Tell A Mother: Recent Episodes
Ashley Arinez
A podcast about what you wish someone had told you before holding your baby (or kid) for the first time. Hosted by: Ash Arinez
In this four-part series, we're going over the Thieves of Motherhood and in this episode we're going to quit the comparison game.
Be honest, when was the last time you compared yourself to another mom. Mine was just this morning. In that moment, I compared my life to hers without even knowing a single truth about her. I wasted time on thinking about her life instead of focusing on my two daughters playing in front of me. Far too often we do that to ourselves and it’s time we stop.
If you’d like to know more about me, Ash Arinez, you can find me on Instagram at @AshArinez and you can also follow @TellAMother for sneak peeks into future episodes and more. Don’t forget to visit AshArinez.com for more content or to sign up for my newsletter.
In this four-part series, we're going over the Thieves of Motherhood and first up is time.
We can’t do much about time stealing our days, but I do have six tips on how to use time to benefit you whether it’s a good day or a challenging one.
If you’d like to know more about me, Ash Arinez, you can find me on Instagram at @AshArinez and you can also follow @TellAMother for sneak peeks into future episodes and more. Don’t forget to visit AshArinez.com for more content or to sign up for my newsletter.
I want to share what we’re doing as a family to have a laidback summer and to encourage you to make your summer yours with three tips.
In this episode, I mention a summer bucket list that is free to download. You can find it here.
If you’d like to know more about me, Ash Arinez, you can find me on Instagram at @AshArinez and you can also follow @TellAMother for sneak peeks into future episodes and more. Don’t forget to visit AshArinez.com for more content or to sign up for my newsletter.
Y’all, we are back. If this is your first time listening, thank you for being here and if you’re joining me again, it’s so good to have you back.
If you’re new, you probably looked for older episodes and couldn’t find any. If you’re returning, this is showing up in your feed as episode one. Let me explain why and where I've been.
If you’d like to know more about me, Ash Arinez, you can find me on Instagram at @AshArinez and you can also follow @TellAMother for sneak peeks into future episodes and more. Don’t forget to visit AshArinez.com for more content or to sign up for my newsletter.
When I first started following Dr. Joy of My Modern Parenting on Instagram, I didn’t put two and two together that she was an advocate for the gentle parenting philosophy. I just knew that I loved what she was sharing and it was what I had been trying to do with my two children. Today Dr. Joy will be sharing more about that parenting philosophy that I personally try to practice every day.
You can find Dr. Joy on Instagram or at MyModernParenting.com.
If you’d like to know more about me, Ash, find me on Instagram at @AshArinez or follow @TellAMother for more on motherhood.
Today you’ll be hearing from our first guest of season two. Tierney Cashman is a mom who has quite a bit on her plate and she’s handling it all with grace, forgiveness and self-awareness that is so relatable. I am certain that you’ll be encouraged as you laugh along with us - even as we touch on some serious topics.
Be sure to follow Authentic Motherhood by Tierney Cashman on Facebook. Here's the "cool mom" piece that Tierney wrote.
If you’d like to know more about me, Ash, find me on Instagram at @AshArinez or follow @TellAMother for more on motherhood.
’ve never been crazy about summers – not even when I was younger. Then I became a mom and I wanted to make summers memorable for my daughters. As much as I want that, I also know that summer is very tiring for so many of us. That’s why I want to share a few thoughts on summer and motherhood and this time I’m going off-script to share three ideas with you.
If you’d like to know more about me, Ash, find me on Instagram at @AshArinez or follow @TellAMother for sneak peeks into future episodes and more.
This podcast episode is not what I was originally going to publish, but the last few weeks have been a challenge for so many in our country and I want to talk about that in this episode. We will never be able to fully prepare for the next time tragedy hits, but I hope that this episode has helped you feel more confident in the fact that you will know how to love your child best the next time their world is affected by unimaginable sadness.
If you’d like to know more about me, Ash, find me on Instagram at @AshArinez or follow @TellAMother for sneak peeks into future episodes and more.
Resources for Parents:Talking to Children About Tragedies - National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement
Talking with Children About Tragedies and Other News Events - American Academy of Pediatrics
Sources:An Age by Age Guide to Talking to Children About Mass Shootings - The New York Times
Guide for When Bad Things Happen - Dr. Becky Kennedy
Welcome to season two of Tell a Mother. Today we’re diving into what it means to be a mom with anxiety and some ways to work through it.
If you’d like to know more about me, Ash, find me on Instagram at @AshArinez or follow @TellAMother for sneak peeks into future episodes and more.
Sources:
Moms Are Not Okay: Covid-19 and Maternal Mental Health
To be completely honest, some of my earliest memories are sad. Then, there are fragments of other memories that contain tropical flowers and sweet fruit in my grandma’s backyard in South Florida. As I’ve grown older and had my own children, I want to do as much as I can to make my daughter’s earliest memories pleasant. I know that’s impossible, but I want to do my best create happy memories for them and I bet you do, too.
In this episode, we’re continuing our talk about memories and the importance of making them with our kids.
Sources:
Sir Federic Barlett
The Art of Making Memories
There are a few memories in my mind that make me cringe or physically discomfort me. One is from our first night home with Aria. She would not stop crying and my milk had not come in yet. I didn’t realize it, but she was hungry and my body simply wasn’t giving her what she needed. Two days later we were in the hospital for an extreme case of jaundice. I can’t change the past, but I can change how I react to that same memory that caused me to question if I was meant to be a mom.
Today we’re talking about the memories that cause us pain and what to do about them.
If you’d like to know more about me, Ash, find me on Instagram at @AshArinez or follow @TellAMother for sneak peeks into future episodes and more
Sources:
Letting Go of the Past - PsychCentral
Beckman Institute Study
Inner Health Studio Breathing Meditation
In this episode, Mandi Tuhro joins me for an authentic conversation on finding confidence in motherhood and making the decisions that are best for our families.
You can find Mandi on Instagram where she shares authentic thoughts on motherhood and more.
If you’d like to know more about me, Ash, find me on Instagram at @AshArinez or follow @TellAMother for sneak peeks into future episodes and more.
If you’ve been listening to my episodes, you’ll know that I’m really big on leaving comparisons behind and ignoring toxic positivity. If you follow me on social media, you also know that I love the holidays – every single one of them – well Thanksgiving isn’t too high up on my list, but it’s alright. Anyway, with both of these in mind, I know that the holidays can be challenging, I mean they’re challenging for me, but before we get caught up in the tinsel and sparkly lights, I want to share two words that I hope change your holiday season – let go.
If you’d like to know more about me, Ash, find me on Instagram at @AshArinez or follow @TellAMother for sneak peeks into future episodes and more
In today’s episode, I sit down with Rachel Lohman of Hope Again Collective Earrings. Hope Again Collective is a brand of handmade earrings sharing stories of miscarriage mamas where every pair sold provides direct support to hurting women. Join Rachel and I as we talk about our own losses and more.
Learn more about Hope Again Collective:
Instagram
Website
Facebook
You can find out more about me, Ash Arinez, on Instagram or asharinez.com or follow @TellAMother for sneak peeks into future episodes and more.
Have you ever spent time sizing yourself up to another mom? It’s okay we can be honest here. I’ll go first, once upon a time I based a lot of my goals on what other friends were doing and I even do it now. It’s not healthy and it’s a habit I want to break. As moms, we need to all end these hidden – and not so hidden – competitions between moms need to stop because we have little ones watching us and our own mental health is at risk.
If you’d like to know more about me, Ash, find me on Instagram at @AshArinez or follow @TellAMother for sneak peeks into future episodes and more.
As moms, we sometimes need those reminders that it’s okay to drop the ball every now and then in order to protect our health or relationships. Curious to know what that is all about? Keep listening as Neidy Hess joins me and we discuss motherhood, boundaries and setting realistic expectations for ourselves.
Find Neidy Hess Online:Neidyhess.com
Neidy's Instagram
Exhale Creative Instagram
If you’d like to know more about me, Ash, find me on Instagram at @AshArinez or follow @TellAMother for sneak peeks into future episodes and more.
Have you seen that meme that says something like, “Moms complain they need a break from their kids and then don't want to leave their kids. It's me, I'm moms.” Hands up – unless you’re driving – if you could have written this yourself. I probably have this thought once a week and even though I know I deserve a break and should take one for my own health, I struggle with it. If that’s you, take a listen to this episode.
If you’d like to know more about me, Ash, find me on Instagram at @AshArinez or follow @TellAMother for sneak peeks into future episodes and more.
Sources:
Caregiver Burnout - Cleveland Clinic
12 Stage of Burnout
Burnout Graphics - Healthline
This episode is dedicated to the babies we’ve lost and the women who carry on without them.
This October, as stories are shared about pregnancies that ended too soon or babies that left us before enough memories were made, please know that your precious child mattered and is worthy of a space in your heart and life. If you’re a friend or family member supporting someone with a pregnancy loss, thank you for caring about them and doing what you can during this time – it will make a difference.
If you like what you heard, I would love to connect with you on social media. You can find out more about me, Ash Arinez, on Instagram at @AshArinez or asharinez.com or follow @TellAMother for sneak peeks into future episodes and more. That’s all for now, but I’ll meet you right back here soon on Tell a Mother.
If it weren’t for the women in my life who have mentored me or extended their friendship to me, I wouldn’t be the mom I am. That is why I am excited to announce that we will be having special guests join us on a regular – or maybe not so regular basis – on episodes. Today I am excited to introduce you to Rebeca Huron. Aside from being one of my oldest and dearest friends, she is:
- A wife to her high school sweetheart (this January they will have been married 12 years)
- A mom (to three boys ages 12, 10 and 6)
- And she currently works in her local church as a Pastor’s Administrative Assistant in a small town in the heart of Florida.
Sit back as we talk about raising children in a challenging world while encouraging them to love
Have you ever left time with someone and felt more drained than energized? Or have you ever sat in a conversation and felt like you were simply the audience for a performer? If you can say yes to either of those you’ve probably been a part of a toxic relationship before. These are just two examples of toxic relationships and as moms, we don’t have time for them. Come along as we explore what is a toxic relationship and how you can stop them from stealing from your motherhood experience.
If you’d like to know more about Ash Arinez, find her on Instagram at @AshArinez or follow @TellAMother for sneak peeks into future episodes and more.
Be honest, when was the last time you compared yourself to another mom. Mine was just this morning. I saw a mom with her perfect ponytail and designer sunglasses at the park. I was in my brown sandals and blue tee that had a few spots from a coffee that was sipped too fast, but I just didn’t have enough time to change. I also had my prescription sunglasses that are as thick as coke bottles and remind me of my pair of glasses in 1st grade. In that moment, I compared my life to hers without even knowing a single truth about her. I wasted time on thinking about her life instead of focusing on my two daughters playing in front of me. Far too often we do that to ourselves and it’s time we stop.
If you’d like to know more about Ash Arinez, find her on Instagram at @AshArinez or follow @TellAMother for sneak peeks into future episodes and more.
I’m going to throw some numbers at you, they’re numbers that matter for women. They’re also numbers that I hope help you realize to love your body and mind the best you can because they matter to who you are as a person and can affect your life as a mom. According to Go Red for Women,, Heart disease causes 1 in 3 women’s deaths each year killing approximately one woman every minute. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention states that 1 in 8 women report symptoms of depression after giving birth and only half of pregnant women with depression were treated. I can go on for hours with stats about a lack in health care coverage for women, but I can’t. What I can try tondo is encourage you to take your health serious because you are your best advocate when it comes to caring for your mind and body – even as a mom when it feels like there are just too many things on your list. Let’s get started.
If you’d like to know more about Ash Arinez, find her on Instagram at @AshArinez or follow @TellAMother for sneak peeks into future episodes and more.
For a complete list of episode sources, visit asharinez.com.
Why does it feel like time plays tricks on us? We have all heard the old saying, “the days are long, but the years are short” and I am not a huge fan of it, but it is absolutely true. When we’re in the middle of our days as moms, we find ourselves with endless tasks lists and managing careers and households and we go from not having enough time to accomplish everything we want to feeling as if the day will never end. Then the days turn into weeks and before you know it you’re celebrating another birthday. We can’t do much about time stealing our days, but I do have six tips on how to use time to benefit you whether it’s a good day or a challenging one.
If you’d like to know more about Ash Arinez, find her on Instagram at @AshArinez or follow @TellAMother for sneak peeks into future episodes and more.
We’re doing it y’all – well, I am doing – I am making this summer mine. The sun is high and the temperatures are leaving us with sweat dripping down our backs, but summer was made for memories and I want to make as many as possible. Today I want to share what we’re doing as a family to have a laidback summer and to encourage you to make your summer yours with three tips. I’ll also have a bucket list that you can find on my website after this episode.
Find your free bucket list here.
If you’d like to know more about Ash Arinez, find her on Instagram at @AshArinez or follow @TellAMother for sneak peeks into future episodes and more.
Once upon a time, I refused to drive more than 30 minutes with my kids. They hated their car seats and they wanted to control the music with endless renditions of “Wheels on the Bus” or “Frozen.” A few times is fine, but an hour of each is way too much. Anyway, that has all recently changed as the last year as forced us to drive more and embrace the journey before we reach our destination. Today I’m going to share how our road trips have gone from dreaded overnight drives to days filled with pit stops and memories that will last a lifetime. Here are my top 4 tips for taking road trips with kids.
Download my free wallpapers with positive affirmations here.
First of all, I am not one for toxic positivity. What is that? It’s the belief that no matter how terrible a situation may be, people should maintain a positive mindset. It’s that “good vibes” only mantra. Again, I am NOT about that life. What I am about is reframing our situations and acknowledging that sometimes life is tough, but one is strong enough to make it to the other side. Enter “positive affirmations” and this coping mechanism to work through negative emotions through positive thinking strategies without denying the pain that is there. Let’s take a look at the science behind positive affirmations, how to work affirmations into your daily routine and my top 5 affirmations (that can be customized) for moms and kids.
Sources:
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF SELF‐DEFENSE: SELF‐AFFIRMATION THEORY
If you haven’t had a chance to listen to the previous episode, I’d love for you to take a listen. In that episode, I share my personal struggles with mental health throughout my motherhood journey. You can do it before or after this episode and if you listen and think that you’ve had those same thoughts or challenges, please seek help. You are not alone and I am right there with you. I have a list of resources in the description of both of these episodes that can help with your health.
Why are we still talking about mental health? Why does it deserve two episodes back to back? Mental health matters and we are going to do some work to work past the stigma and we’re going to try to be better moms by knowing more and doing better for our own lives and the lives of other moms. Let’s get started.
Resources for those struggling with mental health
Postpartum Support International
http://postpartum.net/
The mission of Postpartum Support International is to promote awareness, prevention and treatment of mental health issues related to childbearing in every country worldwide. It is the vision of PSI that every woman and family worldwide will have access to information, social support, and informed professional care to deal with mental health issues related to childbearing. PSI promotes this vision through advocacy and collaboration, and by educating and training the professional community and the public.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
http://suicidepreventiononlifeline.org/
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We’re committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
National Institute of Healthhttps://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/women-and-mental-health/index.shtml The mission of NIMH is to transform the understanding and treatment of mental illnesses through basic and clinical research, paving the way for prevention, recovery, and cure.
Mother Riskhttp://www.motherisk.org/women/index.jsp
Motherisk provides information about medication in pregnancy and breastfeeding to mothers and professionals.
Motherisk Helpline: 1-877-439-2744 (Toll-free)
Sources:
Mental Health By the Numbers
Happiness Helps: Improve Your Mental Health With Positive Affirmations
Untreated Mental Illness
In this episode, we’re kicking off a two-part series on mental health. Ash Arinez shares her journey with mental illness as it relates to her motherhood story. Follow Tell a Mother for sneak peeks into future episodes and more.
"I am a firm believer in sharing our own stories so that we can break down walls and begin conversations that are so very much needed. With that being said, I want to be sure that I give a trigger warning for abuse and suicide. These are challenging topics to discuss and we may not all be ready to listen without begin taken back to our own dark places. If this is true for you, feel free to meet us back her next episode. If you’re ready to begin listening, please know that if you have had any of these following thoughts or feelings, you are not alone because I have had them, too."
Resources for those struggling with mental health
Postpartum Support International
http://postpartum.net/
The mission of Postpartum Support International is to promote awareness, prevention and treatment of mental health issues related to childbearing in every country worldwide. It is the vision of PSI that every woman and family worldwide will have access to information, social support, and informed professional care to deal with mental health issues related to childbearing. PSI promotes this vision through advocacy and collaboration, and by educating and training the professional community and the public.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
http://suicidepreventiononlifeline.org/
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We’re committed to improving crisis services and advancing suicide prevention by empowering individuals, advancing professional best practices, and building awareness.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Hotline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
National Institute of Healthhttps://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/women-and-mental-health/index.shtml The mission of NIMH is to transform the understanding and treatment of mental illnesses through basic and clinical research, paving the way for prevention, recovery, and cure.
Mother Riskhttp://www.motherisk.org/women/index.jsp
Motherisk provides information about medication in pregnancy and breastfeeding to mothers and professionals.
Motherisk Helpline: 1-877-439-2744 (Toll-free)
Sources:APA: Trauma?
Perinatal Mood Disorders
CDC: Suicide is a leading cause of death.
Why is it sometimes so hard to make mom friends? We all have something in common, so what's stopping us? In this episode, Ash Arinez shares one of her lowest moments of motherhood - breaking down in tears after a library storytime - all because there wasn't a mom friend in sight.
If you’d like to know more about Ash Arinez, find her on Instagram at @AshArinez or follow @TellAMother for sneak peeks into future episodes and more.