella Parham
- Day Well Freebie by Kimberly Davis
About Kimberly Davis To help us in today’s conversation, speaker, writer, and host of The Wonderfully Marvelous Life Podcast, Kimberly N. Davis joins the show. While she wears many hats, her love for sharing the gospel with women is paramount.
Kimberly has served in women’s ministry for over nine years. She reaches a vast audience by speaking at conferences and virtual spaces through podcasting and social media. With guidance from the Holy Spirit, she creates safe places for women to uncover the complexities of who they are in Christ.
Kimberly is married to Clarence S. Davis, and they have one son.
Here’s how to connect with Kimberly * Website * Instagram * Facebook * Podcast
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Every area of my life is exposed to the toxic element of feeling less-than.
- In my writing, I feel like others are more reflective and thoughtful.
- On staff at our church, I feel like everyone else in staff meeting is more spiritually mature.
- In volunteering, I believe the other leaders connect better with the students.
So how can we handle feeling less-than in real life?
Richella and I talk through
- The difference between insecurity and a lack of confidence and humility,
- Healthy and practical ways to quit striving,
- And how to embrace community when you feel less-than.
Key Quotes * “Insecurity is a feeling of a lack of assurance about my identity.” - Richella Parham * “We want to avoid pride and arrogance, and we want to cultivate the Christian virtue of humility. And we think that self-deprecation and abasement is the way to get there.” - Richella Parham * “If only we could think as highly of ourselves as God thinks of us.” - Richella Parham * “Any plan to better ourselves based on distorted vision will not lead to the outcome we desire.” - Richella Parham * “Our memories are present realities. They are things we’re dealing with right now.” - Richella Parham * “Vulnerability may lead to embarrassment. Embarrassment is a survivable event.” - Richella Parham * “No one's demanding perfection from you today.” - Richella Parham
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123: God, Grace + Emotions: Sustaining grace in grief with Lisa Appelo
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124: God, Grace + Emotions: Giving grace in anxiety and depression with J.S. (Joon) Park
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125: God, grace + emotions: Combatting shame with grace with Becky Leach
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126: God, grace + emotions: Overcoming guilt with grace with Sara Peters
- Find a counselor here
- Subscribe for a chance to win a copy of Richella’s book Mythical Me
About Richella Parham To help us in today’s conversation, speaker and the author of the award-winning book Mythical Me: Finding Freedom from Constant Comparison Richella J. Parham joins the show.
She serves as Chair of the Board of Directors of Renovaré, a Christian spiritual formation ministry, and co-host of the Friends in Formation podcast.
With a birthmark covering more than a third of her body, Richella struggled from her earliest days with the feeling that she never measured up. She now applies her experience and training to help others break free from insecurity, clearing a path for struggling Christians to take hold of a life of confidence, compassion, and community.
Here’s how to connect with Richella * Website * Book * Instagram * Twitter * Renovare * Podcast
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Ever felt bad because you said “no” to the cell phone or sleepover for your child, even when you knew it was the right choice? Ever felt like The Worst parent because you work, even if it’s a financial necessity? Maybe you’ve been guilted into serving on the PTA Board or spending Christmas with your in-laws.
Guilt seems to stick close like a shadow. So how can we handle guilt in real life?
Sara and I talk through
- The difference between guilt and shame,
- How to tease out if your guilt is warranted,
- And signs you’re experiencing excessive guilt.
Key Quotes * “Guilt is produced when individuals evaluate their behavior as a failure.” - Licensed Professional Counselor Sara Peters * “Guilt often motivates us to seek restoration or repair in the relationship. Shame motivates the individual to hide and stay withdrawn.”- Licensed Professional Counselor Sara Peters * “Be open in feeling uncomfortable in asking yourself, ‘Where is this coming from?’” - Licensed Professional Counselor Sara Peters * “Guilt-tripping prevents healthy communication and conflict resolution.” - Licensed Professional Counselor Sara Peters * “Good boundaries are part of thriving relationships. Boundaries set in defensiveness, those can be harmful.” - Licensed Professional Counselor Sara Peters * “Are my actions or behaviors somehow justifying my goodness in the relationship?” - Licensed Professional Counselor Sara Peters * “We’re all going to be guilty of missing the mark, but if it starts spiraling into this piece of shame, I would ask, ‘Where is that self-condemnation coming from, and who does Jesus say that I am?’” - Licensed Professional Counselor Sara Peters * “Put the thought on trial.” - Licensed Professional Counselor Sara Peters * “Just because you think and feel things doesn’t mean it’s true.” - Licensed Professional Counselor Sara Peters
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#101: Spiritual Health: Hearing from God for freedom with Jennifer Barnett
About Sara Peters To help us in our conversation, Licensed Professional Counselor Sara Peters joins the show. Sara is a wife, daughter, sister, aunt, and life-long maker who always has a project in mind.
She and her husband can be found most Saturdays walking the local trail system with their two rambunctious dogs, Hank and Lacy. When she's not wrangling dogs, spending time with family, or making something, Sara is a licensed professional counselor and board-certified art therapist in San Antonio, Texas.
She specializes in working with adolescent and young adult women who are bravely confronting life's obstacles and discovering confidence, capability, and connection in the process. Sara also teaches art classes focused on the intersection of faith and self-expressive art.
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Shame is both an emotion and a weapon our enemy likes to use to distance us from God, others, and ourselves.
Friend, we all suffer from shame. Shame about what we’ve done – or haven’t. What was done to us – or what we did to another.
Becky and I talk through
- What shame is,
- When you feel like you’re too much,
- And how to move God’s love from your head to your heart.
Friend, please know this is a sensitive and tender episode as we discuss sexual abuse.
Key Quotes * “Saying this hard thing out loud didn’t destroy me.” - Speaker and author Becky Leach * “The way to combat shame is to stop focusing on ourselves and our situation, and to start focusing on the Lord instead.” - Speaker and author Becky Leach * “The first thing we need to do is not choose joy. The first thing we’re going to do is to choose belief.” - Speaker and author Becky Leach * “Jesus does not get mad at the sinners sinning. He does not get mad at the broken-hearted.” - Speaker and author Becky Leach * “In my darkest seasons, worship is what I want to bathe my soul in.” - Speaker and author Becky Leach * “Letting someone else in brings it to the light.” - Speaker and author Becky Leach
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- National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-4673
- The best books and resources to promote emotional health
- Brene Brown
- The Pivot by Becky Leach
About Becky Leach Artist, speaker, and first-time author Becky Leach joins the show. Becky lives in Texas with her high school sweetheart-now-husband, their three kids, and the newest addition to the bunch – Franklin – their beloved golden doodle.
Becky wants to use every chance she gets to testify to the freedom she's found by simply choosing to believe God. Becky was a victim of sexual assault as a child and teen, and hopes to advocate against abuse for the rest of her life.
Whether painting artwork for someone's home or writing a new chapter for her book, Becky's greatest prayer is that you don't see her but Jesus.
Here’s how to connect with Becky * Instagram * Website
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Friend, you may suffer from anxiety and depression, and you may not. This is a must-listen episode no matter what because I guarantee there is someone in your life who is struggling with these two emotions and diagnoses.
Joon and I talk through
- If anxiety and depression are a lack of trust in God
- What’s going on when you’re frustrated that you can’t snap out of your anxiety and depression
- And two powerful ways the Church can love those who are depressed and anxious.
Key Quotes * “Depression had a way of speaking about my value.” - Author, hospital chaplain, and pastor Joon Park * “Depression is about the past or things that are happening. Anxiety is about the future and what will happen.” - Author, hospital chaplain, and pastor Joon Park * “It’s not ‘If you really had faith, then you wouldn’t be depressed,’ but rather, ‘In my depression or in my anxiety, God, who was the very last rock I can cling to, brought me through that anxiety and depression.’” - Author, hospital chaplain, and pastor Joon Park * “As people showed up, God showed up.” - Author, hospital chaplain, and pastor Joon Park * “I collapsed in God’s arms.” - Author, hospital chaplain, and pastor Joon Park * “When we’re in it, it’s God With.” - Author, hospital chaplain, and pastor Joon Park * “There’s a push and pull between really needing community but also feeling like when they see me in pain, I kind of have to take care of them too.” - Author, hospital chaplain, and pastor Joon Park * “I learned to give a pass or a grace to those who are not with, or in, presence perfectly.” - Author, hospital chaplain, and pastor Joon Park * “People offer cliches to insulate themselves from inevitable loss.” - Author, hospital chaplain, and pastor Joon Park * “Just because I’m depressed doesn’t make me a bad Christian.” - Author, hospital chaplain, and pastor Joon Park * “Depression, anxiety, those things don’t determine who I am as a person.” - Author, hospital chaplain, and pastor Joon Park * “I am not what my anxiety and depression tell me I am.” - Author, hospital chaplain, and pastor Joon Park * “As we point to hope, not to rush to pull that eschatological curtain so fast, but rather being where the person is.” - Author, hospital chaplain, and pastor Joon Park * “Some people do need the theology, but most people do need the presence.” - Author, hospital chaplain, and pastor Joon Park
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- National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255
- The best books and resources to promote emotional health
- The Voices We Carry by J.S. Park
About Joon Park Hospital chaplain, published author, viral blogger, and teaching pastorJoon Park joins the show.
For seven years, he has been an interfaith chaplain at a 1000+ bed hospital that is designated a Level 1 Trauma Center.
His role includes grief counseling, attending every death, every trauma and Code Blue, and supporting end-of-life care. He also served for three years as a chaplain at one of the largest nonprofit charities for the homeless on the east coast.
J.S. has a Master’s of Divinity and a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology. He also has a 6th-degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do. He is the author of The Voices We Carry: Finding Your One True Voice in a World of Clamor and Noise.
J.S. currently lives in Tampa, Florida with his wife, a nurse practitioner, their one-year-old daughter, and dog.
Here’s how to connect with Joon * Instagram * Facebook * Twitter
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Maybe your grief is that a child leaves for college this month. Maybe it’s that your husband’s new job requires him to travel every week, so you feel like a single parent. Maybe you’re grieving the end of a long-time friendship.
As you listen, ask yourself, “What grief do I face today?” Then allow yourself the space and time to talk with your friend Jesus about it.
Lisa shares how:
- God’s grace sustains us in grief,
- It’s okay if you’re not “over” your grief,
- You can help your children navigate grief
- And SO MUCH MORE!
Key Quotes * “If we will do the hard work of grief, we can begin to see life flourish again in new ways.” - Author Lisa Appelo * “Grief was learning to live with the love and without my loved one.” - Author Lisa Appelo * “We don’t just dump out our emotions. The process (of lament) is to take those questions and emotions to God but then to say, “But I trust you.’” - Author Lisa Appelo * “Part of lament is just unburdening our heart.” - Author Lisa Appelo * “If we do not process grief on our terms now, it’s going to come back on its terms later.” - Author Lisa Appelo * “I couldn’t carry my children’s grief but that I would walk with them in it.” - Author Lisa Appelo * “When we mask grief or try to escape it or fake it, a lot of times, we can turn bitter because we haven’t allowed God to be sovereign.” - Author Lisa Appelo * “Grief takes up so much space.” - Author Lisa Appelo * “God doesn’t give us second best. He would never give His children leftovers of a life.” - Author Lisa Appelo
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- Five Little Peppers and How They Grew by Margaret Sidney
- Life Can Be Good Again by Lisa Appelo
- Episode 108: Processing grief when you’d rather avoid it with Katie Rössler
About Lisa Appelo Speaker, author, and Proverbs31 Executive Team Member Lisa Appelo joins the show.
Lisa inspires women to cultivate faith in life’s storms and is the author of Life Can Be Good Again: Putting Your World Back Together After It All Falls Apart.
A former litigating attorney, Lisa is passionate about rich Bible teaching. She writes at the popular site LisaAppelo.com, founded a team of writers at hopeingrief.com, and serves on the Executive Team for COMPEL with Proverbs31Ministries.
As a single mom of seven, Lisa’s days are filled with parenting, ministry, and long walks to justify lots of dark chocolate.
Here’s how to connect with Lisa * Instagram * Facebook * Website
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Can we agree that all of us are broken, wounded, and hurt in some way? Let’s spend some time together talking about raising kids as you heal from hurts.
In today’s conversation, Monet shares gracious truths and practical wisdom when you:
- Are an angry parent,
- Crave margin, but aren’t sure where to find it,
- And when you want to heal AND need to parent at the same time.
Key Quotes * “How do I raise a child and not be legalistic? - Wife, mom, writer, and entrepreneur Monet Carpenter * “Some days motherhood feels like a dumpster fire.” - Wife, mom, writer, and entrepreneur Monet Carpenter * “I’m not parenting alone and that it is also not all up to me.” - Wife, mom, writer, and entrepreneur Monet Carpenter * “I can be messy and I can be broken and I can be building and I can change my mind because I have the security of Christ.” - Wife, mom, writer, and entrepreneur Monet Carpenter * “Jesus, I love you, but I’m about to snap.” - Wife, mom, writer, and entrepreneur Monet Carpenter * “I am tired of being angry. This cannot be motherhood.” - Wife, mom, writer, and entrepreneur Monet Carpenter * “When we face discouragement because of an unmet expectation, I have to say, ‘But I did do…’ and then list the thing.” - Wife, mom, writer, and entrepreneur Monet Carpenter * “Where I already am in my day is an opportunity for community.” - Wife, mom, writer, and entrepreneur Monet Carpenter * “Community grows in all sorts of ways.” - Wife, mom, writer, and entrepreneur Monet Carpenter * “We enter motherhood and all relationships, broken.” - Wife, mom, writer, and entrepreneur Monet Carpenter * “We need to give permission for healing the happen in real time because that’s real life.” - Wife, mom, writer, and entrepreneur Monet Carpenter * “We were not created to know how to handle this brokenness.” - Wife, mom, writer, and entrepreneur Monet Carpenter * “Who is willing to show up and do real life?” - Wife, mom, writer, and entrepreneur Monet Carpenter * “If we can just be honest about a broken part of our story, it breaks down those assumptions and humanizes us and glorifies God.” - Wife, mom, writer, and entrepreneur Monet Carpenter * “Shame only has one motive and that is to destroy.” - Wife, mom, writer, and entrepreneur Monet Carpenter
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- Raising boys with Jasmine Holmes in Episode 117
- Raising girls with Licensed Professional Counselor Michelle Nietert in Episodes 118 + 119
- Raising children with special needs with Juli Henderson in Episode 120
- Raising kids as a single mom with Latasha Ferguson in Episode 121
- Enneagram One
- Purposed Box
About Monet Carpenter Monet lives in the messy, unspoken parts of life, openly and imperfectly. With the help of coffee and courage, Monet helps women live purposed and embrace wholeness despite busyness and brokenness. After enduring her own seasons of hardship and grief, Monet launched Purposed Box, a monthly subscription box, helping women encounter Jesus in their every day.
Here’s how to connect with Monet * Instagram * Facebook * Website
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Friend, whether you are single parenting or not, Latasha fills this conversation with the hard-fought wisdom that only Jesus can provide when He’s seen you through the trenches.
In today’s conversation, Latasha shares gracious truths and practical wisdom when you:
- Feel like God is mad or disappointed with you because of the choices you’ve made,
- Don’t pray because you feel ashamed,
- Struggle with an accusatory inner critic,
- Are overcome with bitterness by how your life is unfolding,
- And SO MUCH MORE!
I love how she reminded us to be bother-able, gave practical tools about healing, like journaling your true feelings for 10 minutes in a 99-cent notebook, and brought us back to the reality that God provides for us through His people.
Key Quotes * “Busyness helped me to have amnesia.” - Speaker + podcaster Latasha Ferguson * “God was chasing me the whole time.” - Speaker + podcaster Latasha Ferguson * “God was not ever disappointed in me. He was saddened. His heart was aching. He was calling after me. But He was always there with His arms open wide, saying, ‘Come.’” - Speaker + podcaster Latasha Ferguson * “My first form of therapy was journaling.” - Speaker + podcaster Latasha Ferguson * “Be bother-able.” - Speaker + podcaster Latasha Ferguson * “Accept the help.” - Speaker + podcaster Latasha Ferguson * “Just because there aren’t two parents in the home, doesn’t mean you have to be home 24/7, 365.” - Speaker + podcaster Latasha Ferguson * “Lord, you’ve given these kids to me but this village is going to help me raise them.” - Speaker + podcaster Latasha Ferguson * “God provides people. He blesses us through people.” - Speaker + podcaster Latasha Ferguson
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- Finding a counselor
- BetterHelp.com
- Enneagram Eight
About Latasha Ferguson Latasha cares deeply about equipping women leaders to live and lead from the inside out.
She is also a passionate educator who has spent the past 18 years serving in the roles of teacher, assistant principal, principal, and now director of instruction. She has also served as an associate pastor for almost a decade. Wife to her best friend and mom to four beautiful girls, Latasha loves to run, read, spend time at the beach, and travel in search of great food that hugs her belly.
Here’s how to connect with Latasha Instagram
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
When raising a special needs child, what practical ways will help you get through the day? How can you strengthen your marriage? What do you do when you cannot reconcile your good God allowing your child to suffer?
We’re in our Grace in Parenting series, and we’re talking all about raising special needs children with special needs advocate speaker, and writer Juli Henderson.
In our conversation, Juli shares:
- one simple, small way to build community,
- three ways to effectively advocate for your child,
- the importance of speaking life-giving words in the face of a hard diagnosis,
- and for those who aren’t raising special needs children, how to be a good friend and raise inclusive kids.
Key Quotes * “I don’t think we give people permission to actually mourn the things along the pathway.” - Special needs advocate, speaker, and writer Juli Henderson * “You can accept the things that are happening and receive them as a gift.” - Special needs advocate, speaker, and writer Juli Henderson * “If you’ll allow your friends to just see a part of your heart, they’ll want to see all of it, and they’ll want to be there for you.” - Special needs advocate, speaker, and writer Juli Henderson * “There are valleys that can just take the wind from you, but God didn’t go anywhere.” - Special needs advocate, speaker, and writer Juli Henderson * “Allow yourself the freedom to not understand.” - Special needs advocate, speaker, and writer Juli Henderson * “Your thoughts may grip your heart so tightly that you think you really are alone, but it's a lie. Don’t believe it.” - Special needs advocate, speaker, and writer Juli Henderson * “Trust just one person, and tell them what you’re really going through.” - Special needs advocate, speaker, and writer Juli Henderson
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- This Boy We Made by Taylor Harris
- The Essential Guide to Raising Complex Kids by Elaine Taylor-Klaus
- Juli’s Breathe Candle
About Juli Henderson Juli Henderson is the founder of In Our Arms Blog. A respected advocate and longstanding nonprofit board member serving those living with disabilities, Juli founded a private Facebook group in 2021 where individuals, families, and caregivers share resources and find support.
As the mother of a special needs child, she knows personally the need and value of such assets.
Here’s how to connect with Juli * Website * Instagram * Facebook
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
How can we help our daughters when they struggle with perfectionism? Body image? Negative self-talk? How can we help our daughters set boundaries and identify toxic friendships?
We’re in our Grace in Parenting series, and we’re talking all about raising daughters with Licensed Professional Counselor, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert. (We talk so much in fact, that this one conversation spans two podcast episodes!)
In this episode, Michelle:
- How to help your daughter stand up to a culture of mean,
- What to do when your daughter suffers from negative self-talk,
- Tools to help your perfectionistic child.
Key Quotes * “When we speak truth in love, it’s not a mandate that we speak truth to every human.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert * “You keep going even though your daughter rolls her eyes. She’ll probably sigh too.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert * “Your daughter is watching you.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert * “Wanting and needing your child to be an extension of you is narcissism.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert * “When it comes to perfectionism, we first model excellence, humility, and transparency.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert * “If it has to be perfect, it’s a problem. If you like it to be perfect, you might be made like that.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert * “Our kids cannot be driven by the fear of failure.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert * “The world is telling our kids you cannot afford a mistake. One thing on social media will destroy your career. One grade will destroy you. Those are lies. God can overcome anything.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert * “The minute our girls start being critical of themselves, we need to teach them what God says about them and then we need to teach them how to retrain their brains against what the world is telling them.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert * “The prayers of God’s people in the spiritual battle are so significant.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert * “There are some things our daughters are not going to learn under our roof.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert * “Be around people who are honest with their struggles.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert * “We are not really great friends until both of us have messed up and we have forgiven each other.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert
Mentioned in the Podcast
###### The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!
- Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay
- Melissa Spoelstra
- Raising Mentally Healthy Kids: Treating your child’s diagnosed eating disorder
- Becoming a Friend and a Lover by Dick Purnell
- For all Michelle’s media appearances + podcast episodes
About Michelle Nietert Michelle has been a licensed professional counselor for over 25 years and is the co-author of the award-winning book Loved and Cherished: 100 Devotions for Girls and Make Up Your Mind: Unlock Your Thoughts, Transform Your Life.
She leads a team of counselors as the clinical director of Community Counseling Associates in the Dallas, Texas area.
She is a frequent guest on national television and podcasts, including her own podcast: Raising Mentally Healthy Kids.
She and her husband Drew have been married for almost two decades and are raising two school-aged children.
Here’s how to connect with Michelle * Website * Instagram * Facebook * Twitter * Podcast
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
What are the top three struggles our daughters face today? How can we raise our daughters to root their identity in Christ? What lies is the world teaching our girls, and how can we combat those lies?
We’re in our Grace in Parenting series, and we’re talking all about raising daughters with Licensed Professional Counselor, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert. (We talk so much in fact, that this one conversation spans two podcast episodes!)
In this episode, Michelle:
- Reminds us that God speaks through His people, so it’s important to surround our girls with God-loving women
- Points out that our mental health as mamas directly impacts the mental health of our daughters
- And how our value was established 2,000 years ago.
To enter to win Michelle's books Loved and Cherished and Make Up Your Mind by being a subscriber to my newsletter. To subscribe, go here. One winner will be chosen at 1:15 p.m. CST on June 7.
Key Quotes * “We got in the habit of isolating and we’re still figuring how to get out of that.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert * “God works through people. Our kids need community with us. They need community with their extended family. They need community with their peers. They need community with other godly adults.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert * “As parents, we can listen, honor their reality, and provide hope.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert * “Our kids need to have hope that God is for them and He’s got them.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert * “One thing we need to be doing as mamas is making sure not only our daughters get life poured into them, but also the circle around them.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert * “Teach your girl to identify the lies the world is teaching them.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert * “A big lie Christian girls are taught is, ‘Say no to sex, drugs, and alcohol, but say yes to Jesus and the Church.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert * “You were created for a purpose but you can’t do it all at once.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert * “I don’t believe in balance; I believe in seasons.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert * “We are worth what someone pays for us. God’s Son giving His life for us gives us a lot of value nobody can steal.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert * “Our value was finished 2,000 years ago.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert * “Your daughter is going to inherit what you live, not what you believe.” - LPC, author, speaker, and podcaster Michelle Nietert
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- Enneagram Three
- Enneagram Nine
- Loved and Cherished by Michelle Nietert and Lynn Cowell
- Make Up Your Mind by Michelle Nietert and Denise Pass
- Brave Beauty by Lynn Cowell
- The Blessing by Dr. John Trent
About Michelle Nietert Michelle has been a licensed professional counselor for over 25 years and is the co-author of the award-winning book Loved and Cherished: 100 Devotions for Girls and Make Up Your Mind: Unlock Your Thoughts, Transform Your Life.
She leads a team of counselors as the clinical director of Community Counseling Associates in the Dallas, Texas area.
She is a frequent guest on national television and podcasts, including her own podcast: Raising Mentally Healthy Kids.
She and her husband Drew have been married for almost two decades and are raising two school-aged children.
Here’s how to connect with Michelle * Website * Instagram * Facebook * Twitter * Podcast
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
How can we raise our boys to be spiritual leaders? How can we love them well? What are the joys and challenges of being a boy-mom?
We are back with another round of the Grace in Parenting series.
To get the series started, author and boy-mom Jasmine Holmes joins the show. In our conversation, Jasmine shares:
- How to instill emotional vocabulary and cultivate emotional intelligence in our sons
- Ways to confront your child with a sin issue in a shame-free way
- And practical steps to train your son to be a spiritual leader when there isn’t one in the house.
Key Quotes * “In the Godhead, we have Father and Mother. We have that warmth and parental love and that care. I am being nurtured. I am being taken care of while taking care of my children, and I’m not just pouring from an empty cup.” - Author and boy mom Jasmine Holmes * “Teaching my oldest son how to steward it (his expressiveness and feeling deeply) instead of inadvertently teaching him to be ashamed of it is something I’m really committed to.” - Author and boy mom Jasmine Holmes * “I need supernatural nurturing, and God provides that.” - Author and boy mom Jasmine Holmes * “Community doesn’t always have to look like going and being a part of an energy-sucking environment. Sometimes it can just be inviting a friend to your safe space and into your safe environment.” - Author and boy mom Jasmine Holmes * “We want to make sure that our boys have more examples of godly men in their lives than just their dad because there’s more than one way to live life.” - Author and boy mom Jasmine Holmes * “Wanting to steward God’s creation well and wanting to show the love that God has for my son to my son well is something I return to over and over again in my raising of my boys.” - Author and boy mom Jasmine Holmes * “Breathe deep those beautiful parts.” - Author and boy mom Jasmine Holmes
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- Giveaway May: Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
- Introverts in the Church by Adam S. McHugh
- My Dungeon Shook by James Baldwin
Previous Grace in Parenting Podcasts * Episode #66: How your Enneagram type impacts your parenting * Episode #67: Easy and practical ways to give your kids grace * Episode #68: How to create a family shaped by grace in a conversation with Gary Morland * Episode #69: How to parent out of love, not fear with Kevin A. Thompson * Episode #70: Helping your kids enjoy Jesus with Kirk + Debbie Freeman * Episode #71: Creating a family culture where Jesus is woven into daily life with Kimberly Amici * Episode #72:Parenting with grace in the digital age with Mandy Majors
About Jasmine Holmes To help us as we raise boys, author and boy-mom Jasmine L. Holmes joins the show.
Jasmine is the author of Carved in Ebony: Lessons from the Black Women Who Shape Us and Mother to Son: Letters to a Black Boy on Identity and Hope.
She is also a contributing author for Identity Theft: Reclaiming the Truth of Our Identity in Christ and His Testimonies, My Heritage: Women of Color on the Word of God.
She and her husband, Phillip, are parenting three young sons in Jackson, Mississippi.
Here’s how to connect with Jasmine * Website * Instagram
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
How can we embrace and accept the body God gave us? I don’t know about you, but I have often wished for a body built very differently from mine. God gave me a body I keep wishing away.
So how do we accept and embrace the body God specifically picked for us? How do we find belonging in our own skin?
Key Quotes * “There was this nagging feeling that being different meant that I wasn’t quite enough.” - Author, speaker, and world-schooling mama Amber O’Neal Johnston * “Can I go to my friends and say, ‘There’s something in my home that’s horribly broken, and will you help me fix it?’” - Author, speaker, and world-schooling mama Amber O’Neal Johnston * “Invisibility is cancerous to children.” - Author, speaker, and world-schooling mama Amber O’Neal Johnston * “Be an ask-able parent.” - Author, speaker, and world-schooling mama Amber O’Neal Johnston * “Representation is life-giving.” - Author, speaker, and world-schooling mama Amber O’Neal Johnston * “We have to care as much about each other’s children as we do for our own.” - Author, speaker, and world-schooling mama Amber O’Neal Johnston * “Remain open-hearted to the idea that everyone’s experience is not the same as your own, and that what we can do most is listen.” - Author, speaker, and world-schooling mama Amber O’Neal Johnston * “Listen to the stories. Listen to the things people are telling us because behind those stories, they are letting us know what they need.” - Author, speaker, and world-schooling mama Amber O’Neal Johnston
About Amber O’Neal Johnston Amber O’Neal Johnston is an author, speaker, and world-schooling mama who blends life-giving books and a culturally-rich environment for her four children and others seeking to do the same.
She recommends we offer children opportunities to see themselves and others reflected in their lessons and especially throughout their books, and she’s known for sharing literary “mirrors and windows” on her platforms.
Amber is also the author of A Place to Belong, a guide for families of all backgrounds to celebrate cultural heritage, diversity, and kinship, while embracing inclusivity in the home and beyond.
Here’s how to connect with Amber O’Neal Johnston * Website * Instagram * Facebook * A Place to Belong book
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
If you are graduating, are the parent of a graduate, or if you’re moving into a new, unchartered season, this episode is for you. May the grace and truth Jesus has taught me be of help to your tender heart.
Key Quotes * In the midst of celebrations and attention and ceremonies, you can feel grief alongside the joy. * Can I tell you the best way to find your people? Figure out who you are. * You will bump up against this tension: I am new AND I hate feeling like it. The only way to the other side of being a rookie is through.
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- Become a subscriber by May 11, 2022, so you can enter to win the Chosen & Free Co earrings
- Resources to help you assess you
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Maybe you are like today’s guest and like me. I have mistreated my body over the years. I’ve deprived it of sleep and calories and nourishing foods. I’ve emotionally eaten my way through hard times, like – just one example here, there are many – when the girls were little and Ryan was out of town for w-e-e-k-s.
I have over-exercised by doing too much when my body was sick and too sore in an attempt to reach an arbitrary fitness goal. And I know I’m not alone.
In this episode, we are talking about how God redeems us and our broken stories after we’ve mistreated our bodies.
While this episode addresses disordered eating, it’s really about the lies we tell ourselves about our bodies and the truth God whispers back to us.
It’s about being weak and fragile and wounded, and a God who holds us in His almighty hands, telling us that His victory and strength are ours.
This is an episode about the redemption of every part of our story, including our body stories.
Key Quotes * “We have to put our spiritual radar up for an enemy that’s after the beauty of our souls.” - Speaker, author, women’s ministry founder Toni Collier * “We want to be healthy and take care of our bodies and acknowledge that they are not just some last-minute, last-resort part of us.” - Speaker, author, women’s ministry founder Toni Collier * “I need friends who point me to the cross and not social media or a simple self-care tip.” - Speaker, author, women’s ministry founder Toni Collier * “There’s a large percentage of healing that’s done when you just name the thing that has broken you.” - Speaker, author, women’s ministry founder Toni Collier * “When we feel seen and secure, we begin to follow.” - Speaker, author, women’s ministry founder Toni Collier * “The world sold us this false belief that it’s perfection that brings us success when really it’s surrender.” - Speaker, author, women’s ministry founder Toni Collier * “When I boast about the very thing that broke me, God gets the glory for the healing that comes thereafter.”- Speaker, author, women’s ministry founder Toni Collier * “It’s just God using a real crazy girl.” - Speaker, author, women’s ministry founder Toni Collier * “Oh, He really does use the broken.” - Speaker, author, women’s ministry founder Toni Collier * “God, could you help me to view you the way that You do?” - Speaker, author, women’s ministry founder Toni Collier * “Our Father in heaven wants to show us and prove to us that He loves all of us dearly.” - Speaker, author, women’s ministry founder Toni Collier * “Expect slow progress.” - Speaker, author, women’s ministry founder Toni Collier * “We heal so much better in community.” - Speaker, author, women’s ministry founder Toni Collier * “The healing journey is painful and not linear.” - Speaker, author, women’s ministry founder Toni Collier * “I’m in the alley, but I’ve got grit and I’ve got hope.” - Speaker, author, women’s ministry founder Toni Collier * “The resurrection has no power without death.” - Speaker, author, women’s ministry founder Toni Collier * “Let’s go on the painful journeys. Let’s be absolutely brave enough to be broken. And let’s watch God do a resurrecting, redemptive work in us.” - Speaker, author, women’s ministry founder Toni Collier
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- Purposed Box
- Give-away to enter win a free Purposed Box
- Enneagram Three
- Toni Collier’s Brave Enough to be Broken
- Association of Biblical Counselors
- American Association of Christian Counselors
- Global Counseling Network
About Toni Collier Toni Collier is the founder of an international women’s ministry called Broken Crayons Still Color, which helps women process through brokenness and get to hope.
She is a speaker, host, author of Brave Enough to be Broken, – a book that comes out this fall –and consultant who has helped organizations with creative marketing, leadership, student ministry, and strategic planning.
She’s had the opportunity to stand on stages like North Point Community Church, Chick-fil-A, IFGathering, Orange Conference, and MomCon.
She is a wife, mom, Texan, and a fellow Enneagram Three.
Here’s how to connect with Toni * Instagram * Toni’s Broken Crayons Still Color Instagram * Website * Facebook
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Aging with grace: What does it look like to be kind and compassionate to our physical bodies when they are not what they used to be? In our culture that values youth and abhors wrinkles, what do we do?
In this episode, we’ll walk through
- What we see in the mirror and feel in our bones
- What our emotions are telling us as we age
- How to age with grace
- And how to age with grace in front of our kids
Key Quotes * “Aging with grace means reminding ourselves of what God says is true and practicing the act of compassion in real-time.” - Jill E. McCormick * “We are far more accustomed to critiquing, criticizing, and labeling ourselves than we are reciting God’s words back to us.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Jesus was not called a Man of Sorrows and the God of all comfort because He only deals with happy people who never show discontentment.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Thankfulness is not a denial of reality or a white-washing of pain. It is the step that comes after addressing our grief, and it is a practice that reminds us of our dependence on God and His sovereign goodness toward us.” - Jill E. McCormick * “Agency is the third way – the grace-way – that’s the opposite of apathy and overexertion.” - Jill E. McCormick * “How we think of our bodies is a heart issue, and one need of the human heart is the need to be beautiful.” - Jill E. McCormick * “We can love and care and cultivate our beauty while not being obsessed with it.” - Jill E. McCormick
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- 20 resources so you can give your body grace
- Holderness Family: My 20s vs. My 40s Part 2
-
112: Grace + Your Body: Acting with compassion when your body is overloaded with Rebekah Fedrowitz
-
108: Processing grief when you’d rather avoid it with Katie Rössler
- Hillary L. McBride’s Mothers, Daughters and Body Image
- Jess Connolly’s Breaking Free from Body Shame
- KJ Ramsey’s The Lord is My Courage
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Let’s talk about being a grace-giver when your body is in a state of stress. There’s a reason you crave sugar when you’re stressed. There’s a way to tell when your stress has gone too far just as there’s a way to get off the hamster wheel of stress.
If you find yourself living in a body overloaded with stress, you’ll want to listen to the wisdom integrative wellness speaker, author, and educator Rebekah Fedrowitz offers you.
In this episode, we break down:
- What wellness is, really
- What’s going on when you’re tired but wired
- And how to break free of the stress-food-mood cycle.
Key Quotes * “Wellness is not just a measured state of our bodies, but an overall state of being.” - Integrative wellness speaker, author, and educator Rebekah Fedrowitz * “If you have to be doing to feel good, my friend, you’re headed for adrenal overload.” - Integrative wellness speaker, author, and educator Rebekah Fedrowitz * “Is this really how I was designed to live?”- Integrative wellness speaker, author, and educator Rebekah Fedrowitz * “You have to get to the root of the problem.” - Integrative wellness speaker, author, and educator Rebekah Fedrowitz * “It is not too late to get well.” - Integrative wellness speaker, author, and educator Rebekah Fedrowitz * “Take an honest look at your life.” - Integrative wellness speaker, author, and educator Rebekah Fedrowitz * “Where can you get support?” - Integrative wellness speaker, author, and educator Rebekah Fedrowitz * “Be honest with yourself about what you want and need.” - Integrative wellness speaker, author, and educator Rebekah Fedrowitz * “Find slowness. Find pauses. Find enjoyment, delight.” - Integrative wellness speaker, author, and educator Rebekah Fedrowitz * “Perfect is only as good as it is achievable.” - Integrative wellness speaker, author, and educator Rebekah Fedrowitz * “Your body is wise and is so gracious to communicate with you.” - Integrative wellness speaker, author, and educator Rebekah Fedrowitz * “We owe our bodies the respect they deserve.” - Integrative wellness speaker, author, and educator Rebekah Fedrowitz
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- Episode #22: Are you emotionally eating too?
- Find a professional nutritionist
- Being balanced in your nutrition podcast episode
- Being balanced in your diet resource
About Rebekah Fedrowitz Rebekah helps women identify, combat, and recover from adrenal overload, which is the stress-driven health syndrome that can lead to digestive, hormonal, and mental health challenges.
Her desire is to see women living in the abundant life and purpose God created for them.
Rebekah completed her Master’s diploma in nutrition from the Edison Institute of Nutrition and is Board Certified in Holistic Nutrition.
Rebekah is a co-author of Sister, Walk in Truth, the author of the cookbook, Healthy Gourmet for Everyday, and the host of the You Are Well Health Podcast.
Here’s how to connect with Rebekah * Website * Instagram * Podcast
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
If you have questions about how to live out the gospel or if sharing it freaks you out on the inside, this is your episode.
We’re walking through what it means to “live the gospel,” what that looks like for you in your inner life and what that looks like as you interact with others.
What does “living the gospel” actually look like? Let’s think of the gospel-life overflowing into two buckets:
- We live it inwardly by application.
- We live it outwardly by sharing.
Key Quotes * The life we are meant to live is the life of the gospel. * I intellectually understand that Jesus has forgiven me, that I make mistakes, that I’m not ever gonna get it right all the time, but have I forgiven myself?
Gospel-living means gospel-sharing.
- It is the mission of the Body of Christ to share the good news, so we work together as brothers and sisters to share the gospel, and that not one person is called to share the good news to all the people all the time.
- Sharing the gospel is the cherry on top, but it’s not the sole aim of every interaction we have.
- Our goal in gospel-life is not to share the good news ad nauseam so people avoid us and feel like they’re in for a multi-level marketing scheme. Our goal is to listen to the still, small voice of the Spirit and obey.
- God knows me and my weakness is welcomed. God loves me and invites me to fall back into His arms again and again. God accepts me, and His resurrection means all will be right in the end.
Previous Podcast Episodes Mentioned * #64: How to declutter your soul and renew your heart with Valerie Griffin * #104: Skill Set: Practicing faith + building trust in the Lord with Carrie Rogers
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Your body is pretty incredible, but what about when your body feels like it doesn’t like you or is actively working against you? How do you give your body grace when it feels like it’s betraying you? How can you be a grace-giver to your flesh, blood, marrow, tendons, and cells when you feel as if you’re surviving, not thriving?
I’m so thankful writer + cancer survivor Niki Hardy offered her Jesus-centered wisdom in Episode #110 of the Grace In Real Life podcast.
In our conversation, Niki shares:
- small steps to build your trust in God,
- practical ideas to help a friend who’s battling a disease
- and the four voices in your head + the one you should listen to the most.
Key Quotes * “God didn’t promise us perfect bodies, whether it’s stretch marks, wrinkles or cancer.” - Author + cancer thriver Niki Hard * “If I was going to trust God when things were hard, I had to plan to do it and learn to do it while things were easy because trusting God doesn’t come naturally.” - Author + cancer thriver Niki Hard * “God so wants to meet us in our pain and suffering. He’s not aloof. He’s not off helping someone more spiritual than us. He’s not angry.” - Author + cancer thriver Niki Hard * “God is desperate to minister to us, to be present to us, to give us His peace and His hope and His comfort.” - Author + cancer thriver Niki Hard * “God is such a gentleman that He will rarely barge in and take over. Our responsibility is to invite Him in.” - Author + cancer thriver Niki Hard * “We can offer our bodies grace by offering ourselves grace and not beating ourselves up.” - Author + cancer thriver Niki Hard * “Sit in the mess with them, in the pain, and not try to fix it or encourage them.” - Author + cancer thriver Niki Hard * “Life doesn’t have to be pain-free to be full.” - Author + cancer thriver Niki Hard * “Right in the middle of the mess, we can still live and experience the full, abundant life Jesus came to give us.” * “An abundant life isn’t about health and wealth and how eas life is, but it's about how intimate and precious and beautiful and how connected we feel with each other and with God and in His presence.” - Author + cancer thriver Niki Hard
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- Martin Seligman
- Niki Hardy’s Breathe Again
- Marissa Henley’s Loving Your Friends through Cancer
- C.S. Lewis’s The Chronicles of Narnia
-
104: Skill Set: Practicing faith + building trust in the Lord with Carrie Rogers
About Niki Hardy Niki is an author, speaker, and podcaster. More importantly, she’s a thriver, who's all about helping you squeeze the juice out of life no matter what gets thrown your way.
She’d rather run trails with her dogs than get her nails done, is sarcastic, mildly passive-aggressive, and prone to hissy fits when things get bad, but she’s thriving a little bit more each day and that’s her prayer for you too.
Here’s how to connect with Niki * Website * Instagram * Audio Devotional
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
We’re talking about viewing our bodies through the lens of grace. In this episode,
- I’ll share my body’s story
- What trips us up from treating our bodies with grace
- And what is true
Six mindsets we hold about our bodies: 1. Our bodies are machines designed to produce without getting sick, having feelings about anything, or needing rest. 2. We conflate our bodies with sin. 3. Our bodies are to be fixed. 4. Our bodies aren’t a safe place. 5. Our bodies are solely defined by how we look or from what disease we suffer. 6. Our bodies are that it is less important than our minds, emotions, will, and intellect.
What God says is true about our bodies Friends, Jesus values the body. Jesus values your body.
- Christ came to us as an unborn baby held, formed, and kept safe by the body of a woman.
- Jesus came to earth as a human with a physical body.
- We remember they are temples.
- Jesus’s desire is for us to care for our bodies and love them.
Will you share on Instagram what you've learned or how you're changing behaviors or mindsets through this series? Use hashtag #graceandyourbody
Key Quotes * I slowly started to disassociate my personality and emotions from my body. I came to view them as separate entities that happened to occupy the same space. - Jill E. McCormick * We experience how people treat us, talk to us, and invite us into their lives (or not) based on what is happening in our bodies. - Jill E. McCormick * For those of us who grew up in the Church, it seemed that the body was a mere necessity to carry around the all-important soul. That the goal was to whip our sinful, horrible bodies in shape so that our souls could get about the work of the kingdom. - Jill E. McCormick * Our bodies are so important to God, He literally deposited His Son into the body of a woman. Does that not blow your mind? - Jill E. McCormick * Because Christ lives within the very core of my being, I must ask, “How is a temple to be maintained? What is the purpose of the temple? How do I act when I’m in one?” - Jill E. McCormick * We were all created in God’s image, and there is no better image to be created in, ever. And there never will be. - Hillary L. McBride
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- Mothers, Daughters, and Body Image by Hillary L. McBride
- Grace In Real Life Podcast Episode #100: Spiritual Health: Imitating Christ as we suffer with author K.J. Ramsey
- Anatomy of the Soul by Curt Thompson
- This Too Shall Last by K.J. Ramsey
- The Quiet Collection by Emily P. Freeman
- 20 resources to give your body grace by Jill E. McCormick
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Grief comes to us for different reasons. Burying someone we love. Sending our firstborn to kindergarten. Signing the divorce papers. Packing our child’s room for college. Returning to work after years of staying at home.
Try-hard girls, we all experience loss and grief, yet so many of us push it away. Grief is found at the intersection of accepting our reality and letting go of expectations.
Oh, try-hard girls, we are masters at evading grief, but perhaps, friends, that mastery can end here today.
Here to offer us hope and help is today’s guest Katie Rössler.
This episode is the seventh and final installment in our Skill Set series, one in which we’ll take God’s wisdom and overlay it onto our real-life struggles so we can know what practical tools are at our disposal to help us overcome our struggles with God’s truth and grace.
Key Quotes * “Grief is an emotional, mental, and physical response to when life doesn’t go the way we thought it would or should.” - LPC and author Katie Rössler * “Grief is ever-present in motherhood.” - LPC and author Katie Rössler * “Facing and confronting our grief means we stop acting like everything is okay and are honest with ourselves.” - LPC and author Katie Rössler * “Grief is the norm, and we were never taught to sit with that.” - LPC and author Katie Rössler * “When it comes to hidden grief, what are the things I have to hide that I feel like I cannot show?” - LPC and author Katie Rössler * “Thank God we are complex human beings; we can have ‘and’ emotions. We can be sad and grieving and grateful.” - LPC and author Katie Rössler * “What’s wrong with a good cry?” - LPC and author Katie Rössler * “Somewhere along the line, we got really good at everything except for feeling our feelings.” - LPC and author Katie Rössler * “When we listen to god, we get the message: ‘Stop and feel this.’” - LPC and author Katie Rössler * “Your body’s been asking you to cry for weeks, maybe months, maybe years. So why not listen?” - LPC and author Katie Rössler * “Here’s what freedom actually feels like: this is what God was calling me to be and do.” - LPC and author Katie Rössler * “What does it mean if I’m not fine?” - LPC and author Katie Rössler * “Hold sacred space for yourself.” - LPC and author Katie Rössler * “Do you think you might be grieving?” - LPC and author Katie Rössler * “We need to not be ashamed for our grief and told to think positively.”- LPC and author Katie Rössler
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- LPC and author Katie Rössler’s The New Face of Grief
- Eric Carle’s The Very Hungry Caterpillar
Previous Episodes Mentioned * #101: Spiritual Health: Hearing from God for freedom with Jennifer Barnett * #106: Skill Set: Holding space for the mystery of God with Reverend Summer Joy Gross
About Katie Rössler Katie is a transformative grief guide and licensed counselor with 13 years of experience helping individuals, couples, and families. She is the author of The New Face of Grief and is on a mission to help people learn how to heal hidden grief in their lives. Katie is an ex-pat, wife, mom of three, and loves to be by the water to relax.
Here’s how to connect with Katie * Website * Instagram * Facebook
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
We try-hard girls are notorious for sacrificing our emotions on the altar of performance and productivity. We don’t have to look very far to see examples of powering through and soldiering on in order to get the job done.
Try-hard girls have an inexplicable need to be perceived as strong. Showing any feeling seems to signal weakness in our armor, leaving us feeling vulnerable.
Vulnerability is to be avoided at all costs.
Yet we know this isn’t right: that our relationships and hearts are paying the price of our avoidance. But we don’t know how to NOT carry on.
Here to offer us hope and help is today’s guest Nicole Zasowski.
This episode is the sixth installment in our Skill Set series, one in which we’ll take God’s wisdom and overlay it onto our real-life struggles so we can know what practical tools are at our disposal to help us overcome our struggles with God’s truth and grace.
Key Quotes * “Vulnerability is showing up as I am where I am and being willing to be seen and known in that place.” - LMFT and Author Nicole Zasowski * “There’s a difference between feelings being real and feelings being true.” - LMFT and Author Nicole Zasowski * “Pain comes from two different directions: It attacks our sense of identity, or it attacks our sense of safety.” - LMFT and Author Nicole Zasowski * “We cannot speak to what we will not name.” - LMFT and Author Nicole Zasowski * “The purpose of naming those feelings is not so that we stay stuck in them. It’s actually an essential first step to move through them.” - LMFT and Author Nicole Zasowski * “Vulnerability is best served with boundaries.” - LMFT and Author Nicole Zasowski * “Thanksgiving is our way of celebrating the gift with the Giver.” - LMFT and Author Nicole Zasowski * “Be vulnerable with your joy.” - LMFT and Author Nicole Zasowski * “Celebrating is the most natural response to God’s movement in our lives.” - LMFT and Author Nicole Zasowski * “Testimony of the victory God has shown in our lives are very important stories to tell.” - LMFT and Author Nicole Zasowski * “Amidst a painful, painful world, God is on the move and doing good things.” - LMFT and Author Nicole Zasowski * “Other people’s behavior is about their pain and not about your value.” - LMFT and Author Nicole Zasowski
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- Nicole Zasowski’s What If It’s Wonderful?
- Nicole Zasowski’s From Lost to Found
- Nicole Zasowski’s What If? Journal
About Nicole Zasowski Nicole Zasowski is a licensed marriage and family therapist and author of From Lost to Found and her new book, What If It's Wonderful?
As an old soul who wears her heart proudly on her sleeve, she enjoys writing and speaking on topics that merge her professional knowledge, faith, and personal experience. Nicole lives in Connecticut with her husband and three young children.
Here’s how to connect with Nicole * Website * Instagram
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” emai
So many of us struggle with our inability to quantify or measure God. While we appreciate His infinite nature and His lavish love and do not want to worship a God we can fully understand, we are far more accustomed to swimming in the sea of:
- Transactional relationships
- If this then that statements
- Of linear and logical progression; for example, When I work hard, I get the promotion.
In so many ways, our God is a mystery to us.
If you find yourself struggling to comprehend who God is; if you prefer data, knowledge, information, and cause-and-effect, you are in the right place.
Here to offer us hope is today’s guest Rev. Summer Joy Gross.
This episode is the fifth installment in our Skill Set series, one in which we’ll take God’s wisdom and overlay it onto our real-life struggles so we can know what practical tools are at our disposal to help us overcome our struggles with God’s truth and grace.
Key Quotes * “The Lord has infinite attention for each one of His beloved children.” - Rev. Summer Joy Gross * “God is even bigger than what He was able to put in black and white because He is a person.” - Rev. Summer Joy Gross * “We are invited to humbly, with curiosity, with joy, come before the Lord and say, ‘I want to know you. I want to get to know you, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.” - Rev. Summer Joy Gross * “That’s the adventure of our faith: that we get to come into relationship more and more fully.” - Rev. Summer Joy Gross * “We break other people without even meaning to because we are so broken.” - Rev. Summer Joy Gross * “The formula, ‘If I do this for you, God, you’ll do this for me, and my life will look like this’ has never really been true.” - Rev. Summer Joy Gross * “Information is not going to give us a relationship.” - Rev. Summer Joy Gross * “We have a God who wants to catch every tear in His bottle, who brings us onto His lap, who wants to create a hiding place for us in the midst of our suffering and pain.” - Rev. Summer Joy Gross * “Allowing the pain and questions and emotions you have come to the surface and lament is really, really vital.” - Rev. Summer Joy Gross * “Can we rest in the fact that the Lord is at work? That we can trust that He is at work? That we can place ourselves in His hands to be the leader?” - Rev. Summer Joy Gross * “We don’t give the Lord enough of the responsibility that’s actually his. We take it upon ourselves.” - Rev. Summer Joy Gross * “The Lord has an invitation – I believe one of the greatest invitations – to fall back into the arms of God more and more often.” - Rev. Summer Joy Gross
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- Swiss L’Abri
- Francis Schaeffer
- The Critical Journey by Janet Hagberg and Robert Guelich
- Lectio Divina
- The Chosen
- Ignatian Contemplation: Found by the Good Shepherd from The Presence Project Podcast
Previous Podcasts Mentioned * #101: Spiritual Health: Hearing from God for freedom with Jennifer Barnett * #104: Skill Set: Practicing faith + building trust in the Lord with Carrie Rogers
About Summer Joy Gross Summer Joy Gross is an Anglican priest and a spiritual director and loves to sit with people's hard and holy stories.
She is passionate about helping people find home base in the tender heart of God. She sets a table for women to attach to God through ancient contemplative practices and modern neuroscience.
She podcasts at The Presence Project and sends out a monthly mini-retreat by newsletter, which includes Lectio Divina videos and personal retreat ideas.
Here’s how to connect with Summer Joy Gross * Website * YouTube * Retreats + Teachings via Patreon * Instagram * Podcast
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Have you ever felt like you are both too much and not enough at the same time? That maybe you got the raw end of the personality deal? Do you feel afraid to be who you most fully are?
Sweet friend, if you can only see the downsides of your personality, take heart. If you wish that you could be more like somebody else, there’s hope.
Here to offer us hope is today’s guest Sarah E. Westfall.
This episode is the fourth installment in our Skill Set series, one in which we’ll take God’s wisdom and overlay it onto our real-life struggles so we can know what practical tools are at our disposal to help us overcome our struggles with God’s truth and grace.
Key Quotes * “Accepting who we are is learning to live into that nuance.” - Writer Sarah E. Westfall * “Who is God whispering me into becoming?” - Writer Sarah E. Westfall * “I don’t have to perform my way into the heart of God.” - Writer Sarah E. Westfall * “We spend so much time and energy trying to not be the bad versions of ourselves that we don’t lean into the virtue and strengths that we bring to the table.” - Writer Sarah E. Westfall * “Give yourself space to be who you are in light of who God made you to be.” - Writer Sarah E. Westfall * “I need relationships to continue to reflect the better version of myself.” - Writer Sarah E. Westfall * “The temptation when we decide, ‘I want to be more authentic’ is to confuse authenticity with transparency.” - Writer Sarah E. Westfall * “We can be who we are without sharing all of who we are.” - Writer Sarah E. Westfall * “Sometimes what is good for the room is for someone to take a risk and be a little bit vulnerable to free other people to do the same.” - Writer Sarah E. Westfall * “We are always becoming.” - Writer Sarah E. Westfall * “Relationships both with our self and other people requires a measure of perseverance.” - Writer Sarah E. Westfall * “When we give ourselves time to be authentic and transparent gradually, we build a really, really good foundation with people.” - Writer Sarah E. Westfall * “Accepting who we fully are is never going to be disconnected from who we are as a whole.” - Writer Sarah E. Westfall * “The more we are reflective and the more we pay attention, the more apt we are to see God’s answers in the midst of our daily life.” - Writer Sarah E. Westfall
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- Grace In Real Life Podcast Birthday Party Giveaway
- Episode #38: Real-life grace for the Enneagram Four with Sarah E. Westfall
- The Enneagram
- Pastor Steve DeNeff
- Strengths Finders
- Meyers-Briggs
- IF: Table
- The Monk Manual
Resources to help you learn more about how God wired you
- Four simple questions to embrace how God wired you
- 5 resources to help you assess you
- Why knowing how you’re wired helps you live out your purpose
- Questions to help you assess who you are right now
About Sarah E. Westfall A fan of good words and great conversation, Sarah E. Westfall is a writer, speaker, and director of community for hope*writers.
Her work explores faith and belonging and has been featured in publications such as RELEVANT, Fathom Mag, (in)courage, and The Joyful Life magazine.
At the end of the day, Sarah’s favorite place is with her people. She lives for slow Saturday mornings at home, sipping pour-over coffee with her husband Ben as their four sons play (very loudly). Sarah and her rowdy crew call Fort Wayne, Indiana home.
Here’s how to connect with Sarah * Website * Instagram * Sign up for Sarah’s email The Shelf
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
We want to grow our faith and trust in the Lord, but we aren’t sure exactly how to go about doing it. This isn’t an episode filled with platitudes and shoulds; it’s an episode about Christ meeting us in the hardest, most excruciating moments and in our daily, walking-around life.
This is an episode full of practicals.
This episode feels less like a conversation and more like a worship service.
Author Carrie Rogers shares what it looks like to trust in the Lord in your real life, what might be preventing you from doing so, and how trust is different from “let go, let God.”
This episode is the second installment in our Skill Set series, one in which we’ll take God’s wisdom and overlay it onto our real-life struggles so we can know what practical tools are at our disposal to help us overcome our struggles with God’s truth and grace.
Key Quotes * “Jesus does all the things that have to do with our faith. Trust is our invitation to step out in the faith He gives us.” - Author Carrie Rogers * “Trust gives our faith legs.” - Author Carrie Rogers * “Trust is the action to the thing we say we believe.” - Author Carrie Rogers * “Faith is gifted and grown, but trust builds.” - Author Carrie Rogers * “A lot of us are really good at practicing worry. We’re really good at practicing fear… so why don’t we switch that? Why don’t we get really good at believing who He says He is?” - Author Carrie Rogers * “Knowing God is actually the biggest step in growing our trust.” - Author Carrie Rogers * “If we really, really knew God, we would only be able to trust Him.” - Author Carrie Rogers * “As my view of God grew, my trust grew exponentially.” - Author Carrie Rogers * “If God wants to get a hold of us, He’s going to, one way or another.” - Author Carrie Rogers * “Walking through COVID, we released the outcome to God, and called Him good and faithful and holy and right in the whole process.” - Author Carrie Rogers * “What, today, can we do to practice our faith? Can faith be a habit?” - Author Carrie Rogers * “There is no substitute for time spent in His Word.” - Author Carrie Rogers * “We have to keep up with what we’re thinking about because that’s what guides our days.” - Author Carrie Rogers * “Even in those hard, horrible moments, His goodness abounds.” - Author Carrie Rogers * “Let God be the definer of it all and not our circumstances.” - Author Carrie Rogers * “My faith will never be perfect, but I can trust God increasingly.” - Author Carrie Rogers * “I needed to hear from people who would remind me of what is true and would not rehearse worry with me.” - Author Carrie Rogers * “We surround ourselves with truth-tellers.” - Author Carrie Rogers * “Resting in God and the truth of who He is and what He’s doing is very different than checking out.” - Author Carrie Rogers * “What has most profoundly changed my life is practicing living with Jesus and not for Jesus.” - Author Carrie Rogers
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- Eugene Peterson’s A Long Obedience in the Same Direction
- Grace In Real Life Podcast Birthday Party Giveaway
Want more of Him? Check out these resources:
-
82: Get Unstuck: Your thought life with Lauren Gaines
-
97: Spiritual Health: Studying the Bible with Amber Palmer
-
98: Spiritual Health: Praying to connect with the heart of Christ with Kimberly Coyle
- How to take thoughts captive when they don’t want to be caught
About Carrie Rogers Carrie Rogers is passionate about God’s Word and its practical impact on the lives of women. She is the founder of Carried Away Ministries, which seeks to encourage women of all ages to engage in a passionate pursuit of Jesus. Carrie has written several Bible studies and devotional books.
She and her husband, Erik, along with their three teenagers, reside in McKinney, Texas.
Here’s how to connect with Carrie * Facebook * Instagram * Website
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
If you’ve ever felt like “lowering your standards” was a four-letter word, you simply could not fail, or if you’ve felt resentful when your parenting/work/marriage isn’t progressing as you planned, listen in to writer Kristina Ward point you back to Christ.
Writer Kristina Ward tackles the frustration we feel when we aren’t meeting our own standards. Because of the truth, love, grace, and wisdom Kristina offers, this episode is perfect for those of us who think making one minor slip is equal to a total disaster.
This episode is the second installment in our Skill Set series, one in which we’ll take God’s wisdom and overlay it onto our real-life struggles so we can know what practical tools are at our disposal to help us overcome our struggles with God’s truth and grace.
Key Quotes * “How I have gained Christ and how He has met me, I wouldn’t trade for life going smoothly or perfectly.” - Writer Kristina Ward * “I’m changing every single day and Christ meets me right where I need and how I need it.” - Writer Kristina Ward * “Where are we putting our hope?” - Writer Kristina Ward * “God is bigger than it all.” - Writer Kristina Ward * “Our desires are meant to be satisfied in Christ and not in our outcomes.” - Writer Kristina Ward * “Dying to yourself is putting aside our understanding of what we think God wants for our lives and what He’s doing and just trusting what He’s doing.” - Writer Kristina Ward * “We don’t need to be ashamed at the foot of the cross.” - Writer Kristina Ward * “Can I trust God? Yes, I can. Is He faithful? Yes, He is.” - Writer Kristina Ward * “I can tell myself all of the right answers all day long, but it’s not going to do me any good unless I’m actually going to the Lord in my whole being, not just my mind, not just telling myself the answers, but actually physically turning to the Lord, mentally turning to the Lord, my heart turning to the Lord, and seeking Him first.” - Writer Kristina Ward * “It’s not my job to produce a certain outcome. That’s God’s work. My work is to worship Him above all else. To be faithful with what He’s given me.” - Writer Kristina Ward * “We don’t have to understand what He’s doing, but we can expect His sufficiency.” - Writer Kristina Ward
Mentioned in the Podcast
###### The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!
- How to take thoughts captive when they don’t want to be caught
-
82: Get Unstuck: Your thought life with Lauren Gaines
About Kristina Ward Kristina M. Ward is a pastor’s wife, mother of six, writer, and recovering idealist who believes that pain and blessing coexist.
As someone who loves counseling and discipling women, Kristina is passionate about nurturing weary hearts to find rest in Christ, and she helps others embrace the tension of being made new.
You’ll find her always taking pictures of the sky where she makes her home in Northern Minnesota with her husband of 18 years and their six children.
She loves a good story, honest conversation, and exploring the shores of Lake Superior.
Here’s how to connect with Kristina * Website * Instagram
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Why do we battle against receiving our enough-ness in Christ? What’s going on when we turn “shining our light” into a call to be Super-Jesus? What’s one simple way to receive our belovedness?
Listen in to this episode with counselor and author Rachael Gilbert as we tackle how not feeling enough leads us to shame ourselves, decide we must perfect witnesses for Jesus, and believe the false narrative that a life with Christ ALWAYS means choosing the sacrificial, hard, morally-obligated task even when we feel like we’re dying on the inside.
This episode is the first in our Skill Set series, one in which we’ll take God’s wisdom and overlay it onto our real-life struggles so we can know what practical tools are at our disposal to help us overcome our struggles with God’s truth and grace.
Key Quotes * “If you don’t like the fruit of a tree, you have to take a look at the root of the tree.” - Counselor + writer Rachael Gilbert * “Stop. Take a deep breath, and go back to Jesus.” - Counselor + writer Rachael Gilbert * “When I turn back to Jesus, all the shame, guilt, and everything I’m carrying melts away.” - Counselor + writer Rachael Gilbert * “The Lord will never ask us to do stuff that causes our own household to crumble.” - Counselor + writer Rachael Gilbert * “Your own household is your first ministry.” - Counselor + writer Rachael Gilbert * “When we do from a place of be, it feels very joyful.” - Counselor + writer Rachael Gilbert * “Just go be a kid. Just go sit at the Father’s feet.” - Counselor + writer Rachael Gilbert
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- The Bible Recap
- Grounding techniques
- To those who want to stop striving but don’t know how
- Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
About Rachael Gilbert Rachael Gilbert is a wife, mom, counselor, business owner, author (her book comes out March 2023), and podcast host of Real Talk with Rachael.
Rachael helps women find their voice and be brave enough to use it. She loves to have real conversations and help women live free so they can pursue their God-given dreams.
Here’s how to connect with Rachael * Website * Podcast * Instagram
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
How do we fear from the Lord? How do we know that it’s Him we hear and not just our own wishful thinking? What’s going on when we hear silence?
Author Jennifer Barnett shares the answers to these questions and more in the fifth and final episode of our Spiritual Health series.
Through this series, we’ve walked through five spiritual disciplines:
- Studying the Bible with writer Amber Palmer (Episode #97)
- Praying to connect with the heart of Christ with author Kimberly Coyle (Episode #98)
- Celebrating Sabbath with author Mark Buchanan (Episode #99)
- Imitating Christ as we suffer with author KJ Ramsey
- And hearing from God for freedom with author Jennifer Barnett
Key Quotes * “It’s an intimate relationship that produces freedom.” - Author Jennifer Barnett * “I loved God from a distance because I didn’t know how to get close.” - Author Jennifer Barnett * “God designed us to be able to hear from Him.” - Author Jennifer Barnett * “God’s words that bring conviction – we should cheer for because it means we can hear from Him and that He wants to restore us.” - Author Jennifer Barnett * “The enemy is really concerned when the people of God commune and abide.” - Author Jennifer Barnett * “Even the most seasoned, mature Christians still wrestle with the goodness of God.” - Author Jennifer Barnett
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- Grace In Real Life podcast’s 100th episode mega-giveaway
- Studying the Bible with writer Amber Palmer (Episode #97)
- Praying to connect with the heart of Christ with author Kimberly Coyle (Episode #98)
- Celebrating Sabbath with author Mark Buchanan (Episode #99)
- Imitating Christ as we suffer with author KJ Ramsey
- Jennifer Barnett’s First Freedoms
- Andy Reese and Jennifer Barnett’s Freedom Tools
About Jennifer Barnett Jennifer has founded and led Freedom Prayer teams in various cities and trained Freedom Prayer teams both in America and around the world.
She is co-author of Freedom Tools and author of First Freedoms.
As Executive Director of Freedom Prayer, she is passionate about training church Freedom Prayer ministries and partnering with organizations to equip the body of Christ in freedom.
Invested in long-term team-building relationships and church culture discipleship, she can often be found speaking and advocating for Freedom Prayer, knowing God, inner healing, and the Christian journey.
Jennifer resides in her beloved Nashville with her favorites - her husband, four children, and a dog named Chewie.
Here’s how to connect with Jennifer * Website * Facebook * First Freedoms book
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
How do we encounter our suffering without rushing ourselves through to God’s goodness? What is self-sufficiency really? How can we show our “honest sadness” to others?
Author K.J. Ramsey answers these questions and more in our fourth episode of Spiritual Health.
Through this series, we’ll walk through five spiritual disciplines:
- Studying the Bible with writer Amber Palmer (Episode #97)
- Praying to connect with the heart of Christ with author Kimberly Coyle (Episode #98)
- Celebrating Sabbath with author Mark Buchanan (Episode #99)
- Imitating Christ as we suffer with author KJ Ramsey
- And hearing from God for freedom with author Jen Barnett
Key Quotes * “Our Christ-emulating posture toward suffering needs to be one of with-ness.” - Author K.J. Ramsey * “It requires the sufferer and the friend to have courage to bear the awkwardness, the discomfort of our limitation that we’re human.” - Author K.J. Ramsey * “That desire to fix all of our own problems often is rooted in deep shame, that the broken and imperfect parts of ourselves are not actually worthy of love.” - Author K.J. Ramsey * “Every single part of us is already loved in Christ.” - Author K.J. Ramsey * “Self-sufficiency is our attempt to deal with our shame and remain lovable.” - Author K.J. Ramsey * “That’s always been the story: God comes toward us.” - Author K.J. Ramsey * “You deserve to be known. Do not give up on being known.” - Author K.J. Ramsey * “A lot of messaging in Christian culture is about evaluation rather than embrace of where we are and who we are.” - Author K.J. Ramsey * “A big part of growing up in Christ is learning how to tolerate love.” - Author K.J. Ramsey * “I like to think more about the spiritual discipline of awkwardness.” - Author K.J. Ramsey * “We need to practice being willing to do the awkward thing.” - Author K.J. Ramsey * “In American culture, being productive is the currency of belonging.” - Author K.J. Ramsey * “Every time pain screams out, it’s an invitation to belonging from my body.” - Author K.J. Ramsey * “Peace is physiologically incompatible with pushing ourselves and praying away our pain.” - Author K.J. Ramsey
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- Studying the Bible with writer Amber Palmer (Episode #97)
- Praying to connect with the heart of Christ with author Kimberly Coyle (Episode #98)
- Celebrating Sabbath with author Mark Buchanan (Episode #99)
- K.J. Ramsey’s This Too Shall Last
- The Tapping Solution app
- Enter to win the Grace In Real Life’s 100th Episode Mega-Giveaway
About K.J. Ramsey K.J. is a licensed therapist, writer, and recovering idealist who believes sorrow and joy coexist.
Her first book, This Too Shall Last, was published in 2021. Her writing has also been published in Christianity Today, RELEVANT, The Huffington Post, Health Central, Catalyst, and Fathom Magazine on the integration of theology, psychology, and spiritual formation.
She and her husband live in Denver, Colorado.
Here’s how to connect with K.J. * Instagram * Twitter * Website
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
How do you keep Sabbath when you’re a mom and constantly needed? What does Sabbath look like when you love working and taking a break sounds like The Worst? What do you do when kids’ activities interfere with Sabbath rest?
Author Mark Buchanan addresses these questions and so much more in the third episode of our Spiritual Health series.
Through this series, we’ll walk through five spiritual disciplines:
- Studying the Bible with writer Amber Palmer (Episode #97)
- Praying to connect with the heart of Christ with author Kimberly Coyle (Episode #98)
- Celebrating Sabbath with author Mark Buchanan – that’s today
- Imitating Christ as we suffer with author KJ Ramsey
- And hearing from God for freedom with author Jen Barnett
Key Quotes * “Sabbath is imitating God in order to remember I’m not Him.” - Author Mark Buchanan * “Sabbath is God inviting us into His own rest and coming to a fresh awareness of who I am and whose I am.” - Author Mark Buchanan * “The crowning act of creation is God stopping.”- Author Mark Buchanan * “It’s a lifetime project to deepen and anchor myself in the reality of the real, living, generous presence of God.” - Author Mark Buchanan * “The more we know God, the more we can turn off the noise in our heads.” - Author Mark Buchanan * “Busyness erodes our attentiveness.” - Author Mark Buchanan * “If I had to distill Sabbath to one practice, it would be: Pay attention.” - Author Mark Buchanan * “When you’re busy, it’s so easy to miss everything, including yourself.” - Author Mark Buchanan
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- Studying the Bible with writer Amber Palmer
- Praying to connect with the heart of Christ with author Kimberly Coyle
- Thornton Wilder’s Our Town
- Peter Scazzero’s Emotionally Healthy Spirituality
About Mark Buchanan Mark is an associate professor of Pastoral Theology at Ambrose Seminary. He enjoys scuba diving, fishing, and motorcycles.
He is the author of ten books, including his most recent novel David: Rise, which is Book One in a trilogy on the life of King David, and God Walk: Moving at the Speed of Your Soul.
He and his wife Cheryl lead New Story Community, a ministry that promotes the flourishing of Indigenous women.
Here’s how to connect with Mark * Website * New Story Community
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
How do you keep Sabbath when you’re a mom and constantly needed? What does Sabbath look like when you love working and taking a break sounds like The Worst? What do you do when kids’ activities interfere with Sabbath rest?
Author Mark Buchanan addresses these questions and so much more in the third episode of our Spiritual Health series.
Through this series, we’ll walk through five spiritual disciplines:
- Studying the Bible with writer Amber Palmer (Episode #97)
- Praying to connect with the heart of Christ with author Kimberly Coyle (Episode #98)
- Celebrating Sabbath with author Mark Buchanan – that’s today
- Imitating Christ as we suffer with author KJ Ramsey
- And hearing from God for freedom with author Jen Barnett
Key Quotes * “Sabbath is imitating God in order to remember I’m not Him.” - Author Mark Buchanan * “Sabbath is God inviting us into His own rest and coming to a fresh awareness of who I am and whose I am.” - Author Mark Buchanan * “The crowning act of creation is God stopping.”- Author Mark Buchanan * “It’s a lifetime project to deepen and anchor myself in the reality of the real, living, generous presence of God.” - Author Mark Buchanan * “The more we know God, the more we can turn off the noise in our heads.” - Author Mark Buchanan * “Busyness erodes our attentiveness.” - Author Mark Buchanan * “If I had to distill Sabbath to one practice, it would be: Pay attention.” - Author Mark Buchanan * “When you’re busy, it’s so easy to miss everything, including yourself.” - Author Mark Buchanan
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- Studying the Bible with writer Amber Palmer
- Praying to connect with the heart of Christ with author Kimberly Coyle
- Thornton Wilder’s Our Town
- Peter Scazzero’s Emotionally Healthy Spirituality
About Mark Buchanan Mark is an associate professor of Pastoral Theology at Ambrose Seminary. He enjoys scuba diving, fishing, and motorcycles.
He is the author of ten books, including his most recent novel David: Rise, which is Book One in a trilogy on the life of King David, and God Walk: Moving at the Speed of Your Soul.
He and his wife Cheryl lead New Story Community, a ministry that promotes the flourishing of Indigenous women.
Here’s how to connect with Mark * Website * New Story Community
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
What does it look like to connect with the heart of Christ through prayer? How do we do that in our real lives? How do we talk with God instead of at God?
To kick off this year, we’re in a new series called Spiritual Health. In it we’ll walk through five spiritual disciplines:
- Studying the Bible with writer Amber Palmer was Episode #97
- Praying to connect with the heart of Christ with Kimberly Coyle – that’s today
- Celebrating Sabbath with author Mark Buchanan
- Imitating Christ as we suffer with author KJ Ramsey
- And hearing from God with author Jen Barnett
In this conversation, Kimberly shares with us:
- A great prayer when you only have 5 minutes
- What’s going on when we wonder if we’re not hearing from God because we’re not doing it “right”
- The role of emotions in our prayer life,
- And how she’s retraining her brain.
Key Quotes
- “We don’t need to feel shame that we’ve prayed ‘wrong’ or that we’re not spending enough time in prayer.” - Writer Kimberly Coyle
- “Prayer is a much broader, more beautiful, more flowing experience than sitting down and having the formula or set time of day.” - Writer Kimberly Coyle
- “Prayer is returning to center.” - Writer Kimberly Coyle
- “Prayers become a habit of thought.” - Writer Kimberly Coyle
- “Sometimes we can miss what the answered prayer really is because it doesn't look like we expect it.” - Writer Kimberly Coyle
- “God is not afraid at all of our deep emotion.” - Writer Kimberly Coyle
- “Where are my spiritual eyes going?” - Writer Kimberly Coyle
- “Shake shame off.” - Writer Kimberly Coyle
- “There is no right or wrong, where prayer is concerned.” - Writer Kimberly Coyle
Mentioned in the Podcast
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- Centering Prayer App
- Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts
- Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
About Kimberly Coyle Kimberly is a freelance writer with an MFA in Creative Non-Fiction, and the author of
Borrowed Words: A Collection of Seasonal Prayers. She writes for women who want to live a more attentive and meaningful life through the lens of faith, story, and art.
When not writing, she teaches college writing at Fairleigh Dickinson University in New Jersey.
Here’s how to connect with Kimberly * Website * Instagram * Kimberly Coyle’s Borrowed Words
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
We’re kicking off the new year with a new series on the spiritual disciplines. My prayer for us is that through the Spiritual Health series we would grow in spiritual health.
That the habits you either establish or continue would bring hope and joy and peace and freedom.
That this year, you’ll continue to be transformed more and more in the image of Christ by these practices that shape who you are becoming.
In this interview, Amber shares with us:
- one easy step to take when you don’t have time to read the Bible
- what to do when you feel like you're not getting anything out of reading the Bible – like maybe complacency has set in,
- and what to do with the parts of the Bible we don’t understand or agree with.
Amber reminds us that God just wants to do life with us, that He doesn't require stillness or silence. You’ll leave encouraged to ask God those hard questions, and you’ll know how you can transfer studying the Bible so it doesn’t just stay as head knowledge but as Someone you experience.
Key Quotes * God is not waiting for me to get quiet to be with me. He’s always with me. - Amber Palmer * Your relationship with God is unique + not by the book. - Amber Palmer * Throw those expectations out the window. - Amber Palmer * God wants to be in your day with you. He’s not just in the quiet. He’s in the messy and the hard. - Amber Palmer * God is in there with you. Even though you don’t feel like you were with Him. He is with you always. - Amber Palmer * Not everything in the Bible is going to make sense to us. If it did, would God be as powerful and mighty as He is? - Amber Palmer
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- Joyce Meyer
- Verse Mapping Bible
- Verse Mapping with Kristy Cambron
- Matthew Henry Commentary
- Charles Spurgeon Commentary
About Amber Palmer Amber is a wife of 14 years and an easily overwhelmed mom of two kids.
She has a big heart for encouraging moms and helping them keep their eyes locked on Jesus. Through her writing, Amber hopes to glorify Jesus in the broken pieces and beautiful moments of motherhood.
Here’s how to connect with Amber * Website * Facebook * Instagram
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
We’ll enjoy together God’s word about the One who is the Word of God: straight Scripture telling of the birth of Christ. We are just enjoying Jesus in all His simple, glorious, swaddled beauty.
Because the story of the Son of Man and Son of God is the story of grace. Because grace is the person of Jesus, everything He does is grace.
Grace, grace, it is all grace.
We will revisit a well-worn story of a God who loves nearness with us, and whose hallmark and name bear His With-ness.
A story that started in the garden and ends in eternity. A story of a God who has taken the form of a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night, AND who put on flesh and dwelt among us. A story of the infinite turned infant.
A story of a God whose kingdom has come, is here now, and will be forever. A story of 400 years of silence broken by the cries of a baby. A story of a God who started His life in the trough of cows and who owns the cattle on a thousand hills.
This is our King!
This is the word of the Lord Our readings are from Luke 2:1-20 as we take in the joy of the shepherds, and Matthew 2:1-12 as we hear the story of the wise men. Both are read in the American Standard Version.
Advent Episodes * #94: Advent: The Lord is coming! * #95: Advent: The story of Mary + Joseph
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
We’ll enjoy together God’s word about the One who is the Word of God: straight Scripture telling of the birth of Christ. We are just enjoying Jesus in all His simple, glorious, swaddled beauty.
Because the story of the Son of Man and Son of God is the story of grace. Because grace is the person of Jesus, everything He does is grace.
Grace, grace, it is all grace.
We will revisit a well-worn story of a God who loves nearness with us, and whose hallmark and name bear His With-ness.
A story that started in the garden and ends in eternity. A story of a God who has taken the form of a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night, AND who put on flesh and dwelt among us. A story of the infinite turned infant.
A story of a God whose kingdom has come, is here now, and will be forever. A story of 400 years of silence broken by the cries of a baby. A story of a God who started His life in the trough of cows and who owns the cattle on a thousand hills.
This is our King!
This is the word of the Lord Our readings are from Matthew 1:18-25 as we discover Joseph’s story, and Luke 1:26-38 as we hear Mary’s story. Both are read in the American Standard Version:
Advent Episodes * #94: Advent: The Lord is coming!
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
We’ll enjoy together God’s word about the One who is the Word of God: straight Scripture telling of the birth of Christ. We are just enjoying Jesus in all His simple, glorious, swaddled beauty.
Because the story of the Son of Man and Son of God is the story of grace. Because grace is the person of Jesus, everything He does is grace.
Grace, grace, it is all grace.
We will revisit a well-worn story of a God who loves nearness with us, and whose hallmark and name bear His With-ness.
A story that started in the garden and ends in eternity. A story of a God who has taken the form of a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night, AND who put on flesh and dwelt among us. A story of the infinite turned infant.
A story of a God whose kingdom has come, is here now, and will be forever. A story of 400 years of silence broken by the cries of a baby. A story of a God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills and started His life in the trough of cows.
This is our King!
This is the word of the Lord Our readings are from Isaiah 7:14, 9:2-7, 11:1-5, 53:2-7, and 28:16 in the American Standard Version:
Upcoming Advent Episodes * Next week in Episode #95, we’ll read about how Joseph learned of Mary’s pregnancy and the angel’s announcement to Mary. * In the third and final week, in Episode #96, we’ll read about the shepherds and the wise men.
Key Quotes * Jesus’ birth story is the story of the infinite turned infant. * Jesus’ birth story is the story of a God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills and started His life in the trough of cows.
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Whether you’re an empty nester or a newlywed; Whether you’re a mom or littles or teens; or whether you’re a single adult going home for the holidays, this episode is for you because we break down how to love people well and navigate family dynamics into four different categories:
- How to navigate differences
- What to do when you feel unsafe
- How to hold hard conversations well
- And making plans with love.
In this interview, Wendy gives guidance about:
- How to navigate conversations about gift-giving when families have different budgets and mindsets about gifts,
- What grace looks like when your family is unkind
- How to start hard conversations when you know the other party won’t like your answer
- And how to balance family personalities, when one side plans way ahead and the other makes last-minute plans.
Remember that Wendy is offering general advice that isn’t specific to your family or situation, so if you’d like further clarification or support, please seek out wise Christian counseling.
Question breakdown by timing: * 15:05: How do we navigate conversations about gift-giving and budgets? * 18:25: How do we handle it when a distant, older family member gives the opposite parenting instruction then we might give at a family gathering? * 21:05: What do we do when Uncle Buster goes off on his latest political beliefs; ones we do not hold? * 25:51: What does grace look like during the holidays when family members are unkind toward us and we don't feel safe around them? * 37:50: When a member of our family is navigating a hard situation but she doesn’t talk about it, should we bring it up if only to say we’re here to love and serve OR do we keep quiet until that family member brings it up? * 42:30: What do you do when a family member monopolizes and dominates a conversation? * 45:55: What do you do when a family member tells us all our faults? * 54:25: How can we say “no” to an event that feels life-draining to us, but is super-important to the host? * 59:50: How do we handle balancing both families: one side of the family plans months in advance while the other side does not? * 1:03:45: For empty-nesters who want to spend time with their adult kids, but those kids make plans at the last minute, and the last-minute-ness stresses them out, how can they approach their adult kids in love?
Key Quotes * “Christmas is a challenge because we are supposed to pause from our work, and instead, we find there is more work.” - Licensed Professional Counselor Wendy Barnes * “We must, as Christ-followers, make sure we are creating time and space for ourselves to be refreshed in His love for us.” - Licensed Professional Counselor Wendy Barnes * “It’s okay to assert our own preferences.” - Licensed Professional Counselor Wendy Barnes * “We don’t need to succumb to the preferences of a distant relative at the Christmas table.” - Licensed Professional Counselor Wendy Barnes * “Move beyond self-preservation.” - Licensed Professional Counselor Wendy Barnes * “Run to the Lord with your feelings and receive His validation.” - Licensed Professional Counselor Wendy Barnes * “It requires two reasonable people to be able to have constructive conflict.” - Licensed Professional Counselor Wendy Barnes * “Can we meet grief with more compassion, love, and understanding, and not be offended?” - Licensed Professional Counselor Wendy Barnes * “We don’t take offense because we allow it to fall on Jesus.” - Licensed Professional Counselor Wendy Barnes * “Determine for yourself how you will keep your peace.” - Licensed Professional Counselor Wendy Barnes
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- Join Jill’s private Facebook group to shape the podcast
- Counseling resources
- People Problems by Dr. Alan Godwin
- Unoffendable by Brant Hansen
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21: Decision-Making in Hard Seasons: Did I really hear from God or is that just me?
-
34: How to be a grace-giver this election season
About Wendy Barnes Wendy is Jesus lover, a wife of 22 years, mom of three (including 2 adult children and a middle schooler), and a licensed professional counselor of 20 years.
She works with teens and adults, and is passionate about people walking in the fullness of freedom Jesus purchased with his life.
She enjoys family time, plants, reading, and bargain shopping.
Previous Podcast Episodes Mentioned * #89: Reduce Christmas stress with these sanity-saving tips customized for your Enneagram type * #90: When all doesn’t feel merry + bright [Holiday Series] * #91: How to slow down without opting out with Jodi Grubbs [Holiday Series] * #92: Our God of tables and togetherness [Holiday Series]
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
For those of us in America, we know this Thanksgiving week boils down to two realities:
- Turkey
- Thankfulness
As we gather with people we love most dearly in the whole world and with people who drive us crazy and hurt our feelings, and we break bread and carve a turkey, and share what we are thankful for, let us know deep in our bones that what we are doing -- this act of gathering and eating with people made in the image of God -- is the gospel of grace.
Grace is God's gift to us in the person of Jesus, who understands our humanity and comes alongside us to work on our behalf.
When you gather in community and when you listen with sacred attention, you receive grace. You live grace. You proclaim the gospel of grace.
When you eat with thankfulness, you enjoy the food, delight in the flavors and traditions and memories as a means of celebration and connection and rest, and you receive grace. You live grace. You proclaim the gospel of grace.
We care for each other through food. We love each other by gathering together. We become healed and whole in relationship. We celebrate who we are becoming as we sit at a table. We give thanks for what the Lord has done.
Key Quotes * God will delight and laugh and cherish the time we spend with heads bowed, hands clasped, bellies full, and hearts thankful to Him who provides all, from whom all blessings flow, and who gives all good gifts. * God made you for this: for a table, for community, for relishing all the flavors He created, and to taste and see and sit with the goodness of the gospel of grace.
Mentioned in the Podcast * Valerie Griffin * Rebekah Fedrowitz * Sarah E. Westfall
Previous Podcast Episodes Mentioned * #38: Real-life grace for the Enneagram Four with Sarah E. Westfall * #75: Hormones + Grace: Let’s get real * #89: Reduce Christmas stress with these sanity-saving tips customized for your Enneagram type * #90: When all doesn’t feel merry + bright [Holiday Series] * #91: How to slow down without opting out with Jodi Grubbs [Holiday Series]
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
How can you practically slow down without opting out during the holidays? What does it look like to create a sustainable pace, and where do you even start? I’m so glad you asked.
In this interview, Jodi shares with us: * What stands in our way as we move toward slow living * A simple process to help you figure out what’s important to you * And -- my personal favorite -- how to say “no” without actually saying “no.”
I love how Jodi said that checklists are okay and we can add slowing down to them and how she reminded us to invite people into the slowing down process so we’re not doing it alone.
Key Quotes * “Slow living is finding life rhythms and a sustainable pace that works for you and your family.” - Writer + Podcaster Jodi Grubbs * “The holidays don’t have to be all or nothing.” - Writer + Podcaster Jodi Grubbs * “Own the idea that you’re in charge of your life, and the busyness and hustle aren’t in charge of you.” - Writer + Podcaster Jodi Grubbs * “Our bodies are not meant to produce and produce and produce without rest, without pausing, without fun.” - Writer + Podcaster Jodi Grubbs * “During the holidays it’s really important to have perspective about your bandwidth.” - Writer + Podcaster Jodi Grubbs * “We just want permission to slow down.” - Writer + Podcaster Jodi Grubbs * “The way I’ve always done things may not be good for slow living.” - Writer + Podcaster Jodi Grubbs
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- Facebook group
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84: Get Unstuck: Expectations with Heather Bjur
- Sarah E. Westfall
- Enneagram Nine
About Jodi Grubbs Jodi is a lingering coffee conversationalist and slow living advocate. She lives outside of Raleigh, North Carolina, and shares a 1952 bungalow with her husband and teen daughter. As a former island girl, she is passionate about coming alongside women who long for that shift to slower living.
She’s a writer & the host of Our Island in the City Podcast, where she loves conversing with her guests about faith, ordinary soul care, and deep community.
Here’s how to connect with Jodi * Instagram * Podcast * Newsletter
Previous Episodes Mentioned * #89: Reduce Christmas stress with these sanity-saving tips customized for your Enneagram type * #90: When all doesn’t feel merry + bright [Holiday Series]
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Do you ever feel fleh? “Fleh” is a completely made-up word in our house used to describe when Ryan or I feel off.
We use it when there’s nothing big going on, no major life changes, but there’s still a sadness that’s settled over our souls. What do we do when all doesn’t feel merry and bright?
In this episode, we’re walking through:
- Where we typically look to determine what’s rumbling in our souls causing us to feel off
- The “if only” statements we beat ourselves up with
- And where God is in the midst of all our mess.
When we feel off, we look for the source, and there are two places we typically look. 1. We look internally. 2. We look externally.
But in our looking and reflecting, we may fall into one of these three “if only” traps. 1. We tell ourselves: If only, I could name what’s troubling me. 2. We tell ourselves: If only, I had more faith. 3. We tell ourselves: If only, I was more grateful.
Here are two truths to remember when you don’t feel merry and bright: 1. We are humans, and God is God. 2. God doesn’t expect humans to hold themselves together. That’s His job.
Key Quotes * The God we love loves us back. He is always with us. He is One of mystery. And He alone holds all things together…even our hurting hearts. * Even a weak faith rests on a mighty Savior who holds us in His strong hands. * Perhaps our lack of feeling like ourselves is our unsettled soul’s way of speaking to us. * Our blessings do not negate the sadness we feel.
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- Facebook group
- Association of Biblical Counselors
- American Association of Christian Counselors
- Global Counseling Network
- Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Previous Episodes Mentioned #89: Reduce Christmas stress with these sanity-saving tips customized for your Enneagram type Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
What stresses you out about Christmas? Is it trying to meet your expectations and those of others? Or maybe it's trying to do All The Things so people will think you're amazing? Or maybe you find Christmas stressful because you're out of your routine and just hate small talk?
Each Enneagram type has a different stressor during the holidays.
So what is your big stress, and how can you celebrate the birth of our Savior in a healthy way?
Listener, for the month of November, we are getting our hearts and minds geared up to look for Christ in all things, to be healthy and whole, and to act out of love, not fear or obligation.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- your Enneagram type’s default agenda at Christmas-time,
- what that looks in your real life,
- and three ways to enjoy a healthy Christmas.
Skip to your type by these time-stamps: * Type Eight: 4:29 * Type Nine: 6:29 * Type One: 7:59 * Type Two: 10:05 * Type Three: 11:55 * Type Four: 13:45 * Type Five: 15:56 * Type Six: 17:54 * Type Seven: 19:43
Key Quotes * “Ask your friend Jesus for the gift of awareness: awareness of your needs, the needs of others, and your need for Him.” * “You don’t have to opt-out or go all-in, you can move through Christmas at a moderate pace by doing what you enjoy.” * “You’re not responsible for keeping everyone happy because each person is responsible for their own happiness.” * “You’re not being selfish as you practice self-care. You’re simply giving the best you possible to others when you take care of your heart, soul, and mind.” * “Ask your friend Jesus to give you wisdom about where to exert your time and energy.” * “Ask your friend Jesus to show you what activities and the number of commitments that are realistic for you and your family this season.” * Mentioned in the Podcast
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- Facebook group
- Your Quick Start Guide to the Enneagram ebook
- How to Stay Sane on Social Media freebie
- Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
- Gift ideas for every Enneagram type
- Learn more about Jill speaking at your event
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
I have a few dreams sprouting in my heart. You have dreams too. Dreams like starting a non-profit, adding a little girl to your family, taking people on high-adventure tours to enjoy God’s creation, going to work at a job that fills your heart and uses your gifts, and owning your own bed and breakfast-- just to name a few.
All of us have dreams. All of us hold hopes in our hearts. I’m talking about the in-your-gut, I-can’t-escape-this-desire kinda hopes. But it seems like for every dream, desire or goal we have, we experience the fear of naming it.
In this episode, we’ll talk through:
- Why you fear naming what you most want
- What God says about your dreams and desires
- And spiritual practices to lead you back to the heart of Christ.
It’s important to remember that our giftings, what we most deeply want, who we most fully are, are all training for what’s to come; it’s all a dress rehearsal for heaven.
Naming your dreams today gives you practice for eternity.
Trusting God with your dreams builds your faith.
Building community as you launch your dreams gives you a taste of heaven.
Key Quotes * One of the main reasons we are afraid to name what we want is because we have an enemy who -- while not omniscient or omnipresent -- is not stupid, but crafty, and he aims his lying arrows at our God-dreams, so we’re too afraid to pursue them. * Trying to stuff down your dreams leads to a soul shriveling on the vine. It just doesn’t work, and it leaves us frustrated, tired, envious of those chasing their dreams, and restless. * What you want is what you want because God planted it there. Your desires are a part of God’s design. * The Bible is a story of desire. * Naming what we most want means we lean into our identities as daughters of the Creator, who dreams and does and delights. * Our Heavenly Father doesn’t give us a passion or dream to tease us or ignore us.
Mentioned in the Podcast
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- The Journey of Desire by John Eldredge
- To Bless the Space Between Us by John O’Donohue
- Dream Big by Bob Goff
- She Speaks Conference
- The Next Right Thing podcast: Episode 196
Previous Episodes * #55: Delete + Reset: Productivity, Exhaustion, and Balancing Your Passions with Christa Hutchins * #84: Get Unstuck: Expectations with Heather Bjur * #86: Your Enneagram type’s biggest fear and God-centered habits for peace * #87: Navigating the fear that our kids will miss out
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Our kids fear missing out when they don’t have social media, aren’t invited to certain social activities, don’t have our permission to date, aren’t allowed to watch movies, and can’t go to slumber parties, and so on and so on forever.
On the other hand, moms fear that our kids will miss out but on different phases of life: we may want them to say “yes” to every invitation, volunteer opportunity, or resume builder. Fear and parenting seem to go hand-in-hand. The good news is that it doesn’t need to be this way.
In this episode, we talk through:
- The fears of missing out that our kids hold
- The fears of missing out that we mamas hold
- God-centered questions to help us process through this fear
- What opportunities these fears give us
- And what we hope our kids never miss out on.
What we mamas fear our kids will miss out: * on church activities and birthday parties our kids are invited to because: What if today’s “no” means being missing out tomorrow or next year? Or what if our kiddos can’t joke around about that awesome thing that happened at the party because they opted out? * by not participating in sports. We haven’t signed them up because they don’t like sports, but what are they missing by not being a part of a team? Or being able to talk about “last night’s game” because they weren’t there? * on success. We fear their failure, if they don’t get the best grades, or join the right groups, or do the volunteer work that we know colleges look on favorably. What if our child has no interest in being a part of the National Honor Society or volunteering at the animal shelter, but we KNOW that these are exactly the resume builders colleges expect?
So what is true? 1. Truth #1: God wired community and a desire to be with others into our DNA. 2. Truth #2: God doesn’t want anyone excluded either. 3. Truth #3: God invites His people to live a set-apart life.
Two God-centered questions to process the fear * “What is the driving factor here?” * Emily P. Freeman often poses this question: “Am I being led by love or bullied by fear?”
If we fear that our kids will miss out, may it be missing out on the love and journey the Lord specifically picked out for them.
Key Quotes * We fear that if our kids fail, we’ve failed too. * The set-apart, sanctified life is a conspicuous, easily-ridiculed, not-always-invited kinda life, which can be hard for a mama to watch and hard for your children to live. * If we fear that our kids will miss out, may it be missing out on the love and journey the Lord specifically picked out for them. * What does leaning into love for your child, in this moment, at this stage of life look like? * When we live a Spirit-led life, we may only know our next step, but when we lean into love, one step is all we need. * Our child’s struggles are a part of their story that God wants to use for their good and His glory.
Mentioned in the Podcast * Emily P. Freeman
Previous Episodes Mentioned * Episode #72: Parenting with grace in the digital age with Mandy Majors [Grace in Parenting series] * Episode #85: Get Unstuck: Mom Guilt * Episode #86: Your Enneagram type’s biggest fear and God-centered habits for peace
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Whether we like to admit it or not, we live with a chronic case of low-grade anxiety. We disguise our fear and call it stress, but we know what it really is.
The great news is that we don’t have to live this way. We can break free from fear and live in the abundant peace, hope, and joy God promised us.
So let's learn about fear through the lens of the Enneagram. What is your type's greatest fear, and what God-centered habits will help you live a life of peace?
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- your Enneagram type's biggest fear,
- why you fear it,
- how worry show up in your everyday life,
- and God-centered habits for shedding that fear.
Grab this free resource about what the Enneagram is, what it isn't, and what you want to know about your personality type. Your Quick Start Guide to the Enneagram walks you through how to determine your type, what's up with wings, and Enneagram resources you'll want to check out.
Skip to your type by these time-stamps:
- Type Eight: 3:00
- Type Nine: 5:17
- Type One: 8:03
- Type Two: 11:07
- Type Three: 14:04
- Type Four: 16:48
- Type Five: 19:04
- Type Six: 21:24
- Type Seven: 23:48
Mentioned in the Podcast * 5 resources to help you assess you * Inner Critic Challenge * Free printable with insights about your biggest fear + three spiritual disciplines to help you conquer it
Previous Episodes Mentioned Episode #7: What the Enneagram is, what it isn’t, and why it’s important for your spiritual growth
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Maybe you don’t struggle with the desire to be a perfect mom, but you want to be a good mom, and you’re beating yourself up with negative thoughts every time you “fail.”
Perhaps you feel like you could do better, that you’re not doing enough, that you’re failing in all the ways, or your previous mistakes are irredeemable.
Mamas struggle with carrying the weight and responsibility of loving, teaching, and caring for our kids, and we desire to do the best possible job.
Today, we’re talking about getting unstuck from thinking you’re a bad mom and must be the best, most awesome, most perfect mom for your kids, so instead, you can be the Jesus-expression of you in the world.
In this episode, we’re going to break down:
- All The Unhealthy Thoughts swirling in your head about motherhood
- And how I become unstuck from believing I was a terrible mother with some principles and spiritual practices that helped me.
Key Quotes * No, you’re not perfect. And yes, you can grow and thrive and live light + free. * Can we agree that beating up our hearts, rehearsing all the ways we’re failing, and promising to be a better mom tomorrow are not good for our hearts? * Your God wants you free and light. * His burden is light and His yoke is easy. Will you take it?
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- Grace for the Good Girl by Emily P. Freeman
- PropheticHeartHealing.com
- Heart to Heart Prayer Ministries
- Association of Biblical Counselors
- American Association of Christian Counselors
- Global Counseling Network
- Inner Critic Challenge
- 10 parenting books for moms who hate parenting books
Previous Podcasts Mentioned * Episode #21: Decision-Making in Hard Seasons: Did I really hear from God or is that just me? * Episode #81: Get Unstuck: Your identity in Christ with Jen Babakhan * Episode #82: Get Unstuck: Your thought life with Lauren Gaines * Episode #83: Get Unstuck: Shame with Heather Davis Nelson * Episode #84: Get Unstuck: Expectations with Heather Bjur
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
What’s the difference between being selfish and living into the Jesus-expression of who you are? How can you tell when you’re living under the weight of unhealthy expectations? How have we misinterpreted “dying to self”?
Today we are talking about unhealthy expectations, and don’t we try-hard girls struggle with expectations? We think about them less as ill-fitting and heavy standards and more as “just what we are supposed to do.”
We hold expectations about:
- How we’ll crush our goals,
- How we will measure up to “Good Mom” status,
- How many calories are acceptable,
- And about 1,000,001 other things like:
- what Christmas morning will be like,
- when we’re allowed to say “no,”
- even how popular or talented or smart our kids will be,
- and how close we’ll be with our spouse.
So what does God say about expectations?
- God offers invitations; He is not a demanding Father.
- God says that He delights in you because you are IN HIM, not because you incorporate every best practice.
- God says you are allowed to relax and rest in His sovereignty, not your striving.
The parts that stick out to me from this conversation with Heather are:
- “The inability to deal with other people’s freedom” -- in other words, getting frustrated and irritated when people don’t react like I want them to
- Her grace-filled way of looking at “dying to self,” so that we die to the parts of the flesh that push us to keep up our image or feed our people-pleasing nature.
- And how Jesus is happy with us all the time, simply because we are found in Him.
Key Quotes * “The inability to deal with other people’s freedom is a wake-up call.” - LMFT, Certified Spiritual Director, and Writer Heather Bjur * “The goal is to be hopeful, prayerful, and yet open-handed.” - LMFT, Certified Spiritual Director, and Writer Heather Bjur * “When I parent not how I’m wired… that’s when things go wonky.” - LMFT, Certified Spiritual Director, and Writer Heather Bjur * “Honoring our own souls has so much more to do with our heart than where our pocketbook or actions are.” - LMFT, Certified Spiritual Director, and Writer Heather Bjur * “If we’re primarily operating out of obligation, that’s a warning sign.” - LMFT, Certified Spiritual Director, and Writer Heather Bjur * “To die to self means to die to the self inside of me, the flesh that says, ‘I have to do this because I’m a Christian.’” - LMFT, Certified Spiritual Director, and Writer Heather Bjur * “We have so much more freedom than we even realize.” - LMFT, Certified Spiritual Director, and Writer Heather Bjur * “God is so much bigger than our legalism and our rules.” - LMFT, Certified Spiritual Director, and Writer Heather Bjur * “I get to walk in grace. I get to walk in love. I get to walk in freedom. I get to be Spirit-led.” - LMFT, Certified Spiritual Director, and Writer Heather Bjur * “Because we are found in Him, Jesus is happy with us all the time.” - LMFT, Certified Spiritual Director, and Writer Heather Bjur * “What would it look like to relax?” - LMFT, Certified Spiritual Director, and Writer Heather Bjur * “God, You’re big enough and good enough to handle me in all my different stages of disappointment, anger, rage, and depression.” - LMFT, Certified Spiritual Director, and Writer Heather Bjur * “I don’t want to do God’s work for Him.” - LMFT, Certified Spiritual Director, and Writer Heather Bjur * “Open-handedness is me showing up as me,” - LMFT, Certified Spiritual Director, and Writer Heather Bjur * “When I do All The Things, I sacrifice my relationships, my sanity, my soul.” - LMFT, Certified Spiritual Director, and Writer Heather Bjur
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- hope*writers
- Inner Critic Challenge
- Dane Ortlund’s Gentle and Lowly
- Northwestern Christian Writers Conference
- How to break free from our destructive expectations
- How to stop expectations from ruining this Christmas
- How unmet expectations are actually a gift
- Episode #38: Real-life grace for the Enneagram Four with Sarah E. Westfall
- Episode #57: Delete + Reset: Slowing down, releasing expectations, and creating an unhurried heart with Jennifer Dukes Lee
- Episode #81: Get Unstuck: Your identity in Christ with Jen Babakhan
- Episode #82: Get Unstuck: Your thought life with Lauren Gaines
- Episode #83: Get Unstuck: Shame with Heather Davis Nelson
- Association of Biblical Counselors
- American Association of Christian Counselors
- Global Counseling Network
About Heather Bjur As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and a Certified Spiritual Director, Heather is drawn to the depth and richness of the human soul.
Words like desire, lament, connection, and restoration describe just a bit of the way she engages the world. Leaning heavily on the Holy Spirit, her heart is to come alongside those who have been wounded in relationships.
She leads with curiosity, affirmation, and grace, as it is in the presence of these gifts that she found healing as well. On a constant quest for growth and maturity, Heather believes we can only take people where we've been.
She currently practices at True North Counseling Center in Fargo, North Dakota, where her therapeutic focus is freedom from codependency and emotional legalism.
She lives in western Minnesota with her husband, Chris, and her two boys, Elijah and Ezra.
Here’s how to connect with Heather Bjur * Website * Podcast * Instagram * Facebook
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
What’s the #1 way to get unstuck from shame? How are shame, conviction, and guilt different? And what are the two main default responses to shame, and how do you get unstuck?
Today we are talking about shame, and y’all shame is a place so many of us have stayed stuck.
We can feel shame about anything and everything. We can feel shame about:
- The choices in our past like having an abortion, committing adultery, or having sex before marriage,
- what our body looks like (or doesn’t),
- our parenting: what we allow, what we don’t, what rules we enforce, how much sugar is consumed, and how much screen-time we allow,
- and about 1,000,001 other things like our housekeeping or how many unanswered emails are glaring at us from our in-box or that we haven’t had a quiet time in a week; we feel like all these “lapses” point to how we don’t have it all together in a world that demands that we do.
But what does God say about shame? Grace says shame is not yours to carry.
Grace says Jesus nailed your sins to the cross and you bear them no more.
Grace says God doesn’t need an unblemished canvas to create a masterpiece.
Grace says shame doesn’t exist in the light of God’s complete, overwhelming, and eternal presence.
In this episode, Heather: * reminds us that God’s words are words of love and we can trust the Spirit to convict us; we don’t need to go looking for shame. * offers one next step you can take when you feel stuck in the shame of your past, * and shares freedom to all of us mamas who feel shame about every choice we make.
Key Quotes * “Shame is pervasive to identity and becomes interconnected with how you view yourself.” - Author Heather Davis Nelson * “Shames loves darkness and isolation. Anytime we begin to talk about it, its power begins to go away.” - Author Heather Davis Nelson * “Setting the lies of shame against the truth of scripture begins to change our hearts and minds.” - Author Heather Davis Nelson * “We’re doing the best we can, and tomorrow is a new day.” - Author Heather Davis Nelson * “So what does it look like to start off tomorrow thinking, ‘I’ve got new mercies today?’” - Author Heather Davis Nelson * “It’s about tuning out the crowd and cacophony of noises and tuning into the Spirit’s voice.” - Author Heather Davis Nelson * “God’s words are words of love, and if there are specific things, He’ll convict me of that. I don’t have to live out of this vague sense of ‘not good enough.’” - Author Heather Davis Nelson * “You can’t be afraid of making mistakes when you come to the canvas.” - Author Heather Davis Nelson * “The shame you’re dealing with is not from God. The way to fight it is to shine light.” - Author Heather Davis Nelson
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- Episode #81: Get Unstuck: Your identity in Christ with Jen Babakhan
- Episode #82: Get Unstuck: Your thought life with Lauren Gaines
- Bible Study Fellowship
- Association of Biblical Counselors
- American Association of Christian Counselors
- Global Counseling Network
- Unashamed: Healing Our Brokenness and Finding Freedom from Shame by Heather Davis Nelson
- Grace says shame is not yours to carry
- How Comparison Leads to Shame, Fear, and a Faulty View of God
- How do I know if I’m doing enough? (And other questions I’m asking myself)
- What God says about your messy past
- How to stop beating yourself up after you make a mistake
About Heather Davis Nelson Heather (Davis) Nelson grew up in Greenville, South Carolina, where she returned in 2017 with her husband, Seth, who's a dean at Erskine Seminary, and her twin daughters who are in 5th grade.
She ventured to the Chicagoland area for undergraduate studies in education at Wheaton College, and then to Philadelphia for graduate school at Westminster Theology Seminary, where she earned her M.A. in Biblical Counseling in 2007.
For more than a decade, Heather has counseled women, couples, and families through a variety of life’s struggles, including depression, anxiety, recovery from abuse, marital and family conflict, cross-cultural missions debriefing, and identity + calling.
Heather is also the author of Unashamed: Healing Our Brokenness and Finding Freedom from Shame and Domestic Abuse: Help For Victims
She enjoys family bike rides on the Swamp Rabbit Trail, coffee, reading, writing, and exploring the revitalized downtown of Greenville.
Here’s how to connect with Heather * Twitter * Facebook * Website
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
How can you get unstuck from a negative thought life? What do you do when your thoughts seem to spiral?
We’re in our second installment of the four-part Get Unstuck series. In this series, we’re tackling where try-hard girls struggle most:
- our identity in Christ in Episode 81 with Jen Babakhan
- our thought-life
- shame
- and expectations
To help us get unstuck from a thought life that isn’t always kind, true, and helpful, writer Lauren Gaines joins the show!
In this interview, Lauren shares with us:
- three questions to ask yourself when your thoughts spiral,
- what to do after you’ve taken a thought captive,
- and how to get your thought life off auto-pilot.
I love how Lauren:
- reminded us of the importance of spending time in God’s word so we can play offense in our thought life,
- shared that our negative thoughts are actually communicating to us,
- and how she offered practical strategies when we start spiraling.
Key Quotes * “Does my thought line up with God’s Word?” - writer Lauren Gaines * “God has the final say and authority about who we are.” - writer Lauren Gaines * “The more we say the truth, the more it really becomes a part of who we are.” - writer Lauren Gaines * “The more we spend time in God’s presence and with Him, we start to embody who He is.” - writer Lauren Gaines * “Look at the blessing side of it.” - writer Lauren Gaines * “That negative thought is telling me something.” - writer Lauren Gaines * “Really laugh with your kids once a day.” - writer Lauren Gaines * “It takes time to change pathways in our brain.” - writer Lauren Gaines * “Study who the Bible says you are.”
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- Compel
- Daniel Tiger
- iBreathe
About Lauren Gaines Lauren Gaines is the creator and author of Inspired Motherhood, an online community designed to refresh, renew and equip mothers to raise up the next generation in love and courage.
Lauren has a unique take on parenting as a busy mom of three kids, who also happens to hold a master’s degree in School Psychology.
She deeply understands the mental overload modern-day mothers feel. Lauren has a passion to equip women to lead emotionally and spiritually healthy lives right now, not one day in the future.
Here’s how to connect with Lauren * Website * Instagram * Facebook
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
In this bonus, special edition episode, we’re talking about 9/11 and how God meets us in the face of national trauma and personal loss.
To help us walk through what it was like to work one of the 9/11 scenes and how she saw God’s provision in those hard days, former crime scene photographer for the FBI, Jen Combs joins the show.
In today’s episode, Jen:
- shares her story about photographing the hijacker’s car a few hours after the attacks,
- worked 18 days straight at various locations to photograph evidence,
- opens up about what it was like to be a single mom whose job required her to go to work on the most traumatic of days,
- and how God’s grace met her in the horror and hardship that day in all the days since 2001.
Key Quotes * “God is in everything. He’s in all our moments.” - Former FBI photographer Jen Combs * “God’s hands are always steady.” - Former FBI photographer Jen Combs * “Keep showing up in your time with God.” - Former FBI photographer Jen Combs * “I can’t be with people today, but I’m going to be with you, Lord.” - Former FBI photographer Jen Combs * “The truth is God sees everything, which brought me so much peace. I no longer had to keep searching for that person who understood.” - Former FBI photographer Jen Combs
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
The #1 struggle of try-hard girls is living out of our identity in Christ. When we don’t operate from this foundational truth, we are prone to:
- Being rushed and feeling frantic on the inside,
- Trying to do All The Things,
- Getting caught up in perfectionism + people-pleasing,
- And wondering if we’re doing enough.
We’re kicking off a new series today called Get Unstuck. In this series, we’ll tackle where try-hard girls struggle most:
- Our identity in Christ,
- Our thought-life,
- Shame,
- And expectations.
To help us get unstuck with false beliefs about our identity, author Jen Babakhan joins the show! In this interview, Jen shares with us:
- Why you struggle with accepting your identity in Christ,
- How to be honest with God,
- And ways to find your tribe.
Enter to win a copy of Jen’s book, Detoured If you’d like to win a copy of Detoured, just leave a review of the podcast on iTunes. Once you’ve written a review, send me a screenshot by 9 p.m. CST on Tuesday, September 14. I’ll pick a winner and announce it in my weekly newsletter the good + the grace!
Key Quotes * “We are souls wearing human bodies.” - Author Jen Babakhan * “If you did not a single thing, it wouldn’t change that you are a beloved child of God.” - Author Jen Babakhan * “It’s a scary thing to step into an unknown place, but it’s not unknown to Jesus.” - Author Jen Babakhan * “God’s plan is bigger than anything I can do for myself.” - Author Jen Babakhan * “The space the tears make and the sadness allows Jesus to come in and do His healing work, which He’s so good at.” - Author Jen Babakhan * “Healing is God’s jam.” - Author Jen Babakhan * “Sometimes getting honest with God means beings silent.” - Author Jen Babakhan * “Jesus loves honesty.” - Author Jen Babakhan * “God didn’t create you to be somebody else. He wanted you. So if He wanted you, be you.” - Author Jen Babakhan * “You have to know what you want to cultivate in your life.” - Author Jen Babakhan * “Who am I to go to God and say, ‘What you’ve given me is not the right thing.’?” - Author Jen Babakhan
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- Emily P. Freeman
- Enneagram Three
- Beth Moore on Twitter
- Francis Chan
- Mark Batterson
About Jen Babakhan Jen is an author living in California with her husband and two young sons. She is the author of Detoured: The Messy, Grace-Filled Journey From Working Professional to Stay-at-Home Mom. Jen is also a contributor for Reader’s Digest and Guideposts, and her work has been featured in various national news outlets.
Here’s how to connect with Jen Babakhan * Website * Instagram * Facebook * Twitter * Jen’s book, Detoured
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Whether your husband travels a lot, works late or unpredictable hours, or is deployed, this episode was designed just for you.
We’re breaking down what’s it like for the dad who’s away a lot and practical systems for the mom keeping things afloat.
To help us navigate this topic, my husband Ryan McCormick joins the show.
In this interview, Ryan and I talk about:
- the hardest part of traveling for both of us,
- how we frame Ryan’s work for the girls,
- what hasn’t worked for us,
- and practical systems we have in place to help us navigate a dad who’s away.
You’ll learn:
- what habits help when dad comes home
- and how to stay on the same page even when you’re geographically separated from your spouse.
Key Quotes * “Being supportive is the biggest thing.” - Traveling dad Ryan McCormick * “Realign your expectations with reality.” - Jill E. McCormick * “It’s okay to have a bad day.” - Jill E. McCormick * “It’s going to be okay.” - Jill E. McCormick
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- To Bless the Space Between Us by John O’Donohue
- Brittany Spencer, graphic designer
- Your Quick-Start Guide to the Enneagram ebook
About Ryan McCormick Ryan is my husband of 22 years, best friend, the cutest guy I know, and the greatest dad to our two girls. The nature of his job pulls him away for travel or for unpredictable and odd hours. He knows what he’s talking about when we talk about dad being gone.
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
We’re talking about how to be kind to you when you start anything new. This could be a new season, a new job, a physical move… anything that’s new.
If you’re ready for a deep exhale as you feel the panic, grief, and overwhelm of a new season, listen in.
In this episode, we’re breaking down:
- What you’re feeling
- What’s changing
- And what’s true.
So no matter when you listen to this or what change is taking place -- maybe it’s a promotion or a new homeschool curriculum or a dynamic at home like a husband who’s been working from home and is now returning to the office --I want you to be kind and compassionate to yourself.
But how? In the middle of all the craziness, it seems like we only have time to survive, not figure out how to be gentle with our hearts, plans, and people.
Here are 5 gentle + practical ways to be kind to yourself: 1. Think of this new season as a science experiment. 2. Remember that you will figure it out. 3. Draw boundaries. 4. Reach out to friends who will help you verbally process what you’re feeling and who don’t believe they need to fix it. 5. Take a pause. 6. Align your priorities with your reality.
Key Quotes
- The tears you cry in your most grief-afflicted moments are liquid words telling you what’s most important.
- Grief comes to each of us at different rates of speed; it’s not a linear process.
- Please don’t devalue your loss and look for ways to downplay it or say it doesn’t matter.
- God goes before you. He walks with you. He hems you in from behind. And He lives within you.
- God’s grace covers all your mistakes and He fills in the gaps for you.
- He has gone ahead of you, knows exactly what you need, and created good, good plans for you.
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Safe People by Dr. John Townsend and Dr. Henry Cloud
Previous Episodes Mentioned * Episode #30: Three ways to be kind and gentle with yourself at the start of a new season * Episode #51: Body Image, Weight, Jean Size, and Jesus
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
How can you offer empathy to those who see masks + vaccines differently than you do as well as how to teach your kids empathy in this craziness?
If you’ve ever felt judged, defensive, or misunderstood because of your COVID choices,
OR if you’ve ever wondered why we’re all so hateful to each other online and in-person about masks and vaccines and wonder how we can treat others with kindness,
OR if you’ve never felt more polarized from your family, friends, church, school district, or nation than at this moment in history, you’re in the right place.
In this episode, we’ll break down:
- What it’s like be a human right now
- What’s going on beneath the surface
- And practical ways to offer and teach empathy in an unkind world.
How to practice empathy in your real life 1. Practice self-compassion. 2. Before you react to a hurtful comment or passive-aggressive remark, ask yourself if what you’re about to say is true, kind, and helpful. 3. Challenge yourself to be kind twice a day. 4. Talk with people who have a different perspective than you do. 5. Pray. Pray for those with whom you disagree, that they will be blessed. Ask for forgiveness when you start going into self-righteous, judgy mode.
How to teach empathy to your kids
- Your kids need to know emotions. They should be able to identify their own emotions and the emotions of others.
- Your child needs to know who she is.
- Give your kids a good empathetic role model to follow.
- Talk to your kids about what’s going on.
- Share the reasons why your family has made the decisions you have.
- Help your kids look for similarities in others who disagree with them.
We must ask God for the strength to serve, the power to listen, and the grace to understand the life of another.
Key Quotes * Do not discount your weariness or the fact that your brain hurts or that you feel a bit more on edge. * We are angry because we are fearful, and our fear wants to be heard and acknowledged, but we have no outlet for it. * We are Kingdom people. Not anti-maskers or pro-vaxx-ers, but Kingdom people who live in the unshakable kingdom of God. * We need Jesus to fill in the gaps when we feel angry and misunderstood. * Loving others means listening without judgment. * Mentioned in the Podcast
###### The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!
- Unselfie: Why empathetic kids succeed in our all-about-me world by Michele Borba
- Inner Critic Challenge
- How to give yourself compassion even if you think you don’t deserve it
Previous Episodes Mentioned * #20: Decision-Making in Hard Seasons: When you want certainty and your brain feels full * #27: The secret sauce for shaking off fear and living with grace, confidence, and a steadfast heart * #41: How to give grace when people’s post-election reactions are unkind and hurtful * #59: Delete + Reset: Navigating hard conversations with Esther Littlefield * #60: The Enneagram + Conflict || Part 1: The Essentials with Jenn Whitmer * #62: The Enneagram + Conflict || Part 2: Diving Deep Into Your Type with Jenn Whitmer
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Whether your kids are going back to school in-person for the first time in over a year, struggle with the pressure of testing and giving presentations, or feel the weight of the social side of school, you’ll learn 18 practical ways to help your child navigate back-to-school stress.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- How real their stress is,
- What to do when they struggle with uncertainty,
- How to handle the stress to perform,
- And what to do when the social pressure builds up.
Back-to-school stress for kids is real. Let’s explore practical, simple ways to help your kids navigate it.
Key Quotes * Back-to-school stress for kids is real. * God meets struggles head-on. * Jesus is just as gentle and kind to your child who struggles as He was to the children the disciples tried to keep away. * God is still in the business of helping and teaching His kids to this day, and He will not stop with yours. * It will take a lifetime for your kids to figure out who they are. They don’t have to figure it out today. It’s okay to make mistakes because they are traveling with God. * God takes your students’ concerns seriously. He’s with them, and He’ll help them.
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- 2014 American Psychological Association study
- 2021 CDC study on children’s mental health
- 2020 American Psychological Association Stress in America study
- Feelings chart
- NextTalk podcast
-
72: Parenting with grace in the digital age with Mandy Majors [Grace in Parenting series]
- Simone Biles’ Instagram post
- Learn more about Jill speaking to your group
Here’s how to connect with Jill
- Website
- GraceInRealLifePodcast.com
- Facebook group
- Facebook page
- Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
There is no doubt in my mind that you love your kids with your whole heart, but they are driving you crazy. After being together 24/7 in the summer, you really need a break, am I right? So what’s going on: why are we so irritated?
In Episode 76, we’re talking about how to show yourself compassion when you’re with your kids All The Time.
In this episode, we’ll:
- Break down five subconscious beliefs we hold about parenting in the summer,
- Zoom out to what’s really going on -- and you’ll get a lot of freedom here!
- And zoom in on practicals so you can thrive, not just survive these remaining weeks of summer.
Key Quotes * You and I have bought into the idea that good moms don’t have needs, are always at their best, and leverage every moment for maximum fun and memories. And we know we cannot be her. * God makes humans. Not machines. Not extra-humans. And He delights in your humanity. * Your God isn’t disappointed in your humanity; He is undeniably drawn more to it.
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- Dane Ortlund’s Gentle and Lowly
- Subscribe to Jill’s weekly the good + the grace email
- Learn more about Jill McCormick speaking to your group
Previous Episodes * Episode #72: Parenting with grace in the digital age with Mandy Majors * Episode #73: Encouraging truths about you, the myth of “Good Mom” and God’s grace * Episode #74: How to actually enjoy summer
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
How can you give yourself grace during that “time of the month”? We can’t get around it: having a period is something we live with so let’s bring it into the light and talk about how you can be kind to you when your hormones -- and emotions -- feel all over the place.
In this episode, we’ll:
- Commiserate about what’s going on during that week-- all the things we feel
- And walk through nine ways to give your life, mind, and body a break during the time of the month.
Before we get started, please know I am not a medical professional on any level. Scroll to the bottom for information on RebekahFedrowitz’s podcast, You Are Well: Health podcast, for episodes on hormones and PMS.
Your period affects you in two ways:
- Emotionally
- Physically
So how can we give ourselves grace during this time? What’s a try-hard girl to do when the week hits and she’s exhausted, overwhelmed, and wants to unleash her venom on others?
I’ve outlined two major buckets on how you can extend yourself grace:
- Work around your period, and
- Face it
Because here are two facts you know to be true:
- Your energy is lower and this is the time you feel least like yourself.
- And you also value being kind and compassionate to yourself
So let’s talk about how to work around and face your period. I’m not talking about avoiding or ignoring it, but working around the limitations you may feel during this week. Working around your period is akin to going down a water park slide -- you let the slide take you where it takes you.
Three ways you honor your body and lean into grace by working around your period: 1. Figure out what drains you and let those things go. 2. Assess the activities as they relate to how much energy they take. 3. Finally, go with the ebb and flow of the hormones in your system.
Six ways to face your period When I talk about “facing it,” I mean that you take the bull by the horns, look it in the face, and say, “This is how we’re going to handle this, okay?!?!”
- Treat yourself like you would a friend.
- Take your thoughts captive.
- Despite what you feel or say or do, you are responsible for your actions.
- Keep your family in the loop with what’s going on.
- Seek medical care.
- Buy + wear comfy pants.
Key Quotes * You can give yourself grace, not by shutting down and neglecting your responsibilities, but by working around your limitations and with your capacity this week AND by facing the reality of what amazing work your body knows to do all on its own. * God wants you to live as the human you are, not dehumanize yourself by powering through as if you’re a machine without feelings or physical pain. * Our God cares about our bodies, our mental health, and rest. He never asks you to power through during your period. He’s actually looking for ways to give you a break from your normal rhythms and responsibilities. * There is no downside to apologizing. * I’m guessing you would never shame a friend, so please don’t shame yourself.
Mentioned in the Podcast
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- Mayo Clinic + PMDD
- You Are Well 024: Feeling Hormonal: Is Estrogen Dominance Making You Feel “Out of Whack”?
- You Are Well 045: PMS: The Myth & The Solution
- hope*writers
- Kendra Adachi’s “The Latest Lazy Letter” sign-up
- Kate Northrup’s Do Less
- Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
- Amanda Osenga on Instagram
Previous Episodes Mentioned Episode #46: When you just want to put on your comfy pants and disengage with people
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
This is an unusual episode because this is not about how you can give yourself grace during the summer, but it’s about how you can take off the heavy burden summer carries for you.
You want to enjoy your summer, but can you do it with all the expectations if you’ve laid on the sun-kissed shoulder of the season of summer?
In this episode, we’ll dive into:
- What you expect from your summer
- And what you can do to lessen the expectations.
Because when we recalibrate our expectations we can actually enjoy the summer. And who doesn’t want to do that??!?
Summer carries so many expectations. I want summer to be All The Things:
- slow,
- social,
- about connection,
- a time to play catch up on around-the-house projects,
- and fun.
I also put a lot of pressure on summer. Summer will be a time of peaceful respite from school-year craziness.
I believe that my tightly-wound temperament will convert into a silly, sunny, and laid-back person.
And I tell myself that in summer I’ll be the kind of mom I want to be.
So how can we give summer grace? 1. Let’s apologize to summer. 2. Let’s examine where our expectations come from. 3. Let’s thank Jesus for the gifts that summer gives us, which are (1) a different pace AND (2) the revelation of who we want to be. 4. Let’s embrace the reality of what our responsibilities are and add in the fun we want to have.
Let’s let summer be summer, and quit asking her to meet the expectations she cannot.
Key Quotes * Let’s examine where our expectations for summer come from. When did these expectations start? Where did we pick up that summer could be All The Things or that we’d become who we are not? * Without summer, I may never know that a longing of my heart is to be more laid back and relaxed. This is good information to have, and it creates another conversation for me to have with my friend Jesus.
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Kimberly Coyle’s Borrowed Words: A Collection of Seasonal Prayers
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Ever feel like you’re not a good mom? That somebody -- anybody -- could raise your kids better than you are doing right now? Do you sometimes feel like you’re The Worst because you angry, frustrated, and easily annoyed?
Those feelings are so familiar to every mom who has ever lived.
So let’s tune in to what is true. Let’s remind ourselves of these facts: 1. God delights in the fact that He made you a mother. 2. God didn’t create the law of Good Mom. 3. God knows your desire + your fears.
Key Quotes * God already knows all you’ve done. But don’t you remember these sins are forgiven? That they were nailed to the tree and you bear them no more? This includes the mom-guilt. * You fear you’re not good enough. Who said you had to be enough? God alone is good, and He alone is enough. * Mama, you’re going to drop the ball. At some point, you’ll forget to pick up a kid somewhere. You’ll send him to school without lunch. You’ll give bad advice. You’ll lose your temper. And God’s grace redeems it all. * God is the One who dreamed up the idea of parenting and created you to be your child’s parent. Do you think He will leave you on your own? * Motherhood is a divine opportunity for Him to come alongside you, to love you, and for you to turn to Him because you feel so utterly not-enough. * You’re not The Worst. You’re fully loved. You’re not failing. You’re My favorite. You’re a very good mom.
Mentioned in the Podcast Inner Critic Challenge
Previous Episodes * Episode #66: How your Enneagram type impacts your parenting * Episode #67: Easy and practical ways to give your kids grace * Episode #68: How to create a family shaped by grace in a conversation with Gary Morland * Episode #69: How to parent out of love, not fear with Kevin A. Thompson * Episode #70: Helping your kids enjoy Jesus with Kirk + Debbie Freeman * Episode #71: Creating a family culture where Jesus is woven into daily life with Kimberly Amici * Episode #72: Parenting with grace in the digital age with Mandy Majors
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Let’s talk about how to build relationships with your kids using open + honest communication as you parent in the digital age.
In this Grace In Real Life podcast interview, digital parenting expert Mandy Majors shares with us:
- What it looks like to have healthy conversations in your home,
- How to offer yourself grace when a new app or platform or algorithm pops up and you feel overwhelmed,
- And how to prepare your kids to use social media in a healthy, non-soul-crushing way.
Mandy reminds us that:
- God loves you the same, no matter what.
- Your good kid is going to mess up and ways you can offer grace for that,
- And the path to freedom for yourself when you feel like parenting in the digital age is overwhelming.
Key Quotes * “God is calling us to create a culture of healthy, honest, real conversations in our homes.” - Mandy Majors * “Show me the teachable moments.” - Mandy Majors * “I’m your Google.” - Mandy Majors * “We gotta build a safe place.” - Mandy Majors * “First, we must listen to the Holy Spirit.” - Mandy Majors * “Kids are processing it all in their minds. You need to speak into it.” - Mandy Majors * “You cannot create effective communication without being a good listener.” - Mandy Majors * “Jesus can redeem and restore any relationship.” - Mandy Majors * “There’s always hope with Jesus.” - Mandy Majors * “God is about conviction, but He’s not about shame.” - Mandy Majors * “You gotta know your kids. You gotta know the season. Give grace.” - Mandy Majors * “Your good kid is going to make mistakes.”- Mandy Majors * “Before we’re mothers, we’re a daughter of God.” - Mandy Majors * “God loves us the same if we mess something up with our kids or not.” - Mandy Majors * “Our identity is in Christ; it is not really in motherhood.” - Mandy Majors * “Do not freak out.” - Mandy Majors * “Draw more attention to what they’re doing right than what they’re doing wrong.” - Mandy Majors * “I don’t have to keep up with it all because I keep up with my kids and the relationship, and that’s what protects them.” - Mandy Majors * “We can’t be all about rules. The relationship is first. Then we give guidelines.” - Mandy Majors
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- Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
- Facebook group
- nextTalk podcast
- Bark
- Dude Perfect
- Sadie Robertson
- Kirby Minnick
- Episode #66: How your Enneagram type impacts your parenting
- Episode #67: Easy and practical ways to give your kids grace
- Episode #68: How to create a family shaped by grace in a conversation with Gary Morland
- Episode #69: How to parent out of love, not fear with Kevin A. Thompson
- Episode #70: Helping your kids enjoy Jesus with Kirk + Debbie Freeman
- Episode #71: Creating a family culture where Jesus is woven into daily life with Kimberly Amici
- Keeping Kids Safe in a Digital World by Mandy Majors
- TALK: A Practical Approach to Cyberparenting and Open Communication by Mandy Majors
About Mandy Majors Mandy Majors is an author, podcaster, mama, and digital parenting expert.
Mandy is the author of the award-winning book, TALK: A Practical Approach to Cyberparenting and Open Communication.
She is a graduate of Indiana University and founder of nextTalk, a nonprofit organization that keeps kids safe online by creating a culture of conversation in families, churches, and schools.
She’s been married to her best friend, Matt, for twenty-one years, and together they’re raising two teens in Texas.
Here’s how to connect with Mandy Majors * Mandy’s website * nextTalk website * Mandy on Facebook * nextTalk on Facebook * Mandy on Twitter * nextTalk on Twitter * nextTalk on Instagram
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Your family has a culture. Do you know what your’s is? Do you even like it? How can you shape it so your faith and values are woven into it?
I’m so glad you asked! You want to create a warm, welcoming, gospel-centered family, and today’s guest will help you!
In this interview, Kimberly Amici shares with us:
- How to shape your family culture one day at a time,
- Ways to create an environment where kindness -- not rivalry and bickering -- thrives among your kids
- And how to give and receive feedback from your kids.
I love how Kimberly made family culture not so scary and that we don’t need some big announcement or major shifts, we can simply build our culture one day at a time.
Key Quotes * “Everything our family did was good, but we weren’t going all together.” - Kimberly Amici * “You can change your family culture.” - Kimberly Amici * “Identify what you’re already doing well.” - Kimberly Amici * “We get to do these things because we’re working together.” - Kimberly Amici * “Find consistent practices that are non-negotiable.” - Kimberly Amici * “These small things that we do day in and day out are what’s building culture.” - Kimberly Amici * “When our kids come to us, are we pointing them back to Jesus? And if we consistently do that, the culture is building itself.” - Kimberly Amici * “Because of the atmosphere we create, our kids are open to what we have to say.” - Kimberly Amici * “Honor what your kids have to say and ask questions.” - Kimberly Amici * “Listen. Apply what you’re learning. Continue to ask questions. Be humble.” - Kimberly Amici * “My biggest lesson with grace has been not making everything all about me.” - Kimberly Amici * “I have to make sure that I don’t choose to extend grace only when it’s convenient.” - Kimberly Amici * “I have to understand my why because that fuels me to be efficient so I can show up for my kids.” - Kimberly Amici
Previous Episodes Mentioned
- Episode #66: How your Enneagram type impacts your parenting
- Episode #67: Easy and practical ways to give your kids grace
- Episode #68: How to create a family shaped by grace in a conversation with Gary Morland
- Episode #69: How to parent out of love, not fear with Kevin A. Thompson
- Episode #70: Helping your kids enjoy Jesus with Kirk + Debbie Freeman
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- Build Your Best Family Summit
- Build Your Best Family Summit All-Access Pass
- Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
- Kimberly’s Family Retreat Packet
- Kimberly’s Family Culture Worksheet
- Cleaning House by Kay Wills Wyma
- Good to Great by Jim Collins
- The Build Your Best Family podcast
About Kimberly Amici Kimberly is known for her creativity, strong faith, and commitment to living life with purpose and passion. She is an entrepreneur, designer, and podcast producer.
Through Kimberly’s Build Your Best Family, people live a life of purpose with the ones they love and become the family they were meant to be. She does all this through her podcast, courses, and personal coaching.
Kimberly writes at www.kimberlyamici.com, and lives with her husband Carl and their 3 teenagers in the NYC suburbs.
Here’s how to connect with Kimberly Amici * Website * Facebook * Instagram for Build Your Best Family * Instagram for Kimberly * Twitter * Podcast
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
How can you raise kids who will grow up to love Jesus, you, and each other? What can we do to help our kids love Jesus, not just follow the rules or go to church? How can we balance going to church with extracurriculars?
These are big questions, right? I’m so thankful experienced and empty-nester parents Kirk and Debbie Freeman are on the show. They raised three girls who love God, their family, and others. In today’s episode, we crack the code on how they did it.
In Episode #70, you’ll learn:
- How to mesh rules with relationship
- How to bring up big topics without it getting awkward
- And ways you can disciple (not discipline!) your kids
Kirk + Debbie:
- bring us back to our main goal in parenting (and it isn’t to avoid the occasional eye roll!),
- take the weight off by reminding us that God isn’t looking for us to be perfect parents,
- and remind us of God’s delight in us!
Other Episodes in Our Grace in Parenting Series: * Episode #66: How your Enneagram type impacts your parenting * Episode #67: Easy and practical ways to give your kids grace * Episode #68: How to create a family shaped by grace in a conversation with Gary Morland * Episode #69: How to parent out of love, not fear with Kevin A. Thompson
Key Quotes * “Maintaining unity was more important than what happened in the moment.” - Kirk Freeman * “The rules always serve the relationship.” - Kirk Freeman * “If our goal as parents is to avoid where our kids roll their eyes, we are going to fail. That’s not our goal.” - Kirk Freeman * “You can’t have it all, but it’s not all worth having.” - Kirk Freeman * “Parents have the greatest influence on their kids.” - Kirk Freeman * “The only way you’ll have any conversation that’s real and authentic is if you have normal, everyday interactions with your kids.” - Debbie Freeman * “There is great value in being yourself.” - Debbie Freeman * “God isn’t looking for you to be perfect. He’s just looking for you to be authentic and real.” - Kirk Freeman * “Give yourself some grace that you have eighteen years to do this, and that God is unswervingly for you as a parent. It’s not all on you.” - Kirk Freeman * “His hand is on your parenting and He is for you.” - Kirk Freeman * “The relationship with your kids partners with the words you’ve said with the life you’ve lived for their sake.” - Kirk Freeman
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- The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell
- Enneagram Eight
- Enneagram Six
- Enneagram Three
- Enneagram One
- Enneagram Nine
About Kirk + Debbie Freeman As the lead pastor of CrossBridge Community Church in San Antonio, Texas, Kirk helps chart the course -- along with the others pastors and elders -- for CrossBridge to be a disciplemaking church that shares the love of Jesus both locally and globally. Before moving to San Antonio and starting CrossBridge in 2003, Kirk spent ten years working in the Christian publishing industry.
Debbie’s career background is in public relations, and she worked in the Christian publishing industry for about fifteen years, coordinating publicity campaigns for authors with Thomas Nelson, Word, Zondervan, and others. She currently works as Lead Consultant and Speaker Coordinator for Ministry Architects, an organization that helps churches find clear direction and sustain momentum.
Kirk and his wife Debbie have known each other since elementary school, though they didn’t get married until junior high (just kidding). They have been close friends for over forty years and married since 1993. They have three sweet daughters and one awesome son-in-law.
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
How can you tell if you’re parenting out of love or fear? Isn’t it important to keep our kids safe? How can we learn to love and be loved?
In Episode 69, we’re talking about how to parent out of love instead of fear. In this interview, pastor, author, husband, and dad Kevin Thompson shares with us:
- How to lead your family with love, not fear
- How your child’s anxiety may be impacting your own
- And how to tell if you’re idolizing safety.
Ryan and I both read Kevin’s latest book, Fearless Families, and loved it because of how it:
- Breaks down how fear is actively impacting your life without you even noticing it!
- Offers real-life illustrations to which every family can relate
- And gives questions at the end of each chapter that could prove transformational in your parenting if you take the time to soak them in.
Win a free copy of Kevin’s Fearless Families Take a screenshot of your iTunes review of the Grace In Real Life podcast. This must be a new review from 2021.
Then email me the screenshot to info@jillemccormick.com by Sunday, May 30 at 9 p.m. CST.
Key Quotes * “Fear, when applied in the wrong area, is a destructive response.” - Kevin A. Thompson * “We have made safety the foundation of our lives.” - Kevin A. Thompson * “Our Heavenly Father just does what is most loving toward us, every single time.” - Kevin A. Thompson
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- Fearless Families by Kevin A. Thompson
- Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email for Kevin’s Family Values Scripter
About Kevin A. Thompson Kevin Thompson is the lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. He is the author of four books including Friends, Partners & Lovers as well as Fearless Families.
A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He writes at kevinathompson.com.
Here’s how to connect with Kevin Thompson * Website * Twitter * Instagram * Facebook
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
How can Jesus’ sufficiency meet you as you parent in real life? What are ways we can woo our kids to Jesus instead of telling them about Him? If you’ve ever had a family Bible study or devotional go sideways, listen in on how you can shape your family with God’s grace.
In Episode 68, we’re talking about how to create a family shaped by grace with author, husband, and dad Gary Morland.
In this interview, Gary shares with us:
- How Jesus’ sufficiency meets you in real-life parenting,
- What we can control and what we can’t,
- And practical ways to woo your people to Jesus.
Key Quotes * “Jesus’ sufficiency is for the reasons I want things to turn out the way I want things to turn out.” - Gary Morland * “The absolute first place that never goes away, where I am affirmed and cared about and seen, is in the eys of my Lord, who dwells within me and me in Him.” - Gary Morland * “Don’t try to get from your family what only God can give.” - Gary Morland * “What does God seem to be up to in my kids?” - Gary Morland * “I can control my efforts, but I cannot control the results.” - Gary Morland * “Wooing is being calm when your kids are not.” - Gary Morland * “Wooing is finding the good in your kids and giving them the credit for it.” - Gary Morland * “The desire is that my family would have access to God through me.” - Gary Morland * “I want to cooperate with God in what He’s up to in each of my family member’s lives.” - Gary Morland * “God has engineered your limits.” - Gary Morland * “I can release control because I know He’s in control.” - Gary Morland * “Do your parenting job -- your work of loving, teaching, and correcting -- but don’t expect certain results in a certain time period.” - Gary Morland * “You’re not messing your kids up.” - Gary Morland * “We want to stop feeling our mom-ness as if there’s no God, as if you can do everything right, as if it all depends on you. Leave room for God to shape and fix and use our mistakes.” - Gary Morland * “We want our kids to end up trusting in the bigness and goodness of God. When they see us trusting in the bigness and goodness of God, they are wooed to the same thing.” - Gary Morland
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- Emily P. Freeman
- Myquillyn Smith
- The Next Right Thing podcast
- hope*writers
- “Break in the Cup” by David Wilcox
- Scofield Bible Study
- Where’s Waldo? by Martin Handford
- Focus on the Family
- A Family Shaped by Grace by Gary Morland
- Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
About Gary Morland Gary Morland is a professional communicator with more than 30 years of radio experience sharing his own life story and helping others share theirs. As a 25-year sober alcoholic, he describes himself as “a guy who should have died but didn’t, with a wife who should have left but stayed.”
If anyone knows the power of grace and forgiveness, it’s Gary. He and his wife, Brenda, are the parents of authors Emily P. Freeman and Myquillyn Smith, a.k.a. The Nester.
He and Brenda live in North Carolina, and Gary will celebrate his birthday today!
Here’s how to connect with Gary Morland * hope*writers
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Do you struggle to offer grace to your kids? Are you ready to level up your grace-giving game?
Listen in for sustainable, realistic, kid-, teen-, and mom-approved methods to add a sprinkle more grace into your home.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- How God parents you with grace
- How you can offer that same grace to your children
- And one hard, but fail-proof way to be a grace-giving parent.
Ready for easy and practical ways to extend grace to your kids? Listen in to this second episode in our Grace in Parenting series.
Let’s start by understanding the five ways God offers you grace as He parents you. God parents you with grace through how He:
- Knows you
- Serves you,
- Listens to you,
- Speaks to you
- And acts to help you.
So how can you offer that same grace to your children? The first way to offer your kids grace is to get to know them. * Know what they love. * Know what upsets them or stresses them out. * Understand the timing: snack time, nap time, testing week, etc. * Know their love language. * Know what’s in- and out-of-character for them.
The second way to offer your kids grace is to serve them. * Ask them how you can pray for them. * If running late, step into their jobs. * Cover the little things during their busy weeks. * Ask how you can help.
The third way to offer your kids grace is to listen to them. * Don’t dismiss. * Ask questions to get to the heart of the issue. * Put the phone down. * Remember you don’t have to fix their situation, but you do need to listen.
The fourth way to offer your kids grace is to talk to them with gentleness. * Cheer them on when you see them trying, even if not at the speed you’d like. * Say “hello” before giving instructions. * Don’t use sarcasm, passive-aggressiveness, guilt, or manipulation.
The fifth and final way to offer your kids grace is to act in love. * Treat your children with respect. * Ask for forgiveness when you mess up. * Acknowledge their feelings. * Ask your kids how you’ve hurt them in the past then give them permission to offload those hurts without growing defensive.
One hard, but fail-proof way to be a grace-giving parent Know your story.
- What narratives were passed on to you by your own parents that maybe you’re acting out of by rote, but you don’t really agree with?
- What lies or wounds have you believed over the years that haven’t been dealt with, but are leaking out onto your kids?
- What default coping mechanisms do you employ when you’re stressed that don’t serve you well?
- How did God wire you?
Key Quotes * A teachable heart is a heart God can work with * May we be mothers who respect God’s specific wiring of our people. It’s okay if your kids are unlike anyone else in your tribe. * Give yourself and your children permission to live out what God has put in. * The grace that flows from Christ to you can flow from you to your children.
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- 5 resources to help you assess you
- Raising Good Humans
- Kelly Callen Heath
- hope*writers
- Katherine Silverglate
- Kevin Thompson
- Love Languages for Kids
- Love Language online quiz
Previous Episodes * Episode #21: Did I really hear from God or is that just me? * Episode #66: How your Enneagram type impacts how you parent [Grace in Parenting series]
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
How does your personality impact your parenting style? Where do you shine and struggle in motherhood? What are some God-centered habits to help you along the way? What do you do when you wonder why God made you a mom with all your flaws, twerks, and preferences?
Sweet friend, I hope this episode -- the first in our Grace in Parenting series -- brings you comfort and a whole lot of joy as you recognize how beautifully God knit you together as a human, and how perfectly He placed your children in your family, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
Because let’s be real: We all have days when we wonder what God was thinking when He made us a mom.
In this episode, we’ll dive into:
- Where your Enneagram type shines in parenting,
- Where your type struggles,
- And where grace meets you.
Sweet mom friend, God 100% knew what He was doing when He matched you and your children together. He could think of no better person to raise your child than you:
You with your short temper, and your love of clean countertops, and your desire for everything to go according to plan.
May this episode shed light on how awesome you are as a mom, how much you need Jesus as a mama, and how you can practically give yourself grace as you parent.
If you take nothing else away from this episode, please know this: You’re doing a great job mama.
Stay true to the type of mom God created you to be. You don’t need to be like your best friend, sister-in-law or mom. The comparison game can end when you know God delights in how He made you
Your children need you to be who God created! When you realize you don’t have to be like every other mom on the block, but uniquely you, the joy in parenting will explode!
If you’d like to skip to your type or the type of your spouse, here are the approximate timestamps + a parenting book list curated for each type: Type Eight
- 6:25
- It’s OK Not To Share by Heather Shumaker
- Nurture by Nature by Paul Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger
Type Nine
- 8:40
- The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel Siegel
- Bringing up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman
Type One
- 11:08
- Sacred Ground, Sticky Floors by Jami Amerine
- Love Does by Bob Goff (there’s also a kids version!)
- The Wonder Weeks by Xaviera Plas-Plooij, Frans X. Plooij, and Hetty van de Rijt
Type Two
- 13:56
- How to Talk so Your Kids Will Listen and Listen So Your Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish (there’s also a teen version)
- Loving Your Kids on Purpose by Danny Silk
Type Three
- 16:24
- Triggers by Amber Lia and Wendy Speake
- Give Your Kids a Break by Kim Fredrickson
Type Four
- 19:40
- The Next Right Thing by Emily P. Freeman
- Are My Kids on Track? by Sissy Goff, David Thomas, and Melissa Trevathan
Type Five
- 21:29
- The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell
- The Enneagram of Parenting by Elizabeth Wagele
Type Six
- 23:44
- Walking with God in the Season of Motherhood by Melissa Kruger
- It’s All Under Control by Jennifer Lee
Type Seven
- 26:29
- Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas
- Confident Moms, Confident Daughters by Maria Furlough
Key Quotes * When I discovered my Enneagram type, I finally understood why motherhood challenged me so much and what strengths I brought to it. * God 100% knew what He was doing when He matched you and your children together. * Stay true to the type of mom God created you to be. You don’t need to be like your best friend, sister-in-law or mom. The comparison game can end when you know God delights in how He made you. * Your children need you to be who God created! When you realize you don’t have to be like every other mom on the block, but uniquely you, the joy in parenting will explode!
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- Your Quick Start Guide to the Enneagram
- Why motherhood is hard for me
Previous Episodes
Episode 7: What the Enneagram is, what it isn’t, and why it’s important for your spiritual growth
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
The end of the school year brings on All the Feels. Maybe you cannot wait for the summer. Maybe this year feels particularly bittersweet. Maybe you feel guilty that you didn’t do enough. No matter how you feel, you’ll be showered with grace in this episode!
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- Which type of end-of-school-year mom you are
- And how to offer yourself grace during the craziest time of the year.
The four categories moms fall into at this time of year.
- The I’m-ready-but-feel guilty-that-I-didn’t-do-enough mom
- The end-of-the-year-feels-bittersweet mama
- The I-feel-pressured-to-make-up-for-a-crazy-2020-so-this-summer-must-be-the-best-summer-ever mom.
- And the I’m-so-ready-for-school-to-be-over-and-I’m-so-excited-about-summer mom
Key Quotes * It’s scary to let go, but remember the hands in whom you entrust your kids. * Can you rest in the grace and truth that you may mess up, but the plans God has for your children will come to pass? * If you feel emotional at the end of the year, just know your emotions are telling you what’s important in your life. * You are human, which means you’re able to feel joy and sadness simultaneously, and you don’t need to put down one to hold the other. * Ask God for provision for today, knowing He specializes in beginnings and endings because He is the Alpha and Omega. * Ask God for wisdom on what each child needs this summer and then ask your kids what they want out of the next 90 days. * Rest in the grace and truth that God created the seasons and rhythms of productivity and presence, and that He wants you to enjoy this next season.
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- Bible Study Fellowship
- Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
We walk around with cluttered souls and weary hearts, believing this is normal. What if we could live with a clean and clear soul and a renewed heart?
Today’s guest, author, and interior designer Valerie Griffin shares how possible and pain-free it can be. In Episode 64, we’re talking about renewing your heart with principles of interior design, like getting rid of the clutter and allowing the Great Designer access to your space.
In this interview, Valerie shares with us:
- How God is the designer of your heart
- The five design principles to remember when your heart needs a remodel
- And how to declutter your soul.
Stay tuned to the end because she shares three design principles that might help you freshen up your house on the cheap!
Valerie speaks truth and grace and practical ideas about what to do when we dread practicing hospitality, shares that love is the opposite of perfectionism, and the one question to ask when you feel blah.
To win a copy of Renew and to learn about Valerie’s interior design go-to’s, subscribe to my email.
Key Quotes * “God is in the business of transformation.” - Valerie Griffin * “Our Christian lives are about trusting our Great Designer God that He’s going to carry out that work in our lives to completion.” - Valerie Griffin * “When I feel overwhelmed, it indicates that my cluttered soul needs attention.” - Valerie Griffin * “Acknowledge the clutter then see why it exists.” - Valerie Griffin * “God is telling us, ‘Let’s deal with these sins and weaknesses so we can move forward with the plan I have for you.’” - Valerie Griffin * “Our enemy wants us to sit in shame.” - Valerie Griffin * “Human perfection is a trap.” - Valerie Griffin * “Your community is richer when people know you’re real.” - Valerie Griffin * “We cannot DIY our heart transformation. We have to trust the Designer.” - Valerie Griffin
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- Valerie Griffin Design
- Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
- Renew: Invite the Designer to Refresh Your Heart by Valerie Griffin
About Valerie Griffin Valerie is passionate about inspiring others to renew their hearts and homes.
She is the owner of Valerie Griffin Design, where she creates interiors clients love coming home to, and she’s the author of Renew, a devotional that guides readers to refresh the interior of their hearts. Valerie loves Jesus, creating color schemes, and writing about facets of faith. She and her husband live in the Austin area with their four kiddos and golden doodle puppy.
Here’s how to connect with Valerie Griffin * The Renewal Guide: 7 Ways to Refresh Your Home & Heart * Website * Instagram * Facebook
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
I’m guessing that you sing about grace, post about grace on Instagram, and love the idea of grace. And yet… grace feels elusive.
Like maybe it’s for others, but never for you, or it’s a concept that could never become a reality. Like it’s a cruel joke that promises a peace that’s just out of reach, or it's just a patronizing, condescending way to make you feel better because you couldn’t get it right the first time.
If you’ve ever felt this way, you’re in the right place.
I want to give you permission and space to stop thinking about grace in that way. In this episode, we unpack the three reasons you may have a hard time receiving grace for yourself.
You’ll learn the three reasons you may reject grace and practical strategies on how to move forward in receiving grace instead of staying stuck.
Y’all… I’m going to level with you here. This is the most revealing episode I’ve recorded because I get into the nitty-gritty struggles of my rejection of grace, and how I came to receive it for myself.
One: Grace feels like an excuse for imperfection or poor performance Try-hard girls are accustomed to being outwardly all-together and being such high performers that the idea of accepting the grace God gives feels blasphemous. Grace is given to those who can’t hack it. It’s a consolation prize for those who fail.
We believe God cares more about our performance and all the awesome things we’re doing in His name than He cares about our hearts.
We reject grace because we feel like Jesus did His final work on the cross and it’s up to us to conjure up faith, good works, and the energy to tackle our overwhelming to-do lists.
We reject grace because it means we’ve failed, and failure is not an option for the try-hard girl so we resolve to clamp down and do better tomorrow.
Some practical grace-grabbing strategies:
- Ask Him when your desire to be perfect or do things perfectly started.
- Ask Him how He sees you and how He feels about you.
- Renounce the lies of perfectionism and performance-based love.
- Receive the truth that God shares with you.
Two: Grace feels like a free pass to Lazytown; that it’s really a sneaky way to say “I can’t meet expectations.” Grace feels unnecessary because we are not quitters or whiners. We meet expectations. We plan well. We’re organized. Grace is for those who can’t figure it out.
This belief reveals a secondary belief: Our faith is based on what we do for Jesus and how well we can juggle our roles, which means we’re acknowledged for our hard work, people like us, and not a hair is out of place.
It’s almost as if we believe God is unnecessary -- y’all I cannot believe I’m saying this, but I’ve lived as if this were true. We believe we’re self-sufficient, that God gave us my marching orders in the Bible and it’s up to us to do All The Things alone.
Some practical grace-grabbing strategies:
- Repenting of our pride. We are not self-sufficient. We do need help. We are not the super-humans we wish ourselves to be. We need Jesus.
- Then let’s be compassionate with ourselves as we understand that pride is our way of protecting our hearts of the unworthiness we feel.
- Finally, ask Jesus who He says you are.
Three: Grace seems like it’s God’s gift for others but not for you. For years, I’ve been on a constant quest for Enough-ness, wondering if I’m Less Than, wanting the secret sauce that others have. We reject grace simply because we believe it’s not ours for the taking.
In this line of thought, we feel hungry and dissatisfied: we want what others have and feel the longing in our hearts.
Some practical grace-grabbing strategies:
- Read stories that showcase God lavishing His grace on undeserving people. So basically, you can pick any book of the Bible for this one
- Keep a journal of God’s kindness, goodness and mercy to you. Start this simple practice by reflecting on today: Where did you experience God today? In what areas was God at work in your life today?
- When you read in His word or hear a truth about yourself from God, don’t wave it off. Let it sink in. When God tells you, you’re beloved, make the conscious choice to say, “Yes, I agree with you.”
If you leave with nothing else today, may it be this truth: Grace is yours for the taking.
It was created for you.
You are God’s favorite girl, and He cannot wait for you to receive what He so freely offers.
Key Quotes * We reject grace for one of these three reasons: 1. We see it as a consolation prize for those who fail, 2. We believe it’s reserved for those who can’t figure it out, 3. We constantly compare ourselves to others and deem ourselves unworthy of grace. * God will reveal to you what needs to be revealed when it’s synchronized with His divine timetable in offering what is best for you. * Comparison is killing us, try-hard girls. * Pride is a try-hard girl’s way of protecting her heart from the unworthiness she feels. * When we reject grace, we worry less about enjoying the sweet gifts God’s given and we focus more on failure-avoidance.
Mentioned in the Podcast * Bible Study Fellowship * Subscribe to Jill's the good + the grace email
Previous Podcasts * Episode #1: What is grace exactly? * Episode #3: Are you a try-hard girl? * Episode #21: Did I really hear from God or is that just me? * Episode #57: Delete + Reset: Slowing down, releasing expectations, and creating an unhurried heart with Jennifer Dukes Lee
Here’s how to connect with Jill
- Website
- GraceInRealLifePodcast.com
- Facebook group
- Facebook page
- Subscribe to Jill’s weekly the good + the grace email
How does your Enneagram type handle conflict? Where does your type get stuck in conflict? What do you need to know about your Enneagram type when you find yourself in conflict?
In this interview, speaker, writer, and Enneagram Coach Jenn Whitmer breaks down conflict and the Enneagram, going type-by-type about where each Enneagram type struggles, shines, and what would serve us well to remember.
She tells us:
- what each Enneagram brings to the table in conflict
- where each type struggles
- and how each type can practically handle conflict and hard conversations better.
Jenn reframes conflict as an opportunity and reminds us it’s really a heart posture of humility and community so we can tackle the issue out there.
To skip to a type: * Type Eight: 3:35 * Type Nine: 7:15 * Type One: 10:52 * Type Two: 14:54 * Type Three: 18:43 * Type Four: 21:59 * Type Five: 25:50 * Type Six: 29:10 * Type Seven: 33:11
Key Quotes * “Vulnerability is actually a strength. It takes a lot of strength and trust to expose your heart, but it’s what connects you to people.” - Jenn Whitmer * “It’s a paradox of life that we are all doing the best we can, but everybody can do better.” - Jenn Whitmer * “Avoiding conflict usually creates more.” - Jenn Whitmer * “Conflict is not failure. Conflict is a problem-solving opportunity.” - Jenn Whitmer * “You are safe to have needs.” - Jenn Whitmer * “Conflict is an opportunity, not a threat.” - Jenn Whitmer * “Conflict resolution is a posture of, ‘It’s the two of us together against the problem out there.’” - Jenn Whitmer
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- Jill's Inner Critic Challenge
- Harry Potter
- Freebies from Jenn
- Women’s Leader Circle private Facebook group
Previous Episodes #60: The Enneagram + Conflict || Part 1: The Essentials with Jenn Whitmer
About Jenn Whitmer Jenn helps teams and leaders solve conflict and personality clashes. She speaks, writes, and coaches about hard topics with infectious joy. Through working with Jenn, people improve communication, work through conflict, and build self-awareness with the Enneagram. She asks big questions that lead to big dreams and big ideas and big living. Usually, that means laughing.
Jenn has graduate certificates in music education, theology, and leadership along with a Master of Arts in communication and culture from Webster University and certification as an Enneagram coach.
Jenn lives in St. Louis, Missouri, with her husband, Michael, their four kids, and a cat that puts up with them all.
Here’s how to connect with Jenn * Facebook * Instagram * Twitter * LinkedIn * Medium * Clubhouse: @jenn_whitmer
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
How is the gospel of grace the antidote to doing more, living legalistically, and telling yourself to get it together? How can you live out the gospel of Easter year-round? What would it look like to not have to do more, follow all the rules, and exert all your willpower?
In this episode, you’ll learn the beauty of the one true gospel of grace, three false gospels you may live under instead of the gospel of grace, and how to live out the gospel in real life.
God’s gospel of grace says God is perfect and holy. That we are sinners. And that God sent His Son Jesus to pay the wage of our sin by dying on the cross. The gospel says God saves those who put their trust in His Son Jesus Christ.
Simple.
Free.
Relational.
Hope-giving and grace-abounding.
Here are the top 3 false gospels try-hard girls believe:
One: The gospel of doing more and trying harder The gospel of doing more and trying harder preaches that you must perform to earn your keep, your spot, and God’s love. It says your real issue isn’t sin, but that you aren’t trying hard enough.
The antidote to the Do More/Try Harder gospel is to receive the one true gospel of grace and worship Jesus for what He has already done.
Two: The gospel of rule-following The gospel of rule-following preaches that you must meet a list of shoulds, demands, and expectations you’ve set for yourself or that others have hoisted upon you.
You’ve created internal, mental lists of all the things Good Moms or Good Daughters or Good Christians do and measure yourself by how close you were able to follow these best practices to be the Best Person You Can Be, instead of The Worst you desperately hope to avoid.
Some of the rules you’ve told yourself to follow are found in the Bible, like, Go and make disciples; care for the orphan and widow, and practice hospitality
Which makes them feel extra heavy. Jesus said His yoke is easy and His burden is light, yet your heart feels anything but.
This gospel tells you your real issue isn’t your lost-ness and sin, but that your imperfections can be cured by following the rules.
The antidote to the rule-following gospel is to ask one question then stay in context.
Start by asking yourself, “Jesus, what do you want me to do right now?” When you obey, remember that your context -- your backdrop -- -- your reality -- is being in a relationship with Jesus.
For every command in the Bible, the author assumes you are following Jesus, who is the source of your strength.
The third and final popular gospel of try-hard girls is the gospel of willpower. The gospel of willpower preaches that the key to happiness and love and staying in God’s good graces is to just stop doing the problem behavior and to start doing what’s right by sheer force of will. It tells you that your real issue isn’t sin, but a lack of self-control.
The antidote to the willpower gospel is to surrender to the truth that you don’t have the self-control you need, but you do have the cross.
Our souls—the ones that yell at our kids, blame our spouse, talk snarkily about others, and relentlessly compare—need to hear these simple words: Jesus said: “It is finished,” and Paul wrote: “God began doing a good work in you. And he will continue it until it is finished when Jesus Christ comes again.”
Finishing is God’s job.
Soooooo…. how can you live out the gospel of grace in your real life? The real gospel isn’t giving God your resume of how hard you’ve tried so you can earn His favor. The real gospel is based on Jesus and what He’s already done.
The real gospel isn’t about following every command outlined in the Bible or even in your own head so you can be perfect. The real gospel is Jesus is perfect and His righteousness becomes your righteousness.
The real gospel isn’t about telling yourself that you can stop sinning and start being good once you really focus. The real gospel is based solely on the cross and not promises you make to yourself.
Key Quotes * You do not need to try harder; you can sit down on the inside, knowing your God knows exactly what you need and He is working hard on your behalf. * You do not need to follow the rules; you can simply follow the Shepherd who knows exactly what pace to set and where to take you. * You do not need more determination; you can rest in what your Deliverer has already done. * The antidote to the willpower gospel is to surrender to the truth that you don’t have the self-control you need, but you do have the cross.
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Learn more about Jill speaking to your group
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
What is conflict exactly, and how do you know when it’s resolved? Are there specific ways each Enneagram type handles hard conversations and approaches conflict?
In this episode, speaker, writer, and Enneagram Coach Jenn Whitmer joins the show. We go in-depth about how to handle hard conversations and conflict using the Enneagram.
Jenn shares what conflict is, how you know when it’s resolved, the five steps of genuine reconciliation, and the three major buckets each Enneagram type uses to approach conflict.
So y’all, this interview was so good that I split it into 2 episodes. In this episode, you’ll learn the basics of conflict and the three ways all Enneagram types handle conflict. In Episode #62, we’ll break down conflict type-by-type. In other words, today we’re laying a solid foundation so when you listen again in two weeks you’ll have a greater depth of understanding of conflict and personality type.
I love how Jenn shared with us what each coping style does well in conflict, what trips up each style, and how each style can improve in resolving conflict, and how she shared the three times it’s important to have a hard conversation.
Key Quotes * “How you handle conflict will either propel you forward as a fantastic leader or will damage your leadership abilities.” - Jenn Whitmer * “We can create cultures of peace and love and care and efficiency one conflict at a time.” - Jenn Whitmer * “Pay attention to the things God keeps dropping in your path that people say to you, your experiences. What’s the recurring thread that keeps coming back in the melody of your life?” - Jenn Whitmer * “The longer and more grievous the injury, the longer it takes to solve.” - Jenn Whitmer * “We are actually feeling beings who think and all decisions, and all problems come through our emotions.” - Jenn Whitmer
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- Episode 59: Delete + Reset: Navigating hard conversations with Esther Littlefield
- All About the Enneagram Seven
About Jenn Whitmer Jenn helps teams and leaders solve conflict and personality clashes. She speaks, writes, and coaches about hard topics with infectious joy. Through working with Jenn, people improve communication, work through conflict, and build self-awareness with the Enneagram. She asks big questions that lead to big dreams and big ideas and big living. Usually, that means laughing.
Jenn has graduate certificates in music education, theology, and leadership along with a Master of Arts in communication and culture from Webster University and certification as an Enneagram coach.
Jenn lives in St. Louis, Missouri, with her husband, Michael, their four kids, and a cat that puts up with them all.
Here’s how to connect with Jenn * Facebook * Instagram * Twitter * LinkedIn * Medium * Clubhouse: @jenn_whitmer
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
What is a hard conversation? Why do we avoid them? What are do’s and don’t’s in initiating a difficult conversation?
Through Delete + Rest, an every-other-week series, we talk about mindsets we need to delete because they don’t serve us well then we reset our brains with the truth.
In this interview, Esther + I tackle a topic that is an ongoing struggle for try-hard girls: having a hard conversation.
Esther defines what a hard conversation is, shares four keys to discerning when to bring up a hard topic, and offers do’s and don’t’s as you navigate your next difficult conversation.
She also gives you practical ways to initiate a hard conversation and what good can come out of a difficult dialogue.
Key Quotes * “If we can spend our time thinking and preparing our hearts and preparing what we want to say then we can have the hard conversation.” - Esther Littlefield * “Having a hard conversation is a learning process.” - Esther Littlefield * “If we’ve done our part, we have to let go of the response of the other person.” - Esther Littlefield * “We can study. We can use biblical principles. And we can pray before having a hard conversation.” - Esther Littlefield * “Being willing to hear the other person’s perspective is so important in having that hard conversation.” - Esther Littlefield * “Part of having a hard conversation with God is processing what you’re feeling about the situation.” - Esther Littlefield * “Having a hard conversation reflects the heart of Christ in the effort to have reconciliation and restoration of a relationship or situation.” - Esther Littlefield
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- Enneagram Eight https://www.jillemccormick.com/episode-47-real-life-grace-for-the-enneagram-eight-with-celia-miller/
- Esther’s Confident Conversation mini-course https://go.estherlittlefield.com/confident-conversations
- Brene Brown https://brenebrown.com/
- Natalie Gingrich https://www.jillemccormick.com/episode-33-real-life-grace-for-the-enneagram-two-with-natalie-gingrich/
Previous Episodes Mentioned
- Episode #31: Real-life grace for the Enneagram One with Esther Littlefield
- Episode #51: Delete + Reset: Body Image, Weight, Jean Size, and Jesus with Jami Amerine
- Episode #53: Delete + Reset: Race, Racism, and Your Role in Racial Reconciliation with Dr. Lucretia Berry
- Episode #55: Delete + Reset: Productivity, Exhaustion, and Balancing Your Passions with Christa Hutchins
- Episode #5: Delete + Reset: Slowing down, releasing expectations, and creating an unhurried heart with Jennifer Dukes Lee
About Esther Littlefield Esther is a writer & host of the Christian Woman Leadership Podcast as well as the Christian Woman Business Podcast.
She is passionate about helping women embrace their gifts and lead with confidence. She also loves helping Christian business owners shine online and amplify their message. She lives in Maine with her husband Scott (a pastor), daughter KJ and their two cats, two leopard geckos, and one adorable puppy.
In her free time, you may find Esther enjoying a cup of coffee, exploring the great outdoors, or convincing her husband -- or a friend -- to take a road trip to see her favorite band, Switchfoot
Here’s how to connect with Esther * Website * Facebook page * Facebook group * Leadership podcast * Business podcast
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Why are we talking about goals in mid-March? Isn’t talking about goals and goal-setting reserved for January and January only? It’s right about now, we question the goals we set, feel that we’ve failed miserably at goal-setting, and are ready to throw in the towel, even though we started the year really excited about our new plans.
In this episode, you’ll learn three mindsets that probably tripped you up at the very beginning of goal-setting, three lies that may be holding you back from achieving your goals, four truths to help you regroup, so you can get back on track, and three practical strategies to bounce back with grace.
Key Quotes * Crushing your goals has more to do with choosing to believe what God says about you. * When in doubt, choose who God says you are. * What would it look like to tune out your negative voices to tune into your loving God? * God is more interested in you conforming more and more into the image of His Son than He is about whether you’ve completed your checklist for the day. * Knowing God and loving God are the ultimate success. * As a servant of Christ, your success isn’t determined by your ability to keep goals set on January 1.
Mentioned in the Podcast
###### The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!
- Curious Faith by Logan Wolfram
- The Christian Woman Leadership Podcast
- Five Resources to Help You Assess You
- How to break free from destructive expectations
- FREE 5-day Inner Critic Challenge
- Prayer e-book
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Slowing down your pace sounds amazing, but how do you do that in real life? How can you practice open-handedness in the dailiness? How can you build rest into a busy season?
In the fourth episode of the Delete + Reset series, author Jennifer Dukes Lee tackles a topic that’s an ongoing struggle for try-hard girls: how to live a slower life when you believe your worth is based on all you do.
Jennifer reminds you that good things take time to grow, that if you’re going to live like Jesus, you need to walk at a slower pace, and she defines what it means to have an unhurried heart.
You’ll learn how to grow slow in a world that pushes you to keep up, how to replace harmful mindsets with God’s truth, and what to do when you’re tired of a busy life but are terrified of the idea of letting go of All The Things.
Key Quotes * “There’s something worse than falling behind and that is not really appreciating and embracing the here-and-now the Lord has given us.” - Jennifer Dukes Lee * “It takes time to grow good things.” - Jennifer Dukes Lee * “An unexpected life is not the same thing as a bad life.” - Jennifer Dukes Lee * “God doesn’t delight in our output as much as He just delights in our ordinary selves.” - Jennifer Dukes Lee * “All those little things build a life.” - Jennifer Dukes Lee * “We ourselves are fields. God is planting seeds in us, and He is growing things in us.” - Jennifer Dukes Lee * “If I’m going to live like Jesus and be like Jesus, I need to slow down and walk with Jesus.” - Jennifer Dukes Lee * Mentioned in the Podcast
###### Mentioned in the Podcast
###### The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!
- Enneagram Three
- Koselig - Norwegian word for cozy
- Growing Slow by Jennifer Dukes Lee
- Growing Slow Bible Study by Jennifer Dukes Lee
- Esther Littlefield
- Christa Hutchins
- Brittany Spencer
- Marken Media
About Jennifer Dukes Lee Jennifer Dukes Lee is an accidental farm girl in Iowa, where she and her husband live on the fifth-generation family farm, raising crops, pigs, and two humans. She’s a fan of dark chocolate, emojis, eighties music, bright lipstick, and Netflix binges. She wants to live life in such a way that you can’t help but want more of Jesus. Jennifer is the author of several books and Bible studies, including It’s All Under Control and her upcoming release, Growing Slow.
Here’s how to connect with Jennifer Dukes Lee * Website * Instagram * Facebook
Previous Episodes * Episode #51: Delete + Reset: Body Image, Weight, Jean Size, and Jesus with Jami Amerine * Episode #53: Delete + Reset: Race, Racism, and Your Role in Racial Reconciliation with Dr. Lucretia Berry * Episode #55: Delete + Reset: Productivity, Exhaustion, and Balancing Your Passions with Christa Hutchins
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Whether you lived through Snowmaggedon 2021, walked through a recent trial, experienced their life upended -- even if for a short while, and felt so shaken that they were clutching to hold onto anything stable, this episode is for you.
In Episode #56, we’re talking about how to extend grace to yourself and others when you’re living through and cleaning up the aftermath of a crisis.
In this episode, you’ll take stock of your mental health and learn three ways to extend grace to yourself, plus I share a bonus way to give grace to your kids!
Let’s make peace with the fact that you are and were and may continue to be under a tremendous amount of stress.
Your brain may feel foggy. You may not be able to muster enough brain space to think more than twenty-four hours in the future. Your heart may feel the hurt of the consistent, vice-like pressure of the last twelve months.
To you, I say: Of course, you’re worn out and stressed. You’re doing a great job. You’ve lived through a crisis on top of a crisis, and there’s only so much even the toughest try-hard girl can take before she crumbles.
It’s okay to fall apart. Just know, you’re not gonna stay there, because Jesus has good plans for you.
Here are 5 easy-peasy ways to give yourself grace as you walk through an acutely stressful time: One: Don’t diminish your hardship by saying “It could be worse.” So often when we go through hard times, we think of all those who experience harder times or live in more extreme circumstances. You and I relegate our pain as unimportant or not a big deal, by saying phrases like, “It could be worse…” or “I’m just so thankful that at least…”
Two: Remember when life gets crazy, you don't have to maintain your same productivity level. Grace says when life gets crazy you don't have to keep up. You can live this minute, clinging to the hand of God and do what He asks you to do next.
Three: Don’t beat yourself about how you felt or what you did (or didn’t do) during your time of hardship. Do not beat yourself up that you found suffering hard. Do not tell yourself you’re a terrible Christian if you only prayed sporadically -- or not at all.
Even a weak faith is held in the almighty, unshakable hands of Jesus. God is faithful when you are faithless. God is not ignorant of your circumstances, and He knows your heart.
Four: Ask for forgiveness. Anxiety is all-encompassing right now. If you haven’t lost it with your husband, kids, the dog, or your power company, you just might in the upcoming weeks. Forgiveness is a three-for-one gift:
- God grants you forgiveness when you sin
- You can ask for forgiveness when you mess up with your people
- You can offer forgiveness when your people mess up, even if they don’t ask to be forgiven.
Finally, Five: Turn over every feeling to God. Acknowledge every one of those emotions and bring them to Jesus. As my writer friend Sarah Westfall said in Episode 38, emotions are the language of the soul. They are God’s way to get your attention, to point out what’s important to you, and to give you another reason to talk to Him.
BONUS: How to give your kids grace in a crisis: Ask your kids how they’re doing. Here are questions I’m asking our girls: What do you need from me? How can you help someone else today? How can you be kind to yourself right now? Have you talked to your friends recently?
Our kids don't have the grown-up stress we're experiencing, but snowstorms and a lack of routine impact them too. They don't have the language to process it, so let's help them by listening.
Key Quotes * It’s okay to fall apart. Just know, you’re not gonna stay there, because Jesus has good plans for you. * Grace makes a way for multiple emotions at the same time without a need to justify any of them. * Release yourself from any guilt, knowing your God is perfectly aware of your situation and is using it to grow your faith. * God says your sin is not greater than His grace. * 95% of grace is listening; listening to your heart and those around you. * God longs to comfort you. He is with you in the room right now. He is your hope.
Previous Episodes Mentioned * Episode 38: Real-life grace for the Enneagram Four with Sarah E. Westfall * Episode 43: How to navigate the tension between grief and gratitude
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
What should you do when your brain feels like it’s full of cats running in opposite directions? How can you separate your productivity from your worth? How can you tame an out-of-control to-do list?
In this third episode of the Delete + Rest series, author and coach Christa Hutchins tackles a topic that is an ongoing struggle for try-hard girls: productivity, balancing our multiple passions and roles, and exhaustion.
Christa shares how to become more process-focused than outcomes-obsessed, walks us through one healthy way to approach someone else’s success, and shares three practical strategies for the multi-passionate woman who is pursuing God’s calling.
You’ll learn how to move aware of self-sufficiency and toward God-dependence and how God gives us all the time we need to do His work.
Win The Move Forward Journal If you want to win The Move Forward Journal, simply leave a review on iTunes then screenshot it and email it to me at info@jillemccormick.com by noon CST Tuesday, February 16.
If you’ve already left a review, awesome, and thank you. Just screenshot your previous review, email it to me by noon CST February 16, and you’re entered!
Key Quotes * “If it’s going to be, it’s up to God.” - Christa Hutchins * “Exhaustion is not normal, but we have normalized exhaustion.” - Christa Hutchins * “God gives us all the time we need to do the things He’s called us to do.” - Christa Hutchins * “God-given ideas always serve people.” - Christa Hutchins * “God didn’t give you that dream to sit on it.” - Christa Hutchins * “If you have too much to do, you are trying to do too much. It’s not all yours to do.” - Christa Hutchins * “Your identity is not in how well you do things. Your identity is in how you love people and how you show them the love and grace of Christ.” - Christa Hutchins * “It’s okay to try hard. We just leave it to the Lord.” - Christa Hutchins
Mentioned in the Podcast
###### The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!
- Marken Media Company https://www.markenmediaco.com/
- Brittany Spencer Creative https://www.behance.net/brittany-spencer
- The Girl Named Blake https://www.instagram.com/thegirlnamedblake/
- The Move Forward Journal https://doanewthing.com/journal/
- Episode #51: Delete + Reset: Body Image, Weight, Jean Size, and Jesus with Jami Amerine https://www.jillemccormick.com/episode-51-delete-reset-body-image-weight-jean-size-and-jesus/
- Episode #53: Delete + Reset: Race, Racism, and Your Role in Racial Reconciliation with Dr. Lucretia Berry https://www.jillemccormick.com/53-delete-reset-race-racism-and-your-role-in-racial-reconciliation-with-dr-lucretia-berry/
About Christa Hutchins Christa Hutchins equips busy communicators and leaders with project management and problem-solving skills so they can turn their big ideas into a successful ministry or business.
For the past six years, she’s volunteered for Proverbs 31 Ministries Online Bible Studies and serves on the Executive Team for Online Bible Studies as the Coordinator of Reality.
In case all that wasn’t enough, Christa is a proud graduate of the University of Florida with a degree in Chemical Engineering. She’s worked for a global engineering and construction contractor for over 25 years.
She is passionate about teaching women to find practical application of the Bible in their personal, professional and ministry lives. Christa lives in south Louisiana with her husband in their delightfully empty nest.
Here’s how to connect with Christa Hutchins * Website * Facebook * Instagram * Twitter
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
You’ve sung “Jesus Loves Me” since forever, but now it doesn’t ring true. Do you need a gentle reminder of how crazy God is about you?
Maybe you yelled at your kids this morning and feel like The Worst Mom ever. Maybe you had an abortion decades ago. Maybe you just feel a vague sadness that you were supposed to be better or have accomplished more or figured life out by now.
Maybe you believe -- even subconsciously -- that God loves a lot of other try-hard girls really well, but He loves you just a little bit less.
I don’t know what it may be for you, but I know in my life, I’ve felt that God had to love me, was obligated to love, but didn’t really like me. His love felt academic and I rarely experienced it. He felt more like a taskmaster telling me to “Do this!” but “Don’t do that!” and less like a loving Father who loves to lavish good gifts on His girl.
If any of that resonates with you, this is what I would say over coffee.
February is the month of love. I’d like to show you some love and I’m wondering if you’re willing to show me some love.
Here’s how it works: Each week I will select one person as a recipient of one of these three books:
- Reset: 20 Ways to a Consistent Prayer Life by Bob Sorge
- Sister, Walk in Truth: Pursuing God’s Truth in Today’s Pop-Culture Christianity compiled by Chrystan Ferrell
- Psalm Prayers for Kids: A 40-Day Prayer Journal by Sarah Keeling
To enter to win one of these books, would you either:
- Record a voice message using the Voice Memo app on your phone, including your name, state, and what you like about the podcast, then email it to me
- Or email me about how the podcast has helped you live out grace in real life.
Just email the voice message or written testimonial to info at jill e mccormick dot com
I’ll pick one winner every Tuesday at 12p CST. So we’ll have winners selected on February 9, 16, and 23. And each winner will pick which book she’d like!
- Key Quotes
- There is nothing that you could do to make God love you more or less.
- In God’s kingdom, there’s no quid pro quo or reciprocity or bartering. There is only God’s Son nailing your sins to the cross so you bear them no more.
- God is in the restoration business.
- All of your past has led you here, and God will lead you to what makes you come fully alive.
- Hold tightly to God’s hand for it is mighty to save and has your name written on it.
- Mentioned in the Podcast
###### The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!
- Reset: 20 Ways to a Consistent Prayer Life by Bob Sorge
- Sister, Walk in Truth: Pursuing God’s Truth in Today’s Pop-Culture Christianity compiled by Chrystan Ferrell
- Psalm Prayers for Kids: A 40-Day Prayer Journal by Sarah Keeling
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
In our second episode of the Delete + Reset series, we talk about race, racism, and your role in racial reconciliation as Dr. Lucretia Berry, founder of Brownicity, joins the show.
How exactly is “race” defined? What is racism? Who has white privilege? Dr. Berry defines these terms and helps us delete mindsets that are unhealthy and holding back our country (and our relationships!) like the “bootstrap mentality” and staying quiet so we don’t offend people. She also shares three practical ways to talk to your kids about race in a non-awkward way.
I love how Dr. Berry talked about how we don’t live in a vacuum so what we do impacts our collective and how silence aligns with complicity because lies don’t mind being loud, obnoxious, and wrong.
If you want to know how to talk about race with your kids and friends, how to replace antiquated mindsets with God’s truth, and how to make our country a better place to live, and you’re ready for a conversation about race that’s handled with grace and kindness, listen in.
Key Quotes * “Race is not biological. It’s policies and practices put in place to hold people in particular categories in relation to power.” - Dr. Lucretia Berry * “Race isn’t a topic we learn about; we just live the consequences of it.” - Dr. Lucretia Berry * “It does take miracles to intersect and disrupt the system.” - Dr. Lucretia Berry * “We all collectively impact each other. We don’t live in a vacuum.” - Dr. Lucretia Berry * “If you have the opportunity to contribute and cultivate and create a neighborhood that resonates love for everyone, wouldn’t you want to do that?” - Dr. Lucretia Berry * “Our silence aligns with our complicity.” - Dr. Lucretia Berry * “Lies don’t mind being loud.” - Dr. Lucretia Berry * “We do have to be conduits of love and truth.” - Dr. Lucretia Berry * “Silence allows the lies to be loud and obnoxious and wrong… and attractive.” - Dr. Lucretia Berry * “Shed the lies. Lean into the truth.” - Dr. Lucretia Berry * “When we talk about race, the Holy Spirit is always in the room.” - Jill E. McCormick
Mentioned in the Podcast ###### The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!
- Be a part of the Podcast Facebook group for a chance to win a spot in Dr. Berry’s course
- What LIES Between Us course
- Brownicity
- Hidden Figures movie
- “But slavery was so long ago” timeline
- Brownicity’s course for kids
- Books for kids
- Jill’s book recommendations to learn about race and racial healing
- Jill’s Inner Critic Challenge
About Dr. Lucretia Berry Dr. Lucretia Carter Berry is the founder of Brownicity: Many Hues, One Humanity, an agency dedicated to advocacy, education, and support for racial healing and antiracism that hosts thousands of learners committed to an antiracism learning journey.
She is a wife to Nathan and a mother of three girls.
A former college professor, she is learning to courageously create the world for which she is designed. Lucretia created a ‘beginners’ course and authored the accompanying study guide called, What LIES Between Us: Fostering First Steps Toward Racial Healing.
Lucretia earned her Ph.D. in Curriculum and Instruction and MA in English from Iowa State University, and her BA from South Carolina State University.
Lucretia and her family get to be a part of the amazing community that is Mosaic Church, Charlotte. She finds joy in prayer, dark-chocolate covered almonds, and dancing!
Here’s how to connect with Dr. Lucretia Berry * Dr. Berry's Instagram * Brownicity Website * Brownicity Twitter * Brownicity Facebook * Brownicity Instagram
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
How does your Enneagram type impact your goals? Does your personality type shape how you view, set, and achieve goals? In this episode, you’ll learn how your Enneagram type views goals, whether you set goals, how you accomplish your goals, how goals make you feel, and four healthy habits to incorporate into your life. If you'd like an overview of what the Enneagram is, what it isn't, and how it can help you grow spiritually, grab a free copy of Your Quick Start Guide to the Enneagram. It breaks down each type, how to determine your type and wing, and what you need to know to become who God created you to be. You'll slowly shed who you are not to become the person God intended. Grab it here!
Key Quotes * Regardless of what type of goal-setter you are, remember that you don’t have to be perfect, stuff down your feelings and needs, work for love, strive to be cared for, or hold all things together. * This year, remember that Jesus is just crazy about you. * You have a God who lacks nothing and gives everything.
Mentioned in the Podcast * Your Quick Start Guide to the Enneagram * The Inner Critic Challenge * Episode #7: What the Enneagram is, what it isn’t, and why it’s important to your spiritual growth * Episode #47: Real-life grace for the Enneagram Eight with Celia Miller * Episode #49: Real-life grace for the Enneagram Nine with Karen Gauvreau * Episode #31: Real-life grace for the Enneagram One with Esther Littlefield * Episode #33: Real-life grace for the Enneagram Two with Natalie Gingrich * Episode #35: Real-life grace for the Enneagram Three with Rebecca Peet * Episode #38: Real-life grace for the Enneagram Four with Sarah Westfall * Episode #40: Real-life grace for the Enneagram Five with Loretta Gjeltema * Episode #42: Real-life grace for the Enneagram Six with Dr. Camden Morgante * Episode #44: Real-life grace for the Enneagram Seven with Dorina Gilmore
Here’s how to connect with Jill * Website * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
In this interview, wife, mom, author, and artist Jami Amerine and I tackle a topic that has been a struggle for me and so many other women our weight, body image, and jean size. We want to know where Jesus fits in as we honor and care for ourselves.
Through the Delete + Reset series, we’ll talk about mindsets we need to delete because they don’t serve us well (and in most cases aren’t even right) and then we reset our brains with the truth.
In this interview, Jami, who loves lipstick and says casseroles are her love language, talks about true, godly wellness. And y’all, talking about wellness is like peeling an onion, there is so much more to it than just calories, working out, and preparing for beach trips with our kids.
We talk about what’s going on when you feel elated when you meet your weight loss goal and devastated when you don’t, wow to move away from legalism and toward grace, even when you love checklists, and how to determine what’s for you and what’s not for you.
The topics of weight loss and wellness are trendy every January, but these areas are, and have been, a very real struggle for me.
I’m guessing you have set a weight-loss or eat-better or get-in-shape or be-healthier goal this year or you have in the past.
This podcast will be a delightfully refreshing take on wellness, hope, and the grace God so lavishly showers upon us. Listen in!
Key Quotes “ I am fully loved. I am fully adored. God is crazy about me.” - Jami Amerine
“Think about what you want to do as an outpouring, instead of what you “should” or feel indebted to do.” - Jami Amerine
“What grace does is it allows you to just be in love.” - Jami Amerine
“Believe that you are being loved, that you are being taken care of.” - Jami Amerine
“If we have one solution all the time, one size fits all, all the time for wellness, what parts of us are then left unwell because we weren’t cared for as individual daughters of the Most High?” - Jami Amerine
“To not be cared for, to not be loved, to not be adored, to not be cherished, to not be seen and heard and known, that would be the opposite of wellness.” - Jami Amerine
“Everything we need for wellness is in us because Christ is in us.” - Jami Amerine
“You are totally and perfectly loved, and that makes your choices so much clearer.” - Jami Amerine
“Partner with this God, whose ways are perfect and who is crazy about you, to change the world, because He did it first, not because you have to.” - Jami Amerine
Mentioned in the Podcast ###### The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!
Well, Girl by Jami Amerine https://amzn.to/39kWF8y
Stolen Jesus by Jami Amerine: https://amzn.to/35t09V5
Inner Critic Challenge: http://bit.ly/InnerCriticChallenge2021
Why losing the weight will never make you feel like “enough” https://www.jillemccormick.com/weight/
How losing the baby weight almost broke my brain and stole my joy https://www.jillemccormick.com/achievingweightloss/
Made Like Martha by Katie M. Reid: https://amzn.to/35tagJy
About Jami Amerine Jami Amerine is a writer, speaker, and artist. She is a three-time published author and royalty artist. She and her husband, Justin, live in the North Houston, Texas area. They have six children ranging in age from 6-25 and are advocates for foster care and adoption.
Here’s how to connect with Jami Website: https://sacredgroundstickyfloors.com
Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/shop/JamiAmerinesStudio
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jamiamerine/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sacredgrounds.stickyfloors
Twitter: https://twitter.com/jamiamerine
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/sacredsticky
Here’s how to connect with Jill GraceInRealLifePodcast.com: https://www.jillemccormick.com/podcast/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jillemccormick/
Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/768943113516327/
Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/jill.mccormick.129
Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email: http://bit.ly/subscribingisawesome
To start the new year, we’re feeding our hearts truth and hope for the new year by replacing long-held -- but untrue -- beliefs with what Jesus says.
What you really want at the start of a new year is hope. While I cannot promise only goodness in this new year, I can give you hope and freedom to start the year with a fresh perspective, one built on truth and love. In this episode, we’ll examine four statements that try-hard girls believe and we’ll replace them with truth.
You want to start and live this year with your feet firmly planted on what is true.
If you’re ready to speak truth to your heart,
If you’re ready for hope and freedom,
If you’re ready to start the new year with grace,
Listen in.
Today, we’re going to get hope, freedom, grace, and truth as we carefully examine these 4 lies:
- I should…
- If I really loved Jesus/people, I would…
- I need to be able to point to a finished product to show my value.
- There’s nothing I can do about...
We’ll unpack:
- What is true about each statement
- What isn’t true
- And your next most gracious step.
I sprinkle in a few personal examples and share conversations I’ve had with Jesus.
Belief #1: I should…
“Shoulds” are a tangled web because they sound very much like something Jesus would say,
yet they make you feel heavy instead of light. However, “shoulds” rarely bring you closer into alignment with the Jesus-expression of yourself
Let’s break down “the shoulds:”
The truth is there is work for you to do. God says He pre-planned good work for you with your name on it. Doing God’s good work blesses you and conforms you more and more into the image of Christ.
The lie is that everything that crosses your path is for you to do at this season and stage of life. These lies come in the form of external expectations and demands that do not serve you well and drain you instead of giving you joy and peace.
Your most gracious next step is to bring Jesus your list of “shoulds” and talk with Him about them. This may take you many, many conversations to iron out, depending on how long the list is.
Belief #2: If I loved Jesus or people, I would…
Let’s break down guilt-inducing statements:
The truth is: loving Jesus means obeying Him, love moves us to action. In John 14:15 -- after Jesus washed His disciples’ feet and talked about His impending death, Jesus tells His followers this, “If you love me, you will do the things I command.” Jesus’ heart is all about serving and sharing information with His friends.
It is true if you love Jesus, you obey Him. You will do what He says. Followers of Christ not only love others through words but through deeds. Those who love Jesus, shine a light to the world around them, never keeping it to themselves.
The lie is how this truth is twisted from loving Jesus means obeying Him, to loving a leader means obeying him/her. You may have been told directly - or you’ve picked up on subtle messaging by church leaders or other Christians in different ways -- what people who love Jesus do.
Your most gracious next step is to ask Jesus about the statements you’re hearing about serving and tithing, and asking Him what He wants you to do.
Belief #3: I need to be able to point to a finished product to show my value.
Let’s break down the achievement mindset:
The truth is that God created good works for you to do. Jesus’ brother James tells us that we are to be do-ers of the word not just hearers of the word. Yes, doing is wired into the DNA of God’s kids.
The lie is that your value comes from what you’re doing, how much you achieved and how successful you are. Bonus points if in a good, old-fashioned game of comparison with others, you come out on top.
Your most gracious next step is to be open-handed in this season and in your life.
Belief #4: There’s nothing I can do about...
Let’s break down the discouraged mindset:
The truth is one person cannot stop a global pandemic on her own, one person cannot repair and restore centuries of despicable and unequal treatment of an entire race, and one person who knows how to handle her words online can’t change the behavior of everyone else on the internet.
The truth is that God calls us to this: whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
We are to think of Jesus -- because truth, nobility, righteousness, purity are who Jesus is and then we are to act.
The lie our enemy wants you to believe is that because you cannot fix everything, you might as well camp out in your despair and discouragement. Because your brain feels foggy and forgetful -- not creative and energized -- you decide that you’ll just put on your comfy pants and call it a day.
So your gracious next step is to ask Jesus what you can do. Where can you get involved? What can you do to love and serve people around you well? How can you care for an elderly neighbor while keeping her safe?
Key Quotes
- “Shoulds” are a tangled web because they sound very much like something Jesus would say, yet they make you feel heavy instead of light.
- Allow your Good Shepherd, who knows how He wired and knit you together, who knows your strengths, weaknesses, family and financial situation, who knows everything you have on your plate now and will in the future, to lead you with love.
- Grace says that the cross paid for your sins and in the process, freed you from every “should” you will ever experience.
- Jesus uses love and kindness to lead. He does not guilt you into anything.
- It is a lie that tells you that you must have something outside of you that proves the worth inside of you.
- The way of Jesus is to obey the Father, to love people, and to enter hard situations and engage with those who don’t know Him.
- When you hear yourself say “should,” ask if this is something God has put on your heart or if it feels more like an obligation.
- Every season has its own kind of productivity.
- That voice inside your head that tells you you need to do more and try harder isn’t always the voice to listen to, even when it is the loudest.
Mentioned in the Podcast
Inner Critic Challenge
Previous Episode Mentioned
Episode #21: Did I really hear from God or is it just me?
What is it like to be an Enneagram Nine? How can we avoid settling for a false peace? Is expressing what you need and want not as selfish as it seems?
In this interview, writer, wife, mom, and Enneagram Nine Karen Gauvreau shares with us:
- How not to be a wishy-washy mom,
- Three reasons why Nines are resistant to bringing up their hurt feelings,
- And how not to talk to a Nine.
If you are a Nine, know or love a Nine, or have never met a Nine, this episode is so insightful in helping you:
- Learn two practical ways to get better at expressing your needs, wants, and dreams,
- And what it looks like to carve out time for your dreams even when little people are in the house.
If you’re ready for some wisdom and enlightenment, listen in.
Key Quotes
- “When you’re not able to deal with conflict… you’re not giving relationships a chance to go deeper.” - Karen Gauvreau
- “Find friends who will draw you out and not just let you listen.” - Karen Gauvreau
- “We can encourage our kids to see beyond themselves. When we accommodate all the time, we’re not giving them a chance to grow those muscles.” - Karen Gauvreau
- “We have to show grace to our bumpy bits.” - Karen Gauvreau
- “Help us know we don’t have to prove anything.” - Karen Gauvreau
- “There’s no value in beating ourselves up.” - Karen Gauvreau
- “Embrace the whole package.” - Karen Gauvreau
- “You are you, and just be your amazing self. That’s how you’ll serve your people best.” - Karen Gauvreau
- “Our gifts to the world don’t have to be loud or sparkly. They can be quiet and gentle words and wisdom.” - Karen Gauvreau
Mentioned in the Podcast
The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!
- Focus on the Family
- MOPS
- 6 Ways to Keep Calm When Your Kids Push Your Buttons 12 Times Before Breakfast
- Navigating the Road with Our Teens
- The Enneagram Four
- Christa Hutchins
- Marken Media Co.
- Brittany Spencer Creative
- Facebook group
Previous Episodes Mentioned
- Episode #7: What the Enneagram is, what it isn’t, and why it’s important to your spiritual growth
- Episode #31: Real-life grace for the Enneagram One with Esther Littlefield
- Episode #32: Embracing where you are in your real life with Kennan Buckner
Here’s how to connect with Karen Gauvreau
- Website
Here’s how to connect with Jill
- GraceInRealLifePodcast.com
- Facebook group
- Facebook page
- Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
We’re talking about Jesus, our tiredness, and His With-Ness. At the end, I offer up a simple prayer.
It’s the end of 2020 -- if you’re listening to this in real-time -- and you are tired. Today’s episode meets you right where you are, and is a shot of grace straight to your heart.
There are no steps. No points or principles that all start with the same alliterative letter. Nope. Just you. Just Jesus. Because isn’t that what you need right now more than any other thing? So if you are tired for any reason and just want to sit down on the inside, listen in.
A prayer for the woman tired at the end of the year (or really any time!) Dear God,
You see me (Genesis 16:13). You see me when the alarm goes off and I roll over, irritated and tired. You see the desires of my heart and you hear my sighing. (Psalm 38:9) You see me, and You are so very, very, very happy You made me (Psalm 18:19).
You are patient, gentle, and kind with my heart, so on the days I feel like there is too much to do and not enough time to do it, I can come to You (1 Corinthians 13).
You never bully me into doing more or trying harder or making me feel guilty. In fact, You came to set me free from anything that entangles me or wants to control me (Hebrews 13:1).
You never condemn me. You came to save me, and sometimes I need to be saved from myself, and the overwhelm and guilt and worry I carry (John 3:17).
You are never disappointed in me even when I am disappointed in myself for messing up or saying the wrong thing or forgetting something. My sin and mistakes don’t scare You or push You away (2 Corinthians 5).
You will never accuse me of not doing enough, that is the work of my enemy -- not my Good Shepherd (Revelation 12:10).
Today, I will not beat myself up for not being able to do All The Things or execute life perfectly, because I am a human who needs a Helper. Jesus came to be God With Me, Immanuel (Matthew 1:23).
I was created for a daily relationship with the God of the Universe, where You walk with me to guide me and help me and answer my questions because You know I have no idea what I’m doing (Psalm 23).
I will breathe deeply and take in the truth that You are here, holding it all together. (Colossians 1:17)You are the One in whom, by whom, and for whom, all things hold together. I am too finite. Too human. Too little for that.
So I will enjoy my littleness.
I will enjoy that I can put my hand in Yours any time (Isaiah 41:13). I will enjoy that my Big Father God has got all this under control, leaving me free to play, rest, work, think, and enjoy the gifts and responsibilities You’ve given me (Revelation 1:17).
So when I am weary and worried and irritated and wonder if you’re the only one who cares, will you shower me with grace upon grace (John 1:16)? For the entire universe is at Your disposal and You give me everything I need (Psalm 50:7-15).
When I don’t know where to start or what to do next, I will bring You what I have. Will You break it, multiply it, and hand it back to me (Matthew 14:13-21)?
When I feel worn out and wish someone else could handle All The questions and frustrations of disappointed family members or co-workers, will you take me under your wing? (Psalm 17:8) I will feel safe and warm under Your protection.
When I feel overwhelmed by leading and believe that I have to know all the answers and always be brave and that I’m not allowed to fall apart, will you take my hand, sit me on Your lap, give me the permission to let go of all I hold inside then comfort me as the compassionate God of all comfort?
When I need a hug and reassurance that I am doing a good job, will you remind me of Your first thought about me? You thought, “It is very good” (Genesis 1:31).
And when I do not feel this to be true, may I boldly approach the throne of grace with all the confidence in the world so I can receive mercy and find grace when I’m just worn out. (Hebrews 4:16)
You love me so. And if -- and when -- I ever doubt that I will look to the cradle and the cross, because You couldn’t say it any louder.
Amen.
Key Quotes On the days I feel like there is too much to do and not enough time to do it, I can come to God.
God came to save me, and sometimes I need to be saved from myself, and the overwhelm and guilt and worry I carry.
Today, I will not beat myself up for not being able to do All The Things or execute life perfectly, because I am a human who needs a Helper.
I will enjoy my littleness.
When I feel overwhelmed by leading and believe that I have to know all the answers and always be brave and that I’m not allowed to fall apart, will you take my hand, sit me on Your lap, give me the permission to let go of all I hold inside then comfort me as the compassionate God of all comfort?
What is it like to be an Enneagram Eight? How can an Eight (or any of us!) learn to be vulnerable when we hate showing our weaknesses? How can we redefine failure?
In this interview, author and wife Celia Miller shares with us:
- What confrontation really is,
- What to do when you’re afraid of letting down your walls to allow others in,
- How the gospel is really a battle for our hearts and for love,
- The truth about exposing weakness,
- And what it means in real-life to live broken.
If you are an Eight, know or love an Eight, or have never met an Eight, this episode is so insightful in helping you:
- learn how to let down your guard,
- quit thinking of failure as your defining feature,
- and process your feelings with Jesus.
If you’re ready for some wisdom and enlightenment, listen in.
Key Quotes
- “I see confrontation as a means to a solution.” - Celia Miller
“Run to Jesus’ feet, spend time with Him, and remember what is true.” - Celia Miller - “The gospel is a love I will never be able to fathom, but one I am just so thankful for.” - Celia Miller
- “God is a fighter. He fights for love. He fights for us. He pursues us, and He knows us fully.” - Celia Miller
- “Allow failures to become lessons and not the end-all, be-all.” - Celia Miller
- “Allow God to open your heart to live with a heart wide open.” - Celia Miller
Mentioned in the Podcast
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- Brene Brown
- Lessons in the Desert by Sarah E. Frazer
- Emerald Editing + Copywriting
Previous Episode Mentioned
Episode #7: What the Enneagram is, what it isn’t, and why it’s important to your spiritual growth
Here’s how to connect with Celia Miller
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What’s really going on when we want to put on our comfy pants and not engage with people?
We are all tired of adulting and over-analyzing, and being hyper-vigilant about All The Things. We just want a break because this has been one crazy year, so, in this episode, we break down:
- What we mean by “comfy pants”
- Why we all want to put on our comfy pants
- And a choose-your-own grace-filled next step.
So if you just want to put on your comfy pants, not be bothered, and escape, listen in.
Key Quotes * You do not have to live from a place of fear or striving or worry that you’re not doing enough or that God is disappointed in you. God is crazy about you, where you are, as you are. * Relax knowing God holds all things together, including you. * You’re a human, with limited capacity and finite time, doing the best job you can in extreme circumstances. * God doesn’t expect anything of you; He only invites you into His presence. * Put on your comfy pants and talk to Jesus.
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- Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
- Jill’s editing side hustle
- Elf
- The West Wing
- The Office
- The BEMA Podcast
- The Inner Critic Challenge
- A third of Americans now show signs of clinical depression or anxiety
- Alcohol consumption rising sharply during pandemic, especially among wome
- When young adults were asked by the CDC if they had seriously considered suicide in the past 30 days, about 25 percent said they had.
- National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 800-273-8255
- How to talk with loved ones when you’re worried about their mental health
- Association of Biblical Counselors
- American Association of Christian Counselors
- Global Counseling Network
Previous Episodes Mentioned * Episode #3: Are you a try-hard girl? * Episode #29: How to acknowledge your feelings but not stay stuck in them * Episode #39: Freedom for the woman keeping a full schedule and chasing shiny things with Amanda Bacon
Here’s how to connect with Jill * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
This episode is all about your thought life and how it influences how you live, whether you strive or steward, whether you pursue your passion or you sit on the sidelines, and whether you move your dreams into reality or you stay stuck.
In this interview, Refresh conference founder, wife, and mom Sarah Birkbeck shares with us:
- What slips us into a “striving mentality” and how we can stop it dead in its tracks
- About how to navigate the tension that comes from being a multi-passionate mama,
- And one practical tool to stop comparison.
If you struggle with white-knuckling through life, trying to keep everybody happy, moving your dreams into reality, and comparing yourself to others, listen in!
Key Quotes * “If I can just steward what is right in from of me right now… then God’s going to help me work through each thing.” - Sarah Birkbeck * “Where did the striving start? And what am I trying to accomplish? And who am I trying to accomplish this for?” - Sarah Birkbeck * “Get before the Lord and ask Him, ‘What is your vision?’” - Sarah Birkbeck * “No matter how I feel today, Lord, you’ve asked me to do something, and I want to be found faithful.” - Sarah Birkbeck * “You are needed. Whatever the Lord has put in your heart to step out in, only you can bring that out into the earth the way He’s designed you to.” - Sarah Birkbeck * “I find a fight inside of me to say, ‘I will do this.’” - Sarah Birkbeck
Mentioned in the Podcast * Refresh Conference. Get your tickets here! * Gift ideas curated by Enneagram type * Jill’s side hustle: Emerald Editing + Copywriting
About Sarah Birkbeck Sarah is the founder and visionary of Refresh, a ministry dedicated to activating women to advance the Kingdom of God. She is a speaker, passionate about leading women to discover their kingdom purposes.
Sarah lives in North Dallas with her husband James, son Asher, and daughters Stella, Skyla, and Adeline.
Here’s how to connect with Sarah * Website * Sarah’s Instagram * Refresh’s Instagram
Here’s how to connect with Jill * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
What is it like to be an Enneagram Seven? When you love to chase the joy, how do Sevens handle the hard? How can you love the Sevens in your life well?
In this interview, wife, mom, author, podcaster, runner, and Enneagram Seven Dorina Gilmore shares with us:
- What a Seven longs for above all,
- The most counter-intuitive way to extend grace to yourself,
- Two practical ways to rest when you have a jam-packed schedule,
- And the spiritual discipline of letting your pace be your pace.
If you are an Enneagram Seven, know or love a Seven, or just have a hard time confronting the pain in your life, this episode is for you. Dorina gives us practical grace on how to rest well and how to chase God’s glory. Listen in!
Key Quotes * One of my super-powers is joy. - Dorina Gilmore * There is actually a joy in missing out. - Dorina Gilmore * My God is bigger than all my problems, all my challenges, even my future. - Dorina Gilmore * Hope is always the thing I’ll move toward. - Dorina Gilmore * Even if what you’re facing today looks like complete darkness, there is a pinhole of light. - Dorina Gilmore * One of the most powerful ways to extend grace myself is by embracing rest. - Dorina Gilmore * Chase after His glory. - Dorina Gilmore * In different seasons, we have to run at different paces. - Dorina Gilmore * Let your pace be your pace. - Dorina Gilmore
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- The Road Back to You by Ian Cron + Suzanne Stabile
- Becoming Us by Jeff + Beth McCord
- The Sacred Enneagram by Christopher Heuertz
- Strengths Finder
- Emily P. Freeman
- Walk Run Soar by Dorina Gilmore Young + Shawn Young
- Emerald Editing + Copywriting
Previous Episode Mentioned * Episode #7: What the Enneagram is, what it isn’t, and why it’s important to your spiritual growth
Here’s how to connect with Dorina Gilmore * Website * Podcast * Instagram * Facebook * What's your Biblical runner personality?
Here’s how to connect with Jill * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
In this episode, we talk about the importance of grieving hurts, losses, and the hardship of 2020, so we can whole-heartedly embrace thankfulness.
We break down:
- What hardships we’re grieving
- Why we feel the pressure to be thankful
- Our default methods for handling grief
- Jesus’ way of practicing grief and thankfulness
- And what to do if you truly cannot feel thankful this season.
So if you’re wondering how to navigate a Thanksgiving that will -- most likely -- look and feel different than any other year, you’re in the right place.
We feel heavy because we are processing and grieving: * The cancer diagnosis * Sending the first-born off to college * Our inability to attend a funeral * The loss of getting together with friends * The lack of normalcy -- like wearing masks, delayed or shortened sports seasons for our kids, * And the reality that not everyone will be able to sit around a shared table at Thanksgiving this year.
We also feel the pressure to be thankful. It is Thanksgiving week after all. This is the one time of year where the spotlight is on counting our blessings and listing what we’re grateful for over turkey, dressing, cornbread, sweet potatoes, and pumpkin pie.
Who spoils this special time of year by leading with grief and bringing up the hard times of this year?
To navigate the tension between grief and gratitude, we employ quite a few coping mechanisms: 1. We deny our grief by telling ourselves that whatever we’ve lost didn’t really matter, it wasn’t all that important, and that compared to other people, it really isn’t all that bad. 2. We escape by overeating, over-scheduling, planning a fantasy move to Hawaii, or binge-watching The Crown on Netflix. 3. We wear the “Mask of Thankfulness” by making a list of all our blessings and beating our hearts over the head by reminding ourselves God works all things for good. 4. And finally, we tell ourselves emotions are for the weak, and we need to power through and be strong for one day. For crying out loud, there’s no room for pain here!
So what do we do? Is it possible for gratitude and grief and hardship to intersect? Yes. And Jesus shows us the way in John 11 as Mary and Martha grieve the loss of their brother Lazarus.
Jesus sees Mary weeping. He is deeply moved. Some translations say that He got angry at death. Jesus asks a logistical question: “Where did you bury him?”
And then Jesus cries.
Notice what Jesus does not do:
- He doesn’t recite how wonderful Lazarus was and how grateful they should all be to have known him.
- He doesn’t wax poetic about all the good times and inside jokes.
- Jesus doesn’t tell them to buck up and count their blessings.
He simply sits with a grieving sister and weeps with her. Does this make Jesus ungrateful? Do the tears show mistrust in God? Does His anger at death belie unbelief that good could come from this hurt?
Of course not.
The truth of being a human is that we can hold two competing emotions at the same time: grief and gratitude, distress and thankfulness, contrition and contentment.
Jesus shows us that we don’t need to bury our emotions or rush to thanksgiving.
We can:
- sit in our feelings,
- feel them in our core,
- ask Jesus to come and see our hurt,
- and then, from a place of trust and peace, give thanks.
This is what grace does -- grace understands our humanity and comes alongside of us to work on our behalf.
Grace says you can grieve.
Grace says Jesus will stand with you through it.
Grace says that you don’t have to respond the way the calendar tells you that you’re “supposed to.”
Grace makes a way for multiple emotions at the same time without a need to justify any of them.
And friend, when you simply cannot muster up thankfulness, when you cannot hand over the grief to Jesus, when you feel stuck in your heartache... Live in the grace that tells you that clarity, peace, rest, hope, and assurance all come in Jesus’ time. You don’t have to rush yourself into converting every hard thing into a thankful phrase. Know there is grace even in the grief.
Key Quotes * Know there is grace even in the grief. * Grace says you can grieve, and Jesus will stand with you through it. * Grace makes a way for multiple emotions at the same time without a need to justify any of them. * Talking to Jesus is always a good choice and always makes you feel most like yourself.
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- The Crown on Netflix
- The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown
- Learning more about Jill E. McCormick speaking to your group
Previous Episode Mentioned * Episode #29: How to acknowledge your feelings but not stay stuck in them
Here’s how to connect with Jill * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
What is it like to be an Enneagram Six? What are practical ways to handle the anxiety that Sixes (and others!) experience? How can you love the Sixes in your life well?
In this interview, Camden and I break down:
- What it’s like to be an Enneagram Six
- How to keep yourself from over-analyzing so you can make a decision
- How to strengthen your trust-in-God muscle
- And one practical strategy to keep your thoughts from spiraling out of control
Camden shared so much insight with us about how to know when you’re slipping into an anxious mindset and what to do about it as well as how to be vulnerable even when you’re scared.
Key Quotes * I need to trust myself and trust God and have faith in Him rather than feeling the need to look to the experts to tell me what to do. - Dr. Camden Morgante * I just have to force myself to make a decision, knowing there is no perfect decision, there is no decision that will bring me complete, 100% security. - Dr. Camden Morgante
About Dr. Camden Morgante Dr. Camden is a licensed clinical psychologist who writes about psychology, Christianity, and gender equality on her website and on social media.
She is a therapist in private practice and a college professor of psychology. She is also a regular contributor to Christians for Biblical Equality’s blog Mutuality.
Camden lives with her husband, toddler daughter, and two rescue pups in Knoxville, Tennessee. Fun fact: Camden wrote her doctoral dissertation on grace and then named her daughter after it!
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- Your Enneagram Coach on Instagram
- Becoming Us course
- Becoming Us book by Jeff and Beth McCord
Previous Episode Mentioned * Episode #7: What the Enneagram is, what it isn’t, and why it’s important to your spiritual growth
Here’s how to connect with Dr. Camden Morgante * Website * Instagram * Facebook
Here’s how to connect with Jill * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
How can we respond as grace-givers and Christ-followers when we experience unkind, hurtful, and shocking interactions with friends and family about the election? What do we do when people’s reactions to the election drive are exasperating and exhausting?
In this episode, we will:
- Process what you’re feeling and experiencing
- Decide what to do next. (I share some do’s and don’ts, and not one idea is cliche. Promise!)
So if you’re wondering how to give grace when you feel bullied, exhausted, and over it, listen in.
Let’s process what you’re feeling right now Your feelings shouldn’t be in charge, but it’s not healthy for you if they are ignored, numbed, or judged.
You feel what you feel. This is an objective truth. No one can -- or should -- argue you out of whatever is going on in your heart right now.
So what do we do with all these emotions? We do what is written in Psalm 42:4-6: we pour out our hearts to God. But what exactly does that look like in real life?
It means -- in Jill Langauge -- to vent everything you’re experiencing to God Himself. Sharing every hurt, wound, and traumatic interaction with God is how we get healing and wholeness.
Others are experiencing the same heartache and hurt you are Y’all, people are scared. Worried. Nervous. They believe they are 100% right and simultaneously powerless, so they explain and justify their rightness through words.
Deep down, people believe their anger can somehow protect their hearts from further attacks. The best defense is a good offense, right?
So as much grace as you want for yourself, remember the “other side” needs grace, compassion, and understanding just as much as we do.
So what do we do? What are some next steps we can take in grace, love, and compassion? Start by taking these six steps. 1. “Do the hard work of love.” 2. Put on the armor of God. 3. be careful about what assumptions you make. 4. be confident in the object of your faith. 5. know what hills to die on. 6. embrace the power of “and.”
I recommend opting out of these three mindsets: 1. Do not give up who you are or sacrifice your values to keep the peace. 2. Do not be shocked when people act like people. 3. Do not believe that all Christians vote the same way.
Here are 10 questions to think about as you conduct your own State of the Union: 1. What about how another person voted unsettles me? 2. How can my unsettledness reveal the assumptions I’m making about that person, the future, and God’s sovereign plan? 3. Is it possible that because of where I live, my education, socioeconomic status, life experience, or race there are some dynamics and perspectives I can’t see? 4. Am I willing to engage a person of a different political party with the desire to seek first to understand then be understood? Why or why not? 5. Do I view this time as “us vs. them”? 6. Does my view align with God’s view? 7. Does the content I consume perpetuate this view of “us vs. them”? 8. Should I take a break from the news or social media if I begin to view others as adversaries? 9. Do I pray for “my side to win” or do I pray for God’s will to be done for all -- even those people who are nothing like me? 10. How am I putting my hands and feet where my vote is? For example, if you voted for a candidate because she is pro-life, how much time are you spending volunteering or supporting a pro-life organization?
Key Quotes * If you’re experiencing weakness, heartache, hurt, anger, frustration, your Jesus felt it first, and He modeled for you how to respond to it. * We can rest that Jesus will make all things right in the end, and we can act now by doing what is best, next. * Loving others right now looks like showing up for the people in your life who you don’t agree with politically. * The more we attack others, the happier our enemy gets. Let’s make him really unhappy by being unified. * Remember that none of us is the sum total of our political choices or voting record. * Don’t buy into the lie that if you believe in this then you automatically hate or don’t care about that. * Do not be offended or surprised when people act like the wounded, frustrated, broken people they are. * Be the first grace-giver that person who drives you crazy has ever experienced.
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- Brownicity and Dr. Lucretia Berry
- Learning more about having Jill speak to your group
- The best Enneagram books all Enneagram-lovers need to read
Previous Episodes Mentioned * Episode #29: How to acknowledge your feelings but not stay stuck in them * Episode #34: How to be a grace-giver this election season * Episode #39: Freedom for the woman keeping a full schedule and chasing shiny things with Amanda Bacon
Here’s how to connect with Jill * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
What is it like to be an Enneagram Five? How can we love the Fives in our lives well? What can all of us learn about staying engaged in community even when we’d rather put on our comfy pants and avoid people?
In this interview, Loretta Gjeltema shares with us:
- What it’s like to be an Enneagram Five
- 3 strategies to keep you in community even when you want to shut down
- What happens when Fives don’t deal with their issues,
- And the #1 way to love Fives well.
Loretta peels back the curtain on what it’s like to feel broken but wonderfully made, and our role in the sanctification process.
Key Quotes * “My sanctification wasn’t a job left undone. It was a job that didn’t belong to me.” - Loretta Gjeltema * “Our role is cooperation, not conquering.” - Loretta Gjeltema * “This is how you’re made; it’s not how you’re broken.” - Loretta Gjeltema
About Loretta Gjeltema Loretta Gjeltema is a wife, grandmother, writer, former scientist for the CDC, and an Enneagram Five.
Loretta is a teacher who hopes to encourage women to thrive as they engage with God’s word. She writes devotionals, leads a small group and mentors younger women.
She blogs at LorettaGjeltema.com and writes regularly as a member of the team at the Balanced and Beautiful In Christ Facebook group.
She's married to John and has three bonus daughters. She is grandma to seven grandchildren whom she adores!
Loretta enjoys chocolate, the darker the better, and meeting friends for tea or coffee. She accepts teasing from friends about being a “cat lady” and can be found regularly reading for both pleasure and research.
Mentioned in the Podcast ###### The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!
- Episode #7: What the Enneagram is, what it isn’t, and why it’s important to your spiritual growth
- Episode #34: How to be a grace-giver this election season
- Episode #36: What is your Enneagram types’ super-power for offering grace this election season?
- Episode #37: Hope when you’re weary and worried about the 2020 election
- Interested in having Jill speak to your group? Go here.
Here’s how to connect with Loretta Gjeltema * Website * Facebook * Balanced and Beautiful in Christ Facebook group * Instagram
Here’s how to connect with Jill * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Today, we’re getting freedom from the pressure of doing All The Things and the distraction of shiny things. This podcast is for you if you feel pulled by lesser things but want to be focused on the lasting things or if your current pace makes you feel like you’re running into the ground. When devastation has wrecked your life or if you’re telling yourself to just think happier thoughts, this interview is just for you.
In this interview, Amanda shares with us:
- About why we feel pulled by lesser things even when we want to spend our time on the lasting things
- The value of a journal for “Things that Feel Too Hard”
- What to do if you’ve ever told yourself, “I should be able to handle this.”
- And she gives us two challenges along the way.
Win a copy of Shiny Things! Here’s how: 1. If you’ve ever written a review of the Grace In Real Life podcast on iTunes -- first of all -- thank you! And secondly, for today, take a screenshot of your written review. 2. Then email it to me at info@jillemccormick.com by 9 p.m. CST on Tuesday, November 2. 3. I will randomly pick a winner and then email him or her.
Key Quotes * “I am not going to bow down to this idol I think my kids need.” - Amanda Bacon * “God is so faithful. Nothing can stop God’s plan for our kids.” - Amanda Bacon * “We don’t have to be doing all the thing we think we need to be doing.” - Amanda Bacon * “When He leads you there, listen to Him and do the thing.” - Amanda Bacon
About Amanda Bacon Amanda Bacon lives in North Carolina with her husband, Jeremy, and their eight children. She's on staff at Proverbs 31 Ministries on Lysa TerKeurst's team and loves encouraging women with biblical truth and authenticity.
When she isn’t driving carpool or feeding people, you can find her reading, watching British television, or wandering outdoors.
Amanda is the co-host of All the Mom Things podcast, the host of the At Night podcast, and the co-author of Shiny Things: Mothering on Purpose in a World of Distractions.
Mentioned in the Podcast ###### The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!
- Shiny Things: Mothering on Purpose in a World of Distractions
- All about the Enneagram Two
- Proverbs 31 Ministries
- She Speaks
- Amanda’s IG post
- The Proverbs 31 Ministries Podcast: Therapy & Theology episode
Christian Counseling Resources To find these counseling resources, I checked in with a group of online writer friends who are Christians, some of whom are also counselors.
Now, I have not used these organizations nor do I have personal experience with them. However, I read about these organizations through their websites and believe they may be a fit for you.
My recommendation -- however -- cannot replace your own personal research or prayer life with Jesus about this.
- Association of Biblical Counselors
- American Association of Christian Counselors
- Global Counseling Network
Here’s how to connect with Amanda Bacon * Website * All the Mom Things podcast * At Night podcast * Instagram
Here’s how to connect with Jill * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
What it’s like to be an Enneagram Four? What can you do when you struggle with contentment and comparison? And how in the world can you practice silence when your house is loud?
In this episode, I talk with Sarah E. Westfall, an Enneagram Four. We talk about:
- the difference between rigidity and rhythms
- the spiritual discipline of sharing the spotlight
- how to not stay stuck in your emotions
- and why you’ll want to create your own soul practices.
There is So. Much. Practical. Love in this episode.
Win a devotional written by Sarah! Sarah has a devotional out called “Be Still.” I’d love for one of you to win it. Here’s how:
- Go here (it’s Sarah’s interview on my blog)
- Comment on the post by 9 p.m. CST on Monday, November 2.
- I will email the winner.
See how easy that is! Someone is going to win! Why not you?
Key Quotes * “My emotions are God’s language to my soul… They are how God gets my attention.” - Sarah E. Westfall * “Once I felt like I didn’t have to have an answer about everything all the time, that was really freeing to me.” - Sarah E. Westfall * What are my body and emotions telling me about what I need to know to reconnect with God and reconnect with other people?- Sarah E. Westfall * “When I start to say, ‘God, where are you in the present?’I remember who God has been in the past.” - Sarah E. Westfall * “God, who are you? Not who I want you to be. Not who other people say you are. Help me to see You for who You are in Your Word.” - Sarah E. Westfall * “If God can have this broad spectrum of emotion then we, too, can find freedom in that.”- Sarah E. Westfall * “Give yourself permission to learn the language of emotions.” - Sarah E. Westfall
About Sarah E. Westfall Sarah E. Westfall is a fan of good words, good conversation, and big earrings. She lives for lazy Saturday mornings at home, sipping coffee with her husband Ben and watching their four sons play. Sarah is a writer, speaker, and host of the Not My Story podcast.
Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!
- Episode #7: What the Enneagram is, what it isn’t, and why it’s important to your spiritual growth
- Episode #29: How to acknowledge your feelings but not stay stuck in them
- The best Enneagram books all Enneagram-lovers need to read
- To win the “Be Still” devotional, go here
- The Road Back to You by Ian Cron and Suzanne Stabile
- The Path Between Us by Suzanne Stabile
- The Sacred Enneagram by Christophe Heuertz
- Anatomy of the Soul by Curt Thompson, M.D.
Here’s how to connect with Sarah * Website * Instagram: Sarah * Instagram: Not My Story podcast * Podcast * Twitter
Here’s how to connect * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
If you’re struggling with how a Christian should engage with the government, or God’s stance on politics, or what it means to be a voting human in the world today, you’re in the right place because today we’re finding hope in the midst of a bruising election year. If you’re worried and weary in the fall of 2020, there’s plenty of grace and hope to be found.
Today we’re talking about what is true about Jesus, hope, and grace as we enter a contentious and crazy presidential election.
We’re going to break down:
- God’s relationship with politics
- And the hope that is available to all Christians
This episode, it’s all about Jesus, politics, and grace.
Here are two statements that are 100% true: 1. God is both political and above politics. 2. And God says there is hope and we have a future.
God is both political and above politics. Politics is … the means by which we shape our common life. It refers to the various ways humans live together, exercise authority, and seek the common good. Being politically active means caring for our neighbor and stewarding God’s creation.
God is political because He cares deeply about how we care for each other and He shares authority with us, giving us the freedom to create systems that govern, legislate and support flourishing lives.
God is on God’s side. He is ultimate. Ultimate in power, authority, creation, love, sacrifice and mercy. God is above the fray and is for His kingdom work and His will to be done. God is the One who passes out the authority and leadership roles. He is above governance and cannot be governed by man.
So instead of believing that God is on “our side” about certain issues, candidates, and causes, what do we need to do to get in alignment with Him?
Peter outlines quite clearly in 1 Peter 2 how we are to live as Christ-followers in a secular society with a secular government. He says, “Do good.” Doing good sets us apart from non-believers. Being a part of a system and society that helps all flourish means actively participating in the lives of those who need help, or a voice, or an advocate.
Doing good is not something we pass off to the government; doing good is what we are called to do.
So friend who is weary and worried: God says there is hope and we have a future. Friend, my prayer is that you don’t feel defeated or worried about this election. I pray that you feel empowered and engaged.
May we be people who align ourselves with God, who is moving His kingdom forward.
May we be people who know He is sovereign and who know they are stewards of His creation.
May we be people with dual citizenship, who do not cling to one while turning a blind eye to the other.
May we be people who know that what we do here matters because we are shaping how our neighbors and those around the world live, thrive, and flourish.
Key Quotes * We also don’t want to believe that God’s sovereignty and our heavenly citizenry negate our activity. * Being a citizen of heaven with a sovereign God is not an excuse to ignore our current political responsibility. * May we be people with dual citizenship, who do not cling to one while turning a blind eye to the other. * So instead of believing that God is on “our side” about certain issues, candidates, and causes, what do we need to do to get in alignment with Him?
Mentioned in the Podcast ###### The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!
- Kaitlyn Schiess’s The Liturgy of Politics
Previous Episode Mentioned * Episode #34: How to be a grace-giver this election season * Episode #36: What is your Enneagram type’s superpower for offering grace this election season?
Here’s how to connect with Jill * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Episode #36: What is your Enneagram type's super-power for offering grace this election season?
No matter your Enneagram type or political affiliation or age, you are struggling with this election. Over and over statements like this jumped out in my research + preparation:
- “The level of polarization is so high”
- “I’m staying off social media”
- “There’s no debate or discussion; only attacks.”
- “If you don’t agree with someone, they demonize you.”
Politics is about people. And people are made in the image of God. We feel so wonky about this election because we see people destroy each other to score points for their party, and we watch as civil neighbors and friends dehumanize the opposing side.
But let’s dive into the grace your type is specifically wired to bring to the table this election year. Can we start calling this “grace-to-table”? Okay, let’s dig in!
In this episode, we’ll dive into:
- What each type relishes and despises about presidential election years
- Why you feel that way
- How you’re dealing with the election season
- And the grace you bring to the table, grace our world desperately needs right now.
TYPE EIGHT
Our world needs your passionate self at work. Others may be fearful to speak out for all kinds of reasons, but your desire to advocate for others was given to you for such a time as this.
When you look at politics through the lens of the gospel and you remember that only God brings justice and can judge, you are a fearless advocate, and one who speaks out, and steps in when God calls your number.
TYPE NINE
Nines, we need your empathy and your ability to see every side of every issue at the table this year. Others may be so entrenched in their viewpoints that they can’t see the other side’s points, but you can.
We need you. We need you in politics. We need you involved in your communities. We need you speaking out at School Board and City Council meetings. We need you to raise kids who can see all different perspectives, even when we don’t agree or believe the other side is wrong.
TYPE ONE
So Ones, this year bring your grace to the table by putting your passionate improver-self in action.
Continue to get involved.
Continue to push us to do better and be better. Continue to elevate the conversation.
Keep improving your community, your school, your city, your state, and ultimately our nation. We need you involved.
TYPE TWO
Twos, bring your grace to the table by keeping on keeping on.
You are already out there doing it by loving others, building others up, connecting with others, empathizing with others.
Don’t let this political climate stop you from doing that.
Because you are an excellent conversationalist, bring that to the table and start conversations with people of differing political views and party affiliations. Get curious with others in a private and small group to learn more.
And continue to affirm the humanity of others. We lack that, so keep at it.
TYPE THREE
Threes, you are designed to be do-ers, so do.
Do in your community.
Do at the local level.
Don’t worry about what’s important to anyone else. Focus on the issues, causes, and candidates important to you and put all that competency and multi-tasking ability to good use by serving others.
Our world needs you to not only think about what’s important to you or to speak about it, but to do something. Threes can get more done than anybody else, so ask God what He would have you do this presidential election year.
TYPE FOUR
Fours, we need your ability to sit with heavy emotions in this season. Our world is hurting. Injustice reigns. Ego rules. Vitriol dominates.
Sit with those who are hurting. Make space for those who need to be heard. Give people the opportunity to share their stories and experiences. People need to be heard and you are the safest place for those struggling right now.
TYPE FIVE
Fives, you can process information objectively because you can tease out the emotions from the facts, making you extremely level-headed.
Doesn’t our world need more of you in it?
Don’t we need your mind to solve big problems? Don’t we need your clear action plans?
Don’t we need you to study, research, and devise a strategy that is thoughtful and full of hope?
We need your grace at the table. We need you to bring us back to center and to Jesus Christ.
TYPE SIX
Sixes, I’m going to quote Winnie the Pooh to you because Winnie the Pooh speaks truth! “You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” Your gifts of critically thinking, working through a problem, and your trustworthiness are crucial to our country right now.
You have an enormous capacity to serve others. There is no need to doubt yourself. You know what your family, community, and state need. Bring your whole self so we have more grace at the table.
TYPE SEVEN
Sevens, you genuinely love people. You recognize that we are all made in the image of God, and you care about your neighbor.
Bring that energy, passion, and charm to the table. There is grace in your spirit, a joy, and hope that you can offer as you shine your light so God gets the glory.
God has pre-planned good works for you to do. Bring your abundant energy and abounding optimism to the table, so others can catch your joy and hope!
What to do now Friends, no matter how you’re experiencing and navigating this election season, remember that your God is good, and He sees you and loves you.
If you’re handling this time in an unhealthy way, ask God to show you what to change. Ask Him what He wants you to do or say this time of year. Don’t step out without Him!
I don’t know what will happen in November and you don’t either. But we do know that our God is good, and He puts authority in power, and that all of us have a part to play.
This is our country -- of the people, by the people, for the people. We are bound together in our unity as citizens not only of America but citizens of heaven.
This is not our final home. This is not all we’ve got. Jesus has prepared a place for us.
We are God’s daughters, a holy nation, and a royal priesthood with an eternal place to call home.
No matter where we live, who we vote for, or who takes the oath of office in January 2021, our identity and security lie in Christ alone. This is not a cop-out. This is the most real reality we will ever know.
Key Quotes * No matter where we live, who we vote for, or who takes the oath of office in January 2021, our identity and security lie in Christ alone.
Mentioned in the Podcast * Your Quick Start Guide to the Enneagram * Political Conversation Dinner Parties
Previous Episodes Mentioned * Episode #7: What the Enneagram is, what it isn’t, and why it’s important to your spiritual growth * Episode #34: How to be a grace-giver this election season
Here’s how to connect with Jill * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
What is it like to be an Enneagram Three? How can Threes extend grace to themselves? How can we handle interruptions gracefully? And what can we do to balance our love of task with our love of people?
We continue our every-other-week Enneagram series of digging deep into the Enneagram as Grace In Real Life talks with Enneagram Three Rebecca Peet.
In this interview, Rebecca and I break down: * What it’s like to be an Enneagram Three * Practical ways to get rid of comparison and envy * One truth you’ll want to repeat every day * A great litmus test to help you decide your yes’s * And one question you’ll want to ask God
Key Quotes * “Ask yourself, ‘Is this mine to do?’” - Rebecca Peet * “Grace is what God wants for you.” - Rebecca Peet * “It’s not your responsibility to think about what other people think about you.” - Rebecca Peet * “What do you think God doesn’t see when He sees you?” - Rebecca Peet
About Rebecca Peet Rebecca Peet is a writer and Bible study teacher with a passion for encouraging women to grow in their knowledge of God and His Word.
While she has a seminary background and loves to talk all things theologically nerdy, she cares deeply about helping women apply deep truths to their daily lives even more.
She is also a lover of good words and good story, and never leaves home without a good book or two.
She co-hosts the Woven podcast and writes regularly at Extraordinary Treasure, Ordinary Girl, where she encourages her readers as God shows her the extraordinary in the ordinary.
Rebecca is also a Certified Enneagram Coach. And, while she lives in Atlanta with her husband David, and two children; she will always be a Texan at heart.
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- hope*writers
- Enneagram resources
- Typology podcast
Previous Episode Mentioned Episode 7: What the Enneagram is, what it isn’t, and why it’s important to your spiritual growth
Previous Enneagram Episodes * Episode 31: Real-life grace for the Enneagram One with Esther Littlefield * Episode 33: Real-life grace for the Enneagram Two with Natalie Gingrich
Here’s how to connect with Rebecca Peet * Website * Podcast * Instagram * Facebook
Here’s how to connect with Jill * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Today we’re talking about how to give grace to others during the election season.
We’re going to break down:
- Our cultural M.O. every election cycle
- Our three options about how to act
- And practical ways to extend grace to ourselves and others during the election season.
We want to answer this question: How can we love and give grace to people we completely disagree with?
Let’s start by remembering this fundamental truth. Humans are sinful and flawed, and we should not be shocked or surprised when humans act like humans. Friends, we can start passing grace out like candy at a kid’s birthday party by recognizing the truth of our humanity.
This is what grace does.
Here’s how we define grace on this podcast: Grace is God’s gift to us that understands our humanity and comes alongside us to work on our behalf. Grace is based on the truth that we are all imperfect, flawed humans.
Now we have a choice to make: How will we react in the light of harsh words or disagreement? How do we treat each other when we fundamentally disagree on issues important to us? How do we engage with those in the world who hold opposing viewpoints?
We have three options:
- We can choose to win.
- We can choose anger.
- Or we can choose to love.
If we choose to win, we believe we are in charge of policing people, putting the other side in it’s place, and “taking a stand” for what is right. As Christians, we are Kingdom people. We are not donkeys or elephants. We are sheep following the Good Shepherd.
We are not responsible for winning points or setting the record straight or defending Jesus. Jesus never operates on the defensive. We are commissioned to love others and to make disciples.
A second option is to choose anger. Christian, you are to take off your sinful self and your old ways of doing things. So what do you put on? Paul tells us in Colossians 3:12-14:
“Show mercy to others; be kind, humble, gentle, and patient. Do not be angry with each other, but forgive each other. If someone does wrong to you, then forgive him. Forgive each other because the Lord forgave you. Do all these things; but most important, love each other. Love is what holds you all together in perfect unity.”
I’m telling you it’s okay to be angry. Then you must rid yourself of it -- not by pushing it away or ignoring it -- but by talking it through with Jesus then asking what He wants you to do.
So our next option is to choose to love. We know that love perseveres, keeps no record of wrongs, and always hopes.
So if we are to respond to those with whom we vehemently disagree, we must keep these three principles in mind: ONE: You are safe and secure in the unshakable kingdom of God. Your identity is firmly tucked safe and sound in the Person of Jesus Christ. You are His girl, His beloved, His prized possession.
Knowing your identity is so securely kept means that it doesn’t diminish your value or worth when others disagree with you or say hurtful things.
TWO: You are loved freely, and you are free to love others freely. As God’s girls, we are not to respond in anger, but in love. We don’t type a comment because someone made us mad, but because we care about the person on the other side of the screen. We don’t engage in a conversation because we hate the other side and want to trash their arguments. We engage because love is what we’re invited into.
We remember that truth spoken in grace is better given within the context of relationship.
People are swayed by how much we love. People are moved by those in their life -- people like you -- who love God AND love them.
AND THREE: As a daughter of the King, ambassador of Christ, and citizen of heaven, you choose to prioritize relationships over right-ness. We prioritize relationships when we humble ourselves.
You choose relationships, which means you choose to treat others made in the image of God with dignity, respect, kindness, and compassion because all of us have value.
You want to be a grace-giver this season, but how can you do that in real life? Here are 15 ways to give grace in this election season:
BEFORE YOU ENGAGE WITH OTHERS
- Give yourself time to educate, analyze, and ask yourself why you support a political candidate, issue, legislation, or cause.
- Make a plan for how you’ll steward your online presence.
- Think about how you talk about politicians, causes, and issues, especially in front of your kids.
WHILE YOU ENGAGE WITH OTHERS
- Ask God to show you what God sees and loves about the person who is driving you crazy.
- Think of every interaction -- not as a debate or a way to score points -- but as a way to learn more about the other person.
- Tell yourself, “I’m committing to being kind no matter what!” before you log on or bring up politics.
- Don’t assume you know everything about a person simply because they support one cause, candidate, or piece of legislation.
- Ask yourself if you have anything relevant, true, helpful, or kind to add to the conversation. You’re there to love and learn.
WHEN OTHERS ARE HURTFUL
- While the other person may be lobbing attacks your way, they are probably not attacking you personally. They are scared and afraid that you’re chiseling away at their value system. Remember: you are not your political views. You are a complex person. And so is she.
- Ask yourself if maybe you could have gotten something wrong.
- Pause before responding. Remember, you want to go to bed with a clear conscience. Respond. Don’t react. THIS IS INSANELY HARD!
- Please disengage when your dignity and value as a person are under attack. That’s not okay.
OTHER WAYS
- The way you love, interact, and engage doesn’t always include posting on Facebook or talking it out.
- You can serve your neighbor with whom you totally disagree. Serving and loving others unconditionally speaks volumes.
- Maybe you need a news fast. Not forever, just for now.
Key Quotes * Truth spoken in grace is better given within the context of relationship. * We can win the political argument while losing the opportunity to love people and to share Jesus with them. * As Christians, we are Kingdom people. We are not donkeys or elephants. We are sheep following the Good Shepherd. * You are not your political beliefs, and neither is the person with whom you disagree. * You can love others no matter how much you diametrically oppose their political beliefs because loving others means treating people with kindness, patience, hopefulness, humility, and respect. * This election season, prioritize relationship over being right.
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- Unoffendable by Brant Hansen
- I Think You’re Wrong, But I’m Listening: A Guide to Grace-Filled Political Conversations by Sarah Stewart Holland and Beth Silvers
- Emily P. Freeman’s The Next Right Thing podcast
Previous Episode Mentioned * Episode 27: The secret sauce for shaking off fear and living with grace, confidence, and a steadfast heart
Here’s how to connect with Jill * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
We continue our every-other-week Enneagram series of digging deep into the Enneagram as Grace In Real Life talks with Enneagram Two Natalie Gingrich.
The Enneagram allows you to peel back all the behaviors, patterns, and coping mechanisms that conceal the real you. Knowing your Enneagram type allows you to recognize why you do what you do. Then you can exchange hurtful mindsets and behaviors for God-centered truth and courage. Change starts with knowledge, which invites you to bring your wounds, hurts, and fears to the feet of Christ and ask for His help.
You can only offer grace to what and who you know. So let’s know ourselves! To learn more about Enneagram Twos, go here.
In this interview, Natalie and I break down:
- What it’s like to be an Enneagram Two
- The difference between persona and our divine design
- What it’s like to lead and help
- The shift legacy can bring to your life: what it does and doesn’t do
- How to stop saying, “Yes! Me! I’ll do it!”
- A completely new perspective on Mary and Martha
- And how to be a good friend to the Two in your life
Key Quotes * “Twos go wide and deep in relationships.” - Natalie Gingrich * “When I am most healthy, I’m following a schedule that allows me to fill myself.” - Natalie Gingrich * “Unabashedly own your purpose.” - Natalie Gingrich
Mentioned in the Podcast ###### The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!
- The Road Back to You by Ian Cron and Suzanne Stabile
- The Ops Authority Podcast Episode #59: How to have a difficult conversation
- The Ops Authority Director of Operations Certification
- Jill's Your QuickStart Guide to the Enneagram
- Cottonwood Creek Church's Revision Conference
Previous Episode Mentioned Episode #31: Real-life grace for the Enneagram One with Esther Littlefield
Here’s how to connect with Natalie * Website * Podcast * Facebook * Instagram
Here’s how to connect with Jill * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Today, we’re talking about what it means to embrace the grace of living where you are, with your people, doing what God has invited you to do right at this moment by chatting with author, wife, and mom Kennan Buckner.
You’ll love Kennan if you’re a planner, have lots of dreams and ideas, are a former work-outside-the-home-mom who now stays-at-home, if you Love sugar, and just want everyone to do what you told them to do.
In this episode, we talk about All The Things try-hard girls want to know about:
- How to relinquish control
- Ways to tackle FOMO
- Why it’s important to be present
- And making unicorn choices.
You’ll be lavished with grace by the end of this interview.
Key Quotes * “We can trust that whatever God has us doing today is important because it’s from Him.” - Kennan Buckner * “What you are doing now, who you are with, and where you are, are important.” - Kennan Buckner * “Look for those kingdom moments no matter how small.” - Kennan Buckner * “If we think that we are anything less than amazingly, audaciously loved by Jesus Christ, than our actions are going to show that.” - Kennan Buckner * “Be loved. Be right where you are and be loved.” - Kennan Buckner * “God never stops relating to us on the basis of grace.” - Kennan Buckner * “Let’s starve the graceless meanie in our heads.” - Kennan Buckner * “You are uniquely gifted by your wonderful creator.” - Kennan Buckner * “God has the power and desire to help you.” - Kennan Buckner * “Because God is with us, we don’t have time for distraction.” - Kennan Buckner
About Kennan Buckner Kennan Buckner is wife to Marcus and a mom to three rambunctious cuties – all ages 5 and under. She and her husband, Marcus, run Marken Media Co. in downtown Devine, Texas where they encourage creativity, collaboration, and celebration. When the day is done, she can be found enjoying a bowl of ice cream and watching BBC dramas all. by her. Self. Kennan is the author of Chin Up: How Putting Down Our Phones Can Open Our Eyes and Ready Our Feet to Walk In God’s Purpose.
Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!
- Cottonwood Creek Church’s Women’s Revision Conference
- Marken Media Co.
- Chin Up: How Putting Down Our Phones Can Open Our Eyes and Ready Our Feet to Walk In God’s Purpose
Here’s how to connect with Kennan * Website * Facebook group
Here’s how to connect with Jill * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
We’re launching a series of interviews with women of each Enneagram type. But you may be wondering, “What does the Enneagram have to do with grace?”
The Enneagram allows you to peel back all the behaviors, patterns, and coping mechanisms that conceal the real you. Knowing your Enneagram type allows you to recognize why you do what you do. Then you can exchange hurtful mindsets and behaviors for God-centered truth and courage. Change starts with knowledge, which invites you to bring your wounds, hurts, and fears to the feet of Christ and ask for His help.
You can only offer grace to what and who you know. So let’s know ourselves! To learn more about Enneagram Ones, go here.
In this interview, Esther and I break down:
- What it’s like to be an Enneagram One
- How to manage the tension between working with excellence and being obsessive-compulsive in the pursuit of perfection
- What it’s like to lead as a One
- The fallacy of being an “extra-special Christian”
- Why having fun and doing nothing is actually a spiritual practice of grace
- How to move away from legalism
- And ways to extend grace to the Ones in your life.
Key Quotes * “There are times you just have to be done.” - Esther Littlefield * “I’ve tried to differentiate between the effort I’ve put in and separating that from the results that come after the effort.” - Esther Littlefield * “Give your effort to God and give God the results.” - Esther Littlefield * “What’s amazing about grace and the gospel is that there isn’t anything I have to do. And at the same time, it feels too good to be true.” - Esther Littlefield * “When you get to know God and get to know His Word, it’s easier to shift away from legalism.” - Esther Littlefield * “When you think about yourself, make sure you’re speaking truth, resting in the love God has for you.” - Esther Littlefield
About Esther Littlefield Esther is a writer and host of the Christian Woman Leadership Podcast as well as the Christian Woman Business Podcast. She is passionate about helping women embrace their gifts and lead with confidence. She also loves helping Christian business owners shine online and amplify their message.
Esther is a pastor’s wife and mom of one. She enjoys leading women’s Bible studies, missions trips, marriage retreats, and her business team.
Esther resides in Maine with her husband Scott, daughter KJ and their two cats and two leopard geckos. In her free time, you may find Esther enjoying a cup of coffee, exploring the great outdoors, or convincing her husband or a friend to take a road trip to see her favorite band, Switchfoot.
Mentioned in the Podcast * The Christian Woman Leadership Podcast: 5 Principles for Sharing Your Personal Conviction as a Leader (without promoting legalism) * Confident Leadership Catalyst * Inner Critic Challenge
Previous Episode Mentioned * Episode 7: What the Enneagram is, what it isn’t, and why it’s important to your spiritual growth
Here’s how to connect with Esther * Website * Facebook page * Facebook group * Leadership podcast * Business podcast
Here’s how to connect * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page
- Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Today, we’re talking about how to give yourself compassion as you enter the fall.
Over the next 10 minutes, we’ll break down three ways you can be kind, gentle, and gracious with yourself this back-to-school season (or really any new season!).
Be kind to you. You’re a good woman going through a hard season in unpredictable times, and you’re doing it! You can be kind to you by:
- recognizing what you feel at this very moment then asking your friend Jesus how He would encourage you right now.
- acknowledging the reality of your situation, then asking yourself this one question: “What is the kindest and gentlest next step I can take right now?”
- And telling your inner critic to “Simmer down crockpot.” (And if you wonder how to do that step-by-step, I have a free email series linked below that will walk you right through it.)
Remember you’re a human.
Humans are awesome and amazing. We are also limited, flawed, and have finite capacity. Doing All The Things isn’t for us to do.
Grace knows you are making the best decisions you can with incomplete and contradictory information.
Grace knows you are coming up with creative and partial solutions because ideal solutions don’t live around here.
Grace sees your hurting heart and longs to comfort you.
God knows you are human. He created you. He’s not surprised that you struggle, worry, fear, and don’t have it all together.
God will supply your every need. God has abundant riches. He lavishes His love and His grace upon you. There is no need you have that He cannot meet.
If you’re homeschooling, the Lord will equip you.
If you’re back to alarms and carpool, the Lord will equip you.
If you’re wondering how to balance working from home with a new routine, He will equip you.
Tell Him what you need. Don’t be shy. Ask specifically for what you want.
Key Quotes * You have God’s favor, most beloved daughter. * God lives within and laughs over you. * You are wildly, unconditionally, and forever loved by God.
Mentioned in the Podcast ###### Inner Critic Challenge
Here’s how to connect * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Today we’re talking about how to acknowledge your feelings but not stay stuck in them.
Over the next 20 minutes, we’ll break down:
- how to honor our emotions without being overwhelmed by them
- So we can act in love
I feel a tension between, and maybe you feel it too, the desire to feel what I need to feel while knowing I can’t stay immobilized because I need to act. I know I can’t stay stuck in my frustration, irritability, and fog forever.
Y’all, I don’t want to stay stuck in my emotions for very long at all. I don’t want to miss out on what God is doing. I don’t want to be so self-absorbed in my own life that I miss out on what’s going on in the hearts of our girls. I don’t want to lose out on what this season has to offer because I felt like I was swimming in emotion.
I just want my feelings acknowledged. I don’t want to skip ahead without honoring what was lost. I don’t want to wallow in the heaviness but I do want time and space to feel it.
Because acknowledging what’s going on in our hearts and heads, honoring what was important to us, and feeling our God-given emotions, is part of what it means to be a human.
As my writer-friend Sarah Westfall says, “Emotions are the language of my soul, “which means that to ignore, stuff, or push down what I’m feeling strips away the voice of my soul. And I never want to do that.
So how can we try-hard girls, feel what we need to feel and also be women of action? How do we bridge the gap between:
Emotions and Effort?
Feelings and Forward progress?
Woe-is-Me and the Wisdom to see clearly?
The key to not letting our emotions steer the ship, according to Timothy Keller, is to sow our tears. Not to ignore them. Wallow in them. Or cater to them. But to sow them.
Keller shares three strategies and I’ve tacked on a fourth:
- Celebrate that God welcomes all your feelings.
- Remember the cross.
- Focus on future glory.
- Act with the agency you have.
To sow our tears, we celebrate God’s character.
He is the creator of all emotions and is surprised by none. God is holy and must be treated with respect, AND also we can come to Him and vent about what’s ticking us off, causing overwhelm, and bringing tears to our eyes.
To sow our tears, we must remember the cross.
Jesus suffered for us. He was physically crushed and wounded to the point of irrecognizability. And He did it not for Himself but for us. For the joy set before Him that through His sacrifice we could all be reconciled to God.
Remembering the cross doesn’t mean that my suffering is unimportant or not real. And it doesn’t mean I power through like Eeyore, like, “Well, if Jesus can endure the cross, I guess I can power through this.”
Remembering the cross gives us perspective on our own emotions and trials.
To sow our tears, we focus on future glory.
Suffering isn’t needless. It doesn’t last one minute longer than necessary. It has purpose. It produces within us patient endurance. And patient endurance will refine our character, and proven character leads us back to hope.
And hope doesn’t disappoint. Hope is our unfailing soul-anchor.
Now that we’ve sown our tears, we need to allow them to grow. We need to remove ourselves from them. So we act with the agency we have.
So much of life feels dictated to us right now that we wonder what we do have control over. It’s easy to sink into the pit of despair, right? So sometimes we must remind ourselves of the agency we have.
We have the agency to be kind to our kids.
We have the agency to pick up the phone and check on a neighbor.
We have the agency to speak life and encouragement to the cashier.
You do not have to ignore your emotions to make forward progress, and you don’t have to give in to every feeling.
You can allow your emotions -- that language of your soul -- to speak to you then you use that language to speak to God, who will move you to actively love others.
Key Quotes * You can allow your emotions -- that language of your soul -- to speak to you then you use that language to speak to God, who will move you to actively love others. * Acknowledging what’s going on in your heart and head is part of what it means to be a human. * Remembering the cross gives us perspective on our own emotions and trials.
Mentioned in the Podcast Sarah Westfall
Timothy Keller “Praying Our Tears” sermon
Here’s how to connect * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Our kids need prayer at the start of every school year. But this year, the need to pray feels a bit more urgent. We love our kids and know how worried, excited, nervous, and ready they are. So what we can do is pray. And while we’re praying for our children today, please remember to lift up teachers, administrators, and school leaders.
In this episode, we pray for freedom for our children in three areas:
- Freedom from fear
- Freedom to be who You created our children to be
- And freedom to grow in their faith
Dear God, we ask that you grant our children freedom from fear. God, it seems like there is so much for our kids to fear these days. Deliver our children from any anxiety, when everything seems to be telling us to freak out. You gave us a sound mind so we cling to that truth.
If or when fear rises up, we ask that Your presence envelopes our child in a tangible, unmistakable, personal way. May they know that You are always with them and Your perfect love casts out fear.
Will you bless our kids with confidence this year? That they would be leaders of quiet calm as everything swirls around them. And that they would be an example of trust and faith. May they be so sure of Your power and plans for them, that they have absolutely zero reasons to fear.
Next God, we ask for freedom for our kids to be who You created them to be. God, You lovingly designed and knit together each child. You equipped them with just the right personality, the right interests, the right temperament, and just the right gifts to do what You created them to do.
We pray that they shine as girls and boys who are fearfully and wonderfully made. We ask that you bless their gifts and talents and personality. We want their talents to bloom in Your light. May our children grow in stature and favor in your sight and the sight of others.
We ask that this year, our kids discover the gifts and talents You lavished upon them so they can serve and love others and glorify You in ways that fill them up and make them come alive. Surround them with people, friends, and teachers who can see their talents and point them out. Help us as we parent to be quick to see what their gifts are and to nurture them. You’ll grow and develop our kids in Your perfect timing. Do not let us rush them.
Finally God, we ask that they grow in their faith. God, you desire that each and every person You created develops a vibrant and personal relationship with you. So if our child doesn’t know You as their Lord and Savior, we pray for his salvation now.
For those who do know You as their Redeemer and Friend, will you grow that relationship this year? Will you give them opportunities to deepen their trust in You?
Will you make our children fruitful because they long to know you? Put in them a desire to spend time each day praying and reading Your word. This may sound far-fetched or too big or too ridiculous in a culture like ours.
But big jobs are light work for you.
You are a good Father who loves to give good gifts to your children and to give us far beyond what we could ever ask or imagine.
We boldly approach your throne of grace and ask for blessings for our girls and boys. Bless them. Keep them. May Your face shine upon them.
All day. Every day. When they sit and when they rise. When they come and when they go. When they study and when they learn, lavish them with peace, hope, joy, patience, kindness, and strength.
You promise us your presence and we take you up on that. Give us the grace to begin.
Amen.
Key Quotes * Big jobs are light work for God. * Surround them with people, friends, and teachers who can see their talents and point them out. * When our kids study, lavish them with peace, hope, joy, patience, kindness, and strength.
Previous Episode Mentioned * Episode #24: A prayer for the mom deciding what to do for school next year
Here’s how to connect * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page
- Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
You and I wrestle with what’s going on, how to process it, what to do next, how to get on board with what God is doing in the world, and how to make wise decisions for our people.
We’re asking a lot of questions, and I know you are too:
- When will things go back to normal?
- Why is everything so hard?
- Should I be doing this? (And this could mean taking the girls with me to the grocery store or agreeing to a playdate or allowing our older daughter to go to youth group.)
But all the questions I ask boil down to this:
Am I safe?
What we thought we could count on, we cannot. Life feels precarious, scary, uncertain, foggy, and unclear. The protocols for today aren’t the accepted practices of tomorrow. What science proves today is corrected in a week. Our safety -- the physical, mental, and emotional kind -- feels pretty close to falling apart.
So what are we to do, try-hard girl? What is the secret sauce for shaking off this fear and living during this season with grace, confidence, and a steadfast heart?
Today, we’re talking about how to live in this season with grace, confidence, and a steadfast heart.
You feel shaky, and your world feels shaken because God is shaking us up. Yes, God is shaking up:
- Our security
- Our health
- And the routines we’ve known for years.
God is on the move, and when God moves, we notice it.
So yes, your world is shaking, but not everything is shakable. Some things cannot be moved. What are they? You and the kingdom of God.
You cannot be shaken. David tells us in Psalm 16 that those who keep their eyes on Jesus and keep close to Him cannot be shaken. If Jesus is your rock and salvation, you cannot be moved.
Being unshakable means that yes, we will experience trials. Yes, we will suffer. Yes, hardship will knock on our front door, but our salvation and God’s presence can never be taken from us.
Fear wants to tell you that God isn’t listening, that you should panic, that God isn’t as sovereign as you were led to believe.
But fear only benefits the enemy. It’s to his advantage that you falter, waver, and grow in despair. You tell your enemy to back off, to get out, that you are unshakeable.
You cannot be shaken, and the kingdom of God cannot be shaken. God’s kingdom is unshakeable, and His kingdom is your kingdom.
Yes, your life and routine may feel like they’ve been turned upside down, but the kingdom where you live is unmoveable. Unshakable. Unstoppable.
What exactly is the kingdom of God?
Is it a place? Like is it heaven? Or is it my salvation? Is it invisible? What is it?
Yes. It is all those things. And it is also the indwelling of God within you. The kingdom of God is inside of you! It is the dominion God has over everything in the galaxy. It is also the authority we have to do work on His behalf: the power to be the light and share the gospel. And it’s also our inheritance; how we will ultimately rule and reign with God.
But what does it mean in your real life to live in the kingdom of God?
We see our outer reality and doubt the inner truth that God will protect us, care for us, provide for us. If we get sick, run out of Clorox wipes, and are The Worst at homeschooling, is He still with us?
He is. He will not leave you or forsake you no matter what your external circumstances tell you. God’s faithfulness and steadfast character do not depend on our belief. His truth is the truth, and it stands true, independent of our ascent to these facts.
So when you feel caught between the tension of the two realities in which you reside, remember this:
Your citizenship is not here on earth. Your citizenship is in heaven. Your rights as a citizen cannot be revoked. Your claim to peace, hope, and love cannot be nullified.
The leader of your country is the eternal King of kings. Your inheritance and rewards are held in the unchanging, mighty hand of God who lavishes His love on you.
So what is the secret sauce for living with a steadfast heart when you continuously wonder, Am I safe? You remember you live in the kingdom of God which cannot be shaken. And you remember the kingdom of God lives within you.
When you struggle with fear that overtakes your faith, ask God to help you to overcome your unbelief.
When you continue to struggle with fear even as you pray through it on your own, ask friends to surround you with prayer. Text women in your small group. Get on a Zoom call with your college roommates. Ask your husband to pray for you throughout the day.
Try-hard girl, don’t stay stuck. Get help!
And finally, for that steadfast heart -- if you really want it --wrestle it out with God. I’ve been doing it, and it’s exhausting, but it’s so good. Ask the hard questions. Keep asking until you hear from Him. Keep knocking on the door. Keep saying, “I don’t get it. Explain it another way. I want to understand.”
Do not give up.
Friend, you have a kingdom that cannot be shaken. It’s your home. It’s where you live. It’s your address.
Key Quotes * Your life and routine may feel like they’ve been turned upside down, but the kingdom where you live is unmoveable. * God is on the move, and when God moves, we notice it. * Friend, you have a kingdom that cannot be shaken. It’s your home. It’s where you live. It’s your address. * You live in the kingdom of God which cannot be shaken. And the kingdom of God lives within you.
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- Beth Moore’s The Quest
- Matt Chandler’s YouTube video about the Kingdom of God
Here’s how to connect * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
In this episode, we continue to give language to what’s been floating around in our brains. We are sitting together as a community of try-hard girls to process all that’s going on.
So for the next 20 minutes, grab a cup of coffee and join me in talking about:
- What we’ve learned about ourselves during this season
- How God is here even in the midst of all our crazy,
- And practical ways to break out of the “blah” we’re in.
We’ve been doing this pandemic thing since March so it’s time to ask: What is going on beneath the surface? On the surface, we look basically okay.
- We’ve found a sorta-kinda-weird rhythm.
- We have a stash of masks in the car.
- We’re hand-sanitizing ninjas.
- We’ve gotten really creative at how to have fun and not lose our minds during quarantine,
But we feel the rumbling underneath. All is not right with our souls. We feel a weariness. We wear a heaviness. We heave a sack of worries around with us wherever we go.
So let’s take a minute to unpack what’s going on.
This week, we’ll talk about these final five truths:
Truth #6: Your brain feels sluggish + jumbled, and it’s working overtime.
Truth #7 - You realize some pre-pandemic activities didn’t serve you well.
Truth #8 - You’ve lost something.
Truth #9 - You’ve gained something.
Truth #10 - You’re handling the pandemic differently than those around you.
Key Quotes * God designed us to have limited -- not limitless-- capacity. * His hope for us is to bring those hurts, so He can tend to our wounds. He is the great physician, not only of our bodies but our hearts as well. * You are a part, one thread, one storyline, in God’s message to the world.
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$20 off coupon for Every Plate
Previous Episodes Mentioned * Bonus Episode #6: How each Enneagram type is struggling, thriving and can grow in grace during the pandemic * Bonus Episode #9: Can we talk about our emotions for a minute? * Episode #20: Decision-Making in Hard Seasons: When you want certainty and your brain feels full
Here’s how to connect * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
We’re going to take a minute to process what we’re feeling and how God meets us right where we are. In this episode, we give language to what’s floating around in our brains.
So for the next twenty minutes, we will imagine we are sitting at my kitchen table together, talking through:
- What we’ve learned about ourselves during this season
- How God is here even in the midst of all this crazy-town,
- And practical ways to break out of the “blah” we’re in.
What is going on beneath the surface?
I’ve found in my own life that when I name what’s going on, I get clarity, freedom, and a path to move forward.
Let’s process this time through the lens of grace.
Let’s talk about what’s rumbling around in our hearts so we can see God at work.
I’ve landed on ten truths about us try-hard girls after reading and thinking through all you’ve shared with me on Facebook, talking to my friends over the phone, and asking Jesus about what’s going on in our hearts.
Truth # 1- You are carrying the weight of so many worries. The pandemic gave us a coat of worry to wear all day, every day. We are a people who carry responsibility in our hearts, in our shoulders, and in our thoughts.
And our weaknesses fit perfectly with God’s strength. He tells us in 1 Peter 5:7 to cast our cares on Him, so what does this look like in real life?
We will always have worries. Always. So the question we need to ask is not, “How can I live a worry-free life?” The question is: “Who will carry the weight of the worries: me or Jesus?”
So what do you do to break out of the “blah” of worries? How can you practically work through this with grace? 1. Don’t beat yourself up for having worries. 2. Keep taking your worries back to Christ. As many times as necessary. 3. Talk to someone -- your spouse, a counselor, a friend. If the weight is too much, get help!
Truth #2- You are ready for something to look forward to. It feels like you’re living Groundhog Day, doesn’t it?!?
The pandemic has outfitted us with the uniform of the same day that we live over and over and over.
We are a people made for joy. And our desire for something to look forward to fits perfectly with God’s design for us.
God created us for joy.
So what do you do to break out of the “blah” of not having something to look forward to? How can you practically work through this with grace? 1. Ask God to allow you to see the joy He’s made available to you today. 2. Give thanks, which gives you the eyes to see the good gifts God has given you. A full pantry. Healthy kids. School options. A job. People who love you. Church. Small group. Beautiful flowers out your back door. A sunrise. 3. Make a bucket list of fun things you’d like to do -- and are able to do -- as a family. I know, setting up the slip-n-slide isn’t as much fun as the trip to DisneyWorld, but it breaks up the day and gives you and your kids something to look forward to!
Truth #3- You really want to see people, but you feel anxious about it. Your heart is ready to see people, hug people, stand within 6-feet of people, high-five people, and belt out a song at church with other people.
But then, you’re like, “I’m not ready for that. It’s too soon.”
The pandemic has shown you how much you love seeing people in person, but it’s brought out a fear of getting too close.
We are a people who are made for community. And our desire for people fits perfectly with how God wired us.
So what do you do to break out of the “blah” of not seeing people? How can you practically work through this with grace? You show up in imperfect ways to be with your people.
You show up on Zoom even when you hate staring at yourself and worrying about your lighting + background.
You participate in the drive-by birthday party.
You gather outside in the heat in someone’s back yard and stand 6-feet apart.
You pick up the phone and call your best friend.
You build your own Quaranteam.
But you always, always, always show up.
Truth #4- You are frustrated by the length of the pandemic and/or the whole “stop-start” vibe. The pandemic has brought out our need to know what’s going on and to have all the information.
We are a people who do not do well with gaps in information. Instead, we seek end dates, clarity, and truth. And our desire for understanding fits perfectly with God’s character.
So what do you do to break out of the “blah” of frustration? How can you practically work through this with grace? 1. Practice the art of holding your plans loosely. 2. Ask God for the endurance you need to absorb another set-back, closure, or change. When you want to throw in the towel and raise the white flag, ask Jesus for the grace you need in the moment.
Truth #5- You are numbing out through stress eating. As our anxiety increases -- and believe me, it is increasing! -- we are stress eating. In the full spirit of disclosure, I wrote this podcast episode with a Ghiradelli chocolate bar within arms’ length.
The pandemic reveals how much you crave comfort and normalcy.
We are a people who need and seek support. And our inclination for relief and peace fits perfectly with God’s nature as the God of all comfort.
So what do you do to break out of the “blah” of numbing out? How can you practically work through this with grace? 1. Don’t beat yourself up for wanting to numb out. You want to numb out because you’re in pain so be kind and gentle. 2. Observe yourself. When do you numb out? Is it a time of day? Is it when your kids are fighting? Is it when you need to make a decision? 3. Pause before you reach for the bag of Skittles, your phone, or the remote. 4. Ask Jesus to help you find more pleasure and comfort in Him than anywhere else. Ask Him to help you desire to seek His kingdom first. Ask Him to show you in your right-now life what it looks like to abide in Him. 5. Also, listen to Episode #22 of the podcast where integrative wellness expert Rebekah Fedrowitz unpacks emotional eating for us.
Friend, at the end of the day, I don’t know all the ways this pandemic is impacting you. I don’t know all your hurts and victories. I don’t know all the hard nights and the celebrations.
But I do know God specifically designed you to need Him in the ways only He can fill. Sure, we try other ways to meet our needs and fix our hurts, but only Jesus can satisfy, heal, restore, and guide.
Do not let this hard season go by without leaning into Him. You don’t have to do this pandemic-thing perfectly. You just keep looking at Him. A successful quarantine, a successful life, a successful day, looks like obeying God alone.
Key Quotes * God specifically designed you to need Him in the ways only He can fill. * A successful quarantine, a successful life, a successful day, looks like obeying God alone. * The question we need to ask is not, “How can I live a worry-free life?” The question is: “Who will carry the weight of the worries: me or Jesus?” * Ask God for the endurance you need to absorb another set-back, closure, or change. * You want to numb out because you’re in pain so be kind and gentle with yourself by turning to Jesus. * When your heart starts pounding, start pounding on God’s door.
Previous Episodes Mentioned * Bonus Episode #5: Grace-giving ways to practice self-care during a pandemic in your real, busy, overwhelming life * Bonus Episode #7: Practical and grace-filled ways to work from home and homeschool * Bonus Episode #10: Decision-Making in Hard Seasons: Remember the Truth * Bonus Episode #11: Decision-Making in Hard Seasons: You have an all-access pass * Episode #20: Decision-Making in Hard Seasons: When you want certainty and your brain feels full * Episode #21: Decision-Making in Hard Seasons: Did I really hear from God or is that just me? * Episode #22: Are you emotionally eating too? * Episode #24: A prayer for the mom deciding what to do about school next year
Here’s how to connect * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Some of you have already made decisions about what to do for school next year. Some of you are currently making a choice. And some of you have second-guessed, triple-guessed, and quadruple-guessed the decision you submitted.
Wherever you are in the school-decision process, this prayer is for you.
Friend, if you’ve said to yourself:
“I feel pulled in two directions right now.”
OR “A lot can change in six weeks, so I don’t know what to do. ”
OR “Anxiety is my middle name these days.”
Listen in.
Dear God, We are worrying. We wish for more control. We want more information. We scour the internet for news. We ask our friends what they are doing. We make lists outlining the benefits and drawbacks.
But God, we need more than a pro/con list. We need your presence and your counsel.
So we stand on 2 Chronicles 20:12: “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”
God, even if we make the “wrong” choice, you are holding our hands. Yes, we may stumble through all of this, but we will not fall. You never guaranteed a smooth, easy road. You promised your presence. And we rest that where you say you’ll be, you’ll be. So be with us. Hold us together.
God, we ask for 5 gifts from you today. God, we ask for wisdom. We are inundated by information and contradictory opinions so we’re left unsure. We are also overwhelmed by emotions: fear, impatience, irritation, and worry. Do not let our emotions drive us into making a rash decision.
Give us your wisdom. Then once we have it, help us to apply it to our specific situation for the betterment of our kids.
God, we ask for acceptance. Will you give us the gift of acceptance of the fact that our choice may not be the same choice as others, and that’s okay? Help us to be kind, gentle, and understanding to every decision and person. People are wired differently. That what works for our friends may not work for us.
Give us a heart that accepts the choices of others, even if we don’t understand them. Help us to respond in kindness when others don’t approve of our choices.
God, we ask for contentment. We want to be content whether we are homeschooling or in-person schooling. We want to be content whether we have all the answers or just enough for the next right step. We want to be content whether we feel tapped out or whether we feel energized.
God, we ask for power. So God if we’ve ever said,
“I’m not a good teacher”
Or “I could never homeschool”
Or “I will worry all day about the germs they’re exposed to at school.”
Or “Is this the right choice? Am I making it worse?”
Will you show us what is true? Will you remind us that you did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind? You give us what we need, to do the job you’ve asked us to do.
Finally, God, we ask for focus. Keep our eyes on the race you marked before us. The race that includes:
- Caring for our people
- Making the best decisions for each, individual child
- And taking one step closer to you
It will take your divine help for us to not grow weary during this race Jesus. Give us what we need for today to stay focused on what kind of moms we want to be, and to make decisions from a healthy place.
Grant us your favor. Pour out your blessing on us mamas. Lavish us with everything we need to live the life you’ve called us to live.
Amen.
Key Quotes * God, we need more than a pro/con list. We need your presence and your counsel. * It will take your divine help for us to not grow weary during this race Jesus. * Give us what we need for today to stay focused on what kind of moms we want to be and to make decisions from a healthy place.
Previous Episodes Mentioned * Bonus Episode #10: Decision-Making in Hard Seasons: Remember the Truth * Bonus Episode #11: Decision: Making in Hard Seasons: You have an all-access pass * Episode #20: Making decisions in hard seasons: When you want certainty and your brain feels full * Episode #21: Decision-Making in Hard Seasons: Did I really hear from God or is that just me?
Here’s how to connect * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email * Inner Critic Challenge
Can we be raw and real for a second? Sometimes caring for our people, managing our home,
and working at the job that pays us money, feels like more than enough.
Then we add on a never-ending pandemic, racial unrest, social injustice, Saharan dust clouds, murder hornets, and who-knows-what-else, and we want to scream, “Put a fork in me. I’m done!”
We want to handle the hourly changes the pandemic causes with grace. We want to do our part to bring peace and reconciliation where there has been hurt and heartache for centuries. We want to love our neighbors and pray for our friends.
We want to do lots of amazing, impactful, loving things,but sometimes daily life is enough.
Then the guilt sets in telling us we should be doing more.
So we’re going to release ourselves from guilt in 20 short minutes. We’ll talk about: * Where you’re struggling * Why you feel guilt * Your main job in all this * God’s main job in all this * And the difference between guilt and conviction
You’re a try-hard girl so you genuinely want to help in every possible way. We feel this pressure to serve all the time. That if we don’t we’re selfish or lazy. That if we really loved Jesus and people we would serve until we keeled over. That Jesus has a scorecard that tabulates how much we’re doing for Him and others, and somehow we’re falling short
because our brain feels full, our mind seems fuzzy, and our bodies are tired.
So what are we try-hard girls to do? Should we power through? Should we curl in a ball and do nothing? What is our role in all this?
I wrote a blog post about this called “What to do when you’re overwhelmed by the suffering you see” that I’ll link to the Show Notes because it may be a big help.
And for our time together today, let’s move away from the guilt-perspective that tells you you’re not doing enough and move into the truth of who you are:
- You are God’s girl. Friend, He sees you in all this. He knows your heart and sees your struggle. You are His daughter, who is precious and beloved in His sight.
- You are a woman whose main job is to be someone who is with Jesus. Spend time with Him. Pray. Read His words as a reminder of how much you are loved and cared for.
- You are a woman who locks eyes with Jesus. Just like Peter did when he walked on water. You look your friend Jesus in the face and you do not turn to the left or to the right.
- You are a woman who allows Jesus to tend to her heart. Friend, your God has a Father’s heart. When He sees you hurting, He doesn’t expect or intend for you to tearfully limp along still carrying the weight of doing All The Things.
What is God’s role? 1. God’s job is to hold all things together. God has ultimate authority. Ultimate love. Ultimate power. Ultimate control. And the ultimate plan. Yes, you’re holding a lot of things together, but He’s the one holding you together. 2. God provides for today. And God provides for you for today in the uncertainty. The only time to experience God and to live in His grace is this very moment. God gives you what you need today. God sustains you today. God fills in the gaps today. 3. God’s role is to be the God of more than enough. So what do you need? You need leadership. So He became the Good Shepherd. You need hope. So He became the anchor of your soul. You need a next right step. So He became the lamp that lights your path.
One role God never fills is making you feel guilty. We are still left with the question, “What do I do? I should do something to help. I should make an effort.” May I share two hard-earned, learned-these-through-experience lessons about guilt?
(1) "Should” is the vocabulary of our enemy. Anytime you use the word “should,” run from the action you’re “should-ing” yourself to do.
Instead, ask God what He has for you in the moment. Often, it’s something that was planted in you long ago and needs to come out of you now.
Pursue Jesus.
Seek His kingdom. He will make it clear who He wants you to love and how He’d like you to do it.
(2) A second truth about guilt from my own life is this: Feel no shame that your current season doesn’t allow for you to do All The Things because no season ever does. And at the same time, do your God-assignment right where you are.
God knows your season and He is actively at work in it. And He also prepared good works in advance for you to do in each season.
If you take nothing else away from this episode remember this: God will never make you feel guilty for not changing the world because that was never your job to begin with. Instead, your good is to do the good works He planned for you before the beginning of time. Some of the work may feel small and inconsequential. Some may involve a stage and an audience.
All the work given to you by God and done in love counts.
Key Quotes * God knows what is on your plate and has a plan to help you through it. * Pursue Jesus. * Feel no shame that your current season doesn’t allow for you to do All The Things because no season ever does. * God prepared good works in advance for you to do in each season of life. * God will never make you feel guilty for not changing the world because that was never your job to begin with. * All the work given to you by God and done in love counts.
Mentioned in the Podcast ###### The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!
- What to do when you’re overwhelmed by the suffering you see
- Holly Gerth’s You’re Going to Be Okay
- Christian African-American women I’m following on Instagram:
-
- Osheta Moore
- Dr. Lucretia Berry
- Danielle Coke
- Priscilla Shirer
- Latasha Morrison
- Inner Critic Challenge
Previous Episode Mentioned * Episode #21: Decision-Making in Hard Seasons: Did I really hear from God or is that just me?
Here’s how to connect * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
Are you emotionally eating too? Yeah, I get it. I’m eating All The Skittles right now. So what is emotional eating? Why do we do it? What does our emotional eating point us toward? How do we stop?
In this episode, the Grace In Real Life podcast welcomes integrative wellness speaker, author, and educator Rebekah Fedrowitz, MDN, BCHN. Rebekah helps women identify, combat, and recover from adrenal overload, the stress-driven health syndrome that can lead to digestive, hormonal, and mental health challenges. Her desire is to see women living in the abundant life and purpose God created for them.
Emotional eating defined “All eating is emotional. All eating should be emotional.” - Rebekah Fedrowitz
However, we don’t want to be driven by emotions but want to be able to see our emotional connection to food.
Emotional eating is when there is something emotional going on in our environment driving us to eat in unhealthy ways, not just unhealthy foods, but eating in an unbalanced way for your body or when there is something about food driving us to want more of it to soothe us when we feel overwhelmed.
What’s going on psychologically that drives us to unhealthy eating Stress isn’t the same for everyone, but all stress produces a biochemical response by causing changes in blood-sugar regulation. Your body knows to crave food to help you regulate your blood sugar.
How to tell if we’re eating as a stress response or if there’s a longterm health issue 1. Through education. 2. You can train your body to crave the right foods. 3. Stop. Pause. Just notice what you’re doing. 4. Don’t try to change or control your food intake in this moment. And don’t beat yourself up for emotional eating. 5. Sit. Savor. Ask yourself what this food has that you could get from a different, more healthy source. 6. Vitamins and minerals work synergistically so eat the rainbow.
“Maybe the chocolate isn’t what you need, but making yourself feel bad about it won’t make you crave it less.” - Rebekah Fedrowitz
Why we use food to soothe stress * Culturally: How is food viewed where you live? * Socially: What did food mean to your family growing up? * Psychologically: Do you use food as a reward or punishment? * Biochemically: Your brain is telling your body what it needs so your neurotransmitters can be activated. * Environmentally: How is your space set up? Is it easier to find chips or fresh food?
How we turn into emotional eaters There’s a fine line between being hyper-controlled and hosting a free-for-all. We go through seasons to figure out life. New seasons bring out new habits, not all of which are good.
“This is not about willpower.” - Rebekah Fedrowitz
When you go to extremes, you’re relying on willpower and not getting at the root of what’s going on.
“If we’re going to extreme solutions, we’re going to find extreme swings.” - Rebekah Fedrowitz
How to turn away from emotional eating 1. Don’t beat yourself up. 2. Observe yourself. 3. Notice your triggers. 4. Find out what else can give you the pause you crave. 5. Employ stress-management tactics. 6. Eat balanced meals.
“We are creative powerful women. God has given us really great brains.” - Rebekah Fedrowitz
“Challenge the status quo. Wherever you are is not where you are stuck. Give yourself grace in this moment.” - Rebekah Fedrowitz
Key Quotes * “All eating is emotional. All eating should be emotional.” - Rebekah Fedrowitz * “Maybe the chocolate isn’t what you need, but making yourself feel bad about it won’t make you crave it less.” - Rebekah Fedrowitz * “This is not about willpower.” - Rebekah Fedrowitz * “We are creative powerful women. God has given us really great brains.” - Rebekah Fedrowitz * “Challenge the status quo. Wherever you are is not where you are stuck. Give yourself grace in this moment.” - Rebekah Fedrowitz
Mentioned in the Podcast ###### The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!
- Sister, Walk in Truth book
- Making Space for Your Health freebie
How to Connect with Rebekah * Facebook * Instagram * Restored Membership * Making Space for Your Health freebie * You are Well Health Podcast * + Rebekah’s Health Story + A Balanced Diet + Stress-Food-Mood Cycle + Adrenal Fatigue + Quitting Cravings
Here’s how to connect * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
We conclude this decision-making series by walking through how to discern our voice from God’s voice and our enemy’s voice. Because -- if you’re anything like me -- you pray, believe you hear an answer and then wonder, “Was that God or me?”
So if you’ve ever asked yourself, “Did I hear God right?”
Or “Maybe that was just my will sneaking in as God’s voice.”
Or “How can I know???!?”
This podcast episode is for you.
So in the next 20 minutes, we’re going to break down:
- What God speaks
- How He speaks
- What methods He uses
- How you feel after being spoken to
- What’s going on when you doubt.
So what does God say? God always speaks the truth. He is incapable of lying. And what He says is always consistent with His Word. God-in-your-ear will never contradict God-in-His-Word. His words of truth are based on love, care, and concern for you.
The big takeaway here is: God speaks truth. Your enemy speaks lies.
But it’s not just the content that’s important. How God speaks is just as important as what He says. When God speaks, He speaks to you as a good Father would: with authority, kindness, grace, and hope. He reminds you who you are in Him.
His voice is calm and steady. He never rushes you. He is persistent in His pursuit of you knowing Him.
Your enemy sounds condemning. He’s loud, urgent, and noisy. He loves to make you hurry. He calls you names or at least gives you labels like “bad mom” or “lazy” or “not good enough.”
The big takeaway here is: God’s tone is firm, gentle and kind. The enemy’s tone is hurry, hustle, and hatred.
So what methods does God use to speak to you? A better question may be: What will He NOT use to talk to you?
God will speak to you in a way that He knows you will hear. He speaks to you as the individual you are, in a way you know you can hear and understand.
He is persistent so if you don’t hear Him the first time, He won’t stop trying to get through to you. God wants you to hear Him, and He won’t give up on you because you are His girl.
Your enemy seems to weasel his way into every conversation or thought or plan. Yet, your enemy is not omniscient or omnipresent like your God.
The big takeaway here is: God will use whatever method you need to hear and understand and He won’t stop until you get it. Your enemy is also persistent, but not all that powerful.
When God speaks to you, you feel like you’re being led. You feel loved and known. You feel confident. You feel a desire for holiness and not despair. You feel a sense of wonder and awe.
Sometimes you just know in your knower. Sometimes the peace you feel is so unmistakable there’s no other option, choice, or discussion. It just feels sure and right.
But when our enemy talks to us, we feel discouraged. We lack peace. We feel guilty and sometimes just comfortable.
The big takeaway here is: When God talks to us we feel sure and steadfast. When our enemy talks, we feel hurried and hassled.
So friends, even as we know this, we wonder: But did I really hear God’s voice? As women who love Jesus, we never want to label our own desires, plans, hopes, and dreams as “God’s voice.”
But is it really God’s voice we doubt or is it His character we call into question? Remember God:
- Wants you to pursue Him, not chase suffering
- Is a Father and has a father’s heart
- Can do the impossible, that He finds nothing hard.
But so often, God answers our questions about what to do with a question of His own: What do you want?
Friend, you want to make the right choices and to obey God’s voice without mistaking it for your own. Give yourself grace as you make decisions.
Grace to ask hard questions.
Grace to make the space to listen.
Grace to not hear because the time isn’t right for God to share.
Grace to hear, be nervous, but obey anyway.
Grace to know that your God wants to talk with you, that He doesn’t want you to miss out, and that He’ll keep talking to you until you get it.
Key Quotes * Perhaps the very thing we want is the very thing He planted in us to come out of us to shine His light around us. * Yes, there is suffering in following Christ, but we are not chasing suffering. We are chasing Jesus. * God wants you to hear Him, and He won’t give up on you because you are His girl. * God-in-your-ear will never contradict God-in-His-Word.
10 Books to Help You Discern the Voice of God ###### The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!
- Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Shirer
- Fervent by Priscilla Shirer
- A Life of Being, Having, and Doing Enough by Wayne Muller
- The Principle of the Path by Andy Stanley
- What’s Best Next by Matt Perman
- The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst
- Emotional Agility by Susan David, PhD
- Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaver
- Forever Ruined for Ordinary by Joy Dawson
- All the Places to Go… How will you know? By John Ortberg
Previous Episode Mentioned Episode #4: Do you view God one of these four ways?
Here’s how to connect * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to Jill’s weekly “the good + the grace” email
It feels increasingly hard to make decisions during this season, doesn’t it??!? Two reasons we find it so hard to decide are that we are chasing certainty and suffering from brain fatigue. So if you’re struggling with decisions -- big ones or small -- you’re in the right place because today we break free from what’s tripping us up as we try to make the best God-centered decisions we can.
Let’s start by talking about certainty. We want to make good decisions. We want to be prudent moms who act responsibly. To do and be this, we believe we need all the information.
But sweet friend, we are not a people made for exactitude and perfection.
Let’s talk about brain fatigue. Brain fatigue isn’t an unhealthy habit you’ve picked up and made your own. Brain fatigue is a biological issue almost all of us are dealing with right now. Decision fatigue plagues us. And it may stem from cognitive overload.
If you’re struggling with decisions -- big ones or small -- you’re in the right place because today we break free from what’s tripping us up
One incredibly important truth to remember as you process and make decisions these days is to remember you have all the access you need to talk to God.
As His daughter, you can walk up to His approachable throne of grace and ask any question you want about any decision you have. Sometimes we think that only certain people have access to the owner’s suite or the dugout, but in God’s economy, we all have the exact same access.
But sometimes we forget we have this all-access pass of 24/7/365 availability to our friend Jesus and we try to muddle through decision-making all on our own.
And y’all, we are making a ton of decisions these days:
- Is it okay to send my kids to camp?
- Are playdates safe?
- When will it be okay to go to our subdivision pool?
- If there is school in the fall, should I send my kids?
And trying to figure all the answers out on our own is where we get into trouble. In fact, there are four main trouble spots that I see in myself and perhaps they resonate with you too.
These four areas are:
- People-pleasing/peer-pressure
- Fear
- Uncertainty and the lack of information
- Brain fatigue
These issues are deep-seated so we’ll cover two today: people-pleasing and fear. Let’s dig in, shall we?
One, we get into trouble when we try to make decisions based on people-pleasing or peer-pressure. These days we try to please or are pressured by two groups:
- Our kids
- The people around us, and “around us” can be your online people.
But sweet friends, let’s remember the truth:
- outcomes are not dependent on you. You’re not that powerful.
- it’s not your job to keep people happy.
- and your security is found in Christ alone, not in your popularity.
There’s a simple (yet hard!) solution to combat the trouble of people-pleasing and caving to peer pressure.
Remember that you only have one person you need to please and one person to conform to Jesus Christ.
Two, we get into trouble when we are pushed by fear not led by love. Emily Freeman talks about this quite a bit in her podcast and books because the juxtaposition of our 2 decision-making options is so stark:
We are either pushed by fear or led by love.
The fear for our physical safety makes us question whether going to the grocery store is wise.
Fear of judgment causes us to pause whether to go to that in-person birthday party, have date-night with our spouse, or swim at the subdivision pool.
Fear of making the wrong choice leaves us stuck and overwhelmed. We wonder, Couldn’t someone else just make the decision for us? What if we make the wrong decision and mess everything up??!?!
But sweet friend, fear is not God’s plan for you. It’s not the inheritance He promised you.
There’s a simple (yet hard!) solution to combat the trouble of fear.
Become a thought detective. Take note of what you’re saying to yourself and then ask God if those thoughts are true. This is what the Bible calls “taking your thoughts captive.”
Notice what gets your heart racing or makes you feel panicked or rushed.
Notice if you’re falling into black and white thinking: for instance that one option is right and the other is wrong OR that there is only one possible acceptable decision instead of many good ones.
Notice what thoughts disparage your character and make you believe that you’re a bad mom or a lazy mom or a lame-o mom.
Now replace that fearful thought with a truthful one.
If you take nothing away from this podcast today, I want you to remember that you have an all-access pass to talk to your Father God. He wants you to come to Him. You don’t have to stay stuck in people-pleasing and fear. You can boldly approach His throne of grace.
Key Quotes * As His daughter, you can walk up to His approachable throne of grace and ask any question you want about any decision you have. * You only have one person you need to please and one person to conform to: Jesus Christ. * Fear is not God’s plan for you.
Mentioned in the Podcast ###### The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you!
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Emily P. Freeman’s The Next Right Thing book
Previous Episode Mentioned Bonus Episode #10: Decision-Making in Hard Seasons: Remember the Truth
Here’s how to connect * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe to my weekly emails!
Here is what we know:
On the night of Memorial Day 2020, George Floyd was accused of using a counterfeit $20 bill to pay for items at a convenience store. Police responded, handcuffed Floyd, and pinned him to the ground with a knee to his neck for 8 minutes.
Floyd became unresponsive and was pronounced dead 90 minutes after police were called. The police officers were fired and one of them has been charged with the murder of Mr. Floyd.
In response, people have protested peacefully, rightfully calling attention to the horrific way Floyd died.
But others have set stores on fire, thrown rocks at police, and stolen merchandise.
Because I am a human with a finite mind, a limited grasp of all the facts, family and friends serving in law enforcement as we speak, and an ability to feel 1,000 things at one time,
I must ask:
What does God say about this? What is the gracious response? How does the try-hard girl respond when confronted in real life with oppression, injustice, and civil unrest?
The gospel of grace is not silent on these topics. Grace has so much to say:
Grace says that every problem is a sin problem.
Grace also says there is only one solution to sin and that is Jesus.
Grace says that God’s heart is for life and justice.
But what grace says about how we treat each other is where I want to park today. May our response be that we will keep our brother, protect our brother, watch over and regard our brother.
So how do we do this? We lament that we have not done a good job at keeping our brother.
We listen.
We learn.
We serve.
We love.
We pray.
We stand up.
We show up.
We do not stay silent.
We reflect God's heart.
We consider others ahead of ourselves.
We think of others first.
Grace says that we are God's people and we are our brother's keeper.
But many of us -- me included-- wonder, “But what can I do?” “Where can I start?”
“How do we fix generations of hurt, slavery, segregation, lack of opportunity, a discrepancy in pay? I mean, this feels like too much for a suburban housewife who drives a minivan and carries a mortgage.”
“Who am I to start a conversation about race or injustice or oppression?”
And friend-- this is exactly what our enemy, Satan-- wants us to think.
He wants us to doubt our power, our capacity to set an example, our capacity because we are in Christ.
I believe the most powerful and damaging words the enemy whispers in our head is, “Who am I?”
Who are you? You are a part of the solution.
You are not a lukewarm sympathizer; you are a woman of action.
You are capable of withstanding uncomfortable situations.
You are able to start awkward conversations and stay in them.
You are a member of the body of Christ.
You have a part to play.
You have good works pre-planned for you to do.
You have the heart of a lion and you are more than a conqueror because Jesus said so, this I know.
You are not powerless, voiceless, or influence-less.
Jesus is the solution and He is in you.
Key Quotes * The most damaging words the enemy whispers in your ear are, “Who are you?” * You are a part of the solution. You do not sit on the sidelines. You are a woman of action. * May our response to injustice be that we will keep our brother, protect our brother, and watch over our brother.
Previous Episode Mentioned Bonus Episode #10: Decision-Making in Hard Seasons: Remember the Truth
Here’s how to connect * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page * Subscribe and receive the newsletter with lots of resources.
In today’s episode, we’ll remind ourselves of what is true about God and His try-hard girls -- because let’s be honest -- we have so much information, data, and commentary out there we forget which end is up.
So if you’re struggling with decisions -- big ones or small -- you’re in the right place because today we will remind ourselves of what is true.
As states and cities re-open, we have even more decisions to make:
- Do we reschedule the family vacation?
- And if so, when?
- Will the kids even start school in the fall?
- Should I send our daughters to camp? There won’t be any social distancing… so is that safe? Am I putting our girls at risk by sending them to day camp?
- And what about play dates? Is their mental health or physical health more important? Should I chance planning lunch in the driveway of a friend? Or is that too risky?
You have your own questions:
- How can I save money right now when things feel so tight?
- Do I need to wear a mask because it’s not required? Some medical professionals say it’s pointless while others say it’s critical to flattening the curve so which one is true?
- Am I ready for our family to go back to church or does it feel too soon?
- How much screen time is too much?
We want to be a responsible, prudent, good mom, but we hear conflicting information, receive subtle cues from friends about our choices, and are just plain tired from making eleventy million decisions an hour.
As we have more options available to us, we feel:
- Anxious
- Excited
- Scattered
- Stressed
- Confused
- Guilty
- And as one friend said, “weird.”
There’s a teeny part of us that wishes someone would just tell us what to do or make the decision for us by closing things down so we’d have one less decision to make and one less person to disappoint.
So before our brains continue to spiral, let’s remind ourselves of what is true about God and what is true about ourselves: 1. The truth is that God is your Heavenly Father. 2. The truth is that God is your Good Shepherd. 3. The truth is that God is omnipotent and good. 4. The truth is that God is all about wide open spaces. 5. The fifth and final truth is that God is practical.
We are all little girls at heart, who want to know that there is someone who will protect us, fight for us, stand up for us, want what’s best for us, run to us when we feel scared and alone, look us in the face and tells us we are together -- in all of it, and never give up on us.
We have that someone. You have that someone.
His name is Jesus.
He is so crazy about you and is so thankful that you are His. He is delighted He made you and your mind that thinks, observes, analyzes, plans, strategizes, and wonders.
He looks upon your heart that wants to get it right, that wants to please her big Father God, and who knows there is a good way and wants to take it.
He looks at you and is well pleased.
Key Quotes * You are God’s girl and you don’t have to walk through any of this alone. * You can throw the weight of all you are and every decision you make on the weight of your Father. * We need a God who is both all-powerful and all-good and that is who God is. * You are not alone. Your Shepherd is with you, behind you, beside you, and within you.
Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you! Some of my favorite decision-making books and podcasts:
- The Next Right Thing Podcast by Emily P. Freeman
- What’s Best Next by Matt Perman
- The Best Yes by Lysa Terkeurst
- A Life of Being, Having, and Doing Enough by Wayne Muller
- The Principle of the Path by Andy Stanley
- Emotional Agility by Susan David, PhD
Previous Episode Mentioned * Episode #4: Do you view God one of these five ways? * Bonus Episode #8: Peace, comfort, and hope when you’re weary, worried, and worn out
In this episode, we’ll dig into why All The Emotions are leaking out and what to do next. So if you’re feeling All Your Feelings in the span of one hour, this episode is for you.
We talk through:
- Why we’re feeling what we’re feeling
- Why we sometimes don’t feel our feelings
- And what to do in light of all our feelings -- because we can’t stay here forever, right?
The Change Cycle 1. Shock 2. Denial 3. Frustration + Anger 4. Exploration 5. Acceptance
Why we don’t feel our feelings * We remind ourselves someone has it much worse. * We believe our faith is too weak. * We think our feelings aren’t true. * We believe God isn’t all that into emotions.
Here’s what is true: * The pandemic is hard. * Just because you feel worried or doubt or discouragement doesn’t mean you have weak faith. * Feelings aren’t always wrong. * God is all about emotions.
So what do we do with all our emotions? 1. Give yourself time. 2. Listen to what you’re feeling in the presence of Christ. 3. Ask someone to listen to your feelings without judgment. 4. Find a physical way to release your emotions.
Key Quotes You can live in healing, wholeness, and hope.
You can’t out-run and out-busy your feelings forever.
Just because your emotions cannot be quantified, measured, verified, or substantiated does not what you feel invalid.
Mentioned in the Podcast The Holderness Family podcast
John Krasinski’s Some Good News
Previous Episodes Mentioned Bonus Episode #4: What to tell your kids about COVID-19, how to get your kids to open up, and ways to keep calm
Bonus Episode #5: Grace-giving ways to practice self-care during a pandemic in your real, busy, overwhelming life
Bonus Episode #7: Practical and grace-filled ways to work from home and homeschool
Here’s how to connect * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page
How can we live in grace after day 900 in lockdown or quarantine or shelter-in-place or crisis-homeschooling or whatever we’re calling this now? What does grace in real life look like when you’re struggling, worn out, and worried?
You, my sweet friend, are allowed to be human. You’re allowed to grow, try new things, struggle, feel your feelings, get tired, re-evaluate, and rest.
And the beautiful part is that God understands your humanity and walks alongside you to work on your behalf. God isn’t surprised that you feel overwhelmed, insufficient, and small. His divinity meets your humanity so you are strong and complete in Him alone.
And in case you ever believe that you are to be more than you are: remember God didn’t create productivity machines, worker bees, or doormats.
God created art.
He wrote stories.
He breathed masterpieces.
He made you. And you are a human try-hard girl.
You, sweet friend, are also allowed to be God’s girl. But how can we be children when we are grown-ups? What does it look like to be a child in the presence of God even as we’re adults in real life?
Kids trust their parents and share their needs.
Sweet friend, you are free to be both a flawed human AND a child of God.
You are a fearfully-made woman in the midst of a crazy time who has a Father who presides over an unshakeable kingdom and sits on the approachable throne of grace.
You can release the anxiety, lay down the weariness, and bring all of you to the Father who knows you best and loves you most.
Key Quotes You are free to be both a flawed human AND a child of God.
You are a fearfully-made woman in the midst of a crazy time who has a Father who presides over an unshakeable kingdom and sits on the approachable throne of grace.
Related Episode Episode 5: Three mindsets to live grace in real life
Here’s how to connect * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page
Today we talk about how to give yourself grace as you work from home and school from home.
In this episode, we’ll dive into:
- Grace for when you’re struggling logistically to work and help your kids get situated
- Grace for when you’re struggling with expectations
- Grace for when you’re struggling with the concept of “Good Mom”
- And grace for when you’re struggling with your identity as a multi-faceted woman who loves her kids and her work.
We’re talking about:
- Boundaries
- Priorities
- Mom-guilt
- And how God created you as a multi-passionate try-hard girl
Let’s start by talking about how to live in grace when you struggle with getting your work done and helping your kids complete school work Set boundaries. Set boundaries around when you work and set boundaries around when your kids have access to you.
So what are practical and grace-filled ways, we can set boundaries? 1. Start by accepting that you need boundaries because you have limits. It’s okay to accept the truth of that statement. It doesn’t make you a slacker, it makes you a very wise human. 1. Is it the constant interruptions? That means you need a boundary around time and access. 2. Is it the neediness? That means you need a boundary around what you are able to do and a cue to teach your child how to do certain small tasks on their own. 3. Is it the text message from work at 6 p.m. when you’re trying to put dinner on the table? That means you need a boundary around access and availability. 2. Figure out what is driving you the craziest. 3. Think through the natural rhythms of you and your kids. Then leverage them. So think about:
-
- When do my children need me the most? In the morning? Afternoon?
- When do I do my best work?
- What is my child’s natural rhythm?
Now let’s talk about how to live in grace for when you’re struggling with expectations. So what are practical and grace-filled ways, you can set new expectations? Ask yourself these questions in the presence of Christ:
- What expectations make me feel overwhelmed?
- What can I practically do to let them go?
- What would freedom look like right now?
Let’s move on to how to live in grace for when you’re struggling with the concept of being a “Good Mom” Here’s what God called you to do as a mom:
- Train your children in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6)
- Discipline and correct them (Proverbs 23:13, Proverbs 29:15)
- Comfort them (Isaiah 66:13)
- Tell them about Me (Deuteronomy 4:9, 11:19; Proverbs 1:8)
So what are practical and grace-filled ways you can parent God’s way? Here are five:
- Be the person God created you to be, to use your gifts and talents to love on your kids and to live in and stand on grace. God’s word doesn’t give too many prescriptive instructions on exactly how to parent, which gives you the freedom to be who you are and to raise your kids in an individualized way. Your God is the God of expanse and infinite options of goodness.
- Love your children and parent by faith. So when you feel like you’re lacking, simply cry out, “Jesus. Help!” And He will. Be patient. Be kind. Be gentle. And when you aren’t, ask for forgiveness. That may be the best example you ever set!
- Look at each week in its entirety. You may not have played a lot together on Monday, but maybe you played on Tuesday and Friday. Maybe you yelled on Wednesday, but asked for forgiveness and cuddled on Saturday morning.
- Ask yourself, “Who told me I’m not a good, loving, kind, giving mom?” I can guarantee you it isn’t your friend Jesus. Jesus speaks encouraging words to you.
- Perhaps the most important thing I’ll say today -- the thing I don’t want you to miss is this -- Lean on God’s grace.
Finally, let’s close by talking about how to live in grace when you struggle with your identity as a multi-passionate woman. You feel this internal tension pulling you between people and work. You ask yourself:
Aren’t people the most important thing?
When I love my work am I putting task before people?
When I tell my kids, “No, we can’t play right now,” does that mean I have my priorities wrong?
Am I choosing the lesser thing by completing the TPS report instead of playing catch?
You second-guess every decision.
If you choose work over spending time with your kids, you feel like a bad mom.
If you choose your kids over finishing the project, you feel like a slacker employee.
Moms cannot win for losing.
You and I have an identity problem. But it isn’t our identity we struggle with. It’s God’s character that we have a hard time with.
So what are practical and grace-filled ways you can live in the light of who God is and who you are in Him? 1. Ask God to show you areas where you are leaning on your work to validate your worth. 1. Is there any particular person who makes you feel less-than because you work or because you took the day off to play at the park? 2. Limit who you listen to on social media, podcasts, friends in real life. 1. “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” 3. When you feel the guilt and shame creep in, repeat this verse: Hebrews 4:16:
Monday, May 4 was my birthday and you get the birthday treats! I’m giving away three prizes:
- A customized journal from Paper Sunday
- A book called Psalm Prayers for kids by Sarah Keeling
- A one-month online membership to the Restored Wellness Community with my friend Rebekah Fedrowitz
To enter:
- Listen to the podcast and take a screenshot of the podcast logo.
- Post the screenshot on Instagram.
- Tag me @jillemccormick and use the hashtag #grace in real life podcast
- Do those three steps by May 8 at 9 p.m. Central.
- I will randomly select three winners for the three different prizes and send you a DM on IG.
Key Quotes * God didn’t design you to be perfect and to hold it all together. * Run to God on good days and bad days, not because of your ability to reach a high standard, but because of Christ’s righteousness. * His grace is greater than failing to meet expectations. * You are good enough because you are in Christ
Previous Episodes Mentioned Bonus Episode #3: How to give yourself grace as yu parent during a pandemic
Bonus Episode #5: Grace-giving ways to practice self-care in your real, busy, overwhelming life
Here’s how to connect * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page
In this episode, we’ll dive into:
- How each type is struggling
- Thriving
- And can grow in grace during this crazy season.
Before we get started, please know that I’m not an Enneagram expert, merely a lover of it. What I present to you is based on my own research, feedback from men and women of each type, and peer review.
The Eights: The Challengers There is nothing Eights like less than being told what to do and that’s exactly what’s happening in this pandemic. Your movement of where to go is restricted and your options of what to buy at Target are limited.
To cope, you may feel like you can make up your own rules because you don’t agree with the rules in place or deny the news you don’t like. If the experts say to limit your movement, you’re going to the grocery store once a day!
You also are focused on controlling what you can, like your schedule and routines.
This is also a tremendous time for growth as God slowly and gently teaches you about His sovereignty and matchless power. This is the perfect time to really learn, way down deep into your bones, that He holds the whole world together and you don’t have to.
The Nines: The Peacemaker You love connection and, boy, are you getting a chance to connect during this season! You are excellent at giving support and you love being with your people.
While you are experiencing unprecedented access, time, and memory-making with your people, but you feel the tension rising as your people argue, fight, and complain. Tension you could live without.
To cope with this tension, you forget your own preferences and plans so you can focus on your people, which means there’s harmony and comfort, even if it’s a false connection.
You would rather have a false peace than tension any day of the week. You are neglecting yourself at a time when self-care is essential.
This is also a time of tremendous growth for you spiritually. God grows us through change and adversity and you have an opportunity to share your preferences and express your anger knowing your people still love you. It may be awkward, but in the end, working through what’s frustrating you will be worth all the effort and deeper connection you crave.
The Ones: The Reformers Is it okay to say that you find this season a bit challenging? You feel incapacitated and unable to help.
Here are all the ways that Ones feel out of control:
- You have no control over whether others follow the rules and best practices put in place like social distancing and wearing a mask.
- You’re not in charge of where you go or what you do. Much of what you want to do is closed.
- You feel as if you’re doing nothing well because you didn’t have time to plan and recalibrate for a change you didn’t initiate.
To cope, you typically resort to rules and routines, but that rug feels like it’s been pulled out from under you. In your anger and frustration, you may be overly scheduling and color-coding any bit of daily life. And you’re probably on your 17th schedule by now!
This is also a time for growth. You may -- emphasis on may -- now have more time to do what you typically neglect: play, be silly, have fun with your family.
God can use this time to strip you of some of your busyness so you can slow down and realize how much you enjoy this slower pace and how truly special your people are.
The Twos: The Helpers The pandemic is both a blessing and a curse. You love helping others and people need help and support the most during a crisis. You’re the one checking on other people, sewing face masks, and picking up groceries for neighbors. Because of your ability to genuinely listen and care for others, people are drawn to you.
However, because of social distancing, the ways you are able to care for others is limited, which you find really irritating.
To cope, you find yourself repressing your needs to meet the needs of others. Right now is all about others and very little about you.
This is a prime opportunity for growth for Twos. What an incredible time for God to strip away the false belief that expressing your own needs and asking for help is bad. He longs to hear from you and for you to grow in real connection with others.
The Threes: The Achievers As one Three to another, this time is a gift! This is an ideal time for spiritual growth because you have fewer places to go, expectations to meet, and people to impress so you now have the opportunity to let Jesus tend to the emotions you’ve neglected for so long.
For a Three, this is a time of lightness.
Normally, you cope by conforming to expectations and achieving, but now you have the amazing opportunity to discover who you are without external noise and input and ways to prove your worth. You’re a girl on lockdown who gets to come home to herself.
The Fours: The Individualists This is a time that you can shine Type Fours. You are the most naturally empathic of all the types, which means you can understand and almost feel the feelings of those around you. You have the ability to understand the pain and hurt of others, and there is certainly a lot of pain right now.
To cope, you’re focusing on what you’ve lost. You think about what you had before and it’s gone. But you’re also focusing on the beauty in the pain.
You see -- more than any other type -- that through our woundedness and brokeness there is still an undefeated human spirit. You see the generosity, sacrifice, hope, and healing even in the hard. You hope that all of us will gain perspective and meaning during AND on the other side of the pandemic.
The Fives: The Investigators The pandemic feeds into your world view that it’s best to be self-sufficient, that the world is a hostile + harsh place, and your home is your castle so it’s best to retreat there.
To a certain extent, you are living isolated because you’re not going anywhere and there are fewer demands for your time, but your people are depleting your energy reserves. You feel the most at peace when you have limited obligations and are on your own schedule, but that’s not your life right now.
You love collecting, organizing, and analyzing information and you certainly have a lot to plot, chart, and graph during this time.
To cope, you’re withdrawing into yourself, which can be helpful at times, but also unhealthy when you aren’t letting anyone into your emotional world.
The pandemic also gives you a tremendous opportunity to grow: to give God the time and space to remind you that you do need His love and the love of others. He is your faithful provider and wants you to know how many resources you do have -- in Him and in your physical world.
The Sixes: The Loyalists The pandemic feeds into your worldview that the world is unsafe and you must be on your guard. This season may be the worst-case scenario you’ve ever thought through.
Your superpower is thinking about what might go wrong, strategizing ways to solve it, then preparing for it. In other words, Sixes, you have the potential to be the calmest in this crisis because you’ve already thought through all the options and scenarios. This may be your finest hour because you’ve planned and prepared.
But for some Sixes, it also may be the time of most anxiety because you’re worried about your health and safety and the health of those in your family. You wonder if you’ll ever be safe again.
To cope, you absorb and sort information and then imagine what might happen next. On one hand, this might be helpful to take data and act on it.
But for most Sixes, this just means you become preoccupied with research then formulating a plan then doubting that plan and doing nothing or frantically doing a lot of inconsequential activities.
Yet this is also an opportunity for you to grow by trusting in God’s sovereignty, that no matter how much data you have, only God can make you feel safe and confident.
This may be a time when God strips away the blinders that keep you from seeing how capable, competent, and smart you are and how much agency you have to act on your behalf.
The Sevens: The Enthusiasts A home-bound pandemic is the worst-case scenario for most Sevens.
Where is the fun?
How much more bored can you get?
When can you see people again?
You’re coping by reframing the negative of the pandemic into positives:
Look at all the new recipes I’m trying!
I’ve always wanted to coordinated a Zoom happy hour and now I had a chance!
You also cope with the fear and stress of the pandemic by procrastinating on projects and chores in the pursuit of doing something more fun, a la baking and happy hours.
You love to brainstorm so you’ve come up with 12 new ways to have fun at home and you’re sharing them with all of us online.
(But let’s be honest: brainstorming them can be more fun than actually following through on them. Shopping for supplies for your backyard ballon-a-palooza is boring!)
Your imagination is in overdrive as you think of all the ways this pandemic could be really good in the long run and not as bad you as you imagine.
This time also provides an opportunity for you to grow when you realize you are fun all on your own. And your people are pretty awesome too! You may come to find that routines and rhythms aren’t as restricting as you initially thought and that you can do this. That this is hard and painful, but it hasn’t killed you yet.
Win a $25 gift card! Anyone who hasn’t already written a review and does, is entered to win a $25 gift card to the place of your choice: either Chick-fil-A, Target or Amazon.
To enter to win,
- Leave a rating or review
- Email a screenshot to info@jillemccormick.com by 9 p.m. Central on April 30, 2020
- I’ll randomly select one winner and email the winner.
Easy-peasy, lemon-squeezey!
Key Quotes You are God’s girl, who gets to come home to yourself
Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you! * Get your free Enneagram e-book here
Previous Episode Mentioned * Bonus Episode #5: Grace-giving ways to practice self-care during a pandemic in your real, busy, overwhelming life
Here’s how to connect * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page
So what is the Enneagram anyway? At its most basic, the Enneagram is an ancient personality-typing tool that outlines nine basic personality types. At a more complex level, it gives you language to speak what rumbles in your heart, soul, mind, and body. It gives voice to your motivations, desires, coping mechanisms, and defaults.
To understand the Enneagram, it’s important to understand what it is not. 1. The Enneagram is not who you are. 2. The Enneagram is not a weapon to inflict on others. 3. The Enneagram is not an excuse to stay stuck in poor behavior.
Here’s why the Enneagram is important to your spiritual growth: When you know your Enneagram type, you:
- Know your default sin, patterns, behaviors, temptations, and traps.
- Understand how God wired you so you can keep what you love and discard what doesn’t serve you well.
- Have language for unhealthy behaviors so you can work on what’s tripping you up hand-in-hand with Christ.
- Can take all parts of you - your wounds, fears, longings, dreams - out into the open so they can be exposed to the light of grace.
A brief overview of all nine Enneagram types Type 1 is The Reformer Ones are reliable, responsible, honest, conscientious, and hard-working. You are diligent, practical, and analytical. You strive for flawlessness and love order. Rituals, routines, and rules make you happy and where you find security.
You are motivated by perfection or rightness. You want everything to go as you plan in your head. Type 1s are obsessed with best practices. You get things done with high expectations, hoping against hope, that reality will mesh with the idealistic image in your head.
Type 2 is The Helper Twos are warm, open to others, supportive; cheerful, and optimistic. You are friendly, driven, energetic, competent, and get lots done. Twos can be shape-shifters, cute, the “Teacher's pet,” funny, playful, and excellent leaders.
You are motivated by your desire to help others and believe that you have the resources, time, and ability to help any person or organization any time, all the time. You hate to say “no” and will push down your own needs to help others. Your type operates from the heart more than any other.
Type 3 is The Achiever Threes are hard workers who know how to make a good impression. You are extremely competent, an efficient do-er, and make hard work look easy. You love completing tasks in the most rapid/efficient way possible so much that “Effective” should be your middle name. You are optimistic, practical, busy, and self-sufficient. There’s an undercurrent of stress that runs right beneath the surface, but you tend not to show your stress because you don’t want to show weakness Your magnetic personality draws people to you and you put a lot of energy into pleasing those in your life.
You are motivated by your desire to achieve and put a premium on your image, a.k.a. how others see you. Type Threes obsess about productivity and looking good while achieving, even if you feel like you’re drowning on the inside. No matter what you achieve, you feel like it’s never enough.
Type 4 is The Individualist Fours are the most emotional of all types. You are intellectual, introverted, and empathic. You are very aware of your individuality and emotions. You are constantly on the lookout for beauty, and see it wherever you look. However, your desire to be understood may lead you to over-identify with your flaws, so you feel like you never quite fit in.
You are motivated by the desire to be yourself and for others to recognize your “you-ness.” As a Four, you love expressing yourself and you’ve creatively crafted a unique way to do it. There is so much activity in your inner world that it’s easy to get lost in all that’s going on inside.
Type 5 is The Investigator Fives are analytical, rational, self-sufficient, objective, and calm in a crisis. You are a loyal and trustworthy friend. You err on the side of minimalism and economy. You also feel more comfortable thinking than feeling. Fives have a thirst for knowledge so they accumulate it. You are sensitive in your core and prefer privacy to flashiness.
You are motivated by the desire to know and to figure out what makes sense. This means you collect information and prefer to compartmentalize life into boxes, which leaves little space for mystery and areas of gray.
Type 6 is The Loyalist Sixes are analytical, extremely loyal, steadfast friends, good strategists, trouble-shooters, and problem-solvers. You are calm and effective in a crisis. You are wise, deeply thoughtful, and faithful. You like to play "devil's advocate" because of your natural skepticism. Sixes question almost everything. And everyone. You are also cautious, a worrier, and anxious.
You are motivated by being safe and you believe you can do this by following all the rules, which means you get frustrated when others don’t. You are constantly on the lookout for threats, so you prepare and develop support systems to feel safe.
Type 7 is The Enthusiast Sevens are positive, idealists, youthful, enthusiastic, hopeful about future, active, charming visionaries. They are fast movers and quick thinkers with lots of hobbies and a lot of friends. You’re the most energetic of all nine Enneagram Types.
You are motivated by your desire to experience joy and have freedom. This means that you don’t like to make a lot of commitments and you’re always on the search for the next big thing.
Type 8 is The Challenger Eights are intense, energetic, powerful, strong, fearless, fun, and generous. You are a good leader, a "big-picture" thinker, hard workers, and a passionate advocate. You can also be overbearing, impatient, intolerant of frustration, and strong-willed. You embody the phrase, “Go big or go home!”
You are motivated by a desire to protect yourself, which means you prefer to be in control. You live your life with passion, force, and autonomy even as you look to protect and bring justice to others.
Type 9 is The Peacemaker Nines adaptable, likable, energetic, and fun. You like order and control, but resist being controlled by others. You go with the flow and won’t rock the boat. You’re an excellent referee, but you’d prefer to leave discipline, hard conversations, and confrontation to others.
You are motivated by feeling settled and experiencing peace. This desire for peace-at-all-costs leads you to self-forget so you may forget your opinions, preferences, and dreams to accommodate others. Most devastating is you may forget your presence matters.
Key Quotes The Enneagram gives hope, insight, language, explanations, peace, and discomfort all at the same time.
You are not your Enneagram type. You are God’s girl.
Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you! * The Enneagram Institute * Your Enneagram Coach * The Road Back to You * The Complete Enneagram * The Path Between Us * Get your free Enneagram e-book here
Here’s how to connect * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page
How can you practically practice self-care when there’s more to do and fewer resources to do it with? How can you graciously practice self-care when you don’t have time, money, or a place to go? What does it look like to be supported by your friends when you must socially distance?
I’m so glad you asked.
There’s a reason you feel more overwhelmed than ever, meaning there’s no better time to practice self-care than in the middle of a pandemic. Because you’re a woman who doesn’t just want to survive this crazy season, you want to thrive in it.
In this episode, we’ll dive into:
- The mission of self-care
- Waking up your support team
- Three areas where you may be struggling
- And three mindsets to practice self-care with grace.
Our struggles fit into one of three areas:
- We are struggling logistically
- We are struggling emotionally
- We are struggling in our thought-life.
Here are questions to ask yourself when you need help identifying the problem.
To determine if you are struggling logistically, ask:
- Do my days feel orderly to me or do I feel like our schedule is out of control?
- Does our family life have a Lord-of-the-Flies vibe or do my people know what’s coming next and what the day looks like?
- Do I feel like a hamster running on a wheel -- I’m tired at the end of the day but feel like I made no progress?
To determine if you are struggling emotionally, ask:
- Am I not as in-control as I’d like to be right now?
- Does my heart beat fast when I think about all I have to do and how I’m going to manage it all?
- Do I dread people asking me how I’m doing because I don’t even know where to start because I feel like a mess?
- I’m an introvert. Am I spending time plotting how to escape a houseful of people?
- I’m an extrovert. Am I spending time plotting how to reconnect with other people?
To determine if you are struggling with our thought-life, ask:
- Am I upset that I don’t have time and space to process all these changes?
- Am I frustrated that I’m needed every minute of the day when I need downtime?
- Do I yearn for stretches of silence just to think?
- Does the world feel overly-loud right now with news reports and social media?
- Are my thoughts overly-critical and remind me of all the ways I’m failing?
Key Quotes * God is on board with you caring for yourself. * You don’t have to stay stuck in discouragement, hopelessness, fear, dread because you have resurrection power in you. * Caring for your soul means receiving the free gift of salvation through Jesus Christ. * Be kind to yourself. You’re doing the best you can in the hardest of circumstances.
Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you! * Reflect app * Pause app * Free 5-day Inner Critic Challenge: Text InnerCritic to 33777 * Subscribe to the newsletter here
Previous Episodes Mentioned Bonus Episode #3: How to give yourself grace as you parent through a pandemic
Bonus Episode #4: What to tell your kids about COVID-19, how to get your kids to open up, and ways to keep calm
Here’s how to connect * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page
Joining the Grace In Real Life podcast today is licensed professional counselor Shey Reichenau. Shey is a mental health therapist with Forever Hope Counseling & Educational Services specializing in working with children and adolescents.
And she’s here to help us answer these questions:
- How do I talk to my child about the coronavirus and all that’s going on in the world in an age-appropriate way?
- How do I help my younger kids have the language to share their feelings?
- How do I get my older kids to open up?
- What can we practically do to mitigate the sibling rivalry that keeps surfacing?
We dive into these questions and more PLUS Shey shares valuable resources with us at the end. And what she says when I ask her about how we moms can maintain a calm attitude will be on repeat in my head for a long time!
Key Quotes “It’s okay to have trial and error.” - Shey Reichenau
“There’s no such thing as a perfect parent.” - Shey Reichenau
Mentioned in the Podcast * CDC.gov * Child Mind Institute * PBS.org
Not Mentioned in the Podcast (but used by Team McCormick) The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you! These are products we use. I am not prescribing them, but wanted you to know what we’ve personally found helpful.
- Natural Vitality Calm: “Helps support healthy magnesium levels and supports a calming and unique relaxing experience.” The girls use this powder to quiet their minds naturally so they can relax and go to sleep.
- Feelings Chart: If you have littles who don’t have the vocabulary to share exactly how they feel, pointing to this chart can help.
- Genexa Calm Keepers: All-natural supplements that help lower anxiety.
- Weighted Lap Pillow: It’s cuter than a weighted blanket, but helps calm and soothe people
- White Noise Machine: Helps relax our people
- Need help with sibling rivalry? Check out this free resource by author Becky Kopitzke.
Here’s how to connect * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page
How does the gospel -- the good news of Jesus’ life, death, resurrection, and ascension -- intersect with our real life? What impact does Jesus have in our daily life? How does Jesus make any difference in the roles we play as moms, sisters, friends, employees, and volunteers?
Jesus rescues us from sin and ourselves. Jesus acted on our cries to rescue us.
God gives you grace and He delights in you.
Key Quotes * God gives you grace when you want a checklist. * God moved on your behalf and He did all the work to save you. * God gets angry when you -- His precious daughter -- are surrounded by evil that hurts and oppresses your heart.
How can we be gracious to ourselves in real life? What does living in grace actually look like? Is there a secret sauce that makes us less harsh and more kind and compassionate toward ourselves? How can we receive the grace God so freely offers us?
In this episode, we walk through three grace-giving mindsets so you can live out of grace in real life. Let’s put the inner critic and unkind thoughts about ourselves away. Let’s show ourselves some compassion!
Here they are three truths you can put on repeat to live a grace-filled life:
- I am a rookie.
- I am a human.
- God is trustworthy in all things.
Mentioned in the Podcast The FCC requires that I tell you that I'm an Amazon Affiliate, which means I earn a bit of commission on each sale. But don't worry there's no added cost to you! * Dr. Susan David’s Emotional Agility * The Good Place
Here’s how to connect * GraceInRealLifePodcast.com * Instagram * Facebook group * Facebook page
How can you practically parent with grace during a pandemic? What does that even look like? And how can you do it in real life?
In this episode, you'll learn
- Seven mindsets to encourage you and give you grace
- What’s working for Team McCormick
- and receive a blessing over you
Here are seven encouraging truths for you right now: 1. You’re allowed to feel what you need to feel. 2. Remember you’ve never been through this before. 3. You’re not doing home-schooling wrong. 4. What you’re doing counts. 5. You don’t need to compare. 6. Treat your new schedule as a science experiment. 7. Don’t beat yourself up.
Mentioned in the Podcast * Text the word INNERCRITIC to 33777 to take part in the FREE Inner Critic Challenge * Reflect app * Angry Mom free download
What does God say when we fear?
How are we supposed to operate in the unknowns that have become our new norm these days?
We’ll unpack three areas today:
-
Fear -- what it is, where it comes from, and how it manifests itself
-
What God says about fear
- What we can do to practically live in grace during a time of global fear and anxiety
In my newsletter that will go out on Thursday, March 26, I’m sharing verses that will help you in times of stress. If that sounds like a newsletter, you’d like to receive once a week, just go here.
How you view God impacts how -- or whether -- you receive grace and if you draw close to Him. Do you view God as your loving father, a policeman, sovereign, or a taskmaster?
In this episode, we break down five ways you may view God and we uncover who He really is.
When you're struggling or discouraged, this is the episode you need to hear!