The Mothers' Hood Podcast: Recent Episodes
Sam Murrell
Today we mother largely in isolation, away from our families, friends, and communities. But it was never meant to be this way. We should be mothering amongst the stories of motherhood - its complexities, joys, and challenges. Without hearing others’ stories we lack the reference to make sense of our own experiences and the language to express how we are feeling it leaves mothers feeling disconnected, lost, and believing there is something wrong with them. The Mothers’ Hood Podcast lifts the lid and tells the real, raw, and honest stories of motherhood through conversations with a variety of mothers. It also celebrates mothers thriving in motherhood and challenges the damaging modern narrative of the perfect mother and intensive mothering.
Mental ill health, whilst being talked about more today, can still feel like a taboo topic with judgement and shame attached to it.
In this episode, Laura Neilson, shares her mental health crises in both the pre and post-natal periods of her pregnancy with her daughter, Edith. She discusses how this unfolded over her pregnancy, in the immediate post-natal period and beyond and how she found the support she needed to help her to start feeling better.
Listen as Laura and I discuss:
· The pre-natal mental ill health episode including a hospital visit and how this evoked feelings of guilt and failure
· That birthing her way made her feel empowered especially after feeling like she had already failed as a mother and the initially calm post-partum period
· How severe allergies in her baby daughter threw her into another period of trauma leading her into a black hole of depression
· What help she found to pull her out of her black hole of depression and change her thought processes
Laura also shares how anxiety is still a part of her life but that it no longer has the power over her that it used to.
If you have experienced or are experiencing mental ill health I hope that by hearing Laura’s story you know that you are not alone and you are not broken or failing. There is help available and you can get better – see resources below for more information.
Find Laura online:
Instagram: @laura_soulmamacoaching
Facebook: @laura_femmepower
Resources
If you are experiencing symptoms of anxiety and/or depression please know there is help available and you are not alone.
Please reach out to your local healthcare provider, speak to a therapist or counsellor, or contact one of the services listed below.
www.mind.org.uk – advice and support to empower anyone experiencing a mental health problem.
www.pandasfoundation.org.uk – peer-to-peer support for mother, their families and their network. Free helpline – 0808 1961 776
www.panda.org.au PANDA – Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia – supports the mental health of parents and families during pregnancy and in their first year of parenthood. - PANDA National Helpline (Mon to Fri, 9am - 7.30pm AEST/AEDT) 1300 726 306
www.mothersformothers.co.uk – peer support and helpline services. 0117 9359366
Mothers’ Hood
I'm deeply passionate about mothers thriving in motherhood and beyond!
Come and join the Mothers’ Hood community. I’d love to connect with you!
Instagram: @mothers.hood
Facebook: @mothershoodtribe
Feeling overwhelmed, exhausted or lost? My free guide for new mamas is a great place to start. Sign upherefor your free Guide ‘5 Essentials All New mamas Need to Know’.
To further support you on your mothering journey, I provide 1:1 sessions which comprise a hybrid of coaching, mentoring and educating. Click here to book a free 20 minute coffee and Zoom to discuss what’s challenging you right now and how we can work together to get you fired up and thriving!
Much love
Sam x
In episode 7, our guest, Melissa Christian, shares her story of becoming an adoptive mother after years and years of trying to naturally conceive. This long, lonely, isolating journey of infertility plagued her with self-doubt and judgement and affected all aspects of her life.
Listen as Melissa and I discuss:
· How the years of trying to conceive made her feel and how it affected her relationships
· The next stage of her journey to becoming a mother through the adoption process
· Her experience of post-natal depression after adopting her first child and highlights the lack of support for adoptive mothers
The narrative of modern mothering is so narrow and restrictive. It excludes so many mothers who are don’t fit into this ‘box’ of what the perfect mother is and leaves those on the ‘outside’ feeling isolated and less than.
By sharing her story, Melissa is bringing awareness for the adoptive community who need just as much support as any other mother.
Find Melissa online:
Instagram: @matrescence_adoptionsupport
Facebook: @liminalWomenAU
www.matrescencesupportsisters.com
Mothers’ Hood
I am deeply passionate that all mothers get to thrive in motherhood and beyond. We can start mothers on this path by sharing knowledge, talking honestly and openly and by community and support.
Come and join the Mothers’ Hood community. I’d love to connect with you!
Instagram: @mothers.hood
Facebook: @mothershoodtribe
Feeling overwhelmed, exhausted or lost? My free guide for new mamas is a great place to start. Sign upherefor your free Guide ‘5 Essentials All New mamas Need to Know’.
To further support you on your mothering journey, I provide 1:1 coaching sessions. Click here to book a Mum Date with me. Your first hour is just £6 and is a great low cost way to experience my coaching magic and see if you would like to continue to work together. Or drop me an email for more information – sam@mothers-hood.co.uk
Much love
Sam x
We live in a culture that celebrates and almost idolises mothers who appear to do it all and have it all together. It’s a self-perpetuating cycle - we do more and more and are praised for doing so, so we continue to do more and more because that praise and recognition feels good.
But this is often an appearance and frequently masks burnout and exhaustion.
In episode 6, Layla O’Mara shares her experience of being Supermum and the effect it had on her.
Listen as Layla shares
· The starkly contrasting experiences of the postpartum periods of her first two children in Germany with her third in Ireland
· How searching for answers about postpartum care led her to training as a doula and the healing that came from that
· How diving deeper into learning and understanding about motherhood concepts and matrescence was a game changer for her to understanding her own mothering experiences and how the societal expectations contributed to her own burnout and overwhelm.
We end the conversation with Layla describing how she is letting go of all of the baggage that she picked up along the way on the expectations of motherhood and how she is now softening and slowing down.
I hope this episode highlights the damaging conditioning around modern motherhood which makes us strive to do more and be more at the expense of our well-being. Being aware of it is the first step in healing from it and rejecting those parts that do not serve you.
Find Layla online:
Layla is a Motherhood and Matrescence guide and also works as a 5 Element acupuncturist from her home in Wicklow, Ireland. Find her below:
Instagram: @nuanuaonline
Facebook: @nuanua
Website: www.nuanuaonline.com
Resources
Layla references the book The Heroin's Journey by Maureen Murdoch
Mothers’ Hood
I care deeply about mothers thriving in motherhood and beyond. We can start mothers on this path by sharing knowledge, talking honestly and openly and by community and support.
Come and join the Mothers’ Hood community. I’d love to connect with you!
Instagram: @mothers.hood
Facebook: @mothershoodtribe
Website www.mothers-hood.co.uk
Feeling overwhelmed, exhausted or lost? My free guide for new mamas is a great place to start. Sign upherefor your free Guide ‘5 Essentials All New mamas Need to Know’.
I also hold 1:1 sessions which are a place for you to unleash ALL the ugly feelings and thoughts you might be having about mamahood. We delve deeper into these and we reset how you feel about yourself and motherhood. You come away with tools to support you when these annoying thoughts pop up again and enable you to move forwards rather than circling down spirals of doom and self-criticism!
Click here to book a free coffee and Zoom call or drop me an email for more information – sam@mothers-hood.co.uk
Much love
Sam x
The return to work for most mothers, who chose to or have to, is not smooth sailing. We have birthed and nurtured a new life and our lives have radically changed. Then we enter back into a world that does not recognise or value our mothering roles and the additional energy and time this requires.
This week’s guest, Rachelle Glendon, experienced this ‘friction point’ after the birth of her second child.
Listen as we discuss:
- The resentment and overwhelm Rachelle felt when she wasn’t able to fulfil her calling for ‘something more’ and how this manifested in frustration with her husband and internally with herself
- Rachelle’s exploration into what was going on leading to her recognising how modern patriarchal motherhood affects both men and women and how this dynamic was playing out in her marriage.
- How this feminist awakening changed her relationship with her husband and how she showed up as a mother.
She also discusses how her way of living slow is counter-cultural and what this brings up but how it enables her to show up and enjoy life as a mother, wife, friend, and for herself.
We end with the story of her recent big solo trip which was a huge step for her and how it benefitted both her and her whole family.
I hope this episode highlights the pressures of modern motherhood and how we are set up to fail in a culture that does not value the role of mothers. We often look internally for our shortcomings but please know it’s not you who isn’t enough or who doesn’t do enough – we were never meant to mother alone and the modern idealisation of motherhood is unachievable and unrealistic.
Find Rachelle online:
Rachelle is a slow-living coach for busy Mums. Find her below and join her community to embrace a slow living lifestyle and get clear on the essentials to create an intentional, fulfilled life.
Instagram: @ howtoliveslow
Facebook: @howtoliveslow
Website: www.howtoliveslow.com
Podcast: www.howtoliveslow.com/podcast
Mothers’ Hood - I want all mothers to thrive in motherhood and beyond. We can start mothers on this path by sharing knowledge, talking honestly and openly, and by community and support.
Come and join the Mothers’ Hood community. I’d love to connect with you!
Instagram: @mothers.hood
Facebook: @mothershoodtribe
Feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, or lost? My free guide for new mamas is a great place to start. Sign up here for your free Guide ‘5 Essentials All New mamas Need to Know’.
To further support you on your mothering journey, I provide 1:1 sessions that comprise a hybrid of coaching, mentoring, and educating. Click here to book a free discovery call or drop me an email for more information – sam@mothers-hood.co.uk
Much love
Sam x
Content/trigger warning – references to suicidal ideation and potential miscarriage
Pregnancy is often a complex time of joy and celebration mixed in with worry, anxiety, uncertainty, physical pain, nausea, sickness, exhaustion, and everything in between. But for some women, there is little enjoyment because of the risk that their baby might not survive the pregnancy or for long after the birth.
This was the reality for our guest, Kylie Blascetta.
Kylie shares:
- Discovering early on that her baby might not survive the pregnancy due to a lack of amniotic fluid and the high risk of her pregnancy ending in miscarriage or death soon after birth
- The impact of this and further difficulties throughout her pregnancy that led to a loss of her support village and the impact this had on her mental health
- How a pivotal moment when she was in the depths of post-natal anxiety and depression was the catalyst to her choosing a different way, setting her on a path of recovery and reclaiming her power
We also discuss the lack of care she received for her own needs and mental health as the mother and how the cone of silence and shame which surrounded her pregnancy exacerbated an already incredibly vulnerable period in her life.
By sharing Kylie's story, my hope is that it encourages others to talk about their own struggles and challenges and that they don’t need to suffer in silence or feel shameful. Mothers need to know that their own needs and mental health are equally as important as their baby’s health.
Find Kylie online: Instagram: @liminalwomen Facebook: @liminalWomenAU
Other Resources -
If you are experiencing symptoms of anxiety and/or depression please know there is help available and you are not alone. Please reach out to your local healthcare provider, speak to a therapist or counsellor, or contact one of the services listed below.
www.mind.org.uk – advice, and support to empower anyone experiencing a mental health problem.
www.pandasfoundation.org.uk – peer-to-peer support for mother, their families, and their network. Free helpline – 0808 1961 776
www.panda.org.au PANDA – Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia – supports the mental health of parents and families during pregnancy and in their first year of parenthood. - PANDA National Helpline (Mon to Fri, 9am - 7.30pm AEST/AEDT) 1300 726 306
www.mothersformothers.co.uk – peer support and helpline services. 0117 9359366
Dr. Kristin Neff – Self-Compassion
Kylie references the work of Dr. Kristin Neff on kindness and self-compassion. She can be found at https://www.self-compassion.org
Come and join the Mothers’ Hood community.
Instagram: @mothers.hood Facebook: @mothershoodtribe
Feeling overwhelmed, exhausted or lost? My free guide for new mamas is a great place to start. Sign up here for your free Guide ‘5 Essentials All New mamas Need to Know’.
To further support you on your mothering journey, I provide 1:1 sessions which comprise a hybrid of coaching, mentoring, and education. Click here to book a free discovery call or drop me an email for more information – sam@mothers-hood.co.uk
Much love,
Sam x
Becoming a mother is a huge transition and one that is rarely celebrated, supported, and honoured in the ways that mothers need. This leaves mothers disoriented, lost, and exhausted.
Gladys Kangau experienced all of this after the birth of her first child. She was told she had post-partum depression but believed it was something else. This started her on a journey of searching for her truth and led her to find matrescence which helped her to make sense of her mothering journey.
We discuss:
- The cultural expectations of a ‘good mother’ in Kenya
- How finding matrescence healed her mothering experience
- The small and simple steps that helped Gladys let go of the expectations and led her to being an activist in her community
Find Glayds online:
Instagram:
- @motherhood_unscripted
- @mama_kazaliwa
Trigger Warning Domestic Violence**
Entering motherhood and looking after a newborn baby can be challenging enough without adding what today’s guest had to deal with. In this episode, Lucy Wylde bravely shares her experience with domestic violence in the form of coercive control. She discusses this abuse by her partner, which appeared shortly after her daughter was born, and the journey to leaving her partner several years later. Lucy is a beautifully empathic soul, and you will hear how deeply she feels and expresses her emotions – something I can personally resonate with.
You will learn:
- How the abuse manifested and the signs that something was seriously wrong.
- How Lucy became her own hero and the moment she realised she needed to leave the relationship.
- What thriving as a solo mother looks like for her now.
Below are some links to where you can access help if you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence.
Find Lucy Wylde online:
Website: https://www.thebirthrecoverycoach.com
Instagram: @thebirthrecoverycoach
Facebook The Birth Recovery Coach - Private Group
Other Resources
Below are some of the UK based resources set up to help those experiencing domestic violence or abuse. Domestic violence is the systematic pattern of behaviour on the part of the abuser designed to control his partner.
The abuse can be physical, emotional, psychological, financial, or sexual. Anyone forced to alter their behaviour because they are frightened of their partner’s reaction is being abused. It can begin at any stage of the relationship. Domestic violence is rarely a one-off. Incidents generally become more frequent and severe over time.
Domestic Violence UK - a not-for-profit organisation set up to provide information, support, and raise awareness on the issues of domestic and emotional abuse.
Refuge – The freephone, 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline. The Helpline can help you find a refuge vacancy for you and your children; call for more information. They can also support you to find other specialist services in your community, which can provide support whether or not you have left your partner. 0808 2000 247
UK Says No More - Safe Spaces Locations - UK SAYS NO MORE - UK SAYS NO MORE is working with Boots UK, Morrisons, Superdrug and Well pharmacies, HSBC, TSB banks, and independent pharmacies across the UK to provide Safe Spaces in their consultation rooms for people experiencing domestic abuse.
The very first episode of the Mothers’ Hood Podcast explores the taboo topic of rage and anger in motherhood with Alison Ryan.
Alison shares her experience of the overwhelming rage she felt after having her second daughter. This is a topic that is rarely discussed or acknowledged and is shrouded in so much shame and guilt.
We discuss:
- How the rage and anger manifested and the self-judgment she had in feeling this way
- Alison’s breaking point, resulting in smashing plates in the sink, and how this was a key moment for her to recognise that she was not ok
- The steps she took to start feeling calmer and to reset how she feels about motherhood and herself
- Alison provides some great tangible examples of the ways she takes care of her own needs today.
- Breaking the silence on this normal, human emotion, is the first step in helping mothers know that they are not failing motherhood or a bad mother for feeling this way.
Find Alison online:
Website: www.alisonjaneryan.com
Instagram: @iamalisonryan Facebook: @AlisonJaneRyan
Other Resources
If you are struggling with anger and rage, please reach out to your local healthcare provider, speak to a therapist or counsellor, or contact one of the services listed below.
www.mind.org.uk – advice and support to empower anyone experiencing a mental health problem.
www.pandasfoundation.org.uk – peer-to-peer support for mother, their families, and their network. Free helpline – 0808 1961 776
www.mothersformothers.co.uk – peer support and helpline services. 0117 9359366
Today we mother largely in isolation, away from our families, friends, and communities. But it was never meant to be this way.
We should be mothering amongst the stories of motherhood - its complexities, joys, and challenges. Without hearing others’ stories we lack the reference to make sense of our own experiences and the language to express how we are feeling it leaves mothers feeling disconnected, lost, and believing there is something wrong with them.
The Mothers’ Hood Podcast lifts the lid and tells the real, raw, and honest stories of motherhood through conversations with a variety of mothers. It also celebrates mothers thriving in motherhood and challenges the damaging modern narrative of the perfect mother and intensive mothering.