Heal Your Relationships

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Last week, we explored a powerful idea:

You are not your thoughts or your feelings.

So the next question becomes...

If I'm not my thoughts, then how do I actually begin to heal the part of me that still gets triggered?

Many of us try to change our reactions by talking ourselves through them.

We promise we'll stay calm next time.

We'll communicate better.

We'll be more patient.

And sometimes it works...

...for a day or two.

But if your emotional reactions keep returning, it may be because there's a younger part of you that's still waiting to feel safe.

In this week's episode, I want to introduce you to one of my favorite healing practices—using your imagination to access four powerful inner resources that help bring calm, wisdom, protection, and comfort to your nervous system.

It may sound simple, but there's fascinating neuroscience behind it: when we vividly imagine an experience, the brain begins creating new neural pathways almost as if it had happened in real life. That's one of the beautiful foundations of neuroplasticity.

Episode Timestamps00:48 — Why communication tools aren't enough when your inner child is hurting

02:19 — Why imagination can literally help rewire your brain

04:42 — Resource #1: Creating your Safe Space

07:51 — Resource #2: Finding your Wise Counsel (yes... Dumbledore counts!)

09:31 — Resource #3: Discovering your Protector

11:45 — Resource #4: Choosing your Comforter

12:25 — A guided practice to install these four resources within you

Healing isn't about becoming someone different.

It's about giving the parts of you that still feel scared, alone, or overwhelmed the experiences they never received.

Sometimes, the resources you've been searching for aren't outside of you at all.

They're already within you—just waiting to be discovered.

If you'd like to go deeper...The four inner resources I shared today are just one small piece of the work we do inside Untriggerable.

In the program, I guide you through a complete step-by-step process to heal emotional triggers at the root, regulate your nervous system, and create lasting change—not just better coping strategies.

If this episode resonated with you and you're ready to experience that kind of transformation, I'd love to support you.

You can learn more about Untriggerable by joining our free physician community here:

https://www.skool.com/relationshipmastery4physicians

Or simply reply to this email or reach out to my team at admin@drkavethasun.com, and we'll be happy to share all the details.

🗣️ Oh, and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it... You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉 Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately

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Last week, we talked about how unresolved trauma can keep our nervous systems stuck in a constant state of alert, even when we're no longer in danger.

So the question naturally becomes:

What can we do in those moments when we feel our stress or anxiety taking over?

The truth is, stress itself isn't the enemy.

Life will always bring deadlines, difficult conversations, and unexpected challenges.

The problem is when our bodies never get the chance to recover.

Instead of completing the stress response, many of us simply distract ourselves, with our phones, food, work, or endless busyness, while our nervous system remains switched on. Over time, that chronic stress can affect our physical health, cloud our thinking, and make it harder to show up well in our relationships.

In this week's episode, I'm sharing one of my favorite practical tools: a simple breathing technique called the physiological sigh. It takes less than 90 seconds, can be done almost anywhere, and helps calm your nervous system by completing your body's stress response. I'll also share a simple framework for understanding stress so you can begin responding to it with more confidence, rather than just reacting to it.

Episode Timestamps00:50 — Why stress is normal (and why chronic stress isn't)

01:27 — A simple technique to calm your nervous system in real time

03:10 — What animals can teach us about completing the stress response

04:17 — Why distractions don't actually reduce stress

05:20 — A simple framework for managing stress anywhere

07:12 — The science behind the physiological sigh

09:06 — How to practice the breathing technique correctly

10:40 — When to use it in everyday life

The goal isn't to eliminate stress.

It's to give your body the chance to recover from it.

Sometimes, creating more calm doesn't require changing your circumstances, it starts with taking one intentional breath.

If you'd like to go deeper...The physiological sigh is one powerful tool—but it's just one piece of the puzzle.

Inside our free Relationship Mastery for Physicians community on Skool, we share practical tools to help you regulate your nervous system, strengthen your relationships, and become less reactive to life's everyday stressors.

If you'd like to continue learning alongside us, we'd love to have you join.

Join the community here:

https://www.skool.com/relationshipmastery4physicians

I hope to see you there.

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Last week, we explored how certain thinking patterns can quietly create more suffering—and how reversing them can change the direction of your life.

But what if your thinking isn't the whole story?

What if the reason certain thoughts keep coming back... isn't because you're weak or "thinking wrong"...

...but because there's an unhealed wound underneath them?

By the time we're 30, every one of us has experienced some form of trauma.

Sometimes it's obvious.

Sometimes it's a thousand little moments that quietly shaped how we see ourselves, other people, and the world.

The challenge is that hidden trauma rarely announces itself.

Instead, it shows up as recurring patterns we can't seem to explain.

In this week's episode, we'll explore how hidden trauma can quietly shape the way you think, feel, and relate to others. I'll share three common signs that unresolved trauma may still be affecting your life, along with six practical tools to help you begin healing with greater awareness and self-compassion.

Episode timestamps

00:45 — Why every adult carries some form of trauma

03:15 — The three hidden places trauma shows up

03:26 — Signs of trauma in the mind

10:05 — Signs of trauma in the body

11:54 — Signs of trauma in relationships and behavior

15:07 — Six ways to begin healing today

23:23 — Bringing it all together: healing hidden trauma step by step

One thing I've learned, both personally and through working with hundreds of women, is this:

Trauma doesn't always look dramatic.

Sometimes it looks like overthinking.

Sometimes it's emotional numbness.

Sometimes it's always expecting the worst.

Sometimes it's constantly feeling "on guard," even when you're safe.

And none of those mean you're broken.

They simply mean your nervous system is still trying to protect you from something it hasn't fully healed yet.

Healing begins the moment we stop asking,

"What's wrong with me?"

and start asking,

"What happened to me, and what does my nervous system need now?"

If this episode resonates with you...

Much of the work we do inside Untriggerable is helping people gently reconnect with their bodies, regulate their nervous systems, and heal the deeper patterns that trauma leaves behind.

If you're ready to move beyond simply understanding your patterns and begin transforming them, we'd love to support you.

Simply reply to this email or reach out to us at admin@drkavethasun.com to learn more.

You don't have to heal everything today.

But you can begin today.

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Last week, we explored what it means to become the bus driver instead of getting carried away by every thought and emotion that comes along.

This week, I'd like to take that one step further.

Because once you realize you're not your thoughts, the next question becomes:

Which ways of thinking are quietly creating more suffering in your life?

In this week's encore episode, I want to introduce you to one of my favorite psychological tools:

Inversion Thinking.

Instead of asking, "How can I become happier?"

We'll ask a much more useful question:

"How could I make my life more miserable?"

It may sound backwards, but it's surprisingly powerful.

Because once you identify the habits that create suffering, all you have to do is reverse them.

In this episode, I'll walk you through six common thinking patterns that keep us stuck, and how turning each one upside down can help you create a more peaceful, joyful, and meaningful life.

Episode timestamps00:51 — Why inversion thinking works so well

03:05 — Miserable Habit #1: Living in "shoulds"

04:40 — Miserable Habit #2: Fighting reality instead of accepting it

07:18 — Miserable Habit #3: Resisting or reacting to your emotions

11:37 — Miserable Habit #4: Seeing triggers as injustices instead of teachers

14:49 — Miserable Habit #5: Seeing people as all good or all bad

18:17 — Miserable Habit #6: Believing happiness exists somewhere in the future

22:51 — The six principles, summarized

24:20 — Your homework: Reverse each principle in your own life

One of the greatest freedoms I've discovered is this:

Life isn't about finding a place where you'll only experience "positive" thoughts or feelings.

Just like we've talked about over the last few weeks, every school bus has all kinds of passengers.

The goal isn't to get rid of half the bus.

The goal is to stay in the driver's seat.

If these conversations have been resonating with you...If you've been enjoying this series on thoughts, emotions, and learning to stay grounded instead of getting swept away by your mind, I'd love to invite you to continue the journey with us.

Join our free Relationship Mastery for Physicians community, where we share practical tools for nervous system regulation, emotional resilience, and healthier relationships:

https://www.skool.com/relationshipmastery4physicians

Or, if you'd like to learn more about working with us, simply reply to this email or reach out to us at admin@drkavethasun.com.

I'd love to support you as you continue building a life led by wisdom, not by your thoughts.

🗣️Oh, and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it... You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉 Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

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Last week, I invited you into a simple but powerful experiment:

What if you are not your thoughts or your feelings?

If you haven't listened to that episode yet, I'd encourage you to start there. It lays the foundation for everything we're exploring today.

Because once you begin to see that you are the observer—not the constant stream of thoughts, emotions, memories, and sensations—the next question naturally becomes:

How do I actually stay connected to that wiser part of myself when life gets busy... or emotionally overwhelming?

That's exactly what we're diving into in this week's encore episode.

I'll introduce you to one of my favorite metaphors: the School Bus Between Your Ears.

It may sound simple, but this analogy has transformed the way thousands of my clients relate to their minds.

Instead of fighting your thoughts...

Instead of trying to get rid of uncomfortable emotions...

You'll learn how to become the wise bus driver instead of getting pulled around by every passenger on the bus.

Episode timestamps

00:57 — Why this episode builds on last week's experiment

04:57 — The question everyone asks: "How do I connect with my true self?"

05:43 — The School Bus metaphor explained

07:04 — Who the passengers really are

08:40 — Becoming the bus driver instead of the passengers

09:46 — Why chasing happiness keeps us stuck

11:20 — What happens when you leave the driver's seat

13:58 — A simple practice to notice without reacting

15:12 — Labeling the "passengers" on your bus

16:27 — How this builds emotional steadiness over time

The goal isn't to have a bus full of perfect passengers.

The goal is to remember who's driving.

When you stop trying to control every thought and emotion, and instead learn to notice them with curiosity, you create space for clarity, wisdom, and freedom.

If today's episode resonated with you...

Many high-achieving professionals spend years trying to "fix" their thoughts when the real transformation comes from learning how to relate to them differently.

If you'd like to continue exploring nervous system regulation, emotional resilience, and practical tools for staying grounded under pressure, I'd love to invite you to join my free community:

Relationship Mastery for Physicians

https://www.skool.com/relationshipmastery4physicians

Or if you'd like to learn more about working with us, simply reply to this email or reach out to admin@drkavethasun.com. We'd love to help you take the next step.

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

🗣️ You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉 Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

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Have you ever felt like you're trying so hard to move forward... yet somehow you keep ending up in the same place?

Whether it's your relationships, your career, your health, or an old emotional pattern, feeling stuck can be incredibly frustrating. And the harder you push, the deeper you sometimes seem to sink.

Here's the surprising part:

What if nothing is actually wrong with you?

In this week's episode, I explain why getting stuck isn't a lack of willpower—it's often the result of how your brain is wired to keep you safe.

Your brain was designed to detect danger, not happiness. And when that primitive survival system takes over, it can trap you in loops of rumination, fear, self-doubt, and overthinking without you even realizing it.

Episode timestamps

00:55 — Why so many different struggles have the same root

02:13 — What it really means to feel "stuck"

03:37 — Understanding how your brain works

06:03 — Your brain is designed to find danger—not happiness

09:58 — The role of your prefrontal cortex

10:55 — What happens when your survival brain takes over

13:40 — The difference between pain and suffering

15:26 — The legacy we pass to the next generation

16:50 — A simple exercise to identify where you're stuck

One of the biggest shifts in my own life came when I realized this:

My thoughts weren't the problem.

My feelings weren't the problem.

Even my fears weren't the problem.

The real suffering began when I believed every thought my survival brain offered me—and built my life around those stories.

Once you understand that, you can begin stepping out of the quicksand instead of struggling deeper into it.

I hope this episode helps you take that first step.

If this episode resonated with you and you'd like to go deeper, I'm putting together a live workshop on nervous system regulation in the next couple of weeks.

In this workshop, I'll show you practical tools to help you calm your nervous system, break free from reactive patterns, and create more emotional resilience in your everyday life.

You can join the waitlist here: https://dr-kavetha-sun.kit.com/8ea3ea0bf4

I'd love to have you there!

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Have you ever had a thought that scared you?

Or a feeling so intense that it seemed to take over your entire world?

What if I told you that neither your thoughts nor your feelings are actually you?

In this week's episode, You Are Not Your Thoughts Or Feelings, I invite you into a simple but surprisingly powerful experiment.

Together, we'll travel through different moments of your life, from today, to last week, to years ago, and discover something remarkable:

Even though your body changed…

Your roles changed…

Your relationships, worries, hopes, and circumstances all changed…

There has always been one part of you that remained exactly the same.

The quiet part.

The observing part.

The part of you that notices.

And once you experience this directly, it's very hard to unsee it.

Episode timestamps:

00:48 — Why thoughts and feelings aren't the problem

01:49 — The surprising idea: you are not your thoughts or feelings

02:35 — A simple experiment to discover who you really are

05:52 — What remains constant throughout your life

07:22 — The Observing Mind and Pure Awareness

08:28 — The difference between your roles and your true self

10:24 — A simple practice to reconnect with your observing mind

One of my favorite realizations is this:

You have been a child.

A teenager.

A student.

A partner.

Perhaps a parent.

You've felt joy, grief, love, heartbreak, confidence, and uncertainty.

And yet, through all of it, there has been a quiet awareness inside you simply witnessing it all.

That awareness is not broken.

It doesn't need fixing.

It is the wisest part of you.

And the more often you learn to rest there, the more freedom you experience—even in difficult moments.

And if you've been enjoying these recent episodes on emotions, triggers, and the nervous system, and you're a physician or high-achieving professional who wants to cultivate more emotional resilience and inner freedom, I'd love to invite you to explore Untriggerable.

You can join our free community here:

https://www.skool.com/relationshipmastery4physicians

Or simply reply to this email or reach out to admin@drkavethasun.com and my team will share all the details.

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Do you ever feel like you're stuck in the same emotional loops?

The same arguments.

The same frustrations.

The same moments where you promise yourself, Next time I'll handle this differently…

only to find yourself reacting in exactly the same way?

If so, you're not broken.

You may simply be following an emotional script you didn't know you were carrying.

In this week's episode, The Emotional Freedom Formula, I share a powerful 7-step framework that combines CBT, DBT, trauma healing, and identity work to help you understand why you think, feel, and react the way you do.

Because here's the truth:

Most people focus on changing their habits.

But habits are often downstream from identity.

And identity is powerful.

I share a story about my daughter and Judy Hopps from Zootopia that reminded me of this in the most beautiful way:

Sometimes, changing who we believe we are can instantly change how we behave.

Episode timestamps:

00:57 — Introducing the Emotional Freedom Formula

01:54 — Why identity may be the most powerful lever for change

02:42 — The Judy Hopps story: how identity transformed behavior instantly

05:27 — Step 1: The Neutral Fact

06:46 — Identity & Core Beliefs: the invisible thermostat running your life

08:40 — Thoughts → Feelings → Actions → Results

11:42 — How to identify the identity behind your reactions

14:45 — The key to emotional freedom: shifting core beliefs

15:26 — How to start using this formula in your own life

One of my favorite metaphors from this episode is this:

Your identity is like the thermostat in your house.

You can work harder, push yourself, and try all the right strategies…

but your life keeps returning to the temperature your identity is set to.

Real change isn't about forcing yourself to think differently.

It's about learning to become someone different.

—

And if you've been listening to these recent episodes and thinking:

"In my head I know exactly what to do … but I still get stuck in the same emotional patterns."

That's exactly why I created Untriggerable.

It's designed specifically for physicians and high-achieving professionals who are ready to stop being controlled by old emotional scripts and start responding with clarity, resilience, and freedom.

You can join our community here:

https://www.skool.com/relationshipmastery4physicians

Or simply reply to this email or reach out to admin@drkavethasun.com and my team will send you all the details.

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

🗣️You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉 Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

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Have you ever had one of those moments where you know you're upset...

and then you find yourself replaying the situation in your mind,

Feeling more irritated, more hurt, or more anxious with each passing minute...

Until before you know it, you're completely overwhelmed?

Maybe you replay the conversation over and over.

Maybe you shut down and withdraw.

Maybe you feel an overwhelming urge to defend yourself, send the text, make the phone call, or finally tell someone exactly what you think.

And in those moments, it feels urgent.

It feels true.

It feels like you have to act right now.

But what if that's actually the moment when you should do the exact opposite?

In this week's episode, How to Control Intense Emotions Instantly, we're talking about emotional dysregulation.

What happens when a trigger hijacks your nervous system and pulls you into reactions that often damage trust, connection, and relationships.

Because contrary to what many people believe...

the problem isn't always that we don't feel our feelings.

For many of us, and particularly with those that carry hidden trauma, the problem is that we feel them too intensely.

We go from calm to overwhelmed in seconds.

And unless we know how to regulate ourselves, we end up repeating the same relationship patterns over and over again.

Episode timestamps:

01:10 — The myth of "just feel your feelings"

02:39 — The first clue you're becoming emotionally hijacked: urgency

04:18 — What a Trigger Signature is and why it changes everything

06:25 — Why changing your location is the first step to regulation

08:30 — Movement, sensation, and co-regulation tools that calm intense emotions

10:58 — Safe Place Imagery and other nervous system regulation techniques

12:42 — The surprising power of crying and emotional release

14:32 — Why core wounds create recurring triggers

15:58 — The relationship mistake that makes triggers worse

16:51 — How to have a safe conversation after you've regulate

One of the most important ideas in this episode is that triggers are incredibly predictable.

Not the events themselves.

But your response to them.

Most people think every trigger is a brand-new problem.

In reality, many of us are replaying the same nervous system pattern over and over again.

The same thoughts.

The same emotions.

The same fears.

The same reactions.

Once you learn to recognize your trigger signature, everything starts to change.

Because you stop believing every story your brain tells you when you're emotionally activated.

And that creates space for a different response.

—

If you've been listening to these recent episodes on triggers, emotional regulation, attachment styles, and nervous system healing...

and you're realizing that you keep getting pulled into the same emotional cycles despite knowing better...

that's exactly why we created Untriggerable.

It's designed specifically for physicians and high-achieving professionals who are tired of overreacting, shutting down, ruminating, or feeling emotionally exhausted despite being successful in every other area of life.

Inside the program, we help you identify your trigger patterns, regulate your nervous system, heal the core wounds beneath your reactions, and build the emotional resilience needed to create healthier relationships.

You can explore the community here:

https://www.skool.com/relationshipmastery4physicians

Or simply reply to this email or reach out to admin@drkavethasun.com and our team will send you all the details.

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Have you ever noticed how different you become when you're triggered?

One moment you're calm, thoughtful, and clear.

The next, you're overthinking, shutting down, becoming defensive, needing reassurance, or pulling away from the people you care about most.

It's almost as if something takes over.

In this week's episode, Emotional Sobriety, we explore why that happens and how to return to the version of yourself that feels grounded, present, and authentic.

One of my favorite phrases comes from recovery communities:

Emotional sobriety.

Not because most of us struggle with substances.

But because many of us know exactly what it feels like to have our fears, wounds, and attachment patterns cloud our judgment in the same way a substance might.

When we're triggered, we stop seeing clearly.

We lose access to parts of ourselves.

And that often creates the very relationship patterns we're trying so hard to avoid.

In this episode, we explore the two powerful forces living within all of us:

The Inner Child: the part of us that longs for comfort, play, connection, spontaneity, and reassurance.

And the Inner Parent: the part of us that brings wisdom, perspective, responsibility, self-regulation, and compassion.

The challenge is that when we're triggered, one often takes over while the other disappears.

And that's where emotional suffering begins.

Episode timestamps:

02:27 — What emotional sobriety actually means

03:16 — Understanding the Inner Child

04:17 — Understanding the Inner Parent

05:18 — The shadow side of both parts

06:18 — Why attachment styles matter

07:04 — How anxious attachment loses access to the Inner Parent

09:53 — How dismissive avoidant attachment loses access to the Inner Child

13:14 — How fearful avoidants flip-flop between both extremes

15:23 — The connection between triggers and protest behaviors

16:02 — The first step toward emotional sobriety

18:18 — Giving yourself time to bring all parts of yourself

18:37 — Why understanding your attachment style changes everything

One of the most important insights from this conversation is this:

When we're triggered, we're rarely responding from our whole self.

Instead, we're responding from a wounded part of ourselves that temporarily takes over.

And until we learn how to bring both our Inner Child and Inner Parent into the room together, we often repeat the same relationship patterns over and over again.

The good news?

This is a skill.

And skills can be learned.

Resources mentioned: Attachment FREE quiz - https://www.attachedthebook.com/wordpress/compatibility-quiz/

If you've been following these recent episodes and finding yourself thinking:

"This sounds exactly like me."

"I know my triggers are running the show."

"I want to stop reacting and start responding differently."

That's exactly why we created Untriggerable.

Inside the program, we help physicians and high-achieving professionals identify their attachment patterns, dissolve the core wounds underneath them, regulate their nervous systems, and develop the emotional resilience needed to stay grounded—even when life gets challenging.

You can learn more and join the community here:

https://www.skool.com/relationshipmastery4physicians

Or simply reply to this email or reach out to admin@drkavethasun.com and our team will send you more information.

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Do you ever feel like your emotions take over before you even have time to think?

Maybe you snap at someone you love…Then regret it later.

Maybe you shut down completely and avoid hard conversations.

Or maybe you stay “busy” all the time, working, scrolling, drinking wine at night, overthinking. Basically doing everything to avoid actually feeling what’s underneath.

Most of us were never truly taught how to process emotions.

We were taught how to suppress them.

Hide them.

Push through them.

Or react from them.

And over time, that creates emotional immaturity, not because we’re bad people, but because we never learned another way.

In this week’s episode, Emotional Immaturity: Signs and Solutions, we unpack the three most common ways adults avoid emotions… and what emotional maturity actually looks like instead.

Because emotional maturity isn’t about “never feeling emotional.”

It’s about learning how to stay present with emotions without hurting yourself or the people around you.

Episode timestamps:

01:15 — Emotional immaturity explained through the “beach ball underwater” metaphor

02:09 — The three emotional buckets: disappointment, frustration, and boredom

04:24 — The 3 signs of emotional immaturity

04:40 — Emotional reacting: amplifying your emotions instead of processing them

05:50 — Emotional resistance: shutting down, people pleasing, procrastinating

06:47 — Emotional distraction: overworking, scrolling, drinking, numbing

10:48 — The antidote: learning how to process emotions

11:29 — What it means to “ride the wave” of an emotion

12:11 — How emotional immaturity damages relationships and mental health

14:02 — Why emotional processing is one of the most important adult skills

One of the most powerful parts of this conversation is realizing that emotional immaturity doesn’t always look dramatic.

Sometimes it looks like:

overworking

perfectionism

people pleasing

avoiding decisions

or staying constantly distracted.

And many high-achieving professionals become incredibly successful externally… while still feeling emotionally exhausted internally.

Because intellect alone does not regulate a nervous system.

And eventually, what we suppress begins leaking into our relationships, our stress levels, and the way we experience everyday life.

Just think about it, if you’ve ever felt emotionally drained despite being highly capable and successful…

We feel you and that’s exactly why we created Untriggerable.

A space specifically designed to help physicians and professionals regulate their nervous systems, process emotions in a healthier way, and stop living in cycles of reactivity, shutdown, overthinking, or emotional exhaustion.

You can explore the community here:

https://www.skool.com/relationshipmastery4physicians

Or send us an email at admin@drkavethasun.com and our team will send you all the details.

🗣️Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉 Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

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Do you ever feel overwhelmed… no matter how much you get done?

Like your nervous system never fully settles.

You move from one responsibility to the next.

Work. Parenting. Relationships. Messages. Decisions. Chores. Deadlines.

And even when you finally sit down to “relax”…

your mind is still running.

For a long time, I thought being overwhelmed was just part of being a high-achiever.

But what I eventually realized is this:

Not all overwhelms are the same.

Sometimes the problem is practical.

There’s simply too much to carry with too few resources.

But other times… the overwhelm is emotional.

And no amount of productivity hacks, massages, bubble baths, or better scheduling can truly fix it.

Because emotional overwhelm often happens when there’s something deeper we’re avoiding.

A conversation.

A truth.

A change.

A decision.

A part of ourselves asking to finally be heard.

In this week’s episode, Dealing with Emotional and Practical Overwhelm, we unpack the difference between these two kinds of overwhelm, and why understanding that distinction can completely change how you respond to stress.

Because when we treat emotional overwhelm like a scheduling problem…

we stay stuck.

And when we treat practical overwhelm like a personal failure…

we burn out our nervous systems even more.

Episode timestamps:

02:53 — The two different kinds of overwhelm

03:28 — What emotional overwhelm actually feels like

04:26 — How to tell whether your overwhelm is emotional or situational

05:32 — A real-life example of situational overwhelm

07:32 — What happens when emotional overwhelm builds up

08:39 — One major sign you’re emotionally overwhelmed

10:31 — Why even joyful activities stop feeling restorative

12:01 — The deeper truth emotional overwhelm is often pointing toward

13:36 — Why self-care alone sometimes doesn’t work

14:40 — Why practical overwhelm is easier to identify

15:01 — The real cause of practical overwhelm

16:18 — The two ways to reduce practical overwhelm

18:02 — Planning vs. execution: the hidden mental load

19:21 — The power of “minimal acceptable standards”

20:14 — Questions to help identify your type of overwhelm

22:02 — The “golden nugget” exercise to apply this immediately

One of the most important shifts for me personally was realizing this:

Sometimes overwhelm isn’t a sign that you’re weak or failing.

It’s your nervous system trying to tell you something.

Sometimes it’s asking for support.

Sometimes it’s asking for rest.

And sometimes… it’s asking you to stop abandoning something important inside yourself.

Because healing overwhelm isn’t only about doing less.

It’s about learning how to listen differently to yourself.

And if this episode resonates deeply with you, and you’re a physician or high-achieving professional reading this thinking…

“I know how to function under pressure… but my nervous system still feels constantly on edge”

That's exactly why we created Untriggerable.

A space to help you regulate your nervous system, stop living in constant reactivity, and learn how to move through stress, conflict, and overwhelm without losing yourself in the process.

If that speaks to you, just reply to this email or reach out to admin@drkavethasun.com and we’ll send you the details.

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As a physician, you’ve likely spent years learning how to stay calm under pressure in situations of stress and overwhelm.

But sometimes…

the hardest place to stay regulated is not at work.

It’s at home.

Especially in those moments when your child is melting down…

and suddenly you feel yourself getting triggered too.

You raise your voice.

You shut down.

You become harsher than you wanted to be.

And afterward, you replay the moment in your head thinking:

“Why did I react like that?”

“Why couldn’t I stay calm?”

“Am I passing this on to my child?”

Most parents deeply love their children.

And yet, without realizing it, many of us accidentally trigger two of the most painful emotions a child can experience:

Shame.

And loneliness.

Not because we’re bad parents.

But because most of us were never taught what emotional regulation actually looks like.

So when our child screams, hits, cries, ignores us, or spirals emotionally…

our own nervous system gets activated too.

And in those overwhelmed moments, many of us instinctively reach for control, punishment, withdrawal, or emotional distance…

the very things that often made us feel alone as children ourselves.

In this week’s episode, Are You Unknowingly Triggering These Two Toxic Emotions In Your Child?, we unpack how these patterns quietly show up in parenting…

even in loving, intelligent, well-meaning families.

Because emotional regulation is not something children magically arrive knowing how to do.

They learn it through us.

Episode timestamps:

01:06 — The two most painful emotions children can experience

02:33 — Why shame is so damaging to the nervous system

04:15 — How shame creates loneliness and emotional disconnection

05:26 — How these patterns quietly show up in parenting

05:54 — The hidden emotional message behind “time out”

08:14 — Why some parenting techniques “work”… but still cause harm

09:24 — What emotional regulation actually means for children

10:13 — The healthier alternative: co-regulation instead of isolation

11:40 — What to do during tantrums, hitting, yelling, or emotional overwhelm

13:15 — Why lecturing children during meltdowns doesn’t work

14:13 — How to validate feelings without validating harmful behavior

15:22 — Why loneliness is such a powerful punishment to the nervous system

15:45 — What children are actually trying to learn through big emotions

16:47 — Our real job as parents: teaching regulation without shame

17:26 — What happens when children learn to disconnect from their feelings

18:05 — The question every parent should ask themselves

One of the hardest truths I had to face myself was this:

Children don’t only learn from what we say.

They learn from what we do.

And so much of that comes from our nervous systems.

From how we respond when stressed.

From whether emotions feel safe or dangerous.

From whether connection disappears when things get hard.

And the beautiful part is:

when we learn to regulate ourselves differently…

we change what gets passed down.

And if this recent series on triggers has resonated deeply with you,

especially if you’ve noticed how your own overwhelm affects the people you love most …

This is exactly the deeper work we help physicians and high-achieving professionals do inside our new program, Untriggerable.

Because many of the emotional reactions we struggle with today were learned long before adulthood.

And when you learn how to regulate your own nervous system first,

everything changes downstream,

your relationships, your parenting, your peace, and the emotional legacy your children inherit.

If you’d like more information about Untriggerable,

simply reply to this email or reach out to admin@drkavethasun.com

and we’ll send you the details.

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

🗣️ You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉 Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

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As a physician, you’ve probably learned how to stay functional under pressure…

But what happens when you’re no longer at work —

and the smallest moments still trigger overwhelm, shutdown, overthinking, or emotional spirals?

For years, that was my reality.

I took everything personally.

Criticism.

Rejection.

Even small comments.

I would replay conversations for hours in my mind, question myself constantly, and feel emotionally exhausted from trying so hard to keep it all together.

And the confusing part was this:

Professionally, I looked “high functioning.”

But internally, I was struggling.

What I eventually realized is that many high achievers carry what I now call hidden trauma.

Not because we’re weak.

But because we became very good at functioning.

Very good at succeeding.

Very good at intellectualizing.

Very good at pushing through.

Until one day… the nervous system catches up.

In this week’s episode, The 3 Steps I Took To Heal My Trauma Triggers, and Strengthen My Relationships, I’m sharing the exact process that changed my life.

Not just intellectually —

but emotionally, relationally, and physiologically.

Because healing didn’t happen when I gathered more information.

It happened when I finally learned how to work with both the mind and the nervous system.

Episode timestamps:

00:50 — Why information alone doesn’t create transformation

03:17 — Who this work is really for

04:41 — My story: trauma, loss, and emotional survival

06:30 — Why success can hide unresolved trauma

08:20 — The turning point that changed everything

10:24 — Why high achievers often carry “hidden trauma”

11:39 — The problem with relying only on logic and insight

13:21 — Why nervous system regulation changes everything

14:34 — Step 1: Rewiring the nervous system (The Four C’s)

16:06 — Step 2: Healing the core wounds behind your triggers

17:05 — Why some comments trigger you deeply… and others don’t

18:18 — The Inner Parent process explained

19:54 — Step 3: Learning the Non-Reactive Frame

20:17 — The live exercise where I recreated conversations with my father

23:57 — What changed after healing my triggers

25:44 — Healing intergenerational trauma and changing the legacy we pass on

27:29 — Why transformation doesn’t need to take 10 years

One of the biggest shifts for me was realizing this:

Triggers weren’t proof that something was wrong with me.

They were revealing the exact places where healing needed to happen.

And once I stopped fighting those reactions —

and learned how to process them differently —

everything changed.

My relationships.

My confidence.

My peace.

Even my ability to feel joy and creativity again.

And if this episode resonates deeply with you…

We’ve officially opened our new physician-focused program: Untriggerable.

This is the exact work we use to help high-achieving professionals regulate their nervous systems, heal trauma triggers at the root, and create calmer, stronger relationships — without years of staying stuck in the same cycles.

If you’d like more information, simply reply to this email or reach out to admin@drkavethasun.com and we’ll send you the details.

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

🗣️ You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉 Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

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As a physician, you’re trained to stay calm under pressure…

and yet, sometimes it’s the smallest moments in your personal life that feel the hardest.

Maybe you’ve had moments like this:

Something small happens…

a comment, a tone, a look...

and suddenly you feel it.

That surge.

The reaction comes fast.

Almost automatic.

Maybe you snap.

Maybe you shut down.

Maybe you distract yourself and move on.

But underneath it all…

there’s this quiet thought:

Why does this affect me so much?

For a long time, I thought the goal was simple:

Stop getting triggered.

Be calmer.

More in control.

Less reactive.

But what I didn’t understand back then is this:

Triggers aren’t the problem.

They’re the signal.

In this week’s episode, How to Use Your Triggers to Reduce Your Suffering, we take this one step further.

Not just understanding triggers…

But actually learning how to use them.

Because every trigger is pointing to something already within you.

And when you know how to work with that moment instead of against it,

everything starts to change.

Episode timestamps:

00:48 — What it actually means to be triggered

01:18 — Can triggers ever be a good thing?

01:49 — The “minefield” analogy that explains everything

04:52 — The 3 ways we usually deal with triggers (and why they fail)

07:11 — Why distraction is so addictive (and keeps you stuck)

10:19 — Why your coping patterns once made sense

12:08 — What emotions actually are (energy in motion)

14:09 — The first step: recognizing what you feel

15:49 — The difference between feelings and thoughts

17:32 — Why you might feel “nothing” at first

19:27 — How to sit with emotions without reacting

23:23 — What happens when you let emotions move through you

24:24 — Why triggers can actually be gifts

25:31 — When it’s okay to temporarily suppress or distract

27:16 — A simple 2-minute practice to build emotional resilience

One of the most important shifts in this episode is this:

You don’t need fewer triggers.

You need a new way of meeting them.

Because when you stop running from what you feel,

and learn how to stay with it, even briefly,

you reduce your suffering at the root.

And if you’re reading this thinking… this is exactly what I struggle with...

we’ve just launched something new called Untriggerable.

It’s designed especially for physicians who are used to functioning at a high level externally…

but feel overwhelmed internally when these moments hit.

If this episode resonates and you want to go deeper into this work, just reply to this email or reach out to admin@drkavethasun.com and we’ll share all the details with you.

🗣️Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉 Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

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Are you a physician… and tired of getting triggered, even when you know better?

For years, I didn’t even realize I was being triggered.

I thought I was just reacting… normally.

Reasonably.

Like anyone would.

One moment I’d be completely calm,

and the next, something small would happen and it felt like I’d been hijacked.

Like a wild elephant had taken over.

And whatever came out of me in those moments…

felt justified at the time.

But often came with regret later.

It didn’t feel like a “trigger.”

It just felt like… me.

Which made it even more confusing.

What I didn’t understand back then is this:

If a reaction feels huge, it’s usually not because the moment is huge —

it’s because something inside of us is.

In this week’s episode, Where Do Triggers Come From, The Answer May Surprise You…, we gently unpack what’s actually happening underneath those reactions.

Because triggers are not random.

And they’re not caused by the other person.

They’re pointing somewhere.

And when you start to see them differently, everything begins to shift.

Episode timestamps:

00:50 — Why triggers don’t feel like triggers (they just feel like “you”)

01:54 — What triggers actually are and why they feel so overwhelming

03:01 — The first big shift: seeing triggers as gifts, not problems

04:12 — Why triggers come from within (not the situation)

06:13 — The “minefield” metaphor that changes everything

07:07 — Why some comments don’t affect you… and others hit deeply

09:04 — How your past shapes your emotional reactions

10:22 — The second shift: your reaction reveals a “raw spot”

10:49 — Why healing yourself changes everything in your relationships

11:36 — Why external fixes don’t work without inner healing

12:21 — The foundation: becoming a more aware, healed version of you

One of the biggest shifts for me was this:

I stopped seeing triggers as problems…

and started seeing them as invitations.

Because if growth really matters —

then the only way forward is through the exact places that feel hardest.

And those moments?

They’re not setbacks.

They’re signposts.

—

And if you’re reading this thinking… this is exactly what I struggle with —

we’ve just launched something new called Untriggerable.

If this episode resonates with you and you want to go deeper into this work,

just reply to this email or reach out to admin@drkavethasun.com

and we’ll share all the details with you.

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

🗣️You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉 Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

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Few things feel more lonely in a relationship than trying to reach someone who has gone quiet.

They stop talking.

They pull away.

They look checked out.

It all can feel like they don’t care.

But that’s usually not what’s happening.

What’s really happening beneath withdrawal, shutdown, and stonewalling affects both your nervous system and the relationship more than we realize. In this week’s episode, How to Manage Shutting Down in Yourself or Your Partner, I walk you through how to begin shifting that pattern.

Because when someone shuts down, what look like indifference…

it’s actually a coping strategy.

A way of managing overwhelm, helplessness, criticism, or the fear of never being able to get it right.

And if you’re the one who tends to shut down, you are not broken either.

You may simply have learned to disappear when emotions felt too confusing, too intense, or too dangerous to name.

So I want to share some of my own past with this, what I’ve learned along the way, and the small but powerful shifts that can begin to change the dance.

Episode timestamps:

00:49 — What shutdown, withdrawal, and stonewalling really are

01:10 — My own history with stonewalling

03:43 — The attachment lens: why this behavior makes sense

07:29 — The dismissive avoidant pattern and what’s happening underneath

12:15 — Why shutdown is actually a solution, not just a problem

16:17 — If you’re the one who shuts down: the most important pivot

19:22 — If your partner shuts down: what helps most

21:29 — Touch, acceptance, and other ways to interrupt the cycle

If this dynamic has been painful in your relationship, I hope this episode gives you a little more understanding, a little less shame, and a much clearer path forward.

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

🗣️ You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉 Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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This episode will interest you even if you’re not a doctor.

Because I’m pretty sure you know one.

Or love one.

Or have watched enough medical shows to think you know what it’s like to date one.

Spoiler: it’s usually a lot less candlelit chemistry and a lot more sleep deprivation, stress physiology, emotional suppression, and two people wondering why love suddenly feels so hard.

In this week’s episode, Why Doctors Struggle in Relationships, I pull back the curtain on what actually happens to intimacy when a nervous system is trained for years in vigilance, urgency, perfectionism, and chronic override of its own needs.

This isn’t about blaming doctors.

And it’s not about saying all physician relationships are doomed.

It’s about finally naming the hidden pressures that make connection harder than it needs to be.

Because a doctor can be deeply loving…

and still be hard to feel close to.

Not because they care too little.

But because the way medicine trains the brain and body can become very costly to intimacy.

In this episode, I walk through the real mechanisms underneath that struggle — from sleep deprivation and stress carryover to attachment patterns, emotional suppression, burnout, perfectionism, libido, conflict, and the old coping strategies that quietly block vulnerability.

And under each one, I share something practical you can start doing right away.

Episode timestamps:

03:42 — The adaptation mismatch: medicine rewards what relationships often can’t use

05:25 — Sleep deprivation and why it changes the social brain

11:00 — Stress carryover: when the shift ends but the body doesn’t

14:01 — Nervous system capacity and how to widen your window of tolerance

18:31 — Burnout, depersonalization, and emotional distance at home

22:42 — Perfectionism, threat sensitivity, and why feedback lands so hard

28:00 — Attachment styles, push-pull cycles, and protective strategies

38:47 — Why “communicate better” is not the actual solution

If you are a doctor, or you love one, this episode may help you feel less confused, less alone, and much more compassionate about what’s really happening beneath the surface.

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

🗣️ You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉 Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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For a long time, I believed what most people believe:

“If we could just communicate better… everything would be okay.”

So I did what many people do.

I dragged my partner to couples therapy.

We talked things through.

We listened and tried to really understand each other.

We tried the tools.

And for a moment… it felt better.

We’d even go for a couple of weeks without arguments or misunderstandings.

But then, over time, we’d unconsciously hit the brakes —

and fall right back into the same patterns.

The same arguments.

The same reactions.

The same distance.

Maybe you’ve experienced something like this too.

Here’s what I didn’t understand back then:

Communication is not the real problem.

Because think about it…

You already know how to communicate.

You do it at work.

With friends.

With strangers.

You even did it well at the beginning of your relationship.

So what changed?

In this week’s episode, I break down what’s actually going on beneath the surface — and why focusing only on communication often keeps couples stuck.

Because the real issue is this:

When emotional safety is gone…

When core wounds are being triggered…

No communication tool in the world will fix that.

Episode timestamps:

01:05 — Why most people think communication is the problem

02:07 — Why couples therapy often doesn’t create lasting change

03:01 — Why we only work with one partner (and why it works)

05:07 — Communication is NOT the real issue

05:27 — The real problem: lack of emotional safety + core wounds

07:20 — The anxious vs avoidant dynamic in relationships

09:07 — How changing yourself changes the relationship

11:18 — The 3-step process we use to create lasting change

The truth is:

When you change yourself…

You change the dance.

And when the dance changes —

the relationship changes.

Even if the other person hasn’t done “the work.”

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

🗣️You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Some beliefs in relationships are like undercover agents.

They slip into our minds quietly.

They feel convincing.

They sound reasonable.

And yet… they quietly damage the very relationships we care about most.

Because the trouble is not always what happens between two people.

Often, the real trouble is what happens inside our own minds about the relationship.

The stories we tell ourselves.

The conclusions we jump to.

The invisible expectations we carry.

In this week’s episode, 3 Sneaky Beliefs That Hurt Relationships, I unpack three very common thought patterns that many of us fall into — often without even noticing.

And once these thoughts take hold, they quietly shape how we interpret everything the other person does.

A text message.

A tone of voice.

Something they forgot.

Something they said years ago.

Suddenly everything becomes evidence for the story in our head.

The good news is this: once you learn to notice these beliefs, you can start choosing thoughts that create less suffering for you and the people you love.

The goal is to notice the stories our minds create — and choose interpretations that bring more peace, more curiosity, and more compassion into our relationships.

Changing sneaky thought patterns is absolutely possible. And once you start seeing them, you begin to relate to people with much more clarity and freedom. If you ever want support learning how to do this in your own relationships, I’d be honored to help.

Episode timestamps:

01:05 — Why sneaky thoughts quietly damage relationships

01:54 — Sneaky belief #1: “I know what they think about me”

02:54 — Why we’ve been conditioned to mind-read

05:09 — The truth: people have mixed, contradictory feelings

06:51 — How mind-reading sabotages your relationships

08:55 — Sneaky belief #2: “They should behave this way”

10:40 — The key insight: relationships exist in your mind

13:05 — Sneaky belief #3: “I’m too much / not enough”

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

🗣️You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉 Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Most conversations don’t fail because of what’s being said.

They fail because of everything that’s not being seen.

Because in every conversation… There isn’t just one conversation happening.

You’d be curious to know that there are actually three.

There’s the one happening inside of you:

Your past experiences, your values, your identity, your emotions, all shaping what this moment means.

There’s the one happening inside the other person:

Their fears, their beliefs, their history, their own bundle of feelings reacting to you.

And then… there’s a third space.

A space that holds both of you.

Where more nuance exists.

Where both people can be human, imperfect, and still worthy of understanding.

Most of us never access that third space.

And so we repeat the same conversations…

the same arguments…

the same patterns…

over and over again.

In this week’s episode, I unpack this idea, and why learning to step into that third space can completely transform how you relate to others.

Because when you can do this…

You don’t just communicate better.

You create safety.

You open the door for true connection.

You change the entire dynamic of a relationship.

Episode timestamps:

00:54 — Why this skill changes everything in your relationships

02:18 — The idea: 3 conversations inside every conversation

03:49 — Conversation 1: Your inner world

04:46 — Conversation 2: Their inner world

06:56 — Why we reduce others to negative intentions

07:02 — Conversation 3: The space in between

08:11 — Why we stay stuck in the same patterns

09:36 — The superpower of accessing the third conversation

This is one of those concepts that, once you see it… you can’t unsee it.

And once you start practicing it, conversations stop feeling like battles, and start becoming bridges.

Resources:

Book “This Is How It Always Is: A Novel” by Laurie Frankel - https://www.amazon.com/This-How-Always-Laurie-Frankel/dp/1250088550

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

🗣️You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Every human being has tender places in their nervous system.

Places where life feels a little sharper.

A little louder.

A little harder to navigate.

Sometimes it’s a time of day.

Sometimes it’s chaos or clutter.

Sometimes it’s certain conversations that require more space and calm.

I call these raw spots.

And one of the quiet, beautiful privileges of loving someone is this:

Over time, you begin to learn where those raw spots are.

Not so you can avoid life.

Not so you can walk on eggshells.

But so that, when possible, you can soften the edges of the world for each other.

Because the truth is: life will already bring enough friction, enough stress, enough chaos.

A loving relationship is not meant to add more pain to the pile.

It’s meant to make the journey a little more bearable.

In this week’s episode, we talk about Protecting Each Other’s Raw Spots, and why recognizing these sensitive places in ourselves and the people we love can completely change how we show up in relationships.

Episode timestamps:

00:02 — Why knowing each other’s raw spots matters

01:06 — When life feels chaotic and beautiful at the same time

02:19 — What “raw spots” actually are

02:32 — My wife’s raw spot: visual clutter and overwhelm

06:16 — Another example: slow mornings and protecting space

08:47 — My own raw spot (and how we learned to protect it)

11:33 — Identifying patterns: time, topics, and situations

14:29 — Why protecting each other’s raw spots strengthens relationships

Because in the end, this is what loving someone really means:

Not removing all difficulty from life.

But learning how to hold each other a little more gently as we walk through it.

🗣️ Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉 Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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For the longest time, I believed real connection required a lot of time.

Not a few minutes in passing.

Not a quick check-in between meetings.

Not a small moment while the pasta boils and someone is asking for help with homework.

I thought it had to look like a whole event: quiet house, uninterrupted conversation, long stretches of presence — the kind of time that only seems to exist on vacation… or in someone else’s life.

And because I didn’t have that kind of time, I kept pushing connection to the back burner.

“Once things calm down…”

“Once this season passes…”

“Once we have more time…”

But here’s the truth is:

Life doesn’t settle down.

And love can’t wait for a calmer calendar.

In this week’s episode, 3 Easy Steps to Become Best Friends With Your Spouse (Even if You’re the Busiest Family on the Block), I share a much more realistic way to reconnect — even in the middle of chaos.

Not with grand gestures.

But with tiny “charges” that bring warmth and friendship back into the relationship — one ordinary day at a time.

Episode timestamps:

03:36 — Why life will always be chaotic

06:37 — The concept of “charging” your relationship

13:44 — The 3 elements required for friendship

15:02 — Getting to know your spouse again (why we stop)

20:09 — A simple exercise to re-learn their inner world

29:46 — Showing your partner you like them (in small ways)

38:27 — The role of trust — and how to strengthen it

48:46 — One area to let them show competence (without stepping in)

If you’ve been feeling like you and your spouse are mostly managing life — instead of enjoying each other — this episode is for you.

Because cultivating connection can only happen in the midst of chaos, remember there is no “perfect time” coming.

🗣️Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉 Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Conflict has a way of hijacking your whole day.

Even when nothing is being said out loud, you can feel it in your body — the tightness, the scanning, the replaying of what they said (and what you wish you’d said).

You’re technically “doing life”… but you’re not really in it.

And here’s the part most people miss:

Conflict isn’t what destroys a relationship.

Distance does.

In this week’s episode, A New Way to Approach Conflict, I share a framework that helps you stop going in circles — and start using conflict as a doorway back to closeness.

Because when you understand what’s actually happening underneath the argument, you can change the tone of the entire relationship — without begging, blaming, or shutting down.

Episode timestamps:

01:30 — Why conflict drains your energy (and steals your presence)

05:51 — Mistake #1: Why “logic” keeps making it worse

08:51 — Mistake #2: The hidden cost of “I’ll just do it myself”

10:52 — A new path that doesn’t involve blame

11:49 — The 2 conflict styles most couples get stuck in

17:17 — The unmet emotional needs underneath the fight

20:10 — The first step to change the tone immediately

28:01 — Takeaways for doing conflict differently this week

If you’ve been feeling stuck in the same argument — different day, same fight — this episode will give you a new map.

🗣️Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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There’s a particular kind of discomfort that doesn’t look dramatic from the outside.

No screaming.

No betrayal.

No big rupture.

Just a quiet shift.

You sit across from your partner at dinner.

You talk about schedules, bills, the kids, the weekend plans.

You scroll next to each other on the couch.

You go through the motions.

And somewhere in the background, a subtle thought appears:

“Why does this feel so… flat?”

Not explosive.

Not broken.

Just… dull. Distant. Mechanical.

In today’s episode, Help! My relationship feels… boring, I unpack the real reason this happens — and it’s probably not what you think.

Because boredom in a relationship is rarely about “not having enough in common.”

More often, it’s a sign that something true isn’t being voiced.

A whisper you’ve been overriding.

A part of you that’s been kept out of the room.

And when we silence one truth long enough… we don’t just numb that feeling.

We numb everything.

In the episode, I share two personal stories that changed how I understand “aliveness”, and how radical honesty (not harshness) can bring realness back to a connection that feels dead.

Episode timestamps:

02:05 — The question that’s been marinating in my mind

03:46 — What do we do when a relationship feels boring?

05:01 — The dilemma: wanting the spark before the effort

06:22 — When your relationship with yourself feels dull too

07:22 — The real reason boredom shows up

08:01 — A personal story about feeling flatlined

13:42 — The cost of hiding important truths

17:19 — What “radical honesty” actually means

If you’ve been feeling “blah” lately — please don’t assume it means something is wrong with you, or that the relationship is doomed.

Instead, let this be a gentle invitation:

What truth wants a little more space?

What part of you is waiting to be seen again?

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

🗣️ You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉 Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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This time of year puts love under a spotlight.

Flowers.

Reservations.

Big gestures.

And sometimes… quiet pressure.

For many years, I didn’t enjoy Valentine’s Day.

Not because I didn’t believe in love — but because something underneath it didn’t feel steady.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

Valentine’s Day doesn’t create closeness.

It reveals it.

If the foundation feels strong, the day is sweet, but ...

If it feels strained, the holiday quietly magnifies what’s already there.

In this week’s episode, I share something I wish someone had told me years ago — even when I was training to be a psychiatrist.

Why romantic gestures can’t compensate for emotional distance.
Why date nights and “I-statements” only work when something deeper is already solid.
And what the unseen part of a relationship truly requires.

Believe me, it’s not flashy.

And it’s not romantic in the Instagram sense.

But it’s the work that makes an ordinary Tuesday feel calm and connected — instead of anxious and on guard.

Episode timestamps:

01:13 — Why I didn’t enjoy Valentine’s Day in the past

02:26 — The relationship struggles no one prepares us for

04:06 — When Valentine’s Day started feeling different

05:51 — Icing vs. foundation: what really sustains love

07:32 — The “unsexy” work that changes everything

09:02 — Listening to the whispers you’ve been ignoring

10:52 — How to start strengthening your foundation

If this season is bringing up anything — longing, disappointment, hope, or quiet frustration — this episode is for you.

Happy Valentine’s Day! (And the rest of your days.)

May it be sweet not because of the gesture — but because of what you’ve been building all along.

🗣️Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉 Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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This time of year often brings relationships into sharper focus.

February tends to celebrate a romanticized version of love — the ideal, effortless kind. But when real life doesn’t match those expectations, old arguments resurface. Disappointment, betrayal, and unresolved ruptures find a way of coming back into the conversation.

And as you already know if you’ve been listening to the podcast, real love isn’t sustained by fantasy.

It requires real work, especially when trust has been broken.

The truth is that many people try to rebuild trust by rushing toward forgiveness or by hoping things can somehow go back to how they were.

But that version of the relationship is gone.

And honestly, it wasn’t working for either of you.

So in this week’s episode, I walk you through a different path forward.

Not back into the past…

but toward a new normal — one that’s more honest, transparent, resilient, and emotionally grounded.

If you’ve been carrying questions like:

“Can I trust them again?”

“How do I know this won’t happen again?”

“Am I supposed to forgive… or protect myself?”

This episode will help you slow down, ground yourself, and move forward with integrity.

Episode timestamps:

01:06 — Why rebuilding trust starts with trusting yourself

04:07 — Creating a new normal instead of chasing the past

06:34 — Seeking to understand the other person (without excusing harm)

07:18 — The role of forgiveness — and why it can’t be forced

11:55 — Looking honestly at times you broke trust too

13:53 — What happens if you decide to part ways

14:51 — Reaching out for support when you don’t want to do this alone

Whatever path you choose, rebuilding or releasing, my hope is that you do it from a place of self-trust rather than self-abandonment.

That’s how healing actually lasts.

🗣️ Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉 Submit your question

💛P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Last week, we talked about two toxic emotions that can get triggered in children — even by loving, well-intentioned parents.

This week is a beautiful follow-up… because many parents aren’t just parenting a child with big feelings — they’re parenting a sensitive child… while being sensitive themselves.

And that combination can feel tender, intense, and confusing:

You want to acknowledge your child’s emotions and hold clear boundaries…

but in the moment, everyone’s nervous system can spiral together.

So in today’s episode, Erica and I sit down with Dr. Ceara Deno — a newborn medicine physician in Boston, mom of two (11 and 13), and a parent coach who helps sensitive families build peaceful homes.

We talk about what sensitivity actually looks like in real life, why parenting can reactivate our own childhood “tender spots,” and how to create more emotional safety without losing your leadership as the parent.

Episode timestamps:

01:01 — Welcoming Dr. Ceara Deno

03:24 — How she became a parent coach (and why sensitivity became her niche)

10:39 — How to know if you’re part of a sensitive family

20:44 — The role of trauma in parenting patterns

24:29 — Anger as unmet needs (and what to do in the moment)

32:35 — Why role play and playfulness can unlock cooperation

43:44 — Connecting before correcting

48:55 — Repair in relationships (and why it matters with kids, too)

If this episode resonates, I invite you to listen with gentleness toward yourself. Parenting is learned in real time — and awareness is always the beginning of change.

🗣️Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉 Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Most parents I work with are loving, thoughtful, and deeply invested in their children’s well-being.

And yet — even the best-intentioned parents can unintentionally trigger two emotions in their children that are deeply painful and long-lasting.

Not because they don’t care.

But because these patterns are so normalized, we rarely question them.

So in this episode, I walk you through the two most toxic emotions for a child’s nervous system, and how they quietly show up in everyday moments.

Also, why some common parenting techniques work but come at an emotional cost, but most importantly, how to teach emotional regulation without shame, fear, or isolation.

Children are supposed to have big emotions.

They are supposed to push limits.

They are supposed to need help regulating what they don’t yet understand.

Our job isn’t to make emotions disappear.

It’s to show them how to move through those emotions without feeling bad, broken, or alone.

If you’ve ever wondered:

“Am I helping my child… or just stopping the behavior?”

This episode will give you clarity, and practical alternatives.

Episode timestamps:

01:00 — Why I feel deeply grateful for finding my purpose as a parent

03:04 — How even well-meaning parents trigger toxic emotions

04:50 — The two most toxic emotions for children

06:57 — How one toxic emotion quietly creates the other

08:16 — How these emotions show up in everyday parenting moments

11:29 — Why some techniques “work” but are emotionally harmful

13:15 — Teaching without shame or emotional abandonment

18:36 — Why isolation is the most damaging punishment of all

If this episode resonates, I invite you to listen with gentleness toward yourself. Parenting is learned in real time — and awareness is always the beginning of change.

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Last week, we talked about why numbness happens — how it can feel like you’ve lost yourself… like you’re moving through life on autopilot, checking boxes but not really feeling alive.

This week is Part 2.

Because once you notice the numbness, the next question is usually:

“Okay… what do I actually do now?”

In today’s episode, 10 Ways to Stop Feeling Numb Today, I share the shifts that helped me stop living behind a mask — and start reconnecting with my emotions, my body, and my relationships.

Numbness usually isn’t the real problem.

It’s a protection strategy your system learned at a time when feeling everything wasn’t safe, possible, or supported.

And the way back isn’t thinking harder — it’s gentle, embodied change that helps you feel again without flooding your nervous system.

Timestamps:

00:00 — When you “have it all” but still feel disconnected

00:57 — Lesson 1: Drop the mask (it’s suffocating you)

01:26 — Lesson 2: Your nervous system state shapes everything

02:16 — Lesson 3: Stop intellectualizing (information isn’t transformation)

02:39 — Lesson 4: Why venting in therapy can keep you stuck

03:58 — Lesson 5: Your coping strategies are protecting you from something

05:24 — Lesson 6: How to actually process emotions (embodied release)

06:19 — Lesson 7: Why this work changes every relationship

08:26 — Lesson 8: Anger isn’t the enemy — impulsive reactions are

09:17 — Lesson 9: Boundaries are how you uphold your values

10:27 — A 60-second practice to try today when an emotion rises

Try one small change today:

When an uncomfortable emotion shows up, pause for 60 seconds.

Find where it lives in your body.

Place a hand there and say: “I’m willing to feel this sensation on and off for the rest of my life.”

Then breathe… and soften.

That minute of presence can change more than you expect.You don’t have to overhaul your life or “do this perfectly” for things to begin shifting.

One moment of presence.

One honest breath.

One willingness to feel instead of numb.

That’s how the path back to aliveness begins.

I hope this episode meets you exactly where you are today.

🗣️Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it... You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉 Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Happy New Year!

As we continue into the new year, I want to stay with something many of us quietly experience…a sense of numbness.

Many of us feel like we’ve lost ourselves.

We’ve worked hard, achieved a lot, and built lives that look successful on the outside… yet inside, something feels flat. Distant. Empty.

Days blur together. Joy feels muted. Even the things that once excited us don’t quite land the same way. We go through the motions, wondering quietly, Is this it?

If that resonates, this episode is for you.

In this week's episode Feeling Numb, I share why numbness isn’t a failure, it’s often a sign that something essential in you is asking to be heard.

We explore what actually brings you back to your true nature: your joy, creativity, courage, and sense of aliveness, beyond productivity, self-care trends, or external success.

Timestamps:

0:00 — Why this conversation matters: living honestly and fully
1:06 — “I’ve lost myself”: when success still feels empty
2:39 — The deeper questions beneath numbness
3:34 — There is no fixed “real you” — finding aliveness instead
5:39 — Why pleasure and luxury don’t bring lasting fulfillment
6:22 — Aliveness isn’t always comfortable or easy
9:28 — Finding your way back through values and desire
16:10 — Numbness as the beginning of awakening

Mentioned resources:

5 Questions to Create Your Best Year, a simple but powerful framework to reconnect with your values and desires. Although it was recorded with a previous year in mind, the questions are timeless and can be applied just as meaningfully now.

If you’ve been feeling flat, bored, or quietly exhausted, please know you’re not alone. The fact that you’re noticing it may be the very beginning of finding your way back.

🗣️Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it... You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉 Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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January 1st has a certain energy to it.

Not the loud, performative kind — but the quieter kind that asks real questions.

Questions like:

What do I actually want this year?
What am I willing to stay committed to when things get hard?
And what keeps me going when motivation fades?

In this week’s episode I talk about something I believe matters more than goals, resolutions, or discipline:

Finding your North Star.

Your North Star isn’t a checklist item.

It’s not a vague intention or a temporary burst of motivation.

It’s the deepest reason you’re on the journey at all.

The WHY that keeps pulling you forward — even when life gets messy, slow, or discouraging.

In the episode, I share a powerful story about a boy born into extreme hardship — poverty, violence, and limitation — who still kept moving toward a future he couldn’t yet reach or even fully imagine.

Not because life was easy.

But because he had a North Star.

And I share why this matters so much for your life — especially if you’ve ever felt like change starts and stops, or like you’re constantly resetting instead of moving forward.

Timestamps:

02:17 — Why meaningful change is never a straight line

03:42 — When life gets in the way (and why that’s not the real problem)

07:27 — What happens when you don’t have a clear North Star

09:52 — A grounded process to begin finding your own North Star

I also guide you through a simple but profound reflection — a process of asking “why” again and again until you reach the place where your body responds before your mind does.

That moment when the noise falls away and something inside you says,

“Yes. That’s it.”

That’s your North Star.

If you’re standing at the beginning of a new year and wondering how to stay committed — not just in January, but all the way through — this episode is an invitation to start from a deeper place.

Not pressure.

Not perfection.

But purpose.

🗣️ Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it... You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉 Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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As we move through the holiday season, there’s a good chance life feels a little louder than usual — even when it’s a “beautiful” kind of loud.

There’s the hustle. The to-do lists. The coordinating. The cooking. The driving.

The expectations. The emotions. The memories. The tender moments… and the complicated ones too.

And in the middle of all of it, the older I get, the more I realize something simple and powerful:

The quality of our relationships often comes down to our ability to pause.

To slow down.

To make one conscious choice in the moment — instead of reacting on autopilot.

This week on Heal Your Relationships, I’m joined by Dr. Jessie Mahoney — physician coach, yoga and mindfulness teacher, and the creator of Pause and Presence. She is truly an expert in helping people bring more stillness, intention, and steadiness into their homes, workplaces, and day-to-day lives.

This conversation is full of practical “pearls” you can use immediately — especially during the holidays, when everything speeds up and our nervous systems run hot.

One of my favorite takeaways is how Jessie teaches pausing inside transitions — because transitions already contain a natural pause.

Before work.

Before you walk in the door at home.

Before you respond to a difficult moment.

Even one to five minutes can completely change the energy you bring into a room.

Timestapm:

00:50 Introducing Dr. Jessie Mahoney + why this conversation matters
01:45 Who Jessie is
03:06 How “Pause and Presence” was born (and why pausing changes everything)
05:24 What happens when life gets hard (and why support matters)
07:23 “In the pause is where your peace and control live”
12:05 Why slowing down can feel like a “foreign country” (and why it’s healing)
24:36 A simple tool: pausing in transitions (car pause before work / before home)
35:39 Productivity addiction vs. true priorities (presence, connection, joy)

So if this season feels full… or tender… or overwhelming… or simply busy — consider this episode an invitation to slow down just enough to return to the people you love with more presence.

Resources mentioned in this episode: https://www.jessiemahoneymd.com/

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

🗣️ You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉 Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Modern life often feels like a constant juggling act.

We rush from one activity to the next, collapse into bed exhausted, and wake up only to do it all again.No wonder so many families feel disconnected — even when they’re doing:

All. The. Right. Things…

School drop-offs. Work. Homework. Dinner. Laundry. Practices. Bedtime. Repeat.

From the outside it can look like a life that’s “working”… and yet on the inside, something can still feel missing...

Like the togetherness gets lost in the logistics.

So in this week’s episode, I share one of the most meaningful practices we’ve brought into our family life: creating a family creed.

Not as a rigid set of rules.

Not as something to moralize or lecture our children with.

But as a living set of shared values — values we try to embody, reinforce, and return to in everyday moments and decisions.

In the episode, I walk you through seven core values that shape how we live together as a family.

How we respond when someone makes a mistake.
How we meet grumpiness and overwhelm.
How we relate to learning and growth.
How we approach problems.
How we voice complaints without harming each other.
How we repair quickly when someone’s feelings are hurt.
And how we keep kindness at the center — even in hard moments.

What surprised me most is this: we didn’t just create these values… over time, they began shaping us.

They started influencing our tone, our choices, our priorities, and the emotional “air” in our home.

If you’ve been craving more purpose, belonging, meaning, or connection in your family — or if you’re simply tired of surviving from one busy week to the next — this episode is an invitation to pause and reflect.

You'll also find a gentle, practical guidance for how you might begin creating your own family values or creed in a way that feels authentic and sustainable — not overwhelming.

And if this episode offers you even a small moment of clarity — a sentence that lingers, a value that resonates, or a desire to start a conversation at your own kitchen table — it has done its job.

You don’t have to create anything perfectly or all at once. These things grow slowly, through shared moments, honest conversations, and the values you choose to live — not just talk about.

Wherever you and your family are right now, it’s a good place to begin.

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

🗣️You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Most conversations about relationships focus on how to fix things,

how to communicate better, repair conflict, or understand each other more deeply.

All of that is important…

but if we stay only in the past

or only in the problems of the present,

we miss one of the most beautiful parts of being in relationship:

Dreaming together.

This applies to every relationship — not just romantic ones.

Your spouse, your parent, your best friend, your sibling, even a colleague you feel close to.

Relationships aren’t just about surviving or managing life together anymore.

In our modern world, we don’t relate because we need someone.

We relate because we want to build something meaningful together.

And when we never dream together, we slowly lose sight of the future we’re trying to create.

In this week’s episode of Heal Your Relationships, I introduce a new monthly segment I’m calling a RelationTIP, a small but powerful practice you can bring into your relationships right away.

This month’s RelationTIP is simple, heart-opening, and surprisingly connecting:

Dream together -> through vision boarding.

Not as a rigid “goal-setting exercise,”

but as a playful, intuitive way to discover what your heart is craving

and what your loved one’s heart is craving too.

Sometimes, your dreams will surprise you.

Sometimes, the act of dreaming together is the deeper gift —

because it shifts your focus from “fixing the past”

to “building something meaningful for the future.”

And your relationship grows simply from that process.

In this episode: 01:14 — Why recording this podcast is the highlight of my week * 01:47 — What I mean by a “RelationTIP” * 02:38 — Today’s RelationTIP: Dream together * 03:14 — Why we have relationships in the modern world * 05:00 — Vision boarding as a tool for connection * 08:39 — My recent experience with vision boarding (and what surprised me) * 12:37 — Allowing yourself to dream in all* your relationships

Try one change this week:Choose someone you love — your partner, your mom, your best friend — and spend 15 minutes vision boarding together.

No overthinking.

No analyzing.

Just clip whatever speaks to you.

Then look at what you each created.

You might discover something new about each other…

and about yourself.

Your relationship will deepen simply because you dreamed together.

🗣️ Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

👉 You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):

Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Have you ever noticed how, in certain seasons of life, several people around you seem to struggle in their relationships all at once?

Almost like these things move in waves?

Sometimes these couples are good people with good intentions — people who genuinely care, but simply don’t have the tools or perspectives to navigate conflict or connection.

Those situations are painful, but they’re fixable with the right support.

And other times… when the situation is not “a rough patch.”

It’s a bad relationship.

There are behaviors that make the relationship feel heavy, tense, or unsafe...

And patterns that leave you feeling small, tense, or on edge…

And despite the pain, the fear, and the exhaustion — people stay.

So the real question is:

Why do we stay in relationships that are hurting us? Why do we work so hard to hold onto someone who isn’t good for us? Why does being alone feel scarier than staying?

In this week’s episode of Heal Your Relationships, I break down the three core reasons we stay stuck in toxic or deeply dysfunctional dynamics.

These reasons are not about weakness.

They’re not about failure.

They are about psychology, attachment, and emotional survival.

And once you understand them, you can finally begin to heal your patterns instead of repeating them.

Timestamps:

01:35 — A birthday week reflection
02:26 — When “good people” struggle in relationships (and why it’s fixable)
03:20 — When it’s more than conflict — it’s abuse
04:29 — My definition of a toxic relationship
05:33 — Why people stay in bad relationships for years
06:53 — Reason #1: Anxious attachment
11:59 — Reason #2: Trauma bonding
15:40 — Reason #3: Fear of abandonment
17:57 — How all three lead to low self-esteem
19:00 — The stories we tell ourselves to justify staying
21:12 — How our programs and events help you heal these patterns

Try one change this week:

If you’re in a relationship that feels painful or stuck, gently ask yourself:

“Which of these three patterns am I living out?”

Not to shame yourself.

Not to force a decision.

But to speak the truth to yourself — the first and most essential step in healing.

This episode is not about telling you to stay or leave.It’s about naming what’s real so you can finally choose your next step from clarity instead of fear.

If this episode gives you even one moment of recognition or self-compassion, it has done its job.

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

🗣️You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉 Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
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Whenever we stand at the edge of a fresh start — a new year, a new season, a birthday, or even a random Monday when we’re just done with our old patterns — we tend to make big promises to ourselves.

We write goals, buy planners, and decide we’re finally going to “be different this time.”

And then, a few weeks later… most of it fizzles.

For years, I believed this happened because of a lack of discipline or structure.

But the truth?

We all have incredible discipline for the things that truly matter to us.

You don’t forget to care about your child.

You don’t forget to check in on someone you love.

You don’t forget the things that feel deeply connected to who you want to be.

So the real question becomes:

How do we bring that same energy — the energy of “this matters” — into the habits we want to change?

That’s what this week’s episode of Heal Your Relationships is all about.

I’ll walk you through a gentle, loving, deeply effective process for changing habits — one that works far better than discipline, grit, or self-reprimand.

It’s based on your values, not willpower.Because when something aligns with your values, it stops feeling like a chore… and starts feeling like a natural extension of who you are becoming.

Timestamps:

00:55 — Why Thursdays are my favorite day (connecting with you)
01:41 — The January “change energy” and why it fizzles
02:31 — We’re disciplined in what genuinely matters
04:11 — How values direct our energy and identity
05:06 — Real-life examples of values shaping choices
08:09 — Using values to take on a new habit
11:05 — Building “bridges” between the habits you love and the ones you resist
12:59 — A practical writing exercise to transform any habit

Try one change this week:

Instead of forcing discipline, ask:

“What value of mine is this habit connected to?”

Then write 20–30 “bridges” — reasons why this new habit strengthens something you already care deeply about.

You’ll feel the resistance soften.

This episode is an invitation to step off the self-punishment roller coaster and into a more loving, realistic, deeply human way of growing. If it brings you one moment of relief, clarity, or self-kindness, it has done its job.

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

🗣️ You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Some days feel strangely effortless.

You wake up, the weather is on your side, your coffee tastes like a café masterpiece, your coworkers are sunshine, your kid glides through the night routine without a single battle, and your partner even prepares your favorite dinner — a true 100/10 day.

And then there are the other days — the days when every light turns red, every person seems crabby, and everything feels just a little too heavy.

We all have both kinds of days.

Many of them.

For the rest of our lives.

So I want to offer you something important:

Whatever kind of day you’re having today… you are not alone.

There is nothing “wrong” with you for feeling overwhelmed, tender, or exhausted. In fact, those are often the exact moments when a quiet, painful question shows up in the back of your mind — the one I talk about in this week’s episode.

It's The Unanswerable Question, that quiet question that appears when you’re hurt, disappointed, or let down.

It’s the question that pokes at an old wound — the one you’ve asked a hundred times, even though no amount of evidence ever seems to answer it.

Timestamps:

00:44 — You are not alone: grounding yourself on hard days
01:44 — What is the “Unanswerable Question”?
03:39 — When this question gets triggered
05:14 — How old wounds shape present-day reactions
06:42 — Common unanswerable questions we all carry
08:42 — Our go-to patterns when the question shows up
09:43 — Why no one else can answer this question for you
11:07 — How to begin answering it from within

Try one change this week:

Notice what question shows up in your mind when you feel hurt or forgotten.

Just watching it — without believing it — creates the space you need to respond differently.

This episode is my way of sitting beside you on those hard days, naming that question out loud, and helping you hold it with a little more understanding and compassion. And if this episode brings you one breath of relief or one moment of clarity, it has done its job.

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

🗣️You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Hey friend,

“Do I need therapy or a coach?”

If you’ve asked that, you’ve probably heard the hot takes: Coaching is dangerous. Therapy is stuck in the past.

Here’s my take after living in both worlds: there isn’t a single “right” path. There’s your path.

Different seasons need different tools. The right choice depends on where you are, what you want, and how quickly you need support.

In this week’s episode, I map what each does beautifully, what each tends to miss (especially around the body and nervous system), where they overlap, and three questions to help you decide your next best step.

Timestamps:

01:50 — The two worlds I belong to (and how the blend helps clients)
03:01 — Why my approach is different
04:37 — Therapy in one sentence
07:12 — Why there’s no “right vs wrong” here
10:59 — What therapy often misses (and why tools on top of old patterns fail under stress)
14:21 — What coaching often misses (rigor, equity, and trauma focus)
17:59 — Meds can be lifesaving—why they’re a start, not the finish
19:30 — 3 questions to choose therapist vs coach (functioning, outcome, speed)

If this episode brings clarity, and if someone in your world is deciding between therapy and coaching, please forward this to them. 💛

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

🗣️ You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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How do you react when someone cuts you off in traffic?

Or when they roll their eyes at something you said?

Annoyed? Hurt? Withdrawn? Maybe you try to fix it right away?

We all have that one reaction when we feel poked and boom. Your nervous system takes over.

Some of us will fight back.

Some run away.

Some freeze.

And some… try to please.

I call these our “F” types — and once you know yours, it changes everything.

In this week’s episode, we talk about:

Why triggers hijack your body before your mind catches up
The 4 F-types (Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn)
How awareness starts to rewire your reactions for calm and connection.

This episode is one of those that leaves you saying, “Ohhh… that’s why I do that.”

Ready to spot your F-type in real time?

Timestamps:

02:12 — What is your “F” type, and why it matters

03:51 — What triggers are and how they work

05:38 — Are triggers all about memories? My take

09:11 — First step to relaxing the triggered nervous system

09:48 — The four “F” types, explained

10:07 — F-Type #1: Fight

11:13 — F-Type #2: Flight

14:19 — F-Type #4: Fawn (where it shows up most)

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

🗣️ You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):

👉Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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If you’ve ever wondered why healing can feel so hard—why it sometimes feels like one step forward and two steps back—you’re not alone.

For a long time, I thought I could heal by reading enough books, journaling more, or simply “being strong.” I believed that if I just worked hard enough on myself, I could finally move on from the past.

But the truth is… you cannot heal alone. None of us can.

Healing is not a straight line—it’s a journey that unfolds in six essential phases.

Each one asks something different of us: courage, surrender, curiosity, community, embodiment, and eventually, reinvention.

And when we begin to see where we are in that journey, everything starts to make sense.

In this week’s episode of Heal Your Relationships, I’m walking you through:

What each of these six phases looks like
Why we get “stuck” in certain stages (and how to move through them)
Why true healing requires community and belonging
How to make your healing journey a priority—without suffering through it

These six phases changed the way I see my own past, my relationships, and even my purpose—and I hope they’ll do the same for you.

Timestamps:

0:00 Why healing feels so hard — and why you can’t do it alone
04:44 Phase 1: The emotionally reactive stage (and the moment that sparks change)
07:28 Phase 2: Gathering information — why learning is only the beginning
09:46 Phase 3: Finding community and belonging — the real key to lasting change
14:04 Phase 4: Embodied healing — when your nervous system finally feels safe
15:32 Phase 5: Practicing your true self in real life
17:19 Phase 6: Reinvention — living as your healed, whole self
19:22 Reflection prompts to help you see where you are in your own healing journey

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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So many of us quietly believe that permanent healing isn’t possible — that we’ll always feel “a little bit broken,” or that we’ll have to keep managing the same patterns forever.

But that’s not true.

Healing isn’t meant to be a series of Band-Aids — a few therapy sessions here, a meditation retreat there, a burst of self-care when things get hard. Those things can help… but only for a while.

Real, lasting healing begins when you stop patching symptoms and start addressing what’s underneath — the parts of you that are protecting the wound, the nervous system patterns that keep looping, and the way those inner imbalances show up in your relationships.

In this week’s episode of Your Brain on Trauma, I’m sharing my No More Band-Aids model — a framework I use with my clients to help them access deep, permanent healing.

You’ll learn:

Why temporary fixes can actually keep you stuck
The three ingredients that create real, lasting change: mind, body, and love
How Internal Family Systems, polyvagal theory, and somatic work come together to rewire old trauma loops
Why healing your inner world is the key to safe, authentic relationships

Timestamps:

02:16 “No More Band-Aids”: why quick fixes don’t work
06:29 The three ingredients of permanent healing (Mind–Body–Love)
07:55 IFS explained: protectors, exiles & Self
13:27 Nervous system work: polyvagal & somatic basics
16:23 Relationships as a mirror; authentic communication
20:46 Putting it together: the path to lasting change

If you’ve been trying to “fix” yourself and wondering why it never lasts, this episode will show you what’s been missing.

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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We often talk about hope as something beautiful — a light that helps us keep going when things are hard.

Yet there’s a moment when hope shifts from fuel to delay, and that same light becomes a flashlight we point away from what needs our attention.

We keep hoping they’ll change. That work will calm down. That time will fix it.

We keep waiting, praying, manifesting…

Days turn into months, and our nervous system learns avoidance disguised as optimism.

That’s when hope stops healing — and starts holding us in place.

The truth is, a lot of times we use hope as a way to avoid responsibility — hoping someone else will change, that things will magically get better, or that time alone will heal.

That’s what I call toxic hope.

And toxic hope is one of the biggest reasons for suffering in this world.

In this week’s episode of Heal Your Relationships, I’m unpacking what happens when hope turns from a force of healing into a form of denial — and how to step into what I call the messy middle:

the real, uncomfortable, deeply human space where true healing begins.

You’ll hear:

The subtle difference between healthy hope and toxic hope
How avoidance and fear disguise themselves as faith
What “the messy middle” actually looks like — and why it’s where transformation really happens
A personal story from my own family that changed how I see hope forever

If you’ve been waiting for a sign to stop waiting — this is it.

Timestamps:

00:00 Behind the scenes: creation mode and the heart behind this work

03:07 What “toxic hope” really means (and why it keeps us suffering)

04:15 The danger of waiting for someone else to save you

06:12 A personal story: my father’s passing and the lesson of denial

09:05 How toxic hope shows up in everyday life

12:22 A client story about addiction, fear, and postponing the truth

16:03 Toxic hope in relationships — avoiding hard conversations

19:05 You are the answer you’ve been waiting for

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Have you ever left a conversation feeling different—calmer, clearer, braver?

The right words at the right moment can change how we see ourselves and the people we love. This week I’m unpacking six talks that rewired my inner compass and how they became practical lenses for everyday life: seeing myself with more compassion, choosing without fear of the “wrong” choice, meeting hard moments with steadiness, and showing up better in my relationships.

Tune in and borrow the lens you need today.

Here’s a taste of what’s inside:

A friend’s reframe that turned “too much” energy into a gift
A perspective shift on being an immigrant: one home or two?
Seeing a parent with compassion (and what that unlocked)
A decision-making mantra that ends analysis paralysis
Wisdom from a 3-year-old about being okay—even when sad
A tender rule from my mother-in-law: grumpy needs the most loving

Listen in if you want gentle, practical ways to meet your life—with more grace.

Timestamps

00:00 Welcome & setting the scene

01:52 What I’m sharing today: six conversations that changed my life

02:36 #1 — A friend reframes my “too much” energy as a gift

07:34 #2 — Immigrant reframe: not no-man’s-land… two homes

11:43 #3 — My dad, trauma, and learning compassion

15:02 #4 — The decision lens: “You’ll be okay either way”

19:04 #5 — Wisdom from my 3-year-old: “I’m always okay”

22:04 #6 — “When you’re grumpy, you need the most loving”

25:36 What I hope you take from these

26:33 Reviews are podcast gold (how to support)

May these six conversations be the reminder that you’re already more resilient than you think.

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Today’s episode: No White Lies

White lies show up everywhere—“All good,” when it isn’t; “Five minutes,” when it’s twenty; “No worries,” when your stomach is tight.

They look kind. They feel convenient. But they quietly pull you away from yourself.

In this episode, I share the white lies I used to tell, how they shaped my life, and the moment I chose integrity over “easy.” You’ll learn to unpack the hidden cost of "harmless" fibs, how to spot where you use them, and why they pull you away from your true self.

And lastly how honest, compassionate truth-telling becomes a lever for real healing.

Timestamps

04:36 What we’re exploring today

05:02 Common white lies with kids

09:11 Why re-examining white lies became a key lever in my healing

10:11 How white lies pull you away from yourself

12:39 What white lies quietly rob you of

16:03 Your truth-telling challenge

Try this today

For the next 24 hours, practice saying the clearest true thing you can—kindly. If you’re unsure, try:

“I’m not sure yet—let me get back to you.”

“I’m feeling a lot; I need a moment.”

“The truth is ___.”

Then notice: Do you feel taller? Calmer? More you?

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Most of us love the idea of unconditional support. We’re told it’s the gold standard because it feels warm, safe, cozy and ideal.

I thought so too… until I realized it was quietly keeping me stuck.

In this week’s episode: “The Downside to Unconditional Support”. I share a story from my early 30s. My therapist was kind, supportive, and warm. My sessions with her felt like “back in the womb.”

Awesome, right? Isn’t that the goal?

Yes, but here’s the catch: my nervous system got too relaxed. I left soothed, but my patterns didn’t change.

The key: We need unconditional safety in the healing container and gentle drops of challenge so the nervous system sits in the window of tolerance where new pathways (real learning) form.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

The difference between unconditional safety and unconditional support
Why growth can’t happen when you’re too comfortable
How to know if learning happened (hint: behavior changes between sessions)
How to apply this in therapy, coaching, parenting, and relationships

Timestamps

02:05 Healed individuals create a ripple effect

03:14 Why I’m not a fan of unconditional support

03:30 Update on the in-person retreat

05:12 A personal story that brought this home

07:35 Why therapy felt good but didn’t create change

09:43 The state in which growth cannot happen

13:50 What many coaches/therapists don’t realize

15:34 The only way to confirm learning

16:08 Why many of us cycle in/out of therapy

Bringing this into parenting or partnership?

Ask: Am I offering unconditional safety—and just enough challenge for growth?

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Quick gut check. If I recorded your self-talk today, would you want to replay it for someone you love?

Or think of the last hard moment with your partner, child, or colleague. Which words did you reach for first?

Because you can optimize routines all day, but if your language stays the same, your results snap back.

The fastest lever to move your life is the words you use.

Just a small shift in the words you use can change how you feel, how you relate, and how you see your life...

In this week’s episode, Power of Language, I'll share a simple exercise to help you notice the hidden patterns in your self-talk and everyday conversations.

You’ll see why language is one of the most accessible levers for healing, growth, and better relationships.

Try this now (it takes 3 minutes):

Free-write a few paragraphs without editing.
Step away, then come back and scan for three patterns:
Pronouns about me (I, me, mine) vs. words of connection (we, us).
Black-and-white statements vs. nuanced, gray language.
Phrases of no choice (“I have to…”, “I can’t…”) vs. personal power (“I choose…”, “I will…”).
Notice your overall lean, then pick one area to gently shift this week.

Inside the episode:

01:22 A quick check-in to ground your nervous system

04:13 The first lens for examining your language

06:58 The second lens that reveals hidden patterns

08:32 The third lens that shows where your power leaks

12:57 Why rumination fuels anxiety and depression

16:27 Why language is the easiest access point to change

If you try the exercise, I’d love to hear what you notice. Hit reply and share one phrase you’re shifting this week.

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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If you have ever thought, “I should be further along by now,” I have been there.

For years I did everything that looked right on paper: medical school, psychiatry training, fellowships, more certifications.

And... I still did not have the tools to feel safe in my own body or steady in my closest relationships.

In this week’s episode, I share the honest version of my story.

What did not work for me.

What finally did.

And the most important one ... Why my healing is imperfect and still ongoing.

Don't misunderstand me, I still get triggered...What’s different now is that I know how to return to safety, calm, and connection, without abandoning myself or the people I love.

In this episode you will hear:

03:41 One essential ingredient every healing journey needs
13:05 How early beliefs can become trauma later in life
19:58 The moment things started to change for me
22:34 Why I kept repressing emotions and the cost of it
27:56 Even as a psychiatrist, I did not know how to be in relationships
34:15 I still get suspicious and scared, and the practice that brings me back
35:14 The quickest and most permanent path I have found for real healing

If any part of my story mirrors yours, please remember this: you are not behind and you are not broken.

Your path is unique and it is workable.

I hope it gives you language, hope, and a few practical next steps for your own path.

P.S. Content note: I briefly reference family violence and suicide from my past. If that is tender for you, choose a time and setting that feel supportive. If you need help, reach out to your local crisis resources.

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Do you ever leave a hard conversation thinking, “How am I here again?”

Or do you feel seen in therapy but the week rolls around and the same stress knocks at your door?

Maybe you’re the “strong one,” the giver… and privately you’re tired.

If that’s you, I made this week’s episode of Heal Your Heal Relationships for you:

“Your Complaints Are a Doorway to Your Healing.”

Here’s the heart of it:

I don’t want you to just feel better for an hour.

I want your capacity to grow so life feels different from the inside out and complaints can help us do that.

Not by fixing the surface problem, but by gently showing us the root that’s asking for care.

In this episode, I share a reframe I use as a physician:

Think of a complaint like a fever.

Comfort matters...

But real healing comes from finding the source. We walk through a real example (an overwhelmed teacher who’s busy-busy-busy to avoid a deeper loneliness), and I guide you to follow your own “little tributaries” back to the lake underneath.

Inside the episode:

Why validation is soothing (and why it doesn’t always change tomorrow)
How your recurring complaints point to subconscious core wounds (often held in the body)
The “fever vs. source” lens you can use this week
A gentle way to meet what’s underneath—paired with embodiment so shifts last

If you’ve been circling the same challenges and are ready to understand what’s underneath—this episode is for you.

I hope it brings clarity, compassion, and a deeper sense of power in your healing journey.

Take a deep breath, hit play, and let’s walk this path together.

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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How do you know if the challenges you face today — in relationships, at work, or even with your health — are really caused by unresolved childhood trauma?

It’s a question I hear often, and it’s a good one. Because without clarity, we end up treating the wrong “symptom” and going in circles.

Maybe you’ve already done therapy or coaching around past issues. You’ve journaled, meditated, and worked on your personal growth.

But here’s the deeper question:

How do you know if your healing is truly complete… or if there are still layers left to uncover?

In this week’s episode of the podcast, I share the 3 telltale signs of unresolved childhood trauma — patterns I’ve seen in myself and in countless others. They quietly shape our relationships, our sense of self, and our ability to manage emotions:

Repetitive relationship struggles — push–pull dynamics, people-pleasing, shutting down, or feeling unsafe in closeness.
A vague sense that “something is wrong with me” — showing up as shame, imposter syndrome, or holding back from intimacy.
Emotional dysregulation — feeling numb until emotions hit like a tsunami, or managing them through work, food, or other distractions.

If you recognize yourself in any of these, you’re not alone.

And here’s the good news: healing is possible.

P.S. If this resonates, please share the episode with someone who may need it. Healing becomes more powerful when we don’t do it alone.

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

Submit your question

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Have you ever felt like all the tools you’ve learned in therapy or coaching just disappear the moment you get triggered?

Maybe you’ve meditated, journaled, or practiced new ways of responding—yet the moment your child melts down in public or your spouse says something dismissive, calm feels impossible.

You’re not alone—and you’re not broken.

This is exactly how the nervous system works when we’re under stress.

In this week’s episode, I share a novel way to find calm in your daily life—by becoming your own best friend. Through the simple practice of befriending yourself, you’ll learn how to bring the acceptance, empathy, and compassion of a trusted loved one into the hardest moments, so you can stay grounded no matter what’s happening around you.I’m sharing:

The #1 reason your hard-earned tools vanish when you’re triggered
How guilt and self-judgment make reactivity even worse (and what to do instead)
My favorite technique for handling those “blow your top” moments—befriending yourself
The 3-step framework of acceptance, empathy, and compassion you can use anywhere (yes, even when your child is having a tantrum in public)
Why this method works even when your frontal lobe goes offline

If you’ve ever felt stuck in the cycle of knowing better but not doing better, this episode will show you how to finally bring your learning into your daily life—so you can respond differently, without the guilt.

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

Submit your question

P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Do you know exactly what your limiting beliefs are… but still can’t seem to move past them?

Or maybe you’ve spotted the patterns holding you back, yet every time you try to take action, fear and resistance pull you right back in?

You’re not alone—and you’re not broken.

This is just how the subconscious mind works.

Last week in Part 1 of our Limiting Beliefs series, we uncovered the hidden beliefs quietly shaping your choices and sabotaging your progress.

This week in Part 2, we’re taking it to the next level—because once you see those beliefs, you have the power to shiftthem.

In this week’s episode of Heal Your Relationships, I’m sharing:

3 proven tools to remove limiting beliefs from your subconscious mind
The exact steps I used to release a lifelong belief about money that was holding me back
How this process allowed me to recreate my business, relationships, and daily life—without sacrificing financial stability
A simple identity-shifting question that rewires how you think, feel, and act in any area of your life

If you’ve done the work to identify your limiting beliefs but still feel stuck in the same cycles, this episode is your roadmap out.

With love,

Dr. Kavitha Sun

P.S. If you haven’t heard Part 1 yet—“3 Ways to Uncover Your Hidden Limiting Beliefs”—start there first. Then come back to this episode so you can put the tools into action.

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

Submit your question

P.P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Do you ever feel like you're doing everything right—reading the books, setting goals, saying the affirmations—but you're still stuck in the same patterns?

Or maybe you know exactly what you want… but no matter how hard you try, you just can’t get yourself to take action.

You're not lazy.

You're not broken.

You're likely bumping up against something much deeper: limiting beliefs.

In this week’s episode of Heal Your Relationships, I’m diving into:

“3 Ways to Uncover Your Hidden Limiting Beliefs”

Limiting beliefs live under the surface of our conscious mind. They silently shape our choices, habits, and how much we believe we’re allowed to dream. And unless we spot them, we can’t change them.In this episode, you’ll discover:

The 3 exact tools I used to uncover the limiting beliefs that were keeping me stuck
How to recognize your own recurring patterns of self-sabotage
A journaling trick that taps into your subconscious (this alone is worth listening for!)
How to stop blaming your stuckness on your circumstances—and finally start shifting them

If you’ve been repeating the same habits and getting the same old results, this is the episode you need.

Let’s bring those hidden beliefs to light—so you can create the life you keep saying you want.

With love, Dr. Kavitha Sun

P.S. This is part 1 of a 2-part series. In next week’s episode, I’ll show you how to shift those limiting beliefs. So make sure to listen to this one first!

Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...

You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):

Submit your question

P.P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide.

FREE tools:

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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For years, I didn’t even realize I was being triggered.

I thought I was just reacting like anyone would.

One moment, I’d be calmly sipping my tea — and the next, someone would say or do the wrong thing, and suddenly, it was like I’d been hijacked by a wild elephant.

Before I knew it, I was saying or doing things I’d later regret.It didn’t feel like a trigger—it just felt like... me.

Which honestly, made it even more confusing...

“If I had a huge reaction, it wasn’t because the situation was that big — it was because there was a raw spot within me. It’s like this: when you have an unhealed wound, even a gentle breeze can feel like a forest fire.” - Dr. Kavetha Sun

But here’s what shifted everything:

Triggers aren’t problems. They’re invitations.

In this week’s episode of Heal Your Relationships, I’m diving into:

Where triggers actually come from (and why it’s not about the other person)
A metaphor that will completely reframe how you think about reactivity
Two simple shifts to help you begin healing from the inside out

If you’ve ever wondered why certain things hit you so hard—or how to stop reacting in ways you regret—this is the episode you’ve been waiting for.

🚨 Got a burning question or situation you’d love my coaching on?

Submit it here for an upcoming Q&A episode (all totally anonymous!).

P.S. Love the Heal Your Relationships podcast? Your review could help someone else find exactly what they need. 💛

Leave a 5-star review, and send a screenshot here! And I’ll gift you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course as a thank you gift!

Remember, sharing is caring — if this episode resonated with you, don’t hesitate to forward it to someone who might need it today!

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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So… you gave yourself the pep talk. You swore you'd stay calm next time someone pushed your buttons.

And it worked!

…for like, two days 🤣

If you keep finding yourself overreacting — despite all the communication tools, journaling, or deep desire to do better — it might be time to go deeper.

In this week’s podcast, I’ll walk you through a gentle yet powerful practice that uses your imagination to access four inner resources that can help you start healing your inner child — yes, that part of you still carrying unspoken hurts, fears, and unmet needs.

This isn’t about more tactics. It’s about transformation.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

Why your inner child might be hijacking your emotions
How your brain uses imagination to rewire pain
4 healing resources that live within you — including one that might just be Dumbledore 🧙‍♂️
A guided exercise to install these calming, protective energies in your body

Listen now!

Whether you're deep in your healing journey or just starting to explore these ideas, this is a conversation that will stay with you.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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What if the goals you’re chasing aren’t really yours?

Or have you ever felt like you’re pushing toward something you’re “supposed” to want—even if it doesn’t really light you up?

Until you stop and look around and ask yourself—wait… is this really me?

If this feels familiar, this week’s episode might really hit home.

This week on the podcast, I’m diving into something I see so often (in myself and my clients): the difference between our true self and our pseudo-self.

Our pseudo-self can be very convincing. It’s shaped by childhood conditioning, social expectations, family pressures, and the rewards we’ve learned to crave. Sometimes it pushes us toward paths that look right on paper—but leave us feeling stuck, restless, or unfulfilled.

Ask yourself:

Are you working toward something you’re “supposed” to want—even if it doesn’t excite you?
Do you ever feel like you're checking boxes for other people instead of yourself?
Is there something you keep postponing, and you’re not even sure why?

Is the life that would be created out of this action one that is in alignment with my values and my desires and my higher self? - Dr. Kavetha Sun

In this episode, I share:

How to recognize when what you “want” isn’t coming from your true self
The personal story of my own fork-in-the-road moment (and what happened when I finally listened to my authentic self)
Questions to ask yourself if you’re facing a big decision right now
Why resisting your pseudo-self can feel scary—and why it’s worth it

If you’ve been procrastinating on something you say you want… it might not be about laziness. It could be your truest self hitting the brakes.

Tune in to uncover whether the path you’re on truly belongs to you—and start choosing what really lights you up.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Are you using "I statements" as a cheat sheet to dump your feelings on your partner?

If you’ve ever tried to communicate better in your relationship using “I statements,” you might be surprised to learn they can actually backfire when used the wrong way.

Having the tool of owning your feelings only works if you use it properly – otherwise, it breaks something. In this episode, I offer a psychological insight for us all to snack on and ask if we are really using the "I statement" appropriately.

We will look at how to talk without triggering each other, and the difference between owning your personal feelings effectively and simply using the sh*t sandwich that can be the "I statement" to project your feelings onto others.

This episode also contains the reminder that if you’re not having the goal of connection and greater understanding with your partner, then no amount of "I statements" is going to get you there. Over 90% of communication is non-verbal, so your body language might be saying something completely different too!

Please join me, as we explore healthy ways to get your feelings heard and your needs met.

We’ll unpack:

How “I statements” can be misused to blame or shame your partner
The real goal of connection behind effective communication
How to share your feelings without triggering defensiveness
Why 90% of communication is nonverbal—and how to use that to your advantage
The subtle difference between owning your feelings and projecting them

“If you’re not aiming for true connection and understanding, no amount of ‘I statements’ will get you there.” - Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy

Whether you’re talking to a partner, parent, or friend, these insights will help you make every tough conversation a little safer and more constructive.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Have you ever found yourself asking: Should I stay, or should I go?

Have you wondered if you’re giving up too soon… or staying too long?

Do you find yourself weighing your own needs against the hope of connection?

These questions come up so often in my work with people navigating complicated relationships—whether it’s with a partner, friend, parent, or sibling.

This week on the podcast, I’m sharing 5 essential questions to help you decide if a relationship is truly working for you. These are the questions I wish someone had taught me to ask myself years ago.

We'll talk about:

:heavy_check_mark: How to spot red flags like secrecy or aggression

:heavy_check_mark: How to think about attraction and connection

:heavy_check_mark: Whether you can share celebrations and struggles openly

:heavy_check_mark: And a bonus 6th question to help you keep your side of the street clean

If you’re wrestling with this choice (or know someone who is), this episode is for you.

Let’s make these tough decisions with clarity, honesty, and integrity—so you can choose in a way you'll be proud of for years to come.

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Have you ever scrolled endlessly through your phone, eaten something “comforting,” or binged a show—only to feel emptier afterward?

Do you ever wonder why, despite having so many conveniences at your fingertips, you still feel overwhelmed, scattered, or strangely unsatisfied?

You’re not broken.

There’s actually a reason behind this — and it has everything to do with your dopamine levels.

In this week's episode I unpack the paradox of instant pleasure in modern life—why we’re more “comfortable” than ever and yet more anxious, distracted, and disconnected.

Here’s what we'll talk:

Why modern life is overloaded with dopamine—and how that’s affecting your mood, motivation, and ability to focus.
How the pain/pleasure balance in the brain silently sabotages mental health and relationships.
Two simple practices to reset your nervous system, increase your peace, and reconnect to what truly matters.

“I firmly believe that the people who succeed in the next generation (our children) will be those that learn how to control and manage their attention. That is going to be the currency of the future.” ~ Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy

This episode is especially important for anyone navigating technology, parenting, burnout, or simply trying to stay present in a hyper-stimulated world.

Here’s to finding joy not in the instant, but in the meaningful.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Have you ever found yourself starting something with excitement… only to drop it a few weeks later?

Or maybe you push yourself obsessively for quick results—only to burn out and walk away?

You’re not alone.

In this week’s episode, I unpack one of the most powerful books I’ve read on personal growth: Mastery by George Leonard.

Through the lens of emotional mastery and relationships, I explore the 5 key lessons that transformed the way I think about progress, success, and why we give up too soon.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Why there’s no such thing as an “expert”… only lifelong learners
The 4 ways people typically approach learning — and which one leads to true mastery
How to reframe plateaus, resistance, and slow progress as signs of deep integration
And what it means to love the process so much that you don’t want it to end

Because... mastery isn’t about arriving.

It’s about deepening. Over and over again.

“If you are truly passionate about something and you want to gain some level of mastery in that, your first order of business is to set aside this notion that you’re going to arrive somewhere, and to take on the identity of a lifelong learner.” ~ Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy

And if you feel inspired—let me know:

What are you a lifelong student of?

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Have the past few years been tough on your relationship?

Have you found yourself in long, relentless arguments with your partner whereby you can no longer think compassionately?

Not to worry, you’re not alone.

In this episode, I unpack six of the most common phrases that poison relationships – and explore alternative responses that ultimately cause less hurt —without losing our truth.

From “You always...” to “Whatever you want,” I will dive into what’s really going on underneath those hurtful patterns.

💡 In this episode, you’ll learn:

Why “Why?” shuts people down—and what to ask instead
What to do when you feel overwhelmed or shut down
How to drop blame and speak from self-awareness
And how curiosity can turn any tough moment into connection

Let us look at what is underneath the hurt and resentment, and explore how our feelings shut down when we become emotionally overwhelmed.

✨ Because... it’s not about saying the perfect thing—it’s about staying connected to yourself and each other.

“Keep your cool, hold onto your truth, and don’t just take on your partner’s ‘why?’ Stay steady within and think: what does this signify? Gently, lovingly, say: ‘I would love to share ‘why’. Do you have some time? Are you really asking and would you really like to know?’ Then your partner is bound to have a curiosity-based conversation.”

~ Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Boundaries are meant to protect and nurture our relationships—but what if the way we’ve learned to use them is actually doing the opposite?

Most of us were never taught how to set healthy, flexible boundaries.

Instead, we either avoid them to keep the peace or enforce them so rigidly that we shut people out.

The result?

Resentment, isolation, or disconnect in the very relationships we’re trying to protect.

In this week’s podcast episode, “5 Boundary Myths That Hurt Relationships”, I break down five common but sneaky misconceptions about boundaries that can quietly erode trust, intimacy, and connection.

I share how I personally navigated two extremes—growing up with almost no boundaries and later encountering overly rigid ones—and how I found a balanced, compassionate middle path.

🎧 Tune in to learn:

Why “boundaries are a last resort” is a dangerous idea
How expecting others to honor your boundaries might backfire
Why being a “people pleaser” isn’t an identity—and how to shift it
What boundaries actually are for (hint: not just for others)

Whether your boundaries feel too loose or too tight, this episode will help you reframe them in a way that truly supports mutual respect and connection.

Hope you find it as helpful to hear as it was for me to share.

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Let me ask you something:

How secure do you feel in your closest relationships?

Do you find it easy to trust, open up, and rely on others—or do you sometimes feel anxious, distant, or afraid of being too much?

The way we attach to our partners, friends, or even children often stems from patterns we developed long before we were aware of them.

In this week’s podcast episode, we’re diving into one of the most powerful frameworks for understanding how we connect with others—attachment theory—and how it plays out in our marriages and adult relationships.

From early research in child psychology to the everyday ways we communicate, trust, and love today, this episode will help you recognize your own attachment style (secure, anxious, avoidant, or fearful) and what it might mean for your relationship patterns.

You’ll also learn 5 key skill sets that define secure attachment—and how to develop them, even if you’ve struggled with insecurity in the past.

Listen now – and take the first step toward more grounded, healthy connection.

Whether you're in a relationship, hoping to be in one, or reflecting on past ones, this conversation can shift how you show up for yourself and the people you love.

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Do you ever feel like you're stuck in the same emotional loops—frustrated, overwhelmed, reactive—no matter how hard you try to change?

Maybe you keep having the same arguments, falling into the same habits, or shutting down when things get hard… even though you know better.

It’s not because you’re broken—it’s because your emotional wiring is following an old script.

In this week's episode, I’m sharing The Emotional Freedom Formula—a powerful 7-step framework that blends science-backed tools from CBT, DBT, trauma healing, and identity work to help you:

Understand why you feel the way you do
Identify the hidden identity and beliefs shaping your reactions
Take back control and respond from a place of freedom, not habit

I also share a story (shoutout to Judy Hopps from Zootopia) that shows just how quickly shifting identity can shift behavior—even in a 3-year-old.

Listen to the Episode NOW!

This is the exact process we teach inside our Mastery membership, and it’s been a game-changer for so many. I can’t wait for you to try it.

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What if I told you that one key ingredient — secure attachment — can shape everything from your child’s ability to manage stress… to their future friendships, romantic relationships, and even leadership skills?

In this week’s podcast episode, "How to Raise a Secure and Happy Child," I break down what secure attachment really means, why it’s so powerful, and how you can foster it — even if you didn’t grow up with it yourself.

Here’s a peek at what you’ll learn:

✔️ The 3 core functions of secure attachment

✔️ The “4 S’s” every child needs: Safe, Seen, Soothed, and Secure

✔️ Why perfection isn’t the goal — and what really matters instead

✔️ How to break intergenerational cycles and build a new legacy

✔️ The difference between "attachment parenting" and true emotional attunement

Whether you’re a parent, caregiver, or simply someone passionate about healing and connection, this episode offers practical, heartfelt insight you can use right away.

🎧 Listen now!

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Are You Reacting or Processing? Here's The Truth About Emotional Maturity👇

We’ve all been there—overwhelmed, frustrated, or quietly disappointed—and unsure how to deal with what we’re feeling.

Maybe you find yourself snapping at someone you love.

Or shutting down and avoiding the conversation altogether.

Or numbing out with work, scrolling, or a glass of wine at the end of the day.

It’s not that we want to handle emotions this way—we just haven’t always been taught another path.

In this week’s podcast episode, we’ll break down three common signs of emotional immaturity—and what it actually looks like to respond with emotional wisdom instead.

We’ll talk about:

Why emotional immaturity is like holding a beach ball underwater
The difference between emotions and feelings (yes, there is one!)
The 3 ways we tend to avoid emotions: reacting, resisting, and distracting
A better way to process feelings—without hurting yourself or others

And as I always say:

“It is always helpful to express your anger, but reaction is not a mature expression of our anger.”

If you’ve ever wished for a more grounded, compassionate way to navigate your emotional life—this episode is for you.

👉 Tune in now and take the first step toward emotional maturity, one breath at a time.

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How often do we walk away from conversations feeling more misunderstood than when you started?

It happens to the best of us—and the root cause is usually communication.In this episode, I'll share the 4 Conscious Communication Tools that have transformed not only my relationships but those of thousands of my friends and clients around the world.

Whether you’re navigating conversations with your partner, your child, your team—or even your inner critic—this framework will give you a roadmap for deeper connection, clarity, and healing.

Here’s what you’ll learn in the episode:

A personal story about miscommunication (and blowing your own whistle!)
Why conversations go wrong—and what to do instead
The 4 C’s framework that will change the way you relate forever:
Context: How to enter every conversation with a clear and helpful intention
Clarity: The secret to helping someone feel truly understood
Compassion: A simple way to leave people feeling encouraged—not defensive
Cure: What actually works when it comes to finding new, lasting solutions
What to do when someone comes at you with blame, anger, or complaints
How to co-create outcomes that actually reflect both people’s needs

This episode is packed with real-life examples and actionable tools you can apply immediately—even to the hardest conversations.

If communication is the foundation of every great relationship, this is your blueprint.

👉 Listen now!

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By the time we hit 30, every one of us has experienced some form of trauma — whether it’s a “big T” or a series of quiet, persistent “little t’s.” But most of us are never taught how to recognize its hidden impact on our minds, our bodies, or our relationships.

That’s why I created this week’s podcast episode, where I walk you through:

The 3 key areas where hidden trauma shows up — mind, body, and behavior
How to recognize it in yourself and others
And 6 powerful tools you can begin using right now to start the healing process

One of the most transformative tools I talk about is somatic healing — learning how to reconnect with your body in gentle and effective ways.

If you're curious about going deeper, our program Resilience 360 offers somatic-based tools and guided practices that have helped so many people reclaim their calm, clarity, and confidence after trauma.

Listen to the episode NOW!

Healing doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. Sometimes, it just starts with understanding what’s going on underneath the surface — and knowing you don’t have to face it alone.

So if you've ever felt stuck in unexplainable patterns, struggled to trust, or sensed a heaviness in your body that doesn't go away — this episode is for you.

Healing doesn't happen all at once. But it does begin with awareness.

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Let’s get real: Stress isn’t going anywhere. Life is full of deadlines, difficult conversations, and moments that make our hearts race.

That’s normal.

But chronic stress—the kind that never quite shuts off—can slowly chip away at your physical health, your mental clarity, and your relationships.

In this episode, I'll share with you a powerful 60-second breathing technique that can be used in the middle of a stressful situation to calm your nervous system—without having to step away from life.

Because you can’t escape stress—but you can stop it from running your life.

In this short and practical episode, you’ll learn:

Why stress isn't the enemy (but chronic stress is)
The science behind your body’s incomplete stress response
What wild animals can teach us about emotional recovery
A quick, research-backed breathing technique called the physiological sigh that helps release trapped tension—instantly

Whether you're in a meeting, stuck in traffic, or having a hard conversation—you can do this technique right then and there. It’s simple, science-backed, and surprisingly effective.

Ready to feel more calm and in control—without needing to meditate for 20 minutes?

Listen to the episode NOW!

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You know that argument you’ve had 27 times—the one where you both say the same things, take the same positions, and walk away just as frustrated?

Yeah, we’re talking about that one.

But what if the way you’ve been taught to communicate... is only half the story?

In today’s episode of the podcast, we’re diving into one of the most requested (and needed!) topics: How to navigate conversations when the other person doesn’t have the tools or interest to meet you halfway.

Yes, exactly —without needing the other person to do anything differently.

If you stick for this episode you’ll learn:

🧠 Why your usual conversations keep going in circles
🗺️How to set a new “context” that anchors you when things get tense
⚒️The one skill that can instantly shift the tone (spoiler: it’s not what you say)

This one’s a game changer—hit play and take notes. It might just shift how you show up in every relationship.

Listen now

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Do you ever wish you could walk into any room, any conversation, or any challenge with unshakable confidence?

In this week’s episode of the podcast, I’m diving into a question I get all the time:

How can I become more confident—even when I feel like I’m not enough, or like I don’t belong?

We often think confidence is about “faking it till you make it” or just trying harder—but true, lasting confidence is deeper than that.

In this episode, I’ll walk you through a simple but powerful framework:

The 4 Types of Confidence

Emotional Confidence
Effort Confidence
Skill Confidence
Relational Confidence

Whether you’re struggling with people-pleasing, imposter syndrome, setting boundaries, or going after your dreams—this episode is for you.

Listen now!

And if this episode resonates with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts—or your own story. Hit reply, or leave a comment or review.

NUEVO

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You’ve probably heard this before: “

You just need to feel your feelings to heal.”

But here’s the thing— What if your real struggle is that you feel them too much?

In this week’s episode, I’m diving deep into one of the biggest myths in talk therapy… and what to do instead if you’re someone who:

Goes from calm to overwhelmed in a matter of seconds
Shuts down and ruminates for hours when triggered
Ends up unintentionally damaging close relationships due to emotional intensity

I know this pattern intimately—because I’ve lived it myself.

And I know how draining it can be.That’s why I’m sharing 7 powerful, science-backed tools you can use immediately to calm intense emotions and stop the spiral before it starts.

So if you listen to it, you’ll learn:

What a “trigger signature” is (and how to identify yours)
A step-by-step protocol to shift from emotional chaos to calm
Simple but transformative techniques to reset your nervous system
Why healing core wounds is essential—and how to start

This episode is especially for the high-achievers with hidden trauma… the ones who hold it together until they can’t anymore.

If that’s you, this might be the conversation that changes everything.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Are you truly in control of your life, or do you feel like you're constantly reacting to what happens around you?

In our latest Heal Your Relationships podcast episode, we explore the 3 Pillars of Mastery—the foundation for a meaningful life, thriving relationships, and a legacy you’re proud of.

You'll learn:

The key to mastering your thoughts, emotions, and actions for true fulfillment.
Why your relationships—not your achievements—define your life’s meaning.
How to stop postponing your purpose and start living in alignment with your values today.

These insights can change everything—if you apply them, you can take control of your life, your relationships, and your future.

Listen to the episode now!

You are the captain of your life—start steering it in the right direction today.

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Have you ever wondered what life would mean without death? What if the key to resilience and fulfillment lies in how we respond to suffering?

These are the questions that Dr. Viktor Frankl, Holocaust survivor, psychiatrist, and author of Man’s Search for Meaning, devoted his life to answering.

After enduring unimaginable suffering in Auschwitz, he developed logotherapy, a powerful psychological approach centered on finding meaning in all circumstances—including pain and loss.

In this week’s podcast episode, I dive into five profound lessons from Frankl’s work that have personally shaped my life:

Why suffering is essential to a meaningful life (and how to shift your perspective).
The surprising connection between self-forgiveness and service—how giving to others can heal our deepest wounds.
Why chasing happiness and success doesn’t work—and what to focus on instead
How seeing life as a "story" rather than random events can help you find clarity and purpose.
The power of compassion over judgment—how understanding others can free you from resentment

Frankl believed that despair isn’t just suffering—it’s suffering without meaning. His wisdom has been a guiding force in my own journey, and I can’t wait to share these insights with you.

Listen now.

If you've read Man’s Search for Meaning, I’d love to hear what lessons stood out to you. And if you haven't, this episode is the perfect introduction!

Looking forward to your thoughts!

REE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Ever find yourself suddenly set off by a comment, a look, or even just a tone of voice? And then, before you know it, you're reacting—snapping back, shutting down, or reaching for distractions?

We all have triggers. But here’s the game-changer:

What If Your Triggers Were Actually a Gift?

In my latest podcast episode, we’re flipping the script on triggers and diving deep into:

Why certain things trigger you (and others don’t)
The 3 ways we commonly deal with triggers—displacement, suppression, and distraction (and how they keep us trapped)
A simple but powerful process to stop reacting and start healing—so you can move through life with more ease and resilience

If you’ve ever thought, I just wish I didn’t get triggered so easily—this episode is for you. You’ll walk away with real tools to shift your perspective and start using your triggers as a path to growth, rather than frustration.

Listen now!

After you listen, I’d love to hear—what’s your biggest takeaway? Hit reply and let me know!

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Ever feel like your emotions are at the mercy of the people and situations around you? One minute, everything’s fine—the next, you’re overwhelmed, irritated, or stuck in a spiral of frustration.

It’s easy to feel peaceful when things are going your way. But what about when they’re not

?What if you could stay calm and in control, no matter what life throws at you?

That’s exactly what we’re diving into in this week’s episode. You’ll discover:

Why pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional—and how to stop adding unnecessary suffering to your life.

Three key questions to ask yourself when dealing with difficult emotions.

How to shift your core beliefs and identity so you can create the inner peace you’ve been craving.

This episode is filled with powerful questions and insights that will help you start shifting the way you process emotions and navigate life’s ups and downs—starting today.

P.S. To make this even easier, I’ve created a PDF guide summarizing everything from the episode.

Download it here: [https://bit.ly/EmotionalFreedomFormula] and keep it handy as you listen!I’d love to hear what resonates with you—just hit reply and let me know!

Tune in and start your journey to emotional freedom today!

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Ever felt stuck in analysis paralysis, going back and forth on a big decision—only to feel more confused than when you started? You’re not alone.

Every day, we make hundreds of decisions—some small, like whether to hit snooze or how much sugar to add to our coffee.

But others?

They can change the course of our lives. Choosing where to live, whether to take that job, or when to end (or start) a relationship—these choices carry weight. And sometimes, the fear of making the wrong one keeps us stuck.

But here’s the thing: staying stuck? That’s a decision, too.What if there were a framework to help you feel certain about your choices, no matter the outcome?

What if you could stand by every decision you make with confidence and even pride?That’s exactly what we’re diving into in this week’s episode.

I’m sharing my 3x3 Decision-Making Framework—a powerful system to help you make clear, confident choices you won’t regret.If you’ve ever agonized over a decision—whether about your career, relationships, or personal growth—this episode is for you.

P.S. If this episode resonates, hit reply and let me know what decisions you’re currently working through. I’d love to hear from you!

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by emotional triggers, conflict, or overthinking the past—you’re not alone.

For years, I took everything personally. Criticism, rejection, even small comments would send me into self-doubt and spirals of overthinking. But that’s not my reality anymore.

Everything changed when I discovered a process that rewired my emotional responses, stopped my triggers at the root, and helped me build stronger, healthier relationships—without years of traditional therapy.

In my latest podcast episode, I’m sharing exactly how I did it and how you can too:

✅ Stop getting triggered by others’ words or actions

✅ Heal deep emotional wounds that keep you stuck

✅ Handle tough conversations without shutting down or lashing out

If you’ve ever struggled with emotional triggers or difficult relationships, I know this episode will resonate.

🎧 Listen here.

You deserve peace, clarity, and thriving relationships. Let’s make it happen.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Ever feel like you’re stuck in a loop—digging a hole, falling in, climbing out… only to do it all over again?

That’s what happens when we chase quick fixes instead of building real self-trust. We get that dopamine hit from setting a big goal—signing up for the gym, buying a fancy planner, committing to a morning routine.

But then… we fall right back into old patterns…

In this week’s podcast episode, I break down how to finally break the cycle—not by doing more, but by doing less (and doing it consistently).

You must be thinking that I've gone crazy! How is that possible?

Well, I'll explain why chasing big, flashy changes doesn’t stick—and what actually does.

The secret?

Tiny, consistent actions (like brushing your teeth—no fanfare, just habit).

This is about actual transformation—not another round of "falling and digging yourself out."

Ready to change the way you approach your goals?

Listen to the episode now!

Let’s build something that lasts.

P.S. What’s one small, doable habit you’re committing to this week? Hit reply and let me know!

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Did you know that 63% of adults in the U.S. are living with hidden childhood trauma—and most don’t even realize it?

Unrecognized trauma doesn’t just affect your mood—it can increase your risk of serious health issues like lung disease and heart disease, and even shorten your life expectancy by up to 20 years.

That’s why in this week’s podcast episode, I am uncovering the Top 5 Hidden Signs of Childhood Trauma and how they show up in your life:

Intellectual hypervigilance: Are you constantly overthinking or suspicious of others' motives?
Emotional numbing or dissociation: Do you feel "checked out" from life or disconnected from your emotions?
Emotional dysregulation: Are your moods on a constant rollercoaster, leaving you feeling exhausted and misunderstood?
The glass ceiling effect: Does it feel like something is holding you back in your career, no matter how hard you work?
Sex and libido issues: Do you feel ashamed or confused about your desires and relationships?

With this episode, I aim to dive deep into these often-overlooked signs, uncovering how they silently shape your health, sabotage your relationships, and hold you back from living a truly fulfilling and joyful life.

Don’t miss out—Click here to listen now!

P.S. Stay tuned—I’ll also be sharing an upcoming episode on the 3-step system that helped me heal my own hidden trauma.

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Welcome to the final step in our Getting Unstuck journey—Step 5!

Over the past few episodes, we’ve explored powerful tools for navigating your inner world and creating real change.

In this week's episode "What Are Feelings and How to TRULY Let Go," we bring it all together.

Now, it’s time to take action with a step-by-step homework assignment that ties it all together:

Your Homework for the Whole Series:

Pick a Small, Measurable Goal: Choose something you’ve been procrastinating or feeling stuck about—something specific and achievable.
Notice Your Thoughts, Feelings, and Sensations: As you take steps toward this goal, observe the passengers on your “bus”—those thoughts, feelings, and urges that try to hold you back.
Label and Accept Them with Kindness: Write them down. Say, “I notice the thought that…” or “I notice the feeling of…” and respond with, “And that’s okay.”
Find the Feeling in Your Body: Where does it show up? What does it feel like? Make space for it by imagining opening windows and letting it be.
Ask Yourself, “What’s One Thing I Can Do?” Instead of battling the emotions, shift your focus to what you can do. Take one small action to move forward.

Pro Tip: Repeat this process daily or whenever you feel stuck. With practice, you’ll notice the resistance quieting down and a sense of freedom emerging.

Need a Refresher? You can find here the whole series episodes. [https://apple.co/40HyHQx]

The power of transformation lies in action, and I can’t wait to hear how this process works for you.

Share your progress with me —I’d love to celebrate your wins and answer any questions.Here’s to leaving “stuck” behind and stepping into a life of clarity, purpose, and freedom!

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So, in last week’s episode—Step 3 of Getting Unstuck—we explored how to “drive your school bus.”

Good for you!

That’s a huge step toward understanding how to navigate life’s challenges while staying grounded in who you truly are.

But let’s face it—what if the kids on the bus (a.k.a. your thoughts and emotions) are loud, angry, crying, or making impossible demands?

How do you manage all of that without losing control?

This week, we’re taking it a step further. In this fourth step of the Getting Unstuck Series, I’m introducing you to a simple yet transformative tool that will help you handle the chaos safely, calmly, and compassionately.

Whether you’re managing emotional turbulence, intrusive thoughts, or just the general overwhelm of life, this strategy is here to help you regain clarity and control.

If you’ve ever felt like your emotions are in the driver’s seat—or that your inner “school bus” is headed off the rails—this is the episode for you.

Are you ready to learn how to quiet the noise and bring peace to your inner world?

Let’s GO!

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Do you ever feel like life pulls you in so many directions that you lose touch with who you truly are?

Or struggle to find clarity and alignment when everything around you feels overwhelming?

This week, we’re diving into Step 3 of getting unstuck: How do you stay connected with your true self?

Last week, we explored a powerful exercise to shift your perspective and help you see that you are not your thoughts and feelings. If you haven’t had a chance to listen yet, it’s a great starting point for this next step in our journey together.

So, in this week's encore episode, we’ll focus on a common challenge—how to stay true to who you really are when life gets busy and emotions take over.

Allow me to introduce you to something I call “the school bus between your ears.”

Intriguing, right?

This metaphor has been one of the most impactful mindset tools for me and many of my clients. It will help you navigate challenges while staying true to yourself. So, if you want to know everything about the school bus analogy...

Take some time to listen—it could be the step you’ve been needing to move forward with more clarity and confidence.

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts and experiences with this approach.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Happy New Year! 🎉

As we step into 2025—a season of fresh beginnings and endless possibilities—I wanted to share something special with you.

Today, we’ll be doing a little experiment that could change the way you view yourself forever.

It’s a powerful exercise that will show you in real-time that you are not your thoughts or feelings.

Now imagine this: If you are not your thoughts or emotions, then who are you, really?

The answer might surprise—and even delight—you.

This exercise is your chance to break free from limiting beliefs and experience a new way of being. Once you’ve seen it for yourself, you’ll never look at yourself the same way again.

Here’s the fun part: This is a repurposed episode from one of our earlier podcasts, but it’s just as powerful today. Think of it as a New Year’s encore gift to bring clarity, peace, and a stronger sense of self into your life as we begin this new chapter.

So, grab a cup of tea, find a quiet spot, and just tune in!

Wishing you a peaceful, empowered, and inspiring start to 2025!

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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I want to share something deeply personal: my journey from traditional psychiatry to helping people heal at a foundational level.

After losing my mother to suicide and stepping into a parenting role for my siblings at a young age, I had questions that shaped my life: Why do people suffer? Can we truly heal? These questions led me to psychiatry, but over time, I realized the system often felt like treating symptoms instead of the root cause.

My own healing journey taught me a powerful truth: true recovery begins by reconnecting with our bodies, calming our nervous systems, and building a solid foundation of safety within ourselves. This approach transformed my life, and now I’m dedicated to helping others do the same.

If you’re curious about my story or looking for ways to reconnect with yourself and truly heal, I’d love for you to tune in.

Listen to the episode here: [Insert Link]

That’s why I started this podcast—to share what I’ve learned, offer tools for healing, and spark meaningful conversations. If my story resonates, I’d love to hear yours. Share your story, thoughts, or questions—I’m here to listen.

Take care,

Kavetha

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Do you feel like you're starting the year in a cycle that you can’t break? Maybe you're stuck in your relationships, your career, or your fitness goals?

What if you could finally break free and start 2025 with a fresh, empowered mindset?

Well, I have something special for you.

In this week's encore episode of the podcast, we’re diving into 5 powerful steps to get unstuck—from anything that’s holding you back.

Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed by your current situation or just know you need a change, these 5 steps will give you the tools to shift your mindset and create real breakthroughs. So if you are ready apply them over the next few days, you'll be ready to move forward—no matter what you feel stuck in.

So, shall we dive in?

In today’s encore episode, we’ll uncover how the human brain works and why it sometimes feels like quicksand, pulling us deeper into unproductive loops. Once you understand this, you’ll start to see the way forward clearly.

Here’s to ending 2024 strong and kicking off 2025 with confidence and clarity!

Listen now and get ready to break free!

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Have you ever felt like you're doing everything “right” in your relationships?

Or you feel like you are using all the tools you have gathered to better communicate with them —reading the books, attending counseling, even using those famous “I statements”—but still not seeing the connection you want?

You’re not alone. I see this all the time.

Even I used to fall into these same traps just a few years ago.

That’s why I'd like to break down the I statements for you; Why they often fail and what you can do instead to create genuine understanding and connection in your relationships.

In this week's episode we'll go into the two biggest mistakes people make when using 'I statements' (hint: it’s not about the words themselves) or How focusing on the wrong goal can sabotage your communication and thus, your connection.

If you’re ready to ditch the “I statement trap” and learn tools to truly connect with your loved ones, this episode is for you.

Click here to listen now!

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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I hope your Thanksgiving was full of love, connection, and heartfelt moments!

Last week, we explored That One Skill That Can Make or Break Connection and how to use it to deepen relationships during the holidays.

This week, we’re shifting focus to the little ones in our lives with the second episode in this Thanksgiving-inspired series:

Thanksgiving and Beyond: Instilling Thankfulness in Your Kids

Or just How to Teach Gratefulness to Our Children.

As parents, we know gratitude is key to happiness and success—but let’s be honest: teaching it isn’t always easy, especially in today’s world of abundance.

So, how can we instill a true sense of gratitude in our kids?

In this episode, you’ll learn that Gratitude isn’t just a feeling; it’s a practice that can transform our relationships, especially within our families.

Let’s make this holiday season more than just gifts and gatherings. With these tools, you can nurture grateful hearts in your children, setting them up for a lifetime of happiness and resilience.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox: https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun: https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Happy Thanksgiving!

This season invites us to focus on what truly matters—celebrating love, creating memories, and nurturing bonds with the people we care about most. But let’s be honest: maintaining those connections isn’t always as effortless as it seems.

So, let me ask you:

Do you feel like some relationships have grown distant?
Are you wondering how to rebuild the closeness you once had?

If your answer is yes, here’s the good news: there’s hope, and this season is the perfect opportunity to pause, reflect, and take meaningful steps toward reconnecting.

How?

By mastering That One Skill That Can Make or Break Connection. In this week's podcast episode, I share the essential tool for fostering and repairing relationships—whether it’s with your partner, a family member, or a dear friend, and there’s no better time to start than right now!

As you gather around the table this Thanksgiving, use what you learn to spark heartfelt conversations, rebuild bridges, and create memories you’ll treasure for years to come. Let this Thanksgiving be about more than gratitude—make it a moment of healing, growth, and deep connection.

Listen to the Episode HereSending you love, warmth, and growth this holiday season,

P.S. Share this episode with someone you’re grateful for—it might be the start of a meaningful reconnection.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Last week, we explored how breaking down big goals into small, achievable steps can help you close out 2024 strong and set yourself up for success in 2025.

But how do you stay motivated and on track when life gets busy?

This week, we’re diving into a simple yet powerful tool that can help you stay focused, even during overwhelming times. It’s a practice that turns your long-term vision into daily action, keeping you motivated and grounded at every step.

And the tool? Journaling—but not just any journaling!

This isn’t about venting or using your journal as a punching bag. I’m sharing a specific journaling framework that has been essential in helping me achieve clarity and growth—even on the most chaotic days.

If you're ready to continue building momentum toward your goals and set yourself up for success in the new year, don’t miss this episode. Learn how just a few minutes of daily reflection can lead to consistent growth, and get inspired to keep pushing toward the goals that matter most.Tune in now to get started!

Let’s write our way to success! You've got this!

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Have you ever set big goals but couldn’t make consistent progress?

Or maybe you’ve felt stuck trying to make new habits stick?

As we enter the last couple of months of the year, it's the perfect time to review 2024 and reflect on which areas of your life you want to keep and what you'd like to change.

Now is the moment to think about what you want to accomplish in 2025. But how do you set goals you’ll actually stick to? And how can you start building momentum now?

In this week’s podcast episode, we’re diving into a simple strategy for creating lasting habits that don’t overwhelm you.It’s all about breaking down your big goals into small, achievable steps, building them into your daily routine, and making them feel natural—long before the new year even begins.

What if you’re not even sure what your goals are yet? How do you decide? Well, let's start with what’s essential to you, so you can build from there.

If you’re looking to close out the year strong and start 2025 already on track with goals that matter, this episode is for you. Learn how to set yourself up for success without the stress, and discover a formula that will help you stay on course throughout the year.

Let’s make 2025 your best year yet. Tune in now to get started!

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Do you sometimes feel like conversations with your partner are turning into arguments lately?

Or that you’re often misunderstood, even when you try to talk openly?

If you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not alone.

I know. I've been there and know that feeling when you are seeking connection through a deep conversation but somehow that conversation just doesn't go as planned.

In a world where communication often falls short—even when we're looking at the same reality—misunderstandings seem to grow, and the divide feels wider than ever. But what if you could break through those barriers? What if you could grab your partner by the hand and say, "There's something I really need to talk about"?

So, how can you do this?

Let me introduce you to my Communication Framework for Having Difficult Conversations. This thoughtful approach will help you address even the most sensitive topics with calm and understanding.Here’s how you can get started:

1- Let Go of Being Right or Wrong – Shift the focus from “winning” the conversation to understanding each other’s perspectives. This creates a safe space where both of you feel heard.

2- Rebuild the Affinity You Once Had – That deep connection you shared? It’s still there. By focusing on that shared bond, you’ll find it easier to navigate even the most difficult discussions.

3- Use The 2-Way Communication Cycle & The 2-Circle Method for Mutual Needs – These tools ensure that both of you feel understood and respected while addressing each other’s needs.

If you want to learn how to apply these techniques and bring back meaningful, open conversations with your partner, make sure to listen to this week’s podcast episode NOW!

I trust that with the right tools, you’ll turn every conversation into a step toward greater connection and deep understanding.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Do you ever feel misunderstood and distant from your partner?

Or struggle to get your point across, despite your best intentions?

I get it. For years, I found myself making the same mistakes in conversations over and over again—only to end up feeling disconnected and frustrated.

And yes, even now, I still catch myself making these same old mistakes from time to time.But over time, I developed what I call the Three Communication Shifts that Can Shift the Energy of any Conversation - even when they start going south.

So, if you find yourself in this same situation and are tired of having the same old conversations over and over again - that lead to misunderstandings and distance... These shifts can help you transform them into moments of true connection and understanding.

Here’s how:

Set the Context of Your Conversations.
Listen with Curiosity—not Judgment.
Move from Sympathy to Empathy.

To hear more about these simple, yet effective shifts and how you can start using them today, check out this week’s podcast episode. They can be that shift you were looking for and make a big difference in your relationships—whether at home, at work, or with friends.

Ready to start transforming your conversations? [Click here to listen to the episode now!]

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Have you ever wondered why some conversations just click while others leave you feeling misunderstood?

How often have you found yourself frustrated because communication with your partner, colleague, or even a friend just doesn’t seem to “land” the way you intended?

If you're nodding along, you're not alone.

In my latest podcast episode, I’m diving into something that touches all of us—The Four Universal Laws of Successful Communication. It's a topic that comes up 80% of the time when I work with people, yet the solutions out there are often more confusing than helpful. So I wanted to share the REAL insights that can turn your conversations around.

We'll talk about Connection before Correction, Process Over Content, The Importance of Feeling Understood, and most importantly Healing Yourself First for Better Communication…

I truly believe these tips can make a significant difference in your life, and I can’t wait for you to hear them. If this resonates, let's have a conversation!

I'll tell you how you can start mastering these techniques to get better results in all your relationships.

Ready to transform the way you communicate? [Listen to the episode now!]

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Do you know the Nine Parts of a Thriving Relationship?

Do you want to know if your relationship fulfills all of them?

Most importantly... Are you ready to transform your relationships and create a legacy of love?

In this week's podcast episode, I dive deep into the Nine Parts of a Thriving Relationship—the essential building blocks for fostering a deep and meaningful connection with your partner.

We'll cover topics such as The Power of Love and Legacy, How to Build an Unshakeable Core, How to Resolve Conflict with Ease and How to Restore Connection so that you can grow the feeling of peace, passion, and play in your relationship!

As always, this episode isn’t just about theory; it’s packed with actionable tools and tricks that can make a real.

So whether you’re looking to deepen your connection or navigate tough times, there’s something here for everyone.

Listen to the Episode Now!

P.S.: We’re here to support you on your journey. If you find yourself rating below a 12 on our relationship scale, don’t hesitate to reach out!

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Do you feel stuck in your relationship?

Does it feel like you two are caught up in the same old patterns?

You might be ensnared in one—or even several—of what I call "Traps That Poison Love." These traps can range from having overly rigid boundaries to having too superficial ones... Or fixating on repetitive arguments instead of understanding the underlying processes of how and why you argue.

This week's podcast episode marks a new chapter in our series dedicated to helping you break free from relationship patterns that no longer serve you.

If you’d like to know more about what these five traps are, or if you suspect you and your partner might be stuck in one of them, I’m here to tell you there is a way out of that prison!

Tune in to discover how to break free from these patterns and foster a more nurturing and connected relationship.

Leave behind the traps that have been weighing you down, and step into a brighter future together.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Have you ever caught yourself or your partner saying things like “Whatever,” “Never mind,” or “You made me do this”?

These phrases, along with a few others, are surprisingly common in many relationships. While they may seem harmless at the moment, they can cause serious damage over time by creating distance and frustration between you and your partner.

I know how easy it is to let them slip out—we’ve all been there, myself included!

So after working with hundreds of people and their partners, I’ve noticed that these 6 specific phrases consistently appear in relationships that are struggling. They serve as a barometer, revealing hidden resentment and lack of trust over time.

Curious about what these 6 phrases are?

In this week’s podcast episode, we’ll not only reveal them but also dive into how they can damage your relationship over time and how you can replace them with healthier, more effective communication habits. The idea is for you to apply these simple shifts that can help heal the resentment and rebuild trust.

We’re also kicking off a new series focused on helping you get unstuck from relationship patterns that aren’t serving you, so make sure to follow the podcast for more!

Don’t miss out—tune in now and start transforming the way you communicate in your relationships.

Looking forward to having you listen!

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Continuing with the topic of Sex & Intimacy – Last year, I sat down with Dr. Sadaf Lodhi for an episode titled "Where Sexual Intimacy and Emotional Intimacy Meet." As you know, in the past few weeks, I’ve released episodes focused on this theme, and since many of you were particularly interested, I thought now would be the perfect time to revisit this insightful conversation with Dr. Lodhi.

Sexual health remains a taboo topic in many circles, even for physicians. Many of us, including OBGYNs, didn’t receive sufficient sexual education during our training. This is precisely why Dr. Sadaf Lodhi decided to become a sexual coach — to fill this significant knowledge gap.

Dr. Lodhi is a board-certified OBGYN and executive coach for women, with over 20 years of experience. She earned her Bachelor of Science in Biochemistry from the University of Michigan and her Doctorate in Osteopathic Medicine from Michigan State University. She also completed her residency in gynecology and obstetrics in Michigan, and went on to earn her life and executive coach certification from Rutgers University.

Today, Dr. Lodhi runs a telehealth practice focusing on sexual and menopausal health, serving women in New York and Michigan. Her mission has always been to empower and educate women, helping them build sexual confidence and find pleasure in their relationships.

So if you missed this episode the first time around, or are eager to revisit the conversation, join us as we continue exploring where sexual intimacy and emotional intimacy meet. This is an important and ongoing conversation, and we’re excited to dive back into it with you!

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

P.S.: Connect with Dr. Sadaf Lodhi:

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/drsadafobgyn/
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@drsadafobgyn
Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-muslim-sex-podcast/id1603471810
Website - https://drsadaf.com/

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This week, I'm revisiting the topic of Initiating and Refusing Sex, as so many of you found it helpful last week. I hope it sparked such great conversations! Since many of you requested more guidance and examples, I’m excited to share that I’ve just recorded a follow-up episode.

If you find it challenging to initiate a conversation about sex and intimacy?

Or perhaps struggle with how to refuse an interaction with your partner in a way that feels right for both you and your partner?

Tune in to listen to this week's podcast as we go even deeper into essential skills for building connection and trust in your relationship, including how to initiate and gently refuse sex. Most of us haven’t been taught these crucial skills, but they can make a huge difference in keeping intimacy alive—no matter the challenges life brings.

If you enjoyed last week’s episode, I think you'll love this one even more. Click here to listen!

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Do you find it challenging to initiate a conversation about sex and intimacy?

Or perhaps you struggle with how to refuse an interaction with your partner in a way that feels right?

I understand—it can be really uncomfortable. That’s why in this episode, we tackle a topic that’s often approached with either discomfort or a focus on problems: sex and intimacy.

As in this topic, my approach focuses on shifting from discussing problems to exploring playful and safe ways to connect with your intimacy and rather keeping it alive. So if you'd like to earn how to discuss intimacy with your partner in a way that fosters connection and understanding, without the pressure of “yes” or “no” responses, tune in now!

Whether you’re just starting these conversations or looking to deepen your existing connection, this episode is key for building a stronger relationship.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Do you know what your Unanswerable Question (UAQ) is?

You might be wondering what I mean by that. Sometimes when I talk about your UAQ, people misunderstand.

The truth is, you can't answer this question for yourself.

And no one else can give you the answer that truly satisfies you. Even when someone tries to convince or reassure you, it just doesn't feel enough...

That's because your Unanswerable Question needs to be answered by you.

The key is to turn inward and connect with your inner child—the part of you that was wounded long ago and has carried that wound ever since.

In this episode, I’ll guide you on a journey to reconnect with that part of yourself, help you answer your Unanswerable Question, and introduce you to your three primal needs—and how to nourish them.

Tune in to get to know yourself better and to start living a more fulfilling and connected life.

Remember, there's nothing wrong with you. You're simply a human being with needs that deserve to be nourished.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Feeling stuck in your relationship?

Lost hope for that deep connection and intimacy you once shared?

It’s tough when the spark seems to fade. But don’t lose hope—there’s a way to restore that deep connection and intimacy.

In fact, I know the number 1 Aphrodisiac that can bring back that spark into your relationship.

The key? It’s not love languages or date nights. Instead, it starts with something more profound: emotional intimacy, which involves being open to being genuinely vulnerable and present with your spouse.

If you’re feeling lost and unsure how to build emotional intimacy, tune into this week's episode. I’ll explore emotional intimacy in depth and discuss two additional key factors to help you foster that deep and loving connection you once had.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Do you feel like you are drifting away from your relationship?

Has your love for each other faded away over time?

So you feel like you are in love with your spouse, but you’re not in love with him any longer.

Let's talk about a common misconception: the idea that if you're happily committed, you must always be in love.

This is just a belief.

And let me tell you that you have the power to shape your own beliefs consciously, and that includes how you perceive love and commitment in your relationship.

In this week’s episode, we explore the concept of "falling in and out of love" and how these shifts can be a natural part of a long-term relationship. I’ll also share practical strategies for navigating these changes and maintaining a strong and fulfilling bond with your partner.

Tune in to discover what emotional risk-taking is, and the power of understanding each other’s universe to keep your relationship thriving.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Do you feel like your relationship is stuck in a rut?

Do you wonder if you should stay or leave, or if you’re truly meant to be together?

I understand that these feelings can be challenging. That’s why I’d like to introduce you to the concept of workability. As this approach goes beyond simple compatibility.

While compatibility, is the foundation of a strong connection. Workability, is about finding solutions that honor both you and your partner's core needs. It’s about building a stronger, lasting connection.

In this episode, I’ll guide you through how to embrace and celebrate the differences in your relationship. You’ll also learn practical tools to maintain authenticity and create a meaningful bond.

Tune in to explore new ways to not only save your relationship but to live a meaningful and fulfilling one.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Do you know what shutting down, withdrawing, and stonewalling have in common?

Do you see yourself or your spouse in that description?

I have experienced this a lot in my past. I didn’t even know I was stonewalling—I didn’t have a word for it.

Embarrassingly, I used to go for days without talking to the person I was living with because I was upset.

So believe me, I understand how it feels internally when you are in shutdown mode. Thankfully, I’ve learned a lot over the years about what’s happening in someone’s nervous system and in a relationship.

And now, I want to share all of that with you.

In this episode, I dive into how your attachment style influences these behaviors and will teach you strategies to foster better communication and connection with your partner.

If this resonates with you, tune in to gain a deeper understanding of your relationship and how to build a stronger one.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Is your partner often angry or critical with you or your family?

Do they sometimes overlook your feelings or opinions?

I understand—it can be challenging, especially during arguments, but it doesn’t have to stay that way.

There are ways to turn negative interactions, like escalating conflicts or silent treatment, into opportunities for positive change.

In this week’s episode, I’ll share a couple of strategies to help you de-escalate emotions, set healthy boundaries, and communicate in ways that foster understanding and connection.

Tune in now to learn all about these tips and start building a more fulfilling connection.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Do you feel stuck and overwhelmed in your marriage?

Are you constantly wondering if you should stay or leave?

Trust me, I know how you feel—I've been there.

In this episode, I dive deep into the three major red flags that can indicate it's time to reconsider your relationship. If you don't have any of these red flags—which is often the case—I'll also discuss the three key questions you can ask yourself to help decide whether to stay and keep trying or to let go.

If you find yourself in this situation, tune in, and let me help you navigate through these thoughts with care.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Do you ever find yourself overwhelmed by your emotions, unsure of how to regain control? Have you ever wondered what triggers these intense feelings?

For years, I struggled with these questions, feeling lost in my emotional responses without understanding why. That's when I began exploring the dynamics of our nervous system.

Through this journey, I learned how our nervous system influences our emotional reactions and discovered effective ways to manage and regulate them. It was a transformative experience that equipped me with valuable tools to navigate life's challenges with greater ease and understanding.

This week, join me as we explore the profound impact of the nervous system on our emotional well-being. Discover practical strategies to cultivate emotional balance and resilience, empowering you to respond more effectively to triggers.

If you're ready to break free from emotional turmoil and cultivate inner calm, tune in to this episode. Let's embark together on a journey towards greater emotional intelligence and well-being.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Do you ever find yourself overwhelmed by your emotions? Do you struggle to connect with and manage your feelings? How about the intense ones?

Does this often leave you feeling misunderstood and make it challenging to express yourself?

I can relate—I spent most of my life wrestling with self-doubt and uncertainty. However, everything changed when I discovered the keys to mastering emotional intelligence and the power of labeling our emotions to shape our experiences, especially with intense feelings.

In this episode, I'll share practical exercises to release tension and uncover unmet needs, helping you transform your emotional resilience.

Are you ready to explore? Let's dive in!

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Do you find yourself overreacting at the same situations over and over again but don't know why?

I have been there for SO MANY YEARS until I discovered that everything came from my inner child core wounds... all the fear, pain, and sadness that I had stuck within me.

Only then, I could turn into myself and provide my inner child the new and healing experience that she was longing for.

This week, we dive into understanding and healing our inner child to help release these stuck feelings. Discover why certain people poke at your core wounds and learn how to address these triggers effectively.

If this resonates with you, tune in to build a foundation for a stable and peaceful life for you and relationships.

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun (editado)

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Do you find yourself ruminating on certain interactions more than you would like?

I used to struggle with this a LOT, until I figured out what my triggers are, where they came from, and how to solve them more effectively.

In this episode, I explore the concept of triggers and how to turn them into opportunities for personal growth.

By the end of this episode, you will gain insights and practical tools on how to soothe your mind when you are triggered,

And also how to create boundaries or ask for your needs to be met, without ruminating for hours or days.Enjoy, and share with a friend!

FREE tools:

Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Do you find yourself getting triggered easily, but you're not sure why?

Do you struggle to understand and soothe your emotional responses?

Does all of this lead to repetitive arguments in your relationships?

In this episode, we dive deep into the five essential questions that can help you heal your triggers and inner wounds once and for all:

Why: Discover the deep reason why this matters to you.
Who: Understand who the triggering person represents from your past.
When: Identify when you have felt this feeling before.
What: Determine what this trigger is needing from you.
How: Learn how to provide what you needed back then.

These questions will not only guide you to build a strong foundation for healing, but they will also allow you to approach your relationships and life with a new sense of stability and peace.

FREE tools:

Build better relationships in 3 minutes a week. Subscribe to our weekly newsletter --> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter

“Rapid Relationship Repair” mini-course —> https://bit.ly/Minicoursefunnel

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Do arguments in your marriage escalate quickly?

Are you tired of having the same misunderstandings over and over?

The reason you are stuck in this power struggle is because of your conflict styles.

In this episode, we explore the four distinct conflict styles and how understanding them can not just help you you solve disagreements once and for all, but even PREVENT them.

P.S. Want to know more about releasing old resentments and getting your needs met in your marriage? Join me for the Conflict Cure Workshop on June 17th --> HERE.

P.P.S.: If you want me to personally guide you to fully heal your relationship and build a peaceful, playful marriage in 90 days (even if your spouse is not on board, or blames you), book a free Relationship Breakthrough call with my team here

-> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

During the call, we will learn more about your unique needs, create a customized plan for you, and see if we are a good fit to help you get there.

FREE tools:

Build better relationships in 3 minutes a week. Subscribe to our weekly newsletter: https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
“Rapid Relationship Repair” mini-course —> https://bit.ly/Minicoursefunnel

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Why do some people annoy the heck out of us so much so that we ruminate or stay stuck for days, or even weeks?!

Because they inadvertently have poked a CORE WOUND with you.

In this episode, I’m going to share the 2-step process to healing your core wounds once and for all.

P.S: If you want me to personally guide you to fully release your core wounds, so you never feel triggered again, and can get your needs met in a calm, confident, loving way in your relationships, book a free Relationship Breakthrough call with my team here --> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

During the call, we will learn more about what you need, create a customized plan for you, and see if we are a good fit to help you get there.

FREE tools:

Build better relationships in 3 minutes a week. Subscribe to our weekly newsletter: https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
“Rapid Relationship Repair” mini-course —> https://bit.ly/Minicoursefunnel

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If you are an anxious attacher, and tend to complain, get angry, or plead with your partner for more attention, this is for you.

The more we criticize, demand, cry, or nag, the more the other person pulls away…..which only feeds our anxiety.

This cycle is exhausting and never ending.

There is a better way.

In this episode, I share 6 steps you can take TODAY to create genuine presence, time and connection in your relationship,Without yelling, shutting down or walking on eggshells.

FREE tools:

Build better relationships in 3 minutes a week. Subscribe to our weekly newsletter --> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
“Rapid Relationship Repair” mini-course —> https://bit.ly/Minicoursefunnel

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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If you are an anxious attacher, and tend to complain, get angry, or plead with your partner for more attention, this is for you.

The more we criticize, demand, cry, or nag, the more the other person pulls away…..which only feeds our anxiety.

This cycle is exhausting and never ending.

There is a better way.

In this episode, I share 6 steps you can take TODAY to create genuine presence, time and connection in your relationship,Without yelling, shutting down or walking on eggshells.

FREE tools:

Build better relationships in 3 minutes a week. Subscribe to our weekly newsletter --> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
“Rapid Relationship Repair” mini-course —> https://bit.ly/Minicoursefunnel

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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Why do the people we love the most, also frustrate and hurt us the most?

It's because there are three relationship LEVELS, and the deepest level - where our parents, siblings, spouses and kids are - also holds our CORE WOUNDS from the past.

So anything that they do, pokes those wounds, which is why we feel so easily triggered and hurt by their actions.

In this podcast episode, I share what the 3 levels are, and how to find your core wounds, so you can begin the process of fully healing them.

When you have addressed those wounds, they disappear, and things that used to bother you a lot suddenly feel simple and easy to solve.

That is emotional freedom.

Want to find your core wounds? Click here for the free worksheet -> https://bit.ly/DrKavethaSunCoreWondsWorksheet

Ready to start healing and fully release your core wounds? Check out this video on the 4-step process to do just that —> https://youtu.be/BY6ahmVxNd4

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Have you ever experienced anxiety?

You are going about your day, minding your own business, when bam, suddenly something happens and next thing you know, you are feeling anxious, overwhelmed or triggered.

You know what you "should" do, but in the moment, all that seems so far out of reach, and you can't seem to calm yourself down enough to think clearly.

Why is that?!

In this episode, I’m going to show you not only WHY the typical advice doesn't work in the heat of the moment, and also HOW to turn on your body's natural calm switch even in the midst of a trigger, so you can quickly regulate and think clearly in any situation.

FREE tools:

Build better relationships in 3 minutes a week. Subscribe to our weekly newsletter -> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-Newsletter
“Rapid Relationship Repair” mini-course —> https://bit.ly/Minicoursefunnel

Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

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For years, I've lived my life having an insecure attachment style.

Even when I first heard about the topic, I didn't quite connect with it. Looking back, I wish I had paid closer attention to it sooner in my life.

In this episode, join me as we delve into the origins of attachment styles. What are they? How do the different character styles manifest in our interactions? And most importantly, how do they influence our relationships with others?

If you're looking to transition to a secure attachment style, this episode could be the first step in your journey.

It takes work and it's a process but it can be the best thing you will ever do!

P.S: Whenever you are ready, here are 3 ways I can help you:

#1: Ready to master your triggers & communicate your needs so you can feel confident, trusting, and secure in your relationships? Check out our monthly membership community --> SECURE Love Lab™

#2: Have you seen my YouTube Channel? I'm putting a lot of energy into creating valuable content that you won't find anywhere else. Come check out my latest stuff, and give me a like and subscribe.

#3: Want to get my personalized help to feel calm, confident, connected, and courageous and heal your relationships in just 4 months? Book a call here to see if you are a good fit for our Heal Your Relationships program. (fyi, we typically accept ~ 32% of applicants into the program, as we want to make sure it is the exact right next step for you.)

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Securely attached people have 10 universal habits.

Once I figured this out, I wrote them down to carry with me at all times.

Because it helps me figure out exactly what to do when I feel hurt, annoyed, or at odds with someone I care about.

It took me 15 years of trial and error to compile this list. I hope to save you that time.

Don't forget to subscribe!

P.S: If you are are struggling with repetitive arguments, disconnection and/or resentments in your relationships,

And all the information out there - the Gottman books, I-statements etc.- feel like band-aids at best until the next argument happens,

🌈 Secure Love Lab may be for you.

See, when our core wounds get triggered by our loved ones, we react before we can think.

Hence why all the "communication tips" seldom work or produce lasting change.

Inside Secure Love Lab, I teach you the 9 tools that have helped me, and 700+ clients in the past 4 years, heal these wounds and create LASTING love.

The best part? You can do this in as little as 10 minutes a day (!)

Learn more here: https://www.skool.com/securerlovelab/about

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Do you have an anxious attachment style?

Here are 8 oddly specific traits that you might be struggling with, and what you can do right away to begin healing.

P.S: Want to join a community of growth seekers and go from insecure to securely attached, in just 10 mins a day? Check out SECURE Love Lab™ here:

https://www.skool.com/securerlovelab/...

Need more hands-on help? Join our free FB group for monthly live Q&A’s with Dr. Sun —> https://bit.ly/HYRFacebookGroup

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For years, I would get hurt, triggered and worked up easily.

And I tried everything that my therapist suggested.

Counting to 10, using I-statements, deep breaths….nothing worked.

It took a couple years, but I finally figured out why.

It was because I was not engaging my frontal lobe. When my frontal lobe is not online, I can’t stop the triggering thoughts and feelings.

But how do you switch your frontal lobe on?

That’s what I will share with you in this episode.

This can change your life if you use it.

Need more hands-on help? Join our free FB group for monthly live Q&A’s with Dr. Sun —>

https://bit.ly/HYRFacebookGroup

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Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is the power to choose our response..." - Viktor Frankl.

We know that we should pause when we are triggered, so we can choose a different response. A healthier one, that is more aligned with our values.

But it’s so hard to do at the moment, right??

In today’s episode, I will show you HOW to actually pause, even if you’ve tried and failed a million times before.

And in next week’s free challenge, I will share the entire system to find and heal your triggers, so you can stay calm in any storm. Register here —>

https://bit.ly/BetheCalminAnyStormChallenge

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Most couples therapy goes in circles because they jump straight to communication tools.

The problem is, without building a foundation of inner calm and confidence, no amount of communication tools will work in the heat of the moment!

But, how do we build inner calm and confidence??

There are 3 parts to it - Emotion Regulation, Know and Meet Your Needs, Honor Your Boundaries

Emotion regulation includes being able to heal your own triggers and wounds from the past, so they don’t keep holding you hostage in the present.

This is vitally important.

In this episode, and in my upcoming free workshop, I will share 4 simple steps to healing your triggers.

Here is the link to register for our upping workshop (it’s free, and replays will be sent to all those who register)—> https://bit.ly/BetheCalminAnyStormChallenge

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Do you postpone your dreams and aspirations to “someday” in the future?

I've been there.

The bummer was that the future always seemed….well, in the future lol.

Just out of reach.I finally realized that what I had was a wish, not a plan.So I went to work trying to bring my future self into my present.

After many many failures, I stumbled onto a 3 calendar system that has truly changed my life.

We now teach it in great detail inside Mastery (our monthly membership program).

In today’s podcast, I share an overview of this system, so you can run with it and make it your own!

Enjoy!

Need more hands-on help? Join our free FB group for monthly live Q&A’s with Dr. Sun —> https://bit.ly/HYRFacebookGroup

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After working with hundreds of clients, I’ve noticed that there are two types of marital arguments.

The day-to-day kerfuffles; and the big repetitive arguments.

Most therapists approach both as communication problems.

But each type stems from a different core issue, and thus they require very different solutions.

In this episode, I share the two things you can do to shift daily irritability in the home, and the one BIG thing that can solve the repetitive arguments that go nowhere.

Enjoy!

Need more hands-on help? Join our free FB group for monthly live Q&A’s with Dr. Sun —> https://bit.ly/HYRFacebookGroup

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Contempt is a feeling of disgust and moral superiority over someone else.

It usually stems from loneliness, and years of resentments, mixed with feeling helpless to change the dynamic.

In today's episode, I share the 3 steps to shifting contempt to connection.

If you or someone in your life struggles with contempt, please share this episode with them.

It may have a huge ripple effect on their lives.

Need more hands-on help? Join our free FB group for monthly live Q&A’s with Dr. Sun —> https://bit.ly/HYRFacebookGroup

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I am a collector of good ideas.

Over the years, these ideas have helped me hone my intuition, repair relationships, honor my boundaries, and take brave action even when it was a bit terrifying.

I would not have the life I have now without these guiding principles. They are my North Star.

In today’s episode, I share the top 8 ideas (+1) that have changed my life.

Enjoy!

Need more hands-on help? Join our free FB group for monthly live Q&A’s with Dr. Sun —> https://bit.ly/HYRFacebookGroup

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Today, we are speaking with one of my fav people in the world - Dr. Erica Bove! She is a renowned OBGYN doctor, and now also a fertility coach!

She shares a wealth of information for anyone who is themselves or knows someone who is, going through the long winding road of fertility treatments.

In 2019, Erica did our programs as a client, which sparked her interest in coaching. She went on to become a certified coach herself (and worked in our company as head coach for a while!) before making the leap into creating her own unique offering for the world.

Her unique 3 step process to help you navigate the world of infertility, is so comprehensive and thoughtful. I myself went through IVF 6 years ago, and would have given an arm and a leg to have this kind of information and support available to me then.

Enjoy, and please share with someone in your life if you feel called to do so.

Dr. Bove's website: loveandsciencefertility.com

Need more hands-on help? Join our free FB group for monthly live Q&A’s with Dr. Sun —> https://bit.ly/HYRFacebookGroup

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I have been addicted to sugar for about 10 years.

And trust me when I say, I have tried every single freakin’ diet to beat this.It either wouldn’t work at all (for ME), or it would work temporarily but the cravings would get too strong after a while and I’d give up.

But for the first time ever, I have been off sugar for 60+ days, and I more than anyone else am surprised lol.

I think there are 3 reasons why it has stuck this time around.

And I want to share them with you, in case you too are looking to get rid of an unhealthy habit or start a better one.

Hint: It’s nothing to do with discipline, self-care, or motivation.

Tune in to hear the 3 shifts that have helped me beat a decade-long addiction, and how we can all use these 3 lessons to improve ANY area of our lives.

Need more hands-on help? Join our free FB group for monthly live Q&A’s with Dr. Sun —> https://bit.ly/HYRFacebookGroup

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If you want to change something in your life - a habit, a situation, a relationship pattern - but despite all your good intentions, you can’t seem to do what it takes at the moment, this episode is for you.

We all know about our comfort zones and growth zones. But did you know there is another zone that can make or break your plans? Tune in to learn about this THIRD zone, and why it’s the secret to moving toward the life that you want.

Need more hands-on help? Join our free FB group for monthly live Q&A’s with Dr. Sun —> https://bit.ly/HYRFacebookGroup

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This weekend, we had less childcare help than we usually do.

And although I was dreading it, it turned out to be an eye-opening experience.

One that has shaken me awake. I hope that it gives you the loving jolt you need as well.

Enjoy!

Need more hands-on help? Join our free FB group for monthly live Q&A’s with Dr. Sun —>

https://bit.ly/HYRFacebookGroup

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Does therapy work?

Yes and no.

Therapy is a “top-down” approach that can at best give you 30-40% relief. You will keep your head above water. But if you want to feel calm, confident, connected, and courageous - we need a three-pronged approach.

I call this the Tripod Model, and in this episode, I will share with you what goes into each pillar of the tripod, so you can go from simply surviving, to truly thriving.

P.S.: This is the first episode in a series on modern mental health. Please subscribe if you’d like to be notified of future episodes!

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Some of us get so caught up in what could go wrong, that we stay paralyzed. This is the worst decision though, since joy and fulfillment is always on the other side of fear.

In todays episode, I share a little known method for removing the shackles of extreme anxiety.

If you use this technique consistently, you will feel calm, confident and courageous to take the action toward the life you want.

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Many of our clients say they have lost themselves in the race to the top. A decade of busyness later, they look around at all the fancy things they have accumulated, and instead of feeling joy, they feel….numb.

If you are in this boat too, please know you are not alone. It’s a good thing that you are pausing to notice your own boredom and exhaustion - it means you are waking up.

The way back to your true nature - your unique joy, creativity, flow, courage and purpose - is two fold.

In this episode, I share what those two things are, and how to begin the journey back.

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I used to go through life in a trance.

Feeling sad, flat, annoyed, empty, lonely and anxious….all the while running more and more frantically on the proverbial treadmill.

This set up inner conflict, which spilled over into my life in all kinds of awful ways.

In todays episode, I’ll share my process for knowing if YOU are out of alignment with who you truly are, and how to course correct, so you can wake up, and live a full, satisfying and purposeful life.

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Happy New Year!!

On today’s show, I share 5 questions that will help you create the most alive, nourishing, and fulfilling life in 2024. Grab a journal and pen, and let’s go!

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A few months ago, I did an episode called “What’s Your F Type?” that you all LOVED.

We have been getting a lot of questions about those tools, so I’ve decided to do a LIVE training on them inside our free FB group next week (link below to join). Here is an encore, so you can come prepared with your own questions for our live session! Enjoy and see you soon!

How do you react when someone cuts you up in traffic?

It’s annoying, right?!

What about when someone ignores you or roll their eyes at something you said?

How do you respond when somebody hurts your feelings or rejects your ideas?

The way you respond when you get poked or triggered is called your “F” type.

And knowing your “F” type is a kind of awareness that can be life-changing.

In this episode, I’m diving deeper into what triggers are, why they elicit a reaction from you, and the four types of reactions you can have to a trigger so you can learn how to deal with them more effectively.

When you discover which “F” type you fall into most commonly, you can start shifting the way you show up in the world.

As I said, it’s life-changing.

So listen closely, take notes, and bring your questions to our LIVE training inside our free FB group next week!

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The older I get, the more I realize the power of pausing, slowing down and making conscious choices in the moment.

It’s not easy. But if we want something new, we have to do something new, am I right?

Lucky for us, Dr. Jessie Mahoney is an expert in pausing and bringing presence to our homes, workplaces, and day to day lives. And she shares so many pearls of wisdom in this conversation.

As we head into the hustle and bustle of the holidays, this might be a perfect time to begin using these pearls!

I hope you will slow down enough to savor the conversation. (Ha!)

Resources mentioned in this episode:

https://www.jessiemahoneymd.com/

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If you are holding on to something from the past - a memory, an incident, a relationship hurt - it’s likely impacting the way you show up until the present.

Self-forgiveness is not about agreeing with your past decisions.

It’s about processing the wound, so it can heal, instead of stay open and fester.

In this episode, I will share 3 ideas and 3 tools that have most helped me on my own self-forgiveness journey.

P.S: Reminder to register for our free “Relationship Success” seminar coming up soon (limited to 100 spots) —> https://go.healyourrelationships.com/opt-in

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After studying and helping people heal their relationships for over a decade, I’ve noticed THREE things that successful relationships have in common.

No, they are not: compatible values, attraction or even shared goals.

They are: Earned security, Micro-repairs and Inter-dependence.

Tune in to learn what these are, and how to build them into your own life.

Then, register for our FREE “Relationship Success Seminar” here.

—>See you there.

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Anything that’s worth having is going to require persistence and motivation.

But how do we keep up motivation when life gets in the way? It’s so easy to give up, or get distracted, right?

The solution is to find your North Star.

This is your deepest reason for being on the journey.

The thing that lights you up.

The WHY that will keep you going even when you stumble, or feel discouraged.

Tune in today to learn how you can find your North Star.

So you can stay committed to achieving your wildest dreams.

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Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate!

Thanksgiving is about family, good food, and gratitude.

But most people get the gratitude part wrong.

Gratitude is not just about remembering events or people that you are thankful for.

When done right, it can be a powerful way to heal our whole nervous system.

In this episode, I will share the most important part of gratitude, and a simple exercise you can do (and teach your kids!) that turns this cliche into an act of healing, connection, and growth.

Enjoy!

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When someone hurts our feelings, how can we know if our response is justified, or… if we are overreacting?

I used to spend hours ping-ponging between blaming someone else for being selfish/rude Vs. blaming myself.

If you can’t decide whether you are being taken advantage of by someone, or overreacting because of your own triggers….tune in.

This episode will show you how to discern the answer once and for all.

P.S.: Want access to my 5+ hour course to end repetitive conflicts in your marriage? Join our free FB group —> https://bit.ly/HYRFacebookGroup

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Your emotions are not a result of what's happening around you. They are an interpretation of what's happening around you.

Tune in to hear me explain this concept, plus a simple way you can use it to shift your mood anytime.

P.S.: Want to learn more about how you can use this to SOLVE ARGUMENTS??

Come join us for the free training! Register here --> https://bit.ly/ConflictCureChallenge

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Inside our “Heal Your Relationships” program, we promise to help you eliminate at least 2/3 of the recurrent, repetitive arguments in your marriage, in less than 90 days. So, what are those repetitive arguments?

There are 8 of them:

· Sex

· Money

· Parenting

· Chores

· Affection/time spent together

· Extended family

· Past hurts

· Trust

Every marriage has 2 to 3 of these that keep coming up over the years, slowly causing resentment and hopelessness. What most couples’ therapists miss though, is that the details of the argument itself does not matter.

What matters is something much deeper and poignant.

And if you get THIS right, only then will any communication tool work for you. Tune in this week to learn what it is.

P.S: Want to end 50% of your arguments using our 5+ hour mini-course? Get free access inside our FB group: https://bit.ly/HYRFacebookGroup

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A few months ago, I did an episode called “What’s Your F Type?” that you all LOVED.

How do you react when someone cuts you up in traffic?

It’s annoying, right?!

What about when someone ignores you or roll their eyes at something you said?

How do you respond when somebody hurts your feelings or rejects your ideas?

The way you respond when you get poked or triggered is called your “F” type.

And knowing your “F” type is a kind of awareness that can be life-changing.

When you discover which “F” type you fall into most commonly, you can start shifting the way you show up in the world.

As I said, it’s life-changing.

So listen closely, take notes, and bring your questions to our LIVE training inside our free FB group next week!

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Stonewalling can wreak havoc on a relationship. I have been on both ends of this, and know how hopeless it can feel. I want you to know there are simple steps you can take, whether you are the one stonewalling, or on the receiving end, that can begin to shift things.

In today’s episode, I will go over:

What stonewalling is and why it happens.
The two types of stonewalling, and
3 Tips for solving this dynamic, even if you or your partner have been stuck in it for years.

Come and join the conversation on this topic in our free FB Group (in depth trainings and live Q&A’s every Thursday) —> Heal Your Relationships

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Are you a Hailstorm or a Turtle?

Hailstorm = one who brings up complaints; Turtle = the one who shuts down/gets defensive and/or walks on eggshells.

To the turtle, the hailstorm seems like someone who is needy, clingy, demanding, and critical. --> "I can never satisfy her, so why try?"

To the hailstorm, the turtle seems like he/she doesn't care, is defensive, is not a team player, and maybe even selfish. --> "I'm on my own."

When we don't understand what is happening in someone's inner world, we jump to making character judgments of them.

"She is too needy."

"He is selfish."

But that's a misunderstanding at best, and a hurtful belief at worst.

On today's episode, I will be revealing what is actually going on underneath for each of these attachment styles.

Including, their core fears, behaviors, needs, and desires...

--> so YOU can stop going in circles, and start connecting in a deep and fulfilling way with the people in your life.

This will change the way you operate in the world.

Next week, I will be doing a DEEP DIVE into this topic with examples, as well as answering your questions, in our free FB group 'Heal Your Relationships.'

If you are not in the FB group yet, come join the conversation here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/rm4wl

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Raise your hand if you sometimes want your spouse to stop giving you solutions and instead just listen?! 🤚

Ugh, so frustrating, right?

Why does this happen?

Because most of us are not taught about the 3 layers of Emotional Intimacy. We operate only on the INFORMATIONAL level - which is useful, but if that's your only level of relating to others, you end up feeling lonely and insecure.

On this week's podcast, I share the 3 levels of emotional intimacy, and how to get to the deeper levels without compromising who you are. This will change the way you love, work, and parent.

Enjoy!

P.S.: Want to join the conversation in our FREE FB group on how different attachment styles approach the 3 layers of intimacy? Click here to join the Heal Your Relationships FB group!

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Emotional sobriety, a phrase frequently used in AA meetings, holds a special place in my heart.

It's not just a phrase; it's a state of being – a state where clarity reigns, where nothing muddles your thoughts or numbs your senses.

In this state of clarity, you're fully present, unburdened by the weight of your fears or any substances that might dim your light. It's in this space that your relationships can truly flourish.

Whether wrestling with substance abuse or not, having an insecure emotional attachment style can be similar to an addiction. When triggered, your brain goes into a fog, much like when substances take hold.

In those triggered moments, one force in your subconscious steps into the limelight while the other is pushed into the shadows.

To fully express your unique, authentic self, you need both forces in harmony.

And that's precisely what this episode is about – finding that balance so you can journey towards emotional sobriety and enjoy the full potential of your relationships.

What I mention in this episode:

Why I like the phrase emotional sobriety
The two forces present in our subconscious to become a balanced person
The shadow side of the inner child and the inner parent

What you'll learn from it:

Which internal force is more prevalent depending on your attachment style
How to start dealing with these internal forces when triggered
A proposal that can help you start changing your reactions

xo, Kavetha

PS- In our program, Heal Your Relationships, we first go deep into your attachment style to discover what your deep wounds are and how to dissolve them.

You’ll stop walking around like a raw nerve. You’ll stop being triggered.

If this is something you may be interested in, book your free discovery call here: https://healyourrelationships.com/heal-your-relationships/

Got some questions for the Podcast? Submit them here: https://forms.gle/JD3Yr4HZ3XCELDE58

Get access to my mini course 'Rapid Relationship Repair' just by leaving a review of my show: https://forms.gle/jGu8qmALSgRarPd8A

In This Episode:

00:00Welcome back to another episode of Heal Your Relationships

00:52Why I like the phrase emotional sobriety

02:32The two forces present in our subconscious

06:23How to discover your attachment style

07:16Behaviors of anxiously preoccupied people

10:07Behaviors of avoidant people

11:41Behaviors of dismissal avoidant people

12:39Reactions that emerge when we are triggered

16:26The first step to deal with your insecure style of attachment

19:07 What we do in the program Heal Your Relationships

Resources mentioned:

Attachment FREE quiz - https://www.attachedthebook.com/wordpress/compatibility-quiz/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/relationshipcoachmd/

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Understanding your attachment style is like turning on the light in a dark room. It gives you the kind of clarity that also brings relief because you grasp your behaviors and your partner's behaviors more deeply.

Going through life in the dark about your attachment style is like taking a road trip with no GPS, no roadmap, and no clue about your destination.

Trust me, I've spent three decades on that chaotic journey, replaying the same old mistakes repeatedly.

Attachment styles can broadly be categorized into two buckets: secure and insecure.

Now, if you fall into the secure attachment group, it's like winning the emotional mastery lottery.

But here's the twist - even if you find yourself in the insecure attachment camp, there's no need to fret.

What I mention in this episode:

Analyzing your attachment style to heal your relationships
Behaviors determined by your attachment style
How I switch from being fearful avoidant to having a secure attachment

What you'll learn from it:

How to discover your type of attachment
The characteristics of secure attachment
The four components to move toward secure attachment
Top fears for every insecure attachment style

With love, Kavetha

PS- If you take the quiz and discover that you have an insecure attachment style, the good news is that you don’t have to stay there forever.

You can change (I have changed myself!), and my program is a good stepping stone.

Book your free discovery call here: https://healyourrelationships.com/heal-your-relationships/

Got some questions for the Podcast? Submit them here: https://forms.gle/JD3Yr4HZ3XCELDE58

Get access to my mini course 'Rapid Relationship Repair' just by leaving a review of my show: https://forms.gle/jGu8qmALSgRarPd8A

In This Episode:

00:00Welcome back to another episode of Heal Your Relationships

01:11The importance of analyzing your attachment style

02:13Behaviors determined by your attachment style

03:11How to discover your type of attachment

04:41Characteristics of secure attachment

06:23Characteristics of insecure attachment

07:41The four components to move toward secure attachment

10:50 Top fears of anxious preoccupied attachment

14:52Top fears of dismissive avoidant attachment

19:29Top fears of fearful avoidant attachment

23:37The backbone of Heal Your Relationships 10-week program

25:14Rate and review the podcast

Resources mentioned:

Podcast episode about secure attachment in marriage - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/20-secure-attachment-in-marriage/id1622617195?i=1000571562466
Attachment FREE quiz - https://www.attachedthebook.com/wordpress/compatibility-quiz/

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I've been down that road before, dragging my ex-partners into couples therapy, hoping it would work like a magic fix.

But honestly, it often felt like taking two steps forward and then three steps back. It was like slapping a band-aid on a deep wound.

Sure, the couples therapy sessions were helpful while we were in them. We'd talk, share, and sometimes even find moments of clarity.

Then, we'd return home, and like clockwork, we'd slip back into the same old cycles. The same arguments, just now, with an extra layer of resentment about therapy being yet another chore.

It's a paradox, isn't it? The number of couples therapists in the US keeps climbing, yet the divorce rate remains stubbornly high. Something just doesn't add up.

That's why we've crafted something different, something that breaks free from the traditional mold of couples therapy. It's a program that's not only unique but significantly more effective.

In this episode, I'm pulling back the curtain to reveal why and how this unconventional approach is changing the game when it comes to healing relationships.

What I mention in this episode:

Why has the name of the podcast changed?
My personal experience with couples therapy
Characteristics of our unique approach to healing relationships

What you'll learn from it:

The problem with traditional couples therapy
The reason why communication is not the problem in your relationship
The actual issues you may experience in your social connections
The difference between avoidant people and anxiously attached people

xo, Kavetha

PS- We can help you heal your relationships from the inside out, only working with you and not your partner. We do that in 10 weeks, and our success rate is 90 %.

Thanks to our program, you will change. And by changing, the dance and the dynamic in your relationship will also change.

Let’s start today: https://healyourrelationships.com/heal-your-relationships/

In This Episode:

00:00Welcome back to another episode of Heal Your Relationships

01:08Why has the name of the podcast changed?

02:57How we heal your relationships in 10 weeks

05:08The problem with traditional couples therapy

07:20Issues you may experience in your relationship

09:33The potential in relationship problems

11:21The specific things we teach you in our program

13:54Summary of the episode

Resources mentioned:

Heal Your Relationships - https://healyourrelationships.com/heal-your-relationships/
Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course! - https://healyourrelationships.com/rapid-relationship-repair/

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Unconditional love is only possible if you give your loved one unconditional freedom to be exactly who they are.

If you constantly judge yourself, criticize how you act, and only see your limitations, then you're shooting yourself.

And how you treat yourself often spills over into your interactions with the world. You may judge how others should act, what's right or wrong, and what they should or shouldn't be doing.

Judgment is a futile exercise. It's a quiet form of violence, a way we harm ourselves and others.

But here's the truth: people will always march to their own beat, with or without our permission.

Embracing this reality and gifting others the boundless freedom to be exactly who they are is the alchemy of unconditional love.

No doubt, it's easier said than done. But here's the beauty of it – we're in this together.

As we navigate the journey of releasing judgments and embracing the liberating power of unconditional love, the world transforms, one loving step at a time.

What I mention in this episode:

The importance of unconditional freedom
People will react how they want to react (and not how you expect them to react)
An experience with my spouse that made me realize the power of unconditional freedom

What you'll learn from it:

How unconditional love can show up in your life
What you need to identify to develop unconditional freedom for your loved ones
The reason why judgment and unconditional love can’t exist together
Questions you can ask yourself to reflect on this topic

Remember, it's all about letting go of judgment and giving each other the freedom to be ourselves.

Wishing you all the unconditional love and freedom, Kavetha

PS- If you want to learn how to heal your relationships from the inside out, even if your spouse is not on board, I have something for you.

HYR is a program specifically designed for women. It includes evidence-based tools, training, and a community to learn how to choose your thoughts.

In this 8-week program, you will get the HYR™ Framework and Tools and weekly calls with certified coaches privately and in a group environment with other women.

Book your free call here: https://healyourrelationships.com/heal-your-relationships/

In This Episode:

00:00Welcome back to another episode of Emotional Mastery

01:06 Fall is coming to Connecticut

02:37 The role of unconditional freedom

05:36 Humans react how they want to react

07:21 How can unconditional love show up in your life?

10:18 Questions for you to reflect upon

12:30 How to heal your relationships

Resources mentioned:

Previous episode - https://podcasts.apple.com/il/podcast/3-sneaky-beliefs-that-hurt-relationships/id1622617195?i=1000626295173
Heal Your Relationships -

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Certain beliefs in relationships are like undercover agents, quietly wreaking havoc beneath the surface. They slip in, often unnoticed, yet their impact can be profound.

Have you ever noticed how convincing yourself about what your partner is thinking can be astonishingly deceptive? It's one of those sneaky things we do.

The romanticization of relationships we're bombarded with through the media has convinced

ourselves that mind-reading is not only desirable but possible.

But mind-reading isn't an option. It's more like a setup for disappointment and resentment. The mental gymnastics we perform to decipher the other person's thoughts is where the trouble brews.

It's not just about us, though. The narratives we weave around ourselves and our partners are equally potent. These thoughts can be a powerful catalyst for growth or a silent cause of suffering.

So today, I'm shining a spotlight on three sneaky beliefs that quietly corrode relationships. And we're not stopping at just identifying them. We're exploring how to defy their corrosive impact.

What I mention in this episode:

Why do relationships take place in our heads
Why it’s impossible to read the other person’s mind
Why do you create a bar of expectations that may hurt you

What you'll learn from it:

It’s normal to have mixed and complicated feelings about the people you love
How to choose thoughts that create less suffering for you
How to respond to a situation depending on the stories you made in your head
Exercises to start grasping these concepts

Ready to expose these beliefs? Join me as we unravel their grip and arm ourselves with tools to nurture healthier, happier relationships.

With love, Kavetha

PS- Changing sneaky thought patterns is possible. If you need help figuring out where to start, I can help you.

HYR is a program specifically designed for women. It includes evidence-based tools, training, and a community to learn how to choose your thoughts.

In this 8-week program, you will get the HYR™ Framework and Tools and weekly calls with certified coaches privately and in a group environment with other women.

Book your free call here: https://healyourrelationships.com/heal-your-relationships/

In This Episode:

00:00Welcome back to another episode of Emotional Mastery

01:14 It’s a time of transition

02:13 Questions I have been getting about sneaky beliefs

03:18 Sneaky belief #1

05:59 You have complicated feelings about the people in your life

10:45 Sneaky belief #2

12:27 Create the experiences you want in your head

14:58 Sneaky belief #3

18:40 Exercises for practicing these concepts

19:07 Summary of the episode

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For the longest time, I held onto the notion that genuine connections required a substantial amount of time.

I convinced myself we needed to sit down for hours, sipping on a cup of coffee and simply being present for each other.

And since I didn't have that time available, I inadvertently placed it on the back burner.

Back then, I crafted many excuses. "Once X, Y, and Z fall into place, I'll prioritize my romantic relationship."

This mantra echoed endlessly, a clever trick to delay something crucial. The irony is that we often postpone the vital in the name of the urgent.

But connection can't wait for your life to settle down. Because it will never settle down. That's not the nature of life.

There is good news, though. Today, I'm strategies to help you fortify a sense of friendship in your romantic relationship.

These strategies are designed to mend and fortify bonds, irrespective of how crammed your schedule may be.

What I mention in this episode:

Why do we postpone essential things because of urgent things?
The three things you need to create friendships
Parenting thoughts about what could be considered harmful for children

What you'll learn from it:

The concept of “charging” your relationships
Getting to know the other person over and over again
Showing that you like the other person
The role of trust in a relationship and how to exercise it

These strategies defy life's chaos and foster authentic bonds, even amidst the busiest lives. You got this. I believe in you.

With all my trust, Kavetha

PS- Cultivating relationships can only happen in the midst of chaos. There is no other way because your life or the world won’t slow down, so you can care for your loved ones.

This is why I created HYR.

HYR is a program specifically designed for women. It includes evidence-based tools, training, and a community for learning how to create strong bonds.

In this 8-week program, you will get the HYR™ Framework and Tools and weekly calls with certified coaches privately and in a group environment with other women.

Let’s connect: https://healyourrelationships.com/heal-your-relationships/

In This Episode:

00:00Welcome back to another episode of Emotional Mastery

01:06 Today’s topic is fun

03:36 Life will always be chaotic

06:37 How can you “charge” your relationships?

09:22 What are the things you need to create friendships?

13:44 The three elements required to develop friendships

15:02 Getting to know the other person

20:09 An exercise to get to know your partner again

29:46 Showing that you like the other person

34:58 An activity to show your partner that you like them

38:27 The role of trust in a relationship

42:50 An exercise to analyze trust

44:53 Answers to the audience

48:46 What is one area where you can let the other person show competence?

56:23 Summary of the episode

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Growing up, I got a firsthand taste of the two contrasting flavors of boundaries.

On one side, there were those who let boundaries be loosey-goosey, while on the flip side, I encountered folks who constructed walls so formidable it felt like you needed a passcode to get through.

As we journey into emotional adulthood, a pivotal step is realizing when it's time to embrace the art of healthy boundaries.

Get this right, and those relationships that once hung by a thread can bloom into something spectacular.

But hey, shifting gears towards boundary-setting can feel like jumping into the deep end without knowing how to swim. I get it.

That's why I'm here to unveil that elusive middle step you need to consider on your boundary-establishing mission.

It's not just about slapping labels on your limits and throwing them into conversations like confetti. There's an intermediate phase, a point where you embrace these limits in your core.

What's more, I’ll guide you through the four pesky boundary myths that you absolutely need to debunk. Think of it as untangling the web of misconceptions, paving the way to healthier, more fulfilling connections.

What I mention in this episode:

The reason why many parents have very strict boundaries
The middle step when setting up a boundary
The “head, shoulders, knees, and toes” rule

What you'll learn from it:

The four myths that prevent you from setting up boundaries
How to establish boundaries at the right time
How to discover if YOU are a boundary violator
How to be in charge of respecting your own boundaries

I hope this episode helps you identify if you’re indulging in one of these myths and how to apply the antidotes to each of them.

Until next time, Kavetha

PS- Boundaries are not needs. If you still conflate both, I have a program that specifically teaches you how to identify boundaries and needs.

HYR is a program specifically designed for women. It includes evidence-based tools, training, and a community for emotional mastery.

In this 8-week program, you will get the HYR™ Framework and Tools and weekly calls with certified coaches privately and in a group environment with other women.

Book a discovery meeting: https://healyourrelationships.com/heal-your-relationships/

In This Episode:

00:00Welcome back to another episode of Emotional Mastery

01:06 I have struggled a lot with boundaries

01:55 My experiences with boundaries growing up

03:19 What happens when you have “goosey-loosey” boundaries?

03:55 What happens when you have rigid boundaries?

05:00 How to act when realizing you need help with boundaries

07:13 The four boundary myths

08:12 Myth number one

12:51 Myth number two

18:46 Myth number three

20:11 Difference between boundaries and needs

22:47 More about myth number three

26:23 Myth number four

29:15 Examples of boundaries with family

35:31 Summary of the episode

37:13 An exercise for you

40:15 Antidotes to each myth

Resources mentioned:

Join the free live challenge on boundaries -

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How do I get my needs met in a relationship?

This is a question that I hear time and time again from my clients. Sometimes they don't even know what their partners need, and they also need to learn how to get their own needs met.

One of the things I have figured out is that we often conflate and confuse boundaries with needs. And when we misdiagnose, the solutions we implement don't work, and we end up feeling more frustrated and hopeless.

Some people may be good with boundaries but become too rigid and strict. Others don't know how to establish boundaries at all.

So, first of all, you need to identify if your struggles require a boundaries-based conversation or a needs-based conversation.

This episode is Day 1 of our free challenge on boundaries. I hope you join us to learn to set and hold boundaries lovingly and calmly to change your relationships forever.

What I mention in this episode:

My own experiences with boundaries in India and the United States
My definition of boundaries
The two big boundary mistakes

What you'll learn from it:

How do we start learning to set boundaries growing up
How to establish firm (but flexible) boundaries
How to prevent the problems associated with "loosey-goosey" boundaries
How to get clear on your primary language of boundaries

You are here for a reason. Pay attention to that soft whisper that tells you that you must learn about boundaries right now.

You'll never regret doing the work.

With love, Kavetha

PS- If you need help establishing boundaries, Heal Your Relationships is for you.

HYR is a program specifically designed for women. It includes evidence-based tools, training, and a community to learn, among other things, how to set and hold firm and flexible boundaries.

In this 8-week program, you will get the HYR™ Framework and Tools and weekly calls with certified coaches privately and in a group environment with other women.

Let's start now: https://healyourrelationships.com/heal-your-relationships/

In This Episode:

00:00Welcome back to another episode of Emotional Mastery

01:01 I have a treat for you today

01:57 Confusion between boundaries and needs

03:48 How do we help clients in the coaching space

04:26 Free live challenge on boundaries

05:21 How is the challenge organized

09:36 How confident are you in your capacity to set and hold boundaries?

12:10 Absorbing the language of boundaries

15:41 My definition of boundaries

17:50 Establishing firm but flexible boundaries

19:30 The two big boundary mistakes

23:01 How to get clear on your primary language of boundaries

26:21 You’re here for a reason

Resources mentioned:

Join the free live challenge on boundaries - https://bit.ly/BoundariesChallenge

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I used to think about self-compassion in a "one and done" approach. But I was so wrong.

Only in recent years, I have discovered that there are many steps and nuances inside self-compassion.

As you practice it, you realize the parts where you need extra support, talk to someone or join a community of people who can help you.

So I'm glad we spend so much time discussing this important topic on the podcast.

Today, in Part 2 about mindful self-compassion, Dr. Erica Bove and I share all the practices that have helped us to map self-compassion.

What has helped me comes from my own struggles, my history, and those areas where it is difficult to step over my critical voice. And that's different for Erica, so we offer an array of perspectives and tools.

We also discuss our growth edges because we're still learning, falling, and course-correcting.

What we mention in this episode:

The definition of gratitude buddies
The importance of community and being there for other people
The characteristics of mirror work and how it creates a relationship with yourself

What you'll learn from it:

How to start listening to your body to give it what it needs
How to slow down enough to notice what you need
How to become more aware of how you feel and what you think when you are off-kilter
How to implement the "name it, normalize it, humanize it" technique

We hope these strategies will help you develop more self-compassion, and we would love to know if there are other resources you have implemented that have been beneficial to you.

Until next time, Kavetha

PS- Do you need help becoming your primary caregiver? We have something to assist you with this process.

Heal Your Relationships is a program specifically designed for women. It includes evidence-based tools, training, and a community to learn, among other things, how to develop actual practices of self-care.

In this 8-week program, you will get the HYR™ Framework and Tools and weekly calls with certified coaches privately and in a group environment with other women.

Book a call here so we can start now: https://healyourrelationships.com/heal-your-relationships/

In This Episode:

00:00Welcome back to another episode of Emotional Mastery

01:14 This is the second part of our talk about self-compassion

02:22 Today we share practices that have helped us

03:15 Quick review of Part 1

05:00 Listening to your body

07:58 How to slow down enough to notice what you need

11:20 Awareness about your beliefs and feelings

14:35 Becoming your primary caregiver

15:29 Name it, normalize it, humanize it

18:46 Gratitude buddies

21:06 The role of community

23:27 What to do instead of fixing someone else’s feelings

25:35 Mirror work

30:46 Our own growth edges

37:53 How to react when you are harming yourself

38:50 Positive intent

39:43 How being in a community has helped us

41:12 Join our boundary challenge!

Resources mentioned:

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Mindful self-compassion is the container of all the emotional work that we do. It contains multitudes and holds sacred space within you to heal yourself and your relationships.

But sometimes, it doesn't come easy to us. It may be easy to be compassionate, in the general sense, with the world, the Earth, and the people in your life.

However, it may be challenging to be self-compassionate and release our inner critic's domineering power.

Learning to be more self-compassionate is a process. We have to learn how to be good friends for ourselves and not just for others. We're not born knowing how to do it. Still, there are some strategies we can implement to start developing mindful self-compassion.

Dr. Erica Bove joins me today as we talk about this necessary topic. I have benefited a lot from her unique perspective, and our clients have benefited as well. I consider her a personal friend and a mentor.

We do an in-depth analysis of self-compassion, how to identify it, and how it gets worse before it gets better once you embark on this journey of awareness.

What we mention in this episode:

The definition of mindful self-compassion
The fact that you won’t lose your drive once you become more self-compassionate
The three pillars of self-compassion, according to Dr. Kristin Neff

What you'll learn from it:

How to start developing mindful self-compassion
How to identify what’s not compassionate
How to find creative solutions for your problems
How our program can help you with self-compassion

Self-compassion is not going to reduce your success. Quite the opposite. It will take you off in ways you didn’t even think were possible.

You just have to take the first step.

With love, Kavetha

PS- Did you enjoy listening to Dr. Erica Bove? That’s good because you can acquire more of her wisdom at the program Heal Your Relationships.

Heal Your Relationships is specifically designed for women. It includes evidence-based tools, training, and a community to learn, among other things, how to develop mindful self-compassion.

In this 8-week program, you will get the HYR™ Framework and Tools and weekly calls with certified coaches privately and in a group environment with other women.

Ready? Book a call here so we can start now: https://healyourrelationships.com/heal-your-relationships/

In This Episode:

00:00Welcome back to another episode of Emotional Mastery

00:47 I hope you’re doing well, pod squad!

01:55 Today we’re talking about mindful self-compassion

02:56 The work of Dr. Kristin Neff

03:49 What is mindful self-compassion?

05:12 Black and white perspectives about friendships

07:32 You’re your own primary caregiver

08:22 Struggling with mindful self-compassion

11:03 A simple technique to start connecting with yourself

12:15 What self-compassion is not

13:42 Self-criticism is not drive

18:55 Relaxation brings creative solutions

20:55 The first pillar of self-compassion

21:39 The second pillar of self-compassion

23:12 The third pillar of self-compassion

25:26 Problems caused by blaming others

27:14 Benefits associated with mindful...

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Self-trust is a topic that I have been grappling with in my own life. Then, I started noticing it everywhere, and many clients have asked me about it.

How do I trust myself? How do I trust other people? How do I let go of resentment?

So today, I want to offer a framework so we can discuss this topic.

Self-trust is one of three different layers of trust. The other two are trust in other people and trust in the world (or the universe.)

During our lifetime, we relate with our inner feelings, other human beings, and our surroundings through the mechanism of trust.

And in this episode, I'm gonna touch specifically on self-trust. This is the foundation upon which you can start trusting other people and the world.

What I mention in this episode:

The three layers of trust
The four components of self-trust
Why the worst thing that could happen is a feeling

What you'll learn from it:

How to start trusting yourself more
How to relate to your self-critical voice differently
How to handle your emotions without being swallowed by them
How to live from your values (and not out of fear or obligation)

If all this information is completely new to you, it doesn’t matter. You can begin today. You can course-correct right now.

Join the game. All you need to do is to begin.

Talk to you next week, Kavetha

PS- Are you finding it hard to trust other people in your relationships? Do you feel it’s difficult to amend a connection after experiencing a breach of trust?

I have a program that will help you manage your emotions so you can create solid rock bonds with your loved ones.

Heal Your Relationships is a program specifically designed for women. It includes evidence-based tools, training, and a community to learn, among other things, how to nurture your ability to trust.

In this 8-week program, you will get the HYR™ Framework and Tools and weekly calls with certified coaches privately and in a group environment with other women.

Book a call here so we can start right now: https://healyourrelationships.com/heal-your-relationships/

In This Episode:

00:00Welcome back to another episode of Emotional Mastery

01:15 My favorite day of the week is when I hang up with you

01:52 You cannot control the weather

03:25 I have been grappling with this topic myself

04:37 Join our live free challenge on boundaries

05:32 Three different layers of trust

06:16 The first component of self-trust

08:40 The second component of self-trust

12:12 The third component of self-trust

15:49 The fourth component of self-trust

18:59 Summary of the four components

20:41 This is something that you can develop

Resources mentioned:

Join the free live challenge on boundaries - https://bit.ly/BoundariesChallenge

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You're juggling multiple priorities, deadlines are looming, and your emotions are running wild. It's easy to feel stuck in a whirlwind of chaos. You are overwhelmed.

But is this emotional or practical overwhelm?

They are different, and the tactics to deal with them are also different.

Emotional overwhelm occurs when you feel overloaded or unable to cope with the intensity of your feelings. Common signs of emotional overwhelm include feeling anxious, stressed, frustrated.

Sometimes, emotional overwhelm emerges when you're avoiding something big in your life. It could be a difficult conversation. It could be a crucial change. But it cannot be fixed with just a bubble bath.

Practical overwhelm, on the other hand, signals a gap between your tasks and your resources. You have too much to handle or manage within the available time or resources.

Understanding the distinction between emotional and practical overwhelm can help identify the root causes and find appropriate solutions. And this is what I'll do in our time together.

What I mention in this episode:

Difference between emotional and practical overwhelm
Ways of analyzing emotional overwhelm
Why practical overwhelm is easier to identify (but this is why sometimes we don’t do anything to deal with it)

What you'll learn from it:

How to identify the type of overwhelm you’re experiencing
How to discover what you’re avoiding in your life if you deal with emotional overwhelm
Actions you can take to reduce practical overwhelm
Importance of establishing minimal acceptable standards

I hope you can extract a golden nugget from this episode to handle overwhelm with compassion and love.

xo, Kavetha

PS- It’s one thing to know what brings you joy and how to access those moments, and it’s another thing to be present while you’re actually engaging in those situations.

Do you want to be present and have more tools to deal with overwhelm? I have a program that will help you do exactly that.

Heal Your Relationships is a program specifically designed for women. It includes evidence-based tools, training, and a community to learn, among other things, how to deal with overwhelm.

In this 8-week program, you will get the HYR™ Framework and Tools and weekly calls with certified coaches privately and in a group environment with other women.

Book a call here so we can start right now: https://healyourrelationships.com/heal-your-relationships/

In This Episode:

00:00Welcome back to another episode of Emotional Mastery

02:47 Let’s talk about overwhelm

03:34 Definition of emotional overwhelm

04:11 Characteristics of practical overwhelm

04:30 Example of practical or situational overwhelm

07:48 Example of emotional overwhelm

08:03 First way to identify the type of overwhelm you’re experiencing

08:53 Second way to identify the type of overwhelm you’re experiencing

10:55 Third way to identify the type of overwhelm you’re experiencing

12:33 What happens when I’m emotionally overwhelmed?

14:10 Ways of analyzing emotional overwhelm

15:14 Why practical overwhelm is easier to identify

16:56 How to handle practical overwhelm

18:38 Any practical thing requires planning and then execution

19:59 What...

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Arguments and misunderstandings in relationships are inevitable. Their occurrence doesn't mean that the relationship is wrong or doomed or tainted or that you made a mistake by choosing this person, be it a romantic partner, friend, or colleague.

They are inevitable. Even if the relationship was blessed by the heavens and meant to be. So let's get this out of the way.

You need to stop being surprised every time you disagree with someone.

Whether you argue a lot (but badly, which hurts the relationship) or have given up and just stopped talking (which causes disconnection, distance and makes the relationship feel shallow), you must learn how to argue better.

Learning how to argue is vital to sustaining a long-term relationship that feels alive and meaningful.

So how do we deal with this? How do we maintain long-term relationships that are healthy and trusting for both people involved?

At the end of the day, conflicts and disagreements are tools. Today I will teach you how to use them for the betterment of a relationship.

What I mention in this episode:

The origin of most repetitive arguments
Why you need to learn how to argue better
Why arguing could be actually good for your relationships

What you'll learn from it:

Why arguments and misunderstandings are inevitable
Information you need to know when entering an argument
How to ask and not assume what the other person is feeling
How to take ownership of your feelings without being scared by them

I hope this was helpful. Remember to choose to move toward conflict to understand your loved ones. Don’t run away and be satisfied in living with the stories you build in your head.

With love, Kavetha

PS- Are you constantly arguing with your significant other? Or even worse, have you stopped communicating with them altogether?

Don't worry. I have created a program to help you argue better in order to create a more profound connection.

Heal Your Relationships is a program specifically designed for women. It includes evidence-based tools, training, and a community to learn, among other things, how to name your feelings and not judge them.

In this 8-week program, you will get the HYR™ Framework and Tools and weekly calls with certified coaches privately and in a group environment with other women.

Book a call here so we can start right away: https://healyourrelationships.com/heal-your-relationships/

In This Episode:

00:00 Welcome back to another episode of Emotional Mastery

01:03 I’m so honored that you’re here right now

02:22 How I help people shift their relationships

03:40 People ask about how to argue

04:43 Common arguments people ask about

05:41 Where do most repetitive arguments come from?

08:19 Every long-term relationship will have its arguments

09:25 Why are arguments and misunderstandings inevitable?

11:44 Arguments can be good for relationships

14:22 Think about arguments as doors

16:05 Taking ownership of your feelings

23:43 Things you need to know when entering an argument

26:02 Checking your interpretations of the moments of disconnection

27:47 Summary of the episode

30:31 Final thoughts

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During the summer, parenting can become even more challenging.

We, as adults, can't take the whole summer off. We still need to work and pay our bills. In addition, now we have to entertain our kids while they are not attending school.

Since buttons get pushed, and we may feel overwhelmed, we sign them up for this, that, and the other thing.

While some activities are wonderful, others are exhausting because they add commuting and stress to our already crammed to-do list.

So how do we identify what is helping our kids and what is preventing them from developing emotional resilience? How do we manage our own emotions and self-care so we don't get overwhelmed? How do we spend valuable time with them without telling them exactly what to do at all times?

Today I want to share three parenting myths that cause harm, especially in nuclear families when parents are the only family members raising their children.

I want you to challenge these myths this summer while you hang out with your kids, nieces, nephews, or your friends' children. Then let me know how it worked for you.

What I mention in this episode:

Why parenting during the summer break is challenging
Some parenting myths that cause havoc in nuclear families
Research about children developing emotional resilience

What you'll learn from it:

How to allow your children to deal with disappointment
How to reframe boredom and stop entertaining your children all the time
How to include your children in useful adult activities
How to be open to sacrificing some efficiency for the sake of cultivating other values

Thank you so much for being here with me. I hope this helps you and makes you feel more relaxed.

Happy summer, Kavetha

PS- As a mom, I want to create a beautiful legacy I'm proud to pass on to my child.

And I know that you want to do it for your kids too. But maybe you don't know how to become your own source of inner peace, an inner peace that will allow you to create meaningful relationships with your children and other people.

Don't worry. I have created a program to help you form secure, connected, fulfilling connections.

Heal Your Relationships is a program specifically designed for women. It includes evidence-based tools, training, and a community to learn how to sustain solid relationships.

In this 8-week program, you will get the HYR™ Framework and Tools, and weekly calls with certified coaches privately and in a group environment with other women.

Are you ready to create an emotional ripple effect that lasts generations?

I’m so happy to help you do exacly that. Book a call here so we can start right away: https://healyourrelationships.com/heal-your-relationships/

In This Episode:

00:00Welcome back to another episode of Emotional Mastery

01:18 I’m here to walk you home as best as I can

02:24 Parenting during the summer break is challenging

04:23 Introducing the three parenting myths

06:32 The first myth

15:54 The second myth

21:30 The third myth

26:52 Summary of the three parenting myths

Resources mentioned:

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Knowing and protecting your loved ones' raw spots is valuable.

And what do I mean by that?

When you identify something that stresses your loved ones out or makes them uncomfortable, you will know how to show up to help them.

Maybe your spouse's raw spot is that they are slow to wake up in the morning. They don't think very clearly in the morning and like to take their time before discussing bills or holidays.

If you know that to be true, you can show up in specific ways to protect them and give them space.

And if you speak about your raw spots with them, they will also show up for you.

Today, I offer you my thoughts about this fascinating topic and some strategies to make this life journey less lonely.

What I mention in this episode:

Recent changes in my personal life
How did I help my wife with her raw spot in our moving
My own raw spots

What you'll learn from it:

Why a season in your life can be chaotic and lovely at the same time
How to identify the patterns of your loved ones
How to bring up a conversation to start protecting your own and the other person's raw spots
Why knowing each other's raw spots enriches relationships

I would love to hear from you. Let me know your raw spots, your loved ones' raw spots, and your thoughts about this.

See you next Thursday, Kavetha

PS- You don't know how to protect your loved ones' raw spots or how to express your own raw spots to them?

Don't worry. I have created a program that will help you do exactly that.

Heal Your Relationships is a program specifically designed for women. It includes evidence-based tools, training, and a community to learn how to sustain solid relationships.

In this 8-week program, you will get the HYR™ Framework and Tools and weekly calls with certified coaches privately and in a group environment.

And you won't be by yourself on this path. Many other women will hold you as you all heal together.

Learn more here: https://healyourrelationships.com/heal-your-relationships/

In This Episode:

00:00Welcome back to another episode of Emotional Mastery

00:52 I had a very busy week!

02:58 A season in your life can be lovely and chaotic at the same time

04:23 There’s value in knowing and protecting your loved ones' raw spots

08:28 Examples of people’s raw spots

10:41 My own raw spots

13:44 Learning about other people’s patterns

16:59 Why knowing each other’s raw spots enriches relationships

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Setting boundaries is one of my favorite topics because it took me forever to figure out how to do it right.

So I enjoy sharing with you the perspectives that have worked for me.

There're some questions that come over and over whenever I'm working with new clients.

How do I deal with someone who doesn't honor my boundaries? How do I set up boundaries in the first place since I'm a people pleaser? How do I do it if no one taught me about this?

Today, I will offer a framework to help you address these questions.

What I mention in this episode:

Your boundaries are yours to uphold
My experience when I started learning about boundaries
The importance of setting up boundaries ahead of time

What you'll learn from it:

The definition of boundaries
What to do when someone crosses your boundaries
Why the "firmly but gently" approach works
What is the appropriate energy to set boundaries

I am so glad and honored to connect with you. Thank you for tuning in.

Until next time, Kavetha

PS- Boundaries are crucial in relationships. They are established for you and the other person, not against them.

So if you want to learn how to uphold boundaries gently, firmly, and healthily, I have a program to help you.

Heal Your Relationships is a program created for women. It provides evidence-based tools, training, and a community to learn how to build rock-solid connections.

In this 8-week program, you will get the HYR™ Framework and Tools and weekly calls with certified coaches both privately and in a group environment.

Most importantly, you won't be by yourself on this journey. Many other women will walk side by side with you.

Learn more by booking a breakthrough call with me: https://healyourrelationships.com/heal-your-relationships/

In This Episode:

00:00Welcome back to another episode of Emotional Mastery

01:00 Thank you for tuning in

01:39 Why boundaries is one of my favorite topics?

02:17 Questions that come over and over when working with new clients

03:09 What are boundaries?

05:33 Examples of boundaries

07:22 First rule for setting boundaries

10:50 Second rule for setting boundaries

13:26 Third rule for setting boundaries

15:23 Summary of the framework

16:14 An exercise for you

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Sexual health is still taboo in many circles. Even for physicians.

Many of us didn’t get enough sexual education when we were studying. Surprisingly, this also applies to OBGYNs.

This is the reason why today’s guest, Dr Sadaf Lodhi, decided to become a sexual coach. She noticed a massive gap in her knowledge and took the matter into her own hands.

Dr Sadaf Lodhi is a board-certified OBGYN and executive coach for women based in New York. She graduated from the University of Michigan with honors, receiving a Bachelor of Science in Biochemistry.

Afterwards, she acquired her Doctorate in Osteopathic Medicine at Michigan State University. Then she completed her residency in gynecology and obstetrics in Michigan.

She earned her life and executive coach certification from Rutgers University and is now a sex counselor and educator.

As a practicing OBGYN in New York for over 20 years, her mission has always been to empower and educate women. Most recently, she opened up a telehealth practice serving patients in New York and Michigan for sexual and menopausal health.

Dr Sadaf Lodhi helps women with sexual confidence through coaching so that they can find pleasure in their relationships. She believes that all women, regardless of their backgrounds, have the potential to live life to its fullest.

What we discuss in this episode:

The reason why did Dr Sadaf Lodhi become a sex coach
The explanation of the sexual response cycle
The definition of “good enough sex”

What you’ll learn from it:

How to develop a more sex-positive mindset
How to bridge the gap between sexual and emotional intimacy
How to spice things up in a relationship that feels stale
How to activate your sexual desire when your plate is full of obligations

I learn so much from this conversation. I hope you enjoy it and learn as much as I did.

Thinking of you, Kavetha

PS- Everybody deserves to feel loved. You too.

So if you want to become a vessel for love and nourish fulfilling relationships, I have something for you.

Heal Your Relationships is a program I designed explicitly for women. HYR provides evidence-based tools, training, and a community to build an unshakeable foundation and rock-solid connections.

In this 8-week program, you will get the HYR™ Framework and Tools and weekly calls with certified coaches in a group environment and privately.

Besides, you won’t be by yourself on this journey. A community of women will have your back every step of the way.

Do you want to learn more? Book a call with me: https://healyourrelationships.com/heal-your-relationships/

In This Episode:

00:00Welcome back to another episode of Emotional Mastery

01:07 Introducing Dr Sadaf Lodhi

03:48 How did Dr Sadaf Lodhi get into coaching?

06:53 When did Dr Sadaf Lodhi decide to become a coach?

07:37 The discomfort associated with talking about sex

08:49 How to develop a more sex-positive mindset?

10:48 Some of the most common sex-negative thoughts

12:01 How to bridge the gap between sexual and emotional intimacy?

15:19 How to spice things up in a relationship that feels stale?

18:07 People who feel uncomfortable scheduling dates with their partner

21:35 Explanation

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Life is short. Are you focusing on what matters most? Or do misunderstandings, hurts, and rumination consume your precious time and energy?

In this bonus episode, I share why being intentional with your relationships is important and how you can learn practical ways to stop arguing for good. Tune in and register for the free 5-Day Marriage Communication Challenge that runs June 5th - June 9th, 2023.

Click here to register for the free 5-Day Marriage Communication Challenge: https://drkavetha.com/communication-challenge

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How to make big decisions? This theme has come up over and over in my sessions with clients.

People who struggle to make big decisions are immersed in confusion and hesitation.

Besides, they may be waiting for something to happen before making these big decisions.

And they also think that they are not brave enough and that some other people are wired to jump, but they simply can’t do it.

It doesn’t work like that.

Everyone has the same design in their brain. It’s not that they’re brave and you’re not.

The people who make big, bold decisions have overridden the fear installed by the primitive brain.

And you can do it too.

So today, I share with you guys how I have made big decisions in my life and the framework I use to walk myself through the other side, especially when I’m really scared and don’t know what I will find once I make the leap.

What I mention in this episode:

The big seven leaps I made in my own personal life
The reason why vagueness is the enemy of action
The role of consistency when making changes

What you’ll learn from it:

The definition and characteristics of a big decision
The four steps to making big decisions
A practical exercise for overriding the fear center of your brain
How to deal with the fear of loneliness

I hope this episode helps you realize that you must be willing to blow things up a little bit to find the beauty waiting for you on the other side.

With love, Kavetha

PS- Are you looking to create a solid emotional foundation and nourish fulfilling relationships?

Then I have something to help you.

Heal Your Relationships, my program specifically designed for women, provides evidence-based tools, training, and a community to build an unshakeable foundation and rock-solid relationships.

In this 8-week program, you will get the HYR™ Framework and Tools, and weekly calls with certified coaches, both in a group environment as well as privately.

You’ll also be accompanied by a group of women who have each other’s back.

Do you want to learn more? Click here and book a breakthrough call with me: https://healyourrelationships.com/heal-your-relationships/

In This Episode:

00:00Welcome back to another episode of Emotional Mastery

00:33 I want to invite you to a free marriage communication challenge

02:02 Today we are gonna talk about how to make big decisions

04:09 Vagueness is the enemy of action

04:50 What is a big decision?

06:58 The big seven leaps I made in my life

14:20 The first step to making big decisions

18:42 A practical exercise for implementing the first step

24:15 The second step

30:43 The third step

33:16 The fourth step

38:31 There is no achieving but deepening confidence in your capacities

40:49 Your next version of yourself is knocking

44:27 How to deal with the fear of loneliness

45:41 The role of consistency when making changes

51:06 You can do the things that seem impossible to you today

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When Breath Becomes Air, the book written by Dr. Paul Kalanithi, moved and inspired me.

Many of you said you enjoy my takeaways about a particular book.

So today I want to share some lessons from this piercing work.

Recently, I read this book for the third time and got more from it this time than ever.

I think the reason is that I’m older and have had more experiences.

Some of them have been exhilarating. Others have been sobering. And I have also experienced grief more acutely.

Even though the book is imbued with the wisdom of death looming, it is life-affirming. Reading it has definitely opened up my life.

What I mention in this episode:

Why the depth of experience I went through has made this book more precious to me
Paul Kalanithi’s biography
Four main lessons I learned from the book

What you’ll learn from it:

The importance of deciding what’s really important to you to make the most of your time
How to live in your questions rather than rushing to get answers
The sacredness in finding the work you are meant to do on this Earth
Why you don’t have to explain the reason you like or dislike something

I hope this book gives you the same goosebumps it gives me every time I read it.

xo, Kavetha

PS- Want to create an unshakable foundation and cultivate meaningful relationships?

My program for women, Heal Your Relationships, offers evidence-based tools, training, and community to build an unshakeable foundation and rock-solid relationships.

In this 8-week program, you will get the HYR™ Framework and Tools, and weekly calls with certified coaches in a group environment and privately.

Besides, you’ll be surrounded by a community of women who have each other’s back.

Click here to learn more and connect for a breakthrough call with me: https://healyourrelationships.com/

In This Episode:

00:00Welcome back to another episode of Emotional Mastery

01:38 Today I have a special treat for you

03:58 Introduction to the book When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi

06:55 General summary of the book

11:19 First lesson from the book

16:47 Second lesson from the book

19:03 Third lesson from the book

23:33 Forth lesson from the book

25:44 Connection of this book with the five remembrances

27:31 I would love to hear from you

Resources:

Podcast episode about Viktor Frankl’s teachings - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wiseish-010-5-lessons-from-viktor-frankl/id1622617195?i=1000565759860
Book “When Breath Becomes Air” by Paul Kalanithi - https://www.amazon.com/When-Breath-Becomes-Paul-Kalanithi/dp/081298840X
Book “Cutting for Stone” by Abraham Verghese - https://www.amazon.com/Cutting-Stone-novel-Abraham-Verghese/dp/0375414495/
The five remembrances from the Upajjhatthana Sutta - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Upajjhatthana_Sutta

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Parenting a sensitive child could be difficult. Especially when they come from sensitive parents who are thoughtful and want to acknowledge their emotions while, at the same time, establishing the appropriate boundaries.

Many of us, as healers, whether physicians or coaches, want to help our clients heal in a wholesome way.

This also applies to our children.

We may fumble with finding how to help our children when they struggle with the same problems we had when we were younger.

It is true that we heal ourselves through each client that we heal. And also through raising our children in an emotionally safe environment, with all the wonderful and scary things this process entails.

To learn more about raising sensitive children, Erica and I have invited Dr. Ceara Deno.

She's a mom to two boys, ages 11 and 13, a newborn medicine physician in Boston, and a parent coach for sensitive families to build peaceful homes.

In today's episode, Dr. Ceara Deno explains the characteristics of a sensitive child and a sensitive family.

Besides, she shares her thoughts on how to start developing emotional mastery, the role of trauma in parenting, and the common thread that caring parents bring to coaching sessions.

If you have a sensitive child or if you are a sensitive person, this episode will provide invaluable wisdom to connect with your loved ones respectfully and vulnerably.

I hope it helps you as much as it helped me.

In This Episode:

00:00Welcome back to another episode of Emotional Mastery

01:01 Welcoming Dr. Ceara Deno

01:54 Helping sensitive families to build peaceful homes

03:24 How did Dr. Ceara Deno start working as a parent coach?

07:45 Migrating into the niche of sensitive children and parents

10:39 How to know if you are a member of a sensitive family

13:02 The sensory oversensitivity associated with being neurodivergent

15:28 Adults who were sensitive children

17:11 Dr. Ceara Deno’s entry point to developing emotional mastery

20:44 The role of trauma in parenting

24:29 Anger means unmet needs and what to do about it

29:17 Common thread that parents bring to coaching sessions

32:35 Incorporating role play in parenting

35:45 How to deal with pressing issues that seem unsolvable

40:43 The human side of parenting

43:44 Connecting before correcting

47:30 How to contact Dr. Ceara Deno

48:55 Concept of repair in relationships

Resources:

Jai Institute for Parenting - https://coaches.jaiinstituteforparenting.com/

Connect with Dr. Ceara Deno:

Website - https://www.sweetspotparenting.com/

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair

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Our relationships could feel boring or distant. We may think that we no longer have much in common with the other person. We may not even know if we find the other person interesting or exciting.

Believe me, you are not the only human being in the world who has doubts about their relationships.

And I'm not only speaking about romantic connections. Every relationship has its seasons, also the ones that you have with your parents, your coworkers, your friends, other members of your family, or even with yourself.

So how do you restore vitality and aliveness in your relationships?

It's a real dilemma.

To revive the relationship, you must put energy, effort, and attention into it.

But since you find the relationship boring in the first place, you don't want to dedicate your precious time to fix it.

It's like chasing your own tail. You want that feeling back, but you want the feeling before putting in the effort.

In today's episode, I explain why you feel bored in your relationship.

Two of my personal stories will illustrate the importance of being you, unapologetically, to bring back joy and aliveness in your day-to-day life and connections with others.

My strategies to unveil radical honesty will allow you to pay attention to the whispers of truth in your ear.

Take some time. Let it simmer. And keep tending to your truth until you hit something surprising. That hidden truth is what will bring realness to your relationship.

In This Episode:

00:00Welcome back to another episode of Emotional Mastery

01:00 It’s so good to connect with you!

02:05 A question has been marinated in my brain

03:46 What do we do when a relationship feels boring?

05:01 The dilemma of fixing a relationship that feels boring

06:22 Your relationship with yourself could feel dull too

07:22 The reason why you feel like this

08:01 An example from my personal life

11:36 What happened when I start feeling better

13:42 Another personal story I want to share with you

17:19 Speaking your truth and connecting with radical honesty

20:17 The first thing you need to do to connect with your truth

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair
● Sign up to my live event: The Clearing: https://bit.ly/TheClearingLIVE

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Sometimes what bothers us is not actually what bothers us.

There is something underlying our angst, discomfort, emptiness. But what's at the bottom of these feelings?

It could be many things. And it's hard to pinpoint the reasons.

At the same time, there is a method that helps us identify all of these reasons.

In today's episode, I share this method. Undoubtedly, it will help you discover the core of what you have to shift to get the feeling you are chasing NOW.

It will help you avoid abstractions and noise to get to the root of the issue and start acting from that place.

And furthermore, it will prevent you from blaming others for your situation. You don't have to absolve yourself from ownership and responsibility. You must be in the driver's seat of your life.

I know you can do it, and this method will certainly help you get there.

In This Episode:

00:01I’m recording this in New York City!

01:54 News from my personal life

03:04 Introduction of today’s topic

04:10 The 5 Whys method

07:41 Focus on your own responsibilities

10:05 Using this method to analyze why you are upset

11:53 The amount of “whys” you ask to get to the root

13:05 Situations where you can use this method

14:31 What to do when you find the root of the issue

15:27 I would love to hear from you!

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

Email your answers at drsunteam@gmail.com

Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair

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Writing down the situations when you feel triggered is an excellent exercise to get to know yourself more.

Besides jotting down these moments, you must write the feelings that come up in every instance.

Not the thoughts. Not the stories you tell about it. Just the FEELINGS.

Anger, disappointment, overwhelmed, confusion, fear, happiness, worry, rage. Whatever it is, write it down.

In today’s episode, I will help you look for the patterns emerging in those upsetting moments or events.

You will also discover the different coping strategies you may choose when you experience uncomfortable feelings.

We all have at least one of these mechanisms: ruminating, venting, yelling, becoming passive-aggressive, shutting down, or distracting ourselves with wine, food, or work. All of us.

But awareness is the first step. Once you unveil your patterns and how you act upon them, you can implement the strategies to change and grow from them.

In This Episode:

00:34I hope you are having a good day

00:55 Topics already covered on the podcast

02:14 Today’s exercise

03:08 Different coping mechanisms

04:48 Writing down your actions when upsetting feelings come up

05:43 Our membership program Mastery is open again

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

● Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair

● Sign up to my live event: The Clearing: https://bit.ly/TheClearingLIVE

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Rumination is not just thinking repeatedly about something. This is introspection.

Instead, rumination is persevering on distressing ideas. It is an intrusive and obsessive act rather than a deep reflection.

In fact, rumination is our go-to place when things are uncomfortable.

Someone may have said something upsetting to you. And then you repeat that conversation in your head.

Five million times.

So ruminating is tough.

On the one hand, it gives you a sense of power and control over the situation. But, on the other, it can be very destructive.

Besides, rumination is like a stationary bike. It goes nowhere.

Today’s guest, Dr. Kristi Angevine, will help us understand why ruminating is a habit and how to deconstruct it.

Dr. Kristi Angevine is a board-certified ObGyn and also a certified life coach. She specializes in helping high-achievers change unhelpful habits into intentional ones.

Today, Erika and I spoke with Kristi about habits in general and rumination in particular.

I hope you get as much from this interview as we did. Enjoy.

In This Episode:

01:20Introducing Dr. Kristi Angevine

04:54 Kristi’s background

06:28 Reason why Kristi focuses on habits

13:18 Definition of the habit of rumination

16:43 Why do we ruminate?

19:19 Rumination doesn’t feel like a choice

22:05 Actions that could be done when ruminating

28:31 How to prevent the emergence of rumination

35:10 Examples of helpful resources

44.15 What to do if your inner critic emerges

45.44 Kristi’s childhood memory that she really cherishes

47.42 Connecting with Kristi’s work

Dr. Kristi Angevine

Website - https://habitsonpurpose.com/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/habits.on.purpose
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/kristi.angevine/
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristi-angevine/
Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/habits-on-purpose/id1609275644

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

● Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair

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Many people get stuck in the process of rebuilding trust in a relationship after experiencing disappointment or betrayal.

Most of them want to reconcile quickly and go to the past, to the relationship dynamic before the betrayal or the deception took place.

But let me tell you this - that time is not coming back. And it shouldn't. Because the relationship wasn't working for any of you back then. (Obviously!)

You have to create a new normal. And trust me - you want to create a new normal.

A more honest, transparent, resilient, and vulnerable new normal.

In this week's episode of Emotional Mastery, I share the three steps to rebuilding trust in a relationship.

Besides, I offer an extra tip, discuss the role of forgiveness in this process and what happens if you decide to part ways with the other person after all.

I want you to trust yourself. And create trusting relationships around you. Your engagement is vital to achieving it.

In This Episode:

01:06Trusting yourself to trust others

04:07 Creating a new normal that is more honest and vulnerable

06:34 Seeking to understand the other person

07:18 The role of forgiveness in this process

11:55 Looking for times when you were a liar

13:53 What happens when you decide to part ways with someone

14:51 Reach out if you need help and want to join one of our programs

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

● Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair

● Sign up to my live event: The Clearing: https://bit.ly/TheClearingLIVE

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A conflict bothers us, drains our energy, and makes us feel scattered and without focus.

We cannot enjoy any moment when we are worrying about an argument.

The reason behind this is that we are ruminating. We are not present.

At the same time, how we think about the problem also worsens the relationship.

However, conflicts are not destructive.

Shocking, right?

If fact, if you are experiencing conflicts with your partner, this means that the relationship is alive.

And, in truth, this is a good thing!

Even though it's uncomfortable and there are push and pull scenarios, experiencing conflicts means you care. Moreover, it means you haven't shut down.

In this week's episode of Emotional Mastery, I will first mention why we get stuck in the same patterns over and over again.

Then, I will describe the two different ways of approaching conflict. Lastly, I will offer the first step to changing the tone of your relationship when engaging in arguments.

Once you know how to use conflict to get closer to the other person, it becomes a game-changer for your whole relationship.

So no more running away. Drop the resistance. You are ready.

In This Episode:

01:30Today we are going to talk about conflict

02:38 People come to me when they are stuck in a specific situation

05:51 First mistake we make in conflict resolution

08:51 Second mistake we make in conflict resolution

09:58 Conflict is easy to happen if there is distance in a relationship

10:52 Finding a new path that doesn’t involve blaming the other person

11:49 Two different ways of approaching conflict

14:35 Higher incidents that cause divorce

16:41 We often end up with someone who manages problems differently

17:17 Emotional needs that are not met when arguments take place

20:10 First thing to do if you want to change the tone of the relationship

28:01 Takeaways for starting dealing with disputes in a different way

30:56 Resources to keep working through these issues

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

● Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair

● Sign up to my live event: The Clearing: https://bit.ly/TheClearingLIVE

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Welcome to Episode 1 of the Emotional Mastery Show!

Today, I speak with Dr. Erica Bove about what emotional mastery is exactly, and how quickly life can change when you learn the tools that we (sadly) aren't taught in school. Erica first learned about the tools I have created in 2020, and since then, her whole life has changed in so many wonderful ways. She has become the master of her fate and the captain of her soul. And today, she is here to share what these tools are, and just how simple, straightforward, and effective they can be.

We also dive into the tremendous impact this work has had on her relationships. Hands down my favorite episode of the podcast thus far.

Enjoy!

Resources mentioned in this episode: 1. Book a free Relationship Breakthrough Call with our team —> https://drkavethasun.as.me/

Join our free FB group for women physicians —> https://www.facebook.com/groups/em4fp
Join our free FB group for women (non-physicians) —> https://www.facebook.com/groups/rm4wl

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

Facebook
Facebook Group
LinkedIn
YouTube

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There are three conversations within every conversation.

But what does this mean?

We can identify three different conversations whenever we have any interaction, even the most mundane ones.

In the first place, a whole world is happening inside of you.

When talking, you bring up your past experiences, identity, values, belief systems, and feelings.

At the same time, the other person does the same. They, too, bring their whole world when arguing or discussing an issue with you.

Concurrently, there is also a third conversation taking place.

And in this third space, more nuances and shades of gray exist.

Accessing the third level of conversation is vital to stop the cycle of repeating the same things over and over again.

In this week's episode of Your Brain on Trauma, I will unpack the characteristics of the three conversations so you can start observing them.

Once you have these resources, you can master the third conversation.

And this awareness will allow you to develop a superpower that will undoubtedly put the world in your palm.

In This Episode:

01:22My daughter had many play dates this week

02:41 A fiction book that I’m reading right now

03:28 There are three conversations within every conversation

04:54 Characteristics of the first and the second conversations

07:01 Intentions that we ascribe to someone else

08:20 Characteristics of the third conversation

10:09 Persistence is important as long as it is well-directed

11:14 Getting a point across in a collaborative way is a superpower

12:15 Anything worth doing involves other people

15:06 How to start identifying the three conversations

17:00 Remember that you are not alone in the world

Resources:

Book “This Is How It Always Is: A Novel” by Laurie Frankel - https://www.amazon.com/This-How-Always-Laurie-Frankel/dp/1250088550

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

● Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair

● Come join us in our free Facebook group Your Brain on Trauma, where is a whole community of women just like you who are on this sacred healing journey: https://www.facebook.com/groups/rm4fp/

● Sign up to my live event: The Clearing: https://bit.ly/TheClearingLIVE

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Two toxic emotions are painful for everyone.

Children and adults alike.

But unfortunately, some parents trigger these emotions in their own kids.

Despite being well-meant, intelligent, and loving parents, they still cause emotional havoc in their children.

As I have said, they are painful for everyone. But especially for children because they are dependent on adults, and they have to tolerate what we, as adults, do to them.

So, how can we teach our children how to handle their emotions?

Some controversial parenting techniques work. However, this doesn't mean that they are right.

As a matter of fact, your job is to show your kids how to regulate themselves emotionally.

And you have to do this without shaming or punishing them with the feeling of aloneness.

In this week's episode of Your Brain on Trauma, I will first describe the two most toxic emotions.

Afterward, you will listen to examples of how these emotions manifest in parenting.

Finally, you will get my advice on teaching your children how to regulate their emotions without shaming them or leaving them alone.

In This Episode:

01:00I feel grateful for having found my purpose

03:04 Well-meant parents can trigger toxic emotions in their children

04:50 Two most toxic emotions

06:57 One of these emotions induces the other one

08:16 How do these toxic emotions show up in parenting

11:29 Some parenting techniques work but are not right

12:22 Helping your children constructively

13:15 Showing your children what is wrong without leaving them alone

17:16 Teaching without lecturing and by acknowledging their feelings

18:36 Why solitary confinement is the worst punishment

19:34 Our job as parents and how children behave

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

● Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair

● Sign up to my live event: The Clearing: https://bit.ly/TheClearingLIVE

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Modern life often has us juggling balls, frantically rushing from one activity to another, until we collapse into bed, exhausted, only to wake up and do it all again.

No wonder we struggle with emptiness and disconnection!

One way that we have found to infuse our family life with a sense of purpose, belonging, meaning, and connection, is to create a family creed.

Listen in as I share the 7 values that we have included in our family creed. And how we bring them to life in every day, moments, and decisions we make as a family.

If this inspires you to create your own (and I hope it does!) I also share tips on how to begin creating yours.

Enjoy.

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

● Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair

● Sign up to my live event: The Clearing: https://bit.ly/TheClearingLIVE

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Dream together if you want your relationship to thrive and not only to survive. This advice applies to EVERY type of relationship. Not only romantic ones.

So with this introduction, I welcome you to my first relationTIP.

On this occasion, the relationTIP is to dream together.

We generally talk about handling conflict or getting more connected in our relationships. Still, we need to actually dream and make each other's dreams come true.

Sometimes, we are so focused on fixing the past or negotiating the present that we forget about the future. But we must remember the importance of building something together that will stand the test of time.

In this week's episode of Your Brain on Trauma, I will explain how you can use vision boarding to dream with your spouse, mom, best friend, or someone you hold dear. As a result, your relationship will improve just in the process of dreaming together.

In This Episode:

01:14Recording this podcast is one of the highlights of my week

01:47 What do I mean by relationTIP

02:38 Today’s relationTIP is to dream together

03:14 The reason why we have relationships in this modern world

05:00 Vision boarding as a tool to dream together

08:39 My own recent experience with vision boarding

12:37 Allow yourself to dream in all your relationships

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

● Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair

● Sign up to my live event: The Clearing: https://bit.ly/TheClearingLIVE

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For many years in my own life, I didn't enjoy Valentine's Day.

During my first ten years in America, I struggled in my relationships. I experienced many problems that I now know were very common. Still, no one told me that back in the day, not even when I was training to be a Psychiatrist.

However, I have LOVED Valentine's Day for the last ten years. And the reason behind this is that the other days are just as good.

Valentine's Day alone will not fix anything in anyone's relationship when the foundation isn't solid. It will be just a band-aid on a broken bone.

Fortunately, there's a way of nurturing your relationship every day, and I share with you some ideas that will help.

In this week's episode of Your Brain on Trauma, I will explain why you need to have a solid foundation in your relationship to enjoy Valentine's Day and every other dull day.

In This Episode:

01:13I didn’t enjoy Valentine’s Day in the past

02:26 Struggles I experienced in my previous relationships

04:06 When I started liking Valentine’s Day

05:51 My message for you today on this occasion

07:32 Unsexy work of building the foundation for your relationship

09:02 Identify what makes you uncomfortable to start changing it

10:52 How we can help you build a strong foundation in your relationship

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

● Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair

● Sign up to my live event: The Clearing: https://bit.ly/TheClearingLIVE

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There is a lot of discourse about toxic relationships and why we stay in them.

And I have seen the same pattern many times. This pattern comes and goes in waves.

In a specific season, I have friends who struggle in their relationships.

Most times, the people involved in these relationships are good people with good intentions.

But they don't have the necessary tools or perspectives to navigate a connection.

Luckily, these problems are easy to fix if you know what to do and when to do it.

Other times, instead, people are just in BAD relationships. There is verbal and physical abuse and repeated infidelity.

So why do we stay in toxic relationships? Why do we put so much effort into holding onto a person who isn't good for us? Why are we so afraid of being alone?

In this week's episode of Your Brain on Trauma, I will explain the three reasons why we stay in toxic relationships. This insight will help you identify your patterns to start your healing journey. Let's dive in.

In This Episode:

01:35It was my birthday and my celebration was wonderful

02:26 Good people struggle in their relationships and this can be fixed

03:20 Sometimes people engage in abusive relationships

04:29 My definition of a toxic relationship

05:33 People stay in bad relationships for years

06:53 Reason one for staying in toxic relationships

11:59 Reason two for staying in toxic relationships

15:40 Reason three for staying in toxic relationships

17:57 The three reasons are connected with low self-esteem

19:00 Ways of justifying the permanence in a toxic relationship

21:12 How my programs and events can help you heal your patterns

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

● Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair

● Sign up to my live event: The Clearing: https://bit.ly/TheClearingLIVE

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In This Episode:

Today I want to talk about change.

Usually, we start the beginning of every year with a lot of gusto about what we need to be better at and all the habits that we need to change.

And then, by mid-January, things start to fizzle out.

For a long time, I thought this happened because of a lack of prioritization or discipline.

But the truth is that we have a lot of discipline for the things that TRULY MATTER.

So what can we do to bring that energy into the habits we would like to change?

The answer is in our values.

Whatever your value system is, you engage in activities that help you connect with it. And you feel good doing them.

In this week's episode of Your Brain on Trauma, I will teach you a gentle, loving, and effective process for changing habits. And it works better than discipline or grit. Let’s go.

In This Episode:

00:55Thursdays are my favorite days of the week because I connect with you

01:41 Energy of change at the beginning of the year

02:31 We are disciplined in those things that genuinely matter to us

04:11 Your values will help you direct energy into what you want to become

05:06 Examples of how values guide our choices

08:09 How to use values in the service of taking on a new habit

11:05 Creating bridges to connect a habit to enjoy with the one you don’t enjoy that much

12:59 An exercise to drop the discipline route and try a new approach

14:48 Embrace a more loving, gentle, and effective process for developing as a person

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

● Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair

● Sign up to my live event: The Clearing: https://bit.ly/TheClearingLIVE

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Some days are smooth and easy.

You wake up, and the weather seems to be working on your behalf.

You don't know why or how, but things seem OK.

And there are other days when all the lights are red, everyone seems to be in a bad mood, and things are just…crabby.

We are going to have both kinds of days. A LOT of both types of days during our lifetime.

So I want to offer you something.

Whether you are having an easy day, a mixed day, or a hard one, I want you to remember that you are not alone.

Today I want to talk to you about The Unanswerable Question. This question comes to your mind when you have one of those bad days, or someone hurts your feelings or lets you down.

The unsawerable question pokes at an older wound. And in this episode, I will help you identify yours and analyze it compassionately. Let's start.

In This Episode:

00:44Whatever you are going through right now, you are not alone

01:44 Learn about the concept of the unanswerable question

03:39 Situations in which the unanswerable question emerges

05:14 We all have triggers that poke an extreme reaction on us

05:57 These are my triggering moments and the meaning I associate with them

06:42 Common unanswerable questions that come up

08:42 Different go-to reactions after the emergence of the unanswerable question

09:43 Why do we qualify this question as an unanswerable

11:07 Healthy ways for finding answers to the supposedly unanswerable question

12:24 Questions to ask yourself to identify your unanswerable question

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

● Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair

● Sign up to my live event: The Clearing: https://bit.ly/TheClearingLIVE

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Have you ever wondered what the difference is between therapy and coaching?

It can be hard to understand what each one entails, especially when you are wondering which one might be right for you.

Some therapists say that coaching is unhelpful, even dangerous, and there are coaches who say that therapists are stuck in the dark ages.

The truth is, there is no clear right or wrong, despite what proponents in each might tell you.

YOU get to pick up the tool that suits YOUR specific life stage.

In this week’s episode, you’ll hear my thoughts on therapy vs coaching, where I see the contribution of one vs the other, and where I see the overlap across the two.

I’m sharing what I think are the benefits of each, what I think they both miss, and three questions to ask yourself if you are wondering whether you should get a therapist or a coach

In This Episode:

01:50Hear the two different worlds I belong to and how I use this blend to help my clients

03:01 Learn why my approach is so unique

04:37 If I had to describe therapy in one sentence, it would be this…

07:12 There is no right or wrong between therapy and coaching. Here’s why…

08:32 Learn another big difference between coaching and therapy

10:59 This is what I think therapy often misses…

14:21 There are some things the coaching world also misses. Here’s what I think they are…

16:07 Very little of the coaching available is trauma-focused. Here’s the problem with this…

17:59 Find out why medications can be lifesaving but they’re not enough to create a thriving healed life

19:30 Three questions to ask yourself if you are deciding on a therapist or a coach

22:21 Hear how the tools I’ve created are a combination of both coaching and therapy

24:11 Do you have a topic you’d like me to discuss in future?

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

● Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair

● Sign up to my live event: The Clearing: https://bit.ly/TheClearingLIVE

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How do you react when someone cuts you up in traffic?

It’s annoying, right?!

What about when they ignore you or roll their eyes at something you said?

How do you respond when somebody hurts your feelings or rejects your ideas?

The way you respond when you get poked or triggered is called your “F” type.

And knowing your “F” type is a kind of awareness that can be life-changing.

When you discover which “F” type you fall into most commonly, you can start shifting the way you show up in the world.

As I said, it’s life-changing.

In This Episode:

02:12 What is your “F” type, and why is it important to know?

03:51 Find out what triggers are and how they work

05:38 Are triggers all about memories? Here’s what I think…

09:11 The first step to relaxing the part of your nervous system that gets triggered

09:48 There are four types of reactions to triggers, I call these the four “F” types

10:07 Find out what the first “F” type response is

11:13 This is the second of the four “F” types, and what it entails

12:21 Discover the third “F” type and what it consists of

14:19 I’m sharing the final of the four “F” types and where it shows up most often

16:41 What I want you to do today in regards to this work

18:19 What I’ll be sharing with you in coming episodes

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

● Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair

● Sign up to my live event: The Clearing: https://bit.ly/TheClearingLIVE

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I firmly believe you cannot heal on your own.

Believe me, I tried. For many years.

We need community and people around us. This is just one of 6 phases that I believe are truly essential if we want to heal from our past.

Almost everybody I have witnessed going through a journey of healing – including myself – experiences these 6 phases, and with them, is able to start showing up differently and have better relationships.

In this episode, learn what each of these 6 phases looks like, why each one is so important, and recognize how they show up for you on your own healing journey.

I’m showing you how to use these 6 phases to reach less pain and suffering as quickly as possible, and start making your healing journey a priority.

In This Episode:

04:44 The first phase of healing from the past

07:14 This moment might make you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom, but it’s really the moment of change

08:42 Here’s stage two of the healing journey and why it happens

10:45 Information is the beginning of transformation. This is why…

11:23 I share the third phase of the healing journey and how it might look in your life

12:11 In my opinion, without THIS, healing can’t ever be complete…

13:27 Discover the reason you can’t heal on your own

15:02 Introducing the fourth stage of the healing journey and what it entails

16:20 Hear the fifth phase of the healing journey, what it looks like how you can do it

17:45 The final phase of the healing journey becomes your way of being. Here’s what that looks like…

19:25 We all have to go through these 6 phases in order to heal, but there’s a difference in the way we experience each one

19:38 I really do believe THIS is why I was put on this earth…

20:42 Pause and ask yourself these questions to help you on your healing journey

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

● Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair

● Sign up to my live event: The Clearing: https://bit.ly/TheClearingLIVE

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So many of us think that permanent healing is not available to us.

We think that we are stuck feeling how we feel forever, and there is nothing we can do about it.

But my friends, this is not true.

Permanent healing is possible for you.

But to access it, you need to stop sticking Band-Aids on to temporarily fix the problem, and start focusing on the deeper work.

Sticking Band-Aids on the problem won’t help, in fact, it will often make the problem worse.

Trust me – I know.

I’ve done it myself.

So this week, I’m sharing a concept with you called No More Band-Aids and showing you how to use it to access complete, permanent healing and start to live a joyful, free, and happy life.

Discover three ingredients that lead to permanent healing and how to use them to build authentic, meaningful relationships, and why permanent healing is fully available to you, no matter what you have gone through in your life.

In This Episode:

02:15 Here’s what I‘m talking about in today’s episode…

03:23 Sometimes Band-Aids make things worse. Here’s why..

06:55 Find out why complete healing is possible for you

07:59 Three ingredients that I’ve found to be essential to permanent healing and what each of them mean

10:15 What IFS is and how it ties into what I’m teaching you today

11:04 I’m sharing some of the protective mechanisms we develop in order to survive

12:23 A very basic, high-level introduction into Internal Family Systems

16:24 Learn how I use a combination of polyvagal theory and somatic experiencing in my work

17:25 Even when you heal, your psyche and your body will still keep you in trauma loops. Here’s why…

19:55 The final part to the three ingredients of permanent healing

21:30 Relationships are a mirror of what is happening inside of us

21:55 Here’s another thing that complicates trauma recovery

24:42 Learn why just one of these three ingredients is not enough for healing

25:08 This is what true, permanent healing is and why it’s possible for you

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

● Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair

● Sign up to my live event: The Clearing: https://bit.ly/TheClearingLIVE

● Want more information about The Clearing? Email me or DM me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kavetha.sundaramoorthy

Resources mentioned:

· The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D.: https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748/

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We generally talk about hope as something that is positive, lovely, and healing.

But hope is only a good thing if it is encouraging you to take personal responsibility and action in your life.

So what about when it doesn’t?

What about when hope is actually toxic?

Relying on hope alone is one of the biggest reasons for suffering in this world. It’s a copout.

And the sooner you understand this, the sooner you can approach what I call the messy middle, and the sooner you can truly heal.

That’s why you’re here, right?

In this episode of Your Brain on Trauma, I’m showing you why you already have everything you need to be able to face the messy middle and why doing so is such an integral part of your healing journey.

Discover the problem with relying solely on hope in your life and find out exactly what it takes to heal from the inside out, have better relationships, and pass on a legacy that is better than the one you inherited.

In This Episode:

03:50 Just helping people isn’t good enough nowadays. This is what I want to be doing instead…

05:57 What I’m talking about today might ruffle your feathers. Here’s why…

06:23 Learn one of the biggest reasons for suffering in this world

08:49 Here’s something I’ve seen play out so many times in my own life and relationships

12:20 I’m sharing an example of how toxic hope has shown up in my own family

14:11 Many of us allow ourselves to get stuck because we don’t want to face the messy middle. This is why that’s such a problem…

15:36 A real-life example of toxic hope from one of my clients

19:38 You HAVE to be willing to face the messy middle. Here’s why…

22:05 The truth will always come out eventually

22:29 Here’s what you need to do if you want to truly heal…

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

● Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair

● Sign up to my live event: The Clearing: https://bit.ly/TheClearingLIVE

● Want more information about The Clearing? DM me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kavetha.sundaramoorthy

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Have you ever had a conversation with somebody that left you instantly moved?

Maybe it gave you a new way of seeing things or explained why somebody behaves in a certain way.

Maybe it gave you a different perspective that you would never have otherwise considered.

We have so many conversations throughout our lives, but only a select few truly stay with us.

Only a select few have the power to change our entire way of being and showing up in the world.

The transformational gifts that come from these conversations are priceless.

In this episode, I’m sharing 6 conversations that have completely changed and transformed my life in the hope that they will inspire you to remember and savor such moments of grace and beauty in your own life, no matter how fleeting they might be.

I am so excited to share these conversations with you, and show you how they helped me navigate my life, what they have taught me in terms of approaching day-to-day life and relationships, and how they can help you navigate whatever you are facing in your own life.

In This Episode:

03:00 Find out what I’ll be sharing with you today

04:00 Are you ready to truly, permanently heal? Here’s what you can expect from an event I’m running on March 4th, 5th, and 6th, 2023

05:50 The first conversation that changed my life, a gift from my best friend

10:24 Hear how my worldview and view of myself changed due to this one conversation

11:34 The second conversation that changed my life, a new way of thinking about my status as an immigrant

16:14 The third conversation that changed how I show up, and what it taught me about my dad

20:32 The fourth conversation, and how it altered the way I make decisions in life

24:57 Sometimes wisdom comes from unlikely places. Here’s the fifth conversation, one with my 3-year-old daughter

28:14 The final conversation I want to share with you and how it has changed the way I approach relationships

32:36 Learn what I want you to take from these conversations and why I shared them with you

33:33 Reviews are podcast gold. Please leave us one and help more women on their healing journeys

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair
Come join us in our free Facebook group Your Brain on Trauma, where is a whole community of women just like you who are on this sacred healing journey: https://www.facebook.com/groups/rm4fp/
Sign up to my live event: The Clearing: https://bit.ly/TheClearingLIVE
Want more information about The Clearing? DM me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kavetha.sundaramoorthy

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White lies. We’re surrounded by them and people telling them.

Our loved ones do it, our workplaces do it, our kids do it, and we do it.

We think they’re harmless.

But are they really?

White lies can often feel like the easier, and sometimes more kind, ethical option. Trust me – I know. I used to be the queen of white lies.

But then I realized they were a problem.

In this episode, hear some of the ways I used to tell white lies, the effects these had upon my life in general, and how to spot where you’re doing the same in your own life.

Find out why the white lies you commit every day takes you further away from your true self, and how telling them robs you of internal integrity, relationships, and the potential for honesty and growth.

In This Episode:

04:36 Find out what we’re going to be talking about in today’s episode

05:02 Here are some examples of the white lies many of us tell our kids

06:02 Are white lies a problem? Here’s what I think…

09:11 Find out why re-examining my relationship with white lies was one of the most important levers in my healing journey

10:11 The white lies you commit every day takes you further away from yourself. Here’s why…

11:33 Where is the line between a lie and a white lie?

12:39 Hear everything that telling white lies robs you of

13:04I’m sharing how I think about integrity and why it is so powerful

14:29 Where do YOU tend to speak white lies?

16:03 My challenge for you

17:30 This is how healing happens…

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

● Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair

● Sign up to my live event: The Clearing: https://bit.ly/TheClearingLIVE

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Most of us have been exposed to the upside of unconditional support.

It feels fuzzy, lovely, and warm; it’s ideal.

But as much as I’m a huge fan of creating safety in relationships, I am NOT a fan of unconditional support.

What?!

Why would I believe in emotional safety, but not unconditional support?

There was a time in my life when I had unconditional support, but it actually hindered my growth and healing journey.

There is a difference between unconditional safety and unconditional support.

This week, I’m sharing what that difference is, and a personal experience that brought this home for me in my own life.

Discover the most efficient way to permanent healing and how to apply this to your parenting, relationships, or any other area of your life.

In This Episode:

02:05 Healed individuals create a ripple effect. Here’s how…

03:14 Find out why I’m not a fan of unconditional support

03:30 An update on the in-person retreat originally planned for February 2023

05:12 I’m sharing a story that brought this home for me in my own life

07:35 I loved going to therapy, but it wasn’t always helping me with my growth. This is why…

09:43 Growth cannot happen in THIS circumstance…

13:50 This is something that a lot of coaches and therapists do not understand...

15:34 Want to know if learning has happened? This is the ONLY way…

16:08 The reason many of us are in and out of therapy for decades

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair
Come join us in our free Facebook group Your Brain on Trauma, where is a whole community of women just like you who are on this sacred healing journey: https://www.facebook.com/groups/rm4fp/
Sign up for the retreat in February here: https://bit.ly/TheClearingLIVE

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Did you know that the language you use affects your entire experience and perception of life?

Well, my loved ones, it does.

Whether it’s the self-talk you have running in the background of your mind or the things you say to other people, the words you use can have a profound effect on your journey.

So ask yourself, is the language you are using serving you and your relationships?

It has been proven that making just one simple shift in the language you use is equal to or better than medication or CBT for mild to moderate depression.

This shift is readily available to you right now.

So in this week’s episode, I’m here to share the power of language and the spoken word and help you to start using it more powerfully and intentionally in your life.

Find out why your inner and outer use of language is such a powerful lever in your journey of healing, growth, and creating better relationships, and discover a powerful exercise you can do right now to develop an awareness of how the language you use is impacting your life.

In This Episode:

01:22 An invitation from me to you to pause and truly check in with yourself and acknowledge how you’re feeling

04:13 THIS is one of the best ways to look at how you currently use language…

06:58 A second way you can learn to acknowledge the language you use

08:32 The third and final way to help you get curious about your language

10:51 These are the patterns we are looking for when doing the exercise I’m teaching you in this episode…

12:57 Discover a big factor in trauma that also contributes to a relapse in anxiety and depression

13:57 It’s normal to have some pronouns and black-and-white thinking in your language, as well as sense of helplessness. Here’s why…

15:02 Could you be more susceptible to going into anxiety or depression? Here’s a powerful way you can tell…

16:27 There is no better and easier access than language. Here’s why…

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair

Come join us in our free Facebook group Your Brain on Trauma, where is a whole community of women just like you who are on this sacred healing journey: https://www.facebook.com/groups/rm4fp/

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I have been on a healing journey for quite a while now, and it is still ongoing. I have a unique way of approaching relational healing and it has come through a lot of trial and error.

Honestly? I’d say it’s been a lot more error than trial.

I love Psychiatry, but it did not teach me all the tools I needed for my healing journey.

I had to find those for myself.

It took me a long time to find the right tools and integrate them in the right way to create the life I have now and to maintain it over a decade, but now it is just who I am.

So how did I do it?

In this episode of Your Brain on Trauma, I’m sharing more about my journey, and how I came to be doing this work in this way.

I’m excited to be sharing some of the pretty and not-so-pretty behind-the-scenes with you, and you’ll hear the intergenerational trauma that has been passed down through my family, and how this trauma stops with me.

Find out more about my passion, mission, and how I want to help people on their own unique, imperfect, ongoing healing journeys.

In This Episode:

03:41 Healing in general involves many things. This is one of them…

04:29 Learn some background context to my journey through life and what I have needed to heal from

13:05 The beliefs instilled in you growing up can have a traumatic effect later on in life. Here’s how this manifested in my own life…

19:58 This is where things started to change for me in my life…

22:34 Find out why I continued to repress my feelings, emotions and who I really was, and the effect of this

27:56 Even after becoming a Psychiatrist, I didn’t know how to be in relationships.

31:24 Your story will be different from mine... we are all different.

32:06 These 3 areas are where the sum of your earlier experiences show up in your life.

34:15 I still get triggered, suspicious, and have a hard time trusting, but this is what’s different now…

35:14 Discover the quickest and most permanent path to healing, growth, and love.

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair

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In traditional therapy, you complain about something to your therapist. She/he supports and validates you and then you both brainstorm for a way to fix the issue. Right? Right. The problem is, another annoying thing happens next week, and then again next month....it's a never-ending cycle. I also use complaints in my work with clients. BUT....we use them to powerfully and FULLY heal, so you never have to suffer with that issue again. Listen in to find out how.

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Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:

Facebook
Facebook Group
LinkedIn
YouTube
Special Offers: Mastery

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Welcome to episode #1 of “Your Brain on Trauma” Podcast! We begin by asking, How do you know if the past is still clouding your thinking?

After all, maybe you’ve done therapy or coaching about past issues. How do we know if it’s complete, or if there are more layers to uncover, and heal?

IMHO, there are 3 telltale signs. Tune in to see if you recognize any of them in your own life.

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy: - https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun (Facebook) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346 (Facebook Group) - https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668 (LinkedIn) - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg (YouTube)

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Welcome to episode #1 of “Your Brain on Trauma” Podcast! We begin by asking, How do you know if the past is still clouding your thinking?

After all, maybe you’ve done therapy or coaching about past issues. How do we know if it’s complete, or if there are more layers to uncover, and heal?

IMHO, there are 3 telltale signs. Tune in to see if you recognize any of them in your own life.

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Life is a series of transformations and becomings. As you become more of who you are, you let go of the parts that are not in alignment with this newer, expanded version of you. So what does that have to do with this week’s podcast? Well, I have a big, juicy, beautiful announcement to make. The podcast is undergoing an upgrade! You heard that right. The podcast is going to experience a directional shift and will become something that is more authentically me. With this change, there will be more power, conviction, and impact for you, and I’m going to accompany you through every transformational shift you make in your life. So what will the new podcast entail? How will this help you? Join me on this journey of a lifetime and learn why there is nothing more important than your legacy, and how my new podcast will embody this belief. Find out more about what you can expect from the new version of the podcast, and the many ways it’s going to help you. In This Episode: 02:01 Find out why as you become more of who you are, you let go of the parts that are not in alignment with this newer version of you. 03:01 A sneak preview of the new podcast upgrade 04:20 I share the impetus for me to take on this healing journey 06:15 Do you ever wonder how your children learn how to do life? 07:43 Exciting news! Here’s what the podcast will soon be called… 09:16 When I say trauma, this is what I mean… 09:49 Discover what complex trauma is 13:32 Find out what contributes to isolation, shame, and a sense of hopelessness 18:21 THIS is what you will get on the other side of doing this work… 20:00 I hope you’re as excited as I am for the future of this podcast. Hear what we’re going to be talking about… Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy: Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course -https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair ( https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair)

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In This Episode: We’ve all experienced feeling frustrated, hurt, irritated, or angry by something that occurs in our day-to-day lives. Maybe it’s someone cutting in front of you in traffic. Maybe it’s your boss rolling their eyes at your suggestion, or your child having ANOTHER tantrum. Whatever it is that triggers you, it is important to deal with those moments in an effective way. So how do we stay calm in situations where we feel triggered and then go on to maintain this sense of calm in our daily lives? In this episode of WISEish, I’m sharing an effective three-step tool you can use right now to start taking care of yourself and apply more calm to your daily life. This tool will not only transform your life but help you show up in an entirely new way of being. In This Episode: 05:00 Hear how, despite all the work I did on myself, I used to still feel triggered and stuck in the same behavior patterns. 05:27 Do you ever feel like you tantrum alongside your child? Here’s what to do… 07:20 THIS is how to deal with the moments that frustrate you… 12:49 Find out the difference between sympathy, empathy, and compassion. 16:32 Three elements to apply to your situation during difficult moments. 23:06 I’m giving you an example of how I apply this work in my own life to help you do the same in yours. 25:13 Some examples of what taking care of yourself might look like. 30:32 Want to know how you actually transform your life? Do this… Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy: Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course -https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair ( https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair)

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A message that was always passed down to me was that money is hard to come by. You have to work yourself to the bone and sacrifice EVERYTHING else in your life – including your closest relationships – in order to succeed. This limiting belief affected me for a long time. But then I learned how to shift it, and everything changed. Last week we talked about limiting beliefs, what they are, where they come from, and how they hold you back. I gave you the foundations of this work because without knowing what your limiting beliefs are, you can’t change them. So, you now know what limiting beliefs are, how do you get rid of them? This week, I’m sharing 3 tools to help you remove limiting beliefs from your subconscious mind. Hear how these 3 tools have helped me get rid of my own limiting beliefs and create the life I wanted, and just how powerful this work will be in helping you make changes in your own life. In This Episode: 01:46 Hear a recap of last week’s episode 02:40 I have recently used this toolkit in my own life. Here’s how… 03:58 Learn one of the biggest limiting beliefs I realized I had and where it came from 07:58 Discover the power of this work and how it can change your life 09:17 Here are the tools to help you start shifting your limiting beliefs Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy: Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course -https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair ( https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair)

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In This Episode: Do you feel stuck in your life? Do you want something else, but for some reason just can’t stop doing what you’ve always done and getting the same old results you’ve always had? You’re not alone, and there is a reason for it: your limiting beliefs could be holding you back. Whether you’re struggling with a goal you’ve set at work, stuck in a job you don’t want to be in, or struggling with something in your parenting or relationships, these subconscious beliefs are guiding everything you do. But if you’re not aware of them, you can’t change them. So how do you find out what your limiting beliefs are and make the changes you want? That’s where I can help! In this episode, I’m sharing what limiting beliefs are and 3 ways to uncover your hidden limiting beliefs so you can go after what you want in life. Hear how I used these 3 tools in my own life to figure out my own limiting beliefs and overcome them to create the life I have now, and why the same is possible for you right now. In This Episode: 03:54 Hear some of the limiting beliefs I had about creating the life I have now 07:05 In any kind of inner transformation work, there is ONE thing that is crucial. Here’s what it is… 08:42 Discover the first tool to help you figure out what your limiting beliefs are 11:00 Are you blaming feeling stuck on the struggles you are facing? 12:16 THIS is the second tool that will help you figure out your limiting beliefs 14:15 Find out how to 10X the power and transformation you get from this episode 14:51 The third tool to figure out your limiting beliefs and how to use it to go beneath the surface of your beliefs 18:32 A recap of the three tools to help you uncover your limiting beliefs Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy: Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course -https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair ( https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair)

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In This Episode: For so long, I didn’t know that those things called triggers existed. I was so fused with thoughts and emotions that I would just react to things, without ever giving them a second thought. It felt like one minute I was happily riding an elephant without a care in the world and then – BAM – just like that, the elephant was overriding me and throwing me off. But then something happened that changed EVERYTHING. I learned to see triggers as gifts. If there’s one thing you need to know about growth, it’s that it isn’t just a passive activity that happens in the background while you do the dishes. It’s an active engagement; something you need to work on continuously. So I began to work on my triggers, and the shifts I had were amazing. In this episode, I’m showing you where triggers come from, how to think about them in a new way, and giving you two simple shifts you can make to start healing from the inside out. Discover the reason you are having huge reactions to things that other people say or do, how to change that, and start handling your relationships and interactions exactly how you want. In This Episode: 02:44 How your triggers can hurt other people 03:13 Triggers are not problems to be gotten rid of 04:11 This simple shift can help you with your triggers 05:16 What my triggers were showing me 07:12 A metaphor to help you think about triggers in a new way 12:00 How to deal with reactivity more effectively 14:22 One thing that is crucial on your healing journey 17:34 Want to learn how to heal from the inside out as quickly as possible? Do this… Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy: Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course -https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair ( https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair)

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So, you gave yourself the pep talk about calmly reacting to difficult people and difficult situations and it worked. PSYCHE. It only lasted a couple of days! No matter the communication tactics, pep talks, or your deep desire, you find yourself overreacting and not being able to control your emotions.

Well, today, I’m going to let you in on a little secret…

…you probably need to heal your “Inner Child”

Heard of them?

Everyone has an inner child that reflects our childhood experiences. This inner child shows up in adulthood as our internal thoughts, emotions, and beliefs or as external behaviors and actions.

In this episode, we will be working on an exercise that only requires imagination and will be a reliable resource in preparing you to start healing that inner child.

The conversation gets tougher, the topics deeper – and as they do, you’ll want to use the 4 resources I share in this episode as a strategy for handling the heavy work of self-healing.

In This Episode:

1:30 Why the Inner Child needs work 5:03 How your brain will use imagination to heal 5:40 Resource # 1 - Find a Safe Space 9:23 Resource # 2 - Who is your Wise Counsel? It can even be Dumbledore. 11:34 Resource # 3 - Who is your Protector? 14:00 Resource # 4 - Who is your Comforter? 15:25 Install vividly these resources within you

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy: Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair (https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair)

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What do you really want in your life? What would you say if I told you that your answer to this question may not be coming from your true, authentic self, but from a socialized pseudo-self? Just because you feel a strong pull towards something, doesn’t mean that it is in alignment with your values and your highest self. In this episode, I’m diving deeper into the concept of the pseudo-self vs the true self, the difference between the two, and showing you how to recognize where these may show up in your life. Hear the fork-in-the-road moment that led me to choose the path of my highest desire instead of listening to my pseudo-self, and why the same is possible for you. If you are trying to make a decision in an area of your life, or you know someone else who is, you don’t want to miss out on this episode. In This Episode: [02:20] Learn one of the ways my past trauma shows up in my current life [4:00] The thing you say you want might not be coming from your true authentic self. Find out where it’s coming from [05:05] This is how the concept of pseudo vs true self has shown up in my own life and influenced the decisions I have made [10:00] I’m sharing what the pseudo-self is for me [14:04] Some questions to ask yourself to see if you are coming from your pseudo or true self [15:28] There are two sacrifices possible when working with your pseudo-self and true self. Here’s what they are… Resource: Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair (https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair)

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Are you using "I statements" as a cheat sheet to dump your feelings on your partner? Having the tool of owning your feelings only works if you use it properly – otherwise, it breaks something. In this episode, I offer a psychological insight for us all to snack on and ask if we are really using the "I statement" appropriately. We will look at how to talk without triggering each other, and the difference between owning your personal feelings effectively and simply using the sht sandwich that can be the "I statement" to project your feelings onto others. This episode also contains the reminder that if you’re not having the goal of connection and greater understanding with your partner, then no amount of "I statements" is going to get you there. Over 90% of communication is non-verbal, so your body language might be saying something completely different too! Please join me, Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy, as we explore healthy ways to get your feelings heard and your needs met. In This Episode: [3:35] What is an "I statement"? [4:42] How to disagree while maintaining a connection [5:32] If you use the tool for the wrong purpose, you break something [6:59] Talking without triggering [7:52] The other side of the sht sandwich [12:11] Focus on the bigger goal of connection, which also means tolerating discomfort Resource: Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair (https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair)

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Should I stay or should I go? This is something I get asked a lot in our Mastery program. Whether you are in a romantic or platonic relationship, I’ve developed five questions to help you decide whether or not a relationship is working for you. I wish someone had taught me to ask myself these questions when I was younger! In this episode, I’ll share with you my insights into the red flags that you need to look out for – as well as how to keep your side of the street clean (spoiler alert: that’s the bonus 6th question). If you are struggling with a relationship, or if you know of someone who is, please listen and share this episode as I believe it may be of great value to them.

In This Episode: (10:35) Is there repetitive secrecy or lying to do with major aspects of your relationship? (13:25) Do I have – or have I ever had – physical attraction to my spouse? (15:40) Am I able to celebrate small and big things with my partner?

Resources: Rapid Relationship Repair FREE Mini-Course - https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair (https://bit.ly/RapidRelationshipRepair)

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Have you felt more comfortable than ever in recent times but still find yourself unhappy? Is your instant gratification laced with a lining of anxiety that pervades your day-to-day? In this episode of Wise-ish, Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy explains why the misuse of dopamine has become the biggest culprit for causing our societal dis-ease. This fascinating insight into how we’ve used dopamine to move towards cooperative living explains the ‘pleasure/pain paradox’ and how we can achieve better equilibrium in our levels of contentment by abstaining from some pleasures and welcoming some pain. “I firmly believe that the people who succeed in the next generation (our children) will be those that learn how to control and manage their attention. That is going to be the currency of the future.” ~ Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy In This Episode: - Understanding dopamine as the molecule of craving - why instant gratification leads to long-term discontentment - Why we need to fight back against this modern health crisis to build better relationships and emotional health - How social media leaks away our capacity for deep thinking - The value of taking your time to master a skill and the importance of ‘plateaus’ - Intermittent fasting and designated tech time as tools you can use to create a better pain/pleasure equilibrium Resources: The book: https://www.amazon.com/Dopamine-Nation-Finding-Balance-Indulgence/dp/152474672X (Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke) The app: https://freedom.to/ (Freedom) Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy: - https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun (Facebook) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346 (Facebook Group) - https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668 (LinkedIn) - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg (YouTube) - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (Special Offers: Mastery)

Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence

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What do you want to be a lifelong student of? Is it a relationship, a craft, a mission project? What are you truly committed to? In this episode of Wise-ish, Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy shares the insights on learning that she gained from reading George Leonard’s book, Mastery. Peppered with her own experience, Kavetha unpacks why taking a lifelong approach to learning will help you to frame purpose and meaning in your life. It’s all about finding beauty and joy in simple processes so that you end up not wanting the process to end. “If you are truly passionate about something and you want to gain some level of mastery in that, your first order of business is to set aside this notion that you’re going to arrive somewhere, and to take on the identity of a lifelong learner.” ~ Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy In This Episode: - There is no such thing as an expert - only those on the path of mastery - The four personality types that reveal the ways in which we learn - Are you the dabbler, the obsessive, the hacker, or the master? - Debunking the cultural myth and messaging that we should be moving from climax to climax - Love the process so much that for every mile that you take towards your goal, you hope that the destination has moved two miles further out - How to welcome plateaus, obstacles, and resistance as opportunities to deepen your learning of the fundamentals of your craft Resources: The book: Mastery by George Leonard Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy: - https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun (Facebook) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346 (Facebook Group) - https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668 (LinkedIn) - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg (YouTube) - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (Special Offers: Mastery)

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Have the past few years been tough on your relationship? Have you found yourself in long, relentless arguments with your partner whereby you can no longer think compassionately? Not to worry, you’re not alone. In this episode, I unpack six of the most common phrases that poison relationships – and explore alternative responses that ultimately cause less hurt. Let us look at what is underneath the hurt and resentment, and explore how our feelings shut down when we become emotionally overwhelmed. “Keep your cool, hold onto your truth, and don’t just take on your partner’s ‘why?’ Stay steady within and think: what does this signify? Gently, lovingly, say: ‘I would love to share ‘why’. Do you have some time? Are you really asking and would you really like to know?’ Then your partner is bound to have a curiosity-based conversation.” ~ Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy In This Episode: - Learn to substitute ‘why?’ for ‘what’, ‘how’, ‘where’, or ‘which’, allowing the other person to share their perspective rather than being shut off - Turn “do you really want to know?” into a matter of curiosity, committing your partner to active listening - “You made me…” – take ownership of your own actions and responses, and live blame-free - The pitfalls of diagnosing gaslighting and narcissism in our relationships - How to buy yourself time so that you’re not forced into an opinion when responding Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy: - https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun (Facebook) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346 (Facebook Group) - https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668 (LinkedIn) - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg (YouTube) - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (Special Offers: Mastery)

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Boundaries are essential to a good relationship. But when you don’t have enough boundaries, or you have very rigid boundaries, your relationships will be damaged. There are several myths around boundaries that hurt relationships, and in this week’s episode, I’m sharing 5 of them with you and showing you how to see where you are perpetuating them in your own relationships. Learn how deconstructing these myths will help you have thriving, connected relationships, and how to overcome them to create a framework to protect and nourish your relationships instead of hurting them. Are you ready to set and maintain loving boundaries in your relationships? Join my free 5-day Boundaries challenge inside the Facebook group, where you’ll see amazing transformations from people who are already doing this work.https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346 ( Click here) to join and sign up for the challenge! “Boundaries are for other people, but they are also for you. You need to set boundaries for yourself so that you stay in your own lane.” Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy

In This Episode: - Discover the problem with not knowing how to communicate your boundaries in your relationships. - There are two types of boundaries that damage relationships. Here’s what they are… - I share a sure-fire way to start the decline of a relationship. - Find out how I overcame these 5 myths in order to create the boundaries that have led to flourishing relationships in my life. - Learn how we often think we can’t help our behaviors, but why that’s not true. Resources: https://kavethais.clickfunnels.com/sales-page1655829673585?fbclid=IwAR30Ygdg1bAExChyDEQ17J_yIAABqT7PwRCsLoDXZ2BT6PImOKmZIH6pGZQ (Mastery Program) https://www.amazon.com/Grit-Passion-Perseverance-Angela-Duckworth/dp/1501111108 (Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance) by Angela Duckworth

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy: https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun (Facebook) https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346 (Facebook Group) https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668 (LinkedIn) https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg (YouTube) https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (Special Offers: Mastery)

Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

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We’re all attached to something or someone. But, how do we tell if this attachment is healthy or on the borderline of being clingy? Join me in this episode of WISEish as I delve deeper into this topic. I will share how secure attachment differs from insecure attachment, and what could happen if insecure attachment is carried on to adulthood. Find out how learning about your attachment style impacts your marriage and your relationships. Mastery is open for enrollment!

Mastery is our monthly membership program, where we take the tools I teach and help you apply them to your life.

Because you cannot learn to ride a bike by listening to a podcast or reading a book. You need to get on the bike and have a mentor help you master the skill in real-time.

That’s what we do in Mastery.

If you are ready to confidently build a life you love, I invite you to come to join us! You can join month to month --> HERE: https://buy.stripe.com/4gw28i20h9WocA8bIS (https://buy.stripe.com/4gw28i20h9WocA8bIS) or annual option (save $500) --> HERE: https://buy.stripe.com/eVa6oy8oF2tWbw4bIT (https://buy.stripe.com/eVa6oy8oF2tWbw4bIT)

“How you remember and describe your childhood has a correlation with how you will have an attachment with your children, even when you are pregnant and the child has not come out yet.” - Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy

In This Episode: - Compare the attachment styles of children versus adult romantic relationships - Recognize the 3 aspects of insecure attachment - Here are the 5 skill sets that summarize a secure attachment - Identify the relationship between your childhood and your adulthood attachment style - Learn how you can transition from insecure to secure attachment

Resources: Mastery Program QUIZ to understand your attachment style: https://www.attachedthebook.com/wordpress/compatibility-quiz/ (https://www.attachedthebook.com/wordpress/compatibility-quiz/) The book "Attached": https://www.amazon.com/Attached-Science-Adult-Attachment-YouFind/dp/1585429139/ref (https://www.amazon.com/Attached-Science-Adult-Attachment-YouFind/dp/1585429139/ref)=tmm_pap_title_0

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy: Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun (https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun) Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346 (https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346) LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668 (https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668) YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg) Special Offers: Mastery - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help YouFind?and Keep?Love

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Learning how to change your core beliefs and identity is the key to unlocking everything that you want in your life. You can become whoever you want, no matter what habits, relationships, or behavioral patterns you developed over time. By shifting your “thermostat” you will find yourself achieving emotional freedom without having to work so hard at it.

Enter the Podcast Giveaway… everyone's a winner!!!

To enter, all you have to do is follow the show, listen to an episode (or 2), take a screenshot of your favorite episode and leave it as a comment on my Facebook post https://www.facebook.com/1264591517/videos/454977762771050/ (https://www.facebook.com/1264591517/videos/454977762771050/). That’s it!

⭐️ One Grand Prize winner will receive a 1:1 call with me ($1,000 value) ⭐️ 3 Runner Ups will receive the “Marriage Communication Magic” Course ($297 value) ⭐️ And everyone who enters will receive an audiobook bundle of my favorite books.

In this episode:

What is the seven layers of Emotional Freedom Formula
The first layer - Neutral Fact
The second layer - Your identity and core beliefs
The third layer - Thoughts
The fourth to the seventh layers - Feelings, Action, Results and Confirming your core beliefs and your identity

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy: Website - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate) Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun (https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun) Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346 (https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346) LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668 (https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668) YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg)

Mastery is open for enrollment!

Mastery is our monthly membership program, where we take the tools I teach and help you apply it to your life.

Because you cannot learn to ride a bike by listening to a podcast or reading a book. You need to get on the bike and have a mentor help you master the skill in real time.

That’s what we do in Mastery.

If you are ready to confidently build a life you love, I invite you to come join us! You can join month to month --> HERE: https://buy.stripe.com/4gw28i20h9WocA8bIS (https://buy.stripe.com/4gw28i20h9WocA8bIS) or annual option (save $500) --> HERE: https://buy.stripe.com/eVa6oy8oF2tWbw4bIT (https://buy.stripe.com/eVa6oy8oF2tWbw4bIT)

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What is the correct way to raise a child? It looks different for everyone, but in today’s episode, I am going to explain how to set your child up for success in the future. Parenting is a controversial topic with many mixed opinions, but one thing we can all agree on, we want to prepare our children for the real world so that they can make it on their own. Join me as I take you through the steps of secure attachment and why it’s so important. Mastery is open for enrollment!

Mastery is our monthly membership program, where we take the tools I teach and help you apply it to your life.

Because you cannot learn to ride a bike by listening to a podcast or reading a book. You need to get on the bike and have a mentor help you master the skill in real time.

That’s what we do in Mastery.

If you are ready to confidently build a life you love, I invite you to come join us!

You can join month to month -- HERE: https://buy.stripe.com/4gw28i20h9WocA8bIS (https://buy.stripe.com/4gw28i20h9WocA8bIS)

or annual option (save $500) -- HERE: https://buy.stripe.com/eVa6oy8oF2tWbw4bIT (https://buy.stripe.com/eVa6oy8oF2tWbw4bIT)

“It is always helpful to express your anger, but reaction is not a mature expression of our anger.” - Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy

In This Episode: - What is secure attachment and why is it so important for children? - Why do children need a safe home space to return to every night? - Here are the 4 S’s of secure attachment. - How will secure attachment help you in your romantic relationship?

Resources: Mastery Program: https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)

Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy: Website - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate) Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun (https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun) Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346 (https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346) LinkedIn- https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668 (https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668) Special Offers: Mastery - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)

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We have all been in difficult situations, what differentiates us is how we deal with them. In today’s episode, I will explain the 3 ways we immaturely deal with feelings, and how to fix this. Typically, as humans, we believe we either have to swallow our emotions or blurt them out, but this is not the answer. Listen as I explain why you should be processing and spending time with your emotions before reacting to them immaturely.Mastery is open for enrollment!Mastery is our monthly membership program, where we take the tools I teach and help you apply it to your life.Because you cannot learn to ride a bike by listening to a podcast or reading a book. You need to get on the bike and have a mentor help you master the skill in real-time.That’s what we do in Mastery.If you are ready to confidently build a life you love, I invite you to come join us!You can join month to month --> HERE: https://buy.stripe.com/4gw28i20h9WocA8bIS (https://buy.stripe.com/4gw28i20h9WocA8bIS)or annual option (save $500) --> HERE: https://buy.stripe.com/eVa6oy8oF2tWbw4bIT (https://buy.stripe.com/eVa6oy8oF2tWbw4bIT) “It is always helpful to express your anger, but reaction is not a mature expression of our anger.” - Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy In This Episode:- How emotional immaturity is like holding a beach ball underwater- Why do people overwork themselves rather than dealing with their feelings- Distractions can be helpful in the short-term, but hurtful in the long-term- What is the difference between emotions and feelingsResources:Mastery Program - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:Website - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun (https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun)Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346 (https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346)LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668 (https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668)YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg)Special Offers: Mastery - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)

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Bad communication equals bad relationships. Today, we’re learning the importance of communication and my framework for the best communication skills. One of the basic needs of any human being is to feel understood, and when they do, you will know. It’s reassuring to know that you’re not alone in any situation, so help others feel that. Tune in today as I explain the 4 C’s of communication, how to use them, and understand them.Mastery is open for enrollment!Mastery is our monthly membership program, where we take the tools I teach and help you apply it to your life.Because you cannot learn to ride a bike by listening to a podcast or reading a book. You need to get on the bike and have a mentor help you master the skill in real-time.That’s what we do in Mastery.If you are ready to confidently build a life you love, I invite you to come join us!You can join month to month --> HERE: https://buy.stripe.com/4gw28i20h9WocA8bIS (https://buy.stripe.com/4gw28i20h9WocA8bIS)or annual option (save $500) --> HERE: https://buy.stripe.com/eVa6oy8oF2tWbw4bIT (https://buy.stripe.com/eVa6oy8oF2tWbw4bIT) “Anything worth doing in this world is going to require cooperating with other human beings.” - Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy In This Episode:- How I learned to communicate at a young age- Why you should think about improving the relationship after every conversation- How do you make someone feel understood- Here’s how to reach new solutions in conversations- How to come up with new solutions that will workResources:- Mastery Program - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:Website - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun (https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun)Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346 (https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346)LinkedIn- https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668 (https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668)YouTube- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg)Special Offers: Mastery - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)

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By the time we turn 30, we have all experienced some trauma in our life. The question is, have you healed from that trauma? In today’s episode, I will explain how trauma has affected my life and how it affects yours too. Although it appears you have worked on your trauma from the outside, you need to look at yourself from the inside and understand that is where the healing process begins.Join me today as I walk you through the signs of your hidden trauma and how to start healing.Mastery is open for enrollment!Mastery is our monthly membership program, where we take the tools I teach and help you apply it to your life.Because you cannot learn to ride a bike by listening to a podcast or reading a book. You need to get on the bike and have a mentor help you master the skill in real-time.That’s what we do in Mastery.If you are ready to confidently build a life you love, I invite you to come join us!You can join month to month-- HERE: https://buy.stripe.com/4gw28i20h9WocA8bIS (https://buy.stripe.com/4gw28i20h9WocA8bIS)or annual option (save $500) -- HERE: https://buy.stripe.com/eVa6oy8oF2tWbw4bIT (https://buy.stripe.com/eVa6oy8oF2tWbw4bIT) “When we’re not sure we can tolerate emotions, we won’t even try to heal.” - Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy In This Episode:- Here are the 3 ways trauma can show up in your life: mind, body, and behavior.- What to look for in people who have trouble releasing the trauma they experienced.- How I define the presence of trauma in my life"- Why you need a psychologically safe space before you can start healing?- Why do you recreate your trauma in every aspect of your lifeResources:Mastery Program: https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate) Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:Website - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun (https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun)Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346 (https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346)LinkedIn- https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668 (https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668)Special Offers: Mastery - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)

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Stress is normal! And, it’s not always bad. Welcome to another episode of WISEish, today we’re talking about what causes stress and how to deal with it. As humans, we don’t encounter life or death situations daily, meaning our chronic stress is low grade and under the surface. Tune in to learn why low-grade stressors lead to chronic stress and how to reduce it.Mastery is open for enrollment!Mastery is our monthly membership program, where we take the tools I teach and help you apply it to your life.Because you cannot learn to ride a bike by listening to a podcast or reading a book. You need to get on the bike and have a mentor help you master the skill in real-time.That’s what we do in Mastery.If you are ready to confidently build a life you love, I invite you to come join us!You can join month to month-- HERE: https://buy.stripe.com/4gw28i20h9WocA8bIS (https://buy.stripe.com/4gw28i20h9WocA8bIS)or annual option (save $500) -- HERE: https://buy.stripe.com/eVa6oy8oF2tWbw4bIT (https://buy.stripe.com/eVa6oy8oF2tWbw4bIT) “If you are a living being, you are always going to experience some amount of stress.” - Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy In This Episode:- How chronic stress can damage your physical and mental health?- Why animals in the wild don’t have chronic stress?- Here’s my framework to reduce stress in real-time.- What is the physiological sigh?- How to do the physiological sigh to reduce your perception of stress?Resources:Mastery Program: https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:Website - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun (https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun)Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346 (https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346)LinkedIn- https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668 (https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668)Special Offers: Mastery - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)

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Do you tend to argue about the same stuff over and over again? I know how frustrating that is, because I struggled with it too. And when those topics come up, it often leads to circular arguments and hurt feelings.In today’s episode, I will show you a NEW way to approach these conversations. This is an excerpt from a talk I gave recently to a group of several thousand women physicians. If you apply these 3 tools, I guarantee there will be a big SHIFT in the conversation….…AND in the relationship as a whole.Take notes, and then go try it out!Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:Website - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun (https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun)Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346 (https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346)LinkedIn- https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668 (https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668)YouTube- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg)Special Offers: Mastery - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)

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Welcome to Episode 12! What do people-pleasing, social anxiety, self-doubt, perfectionism, imposter syndrome, rumination, procrastination, and fear all have in common? They stem from lack of confidence in yourself.Confidence is an essential skill to master if we want to live a meaningful life and do things that matter. In today’s episode, I share the 4 types of confidence, and how to develop each one. This framework has changed my life, and 10Xed my confidence in the last few years.It will do the same for you if you apply it. P.S: [ANNOUNCEMENT] Mastery is open for enrollment!Mastery is our monthly membership program, where we take the tools I teach and help you apply it to your life. Because you cannot learn to ride a bike by listening to a podcast or reading a book. You need to get on the bike and have a mentor help you master the skill in real time. That’s what we do in Mastery.If you are ready to confidently build a life you love, I invite you to come join us!You can join month to month --> HERE: https://buy.stripe.com/4gw28i20h9WocA8bIS (https://buy.stripe.com/4gw28i20h9WocA8bIS)or annual option (save $500) --> HERE: https://buy.stripe.com/eVa6oy8oF2tWbw4bIT (https://buy.stripe.com/eVa6oy8oF2tWbw4bIT)P.S: Bonus LIVE workshop!Brand new to our programs? Join by July 18th, and get a free ticket to our LIVE “Upgrade Your Identity” workshop (July 19-23) as a welcome gift! [Limited spots]Hope to see you on the inside.Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:Website - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun (https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun)Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346 (https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346)LinkedIn- https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668 (https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668)YouTube- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg)Special Offers: Mastery - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)

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Welcome to Episode 11! Huge announcement - Mastery program is now open!Mastery is our monthly membership program, and it’s THE best place on the planet to help you accomplish 3 things:1. Master your emotions, 2. Heal your relationships, and3. Pass on a legacy you are proud of.In today’s episode, I will give you a sneak peek into all the tools inside Mastery, plus how we surround our students with support, resources, coaching and fun.If this work calls to you, I invite you to come join us and create a life you love!You can join month to month --> HERE: https://buy.stripe.com/4gw28i20h9WocA8bIS (https://buy.stripe.com/4gw28i20h9WocA8bIS)or annual option (save $500) --> HERE: https://buy.stripe.com/eVa6oy8oF2tWbw4bIT (https://buy.stripe.com/eVa6oy8oF2tWbw4bIT)P.S: Bonus LIVE workshop!Brand new to our programs? Join by July 18th, and get a free ticket to our LIVE “Upgrade Your Identity” workshop (July 19-23) as a welcome gift!You can join month to month --> HERE: https://buy.stripe.com/4gw28i20h9WocA8bIS (https://buy.stripe.com/4gw28i20h9WocA8bIS)or annual option (save $500) --> HERE: https://buy.stripe.com/eVa6oy8oF2tWbw4bIT (https://buy.stripe.com/eVa6oy8oF2tWbw4bIT) BE THE CHANGE.Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:Website - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun (https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun)Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346 (https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346)LinkedIn- https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668 (https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668)YouTube- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg)Special Offers: Mastery - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)

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Welcome to Episode 10! WISE-ish is growing up! We are so grateful for your support on this journey. Today, we look at the top 5 lessons from Viktor Frankl, who was an Austrian neurologist, psychiatrist, philosopher, writer, and Holocaust survivor.His writings and the model of therapy he created, called Logotherapy, have deeply influenced my life. I am certain that if you take the time to ponder on the 5 concepts I share in this episode, your life too will be made richer, wiser, and more meaningful. Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:Website - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun (https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun)Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346 (https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346)LinkedIn- https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668 (https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668)YouTube- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg)Special Offers: Mastery - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)

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The things (people, memories or events) that trigger you are merely messengers. And they come bearing a gift. The gift is the potential to heal past wounds. In today’s podcast, I share the 3 ways we block healing when we are triggered, and step-by-step process to using triggers as the gifts they are intended to be. This is one you don’t want to miss. Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:Website - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun (https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun)Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346 (https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346)LinkedIn- https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668 (https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668)YouTube- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg)Special Offers: Mastery - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)

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What do we do when people hurt our feelings? Or when things don’t go as planned? Or when we try hard and still fail? Or when we had trauma in our past and those memories and thoughts keep coming up in our current lives? In short, how do we not suffer so much? THAT is the topic of today’s episode.I will show you the ONE natural law that if we ignore or violate, will cause suffering for you and everyone around you.And finally, I reveal my 3 step process to get to emotional freedom and clarity, so you can rise above anything that happens, and act from your wise “driver” self.Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:Website - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun (https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun)Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346 (https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346)LinkedIn- https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668 (https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668)YouTube- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg)Special Offers: Mastery - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)

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Every day, we are faced with hundreds of decisions. Starting from what to do when the alarm goes off, to how much sugar to add to our morning coffee, the list is endless.Most of the time, what we decide doesn’t matter all that much because the consequences aren't life changing. But what if you are deciding whether to move, or take that job, or leave that relationship, or have that child, some decisions like these CAN indeed be life altering.[Sometimes, we are so scared of the potential consequences that we just stay paralyzed, which itself becomes a decision.] What if we had a framework for making decisions that we KNEW were right, and we could stand by no matter the consequences? What if you felt proud of every decision you make going forward? This is the goal of today’s episode. Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:Website - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun (https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun)Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346 (https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346)LinkedIn- https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668 (https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668)YouTube- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg)Special Offers: Mastery - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)

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Have you heard of the psychological hack called “Inversion Thinking”?It’s one of the best ways to make sure you get the result that you want, in any area of your life.In today’s episode, we will learn how to use inversion thinking to live the most joyful, wise and fulfilled life you can……by studying the 6 ways you can make your life more miserable!That’s right. Once you know these 6 steps to add more suffering in your life,All you have to do is REVERSE them, and you will have the formula for living The Good Life.Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:Website - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun (https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun)Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346 (https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346)LinkedIn- https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668 (https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668)YouTube- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg)Special Offers: Mastery - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)

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Welcome to step 5 in getting unstuck!Today, we bring it all together my friend. We’re gonna pick an issue you feel stuck in, and I will show you how to use all 5 tools together so you can “Get Unstuck” for good.Ready for emotional freedom? Come on in!Ready to take it to the next step and APPLY this to your own life? Click here to download a FREE PDF that will walk you through the 5 steps to getting unstuck today! --> https://drkavetha.com/freepdf4sdag2ou (https://drkavetha.com/freepdf4sdag2ou)Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:Website - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun (https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun)Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346 (https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346)LinkedIn- https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668 (https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668)YouTube- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg)Special Offers: Mastery - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)

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Welcome to step 4 in getting unstuck!So, in step 3 you learned how to drive a school bus. Good for you! But what if the kids in the bus are loud, angry, crying or demanding?This tool will instantly give you a way to manage them safely, calmly and compassionately. Ready? Let’s GO!Ready to take it to the next step and APPLY this to your own life? Click here to download a FREE PDF that will walk you through the 5 steps to getting unstuck today! --> https://drkavetha.com/freepdf4sdag2ou (https://drkavetha.com/freepdf4sdag2ou)Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:Website - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun (https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun)Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346 (https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346)LinkedIn- https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668 (https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668)YouTube- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg)Special Offers: Mastery - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)

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Welcome to step 3 in getting unstuck! When I teach our clients step 1 and 2, the next question they often ask, “So how do I stay connected with who I really am?”If you are thinking that too, this episode is for you. Let me introduce you to the school bus between your ears.Confused? Bear with me. It will make complete sense when you listen to this episode. And it will become your favorite mindset tool.Ready to take it to the next step and APPLY this to your own life? Click here to download a FREE PDF that will walk you through the 5 steps to getting unstuck today! --> https://drkavetha.com/freepdf4sdag2ou (https://drkavetha.com/freepdf4sdag2ou)Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:Website - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun (https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun)Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346 (https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346)LinkedIn- https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668 (https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668)YouTube- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg)Special Offers: Mastery - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)

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Welcome to step 2 in getting unstuck!Today, we will do a little experiment together that will show you in real time that you are not your thoughts and feelings. It will be a powerful experience, because once you have seen that with your own direct experience, you cannot un-see it.So if we know we are not our thoughts and feelings, who are we?The answer to this question will likely surprise and delight you. Let’s get started!Ready to take it to the next step and APPLY this to your own life? Click here to download a FREE PDF that will walk you through the 5 steps to getting unstuck today! --> https://drkavetha.com/freepdf4sdag2ou (https://drkavetha.com/freepdf4sdag2ou)

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Hi everyone! Welcome to WISEish.Our first topic is about the 5 steps to getting unstuck, from ANYTHING.Maybe right now you feel stuck in your relationships, or work, or your fitness…..whatever it may be, if you listen and apply what I share with you over the next 5 days, you will have a breakthrough. I promise.Shall we dive in? Today, we are going to uncover how the human brain works, and why it acts like quicksand at times, sucking us deeper and deeper into loops of suffering. Once you truly understand this, you will begin to see the way forward.Ready to take it to the next step and APPLY this to your own life? Click here to download a FREE PDF that will walk you through the 5 steps to getting unstuck today! --> https://drkavetha.com/freepdf4sdag2ou (https://drkavetha.com/freepdf4sdag2ou)Connect with Dr. Kavetha Sundaramoorthy:Website - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)Facebook- https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun (https://www.facebook.com/DrKavethaSun)Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346 (https://www.facebook.com/groups/916708345155346)LinkedIn- https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668 (https://www.linkedin.com/in/kavetha-sundaramoorthy-2b260668)YouTube- https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0AKDNQHccT3KoenqbjBcbg)Special Offers: Mastery - https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate (https://bit.ly/MastersOfFate)

Heal Your Relationships: Recent Episodes

Kavetha Sundaramoorthy

1: Ready to master your triggers & communicate your needs so you can feel confident, trusting, and secure in your relationships? Check out our monthly membership community --> SECURE Love Lab™ at https://www.skool.com/securerlovelab/about

2: Have you seen my YouTube Channel? I'm putting a lot of energy into creating valuable content that you won't find anywhere else. Come check out my latest stuff, and give me a like and subscribe. -> https://bit.ly/DrKavethaSunYouTubeChannel