Poly+Amor=Us: Recent Episodes
Mike & Elisa
Mike & Elisa are 30 somethings exploring their polyamorous relationship. They discuss how they decided to open up their relationship, what it is like to be married and poly, their dating experiences, and so much more.
We are taking a short break from the podcast for the holidays, but don't worry! We'll be back in January AND we will be interviewing members of the Poly and ENM community! Woohoo!
Also, I've been working on a course on how to open up an existing relationship! I get questions about this so often, that I figured it's time to make a course about it. If this is something you are interested in, please sign up here to be the first to know when it's completed!
Lastly, all episodes from this past season will be going up on Youtube! Quite a few people have expressed how much they like watching us and miss seeing that content! So, the episodes will be up shortly. Subscribe to our Youtube Channel to get notified when new episodes are available!
That's all for now! Happy Holidays and we will see you in the New Year!
Love,
Elisa & Mike
For Peer Support, schedule a 1:1 session with me!
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at hello@polyplusamor.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
Music provided by Scott Holmes Music
This is the final episode of our 3 part mini series about the book Sex at Dawn. Specific topics in today’s final episode include:
- Comparing body size and mass of males and females in different ape species.
- So, does size really matter? Yes, it actually does!
- How often are we and all the other primates having sex? Why does this matter?
- Known Ovulation vs. Concealed Ovulation
- Sperm competition and the battle within a woman’s vagina.
- A woman’s body has the ability to deny a certain man’s sperm if it isn’t compatible with her.
- Why are women so loud during sex?
- Why can a woman have multiple orgasms when her male partner can not?
Looking for Community? Join The PAC!
Need more than just community connection, schedule a 1:1 session with me!
Want to watch episodes and see the silly faces Mike and Elisa make? Join the Video Podcast Pal Membership!
Is Polyamory right for you? Take the quiz!
Loving the podcast? Support us!
We have a website! Check it out at PolyPlusAmor.com
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at hello@polyplusamor.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
Music provided by Scott Holmes Music
This is Part 2 of our mini series about the book Sex at Dawn. We have wanted to do an episode about this book for so long and it’s finally here! There’s so much to cover, so we split our conversation into 3 episodes. Specific topics in today’s second episode include:
- The origins of Swinging!
- How physical relationships bond together communities.
- Modern day diseases and stress don’t exist in modern hunter gather societies.
- Is our “civilized” society really making us happy?
- Has hoarding resources become the measure of success in our society?
- Comparing social structures of chimpanzees, gorillas, bonobos and humans.
- How the standard narrative has become ingrained in our modern society.
- Are we living in alignment with our true nature?
- How religion has punished and shamed society for sexual behavior and how that’s been ingrained in modern society.
- If monogamy is natural why is it still so hard for people all over the world to stay faithful?
Looking for Community? Join The PAC!
Need more than just community connection, schedule a 1:1 session with me!
Want to watch episodes and see the silly faces Mike and Elisa make? Join the Video Podcast Pal Membership!
Is Polyamory right for you? Take the quiz!
Loving the podcast? Support us!
We have a website! Check it out at PolyPlusAmor.com
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at hello@polyplusamor.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
Music provided by Scott Holmes Music
This is Part 1 of our mini-series about the book Sex at Dawn. We have wanted to do an episode about this book for so long and it’s finally here! There’s so much to cover, so we split our conversation into 3 episodes. Specific topics in today’s episode include:
- What is the standard narrative? When did it come about and is it still relevant?
- Did Hobbs and Darwin know that our ancestors weren’t monogamous?
- We look at how Flinstonization was used when researching the social structures of our ancestors.
- Which ape species are we most closely related to, and what does that have to do with our sexuality and social structures?
- Logistics of hunter gather societies and how hoarding is shameful.
- Sharing is caring!
- I tell the story of a modern day hunter-gatherer society and their social structure and how they view sex.
- Societies that don’t use the nuclear family system have children that never feel isolated, unloved, or traumatized by divorce.
- What would it look like if we transitioned back to smaller communities within communities, similar to a little compound.
Looking for Community? Join The PAC!
Need more than just community connection, schedule a 1:1 session with me!
Want to watch episodes and see the silly faces Mike and Elisa make? Join the Video Podcast Pal Membership!
Is Polyamory right for you? Take the quiz!
Loving the podcast? Support us!
We have a website! Check it out at PolyPlusAmor.com
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at hello@polyplusamor.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
Music provided by Scott Holmes Music
This week we talk about what it means to live life in the gray areas. Nothing in life is black and white and that includes our relationships! Specific topics include:
- As we’ve seen, monogamy works for some people but not everyone. Same with polyamory. So, why can’t we live somewhere in the middle?
- Humans love to put labels on each other so we can easily understand each other. But not everyone fits into the labels and boxes we’ve created.
- What is monogamish or monogamy +
- Do monogamous people actually use “hall passes” or allow exceptions?
- Exceptions should be normalized if they feel beneficial. But the don’t ask don’t tell rule should not apply. It can be harmful.
- Get it out of your system vs. enjoy a temporary experience
- Imagine if we talked about having gray area or wiggle room in a relationship UP FRONT instead of waiting for an attraction to start. What would that be like?
- We don’t always know what we want out of relationships when they first start. So, rules and boundaries outside of monogamy should be discussed up front.
- Not all rules and boundaries are set in stone. It’s ok to change to fit your needs!
Looking for Community? Join The PAC!
Need more than just community connection, schedule a 1:1 session with me!
Want to watch episodes and see the silly faces Mike and Elisa make? Join the Video Podcast Pal Membership!
Is Polyamory right for you? Take the quiz!
Loving the podcast? Support us!
We have a website! Check it out at PolyPlusAmor.com
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at hello@polyplusamor.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
Music provided by Scott Holmes Music
Recently, a lot of people have been asking if we are worried about getting STD’s because we are polyamorous. So, we wanted to dive into this question further!
Specific topics include:
- Polyamorous people are NOT more likely to get an STD than monogamous people. The risk is the same.
- Many of us are not actually practicing monogamy while we are dating. We sleep with multiple people at the same time until we decide to commit to one person. The risk of getting an STD is just as high or higher than a polyamorous person.
- Many of us were not being as intentional about our partners at this time, and we were not having conversations about STD’s and safe sex.
- Sometimes, our intention was to just go out and find a guy to have sex with. Even though we eventually wanted a monogamous relationship, we were not practicing monogamy while dating and go out and having fun.
- Most polyamorous people are looking for relationships and deep, intimate, emotional connections. Sex is not the main drive, so they are much more intentional about who they choose to have sex with.
- Always use protection!! This is extremely important no matter what kind of relationship style you are in.
- Ask new partners if they have any STD’s BEFORE engaging in sexual activity.
- Talk about your rules and boundaries with your partners. It’s always good to know when your partner is going to become sexually active when a new partner.
- Everyone should be getting tested regularly.
Looking for Community? Join The PAC!
Need more than just community connection, schedule a 1:1 session with me!
Want to watch episodes and see the silly faces Mike and Elisa make? Join the Video Podcast Pal Membership!
Is Polyamory right for you? Take the quiz!
Loving the podcast? Support us!
We have a website! Check it out at PolyPlusAmor.com
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at hello@polyplusamor.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
Music provided by Scott Holmes Music
We continue the conversation with my parents! We dive further into the book Sex at Dawn, finish chatting about how my parents felt as they watched Mike and I navigate our new relationship style, and philosophize (my new favorite word) even more!
Specific topics include:
- Are we monogamous by nature? Or have we chosen monogamy because of societal programming?
- Are we “going against our nature” by being monogamous?
- My parent’s thoughts and reactions when I first started dating other people.
- Mike’s dating life, or lack there of, and how we don’t “keep score” when it comes to dating and meeting new partners. Mike is going at his own pace.
- Could sexual relationships with multiple partners lead to resentment in relationships?
- Is it hard to meet other people who are polyamorous on dating apps or out in social situations?
- Our thoughts on polyamory becoming more popular in the future and why.
- Most people who are dating are practicing non-monogamy.
- Would my parents consider polyamory if they were 20 again? Now that they know what they know?
- There aren’t many examples of non-monogamy that are widely seen that are portrayed in a positive light. We need more representation in this area.
- Will Mike and I always be non-monogamous?
Looking for Community? Join The PAC!
Need more than just community connection, schedule a 1:1 session with me!
Want to watch episodes and see the silly faces Mike and Elisa make? Join the Video Podcast Pal Membership!
Is Polyamory right for you? Take the quiz!
Loving the podcast? Support us!
We have a website! Check it out at PolyPlusAmor.com
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at hello@polyplusamor.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
Music provided by Scott Holmes Music
This week we have our first guests ever on the podcast, Elisa’s parents, Hartzell and Ramona! We had so much fun chatting with them that we turned it into a two part interview. We talk about what it was like for them as parents to learn that I had cheated on Mike and their thoughts and feelings as they watched us navigate our relationship and decide to be Polyamorous.
Specific topics include:
- How Elisa’s parent’s (The Parental Unit) felt about Mike when they first met him.
- The Parental Unit’s reaction when they learned Elisa had cheated on Mike.
- The Parental Unit’s initial thoughts about Elisa and Mike being Polyamorous which was mostly negative.
- The difficulties of marriage in general and how most end in divorce.
- Polyamory and Monogamy both have their pitfalls and bright sides. They are two sides of the same coin and there is no right or wrong.
- The Parental Unit slowly started to change their minds about polyamory as they watched us work on creating rules and boundaries for our relationship.
- History of marriage, different kinds of marriages and how they each have pitfalls but can also be very successful.
- They keys to make any kind of relationship successful: communication, honesty, and boundaries.
- Hartzell compares learning that we are polyamorous to how other parent’s must feel when they learn their child is LGTBQ+
- Elisa finally started dating and it all became real. The Parental Unit’s were pleasantly surprised with how it all worked out.
- Is polyamory a choice? Or is it inherent? Is monogamy inherent? Or is monogamy a choice?
Stay tuned as we continue the conversation next week in Part 2!
Looking for Community? Join The PAC!
Need more than just community connection, schedule a 1:1 session with me!
Want to watch episodes and see the silly faces Mike and Elisa make? Join the Video Podcast Pal Membership!
Is Polyamory right for you? Take the quiz!
Loving the podcast? Support us!
We have a website! Check it out at PolyPlusAmor.com
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at hello@polyplusamor.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
Music provided by Scott Holmes Music
Dating apps can be tricky to navigate as a polyamorous person. Elisa gets into all the details about her favorite dating apps in a solo episode!
Specific topics include:
- Being “picky” on dating apps is actually a good thing!
- Dating apps talked about include: Fantasy Match, #Open, OkCupid, and Feeld
- Fantasy Match is most for people looking for different kinds of sexual experiences
-
Open is for ENM and Open relationships. There’s not much a profile on this one. Mostly just pictures.
- OkCupid is an older app that has added new filter features that include non-monogamny
- Feeld is my favorite app! It has space for a profile and linking a partner’s profile. It also has a blog with tons of great content that is super informative.
Looking for Community? Join The PAC!
Need more than just community connection, schedule a 1:1 session with me!
Want to watch episodes and see the silly faces Mike and Elisa make? Join the Video Podcast Pal Membership!
Is Polyamory right for you? Take the quiz!
Loving the podcast? Support us!
We have a website! Check it out at PolyPlusAmor.com
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at hello@polyplusamor.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
Music provided by Scott Holmes Music
This episode piggybacks off of last week’s episode. If we aren’t able to talk about Polyamory with some of our friends, then finding a community where we can share is super important. That’s why we’ve created The PAC on Mighty Networks. Click here to join!
Specific topics include:
- Mike shares about the active engineering community he is part of, and how he leverages other people’s knowledge and experiences to help him in his work.
- I think his description of the group is very close to how The PAC is going to be structured.
- If you’ve never been part of a community on Mighty Networks then you’re in for a treat! We have different forums to chat about different topics like: opening up an existing relationship, dating + polyamory, parenting + polyamory, different types of ENM relationship styles, AMA for myself and Mike, and questions about the podcast and topic suggestions. And we will add more as the community grows!
- There’s also a group chat feature, like a group text, where everyone can chat about what’s going on with them each day, share what’s on their mind, and connect!
- Eventually we will host events! Live events in Los Angeles and online events as well.
- Also, this community is PRIVATE. Everyone who wants to join has to submit a request. This is so we can keep the space safe, and you don’t have to worry about being outed.
- This is a community space driven by YOU the community members. We want to hear from you about what you want from this community. This is a support system built for you, and we want your input on how to make it beneficial for you!
- And, if you feel like you need more than just community connection, schedule some time for a 1:1 session with me! Let’s pour ourselves some coffee or tea and chat.
Looking for Community? Join The PAC!
Want to watch episodes and see the silly faces Mike and Elisa make? Join the Video Podcast Pal Membership!
Is Polyamory right for you? Take the quiz!
Loving the podcast? Support us!
We have a website! Check it out at PolyPlusAmor.com
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at hello@polyplusamor.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
Music provided by Scott Holmes Music
This week, Mike and I discuss how it can be hard to be polyamorous and not have friends who understand the lifestyle. It’s exhausting to have to constantly explain and justify your feelings and way of loving. So, it’s important to have friends who do get it regardless of if they are polyamorous or monogamous.
This week's drink: Mad Tasty Sparkling water with hemp and CBD. Watermelon kiwi flavor. Mike and I both give it a 7 rating.
In this episode we discuss:
- Most of our friends are monogamous and think what we are doing is weird. But they are still friends with us.
- What it’s like to have friends that don’t want to know anything about our other relationships now that we are polyamorous. It’s hard because relationships are a HUGE part of our lives, so it feels like there’s this whole side of ourselves we have to keep private.
- Mike is more understanding about his friends not wanting to hear about his other relationships, but for me, it makes me feel like they don’t care enough about me as a friend to want to know more about me and my beliefs.
- Mike disagrees with me. He thinks that it’s a matter of interest. Some people are naturally more curious. But some friends aren’t intrigued by it, so they don’t ask about it.
- It’s difficult to always have to explain ourselves, repeat ourselves, and explain ourselves over and over again.
- I talk about the difference between friends asking questions because they are genuinely curious, and friends asking questions because they are being judgmental.
- Mike talks about the wide range of responses that friends have when first finding out that we are polyamorous, and how their different responses are a reflection of their own personal beliefs. It can reveal more about someone’s belief systems and how they truly feel about someone who goes against their beliefs and social norms.
- We do have friends that are super curious, listen to the podcast, and ask questions because they are genuinely curious. There’s no judgement behind their questions, and they are seeking to understand us.
- Do all friends need to care about every aspect of our lives? Do we have to be all in or all out when it comes to friendships? It’s a quality vs. quantity kind of issue.
- Mike compares us to cats and dogs, and it’s hilariously accurate!
- So, where do we find those friends that totally understand what it means to be polyamorous, or at least want to try and understand? Well, you can find them in our budding community, The PAC!
- If you’re polyamorous, ethically non-monogamous, or curious about polyamory and wondering if it’s right for you, then join our community! This is a safe space FOR YOU to meet other like-minded people who totally get this part of your life. A place where you don’t have to explain yourself. A place where you are accepted for exactly who you are.
If you want to schedule time for a 1:1 Peer Support Session click here!
Looking for Community? Join The PAC!
Want to watch episodes and see the silly faces Mike and Elisa make? Join the Video Podcast Patron Membership!
Is Polyamory right for you? Take the quiz!
Loving the podcast? Support us!
We have a website! Check it out at PolyPlusAmor.com
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at hello@polyplusamor.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
Music provided by Scott Holmes Music
In today’s episode, Mike and Elisa discuss how they realized they were Polyamorous. It wasn’t an immediate “a-ha” moment, but something figured out over time. Mike came to it through the theoretical side of things through reading books. Elisa figured it out through the practical- based on patterns she noticed from her lived experiences and feelings.
Specific topics include:
- Mike read psychology and dating books that outlined polyamory
- He also, heard other men’s experiences and stories of being polyamorous and felt like it was something that would make sense for him.
- Mike felt like he had to hold himself back whenever he met a woman he was really drawn to while he was in a relationship.
- So, if Polyamory was something Mike was interested in, why didn’t he suggest it to Elisa when they first started dating?
- Elisa walks through a few different scenarios in past relationships where she wished she had known about Polyamory. This lead her to realizing that she had a pattern of falling for more than one person at a time. Hind sight is 20/20!
- Elisa also talks about how she wished she had had a mentor of some kind who could have given her guidance around her love life and ethical non-monogamy.
- Elisa cheating was actually the perfect opportunity for Mike to suggest Polyamory, a relationship style that he had always wanted but hadn’t felt confident enough to pursue.
- Mike and Elisa truly believe they would have “found” polyamory eventually, even if Elisa hadn’t cheated.
- Mike and Elisa describe what they feel they have gained in their lives since embracing polyamory.
Elisa is excited to offer Peer Support Sessions! These sessions are for anyone who is discovering they may be Polyamorous and need some help and guidance navigating what they are experiencing. Or for someone who is already polyamorous and needs to talk to someone who also understands polyamorous relationship dynamics. If you want to schedule time for a Peer Support Session click here!
Looking for Community? Join The PAC!
Want to watch episodes and see the silly faces Mike and Elisa make? Join the Video Podcast Pal Membership!
Is Polyamory right for you? Take the quiz!
Loving the podcast? Support us!
We have a website! Check it out at PolyPlusAmor.com
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at hello@polyplusamor.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
Music provided by Scott Holmes Music
We are back! After a year-long hiatus, we are back at it and have some exciting news to share!
First, we are creating a Community called The PAC! As many of you know we have been searching high and low for the Poly community in LA. Like, does it even exist!? If it does, we haven’t found it yet. So we decided to create our own! The PAC will launch on August 2nd, so mark your calendars! We will share more details in later podcasts.
Next, we started a Ko-fi page! Ko-fi is like Patreon but way better because it doesn’t take out a huge percentage of the money that is donated. This is where you can support us and the podcast with a one time payment, or join one of our monthly membership tiers to support us on an on-going basis. This is also where you will be able to access the video portion of our podcast moving forward.
Finally, we are really trying to grow this podcast and reach more people. Why? Because it’s our mission to share our story and help to normalize Polyamory and other forms of Non-Monogamy. The best way to help us with this is to rate and review our podcast! If you do, we will send you our Resource List filled with book recommendations, tv shows, and other podcasts to explore! To get the Resource List, rate and review our podcast on apple podcast. Take a screenshot and email it to hello@polyplusamor.com and we will send you the resource list. Simple!
This season we have started taste-testing non-alcoholic beverages! Specifically, drinks that are a substitute for alcohol. This week’s tasty beverage is Recess and the flavor is Strawberry Rose. It’s a pink cloud of deliciousness!
Ok, so here’s what we’ve been up to in the last year:
- Elisa worked 5 different jobs last year and is no longer in the restaurant industry. Yay! She is doing social media management full-time.
- Celebrated our 3-year wedding anniversary wine tasting in Paso Robles.
- Got snowed in while visiting Mike’s Mom for Christmas!
- Mike got a new job! And sadly, his commute has not improved.
- We didn’t date at all! I know, we said we were going to, but we didn’t date.
- BUT Elisa has been dating this year! She shares a little about how it’s going and what she is looking for, but a more detailed account will come in later episodes.
- We’ve been working on a HUGE project that is related to Polyamory that we are so excited about, but we aren’t allowed to share the details just yet! As soon as we can you’ll be the first to know!
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at hello@polyplusamor.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
Music provided by Scott Holmes Music
Announcement: This is the final episode of our first season!
We will return after the summer to continue the podcast with season 2. Follow Elisa on social media for more updates throughout the summer and for the announcement of when season 2 will begin.
In the final episode of season 1 Mike and Elisa continue their conversation about astrology. Specific topics include:
- How a birth chart can make more sense as someone gets to know themself more on a deeper level. Elisa and Mike both give specific examples of how certain aspects of their charts started to make more sense as they got to know themselves better.
- Elisa discusses her Sun, Moon, and Rising signs, and how she used to deny certain parts of herself. This lead to feeling like her chart, at first, didn't make sense.
- Elisa talks about how her Mars and Venus are both in Aquarius! This was a huge indicator for her that non-monogamy was probably a good fit for her.
- Elisa's North Node is also in Aquarius! What does all of this mean, and how does it relate to polyamory?
- Mike and Elisa discuss how their North Nodes are in the other person's Sun Sign, and how this means they are both striving to learn and embody the qualities that the other person naturally possesses.
- How does looking at the different aspects of your chart and looking at the different elements play a role in deeply understanding oneself and becoming whole?
- Mike and Elisa discuss the Matrix! What is an awakening? What does it mean to push past limiting beliefs and to wake up to new aspects of the self?
- "Someone can show you the path, but only you can actually walk it."
- How have Mike and Elisa seen their lives align with their North Node over the past few years since their Awakenings?
- Aligning to your North Node isn't an easy task. It is something we are all working on our whole lives, so what does it look like to get out of your comfort zone and align with your North Node?
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at PolyPlusAmorEqualsUs8@gmail.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
Music provided by Scott Holmes Music
Mike and Elisa talk about astrology! This is part 1 of the conversation where they talk about how astrology and polyamory can go hand in hand. And if you don't know anything about astrology don't worry! Elisa breaks everything down so anyone can follow along. This discussion focuses mainly on Mike's birth chart and specific topics include:
- There's more than one sign!? What are Sun, Moon, and Rising signs?
- Elisa breaks down the meaning of each aspect, and how it can show up in someone's birth chart.
- Mike's Sun, Moon, and Rising. What are they and how has he embodied them throughout his life?
- What are Mars and North Node?
- What has Mike's personal growth journey looked like and how does that relate to his Mars and North Node?
- How does any of this relate to polyamory!? Mike and Elisa break it all down for you.
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at PolyPlusAmorEqualsUs8@gmail.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
Music provided by Scott Holmes Music
In Episode 14, Elisa and Mike explore the common desire to chase someone else's love. Specific topics include:
- Elisa's and Mike's personal experiences with both chasing someone's love and having someone chase their love.
- What causes someone to chase another person's love?
- Did Mike and Elisa become polyamorous to chase love for external validation?
- Is love more than just an evolutionary human trait that brings men and women together to reproduce and carry on the species?
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at PolyPlusAmorEqualsUs8@gmail.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
Music provided by Scott Holmes Music
Mike and Elisa share pick up lines they have heard and Mike even reveals some pick up lines he's tried using in his younger days. Specific topics include:
- What pick up lines has Elisa heard and did she think they were good?
- What pick up lines has Mike used before or heard his friends use and did they work?
- What are the different types of pick up lines?
- Do pick up lines work in general?
- What is a better, more natural way of approaching a woman rather than use a pick up line?
- What are some men's dating books that include, and don't include, pick up lines?
Books mentioned during the episode:
- Neil Strauss - The Game
- Richard LaRuina - The Natural
- Mark Manson - Models
- Josh Pellicer - The Tao of Badass
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at PolyPlusAmorEqualsUs8@gmail.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
Music provided by Scott Holmes Music
In Episode 12, Elisa and Mike share their thoughts and experiences when it comes to revealing to a potential new partner that they are married. Specific topics include:
- What have been the responses thus far that Elisa and Mike have received when revealing that they are married to a potential new partner who has always been in monogamous relationships?
- The different approaches and difficulties for Elisa revealing to men and Mike revealing to women that they are married.
- A discussion on the evolutionary and societal reasons why revealing your marriage status, and dating in general, is different for men and women.
- When is it appropriate to reveal that you are married to someone you are interested in during your first interaction?
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at PolyPlusAmorEqualsUs8@gmail.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
Music provided by Scott Holmes Music
In Episode 11, Mike and Elisa delve deeper into a topic briefly discussed in last week's live stream. They discuss their own personal experiences when it comes to defining your own belief system versus simply following societal standards and/or the beliefs you've been taught by your parents. Specific topics include:
- What are societal standards for being a "good girl" and "good boy" and how can this strict definition at a young age limit someone from finding their own path?
- How have Elisa and Mike come to recognize and change their own belief and behavior patterns?
- What specific influences have Elisa's and Mike's parents had on them to make them who they are today?
- What do Elisa and Mike think defines a "good" spouse in a polyamorous, non-monogamous marriage?
Also, near the beginning of the episode, Elisa is trying to remember a field of study where a person's behavior and environment has a physical effect on their genes. That field of study is epigenetics.
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at PolyPlusAmorEqualsUs8@gmail.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
Music provided by Scott Holmes Music
This week we did another live episode where we answered your questions! But first, we talk a little bit about our vacation in Cabo, and also about societal beliefs that shape our lives and relationships.
Here are your questions that we answered:
- What aspects do you feel like you're still trying to figure out as a couple?
- What is a core belief that you each have that differs from your parent's core beliefs?
- What is something we each hope the other will get to experience because of polyamory?
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at PolyPlusAmorEqualsUs8@gmail.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
In Episode 9, Mike discusses why he wants to be polyamorous. Ultimately, he shares his side of the story on becoming polyamorous with guiding and probing questions from Elisa throughout the episode. Specific topics covered include:
- When did Mike first hear about polyamory and why did it interest him?
- What are common concerns friends and family members had when he first told them about being polyamorous?
- Why Mike wasn't "convinced" by Elisa to become polyamorous?
- The benefits of being openly expressive of your beliefs and desires and how not doing so can cause others to project their own beliefs onto you or create false narratives
- Elisa's parent's thoughts on polyamory and the "free love" scene when they were in their late 20s/early 30s
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at PolyPlusAmorEqualsUs8@gmail.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
Music provided by Scott Holmes Music
In Episode 8, Elisa and Mike tackle the common question of why get married if you're going to be non-monogamous. Specific topics covered include:
- What does commitment mean in a non-monogamous relationship?
- How do Elisa and Mike structure their polyamorous relationship?
- What are the non-emotional benefits to being married?
- What were Elisa and Mike feeling around the time they got married?
- Why did Elisa and Mike decide to have two "weddings"?
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at PolyPlusAmorEqualsUs8@gmail.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
Music provided by Scott Holmes Music
In Episode 7, Elisa and Mike discuss their thoughts on how cheating has become normalized in American culture and why they believe being true to your intentions and honest with your communication should be the norm. Specific topics tackled include:
- How did Elisa and Mike first become introduced to the idea of cheating in their adolescent years and what were their first impressions?
- How do Elisa and Mike deal with having romantic feelings for other people while in a relationship?
- Ideas for bringing up the desire to be polyamorous or ethically non-monogamous while beginning a new relationship.
- The basic pros and cons of being polyamorous or ethically non-monogamous and opening a relationship that began monogamous.
- How Elisa and Mike are trying to help normalize honest communication, vulnerability, and monogamy/polyamory through this podcast.
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at PolyPlusAmorEqualsUs8@gmail.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
Music provided by Scott Holmes Music
Hey ya'll! We're excited to present our very first live chat! In this first of many monthly live chats to come, we fielded participant questions and comments as well as filled in some downtime by playing a little Q&A game. The bulk of the live chat consisted of a discussion on the following topics:
- How did we become polyamorous?
- Is Elisa bi-sexual?
- How have we and how do we want to manage our time amongst multiple partners?
- Do we date and/or play together?
- Do we use dating apps, and, if so, which ones?
- What's the difference between polygamy and polyamory?
Links to previous podcast episodes that were referenced can be found here:
- Episode 2: Our Story - Part 2
- Episode 4: Cheating
- Episode 5: Jealousy and Insecurities
The TV show referred to in the live chat about a couple opening up their relationship has now been remembered. It's called Wanderlust and it's available on Netflix.
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at PolyPlusAmorEqualsUs8@gmail.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
This week Mike and Elisa talk about how they dealt with jealousy and insecurities when the other started dating. Topics discussed include:
- Mike's struggles with insecurities as Elisa started dating for the first time
- How Mike worked through those insecurities
- What happens if you fall in love with someone else?
- Boundaries and rules: how they changed as comfort levels shifted
- Communication, communication, communication!
- Mike's slow transition into feeling comfortable enough to date other women
- How Mike's first experience with another woman was heart opening for all of his relationships.
- Experiencing disappointment/heartbreak from dating, while simultaneously being in love.
REMINDER: Next week we will not have a recorded episode for you. Instead we are doing a LIVE STREAM! It will be Monday 3/8 at 7:00pm PT. Here is the link to attend:
https://www.podbean.com/lsw/y0gAUg1uYv?lsid=ePj50tVzixV
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at PolyPlusAmorEqualsUs8@gmail.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
Music provided by Scott Holmes Music
Mike and Elisa detail their thoughts and feelings before, during, and after the cheating incident that was the catalyst to their eventual decision of becoming polyamorous. Topics include:
- Mike's perspective and side of the story
- What allowed Mike and Elisa to work through this difficult and transformative time period and stay together
- What comes after cheating?
- Elisa's gradual progression to understanding her desire to be polyamorous
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at PolyPlusAmorEqualsUs8@gmail.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
Music provided by Scott Holmes Music
Mike and Elisa talk about past relationships. How they shaped them, how they've grown, what they've learned, and how they influenced their decision to become polyamorous.
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at PolyPlusAmorEqualsUs8@gmail.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
Music provided by Scott Holmes Music
In this episode Mike and Elisa finish telling the story of how they decided to become polyamorous. They discuss:
- Elisa cheating. What happened and how it affected their relationship
- How this prompted them to discuss the option of opening up their relationship and becoming polyamorous.
- What it was like dating people for the first time AFTER getting married
- A brief overview of how dating has gone so far
- Dating during a pandemic
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at PolyPlusAmorEqualsUs8@gmail.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
Music provided by Scott Holmes Music
Mike and Elisa introduce themselves and share their story, which includes:
- The basics: brief explanation of who they are and what they do
- Why they decided to create this podcast
- How they came up with the name
- How they met!
- Their relationship early on
The conversation will continue next week, so stay tuned to hear exactly how they decided to open up their relationship.
If you have any questions or would like to contact Mike and Elisa you can email them at PolyPlusAmorEqualsUs8@gmail.com or message Elisa on Instagram. Her handle is @_Elisa.Janelle
Music provided by Scott Holmes Music