Snug and Shady: Recent Episodes
Cynthia Knight, Calvin Thompson
Let us be your curators in the Museum of Mental Health! We host weekly discussions on different aspects of mental wellness and therapy tools. It's a light-hearted approach to difficult conversations. With your hosts Calvin and Cynthia!
Have you ever had a friend that you loved so much, but they love someone that is not good for them? Calvin and Brittany recall examples of the healthy and unhealthy ways to hold space for our friends. Also, our very own announcer Alex is joining us and will be offering input as well! Follow us on Instagram @snugandshadypodcast
Do you love your body? Do you hate your body? Are you tired of living up to the standards of what you see in media regarding body image? Let's talk about it! Today, Brittany discusses the concept of "Body Neutrality." Also, Calvin and Brittany both share their own vulnerable journey's with their own self worth ties to their perception of body image. Follow us on Instagram @snugandshadypodcast
Brittany's First "Main" Episode!! Welcome to Season 2 of Snug and Shady!! Today we discuss the workplace and how to cope with modern workplace environments. We offer practical tips based on our experience to help you have a health job experience.
Follow us on Instagram @snugandshadypodcast
Editing Note: We have decided since the taping of this episode to no longer upload uncensored and bonus episodes to our patreon. Any mention of Patreon will soon not be available.
It's a farewell lap for one of our hosts in today's 1 year anniversary episode! Cynthia is exiting the show after a fantastic year. We discuss the highs, lows, and uh-ohs! And we look back on a year's worth of laughs, therapy tips, and growth. Goodbye Cynthia, and thanks for the good times!
What does a meaningful career look like to you? How do you keep boundaries in place with a challenging boss? Has your professional life been fulfilling or draining? This week Calvin and Cynthia discuss mental health and careers! We spend a third of pur lives at a job, so it should be a healthy place. Join the discussion.
Rupi Kaur once said, "Do not look for healing at the feet of those who broke you." Why do we return to people who keep hurting us? What makes us keep asking for healing from someone who will never give it? This week we discuss victimhood and what that process looks like. Join the discussion!
In the immortal words of Jonathan Van Ness, “When we’re able to share with someone who we do feel safe with, we can realize that these things that are happening to us don’t make us unloveable and aren’t anything to have as a huge secret and don’t make our future dark and dreary. Actually, we have a really gorgeous future and we deserve love and safety."
Normalize therapy! When celebrities speak out in support of therapy and mental health it helps enter the mainstream and becomes more acceptable. This week we talk about doing the work of therapy and what you can do to begin the healing journey. Lizzo said. “I finally realized that owning up to your vulnerabilities is a form of strength. And making the choice to go to therapy is a form of strength.” And from Selena Gomez, “I wish more people would talk about therapy. We girls, we’re taugh to be almost too resilient, to be strong and sexy and cool and laid-back, the girl who’s down. We also need to feel allowed to fall apart.”
Raise your hand if you've ever ghosted? Or started avoiding someone because it was too challenging to enforce a boundary? Join the club! In this episode, we talk about ways avoidance leads to disconnection and dead relationships. The alternative is encouraging healthy boundaries! Tune in for more!
Happy New Year! Who is feelin 2022? To kick off the new year, we wanted to talk to you about regrets, remorse, and resolutions! We discuss the impact of regret, what causes it, how it holds you back, and how to overcome having any. Regret is like trying to move forward with your head looking back - you'll get all turned around and never end up where you actually wanted to go. So tune in this week and let us know what you think! No Ragrets!! ;)
What was your tipping point, when you decided to run towards healing?
“Nobody will protect you from your suffering. You can cry it away or eat it away, or starve it away, or walk it away or punch it away or even therapy it away. It’s just there, and you have to survive it. You have to endure it. You have to live through it and love it and move on and be better for it and runa s far as you can in the direction of your best and happiest dreams across the bridge that was built by your own desire to heal.” - Cheryl Strayed
VULNERABILITY is the name of the game in today's episode! What is "disclosure reciprocity"? It's that grade-school-playground game of "I’ll tell you my secret if you tell me yours!" It leads to temporal coupling which means you’re on the same wavelength! This comes from sharing personal stories. This takes courage, to share struggles, open up, and build trust, empathy, intimacy, and relationships. Tune in to catch the discussion!
"Homeostasis is the ability that your body has to return to normal after an accident. Wounds heal, blood resumes flowing, illness passes. Self-regulation can be seen as a form of resilience, since it’s the emotional ability to return to equilibrium after a disruption. For individuals growing up under chronic stress or pervasive trauma, their ‘normal equilibrium’ is different from the average. They tend towards more disorganization and lack of emotional stability. It takes tremendous effort - psychologically and physiologically - to manage their lack of stability. In other words, their capacity for self-regulation is inhibited. We can presume this in turn decreases their resilience." ---Kathy Kain
Raise your hand if you've ever had a knock out verbal spar and won!....in your head??? This episode is all about those times when you live out a scene in your head to your satisfaction. You say the perfect comeback, imagine the perfect tableau, and get to change the narrative of reality. Why are these daydreams so seductive to our psyche? Are they damaging? How can we learn from these practices? Tune in to a brand new episode of Snug and Shady!
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The ULTIMATE Christmas bingo card! Get it now! https://www.etsy.com/listing/1124671695/christmas-bingo-pdf?ref=shop_home_active_1
The holidays are upon us, friends! Some of us have difficult family dynamics to navigate, some of us are spending the holidays alone, and some of us are crankin up the Hallmark Christmas Movie dial! This episode is for everyone who's got family to manage and boundaries to enforce. Welcome to all our new listeners! What is your favorite holiday tradition? Email us at SnugAndShady@gmail.com !
Are you a people pleaser? Is it a facet of your life to do what makes others happy? Do you put others before yourself... to an unhealthy amount? We discuss the line between people pleasing and compassion, empathy, and boundaries. It's good to be a helpful person! But you cannot give from an empty well. People pleasing started as parent pleasing!
Toxic Positivity! You've heard about it, you probably know a little something about it.... but what's wrong with being positive?? Isn't that a sign of good mental health to look for the bright side? Tune in this week and learn about this grey area of mental health and social media. Learn about why it takes a level of self awareness to acknowledge sad times, but keep moving forward. And thank you for 50 episodes!!
Happy Halloweeeeeen! We bring you a special spooky episode -- emotional vampires! These are the "people that act like everything is a CRISIS!" The people who suck you dry of your energy, your emotions, your will to be compassionate. Do you have these people in your life? Have you ever been one?! (We fully admit to being energy vampires from time to time... yikes!) It's hard to see it in yourself. It's even harder to enforce boundaries on these people in your life! Tune in to this goofy but helpful episode. Tell us what you think!
"Choosing the easy road doesn't lead to growth, it leads to mediocrity. It's not about avoiding the struggle, it's about developing the ability to thrive in it." Justin Su'a
What does it mean to build an exceptional life life? What does a purposeful and fulfilled life look like to you? If you believed that anything was possible, what does your dream life look like? Join the discussion!
In this episode, Calvin and Cynthia discuss the issues surrounding social media. What are the pros and cons? Is it all bad? Is it all good? How does it impact your mental health, and your life, and your long term goals? So many of us spend vast amounts of time with a screen in front of our face. What does that do to our mental health? if "consumption kills creativity," what is this doing to our lives? Join the discussion this week!
This week we discuss the book "What Happened to You?" by Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah. This book explores human behavior thru the lens of seeking to understand the present by shedding light on the past. As Shakespeare once wrote, "What's past is prologue." So much of human behavior can be understood and dealt with once we approach interactions with compassion for past events. We cover stories from the book that stayed with us, discuss how some current behaviors reflect past cultural norms, and how that impacts us in our daily life. Join the discussion now!
What do you do when you only have a minute to pull it together? Five minutes? 30 Minutes? A whole day? Some of us experience moments where we only have a minute to get back on top of our mental health, while others might get a bit more room to recalibrate. This week, we discuss our own practices for wellness and how we stay on top of our therapy when the going gets tough. Tune in now! And let us know what you do when you're short on time!
Join us this week for another special guest - Melissa! An instant friend of Calvin's, they connected on a hilarious and wonderful level during a service trip! Melissa brings great insight into licensed professional therapy, the need for everyone to go to therapy, and how deeply we are affected by the systems in our lives. There is brokenness in our systems, and when we see it, we have the tools to fix it - forgiveness, boundaries, and intention.
"There is relief in knowing what you can't control." - Melissa
Join the discussion today!
Buy the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Leadership-Self-Deception-Getting-Out-Box/dp/1576750949/ref=sr_1_5?crid=K5ZUXFV15GTB&dchild=1&keywords=leadership+and+self+deception+by+the+arbinger+institute&qid=1628349874&s=books&sprefix=leadership+and+self%2Cstripbooks%2C196&sr=1-5
Buy The Book! https://www.amazon.com/Attached-Science-Adult-Attachment-YouFind/dp/1585429139
Please see: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk M.D.
A Wild Karen is a modern curiosity. Calvin and Cynthia discuss those women who have public freak-outs and rage on people for seemingly ridiculous reasons. You've seen them on Facebook, Youtube, Instagram, and you've probably thought "I would never do that!"
So join discussion on what makes a Karen, how they get to be that way, and how you can avoid ever turning to that behavior. Available now!
Ram Dass “When you go out into the woods, and you look at trees, you see all these different trees. Some are bent, and some are straight, and some are evergreens, and some are whatever. And you look at the tree and you allow it. You see why it is the way it is. You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light so it turned that way. And you don’t get all emotional about it. You just allow it. You appreciate the tree. The minute you get near humans, you lose all that. And you are constantly saying ‘you are too this, or I’m too that.’ that judgment mind comes in. And so I practice turning people into trees. Which means appreciating them just the way they are.”
“What seems like a reaction to some present circumstance is, in fact, a reliving of past emotional experience.” - Gabor Mate` What are you doing currently that is simply an expression of unhealed trauma? How can confronting that past heal your future?
Calvin and Cynthia discuss those factors that help build resilience, what it takes to be resilient, and times in their lives they have had to be resilient. Resilience is a quality indicator of mental health and the ability to be flexible and learn as you go. Join us this week for the discussion!
Calvin and Cynthia discuss how to clean up your social life! From breaking up with friends, to moving through phases of your life, to not letting the past keep you from moving forward. Don't let people who pull you down stay in your life! Plus, the hosts discuss their real-life encounter with the hottest guy in town.
Calvin and Cynthia finally - FINALLY - reveal the meaning of life. Or, more aptly, reveal what the path to a meaningful life looks like. Hint: it is not in your comfort zone!!
Calvin and Cynthia discuss the damaging thought pattern of "I'll be happy when...." In the profound words of Denzel Washington, "Be careful what you wish for, because when it rains, you have to deal with the mud." There are two sides to every coin. So let's discuss!
In a special episode, Calvin and Cynthia discuss creativity! How can being creative help you resolve your mental health issues? How can you become a more creative person? Creativity is a skill you can learn! It isn't some ethereal genie that comes and goes to the blessed few. Listen to learn more about how developing creativity can improve your professional life, personal relationships, and future outlook!
Calvin and Cynthia discuss the quote by Ilchi Lee, "The times when you train your body and overcome your limitations are moments when you encounter your true self and feel with your whole body that you are truly alive.” Join us for a discussion of those times we faced our own limiting beliefs, and how we work daily to overcome them. What limiting behaviors do you have? How are you holding yourself back? Listen now to find out!
Calvin and Cynthia talk about times they have received the most unhelpful advice, and how NOT to be one of those people.
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Episode Notes: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201805/the-internal-blame-game-how-you-re-war-yourself
"On the one hand, we have the "inner critic"—the derogatory voice inside you that’s always on your case, blaming you for your deficiencies, whether real or imagined. On the other hand, we have what I’ll call the “outer critic,” regularly provoking your criticism - or anger - toward others, so (however deviously) you can get back at those originally responsible for your emotional suffering. "
Calvin and Cynthia discuss childhood environments and behaviors that are causing trouble in your adulthood. Did you have contentious parents? Were your emotions invalidated? Are your current relationships fraught with tension and you can't figure out why? Tune in this week to shed some light on these issues.
Calvin and Cynthia discuss the dangers of shame- and fear-based living. Join us for a discussion on the path to healing, which starts in self-love!
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NYT Article: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/03/smarter-living/how-to-improve-self-confidence.html
Calvin tells Cynthia a personal story about the role of unresolved trauma. Together, they discuss how refusing to deal with problems has a ripple effect.
Calvin and Cynthia discuss how mindset and focus affect your purpose in life. Learn new techniques to improve your outlook!
Calvin and Cynthia discuss environments and mental habits that inflate anxiety and how to overcome them! Do you catastrophize? Do you overgeneralize? Is it harming your mental health? Join us for a discussion on methods to relieve these practices and move forward with clarity.
You inherit your physical characteristics; why not inherit some emotional characteristics too? In this episode, Calvin and Cynthia discuss the role of normailzed childhood environments that impact your adult emotional capacity and coping mechanisms. You can end these unhealthy patterns and leave a healthy legacy.
Calvin and Cynthia discuss the real reason so many people hate therapy. Hint: you need to find a therapist who can successfully help you co-regulate! You're never going to open up to someone you don't trust, you know?
“Take your thoughts hostage, not the other way around.” -Alisha Barnes
Reference: https://medium.com/the-mission/a-practical-hack-to-combat-negative-thoughts-in-2-minutes-or-less-cc3d1bddb3af
Calvin and Cynthia get into the tea! An open discussion on toxic relationships, how to recognize and deal with them, how to improve, how to make sure YOU are not a toxic person!
Calvin and Cynthia discuss their most potent tools from their own mental health journeys, including group therapy, visualization, CBT, and positive reinforcement. Join the discussion!
“You can never get enough of what you don't need, because what you don't need won't satisfy you.” -Dallin Oaks
Calvin and Cynthia discuss the stigma of mental health and therapy. Introducing a new podcast that works to end that stigma, and provide a platform for others to discuss their own mental health journey!
“Just because a company pays you, doesn't mean they own you.” -CEO Jason Fried
Viktor Frankl - Man's Search For Meaning
New Podcast launching February 15th! Join us for a tour through the Mental Health Museum, with your hosts, Calvin and Cynthia!