The Vicious Virgos: Recent Episodes

Ilana & Jacquelin

Hey Woo Woo Crew! Welcome to The Vicious Virgos. This isn't your average astrology podcast. Sassy, unfiltered, and filled with lots of newbie material. Every week, hosts Ilana and Jacquelin give you the 411 on all things astrology. Tune in for lots of laughs, drama, and of course, some much-needed cosmic advice. The astrological big sisters you never knew you needed 💖

It’s Pisces Szn! ♓

You’re ruled by Neptune, God of the Sea - the planet that governs creativity, dreams… and of course illusions and escapism. It’s the planet of inspiration, psychic receptivity, spirituality and all things subtle. This planet urges to excel and exceed boundaries, rejecting any and all limitations.

This water signis deeply emotional, empathic, curious and curious. Known for their creativity, they’re often labeled as being a dreamer or flighty. Yes, they have trouble showing up on time, but they swear they have a good reason for it!

Listen now 🎧

Check out our new book of astrology: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/706847/the-just-girl-project-book-of-astrology-by-harkavy-ilana/

Don't forget to follow us on our socials: www.instagram.com/theviciousvirgos www.tiktok.com/@theviciousvirgos

It’s Aquarius Szn! ♒️ You’re ruled by Uranus- Innovative, unpredictable, resourceful, imaginative, idiosyncratic and experimental. Uranus rules creativity and scientific genius. This planet's job is to break rules and demolish established patterns or structures, creating sudden-even radical-change.

This air sign is eccentric, intellectual, futuristic, the humanitarian. Known for their independence, they don't like to be told what to do. Yes they are social, but they won't socialize unless they want to. Aqua are idea people, and they're always inspired!

Check out our new book of astrology: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/706847/the-just-girl-project-book-of-astrology-by-harkavy-ilana/

Don't forget to follow us on our socials: www.instagram.com/theviciousvirgos www.tiktok.com/@theviciousvirgos

OMG - we’re having a quarter life crisis 🎤 JK - but also, pretty fucking cool that we’ve completed half a year already. So what better way to celebrate than with a “mini” roast. Ehhh - but is it actually just some much needed calling out + advice from your favorite know-it-alls. Tips for listening this week: Get ready to take notes Maybe find something to hold while you cry Be prepared to feel seen AF 👀 But seriously, we love you and we’re hopeful you get some good nuggets out of this - if not for yourself, to project onto someone else 🤣

Check out our new book of astrology: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/706847/the-just-girl-project-book-of-astrology-by-harkavy-ilana/

Don't forget to follow us on our socials: www.instagram.com/theviciousvirgos www.tiktok.com/@theviciousvirgos

Happy new year Woo Woo Crew! Jack & Ilana are still enjoying a sweet Winter vacay, so we're re-releasing one of their faves from 2022! Don't worry, they'll be right back at it next week <3

Let's talk about sex baby 🍆 We're getting down & dirty, giving you what you allll want: it's time to learn the sexual secrets of the signs. What are they like in bed? What gets their engines running? Let's take a trip to pound town. We're here to help you shag life to the fullest.

Check out our new book of astrology: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/706847/the-just-girl-project-book-of-astrology-by-harkavy-ilana/ Don't forget to follow us on our socials: www.instagram.com/theviciousvirgos www.tiktok.com/@theviciousvirgos

It’s the holiday szn y’all - and Ilana and I decided to take just a LITTLE bit of a break from recording. But don’t worry - we’ll be back with some new shit rolling into 2023. Let us BREATHE for a minute! 😘So what’s that mean?Well - for all our new listeners out there, we’re pulling an episode out from the vault. This was our top listened to episode of 2022 and for good reason. There’s some REALLY outdated info in here though - cause it’s been a year since ilana had her surgery, and well.. Yeah.Also, the chemistry is 🔥this episode. Do you think it was:1️⃣ Cause Collin kept refilling Jack’s bourbon2️⃣ Ilana was loopy post-surg3️⃣ We recorded in candlelight in a bedroom4️⃣ It was our first time recording together in weeks and we MISSED it.Check out our new book of astrology: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/706847/the-just-girl-project-book-of-astrology-by-harkavy-ilana/Don't forget to follow us on our socials: www.instagram.com/theviciousvirgos www.tiktok.com/@theviciousvirgos

It’s Capricorn Szn! ♑ You’re ruled by Saturn (which is why we call Saturn, Daddy) - the planet of wisdom, discipline… and our favorite, karma. It’s all about long term planning, being responsible - you know, sometimes Saturn just has to ground you (we mean that in the teenager sense when our parents would ground us, btw)

This earth sign gets a lot of flack for being such a workaholic, know-it-all, ungrateful and tbh… a little greedy. But they’re called the 🐐 for a reason, so maybe we’re all just jealous?

Learn about all things Capricorn: traits, relationships, compatibility, and more… and don’t forget, if you have any Cap placements in your chart, this one’s for you too 😘

Check out our new book of astrology: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/706847/the-just-girl-project-book-of-astrology-by-harkavy-ilana/

Don't forget to follow us on our socials: www.instagram.com/theviciousvirgos www.tiktok.com/@theviciousvirgos

Have you ever looked at your S.O. and thought, “why are you the way that you are?” 👀 Oh wait, that’s just a tiktok trend….

Sometimes people (us included), don’t always identify with their zodiac (aka: sun) sign, so we have to take a peak at our chart and look a little deeper. Truth be told, your natal chart, which is the snapshot of the sky at the moment you were born - has a LOT more information available to us than we’re probably using.

For us, one of the most important placements to look at, is your moon 🌜Especially when it comes to your emotional connections. Because in our HONEST opinion - the moon sign is just as important as the sun. When you understand the moon, and of course - compare it to your current, potential, or shit - your PAST partner - then you’re able to get a better sense of your emotional connection and compatibility.

… and let’s be honest, we’re ALL into knowing compatibility.

Check out our new book of astrology: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/706847/the-just-girl-project-book-of-astrology-by-harkavy-ilana/

Don't forget to follow us on our socials: www.instagram.com/theviciousvirgos www.tiktok.com/@theviciousvirgos

You asked for it 😉So… food and astrology have basically been linked since the dawn of time - seriously, think about it… why else is our dear Virgo called the crop circle superstar (but also the Harvest Goddess)? All of these ancient cultures grew their crops by tracking the celestial cycles ⭐So what’d we learn? That food astrology is actually a BRANCH of astrology – turns out this shit is apparently 100% accurate, so you should absolutely believe everything we’re about to tell you and base your entire diet, AKA: your life, around it.Think about it - if astrologers believe that your diet has the potential to change your destiny, then why the hell wouldn’t you believe us? Find out what you should eat to harness your cosmic powers! Listen Now.Check out our new book of astrology: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/706847/the-just-girl-project-book-of-astrology-by-harkavy-ilana/ Don't forget to follow us on our socials: www.instagram.com/theviciousvirgos www.tiktok.com/@theviciousvirgos

Oh, hey babes 👋 Got holiday plans? Pulling your hair out trying to find the PERFECT gift for your friends, family, or your boo? We’ve gotchu 😉

Let’s set one thing straight. This is NOT your typical, “15 gifts PERFECT for an Aries,” style of podcast. We’re getting deeper and 💯 recommend you bring up your chart for this one.

Ruling planets matter. What’s in your 2nd house matters (possessions people!). Ok, ok… and maybe we did dabble a little in the whole “if you’re a fire sign, you’ll love gifts like this…” But for the most part, you’re going to need to do some astro-math on this one.

Check out our new book of astrology: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/706847/the-just-girl-project-book-of-astrology-by-harkavy-ilana/ Don't forget to follow us on our socials: www.instagram.com/theviciousvirgos www.tiktok.com/@theviciousvirgos

It’s Sagittarius Szn! ♐ You’re ruled by Jupiter - the planet of expansion, growth, abundance and good fortune. Hell, Jupiter is named after “King of the God” in Roman Mythology - so it’s fair to say, you’ve got it pretty good.

This fire sign gets a lot of shit for their wanderlust, but the reality is - we’re all just jealous of their truth-seeking lifestyle. I mean, is this why they’re so happy?

Learn about all things Sagittarius: traits, relationships, compatibility, and more… and don’t forget, if you have any Sag placements in your chart, this one’s for you too 😘

Listen now with 🔗in bio.

Check out our new book of astrology: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/706847/the-just-girl-project-book-of-astrology-by-harkavy-ilana/ Don't forget to follow us on our socials: www.instagram.com/theviciousvirgos www.tiktok.com/@theviciousvirgos

We don’t know about you, but eclipse szn had us thinking🤔 Mostly about how Jack royally F’d up with leaving her crystals on her window sill and has effectively absorbed some serious chaotic energy. But more than that, what even ARE the lunar phases and why do they matter? So there’s a total of 8 different lunar phases: 🌑 New Moon 🌒 Waxing Crescent 🌓 First Quarter 🌔 Waxing Gibbous 🌕 Full Moon 🌖 Waning Gibbous 🌗 Third Quarter 🌘 Waning Crescent Our newest episode has us talking what these phases mean, how your specific natal chart reflects it, and what the hell a moon circle is. Check out our new book of astrology: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/706847/the-just-girl-project-book-of-astrology-by-harkavy-ilana/ Don't forget to follow us on our socials: www.instagram.com/theviciousvirgos www.tiktok.com/@theviciousvirgos

Call it a cosmic cluster F - Stelliums ⭐ You’ve heard of it, you know it has something to do with 3️⃣signs or houses, but you’re still not 100 sold on what it actually means and how it affects you. Stelliums push us toward a type of mastery through repeated trial and error. Depending on where you have it, this will change the theme for what you need to learn and how strong these features show up for you in your personality. Some food for thought on this episode as well. If you don’t identify with your sun sign, take a deeper look at your chart - it’s likely you’ve got a Stellium 😘 Don't forget to follow us on our socials: www.instagram.com/theviciousvirgos www.tiktok.com/@theviciousvirgos

It’s finally here 😱

Have you ever met someone SO different than you, then discovered that you share the same zodiac sign? Well, unless you’ve listened to our podcast, you probably think astrology is crap and you’ve lost all faith.

But there’s a reason not all signs are created equal. There’s more to your astrological identity than your Zodiac sign…obviously.

You’ve all been asking so we’re delivering. It’s time to talk BIG THREE aka the most important parts of your chart -- the Sun, Moon, and Rising Sign. These three massive astrological components shape who you are and influence your personality and life path, so yah, they’re kind of a big deal…

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True Crime or Serial Killers? 🤔Let’s be honest - this episode is definitely more about murder, cause everyone wants to know if they’re dating someone who will eventually kill them.

Right? No? Just us 😳Maybe we’ve been going to bed too often with Criminal Minds playing in the background… whoops.

In typical Vicious Virgos fashion - we’re dissecting (yes, we HAD to use that specific word for today’s ep) how the stars dictate not just WHO is obsessed with this shit, but why the hell the most notorious Serial Killers have the SAME 4 zodiac signs..

And of course - how do you spot one of these psychos? Cause at the end of the day… all we really want to know is… Are you dating a Serial Killer? Don't forget to follow us on our socials: www.instagram.com/theviciousvirgos www.tiktok.com/@theviciousvirgos

It's Scorpio Szn! ♏ Time to talk about the ruler of Sex, Death, and the Underworld - the smoldering Scorpio One of Jacks favorite signs, of course 🙄

This water sign is one of the most misunderstood in the zodiac, with incredible passion and power and strength from the psychic, emotional realm.

Learn about all things Scorpio: traits, relationships, compatibility, and more…and don't forget to tap into your naughty side while you're listening. After all, it's Scorpio season 😉

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Time to get a little woo-woo for a sec✨ We're talking about mental health because we all need it RN, let's be honest. What do you fear? What makes you anxious? How do you overcome it? And what's the deal with trauma?! Yah today's episode is heavy but we've been feeling it lately so we thought we'd bring you a little support 💜 Listen now.

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It’s Libra Szn lovers! We love our Libras, but damn are they hard to read. They’re charming AF, gorgeous, and have such a perfectly curated aesthetic… and personality - it’s like, HOW did you get to be this way The biggest flirt in any room, but don’t hate them for it - just wish you were better. Regardless of their self-indulgent ways, they still manage to... You guessed it - find balance to EVERYTHING Learn about all things Libra: traits, relationships, compatibility, and more…and don't forget to tap into your inner bad-bitch & refresh that fall wardrobe while you're listening. After all, it's Libra season Listen now. Don't forget to follow us on our socials: www.instagram.com/theviciousvirgos www.tiktok.com/@theviciousvirgos

Y’all have just been absolutely AMAZING the last few weeks - but we’d expect nothing less from our #woowoocrew. We’re releasing 2 episodes this week, so be ready. We’ve been navigating a sh*t storm since the end of August, and it was WAY too heavy for us to do our usual life-updates that we attach onto the beginning of our episodes - so we actually recorded an ENTIRE other episode explaining where TF we’ve been. It’s heavy - like, really heavy. But that’s REAL life. This is a shorter episode, but it's packed with info. Keep an eye out for our next episode later this week and as always, Stay Vicious! Don't forget to follow us on our socials: www.instagram.com/theviciousvirgos www.tiktok.com/@theviciousvirgos

Ok, these retrogrades are getting serious! We are currently in not 1, not 2...but 5 retrogrades at once! And so, Ilana & Jacquelin are still unable to get together for an "official" recording. Luckily Jack gave a quick update, before the re-airing of Mercury, The Communicator. Don't worry, all will be well next week. Listen now!

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Mercury's back in Retrograde. And in true Astro-fashion, Jack & Ilana are both under the weather and unable to record this week. So we're playing an oldie! Time to go back to a previous Mercury in Retrograde so you can catch up on anything you may have missed and make sure you're ready for this one.

Basically, Ilana + Jack got into a huge f*cking fight, but don’t worry - they fixed it and they DEFINITELY made sure to bring it up this episode - because.. It’s that time of year again 🤦🏻‍♀️💫Mercury’s in retrograde from September 9 - October 2nd and we’re already feeling the breakdown. So we made sure to share a little bit about what you can expect from this season but the bulk of today’s episode is all about…

You guessed it, Conflict Resolution. Basically, Ilana + Jack got into a huge f*cking fight, but don’t worry - they fixed it 🥰 and they DEFINITELY made sure to bring it up this episode - because.. Well, we know y’all want the 🍵

So they’re here to teach the rest of you: ⭐ How YOU fight ⭐ How others can “handle” you ⭐ And as always, some friendly advice from your big sisters in astrology

Oh - and do us a favor, please make sure to rate, review & subscribe. We had a goal to hit a certain amount of reviews on Apple Podcast and we’re like, legit way behind 🤷🏻‍♀️

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We're talking friends! No, not the show, that's another podcast. Ilana + Jacquelin know you want them, you've got them, and they're back to help you figure out and understand your relationship with them. Tune is as we break down how each sign shows up for their besties and how you can be the BFF you were born to be. Oh, and we all know you want the dirt on that Frenemy you keep insta stalking.

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It's Virgo Season B*tches! We're starting off our Sun Sign series with the best sign in the zodiac, obvi. The notoriously critical overthinker - Virgo...A.K.A. the Virgin. Like, who else has a motto that says, "I Analyze"? Learn about all things Virgo: traits, relationships, compatibility and more. And don't forget to be productive while you're listening. After all, it's Virgo season ;)

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How can astrology help you better understand your family?

🤔Specifically - your parents.

Well… Your natal birth chart can be used in literally hundreds of ways to help you learn about yourself, and others – this extends to your parent-child relationship. Basically, by learning your OWN chart, you can begin to better understand how and WHY you interact with your parents and other family members. In fact, you don’t even need to look 👀at another person’s chart to examine your relationship with them.

What should you be taking away from this week’s episode?

⭐ Sun & Moon = masculine & feminine = dad & mom

⭐ What house your Moon falls into on your natal chart can shine a lot of light onto the type of family you had growing up

⚠️REMEMBER: If you decide to go down the rabbit hole of looking at your friends and family’s chart to figure this out for them… that each chart should be examine from the perspective of the person whose chart you’re looking at - try to do it with empathy and curiosity… aka: don’t be like us.

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Virgos and their opinions, areweright? 🙄

We threw all 12 zodiac signs into a random generator, and spun the wheel to answer questions like...How likely is someone to trust Leo with a secret? How do Sag's friends describe them? Who is Scorpio's best romantic astrological match? And literally so many more. So if you want to know what we think about you, your friends, your family, your lover and you’re secret love…listen in now 😘

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How do YOU think other people see you? 🤔 Your outward appearance, your attitude, even your style can all be dictated by your rising (or ascending) sign. Your rising sign is NOT, we repeat NOT your core self, but rather the filter on your core self - as Ilana likes to say, “it’s like looking through different colored glasses… or if we went to the grocery store and bought chocolate… but she bakes a cake and I just ate the bar. Makes sense, yeah?” (NOTE: Don’t know your rising sign? You ✨WILL✨ need to know what time you were born to get this one correct - so go find that birth certificate and enter your information into your favorite website or app!)

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So… Destiny & Past Lives is a thing? 😲 ☝🏼First things first, hop onto your favorite natal chart app or website and find your North Node – cause if you know that, you’ll automatically know your South Node. ⭐Your North Node is all about THIS life, the one you’re currently present in - so basically your “Destiny.” ⭐Your South Node tell the story of your PAST lives - and since the past dictates the future… basically what we’re saying is, the lessons you failed to learn back then are essentially going to haunt you now. This episode is all about figuring out what lessons you might’ve missed in the past, and how you can heal and find your purpose now. Don't forget to follow us on our socials: www.instagram.com/theviciousvirgos www.tiktok.com/@theviciousvirgos

Hey Woo Woo Crew! Welcome to The Vicious Virgos. This isn't your average astrology podcast. Sassy, unfiltered, and filled with lots of newbie material. Every week, hosts Ilana and Jacquelin give you the 411 on all things astrology. Tune in for lots of laughs, some drama, and of course, some much-needed cosmic advice. The astrological big sisters you never knew you needed!

Ok but honestly heartbreak is part of life, it’s universal, it’s common, but it’s absolutely one of the most painful things we’ll ever experience 😭 From romantic breakups to friendships that end, and of course–there’s heartbreak from a loss. Heartbreak feels as real as it is. It makes us vulnerable, helpless, and hopefully reflective.

Whether you’ve gone through it or not, we wanted to create an episode that focused on how the signs deal with heartbreak--how do they cope, what makes them feel better, and how do they heal 😘

Thankfully 🙏 astrology offers so much insight into breakups. Your zodiac or sun sign defines your personality, general preferences, and how you interact with the world. It also reveals how you flirt, connect, and your intimacy. So of course this is our go-to sign when it comes to looking at breakups.

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🤔So… remember a few weeks ago when we went ape shit over all that new stuff we learned and couldn’t wait to share it with y’all? Whelp, it’s here. And honestly, it probably could’ve been called “Cusps part 2,” because it really does make you rethink everyone you know… it definitely had us back pedaling when we said that: “August Virgos aren’t REAL Virgos” Cause it turns out - they’re actually more Virgo than we’ll EVER be. ✨SPECIAL GUEST BTW - LISTEN TO FIND OUT✨ Don't forget to follow us on our socials: www.instagram.com/theviciousvirgos www.tiktok.com/@theviciousvirgos

Midheaven (n): The point of the ecliptic on the meridian. The middle part of the sky. The midst of heaven.

AKA: MC, Medium Coeli

🤷🏻‍♀️🤷‍♀️WTF - right?

So turns out, this MC stuff is actually pretty eye opening when it comes to helping you figure out what the hell it is you want to do when you grow up (also don’t - it’s definitely a trap).

This week we’re helping you find yours, explaining what it means, and how to use this knowledge to improve that hustle you’re always talkin’ about.

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Oh hey Woo Woo Crew! This week we’re taking a little trip to a place we like to call the ✨magical woo woo land of the unknown✨ Yes - that’s right, we’re pivoting off course from the usual astrology shit to bring you something new, something fresh, but don’t worry - it’s still something weird… auras 🌈 Everything around us has energy, literally we’re MADE UP of energy. So obviously - it would make sense - that some of us who are sensitive, can actually SEE that energy 😲 Let’s play a guessing game - listen to the episode & drop what aura you think you have, and what your friends think you have. We’re curious to know… what vibe do YOU put off. Don’t forget to follow us on our socials: www.instagram.com/theviciousvirgos/ www.tiktok.com/theviciousvirgos

What’s in store for our dear Woo Woo Crew this Summer? A LOT 😲 Like, a lot a lot. Some of you are apparently getting married 💍…some are making babies 🍼…and some of you are buying a new houseplant 🪴 (you know who you are). So much happening in the cosmos this Summer - like Mars, Jupiter, and OMG Pluto??? Yeah, it’s gonna be big. And we’re covering it all because if nothing else, it’s nice to just give some unsolicited advice once in awhile 😘

Y’all are always asking us for predictive episodes - so listen up and let us know how you feel about what you future holds this Summer 😏

Listen now 🎙- LINK in bio.

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🤔WTF are all the lines in your birth chart? Well our dear Woo Woo Crew - Aspects are the ANGLES that are created by those lines connecting from planet point to planet point on your chart. And honestly y’all - when we figured this out, it was mind blowing 🤯 In this week’s episode, we discuss the 5️⃣ major aspects in your chart: 👉🏼 Conjunctions 👉🏼 Sextiles 👉🏼 Squares 👉🏼 Trines 👉🏼 Oppositions Some of these aspects create challenges, or tension – while others create harmony, or are more complementary. The coolest part about this - is it truly is where compatibility comes into play, it’s also another excuse or way to measure how messed up you’re feeling in the world. Take a look at the stars and blame them for that crying outburst you had earlier, it was most likely your Moon square Venus or something 😘

In the words of the great RuPaul, “If you don’t love yourself, how are you gonna love somebody else!?” 😍 We spend way too much time trying to get everyone in the cosmos to love us, but we forget to acknowledge the most important person in our lives, ourselves duh. So if you’re looking for the best ways to love yourself based off your sign, you’ve come to the right place mon ami 💖 And let’s not forget about our special one-on-one time. Self-pleasure is an important part of living a happy and healthy life. IT’S LITERALLY SCIENCE. So we’re diving into the best ways to ménage à moi. Don’t forget to check out our sponsor: BELLESA BOUTIQUE: Use code VIRGOS20 for 20% off on all vibrators and toys! 🛒 Shop here: https://bit.ly/3zgrucX Don’t forget to follow us on our socials: www.instagram.com/theviciousvirgos/ www.tiktok.com/theviciousvirgos

LIKE OMG. SURPRISE 😮

There were so many damn questions that we had to split this episode into ✌🏼parts. Not only that, but SURPRISE woo woo crew, it’s getting posted EARLY.

So….. here ya go 💋

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You asked, we answered ⭐ And this time we have A LOT to cover babes, so we’re doing a two-part series. From Libra and Taurus’s rom-com chemistry, to Virgo and Aries competitive bestie energy, we’re covering all your burning relationship questions. Thank you to everyone who submitted questions. Listen and see if we featured yours 💋

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We had a questions box 🗳️ up last week on our Instagram stories and oh my god did you give us the goods. Okay, tbh - some of y’all did NOT listen to “Surviving Mercury Retrograde” and it really shows.

Regardless, we answered them anyway. Get ready for the FIRST OFFICIAL Q&A episode!

We made sure to tag everyone who’s questions we answered, and if you liked this episode - let us know 👇

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Y’all have been BEGGING us to do this one, so we FINALLY did 😲 and holy shit were our minds are blown, like wtf. We’ve talked to astrologers who think it’s BS, but after knowing what we know now… let’s just say so many things make sense now.

So if you think you’re born between two signs, are you the Cusp of:

💜 Power

💜 Beauty

💜 Drama

💜 Revolution

💜 Prophecy

Listen to the episode, tag your friends who are cusps, and let us know what you think 👇

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2022 is a hot bed of energy as we go through FOUR Mercury Retrogrades, and these ones are weird, they start in one sign, and end in another 🤷‍♀️

Back at the beginning of the Vicious Virgos, we recorded a survey on Mercury Retrograde 💫-think higher level. Just kind of skimming the history and surface while providing some very necessary tips and tricks for navigating this three-week period 😘

So before you roll your eyes 🙄 and think this is a re-release, it’s not. This is literally a BRAND NEW episode, with new notes, new advice, and some very specific shit on how to handle this Gemini/Taurus period.

Don’t forget to follow us on our socials: www.instagram.com/theviciousvirgos www.tiktok.com/theviciousvirgos

Y’all know we saved the best for last. All about water signs is the closing up our elements series and it came in like a flood 🌊 Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces - your water has no form and you rely on others to create boundaries to keep you from running away or drying up. We’re jealous of how you actually have feelings and you’re intuitive AF. We honestly don’t know where we’d be, or the type of person we’d be, without you softening our rigid b*tchiness 🥰 You’re a reason to LOVE, love. A reason to believe people are inherently good + a reason to be suspicious and question everything. We love you water signs, you may or may not be our fav 😘 Have a water sign in your natal chart? Make sure to click the 🔗in bio to listen to this episode. Don’t sleep on this one bbs. Xoxo Don’t forget to follow us on our socials: www.instagram.com/theviciousvirgos www.tiktok.com/theviciousvirgos

If you’ve been paying attention, you know Ilana + Jack have been DYING 💀 to learn more about this & it all started way back to last April when Ilana booked Jack an appointment with an astrologer🪐

So WTF is your Descendant & why is it important?

We’ll tell you the first part, but you need to listen to hear the rest 😘

Your Descendant is the exact opposite of your Ascendant or Rising sign. So if you’re a rising Sag (coughILANAcough), then your Descendant is … wait for it… Gemini ♊It’s essentially your shadow self - the part of other than annoys the sh*t out of you, yeah - hello projection.

Want to know more? Guess you’ll just have t

In proper Virgo fashion, we are committing to our plan and giving you all the next episode in our elements series: Air 💨

Yes, today we’re talking air signs--the elusive, logical, communicative, overthinking doers of the zodiac. Yes that’s right, the airheads -- except not really, at all.

These signs breeze through life, never stopping to catch their breath. Their mentality is “live and let live”. They’re smartpants that lead with their brains and utilize their intelligence to help them make decisions easily 😝

SO if you’re a Gemini, Libra, or Aquarius, have any of these signs in your birth chart, or know one of these social-o-paths, you should probably listen to this episode.

🌜Moon Signs - but make it Trivia… then add in a dash of celebrity (okay, way more than a dash - it’s essentially the meat and potatoes of this episode). Ilana + Jacquelin hit the jackpot and finally got a break because our favorite ♓ put together this list (love you Collin) and all we had to do was play along. So who did he pick? ⭐Pete Davidson ⭐Kim K ⭐Will Smith ⭐Zendaya ⭐Zoe Kravitz ⭐Billie Eilish ⭐ … and obvi more So do us a favor, grab your pen and some paper, we’re asking you to keep score and see how well you do. Click LINK in bio to listen + play along ⬆️ Tip: Don’t follow Jack’s lead, she failed miserably.

Earth signs are pleasure weeks who delight in matters of the flesh 🥰

Sex, Food, Sleep, a stiff drink, and a soft bed. These grounded babies have to feel comfortable in their surroundings and at home in their skin. They’re connected to their bodies & desires in a way that has them CONSTANTLY seeking to understand:

What is my “purpose?” 🤔

All about Earth Signs kicks off the 2nd episode in our “Elemental” series - don’t forget to check out “All About Fire Signs” while you’re at it 😘

We’re talking change and abundance baby!

⏲️Take this time to focus on your finances, step back for some self-care, or get over any hurdles you’ve been dealing with in your love life. These transitions are inevitable and we’re here to give you just enough guidance to make sure these changes don’t hurt… too much 😉

Y’all are always asking us for predictive episodes - so tune, report back, and tell us if we got this one right 🤍

Episode 32 is on FI-YAH (we gagged writing that, so cheesy)🎤 Each zodiac sign is ruled by an element 💫 Whether that’s Water, Fire, Air or Earth. This week we’re breaking down what it means to be a “Fire 🔥 Sign,” as a part of our Elements Series… so maybe you’ll finally understand what Ilana & Jack mean when they say, their “rising fire is showing.” 😉

🎵..Is this love that I'm feeling

Is this the love that I've been searching for…🎵

Okay, now that you’ve found it - what’s next? You know we’re obsessed with all things personality-test-related, so why would determining how we love and should be loved be any different?

Do you know your love languages? Guess you’ll just have to listen to find out 😘xoxo

Astrology is bullsh*t. Everything you've been hearing from us is B.S. Okay... but not really...this episode isn't what you think 👀 But we don't want to spill too much or you probz won't listen. So just go listen!

Who’s your Daddy? Oh, that’s right - Saturn is 🪐

There to tell you to get real, grow TF up, and get yourself back on track so you can actually achieve those dreams you keep journalling about (we’re so proud that you journal 🥰). This is the time to get serious and think about WHO you really are - what kind of legacy do you want to leave behind? What mark do you want to make on the world - if any?

Make sure to listen to this week’s episode as Ilana & Jack tell you what you can expect during YOUR Saturn Return. Whether it’s your first time around or your second, we’ll dive into each sign and tell you exactly what’s in store for your Return.

We don’t want to spoil it - but this episode is DEFINITELY rated “E” - you know, for extra special... ha!

What does 2022 have in store for your luv life? Like, a lot... This year will bring EPIC love! Soulmate love. The kind of love that will change you. But, of course, there will be plenty of breakups too ...So will you find the one, have your life shattered, or float on a romantic dream? We're diving into romantic predictions for the signs Plus, as always, some much needed advice! Cause, you know you need it.

We could seriously not be more excited for this episode! We have our FIRST special guest, the fabulous Taryn Bond. Everybody's favorite TikTok Astrologer is coming in hot to spill her wisdom on compatibility.

💜What it is

💜What to look for

💜How to read it

💜And because we had to… what Jack + Ilana’s compatibility looks like.

You seriously won’t want to miss this cute little Pisces (duh, you know we had to have a 🐟on if we were talking compatibility) drop her infinite knowledge.

Give her a follow!

@tarynleighbond on Instagram and TikTok ♓

Let's talk about sex baby 🍆

We're getting down & dirty, giving you what you allll want: it's time to learn the sexual secrets of the signs. What are they like in bed? What gets their engines running? Let's take a trip to pound town. We're here to help you shag life to the fullest.

OMG - we’re having a quarter life crisis 🎤 JK - but also, pretty fucking cool that we’ve completed half a year already. So what better way to celebrate than with a “mini” roast. Ehhh - but is it actually just some much needed calling out + advice from your favorite know-it-alls. Tips for listening this week:

Get ready to take notes Maybe find something to hold while you cry Be prepared to feel seen AF 👀

But seriously, we love you and we’re hopeful you get some good nuggets out of this - if not for yourself, to project onto someone else 🤣

Ahh… yes, another educational post brought to you by your favorite Virgos 😘

Mercury, that opportunistic, unemotional little bitch.

You’re basically going to look at someone’s Mercury to figure out HOW people get their point across, how they study & how they process information.

💫 By Sign→ their “style” of communication

💫By House → areas in life “intellectualized”

Want to know more? Guess you’ll just have to listen.

Xoxo,

Stay Vicious

If it thinks like a Virgo, and it analyzes like a Virgo, It’s probably a Virgo. 😂

Is there really anything better than scouring the internet for personality tests? We’ve got the Meyers-Briggs, the Human Design, and Enneagrams (but let’s be honest - astrology has always been where it’s at!).

This episode is short and sweet as we help you break down your Enneagram types + help you learn a little bit more about the people around you as well.

TBH - this should’ve been our first episode, oops. 🤦‍♀️

This episode we’re updating you on a few things:

1️⃣Why we had to re-release “What’s Your Sign?” last week

2️⃣What’s been going on with ilana’s health

Once that housekeeping shit is done and everyone hears all the personal stuff that none of you care about – we dive into how to read your birth chart. You know, that confusing circle with all the lines and symbols? Yeah, that one.

And, Jack may or may not have had too much bourbon and went on an interrupting spree full of too many personal deets… but that’s typical 🤣 Let’s just say, we’re so happy to get back to recording, so happy to be back together, and cannot wait to drop more episodes.

Xoxo - Lani + Jack

It's the very first episode of The Vicious Virgos! Ilana and Jacquelin talk all things Sun Signs - their strengths, their weaknesses, and what advice they would give to each one. Then they get to some of your burning questions sent in to The Just Girl Project. Don't forget to like and subscribe!

Last page of the journal. Closing the book on 2021📖 We don’t know about you - but DAMN what a year. Full of heartbreak😍, new careers, travel, where else do you want us to go with this? Seriously though, what a f*cking year. Oof. What better way to close out 2021 than with the Vicious Virgo’s New Year's Resolutions AND Predictions for 2022? Yeah, that’s right - we said PREDICTIONS. Tune in to hear what we think next year has in store for you and what you should be planning for the year ahead. Xoxo - VV

So you wanted to get your MBA and be some hotshot advertising agent… but the reality is, you’re so much better suited to be a fabulous musician. Yeah, that’s right - you can pretty much pinpoint which career path is the best one for you to pick based on your Zodiac sign. We’re not saying give up on your dreams. If you want that MBA, go for it. But if you’re only working at your job for the money, is that really going to be what makes you happy in the long run? Listen to this week’s episode as Ilana + Jacquelin share their opinions and spit some facts on which career path may be the best one for you.

Astrology in the house! Your houses are determined by where the ENTIRE sky was at the moment you were born. Think of it as a snapshot of the stars ⭐This includes above and below the horizon. Each house symbolizes a different area of your life. Your first house is all about self-image and the impression you make on others. But we’re not spoiling the rest of them, you’ll just have to listen and hear for yourself 😉 Tip: It’s important to remember that the zodiac wheel and the wheel of houses ARE NOT the same. Houses are based on a 24hr rotation around Earth’s axis where the zodiac wheel is based on the Sun’s yearly rotation around the Earth.

Come play along with us! Spin the bottle, 7 minutes in heaven, Suck and blow… and then there’s Astro Truth or TRIVIA 😱No, you didn’t read that wrong. We swapped out the “dare” because.. you know, Virgo - and decided to see just HOW MUCH we actually know about the signs. Ilana + Jacquelin created an exhaustive list of revealing questions where they either have to expose a dark truth, or risk an astrology trivia question. Grab your notebooks little star seeds (iykyk) ⭐- this one is full of surprises.

Your favorite duo is back at it again this time we get sassy with our least favorite zodiac matches 😘

NOW, before you jump down our throats and say, “BUT MY PARTNER AND I…” We don’t want to hear it. AND if we get one more DM that says, “There’s more to compatibility than just sun signs…” YES, WE KNOW. Listen to our other podcast episodes, we literally say that All. The. Time.

So without further ado, get ready for some serious surprises, as always irreverent jokes, and don’t forget to rate, review & subscribe 💜

100% you thought this episode was all about compatibility. If you thought that-well… you’re not wrong, but you’re also not right.

You keep asking for “sun signs this” and “sun signs that”-so we freaking delivered and honestly, we had so much fun with this episode.

You know we’re team Virgo + Pisces. But do you know WHY?! Listen in to this weeks episode as we break down what each partner brings to the relationship and we rate their compatibility on a scale of 1-10.

The final installment in our series of 3 - and you better believe that we saved the best for last, baby!

We’ve spent the last 3 weeks in our Horror-scopes series talking about your dark side. This time, we’re twisting the knife - pouring salt in the wound - and probably squeezing a lemon in there as well. I mean, kick you while you’re down, right?

Chiron - the “wounded healer,” representing our deepest, most tender inner wounds that are the hardest for us to heal. Depending on it’s placement in your chart, it will show you possible areas for some serious soul-level healing - but also, trigger points, struggles, and the painful parts of life we’d rather not face.

Chiron is here to teach us and help us recognize our wounds. Our weak spots are not feelings we cannot get rid of, they have to be confronted, they have to be seen. It’s only once this wound is recognized can we begin to heal - and help to heal others.

The second in our series of 3.

This one is going to have you gasping and saying “WTF” outloud - so maybe don’t listen at work.

Black Moon Lilith (aka: dark moon), is a specific point along the moon’s orbit when it’s farthest from Earth. So no, it’s not a planet, comet, asteroid, etc.

Lilith is a boss btch! 🎤drop Or at least, your “inner btch” - she’s connected to your inner shadow but also in areas where you put your foot down, set boundaries and express anger. She also related to your inner authority, sensuality/sexuality, and how you choose (or don’t choose) to go against the grains and defy the norms.

When Lilith is left uncontrolled though - be careful, this can also manifest in obsessive or destructive tendencies.

Welcome to Horror Scopes, b*tches.

The first in our series of 3. Exploring the scary sh*t you can’t find by reading your horoscope in Cosmo.

This week’s episode has Ilana + Jacquelin exploring The Black Zodiac. That’s right - we all have a side we like to hide. That inner demon that is constantly clawing at the surface, fighting to come out. It’s the darker equivalent to the Western Astrological Zodiac. Representing evil tendencies in humans based on when they were born.

Why is this important? Well obviously the more you know, the more mindful you can be about how you act and react to things. It’s also helpful to be aware of The Black Zodiac characteristics of those you interact with.

Ilana has always been Jacquelin’s go to for sending a voice-text about some weird ass dream she had the night before. So of course the natural step after starting a podcast was to share this insight with everyone.

Fun Fact: Did you know that in ancient societies (think Greece & Egypt), dreaming was considered a form of supernatural communication, or some kind of divine intervention!? Whose messages could be interpreted by people with spiritual powers!

Ilana + Jacquelin don’t seem to have super powers, well - maybe they do. But regardless, we’re here to provide the scoop on the most common dreams we have and what they mean - we promise, you’re definitely going to be surprised!

Ilana + Jacquelin are back at it again and this time with an episode that's sure to ignite some fires.

That's right, we're talking about the sexiest planet in our solar system, Mars. It's the planet of our desires, actions, energy, passion, war, aggression... sex.

Sounds pretty titillating, doesn't it?

Where this planet is placed in our chart says a lot about how we work for what we want, how we show passion - and duh, how we like to get it on. So sit back, relax, maybe turn the lights down and light a candle. Get ready, this is going to be a wild one.

MGK + Megan Fox, Beyonce + Jay-Z, J.Lo + Ben Affleck. The list goes on and on… as this week Ilana + Jacquelin play a little game of “Celebrity Couples, Guess Their Sign!” Well, it was supposed to be a game, but Ilana knows them all. We break down some of the newest Celebrity matches, some rekindled flames, and some tried and trues to figure out whether or not they’re compatible and what the stars have in order for them. Make sure to tune in and play along! Send us your score and we might just do something special for you. ✨

Welp, Mercury’s troll face has arrived. Yes, it’s that time again. Welcome to the retrograde, b*tches.

But like, why should you care? Well, it’s affects you…yes, ALL OF YOU… 3-4 times a year, for 3 weeks at a time. When the planet Mercury enters retrograde, meaning it appears to be moving in reverse, that marks the beginning of chaos here on Earth.

And Mercury rules communication, so sh*t most certainly hits the fan. Misunderstandings, disagreements, raised emotions, instability…the list goes on.

Our favorite scapegoat of all. And the best form of validation as to why we’re feeling…off? Join us for a drama-filled episode as we discuss how your sign can survive this period and what to do to make the most of it.

This week we're dishing out about the most underrated planet ever. Yes, we're talking about Venus-the planet of love, money, and beauty. Venus represents your values, including your relationship with finances and material possessions. This planet is all about pleasure, so Venus just sits back and relaxes while it gets exactly what it wants. Wanna find out what your Venus means? Listen now 💜

We're talking friends! No, not the show, that's another podcast. Ilana + Jacquelin know you want them, you've got them, and they're back to help you figure out and understand your relationship with them. Tune is as we break down how each sign shows up for their besties and how you can be the BFF you were born to be. Oh, and we all know you want the dirt on that Frenemy you keep insta stalking.

Have you ever wanted to know what it would be like to date a specific zodiac sign? Well we've dated them all, so let's get into it.

Use this episode as your reference, as we dish out exactly what you’ll love, what will make you cringe, and what to look out for when it comes to each and every sign.

Omg we're back again ⭐️ Let's talk rising signs this time because without your rising sign, like...who are you? Ilana + Jacquelin tackle all the rising signs (aka the Ascendant), your social personality and how you represent your physical body and outward style. So yeah, it's pretty important... Find out which celebs share your sign, get some much-needed advice, and enjoy the ride, as always. Xoxo

Hey Vicious B*tches - it's Virgo Season! Break out your yearbooks, it's time for "The Signs Most Likely To..." edition. From the one most likely to win a Grammy, to the one most likely to nurse your broken heart - they're doling out judgement on a cosmic level.

Moon Signs are all the hype right now and you're probably like - oh great another sign I have to analyze? Well, yeah... Get all mushy gushy with Ilana and Jacquelin as they dive deep into moon signs-how we deal with emotions, reactions, and energy, especially when it comes to relationships. To be honest probably the most important thing in your chart. All the feels this episode. So cuddle up and grab your tissues. Don't forget to throw them away. We're not here to clean up your mess. Cause ew, gross. Love u💗

It's the very first episode of The Vicious Virgos! Ilana and Jacquelin talk all things Sun Signs - their strengths, their weaknesses, and what advice they would give to each one. Then they get to some of your burning questions sent in to The Just Girl Project.

Don't forget to like and subscribe!