UPhilile: Recent Episodes
Zamokuhle
By a Young Black woman of South African soil for my brothers and sisters, who believe they are part and parcel for their healing and internal growth. Our stories, our struggles and our emotions shared by us.
Ever gotten to know a person who has always been around you and thought to yourself, "Why didn't I connect with this person earlier?" Sometimes we are so busy looking for people in certain roles to serve us, that we miss out on individuals who are more than willing. Let's talk about it
One of the most powerful things we can do in this season of trying again is deciding the kind of environment we will provide for our relationships. Deciding before having that tough conversation that you'll be a safe person. Whether you have strong feelings about what is being said, you'll allow people the safety to express themselves without fear of your reaction. Being a safe person for people brings such intentionality in our interactions. Let's talk about it
In this episode, I'm sharing how we allow ourselves grace but have difficulty extending it to others. This presents itself in our families, friendships with our romantic relationships. And if these relationships had been difficult seeing someone change something they have challenged you on can foster some pettiness, resentment or even jealousy. Let's talk about it
This is a new year, and we are doing new things. We have a theme for the new year zamokuhle, let's unpack it 😃 😊
Ever find yourself postponing certain goals until you are in some ideal financial space? Well, in this episode, we discuss a variety of goals in the different spheres of life that don't cost you. So let's talk about it
We have made it to the closing episode of the year, and we are reflecting on it. Have you been served well by UPhilile the podcast? I thank you for your choosing to be served by this platform. You are valued. You are appreciated. You are seen. So choose life, khetha ukuphila.
This episode is a continuation of the episodes "Is closure a pre-requisite for forgiveness" and "The price of forgiveness." In this episode, we share about apologizing and communicating it. Apologizing is a tool that restores safety, trust and the relationship on the right track. So here is some tips on how to apologize with authenticity.
For a long time, I prided myself in my ability to not be affected by things. People could come and go and I wouldn't be moved. Life could throw the toughest challenges, and I kept it moving. Then it dawned on me that I'd become numb to life. Moreover, I'd accepted it as my identity and called it not being overly sensitive. Now I'm on my journey re-igniting my sensitivity and I'd love for you to join me.
In this episode, I unpack what God has taught me about Himself. I hope it serves you well
In this episode, I share my second lesson in for the year 26. I unpack on how I built the awareness of the weak points in my family. God brought me to an alertness of the struggles and the challenges my family has and how I would need to cultivate the fruit of self control/ discipline to ensure those curses ended with me.
In this episode, we discuss the blurred lines between the act of the new age manifestation and faith. How far is to far when it comes to believing for a certain desire to come to pass?
In this conversation, we unpack how listening goes beyond just the sense of hearing. Let's talk about how you can be more objective when hearing information and allow the people who communicate with feel safe.
In this conversation, we share about the other things that matter in communication, such as your tone, face and the environment. We share about how these elements can contribute to engaging in the most meaningful way. Let's talk about it
This episode is aimed at individuals who have the itch to share everything that is on their mind and attend everything that requires a viewpoint. I heard someone say, " It's important to have intellectual standards, know which conversations require your input, and which don't." Let's talk about it.
A couple of years ago, I did an episode about learning how asking for help. Now I'm in a season where I'm embracing receiving even the help I haven't even asked for. But what is most important is how you show up when you are being helped, so let's talk about it.
Have you ever been in a relationship where a person constantly complained about the way you were showing up for them? I have, but I genuinely felt I was doing my best, but it wasn't received well. Yesterday, I was vindicated. I was taught just because someone thinks you aren't doing it right, doesn't mean you aren't doing it at all. Let's talk about it further
Finding the language to communicate our boundaries is very important, but because of the way some of us were raised, we result quicker to cutting people out of our lives. When you communicate your boundary, you enable the people in a relationship with you an opportunity to learn how to show up better for you. Inevitably loving you better.
In this episode, we discuss the different types of boundaries and the different situations in which they apply. Let's talk about it
In this episode, we speak about building the awareness that there is a point where we end and the next person begins. In a society where self is praised we can make the mistake of overflowing ourselves into the lives of those closest to us. In this conversation we share about staying curious and alert to those that are around us so close relationships feel safe to evolve around us.
In this episode I share about the experience of having relationships but in the shadows of a dominant personality. Let's talk about it
Have you ever disqualified yourself from something you desired cause you weren't "healed enough"? In this conversation, we discuss whether there is this ideal destination of healing. Whether it is fair to equate how worthy you are of something good to how far you are with your healing. Is success only available to us when we are fully healed ? Let's talk about it
In this conversation, we discuss the notion of being shamed for being tired. Can I be grateful for a season and allowed moments to feel tired? Let's talk about it and the different ways in which you can rest.
The conversations we have in our heads about our appearance are important. I've learned about Body positive affirmations and Body neutral affirmations, no one is wrong or better than the other just different solutions for different days.Body positive: speaks to building for love your appearance as you areBody neutral: speaks to appreciating your body for its functionality rather than appearance.Let's make that progress to building a healthy relationship with that reflection in the mirror.
What are your base beliefs about the relationships you allow into your life? Do you declare yourself as the person who always attracts the emotionally unavailable partners ? Do you believe there's no such thing as a genuine friend ? Do you believe you are better off alone in this life? Our foundational beliefs and thought life influence the people we find ourselves surrounded by, so let us ensure we have our relational beliefs speak to our highest self.
What or who taught you to be confident and to recognize your self worth. So much of what life teaches us should be a build-up on what was positively spoken over us in our young ages. Unfortunately, being positively affirmed was not the reality of everyone's childhood so where our parents have missed the mark we have to re-parent ourselves. Cheers to building up our confidence and recognizing our value.
This week's affirmations are a set of wealth affirmations. Where I challenge your underlying beliefs that surround wealth. What is wealth to you? Do you feel like the accumulation of resources is sinful? What character traits are valuable for a wealthy person? What are the underlying responsibilities for a person with greater resources?
This is a set of affirmations centered around calming your emotions when you are feeling overwhelmed, anxious or worried about something beyond your control.
This is the start of a new series of affirmations. How is your thought life? What conversations are you allowing to roam your mind? In whatever season we are in, it is important that we build an awareness of the conversations in our mind, and if it isn't the right conversations, ensure we rewrite them.
This is the last episode of this series, and it's important to discuss this notion of the inside marriage and outside marriage kids talk. We might ignore the pain associated with Step parents as we grow but what we failed to address with them most people revenge with siblings and generations to come. So let's talk about it
After tackling the child and step parents' perspective, it only makes sense to have the parent follow suit. The parents have great responsibility that they sometimes don't take full acknowledgment of as the reason this step parent relationship is happening. With greater work on their end as the facilitator, they can help all parties feel seen and filled, thus leading to a lesser chance of turmoil in the step parent relationship. Step parent relationships would stand a better chance if instead of basking in the attention, the parent understood their part as a middleman.
In this episode, we are in conversation with the step parent. Having bonus parents could/should be such a blessing, especially in this age where we need so much counsel as the youth and young adults. So how do we make a move towards that? Let's talk
This episode is a letter to my/your inner child knowing what I know now in adulthood. There are a lot of emotions children with the step parent dynamic face, and I speak to those situations. This episode is for individuals with step parents, whether the relationship is good or bad and no matter how old you are.
I know I promised a Q&A, but this series just couldn't wait. As a child with 4 parents, I've always felt that I wish people took the role of Step parenting with greater intentionality. In this episode, I share about dating an individual with a child and the things people who might not have children have to consider. We already have a broken home pandemic, so a lot of wounded children who then become wounded adults let's not add to that by further scarring those children. A mother/father has 9 months to prepare for the child, Step parents need to be more aware and alert in the role they play.
In this episode we discuss how to navigate transitions and how to show up differently when people are used to us showing up a particular way.
How do you go about moving from a space when you and the person you are in relationship with are experiencing absolute bliss in your communication and then suddenly some life event happens and you are no longer filling their love tank? Let's talk about it
What happens when you've shared a deep connection with a person based off of a past trauma and that person is now ready to move on and you've built comfort around the trauma? Let's talk
I believe the greatest place to start anything is in the acceptance of the current/past set of circumstances. So as we start setting goals, I love for us to take a moment and reflect on whether our past season was an execution or preparation season and lessen the pressure we put on ourselves.
In this week's episode we continue the conversation from closure to the cost of forgiveness. We aren't just sharing about the price the wrongdoer has to pay for being wrong. We are sharing about the price the wronged individual has to pay because although the journey may end for the wrongdoer at being forgiven but it's only starting for the wronged individual
Closure is an idea of only granting forgiveness to an individual when they are remorseful. But truthfully speaking in many of our human interactions people won't be remorseful. So do we then delay living?
In this Birthday month episode I share all the lessons that I have newly learnt and those that have been reemphasized in this season. From weathering seasons well to giving people the freedom to choose you. It's a jam packed episode. Do enjoy
In this episode I share the conversation with a Uni friend that just said "I do". We share on what it took emotionally to make that lifelong commitment. Hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did.
In this episode we normalize the conversation of break-ups because all relationships operate in the context of seasons. What are the reasons for a break up? And when is the right time to call it quits?
We have been sharing about working on yourself for yourself and for the benefit of your romantic relationship. But why bother? What's the importance of a healthy relationship?
Do you want a healthy relationship, having never seen it modeled in your life journey? In this episode I share how I got to that point of shifting my speech and believing for better.
In this episode we explore the concept of having a list that describes your ideal partner. Why are certain attributes important to you? Where do those desires come from?
In this episode I discuss pouring in, clearing you mind state and develop mental habits that help your life journey
In this episode I share the awkward interactions I've had during grieving seasons. I therefore thought this would be a great platform to share what not to say and what's more appropriate conversation with a person in the grief process.
In last week's episode I shared with you on meeting your parents/family members as individuals outside of their roles as the people shaped by their experiences, environments and choices. In just a couple of days I was put to the test of how strongly I hold those beliefs.
In this episode I share a method that has helped me deal with and come to terms with painful spots where my parents might have missed the mark.
As we begin the 6 month of the year it's important that we take a moment to check in with where we stand with the goals we set at the beginning of the year. Are our goals coming to pass? And if not why?
In this episode I share 7 different types of unhealthy friendship connections. We discuss all of them from the competitive friend all the way to the friendships where the essence of it is dependent on gossiping about others.
In this episode I share the five ways that have personally assisted me in maintaining healthy adult friendships. These suggestions range from scheduling time to volunteering information. So
In this episode I share the role that convenience plays in relationships and whether we should put more effort in our friendships. When to call it quits in friendship.
In this episode I share one of my reads for the month of April titled 4 Agreements. I unpack where I found this gem of a book and its impactful wisdom on Being aware of your words, not taking things to heart or making assumptions and putting your best foot forward.
This is a continuation of the last conversation with Nomzamo Madide. You can follow her blog Conversations Unheard Of, links are available on her IG bio @nomz.madide
In this week I am joined by Nomzamo a blogger of "Conversations unheard of" and author of "Hidden truths of your 20s". In this episode we unpack her journey of writing and what it has taught her. This is part 1/3 and you can catch her @nomz.madide on IG or on her above mentioned blog.
In this episode I share my tough past week where I dealt with emotions of insecurity, not being enough and fatigue from my pursuit of purpose. I also share how I'm coming out from this hole.
In this episode I share a current difficulty I'm facing in defining where the boundary lies between serving and going beyond my personal capacity to dishonering self. I share about how it's better to give a straight no rather than a resentful yes. Do enjoy the episode.
In this episode I share my journey in understanding wealth and people who have poured into me in my knowledge. I include Patrice W's pillars of wealth and how we can support each other in this journey of wealth.
This week I learnt about 4 ways relationships can show up for you in your life and learning to be content with that. And this week I unpack and share that lesson.
In this episode I share about my recent convictions of appreciating the moment that is now and my beliefs for what the future held. Do enjoy
In this episode I share with you a new found shift in perspective that I'm challenging myself to use in my life. What is this new perspective? Choosing compassion when encountering offense.
In this episode I share on one of my real time struggles, being wrong. I share the stages I have experienced in being corrected, the root of this problem and what I have learnt to date. For people who struggle with being corrected, I hope this episode serves you well.
This episode was inspired by a reflection episode by Jay Shetty. I shared 4 questions I felt like were crucial in preparation for this brand new year and I also shared my personal respones to these questions. Hope you enjoy this episode
In this episode I welcome you to a new season of uPhilile and hopefully a more consistent one. I also share a couple of nuggets on a book I'm reading by SJ Roberts, Woman Evolve. I hope you do enjoy the episode.
In this episode we discuss the dynamics of starting something new. (Apologies for the abrupt cut off, some audio of this conversation was lost)
"Heal. So you can perceive energy, emotions and words without straining them through your pain."@Realizedempath
From my previous episode I reached out to a dear friend of mine to help me out. I hope you draw pointers from our conversations. Remember its important to friends you can call on during the different seasons of your life. And during your great seasons of your life do check up on your friends who might need some pouring in.
In this episode I share my current emotional space and dealing with it all. I hope my vulnerabilty encourages you to attend to your emotional state and current experiences.
In this episode Zama shares with us discipline nuggets that can help us better achieve the goals we have set for the year. From this episode I hope you are able to make the most of every day through healthy and consistent habits that align with you highest vision.
Hello family and welcome back to UPhilile. We start off season 3 with a monthly check-in from myself, do enjoy.
This week im joined by a dear friend of mine. We chatted about her journey to being and growing her self love.
In this episode Zakithi and I share our personal journies with our parents. We touched on what children need from their parents and how to reparent yourself for what your might have not recieved from your parents
In this episode, Ratiba shares his journey to building self belief. Sharing with us his upbring, his road to vulnerability and how he has become the man he is in this present day.
In this episode, I did a couple of random get to know me questions. I believe it's important to learn the "essence" of the people/things you allow to "pour into you".
In this episode Nhlanhla and I close off the conversation on purpose. We touch base on the manufacturer of purpose, how purpose allows you to truly live and many more nuggets.
In this episode Ntobe and I discuss a dilemma faced by a number of black youth, preparing for something to fall back on before pursuing our dreams. We discuss how going for plan B has impacted and served Ntobe in her journey.
In this episode, I unpack what purpose means to sis Noma in her life journey. We share on the importance of being content, intentional and yielding.
Ones mental and emotional health can be large contributing factors to spending habit. So lets discuss budgeting😊
So today(30/06) is my late brother's birthday, so i wrote him a letter and shared it with you too
In this episode I share with you how I practically process my healing on the basis of triggers.
On this episode Thando and I share on parts of our journey experiencing, coping and dealing with the loss of our loved ones.
On this episode, Sithabile shares her childhood journey with us and challenges she faced.
So I've been away for a second, doing an intense workout with life. This is my rough check-in conversation and I hope you enjoy my conversation with you.
In this podcast I explore a social goal of mine, serving. I describe what it means to me, where I learnt it from and a couple of tips of how you can incorporate it in your life.
In this episode I share the major lessons learnt in my university journey. In hopes that it brings you to a personal reflection.
In this episode I explore one of my first lessons in my journey of healing through my Daddy issues. I hope you enjoy and take away something from it.
In this episode I dive into the expectations we have on various people in our path of life. In some cases expectations they cannot fulfill and how we can make better on those situations.
In this conversation we dive into bumps in relationships that are affected by backgrounds. Backgrounds such as household, differences in financial statuses and physical locations. We use our personal experiences and what we've learnt as the base of the conversation, hoping that you'll take away something from it.
This is a solo episode where I share an internal conversation. This conversation consists of only a fragment of what the conversation should be concerning the current happenings in South Africa. But it's a start, a start that I believe brings about healing, growth and change. And most importantly it is a start to a conversation that should never end.
The middleman is a role many of us find ourselves within our families or in other relationships. We play a mediator or peacemaker between relatives and friends. In this episode we discuss our experience in being the middleman and I hope that this conversations enriches you in your journey
In this episode I introduce you to myself, the background for the title and the hopes and goals I have for this platform. Your engagement to this episode will be truly appreciated.