15-Minute Parenting.: Recent Episodes
Joanna Fortune
With over twenty years of clinical expertise, psychotherapist and parenting expert Joanna Fortune shares her proven techniques that will enable you to better understand your relationship with your child as they grow. 15-Minute Parenting, is a mindful and practical parenting roadmap for busy and time-poor parents. Based on a simple and effective formula, it will transform family life in just fifteen minutes of daily play, resulting in less tears and more laughter.
In this episode Joanna answers the most common questions that arise when someone is living within a blended family unit. She covers everything from minding yourself, each other, the kids, the ex and the in-laws with practical clear advice
In this episode Joanna responds to a listeners question about how to better understand their child's feelings about climate change. She explains what Eco-Anxiety is and why we have to approach the scary reality of climate change through the lens of hope rather than fear
In this episode Joanna talks us through the impact of the trauma on war on those who are arriving into our Country. It can be hard to understand why our offers of help may not be received in the way we hoped they would or to understand the perspective of someone who is fleeing their Country in fear of their safety. Joanna talks us though the invisible scars of war.
Joanna speaks a lot about self-esteem and our young people but also parental-esteem. We know that self-esteem is something all children, regardless of gender, struggle with but now we have some deeper insights into our boys challenges with self-esteem. This episode explores boys struggles with self-esteem
In this episode Joanna is referring to a question posed to her by a parent concerned that their child withholds affection as they do not like hugs. Joanna explores how affection can be shared and shown in a multitude of ways and why it is important to respect our children's preferences in this regard as a way of modelling respect for body boundaries and consent. Joanna includes some playful ways to do this
What do you do when your child tells you that their friend in school said they can't be friends anymore or if your child declares that someone is not allowed to be their friend anymore? In this episode Joanna breaks down what is relational aggression even in very young children and how we should respond to this in these early years as it will shape how this relational aggression plays out in their older years too
Joanna is answering a question from a listener who is in a stand-off with their partner over what they should name their baby. Joanna explores how our names form part of our identities and how the story of our name, and the story of how our name was chosen for us, shapes (in part) the stories we live by. What's in a name? Quite a lot!
Are you raising a perfectionist child? Were you a perfectionist child? Perhaps you are a perfectionist parent or you were raised by one? If any or all of these ring a bell for you then this episode will help you to explore where these perfectionistic tendencies come from, the impact perfectionism has on our lives and what we can do to change this
This is the second part of our sensory discussion and this week Joanna is speaking about the lesser discussed senses of proprioception, Vestibular and Introception and offering playful ways to upward and downward regulate within each of these
In this episode Joanna talks us through 5 of our senses, the ones that we will all be most familiar with Touch, Taste, Smell, Sight, Hearing and will include some practical ways to use each sense to either calm or arouse ourselves/our children
This week Joanna is talking about how we parents can be our children's influencer in a sea of social media influencers. This involves that all too fine a line between being interested in what interests our children versus being intrusive and being open to receive and respond to any questions and curiosity they might have
Joanna responds to recent tragic news events with some practical suggestions and guidance as to how we can find the words and means to explain difficult news stories to our children and how to support them (and ourselves) through it.
Joanna responds to a parents question about how much time their 1-year-old should be able to play alone by talking us through the phases of play in those very early years...this is one of those times a parental want (that our children play alone) clashes with our children's need (to check in with us)
Joanna responds to a number of questions she has received about how best to encourage our children to share and why does it matter? She emphasises that fine line between encouraging sharing but never forcing it and talks us through why this matters
Joanna tables the touchy subject of self-touch in young children. She talks us through how body curiosity in children is both normal and healthy and how we might best respond to such behaviour in our children in a non-shaming way
Joanna takes 2 questions from parents to explore creative ways to slow down or structure the Christmas hype for children and also how to manage those endless Santa lists
Joanna is taking a short break from recording so this episode is an excerpt from her 15-Minute Parenting series of books. Today's excerpt is from her Teenager Years book and Joanna is reading to us about the transition into adulthood and being the adult child of aged parents. She also reads from some letters from parents on the advice they would give to their teenage selves and she invites you to bring to mind what advice you would whisper into the ear of your teenage self as you listen
Joanna is taking a short break from recording so this episode is an excerpt from her 15-Minute Parenting series of books. Today's excerpt is from her 8-12 years book and Joanna is reading to us about homework and how to creatively and playfully support our children's learning
Joanna is taking a short break from recording so this episode is an excerpt from her 15-Minute Parenting series of books. Today's excerpt is from her 0-7 years book and Joanna is reading to us about building our children's capacity for independence through chores and pocket money and of course, play
Joanna talks about why joy and the experience of shared joy isn't just a nice experience but is an essential one as we grow and develop throughout our lives. She distinguishes between happiness and joy and helps us to understand why we must invest in joy and gives us suggestions of ways to find joy in the everyday stuff
In today's episode Joanna talks to us about how to reflect on what is getting triggered in us by our children's emotional expressions. She gives us some reflective exercises that shine a light on how we were responded to versus how we wish we had been responded to and how to invest in our self-regulation so that we can co-regulate our children
In answering a listener's question about how to respond to their child's nightmares, Joanna helps us to distinguish between a nightmare and a night terror and offers suggestions of practical ways to respond to both
Joanna responds to a listener who doesn't feel she is even a good enough parent. Joanna highlights effort over outcome, empathy over sympathy and practical ways to invest in our own parental-esteem
Joanna responds to a parents distress at having discovered her 11 year old has been stealing. She helps us to reflect on what may be underpinning behaviour like this and the importance of responding rather than reacting to this behaviour
Joanna responds to a listener's question about the frustration and relational impact of parenting when not on the same page. She highlights the importance of knowing your parental "preferences" from parenting essentials and offers a structure for making those uncomfortable parenting discussions more comfortable.
In this episode Joanna talks about changing our play content in line with the seasons and specifically how to play with the changing colours and textures of Autumn and how to find playful ways to bring the outdoors indoors, especially as the evenings are getting darker earlier
We may be only a few weeks back to school but this discussion on what school refusal really is, what it may be about and how to respond to your child if they are experiencing school refusal will resonate with many of you.
Joanna talks us through the importance of developing an intergenerational self, for ourselves but also for our children. She talks about how, in our storied world, our storied lives start in the generations that came before us and while they play out in our lives today we can start to author new life chapters to change the stories we live by
Following on from last week's episode Joanna shares a variety of fun activities we can use while we are sitting waiting, be that in a queue or a waiting room. She tells us how to compile a simple but effective on-the-go play-kit and how to adapt this play while driving a car or stuck in traffic
In this episode Joanna shares a variety of fun family activities we can start playing with our 0-7 year olds, 8-12 year olds and teenagers. If you feel you need to flex your play muscles and inject some more playfulness into your relationships, this episode is for you
In this episode Joanna responds to questions from parents about how to handle their toddlers' behaviour in the lead up to a new baby coming home. Joanna takes us into the mind of the toddler so that we can empathically feel how they experience this huge change in their young lives and gives us practical tips and tools to ease the transition for all
Joanna gives us practical tips and tools for getting back to school ready with an emphasis on preparing our younger children for big school in a mask wearing environment. Joanna also mentions how our teens still need our support as they (re)adjust back into the school environment.
What do you do when your capable child takes a step backwards behaviourally? What about when your "big child" starts behaving like a "little child" again? Joanna responds to listeners questions about behavioural regression in children and how this regression typically goes hand-in-hand with progression
As our societies (re)open Joanna responds to rising queries from parents about social anxiety in their children. What do we do when social engagement has become the source for anxiety? Joanna talks us through practical ways to soothe the socially anxious child
What is a family holiday all about for you? Did you know that the change of environment, increased time together as afamily can support your child's brain development? Joanna talks us through how to structure our family holidays to ensure that play, flexibility and fun are at the centre of our holidays this summer
Joanna answers a listeners question about their 11 year olds behaviour on social media by giving us insight as to why it is so hard for this age group to self-regulate on these platforms and providing us with some practical tips to gradually introduce social media to our children in a more structured and supportive way when that time is right.
Joanna helps us to better understand the healthy (albeit challenging) role that ego-centrism plays in our pre-adolescents behaviour and how we can reflect and respond to these behaviour patterns rather than getting pulled into the dynamic in a reactive way.
Joanna answers a question from a listener that came in after last weeks episode on sensitive children to help us think about the "self-holding" child, that is the child who finds it difficult to share their emotional experiences with others and tends to hold onto them in an attempt to work it out on their own rather than reaching out to others for help with it.
Joanna explains what it is like to feel the world in such a deep way and how emotional sensitivity can amplify our emotional states. She provides us with practical ways to parent our emotionally sensitive children in an attuned way that values sensitivity for the emotional super-power it can be.
Joanna talks about self-esteem in our children and teenagers and how we can practically parent with esteem. She draws on research conducted by the Dove Self esteem Project in Ireland as she highlights where we are with self-esteem and how we can practically address the issue as a matter of priority
Following on from a past episode where Joanna advised how to avoid jumping in with a fix/change agenda today she responds to a question from a listener who asked how we ensure our children have practical problem solving skills to work such situations out. She addresses this through a 6-step problem solving formula that you can put into practice at home.
This week Joanna responds to your questions and comments on the topic of teen aggression and addresses the question of how the recent pandemic circumstances have contributed to a rise in aggressive behaviour or not. Joanna explains the difference between ager, conflict, aggression and violence and what to do when a situation is out of control along with playful ways to work with more mild levels of anger.
Joanna reflects on the findings of recent research that highlights the role of emotional connections between teachers and students to enhance learning outcomes. She talks us through how emotion is not the opposite to reasoning but is actually essential to reasoning. She raises the question as to how we can better support our teachers to support our children and offers playful activities that can be done at home and in the classroom.
In this episode Joanna responds to a question from a parent who is wondering how to tell their children that their parents are separating. She talks us through the ideal approach and how to handle the less than ideal reality by staying grounded in what we will always have in common, our shared love for our children.
Friendships are very important in adolescence. In this episode Joanna talks us through how the patterns of friendship change during adolescence and the role of ego in that. She spotlights a situation of a teenager who struggles to make friends and what their worried parent can do about this.
In this episode Joanna talks us through the psychological process of mentalisation and how we use this process to fill in the gaps of stories/life events when we don't actually know all of the details. She relates this to parents trying to read the minds of their teenagers when not a lot is being shared and the potential pitfalls of this. This episode is about embracing curiosity over certainty.
You are used to hearing Joanna speak about the importance of play in children's lives, well in this episode she is spotlighting the value of play in adult lives too. This episode is for any adult, not just parents! Joanna promotes growing the opportunities for playfulness in line with our own growing adult responsibilities and highlights how healthy a playful state of mind is in adult relationships.
Joanna refers to a parenting event she did where she spoke about why our older children still need and benefit from imaginative play after which she received a flurry of questions as to how parents can achieve this. In this episode she talks us through how to keep imaginative play alive throughout childhood.
In this episode Joanna talks about eating disorders and disordered thinking around food. She focuses in this episode on the impact an eating disorder can have, not only on the person living with the disorder but on relationships, especially the parent-child relationship.
Joanna has received many questions from parents about the fears and phobias their children have developed in recent months. In this episode she differentiates between a fear and a phobia and talks us through how to work through each with our children.
Joanna responds to a question from a grossed out parent of a dedicated nose picker while reflecting on the pro-social benefits of habit formation and how we can support our children in moving from some less desirable habits to more positive ones.
This episode discusses self-harm. Joanna responds to a question from a parent who feels they did not respond appropriately when they discovered their teenager was self harming. Joanna discusses what might be under-pinning it and what to do if you discover this frightening behaviour in your teenager.
In this episode Joanna answers a question from a parent who is struggling to stay calm in the face of their whining child. Joanna explains what whining is about and what it is seeking to communicate to us. By deepening our understanding of this common childhood behaviour we can better and more creatively respond to it in our children
Joanna talks us through the early emotional development of our infant babies and how this need to connect with us through play is there from the very beginning. Joanna introduces us to practical play that we can do with our infant babies to strengthen and enhance that connection in a playful and engaging way.
Touch is the first sense we experience in life and is the last one to leave us when we die. We are tactile, touch seeking beings and we need healthy, positive touch to grow and thrive in our lives. Touch is in short supply in these pandemic times when we need it more than ever so Joanna taks us through playful and creative ways to increase skin-to-skin touch with our children, no matter how old they are
We are parenting under greater pressure than ever in this pandemic lockdown and the signs of this are evident in the drop in our parental energy or stamina. Joanna talks us through how this happens and practical and playful ways to play without even leaving your armchair
Our exam students are under more pressure than ever during a pandemic and in this episode Joanna talks us through how to spot the signs of stress in our exam students and some practical ways to support them through this stress to secure a greater sense of calm and co-regulation with us
In this episode Joanna talks us through creative and playful ways to approach home-based learning during this pandemic lockdown and the good news us, it starts with helping us to go easier on ourselves and focus on our efforts over the outcome
In this episode Joanna highlights the damage we can do if we approach every problem our children or teens have with a fix or change agenda. Joanna wonders what it will be like for us and for our children if we simply bear witness to their struggle and stay with them as they feel their way through it for themselves.
Bedtime is a classic example of a parental want clashing with a child's need...we WANT them to go to sleep and they NEED to wake and check in with us. Joanna breaks down the bedtime battle from both perspectives and suggests playful sleep routines
In this episode Joanna looks at how important relational repair following rupture is in our relationship with our teenagers. Joanna explains this in the context of how we can and need to heal our inner teenager to parent a teenager with practical exercises
Joanna responds to a parents question about what is "normal" behaviour for these tween years and why this stage of developmental can be like walking a parental tightrope
Sexual and gender identity has become more complex, nuanced, rich and inclusive than ever before but this is more than knowing your LGBTQ+ alphabet. Joanna talks to us about parenting in an inclusive and open way while being honest about the limitations of what we know and understand.
This has been a year like no other and this may well be a Christmas like no other but rather than look upon this with sadness Joanna suggests we positively refrained this Christmas as an opportunity to embrace what matters and get back to basics. How about starting new traditions? How about managing the hype in a playful way?
In this episode Joanna explores the relationship between stealing and a sense of entitlement, wondering if entitlement is at the root of stealing. She also explores ways to respond to behaviour like this.
In this episode Joanna explores the function of the dark themes prevalent in so many Teen TV shows has in the lives of our teenagers. Why is it our teens are so drawn to the drama this darkness brings with it...is this good for them and is this darkness really reflective of their lives
Is some degree of anxiety normal in adolescence? How do you recognise what might be a developmentally normal level of anxiety versus something over and above and how do you parent through either of these? In this episode Joanna talks you through adolescence and anxiety and how to parent an anxious teenager and recognise what is normal and what requires intervention.
Emotional fluency is the ability to understand our inner-emotional world and why we might feel like we do in certain situations while developing a language to express this understanding. To encourage emotional fluency in our teenagers, we must nurture an emotional landscape in our homes. In this episode Joanna talks you through how to do this
Adolescence is a time of immense change for both you and your teenager. There are 5 key developmental adjustments that take place and each of these underpins particular behaviours that might be described as "typical teen" behaviours. In this episode Joanna talks you through each of the 5 adjustments along with the adjustments you need to make to parent through them.
Adolescence can be a challenging time but is certainly easier to manage when you break it down into stages. In this episode Joanna talks you through the 3 stages of adolescence; starting with early, then mid and finally late adolescence
BONUS episode: Today is the launch of Joanna's brand new book, 15-Minute Parenting The Teenage Years and to celebrate we are sharing a 15-Minute teaser of the audio book for our podcast listeners. Joanna's 15-Minute Parenting series, published by Thread Books UK is available now from online retailers in print, digital and audio formats or to order through your book store.
In this episode Joanna talks about how risk is an inherent part of our children's development starting in infancy and continuing right through adolescence. Joanna reflects on our own relationship to risk and explores the difference between positive and negative risk taking behaviour.
In this episode Joanna reflects on how the job of parenting is to raise independent adults. This task starts in early childhood and as our children grow up we must grow the opportunities we give them to practice independence. Joanna gives us examples of how and why we might achieve this
In this episode Joanna explores the modern parenting phenomenon of playdates. From managing your children's friendships to disguising babysitting as a playdate, Joanna breaks down what can make or break a successful playdate and wonders if you should be doing them at all
In this episode Joanna talks us through why she is such a fan of boredom and why she thinks the lack of opportunity to be bored could prove detrimental to our children's development
Did you have an imaginary friend as a child or does your child have one? In this episode Joanna breaks down the psychology behind the imaginary friend and talks you through creative and playful ways to welcome the imaginary friend in while containing them within your parental boundaries.
Joanna advocates that nurturing a love of reading is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child. In this episode she talks you through what the developmental benefits are for children in reading but also how reading a bedtime story is a great parent-child activity along with some creative and playful tips to inspire even a reluctant reader
In this episode Joanna talks about the benefits of outdoor play for children. Our children need 1-3 hours of outdoor play each day? Joanna will talk you through why this is and how to create waves of mild, moderate and high levels of activity throughout your child's day
Have you ever felt like you are the one having the tantrums rather than your children? Perhaps you are "snapping" more than you like, or you are feeling more irritable with your children generally. If this describes you or how you feel sometimes, then you may want to consider pausing and completing a Parental Self-Audit. In this episode, Joanna will explain reflecting inwards to parent outwards and how to recharge your parental stamina with some time for you.
In this episode, Joanna talks through the different stages of developmental play. When to expect each stage, how to identify gaps and how to close those gaps - if you need to. Developmental play is language of children. Understanding how and why our children play and how childrens' play develops as a child grows, helps us to build our own play fluency and understand our children better. After all, we were once children too!
Homework: Joanna is not on the fence about her views on homework (not a fan) and talks us through why some children will struggle more than others with it...and let's be honest, some of us parents struggle with it too. She has lots of creative and playful ideas to share.
Understanding Death. Between the ages of 4-6 years old children can become quite fascinated with death, as they learn to understand the concept. An understanding that will develop as they grow emotionally. Joanna talks us through the balance of getting more comfortable talking about uncomfortable topics, and why language matters when spending time with children, playing and talking about this sensitive theme.
Body Image is part of a child's whole self-image and sense of self. Having a good body image helps children to feel confident and to know that there is more to their bodies than how they look. But how do we instil and nurture a healthy body-image in our children? What role does our own relationship play in our children's body image? Joanna will talk you through this topic with practical do's and don'ts to enable you to strengthen and enhance your child's body image as they grow and develop.
Confidence. It is natural for parents to want confident children because we believe in our children and want them to feel about themselves, as we feel about them. However is praising our children enough to instill confidence? In this episode Joanna talks us through the sometimes rocky road to self-confidence and how to recover from the embarrassments that challenge that veneer of confidence. Joanna also works through some creative and play-based solutions to raising confident children.
Covid-19 has introduced some new challenges for parents with children. In this episode, Joanna discusses the possible effects of Covid related social distancing on children. Joanna also explains some play based solutions to help offset any potential impact on a child - due to Covid restrictions.
Friendships Part 2. This episode takes a closer look at challenges that can emerge in children's friendships, especially around that middle childhood phase of pre-teen years. Joanna talks us through what is social exclusion and what is simply growing apart and how to creatively respond to both.
Friendship Part 1. This podcast focuses on younger children and how they develop and grow their friendships. Joanna talks us through the developmental phases of friendship from toddlerhood up to adolescence and how, with rare exception, the best advice for parents is to stay out of their children's friendships.
Joanna asserts that lying is a part of life and that learning to lie is as developmentally important as learning to tell the truth. Joanna talks us through the theory behind why, how, and when children lie and how we can creatively respond to this phase of their development.
In order to be effective, Joanna believes that discipline should aim to teach rather than punish behaviour. Joanna talks you through creative approaches to discipline, supported by her model of less tears and more laughter - because our children need to feel connected while they are being corrected.
How young is too young for screen-time? How long is too long for screen-time? Joanna talks you through the pros and cons of screen-time for children including why it effects some children more than others and how we can build some relational connectivity into screen-time.