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Dave suggests a song that Herman Cain simply must add to his repertoire
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Another institution tests the limits of too-big-to-fail
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Dave is ready for the economic boom. But ... where is everybody?
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Happy Days will be here again, maybe even in our lifetimes!
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IBM wants to change the subject, but Dave doesn't fall for it.
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Dave reminds the little monsters that Lady Gaga's freedom isn't free
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Dave explains why no middle eastern regime need fear democracy
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Dave explains the theatrical drama of the State of the Union address
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Dave points out that yes, she has been called by God to use politics to promote His holy rule. But since she's not Muslim, it's OK
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Dave discovers the real significance of the Ines Sainz locker room incident
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Dave leads the way in not covering the top story
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Say -- if I threaten to burn a pile of Bibles, can I get Terry Jones to change his location?
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How can Christians demonstrate that extremist book-burning pastors don't represent mainstream Christianity? Buy Qur'ans and deliberately NOT burn them.
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True, they charge you to check your bags, to carry your bags, to bring your legs with you, and for a bag of crackers that will barely sustain life. HOWEVER -- when they strip you of your belt and shoes, scan you, force you to turn off your cell phone and leave you on the tarmac for two hours -- that part is FREE!
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Now that the President is taking responsibility, we at BP have arranged for our CEO to stand on the shore near some seagulls and accept his apology.
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Dave explains the debate over Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan
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Another Wall Street surprise mystifies America' brightest
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Dave reveals that declaring health care reform unconstitutional might have an interesting little side-effect
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Dave explains the brave new world of retail banking
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Dave helps the open carry folks out of the closet and into the Starbucks
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Dave says it's time the free lunch was really over
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They lack the courage to attack the root of the problem
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The manliest of men makes it clear he is not afraid of the showers
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Dave looks at Boeing's attempt to shake its new plane to pieces
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How Dave learned to embrace the idea of opting out of the modified opt-in.
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Dave points out that an American's highest duty is to help the health care industry make a profit
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Dave has trouble believing that fixing 175 paychecks will do the trick
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There appears to be mounting evidence that the line between news and entertainment has, perhaps, blurred ever so slightly
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Dave reveals the true meaning of the balloon-boy non-story story
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In a sign the world will likely end long before 2012, Dave supports Limbaugh's bid for the Rams
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Dave helps conservative Andrew Schlafly revise the Bible to be more to God's liking
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For some reason, cost doesn't matter in Afghanistan
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How Dave learned to stop worrying and love uranium enrichment
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Dave cannot accept the latest outbreak of irrational exuberance
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Health care reform hasn't even passed, and there are death panels already!
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It's not about race, it's about property rights
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Dave exposes the TRULY controversial presidential comment
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Michael Jackson's case may show that sometimes the problem isn't too little health care, but too much
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Dave channels Willie Nelson in a bold attempt at explaining South Carolina Politics
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Yes, Judge Sotomayor, not being a bloodless zombie, will be influenced by her experiences.
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Rush, Sean and the rest are afraid to say what their pro-life legislation would look like. But one brave Dave Ross listener demonstrated some long-overdue courage
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The 20,000 protestors turn out to be more like 100
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The ghost of Richard Nixon hovers over the torture debate
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Dave suddenly bursts into song over the sad fate of another fallen hero
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Dave predicts that even Barack Obama will fail to shut down the tax havens
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And as long as we're embracing arbitrary benchmarks, suppose we evaluate the critics too?
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For conservatives, the torture argument boils down to WWJD: What Would Jack Do. But a closer look at the hero of "24" reveals a surprise that everyone has conveniently forgotten.
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The ruthless Somali pirate turns out to be ... a victim
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The new era in US foreign policy has Dave ready for a little Havana rum
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Dave documents the latest outbreak of Teleprompter derangement syndrome
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Democrats channel the politics of black and white; Republicans cornered.
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Republicans unleash a stampede, and wake up with hoofprints on their backs
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Has anyone noticed the irony? What happened to Greed is Good?
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A bi-partisan coalition of outrage abandons capitalism and prepares to confiscate Wall Street bonuses
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CNBC legend Jim Cramer reduced to quivering puddle of flesh after Comedy Central intervention, begs for second chance, vows to change life
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Dave sings a torch song to the man who made dreams come true
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Dave examines the growing causes of sleeplessness
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Dave looks at the shocking ways in which opposites attract
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Dave longs for the days when even pets had decent credit
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Dave exposes the famous CNBC rant as an oratorial derivative
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It's true that our economic stimulators don't know what works. But they DO know what DOESN'T work.
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Dave looks at America's deepest fears about President 44
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Dave looks back at his own interview with the world's most famous and powerful man
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DAVE ROSS COMMENTARY FRIDAY 20080116
Those of us who fly on a regular basis have many uncomfortable questions floating around in our heads as we pretend to ignore the safety lecture.
But we suppress them because we know that strapping yourself in a metal tube to go hurtling through the atmosphere at 500 miles an hour surrounded by jet fuel is an inherently insane idea.
And -- we have a suspicion that despite all the options they give you, what would actually happen in the unlikely event of a water landing is that you die.
But now we have some answers:
Will this plane REALLY glide with both engines out? Yes.
Can a plane actually land in the water without breaking apart? Yes.
Will a fully loaded plane actually float? Yes.
Is it possible to send a text message under pressure? Yes -- one woman managed to message her husband -- "My plane is crashing."
Is there really a reason to have able-bodied people in the exit row? Yes.
Can you really evacuate a plane in 90 seconds? Yes.
Will the life vests really inflate when you pull firmly on the cord? Yes.
Can the wing really hold you when you step on it? Yes.
Can a pilot like Chesley B. Sullenberger III ever be replaced by a computer? No!
Is there any city more prepared for an emergency than New York City? I doubt it -- talk about a winning team -- the name of the first ferry captain at the scene was Vincent Lombardi!
And I guess the biggest question of all:
Do prayers get answered? Let's see: the plane missed the George Washington Bridge by 900 feet, it stayed intact, it didn't sink, the boats were right there, and nobody died.
What do you think?
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Dave proposes the ultimate test for the stimulus -- but is anyone brave enough to try it?
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Dave examines the concept of "greedy autoworkers"
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I'll bet we've heard this story often enough that any one of us could Fill In The Blanks
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This is a tough one -- you may have to listen several times
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Dave wonders just exactly HOW we are supposed to buy more stuff when there's no place to put it.
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Dave explains how no one seems to be able explain what they've been explaining to us.
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The same voters who changed history for African Americans pull up the ladder
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A whole new group of Americans will discover their inner patriotism
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Dave reminds persons of indecision that there are no more speeches left to listen to, no more skeletons to emerge.
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Dave examines the "Communism" charge, and advises the apostle Paul not to run for President
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No excuses. It's not like no one knew this would be a pretty well-attended election.
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Dave examines this scary idea of spreading the wealth
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We have learned that sometimes, it's perfectly OK to throw money at a problem
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Still going after bin Laden when we can barely keep the banks solvent.
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Remember the days when you could cut taxes with a war to fight and a trillion dollar debt to pay, and it didn't matter?
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So I guess rugged individualism is every bit the fiction it was when Hoover tried to defend it?
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Umbrellas are annoying, clumsy, and unwieldy -- until it rains.
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Dave and the listeners try to understand where their money went
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Dave reveals that sexism and anti-porcinity is all around us
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Hey Mr. President -- can you really feel my pain from the podium?
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Doesn't Putin understand that our missiles are purely defensive, and that we would be perfectly happy to see purely defensive Russian missiles on our borders?
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If I go negative on negative ads, could it create a massive matter-antimatter explosion?
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Dave warns of the great brainwashing now underway
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Dave pays homage to the fossil fuel that builds character
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The liberal mainstream media, still determined to undermine family values, starts pushing the idea of married sex among straight couples. Where does it stop?
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You'll find your fortune falling/ all over town --
Just make sure your umbrella/ is upside down
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Dave reveals the true genius of the new iPhone 3G
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Dave rips the mask off Iran's missile-based oil marketing program
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Dave guesses that Jesse Jackson's whispered gaffe was a window into his soul
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Dave overreacts to another display of diplomatic testosterone
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Dave wonders where Iraq gets off making demands on us without checking with us first
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Dave used to revel in flip-flopper stories, but now he's flip-flopped
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Dave wonders when patriots will start enforcing the Constitution
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Dave talks to a listener who sees the anti-Christ in Obama
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Dave is overjoyed that this will no longer be an issue
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Dave issues a passionate appeal on behalf of the land of his birth
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Dave bids farewell to a countercultural perfectionist
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Dave invokes common sense and all he gets is blowback.
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Dave shocks millions by declaring it's time to to see if the oil companies mean it
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Dave examines the divine consequences of gay marriage
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Dave attempts to explain confusing news stories by playing a piece of actuality Real Slow
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Dave reveals that Rachel Ray has inadvertently hit upon the solution to terrorism
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Dave decides to stop worrying and jump into bed with the all-too-ravishing free market
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Will no one speak up for the rights of Big Oil?
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Lord, if only we didn't have appeasers, all my problems would be... pretty much the same
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Say -- this time, could we get that in writing?
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Terrorist endorsements -- and those who sperad them -- drive Dave nuts
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Dave discovers that the rule on preachers is listen, but don't inhale
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Dave explains that the key to hoarding food successfully is careful market timing
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Dave examines the Pennsylvania comeback and finds that some Democratic ideas have come back too -- as Republican ideas
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At some point, the pundits are just going to form a line at the nearest cliff and jump into the sea.
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No, Dave, no one cares what he actually said. But that won't stop you, will it?
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Dave is the only pundit to discover the real news in Obama story
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Dave reminds us that it's all fun and games until the oxygen masks drop.
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Dave asks why everybody beats up on the poor Olympic torch -- especially when China is simply doing what all nations have done, including you-know-who.
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Dave observes that even for the people closest to the operation, Iraq remains very complex and difficult to explain.
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Dave wonders why everyone seems so shocked that politics is competitive.
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No need even to listen to this -- the answer is No.
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Web Exclusive -- Dave reveals the real meaning of Hillary's unspectacular Bosnia trip.
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The TSA protects America from terrorist female body hardware
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Dave reminds us that some liberations are more liberating than others
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Dave reveals why no one will do anything about Social Security or Medicare.
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Dave warns Christians about the new dangers of attending church
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Dave discovers the other skeleton in the Obama mentor closet.
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Five years into the war, we can confidently say that the radical bogeymen still plan to destroy America whenever it's convenient.
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Dave takes the novel approach of actually listening to what they said, as opposed to how they said it.
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Dave and the Chorus reveal the secret to sexual continence for the all-too-well connected
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And remember, the only thing of value that changed hands between Bill and Monica was some pizza.
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Dave reveals the only honest way to select a safe president
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In response to an e-mail, Dave revolutionizes coverage of the economic downturn by dismissing the gloom-and-doomers and turning instead to motivational speakers.
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Even after 20 debates, there is never enough time to spell out what you mean before the commercial break
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Dave finds the thing that links republicans and democrats and ends with what he thinks is an incredibly clever line
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Exclusive: The Granma singers in a socialist samba
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Dave reports on the end of the Castro era and the beginning of the...uh ...Castro era.
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Dave re-defines 50's pop music with this ballad for Barack
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Dave shamelessly lusts for a new twist in the White House race
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Dave discovers that all the world's problems have been solved. Now we can all go home.
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Dave sometimes uses this argument in speeches to computer geeks who think they can change the world
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Dave pressures Congress to get busy with the refund and to cut out the politics as usual, even though he needs little stories like this for material
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Dave looks at the developing splits in the electorate and blesses the remaining candidates
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Dave reveals how you will choose the next President
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Dave gets completely carried away trying to find some deeper political meaning in the Superbowl.
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Dave observes that the only thing missing from the Democratic Debate was John Lennon.
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The author of "A Bound Man" neatly summarizes what it would take for Barack Obama to find his voice
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Dave reveals the identity of the Republican who first tipped the enemy to our plans to leave Iraq
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Dave searches for the messages that lurk far below the surface
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Dave reaches into the archives to put our progress in perspective
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Dave channels the Rolling Stones and calls America to the Malls!
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Dave explains the latest non-torture explanations
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Dave points out that even for free marketeers, the free market has its limits
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Dave nails this one -- nobody else figured out the real significance of Iran not having a nuke program
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Dave tries a new spin on this event -- portraying the President as a closet peacenik
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Dave seeks reassurance from the people who protect us.
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Dave notices that our ally, Pervez Musharraf, can't quite abide free speech
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Hillary Clinton's debate debacle reveals more than just imperfection
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Dave finds that the anti-Iran planning has a familiar ring ring ring
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Dave struggles to accept assurances that competent people are sitting across from Iran at the chess board
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If you want to feel the heat, you have to be in the kitchen
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I guess this makes him one of those "phony soldiers"
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Dave uses French Horns to determine who's ready to be president.
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Dave recommends that if your wife doesn't show up after the night shift, you tell the cops she's got a dirty bomb or at the very least smuggles pot
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Dave reveals the very real rhetorical consequences of persisting in Iraq
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Dave analyzes Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's UN speech and Iranian reaction and tries to find the hidden meaning
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Dave finds an eerie parallel between the thinking of a certain Iranian leader and a familiar American policy
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Dave explains to white people that the way you can tell that an issue is about race is when someone stands up in front of a microphone and says "it's not about race"
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Dave wonders why Democrats cannot understand the simple numerical concept of addition followed by subtraction.
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Dave reveals the real meaning of the debate over the MoveOn ad
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Dave warns against wallowing in the tragedy of September 11th
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Dave maintains strict objectivity as he lists what cannot be debated
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Dave invites listeners to fill in the blanks on a story we've all heard before
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Dave reveals how to re-kindle the magic in a restroom romance
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Don't tell anyone, but the real war is being won.
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If Larry Craig hangs onto his job, gay soldiers are home free. Which is probably why he's toast
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Dave interviews former UN Ambassador John Bolton, and finds himself awash in deja vu
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Dave updates the Tony Orlando classic as a heads up to men's room users who thought all that toe-tapping was merely impatience
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Dave examines reaction to the departure of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales
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Baggy Pants -- it's one more reason the terrorists want to kill us
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Somebody needs to write one, so it might as well be me
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Dave reveals what's next in community drug-testing
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Everything's fine now; the myth that the NFL is riddled with super-macho dog hating brutes is erased
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Dave is ready to give women what they tell their therapists they want
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Dave examines the issue of rising food prices, and determines what the level of general panic should be
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It turns out Cheney got it right -- and long before anyone else
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Dave wonders what would happen if it was sleeper cells undermining the bridges?
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In the YouTube spirit, Dave uses YouTube to turn his commentary over to Regular Americans
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Dave tackles the issue of censuring the President, which would involve sending him a nasty letter.
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Dave tackles the (t)horny issue of sexuality on CSPAN
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Dave explains the case of Richard Carmona using the world's most famous patter song.
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Dave opposes impaired driving, but is proud as can be that Al Gore III's Prius can do 100
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Dave observes what happens when the Kool Aid wears off.
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Dave can't believe that a conservative Suoreme Court would rule against the Lord just because he might enjoy an occasional toke.
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Dave discovers that even the Schools of Martyrdom have their personnel issues
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Dave gets all righteous about the delays in getting upstanding Americans the passports they deserve
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Dave reflects on the strangely intimate phenomenon of Dry Cleaning
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Dave once again preaches his hopelessly naive view of the nation's immigration crisis. He can't help it -- he was raised on the New Testament.
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Dave marvels at how a nation we haven't even TRIED to occupy could love us so much.
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When current events get too heavy, it's nice to know we'll always have Paris
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Dave reports on the arrest of the kind of person we'd unhesitatingly send off to Guantanamo if it hadn't already been filled with people who are supposedly dangerous even though they never sent a single unsolicited Viagra ad
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To the other charges against the attorney general you can now add a lousy bedside manner
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Dave explains, in one of his most subtle pieces, the Republicans' fixation with John Edwards hair
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Dave reveals the secret to salvation from $4 gas
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Since no one else will, Dave spends 87 seconds stating the obvious.
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Dave talks with journalist/advocate Raed Jarrar who says that maybe it IS about the oil after all. Which may put our policy on a collision course with the fledgling democracy we're trying to protect
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Dave uses the leaks about those contentious White House meetings with congressional Republicans to propose a devilishly clever exit scenario.
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In a carefully-worded piece designed to defuse any gundamentalists who might consider him a gun-hater, Dave timidly asks whether maybe a few gun laws might be at least a little bit OK?
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Hear Dave pronounce the names of French politicians with a French accent.
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Dave talks to a man who is sick of illegal immigration, but hires illegal immigrants.
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Dave proposes a sure fire way to find out what the troops REALLY want
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A dead mastermind takes our attention off the anniversary of the Mission Accomplished anniversary
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Dave warns that accountability will cut both ways, eventually
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We could end up stuck no matter who gets to be president
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Dave wonders how long the Iraq debate will remain at an exalted level.
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Frustrated by the inability to define "victory" in Iraq, Dave hopes at least to find a definition of the word "wall"
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The Senate Foreign Relations Committee shoots blanks
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Senator Clinton lets the audience fill in the blanks when asked a question about "evil men"
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Dave blows the lid off the Inspector General's report on spending in Iraq
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Is the data being manipulated? Is Bush a Republican? Is Pelosi a Democrat?
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In another episode of Fill In The Blanks, Dave and the chorus explain the latest science on global warming.
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Dave points out that Joe Biden's verbal tumble goes far deeper than anyone knew
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Dave determines that the key to Barack's blackness is our collective whiteness.
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Oh, why can't the Democrats be as coy as their opponents?
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Dave states the obvious -- airline passengers must be kept cooped up and hungry for the good of the nation.
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Psychologists conclude that today's College grads are all about Me, prompting Dave to apologize on behalf of the Baby Boom parents who spawned them.
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Condoleezza Rice's Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day
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Congratulations Senator, and enjoy it! It can only go downhill from here.
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The ultimate solution is a waterfront monument in every coastal American city.
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His name may be Scooter, but it's spelled H-E-R-O
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Dave updates a beloved duet for the age of on-line narcissism and video revenge.
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Nancy Pelosi says the burden of proof is on the President -- but is it? Or is it a setup?
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When you lead a nation, there is nothing more important than saving face.
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Dave explores the meaning of hanging, and the "non-decisional" meeting
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The story of outed spy Valerie Plame inspired this sentimental ballad
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Dave takes the bizarre case of sheep behaving like sheep and reads it... REAL SLOW
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The girls of Rutgers won respect and vindication. The boys of Duke are on their own.
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This bouncy tune is dedicated to those clueless persons who from time to time meander out of the security line
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Senator Reid utters the L-word, and as the cock crows, Republicans deny all knowledge of it
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The Democrats' Iraq Amendment is a big fat political softball right down the middle.
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Dave wonders if the President is finally ready to outsource himself.
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Dave dedicates this song to all middle-aged weekend hikers who must finally accept that they're not 18 anymore.
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The facts are clear: it may be time to disinvent air travel
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Iran is apparently pining for the good old days. I guess you could call it hostalgia
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Dave explores the C-SPAN Wonderland that is the House of Representatives, where contradictory ideas can be simultanously true.
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Senators decide that requiring under-oath truth-telling by the Presdeint's staff couldn't hurt. (Like it didn't hurt Clinton. Until he got impeached. But more on that later.)
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Dave spins Al Gore's utility bill in a way that makes EVERYBODY happy.
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Once again, nothing illegal was done, but explaining just how legal everything was may get the explainers in legal trouble.
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The key to how we got to the present is the past.
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Dave realizes that if he's going to tackle the N-word issue he'd better tackle it now before the term N-word itself is banned.
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Newt Gingrich repents before Dr James Dobson on Focus on the Family, and appears to get a bye for being a supporter of traditional marriage despite his own conduct. While John McCain... well, it leads one to wonder whether any consistency is left in American religious politics.
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Yes, Hillary talked southern, and Barack talked black, and Dave has the evidence
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Dave points out that it's a big mistake to build the Mexican fence on the Mexican border.
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The President offers to allow his staff to be questioned without oaths, transcripts or cameras. But they can bring all the 3.6 ounce bottles of shampoo they want.
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Dave discusses the latest opinion poll which discovers that our outlook on life is pretty pessimistic, except when it's optimistic.
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Of COURSE Tour de France winner Floyd Landis tests positive for Testosterone. He's an AMERICAN!
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Dave explains the subtleties of last-minute campaigning
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A grainy video presents the latest threat to Iraqi democracy