Monday Morning Mindset Shift: Recent Episodes
Jaime Filer
Welcome to the Monday Morning Mindset Shift, where I set you up for success going into the week by shifting your mindset. I share everything I've learned about mental health, self-development, productivity, mental toughness, and mindset so you can be the best version of yourself every single day.
Having struggled with an eating disorder, anxiety, Daddy issues, mommy issues, and everything in between, I feel empowered and strong enough to help people who are going through the same things. Give me 5-7 minutes on a Monday morning, and I’ll give you something thought-provoking and eye-opening to start your week. I want to give you bite-sized pieces of education, entertainment, and motivation to consume in order to make you feel invincible and bulletproof for the rest of your week!
This show is for anyone who's even struggled with self-esteem and self-worth, and KNOWS that they can do, be, and have more. This is for those committed to being the best version of themselves, leveling up, and winning at life. Hit subscribe, share with your friends, and let's eat the world for breakfast.
Are you using prayer, meditation, or 'waiting for clarity' to delay a health decision you already know you need to make? In this episode, we explore the difference between genuine spiritual discernment and delay disguised as devotion — and why your physical health is one of the most sacred investments you can make.
A must-listen for faith-driven, high-achieving professionals who are still 'sitting with it.'
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaimefilerfitness, or head to https://call.jaimefiler.com/form to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
A 58-year-old woman came to me stuck, frustrated, and ready for change. When I walked her through our program — the coaching, the accountability, the full support structure — she said we offered too much support. In this callout episode, we unpack why high-achieving women have been conditioned to distrust real help — and why that conditioning is keeping them stuck.
If struggling alone has ever felt like strength to you, this episode is going to challenge that.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaimefilerfitness, or head to https://call.jaimefiler.com/form to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
If you're a high-performing professional who can execute flawlessly at work but can't seem to make your health stick, this episode is the missing piece. We break down the all-or-nothing fitness trap, what chronic stress actually does to your metabolism, and why your body needs a trust-based approach — not more intensity.
Built for smart, successful people who are tired of starting over.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaimefilerfitness, or head to https://call.jaimefiler.com/form to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
You Can’t Heal What You Can’t Feel: Self-Awareness, the Nervous System, and Breaking the Habit Loop
If you’ve ever wondered why you keep ending up in the same patterns — same stress responses, same self-sabotage, same cycle of starting over — this episode is the missing piece. Licensed Clinical Social Worker and psychotherapist Lisa Arrigo joins the show to talk about the one thing most fitness and wellness conversations completely skip: self-awareness as the foundational skill of physical transformation.
Before your body can change, your nervous system has to feel safe enough to allow it — and before that can happen, you have to be able to see yourself clearly, your patterns, your triggers, your habit loops, without judgment. Lisa breaks down what’s actually happening in the body when high-functioning people are running on chronic stress, why emotional intelligence doesn’t protect you from disconnection, and how unresolved trauma quietly blocks physical change no matter how clean you eat or how hard you train.
If you’re ready to stop starting over and actually understand the system beneath the cycle — this one’s for you.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaimefilerfitness, or head to https://call.jaimefiler.com/form to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
You've tried the programs, the diets, the challenges — and you're still not where you want to be. In this episode, we unpack why high-performing people consistently put themselves last and what that's actually costing you mentally, physically, and emotionally.
If you've ever said 'I'll deal with my health later,' this episode is for you.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaimefilerfitness, or head to https://call.jaimefiler.com/form to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Feel like you start strong with your workouts and nutrition… only to fall off a few days later? This episode breaks down the real reason behind inconsistency—and it’s not a lack of discipline. Jaime Filer explains how your nervous system controls your ability to follow through, why cycles of burnout and “starting over” keep happening, and how anxiety and stress directly impact your habits, motivation, and results. If you’re tired of blaming yourself for falling off track, this episode will help you understand what’s actually going on in your body—and how to finally create consistency that lasts.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaimefilerfitness, or head to https://call.jaimefiler.com/form to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
If you’ve ever felt like you “should be able to do this on your own” but keep struggling with consistency, motivation, or your relationship with food and fitness—this episode will change how you see yourself. Jaime Filer dives into the myth of self-sufficiency and why high-achieving women often stay stuck trying to solve everything alone. Through personal stories of eating disorder recovery, anxiety healing, and identity work, Jaime reveals why support is the missing link—not discipline—and how external guidance, structure, and new perspectives are essential for lasting transformation. You’re not broken—you’ve just been trying to do it without the support you actually need.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaimefilerfitness, or head to https://call.jaimefiler.com/form to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
If you’ve been waiting to feel confident, motivated, or “ready” before you take action in your fitness, health, or life… this episode is your wake-up call. Jaime Filer breaks down why self-worth isn’t something you unlock through mindset work alone—but something you build through consistent, aligned action. Drawing from her experience with eating disorder recovery, Jaime shares how real change happens when you move before you believe, and how confidence is created through evidence—not thought loops. If you’re stuck in overthinking, self-doubt, or inconsistency, this episode will help you shift from hesitation to action.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaimefilerfitness, or head to https://call.jaimefiler.com/form to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
If setting boundaries makes you feel guilty, anxious, or “too much,” this episode is for you. In this powerful conversation, Jaime Filer explores the connection between self-worth and boundaries — especially for high-achieving lesbians who are used to over-functioning and people-pleasing. Learn why healthy boundaries may upset others, why that doesn’t mean you’re wrong, and how self-worth transforms your relationships, energy, and even your health. If you’ve ever felt like you only matter when you’re easy to deal with, this episode will help you reclaim your space.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaimefilerfitness, or head to https://call.jaimefiler.com/form to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
If you’re a burned out woman who has built a career, holds everyone else together, and still feels like fitness is the one area you “can’t get it together”, this episode is for you.
In this powerful mindset shift, I unpack why trying to do it all on your own isn’t a badge of honor ... it’s often the very thing keeping you stuck. You’ll learn why self-sufficiency can mask deeper patterns, how structure reduces anxiety and decision fatigue, and why elite performers rely on systems, not motivation, to create lasting results.
If you’ve ever thought, “I should be able to do this alone,” this episode will reframe everything. You don’t lack discipline. You lack design. And that’s fixable.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaimefilerfitness, or head to https://call.jaimefiler.com/form to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
If you’ve ever said “I’m not a high performer,” or “I just don’t see myself as someone who follows through,” this episode is for you. I dive into the identity gap between who you are and who you want to be, and how the fastest way to bridge that gap isn’t through motivation, but through embodiment.
You'll learn how to shift your internal narrative, stop living by your past, and start showing up like the version of you that already exists underneath the self-doubt.
If you’ve been waiting to feel ready… this is your sign to start becoming her now.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaimefilerfitness, or head to https://call.jaimefiler.com/form to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
If you’ve ever tried to “earn” your food with workouts or punish yourself for indulgent weekends, this episode is for you. I dives deep into the toxic reward-and-restriction cycle so many high-achieving women are stuck in—and shows you how it's sabotaging your fat loss, hormone health, and relationship with food.
Learn the science of under-fueling, how fasted workouts impact your nervous system, and what it really takes to eat like someone who wants to feel strong, calm, and energized. Ditch the diet guilt and discover how to fuel your body with intention, not shame.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaimefilerfitness, or head to https://call.jaimefiler.com/form to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Feeling stuck despite tracking your macros, lifting consistently, and doing everything right? In this episode, Jaime unpacks the real reason your progress may have stalled—hint: it's not your effort, it's your execution.
Learn the difference between strategy and reactivity, the biofeedback markers you should actually be tracking (sleep, digestion, hunger, strength), and how to build a system that creates real, sustainable fat loss and muscle gain.
If you're tired of second-guessing every meal and training day, this episode will give you both the mindset reset and the metrics to finally move forward.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaimefilerfitness, or head to https://call.jaimefiler.com/form to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
In this episode, I explores how strength training can help regulate anxiety for high-achieving women.
You’ll learn why heavy lifts help calm the nervous system, what to do in the gym this week, and how to fuel for better focus and emotional relief.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaimefilerfitness, or head to https://call.jaimefiler.com/form to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
In this episode, I break down the mindset shift from “I just want to be toned” to fueling like an athlete.
You’ll learn how under-eating sabotages your results, how to structure training for strength, and what it actually looks like to eat for performance and body change!
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaimefilerfitness, or head to https://call.jaimefiler.com/form to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
This episode unpacks why rest feels unsafe for high-achieving women—and what to do about it. Jaime explains the physiological and emotional roots of rest-resistance and provides 3 concrete tools to rewire your nervous system so rest becomes restorative, not threatening.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaimefilerfitness, or head to https://call.jaimefiler.com/form to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
In this episode, Jaime reveals why your high standards aren’t to blame for burnout—your lack of recovery is. Learn how under-recovery sabotages fat loss, hormone health, and mental clarity. Plus, walk away with 3 tools to repair your nervous system and finally get results that last.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaimefilerfitness, or head to https://call.jaimefiler.com/form to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
In this episode, Jaime redefines anxiety as a symptom of overload, not a lack of resilience. Learn how over-functioning affects your hormones, stalls your fat loss, and keeps your body in survival mode. This episode offers a new, science-backed path to sustainable health.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaimefilerfitness, or head to https://call.jaimefiler.com/form to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
In this episode, Jaime exposes the hidden toll of being "fine" while secretly fried. Learn how chronic stress and emotional suppression impact your workouts, recovery, and metabolism. Discover why your fitness plan isn't working anymore and how to rebuild from nervous system burnout.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaimefilerfitness, or head to https://call.jaimefiler.com/form to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Most people think they lose motivation during the workout — but the truth is, they lose it in the 10 minutes before they leave the house. In this episode, we explore the science behind the “intention-action gap” and why nearly 50% of people who intend to exercise never actually do. You’ll learn how friction, poor preparation, and weak systems derail momentum — and exactly how to create rituals and cues that make showing up automatic. If you’re tired of relying on willpower to stay consistent, this episode will show you how to finally build a system that does the heavy lifting for you.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaimefilerfitness, or head to https://call.jaimefiler.com/form to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Most people think hard things are hard because they’re inherently difficult. But in this episode, we explore a deeper truth: it’s the waiting that makes them worse. Based on Seneca’s quote, “It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult,” we’ll break down how avoidance multiplies fear, how procrastination creates mental mountains, and why courage isn’t a feeling — it’s a behavior. If you’ve been putting something off, this episode will help you take the first step — before hesitation turns into self-sabotage.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaimefilerfitness, or head to https://call.jaimefiler.com/form to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Most people think they need more discipline to change their life — but the truth is, your environment shapes your habits far more than your willpower ever will. In this episode, we dive into why your surroundings are either setting you up to succeed or sabotaging you behind the scenes. You’ll learn how to audit your environment, restructure your space, and finally stop relying on motivation to stay consistent with your fitness, nutrition, and mental health goals. If you’ve ever felt stuck, burned out, or like you keep starting over — this episode will show you why.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaimefilerfitness, or head to https://call.jaimefiler.com/form to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Most people think change takes time, pain, or a rock-bottom moment. But what if all it takes is a decision? In this episode, we unpack the wisdom of Alan Watts’ quote: “You are under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago.” We explore how identity is shaped by repeated stories, how to interrupt the ones keeping you small, and how to build momentum toward the version of you that’s been waiting to emerge. If you’ve been stuck in old patterns, this is your reminder — change starts now.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Many women with anxiety feel like they’ve lost themselves — their joy, their light, their confidence. In this episode, we explore the ancient wisdom of healing through joy, creativity, and connection. Inspired by a shamanic quote that asks, “When did you stop dancing? Singing? Being enchanted by stories?”, we uncover how reclaiming these pieces of yourself can be a powerful path back to your body and identity. If you’ve been surviving but not living, this episode is for you.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
You can’t do this alone — and you were never meant to. In this episode, I share a personal story about proposing to my wife, and why I didn’t just ask her dad for permission — I asked her mom and her mom’s four best friends. Because it took a village to raise her into the woman she is. And the same goes for your transformation: it takes community, support, tough love, and real accountability. If you’ve been trying to navigate your fitness journey alone, this episode is your wake-up call.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Your life doesn’t change when it’s easy — it changes when you make a single, powerful decision.
In this episode, we break down how one choice can set off a chain reaction of better habits, stronger actions, and real transformation. You’ll learn why most people miss these moments, what they actually look like, and how to stop waiting for clarity and start creating momentum today. If you’ve been feeling stuck, this episode is your wake-up call.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
The hard part doesn’t get easier just because you avoided it.
This episode breaks that down in a way that’s going to land deeply if you’ve been:
- Avoiding the next hard step in your transformation
- Putting off a conversation, decision, or truth
- Waiting for the “right moment” to deal with something heavy
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
In this episode, I share a raw, real story about getting ghosted on a 52-minute sales call, and dive deep into why so many people can’t handle uncomfortable conversations. From people-pleasing to perfectionism, we explore how our childhood, ego, and cultural conditioning have made us avoid honesty when it matters most. Whether you’re in business, coaching, or working on yourself, this episode will challenge you to stop running from discomfort and start owning your voice.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
we’re getting real about the most overlooked factor in your success:
Your relationship.
Inspired by Alex & Leila Hormozi’s iconic quotes on partnership and marriage, we’re unpacking:
✅ Why who you marry is the highest ROI decision of your life
✅ What it really means to be “both the quarterback” in your relationship
✅ How your partner affects your business, your energy, and your confidence
✅ Signs your relationship is aligned — or silently sabotaging your growth
Whether you’re single, dating, or 10 years deep — this episode will challenge the way you think about love, leadership, and long-term success.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
What do you do when anxiety, money fears, or even your partner’s doubts are holding you back from investing in yourself? In this powerful episode, I sit down with Travis Dalrymple — author of How to Suck as a Leader and former America’s Got Talent finalist — to talk about what it really takes to face fear, rebuild confidence, and take the leap into a better life.
We cover:
- Why anxiety skyrockets before big life changes (and how to calm it)
- How to know if “I can’t afford it” is truth or just fear in disguise
- What to do if your spouse or partner doesn’t support your growth
- How your home life and business/fitness life are deeply connected
- Why alignment is the hidden key to success in every area of life
If you’ve ever felt paralyzed by fear of failure, worried about money, or torn between what you want and what others expect of you, this episode will give you the courage and clarity to finally move forward.
👉 Tune in, take notes, and walk away ready to trust yourself again.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
In this episode, I share the raw story of how I turned one of the darkest seasons of my life — my mom’s cancer diagnosis — into the fuel that helped me transform. From committing to 75 Hard to earning my bodybuilding pro card, this isn’t about motivation — it’s about reclaiming power when everything feels like it’s falling apart. If you're navigating grief, chaos, or emotional overwhelm, this message will meet you where you are — and show you what’s still possible.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Change is coming — whether you’re ready or not. In this episode, I share the raw truth about navigating major life shifts: in relationships, identity, business, and self-worth. From personal stories of loss, growth, and emotional reckoning, to practical insight on how to stay grounded when the ground is moving beneath you — this is your permission to evolve. If you’re in a season of uncertainty or transformation, this conversation will meet you right where you are.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
You are a thousand stories — not a fixed identity. In this episode, I unpack what it means to evolve without apology, how to stop performing for others’ approval, and how to reclaim power in your own complexity. If you’ve ever been called ‘too much’ or felt like a stranger in your own life, this one’s for you.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
In this episode, I dive deep into how to set boundaries when you struggle with anxiety. You’ll hear a raw, personal story about people-pleasing, self-betrayal, and how avoiding conflict can quietly destroy your sense of self. Learn practical tips for communicating your needs, managing the guilt, and growing real confidence — one small boundary at a time. If you’re tired of living in fear of disappointing others, this is your sign to take your power back!
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Ever feel like you’ve completely lost yourself—and have no idea how to get back?
In this raw, unfiltered episode, I share the truth about how I spent 11 months self-abandoning, spiraling, and disconnecting from everything that made me me—my routines, my identity, my body— and how I’m NOW slowly rebuilding from the inside out.
This isn’t about quick fixes or 5AM routines. It’s about the messy, beautiful reality of starting over after burnout, anxiety, and even identity loss.
If you feel like a stranger in your own body or like you’ve drifted too far to return—this episode will feel like a deep exhale.
A reminder that you’re not broken. And that it’s never too late to come home to yourself.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Feel like everyone else has it all figured out—and you’re the only one still struggling? You’re not alone. In this unfiltered solo episode, Jaime Filer breaks down the truth behind comparison, perfection, and why the people you admire aren’t as flawless as they seem.
You’ll hear:
- Why “perfect people” don’t exist (and what they’re not telling you)
- The dangers of putting others on pedestals
- How to shift from comparison to self-trust
- Why your journey is valid—mess and all
If you’ve ever felt like you’re behind, broken, or not enough, this episode will remind you: You’re human. Just like them.
And what one person can do? You can do, too.
🎧 Listen now and reclaim your power, your pace, and your path.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Are you showing up at a level that makes you indispensable—or just doing the bare minimum to get by? In this episode, Jaime Filer calls out the mindset and behaviors that keep people stuck in “good” and shows you what it takes to become great—in your career, your business, and your life.
Inside, we unpack:
- Why most people play small (and don’t even realize it)
- The exact difference between good and great employees
- How entrepreneurs can shift from copying to innovating
- What makes someone truly irreplaceable—and how to become one
This isn’t just about money. It’s about leadership, ownership, and showing up in a way that commands value.
🎧 Listen now and start executing at a level that no one can ignore.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
In this vulnerable episode, I share the powerful story of the two monks and how that simple lesson — “this too shall pass” — became a lifeline during 11 of the hardest months of my life. If you’ve ever felt stuck in the storm, doubting if you’ll make it through, this episode offers raw truth, deep reflection, and a path forward. Learn how to find peace within the chaos and remember that no storm lasts forever.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
In this episode, I share a personal story of how “waiting until later” nearly cost me everything — me purpose, my relationship, and my sense of self. Learn how comfort becomes a trap, why habits harden over time, and how to break free from the illusion of "readiness." If you’ve been delaying action on something you know you need to do, this episode is your wake-up call. You’ll walk away with real insight, emotional fire, and a path forward. This might be the best chance you have to change — and it starts now.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
In this episode, I share the raw truth about how my ego was sabotaging my relationship and shutting down real communication with my wife, Katie. If you’ve ever felt like you’re pushing people away while trying to hold it all together — this one’s for you. Discover the silent ways ego can destroy connection, and what it really means to show up with strength, vulnerability, and leadership. Plus, learn how to break the cycle and start building a stronger body, mindset, and life — together.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
In this episode, we explore the deep connection between vulnerability and feeling worthy of love—especially for anxious lesbians ;-) I share my personal story of how I avoided vulnerability for years, believing it made me weak, only to realize it was building walls between me and the people I cared about the most. If you struggle with emotional walls, anxious attachment, or fear being “too much” in relationships, this episode will help you soften, reconnect, and begin healing.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Struggling to stay consistent in your workouts, nutrition, or habits? You’re not broken — you’re just avoiding the hard reps. In this episode, I break down the truth behind why you’re “bad” at things, and why repetition is the only real solution. Whether it’s squats, meal prep, or building confidence, you’ll learn how to stop running and start rising. If you’ve ever felt stuck, unmotivated, or frustrated with your progress… this one’s for you.
🎧 Listen now to discover how doing the thing you avoid is the fastest path to confidence, strength, and success.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
In this episode of Monday Morning Mindset Shift, we're calling out one of the sneakiest forms of self-sabotage: making excuses and calling it "valid." If you've ever said, “I didn’t have time” or “I just wasn’t motivated,” you might be unintentionally giving away your power.
We’re diving into why excuses are more than bad habits—they're a way of surrendering your agency, and how to take it back. Learn how to spot these subtle behaviors, shift your language, and make more empowered decisions this week.
If you’re ready to stop blaming your schedule and start owning your results—this one’s for you.
📩 Subscribe for weekly mindset tips
🎧 Listen now and step into your next level.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
“I can protect you from everything… except me.”
Those were the words I said to my wife—and they shook me to my core.
In this raw and vulnerable episode, I unpack what it means to be the storm in your own love story. The one who overthinks, self-sabotages, pushes people away, then spirals in shame when they leave. If you’re a lesbian or queer woman with anxiety, attachment wounds, or a nervous system that’s been wired for survival instead of safety… this one is for you.
We talk about:
- Being the “walking red flag” in your relationship
- The emotional cost of self-awareness without healing
- And why our coaching program is helping women feel safe—for the first time in their lives.
If life has ever felt overwhelming… if you’ve ever been scared of how deeply you feel… if you’re craving safety but don’t know how to let it in—this episode will make you feel seen.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
What if the grind you’re proud of… is the thing that’s quietly burning you out?
In this raw and unfiltered episode, I’m diving into the invisible burnout—the kind that doesn’t show up in your workouts, but lives in your mind. The kind that disguises itself as ambition, discipline, or “just being busy,” but is actually fear in disguise.
👉 Fear of slowing down.
👉 Fear of not being enough unless you’re producing something.
👉 Fear that rest = failure.
If you’ve ever said “I’m fine” with a tight chest and a tired soul—this one’s for you.
🎧 Tune in now and let this be your permission to pause, breathe, and just be human for a moment.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Burnout vs. Laziness: How to Know When You Actually Need Rest
(And why taking a break won’t ruin your progress)
If you’ve ever felt guilty for skipping a workout or wrestled with whether you’re actually burned out… or just being “lazy”—this episode is for you. 👇
In today’s solo riff, I’m sharing the real talk I wish I had years ago:
✨ How to tell when your body is truly asking for rest
✨ The signs of physical burnout most high-performers ignore
✨ The difference between discipline and disconnection
✨ And why taking 1–2 days off won’t kill your progress—but pushing through might
This one’s for the overachievers, the all-or-nothing girls, the queer women trying to “do it all” without burning the whole thing down.
Your strength isn’t in doing more.
It’s in knowing when to pause.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
When They Say No: Rejection, Redirection & Why It’s Not About You
Rejection sucks — but it doesn’t mean what you think it does. Whether you’re hearing “no” on sales calls or in life, this episode will shift your entire relationship with the word. I’ll share real talk from my own experience and how I learned to take rejection as information, not a reflection of my worth. If you’ve been doubting yourself lately, this is the mindset reset you need.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
This episode, "Dear Virgo" is a love letter to every sensitive soul who's ever been told they're "too much."
In this episode, I open up about the moments when emotions feel too big to hold, when careless words cut deep, and when we react faster than we can calm down.
If you've ever felt ashamed for caring too deeply or protecting yourself too fiercely — this is for you.
I see you. You're not broken. Your sensitivity is your gift.
Plus, I share 3 soft, powerful strategies for managing your emotions without losing your fire.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
You Can’t Care More Than They Do (Hard Truths That’ll Set You Free)
If you’ve ever tried to help someone who just wouldn’t help themselves — this one’s for you. In this episode, I’m breaking down why trying to care for or fix someone who isn’t ready only leads to burnout and resentment. You’ll learn how to lead with love without losing yourself, and how to stop wasting your energy on people who don’t want the change as badly as you do.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
If you’ve ever said, “I’ll start when things calm down,” or “If I can’t do it right, I won’t do it at all,” this episode is for you.
Today, we’re exposing perfectionism for what it really is: fear pretending to be discipline. I’ll break down how this mindset keeps you stuck, how to rewire it, and what to do instead to finally build momentum.
You don’t need to be perfect to make progress—you just need to start showing up, messy and all.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Not everyone will clap when you start choosing yourself—and that’s not your problem.
In this episode of Monday Morning Mindset Shift, we’re unpacking how to protect your peace when the people around you don’t get it. Whether it’s side comments, pressure to stay the same, or straight-up judgment, I’ll walk you through exactly how to set boundaries, stop over-explaining, and stay committed even when the support isn’t there.
This one’s for anyone who’s ever felt like their growth made other people uncomfortable.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
When you feel good about yourself, everything else improves. This episode explores how building confidence in one area of your life can create a domino effect—improving relationships, boosting productivity, and reigniting your passions. #ConfidenceRippleEffect #FeelGoodLiveWell
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Struggling to lose weight despite eating clean and working out? Anxiety might be sabotaging your progress more than you think. When your body is in constant fight-or-flight mode, it holds onto fat, messes with your metabolism, and makes cravings impossible to resist. In this episode, we break down the science behind stress and weight loss, why restrictive diets make it worse, and how to train smarter (not harder) so your body starts working with you instead of against you.
🔹 How chronic stress affects fat storage
🔹 Why dieting triggers your body's survival response
🔹 Smarter training and eating strategies that lower stress and boost metabolism
Listen now and learn how to finally get results without burning yourself out.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Your anger and anxiety aren’t the enemy—they’re messengers. In this episode of Monday Morning Mindset Shift, we break down the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model, revealing how these emotions are just "parts" of you, not your whole identity. Learn three powerful strategies—the 3-2-1 Pause, Part Dialogue, and Unblending Visualization—to create space between yourself and your reactions. When you stop fighting your emotions and start listening to what lies beneath, true healing begins.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
You’re doing everything “right”—counting calories, hitting the gym, eating clean—but your body won’t budge. The problem? Stress. Chronic stress keeps your body in survival mode, jacking up cortisol levels and making fat loss nearly impossible.
In this episode, we’re diving deep into:
✅ The hidden ways stress is sabotaging your metabolism
✅ Why overtraining and restrictive diets backfire on fat loss
✅ How to regulate your nervous system so your body lets go of weight
If you’re sick of spinning your wheels, it’s time to stop fighting your body and start working with it. Listen now and start seeing real results.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Feeling stretched too thin? Overwhelm can stop you in your tracks, but it doesn’t have to. In this episode, we share simple, practical strategies to create calm amidst chaos, helping you stay grounded while working toward your health goals. #OvercomeOverwhelm #CreateCalm
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Anxiety can leave you stuck, doubting yourself at every turn. In this episode, we walk through how to rebuild self-trust and move from fear to action. With simple, achievable steps, you’ll learn how to reconnect with your inner strength and confidence. #TrustYourselfAgain #AnxietyToAction
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
If you’re feeling drained and unmotivated, you’re not lazy—you’re burned out. This episode reframes the narrative around low energy and provides actionable tips to recover from burnout and reignite your spark. Your energy comeback starts here. #BurnoutRecovery #ReclaimYourEnergy
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Struggling to reach your goals? It’s not because you’re incapable—it’s because you don’t show up for yourself. In this episode, I’m breaking down the harsh truth about why you keep falling short, from quitting when things get hard to ghosting on the commitments you make (yes, including sales calls). If you’ve ever told yourself, “I’ll start when I’m ready,” this is your wake-up call. Success isn’t about motivation—it’s about follow-through. Listen now and learn how to stop self-sabotaging and finally step into the version of yourself who gets results
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Struggling with anxiety, jealousy, or overwhelm? In this episode of Monday Morning Mindset Shift, we break down the science-backed truth: feelings are just temporary sensations—not facts, not your identity. Learn how to stop over-identifying with emotions, use simple mindfulness techniques to process them, and move forward without getting stuck. Plus, I share my personal journey with jealousy and how I turned it from an emotional roadblock into a powerful tool for growth. Tune in to start mastering your mindset today! 🚀
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Do you feel guilty about putting yourself first? You’re not alone. In this episode, we explore how prioritizing your health benefits not just you but your loved ones, too. Learn how to reframe self-care and give yourself the permission to thrive. #SelfCareWithoutGuilt #ThriveNotSurvive
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Motivation is fleeting, but mindset is everything. This episode dives deep into why mental health and identity shifts are the foundation of any lasting transformation. Discover how to strengthen your inner game to create the outer results you want. #MindsetMastery #InnerStrength
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Quick fixes sound tempting, but they rarely stick. In this episode, we challenge the diet and workout fads and share why simplicity is the key to sustainable transformation. If you’re ready to feel amazing without the burnout, this one’s for you. #SustainableHealth #KeepItSimple
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Is self-sabotage keeping you stuck? Dive into the hidden habits, fears, and limiting beliefs that derail progress in health and happiness. This episode is packed with tips to transform those roadblocks into opportunities for growth. Let’s turn the struggle into a springboard! #OvercomeSelfSabotage #UnlockYourPotential
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
What’s holding you back from living boldly and authentically? This episode explores how anxiety creates a gap between who you are and who you want to be. Learn the mindset shifts and strategies to close that gap and start showing up as your best self. #ConfidenceBuilding #MindsetMatters
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Are you tired of feeling stuck in a loop of stress and self-doubt? In this episode, we uncover why so many women feel trapped in cycles of anxiety and overwhelm. Discover the first actionable steps to reclaim your confidence, clarity, and strength. It’s time to break free and step into the life you deserve. #BreakFreeFromAnxiety #FindYourStrength
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Ever feel a surge of motivation at the start of a new year, month, or week? That’s the fresh start effect in action! In this episode of Monday Morning Mindset Shift, we explore the psychology behind fresh starts, why they boost motivation, and how to use them to create real, lasting change. Learn actionable strategies to set clear goals, build systems for success, and even manage anxiety with this powerful mental reset. Tune in and discover how to make every day a fresh start!
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Do you ever feel guilty for taking time for yourself? Like self-care is selfish, or you’re “slacking off” while everyone else is working? Let’s clear that up: self-care is not selfish. 🚨
When you’re constantly giving to others without filling your own cup, burnout isn’t just possible — it’s inevitable. Your energy, focus, and patience all start to fade. And guess what? That doesn’t just hurt you; it hurts the people relying on you, too.
Taking care of yourself — whether that’s a quiet walk, a workout, or simply saying “no” — is necessary for showing up as your best self. 💛 When you prioritize your well-being, you’re better equipped to handle stress, support loved ones, and tackle challenges.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
In this episode of Monday Morning Mindset Shift, we explore the powerful quote: “There is too much bad news to justify complacency. There is too much good news to justify despair.” Discover how to navigate the tension between the challenges we face and the hope that still exists. Learn practical strategies to take meaningful action without feeling overwhelmed and to stay hopeful without ignoring reality. If you’ve ever felt torn between despair and optimism, this episode will help you find balance and purpose. Tune in to shift your mindset and start making a difference today!
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
In this episode of Monday Morning Mindset Shift, we explore the transformative concept of "99% is a bitch. 100% is a breeze." Discover why partial commitment creates resistance, indecision, and stress — and how going all-in can simplify your life and supercharge your progress. Learn practical strategies to shift from hesitation to full commitment, eliminate mental back-and-forth, and create freedom through consistency. If you’re ready to stop negotiating with yourself and start taking action, this episode is your guide to embracing 100%. Tune in and unlock the power of showing up fully!
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
In this episode of Monday Morning Mindset Shift, we tackle the anxiety workout paradox — that frustrating cycle where anxiety makes it hard to start exercising, even though you know it will help. Discover why movement is one of the most effective tools for calming your mind and how to overcome the mental and physical hurdles anxiety creates. With five practical strategies to make workouts feel approachable, even on your toughest days, this episode is your guide to breaking the cycle. Perfect for anyone ready to reclaim their energy, reduce stress, and find peace through movement. Tune in to learn how to make exercise work for you, not against you!
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
In this episode of Monday Morning Mindset Shift, we explore how our high expectations can fuel anxiety and lead to constant stress. When we cling to rigid ideas of how life should be, we often end up feeling disappointed and overwhelmed. But there’s a better way. Join us as we dive into the practice of equanimity — learning to stay calm and centered regardless of life’s ups and downs. With practical tips to release unrealistic expectations, embrace the present, and focus on effort over outcomes, this episode will help you cultivate a mindset of inner peace and resilience. Perfect for anyone ready to shift from perfectionism to a more balanced, fulfilling life!
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
In this episode of Monday Morning Mindset Shift, we explore the surprising link between empathy and anxiety. While empathy connects us and deepens our relationships, it can also weigh us down and trigger anxiety, especially for those who already struggle with stress. Tune in as we break down the science behind this “empathy overload,” explain why setting emotional boundaries is essential, and share practical strategies to care deeply without feeling overwhelmed. If you’re someone who “feels it all,” this episode is a must-listen for preserving your peace while keeping your compassion intact.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
When we choose to see stress as enhancing, it becomes a tool for growth. We’re not saying stress is easy or fun, but when we embrace it and reframe it, stress can become a resource. It can push us to achieve things we might have never thought possible. The difference is all in how we see it.
So, as you go through this week, I challenge you to practice these steps. Start small. Shift your mindset, breathe, and remind yourself that stress isn’t always a bad thing. It’s there to help us grow, to challenge us, and yes, even to help us thrive.
If today’s episode spoke to you, share it with someone who could use a new perspective on stress. And remember, next time you’re feeling that tension, take a deep breath, reframe, and watch how powerful stress can be in moving you forward.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
In today’s episode of Monday Morning Mindset Shift, we explore the concept of the “pain cave” — that mental space where our anxieties, fears, and painful emotions live. While it’s tempting to avoid these feelings, sidestepping the discomfort only holds us back from real growth and inner peace. Tune in as we talk about why stepping into your pain, instead of running from it, can build resilience and help you understand yourself on a deeper level. Whether you’re struggling with anxiety, self-doubt, or stress, this episode will guide you on how to turn the pain cave into a space for transformation.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
In this episode of MONDAY MORNING MINDSET SHIFT, we explore the inevitable nature of change and how to stop resisting it. Building on our last discussion about impermanence, we’ll dive into why change is a necessary part of growth and how shifting your mindset can turn fear into opportunity. Instead of fighting the uncertainty of life’s transitions, learn how to embrace them, trust the process, and see change as a powerful tool for your personal evolution. Tune in to discover how to flow with life’s ups and downs and step into new possibilities with confidence.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
In this episode of Monday Morning Mindset Shift, we dive into the powerful idea of embracing the impermanence of life. Instead of fearing death, we explore how accepting it can actually enhance our experience of living. By acknowledging that everything in life is temporary—whether it’s relationships, careers, or our own existence—we gain a new perspective on what really matters. This shift allows us to show up fully in each moment, appreciate the present, and live with more intention and purpose. Death becomes less of a looming fear and more of a reminder to focus on what lights us up and make meaningful choices with our time. Tune in to discover how letting go of the need to control and hold onto everything can lead to more freedom, joy, and a deeper appreciation for the everyday moments that make life rich.
If you're interested in more mindset and health hacks for overwhelmed women, find me on Instagram @jaim91, or head to https://shorturl.at/HC5XO to learn more about the 16 week 3R Method
Navigate the delicate art of handling rejection and feedback with finesse on our podcast, inspired by Kim Scott's Radical Candor. Dive into practical strategies and insightful discussions that empower you to transform criticism into catalysts for growth. Learn the art of embracing feedback with an open heart and leveraging rejection as a stepping stone to success. Our episodes blend Kim Scott's revolutionary principles with real-world applications, providing a roadmap to foster a culture of candid communication. Whether in professional or personal spheres, discover how Radical Candor can reshape your approach to critique, enhancing relationships and propelling personal development. Subscribe now to embark on a journey of resilience, self-improvement, and effective communication. Tune in and master the art of handling rejection and feedback like a pro! 🚀🗣️
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Dive into the transformative world of abundance mindset with our podcast! Discover the profound impact of cultivating a mindset steeped in abundance rather than scarcity. Explore the psychological benefits, from heightened resilience to increased creativity, as we unravel the power of positive thinking. Through expert insights and practical tips, we guide you on a journey to shift your perspective on wealth, success, and fulfillment. Learn how embracing abundance can reshape your approach to challenges, relationships, and opportunities, fostering a mindset that attracts prosperity. Join us for discussions on overcoming scarcity mentality, embracing gratitude, and unlocking the doors to abundance in all facets of life. Subscribe now to elevate your mindset, amplify your possibilities, and manifest a life rich in abundance. Tune in and let the journey to an abundant mindset begin! 🌱💡
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Embark on a mind-transforming journey with our podcast as we delve into the art of reframing your mindset using the principles of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). Uncover the science-backed techniques that empower you to reshape your thinking patterns, fostering resilience and positive change. From dismantling limiting beliefs to mastering effective communication with yourself, our episodes are a practical guide to leverage NLP for personal growth. Join us as we demystify the psychology behind NLP, providing actionable steps to reprogram your mind for success. Elevate your mindset, enhance emotional intelligence, and embrace a life of limitless possibilities. Subscribe now to revolutionize your thinking and navigate challenges with newfound clarity and confidence. Transform your life through the lens of NLP and unlock the untapped potential within you. Tune in and rewrite your story! 🔄🧠
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Would love to have you join the conversation on IG: instagram.com/jaim91
Or come hang in my Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/teamjaim91
Dive into the intricacies of self-esteem and self-concept in this enlightening podcast! Unpack the distinctions between these two vital aspects of self-awareness and understand how they shape your identity. From dissecting the psychological underpinnings to practical strategies, we explore the nuanced terrain of building a robust self-concept and fostering healthy self-esteem. Gain insights into the impact of societal influences, personal experiences, and cognitive processes on these facets of self-perception. Our expert-led discussions provide actionable tips for enhancing both self-esteem and self-concept, empowering you to cultivate a positive self-image and navigate life with confidence. Tune in to discover the keys to authentic self-discovery, resilience, and personal growth. Elevate your understanding of yourself and embark on a journey toward holistic self-development. Subscribe now for a transformative exploration into the world of self-esteem and self-concept! 🌱🧠
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Unlock the power of self-confidence with our dynamic podcast! Join us as we unravel practical strategies and expert insights on cultivating unshakable self-assurance. From conquering self-doubt to embracing your unique strengths, we guide you through a transformative journey towards robust self-confidence. Delve into actionable tips that transcend superficial affirmations, focusing on tangible steps to build genuine self-belief. Whether it's mastering effective communication, setting achievable goals, or embracing failure as a stepping stone, we've got you covered. Our episodes blend psychological principles with real-world applications, offering a comprehensive roadmap to boost your self-esteem. Subscribe now to embark on a confidence-building expedition, gaining the skills to navigate life's challenges with poise and charisma. Elevate your self-confidence and step into a more empowered version of yourself. Tune in and thrive! 🚀🌟
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Explore the Arctic charm of Tromsø, Norway, where winter transforms into a playground! In this podcast, uncover the unique ways Tromsø's residents turn winter blues into winter hues. Discover the secret behind their cheerful approach to the chilly season and the creative activities that make snow and ice their allies. From dazzling northern lights escapades to quirky winter festivals, we unveil the local hacks for embracing the cold with a smile. Join us for an engaging journey into Tromsø's winter wonderland, where the icy months are not just endured but celebrated with zest. Your guide to turning frost into fun awaits! ❄️🎉
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Would love to have you join the conversation on IG: instagram.com/jaim91
Or come hang in my Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/teamjaim91
Welcome to the podcast dissecting a common life snag: the impact of comparison on our well-being. We unravel the psychology behind why comparing ourselves to others can lead to joy depletion. No fluff, just practical insights and strategies to sidestep this mental trap. Delve into the research-backed reasons behind our tendency to compare and discover actionable steps to cultivate a healthier mindset. Join me as we explore the nuances of comparison, providing you with the tools to foster genuine contentment. It's a deep dive into the science and strategies to reclaim your joy without the cheesy vibes. Tune in and let's get insightful! 🎙️
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Would love to have you join the conversation on IG: instagram.com/jaim91
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Instead of seeing everyone for who they are, we are only able to see them through the lens we’ve created for how we view the world.
That lens is constructed piece by piece throughout our lives, depending on our traumas, pains, achievements, and life events.
There’s no one to blame, especially not yourself, if you find yourself projecting your deepest fears or your strict standards onto other people. It’s natural. It’s part of being human.
Projecting is when you believe something about the world and then start to see it in other people. Each one of us HAS been hurt, bullied, bruised, traumatized, made to feel insecure or lesser than… So we create stories that support that narrative.
We need to start recognizing that our brains as just trying to "keep us safe" - and get over that - in order to remove the barrier of anxiety and distrust.
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Would love to have you join the conversation on IG: instagram.com/jaim91
Or come hang in my Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/teamjaim91
If you believe you’re not good enough, then you think you’re not good enough to take opportunities that come your way, and in fact, you may not even SEE the opportunities because your brain won’t pick up on them. Change your beliefs that reflect the old limiting belief to “I am good enough", and you’ll see the difference.
In today's episode, we teach you how to rewire your brain to identify where those beliefs came from, and what we can do to change them.
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Would love to have you join the conversation on IG: instagram.com/jaim91
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“Self–worth is so vital to your happiness if you don't feel good about yourself, it's hard to feel good about anything else.” — Sandy Hale.
You get broken up with, you feel crappy about yourself. Your mom tells you that you’re looking like you put on weight, you feel badly about yourself. You get fired. You feel crappy. But that’s letting other people dictate your value. That’s not for them to dictate! In today's episode, we talk about how to develop your self worth; which is essential to literally everything else you do.
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Would love to have you join the conversation on IG: instagram.com/jaim91
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"Every action you take is a vote for the person you want to become." - James Clear
The British rowing team had not won a gold medal since 1912. By all measures, they didn’t have a good rowing program.
Then something changed. In anticipation of the 2000 Sydney Olympics, the team developed a useful strategy that changed everything. They went from being an average rowing team to winning Olympic Gold. They developed a one-question response to EVERY SINGLE DECISION they made. This one question allowed them to measure every situation, decision, and obstacle — and to not get derailed where most people do.
With every decision or opportunity, every member of the team asked themselves: WILL IT MAKE THE BOAT GO FASTER?
Example: you get invited to a late night party the night before training. WILL IT MAKE THE BOAT GO FASTER?
If the answer is no… then the decision is no.
Tempted to eat a doughnut? WILL IT MAKE THE BOAT GO FASTER?
The British rowing team used this single question — a profound implementation intention — to quickly escalate their unity, skills, conditioning, and training.
They destroyed their competition and won GOLD.
Going forward, think about your core values. Your priorities. With every decision you make, do you consider whether you're acting in line with those values and priorities? Are you making your own boat go faster?
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The top 5 reasons we get in our own way, and end up sabotaging ourselves!
1) We don't have goal clarity
2) We don't have a solid plan
3) We hate restriction
4) We want to feel safe
5) We don't know the reward we're getting
In today's episode, we expand on all 5 to try and figure out why you keep sabotaging yourself, and getting in the way of your success.
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How do you know what you should dive into when it comes to where you spend your time?
What's worth your time?
Are your goals really yours, or are you trying to meet someone's expectation?
Do you hate your career? Is it really a career, or merely a job?
Do you know the difference?
In the game of poker, going "all in" refers to the moment when a player—whether out of bravado, recklessness, or desperation—bets all of his or her chips on a single hand.
Knowing that, when was the last time you went all in?
And when is the next time you should go all in?
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Failure is defined as a lack of success or the inability to meet an expectation. Maybe it's one you set for yourself, or one that someone else set for you.
The problem is that we can read too much into failure. Too often, we tie it to our sense of self-worth, self-esteem, and self-acceptance.
In today's episode, we talk about why failure isn't final, how to fail forward, and how - just because you failed - doesn't mean you're a useless human people (stop telling yourself that story, my friend).
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**There’s a story of a Zen master who was out for a walk, when he corner by a tiger on the edge of the cliff. He slowly started backing away, until he got to the edge, slid down, and ended up holding on to a thin vine on the edge.
As luck should have it, a mouse started gnawing on the vine - assuring his death. While hanging on the precipice, he noticed amazing, luscious, wild strawberries growing from a bush. He popped the berry in his mouth, and was heard to say, ‘this lovely strawberry. How sweet it tastes.’ Is he insane? Maybe. But was he PRESENT, f*** yeah.
Because he knew the outcome either way. No point getting anxious about the past or future**
In this episode, I teach you how to slowly release the stranglehold anxiety has on you using various emotional and physical techinques.
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I first heard about the principle of auto suggestion comes through the legendary Napolean Hill. It is a form of self-induced suggestion in which individuals guide their own thoughts, feelings, or behavior. The technique is often used in self-hypnosis.
Hill explains that our subconscious mind can be put to work for us as whatever we continuously auto-suggest, our mind will eventually be taking for a fact. You might be familiar with it through the Law of Attraction.
In today's episode, we go over what it is, why we need it, and how to use it in your every day life!
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You can see fear as a monster, or you can see fear as a monster that you can slay!
10 ways to fight your fears
- Take time out. It's impossible to think clearly when you're flooded with fear or anxiety. ...
- Breathe through panic. ...
- Face your fears. ...
- Imagine the worst. ...
- Look at the evidence. ...
- Don't try to be perfect. ...
- Visualise a happy place. ...
- Talk about it.
In this episode, we thoroughly go over 6 more strategies for how to overcome your fear from the inside out - both logically / rationally, and emotionally.
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You're probably awesome.
There's no doubt in my mind you're doing well.
BUT...
Could you be doing better? How do you get from good to great? Or even great to OPTIMAL? Today's episode is going to help you reach your potential by elevating your game.
To elevate our game, we must learn not to allow our more reactive, frustrated, fearful or impatient emotions to get in our way. We must use our faith to bring us patience, along with employing positive self-talk, and training ourselves to remain flexible and open to whatever results come.
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Producing a bigger check
Looking back on the last 12 months, think of the five biggest successes you’ve had. You can do this no matter what business you’re in. The five successes could be paychecks, some other kind of transactions, or total sales in 24-hour periods.
Now, figure out the average of these five biggest successes. The result is what we call “The Largest Check.” It represents not only the money your company can currently bring in, but also your current level of capability and confidence.
This is a very important number. It represents what you can do at this moment in time.
Again, not just in your business, but in your life; with your relationships, your body, or anything you're going after right now! You’ve grown, and all of the checks you get should reflect that. If you keep accepting smaller checks, you’re keeping yourself from growing.
Once you find out with a simple figure how well you’re doing, it makes it easier to determine what level you want to grow to. Getting there involves respecting your own value, communicating the goal with your team, and keeping your focus on the number you want to see.
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The meaning of PEACE OF MIND is a feeling of being safe or protected.
How can we create a powerful, impenetrable bubble around ourselves to protect our mental health?
What action steps can we take to go from anxious to calm? From nervous to chill?
And most importantly, what strategies can we use to maintain it!
In this episode, we dive into what peace of mind means, how to achieve it, and how to keep it once you get it.
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Let's identify the pattern of success found in those people who've made radical, permanent improvements in their physiques – the phoenixes of the bodybuilding and fitness world. What is the impetus of major physical metamorphosis? How does it become a lifestyle instead of just another yo-yo diet and stalled-out training program? How do you spot the catalyst that begins the process, use it, and perhaps even create it?
Those who make jaw-dropping physical changes usually follow the same basic path. Their achievement leaves a trail, and you can follow it... if you dare. You see, with all great successes comes a dark side.
RISE OF THE PHOENIX
Phoenix Theory involves four key stages:
- A traumatic event leading to a sudden realization and awakening
- Anger and a firm decision to change
- The physical transformation itself
- Continued progress fueled by fear of regression
In this episode, we break it down.
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Yes, I’m talking about the 1989 movie, Road House, starring the late, great Patrick Swayze as Dalton, a bouncer cooler at The Double Deuce in small-town Missouri. The cult classic debuted in New York and Los Angeles on May 19, 1989.
Dalton’s words are as true now as they were in 1989.
Keep in mind, Dalton had a philosophy degree from N.Y.U. Man’s search for faith—that sort of sh*t.
- Never Underestimate Your Opponent / Expect the Unexpected
- Take It Outside
- Be Nice
We go into Rule #3 on today's episode!
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Yes, I’m talking about the 1989 movie, Road House, starring the late, great Patrick Swayze as Dalton, a bouncer cooler at The Double Deuce in small-town Missouri. The cult classic debuted in New York and Los Angeles on May 19, 1989.
Dalton’s words are as true now as they were in 1989.
Keep in mind, Dalton had a philosophy degree from N.Y.U. Man’s search for faith—that sort of sh*t.
- Never Underestimate Your Opponent / Expect the Unexpected
- Take It Outside
- Be Nice
We go into Rule #2 on today's episode!
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Yes, I’m talking about the 1989 movie, Road House, starring the late, great Patrick Swayze as Dalton, a bouncer cooler at The Double Deuce in small-town Missouri. The cult classic debuted in New York and Los Angeles on May 19, 1989.
Dalton’s words are as true now as they were in 1989.
Keep in mind, Dalton had a philosophy degree from N.Y.U. Man’s search for faith—that sort of sh*t.
- Never Underestimate Your Opponent / Expect the Unexpected
- Take It Outside
- Be Nice
We go into Rule #1 on today's episode!
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What is vulnerability according to Brené Brown?
“The definition of vulnerability is uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.
But vulnerability is not weakness; it's our most accurate measure of courage.
When the barrier is our belief about vulnerability, the question becomes: 'Are we willing to show up and be seen when we can't control the outcome?'
When the barrier to vulnerability is about safety, the question becomes: 'Are we willing to create courageous spaces so we can be fully seen?”
-- Brené Brown, Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone
In this episode, we talk more about what vulnerability is and isn't, but also how you can learn to expose yourself, little by little, in order to live a life you've dreamed of.
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All the wealthiest, happiest, and most successful people you know (and the ones you don't, too!) use this one tool to reach their goals:
Visualization
If you can't picture the destination, you can't get there. If I say the word "plane" to you, you can picture it, right? You have a vision in your head of an airplane. You're transported inside one, or to an airport, or on a tarmac.
Your Reticular activating system works the same way. You picture where you'd like to be, who you'd like to be, what you'd like to have, who you'd like to be with... you can manifest all that. It's not woo-woo. It's actual science. This episode explains how to use visualization to get what you want, and how to use journaling to remove that which you don't.
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How we govern our lives is determined by three things:
1) The beliefs we have about ourselves
2) The standards we hold ourselves
3) The action steps we take to make 1 + 2 a reality
In this episode, we dive into how to establish those beliefs in the first place, and the different categories of standards we could have for ourselves.
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One of the first terms you’ll notice when getting to Costa Rica is “pura vida.” These two words pretty much sum up everything that makes this Central American paradise so amazing. They literally mean “pure life,” but they have to do more with a type of living than a simple saying.
- Focus on what’s important in life: Family, friends, gorgeous vistas and tasty food are all worth more than electronic gadgets. Living the good life is more about who you spend it with than how much you have.
- Don’t sweat the small stuff: Irritating things happen to everyone sometimes, like a rainstorm when you just washed your car or a mistake at work. However, a Costa Rican would say “pura vida” to all of it. After all, if you’ve got your health, your family and a beautiful country, does it really matter if someone else shows up late?
- Stop and smell the volcanic-soil-cultivated coffee beans: Don’t forget to take some time to enjoy life’s simple pleasures.
- Always take time to relax: You’re important too. Taking care of your kids and your family is a good thing, but you also deserve a spa visit and professional massage from time to time. Setting aside time to relax isn’t a luxury — or at least it shouldn’t be.
- Don’t be in such a hurry: “Pura vida” also means to slow down a little. It’s not about showing up late to places; it’s about not looking at the clock in the first place.
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In business, and in life, when you get right down to it everything is "figureoutable". If you want to go after or achieve something great, there's always a way to get there and you can figure out the path.
This one simple belief — that anything and everything can ultimately be figured out — can be a game-changer for your life and your career. It suggests that circumstances and results are never fixed but can be molded and modified at will. This mindset signals change is possible and even inevitable if you change the way you think and act. That's a very powerful belief to have.
This episode teaches you how to do just that!
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Your philosophy is a system of beliefs that influences someone's decisions and behaviour. Think of it as your personal mission statement of core value.
Your approach is a a belief or attitude that someone uses for dealing with life in general.
And Methodology is the methods and principles used for doing a particular kind of work.
Without having guiding principles or core values, it's hard to know what choices to make in difficult situations. It's important that we stick to our mission statement and remember it always, because how you do one think is how you do everything!
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Self-validation is the feeling of having recognized, confirmed, or established one's own worthiness or legitimacy.
In a world of social media likes, fomo, gossip, and just life in general, how can we learn NOT to rely on others for validation? How can we not wait for others to tell us we're worthy in order to feel it for ourselves?
Today's episode teaches you how to be your own cheerleader and best friend in only 6 steps!
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Stacy "Bama" Burr began powerlifting in the fall of 2014 and never looked back. Stacy is currently the All-Time World Record holder in the 148 class across the board in both sleeves and wraps. Her 1435-pound total at 148 gave her an astounding 668 Wilks, which ranks her as the number one powerlifter in the world.
In November 2022, she placed 3rd at NPC Nationals in Women's Physique. There's nothing this athlete can't do. On today's episode, we talk about confidence, compliance, competency, and mental health!
She also is the Head coach at @bamabricksquadtraining.
Her own Podcast can be found @thechampionmindset
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Seven Steps to Success
There is a powerful seven-step formula that you can use to set and achieve your goals for the rest of your life. Every single successful person uses this formula or some variation of this formula to achieve vastly more than the average person. And so can you. Here it is:
Decide What You Want
Step number one, decide exactly what it is you want in each part of your life. Become a “meaningful specific” rather than a “wandering generality.”
Write it Down
Second, write it down, clearly and in detail. Always think on paper. A goal that is not in writing is not a goal at all. It is merely a wish and it has no energy behind it.
Set a Deadline
Third, set a deadline for your goal. A deadline acts as a “forcing system” in your subconscious mind. It motivates you to do the things necessary to make your goal come true. If it is a big enough goal, set sub-deadlines as well. Don’t leave this to chance.
Make a List
Fourth, make a list of everything that you can think of that you are going to have to do to achieve your goal. When you think of new tasks and activities, write them on your list until your list is complete.
Organize Your List
Fifth, organize your list into a successful plan. Decide what you will have to do first and what you will have to do second. Decide what is more important and what is less important. And then write out your plan on paper, the same way you would develop a blueprint to build your dream house.
Take Action
The sixth step is for you to take action on your plan. Do something. Do anything. But get busy. Get going.
Do Something Every Day
Do something every single day that moves you in the direction of your most important goal at the moment. Develop the discipline of doing something 365 days each year that is moving you forward. You will be absolutely astonished at how much you accomplish when you utilize this formula in your life every single day.
Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do to put these ideas into action immediately.
First, decide exactly what you want, write it down with a deadline, make a plan and take action – on at least one goal – today!
Second, determine the price you will have to pay to achieve this goal and then get busy paying that price – whatever it is.
Where to find Brian Tracy's Success Principles info: https://blog.makesbridge.com/7-secrets-of-success-by-brian-tracy/ and https://www.briantracy.com/blog/personal-success/seven-steps-to-success/
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According to mentalhealthfirstaid.org, "Studies have shown that practicing breathing exercises and mindfulness can lead to better mental health and positive emotions, and alleviate stress and depression. Breathing exercises also allow you to think more clearly and reduce feelings of anxiety."
With breathwork, you can practice breathing techniques that help you connect with your inner self — your thoughts and feelings.
Hayden Tricker is a reiki and breathwork practitioner, in addition to being a social media influencer. On today's episode (part 1 of 2) we talk about how why breathwork is helpful for mental health.
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According to mentalhealthfirstaid.org, "Studies have shown that practicing breathing exercises and mindfulness can lead to better mental health and positive emotions, and alleviate stress and depression. Breathing exercises also allow you to think more clearly and reduce feelings of anxiety."
With breathwork, you can practice breathing techniques that help you connect with your inner self — your thoughts and feelings.
Hayden Tricker is a reiki and breathwork practitioner, in addition to being a social media influencer. On today's episode (part 1 of 2) we talk about how Hayden discovered breathwork, and why he finds it useful for others.
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Journaling is a simple yet effective way to improve your mental health. It allows you to express your thoughts and feelings in a safe and private space, which can be cathartic and help you process difficult emotions.
Journaling can also help you gain clarity and perspective on your problems. By writing down your thoughts, you can better understand and analyze your experiences and emotions. This can lead to increased self-awareness and the ability to make more informed decisions.
In addition, journaling can be a useful tool for stress management. By regularly taking the time to reflect on your thoughts and feelings, you can better identify and address the sources of stress in your life.
Overall, journaling is a simple and effective way to improve your mental health. It allows you to process and make sense of your emotions, gain perspective on your problems, and manage stress. So why not give it a try and see the benefits for yourself?
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Self-sabotage is the act of unconsciously undermining your own goals or success. It can manifest in various ways, such as procrastination, self-doubt, or making poor decisions that negatively impact your well-being.
So why do people self-sabotage? There are several possible reasons.
One reason is fear of failure or success. Some people may have a deep-seated belief that they are not capable of achieving their goals or that they don't deserve success. As a result, they may sabotage their own efforts to avoid the potential disappointment of failing or the uncertainty of change that success can bring.
Another reason is low self-esteem or self-worth. People who have a negative view of themselves may not believe they are worthy of achieving their goals or may feel undeserving of happiness and success. This can lead them to self-sabotage as a way to protect themselves from the potential rejection or criticism of others.
Self-sabotage can also be a coping mechanism for dealing with stress or difficult emotions. When faced with challenges, some people may turn to unhealthy behaviors as a way to cope, even if those behaviors ultimately harm them.
If you find yourself self-sabotaging, it's important to try to identify the underlying reasons and work towards addressing them. This may involve seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional and working on building self-esteem and self-worth. Remember, you are capable and deserving of achieving your goals and leading a fulfilling life.
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Anxiety is a common and normal emotion, but when it becomes chronic and affects your daily life, it can be detrimental to your mental health. If you're looking for ways to heal your anxiety naturally, there are several strategies you can try.
First, try to identify the triggers of your anxiety. These can be external events or internal thoughts and beliefs. Once you know what triggers your anxiety, you can take steps to manage or avoid those triggers.
Next, focus on taking care of your physical health. This means getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and exercising regularly. Exercise has been shown to be particularly effective at reducing anxiety and improving mood.
You can also try relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or meditation to calm your mind and body. These techniques can help you manage stress and anxiety in the moment, and can also have long-term benefits for your overall well-being.
In addition, try to practice gratitude and positive thinking. Focusing on the things you're grateful for can help shift your perspective and reduce negative thinking patterns that contribute to anxiety.
Finally, consider seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional. Sometimes, it can be helpful to talk to someone about your anxiety and get guidance and support on how to manage it.
In conclusion, there are many natural ways to heal anxiety. By identifying triggers, taking care of your physical health, practicing relaxation techniques, focusing on gratitude, and seeking support, you can take steps towards managing your anxiety and improving your mental health.
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Journaling is a simple, yet powerful activity that can have a big impact on your well-being. It's a way to process your thoughts and emotions, and can help you make sense of your experiences and feelings. By putting your thoughts on paper, you're able to clarify your thinking and gain a greater understanding of yourself and your life.
One of the main benefits of journaling is that it can help reduce stress and anxiety. When we're feeling overwhelmed, it's easy to get stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts and feelings. Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you release them and make space for more positive ones. It can also help you identify patterns in your thinking and behavior that may be contributing to your stress and anxiety, so that you can work on making changes to improve your mental health.
Journaling can also be a great tool for boosting self-awareness and self-esteem. By reflecting on your experiences and feelings, you can gain a greater understanding of your strengths and areas for growth. This can help you become more self-compassionate and build confidence in yourself.
Overall, journaling is a simple, yet effective way to improve your mental health. It can help you process your thoughts and emotions, reduce stress and anxiety, and boost self-awareness and self-esteem. So if you're looking to improve your well-being, consider giving journaling a try!
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In this episode of Monday Morning Mindset shift, I pull audio from an Instagram Live I did with Jaime Messina, Mindset & Empowerment Coach.
In part 3 , we talked about what to do if you and your partner are struggling with your mental health at the same time, why physical activity is IMPERATIVE if you're struggling with your mental health, and why you need a power pose.
In this final installment, we talk about what to do (and how to retrain the brain) of someone who is SUPER resistant (or fearful) about change. And how the brain gets in the way of our growth by protecting us.
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In this episode of Monday Morning Mindset shift, I pull audio from an Instagram Live I did with Jaime Messina, Mindset & Empowerment Coach.
In part 2 , we discuss the Keto diet, using a "coach" in lieu of a doctor or therapist, and our stance on "healing" VS. treating.
In this episode, we're talking about what to do if you and your partner are struggling with your mental health at the same time, why physical activity is IMPERATIVE if you're struggling with your mental health, and why you need a power pose.
Part 4 is coming in next week.
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In this episode of Monday Morning Mindset shift, I pull audio from an Instagram Live I did with Jaime Messina, Mindset & Empowerment Coach.
In part 1, we discussed seasonal effective disorder and THC use.
In this episode, we discuss the Keto diet, using a "coach" in liue of a doctor or therapist, and our stance on "healing" VS. treating.
Part 3, and 4 are coming in subsequent weeks.
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In this episode of Monday Morning Mindset shift, I pull audio from an Instagram Live I did with Jaime Messina, Mindset & Empowerment Coach.
In part 1, we discuss why we feel like there's a grey cloud over the LGBTQ community right now (seasonal affective disorder), and what to do about it. We also answer someone's question about whether we're in favor of THC use or not, and under what circumstances.
Part 2, 3, and 4 are coming in subsequent weeks.
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This talk is based on the 6 steps to reframe your mindset in order to remove your bad habits / patterns, and keep only the good ones!
- Identify the pattern of behavior (X) that is to be changed
Identify the pattern (X) you want to change: I want to stop X, but I can’t. I want to do Y, but something holds me back. 2. Establishing communication with the responsible part
Establish communication with the part responsible for the pattern. Will the part of me that leads me to do X communicate with me in my consciousness? Pay attention to everything - feelings / images, smells / sounds - what happens internally in response to this question? Establish the "yes / no" meaning of the signal. Increase clarity, volume or intensity for yes and decrease for no. 3. Separating behavior from positive intent
Separate the behavior, the pattern X, from the positive intent of the part responsible for X. The unwanted behavior is just one way to achieve a certain positive function. Ask the X-part: Would you be willing to let me know what you are trying to do for me with pattern X? If you receive a yes answer, ask the part of his intention. If you get a no-answer, continue with unconscious reframing, with the presupposition of a positive intention. Is this intention acceptable to the conscious self? Would you like to have a part that performs this function? Ask the X part: if there were ways to perform your positive function as well or better than using X, would you be interested in trying it out? 4. Create new behaviors using the creative part
Find access to a creative part and create new behaviors to perform the positive function. Make yourself accessible to experiences of creativity and anchor these or ask: am I aware of having a creative part? Let the part responsible for X communicate its positive function to the creative part, allow the creative part to invent further possibilities for the performance of this function, and let the part that was responsible for X choose three of them that are at least as good as X or better. Let it send a yes signal every time it selects such an alternative. 5. Taking responsibility and establish a bridge to the future
Question the part: Are you ready to take responsibility for using the three new alternatives in the appropriate context? This also creates a bridge to the future (future pacing). In addition, at the subconscious level, you can ask the part to identify the sensory cues that trigger the new choices to fully experience how it feels when these sensory cues effortlessly and automatically bring about one of the new choices. 6. Ecological Check
Does any of my parts have anything against the three new alternatives?
If the reaction is “yes”, go back to step 2.
I try to help you deconstruct all your habits!
Source material: https://www.landsiedel.com/en/nlp-library/six-step-reframing.html
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This talk is based on Kim Scott's RADICAL CANDOR book, all about how to deliver and receive feedback. I want to help explain that not all feedback is criticism, so we can't take it personally. Most people have great intentions when delivering feedback, they just don't necessarily know HOW to do it in a sensitive yet effective way.
I try to help you deconstruct how to give / receive feedback!
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I am guilty of it myself; comparing myself to others.
What I look like.
My follower numbers.
Where I'm at in my career.
The categories are endless.
But the questions that arise are:
1) Why do we do it in the first place?
2) What can we do about it?
3) Is there a usefulness to actually comparing ourselves to others? Does it ever HELP rather than HARM?
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Borrowed this concept from Mr. Atomic Habits, James Clear himself. He dedicates a chapter in his book to how to develop and understand the 4 hormones related to happiness: Endorphins, Dopamine, Seratonin, and Oxytocin.
This episode dives into the evolution behind each one, and how to cultivate more EDSO in your life for free!
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It's easier to whole ass something, than it is to half-ass it.
Seriously.
Both mentally and physically, going ALL IN is better in general than only doing something part of the way.
In this episode, we dive into the why of the strategy, and how to go about doing it!
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As someone who has built a business (and a marriage!) thanks to Instagram / social media, I am grateful for it, grateful to it, and know it has a place it in my life.
I also know that it has almost ruined my mental health stability by sending me on a downward spiral on more than one occasion. Thankfully, I teach people every day who to build themselves up, so I got lucky, but that doesn't mean FOMO never affects me. I came to some pretty heavy realizations after a work event in Nashville, and I wanted to share my insights with my listeners who may be dealing with their OWN social media anxiety issues.
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Before you listen to this podcast, watch this youtube video called the "selection attention test."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJG698U2Mvo
The original, world-famous awareness test from Daniel Simons and Christopher Chabris. Check out our book and website for more information (www.theinvisiblegorilla.com). It's all about picking and choosing what you focus on, and how selective attention / ego can sometimes help but often harm it. It gets in the way of focusing on what really matters, but also that we can miss some of the most OBVIOUS (and important!) things if our minds aren't in the right place.
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“Your beliefs become your thoughts,Your thoughts become your words,Your words become your actions,Your actions become your habits,Your habits become your values,Your values become your destiny.”
― Gandhi
I truly believe that. In this episode, I try to show you how you can CHANGE your limiting beliefs by swapping them out with empowering ones.
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Fear on a practical level is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. A "belief" is an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists.
You are fearful because you believe XYZ. Not because fear actually exists...
So what can we do about fear:
4) Stop Beating yourself up - If you call yourself names, or put yourself down consistently, you will just avoid more. Because in doing anything, you risk doing something wrong. This behavior is sure to rob you of confidence. The problem is that sometimes you secretly believe that you are absolutely right to beat yourself up this way. You believe that beating yourself up is an effective strategy to get you going. Wrong. It just demoralizes you.
5) Find an encouraging voice - Develop the knowledge and skills that make your dreams come true.
6) Tackle the monster all at once - Acknowledge the fears, and stay present. What ever has us afraid hasn’t actually happened yet. Here and now, we are safe. Past and future are in the mind only. Become aware that we are dreaming ALL the time. We are 99% always somewhere else. If you have the awareness that everything that’s happening to you is the results of what you’re believing and thinking about, then you can begin to change it.
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Fear on a practical level is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. A "belief" is an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists.
You are fearful because you believe XYZ. Not because fear actually exists...
So what can we do about fear:
1) Tackle it one head at a time. Fear is a monster with a million heads. So what can we do? Tackle each head individual.
2) Starve it - Lock the monster away in the dungeon. Or in the tower. Gain control of your emotions. Avoid fueling the emotions that come from fear. When a thought comes in about the past or future, and you start to get that anxiety, push it out. It has no right to be there. Legitimately push it out.
3) Don't feed it - Every time we you tell ourselves we are not strong enough, not smart enough, not good enough… we feed the fear, and as a result, don’t have the confidence to go for your dream. Our own voices have a very good strategy to keep us down. It stops us from gaining the skill, the knowledge and exercising our talents to make dreams come true. So stop telling yourself what you're telling yourself.
Stay tuned for part 2 coming next week!
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How to increase your largest check:
1) The individuals who are the best think differently and who received the largest checks are the ones who are continually linking themselves up with other unique ability friends, coworkers, mentors, podcasts, books, etc.
2) The best that keep getting better have found a way to escape complexity and problems. They have moved into a results-based mindset where there are always new chances and opportunities. They never getting stuck on the problem. they WANT, and then figure out the action steps and smaller goals that will get them there. Katie has a saying that I’ve adopted with my clients; “you’re coming up with problems to all my solutions.” Don’t be that guy
3) You truly have to understand what it takes to make the mindset breakthrough. - from an emotional and mental perspective, they establish freedom from stigmas and stereotypes - freedom from mediocrity - freedom from scarcity (Rather too many opportunities to choose from). There is a general shift toward a more abundant mindset. And not just financial abundance, but an abundance of friendships that serve you, an abundance of job opportunities, etc.
4) They act as if you’re already worth that amount on your largest check. As if you already have the friends that are going to level you up. As if you have the mind carefree solution-oriented positive mindset. Act as if you know that your life is a reflection of what you believe is possible for yourself.
Resource for Dan Sullivan's business coaching: https://resources.strategiccoach.com/the-multiplier-mindset-blog/how-entrepreneurs-can-increase-their-revenue-every-year
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Credit to Dan Sullivan for the concept in his book, "How the Best Get Better."
He talked about how entrepreneurs can increase their revenue every year. First, they have to take stock of how much they made in the last 12 months. The issue is, people are told to believe they're only as good (or only worth) as much as they are paid. So they end up keeping themselves at that level.
Until someone (like this podcast!) busts through the door and tells you that things could be bigger and better for you! Not just your checks, but your relationships, romantic and friendship. There's more out there for you. If you think you're worth more, if you think your friends are holding you back, if you believe your partner isn't giving you as much energy or attention as you deserve, you have the right to ask for it!
Resource for Dan Sullivan's business coaching: https://resources.strategiccoach.com/the-multiplier-mindset-blog/how-entrepreneurs-can-increase-their-revenue-every-year
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We like to think of the world in terms of black and white; happy is good, sad is bad.
Where did this idea come from? “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so” is a quote from William Shakespeare's tragedy, Hamlet.
In a similar vein, according to entrepreneur Alex Hermozi, "What we have is a line of normal human existence, and points that occur above the line and below the line." Being SAD isn't bad; it's a point below baseline. It's part of our existence. It's necessary. Without darkness, there can't be light.
We need to start reshaping and reshifting our paradigms around labels.
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With a bit of practice the dopamine-inducing task can grow bigger, but the tasks should be small enough so they can be completed in one go. In time, the larger and harder the task is, the bigger the dopamine rush at the end.
Regardless, it's all about the effort. The more effort that precedes the win the greater the effect on both testosterone and dopamine and as a consequence, the ability to lean into further effort. So you don't "get motivated" - you get to CREATE your own motivation!!!
Remember: The major effect of testosterone and dopamine on the brain is to make effort feel good. That is why even subtle increases in testosterone can be beneficial.
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Sources: https://www.instagram.com/hubermanlab/
Link to the original video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRFlydR-gm8
I hear people with anxiety tell me all the time, “I just don’t have the bandwidth.” Implying they don’t have the energy, or the time.
But where did this LACK come from? How do we already start the day ‘behind’?
If this sounds like you, pause. Breathe. Take a second. As you’re breathing, focus on the here and now. Stop focusing on the tasks of the week, and getting everything done all on one day. You have the bandwidth. Focus on the NEW day put in front of you, and the new capacity you were given by started the day fresh.
If you operate from a “new day, new me” perspective, you’ll be able to put more intention and focus into each activity of your life. You have to appreciate that and actually SEE / feel that. And when you focus on the present moment, you’ll see that your capacity will open up, and you’ll be able to tackle everything at 100%. You have the bandwidth. By the end of the day, the week, and the month, you’ll see how much you were able to accomplish. But as long as you’re operating from a place of scarcity, it’ll be hard to see the forest for the trees.
To summarize, the things one day at a time. Make a list. Get it out on paper. The list is just a series of things in rotation that stay there until they get done. So if it doesn’t happen today, we can do them another day. You have the bandwidth
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Phones aren’t just detracting us from the present; they have a much more profound effect on our happiness.
When we’re on our phones and not being in the moment, or when we’re multi-tasking work and talking to a friend, we’re half-assing both things. This affects our future. How ? If you never help your kid with their homework, or never know what they're working on in school, can you be AS proud at their graduation? Can you understand the end result as empathically?
If you walk into a movie 20 late, only receiving part of the plot, can you truly APPRECIATE the outcome of the story at the end? If there are holes in our present because we’re on our phones, then the future won’t be as impactful because we will have missed integral parts.
To summarize, not only do our phones take us away from the present, but as a function of that, they detract from our future.
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I wanted to give you guys something a little different this week.
Instead of going solo and bringing you a 3-5min mindset shift, I wanted to put up a really useful podcast I did with my friend Amber Sobrio-Ritter, who runs the Divergent Fitness podcast and instagram site.
ENJOY!
"In this episode, Jaime Filer talks about how her work in the gym translated into every area of her life and how she developed a systematic system for helping other queers do the same."
Amber's podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-divergent-fitness-podcast/id1589994005
Amber's IG: https://z-p3.www.instagram.com/divergentfitnessca/
We use social media, likes and comments, compliments from others, our parents telling us they’re proud of us… We actively go out and search for honest understanding. Acknowledgement. Feelings. That’s the how. The WHY is because it’s human nature. As we’ve spoken about 100 times, one of the most essential human needs is to feel significant, and the way we do this is through validation.
But validating your OWN thoughts and emotions will help you manage yourself more effectively. Because social media won’t always be there for you. It helps you find wisdom. It helps you become more self aware. If you accept that you are feeling… jealousy, for example, and you understand the reason behind it, then you can learn from your own experience. You can validate your own feelings, and move on - and up. Being present validates that YOU and your feelings matter. Feel the physical sensations.
4) Remember the past - You’ll often have thoughts and feelings based on events that happened in the past. Maybe you hate when your friends argue because it reminds you of when your parents did that and used to pit you against one of them. But go back to number 2, the honest reflection, and say to yourself, “I understand that I am afraid of arguments because when i was younger, my parents hurt each other during conflict.” They’re not related. Validate the feeling by remembering where it came from, and understand that it’s not the same
5) Normalize your feelings - Of course it would make sense that I feel sad - I got turned down for a job. It’s normal to feel painful emotions. No one is happy all the time. Sadness and pain is commonly felt by other people. You’re normal.
6) Be Genuine - Don’t lie to yourself. Don’t tell yourself it’s ok when it’s not. Don’t pretend to be someone you aren’t. Changing some behaviours that are invalid and not congruent with you will alleviate some of the suffering you experience. But you have to practice. Practice practice practice al of these steps to help you self validate more naturally.
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We use social media, likes and comments, compliments from others, our parents telling us they’re proud of us… We actively go out and search for honest understanding. Acknowledgement. Feelings. That’s the how. The WHY is because it’s human nature. As we’ve spoken about 100 times, one of the most essential human needs is to feel significant, and the way we do this is through validation.
But validating your OWN thoughts and emotions will help you manage yourself more effectively. Because social media won’t always be there for you. It helps you find wisdom. It helps you become more self aware. If you accept that you are feeling… jealousy, for example, and you understand the reason behind it, then you can learn from your own experience. You can validate your own feelings, and move on - and up. Being present validates that YOU and your feelings matter. Feel the physical sensations.
1) Mindfulness - Not mindfulness as in meditation or just… yoga practice, but mindfulness as in being here and now. Being mindful of your emotions without pushing them away. Being present. Listening to yourself, even if the sadness, hurt, or fear is challenging. Avoiding emotions can result in negative consequences.
2) Honest Reflection - Label the feelings accurately. Stick to the facts once you observe and describe your experiences. Exactly what emotion are you feeling? What triggered that thought? What action to you want to take. “I am a loser and nobody wants to spend time with me” is not a fact. That’s your take on it. “I feel angry and disappointed that sandy cancelled our lunch date. I feel tightness in my chest, and a little fear as well” are observable facts.
3) If you’re like me, someone you don’t know what emotion you’re feeling… the best you can do is look at an emoji chart online, and point to the face. Or ask yourelf what someone else would be feeling if they were in your position. You can also guess your emotion based on the action you want to take. If sandy cancels lunch, and you want to send her a text with a lot of 4 letter words, then changes are, you’re feeling hurt and anger.
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The 4 Keys to getting everything you want
It’s bold. I know. And maybe even a little click-baity, lol. But here’s the thing, at the core of human nature, we all want to be happy. And sometimes, often, we have no frickin idea how to get there or even sometimes what it looks like. For some, happiness could be finding a partner. For some, it could be finding a rewarding career, or a purpose or calling. For others, it could be tons of wealth in order to buy things that make them happy. No judgement.
Either way, regardless of what you want, you will need SOME combination of these 4 things to get them.
This is the natural progression. You start with getting a little energy or creatine an atomic habit, which helps create momentum. Now i hesitate to use the word motivated, because you guys know I hate it, but the truth is, you do get motivated when you start taking action. Which then leads you to go out and do MORE things, often times in a competent way, which builds confidence. And the more confidence you have, the more competence you’ve built, the more enthusiastic you’ve become. And … With that enthusiasm, you can go out and conquer the world.
So how do we tackle each of these areas in order to maximize them to get you to your end goal?Come hang in my Facebook group: facebook.com/groups/teamjaim91
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The only thing MORE important than what goals you're setting is HOW you're setting them. In this 3 part series on goal setting, we go over how to set realistic goals, and how to subsequently execute on the RIGHT ones. I was taught this by my business coach, friend, and mentor Mathew Park, and now I want to pass his wisdom on to you.
7) Negativity Check - Goals can be negative if they are too big. If a goal is out of reach, that’s one thing. But if it’s out of sight, that’s something else. The difference between me having half a million followers on IG or actually being as big as Tony Robbins.
8) Ask 5 questions - Of the goals that remain, ask yourself the following 5 questions:
Is this really my goal?
Is this goal morally right and fair to everyone concerned?
Will this goal take me closer to or further from my major objective?
Can I emotionally commit myself to start and finish this project?
Can I see myself reach this goal?
9) Choose your top goal - Work your list down to just 4 goals of what you want to do, be, and have. Take inventory of where you are right now. Write down the goal + the date.
What are the benefits of reaching the goal?
What are the obstacles and mountains you have to overcome to reach it?
What other skills and knowledge are required to reach the goal?
Who are the individuals, groups, companies, and organizations needed to work with to reach the goal?
What is the plan of action to reach the goal (nitty gritty)
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The only thing MORE important than what goals you're setting is HOW you're setting them. In this 3 part series on goal setting, we go over how to set realistic goals, and how to subsequently execute on the RIGHT ones. I was taught this by my business coach, friend, and mentor Mathew Park, and now I want to pass his wisdom on to you.
4) Do a balance assessment - When you out too much emphasis on just one or two areas in your life, you can become warped. As you review your list, determine if it relates to one of the 8 areas in your life: physical, emotional, spiritual, relationships, financial, business, family, and adventure.
5) Explore your reasons - Will reaching this goal make me happier?
Will reaching this goal make me healthier?
Will reaching this goal make me more prosperous?
Will reaching this goal make me more secure?
Will reaching this goal make me more friends?
Will reaching this goal give me peace of mind?
Will reaching this goal improve my family relationships?
6) Stretch process - Long range goals get an L. Short term goals get an S. So… a trip in the future, a house, making your first million dollars, etc. Those won’t happen tomorrow. They require a process. Or ongoing/short-term goals: Health, Business, Spiritual, Relationship, Financial (just making money a little every day). Evaluate whether your goals are short or long term.
Next week we'll go over steps 7 through 9
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The only thing MORE important than what goals you're setting is HOW you're setting them. In this 3 part series on goal setting, we go over how to set realistic goals, and how to subsequently execute on the RIGHT ones. I was taught this by my business coach, friend, and mentor Mathew Park, and now I want to pass his wisdom on to you.
1) Create your wish list -Write down everything you want to be, do, have. No distractions. No phone. No computer. Just pen and paper. Take an hour.
2) Ask yourself WHY you listed those certain goals? - Are they ‘whims’ or ‘real desires’ that you genuinely want over time? Like Katie and her murano vs porsche mcaan. Label each W or D.
3) Eliminate goals - Or table them for now, that you might want to revisit later. So no to the good so you can say YES to the best. Your brain can’t focus on 20 things.. It can do 3 or 5 really well. Make room for the 5 things that REALLY pull you emotionally. Cross out the stuff that doesn’t compel you or make you want to obsess about right now.
Next week we'll go over steps 4 through 6
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Courage consists of two parts. The first part is beginning, launching, or getting started — taking a chance in the face of failure and rejection where success is far from given. The second half of courage is persistence. Persistence is the unbreakable will to keep going and driving yourself no matter what.
In order to have persistence and to BE persistent, you must also have discipline.
Jocko Wilink says, "Freedom is what everyone wants — to be able to act and live with freedom. But the only way to get to a place of freedom is through discipline. If you want financial freedom, you have to have financial discipline. ... Discipline equals freedom applies to every aspect of life: if you want more freedom, get more discipline"
To read Brian Tracy's book about the success principles: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55453993-success-principles-of-brian-tracy
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Continuous learning is essential to becoming successful AND becoming an authority in your field. Like breathing, becoming better and better at what you do must become a natural part of your life. Most successful people spend 60-90 minutes a day studying their field.Not WORKING. Big distinction here between working IN and Studying. Warren Buffet famously reads 500 pages a day - can't argue with his success!
Commitment is about going all in. Whatever you decide you want to do, pour your whole heart into it. If you’re committed, there’s absolutely nothing in this world that can come between you and your dreams.
My friend Ryan Doris, who is a natural pro bodybuilder has a quote that went viral in 2013 and I’ll never forget it, “ Don't fake passion. One day you'll meet someone in your field who is truly passionate and you'll be f***ing embarrassed” – Passion to me, begets commitment.
The last principle will come in the next episode
To read the book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55453993-success-principles-of-brian-tracy
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Concentration is the ability to focus on one thing at a time and focus on that task until it’s complete. It’s also extremely difficult to accomplish, especially in a world filled with constant emails, distractions, and notifications.
Once you’ve determined the hardest, most valuable thing to accomplish, do that thing — no matter how unpleasant it seems. The most successful people in the world realize how critical concentration is to their success. And little of the rest of the world understands how difficult it can be. Constraints are the limiting factors that stand in the way of where you are today and how fast you’re able to get to where you want to be in the future. Instead of trying to change the world, identify a single factor and try to alleviate it. If your constraint to meeting new people is social anxiety, start with a coffee date with a couple of your close friends, then graduate to a dinner party you host, then expand from there
The next 3 principles will come in the upcoming 2 episodes!
To read the book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55453993-success-principles-of-brian-tracy
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80% of success comes from clarity — knowing who you are, what you stand for, and what you want to accomplish. Conversely, 80% of problems and business failures are due to a lack of clarity.
Key 1: Decide exactly what you want.
Key 2: Write it down.
Key 3: Set a deadline.
Key 4: Make a list.
Key 5: Organize your list.
Key 6: Take action.
Key 7: Do something every day.
You can only successful if you’re very good at what you do. But very few people are willing to put in the time and effort it takes to turn their natural-born abilities into the hard skills that translate into success.
To gain more confidence, break down your work and decide which skills you need to be in the top 10% of your field. Find out what others have done before you. And then get to work. Confidence takes hours and hours to achieve.
The next 5 principles will come in the upcoming 2 episodes!
To read the book: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55453993-success-principles-of-brian-tracy
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Today's podcast is based on ANOTHER podcast I listened to by Menno Henselmans and Dylan Guynn. I'll link it below, but in essence, they were saying:
"Self-control is a single capacity that is used for all types of tasks- that is, you use the same resource to resist eating junk food that you use to concentrate on working. At least one other study has found that inducing a positive mood via watching a comedy video or receiving a gift can counteract the effects of that depleted state (sic: when you have to exercises willpower).
Finally, one study has suggested that willpower is only a limited resource if you believe it is. This study found that students who viewed willpower as a non-limited resource procrastinated less and got better grades than students who viewed it as a limited resource."
I tried to break down what I learned in order to make it less scientific. Either way, I hope you enjoy it and get to take something away from it!
To listen to the podcast yourself, click here: https://share.transistor.fm/s/c03d0174
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Here’s how I dealt with my feelings (feel free to save / share for Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Passover, etc. )
1) Just sit - They’re not going to change. Your drunk aunt. Your homophobic step dad. Your “influencer” nephew. Your helicopter mom. These people are who they are. We can’t change them. They’re not going to change. So just sit. Daydream. Get into a state of awareness, and create a bulletproof force field around your head and heart. Be grateful you have family.
2) Remind yourself that storms are temporary - It’s the food coma. It’s the alcohol. It’s the fact that you don’t have the dream job your family wants you to. Someone is going to set someone else off … and that’s okay. We anticipate it. Movies tells us this is normal! So breathe. Remind yourself that storms aren’t forever, and occupy your mind by going elsewhere.
3) Have a plan / boundaries - Katie knows I’m 60-90min on, 10-15min off. That’s my personal boundary. I set it up in advance and she knows when I need an “Introvert Interval.” I don’t leave in the middle when things get crazy, because the last thing you want is leave in for middle of an anxiety attack. I leave at the interval I set up in advance to avoid any of that.
If any of this was helpful, e-mail me or DM me. Let me know how you’re managing your anxiety this season, and how I can help!
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Jack Canfield once said, "Successful people adhere to the “no exceptions rule” when it comes to their daily disciplines. Once you make a 100% commitment to something, there are no exceptions. It’s a done deal. Nonnegotiable. Case closed!"
If you make the 100% commitment to exercise every day for 30 minutes, no matter what, then it is settled. You just do it. It doesn’t matter if you are traveling, if you have a 7:00 A .M. job interview, if it’s raining outside, if you went to bed late last night, if your schedule is full, or if you simply don’t feel like it. You just do it anyway.
Imagine that you are only 99% committed. Each temptation can steal your energy and focus if you spend time debating whether or not you’ll succumb to the temptation. All sorts of scenarios can start running through your mind. Maybe I can make it up tomorrow. Maybe skipping a day is OK. Stop believing that. Stop wasting your time. Going 99% won't help you, and will take you months, years, maybe even decades longer!
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Going into my last week of contest prep, I saw every single workout as "only 3 more" - I have to give 100%. I literally only have 3 more chances to make this workout count. I only have 20 meals to make this count. I only have 15 cardio sessions to make it count.
Etcetera
What if we treated life as though we didn't know how many we had left.
Every meal with our family, could potentially only have 3 more.
Every presentation, could only have 1 more chance to prove ourselves.
Every date could mean only 5 more.
Make every single thing you do count.
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I was listening to an epic podcast with Joe Rogan where he talked about 3 ideas
1) Not enough of us have jobs that make us fulfilled.
2) Not enough of us have hobbies that make us happy.
3) Life is finite. We need to enjoy it while we can.
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Skilledatlife.com said it best, "Many grownups do not have a set daily routine and ‘wing’ their day. They have no idea what they are going to do when they wake up each morning because they have not thought about creating a schedule to adhere to. As a result, many people feel like they are stressed, anxious, overwhelmed and falling short of their goals and true potential.
The answer lies in carefully designing a routine that works best for each of us, one which helps us be productive, in control, and be the best person we can possibly be.
Designing and adhering to a personal daily routine is the path to freedom, productivity, happiness, and fulfilling our true potential. "
It's important for us to have a routine when it comes to our self-care and physical health/wellness, a routine when it comes to either (ideally BOTH) morning or night activities, and of course, your core values and priorities. Automate your actions to reduce the stress and anxiety of decision making, especially over the long run.
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So you’re at point A and you want to get to point B?
1) Break the big changes down into chunks as small as possible (so small you cant fail)
2) Implement the small changes a few at a time; stack your wins
3) Make it a goal not to miss twice
4) Be patient and compassionate with yourself, find a sustainable pace
5) Reflect and appreciate yourself for the work you’re doing. Notice the small stuff, celebrate the tiny victories.
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The work separates the winners from the losers in life.
Build a habit around what is is you want to accomplish.
The action itself may not actually get you where you want to go but doing the action over and over again will certainly help point you in the right direction.
For example, say you want to lose weight.; walking is great, but theres obviously more to weight loss then just doing steps. However, walking every single day, getting up early to WALK, might eventually turn into waking up every single day to go to the gym. From there, maybe you're empowered and confident enough to start cleaning up your nutrition a little. It’s about the virtue of discipline. It’s about your committing to the habit.
Then, you use the confidence from that small win to give you the ability to add other things
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You’ll become happy when you stop reacting and start controlling your emotions.
Don’t allow your emotions to control you. don’t allow your emotions to overpower your intelligence.
If you don’t control your emotions, you’ll be consumed by them. When you control your thoughts and emotions, you control everything. The people who are the most successful are the ones happiest with their lives.
Self control is strength. Calmness is mastery. You HAVE TO GET TO A POINT WHERE YOUR mood doesn’t shift based on the insignificant actions of someone else. Don’t allow others to control the direction of your life. Don’t allow your emotions to overpower your intelligence. You become a force to be reckoned with when you learn to control your feelings.
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Today’s shift is this, build your house on rock. not sand.
There’s a parable in the bible about two men; one whose house was founded on rock, and other other whose house was built on sand. When the rain and storms came, guess whose house washed away?
what this parable is implying, is that if you don’t have a solid foundation… If you don’t have a set of principles that you live by, if you don’t have core values, a solid relationship in your life (marital or not), then when even the slightest drizzle of rain comes, your house can wash away.
And that’s why so many of us our quick to get anxiety - because we don’t have our foundations laid; we don’t have a bedrock. If I asked you right now what your core values are, would you be able to name 3?
For some examples, take a look at this link. Granted, they belong to 1stPhorm, but they're SO applicable in every day life. Also think about the relationships you hold near and dear. And THOSE made of rock or sand. Evaluate them, and definitely let me know!
Time to start building your house on solid foundation, my friends.
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Today’s shift is this, how to create balance in your life. The first thing we have to do is define balance. I think many people associate the word ‘balance’ to mean that everything has to be equal, even or perfect. I know that life is rarely, if ever, any of these things!
Essentially, balance doesn’t mean things are even - it DOES mean you have a pulse on everything though.
So how do we achieve balance?
First, clean and organize your space. Start with your physical environment because if your desk is disorganized, chanced are other areas of your life are too.
Next, establish your priorities. If you don’t know how to divide different areas of your life, achieving balance in them will be significantly harder.
Third, understand that work and life will never be balanced. the best we can hope for is work life integration - but a 50/50 balance is pretty impossible.
And most importantly, understand that creating balance takes time.
Nobody is an overnight success.
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Why do I call this podcast the "mindset shift"?
I have so many clients who end up really nailing their macros and movement, but I don’t end up changing their minds… and I have a lot of clients who end up shifting their paradigms, but don’t always see the physical progress in the first few months.
And both these camps come to me and say “Am I failing, coach?” because they see what they’re MISSING rather than what they accomplished.
Failure is NOT your inability to perform or complete a task, it’s your inability to solve a problem. This takes the emotion out of it. It’s about a way of thinking that we need to redirect. You did something with your left brain, it didn’t work, we need to do something with your right brain.
In this episode, we redefine what failure really means and most importantly, how to shift your mindset around it.
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If you've ever read Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich, you'll recall that he addresses humanity's 6 basic fears.
These are things we’re scared of that we keep in our mind that prevent us from becoming successful. "fears are nothing more than states of mind," and that "one's state of mind is subject to control and direction."
In other words, you can avoid them. But, as Hill writes, "Before we can master an enemy, we must know its name, its habits, and its place of abode.”
In last week's episode of the podcast, we took a deeper dive into the Fear of Poverty, Fear of Criticism, and Fear of Ill Heath. This week, we are going to look at the Fear of Ill Health, Fear of Loss of Love, and Fear of Death. We'll define what those fears are, what they mean, and some psychological strategies to overcome them.
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If you've ever read Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich, you'll recall that he addresses humanity's 6 basic fears.
These are things we’re scared of that we keep in our mind that prevent us from becoming successful. "fears are nothing more than states of mind," and that "one's state of mind is subject to control and direction."
In other words, you can avoid them. But, as Hill writes, "Before we can master an enemy, we must know its name, its habits, and its place of abode.”
In this episode of the podcast, we take a deeper dive into the Fear of Poverty, Fear of Criticism, and Fear of Ill Heath. We'll define what those fears are, what they mean, and some psychological strategies to overcome them.
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I haven't been as present on my podcast as I'd like.
I have all the excuses / reasons / explanations in the world, but that doesn't mean it's ok.
I can't shirk my responsibilities or showing up just because some things aren't going as planned on the emotional side of things.
I want to help you guys show up by giving you 3 ways that have helped me during one of the most rough periods of my life to date. I am going to go over the 3 ways I use to keep me on track, and explain how they've served me.
1) Fake it til you make it
2) Tie your success to the success of others
3) Production pivot
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In times of uncertainty, we experience fear. And the irony is that our response to fear often perpetuates it.
It’s our resistance to facing fear that magnifies the feeling.
Fear on a practical level is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. To me, even though they use the word emotion, they’ve rooted it in logic. You are fearful because you believe XYZ.
So what are strategies we can use to slay the dragon that IS fear? How can we uproot it from an emotional and a practical perspective.
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Today’s shift is this, you have the power to speak into existence, to convince yourself, that you can have everything you want.
Step 1) You need a written statement of definite purpose, and written goals that are very specific, phrased in the positive, and measurable. "I am going to impact the lives of 10,000 women through online personal training in the next 10 years."
Step 2) When you read your purposes and goals, and when you’re imagining them things, get emotional about it. EMOTION is integral. This is why typical affirmations almost always fail. People speak their affirmations, but they’re not ENGAGING themselves. You have to get emotionally behind it. Use your body language. You’re NOT slumped over in a chair reading your goals. You can get up in the room, and pace, and strut around.
Step 3) Be very visual and very sensory in your experience. If you’re imagining your goals as if they were already true, you engage all your senses along with your imagination. This means you SEE the exact amount of money you hope to acquire. But also, picture yourself competent. You have to envision yourself performing the services to the world in exchange for you receiving this money. Start to HEAR in your mind the compliments that your friends are giving you, because you’ve lost weight. If you imagine a new corner office with a window, SMELL the leather on the chairs.
Step 4) Keep on repeating it. You keep on going back to the SAME, exact, definite goal over and over and over. Over time, you’ll get to the point where you become so engaged and obsessed with this idea, you KNOW it’s going to come true. You know it. Now, it’s just a matter of a time lag until it happens, because you already know it in your mind it’s already happening.
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Today’s shift is this, in order to build self esteem, you need the 3 C’s: Credibility, confidence, competence.
Bedrod Keulian introduced the concept, and I wanted to dive deeper. People are constantly asking, wondering, and researching how to build their confidence.
We start with the first C - credibility. You have to build credibility with yourself, and the way to do that is by keeping the promises you make to yourself. Do the things you said you were going to do.
The next C is Confidence. When you stack wins, you inherently become more proud of yourself. You get to pat yourself on the back time after time. How amazing does that feel? Confidence comes from owning your wins.
And finally, the third C is competence: the more wins you stack, the better you do things, the more competent you become, and the more skills you acquire.
Pick a promise you’re going to make and KEEP to yourself every day for the next 30 days ... and watch your confidence soar!
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Anxiety occurs when your thoughts, worries, and fears are literally everywhere but where you are right now. Your thoughts are geared towards unrealized dangers instead of savoring each moment, and make it joyful and peaceful.
Staying present is hard. Most of the time, our minds are reflecting on the past, or focusing on those unrealized dangers or threats of the future. But as HoloCaust survivor Carrie Ten Boom said, “Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its struggles, it empties today of its strength.” Don’t empty the beauty of today for the unrealized danger of tomorrow. or next year, or a decade from now.
- Remind yourself there’s no way to know for sure what’s going to happen
- Avoid getting paralyzed by unrealized danger
- Find something in the moment to seize and savor
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Today’s shift is this, stop giving your self esteem away to people who don’t matter.
I’m obsessed with a famous quote by Thomas Cooley that goes like this. “I am not who you think I am; I am not who I think I am; I am who I think you think I am ”
Self concept is an idea of the self constructed from the beliefs one holds about oneself and the responses of others.
Self-concept is an individual's knowledge of who he or she is… But we gather that knowledge from feedback and data. According to Carl Rogers, self-concept has three components: self-image, self-esteem, and the ideal self. Self-concept is active, dynamic, and malleable. It can be influenced by social situations and even one's own motivation for seeking self-knowledge.
It’s fluid. And while typically fluidity is a good thing, it’s not when it comes to your self concept. The fastest, more sure fire way to destroy your self esteem and self worth is for there to be a chasm between your ideal self (the person you want to be) and your self image (the person you see in the mirror). Every day, we let bullies, partners, parents, and social media take our power away from us. We let them create a bigger and bigger divide between who we are and who we want to be.
If you want unshakable, unbreakable, steadfast and rock solid confidence… stop identifying yourself based on other people’s perceptions. Close the gap between your self image and ideal self. Stop worrying about others.
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Today’s shift is this, when you have fewer expectations, you have fewer disappointments.
I still have expectations of people, professionally and personally, and to be honest, both still tend to let me down. But here’s my saving grace: if the behavior is repeated into a pattern, it’s on me to pay attention. I can own my reaction. I get to choose to feel empowered versus feeling like a victim.
When you lay blame, you give away power. When you take the blame, you take back your power. When someone lets you down once, the responsibility is on you to take the time to figure out if you’re going to let it happen again.
Instead of just sitting in your frustration or disappointment, channel it. Do something productive with it. Make sure the same thing doesn’t happen again. When people let you down, find a lesson in the pain.
Your heart is resilient.
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Today’s shift is this, your ‘forever’ relationship has to be a mix of 3 things.
The key to a happy marriage is that your person is a TRIFECTA of
1️⃣ Your lover. You have to be sexually attracted to them.
2️⃣ Your best friend.
3️⃣ Your wife/husband.
The physical attraction has to be there, the emotional sensitivity and understanding is a must, and you have to want to do boring ADLs (activities of daily living) with them.
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Today’s shift is this, the reason you don’t have it yet is because you don’t understand it.
See, the reason everyone (except engineers and brilliant prodigies) fails trigonometry and algebra is because we don't see a use for it when we’re older. We don’t ‘get’ why we need it or when we’re ever going to use it again. It’s hard to process the information coming at you, because you can’t picture more than 5 minutes or days into the future.
When it's initiated from an external force, change tends to arrive in the form of or be perceived as an obstacle, obligation, or if our mindset is right as an “opportunity.” But the difference between an obstacle and an opportunity is your mindset. Do you WANT to understand it? To break it down? To think of how you can use it in the future?
It’s no different than 12th grade trig. Different age, same concept. You have to make training and nutrition relevant to you. You have to understand WHY these things are important to you and how you’re going to use them to be healthier, leaner, happier, and more confident. Understand them, get motivated, and then make it happen.
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Today’s shift is this, start talking to yourself like you would talk to someone to love.
There are two implications to this saying. The first is about giving yourself patience, grace, and kindness. We are so harsh to ourselves. So quick to judge ourselves. So quick to call ourselves names we would never DARE call our parents or best friends. We berate ourselves for small, incidental errors, and more often then not, the way we punish ourselves (verbally and emotionally) very rarely fits the crime. We give ourselves lashings that would make our best friends’ heads spin. And If we ever spoke to them like that, they’d leave us. So why do WE tolerate speaking to ourselves like that? Not just tolerate, but we repeatedly do it!
Point number 2, if your best friend told you that she or he had a goal. A big hair audacious goal... something they really wanted... would you let them off the hook easy if they were sabotaging themselves? If your girl came to you, day in and day out, literally all she could talk about was how important her wedding day is to her and how badly she wants to look confident in her dress... wouldn’t you be the one waking her butt up at 5am for the gym? And slapping that serving of nachos out of her hand? Of course you would! Because that’s what best friends do. That’s what supportive friends do.
So how come you don’t talk to yourself like your best friend? How come you’re not waking yourself up at 5 or slapping the nachos out of your own hands? You want your goals, right? You want the confidence, the self esteem, the body, the self worth...
Sometimes it’s easier to support and cheer on someone else than it is to take care of yourself and make YOU the priority. But again... talk to yourself like you’d talk to her.
Want your goals as badly for yourself as you want them for your loved ones.
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Today's mindset shift is this: RAISE YOUR STANDARDS.
What standards do you hold yourself by?
And what standards do you have to work on?
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Today’s shift is this, failure is the best thing that will ever happen to you. I read in a book a few years ago that failure frees the mind for a fresh start. Failure is the dead end of the habit path; and it forces us to choose another way. It makes you test yourself to show you another way. Failure forces you to break habits.
As adults, we don’t see failure the same way we did as children. Children find a way. But adults… find a way out.
The other thing failure can teach us, and this idea I got from Wanderlust worker, is that Without failure, we'd be less capable of compassion, empathy, and kindness. If we never ever failed, how would we make ourselves into understanding partners, friends, bosses, etc.
We need failure to teach us new ways of thinking, and to remind us that we're human - and should be kinder and more patient with other humans.
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Today’s shift is this, just stop it.
Stop the behavior.
Stop the negative rhetoric.
Stop the self deprecating narrative that you tell yourself.
How many of us go through life being scared of… public embarrassment, not getting our dream job, never meeting our soul mate, taking chances on something or someone? But we don’t actually want to go through life like this, right? That sounds frightening… creating a BOX for yourself is as emotionally frightening as being physically buried in one. So why do we do that to ourselves?
How much more rewarding and fulfilling would life be if we got out of our own way?
How about… we just stop it?
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Today’s shift is this, pivoting your mind to let things go.
Before we understand the steps to letting go, we have to understand why we hold on:
Some people have trouble letting go of their pain or other unpleasant emotions about their past because they think those feelings are part of their identity. In some ways, you may not know who you are without your pain. This makes it impossible to let go. For example, in my own life, I defined myself by my eating disorder because I had it for 10 years - it was all I knew.
When it comes to letting go of grief, loss, pain, hurt, people, situations, etc., I have found there to be 3 key, effective steps:
1) Cry - Let the physical be congruent with the psychological. Make sure your mind and your body are feeling the feels, and take the appropriate time to let it out. Honor your loss. Trying to ignore your negative emotions will extend your suffering. Loss is difficult to experience, and it’s okay to allow yourself to hurt and be sad. Let yourself feel, and go through the grief process so that you can move forward.
2) Free Your Mind - Free yourself from being controlled by what other people think. Start to prioritize how you feel about yourself. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” You can’t live by your values if you’re living for the approval of others.
3) Forgive and Forget - Resentment and unwillingness to forgive will keep you locked in the past and prevent you from moving forward with your life. Remember: When you forgive, you aren’t doing it for the other person; you’re doing it for yourself. If for no other reason than that, forgive and let go.
4) Realize You're perfect - Carl Jung said, “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” There’s a lesson in that for all of us: Try to let go of whatever it is that’s holding you back from experiencing yourself. You’ll probably realize that you are not what other people say you are. You are not your pain, your past, or your emotions. It’s the negative ideas about ourselves and our hurtful self-talk that get in the way of who we really want to be.
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Chores around the house. Exercise. Eating clean. Heck, sometimes even leaving our houses to be social with friends; we are masters at talking ourselves out of anything.
But here’s the thing: Doing nothing is getting us nowhere.
How much further ahead in life would you be if every time you had talked yourself out of doing something you knew you needed to do, instead you would have just done it?
How much more success, wealth, HEALTH, and maybe even happiness would you have?
What can we do to talk ourselves INTO things rather than out of them?
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Change your friends, or change your friends.
Spending time around and interacting on social media and in real life with people who share similar goals is an easy way for you to bring that potential to the surface.
If you want to grow a flower, you can plant seeds; but without sunlight and water, you’re SOL.
If you want to be the plant that thrives, you need to spend time being water and under sunlight; not all friendships / relationships will foster that growth. So you can either try to change the minds of the people you're hanging out with, OR, change the group of people you're hanging out with. Your call.
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People always say, "I’ll be happy if… "
"I’ll be happy when..."
Social media, glamor magazines, the self-help section of any library or book store, commercials on TV and radio, even our own friends and family push happiness on us. Happiness is sold DAILY as a commodity that is to be actively pursued.
What we need to do to cultivate happiness is give ourselves over to something bigger than our wants / needs; be it the practice of a passionate life, meaningful relationships, and/or a gratifying career. When you stop looking for happiness, you'll find it. "Happiness cannot be pursued, it must ensue."
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Acting as if.
Have you ever just wanted to be, do, or have more?
What are you supposed to do about it?
Fake it til you make it?
That's so early 2000's. Nowadays, people are manifesting what they want through the Law of Attraction. But how can you 'pretend' to have what you desire without getting imposter syndrome? How can you have it, without really having it?
Today's episode dives into the psychology behind why you can't / shouldn't fake it, and how to 'act as if.'
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