The Empowering Working Moms Podcast-Real Talk with Dr. Prianca Naik

Episode 93: Managing Difficult Relationships: Proactive Strategies for Working Moms

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about dysfunctional relationships with people who have narcissistic or borderline tendencies and how they must be managed with strategies and boundaries. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can protect your peace by utilizing the tools she explores in this week’s episode. Tune in for more on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn how:

Dysfunctional relationships can negatively impact mental health.
To recognize unhealthy relationship patterns.
To utilize strategies to manage dysfunctional familial relationships.
To detect narcissistic and borderline personality disorders.

Check out her free masterclass on how over-driven career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self-care in only five minutes a day.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 93. Hello there, thank you so much for tuning in today, it is springtime finally. And in the northeast, there's hope in the air, summer is around the corner. And I'm sure so many of you have awesome trips planned or have had spring break trips or are doing summer stuff, all good.

And today's episode was really inspired by the dysfunctional relationships that you probably have. I know there's no way all your relationships are 100% perfect. So I want to talk about why this happens. And I think participating in unhealthy dynamics and relationships is a major thief. And it steals peace of mind. And it steals joy and it's a huge waste of time.

So, the sooner that we can start learning about our lives, and just learning to be aware, and then with that awareness, we can have tools that we use to really create this beautiful life. Because I know so many of you probably are just go, go, go from the minute your alarm goes off, getting out the door, yelling at your kids to get ready on time, brush their teeth, then you feel guilty for yelling.

And then when you're at work, all you're doing is thinking about home stuff and your kids. When you're with your kids you want to be present. But even during their nighttime routine storytime, you're just thinking of your to do list or counting down the minutes until you get a little bit of a break before you go to bed.

And so that's what I call the daily grind dread cycle. And it's such a shame for any of us to be participating in it because we've worked so hard to enjoy this life. And really, the work I do inside my program with clients, really teaches them to undo all of this and really heal from the inside out to create a next healthier and happier generation of children. So that's our kids.

And the work we do really does impact them and have a ripple effect on those around us. And as we model better self talk, better coping skills, showing them how we practice mindfulness, for example. And we take a moment before we lose it and things like that. They see that modeled and they learn to do the same thing, which is amazing.

So this work really isn't so much about us. I do this work, so that we get to be better for our kids than our parents were for us. So let's dive into the topic today. And also, if you want to learn more about this work, don't be shy book a call with me, PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me, the link is in the show notes. And we can really dive deeper into what's going on with you, see if we're a good fit to work together.

So in today's episode, I'm going to start by talking about some access to personality disorders, typically, narcissism and borderline because I think that they're very common, and those are really two disorders, and people have those traits, and these traits can be really pervasive in a lot of people.

And in fact, Type A women, perfectionists and high achievers, overachievers often have narcissistic parents. And that narcissism has its positive side because as that parent, they identify with you like you're a part of their identity, and you're perpetuating their sense of self. So they put pressure on you to produce and to do well, and even there are narcissistic cultures, which I really believe that South Asian culture has a lot of narcissistic tendencies.

And I'm gonna get into the actual disorder, so how you can learn and identify it. But yeah, there are cultures that have personality disorder traits and people who have those. And so the reason I'm talking about it today is because someone in your family probably does have major traits or the actual disorders of narcissism and or borderline.

And educating ourselves on this can really help alleviate our own suffering, and bring us peace of mind because we can categorize things. I find categorizing things or putting people in a certain box actually will help me for understanding strange and irrational behaviors, so like why they behave the way they behave when I'm not understanding it.

And remember that when people are behaving irrationally, their behavior rarely has anything to do with you, and really has everything to do with them. But engaging with them is always a waste of time. Because most of the time, they never change, they never grow. So having a real conversation with them isn't really going to go anywhere. And it's simply a waste of time and energy.

And conserving our time and energy is such a crucial part of this work. So that's why I talk about it all the time in so many episodes. Even the concept of creating boundaries, that saves you so much time and energy, like a lot of this work, is to save us that space so that we have the things that really matter.

Now, the relationships with people who have narcissistic tendencies or borderline tendencies really must be managed with strategies and boundaries. I'm going to talk to you about that to give you some tools. So let's start with narcissistic personality disorder, and really go through some criteria that the DSM-5, which is a manual used by psychiatrists and physicians and clinicians to diagnose mental disorders.

And I'm going to abbreviate NPD, narcissistic personality disorder. It is really characterized by a pattern of grandiosity, feeling full of yourself, needing admiration all the time, and really lacking empathy for others, being really self absorbed, really self centered.

So someone who's really preoccupied with themselves, their achievements, their image. They may seem overly confident, but this actually really masks a deeper vulnerability to criticism, like they're really sensitive, because they have a poor sense of self, they usually have poor self esteem, but that's really, really hidden deep inside.

And men like this are actually very charming. And they will suck you in with grandiose gestures in the beginning of dating and can really charm and knock your socks off. So beware of that if you're a single woman dating, if it's too much too soon and too fast, it probably is, and they probably have these kinds of narcissistic tendencies.

So key criteria for NPD includes a grandiose sense of self importance, preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success and unlimited power, brilliance, beauty. A belief that one is special, unique, better than other people, needing excessive admiration, having entitlement, like unrealistic expectations of people, especially favorable treatment, or automatic compliance with their expectations.

Usually taking advantage of others or manipulating other people to serve themselves, lacking empathy, really being unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others, envy of others, or even thinking that others envy them, kind of a haughty attitude. So these are the main traits.

Now I'm going to define and explain borderline personality disorder which I'll call BPD, which is really marked by intense emotional turmoil and unstable relationships. So these kinds of people, they're moody, they have rapid mood swings, they have major fear of abandonment and difficulty with self image, but it's not that obvious.

In fact, there's a book that's called "I Hate You Don't Leave Me" which is the book for dealing with people with borderline personality sorter. So think about, I hate you, but I don't want you to leave me. So if you're ever wondering what it means just go back to that line because it really does sum it up.

So they really want to avoid abandonment, either real or imagined. They have a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized alternating between extremes of idealization, but also devaluation.

They have an unstable self image or sense of self, they're impulsive and at least a couple of areas of self damage or self harm, which would be spending too much, over sexing, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating, things like that.

Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, threats or self mutilating behavior, instability due to marked reactivity of their moods. So they get really angry over not much. They have feelings of emptiness, they have inappropriate intense anger or difficulty controlling their anger. So they're often angry, they're often raging. They also have transient stress related paranoid ideation. So like they're paranoid.

And by thinking about this, it will help you when you have an idea of what these two things are, and you can always Google it, or you can look at the show notes here, and you can go through that list and it can help you to think, hmm, does this person have these traits? Okay, maybe they have these traits. So then I don't have to really engage so deeply in this.

Like it's kind of a last cause to engage with a narcissist or like to try and have true intimacy with them. Or even borderline, they're so turbulent and they don't really improve with time. So you're better off just acknowledging and then deciding what kind of engagement you want to have with them.

So I'm going to give you some strategies to navigate these relationships with people who have borderline tendencies or narcissistic personality sorter tendencies. And remember, some people have the full blown disorder, which means they have got the majority of the list I listed out earlier in the episode, or they might just have tendencies. And that's fine, like, no one's all good or all bad.

But these disorders, I forgot to mention, really are thought to be more nurture the nature and they develop through childhood trauma. And once the brain is affected by that childhood trauma, often these personality disorders ensue.

And it can be really confusing because these people often do really well in their careers, they do really well at work. And then at home maybe, or with their family or with super, super close friends, they act completely different. So it can be really confusing. And you may be surrounded by this, and then think to yourself, hmm, I'm the crazy one.

But the truth is that once you can start recognizing the attributes that I talked about in this episode, you can start getting some distance and empowering yourself to decide how you want to operate with those sorts of people.

So number one is to really set boundaries and decide for yourself, like what is acceptable for you, and what isn't. So if you have someone who, let's say is in your family, and they throw tantrums, or they make you uncomfortable, you could, let's say go to a family holiday. And then you don't have to tell them your boundary.

But in your mind, you could say okay, well, if they have a tantrum, I will go to my room, or if they have a tantrum, I will leave early, like I'm not going to stay. And that way you have your safety mechanism for yourself amidst any chaos.

Another strategy is really to maintain your own mental health and take care of yourself, get good sleep, really make sure that you're in not your worst self when dealing with these kinds of people. Meaning that you're not exhausted, that you're not depleted. And you can actually be in an okay position to manage the nonsense maybe that they will throw your way.

Developing friends that you choose that are really healthy and wonderful and supportive that you can turn to that can validate some of these things that when maybe somebody in your family acts strangely, you can call a friend, and they can validate for you that yeah, that is really ridiculous.

As opposed to when you're in your family, especially your parents, your siblings, it's really hard to see straight because you've been with them for so long, you're in certain patterns with them of your own. And so sometimes it's really helpful just to have an outside resource. And that could be a friend, that could be a therapist, that could be a coach, but it's always useful to have another set of eyes and ears on things.

And really educating yourself and understanding these disorders so that you can really give yourself some grace and understand what is happening. And focusing on what you can control which is yourself, and how much time and energy you want to engage with certain people, especially with your family it can always be tricky, just figuring out physical distance. Or maybe instead of staying at your mom and dad's house for 10 days, you stay for three days, things like that.

Learning how to de escalate things like lowering your voice or walking away or just not engaging in war with these people, with sparring with them because it's just a waste of time. And really learning to be your own support system so you're not turning to these kinds of people who really can't give you what you're looking for.

And another strategy I'll give you is called gray rocking which is a strategy that's used to interact with people who have personality disorders or manipulative or abusive, like narcissistic and borderline. And gray rock really suggest becoming uninteresting, unresponsive, like a dull gray rock. This is to avoid giving the manipulative person any emotional response or engagement.

So especially narcissists, if you don't respond, you don't react, you're not giving them a big emotion, they're not satisfied. So there's like not a whole lot they can do. And gray rocking is when you make yourself really emotionally nonreactive, make yourself really boring, you offer minimal responses, you withhold any engaging reactions or emotions that the manipulative person could use against you or to fuel their behavior.

And the goal is really to make the manipulator lose interest in you because they're not going to get the emotional response that they seek. And this is really effective with people who thrive on creating drama, or they really want to elicit a strong emotional response from other people.

It's also recommended for dealing with anyone who has narcissistic traits. And it's good in situations where engaging in a normal way just doesn't help and it's a good kind of last resort.

So, how you go about doing this really minimal responses, providing one word answers or non committal responses, like hmm, I see, or okay. Avoid giving detailed answers or showing emotional reactions. Neutral topics like mundane neutral things, like the weather, TV, routine tasks. Avoid sharing personal information, don't overshare and don't share personal information, feelings, thoughts, or anything really about you to give them ammo against you.

And really being nonreactive in your demeanor. So really controlling your body language, your voice, being monotone and avoid showing signs of agitation or distress. And really disengage like excusing yourself from interactions if you feel like things are escalating or you're uncomfortable, and consistency with using this method so that they realize that they really can't get you to engage at all.

So this is kind of a weird one, I don't really do gray rocking so much. I'm pretty big on boundaries and expectations like adjusting, which is actually another tool, I will mention, adjusting your expectations of people who have these characteristics, realizing that they're not going to be able to provide for you in the way that you want that they're not going to be able to have true intimacy and really support you.

So adjusting that expectation and making peace with that, I think is the first step and then seeing how much you want to engage with them. And it's always tough with family because I know many of us like we don't want to cut off our family members. So just figuring out how to operate and navigate within this scenario.

But with gray rocking, it's really good with super manipulative and abusive people. But it's good to run it by a therapist or a coach and just get somebody else's opinion on it, because it is kind of an extreme way of responding. And definitely not my first choice, I would say it's kind of a last ditch resort. And if you find like gray rocking is causing you distress, then just don't use that. But I'm just giving it to you as an option today.

So that's it. Those are the personality disorders and traits and solutions and tools you can use. And I really hope that you take note of this episode, and maybe even make some notes on your notes app in your phone that you could go back to.

And you'll find it comforting when you can identify these traits and people who are close to you and act accordingly to protect your mental space, time and energy.

And as you do that, you're gonna find you're gonna have more peace of mind, more energy, and really enjoy this life and not get sucked into drama, not get sucked into other people's unhappiness. Because you've worked so hard to build this life and you want to be creating a happier and healthier life for your kids.

Because these personality disorders, they're not healthy for our kids either, even to over expose them to our family members who act like this, right? So we don't want to engage in this. We don't want to model it.

And this is how we do this work and get healthier for them so that they get to be even healthier than we are when they grow up. And so that concludes today's episode. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode 92: Embrace the Journey: Lessons for Busy Moms from a Working Physician

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses the importance of taking the time to appreciate the day-to-day, regular, mundane moments in your life in order to truly cultivate more presence and peace. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how soaking in your surroundings can help you keep yourself grounded and be more content with life. Tune in for more on this topic.

In this episode, you will learn how to:

Manage the common struggle of working mothers to stay present amidst their busy schedules.
Be present and enjoy life.
Embrace life as a journey and not just a series of achievements or goals.

Check out her free masterclass on how over-driven career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self-care in only five minutes a day.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 92. Hello there. Thank you so much for tuning in today to today's podcast episode of empowering working moms. And hopefully the weather is warming up near you. I know finally the sun is shining here. It was raining like crazy yesterday.

It has been an interesting week or so, maybe 10 days for me. My old au pair left, I was awaiting my new au pair, in between childcare, trying to work. And then I ended up having to move up carpal tunnel surgery. And that was going to be literally like the second day my new au pair was here. And then driving with her to make sure that she's safe to drive my kids. It's been pretty logistically crazy.

And that's what really inspired today's episode. Because really, so many times when we're at work, we're just obsessing over our to do lists, getting everything done, vacuuming with the Dyson, the crumbs, or signing our kids up for soccer. And then when we're at home, we're thinking about emails that we need to answer.

Or if you're a physician, you might have charts pending that you need to finish piling up and a backlog. And you end up just not being present. You're not present at home because you're thinking about work. You're not present at work, because you're thinking about home. And you're just missing out and you're stuck in this daily grind dread trap.

And this really happens because you're just so busy. And you're busy trying to keep up with everything in your life. And then you just end up falling behind and feeling like you're not doing good enough of a job. And then life is just really passing you by.

And so, this whole logistical the circumstances that were super annoying in these past 10 days, I just had so much to do, my to do list was really long. And well, I don't make to do lists. But you know what I mean, I had a lot to do.

And it was just really hectic. And so it really got me thinking about the fact that life is now, like it's happening right now. And the regular moments of our day to day lives are really what make it up. And yes, there are beautiful trips. There are memories we make that are really special, like the holidays.

But besides those, we've got our day to day life that we are lucky to wake up and be alive. And I say this because as a physician, I have seen so many elderly folks, and they're really sick. And they just wish they had more time and they're towards the end of their lives. And it's tough. So while we're here and we're still young, we get to decide what kind of life we want to live.

And that means that we learn to be present for the now and enjoy the journey. And I bring up this concept of the journey because it really is all about this journey. Life is a process. It's never going to be perfect.

And it's all about just being here. And when things go wrong, learning the lessons and being there with the turbulence, knowing that it's going to end and then you come out on the other side. And you are all good. You're resilient.

And I'm sure if you're listening to me and you're thinking, What the heck is she talking about? Like, I don't believe a word of this. I know you can reflect and think of times where you have bounced back and you were so strong.

Because you are a kick ass female and you work you are a mom and we are tough, we are so much tougher and stronger than we give ourselves credit for. So back to the journey. It's really about being here, being present, enjoying the now, and not sweating what's to come.

Because a lot of the time, what's to come isn't as bad as we assume. And we sit there worrying because we want to troubleshoot, we want to problem solve, we want to fix. And it's just a waste of time and energy. So then we drain ourselves but on top of the waste of time and energy, you end up missing out on what's right in front of you.

And so I'll give an example of this actually, this was happening today. So I got my new au pair and we always do a lot of test driving. I do the drive with my kids, getting on and off a kind of like a mini highway where I live, getting on and off, dropping my kids off, figuring out that route, watching are you putting your turn signal on, all those things.

Anyway. So, I go through that. This is my second time doing this with my new au pair. And I feel stressed a little bit because of course, I'm very protective of who drives my kids. They are young children, and they're my most precious cargo. And of course, we're all as mothers, right? We're not just let anyone drive our kids.

So it ends up making me always feel a little stressed and anxious. Right. So then I ended up getting this retired police officer to do a test drive and lesson test him out and give an objective assessment on how he thinks the au pair drives. And that usually puts my mind at ease, and helps to teach any driving skills that maybe they need some brushing up on.

So today, I went to an Easter egg hunt with my kids while my au pair was getting the lesson. And then after the Easter egg hunt, I took them to frozen yogurt. And that's all to say that during frozen yogurt, I knew that her driving lesson was coming to an end soon.

And I could find my mind wandering and thinking about oh, what is the driving teacher gonna say, is he going to say she's a good driver, is he gonna say she's not good, am I going to have to go in to re- all these things just, I could feel my brain going down that path.

And as my brain was going down that path, because I do this work, I'm able to notice that. So I pulled myself back into the present moment, I looked at both of my kids, because they're so cute. And they were enjoying their frozen yogurt so much. And I looked at each one of them.

And I thought this time is not coming back. And this is a really special time, the time that I get to take them for frozen yogurt. And some of the stuff just brings me to tears, the regular daily stuff, because here's the thing, and I'm not preaching about this, it's really the truth like. These are our lives people.

Like taking our kids to frozen yogurt, that's just a regular thing to do. But you know what, 20 years from now, when they are off at college, or they don't live with us anymore, we're going to be dying to spend time with them.

And they may not want anything to do with us. I believe it's sooner than that, actually, that people say that they're just not hanging out with us. Maybe in middle school. I don't know, my kids are young.

But that's it, watching them enjoy their frozen yogurt that mundane, boring, it's not so boring, though, just regular moment, that's what we get to soak in. That's what we get to be grateful for.

That's what we get to really be present for instead of sitting there and worrying about what the report is going to be about the au pair driving. Because regardless of the outcome of that report, I would figure it out, you would figure it out, we'd be fine no matter what, right?

So why bother worrying about that and missing out on the magic of the ice cream, or the frozen yogurt and the look on the kid's face, or my daughter has chocolate ice cream all over her lips. It's just really cute and adorable. And the enjoyment that my son shows. And I look at him. And I look at both of them. And I remember when they were newborns, and I just cannot believe how quickly time has flown by.

So just being grateful, being present, being here and now. Pulling yourself to the present moment by simply noticing what's happening around you, noticing what's happening right in front of you, and pulling yourself there instead of letting your mind wander.

Because believe me, you got this, whatever challenges come your way, you're going to be able to deal with it no matter what. And so that's the journey, the journey is here now.

Which also brings me to pointing out that we often are so used to going from one thing to the next and checking off one box, then getting to the next and the next. And we're always on to the next thing. And then we're sitting there thinking yeah, I'll be happy and satisfied when. I will be happy when I go on this vacation, I will be happy when my divorce is final, I will be happy when I got the perfect job.

And that's just not the case. The happiness is now. The happiness is appreciating all the beauty for what it is while it's happening. As opposed to thinking that a circumstance something that happens is going to solve all your problems.

It's not, and the sooner that we can realize that we are in control of our own thoughts, our own feelings, our own experience of life, this journey, the more empowering that is and that's how we end up enjoying our lives and being happy.

Okay, so in a world obsessed with outcomes and goals and the end game, it's so easy to overlook what's happening, where the real magic is happening, where we learn and we grow. And that is so beautiful, and the destination, where we're heading, which is really we're all heading to death, right? We're all gonna die someday. So we might as well just enjoy the time that we have.

And I know you might think that's easier said than done. But I will tell you that even in my darkest hours, and the most difficult difficult times in my life, especially in the beginning of COVID I would say from 2020 to 2022.

Even when I was pregnant with my daughter from 2020 to 2021, I would enjoy the fresh air outside and soak in my surroundings to keep myself happy, balanced, sane, whatever you want to call it. Even when I was struggling big time in my marriage and things like that. It was a very hard time.

But by being present, and really focusing on where I was at the moment, that is what allowed me to be well during a very turbulent time. So think about this. How often are we rushing through our days, we're just checking off the stuff on our to do list without really experiencing our life. And we're taking for granted the journey.

And instead, we can allow ourselves to be present and really savor the regular parts of life and find gratitude every single day. And gratitude is so important in just helping ourselves have a lens that is a little bit more rose colored.

And as we realize that we don't have to take life so seriously, we don't have to be so intense about everything, we can have a lot more fun, we can be more adaptable, we can be more flexible, we can be resilient. And this really helps build our sense of self and balance and stability.

And by really just taking hold of each day and appreciating it and taking things in your stride. And the thing is, there are always going to be curveballs that get thrown our way. A client was telling me how she was supposed to go to a party and then her spouse who's also a physician had to stay late at work. And then she had to do all this juggling, and eventually she got there.

But the point is that when those things happen, right, that's all part of the course, we make all these plans and we've got to learn to roll with the punches and be flexible and not freak out when things change when plans change, because that is life.

And we get to realize that sweating the small stuff, it doesn't really matter. And it is a waste of time. So I would just encourage you, I know you're ambitious. I know you're a go getter, I know you're getting stuff done left and right.

But I would really encourage you to slow down, stop and really soak in moments with your kids, holding your spouse's hand, the hugs, bedtime, whatever you enjoy. Looking at them while they're enjoying something, seeing the magic of whatever it is, kids get really excited about the tooth fairy or all these things.

And just being there. We're not going to remember half of the stuff that goes on anyway. But I know for me when I'm dying, I am going to look back and know that I did the best I could and I did my best to connect and be there with the people who mattered to me the most. And I highly encourage you to do the same.

Because that's what this is all about. It's our journey, learning to be present and really letting go of toxic stuff, toxic dynamics, we let go of our worries, we don't have to worry so much. It's just not worth it. And we can learn to have presence and connection and truly enjoy our lives.

So if you really want to dive deeper into this work and heal yourself from the inside out to truly find peace, happiness, joy in your life, and therefore we're going to create a happier and healthier next generation of kids.

Book a call with me PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. Thank you so much for tuning in, and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode 91: Unpacking the 'Not Good Enough' Syndrome: A Guide for Ambitious Women

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about the concept of not feeling good enough, which is an issue that many women struggle with. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can combat this type of mindset in order to create a more peaceful and joyful life. Tune in for more on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn about:

how perfectionism hurts us
workplace dynamics and gender roles
fear of failure and its impact
the deep-rooted 'Not Good Enough' Story
shifting perspectives and healing

Check out her free masterclass on how over-driven career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self-care in only five minutes a day.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 91. Welcome. Hello, how are you? I hope you are doing well today. I want to welcome you to today's podcast episode for all of you moms in demanding careers.

You've worked so hard to build this incredible life for yourself. And you probably are wishing that you didn't feel not enough or you feel the mom guilt, or you have impostor syndrome. And you don't want to have to be worrying about the next thing all the time.

And the problem is that most people are putting the needs of others in front of themselves or making decisions based off what other people think. All the hard work that you're doing is based on other people's needs more than your own, you're people pleasing. Or you don't realize that we can't control other people's opinions of ourselves, or what they're thinking. It's simply a waste of time and energy.

So how do you find peace of mind and joy? You can try therapy, yoga, self help books. But the question is, how can you find the right therapist or even get to and from the yoga studio, you probably don't have enough time.

So you can actually cultivate peace of mind with the practices that I talk about because of the ease, and there's just not a whole lot of time and energy required. And when most people think about making changes, they think that it takes a ton of time, or that you have to sit down for hours and hours to meditate to get peace of mind.

Even though with the methods I'm talking about today, you don't have to do that. And you can totally learn to be present, feel peaceful, be connected. Why? Because I have streamlined implementable processes. So if you're wondering how you find peace of mind, balance, presence, let me show you in this episode.

Today, I'm going to talk about the concept of not being enough or good enough. And I will tell you that you are enough, you are good enough. And Type A women, they hold themselves to perfect standards, which is totally impossible and only is going to lead us to being unhappy.

And we're conditioned to do this at such a young age where we are trying to impress our teachers, we're people pleasing when we're really little. We're trying to get 100% on tests or getting straight A's in school. You get a little bit older, it's competitive. You apply to college, then maybe graduate school like medical school.

In fact, I've actually seen that, apparently, I don't know this personally. But I've been told that it is worse to apply to private high schools than it even is college undergrad applications, which is crazy to me. And grades, test scores. That's a great way to get people spots in competitive universities, it's difficult to figure out without quantifying, but honestly, this really has created a society that expects perfection.

And don't get me started on medical malpractice lawsuits. Because physicians are human beings, they're going to make mistakes, and yet they're expected to be perfect all the time.

So some of the things that really contribute to our feelings of not enoughness is the high expectations that we place on ourselves, we're perfectionists. Type A people are just high achieving, competitive, and they set a standard for themselves that really is tough to maintain. And when they're not perfect, this leads to feelings of failure, which really isn't fun.

And women in particular might feel extra pressure to not just succeed in their careers but also meet society's expectations of their personal lives, meaning being married, having kids, doing all the stuff at home, doing the cooking, doing the cleaning.

Even in workplace dynamics, women often face challenges in the workplace as in gender bias, and often are given leadership positions not as soon as men. And these challenges make it harder for women to feel validated in their achievements.

Furthermore, you have internalized gender roles. Even as society evolves, women feel like they need to prioritize caregiving and relationships over personal achievement or maybe that's expected. And this can really lead to internal conflict and feeling inadequate at work.

So this brings me to, if you're always trying to be perfect, then really nothing you ever do is good enough and that feels bad. And the not good enough story and that narrative can be really deep from our childhood, or even other events.

And though others might look at me as a success, for example, so many times in my past I felt less than or not good enough. And I still struggle with that story, I have to keep myself in check, I got to do the work to make sure that I don't play into it all the time. So through working on myself, and really teaching these tools, I don't give that story nearly as much airtime as I used to, but it still comes up.

And I find the not good enough dagger is really stabbing, I get triggered pretty badly. And usually, when I feel triggered, it's a moment to examine what's really going on. And it helps me to figure out my patterns and therefore disrupt them.

And that's really how we start to ditch perpetuating generational trauma, by being aware of our own stories, being aware of our narratives, and making an active decision if we're going to play into them or not.

Because as we learn to not play into the bad narratives, the narratives that hurt us, we help to create a healthier next generation. That's really why we do this work. And I find my clients struggling with the same issues.

And when you have that not good enough story. You transpose it onto your life, and you start believing I am not a good enough of a mother, I am not good enough of a wife, I'm not good enough of a professional, I'm not good enough of a doctor, I'm not good enough of a lawyer, I'm not good enough of a friend, I'm not good enough of a community member, I'm not good enough of a neighbor.

And it is really a terrible lens with which to see yourself. So what do we do with this not enough syndrome? First, we get to see it for what it is, that it's just a story. It's just a narrative, it's just a mode our brain likes to operate under. And then we can get distance from it. When we see it and observe it, we don't have to play into it as much. So we notice it. And then we can neutralize it.

And if you have never heard this from me before, check out my episode on the three N method during which I talk about how to deal with any negative thought or feeling. And so you notice it, you neutralize it, you get your distance from it.

And then actually, the third step is new. You get to create new stories in any given moment, like I am enough, I am good enough, and start to see yourself at your core, like your core self, knowing that you are worthy no matter what, you are lovable no matter what. It's enough.

And asking ourselves, when it comes to not being good enough. What are we doing with our identity? Are we tying our identity to our achievements? Are we tying our identity to our net worth? Are you tying your identity to your career? Or what else might you be tying your identity to that maybe isn't helpful? And if so, we can acknowledge this, that that's our ego.

And really, attaching ourselves to our ego, these external kinds of things, it really only increases our suffering. And though it sounds dramatic, human suffering is universal. And this is a tenant in Buddhism. And it's just good to know because we will often create suffering in our lives without even realizing we're doing it.

So the more we can detach from the not enough story, the more we can detach from these concepts, the more we can really be one with our inner being, our core, our soul, whatever you want to call it, but really get in touch with ourselves beyond our egos. Not the ego of like, I think I'm great. The ego is the part of ourselves that really attach ourselves to external things, external achievements, external validation.

So the more we can detach ourselves from that ego, the more we can heal ourselves. And the more we do that, then we really cultivate inner peace, happiness. And what happens then? Well, we live happily ever after. Sort of, because there's always stuff to deal with.

And that's why it's so important to have these tools in your toolbox to work on, to deal with all of the adversity that will come your way. There are always challenges in life that may come up, right. So as we heal ourselves, we find peace and happiness and then it bleeds on to our kids, our spouses, our friends, our families, creating a happier and healthier family, a happier and healthier next generation, and truly a happier and healthier world.

And that's why putting some thought into this life is so important, not just to decrease our suffering, but really to create a better place in this world and really have a better next generation.

And if you want to dive deeper into this work, please check out my website stresscleansemd.com, and learn more about what I do. And if you are really feeling brave, book a call with me PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me to see if we are a good fit to work together.

If you're ready to take that action to step into the best chapter of your life yet, then let's do it. Find out if we're a good fit to work together. Thank you so much for tuning in. And I will talk to you next week.

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Episode 90: The Ultimate Guide to Weight Loss: Exercise Tips That Work

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses the vital topic of exercise and the vast benefits it can bring to your life. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can implement strategies for working out in a way that is manageable and realistic. Tune in for more on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

strategies you haven’t heard of before to create a consistent exercise routine
how to create a sustainable flexible work out schedule
the scientific and medical benefits of working out

Check out her free masterclass on how over-driven career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self-care in only five minutes a day.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 90. Hello. Welcome to this week's episode of the empowering working moms podcast-real talk with Dr. Prianca Naik, that is me. I am a board certified internal medicine physician, but most importantly, the mother of two beautiful children and motherhood changed everything for me.

And that's really what brought me to doing the deep work that I did to get here and then help others to do the same to really heal and do the work, heal from the inside out to create another generation that will be happier, healthier, our next generation, our kids that hopefully won't have to do as much healing because of this work.

So this work that we're doing here, inside overcome burnout for good is so much more than just ditching burnout and exhaustion, which it does, but truly having a ripple effect with our families.

So many of my clients have better marriages and a better connection with their kids. And this ripples out, right, but also it will have a generational ripple effect, too.

So today, I'm going to talk about the follow up to last week's episode on healthy eating nutrition stuff. So now I'm going to talk about working out. So I'm really going to teach you about how to finally get that workout routine under your belt. Because I myself hated exercising for the majority of my life. And then really, since my son was born, I've had a consistent workout routine for almost six years, even though most of my life I hated it.

And what most people do is really they're following society's standard of success personally and in their career, instead of really focusing on what would make them happy, or you're putting the needs of others above your own, putting yourself last. And all the hard work you're doing is based on other people.

And here's what happens if you're doing that. You're feeling exhausted, depleted, you're giving way too much at work and at home, nothing to yourself, you're in survival mode, and really just not doing what you want to be doing. Like working out, for example.

And there are so many ways to figure out how to get exercise going. But I'm going to give you my best way in this episode, I don't want to overwhelm you, so that you're finally getting time yourself to work out. So you have more joy more presents, you're gonna get the mental health benefits, peace of mind, and really feel better.

So before I get into strategies and how you're going to get more exercise into your life, I want to talk about the benefits of exercising, which includes increasing longevity, really healthy aging, because exercise is associated with a decrease in mortality.

So consistent exercise shows an increased lifespan and a lower risk of dying from age related diseases, which is awesome, right? That's what we want. And it really promotes healthy aging by maintaining physical function and really delaying the onset of chronic diseases.

And in fact, large observational studies suggest that regular exercise reduces risk of disease specific mortalities for most people, men and women, a wide variety of age ranges. And this is really seen across the board, different ethnicities, different income levels, different geographic settings, it is totally the same where physical activity is associated with lower risk of mortality.

So if that's not a reason to get your butt in the gym and exercising, I don't know what it is. Also exercise enhances muscle strength and endurance because working out stimulates muscle protein synthesis, so creating proteins, leading to more muscle strength and endurance which is so important for just daily living as you get older.

It also boosts our immune system. So it really helps us to make it easier to fight off an infection when we get sick. It's helpful in weight management, really burning calories and helps get your metabolic rate higher which helps with weight maintenance and weight loss.

Physical activity as you know probably releases endorphins, which are really feel good hormones and this helps our mental health So this reduces feelings of anxiety and depression while really boosting overall mood. And I will say, so my number one reasons for working out are improving my mental health. If I'm having a bad day and I work out, I just feel better after.

I find even that often I'm on my peloton, and when I'm on my peloton, my breath is quick. And I really have to focus on my breath to keep myself going. And it's almost like a meditation while I'm working out. And working up a sweat and getting my heart rate going, I just feel better.

And then the number two reason I personally exercise is for boosting confidence. I just feel more confident if I work out, I feel better about my body, I just feel good.

And then of course, the third reason is just all of the health reasons that I'm getting into now, which I'm going to add another one, it enhances cognitive function, because you're going to have better blood flow to your brain when you're exercising, you're opening up your blood flow in general, you're getting your heart pumping better. And you're going to help your aging process, decreasing cognitive decline.

Exercising also regulates blood sugar levels, which is awesome because it helps in regulating insulin. So it reduces insulin resistance, because you get insulin resistance in diabetes. Helps in glucose metabolism. So just sugar metabolism, which reduces the risk of type two diabetes.

And even if you're managing diabetes that you already have. Now, a lot of genetic factors play into this kind of stuff. But we can do things in our power, like working out to help change this. It also strengthens bones and joints.

And so when you're doing weight bearing exercises, even as simple as walking on the treadmill, where you got your bone on bone going. Not if you've got bad osteoarthritis of your knees, but that kind of training helps to increase bone density in men and women and really helps reduce osteoporosis, which is a condition that creates brittle bones and osteoporosis creates more fractures. And then that's a worsening mortality for elderly folks.

So things you can do to strengthen your bones and prevent osteoporosis are walking, running, lifting weights sometimes, depending on how much your joints are working on that. Not things like swimming, or even biking.

Another thing that exercise does is it improves your sleep quality, because regular physical activity is just going to tire you out, deepen your sleep, have you fall asleep better. And also, exercise improves cardiovascular health because regular physical activity strengthens the heart, therefore reducing blood pressure, improving circulation, like I mentioned in preventing cognitive decline, and thereby decreasing risk of cardiovascular disease.

Now, many studies have been done showing a strong inverse relationship between exercise and the risk of coronary artery disease. So the more you exercise, the less risk you have of heart disease, heart attacks, cardiovascular events, all that stuff that's pretty freakin scary, right?

And I'm just gonna get a little technical and medical in case you're interested. I think it's interesting, of course, because I'm a physician. But just so you know that we're not making this stuff up. Aerobic training induces beneficial effects on lipoproteins.

So lipoproteins means your LDL and your HDL, so it's going to increase your good cholesterol, decrease your bad cholesterol. And that's how you can help your cholesterol levels, which we know we want to maintain an LDL of around, let's say 100.

So physical activity is also associated with lower levels of inflammation. So if we did blood work on you and your CRP, which is an indicator of inflammation, you can look at that. And if you work out regularly, and you're healthy, probably that would be lower within normal limits, which is awesome. That means the body is less stressed. And you're also going to have just general well being, healthy body, all that stuff.

So just think about all of those effects and benefits that working out can have. Moving our bodies is so important. And if you think about this, what's happened to modern day is we've got sedentary jobs, we've got busy, hectic lives.

But naturally we are meant to walk around, right. Cars are all artificial constructs. But back in the day, cavemen were hunting and gathering foods. So they were out all day and that was their form of exercising. So now we have to be mindful of doing that, basically simulating. So if we simulate that, we're going to be forcing ourselves to exercise.

So you might ask, what do I know about this? And how am I coming to you today with a little bit of an off, beaten approach on exercise? So I mentioned this on last week's episode. But essentially, I was overweight as a child, probably from around 10 to 13. And then my weight fluctuated for a while until I hit my 20s.

And even in my 20s, I watched what I ate, I watched my diet, and I was able to maintain a healthy body weight, but I really never had a consistent workout routine. And funnily enough, when I was in residency, I would get on health kicks, and I would exercise but it would never last, right.

And then what ended up happening was, I really had to examine my life after my son was born, I just was so overloaded working as a full time physician. And then my most important work, my most important job is being a mother and realizing that being an anxious mess all the time just isn't an okay atmosphere for a child to grow up in.

So I started doing all the self care things, including exercise. And as I really stuck to it, and I found that it really helped my mental health, I just did it. And that was it. But what I found was making that commitment to exercise on a regular basis, it eventually became my identity.

So when you're deciding to exercise, you really have to see yourself holistically and see yourself as a healthy person, whether you are or whether you aren't. I'm healthy, I work out, and that's just what I do. So when you don't work out, that feels weird, not the other way around, right.

So when you know that I'm just a person who works out, that's just who I am. That's what you say to yourself, because the thoughts that we feed ourselves truly create our reality. So you get to embody the identity and speak to yourself in a way, that means I workout regularly. Okay, so it's an identity shift more than anything. That is the critical, crucial piece in this is embodying the identity of a person who's healthy of a person that works out.

Now some generalized principles on this, and then I'm going to give you really specific tools and tricks and tips to work out. The generalized things you can do is really, to ditch the all or nothing mentality. I think people, they have these crazy lofty goals, they go from not working out at all. And then some of my clients will even come to me telling me, hey, I want to work out for an hour a day, four days a week. And I say to them, that's really a lot to do when you're starting with zero. And it's just too much.

I mean, if you can do it, you can do it great. But I feel like when we set ourselves up for failure, we get discouraged. And then we're much less likely to actually carry out our goal. So ditching the all or nothing mentality and really embodying the something is better than nothing. So believe me, I'm human, you know, I'm definitely not perfect.

And on the days when I don't want to exercise, and I'm really sluggish, and I just don't feel like it, I will force myself to get on my peloton for 15 minutes or do some other workout for a really short period of time. And what I find is that after the workout, I feel better, and I'm proud of myself for doing something, because something is always better than nothing.

And there's always a compound effect of this kind of stuff over time, over months, over years, where your 80 year old self will thank you for doing the workout. And if all else fails, just take a five minute walk outside or run up and down the stairs for five minutes. That's all you have to do. Just a little bit is truly better than nothing.

And remembering with the identity piece, why you're doing the workout. So for me, I know I'm gonna feel better if I exercise and the aftermath of working out is helpful for me just to get going on days when I don't want to.

And really thinking about your longevity, your long term health goals and knowing that exercise is a part of that plan.

Now in terms of crafting routines, you really want to have some flexibility around this. It depends on your personality type, but I find the more rigid I am with my routine, the less I want to do it. So I started out exercising two to three days a week. Then it went from three to four days a week. Now it's at about four to five days a week, sometimes even six. Because the less pressure I put on myself the better I personally do.

So have some goals for yourself. You can start with one to two days a week for literally five to 10 minutes for those two times. You don't have to start with a half hour or 40 minutes. Something is always better than nothing. And you want to make it realistic and doable.

So one great thing you can do is you wear your workout clothes when you're feeling like working out so that you're going to work out. I have never put on workout clothes and not worked out. Maybe once in several years, it just doesn't happen.

So that's one thing, two is to do something at home. Having a gym membership is great, but it's a production, going to the gym, doing your routine and then driving home depending on how far it is. And the harder you make it for yourself, the less likely you are to do it. So you want to really get rid of any barriers between you and working out.

Have a few things that you find not totally terrible, not totally boring, and do those workout options. For me that really is either a workout video through my peloton app or getting on an actual bike, I find those doable, helpful.

And even actually, I was a member at this gym called lifetime and they had childcare so I could drop my kids off on the weekends. And I would go do my workout. And it was almost like a little ritual that we would all do. And it was nice because afterwards, my kids and I would go get food.

So you can find all kinds of ways to make it more appealing for you. Now, if you're lacking time or you're lacking motivation, the time lacking part, I think really start small, like five to 10 minutes, even a couple days, you don't have to do it every day. And that's it, you'll see that you can do it if it's a small goal. And then once you get a little bit of momentum, you will be able to find time and increase your time to do that.

Now motivation wise, it's always helpful to have an accountability partner or maybe someone that you could go on a run with or go on a walk with, be it your partner or a friend. That can be really helpful to keep people active.

Some other easy to follow tips are if you're a person who really lives by your calendar, schedule your workouts in. Involve your family, maybe all of you can go on a walk or bike ride or run. That makes it more fun, doable. And that way you don't even feel like you're taking away time from your kids.

My peloton is actually in my basement, which is also the children's toy area and they love going down there to play with their toys. So when I go downstairs to do my peloton workout, I can watch my kids at the same time and they're having fun. So that's all good.

Incorporating physical activity into daily tasks. Maybe even start as small as taking the stairs at work. Parking far away as long as it's not winter and icy to get in more steps. Embracing outdoor activities like a hike. Rest when you need, create some variety in workouts.

Also people love joining gyms and going to the workout classes, that can be a really fun way to make friends and create a sense of community. Create like a five minute workout rule if you're going to force yourself to work out for five minutes, and then after five minutes, you're not feeling it, you can stop.

You can pair it with TV shows. Let's say I know Gretchen Rubin on her podcast happier she does it with her sister and her sister's a type one diabetic has to exercise. So her sister only lets herself watch The Real Housewives if she's on the treadmill. Otherwise, she's not allowed to watch it. So her incentive is to have that paired activity like her guilty pleasure, like the Real Housewives. And she will only do that when she's exercising.

Find your optimal time to work out when it works for you. For some people, that's first thing in the morning. For me, it tends to be in the afternoon or early evening after I'm done with work. But before it's time to spend time with my children, that is my optimal time. First thing in the morning for me doesn't work.

It's different for everyone, but really figure out a time that you can stick with. And maybe you could even depending on what time you have, you could do five minutes in the morning and then 10 minutes at work, take a walk. If you've got a lunch break or something at work, you can do that. And even if you can't make time to work out or go to the gym, but you set an intention to exercise.

You could do something small like work with resistance bands, you could do some body work where you're doing, let's say core exercises, stretching, yoga, a quick walk. And also one of the most important things in all this is to really keep a positive mindset and congratulate yourself.

Be proud of yourself when you complete a workout. That is awesome because you're doing awesome just to do a little bit of it. And truly finally, embrace consistency over perfectionism. It's so important to be consistent over weeks, months, years.

And it feels so good to really look back and think about all the time you've been working out. Because if you have a consistent routine you are going to see, and especially eventually when you're older, feel the benefits of all of the things I mentioned in the beginning of the episode.

Now, I want you to remember that your journey is unique to you. Working out is really not just for weight loss and having a fit body, which that's part of it. And it also helps to maintain body weight. But it's really more about your identity, how you feel.

And finding what works for you, having flexibility and just having compassion for yourself when you're trying to make these changes. And have fun. It's so important to not be so intense and take life so seriously, because we are really good at that as moms in demanding careers.

And if you find yourself having this successful career that you're proud of, but you're feeling guilty almost every day because you're just not showing up for your family or even for yourself in the way that you want.

Or you're really weighed down by stress and anxiety every day because every hour bleeds next at work and the next thing you know it's time to go home do more work and there's always more work piling up or a mess to clean in the kitchen, lots of crumbs. Maybe you have a Dyson vacuum.

But you find yourself just working your tail off and somehow your life just isn't where you want it to be. And you've probably tried therapy or counseling, it helped for a bit, you're not feeling better. Or you've tried grocery delivery apps to have better time management skills. You've downloaded meditation apps and you just don't have the time to meditate.

And you still find yourself just depleted exhausted, burning out, then really book a call with me, PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. The link is in the show notes. Talk to me because I've helped so many moms just like you. Call me to see if we are a fit to work together and to see if I can help you too. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode 89: Mastering Healthy Eating and Diet Strategies for Lifelong Wellness, Weight Loss, and Maintenance

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about how you can cultivate a way of life that is sustainable and how to lose or maintain your weight without feeling restricted. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about three tips to help you navigate healthy eating habits that are realistic and obtainable. Tune in for more on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

The five mistakes most people make when "dieting."
To navigate nutrition in the sustainable way.
How healthy eating can be a way of life that is flexible and maintainable.

Check out her free masterclass on how over-driven career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self-care in only five minutes a day.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 89. Well, hello there, welcome to the empowering working moms podcast. I am so glad to have you here listening with me today,

I want to talk about something that is like a pretty hot topic, I think amongst working moms, which is nutrition and healthy eating habits if you want to lose weight or maintain your weight, and it just gets harder as we get older.

So a lot of people think that by like dieting, and following strict diets, that's the best way to lose weight. But if that were true, then everyone who's on a diet would be losing weight. And we just know that's not the case. Sometimes you can watch what you eat, and you feel like the scale isn't moving.

So a lot of mistakes that people make with dieting is that they have like an all or nothing attitude, they maybe follow something really strict, and then they throw their hands up in the air about the diet. They treat it as like super black and white or good or bad. Certain foods or being really rigid, which I think can be really overwhelming and exasperate the issue.

And then oftentimes, a lot of people, I think don't take into account liquids, or even alcohol is high in calories, including a glass of wine with dinner, let's say.

And so these are some of the mistakes that people make when they're trying to lose weight or maintain their weight. And really, the solution to this is learning to cultivate and embody a way of life that is sustainable and doable. The majority of the time, you don't have to be perfect by any means. But just something that you can practice about 75% of the time.

And with that you can most certainly maintain your weight. And I say this as somebody, who I was an overweight child, and I was probably overweight by about 30 pounds in middle school, and I yo yo dieted as a teenager, and my weight really fluctuated, probably until I hit medical school.

And then I really started learning more about nutrition and my body and how to eat properly and was able to live that way more than just following diets and restricting for a short period of time. And I would say I've maintained relatively the same weight for about maybe like 20 years now.

So I want to share with you everything that I've learned. And with my medical background and my own personal experience, I'm going to teach you today about how to really maintain your weight, or even lose weight without totally feeling restricted, and in a more manageable, sustainable way.

So I'm going to talk about three of my favorite ways of eating. And I'll be honest with you that I play around with all three of these. And I don't necessarily do one all the time. I more or less follow one or three of these methods several days a week. And then often on the weekends on Saturdays or Sundays or if I'm going out to eat, I indulge more.

So the first way of life that you can do to lose weight or to maintain your weight. Or also just if you go on vacation, or you have a few days where you're eating and drinking poorly. And you want to do a reset, one of the best things to do is an intermittent fast. So this is really just really an idea of getting your body into fasting.

And so the best way to do this is to fast for 16 hours and then eat during an eight hour window. So you can do this for let's say five days. And then for a couple days, you don't necessarily have to follow this. So you can also start slow and really just do this for 12 hours to start. So let's say you stop eating at 8pm.

And then you go to bed at 10. You wake up at 6am. For the first two hours, you can fast. And I will tell you I actually don't do this 100%, I cheat and I drink coffee. And then once I drink coffee, I feel settled. This isn't like a perfect fast by any means. And then I will eat for the hours allocated like 16 hours I'll fast and then I'll eat. And there are times when I might have to break the fast earlier depending on how I'm feeling and that's totally fine.

And I think that's really what I want to bring to your attention today is having flexibility, lacking the rigidity that makes a lot of these diets. It really is a way of life but making it so that you can give yourself grace, you don't have to be all or nothing. And you really just practice doing these things and have consistency. And it's okay if you mess up or it's okay, if you have a less than perfect day, you just start over at any time that you want.

And one of the benefits of intermittent fasting is really just allowing you to probably consume less calories just because it's over a less amount of time. And you're going to improve insulin sensitivity. So for those of you who you're borderline diabetic, or you've got your hemoglobin A1C, which is a measure in the bloodstream, which tells us that people have diabetes. If it's maybe higher than you want it to be, and you feel like you're having a little bit of insulin resistance, this is really helpful in protecting against type two diabetes, really improves that insulin sensitivity.

And it helps to support cell repair processes. Because during these fasting periods, cell maintenance of health is their best time to really repair. And you get an increase in the brain hormone, BDNF, brain derived neurotrophic factor, which really may aid in the growth of new nerve cells and is believed to protect against Alzheimer's. So that's pretty cool.

And in general, fasting has been shown to really increase lifespan and longevity. So you can do a couple different ways. You can fast for 16 hours and only eat during an eight hour window. You can eat normally for five days a week, and then really limit calorie intake very severely on two days, which I don't like as much.

And so I recommend the first way, which is the 16 hour fast, including when you're sleeping, and you can always gradually build up to that. And you want to make sure that you drink a lot of water. And if for any reason at all, you feel weak or dizzy or you're not feeling well, you may need to adjust your fasting window, not make it so long, you want to talk to your health care provider.

And this episode is definitely not specifically medical care, though I am a medical doctor, I'm not your doctor, but I am just giving information and tips that you can follow. And of course, the key in all of this is consistency and patience, and giving yourself grace if you're not doing it perfectly, really you just try this see it if you like it, do it. And then you can adjust it as you need.

So for me, I don't do intermittent fasting every single day. I especially will do it if I have an indulgent period of time. Like this past weekend was my son's birthday party, I had family in town, we were going out to eat a lot. So this week, I will attempt to do the intermittent fast several days. Or if I come back from vacation, I will do the intermittent fast for several days. But by no means do I do it every single day or religiously.

I stagger the different kinds of ways I practice my eating. And it's great because it keeps things fresh. But it also really helps me maintain a good body weight. But I will say as well. Exercise is really wonderful and important. And it helps boost your endorphins. And I can definitely do a different episode on exercise stuff.

But I used to actually hate exercise and for the past five years, I've consistently exercised first it was like two to three days a week, then three to four days a week. And now it's usually five days a week. But that is helpful, more than even in weight loss just in cardio protective health in blood flow to all of your organs, blood flow to your brain, decreasing dementia, increasing longevity, and of course, maintaining a healthy body weight.

Now the second way of life, which I guess I really like to call these way of life more than diets. The second option is the Mediterranean diet because it's really not super restrictive and it's very practical and easy to follow. It's mainly fruits and vegetables, which you're gonna get a lot of antioxidants, fiber, vitamins that you need, whole grains like whole grain bread or couscous, which also gives you fiber and nutrients.

And then healthy fats like olive oil or nuts and seeds, and avocado for example, legumes like beans, lentils, chickpeas, and fish and seafood. And in terms of meat, poultry is really preferred over red meat you can have a little bit of red meat, a little bit of sweets, but really limited, and eggs and cheese and yogurt as well in those.

So it's really extensive and that's why you can do it without really feeling like you're on quote unquote diet. And the benefits of this are really you've got the heart health because it's really great for reducing risk of heart disease, managing weight. A

gain, also with diabetic prevention and control and all of the anti inflammatory and antioxidants in this food may really help reduce inflammation or even prevent risk of cancer because you've got these lovely

antioxidants helping your body.

And so this is extremely easy to follow. And really, if you want to do it, I would say do it the majority of the week and learn to practice that and see how it goes for you because it's very easy to do in like social settings. And it's so simple to follow that it's a great lifestyle to have.

And now my third option is probably the most well known option, which is the low carb diet. And that's really great for diabetic prevention, it decreases inflammation, it's really good for your skin. Because carbs are really inflammatory, they can increase acne, or even dandruff like seborrhea dermatitis. And so low carb is a great way to go. It's even helpful in preventing heart disease.

So I think the most important thing with knowing low carb stuff is it's not just obvious things like sugars and desserts, and chocolate, and let's say sugary juices. But it's also really most things that are white, like rice, or pasta, or bread. And now these are not necessarily things that you have to stop altogether. But really being mindful of how you're consuming your carbohydrates.

And some of the carbs I really like, are like, if you like bagels, for example, an English muffin, like half an English muffin is just lower in calorie, low carbs. It's the really dense carbs, like a bagel, there's so much denseness in there, that's gonna have more carbs than a lighter, like more air in there, which is like an English muffin, for example, right? So you can make those kinds of choices where you're like, oh, well, I'm not gonna have a bagel, but I'm gonna have an English muffin.

Or if you're going to have pasta, you really have to know that a serving size of pasta, you want to have about half a cup. And that's not what is served when you go out to eat. That's not how much you're going to take. And you really want to try and keep it to half a cup if you're eating, things like that.

So that's one easy way to really lose weight is the low carb, high protein, high healthy fats diet slash way of life, but it's also not very fun. So I think that the low carb way of life, you can definitely do multiple days, and you could stagger it with the other two. That way, it's just more doable.

So you can kind of play around with what you like in terms of that. And you just want to replace high carb items with lower carb items you can try let's say like cauliflower rice, instead of white rice, you can do a little bit of meal prep with veggies. And really make sure not to put sugar in your drinks or drink high sugary sodas and monitor how you're feeling. And everybody feels differently.

But really, I think once you get over the first hump of reducing carbohydrates and eating high protein, more veggies, a little bit of cheese, let's say, you're going to feel full, and you're going to feel better. Because carbs are really pro inflammatory, we often will have like a sugar crash after having sugar.

And I'm not saying you can't indulge in carbohydrates or sugar, just keep it to like 20% of the time. And then let's say 80% of the time you follow the low carb diet. And I know the Atkins diet, which was super popular in the 90s is a no carb diet. And that is pretty miserable.

But that actually is one of the easiest, fastest ways to lose weight because you put your body into ketosis. And even though you're eating protein, and let's say fats, your body still goes into a starvation mode. So that's if you're really looking to lose a ton of weight. But in my opinion, it's not sustainable over the long run.

So when you're picking these lifestyles and making these choices in your eating, keep in mind that really the most important thing of all is to be consistent. Play around with them, mix and match them. You don't have to do one thing every single day.

You can see what works for you. You give yourself grace and be kind to yourself. If you quote unquote mess up your diet, you can start that day to do better or the next day. And you just keep at it. And eventually if you practice all of these ways of eating and ways of life, they really eventually just become you and it's not so much that you're going on the diet and off the diet and on the diet and off a diet, etc.

And if you're in a sedentary job where you're working from home, really make sure you move your body, you get out, you take a walk at the very least or you do a workout because when you're just sitting around there aren't very many calories burned. Although we do burn calories with various activities, even using our brains, but you just want to move your body as well.

So if you like this, let me know, leave a podcast review. And if you are like many of my clients who are burned out, they've been exhausted, and through working with me they've learned to enjoy their lives and truly find peace of mind, heal themselves from the inside out so that we have a healthier generation of kids because we've got a healthy generation of parents. Book a call with me PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. Thank you so much for tuning in today and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode 88: How to Make Friends as a Working Mom

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses how powerful human connection is and debunks the myth that all relationships must last forever. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can do what is right for you without feeling guilt or shame in order to cultivate more joy and peace. Tune in for more on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

The importance of tribe and connection and how you can cultivate them
How to prioritize your well-being
How to make peace with relationships that no longer work

Check out her free masterclass on how over-driven career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self-care in only five minutes a day.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 88. Hello, thank you for being here and listening to this podcast today.

I am so grateful to have you here. If you're new to this podcast, welcome. And thanks for joining. If you are a faithful listener, I so appreciate that you're listening.

And if you can, I would love it if you would drop a review of this podcast. And let me know what you think because it's so helpful. And it will help reach others, so they get the stories, the connection and the tools.

So today, I'm going to talk about a couple of things that came up, really the power of human connection. But the reason I'm bringing up this topic today is because I'm in this entrepreneurial network, and a conversation came up during which people were talking about how certain relationships are meant to come to an end.

And I found that so profound, because I think often we are taught that relationships are supposed to or should be a certain way. And that way really is lasting forever.

So I'm really gonna dive into that topic today. And if you are a professional mom, you've got a successful career that you're proud of daily, but you're filled with guilt, because you're just not showing up for your family in the way that you want. Or you just can't be present for the moments that matter.

And your brain is always spinning in a million directions, thinking about your to do lists at work and at home. If that sounds familiar to you, please check out my brand new on demand masterclass. How overdrive and career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self care in just five minutes a day, the link is in the show notes.

Now, in terms of human connection, really, it's friendships and relationships that often connection makes us feel fulfilled, it boosts our happiness. And it's so important in our overall sense of well being.

And where this really comes from is our sense of tribe, because tribe really refers to belonging to a social group of individuals, right, who have things in common, and they help each other. And this was so important, especially pre historically, humans were living in small nomadic groups relying on cooperation, working together, mutual support for survival.

And so this was critical for survival. And if you take this evolutionary development, you can see how for us, we still want that same connection. The early tribes were closely connected by familial ties, and hunting and gathering and protecting each other from threats. And now that we don't need to be we can go to the grocery store for our food. And it's not quite the same, we still require that connection.

So I bring this up, just so that you know that this is why we crave connection. But on the other hand, we've also been sold and told the idea that a lot of relationships have to last forever. For example, marriage is supposed to be forever.

You're supposed to get along with your family. You're supposed to get along with your mom and dad. You're supposed to get along with your sibling. You're supposed to have friendships that lasts forever. And that is wonderful, right, when it works out. There are two people that create all relationships.

And sometimes relationships just cannot last forever. Sometimes they are meant to be in your life for a certain amount of time. And I want to talk about that today. Because I feel like that can take the pressure off and give us tremendous relief when our relationships don't live up to society's standards.

Because these standards are what cause us suffering because we believe that we should be doing things a certain way. We believe that if our marriage ends or if a friendship ends, that we're failing.

And I know if you're a mom who's in a demanding career, you're type A, you're a perfectionist. I know that you are probably considering yourself a failure when things aren't picture perfect.

But remember, just because society has trained us to think a certain way, just because we are pressurized for things to last forever or for relationships to be a certain way. That does not mean that we have to internalize that. That does not mean that we have to agree.

We can actually have our own take on relationships and decide if we want them. Decide if they're healthy and give ourselves grace and forgive ourselves if there are relationships that we don't want to be a part of. And maybe other people or society is frowning upon that, right?

So, on one hand, we've got this need for human connection. But on the other hand, they don't have to last forever. So this concept of the tribe, it's really talking about our innate need for connection and belonging. Whether it is from our ancestors who were in tribes, even now, finding a sense of community and like minded individuals and people for your group is so important.

And have you ever noticed that when you do meet people who are on the same page as you, or like minded people, how fulfilled you feel, how supported you feel, how connected you feel, right. And so, that's so important. So it's wonderful to make those connections.

And I have been really doing this, in the last few years, I have been, I guess, you could say shaking up my life a bit, I definitely have a lot of old friendships, and I foster those, especially the ones that mean a lot to me.

And there is something really special about friends that you've known forever, because there's a certain amount of safety you feel or you just feel like they know you or they knew you at a different time. And it's very comfortable. It's like your created and chosen family.

So there's that. So I foster those. But I've also really been getting out in my own community. Meeting like minded women, meeting more people like networking a bit more, and just trying to surround myself with people who think like me. Because, it's important for us in our own personal development, growth or journey to feel like we're not alone. It's important for us to, I mean, we really are who we surround ourselves, by and with.

So that also is crucial in our sense of fulfillment, belonging. So that's all to say that, it's great to be open minded and make new connections that maybe fit you better than some of your older friendships and perhaps, dial back on certain friendships that maybe you're outgrowing. And that's okay. You don't have to feel guilt, you don't have to feel shame. You can feel sad. I think change is really hard. And we can have grief for things that change.

But just giving ourselves, just some leeway, and being easy on ourselves for, let's say, choosing not to put a ton of pressure on certain relationships on the forever part. Right? So think about marriage, right? Nobody goes into marriage thinking that they're gonna get a divorce, most people don't, I don't think.

And our society really pressurizes us to stay married. And a lot of times people have really toxic situations, it's detrimental to their mental health or physical health. And if they have children together, or there are kids in that environment, it's horrible for children to grow up in an unhealthy environment. And those kids can often act out and have a lot of issues themselves.

So nobody talks about that part, the part where, yeah, marriage is a serious commitment. And anybody who's married, it makes sense, they put all the work they can to keep the marriage together. But if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. And that's okay. It's totally okay.

You don't need other people's approval, to know what's right for you. Or even a friendship where maybe you've been friends for 20 years, and something isn't sitting right or that's just not the kind of person you want to surround yourself with. That's okay too, to not put a ton of time and effort into that friendship.

Or even familial relationships that perhaps you wake up and you realize, hey, this is dysfunctional, these patterns are not healthy, like this is not okay. You don't have to be best friends with your parent or your sibling or whomever else in your family. You don't have to force yourself to do that. It's okay to find distance, it's okay to have friends who even function as your family. Right?

So as we can give ourselves grace to distance ourselves from unhealthy patterns, even if society generally doesn't support us in that, it's totally okay. There are a lot of dysfunctional things that go on in society. I think we can all agree on that, right. So I want you to while you listen to this to feel supported in doing whatever is right for you. Right.

So friendships as well. You don't have to foster friendships that aren't working for you as much anymore. If there are things you don't want to go to, gatherings and they're not aligning with who you are today. You don't have to go. We don't have to feel so guilty about everything all the time, like it's okay to live a life in alignment with who we are.

Because as we continue to do that, as you grow, you're going to be happier and more fulfilled. And that in turn has a positive ripple effect on your own family, on your kids, on those around you.

So there's nothing wrong with calling it quits with certain things or dialing back. And that's all juxtaposed or the background of that, right, is our need for tribe, which is why I talked about that in the beginning. We do need that connection.

And so that connection and feeling supported is crucial for our well being, perhaps even our survival in some ways. And it's okay if you want to make new connections or do something different. I find I try to be really open about meeting new people, and it usually steers me really well.

So this episode, the intention really is to let you know that whatever you're deciding in your relationships is totally fine any which way. You don't need to feel guilty or feel pressured by society's standards because it really just creates more sadness and suffering for us. So I'm so grateful that you tuned in today.

And if you really want to learn more and dive deeper into this work, and ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self care, without the therapy, without self help books but with proven processes that work.

Book a call with me, PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. I would love to talk to you see where you are and if you're a good fit to work with me if I can help you. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode 87: The Top 10 Ways to Let Go and Find Peace

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about the importance of letting go and how it can serve to greatly improve your quality of life. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you, as a professional mom in a demanding career, can learn to truly let go of things such as perfectionism and guilt in order to create peace for yourself. Tune in for more on this topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

The importance of self-love and its impact on both personal and professional life.
How to let go in order to ditch burnout.
To release attachment to outcomes and be in the present moment.

Check out her free masterclass on how over-driven career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self-care in only five minutes a day.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 87. Welcome. Welcome to the empowering working moms podcast real talk with Dr. Prianca Naik, that is me, your podcast host, I'm so glad you're tuning in today.

I'm recording this a little bit after Valentine's Day, which was literally one of my favorite Valentine's in such a long time. And it got me thinking about how important this work is, and just how loving ourselves is one of the keys to a peaceful, happy life. And by loving ourselves, we set an awesome example for our children to love themselves too.

And I was thinking about really what love is, and how love in its purest, truest form, is simply unconditional. And if you are not sure of what love is, I encourage you to really think about how your children behave towards you, especially if they're young.

And that is love in its purest form. Your kids love you just for being you. And there's no rhyme or reason to it. And it is the most beautiful thing. And so today I'm about to talk about the concept of letting go. Because most people have been following society's standard of success personally and professionally, instead of asking themselves, what would make them happy.

Or a lot of working moms, whether you're working hard in your career, or even working hard at home, you're always putting the needs of other people in front of your own. So like the hard work that you're doing is based off other people's perceptions and needs more than what you want. And here's what happens if that's what you're doing.

You're going to feel exhausted not getting enough sleep, too much work at home and too much work at work, you're going to feel depleted. Because you're giving at work, you're giving at home, and then you feel like you have nothing left to give. Or even if you are in survival mode, where one day bleeds into the next. I call it the daily grind dread cycle where every day is just like Groundhog's Day.

And you just can't tell the difference between days, especially during the week, and you just want to get through it. Or even having no time where you're busy all the time, over extended. And that just leaves you feeling depressed and unfulfilled.

And so there are really five ways of getting out of this and getting out of burnout and exhaustion. And I'm going to actually give you one of my favorite ways today. So that you don't get overwhelmed I can't teach you everything inside my program.

But you will be able to be more present with your family and kids and have a better connection with them. Really cultivate more peace of mind get better work life balance, and even hours back each week of your time and your energy. So to truly understand the crux of letting go, we need to understand that it's not really just letting go of physical things like decluttering or the Marie Kondo method.

It's about letting go of the mental load and emotional weight that we feel day to day because we've got that to do list that really causes us so much grief at work, at home. And the thing about the to do list and I have previous episodes on what to do regarding the to do list, but the to do list is never ending and it always has more stuff piling on. So it's not satisfying.

And frankly, most of us are type A enough that if you let the to do list go, you'll see that you're gonna get everything done anyway. So we find ourselves just overwhelmed with obligations, expectations, and a lot of them we create ourselves, struggling to maintain that balance. So letting go really allows us to free up mental space, prioritize our well being, and get our inner peace back amidst all of the details of day to day life.

And it's really a conscious choice to release things that don't serve us, to release attachment to outcomes, which I know is so much easier said than done. I know one of my senior partners and he's somewhat of a mentor to me, he told me long ago, like you do your best and then you detach from the result which I found really mind boggling. This was several years ago. But he was so right. And really surrendering to the natural, just having more flow in your day with grace and acceptance.

So I'm going to talk a little bit about the benefits of letting go because I think it's important to understand why we let go. And then I'll give you some actual practical tips to do that. So, in the short term, we can really be liberated and unburden ourselves from negativity and self doubt. And really feel so much more free.

And this really allows us to navigate life's challenges so much more easily when we can just let go. Because remember, the only thing we can really control is ourselves. We can't control circumstances, we can't control things around us. We can control what we think, what we do, and how we react to things.

And there's so much power in that control. But then when it comes to all the other elements, we really have to work on releasing and letting go. And as we let go, we really clear up so much more space, in our minds as we're letting things that don't serve us or just are bothering us, letting go, it creates so much more peace.

And as we practice, we can get better and better at it and really release attachment to the beliefs and patterns that maybe are not helping us. And of course, physically, if you declutter, letting go just creates a more peaceful, clean environment.

I'm going to give you the top 10 takeaways from the book letting go–the pathway of surrender by Dr. David Hawkins, because the entire book has multiple chapters on letting go. I've read many parts of it, I didn't read the whole thing, because it's pretty dry.

But here are some things that he talks about, that I think are so useful for us to put into action. And so letting go is really liberating. Because we release attachment to outcomes. And then surrender to the present moment, which really helps us to be present with our thoughts and our feelings. Present with the sadness. Present with the negativity, without resisting or trying to control it. Because the more we resist, it will persist. I'm sure you've heard that saying, but it's true.

As opposed to just letting yourself feel the negative feelings and allow yourself to be where you are. And then once you allow yourself to be there, you can let go. And so emotional release is exactly that, processing your emotions, feeling them, and then you're without judgment, without resistance, and then you can more easily let them go.

And also, how much power there is in forgiveness. So forgiving is a big way to let go, you just let go, especially if someone apologized to you, but they don't have to. You forgive in order to create peace for yourself. And I think the most important person to forgive really is yourself for any harm you may have brought upon yourself or decisions that you made that you feel like you were not in integrity with yourself or you didn't have your own back.

And also just detaching from the ego. Because really, not to get too philosophical, philosophically Buddhist here, but our attachment, our ego, which is really just our sense of self. And it's not even real, the ego, or our sense of self, it's something that we create. So detaching ourselves from our ego can really help us to be so much happier and less frustrated. And really letting go to practice patience and allow things to just happen.

And I find the greatest teachers of patience are my kids, in so many ways. Even something simple like at bedtime, they'll be dilly dallying, and then I find myself feeling a little nervous and anxious that they're cutting into my relaxation time after they go to bed.

I want to have time to unwind before I sleep, and then I have to go to sleep at a certain time because they automatically wake up at 6:30. And then I need a certain amount of sleep and so on and so forth. And then the brain is just spinning out.

But what I find so fascinating is young children really have no concept of time, they don't care, they will just do whatever. And they're fine, like they're very happy. And so it's definitely something we can think about doing more of. And I think it would make us happier if we learn to let go of some of those constructs that we create.

And so here are some major ways in which we as professional moms, moms, in demanding careers, can let go. We can let go of perfectionism. Because I think that is one of the biggest, it has gotten us so far, right, in our careers.

But it is really a thief of joy. So really letting things go in that sense, like letting go of the perfectionism, not trying to be perfect. Realizing that you're human and you're gonna make mistakes and especially letting go of perfectionism in parenting because we're just never going to be the perfect parents as much as we want to be and being able to fess up even and apologize to our kids.

If we raise our voice or do something, maybe that's less than perfect, and we can be open and honest about that. And I think that kids do really appreciate that. And that allows them to also realize that it's okay for them to make mistakes.

So another way to let go is to really let go of our guilt for maybe working too much, or having too much on our plate or whatever else it is. And just realize that we're doing the best we can. And we are the perfect parents for our kids. Like, I believe that kids choose us. And their little spirit chooses the home to be in. So that always brings me tremendous comfort.

And letting go of toxic dynamics, relationships, or friendships that maybe have reached their course and are no longer serving us. I think that that is something that really lightens our mental load and can really create more simplicity for us.

So by releasing toxic relationships, toxic ties, we create space for a healthier, more nourishing connection. We create space and time for new, healthier friendships and relationships.

And now I'm going to give you 10 practical strategies to really learn to let go every single day. So you can use these in everyday life.

And one is practicing mindfulness and really being in the present moment to get that clarity and inner peace. So that means centering yourself, or focusing on your breath when your mind is wandering, or you're perseverating on something that you know isn't healthy for you.

Cultivating self compassion and forgiveness for ourselves. And also that ends up bleeding on to other people. Number three is to set clear boundaries to protect our time, energy, and emotional well being. And I've talked about this on a recent episode. So if you haven't listened to that, check it out.

The next is to embrace flexibility and really release the need for control outside of ourselves. Because we don't have any control over other people and any thought that we do is just a simple delusion, we just can't, right. And really leaning into the natural flow of life.

Five is to declutter physical and mental space. So letting go of unnecessary possessions. And also letting go of thoughts and beliefs that really don't help us, don't serve us. Six is to really focus on what we can control and release attachment to outcomes beyond what we can influence. Seven is to embrace imperfection, and really allow ourselves to be human.

Eight is to let go and stop whining ourselves so tightly, and enjoy and celebrate everything, big and small, birthdays, holidays, progress, growth, festivities, all of that. Nine is to cultivate gratitude and appreciation for the blessings in our lives, really everything that's going well for us. Thinking about all of the dreams that we've made come true, but also on a smaller day to day level.

Being able to acknowledge what we can be grateful for every day, even if it's simple, like having hot water, a roof over your head, your health. Those are all things that we take for granted. And it's important to focus on those to really help us to feel abundance, contentment, and also let go of the small stuff because the more we focus on what's going right, the more that we can let go of what's going wrong.

And really the last but not least is radical acceptance. So really accepting what is and not fighting that. Embracing reality, without judgment, without resistance. And the more we can just kind of accept where we are. And I'm not saying you have to accept bad treatment or accept less from yourself than you want but just accepting that that is where you are right now.

And that you're always growing, learning, and changing, and developing, and moving towards where you want to go. So letting go of fighting with what is and I know that this really allows for a deeper sense of peace and contentment.

So that is this week's episode. I hope you enjoyed it definitely practice one of the 10 things that I talked about and see how it will completely change your life. And if you want to dive deeper into some of this, check out my free brand new on demand masterclass. How over driven career moms can ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self care in only five minutes a day.

So the link for that is in the show notes. Check it out. I just recently redid this masterclass. It's awesome. You don't want to miss it. Take some time. It's about 35 minutes. Make sure you have time to watch it and take notes. Check it out link below in the show notes. Thank you so so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week

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Episode 86: Creating Balance Between the Beauty and Challenges of Working Motherhood

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses the very important topic of one’s relationship to motherhood and how to face the dichotomy between being a mother and balancing an identity outside of motherhood. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how self-care is not always the answer to burnout and exhaustion for working moms, despite common belief. Tune in for more on this topic.

In this episode, you will learn to:

Ditch the ‘Daily Grind Dread Cycle’ with the practices from this episode.
Balance work and motherhood to find fulfillment.
Combat mom guilt through practicing mindfulness, reframing perfectionism, and embracing one's humanity.
Heal and grow through understanding the complexities of motherhood.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 86. Hello there. Thank you so much. I'm so glad to have you here today. Welcome to this podcast, empowering working moms real talk with Dr. Prianca Naik.

I will say that February in the northeast, it's a time for realizing that spring is around the corner and the cold days are going to leave us relatively soon. We're not so much in the dead of winter anymore. And I noticed that it got dark a little bit later yesterday. So I was really pumped about that. The Long Dark days can be really kind of tough.

So I'm sure you as a working mom in a demanding career, I'm guessing you've been told that self care is the absolute answer and antidote to burnout and exhaustion. But what most people never realize is that so many moms, in demanding careers are getting mani pedis, they're still exhausted.

And you make the time to get the massage and it does not work. And if that happens, what is going to happen to you? What's going to happen your exhaustion? Is self care really the answer? Well, no. It's really being aware of the problem and deciding to do the work, the work to heal. Instead of bandaiding like self care.

In my coaching program overcome burnout for good. I teach clients to heal from the inside out using my tools that are really backed by my experience as a medical doctor, a mom, I have my master's degree in neuroscience too.

So I've used all of this background and information to develop my processes, helping so many moms to find peace of mind and balance, to ditch exhaustion and burnout once and for all. Now book a call with me PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me, the link is in the show notes, to find out if you are someone that I can help too.

And today I want to talk about really our relationship to motherhood. And I had this feeling, I had come back from a trip and I just felt thrown back in to the daily grind. And there's what I call the daily grind dread, which so many moms are trapped in where they're just dreading the day. And they get out of bed, their alarm goes off, they're dragging themselves out. And then it's work, work, work, work work, they come home. And then it's more work and more stuff to do in the to do list. And it's just totally exhausting.

Now, I never feel the daily grind tread because of my processes. But I will say that when I'm not with my kids, I miss them. And they're top of mind, their safety and their well being. And when I am with them, I feel a lot of pressure to spend a lot of time with them because there's that saying that the days are long, but the years are short. And it's so true.

So you know, I realized that the next thing I know, they're going to be off to college and ditching me and even before that, they're not going to want to hang out with me anymore. And this time is so so precious. And as I was ending my carefree time, and it was back to my regular scheduled programming.

Meaning my job, my older one is in private school and figuring out when the deadline is for that and tuition and all these things. His camp, I think I pretty much got done, but there are a couple things lingering with that and just those kinds of things. And then also, of course, I love being with my kids.

But that's what brings me to the topic of today. Which is how being a mom is the most important job that we will really ever have. And today I'm going to talk about my own personal story, which really is about how I knew I wanted to be a mother at six years old. Now that's not true for everyone. But that is true for me.

My sister is actually six years younger than me. And when she was a baby, I loved caring for her. I loved having a baby sister, I would help to make her formula bottles and supplement them with iron. And I remember very vividly helping do this and even changing her diapers when I was that age and I really loved it. And I love babies. And so, from that moment, I knew I wanted to be a mom.

Now it doesn't have to be that soon for people. And maybe some people don't know they want to be a mom and they get pregnant and they decide to have a baby not really knowing. But what happens is, after we have those babies we love them fiercely like no other. And that love that a mother has for her child, there is nothing like it. It is so beautiful. I'm probably gonna cry while I deliver this episode.

But when I think of the day when I became a mom and I brought my older one home from the hospital and looking at him, and he was just, he was the cutest thing I've ever seen. And many of us we have a tough labor, which I felt like with both my kids, I had not the best laboring situations. And yet, if you asked me would I do it all over again, I totally would.

Because I have these two magical creatures that I'm so blessed and privileged to call my children. And just looking at them, it's sometimes surreal for me that they're my kids. And actually, it's funny, they don't really look like 100%, like me or their father, they're just some mix of those DNAs mixed together, and you have them and they look like each other.

So definitely, we know that they're our children, but I look at them and it's not like either of them is really a spitting image of me. And when I look at them, and they're doing things, and I just cannot believe that these are my children.

And I even had a moment the other day when I was putting my daughter to bed, and we do this really long hug. And I realized, well, I always think, this is it, this is now, these are the times. And I thought to myself, wow, like, there was a time when there was nothing more than I wanted but to be a mother and it's here and it happened and that dream came true. And not everyone gets that dream so easily, right? People go through a lot to have children, and a lot of people have fertility issues.

So that's all to say that on one hand, it's so moving to be a mom. Now the reason I'm telling you all of this is, there's that right? And there's the juxtaposition of how it is yes, being a mom is literally some of the most important work we will do, our job as mothers raising these people, these little humans.

But at the same time, it is by far the hardest job. And it's the most important. So it makes it even more hard because we know that whatever we're doing, whatever is going on with us, whatever trauma we have, whatever stories we have, whatever triggers we have. That shapes, how we come across to them, what we're saying to them, and how we're rearing them and raising them. And so that's why it is so important for us to work on ourselves.

And that's where it's not about self care. It's about having intention, and realizing that as we work on ourselves, as we heal ourselves, we're actually being better mothers. So none of that time that we take for ourselves, none of that work that we do for ourselves, because it's really for our kids too, it's not selfish. It's going to have a positive ripple effect on our children, and our whole family.

And so we know that being a mom is the most important job. And yet, we want to be human beings. We want to be people besides being a mother. That identity is so crucial. It's so important for our personal fulfillment. And yes, children fulfill us in so many ways. But we also have our careers that we're managing. And that is important.

Now for some of us, a career means personal fulfillment, feeling like you're really impacting the world and making money at the same time. And for some of us, it might just be making money, but either way, those are choices we make. That's something we want to do. We want to be people outside of being moms, we want to have an impact. We want to help make our child's lives better, maybe with the extra money we bring in.

Or also I believe that being a professional mom, it sets an awesome example for my children that I have a career that's important to me. And my mother, she worked really hard. She worked many, many hours, and I reaped the benefits of that through she was able to pay for a lot of things. And I had a wonderful life thanks to her. But not just that. She sent an example of hard work that has really stuck with me, and it's wonderful, and I'm really grateful for that.

So how do we make peace or face this dichotomy? Because there is a dichotomy. It's like on one hand, you love your kids so fiercely, you love them to death. And on the other hand, you're spread really thin and you're needing some time for yourself or you need to be a person outside of that.

So how do we do this? How do we reconcile this? When we tend to feel so much mom guilt, right? Because mom guilt is something that just goes with the job. It's an inherent part of being a mother.

Basically, we feel guilty that we're not doing a good enough job, we feel guilty that we're not perfect. We're not spending enough time with our kids, maybe we're doing too much work this and that. And we set ourselves up for dissatisfaction because we are striving for perfection just like we do in our jobs, just like we do in general because we're type A.

And as we can really combat this mom guilt, we can practice mindfulness, and try to be in the present moment. We can really reframe, and allow ourselves to let go of perfectionism, embrace our humanity, being human, learning to apologize to our children if we make mistakes, connecting with other professional moms as well. Those are ways that we can ditch mom guilt.

Now, the bottom line in all of this, and why I bring up this topic today, why am I talking about my love of being a mother, juxtaposed with the difficulty of being a working mom? The difficulty of trying to do it all and being spread relatively thin?

Well, first of all, it exists. And that's why I'm talking about it today. It is there. And then how are we going to create peace in this situation? So this is what we do, we learn to be aware. We're aware that we have this dichotomy.

We're aware that we have the guilt. We're aware that we want to be people outside of our children. And as we become aware, we can learn to embrace our humanity. We can learn to heal ourselves. We can get help, we can go to therapy, we can get a coach, we can learn our patterns. And as we do that, as we really practice, healing, mindfulness, all the tools, a lot of the tools that I have on this podcast actually I talk about a lot of tools.

And then I have way more in depth processes inside my coaching program. But this is how we really heal from the inside out and create this next generation of healing mothers. So that we don't make the mistakes that our mothers made with us.

But also, we get to enjoy our lives, we get to find peace and happiness, we get to be working, we get to be moms, and we get to be fulfilled. And we can learn to realize the mom guilt is always gonna be there but make our peace with it.

Peace with the fact that motherhood is beautiful, but motherhood is hard. Motherhood is important. Motherhood can be frustrating sometimes. We can feel all of those things, they can all exist at the same time. That's the beauty. It's not black and white. It's not one way or the other. And as we acknowledge this, we get to give ourselves grace. Knowing that we're doing the best we can.

We keep learning and healing and growing. And that is how we learn to connect with ourselves. But also have a better connection with our children, with our spouses, with our families, and our friends and build this life filled with love for ourselves, our families and also alignment to really live out what we want for ourselves.

And by doing this, we're helping ourselves and helping our loved ones. So if you want to dive deeper into this work, book a call with me PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me.

I've helped so many moms just like you. Book a call to see if you're someone I can help too. We dive way deeper into all of this stuff inside my coaching program overcome burnout for good in 90 days or less. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode 85: Learn Boundaries for Work-Life Balance

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about the important topic of boundaries and how to properly establish them in order to get the most out of their benefits. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can get more work-life balance through setting boundaries for yourself. Tune in for more on this topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

physical boundaries, emotional boundaries, and relational boundaries to achieve work-life balance.
the positive impact of boundaries on mental health, stress reduction, and healthier relationships through improved communication and clarity of expectations.
practical implementable tools on how to implement boundaries.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 85. Hello, hello. We are now in February. I am so glad that you are listening here today. Welcome to the empowering working moms podcast. So thrilled to have you listening.

And I want to keep with the theme of self love this month, I'm going to do my best to do that. And that is actually why I'm going to talk about boundaries today.

And so many moms in demanding careers, they're focusing on things like self care, mani pedis, massages, trying to work out more, maybe on your peloton, do you have one? I know many of my clients do. And meditate more. Well more like downloading apps like headspace and calm and then never actually meditating.

But they do these things to feel more energized, to ditch exhaustion, to ditch burnout. And these are really Band Aid solutions. They're a quick fix for a day or two. But they really don't work in the long term. There are actually five ways of doing this overcoming burnout in my coaching program overcome burnout for good.

But today, I'm giving you one of my favorite ways, right now you're going to be able to practice this. You're gonna have time, energy back each week. But also you're going to be able to stop feeling guilty and show up for your family in the way that you want. Really creating deeper connections and being present for the moments that matter. And that is through boundaries.

So we're going to talk a little bit about what boundaries are and the kinds of boundaries, how you can practice them. And I'm sure you already know that you probably are thinking you need to practice better boundaries, because a lot of clients coming to me saying that. So now I'm going to give you the way to actually do that.

So really, boundaries are a way that creates a delineation between us and other people. They're the limits and guidelines that we create to define what is acceptable to us. So acceptable and appropriate behavior in various parts of our lives. And boundaries create a framework for healthy relationships.

But really, the healthy relationship that we have with ourselves. Boundaries are so important for our own personal well being and self preservation. It is a true key to balance and work life balance. And so we've got several types of boundaries which I'm going to describe for you.

Physical boundaries really just involve personal space, physical touch, protecting one's space and body. So that's why I know there's so much stuff on social media, where this generation of mothers, we're not forcing our kids to hug people anymore, because we're allowing them to have personal space and autonomy over their bodies.

And I actually created this list of values with my kids for our family that I thought was fun. We have it on the fridge. And one of them is personal space and personal boundaries. And my two year old daughter, she has been saying personal space and personal boundaries for a while. And it is to help keep them from invading each other's space. But also in the future as they get older, other people's space.

The next boundary is emotional boundaries, and that's really protecting our emotional well being and recognizing and respecting our own emotions along with other people's. And so this is really protecting and preserving our mental space. Or if something does not feel like a safe environment mentally, then maybe that's something to think about creating an emotional boundary for.

And then there are relational boundaries, which really are in different settings, like within a family, or with your friends, or with people at work. And I know that's a tough one for a lot of moms in demanding careers, they have a tough time establishing boundaries between home and work. And that's why y'all want work life balance, right, because you want it to be better.

And boundaries really have such a positive impact on mental health. So research has really shown that boundaries help with stress reduction, knowing your limits, and really being able to tell people that or avoid certain situations, prevents overwhelm, and really helps you to stay balanced.

Also enhancing your self respect. Because as you maintain your boundaries, you're really respecting yourself and preserving your own sense of self and what works for you. Boundaries also foster healthier relationships, because you're going to have more clarity of expectations.

You're going to decrease misunderstandings, be more clear and therefore enhance communication. And so this is just going to increase the quality of relationships that you have in interactions and connection. It's going to definitely increase your emotional well being because you're going to be able to take care of and safeguard your emotional space.

And so this is truly what prevents emotional exhaustion and burnout. So this allows you to really navigate challenges with resilience. And establishing boundaries for work life balance is so important to really allow our personal time to be our personal time. And setting boundaries really helps us to feel empowered and control our lives.

Because we really don't have control over anything outside of ourselves. We have no control over other people, we can only control what we do and control our response. And that is where boundaries really come in handy.

And healthy boundaries really prevent codependent relationships where people are just so intertwined and rely on each other for everything for emotional validation. And being able to have boundaries, a delineation between you and other people, really helps you to be independent and have a more stable and resilient mental state.

And now I'm going to dive into the actual practicality, how to implement and practice boundaries, give you some examples as well. Before I start that, I want to say that boundaries really are not something that you have to tell other people.

Your boundary is really simply for you. And boundaries go like this. If this happens, then I do that. If this, then I. So if something outside of you happens, then you take action in a certain way. And that way, it really has to do with what you're doing. Not anything else. Okay. So that is the premise of a boundary.

So let's say for example, at work, you have a tough time creating boundaries. If there is an extra project that you don't have time to do. So if there's an extra project and I don't have time, then I say no. You say no. If I'm at home, and it's after five, or after six, whatever, I am not going to look at my work emails.

So if, then. And that way, you have these, it's almost like they're little rules for you to live by. Which most of us I think are probably rule followers. Personally, I'm actually a rebel Gretchen Rubin. I don't know if anyone's familiar with her. But she has these four tendencies.

And I took the quiz twice, because I didn't believe I was a rebel. Which is ironic, because that just shows that I am a rebel. So I actually don't like to follow rules. But when it comes to boundaries, I will stick to them.

Because for me, personal boundaries and being good at sticking to them, it's a skill that I've been learning and building over time. And so it's almost like, I get to show myself how I am really transforming and growing as a person.

Because if you're familiar with Indian culture at all. My parents were born in India, they came here in their 20s. And I was born and raised in this country. And so in my culture boundaries really are not a thing.

Everybody's up in everybody's business. There's really no delineation between family members. So this has been something I've had to learn in my later adult life. And it's been a game changer. Which is why I'm so passionate about talking about it today.

So other boundaries that you can do, even certain things like with your children, for example, that's a really, really tough one. Boundaries with our own kids is tough, because the way a mom loves her children, it's so special, it's so different, and it can be so intense.

And so you love your kids so much. And you just want them to be happy. And so a lot of times we will overextend ourselves for our children, which is not a problem at all. But we can also have boundaries.

So for me, my boundary is, because I do some remote work, my coaching business, I work from home. And when my door is shut during the day, at night, I usually leave my door open so I can hear my kids, but during the daytime, if they're at home, and let's say my au pair is taking care of them. If my door is shut, then I am not available.

And so that is my own boundary, which I don't have to tell them, but I do tell them this just so that they know. And then when they don't adhere to this, and they burst into my room, I reinforce when the door is shut, I am doing work, and I'm not available to hang out and play. So that is one example of preserving, let's say your workspace or your time, and you can even do it with your children.

Now I'm going to give you a bit of an extreme example. When people are in dysfunctional relationships. And one of the spouses, let's say, has a temper problem and it's scary. And maybe they're not ready to remove themselves from the unhealthy situation, et cetera.

A great boundary for that could be in your mind, you could say if he calls me a swear word again, or if he starts slamming doors, I will leave. So you don't even have to tell the other person that. But at least for you, then you have a boundary and you have a safety plan. And it's just something that you can control.

Though I would recommend getting out of those kinds of situations because they usually don't improve with therapy and things like that. Although never say never because anything's possible, I suppose in this world, now isn't it.

Another example that's like quite personal for me. I had my first au pair, she's wrapping up with me in about a month. And our relationship started out really well. And then I would say it kind of took a turn, maybe four months in or so. And so she's been wonderful with my children, no doubt.

But when you have an au pair, sometimes you have house rules. And she does not like to follow mine. And she will tell me, oh, I would never not follow your rules, I will always respect your rules. And then she flat out doesn't. And I've caught her in a couple of white lies to me and I don't like being lied to.

So that's all to say that since we're coming towards the end of our relationship, I don't really think it makes sense to have major conversations about this. And what makes more sense for me, though, to preserve my own personal energy is to have boundaries.

So if you don't respect my house rules, and if you lie to me, then you won't get a certain privilege or a certain extra whatever it might be, extra demand from me. And though I actually found that really hard to put into action. Especially when you live with somebody, it can be very tricky in terms of how to deal with a person you live with.

So I practiced my boundary. And what I found was it made me really uncomfortable. But what I knew was that I had inner peace, knowing that I loved myself with my boundary. I respected myself with my boundary. And I was more than comfortable. And I knew if something went down with her, for example, that I would be okay. I was going to be fine no matter what.

And I'm not trying to brag I'm saying that is how I knew that I've come so far, and I'm growing so much. And so this work really means something. And it's not always easy, it is very simple. And it can change how we experience life for the better. So much more peace, so much less cognitive dissonance.

And now I'm going to get into a little bit of scientific research about the benefits of boundaries. I'm not going to bore you too much. But I think it's important for us to know concrete evidence that this is why we want to learn and practice boundaries.

And you know that I'm a scientist because I have my master's in neuroscience. I am a board certified internal medicine physician who still sees patients so I'm also a very science based person.

A study published in the Journal of Organizational Behavior investigated the relationship between boundaries, work related stress, and work life balance. And what they found was that people who actively set boundaries really ended up having a lower level of stress and higher satisfaction in their lives.

Another study published in the Journal of Family Psychology showed that families with well defined and communicated boundaries experience lower levels of anxiety and stress and having better mental health outcomes.

And the last study that I'll mention comes from the Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, which has investigated the impact of parental boundary settings on child outcomes. And this research shows that parents who maintain consistent and appropriate boundaries contribute to lower stress levels in themselves but also in their children.

So if that isn't incentive to start learning how to practice boundaries, I don't know what it is. So remember, when you're practicing boundaries, you really want to create that safety, physically and mentally for yourself. So if this happens outside of me, then I do this. And you will see, you're gonna feel so so much better.

If you want to dive deeper and truly heal from the inside out, to ditch burnout and exhaustion without more self care, without working out, without meditation and truly heal yourself, get that change that you've been wanting, ditch burnout, exhaustion for good book a call with me PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode 84: Unlocking Happiness: Mastering Mindfulness for a Fulfilling Life

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses the importance of cultivating presence and joy in the small and mundane moments happening in ordinary life. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about strategies to realize that life is about the here and now. Tune in for more on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

Embrace the Present Moment:- Discover the transformative power of living in the now and the importance of mindfulness.
Practice Mindfulness Easily:- Practical tips on incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine.
Find Joy in Small Moments:- Scientific insights into the impact of finding joy in everyday experiences. Practical tips for cultivating gratitude and happiness in small, ordinary moments.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You are listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 84. Well, hello there, happy winter. It has been an interesting winter here on the East Coast. There were a couple of snow days. And basically my au pair got stuck in Nashville. So I was without childcare for, I think six days or so. It was a lot.

And one of the days actually, I was unable to go to work because my au pair was not around to be backup childcare for the snow day. And I ended up spending time with my kids. It was very stressful.

But it actually inspired this week's episode, which is about the concept of the time is now. Like, this is your life, in this moment. These are the days of our lives. They are so so precious. And though we hate on ourselves for so many things like our bodies, and this and that. When we're ninety years old, we're going to be missing our 30 something year old 40 something year old bodies.

And actually, I'm going to be honest, my kids are in the background because it's the weekend and this morning, I was gone to a workshop that I was putting on on mindfulness tools for moms who are exhausted and want to enjoy their lives and find peace of mind. And so actually, my au pair was off this weekend as well. So she couldn't help me. And so I had a babysitter come and then I came home, I spent some time with my kids. And I decided it was time to record this podcast episode.

But now I'm actually thinking, Well, I wanted to avoid screen time. So I have them in my room playing but I'm realizing it is too much noise probably. So I am going to break down and put them in front of a screen because that's usually the only way to keep them quiet. So hold on. I'll be right back.

All right now we're back. I put on Disney plus for them. And I'm very anti screentime. And I tried to not have my children watch TV at all costs. And so anyway, I digress. But okay, we're back. And it's just adults here. It's our little safe space right now. And I'm going to go ahead and record this before anything happens.

So the moment is now. These are the special moments. And it dawned on me that this is the case when it was a snow day. And I'm sitting at the breakfast table with my children. And I'm stressed about how am I going to get to work like, what am I going to do? How am I going to entertain them? Or can I find some childcare?

And I was putting on some music. And they both started laughing. And we were all doing these hand motions in the air. And it was just kind of cute and funny. And we're all laughing. And there was just this moment. And in my mind, I just thought to myself, This is it. This is the magic. And it's right here, right now.

Which is also just kind of a mindfulness piece in practice, like it's right here right now. And I get to be there. And I have this privilege to be here right now and spend time with them. And they're so little and yeah, they follow me around and I can't even go to the bathroom without having them in tow. And that can be really exasperating.

But at the same time, I know that someday they're going to be busy with their friends, they're going to be teenagers, and I'm going to miss this time. So the time is now because there are moments right now that might be annoying you but one year from now, five years from now, 10 years from now you're going to miss it.

And so we also just catch ourselves in the past or the future. That's what we're caught up with. And we're just neglecting what's right in front of us the present moment and the power of right now, right. And that's what really dawned on me during just a mundane breakfast with my kids.

But it's in the mundaneness that there's so much magic and I really loved sitting with them and being goofy and it was fun. And those are the moments I'm gonna remember on my deathbed, not being stressed out about whatever, day to day stuff, the day to day grind.

And another way to really realize how it's right now, this is life, is that we have journeys. Well life is a journey. And it has very distinct phases with different experiences. And there is beauty in every single stage. Even if there is pain. There's always something positive that can come out of negativity.

I remember even a couple years ago, gosh, it's gonna be actually close to four years ago now. That's so crazy to think about, but four years ago was when I moved for my spouse's job, and I left my full time job. And it was just such a weird time because we were in the middle of COVID and I actually had gotten pregnant too.

But leaving my full time career as a physician in a practice, shout out to first docs. But my practice is so great, and it's the job I've been at since residency, and they've always treated me really well. And there's some flexibility and it's just a great practice to work for. And so I was leaving that full time job, really not knowing what I was going to do and it was really tough.

And that was actually what opened up time to pursue my coaching business. And even having the creativity and the time to do this podcast and things like that. And so what seemed like such a horrible thing at the time, leaving the only job I had known full time at the time, and not knowing what I was doing next really gave me time to reflect. So no matter where we are, and that's kind of not so dark of a thing, but even darker things.

There's always some lesson there that challenges bring us and something we can learn. And we can really embrace what happens. So we can embrace the current moment. And the way to really do this is through learning how to be mindful. And this morning, I spoke to a local group of women about mindfulness practices and tools that they could use in stressful moments.

And the thing about mindfulness is, it's not meant only for dealing with stress and anxiety. But it's also meant to bring you to the current moment and one of the most useful tools, saying to yourself here and now, can really help you. As you inhale, you say here, as you exhale, you say now.

And doing that as you're breathing can really tether you to the current moment and take you away from the narrative, the story that's going on in your head. Bring you back to the now, which is really the main life that we're living is right now. And take you away from obsessing over your to do list, the grocery list, et cetera. So try the here and now mindfulness exercise and see how it goes for you. You can use it when you're feeling stressed. But it's also really helpful if you are just wanting to bring yourself in.

And I actually used it right before this episode when I was trying to structure the rest of the day and thinking about hmm, how am I going to record my podcast with the kids home, and I don't want to do it after they go to bed because I'm gonna be too tired, and so on and so forth.

And I was doing special time with my kids. And I said to myself, here and now and that brought me in to the present moment. Remembering to cultivate presence and joy in small, mundane moments happening in ordinary life can profoundly impact our well being. And scientific studies have actually shown this, that finding joy in these moments can make us happier.

Whether it is savoring a cup of coffee in the morning, enjoying or marveling at the sunset, enjoying the sunshine on your face, enjoying your surroundings, enjoying laughs with your children, embracing a friend or a spouse and really soaking that in. Because we just never know how long we have on this earth or even how long we have with other people. And also practicing gratitude.

And so that brings me to some tips you can use to really realize that life is now, these are the moments of our lives. These are the best moments of our lives, even if sometimes we're going through some hard stuff, because life can be tough. And no matter what comes our way, we can learn to have moments of joy and presence.

Even if we've got grief in the background or dysfunction with family members in the background or arguments with somebody in the background, you're having a falling out with your old best friend in the background or a divorce in the background. There are so many other serious things that can go on, they can happen. But you can still cultivate peace of mind and joy, I promise.

So some tips to do this. One is to really practice gratitude. And I've mentioned this before in different contexts. But this is a known happiness factor or hack. I know that it makes people happier, because it just trains your brain to see the glass half full. So for yourself thinking of brainstorming five things to be grateful for every morning. Or when you're in the shower. You can cultivate a gratitude practice with your children. If you're into journaling, you could practice gratitude that way. People have a gratitude jar.

I think Jay Shetty had mentioned this on his podcast or somewhere, create a jar and name one thing you're grateful for every week. And then at the end of the year, you have 50 things you can reflect on, which is kind of cool. Practicing the mindfulness that we talked about. Maybe using here and now and just bringing yourself into the present moment as you breathe.

Engaging your senses in any given experience. So if you're in a room with wonderful people at an event, let's say. Just marveling at the space, the room or their paintings on the wall, really seeing everything seeing the people looking at their expressions, what are they wearing? Or what are you hearing? Are you talking to someone Are you really listening?

And maybe just listening without having a response and just soaking that in. Really cultivating those listening skills, that really creates presence and realizing this is my life right here, right now, this is what's happening. The senses, can you smell anything? What about tactile? Is there a feeling like maybe you're sitting on a really comfortable couch?

Or did you shake hands with somebody, notice when you're shaking their hand. Or a hug. And we went over seeing, listening, smelling, touching, tasting. If you're eating food, really notice what you're tasting, and try to focus on that instead of letting your mind wander off.

So the senses are a great way to make yourself present. Because if you focus on your senses, you're observing what's happening right now, instead of letting your brain wander to the past or the future. And that is really how we can be present.

And I also think over planning for years and years in advance, maybe shying away from doing that, like making plans years in advance, because. I don't mean financial planning, I just more mean like vacations and things like that, because things happen. COVID happens, world catastrophes happen, environmental things happen.

Somebody actually today that I met this morning was telling me that she and her husband are considering canceling their trip to Iceland because there were volcanoes erupting. And so it's just always stuff. So if you just try to live day by day, shorter periods of time to really live in the present moment, that is the best.

And that's actually why Al Anon and I believe AA too, they talk about one day at a time. And I will tell you, if you're living with someone who has an addiction to any substance, including alcohol, it can be very, very difficult to practice loving detachment, which is really the premise of Al Anon.

And it's detaching yourself with love. so that you're able to create your own peace and happiness in spite of what might be going on with the chaos of addiction. And I really do believe most people out there have some relation to addiction in the sense that they must have a family member that struggles with addiction in their family. There has to be because it's much more common than we think.

But the premise there of one hour at a time, one day at a time. It's used in the sense that I believe for alcoholics, they do one day at a time that they have to be sober. So that it's not so daunting that they feel like they have to be sober for a lifetime, because that can be very overwhelming. So the idea that one hour at a time, one day at a time, in terms of coping with addiction.

But also you can use that same premise for let me just be here in the present moment, right now. Because this is my life as I know it. Like this is what's happening one hour at a time, one day at a time. These are the moments. And we're not going to love every single moment. But often we can find joy in the more annoying moments.

And I'll give an example. I'm not particularly a morning person. I don't love waking up at 6am, let's say. But on the mornings where I am in a rush and getting my kids out the door, dropping them to school and then going to work. I'm able to find joy throughout that process. And that process, like the process of the daily grind, that's not my favorite thing to do.

But I can wake up I can set an intention for the day. That creates presence for me and pause. Then I see my son and I give him a really long hug and I savor that. I savor hugging my daughter because she's still in her twos, but she'll be three in the spring and so she's still kind of a baby to me. So I savor the babyishness. Then we get the brushing teeth on which is not that fun.

And then it's breakfast time, which is okay. But during breakfast, we may engage with each other, make jokes, I enjoy that. Then let's say on the ride to school, maybe I'm tired, but I'll play music and we'll be enjoying the music. And then I say goodbye to each kid. And I savor that moment. I think transition moments are really important to connect with our children.

But the point is, though, those are not my favorite hours of the day and time when I'm in a rush in the morning and kind of ushering my children. I still am able to create pockets of joy throughout that process. So in the present moment, and so that is what I want to bring to your attention today. To really be able to live in the moment. To be able to cultivate joy and appreciate what's happening right now.

Even if you're not in a good mood. Even if it's an annoying task. Is there joy at any point? Because I bet you there will be. And even when we feel pain, and we're sad, and we cry. Most of the time. It's not like we're crying nonstop. You rarely will cry nonstop for 24 hours, right? There has to be a break in there where you feel some relief because you experienced the catharsis of tears. So my point is even pain, we perceive it as longer than it actually is.

Which is why we'll always say, oh, it's been a long day, because our perception of the day is long, because maybe it wasn't the most fun day. But our perception is not reality. The reality is, the crappy moments, were probably fewer and far between. I'm not talking with a big tragedy, I'm just talking about an annoying day. So maybe we had some few and far between bad moments, but our brains we decide to perseverate on the negative.

Because that's what we do. That is our tendency as human beings. We tend to focus on the negative. We scan the environment for threats, and then we tend to perseverate because we're no longer foraging in the forest. But our fight or flight mode gets activated. And we're in there perseverating on the negative so we can problem solve. When we really most of the time these days, you don't need to.

So if you can just be aware of the fact that we do have the negativity bias. Be aware of the fact that life is now. It's right now, in this moment, when you're listening this podcast. Maybe you're enjoying your drive, maybe you're on a walk or a run. You can get that fresh air perhaps. And this is it. Here and now. So remember that.

When you're having those joyous moments, bring yourself in say to yourself here and now, soak it in. Because this is it baby. These are the moments of our lives. And as you continue to practice this, you are going to cultivate so much joy and peace of mind.

So if you like this and you want to dive deeper into this work book a call with me PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. I would love to work with you.

I work with professional moms to help them ditch exhaustion, ditch their stress, anxiety and really enjoy their lives and cultivate peace of mind no matter what in 90 days or less. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode 83: Finding Fulfillment Beyond Overachievement: Embracing Stillness in Motherhood

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about finding peace and enjoyment through taking time to be intentionally quiet and still. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about practical strategies on how to cultivate stillness, as well as how it can greatly benefit you and contribute to better well-being. Tune in for more on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

The Power of Stillness: Discover how incorporating moments of quiet and stillness into your busy life can be a transformative practice, leading to enhanced self-reflection and a deeper alignment.
Breaking the Overachievement Cycle: Understand the detrimental effects of constantly filling every moment with tasks and activities, leading to burnout and stress, and learn practical strategies to escape the 'Fill All My Time for Fulfillment' trap.
Cultivating Inner Peace: Explore practical and manageable techniques, such as slowing down, spending time alone, connecting with nature, and going technology-free, to bring more peace, joy, and fulfillment into your daily life.
Personal Growth Through Stillness: Hear a personal journey that illustrates how moments of stillness and reflection can lead to clarity, self-confidence, and positive life changes, providing inspiration for your own breakthrough.
Benefits Beyond Stress Reduction: Recognize that embracing stillness not only reduces stress but also improves relationships, and allows for a more intentional and enjoyable existence.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 83. Hello there, everyone. Thank you so much for listening today to this week's podcast episode. I have to be honest, it is getting dark so early now. It's such a bummer. So over it. And I'm not a fan of the cold weather either.

I think I'm a little in the middle of winter blues, I don't know. But it just stinks because the day ends so early, and you almost feel more tired when it's dark out earlier. But I digress.

I know that you're probably an over driven career mom, right. And so that's why you're here listening to empowering working moms. And I know what it's like to be in your shoes. I'm an internal medicine physician, I do life coaching as well.

But becoming a mom when I was working full time was totally overloading me. And it made my anxiety so much worse. And so that's really what started me on this journey, which really started with self care and meditation.

But then over the past several years, it's just gotten so much deeper than that. Really doing investigative work on myself and healing myself from the inside out. Doing the work required to really feel like I have my own inner compass and feel solidified in myself and learn to cultivate peace of mind every single day, no matter what is going on around me.

And that is what I teach my clients to do to really find peace of mind and enjoy their lives once and for all. And if you're curious about this, check out my free on demand masterclass four steps to overcoming burnout and overwhelm, the link's in the show notes. You don't want to miss it.

And so you're probably making plans for fun when you're not working right, because you need something to look forward to. But the thing is, these plans just cause you to feel more tired and overwhelmed. You don't get a sense of peace or rest. And it's frustrating because on paper, you have everything you worked so hard for personally and professionally.

And this means you're trying to pack in more fun or over scheduling with minimal downtime to make the most of your time off to rejuvenate yourself, but you end up exhausted. And this is the fill all my time for fulfillment trap.

That's what I call it. You're wanting to make the most of your time to be doing your best in all aspects of your life, work and play.

And this comes from a drive to achieve from a really young age. But what this does in adulthood, this results in over achieving and leaves us super busy but not fulfilled. And even darker, it can leave us feeling empty and then cue the exhaustion and burnout. So what do you do instead of this.

And this is what today's podcast episode is all about. You find time to be quiet and to be still. So overachieving moms, they find themselves trapped in this whirlwind of constant activity. The pressure to succeed, not just professionally, but personally too. And it is this pressure that really leads them to fill every single moment of their day.

This need to take every opportunity to prove their worth, their ability. It just creates this over busy overfilled but not fulfilling life where you're just multitasking all the time. This plays out in saying yes to projects at work that maybe are extra or volunteering at the school on certain committees or in the PTA. Or volunteering to host a book club or other gatherings. And this is in addition to working, right.

And then on weekends, you've got the kids activities, or maybe some trips or other events that you've signed up for and there's just not a moment to breathe. And then women are finding themselves depleted on a day to day basis just dreading the day. And we know that that's just no way to live.

Because why are we busting our asses at work and at home all to find ourselves not happy, trapped in the daily grind dread.

So burnout, stress, and exhaustion are something that they're there all the time and it's just a tough cycle to break. So some of the deeper implications of this constant hustle is really detrimental to our mental and emotional well being.

So not being still can really lead to this sense of disconnection from yourself. Which is the worst disconnection of all because when you're disconnected for yourself, you don't feel stable in yourself. And you're constantly looking for answers and validation outside of yourself. Which is the worst thing because we cannot control what other people think of us or what input they're gonna give us.

And what's much better and can leave us feeling more peaceful and whole is to really find connection with ourselves. And this is through the stillness. And when we're not still each day is bleeding into the next.

We're obsessed with the to do list, daily chores like the dishes, keeping a neat and tidy kitchen, trying to buy more clear containers to organize everything, the kids toys, all this nesting behavior. And I think Instagram makes this so much worse.

And I'm laughing because I'm totally guilty of this. I have my own kind of stuff surrounding cleanliness and neatness, tidiness, organization, which I'm not going to get into in this episode. But I definitely subscribe to some of these things as well, all the clear containers in my house. And also I do cleanse and purge all the clutter and whatnot. And I do quarterly donations just to make sure that things don't pile up. But I digress.

Because the point of that is we're obsessing over that. And we're trying to keep it all together, and then you're left feeling drained. So you might be thinking, why do I keep harping on quiet and stillness as the solution to this. So here we go.

Stillness offers a space for self reflection, and we can really begin to get in touch with ourselves, our values, our priorities, because half the time we just don't have the time or space to stop and think about it. Because all we need is a little bit of thought and intentionality to our lives.And that really is a key component to finding peace and enjoyment.

So I will tell you my own personal tale, when I moved for my partner's job, I had an opportunity to be out of the daily grind dread for a while. And it was with that time that I was not working full time. So many things became clear to me. All these things about my life, I had not really given any time or thought to. I was in survival mode.

I was able to get clarity and really build my own sense of inner compass, my self confidence, and love myself. And I made so many moves, like big changes in my life in a short period of time to get my life on a way better path. And without that time, without that reflection, I'm telling you right now, I would still be stuck where I was.

So that's great, right? I'm telling you about stillness. And now you're thinking, well, how am I going to do this. So I'm going to give you some practical strategies to implement and put into practice in order to really cultivate stillness. And I know your life is busy. And I'm not saying that you have to sit and meditate or spend a ton of time on this.

But with a little bit of intention and the determination to make some changes in your life, you can practice these techniques, and you will see that you're going to have so much more peace and enjoy your life.

So here we go. Slow down, in general. And this has come up for me because 2024, I decided that I wanted to cultivate more patience. Patience has not been a part of my DNA for a really long time, which is kind of funny because I became a physician, which is a really long path. And I guess you do have to be patient in it.

But it's almost like you're so busy first trying to get into med school and studying all the time. And then studying and studying some more and cramming all the stuff in, that there is no room to be impatient. Because you're just like going going, going to try and achieve your goal.

So patience. And the reason I decided to really dive into patience as one of my intentions for 2024 is I just knew I need to slow down. Because when you slow down, that is when you have the time and space to actually open up your mind and accept or have new ideas come to you that you normally wouldn't. Because there's just no space for it.

The monkey mind has 60,000 thoughts a day. And so if we don't sit still to notice those thoughts, then we're not going to be able to really live our life in integrity with how we want to live. And instead, we're going to be on the hamster wheel like Groundhog's Day, same day, day in and day out. And that is not fun. And I know that's not how you want to live.

So just cultivating some patience, slowing down and reminding yourself to not be in a rush. Now the other thing to do to create some stillness is to spend some time alone. And I know that might be daunting for some of you. Maybe you're married you have children and that's really hard to do. I get it. But you can literally start by sitting quietly for a few minutes every day. That's it. That's literally it.

You just sit for a couple of minutes every single day, sit quietly. And you will see how many thoughts come and go. And you can just open yourself up up to whatever your brain might want to think. And sit there. So start with that.

And then in terms of spending time alone and cultivating stillness, spend more time by yourself. It could be taking yourself out to eat, it could be doing an overnight trip. And Dr. Bonnie Koo and I talked about this, spending time alone.

And it's so good to just get away from all of the stimulus and all of the day to day stuff to really open yourself up to ideas and inspiration. And creativity is something that we really end up squashing in this modern day life.

And then if you really get brave, you could take like a quick trip by yourself, completely alone. And that can be amazing too. And the more you learn to be alone and spend some time alone. Not just the fact that you got your brain and space opened up to new and fresh ideas.

But also, this is how you really learn to love yourself and being in your own company. And when you do that you can get comfortable with yourself. And then you can stop hanging out with people who maybe make you feel uncomfortable.

Because a lot of times we end up hanging out with people we really don't want to hang out with. And it's just a waste of time. Having kids and being a professional, free time is so precious that if you end up having, let's say, a trip or something, or even a dinner with a bunch of people, and you don't find it refreshing and rejuvenating, there's no point in continuing hanging out with that person or them. It's really that simple.

And I know maybe that sounds harsh to you, but really standing guard and being tight about who we spend our time with. And opening up to even spending time alone, because it's better to be alone than be around the wrong people.

The next thing to do is to stop jam packing everything in all the time and be able to just say to yourself, no, this is too much. I'm not doing all this. And I have played around with this a lot in my life, because I tend to be a really social person. But I'm also a mother, I also have two different careers. And so I'm definitely spread thin, that's a fact.

But I have noticed that I will bite off more than I can chew. So I really take time to be mindful of how stressful it might be for me to schedule certain social things, etc. So not jam packing, giving yourself free space, free time, free Saturday nights, for example, and not trying to fill them with a million things to do.

Also getting in touch with nature. Or just taking a walk outside, getting some fresh air. Yeah, you're moving. But that really does cultivate peace and stillness.

The next strategy I'm going to give you and I know this cannot be new to you. But it's really going technology free. So having time without your phone. Putting your phone away for certain amounts of time, especially when you're having family time or time with people that you really want to connect with, putting your phone away. Especially with your children and really connecting with them.

And another way to do this when you're alone, and I found this really useful is, I just started this new hobby actually. After my kids go to bed, I'll do puzzles. And I never really used to like puzzles. But what I really love about puzzles is that they're somewhat challenging. It's a visual thing. But also my hands have to put the puzzle together. So you can't be scrolling on social media and doing a puzzle at the same time.

Or even doing some sort of adult coloring or paint by numbers. It's great to just do those kinds of things to maybe activate other areas of our brain and cultivate some creativity. And that can just create inner peace, stillness, and happiness and joy as well.

Another way to be still or even just giving you an example of what this looks like, I'll give an example from today actually. I was speaking to my landlord, and he's really annoying. Basically, he gives me a tough time for any repair that has to happen in this house. And it always makes me feel anxious. And I had gotten off the phone with him.

And I felt really exasperated and then my five year old was asking me to play something with him. So I literally said, this was slowing down, getting still. I said I need a moment. I'm feeling exasperated. I sat on the couch in front of my son, I closed my eyes.

And I just did a little bit of kind of an impromptu box breathing, which is basically like inhaling to seven or eight, holding for the same and then exhaling for seven or eight counts. And then holding for that amount. It was a little modified.

But I was taking long, deep breaths and I closed my eyes. And then he kept talking to me and I said I'm not done yet, like I will be with you shortly. But it was a way to just regulate myself. Turn into myself. Manage some of that anxiety that was coming up. And also giving my children tools as well. And I teach them these tools but when they see me doing it, then it's an example for them of how they can deal with their negative thoughts and emotions.

So if you get comfortable with sitting still, you're going to become more aware of your triggers or what's going on in In your head, and you will decrease your suffering by slowing down and actually deciding how you want to react instead of having a reflex that maybe you don't want to have.

So that was the stillness in action. So you can see how it's so helpful. And here's some other benefits of stillness. Besides reducing stress, it really creates deeper fulfillment for ourselves personally and professionally. And stillness in relationships, we can connect better with our family and our friends.

And really, there's just so much good that can come from stillness. We can get clarity on what's important to us, what we really want. We can slow down and not have our brains taking over and making us feel anxious or stressed.

We can slow down to enjoy our lives. We can slow down and not jam pack our schedules and actually have some room to breathe, have some space and enjoy that life that we've worked so hard for.

So the constant pursuit of success and doing our best everywhere and being a perfectionist can really lead to burnout and stress and scheduling time for ourselves, having some mindfulness practice, integrating some stillness into our busy lives is really a way to cultivate inner fulfillment, inner peace, and joy. So stillness is an investment in our success personally and professionally.

And actually, one more tip that I forgot to mention today is gratitude practice. So when we're grateful we can take a minute to be still. It helps us to really see the glass half full and we can cultivate that peace of mind and joy.

Now that concludes my tips and my episode on stillness. And really try any or all of the strategies that we talked about today. See how it goes. Let me know.

If you really want to find presence, be centered, enjoy your life, live in alignment, live out your dreams, book a call with me PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. I would love to speak with you. The link is in the show notes and I'm so grateful that you tuned in today. I will talk to you next week.

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Episode 82: Navigating Tough Days: Strategies for Over-Driven Career Moms

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses strategies on how to effectively deal with a bad mood and how to cope with adverse situations. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can overcome the difficult days in order to create peace of mind. Tune in for more on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

How to have bad days and even enjoy them.
To acknowledge your feelings, remember that tough moments pass, and practice mindfulness to navigate through bad days effectively.
Steps to deal with negative thoughts and feelings.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 82. Well, hello there. Thank you so much for tuning in today. And again, happy, happy New Year.

I'm still feeling the rejuvenation of the fresh start of the new year. That's not to say that you should put any added pressure on yourself. And I especially don't like resolutions. But I do love the idea of a fresh start. Of course, you can have a fresh start at any given moment, exactly when you decide to. So just keep that in mind.

But I'm going to get into today's podcast episode, which is really about being in a bad mood and having a bad day, which totally happens, right. And figuring out how to be with what's actually happening, that is really so much of the work that I do inside my coaching program where I help really over driven moms to ditch burnout and exhaustion once and for all in 90 days or less.

And if you want to find out more, definitely check out my free masterclass on four steps to overcome burnout and overwhelmed to get your peace of mind back.

So I'm gonna dive in to how to deal with a bad mood. And it happens. And I call this real talk because I want to talk about the real deal and not sugar coat. And we all have bad days, because life is really 50% good and 50% bad. And yet somehow so many of us are conditioned to believe that life is supposed to be great and wonderful all the time.

But it's really how we cope with the adversity or the situations that come up that are not the best. We can learn how to deal with them, we can learn how to be present with our negative emotions. And that is how we cultivate peace of mind. And that is how we enjoy our lives in spite of having not a great day.

So this episode was actually inspired by my own personal experience. When we take call, we take phone calls at night. And this is just a normal part of medicine where you're on call, you get called in the middle of the night. And for me personally, I need a lot of sleep. I've always been like that. And disruptions in my sleep, definitely I'm not in the best mood when that happens.

So I woke up feeling very unrested and I went to work. And then I was getting nonstop phone calls for various things. It was back to back phone calls, like I would be answering one call and then getting called on another line and then getting paged again. And it was just a lot. And so I was not enjoying that, of course. And then I'm going to see patients and I step in a patient's urine, which that was really gross.

And it was just one of those days. Like, you know, you have those days where you wake up. And there's the saying getting up on the wrong side of the bed. And I was having that kind of a day. And it was funny because I was talking to a nurse and she was telling me oh my god, this is a horrible day. And I said, yeah, totally. I'm not having a good day.

And even actually, when people would ask me, how's it going? How are you? And I would say not great, but it's okay, it's gonna pass. I'm not having the best day, but it's not gonna last forever. And it's totally fine.

And by keeping that in mind, having a lens of this too shall pass. It helped me to not get so sucked into the story that this day is bad. Because the more you say that to yourself, the more you're going to believe it. And the more you're going to feel that way.

As opposed to having a mindset of this is going to pass, this is not going to last forever. And yeah, it's a bad day because life's not perfect. So that is what I did. And today I'm going to teach you how to cope with a bad day.

And here is what most people do. They have one bad thing happen. And then they think that it's going to ruin the whole day, the whole day is going to be crappy or unenjoyable. And often this is compounded by the fact that so many of us, whether we're working hard in our careers or at home, we're always putting the needs of others in front of ourselves.

And all the hard work you're doing is often more based on other people's needs than on your own. And so when you're doing that you're putting everyone else's needs ahead of yours. On a bad day, when really that's a day to be gentle with yourself and care for yourself. You are putting the needs of other people instead of your own and that just makes things worse.

And here's what happens when you do that. Even though you've got the picture perfect life, maybe on Instagram or to other people. It feels like you're drowning on the inside. And in fact, the alarm goes off, you wake up with dread thinking about the 1000 things you have to do for everyone else. You usually come last throughout the day. And you just wish you had a little bit of time for yourself.

And then the bad day is getting worse, because you've got so much to do, and you're not giving yourself any care or compassion. Now, there are 20 ways of dealing with a bad day and tips that work. But I'm gonna give you my favorite ways right now, I don't want to overwhelm you with too much information, but you're gonna have the ability to really turn around the bad day through the following steps.

So tip number one is to really acknowledge your feelings. When you realize that you're having a bad day, it's okay to not be okay. And just take a moment to be with that and validate for yourself that it's okay. You don't have to beat yourself out of a bad day on one hand, but you also don't have to play into it.

Which leads me to tip number two, remembering that this too shall pass, you've had bad days before. And you can have a fresh start at any given moment. So for me the other day, when I stepped in the patient's urine, I felt really aggravated, and I was already kind of cranky.

And so I put on some gloves and grabbed wipes to wipe down my sneakers. And after I did that I decided it was time to have a fresh start for the day. So you can decide to have a fresh start on your bad day. So first, you can acknowledge and then you can also decide to have a do over with your own mood.

Now another thing that's really helpful on a bad day is just to practice mindfulness. And I just find focusing on my breath, focusing on the inhale and then focusing on the exhale. That is really helpful to just get myself out of my own story that I am having a bad day.

And another tip that's helpful is to really delegate tasks if you're feeling overwhelmed. And get your workload off you whether it's at work or at home. You can get help with things and people are often very ready and willing to help more than you think if you ask.

Also another thing to do on a bad day is to find some way to exercise. It doesn't have to be super rigorous. But if you're walking to work, you could park your car really far away. As long as it's not like an icy day and it's safe to walk. You could walk, you can take the stairs, you can do a quick workout.

Something I do when I really know exercising is for the better for me, for a better mindset, better mental health. I will hop on my peloton for a quick workout, either 15 minutes or 20 minutes because it is better than nothing and it makes me feel better.

The next thing to do on a bad day is to really be gentle with yourself and be kind to yourself. You should do this in general. But when you're having a bad day, if you find yourself speaking negatively to yourself, having some negative self talk, really stop yourself in your tracks. And don't let yourself go any further.

We really have to learn to be kind to ourselves. Especially when we're not feeling great. Also connecting with those that we care about or loved ones. I think that is one of the most wonderful ways to really feel grounded, to feel connected and connected to other people, feel like we're not alone. And that can definitely pep up a bad day, having a laugh with a friend.

The next thing I'm going to tell you to do, which is a great tip. And I think this is just great in general is to practice gratitude. To really take a moment to reflect on what is working in your life. It can be as simple as having a roof over your head or appreciating. I love my space heaters in my house. They keep me so warm when it's cold. I can be grateful for that or a nice hot shower. You can listen to music that gets you jazzed up. Or you can just take a moment to breathe, be with yourself, sit quietly and know that this moment is going to pass.

And when you're really feeling terrible, something that's really helpful is to put your hand on your chest and really say to yourself I am okay, I am safe, everything is okay. And remember that this bad day is not going to last forever. This too shall pass. I have been through bad days before and I will see another day that's a great day, if not this one.

And what I found from my recent quote unquote bad day was that the beginning of the day wasn't the best. And I stepped in that patient's urine and I was getting called nonstop. And I just felt like I didn't have a lot of space to breathe in that very, very busy morning.

But by the end of the day, I had used some of these tools. I'd practiced some of these tools, I practiced the mindfulness, I called a friend and I found that the bad day really just faded away. And it was true, it really did pass.

So try at least one of these tips when you're having a bad day. Check out the show notes so you can refer to it when you need in the future. See how it goes and let me know, you can find me on Instagram @DrPrianca and I've helped so many moms who are over driven career moms to ditch burnout and exhaustion for good in 90 days or less.

Hop on a call with me to see if you are someone that I can help too PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. The link is in the show notes. Thanks for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode 81: Mastering Balance: Mindful Living for Career-Driven Moms

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about how to find peace of mind, balance, and presence through the use of mindfulness practices. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can implement these streamlined mindfulness practices in order to gain both physical and psychological benefits that will greatly improve your quality of life. Tune in for more on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

The physical and mental benefits of mindfulness practice.
How to practice mindfulness in only a minute.
Tools to deal with stress and anxiety.
To be present for the moments that matter the most.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 81. Well hello. It is the New Year. Happy, Happy New Year. It's actually New Year's Eve when I'm recording this. But I know when you're listening, we're going to be in the year 2024. And what a fun time to have fresh starts.

I’m not really into resolutions, I feel like they don't work. But I do like a reflection of the past year and really just setting an intention for the new year. So I hope you take time to listen to episode number 77, where I talk about reflecting on the previous year and creating power goals for the following year. So check out that episode if you haven't, to really get yourself off on the right foot for this new year.

And moms in demanding careers just like you, I know you've worked so hard. So you want to enjoy your life. And you've worked so hard. And you just don't want to have to worry about just the mundane things like planning and getting organized for family stuff, and even work stuff. And it just becomes so much all the time.

And the problem is that so many of you out there are creating hyper organized to do lists and creating systems. This might help temporarily, but really, nothing ever changes. And you're not realizing that it's about learning to be present for the moments that matter. And that's what you want.

So how do you find peace of mind and joy? Well, you can try therapy, yoga, self help books. Or, the three N method, which is one of my own personal methods to cultivate presence and mindfulness. And I talked about that in an earlier podcast episode. So check that out episode number 61.

But when it comes to those solutions, how are you going to find the right therapist or find the right yoga studio or how long is it going to take to get yourself to yoga? Well, you can find peace of mind with the mindfulness practices that I talk about because of the ease. And also it doesn't require much time at all.

And when most people think about mindfulness practices, they really believe that they have to meditate for hours and hours. And that takes so much time. And this is not true. And even though it seems like it might take a lot of work to find mindfulness and presence, it doesn't. And why? Because what I talked about is really a streamlined implementable process.

So how do you find peace of mind, balance, and presence? Well, let me show you in this episode. And if you really want to dive more deeply into some of these topics, check out my free masterclass on demand, four steps to overcoming burnout, overwhelm, and exhaustion to finally get your peace of mind back. The link is in the show notes.

So I'm gonna dive in today to really learning how to practice mindfulness. So, so many women are wanting to be mindful, wanting to be present, to be present with their kids, instead of having their minds wander on the to do list, the grocery list, dinner planning. And they then download meditation apps like headspace, which actually I really like or calm. And that's been all the rage, it has been touted as the end all be all for peace of mind and work life balance.

But often meditating every single day just is not manageable for most moms with busy schedules. So no matter how many time management techniques you've used, and you're putting everything on your calendar, you still cannot get everything on your list done. But you continue to run into all of this, that you've made it in your career, you daydream about being with your kids.

But then when you're with your kids, you're thinking about work, and you are never present in your life because you're constantly flip flopping between both. And of course, as you can imagine, when this is happening, you're lacking presence, you are neither here nor there. And you're just all over the place in your brain. And the problem with this is it is just exhausting and draining. And this is what leads to burnout.

So I want to talk a little bit about the benefits of mindfulness. And then I'm going to give you actionable tips to practice mindfulness and really get that presence and pause. So some physical benefits of mindfulness is it creates stress reduction, which really has been shown to lower the production of cortisol, which is a stress hormone.

So if you lower cortisol, you're gonna lower the overall stress levels in your body and you're gonna feel better. Now as you know, I am an internal medicine physician. So when it comes to talking about medicine, or hormones, I am highly trained in this.

And also you get better sleep quality because mindfulness practice trains your brain to not only focus better, but also it promotes a little bit of relaxation. It's going to reduce your mental chatter. And that really helps in falling asleep. And so I always do a relaxation technique starting from my toes up to my head. And as I relax each segment of my body, I usually fall asleep before I can reach my head, it's really helpful.

And then also mindfulness is going to enhance the immune system. So there was a study published in 2012, that showed that the effects of mindfulness based stress reduction, the participants underwent an eight week MBSR Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Program. And they found that the expression of pro inflammatory genes were reduced in individuals who were practicing the mindfulness.

So this right there shows you that you're going to have less inflammation, right, and it's better for your physical health if you can practice mindfulness. It is also helpful in managing chronic pain conditions. And it helps you really hone in on your mind and your body.

And you're not as overtaken with what you're feeling, including pain. And of course, deep breathing, and really learning mindfulness is linked to lower blood pressure. And then you're gonna have improved cardiovascular health.

And in terms of mental wellness and mental health benefits, mindfulness is known to be an amazing stress and anxiety reducer. It really helps people become more aware of their thoughts and feelings, get distance from those thoughts and feelings. That way the stories in our head, and our feelings don't overtake us as much.

And when we can get a little bit of distance from what our brain is doing, this really decreases our suffering. It helps us respond to stressors in a calmer, gentler way. And it also helps with emotional regulation. So really being able to notice the feelings that come up, and feelings are often just a vibration in our bodies.

So squeezing in my throat for me, I really feel a lot of my tension in my throat if I feel anxious or stressed. And when I noticed that I can just say, oh, I have some anxiety coming up. That's all it is. And I don't have to be as freaked out as I would have been five to 10 years ago, before I started practicing mindfulness.

Mindfulness also helps focus and concentration. So you're gonna have better cognitive performance on tasks, which is awesome. It's associated with improved memory, and really just an overall enhanced sense of well being life satisfaction and learning to be in the moment so that your life doesn't pass you by.

So instead of being really busy, not taking a moment to be mindful and missing out on what's important, here's what you do instead. So I'm going to give you four methodologies to practice mindfulness that are quick, simple and easy that you can do instead of sitting and meditating for hours and hours.

So the first method I'm going to talk about is literally acknowledging that there is a body. And I use this one when I am feeling really stressed. I can feel like I want to take action based on an emotion, like especially a highly charged emotion, like if I'm feeling upset or stressed.

Maybe I have the urge to cry, like it's really strong. And I want to take action, I want to make decisions. But I know that I'm way too caught up in the emotion to make a sound and balanced decision.

The first thing I do is say to myself, there is a body. So when I say to myself, there is a body, you remember that you have a body. Because most of the time we are in our heads, and we don't even realize that we do you have a body. And as you do that, you can start to notice your body, notice the pull of gravity. So for me if I'm sitting, like I'm sitting right now, there's a body.

So I notice my feet on the ground. I notice my butt on the chair. I notice my hands on my lap. And I just notice the areas of contact. So there is a body, areas of contact, the weight of gravity. And when you do that, you're going to feel this stability in your body. So that's great because it's really a grounding exercise.

And the goal here is to feel grounded and centered within yourself. And that is one of the most important things when something is upsetting you or you feel like there is chaos around you or you're starting to feel chaos in your own head. There is a body is the number one tool in my toolkit to get ourselves centered and grounded. So there is a body.

Notice the points of contact with the floor or where your hands are, your feet. And then feel the weight of gravity on your body and you're going to feel solid, you're going to feel stable. It's going to center you. But you're also going to get out of your head where all the stories are swirling around and going and making you feel stressed and anxious. Okay, so that is tool number one. I'm actually going to do five tools, because I forgot to talk about my three N method, so I will do that last.

All right, number two. Simply count your breaths. So literally, when you are feeling stressed, you can just count your breath, like count the inhale as one, one, exhale, two, inhaling is one, exhaling is two, you can breathe quietly, three, four, all the way up till 10. And then you start with one again. So counting your breaths, inhaling and exhaling one, two, all the way up till 10.

And then you start with one again. I would do this for about times five, it doesn't take long at all. And if you're focusing on your breath, and notice where your breath is, does it feel like it's in your shoulders, in your chest, or is it your belly. And just observe the rising and falling of the belly as you count your breaths. And this also gets your brain to focus on your breath.

So then you are out of your head, and you're not as married to the stories in your head or feeling these really strong emotions. So this is another one that I use when I'm feeling a little anxious, or I'm feeling a little stressed. And I just simply count my breaths, and it helps to just center and ground me.

The third tip and tool I'm going to give you is box breathing. Now, this is used by I believe the military in stressful situations. So you inhale to a count of seven or eight, you hold for another seven or eight, you exhale for a count of seven, or eight. And then once you exhale, you wait, you count to seven, or eight, and then you inhale again.

And it's box, because if you visualize it, so you've got four steps, each step is an equal count. So it creates a box. And this is really useful if you're getting amped up, you feel like your heart is beating fast. Do this for about a minute or so. And you will find yourself much more calmed down, much more relaxed. And this too, will get you out of your head and more one with your body and your breath. This is a really good one for when you're feeling really amped up and you just want to calm yourself.

Tool number four is to notice what is around you. So when you find yourself, your brain is spinning, you're feeling anxious. You can do something very basic, like if you're inside, look inside the room, notice what's on the wall, notice the curtains on your windows. It's even better if you can get outside and breathe some fresh air. Notice the trees.

And what this does is this helps us to connect with our surroundings and in our environment. And this also gets us out of our heads. Because when we're in our heads, and of course being in our heads is, I mean, it's a great thing in the sense that this has helped us achieve so much. But it also is really the cause of so much of our grief and suffering.

So when we can really learn to work with our monkey mind and our brains, the way they're spinning out. And we can learn that that's just how we function. But instead, work with it and not against it. Right. These are simple tools we can use to really just notice our surroundings and get out of our heads.

Now the last one I'm going to talk about is the three N method, which is my own personal method to cultivate mindfulness in a matter of a few minutes. Now this is a little bit more advanced. I'm gonna go over the first step because the other two steps are a little bit more in depth. And I go into this more in the episode I mentioned on mindfulness. And I also talk about it in my master class.

But the three N method is notice, neutralize, and new. And this is really useful for when you're feeling negative about something, when you're feeling upset. Simply notice. Notice what's going on, notice what's going on in your body. If you're feeling anxious, what is it? Where is it? Qualify it, quantify it in your body.

So notice, and then once you notice, you're gonna get that distance, and you can neutralize it and then the last step is really to create a new thought. But I want you to focus on noticing. Because as you notice, and you become aware, which is really the first step in this work, you create awareness, you're going to get the distance that you need to cultivate inner peace and presence.

Now, I just talked about how these tools can help you when you're feeling stressed or anxious or get you out of a negative cycle. But they're also really useful in creating presence. To be present in the moments when you want to be there. So this is true, especially for when you're spending some precious moments with your children.

So if you have younger children, and you do a bedtime routine, and you notice yourself obsessing about work, or the grocery list or dinner, while you're supposed to be reading stories, and your brain isn't even there, you can use any of the tools that we talked about today. So for example, if your mind is wandering when you want to be present in an important moment.

Or just savoring time with your family, your friends, or your children. You can literally just focus on your body, say there is a body and notice your body and breathe.

Or this is not a tool that I mentioned, but really easy to do. Just focus on your breath. It's kind of like counting your breaths, but just notice the inhale and notice the exhale. And as you do that, it really brings you in to yourself, centers yourself, you're going to ground yourself, and you're going to be present.

So these mindfulness techniques that I talked about today, they're ways to calm yourself, decrease your suffering, deal with any negative thoughts or emotions. So that's an amazing thing, right? Like that's what we want.

Because then we're going to feel less exhausted, less burned out.

But the other piece of this is it really helps us to be present in the moments that matter. And that's where we start to be present, take hold of our lives. We don't have to let life pass us by and we can start to enjoy everything that we've worked so hard for.

Now, I have helped countless professional moms like yourself reduce their stress and anxiety, ditch burnout once and for all in 90 days or less through working with me.

And to see if you're someone that I can help too, book a call with me PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. The link will be in the show notes. Thank you so much for tuning in. I am wishing you the best of years this year, and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode 80: Breaking the Burnout Cycle: Strategies for Professional Moms to Find Peace Inspired by Children's Resilience

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses how professional women can draw inspiration from childhood behaviors to combat burnout and enhance life satisfaction. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can utilize childlike wonder to increase your happiness and reduce exhaustion. Tune in for more on this topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

How to embrace curiosity and playfulness.
Finally be present.
Celebrate yourself.
Have more fun.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

https://buy.stripe.com/cN22c8cWH4Aq0KsdQT

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 80. Well, hello there, I hope you are doing so well. And I'm so glad to have you here listening with me today. I actually have a special episode planned. Happy holidays. And this is the last episode before the New Year.

And today I want to talk about the magic of Christmas time and the holiday time. So if you're a professional mom who is exhausted every day, you might be stuck in the daily grind dread trap. And if you're stuck here, you likely have a successful career that you're proud of. But almost daily, you're filled with guilt, because you cannot show up for your family in the way that you want.

You're bogged down by the daily grind, going from day to day feeling like life is just passing you by. And you don't even remember the last time that you felt joy or being present in the moment. You're probably exhausted from wrapping gifts for your kids.

And the reason this is happening is whether you're working at home or in your career, you're always working hard putting the needs of others in front of your own. And all the hard work you're doing is more based on other people's needs than your own. And I have been there because I am a physician. I'm an internal medicine physician and mom of two.

So I know. I used to be a workaholic. And you want to make a change in your life. But sometimes just any change feels like more work and you just don't even want to start. And to fix this, you've probably tried therapy or counseling and it helped for a little while but overall you still don't feel better. Or you're listening to self help books by Brene Brown or Glennon Doyle trying to find a better way but there's no change in your life.

If this is you, do not worry. I have helped countless professional moms just like you because I've been in your shoes. And I still practice medicine. And so I do know about managing so many things but still finding my peace of mind and joy. Book a call with me PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me.

Or even check out my free masterclass on demand four steps to overcome burnout and overwhelm for good to finally get your peace of mind back. Links for both are in the show notes.

Now I'm actually recording this on Christmas Day. And it has been such a wonderful holiday season because I went to my mother's house for Thanksgiving, she threw Thanksgiving for my entire family. And it was just really great to be around all of my cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. And I hadn't really seen some of them since before COVID hit. So that was lovely.

And then since then, my cousins and I have hung out a couple of times. So it's like a lot of hanging out with family in a concentrated time. And also connecting with dear friends for dinners around the holidays. It's just been wonderful. And yesterday, I actually hosted a bunch of my cousins at my home. And this was my first time hosting. And it was just great to have everyone there and be together. It was a nice time and it felt really good.

And then today, I actually got to see another dear friend of mine from residency. The morning of course, was opening up gifts with my children. And that was absolutely fantastic and inspired the material for this episode actually. I had some other topics in mind, but I'll save that for next week.

This kind of came to me when I've just really been enjoying and been so happy during the holidays. And I will say this is probably my best holiday so far in the past four years. The last three years were not as easy and great. But I'm just happy to be here. So that's why I wanted to talk about it.

And one thing that really struck me which is the topic of today's episode is the magic of the holiday season. The magic of Christmas and the Christmas tree and the idea of Santa. And what I want you to take away from this episode is really what we can learn from our children and how we can adapt the lens that they have on life.

And so many of those things, the way we saw things when we were kids, we lose them as we grow up. And I know that we all have way more responsibilities than when we were children. But I do think there's a way to be an adult, be responsible, but at the same time really embody the magic and wonder of being a child. And it's how kids see Christmas.

So what I really noticed in my kids, especially my older one who's five and a half, is that he just had so much wonder and appreciation. I got this very real, very large Christmas tree and when he saw it in my home for the first time, he just gasped and he went oh, and it was literally one of the best things he'd ever seen.

And we just take so many things for granted because they're not first for us. But there is so much beauty in a Christmas tree. And so that just got me thinking that we need to do more of that. We need to have magic and wonder and really appreciate the regular things. And the next thing that children do, which we lose as adults is they have so much sense of possibility and belief.

And the fact that they just believe in the magic of Christmas, and they believe in Santa Claus, but they also believe that they can do anything. They have big hopes and dreams. And things happen to us along the way in our journeys that harden us, or make us lose belief in ourselves.

And then we have limiting beliefs, which is really a belief that's not serving you, but you believe it is fact. And it limits you in what you can do. And these limiting beliefs hold us back so much, and they are thieves of joy.

And because of them, we hold ourselves back, and we stop making our dreams come true. And we stop believing. And that is something that children automatically, naturally embody. And we need to take a cue and do more of that.

The next thing that children do that we need to do more of is they have inherent intuition, and they believe it. And so many of us, we're all intuitive, and we quiet down our intuition, we ignore it. And often as we become adults, we just don't even realize we have it.

And if we can actually quiet down the noise in our brains and tap into our intuition, the intuition that we had as children, even, then we can really make decisions in alignment and save ourselves a lot of trouble. And I say this because I myself was always really intuitive as a child, and even teenager. And then I went through a phase where I just didn't believe in it, I lost it.

And I realized that not listening to the voice inside of me really caused me pain in certain areas of my life. And so now at 40, I no longer ignore that voice. And I really just follow my intuition and life goes so much more smoothly. And so that is really something to tap into.

So think about and really just sitting in silence for a few minutes at a time or every day, you can just be quiet and see what comes to you. Because most of the time we're addicted to our phones, we're over scrolling on social media, scrolling on our phones, online shopping, online grocery shopping, or even Netflixing too much. So just think about doing some of that. Kids do that. And we need to also embrace that intuition.

The next thing kids do that we also need to do more of is telling the truth, kids are so honest, and it is so adorable, and sometimes funny. And I know we don't want to hurt other people's feelings.

But I think just being really honest with people is one of the best ways just to be straightforward and not play games. And we don't have to hurt people. But we can definitely honor our own truth and speak up, especially when it's appropriate. So telling the truth.

Another thing we can do is embrace creativity. Kids are so creative and imaginative. And we just do not do this enough. As adults, we get so cerebral, and we just lose that sense of fun.

So this could be anything. It could be writing or coloring or creating art, just a way to channel some creativity. Because kids are doing this all the time. My own kids will literally sit at my kitchen table and they will do coloring or arts and crafts for hours and hours.

Another major concept that I've spoken about in the past is self love. And this really is a key pillar and component of inner peace, the good life. And children love themselves so so much and they value themselves.

And whatever happens along the way that maybe starts to crush that and then they doubt themselves. But self love, loving ourselves and giving ourselves compassion and being proud of ourselves. That is something that we should mimic that children do.

The other topic that I want to mention when it comes to how kids see things is time and deadlines. They literally have no concept of deadlines, no concept of time. And we're busy yelling at our kids to brush their teeth, get out the door on time, again, brushing their teeth, get to bed on time, right and we have our agenda.

We have our deadlines, and they don't know and they don't care. Meanwhile, we're driving ourselves crazy to get places on time. And time of course is a false construct. So I just wonder if we just adapted this attitude, I'm not saying we have to do it 100%. But let go a little bit on our time stuff.

Imagine how liberating that might be, and how that would reduce our stress and our anxiety. So the next time that you're rushing either your kids or yourself, take a deep breath and think about how it really doesn't matter in the scheme of things.

We can also embrace curiosity, just like children. Because they just are naturally curious, always asking questions, soaking up things like sponges. And we can also do the same thing by asking more questions. Maybe doing things differently than how we were raised. That's a big one. But even on a smaller level, we could explore a new hobby or interest outside of work and really get our brains going in a different way.

Playfulness is another concept that we should adapt from children, because children, they engage in play as a way to learn and have fun. And if we're able to incorporate a playful attitude into daily life, then this can truly help us combat burnout and exhaustion.

And the easiest way to do this is really finding humor in everyday life and situations. Another thing that kids do is they're really present, and they're living in the present moment immersed in whatever they're doing. And really being mindful. And they're not worrying so much about the future. Because they don't have the responsibility of that.

And so for us, really being present in the most important moments, the present moment, engaging in what we're doing is one of the greatest ways to really combat burnout and exhaustion as well. But that is one of the number one things that we should adapt from children.

And to learn more about this, definitely tune in to one of my podcast episodes on mindfulness. And the last thing that we can be doing that is similar to what kids do is really celebrating the small achievements. And they learn to celebrate so many small things. And that's amazing and that really contributes to positivity and feeling fulfilled.

So that is something that we can do more of and help ourselves truly find joy every single day. So take one of these and make an intention to practice one of the things I talked about today in the new year and see how much happier you will be.

And if you are sick of burnout and exhaustion and you really want to do the deep work to heal the next generation of healing for the new year. Book a call with me, PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. And actually this week, I will have more spots to talk because I'm off work and I'm hanging at my parents house and I will have some free time.

And I would love to talk to you to really dive into what is going on with you and make a plan to get you out of burnout once and for all in 90 days or less. Thank you so so much for tuning in. And I will talk to you next week which is in the new year.

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Episode 79: Finding Balance Beyond Therapy with the Happy Mom Method

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about how coaching can benefit you in finding work-life balance in a different way than therapy can. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how coaching can give you a way to create a concrete plan to get you out of burnout and exhaustion faster than therapy can. Tune in for more on this topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

How therapy helps but takes a long time
How to get out of the ‘Daily Grind Dread Cycle’
How to get transformational results in a shorter period of time
Tangible tools to find more balance

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

https://buy.stripe.com/cN22c8cWH4Aq0KsdQT

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 79. Hi there, everybody, I am so glad to have you listening here today to this podcast episode. We are just wrapping up, I was gonna say the old year, which sounds weird. So let's just say that we are approaching the new year where a lot of us feel a renewed sense of self.

And we want to have a fresh start to all that we might want to achieve in 2024. And I know for a lot of you that is finding balance or finding work life balance. And so many of my clients want this too.

In fact, one of my clients, she was telling me that she found therapy. And she did it for a really long time, because she felt unhappy and unfulfilled, especially in her role of being a mom. She's a high power pharma exec. But she found basically, she had two problems with therapy.

One was that it was very expensive, and that it wasn't really covered by insurance, which happens, I think, to a lot of people. And also it was super time consuming. And then it really takes years to see the effect of therapy. So that's really what made her try coaching.

She found that within just a few months of working with me, she had her transformation and was really able to figure out finding happiness, peace of mind and balance her demanding work life along with her home life and responsibilities as a mom. And that coaching really provided tangible solutions for her that really therapy had not.

And I bring this all up because today I want to dive into the concept of coaching versus therapy in finding work life balance, or just finding a more balanced life. Maybe you've tried therapy, and it's helped for a little while. But overall, you still don't feel better. And here's what's happening to most people, when they're experiencing the following problems. You've got the successful career you're proud of.

But almost daily, you're filled with guilt, because you just can't show up for your family in the way that you want. And even though you've made it in your career, you daydream about being with your kids when you're at work. But then you're thinking about work when you're at home, and you're never present in your life because you're constantly flip flopping between the two.

Or when you make plans for fun when you're not working, these plans cause you to feel even more tired, more overwhelmed, and you don't get the sense of peace, rest or balance. And it's so frustrating. Because on paper, you've got everything that you've worked for personally and professionally, but you're still unfulfilled, you're still not happy, and you definitely don't feel balanced.

So often people will look for therapy or to find a therapist to solve this problem. And here's what happens, sometimes the therapist is a good fit, but sometimes the therapist isn't, and then that's kind of an issue because then you have to really go therapist shopping. And then maybe even couples therapy, which is great.

It's good to have a neutral party to mediate and bounce ideas off and have a different set of eyes and ears on your marriage or your situation. But even that doesn't necessarily give you the solution that your marriage needs. And then in therapy, sometimes you just wish that your therapist would be more prescriptive, but he or she isn't.

And a lot of my clients complain that their therapy sessions really turn into vent sessions. And though that's helpful to be able to vent things out, they don't really leave with concrete solutions, and they don't feel themselves finding transformation. And many of us have walked the path of therapy just to help us navigate our brains.

And of course, therapists do offer a safe space if you find the right fit. But it can be a challenge to find the right fit. And the journey through therapy can leave us with insights about our past. But then often, why does it feel like sometimes we're stuck in a never ending cycle of venting. And then maybe even after years of therapy, you might have a better idea of how your childhood has affected where you are today. Or also like what got you here.

But you're still left feeling exhausted and you don't know how to enjoy the now. You don't know how to even get from now to where you want to be. So really, here's what I really believe needs to be done instead: coaching. Because this really starts with an awareness. Awareness is the first step of all of this work. And it's basically an awareness of the stories that are going on in your brain.

So what is our brain telling us and really being aware of that and in tune with that. And then once we realize what our brain is telling us, we can make an active choice and we can decide do we want to play into the story, do we want to feed into the story? And really part of the work inside my coaching program is where you learn about the stories, the narratives that you're telling yourself and recognizing what's going on.

So questioning these narratives and deciding what we want to do with them. That really is the step of breaking free from the cycle of what I like to call the cycle of the daily grind dread, and gaining clarity on our thought patterns that really end up shaping and creating the experience of our lives.

So this cycle of daily grind dread is really something that so many women and moms in demanding careers, they are suffering from it. Where you're waking up in the morning, you're exhausted, your alarm goes off, you're not rested, you got to jump out of bed, get your kids ready for school, out the door, maybe get to school on time, get to work, and then it's go go go in the grind during the day.

You come home, you've got the chores or chauffeuring your kids around, maybe getting dinner on the table, and then you're so exhausted at night. Maybe you're scrolling on your phone, while you're Netflixing at the same time, and you stay up too late watching Netflix, and then you go to bed, not having gotten enough sleep to wake up and do it all over again. And this is just no way to live.

There has to be more, in fact, forget there has to be, there is more to life than this. And it's really through doing the deep work, healing yourself. Not bandaid solutions, which often therapy can be and doing the work to get yourself out of that cycle of the daily grind dread. And really getting clarity on what's happening in your brain and what you're going to do about it. So how do we figure out these stories?

Well take a moment to reflect on major events in your life. I want you to take a moment to do this. And really, I would pause this podcast episode or come back to it later if you're driving or walking or running and think about the major effects in your life, both positive and negative, and make a list.

And then once you have the list, look at each event and really think about the thought that you have related to each event. For example, for me getting into medical school, that was a huge achievement in my life, that was a huge event. Or maybe that is for you, what were the underlying thoughts and narratives that propelled you forward. So for me, it was that I can do anything I put my mind to. And knowing that that is a story, that is a narrative that's helpful. And I can use that and move forward with it.

Versus if there's maybe a negative event with a negative story behind it, we can become aware of that. And conversely, we can decide to drop that story and not play into it because it's not helpful. So understanding these stories is really the first step towards either carrying them on because we want to and this is all with intention. We're living a life with intention and having intentionality.

So we're being intentional with carrying the story forward, because it's helpful. Or in dropping the story and maybe creating a new one, if it's not helpful. And this is especially, you're gonna see this in the negative events. And one of the key advantages of coaching in breaking the cycle of the daily grind, dread.

So one of the key advantages to coaching is that it focuses on action. And it's really about getting ourselves out of this loop of monotony. So meaning this loop of monotony is what keeps us in this daily grind dread cycle, and we can't break free. But coaching helps us identify the stories that's really holding us back and replace them with empowering narratives.

And this is a proactive approach that really moves beyond vent sessions and actually offers tangible strategies to create lasting change. So getting out of the daily grind that dread cycle is really the happy professional mom method, the happy mom method. And we learn to have alignment and mindfulness and empowering ourselves so that eventually we can really enjoy our time with our kids.

Enjoy the trips that we plan, truly be present with them. Have the balance, have peace of mind. And this is all possible. And the reason I really do this work is to help moms like yourself, get out of the daily grind dread to really create the life that they want for themselves. A dream life in fact, one that really aligns with what they see for themselves because I want to make sure that you don't have regrets when you die.

And you're really making the most of this life and enjoying and being present for the majority of your life. To be a happier mom professional, have happier partners, husbands or wives. And happier kids, which really makes a happier world. And as a physician, I'm still practicing medicine.

But I have been there in the full time daily grind dread and one day was just bleeding into the next until I had my awakening when I became a mother and I just knew that I wanted to create a different and better atmosphere for my child. And that is what brought me into this work and that is why I do what I do.

And I heal people in a different way. I am a healer of course, because that's just what physicians are, but I get to heal people. I get to help women like you and really feel like I'm making a positive impact on this world.

So if you too want to learn more and see if you're dealing with issues like this, and they sound familiar book a call with me, PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me to see if you're someone that I can help too. Thank you so much for tuning in today and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode 78: Self-Care is the Worst Way to End Burnout and Exhaustion

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses how self-care is not the end all be all when it comes to treating exhaustion and burnout. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about why self-care isn’t actually all it’s made out to be and some techniques on how you can truly relieve exhaustion. Tune in for more on this topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

Why self-care doesn’t solve exhaustion and burnout
Common mistakes made by busy professional moms and what to do instead.
The deeper work required:
true energization comes from addressing internal struggles and challenges rather than relying solely on external self-care activities.
The power of self-love:
Highlighting the significance of self-love as a transformative tool for overcoming burnout.
Sharing personal experiences and client anecdotes illustrating the profound impact of integrating self-love into one's life.
Practical tips for cultivating self-love:
Drawing inspiration from the book "Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It" by Kamal Ravikant.
Practical tips for cultivating self-love, including daily affirmations, consistent habits, positive visualizations, and selective social circles.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

https://buy.stripe.com/cN22c8cWH4Aq0KsdQT

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 78. Hello, how are you? I hope you're doing well. I am so happy to have you listening to today's podcast episode. It is freezing here in the Northeast. So I have maybe been doing a little bit of retail therapy, grabbing cozier and warmer sweaters. And I restarted my newly rental, I have no affiliation with them, just to have some variety in my wardrobe.

But yeah, I think last winter was a lot milder, it wasn't as cold as soon so it's been chilly here in the North East. But the fun part of that is the holidays are approaching. I actually just got my very first real Christmas tree, please don't judge me. I know it's not good for the environment.

But I love the smell. And it was a big deal for me to get my own tree. And I'm super excited. It just came last night, it was delivered. And now I get to decorate it with my kids. And it's going to be a beautiful holiday season.

So today I want to talk about really the concept of self care. Is it really the way to energize yourself in the long run? I don't think so. Because we've all been told about self care for a really long time. It's been pushed on us as the antidote to burnout.

And if that were the case, then everyone who gets mani pedis would just be out of exhaustion and burnout and energized, right? So here's what most women who are in survival mode, in demanding careers, who are exhausted do when they're, let's say, proud of their careers, but daily, they're filled with guilt, because they're not showing up for their family in the way that they want or making plans for fun.

When they're not working they feel even more overwhelmed, never getting a sense of peace or balance. And it's really frustrating because on paper, they have everything that they've worked for personally and professionally. Or when you get home after a long hard day of work, there's still emails or charts pending that you can't separate work from home.

And then during storytime with your kids, you don't even know what you're reading. You want to be present, but your brain is spinning in a million directions thinking about your to do list and all the work that's piling up, right. So people with these problems are often trying more self care. And so many professional women are getting mani pedis, they're getting massages every once in a while.

And though these things are great, it's good to pamper ourselves, it's great to take a break and just be alone or get a mani pedi with a friend. But in terms of solving the issue of burnout and exhaustion, these tactics just don't work. And the reason is that getting a mani pedi or getting a massage, that lasts for an hour, maybe two. You feel a little bit relaxed for a couple of hours.

But then it's back to either work at your job or work at home. Getting stuff done, being the default parent, or functioning as a single parent or being a single parent. Whether it's arranging the kids lessons, their extracurricular activities, childcare, or trying to plan a night with friends. So trying the self care stuff, it doesn't work.

And so women continue to run into these problems, because self care is really temporary. And the only way to truly be energized, to truly be less exhausted, is to heal from the inside out. To do the work on the inside. And you may be wondering, how do I do this, right.

And so of course, this is a lot of the work that we do inside my coaching program overcome burnout for good, but I want to let you in on what I believe is the crux of this work, to really having a life filled with inner peace and joy.

And the first step to this besides having a vision and living a life with intention, which I've talked about before. Maybe not the first step, but another major pillar of this is to learn how to love yourself. And I say learn because I think all kids love themselves.

And I see this in my children how, especially when they're babies, they have such a fascination with themselves and starting from when they're newborns, they love looking in the mirror. And then they are just really pleased with themselves and they love themselves and it's incredible. And then we were probably like that, and then life does its number on us. And then we begin to accommodate other people's needs above our own.

We learn to people please and we lose sight of how magical, how wonderful we are. And so loving yourself. It really will have the most profound effect on your life. And it's a wonderful example to set for children as well. So when you start to ask yourself the question of what would I do if I loved myself, it really starts bringing so much clarity to areas where you may be having confusion.

And I know a client of mine, she was really struggling in her marriage. And through doing the self love work, she was able to leave a very toxic and abusive situation. But it was learning to love herself that helped her to face her fears and leave him. So it's so powerful, this work.

Now, you could use self love on a much more basic level. But it does make decisions a lot clearer. So we really have to decide that we're going to reteach ourselves to love ourselves.

So a couple of years ago, I read a book by Kamal Ravi Kahn, and I hope to have him on the podcast in the new year. And his book is called Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It. And it really talks about the power of self love. And he talks about his own personal journey, which hopefully he'll be on the podcast talking about that which will be great. And he gives a few tips.

Now his tips are as follows. Repeating the mantra of I love myself, just all the time and this affirmation to remind yourself to love yourself. And really shifting in replacing negative thoughts with more positive affirmations. Making self love a daily habit and being consistent with this, be it through meditation, affirmations, or just something you do every day.

And visualizing a positive future. So envisioning a life with self compassion and positive energy. As well as letting go of negative influences, and being really picky about who you're surrounding yourself with. N

ow, I read this book a couple of years ago, and it most certainly transformed my life. And then I was talking to an energy reader. I am into a lot of manifestation. And I've gotten very much into energy. And she told me to focus on self love. So I decided to get back into my self love practices, meaning, after I read his book, I really learned to love myself and make decisions in that light.

But I decided to take that practice one step further and cultivate a daily ritual. So actually, the first time I decided to do this, I looked in the mirror, and I told myself, I love you. And it was really awkward. And it felt really weird. And it freaked me out. Like it felt really strange.

And what's interesting about this is it was actually really hard to do, which makes me realize that loving ourselves isn't second nature. And it's something that we have to sort of teach ourselves to do again.

So come up with a ritual of self love for yourself that you can practice. It doesn't have to be like what I'm talking about here today, it can be anything that you feel is a good self love practice. The concept of looking into the mirror and saying I love you, you're lovable just for being you. It's similar to Mel Robbins, high five habit where you look in the mirror, you look yourself in the eye, and you give yourself a high five.

And similarly, it's just looking in the mirror and making eye contact with yourself. And even though you might be looking in the mirror when you're putting on your serums or your makeup, it's very different when you're looking in the mirror and you're actually being a friend to yourself. So try that and you'll see that at first it's really awkward, it feels very unnatural.

It might not even feel great and it can be a little confusing, but as you keep practicing it, it becomes less awkward. And you really start to embody that concept of loving yourself.

So that is one way that you can really energize yourself for long term success as opposed to the band aid solutions like self care mani pedi and massages. I'm not saying that they're not good but they really are a simple Band Aid fix for feeling chronically exhausted or being in survival mode.

And to dive deeper into this work, book a call with me, PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. I've helped so many professional moms with these types of problems and see if you're someone that I can help too. Check it out. And thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode 77: 2023 Recap & Power Goals for 2024

In this episode, Dr. Prianca Naik talks about ending the year off strong by reflecting on the prior year and planning for the year ahead. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can head into the new year with clear priorities and understand what you want to bring into 2024. Tune in for more on this topic.

In this episode, you will learn how to:

Practice a year-end reflection
Shift your brain to appreciate all you’ve done
Set Intentions for 2024

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

https://buy.stripe.com/cN22c8cWH4Aq0KsdQT

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 77. Hi, everyone. Thank you so much for tuning in today. Nothing lights me up more than doing these podcast episodes. I love it so much. I used to love giving unsolicited advice back in the day, no one wanted to hear it.

So I think this podcast is my special way of really using everything I've learned and all the work I've done on myself and streamlining that. It took me a lot longer than the tips I offer to you. But everything that I've learned, I put it on this podcast, knowing that it's going to help you.

Maybe you're stressed at work because you're dealing with clients or patients all day long, you're not getting a break because when you go home, it's go go go with the kids activities or getting dinner on the table. And you're helping everyone else all day long, except for yourself. And this leaves you feeling exhausted, burned out and depleted.

So if you want to be out of burnout for good, check out my free masterclass four steps to overcoming overwhelm and burnout, finally get your peace of mind back. The link is in the show notes.

Today, I wanted to share with you something that I do every single year towards the end of the year. And as I approach the following year, I have been doing this I believe since 2020. And I really wanted to share it with you my own special end of the year reflection.

And if you want a copy of the questions, feel free to message me on at Doctor Prianca on Instagram, that link is there too in the show notes. So here we go.

So let's just go over a year end reflection and some of the things to think about. And I record this on a Word document and save it on my computer. And then what's really fun is I get to compare the various years and see all the progress I make each year.

And it's so important to keep in mind all of the great things that we are doing because we just tend to be perfectionists, and therefore we end up focusing on what's not working or what we did imperfectly or what we're not doing right. And that just leads to unhappiness.

So the more we can actually take time out because it's not natural to do this. But take and make the time to see how much we've grown, assess the past year, we learn from our mistakes. And then we make new goals for the following year. And I just love this organizing life or just having some structure and intention.

And I'm going to tell you that I literally just went over my goals for 2023. And I would say I hit 80 to 85% of those goals. There were some big ones that I haven't achieved yet. But I shall transpose it to my new document as I think about 2024. I do really believe that we can all make our dreams come true. I don't care how cheesy that sounds, I fully believe in it.

So hopefully you agree too and don't think that's completely kooky. But I really believe that we can think about something, we have a dream in mind, we put it out there in the universe, and we are smart and capable women, so we can truly make anything happen. Truly, anything we decide we get to make our dreams a reality.

And the only caveat I will mention for that though, is that sometimes our dreams take longer to realize than we want them to because the universe doesn't work like that. But I do know that your dream will come true. As long as you don't give up on yourself. You gotta bet on yourself and go for it. Alright, that's enough of that soapbox.

So now when we're thinking about 2023, here are some things to reflect on. And I would definitely listen to this when you can actually make a note or take notes and not while you're driving. Or pause if you need to think about the answers to some of these questions. So really reflecting on what worked and what went well. What did I create? This can be a feeling, this can be a trip, this can be an experience, this can be anything, what did you create? How did I grow as a person?

And there's so much that you've probably grown in your life this past year, and you don't even realize it. Think about how you interact with your family, or your friends, or patients, or clients, or people at work? How has that changed? How have you matured?

Which goals from last year did you achieve? And which ones did you achieve, and why and how? And which ones did you not achieve? And why didn't you achieve them? Or how are you on your way to achieving the goals that you did not achieve from last year? I think that's actually a better question. How are you on your way? So what did not go well?

What would you do differently if you could reflect back on this year? What were some major moments? What were some major milestones? What were some incredible memories from this year? And for me, I turned 40 this year so that was a special milestone for me and memory as well. And I was able to make a dream of mine come true for that also, so I'm really happy when I look back on that for 2023.

What are you proud of? This could be your qualities. This could be habits that you've cultivated. This could be something you've achieved in your career, this could be something you've done as a mom, something you're just doing for your mental health. Have you run a marathon? I mean, so many things we can be proud of. And we can be proud of really small things too, like doing handiwork at home by ourselves.

What were some of your very, very best moments that make you smile, make you laugh, put a giant grin on your face? What was fun? What was the most fun that you had? What were some serious fun times where you were being goofy? I think for me it's when I'm dancing. So I think about those moments, and that's when I feel the most carefree. So that's the most fun for me.

What felt hard? What was hard last year? And I think it's good to look at this because it's okay to feel like things are hard. It's okay, we get to give ourselves grace to feel some of the more negative parts of life. Because life really is 50/50. And the more we can embrace the messiness of it all, the less we suffer, I think, because you realize, hey, this is just part of the course that's going to pass.

Which areas were difficult? So what were some major challenges? This is sort of similar to what felt hard. So what were challenges? And then when you think about the challenges, what did you learn from these challenges?

How am I different than I was a year ago? This is a great one. And when I look at this one, I feel so proud of myself thinking about how I'm different in how I was a year ago. What are some serious lessons that you've learned from 2023?

Come up with three to five words or phrases to describe 2023. For me, I have gratitude, freedom and growth. What are you the most grateful for in 2023? So it's always good to reflect. And I highly suggest doing this every December, really reflecting on the year.

So now that we've reflected, we can move on to 2024. So what are three major things you want to focus on in 2024, and it can be broad. Once you come up with those, what are habits that you already have that you want to continue in 2024? So for me, I increased my working out in 2023. I used to work out probably three to four days a week, and now I'm closer to four to six. So I work out more.

But I basically maintained that habit and continued it. I wanted to meditate regularly, I'd fallen off the wagon at some point. So I want to continue my meditation, I want to continue the mindfulness, I want to continue reading, these are all things I've always done. I started getting into manifestation stuff, and the universe and energy and all this kind of fun, more woowoo stuff at the end of 2022 and beginning of 2023. So I'd like to continue those habits.

And then if you have any new habits that you want to develop, add those. I think for me, I'm maxed out on my habits right now. But you've got room if you want to add something new. How do I want to challenge myself in 2024? So I challenge myself in 2024 to do the following. So come up with some goals that you have. In 2024, I want to prioritize the following relationships. In 2024, this is my purpose.

So mine, for example, is self love and spread joy to others through myself and the work that I do. So it can be really anything that you want, any mantra. Then list just any goals or generalized things that you want to achieve. And then reflect on for 2024 success looks like. So put that in there.

In envisioning your ideal year ahead, what do you want? Think about what you want in your personal life, your professional life, for yourself, and how do you want to feel? And I think when you have an idea of how you want to feel, and you have that word in mind, you can also convert that word, how you want to feel, to your theme for 2024. I believe my theme for this year was fun. And I think I did have a lot of fun this year.

Now if you need a hard copy and hand out of this just again, message me at DoctorPrianca on Instagram and I will email it to you no problem. In case listening to this, you're more of a visual learner, and you need to see the stuff. But this gives you a lot of homework for your year end reflection along with coming up with 2024 goals.

I don't believe in resolutions really, I think people lose steam on those and then they forget about them. But I do find that when I reflect and I write things down in this way, I do end up sticking to it. And also it's a great way to just manifest by writing stuff down. And you make a list of things that you want and a lot of times if you're open the universe will present that to you. So see how that goes. And I know that it is going to be a great exercise for you to do before we hit 2024.

Now if you're feeling like when you get home after a long day of work, there's still a bajillion emails pending or charts pending, you can't separate work from home. Then during storytime with your kids, you don't even know what you're reading. You want to be present but your brain is just spinning in a million different directions thinking about your work and your to do lists piling up so you're exhausted and you're not enjoying your life.

If that's the case, book a call with me to learn more about working with me, to be out of burnout and exhaustion for good in 90 days or less. PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. Link is in the show notes. Thank you so much for tuning in this week and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode 76: People-Pleasing Trap: Why Women Are Prone and How to Break Free for Work-Life Joy

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses the topic of people pleasing and why women may be more susceptible to this phenomenon. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can stop people pleasing and take back control of your life. Tune in for more on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

Understanding the Roots: Explore why people-pleasing is ingrained from a young age and how early conditioning impacts our adult behaviors.
Power Dynamics: Uncover how seeking external approval can unwittingly give away our power, using real-life examples from professional settings.
The Narrative Shift: Learn to detach from others' opinions by understanding that their views are often shaped by their own stories, not a true reflection of your worth.
Personal Journey: Delve into a personal story of overcoming people-pleasing, including struggles, self-discovery, and the transformative power of saying "no."
Practical Solutions: Equip yourself with actionable tips, including setting boundaries, practicing self-awareness, embracing constructive criticism, and surrounding yourself with a supportive network.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

https://buy.stripe.com/cN22c8cWH4Aq0KsdQT

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms Podcast, episode number 76. Well, hello there. Thank you so much for tuning in today. I am very excited to dive into a topic that really affects so many of us and can have such a profound impact on our work life balance and overall joy. And that is the topic of people pleasing.

So I'm going to give you powerful tips and solutions for you to deal with this towards the end of this episode. And if you really want to dive deeper into this work and be out of burnout and exhaustion to truly enjoy your life again, because you deserve to, book a call with me. PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me to get started.

So the holidays and family dynamics really had me thinking. It had me reflecting on the person that I am today versus who I was about maybe five years ago, or even 10 years ago. And just having done this work and thinking about how I operate today, as opposed to how I was functioning in the past with my family, it made me realize that I so desperately wanted to be approved of by my extended family members.

And honestly, I don't even see them that much. I see them pretty sparingly. So putting all this weight on what they thought of me and my life, so interesting, when it really doesn't come into play on a day to day basis. So hence the thought of people pleasing. I found myself really just behaving in alignment with my own life in integrity. I didn't feel like I needed to prove myself in the past, I would have talked a ton about how I meditate and how I do all this stuff and humble bragging about all that and I chose not to because I don't need to prove anything to anybody.

And really at the end of the day, the most important approval that we should have is with ourselves. Having our own approval. So people pleasing is really a common behavior that many of us engage in, especially if you struggle with saying no or setting boundaries, or constantly seeking approval from others. If that resonates with you, any of those behaviors, then you may be a people pleaser. So this episode is especially for you.

Let's start exploring why we become people pleasers in the first place. So the root of this behavior can really be traced to our childhood. And as toddlers, we learn that performing well, hitting those milestones will earn us praise. And as we progress through school, our grades sometimes depend on what our teachers think of us.

So this really sets the stage for seeking external validation. And then it continues into adulthood with maybe how your colleagues see you or how your boss sees you, and really wanting them to know how talented you are or what a hard worker you are.

So it's really critical that we recognize that this is happening and to realize that worrying about what other people think of us and trying to control their opinion of us and wanting them to like us when not everyone is going to like us, understanding that concept is so key in increasing our own sense of inner peace and also just joy because people pleasing is a time waste and it is a waste of energy. And it's tiring, and it's a joy thief.

So this pattern of seeking external validation is especially prevalent in work settings, as I mentioned. I want to touch upon why men don't seem to be as people pleasing as women are, not to generalize. But I believe that women tend to engage in people pleasing behaviors way more than men. And it's really due to a combination of societal and cultural norms and factors. And these are general trends. And not everyone's like this.

But this is why women might be more prone to people pleasing. Because from a young age, we are often socialized to be nurturing, accommodating, considerate, and that is put on us, especially helping in the kitchen or with cooking and cleaning. As well as cultural expectations and norms where women may be socialized to prioritize other people's happiness at the expense of her own needs.

Also fear of disapproval where women fear social rejection, or sometimes it's harder for us in the workplace to function. Like we can't get away with saying certain things that men could get away with. And sometimes I feel like people in medicine, staff will say certain things to me that they would never say to my male colleagues. And then if I have a response, I might be seen in a more negative light than one of my male cohorts would be seen just because I'm a woman.

Also just in terms of empathy and emotional awareness. Women often have higher levels of emotional awareness than men. And though it's valuable, it also leads us to be more inclined to please others in order to alleviate an uncomfortable situation. So the reality is that people pleasing gives away our power because when we seek approval outside of ourselves, we are handing over our happiness to external forces. Whether it is a boss or a colleague or friends or family. And this is basically futile.

It's useless to try and control others perceptions of us because we really can't control it. And people often just see us based on their own stories. And it's not so much about what we're doing. So often we people, please to avoid the discomfort of disapproval. But realizing that not everyone's going to like us, that's helpful in ditching people pleasing and really just aligning with our own stuff. So the majority of someone's opinion is really shaped by their own narrative and not a true reflection of another person. So once we can figure this out and make peace with this, then we can move forward.

Now I'm going to touch upon several tips and steps you can take to stop people pleasing, and really start living a more happy, fulfilling life.

One is acknowledgement. So just acknowledging and recognizing that you're a people pleaser, or realizing when you are people pleasing. Meaning doing things that you don't want to do in order to make people like you, or doing something that's even harmful for yourself in order to control someone else's opinion of you.

Number two, practice the power of no. Really playing around with and practicing saying no to stuff that you don't want to do that will free up your time. Practice pleasing yourself, and really celebrate everything that you've achieved and everything you're doing and be grateful for your own accomplishments and growth and take time to really think about that on a daily basis, all that you're doing and achieving and how amazing that is.

Tip number four is to set clear boundaries. So really learning boundaries, which is a line between you and other people to create personal safety for yourself. And understanding that setting boundaries really helps in self preservation, and it is not selfish.

Step number five is to practice self compassion, and really treat yourself as you would treat others. So this is a little bit of a golden rule reversal. But really learning to treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you offer other people, that you offer to your own kids, even, and acknowledging that you do make mistakes, giving yourself compassion for that. And that's okay. And really, this is such a great balance and counterbalance to self criticism. And the factors that often drive us to people please.

Number six is to really surround yourself with your own tribe and supportive people. So people who really see the world the way you do, and they appreciate you for exactly who you are, and they unconditionally love you. And there's a mutual respect. And this is so helpful. Because when you feel like you belong, you don't have to drive yourself crazy people pleasing. And number seven is to recognize that you really can't please everyone and set realistic expectations. And that's totally okay, right.

Really challenge the idea that your self worth is contingent upon external validation or meeting other people's expectations. And really embrace the idea that you are valuable, you are lovable, regardless of what you do and your achievements. So incorporating these tips into your life, you're going to be so much better equipped to navigate situations to prioritize your own well being and ditch people pleasing once and for all. So the journey to doing that, to ditching people pleasing is really an ongoing practice.

And you just have to start small, where you say, let's say, no to something that you really don't want to do, that's going to suck a bunch of your time and start there. And if you're not used to saying no, this can be really, really tough. So I would say even for the next week, say no to five different things.

And I may have mentioned this on the last episode, but my mother hosted Thanksgiving for my entire dad's side. And it was basically I think it was 25 people, including the children at my mom's house. And it was totally crazy. And she took this on without really asking any of us meaning my father or my sister, should I do this, she just kind of volunteered it.

And then from the get go, I actually told her, hey, I really don't want to be involved in organizing and helping, like I have my own stuff that I'm constantly doing in my own life. And I would like to relax when I come home. And that was my way of protecting myself so that I didn't leave Thanksgiving feeling totally drained and depleted. But I can actually leave that vacation of a few days, leave it feeling restored and rejuvenated.

And I'm happy to say that that is the case, but it's because I had the guts to say that. Now you may think that's not very nice or it's not helpful, but I did end up helping and I did facilitate activities during Thanksgiving with my family. But my point is I did it on my own terms and I was helpful, but at least I did not feel drained and depleted having to do a million tasks.

So that's just one example of not people pleasing. And just to show you how far I've come, because the old me would have been trying to help with everything and doing everything, especially to show everyone how helpful I am. And I no longer engage in behaviors that are purely for other people's good opinion of me, I have to do things in integrity and alignment with myself, and I'm very particular about how I spend my time. So there you have it, that's one example.

But that's a big no to do. But if you have some smaller stuff you can start saying no to, just start there. Five things for the next week, see how it goes, you're going to see that it's going to have a positive impact on you and therefore a positive ripple effect on everyone around you. And this will totally transform your life and you will learn to not people please nearly as much. You're going to find yourself seeking your own approval and being so much happier.

So thank you so much for listening to this journey today. So important, this work, and I'm grateful that you're here listening. If you want to dive deeper into this work and truly ditch burnout and exhaustion once and for all, stop dreading the day when you're waking up thinking about all the work you have to do, all the meetings you have to attend, all the patients you have to see.

And then you do all this work and then you come home and you have more work to do getting dinner on the table, maybe helping your kids with their homework or arranging activities. And it's exhausting and then you're left without joy, without fun and that is no way to live.

So to break that cycle, stop the people pleasing trap, get out of the cycle of the daily dread and book a call me PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me to see if we're a good fit to work together. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode 75: Inner Peace Unleashed: Letting Go of Others’ Opinions

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she shares her personal narrative, navigating the transformative impact of self-improvement on motherhood, the interconnectedness of personal development and global influence, and practical insights for letting go of external opinions to find inner peace.

In this episode, you will learn:

The Ripple Effect: Impact on Motherhood and Beyond
- Delve into the transformative power of a mother's self-improvement journey, exploring its profound ripple effect on children and beyond, illustrating the interconnectedness of personal development, parenting, and global influence.
Letting Go of External Opinions: A Path to Inner Peace
- Explore the negative impact of external opinions on work-life balance and happiness, drawing on Brené Brown's vulnerability research to highlight the risks of prioritizing others' thoughts over personal beliefs.
Dr. Prianca's Personal Journey: Unveiling Negative Narratives
- Openly share Dr. Prianca's raw and vulnerable personal narrative, connecting childhood stories to recent challenges, illustrating how deeply ingrained narratives shape reactions and lead to unnecessary suffering.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

https://buy.stripe.com/cN22c8cWH4Aq0KsdQT

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 75. Well, hello there. I am so grateful to have you here today with me on this podcast empowering working moms. My name is Dr. Prianca Naik, I'm a board certified internal medicine physician as well as a certified life coach. But most importantly, I am a mother of two little ones.

And I do this work because I know that as we work on ourselves, as we heal ourselves, as we heal our own wounds, and do the work to energize ourselves, practice some mindfulness. That really is the key to our better life, ditching burnout, and exhaustion for good.

But also, the most important thing, and I think this is something that really hits home is that the work we do here, that's the work that has a ripple effect on our kids, because it makes us better mothers. And when we can be better moms, then these kids are going to be their best selves. And imagine the effect that that has on this world. It's truly a ripple effect. And it has such an incredible impact on the world as we know it. And it all starts with us.

So I was thinking how so many of us worry about what other people think and worrying about what other people think, having a good opinion of us really might not be the best way to find work life balance and happiness. But considering other people's opinions and feelings, that's what's made you the kind, caring person that you are today. And it's okay to think this way, because it's what we've been taught for years since we were young.

But if you've blindly believed this, I am willing to bet that you have found yourself mentally exhausted, waking up at least three times a week, dreading going to work or even facing the day. Look at what Brene Brown says, what's the greater risk? Letting go of what people think or letting go of how I feel, what I believe, and who I am.

She has done a ton of research on vulnerability, she emphasizes the importance of coming home to ourselves, creating boundaries, and going after what we want. She highlights that we cannot look after ourselves and our own feelings if we put others thoughts and feelings above our own. That basing our actions on what other people think of us will only lead to dissatisfaction.

Therefore learning to let go of what other people think of us is a key component of cultivating inner peace and happiness. And if this is you, do not worry. I have helped so many moms in demanding careers fix this problem with my coaching program. DM me to see if you're someone I can help too. You can find me on Instagram at Doctor Prianca D o c t o r p r i a n ca. That'll be in the show notes and find out if you are someone I can help too.

So today I'm going to talk about something super personal. It's my own narrative and my own story. And I'm going to talk about this because when it comes to our own narratives and our own stories, we really have to consider how much that they are in the background. They have been formed in early childhood or maybe even later childhood. And they are so deeply ingrained, those neural pathways, that they're there.

And often we don't realize that we see these stories as facts. And what happens is we get triggered, and then we have a response. And often it is because of our stories and our narratives that we have a specific response. And these cause a lot of suffering at times, the negative stories.

So today I'm going to get in the weeds about my own negative story about myself, how it came about. Because these last, I would say about four days of the beginning of this week, I was definitely having some inner turbulence, and it prompted me to investigate what was going on.

And as I do this work, I'm going to give you what I discovered about my story, and then that hopefully will prompt you to think about your own story. And I'll give you the steps of what to do next, like how you too can get some distance from your negative stories to really decrease suffering and increase peace of mind. And that's how we energize ourselves. That's how we did burnout and exhaustion once and for all.

So here we go. This is pretty vulnerable for me, but I know that this will help you. So I'm going to go ahead and tell you because you're not alone in your journey. You're not alone in your suffering. And this is, yes, I'm a little, I'm kind of like stumbling on my words because I'm a little nervous to talk about my own stuff, because it was so raw, actually a few days ago, but here we go.

So when you have a visceral reaction, or a really strong reaction that's out of proportional to maybe what the trigger is, or if you have a trigger where you've got the same negative response again, and again, these are opportunities for investigation, reflection and growth. Something that has come up for me a lot is, this is my story. So my story. It's kind of a sad story.

My story is that nothing I do is good enough. I'm not good enough. And nothing I do is good enough and it doesn't matter. And it's not like I feel like the story is in the forefront every single day. It's not like that. It's a deep seated story from my own childhood. And I've mentioned this before, but as you can imagine, when you're told that like a 98%, where are the other two points, it's always a mantra of, it's not enough. And it should be better.

Everything has to be better and improving. And though I will say that the goal for me of always improving myself and bettering myself, it's a great thing. So it's a positive thing. But the negative aspect of that is the not enoughness. So nothing I ever do is ever good enough. And I started realizing this in my marriage, which now I'm in the middle of a divorce. But that was really raw for me, because it always felt like my efforts were in vain.

And then recently, my older child, I do a lot with him, connecting with him, lots of rituals with him, and he will want more and more from me. And I think that that's just how kids are. But instead, when he does that, I create a story of oh, I'm not good enough, mom, it's not good enough, taking time off on your off school days is not enough for you, doing gratitude practice at nights, that's not enough for you, going to your school field trip, that's not enough for you.

And I realized that's not what he's saying at all. But that is how I'm perceiving it. So that was my recent realization of my not enough story coming into play yet again. So I'm going to tell you what I've been doing about that.

But now I'm gonna get into the next pretty raw story that has to do with this not good enough story line. So I have a very wonderful au pair. And she came into my life last spring. And she came in at a time when I really needed her I had been having issues with childcare. And she was truly like a gift from the universe. And she is what I would call a unicorn au pair. And we grew very close, I grew very attached to her, we had a special connection.

And over time, what happens with a lot of the au pairs is they talk to each other, and then they grow more entitled. And so I will also say that on my end, I was extremely generous with her giving her a ton of time off, I would give her cash bonuses. But the problem was, in doing all that I expected that she would stay with me.

And we came to a time when we had to reassess whether she was extending with me or not. And so she brought up a bunch of asks and demands, which I thought they were reasonable. So I pretty much said yes to all of her asks, and we move forward. And then we were deciding, she said, okay, I'm gonna stay with you. And I said, great, I don't have to look for somebody else.

And then about a week ago, there were a couple of things that happened. And she had a problem with like, one of my rules, and I basically had my boundary. And I said, you know, no, that's not a rule, I can bend on, I've bent on everything else. And it's still not enough for you. And so we both mutually agreed for, I'm going to look for another au pair and she's gonna look for another family for when she's done. And that's fine. And this happens.

But I had such a visceral response to this, I was so upset, I made it really personal, which if you've read The Four Agreements, which I haven't, but one of the Four Agreements is not to take things personally. And I know this, but I had intertwined myself with my au pair, because she lives with me and boy oh boy I was having a lot of grief about this.

And I think it was a multiple layered grief, it was the grief of I'm going to lose my au pair who's been a stable factor in all of our lives, grieving her. Grieving what I thought was going to be, that she was going to continue with us. And so when I was having this visceral reaction and I was crying, and I had other really stressful things going on. So it was compounding with all that. And I knew that it was just at baseline, I was already really stressed with some other stuff. But it all really came to a head.

And when I had such a strong response, I thought to myself, alright, this is a time to investigate. So for you too, when you find yourself having a strong response, probably out of proportion to the stimulus. It's a moment to really stop and say, Alright, what is really happening here. So I did some investigation, and I realized it was two things.

One was back to the story of it's not good enough for you. So in my mind, I thought I've bent over backwards. I've tried to make your schedule good. I've tried to give you more money, you know, cash bonuses, this and that. And also make you feel cared for like a part of the family. And it's not enough for you. And now you want more from me. When really, I don't think it's that deep. Like, I don't know what she thinks. But I'm just saying on her end, she wants to experience America, she wants a different experience, she wants a little bit more freedom than what I'm offering and that's fine.

Like it's not personal. And so the point is my own story about myself is what created my own suffering. My story is what had me having a really big response to something that wasn't that serious. And I was thinking to myself, why am I having so much upset like I've been through so much worse, and that's what got me to have this realization.

So I just want you to think about a time recently or in your life when there was a stimulus and your emotional response was way too deep for probably what it was, even if you felt like things were unfair. And think about what's the story behind that, like, what's really going on here? That's something to ask ourselves when we're experiencing suffering. Because remember, we are creating our own suffering.

So here are the lessons I learned with my child and with the au pair situation. So with my kid, I realized I have to give myself compassion and grace, I'm doing the best I can. And honestly, it's a lot better than my parents did. So I gotta give myself grace for that, and know that my kids are really happy. And that is a reflection of the ambiance I've created. That's a reflection of the work I do, coaching myself, for example, so I get to give myself grace.

So you too get to give yourself grace for whatever turbulence or whatever is imperfect. With my au pair, my lessons learned were, well, first of all, it really got me realizing my story of the not enoughness, but also loving detachment, I think I've forgotten that concept. And that's something I learned in Al Anon and to detach with love is to really care for somebody, but to release and detach from the expectation. So kind of loving them from afar.

And so I was way too attached to her. And I've learned that and I'm going to try my best not to be attached to my next au pair. Also, the expectations, those always set us up for failure, like we cannot expect things of people. We have to be able to give and expect nothing in return. So that's something to reflect on for myself as I move forward.

The other thing is, as I said, not to take things personally. So it wasn't that personal. And I get to release that. So as you move forward, I want you to really identify what are some of your wounds, and the way you're going to figure that out is two things.

One, something that keeps triggering you over and over and over again, and start thinking about why is it triggering you? Why is it wounding you?

What is your feeling? And what is the story behind that feeling? The other situation is when you have a response that's way larger than the stimulus.

So like overreacting in your own mind, like why am I reacting this way? Why am I having a bigger response than I should be having? So those are your signals to do your investigation. And when you do this investigation, think about how are you feeling? Where is it in your body? Why are you feeling this way? What are the thoughts that are creating these feelings? What is the story that you're telling yourself, that creates this feeling for you.

And step number one is you get to be present with that story, acknowledge it, give yourself compassion for the story. And a lot of times these stories have been with us for 30 something years. So I don't think that these are things we can actually get rid of, we can't get rid of these stories completely. But when we are aware of the story, we get to make sure that it doesn't wound us as much, that we don't play into it as much, we get distance from the story.

And as we do that, we decrease our own suffering. So notice your story, be aware of it, and watch out for it. And the next time you have a similar trigger, you can say to yourself, oh, that's just my story. Like for me, I would say oh, that's just my story that I'm not good enough, that nothing I ever do is good enough.

And it hurts but I don't need to take it so seriously. It's not a fact. And then the next step to that is really creating a new story. And that I think is a little bit beyond the scope of this podcast episode, like getting into that, that's probably more work we would do inside my program.

But if you even just start investigating the triggers and the stories, you truly will decrease your suffering, increase your peace of mind, have more balance, really feel more energized, not allow yourself to get drained as much, and be out of exhaustion and burnout.

If you find yourself at least twice a day, you're yelling at your kids to get out the door, to brush their teeth in the morning or even at night, and you've tried practicing more self care like mani pedis and massages in order to feel exhausted but it's not working and you're still mentally exhausted.

You're still feeling burned out, book a call with me to really heal yourself from the inside out and have that ripple effect on you and your family and therefore the world. And I know that sounds really like yeah, right. But trust me, it's so true and it's possible. Book a call with me to find out PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. Thank you so much for tuning in. Have a happy Thanksgiving and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode 74: The Power of Human Connection in Ending Burnout

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about how powerful human connection is when it comes to getting rid of burnout. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can improve several aspects of your life through connecting with those around you. Tune in for more on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

The role of relationships in our mental well-being.
The evolutionary context of the concept of tribe.
The rewards of social connection.
How to build and maintain connections.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

https://buy.stripe.com/cN22c8cWH4Aq0KsdQT

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 74. Hello there, I am so happy to have you here today listening to this week's podcast episode. I hope you're doing well, I have been doing great.

And I say that because life is often in phases of up and down, or maybe just sometimes middle ground. And I have been in a middle ground to up meaning better place, at least right now. And I attribute that to having seen some old friends recently. And I've also been in the process of making new friends in the community and also at my older child's school.

So that's been really nice and has me thinking about the power of human connection. So many of us as moms out there, you've got the demanding career, and you're just exhausted. And maybe you find yourself yelling at your kids twice a day to get out the door and brush their teeth. Or you've thought about cutting back at work for a really long time or a different role, but you're afraid to ask for that because of what your colleagues or superiors might think.

Or every day your brain is just spinning nonstop over your to do list or pending work that's piling up. And this is mentally exhausting, and it leads to exhaustion and burnout. And what I do in my program, and I'm going to talk about today, it's really solutions to ditch burnout and exhaustion once and for all. And if you want to learn more about that check out my free masterclass four steps to overcoming burnout and overwhelm to get your peace of mind back. The link will be in the show notes.

And in terms of solving it, today, we're going to dive into the concept of human connection and how powerful it is. So let's just start with creating an understanding of the impact that relationships and connection have on our well being. Studies have shown that strong healthy relationships are linked to better mental and physical health, along with having a reliable support system. And this can truly improve emotional health, well being, resilience, and most importantly, it fulfills the need to belong.

So for us, having a sense of belonging as human beings is such a key component for leading a balanced life. And we really are inherently social creatures. Evolutionarily, the survival and success of the human species has heavily depended on our ability to form strong bonds. So in prehistoric times, early on, early humans found support and also resources within the framework of tribes or close knit social groups.

Which is why we always talk about, I think there's a common idea that having a sense of tribe is so important. Now back then those tribes provided protection against external threats like predators, and also helped with the success of hunting and gathering and feeding families. And the tribe would share these responsibilities and resources. And therefore the burden was no longer on one person. And that really helped them survive.

So this is how humans evolutionarily really thrive in cooperative and interconnected communities. Now, today, it's a little different, especially in the United States. People tend to often stick to themselves, they don't ask for help, houses often are not as close together. And I say this because I remember when my grandmother was alive, when she would come to visit us from India, she would feel so lonely, because the juxtaposition of living in America where everything's kind of quiet, you're on your own a lot.

She was used to living in an apartment in India, where neighbors would just drop by unannounced and she was constantly socializing. So that gives me a little bit of a comparison of how maybe other countries might function. I know that's how India is, people are much more social. But in this country, people don't always have this automatic community. And that's where the work comes in. And we get to decide that we can create one, we build one.

So our brains have evolved to reward us for social interactions as well, because positive social connection really triggers the release of oxytocin. And oxytocin is a hormone that really fosters trust and bonding. And that's why spending time with loved ones and belonging and being a part of a community.

For me, that's my college group of friends, my medical school group of friends, a couple of residency friends, I'm close with too, although currently I'm really working on building the community where I live and trying to make new mom friends. Which is why I'm bringing this up because I want everyone to have this at the forefront of their mind. Forming strong relationships is just rewarding. And it really has been through human history for the reasons I just described.

So when we have a tribe, a group of friends or a supportive community, we have a place to turn when life gets overwhelming or we're having a hard time and hopefully you build a community with people who you trust, who can have empathy for you and you for them. And who can understand what your struggles might be, and make you feel like you have people to lean on. And that connection is such a great tool, a safety net, and can help us navigate the challenging aspects of being a working mom, a mom in a demanding career.

Where you're doing so much at work, and you're so busy. And then at home, you're also perhaps having the majority of the mental and physical labor at home as well. The other thing I didn't mention before, which I should have is that early on humans and tribes, they actually experienced less stress, because they had this sense of belonging and emotional support, and that contributed to their overall survival, but also reproductive success as well.

I'm going to briefly break down the types of connection that human beings can have. So you got familial, friendships, and romantic. So we've got those types of connection. And what's interesting is there are a lot of preconceived notions about family where you feel like you're supposed to be the closest with your family. But sometimes, depending on how much personal growth you yourself do, you can start realizing maybe things that don't align for you that your family demonstrated, or the practices that your family had.

Or maybe that your family is not supportive in certain ways, and maybe they don't meet your needs in certain areas. And as you do that, connection with others becomes that much more crucial and critical. So friends, for example, fostering those friendships can really be grounding and help you during good times and bad.

And I think I said this on last week's episode, that people are often caught up with their own stuff. But if you actually reach out to your friends and tell them that you need them, more often than not, as long as they themselves, if they're going through a hard time, they're not gonna be able to show up for you. But most of the time, people will turn up for you, you just have to ask.

And of course, fostering that connection, in general is really important, be it through text messages, or sending cards, or sending a gift, or that you're thinking about them, or calling people. That's really important in maintaining the friendships throughout.

And then we've got romantic relationships, which especially if you're married, or have a partner, and you live with them, that's a day to day interaction that is one of the most important relationships of all. Because that's the person, especially if you have a lifelong commitment with them, that you're going to be with even after your kids leave the house, after your parents pass away. So that one probably needs the most attention and take that for granted the least.

And so also you have to figure out ways to connect with your partner on a daily basis in person, know their love language, really foster that and work on good communication skills.

And actually beyond that, and I'm not a relationship coach, but something that I've really come to know is that knowing who you are, where you came from, your emotional history, your baggage, why you made the decisions you've made, how you got here, and really knowing yourself and loving yourself, that is critical in building a relationship and a connection with a romantic partner. And hopefully they do the same. And then it makes it a little easier to create a connection between the two of you.

So those are the types of connections and then also we've got superficial versus more intimate connections. So superficial conversation is just conversations that you have with people that you don't know, like the weather, or what trips are you taking, but things that do not really scratch beyond the surface. And I personally am not interested in doing that in my life anymore, I just find it to be not rewarding. And I feel like it's a waste of my time.

And if I'm going to make friends with people, I really want to scratch beyond the surface and delve a little bit deeper than that. I mean, you can't really do that right away with people you don't know. But me personally, I'm pretty open. So I will usually be honest about my situation.

And with a little bit of vulnerability, I think that welcomes people to be vulnerable as well. And granted, you don't have to overshare but if you're comfortable sharing below surface stuff, I think that's always useful in initiating a little bit more intimate of a conversation, intimate of a connection that's beyond the superficial, because that's really how we create those bonds.

So now I'm going to talk a little bit about maintaining and improving these relationships. So I've got about seven tips to talk about today.

Tip number one is really prioritizing communication. So this is really wonderful and not easy to do to have real conversations. Really sharing our honest thoughts and feelings while practicing kindness at the same time. And this is truly the foundation of any strong relationship.

And I actually really like the Gottman Institute for little tips and tricks. It's on romantic relationships, but I also think it's applicable to other parts of our lives. Including conversations with our children, where communicating with kids and really having those lines of communication, a judgment free zone and somewhere where the kids feel safe to talk to us. That's really critical in the bond with our children as well.

Tip number two, quality time. So really making time to spend with the people that you care about. So be it trips, my college group of friends has a yearly trip, same usually my med school group of friends, we meet yearly. And with other friends, I try to make time to talk them on the phone regularly or see them.

If you've got a partner really plan those date nights automatic, schedule them, have playdates for your kids with friends, and try to be present when you're at home with your family and put your phone away because that is quality time and our kids will be gone before we know it. So really being present in these moments can strengthen that connection with others.

Tip number three is practicing empathy and understanding. So just the idea that everyone has their own struggles, so we just never know what's going on with other people. So really try and put yourself in the shoes of your partner or friends or family and try and have empathy for them. Because this can really lead to better connection as well.

And if you show up empathetically for someone else, don't expect anything in return. But oftentimes people will surprise you. And they will support you in an empathetic way. And you will receive that well.

Tip number four, boundaries. They're healthy. So learning boundaries is so important. And boundaries really look like if you do this, then I will do that. So it's not about shutting other people down. It's really protecting our own personal space and our needs.

And so I'll give an example of this, which is interesting. And it's come up for me recently. I realized that one of my personal triggers is when people raise their voices or when they're yelling. And one of my children has taken to shouting from time to time. So I told my child, hey, can you please stop shouting, and my child didn't listen. So then I said, hey, if you keep shouting, I'm going to have to remove myself from the room for a moment because I'm not enjoying it, and I gotta leave the room.

And I set that boundary. If you do this, then I'll do that. That's how boundaries work. And I found that the shouting stopped right away, and I didn't have to leave the room.

So it's really interesting when we can communicate our needs and have a plan in place for ourselves for our own mental and physical safety, given whatever scenario you want to plug into that.

And boundaries in preserving our personal safety and space really help to energize us and reduce exhaustion and prevent burnout, it leads to better connection and better and healthier relationships, actually. And remember that the people who really love and care about you, they're not gonna be mad at you if you practice boundaries for yourself.

Tip number five is gratitude practice. I love this one because gratitude is known as something that really boosts happiness. Research has shown that gratitude practice really leads to a happier life. And so taking time every day to reflect on the positive aspects of our lives, having gratitude for the people in our lives, having gratitude for the relationships.

Really telling ourselves how grateful we are for things, that's important to really acknowledge that. But also expressing gratitude for others. And I think it's so important to let those who we care about know that while they're still around, and hopefully that way, we won't have regrets.

And so practicing gratitude can definitely strengthen the connection between us and others, really strengthen that bond and have a positive ripple effect just all around. That's one of my favorite things to practice, because it's just so easy to do.

And I've probably mentioned this before, but I've been practicing gratitude with my older child since he was two and a half. And now he's five and now my younger daughter, she is two and a half. So I just started practicing with her too.

Tip number six is to seek help when you need it. So don't be afraid to ask for help when you're going through a challenging time, fom your partner or friends or whomever else. Really sharing your struggles can help you feel better, but also help others have a better understanding of where you are. And that leads to strengthening of relationships as well.

Last but not least, tip number seven is to celebrate. And this is one of my favorites. This is not as easy to practice as gratitude. But this is one of my favorite things to do celebrate everything, whether it's a personal achievement, an anniversary, a special occasion, a birthday, whatever it is.

Getting people together for these milestones, and really creating memories to reinforce the joy of life. And also you'll see that when people show up for you during these special occasions, it strengthens the bond, it strengthens the relationship, and you're going to feel really, really loved and cared for.

And me personally, a shout out to all my friends, particularly the ones who have shown up to celebrate with me some of the big moments in my life and they have taken a lot of trouble to do that and my sister too actually. So I love and care for them very deeply and it has meant so much to me that they've been there for me.

And so taking the time to do the celebration and celebrate really each other and each other's success, each other's growth. And I remember a good friend of mine from medical school, a dear, dear friend, she and I were talking on the phone and we were both celebrating each other's progress in life.

And it was just nice to cheer each other on for the mundane things. Because I think often we just take that for granted. But that's another way to really deepen your connection with other people.

And now I'm just gonna talk about a couple of client examples. I have of really strengthening connection and relationships. One of my clients who is a physician and mother of two small kids, she started incorporating her older child, her daughter, into her morning routine of just making her coffee and having her help with stuff in the morning.

Now, this served a couple of different purposes. Her daughter felt important, she felt like she was connecting with her mom. And the client was also getting some help in the morning. So it just ended up everybody was winning.

But she felt like through creating a couple very simple rituals with her child, she was able to foster a deeper connection, and she found her child acting out a lot less when she was doing that. So that's something to think about doing. Especially if you have younger kids, they love being involved in mundane activities.

Another one of my clients, who is a pharmaceutical executive and mom of two, she took time to start playing the guitar again. And what she ended up doing was she ended up taking guitar lessons with her daughter. So that was their special thing that they were doing together. And she was able to really connect with her daughter and reignite her old hobby and make time for herself through practicing the guitar.

And now I'll give you one of my own personal hacks. If my son has like a half day off from school, I try to do something with him. Be it spend time with him, run errands with him, get a meal with him, just so that we get in some quality time on a regular basis. And this is in addition to whatever day to day practices that we have like the gratitude practice or storytime or he's playing the ukulele now, he just started but I sit with him when he practices that.

Because for me, academics and being disciplined are really my strong suits so I can show up for my kids in that way. Emotional intelligence is also something I'm really interested in. So we talk a lot about mindset and the ways we see the world. And we do a lot of practicing breathing for, let's say having coping skills and tools in our toolbox for any and all emotions, which are all okay to feel.

So those are specific examples of my clients and me and what we've done. And I'll also add that I know a lot of you are probably thinking that cutting back work to part time is the best way to be a good mom and spend time with your kids.

Well, that's not the only way to be a better mother and connect with your children. And it's okay that you think that because society has been implying for years that we have to work part time even schools don't really cater events and scheduling to working moms. But if you've fallen in that trap, I'm willing to bet that you've been feeling guilty too for a while.

So we know that if working part time made us feel less mom guilt and created better parents then everyone who worked part time would be totally fulfilled and satisfied as a parent. And we know that's not the case.

So here's what the women who are fulfilled and happy career moms, what they do. They create rituals in the morning of a minute of snuggle time or having their child participate in making their morning coffee like my client did, or putting your phone away when you walk in the door for an hour to really connect and inquire about your kid's day.

Or have a mindfulness based practice every night before bed like gratitude practice or belly breathing for about a minute or so with your kids like we talked about. So that gives you plenty of stuff to think about today. When we die, we're going to remember the connections we made with our friends and family, those memories and those moments. Not being at the computer for our job, putting more time and energy into work. That is not what we're going to remember.

And I say that as a physician who does a lot of end of life care. I've been a hospice medical director and for sure the work stuff doesn't matter as much as we think it does. And the day to day grind, it's so easy to get caught up in that, especially when you have kids.

But really being able to zoom out and think about what we talked about on today's episode, the power of human connection and how not only is it so, so important but it really will help us combat exhaustion. And I've helped so many professional moms work on these kinds of issues and fix this problem through coaching with me.

So to see if you are someone that I can help too, click on my scheduling link. The link is in the show notes, www.PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. Thank you so much for listening today and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode 73: Top 10 Burnout Mistakes And Solutions; How to Prevent Exhaustion & Stress

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses the top ten mistakes moms with demanding jobs make when it comes to burnout, exhaustion, and stress. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about solutions to these top ten mistakes so you can implement them in your own life. Tune in for more on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

Common mistakes when dealing with burnout and exhaustion include ignoring the signs, neglecting self-care, overcommitting, and embracing perfectionism.
The difficulty women have getting help and the importance of seeking support.
Recognizing the need for downtime.
Individualized solutions, like setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and seeking professional guidance, can assist in combating burnout.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

https://buy.stripe.com/cN22c8cWH4Aq0KsdQT

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 73. Well, hello there, I am so thrilled to have you listening to this podcast episode today. Actually, it is now suddenly freezing and cold in the Northeast. We had this day, I think last Saturday where the weather was 80 degrees. And I was outside with my kiddos, and then literally Halloween, it started getting so much colder.

Anyway, I am enjoying the holiday season and just savoring this time with my children. Someone was telling me that when your kids turn around 15, they're not quite as interested in hanging out with you. So my older one is five. So I guess that gives me about 10 years left. This time is really precious, so I do my best to be present with them as much as I can.

And of course, we can't control their perceptions of us. So we just do the best that we can. And I know that you, mama, are doing an amazing job because you're doing way better than your parents ever did. So take this moment to pat yourself on the back.

Now I will say, one of my clients, she had found herself feeling so guilty as a mom and she was so distraught feeling like she was doing a bad job. But through working with me, we really worked on self empowerment. She was able to give herself compassion and love. And through the work we did together, she really felt like she was being an awesome mom and no longer was struggling with mom guilt.

Which I know is such a pervasive issue for so many of us because we've got these careers and we're stretched so so so thin. So if you want to learn more about the work that we do inside my program overcome burnout for good check out my free masterclass or steps to overcome burnout and exhaustion for good, the link will be in the show notes, you can check it out there.

So today I want to talk about the top 10 mistakes, according to me, that people make when trying to combat exhaustion and burnout. Now we know that exhaustion and burnout is just so pervasive amongst moms in general. And then moms in demanding careers because we're functioning like men at work. And then we've got all these duties at home. So you end up being spread super thin.

You're juggling a bunch of different balls in the air and you feel like you're failing at it all. And on top of that you're tired, you're dragging, so forget about enjoying your life. So once you can kind of understand these mistakes, I'm going to talk about the mistakes and then why they occur. And then I'm gonna give you some solutions as well to combat these mistakes. And if you implement just one of the things that we talked about today, you're gonna see a positive effect in your life. So here we go.

So the top 10 mistakes that people make when trying to deal with exhaustion and burnout is one ignoring the signs, two neglecting themselves, three overcommitting, four engaging in perfectionism, five not seeking any help at all, six not being able to manage their time or their stress, seven no work life balance, eight obsessing over problems, nine really not paying attention to the importance of some stillness, and 10 not being intentional and not evaluating priorities.

So let's talk about number one, ignoring the signs of burnout. Now, the signs are fatigue, irritability, not feeling motivated. And these signs we often don't recognize because we have been trained to ignore them. And I say this as a doctor where residency and even in practice, there is no room or compassion for being tired or exhausted, you just grin and bear through it. Whether that is a 24 hour shift, or taking call all night long, or working for 10-11 days in a row, that is just normalized. So if you're exhausted or you feel burnt out, often you will not even notice it's happening.

So that's basically why that's happening. Some solutions to work on this. So really checking in with yourself and seeing how you feel every morning, first thing when you wake up, that is very helpful just to see. And really listening to your mind and your body. For example, I'm on a push push mentality. That's just how I was raised. That's how I'm conditioned as a doctor and I just turned 40 in June.

So as I'm living in my 40s now, I noticed that my body gets a little bit more fatigued than it used to. So I was working out five to six days a week and sometimes it if my back is sore, or my entire body's hurting, I will skip a workout that day. And maybe that's not what other people are preaching. But I have learned to really listen and give my mind and body grace. So these are a couple things you can do to really check in with yourself so that you're not ignoring what's happening.

Alright, mistake number two, neglecting one's self. So the reason that so many of us do this is because we're conditioned to put the thoughts and feelings of other people in front of our own, we're often raised to be caretakers, we especially put our children above ourselves, which is okay.

But what this really results in is that we neglect ourselves and we forget about what we want and what is good for us. And in that process, not only if it goes on for too long, can you really lose a sense of yourself, but this is what leads to dissatisfaction and unhappiness, because you're not even paying attention to your wants and your needs.

And if you don't, no one will. We have to treat ourselves with love and care to really give an example to other people of how we want to be treated. So there are so many ways to go about doing this, I think the first thing is to just acknowledge that we do neglect ourselves and that it is okay to look out for ourselves or care for ourselves. And that is not selfish. And in fact, when you start to see what is healthy for you, you can be intentional and take action to do those things.

So I'll give you my own personal examples. For me connecting with others on a bit of a deeper level, that is so important for me to feel like I belong in the tribe. We all need a sense of tribe, and when we lack that we lack that foundation, and then we feel alone. So connecting with those that I really care about, that is really significant to me. So I make time to let's say, connect with old friends.

And actually, funnily enough, it's so funny when I'm recording this podcast, I have plans to connect with my college group of friends. So we've been friends for over 20 years, and spend some time with them, which is so beautiful. And then very last minute, a dear medical school friend of mine is in town. So I'm going to try and make time to see her today.

But the point is that this is time that I'm taking away from my kids, let's say. But first of all, I'm very mindful about time away from my kids, I try to spend as much time as possible with them, as I said in the beginning of the episode, I've got 10 good years left with my son when he still wants to hang out with me. So I know that time is precious, and I try to be present and be here as much as I can.

But I also give myself grace to fit in time with those other people outside of my two children that I care about, because that really makes me feel grounded, that is a part of my identity. A part of my identity is close meaningful connections and friendships, and by fostering that I get to feel fulfilled, and I get to put my best foot forward as a mother. So just give yourself some compassion and grace to take some time for yourself on a regular basis in order to fulfill yourself.

And I'm not pushing self care, because a massage really isn't the end all be all, it's not going to solve your problems. But if you can figure out what is one meaningful part of the way you want to live life or your identity, and then take action to create that in your life, you're going to see that you're going to be more fulfilled, and you're gonna therefore show up better for your kids, be more patient with your kids, because you're not overextending yourself, and you're actually taking some time. So that is how to combat the self neglect mistake.

All right, mistake number three is over committing. So that really comes from we're supposed to take care of everyone, maybe we were raised that way. And then it really results in feeling depleted. So this comes in the form of taking on too many responsibilities, not setting boundaries, saying yes to everything, including projects that you want nothing to do with or saying yes to hanging out with people that you don't even like, it makes no sense.

And this also has to do with people pleasing as well, because you're going to do things to make other people happy, even if it's at a cost to yourself. And this kind of behavior and way of doing things really does lead to exhaustion. So one thing we can do to stop over committing is really understanding the power of no.

Now, there was a New York Times article several years ago talking about the power of no and this was the first time I'd ever heard about this. And I was so shocked because I never said no to anyone for anything. And then when I became a mother, I just realized that my life was so different. And I had to manage so much more than just when I was on my own.

And I really started to understand that it was important to say no to things that did not align with my priorities or the way I wanted to do things. So one thing I would say is definitely practicing no.

So for me, I will never forget the first time that I said no to something. And it was at work. And I had finished my workday, I was looking forward to going home and I had an extra hour before my nanny was off to work out. And I wanted to do that, it's good for me and my mental health, etc. And one of the senior people in my group asked me to go back and see an admission, he said, can you and I said, no, sorry, I can't.

And I remember feeling so guilty and so bad about it. And I think he ended up seeing the patient that day, because he lives near the hospital anyway, I'm about a half hour away. But it was fine. Like he didn't care and it was no big deal. I don't think it was much sweat off his back. But it was a huge deal for me to say no.

So once I started understanding, saying no, I got so much more comfortable with it. So really say no. And I would start with people who you're not related to like relationships that are not as close because it's not as scary to do that. Also just learning to delegate lower value responsibilities, like errands, for example, if you can have someone help you with those. Or you don't have to be doing some of the stuff that doesn't bring you joy, I would suggest doing that so that you're not over committed.

Alright, mistake number four is perfectionism. And I talk a lot about this on the podcast. I've had episodes on this because we are conditioned to be perfect. And that is insanity. Because to err is to be human. And I've said this quote before, but it's so critical to remember that being human means that we make mistakes, and we're never going to be perfect.

So if we strive for perfection, we're always going to be unhappy. And the perfectionism comes from a really young age and just the way the school system, they give us tests and in South Asian families, like in my family, if I got a 98, where are the other two points, like everything had to be perfect.

And as an adult, it's not helpful to be this way. Even if this served us to do well in school or excelling at work. And remember, the more we try to be perfect, and we're not going to be, then it just automatically leads to dissatisfaction. So by understanding this concept, you can start to not strive for perfectionism as much and just take it easy on yourself, give yourself grace, and realize that no one's perfect, and we can just do our best and be satisfied with that.

So in terms of combating perfectionism, just being aware of it, and realizing that it is okay to make mistakes, and maybe the next time something's not perfect, I get really triggered by a lack of perfection, because that's just how I was conditioned.

So when things are not perfect, I will literally just take three or four really long, deep breaths, inhale, counting to nine, exhale, counting to eight or nine, and rinse and repeat, do that a few times. And it just helps to ground me so that I can acknowledge that something being perfect doesn't matter, and then proceed to let it go.

The next mistake is not seeking help. So I think women often feel like they can do tasks themselves or they feel ashamed with whatever issues they might be having. And so then they might not talk to their friends or ask for support from people. And then that just adds to the burden even more.

So a few solutions for this is really, one thing to do is to reach out to friends and family. Because everyone is dealing with their own stuff and their own issues. So they're not going to sit there and think about whether you need help or not. But what I found is when I actually reach out to people, they show up for me.

So I was actually struggling myself with some things a few weeks ago. And I reached out to a dear group of close friends and a couple other individuals and everybody made time to call me and talk to me and it completely helped me move through that tough time. So point being, if you actually reach out to people, often they will show up for you and you're not a burden because just think about how you would show up for them.

Also, the second thing you can do is get professional help. Be it a therapist or some support, group therapy, or even life coaching. And one of my recent episodes, episode number 70, I discussed the differences between life coaching and therapy in case you're wondering about that. But those are some wondering more about the nuances and the differences between them and what would be a good fit for you. You can listen to that episode but they are also great options for moving through burnout and exhaustion.

Now another mistake that people make is not really managing their stress and just kind of living without intention. So this really creates more exhaustion for all of us and makes burnout worse. So some things you can do to deal with stress. Really take time for yourself, even if it's five minutes in the morning to savor your morning cup of coffee.

Have a routine, set an intention for the day, especially taking time to exercise. I make sure I exercise at least four to five times a week, and this really boosts my endorphins, and actually the breathing in cardio, like the rapid breathing, I noticed that just focusing on my breath kind of takes me out of my head. And it really helps to reduce stress.

As well as learning to say no to just not take on more stuff in your life. So another mistake, an issue that people have when they're struggling with burnout is really not having clear boundaries between work and personal life. So that includes reading work emails when you've left work, talking about work constantly with other people, with your partner, and letting work bleed into personal space and relaxation.

So really, it's important to set clear boundaries and give yourself deadlines and time limits for when you can engage in work stuff. Learn to unplug from technology and really have some tech free zones and tech free time. Plan things that are outside of work to really de stress and enjoy and really create more balance.

Mistake number eight is obsessing over issues or future problems and ruminating over them really just is a waste of time because we can't really control the future. We can't foresee everything and obsessing over things and going down rabbit holes for days and days is just really, really draining.

So that's another mistake that people make. They obsess over problems because they think that by obsessing and having anxiety over them, they can create a solution. And that's really not true. So a way to really not do this is to really practice the mind body connection.

And one easy way to do this is to literally tell yourself, there is a body and notice your body. Notice how you're sitting how you're standing, the contact that you might have with your chair or your feet on the floor and feel the weight of gravity. And just notice. And this is really a grounding technique. And what it does is it helps take you away your ruminating and it frees up the brain, it gets you into your body, it breaks the cycle of obsessing. So this is great.

Mindfulness meditation is awesome too, because sitting and meditating is really helpful in creating inner peace. But some people don't want to have to take time to meditate. I have a three N method that's one of my processes where you get distance from your thoughts and feelings. The first step it's really just notice. So simply noticing what your mind is doing gives you some distance, and then you're not obsessing as much. And that we talk about more inside my coaching program over home burnout for good.

Now the ninth mistake that people make is they are on the go, go, go go go go. And they underestimate our need for rest and relaxation and downtime. And so what this does is this often makes us exhausted because we'll burn the candle at both ends. And we're, let's say, working like crazy, doing a bunch of home stuff, helping our children, raising our children, managing our children. And on top of that, maybe we've got like a bustling social life.

And if you're over scheduling yourself, it can be so exhausting, and you just don't have time to rest and recoup. And even in medicine, the culture is always push, push, push, go, go go work, work, work, regardless of how you feel. So I bring that up, because we are conditioned to not take breaks. And we're conditioned to go, go, go. And so when we do this, in general, in our personal life, this really exhausts us, depletes us, and leads to burnout and exhaustion.

So ways to combat this is to first of all, be aware that you do need downtime, and really take some breaks throughout the day, give yourself time and space to do nothing sometimes.

Just be with yourself, be alone sit quietly, read a book, whatever. And you could even do it for five minutes. And you're gonna tell me, I don't have time to do that. But you actually could make five to 10 minutes and just give yourself some breathing space. And so that's in the short term.

And then in the longer term, you can schedule vacations and really have some downtime that way and get more balance in doing that. But just walk away from this episode, being mindful of needing time for rest and relaxation.

And number 10. The 10th mistake that I'm going to mention today in contributing to burnout that people make is not having an idea of their priorities and their values and living life with a lack of intention. Because when we don't live with intention, we are kind of just living life aimlessly. One day might be bleeding into the next and it's just really easy to get lost and you could be unhappy, and then one day bleeding to the other.

And the next thing you know a few years later your life looks the same. So some solutions for this are really taking time to reflect on your values. So pick your top three priorities and values and make a list of those and then really keep those somewhere either on your phone or somewhere where you can see them and really make decisions in line with those values and priorities.

And make sure that you're being intentional with your decisions and your choices and really in alignment with who you are and how you want to be. And if it's out of alignment, don't do it say no, and really think about the choices that you make in your everyday life.

So these are just 10 of the top mistakes that I believe are major contributors with burnout and exhaustion that I discussed today. Definitely take some time to either listen to this episode again or take some notes and put what I talked about today in action.

And if you're really at a point where you're ready to do the work to really heal yourself from the inside out and do the work required to find happiness and peace every day and really ditch burnout and exhaustion once and for all.

And this really happens in 90 days or less with my clients, book a call with me to get started PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. Apply to work with me and we'll see if we're a good fit to work together. On the call you're gonna get clarity and basically a roadmap to get out of burnout.

You'll walk away with both those things regardless of whether we work together. So thank you so much for tuning in today and I will be back next week.

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Episode 72: Stop Feeling Burned Out By Making Your Dreams A Reality

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about how a common misconception among people who are dealing with burnout is that they have no control over their lives. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how you can take control of your life and make the impossible possible. Tune in for more on this topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

Burnout often stems from a lack of imagination and vision, causing people to feel stuck and unable to make their dreams a reality.
Self-doubt is a common obstacle. It's crucial to change your mindset, believe in your capacity to achieve your dreams, and challenge negative thoughts.
Reflect on past achievements to boost self-confidence.
Practical strategies to make your dreams come true.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

https://buy.stripe.com/cN22c8cWH4Aq0KsdQT

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 72. Hello there. Thank you so much for being here today. Halloween, probably when you're listening to this will have already passed. I hope you had a great time with your children and maybe even dressed up yourself.

I recently attended a Halloween party, it was really interesting, met all kinds of people. And that was fun for me. And now I am preparing to do Halloween with my two little ones.

So today I want to talk about basically making our dreams come true. And I say that because one of the greatest contributors of burnout and exhaustion is really a lack of imagination and a lack of vision. And so many people, they don't think that the things that they want are realistic, and they're busy with the day to day grind, forgetting really about the larger picture and wishing that they could have the things they want or that they can make their dreams come true.

And without being able to feel the possibility of our dreams coming true, this can really leave us feeling trapped and stuck. And that is even more, right, like that resonates with exhaustion and dissatisfaction. A client of mine prior to working with me, she's a doctor and she really wanted to cut down on hospital medicine. She wanted to cut back at work by one day a week. And she really thought that this desire was totally impossible that it was a pipe dream.

However, through working with me, she really realized that what she thought was impossible was actually possible. And through really creating a vision of what she wanted for herself and finding her voice and building her confidence to really tap into that voice because she felt her voice was small for so long and that nobody was listening. Through this work, she made her dreams a reality.

So what she thought was impossible when she started working with me was actually possible and she made all of that happen. And now she has way more free time back she's really able to dedicate some time to herself and she's so much more satisfied at work. Burnout and exhaustion are way back in the rearview mirror for her, they are a thing of the past.

If you too want to ditch burnout and exhaustion once and for all, tune into my free masterclass on four steps to overcome burnout and exhaustion for good to get your peace of mind back. The link will be in the show notes.

Now the other thing is one of the biggest mistakes we make is believing that we have no control over our lives or believing that our desires are really unrealistic and cannot become a reality. But the magic of coaching really dispels this and some of my secret sauce is really showing my clients that the impossible is possible. So we're going to talk about unlocking your potential and realizing that you can make your dreams come true. We'll explore how you can transform your life and make the impossible possible today.

And the first step to doing this work is having a change in belief, which is also pretty much like having a mindset shift. We often underestimate the power of our thoughts, but believing that you have the capacity to achieve your dreams and acknowledging that the impossible is just a challenge waiting for you to make it happen. So we can actually cultivate beliefs, like belief in ourselves, belief that our dreams can come true in spite of whatever circumstances we're dealing with.

Now, circumstances basically are just neutral things outside of us. For example, where we live, or our spouse, or our job. So we can make our dreams come true in spite of whatever is existing in our life. And something else we do in doing this is to step into who we are and really owning our own power. Just like my clients do, they start taking baby steps and find their voice to advocate for themselves. And in doing so they start making their dreams come true.

And so this also involves ditching limiting beliefs, which are really beliefs that hold us back. Like beliefs where we're thinking, I can't do this, this is impossible, this is never gonna happen, so and so's never gonna let me do this. And instead, replacing them with power statements or empowering beliefs, which are more like I can do this. I can do anything I put my mind to.

Just step by step, day by day, I'm getting the life that I want for myself, I'm in the process. So if you can think about what your thoughts are and how you can start shifting your beliefs to get yourself started on your dream life, you're going to be well on your way.

Another barrier that really comes up for moms like us, professional moms, is having self doubt. So really being able to overcome self doubt and build the confidence that you need to chase your dreams. Because self doubt will creep in with negative thoughts and simply learning to challenge them, that is how we start to combat these thoughts. So if you are in doubt, think of all of the things you have achieved up until now. So this is how we're crushing self doubt.

Now pause this and make a list of five to 10 dreams that you have made come true in your life. And think about the time when you thought that these dreams, that came true now, there was a time where you thought they were impossible. So for me, this was actually getting into medical school, I really thought that was impossible. And I totally made it happen. And that was really because I decided I was going to do it. And I was not going to let anyone get in my way. And I made that dream a reality. And the power of my mindset is really what got me through before I even knew beliefs and mindset stuff, before I even knew anything about them.

Now take these past experiences, the dreams that you made come true that you once did not think were possible, right? Because that shows you that whatever dreams you think right now are not possible are possible. So use these to fuel your belief in yourself. Soak in that power, feel how powerful it is to really grab your life and create what you want. And you have that ability. You can do it because you are a powerful woman, you're smart, you can really do anything that you put your mind to.

So now take a minute to think of one dream that you want to make a reality, one dream that you want to make come true. Then think of how you would feel once that dream is achieved and begin to step into that feeling, that future self feeling. How would your future self feel? What would she even look like? How would she be dressing? And really just take some time every day to feel that feeling and visualize yourself succeeding in that dream that you would want to make come true.

So visualizing can really help rewire our brains to believe that our dreams are a reality. And then we're taking the action to actually make them happen. But our brain pretty much doesn't really know the difference between what we're telling it and reality. So this is actually really useful in creating the life that we want for ourselves.

So then once you are able to do this visualization, and I suggest doing it every single day, maybe first thing in the morning, that's a fun time to do it. Then decide the next step that you can make, the actual action you can take to move the needle towards that dream. And then you go ahead and you take that action, you could reach out to a friend as an accountability partner or even hire a coach. And there are just so many ways to go about doing this.

So you have to make some practical steps for making these dreams a reality, creating a roadmap. And then by setting clear goals and breaking them down into steps, you're gonna see your dreams happening along with really that belief piece and that feeling of what you would feel like once you achieved it, that you made that dream come true. So actually, I'm going to tell you something brand new and special that I'm offering from now until the end of the year, I cannot believe we basically have November, December and then the year is over.

So I think that this is a really fun way to set up the year of 2024. I myself usually do a year in reflection and I'll plan on delving into that before the year ends. But right now I'm offering a powerful vision breakthrough, so you don't want to be left out of this.

This is really the ultimate transformation to jumpstart your dreams and it is a very brief, tiny way to work with me. It's cheap and it is not that time consuming. It's just like a bite size way to start off 2024 in an amazing way. So if you're ready to finally break free from limiting beliefs, your own limitations, your self doubt, and embrace a life of endless possibilities okay, because the impossible is possible.

My clients, they come to me thinking that so many things that they want, they can't have and through our work together we go from exhaustion to truly their best life. Now the work we do inside my program makes the pipe dreams a reality. So many of my clients have come to me wanting a different role or even to cut back at work. And we make that happen. Even when they think it's impossible.

So for the first time I am offering a sneak peek of the magic of coaching, what so many of my clients have experienced, and you can now do this for just a limited time at a super reduced price and this offer, you're gonna figure out your dreams and that they're closer than you think. You're gonna get thinking outside the box. We're going to tap into your potential. Show you how the impossible can become possible. We're going to create a detailed step by step plan and roadmap to get you to where you want to be.

You're going to have complete clarity on what you want and where you're going. You're going to have a 60 minute one on one coaching call with me, dive deep into your aspirations and challenges. We're going to talk all about you, and I'm going to support you, you're going to have one week of Voxer access to me, stay connected with me get the support you need, send me messages, send me questions, and you're going to receive coaching from me in return.

And you're also going to have immediate access to the first part of my coaching program overcome burnout for good, which phase one, its alignment, and you'll get the vision and other thought work in there. Also, a week after your initial session, you're going to get a follow up call with me where we'll check in on your progress and I can provide additional guidance.

And I'm offering this only for $249. Really, don't let life pass you by, don't have regrets. Start taking action, start making your dreams a reality. And I know this may sound like a stretch but it's totally not. My clients and I are doing this every single day. So I know you can too. Space is limited.

So book this session today. I'm going to put a link in the show notes so you can do this bite sized package with me that's going to have a profound impact to get your 2024 started on an incredible foot. So I want to thank you for tuning in today. There's my new offer, that's limited for now and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode 71: Coping With Life’s Challenges By Being Human

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses how important it is to be kind to oneself as well as the conflict between cultural expectations and human nature. Dr. Prianca invites you to learn about how to treat yourself with compassion as you would with your children. Tune in for more on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

The power of being human: We’ll discuss the importance of giving ourselves grace and compassion for being human.
Overcoming Societal Expectations: Dr. Prianca shares personal experiences of growing up in a culture that values external achievements, appearance, and conformity.
Personal Transformation: How making life choices that align with one's inner values and needs, even if they go against societal norms, can lead to greater freedom, peace, and happiness.
Permission to Be Imperfect: View life as a journey with natural ups and downs, and understand that mistakes and non-conventional choices are part of being human.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 71. Hello there. Thank you so much for tuning in today. I'm so happy to have you as a busy professional mom listening to this podcast episode. I know time is limited. So I'm grateful to have you here and I'm wishing you a good holiday season as all the holidays are starting to come upon us.

So a little bit about what we do inside my program. A client of mine was actually recently telling me that she got exactly what she wanted in terms of her work schedule and her role, because before working with me, she did not even think that was possible.

She's a physician, she was able to cut back on hospital medicine and actually get more part time work through finding her voice and advocating for herself. And it's just incredible how something that felt like a pipe dream is now a reality and now she's got better work life balance and really feels like she can breathe again.

And I love hearing stories like hers because they really are a testament to the work that we do inside my life coaching program, overcome burnout for good. Because this work, it works. And so if you want to take your life back, get more time be done with mom guilt so that you're totally present for what matters at home, definitely check out my free masterclass on four steps to overcoming burnout and exhaustion once and for all. The link will be in the show notes.

Now today I'm going to talk about something extremely personal and vulnerable in my journey because I know that this is going to be so beneficial for you. So here we go. A major way to cultivate inner peace is really through giving ourselves grace and compassion for being human because that's what we are. We're human beings and human beings, by nature are fallible, To err is to be human. That's a pretty famous quote.

And I really want to dive into this today. Because being human was not a thing when I was growing up. It's actually not a thing, being human, in my line of work as a doctor either. And so I'll elaborate. I'm going to talk about my personal life in the context of the culture in which I grew up, which is South Asian culture. But I'm also very sure that a lot of what I'm going to talk about here today is applicable to other cultures and other upbringings.

So in my culture, external success and perfection are expected. Now obviously perfection doesn't really go with being human. So there's conflict right there. Achievements are extremely important and emphasized along with what aunties and uncles, so basically aunties and uncles are your parents, friends, you call everyone auntie and uncle out of respect.

So aunties and uncles are asking questions of your parents about what you're doing in life, what college you're going to, and all the external stuff, because everyone's comparing, and everyone's competing, and that is so inherent in the culture. Now, personal satisfaction, or effort or the journey or mental well being are not really acknowledged, they're not a thing. And I almost think of it as being expected to be a robot, which obviously, being a robot is also in conflict with being human.

So when you start to understand these expectations, and external things, the emphasis of importance on them, you can start to see how they don't really belong in being human. Like they're just so the opposite, that you can see how there might be some inner conflict or inner dissonance when this is what you're used to.

So going to an Ivy League school, for example, that's expected. And if that expectation isn't met, you're an automatic failure. And I hate to say that I did feel that way going to Wash U in St. Louis, though it was ranked pretty high when I entered starting college. Furthermore, there are only a few professions that are acceptable to choose as your career, doctor, lawyer, get your MBA or graduate degree, marry someone similar, and life will be good. Also going to college is a basic and that's nothing to be proud of. You can be proud once you've met the above expectations and gotten married and had kids. Wrong.

This is very formulaic, and so in the messiness that is life, this in reality does not play out well. The humanity is nowhere in this. Very robotic. So in Indian culture, I'm gonna give you another example. This is fairly common, where are the other points, you'll receive that feedback when you get let's say, a 97%, or 98% on an exam, never good job because you're supposed to be perfect. And this is a very common story. I experienced this myself and I also have heard this from other Indian kids who grew up in this country.

So I'm sure many can relate to this journey, that the effort doesn't matter. It's the finished product you have to produce and that's what some important. So when you're raised that way, imagine what happens when you're not producing, how you feel on the inside. Also, emotions weren't really a thing or acknowledged growing up. And people just kind of move on from whatever it might be, especially a negative emotion.

On top of that, in terms of my career, in the field of medicine, as a doctor, you are not allowed to be human, you're not allowed to make a mistake at all, and you have to be perfect. And if you do make a mistake, you can get sued. And it's a pretty big stressor, headache, and hassle. So this is ridiculous.

And I bring these examples up to show that a lot of this is just not congruent with being human. So for me being human was not a thing, and neither has been giving myself grace. So this is something I've really had to learn and to teach myself, and I'm always working at it. And I, of course, teach my clients to do this, too.

Now, the stories run so deep regarding my success, or my perfectionism, that I really, really struggle when things are not perfect. And this actually goes from really small things like cookie crumbs on the counter to larger things like maybe not making as much money as I could be making at work.

So I do a lot of work on noticing and letting go. And then I teach my clients to do this too, because that is really where we can start embracing being human and letting go of imperfections. And what's funny is, I'm really able to give my kids all kinds of grace for being human, being as they, are loving them unconditionally, applauding them for their efforts, telling them that they're learning and growing from everything, mistakes are no big deal because we are human. And it's totally okay to be imperfect.

So I can do that super easily. And then I try to take that compassion and put it towards myself. So I really want you to take a moment to think about how you see your children, and how gentle you probably are with them. And if you're not gentle, I guess why?

But if you are having a more gentle attitude towards your kids than you have yourself, see if you can transpose some of that attitude towards yourself. Because that is how we start to chip away at our perfectionistic tendencies, our type A tendencies, because those tendencies are really detrimental to our well being. So see if you can take some of that compassion and flip it on to yourself.

So a little bit more about my culture and how I grew up. It really emphasizes the exterior, the external stuff, your weight, for example. This is constantly commented on when I was growing up, you've lost weight, are you dieting, you've put on wait, you look healthy, what happened to your face, I mean, I have a pimple. That's what happened to my face.

Like these questions were a reality growing up, like so much emphasis on what you look like, and the outside. I mean, I look back on this. And I think that's completely crazy. Like I remember dreading seeing certain family members after a long period of time and being nervous that they were going to comment on my weight. But this is the reality, external stuff being valued.

If that happened to you think about how that affects you today. And that effect is so much more profound than we give it credit for, really. I would even take time to pause this podcast episode, and really brainstorm a few things that were external and how emphasized they might have been in your childhood. And once you think about that really take time to think about how that's affecting you today.

So on top of looks, and the external, the other really emphasize thing is your CV or your resume. And that's just important for how you're valued as a person, or even when you're dating. There's something called bio data, which is a really Indian thing where people put on Indian dating websites, their bio, meaning all their achievements.

And that is how, you know, matches are made. How big your house might be, the college that you went to, being a doctor, being a certain kind of profession, having money, being married, staying married, all expectations, and if you aren't perfect in these areas, you're going to feel insufficient. You're gonna feel not good enough, and that feels pretty shitty. And that can be so dark.

And that's why I'm talking about it today. Because I feel like these are the things that nobody talks about. And we have to talk about them. We have to bring them to the surface so that we can start acknowledging them, seeing how they're affecting us, and take action accordingly. So as I get older, I'm starting to realize that the exterior, the external, it really doesn't matter.

What matters is what's going on inside our minds, inside our hearts inside our souls inside the house. What's going on inside your house, that's what really matters, not what other people are seeing or they think it's what you are experiencing moment to moment, day to day, that's what matters because it's your precious life, and you deserve to be peaceful and happy.

So I've made two major changes in my life that are against the grain, they're outside the box, they're definitely not in line with any of the stuff that I mentioned.

One is pursuing my life coaching business. Now, that's not in line at all with what an acceptable South Asian career is. And a divorce, which is also not accepted and super taboo. In fact, it took me about a year after filing for divorce, to even be able to talk about it without feeling tremendous shame. And it's nothing that anyone said to me, it's just the way I was raised, that divorce is not a thing. But I had to do what was right for me and my family.

And the crazy part about this, about the coaching and separating from my spouse, though they were so the opposite of how I was raised, doing these things created so much freedom, peace, and happiness for me. And that kind of a home that I'm creating for my kids too that's so healthy for them. And I know this because I get feedback about my older child, that he's always smiling at school, and he's truly one of the happiest kids.

So my point to you is following the formula, having the good CV, having the success, having this picture perfect life on the outside, that may not and likely is not going to bring you happiness and peace. What will bring you happiness and peace is giving yourself grace to be human, and make the decisions that line up for you. Not what your aunties and uncles think, not what other people think, not what's on social media, not the pictures that you're posting, but really what's going on, on the inside.

So for me, I can conceptualize that my choices are wonderful and healthy for me and my kids in terms of my career and the divorce. But then there is a dissonance inside of me too where I'm living a life way differently from how I was raised. And that's why I'm talking about this today. Because this is really internal stuff that people don't talk about. And I want you to know that whatever struggle you're dealing with, you are not alone.

So of course, this dissonance inside of me, for the decisions that may not be in line with how I was brought up, that is hard, and it's painful, but it's also where being human comes in. And that's why this episode really is about being human and allowing ourselves to be human, allowing ourselves to be imperfect, allowing ourselves to make mistakes, because, and this is where this Brene Brown quote comes in and I think it's so important to think about. What we don't need in the midst of a struggle is shame for being human. So we’ve got to give ourselves grace, I give myself grace, and I adjust to a life that I didn't think would happen.

Medicine as a profession, for me has been disappointing. I never expected to, have a coaching business for example, I never expected to have a divorce. But here I am, and I am enjoying my life every day, I do feel tremendously fulfilled. And I'm happy. Even though I have veered so far off the course that was set for me at a really young age. So I get to create the life I want inside of myself and externally, regardless of how I was raised, regardless of what other people think. And so do you.

Because this episode really isn't about me, though I'm talking about myself. It's about you. It's about how you relate to what I'm saying. It's about how hopefully what I'm saying today, my story, my vulnerability, my truth can help you feel like you're okay in being human. And you get to make mistakes, and you get to have your journey, and you get to create whatever you want, regardless of how you were raised, regardless of what other people think.

We get to be human. Success and life. They're not linear, there are natural ups and downs. And this is a part of our journey. And this is a part of being human. And it is a journey. It's not a robotic path that we follow. We get to have imperfections. Mistakes, or decisions that we make that are less than ideal, allowing that, not seeing them as a huge problem, but accepting them as a part of our learning and a part of our human journey.

And the sooner we can do this and accept this, the sooner we can try to not be superhuman, and not expect that from ourselves. And therefore when we do that, we can have inner peace, inner calm, say goodbye to inner restlessness. So I'm telling this very personal tale here today because I wanted to give you the strength and the permission to do what aligns for you, regardless of how you were raised, regardless of what other people think.

Your parents are not the end all be all for what's right. They're human and have made their mistakes also, and in South Asian culture, parents are really revered and their word is the end all be all, or God's Word, or you know, whatever, it's in that light.

So of course, it can be very hard to see outside of that and see them as human. So just really give some thought to that as well. Whatever your desire might be, especially if it's outside of the box, you conform to, I want you to think about it. Aligning your life with what is right and peaceful for you is a key component of peace and happiness.

So now we're gonna do an exercise. Think of one thing in your life you'd like to do, but you're afraid of what other people would think. Now think about how little people actually perseverate on what's going on with you. Because they're way too caught up in their own stuff. And keeping that in mind. Use that as fuel to brainstorm how you can actually do the scary, outside of the box, outside of the perfect path thing, and find some peace and joy.

And when you're all freaked out about doing something that's not your cultural norm, do the following things. One: know you aren't perfect. Inherently. Two: mistakes and imperfections are going to happen all the time. So remember that.

Three: work on accepting that and letting shit go. Four: start to see life as a process and journey, not a formulaic robotic thing. Five: acknowledge and know that there are ups and downs, neither of which will last forever. So when stuff gets tough, remember, this too shall pass.

Six: Take a breath, slow down, and just be. Be with wherever you are, literally by breathing, focus on your breath, and count your breaths to 10 and then start again. So count the inhale, you count one, exhale, two up to 10 and repeat.

So try these things that I've talked about today. And I know you will see your life start to shift to more inner peace, more calm, because that's all we want. We want to feel peace. We want to feel happiness. We don't want to deal with overwhelm, exhaustion, and burnout.

And really taking some time to think about these things and shift how we think and do things, that is the currency for the good life, the life that we've expected to have. Your well being, it's not a luxury, it's a necessity. So take a step towards a brighter, healthier future and apply to work with me. My program offers personalized guidance, community, and life changing tools. Book a call PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. You'll get clarity on your roadblocks and walk away with your burnout free roadmap. Thank you so much for tuning in this week, and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode 70: Life Coaching vs. Therapy in Ending Burnout for Good

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about the distinction between life coaching and therapy and how each approach can benefit your life. Dr. Naik invites you to learn about which approach best fits your needs and evidence of the support life coaching can bring. Tune in for more on this topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

Understanding Therapy and Life Coaching: Gain a clear understanding of the differences between therapy and life coaching
Benefits of Therapy and Life Coaching: Learn the unique benefits of each approach
Evidence-Based Insights: Discover the positive impact of coaching on physicians through studies and clinical trials, particularly in addressing burnout and enhancing well-being.
Choosing the Right Path: Guidance on how to make an informed decision when selecting between therapy and life coaching, based on individual needs and goals.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 70. Well hello there, I am so happy to have you here listening this podcast today. It is the month of Halloween so I hope you are enjoying it with your children. And I want to talk a little bit about what we do inside my program overcome burnout for good.

Clients are having wins every single day, really being able to cultivate peace of mind and not go down the rabbit hole anymore, ditch overwhelm, ditch mom guilt and truly get their lives back. And if you want to learn more about this, check out my free masterclass on overcoming burnout, ditching overwhelm, and getting your peace of mind back, the link will be in the show notes.

Today I want to talk about the concept of life coaching versus therapy because some of you may not be that familiar with coaching. And I will be very frank here and say that when I first started getting into coaching, I thought it was a little hokey. I actually, in the very, very beginning, as I was getting my certification, I was a little bit embarrassed because it's not an MD like one of the degrees I have, right. And I also have a master's in neuroscience. So it's nowhere to the degree of that, a life coaching certification.

But what I learned is that life coaching truly has been a way for me to get results in my life that are way faster than anything in therapy. And that's why I really want to talk about defining and explaining therapy versus live coaching, and then you can see what you think might be a better fit for you, if at all.

So let's talk about therapy first. It's basically a service that is offered by trained therapists, often you're gonna have MSWs, meaning people with their social work degrees, or you might have somebody who had their certification in counseling, you can get your degree in counseling, also, you can have your PhD in psychology, and they also go through exams and practical exams in preparation for their work. That is their training.

And they will use things like cognitive behavioral therapy, CBT, or psychotherapy. And really, a lot of the work that's done in therapy is exploring thoughts, feelings, but often it's truly delving into the past. So what are your patterns and deeper than that, though, is how did your childhood affect where you are today?

And it's kind of funny, because in my culture, Indian culture, it's not okay to blame your childhood for anything. It's a very American concept. But of course, as we can acknowledge our childhoods really did shape who we became. And at some point, you get to pave your own way, which is more where the coaching comes in.

But basically, therapy often dives into how our parents may have affected us or certain events created trauma in our lives, and maybe challenges. And it's not so much about problem solving, but it's really to gain a better understanding of how you got here. So where did I come from? How did I get here?

And I think therapy is especially useful if you have a major challenging event. And that way you can figure out what brought you there, what is it in your past? What makes you tick, the way you tick? What were you told repeatedly as a child growing up? And so on and so forth, to really understand the context of all of your past stuff to figure out how that plays a role in today.

Now, I'm going to shift to coaching a bit. Coaching is more about the now and the future. So in my program, we get a little bit into the stories and patterns that we have that are not serving us and learn to drop those stories.

But essentially, coaching is thinking about where's my life right now? Where do I want it to go? And what is the roadmap to get me from where I am today to where I want to be six months from now? And so coaches really act as guides and given that the life coaching industry is growing, people really tend to have their own processes that they move through, and they take their clients through to have the specific result and that often comes from personal life experience.

And so for me, I use my experience in my life and all of the things that it taught me and that's how I created my coaching program overcome burnout for good, in which I've got five modules, plus bonuses, where I walk my clients through a specific process and specific tools and strategies, really streamlined strategies that are the fastest way to cultivate peace of mind and really be out of burnout once and for all.

And so why I'm so passionate about coaching is I have found that in the darkest times of my life or the most challenging or when I might feel overwhelmed, what I have learned in coaching and through my own processes, it really helps to pull me out of that place so much faster than 10s of 1000s of dollars and years of therapy ever did. So it's really, you have these efficient, streamlined ways to get you what you want in your life.

And for most of my clients that's truly ditching the mom guilt, finding peace of mind, being able to be present at home with their families, leaving work at work, enjoying the lives that they've worked so hard to build. And so really having those results with a very specific way to get there.

And what's really interesting about both forms of these mental health fields is that 10 years ago, even five years ago, people would never admit to going to a therapist, and yet I find now in conversations with many of my friends, they will very nonchalantly say yeah, my therapist said this or that. And it's much more accepted now to have a therapist, which is great. And so life coaching is a little bit newer, and I hope and believe that five to 10 years from now everyone will have a life coach. And they'll be talking about what their life coach said, which is awesome.

So if you feel like you really want to figure out how you got here, I think therapy is the best route to do that. But if you more really have a place where you want to go and you're having trouble getting there, as in a happier life, having more peace of mind, then coaching is the way because it's much more goals oriented.

You will learn how to deal with your thoughts and feelings and emotions and really be able to be present with even the negative feelings without them ruining your day to day life. And on top of that you take action to make things in your life happen. And I find that coaching really suits high achieving women and moms because we like the most efficient way to do things and coaching most certainly is that.

Now I'm gonna dive into how coaching is helpful and a great benefit for physicians because physician burnout is such a pervasive issue in this country. And physicians really show symptoms of burnout at double the rate of other careers, right, and so this is going to be worse for patients, worse for physicians, and coaching really helps combat that.

Actually a study in JAMA published in 2019 by the leading experts in physician wellness, they showed that coaching physicians improves overall quality of life. And actually the study examined the effect of six professional coaching sessions for 88 practicing physicians. And what they found was emotional exhaustion was decreased by around 20% in only five months.

Another study published in the Permanente Journal looked at the effectiveness of coaching in physician burnout. And what they found was that coaching interventions actually reduced burnout among physicians and through coaching, the physicians were able to manage their stress, improve work life balance, and really use coping strategies. So this, of course, led to more job satisfaction and improved patient care.

So we have here, right, like I've talked about studies that show the efficacy of coaching. So hopefully that shows you how great and beneficial life coaching is for all professionals, not just physicians. And my goal today was to really educate you on what life coaching is and what the benefits are. Because it's not so much out there as we understand, we're much more familiar with therapy.

So definitely think about what your goals are, where you are, where you want to be, or do you want to dive into your past to figure out if therapy or coaching is a better fit for you. But what I will also say is sometimes if you do both in conjunction with each other, they're very complementary because you can figure out with therapy really delve in your past, and that helps figure out the now, and of course the future, which is more coaching.

So if you want to get clarity on what's getting in your way or you want to end burnout for good once and for all get your life back book a call with me. PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. The link will be in the show notes. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode 69: Find Balance as a Mom with a Demanding Career with Dr. Bonnie Koo

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she and her special guest Dr. Bonnie Koo discuss various topics ranging from how important it is to take care of your mental health to how doing so creates a positive model of behavior for your kids. Dr. Naik and Dr. Koo invite you to learn about investing time into yourself in order to build a life you don’t need a vacation from.

In this episode, you will learn:

Take time for yourself: This gives you time, space, and a breather to get clarity in what you want to do with your life.
Get coached: Dr. Bonnie emphasizes the importance of seeking coaching, therapy, or other forms of support for your mental and emotional health. Coaching can help you understand how your thoughts create your feelings and how to navigate life's challenges.
Take Solo Trips: Taking solo trips or spending time alone can be rejuvenating. Whether it's a weekend getaway or a spa resort experience, dedicating time to yourself allows for reflection and self-discovery. Start with a dinner if that’s too daunting.
Focus on Emotional Regulation: Dr. Bonnie also highlights the significance of focusing on emotional regulation, especially for parents. Teaching children how to handle their emotions and modeling healthy emotional regulation is vital for their growth.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

Follow Dr. Bonnie Koo on social media:

Instagram:

https://instagram.com/wealthymommd or @wealthymommd

Facebook:

https://facebook.com/wealthymommd

Website:

https://wealthymommd.com

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 69. Today I am so excited to have a special guest coming to us on this podcast, Dr. Bonnie Koo. She is a master certified life coach, physician, and founder of Wealthy Mom, MD.

She's a money coach for women physicians, and a proud graduate of Barnard College and Columbia University's College of Physicians and Surgeons. She is the host of the WealthyMomMD podcast and author of Defining Wealth for Women: Peace, Purpose, and Plenty of Cash. She currently resides in northern jersey with her family. So let's get to it and dive in.

All right, I am so excited today because I have a very, very special guest. Her name is Dr. Bonnie Koo. She was actually a coach of mine, and I'm thrilled to have her here. She's been doing amazing things and really thinking outside the box, which is what I want to dive into today. So welcome, Bonnie. Hey, there. Thanks so much for having me. Yeah, it's great to have you on. So I wanted to ask you, I know you're a dermatologist by trade, what really led you to becoming a coach?

Yeah. So I'm just laughing because like, it was not what I was expecting. I think that's the story for a lot of us. It's not like we were like, let's go to medical school or whatever career and then let's just change your mind a few years into it, right? Like, I don't think any of us had that goal. And so, I mean, the short story is that I was learning about money just for myself, because I realized I had no idea what I was doing. And then I was in a Facebook group of other physicians and it was for money, specifically. Just a community group where people were helping each other out.

And then I noticed that I was answering all the questions, and then people started tagging me, this was just fun for me. And then someone was like, why don't you start a blog? And so I did. And then it just went on from there. And then I just started getting asked to speak. And then I started working with a coach because to me, this was just a hobby. And then eventually, I got to the point where I had to either let it go, because I just had my son who's now six or make it a business, although there's obviously a lot of options in between, but those were the two options in my head.

And then at some point, I just decided, it wasn't like there was a specific reason if I'm perfectly honest, I was like, why not? The worst that can happen is that it fails and I'm still a doctor. Yeah, being a physician is not a bad fallback career, I suppose. I'm sure people are thinking that. Okay. So the personal development is the hobby, right? Which leads you to something that you're really enjoying, and then you make a decision to monetize it.

So what I think is really remarkable here, and why I really wanted to have you on the podcast is what gave you the courage to step out of that box, because there is pretty much, with or without people acknowledging it, there is kind of a box that physicians are put into or whatever box you might be in, in your culture, and just having the guts to step outside of that not really knowing what comes next.

Yeah, that's a great question. I think for me, I started meeting other people doing similar things. And so there's a conference called fincon, it's like in the fall of every year, it's probably like, happening this week or last week. And it's where all the people in the finance media world come together. And so I started to just meet other people who are doing this, including other doctors, there were a few other doctors. So I think just having that community, it was small, but just other people doing it. So like, I wasn't the only like weird and crazy person doing this. I think that was helpful.

And then honestly, working with a coach, like she helped me navigate the decision. And then once I decided to do a business, she helped me figure out what I could or couldn't do. And she also pointed out some things that maybe I wasn't thinking of, she's like, you have basically been building an audience for the past two years, not like on purpose, but just because I've been just helping people. And so she was like, you're in the perfect position to monetize it, if you want. And then I was like, okay. So it's interesting.

And then I took all these courses on how to learn how to run a business, because I didn't have any business skills. And so why would I Google it myself? I feel like a lot of people do this. I'm like, why would I Google it like people already know how to do this. I'm just gonna learn from them. I don't know if I'd describe it as courage. I think again, it's like being surrounded by these people. So it was almost like normalized that you can do this.

But what's really fascinating in life in general, is that a lot of us think that, especially physicians, you go to college, you go to med school, you pick a speciality, you go into residency, maybe fellowship, and then you work and then it's going to be a steady income, and all the steps are there.

So it feels so certain, even though you do have to pass the boards and do a lot of steps along the way. So it isn't actually certain but this false sense of certainty that we have in our careers, as opposed to being an entrepreneur, which just by nature is much more shaky, and it's more obvious that step A is the opposite of certainty. Exactly right.

So it's a lot of trial and error or failing forward or any of those concepts. So that is why I bring up the courage piece. Where of course, stepping into the unknown pretty much we're doing that all the time. We have no control over what the future holds.

Right, but at the same time doing something that's so different from what you're used to, or what you've been taught, or what you thought your life was going to be, and really just going for it, I think is really inspiring for people like, and that's why I say courage because for many people staying in the status quo, no matter how boring or dissatisfying or even malignant and might be, they'll stay there because they're terrified of the change. So yeah, can you relate to any of that, or can you elaborate on?

Yeah, well, here's a few things that I didn't mention. So two things is I had a different career before medical school, I was a non traditional student, I worked at Morgan Stanley, not in finance, but I worked in IT. And so I didn't have this like identity of just being a student. So I think that's part of it. The second thing is right after college, I did some pretty intense personal development work. And so I say that because I think I was already sort of more open minded that things can change, and that people do this, if that makes sense. Like, I'd forgotten about it. And I feel like I regressed during medical training.

But I think that's also why when I started working with my first coach, it was just really clear to me like, oh, yeah, remember this work, and just how fun it is to always be growing. Because I think what happens is, whatever career you choose, you become stagnant at some point, right? Because like in med school, it's like, we're learning all these new things, and you have residency, you're learning all these new things. And the first year or two of being attending is also exciting, right? And I feel like a lot of doctors get bored after like, three to five years, sometimes earlier.

Well, there's nowhere to go. The beauty of medicine is it is a steady job. People will always need doctors. But at the same time, there's not that much upward growth, like you're a doctor and you're doing the same thing more or less, unless let's say you're managing your practice, and maybe you work less, or maybe you become an entrepreneur on the side, but just straight being a doctor, you're going to do the same thing in your 10th year that you're doing in your first or second year. And that, I agree, like you kind of just hit like a plateau there and you aren't really growing in your career, per se.

Yeah. And I think that's when a lot of people get. They talk about the seven year itch and marriage, but I feel like it's more like a three to five year itch in medicine. I think people look around and are like, oh, is this it? Because I think we all thought like once we became attendings that we would live happily ever after, basically. And then we learned that's not a thing, and then we're really disappointed.

Correct. And then the beauty is you have the steady income. And sometimes you can, well that's the work that you do, which feel free to talk about that. Like so, you have the money. And then what do you do with it? You have the luxury of maybe making your money work for you?

Yeah, I mean, so I coach people on money. But what I realized after doing this for some time is it's not just about the money because you can have all the money in the world. But if you're an unhappy person, it doesn't matter. Right, you can take nicer vacations and eat at Michelin star restaurants, I guess, right?

So I really try to teach my clients money is a tool to help you do things, it is very useful, obviously. But also money is not going to make you happy. And because we all know that technically, but we really think we'll be happier with money, like certain things are possible. And certain things are more fun.

Like I love traveling first class, like I definitely am happier while flying first class, right? Like, there's no doubt about that. But those experiences alone aren't going to make my life rich and fulfilled. So I really try to help my clients do a little bit of both. And that's mainly from like the coaching because once you get coached on one area of your life, it kind of filters into other areas of your life.

I was laughing about the first class business class flying, laughing silently, but what that brought up for me was that those kinds of experiences are transient. Right? So money might buy you that but that comes and it goes but a lack of money, I think also can create a lot of stress that will make you unhappy.

Yeah. Well, so I don't know exactly who your listeners are. Are they mostly physicians or high income women?

It's pretty much career driven, high achieving, working moms.

I mean, pretty much everyone listening is not going to struggle with basic needs that money provides, right. And so I'm sure you've heard of a study that over a certain amount of money adjusted for where you live doesn't increase happiness, right? Obviously, if you don't have money to buy food, being able to buy food is definitely going to increase. It's not even happiness. It's like, just be not worrying about those primal things you need to live right. But yeah, after a certain amount of money, like it doesn't do as much as we think except for flying first class.

And the fancy meals, which by the way, I feel like the fancy meals that are curated and they look beautiful on the plate. I always leave those places hungry, wanting a piece of pizza. Like if you've ever been to 11 Madison Park, or you know they do these, well, that's a bajillion courses. But if you go do like a lesser version of that, like three courses, of like bite sized food, and then I'm leaving craving more, having spent how much money.

It's funny. I just went to France a few months ago, Paris specifically and I don't think I enjoy fancy food as much as I used to. To me it was like it's about the food. It's also the experience and I'm not sure if I enjoyed it. Maybe I'm just getting older and I'm just not used to going out as much as I used to. But basically what I'm saying is I don't need to go to a fancy two or three Michelin star restaurant, they tend to be kind of stuffy anyway, you know. And I feel like you know, a bit more of a modern hip restaurant is more my style now.

I agree. During COVID, when I didn't go to restaurants, after people started emerging, I remember being really appreciative of service. But now I'm at a point where I think most of like the fancy meals, it's the same thing like every single time. So it does start to lose its novelty. And then you're kind of just looking for the quality of food, rather than the fanfare of it all. So something I wanted to also ask you is, what do you think would be useful for the exhausted burnt out professional moms, in terms of if they're on the precipice of making a change? What advice would you give them?

Wow, there's so much. Well, I think the first thing is to take care of yourself, right? Because all those things you described is mostly a result of just not prioritizing themselves. So I think there's a lot of work in that, right. And women, we're basically socialized to be caretakers. And even if you don't have kids, that extends to just the people around you, maybe your parents, etc, right?

Maybe in your culture, too. But in my culture, or a lot of other cultures, like you want to have a daughter because a daughter takes care of you, the sons don't. Right, have you heard that before?

Yes, of course, in general, cultures, letting men walk away scot free from so many things that they could actually be contributing to including caring for your parents. Right?

Yeah. So I think there's a lot of that. And I think it's even way more exacerbated if you're a parent, because you're just giving so much to your kids. And that has a toll on you. Because then I see a lot of women, they feel like they don't even know who they are anymore. Because they've just been giving, giving, giving. And then obviously, depending on your work circumstances, and whether you've gone through a divorce, there's obviously a lot of things that can cause stress. And so I would say number one is really take care of yourself.

I actually taught a lot of my clients be willing to go part time and work less. But of course, they're always like, Well, what about money, right? They don't want to make less money. I was like, listen, money circumstances are temporary. And part of me is like, you might need to go part time or even take a sabbatical in order to a) recoup.

And then what if that's necessary to actually make more money? That's something people don't consider, because they're so focused on like, well, if I work part time, that means I make less money. In the short term, yes. But then the thing is, you don't have headspace to think about things or be creative, or to even think about having a side gig when you're burned at both ends, you know?

Absolutely. So I'm really intrigued by that. I love that concept that you're mentioning, what's the strategy behind that? Like, how do you coach your clients who you're saying, hey, maybe go part time, maybe take a sabbatical? What does that look like in reality? And how are you helping women to actually do this? Because that sounds really scary. And I'm sure many women are listening to this thinking, yeah, that's great and everything, but no, thanks. You know, they're all freaked out.

Yeah. So part of it is looking at their money to see what's going on. The thing is, most of my clients aren't going to go broke. Like when I say go broke, like, they're not going to not be able to feed their kids or their family if they take some time off. Most of them will just go part. I mean, it's all different. To be honest, the thing is, even when you're doing a sabbatical, there are so many options to make money. Like you can just do like a per diem or locums. Right, I think you do something like that.

So it's not like you turn the money faucet completely off. But it's like, how can we create more space and time and for some people, it's like literally just working one less day a week at their current job or, again, as physicians, there are a lot of options, expert witness work, etc. So it's not like you have to completely turn off the money income, but then it's also getting their money in order. Because the goal is to be in a position where if your job income stops, there shouldn't be a catastrophe in a month or two, right?

Yes, exactly. It's more, I think, just the idea of slowing down the incoming and what am I doing about the outgoing, that people just kind of freeze and have a fight or flight moment during that conversation.

I think they also have to realize that what they're doing now is completely unsustainable. If you think about the decrease in income being temporary, you could think of that as like the investment in yourself to get better, and to build a life where you're not going to need a vacation from right.

Yeah, we need time and space to actually create and have thoughts flow. Because when you are in the day in and day out, day to day grind, you're just surviving. So there's very little room to actually transform or grow during that time. What else besides the part time work would you add to your advice for busy exhausted mothers?

Well obviously getting coached. And I'm not just saying that as a coach, but also as a client. Like I don't know if you're getting coached actively right now, Prianca, but like people always. Actually I was just doing a call with someone and they were like, surprised that I was still getting coached on stuff.

What I've learned from that is, I think people think, whether it's for themselves or looking at other coaches, that we get to a point where our brains are just beautiful inside and like there's no negative thoughts and like, I can handle anything and that kind of thing, unfortunately, yeah, we're human.

Yeah, we're still human. Like, I'm working with a parenting coach now and like. Oh, that's cool. I would say parenting it's like the hardest job in the world right?

And the most important too. I feel like most people feel like for me, my job as a mom is the number one job even though I spend a lot of time with my career and other things but it's top of mind.

Yeah. And then also what I realized is like I think every parent absolutely needs a parent coach. And part of being the best parent that you want to be is like working on yourself. And so that's why I also think coaching is, every parent coach does it differently. Mine coaches me and then also helps with some tips and tricks, but a lot of it's just coaching me and I'm like, freaked out, Jack's gonna get kicked out of school, like, you know, our brains just go to worst case scenario, he's gonna get kicked out of school, and then wanting to fix it right away. And so she has to coach me to calm my brain on that topic.

But yeah, I think getting coached is so important because understanding that our thoughts create our feelings, it's just life changing. But there's more than just, as you know, like, the way I'm trained is like really just working on your thoughts and how they downstream to feelings. But as you probably know, there's like other things at play that aren't just related to thoughts.

So like, I just feel like there's so much support that's available for your mental and emotional health that I think a lot of us neglect, because everyone kind of knows, like, oh, yeah, you should work out and go to the gym, because you'll feel better. And it's good for your health, right. But our mental health is just not prioritized at all, as you know. So I think that's really, really important is to prioritize your mental health. And there's so many ways to do that. Whether psychiatrists, therapists, coaching all the above.

I mean, I have a personal therapist, I'm in group therapy, and I have a coach. So I very much believe in taking care of myself first. Because that's always how we get to show up as the best versions of ourselves for them, and also setting an example for them, hopefully, so that they grow up caring for their own mental health as adults.

Oh, that's such a good point. I don't think I really thought about that. Here's another thing, right? And I didn't mean to make this into a parenting thing. But this applies whether you're not parent is if you think about it, our generation, although I think you're a lot younger than me Prianca.

I'm not that much younger than you. I think I'm like a couple years younger than you. Yeah.

You just look so young. But you know, we were raised not being taught anything about how to handle our emotions. And if anything, especially cultural is like, don't show emotion, like, be stoic. And then if you're highly educated, it's just like pushing on through school and getting whatever you have to done. And then if you're a doctor, it's worse as well through residency.

So I think we have to learn that skill ourselves and learning it ourselves. Everything we do, our kids are watching us, it's modeled for them, right? And so if you grew up in a family just yelled and punished, and grounded you all the time. It's so funny, because no one's gonna say like, well, how a parent I'm gonna do the same thing for my kids. But as you know, like you end up parenting like your parents. It's kind of insane kind of a mind f, if you think about it.

Well, it comes really naturally. My experience is, I think about the way I was parented, and then I think about. It's in a book, How to Raise Successful People, which I may have recommended to you by Esther Wojcicki but she talks about really going through everything, how you were raised, and thinking about what you want to propagate forward and what you want to eliminate.

I don't know if I want to propagate any of it.

Okay, so for me, a lot of it. I'm like, okay, I'm not like my parents at all. But then what I find is in an academic setting, or like, when I start seeing my son, if he's doing well in school, then I'm kind of like, Alright, I have to help foster this, but not in the same way that my parents did, in a gentle kind way. But I can feel that it's all stirring up the old stuff where I was trying to do the best I could in school, and then I'm thinking alright, yeah, let him do the best he can do but without the punishment, and without tying in any his self worth to that and having like, a way bigger distance from all that.

Well yeah, we definitely were raised in the punishment is how you get people to comply and I mean, it is effective, but it also totally squashes self esteem. Anyway, that's what I'm learning how to navigate. And it's been fascinating for me, and also just showing me like all the areas that I still have work to do, you know?

Yeah, well, we're all constantly growing and changing and doing the best we can. And I really believe that our generation, we are doing better than our parents did. And hopefully our kids will do even better.

I think so. Yeah, yeah. Although, I bet our kids are gonna say the same thing about us.

Well, I'm wondering if it's gonna be because even social media and all the info that's out there, it's very much we're trying to foster these independent people. And we ask them all these questions, and we're much more into mental health, but I wonder if the complaints gonna be the other way. Like, why couldn't my mom just be normal? And why did she have to ask me like how I felt about this? Like it was too psychological?

Interesting, but everything comes down to feelings, like truly.

Well, yes. So today, I was talking to coaches in my mastermind. And I was saying that really the work that pretty much we all do is helping people to sit in the discomfort because once you learn to actually sit with it, that's the currency for the good life because it's being able to be present with your anxiety sometimes, or whatever negative emotions and getting a little bit distance from them, be it through the model or other methods, but really not being one with our thoughts and our feelings. 24/7 Because that's where the torture lies.

I know and little kids, they can't understand like, why can't I have something that I want? Or why do I have to do things I don't want to do. Like brushing his teeth it's like a battle. Like, well I don't want to brush my teeth? None of them do. They don't. Yeah. And he's like, so why should I like I don't want to so therefore I shouldn't.

If I'm really honest here, one of my least favorite things with my kids is the ADLs like, I dread the morning brush teeth and the evening like brush your teeth before bed. And it really depends on how tired I am at night. But especially my two year old, she won't let me brush her teeth. And then I just let her do like very subpar job. And I'm like, alright, it's over.

I mean, which kid actually does the full two minutes? I mean, I don't think anyone does. I do 30 seconds. I'm like, You know what, 30 seconds is good enough?

Yeah I don't know. They hate brushing their teeth. I don't know. And they can't understand that is an automatic and a non negotiable of life. It's just one of the things that we don't need to get into the reason with them, but they hate it.

It boggles my mind. I'm like, doesn't he like. But like, wake up and you've got that, like morning mouth thing going on? I'm like, how is he not bothered by that? But kids just don't seem to be.

They don't care. I know. I hear you. Anyway. Yeah, those chores are tough. I will say though I have an au pair now. She often does the morning brush teeth. And they actually let her help and whatnot, like more than they will me. So yeah, my life has become infinitely better with that. Extra set of hands with her. So I highly recommend that if you have the space for it. It will take that stuff off your plate.

Yeah, I mean, we just have one. We both work from home. So we haven't needed one. But I wouldn't hesitate to hire one if I had multiple kids and had a schedule that made it hard to handle it myself.

Any other advice for exhausted professional moms?

So even if you can't, like I talked about go part, time take a sabbatical. Like you could take a little trip and go to a spa resort by yourself. I'm glad you asked this again. Because when I tell people that I take solo trips, they're shocked. A lot of women are shocked whether they have kids or not. Right. They're just like what, you can do that? And so I travel a decent amount for work. I go to a lot of conferences, but for my birthday this year, I went to Maribel for two nights by myself.

I remember when I told Matt he was like, what? You're not going to hang out with the family? I'm like no. Maribel is an all inclusive spa resort. I love it. I've been there many times. It's amazing what just even a weekend away will be so like nourishing and for anyone listening Maribel, there's three locations, Austin, Berkshire's, which is Massachusetts and Arizona, just two hours south of Phoenix. They are amazing resorts. It's all about wellness and prioritizing and mindfulness. Have you been to one?

I have. I enjoyed it. I also went by myself. My only thing was I felt like I was hungry there. They're too healthy. And I know it's all about wellness. They do the food health, you know, the healthful eating, you know.

You can always get more food, right?

I know but it's all, it's too healthy for me, like I need a steak or a burger like.

Oh, you should have done cook for me. Do you do that? That's good.

I did do that one of the nights. Yes. And that was good. But yeah, that was my only qualm with that place. Yeah.

So yeah, I think that's a great place or just like taking a trip with your girlfriends. I think, again, so easy to just stop doing that because you get into this routine. So I think even that, like I require a decent amount of time for myself. And now it's like normal, I don't feel like, although lately I have been trying to minimize travel a bit more just because Jack started kindergarten and I want to be available for him because we sent him to a Waldorf school.

I saw your post on social media about a more nature immersed school, and I thought, wow, that's awesome.

He's on a farm. And he is gardening and feeding animals, like they're outside, even when it's wet outside. So I had to buy him all this special gear. There's zero academics in their kindergarten. Because their whole philosophy is that developmentally like it's easier to learn when they're a little older. So they actually read a lot later than mainstream school. And so my friends warned me that they won't be reading until second or third grade, even.

They really focus on social and emotional development. And so it just was in line with all the things that I've been learning myself, right, just like really focusing on emotional regulation. Because if you think about it, those skills are way more important than your academics.

It's so true with my children, too. I always think like, well, what is the endgame in this? Like, whatever it is. It's not straight A's. Right, that's for sure. And also people get really crazy about sports and teams and this and that. And I'm like, alright, well are you gonna become a professional athlete? If not, like we don't have to be so crazy about this. Like, it's okay. They learn to be on a team. To me, it's more of a social, like you're talking about skill building.

I don't understand. Like I remember even before Jack was born, just like seeing that this was a thing. And I was so confused, because that's not how it was when we grew up, like our activity was just roaming around the neighborhood on our bikes and our parents not knowing where we were, you know those were our activities.

And so I actually, because he is on a farm all day, like they're literally being physically active. Like, I don't feel the need to do it. And also, they actually said that it's actually not great for them at this age, I forget, but that was enough for me to be like see, they told me not to do it, I'm not gonna do it.

Yeah, I think that's amazing. One thing I will say is my son's kindergarten teacher was saying that she teaches the kids a song about boundaries. And I said, oh, my, I was freaking out. I said, Oh my god, that's amazing. I said, can you imagine if we had learned that at a young age, boundaries like I didn't know what that was until.

They just learned about the personal bubble, the space bubble. Learning that like yeah, there's like everyone has a bubble and you have to ask for consent. And Jack that's his challenging area because he doesn't understand that and because he's so sweet and loving. If he met you like he would just like hug you but he's very strong. So it's almost like he's tackling you. So he doesn't quite understand that not everyone likes to get hugged. I'm like, listen, I know some people are weird. They don't want hugs. So you always have to ask, he still doesn't ask he just will embrace you.

Aw he has to regulate his kindness. Aw. I love that. So I love this concept of take some time and go on a trip alone. I think people are really afraid to do it.

Start with, it doesn't have to be even a night like I think baby steps, right? Because if you're married with kids, I know we're focused, because I'm sure not everyone listening has kids. Like, I have met women who are married with kids who literally never been away from their kids, even one night and their kids are older. I know your eyes are just wide.

I don't even know how that's possible. That's really intense.

So many people, they don't even go out to dinner without their kids.

It's too much. Start with a dinner. Let's just say that, start with a dinner alone. And actually, you never know if you let's say you sit at the bar and you eat dinner, you can meet people around you and you make new friends or just the possibilities are endless with that. What I was going to say about the alone time, I recently realized because I would take my kids on trips, and I took a few days to just reset by myself. And it was so magical that I only had to care for myself.

That was the whole thing that I didn't have to worry about. All right, the brushing teeth or the breakfast. All their needs, which we care for all the time. It's so automatic that one day even to just only think about yourself and be quiet. I like the friends trip idea. But I also think the time when you're not talking to other people and feeling like you have to be entertaining, or engage or listen or any of those.

That's why I like Mirabel solo. Because you don't have to talk to anyone. And it's fine, because a lot of them are there by themselves. Some people go with their girlfriends, but like no one's expecting you to like engage.

And it's in that solitude and the quietness that you can get your best ideas or just restore or you're not giving to anyone except yourself.

And I think that's so fascinating that so many women, that concept of oh, let me just give to myself, and no one else, is so shocking for them. It's a world that they don't know. So yeah, start with that. Even if you can do, like I have a goal of doing it one 24 hour shift a month alone, like that is my goal.

That's amazing. I don't think I have, well, when I went to Paris for 10 Nights. Yeah, I didn't bring my family. I didn't mean for it to be that long. But you know, my business class tickets were already booked. So I couldn't change them. Probably not entirely true.

That's so funny. Yeah. So I have that as a goal. In addition to I think with friends, it's always good to have like a yearly trip you do with a certain group, let's say for doctors or med school friends, or college friends, or whatever other group you have, and just make it an annual thing. And that way, it's already there. Because if you just let these things go years go by.

I know time goes so fast. And it's also like I only have one I can't imagine what it's like with more than one little one. But I think lately I've been trying to pick resorts to have a kids club of some sort.

So we can just park them there for even a few hours is helpful. Or I bring my mom sometimes. Yeah, although she needs a break too. Well, that's not your job, though. But yeah, I mean, I think that's another thing, it's like, don't feel bad about having support. Because I think also we think do everything ourselves. Right.

So like hiring the au pair, or just hiring a part time babysitter or like, don't clean your house, someone else could do that. Like there's so many things you can outsource and they don't cost as much as people think. Like a lot of women I meet don't like to cook, I'm like you can hire a personal chef or get meal, like there's so many services now that do that. Even if you did it a few times a week, that would be helpful.

Absolutely, or just really taking inventory of the things that bring you joy and don't and then start outsourcing the ones that you don't enjoy. Like if you don't find cooking therapeutic, some people do, but if it's not a therapy session for you, and you find it tiring, you don't want to clean up. For me all the prep, the cooking the cleaning afterwards, like that's a big chore for me. So I'd rather have someone help.

I don't do that Matt does it and then he just leaves stuff everywhere. And I was like, listen, you do the laundry. He loves doing laundry. Like you do the laundry, I sometimes cook, I take care of all things Jack, and then you have to deal with dishes and the garbage. Like it's a great division of labor that we have, you know.

I clean up sometimes but it's just putting stuff in the dishwasher. It's not like it's hard, you know? No, it's not.

No, I was gonna say and also he can manage Jack when you take your solo trips.

Yes, I think that might be harder. So that's something we have to navigate because his school is kind of far right now. And so it's a lot of driving. And so I think this fall, I've kind of minimized although I already took one trip and I have another one coming up but just being more picky with like speaking engagements and things like that, because I want to be away a little less because last year I was gone a lot. I mean, it was fun for me. Don't get me wrong.

Yeah, things wax and wane. I love that. Well, thank you so much for all of your pearls and your journey. So beautiful that you shared with us today. And please tell us anything about your business, how we can find you, follow you, all those good things. And of course, I will link to everything in the show notes as well. But definitely tell us verbally.

Yeah, so everything is wealthy mom MD. So it's my website. That's my instagram handle, same as my podcast, wealthy mom MD. And then as you know, I have a book, you can find that on my website, but it's called Defining Wealth For Women. It's a pink book.

I love that you wrote a book and I just think that that speaks to how we all have the ability to make our dreams come true. It's just them matter of getting your mind to it and then taking the action to make it happen

Exactly just taking steps, like all this stuff happens by doing like a lot of little things

Wonderful, well thanks so much for coming today, it was great having you.

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Episode 68: The Fastest Way To Make Hard Decisions

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about how we make hard decisions and the most efficient strategies to deal with them. Dr. Naik invites you to learn about how you can identify and face the fears that are holding you back in order to create the life you want for yourself. Tune in for more on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

Mastering the Art of Decision-Making: Gain valuable insights into the decision-making process and learn strategies to overcome analysis paralysis. Discover how facing your fears head-on can lead to more confident and intentional decision-making in your career and life.
The Definition and Power of Fearing Forward: Explore the concept of "fearing forward" and the transformative impact it can have on your life. Hear real-life examples of individuals who faced their fears head-on and reaped the rewards of courage and resilience.
Understanding Fear as a Survival Mechanism: Delve into the psychology of fear and how it has evolved as a fundamental aspect of human survival. Gain insights into how our brains process fear and why it sometimes holds us back in modern society.
Unlocking Greatness Beyond Fear: Uncover the immense potential that lies on the other side of fear. Learn how stepping out of your comfort zone, whether it's leaving a job, making a life-changing decision, or facing personal challenges, can lead to a life filled with fulfillment and happiness.

Don't miss this episode, where we discuss these topics and provide practical steps to help you overcome fear and make empowered decisions in your life. Join us as we explore the journey to authentic and intentional living.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 68. Welcome to this podcast episode. I am so excited to have you here today. If you've been listening, thank you so much for tuning in. And if you're new, welcome, welcome.

It is now getting cold in the Northeast, school is majorly in session. I actually went to a back to school night at my older one's school, it was so beautiful and his teachers are so enthusiastic and it's wonderful. And his kindergarten teacher teaches the kids on how to speak up for themselves, how to really advocate for themselves, and to have boundaries.

And I know that I'm sure you feel the same way I do, I wish I had been taught that when I was young because it's so useful, right? Because so many clients come to me struggling with boundaries and really finding it hard to be confident in themselves and having a hard time making decisions, which is really what brought me to today's episode topic.

And the work we're doing inside my program overcome burnout for good is so remarkable. Clients are just having breakthroughs every single day. And one of my clients actually was telling me, she's a doctor and a mom of three young kids, and she really felt like she was struggling with balancing everything, juggling it all, feeling like she was drowning. I'm sure that sounds familiar to you. But through working with me, she was really able to find balance in her career and able to manage stress and anxiety so much easier and being able to cultivate peace of mind in any given moment.

And with her I think it was especially tough because she had premature twins. And so she really had to work hard on cultivating peace when her baby twins might get sick, you can imagine the newborn phase and it really can be anxiety inducing. So cheers to her, kudos to her for doing the hard work that we do and really reaping the benefits. And to learn more about this process that we use inside my program, I encourage you to sign up for my free masterclass on four steps to overcome burnout and exhaustion once and for all. The link will be in the show notes.

Now let's dive into today's topic, which really is about how we make hard decisions. And hard decisions really arise when we are afraid. Like they'll sit there, these decisions we have to make, they loom in the back of our minds. They're pending, they're definitely draining us of time and energy and brain space. And so they're difficult, right. And often the reason they're difficult is because they are tied to fears.

So we're going to talk about the concept of fearing forward. Now this is my own concoction, my own concept, fearing forward, but basically fearing forward is facing our fears, indecision, and moving forward anyway. So moving forward, in spite of our fears is fearing forward. And there's a famous quote by Franklin D Roosevelt, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Okay, so just remember that.

So I'm guessing maybe you find yourself afraid of making decisions, doing certain things, but you are underestimating yourself, you are underestimating your own power. And the reason you're doing this is it's basically a safety mechanism.

So this safety mechanism of fear in our brains is really a fundamental part of human survival. And fear is an emotional and a physiological response that has evolved over millions of years. And its purpose is to protect us from potential threats and dangers in our environments. And that's a good thing, right.

So here's how this works just so you kind of know how your brain is functioning. So our brain perceives a threat or danger, and then we're going to sense that through our senses, seeing hearing, smelling, or through cognitive processes, like thoughts and memories, and then that's going to activate the amygdala.

Now stay with me, this is a little scientific, you have to remember, I'm a physician. So this is of course, how my brain tends to think, and I think it's good for us to understand what's going on at baseline.

And that's how we can really work with it and take action to counteract some of these things that are not helpful.

So the amygdala in our brain really processes fear and emotional responses. And so when we perceive a threat, the amygdala is going to send signals to the hypothalamus, the brainstem, other parts of the brain, and you're gonna get a release of stress hormones in response to this signal that the amygdala is sending out.

And when we get the release of stress hormones, like adrenaline, cortisol, this really gets our body into the fight or flight mode. And so that's when you're going to feel the anxiety, right? So this of course, is going to get our heart rate going, have us feeling more alert, maybe increasing your breathing, increase blood flow to muscles, and the design of this is to help us react quickly to any perceived threat.

So of course then in response to the fear, our brain is going to trigger a behavioral response. So that would be fleeing from the threat, fighting to protect ourselves, and then of course these fearful experiences are going to be etched into our memory so that we can use it for future similar situations.

And over time, we learned to associate certain cues or situations with fear. And these really show up in today's world as triggers. Back in the day this was very useful, of course, when you're out in the forest scavenging and you gotta run from a wild animal, right.

But as much as the safety mechanism is so crucial for our survival, in the contemporary world, in today's life, this can become problematic because what we end up doing is we've got certain stories in our minds, we've got our childhood memories, which shaped us, and then we've got certain triggers that can trigger us into stress and anxiety. And if we don't know that this is happening, it puts us down rabbit holes, it stresses us out more, it makes us scared when maybe we don't need to be.

So fears can come in all shapes and sizes. Now smaller fears. I had a client one time she was telling me how she was brave and she faced her fear of going to Costco on a weekend with two small kids all by herself. And that was a great feat, right? Because, I'm not a big Costco person, I actually avoid grocery stores like the plague, I'd rather get my groceries delivered or pick them up. I don't love taking my kids to the grocery store because that also ends up requiring a lot of no, we can't get that no, we can't get this. And then of course, I have my own fear that I have to fight the fight of you can't have this and maybe a tantrum, maybe not. So that's an example of a small fear, right, that I'm sure you have faced.

Another example of a smaller fear might be flying with your kids alone, I know that I was so afraid to fly with my children by myself, not because it was actually scary. But having anxiety about the moments of collapsing the stroller right before you get on the plane for plane side check in and not having an extra set of hands. And at that time, I remember my baby wasn't walking yet. So just the idea of I had to put her in the carrier while I did this so that she wasn't crawling around on the floor. So it was a minor logistical nightmare. But these are the kinds of fears that we have, and then we face them and everything is okay. So these are kind of smaller fears.

Now, larger fears are, you know, fear of leaving a job, fear of leaving a partner, or a spouse, or a marriage, or moving cities. And these fears are bigger ones and not facing these fears, the big and the small, can really keep us stuck. And on the other side of facing our fears is truly greatness, because the status quo is so much easier to just do even if you're unhappy. Or even if you're miserable, or you just feel like this is not the life you wanted for yourself. That's where the unhappiness and the crappiness of life lies. When we're just kind of hanging in there in the status quo.

But when we start to do the scary thing, that is when life becomes so, so wonderful. And the courage is there in each and every one of us. And we do have the power to change, to make moves. Even if you don't believe it, it is there, it's inside of you. And this is really the work we do inside my program overcome burnout for good, really facing our fears, and fearing forward is one of the components in my five pillar process inside the program.

And I want to give you a small story about myself actually and be vulnerable here. I noticed recently, I became aware that I had had a fear of being overweight for much of my life because I was overweight, probably starting at the age of 10. And then in middle school, I went on a diet and I exercised and I pretty much maintained a healthy body weight. But my body weight was kind of up and down throughout high school and even college.

And it really wasn't until I think I hit residency in my mid 20s, where I really just started having a healthier attitude towards exercise and eating right. And I didn't have to be afraid of being overweight, because that had not happened for, at this point, 20 years.

But what's so interesting is we have these patterns ingrained in our minds, right? And they're so deep that we end up having irrational fears of things because we're just conditioned to believe certain things about ourselves. So for me, there's this inner overweight child inside. And I get to say, hey, that may have been a problem in the past, but that's no longer an issue and I get to let it go. So I get to face that fear. And I face it head on and I get to ditch it because I'm aware of it.

So I hope that helps you just understand that you're not alone in your fears. And we're gonna talk about how to face them. So here we go. Here's the action you can take to ditch your, fears face your fears, like I'm talking about. So I want you to think of one or two instances in your life where you faced your fears head on and on the other side was goodness or freedom or peace. Really, I would pause this and take some time to write it down or brainstorm a time when facing your fears really led to something beautiful.

Once you do that, really use that example as fuel to keep facing your fears, to keep making the scary decisions. Because this is really the currency to a happy, joyous, peaceful life. Facing our fears. Because most people want to run away from them because of course, right that keeps us safe, the status quo, but it is really through shaking things up that we can learn to have a way more fulfilling life. I want you to also identify and acknowledge your fears.

So really start by recognizing and naming the specific fear or fears that are holding you back, that are getting in your way, what are you afraid of? What are you afraid of stepping into? What are you afraid of leaving in a certain big scary decision? And know that you can be afraid and take action anyway, it does not have to paralyze you. And if you're facing a larger fear with a larger decision, and you really feel overwhelmed, simply break it down into smaller, more manageable steps. And this can really make the process less scary.

I know a lot of times, we tend to plan ahead, plan for the six months or year ahead. And not only is it overwhelming, but a lot of times things can just really change and our plans just go awry anyway. So it's really better when you're stressed, or you have something major going on, to take one baby step at a time.

And I have this client who was going through a very tough time. And she was in an abusive marriage with mental and physical abuse. And the idea of leaving her spouse was so daunting to her because the status quo was just changing. And in a way, it was easier, though living like that was really unbearable for her.

So instead of having a long term plan, because she could not fathom, she couldn't think of it, she just took one step of deciding she was going to move out. And that was it. There was no more thought after that. The first step was to move out. And that, of course, is a huge step. But it was just one step. And she didn't have to think about the future.

And that's how she was able to do it much more easily. Because she didn't go down the rabbit hole of what am I doing, is my marriage breaking up, or any of that. She literally just decided, okay, I'm going to keep myself safe and I'm moving out. So think about that as your example for just one baby step in a very seemingly insurmountable situation or decision.

So one baby step at a time, you take those, and eventually you get to where you need to go. Also, if you need support, seek help from friends, or a therapist, or a coach in having your accountability and really moving you forward. And when you're having negative thoughts really challenge and reframe those negative thoughts and beliefs, the ones that are not helping you, and figure out how you can really start to cultivate more powerful thoughts that will give you fuel to move forward.

So one of my favorite thoughts and mantras that I came up with, or maybe it was Bonnie Koo, who came up with it when I was working with her, was I can do this. And this has been such a powerful mantra of my life. And it really helps me to face my fears, to do the scary things, and really to live a life so much greater than I ever thought I would.

And then of course, the next step is to develop a plan and create a plan for how you're going to face your fear or make your decision, and have a step by step structured approach. And that's really going to make you feel empowered, like you have your sense of control. And know that you can always change your mind.

And knowing that we can always change our minds is really helpful in decreasing the scariness of making changes. And if you're feeling like a plan is too much, and you really don't want to make this long plan. It's intimidating, it's overwhelming, then do what I said earlier and really just take one small step. And of course, once you make your decision, taking action with a small step is really going to get you over that fear and to where you want to go.

And use that fear as a catalyst. Tony Robbins teaches that fear can be a powerful catalyst for personal growth and transformation. So instead of avoiding fear, he suggests that we embrace it and use it as a tool for positive change. And then we get to redefine fear. So instead of seeing it as a negative thing, we can actually see it as a call to action and an opportunity for growth. So really reframing how we see things can help us to cultivate so much more peace of mind instead of spinning in confusion and feeling unhappy and miserable.

And as you face your fears. Remember to practice self compassion, really be kind and understanding to yourself because it really is normal to feel fear. I talked about basically our fight or flight response and how our brain is conditioned, right? So it's completely natural to feel fear and setbacks can happen. So really be kind to yourself and as compassionate to yourself as you would your own children or your friend. And remember, facing your fears takes so much strength and courage and it's okay to feel afraid. It's completely natural and normal.

The key is to not let your fear paralyze you, but instead use it as a motivator for growth, transformation, and positive change. And over time, as you practice, and you learn to face your fears, and have confidence, to make those tough decisions, you're going to build that resilience that is going to serve you so so well as you keep growing and changing.

And to really dive deep into this work, to have a streamlined process, to be more present at home even if you're working crazy hours to ditch the mom guilt, finally unplug, and and exhaustion and burnout forever in 90 days or less. And I say 90 days or less because we are high achievers and we want to get shit done.

And these processes are going to work faster than what you've tried, than the therapy, self help books, or yoga. Book a call with me to get started PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. On the call, you're going to find clarity for what's going on, what's getting in your way, and we will craft a roadmap to be rid of burnout for good. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode 67: How Work-Life Balance Can Be Achieved By Finding Your Voice

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses the very prevalent issue of how to find your voice. Dr. Naik invites you to learn about how you can change what your life looks like by standing up and advocating for yourself. Tune in for more on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

How to Unlock Your Inner Power: Discover how to find your voice, speak up, and overcome barriers that often hold women back from achieving their goals and asserting themselves both at work and at home.
Confidence-Building Strategies: Gain valuable insights into building self-confidence, celebrating your achievements, and ditching self-doubt to become a more empowered and self-assured individual.
Effective Communication Skills: Learn practical tips for clear and concise communication, navigating tough conversations with ease, and setting boundaries that align with your values and goals.
Career Advancement: Explore the importance of salary negotiation, risk-taking, and advocating for yourself to accelerate your career growth and maximize your income potential.

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

Apply to work witih Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call to end burnout for good.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 67. Hello, welcome. Thank you so much for tuning in today. It is fall, school has probably started for you if you're listening currently and the weather's getting a little bit chillier in the northeast, but that is time for pumpkin fun and Halloween.

My kids and I have actually been celebrating Halloween since last week, I bought a bunch of stuff from Target and the dollar store. The Dollar Store is the best for seasonal stuff. Don't know if you know that but that's my little tip for you today. And we've been doing Halloween treats and getting all excited with the Halloween PJs and celebrating. And I know we talked a little bit about there's no such thing as too much celebration on last week's episode.

And this week, we are going to talk about finding your voice and actually one of my clients Nivi who is a nephrologist, a kidney doctor, a mom of two young children. When she came to me she really felt like she was unheard and she felt small. And actually it's funny because she is probably I would guess five two or five three, and she found herself also small as in unheard at work.

But through the work that we did together, she really empowered herself to speak up for what she wanted, find her voice and actually get what she wanted at work in terms of her schedule, with reduced hours and less hospital medicine, as well as finding her voice to communicate better with her spouse.

So if you too want to find your voice, ditch the mom guilt, be present at home for the most important moments, check out my free masterclass on four steps to overcome burnout and overwhelm, the link will be in the show notes.

Today I'm talking about finding your voice because women often find it difficult to speak up for themselves. And really this has to do with a bunch of different factors, one of which is the competence gap, which is really a phenomenon where women's doubt their skills, they lack self confidence and men tend to be actually overly competent, we have the opposite problem. And this shows up as saying yes all the time or not advocating for ourselves, being afraid to ask for what we want.

When you find your voice, you'll be more confident. And this really builds on itself and increases your confidence as time goes on. Because you're not going to get what you want without asking for it. And this goes for work or at home too, or with friends. And we often have to ask for what we need or for help when we need it. And that's totally okay. So learning to speak up for what you want is going to allow you to learn how to negotiate and get the life that you want.

So let's get into some more factors that affect women not finding their voices. I want to shed light on these so that you really start to become aware of what's happening to you. And then once you're aware you're not going to feed into these patterns or thoughts, specifically the ones that are not serving you. So often, women have a tough time finding their voice because they're afraid of what people think. And we are often high achieving moms with demanding careers. We are people pleasers. We want people to like us.

A couple examples of this. My client Sarah, who is an OBGYN, and a mother of three small children, she was afraid to speak up for herself at work and really advocate for the schedule that she wanted. She wanted to drop down from five days to four days, but she was really afraid of what her colleagues might think, were they going to think she's a slacker. Through our work together and empowering herself to find her voice and really speak up for herself, advocate for herself, she was able to get exactly what she wanted in terms of her work schedule. That was awesome.

Now, this actually also came up for me even though I've been doing this work for a while. Recently, I was on a group trip with many dear friends and a couple of topics kept coming up that were really uncomfortable for me and triggering for me. And I hesitated to say anything because I have this perception of myself. And I really think I probably come across this way, I speak my mind. I'm opinionated. I usually am not afraid to speak up. But actually there is a part of me that is afraid that people will think I'm being standoffish or adversarial. And I actually do have a little bit of trouble with confrontation. But I think most people who know me would be surprised by that.

And a lot of times, on a little bit of a side note, people who have it together or they manage themselves really well, I think others won't realize what you might be struggling with unless you actually find your voice and speak up about it. So when these uncomfortable topics were coming up, they came up one night, and I didn't really say anything. And then again, similar triggering content was coming up.

And I actually had a moment where I spoke up and I said hey guys, this is really triggering for me, if you don't mind, if we don't go down this path again, with this conversation. I'm doing really well and I've done a lot of work on myself, but I really would like to have fun and can we not go down the road of these topics again, and everyone just kind of kept quiet and we switched the subject and it's funny because the following day, I felt like oh, maybe I shouldn't have said anything and I said to one of my friends, I said oh I think it was bad when I said that and she said, no, you advocate for yourself and nobody's going to know if you don't say anything. And I felt so much better when she said that.

So this is just an example of how we have a tendency to worry about what other people think and maybe we have skewed views of ourselves. And so my point is, you don't need my permission, but I give you permission and give yourself permission to speak up and advocate for yourself. Another barrier to finding our voices is self perception. And I'm gonna talk about the barriers and then I'm gonna give you actionable tips as well, just trying to build your understanding of what's going on here with this finding voice issue that we have as women.

So according to a Hewlett Packard internal report, men apply for a job or promotion when they meet only 60% of the qualifications, while women will only apply to a job if they meet 100% of the qualifications. So this shows us that women often underestimate their qualifications compared to men. So our perception of ourselves, we downplay things, and this really makes us feel smaller than we are. So the solution here is to really be aware of this and careful about your self talk or downplaying your own achievements in your head.

A lot of us have been raised to be humble, and not to brag, which is good, but if you're proud of yourself, that's okay. That's a wonderful foundation to be confident in your life, in your relationships, and at work. Imposter syndrome is another reason that women have trouble finding their voice. And really, if you don't know what impostor syndrome is, it's characterized by self doubt, the fear of being exposed as a fraud in spite of being competent. And again, women experience this more commonly than men.

And studies have shown that women are more likely to attribute their success to external factors and luck, rather than their own abilities. So we really tend to underestimate ourselves, and then we stay quiet and small. But the solution here is to really acknowledge that this is going on, and separate fact from our feelings and fiction and really become aware of the stories that you're telling yourself. Also, do not compare and despair. Don't be comparing yourself to other people who are in your field and thinking, okay, why can't I have what they have, it's not helpful. So drop that too. And furthermore, celebrate whatever achievements that you have. So when you have something that goes well at work, you want to really take a minute to have gratitude for it and celebrate everything you've achieved.

Now, another area that women have a tough time speaking up for themselves is salary negotiation, women are really less likely to negotiate their salaries compared to men. And this can result in lower initial salaries, slower salary growth over time, and really messing up income potential. So remember, really try and build that confidence, work on seeing what you're doing well, and then finding your voice to negotiate that salary. Because honestly, you don't have a whole lot to lose. When you ask for more, maybe you won't get it. But if you don't ask, you'll never know.

And another cause of not being able to find our voices is risk aversion, because women are often perceived as more risk averse than men. And this may lead to avoiding taking on challenges or kind of stepping outside of our comfort zones and advocating for things or new opportunities that could really accelerate our career growth.

So here are some strategies to find your voice. So finding your voice really entails having self compassion, kindness, and that really helps you to build resilience and feel more confident. And really, instead of the golden rule of treat others as you would want to treat yourself, I'm going to tell you do that. But also do the opposite. Treat yourself as you would treat others because often I bet you would sit there and encourage a friend to ask for that promotion, to advocate for herself in any given situation, or communicate with her husband. And then when it comes to you, you're not going to be as kind to yourself or as encouraging towards yourself or supporting yourself right.

Also ditching people pleasing and external validation. So not worrying so much about what other people think and really being true to ourselves helps us to build the confidence to get what we want, regardless of what other people might think. And the thing about other people and what they think, yeah, people gossip. Yeah, they might judge you. But really, everybody's really busy wrapped up in their own lives.

So maybe a five minute conversation about you and then they move on. So in the scheme of things, does it make sense to try and control those five minute conversations that other people have about us, maybe negatively? It makes no sense to put a lot of energy into that because in the end, it doesn't matter. And in the scheme of things, the larger picture, going after what we want is so much more important because people really don't know what our lives are like on the inside of our heads or in our shoes. Practicing boundaries is another important way to find your voice.

So the power of no, learning to say no, really practicing setting clear boundaries, declining to participate in commitments that don't really align with your goals or values. This really helps you to speak up for yourself and also be really picky about how you're spending your time and how you're spending your energy. And of course, therefore, you're gonna feel less exhausted, less burnt out and more happy. Also learning to communicate these boundaries, when necessary. Being able to talk to someone senior, being assertive about what your limits are, that's really important for your own personal confidence, respect, and professional growth. So the more you practice, practice may not make perfect, but you're gonna get better and better at finding your voice.

Building self confidence, as I've kind of mentioned already is so critical in finding your voice. So really reflect on everything you've achieved. In fact, I would, after this episode is over, take a moment to really write all the stuff down that you've achieved in your life and make a list of your achievements. Keep it somewhere, maybe a list on your phone, that way you can go back to it and really see how capable you are and use your positive achievements and everything you've accomplished up until now, use that to really fuel you as you continue to progress in your life, in your career. So speaking up effectively, how do you do that? Right?

Really part of this is having clarity. So being clear and concise. So when expressing yourself, really using basic language, don't over explain yourself. And this is really an epidemic, depending on how you've been raised, I know I have a major tendency to over explain myself and I will start typing out a text and then I'm explaining and I ended up deleting a lot of it. So it's taken a lot of practice, but not over explaining is critical in clear communication, and even helps us to speak up.

Organizing your thoughts too, really outlining key points that you might want to talk about, or things you want to convey to ensure that your message is being understood. Also a part of finding our voice is getting better at navigating tough conversations. So really getting ourselves into a calm state of mind. And I focus on my breath when I need to center myself to keep myself from, let's say feeling a really strong emotion when it's not useful. And calming ourselves and finding this balance can really help de-escelate a tense situation. And we're able to express ourselves, and expressing our thoughts and feelings, really using I statements so that we're not accusing anyone of anything.

And when it comes to addressing touchy subjects at work, really focus on the issue and not the person and do your best to not make it personal. No avoiding, that is very helpful, and proposing solutions. Being proactive in conflict resolution and solutions is really helpful and helps us to grow and move up in the workplace and in life in general. And when we're solution oriented, and we don't complain, and we don't focus on what's not going well, we find ourselves happier. So finding your voice and really learning to effectively communicate. These are skills that can be developed. You don't have to have them right off the bat. And they can improve over time.

By understanding why women tend to have a tough time with finding their voices and being aware of the stories that we're telling ourselves, and then also using the strategies that I talked about today we can learn to speak up effectively and really navigate challenging conversations, address conflicts professionally and personally while really maintaining our own integrity.

Try one or more of the strategies that I talked about today and really see how you start creating the life that you want for yourself. And if you want to learn more, to get more individualized help book a call with me. PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me to get started on being more present home, even if you're working long hours, ditch that mom guilt, unplug, end exhaustion and burnout for good in 90 days or less. Thank you so much for tuning in today and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode 66: How To Be Happy As A Working Mom

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about cultivating inner peace and living a more meaningful life. Dr. Naik invites you to learn about living life as if you were given a second chance and finding happiness in the ordinary things. Tune in for more on this topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

How to live a life with more regrets
How to find fulfillment
Practical tips to get the most out of your life

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 66. Welcome. I'm so happy to have you here today. Thank you so much for tuning in, thinking and assuming that you're back in the rhythm, school has started, and the kiddos are back to school.

I wanted to mention one of my clients, Diana, who is a physician and mother of two small kids, she was telling me how really before coaching with me, she was struggling with feeling like she didn't have enough time, how to balance everything, she felt so much mom guilt. And after coaching with me and going through my program, she really was able to show up as her best self and ditch the mom guilt and truly be present at home with her kids.

And she was actually saying if you feel like you're drowning and want to enjoy your life again, I would recommend Prianca, which is so sweet of her. So this is the work that we're doing inside my life coaching program overcome burnout for good in 90 days or less. As a physician and having my masters in neuroscience, I've really created easy, implementable tools, including my three N methods and other processes that really help cultivate peace of mind, balance mindfulness without a ton of time.

And to learn more about the work I do inside my program join my free on demand masterclass four steps to overcoming burnout, overwhelm, and truly getting your peace of mind back, the link will be in the show notes.

Today, I want to talk about really shifting your mindset for a happier, more enriched life. And I did actually talk about perspective shifts in Episode 44, about what your 80 year old self would think about something and putting on that lens, really transposing that lens to the current moment. And that allows us to not take insignificant things too seriously. So definitely listen to that episode, Episode 44 first, if you have not, before you listen to this one.

Because this episode today, I'm going to expand on this concept. We're going to talk about having a second chance at life without though having a near death experience. So there are people who have beat cancer, or they do have near death experiences, and they come back, they face their life really living differently, probably better. So what if we could do the same without having to die? That sounds pretty good, right?

So before I get into the exercise, and really the couple of ways you can look at this and how to approach it, I want to talk about a Anita Moorjani's book Dying To Be Me. And I read this a few years ago, and it's really a memoir that talks about her journey from being on the verge of death to a miraculous recovery.

She had been diagnosed with stage four cancer, and at that time, when she had this cancer, she was living a life really for others, out of alignment with who she was, who she wanted to be. And this near death experience, also abbreviated NDE really changed her sense of her life and healing and it transformed her, she felt a sense of interconnectedness. And she talks about how she made an active choice to not die and to return to life.

Now, of course, this story is going to challenge conventional beliefs about illness and recovery. And some people might think it's woowoo. Regardless, I think it's just important to see that she had this message of coming back from NDE to embrace a newfound lease on life.

And I actually am getting chills as I talk about this because I think this work is so powerful. And her memoir really offers us an example of life's challenges and how they can be a true catalyst for change and a deeper connection to who we really are and connecting to who you are.

And if you don't know what that is, the work that we do inside my program, we really dive deeply into that. But if you don't have a sense of yourself, right, then you're kind of living all over the place. And when we do that, we're out of integrity.

Once we can truly get to know ourselves, our values, and how we want to live, and we can live in alignment with that, then we can be at peace and have the balance and end the burnout that really ails so many women.

And I'm sure you can relate with this. So let's talk about how we can really cultivate inner peace and live a more meaningful life. So that is through today's topic, which is what if you had a second chance at life? How would you do things? We're going to really look at this concept in two different ways.

So way number one, so this is really when you have a new beginning. For example, let's say you have a new job or a new relationship or you're moving to a new city. So when you have a new beginning, really ask yourself, what did you learn from your past recent journey, your past job, your past relationship, the way you lived in your past town? And what was good, what worked? What didn't work? And how do you want to improve? And how can you use what you've learned for a better now and a better future?

So let's say you're leaving a job for another one, don't underestimate the significance of these kinds of changes, because you might really have some grief for the loss of a certain job. It's its own death, right? So that's why I bring it up in this episode, how can you take the death of that job, and then have a rebirth with a new job? So how would you show up? Ask yourself that question. And when you can answer that, you take the answer, and you put that answer into action. And that's really how you're going to change your life experience for the better of course.

Similarly, if you're ending a relationship, or you've had a divorce, you're in a divorce, what did you learn? How did you get there? How did you end up there in the end? And what was your role? And knowing all this, once you reflect on this, and take some time to do this, because I'm just kind of rattling these off, but the text will be in the show notes. So you can look at that for further guidance. How can you approach the present and the future differently in the context of all of this?

So actually, in life we do get the chance to be reborn. And that's a little dramatic, right, being reborn. But basically, what I'm saying is we get a fresh start all the time, and maybe you're not realizing it. So I'm just trying to increase awareness for you, become aware of when you get a fresh start, and it can be as simple as okay, September's the new school year, I get a fresh start in this.

Often for me, when the year is ending, I do a lot of reflection exercises and goals for the following year. But that's a reset. And then I do another reset, let's say in the summer, I give myself a fresh start when the summer's starting. And then again, when the school year's starting, I might do like a reset, a rebirth, et cetera. And it really helps us to keep ourselves active in living our lives, and really taking an active role in how we want to live our lives, what we want for our lives instead of letting life live us.

And it's when we let life live us that we get drained, we feel exhausted, we feel unhappy when we're not doing what our heart desires, what we really want to be doing. And the concept that we can't is really something that we've been taught. And it's really not the case. And I did talk about dreams in a different episode. So creating the life of your dreams, check that out. It's a past episode, if you haven't, and that talks much more about this.

But basically, we get to take control of our lives by refreshing ourselves whenever we want. And we can take a new lease on life. A refreshed, rejuvenated a second chance at life at any given moment. You can decide today in fact, you don't need at the end of the year or the times that I've just mentioned, you can create your own rebirth, your own, I'm coming back, I'm reliving my life, I get a second chance at life in this moment, you could do it right now. So that's way number one of the second chance.

Now the way to look at this number two of the second chance is imagine that you are on your deathbed, okay? And someone, let's say an angel, whatever your religious preferences or beliefs are, you can just insert whomever. It could be a loved one who's passed, just someone, comes and tells you that you're not going to die in this moment and you actually get to go back. Beautiful, right?

I mean, I'm sure so many people would love that. So instead of us being on our deathbed, wishing we had more time, let's try and create a life where when we die, we can say I lived a beautiful life, and I'm ready to pass. How beautiful is that? That's so rare, right? But we can create that. So given that you have this second chance at life, how are you going to show up throughout your day, now I'm talking about moment to moment, hour by hour, because now you realize that your time is limited.

And often we behave as though we're not going to die. In my medical practice, I treat a lot of patients at the ends of their lives, and I have seen that family members often behave as though their family is never supposed to die and that it's natural to live forever, though we know it's a fact that we are all going to die. So with this fact, if we face this fact, which is not an easy fact to face, but it's true, then how would you show up moment to moment.

And this is different for everyone. So I'm going to give you a couple examples of how this shows up for me. And then I will give you some practical tips in case you're feeling lost on ideas of how to do this. Alright, so for me, I practice a lot of mindfulness and I tend to be in the present moment because I've practiced years and years of meditation and I take what I've learned from years of sitting meditating and I apply that to my life, which is a lot of what I teach in my program without the meditation, but I'm able to soak in the moments.

And also when I was young, many astrologers in India, this is definitely a cultural thing, had told my mother that she was going to die in a bad accident at 40. And my family shared this information with me when I was young, which I don't know if they should have, but they did. And so I actually grew up thinking that I was not going to have my mom forever. And that translated to me, even as a teenager, every single conversation with my parents, I would always say, I love you, bye, I love you bye.

And I would always kind of think this could be the last time I see them. So that's my background. And I do tend to live life as though I'm not living forever, or the people that I love are not living forever. So that's sort of how that has shown up in my life till today. Now, today, with my children, and my parents, I really try it to savor the ordinary moments, because with my parents, I know they're getting older, right.

So spending time with them is really critical, because that's not going to last forever. And I acknowledge that. So I will visit them at their home, my dad likes to do a bonfire and do s'mores, and we put on music and we dance and we laugh and we go out to eat. And these are all really ordinary things. But they're actually really extraordinary. At the same time, they're really special. And I try to soak in those moments, because I know they're not going to last forever. And I know that someday all I will have are memories of my parents.

And similarly with my children. They're really young and super precious. And it's sort of the reverse issue that these moments with my children, when they're babies, that's not going to last forever, they're going to turn into adults. So I really try and soak in all of the ordinary moments with them, right. And of course, there are also tough moments that are filled with tantrums because that goes with the age.

So during the happy times, the dancing, the coloring, the shopping at Target, going out to eat, hanging out with them, driving with them, when they're singing in the car or talking I am just in awe of their cuteness, the things they say and the rate at which they're learning new things. It's insane. It's incredible. And this actually brings me to tears a lot. I feel what I feel, what can I say. So I really just am able to be present and enjoy them.

Enjoy the good times, and just the normal moments, which are just so so so so so precious. And I have tremendous gratitude for them too. And that's how I feel, you don't necessarily have to feel that way. But personally, I wanted to be a mother when I was six years old. So for me, my children are the greatest gift that life could have given me and they themselves surpass whatever expectations I had of what my children would be.

So I practice gratitude for them on a very regular basis, probably a few times a week, I am so grateful for them. And actually, I will tell them too. Especially my five year old who understands a little bit more than my two year old might understand, I will literally tell him how grateful I am for him. And I want them to know that, I think that's important.

Conversely, though, I never realized that being a mother meant being woken up multiple times a night for a bad dream or being afraid of the dark. But that is also part of being a mom. And that part is not really fun, right. But with this perspective, I know that just like the cute stuff, and the cute young, adorable time will pass quickly, the negative phases will also pass quickly.

So I get to not give the difficult times a ton of attention. And I can sort of let them go and instead focus on the good. And that's my choice. And what that ends up doing for me is it creates a more positive life experience during which I feel more fulfilled and more gratified. This is all a choice, just like it is for you, you have a choice too.

So if you're feeling a little lost on how to really get that second chance at life, here are some things that you can do to really enhance your life experience. So one thing is practicing gratitude and practicing mindfulness. Gratitude practice is really easy to do, you don't have to journal and I actually have an episode on gratitude practice earlier in this podcast, so check that out. But basically, you can just recite to yourself five things you're grateful for every morning when you're showering.

Mindfulness also, simply saying to yourself, there is a body and focusing on your breath can really help you to just be present in any given moment. Forgiving yourself and others is another great way to approach this second chance at life because really forgiving yourself helps you cultivate inner peace and make peace with your past because none of us is perfect and we do make mistakes.

So we get to have compassion for ourselves and really cultivate inner peace by doing that. And in terms of forgiving others really forgiving others is more about us than it is about them. And by forgiving others, we get to let go of any negative energy, negative emotions that we're hanging on to. And that really is liberating. And along with that really letting go of stuff that does not matter. So if something is trivial, if it doesn't matter in the long run, if it's not a do or die issue, which most issues are not, then really being able to let go.

The next tip is to embrace what is going well and put on those rose colored glasses for ourselves. Because we really have a choice on how we see things. And if we can even see our challenges as serving us or testing us, or what are we learning from this, it's so much better than having a victim mentality, because that is much more depressing and sad.

So we can embrace what is happening, and also what we are doing well, because we don't give ourselves enough credit for all the good things that we're doing. And I'm sure you're doing a ton of them. So give yourself a pat on the back. And again, it is great to have other people validate what you're doing. But that really gives our power away. So we get to reclaim our power by validating ourselves and supporting ourselves. And the more we can do that, the more inner strength, resilience, and peace we're going to build.

The next thing you can do is literally figure out what you want out of this life and go after it yesterday. Okay, because time is so short. Somebody was telling me that they wanted to go into politics, and I said to this person, well, then you just need to do it right this minute. Right this moment, get going on it because time is of the essence. And you might as well just do it, don't prolong things that you really want to do.

Another important way to approach our second chance at life is really connecting with those you care about that can be however you see fit via phone call, via FaceTime, an email, seeing them, maybe another way to do this is to write thank you notes. First start with yourself, practice gratitude to yourself and all the wonderful things you're doing. And then thank you notes to other people in your life.

It's funny that I'm doing this episode because I literally wrote a bunch of notes to people last week, a bunch of my friends whom I care about, I wrote them notes the other day and mailed them out. But it really is beautiful to let those people that you know have had an impact on your life or that you care about or care about you that you appreciate them. That way if you die tomorrow, you did make your peace with them. Or if they die tomorrow, you have your sense of okay, I did let them know that I love them.

Another way to approach coming back, having a second chance at life, really ask yourself how would you prioritize your work versus your home life if you got that second chance? What would you change? And this is a critical question because a lot of us are living on autopilot and really don't take the time to think about these things. But taking the time to reflect upon these issues is so important in getting the most out of this beautiful life.

If you had a second chance, what would you do in terms of your physical and mental health? Would you take better care of it? And how? Would you travel more? And if you would, then you need to start booking those flights. Get going, see everything you want to see. Travel more often. And I know people make up a lot of excuses, I can't, but the truth is you actually can.

You get to create what you want for yourself, whatever that means. And the last way to really make the most of the second chance is to celebrate everything. You get to celebrate everything you want. Whatever you want in this life, whatever you think is a time to celebrate. Let's do it. So for me, this shows up as celebrating the first day of school with my son, we got a cake, we lit candles, I FaceTimed a bunch of relatives and we did a little party.

We sang, we danced, my son was running around the house, he was so happy. It was wonderful, what a great memory. And now, it's only September but I got a bunch of Halloween stuff and we're celebrating Halloween for the next six weeks and that's really fun. So whatever it is that you want to celebrate, you get to celebrate yourself, celebrate life, enjoy, and there's really no such thing as enjoying yourself or celebrating too much, meaning within the realm of healthy choices.

So obviously over drinking and doing that isn't okay but you're able to celebrate, right, you can celebrate in a healthy manner and really, really soak it all in. So today I challenge you to create your second chance at life for yourself. Your redo, whatever that means for you. Soaking in the good, letting go of the bad, forgiving yourself, forgiving others, connecting more with those you love, or anything else that you would ever want to do if you had a do-over.

Get to it ASAP because there really is no time to waste. And to really make the most of this precious life, to be more present at home even if you work long hours, to ditch the mom guilt, to finally unplug, to end exhaustion and end burnout for good in 90 days or less, learn my streamlined processes to really heal from the inside out. Book a call and apply to work with me to get started PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode 65: Mastering Time Management For Career-Driven Moms

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses the important issue of time management for high-power working moms. Dr. Naik invites you to learn about how you can get hours back each week and make the most of the time that you have. Tune in for more on this topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

How time is flexible
To set boundaries so you get several hours back weekly
To preserve your energy and get time back
How you have more time than you think

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the Empowering Working Moms podcast, episode number 65. Hello there listeners, I am so glad that you are tuning in today. Welcome, welcome. If you are a faithful old listener, not old, but you've been listening, I'm so grateful to have you here. And if you're new, thank you for listening to the empowering working moms podcast today.

And I'm going to talk about time management, which is such an important issue, right, because for us high power working moms, we just don't ever have enough time or that's just how we feel. And it's just tough to fit it all in. And many of my clients actually after working with me, they get time back every week, hours and hours. And they find the confidence that they need to create the work schedule that they want to create, or even change the type of work that they want to do to truly give themselves hours back each week.

And a lot of this comes from living in alignment with the kind of life that they want to live, which is actually part of the first module of my coaching program overcome burnout for good. And if you really want to learn more about the work we do here, check out my free masterclass on four steps to overcome burnout and overwhelm, the link will be in the show notes.

I'm going to start this episode out by discussing the actual amount of time that people have on average. So we're gonna do a little math here. So we know that there are 24 hours a day, seven days in the week. So 24 times seven equals 168 hours, every single week. So if you're working roughly 40 hours a week, there may be people who work more, this is just average, you're sleeping, let's say an average of eight hours a night, you're probably sleeping less than that. But let's just say that.

So you've got 40 hours of work a week, and then 56 hours of sleeping. If you do the math and you subtract 56 plus 40. Take that math, subtract it from 168, you're gonna have 62 hours left outside of work and outside of sleep. Now that is a lot of free time, 62 hours every single week, that's a lot. And time actually really will stretch and accommodate what we put into it.

And I learned this concept when I read Laura Vanderkams book, What Successful People Do Before Breakfast, and she gave an example of how one of her clients water heaters broke, and she needed an extra, I believe it was 12 to 15 hours back that week. And somehow she was able to create that time to be home while her water heater got fixed. So really realize the time is a lot more flexible than we think.

And a lot of times when we set goals or an emergency happens, we do get something done in less time than we think. The reverse is also true where we think we're gonna get done a lot more in a given day. But there is the concept that you can get done a lot more in like a longer span of time, like let's say a year, you can achieve so much more than you think. But then on a day to day basis, you may overestimate. So overestimating the short term time amount and under estimating the longer term time where you can actually achieve much larger goals.

So to really understand time and managing it better, we have to shift our perspective, shift how we see time. So as I mentioned, the idea that time can bend to accommodate our needs is really something that has gained attention in science and philosophy, science fiction writers. And while we don't really have the capability to manipulate time, like time travel in stories, there are some aspects of our perception that can really create a sense of flexibility with our time.

And flexibility is so key because really feeling that flexibility, it makes us feel we have a sense of freedom. And there's nothing better than feeling free and not tethered down or boxed in by your time. So our perception of time can really vary so much depending on how we're feeling, what we're doing, for example, the saying time flies when you're having fun, right? So when we're doing something really fun, time can go so fast. But if we're bored, or we're waiting for something, and we're doing something not fun, time can feel like it's dragging on forever.

So this aspect of understanding how our mindset and frame of mind changes our perception of time or our experience, really, we can, to a certain extent control how we experience time, we really embrace something and we're enjoying it, it's gonna go by faster as opposed to when we're not having fun. Also, we can plan our days efficiently, prioritize tasks, try not to procrastinate, right, and then that creates a sense of gaining time in a day.

So multitasking, people think that that's the best way to get things done. But that also is when you have too many things on your mind, you actually will be less productive and you're going to do things more slowly and it'll take longer in the end. And certain activities will alter our perception of time. For example, if we're super stressed or you're having a life or death experience, which hopefully you're not, time can really slow down. And that way we can react more effectively.

And I remember when my father and I got into a horrible car accident when I was in middle school, there was a horrible storm and the van that we were in slid on black ice into this ravine that was really deep in between two highways, and the car tumbled twice. And luckily, we ended up upright, and we survived with really not even a scratch. But I remember at that time, the minute that the van slid, and it did its first turn into that ravine, it was so slow, it really slowed down time, because I must have gotten into a fight or flight mode, a near death experience, or at least what felt like it at the time.

So these examples really show how our perception and management of time can really bend time. So it's really important to remember that time itself is constant, right? And we can't really manipulate it, but it is flexible, and we can work with it and really optimize our experience to make the most of the time that we have.

And a lot of this is about energy management too, which I will get to in a minute. Energy management in the sense that there's a quote by Jim Rohn, that is, I've talked about in past episodes, so important, and I really tried to live by it, stand guard to the door of your mind, which means that you really need a sieve to your brain and input you allow in and how you manage your energy.

So we must also stand guard to the door of our time, and be really picky about how we allow ourselves to spend our time and not be doing things that we really don't want to do or don't line up with our values. So effective time management isn't really just about managing the clock, it's about managing your energy levels.

So not allowing yourself to get drained by people or situations if you really don't need to, let's say if you're tired, or you're not feeling well, do not at that moment pick up the call of a person who you know is going to talk your ear off for an hour. Or if it's the kind of person who really makes you feel depleted after talking to them, for example, you really have to be mindful about how you are spending your time and energy.

So in terms of time management tips, I'm going to talk about some indirect ways of managing your time. And then I'm going to discuss more concrete actionable tips that you probably haven't heard before. So in terms of managing time, indirectly, one way is to set boundaries, that's so critical, because setting boundaries really preserves our safety, our space, our time, our energy.

And along with that is the power of No. So that means not taking on extra projects, saying no to things that don't align with our values and our priorities, really being aware of our perhaps people pleasing tendencies and not giving into them, and also taking rests and breaks to improve our productivity and realizing that it's better to do certain things when we are feeling fresh.

For example, I have noticed that if I write patient notes, right when I'm seeing them or shortly after, I get them done so much more quickly. But if I write them later in the day, after my children are in bed, I'm so exhausted that it takes me probably triple to quadruple the time it would take during the day. So that right there would be poor management of time, so don't do that.

Also, another way of indirectly managing our time is seeing time as it aligns with our priorities. So really creating values and priorities, knowing what they are and choosing to spend our time in alignment with those. Also hanging out with people who energize us and really not hanging out with those who we find draining because the more drained we are, the more time we might waste because we're going to be exhausted. So once you begin to align your decisions with your priorities and values, you will see a ton of time is going to be freed up.

I'm going to shift now to discussing concrete actionable tips that you probably haven't heard before. And these tips will help you to reclaim your time, boost productivity, and really get a balance between your career and your home life. So grab a notepad because you're gonna want to remember these gems.

Tip number one is the one minute rule. So if a task takes less than a minute to complete, do it right away. Whether it's answering an email, paying a bill tidying up your workspace, tackling small tasks can really prevent them from piling up and really that will prevent feeling overwhelmed later. So any task that is quick. I find even tidying things up, I'll do part of the task and that takes me a minute and it's not so bad. Be it like bringing my laundry down without actually doing the laundry and later I might do it.

Number two is time blocking with a twist. So time blocking is pretty popular but let's add a twist to it. Instead of just scheduling work related tasks, specific blocks of time for self care, family time or personal growth, really treat these blocks with the same importance as you would your work task. And watch how it really changes your life. So you want to take your personal life and really take it seriously with following a schedule.

Now only do this if you find scheduling stuff on your phone and the calendar or on paper, if it brings you joy, do it. If you tend to get overwhelmed with scheduling stuff, then I would say skip this one. But this is for people who really thrive with creating order and more organization.

For me, I actually tend to put meetings, if I have a dinner with friends, or a trip or something, that's all on my calendar. But I don't really add a bunch of other stuff to my calendar because I personally find it stresses me out more than not.

Number three, a one touch rule for emails. So stop checking your email every few minutes. Instead, decide that you'll check it, let's say every hour or every two hours and then really do a one touch rule, meaning when you open an email, you're gonna take action, reply, delegate or delete. And this really will minimize your email clutter and make sure you're not constantly being interrupted with your email. So on your phone, you would also turn off the notifications for email. I know I do that.

Okay, so the next tip, tip number four is the power of 10 minute tasks. So of course, you're busy and finding long stretches of uninterrupted time between your career and your kids, maybe your spouse, 10 minute tasks can really help you be productive. So really, you can set a timer for 10 minutes and brainstorm ideas, make a phone, call organize a small part of your home, and you really get a lot done. This is also similar to Gretchen Rubin's, she calls it a one hour Power Hour.

So every week, she sets aside one hour to do nagging tasks. So all the stuff you dread and don't want to do, set aside one hour during the week and really block that out on your calendar, or not if you don't like the calendar aspect, and get things done, like your doctor's appointments, or all those other irritating tasks. And of course, if you're able to, if you have the financial freedom or you want to prioritize getting stuff off your plate, I would outsource these things and get somebody to do it for you.

Tip number five is the two minute mindfulness break. So really incorporating a two minute break in your day where you can literally focus on your body, focus on your breath, do a breathing exercise, and really the way you could do it is you could just sit there, if you can find a private space or like get a little time out for yourself.

Close your eyes, notice your body, take a few deep breaths, counting to seven or eight as you inhale, seven or eight as you exhale, and then focus on your breath, set a timer, do it for two minutes. And this will really reset you and destress you and can boost your productivity and mental well being, which then gives you more time as well.

Number six. So delegate creatively, you might really need to do everything yourself or you feel like you do. But delegating, as I said can really save you time. Reduce your workload, outsourcing tasks that don't bring you joy, whatever that is, be it meal prep, or house cleaning, or online research anything that's a joy thief for you, I would try and get somebody else to do it or pay somebody else.

Tip number eight, the No Challenge. So I talked a little bit about this earlier. But this is a concrete plan for you in really engaging in the power of No. So that means, so understand that when you say yes to something, you're saying no to something else. So if you say yes to whatever it is you're taking away time for yourself or time from something else. So understanding that your time is so so precious, and being really, really tight with how you spend it.

So you could try this exercise for a month and make a promise yourself to say no to non essential commitments. And anything that you really don't need to do or you really don't want to do is going to help you free up so much time and energy and let you focus on your top priorities. And you're not going to overload your schedule, and you're going to feel so much more free and happy and like you have so much more time.

Tip number nine is to literally try and track for one week how you're spending your time and 15 minute blocks. And this can be so so useful. I did this one time, and you will see where you're losing your time and where you could be more efficient or where you could maybe do like a two minute mindfulness break and stop scrolling your phone on social media, these kinds of things.

So I highly encourage you to sit there and make a chart for yourself. And notice what you're doing Sunday through Saturday in 15 minute increments and then you can reflect on where your time is going.

Which leads me to tip number 10 which is really a weekly reflection time so you can reflect on how you're spending your time and also really reflect on how you're feeling, how things are going, what you can celebrate, what you did well, what's not going well, what can be improved, how can you manage your time and energy better.

And this will really keep the time and energy management at the top of mind for you which is awesome, right? So the more you really become aware of how your spending your time the more you can take powerful action to reclaim it back and really be spending it in a way that's in integrity with how you want to live your life and once you start doing this I promise you're gonna find yourself having so much more peace of mind and being so much happier. So cheers to that.

If you have any questions feel free to contact me at Prianca at stresscleansemd.com with any questions. I'd be happy to talk you through any roadblocks are having. Or better yet book a call with me to really get started on this work and have a streamlined process to be more present at home, get hours back each week, even if you're working a lot.

Ditch the mom guilt, finally unplug, end exhaustion and burnout for good in 90 days or less. And the work that we do with coaching, it works so much faster than therapy, yoga, self help books, I promise. PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. I would love to talk to you, see where you are and if you're a good fit for my program. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode 64: 5 Steps To Ease Anxiety

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about several ways in which you can lessen your level of stress and anxiety. Dr. Naik invites you to learn about how you can break anxiety in order to create inner peace for yourself. Tune in to this episode for more.

In this episode, you will learn:

How to Manage A Busy Mind
What The Default Mode Network is and How to Deal with it
Easy Practical Strategies to Manage Stress & Anxiety Mindfully

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 64. Hello, thank you so much for tuning in today. I hope you're having a great day. If you're listening on Wednesday, the day that this podcast drops, happy, happy Wednesday, people call it hump day I guess. I'm not that into that saying. So I'll just call it Wednesday.

Hope everything is going smoothly. And as we bid the summer farewell, you're still able to find ways to enjoy yourself. Even though I know, especially in the northeast, summer is a really fun time that we all enjoy because we get to be outdoors. I want to talk a little bit about one of my clients before we dive into today's topics.

My client Melanie who is an allergist, so she's a physician specializing in allergy immunology. She's a mom of two small kids and we work together and she was telling me how much better she was doing after coaching with me in terms of her anxiety. And the mindfulness tools that we use, she was really able to go from basically every sneeze and cough during COVID would send her into a spiral of catastrophization, worrying about “am I gonna get COVID” and stressing out.

And then through mindfulness tools that we practice, including my three N method, she was really able to process her thoughts and feelings and she was able to get distance from them and find much more peace of mind. And the work we are doing inside my coaching program is really not time intensive. So if it's possible for Melanie to be out of burnout, out of anxiety and really enjoying her life, it's possible for you too. To learn more join my free on demand masterclass four steps to ending burnout and exhaustion to finally get your peace of mind back.

So I started with telling you about Melanie and her anxiety because I want to talk about a little bit of stress and anxiety today and awareness around that because the more we educate ourselves, the more we can kick anxiety's ass and I know this is something that high achieving type A moms really struggle with. So when you're super stressed here's what is often happening.

This is the cycle: you have the stress or the stressor, you have minimal sleep, increased irritability, and then everything is irritating you and now your stress and anxiety are worse. So this is a very vicious cycle. So how do we deal with this and break the cycle? Well, by being aware, and I talk about awareness all the time, but really awareness is the first step in this work, becoming aware of what your brain is doing. If there's one thing that you can learn from my podcast episodes, it is awareness. Awareness also, we're going to talk about today that the brain is doing its own thing.

And that's the monkey mind, which is basically the default mode network or the DMN. And I'm going to explain more about that because it's really important to educate yourself on this topic in combating stress and anxiety. So do you know when your thoughts are racing a mile a minute, really swinging from one thought to the next, or really one branch to the next like a curious monkey? Well, that's why this phenomenon is called a monkey mind. And it is common when stress enters the picture, it's important to recognize that having a busy mind is totally normal, especially when we're stressed out.

So this is really the default mode network, the network in our brain that becomes active when we are not engaged in specific tasks. And it allows our mind to wander, sometimes leading to overthinking or dwelling on the past or the future and not being in the present moment. Now the DMN can really be a double edged sword because it provides us with creative thinking, but can also contribute to higher stress levels when left unchecked.

So think about your default mode network and how maybe if you didn't even know about it, you're leaving it unchecked. So I just want you to be aware of that. Really think about that. Now stress and anxiety and mind wandering are very closely connected. When we are feeling stressed or anxious, our mind tends to gravitate towards the default mode network.

And this causes us to replay stressful scenarios or obsess over things. We plan for challenges and we create an endless loop of worry. And then this can worsen our stress levels. And so it's really important for us to be aware of this, to get away from it and not feed into this default mode network as much.

Now you might be wondering, how do we manage this constant chatter in our minds along with the tendency to dwell on stressful things? Well, here's the answer, cultivating mindfulness, mindful awareness. So by acknowledging that our monkey mind and the default mode network exist, we take our power back, we get power to redirect our focus, to shift our perspective and really be mindful. And mindfulness is truly about being in the present moment, becoming an observer of our thoughts without judgment so that we're not one with our thoughts.

We're not one with our feelings, we're not going down the rabbit hole, and consciously making a decision as to where to direct our mental energy. So here are some practical strategies for navigating stress and anxiety mindfully now that we understand the default mode network and where a lot of this stems from.

So as I mentioned before, and I say in all of this work, the first step and key to this work is awareness. Now, we can also get more specific with that. We can practice breath awareness. And this is really practicing deep breathing exercises, taking a few long, deep breaths, counting to seven or eight while you inhale, you can even hold it for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly for a count of seven or eight.

Do this about five times or so and it will really clear your brain get you into the present moment, get you into your body, out of your head and practice mindfulness where you can be present and really calm your racing thoughts.

Another method is to take mindful breaks. So if you take short breaks throughout your day to just check in with yourself, you can do it let's say every time you use the restroom, or every time you wash your hands, because I'm sure you're doing that more than once a day, take a second to just check in with yourself. Notice any triggers notice what your brain is doing, and gently redirect where your attention is. Or you can just, again, ground yourself and take a few deep breaths or notice there is a body.

Another way to destress and another strategy to navigate stress and anxiety is gratitude practice. And I have a whole episode, I believe on gratitude practice in the very beginning of this podcast series.

So really just being able to think about five things you're grateful for every day, they can be really small, like the roof over your head, or having air conditioning or having heat or having food on the table. And it just helps for us to have those rose colored lenses on to have a more positive outlook on life and can really shift us from the negativity that we might be feeling when we have extra stress or anxiety.

Another method that people like, I'm not so big on this myself, I do journal every now and then, but not daily. But journaling and just getting your thoughts down on paper, just like getting your thoughts out, your feelings and giving them an outlet. Or you could also just vent, to record a voice memo to just get it out, or vent to a friend.

And that can ease some of the tension when you get it out of your brain and out of your system. Now remember, the beauty of this work is being able to manage your own mind and manage your own stress and anxiety. That's amazing, right?

Because you're going to be enjoying your life so much more. But also when we become mindful and we do this work, we're mindful of our thoughts and our patterns, we get to have this ripple effect that really extends beyond ourselves. So we cultivate more peace, ease and flow. Amazing, right, like so good.

And then that in and of itself will affect those around us, those who love us, or our children too, or our partners, or our friends, or our family and they can just feel that more peaceful vibe. And also we are setting a great example for our children on how to manage our emotions or how to cultivate peace, and then they can learn that too.

So it's not just alleviating our own stress and anxiety, but inspiring those around us to really adopt healthier ways of dealing with pressure. Remember that the monkey mind and the default network our natural parts of our brains and cognitive processes. But if we practice a bit of awareness, a bit of mindfulness, we can take control back of our mental state even when we're super challenged.

So practice the strategies I've talked about today. Really embrace the present moment and watch yourself as you increase your resilience and your ability to handle stress and anxiety.

To have a streamlined process to end burnout, exhaustion in 90 days or less that is going to work faster than therapy, yoga, self help books and more processes like the ones I've talked about today, really dive deep into this work to heal from the inside out and end burnout for good book a call with me to get started. PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. I would love to talk to you, see where you are, what's going on with you and create a roadmap for you to end burnout. Thanks so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode 63: 3 Steps To Create Joy And End Exhaustion

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses a few methods that can help you create more joy and end exhaustion in your life. Dr. Naik invites you to learn about what you can do to take life less seriously in order to have more energy to focus on what makes you happy. Tune in for more on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

How to be intentional with your energy
To cultivate awareness of joy thieves
To focus on what matters

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 63. Hello there everyone. Welcome welcome. I'm so glad to have you here today as we are beginning the school year, wrapping up the summer. By the time this comes out, I believe we might be in the first weeks of school. I know my friend in Florida, her kids actually start school the end of August. So some of you may be already well into the school year.

Before I get started on today's topic, I do want to let you know that enrollment is open for my life coaching program for professional moms who are exhausted and burnt out. Actually a client of mine, Helen, said to me that as a busy full time working physician and a mother of three children, she was really struggling finding time for herself, to take care of herself while taking care of her family. It was just all too much. She felt a lot of mom guilt, she was chronically overworked, overwhelmed, exhausted. This was all before working with me.

But after coaching with me, she realized and overcame many of the obstacles that she didn't even know existed. Coaching actually revealed for her these obstacles that were preventing her from really enjoying her life. And after coaching with me, she found much more happiness, more balance, and has hours back every week.

To learn more about my process, check out my free on demand masterclass on overcoming exhaustion and burnout to truly enjoy your life, the strategies, the link will be in the show notes.

Today, I want to talk about the concept of taking things too seriously. And funnily enough, there is a slogan from Al-Anon. That is "easy does it." And that's an awesome slogan just to kind of ground oneself and realize that we've just got to take it easy sometimes. And I know this is so much easier said than done. Because we have so much to manage as professional moms, we've got the busy jobs, we're managing so much at home, and it can be like the default to get really caught up in the day to day grind.

So something that I find is a phenomenon amongst my friends, my age group, my clients, is that everyone is really busy. They're trying to make a ton of money for their children, for their own lives and dreams. And they're just in this grind of working, working, working. And then they get home. And they're just doing the routine without really thinking about it. They're exhausted, then let's say they go to bed, they're over Netflix-ing, they're not sleeping enough. And it's just a malicious cycle.

This grind is so depleting and yet, it's really how so many people live, especially if they don't take the time to really evaluate how they're living, which is some of the beauty of life coaching. That's why I'm so passionate about it. Additionally, working women will be hyper-organized, and they'll organize and plan everything to the T, to have a false sense of control. But really stuff happens all the time to make our plans go awry. And then when things do go wrong, after you plan something to the T, or you organize up the wazoo, then a lot of times we freak out or we'll have a ton of anxiety and it's exhausting. And it's not fun.

And the to do list also will make us totally miserable. And I talk about this in Episode 37. If you want to know how to deal with your to do list. The other part of the grind that people take too seriously. And you get all caught up with the three C's, I call them the three C's. Cleanliness, crumbs, and clutter. Because there's been a lot of stuff on social media and with Marie Kondo, with her clearing out clutter, and I do, let me just say for the record, I do love that idea. And I myself don't like crumbs and I myself try really hard to not keep things cluttered and to have everything neat and tidy and clean.

But the point of bringing this up is often we cling to the three C's, the cleanliness, crumbs, clutter, because it's something that we can control. When there's chaos around us. We need that to be in order because at least that's going right. And there's nothing wrong with that. I'm just pointing out so that you can be aware of what you might be doing and do you need to be as intense about the three C's? Do you need to devote as much time and energy on that kind of stuff? Or would your time be better spent trying to relax or getting to bed on time.

Other things that we take too seriously and drive ourselves crazy about are getting to the airport on time, getting to school on time, getting kids out the door, getting to work on time, packing the lunch in the morning, the laundry running smoothly, planning anything in super detail, especially trips. I've seen people really plan these trips to the T, and some people really enjoy this and that's great, but I bring it up here because I just want to point out if organizing and planning things in uber detail brings you joy, that's great. But then just remember, when things don't work out, you can make an active decision to not take it too seriously, not let it cause you suffering, and actually take it in your stride.

So these are just examples of mundane things. And of course, a lot of these things need to be done, right. But we do not need to spend a ton of energy on these sorts of things. We get to make an active decision, we get to decide where our energy goes. And that is empowering. And that's what helps us really get control of our lives, deciding where it's going to go. And so the energy needs to go to our priorities.

So one thing that's important is you really need to figure out what your priorities are. For many people. This is their children, raising their children, teaching their children, rearing their children, loving their children, caring for their children, and their partner or their family, their friends, nurturing those relationships, their jobs, their careers, that's important too, right? And whatever else that might be on your priority list.

My observation though of most women around my age is that they are really held back, bogged down, tired out by the to do list. And this mundane to do list and the mundane stuff leaves them feeling tired, depleted, and trying to find Band Aid solutions, like a little bit of yoga or working out on their peloton, maybe some therapy, Google searches, self help books, audiobooks, but it doesn't work, because these are all external Band Aid solutions.

And the work has to happen from the inside and ripple outwards. So we have to do the work on ourselves to really heal ourselves. And that's how we get past exhaustion and burnout to enjoy our lives. So the first step in this work, like I've talked about, is really awareness. And that's always where to start. Being aware when we allow small things to steal our joy, for example, allowing a day of missed recycling to ruin your day or steal your joy, allowing the crumbs on the counter from the toaster to steal your joy. Or let's say your kids are drawing with crayons on the couch. I know that's happened to me letting that steal your joy. And it's just small stuff.

And we really don't need to sweat the small stuff. In the long run, it's not going to matter, the crumbs aren't going to matter, the crayons on the couch won't matter. The things that really matter, which we know, like our health and you know, our loved ones, our relationships with them, the connections we make, we know that somewhere deep down inside, but on a day to day basis, this often gets lost.

So listen to this podcast episode as your reminder to really focus on your priorities, take some time to brainstorm them and think about what they are. Maybe put them on a post-it note and have them as a reminder of that's really your focus to help you not get upset or bogged down by smaller things.

Now, these are smaller injustices. I'm talking about like first world issues, for example, paying a cleaning lady a lot of money. Why is there hair in the shower after she just left? I say this from personal experience. Yuck. But seriously, that stuff triggers me. But I do manage my mind when stuff like this happens and not let it steal my joy. Because I do know it's a first world problem. I do know it's not the end of the world. I do know that it's okay. It's enough. It's not a huge deal.

So when it comes to smaller issues, we get to choose to zoom out, we get to see the larger picture, we get to empower ourselves to keep the larger picture in mind. You can choose to focus on the big picture and not allow small things to take your power away. I'm sitting here teaching you to do the same. So you too can be in the fun, the dream, the happiness of your life, because it is possible for you like it has been for my clients and me. Life is so beautiful. And don't get me wrong. It can be ugly at times, right? That's the human experience.

But there is so much beauty there is so much magic and it is really short, life, that is, so we can't waste it on meaningless crap. So along with brainstorming your priorities, that's your to do list. That's your homework from this podcast episode. To list your priorities, put them somewhere where you can see them.

And now I'm going to give you a couple more steps in this exercise of not sweating the small stuff because it really is a key component in being energized and feeling joy. You may want to pause this or come back to this later. So you can write this down.

But I want you to take some time to think about what is important along with your priorities. What is important? What matters in your life every single day? Who matters in your life every single day. What impact do you want to have on people, on the world when you die? What are your priorities? Who are your priorities? And how are these people who are your priorities? Are they well? Are they healthy? And then you can express gratitude for that. And I believe I have another episode on gratitude practice earlier on one of the earlier episodes of this podcast. So definitely check that out, because that is an antidote to burnout and an easy way to increase happiness.

Another tip I'm going to give you it's a little extreme, but it works. So, often, I will purposely catastrophize in the sense that, let's say there's a babysitter or nanny who is not following the exact instructions I give them with my kid like not following schedule, being late, being behind. I will ask myself, is my child alive? He or she isn't going to die, right? If that's the case, then I'm going to let it go. Now this attitude is really helpful in letting some of the smaller things go because I think here we are perfectionist, we want things to go a certain way with our kids, we are really type A and it can cause us a lot of suffering. So adapting this kind of extreme thinking is helpful in allowing things to just roll off your shoulders.

And truth be told, before I did this work in coaching, I would obsess over, let's say the carrots not being pureed in the right way for my child. Like stuff that really didn't matter. Once you create your priorities, once you do this exercise, you can focus on your priorities and really start dropping the smaller stuff. Dropping stuff that doesn't matter and taking your power back from the BS small things like the to do list, which I know seems like a huge deal. But in the end, a lot of it doesn't matter. It's just going to get done, the crumbs on the counter, the mess, the crayons on the couch, et cetera.

So by doing this, we can take an active role in our happiness and ditch exhaustion, ditch burnout, ditch overwhelm, to finally enjoy our lives. To have a streamlined process to find confidence, get clarity, make decisions and have inner peace while having a positive ripple effect on your kids, on your family, on those you love. And these processes will work a lot faster than therapy yoga, self help books. Book a call with me to get started on this work. PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me You can be out of exhaustion and burnout in 90 days or less. Thank you so much for tuning in. And I will talk to you next week.

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Episode 63: 3 Steps To Create Joy And End Exhaustion

In this episode, you will learn:

How to be intentional with your energy
To cultivate awareness of joy thieves
To focus on what matters

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

To learn more about my process, check out my free on demand masterclass on overcoming exhaustion and burnout to truly enjoy your life, the strategies, the link will be in the show notes.

View Details

Ep 62: How To Not Mess Up Your Kids By Building A Legacy

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about what you can do to foster a healthy, supportive environment for your children. Dr. Naik invites you to learn about how you can help your kids be their best selves by showing up for them as the most joyful version of yourself. Tune in to this episode for more on this topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

Showing Up As The Best Version Of You To Help Your Kids
What Kind Of Legacy You Want To Leave For Your Kids
What You Liked And Didn’t Like About How You Grew Up
Crafting A Plan For Cultivating Good Feelings In Your Home
What You Want Your Kids To Remember Of Their Childhoods

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 62. Hello, hello, I hope you're doing well today. I am so excited about today's show.

But before we dive in, I want to remind you for those of you who are listening and you're ready to have a breakthrough year in your life, I have a special invitation for you. If you're a professional mom who's exhausted and tired all the time, you've tried the self help books, late night Google searches, yoga, meditation, the peloton, therapy, and none of it has worked in the long run, in the long term and you are ready to enjoy your life, find peace, happiness and fun. I have a special invite for you.

I'm going to work with a select group of clients in my program overcome burnout for good for women to heal from the inside out using the most streamlined way to find peace, fun and joy. Every client I work with gets a personalized roadmap from me to get them to where they want to go to build their best life, their dream life because it is totally possible for them like it has been for me and my clients. So many clients of mine, before they came to me wasted a ton of time and energy on therapy, audiobooks without results.

And I have distilled my process down to streamlined easy implementable tools like my three N method and processes after years of research and trial and error. As a physician also having my master's in neuroscience I've done all that work and I've distilled it down to work that you could do in a few months of work to get the tangible results that you're really looking for. Better relationships, more presence at home, no longer obsessing about work or your never ending to do list and getting hours back each week, to name a few. I want to invite you if you are ready to get out of exhaustion get out of burnout.

Don't waste any more time and energy and you want customized support and the specific easy to do type tools and strategy then book a call with me. You'll be prompted to fill out a short application because my program is by application and then set up a call, we can talk about what's getting in your way what is possible for you and put a game plan together for you to love your life again. PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. Spaces are limited because of the high level of support that I offer. And if this is something that you're truly looking to do book that call with me so we can get started on this powerful work. Prianca NaikMDcoaching.as.me.

Now let's dive into today's show. Something that I realize that comes up all the time clients are coming to me with one of their main concerns is not screwing up their kids. Before I get into how we do that. The caveat here is that we are human, we are imperfect, and our kids probably will have stuff that they need to work out from their childhoods, regardless of what we do. But of course, we can most certainly strive to create a healthy atmosphere for them, and healthy modeling. And really a childhood that they fondly look back on.

And the work of course, starts with us. That is the epiphany that I had when my older child was born, I knew I needed to do something different, no more anxiety all the time, no more wigging out about stuff that did not matter. And I didn't want that ambiance for him. And that is what brought me to this powerful work, to really manage my stress and anxiety so much better, to crush exhaustion and burnout so that I could be my best self for him and now my daughter. Because that is really for me the priority in my life.

Like you, I'm a working mom, right? I'm a professional mom. And I knew I wanted to have kids from a very young age. And that was one major dream come true for me, becoming a mother. And it changed everything for me. But I also of course, have my career and my dreams for myself, which can exist in conjunction. And of course, this work began by managing my stress and anxiety and really ending exhaustion for myself. But my journey ended up going so much farther than that. And now I'm truly building my best life, my dream life in which I am I really having a blast. And because of this, because I am grateful for my life, because I'm in my best life.

My kids, I will say they really are some of the happiest kids I've seen around. They are always smiling, they are just having the best childhood and on their own of course, they're magical, but there's also this atmosphere that I am creating with them, for them filled with joy. And that is in part due to the work I've done on myself where I am able to really cultivate peace of mind, balance, and find happiness within me and then it bleeds onto them and it's really so beautiful and powerful. And this is what I teach my clients to do as well. They do the same.

So now I ask you, what kind of legacy do you want to leave for your kids? And this is really, we're going to do an exercise here of what kind of legacy you intend on leaving for your children. Because when we can put some time and energy and thought into this and create a plan and have a larger picture in mind, we can then really be intentional with what we're doing with ourselves, the kind of atmosphere we're creating for our children, how we're interacting with them, and then of course, the ripple effect on them, and what they're gonna look back on, on their childhood.

And this is the major first step in not screwing up our kids, well, as best as we can. We're going to do an exercise here. And I'm going to ask you a series of questions. And I suggest you take the time to really think about these questions and write the answers down. So I would say pause this episode, if you're driving and come back to it later. And then you can really do this exercise.

And I believe you should be able to find this exercise in the show notes on my website, stresscleansemd.com, under podcasts and the episodes in case you want to listen, and then you want to kind of look back later and do the exercise. So here we go, here are the questions.

Take some time to think about the legacy that your parents left you. Maybe they're still alive, but what impression did they leave on you? What feeling do you have about your childhood? What are two to three words that come to your mind about your childhood? What do you like about the legacy that your parents left for you? Now take some time to really think about this, I would brainstorm five to 10 things that you really like about the legacy that your parents left you. Now ask yourself, what do you not like about the legacy or your childhood? Five to 10 things I would brainstorm what you don't like.

Now, when it comes to you and how you want to proceed? Think about the list of what you did like, what you do like and what do you want to continue in terms of what you like? And how can you continue the parts of the legacy that you appreciate? That will take some time cultivating a plan of creating that. So take some time to do that. When you're done with that, then ask yourself, what do you want to do differently in terms of relating to the list of things that you did not like about growing up? Now I want you to think about the present tense, What feeling do you want to be a predominant feeling in your home when your kids are growing up and when they're reflecting on their childhoods?

Now remember, we can do our best to create and cultivate these ambiances, atmospheres, and feelings. And our children have the right to be their own people and have their own conclusion, right, but we're going to do our best on our end. Now once you figure out what this predominant feeling is and the feeling that you want your kids to have when they think about their childhood or the atmosphere in your home, craft a plan of specific steps of how you can cultivate that feeling on a daily basis.

So I'm going to give you an example here to help you out on this in case you're feeling a little bit lost. So for me when I think of how I want my kids to feel or the ambiance I want my children to feel loved, and I want my children to feel heard. So how I make them feel loved. And of course I enjoy this too. This is really savoring hugs, really greeting them in the morning and saying good morning giving them a hug and my au pair does help get my kids ready for school. She does the brushing teeth, which I find to be one of the most, I don't know why young children fight brushing their teeth so much, but she deals with that but I have the privilege I get to enjoy hugging them, kissing them, greeting them, and really basking in their presence in the morning.

And I also make sure to savor my evening time with them. The bedtime routine and also before the bedtime routine of course I am a talker as you can imagine. So asking my older one about his day and highs lows and gratitude practice and things like that. And feeling loved is also, I think for my son it's playing with him so I try to do special time with him as much as I can, which there is a previous podcast episode on special time if you want to learn how to do that.

Because also it's a love language thing, right, where I need to do things where I feel like they feel loved so we can always ask our kids what would you like to do more of with me and that can really give us a lot of information of how they feel connected to us. So creating that connection based off what they think as well as for ourselves.

And I do my best with them to make my time with them count, so to be present. So also I will tell them how much I love them, how grateful I am for them. We do dance parties, we blow bubbles outside. And I enjoy this. And I hope they remember this when they're older, they may not, but just that mom was there and that she was loving us. And in terms of the part where I want my kids to feel heard, I do my best to make time to listen to their stories, listen to their accounts, listen to their songs, listen to whatever they're saying, I won't drop everything I'm doing, you know, I have my own personal boundaries, but I do make time to listen to them with whatever they have to say, because I want them to know that they are being heard by me, and it's a safe space for them to express themselves.

So you can do this any which way that you want. Brainstorm how you can create that atmosphere that you want for them. A few more questions for this exercise? What do you want your children to fondly remember when they are adults about growing up with you as their parent? So really take time to make a list and think about what you want them to remember. When you have that list, how can you infuse that more on a daily or weekly basis? And what do you want to leave behind for them, tangible and intangible. Tangible could be money, art, books. Intangible could be more of the things that you want them to feel that you did for them or that you created for them. For example, a sense of stability, a sense of strength, a sense of safety or confidence.

What else would you want to create, that you want to leave behind for them? And how will you go about creating what we're talking about, this legacy? So I would take time to list out the questions that we talk about here on this episode, journal on them, take time to craft out a plan and then once you have your plan, figure out how you're going to implement it on a day to day or week to week basis. And that is how we create our legacy.

That is how we create a life with intention. And I talk about intention and one of the first episodes of this podcast and that is how we do our best to not screw up our kids. And if you're ready to put this work into action and do the work to heal from the inside out to get results like truly ending burnout, enjoying your life, having fun, not being exhausted, finding peace of mind, and being your best self for your children, for your spouse, then don't waste any more time and book a call with me to get started. PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. Link is in the show notes. Thank you so much for tuning in. And I will talk to you next week.

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Ep 61: How To Get Peace Without Meditating

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses how she came to create her own fun, modern mindfulness practices that don’t involve meditating. Dr. Naik invites you to learn about how you can easily implement these processes into your own life and create peace for yourself. Tune in to this episode for more on this topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

Easy implementable mindfulness practices without meditation
How Mindfulness Can Change Your Life
Finding Balance With Mindfulness
The Benefits of Mindfulness
To be present at home and with your kids

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the Empowering Working Moms podcast episode number 61. Well hello there, I am so glad to have you tuning in today, listening. Welcome, welcome to the Empowering Working Moms podcast.

Recently, one of my clients was actually telling me that she was able to find her voice, she really felt like she was unheard. And through our work, she learned to find her voice, speak up for herself and basically get the job schedule and timing that she wanted, cutting back to part time work instead of I believe maybe she went from point eight to point six. But regardless, she is now creating more space, more time, more joy in her life, and she has learned to create small ways to connect with her kids that are not overwhelming. She feels like she's a better mother and a better spouse. S

o the work we are really doing here inside my coaching program, it's so remarkable and really not time intensive. I've created these streamline processes like my 3N method to help clients like this one, like Nidhi, get out of burnout and it is possible for you too. To learn more join my free on demand masterclass to end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back.

So I want to talk about mindfulness and practicing it without having to meditate and really what is a larger mission of mine. So my mission is to spread a modern fun, fresh spin on mindfulness for women like myself, professional moms, doctors, lawyers, executives, pharmaceutical execs, other kinds of doctors like veterinarians, chiropractors, you name it, who are exhausted because they've worked so hard, and they really deserve to enjoy their lives. And mindfulness is such a key component of this, and you don't have to meditate for hours and hours. And I'm going to talk about that today.

And why is this so important, my mission? Because mindfulness truly changed my life. Like literally, I feel like I'm a different person. It helped me to manage my anxiety, my stress, negative thoughts and emotions, and all these things that used to ruin my life, they used to make me so miserable, the stress, the anxiety, the negativity, now they no longer have a power over me. And in fact, I have power over them. So this needs to be shared. And that's when I realized that I want to spread this concept of mindfulness can be fun, mindfulness can change your life, and you don't have to meditate and sit for hours and hours, to have that beautiful positive impact on your life.

And I realized through working with clients, and even talking to my friends as well, that no one wants to sit and meditate. And this is really what led me to come up with my own easy, streamlined processes that are implementable step by step, quick to do. It takes a matter of seconds to help deal with any and all negative emotions, stress, anxiety, and all that stuff that is so prevalent in our lives, like my three N method. And you know, what's awesome about this, my life is not only less stressful, and less exhausting, and of course, no more exhaustion and burnout.

But the best part of all this is I am having fun every single day. And for me, that's really what my life is about. It's about my purpose, raising my beautiful little humans and of course, positively impacting the world. And that is why I became a physician. But I've actually found through life coaching, I have the privilege of working with moms like myself and having this impact on them. And then that, of course, has a ripple effect on their friends, their families, their children, their spouses, at their jobs. And that, to me is the greatest, most powerful work I can do.

So how did I get here? How did I find this powerful work? Well, basically, when I became a mother, my life completely changed. And what I found was with my older child, I was working full time, I think all of my colleagues were male, and a lot of them actually had wives who either were stay at home moms or their jobs weren't like high power professional jobs. So basically, I was kind of alone in my being a mom working in a high power job with a spouse who also worked in a high powered job, and I found myself feeling so anxious postpartum. At a certain point, it became crippling when I went back to work and I knew that I had to make a serious change. Otherwise, I was going to have to quit my job and I wasn't going to be able to function anymore.

So at that time, I would do these desperate Google searches in the middle of the night and that led me to find a group therapy that was specifically for professionals with anxiety. And one of the prerequisites of this group was meditation. And funnily enough, I will say that group was mainly men as well, which is also what made me realize women need a place to go. And that's why I've created my own group coaching program. I digress. So back to the group. So meditation was one of the prerequisites of being a part of the group and I had tried in the past, but I could never really stick to it.

Now, of course, when I joined this group, I am a good student and committed. So because it was something that the head therapist of this group required, I began to actually practice meditation and committed myself to doing it regularly. And also actually around that time, I needed to manage my stress better. So I began to exercise too, when I had hated exercise my whole life. And I started doing that when my son was a newborn.

And at the time that seemed to solve everything for me until it didn't. And that's how I dove even deeper into this work that I do. And that's a story for another time. But through regular meditation practice, I learned the tools of mindfulness. And what this did for me was help me to get distance from my thoughts and my feelings. And then I saw how powerful it was how maybe the emotions, the thoughts, the feelings, especially the negative ones, they weren't really serving me, even though I grew up in a home where emotions ran high. And feeling itself was a good thing, which it is, but maybe it was too much.

And I began to really evaluate what my thoughts and my feelings were doing in my life. And I got to choose to have the distance from the thoughts and the feelings. And that distance, I began to cultivate through my mindfulness practice, which is what I ended up learning after sitting for hours and hours of meditation. But what I carry from that, which I realized I could help other people do, because nobody wants to sit for hours and hours, nobody has the time, or they don't want to make the time, right. It's not practical to meditate constantly.

So I realized that you don't have to sit for hours and hours to find peace. And actually, you can do it in a matter of seconds. And that is how I created my own processes. My own modern mindfulness, fun processes inside my coaching program, including my 3N method. And these mindfulness practices really have two benefits. One is that you no longer have to be owned by your thoughts and your feelings. And that is so powerful. You actually have the power, you can own your thoughts and feelings, as long as you practice a little bit of mindfulness. And you can know that bad stuff will pass, that this too shall pass.

And number two, when you're practicing mindfulness, and maybe I didn't really define mindfulness, but being mindful is being in the present moment, being aware of your thoughts and your feelings and noticing, it's really just being aware and noticing. So when you can be mindful, that's how you become an observer of your thoughts and feelings, you're no longer one with them, you get to have distance from them. And that's how you empower yourself to not let them own you, if that makes sense. And if you have any questions about this, feel free to email me at prianca@stresscleansemd.com and I'd be happy to elaborate further.

Okay, so back to the two benefits of mindfulness, the second benefit of mindfulness is really being able to be present, and especially being present for all of the good times. And there is so much beauty that life has to offer. And this can be anything from a small thing like a hug, or a major life event. And I will say that before being mindful, I really let my life pass me by. And there's nothing I can do about that now, right? And I never really soaked in those moments. But now post this work, post having mindfulness in my life, my life is so much richer, and I literally get chills when I'm talking about this because I get to really feel moved by the powerful moments in my life.

And most recently, celebrating my 40th birthday with friends was the most meaningful, it just, I'm like getting choked up thinking about it, but people showing up for me and celebrating with me in such an important time in my life. And I'm so grateful to them. And they've also seen me through the darker times too, but just the consistency of the same people who have loved and cared about me for like 20 years and plus.

So anyway, the point is I'm sitting here, crying about that, and I'm not going to edit this. This is real, and this is raw. But the point of telling that is that I got to experience, for example, that beauty in all of its splendor, and really be present for it. And I have memories of celebrating my birthday that will stay with me for a lifetime. A shout out to my friends who were there for that, so thank you so much.

So with mindfulness, we get to cultivate peace of mind at any given moment, because we get distance from our thoughts and our feelings. But we can also be present and not be distracted, not scrolling on our phone, we can focus on our breath, let's say and really be where we are, and have that memory and just enjoy while we're there.

So meditating, I realized that mindfulness is really something that anyone can implement. So you get to be having fun and enjoy things and be present. And you have that easy awareness that you can sit with the negativity, let's say and notice it and not go down the negative spiral or the rabbit hole, and really just hone in on your mind body connection. And what I really did is, as you can imagine, I'm a physician, I have my master's in neuroscience. And I say all this because I clearly have the scientific background. And also, I obviously am diligent, I'm a hard worker.

So what I did was I put this science and I put this hard work, and I applied it to living my life. And that is why this coaching has been so powerful for me and it is for my clients too. And I get to reap the benefits of my streamlined processes that are easy to do to really enjoy life. And I teach my clients to do the same.

My client Lena who is a pharma exec, and she has two young kids, she really after working with me has been enjoying her life doing what she wants to do, what she sees as fun. She has her weekend time back, she's no longer overfilling it, she takes walks. She's gotten into guitar practice again. And she was even considering becoming a volunteer firefighter, which is so cool. But when she started with me, she was dreading the day and now she's actually really enjoying her life and creating everything she wants.

And she had asked me, it was music to my ears, she asked me where do I go from here when we were wrapping up and I said, Well, you know, shits gonna come up and you have the tools and you will use them. So that's what we do inside overcome burnout for good, inside my life coaching program, we've got these easy implementable tools that really not only get women out of burnout, out of exhaustion, out of dreading the day but really they get to create their best life. They get to enjoy their lives and it's just like a little bit of sprinkling of magic into it truly and you will find yourself having fun because that is what this is about.

Life is too short to not enjoy it. If you want to have a streamlined process to be out of burnout, out of exhaustion and truly enjoying your life again book a call with me and get started on this work. It's gonna work faster than therapy, yoga, or self help books, or whatever Google searches and articles you might be wasting your time reading because yeah, those are helpful but you really need an organized research based streamlined process that works. PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. Book a call me to get started. Thanks for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

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Ep 60: How To Stop Getting Stressed About Everything

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she talks about how you can harness the power of changing your mindset in order to be less stressed. Dr. Naik invites you to learn about what you can do to decrease your stress levels all through the power of your own mind. Tune in to this episode for more information on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

Fixed vs. Growth Mindset
How Self-Awareness Can Help You Enjoy Your Life
Deciding What A Situation Means To You
Creating Your Own Narrative To Bring Inner Peace

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the Empowering Working Moms podcast episode number 60. Hello there. Welcome, welcome. Thank you so much for tuning in to my podcast today. I am so excited to have you. And if you don't know about me, I just want to introduce myself again, my name is Prianca Naik, I am a physician. I'm a mom of two small kids. I'm also a life coach.

And what really brought me into this work was becoming a mother and realizing that the way I was living my life, not only was it not sustainable, but I was anxious all the time. And I just knew I wanted to create a better ambiance for my child to grow up in. And now you will see me with a pep in my step. And you know, my kids are always smiling and having a good time. It is through my own journey that took me years of research and hard work to come up with streamlined processes, like my 3N method to help women like yourself really be done with exhaustion and burnout.

And you know, I have clients like my client Sumir, who was on the verge of a clinical depression, but through working with me, really, she was able to have more confidence to make decisions and have much less shame and self doubt. And having a better relationship with her spouse and her kids and feeling more balanced. So the work we are doing inside my coaching program, it's really not time intensive, because we've got my streamline processes, very easy to follow. Quick, kind of a modern spin on mindfulness that makes it fun to do and will have you really enjoying your life. And to learn more join my free on demand masterclass four steps to ending burnout and exhaustion to finally get your peace of mind back.

So today I'm going to dive into mindset work and mindset shifts. And mindset is really something that gets thrown around a lot in the life coaching world. So if you don't know anything about mindset, it really refers to a person's established set of attitudes, beliefs, thought patterns, that ends up really shaping their perception of their lives, of themselves, of others, of the world. And it's really a mental framework that influences how we understand situations, how we make decisions, or how we respond to challenges or opportunities.

So the power of mindset. And what's really the gold here is that mindsets can actually be changed, they can be developed. And we have control over that. So once we're aware of what a mindset is, we can work with it through our own consciousness, we realize it's there. And we can create awareness around this and really decide how we want to proceed. So mindset work really embodies becoming aware of one's existing beliefs and attitudes, and really working to reshape them in order to create a more positive and helpful constructive environment for ourselves and how we see things.

And there are a couple of different mindsets that get talked about a lot. There's a fixed mindset, which is really where people tend to believe in their own inherent natural abilities, intelligence, traits, feeling like things can't really change. And often this will lead to avoiding challenges for fear of failure or setbacks, and feeling like you're limited and can really hinder personal growth and learning.

But now the growth mindset, which is so magical, and I really wish I had had this when I was in college, or even high school, better late than ever, is when we believe that our abilities and intelligence can be developed over time through effort, learning, hard work, perseverance, really embracing challenges, and seeing missteps and mistakes as opportunities for learning and growth. And it's so much more fun to approach life this way. So when you have a growth mindset, you might be more likely to take some risks or challenge yourself. And it really leads to more resilience, motivation and achievement. Sounds good, right?

So we're going to talk a little bit about that today. And really mindset work embodies self awareness exercises, and really challenging our negative thought patterns and seeing how we're thinking. And then we can start beginning to see how we have maybe limiting beliefs, meaning beliefs that hold us back or make us think that we can't do something. So really being aware, learning about mindset, it is such a powerful tool in taking control of our lives, how we see things and really experiencing it in such a better way. So here is a process that I follow and I'm going to explain my process to you and then I'm going to give you my own personal example, so that you can understand how I use this work.

So there are a few steps in this. Step number one is to be aware. Awareness is really the first step and the key in this life coaching work. The work that ends burnout, the work that ends exhaustion, the work that helps you enjoy the life that you've worked so hard for. So we deserve to enjoy our lives, right? So here we go, we are aware of what our brain is doing. Be aware of the story that your brain is telling you. You might be thinking, what? My brain is telling me a story, what do you mean? So basically, the way we see things, the way we see our lives is really just a bunch of thoughts that we create in our brains. And often those stories are tied to old narratives or old stories, or let's say a victim mentality or mode, right.

So once we are aware of a narrative or story that our brain is telling us, we don't have to be so enmeshed in it, we don't have to be married to that story. Because when we believe, especially negative stories, when we believe them as truth, they make us feel anxious, or stressed or angry, or whatever, right. So the first step is becoming aware of what story your brain is telling you.

And then Step number two is to decide. So step one, awareness, be aware. Step two: decide. So you get to decide, you have the power to make an active decision as to whether you want to indulge in making a specific situation or event, what are you making it mean? So this is really so important to realize. What are we making things mean all the time? Because we have certain stories, and then we make them mean something, and then that leads to more distress. Very simple example, you know, someone could in the grocery store be rude with you, or like, cut you in line in checking out your groceries. And you might say, oh my God, that person thinks that I'm somebody you can take advantage of, and this and that and create a whole story, some story you have about yourself, and then that's just going to make you feel bad. As opposed to maybe that person is having a bad day. Maybe that person is a jerk, and it has nothing to do with me. Right?

So this is just something to reflect on. Think about what story you're creating, and do you really want to indulge in that story. So you might be wondering, how do I decide this? So here's how you decide, is this story serving me? Is this story helpful in living my life the way I want to live it? And then you get to decide, do you want to hold on to this story? Do you want to keep it because maybe if it's not serving you, that's the story you might want to drop, right.

And then the third step is, and this is a bit more advanced, but then you can decide you want to create a new story. Let's say a story that's helpful, a story that makes you feel good, or gives you inner peace. So these are the steps of the process to follow of really shifting what we make things mean. So one is, be aware, two is decide if you're going to indulge in the story or not, do you want to hold on to it. And three is decide if you want to create a new story or not.

So I'm gonna give you my own personal example. Recently, I have had a lot of stressors going on at the same time, lots of juggling, lots of balls in the air. In terms of my career, I have been busy seeing patients a lot and also coaching. I'm in the middle of a very high conflict divorce, managing my children, of course, they are two and five. So it's a lot on my plate, right. And I could see that everything was starting to pile up.

Now remember, I have been doing this work for a really long time. So having a lot on my plate or major stressors, I'm able to approach them with ease, but I'm not perfect. So of course, I'm not going to be thrilled about every single little thing every single moment, but I'm walking you through how I manage things. Okay, so what I could see was all this was piling on, and I found myself being in a cranky mood about everything. I could just feel like everything was getting on my nerves, small things, I was irritable, I wasn't sleeping well, I could see that there was a lot of stress going on. And I knew I was in control of it. Like I knew that I was the one creating all this. But given all that I found myself feeling upset or angry about certain things.

So when I could see this was happening, I dug into my story. And this is what my story was "XYZ is unfair." Well, maybe it was. The state of medicine is broken. Maybe it is. I'm irritated one of my friends planned a trip to a blistering hot place and that is wrong. Well, maybe it is. But the bottom line is whether or not these stories are true, which there's no fact in these stories. They're not true at all in the sense that things that are actually true are objective like numbers, for example, like you can't argue with the number in your bank account. You can't argue with your age. Those are facts. They don't have a charge to them, right.

But these stories that I'm talking about, they are stories I create, and they have charge. So when I'm realizing I'm creating these stories, I have the power, just like you do in the stories that you're creating. So when you find yourself creating these stories, follow the three step process that I mentioned, right? So be aware, ask yourself if the story is really true, what is the root of the story? Do I want to feed into the story? If not, how can I reframe and create a new one.

So remember, one, be aware. Two, decide make an active decision about the story. And three, decide if you want to hold on to it or create a new story. So in my own personal story, I've been in a cranky mood, and I'm aware of my stories. I'm not actually sure I want to change these stories right now. So that's what's interesting, but I know that it's an active decision. It's a choice that I'm making of whether or not I want to indulge in these stories. So I'm not in a place where I'm indulging in a major way. But I'm also not on the third step where I'm creating a new story, I'm just kind of sitting with the story observing, being an observer of what my brain is doing, and then really kind of sitting with it.

So I am giving myself some grace and realizing that these stories are my own creation, which are creating the negative feelings. And that in and of itself is powerful, because I know that I am not a victim. I know that I'm creating my own stories and my own life experience. And as I give myself the grace, the space, and the time, when I'm ready, I can begin to build a new story. See, so I have the power and now I'm teaching you to have your own power. It's so beautiful. So see how it's done.

Follow this process, it really is gold and it will change your life. And to learn more streamline processes like this and my 3N method which took me years of research and trial and error to get out of exhaustion and burnout book a call with me to get an anti burnout roadmap, see if we're a good fit to work together to truly enjoy your life again because you deserve to, you've worked so hard not to. PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. Book a call, the link is in the show notes. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode #59: How To Stop Yelling At Your Kids

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she discusses mindfulness tools and methods to help keep yourself from yelling and staying grounded. Dr. Naik invites you to learn about what you can do to reduce irritability and stop yourself from yelling, even when you really feel like it. Tune in to this episode for more on this topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

Preparing ahead of time for stressors
Mindfulness tools to process irritability
Proven processes to cultivate inner peace
Self-compassion to create inner confidence

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the Empowering Working Moms podcast episode number 59. Hello there. Thank you so much for tuning in today. I'm thrilled to have you. To my current and old listeners, I am so glad to have you here.

If you're new to my podcast, welcome, welcome. I am a physician and a mom of two small children. And I do this work to help women like yourself who have serious careers and are managing it all, right, and you might be exhausted.

A fun thing I have to tell is one of my clients, Samar, a mother of three young kids and a physician as well, she was telling me that before coaching with me, she was struggling to keep her house and her marriage together while heading into a clinical depression. And imagine how tough that is, and you might be able to even relate.

But through coaching with me, she found the tools that she needed to manage stressful situations. She said when stress and anxiety arise, "I am no longer spiraling into shame, blame or sadness anymore. But I know I am in control, and I have the confidence to manage them. My relationship with my husband is much better. I am balanced and grounded and a better mom and doctor."

And I love hearing this feedback from clients of mine. Knowing that they're getting out of that exhaustion, out of the burnout and truly finding peace of mind and enjoying their lives. The work we're doing inside my coaching program is really not time intensive. And clients like Sumir are beyond burnout and really creating the life they want. So if it's possible for Sumir and my clients, it is possible for you. To learn more join my free on demand masterclass to ending burnout and exhaustion and finally getting your peace of mind back.

So today's episode I'm doing because I know this is something that my clients struggle with, and you probably are struggling with too. And that is yelling at kids, how do I stop yelling at my kids. And I was actually inspired for this episode because I was working a lot and I found myself a bit cranky and a bit tired. And then I even was sick. And I woke up in the middle of the night with a really bad headache, which I never get. And my five year old was pulling normal five year old antics. And I truly felt like yelling, but I did not. But I did feel like it.

So that really inspired me to give you the material in this episode. Now remember, I've been doing this work for a really long time. So I was able to use my own mindfulness tools and methods, some of which I will teach you in this episode today, to really keep myself from yelling and to keep myself grounded. But I could feel how irritable I was from my lack of sleep. And when I take call, and I still take call in my medical practice, I take phone calls at night. So I'm sleep deprived. And I have found that my two year old and five year old are also waking up more at night as well. So I have a lot more interrupted sleep. And that, of course creates a bit of crankiness, right.

But here's the bottom line, we're human, and we're not perfect. And that means that we make mistakes. And sometimes that includes behaving in a way that can be out of integrity with who we want to be. And we get to give ourselves compassion for that. So I want to talk about giving ourselves compassion and giving ourselves grace. Today's tips and formulas are not going to mean that you never ever, ever yell again. But they are going to help a lot with helping you cultivate peace of mind, making you feel grounded when you feel like yelling at your kids. But I guess this could be used and applied to when you feel like yelling in general.

So here are tips to keep from yelling at your kids. First, I'm going to list the things that you can do ahead of time, or ahead of tiring and annoying moments when your patience is tested. Then I will get into more practical tools that you can use in the actual moments of the annoyances or when your patience is being tested. So ahead of time, take care of yourself. And this is work you can do in general.

Also this includes self care, and I normally don't go on and on about self care because it is pushed a lot in self help and in coaching and in my opinion, it is not the end all be all for wellness. But if you do not care for yourself and you do not take time for yourself, then you really may resent the irritating things that your kids might be doing.

So keep that in mind. And part of this is adequate sleep, and definitely some semblance of alone time and or connection time with your partner if you have a partner, otherwise focus on yourself, right? Cultivating joy of some sort, eating healthfully, limiting alcohol intake, and having some sort of a morning routine even if it's 5 to 10 minutes of savoring your morning cup of coffee or being alone, a quick meditation, whatever makes you happy in the morning. Get your foot started on the right day, you could set an intention for the day. So these are examples of what you can do ahead of time and how you can care for yourself.

Now, in the actual moment, when you feel irritated, let's say your kids won't go to bed on time, they won't get ready in the morning, they're refusing to brush their teeth, here's something you can do in that moment. First, ask yourself why you are irritable. Then give yourself compassion, for being irritable, and know that it's okay to feel irritable. I'm gonna give an example of this.

So the other day when my son was dancing around the hall refusing to brush his teeth, I was annoyed. And I knew I was annoyed, because I did not want to be in the long line for camp. Now, mind you, this is a very nice camp he goes to and it starts at 9am. But you cannot bring kids before that time because they charge you extra and they're already charging enough. So there's a whole time shebang for that. And if you get there closer to nine, then there's a massive line, it feels like it takes forever. Meanwhile, my daughter's daycare slash school starts at 9am also. So it's just this annoying kind of dance that's going on in the summertime. So it just takes extra time. And I did not want to be late for work, of course, and all this rigmarole.

So given all that you can imagine, I was getting annoyed when he was refusing to brush his teeth, dilly dallying. But what kept me grounded in that moment, what kept me from feeling stressed, what kept me from getting super agitated, even though I was sleep deprived, mind you. I realized that what I was worried about was being late, what I was worried about was waiting in line, maybe my daughter being late to daycare, and in the scheme of things, those things really don't matter.

So as he prolonged the morning routine ready time, I just chose to let it go. So if you can practice something like this, where you zoom out and see how important something really is. Why are you getting annoyed? And is it really worth it? And notice how much stress and energy you may be creating for yourself and intentionally choose whether or not you want to create that stress for yourself in any given moment, including moments like these.

Another tip is to realize that the moment will pass and I talk about this a lot. But this is so helpful in all storms of life, be it big or small. This too shall pass. And when you know that, it's really something that will help you zoom out and not get so upset in the actual moment. Realizing that unpleasant times, big or small, they're not going to last forever.

So an example of this was I went through the Starbucks line for food for myself. And this was in the drop off morning time. And I did not get my son a croissant because he was misbehaving in the morning, he wasn't following the routine, and I did actually get him Starbucks only a few days prior. And while we're waiting in this line, and it's taking a long time, he would not stop asking me why he couldn't have a croissant. Why, but why? And I would explain why, you know you didn't follow the morning routine, you were misbehaving, and that is why. And then eventually I just told him that I was no longer going to answer this question. I had already answered it multiple times. But he was being repetitive.

And I was already irritable because I was sleep deprived and I felt a little rushed. And I reminded myself that him asking me about the croissant was not going to last forever. And that moment was going to pass, though it feels like forever when you're in that time. I know that because I too have been there. But it actually does not last forever. So that's just something to remember that though these unpleasant moments or waiting in line or whatever it is, or repetitive questions from children can't take no for an answer. It's irritating, but it will pass. And that really can help just ease the pain of having a listen to the same thing over and over again. So that's that tip.

Next tip is give yourself a time out to collect yourself, because it's amazing how quickly we can actually shift gears or bounce back from a certain feeling. So you can even say to your children, I need a timeout right now to just collect my thoughts. I need a breather. And it's a great way of modeling to them how to cope with negative feelings or thoughts, right.

My next tip is to express yourself and actually say how you feel in the given moment. So if your kids are acting up, you can say I feel frustrated. I feel like yelling. I'm going to focus on my breath and belly breathe to calm myself, to really center myself. And I will actually do this and I will breathe and they can see me doing it. And not only does it help me center and ground myself, but it also is a great example for them of a coping skill for when you're feeling frustrated.

Another tactic I use is repeating a phrase over and over again until it gets done instead of yelling. So with the brushing teeth, I might want to scream, brush your teeth, right. That's an easier way to go about things. But instead of that, I will just say, brush your teeth, brush your teeth, please brush your teeth, please brush your teeth, please. And that's kind of boring, because it's not getting a rise.

The other thing about us yelling that you have to remember, especially for younger kids, is that it kind of shows that they're getting a rise out of us, it shows that we're responding, they're getting the attention. So the more we can be matter of fact, and just say brush your teeth, brush your teeth as if you don't care. All the more that they're not going to be so invested in fighting the force of you know, the activity of daily living, or ADLs, as we call it in medicine, when we're assessing elderly folks on how well they can take care of themselves. I digress. But yeah, when they're avoiding just regular things that just need to be done non negotiables, like teeth brushing.

Next technique, listen up to this one. So I will really use my mind body connection to ground myself. So also when I was sitting in the drive through with my son, and that was the same Starbucks scenario, another technique I used was feeling my body. I noticed my body sitting on the seat of the car. And I really focused on my breath. And as I was able to notice my body, my feet on the ground, the weight of my body, and focusing on my breath, and sometimes I will just count my breaths. And that helps me get out of my head and into my body.

And what this does is it takes our focus away from the irritating situation, and gives us distance from that irritated feeling, or the thoughts that we have that are creating that feeling. So we can not be so married to our thoughts and feelings. And then we can really help ourselves get distance from what feels like a stressful situation. And if you really are able to do this, practice this and tune into your breath in your body, you can learn to sit with the unpleasantness, notice where it is in your body and not play into it as much. And even let it go. Magical, right?

Well, this tool, it really helps us. And it helps us even decrease more suffering when we're already tired or feeling irritable. So in that scenario, for example, I was already feeling tired. I was already irritable because I hadn't slept well. And then, you know, my son is repetitively asking me the same question. He can't take no for an answer. And I have a choice to get further stressed in that situation, or ground myself and observe how I feel irritated or irritable. And then really breathe, let it go and realize that it's a temporary situation.

The other thing I will say is if you try all of these things, or maybe in the moment you forget, and you don't try and you end up yelling at your kid or kids, give yourself compassion, forgive yourself and realize that you're not perfect. And it's okay to not be perfect, because that's just impossible anyway, because this is the human experience and to be human is to err, to err is to be human. And as you forgive yourself, apologize to your child too. And you can say, hey, I'm sorry for yelling, I was feeling irritable, and I shouldn't have yelled and I'm sorry.

And that way they can see that you're not perfect and that they have permission to be imperfect. They have permission to be human, and much more comfortable being not perfect than we are. And maybe if we show this example our kids won't grow up to be perfectionists like we are. So try any and all these tips. Let me know how it goes.

You can find me @DoctorPrianca on Instagram. To have a streamlined process to find confidence, get clarity, make decisions and have inner peace to finally end burnout while having a positive ripple effect on your kids, book a call with me to get started on this work. PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. You can be out of exhaustion and burnout in 90 days or less. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode #58: How To Feel Less Tired Part 2

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In the second episode of this two-part series, she talks about some simple things you can do to feel less tired. Dr. Naik invites you to gain a better understanding of what you can do to mitigate exhaustion and gain your energy back. Tune in to this episode for more.

In this episode, you will learn:

Creating A Morning Routine To Help With Feeling Tired
How Being In Nature Can Mitigate Exhaustion
Practicing Good Sleep Hygiene
Ditching The Exhaustion Of Perfectionism
The Rejuvenation Of Trying New Things

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast, episode number 58. Well, hello there, everyone. Thank you so much for tuning in today. I am so happy to have you listening to my podcast right here, right now. I know your time is so precious and I'm grateful that you are listening to what I have to say. And so I wanted to actually tell you a little bit about what's going on inside my program.

One of my clients, Sarah was telling me that before we started working together, she was struggling and really struggling with work life balance, balancing everything, and feeling like she was drowning. And I know you can probably relate to this because I myself was there too before I found coaching. But after coaching with me, she really found balance in her career as a doctor and as a mom to three young children.

And with the streamlined tools that she learned in my program, she was really able to manage stress and anxiety with ease and really find peace of mind, learning to be confident in her decision making and really saying no to unnecessary projects and people pleasing, which I'm sure you can acknowledge is probably something that you're dealing with as well. So the work we are doing here inside my coaching program, overcome burnout for good, it's really not time intensive and clients like Sarah report being out of burnout and truly creating the life that they want for themselves.

So if it's possible for Sarah and my clients, it is definitely possible for you. To learn more join my free on demand masterclass to ending burnout and exhaustion and finally getting your peace of mind back. The link will be in the show notes.

So let's dive into part two of the how to be less tired series. Some simple things you can do to be less tired are engaging in a morning routine. So that can look different for everyone. If you have very minimal time, it can be as simple as savoring your morning cup of coffee, doing a quick meditation, being present and mindful when you're brushing your teeth, enjoying your shower. I know that's not really self care, because that's a necessity. But really, you can keep it very simple your morning routine.

You could also make it elaborate where you're working out or doing calisthenics, whatever makes you happy. Maybe wake up an extra five minutes early to read. But doing something like having that routine will really help you feel more energized and less exhausted. And for me, my morning routine consists of: I get up, often I savor my morning cup of coffee, I will have breakfast with my children, they take turns sitting on my lap because they're really young and I enjoy that time connecting with them. And then when they're out the door, I will either get some work done or read or meditate, and so on and so forth.

Another way to energize yourself is working out and you can keep it really simple. You can do a five minute workout, you don't have to go to the gym. If you have a peloton which you very well may you can do, let's say a 10 minute workout through the app or on your bike. You could go to bed in your gym clothes so that you wake up ready to roll or if that's gross, you could keep your gym clothes by the bed. So you just throw them on and get moving. Taking a quick walk will always kind of put a pep in your step, the faster the better, gets the endorphins going and that will really also energize you.

Another way to feel energized and less tired is to really be in nature. And that can be really simple like going to a park or if you have a little bit more time, is there a way to get to the beach, are you able to plan a vacation where you can get to nature if it's not within your reach. But being outside, enjoying the fresh air, feeling the sun on your face, if it's a sunny day, enjoying just the wind blowing on your face. It's one of the most beautiful things. For me, I love being near the ocean and the ocean wind or just the breeze and you can feel and smell the ocean air. Oh, there's nothing like it and it's so energizing.

Another really basic thing to do. It's a lot easier said than done is practicing good sleep hygiene. And that includes limiting screen time before you go to bed. Really trying to make sure you get a minimum of six to eight hours of sleep a day. You want to have some sort of relaxation routine, minimize alcohol intake, minimize caffeine intake, and really be mindful of getting a good night's sleep. Because I think that is one of the most restorative, most important elements of our mental health. It's so important to get good sleep so that our brain can get rest and we can really handle day to day and maybe even larger stresses.

When our children don't sleep they can be cranky. And really the same goes for adults. So really keep that in mind. And if that's problematic, is there a way you can catch a quick power nap or a nap at any time. And maybe that's not practical, but really figuring out how you can rearrange your schedule a bit to get good sleep on a regular basis. And that will make all the difference.

Meditating will create peace, it will help you learn how to be mindful, if you practice mindfulness meditation, and it truly is energizing, you won't feel tired.

Another way to not feel tired is to ditch perfectionism. It's exhausting, because to be human is to err, we're never going to be perfect. So we literally just have to realize that perfectionism is to our own detriment. And the sooner we can really embrace our humanness and not being perfect, the sooner we can be energized, less tired, and happy. It's very draining, trying to be perfect all the time. So honestly, don't bother.

And if you want to learn more about that book a call with me, and I can truly teach you how to really dive deeper into some of these methods. Because perfectionism is a tough one, it takes time and a little bit of effort. And eventually, you do really learn to let things go.

And letting go is yet another way we can be less tired, we can be energized by letting stuff go, stuff that doesn't matter, especially stuff that's not life or death, you really just have to let it go. Because we all know this, the to do list, it keeps on growing. It doesn't really matter. Often, in the scheme of things, everything gets done, and we're taking life too seriously. And we're exhausting ourselves and creating our own personal exhaustion and our own personal hell. So literally just practicing letting go all the time will free up so much brain space, make you feel less exhausted. So try that.

Another thing that really came to my mind when I was thinking about this episode, is trying new things. And they actually say that it's a tip, I believe maybe the Gottman Institute said this, but it is a tip in keeping your relationship fresh too is doing new things with your partner. So similarly with yourself, if you try new things, or you know, do something you've never done before, it can be really rejuvenating, and put a pep in your step and really energize you and you're gonna feel less tired.

I felt this way the other day, actually, over the weekend, I felt a little bit tired in the morning, and my kids and I went outside and I played music and I was blowing bubbles. And honestly, I enjoyed blowing bubbles way more than they did. I think they got bored. And that's when they started playing with boxes. And you know, using their imagination which is cute. But I continued to blow the bubbles. But it's just something I don't do every day, I don't blow bubbles every day. And there's something really whimsical and cute about that. And it's really easy to do. And that definitely made me happy and gave me a little bit of energy.

One other practice that will help you feel less tired, be more happy. And this is a proven method, it gets talked about a lot. Hopefully this isn't the first time you've heard this. But gratitude practice is so important. And we really have to brainstorm a few things everyday that we're grateful for and how they make us happy. Because if we do that, we really can see things a little bit more glass half full and have a happier perspective. But also when you feel that way and you're grateful for the things in your life, that is energizing, and it's not draining to think about how beautiful your life might be.

And so I even do this with my five year old son, we've been doing it since he was two and a half. And actually, my baby is two and a few months. And I'm starting to do it with her also, because I think it's just really a great habit for them to celebrate their lives instead of focusing on the negative, which is something that we all do as humans, because it's a survival mechanism. And now that we're not foraging in the forest anymore, it's not as useful. So we often just tend to be more negative, and that can lead to depression, anxiety, being exhausted. And so practicing gratitude is a simple and effective way to boost happiness, increase energy and decrease that feeling of exhaustion.

Now the last thing I'm going to mention is a little bit more complicated of a way to be less tired. So listen up. You make a list of things that drain your energy. So energy draining things. If you don't even know what I'm talking about, it's the things that deplete you. Maybe there's somebody who is always complaining, they're never happy, and you're talking to them all the time, does that drain you? Do you need to limit that amount of time so that it's no longer draining you? But if you can't even think of what is draining my energy, which hopefully you can think of a list of things, but if you don't know, take some time to actually assess this.

And if you don't have time, take some time to yourself. Take a little bit of time off work, even take a half day off, I'm serious and take some time because it's really easy to live your life on autopilot if you're not taking time and space for yourself. So just a little bit of time, like kid free time, work free time, can create so much clarity. You just let it in and see what comes up. And you might be able to figure out at that point, what is getting in your way, what is draining you. So once you make that list, go through each thing, and ask yourself if it is actually draining, or is it the way you think about it?

So is the actual circumstance, is it draining? Or is it just how you are approaching it, how you think about it in your mind. If it truly is draining, figure out how you can reduce it in your life, or remove it in your life, or change the circumstance. But if it's the way you think about it, then acknowledge that you're thinking about it in a certain way. And maybe that's not helping you. Right? So awareness is the first step in this work. Once you're aware, then you get to decide to see things differently. So that's actually a little bit more complex than the previous items on this list of how to be less tired, be less exhausted and more energized. But this definitely works.

And if you need some help hop on a call with me. PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me where we can chat more, and I would love to talk to you and really help you get out of burnout be no longer exhausted. Create your best life the life of your dreams because it is possible for you just like it has been for my clients and me. PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. Book a consultation call. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode #57: How To Feel Less Tired Part 1

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In the first episode of this two-part series, she discusses several methods that can help you feel less exhausted and burnt out. Dr. Naik invites you to understand more about the ways in which you can feel less fatigued through simple habits you can implement today. Tune in to this episode to learn more.

In this episode, you will learn:

Creating Joy To Combat Exhaustion
How Freedom Can Mitigate Feeling Burnt Out
How You Can Re-Incorporate Joy Into Your Life
Why People Pleasing Infringes Upon Your Freedom
The Formula To Creating Freedom And Joy

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the Empowering Working Moms podcast, episode number 57. Hello there! Happy summer, it is still summer. Thank you so much for tuning in today, I'm so happy to have you listening.

I myself have been really building a new chapter in my life. And I have joined this entrepreneurial group that I'm so thrilled about so many imaginative, wonderful ideas, and I love the energy. And it's really great to surround ourselves with like minded people.

So actually, funnily enough, I was talking to one of my clients earlier this week, and she was telling me that she was able to harness her voice, because when she came to me, she felt unheard.

And through coaching, she discovered her own ability to speak up for herself and started doing that. And with that, she was able to actually cultivate the work schedule that she wanted. And she actually told me that she did not think this was possible in the beginning, before she really started her work with me, and the ability to harness her voice.

She told me that she's been able to have more honest and open conversations with her husband and create smaller ways to connect with her kids that have such a meaningful impact, and really learning to manage her time, to invest it well with her kids.

And before we started, you know, with her work schedule, she called it a quote, unquote, a fantasy to have a different work schedule. And she had no idea that would even be possible. Like she really thought to herself, it was a dream, and there was no way to do it. But through coaching with me, she created exactly that.

And we get to create the life that we desire, very, very far from exhaustion and burnout. And this is my client Nibi, who is a physician, she has two small kids. And if it's possible for her, it is possible for you, the work we are doing inside my coaching program is not really time intensive and clients like Nibi report being out of burnout and really creating the life they want. So if she can do it, I could do, it my clients could do it, so could you. To learn more join my free on demand masterclass four steps to ending burnout and exhaustion, and finally, get your peace of mind back, the link will be in the show notes.

So today I'm going to talk about how to be less tired. And actually, I'm creating a two part series and this is part one. So one of the ways to be less exhausted, be less tired, is to create joy, and to create freedom. And when you do this, you will find yourself so energized and happy that feeling tired, feeling burnt out is a shadow, right? Like you will not have those feelings anymore.

So not having fun, I think is an epidemic that affects so many people in my age group who have small kids. They're really caught up in the grind, with very little play, and so, so much work. And I've talked about this before that really when we die, we're not going to remember the work that we did, but we're going to remember the memories we created, the time we spent with loved ones and cherish those and the fun that we had.

So being in the grind, it's not something that we have to do, it's a choice. And I've definitely talked about this in prior episodes that we do get to choose our life. And when we feel bogged down from this not having fun, we feel a complete lack of freedom.

A lot of people in fact feel stuck, which is not a fun place to be. And feeling this way is really tiring. And it can be boring, and it's definitely not energizing. So if we learn to solve this problem, we can create more joy and freedom, voila our lives are instantly better.

So when was the last time that you felt joy and freedom? I want you to take a second to really reflect upon that. Reflecting on these matters is really crucial and critical in transforming our lives. Otherwise, we're just living in survival mode and one day bleeds to the next. And you know, you just feel like it's Groundhog Day and you're doing the same thing again and again. And there's no fun in that, right. So really think about that last time, most recent time that you felt freedom and joy and pause if you need to.

Something that adds to this feeling of stuckness is that marriage or being a mother, it can feel like it impinges on our freedom. But there is a happy medium of cultivating freedom and being able to have that same life, that same married life or the life of being a parent.

I want you to ask yourself the following question. What are the top three things that brought you the most joy in college or in your 20s or 30s, when you were younger. I would pause and really write this down or listen to this maybe when you're not driving, or maybe brainstorm out loud. But three things that brought you the most joy in college or in your 20s and 30s.

Now, once you figure out what those three things are, create a plan to incorporate one or more of them in the next month. Yes, the next 30 days, you get to create a plan. And then next thing, you know, one step at a time you're taking action. And that is how your life is different and it's better.

Another question I want you to think about is, what are some things or hobbies, or travel that you'd like to pursue that you haven't since you became a mom? And I know for me, I know I went to Coachella, before I got pregnant with my first son and I was so glad I did that because I had been wanting to go. And I recently also have been planning another adventure that has been on my bucket list for a while.

So what is something that has been on your bucket list or something that you really wanted to do, but then quote unquote, life got in the way, work, being a mom. And if you can figure out what that is, create a plan, take one step forward. To make that happen. Just pick one out of how many ever things on the list that you come up with.

Another way to create freedom is to really make decisions in alignment with what you want, with who you want to be, and what your values are. And along with that, stop people pleasing.

People pleasing is something that so many of us are conditioned to do from a really young age to please our teachers, please our parents, and it really gets us in a mode of living for other people.

And in South Asian families, I know and I'll make the generalization because I grew up this way, you are given somewhat of a path and you just follow it and you don't really well, depending on your personality, you may not question it. And then next thing you know, your life is wherever it is. And maybe it's not in alignment with what you actually want. And as women who have achieved so much, we do have the privilege of reflecting, evaluating if our life is currently in integrity with who we are or want to be.

And when it comes to people pleasing, you may not even realize this, but people pleasing is so draining, it's draining to do things that don't feel good for us, even if they feel good for other people, or if they're not in alignment with the life that we want. And this kind of behavior, the people pleasing behavior or living for others, it can make you so tired, and you probably don't even realize you're doing it.

So think about a time recently, when you did something that didn't align with who you believe you are, who you want to be, and you maybe did it to control someone else's opinion of you, or you did it because you felt like it was the right thing to do for them. Really think about that.

And in fact, I would take the time to make a list of at least five things that you did that were people pleasing, and then reflect on how that made you feel. And if it depleted you or maybe that is why you felt so tired this week that you were doing things that you really didn't want to do. So now that you know this, you can realize and be cognizant of when you are people pleasing, and then you get to start practicing not people pleasing.

Another way to create freedom or create joy is to make things happen that we think we can't. So a great way of identifying this is to think about when you feel envious of what someone else has. Maybe they have this amazing friendship with somebody, maybe they're always taking trips, maybe they just seem really happy. So reflect on what thing that is that you envy or what way of life do you envy.

And then you get to decide one thing out of that list, if there's more than one, one thing that you could make happen. Let's say you envy a trip, or maybe someone took a trip to the beach. Now, if you feel like a trip to the beach isn't in your budget, is there a way to create a more budget conscious way of going to the beach or pick something on that list that you could do within the next 30 days practically.

So once you figure that out, start creating a plan to get that in your life and that way you start seeing how much power you have to actually create the life that you want. I know you might think you're stuck but you actually are not. You get to unstick yourself at any time.

And if you reflect on all the things I've talked about today, and you say to yourself, I cannot create more of what I want more freedom, more joy, realize that that is actually a limiting belief. And if you don't know what a limiting belief is, a limiting belief is a thought that you really think is the absolute truth. In fact, it really may not be and it stops you from doing certain things. And it doesn't even have to be about the way you see yourself. It could be about how the world works, ideas or anything else. And these limiting beliefs are actually not true.

Everything truly is a choice. And the sooner that we own that, the sooner that we can create the life that we want for ourselves and the sooner that we can be less tired and feel freedom and joy. If you can take away from the episode that the world is truly your oyster, you get to create what you want in your life by (1) figuring it out (2) making a plan (3) taking action. This is the formula that will bring you freedom and joy and will most certainly have you feeling less tired and way more energized.

So get to it. Let me know how it goes. One small step at a time and the next thing you know, complete transformation. To have a streamlined process to end burnout and exhaustion in 90 days or less that will work faster than therapy, a peloton, yoga, self help books, book a call with me to get started on this important work. PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. And this work will have a ripple effect on all of those around you that you care about and it is so beautiful. You can't afford to miss out on this work. Let's talk, PriancaNaikMDcoaching.as.me. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

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Episode #56: Tips For Reducing Stress and Burnout For Working Moms

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this episode, she provides tips to help you reduce stress and burnout that can pave the way for living the life you deserve. Dr. Naik invites you to learn about how to mitigate harmful stress and make it less powerful in order to truly be present and enjoy your life. Tune in to this episode for more on this topic.

In this episode, you will learn:

Benefits of Stress
Negative Effects of Too Much Stress
Tips on Mitigating Stress
Combatting Stress With Exercise
Focusing on Your Breathing
How Nature Can Reduce Stress

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION:]

You're listening to the empowering working moms podcast episode number 56. Hello there friends. Thank you so much for tuning in today. And if you're listening to this podcast and you listen every week, I thank you so much for being here. And if you're new to this podcast, welcome, welcome. I'm thrilled that you're listening.

And if you are listening, I'm guessing that you're like me, you're high achieving, you're type A, but I'm not exhausted. Maybe you are, though, maybe you're struggling with exhaustion and burnout. And you've done everything right, you've checked all the boxes of success, you've gone to a good school, maybe you've gotten your graduate degree, perhaps you're in a high power job, and yet you still find yourself unhappy, but you don't have to feel exhausted anymore. Imagine a life with no more burnout, but you have more confidence, more peace of mind, enjoying the life that you've worked so hard for, because you deserve to and that is possible for you because it has been for my clients and me.

With a little bit of work in 90 days or less you can be out of burnout and enjoying your life again, check out my free masterclass, four steps to overcoming burnout, getting rid of overwhelm, and finally getting your peace of mind back, I will put the link in the show notes.

Today I'm going to talk about something that I know that we all deal with. And that is stress, managing stress. Now stress is really something that we feel, right? And it can be based off circumstances, though the stressful circumstances, lets say don't really dictate how we feel. We get to decide. And when we find ourselves feeling more stressed out than other times, we can take action and take steps to mitigate the stress, to make the stress less powerful, and to really be present and enjoy our lives.

Now, before I get into my tips, I want to talk about how stress can actually be helpful, right? It can be a motivator, it can make you more productive, it can create more focus, it can help one perform under pressure. And for you doctors out there, I know you can relate to this, that a little bit of stress and pressure when you were taking the MCAT or taking any of your boards, it's necessary and helpful and good, right? Because without that you don't have that fight or flight mode going on. For example, I remember I would never really sleep well before big exams, because I would be you know tense. And my fight or flight mode will just take over and help me perform on the exam.

But too much stress and feeling stress can be bad, and it will release stress hormones in your body. And what this can do is disrupt sleep, it can make us feel tired, it can make us susceptible to illnesses, weakening our immune systems. And we get into that sympathetic fight or flight mode, where stress hormones like cortisol are released, our heart beats faster, this suppresses our immune system, it may slow down or speed up our digestion.

And the main problem here is that you may end up feeling depleted, and you're going to be depleted when you're interacting with others. Either at work or in your relationships or with your children. You may not have the patience that you want to have, you may find yourself yelling at your kids more than usual, you'll find yourself not having the energy that you want to devote to what matters. So you may want to be present with your kids, but you're too exhausted and stressed to really do anything. And that's not good, right?

So what can we do when stressful times arise? One thing we can do is to exercise and this is because it boosts endorphins and can boost our mood. And it's a really great way to get that angst out. It can be anything as simple as running up your stairs a few times, maybe for five minutes, taking a walk or a regular workout. If you work out regularly, try not to skip it when you're feeling stressed. I'll tell you something that recently actually, as we speak, I have injured my back very badly. And I definitely cannot exercise until it heals. And I noticed that my mood is not as happy as it usually is because I'm depriving myself of the exercise, but I know that it will pass. So anything you can do to get your body moving is always helpful when you're feeling stress.

Another tip is really focusing on your breath. And it's so interesting because we breathe all the time. We don't even know it. But if we can become conscious of our breath, if we can take long, deep breaths, counting to seven or eight as we inhale, and then seven or eight as we exhale for about 10 breaths. It really will help to center yourself and you will realize that you can get out of your head by focusing on your breath. That's why it's such a powerful tool to really practice mindfulness and notice your breath and it functions as an anchor to get yourself out of the swirling thoughts that can happen when you're feeling stressed or anxious.

Something else that's helpful when you're feeling stressed are in general, just for a boost is to get out in nature. Either go for a walk, get some fresh air, be near water, be it a pond or a lake, whatever, any of those. If you're in front of the ocean, if you can make it or you have access to any body of water that is natural, that is really helpful in just boosting your mood and will help de stress you.

Something else you can do is creating some semblance of time for yourself. And this can be really something small, like savoring your morning cup of coffee. That is what I do. My morning ritual is really important to me, and I just need 10 minutes to enjoy my coffee. And this helps me get my day started off on the right foot. So just any ritual you might be able to do for yourself that's small, that is helpful in destressing. If you've got a little bit more time, you can do all kinds of things like adult coloring books, or a project or sewing or puzzles or any of that. And if time is not easy for you to find, then I would suggest doing a five minute activity that really will help you decompress a little bit, even like the coffee or maybe a tea at night.

Also, you can try to do something longer for yourself, as in, call a friend, hang out with a friend. Or you can enjoy some time alone, be it taking yourself out for a meal, or maybe coming home, let's say a half hour late to just have some breathing time and space for yourself. Because when you restore yourself, you're able to really be more present, be more patient, once you get home, and you will find yourself yelling less or maybe getting into less arguments with your partner. And that's always good.

Something else you can do when you're feeling stressed, you can cry it out. And I have found when I'm really going through a bad or tough tough time, I have certain songs that will help me cry. So I will sit there and I could, let's say cry it out for 10 minutes, five minutes. And it's a really great cathartic release. And it gets out some of the negative emotions, the angst and it's helpful, you could call a friend and cry it out. So often we are conditioned to believe that it's bad to cry, or that we shouldn't cry or that crying makes us look weak that a lot of times people really run away from it. And I believe it's something that we can embrace, at the appropriate time when we can cry in private, or in our car or in your room or with a friend right, as I said, and really just get that release of emotion. And that really is helpful when you're feeling stressed.

Another thing you can do, instead of crying it out, you can dance it out, because dancing is always fun, good music, dancing. It's something you can do with your kids, I do it all the time in the kitchen. And it really does help de stress me and probably my kids too, and it's really a way to get a little bit of exercise as well and boost those endorphins. It's an awesome, fun thing to do. And I highly recommend it when you're stressed or even just in general.

The other thing to keep in mind when you're feeling stressed or things are not going well is the mantra "This too shall pass." And I really keep this in mind and remember this all the time when things seem stressful, or when I'm spinning out about something. Even with this back injury that I'm still nursing, I keep reminding myself that I will heal, it's going to pass, I will get back to my exercise, the pain is going to get better. And this isn't permanent.

And the idea that nothing is permanent, can be so comforting, right? So that's just something to keep in mind when you are suffering or struggling or things seem tough or you have a tough situation. Remember that it will not last forever, it will be transient. And if you have a hard time conceptualizing that, think of a rough time that you've had in the past and how that for example, that situation is probably resolved. And it did not last forever, the problem, right?

Another way to deal with stress is to really be mindful of how you spend your time, and what kind of projects you take on what you say yes to. So learning to say no to things that don't necessarily align with your priorities or that you don't want to do and not taking on more projects because if you're already stressed and struggling, that is not the time to be putting yourself out for other people let's say or giving more time and energy because you're already overextended.

So just be mindful when you are going through a stressful time, really think about how you're spending your time and energy. And as you figure out how you're spending your time and energy, as you're mindful, really think about what your thoughts are surrounding the stressful event. And are they really true? And is it just a story that you might be telling yourself? And what are the ways in which you can control your thoughts or your feelings or the situation? And really focus on that instead of thinking about everything that's not in your control.

And finally, when you're feeling stressed, and it's totally overwhelming, get some help. Outsource things that maybe you normally don't outsource, ask a friend for help or seek professional help, be it with a therapist, a doctor or a life coach. Sometimes we need some external eyes, ears, help with what we're doing just to streamline getting out of that bad place to streamline the process. Instead of trying to claw our way out of a hard time through self help books or yoga and those kinds of things and sometimes they don't work and we really need someone else to help us truly heal from where we are.

And if you want to get started and put work into healing your exhaustion and burnout from the inside out, please get in touch with me I would love to talk to you book a call Prianca Naik MD coaching that as stop me to get started on this powerful work, to be out of exhaustion and truly into a much much better life. In fact, your best life, but if you don't believe me, book a call with me and we will get you a roadmap to be out of burnout. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

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Welcome to the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! Join Dr. Prianca as she uncovers the secrets to creating a balanced and fulfilling life for high-achieving moms. With a focus on overcoming exhaustion and burnout, Dr. Prianca offers strategies to thrive in both personal and professional spheres. Discover the truth about work-life balance and how aligning your career with your life's purpose can bring true joy and fulfillment. Gain insights into prioritizing values, leaving a meaningful legacy, and finding success on your own terms.

In this episode, you will learn:

Creating Quality Connections with Family and Friends
Balancing Work and Parenthood: Making Every Moment Count
Prioritizing Values: Aligning Actions with What Truly Matters
Saying No and Asking for What You Want at Work
Cultivating Balance at Home: Letting Go of Perfectionism and Embracing Help
And so much more!

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, Join Overcome Burnout For Good to end burnout and get your peace of mind back in 90 days or less

www.program.stresscleansemd.com/workwithme

To get started on banishing burnout and find peace and joy every day, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to ending burnout, getting rid of exhaustion and getting your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

If you’re listening to this podcast, you’re probably a high-achieving type A mother and you’re exhausted. Maybe struggling with exhaustion and burnout.

You have checked all the boxes of success and aren’t happy.
You don’t have to feel exhausted anymore. Imagine a life with no more burnout, more confidence more peace of mind.
That is possible for you because it has been for me and my clients.

With a little work, in 90 days or less, you can be out of burnout and enjoying your life again. Check out my free on demand masterclass 4 Steps to Overcome Burnout, Get Rid of Overwhelm, and Finally Get Your Peace of Mind Back.

What is work-life balance giving enough at work and home

But the question re your career-does it align with your life’s purpose
How important is it really beyond income?
Do you love your job?

When your life is at the end…what will you reflect upon?

Then list your top 3 priorities in the context of what truly matters and asking yourself what will matter when you die is a grim but quick way to figure it out.

For me my top priority is my kids and I know that they won’t want to hang out with me eventually…so though I do spend a lot of time working, I make my time with them count.

Instead of splitting your time to have more balance, how about prioritizing your values and then taking action accordingly

For example, if you want more time with your kids focus on putting your phone down and away and being with them.
Create small 1-1 time with each kid
Make wake up and bed time count

How to feel work-life balance

More balance at work
-saying no to projects
-asking for what you want (examples Tina and Nidhi)

More balance at home
-outsource
-take help when it is offered
-if there are things that don’t bring you joy consider prioritizing getting rid of them off your plate
-get your kids to help
-ask yourself how important the to do list and chores really are…bc we take our lvies too seriously, being able to not spend a ton of time and energy on these matters is key in cultivating inner peace and balance
-time with kids and partner-schedule in
-do activities that you enjoy too that way it doesn’t feel like a chore

Cultivate balance at any given moment
-balance center self with deep breaths
-close your eyes and turn inward
-exercise
-stop drop take a moment
-assess what that means for you
-reflect weekly
-practice boundaries (ep 22)

We over give and that can be okay at times, but not doing that 24/7 and remembering to look out for ourselves.

To get started and put in the work to heal your exhaustion and burnout form the inside out, book a call with me priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to get started.

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Episode #54: Self-love to End Exhaustion

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! For this episode, she focuses on the concept of self-love. Self-love is incredibly important for achieving clarity and finding inner peace, which can help mitigate exhaustion and burnout. Dr. Naik invites you to learn about how practicing self-love can change your life for the better. Tune in to this episode for more on this important topic.

In this episode, you will learn: * Benefits of Loving Yourself * Modeling Self-Love For Your Kids * Dangers Of Not Practicing Self-Love * Teaching Others How To Treat You * Putting Yourself First

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION]:

You're listening to the empowering working moms Podcast, episode number 54. Hi, how are you? I hope you're doing great today. I'm so thrilled you are here with me listening to this podcast episode I bring you today. I actually just got back from, well the last episode I talked about that my 40th birthday was coming up, and it was wonderful and I am still really pumped to be 40. I am singing it loud and proud. But I will tell you that nobody talks about or maybe they do the unfun part of being 40, which I experienced this morning, during which I went for my screening mammogram. It's really actually not as bad as I thought it was going to be and not as painful. But I think everybody has a different pain threshold. Definitely not a really cool part of being 40. But it has to be done. So if you are listening, and you're 40 and up and you haven't had a mammogram in the past year, this is my plug for you, get it done, it's so much better to prevent, right preventive care is so critical in maintaining our physical health. But now we're going to dive into our mental health and I'm guessing that you're a high achieving type A mom, you're tired, you've probably tried all the things, self help books, therapy, yoga, I've been there, but you're finding yourself probably exhausted, not wanting to face the day, maybe mindlessly scrolling on your phone or over Netflixing just to get a break, only to feel more exhausted and on the verge of burnout. But there is hope and a streamlined way to get you out of that place and in to peace and joy every single day in 90 days or less is there.
Book a call with me to learn more about Overcome Burnout For Good, my foundational coaching program for professional moms. I have easy, fun, implementable modern tips to get you into your best life. Even if you feel that's impossible. I know a lot of my clients probably felt that way. And after working with me, they report having better relationships, more presence with their kids, really cutting themselves slack and finding so much more resilience in the day to day upsets that come up because it's always something, right. Today, I'm going to dive into a really important topic that gets thrown around a lot in self development circles, and that is the concept of self love. Self love is so important because it creates clarity. It creates clarity, when maybe there is some confusion. And when you get that clarity, you're going to find inner peace. And isn't that what we all want? Inner peace is the key to ending exhaustion, and burnout. When we work on various factors to cultivate inner peace, we can always center ourselves. When shit comes up, shit hits the fan, we can learn to cultivate it, and it's the tool that we all need. And this helps because we can be peaceful instead of feeling scattered or anxious. Many of my clients actually come to me not only exhausted and on the verge of burnout, but also often dissatisfied in their marriages, maybe fighting a lot with their partners. And the first thing I say to them, when it comes to relationships with others is to truly focus on themselves. And that's where the self love comes in. Right? We must focus on doing the work on ourselves first. That's the work that no one wants to do. Because it is harder to look within, and easier to actually look outside of ourselves, blame other people for our problems than to look within. But once we begin to focus on ourselves, we can begin practicing loving ourselves. And I teach my clients how to do exactly this. Because it is a key to unlocking a life filled with peace and joy. Sounds pretty good, doesn't it? A life with peace and joy. I'm telling you that I love my life so much no matter what stuff happens. And I have the same day to day stressors you have. I've got my own problems, right, we all have problems in various flavors. I have some serious, stressful things hanging over my head, often actually. But I have learned to really use my tools. And it really helps me have peace of mind in so many moments when before my own processes, before coaching, I would have been miserable and spinning out and so unhappy. But I say this because all of this is teachable. I can teach it but it's learnable for you. So a life of peace, a life of enjoyment, enjoying the life that you've worked so hard for, it is possible for you even if you don't think so.
Trust me, because my clients, they've been in the same position and they leave coaching with me realizing there's a world of possibilities to create their dream life, but also just enjoying the life right now that they have. So let me get into the benefits of loving yourself because you might be thinking, what is she talking about? Self love, that's not something I think about, right? But when you love yourself, you can truly treat yourself with love and kindness. And often we are the cruelest and meanest to ourselves. And it's really sad. And we have inner negative voices that talk down to us. And just being aware of those voices, and learning to quiet them down, but also approach ourselves with grace, compassion, and some gentleness. The more we do that, the more we can actually be kind to others, and be gentle with others, and be gentle with, let's say, our children. So some of the benefits of loving yourself, here they are. One is making decisions more clearly. Meaning, when you have something that you're confused about, you're back and forth about something, what should I do, spinning in confusion. Loving yourself makes things and it makes the decisions that are looming much clearer. For example, one of my clients, she was in an abusive relationship, and it was really hard for her to see clearly, see straight, and she was so married to the idea of being married, that she would make excuses for her husband at the time who was abusing her. And as we did the work, she had an epiphany one day after he threw his phone in her face. And he said it was an accident. And he somewhat denied it. But he did. She asked herself a very important question, what would I do if I loved myself? Would I keep putting myself in harm's way? And as she took some time to ponder that question and come up with an answer, she knew the answer. She knew that if she loved herself, if she loved herself, because she wasn't quite there yet, that she would leave, and she would stop putting herself in harm's way. And she did end up moving out about a month after that question, when for a long time, she had just been spinning her wheels, confused, not knowing what to do. And about, I believe, a year later, after that she was in such a great place, having her peace and freedom, day to day freedom and joy, and truly living her best life. Another benefit of loving yourself is the benefit that it will have for your kids. So you're modeling self love, right? Kids naturally love themselves. But if they see you modeling it, they can continue to practice it as they grow up. Because often they lose that self love That self love that I see my own young children practice, they love themselves so much, and they love the reflection in the mirror, as they should. And when I think about myself, somewhere along the line, I stopped loving myself, and I don't know when it was. And of course, I've taught myself in my adult years to rekindle my love for myself. But unconditional love, right? Self love is so important. Because if our children don't have that, they're going to look outside of themselves, which really leads to people pleasing, which I've talked about before. And that's an automatic way to be dissatisfied. And we don't want that, right. If we can really center ourselves, loving ourselves and see ourselves in a loving light, then it really grounds us and centers us. And when we do that, we actually waste a lot less time because as I said before, it makes decisions clearer, right? So the clearer decisions are, we're not wasting time spinning in confusion. And also if we're not people pleasing and trying to do things that we don't want to do, we're wasting less energy on that. And all these things together lead to feeling more energized and much less exhausted. Another benefit of loving yourself is teaching people how you want to be treated, even if it is uncomfortable. Now this happened to me very recently, and it was an awkward moment for me but discomfort is often the currency to a much better life and your dreams and all that. So there's kind of a running joke in my group of friends that you know, I'm very straightforward. I cut to the chase. I'm not like big on pleasantries and niceties. That's not to say that I'm not a kind person because I am and if you're in my friends and family, then you know that I have your back and I'll be there for you.
But that being said, we were in a group setting, I said something to the waiter, and then they were making fun of me. And that joke was getting old for me. So I found myself feeling triggered. And I sat with it for a little bit, I practiced my own centering exercises, I focused on my breath, I practiced mindfulness techniques right then and there. I even stepped away from the group for a little bit just to get some space and time to reflect on how I wanted to respond. And what I decided was the right thing for me to do in integrity with who I am, because honesty is one of my values and authenticity, that I needed to express myself. So I expressed that I didn't receive the joke well, and that I thought it was unkind and it hurt my feelings. And that a safe space is very important to me. And I said, this is supposed to be a safe space. And the older I get, the more important that is. And so I felt like this is isn't a safe space in that moment. Pretty much everybody was quiet. And everyone who was there is a long standing friend of mine, or I've had a long standing relationship with so I don't have to feel insecure or be worried that they're going to abandon me over me saying that, right? But they all listen. And most of them were quiet. And then one person actually said, "Hey, I'm sorry, it wasn't meant that way, you know, I would never intentionally hurt you." And I said, "Okay, thank you, I appreciate it." And that was that. And then, you know, it was done. And I felt whole, after expressing myself, I felt at peace. And it came from a place of loving myself that I need to model loving myself. And if that means that I'm telling someone, hey, this is how I want to be treated because I love myself, right? Though that situation was uncomfortable at that moment, it's really made all the difference in my life. And I really feel at peace, because I know I'm being true to myself, my values, and who I am. So, again, I was saying before that the reason I bring this up is because it is critical in laying the groundwork for how you want others to treat you. Because often we sit there and we get mad, we say oh, so and so saying this, that's not fair. Why are they doing it to me. And in the same vein as Episode 53, where I talk about not being a victim anymore, we can empower ourselves to speak up, find our voice, and let people know how we want to be treated. And that way, we don't have to blame anybody else except ourselves. And then if you find that somebody is treating you badly, it's up to you to decide whether you want to stay or whether you don't want to. But really the question of what would I do if I love myself is so powerful, because you can use it in so many instances. Try it when you're having confusion, and you don't know how to behave or what to do. Another benefit of loving yourself is becoming happier because you no longer put yourself last, how often can you think of, in the past week, when have you put yourself last? Right? We tend to put ourselves last. The other day, I actually, well, after turning 40 I decided I wanted to regroup and figure out my priorities, reprioritize. So the first priority I set was my children, then my coaching business, and then being a doctor. But I realized I forgot myself. And so in the spirit of self love, caring for myself, making sure that my needs are met is actually number one. Because without doing that, without keeping myself grounded, learning to have peace and joy within myself, I can't give my all to other people. That includes my children. So one is loving myself, right, and prioritizing myself. And then immediately after that is prioritizing my children. However, I will say, with my children, I often will ask what is best for them, regardless of what I think. That's a little bit different from self love, but as a parent, it's our job, right, to look out for them. So I often do prioritize their needs over mine, in instances where maybe it's not the best thing for me, but it's the best thing for them. And also, if we model to our children, right, that we're happier, that's all the better for them. And they're going to grow up in a happier, more, you know, fun atmosphere as we love ourselves and it bleeds on to them. Another benefit of loving yourself is feeling centered and grounded. So this really was true for me and that story that I told you where I spoke up to my friends, I just felt very grounded when I could be true to myself. So another example of this is when I chose to pursue life coaching, and for me that was really hard because being a doctor, a medical doctor, is so much a part of my identity and something
I'm so proud of, and life coaching just seemed at the time, to be really honest, it's like the label wasn't good enough for me. And at the same time, I learned that doing this work lights me up so much, and I am so moved when my clients have their victories and transformations, and I'm making the impact on the world that I truly want to make. So I had to choose myself, choose life coaching, regardless of what other people thought. And that is another example of loving myself and being true to myself. Now I'm gonna give you a quick client example of self love, or really self focus, too. But my client Samar, who's an OBGYN, she has three small children, she actually said that, when she began coaching with me, she began to improve her relationship with herself, learning to love herself, focusing on herself. So as she did the work on herself, her relationship with her husband was better. And when I asked her, What would she tell others in her position who are suffering from exhaustion, like she was, she literally said, book the call, you know, take the plunge, whether it's a group or individual coaching, just go for it, invest in yourself, invest in the work, I thought about doing coaching for probably a good year before I started working with Prianca, and that was sad, but it's okay because it's all a process. So when I think about that, right, the work can start today, the work can start now. Listening to this podcast episode today, you can think about some of the practices that I talked about, the examples and apply them to your own life, you will see that you can learn to do this. And eventually, we can fake it till we make it, and it really does become second nature. And I am a true testament to this. Because I honestly was so anxious, especially right after having my son, and obsessive, and I was not in a good place. But after doing this work, I have really transformed my life into one that I love so, so much and I'm so proud of and I don't waste my time, people pleasing and all the things that are happiness sucks. And here I am. So if I can do it, and my clients can do it, so can you. Self love, probably, right, for all of us as children, it was an automatic but it's not anymore. Learning to practice self love is one major pillar in unlocking a life filled with peace, joy, more meaningful relationships filled with purpose, with no more self sacrifice. Think about loving yourself and making decisions with that in mind. And if you want to have the specific roadmap to ending exhaustion, ending burnout in 90 days or less, book a call with me to get started. I would love to talk to you, see where you are, and if you're a good fit for my coaching program. www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me. Thank you so much for tuning in, and I will talk to you next week.

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Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! For this episode, she shares her journey of growth and resilience. She would like to inspire women to embrace aging, appreciate their accomplishments, and overcome societal expectations. Discover the power of self-compassion and learn how to let go of a victim mentality to empower yourself. Dr. Naik invites you to book a call with her coaching service to find peace, joy, and renewed energy in your life. Tune in and embrace your own journey of empowerment.

In this episode, you will learn:

The Power of Choice
Letting Go of Victimhood
Embracing Life's Challenges
Cultivating Inner Peace
Messages from the Universe
And so much more!

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, Join Overcome Burnout For Good to end burnout and get your peace of mind back in 90 days or less

www.program.stresscleansemd.com/workwithme

To get started on banishing burnout and find peace and joy every day, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to ending burnout, getting rid of exhaustion and getting your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

If you’re listening to this podcast, you’re probably a high-achieving type A mother and exhausted. Maybe struggling with exhaustion and burnout.

You have checked all the boxes of success and aren’t happy.
You don’t have to feel exhausted anymore. Imagine a life with no more burnout, more confidence, and more peace of mind.
That is possible because it has been for me and my clients.

With some work, in 90 days or less, you can be out of burnout and enjoying your life again. Check out my free on-demand masterclass, 4 Steps to Overcome Burnout, Get Rid of Overwhelm, and Finally Get Your Peace of Mind Back.

I want to talk today about something that is a magic pill for inner peace and strength…which we know are effective antidotes to exhaustion and burnout.

And that is getting out of victim mode and mentality. We choose everything. It is a choice to work whatever job you’re working…even if you feel like you need to for money. You decide every day to get up and go to work.

It is a choice to be with your partner if you’re in a marriage or partnership. You choose to be there, and you can always choose to end it.

You chose to have children.

This may be abrasive, or maybe you do not like what I’m saying, and that’s too bad. The sooner we realize everything is a choice, the sooner we know we aren’t victims.

I’ve had malignant romantic relationships in the past. Where the person has lied to me or hidden things from me…they did me dirty. But the truth is that I chose to be there. I decided to be with those people even though my instinct told me otherwise. So even though I could victimize myself, I won’t because it’s more empowering not to, and it gives me more peace of mind.

You see, our life experience is determined by the lens we put on it. I choose to place an empowered lens on things, and that’s how I cultivate inner peace and joy daily.

I choose happiness. I choose peace, and I have even chosen peace when there has been chaos. This is why I’m so passionate about this work. Because all of my practices are teachable, and that is what I do inside my foundational coaching program for professional moms to be out of burnout and exhaustion for good in 90 days or less. I’m talking about the doctors, lawyers, and executive moms who have tried therapy, self-help books, or meditation with no or minimal success. I will talk about how to join my program at the end of this episode.

The sooner we empower ourselves, the faster we get what we want…, the faster we make our visions a reality, and the happier we are.

So why not do that? Why not choose how you’re going to see things?

I challenge you to think of a tough time in your life. What was happening? How did you feel? Where do you think that in your body?

Now as you sit with that feeling…think about how that event brought you to where you are today. How it served you in some way?

I will tell you that some of the darkest and most challenging parts of my journey, things I don’t necessarily share because they are dark and private so far, have been what got me so deep into this work. In extremely tough circumstances, I could maintain my inner peace and joy. I knew I could teach others.

And so much of it starts with awareness and empowerment.

So today, we touch upon empowering ourselves and no longer being victims in our circumstances.

Every time something goes wrong, think of how it serves you.

What would the message be if the universe or a higher power were trying to give you a message?

If you have something in your life you don’t like, really take time to think about how you created it…because somehow, somewhere, you did.

In more woo-woo spiritual circles, we are believed to pick our parents too. So even there, we are empowered….

As you progress, try one of the things I discussed today and see how you start feeling. You will shift. I promise.

To get started and put in the work to heal your exhaustion and burnout from the inside out, book a call with me, priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to get started.

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Episode #52: Accept Help to End Burnout

Join Dr. Prianca Naik on the Empowering Working Moms Podcast as she explores the challenges faced by high-achieving moms and offers practical strategies for embracing help, creating boundaries, and reclaiming joy in daily life. Discover how accepting assistance, outsourcing tasks, and building a supportive village can lead to transformation and overcome burnout in 90 days or less. Tune in for insights, real-life examples, and actionable steps towards a more fulfilling and balanced life.

In this episode, you will learn:

Overcoming the Barriers: Letting Go of Perfectionism and Guilt
Building Your Village: The Importance of Accepting and Asking for Help
The Transformative Power of Outsourcing: Prioritizing Time and Energy
From Exhaustion to Peace: Finding Balance Through Support Systems
Streamline Your Path to Recovery: Unveiling Quick Solutions with Life Coaching
And so much more!

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

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Welcome to the Empowering Working Moms Podcast with Dr. Priyanka Naik, where she helps high-achieving moms break free from burnout and reclaim their lives. Join Dr. Naik, a board-certified physician and certified life coach, as she dives into real talk and practical strategies to help you overcome exhaustion, find inner peace, and achieve your dreams. Get ready to take powerful action and create your best life. Tune in now and let the transformation begin.

In this episode, you will learn:

Overcoming Burnout: Thriving as a Working Mom
Rediscovering Your Carefree Self: Embracing Fun in Motherhood
Dream Big, Make It Happen: Achieving Your Life's Goals
Cultivating Positive Energy: Empowering Yourself and Others
Modern Mindfulness for Working Moms: Finding Inner Peace in a Busy World
And so much more!

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, join Overcome Burnout For Good to end burnout and get your peace of mind back in 90 days or less

www.program.stresscleansemd.com/workwithme

To get started on banishing burnout and find peace and joy every day, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to ending burnout, getting rid of exhaustion and getting your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

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Episode #50. End Exhaustion by Keeping it Simple

Welcome to the Empowering Working Moms Podcast with Dr. Prianca Naik, where she helps high-achieving working moms overcome burnout and find peace of mind. In this episode, Dr. Naik talks about the importance of keeping it simple and how simplifying things can lead to a more calm, peaceful state of mind. Dr. Naik encourages listeners to stop obsessing over small things that don't matter in the long run, as they drain our energy and contribute to burnout. Instead, we should focus our energy on things that align with our priorities and truly matter to us. Tune in to this episode for more tips on keeping it simple and finding peace of mind.

In this episode, you will learn:

Importance of simplicity in life
“Easy Does It” as a tool to think of things in more basic, simple terms and not take our lives too seriously.
Prioritizing what matters
Overcoming perfectionism
Living in alignment with our values
And so much more!

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, Join Overcome Burnout for Good her foundational coaching program for any professional mom to end burnout and exhaustion in 90 days or less.

www.program.stresscleansemd.com/workwithme

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL SHOWNOTES]

If you’re listening to this podcast, you’re probably a high-achieving type A mother and you’re exhausted. Maybe struggling with exhaustion and burnout.

You have checked all the boxes of success and aren’t happy.

You don’t have to feel exhausted anymore. Imagine a life with no more burnout, more confidence more peace of mind.

That is possible for you because it has been for me and my clients.

Link in show notes.

Easy does it is an al anon saying that I love so much

We take our lives so seriously

Sometimes like everything is do or die and it’s not.

We give a lot of energy to things that don’t actually matter in the long run.

When are lives are said and done, we want to be able to look back on them in a certain way. That we lived how we wanted. Impacted others positively.

So getting caught up with and stressed out by moment to moment things are an energy drainer and really don’t add to our longer term vision

If you don’t know what I’m referring to in vision etc…because this is a part of my program one of the first modules creating a vision

Episode 1 your dream life starts with intention

If we can create a vision and try to live in alignment with our values, we can have a larger view of your life…this helps to zoom out and not get caught up with the nitty gritty of life.

When we are already wearing a bunch of different hats, we have so much on our plate, wasting time and energy is just something we have to be very mindful of.

When you are obsessing over a mistake or imperfection because we all have perfectionistic tendencies here, ask yourself if this really matters in the long run. Would your 80 year old self care? If not, then decide in that moment to drop it. If you can’t stop obsessing, practice mind body awareness and get into your head and out of your body.

Keep things simple. A client told me she had her daughter’s birthday party sorted out at a hard to book place in a local park. In another session, she said that they were changing the weekend. We paused and I told her to keep things simple. Regardless of the weekend, the party wasn’t going to be perfect. Nothing ever is. If enough kids didn’t show up, her daughter probably wouldn’t remember it in the scheme of her life.

I gave her this example and will give it to you also. I booked a party for my 5 year old son’s birthday party at a local playspace where they pretty much do everything for you. Now, I did this to simplify things for myself.

However, there wasn’t a great weekend to have the party because I am on call one weekend a month, my au pair was arriving that month, and my son’s spring break was that month. The playspace called me saying the original date I booked didn’t work, so we had to change it to the first Saturday of his spring break. I knew there was a risk of not that many people showing up, so I started to invite more people. But I knew there was no perfect solution here. I needed to keep it simple so I kept that date.

I spent one day shopping for the stuff for the birthday.

It was a lovely party that he will remember and had enough children to make a decently sized party.

The moral of this long winded story is that I kept it very simple for myself…it wasn’t do or die. I wasn’t going to add extra stress and tasks for myself because I knew that stress probably wouldn’t end up for a greater good but actually just deplete me in the end.

Being aware is the first step of this work. Aware of the extra tasks you're taking on. Aware of how your brain is functioning

This episode I want to focus on awareness of creating extra work for ourselves when we don’t need to.

We can keep it basic and simple

Think about the things you obsess over with your kids…are those things that bothered you? If so, why? But also, we can’t control our children’s perception of their childhoods…we can only do our best and keep trying to learn and grow.

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Episode #49. How to Cope with Hard Times (Part 3)

Get ready to boost your mental wellbeing with the Empowering Working Moms Podcast by Dr. Prianca Naik. In this final episode of the three-part series, Dr. Prianca explores the power of mindfulness and Buddhist principles in managing stress and burnout. With relatable examples and modern perspectives, she explains how mindfulness helps individuals become more present and gain control over their thoughts and emotions. Listeners will leave with a message of hope and inspiration that they too can overcome burnout with a little effort and find joy in life again.

In this episode, you will learn:

Mindfulness and Buddhist principles to manage stress and burnout.
The Thread Method: A process for mindfulness
Overcoming burnout: Tips for using mindfulness during tough times.
The Three N Method: A personal approach to managing negative thoughts and feelings.
Finding peace of mind and joy through mindfulness practice during stressful situations.
And so much more!

To end burnout and exhaustion and get your peace of mind back, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to overcome burnout, get rid of overwhelm, and get your peace of mind back.

https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, Join Overcome Burnout for Good her foundational coaching program for any professional mom to end burnout and exhaustion in 90 days or less.

www.program.stresscleansemd.com/workwithme

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL SHOWNOTES]

If you’re listening to this podcast, you’re probably a high-achieving type A mother and you’re exhausted. Maybe struggling with exhaustion and burnout.

You have checked all the boxes of success and aren’t happy.

You don’t have to feel exhausted anymore. Imagine a life with no more burnout, more confidence more peace of mind.

That is possible for you because it has been for me and my clients.

Link in show notes.

This is the final episode in this 3 part series on dealing with hard times.

Today I’m going to focus on something I practice and teach to my clients and that is mindfulness.

So crazy this episode was in the works when I received stressful news, but I used tools from last week and this week’s episode and it actually makes me pretty unshakeable.

Amazing what we can do when we take an active role in shifting our perspectives, mindset, and practice a little bit of discipline with our thoughts along with mindfulness practice.

Focus on mindfulness and some Buddhist principles…but not in a boring snoring way…I want to put a relatable spin on it ok?!

Mindfulness has so many benefits…but one major one besides allowing us to

The first noble truths of Buddhism is about recognizing the existence of suffering.

In his book You Are Here, Thich Nhat Hanh says that through suffering we discover the fourth noble truth, which is the path to healing. In fact the fourth noble truth is Marga, the path that transforms suffering into well-being.

Pain won’t kill us (usually)

Allowing ourselves to be present with the pain and know it likely won’t kill us. Sitting with and noticing the negative feelings. Being present with them. Crying if we need.

We can observe the pain of the hard time. By becoming an observer, we can distance ourselves from the negative emotions.

Sitting with emotions also allow us to not buffer as much with overeating, overdrinking, over Netflixing etc.

Sitting with emotions also increases our resilience and keeps us out of the obsession swirl of thoughts or rabbit hole our brain wants us to indulge in.

Practicing mind body awareness…focusing on our breath, counting our breaths, or acknowledging there is a body can help get us out of our heads with the spinning thoughts when we are dealing with a crisis or feel threatened.

Manage your mind and practice mindfulness:

Don’t let yourself spin stories or obsess over shit that doesn’t matter

I had a client thinking about an awkward situation re-tipping at a resort and I pointed out to her that it didn’t matter she didn’t have the brain space and energy to entertain all of this. She wasn’t even going through a hard time…but especially if you are.

Practice the above mind-body awareness when your brain is spinning on inconsequential B.S.

Breathe and focus on the breath

To feel calm

Unshrug your shoulders

Tune in to the body

There is a body

Notice where there is tension and try to squeeze and release

Slow down the mind

Focus on what you’re doing: the dishes, prepping meals, or a work task

Don’t multi-task

When you’re kids are being cute, tune in and pay attention be present, and drop the swirls in your mind you can choose to not perseverate

The 3N Method

Notice

Neutralize

New

From Yung Pueblo’s writing:

Essentials to remember on tough days:

Practice patience

Accept what you feel

Do not punish yourself

Make sure you get good rest

Give yourself ample kindness

Accomplish smaller goals that day

Do things that will calm your mind

A bad moment does not equal a bad life

Struggle can be a space for deep growth

This current discomfort is not permanent

They asked her,

"What is real happiness?"

She answered,

"Happiness is not fulfilling every pleasure or getting every outcome you desire. Happiness is being able to enjoy life with a peaceful mind that is not constantly craving for more. It is the inner peace that comes with embracing change."

yung pueblo | being

Imagine a burnout-free life with more confidence and more peace of mind.

That is possible for you because it has been for me and my clients.

With a little work, and not much time, you can be out of burnout and enjoying your life again. Check out my free on-demand masterclass 4 Steps to Overcome Burnout, Get Rid of Overwhelm, and Finally Get Your Peace of Mind Back.

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Episode 48. How to Cope with Hard Times (Part 2)

Welcome to the latest episode of the Empowering Working Moms Podcast with Dr. Prianca Naik, where she dives deep into the art of coping with hard times. In this second part of the series, Dr. Prianca talks about her upcoming first anniversary and how her podcast tackles topics that are only sometimes discussed, especially for high-achieving, exhausted women dealing with burnout. With insights on making peace with what's happening, taking control of our thoughts, seeking support, and practicing self-compassion, Dr. Naik emphasizes that while we can't control what happens to us, we can always control how we respond to it. So, join us today as we learn how to cope with tough times, emerge stronger, and become more resilient.

In this episode, you will learn:

Strategies for managing burnout in high-achieving working mothers Dealing with difficult times: tips for processing pain and finding peace of mind Taking control of your mindset: actionable tips for shifting your perspective in tough times Lessons from tough times: how to learn and grow from challenging experiences The power of self-compassion: why it's crucial for coping with hard times And so much more!

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, Join Overcome Burnout For Good to end burnout and get your peace of mind back in 90 days or less www.program.stresscleansemd.com/workwithme

To get started on banishing burnout and find peace and joy every day, check out her free masterclass on 4 steps to ending burnout, getting rid of exhaustion and getting your peace of mind back. https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/ Join her FREE Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

If you’re listening to this podcast, you’re probably a high-achieving type A mother and you’re exhausted. Maybe struggling with exhaustion and burnout.

You have checked all the boxes of success and aren’t happy.

You don’t have to feel exhausted anymore. Imagine a life with no more burnout, more confidence more peace of mind.

That is possible for you because it has been for me and my clients.

Link in show notes.

In the last episode, we discussed categorizing hardships in life as

Common hard:

Hard/hard but also normal often a big change

Out there hard where you might feel alone:

If you haven’t listened to episode 47, definitely go back and do that..

Categorizing things takes away their burn.

In this episode I’m going to walk you through processing pain and how to actually deal with hard times in a way that allows you to have peace of mind no matter what.

If you’re driving come back to this but I would definitely grab a pen and paper and take notes on this…you might forget but there are some real pearls here that will help you when shit hits the fan…and it always does…because this is life!

Today I’m going to discuss mindset work and actionable tips

Next week I will dive into mindfulness practices for hard times.

hard times happen…this is a part of life…nothing has gone wrong even if it feels like it…this is a part of my journey and is bringing me to where I need to go next.

Hard times give us a barometer for the good…without them we wouldn’t know what true joy and fortune are.

By doing this, we can make peace with what is happening that we can’t control.

2.Hard times are temporary. Nothing lasts forever. The only constant in life is change. This, too, shall pass.

This fact helps us to not get overly sucked in to the misery of a tough time. We can know that there will be relief at some point.

Example: 3 years I took off between undergrad and medical school

One step at a time…one hour at a time…one minute at a time.

First of all the experience of our life is happening right now. I don’t plan super far in advance for regular things other than travel…because I’m dealing with and experiencing the now…and the universe as we know often laughs at our plans.

When something makes us feel like we are overloaded, we can care for ourselves by taking things one baby step at a time to cope or perhaps solve for or take action.

Along with this

4.Take the pressure off

This hard time isn’t going to be solved in this minute…so how are you going to create peace in your brain to make it more bearable?

Easy does it, ease up on yourself.

Know that you are figuring things out

You are okay and will be no matter what

You don’t have to have all of the answers today

There is no pressure to figure it all out in this current moment.

There is time.

5.Pre-emptive processing

Imagine that much of this won’t matter as much won’t sting as much a few days from now a week, month, or year from now

Transposing future attitude on the now…being able to put things in perspective.

6.Pain won’t kill us (usually)

7.Acceptance of the tough time…shit happens. Life gets tough truly. People are dealing with all kinds of hardship like we discussed in the previous episode…so accept it as happening…it doesn’t have to define you…

Acceptance meaning don’t fight the force…accept what’s happening and you can take action as you see fit…

8.Acceptance of the fact that we can only control ourselves

Trying to control what is outside of us doesn’t work.

Ex: addiction…we can’t control addicts…we can only decide in what capacity we want to interact with them and create boundaries.

But accepting that we can’t control things outside of ourselves

9.Anti-isolation

There are others who are dealing with the same thing

seek help with a therapist, coach, friends, family

10.Self-compassion

Not blaming ourselves for everything…giving ourselves grace if we are struggling or having a bad day.

Knowing we are human beings and imperfect inherently and embracing our experience for better or for worse.

11.Thinking about lessons

Asking yourself how this might serve you in the future or what are you learning?

What have you learned?

12.Self-care and practical tips

Sleeping if you need

Sleep enough

Eat properly, hydrate

Exercise or take a walk

13.Belief in self and action mode:

I can do this

Think of all of the hard times you’ve emerged from before

Know you can solve problems

Can get into an action mode

Deciding a course of action and what to do next

This is empowering

14.Simplify:

Say no to extra projects

Be very picky about how you’re spending time

Be picky about who your spending time with

Now this is important in general but especially when you’re dealing with something hard

15.Take time

For yourself

To stop and smell the roses or whatever you want to do

Take a personal day or two from work if you need.

16.Finding joy in hard times

Nature

Fresh air

A scented candle

Hugs with your children

Wonder with you kids…they say and do the darndest things

Humor…funny shows, movies, or call your friend who’s funny

Laugh at what your kids say

Do a dance

Hang out with friends

Do something just for you

Go to your favorite restaurant or other favorite place

There is a lot of material in today’s episode

Don’t get overwhelmed…pick a couple of things you would like to try when dealing with a difficult time and see what a difference practicing these strategies will make.

Feel free to message me on Instagram at doctor Prianca if you enjoyed this series on dealing with hardship.

Imagine a life free of constant exhaustion and fatigue, more confidence more peace of mind.

That is possible for you because it has been for me and my clients.

With a little work, not much time, you can be out of burnout and enjoying your life again. Check out my free on demand masterclass 4 Steps to Overcome Burnout, Get Rid of Overwhelm, and Finally Get Your Peace of Mind Back.

View Details

Professional moms hire me to end burnout and exhaustion to have peace of mind and joy.

Join Overcome Burnout for Good her foundational coaching program for any professional mom

program.stresscleansemd.com/workwithme

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Welcome to the Empowering Working Moms Podcast with Dr. Prianca Naik! In this episode, Dr. Prianca talks about the dangers of perfectionism, which is a joy thief and a huge contributor to burnout and exhaustion. Dr. Prianca emphasizes that to truly find joy and balance, we have to burn down our old conditioning, stories, and narratives, and build up a new way of accepting our own mistakes and missteps because they are bound to happen. Let's learn to fight against perfectionism and live a life that's more peaceful and balanced!

In this episode, you will learn:

Her work as a burnout coach for high achieving working moms. Discussion on the negative impacts of perfectionism on joy and overall well-being, and how society pushes the idea of perfectionism. The need to burn down old conditioning and build up a new way of thinking that accepts mistakes and missteps. The benefits of accepting imperfection and self-love. Invitation to join a free on-demand masterclass to overcome burnout and get peace of mind back. And so much more!

Professional moms hire me to end burnout and exhaustion to have peace of mind and joy.

Join Overcome Burnout for Good her foundational coaching program for any professional mom

program.stresscleansemd.com/workwithme

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

Full show notes:

If you’re listening to this podcast, you’re probably a high-achieving type A mother and you’re exhausted. Maybe struggling with exhaustion and burnout.

You have checked all the boxes of success and aren’t happy.

You don’t have to feel exhausted anymore. Imagine a life with no more burnout, more confidence more peace of mind.

That is possible for you because it has been for me and my clients.

Link in show notes.

I did an episode on stopping perfectionism in episode 28

I got feedback that people wanted more material on perfectionism so here it is…

Perfectionism is a joy stealer AND a huge contributor to burnout and exhaustion.

The more we can learn to fight against it…it’s kind of like a disease…

The lighter, more peaceful, and balanced we will be.

We are high-achieving moms. Many of us have been conditioned to be perfect.

100% on exams, be in shape, not too thin, not too fat…whatever that means!

Look young, have a perfect house and spouse, maybe even high achieving kids too and the list goes on!

Now we all know to err is to be human…and I’m assuming if you’re listening to this podcast you’re human unless you’re a pet bystander!

Therefore…we, as human beings can NEVER be perfect.

This gets dicey in medical malpractice because the law holds us to a standard in which we can never make mistakes…but of course we are human beings!

I’m not going to go on a medical system tangent here..but I say this to highlight the fact that perfectionism is pushed in our society in so many places…including work.

We do our best and that is mother beeping enough.

To stop feeling exhausted and actually find joy and balance, we have to burn down some of our old brainwashing, stories, and conditioning.

We do our best yes. But we will never be perfect in all areas of our lives.

Our brain scans threats and for many of us imperfection is exactly that.

Becoming aware of this tendency is the first step.

Once you’re aware, you can actively decide to accept the lack of perfection or let things go.

This comes up all day every day.

Practicing letting go again and again

And knowing that perfectionism has nothing to do with our worth.

We are worthy…to exist. We are worthy of love from ourselves and others.

Regardless of how perfect we are.

Embracing ourselves here. Here we are. Imperfect.

That’s not to negate or say that we can’t try out best we can. But we can also accept B+ work.School is over. Our parents are no longer monitoring our report cards.

Steps to combatting perfectionism:

Being aware when it comes up

Feeling the resistance to accepting it

Deciding to accept it

Let go anyway

These are 4 steps…you may not be able to practice all of them. Start with step one, see how far you can get and then proceed to the next steps.

Keep trying and practice…does not make perfect because you will mess up! But practice the above 4 steps and you will learn to let go…over time…of 80-90% of your perfectionism.

The result will be increased energy and happiness. Try it and let me know.

Imagine a burnout-free life with more confidence more peace of mind.

That is possible for you because it has been for me and my clients.

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Welcome to the Empowering Working Moms Podcast with Dr. Prianca Naik! In this episode, get ready to learn how to banish burnout! Dr. Prianca shares her favorite mantras and quotes that have helped her in life and encourages listeners to adopt these sayings to find balance and stability. You are enough! You are doing a great job! Everything is figure-out-able. Listen in and learn more.

In this episode, you will learn:

Importance of being aware of one's thoughts and living a life with intention to banish burnout Sharing favorite mantras and quotes to ground oneself and find balance and stability Suggestions for dealing with overwhelming catastrophic thoughts Emphasizing the importance of taking rest and not filling every second with activities Encouraging self-love and acceptance And so much more!

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

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Episode #45. Perspective Shifts in Overcoming Burnout

Welcome to the Empowering Working Moms Podcast with Dr. Prianca Naik! In this episode, Dr. Prianca talks about the importance of perspective and how it can help high-achieving moms overcome burnout. She shares her experiences and offers practical tips for shifting your perspective, including two specific lenses you can use in your day-to-day life. The first lens is your 80-year-old self. Ask yourself what your 80-year-old would do or say about any situation. This can provide perspective and maturity and help you prioritize what truly matters. The second lens is rose-colored glasses, which means putting a rosy lens on things. This can help you see the positive aspects of a situation and avoid getting lost in the daily grind. Dr. Prianca also shares a personal example of using the 80-year-old lens to manage a stressful situation with her sick baby. So, if you're a high-achieving, Type A mom who is exhausted or struggling with burnout, don't miss Dr. Prianca's free on-demand masterclass on four steps to overcome burnout and get your peace of mind back.

In this episode, you will learn:

Empowering High Achieving Moms to Overcome Burnout Shifting Your Perspective: A Key to Overcoming Burnout Tools for Shifting Your Perspective: Future Self and Bird's Eye View Lenses Real-life Examples: How Shifting Your Perspective Can Help Combat Burnout The Importance of Mindset and Perspective in Achieving Peace of Mind and Living a Better Life: Free Masterclass Available And so much more!

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

To get started on loving your life, check out her free masterclass on 4 proven methods to love your life https://program.stresscleansemd.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

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Episode #43. How to Have Better Boundaries

Welcome to the Empowering Working Moms Podcast with Dr. Prianca Naik! If you're a high-achieving type-A personality struggling with exhaustion and burnout, you're not alone. Our free on-demand masterclass will help you overcome burnout, eliminate overwhelm, and finally get your peace of mind back. In today's episode, we are discussing something that all our clients are working on - better boundaries. Boundaries are essential for maintaining physical and mental safety and are necessary for the human experience. You can create your own boundaries and live in alignment by saying “NO”, not taking on too much work, and not people-pleasing. But it's also essential to consider your mental safety and pay attention to situations that make you feel uncomfortable. In this episode, we'll discuss handling situations where you don't feel safe emotionally and give tips on creating boundaries.

In this episode, you will learn:

The importance of boundaries in combating burnout and exhaustion The concept of boundaries and their relationship to physical and mental safety Examples of saying no and people-pleasing Over-explaining and the realization that one can create their own timeline and comfort level without having to explain oneself And so much more!

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

To get started on loving your life, check out her free masterclass on 4 proven methods to love your life https://prianca-naik.mykajabi.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

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Episode #42. Urgency Creates Clarity for a Better Life

Welcome to the Empowering Working Moms Podcast with Dr. Prianca Naik. Spring is around the corner, and with it comes sunshine and hope. Today, Prianca talks about death and how we often live as though we have forever to do what we dream of. However, life is too precious to waste time on jobs we hate, relationships that make us miserable, or anything that steals our joy. Priyanka shares some thought-provoking questions to help us get in touch with living in alignment with who we are and who we want to be. What would you stop doing if you knew you had one year to live? What would you do more of? What legacy would you want to leave behind? So, tune in and get ready to prioritize your values and start living your best life.

In this episode, you will learn:

Introduction to the program and its benefits. Importance of acknowledging the reality of death and how it impacts our priorities and values. Questions to help prioritize values and live in alignment with who we are or want to be. Urgency in living a life that aligns with our values and priorities. The importance of seeking happiness and living a life of integrity. And so much more!

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

To get started on loving your life, check out her free masterclass on 4 proven methods to overcome burnout, end exhaustion and get your peace of mind back. https://program.stresscleansemd.com/pl/2147625382 Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Before we dive in, I want to give some info from behind the scenes in my program. I had a client saying to me before even finishing my program that she was having major shifts; with better relationships, being more present with her kids, felt like she was a better mom, was sleeping better and not only finding balance but happiness EVERY SINGLE DAY.

enrollment is open for my foundational group coaching program for professional moms who want to end burnout and overwhelm to finally have peace of mind and joy daily. Book a call priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me and apply to work with me. I would love to talk to you the link is in the show notes.

I heard a podcast recently talk about death in the most interesting way and I wanted to share it with you

So many people just live as if they have forever to do things. Or push things off to …I’ll do this when… When none of us actually knows how long we have to live this one precious life.

It’s so precious…that in episode 40 I talked about bucket lists because I think its so important to do the things we’ve been wanting to do. Why wait?

Here are some questions to help your brain prioritize your values and help you to live in alignment with who you truly are or want to be.

These questions are meant to create urgency. If you knew you had one year to live, what would you stop doing? If you knew you had one year to live, what would you do more of? If you knew you had one year to live, what legacy would you want to leave behind? If you knew you had one year to live, what impact would you want to make? If you knew you had one year to live, what would you do for your career and what would you do for fun?

These questions put a fascinating lens on our lives. They put a timeline on us. Force us to really cut out the fat and get down to what we truly want to do

I did this exercise and found that I pretty much am doing exactly what I would be doing if I had a year to live so I feel good about that. However, one thing I would like to cut down on and stop doing is consuming social media.

Put some time into this…write down the answers to these exercises and see what comes up. It might surprise you. I would love to hear from you.

Enrollment is open for my foundational group coaching program for professional moms who want to end burnout and overwhelm to finally have peace of mind and joy daily. Book a call priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me and apply to work with me. I would love to talk to you the link is in the show notes.

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Episode #41. How Change Can End Burnout

Welcome to the Empowering Working Moms Podcast with Dr. Prianca Naik! In this episode, Dr. Prianca talks about change and its critical part of the coaching process. She explains that humans crave stability and routine, which can lead to feeling stuck in a rut. However, change is the only constant in life, and it's necessary to transform ourselves and create different results. Dr. Naik acknowledges that change can be scary because it often comes with grief, but it's also an opportunity for growth and new outcomes. She encourages listeners to embrace change and accept that it's always happening. Tune in to this episode to learn how to overcome resistance to change and pivot towards your desired outcomes. Also, Dr. Naik is enrolling in her foundational group coaching program for professional moms who want to end burnout and overwhelm. Book a call with her to learn more!

In this episode, you will learn:

She returned after a break and opened enrollment for her group coaching program. The importance of change in personal transformation and coaching, despite resistance and fear. The human desire for stability and routine can make one feel stuck or in a rut. Change is a constant in life, even though it may be scary and cause grief. The importance of embracing and accepting change and recognizing our adaptability as human beings. And so much more!

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Join her FREE Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Before we dive in, I do want to let you know enrollment is open for my foundational group coaching program for professional moms who want to end burnout and overwhelm to finally have peace of mind and joy daily. Book a call priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me and apply to work with me. I would love to talk to you the link is in the show notes.

Human beings crave stability and routine. Yet we find ourselves tired, not enjoying life, on a never-ending escalator or hamster wheel.

So maybe part of the answer to get rid of that is change…

Change is the only constant and part of life

Change is scary! Human beings crave safety and routine. Good to a certain extent…but shifting/pivoting…those are the conduit to new and desired outcomes!

Death is change…yet rarely discussed in our society.

We can't fathom certain changes

Two things we can and should do with change.

1-Embrace change:

It’s a catalyst of new desired results…

2-Accept it as a constant in life that change is a fact of life. And our acceptance can decrease our resistance and suffering and lighten our load.

Clients come to me with various issues. And they feel stuck.

Well what is the way out when you’re doing the same things again and again?

Change!

I'm not suggesting changing careers or making huge changes quickly…although if you want to you should go ahead…you can always change your mind.

But if you are resistant to change, I encourage you to take a baby step to make some type of change. If you regularly get a certain latte, try something else, do something small outside of your comfort zone.

Book a trip somewhere different Embracing change: 1. Go with your instinct 2. Know you can always change your mind 3. Imagine the possibility of something different 4. Think that you could be one change away from your dream of some sort

Accepting change: 1. Knowing it is always happening 2. It’s a constant in life 3. It is often the currency of our desired outcome and results.

These practices that I’ve discussed today: Embracing change Accepting change

Both are tools to help us be energized and find peace and joy every day.

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Episode #40: Create Joy Always By Being You

Welcome to the Empowering Working Moms Podcast with Dr. Prianca Naik! In today's episode, she talks about the importance of being a human being outside of being a mom and checking off your bucket list. Do you remember whom you were before becoming a mother? It's time to get reacquainted with that person and enjoy hobbies and activities outside of being a mom. But beware of the conditioning that we need to be productive always and that having too much fun is not okay. There is no rulebook on how much fun you can have, and it's up to each person to determine how much fun they need to feel fulfilled. So, incorporate those hobbies and activities that bring you joy, and remember that it's okay to have fun! Also, don't forget to check out Dr. Priyanka Naik's group coaching program for professional moms who are mentally exhausted and are looking to enjoy the life that they worked so hard to build.

In this episode, you will learn:

The importance of being able to be a human being outside of being a mom and checking off your bucket list Remembering who you were before you became a mother and getting back in touch with that person The concept of not having too much fun and feeling guilty about doing something that is not productive all the time Incorporating hobbies and activities that bring joy into your life and not apologizing for them. And so much more!

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Join her FREE Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

FULL TRANSCRIPT Before we dive in, I do want to let you know enrollment is open for my group coaching program for professional moms who are mentally exhausted in survival mode and want to enjoy the life they’ve worked so hard for. Book a call priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me and apply to work with me. I would love to talk to you the link is in the show notes.

It’s okay to want to be human outside of being a mom Being a person Do you remember who you were before you became a mother? Don’t get me wrong I’m not taking for granted motherhood But what lit you up before you had kids

And would you like to get back to that

Concept of it’s wrong to have fun or too much fun

One of my clients wanted to go back to playing guitar It’s a hobby of hers So actually she and her daughter are practicing together which is cool But you could do an activity alone too

I feel alive and joyous when I’m dancing I do it all the time in my house Alone in the bathroom With my kids in the kitchen

And now I’m brainstorming how to incorporate it more…do I want to take a dance class? Maybe!

And what about that bucket list What has been checked off What hasn’t

What is something you’ve been putting off?

I have always wanted to go to a little town in Spain. So I’m going to go this year! Because life is short and precious and beautiful no one is going to remember much of what we did…the impact we had yes…the connections we made yes…but that’s it.

No point in worrying what other people think We better get on it.

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"Stand guard to the door of your mind.” Mindset gets thrown around in coaching because it is a key to experiencing life with intention.

Most people are not happy. Many of them are depressed. Not enjoying life. So doing things the way everyone else does them makes no sense.

In order to find inner peace and fulfillment and enjoy everyday you must have intention and implement processes.

Intention is empowering

You are in control

-Who you’re talking to

-Sometimes if there's a certain person who is draining

-Decide when you can talk to them if at all

-What you’re listening to

-Who you’re spending time with

-How you’re allowing your brain to think as in what thoughts you’re allowing yourself to indulge in

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call To get started on loving your life, check out her free masterclass on 4 proven methods to love your life https://prianca-naik.mykajabi.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast Follow Dr. Prianca on social media: https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/ Join her FREE Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

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Episode #38: How to Achieve Inner Peace and Happiness

Breathe easy with Dr. Prianca Naik in the Empowering Working Moms Podcast! In this must-listen-to episode, Dr. Naik shares her personal journey and the power of mindfulness meditation in finding inner peace as a working mom. Say goodbye to stress and sleep deprivation as she teaches you how to use the breath as an anchor for stability and presence. Don't miss this inspiring episode on the importance of taking care of yourself for a better you.

In this episode, you will learn:

· The importance of breath in creating inner peace and stability.

· Dr Prianca's personal story, a high-powered professional mom.

· The adverse effects of sleep deprivation and anxiety on the speaker's life.

· The journey of finding peace through mindfulness meditation, exercise, and sleep.

· The benefits of focusing on the breath, include reducing stress and anxiety, and becoming more present and fulfilled.

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

To get started on loving your life, check out her free masterclass on 4 proven methods to love your life

https://prianca-naik.mykajabi.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Before we dive in, I do want to let you know enrollment is open for my group coaching program for professional moms who are mentally exhausted in survival mode and want to enjoy the life they’ve worked so hard for. Book in a call priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me and apply to work with me. I would love to talk to you the link is in the show notes.

Dr. Prianca discusses her post-partum journey as a first time mom and the impact of mindfulness meditation.

While we are alive, we can count on it to be there. The breath serves as our anchor to stabilize us. When we connect to it we connect to our body and get out of our heads.

You may exhale to signify the beginning of an arduous task. You probably take a long breath, sighing, when you feel overwhelmed or fatigued and afterward, may feel a sense of relief. It may fail you when it halts upon the reception of shocking news. The sudden passing of a relative drives the breath away momentarily. You soon realize it returns without even a millisecond of thought to go searching for it.

It's always there. So we can use it to our advantage. The breath centers you if you focus on it when feeling sad, angry, lost, anxious, depressed, or lonely. Mindfulness meditation allows the meditator to focus on the present moment, get distance from thoughts and feelings, instead of getting carried away with them or becoming one with them. The breath is the key piece of this practice.

The power of the breath is paramount not only in our survival, but our thriving too!

Practicing mindfulness can center us, ground us, stop us from spinning out in our brains get distance from our thoughts and feelings and ultimately be in the present moment too.

I use it as my anchor throughout the day to save my brain from fatiguing. I also use it when I’m hugging my kids. I focus on my breath and keep myself in the present moment instead of allowing my mind to wander to my to-do list.

Pay attention to what I’m discussing today and apply it because noticing our breath is something we can do that is effective in our mental health and FREE!

It’s always there as long as we are alive

It is our anchor

We can use it to stabilize ourselves, ground ourselves

Get out of our heads and into our bodies

We begin to get in the habit of tuning in, we can use it to help us create peace every day.

How to focus on your breath:

Counting breaths

Noticing rising and falling

Observing length of breath

Noticing breath, noticing thoughts, not getting sucked in, then going back to the breath

Headspace starter is how I learned to sit and meditate; then I began using it throughout the day.

Situations in which you can use the breath:

First thing in the morning, last thing at night

When you’re stressed

When you want to take in any given moment

Enrollment is open for my group coaching program for professional moms who are mentally exhausted in survival mode and want to enjoy the life they’ve worked so hard for. Book a call priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me and apply to work with me. I would love to talk to you the link is in the show notes.

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Episode #37: How to deal with to-do lists

The never-ending to-do list is the bane of many working moms’ existence. It can cause a lot of suffering if you let it. In this episode of Empowering Working Moms Podcast Real Talk with Dr. Prianca Naik, she shares that accepting that it is never-ending is critical to make peace with it. She discusses that categorizing, compartmentalizing, and taking a break are the three most important things a mom can do to win over these to-do lists. She also shares steps to take not to be overtaken by these. There’s more to unpack in this episode, so tune in and enjoy!

In this episode, you will learn:

The never-ending to-do list
Making peace with the list
Categorizing
Compartmentalizing
Taking a break
Steps to have power over the list

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

To get started on loving your life, check out her free masterclass on 4 proven methods to love your life

https://prianca-naik.mykajabi.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/doctorprianca/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Before we dive in, I do want to let you know enrollment is open for my group coaching program for professional moms who are mentally exhausted in survival mode and want to enjoy the life they’ve worked so hard for. So book a call at priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me and apply to work with me. I would love to talk to you; the link is in the show notes.

One of my clients came to me not wanting to face each day even though she loved her job and had a lovely partner. She found herself stressed, constantly fatigued, with an inability to enjoy her life. Through our work together, she is now bouncing back from things that would have made her upset in the past very quickly and enjoying every single day making the most of her time with her kids.

The never-ending to-do list is the bane of many working moms’ existence. It can cause a lot of suffering if you let it.

Acceptance of this list is critical. Accept that it’s never-ending; even when you check things off, new things find their way onto it.

Keeping this in mind, we can decide to make our peace with it. As our frenemy, it will always be there, but we need to learn to live with it because it’s not going anywhere.

You’ve got your work to-dos and life to-dos. Sometimes people may even ask you to do things for them, which creates even more to-dos!

Refer to the episode on boundaries for learning how to say no to stop unnecessary stuff from making it onto your list

Categorize to-dos, with the most urgent being the most important or time-sensitive. Make sure to take time to do these weekly. Set aside 30 minutes weekly to take care of nagging tasks.

Compartmentalize the to-do list. Decide not to think about it when you’re not working on it during its designated time.

Take a break

Have faith in yourself that you’ll always get everything done on your to-do list just like you have and just like you always will.

How I make sure my to-do list doesn’t overtake or bother me, and how I have power over it.

I make my to-do lists on fancy stationery I’ve had custom-made via Etsy. That makes them more fun to look at and interact with
I acknowledge that the to-do list will always exist and will never be complete

This allows me not to sweat it or allow it to cause me stress. Instead, I make peace with the to-do list as a frenemy knowing it will never go away.

Doing a few things that are easy when you don’t feel like doing anything, i.e., small tasks
Check boxes or crossing off; you may already do this
Saying no to extra things you don’t have time for…even to your parents, husband, boss, whomever (power of no episode)
Prioritize the absolutely have-to-get-done stuff

Enrollment is open for my group coaching program for professional moms who are mentally exhausted in survival mode and want to enjoy the life they’ve worked so hard for. Book a call at priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me and apply to work with me. I would love to talk to you; the link is in the show notes.

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Episode #36: How to manage unexpected stress for moms

Stress and anxiety are the things that plague working moms. Often, they try to control the circumstances through various planning to get control of their lives and feel that sense of stability. In this episode of Empowering Working Moms Podcast Real Talk with Dr. Prianca Naik, she shares that it is futile to attempt to control circumstances because life is constantly throwing curveballs. The key is accepting that the universe continually likes to laugh at us and that our plans and control are ineffective. She shares some strategies that create a sense of calm and centeredness when things go awry. To learn more about Dr. Prianca’s systems, tune in and enjoy!

In this episode, you will learn:

Controlling the circumstances in an attempt to get control of our lives
Examples of situations during which things get thrown off
Practicing gratitude can help shift our mindsets to what is working
When these moments happen, remember, “this too shall pass.”
When we resist this suffering, we add extra layers of pain to ourselves

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

To get started on loving your life, check out her free masterclass on 4 proven methods to love your life

https://prianca-naik.mykajabi.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/priancanaikmdcoaching

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPTION]

Well, hello there. Thank you so much for tuning in. I took a little bit of a hiatus from this podcast and I am shuffling things around in my life, to create more time and space to bring these recordings to you. Because I love this podcast so much and I appreciate you so much for listening.

So before we dive in, I do want to let you know that enrollment is open for my new group coaching program for professional moms in male-dominated fields, who are mentally exhausted in survival mode, but they want to enjoy the life that they work so hard to build and I'm launching this in March.

If you want to hear more about this program, get started on truly loving your life again because you deserve to book a call, priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me. Link is in the show notes and apply to work with me. I would love to talk to you see what's going on with you and see if you're a good fit.

Today I want to talk about something that really affects all of us because stress and anxiety is something that Type A working moms are totally played with am I right? But the thing is, we often try to control the circumstances around us. We plan plan plan in an attempt to get control of our lives and feel that sense of stability. I'm going to tell you that really just does not work because life is constantly throwing us curveballs. The universe constantly likes to laugh at us and laugh at our plans. I'm going to dive into today creating peace and ease by using these strategies.

Remember that trying to control things around us and outside of us actually does the opposite of creating peace and stability. It's truly a waste of time because we really have no control over anything outside of ourselves. As we are currently in the winter here in North America illness is upon us, meaning that illness is upon our children as well, meaning sick kids are staying at home from school and....who is taking care of them? Can I get an Amen? It's the moms, right?

And then when we're working and our work gets thrown off. Because of these illnesses where we have to step in and take care of our children when we're supposed to be working and this is just par the course, right? This is just something that we know arises every single winter and though it might not be fair, working on acceptance of this and realizing it's going to happen can ease some of our suffering and stress about it. There's no use of freaking out about any of this. I'm going to give you some examples of situations during which things get thrown off.

Let's say you are working on having good sleep hygiene and you want to have a good night's sleep. You stop revenge staying up late. Now one of your kids decides that they've either wet the bed, they're up throwing up, whatever and they wake you up and they put a complete kibosh and wrench in your plan, right? So that's one, great example which happens pretty often to us mother's where our sleep gets thrown off.

When this happens, all you can do is try to get back to sleep using some mind-body techniques. I like to use really starting to relax my toes and working my way up the body. As I focus on my breath, sometimes I count my breath and often I will fall back asleep. Now, if that doesn't work, I will try my best to find time during the day, if I can get in a quick nap. If it's the weekend, maybe I can nap with my kids are napping and if your kids are too old to nap, I suggest having some rest time or quiet time in their rooms, even for a little bit. Just so you get a breather and a break for yourself during the day.

The next example, I'm going to give you a something that happened to me last week. So, I actually was all ready, I got dressed I put on makeup which isn't you know, that's not my usual modus operandi and I was all excited to go to Manhattan for a doctor's networking event by SoMe docs and I put my business cards in my purse ready to roll. I was actually meeting up with my old college roommate, Carolyn beforehand and was excited about that. I hadn't seen her since the summer and wanted to connect with her. Literally as I am at the train station and the train pulls up,nI look down at my phone and my babysitter has texted me that she's sick. vNow, this babysitter is reliable so I believe her and I take that second to not get on the train. I make a few phone calls. I send a few text messages to see if anyone else can cover her and care for my children while I go to this networking event and low and behold, there's no one available. So I end up going home. Meanwhile, I've already activated my ticket and paid for the ticket to go to Manhattan on my phone. And of course, I'm all dressed up now with nowhere to go.

Instead of being in a frenzy, instead of being completely frustrated, I had gratitude that my babysitter coincidentally texted me before I got on the train. It would have been much more of a headache to get off on the train stop cross the tracks to go to the other side, get another train going back, and get back on time to be home, when my children were dropped off. I was grateful for spending an evening with them and funnily enough, my older child was having some bowel issues. I'm sure you can relate if your kids are from 0 to 5 age range or maybe even older and it was actually good that I was home to help him with that. So that ended up working out to be honest and I just took the evening to relax and I realized that I was going to bed earlier than if I had gone to this event and come home probably later than, you know, when I was home. So, I just practice gratitude for all the goodness that came up and often when these kinds of things happen. I wonder if maybe the Universe saved me from a car accident or something bad happening. You just never know because you never know what would have happened, right?

Let's fast forward to the next day. Here's another incident where my day was thrown off course I the following day. I actually after this whole thing, my date my daughter's daycare called me that she had one episode of vomiting and they wanted me to pick her up and luckily, I was not seeing patients that day. I did have a podcast episode scheduled with a very special guest whom hopefully I will end up recording that with her and sending that out to you guys. But basically, I had to cancel that and pick up my daughter and instead of being frustrated with the fact that I had to reschedule the podcast recording with my special guest, I had gratitude for the fact that I wasn't on call seeing patients would have been a lot more hectic to shuffle around my day in a range for her pick up. But luckily, I was home and I could do it because what I'm doing when I'm working on my coaching business, I work from home, which is awesome, and it's much more flexible than being on call. In these instances I truly was not in a huff about either one of them and I just practiced gratitude which I think is such an awesome tool. I've talked about gratitude before but it's really useful in moments where you feel like your life is being shaken up or you're being inconvenienced. It's also really useful when you're having a bad day or something bad is happening to you. Gratitude can help shift our mindsets to what is working because so often our brains really, as a survival mechanism, were wired to look at the bad and that can really create an unhappy life experience for us. So, if we practice gratitude not only in these moments but also day-to-day, if you just say a few things that you're grateful for every single day, it can be so useful in just having a more peaceful experience every single day.

I actually just had one more example of this happen this morning. So literally, I'm recording this podcast in the morning and my older one was not feeling. Well, he was nauseous, he woke me up and I tried to get back to sleep and actually it was, it was an awkward time to go back to sleep because it was basically, I think 5:45 a.m. That's always kind of tough to come back from and I have a very important appointment tomorrow actually where I have to be a couple hours away from my home and I had arranged for some backup child care in case one of my kids get sick, but the person who is helping me has an appointment of her own and she's really not going to be back until noon. So, from the hours of 8:00 to noon. I need some backup and so, basically, my brain was working on those arrangements just in case my son ends up being sick, which we'll have to see how the day goes, but instead of panicking, instead of stressing, instead being anxious about it, I know that I will figure it out. Just like, I always have, just like, I always will, everything truly is figure outable. And if you can also remember that you're a problem solver, you're intelligent, you have the answers within you, you don't have to spin out and freak out about something adding an extra layer of suffering to it.

So right now, today, I'm going to take moment by moment. I have a plan, a back-up plan for the eight to noon and that's what I'm going to do and it's totally going to be okay and tomorrow is going to come and go and then I'm moving on with my life. So, remember, when these moments happen, also, this too shall pass. Not only is everything figure out-able but these moments are so finite, they're so short in the scheme of your lifetime. That there's no point in allowing them to steal your joy because they're going to happen again and again but they don't last forever, right? So, remember that. Keep these tools in your back pocket. The gratitude practice, which I suggest doing every day, but definitely during these moments, the idea that this too shall pass is going to come, it's going to go. There's no point in adding extra layers of stress, to yourself and that, everything is truly figure out-able-like Marie Forleo's book title says and really learning to live by that mantra. This mantra comes back to me regularly, keeping me centered and grounded and it really allows me to know I have my own back. This keeps me peaceful and calm. When previously I would have spun out with and made myself miserable, really and truly embracing the discomfort in the moment and allowing it to happen will cause less resistance and less suffering in the end. And remember that suffering is a universal human experience is part of our experience and when we resist this suffering and really play into it, we add extra layers of pain for ourselves.

So if you can see the benefits of the curveball, see how you have solutions, right? And if you don't believe me, think of past solutions during which you solve your issues or work them out, or if the worst did happen, how bad was it truly? And when you handle the situation like a boss, reflect on how well you did remember that part too because so easily we dismiss our own management of stuff. I mean we are going around like machines and it's amazing, right? The more we acknowledge what a great job we're doing the more we can improve our self-concept and appreciate ourselves and then the more we do not have to look outside of ourselves, we don't have to seek external approval and the more inner peace we will have.

So, try any and all of these methods. The next time the universe decides it wants to have a huge laugh at you, laughs its tail off at your expense by putting a wrench in your plans and you throwing a curveball at you. If you want to get started on having this kind of inner peace every day, make the most of your life, have a fulfilling life, get out of exhaustion and survival mode, book a call with me to join my group coaching program. I am launching it in March. www.priancanaikamdcoaching.as.me. Let's get started. Let's go. Thanks for tuning in and I will talk to you next week.

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Help For Stressed Moms: Finding Joy

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Episode #34: How to Make More Time with Your Kids

As a working mom, do you constantly feel guilty about not being able to spend more time with your kids? Mom guilt is a perennial feeling within every mom, and one thing that adds to it is the issue of not being able to spend more time with kids. In this episode of Empowering Women's Podcast Real Talk with Dr. Prianca Naik, she shares that according to a longitudinal study of parent time, published in April 2015 in the Journal of Marriage and Family, the amount of time parents spend with their kids has minimal bearing on how children turn out. In addition, other data states that today's mothers spend as much time or more than the stay-at-home moms of the 1960s. So today's moms are setting unrealistic expectations and putting a ton of pressure on themselves. Thus, Dr. Prianca advises every mom to focus on quality over quantity which can be achieved with practice and intentionality. She also shares practical ways to obtain this. So if you want to learn more, tune in to this episode and enjoy!

In this episode, you will learn:

Focusing on quality over quantity
Ways that can help moms connect with their children
Establishing rituals and being consistent with it
Anchor points- taking a moment to hug them and breathe and be present
Being mindful of connection points as they come up
Making time for their events
Spending time with children on holidays
Looking back to one's childhood and demonstrating and propagating the times that one's parents were present, and making up for where they were lacking.
Creating special time and how it works
Providing a safe space for grace and forgiveness

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Check out my free masterclass on 4 methods to love your life

https://prianca-naik.mykajabi.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-II-love-podcast

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/priancanaikmdcoaching

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

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Episode #33: Live Out Your Dreams by Living for You

Society, cultures, organized religion, and other factors dictate our sense of what’s acceptable or normal. Because of this, we often involve ourselves with things based on the norm. In our profession, for example, we pursue careers that people highly regard, neglecting what we want to do and who we want to be. Join Dr. Prianca Naik in this episode as she uncovers the root cause of this circumstance, employs strategies to break free, and creates the life envisioned in real life. So tune in to learn more!

In this episode, you will learn:

People pleasing and its effect on our programming
The doctor profession and its weight in Indian culture
Reflecting and discovering what you really want in life
Allowing yourself to grieve other things, not just death
What will be essential on your deathbed?

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Check out my free masterclass on 4 methods to love your life

https://prianca-naik.mykajabi.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-II-love-podcast

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/priancanaikmdcoaching

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[Full Transcript]

Before we dive in, I do want to let you know enrollment is open for my 1:1 coaching program for professional moms who are mentally exhausted in survival mode and want to enjoy the life they’ve worked so hard for. I have four (4) spots in December, so book a call with priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me and apply to work with me. I would love to talk to you. The link is in the show notes.

We start people pleasing at a young age wanting to appease our parents and gain the approval of our teachers. This is good and, well, important in shaping us…however…this external approval and validation, the programming with which we grow up, runs so deep that what we want often becomes what others want. Fast forward 35 years or so, and then find yourself not enjoying this life even though you’ve busted your butt to succeed and do all the right things; check all the right boxes.

Have you ever asked yourself what you want in life? What job? What kind of a partnership? What kind of social life?

Or are you just living how you saw life should be? What was the norm for your parents and aunts and uncles?

If you’re a doctor, did you want to become a doctor, or did you do so to please your parents?

In Indian culture, this is probably no surprise to hear. Being a doctor is often pushed as a prestigious proper profession.

I wanted to be a fashion designer as a young child. I was into fashion, but I never considered it a career because it wasn’t stable, and I wouldn’t seem smart amongst my family and parents’ friends. I also considered becoming a therapist, but that wasn’t prestigious enough. I come from a family of physicians. So, of course, becoming a doctor ended up being a dream of mine. Not because my parents told me to do it. But because I believed it to be a noble stable profession that would finally make me worthy. People would know I was brilliant and I could help people.

Indian parties.

Besides helping people, so much of this had to do with external factors. It was what I wanted based on how I’d been programmed.

Take a second to reflect on your own programming. What did your parents want you to be when you grew up? What were their expectations of you? Who did they encourage you to marry? Did you listen?

Now that you’re an adult and have the privilege of making your own decisions, what do you want to do with your life?

You get to choose. You get to decide. Whatever your heart desires. It doesn’t matter what your parents or others think. You can switch jobs/careers or whatever. You don’t have an obligation to others’ expectations of you.

In fact, it doesn’t matter!

Even if some decisions up until this point have been due to what others want for you, you get to change at any time.

You can start to figure out your life now.

When clients begin their work with me, I have them map out their vision longer term and then shorter term. So many of them find it daunting and difficult. It is like creating a vision for ourselves is not the norm.

Crazy right?!

Society, cultures, organized religion, and other factors dictate our sense of what’s acceptable or normal. We can actually empower ourselves to question things and decide what we think is right. For example, Disney fairy tales are unrealistic and create unhealthy expectations for young girls to find their prince.

Also, major tv shows show narcissistic jerks transform without therapy, effort, or coaching and become different people. This is so unrealistic and actually toxic. Yet, this is what is shoved in our faces as normal.

I challenge you to think about how much of your life is lived for you or others who don’t walk in your shoes daily.

Think about what you want out of life. The kind of person you want to be. What your life would look like if you made decisions with self-love.

What will be important on your deathbed? People bring this up a lot, but it creates an instant perspective. Though our careers are important, I’m guessing most dying folks are thinking about the trips they took or the impact they made, or the precious time they spent with loved ones.

Take a moment to reflect on what your priorities are. Or what would they be without your parents’ input. Or what would they be if another family had raised you? Then, start stretching your brain to think about what you…the purest form of you…before you learned to put everyone else above yourself. What the child in you would have dreamt of…what kind of a career and life she envisioned for herself before someone told her she couldn’t dream?

Start writing it down and taking note of it. Have gratitude for the dreams you did make come true so far and create new ones…all of your own. If you have a dream you would like to share but are afraid of being judged, let me know. You can find me on Instagram at priancanaikmdcoaching. Shoot me a dm of your dreams; I will support you. However, I will caution you to be careful regarding who you share these with otherwise. Beware of naysayers and Debbie downers. They’ll suck the wind right out of your dreams. Dream big and hold those dreams tight.

As you see this vision, you can begin to create it in real life. The dreams are just for you and no one else. That’s the life that will be in alignment with the real you, not the you on paper or the you that you’ve been trying to be.

Let’s get started on making those dreams a reality. If you want to move past mental exhaustion and burnout, book a call with me, praicnanaikmdcoaching.as.me, I have 4 one on one coaching spots open in December.

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Episode #32: The Best Way to Deal with Grief

Common in many middle-aged women is feeling sad over the lack of what we thought would be, a mismatch of the picture-perfect life. Yet, many women feel guilty for grieving over such matters, which adds a layer of suffering in thinking we shouldn’t ever have negative feelings like grief. Join Dr. Prianca Naik in this episode as she opens the space for women to grieve over various things, even the most trivial ones. She shares that allowing yourself to grieve will help you move past it much more quickly and acquire satisfying happy lives. To learn more about grief and how to process it, tune in to this episode!

In this episode, you will learn:

What is grief
Causes of grief
How to process grief
Allowing yourself to grieve other things, not just death

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/priancanaikmdcoaching

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

To get started on loving your life, check out her free masterclass on 4 proven methods to love your life

https://prianca-naik.mykajabi.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

[Full Transcript]

Grief is a natural part of life. And yet so many of us are afraid of it, or we don’t want to process it, or we don’t know how. Crying is a normal part of life. If we can allow these discomforts, we can move forward. But if we don’t process our grief, it can lead to depression, anxiety, etc.

An added layer of suffering in thinking we shouldn’t ever have negative feelings like grief or judging ourselves for grieving anything unexpectedly.

Often we think our lives are going to turn out a certain way. We check all the boxes and do all the right things, or so we think, and yet somehow, things aren’t the way we thought they’d be. Sometimes we have to grieve the lack of what we thought would be. This is common for many middle-aged women. Looking at your life and having it not be where you want it to be, that mismatch of the picture-perfect and what it is can cause a disconnect that leads to sadness and grief.

A listener reached out to me regarding the loss of her pet hamster. Not just death we grieve but any major change. It could be a job change, a change of partner, or a divorce, grieving the life we thought we would have. Or moving cities and missing our old neighborhood and friends.

When I moved and had to let my nanny go, I cried for two months on and off, missing her after I moved.

Transitions are times of grief as well. To move forward, progress, and transform, we must process our grief and not buffer or ignore it. To live our best life, we have to be able to be uncomfortable and do the work.

Grief can be triggered during the most unexpected times. If it’s not a good time, see if you can go to a private spot like the bathroom to be alone and be with it. Be with the grief. Be present with it. There was a time when something sent me into a complete grief spin. I spent 30 minutes with my grief. I cried the hardest and loudest I have in a long time. I played music that reminded me of some of the grief spots. I played the difficult time of the past (which I never do because I don’t believe in reliving anything as in it’s not productive), but I allowed myself to do a movie of the tough times that brought on this grief, and in doing this, I processed it. Everybody’s processing is different. This is what mine looked like.

So how to process it?

Don’t run away from the discomfort.

Being able to sit with discomfort is a critical part of this work

Not buffering and being able to be with what comes up

Observe it and not judge it.

It’s okay not to be okay.

Society shames grief, crying, and anything that’s not picture-perfect, especially on social media. People don’t even mean to do it. They’re concerned.

I put a crying pic up, and a friend reached out to me, thinking I was crying for help.

I put a video up to acknowledge all single mothers on my Instagram, and an acquaintance asked me if I was okay. When I said yes, she asked if I was sure just because there wasn’t a picture perfection there.

It’s as if…when we are genuine, or we aren’t bubbly, people automatically think something is wrong. Sometimes they genuinely want to help. Other times they might be judging. I bring up a point that society isn’t necessarily open to grief, especially if it doesn’t pertain to actual death. It’s almost as if, by society’s rules, we aren’t allowed to grieve other things.

Maybe we want to grieve our old pre-baby body, and we can’t do that because maybe that’s body shaming. My point is various things other than death…an individual may want to grieve. And I’m here to tell you that it’s okay. Please grieve whatever you want to. Don’t feel shame about it, and weep as long as you need. If you take the time to do this, I promise you will be able to move past it much more quickly. It won’t eat away at you.

The truth is, most people aren’t doing the work here that we are talking about today. And that is why many of them won’t live satisfying, happy lives because it takes intention, hard work, and a little outside-of-the-box thinking.

You can do this. You can get through whatever grief you need to process. Try the mind-body connection described in this episode, and let me know how it goes.

My coaching program helps moms in male-dominated fields suffering from burnout to enjoy the life they’ve worked so hard to build, using my proven methodology to heal the underlying causes of burnout.

To get started on enjoying your life, check out my free masterclass on the four methods to love your life link in the show notes.

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Episode #31: Ways To Not Feel Lonely For Working Moms

Many of us have been taught to strive for excellence, achieve a good life, and be picture-perfect. However, this need can be exhausting and isolating for us. In this episode of Empowering Working Moms: Real Talk with Dr. Prianca Naik, she talks about the reality of retreating and feeling alone when we go through something that reveals our lack of perfection. She shares ways to overcome loneliness and come out of it victorious and complete. Get ready to take notes and tune in to learn more!

In this episode, you will learn:

The resilience story of a client
The result of striving for excellence
How to combat loneliness
External approval and completion

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/priancanaikmdcoaching

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

To get started on loving your life, check out her free masterclass on four proven methods to love your life

https://prianca-naik.mykajabi.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

[Full Transcript]

I want to start by sharing a recent client breakthrough. A client of mine who had tried all the things: podcasts, meditation, ted talks, and therapy, came to me wanting to enjoy her life when she felt miserable day to day even though she shouldn’t because she has a beautiful family and likes her job. However, through our work together, she can enjoy the crucial moments in her life, especially with her children, and also bounce back from the negative moments and curve balls a lot more quickly: resilience.

To get started on enjoying your life,

Check out my free masterclass on the four methods to love your life link in the show notes.

Many of us have been taught to strive for excellence. This is fabulous, don’t get me wrong. This principle helps us to achieve at work and in our personal lives. Checking off all of the boxes. And then, we grow up or approach mid-life and wonder why we are exhausted and unhappy.

Often, this need for the good life or picture of perfection can isolate us. As a result, we retreat and feel alone when we go through something that reveals our lack of perfection or shatters the perfect Instagram family photo.

Some clients go through problems and feel completely alone, but they aren’t. We are all struggling with a variation of the same issues, even if we are under the delusion that we are the only ones.

Remember, although we are our greatest ally and should learn to act accordingly, there are also people, friends, and family who will love and support us unconditionally whether we can afford a multi-million dollar house or have a seemingly perfect life or not.

Here is how to combat loneliness:

Realize you aren’t alone:

-you have yourself; get comfortable with yourself (examples being alone, sitting in quiet alone, taking the self out to dinner, reading alone, dancing alone, taking a class by yourself)

-Learn to love your own company

-When you have a problem, feel alone, or feel isolated in your negative emotion, take time to be with yourself. Put your hand on your chest and be present with whatever is going on. This is having your own back. Begin making a habit of this.

-Know that people generally want to help; you just have to ask. If you’re feeling lonely about something or isolated, reach out to someone your gut tells you you can trust and open up. You will be surprised how supportive good friends can be.

-Join support groups with people with similar issues. For those in homes with abuse, for example, get into domestic violence support groups or alcoholism, there is al-anon; this will build your sense of community

-there are a million FB physician groups where I have found a sense of community and connection

-deepen the friendships you already have. Nurture them.

-in addition to taking yourself out alone regularly, make regular connections with friends and family.

-decrease social media consumption; promise not to scroll late at night. It’s a waste of time and energy; set aside time. Put limits on your phone for using the apps. Or delete them altogether.

-if you find yourself trying to fill your void with food, drink, or any other buffering, approach yourself with kind curiosity and practice being okay with yourself alone

-practice meditation and mindfulness; this helps to distance us from our thoughts and empower us.

Once you learn to feel at home, you will seek external approval and completion. What I mean is many of us were raised to believe we need a romantic partner to complete us. We don’t. It is beautiful to have a healthy partnership; however, we don’t need it.

Remember to work on yourself before inviting a partner in if you are a single parent. You will come from a much better, less grassy place. You won’t be trying to fill a lonely void because your life will be complete with just you and your children.

To get started on enjoying your life,

Check out my free masterclass on four methods to love your life link in the show notes.

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Episode #30: How to be a Happy Working Mom through Pattern Recognition

Deeply ingrained habits and patterns can be traced back to childhood experiences even before remembering them. Some of them are helpful, while others add a layer of stress and anxiety to what one is already dealing with. In this episode of Empowering Working Moms:Real Talk with Dr. Prianca Naik, she dives into increasing your awareness of destructive mental patterns to help decrease your suffering and be relieved of exhaustion. So tune in and enjoy!

In this episode, you will learn:

Habits and patterns
Increasing awareness
Stories we tell ourselves
Three steps in the mindfulness method

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/priancanaikmdcoaching

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

To get started on loving your life, check out her free masterclass on 4 proven methods to love your life

https://prianca-naik.mykajabi.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-podcast

[Full Transcript]

To get started on enjoying your life,

Check out my free masterclass on the four methods to love your life link in the shownotes.

We all have deeply ingrained habits and patterns.

Old stories and narratives. They started before we can remember when we were young children. Some of them are helpful and beneficial, while others are not.

There might be a sudden urge to blame yourself whenever something goes wrong.

Increasing my awareness is one thing I realized in my journey that has decreased my suffering and helped me not feel exhausted. But today, I want to dive into increasing your awareness of your mental patterns that are not serving you or are adding a layer of stress and anxiety to what you are already dealing with.

I will give a couple of examples to clarify:

When anyone raises their voice, I get triggered. I feel anxious and a squeezing in my throat. This probably comes from being a child and feeling unsafe when I was yelled at. I became aware of this in the past few years. And, of course, our brains are wired to keep us safe and scan for threats which is helpful. However, instead of fully diving into feeling threatened with raised voices…which would increase my anxiety and suffering, I can acknowledge that this is my pattern. And not to beat me up about the pattern. To not say, why do I always have to get anxious when people yell…but to notice it with compassion and say, yes, this is my usual response. And that’s ok. I am safe. I am ok. I don’t have to feed further into this threat.

You can create a layer of lightness and airiness with this approach. You will move beyond exhaustion and burnout with this simple practice.

How about getting triggered by your parents…this is a tough one…because those relationships are long-standing and deep. What is your go-to response when you feel uncomfortable? Can you see it? How about isolating your approach to just you? Assuming that your parent may not be able to hear you the way you want to be heard and managing your pattern and response. What is one small step you can take to de-power the negative effect an unpleasant conversation or interaction might have on you?

One thing that has helped me with my old pattern of seeking their approval. This one is deeply ingrained. I want to emulate many of their excellent qualities, hard work, significant involvement with kids, and setting a good example in so many ways. But there are other things I don’t want to carry forward. There are things I want to do differently. So when I find myself seeking their approval and maybe not getting it…I ask myself if I want to copy their behavior in that specific situation…or if they are experts in this matter. And if the answer is no, I let go of their approval and find trust and comfort in my way.

If you are unhappy about your job or relationship, what is your story surrounding that? What is the narrative you’ve told yourself about it that might not be helpful? I am not appreciated. I am not valued.

Those are some thoughts that aren’t positive…if that’s the story you’re telling, start realizing it’s a story and not a fact. When we see narratives for what they are, they don’t own us or have as much power over us when they’re not helping us.

In my mindfulness method, notice/neutralize/new, noticing just being aware is the first step in dealing with any situation. Then that will help to neutralize the situation and remove the emotional change. Then the last step would be to pick a new thought. So, for example, replace the aforementioned unhelpful thoughts with identifying the things I am loved for or appreciated and something else of your choosing to help change the perspective and increase your gratitude and overall life satisfaction.

To get started on enjoying your life,

Check out my free masterclass on the four methods to love your life link in the shownotes.

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Episode #29: Reduce Burnout at Work and Life through More Time and Space

Workload sometimes piles up, and our to-do list never seems to end. Factor in several household duties that also needs attending. Before being burnt out, there are some things one can do to avoid going down that path. One is creating more time and space for yourself. To learn more about what this means and how to create one, tune in to this episode of Empowering Women’s Podcast Real Talk with Dr. Prianca Naik.

In this episode, you will learn:

Never-ending to-do list
What does our brain usually do when we are faced with many things to accomplish
What to do when we have a lot of things on our plate
Tips for creating more time and space

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Check out my free masterclass on 4 methods to love your life

https://prianca-naik.mykajabi.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-II-love-podcast

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/priancanaikmdcoaching

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[Full Transcript]

Reduce Burnout at Work and in Life through More Time and Space

My coaching program helps moms in male-dominated fields suffering from burnout to enjoy the life they’ve worked so hard to build using my proven methodology to heal the underlying causes of burnout...

To get started on enjoying your life,

Check out my free masterclass on the 4 methods to love your life link in the show notes.

Not everyone is in a job they love…some are, and that’s great. Others are in a grind.

Regardless of where you are in your career, we can often feel overwhelmed by our never-ending to-do lists or things piling up.

Factor in a sick child or other curveball life can throw, and forget about it. You will feel like you’re drowning pretty quickly.

It is important to honor where you are when you are there.

Recently, my to-do list was longer than usual. Some deadlines were looming. So I decided to focus on one thing at a time. This is not usually how I manage. Usually, I get a task done in 15-20 min increments. But I found some of the things I needed to take care of just weren’t conducive to that strategy. So I switched gears and did one thing at a time. I also forgave myself for not seemingly reaching the usual level that I had been achieving.

The first thing my brain wanted to do was to make me feel inadequate, not worthy, and not good enough. But sometimes, life gets tough. That’s the reality, and a way to make things easier is by giving ourselves grace, of course, like what I discussed in episode#24

But also space. Some breathing room. More free time. Sometimes that means sacrificing some of our daily routines depending on how much they help us. The last couple of weeks were hectic for me, so something had to give. I cut back from six days of exercise a week to three, knowing this was temporary.

I put a hold on the podcast, even though I love bringing it all to you so much. I quieted down on my emails to my list. I often email them; go to my website stresscleansemd.com to sign up for my emails…but I had to decrease that also to give myself more breathing room.

I constrained who I chose to hang out with, which I usually do, but I made sure not to overschedule weekends. For example, I allowed myself to not do some exercise on weekends when I saw many patients on call.

I scheduled extra time before bed to make sure I got adequate sleep. We need that for our mental health. I know I definitely do. And the way to actually do this is to promise and commit to yourself that you’ll have good sleep hygiene. So, yes, there are times [Netflix], but there are also times when you have to have the discipline to do what’s healthy.

Schedule some time and space to connect with a loved one in the figure if you can’t fit it in right now. Have things to look forward to.

Take five minutes in the morning to connect with yourself and set an intention for the day.

Try to get help if you can…with childcare or household tasks…this will create more space.

Unplug. Cut yourself off from any scrolling. I am getting a watch actually to be able to put my phone aside outside of work hours to increase presence because I use my phone as a clock.

Declutter and organize your workspace or a sacred space at home. Because, like Gretchen Rubin’s book title, outer order does create inner calm.

Make a large to-do list and smaller ones to decrease overwhelm.

Say no to things you don’t absolutely have to do. Protect your time and energy to conserve more time and space. Stop people-pleasing (for help with this, listen to episode #4). People-pleasing muddies up our free time, energy, and space.

Meditate regularly. (only 5 minutes)

Take a personal sick day or some form of time off soon to give yourself time to get shit done and recoup.

Be okay with not being a productivity machine. It’s okay.

Do a reset when the tough time seems like it may be letting up.

Make a short list of manageable goals and get to them. One small step at a time.

To get started on enjoying your life,

Check out my free masterclass on 4 methods to love your life link in the show notes.

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Episode #28: How to Stop Perfectionism

Perfectionism is a disease of overachieving women. Good grades may have been a product of perfectionism, but in the long run, it can cause life dissatisfaction, unhappiness, feelings of unworthiness, and in extreme cases, depression and anxiety. So how do we avoid the pitfalls of perfectionism? Join Dr. Prianca Naik in this episode of Empowering Working Moms: Real talk with Dr. Prianca Naik, as she unmasks the causes, effects, symptoms, and remedies for this disease. So tune in to learn more!

In this episode, you will learn:

What is perfectionism
Causes of perfectionism
How to know if you have perfectionistic tendencies
Concrete tips to follow in combatting perfectionism
Benefits of decreasing perfectionismCheck out my free masterclass on 4 methods to love your life

https://prianca-naik.mykajabi.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-1-2

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/priancanaikmdcoaching

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[Full Transcript]

My coaching program helps moms in male-dominated fields suffering from burnout to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to build, using my proven methodology to heal the underlying causes of burnout.

To get started on enjoying your life,

Check out my free masterclass on the four methods to love your life. Link in the shownotes.

Perfectionism is a disease of overachieving women. We are often taught to look and act a certain way. 100% on exams, and A+'s were a must, maybe from external pressure or within. This score is great for getting into a good school or becoming a professional like a doctor, lawyer, or VP of some division of a huge company and working your way to the top achieving success as you know it or have been told. Unfortunately, perfectionism can bite us in the long run. Adding to and causing so much life dissatisfaction, unhappiness, feelings of unworthiness, and in extreme cases, depression and anxiety.

I'm going to let you in on a little secret. No one has the answers to living the "perfect life." First, there is no such thing as the perfect life because human beings err inherently. Second of all, there is no manual for how we are supposed to go about doing things. Only we can figure it out, and that's the simultaneous difficulty and beauty.

How to know if you have perfectionistic tendencies:

-High standards for everything

-Results Orientation

-Always looking at what is missing or not enough

-nd on one's mistakes

-Obsessing over blemishes…be it on your beautiful face or a marble countertop in your home.

We often correlate self-worth with accomplishments. This practice is a sad and tough one. I found myself struggling with this. The net worth, house size, and picture-perfect life. Needing that to show that I've made it in life.

I have faced challenges, and my life, in some ways, didn't turn out as I expected. Though don't get me wrong, I love my life as it is and enjoy every day.

I find an old-ish process going on, along with my perfectionistic tendencies. For example, I dropped my son off at camp without a swimsuit because this was nowhere in the orientation email. And yet I could feel the angst rising and squeezing in my throat. I acknowledged that agitation, sat with it, and moved on. There was nothing I did wrong or could do differently. My son would be ok. So, of course, this example is on a small level.

Let's talk about a larger-scale perfectionism issue.

When we aren't getting along with someone in a significant relationship - our spouse or sibling or someone who doesn't like us, type A mothers have a hard time accepting this.

Perfectionism shows up in our self-worth.

Where do we tie our self-worth… to how well we get along with others? On tangible achievements like a good salary?

Or how do we define success? And when we achieve that or weren't achieving that? Or our perfectionistic tendencies come into play; will it ever be good enough? Or maybe it never will be. So giving thought to how we see ourselves and define loving ourselves is vital in dealing with our perfectionism. As I often state in my program and my mindfulness method, all transformation, all problem-solving, and all solutions begin with awareness.

Without seeing a problem, we can't tackle it. So I encourage you to be aware of the patterns in which your brain works. The not-enoughness that might present itself.

There is no perfect solution to this. But most of us are aware of our perfectionistic tendencies…and let us congratulate ourselves for this. We are high performers. We want to do the best by ourselves and others as well. Nothing to criticize here. And there will probably always be the tendency. But we can be aware of it, continue working on it, and practice accepting B+ work.

Here are some concrete tips to follow in combatting perfectionism:

Also, living in the win, as I discuss in episode #27, we can reflect on what we do well. All of the things we are doing right. This can be as simple as I packed my kids' lunch, delegating something, I took out the trash, or whatever. Doesn't have to be big. Once we see what a good job we are doing, we can shift our mindset on how well our life is going.

Keep the bigger picture in mind. When something is bothering you because it isn't perfect, how is it working out in the scheme of things or life? For example, I will admit when I outsource things, like getting help with my kids' laundry, I may not like how it's done, but I have to let it go and not eat away at me. I can't allow it to steal my joy because perfectly done laundry doesn't matter!

When you're obsessing over a mistake, get yourself out of your head and into your body. First, notice there is a body. Next, feel the weight of gravity and the points of contact with your body, a chair, or the floor. Then take 10-15 seconds to focus on your breathing, and when your mind wanders, because it will, get back to the breath.

Stop "shoulding" all over yourself - I should have done this or that. It's a symptom of perfectionism and beating ourselves up. It's not helpful. So cut it out.

Learning to let go: Cleaning lady example. Preface first world problem. 40% price increase. Look again, accept it as is, and clean it myself, which brings me to a common problem I see. Clients have a tough time outsourcing. The mantra of no one can do it right, or I do it best…or if I want it done right, I have to do it.

Cut Yourself Some Slack!

Self-acceptance:

To embrace ourselves, including our imperfections, is accepting ourselves as human and celebrating our wins because we have so many. You don't have to be perfect to have a great life or success.

Make a promise to yourself to stop beating yourself up.

And when you've had a particularly imperfect and bad day, turn to this RW Emerson quote:

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."

Allowing yourself to be human and accept your imperfections.

I'm not perfect, and that's great. So that's a thought I chose.

It eases the unrest I feel when I don't have it 100% perfectly together.

Benefits of decreasing perfectionism

-overall increased life satisfaction

-wasting less time

-wasting less energy

-keeping life in perspective—fulfillment

My coaching program helps moms in male-dominated fields who are suffering from burnout to enjoy the life they've worked so hard to build using my proven methodology to heal the underlying causes of burnout...

To get started on enjoying your life.

Check out my free masterclass on the four methods to love your life. Link in the show notes.

https://prianca-naik.mykajabi.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-1-2

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Episode #27: Living in the Win

Most of us constantly try to see what needs to be fixed all the time, and we often neglect the wins we have daily. In this episode of Empowering Working Moms Podcast – Real Talk with Dr. Prianca Naik, she paved the way towards living a celebratory life. This kind of life requires more than being grateful, but one that celebrates who you are and the things you do. Dr. Prianca explains that living in the win is keeping track of what we are doing well and embarking on something adventurous. She also shares practical steps on how to live a victorious life. Tune in to learn more!

In this episode, you will learn…

What is "Living in the win."
Gratefulness vs. Living in the win
Steps to achieve "living in the win."
Training the brain to validate internally

Surround yourself with people to. Because in success that's what we do. We are all striving for success right? So truly celebrating ourselves every single day.

I have found this extremely useful when I'm having a bad day or going through time really reflecting on all the things I'm accomplishing in a give-and-take for all of the things I do right. I try to make a list along with my gratitude practice for gratitude practice please refer to episode number

Human beings tend to focus on what's not working because we have to eliminate possible threats etc

Winning also means being in the modus operandi of doing what we might find intriguing adventurous.

We have the power and we can always schedule on fun things in the schedule or in between day to day stuff regularly

I had an opportunity to be on a talk show briefly this week and I jumped on it. Details to follow but I was living in yes and I had the most fun I'd had in forever

Proud moments for myself

When I'm teaching my kids something

Or modeling good behavior

So much good stuff we do and we never pause to acknowledge it

I go to the gym 5-6 days a week usually. That's awesome.

Reflecting daily 5 things you’re doing right…add to gratitude

What things do you take for granted in yourself?

Can you write a letter of appreciation to yourself

Celebrating ourselves for how great we are. We aren’t better than others ok..bc that is arrogance. However, we can celebrate our own fabulousness and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Can do it alone. Can do with friends. Can have an accountability partner. Mine that I met 2.5 years ago, we are able to celebrate ourselves with each other and hold space be there for each other to hear about our challenges setbacks of course.

My process helps professional moms with the seemingly perfect life who are silently suffering on the inside to know that they're not alone, and that they reclaim their confidence and power to have the life they want even if that feels impossible right now.

To get started on loving your life check out my free masterclass on 4 proven methods to love your life
https://prianca-naik.mykajabi.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-1-2

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/priancanaikmdcoaching

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

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Episode #26: How to Manage “Overwhelm”

With the various hats a woman wears daily, it is unavoidable that things can come up all at once. Dealing with these things could be overwhelming. So, what is the best thing to do when you feel overwhelmed? Tune in to this episode of Empowering Working Moms Podcast – Real Talk with Dr. Prianca Naik, as she dives into the feeling of overwhelm and shares tips on managing them. Dr. Prianca recounted the overwhelming sense she felt when going through transitions and the self-reflection she did to identify how to handle it so as not to let the sense of “overwhelm” overcome her so she could continue thriving and enjoying life.

In this episode, you will learn:

The sense of “overwhelm.”
The first step in decreasing stress and suffering
Digging deeper
Measures to manage “overwhelm.”

Join my free masterclass on 4 proven methods to love your life https://prianca-naik.mykajabi.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-1-2 If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/priancanaikmdcoaching

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW]

My process helps professional moms with the seemingly perfect life who are silently suffering on the inside to know that they're not alone and reclaim their confidence and power to have the life they want, even if that feels impossible right now.

Hello everyone, I'm so glad you're joining today. I was on call this past weekend which means that I'm busy, and I see a lot of patients; this can, of course, be overwhelming. However, I was walking through my process the way I coach myself and observing what I did to keep myself grounded and not overcome by the overwhelm.

The first step in decreasing our stress and suffering is accepting any given state. This is something I've noticed for myself because, of course, I manage my mind and truly love my life no matter what's going on, no matter how hard things might be. I enjoy my life in multiple moments every single day. That is not to say that I don't have bad days or I don't cry. There have been times when I cry a lot. And if I feel like I'm going through a hard time, I will ask myself what is going wrong? What can I fix? Because I tend to be a healer and fixer. That's why I went into medicine.

That's why I went into life coaching.

But recently, I was expressing my “overwhelm” in a group and asked how I deal... I said I allow myself to feel the feelings…ask myself what is going wrong, and come up with a plan/solution.

I am a solution-oriented person, and one of my mentors has always taught me not to be a complainer but come up with solutions, so that is how I have learned to be wired. Not a bad thing. I'm good with it.

But what comes along with this is the idea that something is wrong when I don't have it perfectly together 100% of the time. I recently had this realization. I, too, have to check myself in following my processes because I am not perfect. I think about my podcast on perfectionism, episode #24.

And realize that I have to be reminded to give myself grace as well.

I'm not perfect, nor will I ever be. And, of course, I acknowledge life is good and bad…so there will be challenging times. Hence, of course, there will be times when perhaps there are too many challenges at once, and I may feel more overwhelmed than usual.

Because I have my tools for that of course, recently, with some major transitions going on in my life, including transitioning away from a nanny, sending my baby to daycare, and other things, I realized I was dealing perhaps with more than I have ever dealt with before. Juggling even more balls in the air than usual! I had to dig deep, do some deep personal work, and reflect on how I would handle this and not to let the sense of "overwhelm" overcome me so I could thrive, prevail, and continue to enjoy my life.

Here is what I found…

-When shit gets rough and hits the fan, know it is not permanent; this I know. But know that it may take me where I need to go. I can certainly reflect on times in my life when things were difficult, but the challenging times laid the groundwork for the next step.

-Nothing has gone wrong. I am doing my best, and that's TOTALLY enough.

-I don't have to tackle every single problem at once

Problems and challenges come in various shapes, sizes, and packages and have varying degrees of complexity. Therefore some challenges we can face head-on very quickly and solve. For example, a messy house would hire a cleaner, which is extremely simple. Perhaps with some leg room in there to hire, but overall simple.

However, there are larger problems in life, like challenging relationships or decisions to leave a toxic work environment, and the list goes on…that may require more mental energy.

-In the case of the larger problem requiring more energy, we must cultivate patience. Trust yourself. This is something we work on inside my coaching program. Essentially, once you trust yourself, you know that the answer will come to you. Often, you simply need time and space. Then, you will figure out the solution.

-Everything is figureoutable. Sometimes it just takes longer than you bargained for.

-Hence, cultivating patience makes our life experience more enjoyable.

And when you're completely exhausted, make sure you are very cautious, mindful/careful of giving your energy away to anyone who may need or want it…guard your energy.

Refrain from activities that deplete it

Refrain from people-pleasing

Be very picky about what you do when you are going through this.

For example, don't take on more than you have to during these times. When dealing with major transitions/decisions/stressors, our to-do list can be very daunting, so we don't want to add more.

Don't do anything you don't want to do; don't hang out with anyone you don't want to hang out with.

Be you unabashedly because it doesn't require any extra work.

My process helps professional moms with the seemingly perfect life who are silently suffering on the inside to know that they're not alone and that they reclaim their confidence and power to have the life they want, even if that feels impossible right now.

And please share this podcast with anyone you think would benefit or enjoy it.

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Episode #25: Healthy Ways to Deal with Frustration and Anger

In this episode of Empowering Working Moms Podcast – Real Talk with Dr. Prianca Naik, she dove into the factuality of how the past culture, the culture that the moms of this time grew up, invalidates feelings of anger. Proper conduct and behaving properly were the norm before. But presently, the expression of anger is encouraged for healthy well-being. With this transition, some moms are still finding their way on how to tread this path. Make sure to tune in to this episode to learn more about anger, expressing it, and dealing with it.

In this episode, you will learn:

The culture that invalidated feelings of anger
Respect is a two-way street
Acknowledging feelings of anger
How to deal with anger

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/priancanaikmdcoaching

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[Full Transcript]

My process helps professional moms with the seemingly perfect life who are silently suffering on the inside to know that they are not alone and that they reclaim their confidence and power to have the life they want, even if that feels impossible right now.

Anger is something many of us were never conditioned to feel.

As in, it was not okay to be angry.

Women especially are supposed to be feminine which perhaps does not mesh with anger stereotypically.

Having to maintain decorum was a part of the norm of how we were raised.

Being proper, behaving properly, and respecting elders were a major part of my culture and upbringing.

But what I found was respect was a one-way street. You could get yelled at and screamed at by someone older than you, and you were supposed to stay silent.

Feelings will build up and boil in there.

Sometimes it is easier to feel anger than sadness because something about anger is empowering.

Our generation is learning that any feelings are okay. The issue is how you might express it. I tell my 4-year-old that all feelings are okay to have; it is how we process and deal with them. Being angry is fine, but it does not give anyone the license to take it out on other people. That is the key.

If we want to manage our anger, be allowed to feel it but deal with it appropriately, here is what we do.

I worked on this in my own life because I was often surrounded by angry people with no tools to cope. It would make me feel like I could never be angry.

Through coaching, I decided to take back my power and learn to allow myself to feel angry and deal with it healthily as well.

Allow yourself to feel it.

Cry, scream into a pillow.

Scream in your car where no one can hear you.

Figure out how to get your angst out-for me, working out is super helpful.

Get outside, and breathe the fresh air.

Notice your surroundings; you will get out of your head, and be not as sucked into the narrative.

The mind-body connection there is a body…take a few deep breaths

Feel it in the body…notice and neutralize.

Journal to vent.

Understand that your anger will subside in the long run in the bigger picture.

To not get sucked in further.

“I am okay.”

Get space.

Give yourself a time-out pause.

If you are frustrated, decide how much importance you want to give to something.

If you want to dive deeper into this work, I have 4 spots opening up for private clients.

Schedule a call today priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me

And please share this podcast with anyone you think would benefit or enjoy it.

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In this episode of Empowering Working Moms Podcast – Real Talk with Dr. Prianca Naik, she talks about the reality that life can be hard at times, and we intentionally or unintentionally add to it by demanding too much from ourselves. This demand could come from the desire to conform to society’s definition of success. While striving for excellence is good, pushing yourself too hard would not be beneficial. Dr. Prianca shares how to give yourself the grace you need during difficult times and how this grace helps decrease your stress level.

In this episode, you will learn:

The demanding culture
Silencing the inner critic
Examples of how we can give ourselves the grace we need
Not feeling guilty
Grace

Where to find Dr. Prianca Naik:

Website: https://www.stresscleansemd.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/priancanaikmdcoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Watch her FREE masterclass:

The 4 Secrets to Living a Life You Love: Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, Isolation, and Spinning
Register below to watch today:
https://prianca-naik.mykajabi.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-1-2

Join her Facebook group Empowering Working Moms:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

[FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW:]

I want to talk more today about giving ourselves grace and space for difficult times in life. These include times of life with massive changes. It can be marriage, moving in with someone, moving to general cities or houses, changing jobs, ending a relationship, or having a baby for the first or subsequent time.

These situations require a period of adjustment and grace. Grace is an important concept to learn to give ourselves because it is truly the opposite of how so many of us were raised.

Push, push, push. Perfection. Excellence. 100% on exams, class ranking, success, etc. Be tough, don’t whine. Now I'm definitely not a proponent of whining. However, I am now a proponent of being gentle with ourselves. This kind of sounds lame as I say it, but it is a necessary "lameocity". We must work on being okay with B+ work, things not always done our way, or some of the literal and figurative messiness of life.

My mom was a captain in the Indian army. She is such an incredibly strong woman. She taught me strength, and an awesome work ethic; took pride in her work and was an example of a self-sufficient successful woman. At that time, she was one of the only female internists in my small town. She had to fight to get her place. She ended up being the chief of medicine there.

I mention this story because our parent’s generation, our mothers had to fight to work in a man’s world. We still are. Part of this is being tough, though which to a degree we do need. Often, this practice turns into a mean inner critic. You’re not smart enough or thin enough or enough period. How terrible right? How can we be happy when this voice lurks in the background? When I start working with my clients, I tell them one of the rules is no inner critic. Shut that shit down. ASAP. No space for that voice anymore because it does not add anything. I want to add balance to this though, and that is where the grace comes in.

Grace that we are enough as we are. Yes, we’ve made mistakes, but we are always learning and growing. Nothing wrong here. Doing great!

Giving oneself grace means being gentle with oneself - the ability to treat oneself as a friend or like you would your own child.

Examples of how we can give ourselves grace:

not obsessing not going down the rabbit hole-refer to episode #10 on managing catastrophization
acknowledging when we’ve made a mistake and that we are human and being perfect is impossible
easy does it, going easy on ourselves, resting when we need to
getting help and not feeling guilty
outsourcing and not feeling guilty
caring for ourselves and not feeling guilty

Not feeling guilty is a major theme here. Perhaps I should focus more on realizing that mothers will always feel guilty - acknowledging that and moving forward without harping on it. So maybe we will always feel guilty and accepting that is what we can do to lighten our load and decrease our suffering.

I make sure I do what I need to do to stay well - be it coaching, group therapy, alone time, or connecting with dear friends. I feel guilty any and all minutes I take myself away from my children. Yet it’s not practical to be with them 24/7. I also would not want to smother them. My solution is understanding this is impractical and knowing I will feel guilty no matter what and proceeding anyway. The end product is inner peace and happiness which then transmits to my children.

When you find yourself slipping into an old pattern or are triggered, give yourself space that you’re not perfect you’re working on it.

Not being so hard on ourselves - which is really difficult to do because so many of us moms working in male-dominated fields, we strive for excellence - demanding it from ourselves and often others.

Sit with yourself quietly

Be okay with who you are and where you are right now. Be okay with who you were. Be okay with your previous programming even if you’re trying to re-wire all of that.

Grace:

What if we could know that we are doing our best? And honestly, it’s probably better than our mothers did because understanding where we come from, healing old trauma and wounds, trying to care for our own mental health - these things have become so much more mainstream. And we have the opportunity to do better for ourselves and our kids. As we give ourselves grace we become less harsh with ourselves and others. There is a ripple effect there. Imagine them giving themselves grace more naturally than we do because it was modeled to them while they were growing up. What?! Incredible. The work we are doing here is so critical in healing ourselves but also improving generational mental health. If you want to dive deeper into this work, I have a handful of spots opening up for private clients.

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In this episode of Empowering Working Moms Podcast – Real Talk with Dr. Prianca Naik, she invites everyone to see sadness in a different way. She believes that changing our attitude and mindset towards pain can decrease the amount of suffering we endure in the long run. She also shares tips on managing sadness to move past exhaustion to find peace and happiness.

In this episode you will learn:

The contrast between joy and pain
Crying and its usual effect on people
Our Brain –resistant to change
What to do when life gets hard and overwhelming

About Dr. Prianca Naik:

Prianca is a working mom physician who has always learned and practiced science. It is this principle, putting science to life, which helps make everything more manageable.

After years in clinical practice, Prianca found her favorite part of work was troubleshooting everyday problems with patients, but more so with colleagues, nurses, social workers, and other female physicians. In helping other professionals improve their well-being, she realized that she wanted to start transforming her contribution to the world. Motherhood was the compelling catalyst that propelled her to finally take a leap and pursue that change.

Through desperate Google searches, work on herself, podcasts, reading, and lifestyle changes, she began to emerge. Throughout life's challenges and adversity, Prianca learned to find happiness within herself regardless of her circumstances. She began working with a coach, which was more powerful than any therapy work she had ever done. This experience motivated her to earn her coaching certification at the International Coach Academy.

Prianca works with professional mothers to reduce their stress and anxiety levels by 50% in 12 weeks. Her clients make small incremental changes to obtain larger long-term results. After working with her, they surface from the heavy cloud of day-to-day pressure and thrive.

Schedule a call today: priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me

Get to know Dr. Prianca Naik on:

Website: https://www.stresscleansemd.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/priancanaikmdcoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

Do you need a safe space and community for professional moms in survival mode, struggling, and feeling alone? Join the Empowering Working Moms Facebook group

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

Dr. Prianca Naik’s FREE master class:

The 4 Secrets to Living a Life You Love: Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, Isolation, and Spinning
Register below:
https://prianca-naik.mykajabi.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-1-2

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In the final episode of the three-part alcohol-related series of Empowering Working Moms Podcast – Real Talk with Dr. Prianca Naik, Dr. Prianca talks about setting up healthy boundaries to help deal with and live with an alcoholic spouse. Boundaries are anchored in the concept of self-love – drawing lines to love, honor, and protect ourselves. As someone who grew up in a culture where boundary lines are blurry, she knows how confusing and hard it can be to start standing up for yourself. But when you are ready to reform the culture you have inherited, it will be empowering and satisfying.

In this episode you will learn:

What is boundary
Self-love
How to start setting up boundaries
The culture that affects our ability to set up boundaries
The crucial thing when employing boundaries

Get to know Dr. Prianca Naik on:

Website: https://www.stresscleansemd.com/

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For the second episode of this three-part alcohol-related series of Empowering Working Moms Podcast – Real Talk with Dr. Pianca Naik, Dr. Prianca dive into codependence. She believes that codependence is a major characteristic of those who live with an alcoholic. In reference to the concepts in Melody Beattie’s book Codependent No More, she shares that codependence means more than just being needy and incapable of doing things without the other person. To deal with an alcoholic spouse, ditching codependence is the first big step to take.

In this episode you will learn:

What is codependence
Tendencies of codependence
Breaking the cycle of codependence
Detachment

About Dr. Prianca Naik:

Prianca is a working mom physician who has always learned and practiced science. It is this principle, putting science to life, that helps make everything more manageable.

After years in clinical practice, Prianca found her favorite part of work was troubleshooting everyday problems with patients, but more so colleagues, nurses, social workers, and other female physicians. In helping other professionals to improve their well-being, she realized that she wanted to start transforming her contribution to the world. Motherhood was the compelling catalyst that propelled her to finally take a leap and pursue that change.

Through desperate google searches, work on herself, podcasts, reading, and lifestyle changes, she began to emerge. Throughout life's challenges and adversity, Prianca learned to find happiness within herself regardless of her circumstances. She began working with a coach, which was more powerful than any therapy work she had ever done. This experience motivated her to earn her coaching certification at the International Coach Academy.

Get to know Dr. Prianca Naik on:

Website: https://www.stresscleansemd.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/priancanaikmdcoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

Do you need a safe space and community for professional moms in survival mode, struggling, and feeling alone? Join Healing For Professional Moms-From Surviving To Thriving on Facebook Now:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

My FREE masterclass:

The 4 Secrets to Living a Life You Love: Say Goodbye to Survival Mode, Isolation, and Spinning

Don't worry! If you can't make it, a replay will be emailed

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Episode #20 Living With an Alcoholic Spouse

In this episode Dr. Prianca discusses how to find peace while living with an alcoholic spouse

What you will learn:

Understanding your not alone
How to cope
How lies and addiction go hand in hand

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Watch my free masterclass today on 4 Secrets to Loving Your Life

https://prianca-naik.mykajabi.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-1

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/priancanaikmdcoaching

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

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I’m really excited to bring to you this series on alcoholism. The real talk part of the title of this podcast is that way because I really want to dive in to the deep dark issues no one is talking about. many of my clients are dealing with alcoholic spouses and they feel incredibly ashamed, so I wanted to talk about some of the nuances of living with addiction.

If you’ve never had alcoholism in your family and you find out that your spouse has been hiding drinking from you it may be difficult to discern.

Alcoholism, now known as alcohol use disorder, is a condition in which a person has a desire or physical need to consume alcohol, even though it has a negative impact on their life.

But more than what alcoholism is I really want to describe what it is like to live with an alcoholic because it’s something only people who have alcoholic family members understand.

People feel a lot of shame they feel alone because they isolate themselves and they don’t wanna talk about an alcoholic family member or spouse. Even though we know that there are x number of alcoholics on this earth/in this country.

And yet alcoholism in the family can still be a shameful secret.

I know the way I was raised was that these things (meaning suicide, eating disorders, addiction/anything mental health) didn’t happen to Indian people

Luckily, our generation has a chance to do better.

I want to dive in what it looks like to live with an alcoholic.

An alcoholic’s wife will feel like she’s a single parent. Somehow he can manage work and htat’s about it. If he’s a less functioning alcoholic maybe he can’t even manage that. She will find alcohol in a place it shouldn’t be and here a quick excuse about it.

Her life seems harder than other people’s and yet she doesn’t know why.

He might get unhinged or angry for no good reason or he may pass out early in the evening. He doesn’t contribte much to the household or p[articipate in chores.

He lies about drinking and makes excuses to leave the house to do so.

The alcoholic may come into the house slurring his words stumbling and if you ask him if he’s been drinking, he will flat out say no. (Playing Sherlock Holmes in his drinking will never serve you…but I will discuss that on next week’s episode on codependence).

An alcoholic may act strangely early in the morning due to drinking. They often drink in the middle of the night to quell withdrawal symptoms so if they seem drunk or you know they have a drinking problem, don’t let them drive with your children or be alone with your children.

They will swear they’re sober and show signs of drunkenness. If you suspect he’s been drinking he probably has. Follow your gut. Don’t engage in an argument with them and don’t accus ethem of drinking. You will never win. They will double down on their lies.

Lies and addiction:

Addiction and lying go hand in hand. It’s pretty hard to have one without the other. A particularly intelligent addict with be delusional about his drinking problem and often believe his own lies. That may help soften the blow when you feel betrayed. A client of mine her husband had been drinking and offered to drive her and her son while she was pregnant and she couldn’t believe he would do that. However, he probably believed he was ok to drive.

You cant trust a thing they say when they are not sober and trust is the anchor of love. And not drinking is not the same as sober. And it isnt your secret to keep.

Another strange thing that happens can be rough play. Another client of mine whose husband was an alcoholic before she even knew that. He used to be rough with her at night. She would also notice his decompensating as the evening wore on. When she brought this up to their couples therapist the couples therapist who clearly knew very little about alcoholism suggested that because he was a physician buttoned up performing all day at work, he would unbutton and let loose like a kindergartener. Make no mistake though that this is a sign something is wrong.

When things don’t add up and seem strange…that’s because they are. Often when we are in the thick of a situation we may not want the truth even if we sort of do. Does that resonate?

If your partner’s behavior is unpredictable, he or she may have a mental illness, axis I or axis 2 diagnosis or he or she may have an addiction. Surreptitiously drinking or using drugs.

Maybe you’re at a point where you know what is going on…reflect on how you’ve enabled if at all. Are you constantly rescuing your spouse? Following him or her around to make sure he or she doesn’t drink?

Are you afraid to ask about his drinking because it is triggering for him? Or maybe you feel like you have to walk on eggshells and that’ sno fun.

A lot of times you might feel you’re on a rollercoaster ride that wonn’t stop. Only you can decide if you want to keep on riding or get off. It’s your choice.

I hope I clarified some of the chaos that goes along with living with addiction because it can be so isolating. If any of this is sounding familiar I want you to know you are not alone.

Know there are a lot of professional moms out there dealing with the exact same thing. It’s more common than you think, just secretive.

In the next two episodes I will dive in on how you can create a better life experience for yourself in spite of living with active addiction.

If you want to dive deeper into this work, I have 4 spots opening up for private clients.

Schedule a call today priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me

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Episode #19: Tips to be More Patient

Despite being raised as results-oriented, Dr. Prianca learned how to cultivate patience. Dr. Prianca explains that not being patient doesn't define who you are and is certainly something you can practice and work on. So, enjoy the process, believe in ourselves, and learn to build patience.

What you will learn:

How to be patient with yourself
Zoom out and gain perspective.
Stop feeding into certain narratives
Get to your long-term goals
Cultivating patience moment by moment via mind-body awareness

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Watch my free masterclass today on 4 Secrets to Loving Your Life

https://prianca-naik.mykajabi.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-1

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/priancanaikmdcoaching

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

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[FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW:]

Cultivating patience is a key part of inner peace and a better life regardless of your circumstances.

Patience is "The ability to wait, or to continue doing something despite difficulties, or to suffer without complaining or becoming annoyed.

I was raised to produce results. I'm a results-oriented person, and efficiency and not wasting time are huge for me—so this means I've never been patient.

Waiting is not fun

We are all used to immediate satisfaction and results.

This isn't serving us. Creating more frustration when things aren't happening on our brain's timeline. The antidote and solution to this is patience.

Let's first address patience with ourselves. This means giving ourselves grace. Are you going through a hard time or having a tough day? Can you be patient with yourself? So many clients come to me saying they want to be more patient with their kids. But patience starts with us, and it takes practice.

I challenge you to practice patience then next time you feel yourself demanding more from yourself or trying to give yourself tough love. What about meeting yourself exactly where you are, knowing you're doing your best and this too shall pass?

Patience with where we are in life or goals. Good things take time. Some people get lucky and get quick results, but often time and effort are combined to create our desired results. So…when we are taking the right steps to get to where we want to go, let's embrace the process. Embrace the work instead of the end result. This helps us to have patience. Mel Robbins' manifestation technique emphasizes visualizing the work to get where you want to go and taking pride in the work or action. Try this on for size. Lean into the work. Know what result you want, but try to detach from it and know that it will come in time.

Try to zoom out and gain perspective. This is another key to patience cultivation. For example, when your kids are making a mess, and it is driving you nuts-we've all been there-take a step back before indulging in the frustration. There's a simple solution to clean the mess. If you're tired, you can do it later. If they're old enough, ask for their help. Also, what helps me tremendously is to be grateful my kids are in my home, knowing that when they're grown and move out, I'll probably miss the mess. And, of course, this is a small blip on the radar and shall pass.

When you find yourself being impatient, try to remember or think that nothing has gone wrong. All is as it should be. Often things unfold exactly as they should, but we may not realize that until later. Reflect on some adversities in your life…how did they serve you? It took me three years to apply to medical school. I was impatient the entire time in my 20s…but this did serve me. I am aware of the marathon that is life. I was able to get into a few US MD schools in spite of being told that was unlikely. I know that I can do hard things…so can you! Hence, let's work on enjoying the process, believing in ourselves, and learning to build patience.

Another tip for building patience is to stop feeding into certain narratives. Because of the previous story, three years I took off before medical school, I had a mantra-"things take me longer than others" and it wasn't in a positive light. I realized I needed to ditch this story. So when I feel it coming up, I notice it, acknowledge it as an old frenemy story that doesn't serve me, and then I move on instead of indulging. Notice what stories you have surrounding patience and get rid of the ones that aren't helping.

Focus on shorter-term goals which will help you get to longer-term goals. If you want to lose 20 lbs, it's not going to happen healthily in one month. But you can increase working out and decrease carbs or more mindfully eat on a day-to-day basis, and you'll see the effects.

Doctors, we've all had a long road of education and delayed gratification…remember this. Use this to your advantage in cultivating patience.

Finally, my last, tip-which I return to often and throughout my day, is

Cultivating patience moment to moment via mind-body awareness.

Remember, there is a body. Feel your feet on the floor. Your contact with the chair if you're sitting. The weight of gravity. Feel the stability of the earth beneath you. Breathe. Focus on your breath and the rhythm. This has helped me to be mindful and patient in the line at the grocery store.

If that doesn't work for you, another mindful activity is just noticing whatever you're doing. One task at a time. Notice the water falling on you when you're showering. Or notice your hands on the wheel while driving or the surroundings. Focusing, creating peace, and being present creates more space and patience instead of constantly needing to be filled with stimuli, which is the antithesis of patience.

Pick a few instances that elicit impatience typically for you-traffic, waiting in the grocery line, or anything else. Practice a couple of the discussed methods today and see how it goes.

If you want to dive deeper into this work, I have four spots opening up for private clients.

Schedule a call today priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me

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Episode #18: Extinguish Emotional Exhaustion Through Not Worrying About What Other People Think

Even in her 30s, Dr. Prianca admits to still seeking her parents' approval. As she reflects on her own experience, Dr. Prianca explains how growing up as a people pleaser will leave you emotionally exhausted. She explains why social media is fake, why looking inward is essential, and how to sit well with other people's disapproval.

What you will learn:

Other peoples' opinions can drain you
Social media is fake
It takes discipline to live life intentionally
Why the book Untamed is so popular
Instead of worrying about what others think, ask yourself this instead…

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Watch my free masterclass today on 4 Secrets to Loving Your Life

https://prianca-naik.mykajabi.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-1

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:
https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik
https://www.instagram.com/priancanaikmdcoaching
https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW:]

I want to talk about this today because many of my clients feel paralyzed in several areas because they are worried about what others would think.

Areas of paralysis include: making a change like leaving an abusive spouse, letting people know what is really going on inside their houses because they're embarrassed. They're afraid of the external façade being extinguished

They're afraid that if their friends knew what was happening…addicted spouse, abusive relationship, toxic work environment that they would judge them for staying or tell them to leave when they're not ready. So they isolate themselves

They think they're the only ones in this boat. They think they have an abnormal situation and no one could relate.

SO then they're even more isolated an lonely sometimes in addition to having a spouse who tries to isolate them further.

Worrying about what people think causes the following problems:

Wastes time and precious brain energy

It isolates us

It makes us feel bad

It can keep us stuck

Why do we worry about what people think?

We want to belong

We want a sense of tribe

We want external approval

We are people-pleasers…please refer to episode #4 on combatting people pleasing.

Many of us worried about what our parents would think of our life from a young age into adulthood as well.

Our parents train us to not air our dirty laundry and brag a lot (this is pervasive in South Asian culture)

When people judge what we are doing or don't like it, it's uncomfortable because we all just want to belong and be liked. Once we can actually sit with this discomfort and notice it-it's often a vibration in the body-keep noticing and by noticing we can neutralize it. Once it's a vibration we can identify it for what it is and soften its power over us. Actually, we empower ourselves and begin to take hold of our own experience.

I encourage you to practice sitting with discomfort or tell your parents something of which they wouldn't approve. Tune in to your reaction, the discomfort in your body. Stick to your guns. See how it goes.

The concepts in life coaching are very simple, but they must constantly be practiced in order to actually implement. Our patterns the unhelpful and unhealthy ones that we've engaged and have been occurring for so long but of course it takes discipline an offer to transformer selves. But we can most certainly fake it 'til we make it and embody a different method.

I want to discuss how to stop worrying about what other people think because this will remove one major contributor to emotional exhaustion and stuckness.

Here's what to do:

Look inward

It's simple but not easy.

It's so much easier to project our own judgments and fears on to other people. Often we do something that we know is the right thing to do, but might be against the grain of how we were raised. Which I do talk about in the previous episode-episode number 17 "How to Move Forward When How You Were Raised Conflicts with Your Current Values." And when we have this dissonance within us, it's much easier to fixate and perseverate on what this person's reaction would be because then we are off the hook. We don't have to look inward and take a good hard look at ourselves because that's much more difficult and painful. That is a part of the deep internal work we must do to get to a better place.

And to judge ourselves is one of the hardest things to do. It's easy to gossip and judge other people's actions when we don't want to examine ourselves. So the second step in not worrying about what people think includes asking yourself why you care what that person thinks and I turned inward and ask yourself what is my opinion about this? How do I judge myself? How do I reflect poorly in front of myself?

Take some time to write this down-maybe in the notes app of your phone and run through this exercise when your brain starts going down the road of what will he think or she think. It sucks but it is SO helpful in the long-run to build a sense of self, self-confidence, self-love, and focus. This practice helps to keep your brain out of spinning and confusion and not deplete energy which none of us has any spare to waste!

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Episode #17: How to Move Forward When How You Were Raised Conflicts with Your Current Values

Dr. Prianca shares how she once worked with a client suffering from an abusive marriage, only to slowly work their way into realizing that the real issue is with the client's dysfunctional upbringing. Ultimately, she explains how one can normalize going against taboos, beliefs, and programming that make life miserable.

What you will learn:

How you were raised can impact you more than youthink
Awareness is the first step to breaking negative cycles
How to forge your own way

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Watch my free masterclass today on 4 Secrets to Loving Your Life

https://prianca-naik.mykajabi.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-1

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:
https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik
https://www.instagram.com/priancanaikmdcoaching
https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:
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[FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW:]

Indian people never get divorced. That felt like a fact I grew up knowing. What I also grew up knowing was that a lot of my aunties and uncles were trapped in unhappy marriages. Openly miserable. Unhappy and constantly gossiping about other people's lives. Being competitive, trying to one up each other with a better house or fancier car. Or whose kid could get into the best college.

Personal growth and development. Mental health. Questioning how they were raised. This wasn't in the mix at all.

Mental health as I knew it was my father saying "you must PRODUCE" regardless of my effort.

What I knew as normal: most people had arranged marriages. They were unhappy and made it work. Made it work. That's funny right. What works for each person is different for him or her. But a lot of what worked for them doesn't work for us. Because we aren't in india.

Many of us are born and raised here. The internet exists. Lots of free-flowing information. Striving to do better than our parents as they did too.

Mental health is more acceptable to discuss as physician suicide is on the rise. Maybe something needs to change.

Today I want to talk about how you might be raised. And how that may impact you a lot more deeply than you think.

I am going to give an example of a southasian client of mine. An attorney.

She was never good enough always messing up in her parents' eyes. Nothing she did was good enough. When she got into a top 14 law school that was finally good. She "made it". When it came time to get married they wanted her to marry someone from a good family and good on paper.

She meet a handsome, charming, Indian doctor. Her parents were thrilled. She was finally doing the "right thing"

Once she married him, things got ugly on the inside. He would have fits and abuse her about the dishes not being done correctly. He was unpredictable. He would punch holes in walls. One time he hit her. She would gtell her mother about these issues because she was too ashamed to discuss them with her friends. She was afraid her friends would tell her to divorce him. Her mother would reply that "everyone has problems in their marriages." Because divorce wasn't an option.

It wasn't until coaching with me, getting clear on her vision, understanding that she had been programmed a certain way that she realized how dysfunctional her home was. Her mom often abused her father so this behavior was normalized for her. What she realized with coaching though was that she didn't want to model this for her children.

She would often beat herself up about being "stupid" enough to marry such a person when there were early red flags. After she started working with me, she learned her to be gentle with herself and to give herself compassion. To acknowledge that she was programmed from a young age to 1) think abuse and dysfunction normal and 2) to marry an Indian doctor/someone good on paper 3)to make marriage work no matter what because that's all she ever observed.

As I often talk about…awareness… that's the key. The first step in changing, breaking free from the cycles and negative patterns to which you are accustomed.

She was able to heal herself, forgive her past self, like we talked about on last week's episode, for overlooking red flags to do what she thought was the right thing. To make her parents proud.

In south Asian families, gaining our parents' approval is huge. From going to a good college, getting a higher degree, being successful, and marrying "the right" and I say that with air quotes person.

This programming is deep. It can cloud us from what we actually want. Because living for other people, including our own parents, will never make us happy. What will make us happy is living a life that aligns with our own values.

Our values can be partially ours and the good ones we want to carry on from our parents.

There are also things we don't want to carry forward.

Back to my client: once she realized how dysfunctional her house was with abuse. She got clarity on whether this was acceptable to her regardless of what other people or her parents thought. Life eventually became unlivable for her. (probably because abuse tends to escalate over time).

She created boundaries and decided abuse wasn't acceptable to her. When her perfect on paper husband continued to abuse her, she realized nothing was going to change. She had changed. What was acceptable to her at the start of their marriage no longer was. She came to a decision. It was time for the marriage to end. Even though she had been taught that you don't get a divorce EVER. Even when her father told her she was setting a bad example for her children. Even though she was ashamed for her family to think she had failed or that her seemingly perfect life was so imperfect. The jig was up. And she was okay with that. She learned to do what was right for her. Separate from her southasian upbringing. She was paving her own way. Coaching helped her to gain the clarity she needed, to live a life aligning with HER values, to make clean decisions without spinning in confusion about what others do and think. She found herself confident, free, and at peace.

She also learned that no one else really cared as much about her own life as she did. No one understood her day to day issues.

She had to decide what worked for her and ultimately she realized divorce would never be okay by her. Because she was brought up to never get one. When she filed, she told me, she was so unhappy. She struggled with how doing the right thing hurting so much was counterintuitive.

Sometimes our programming from a young age dictates our decisions as adults. Of course, we allow this. If we are able to acknowledge how we were programmed and make an active decision as to whether or not we want to subscribe to that particular programming, we can empower ourselves and take hold of our lives.

If you, like my client, know in your gut your marriage for example is dysfunctional, that things aren't going to change and the right thing is to leave but you can't bring yourself to make a move. You feel stuck and paralyzed. Remember to give yourself grace, remove your self-judgment, follow your instinct, know you may not enjoy every right decision, know you can always change your mind, and do the hard things with self-love.

Please be patient with yourself when making big scary daunting decisions. Trust yourself that you will find your way. We have a chance to do things better than the previous generations, break cycles of trauma.

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Episode #16: How to Deal With a Narcissist: Understanding and Tips

Sometimes, we encounter individuals in our lives that make us doubt ourselves, do things we don’t want, and make us take on the blame for something we don’t have control over. In the presence of such, Dr. Prianca reminds the importance of staying aware because you may be in the company of a narcissist. Dr. Prianca goes over the tips that help one identify and counter the influences of a narcissistic person.

What you will learn:

Most Axis II mental disorders cant be medicated
What are manipulation, gaslighting, and blame shifting?
Awareness gives you a view of what needs to be changed
Having boundaries, too, is self-love
Why you should revisit episode 11

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Watch my free masterclass today on 4 Secrets to Loving Your Life

https://prianca-naik.mykajabi.com/4-secrets-to-living-a-life-you-ll-love-1

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:
https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik
https://www.instagram.com/stresscleansemd
https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW:]

Chaos at home? How to deal with a narcissist.

Narcissists

Signs of:

Life/the world revolves around them-their perspective their feelings

Sense of entitlement

Need excessive admiration

Arrogant

Lack empathy for others

In your parents—often you are an extension of them…this is not a fact. We are separate people from our parents and children

A childhood focus on competition and success often breed narcissism

Genetic

lack of psychological and emotional attachment to a parental figure can result in the child's perception of themselves as unimportant and unconnected to other people,

trauma, unpredictable or unreliable parental caregiving

excessive praise criticism

The purpose of this episode is to help give you distance form anyone narcissistic or who is a narcissist in your life.

Narcissists often manipulate, gaslight, and blame-shift.

When you’re deep in the web of this, it is hard to see clearly.

By learning about narcissism, their tactics, you can start to gain distance and not get sucked into the toxicity. Narcissists will often make you feel like YOU are crazy…when they often have a skewed sense of reality-one they have created and believe.

Let’s go over the terms next now that we’ve discussed narcissistic characteristics.

Manipulation. I think we are all familiar with this term. : to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one's own advantage

So a narcissist may drop certain statements to elicit a response from you. The more aware you are, the more you can combat this. Awareness is key in the process of creating peace in your life.

Once you are aware, you won’t get sucked in. Keep practicing. It takes time. There is a pull sometimes, to participate in dysfunction, but we must acknowledge that pull and keep ourselves standing straight and high.

Gaslighting. Narcissists are really good at this. As are addicts.

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which the abuser attempts to sow self-doubt and confusion in their victim’s mind. Typically, gaslighters are seeking to gain power and control over the other person, by distorting reality and forcing them to question their own judgment and intuition.

For example, in an argument, you may have told the person who is gaslighting you something the other day. They will flat out tell you you never told them that to maintain their power in the argument. Knowing this, you can decide not to fight back and waste energy on proving your point. Most narcissists aren’t interested in getting help and aren’t going ot change. Realizing this is empowering because you can then decide how you are going to handle him or her. Not engage in fights, not try to prove a point. Realize you’re getting gaslit, that you’re not crazy.

Once you have your awareness heightened, you can decide and not participate as much. Now remember, this will probably drive the narcissist crazy and he or she will try to perturb you, get a rise on you even more. He probably knows how to push your buttons and will do it.

It’s up to you to decide how you want to handle it. To not get involved, to walk away, to participate which is not a good idea, or to perhaps cut this person out of your life if possible.

Similarly, addicts gaslight about using. Alcoholics will hide alcohol or be visibly drunk and deny drinking to the point where you may question your own instincts. Remember to trust your gut and not to let him shake you. And dissociate, create space between you and them and their disease.

Now to address the topic blame-shifting. Narcissists tend to be blameless. Nothing is ever their fault, but instead it’s the people and circumstances around them that are at fault. This happens in addiction as well. For example, alcoholics will blame their drinking on a trigger. Ie. Flying on airplanes is anxiety-inducing for me and that’s why I drank. Well you drank because you chose to drink. The flying is an excuse.

A narcissist will have a responsibility of some sort. They don’t follow through and will blame you htat you didn’t explain properly or some other reason. You’re ot blame in the end. They may say this outright or in a more circuitous way. So instead of taking the blame on and feeling bad about yourself, you can see it for what it is. When we see clearly and are aware, we can be present with that, notice it, neutralize it, and then decide what we are goigin to do, then take action. This is my model of dealing with any and all tense situations.

Write this down and try it.

Once we are aware of blame-shifting, we can neutralize it and take its power over us away. Then we are empowered. See how this works?

This way of life allows us to break the cycle maybe unhealthy cycles we have engaged in and pave a new path. Distance ourselves from getting sucked into old unhealthy patterns. This is how we create peace and freedom, build confidence.

Sometimes we end up in a place in life where we think to ourselves…how did I get here? You did have something to do with it. But I don’t want you to take on a blaming attitude towards yourself. It’s an awareness of owning how we got hwere we are today. Think about your childhood, were your core needs met? Did you feel loved unconditionally? A client of mine realized that her mother was a narcissist. Growing up in that atmosphere is very unhealthy. She never felt good enough. Everything was always her fault. Her mother would stop talking to her for months at a time in her 20’s for silly reasons like “being disrespectful” all power plays she now realizes. She also realizes hwo unhealthy that was. She went on to marry a narcissist. He was great on paper, super charming, made her feel loved. He sucked her in and then begain abusing her mentally and physically. She realized several years into her relationship with him that he had been hiding his alcoholism from her. Everything clicked. She then learned about her own codependent tendencies as taught to her by her narcissistic mother. My client was always responsible for her mother’s happiness and feelings. Her mother would often say “your problems are my problems or why are you doing this to me?” or when she would complain about her husband to her mother, her mother would talk about how much struggle her mother was having because her daughter was getting abused.

My client would feel guilty for everything and often try to control her spouse by walking on eggshells in hopes she wouldn’t get abused. She would give ultimatums about his drinking in hopes that he would stop. None of this worked.

She would feel frustrated and miserable.

Once we started working together, she learned what codependence was and decided she no longer wanted to function that way with her mother or spouse. She then began to create boundaries. Meaning if x then y. She would tell her spouse, if you abuse me, I will leave the house. She felt empowered. She had a plan. She relinquished any and all responsibility over his drinking. He would abuse her in spurts. Leaving felt overwhelming. But…as she learned ot love herself through coaching with me and making clean decisions, things became clearer and clearer when they had once been so confusing.

She began to truly love herself. Something she had never done before. She asked herself, if I loved myself, would I keep putting myself in harm’s way. The answer was no. she created a boundary for herself. NOT HIM. She did let him in on it though. She told him if you abuse me one more time, I am pretty sure I’m going to get off this endless rollercoaster ride. He physically abused her and she left. She filed for divorce about a year later.

She later told me that without coaching it would have taken her years to get clarity and finally leave. Once she moved out she felt that the air was lighter and she could get the clarity on the relationship that she needed. She was too in it when she lived with him. She’s never been happier.

Have a narcissist in your life? Here’s how to cope

Learning about narcissism

Having labels for what they do

When you feel you’re being lied to to the point where you are questioning your own reality, ask yourself if you’re being gaslit

It’s empowering

I hear you

We can agree to disagree

I’m not going to engage in this argument

Have a plan: if a narcissist starts raging at you, decide you’ll walk out of the room. (create your own boundary; you don’t have to keep them in the loop about it. It’s just for you).

Give yourself compassion; the narcissist may try to blame you for everything and you may find yourself wanting to fix him or her. But it’s not your fault.

Focus on maintaining your peace and taking care of yourself.

Let go of your need for them to see things your way

Decide not to take what they say seriously or personally

Take time to yourself and get space when you need it

Love and accept yourself as you are

Remove yourself from tantrums

Know you can’t change anyone except yourself, including the narcissist in your life.

Connect with yourself. Learn to love yourself and keep yourself safe above all else; this will naturally help guide you with the narcissist.

These tools I’ve discussed today will help unconfuse you, keep you from going back and forth and spinning and get you into clarity and eventually peace.

If you have problems similar to the client’s problems I just mentioned, get in touch with me to talk and come up with a plan to move through this mental exhaustion and get to a lighter, free, more confident place.

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Episode #15: Healing Mental Exhaustion Through Self-Forgiveness

Is self-care the antidote to generally every difficulty, stress, and struggle? For Dr. Prianca—it’s not. To be at peace with our efforts and to cultivate a healthy approach to anything we do in life, Dr. Prianca explains why self-forgiveness must be learned. She explains why self-forgiveness is a practice and how you can do it in practical applications.

What you will learn:

Why Dr. Prianca is annoyed by the term self-care
You need to stop name-calling yourself
Prianca Naik on the importance of self-forgiveness
Self-compassion is a practice
Why self-approval must always come first

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:
https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik
https://www.instagram.com/stresscleansemd
https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW:]

Self-care is a major term thrown around as the antidote for so many difficulties. Al anon talks about self-care as a way to nourish one’s self when near an addict recovered or active.

What I want to talk about is the self: self focus is a part of my program

Now I know what you’re thinking self focus?! That’s selfish!!

But truly to be at peace and happy, cultivating a relationship with ourselves is critical. A part of this process is self-forgiveness.

Mnay of us grow up in homes where an A- wasn’t good enough. Whatever mistakes I made were drilled into me, discussed for years after. One of my family members still brings up something I did 22 years ago! With that kind of a childhood, and maybe you can take a minute to reflect upon yours…of course I am hard on myself. So self-forgiveness is a critical part of our healing process.

Were you told what you did was good enough growing up? Or was nothing ever good enough? Did your parents forgive you for your mistakes or did they hammer you with criticism? How about you? Are you hard on yourself? Do you expect a lot from yourself and maybe even others? Are you beating yourself up? Take some time to reflect on these questions…because once we figure out where we came from, how we grew up, we can give our current selves compassion…even our past selves. Why we did what we did…even if our current self doesn’t agree with past decisions.

We do things we have regrets of course…we are human. Especially our perfectionist tendencies make us even more hard on ourselves. Beating ourselves up by self-scolding and negative self-talk. One thing I will say which I practice and say to my clients as well…is to eliminate any name calling of yourself in your head. When you drop something for example don’t automatically call yourself stupid…if you do, stop yourself in your tracks and practice this.

Day to day errors we must accept as a part of the human experience. As I;ve said before, remember that resistance is the cause of so much human suffering. So resisting a mistake or going over and over again in your head what went wrong only adds an extra layer of suffering. You can actually decide to accept a mistake, notice what you’re feeling the vibration in your body. And take action in deciding how to move forward.

The past is useful for learning, but not dwelling. The past is useful for learning, not dwelling. We can decide to learn from the past but not ruminate.

When we make intentional decisions, we take back our power and live our lives as opposed to feeling like life is living us. This is how we empower ourselves.

In worrying about what other people would think about certain aspects of our lives, we shift our focus away from ourselves and onto others. This is the easier thing to do…the easy way out. Because what we are really afraid of is our own judgement of ourselves. So can we show ourselves compassion and forgive ourselves for what we think may not have been the best behavior or decisions? We can create more inner ease and peace. We can carry on a bit lighter. We can probably sleep better.

If we wrong someone, we can ask for their forgiveness and forgive ourselves at the same time to truly create closure.

Also understanding why you are the way you are. What was your childhood like? Did your parents meet your core needs? Unconditional love, safety, etc….any traumas you may have experienced. This is something that is more in the realm of therapy but worth exploring in therapy in order to move forward with having more self-compassion and forgiveness.

I highly recommend the mindful self compassion workbook by Kristin Neff. Init she talks about

embracing our imperfections in order to build the necessary resilience to thrive.

Being able to be present for others means showing self-love, compassion and forgiveness for ourselves.

We all have made mistakes. So working through the process of forgiving ourselves and past behaviors, seeing if we can meet ourselves part way. Understanding that person from 20 years ago or even 2 years ago. Where was she? What was she thinking? Why did she do what she did?

Odds are, you did the best you could given whatever you knew at the time and whomever you were.

I want you to think of one major thing that haunts you from your past. Some “failure” or shame you have. Who and go through who you were back then. Who influenced you. Why did you behave in a certain way.

For me, this is not going to an ivy league school. I was shamed and berated and called a failure throughout my 20’s until I got into medical school.

This haunted me more than I realized because the teacher in a writing course I took, Molly, form the Brooklyn writers collective pointed out the recurring theme of discussing getting into wash u in st louis which isn’t an ivy league school. And how I should write about it to make my peace with it.

Anything that comes up for you regularly please consider doing the aforementioned exercise

Now think of a shameful behavior or decision that you wouldn’t want people to know. Something you never talk about but is in the shadows…what comes up for you when you think about this instance? what would you say to a friend who had this identical situation? Would you find a way to have compassion for them? I will guess the answer is yes. So can you allocate some of that forgiveness and compassion for yourself?

Life coaching and finding your way out of exhaustion doesn’t mean saying bye to all of your imperfections. It means constantly working on yourself, being aware, and doing the hard work. The other evening I was working on a very important document and I read it 4 times. I stayed up late, messing with my sleep…the first story I told myself was: I’m being a perfectionist I’m obsessing. I then acknowledged this…I was beating myself up…and changed my narrative to this is very important for x reason and that is why I am working so hard.

When it comes to mistakes, errors, missteps, remember to go easy on yourself. Practice self- compassion and forgiveness. And after we forgive ourselves, we can also reflect on lessons learned so we don’t repeat the regrettable behavior.

We are always learning and growing right? We have nothing to prove…We have to love ourselves and approve of ourselves first.

Remembering that life is a process, we aren’t perfect inherently. We do our best. We manage a lot. We are always learning and growing. There are often new opportunities presenting themselves, we just need our eyes wide open for them. This can shift our perspective to a more open, happy peaceful one.

In her book, Self-Compassion, Kristen Neff says that “self-compassion honors the fact that all human beings are fallible, that wrong choices and feelings of regret are inevitable.”

The more we can accept this, the better off we will be.

We won’t go through life w out making mistakes or even hurting people inadvertently. We will always make mistakes…we can learn to accept and make peace with this.

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Episode #14: Moving through Divorce and Beyond with Dr. Sari Green

Dr. Sari Green shares with Dr. Prianca what it felt like to suddenly be left alone in a journey that you started with someone. After discovering her husband’s double life and divorce, Dr. Sari didn’t have much choice to choose but to continue with her life as a single mother and physician. She shares her two cents on post-divorce identity shifts, the pressure of perfection on career women, and the beautiful side of the dismantling effects of divorce on a person’s life.

What you will learn:

Sari Green on how divorce can dismantle everything in your life
Identity shifts after divorce are sometimes forced
Type-A women are allowed to have imperfect track records in career and life
Why you should sit with your feelings
How to reclaim your agency in the midst of not feeling in control

About Dr. Sari Green:

Dr. Sari Green is a physician with a background in both Traditional Chinese Medicine and western medicine. She is a single mom, certified life coach, and general surgeon, now working non-clinically as a subject matter expert in CDI. She created Lotus Coaching to help women shift from surviving to thriving through big, disorienting life transitions.

With extensive experience with addiction, infidelity, and high-conflict divorce, Dr. Green works with women who want to uncover the infinite possibility buried under the ruins of their dismantled reality. She provides 1:1 coaching helping clients release the past, reclaim the present, and create a bright and beautiful future.

Dr. Sari Green can be reached at:

https://www.sarigreenmd.com/

sari@greenlotuscoaching.com

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:
https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik
https://www.instagram.com/stresscleansemd
https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

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If you are feeling stuck are a professional mom with the seemingly perfect life but you’re silently suffering on the inside, in survival mode and you’ve tried self-help, self-care, therapy, spinning on your Peloton and feel like this isn’t helping you getting you to where you want to be and peace, freedom, confidence seem unattainable, book a call to chat with me to realize that it’s not. That thriving is possible for you even if it seems like it’s not. www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me

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Episode #12: Self-Love in Divorce: You're Not Alone

Dr. Prianca welcomes the podcast's first-ever guest to talk about a challenging topic to discuss—divorce. In Dr. Maneesha Ahluwalia's own divorce experience, she learned that it's normal to feel like a failure or that you failed the relationship. What happens after you entertain these thoughts is the crucial part. Dr. Maneesha explains where a divorce begins, why she's not afraid to share her 'whole' story, what she discovered possible in her post-divorce journey, and more.

What you will learn:

Divorce is taboo in some cultures; hence some don't know how to go through it
One South Asian doctor's divorce process
There can be love on the other side

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Check out her website:

www.stresscleansemd.com

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:
https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik
https://www.instagram.com/stresscleansemd
https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

Dr. Maneesha helps Indian professionals feel joy and curiosity rather than frustration and resentment with each interaction with their parents. We get to feel love for our parents and be proud of our lifestyle choices so that we can connect with our parents, while there is still time. She is a Professional Certified Life Coach, Author, Speaker, and Board Certified Infectious Disease Physician. Get in touch with Dr. Maneesha:

Schedule a complimentary discovery call here to learn more about working with me:

https://LifeCoachingwithManeeshaAhluwaliaMD.as.me/

Website: https://www.lifecoachingwithdrahluwalia.com

Instagram: @LifeCoachingForIndians (business)

@DrManeeshaA (personal)

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drmaneeshaa

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/maneesha-ahluwalia

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyJEr36T49nNUarPXKMzX-g

Email: drmaneeshaahluwalia@gmail.com

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In this episode you will learn:

What self-love is
How to practice it
Why it is beneficial

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:
https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik
https://www.instagram.com/stresscleansemd
https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Today I want to talk about self-love because it is a tenet of peace, freedom, confidence and happiness. Without it you can’t properly love others either or demonstrate healthy relationships to your children.

Self-love. Sounds corny right? Corny or not, it’s something we all need to learn.

So many of us grew up watching Disney movies we were raised to find love and yet loving ourselves was never in the mix. I’m pretty sure we did love ourselves when we were born because we didn’t know any better until things got in the way and destroyed that. Maybe we began to believe love from our parents was conditional or we could only be worthy of love if we were perfect or thin or achieving all of the things-a successful career etc.

But I observe in my small children their love for themselves and try to take a cue!

Let’s try this: Being down with your weird and wonderful self

We are multi-faceted, complex creatures. We have a ton of thoughts and feelings swirling around at all times. We do things we are not proud of sometimes. But we can learn, with work, determination and effort, to love ALL PARTS of ourselves. Whatttt? Yes, this is possible

We don’t have to hate anything about ourselves. I remember 7 years ago I told my therapist I loathed my anxiety. Loathed. That’s such a strong word.

I’ve come a long ways since then. I’ve developed methods to manage all emotions including anger and anxiety practicing mindfulness and no longer feel that way.

Think about our attitudes toward dear friends or family members. Often we have compassion for them and their mistakes or whatever they perceive as negative. We will tell them not to be hard on themselves yet be so hard on ourselves.

Learning to have compassion for ourselves is a key part of learning to love ourselves.

Self-forgiveness as well. That is a practice that is a necessary in self-love.

So how can you forgive yourself?
Just a quick warning: this is deep internal work. It’s not easy. But if you are interested in getting out of dysfunction or even into a better, less painful place, this is what is required. Going to tough places in your brain.

So grab a pen and piece of paper…pause if you’re driving or come back later. And write down what you believe to be all of your past mistakes. If you don’t want to write them, simply brainstorm them. It may be a short or long list.

Allow yourself to feel the negative emotions that accompany this reflection.

Once you feel the negativity and sit with them, realizing it won’t kill you…you also practice sitting in discomfort which is critical in leading a more peaceful, free life.

And then you can move on. If you write these down on a sheet of paper you can rip the paper up and throw it after you’ve sat with your emotions.

Now that we’ve addressed self-forgiveness you might be wondering how to go aobut learning to love yourself if you’ve listened this far:

The process comes from Kamal Ravikant and his book Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It.

In any new process we want our brain to automatically participate in, we must put in work. Self-directed neuroplasticity is when you intentionally rewire your brain to create positive habits. People do this primarily through active reflection. Yes, the term is a mouthful — but it's also a powerful, science-based method to break undesirable habits and create new, healthy ones

What if you don’t believe it? Doesn’t matter. Your role is to lay down the pathway for doing it. Connect the neural pathways and your body and mind will respond automatically.

Kamal Ravikant’s process:

Step 1: Mental Loop

A thought loop is a pathway ebedded via use and habit.

You can reverse this process. You can create your own focused mental loops. Repeat, “I love myself” again and again and again. Lay the pathway for that loop to run over and over. Eventually, it will take hold whether you believe it or not.

Step 2: Meditation
Each day, the author listens to a 7-minute piece of music that he likes and thinks, “I love myself.”
Inhale > Think “I love myself” > Exhale >Release whatever thoughts you have.

I would say being present with yourself

Dinner alone, try alone time and enjoy your own company

Step 3: Question
“If I love myself truly and deeply, would I let myself experience this?” The answer was always “no” for the author.
This question gently shifts your focus from wherever you are to self-love.

Make the commitment and make it on paper. Make the vow to yourself to live your truth. Write down whatever it is that speaks to you. The words don’t matter. Just make sure it comes from you and it is in your own words. That’s how the magic will happen.

Similarly, Kamal suggests we do this to ourselves: go right up against a mirror, face to face with yourself (focus on the left eye) and keep repeating, “I love myself” gently for 5 minutes (the number of times you say it doesn’t matter). What matters is you look at yourself while saying it.

Love yourself truly deeply
Can edit
Repeat
Put where can see daily

Create an easy ritual of self love in case you get lazy

Self love comes in handy when dealing with difficult situations. The decisions.

Write a Self-love love letter

Ask what your friends love about you

And most importantly make a commitment to do this.
Keep a reminder that this is something you will try to do everyday
And with practice you can learn to love yourself.

Trust loving yourself and not abandoning yourself will help you simplify your life, make cleaner decisions (which I’ll discuss in a future episode) and love your life.

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Episode #10: Peace and Freedom through Catastrophization Management

Dr. Prianca reflects back on an old journal entry from the early days of the pandemic. In this entry, we see how catastrophization can deplete and exhaust us. Despite catastrophization being a natural defense mechanism, Dr. Prianca explains why it's a total waste of brain space, the common examples of how working moms catastrophize, and mindfulness as a catastrophization tool.

What you will learn:

What is catastrophization?
Examples of catastrophization
The role of mindfulness in managing catastrophizing thoughts

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:
https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik
https://www.instagram.com/stresscleansemd
https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW:]

Today I want to talk about catastrophization

What? What is that?

Ok, I didn't even know what this was until I started getting in to mindfulness meditation and reading Jon Kabat Zinn.

Catastrophization is assuming the worst-case scenario. This can be accompanied by obsessive worrying and spinning.

I used to do this constantly-catastrophize and it honestly made my life a living hell. I look at journal entries from a few years ago and see how much I was suffering. I didn't even realize it because I was in the thick of it.

I need to address it to increase your awareness of it so that you can join me in my journey of dealing with it.

Catastrophization is happiness thief. So let's face it and beat the shit out of it as best we can!

Before I give you tips and tricks to deal with catastrophization, I want to share a journal entry I found from the beginning of the pandemic in march of 2020.

The worst case scenario with covid is death. One of my partners is covid positive he is in his early 30s is certainly not ready to die. He has a six month Old infant at home and must be going crazy worrying about her. I think about him and how corona could get me next. It horrifies me. I just think that I have to get through my day and know that if I want to quit I forgive myself.

We are all grieving the life that we once knew wondering when we will see it again. It is a loss. Last night my husband was grieving and asked me what's going to happen to us? Unfortunately I do not have the answer to that. But I try to remain calm as I hold him and tell him we will just take it one day at a time. Physicians are dying all around us and I am a physician. I know that 80% of people who are affected do just fine but it seems like the doctors are dying so then I wonder am I going to die too.

During that time, it was important to work on not catastrophize. Every cough, sneeze, mask below the nose would make my throat have a squeezing sensation and I would notice it and pull myself out of the rabbit hole. That I wasn't going to get covid and I wasn't going to die. And here I am today proving that the optimistic stance was actually true.

I want you to know that you're not alone in catastrophizing. Many of us catastrophize. Maybe we are trained to do it at a young age or we learn it in medical training.

Doctors are taught to have catastrophic thinking. We must rule out the worst case scenario upon hearing any medical complaint. This is the best thing to do for the patient and also important medicolegally. Catastrophization is applauded-which is fine until the habit shows up outside of work.

When it bleeds into our personal lives, we start to suffer.

Before I began this powerful work, I used to catastrophize about EVERYTHING. It was exhausting. Child has a fever? Assume he's going to die. Someone at work says I need to talk to you, I assume I'm in big trouble. Get an unexpected phone call from my mom, assume shes calling me to tell me she has cancer.

What a way to live! When we constantly catastrophize, we are creating our own hell. It's a self-created hell. But the beauty of the self-created hell, is that we have to power to dismantle this hell!

I want to give you an example of catastrophization and coping strategies of

A client of mine a physician mother of two small kids.

Before coaching: As the pandemic set in, in a pre-vaccine era, every sneeze, cough, and cold set off her anxiety and panic at work as an allergist. She struggled with feeling this way all day every day. She would catastrophize re getting covid and passing it on to her young children.

After coaching: With awareness of the catastrophic thinking, she was able to sit with it and then use concrete anti anxiety coping strategies to pull herself out of the catastrophic brainado and take control of her experience.

I remember in January of 2020 my 22 month old had a temperature of 106 and I had to walk myself off the ledge of thinking he would die. I felt the anxiety in my throat and noticed it. Breathed. Took action to give him Tamiflu and Tylenol and it passed. He is fine now.

Do you catastrophize a lot?

Catastrophization is our protective mechanism to keep us safe. But more often then not we don't need it.

assuming the worst-case scenario is often accompanied by obsessive worrying and spinning.

The problem with catastrophizing is that we waste our precious time and brain space. Exhausting ourselves unnecessarily. And when we deplete ourselves of our finite energy, we have little to give to the areas in life where we want. As in energy to give to our families or relationships or careers.

Ok so how do we deal with catastrophization, how do we manage it and own it so it doesn't own us? How do we tap into our own power of owning the catastrophization?

This is what you do, grab a pen and paper and make a note of it so you can keep practicing it.

Now that you know what catastrophization is, you can be aware of it.

Notice your thought or feeling.

Where is it in your body? Is it a squeezing? Is it a pressure?

When I feel anxious or stressed, I usually feel a tightness in my throat.

The more I notice that and the more familiar I get with it, the more I realize it's not harming me. The increased familiarity with the sensation makes me more comfortable in a way. Comfortable with anxiety? WHATTT?

This is it. A major step forward in managing our minds. Empowering ourselves to optimize our life experience.

Once you're aware and acknowledging that catastrophization is happening, notice that you're doing it or about to do it.

Then, stop yourself in your tracks from going down the rabbit hole.

Practice mindfulness:

If you're having trouble pulling yourself out of the rabbit hole, try noticing your body. I say to myself there is a body and feel the weight of gravity on my body. This makes me feel grounded. You can also take a few deep breaths. If that's not working, you can also notice your surroundings. This will pull you out of your own head.

Maybe these tactics sound kooky to you, but I promise they are the key to getting control of your life and living with peace and ease.

It won't work at first. Meaning you might stop yourself after going deep into the rabbit hole. But as you continue to practice Awareness and stopping, you'll catch yourself earlier and earlier.

The next time you find yourself catastrophizing, just acknowledge your brain is doing it.

Then-make a decision. Take back your power. Decide to not give the catastrophic thought air time.

And if you're feeling especially ballsy, decide to assume the best instead of worst case scenario.

I parked in a seemingly shady parking garage recently; before I knew it, I was imagining my car getting stolen and broken into. Should I periodically check on my car? I pondered.

That's as far as I got. I stopped myself in my tracks, mid-catastrophization, and decided to not go any further. In fact, I assumed that the car would be okay. Worrying about it would make no difference in the outcome, but would take up precious brain space.

This is a small window into what helps me live a lighter life, in peace, and empowered.

And remember, after we acknowledge and pull ourselves out of the rabbit hole, we can take it one step further and assume the best case scenario.

Is your back killing you or you injured your ankle? Feeling frustrated like you'll never get better? How about assuming your body will heal. Because it probably will.

Assuming the best. It's a lot more difficult to do, but makes life a lot more fun.

It's fucking delightful. I'm not joking.

And in the backdrop, have faith in yourself that you can handle whatever comes your way. Just like you always have just like you always will.

Open yourself to all possibilities and trust that you can cope

Always remember that this too shall pass

And if you still don't believe this, think about a tough time you got through and handled. You're resilient. You're still here. That incident didn't kill you. Probably made you stronger. So remember that, keep that in the back of your head as your evidence of how you can and will navigate any difficulties that come your way. People love to say "Ohhhh are you sure you can do that, or that's hard to do. Or No one has ever done that." Shut that shit down. Don't listen to it and trust yourself.

If you feel like you've tried therapy self-help books exercise meditation and are still struggling as a working mom, in your marriage, in your career let's talk to get you unstuck and into peace and freedom.

Also if you like this podcast please share it with someone you think might benefit, To help this podcast reach more people like yourself, rate and give me a review on iTunes as well

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From being a natural pessimist, Dr. Prianca learned to embrace optimism in a way that shifted her perspective. She is anti-toxic positivity. You, too, can begin your own gratitude practice and see its effect on your life over time.

What you will learn:

How gratitude can change your life
The benefits of gratitude practice
How to start doing a gratitude practice

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD, go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30-minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:
https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik
https://www.instagram.com/stresscleansemd
https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW:]

Feeling like crap or maybe life gave you a raw deal in one way or another?

You’re creating this narrative for yourself.

It’s the perspective/spin you’ve put on the situation.

The power here is that you get to decide.

You have the freedom to choose how you think about things.

Daily gratitude practice is a very basic easy free practice that can take less than a minute a day that will help you to shift your perspective over time. You can go from a half glass empty to full if you want.

I used to be a pessimist in order to be a realist.

Today, I have metamorphosed into someone who believes the impossible and stays away from naysaywers.

Much of this shift was catalyzed by daily gratitude practice.

Now how do we practice?

I’m not a big fan of daily journaling

It seems to just add to my to do list. So I tend to just recite 5 things I’m grateful for daily. Usually when I’m in the shower.

Our brain tends to go to the negative and focus on the bad in order to troubleshoot and survive. But during a time when we are no longer cave people, this survival mechanism actually harms us. Makes us unhappy and pessimistic.

By focusing on what is going right, we can redirect the brain to the positive. We can put rose colored glasses on. No I just want to clarify that I am no proponent of toxic positivity; but I also don’t support being an Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. There is definitely a balance. In a world where there are a lot of terrible things happening right now it is helpful to focus on what is going right.

There is so much that goes right. Often we forget we have a roof over our heads or running water. Or the kids who make a big mess, there was a time we wanted them so badly. Our brain is an expert at taking things for granted. Because it’s built to protect us. I challenge you to see your life with a grateful lens everyday.

It will change how you see things.

The length of time the shift will take really depends on how deeply ingrained pessimism is within us. But I promise you’ll see a change.

I’ll add in a tip for feeling good immediately.

Try acknowledging something you wanted for so long and didn’t have.

Here’s one of my examples:

I was at H and M in the kids’ clothing and I was looking at the girls stuff. It was so cute! I was so happy and grateful to be in that section.

I remembered 3 year prior while being in Bloomingdales shopping in the kids section and there being very little stuff for boys

Meanwhile, there were a ton of adorable girls clothing and I had a boy. I couldn’t buy girl clothes for my daughter bc I didn’t have one

And for as long as I can remember I wanted a girl. Three years later, here I am with a daughter. Something I wanted and now I have.

Also, the career of medicine isn’t what I thought it would be, but there was a time when I desperately wanted to get into medical school. It’s a real privilege to be a physician and deal with people’s health.

Can you take a second to think of something you always wanted and now have?

And how do you feel when you think about that?

Kind of warm and fuzzy inside right?

It’s so easy for us to want something and then when we have it we take it for granted or forget about how badly we once wanted instead of just being grateful.

A huge happiness hack and factor lies in the feeling elicited by gratitude.

By shifting our brains into gratitude, we put on rose colored glasses for our lives and boom-we become happier.

When you’re feeling like crap

Having a bad day

In a rough spot?

You can shift yourself to a place of gratitude in an instant.

You can name 5 things you’re grateful for to yourself and get a quick boost.

Let me give you some information about the benefits of gratitude before we delve into how:

Gratitude

Your hypothalamus activated
Floods brain w dopamine
Natural high
More inclined to give thanks and do good
More gratitude healthier and happier
It is free! Free
Physical health better
Sleep better
Resilience increase
More likely to take care of health
Mental health is better

Dr. Robert Emmons, a leading gratitude researcher, has found that gratitude increases happiness and reduces depression.

Gratitude makes us more resilient to trauma and stressful events.

Now how can we get ourselves to a more optimistic place in the long run?

Get ourselves into the habit of gratitude practice

How do we cultivate this habit?

-saying it to yourself daily, pair it with brushing teeth or showering

(I like to list 5 things every day that I’m grateful for and why)

-write it down daily put a notebook on your nightstand to do before bed or first thing in the morning

-create a gratitude jar at the end of each week you could put something that went well or what you’re grateful for and read it at the end of each year (Jay Shetty mentioned that in his IG)

-practice gratitude with the family/kids at dinner table or bed time

We make it a family affair at bedtime.

Try any of these tips for a month and see how you shift.

I used to consider myself a pessimist and realist and I am far from that today.

These happiness hacks can help you. Even if you’re in a dysfunctional relationship or dissatisfying career. They will get you in a better direction to a happier.

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Episode #8: Fearing Forward: How to Face Your Fears

Because our brains are designed to protect us, we're often wary of change. Dr. Prianca talks about fearing forward in facing our fears to thrive.

What you will learn:

Why fear is so deeply ingrained in us
How to face your fears
How there is freedom and happiness on the other side of fear

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD:

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me

Follow me on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/stresscleansemd

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join my FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW:]

So many of us are paralyzed by fear. We let it rule our lives. People are often afraid of what's on the other side of a big or small change.

Our brains are wired to protect us. Of course, as we have gone from cavemen to now and flight or fight mode is often unhelpful. So often, we are afraid to take big steps. We are afraid to make a big change. We are afraid of the unknown.

I want to address being afraid of the unknown. Because honestly, so much is unknown. We don't really know what's going to happen outside of ourselves in the next minute, the next hour, or the next day. We crave routine. We assume we will be alive tomorrow, but these are assumptions and not facts. So when you put it into the context of being afraid of the unknown, do realize that we deal with the unknown all the time. Maybe that can help to make you feel less afraid.

Think of a time when you were afraid but did something anyway. What were you afraid of? Why were you afraid of it? What was the outcome after you faced your fear?

And was what you were afraid of as scary as you thought

Here are some stories of fearing forward:

I had an opportunity when we moved for my husband's job, to change careers. I love the private practice I am and was in. I didn't want to leave. I cried when I told my senior partner I was moving. I looked for medicine jobs in my new city and the set up, pay, people weren't the same as my old group. So I took a leap. I decided to launch my business. I was afraid. Afraid of what people might think, especially other doctors-that I'm a sell out, afraid of financial instability, afraid of failure.

And you know what? I have zero regrets and am so happy I feared forward. Today I am truly living my best life. I am happy with my choices and of course I know I have the liberty of changing my mind.

Next, I'm going to give you a client example I had a client who was a physician and mother of two young children whose husband was an emotionally and physically abusive alcoholic. Her home situation felt unlivable for her no matter how hard she tried to mitigate her own anxiety with his unpredictable behavior. She wanted safety and peace. She wasn't getting it at home. She entertained moving out but was afraid. She was afraid, she said, of being alone. She was afraid of him moving on to another woman. She was afraid of what people might think if they found out. One fine day, after he slapped her in the face, she decided he crossed her boundary. She made plans to leave. She left. She was emotional at first about it. But, pretty quickly, she adapted and had what she wanted: peace and safety.

The process she went through was not easy. But it was simple. And she told me that all that she had built up in her head, all of her fears weren't nearly as bad as she thought. She wished she had moved out sooner.

That's something I hear a lot. I wish I had done it sooner. I wish I had applied for that job sooner. I wish I'd moved sooner. I wish I'd gotten a divorce sooner.

Because we are creatures of habit. Our brains are wired to keep us safe. But that means we gravitate to what we know and are afraid of the unknown.

Remember that we deal with the unknown everyday whether we realize it or not.

Here is how you can fear forward:

-Do a baby step trial:

If you have a large step fear like moving out from your partner let's say, try just going to dinner alone or on a trip by yourself, or being with your kids alone on a trip. Take baby steps of a sneak peek of what it would be like to be alone and you will see it's not that scary.

-Know you can change your mind:

If you make a decision and you're afraid of the consequence, know there is another course of action you can take. You can always change your mind and perhaps find yourself better off in fact!

-Fear forward:

Force yourself to face the fear regardless of what your brain is rationalizing.

-Remember you're resilient

Human beings are so adaptable and we get used to change a lot faster than you might think. Women are tough and can handle so much more than they think. People tell me I'm strong. And I believe I am…but I also believe anyone can be strong. You just have to decide to be and then do it.

-Be in alignment

When you're afraid to do something, as yourself if the choice aligns with your values.

-Do what you would tell a friend to do

Would you tell a friend to take that job promotion or go ahead with fertility treatments or leave her partner in the situation you're facing? Whatever you would tell her, you should do yourself. This gives us a different perspective. It allows us to gain some distance from ourselves and do things more objectively instead of being sucked in to our own drama and feed into spinning and obsessing.

-Approach the fear-inducing situation with curiosity:

Alan Wyatts says:

"By replacing fear of the unknown with curiosity ,we open ourselves up to an infinite stream of possibility. We can let fear rule our lives or we can become childlike with curiosity, pushing our boundaries, leaping out of our comfort zones, and accepting what life puts before us." — Alan Wyatts

Let's get curious about our fear and barrel forward!

We have one precious life to live, so let's tap into our power and bravery and get going.

Here is my challenge for you:

Pick a small fear you can face in the next week and then take action in fearing forward?

By taking one small step, you will eventually face a larger fear head on.

Let's get to it! I'll talk to you next time!

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Episode #7: How to Stop Feeling Like a Failure

Dr. Prianca recalls how an undergrad instructor once told her that she might not get into med school. But eventually, she proved him wrong. With focus and a change of mindset, she was able to achieve the seemingly unachievable. Dr. Prianca shares how that experience changed her perspective on failure.

What you will learn:

There is no such thing as failure; just lessons and growth
Dr. Prianca Naik's personal experience with failure
How your failure can serve you

If you want to work with Coach Prianca Naik, MD go to www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me to book a 30 minute consultation call.

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/stresscleansemd

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW:]

There's no such thing as failure. Even though we've been conditioned to pass exams or fail exams if we get less than 70%. I know this is so ingrained in physicians and professions where you have to take multiple exams to maintain certification or your degree.

But the truth is that even though society has conditioned us to believe we need a passing grade and there is such a thing as failure, there really isn't. There are lessons and growth from mistakes that you believed you made. I don't even know if there's any such thing as a mistake because whatever we happens brings us to the necessary place which often leads us to the next step.

I will tell you I am not a fan of the word. Because women always often see themselves as failures as mothers failures as wives failures as people feeling other people and maybe even failing ourselves.

I want to give you a story on my own personal failure when I believed that was a thing.

Going to an Ivy League school is very much an Indian thing or at least it was with all the Indian people I knew. Within my family and also bragging Indian parties. I went to a competitive high school where I lost all confidence gave up studying and of course gave up my spot to an Ivy League school with doing that. I got into Wash U a very respectable school but it was a big failure in my family. The word failure was thrown around throughout my 20s and really shot my believe in myself and my self-esteem.

Undergrad was rocky for me and my college counselor said I probably didn't have a chance at getting into med school. I was half ass in college about being premed and after I graduated I decided that I was going to make it happen. So I took a couple of years off to fix my MCAT and my grades and I ended up getting into three US MD schools against all odds.

This so-called failure and misstep was what allowed me to realize that I can do anything I put my mind to. And I'm not saying this to brag I'm saying it because I want you to know so can you.

Women can do anything. Those of us who have housed and birth babies childbirth is insanely rough. If we can do that and nurture a little people then we can certainly do anything.

This idea that I can do anything I put my mind to, this realization I had in my 20s this was before I even knew what mindset was. This event in my life paved the way for where I am today.

Whether people around me believed in me or not, whether or not it seemed strange, I had the guts to leave full-time medicine and launch my coaching business. There's no way I could've done this if I didn't believe that I can do anything I put my mind to.

This big move to make a career change was a result of my so called failure.

I am grateful for this failure. Hence, I don't really believe in failure, just opportunities for growth, strength-building, and change.

Another benefit of this failure:

I now understand the value of believing in yourself. Especially in today's world when there's so many interesting careers people can choose, the climate is very different from how it was when we were children. Becoming a doctor or lawyer or engineer or accountant or going into finance aren't the only career choices. But no matter what our children want to do, they need to believe in themselves. And my own lack of belief and where it led me initially gives me the perspective to make sure that my children won't have that this problem.

So this failure is truly enriching my experience as a parent and I can help my kids in that way.

I will give another example of perceived failure. Sometimes when we decide to undo a commitment. As in maybe as a young child we wanted to quit a sport but our parents wouldn't let us. Then as adults perhaps we quit some thing that we're not supposed to quit like a marriage and then we feel like failures. So the topic of divorce let's go there. People often feel like they fail in marriage when they get divorced. But what if divorce and the lessons learned from a prior relationship create resilience, strength, and knowledge that a person can carry forward with them as they proceed in life. Maybe it's the gateway to a healthier relationship and a better partner. So technically then it's not a failure. It's all about how we frame things.

Our perceived failures can be our life's teachers.

How do we change our relationship with failure?

We can shift our perspective in mindset.

We decide that we are always Learning and growing.

We are exactly where we are meant to be in any given moment even if it might feel hard.

We can decide to stop labeling our actions as failures or ourselves as failures.

This is yet another step in finding inner peace and fulfillment.

Here are some tips on making peace with the concept of failure:

We have to stop trying to be perfect-this will lower our insane standards. I practice this a lot when there's a small mess here or there. It doesn't necessarily have to be cleaned up right ghis moment. It's not important in the scheme of things.

Also, there is no such thing as perfection as a human being. To err is to be human.

We are imperfect by nature and need to accept that.

By understanding the inherent err in human nature, there is automatically less to fail at!

We have to let go.

Sweating the small stuff is a waste of time.

We can't control anything outside of ourselves. We must relinquish our onus of anything outside of us.

In Buddhism, suffering is due to attachment. So the more we attach ourselves or attach meaning to things the more suffering we cause ourselves but if we can let go we can most certainly decrease our suffering

Acceptance

Resistance causes so much pain

We must accept what we cannot change and only change what we can (things within ourselves).

Grace

We should give ourselves grace and take it easy as hard as that may be.

So many issues we treat as do or die. And they're often not. Aside from death and grave illness, shit's just not that serious so we must try to lighten up.

Taking ownership of our decisions, thoughts, and actions.

We can ask ourselves why something is happening? What is this obstacle creating for me what is the consequence of this? How am I benefiting from this seemingly bad or failure ridden situation?

Gabby Bernstein has a book called The Universe Has Your Back and I never really understood what that meant but I now interpret that title as realizing that certain things in our lives, like perceived failures, occur in order to teach us something or help us grow and lead us to where we are supposed to go.

When we start shifting the way we see things we can find true inner peace and happiness.

Take it from me a recovering pessimist. I remember in the distant past I used to describe myself as a pessimist because I wanted to be a realist. I didn't want to be delusional. I didn't want to have false hope in things that might never happen. Well, today I would describe myself as the complete opposite person. So all the labels that we have for ourselves everything that we think we are, there is wiggle room to change. We can transform completely into anyone we want to be. And if you want to learn how to shift what is going on in your brain to stop beating yourself up to stop feeling like a failure then let's talk. Thanks for tuning in and I'll talk to you next week.

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Episode #6: Get Happier with Mindfulness

Full time working and parenting for the first time was a huge adjustment for Dr. Prianca. Mindfulness became a key component of her wellness routine. Beyond that, it really helped her to live her happiest, best life. Dr. Prianca defines mindfulness, explains how to get started, and its power in living a fulfilled and happy life.

What you will learn:

How to get distance from your thoughts and feelings
How to get out of autopilot and cruise control mode
The Basics of Meditation
The Benefits of Living a Mindful Life

To get started on getting out of survival mode and into your best life, book a 30-minute consultation call with Coach Prianca Naik, MD:

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me

Follow me on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/stresscleansemd

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join my FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[Show Notes]:

Mindfulness is a basic tenet of peace, fulfillment, and happiness in life. It allows us to live in this moment, the present moment. We often think about the past or worry about the future all the while missing out on what's in front of us-here and now.

Our brain's default mode network is an incessant stream of thoughts. There is an automaticity to so much of what we do. We often are living our lives on auto pilot maybe doing the dishes, showering, or driving a familiar route. Have you ever driven on a route for the 100th time and suddenly you notice a beautiful tree and ask yourself was that always there?

Noticing the beauty around us brings us to the present moment, connects us with nature, our surroundings, and increases our happiness.

The sooner we realize and acknowledge our tendency for automaticity and incessant thought streams, the more we can control ourselves and not get lost in the experience of this meaning getting sucked in.

One of the first steps to being mindful, is to increase our awareness. Of our 5 senses, of our body, our breath, and what's around us. Here and now ot tether ourselves to the present moment through our mind body connection.

Application of mindfulness:

Savoring the good moments, hugging your child
Being present with children
Getting yourself out of a negative catastrophization spiral

How do we do this:

Remind ourselves
There is a body-feel the weight of gravity and points of contact
Here and now.
Then we can shift our focus to our breath for a few seconds they serve as an anbchor. Provide us with stability
Allow us to feel stable amidst any and all chaos.

Meditation practice over time leads to mindfulness and a greater mind body connection. This process gives us distance from our thoughts and feelings. Eventually, we will get sucked into our own inner drama less and less leading to a more balanced life experience." Jackson MacKenzie

BENEFITS of mindfulness

Less stress
Less anxiety
Lower blood pressure
Lower heart rate
Better sleep
Improved focus and concentration
Increased feelings of wellbeing or happiness
Help us with our constant need to be stimulated, phone addicitons

Helpful books

Full Catastrophe Living and Whereever You Go There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn

The Art Of Mindfulness by Thich Naht Hahn

Mistakes in meditation:

People think that by meditating regularly, they will find peace
Meditating by itself isn't the answer
People assume they cannot meditate
People think there is a "right way" to practice mindfulness meditation
It's not actually that simple
You have to apply your practice to real life

Mindfulness has empowered me to savor the good and ordinary moments, contributing to my overall happiness.

I use mindfulness in stressful, anxious, and angry moments. It helps to center me and give me distance from my overpowering unpleasant feelings.

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Episode #5: Clean Decisions: Say No To Mind Drama And Spinning

Most of the time, especially for professional moms, the experience of brainado comes naturally. Brainado is a word coined by combining the word brain and tornado, so it's self-explanatory. But how can you clear up your mind and make more room for clean decision-making? Dr. Prianca explains how you can make the clean decisions, see decision-making as a form of freedom, and live a life with intention.

What you will learn:

Our brain's energy is finite
The perfect decision does not exist!
No decision is permanent; you can always change your mind!
Be intentional about brain input

To get started on getting out of survival mode and into your best life, book a 30-minute consultation call with Coach Prianca Naik, MD:

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/stresscleansemd

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW:]

Why do I feel tired all the time? Is this this is a question you ask yourself all the time? Well many of us with young children are sleep deprived or we work a lot. Others of us are in denial. Sometimes physicians will ask themselves if they have thyroid problems I find this so funny because we will try and treat ourselves like our own patients and we make the worst patients and yet you get your blood work done and thyroid is normal there are no real organic causes let's say for your feeling exhausted.

One of the major ways in which we feel drain and exhausted is using our brain in ways that are not productive. A friend of mine, when he would get into fight or flight mode, would use the term Brainaidos-brain swirling

Also, many of us type A professional mothers are perfectionists and we obsess about making the right decision so it's right or perfect

I'm going to let you in on a little secret-there's no such thing!!

A perfect decision-no one has the answers to your life bc they're not in your shoes. Only you can decide. And just a little plug on people pleasing-no one is watching you in your home, ok? The pressure is off. Do whatever you want. You're a grown up!

We have a finite amount of brain energy to devote to whatever topics we allow in a given day and yet as intelligent and successful as we maybe we find ourselves with our brain spinning back-and-forth and confusion in mind drama leaving us exhausted or depleted.

We go in circles constantly about the same problems

Indecision, brainados, obsessing-all happiness stealers. So we want to get away from them. We want to be aware and make changes.

I'm going to give a personal anecdote hear about why we do this. So I used to take a lot of pride in being deep or philosophical. I come from a family where reading Pulitzer Prize winning books is applauded and discussion about things beyond the surface level is also a sign of intelligence and dad. I used to take so much pride in thinking about things till no end until in my adult post coaching life I realized I was really wasting my energy on things and I really needed to be deliberate and intentional with how it was going to use mind.

This intentionality and clearing up of brain clutter frees up so much space that once you start implementing the solutions I talk about today you'll see how much lighter you feel.

Clean decisions are the key to getting the life we want. Decisions empower us to take control of our lives and our life experience.

Our lives consit of a series of decisions.

Life isn't happening to us. We get to decide.

You might be thinking okay okay, I get it yeah I do do. I see the problem here, but what's your solution? Well of course, I'm going to give a solution.

Awareness.

This is the first step in solving any problem. Awareness of what your brain is doing. One way of being aware is practicing mindfulness meditation. Not so much to zone out or zen out or whatever people think it will achieve. But to become an observer of our thoughts and feelings. I will dive deeper into this concept in a future episode, but for now I will say that being aware of how our mind wanders or goes back and forth acknowledges the potential problem and gives us distance from our own thoughts. We can then empower ourselves to notice and decide what we want to do about them or how we want to view them.

Once we are aware of them, we can deliberately make clean decisions. Clean decisions are a major happiness contributor. The problem with going back and forth with decision making is that we waste time an energy. We can actually simplify this process.

It's called clean decisions.

Follow a few basic tenets when decision making:

Realize no decision is permanent. When making a tough decision you can say this is for now…I can always change my mind: example-client moving out, afraid. We all have a lot of fear, it's our brains way of keeping us safe.

Nothing in life is actually permanent even if we believe it to be-that's an illusion.

We also should figure out what are values are refer to my podcast episode number X I talk about values. Does this decision align with my values system?

If I loved myself how would I make this decision?

Even if you feel pressure from outside sources, remember your tools to stop people pleasing from episode 4.

Go with your gut. That's it. Simple easy. This is really how we should do things period.

Stop back and forth stop going back and forth. Pick some on thing make a decision even if it scares you. Just decide. And rememvberyou can always change your mind.

Fear forward. Go forward with something that scares you.

Nothing gratifying comes easily

Babies require timed sex and a pregnancy which is hard. It's wonderful but scary too!

Remember that you can always change your life. Nothing life is permanent.

If you need to research things before making an informed decision, create a limit to the amount of research. I personally tend to streamline thigns. I don't want to spend a ton of time in this I find it inefficient.

Lighten up. We take things too seriously. We need to treat things like they're no big deal even if maybe they are and it takes the pressure off.

Keep things simple. What might be the easiest decision for today if you're feeling overburdened.

Trust in yourself. Believe in yourself ot look out for you. I don't care what you did in the past. It doesn't matter. You can always decide to make a change today

And remember for past regrets, you did the best you could at the time with the information you had and where you were at that time.

Stop asking a million people what they think.

It's okay to get input, but stand guard to the doorway of your mind

Have a sieve for what you allow to come into your brain

Talk to cheerleaders. Cut out naysayers.

Ask yourself if your future self will thank you for this decision? This is a great way to get out of your own head, simplify things, and love yourself.

I find this question actually helpful in eating healthfully and drinking mindfully. DO I really need another piece of cake? Will my figure self thank me for that?

Once we get out of brain drama and make clean decisions we can then get in to massive action and get the results we want.

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Episode #4: Stop People-Pleasing and Get Happy!

As a recovering 'yes' person, Dr. Prianca opens up about her own story and people-pleasing and how it affected her as a child, and later on as a parent. People-pleasing forces us to focus on what others think instead of ourselves. Dr. Prianca explains how you can move away from people-pleasing and the lessons you'll learn along the way as you give heed more to yourself.

What you will learn:

Why people-pleasing is so ingrained in us
The power of no
Methods to stop people-pleasing

To get started on getting out of survival mode and into your best life, book a 30-minute consultation call with Coach Prianca Naik, MD:

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me

Follow me on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/stresscleansemd

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join my FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW:]

Hello Ladies!

I'm thrilled you're tuning in today!

I'm going to chat about a topic that negatively affects so many of us. Buuut, the good news is…there are solutions in store for you today.

People-pleasing! So many of us engage in it.

If you have a hard time with boundaries, saying no, fear being labeled as selfish, seek other people's approval, and pick other people over yourself constantly, you are probably a people pleaser so keep listening!

Why are we people-pleasers?

People-pleasing is ingrained at such a young age.

Toddlers look for their parent's approval. We learn easily at a young age that performing (often well) earns praise. Repeating words as a baby elicits applause or a smile from our parents, so we keep doing it perhaps in increasing frequency.

In school, if the teachers liked us, maybe we would get good grades. Again, more fostering of external judgment and approval.

We become conditioned to equate our self-worth with the approval of others. It's no surprise that as adults so highly value the opinions of others.

To take it a step further, we base our self-worth on this-on people-pleasing.

Self-worth, which, if you break down the word…self and worth…if we take that word literally…then it should be based on ourselves….not on others. Sense of self-worth, approval, all of those things that make us feel fulfilled and happy, we must find the answers within ourselves.

Keep this in your mind as we move through this episode.

Clients come to me concerned about what other people think of them; this is common in medicine where people want to have a good reputation as a physician or to be liked by their superiors or administration at the hospital-ultimately trying to garner external approval.

I'm going to tell you right now that engaging in this pattern actually gives away our power. Trying to gain other people's praise only hands our power to them. Basing our self-worth on others is giving our happiness away to what's outside of us.

One client was complaining about her boss who never seemed to be satisfied with this doctor's work and on top of that was inconsistent in her policies, which was unfair.

She wanted to make peace with her boss and have a symbiotic relationship. But the goal of making her boss happy with her was actually majorly out of her hands. Whatever outlook her boss was bringing to the table had everything to do with her boss's narrative, not hers, and would be a certain way regardless of what this talented young physician did.

We often people please as a way to avoid the discomfort of others' disapproval. It can't be uncomfortable when someone disagrees with us, or someone doesn't like us.

I will remind you again that People pleasing will deplete us and take our joy away. We can't control anything outside of us. Don't forget that.

We waste a lot of time worrying about something someone said about us, which was negative. Well-not everyone is going to like us. We know this logically but often get upset when not everyone likes us.

To reassure you, I am going to tell you that the majority of someone's opinion of you is dictated by his or her story, not the quality of person that YOU are.

For example, a South Asian client of mine-her mother in law told her husband she didn't love him bc she didn't cook him hot meals. This is insane, right? But.. that's the mother in laws story. Food = love. Not much to do with her DIL, who, btw with cultural norms, would never be good enough. So the sooner we accept other people's narratives for exactly what they are, the sooner we can find inner peace and move on with our lives!

I'm going to tell a personal story here of my own journey with this. For myriad reasons, I didn't get into an ivy league school, and I probably could have. (that was my pre-coaching, pre-mindset/mind management, beliefs life).

I went to Wash U in St. Louis, which is more than respectable as an undergrad institution. That being said, it went down in history as my failure. Couple that with a bit of teenage angst, getting into trouble with my born Indian parents in India, and I was the black sheep of my family for a while.

I was so insecure about this alleged failure that I wouldn't make decisions by myself… I'd always consult my mother or best friend.

I realized I was a people-pleaser in that I was constantly seeking my parents' approval for everything. Even as an adult, I would want their approval for my parenting choices. But of course, I'm doing things differently, taking the good from them and discarding the bad as I parent.

A few years ago, I found myself wasting energy arguing with my mom, trying to badger her into agreeing with me. And leaving the conversation depleted and unhappy, I realized the solution to this was to realize the answers for what I was supposed to do were in me…not outside of me. I began to adjust my approach

Now, When they don't agree with me. I acknowledge they're entitled to their opinion, and I mine. And what if I can focus on pleasing myself. Does this choice align with who I am? Does this choice empower me?

Asking myself these questions helps me get out of people-pleasing and into my own fulfilled zone.

Don't get me wrong, I still find myself slipping into my people-pleasing ways. But with awareness and practice, I can decrease it immensely

Indian culture promotes success and having a great life on paper, so one can brag at Indian parties about it. Perhaps that's an extreme view, but that was my personal experience of my childhood and accolades or lack them.

Luckily as I grew up and learned to love and trust myself in order to make decisions… (I will talk about self-love in a future episode), but notice I said learn…bc self-love and trust is often not automatic. It has to be learned and practiced.

It wasn't until my 30's that I realized my entire existence had been dedicated to proving myself (another form of people-pleasing) to the world, but also to my family. Once I got into medical school, I could prove I was smart and successful. Once I married the right person on paper, I could prove I made good decisions, and so on and so forth.

But even then, when I was an attending, I said yes to everything 100% of the time. I didn't want to seem difficult. I wanted them to like me and know I was a hard, dedicated worker. And if someone had a problem with me, I took it so personally, I would cry and cry for a whole day about somebody saying one small bad thing about me.

That's really sad. I allowed myself to lose my own happiness to the comment of another. Today-no way…I no longer do that, and I want you to be able to do the same! One of the most difficult things for women is saying NO.

Women are nurturing, accommodating, and not used to putting their own needs first. I first considered saying NO when it didn't suit me after reading a New York Times article on the power of no.

I didn't even consider this concept until I became a full-time working mother.

I found it very difficult to say no to people.

Perhaps it was part of the narrative in my head, but I figured people thought I was difficult when I said no.

When I realized that I couldn't control others' opinions of me, only my own, I felt empowered and liberated.

I am recovering 'yes' person…

I'll never forget my first time saying no…I was on my way home, looking forward to hopping on my Peloton, Really have found exercise to be an endorphin-boosting energizing activity. A senior partner asked me to see admission, and I was one exit away from my home… I decided, after reading any times articles on the power of no… to say no… I felt so guilty…but I did it anyway.

Getting comfortable with the discomfort. This is a key to our sense of peace. And you know what? I didn't regret it.

And I bet he doesn't even remember this!

Practice the power of no. Saying no to self-sacrifice and you will find that With time you start letting go

A few weeks ago, I found my people-pleasing creeping in.

I said ok to a few places at work. I had a coaching retreat that day also. I knew it would be a major cluster. The story recently about work realized I couldn't do it had to say no and get an adjustment

I would have been afraid to say something before, now no more

It's constant practice and work, but it's worth it. I'm so much happier.

I'm going to dive into how to stop people-pleasing and start getting happy!

Acknowledgment.

Acknowledge you're a people pleaser. List out all of the ways in which you find yourself people-pleasing

practice saying and Getting comfortable with saying no. If something makes you uncomfortable, realize it's ok to not participate. Stop explaining yourself because you don't owe the world explanations for your choices or your life.

Practice pleasing yourself.

When you find yourself thinking do they like what I did or do they like me for doing that? Ask yourself if you like you for doing that.

The problem with people-pleasing:

It's outside of us; we have no control.

We sacrifice ourselves, our own happiness for others and are left depleted.

Remember, people's story about you reflects mainly on them; you can't control them.

And making decisions to please them, keep in mind that no one can actually know the right decision for you because they're not in your shoes.

Self-focus and trust- key components of fulfillment, peace, and happiness as well as an antidote to people-pleasing. We look outside of ourselves for approval when we need to focus on approving ourselves.

It's hard. But we are in control.

Instead of focusing on what others think of us, let's focus on ourselves.

And you know what's funny about this? It's often harder to look within and so much easier to look outside of ourselves. So we can shift our perspective and decide to pull inward and look within.

For the answers, for what is right, for fulfilling ourselves, for loving ourselves.

Only then can we truly be at peace.

People-pleasing Lessons:

We have the answers-ALWAYS.

Self-validation is of the utmost importance in self-fulfillment.

Self-focus and love are more helpful than looking outside of ourselves.

Let's keep that on our minds as we acknowledge how people-pleasing gives our power away to other people. Basing our self-worth on others is giving our happiness away to what's outside of us.

Instead, let's turn in and consider getting our own approval.

And being aware of and getting rid of negative self-talk.

The people who know, love, and accept you will, regardless of you "pleasing" them.

Creating ease in our own lives has a ripple effect on those around us.

We must constantly practice.

My Client:

Before coaching: She wanted to move close to family, or so she thought.

After coaching: Laser focusing on what she wanted, she realized she only thought she wanted to move to make her parents happy.

The first step to remedying the practice of people-pleasing is acknowledging you're doing it. Then practice seeking your own approval. Again and again.

How so? By asking yourself:

Does this behavior or decision align with who I am/my values?

Am I in integrity loving myself when I make this choice?

Or what would I do if I cared for myself?

What would I tell a friend to do?

How to eliminate People-pleasing:

Start small with a no.
Standing guard to the doorway of our minds
Mind management
Look within
Decide what you want and go after it regardless of what others think.
The power of no

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Episode #3: How to Get Rid of Mental Exhaustion

So many things in our daily lives today can lead to feelings of overwhelm and exhaustion.

Here, Dr. Prianca discusses the most common factors contributing to these feelings and their antidotes.

What you will learn:

Common energy suckers
How to care for yourself
The importance of self-love

To get started on getting out of survival mode and into your best life, book a 30-minute consultation call with Coach Prianca Naik, MD:

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me

Follow her on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/stresscleansemd

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join my FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW:]

Hello!

Thank you for joining me. I’m so glad you’re here!

Today I want to talk about not wasting our precious energy.

Do you ever feel like you’re totally drained and depleted?

You’re exhausted and have a hard time prioritizing yourself.

Like you’re losing yourself?

Well, work is hard. being a mother is hard.

Take both of those Combine them together, and it is pretty damn trying!

Because being a mother is common/so many women are moms, maybe it seems like an ordinary job.

But it is far from that as we know and we don’t get enough credit or gratitude!

Because so many women are mothers, maybe it seems like it should be easy or we should be nonchalant about it, but in fact it’s a lot of pressure.

In this day and age with the internet and freely flowing information, standards are a lot higher than when our parents were rearing us.

Raising and nurturing children is one of the most important jobs in this world and yet we do it along with an income producing job.

Some mornings I find myself asking myself why do I feel so exhausted? And then I realize well, it’s life:life can be exhausting.

So Why do we feel exhausted? Here are some reasons:

1) We want to be everything to everyone.

2) We put the needs of others in front of our own.

3) Perhaps we have a draining job and it bleeds into home life.

4) We may have a difficult spouse, boss, or parent.

5) We fail to care for ourselves.

6) We are going through a major life transition (moving, job change, divorce, pregnancy, or new child).

Yes, life can be tough. But we are fucking fierce. We can do hard things!

Think of all that you’ve achieved up until now.

Take a minute to write it down 5 hard things you’ve done in the past year and celebrate it. This will give you a boost!

Now I want to dive into Solutions to the 5 problems I mentioned

Issue number one-Being everything to everyone

But we just can't. I want you to absorb that one.

We have to pick our priorities (lets say we decide: partner and kids)

And even when we want to help them, we must take care of and love ourselves in order to have energy to do so.

Self-care-there’s a buzzword.

I want to address self-care here bc spa days/massages/bubble baths are all good and well

But there’s so much more to self-care than that.

The way to truly give to oneself is through mind management and self love.

In terms of managing the mind, shifting how we see the world Is critical. When something bad happens ask yourself, how is the situation serving me how is the situation propelling me in the right direction to where I want to go.

Even though the tough time or bad news may not seem helpful at all.

Issue number 2 we put the needs of others in front of our own…the solution to this is loving ourselves and getting rid of people-pleasing which I'll address in episode 4.

Self-love. There’s a concept. It’s funny; I have two children under the age of 5 and they love themselves so much. It’s remarkable. My baby loves seeing herself in the mirror. My 4 year old is so proud of himself. I believe we are born loving ourselves. Unfornately, life circumstances, high standards, not good enoughness are often shoved down our throats in our childhoods. And self-love seems like such a stretch.

I read a book called Love Yourself Like Your Life depends on It by Kamal Ravikant and it changed my life.

He talks about loving ourselves in whatever way that means.

How about having respect and love for ourselves to not allow people to talk to us in a demeaning way?

I realized that self-love is a key to fulfillment and happiness. I will dive deeper into this in a future episode, but for now I will say as unnatural as it may feel, we must embrace ourselves for who we are and love ourselves unconditionally as we would our own children.

I challenge you to hold your hand on your chest and tell yourself “I love myself” practice this every day and see how you feel.

You must practice, because unfortunately self-love as an adult no longer comes naturally. We can take a cue from our young children.

The more we practice, the more natural it will become.

In terms of people-pleasing: People-pleasing and taking care of others are concepts that are deeply drilled into many of us.

I was specifically taught in middle school by both my grandma and mother to not be selfish and I realized as I got older I ended up harming myself at times trying to do this. I would cause a lot of stress for myself bending over backwards for others. So we really have to re-evaluate helping others at our own expense which often leaves us depleted

I will talk about this more in a future episode.

Issue 3 We have a draining job and it bleeds into home life.

Medicine-we are helping people constantly.

So it is draining. We are giving.

This can often be while sacrificing our own happiness and stability.

And often we aren’t treated well or we are disrespected and this can be tiring also.

Boundaries are key in combatting this along with time management.

Boundaries of not taking a patient or family’s disrespect.

Many of us may be used to getting dumped on at work. But we really don't have to take it. We aren't victims of our jobs. We can empower ourselves to take control of our life experience.

I had a very rude daughter of a patient snapping at me and I could feel myself getting triggered.

Clearly, they were frustrated with their situation which I understand. Elderly folks who were once independent with health problems it’s a tough thing to deal with and go through no doubt.

But it’s not an excuse to treat me badly. The situation isn’t my fault

So I stopped her and her tracks and told her: I am a human being and I am trying to help you and work with you and I deserve respect.

She kept quiet and her whole tone and body language changed.

Baby steps.

We aren't victims!

We can maintain professionalism and create boundaries simultaneously.

Similarly, doctor moms this one is for you-we can create systems to finish our notes before we go home. So that we can be present with our children instead of typing away at the computer to finish our work.

Issue number 4 we may have a difficult spouse, boss

Difficult people often make us feel unlucky

Why do I have to deal with this? This is so unfair! Stuck with this person.

We can’t control them

In fact, we can’t control anything outside of ourselves!

But what we can control, what is so empowering is that we can control ourselves!!

We can decide:

Not to absorb peoples stories

Not to try to convince them regarding anything about us

To decide to focus on ourselves and our peace and happiness

Yung Pueblo says: “Maturity is being able to maintain your energy [the way you want it to be] when someone close to you was trying to drag you into their storm. You hear them, you see them, you offer support, BUT at the same time you let their attention be theirs and you let your peace be yours.”

And if we find a place to be toxic or a career choice to be toxic we can always change it. I promise. No matter how impossible it seems. We can do the impossible. And don’t forget that.

Issue 5 We fail to love and care for ourselves:

We must do this.

How can you love yourself today? How can you honor the concept of self-love.

How can you care for yourself?

If you think you don’t have the time, I challenge you to take 5 minutes in the morning to take time for yourself. Could be as simple as savoring your morning cup of coffee or taking a quick walk or stretching

Issue 6 we are going through a major life transition (moving, job change, divorce, new child)

These circumstances are tough ones

But we must remember:

this too shall pass;

And realizing that we got this. Always. Just like we always have. Just like we always will

Sometimes we need to take it one hour at a time when things get rough; and know that the tough time is temporary.

We must hone in on filling our cup

Some methods with which to do this include the following:

Sleep hygiene, connection with others, alone time, or something that rejuvenates you to help you as you navigate your way through a big change.

Next, I’m going to dive in to when you’re feeling overwhelmed, what can you do to make sure that the overwhelm doesn’t overtake you?

There are two major ways to lighten our mental exhaustion

One is to unload it to someone else

Two is to put energy into ourselves or self-energize.

I will discuss 10 practical tips you can implement that employ these two principles.

This pandemic has been a cluster for many of us. Adds to our decision fatigue and mental load.

A lot of us have children who are not old enough to get vaccinated right? So it makes it tough figuring out where we want to take them within our comfort levels and risk benefit levels to make decisions on what to do with them.

Or even what to do with ourselves and how that will affect them.

So one way to unload our mental load is to take advantage of the fact that we get Decide how we are going to spend our brain space and energy

An example of this:

In the beginning of January a much-needed girls trip was planned Thursday through Sunday in Florida now mind you we were supposed to go to Turks and Caicos but we canceled it because if you have a negative Covid test you cannot come back into the country for 10 days and I cannot be away from my children for that long/have my parents take care of them at that point.

Instead, we decided to go to the Florida Keys. I was very much looking forward to this rest, relaxation, and gossip session with my closest medical school girlfriends. And of course as always my son was sick and had been sick and I was afraid that if he had Covid he would have given it to my parents who were watching him, but I needed this trip.

So I decided to assume the best and not expend mental time and energy worrying.

On one hand, if I had catastrophized that my kid had covid even though we all had it already, I could assume I would have to cancel the trip. Or if he has it and tests negative my dad who is helping to watch him will get covid and die.

However, my dad is boosted and already had covid.

Which left me with:

Would I have to cancel my trip?

My game plan boiled down to watching and waiting, which we all do all the time.

Even though a lot of times when unknowns present themselves, we behave as though it’s a shock.

And we feel thrown off kilter. But practicing dealing with these situations can throw us off less and less over time.

And the conclusion of that story was-my kids were fine, my dad was fine. I went on the trip and had an awesome time.

The unknown is pretty much all of life so we need to cultivate a system to deal with it so it doesn’t bother us…

How we can handle the unknown so it doesn’t drive us nuts:

We have the power, so

We can:

-decide how much time we are going to spend stressing over a given issue

-decide what we want to happen or hope will happen

-decide to focus on the possitve possibility instead of negfative bc we cant control the outcome but we can control our lens on a given situation

In my situation:

I decided that my kid was going to feel ok

The illness wasn’t covid since we all already had it

Assumed the best so it wouldnt ruin my moments leading up to my departure date

Often we prepare for the worst in advance, but this doesn’t add anything and simply detracts by spending our precious time and energy.

So by focusing on a positive possibility:

We lose absolutely nothing and in fact, gain Time, energy (which we would have lost in catastrophizing), a positive attitude

Now I’m going to address how to self-energize

In order to not be mentally drained

How can we do this?

Write down a list of our priorities in work, with ourselves, at home in the bigger picture.
Keep that list in a visible place. It Doesn’t matter who sees it and judges. That used to embarrass me. What if someone sees my motivational posts? It doesn’t matter!!
Take time (it can be even 5-10 minutes) for yourself everyday. On the busiest of days this can be savoring your morning coffee. I like to do that. Or 10 minutes of meditation
Create more free space in your days
This one is a tough one w busy jobs, meal planning, kids’ activities, relationship nurturing, parties and gatherings now that COVID seems to be calming down. BUT we can actually decide to create free space in our days
I find when I’m feeling rushed and have no breathing space I feel exasperated and bogged down. I have a loose rule to not do more than one activity with friends a week. And to have one thing I can look forward to weekly which may or may not include that
Overscheduling is something I had struggled with pre pandemic then it was done for me and I could breathe. I find activities creeping back in and I now have to go back to being conscious about it. The more breathing room I have, the lighter I feel.
Journaling or getting out the stress. Journal for 5 min a day to get your woes out and leave them on the paper
Call a friend if you can to get it out. This can be so heklpful
Ask for help from friends, family, a professional
Outsource tasks that don’t bring you joy, put some work in (find a trainer, or therapist or coach) invest in yourself and the pay off can be priceless
Exercise-A 5-10 minute walk or jog can boost endorphins and energize you
Get a good night’s sleep. Here are some sleep hygiene tips:
1. create a bedtime set an alarm for that time
2. no devices 15 min before bed
3. get ready for bed well in advance
4. give yourself time to decompress
5. journal beforehand if you’re the kidn of person who stays up worrying
6. avoid late caffeine
Schedule fun. This is a big one. People forget to have fun in the grind of daily life.
Soak in the small moments. Kids jokes, smiles, laughs, candor. There are so many and they’re transient.

Remember, in episode 1, I talked about living a life with intention. If you haven’t listened to it definitely take the time to do so!

We have to live consciously, put some effort into this life and if we do so, contentment, happiness, a sense of fulfillment is right there for us. For the taking!

We can create energy for ourselves and combat our sense of physical and mental exhaustion.

We have to power to create our dream life.

One baby step at a time.

Go out there and try the above methods, folks!

Let me know if it works for you

You can check out the show notes if you’re a visual learner and print out the tips.

Talk to you next time!

View Details

Episode #2: How to Get Motivated and Unstuck

Dr. Prianca speaks from her experience as a physician, coach, and mother.

In this episode you will learn:

The importance of aligning goals and values
What about goals gets you stuck
The purpose of stepping into your identity

To get started on getting out of survival mode and into your best life, book a 30-minute consultation call with Coach Prianca Naik, MD:

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me

Check out Dr. Prianca's website:

www.stresscleansemd.com

Follow Dr. Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/stresscleansemd

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW:]

Hello and welcome, everyone.

I am so excited to have the privilege of chatting with you again!

Today I want to talk about an issue that many of my clients come to me with.

The feeling of being stuck.

This is a common issue amongst accomplished type A mothers.

Many of us go along a path we believe has already been paved for us.

I can speak to being a physician. College, then medical school, then residency, some do fellowship then a job. So much stuyding and training to get to the final destination of working, seeing patients, making an impact, and of course an income as well.

Right?

Perhaps in our personal lives we want ot have kids so we need to find a partner, a sperm donor. Someone with whom we believe we can spend the rest of our lives.

Then a few years in. after a prestigious job, seemingly good marriage, and beautiful children we feel like there's something missing.

We have goals. These can be simple ones-like working out regularly, losing a few pounds. But we cant seem to make the time. I say make bc we can always create the time for what we want to do.

It's not that we don't have the time bc time exists and we can decide how we want to use it.

Or maybe we have a bigger picture goal. Feeling safe in our homes. maybe we live w someone w narcissistic tendencoies or an addiction

We are tired of feeling emotionally and perhaps even physicially unsafe and are tired of walking on egg shells.

We want something more for ourselves and our kids but don't know how to go about getting there. Leave? Oh no that's daunting. It's scary. I will dive into fearing forward, facing our fears in another episode.

Today I want to address how to get unstuck when you have goals but believe you lack motivation.

First, I want you to write down your top two goals right now. They can be big or small.

Then decide what your top 5 values are

Examples of values are

Loyalty
Humility
Compassion
Honesty
Kindness
Integrity
Determination
Generosity
Courage
Tolerance
Trustworthiness
Altruism
Empathy
Diligence
Independence

Those are just a few values, feel free to come up with your own.

Okay now that you've picked 5 of those or of five of your own. Thnk about the flavor of your goals. Do they fall in line with the 5 values you listed?

If not, it's time to rethink those goals and why you want them

If they do then great

Next, ask yourself why you want to lose those 5 lb and do you like your reason? If so, proceed. If not, proceed with caution or rethink what you are trying to accomplish.

If you don't' like your reason-then that is your reason for being unmotivated or stuck.

Once you pick goals that align with your values and you like the reasons behind them, we can get started on unsticking you.

I'm going to discuss how to get unstuck because clients come to me feeling stuck all the time.

So not everything in life is fun right?

Some goals require rote work.

For example, studying in med school issn't really fun for most of us, but we power through.

How do we get out of our own paralysis or self-sabotage ie spending hours scrolling on social media instead of being productive?

How do we get started?

Key is finding goals that truly align w our values

We should start with an identification of an identity. Who we are or who we would like to be.

If it's not who we are now, we might need to have an identity shift.

For example, Who would that person be that loses those 5 lbs or gets that major job promotion?

The person at a healthy weight

probably makes healthy choices

Takes care of her body

Works out regularly

Working our way up the ladder at work-

Deciding we are that high level ceo and coming from that place

Working smart, not hard

Strategizing

Bringing a ton of value to the table

If it's an identity we have in the back of our minds to adhere to, then it's much easier to keep our actions in line with achieving our desired goal

Here are some additional ways you can get unstuck and get started on achieving all that you want to achieve

Find Accountability partner-friend, find one in an online social media group check in daily on how you're making your goals happen

I have an accountability partner I met in a business coaching program over a year and a half ago and we check in daily with our to do;s, goals nad progress

We list our goals for the day each morning and say how our day went that same evening.

This created external accountability and pressure to get things done.

Another way to create external accountability is to-invest money into it. If you want to lose weight, hire a personal trainer, or if there are changes you want to make in your life but can't seem to get momentum, you can hire a therapist or life coach. If you're spending money on something, you're less likely to skip out on the appointments and action steps to achieve your goal.

Another useful tip is to

Use mel robbins 5 second rule-look it up or buy her book (no affiliation here)

When you ponder acting or not acting on your goal, count down 5-4-3-2-1 and physically move or your brain will stop you.

Start by counting backward to yourself: 5-4-3-2-1. The counting will help you focus on the goal or commitment and distract you from the worries, thoughts, and fears in your mind. As soon as you reach "1," move. That's it.
This Rule will work every time you use it as long as you move with the number 1.
The Rule is a simple, research-backed metacognition tool that creates immediate and lasting behavior change.

Metacognition awareness and understanding of one's own thought processes.

Which can help us beat our brain's usual protective mechanism of sticking to routine and stagnation in order to accomplish our greater goals.

Another way to get unstuck is to

Create manageable goals-clients com eto me wanting to go from zero to 6 hours of exercise a week

This is a lofty goal

Doing something for 5 minutes is a good way to just start

Making the goal easier to achieve.

For example, putting on workout clothes first thing in the morning and deciding to do 10 minutes 5 days a week

This will help you get into a rhythm and realize you can do it

Once you see you're capable, you will increase to working out more

When we create daunting tasks and goals, we often get paralyzed.

Keep things simple

less is more!

Another tried and true way to get your goals going is the concept of pairing.

Pairing is when you tether your activity to something you do daily already.

For example, Pair working out with brushing your teeth make it a nonnegotiable

You can't watch real housewives unless you're on the elliptical

And

Finally

PRETEND

Fake it til you make it bc we can trick our brains into believing we are motivated

Pretend you're motivated

Act as if you're motivated

Ask yourself:

If I were motivated what would I do and then do that.

Voila, you'll get into action mode

Try one or all of these tips and let me know how you do.

View Details

Episode #1: Your Dream Life Starts with Intention

In the first podcast episode, Dr. Prianca opens the discussion on how self-awareness is key in achieving goals and fighting off stagnation. All of us have probably already felt stuck at some point.

But do you know what being stuck reveals about our goals?

Dr. Prianca explains how you can tell if a goal is worth pursuing or not and the tricks that will help you achieve what you want to achieve.

What you will learn:

How professional moms experience paralysis
Values and goals need to be aligned
The importance of understanding your own identity
How to get out of your own way

To get started on getting out of survival mode and into your best life, book a 30-minute consultation call with Coach Prianca Naik, MD:

www.priancanaikmdcoaching.as.me

Check out Dr. Prianca's website:

www.stresscleansemd.com

Follow Prianca on social media:

https://www.facebook.com/prianca.naik

https://www.instagram.com/stresscleansemd

https://www.linkedin.com/in/prianca-naik-md-0524a196/

Join her FREE Facebook group:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/646992382603860

[FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW:]

I am so excited to launch this podcast and bring this very first episode to you!

I am Dr. Prianca Naik. I am a board-certified IM physician as well as a certified life coach. I was trucking along in my life until I had a child, and then boom! My world got turned upside down. My type-A personality along with my tendency to stress out and be anxious, went from being an asset to a liability real quick!

When I returned to work after my maternity leave, I knew things had to change fast. Through my own self-help journey, support group attendance, mindfulness practice, and coaching, I began to emerge from my state of drowning feeling and find happiness and peace truly for the first time in my life. As I went further in my coaching journey, I learned to love myself, chase my dreams, and left full-time medicine to become a full-time coach.

I am bringing my expertise as a full-time working doctor mom to you to help you shift out of survival mode and into your best life.

Today I want to talk about the purpose of this podcast. I want to make a positive impact on professional mothers who are silently suffering with the seemingly perfect life and help them to thrive.

In this podcast, I will address age old problems like women taking the majority of the home burden, along with more taboo topics like addiction, abuse, sexual dysfunction, dysfunction with modern solutions and a fresh approach!

My hope with this podcast is that you will walk away with lessons that will help you break free of societal chains and cages to give the finger to generational trauma and emerge to live your best life.

So let's dive into today's topic, which is living a life with intention.

many of us go aimlessly through life wondering why certain things are happening to us when in reality the power of our experience lies 100%within us.

Take that in. we have the power. We are in complete control of our life experience.

We are women and so damn strong. We are powerful creatures who have clearly gotten this far in our lives.

We have successful careers and children. Neither of those are easy to come by!

We made all the right choices.

Perhaps we went to an ivy league school or we were always smart in school or we have worked our way up the corporate ladder in our careers, we married the right guy on paper or otherwise.

Yet we look at our lives and we are so dissatisfied. Work takes so much out of us that we are in survival mode just trying to get by from one day to the next when all we have is this precious amazing life.

We come home from work with maybe more work to do and so little to give to our partners and children.

What gives?

Many of us are living without really thinking or we are living according to how we think we should based on what we've been taught or other people's opinions of us.

How about we take a close look at our own lives and decide what we want without people pleasing or shoulding all over ourselves.

Let me put it this way:

We planned going to college or graduate school. Many of us planned to get married and eventually have babies and yet we don't put thought into what we want to get out of life and of course, with no planning and thought-how can we possibly be happy?

Here is the solution:

The concept is simple. Intention.

Grab a pen and sheet of paper and jot some notes down.

Or come back to this podcast later if you're driving.

What do you want your life to look like?

Think about your career, your relationships, your hobbies, what brings you joy, where you want to be, what you want to own, how much money you want to have.

What is your ideal day today and tomorrow?

How about in one year, in 3 years, and in 5 years?

This can be different for everyone.

There is no right or wrong answer.

The idea of doing this may be overwhelming.

I'm going to give you a few options with which to approach this:

-you can dedicate time, only 5 minutes, daily for a few weeks

-you can make a vision board either on paper or with an app like canva

-you can write it down and make a list

-you can dream about it first thing in the morning or before you go to bed at night

This will help to get your brain in focus on what you want.

That is the first step to getting the life you want. To building your Dream life.

To all the naysayers who insist that life sucks and that we have no control. I respectfully disagree.

We have so much intelligence, strength and power and we can do hard things.

I'm going to give a client example:

I had a physician client in an abusive relationship. Her spouse, who is also a physician, emotionally and physically abused her. Every day she was miserable and she felt as though she was just getting by. She was exhausted from work and would dread entering her home each evening, feeling like she was walking on eggshells or not knowing what kind of instability or abuse she was in store for that day.

In our first session, I asked her what was the number one thing she wanted in her life.

Her answer: She said she wanted to feel safe-emotionally and physically.

That's a basic…right?

Well, not for everyone.

In a world that often shames people for leaving unhealthy situations or shames the situation itself, it can feel nearly impossible to take action.

She wanted safety. What actions did she need to take in order to get that?

Moving out.

That's a pretty big step, right?

Well, the idea of moving out was understandably daunting for her, so she sat with that for a few months.

However, as she worked on self-love, she was able to love herself enough to do what was right for her regardless of how it would affect her spouse or what others might think about her seemingly perfect life.

One fine day, after he physically assaulted her, she left and moved out. It wasn't easy but it was simple.

She moved through a lot of grief. Facing the reality of what was and letting go of the fantasy of what could have been.

But you know what? She found herself in complete and utter peace.

She began truly finding joy in everyday. She was no longer just surviving. After a few months of us working together, she began to thrive and build her dream life.

She was no longer a victim of her circumstances, but in complete control of her life experience.

She figured out what she wanted and made it happen as difficult it was.

Difficult. But simple!

In a seemingly dark situation, she found light and happinesss.

She's not special in the sense that anyone of us can do the seemingly impossible.

Her major move began with a thought, an intention. I want to be safe.

And with time, she made it happen .

Even if you feel stuck.

Anything is truly possible.

But it has to start with a thought, an intention

By shifting your focus on what's possible, you can start to actually make it happen

Try one of the options I discussed today and let me know how it goes.

The Empowering Working Moms Podcast-Real Talk with Dr. Prianca Naik: Recent Episodes

Prianca Naik, MD