Unhindered: Recent Episodes
Jaemin Frazer
On today’s episode, Amity is back in the host chair helping me unpack the most common mistakes people make when it comes to dealing with their insecurities.
If you would like to eradicate insecurity from your life so that you are able to be at your best where it matters most, here is what NOT to do.
These simple mistakes are made for a variety of reasons, but each one of them immediately takes you out of the proven path for overcoming insecurity for good.
Listen in to find out each of the top 5 mistakes to make sure you are not making any of them, and to discover what to do instead.
On this episode, my daughter Amity takes over the podcast and turns the microphone onto me.
For all the new listeners and those just beginning the process of solving their insecurity problem, Amity interviews me on all the basics so you can know exactly where to start.
Even if you’ve been wrestling with the fear of not being good enough for years, this episode will help you come back to basics and understand the only path to becoming unhindered from all self doubt, limiting beliefs and insecurities.
You’ll find:
A clear, step by step summary of the seven essential practices for overcoming insecurity.
Practical examples from both of us about how each of these practices apply in the real world.
An understanding of why personal insecurity is such a predictable and solvable problem.
And, some key mistakes to avoid along the way.
On today’s episode, I’ve compiled the 10 most useful skills from the life-coaching world.
15 years ago, the life-coaching skillset was a missing technology in my tool kit for helping people grow and change and find effective solutions to their most painful problems. Although I was often privileged enough to be invited into people’s lives to deal with their greatest challenges, in hindsight, my heart was always in the right place, but I definitely lacked the skills and tools to facilitate lasting change.
Maybe you’ll find these skill are a missing technology in your life too.
I’m convinced that life-coaching skills (when used well) can only add value to your life and those around you, even if you have no intention of becoming a full-time professional coach.
Over the last 15 years I’ve been a coach, here are my 10 favourite life-coaching skills that are applicable in any area of life, guaranteed to make you healthy, wealthy and wise.
On today’s episode:
Why you should buy more books that you’re never going to read.
Exactly why man’s search for meaning is misplaced inside religion.
How I finally accessed the creative magic inside me for the novel I’m writing.
Why my most outlandish and important life goals are all back online again after losing them in a season of confusion and disappointment.
And the only way to truly get the things you really want through the science of manifestation.
On Today’s episode:
The three things every person must do at least once in their lifetime,
What to do with all the suffering in the world and why I still love Jerry Seinfeld,
The latest iteration of my life purpose statement,
Why drinking Elvis Juice on a rooftop bar in Vegas is always a good idea,
My main regret after meeting a Leprechaun in a canyon bed hot-spring,
And why it’s much harder to become a bad person than most people imagine.
On today’s episode:
My lovely wife shares her personal development journey over the last 5 years and how the coaching space has helped her make key breakthroughs along the way. What makes this even more interesting is that I have been the one that has coached her. I’ve asked her to explain how we were able to have these critical coaching conversations without ruining our marriage.
Katherine also talks about:
How we separated the coaching conversations from the marriage ones
The importance of clean conversations, precise language and being clear about the frame before the conversation is had.
The levels and layers of self awareness required to understand the dysfunctional patterns holding you back.
And, why everyone needs a coach at some point in their life.
On today’s episode:
An update from my annual thinking week retreat,
Why my golf game has drastically improved lately
And a detailed critique of why these 12 ‘truths’ from therapy will not actually change anything.
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Thoughts are not facts
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Your past does not define your future
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Perfectionism is a myth
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Change begins with self-acceptance
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There’s power in vulnerability
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You can’t change others, just yourself
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Forgiveness is for you not the other person
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You can change
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Your inner critic is not your friend
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Your body keeps the score
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You are not responsible for other peoples happiness
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It’s OK to walk away from toxic relationships
And what to do instead that does actually lead to lasting change.
On today’s episode:
Why it is supposed to be hard to find the right playlist to listen to on Spotify, the right movie to watch on Netflix, or the right book to purchase on Audible.
Cutting through the noise and mess of the NLP world back to the heart of what made this technology so wonderful in the first place.
Some pure wisdom from David Henry Thoreau that has opened my future to new possibilities,
And why you have to get your hands on Dr Karl Kruszelnicki’s autobiography - A Periodic Tale.
On today’s episode:
I’m sure no one is still running an iPhone 3 with the same software it came installed with. It would be completely incompatible with current apps. It is crazy that the idea of installing necessary operating system updates for your phone makes sense, but most people are still running the same internal operating system for their life that they installed before they finished primary school! No wonder life has become so difficult and ineffective.
Here are the 8 most important operating system upgrades you’ll need to install in your mind if you would like to have a better experience of life.
On today’s episode:
How I fell into the entitlement trap again, and how Jim Carey helped rescue me from this dangerous state.
Making sense of divine inspiration.
The virtues of drinking alcohol on an empty stomach.
Why it is important to own a bean bag.
And my favourite writing from each of my 6 books.
On today's episode:
The only way to tell if internet advice has any value, especially when you find completely contradictory ideas online.
The importance of not just focussing, but knowing just what to focus on.
Why I find the man made world more amazing than the natural one.
An update on my latest writing project.
What I do when my clients get scared,
And pretending it is your first day on earth.
On today’s episode:
Why Jocko Willink is wrong about getting the best out of yourself and how to truly find freedom instead.
How Lebron James models certainty more purely than anyone else in the public eye.
My favourite art, music and comedy from the last few weeks.
And, why your problems are not clinging to you but, you are the one clinging to them.
On Todays episode I interviewed my 20 year old daughter Amity about her experience of overcoming insecurity ahead of the curve. We also chat about her thoughts on:
Readiness for change. How to increase it, and why you can’t get away with pretending to be ready.
The power of the clean coaching space to facilitate lasting change.
Accusations, agreements and dealing with daddy issues.
How to discover the defining moments that created insecurity in the first place.
Why gamification may be the only way into the journey of overcoming insecurity for most people.
Why it is easy to underestimate the hard work around rewriting the story and the importance of being prepared for the pressure test.
And, where psychedelics fit in the process and what conditions make them safe.
On Todays episode I interviewed my 20 year old daughter Amity about her experience of overcoming insecurity ahead of the curve. We also chat about her thoughts on:
Readiness for change. How to increase it, and why you can’t get away with pretending to be ready.
The power of the clean coaching space to facilitate lasting change.
Accusations, agreements and dealing with daddy issues.
How to discover the defining moments that created insecurity in the first place.
Why gamification may be the only way into the journey of overcoming insecurity for most people.
Why it is easy to underestimate the hard work around rewriting the story and the importance of being prepared for the pressure test.
And, where psychedelics fit in the process and what conditions make them safe.
On todays episode:
What the Olympics has to teach us about game theory and an explanation of the three main games each of us are invited to play.
Why I have no respect for sobriety and why alcoholism is entirely a solvable problem (if indeed an alcoholic wanted it to be solved).
How listening to an audiobook from someone who is long dead instantly dissolves the time, space continuum.
And why Michael Leunigs carton of a woman’s ass explains everything.
On today’s episode:
Why most of what you read on the internet about healing the wounds of your childhood is dangerously misleading.
What I did to upset a couple of scared Christians this week and last week.
How negative feedback from people who are not well placed to know who you are or to receive your gift, is actually very helpful in becoming a secure human being.
What I said that lead to me being accused of deluding myself, but why everyone is delusional anyway.
And why my wife never listens to this podcast.
On today’s episode:
Why I got into trouble with last week’s episode and what I learnt about chess and marriage in the process.
Why I bought twice as many fence posts as needed and what happened when I got home.
And, the importance of cleaning the space in your 3 most important relationships and why the order of which relationship to work on first really matters.
On today’s episode:
The purpose of thinking.
National identity as a construct.
Why I offended 2 women at my last book event, and why it is likely to happen again in the future.
The primary role of parenting and why you shouldn't let your kids do things that make you not like them (Jordan Peterson’s rule 5).
And why I’m never going to Bali again.
On this episode:
An update on the upcoming insecurity project events.
The evolutionary process from a bird's wing to the latest fighter jet and what that has to do with your place in the natural world.
A critique on the prevalence of adults diagnosed with ADHD and other mental health labels and why the world rewards dysfunction more than health.
And the logic behind the way your brain stores memories the clearest in moments of surprise.
This week on the Unhindered podcast;
The impact of the in-home sound system on modern life and an explanation of the mechanics of sound itself,
How listening to the great Sam Neill narrate his life story reminded me about the illusion of separation,
Why familiarity closes your heart to the divine,
A few countercultural insights from Tom Hodgkinson’s book - How to be idle,
And…The rudest LinkedIn message I’ve ever received.
On episode 301:
- Why disappointment and embarrassment often go hand in hand, and why it is essential to revisit the very first time this happened in your life.
- Dealing with my daughters daddy issues.
- An update from the Self-permission book tour and why I'm still waiting for someone to agree with me about the book.
- And the purest dream I've had about what is possible for a community of secure individuals free to show up at their best where it matters most.
On the 300th episode of the Unhindered podcast:
My first strongly negative feedback about the new book and what that means for me leading into my national book tour.
Why ‘more courage and less fear’ is the worst advice you’ve ever heard.
Why it won’t be enough to understand all the games you are currently playing, you’ll have to rank them in order of importance too.
My most recommended books and other resources.
Why I run without a shirt on.
The advantage of being exhausted.
And finally, why this will be the last Unhindered episode for a while, and what new podcast project I’m working on next…
On today’s episode:
How I survived and even slightly enjoyed recording the Self permission method audiobook. I’ll tell you why this experience was different to the last two times I’ve recorded my books.
I’ll also share part 2 of the conversation with myself about my internal resistance and how I regained full permission to power up in this season (using the self-permission method).
King Charles has cancer! Could it be something more than a just a sad coincidence? I’ll show you why insecurity always needs an escape plan.
And I’ll explain the 10 principles for how to completely heal the wounds of your childhood (so that you reduce your chances of getting cancer).
Following on from my hot take on the Australia Day debate last week, I'll show you another piece of coaching content to help you make sense of what to do with these kind of issues in the world.
Also on today’s episode I’ve shared my own experience of how the self-permission model played out in real time over the last few weeks in my life so that you can see how the model works in action.
On the first episode for 2024, I’ve got an excerpt from my new book “The Self-Permission Method” to whet your appetite for the book launch in a month or so, and I open a can of worms by examining the current debate about Australia Day.
See what happens for yourself when the delicate and polarising subject of the date of Australia Day is brought inside the safety of the coaching frame.
If you were prime minister, how would you solve the issue after this episode?
On the final episode for 2023:
The one biggest hindrance to listening to yourself and how to overcome it so that you can access the deep wisdom contained in your own heart.
The life-changing insights and discoveries gained from my annual thinking week retreat. (What’s a thinking week you may be asking? Tune in to find out)
And an exciting announcement about the expected release date for my new book and an invitation to be a special part of the book tour.
Merry Christmas to you and yours.
On today’s episode:
My best guess about why you keep tuning in to this podcast and what my most important contribution to your lives really is.
How to know when you’ve named your deepest fear precisely enough to make insecurity a solvable problem (and what happens when you haven’t).
Some audio from a client who is wrestling with this very challenge.
A vicious take down of psychologists and an explanation of exactly why they are unable to facilitate lasting change.
And, an excerpt from Greg Bellingham’s brilliant new book of poems “Way of the heart” (You can find the book here: https://www.wayoftheheart.com.au)
To summarise your whole life in 6 words is a bold claim, so let me be a little more precise but no less bold and aim to summarise your pain, disfunction and suffering in just 6 words.
If you are willing to try it on, I’m sure you’ll find this elegantly simple summary gives you more than enough clarity to defeat your worst fear for good.
On today’s episode I’ll show you what it means to have faith, where faith comes from and why it is so important for it to be tested.
I’ll also share the five key ideas on how to become the kind of person who holds onto their faith in what they cannot see especially when their hopes and dreams seem impossible. To have the full and effective human experience you must have faith, you must have it tested and you must endure the testing with joy.
On today’s episode, again I’ve been given permission to share a real coaching session.
If you’ve ever struggled with these kind of issues, I’m sure you’ll find this conversation very useful
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Long running or lingering health issues that the doctor doesn’t know what to do about.
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Noticing the ability to manage, force or fight yourself effectively through self-discipline is rapidly diminishing.
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A polluted space within your own relationship with yourself that shows up as an overall lack of trust.
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A sense of of neediness for someone or something to make your life better, happier or more complete.
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A lack of clarity about who you need to be in order to succeed in this season.
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A lack of clarity or confidence about all the various games you find yourself involved in.
Listen in as Sammi shares openly about exactly where she feels stuck and watch as I apply the Self-permission coaching framework to give her more awareness and choice.
On today’s episode I’ve been given permission to share a recent one on one coaching session
If you’ve ever struggled with these challenges, I’m sure you’ll find this conversation useful:
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Knowing you have value to add to the world, but procrastinating about ever fully speaking your message.
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Discovering that the ‘more courage, less fear’ approach hasn’t actually moved the needle on your problem.
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Worrying about the impact of your ideas on others and obsessing about what everyone will think about you.
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Needing for things to be perfect before you take action
Listen in as Mandy shares openly about how these issues are costing her and how I apply the coaching frame to give her more awareness and choice about a way forward.
On today’s episode:
Why the game of politics rewards insecurity and what that means for the average citizen,
What to make of the polarising debate about the upcoming voice referendum, (and which way I’m voting…)
And what the game of poker has to teach us about knowing when to go all in with what you have in your hand.
On today’s episode of the podcast:
Taking cues from an Aussie football star on the dilemma of talking about the things you are good at,
Losing the ability to sleep as a direct result of unresolved internal issues,
Why I had permission denied on the next phase of my grand book publishing plan and how I got it back again,
The good reason I started gambling on sport this week,
The significant dangers of being double minded,
And…You won’t believe me when I tell you the 18 models online coach training is finally ready to go! All the info here: www.jaeminfrazer.com/training
On today’s episode:
What I learnt about insecurity from a bunch of naked German oldies.
The importance of pressure testing personal growth,
Hidden wisdom from the creator of Young Sheldon,
How knowing the rules of the game of life gives you an unfair advantage,
And why goodness is a function of choice.
On today’s episode:
My first public statement on the ‘Burpgate’ saga.
Does Ivan Milat’s death mean it’s safe to Hitchhike now?
Why sport makes me cry.
Examining the problem with the ‘only human’ language pattern
What the depraved behaviour showcased in ‘The sound of Freedom’ movie reveals about human nature.
Understanding some brilliant German rules before we return to Bad Berneck for a family holiday
And why it is taking me so bloody long to release my 18 models coach training program online.
I was in a silly mood for this one…On today’s episode:
What does Marshall Bruce Mathers III have to do with life’s hidden meaning?
The 2 nap induced epiphanies I had this week.
Just because someone has a cool name doesn’t make them a legend.
Why it’s OK to drink VB. Even if you’re not a real tough kind of guy.
And, the great pressures endured by Christian teenage boys.
I hope you laugh as hard as I did.
This week on the Unhindered Podcast:
How to enjoy gluten, dairy, sugar and alcohol even when your doctor says you should never ingest these items ever again.
Why The Apostle Paul and Saint Augustine guessed the wrong answer to the right question, and why each of us are still paying for their mistake.
And why I’m supremely confident in the quality of the idea I’m writing my next book about, but not so confident in the quality of my writing about the idea…
Oh…And there’s some sweet new music to enjoy for your listening pleasure.
On today’s episode:
The three most important levers to quickly and effectively change your state.
Why you are not real, but music and laughter is (and why music on this podcast is here to stay.)
When it is appropriate to tell the government to F off.
And more proof that safety is an illusion just as Helen Keller said.
On today’s episode:
What my daughter discovered about the single most difficult part of being a life coach.
Why the self-esteem movement got caught focussing on the wrong solution to the right problem.
More thoughts on the use of Psilocybin for personal development in a therapeutic context.
And why editing the first draft of my latest book is a life threatening task.
On this week’s episode:
How I ‘cooked the goose’ while writing my next book.
Why perfect conditions are never as desirable as you’d imagine.
The best thing Helen Keller ever said.
Why risk averse people are actually the ones in most danger.
How one of my clients got drunk on his own fumes for 3 days
And the joy of John Farnham’s bagpipes.
My guest today is Charley Valher. Charley is an award wining business, marketing and investment expert from Melbourne who has just completed the Unhindered experience. He was happy to share very personally about his experience eradicating insecurity from his life and answer these tough questions on the subject.
- Can you describe your initial resistance to the ‘overcoming insecurity’ content I was publishing online?
- What was it that caused you to realise that hidden insecurity was a problem worth investigating?
- What were some of the deep moments of awareness that rocked your world when we started coaching together?
- What did you find most transformational about the unhindered experience?
- What did you find most difficult to address?
- What has been the lasting fruit of confronting and eradicating your deepest fears about yourself?
- Any surprising changes in your life you never anticipated?
- Why do you think most people will not do what you’ve just done over the last 6 months?
We had a lot of fun in the coaching process together, and this conversation was no different. I’m sure you’ll find his journey super interesting and relevant to wherever you are at in the process of overcoming your own insecurity.
A big welcome to the bunch of new listeners from the US over the last few weeks.
Here’s what’s on today’s episode of the Unhindered podcast:
- Un update on speaking at TEDx and where I’m at in the book writing process.
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Why self-promotion always sounds weird and a gentle reminder about why you are special, but your problems are not.
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Breaking free from the restrictions of your surname while mimicking Sadhguru.
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The three principles you must understand in order to turn your biggest dreams into reality.
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And why the BE DO HAVE model is still the fastest way to improve the quality of your life.
Oh…and as a special treat for those who just don’t dig the backing track, I’ve also released this episode without music.
A big welcome to the bunch of new listeners from the US over the last few weeks.
Here’s what’s on today’s episode of the Unhindered podcast:
- Un update on speaking at TEDx and where I’m at in the book writing process.
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Why self-promotion always sounds weird and a gentle reminder about why you are special, but your problems are not.
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Breaking free from the restrictions of your surname while mimicking Sadhguru.
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The three principles you must understand in order to turn your biggest dreams into reality.
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And why the BE DO HAVE model is still the fastest way to improve the quality of your life.
Oh…and as a special treat for those who just don’t dig the backing track, I’ve also released this episode without music. (no. 279)
In order to experience lasting change your life, it is essential to first understand the exact structure of the way things are now. On today’s episode of the Unhindered podcast I'll show you exactly why this is so damn important.
Also on this episode:
The hidden link between the formula for the volume of a cylinder, and the process of eradicating insecurity;
Why I believe in your ability to handle the truth even when it seems too scary;
How Brené Brown has inadvertently created a huge problem by helping the world celebrate vulnerability;
And an important announcement about the addition of concreting to my list of business services.
All success and achievement starts in the mind. As Napoleon Hill says: “More gold has been mined from the thoughts of men than has been taken from the earth.”
His book “Think and grow rich” is undoubtedly one of the all-time classics, but his authors note before he launches into the secret of wealth may be the best book introduction ever written. This alone has the power to transform your life.
The challenge most people have with this notion however, is that when they look upstairs they find their thoughts are scattered, they don’t know what they want, and are not certain they have an idea of any value.
The problem is, to live the meaningful and effective life you desire, you’ll have to develop and double down on one big idea above all others. So, having clear thoughts about what you really want and then organising those thoughts into a commitment to action is a non-negotiable part of success.
If this feels overwhelming to you, I’ll show you exactly where to start in order to make instant progress here.
On today’s episode I’ll explain how to play the ‘silly ideas only game’ and why this may be the only way to access the real vision you have for your life if you feel like you don’t know what you want.
Also on this episode:
How TEDx Canberra has been playing silly buggers with me,
Why Steven Pressfield is entirely wrong about being at war with resistance,
And why dealing with unresolved issues in your marriage could very well be the biggest thing in the way of your big idea seeing the light of day.
On todays episode:
The great value of psychedelics in healing therapy, spirituality and helping becoming genuinely good humans. I’ll explain how to harness the power and grace of these natural substances and avoid the one big danger.
How to live in a way where the goal is to disappoint as many people as it takes to never disappoint yourself again.
And, why my last instagram video was too rude for the internet and had to be taken down.
(Here is the TED talk I referred to : ‘The science of psilocybin and its use to relieve suffering.’ by Roland Griffiths https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81-v8ePXPd4 )
It's taken me a couple of weeks to process and integrate all the learnings from the trip of a lifetime to the US and Guatemala with my son, but I've put together some reflections that I think you'll enjoy.
Here are some of the highlights from this episode:
Why I'm likely to win parent of the year unless chimpanzees assess the awards criteria like they seemingly do for neck pillows.
The five keys I use to reframe my experience to get more of what I want, no matter what is going on around me.
How to know who you really are and what to do when you are with people who have no idea about what is really inside you.
And the ironic double standards of when you’re allowed to use cuss words in the USA.
Get a behind the scenes view of the Insecurity Project and all that has gone into my journey to this point as Sean Steele follows his curiosity and turns the mic around to interview me.
Here are some of the great topics we covered:
When you set such high standards for your own life, how does that play out in your parenting
What is the biggest misunderstanding about insecurity
The impact of my religious upbringing on my work today
How to expand on the map of the world we get given in the family we are born into
Whether religious people are harder to coach
Where insecurity still shows up for me
Where to from here and what’s next for the Insecurity Project.
On today’s episode of the Unhindered podcast:
You may have heard me talk about my power and grace tattoos before, but today I’ll explain what happens when I get them around the wrong way. Even though these words still are my most important course correctors, this week I got myself in strife by looking for grace when I really needed to use my power.
I’ll also talk about the dangerous things that happen when we are scared, and why Franklin D Rooselvelt’s words still ring true almost a century after his stirring speech.
And finally, there’s Lebron James’ moon boot, what happened before the Big Bang, and why listening to Russel brand on 2x speed is bad for your health.
Teaching someone how to love you.
On today’s episode:
- The $50million dollar solution to the problem of Australian bushfires that’s already working.
- Why Malcom Gladwell’s book Blink isn’t that great, and why Jordan Peterson’s book beyond order is.
- How to make an affogato properly.
- The single most important question to ask your spouse and for them to ask you right now.
- And the 5 core qualities you’ll require to effectively retrain others how to treat you.
On today’s episode:
- Showing up in other people’s dreams as the messiah.
- The problem with running your business as a one-woman band.
- My plan B if this life coaching thing doesn’t work out.
- How I resolved my back pain in 30 minutes.
- And, how to align the 4 key areas of life so that you win your most important games.
On todays episode of the Unhindered podcast find out:
What Jesus was doing at the Super Bowl,
Why it’s ok for football players to behave poorly at home, except in my home town of Goulburn,
How to go viral on Instagram and stop wanting to be rich and famous,
Why you should NOT stop caring about what others think.
And why zooming out every once in a while may be the best thing you’ve ever done for yourself.
Flow is defined as the most meaningful and effective experiences we get to have as humans. It is the moments of bliss, inspiration, clarity and power that transport us into the supernatural realm and allow us to achieve truly extraordinary results.
Every has this magic inside them. The issue is, can you access it when you need it most?
On today's episode I'll share the most important discoveries I've made in the last 10 years about how to find flow on a daily basis.
Oh, and I'll also share a recent review of one of my books that described it 'The worst self development book I've read in a long time.’
The Insecurity Project podcast has a new name! From henceforth it shall now be known as the Unhindered podcast.
There really is only one goal - To be completely unhindered so that you can show up to life at your best where it matters most.
There really is only one problem - Hidden or unresolved insecurity is the only thing that ever stops people living the life they are truly capable of.
And, there really is only one solution - The 7 essential practices for overcoming insecurity is the proven roadmap for how anyone has ever fully solved this universal problem.
May you become unhindered in 2023!
On the first episode for this year I’m inviting you to participate in a thought experiment that has the power to change your whole perspective about what it means to be you. Who are you? What are you? And are you actually alone and separated from the things you desire, or is that merely an illusion.
Listen in to find out for sure.
If you've listened to much of the podcast before, no doubt you'll have heard me say that in order to fully overcome all insecurity, you'll have to go back to the moments in your childhood where you created these fears about yourself in the first place.
But what happens if you just CAN'T remember? Especially when the research suggests these formative beliefs are created before you are 7!
If you (like the majority of people) have no clear memory of these defining moments, I'll show you what to do instead using the wonder of imagination and generalisation.
I'll also give a short summary of my favourite book of the year - The magicians way by William Whitecloud, and tell you what the 7 secrets of magic have to do with living unhindered.
This is the final episode for 2022. A big thank you to all who’ve tuned in each week this year. I’ll be back with more of your favourite content and conversations early in the new year.
Today's guest is Filipa Bellette. She is just about to finish the 6 month Unhindered experience with me and wanted to share what has happened in her life as a result.
Filly was already a highly successful, highly motivated, multi award-winning business woman who didn't really know that there was hidden insecurity capping her performance before we started working together.
On this episode Filly shares very openly about what happened when she uncovered a deep fear of being weak and incapable that was actually impacting every area of her life.
You'll hear her unpack how she journeyed through each of the 7 essential practices for overcoming insecurity until coming out the other side with a beautiful new narrative about who she really was instead.
Filly also shares some of the amazing results since resolving this limiting belief for good including the fact that she has consistently been making an extra $8-$10k a month since starting the Unhindered experience!
Like thousands of others in Australia this week, I was lucky enough to get to hear Jordan Peterson speak live in Melbourne.
It gave me a fresh take on the importance of his voice in the world today and why feminists seem to hate him so much.
On today's episode I'll unpack my favourite insights from his lecture.
I'll also show you a simple model for getting unstuck I've just developed around the 3 levels of awareness. While it is straight forward, I'll explain why most people will never move beyond levels 1 and 2
And finally there's a story about how in an attempt to earn father of the year points I accidentally hurt my son so bad he almost passed out...
On today’s podcast episode:
Why Matthew Perry's brand new autobiography should be on your must read list - even though it is definitely one of the worst books I’ve ever read.
The very best thing about being a victim, but why the moment you use it, you lose the game for good. (This was so important to share that I had to pause the music to make sure you heard it straight.)
The greatest advice you’ll ever hear from Harvard university.
Why I'm never using the word interesting again thanks to a group of 93 year olds.
And a reminder about why the middle of your life is the best time to do your most important personal development work.
Here is the final live coaching session for 2022.
Penny has courageously allowed me to share our coaching conversation with you all knowing that her problem is very typical of almost every ambitious adult in the mid-life season.
Some of the issued covered in this session are:
Reconciling the desire to be seen and heard with the costs involved
How to genuinely add value to those around you
The challenge of feeling dependant on family for support even as an adult
Why courage is overrated
Why it is essential to understand what games you are playing
How to build a robust relationship with your unconscious mind
Why success must also be safe
If you’ve ever felt stuck in the same areas, I’m sure you’ll find the session super useful.
If you’d like to test yourself against the 4 safety check issues I mentioned to Penny, you can do so at www.jaeminfrazer.com/lifecoaching
This episode is a little longer than normal. Instead of the usual 10 minute Tuesday or my long form interviews and coaching sessions, today I want to talk about my own experience with Christianity and how it relates to overcoming insecurity - specifically I’m talking about how the bible addresses the dilemma of feeling like part of you is not good or that your core nature is not to be trusted.
Jesus’ statement "Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God." has been rolling around in my head for the last few months to great affect, and I thought it was time to share what I believe it means and explain why this quote is good news for everyone.
I'll share my own experiences inside christianity as a pastor and explain why I am no longer a christian even though I never thought that would be the case.
I'll also give you some history, psychology and philosophy and do my best to help you understand why this is such an important topic for us all to explore together.
Today’s podcast episode is a live coaching session.
These sessions are always rare, raw and very special, simply because they require such a high level of vulnerability from the person willing to share their coaching experience. They also demonstrate how simple and hard transformation really is.
In the conversation we examine these themes among others:
The challenge of making good decisions in the future when there are a bunch of poor decisions and failures from the past
The need to responsibly provide for family rather than continuing to purse risky dreams
How to know what you actually believe about yourself rather than what you should believe
Working backwards to the origin moment of where limiting beliefs are formed
How to genuinely trust yourself
As you listen in, I’m sure you’ll find yourself in the patterns of Jonny’s story and appreciate the gift he is giving by allowing you to observe his journey.
This week's podcast episode is all about what to do when then way forward is literally impossible.
In addressing this important dilemma, I'll show you the interplay between what is impossible and state management, the hero's journey and secondary gain.
I'll also tell you about the time I got felt up by the smartest girl in school, why my testosterone levels are back on track and how my speaking fee just got out of hand.
And, as promised, here’s the link to episode 204 and to the Leverage Audiobook and Paperback
This episode goes out to all the dreamers who are living in the tension of knowing what they truly desire, but not yet seeing the fulfilment of these dreams in their life.
I know that feeling well. I often experience the suffering that comes from this kind of separation myself and have compiled a bunch of wisdom from the greats who've gone before us to help manage the disappointment of unrealised goals without this disappointment settling in your bones
Wisdom from the likes of:
Mark Manson, Jim Carey, Bill Bryson, Peter Drucker, Jesus and George Bernard Shaw.
This episode also address how to know if your ambitions are delusional and the physical anguish experienced at finals time if your beloved footy team loses.
I sometimes travel with my podcast mic so that I am able to capture moments of inspiration as they happen. This episode is the result of one such occasion while I was in Canberra last week. I instantly knew I had some important content to share, so stopped the car and hit record - and even though I was interrupted by some clown mocking the size of my microphone, I still managed to capture the essence of what I wanted to say.
In this episode you'll find out:
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What Tyler Durden has in common with her majesty the queen
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When it's ok to tell lies
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How I resolved 7 days of anxiety in 20 minutes while riding my bike, and
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The 5 most surprising qualities of genuinely good humans.
The golden thread.
The history of this term dates back to ancient Greek mythology, and it's a concept that I found myself drawing from at a coaching retreat this past weekend. In my darkest hours, I have always been able to find my way back to the source through this timeless wisdom. In this episode, I'll show you what this golden thread is and how you can use it in your life to great effect in your own hero’s journey.
Andrew Griffiths is best described as an entrepreneurial futurist - in other words he specialises in future proofing businesses across virtually every industry and in every corner of the planet. With 13 bestselling books sold in 65 countries (and he has just released his 14th book) and a client base that includes organisations such as the European Union, CBS, Hewlett Packard, Hertz and Telstra, to mention just a few of the 500 organisations he has worked with, he is clearly sought after to provide advice and wisdom for the smallest of businesses to the largest of organisations.
Andrew has proven himself to clearly be the No.1 business author in Australia and on top of all this, he is a genuinely good human and the real deal when it comes to business wisdom.
I’ve had to be patient to land this interview with Andrew, but it was definitely worth the wait. This is a wonderful conversation with a remarkable human. Listen in to the incredible story of how he got to be so successful against all the odds and in spite of a particularly difficult start to life.
Today's episode is about understanding the power of threshold moments.
You know, those moments where you feel like you've reached a crossroads in your life and can either continue on the path you're on or change direction.
Change may take a long time coming but the truth is, it always happens in these threshold moments.
On today's podcast episode I'll show you how to fast track these transformative threshold moments by learning to listen to your pain.
While pain is your most honest and loving voice, unfortunately most people would prefer to mask, medicate or manage it for fear of what listening to their pain would demand of them.
Listen in as I explain:
-How to actually be done with the things you hate, rather than just saying it over and over
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How to tell which pain to listen to and which to continue ignoring.
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Some old School Dr Phil Wisdom on the subject
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And why I’ve decided to continue manipulating you with sweet music.
Today's episode is all about why telling the truth is so damn hard. We all know it's important, but I’ll show why most people never find a way to speak accurately, honestly or with genuine awareness of what is actually happening in their life.
I’ll explain the 3 main reasons why telling the truth almost always costs you in the short term, but also why it is essential for maintaining your sense of self in the world.
In this week’s show I also cover:
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Will smith's latest failed apology attempt
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The problem with the ugly side of Christianity
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The misconception about the symptoms of anxiety
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And why my latest book probably won't win any awards or end up featuring in bookstores.
Oh…and there is some sweet gentle music for the entire episode to make it easier to hear the truth about telling the truth. So, you’re welcome.
If you're currently in the mid-life season wondering why you can't perform like you used to when you were young, but knowing you still have so much inside you still to give, this episode is for you.
You may be feeling as though something is broken or significantly wrong with you, but the simple truth is you just don't have permission from yourself to succeed any more.
None of us has the energy or time we had in our twenties and thirties, and we can't just work harder or longer anymore. We need a new approach if we want to keep doing what we love as adults.
This is my best thinking around the inevitable motivation and performance challenge every adult faces somewhere around the middle of their life.
In this episode, I'll show you the 4 conditions (and one key question) that will help you make the transition from self discipline to self permission so you can perform at a higher level than ever before.
If you've ever had a reoccurring dream that you've struggled to understand, you might find this particularly useful.
This episode is all about my own frequent dreams of arriving somewhere important only to embarrassingly discover I’d failed to put my pants on.
I'll show you the process of how I interpreted my own dream and and the frameworks I used to apply the important discoveries to my life as it continues to expand into new and exciting arenas.
This podcast episode is slightly different from my usual 10 minute Tuesday’s. I’m not teaching, or explaining anything today, instead I thought the most value I could add would be to tell the story of my experiences in the USA for the past week.
I hope you enjoy the telling of the story as much as I enjoyed the experience itself.
Welcome to another live coaching session.
These kind of podcast episodes are so rare simply because they are so special.
You have been given the absolute privilege of listening in to someone else’s vulnerable and transparent experience of working through their biggest challenges in the coaching space.
The decision to allow you access to this conversation is not made lightly by Leanne or I. This is a sacred space that is deeply personal. However we both felt that it would provide enormous benefit for others going through something similar.
If you are willing to respect the courage and authenticity involved here, then listen in and receive the gifts on offer.
Here is part 2 of the 15 success secrets!
On today’s podcast episode I’ll reveal the remaining 8 of these game changing secrets. If you missed the first 7, they are on episode 246 - Success Secrets part 1.
I’ve collected and consolidated the principles that have most transformed my life and allowed me to be successful in my health, finances, relationships and work. There are 15 keys that represent the very best that I have learnt in 42 years of living. There are all kinds of books written about success, but these are the 15 principles that have genuinely worked for me.
Everything I’m sharing in this episode is out of my own lived experience. Each of these success secrets have proved themselves transformational and true through the good times and the bad.
Even though life is hard, I'm convinced that to succeed in life is actually quite easy, because most people never will. You only have to do a few key things well, semi-consistently, some of the time, and it quickly separates you from the crowd.
Success is available to everyone—you just have to know where to look for it!
I'm super excited to share this podcast episode with you.
I’ve collected and consolidated the principles that have most transformed my life and allowed me to be successful in my health, finances, relationships and work. There are 15 keys that represent the very best that I have learnt in 42 years of living. There are all kinds of books written about success, but these are the 15 principles that have genuinely worked for me.
Everything I’m sharing in this episode is out of my own lived experience. Each of these success secrets have proved themselves transformational and true through the good times and the bad.
Even though life is hard, I'm convinced that to succeed in life is actually quite easy, because most people never will. You only have to do a few key things well, semi-consistently, some of the time, and it quickly separates you from the crowd.
Success is available to everyone—you just have to know where to look for it!
On today’s podcast episode I’ll reveal the first 7 of these game changing secrets. Stay tuned for part 2 next Tuesday.
It's no secret that we are always playing games, whether we like it or not. They might not be as obvious as a game of tennis or basketball, but they're there—and you've probably been invited to play them without knowing it.
The question is, are you playing the right games? If you don't know what games you are playing or are convinced that you are not playing games at all, then I guarantee you are not having a fun and successful experience of life.
In this episode, we'll look at 5 key's to sign up to the right games and understand how to give yourself the best chance of winning. Then I'll show you why winning is objectively better than losing—and how understanding this simple truth can help us get better at winning the games we most want to play.
If you're feeling stuck in a cycle of grief and sadness that seems to have no end—or no way out—you're not alone. Loss is inevitable, and sadness is a core human response to loss, so neither grief nor sadness are avoidable. The challenge is when this sadness becomes personal and full of judgment it tends to stick around indefinitely.
In this episode of 10 minute Tuesday I'll show you how to navigate the emotions of grief and sadness without allowing them to consume you or overwhelm you so that you are finally able to move on again.
If you are looking for a way to shortcut messy, circular, emotional and irrational conflict with key people in your world, this episode is for you.
Taken from chapter 7 in the Leverage book - How to change the people you love for all the right reasons and get the relationships you deserve, ‘be clear or be quiet’ really is a serious as it sounds!
Listen in to understand the full implications of this powerful statement, and reap the wonderful benefits for your most important relationships.
Need some tips on how to negotiate your differences with a friend, workmate or spouse? This podcast episode is for you!
Most people are terrified of conflict. The fear is that when two colleagues, teammates, or business partners want different things, it inevitably spells the end of the working relationship. Conflict is then seen as a major problem and to be avoided at all costs.
This is such a mistake.
Conflict is natural, necessary and unavoidable. It also provides perhaps life’s best opportunity for growth, development and progress.
When two adults appear to want different or even opposite things, this is exactly where the fun starts.
Find out where things are heading in 2022 and check out all the exciting new developments as the insecurity project evolves and grows internationally.
Do you find yourself wishing your childhood was somehow different, better, or just like someone else’s? Are you disappointed or upset about the way you were parented?
Or do you worry that your less than perfect parenting is ruining the life of your children?
You might be surprised to discover that perfect parents actually make things far harder for their children than those who do an average job.
This is the perfect parent paradox.
Understand exactly why this is true and what it means for your life on today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday.
My guest on this episode of the Insecurity project is Filipa Bellette
Filipa is Co-Founder of award-winning health practice Chris & Filly Functional Medicine. She is an accredited Clinical Nutritionist & Functional Medicine. She is also a PhD Scholar, writer & regularly featured in the media.
Together with her husband Chris Bellette, Filipa has worked with over 2,000+ busy, burned-out clients in the past combined 20+ years. They were recently awarded as the Tasmanian State Winner for the Telstra Best of Business Awards 2022 in the category Accelerating Women, as well as Highly Commended in the ATMS Natural Medicine Clinic of the Year Awards 2021.
Listen in as Filipa shares openly about how she had navigated her own insecurities to get where she is today in business, motherhood, marriage and life.
If you find yourself in the 35-45 change window, now is the perfect time to conduct a thorough review of all areas of life.
On today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday, I’ll step you through the key’s to doing this review work as effectively as possible and show you the essential areas to include in the review.
The value of doing this work in this season of life is that it gives you clear eyes to see what to double down on, and what to modify, improve or eradicate all together.
Memory and Imagination are without a doubt two of the most powerful and wonderful characteristics of being human. Yet as Sadhguru points out, most people use these abilities to torture themselves and create significant suffering in their lives.
Neither the past nor the future exist except in our memory or imagination, so that means this is also where the suffering exists.
On today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday, I’ll show you how to utulise the technology of your memory and imagination in a way that ends this unnecessary suffering and leads to life instead.
In computer science, garbage in, garbage out is the concept that flawed, or nonsense input data produces nonsense output. The principle also applies more generally to all analysis and logic, in that arguments are unsound if their premises are flawed.
On this episode of 10 minute Tuesday, I’ll show you how this concept applies to the self awareness journey and the big mistakes most people make when trying to search for the origin of their deepest fears about themselves.
I’ll also show you how to increase the quality of your self directed questions, how to get better at diagnosing core issues and how to find the data that matters most when looking to overcome insecurity for good.
On today’s edition of 10 minute Tuesday, I unpack Hal Elrods miracle equation to show you that miracles aren’t always as magic as they seem. Hal beautifully deconstructs ‘miraculous’ achievements, results and performances to show that there is a way of thinking clearly about how these things actually happen that can be replicated.
This episode is especially for two types of people:
Those who are wholeheartedly committed to seeing extraordinary and miraculous things happen in their life, but are battle weary and almost out of hope that the breakthrough will ever actually arrive.
Those who feel their only hope for life to improve is an external miracle.
Both categories of people will benefit greatly from understanding Hal’s miracle equation.
I’ll also show you the importance of radical acceptance of your current situation and then the clear path to experiencing the life you truly desire.
Have you ever wondered why it seems that many people prefer to stay in the dark, hiding in wilfulness ignorance and choosing their dysfunction over health and healing?
Why is this so?
This is the one of the questions I get asked most frequently, and over the years I have often been bewildered as to why this appears to be true.
Check out today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday to explore this issue with me and discover what, if anything, to do about this phenomenon.
(Note: I had a few glasses of wine before recording this episode, which may account for the way in which I approached this delicate subject…)
Someone has to go first.
I’m not sure two people are ever fully ready for change at the same time.
When problems arise between two people who care about each other, something must be done to clean the space again. If nothing is done things naturally get worse.
While both parties are impacted deeply, people always have different tolerances to relationship pain.
Some can cope with unresolved issues longer than others, but most people are just scared and ill-equiped. They don’t like what’s going on but have no idea how to fix it.
The leverage model is the framework for those with the readiness and courage to go first.
Those who may hate conflict, but hate tension with those they love even more.
Those who know the relationship is worth fighting for but just don’t now how to fight for it.
This is the roadmap for how to fix things with those you love.
On today’s podcast I want to talk to those people who are ready to go first. If you are going to fight for change, you will need more than just courage and determination, it must be the right kind of change, for all the right reasons with the right tools.
Let me show you how.
In the Buddhist teachings, the three poisons of aversion, attachment and ignorance are shown to be the primary causes of people trapped in suffering. They are also the root of all of the other mental states that cloud the mind and manifest in unwholesome actions. The three poisons are represented in the hub of the wheel of life as a pig, a bird, and a snake.
On today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday, I’ll show you why these three poisons are part of the pain of unnecessary suffering in the world and how to replace them with generosity, loving kindness and wisdom instead.
Have you ever wondered why most people lose the sense of child like wonder when they stop being a child? Why does life all of a sudden have to become so serious and hard?
This conundrum has a lot to do with safety. Life stops being safe, and so we no longer have energy available for wonder.
This means in order to get wonder back, you also have to find safety again. The problem with this is that while safety for a child is provided entirely externally, an adults sense of safety must come from within.
You guessed it…The lack of wonder is an another aspect of the insecurity problem.
To have energy for wonder, it must be safe. But In order to have a sense of safety, you must be secure.
On today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday, I’ll talk you through this process in detail and show you 4 reasons why having a sense of child like wonder will totally change your experience of life being so hard.
Daniel Sih interview.
Daniel is the co-founder of Spacemakers®, a productivity consulting group for busy leaders.
His new book "Spacemaker - how to unplug, unwind and think clearly in the digital age," won the Australian Business Book Award in 2021 for personal development, and was finalist for best technology book.
On this episode of the podcast, Daniel shares his wisdom about the importance of contemplation and community for being in the right space to overcome insecurity.
Daniel is a remarkable human who embodies his relevant and timely message.
For more information about his work got to https://spacemakers.com.au
Destiny is a word that I haven’t used for at least 10 years. But, as you can see, it is not only back in my vocabulary but back in my awareness in a big way.
On today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday I’ll tell you about a profound experience I had that realigned me with my destiny and filled me with certainty about who I am and where I’m heading. I’ll also step you through 4 keys that will help you do the same and show you exactly why insecurity is the number 1 enemy to any of us fulfilling our potential and purpose in this lifetime.
Understanding the law of entropy has been my most favourite discovery of the last 12 months. Quite simply, entropy means that all things move toward disorder. Left unchecked, the disorder of a system always increases over time. This is the second law of thermodynamics and it is universally true. While this might sound very bleak and leave you to fear that this means everything will always get worse rather than better, entropy is actually one of the most wonderful and beneficial aspects of the world we find ourselves in.
In today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday I’ll show you how this law impacts every area of life and how we can use this knowledge to our advantage in the pursuit of happiness and purposeful living.
This is the first 10 minute Tuesday for 2022.
On today’s episode, you’ll see that you can’t have success without security.
Success can only be true if you get to keep it. If it is fleeting, how is it success?
What is the point of chasing something if as soon as you grasp it, it evaporates right before your eyes?
If you are paranoid that you will be found out as an imposter, you’ll simply anticipate the moment it you’ll lose it all anyway.
If all your attention is on looking over your shoulder for the person who is going to better you and steal your crown, then what is the point of getting to the top in the first place?
If you fear you don’t really deserve it, you’ll convince yourself your success is fake. No matter what you achieve it will be hollow.
If you are insecure about your shortcomings, then you will be far more focussed on what you haven’t done than what you have. You’ll only downplay your achievements and make them count for nothing.
If you believe you are not enough, then whatever you’ve achieved, no matter how spectacular it is, will not be enough either.
To solve the success problem, you have to solve the insecurity problem first.
It is only when you come to accept your great inherent value and worth separate from your achievements and performance that you get to keep your success for good. You now have nothing to prove or defend. This alone allows you to see yourself as truly successful and genuinely enjoy the wins you’ve worked so hard to achieve.
One of the central themes of the Insecurity project is to dial down the angst people normally associate with facing their deepest fears about themselves. When the insecurity problem is accurately understood for what it really is, there are a number of surprising, amusing and even hilarious discoveries that make solving the insecurity problem far less daunting than imagined.
This podcast episode is the final instalment for season 2021 and aims to highlight the funniest things about eradicating the fear of not being good enough from your life.
As an end of year bonus, I’ve also ticked off a 5 year bucket list item by doing my first 5 minutes of stand up comedy material at the end of this episode! You’re welcome…
My guest on the show today is Ronsley Vaz.
He is the founder of the award-winning audio marketing agency Must Amplify whose clients are some of the world's most impactful actors, entrepreneurs, athletes, artists & politicians.
Ronsley is an artist, entrepreneur, author, academic, chef and, more famously a podcaster. He’s interviewed over 1400 people on his show ‘Bond Appetite’ & has been listened to over 5 million times in 133 countries.
Ronsley is also the executive producer of The ‘Psychology of Entrepreneurship podcast’ and host of ‘Should I start a Podcast.’
One this episode Ronsley shares very personally about the highs and lows of his own entrepreneurial journey and talks about how it sometimes necessary to borrow other people’s confidence in you until you find your own.
10 minute Tuesday - Pragmatism
Pragmatism as a life philosophy isan approach that evaluates theories or beliefs in terms of the success of their practical application.
The central question pragmatic people are most concerned with, is always how well something is working and then how could it work even better?
There are great advantages to taking a pragmatic approach to life and it definitely makes the list of the top 5 most surprising qualities of genuinely good human beings.
On today’s podcast episode, I’ll show you the 5 most important areas of life to be pragmatic about.
I’ve also got some super exciting news about the launch party for the Insecurity App which is being released on the 1st of December.
Listen in to find out all the details.
Rana Kordahi is a Sales Coach, NLP Practitioner, Writer, TEDx Speaker and Top 10 Female Sales Coach in 2020 by as voted by Yahoo Finance.
She has trained and coached thousands of sales and non salespeople in the art of sales, influence, mindset, leadership and personal development.
She is also a remarkably sharp social and political commentator, and has used her significant LinkedIn following to speak courageously about the current crisis of leadership in this pandemic season.
In this conversation Rana shares her great insights into the interplay between insecurity and selling, highlighting the importance of developing confidence with integrity.
Rana also shares very personally about the impact of growing up in war-torn Lebanon before moving to Australia, and her views on where our political leaders have failed us in selling their policies through coercion, bullying and trickery.
This is a wonderful conversation with a truly remarkable human being.
10 minute Tuesday - The problem with vulnerability
While vulnerability is often celebrated as a central component in ending the stigma around mental health, there are 3 big reasons why it is only making things worse. Vulnerability definitely has value as an entry point into the transformation process, yet it is commonly used as an end in itself which then validates, solidifies, and rewards personal dysfunction.
The only real value of vulnerability is for you to be able to see your disfunction clearly enough to change it. The aim of the game is to become less dysfunctional and yet the culturally celebrated vulnerability movement only seems to give people more reason to hold onto their dysfunction and resit getting help in a way that genuinely transforms them.
Listen in to understand more about how vulnerability is supposed to work so that you can avoid the vulnerability trap.
David Neagle is the founder of the multimillion-dollar global coaching company Life Is Now, Inc, and host of the Business News Dailyranked podcast - The Successful Mind.
On this episode I talk to David about where his personal development journey all started and discover the most important lessons he’s learnt along the way, culminating in the extraordinary ‘Law of more life’ which sums up David’s philosophy of success as a spiritual path better than anything else:
“The universe does not withhold anything from you. The next thing you need for growth and advancement is always provided for you, so what are you resisting or avoiding of afraid of?”
We also chat about his interactions with Tony Robbins at the beginning if his career all the way to going into business with one of the fathers of the modern life mastery movement, Bob Proctor.
This is a wonderful conversation with a great man who has helped thousands of people change their life for the better over the last 25 years.
10 Minute Tuesday - How to hack your own biochemistry.
How often do you find yourself in a strong state and feel you have no ability to alter it?
Your body is one giant chemistry set with a range of well designed signals and triggers that activate various chemical sequences to create certain emotional and physical states.
When you discover how the bio chemical world works, it gives you more agency over your own experience of life instead of being caught up in physical and emotional experiences that you have no control over.
The purpose of this episode is for you to understand that you can adjust your levels of dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, cortisol and even the PH levels and endorphins in your blood.
Obviously there is so much to learn under this broad topic, but this 10 minutes will give you a fun introduction into the subject and whet your appetite for more.
Christopher Avery is the founder and CEO of the Responsibility company. He is the author of 'Teamwork is an individual skill' and 'The Responsibility Process' and is known as the Responsibility guy.
On the podcast today we explore the 5 stages of the responsibility process, which has been Christopher’s life work, and how it directly relates to overcoming insecurity.
This is a wonderful conversation with a truly remarkable human being about the way responsibility sets us free to get more of what we truly desire in life.
10 minute Tuesday - Quid pro quo. Discovering all the hidden transactions in your life.
This Latin phrase is literally translated as - What for what, something for something, this for that.
Life is one big series of quid pro quo’s. We only do what works. Everything has some kind of transactional base, but most people are completely unaware of how these transactions really work.
This phrase has become another one of the most useful pieces of language I’ve ever added to my vocabulary because it helps to bring all the transactions of life into the light rather than having them remain hidden.
On today’s podcast episode I’ll show you the importance of understanding ‘what’s-in-it-for-me’ and ‘what’s-in-it-for-them’ so that you too can bring all of your hidden transactions into the light.
To do so is to greatly improve the quality of your relationships. Otherwise these hidden transactions breed obligation, expectation and resentment and cause you to behave in ways that violate your values.
10 minute Tuesday - Why adding more reverence to your life will change you forever.
The word reverence has been the most important addition to my vocabulary for 2021. In many ways this word has saved me in the midst of a particularly difficult year.
To have reverence for something is to understand and acknowledge the great value it has and to treat it as something truly remarkable. It is also to bring deep respect and a sense of wonder to the way you interact with it.
Perhaps the most important application of this idea is in your relationship with yourself. Until you treat your own life with reverence, you will find that no one else treats you this way either.
Listen in to today’s podcast episode to understand more about what it means to live with reverence for the life within you and all around you.
10 minute Tuesday - The 5 most surprising qualities of genuinely good humans.
The central ambition of my life is to be a good human being and to contribute to the world in a way that helps others do the same.
Each of us have this capacity within us, yet many people will get caught in the various traps and challenges this life presents us with and therefore never reach their full potential. Worse still, their human experience may bring great suffering to themselves and those around them.
On today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday, I’ll show you 5 key attributes that when combined produce the qualities of a good human being. Listen in to discover the most important component for you to develop in your life right now.
‘No child escapes their childhood without some kind of woundedness.’
Each one of us develop limiting beliefs about ourselves based on personalising the negative experiences of our past. Even perfect parents do not protect their children from becoming hurt in some way.
In today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday, I’ll show you why woundedness is not only something to be grateful for but why it also holds the gift of strength and growth for your adult life.
But first, following on from my take on the current global pandemic situation in the last episode, here is an optimistic view of how it will all end.
What does The Insecurity Project have to offer the world in these Covid 19 times?
Find out why the future of the planet depends upon the average person solving the insecurity problem in their life and then forcing the financial and political elite to do the same.
That's right, things get a little political on this podcast episode because they must.
Find out the 5 things we all must do to guarantee our freedom in these dangerous and difficult times.
If you've been following the content and conversation from The Insecurity Project for any length of time, it is important for you to get a picture of where things are heading and what is in it for you.
Listen in to the live, one on one coaching session with Christina to see how she works though the challenge of stepping into her own business again after a previous failed attempt and not being obsessed with what others think about her.
Nikhil Badkundri - Insecurity and sport
Nikhil is a Melbourne based peak performance sports psychologist who has combined a background in the corporate world with his training in mental health and sports psychology to create a robust researched backed performance mindset program, anchored on the performance equation. He believes, every athlete or sports professional has it in them to access their peak performance state in any given situation, his work is to draw that out.
On this episode we explore the mental aspect of all things sport and how insecurity impacts peak performance for amateur and professional athletes alike.
Whether you are a weekend warrior for your local club or have aspirations of representing your country at the highest level, I’m sure you’ll find plenty of gold in this conversation to take your game to the next level.
10 Minute Tuesday - Daddy Issues.
Everyone has daddy issues, because everyone has a dad.
A touchy subject, but an important one.
This is not aimed at blaming or vilifying anyones father, rather to shine a light the importance of the father role and relationship in our lives as children so that we can free ourselves to become better adults.
Today’s episode will help you explore the impact of the strengths and weaknesses of your dad and how that is still affecting the way you do relationships today.
10 minute Tuesday - How to change limiting beliefs
All challenges, limitations and gaps in your life are present in the form of a belief. Therefore, there is little use focussing your effort on behaviour management strategies as behaviour is simply the end of the assembly line in the factory of your core beliefs.
To change your results, you must change your beliefs instead.
Here is the exact framework for how to identify and change any belief that is currently standing between you and the life you desire.
Joanne Schonheim is a world class sales expert, mother of two daughters and author of the soon to be released “The Secret Sisterhood of Miserable Mothers” The book is a guide on how to identify and dismantle the shame around resenting modern motherhood, reclaim your identity, and start living life on your own terms - unapologetically.
In today's interview you get to hear about how Jo came to write this book from her own painful journey of miserable motherhood. You’ll also hear a powerful message of hope, of how things can be radically different for women, and particularly mothers from all walks of life.
If you are already a mother, or about to become one soon, you won't want to miss this fantastic episode.
According to Websters dictionary, love is "an intense feeling of deep affection."
Analyse the mechanics of deep love and you’ll discover that it is not as selfless as you imagine. It is all about the intense feeling of deep affection YOU have for someone else.
The key question then is: what is unconditional love? Does it exist in the real world? If there are no conditions is it actually love?
To have no conditions on someone else’s behaviour means they can do whatever they like to you and you must still remain affectionate towards them. That is not actually loving towards you or them!
If you still believe you do love that person in spite of their terrible treatment of you, you have confused love for something else entirely.
Check out today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday to gain an accurate understanding of true love for yourself and others.
How to gamify your life.
Gamification is to apply the principle and design of games to in non-game contexts. That means seeing areas of your life like a game when they normally appear much more serious than that.
The advantage of using the metaphor of the game is that it can give you access to ways of thinking about your life that are normally unavailable to you. New thinking unlocks change, progress and breakthroughs.
On today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday I’ll show you how to gamify the parts of your life where you are currently stuck, so that you can move forward again.
Brian McLarren describes the dire predicament many people find themselves in as the 4 separations.
Due to their choices, many people end up disconnected from God, from the planet, from other people and also from themselves.
Interestingly, if you only focus on fixing one of these separations you end up as part of the problem and become disconnected from reality as well.
To be a good human requires reconnecting with all 4 areas starting with the connection with yourself.
Listen to today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday to understand how to overcome the 4 separations and to reconnect with all that truly matters.
When it comes to building quality relationships, most people would assume that trust is the highest priority. However hoping someone will do the right thing by you because you trust them not to is far from a fail-safe strategy for relationship health.
Although it may seem to be impossible, trust joins self discipline and accountability on the list of overrated personal development concepts.
On today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday, I’ll show you the one thing that supersedes trust as the most powerful relationship driver.
Agency is defined as the capacity to act independently and to make our own free choices. It is to have the freedom to set the course for your own life and the personal power to act in a way that moves you in that direction.
However, while it is logical for every adult to have a sense of agency of their own affairs, most people have given this power away and are living affected by someone or something else’s agency over their life instead
Interestingly, this is almost invariably because of the mistakes made the first time you tried to take control of your own life as a teenager or young adult.
On today's episode of 10 minute Tuesday, I’ll show you the 5 things every adult must do in order to take their power back and exercise full agency over their own life in healthy and mature way.
Have you ever noticed that you can be quite a different person depending on who you are talking to, what task you are performing and what clothes you are wearing?
The truth is, we each have a range of different characters inside us that have been developed in different seasons for different roles and to achieve certain goals.
The who’s at your table exercise (introduced to me by Greg Bellingham) is a great way to invite each of these characters to have a seat and a voice so that you are able to understand and use them more effectively.
Find out exactly who is at your table on today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday.
Are you afraid of death or have you pushed the thought of it so far away that you don’t even think about it all?
Both these things are a form of psychological immaturity and while you are avoiding death you are also inadvertently avoiding life as well.
Find out the importance of a healthy view of death and what is has to do with the insecurity problem on today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday.
Johnny is the Founder and CEO of the international branding and marketing firm, Mantra Media, and the Co-Founder of the Japanese luxury retail brand, Atelier Japan.
He is also an Ambassador for (IIC) Investors in Community, a fellow of the Royal Society of Arts and Commerce, a Guest Chair for the Intelligence Forums, and a member of Deloitte's Climate Action Coalition.
On this episode of the insecurity project podcast, Johnny shares his remarkable story of growing up in one of the poorest parts of England surrounded by crime, violence and drug abuse to where he is now an extraordinarily successful entrepreneur and philanthropist creating widespread social change and doing good in the world.
You can find out more about Johnny at https://www.linkedin.com/in/mantramarketing/
Are you an Empath, or are you actually just sacred, needy and like rescuing people?
Listen in to understand the three biggest reasons why labels like this are never a good idea and how to break free from the label of Empath so you can actually be useful to others.
Nicole is a leading global brand strategist, thought leader brand specialist, profile expert, design thinking methodologist, international keynote speaker, founder and business director of her organisation Brand True North.
I’m a huge fan of her work and this was such a great conversation on the subject of passion and purpose.
There is a bunch of great value in this interview and a wide range of subjects covered including:
The 4 quadrants of Ikigai
Discovering your passion, purpose, skills and talents and then answering the most important question - What doe the world need from me?
Money is the reward you get for accurately understanding your value to the world
It is never too late to have a happy childhood - Berkeley Breathed
The 3 ways to discover your life purpose.
Uncovering your value story.
To download your free Passion versus Purpose Playbook visit brandtruenorth.com'
No matter how wonderful it is to have kids, It is not your life’s purpose to be a parent.
When parenting and purpose get linked as one and the same, it is always dangerous for the family unit. This means you will inadvertently be using your children to validate your existence, meet your psychological needs and protect you from your deepest fears.
It cannot be your purpose to be a parent, any more than it can be your child’s purpose to be your kid.
Children are a gift for a season. You have an opportunity to enjoy them, bless them, equip them for adulthood and release them to be their own person.
Find out how to break out of the parenting for purpose trap on today's episode of 10 minute Tuesday.
Have you ever wondered what it is about big milestone events that give us more ability to change our life?
Does turning 21, 30, 40, or 50 have some kind of magic transformation power, or is it also possible to change your life at 2:31pm on a Wednesday afternoon when it’s not even your birthday?
Listen in to today's episode of 10 minute Tuesday to understand the psychology behind the tendency to wait for arbitrary milestones and how to capitalise on your innate ability to make change whenever you are ready instead.
Although most people seem terrified about going back into the unresolved pain, fear and woundedness of their childhood, unless you go back and rescue the child you will be impacted by that woundedness in every area of life.
On today’s 10 minute Tuesday episode I’ll show you the three big fears that stop adults going back into their past and how to move beyond them in order to effectively rescue the child.
Listen in as I unpack this vital aspect of fully becoming an adult and resolving all insecurity in your life.
There are some that hope there is more to life than just what we can see with our eyes, yet the spiritual reality they seek is as an escape from their current life. As such it is always beyond their grasp in the here and now.
There are others who know that life is spiritual simply because they have experienced it and live from this truth as their ever present reality. It is not seperate from their life, it is the essence of their life!
The only way to to have this kind of spirituality however, is to work out how to be fully human first.
True success is a deeply spiritual journey. There is no other way to describe it.
Listen in as I unpack what this means for you on today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday.
Life coaching session - Jaemin coaching Melissa
The purpose of sharing this live session on the podcast is to allow you to try on the coaching process without having to become more vulnerable.
It is a wonderful chance to see the power of life coaching first hand in someone else’s life so that you are able to see what is possible for your own life.
So are you really special or not?
Interestingly, the things most people assume are special about themselves are not special at all, and the things that they fear are not special, are in fact incredibly special!
Find out how to understand your own specialness correctly on today's episode of 10 minute Tuesday.
Life coaching session - Jaemin coaching Dale
The purpose of sharing this live session on the podcast is to allow you to try on the coaching process without having to become more vulnerable.
It is a wonderful chance to see the power of life coaching first hand in someone else’s life so that you are able to see what is possible for your own life.
Insecurity and book writing.
Have you ever dreamt of writing a book, but been held back by doubt, fear and insecurity? This conversation is definitely for you.
Putting yourself out there as an author is a daunting thing. For many people the risk of failure, judgment or inadequacy proves to be an obstacle they never overcome, and so the world misses out on receiving their work.
Listen in as I chat with book publishing legend Michael Hanrahan about his own experience of overcoming insecurity and how aspiring authors can do the same.
Michael Hanrahan is the founder and owner of Publish Central, the leading provider of non-fiction self-publishing services in Australia. He helps authors create high-quality books that help people stand out from their competitors, set them up as the experts in their field, and help them promote their businesses to a wider audience.
Michael has been featured on radio and podcasts, in magazines and in The Huffington Post, and has written a book and a practical guide on how to self-publish. He is also a regular presenter at the annual Small Press Network conference and co-founder of the Australian Business Book Awards.
The only way to remove all internal resistance is to satisfy the conditions of your safety officer. For success to be sustainable, it must also be safe.
On today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday I’d love to help you get to know your safety officer and discover they are not your enemy.
“Don’t change the people you love” may be the single worst relationship advice ever given.
The truth is; if you don’t change those you love they’ll annoy the shit out of you, and you’ll end up hating them.
The thing about relationships is that they inevitably lead us into conflict. In the process of getting to know someone, beyond the initial honeymoon period where everyone is perfect and on their best behaviour, there arises moments of discord, that annoy, frustrate or offend.
In these pivotal moments, there are only 2 choices. Move through the conflict effectively toward intimacy or become blocked by the conflict and diverge toward an arrangement. Either there is nothing between you, or there is stuff between you. Intimacy or arrangement. How you handle conflict determines which one it will be.
All effective conflict resolution comes down to one word. Leverage. Either you fight with leverage or without it. With leverage you move through conflict to intimacy. Without leverage you get stopped and diverge at conflict and move into arrangements.
While the concept of leverage is basic and straight forward, the process of acquiring true leverage is difficult. There are five key components to gaining leverage within your most important relationships and therefore having the ability to effectively change the people you love.
Listen in to today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday to find out exactly what these 5 concepts are and how to apply them to your relationships.
The final instalment of the 5 part series on unnecessary suffering. This week I’m addressing the suffering experienced by not living out your life’s purpose.
The existential crisis experienced when people question whether their lives have meaning, purpose, or value, can lead to some of the most intense suffering humanly possible.
Often, the alternative seems to be to either shut down the purpose question altogether or else spend your life serving someone else’s purpose.
On today’s episode I’ll show you how this kind of suffering is in fact unnecessary and exactly how to avoid it.
What does your face say about you?
In this conversation Melanie will share what each of your facial features represent in terms of your personality traits & behaviours, and how learning to read and understand your body can help you become more confident with your every day decision making.
We also explore the world of Chakras and examine how your body gives clues as to the key personal development work you need to do to continue growing in life and business.
You can find out more about the work of Melanie Midegs here:
www.seedtosoul.com.au
Working a job that you hate is the very definition of unnecessary suffering.
Eventually your job is supposed to suck, but the great news is that this is not a work problem, it is an insecurity one…And insecurity is a problem you have complete ability to solve for good.
Find out how to stop suffering unnecessarily in your work on today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday.
How to stop suffering in your health.
Find out why patterns of injury and illness, carrying extra kilos and weird health stuff that doctors can’t seem to diagnose - all fall under the heading of unnecessary suffering when it comes to your health.
If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, this podcast episode is for you!
Are you aware that your financial difficulties actually have nothing to do with money itself?
When it comes to their financial situation, many people suffer greatly in this area simply due to the way their limiting beliefs and fears about themselves show up here.
Find out how to stop all unnecessary suffering in your finances on today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday.
Not all suffering is equal. Some suffering is unavoidable and is fact an important part of the process of character development. Then there is suffering that comes from making avoidable mistakes and not growing our capacity to handle the challenges of life.
When it comes to relationships, there are plenty of opportunities for both kinds of suffering.
On today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday I’ll unpack 7 of the key areas suffering unfolds when you show up to your relationships with unresolved insecurity.
Thankfully this kind of suffering is entirely avoidable. I’ll show you how to do just that too.
Normally I'm always banging on about the need to solve the insecurity problem in your life, but today I'm highlighting the 3 biggest reasons NOT to stop being insecure.
The truth about insecurity is that it in certain seasons it provides incredible value and plays a very important role in your life.
Are you really sure you are ready to stop being insecure?
On today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday I’ll show you all the upsides to being insecure in case you want to stop being insecure without milking all its benefits.
The human condition is this:
We want to be good, but are afraid that we are bad.
Therefore, we avoid living and dying, loving and trying.
We run away from what is real incase that reality reveals our true nature and that nature proves to be bad.
This is the central drama of our existence, and the underlying cause of all dysfunction and suffering.
Thankfully there is an antidote to this great problem. On today’s Episode of 10 minute Tuesday, I’ll show you the only way out of this dilemma.
Are you hiding in plain sight?
The safest place to hide is always where no one thinks to look. Hiding in plain sight is to appear to not even be hiding at all. You deceive others and more importantly you even deceive yourself
That is exactly why it works so well!
I know that no one wants to be called out especially while they are hiding, but I can get away with it because I have no agenda other than to help you see what is real. I also know that if you are only hiding it is only because you are afraid.
On today’s episode I’ll show you the 3 most commonly used hide outs, and also why it is safe to come out of hiding for good and step into the light.
The final 10 minute Tuesday episode for the year!
So much about the problem of insecurity is created and sustained simply through imprecise language. Yet, as Jordan Peterson so cleverly says, our world becomes radically different when we are precise in our speech instead.
Listen in to see how this one simple idea is the only way in to the process of truly overcoming your insecurity.
If you are not committed to living out the vision you have for your life, then you will inevitably be serving someone else’s vision for your life. These are the only 2 options.
Here are 20 things that have helped me not only get clear about what I want for my life, but to become the kind of person who could see these dreams become reality.
If you feel stuck somewhere on your vision quest, I’m sure you’ll find this useful.
My guest on the podcast today is Isiah McKimmie
Isiah is a Couples Therapist, Sex Therapist, Sexologist and Coach who has been helping women and couples discover intimacy and connection for over a decade.
One of Australia’s most qualified Sex and Relationship Experts, she holds a Masters degree in Relational Psychotherapy, a Master degree in Science in Medicine (Sexual Counselling/Psychosexual Therapy), a Post-Graduate Diploma of Sexology and a Certificate from the prestigious Institute for the Advanced Studies of Human Sexuality.
In the conversation on the subject of insecurity and sexuality we cover a wide range of topics including: - Dealing with the impact of sexual abuse
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The impact a repressed sexuality has on other areas of life
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How your beliefs and fears about yourself show up in the bedroom
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Growing together as a couple - Sex as life force energy
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The problem of pornography as sex education
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Talking to your kids about sex
People suffer greatly for not knowing how to talk about sex, so I'm sure you'll find Isiah's approach to the subject refreshingly honest and useful.
Did you realise that 80% of your success in any area of life comes from only 20% of your efforts?
Based on the brilliant 80/20 principle book by Richard Koch, find out the 20% effort that is guaranteed to yield 80% of your results when it comes to overcoming insecurity.
The 4 A’s of transformation
On the Podcast today. Brian and Carrie unpack their exquisite 4A’s of transformation model.
I first came across their work 4 years ago and this one idea instantly changed my life. It has become the central idea from which I do all coaching work and is a beautiful summary of how anyone has ever and will ever transform their life. This model is referenced on page 121 of my latest book. Unhindered - The seven essential practices for overcoming insecurity.
Check out our short and sharp conversation about the 4 A’s off transformation to make sure you are accurately applying this model to your life.
If jealousy is ruining your life, here is how to stop being jealous today.
The problem with jealousy is that it positions you as a victim with no power to improve the quality of your life. It stops your dead in your tracks and leaves you stuck right where you are.
Here are the 3 key questions to move you out of jealousy back into responsibility so you continue moving closer to the life you truly desire again:
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Do I really want what they have? (Is it actually as good as it looks?)
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Could I really handle what they have? (Would having what they have actually ruin me at this stage in my life?)
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What must they believe about themselves to have what they have? (What must I believe about myself to not have what they have?)
Check out the full episode to see how these questions apply to you.
According to father of modern management theory, Peter Drucker, "Productivity consists of NOT doing anything that helps the work of other people but to spend all one's time on the work that the Good Lord has fitted one to do and to do well."
However, in order to have that much laser focus about your work in the world, means first dealing with issues around: - People pleasing, assertiveness, clarity about your purpose and spending all your time and energy working for someone else.
Until you solve these problems, you will always be productive for others rather than living the life you were designed for.
Listen in to today's episode of 10mt to find out how to live a more productive life.
My guest today is Joel Primus.
Joel is a former elite long distance runner turned entrepreneur. He is the founder and creative visionary behind Naked Underwear. He helped raise over $17 million, establishing retail distribution at Holt Renfrew, Nordstrom, Hudson’s Bay, and Bloomingdales. Naked completed a merger with Australian-based industry powerhouse, Bendon Lingerie, exiting in 2018. Recently, Joel co-founded Kosan, a travel clothing company which launched one of the most successful Kickstarter apparel products of all time—reaching nearly $1 million in sales in 30 days. He was one of the inaugural BC Business top 30 under 30 Entrepreneurs and is also an author and award winning documentary filmmaker.
In this great conversation we cover these topics and many more:
Michael Jordan’s legacy
Comfortable underwear
Insecurity as rocket fuel in your 20’s
Breaking the attachment of identity and performance
Finding yourself through failure
Meeting Dwayne Wade
You can find out more about Joel here.
joelprimus.com
The aim of the game is to be fully human. It is to achieve our potential and each bring our unique gift to the planet while increasing the collective conciseness of humanity.
To experience the wonder and richness of being alive, requires the optimisation of every part of life. Otherwise we run the risk of having a very small experience of life or missing the magic altogether!
Everything can be optimised, however the first and most important piece of the puzzle to optimise is our own story telling.
Seeing overcoming insecurity as the opportunity for optimising your human experience makes it feel like a 'less to more' transaction. (Less to more is explained in ep 92) This dials down the fear and angst often associated with deep change work, and allows you to relax into the process.
Listen in to today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday to understand more about how this optimisation works.
My guest today is the wonderful Michael Bungay Stanier.
Michael is at the forefront of shaping how organizations around the world make being coach-like an essential leadership behavior and competency. His book The Coaching Habit is the best-selling coaching book of this century, with over 700,000 copies sold and 1,000+ five-star reviews on Amazon. In 2019, he was named the #1 thought leader in coaching, and was shortlisted for the coaching prize by Thinkers50, the “Oscars of management”. Michael was the first Canadian Coach of the Year and has been named a Global Coaching Guru since 2014. He was a Rhodes Scholar.
I’ve hassled Michael to be on my show for nearly 3 years and so am incredibly excited to finally be able to bring you this interview. His book is an absolute favourite of mine and is essential reading
This was a particularly enjoyable conversation and covered a wide range of perspectives on how to understand and deal with insecurity. Here are some of the great topics we explored:
Story telling
The cleft pallet advantage
The paradox of being important and insignificant at the same time.
The definition of great coaching
The value of reading more fiction
How astronauts can help us think more clearly
The darwinian value of insecurity
You can find out more about Michael and subscribe to ‘The year of living brilliantly’ for FREE here: https://www.mbs.works
Your relationship with money is one of the clearest windows to look through to examine your relationship with yourself. In fact for those starting out in the personal development journey it is a perfect place to start.
In today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday I’ll show you how to develop a very happy relationship with money out of the overflow of a happy relationship with yourself.
The moment you see insecurity as a predictable problem with a predictable solution, the game has changed in your favour forever!
As such, If I’m allowed to have a favourite part of my own book, this would be it:
“Your behaviour is not nearly as weird, broken, messy, or random as you think. Behaviour is simply the end of the assembly line produced by the factory of your beliefs. What’s more, your behaviour never lies. It is an incredibly accurate representation of your beliefs. People think they believe all kinds of wonderful things, but what must you believe in order to behave that way?
If you see that your behaviour is part of a well-constructed system, it takes all the mystery out of the process of self-awareness. System thinking turns the work of personal transformation into a clear scientific process. If our behaviour is a system, then there must be a design. If there is a design, then there is a strategy. If there is a strategy, there is an intention. If there is an intention, it can be observed. If it can be observed, it can be deconstructed. If it can be deconstructed, it can be changed. If it can be changed, it can be improved and reconstructed!
Of course, and you love this!
Of course, you are stuck, broke, unhappy, anxious, depressed, lonely, and/or overweight. What’s the problem? That’s the exact result you’ve designed your system to produce. At some point in time, to solve a problem or meet a need, you’ve created a strategy, designed a system and built a process to get you a clear result. Often that strategy is built around avoiding pain, being safe, or protecting yourself from what you are most afraid of. The point is, it is still working the way you designed it to. And it will continue to keep producing the same results until you change the blinkin’ thing. Of course!
There is no judgment here, but this system is not broken. To take this even further, part of you loves the exact results you are producing right now. When you are willing to stop pretending your results are such a mystery and start examining the system you have lovingly created for yourself, you give yourself an incredible amount of power to change these very results. You love this. If you didn’t, you would have already changed it.
People
Work
Perfectly.
You already are responsible.”
(Unhindered. The 7 essential practices for overcoming insecurity. P.117-118)
Do you have friends and family that find it difficult or even impossible to accept your compliments?
Do you struggle to accept compliments yourself?
On today's episode of 10 minute episode I'll show you exactly why people can't accept compliments and the two things that need to happen for this to change for good.
What would happen if you lived as though your father was dead?
Father of modern psychotherapy, Sigmund Freud, observed that a human’s greatest challenge was to break free from the nest. He taught that there were great forces at play working against this freedom both in the parent and in the child, but that ultimately all dysfunction in life came through this tendency to get stuck within the family bounds.
In reference to Freuds idea, David Deida says therefore a man should live as though his father is dead. That is - A man must love his father and yet be free of his father’s expectations and criticisms in order to be a free man.
He says ‘How would you have lived your life differently if you had never tried to please your father? If you never tried to show your father that you were worthy? If you never felt burdened by your father’s critical eye? For the next three days, do at least one activity a day that you have avoided or suppressed because of the influence of your father. In this way, practice being free of his subtle expectations, which may now reside within your own self-judgment. Practice being free in this way, once each day for three days, even if you still feel fearful, limited, unworthy, or burdened by your father’s expectations.’
This podcast episode is in no way designed to undermine your relationship with your father or to be ungrateful for his contribution to your life. It is simply to understand your need to stand on his shoulders and grow beyond his life as you live your own.
Have you ever been gaslighted? Have you ever gaslighted someone else?
Perhaps you have never understood what this term even means.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where a person makes someone question their own memory, judgment or perception of reality. This often creates cognitive dissonance and massively undermines their self esteem.
In today's episode of 10 minute Tuesday I'll show you what causes gaslighting and the 5 keys to remove yourself from the gaslighting trap.
The statistics are that at least 1 in 3 women world wide have experienced some kind of sexual violence against them and 1 in 6 men.
That is a massive percentage of the global population and it is highly likely that the numbers are even higher given how hard it is for people to tell someone else about their experience. This means that if you have not directly been abused, you know someone who has suffered in this way.
On a recent Tim Ferris podcast episode where he shared his own experience of sexual abuse, it seems that the only option for people who are desperate to overcome the impact being abused is 30+ years of intense therapy or taking psychedelic drugs. I am absolutely convinced there is a better way.
This episode is about exploring the impact of sexual abuse on how a person feels about themselves and what can be done to change this.
Have you noticed that all the conversations, special programs and hashtags around mental health are not actually helping the issue at all?
In fact, I'm convinced it is only making things worse.
The underlying assumptions that make current mental health stuff so ineffective are; that people are broken, labels are real and that you need to tread very carefully so you don't make things worse.
In today's podcast episode, I'll show you why these beliefs are completely wrong and what needs to happen instead for us all to make genuine progress in the mental health space.
Do you ever get frustrated that all the effort you are putting into improving the quality of your life is not working?
The point is, that it’s not hard work, repetition, or dedication that improve the quality of your life. In fact it is entirely possible to waste an incredible amount of time and energy on these things for no lasting gain.
Practice doesn’t make perfect, it just makes permanent. What if all this effort is simply reinforcing your bad habits and making you more and more stuck in the place you’ve always been?
Clearly there is work to do, but it is the right work in the right way at the right time that makes all the difference.
Check out today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday to find out the most important things to practice daily instead to make sure you are actually making real progress toward the life you truly desire.
Ever wondered why some people get what they want and others don't?
It turns out there are three secrets to becoming this kind of person that have nothing to do with what they deserve, how hard they work, or how much support they have.
Listen in to today's episode of 10 minute Tuesday and I show you how it works.
You're in for a treat today. I've finally convinced Kat to come on the show with me!
I wanted to give you an idea of how we've gamified our marriage by creating 8 relationship rules to make sure we can both win the game.
We'll unpack the list for you on today's episode of 10 minute Tuesday.
Here are our 8 rules:
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Honour rapport with yourself as the number 1 priority
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Be clear about what you want (Complaining is madness)
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Be the prize (Be excellent and always do your best)
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Know who's playing lead and support (Take full responsibility for your own project and problems)
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Credit where credit is due
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Back down when you are wrong, stand up when you are right.
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Apologise effectively (Do conflict as an adult)
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Don't tell me what to do
Here are the answers to the 12 most frequently asked questions about insecurity from you all. Thanks for those who submitted their queries!
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How can I help my partner/kids/friends/others with insecurity?
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Why are some people more insecure than others?
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Where does insecurity/anxiety come from? What causes insecurity?
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How can I stop caring about what others think of me?
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Why do I always feel like I’m not good enough?
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How do I get rid of it/overcome it/fix it? Isn’t it mind over matter?
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Why is insecurity so hard to deal with?
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How to detect insecurity at an early age and avoid it?
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How would questioning/exploring/examining insecurity help
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Are there any positive aspects of insecurity?
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How do I control my thoughts long term without slipping back into old fears? If I’ve been insecure for so long, how do I genuinely trust life without it?
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How do I learn to love myself more?
Ever wondered how I got to be the insecurity guy?
Here's a window into my backstory and how insecurity shaped my experience of life until I worked out how to solve this problem for good.
I'll tell you about my insecurities with money, relationships, my body, sport and speaking my message and what happened in each of these areas when I discovered the 7 practices for overcoming insecurity.
I'm sure you'll find yourself in my story and different aspects will resonate with you.
The point is, if little old me could solve this problem, then of course little old you can solve it to.
Also, I'm still offering my new book for free. If you'd like a copy you can order on here: www.unhinderedbook.com
My guest today is instagram sensation and Canadian business coach Hafsa Taher!
Hafsa started her entrepreneurial life with handmade greeting cards in 2013, and in just 5 years, she grew HafsaCreates to make a full time income, through selling online and retailers around the world.
Today she’s a Business Coach for creatives. She shares her exact journey to help creatives work through their limiting beliefs and create a business that reflects their values.
When she’s not coaching, you’ll often find her nerding our launch strategies, listening to self help books or rallying her friends for a meet up over poutine and burgers.
Her community goes nuts for her real talk, her empathy and her eat-an-elephant-one-bite-at-a time approach. Go follow her on Instagram (HafsaTaher.Coaching) and see for yourself!
Listen in as we dive deep into what it takes to truly overcome all internal limitations to become the person you desire to be.
Well the day has finally arrived. The Unhindered book is actually ready to be released into the world!
This book is the culmination of over 10,000 hours of coaching experience over more than 10 years.
It really is my life's work.
It represents my very best thinking on how to solve the insecurity problem in your life for good so that you can show up to life unhindered by doubt, fear and limiting beliefs and are therefore about to be at your best where it matters most.
As part of the book launch, I'm excited to be able to offer it to you for free + the cost of postage.
I truly hope you find it useful!
I'll tell you all about it on today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday.
Grab Your FREE copy here. (All you pay is the cost of postage)
https://www.unhinderedbook.com
BIO
Trish Marks is a business coach who Specializes in Stopping Self Sabotage, she helps leaders identify
the skills around improving performances by changing the way they approach challenges and
problems.
Trish founded Marks Consultancy in 2012 after leaving her job as a successful sales consultant with
the vision to spread the knowledge that understanding what influences your emotions has on your
decisions, behaviour and performance, and how it play’s such an integral role in effective leadership,
as well as in life.
Marks Consultancy offers one to one coaching programs and team workshops
To contact Trish visit:
W:http://www.marksconsultancy.com.au
E: trish@marksconsultancy.com.au
L: linkedin.com/in/trish-marks
F: https://www.facebook.com/patricia.marks.581
Insta: https://www.instagram.com/markstrish/
Want to know the secret of how anyone has ever transformed their life?
These 4 steps are universally true and while step number one is probably the hardest there is no other way into the transformation process.
The great thing is that if you do the first three steps properly, you get the forth one for free!
I explore these 4 stages at length in my new book "Unhindered The seven essential practices for overcoming insecurity" The original concept comes from Brian Grasso and Carrie Campbell.
Check out the full framework on today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday.
Find out why it is impossible to be critical of Donald Trump and discover the gift he offers to humanity.
The Donald Trump effect is extremely important for the world today. As crazy as his speeches are, every time he opens his mouth, Trump has a vital message we all need to hear. When I finally understood the Trump effect, it totally changed how I felt about the man.
Find out exactly what this message is on today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday.
Self Judgment and self awareness.
If self growth is important to you, you can’t afford to miss this one idea. Get it wrong, and your journey immediately grinds to halt.
In order to grow, change and improve as a person, self awareness is essential. However it is literally impossible to do self-awareness and self- judgment at the same time. Therefore, without a doubt, the number one inhibitor of personal growth is self judgment
Discover the simple shift to eradicate self-judgement for good that is just like taking a free $100 note.
You may also want to check out episode 92. - Less to more
The imposter syndrome - Why labelling your fear this way only makes things worse.
Do you ever use this label to describe your inner battles with confidence and certainty?
Although this term is commonplace especially in the business world, it turns out that it is actually part of the problem! I frequently have people tell me that they are not insecure all but that they often struggle with the insecurity monster!
While ever you use this language to explain your challenges, it gives you no capacity to do the deep change work required to show up to life unhindered by doubt fear and limiting beliefs, which means that you never get to show up at your best where it matters most.
Listen in to today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday and I’ll show you the the simple but profound shift in language to help you gain the confidence and certainty you need to succeed.
Did you realise that one of the key ingredients to living a successful life is having more bad days? I know it sounds crazy but when I learnt this one idea, it changed my whole life. It turns out that success is not about being on track 100% of the time.
Find out the three keys to integrate more bad days into your life while avoiding the traps.
In this episode of 10 minute Tuesday, I’ll show you the impact insecurity has on performance in every area of life as you age.
In general, this relationship between insecurity and performance starts to change at around 30 years of age. This is often where insecurity starts to cost you more than it is benefiting you. On the other hand, this is also the point where security starts paying off in terms of your capacity to perform at your best. From age 30-40, this trend continues significantly.
As you age, insecurity becomes the number one inhibitor of performance in life and business and it is security that opens up new levels of growth and success. Therefore, until you solve the insecurity problem in your life, you’ll never achieve your potential.
Here is the third instalment of my conversations with Greg Bellingham about the relationship between insecurity and spirituality.
In this episode we explore the importance of developing a mythology for your life.
You can find about more about Greg’s work and purchase a copy of his book here:
https://www.gregorygeorgeconsulting.com
Do ever find yourself in a poor state that you can't seem to shake? Even after adjusting your focus, language and physiology your state continues to suffer?
In this week's episode of 10 minute Tuesday I'll show you one powerful question for state management to ask yourself when nothing else has worked.
In this episode I talk to Greg Bellingham about his brand new book. “The hidden faces of change, The less obvious truth about change”
So often we experience stress, personal resistance and outward turmoil in times of change. However if you are open to rethinking the role of change in your life, it doesn’t have to be such a negative experience. In fact, change can be an entirely life empowering dynamic.
This book shows the five unexpected ways change shows up in our life and the personal growth challenge each face of change provides us with.
You can purchase a copy of Greg’s book here:
https://www.gregorygeorgeconsulting.com
Our capacity to give and receive love with others flows out of the overflow of a deeply loving relationship with ourselves first. Therefore self-love is an incredibly important subject and it definitely plays a central role in the process of overcoming insecurity.
Most people are acutely aware of how important self love is, yet it still proves to be a very difficult concept to master.
In this episode of 10 minute Tuesday I'll show you three distinctions about self love that you may not have considered. These ideas give you a clear place to start when you are ready to improve the quality of your relationship with yourself.
Here is the second instalment of my conversations with Greg Bellingham about spirituality.
Whether you like to admit it or not, spirituality is a central part of the human experience. However there is an enormous amount of insecurity around this subject of spirituality and what it means to be a spiritual person.
In this episode, greg explains the 3 ways insecurity impacts a person's spirituality.
Insecurity causes people to:
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Dismiss it all together
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Domesticate or formalise it
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Privatise it
All three approaches leave a person outside of an authentic and embodied spirituality.
Archetypes.
Do you ever find yourself triggered or agitated by some people more than others? Have you ever wondered why that is?
The advantage of exploring the archetypal narratives of the people who trigger you is that it gives you a clear map of how to respond and overcome the situation.
In today's episode of 10 minute Tuesday I'll show you the 3 questions to ask yourself when faced with particularly difficult characters in your life.
Affirmation and Visualisation
Sure there are plenty of things in life we have no control over, but most people consistently underestimate the power they have to influence the things they have full control over. This lack of awareness often means they are already fully utilising the visualisation and affirmation technology against themselves instead of harnessing their own power to create positive things in their life. They focus and mediate on all the things they don’t want to have happen and constantly talk about where they don’t want to be.
The way this works is that if you can see it and feel it, you can have it. Or if you can say it, and deeply agree with it, it will become true for you. This applies to both positive and negative scenarios.
Check out today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday to see how to better utilise this powerful technology.
My guest today is the wonderful Amanda Campbell.
Amanda is a speaker, author and Kinesiologist and is one of Australia’s leading experts on resilience.
Listen in as she shares her own remarkable journey of finding resilience after overcoming a paralysis at age 29 from MS to be symptom free for the last 12 years.
The books recommended by Amanda on the podcast are:
The courage to be disliked - Ichiro Kishimi, Fumitake Koga
Letting go - Hawkins David
Everything is solvable - Marie Forleo
What are your dreams telling you about unresolved inner conflict and desire in your life?
Today's episode of 10 minute Tuesday draws on the foundational work of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung in their understanding of the role of dreaming in our life.
Exploring an understanding of your dreams is a great access point into personal development. Bringing the realm of unconscious processing into your conscious awareness allows you to examine and work through the unresolved conflicts and desires in your world.
A live coaching demonstration
For a client to share their coaching session with the world is always an incredibly brave and vulnerable thing to do. If you watch this session, make sure you do so with the utmost respect and love for Kelly.
Kelly discovered an interesting issue in her new relationship. No matter how hard she tried, she could not fall asleep in the same bed as her partner. The moment he got up and slept in another room, she would instantly doze off.
So what is this really about?
Listen in to see what was uncovered as we explore her strategy in depth. You'll notice an amazing state change right at the end of the session as Kelly finally understands what is going on and feels equipped to make the changes she is looking for.
Cognitive dissonance
When you learn a new word or phrase, you get to have a new experience. The words we use don’t just describe our world, they shape it. Today’s topic of cognitive dissonance will give you a way of understanding an dealing with any internal conflict in your world right now.
The aim of the game is always to move away from dissonance towards resonance. This opens up more honesty, authenticity and leads you to life. Living from a place of resonance always makes you a better human being and enables you to contribute meaningfully to the world around you.
The path of dissonance leads to dishonesty, atrophy and death.
Today’s guest is a high school careers advisor from the mid north coast.
He’s a big fan of the show and was super keen to add value to the insecurity project message by sharing his own journey of growth and self discovery.
It’s a fantastic conversation covering a wide range of topics.
We talk about relationships breaking down, a man’s reluctance to explore and examine their emotions, taking full responsibility for your life, readiness for change and Jordan Peterson’s principle of rescuing your father from the belly of a whale.
What happens in your mind impacts almost every area of your life. Under pressure, your thought life will either make or break you. Therefore, getting your mindset right is a core component of successful living.
Here is the framework I've used for mindset success during this Covid 19 season. It has enabled me to stay sane when things around me seem to be falling apart and to show up at my best when it matters most.
Language is far more powerful than most people imagine. The words we use don’t just describe our experience; they shape it. If you change your words, you change your experience. One of the most useful roles of the coach/guide/wisdom character is to mirror back the exact language patterns you are using to see the impact these words are having on your experience of life.
In today's episode of 10 minute Tuesday, I'll show you the top 4 most unhelpful language patterns people use and how to improve them if you are looking to make lasting change.
My guest on the podcast today is Monica Bourgeau.
Monica is an entrepreneur, coach, speaker, and healthcare executive who leads and researches personal and organizational change. She believes we each have a duty to help leave the world a little better than we found it. Monica lives with her husband, daughters, and their two rescue dogs in beautiful Portland, Oregon.
She is the author of The Change Code which is based on the Spiral dynamics model first created by Clare.W graves and published by Chris coven and Don Beck.
Spiral dynamics is one of my all-time favourite frameworks for growth and change and I was so excited to talk to Monica about this subject, as she is now one of the leading experts world wide in this space.
If you are looking for a better understanding about how individual and collective change happens, I’m sure you’ll love this conversation as much as I did.
You can find more about Monica here:
Website: https://monicabourgeau.com
Her book: https://thechangecode.net
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MonicaBourgeau/
Insta: https://www.instagram.com/monicabourgeau/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/monicabourgeau/
POWER and GRACE.
The great paradox of life. The word POWER is a reminder of how wonderous it is to be a human being. To be alive is to be powerful beyond measure. My brain is a super computer. My body is a machine. Every cell in my body is teeming with life itself. I have the capacity to create, solve, learn, grow, adapt, and innovate. To bring things in to being that have never existed before. This word draws me into the truth that I have been given ridiculously potent gifts. The most incredible of these gifts being choice and responsibility. This means I am exactly where I have chosen to be. My results are completely mine. I have constructed my entire experience of reality. No one is coming to save me. It is all me. That is how much power I have. I am wonderful, glorious, and majestic. I am more than enough. I have all that I need to do anything I desire. This word is on my less dominant left leg because when things get hard, I have the tendency to hide in the shade and pretend all this is not true. Incredibly, there are times I swap all this power for blame and excuse and live as a victim of my environment instead.
The word GRACE is a reminder of how dependent I really am. Even with all this power, I can’t make the sun rise and fall each day. I have no ability to make it rain or cause grass to grow. I can’t produce air. I am deeply dependant on the sun, moon, stars, trees, birds, bees, and cows. I depend on life itself for every breath I take. In the grand scheme of things I am nothing and no one. This word draws me into the truth that I am a part of the whole. I am connected to everyone and everything. I am alive only by the grace of God. This causes me to surrender. To trust. To be open. To ask. To be humble. To be deeply grateful. To take myself lightly. To remember that life is a gift and to cherish each moment. Life is a fleeting vapour and I am fragile and vulnerable. This word is on my dominant right foot as a corrective for the times I get ahead of myself. It brings me back to earth when I admire my own strength too much and and get caught up in my own plans. Incredibly, there are times when I think I need no one and nothing. Grace loving shows me this is never true.
The more you see who you really are, the less insecure you become.
Today’s guest is Penny Window. I reached out to her after discovering her remarkable transformation over the last 12 months that she largely credits to the insecurity project podcast! I’ve never spoken to her or coached her, yet she dived into the podcast in such a way that she got all the tools and frameworks she needed to change her life. Penny has lost over 20kg’s, completed the Melbourne marathon, started her own business and changed her core beliefs about herself along the way.
Listen in to hear how she did it, and discover the key podcast content and conversations that made all the difference in her life along the way.
This quote from author, politician and spiritual leader Marianne Williamson has inspired millions of people to realise they are a gift to humanity.
"We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
On todays episode of 10 minute Tuesday, I'll show you how you can get more acquainted with your own giftedness with the aim of bringing that gift to the world.
If you've ever had the experience of feeling like a tool or framework everyone is raving about is not working for you - here's why... Frameworks break down only where your beliefs, fears or internal rules prevent you from fully applying and following them.
In today's episode of 10 minute Tuesday, I'll show you how to make sure you get the changes you are looking for in any area of life you are working to improve.
Here is the go to framework for course correction and maintaining change. It the complete opposite way to the way most people live and when practiced effectively gives you a massive unfair advantage in life.
In today's episode of 10 minute Tuesday I'll show you why it is so powerful and effective and give you some tips to apply it to your life.
This is the second time I've covered this subject. The first time was 10 minute Tuesday No.1, 2 years ago!
People do all kinds of incredible things purely motivated by those who told them that they couldn't, wouldn't or shouldn't. The interesting thing is that once you have proved the doubters, haters and nay-sayers wrong it is often such a hollow victory.
In today's episode of 10 minute Tuesday, I'll show you the dangers of being motivated to prove others wrong and how to find a deeper and more sustainable form of motivation.
Life is suffering. There is plenty of suffering in life that should not be avoided and even if we could avoid it, we would choose not to. It is this kind of suffering that leads to the most meaningful experiences of our life. However, there is also plenty of suffering that it entirely avoidable and should be avoided by all means possible. Insecurity fits into this category. Left unaddressed it causes an incredible amount of suffering, however because all insecurity is built on a work of fiction it is not real or true except in our own heads.
In today's episode of 10 minute Tuesday I'll show you how to avoid the kind of suffering insecurity is causing your life, work and play.
When it comes to running a successful business, often a personal development plan is seen as unnecessary. Obviously you need a business plan and a marketing plan, yet the limiting factor of success will inevitably be your ability to be the kind of person who can deliver and execute these plans. That means without a personal development plan, you will end up getting in your own way.
In today's episode of 10 minute Tuesday, I'll show you how to develop a high quality personal development plan using the 6 general question words - What, when, where, who, why and how.
My guest on the show today is Daniel Tolson.
Daniel serves as a consultant to more than 4,500 companies and individuals throughout Australia, New Zealand, Taiwan, United Arab Emirates, Italy, Great Britain, Ireland, and both North and South America.
As a business influencer, he impacts millions of people each year.
He has studied, researched, written and spoken for 20 years on the topics of time management, goal setting, strategic planning, superior selling skills, business model innovation and emotional intelligence.
Prior to founding his company, The Tolson Institute, Daniel was a leader of 17,000 cabin crew for Emirates Airlines. He has had successful careers in real estate sales and marketing, Pawnbroking, Second Hand Dealing, a former Australian Champion Wakeboarder and eXtreme Games Competitor.
He has travelled and worked in over 100 countries on six continents and lives in both Taiwan and Australia. Daniel is happily married and has two children.
In our conversation, Daniel shares very honestly about his own journey of overcoming insecurities to be the incredibly successful and well rounded individual he is today.
I’m sure you’ll enjoy this conversation as much as I did.
Solving the insecurity problem is like doing an apprenticeship, finishing your HSC or doing a degree. It is the problem you have to solve before you get the right to solve the real world problems.
If you want to live a meaningful life and be able to do your best work, whether you like it or not, you have to solve the insecurity problem first.
Thankfully the insecurity problem can be solved. Insecurity is like any other problem. All you need is the proven framework and someone skilful enough to guide you through the process until it works.
When the strategy of self sabotage is deconstructed, it becomes clear that it is simply a quest for certainty.
We sabotage our success because we fear failure is more certain.
Therefore, self sabotage is a certainty problem.
In today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday I’ll show you how to meet the need for certainty more resourcefully so that you can let go of self sabotage for good.
This is the first episode in the new series exploring the link between insecurity and spirituality.
Greg Bellingham has been my long term mentor and the catalyst for most of significant growth in my life, so I’m stoked to be able to interview him on this subject.
The context of this conversation is based on our experience within Christianity, and I understand that is certainty not the experience of many of my listeners. Therefore, you may find this conversation raises issues you are not familiar with, but my guess is there will still be wisdom you can apply to every area of life.
This is my favourite idea from the last 6 months. When you understand the simplicity of how this works, you'll discover that being overwhelmed at a problem you are facing is clean feedback that you haven't accurately understood the problem. Find out how to move from feeling overwhelmed to powerfully in control of your problems on today's episode of 10 minute Tuesday.
Have you ever wondered why gaining financial freedom is never quite as simple as it seems? It turns out it is much more than getting the mechanics right, there is also a whole bunch of growth required on the level of your beliefs, fears and identity before you have the capacity to handle more money.
A person’s relationship with money is one of the clearest indicators of their relationship with themselves…
Join me as I chat with money expert and Co author of “Make money simple again” Bryce Holdaway as we explore the connection between money and insecurity.
Bryce Holdaway is the Co-Host of the property couch podcast, Co-Host of ABC’s Escape from the city, and Co-Host of Foxtel’s Location Location Location.
Find out more about Bryce here:
http://bryceholdaway.com
Have you ever found yourself contemplating why is life so difficult and why there always seems to be so many problems to solve?
The interesting thing is that life is like this for a reason and we wouldn’t actually want it an other way. As Mark Manson says “Happiness requires a struggle.”
Here are three key ideas to help you face your current struggles without being overwhelmed and to find meaning in your suffering.
Getting embarrassed is common and natural, yet it also has the power to change the direction of our whole life. The chemical response produced by embarrassment can easily escalate to the point where we lose the ability to think rationally and function appropriately.
When we get embarrassed we feel exposed. When we are exposed, we fear our inadequacies are revealed to all. The real problem with embarrassment therefore, is that it is connected to insecurity.
In today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday, I’ll deconstruct embarrassment so you can see exactly how it works and therefore prevent it negatively impacting your life.
3 key reasons why practicing mindfulness helps end the unnecessary suffering caused by unresolved insecurity.
Here's the Sam Harris video mentioned in todays episode of 10 minute Tuesday. https://youtu.be/yR7XAiW5lTA
The tracking app I mentioned is called "Streaks"
For the sake of the planet, we are each entirely responsible for dealing with our dysfunction and increasing the level of our consciousness. We don’t have the luxury of not overcoming our insecurity and remaining selfish and dependant.
There is work to be done, but it is good work, meaningful work, and work that future generations will thank us for.
Find out where the insecurity project is heading in 2020.
https://www.facebook.com/The-Insecurity-Project-by-Jaemin-Frazer-102782951147036/
The final podcast episode for 2019.
Have you considered the importance of having a clear rationale for every area of your life?
If you are not clear about setting the rules of engagement for your life, someone else definitely is.
Here's 3 keys for how to be where you are on purpose.
Everyone talks to themselves, but not many people are good at listening.
Today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday focuses on the importance of listening to yourself as a key component of fully becoming an adult. Here are 3 key ideas to help you improve the quality of your relationship with yourself by getting better at listening.
10 minute Tuesday. - Have you vaccinated yourself against life changing ideas?
The magic of vaccination works by exposing you to a little to stop you getting the lot. Obviously this is great when it comes to disease prevention, but not so great when it comes to life changing ideas.
Have you ever considered that perhaps you've vaccinated yourself against concepts, ideas, and principles that would have greatly improved the quality of your life had you got the whole dose?
Discover the 3 subtle ways most people vaccinate themselves without even noticing.
Oh…and this quote “To know and not to do is really not to know.” is from Stephen Covey.
Listen in as we work through Jason’s challenge around how to be a humble and open leader without being crippled by other people’s criticism.
Whether you lead a team, your family or just yourself…I’m sure you’ll find this conversation relevant.
The importance of being ambitious
It turns out that it is only ambitious people who end up solving the insecurity problem.
To have a compelling vision for your life really is one of the 7 essential practices for overcoming insecurity.
If you don’t feel like you’re an ambitious person however, it’s OK…Here’s how to change that and get in touch with dreams, desires and goals that have been suppressed.
In this coaching session with Lauren we dive straight into the big issues causing her to feel flustered, stressed and overwhelmed.
If you’ve ever had challenges with:
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Lack of family support for what you do for a living
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Feeling lonely and isolated
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Always feeling there is more work to be done before you can relax without feeling guilty
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Feeling over worked and under valued
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That no one fully understands how much you give to those around you.
I’m sure you’ll find this very raw and vulnerable conversation useful.
“Discomfort precedes breakthrough” Glen Carlson
The longer you can sit in the place of pain and uncertainty without rushing to fill the space with things that have previously given you comfort, the more profound the breakthrough will be when you emerge out the other side.
In today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday I’ll show you 3 keys to make sure you get your breakthrough rather than just staying in the discomfort until it becomes your normal experience of life
For most people, the idea of lasting change is the stuff of legend and fairytale. As a result, they are left to dial down their expectations of life and settle with what they’ve got rather than hoping for a better day.
However, I’m convinced that it is entirely possible to improve the quality of your life and experience deep and lasting change as long as you know how change really works.
In fact, adopting these 5 mindset shifts makes lasting change not only possible, but entirely inevitable!
Self discipline - To self permission
The child strategy - To the Adult strategy
Behaviour management - To dealing with core beliefs
Being the actor in the story - To being the storyteller
Running away from life - To facing up to life
See how each shift works in this episode of 10 minute Tuesday.
My wife and I just celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary and both our 40th birthdays with a wonderful European holiday.
Here are three key decisions we made on the trip that turned our holiday into a truly magical experience together:
Make sure we both know the rules of the game so we can win.
Be clear about who’s taking the lead and who is playing support.
Create a happy relationship with money.
To understand more about the impact these three agreements had on our time together and what relevance they have for your relationship, check out todays episode of 10 minute Tuesday.
Have you noticed that making genuine progress is an essential part of feeling happy in life? However there are always problems and challenges that get in the way and if left unaddressed leave us feeling stuck and therefore unhappy. Problems are an inevitable part of life and so solving them is also essential to doing life well.
In this episode of 10 minute Tuesday, I’ll show you my 2 favourite coaching questions to help you maintain progress in the face of challenges.
Your ability to solve your current problems quickly so that you can earn higher quality problems is a key part of reaching your full potential and living the life you desire.
One of the unavoidable costs associated with being ambitious is the disappointment, pain and perceived loss of not achieving what you set out to do.
Until you’ve achieved the enlightened state of the buddha, the Dali Lama or Jesus and have truly broken though into the realm of having no earthly attachments, you will suffer when things don’t happen the way you’d like them to. Having no expectations in an unenlightened state, is simply a form of fatalistic defeatism to protect yourself from pain.
To desire is human. To shut down desire is to dehumanise yourself.
Disappointment is actually a normal and healthy part of the human experience. Our responsibility is to reconcile it before it creates residual pain and reduced capacity for hope and future goal setting.
See how to reconcile your own disappointments before they diminish you in this week's episode of 10 minute Tuesday
Crunching the numbers of the insecurity problem.
An accurate cost assessment for your current situation versus the costs involved in the desired change is a critical part of the change process.
This allows to fully create threshold moments where the cost of change is actually far less than the cost of staying the same.
In addition, fully exploring the benefits of change versus the benefits of staying the same gives you a clear path to increase value and pleasure in your life.
My conservative estimate is that solving the insecurity problem instantly adds at least $100k of value across every area of your life.
Lasting personal change is harder than most people imagine. Here are the 3 conditions that create a beautiful sweet spot for deep and lasting transformation.
If you notice these themes present in your life already, you are primed for rapid and enduring change given the right tools, frameworks and processes.
If these 3 things are not present in your current experience, the great news is that each of them can be cultivated.
Either way there is always hope for change.
Stephen Covey (The 7 habits of highly effective people) says that the journey to maturity goes from dependance to independence to interdependence. This means that in order to fully become an adult, we each must discover how to separate ourselves from the adults we’ve been dependant on before we can develop adult to adult relationships with them.
In todays coaching session with Brayden, we cover this very vulnerable but crucial subject and specifically how it impacts the relationship with our parents.
It is a universal challenge that I’m sure you’ll relate to.
When it comes to creating lasting change, it turns out that anger is an incredibly important emotional resource. Anger is also a key indicator about how effectively you are applying essential practice number 3 - Stack the pain.
Today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday is about how to use anger to it’s full potential while avoiding the traps and dangers along the way.
Listen in as Claire get’s to the bottom of why she’s great at acquiring lots of new knowledge but never applying it to her life. We also explore patterns of self sabotage and focusing on others instead of herself.
This is another great example of why it is essential to go back into your past and deconstruct old stories in order to move forward unhindered into your desired future.
The stories we live out of can described as the things we’ve consciously and unconsciously agreed to. These agreements shape the entire course of our life and affect every experience we have.
People who succeed in life do so largely based on the fact that they tell better stories than everyone else.
In order to make deep and lasting change, it is essential to review the agreements you’ve made and decide if they are still working for you.
Listen in as I coach Greg through what appears to be a health challenge entirely outside of his control. See what happens when he discovers what this is really about!
Everyone needs to feel as though they are a decent human being. However we all have different rules for what defines a good person and what a good person says and does.
What are your rules and how well are they working for you?
Developing a deep and loving relationship with yourself is an essential part of achieving true happiness and success. Here are 4 key ideas to strengthen or rebuild that relationship.
In order to truly connect with a purpose that is bigger than you, you’ll need to solve the insecurity problem first.
Today’s guest is Kim Farmakis Stevenson. Kim is an international level powerlifter with some exceptional achievements including; 4th in the World in her weight division, Gold at Commonwealth, Silver at World championships, Gold at Asia Oceania and countless Australian, Asia, Oceania, Commonwealth records.
Kim also has a passion for empowering women to be strong both emotionally and mentally. She is also an Empowered Eating specialist freeing women from emotional eating.
You can find out more about her here:
www.transformationsbykim.com
For your personal change strategy to work long term, it has to be a ‘less to more’ transaction. Find out how this simple idea works in today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday.
This special episode by request is an example of someone who has gone through the entire coaching process based around the 7 essential practices for overcoming insecurity. Listen in as Miranda shares openly about how her life disintegrated around her and how she courageously faced her deepest fear about herself and put her life back together.
You can find out more about Miranda and the great work she is now doing out of the overflow of her own personal development journey here: https://www.pliable.com.au
Australian cricket coach Justin Langer describes mental toughness as the ability to only focus on the next thing. Discover why this one simple idea also has the power to get you unstuck, create momentum and build your self esteem.
One of the most profound shift’s in solving the insecurity problem in your life is to not take things personally.
This is the 2nd of the 4 agreements in Don Miguel Ruiz’s outstanding book - The 4 agreements.
Find out the crucial piece of knowledge that makes this agreement possible in today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday.
Today’s guest is 30 year old personal trainer, mindset coach and mental health speaker, Lauren Patterson
Lauren’s focus is on helping others going through their toughest life struggles to overcome through honesty and living a balanced lifestyle.
In our conversation Lauren shares very openly about own her mental health journey and explains the impact of a toxic relationship at a young age that triggered severe mental illness for many years.
The books mentioned in the conversation were:
Mastering your mean girl - Melissa Ambrosini
The morning Miracle - Hal Elrod
The subtle art of not giving a f*ck - Mark Manson
You can find more about Lauren here:
https://www.instagram.com/___laurenkate/
https://www.madmaxmum.com
This live coaching session covers some some incredibly sensitive topics. We work through the mess and pain of abuse, trauma and domestic violence. Lorna must be acknowledged for her incredible courage and vulnerability, but she was certainly ready for change and willing to so whatever it takes to not let these thing ruin her life or the lives of her children. If you listen in, make sure you give her all your love.
Today’s guest is Harvee Pene; a 3x author, TEDx Speaker, host of the Inspiring Business for Good podcast and co-founder of Inspire - Life Changing Accountants.
This really was a wonderful conversation, and in fact I got choked up a couple of times as we dived deep into talking about the the things that really matter.
Harvee is such a brilliant communicator who clearly smokes what he’s selling! A couple of my favourite quotes to come out of the interview were: “Purpose eats insecurity for breakfast” and “Insecurity hates speed.”
He also talks about the value of developing 101 goals and having them clearly displayed on your fridge. Something which I have always integrated into my life to great affect.
I’m sure you’ll get so much gold from what Harvee shares on this episode.
The books mentioned on todays show are:
“You have the power to change stuff.” Daniel Flynn
“The entrepreneur revolution” Daniel Priestly
“Think big and kick ass” Donald J Trump and Bill Zanker
You can find out more about Harvee here:
https://inspire.business/team/harvee-pene/
https://www.facebook.com/harvee.pene
Harvard Psychologist Robert Keegan believes that the subject object switch is the single most important move we can make to accelerate personal growth.
Find out why in this week’s 10 episode of 10 minute Tuesday.
Back by popular demand. Another live coaching session. This was a lot of fun! Jill was familiar with the coaching tools and frameworks which meant we could dive straight into the underlying issues straight away. I reckon you’ll really enjoy listening to how she solves her biggest hurdle around self sabotaging her own happiness and success.
Graeme Cowan is the author of 4 books, including the internationally acclaimed BACK FROM THE BRINK, which has a testimonial from the former UK Prime Minister Tony Blair, and which has just become a best seller in China.
In 2000 he went through a 5 yearepisode of depression that his psychiatrist described as the worst he had ever treated.
He emerged from this crisis with a different view about how we can increase our resilience, mood, and performance.
Graeme also helped to start R U OK? in 2009, and is an active Board Director.
In today’s show we chat extensively about his mental health journey and the strategies he’s discovered for overcoming insecurity along the way.
The books mentioned in the converstation are:
“The good life project” - Jonathan fields
“Man’s search for meaning” - Victor Frankl
“Self compassion” Kristin Neff
You can find out more about Graeme here:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/graemecowan1/
One of the most significant differences between the people who survive under pressure and those who crumble is simply the quality of the story they are telling themselves.
In order to know what to do when things are hard, you will need a powerful narrative driving you forward when there is every opportunity to run and hide.
Find out more about how to create this story in today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday.
It is an amazing thing to discover that the insecurity problem was created inside you not outside. This means it can only be solved internally rather than looking for external solutions.
Listen in as Crystal courageously faces the implications of this key idea in her life.
Today’s guest is Erika Geraerts.
Erika started her first company with two friends in September 2013 called , a copy writing and editorial agency at age 23. From there she started a cafe in Melbourne and then co- founded her 3rd business ‘Frank Body’, a skincare and beauty company best known for their scrub made of coffee grounds.
Recently, she made a bold decision to walk away from her $20 million company to launch a new, ‘industry disrupting’ make-up brand 'Fluff’ aimed at 13-20 year old females.
She has been featured widely in the media and is an inspirational business woman with wisdom beyond her years.
The books recommended by Erika on the show are:
A new earth - Eckhart Tolle
The hard thing about hard things - Ben Horowitz
The places that scare you - Pema Chödrön
The 4 agreements - Don Miguel Ruiz
Conversations with God - Neale Donald Walsch
Shoe Dog - Phil Knight
Podcasts:
Ezra Klein
You can find Erika here
www.itsallfluff.com
https://www.instagram.com/erikageraerts/
When stuck with indecision. most people get paralysed with uncertainty by approaching the problem from the wrong end.
This simple decision making framework gives you the ability to find the best way forward when you don’t know what to do.
A live coaching demonstration to show you someone working through their insecurity first hand. In this session we work though the age old issue of the being held back in life by the golden handcuffs.
Swap it, don’t stop it.
Fear and anxiety is often simply driven by our need for certainty.
Stepping into process always gives us more resourceful forms of certainty which displaces fear and anxiety.
Mike Clark is part of the Dent Global leadership team as the Queensland State Leader role. In the first year of his his very first business venture his partnership took a company from $1M to £11M
From there he continued to experience incredible business success, taking companies from standing start to multi-millions as well as building Europe’s largest LinkedIn training company where he secured an exclusive two year EMEA wide partnership agreement with LinkedIn and served hundreds of billion dollar brands such a Barclays, Canon, Deloitte and American Express, before his company was acquired.
His book “How to really use LinkedIn” is due for launch at the beginning of this year.
The books mentioned on the show by Mike are:
The magic of thinking big - David J. Schwartz
The breakthrough experience - Dr John Demartini
The power of intention - Dr Wayne Dyer
You can find more about Mike here:
https://www.facebook.com/MikeClark03
https://www.linkedin.com/in/mikeclark3/
https://www.dent.global
Taken from Nathaniel Branden’s book, “The psychology of esteem” Here is the simple summary of his high quality framework.
Siimon Reynolds is a renowned Australian entrepreneur and award-winning marketer. He is one of the world’s leading high performance coaches for CEO’s and entrepreneurs.
He has created and built five 7 figure ++ businesses in a row.
One of his businesses started with only two people and 8 years later employed over 6000 staff in 14 countries. The group comprised 54 companies and was valued on the stock exchange at over $500 million.
He speaks globally on the subjects of high performance, leadership, productivity and ultra achievement.
His most recent book, “Why People Fail,“ reached No. 1 on the Australian bestseller list in both the Business and Self Improvement categories. It won the Silver Medal at the 2012 U.S Axiom Business Book Awards and was a finalist at the CEO READ business book awards.
His marketing expertise is highly sought after in the media. He has been featured on many shows, including 60 Minutes, Today Tonight, A Current Affair, Bloomberg and America's Today Show on NBC.
The conversation with Siimon was full of high quality insights on a range of subjects. It was such a privilege to have him on the show.
The quickest and most effective way to step out of the victim space is to realise that you are not a victim at all. It is to see that you are in fact the persecutor. It's not the words said against you that has caused the most pain, it is only the ones you've agreed with. The battle has always been with your own option of yourself. You are the one who created the insecurity, and therefore you are the only one who can change it.
Leonie Dawson is a international best selling author and artist, serial entrepreneur with multiple 7 figure businesses. What makes her success even more incredible is that she works part time and is able to be location independent, which means according to Tim Ferris that she is has all 3 of life’s luxuries - Time, Money and Mobility!
She is a remarkable human being, doing some amazing work in the world.
I’m sure you’ll love this conversation.
Oh…by the way, she does like to swear a little bit
You can find Leonie here:
https://leoniedawson.com
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/leonie_dawson/
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/leoniedawsonauthor/
Your ability to improve your financial situation is NOT based on how hard you work. Exploring your money story is essential to experiencing change in this area. This episode of 10 minute Tuesday will help you to understand the subconscious rules you have about what money will do to you, what you deserve and how to be a good person.
“Know that wisdom is such to your soul; if you find it, you will find a future, and your hope will not be cut off.” Proverbs 24:14.
In order to really solve significant issues in your life, you need to encounter true wisdom.
So, what is wisdom? How do you differentiate it from the cheap substitutes? And how do you find it?
Tim Dwyer is a word class business growth specialist; a consultant, entrepreneur, mentor, keynote speaker and business leader. With a career spanning 25 years, Tim has worked with thousands of clients across global brands, large corporates, SMEs, and entrepreneurs. As head of Telstra’s strategy for the SME Sales division, Tim was part of a dynamic team behind the growth of a $2.4 billion portfolio. From there he specialised as a revenue and growth expert at Shirlaws and ultimately became the CEO.
Tim is now is a group partner at Business of brand.
This conversation was amazing. Tim shares some incredible insights about the hero’s journey, the importance of setting clear intentions rather than getting stuck focussing on the “how”, the two coexisting paradigms of fear and love, the wonder of the role of key mentors and coaches, colluding with doubters and dealing with bullies.
I’m sure you’ll find it super useful and relevant to wherever you are at in your journey of overcoming insecurity.
Spiral dynamics, 7 levels of living, or 7 levels of consciousness (the various names for this model) is one of my all time favourite frameworks for understanding how to grow as a human being.
First created by Don Beck and Chris Cowen in the 1980’s the descriptions of each level are useful for understanding where you currently are and where you'd like to be.
Every level is an important and healthy part of developing as a human, yet the longer you stay there without growing, the more hazardous it becomes. You can't skip levels and you can't move on until you've learnt the lessons of that level. Also, it is possible to be living on one level in a certain area of life and a different level in another area.
The aim of the game is to grow to your full potential and live in a way that impacts the world!
How to use affirmations and visualisations effectively as programming tools without being a wanker about it.
Dave Jorna is an emotional intelligence expert and founder of Project Hatch - A schools based program with retreats, workshops and leadership training programs to help young people do life better. He has been working with students for over 16 years to help them create small differences in their thinking to make big changes in their behaviour and self-confidence;
Project Hatch leads young people to experience ways they can be a positive influence in the lives of others; gain emotional intelligence and mindfulness strategies to increase their wellbeing.
Dave is also the voice behind the Do Life better Podcast. https://dolifebetter.fireside.fm
In today’s episode I chat to Dave about how he began this great work by overcoming his own insecurities and he shares some fantastic insights from the world of emotional intelligence which I’m sure you’ll find super useful.
You can find Dave here:
http://www.projecthatch.com.au
Living with obligation, battling other’s expectations and dealing with people treating you poorly are three of the most painful challenges in life.
Check out how to rid yourself of all these things as I unpack the HOPE, POWER HUMOUR model in today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday.
Dr Ben Carvosso is a High Performance Coach with 28 years experience. He is one of Australia's leading coaching experts and is a sought-after speaker and author.
In this episode I explore Dr Ben’s fantastic framework for taking control of your life back which is the central theme of his book Life CEO.
You can find out more about Dr Ben and grab a copy of his book here:
https://drbencarvosso.com
Is it possible to get to the bottom of your physical issues around health, sleep, weight and injury simply by listening to what your body is trying to say to you?
Find out in today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday where I unpack the mind body connection.
Today’s guest is potential psychologist Ellen Jackson.
Ellen is the former Chair of the Australian Psychological Society - Ballarat Branch. Currently she is a Consultant Workplace Psychologist with clients Australia wide.
She is the founder of the Potential Psychology Podcast and is also and experienced Executive Coach, Trainer, Presenter and Facilitator
Ellen shares some super useful insights about the importance of maintaining a mental health baseline through Mindfulness, exercise, diet and sleep (MEDS) and how to overcome the negativity bias that comes so naturally to most people.
If you would like to take Ellen’s diagnostic test to understand more about yourself, here is the link.
VIA Survey - http://potential.pro.viasurvey.org
Or you can find out more about Ellen here:
website - potential.com.au
podcast potential.com.au/podcast
The books recommended by Ellen in the show are:
Authentic Happiness:
Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment by Martin Seligman
Flourish:
A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being by Martin Seligman
Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck
Pursuing the Good Life: 100 Reflections on Positive Psychology by Christopher Peterson
The Happiness Advantage: How a Positive Brain Fuels Success in Work and Life by Shawn Achor
Additional resources mentioned.
Shawn Achor's TED Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work?language=en
Dr Sarah McKay's TED Talk on napping - http://yourbrainhealth.com.au/my-tedx-talk-indulge-your-neurobiology/
It turns out that while sleeping more is not very socially acceptable, it is an essential part of mental health and well-being and has a direct impact on how you feel about yourself.
Find out why sleep is so important and how to get more of it in today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday.
Today’s guest is Tracy Litt, Tracy is a Mindset Coach and Rapid Transformational Therapist based in Florida USA. She is a powerhouse of energy and passion on a mission to transform peoples lives by helping them see how much choice they really have.
Tracy is a gifted and dynamic speaker and I’m sure you’ll agree that you could easily listen to her all day! And, her insights on dealing with fear based on her own experiences will blow you mind!
You can find out more about tracy here: http://www.thelittfactor.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tracy.l.lester.9
Behaviour is simply the end product of our beliefs and the stories we live out of. So often we wrote these stories a long time ago and they have never been revisited or revised.
Check out today’s episode to find out the importance of discovering the stories you told about yourself in your teenage years and how to change those stories where they are no longer serving you.
Do you ever find yourself sabotaging your own success? Does it seem like some part of you is cleverly resisting change, growth or progress by stopping you taking the necessary action you said you were committed to?
In this week’s 10 min Tuesday I’ll show you why self sabotage is that it is entirely an issue about lack of permission.
When your subconscious is NOT ok for you to move forward because it perceives more danger, risk or potential loss in the change than where you are currently positioned, it will sabotage your plans.
The key is to understand the positive intention of this sabotage as a form of protection, and then have a conversation with yourself to see what would need to change before you could move forward unhindered.
Find out why we find it so hard to make changes to the decisions we’ve made in the past, and learn how to overcome the sunk cost bias so you can give yourself permission to move forward and choose the thing things that are best for you.
Oh…and it might be time to buy a new shirt.
I talk with Steve Willis about his journey of personal formation to be the man he is today.
Steve very generously shares his most important life lessons in overcoming insecurity and addresses some really important issues around suffering, taking action and connecting to the flow of kindness and life all around us.
How to help your teenage kids not be insecure.
In today’s episode of 10 minute Tuesday I’m focussing on how to help you kids develop their own self esteem. I’ll show you the things that are most helpful in giving them the tools to overcome their insecurity.
Beneath the surface level fears around failure, disappointment, and rejection lies our deepest fear. The fear of not being enough. This fear is often far harder to see, but part of overcoming all insecurity is about turning the lights on so you can see exactly what you are fighting.
A 30 min coaching session applying the 7 essential practices for overcoming insecurity.
When it comes to dealing with doubt, fear and insecurity there is a bunch of very common strategies that simply don't work.
Find out the 7 biggest mistakes people make in trying to overcome insecurity and discover the 7 best practice strategies to use instead.
This episode of 10MT explores the idea that the personal development journey can be summed up with the idea of doing the work to fully become an adult. Discover why 100% choice, responsibility and ownership are the three core components of the adult life.
A recorded coaching session from a brave soul willing to have you listen in as they work through their doubts fears and insecurities.
Susan sohn.
Susan is a Writer, speaker, broadcaster, storyteller and social media personality. She was born in Canada, travelled the world, started businessness, won national awards been featured on Tv and radio and the mother of 3 teenagers.
Susan is the founder of somo society (SOcially MObile) and the author of soon to be released 'You are More – Finding Beauty in Authenticity’
Join me as I chat to Susan about her remarkable life and they key aspect of her journey that have led her to where she is today.
You can find Susan here:
https://www.facebook.com/susanjsohn
https://www.facebook.com/susanjsohn
https://getreallive.com
Making lasting change is hard. Obviously it is possible to make key changes in your life at almost any age, yet, if there was ever a time that was more conducive to this change work, and where conditions are ideal, it is between 35 - 45 years old. Discover all the reasons that make this true on todays episode of 10 minute Tuesday.
Here is a link to the spiral dynamics (7 levels of living) framework I mentioned.
http://jaeminfrazer.com/blog/the-7-levels-of-living-spiral-dynamics
Glen Carlson is the co-founder Dent Global, a structured accelerator programs that produce entrepreneurs that stand out, scale up and make a positive impact in the world. Their award winning ‘Key Person of Influence’ program is acknowledged by INC.COM as “One of the top personal branding conferences in the world”.
Glen has been featured in INC.com, the Fin Review, Sky Business News, Entrepreneur.com and his DENT PODCAST is consistently in the top 100 business podcasts in Australia and people watch over 2000 hours of his business tips on his FACEBOOK PAGE each week.
Glen is an incredibly successful and remarkable man. He is definitely one of sharpest business experts I've ever heard.
Join me as I chat to Glen about the journey to become who he is today.
The books recommended by Glen are:
The surrender experiment by Michael A. Singer
Man's search for meaning by Victor Frankl
You can find more about Glen here https://www.dent.global
It’s common to find internal resistance to achieving your big goals. Your ability to deal with this internal conflict well will be a massive factor in the overall quality of your life and the level of success you achieve.
However, rather than forcing your way forward through self-discipline and fighting with yourself, the way forward is to fully understand how this internal resistance is actually driven by love protecting you from what you fear. Deal with the fear and refocus the love and there is nothing that could stop you making genuine progress towards your goals.
Tracy Secombe
Tracy is a former miss Australia winner, entrepreneur, coach and facilitator. She is an inspiring public speaker and video/TV presenter who specialises in helping people move from being people pleasers to 'soul pleasers'
Join me as a I chat with Tracy about her journey from growing up in Port Lincoln SA to now helping people all around the world deal with their fear of not being good enough.
You can find out more about Tracy here:
www.soulpleaser.com
https://www.facebook.com/soulpleaser/
www.tracysecombe.com
Separating behaviour from intention does not justify the behaviour, instead it allows us to see that we are not our behaviour and to understand why we do what we do. This awareness of the intention then allows us to design a better strategy and therefore change the behaviour. This tool has had a profound impact on my life and has been the key to make positive changes to every area.
In 10 minute Tuesday this week I'll show you this concept in depth which is a central part of Anthony Robbins 6 core needs model.
Melanie is an Australian Business Mentor, Web Designer & Creator of The Business Chakra System. based in Bali Indonesia. She teaches and empowers her clients to build a firm foundation for their business, and how to create a strong online presence that stands out to attract clients.
Join me as a chat with Mel about her journey into entrepreneurship as travelled the world looking to discover who she really was.
Recommended reading:
Light is the new black - Rebecca Campbell
You can find out more about Melanie here www.seedtosoul.com.au
She is on Facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/melanie.midegs
Rest is an essential aspect of a human being. If you don't give yourself permission to rest consciously, your subconscious will take care of rest for you through sickness, self sabotage and ineffectiveness
In today's 10 minute Tuesday, find out the keys to do well at rest.
As Yoda say: Do or do not do, there is no try. In this weeks edition of 10 minute Tuesday, I share a few ideas about why being ''all in" is an essential aspect of flourishing in life.
Ryan Bowles is the founder of the Create or Die movement, an online tribe of creatives from over 30 countries worldwide. Over the past decade, Ryan has built a loyal following of over 50,000 creatives, launched eCom brands, led successful crowdfund & charity campaigns and influenced over half a million people with a microphone in hand as the frontman of the metal band Prepared Like A Bride.
Listen in as I chat to Ryan about the path he has chosen for himself and the internal and external obstacles he has had to overcome to be where he is today.
Being needy causes three major problems in your life. It is by far the weakest way to position yourself in any relationship.
In this episode of TMT, I’ll show you the 3 major problems being needy causes in your life and how to deal with neediness so you can position yourself as the prize instead.
Wow. What a remarkable coaching conversation! The first 15 minutes are the clearest description of the problems insecurity causes you'll ever hear. And I didn't even say a word!
From the spark of an idea in 2010 while living in the middle of nowhere in regional Australia Nicola has gone on to build a global online business online helping business owners to stand out and be the face of their brand so they can achieve their goals of FREEDOM of choice, lifestyle and IMPACT.
Listen in as I chat with Nicola about her journey from domestic violence and insecurity to become the powerful woman she is today!
You can find Nicola here:
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/theNicolaMoras
Linkedin https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicolamoras/
Procrastination is a painful issue for many people. The three most common mistakes people make when trying to stop procrastination are forcing themselves, tricking themselves and negotiating with themselves.
On this podcast episode I’ll show you three far more effective strategies instead.
Listen in as I coach Lisa through her fear of not loving others well and not being loved well by others.
The sooner you come to terms with the fact that life is not fair, the better it is for you. Find out how to make life work for you rather than waiting on luck, chance and good fortune. Ultimately those who succeed in life are crystal clear about 2 key things: What they want and what they are prepared to do to get it.
In this podcast episode, find out how to make life work for you rather than waiting on luck, chance and good fortune.
Join me as I chat with Peter Sewell, an Australian, Author, coach and adventurer based in Leipzig Germany as we talk through his journey from losing everything in his life to now travelling the world and inspiring people to make the most of what they've been given.
Peter is an amazing individual with an incredible story.
Check out some of the cool things he has done just this year!
• Climbed Africa's highest mountain - Kilimanjaro (5895 meters)
• Photographed Africa's BIG FIVE in the wild (My highlight was the Leopard)
• Visited 6 new countries (Georgia and Bulgaria were my favorites)
• Completed the final edit of my novel HUNTING SUSAN
• Launched a weekly email with subscribers in over 30 countries
• Planned a 6 week tour of AUSTRALIA for July/August
• Been interviewed on Television
• Organised my first photographic exhibition in LEIPZIG, GERMANY
.....and provided COACHING and training for leaders and businesses around the world
You can find Peter here:
Www.facebook.com/peter.sewell.author
@smileypete01
Books mentioned:
The 4 hour work week - Tim Ferris
The 5 love languages - Garry Chapman
Rich Dad Poor Dad - Robert Kiyosaki
Steven Covey teaches that the journey towards maturity has 3 key stages: Dependence, independence and interdependence. In this episode of 10 minute Tuesday I’ll help you discover why physical, emotional and psychological independence is so crucial to maturity.
Sally Dooley
Over a career spanning twenty years, Sally has worked with thousands of leaders and individuals in government, private and community sectors. Both as a partner with key businesses and as a director of her consultancy business she has specialised in a wide range of leadership, people management and personal development areas. Her experience working with a broad range of organisations has given her an in-depth understanding of current leadership issues and organisational challenges. Sally is a highly engaging and experienced facilitator, speaker and executive coach who builds strong rapport with her participants creating a positive and interactive learning environment where participants are enabled to create lasting change.
Sally has a Masters in Training and Development and is also an international best selling author, TEDx speaker and speaker coach.
You can see Sally's TEDx talk here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1hkaHkfFMo
Amy Cuddy - Your body language shapes who you are -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWZluriQUzE
Jordan Peters0n - 12 Rules for life. An antidote to chaos
Insecurity is something we all battle on some level.
Underneath EVERY relational, emotional, social, physical and even financial issue is some kind of limiting belief about our own value and worth.
Insecurities are like the handbrake that severely limits your ability to flourish in life.
Therefore, to leave insecurity festering beneath the surface becomes incredibly costly for every area of life! It is out of our insecurities that we end up consistently hurting ourselves and those around us. It causes us to act out of our ego in attempt to defend and prove ourselves to the world.
It is an epidemic of insecurity that is responsible for much of the madness in the world today.
Left untreated it will destroy you.
Most people are too afraid of delving into the fear of their own inadequacy and so try and suppress their insecurity in the hope it can be controlled or managed. Yet, inevitably our insecurities cannot be contained, they must be faced. The beautiful thing is that the moment you find the courage to do so, you discover they are works of fiction. You have always been enough and always will be.
It is possible to live your life without insecurity. Let me show you how.
This episode is a little different. This is an excerpt of a conversation I had with some of the coaches I'm training at the moment. These coaches are working hard at solving the insecurity problem in their own lives so that they can help facilitate lasting change in other people lives as well.
If you are intrigued by how to have high quality conversations with others about core issues, I'm sure you'll find this episode interesting and useful.
Discovering your true identity is a difficult quest. Most people have no idea how in the world are you to discover who you really are! Here are 3 key ideas to help you in the journey of finding yourself knowing that ultimately you can be whoever you want to be as long as you are willing to let go of the approval of those who think they know you.
In this episode of 10 minute Tuesday I’ll tackle the issue of trying to work out who you really are.
Listen in as I coach Bailey through his current challenges around self sabotage. The aim of the game is always to facilitate more awareness leading to more choice.
Here are 5 surprising and refreshing ideas to help you deal with self doubt in your life
Listen in as I chat with Jemimah Ashleigh - Business consultant, mentor, creative director, social media marketer
Jemimah Ashleigh is one of Australia’s leading entrepreneurs. Having built three successful businesses from scratch, she is a highly sought-after business consultant, mentor, speaker and soon to be author. Additionally, Jemimah is the Creative Director of Tangs Design and is the founder of the business experiment podcast. Jemimah has been named one of Australia’s Top 10 Female Entrepreneurs by My Entrepreneur Magazine
You can find her at https://www.facebook.com/jemimahashleighau/
Contrary to popular opinion, it is not time that rebuilds trust, it is simply an effective apology. The aim of giving an apology is always to restore relationship with someone you care about. For the apology to be effective, it must cover these four stages.
- What you did,
- Why you did it,
- Empathy about the pain you’ve caused and,
- A believable plan about why it’s highly unlikely to happen again.
I’ll unpack these 4 stages in detail and show you how the effective apology works on todays episode of 10 minute Tuesday
Listen in as I coach Erin through her desire to gain more clarity in her life. Find out how her fear of not being good enough is stopping her from being clear about her next steps.
Cameron Brown
International Keynote Speaker · National Geographic Explorer · High Performance Coach · Founder, The Thriving Collective
He loves training companies and high achievers in the areas of Creativity, Innovation and Emotional Intelligence. In his keynotes, he blends these topics on stage while performing on a grand piano, along with footage from his adventures around the world into a multi-sensory experience..
In May 2018, he'll be delivering a TEDx talk in Rome in front of 2,000 people at Italy's largest TEDx event. Incorprating a grand piano on stage and doing something that has never been done before
He is also I'm officially partnered with National Geographic as an Explorer.
His recent initiative 'The Impact Diaries' took him to 10 different countries in 18 months, resulting in speaking, coaching & training engagements across 4 continents, more than 1 million organic video views and media interviews in multiple countries.
You can find cameron at www.thrivingcollective.com
On Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/askcameronbrown/
Facebook - Ask Cameron Brown.
Anxiety is something that most of us deal with on some level almost every single day.
On this episode of 10 minute Tuesday I’ll show you five proven strategies to overcome anxiety so that you can operate with peace and presence instead.
Ever wondered what it would be like to be the parent of an international sports star? Listen in as I have a coaching conversation with Sonya, the mother of Australian MotoGP rider Jack Miller. Hear her talk through the pressures and anxiety of watching him perform on the global stage and how that relates to her own insecurities.
Listen in as I coach Terri through her doubts and fears that have been keeping her stuck in a place she doesn't want to be.
Lucy Holmes is one of Australia’s hardest working performers and most versatile media personalities. Coming from a musical background and a degree in Music Theatre (Singing, Acting and Dancing), Lucy has worked as a television host, Radio host, professional singer, actress, recording artist, voiceover artist, MC and model.
Lucy has been heard on 89.9 Light FM in Melbourne over the last 10 years every morning from 6am as part of the award winning Lucy and Kel breakfast show. 89.9LightFM has an audience of over one million listeners, and Lucy and Kel's breakfast show recently won the coveted CMAA 'Most Engaging Radio Show' of the year, two years running.
She is also the star behind Australia’s most successful corporate act and tribute show, 100% Kylie, with the real Kylie Minogue calling the show ‘the best act’ in the world. This large scale stage show has toured the world full-time for over 14 years, selling out shows in over 16 countries to great acclaim. Lucy even appeared as Kylie's double for a Magnum Icecream advert filmed in London in 2014. Lucy also is set to star, as Kylie, in the biggest TV show of the year in the UK, Even Better Than The Real Thing, which will air to around 15 million people.
In recent years, Lucy has hosted TV Shows (Ch9 The Mint), appeared in TV series (ABC Paper Giants 2 & Prank Patrol), and been the face of informercials on The Morning Show. She has also performed as lead vocalist on many TV shows including Dancing With The Stars, The Logies, Carols By Candlelight, Good Morning Australia, the AFL Grand Final and The Good Friday Appeal. Lucy has appeared on numerous adverts, and can be seen on TV at the moment with her 2 year old daughter as the face of A2 Toddler Milk. Lucy has performed backing vocals for many industry greats, including Westlife, Florence and The Machine, Delta Goodrem, Dami Im, UK star James Morrison, and more. She was watched by over 80 Million viewers around the world when she performed with Guy Sebastian at the Australian Open Mens Tennis Finals.
As the great physicist Richard Feynman says: The first
principle is that you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool. Here are the keys to know how to detect and eradicate all self- deception from your life.
Laura Bartlett as been a #girlboss since the age of 19 when she launched her first company. She started this with zero investment and has since gone on to achieve worldwide recognition.
Her company is a magazine that has evolved from focussing solely on fashion to now being all about global travel. Laura sought investment help from the TV show the Dragons Den, only to be ridiculed and shot down in front of millions of viewers. As crushing as that was, Laura went on to secure advertisers on her own and soon launched the magazine in 16 countries where it sold out world wide.
Due to a failed partnership with a leading fashion event, the magazine had to close in 2013. After a few months away from the industry, Laura decided to launch a new title - House of Coco Magazine which was more in line with her true passions.
Three years on, she now has a team of over 30 people working with her to produce content for the magazine which is sold in exclusive London stores Harrods, WHSmith and Selfridges. The magazine is also sold on newsstand.co.uk and is the third largest seller out of 4000 titles worldwide.
You can find Laura on instagram - @Laurabartlett0 and @house_of_coco
While complaining about your current situation and living with blame and excuse is entirely natural for many people, it gives you no power to improve the quality of your life and therefore makes no sense at all.
As Eckhart Tolle says: Accept the situation, change the situation or leave it, all else is madness.
On todays episode of 10 minute Tuesday I’ll show you exactly why this is true.
The books mentioned on the show today were:
‘The Gifts of Imperfection’ by Dr Brené Brown.
‘Renewed’ by Lucille Zimmerman
‘Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul’ by Dr Stuart Brown
My website is www.journeez.com.au
Using high quality coaching tools and frameworks, listen in as we discover the elegantly simple solutions to complex people problems.
In this week's 10 minute Tuesday we'll explore the framework for healthy relationships focusing specifically on the 4 questions to help solve any relationship issue.
Michael is a High School Science and Physics teacher in Goulburn, NSW.
Over the last decade, he has helped thousands of students navigate their early academic aspirations and build confidence in their ability to use knowledge to achieve their dreams.
Michael has devoted his life to the sciences working in diverse technical fields of biotech and electronics. From the prawn farms of Oahu, to the high-tech offices of Silicon Valley, he is right at home in any Science laboratory.
He earned his Bachelor of Science from the University of Maryland and his Diploma of Education from Southern Cross University.
Michael is currently developing the application, ‘JetScholar.com’ to aid student growth using the ‘mastermind principle’ to promote accountability and feedback for their academic pursuits. His upcoming book ‘Inspire’ linked to the JetScholar program is expected to be available in winter 2018
When he isn’t writing lesson plans or planning science experiments, Michael can be found riding his bicycle wherever pavement can be found.
Michael can be found on:
Instagram – mrzampogna
Twitter - @MichaelZampogna
Email – mrz@jetscholar.com
For more information about the levels of emotion mentioned in the interview, check out this link.
http://www.6seconds.org/2017/04/27/plutchiks-model-of-emotions/
Discover the underlying belief behind shame and the the only way to be free from shame.
Listen in as I facilitate a transformational conversation with Peter using the coaching framework and the elegantly simple personal development tools from my book.
For reference, the book Greg recommend is:
"Immortal Diamond - Searching for our true self." By Richard Rohr.
We all want to feel significant and worth while, yet often the people who we put in charge of validating us don't do a great job. The thing is though, even when they do well in this role, it still doesn't make us feel whole. The key is to remove this role from anyone external and take 100% responsibility for being your own validator. Check out todays show to find out how.
John’s painful personal experience with burnout while in a Senior Leadership role, and his subsequent recovery, led him to start his own consulting business in 2010, with a clear focus to mentor high achievers (business owners and corporate executives) to a more holistic view of self-leadership.
John has developed a practical, relevant methodology that enables high achievers to pursue audacious goals without neglecting all that is precious in their world. This process enables the integration of all the elements of life into a clear and workable plan that brings clarity and peace of mind.
John Drury is a powerful Presenter, Trainer, Facilitator and Mentor. He splits his time between working with business leaders as an Executive Coach/Mentor, Facilitating Strategic Planning and Healthy Culture Processes for companies, and running Leadership and Team Training for a range of companies.
You can find him at www.johndrury.biz
Using the coaching tools and techniques from his book "Elegantly simple solutions to complex people problems" Jaemin coaches Rachael through some very real challenges.
Personal development expert Jaemin Frazer delivers another 10 minute Tuesday.
This week he is talking about the science of creating well- formed outcomes for every area of your life using the "Outcome, intention, consequence model" from Dr Ian Snape.
It was a real treat to interview this legend for 'The insecurity project' podcast this week.
I got the chance to quiz him about the affect his beliefs about himself have on his ability to perform at such a high level across multiple sports.
Results from a recent urine sample gave conclusive evidence that when Troy gets up in the morning he pisses excellence.
Find out what his secret is!
Most people go about their life like this: Strategy - What do I need to do? State - Driven and controlled by external factors Story - Full of unfortunate limitations and beliefs that produce their daily reality. Successful people on the other hand live life the completely opposite. Story - They start by ensuring the story they are living out of gives them every chance of succeeding State - They control their state at all times, meaning they can access the magic when they need it most Strategy - Only after they having sorted out the 'BEing' do they embark on the 'Doing'. Strategy always comes last.