Calm Resilient Mama Podcast: Recent Episodes
Cindy Graham-Schmidt | Life Coach
On the Calm Resilient Mama podcast I’m going to share tips and coaching tools for loving but exhausted mamas.
Through short episodes this podcast is going to hold for space for them and support them on their motherhood journey, so that they (and their families) can experience more joy and love in their lifes - instead of just going through the motions day in and day out.
Take 5 minutes for yourself and listen to this guided meditation helping you to feel calm and joyful in the lead up to Christmas. This guided meditation is part of my Mindful Advent Calendar.
Transcript:
“Welcome to this guided meditation on feeling calm and joyful.
Let’s begin by finding a comfortable position, either sitting or lying down. Close your eyes, and take a few slow and deep breaths. Inhale peacefulness, exhale tension.
Envision a cozy, warm space decorated with festive lights and ornaments. You are surrounded by a sense of calm and joy. Allow this mental image to bring a smile to your face.
Inhale deeply, imagining you are breathing in calmness and peace. Feel the soothing energy flowing through your body. Exhale any stress or tension.
Focus on your heart center. Visualize a radiant glowing light expanding with each breath, filling your entire being with a joyful and serene energy. Feel the warmth of joy within your body.
Now bring your awareness to this present moment. Let go of thoughts about the past or the future. Embrace the simplicity and beauty of now. Feel the calmness and the joy that reside in this present moment. Feel it in your whole body from the top of your head all the way down to your toes.
As you gently return to the awareness of your surroundings, carry the calm and joyful energy with you. Open your eyes with a renewed sense of peace, ready to embrace the holiday season with peacefulness and joy.
Now before you open your eyes, take a moment to transition slowly before resuming your usual daily activities. And bring that joy and peacefulness with you.”
Take 5 minutes for yourself and listen to this guided meditation focusing on being more mindful and aware of the things you’re thankful for. This guided meditation is part of my Mindful Advent Calendar.
Transcript:
“Welcome to this guided meditation on gratitude that will help you to become more mindful and aware of the things you’re thankful for.
Begin by finding a comfortable and quiet space. Sit or lie down in a relaxed position, closing your eyes gently. Take a few deep breaths in, and exhale slowly. Let go of any tension.
Imagine a warm and gentle light surrounding you. With each inhale, feel this light filling you with warmth, and with each exhale, release any stress or worries.
Now, bring your attention to your heart center. Visualize a golden glow coming from this area. This is the center of gratitude within you.
As you continue to breathe, think of someone or something you are deeply grateful for. Picture their face or visualize the essence of that experience.
Think of the people in Your Life: Picture the faces of the people that you love and appreciate. Feel the warmth and connection you share with them. Take a moment to express gratitude for their presence in your life.
Now think of some Cherished Moments: Recall a specific moment that brought you immense joy or touched your heart. Allow that memory to unfold, and savor the positive emotions associated with it. Express gratitude for this special moment.
Now consider nature's Gifts: Imagine the beauty of nature around you. Whether that's a blooming flower, a magnificent tree, or the calming waves of the ocean, connect with the natural world. Feel gratitude for the gifts that nature provides.
Take a few more deep breaths, acknowledging the gratitude within your heart. When you're ready, gently open your eyes, bringing this sense of gratitude with you into the rest of your day.”
Mindfulness for Mums: 3 Simple Techniques to Reduce Overwhelm (Episode 38)
In this week’s episode, we dive into the world of mindfulness and I share 3 simple tips to help you feel less overwhelmed and more calm. Let me show you that practising mindfulness isn’t hard or yet another task on your to-do-list. Listen to this episode to start incorporating those doable techniques into your day-to-day life with ease.
Transcript:
“Welcome to the Calm Resilient Mama Podcast. I’m Cindy Graham-Schmidt. I’m a Life Coach and mama of two. On this podcast I share with you coaching tools and tips to help you deal with challenges that life and motherhood throw at you. I will help you to enjoy your life more TODAY, because tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone.
Hey mama,
How are you?
Today we dive into the world of mindfulness and I’m going to share 3 simple tips to help you feel less overwhelmed and more calm. I want to show you that practising mindfulness isn’t hard or yet another task on your to-do-list. So keep listening to this episode if you want to start incorporating those doable mindfulness techniques into your day-to-day life with ease.
According to the Oxford dictionary, mindfulness is “a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.”
This definition basically leads me straight to the first tip and that is: being present in the current moment. So whether you’re changing a nappy, doing the dishes or are on the playground, try to notice your surroundings and how you feel instead of being on autopilot or trying to multitask. Ask yourself, “What can I see? What can I hear? What can I touch? What can I feel?”. Pay close attention and focus on your breath and on whatever it is that you’re doing at that moment. Asking yourself those questions often can be a simple way to incorporate more mindfulness and calmness into your day-to-day life.
My second tip is to share kindness with the people around you.
It’s all too easy to focus on the difficult moments or the challenging behaviours, but how often do you make the time to notice the positive things and make genuine compliments to others or truly acknowledge the people in your life? It doesn’t have to be through big or expensive gestures either. For example, you could write a little love note, acknowledge a quality that you admire in someone, or say out loud how genuinely grateful you are for someone or something. Simple gestures like that can make a huge difference for others and for yourself and how you feel and how you perceive the world around you. Give it a try today.
My third tip is to incorporate mindful movement into your daily or weekly routine.
Whether that means yoga, stretching, or a short dance break with your kids. Movement can help release tension and boost your mood. It really doesn’t have to be anything big, complicated or time consuming. In fact, the easier it is for you to incorporate it into your daily life, the better, because doing something for a few minutes every day is better than doing something for an hour but only every few weeks. And whatever type of movement you choose, it doesn’t have to be perfect either. Simply become aware of how your body moves and feels, and what thoughts pop into your head while you do it. That’s basically what mindfulness is all about.
And if you pratice a little mindfulness everyday, you will soon notice a change in your mood and in how you approach things. And how great and simple is that?
Just a quick recap of the techniques to help you remember them:
1. Practice being fully present in the moment by asking yourself “What can I see? What can I hear? What can I touch? What do I feel?”
2. Share kindness with the people in your life.
3. Incorporate mindful movement into your day.
I share those 3 simple tips with you, because my hope is that you can see that mindfulness techniques are not hard or yet another task on your to-do-list like I said earlier. It can actually be the complete opposite. They can be simple and help you to deal better with challenges and all those things on your to-do-list.
In short, practising mindfulness will help you to feel more calm and resilient and that’s why you listen to this podcast,isn’t it?
And if you want to feel calm and resilient more often than not, check out my coaching program, the Calm Resilient Mama Project. In there we focus on you and how you can meet your needs every day in order for you to be the mum that you want to be, even in the challenging moments, even amidst the tantrums and meltdowns and fights. In 7 weeks you can increase your capacity to better deal with all the not so fun things that come with being a parent. So if that’s what you want, and let’s be honest if you’re still listening to this episode, that is what you want, then reach out to me and let’s get started rather sooner than later. Simply send me an email at cindy@cindygrahamschmidt.com.
That’s it from me for today. Take care and I’ll talk to you next time.”
Episode 37: Managing Kids' Big Emotions: 5 Practical Tips for Calm Parenting
In this week’s episode, we dive into the world of parenting and dealing with kids' big emotions. I share my personal insights, including practical phrases and questions that have helped me stay calm and empathetic in challenging moments. Join me on this journey of navigating parenthood with compassion and resilience.
Do you generally want to focus on feeling more calm and resilient as a mama? Then check out my 1-on-1 coaching program, the Calm Resilient Mama Project. That’s where we focus on you and how you can meet your needs in order for you to be the mum that you want to be, even in the challenging moments, even amidst the tantrums and meltdowns and fights. You can increase your capacity to better deal with all the "fun" things that come with being a parent.
Transcript:
“Welcome to the Calm Resilient Mama Podcast. I’m Cindy Graham-Schmidt. I’m a Life Coach and mama of two. On this podcast I share with you coaching tools and tips to help you deal with challenges that life and motherhood throw at you. I will help you to enjoy your life more TODAY, because tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone.
Hey mama,
How are you?
I’ve been dealing with a lot of big emotions in the past few weeks; both my own and those of my children. We just moved into a new house a couple of weeks ago, my oldest just went back to school after the school holidays and my youngest just had her last day at her current daycare and is about to start at a new one. As you can see, there have been a lot of big changes and therefore also a lot of big emotions.
In those kinds of times, I make sure that I keep things as simple as possible for myself and for the kids. For example, I pay attention that I do not overload my calendar, I make a meal plan for the week, I outsource and take short breaks to calm myself and destress.
I do all those things, because I want to be a calm resilient mama, but I’m not going to lie; even when I do all those things, my kids still have tantrums and emotional outbursts. So if you feel like you’re doing all the right things and your kids still have big emotional releases, please know you’re not alone.
I mean we all have big emotions at times, but as adults we’re (hopefully) better able to handle them as our young children. Most of the time anyway.
That doesn’t mean that I have it all figured out and that I always stay calm when my kids lose it, because I don’t. And that’s ok. Nobody's perfect. Not me, not my kids and not you.
Now that we’ve had this disclaimer, I do want to say that I do always aim to stay calm though in those moments, as calm as possible anyway. And over the past 7 years I have learned a thing or two that work for me and my kids; and I thought it could be useful for you if I share a few phrases that I remind myself of when I deal with my kids releasing their big emotions. I also want to say that it’s completely normal for your kids to have those outbursts mainly or only with you, because you’re their safe space. Knowing this might also help you to better deal with those emotional releases.
Now let’s go straight to those phrases and questions I think of when my kids are having a hard time, which actually leads me straight to the first phrase:
“They’re not giving me a hard time; they’re having a hard time.”
Remembering this helps me to have more compassion for them and the challenges that they’re facing. It’s not really about me. It also stears me more towards problem solving and thinking about how I can help them to get their needs met.
The second phrase is simply “Deep breaths.”, because it literally helps me to focus on my breath, which helps my nervous system to calm down. Remember to breathe slowly, because otherwise it can have the opposite effect and encourage your fight or flight response and we don’t want that.
The third thing I try to remind myself of is that I can’t reason with them when they’re so angry. Their brain just isn’t capable of thinking clearly in those moments. It just isn’t developed enough. So I ask myself “What can I do to help and facilitate calmness?”. And the answers to that can be very different for every child. Once they have calmed down, it’s then easier to talk about what happened or what really bothers them.
The third phrase anchors me into my resilience and empathy. It’s: “I can deal with challenging things. They are still learning though.”
Sometimes we simply expect too much of our children. They grow up so quickly, but we need to remember that they’re still little. They just don’t have the emotional maturity and intelligence that we have as adults. So we can’t expect them to be all rational.
The next question is really important and I recommend you ask yourself this often and not just when your kids are acting out. “What do I need right now to manage my own emotions?”.
Our kids can sense when we’re stressed, tense and overwhelmed. They know when something is up and that can lead to them having big emotions too. So I want to encourage you to pay close attention to how you feel and how you can support yourself, because it’s only then that you can stay calm and support them. And by asking and answering that question for yourself you’re also being a good role model to your kids, because they learn by watching us.
The last phrase is more about repair and connection for the moments when you didn’t manage to keep your calm. When that happens, remind yourself “It's ok for me to apologise and take responsibility.”. Again, it’s about role modelling to your child that we all make mistakes and that it’s important to take responsibility when we do something wrong. You’re not giving in or being weak when you apologise for making a mistake. The opposite really, it takes courage, strength and self-reflection to apologise and actually mean it.
Try to remember that how you react in those challenging moments teaches your child how to deal with their frustrations and anger. Whether you like how you react in the moment or not, they will learn from you and from your actions. I’m not saying that to shame you. The opposite really. I hope it’ll help you to see that it’s all a learning opportunity; both for you and for your child.
And before I finish up there’s another thing that just came to my mind. Everytime I notice that things are starting to go a bit pear shaped, I ask myself if my kids might just be hungry or tired, because sometimes that’s all it is and there’s no deeper reason for them getting frustrated easily other than them being hangry.
I hope those phrases, questions and reminders help you to keep your calm more often when your child is releasing their big emotions on you.
And if you generally want to focus on feeling more calm and resilient as a mama, check out my 1-on-1 coaching program on my website cindygrahamschmidt.com, because that’s where we focus on you and how you can meet your needs in order for you to be the mum that you want to be, even in the challenging moments, even amidst the tantrums and meltdowns and fights. In just 7 weeks we can increase your capacity to better deal with all the fun things that come with being a parent. So if that’s what you want, and let’s be honest if you’re still listening to this episode, that is what you want, then reach out to me and let’s get started rather sooner than later.
That’s it from me for today. Take care and I’ll talk to you next time.”
Defeating Negative Self-Talk as a Mum (Episode 36)
This week we’ll tackle your inner critic by discovering where it can stem from and what you can do to overcome it. This episode will help you to cultivate a more positive self-talk and embrace your imperfections, because you deserve to be spoken to with kindness; and that starts with how you talk to and about yourself, mama!
And if you want support in challenging your inner critic, then the Calm Resilient Mama Project could be a great opportunity for you, because it’ll help you to reduce your negative self-talk, your stress levels and your never-ending to-do-list.
Transcript:
“Welcome to the Calm Resilient Mama Podcast. I’m Cindy Graham-Schmidt. I’m a Life Coach and mama of two. On this podcast I share with you coaching tools and tips to help you deal with challenges that life and motherhood throw at you. I will help you to enjoy your life more TODAY, because tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone.
Hey mama,
How are you?
Today I want to talk about a topic that affects so many (if not all) of us; and that’s negative self-talk.
Negative self-talk is so to say that voice in your head that criticises you, belittles you, and makes you question your abilities and your decisions both as a mum and as a person in general. It's important to understand what it is before we can actually tackle this mean inner critic effectively. Negative self-talk can show up in the form of self-doubt, guilt, or feelings of not enoughness. For example, it might tell you that you're not good enough, that you’re not doing enough, or that you’re falling short in some other way.
Negative self-talk often comes from societal pressure and the unrealistic expectations placed on us mums, because we are constantly exposed to images of 'perfect' motherhood and the perfect family. That creates a standard that is simply impossible to achieve. Insert the “perfect mother myth”. You can go back to episode 13, if you want to learn more about that term.
So on top of all that, our own past experiences and insecurities can amplify this negative self-talk. And when I say “past experiences”, I don’t just mean your own experiences as a mum, but also about the experiences of other mother figures in your life and from your past. It can all have an effect on your own journey and on what you expect of yourself as a mum.
As mums and primary caregivers, we juggle so many responsibilities - caring for our children, managing the household, trying to maintain a career, personal pursuits, and also a social life. We tend to compare ourselves to other mums and imagine that they do a much better job than us, so we try to do everything perfectly, keep up with them and feel like we’re failing when we are not able to do that.
At this point, I also want to mention that just because someone seems to carry it well doesn’t mean that it’s easy for them, that it’s not heavy or that they don’t struggle. Maybe they’re just better at hiding what’s really going on and to be honest I don’t think that’s necessarily a good thing. So next time you find yourself comparing yourself to another mum, don’t assume that they’re doing a better job than you or that things are easier for them. We’re all in this together and on our own journeys; and maybe you showing up as your authentic self with all your challenges, imperfections AND your wins (don’t forget them); maybe that will help another mum to feel safe to do the same.
Ok that was a bit of a sidetrack. Now back to all of those expectations that our brains have created in our heads and all the ideal scenarios of what our lives and we should look like and feel like. When those expectations don't match the real world and our real experiences, then negative self-talk shows up, because our brains want what they’ve been promised by those perfect images and the ideal scenarios that we had imagined. Only problem is that the negative self–talk, the shaming and blaming ourselves isn't going to get us where we want to be, because shaming yourself doesn’t work. It won’t magically make us more like the person that we had imagined ourselves to be. Negative self-talk won’t motivate us to go and change things for the better. Instead, it’s more likely that it’ll make us feel stuck and powerless and therefore create more of the same; more of what we don’t want.
Ok, so now that we’ve talked about where the negative self-talk comes from, let’s move on to what you can do about it when it shows up or even how you can make it show up less.
The first step, as often, is awareness. Learn to recognise when you're engaging in self-criticism. Often, we do it so automatically that we don't even realise it's happening. A tool that could help you recognise it better, could be a regular journaling practice.
And once you're aware that you’re judging or belittling yourself, challenge those negative thoughts. Ask yourself if they're based on facts; if they’re actually true; or if they’re just your harsh inner critic trying to undermine you, and your decisions, and your confidence. More often than not, you'll find that those thoughts are basically based on irrational fears, insecurities and “shoulds”.
Once you’ve recognised the mean voice in your head again, I’d like to invite you to try out having compassion for yourself. Acknowledge that the inner critic is there and choose to talk to yourself kindly instead. Talk to yourself as if you were your own best friend. Remind yourself that motherhood and life in general is a journey filled with ups and downs for us all, and it's okay to make mistakes along the way and that you don’t have to be perfect. You're doing your best, mama, and that is enough.
Remind yourself of those things every time you catch yourself being critical and judgemental of yourself. Become aware of how high the expectations are that you have for yourself and learn to adjust them or even let some of them go all together. You are your own person, with your own dreams,values and ideas. So set your expectations accordingly, be ok with getting it wrong and be kind to yourself always. This will help you to reduce the negative self-talk immensely in the long run.
I want this episode basically to be your reminder that nothing and noone is perfect and that motherhood is about love, care, and growth, both for you and your child. So embrace that journey.
And instead of comparing yourself to other mums, it could help you to genuinely connect with them instead and share your experiences. Build relationships with mums who understand what you're going through as that can be incredibly reassuring for yourself and for them. Seek support from them and offer support back. Having a genuine community of like-minded mums and people in general can make a huge difference in your life and in the way you talk to yourself, because it’ll help you to see that you’re not the only one who deals with challenges and setbacks. You can learn from each other, hold each other, move and grow through challenges together.
Remember, negative self-talk is a common struggle, but you now have the knowledge to challenge it and can learn to cultivate a more positive self-talk instead. So be kind to yourself, mamas, and embrace the beautiful imperfections that make you you.
And if you want support in challenging your inner critic, then the Calm Resilient Mama Project could be a great opportunity for you, because in there I don’t just share with you proven tips and tools to help you but you also get 1-on-1 coaching with me. I’ll be there for you when you need someone to listen to you and to help you put things into perspective. Together we can turn down the volume of your inner critic and make some other incredible supportive changes in your life.
So head to my website www.cindygrahamschmidt.com and check out the Calm Resilient Mama Project, because it’ll help you to reduce your negative self-talk, your stress levels and your never-ending to-do-list.
That’s it from me for today. Take care and I’ll talk to you next time.”
Navigating Mum Guilt: Embracing Self-Compassion (Episode 35)
This week’s episode focuses on mum guilt and what you can do to overcome it, because you deserve to take better care of your own needs and desires, mama.
Transcript:
“Welcome to the Calm Resilient Mama Podcast. I’m Cindy Graham-Schmidt. I’m a Life Coach and mama of two. On this podcast I share with you coaching tools and tips to help you deal with challenges that life and motherhood throw at you. I will help you to enjoy your life more TODAY, because tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone.
Hey mama,
How are you?
Today I want to talk about a topic that I know many of us mums struggle with – Mum Guilt.
You know, as mums, we often wear multiple hats. We're caregivers, nurturers, educators, entertainers, taxi drivers and more. But sometimes, in the midst of all these roles, we forget one very important identity – our own. We're not “just” a mum. We're individuals with our own dreams, hopes, passions, and desires, but at times we tend to forget that.
Now, before we dive in, let me make one thing clear. Acknowledging the existence of those desires and hopes; and therefore mum guilt, doesn't take away anything from your love or your commitment to your children. In fact, if anything it's a sign of how deeply you care.
Mum Guilt often creeps in when we take a moment for ourselves, pursue our passions, or simply prioritise our own self-care. We wonder, "Shouldn't I be using that time to do something with or for my family?"
But let me tell you something – we need to honour our own individuality and our own interests. Just like our kids deserve to pursue their interests and ideas and dreams, we do too, because everyone does. As often, it's about finding a balance, for yourself and for your family.
So, how to do that and where do we start? Well, I always say start small. Even things like you listening to this podcast right now is an act of self-care and prioritising yourself. So you are already taking the first step. Go you!
I will now share some practical tips to help you navigate mum guilt better, so that it becomes easier for you to prioritise yourself and the things that make you you.
My first tip is Journaling. I encourage you to keep a journal and write down your thoughts, your dreams, and your desires. And when you’re about to make plans for yourself and mum guilt creeps in, revisit that journal and remind yourself of your goals and the importance of self-care. Having dreams and following them, will make you feel more on purpose and like you’re still your own person. So mama, it's time to get curious and start dreaming again. Those little nudges, those interests you've pushed aside, they matter. They are part of what makes you, YOU. So go ahead, grab a journal and explore them further.
My second tip is about understanding and practising Self-Compassion. Mum Guilt often stems from the misconception that putting ourselves first is selfish. So we need to reframe this belief, because having self-compassion and prioritising yourself isn’t selfish at all; it's a necessity. We all need to do it to be well and feel happy, and supported and like we matter.
Next time when mum guilt strikes, try having more self-compassion and treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you offer to your children. Remind yourself that self-care is essential for your wellbeing, and that it ultimately benefits you AND your family.
Start by recognizing that you deserve the same care, love, attention and understanding as your children. Think about how you would comfort them when they're upset and then apply that same kindness to yourself when you experience mum guilt. Mother the mother.
It's really crucial to understand that by prioritising yourself and pursuing your passions, you're setting a positive example for your children. You're showing them that self-compassion is an essential part of a fulfilling and happy life. And isn’t that the kind of life you want for them? And for yourself? So next time, you notice that mean voice in your head, try practising some self-compassion instead.
Tip #3 is about support systems. When you build a support system of people that you can be open and honest with, you can share the load instead of carrying it all alone. And I’m not just talking about sharing actual tasks that need to be done, but also about being able to share your goals and dreams as well as your challenges with a trusted friend or a family member. Having someone who understands your journey and who doesn’t make you feel judged, can make a huge difference and provide you with encouragement and sometimes also accountability. Feeling supported and heard can help you to challenge mum guilt more easily when it arises. So don’t be afraid to reach out to a friend or loved one who will encourage you to prioritise yourself instead of trying to talk you out of it (like your brain does by making you feel guilt).
Tip #4 is practising daily affirmations. You can create your own or use some of the affirmations that I shared in episode #29. The affirmations you use should be positive statements that reinforce the importance of self-care and making time for your personal interests. Write them down and/or repeat them to yourself regularly, especially when mum guilt tries to creep in.
My last practical tip for today is time blocking. Or better, dedicating specific time slots in your schedule for self-care and pursuing your interests. Treat these like important appointments with the same seriousness as any other commitment. The more often you do this and stick to those “appointments” in your calendar, the easier it’ll get with time, because you basically train your brain to get used to you having that time for yourself - without the guilt.
So what do you? Let's banish that mum guilt, because you deserve to have dreams, goals, and interests beyond motherhood. Your identity matters, not just as a mum, but as a unique individual.
And if you're looking for support to help you find time for yourself and your passions, I invite you to check out the Calm Resilient Mama Project, my 1-on-1 coaching program. We can work together to help you prioritise self-care and working towards your dreams, even on the busiest of days.
That’s it from me for today. Take care and I’ll talk to you next time.”
Not “Just” Mum: Balancing Motherhood and Your Personal Life (Episode 4)
Summary: In this episode, we explore the journey of being a loving, caring mum while rediscovering your individual interests and passions. You're more than "just" a mum, and it's important to nurture your interests and wellbeing. Learn how to start small, prioritise yourself, and follow your joy. Your happiness matters, mama!
Explore further support with the Calm Resilient Mama Project for finding time for yourself and your interests.
Transcript:
“Welcome to the Calm Resilient Mama Podcast. I’m Cindy Graham-Schmidt. I’m a Life Coach and mama of two. On this podcast I share with you coaching tools and tips to help you deal with challenges that life and motherhood throw at you. I will help you to enjoy your life more TODAY, because tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone.
Hey mama,
How are you?
I don’t know about you, but I love being a mum AND I still want to be more than “just” a mum.
I want to feel passion and purpose in other areas of my life too. I want to feel seen as more than “just” a mum.
Now I said more than “just” a mum a couple of times and that is NOT to diminish the role of being a mother at all. It’s definitely not, because I honestly think that what we do as mothers; as primary caregivers is amazing and so, so important. I mean we’re raising the next generation. How could that not be utterly important?
However, I also think that we need something outside of motherhood - whether you’re a stay-at-home-mum or you do paid work. We need something that makes us feel like ourselves. Something that makes us love life. Something that truly matters to us - other than our kids. In fact, I think we need many of those “things”. And no, by “things” I don’t necessarily mean actual things or possessions. More often than not it’s about experiences, because that’s what life is made up of, lots of different experiences.
It’s so easy to get lost in motherhood.I know that from my own experience when my first-born was still little. My whole world suddenly basically only revolved around her for quite some time. And I loved that at first, but then I also realised how exhausting that is.
We can’t just be there for our little ones and forget about ourselves in the process completely. And yes, it’s not necessarily easy to make time for yourself and for the things that you love that have nothing to do with your little ones or your family as a whole. I want you to know though that it’s not impossible, even if it might feel like that for you right now.
My tip is always to start small. For example, let’s start with you listening to this podcast right now. That is for you! You’re taking a few minutes to do something for yourself and I applaud you for that. It’s little steps like that that can create change.
And while I have you here doing something for yourself, let’s think about what it is that you do want outside of motherhood. What would you like to make time for that is just for you as a person? Any hobbies or interests? Any new or old projects? What haven’t you done in ages, but would love to do again? What’s something you’ve never done before, but would like to try just for the fun of it? What’s something that sparks your curiosity and joy? What topics interest you that have nothing to do with parenting?
I encourage you to start with answering those questions and just see where it leads you. Follow the little nudges and take a few moments of your day to start dreaming and pondering. Do some self-reflection and pick one thing at a time to dive in a bit deeper. Explore who you are outside of motherhood and create little pockets of time where you can follow your interests and your joy.
Stay open and curious about where this might lead you.
Take that time for yourself and your family will thank you for it, because they will notice a difference in how you feel and in how you approach things. They love you and want you to be happy, and you being happier and more fulfilled can make a difference to their mood and their wellbeing too. So it’s a win win really even if it might not feel like that in the beginning. Don’t let your brain trick you into mum guilt thinking that you can’t possibly make time for your hobbies and interests, because your family needs you to be available to them 24/7. That’s a lie! Take a few minutes for yourself each day at the very least, because your wellbeing matters, mama. You matter; and not just as the mum of your little ones. You matter as a person! Please don’t ever forget that. You are a person worthy of having your own dreams, goals and aspirations. You matter!
And if you want support in making more time for you and your interests; your hobbies and your joy, check out the Calm Resilient Mama Project, my 1-on-1 coaching program, because this is exactly the kind of work we would do together. I can help you with the logistics and the mindset you need to prioritise yourself more even when you feel like there’s just not enough time in the day to look after yourself AND after your family and all their needs.
There’s always a way and I’d love to help you find yours.
That’s it from me for today. Take care & talk to you next time.”
Episode 33: A Mum's Guide to Resilience: Thriving Through Motherhood
In this episode, discover essential strategies for mums to boost resilience and find more balance in the challenges of motherhood. Explore self-care, mindset shifts, support networks, time management, mindfulness and more. Your well-being matters, and this episode offers practical tips to empower you on your journey. Explore more on www.cindygrahamschmidt.com.
Transcript:
Welcome to the Calm Resilient Mama Podcast. I’m Cindy Graham-Schmidt. I’m a Life Coach and mama of two. On this podcast I share with you coaching tools and tips to help you deal with challenges that life and motherhood throw at you. I will help you to enjoy your life more TODAY, because tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone.
Hey mama,
How are you?
Today I want to talk about resilience and how you can develop and strengthen it as a mum.
Resilience in motherhood is crucial and it empowers you to navigate challenges with strength and confidence. It's about adapting, being flexible, and finding inner resources to maintain your wellbeing even in challenging and demanding times.
There are quite a few things you can do to build and strengthen your resiliency and I’ll talk about them now.
There is self-care, which has become a real buzzword really, but for a reason. Paying attention to and prioritising your own health and wellbeing matters just as much as paying attention to and prioritising the health and wellbeing of your little ones. It doesn’t just set a positive example for your kids when you look after yourself, it also helps you to have the capacity to deal with the normal demands of parenting, and life’s challenges and setbacks. It’s a lot easier to deal with challenges when you feel well and energised than when you feel drained and exhausted. So take good care of yourself and pay attention to what your body tries to tell you.
The second tool is that you can shift your mindset and, for example, embrace a growth mindset that reframes setbacks as learning opportunities and that sees challenges as stepping stones to grow and to make meaningful and important changes in your life.
Another important thing is having a support network. Making sure to develop and nurture genuine connections in your life; whether that’s with your extended family, fellow mums, old and new friends, or even support groups. Those kinds of connections are important, so that you can have open & honest conversations, and share your experiences, and challenges and goals.
Another, possibly less obvious thing that helps to build resilience, is time management. This includes balancing tasks by setting realistic expectations and leaving white space in your calendar, as well as learning to say no when necessary and delegating or even dropping things from your to-do-list in order to ease the load. All those things help you strengthen your resilience.
What goes along with time management is flexibility. That includes being able to adapt to changes and one of my favourites, embracing imperfection. Motherhood is unpredictable and being flexible and not trying to be perfect and do everything perfectly reduces stress.
Another helpful tool to build resilience is having a creative outlet. For example, this podcast is one of my creative outlets. That doesn’t mean that you need to start a podcast too, but you can explore other things, such as drawing, writing, singing or dancing. Actually, I recorded a podcast episode about this a while ago, that you can listen to, if you don’t feel particularly creative, but want to explore creativity anyway. It’s episode number 25 and is all about creativity. Engaging in creative activities that you enjoy can be a really good way to relieve stress and boost your mood. So I recommend you give it a try; whether you consider yourself creative or not.
The next very important tool is open and honest communication; meaning discuss your feelings with your partner (if you have one), or with family or friends, or a coach, like myself. Doing this helps you to get things out of your head and can therefore make them feel less overwhelming and, also, vulnerability fosters understanding and support. So giving the people in your life a chance to support you and listen to you, will do great things for your wellbeing.
The second last thing I want to mention is mindfulness. Practising mindfulness helps you to stay present and to manage stress. You could make things like deep breathing and meditation a part of your routine. For example, you can go to episode number 27, which is a guided meditation that I recorded for you, and you can listen to that regularly or check out other ones, for example on the Insight Timer app. There are also other short mindfulness practices that you can incorporate into your day and, I reckon, it’s worth doing some research and experimenting to figure out what works best for you.
The last but not least tool that I want to mention to help you build resilience is setting boundaries. Clearly defining, communicating and upholding your boundaries is important in order to preserve your energy and to prevent burnout. Again, there’s an episode that I recorded to help you do exactly that. Geez, it’s almost as if this whole podcast is designed to help you build resilience, isn’t it? Anyway, if you want to learn more about setting boundaries listen to episode 23 “Setting and Communicating Boundaries”.
Now this was a rather long list with a lot of recommendations, I know, but that’s a good thing, because that means there are lots of things you can do and try to build and strengthen your resilience; and you don’t have to tackle everything all at once or at all. It’s completely up to you what you choose and it’s also ok if building resilience takes time. In fact, it won’t happen overnight. You can always come back to this episode and listen to it again and choose the next step or tool. What matters is that you start somewhere, that you celebrate small wins (and big ones) and that you’re being patient and compassionate with yourself.
When you do all that you show your kids how to use all those important life skills, and you create a more joyful and more balanced life for yourself; and that matters, because you matter! Please don’t ever forget that. Your wellbeing matters, mama!
If you want support and accountability to help you build and strengthen resilience and if you want to tackle the things I just talked about one by one, then the Calm Resilient Mama Project is a great option for you, because in there I’ll share with you tips and tools to help you manage it all in a simple but powerful way, and you get 1-on-1 coaching with me to support you when life happens and things come up that you didn’t anticipate, and when your mind tries to make everything harder than it has to be. I’ll be there for you. We use Voxer, which is a free voice messaging app, and that means you can ask for support when you actually need it without any scheduling conflicts and I’ll be there to help you.
So head to my website www.cindygrahamschmidt.com and check out the Calm Resilient Mama Project, because it’ll help you to reduce your stress levels and enjoy life more even in between all the daily demands of motherhood.
That’s it from me for today. Take care and I’ll talk to you next time.
As a Life Coach and fellow mama, I believe in finding calmness amid life's challenges. Join me as we ditch the pursuit of perfection and dive into the joy of being perfectly imperfect. Explore the freedom of not always doing your best, and uncover the beauty of change and growth. Tune in to transform your approach to motherhood and prioritise your wellbeing.
If you're craving more support, check out the Calm Resilient Mama Project, my 1-on-1 coaching program.
Transcript:
“Welcome to the Calm Resilient Mama Podcast. I’m Cindy Graham-Schmidt. I’m a Life Coach and mama of two. On this podcast I share with you coaching tools and tips to help you deal with challenges that life and motherhood throw at you. I will help you to enjoy your life more TODAY, because tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone.
Hey mama,
How are you?
Today I want to talk about embracing imperfections, because I believe we’re all perfectly imperfect and there’s no point in striving for perfection, because there’s no such thing. I’ve even taught my 7 year old that “perfect” just doesn’t exist, because everyone has their own idea of what they consider to be perfect and what isn’t.
Now why does this all matter to you? Well I want this episode to be your permission slip to NOT do your best; to not try to get everything done from your to-do-list while already thinking ahead about the other 5 things that you forgot to put on your to-do-list. I want to help you to take the pressure off yourself and not strive to be the perfect mum, the perfect partner or the perfect friend.
Take a deep breath in and a very slow breath out. What would it feel like to not always be “switched on”? What would it feel like to let things go? What would it feel like to not do your best and to just put in the minimum effort for today?
Could that be ok? Would the world still keep turning? Would it allow you to take a breath and maybe even a break? Would that might even feel freeing?
I’d love for you to give it a try and see what it would actually look like and, more importantly, feel like in your body to not constantly do your best in everything you do. Try to let things be without shaming yourself or guilt tripping yourself in just doing this one more thing. Instead, try on the thought “I have done enough for now.” or “It’s ok to not always do my best.”
What do you feel like when you try on those thoughts? Does it stress you out, because you can’t actually believe them to be true? Does it feel relaxing or freeing even?
Because this is a podcast, I can’t talk with you and know what it might actually feel like for you. However, you’re more than welcome to message me and let me know what it feels like for you. Or you can take out a journal and reflect on your answers and how it all feels in your body.
Either way, it’ll give you a good insight on how hard or easy it is for you to let go of perfectionism, and it’ll give you an opportunity to practise having compassion for yourself.
I myself am a recovering perfectionist and found it really hard to let go of things and even now, there are things that I could possibly let go but I don’t because my brain tells me that only I can do certain things best. It can be hard to let go of “control”, because if we do things our self than we know that they get done the way we want and like them to get done, but that doesn’t mean that other ways of doing things wouldn’t work. Things don’t have to be perfect to be good.
Sometimes it can be good to let other people step up; to even give them the chance to step up; and do things their way even if it’s not done “your” way. That could help you to lighten your mental load.
Sometimes it can be good to drop something from your to-do-list even if you think it should be done. Who knows, it might turn out to be an opportunity to change a habit or routine or schedule and you end up finding an even better way to do things.
Sometimes it can be good if something went wrong or other than expected or if someone makes a mistake, because it can be an opportunity to learn something that you might’ve not learned or even considered otherwise.
Nothing is perfect and no one is perfect and I’d like to invite you to be ok with that and maybe even embrace it, because it can be an opportunity to learn and grow.
Our society and even we, ourselves, can put a lot of pressure on us to do it all, to have it all, to be it all and to get everything right, ideally the first time we ever try. It’s impossible and makes us feel stressed, overwhelmed, overworked and not focus on the things that really matter to us. It makes us go through the motions every day without considering our wellbeing, our joy and potentially even our loved ones.
Let’s change that one step, one day at a time. Life is perfectly imperfect and therefore gives us plenty of opportunities to learn and grow, if we can embrace imperfections and change.
Again, I’d like this episode to be your permission slip to take pressure of yourself and not always do your best. Come back to what really matters to you and notice how it feels in your body to embrace imperfections and change and mistakes even. Let life be messy, unpredictable and perfectly imperfect, just like we all are.
And if you want help with that, check out my 1-on-1 coaching program, the Calm Resilient Mama Project, because having someone in your corner can help you to focus and take it one step at a time without the pressure of perfectionism and even when life feels full and hectic.
That’s it from me for now. Take care and I talk to you next time .
This week is all about budgeting and saving. Listen to this episode, because you want to feel more in charge of your finances even with the current costs of living being so high.
If you want to tackle this or any other area of your life head on, check out the Calm Resilient Mama Project, my 1-on-1 coaching program, because you can make powerful changes even if it all feels too overwhelming and impossible right now.
Transcript:
Empower your finances: Budgeting tips for mamas (Episode 31)
“Welcome to the Calm Resilient Mama Podcast. I’m Cindy Graham-Schmidt. I’m a Life Coach and mama of two. On this podcast I share with you coaching tools and tips to help you deal with challenges that life and motherhood throw at you. I will help you to enjoy your life more TODAY, because tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone.
Hey mama,
How are you?
Today I want to talk about budgeting and saving, because of the currently high costs of living and because I’m currently very passionate about learning more about financial literacy.
I started a thread in my Facebook group, the Calm Resilient Mama Club, where everyone can share their favourite budgeting and saving tips with each other, and I thought this would be a good and relevant topic for the podcast too.
Before I go ahead and share some budgeting tips, I want to make sure that you know that that’s all they are, tips! This isn’t meant to be financial advice or anything like that, it’s simply things that I have learned and used myself, and you can decide for yourself and for your situation, if you want to go ahead and give them a try too.
So without further ado, here are my top budgeting tips at the moment.
The first one is probably a very obvious one, but still worth mentioning: aim to spend less money than you have coming in. In order to do that, you need to be fully aware of both what comes in and what goes out. If you don’t know those numbers, that would be a good place to start. Go over your bank statements from the last 3 months and get a good overview.
My second tip basically builds on the previous tip: make a family budget that includes all your expenses and, ideally, allows for saving. Recently, I even started having different bank accounts for different things. For example, one account for all essentiel direct debits, one for spending money to pay for all our groceries etc.,one for personal spending money, one high interest savings account for emergency funds and other savings accounts for specific goals. At first that seemed overwhelming, but I noticed it makes it a lot easier to stick to our budget.
My third tip plays into the budget as well: check if there are any expenses that you can reduce. For example, for me recently that was finding a cheaper brand of nappies that still works with my daughter’s sensitive skin. This could also be about comparing insurance prices, phone providers, buying more home brand products or shopping at different stores than you normally would, being more energy efficient or buying second hand clothes. Those are just some ideas of reducing costs.
My fourth tip is meal planning. Every week I make a plan for the next week of what I’m going to cook. This reduces the cost, because we only buy what we really need. It reduces food wastage AND it reduces overwhelm, because you don’t have to ask yourself every day what you’ll make for dinner and frantically run to the shops, because you’re missing any ingredients. As I’m actively working on reducing our grocery costs recently, I started to make sure I include 2-3 budget friendly meals each week.
So mama, what do you think? Are there any ideas here that’ll help you to reduce your cost of living, even if just by a bit? I really hope that this episode helps you to feel a bit more empowered about your financial situation and that it encourages you to tackle it head on instead of letting overwhelm run the show. This isn’t an easy topic, but it’s one we need to be able to talk about. Which is another tip in itself I guess, talk to your loved ones. Talk about your finances with the people that are involved. Talk about it if it worries or stresses you. You don’t have to carry this on your own. Talk about it to find solutions and ways to move forward. Money definitely isn’t everything, but it’s also not a topic we should shy away from. And even if you’re a stay-at-home mum and don’t get paid for all the work that you do, personal finances and financial literacy are still topics that are relevant to you. They are still important topics even if there’s no payday for you every fortnight or every month. You still get to learn and make empowered decisions for yourself and for your family. Not just because you need to with the current high costs of living, but because you deserve to feel knowledgeable and in charge of your finances.
If you want support in tackling this or any other area of your life, check out the Calm Resilient Mama Project, my 1-on-1 coaching program, on my website www.cindygrahamschmidt.com.
Also, two more tips that came from mums in my Facebook group, the Calm Resilient Mama Club, that I wanted to share with you:
- “No more bubble tea”, if you have an obsession with that, then this tip might be for you.
- And the other one was to only go to shops, if you really really have to and there’s no way around it.
That’s it from me for today. Talk to you next time.”
Do you find it hard to acknowledge (let alone celebrate) all the things you do everyday? Do you feel like you don’t do enough? I recorded this episode for you, mama, because you deserve to be acknowledged and celebrated - no matter how many things you ticked off your to-do-list today.
If you want to feel more supported, sign up for the Calm Resilient Mama Project, because it’s a great way to start and form new habits for your wellbeing.
Let’s try out another powerful tool together to help you feel more calm and resilient everyday. In this episode, I share supportive affirmations to help you challenge the negativity bias and change the way you think and feel about yourself. Using them will help you to treat yourself with the same love and care you aim to treat your child(ren) with.
Check out the Calm Resilient Mama Project for personalised 1-on-1 support.
This week I talk about budgeting and financial literacy. Doesn't sound interesting or spark joy for you? Then you definitely want to listen to this episode! Because if you don't feel on top of your finances, it can have a big impact on your ability to be a calm resilient mama.
Do you want to feel more in control in your life in general? Check out the Calm Resilient Mama Project, where we do a life audit together and then tackle the areas that need your attention the most right now.
Find me on Instagram
This episode is a bit different to the others. I recorded a short guided meditation to help you be a more calm and relaxed, mama. Have a listen and let me know how you feel afterwards.
Would you like to feel calm and resilient more often while raising your little ones? Let’s work on that together through my 1-on-1 coaching program. Find all the details here: www.cindygrahamschmidt.com/calm-resilient-mama-project
Do you find it hard to make time for your friends, mama? In this episode, I share some tips to help you stay connected with “old” friends and also make new friends - even when your days are filled with kids stuff, general life admin and lack of sleep.
Would you like to get support tailored to your specific situation? Check out my 1-on-1 coaching program the Calm Resilient Mama Project here: www.cindygrahamschmidt.com/calm-resilient-mama-project
Find me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/cindygrahamschmidt
Engaging in creative activities will help you to be a more calm resiliet mama. Listen to this episode to find out how.
I can help you to make time to (re)discover your creative side in my 1-on-1 coaching program the Calm Resilient Mama Project. Check it out here:
www.cindygrahamschmidt.com/calm-resilient-mama-project
Do you tend to bottle up your emotions or are you able to release them in a safe and effective way? In this podcast episode, I talk about techniques that allow you to release your emotions and it does not include snapping at the people that you love the most.
Want to learn more? Check out my 1-on-1 coaching program the Calm Resilient Mama Project: www.cindygrahamschmidt.com/calm-resilient-mama-project
Find me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/cindygrahamschmidt
In this episode, I share with you how to set and communicate boundaries in a way that supports you and improves your relationships. They can even bring you closer together with the people that you love. Have a listen to find out how.
Clear and honest communication might not be your strong point when you feel tired, overwhelmed and exhausted, mama. That’s why I share 5 tips in this episode to help you communicate better and (re-)create connection with the people you love.
In this episode I share with you why it's so important for us mamas to have white space in our weekly calendar. Especially when we struggle to juggle everything!
Let’s do a life audit together to help you create the life you want to have. You’ll figure out what is and isn’t working right now, and how you can make changes accordingly to improve your wellbeing.
Do you have people in your life that really get you and suport you? If not, this episode is for you. It'll give you an idea on how you can bring more supportive and like-minded people into your life.
This week's episode is all about rolling with the punches as a primary caregiver. It's about how to prioritise the things that YOU want to do when dealing with challenging circumstances, like when you're kids seem to get sick all the time.
In this episode I share how you can discover the shoulds that hold you back as well as a simple way to drop them.
Do you feel stressed, overwhelmed and stuck a lot? Listen to this episode and learn simple things you can do to help your nervous system recover and get stronger.
Curious about life coaching, but not sure what exactly it is? This episode is for you.
I talk about what it is, how it's different to counselling, and what life coaching can help you with. This episode is great to get you inspired and start dreaming about what might be possible for you.
This week's episode is about what to do when you're dealing with challenging circumstances, which can happen often - to all of us. I share two things that'll support you.
In this weeks episode, I share with you how the perfect mother myth effects how you parent and live your life, but also what you can do about it.
This week is a bit of an emotional share about my motherhood journey and why my work as a life coach for mums matters so much to me.
People often ask me how I manage to deal so well with sleepless nights. So I recorded this episode to share my practical tips with you.
The workload of parenting and running a household should be shared fairly. But what does that look like and how can we make changes if that's not the case? Listen to this episode to get tips.
This week, give life a chance to surprise you - in a positive way!
Think about all the POSITIVE possibilities or why something could go right or even better than you can imagine right now. Life can be pretty amazing. Just give it a chance.
In this episode, I talk about a tool that will help you to feel more energised and refreshed: your list of fun & joy.
This is your personal go-to list of all the things that you KNOW make you feel more at ease, relaxed, happy and joyful. I share questions that will make it easy for you to create your very own list and how to best use it.
Our joy is our superpower!
What are your top 3 priorities right now? And what could you give a lot less attention to?
Do you treat your priorities as such?
I’m sharing two powerful questions to help you figure out what you really want for yourself and your life.
Try the most simple and effective tool that'll make a huge difference in your life. Practicing gratitude will improve your happiness and wellbeing immensely. Give it a try and see for yourself.
On the Calm Resilient Mama podcast I’m going to share tips and coaching tools for loving but exhausted mamas.
Through short episodes this podcast is going to hold for space for them and support them on their motherhood journey, so that they (and their families) can experience more joy and love in their lifes - instead of just going through the motions day in and day out.