The Alligator - I Might Be A Croc, I Don't Know - Show: Recent Episodes
Robert and Timothy Hamilton
This podcast features our friend, Alligator, in skits from an imaginary swamp. Alligator spouts thought-provoking satire, and eats almost anything he can get his jaws around. He's no dummy, though: In the midst of his babble you'll likely hear references to science, math, technology, and arcane vocabulary, as well as thinly veiled commentary on contemporary topics. Alligator is always coming up with new theories and inventions, which may amuse and will definitely confound you.
This episode is a momentous intellectual event. Too bad you missed it, as well as the point.
You don't even know what antialiasing is, do you!? But then neither does your alter-ego.
If you'd like to wade through something that has oozed out of the swamp, then here's your big chance.
If you think this blurb describes this episode, then to correct that misunderstanding, just listen to the show.
The only thing more intoxicating than this episode is fermented toe juice. So soak it up!
If you print this non-synopsis, and look at it from a satellite, then it will appear to be the size of the period at the end of this sentence
If you think evil frog pickles would leave a bad taste in your mouth, wait 'til you finish listening to this episode.
I could tell you what this episode is about, but then I'd have to turn you into one of the undead . . .
Even if he fails for the umpteenth time, Alligator will keep trying to swamp the whole world.
If we could figure out what this episode is actually about then we'd write a summary right here.
Host Bob periodically takes over Alligator's voice, as the show morphs from China to paper towels and peanut butter.
If you can fire up just one brain cell, then during this episode you'll be able to match Alligator's mental output.
Right after you listen to this episode, just ponder the fact that all your successes and all your failures -- in a "butterfly effect" fashion -- have led to this high point in your life.
(One thesis is that the following sentence is an accurate synopsis of this episode: Another thesis is that this summary is false. A third possible thesis is:--)
This non-synopsis began with the first T, and is about to end with the following period.
Fundamentally, this episode is just a string of 1's and 0's. And you thought this show was just going to be a big zero!
You only need one brain cell to grok this episode; Alligator's swamp is deep, but his shows are shallow. . .
Here's an earworm for you: "Alligator invades your dreams; please enjoy your bloody screams."
The following is a big lie: Listening to this episode will lower the risk of the asterisk.
Alligator has promised not to pillage your village, if you'll promise to listen to this episode.
If you think you can make sense of this episode, then you've probably eaten too many chocolate frogs.
We can't tell you what this show is about because we'd have to use the "Forbidden Word."
Are swamp spiders invading the SwamperNet? Does miming work in a podcast? What are dictionaries doing in the swamp? You'll have to load up and log on to find out!
After you listen to this episode, please tell us what you think of the following synopsis: " . . ."
If you're still reading this, you've already gone over the edge. So, you might as well go ahead and listen to this episode, too.
After you listen to episode 78, you should read this deceptive description, starting at the beginning of the very sentence that you just finished reading.
After you listen to this episode, you'll realize that its content has nothing to do with this synopsis.
Alligator claims he is not going to do this show. So I'm not going to write this blurb!
If we could tell you what this episode is really about, you wouldn't believe it. In order to grok this croc, you really need to listen for yourself.
After you listen to this episode, close your eyes and move your head from side to side. Notice that you can now hear a "burble slosh."
Alligator wants to re-write the dictionary. I think this new idea of his really stinks; what do you thinks?
Alligator has got to be right -- wouldn't you agree? For your own sake, I sure hope so!
If previous episodes have left you confused, this one should clarify everything. If you have never listened before, it might press your reset button.
Alligator hates chocolate, so that's not really what this episode is about; however, he does unveil a new candy that he has just invented. We hope you'll eat some.
What do you think about Alligator's new plan to deal with the political situation? If he follows through, he might find himself swamped for quite some time. . .
Are aliens stealing Alligator's frogs for the Intergalactic Frog Museum? Will Alligator be able to build his own flying saucer in time? What does Fiji have to do with all this? The only way to find out . . . is to listen!!!
If you dare to listen, then you'll have to join the Zombies who were kicked off this episode.
What unavoidably comes to mind when I try to describe this episode accurately is absolutely nothing. Wouldn't you agree?
The title of this episode is a tribute to what is happening to the regular listeners of this show.
If we told you what this episode is really about, then we'd have to kill you. So, you'll just have to figure it out yourself by listening; however, that might be lethal, too.
If you don't want your Doppelganger to gang up on you, then listen to this episode to learn how Alligator deals with the problem.
The next time you fidget, keep in mind the events that ensue in this episode. Of course you'll have to listen to it first.
This episode's description has nothing to do with its content; but maybe the title does.
Alligator begins talking about snow snakes, but then gets all heated up about tangled tangential issues.
If you listen to this episode you won't learn anything useful. Instead, you should enroll in the main course offered by "The Swamp Gas University."
Alligator reveals a flaw in his "Theory of Almost Absoulutely Eveything," and also talks about his Cosmic Quark Spinner. It's all quite charming.
What do plant liars and The Holey Cow Church have to do with Alligator? You'll have to listen to this episode to find out.
If you can repeat the title of this episode backwards ten times without a mistake, then you don't need to listen to this show. Or maybe you do?
This episode is pending deletion. Please listen to something else. This show will self destruct in 3...2...KABOOM!
If you simultaneously listen and don't listen to this episode, then you will and you won't learn what a quantum mechanic is and isn't.
Someone is leaving a mess in Alligator's swamp; does it have anything to do with spoiled sauerkraut?
Who has been inducted into Alligator's new, elite society? You'll have to listen to find out.
Alligator happens upon the truth, but you'll never believe what it is or where he finds it.
Alligator discusses the fate of someone who trips on the boundary between the finite and the infinite.
Alligator thinks a soldering iron might allow him to esacape the prison of his own mind. What do you think?
Alligator wrestles with the problem of ersatz alligators, but ends up reminiscing about cryptobiotic volleyball.
After listening to this episode, you'll realize that everyone these days is stealing Alligator's trademarked idea.
Alligator weaves together yarns about a pirate frog, a treasure trove, an indoor outhouse, and an existential exoskeleton. What more could you want?
If you want to learn how to make historians hysterical, you should hang with Alligator by listening to this episode of our podcast.
If you plan to indulge in the latest fad, cheese stretching, you should first listen to this episode of our podcast.
In Part Two of this podcast episode, Alligator incorporates a random number generator to enhance his BS artistry.
In Part One of this podcast episode, Alligator abandons geekdom to become a "Bull Shoot Artist."
Alligator starts his own cooking show. But wait, there's more -- way too much more. . .