Léo's Insights: Recent Episodes
Léo's Insights
I have now told two of my favourite stories about having contests with parents as a teacher. I must admit I can only think of two more episodes where I found myself on the wrong end of parental anger.
The one is very easy to dismiss as a quirk. The only child in the family was promised a brand new Mustang convertible upon his graduation. Unfortunately, this young man believed he could succeed due more to his parents than of actual academic ability. He erroneously thought he could get a few easy credits by taking French. He was a nice kid, but he really did not have what it took to pass French class. In fact, he did dismally. His dad came to the school demanding I give his son a passing grade, which I could not for two good reasons. Firstly, grades are earned, not awarded. Secondly, his grade barely made the 30th percentile; there was much too much distance between where he was and a passing grade. When I refused to change the boy’s grade, the dad very angrily called me a racist, which made no sense as we were all of the same “race”. End of story.
One more story before coming to a conclusion. I cannot remember what led to the confrontation, but I can say the dad was very upset. Once again, I employed my old trick of asking how the parent would have reacted to what the child had done. This time the impact was such that I went from being Mister Bad to the best teacher ever! So much so, this dad went to the principal and insisted I receive merit pay, which I didn’t but I did get a very nice letter of commendation placed in my records.
In every case, when a parent came ready to defend their child, when the question was put to them about how they would have handled the situation, the tables completely turned. When I was eventually transferred from the far-away school, “Bob” started a petition to keep me in that community. What was it that caused parents to sign it? Another associated question, why was I so lonely during parent-teacher interviews? Simple. While I was very strict, I did not fight with my students. Nor did I fight with parents for I knew I was working in loco parentis, meaning I was always serving the parents in helping them to educate their children. Unlike those with extremely long lineups of parents waiting to confront a teacher, I was liked because I was never in competition with parents. They were the boss, not me. Just as you are the boss. Your children’s education is your responsibility.
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Last week I set the stage for a showdown between myself and the chairman of the Board of Trustees for the school at which I worked. During the last class of the day, the chairman’s frustrated son had showed a clear lack of decorum when facing a failing grade on his exam. He was removed from my class and his dad showed up minutes after dismissal.
This dad was clearly upset that his son had been kicked out of my class and he wanted an explanation. The student had accompanied his dad, I presume to watch his dad take me to the cleaners, so to speak. His posture demonstrated that he was expecting something akin to a Roman gladiator taking on a worthy opponent.
When I admitted to having removed the boy from my class, the dad angrily asked why. I asked permission to pose a question of the father before explaining myself. The dad condescendingly agreed so I asked him to put himself in my place as the teacher and then tell me what he would do if his son called him a son of a “b”?
By now the student had noticeably changed his attitude. He knew his dad did not tolerate such language or behaviour. The dad responded, “I’d kill him!” (He really said that!) I responded, “Well, I did not kill him, but I did kick him out of my class.” If looks could kill, that young man was in serious trouble. I somewhat defended him by telling the dad I understood his frustration, but neither dad nor I thought the boy’s reaction was acceptable. I am sure he now thought the same.
To reduce the tension, I suggested that since the boy had disrespected me publicly, he could apologize publicly. It was Friday afternoon. By Monday last class, I had completely forgotten about the incident. Trying to get things going in class, the young man kept interrupting until in desperation he got up, came to the front of the classroom and publicly apologized for having disrespected me the Friday before.
This boy likely never mastered French, but he likely still remembers his French 30 class where he learned a lesson he will not forget.
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I was happy to have a full-time job after a few years of trying to support my family as a supply teacher, even though my new job was an hour’s drive away. I had been offered the job mid-year, as the students had driven the teacher I was replacing nuts. I knew it was a bad scene, but I was not afraid of students and I needed more secure employment.
The students were indeed a bad bunch. There were forty of them, making the class too big, but also too small to split. They had been known as hellions since grade one and were now in grade nine and my responsibility. On top of being punished with having to teach this group Language Arts, most certainly not my strength, I was also tasked with teaching grades seven to twelve French and grade eight Social Studies. It turned out to be the most difficult assignment of my teaching career, but I had those kids tamed in such a short time that I sort of became a celebrity in the community.
Over the years, while most of my students adapted to my strict discipline, there was always one who tested to see if I meant business. One young fellow, easily ten inches taller than me, was the son of the chairman of the school trustees. I am not sure what he had in mind but one day he got up in the grade twelve class and boldly called me a son of a “b”, after discovering he had failed his exam. In a matter of seconds, he found himself out of my classroom. He immediately called his dad to report my misdemeanour and told the principal his dad was coming.
This particular class was the last one at the end of the week. As soon as my students were gone, my ghostly pale principal asked if I had in fact kicked this kid out of class, and, obviously afraid, announced “Bob” was coming. I greatly relieved this poor man when I told him to send “Bob” directly to me. When he arrived, I certainly understood where my young student had gotten his tall stature. Father and son entered my classroom, where the boy sprawled in a front row desk so he could watch his dad rip me apart. It was a good thing I was not intimidated because these two fellas both towered over me.
I know you can hardly wait to hear what transpired during this showdown, but you will have to wait until next time.
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I am likely bragging a bit, but in all my years in the classroom, it was rare to find myself in confrontations with parents. This claim is supported by the fact that I still remember the few I had.
One parent with a grievance did not contact me, nor did he contact the principal. He went directly to the Superintendent who demanded a meeting with the principal, the parent and me the following week. According to the principal, I had been accused of preaching. When I explained to the principal that I had told a disgruntled student his mark was directly related to his effort and that he had simply reaped what he had sown, the principal pounded his desk, exclaiming that was not preaching but common sense.
All day Saturday I was increasingly concerned about this situation with this parent, a farming neighbour from whom we bought a lot of product. Unafraid of and not really trusting the parent, principal and superintendent, I called the dad and asked to meet with him.
When I arrived, the son was anxious to see how his dad would pummel me. When the parent had completed the recitation of his concerns, I simply asked him if his son had explained the entire scenario. The dad asked, “What do you mean?” I then asked if the son had told him how he had caused a terrible scene in the classroom and shown serious disrespect toward me in front of the entire class? At this juncture, the boy suddenly remembered he had chores to do and started leaving the room. His dad yelled for him to sit down and proceeded to ask me in detail what had happened and how it had transpired.
Needless to say, the big meeting got “mysteriously” cancelled Monday morning, much to everyone’s surprise but mine.
There may be a few morals of this story but we will simply focus on the fact that parents do not usually get the entire story from their children. Whether they are home educated or not, there will always be a tendency for children to carefully omit any parts of the story which will implicate them as guilty. Parents need to glean the missing pieces from what they hear from their children, as they will not likely be getting the whole truth when a child is partly or even completely guilty of an offence.
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We often get phone calls from desperate parents wanting to escape a school system that is simply not working for them or their children. This problem can easily be explained with a single word: standards. Likely the biggest reason for failure in the school system is the erroneous belief that standard expectations can be applied to all children, none of whom are standard or average.
In this particular case, the mom had had some degree of success with her older children attending school, but her youngest son was another story. He was 12 years old, functionally illiterate and misbehaving at school. I explained that the misbehaviour was likely not due to her son being a bad boy, but as a survival mechanism in a world in which he did not fit. I also told her that children forced to do something they cannot do, are not ready to do, or are not interested in doing will often result in bad attitudes that are then usually manifested as bad behaviour, especially within an institutional environment.
This young fellow certainly did not lack ability or motivation. Once I ascertained he was a natural fixer of things and had an entrepreneurial bent, I recommend his reading program be based on the local Bargain Finder publication. Mom accepted the suggestion and found that her son could read, especially when it involved something he was interested in.
We watched in amazement as this boy scoured the Buy & Sell papers, bought broken items, fixed them and sold them for a profit; he was barely a teenager. The only complaint we received from the mom was that she was kept very busy driving this young businessman around Calgary so he could procure his potential money makers.
This boy was so good with his hands, he would combine elements to ingeniously create new things. One time, upon our arrival, he insisted on showing us his latest invention, a motorized tricycle created from broken bicycles and powered by an engine he had absconded from the family lawnmower. Needless to say, when mom discovered this slight indiscretion she quickly reminded him he would be in serous trouble with his dad who planned to mow the grass that night.
When children are allowed to be who they are rather than being forced to meet external standards, they will be much happier and will learn what interests them, often with amazing results.
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We had the privilege of working with a family composed of both natural and adopted children. It was a very interesting experience to see the unique family dynamics. While discussing the educational program of the older children, a tiny girl barely a half meter tall came carrying a Bible that could have outweighed her. Her parents informed me that she had learned to read. We naturally assumed this to be a joke, as the girl was only three and a half years old. We were dumbfounded when the girl opened the Bible and articulately read passages from both the Old and New Testaments without tripping over complicated names. This episode of reading lives on as the youngest individual to be fully literate in our experience.
On the other end of this spectrum, we had a dyslexic girl who simply showed no interest in reading. No matter what mom attempted, there was no getting this young lady even to try. I must admit, we were getting a bit nervous regarding our understanding that everyone will eventually learn to read, as this girl was seventeen years old. Then a miracle happened. Her girlfriends were all excited about a teen book series and she wanted to be a part of the excitement. Mom helped her daughter establish basic reading skills within a few months and then she got out of the way. The truth is, when ready, children will learn; more importantly, there has to be a good reason for doing so. Sometimes the only thing separating success from failure is having purpose.
In another time and place, we were working with a boy who clearly was more of a hands-on learner; he had practical technical skills beyond his years. He had a younger brother who was an academic powerhouse. We made an error when we suggested that when the younger boy started learning to read, the older one would also want to, assuming competition to be a factor. Bad idea! While competition may be standard in school settings, it should not be present in a family. When the younger boy started reading, the older boy simply shrugged it off with a good-for-him attitude. The older boy did eventually learn to read, but only because it was necessary to consult his manuals. The moral of this story is not everyone will be super readers. Some read for pleasure and entertainment. Others read for information, when necessary. Both are literate.
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Last week I told the story of the late-blooming boy who demonstrated no interest in learning academic subjects, particularly reading, until much older than the “industry standard” of reading by age six. Once puberty hit and this young fellow began reading, he quickly excelled and became a power reader.
His dad was a successful investment specialist. He had an agreement with his son that he would purchase any book the son wanted (parental reason prevailing), on condition that it would be read cover to cover. The dad then purchased a bookcase that would only house books after they had been fully read and the contents discussed with dad to ensure the son was understanding what he was reading.
When I visited the family after they had moved to a more opulent house, I was taken to the boy’s room where two outstanding things were observed. First was the grandeur of the room itself. It was more than one would expect of a bedroom! The second thing was the number of books, covering a plethora of subjects, on the multitude of bookshelves accumulated over the last four years.
Considering this young fellow had only started reading four years earlier, it was simply amazing how many books he had read in that short time. I can guarantee there is no way a public school student could have read that many books covering such a broad range of topics, even if they had started at the expected age of six.
This young man had extensive knowledge of many things, well beyond his age, and he had learned it without any curriculum, program or test. This was unschooling at its best.
Unschooling is not unlearning. It is simply not schooling, which allowed this fellow to play as a child and seriously learn what interested him as a young man.
Moral? Work with your child. Don’t try to create something of him/her. God already did that. Provide learning opportunities for your child in keeping with his/her gifts, talents and interests. Don’t waste time meeting meaningless and unmeasurable standards imposed by a disconnected education system.
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He was certainly an energetic boy. As he zoomed past his mother and me, I realized this fellow now registered for home education through us was not ready for formal education.
I asked his mother if she thought he was ready and her answer somewhat baffled me. She did not think the lad was ready but she was convinced she should proceed with “schooling” anyway. When I asked her to explain, she said the authorities expected a child to start formal training by age six.
“What authorities?” I asked. She named government and schools. I explained to the mother that since the government had not given birth to her child, she and her husband had greater authority than the government. I further explained that I was the representative of the school and that I was fine with leaving things until the child demonstrated proper readiness.
Although the mother had her reservations, she decided to follow my suggestion not to abuse this young fellow by making him do things he was not ready for. When I returned the following spring, I was very pleased to hear there had been no “schooling” done since my last visit. I applauded the mother’s decision and encouraged her to continue allowing things to happen naturally. She did just that.
All summer and fall there was no formal training. The following spring found the boy still playing and still not interested in much else. The third year was a repeat of unschooling. When I returned in the fall of the fourth year, the boy was still not reading and had little interest in any other subject despite being nearly eleven years old. By now mom was getting nervous, but I assured her she was doing the right thing and that when her son was ready, she would see serious progress.
When I returned the spring of the fourth year, I was stunned to see the young fellow lying on the couch reading Lord Of The Rings! When I asked what was going on, the mother was confused until she realized it had only been a few months since the boy had asked her to teach him to read. Three months later he was constantly immersed in books and serious ones at that!
The moral of this story is very simple. Force children to do what they are not ready to do and you will develop children with a negative attitude about academic learning. Wait until they are ready and they will not only quickly learn, they will excel.
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Every family has its quirks and its outstanding features; its strengths and weaknesses; how it shows up in public and its secrets. Every family is weird in some way. Most children want something different from the family in which they grew up regardless of whether their family was good, bad or ugly.
My dad was a World War Two veteran. The things he was exposed to as a teenaged volunteer marred him for life. His marriage was less than stellar, partially because of his issues and partially because of my mother’s. In retrospect, I believe my father suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Nobody considered just how violently damaged the WW II vets were at the time. As a consequence of his psychological damage, my father was distant even when he was at home. So even though I believe my father loved me, my maternal grandfather played a big role in my upbringing.
As a young man, I had a lot of disagreements with my dad. Maybe it was normal, maybe not, but I could not understand why we had to be so often at odds with each other. I now believe it may have been a consequence of his PTSD. In any case, after a particularly sharp disagreement in the presence of my grandfather, I left the house disturbed by yet another example of disapproval at the hands of my father.
While sitting alone and contemplating what on earth was going on, I was surprised to see my grandpa search me out. He did not say much but what he said changed my entire attitude about my dad. He said: “Parfois ton père est difficile, mais il a un bon coeur” – “Your dad can at times be very difficult, but know that he means well.”
That statement changed my life because it changed my attitude. From that point on, I saw my dad differently because of the important lesson I learned that day: Try not to judge based on what you are experiencing, but rather based on the distinct possibility that you may not know the reason those opposing you are acting the way they are. While it is possible someone may indeed have the intent to harm you, most of the time you are just in the wrong place at the wrong time and it may not actually be you the bad behaviour is directed at even if you are the unfortunate recipient. “There may be something here I do not know, and if I knew it, it could change everything.”
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I must admit this is hard to believe. If I count my first lab assistant job at the University of Saskatchewan, this year marks my fiftieth year as a teacher. So, in celebration of this milestone, I decided to finally record some of the multitude of stories I’ve accumulated over the last half century as my vlog series for the year.
To copy an oft-heard disclaimer on some TV series, these stories are all true, only names have been changed to protect the innocent. Actually, not all these stories involve the innocent. In fact, they almost all involve students guilty of being young human beings learning how to navigate an increasingly complex world. Some of these stories also involve adults, parents in particular.
Everybody loves to hear stories, and stories are told for two main reasons. The first is to entertain. Most people love to hear how you fell in the slough and how embarrassed you were when you came out looking like the jolly green giant! The other reason for storytelling is to teach. Jesus did a lot of storytelling. Sometimes the lesson being taught was easy to grasp, sometimes not. Either way, Jesus used a lot of stories to make His point.
My motivation for creating this story-based vlog series involves both elements of storytelling. I hope to entertain and I hope to extend and apply the lessons learned from each story to unschooling, parenting and family.
I pray these stories bless you all.
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I want to end this year’s vlog series by sharing a bit of ridiculousness that was prevalent when we began our home education journey, oh so many years ago.
I was one of very few certificated teachers home educating his children in the late 1980s. In fact, what made me a real unique creature was that I may have been the only one teaching in a public high school while doing so. This provided me with many opportunities to practice my debating skills on the one hand and to address home education groups, gatherings and conferences on the other.
In the early days of our home education journey, the majority of people truly believed home education meant bringing school methods and expectations home, in an effort to out-perform the school. In fact, nearly everyone simply referred to the process as home schooling. As a consequence of this mistaken mindset, there arose a cult-like belief that one could measure how successfully they were accomplishing their home education program by the level of anxiety and burnout they were experiencing.
I saw this to be of questionable value and wondered if it was a display of virtue signaling. It was as if some were saying, “See how burnt out I am? That is because I am so selflessly dedicated to out-performing the school at home! I really deserve a medal.” While pondering the fallacy of this nonsense, I was asked to speak at the Alberta Home Education Association’s provincial conference. I suggested Dealing With Burnout as my topic, which was readily accepted, as burnout had become a fad within the home education community.
However, it was a trick. I actually didn’t deal with the symptoms of burnout, I went for the cause. I pointed out that if one was burning out, it was not a badge of honour or an indication of superior dedication as much as clear evidence that the parent was doing something wrong. I also pointed out how difficult it would be to have a Ford car operate using Chevrolet parts and so the likely reason people were burning out was that bringing school home and trying to outperform it, not to mention acting the martyr looking for accolades as mom of the year were not working.
You should know there is no competition for mom of the year. There is also no need to beat school at its folly nor to seek public acknowledgement for superior dedication. And there is most certainly no good reason for burnout. Change what you are doing to mitigate the possibility of burnout. Do not emulate a classroom teacher. That doesn’t work. Just love your children as a mom and things will be much more relaxed.
We have moms repeat the word “relax” several times during our initial meeting with new families and often thereafter. If you are stressed out or burnt out in your home education program, it may be time to re-evaluate how you are approaching things. When you find what is not working or what needs to change, discontinue the offending activity!
Relax, have fun as a family. Enjoy your summer… and don’t burn (out)!
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I want to end this year’s vlog series by sharing a bit of ridiculousness that was prevalent when we began our home education journey, oh so many years ago.
I was one of very few certificated teachers home educating his children in the late 1980s. In fact, what made me a real unique creature was that I may have been the only one teaching in a public high school while doing so. This provided me with many opportunities to practice my debating skills on the one hand and to address home education groups, gatherings and conferences on the other.
In the early days of our home education journey, the majority of people truly believed home education meant bringing school methods and expectations home, in an effort to out-perform the school. In fact, nearly everyone simply referred to the process as home schooling. As a consequence of this mistaken mindset, there arose a cult-like belief that one could measure how successfully they were accomplishing their home education program by the level of anxiety and burnout they were experiencing.
I saw this to be of questionable value and wondered if it was a display of virtue signalling. It was as if some were saying, “See how burnt out I am? That is because I am so selflessly dedicated to out-performing the school at home! I really deserve a medal.” While pondering the fallacy of this nonsense, I was asked to speak at the Alberta Home Education Association’s provincial conference. I suggested Dealing With Burnout as my topic, which was readily accepted, as burnout had become a fad within the home education community.
However, it was a trick. I actually didn’t deal with the symptoms of burnout, I went for the cause. I pointed out that if one was burning out, it was not a badge of honour or an indication of superior dedication as much as clear evidence that the parent was doing something wrong. I also pointed out how difficult it would be to have a Ford car operate using Chevrolet parts and so the likely reason people were burning out was that bringing school home and trying to outperform it, not to mention acting the martyr looking for accolades as mom of the year were not working.
You should know there is no competition for mom of the year. There is also no need to beat school at its folly nor to seek public acknowledgement for superior dedication. And there is most certainly no good reason for burnout. Change what you are doing to mitigate the possibility of burnout. Do not emulate a classroom teacher. That doesn’t work. Just love your children as a mom and things will be much more relaxed.
We have moms repeat the word “relax” several times during our initial meeting with new families and often thereafter. If you are stressed out or burnt out in your home education program, it may be time to re-evaluate how you are approaching things. When you find what is not working or what needs to change, discontinue the offending activity!
Relax, have fun as a family. Enjoy your summer… and don’t burn (out)!
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Although ministry is very rewarding when seeing people healed from what ails them, it is also painful as we tend to suffer with those who are suffering. We see a lot of pain every year during our facilitation travels.
Maybe it is because we have friendly faces. Perhaps it is because we are older and people assume we have wisdom. Hopefully, it is because people see the Spirit within. Likely, it is because we are not officially part of the family, nor gossips, so secrets are safe with us. Who knows, but Faye and I seem to be sounding boards for parents in need of sharing family issues, and we have heard plenty of them.
Do not misunderstand what we are saying. We are not complaining; we are honestly telling you that if you experience one of life’s bombs, you are not alone and it is likely not entirely your fault. We have been on both sides of this fence. As young parents, we took a strip off our parents. They deserved it of course, but then again, in retrospect we could have gone about the confrontation in a much better way. Thirty some years later, we were on the receiving end and we didn’t appreciate it any more than our parents likely did.
What we refer to as the bomb is actually part of our humanity. It is targeted at our basic need to be loved and appreciated which leaves us all vulnerable. There is nothing more painful than to be rejected or abandoned by those we love the most. This is especially so when it involves parents, children or spouse. The closer the relationship, the greater the potential for pain.
Considering God will never, ever, ever turn His back on us, we see nothing but darkness and evil when loved ones “bomb” us, and anger when others do as well. We want to lash out, make somebody pay for our pain. Anything to try to reduce the level of discomfort we are experiencing. But it is probably best to do nothing, at least immediately after the bomb has been detonated.
You do not really know what precipitated this most unwelcome action, but it is probably a good guess the problem originates with the individual dropping the bomb. When we bombed our parents, we were experiencing some major financial challenges. I was jobless and we were sleepless with young children. When our children bombed us they were dealing with their own issues and the only common denominator to their unique situations was Faye and me. You could say both our parents and us were actually hit by the shrapnel, but it felt like bombs. This does not make being bombed any easier to accept, but it may prevent us from reacting badly.
Extending the consideration that the bomber may be experiencing some difficult situations in their life should also help us to extend a bit of grace when we are badly treated by strangers, like the grumpy servant, unpleasant colleague or taciturn policeman. Could it be they are having a tough time in their lives and simply passing their discomfort to you? This may not be a bomb, but it could be a cry for help.
Every family will have the opportunity to deal with bombs. That is because of two things. First, we live in a fallen world where bombs exist. Second, if the family is of prime significance to God, the enemy will make it his prime target and let’s face it, he inflicts maximum pain when he can trick those we love the most into being his unwitting agents and accomplices.
Occasionally we find ourselves directly or indirectly in the bombing range and we can end up as collateral damage of someone else’s war. While it is best to avoid such situations, we may find ourselves involved as protectors of the innocent. Child abuse comes to mind. God sees and appreciates having a representative on the scene. However, it is not fun!
Eventually the dust settles and things return to normal, but most likely a new normal. That was the case with our folks, as it was with us. We took the unfortunate incidents to re-evaluate how things needed to change, usually in small ways so we could stay clear of the trip wires that detonated the bomb.
We only want to share this with you so you understand that if you are experiencing the pain of rejection, abandonment or death, you are not alone. Jesus’ last words were “Why have You forsaken me?” He knows what you are going through.
Faye and I have had to endure our share of pain. Every year we witness and/or hear others’ painful stories which often beg the question, “Why?”, to which there sometimes simply is no answer. While we may not understand why bad things happen, we need to reconcile with our situation so we can carry on with the life we have been given. We do this by making sure those people whom God has put in our lives are encouraged through us. This will help to make the pain go away. And remember, there is One who stays closer than a brother, even when others have forgotten just how valuable we are. You are not alone.
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With over thirty years of facilitation under our belt, my wife, Faye, and I have witnessed pretty well everything, both good and bad. We were the very first to visit our assigned families as a couple. This sure turned a lot of heads as it set a new trend. There are still a few couples facilitating today, some working through Education Unlimited.
We have seen a large part of the Province of Alberta and been involved with a number of families of different cultures and religious affiliations.
We have watched as children grow up, move from home, start families and enrol their children with us. In fact, we are not very far from enrolling children from the next generation meaning there is a good chance we will soon see three generations of home educators. Wow!
We have been at this so long, we have graduated from individual visits to family reunions. What a blessing it is to see the “old” folks come to their children’s places and visit with us when we facilitate their grandchildren.
I am sure we could write a book on the adventures we have had while doing what we believe is the best job on earth. In jest, we sometimes refer to our facilitation travels as missionary journeys. I believe we have been on over sixty of them in the course of thirty years, half in the fall and half in the spring. We have come to prefer the spring visits as there is more light to travel in, but often that comes with the price of mud.
During all that time, we have been blessed with the best of cultural cuisine, wild game and decadent desserts. Not only have we been fed, but continuously blessed with a multitude of gifts and we can’t count the number of field trips, fun rides and additional travels our parents took us on to share their lives with us.
We have been blessed beyond measure and description. We have learned a great deal about the wonderful mosaic of people that make up this great province and we have had a big hand in the restoration of familial authority. We have done our best to pass this wisdom to the wonderful folks who we are blessed to have working with us in serving the home educating community of this province.
Why this testimony? Simply to say you should enjoy your facilitator and look forward to their visits. I know we did and the fact that so many came to our 50th celebration leads us to believe the feeling was mutual. It is our hope and prayer that every home educating family would also want to attend an event celebrating the life of their facilitator. Would you go to a special event for yours? I hope so, as this is what we believe a family-facilitator relationship should look like.
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Now that we have reviewed the definition and history of facilitation in Alberta, there remains one more thing to discuss. Do you have the right facilitator to help you through your home education journey? Here are a few general considerations to keep in mind.
First and foremost, you are the boss. I know I have said this ad nauseam, but if you miss this point, you will find yourself being directed rather than directing your home education program. Exercising this authority will help qualify your potential or existing facilitator.
If you are home educating for faith-based reasons, sharing the same worldview perspective is important, but it is not critical. Still, if this is important to you, you should ask without judgement.
It is always a good thing to know the experience and understanding an advisor has before taking advice from them. Again, maybe not critical, but good to know. Even though I believe one should have personally experienced home education as a parent or student through to completion before advising others, I also believe that any teacher can “repent” after realizing why school is not the best place for learning. Knowing what not to do is just as valuable as having correctly done so in the first place. Either way is good experience with which to advise others. Ask your facilitator about their experience with home education. This will help you to better understand their approach and to determine if their reason for facilitating is money or ministry, which I generally define as desiring to help people avoid error.
Having said that, personalities sometime clash, even when two people are coming from the same perspective and heading in the same direction. Perhaps the best measure for determining the “fit” of your facilitator is your reaction to their involvement in your life. If you take the news of their pending visit with trepidation, you likely are not suitably fitted. If you are neither threatened nor excited, you are probably okay. If you look forward to your visit and find yourself encouraged each time you meet, you have a gem worth keeping. You decide. You’re the boss. Is your facilitator the right one for you?
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Many years ago, when I first started facilitating professionally, which means when I started getting paid for facilitating after years of pro bono service to our local school division, my wife and I were assigned a family in Viking, Alberta. When we arrived, we found a lady so nervous her hands were shaking and her complexion was very pale. At first I thought she was being abused by someone, but only she and the children were home. I then began to think she had just finished a very serious phone call or had just left some kind of confrontational meeting.
In spite of her obvious nervousness, I proceeded to ask her questions regarding her home education program and chit chatted with the children. My wife and I did everything to assure the mother she was doing a good job. After a while, the mother settled down and she felt comfortable enough to offer some tea and cookies. We continued to talk about family, children and living outside the standard world as home educators. As we were about to leave, we learned what the problem was at our arrival when the mother asked if that was all there was to our facilitation visit.
When we asked her what she meant, she nearly broke down in tears. She was initially deathly afraid of our visit because of the negative experience she had had with her previous school supervisor. We were baffled by her account of having had to personally do a spelling test to prove to her supervisor that she was educated enough to educate her own children. The story went on to detail the abuse she experienced from this overbearing, self-righteous representative of the government and the school. By the time we left, not only were we encouraged by having helped this mother, but the lady who initially greeted us with deep reservation insisted on giving us each a hug on the way out.
Followup visits were really good as we continued to encourage this lady with the understanding that she was doing a great job and that she, of all people, was the most qualified teacher possible, the one called mom.
I share this story with you to help you gauge if you have the best possible facilitator. As he/she leaves, do you hug your facilitator or do you celebrate the departure? A facilitator should be seen as a friend, not someone you dread.
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Now that you know how the term “facilitator” came into being and why it is largely a made-in-Alberta phenomenon, we will proceed to describe what facilitation entails. But first, let me explain why facilitation is necessary.
Government does not “usually” dole out money without strings attached. While Alberta’s funding of home education is unique and appreciated, there are some provisions that must be met. Although there is the option to simply notify the government and home educate without school supervision and funding, the majority of home educators accept funding and, correspondingly, the obligations that come with it.
Funded home education in Alberta comes with expectations of both parents and sponsoring schools. Parents must agree to have their home education “supervised” and schools must do the supervising. If the school is understanding and amicable toward the home educated, the assigned teacher will be encouraged to work with parents as a facilitator and so will not likely be seen as a threat to them. Should the assigned teacher be more of a school-supporting supervisor he/she will tend to exercise authority over the parents and the home education program.
This means it is very important to know the agency with which you choose to enroll your children. Understanding that the funding provisions for government programs come at a higher rate than for traditional home education or unschooling, there is a simple test to be able to ascertain whether your future assigned teacher will indeed facilitate or supervise.
Assuming you desire maximum autonomy while exercising your parental authority and that you desire to unschool, ask the potential home education provider if it is possible to receive high school government accreditation through their agency. If the answer is yes, find another board. An affirmative answer means the school will likely be pushing you toward better paying government programming, and the assigned supervising teacher will probably be less accommodating of your desires.
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Once private schools were given the right to sponsor home education, yet another new educational phenomenon came into being in Alberta. Most funded private schools knew little about home education, yet were attracted by the possibility of increased income. This is when third party contractors with home education expertise came into being, allowing schools to register the home educating without needing to be directly involved. Home educators now had many more options for enrolling their children, which resulted in spreading the limited numbers across even more schools.
By now, some parents, including ourselves, had come to understand that they had the authority in the education of their children. School supervision took on a different approach through the use of third party contractors who, wanting to appear more home education friendly, started referring to their home education supervisors as facilitators. This did not really change anything except that parents felt they were more in control of their children’s education if someone “facilitated” rather than “supervised” or “assessed” to ensure government expectations were being met.
There were already a few of these third party contractors when we created Education Unlimited in 1999. EU was contracted with a private Christian school for our initial 16 years, then with another for 6 and one more for our last year before we attained our own independent school accreditation in 2022.
Essentially, third party contractors borrowed an accredited school’s authority to enable the enrolment of home educating students, then acted as though they were the school while offering a friendlier service to parents.
Third party contract arrangements eventually became the target of an individual government worker who despised these arrangements and who worked tirelessly to terminate them. As a consequence, there are virtually none of these agencies left. Although some of the original names have survived, like Education Unlimited, these agencies have either become schools themselves, been assimilated by existing schools, or have completely vanished.
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As the home education population of Alberta grew, so did the ways in which schools ascertained the educational progress of these students. As one of the first certificated teachers to be home educating in this province, it was assumed I knew what I was doing. While Faye and I were left alone by our local school board, they sent other families desiring to home educate our way, as they had no idea what to do with these students and families. This resulted in us starting a local home education support group where we “facilitated” at no charge.
Once the home education funding was quartered, it came with a new set of rules appropriately called the Alberta Home Education Regulations which remain largely the same as they were when first presented thirty years ago. Not only was the funding cut to 25% of regular school students, but half was to be made available to parents for the purchase of educational supplies and services. By 1994, home educating families were to be assigned a supervising teacher who was to visit twice per year to direct and evaluate the home education program.
Two things have to be mentioned at this juncture. The first was the nearly ubiquitous belief that it was government, schools and teachers who were responsible for providing acceptable pedagogical programs, methods and standards to all students. This belief was largely accepted by most home educators and it is how the term home schooling originated. It was school in every way, but delivered in the home. Unfortunately, this line of thinking has continued to this day with many home education providers either unwittingly taking advantage of parental ignorance or knowingly manipulating parents into continuing with public programming, which comes at a higher level of funding.
The second point is that the new lower level of funding for the home educated came as a shock to the schools who had attracted large numbers of home educating students. The 75% reduction in funding led the more resourceful school leaders to invent yet another uniquely Alberta phenomenon known then as blended programming, and another even more fraudulent offering called fully aligned. Today, blended programming is known as Shared Responsibility and fully aligned has morphed into online school programming.
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Home education became part of the Alberta educational landscape for the first time with the 1988 School Act, and at this time, non-resident school boards also came into being. We can assume the creation of non-resident school boards was to mitigate the persecution some home educators were experiencing by their local school boards. Now, smaller school boards, mostly separate catholic ones, took the opportunity to expand their student count and corresponding associated funding without affecting their need for more school infrastructure. After all, home educated students did not require classroom space, bussing or other school-based services.
Once the 1988 law was passed, smaller schools started aggressively recruiting the home educated, resulting in free-for-all bidding wars that encouraged parents to “sell” their students to the highest bidder. One can be forgiven for believing schools, and parents, saw students more as a form of income than as intrinsically valuable human beings. Perhaps not everyone got involved in this marketplace of registration (Faye and I didn’t), but it did change the home education landscape in the province, creating divisions that did not previously exist.
By the early 1990s, home education had once again become a bit of a concern to the government, as it observed some school boards engaging in questionable activities to get home educating students registered with their schools. The equal funding level of the home educated with other students made the home educated premium clients, as the costs for providing services to them was much lower than regular students. This led the government to reduce the funding for home education to 25% of regular school students.
Facilitation developed alongside these changes to registration and funding. In the beginning, schools were made responsible for ascertaining that home educators met government expectations. Many insisted that parents report to the school, while some sent school emissaries to inspect the home education programs. Hence, the birth of home education supervisors who would eventually become known as “facilitators”.
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If you were to mention home education facilitation to home educators anywhere other than in Alberta, you are likely to get strange looks. Most have never heard of it. “Home education what?” they ask. “What is it? What does it entail? How is it that teachers come into your home? Isn’t that an affront to the family? Is it not threatening? Do you have a choice?” And a plurality of other queries intent on comprehending what on earth you are talking about. Since home education facilitation is a phenomenon pretty well unique to Alberta, it requires a made-in-Alberta explanation.
As previously stated, home education is legal in most civilized countries and likely the only option in some less civilized ones. Only a few democratic countries oppose and/or outlaw home education. Alberta sets itself apart in the world of education by believing in and advancing educational choice which, by extension, means defending parental authority over the children. At least that is what is being said. This is true, however when it appears untrue, it is usually a consequence of school intransigents rather than government opposition.
Let’s begin with a few rules to explain how facilitation came to be. All Alberta students between the ages of six and sixteen must be enrolled for education. In the beginning, in the 1980s, that meant home educating students had to be registered with local school boards, some of which were ambivalent or even outwardly antagonistic toward these students. And while home educated students were funded at the same level as regular students, nobody understood or knew what to do with them.
The School Act of 1988 introduced a new and foreign concept to the Alberta Education landscape, that of willing non-resident school boards. This allowed home educators who were experiencing antagonism from the local board to find shelter in friendlier, non-resident boards willing to accept responsibility for the “education” of these home-based learners.
Remembering that at this time all students were funded at the same level, what could possibly have motivated non-resident school boards to attract home educating students?
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I once read a saying that says it all! “Education is going from an unconscious to conscious awareness of one’s ignorance.” Perhaps this is a good way to end our series on opposition to home education. You see, the biggest misunderstanding regarding home education is that it is about training children. It is, of course, but that is only the beginning.
We have watched in amazement as parents who did not even speak English became completely fluent and bilingual through teaching their children. We have seen people start to seriously question what life is all about and review their faith convictions as their children have grown to maturity. Concerned and opposing grandparents have become big supporters and defenders of home education.
Persecutors eventually go away, be they government or private agencies; nefariously motivated facilitators or schools; society, family, friends or children. Everybody seems to grow as a consequence of watching children grow. The truth is everybody would have grown in some way anyway, but home education comes with that… shall we say it?…homegrown, common sensical, head screwed on straight characteristic that even naysayers eventually have to admit is attractive.
Yes, you will be persecuted for choosing the right path. This is because there are many who would rather see you go down the wrong one, than to admit error. Keep the two roads in mind. Those who take the wide way find little persecution, and perdition at the end. Those who take the narrow road, go against the grain, suffer much antagonism and persecution, and are rewarded with blessings far greater than can be imagined.
My wife, Faye, and I did not see this in the beginning. Since we were involved in home education at the pioneer stage in this province there was no one to help us to see the pot of gold at the end. We endured, and I must admit I pushed back against my naysayers, but we persisted. We will never regret this most important decision regarding our children’s education, especially as we near the end of the second generation of home educated wonder kids connected to themselves, their family, careers and most importantly, their God.
It does not get better than that. All because I took very seriously the understanding that, as the parent, I was … the boss!
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Now that we have talked about the pushback, opposition, obstacles and other potential persecution one can expect as a consequence of deciding to home educate, let’s look at how to effectively deal with opponents, be they government, third-party agencies, schools, facilitators, family, friends, and/or children.
First, let’s discuss who you are. I believe I have repeated this quite often. You are the boss. Those to whom children are born are the ones responsible for their well-being, including their training and education. You know what you are doing, having true authority, while your opponents will demonstrate ignorance or exercise false authority. Simply put, you are the winner before you even engage in defence of your decision, however, do not defend yourself. Doing so puts your opponents in charge.
Next, let’s understand that while you may be enlightened regarding your decision to home educate, your opponents are not. Advancing your position is a waste of time. Be patient, as with children who do not know better. The absolute best approach to dealing with opponents is to ask questions to help clarify their reason for opposing your decision.
Understanding that he who makes a statement is the one who has to prove it gives you the ability to steer a conversation towards exposing the truth, which should be your ultimate goal rather than simply winning or being right. Having knowledge of the truth is powerful. Abusing truth is unacceptable. Be gentle and have the mind to help whomever the opponent may be to come to their own conclusion through carefully placed questions designed to make them rethink their position.
I have to admit, I have been in more discussions and debates than the average person. I have even found myself in threatening situations, occasional crises, conflicts and all-out wars. However, I can honestly attest to not having recollection of having started any of them. While I have been accused of being combative, it is because we are in a combat started a long time ago in the Garden of Eden. I am not impolite, but I am not a pushover. I stand on the truth, exercise my authority as a representative of the truth, and politely ask questions of my opponents to help them to realize their error. I avoid pointing out the error as this is usually counter productive.
When you face your opponents you should not be defensive as you need not apologize for knowing the truth or having the authority to do what you determine is best for your children. Be confident, ask polite questions to clarify the other’s position, and let truth expose the lies they are advancing. This is simple because you are the boss. Amen.
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It is not uncommon for older children to bear a grudge against their parents for having kept them out of what they perceive as the real world. After all, your decision to do things differently does result in the children being different, which they quickly realize as they venture out into the world. Is this actually a bad thing? Young adults leaving the security of the home and entering the crazy world outside will often be challenged by the fact that they’re different. Lord knows the incredible power of peer pressure.
This is where the proverbial home education rubber meets the road. Students heavily educated in the academics but light on faith are more likely to be swayed by peer pressure. Those heavily influenced by their faith foundation with a fair focus on academics will do better when the world comes to consume them.
Personally, we were accused of child abuse by our children for having kept them from being devoured by a world not one bit interested in their personal well-being. It was difficult, yet we believed that ultimately, our children would come around and appreciate the fact that we had sacrificed much to give them the best foundation possible. Each one of our children experienced their own individual crisis with home education, but in the end, each one has returned to thank us for having chosen to keep them home, protect them from a potentially evil world and prepared them to live within it.
As our home educated grandchildren venture out into the increasingly insane world, we are more than ever convinced of the merits of unschooling, and grateful their parents prevented them from exposure to the crazy wokeness of the day. Our grandchildren also pushed back against their parents but they too have come to appreciate the fact that they were home educated, especially as they are increasingly enlightened to the nonsense their school-educated friends are facing.
Two generations of experience have shown us that home educated children usually grow up to be upstanding citizens with the capacity to question, think and make good decisions. Their ability to question will likely lead them, at some point, to question their parents’ resolve to home educate them. Expect to face this challenge and be prepared to exercise your authority as boss.
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Now that we have addressed the biggest opposers of unschooling within the home education community, let’s address what may be the biggest surprise of all. It is not unusual for home educating children to oppose your resolve to teach them at home. Natural curiosity is usually the impetus for home educated students wanting to go to school, especially if they have not attended and are being influenced by children who are.
Social issues also play a big part in children wanting a change. This is especially so once the children reach puberty, a time when friends become an important element in their lives. This issue can be resolved by offering more activities to enable fellowship outside the school environment, where many unwanted issues are prevalent.
There is also always the age-old idea that one’s parents are not as wise or nice as friends’ parents, meaning children will come to question your decision to teach them. This is also normal and quickly resolved by asking your children how you can be “improved”. Usually, this helps children (usually post-puberty) to realize they have it pretty good.
Although this internal opposition can be very challenging, even hurtful, do not forget why you initially decided to home educate. Reflecting on why will quickly restore the how. You simply exercised your authority in order to prevent the school from having a negative influence on your children. Not that parents are perfect, but they are better suited to train up their children in the way that they should go.
Not every child will mutiny against home education, but if they do, you are still the older, wiser parent. Children should not be given choice before they are truly old enough to understand all the ramifications and consequences. You still have this authority. Just say no… and leave it at that. You’re the boss!
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We have now dealt with a few sources and manifestations of home education persecution. Once you have found your rightful place and authority in the home, there remain two other possible sources of opposition to your plan of doing things your way, at home.
The first bit of testing may actually come from your facilitator. Please rest assured, I am not addressing those who are enrolled with us here at Education Unlimited. Our facilitators are all experienced unschoolers who will be your most faithful supporters. They all recognize that true education is one that escapes school-based ideology and follows the wishes of the parents, meaning they respect parental authority. They come to your home as your friend to encourage and support you, as well as to offer suggestions for improvement. Their motto is “parents are the boss”.
Unfortunately, this is not necessarily the case with other home education providers who may have other ideas and motivations for being engaged in home education. Some may see themselves as having the responsibility of making sure your children are educated in keeping with government expectations. These agencies will hire inexperienced teachers whose only qualification is a teaching certificate. These teachers will exercise authority over parents, as self-appointed education experts.
Other agencies will say and/or do anything to assure your continued enrolment, as your family is seen more as a source of income than an opportunity for service to parents and children. Either way, you will find your resolve to teach your children your way to be challenged or tested. I suggest you stay clear of agencies offering this type of service.
I sometimes test dads’ resolve by telling them they will have to acknowledge my authority as teacher for the duration of my facilitation visit. I love when they tell me I can leave out the door through which I came in! Because, while unschooling can be described in a number of ways, I like defining it as parents reclaiming and exercising their full authority in the training of their children at home.
If you have a facilitator telling you what to do in your home education program, you likely have the wrong person doing the job. There is a simple solution to this problem: FIRE THEM and enroll with the parent-friendly, freedom-advancing Education Unlimited Academy. You’re the boss!
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Eventually, one does get past the opposition to your initial decision to home educate. Those who are really obsessed with you daring to do things differently start slowly backing off as they witness your resolve and, more importantly, see the results of your home education program. Most children are not even aware of the profound impact their freedom from school constraints has on those who believed the only way a child can learn is at school. We can therefore say home education eventually goes into a sort of cruise control once the first few years are completed.
Later on, however, a new wave of opposition may start to occur, as persecution from within the camp begins to take the form of manipulating home educators to do what is in the best interest of the home education provider. This is done through normalizing and/or Christianizing the school-based approach to home education which has the overall effect of diluting or polluting parental authority. Misleading parents by making them believe the only avenue to post-secondary involves government programs may temporarily assure parents of the merits of public programs, but it also assures greater levels of funding for the home education provider. It is difficult to understand how agencies advancing themselves as friends of home education can do this, but not if you “follow the money”.
To be sure, not all agencies which advance school-based approaches to home education do so for self-serving reasons. Many simply do not understand that home education empowers parents to make alternate decisions regarding their children’s education; as such, the agencies simply advance what they know, which is limited to some kind of school program, even if it is delivered at home.
We have heard parents’ pleas for freedom many times over the years – freedom from familial persecution, freedom from unwanted incursions into their familial and academic lives, and freedom from the school-based ideology that was brought home in ignorance. All these forms of bondage undermine the authority of parents. We love hearing “We want to unschool” because at this point, persecution usually stops. By then others recognize that you have the authority to do the right thing. You’re the boss!
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The most common form of persecution coming from outside the homeschooling community is likely from within your inner circle. I am talking about family members who take issue with your decision to educate your children yourself.
This one is usually a shocker. Because home educators tend to be independent critical thinkers, we generally believe family members will applaud our decision to do things differently with our children. This often becomes the biggest obstacle to a peaceful transition from school. Sometimes people who have demonstrated little interest in you or your family surprise you with objections when you choose to educate your children at home.
Most people are threatened by change. When you decide to do something different, it threatens family members who may challenge your thinking and offer their advice. It is very important to understand that most of the time, the people sharing their concerns regarding your educational choices do so with all sincerity. They are usually sincerely concerned about the well-being of your children (most often the case with grandparents), or they sincerely want to stop you from making them feel bad or guilty for not doing the same thing.
I cannot count the number of times we have run into this problem. It is almost a standard consequence of choosing home education. Grandparents will eventually accept your decision, often because of your resolve to do as you have chosen, but also because they will observe your children’s joy and their natural willingness to learn while they grow.
Others may not be as kind, especially if they have wholeheartedly bought into the idea that only government agencies know anything about learning. This is especially problematic when extended family are teachers themselves.
Remember that your decision will challenge those who are not doing as you are, even without you saying a word. No need for talking; those who know you are right will want to shoot the messenger because they know you have made the correct decision while exposing their error. This is especially so for family employed by the education system.
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It is always a good idea to know why you are doing or planning to do something. We are all well acquainted with having habitually done things without ever having questioned why we do so. Most institutions specialize in enforcing the rote repetition of things without encouraging questions or independent thought. School ideology is especially … Continue reading "Why Home Educate? Back to the Basics (Part 2)"
Hello and welcome to the start of the 2023-24 academic year with Education Unlimited Academy. I have been sharing my insights in these vlogs for ten years, now. I initially started this venture at the behest of a few people who wanted to capture my insights for the future generations. Its was indeed an honour … Continue reading "Back to the Basics (Part 1)"
WE were not Christian when WE got married but WE did agree to teach our yet unborn children about God. After five years of marriage, WE committed our lives to the Lord who quickly dealt with an issue that would eventually have caused us grief. He put an end to our marital partnership. Marriage is … Continue reading "Reflections on Marriage, Part 5: Reflections (Part 23)"
Faye was incredulous when she saw me bring the tape recorder to the table as we were engaging in a heated argument over… who knows? Funny how it was important enough to require a not-so-friendly contest, yet not important enough to remember. In any case, as I sat down, I pushed the record button, which … Continue reading "Reflections on Marriage, Part 4: Reflections (Part 22)"
Now that honest communication has been established as foundational, let us move onto some of those rules WE agreed to before committing ourselves eternally to each other.
WE reasoned that if there were rules for real wars (such as the Geneva Convention) WE should have rules for engagement also. WE promised never to fight over three things and WE never have. WE have never battled over MONEY, CHILDREN or EXTENDED FAMILY.
Money fights are rarely resolved so why start? Besides, what is money anyways? If WE had money issues and WE most certainly did have them, WE found new ways to create it. Since WE had determined before starting that this was forbidden territory, money had no power over us, although WE did discover it is better to have it than not! WE started by combining all our resources and WE have operated consistently with joint accounts. I don’t have any money and neither does Faye, but WE do.
Children need consistency. When WE found ourselves on different sides of an issue regarding children, WE dismissed ourselves to privacy where WE could come to agreement. This way the children could not divide us on an issue. Again, even though I can claim WE never had a fight over the children, there were times when WE did make mistakes. When WE did, we admitted our error and apologized to our children for our behaviour.
Extended family is just not worth the effort required to essentially not change anything. Every family is dysfunctional, including our own, so why waste time arguing over people who are not likely to care in the first place?
There were a few more things WE agreed to, like never going to bed angry at each other. WE never did, but there were occasions when WE picked up in the morning from where we left off the night before. WE also agreed to avoid idle or any other threats and to make every effort to be kind and thoughtful. Physical violence was absolutely forbidden and never occurred.
The Lesson**
Sincerely agreeing to adult rules for dealing with adult issues in adult ways is a very good basis on which to conduct a life-long relationship. However, even when doing so, you should still leave room for imperfections.
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I have no idea where statistics come from. Mark Twain is famous for saying there are three types of lies including lies, damn lies and statistics! Either I am surrounded by like-minded individuals or I am completely disconnected from the greater population, but I have a hard time believing only 5% of all marriages make it to fifty years. On the other hand, a lot of people we know are in their second or third marriage, so I suppose they will never see the fifty year mark unless the subsequent marriages were engaged in at a young age and life is very long.
WE did not just agree to get married and work things out. WE actually solved most of our future problems by making sure they did not occur in the first place. WE did a lot of talking about pretty well everything WE could think of at the time. WE verbally drafted agreements, rules and expectations before WE were officially engaged and then got even more serious about how WE would handle potential disagreements.
Without knowing it, WE had stumbled onto the most important elements of a good and long-lasting marriage. WE communicated. Full disclosure, no secrets, no games and absolutely no dishonesty allowed. However, the base element was one of integrity. If either one of us had been insincere in even the smallest way, any minor infection would have ultimately led to major problems. There was no paper contract, not even a handshake. If our words were no good, nothing else would be either.
Communication has to be constant and open. In order to do this, you must spend time together. I realize not everyone has the same privileges I have had, but then again, WE planned our lives around being able to have good options. WE married each other in total commitment. WE went to university and got an education. WE had children. WE built our home. WE taught for years. WE started Education Unlimited. WE saw it grow into a rather successful enterprise. WE had our ups and our downs, but WE were always together. In fact, those two weeks I spent in the hospital in February of 2022 were the longest time WE had ever been apart! WE have been and remain each other’s best friend… and WE talk to each other a lot. WE have been described as the inseparable couple, which WE are.
The Lesson
The more time you spend together, the better the communication will be, which in turn means a more open and honest relationship that can last a lifetime.
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I will never forget that moment. I was sent to the airport to get the bridesmaid for the wedding the next day. I had no picture, no real description, just a flight number. Since I was a taxi driver at the time, I was acquainted with the airport and its busyness, so I went in blindly looking for someone I had never met. And then, there she was! I politely asked if her name was Faye and she responded in the affirmative. My life seemed to change in that moment.
I was struggling at the time. I had completed my two-year NAIT program and could not find meaningful employment. I was lonely for intelligent adult company. Faye had completed her Standard A and was teaching in a remote, small town in southern Saskatchewan. She was also struggling with much the same things as I was. One could say we were attracted by a mutual misery, but that would not be true.
We immediately connected as though we had known each other for years. Before the night was over, I was head over heels. I do not remember much about the wedding the next day, other than the best man was struck dumb by the bridesmaid. I was the best man and that was September 2, 1972. Those of you who escaped “discovery math” will know that is over fifty years ago. Six weeks later, in violation of my romantic nature, I simply asked Faye when we should be married.
I had no doubt Faye would be my life partner. On December 23, 1972, I officially proposed and she officially accepted. We were married on June 30, 1973.
Being married for fifty years provides me a platform from which to share what I believe is the secret to our marital longevity. Now, don’t get me wrong. If I was to say that we have enjoyed fifty years of bliss, you would be correct to doubt it. One does not reach the milestone of sharing a life with another for over fifty years without making mistakes, having to make sacrifices, learning and changing bad habits.
So, here is the First Lesson
We never quit, even when times got tough. There was no room for quitting as that option had been removed before we committed ourselves to forever. We promised and we kept our promise. This rest is history, fifty years worth.
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Isn’t it amazing that such a variety of events as happened to my wife and I, ranging from the very bad to the very good, would actually point to a single thing? In the main, I found everything pointed to God, but when it comes to His presence here on earth, I realized a very important lesson.
The greatest gift God gave us is freedom. For the most part, we are all born free, even if within a totalitarian regime. People are still free to follow, reject or escape, although I imagine this to be difficult in many situations. In fact, totalitarian governments exercise an abusive authority over their citizens precisely to steal their freedom.
Like truth, freedom is best defined as singular. Both words just don’t feel right when pronounced in a plural format. Truths? Freedoms? Truth either is or it is not. Likewise, we either have freedom or we don’t. Note that the convoy of early 2022 was the Freedom, not the Freedoms, Convoy.
This is why I have a certain degree of apprehension when people bring up our Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Not only does the plural form of Freedom bother me, but I am of the opinion Rights and Freedoms are mutually exclusive. Freedom is intrinsic and eternal, given to us by an eternal God who does not take his gifts back. However, the enemy hates freedom and will do whatever he can to steal it from you.
Generally speaking, freedom is not taken away. We surrender our God-given freedoms in exchange for human rights. While God may not change His mind, man can and does. Rights given by man can be taken away. The ridiculousness of the Covid narrative demonstrated how fragile rights are when someone decides to ignore them.
If you are free, you do not need rights. If someone or something is willing to exchange your freedom for rights, do not be shocked when those rights are violated by the very agencies who conferred them. God does not do this. Man does.
The Lesson
Our longing for Freedom demonstrates our innate longing for God. God, being very serious about the totality of freedom, has clearly shown His attributes to us by giving us the freedom to reject Him and even to end our own lives. And, God honours our decisions even when He disagrees or disapproves. As a true freedom fighter, I have to do the same, not only with those with whom I find myself unaligned, but especially regarding the decision of our son and the ongoing saga involving his boys. Ultimately, God’s way is the only way to true freedom which in turn is where you find peace and contentment in times of tribulation.
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No doubt these last two years have been a challenge. When my wife and I look back on what transpired over the last twenty four months, we are struck by the fact that we are still standing, much less doing well. There is absolutely no doubt in our minds that we are but actors in life and that there is much more at play than what meets the eye.
As busy as I was during those two years, I did my best to understand what was happening. However, sometimes there are simply no answers, just mysteries. Other times there is a clear directive that appears as impossible, yet comes to pass. Obtaining our own accreditation comes to mind. Hopeless or impossible situations do eventually get resolved, often requiring more than the people involved. And as long as one is dedicated to serving God with all his/her heart, soul, mind and strength, it is certain the devil will be doing everything possible to frustrate, thwart, delay, kill, steal and destroy.
Come to think of it, there is no value in things accomplished unless there is a price. Worthy accomplishments take time, lots of time. They also require effort. As often stated to my students during my teaching years, “You will get out something close to what you put in”, or put another way, “Nothing in equals nothing out”.
When it comes to doing really big things, a really big effort is required, and most often that means lots of people and Divine intervention. There is no doubt in my mind that this is the story of Education Unlimited.
It started with Faye and I seeing a real need to protect parents from being taken back into the secular, humanistic education system from which they were trying to escape. We knew they had to be reminded over and over again that they were the boss. As we grew, we incorporated fellow believers in this philosophy and ultimately became a fairly big agency that is still advancing the supremacy of God and the authority of parents.
The Lesson
Accomplishing things bigger than oneself requires something bigger than oneself. God will see His enterprise succeed in spite of the multitude of missiles sent to prevent the ministry from fulfilling His goals. Praise the Lord for His faithfulness and may He be truly glorified through the activities of the Education Unlimited Academy.
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I was in no shape to take on weeks of travelling as I recovered from my Covid-related pneumonia so we had to do most of our spring 2022 visits by phone or Zoom. I suppose after having faithfully visited families every fall and spring for decades, I thought we should make an effort to visit once I had mostly recovered from my illness.
My children were pressuring me to slow down and do less facilitation, but I was not in agreement. In fact, visiting families is the best part of this job – absolutely preferable to filling in government mandated paperwork and debating with bureaucrats!
So, we decided to go on a camping meet and greet. It turned out to be a bit of a disappointment. Not that no people came to the event, but there were so few. We were surprised by those who showed up and by those who did not. It is easy to get discouraged by these things unless one keeps in mind that few people abide by the Christian directive to make others more important than oneself. “Others” was the very reason I was given more time on this earth.
Once back from our trip, we hosted the last gathering of the Education Unlimited staff. It was a bittersweet experience where we said farewell to the old Education Unlimited and welcomed the newly accredited Education Unlimited Academy. Essentially, what happened is the old EU was divided into the school branch which Faye and I gifted to the home educators of this province and the IT branch which will continue to supply digital services to EUA.
The Lesson
All good things must come to an end. Our twenty three years as Education Unlimited were rewarding in many ways, despite that we had to deal with school boards that had no understanding of home education, as well as the constant hassles Maria and others like her threw at us. And now the time had come to hand the baton to the “next runner”. We are now in the process of doing just that. Our hope and prayer is that the people now operating the Education Unlimited Academy never lose sight of the reason the EUA exists and that member parents will get involved with EUA as their school.
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Even though I was still very sick when I got home, I was immediately obligated to attend an interview with government agents regarding our accreditation application. I was very blessed to have several colleagues attend with me, which resulted in a positive outcome.
However, my nemesis, Maria, had wasted no time initiating yet another attack. The Maria Event #6 caused the sponsor school to fear for its life! Maria had determined that EU had failed to fulfill its obligations so the school would be penalized. Maria actually threatened to defund the entire EU home education program, which would have had very deep and seriously negative repercussions for everyone. The accusations were serious enough to be escalated to the level of the Assistant Deputy Minister.
Shortly thereafter, we received notice of the success of our accreditation application. This had to be the pinnacle of my nearly fifty year career! We were also awarded full funding in year one, something only the Minister can grant. Eureka! Praise God for His faithfulness.
Nonetheless, the school’s principal was very concerned regarding the most recent Maria incident. This one was very serious and he had no idea what to do. It was ultimately his responsibility to appease the government, as EU was only contracted to take care of the home education program on the school’s behalf. Interestingly, in his plea for help, he mentioned that I was much more combative than he, which was true.
To help solve this setback, I finally asked to be present at the meeting where the government clarified its concerns. Asking a lot of questions clearly showed that there was more to the concerns than respecting the fulfillment of the Home Education Regulations.
This time, I had had enough. It took a week for me to construct a fourteen page letter addressed to the Minster of Education, expressing my deepest concern regarding the excessive and unjustified demands being made of our sponsor school. While I was informed that I had no business writing a letter to the Minister regarding a school matter, I was also told it was very well written and had a significant effect on the entire Department of Education. Little did I know, this effect resulted in Maria’s termination! The seventh and final Maria Event was not a setback. It was a victory for all.
The Lesson
The principal’s observation that I am combative caused me to reflect on my life and reevaluate how I have conducted myself. The word combative means a lot of things, not the least of which is a willingness to engage in fighting. This bothered me at first, as I can honestly tell you I am a peacemaker at heart. I spent a lot of time trying to recollect the many conflicts I have found myself in and for the life of me, I cannot recall a single time I have started a fight. Maybe I have forgotten.
My approach to issues has always been conciliatory, preferring intelligent and reasonable dialogue to resolve problems. However, a lot of people are not that way. While I may not have started any fights, I can also say it has been the rare moment when I have backed down, such as when dealing with narcissists or psychopaths. Had I not had that “combative” characteristic, Education Unlimited would long ago have been buried alongside the other home education providers Maria managed to terminate.
Perhaps we should all be a bit more combative. We should question everything we are being told and stand firm in what we believe. The world would be a much different place if we did so.
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I believed the new year, 2022 would have to be an improvement over the last year of tragedies, failures and disappointments. I had only just met the application deadline for accreditation when I sustained a major head injury followed by headaches beyond description. Although we had hosted a staff gathering in late January, I recall very little of what transpired. A few days later, my very concerned wife took me to emergency, fearing for my life.
That’s how 2022 nearly ended before really getting started. I was diagnosed with a severe case of Covid-19 and clearly told I might not see the morning. The next thing I knew, I was in another hospital and placed in isolation, with the full expectation that I would not recover. I really did not have enough energy or cognizance to care. Besides, what little I can remember, death did not hold anything over me. I was not afraid of departing this damn world. Not after having gone through the worst year of my life and having lost my son. In fact, heaven looked really good.
However, God was not finished with me, or my assigned task was not yet complete, so against many odds, I pulled through. I should mention that my daughter was not entertaining losing her father in addition to having lost her brother so she did get seriously involved in this situation. I credit her with saving my life.
Oh, while I was in the hospital, the fifth Maria Event was initiated, but I could not deal with it, leaving the school in a sorry state.
The Lessons
One cannot exaggerate what one thinks about when knocking on death’s door. Many things did indeed go through my head. I will share a few of the lessons learned through this experience.
As mentioned, if we truly understand salvation, death has no victory and no sting. I was in no way fearful of the possibility of dying.
Education Unlimited had grown immensely over its two decades of operation. Having a natural ability with computer technology, I had created a sophisticated system, but I was the only person who understood it and knew how to run it. Had I died at this time, the EU system would likely have died also. I knew I had to make changes going forward to ensure the ministry would continue.
I had somehow missed the fact that I had aged by over twenty years since the creation of Education Unlimited. This near death experience made me realize I needed to start acting my age!
My recovery was during the freedom convoy and it was truly inspirational to see so many people stand up and say, “Enough!” When I considered how we had come to a place where rights and freedoms meant nothing, I was reminded that the main reason things go sideways is most people believe their own lies, regardless of how this has come to be. When we fail to question what we are being told, we give up critical thinking, honesty and truth seeking. The loss of these virtues will always lead to a loss of freedom.
One other lesson. When one’s mind is cleared of clutter, solutions can be very simple. In most cases, that means letting go and letting God.
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Eventually, we attracted our third school sponsor, once again as D-Day was approaching – where the “D” is the first letter of the word death. It was a last minute arrangement, with little time to get everything lined up. Our sophisticated technological system had to be re-tooled to work with the new school, which was no small task, but even bigger issues came up. Let’s call this Maria Event #3.
Now that we had a committed sponsor, Maria wanted to make the entire enterprise as miserable as possible. She threatened to defund the school over a number of trumped up charges, ending with her disqualifying the use of the Education Unlimited name.
The school representative I was dealing with became so frustrated he reached out to me in a panic. We determined to get the local MLA involved. She contacted the Minister of Education, who interceded by making it clear there would be no penalties for proceeding as planned. She further guaranteed full funding would be in place starting in September, which was a real blessing as the last time we had to switch schools, Maria had withheld funding until January.
By this time, I was so exhausted I was living as an automaton. To further complicate things, we were denied access to our deceased son’s children, a situation that continues to this day.
We barely got our fall facilitation completed when Maria showed up with yet another salvo. By now her vendetta had grown to an obsession and she was not above burying our sponsor school in order to annihilate EU.
Maria Event #4 involved telling the school how they would pay the teachers, a demand far exceeding her purview and jurisdiction. Even though I was in no shape to engage, I had to escalate this contest to her superior, spending days composing a lengthy correspondence in reaction to Maria’s unreasonable requirements. In the end, I won this contest too.
I completed this exercise just before Christmas. More than tired, the news of the passing of my good friend, Ted Byfield, was nearly more than I could handle. However, I still had one more major task to accomplish. Our second application for accreditation was due no later than January 20, 2022.
The Lesson
A gift presented to me years ago by grateful students has a story of two tracks, representing a person walking with the Lord, which diminishes to one set of tracks. The individual asks the Lord why He abandoned him in a time of need, to which the Lord replies that He did not abandon but rather carried the individual during his tough times. That is certainly what was happening to my wife and me. I was completely spent, pushing myself beyond what was reasonable, yet God never abandoned me even when I was no longer cognizant of my own condition.
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Once I determined to suspend our application for accreditation, I set out to find a third sponsor school. I had experience with the machinations of private “Christian” schools, so I offered a substantial amount of money to sponsor us for one year. I knew that would attract the attention of a number of schools, which it did, but it also got the attention of a bureaucrat with whom I had a sordid past.
Maria was in charge of private school accountability. She had developed a habit which placed her dislike of independence and faith on a collision course with the private Christian schools with which she was working. She soon developed a reputation for making increasingly more stringent demands. While nearly every private school is run by well-meaning and sincere individuals, most are largely ignorant of governance mandates, so Maria had them all in fear of violating some regulation which would result in financial clawbacks. She played this fabulously, eventually coming to interject her personal interpretation of the rules to afford her even more power. Maria exercised an ironclad rule over all, except for one experienced, well-informed individual who could not be manipulated, and that was me.
Maria and I had had several contests and show downs over a period of ten years and I am happy to say I won them all. In fact, in many cases she had advanced some conjured up demand that bordered on the absurd, which I felt was unnecessary overreach. I refused to give in to her expectations, choosing instead to follow the actual rules.
When we were fired by our initial school, she worked tirelessly to prevent us from finding another sponsor, succeeding until the last minute. With our second school, she went out of her way to unsuccessfully falsely accuse us of breaking rules. We will summarize all these previous contests as the Initial Maria Events.
Now searching for a third sponsor, Maria did everything she could to prevent us from finding one. Her unprofessional, unethical and immoral fear-mongering of every school board who showed interest in us was outstanding. We had a series of interested schools all change their minds once Maria showed up to “advise” or should I say, warn them. I believe her motivation had become personal. She had a vendetta and wanted me out of her way as the only constant roadblock to her self-proclaimed fiefdom. We will refer to this one as the Maria Event #2.
Frustrated, I called her boss to complain of her bad behaviour. This paid off, for she backed off long enough to allow a school, clearly motivated by the promised money, to step forward to “help”. However, she was not yet done.
The Lesson
Though I may have temporarily lost my faith, God remained faithful, even when a rogue bureaucrat did everything in her power to see us come to an end. I stood against a bully and won a battle, but the war was not over.
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I was on the phone with the Manager of Accreditation and Monitoring when we got the electrifying news of our son’s departure from this world. I was in such shock, I behaved as though nothing had happened and soon contacted this man again to resume our discussion. Having been apprised of my tragic situation, he volunteered to personally help me in applying for accreditation.
The accreditation process is long and convoluted. To make matters worse, we had already been conducting affairs as a de facto school for over two decades, meaning we had developed novel ways of doing things, and making these ways fit a government system was difficult. And, we were applying for accreditation months after the deadline, with only a few months before the start of the next year.
It should come as no surprise, but I completely missed the fact that something or someone must have been behind this accreditation activity. Why was I sent directly to the Manager and not to some lower bureaucrat, and why was anyone entertaining an application long past a well established deadline? Still, the Get-Er-Done Team helped me put together a package that, in my opinion, lacked in many ways, but we did what we needed to do.
My heart was not in this any more. It was broken, bleeding and primarily focussed on the immediate task of taking the next breath. By mid-July, I started questioning the possibility of accreditation in time for the coming fall. Feeling a deep responsibility to the parents, students and staff, I decided not to gamble on acquiring accreditation, suspended our application and sought a third sponsoring school.
The Lesson
I should have realized God wanted us to get our accreditation. In retrospect, I am now convinced that the Minister herself may have been pushing in that direction. I was so distracted by our tragedy and overburdened with tasks associated with our son’s passing, I focussed on what could be seen rather than on what could not and I temporarily lost faith. I forgot God’s ability to turn the impossible into reality.
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Some things just cannot be predicted, yet when they do happen, we often clearly see the signs indicating they would. As good parents, we knew our youngest son was experiencing some extremely difficult things in his life because we were experiencing them with him. We felt his pain, experienced his despair and saw his despondency. When he ended his life, a part of ours died too.
I cannot presume to be able to remember the multitude of lessons learned through this tragic event, but I will try my best to summarize what was learned, starting here and continuing through to the end of this series.
The Lessons
There is no way we could have survived this life-changing event had we not had a strong faith in God. This is not to say we did not have our moments of questioning, even anger, but we at least had the assurance of God’s love and understanding. Even more importantly, we had an intrinsic, heart-felt confidence of our son’s having finally escaped the very worst of human tyranny, into the indescribable love of his Lord and Saviour. This did not change the fact that he was gone and it did not lessen our pain, grief and sorrow, but it did give us the blessed hope that provided the comfort and peace we needed to make it through each moment of every day.
We are social beings and so every decision made by every individual has far-reaching consequences for many. While our son’s passing may have ended his problems, they were actually passed on to those he left behind.
We were very blessed to have so many people reach out to us, consoling and comforting us during this time of intense pain. However, through this experience, I was made aware of a modern day shortfall of the Christian faith. We rightly address Jesus as the Son of God, but we are neglecting the importance of Him also being the Son of Man. When missing this key point, we de-humanize Jesus and diminish his earthly ministry of redemption for mankind to a futuristic hope, disqualifying His daily presence in our lives. This provided little comfort to us as we needed His humanity more than His divinity during this base and guttural experience with life and death. What would have comforted us would have been for someone to remind us that Jesus had also experienced the loss of loved ones during His time on earth.
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The easiest thing to do is quit, yet we all know quitters never win. While I did not carry the burden, I still felt responsible to the many parents and students who had come to believe we would find a solution to the dissolution of our relationship with our former associate school.
We had spent four months preparing our charter school document, failed and now we only had four months until the start of the next school year. Somehow, I still believed we would get our own school authority, although I was now keenly aware a charter school would not be the answer. We had all the excuses for giving up, but we didn’t.
Despite the profound level of disappointment I could have entertained, there was too much to do toward getting our own school. Was this a failure? Sure looked like it. Was this a set back? Yes. Reason to quit? I suppose. Had it been a waste of time? No. Not only was this a learning opportunity which made us wiser going forward, but the document I had created toward obtaining a charter school got the attention of the Department of Education and opened other doors toward our accreditation goal.
I was immediately sent to the school accreditation manager whose task is to vet private school applications before recommending accreditation by the Minister. The interesting thing that escaped me at the time was that we had been sent to this branch of the Education Department over four months past the deadline for application. Clearly, someone wanted to see us succeed! All we had to do was overcome the temptation to allow our circumstances to direct our decisions.
The Lesson
Mountains are big, imposing obstacles that are often placed in our way to discourage us from accomplishing the tasks we are given. We can climb over them, we can negotiate our way around them, or we can simply tell them to get out of the way. That takes faith, but only a mustard seed’s worth, which I believe means just having it in the first place.
We told that mountain to get out of the way and we moved on with renewed vigour and hope for our future.
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After we were dismissed by our associate school chairman, we found ourselves in a familiar predicament. Hundreds of families were looking to us for sponsorship in their home education programs, yet we had no school through which to offer this service.
This time I was clear about what we should do. We had already met the Minister of Education and had described what we were doing. This provided her with an alternative to the status quo public schools and a possible connection to the recently passed Choice in Education Act. As a matter of fact, the Minister saw what we were doing as a potential pilot project.
There was no doubt the time had come for us to apply for our own school. The staff was on board and parents agreed. Everyone who cared about Education Unlimited knew it was the right thing to do. So, we struck up the Get-Er-Done team made up of facilitators, parents, IT people and others who could help toward the establishment of our own school.
I got to work and created a seventy page document to convince the government of the need for a virtual alternative to public/separate/private schools. I bounced parts of this effort off the team to get their feedback and eventually we created a document demonstrating an alternative to what had come to be accepted as normal school. I sent it directly to the Minister of Education, as we had already communicated regarding our recent associate school dismissal.
Then the bombshell! I had made a mistake. I had it in my head that we needed a charter school, as I was truly ashamed of what I had observed with private “Christian” schools. Upon receiving my lengthy document, the Minister sent me to the directors of the charter school accreditation where I was informed that charter schools cannot sponsor home education programs.
I was thunderstruck. Somehow, I had not seen that buried deep in the Education Act. All that work. All that time. All gone to waste. At least that was how it looked. Yet, while I knew this was a major setback, it was not the end. Even though the charter school document did not accomplish what we had originally intended, it demonstrated that we were experienced professionals dedicated to accomplishing the task of getting our own school to better serve our parents.
The Lesson
Always strive for excellence. It will be noticed.
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Continuing with the attempted acquisition of Education Unlimited in early 2021 is necessary to demonstrate other lessons learned. Although there were some misgivings on the part of some staff who thought giving the chairman what he was demanding would appease him and make the problem go away, I could not and stood my ground. Repeated efforts by this “pastor” to dissuade parents from continuing with Education Unlimited and to persuade them to join his school’s largely non-existent home education program ended up alienating the parents who found this activity bewildering.
While Faye and I received a registered letter announcing the termination of our agreement and therefore our association, all Education Unlimited teachers were offered employment with this “new agency”. Our contracts were terminated, our clients were enticed to go with this new regime and EU had nowhere to go at that given moment. It looked hopeless, yet I was not despondent, as life’s most challenging opportunities are often brilliantly disguised as unsolvable problems.
I cannot tell you how many times I felt like screaming regarding this ridiculous situation. I had to constantly remind myself this was not from God. I bit my tongue, broke my pen and bandaged my fingers so I could resist the temptation to react to the pastor’s increasingly bizarre efforts at declaring ownership of EU’s parents, children and the digital powerhouse I had created over the last two decades.
My understanding that any efforts to defend myself or the parents being violated would simply feed this bully’s ego, led me to turn the other cheek. The hand that had repeatedly slapped that cheek ended up withering in the most sensational back-firing I have ever witnessed. However, it still cost me much in grievances and additional work.
The Lesson (Matt. 7:15 & 10:16)
Feeding a bully only encourages him to greater attempts at absurdity. Do not surrender to manipulators. Remember, when there are no players there is no game.
This lesson was required for our future which would ultimately involve even bigger, more unreasonable bullies and higher stakes. God was protecting and preparing us for what was to come.
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Home education documents are essentially parents’ records since they are the ones instructing their children at home, and it is they who have the responsibility for maintaining proper documentation, especially for Education Unlimited’s value-added transcripts. So, the fellow who demanded I provide non-existing documents was inadvertently admitting to not having done his job. He brought the matter to the Chairman of the Board (our associate school’s Pastor) who directed me to deliver the records, as demanded. Since I had limited access to the records that didn’t exist in the first place, the only thing I could do was tell the Chairman I could not do what he was demanding. He heard me say “would not” instead of “could not”, which initiated the deterioration of both our personal and professional relationships.
What started as a minor disagreement escalated to our disassociation with our sponsor school as Education Unlimited’s contract was terminated and all staff were fired. The “pastor”, who had contributed nothing to EU other than sponsoring what we were doing, now declared ownership of all things Education Unlimited, albeit without Léo and Faye.
This attempted takeover ended up in failure as neither staff nor parents were interested in sitting under the leadership of a “pastor” who knew little about home educators and who offered but one childless facilitator with no home education experience. I could have asked, “What could he possibly have been thinking?” But the answer was very obvious: he could not have been thinking at all and I personally believe his motivation was not “pastoral”.
God would not have led us into this ministry only to have it taken over by someone with bad motives. We had been through this before where God had clearly demonstrated His faithfulness and protection so we let God take care of this by putting our trust in Him.
The lesson (James 1: 2-4)
There is nowhere to go when your world is blown up by unreasonable individuals. All common sense is jettisoned when pride blinds vision. When you cannot make sense of nonsense, default to faith. Don’t waste your time trying to improve things that cannot be changed.
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While 2020 was a great year, 2021 started out with a bang. Although it was not a bang from a gun, it felt like a projectile had been hurled our way. However, as the saying goes, we dodged that bullet.
It all started when a disgruntled parent, who most certainly should have known better, got angry at me for failing to do HIS job. He wanted me to deliver transcripts he had contributed nothing toward after deciding to leave Education Unlimited and go with the new option for notification only. I found myself caught in an awkward situation. I would have given this dad the documents he was demanding, but since he had done nothing with our parent-completed transcripts, there was nothing to deliver!
Furthermore, since we were no longer his supervising school, the custodianship of his children’s records were no longer our responsibility. You would think one bearing responsibility for introducing the notification only option would have been better acquainted with all the ramifications associated with it, but that was a bad assumption.
Of greater concern to me was that I had had a good relationship with this fellow. Being much older than he, I had mentored him for years in his home education journey. I had spent a great amount of time counselling him regarding the fraudulent and ineffective nature of the blended program he was engaged in, and I encouraged him to get involved with the provincial home education agency in which he eventually rose to the presidency. I protected him from a hostile take-over attempt by a band of would-be home education, anti-freedom advocates, and I personally got involved in his daughter’s post-secondary woes. For many years, I had valued him as a friend and associate in home education. I could not understand why I was no longer being treated as a friend or colleague and why he extended me neither grace nor understanding after so many years of travelling together philosophically.
This one hurt. There was nothing I could do other than ask him to be reasonable and listen to me, but he wasn’t interested. Maybe this was a consequence of me honestly sharing many misgivings with him when asked for input regarding notification only. God knows why, yet a valued relationship was destroyed.
The Lesson (1 Pet. 5:5)
The people you invest the most into are usually the ones who hurt you the most. That is why family members can inflict major pain.
The inability to admit error is the first step toward being prideful, which in turn often leads to being hurtful. Once there, nothing else matters, not even friendship. It is easy to understand what God means when He claims He is opposed to the proud. Be sure to know that what separates men from men will certainly separate men from God.
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It seemed to come upon us very quickly and by March of 2020, we were all being told to do things none of us were happy about. We complied in the hope of securing health and safety for everyone. Covid-19 was the worst pandemic since the influenza of 1918-20, which we were told, killed nearly 100 million people because they just were not as smart as us. All we had to do was follow the “experts” and it would soon be all over.
Nobody really knew what was happening. We defaulted to doing what we were told, even if the rules seemed to be confusing and constantly changing. We were told it would only require two weeks to flatten the curve. I wondered about this curve as it was nowhere near flattened after two weeks, nor after two months, nor two years for that matter!
If there was a consistency to this pandemic, it was the constant inconsistencies. Politicians flip-flopped, health “professionals” barked orders and changed their minds, and enforcement could be brutal, if not cruel. Actually, there was one thing that was most definitely consistent: FEAR! It was everywhere and it was masterfully used to manipulate the masses in ways not previously seen on such a grandiose and global scale.
The most disconcerting thing to me was the extreme level of oppression which resulted from manipulating people’s fear of Covid-19. Even though I could not claim I knew what was going on, I had no doubt where all this was coming from and it could not be from God. Fear comes straight from hell and I determined I would not be part of a diabolical movement.
Although the fallout of Covid-19 caused upheavals in most everyone’s life, 2020 proved to be quite a good year for us. Not only did our previous personal issues get resolved, but the stay-at-home orders and online programming created a perfect opportunity for the advancement of home education as an alternative to going to school. Things for EU were good, perhaps too good, causing us to secretly wonder how long this peaceful upswing would last. We were soon to find out as 2021 got started.
The Lesson (2 Tim. 1:7)
God is not the author of fear. Fear is the opposite of faith. In fact, they are equal opposites. More faith equals less fear and more fear equals less faith. Anything employing fear is manipulative and authoritarian. Using fear as a measure of what was happening, I saw Covid-19 for what it was.
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While I have been involved in political activities for most of my life, I am not much of a “groupie”. Aside from my serious involvement in the establishment of the Reform Party of Canada a long time ago, I now tend to maintain my memberships in political parties more so I can be in the know of what is happening and influence when opportunity is presented.
While I often communicate with political leaders and government workers, I believe most of my contributions go largely unnoticed, but then again we never really know what effect our efforts actually have. One thing is certain: you won’t have any effect if you do nothing other than complain.
In any event, the conservative movement was badly shaken when the NDP formed the government in Alberta in 2015. I was involved in a few political parties so I could be in on what would eventually become the formation of the United Conservative Party (UCP), which I assumed would end all the internal acrimony within the conservative house. Unfortunately, this supposed uniting of conservative factions was more show than tell.
Frustrated, I had no interest in going to the UCP Annual General Meeting (AGM) after the party replaced the NDP in the 2019 election, so I simply deleted the invitation. As I did this, I felt immediate internal pressure to undelete it, which I ignored, only to be more compelled to do so. I was convinced the Lord wanted me to go that convention. For some reason, my wife was not interested!
For weeks I argued with God about going, but ultimately I went to the AGM in Calgary. I must admit, I initially had a bad attitude about being there, but then “it happened”. In a very large crowd of hustle and bustle, I met the Minister of Education, not once, not twice, but three times! This was nothing short of a miracle. And I was able to make such a positive impression on her that my wife and I were later invited to visit the Minister in her office just weeks before the world was turned upside down by the covid pandemic.
The Lesson (Psalm 3:5-6)
Listen to your heart and when you hear that still, small voice suggesting you reconsider your decision, hear what is being said and obey its guidance. This particular situation set in motion the events which led to Education Unlimited eventually obtaining school accreditation.
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Those of you familiar with the 1994 movie “Forrest Gump” may remember the scene in which Forest says, “It happens” which ends up being preceded with an “Sh”. Maybe this was meant to show bad things happen just as often, if not more often, than good things, and we should all know “it happens” events will occur to us all at some point in our lives.
Those familiar with my wife and I will know that we experienced a number of bad events these past two years. You will remember that 2021 started with major problems with our sponsor school followed by an event of crushing consequence before continuing with even more disasters to make 2021 the worse year my wife and I have ever had to endure. Unfortunately, 2022 didn’t start well either. In fact, it nearly ended before really getting started. More on this, later.
No doubt, these last two years have been awful. What transpired showed me that most problems eventually go away, while some never do. Life’s most challenging opportunities are often brilliantly disguised as unsolvable problems and all end up being learning experiences, whether or not we are aware of it. My personal journey into the abyss of failures and heartbreak provided me many opportunities to rethink, re-evaluate and refresh my outlook on life. There have been more than a few things I formerly cherished or held as truth that have changed. Perhaps this is what it means to gain wisdom.
Reflecting on past events was inspiring to me as I could clearly see Psalm 23’s final statement become personal as His goodness and mercy followed me through all the “happenings” of my life. I hope and pray this vlog series entitled “Reflections” is a blessing to you, not only as it applies to home education, but also as it applies to life in general and in your personal quest for truth.
The Lesson (1 Corinthians 10:13 )
When adding time to tragedy, unfortunate or tragic events end up presenting us with opportunities to learn and grow. I really hope you are teaching this truth to your children, as this world is bound to break each one of their hearts at some time… and likely more than once. Teach them it is not what happens that matters most, but rather the lessons that are learned when “bad stuff” happens, and remember that God promised not to tempt us beyond our ability to endure.
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Life is full of surprises, and not all of them are positive. Although there may be many things that can get our attention, nothing sneaks up on us like time. Everyone has heard older folks say that time goes by fast, but who really believes them, unless of course, you are one of the older ones!
Children have a very limited concept of time, while teens seem to be locked in their own immediate time capsule. While in the twenties, most can only see time as far as the next weekend, and the thirties come with so many responsibilities that time is often blurred. The next thing you know, you are in your forties when your own children reawaken your time consciousness as they embark on creating their own timeline.
Fifty years of living marks the crest of life’s hill, if reaching one hundred years of age is doable. Usually, by this time, children are married and grandchildren become part of your life. However, the freedom of the empty nest leads to the sixties when the countdown to timelessness starts to take serious effect, as more individuals from your cohort move onto eternal destinations. The seventies and beyond bring time for greater reflection on life and living, should that be your nature.
The passage of time certainly changes one’s perspective on life. Increasing in age comes with more opportunity for surprises, many of which will be negative. Failing to learn from those experiences is to miss opportunity for growth. Growing in age should therefore mean growing in wisdom, and wisdom is only obtained when balancing life with faith.
Reflecting on my life, I have come to appreciate the saying on a sticker given to me over thirty years ago as a house warming gift. It says, “I’ve survived damn near everything”. I suppose that was true back then, but it is even more true today as I have had an additional thirty years for “things” to happen. Indeed, lots has happened, ranging from the very good to the extremely bad. Miraculously and thanks to God, I am still here to share the lessons I’ve learned through those experiences.
The Lesson (John 14:6)
Unless you have a solid foundation upon which to build your life, time’s negative missiles will knock your house down. Build your house (life) upon the solid foundation of faith in Jesus Christ. He knows how the temporal years on this earth can be and how to best prepare for the ultimate eternal.
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Regardless of how you view and/or celebrate Christmas, or not, let’s include the rest of the year’s celebrations in this message.
I doubt Jesus was born on December 25th. We know where he was born, and ultimately we know why. We can imagine how he was born, as he came through normal channels, but we do not know exactly when. Still, for the sake of argument, let’s say we celebrate the birth of Christ at this time of year.
Two followup celebrations take place in February: Valentine’s Day, when we celebrate love, which the Apostle John tells us is the essence of God, and Family Day, when we celebrate God’s nuclear unit of life.
Sometime in March or April, we remember Jesus’s death, followed by the greatest celebration of all, Easter, Christ’s resurrection from the dead.
In May, we celebrate Mother’s Day. Father’s Day comes in June. On July 1, we celebrate the formation of this great country and our earthly home. August sees us celebrate a holiday that varies from place to place, so we can assume we are generally celebrating a bit of extra summer fun, as we are sure to soon see summer give way to colder weather.
In September, what used to be a holiday celebrating the contribution of labourers has now become a celebration of the Province of Alberta for those of us fortunate enough to be living within its borders. Both are cause to celebrate.
October brings us a day when we give thanks for all we have and likely take for granted.
In November we remember what others have done so we can have the freedoms we have. And then we are back to December and Christmas.
It does appear as though we are always celebrating something, but do we stop to ask why we should and where all this celebration comes from? Have you ever considered all those celebrations actually point to God?
We are now celebrating God’s coming to this world as a man (Christmas) to demonstrate how much love (Valentine’s Day) God has for us. So much so that He died for us on the cross (Good Friday), only to be resurrected from the dead (Easter). I personally believe this to be the greatest celebration of all, as it initiated our salvation.
God created us male (Father’s Day) and female (Mother’s Day) and encouraged us to multiply and create the central focus of his love (Family Day). He provided us with a “Home and Native Land” (Canada Day), time to enjoy it (August long!) and work (Labour day) within it (Alberta Day). We then take time to be thankful for all that He has provided and done for us (Thanksgiving) and to remember that it has all come at a great price both to himself and to those men and women who have sacrificed to provide us with the freedom and opportunities we have (Remembrance Day).
This Christmas, why don’t we take the time to see that none of these holidays could have any meaning without God who so loved this world that He sent His only begotten son. We are not just celebrating the birth of this saviour, but the life and freedom that came through this greatest act of love, and all the abundance we tend to take for granted when we forget where it all started.
Merry Christmas, or should I say Merry Life… And celebrate home education as part of “Whosoever the Son of Man sets free shall be free indeed”.
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We all face having to make decisions every day. While most decisions are inconsequential, some are very serious, as the consequences could affect others well into the future, particularly in regards to children. It makes no real difference whether you make a peanut butter or jam sandwich or both for that matter, and the colour of your socks will hardly be noticed, unless of course it is different on each foot. But something like deciding to home educate will have far reaching consequences.
Deciding to home educate is a very big decision that will put you in conflict with status quo expectations. However, please remember that if everyone does the same, everyone gets the same. More importantly, the only way to make a difference in this world is to be different. While having different coloured socks may attract attention (our PM comes to mind), home education influences the future by producing adults who think differently from those who followed school, cookie-cutter, think-alike programming.
We all want to be different. That is because we intrinsically know, deep down in our hearts, that we are indeed fully and completely unique. In fact, considering our world has nearly eight billion people and everyone is different causes me to truly admire the incredible wisdom of God. Why would believers ever consider making all their children the same by sending them to be homogenized in a world institution? This escapes me until I remind myself that thinking alike is the objective and purpose of all enemies of God.
Home educating is the only possibility to fully celebrate the individual nature of each child. I should say almost fully, as even when at home, our children will be exposed to and tempted to adapt with conformity. While we all desire to be free individuals, we are also fearful of being different because it comes with a cost. The pressure to conform will aways be there, but we have the most powerful arsenal against it: our faith in something bigger than a world demanding conformity.
In the end, the biggest gift, the most lasting encouragement and eternal directive we can give anybody is the ability to be comfortable with who they are as individuals. In home education, we offer our children the freedom to soar with their strengths as they learn to manage their weaknesses. This can only happen within the loving environment created especially by God for this very purpose, namely the home.
While there may be many compelling reasons to educate your children at home, none is greater than the privilege of directing your children to be comfortable with who God created and to want to extend this comfort and corresponding freedom to others.
That is ultimately why you chose home education, even if you may not have considered it. I say this because it was love for your children and their future well-being that compelled you to home educate. That love can only be translated as desiring what is best for them, and that is best described as being comfortable with who they are and how they can best influence a world spinning out of control.
Invest heavily in this future. Keep your children home until they are truly ready to take on the world instead of being part of its problems.
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Now that we have dealt with the urban legend of having to possess a high school diploma and government transcript or die, it may be necessary to explain why this lie is perpetuated in the first place and what is actually needed instead of the standard expectation.
It should not come as much of a surprise that the main motivation behind advancing the diploma is largely based on funding. The government provides greater funding for public programming. Why would a government do this if not to maximize the usage of its programming, which you should understand is not going to advance God’s kingdom as much as its own.
Now that it is clear that the government intends to maximize its “programming”, schools of every kind will be encouraged to advance government programs to increase their income. People have generally been indoctrinated into believing only the government knows what is best for children or that only government certified citizens are qualified to move ahead in life. These beliefs will quickly capitulate to the “you must have government approved credits, diploma and transcript” narrative. Most schools are more than willing to take advantage of the misinformed if it means more income.
It is easy to dismiss something, but it comes with a requirement to offer an alternative to what is being condemned. A non-government approved education is still an education, perhaps even a superior one based on the simple fact that it will be different from everyone else’s.
Here is some practical advice:
• Don’t focus on the standard, accepted approach,
• Forget about subjects and grades and focus on skills in keeping with the innate gifts, talents and abilities of each child, including:
◦ effective communication skills such as reading, writing, speaking and listening,
◦ practical math skills for most, and advanced math skills for those who can,
◦ basic computer skills, as the future of this world will be increasingly digital,
◦ a basic, general understanding of science, particularly as it applies to the interests of the child,
◦ a reasonable understanding of the political world, and
◦ specialty training in the fields of interest.
• Trust that as the parent, you are the best “educator” for your child and will do all that is possible to properly prepare them for their future.
Bear in mind that unlike a school setting, the home is where a student’s true talents and interests can direct their learning program, which means that the home educated should never be in the position of wanting to go to college to find themselves. This is because children kept at home and allowed to grow and mature in the loving and accepting environment of the home do not end up lost, but are generally comfortable with who they are and content to let time and God direct them into their futures. School students will eventually get there too. It is just that the school system makes it a long process because more time means more money for the school.
We should always be more focussed on a child’s well being, not the school’s.
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Most likely the biggest, most fearful consequence associated with home education is the potential for sabotaging a child’s future possibilities. As I mentioned in a previous blog, “there will be consequences” for choosing home education, and again, you are probably hearing “that you will not like”. At least that is what the entire world seems to be saying – loud and clear!
Let’s begin by answering the question about whether or not a child’s future will be handicapped by home education.
NO, you are not potentially ruining your child’s future. Should they go to high school, and that is most definitely not recommended, they will have no problem integrating into their studies.
More to the point, do students need a high school diploma?
Once again the answer is NO! Students who complete their secondary (high school) education through home education are not restricted when transitioning to the post-secondary level, whether they go to work, start a business, register for a trade or go to college or university.
There are very few places that ask applicants if they have a diploma and even fewer that ask to see it. Students who complete their secondary studies at home not only have a grade twelve equivalence, but are most likely beyond most of their school-attending peers for two reasons: Firstly, home education programming is often much more stringent than school programming and secondly, when the program is tailored to the individual child, useless or irrelevant subjects and topics are not wasting the student’s time so they are generally finished their secondary studies by the time they get their driver’s licence at age sixteen.
On the question of accreditation and transcripts, one has to understand that accreditation simply means “government approved” and that the transcript is only a list of what has been studied and how well the student has done. If you are comfortable with that, then seek it. However, if you know what is actually going on in schools, you will have good reason not to. If one replaces the word “accreditation” with “proficiency”, the only requirement becomes showing a reasonable skill level in certain subjects. This is easily done, but a topic for another time.
A good transcript of what has been studied is all that is required. The difference between a government transcript and a personal transcript is accuracy. All government transcripts list the same subjects and applicable marks, forcing admissions personnel to compare marks. A personal transcript also lists subjects and grades, but it is further individualized so admissions personnel can compare individuals when searching for the best candidate for acceptance.
At Education Unlimited our slogan is, “A vision for home education and beyond”. Beyond home education lies unschooling, which really is the way to get beyond the classical, meaningless high school diploma.
Do I need a diploma, you may ask? No. Going beyond home education means going beyond the diploma. The world may say that is risky, but going beyond the diploma actually outsmarts an antiquated system no longer relevant in this modern and the child’s future world.
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Let me mention two important advantages and long-term consequences of learning at home. Remember, there are always exceptions so keep the words “should”, “could” and “usually” in mind. The first advantage of home education is improved family dynamics. Siblings who grow up together become each other’s best friends. While there will always be contests between … Continue reading "Long-Term Consequences of Choosing Home Education: Choices (Part 12)"
Every decision comes with consequences. Unfortunately, the word consequences has taken on a negative meaning. We have all heard the warning “there will be consequences” and we have all heard the unspoken “that you will not like”. Truth is, consequences are directly related to the decision. Therefore, if bad decisions usually result in bad consequences, … Continue reading "Short-Term Consequences of Choosing Home Education: Choices (Part 11)"
While choices abound for the why’s, how’s, when’s, where’s and what’s of home education, there are other decisions that must be made to ensure a sound foundation upon which to conduct your educational efforts. One of the biggest reasons families fail to continue a home education program is because their house is out of order. … Continue reading "More Decisions – Family Structure? Choices (Part 10)"
I met my wife a half century ago. That day changed my life forever. What did I see? What caught my attention? What was it that made me say this is the girl for me? We were both swept off our feet and for good reason. It did not take long before we started planning … Continue reading "More Decisions – Why? Choices (Part 9)"
Where to home educate is quite likely answered with a “duh”, but allow me to expand a bit. The simple answer is home education takes place at home as opposed to at school. However, while it may be easy to describe a school setting, home is a bit more difficult to pin down. It is … Continue reading "More Decisions – Where? Choices (Part 8)"
When should we do “school”? This could be the shortest blog in history! Follow a schedule that works for your family. Amen. We have seen everything from rigid schedules that start precisely at 9:00 AM (not 9:05) and go until 12:00 PM (not 11:50) with a fifteen minute break to virtually no schedule of any … Continue reading "More Decisions – When? Choices (Part 7)"
We didn’t know better and there was very little available at the time. Thirty-five years ago, there were but a few well established school curricula that could be used at home. All were based on school ideology and methodology, even if coming from a “Christian” perspective. Still, we determined to keep it as close to … Continue reading "More Decisions – What Curriculum? Choices (Part 6)"
Now that you have decided to home educate and a sponsoring school has been chosen, there remain yet more decisions to be made. I remember when my wife and I first determined to bring our children home for their “schooling”. Though we knew the school system was not meeting our children’s needs, we brought the … Continue reading "More Decisions – How? Choices (Part 5)"
Have you ever made a bad decision? I certainly have. However, I do believe it is better to take the risk of making a bad decision than not to make any decision at all. I made a bad decision several years ago while enjoying a bit of warm winter weather in California. I could see … Continue reading "Who Should I Register With for Home Education? Choices (Part 4)"
Talk about failure! Every time I am informed a family is leaving Education Unlimited for another option, I am tempted to think we have done something wrong or failed to properly enable, equip and encourage them. People are certainly free to choose the option that works best for them. Our job has never been … Continue reading "So, What’s The Attraction? Choices (Part 3)"
The fact that I became a public school teacher many years ago is somewhat of a miracle. I always liked learning, but I never really liked school, particularly not grade school. How did I end up working in a place like that? I never aspired to be a school teacher, that’s for sure, but I … Continue reading "A Big Decision – Where Should Your Children be Educated? Choices (Part 2)"
The other day, my wife, Faye and I decided to take a break from our increasingly busy workload to go to an outdoor music event. Strangely, we could not decide when to head out, and once we got there the indecision continued. Where to sit? What to eat? What to drink? Sit alone or with … Continue reading "Decisions, Decisions! Choices (Part 1)"
I don’t want to say this but this has been an awful year. Actually, the last two years have been very trying. However, it’s all been worthwhile because of the establishment of the Education Unlimited Academy. This new development is the pinnacle of my entire career as an educator. I cannot hide my glee with … Continue reading "Embarking On A New Venture: Part 4 – Have a Good Summer"
Most true believers know there is a reward for faithfulness, but most believe this is only obtained when we get to heaven. I am convinced this is true, but I also believe that in this world, you reap what you sow. Unfortunately this is too often quoted when people who are making bad decisions are … Continue reading "Embarking On A New Venture: Part 3 – A Miracle"
Last week, I shared about my long and continuing career in education. Today, I want to focus on how Education Unlimited came to be. You will remember that a bad experience in my daughter’s school prompted my wife and I to reconsider what we had unquestioningly accepted as the only way to train and teach … Continue reading "Embarking On A New Venture: Part 2 – Education Unlimited Explained"
Yes, we are engaged in a new venture. Perhaps even my final big venture. This is certainly my biggest venture and most likely to be a really exciting adventure. This could be the culmination of my career in education, but God only knows that for certain. Before I get into what this new venture is, … Continue reading "Embarking On A New Venture: Part 1 – Some History"
In the last few blogs, I discussed how simple life can be when we choose to serve God rather than man and prioritize our lives to include God, family and friends. I then went on to show how we end up being directed in life by things we believe to be true, but we end … Continue reading "Lessons Learned (Part 4)"
A few years ago, I heard some sound wisdom while helping a friend at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. This is a place were you will find no pretensions. Everyone is genuine and sincere. All understand that they fall short of the glory of God. At this gathering, people shared their sad stories without fear of … Continue reading "Lessons Learned (Part 3)"
I ended my last blog by questioning how we have complicated our lives such that we have lost our focus on God, family and friends? I spoke of our busyness and how we unquestioningly accept and believe what we are told. How does this happen? Perhaps it is best to start by going back to … Continue reading "Lessons Learned (Part 2)"
Continuing with my recent return to blogging, I would like to share the lessons I learned while flitting in and out of consciousness during my struggle with Covid. Before I begin, I must share that most of what occupied my thoughts at the time made no sense at all. Repeating that I have enjoyed Divine … Continue reading "Lessons Learned (Part 1)"
For those of you who have been faithfully following my blogs, you may have noticed they ended abruptly and inexplicably at the end of January (2022). In a most incredible case of irony, something happened to test the very statements I had made in my last blog when I questioned what one might be thinking … Continue reading "Restart on Blogs"
Most of us are glad to have seen 2021 fade into history. It was certainly filled with many disappointments, frustrations and discouragement, not to mention deep sorrow and grief for our family, as well as for many others. Our bad year ended in yet more sorrow as we suffered the tragic loss of my dear … Continue reading "What Matters and Why It Is Important: Relationships (Part 3)"
Last time, I announced the passing of Edward Bartlett Byfield. Ted was a journalist at heart, but he was also a teacher, a historian and a political pundit responsible for coining the phrase “the west wants in”. This became the rallying cry of the western-based Reform movement which eventually led to Stephen Harper’s nine years … Continue reading "One Byfield Legacy: Relationships (Part 2)"
I may have completed the last blog a bit early! It was entitled Goodbye 2021 and was a review of how awful 2021 was for many of us, particularly Faye and me. I assumed the remaining two weeks of 2021 would be less disappointing, but that was not the case. 2021 ended with yet another … Continue reading "Ted Byfield is Gone: Relationships (Part 1)"
As we near the end of this tumultuous year, I would like to provide an update on our corporate and personal state of affairs. I apologize in advance for the length of this blog. I want to be clear before I proceed that I am not sharing this personal information with you to get sympathy. … Continue reading "Goodbye 2021!"
I want to end this series on freedom by digging deeply into a very big question I have grappled with for years. We all have deep questions which most often cannot be answered, like “Who created God?” or “Where did God come from?” These are questions referred to as metaphysical questions, or questions that extend … Continue reading "Dipping Deeply Into Freedom: Freedom (Part 9)"
Throughout this series, I have consistently defined freedom as having both choice and control. I stated that the more one has freedom, the less one has fear, which in turn means having a greater sense of peace. I also mentioned that being ignorant of the truth is often what leads to fear and loss of … Continue reading "Freedom’s Definition Expanded: Freedom (Part 8)"
Edmond Burke has often been credited for saying, “All that needs happen for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing.” There is a lot of truth to this statement.
Even though freedom is God given and inalienable, there are a lot of opposing forces at work to rob us of these freedoms.
To start, it is important to understand that most people in a democratic society are tricked into surrendering their freedoms in exchange for rights. We have already discussed that while God’s freedom is unchanging, it can be taken away or given away in exchange for rights. What most people do not understand is that this is a matter of who is in authority. While we are in possession of our freedom, we stand in the authority given to us by God. When we acquiesce to others claiming this authority, we deny our autonomy and embrace the claims of others as legitimate.
In my world, there are a number of individuals and agencies that claim authority in education that I do not acknowledge as legitimate, yet need to seriously consider. The government claiming to having a better understanding of what children need to learn comes immediately to mind. Just how much authority is exercised by the government is directly proportional to how much parents are willing to give it. This is where freedom is challenged, and unless parents stand up and defend their own authority and freedom, the issue devolves into bondage.
This was clearly shown in November of this year (2021) when the gubernatorial election was conducted in Virginia, USA. The incumbent was adamant that government and teachers know better than parents what children should learn, going so far as to say parents need not know what is being taught to children in schools.
Although this may be an American example, this also applies to schools in Canada. Do parents know what is happening in schools? Are they aware of what their children are being taught? No doubt, the Covid-related, online learning boom showed many parents what was going on behind school doors, but other than a few easily dismissed complaints, did parents band together to demand a say in what is being taught? Not really.
On another front, I have to deal with a particular bureaucrat who has a history of taking her “authority” to new levels. This lady’s job description has grown with time and has come to include forays into jurisdictions that are completely out of her purview or job description. She got there through incremental steps which were not questioned but rather validated as schools acquiesced to her demands.
Whether it is a rogue bureaucrat, or renegade teachers or school systems, the only thing needed for the continuing breach of boundaries is for parents and/or people to simply do nothing, say okay and bend to the demands being made. This is the perfect formula for the loss of freedom and it is, unfortunately, taking place all too often.
Freedom is worth fighting for. It does not need to involve guns as in military wars, but it does require vigilance and people pushing back when they see freedom being challenged.
Oh, by the way, the governor who made those absurd claims about parents not having the right to know what their children are learning in school was soundly defeated by a man who defends parental rights.
Maybe it is time for Canadians to find and support an equally sensible politician.
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We all desire to be free, even if we don’t think about it much. We are born free, even when born in a despotic or dysfunctional society. Freedom is a given. It is a gift. It is what actually defines us as human beings. However, freedom can be taken from us, either by force or insidiously through coercion and manipulation – big words that mean we can be tricked into giving up our natural born freedoms.
I have always questioned the authenticity and practicality of Canada’s Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Not that I disagree with having something in place to protect us from government overreach, but I question how “rights” and “freedoms” can be included in a single document. If we are born free, how it is that we need rights? Could it be that we are tricked into believing the God-given freedoms granted us at birth are protected when exchanged for government- or man-given rights?
Animals have decision making powers, but they are limited in keeping with how they were created or programmed. Blue Jays are free to do what they want, but only within the limited realm of being a Blue Jay. Humans are the only beings that are free to choose within a moral framework that allows them to do good or evil. This is not to say a cat cannot do evil; it does not know better, which is not true of human beings.
The capacity for doing evil allows humans to inflict harm on others. I believe that short of taking another’s physical life, the taking of another’s freedom is one of the most evil activities. This is because taking another’s freedom is to rob him/her of life without killing him/her. At least, that is the idea because those who would rob others of freedom are not benefitted when the victim dies.
Consider that to be in control of anything, there has to be something to control. Biologists understand this form of relationship as parasitism. The parasite sucks life and nutrients from the host, but it is not in the best interest of the parasite to kill the host. The same can be said of those desiring to control people by taking away their freedom.
I have never been one who believed it was acceptable practice to pinion birds to prevent them from flying. To rob anything of freedom in order to benefit ourselves should be seriously evaluated as far as what it costs the victim. There are creatures that seem to be happy while being limited in freedom, however that is because there is no good way of ascertaining whether or not they are content with being incarcerated.
The same can be said for human beings. There are many folks who are completely under the control of others but appear to be okay with that. Is this because they are consciously content with being robbed of freedom or simply completely unaware of what life could be like outside the familiarity of being under someone else’s control? I suspect that with the percentages of people not only agreeing to come under someone else’s authority but actually defending the normality of such, most are not aware of exactly what has been sacrificed for the “privilege” of being in bondage!
Let me end this with a story about a bird that had always been in a cage. When I asked the owner if he ever let the bird out, he responded, “Never.” However, he was intrigued by what the bird would do if the door to the cage was left open. At first the bird was perplexed, but eventually made its way out of the cage to the top. From there, it could have easily flown freely around the house, yet it chose to return to the familiarity of the cage.
Likewise, many people are more comfortable to remain in the familiarity of bondage rather than risk the unknown realities of freedom. They are content with not having freedom which, in a way, is to be free, but they are not free indeed, which is what God created us to be.
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Freedom is having choice and control. If either is missing, you are not free and you are likely living in fear regarding the issue at hand. When fear is present, there is no peace. And we all know how peace often eludes us because life seems to provide everybody with challenges to keep peace at a minimum in our lives. This is largely done by restricting freedom.
I ended last week’s blog with a statement that likely caused a bit of consternation or confusion. I said that the greatest threat to peace in your home education program, or your life for that matter, is you. Let me explain, but before I do, let me be clear: this is not to lay blame and it is certainly not intended to fan the flames of guilt.
Everyone is their own worst enemy because we all make bad decisions. Why do people make bad decisions? It is rooted in a chronic, universal “pandemic” called ignorance. Although this word is often used to disparage people, it is not a bad word. It is actually a description of reality. We are ignorant because we just don’t know; we are “ignorant of the facts”.
People generally desire to make the best decisions based on the information they have. If this information is incomplete or in error, the decisions based on it will be questionable. Nobody knows it all, though there most certainly are some who seem to have missed that memo. Our job is to do what is necessary to be truthfully informed before making important decisions.
It is important to know that most of us have limited knowledge regarding most things, home education being no different. Since we have pretty well all gone to school and since that “system of learning” is the only option generally being advanced, most everyone is making decisions based on this limited experience and knowledge.
In the Bible, Hosea 4:1 says, “My people perish for lack of knowledge.” Lacking knowledge is what makes each of us our own biggest obstacle in life. To not seriously search for truth and knowledge is what leads us to perish in our resolve to do the best things.
If we never question the information we are receiving as possibly being in error, we are likely to fall for anything. No doubt, there have been many opportunities to see this of late, with each side of the polarized camps taking their position based on limited knowledge of the issues at hand.
Home education is no different. People’s stances on it range from total opposition to what some would see as fanatical, all of which is based on what information is known and understood. It should come as no surprise that many folks act purely in ignorance of what is involved with universal government schooling and thus see all educational options as simply extensions of this system, without making any effort to question its validity.
With a limited knowledge of what education is and the belief that the government knows what’s best for children, many people try homeschooling and then simply send their children back to school. After all, the normalization of government educational practices is the best information they have.
Do you want to be free? Fearless? At peace with yourself? Find the truth about your choices and be in control of those choices. There are no guarantees in life, but making the right choices while being in control will lead to less fear and more peace. However, do not lose heart if you are not in a constant state of peace. Be content with the knowledge that there is more peace in home education because home is where God intended children to be trained.
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So far, we have discussed how freedom is having choice and control and that freedom only exists when there is no fear. Today, I want to show you how being free of fear leads to being at peace with oneself and the world.
Before I proceed, I want to be abundantly clear that everything being discussed regarding freedom, what it is and how one knows they are free, is hypothetical. This old world has no end of tricks and traps to rob us of both choice and control and therefore, our comfort (fearlessness) and peace. My experience has shown me that no one is truly free, unless Christ sets them free, which, I believe, is not an event, but a process which takes a lifetime and can only be perfected in God’s everlasting Kingdom on “the other side” of life.
Peace, therefore, seems to be as elusive as being without fear. In fact, one can be fearless in one area, yet fearful in another. I believe peace and fear are proportionately related. That is, the more fear one has, the less peace one has. Conversely, the less fearful we are the more peaceful we are. Therefore, it is easy to associate peace with freedom and, obviously, the greater the freedom one has, the greater the peace.
How is peace determined? The Bible talks about the lamb lying down next to the lion, but I think we will have to wait for heaven to see that! In the meantime, I think the lamb will continue to live in fear of the lion and likely not experience much peace in the lion’s presence, unless, of course, it is oblivious to the danger it’s in. This thought will likely require another blog some other time.
Peace is actually hard to define or describe because it eludes most everyone on earth. There is always something, it seems, designed specifically to rob us of peace. Perhaps this is a good thing as it helps people search for a better place to land, such as everlasting peace in the presence of the Lord. In fact, since life is so full of struggles, we often find ourselves describing those who have departed as finally being at rest or at peace.
We do get glimpses of peace now and then. Indeed, everyone has peaceful moments. Usually, they are followed by all hell breaking loose during which time peace is as far from our experience as can be. Once again, maybe that is just to show us that ultimately, we have the possibility of being in perpetual peace only after we depart this old world.
What about your home education program? Is there peace? Some peace? No peace? This is determined by how much fear is involved, which in turn is determined by whether or not you are free. You made the choice to keep your children home. Now, are you in control? If not, your resolution to train your children at home is likely in trouble, being jeopardized by those who are claiming to have control in your children’s education.
There will undoubtedly be agencies who will do what is required to put themselves in control, whether this involves manipulation or misinformation, but that is not the greatest threat to your control and freedom. You are!
We will discuss this next time.
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