Table Talks with the Tares: Recent Episodes
The Honest Underscore
Tired people don't tend to slow down. They speed up, cram more in, and stay up late trying to claw back the little time that they have to themselves. We came home from vacation and did exactly that. So what actually gets you back to rest? In this episode we talk through what we had to clear out, the rhythms we knew we needed to lock in, and the one we kept treating as optional until it wrecked us.
Resources:
Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives
Continue the conversation:
→ Your Next Listen: Ep. 79 — How I Cured my Insomnia: After 4 Years & 3 Doctors — If bedtime is the piece you keep losing, this one goes into the four years and three doctors it took Ash to find what was actually keeping her awake, and it was not what either of us expected.
New drop on Mondays. If this helped, pass it along to help someone else or leave a review. It’s the best way to help more people see their underscore, too.
Stay connected: 🌐 http://honestunderscore.com
📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we give the field notes version of the things we’re learning at the table so we can recalibrate what we mean to do with what actually shows up. [Let me into The Greenroom]
✉️ Something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → hello@honestunderscore.com. We always enjoy hearing from you.
Mid haircut, MJ's barber asked: how do you know you're compatible with someone? Isn’t that what everyone wonders going into a relationship? This may sound crazy, but we've come to think it's the wrong question to ask.
Compatibility asks where you match, and you’ll most likely tend to get along where you agree. So, we started asking something different: what are our differences, and can we actually live in unity with them? And underneath that: what if your differences were never working against you, but part of what makes each of you better?
Drawing on our How We Love series (ep. 25- 28) we walk through the questions that have reshaped how we see our own marriage, so you can start asking better ones about yours.
Resources:
How We Love
https://howwelove.com/
Our “How We Love” series - episodes 25-28. Start here: How We Love & Argue
Continue the conversation:
→ Your Next Listen: Ep. 183 — Designed to Disagree: Why Your Spouse's Pushback is Actually an Asset — Your spouse pushes back, everything in you braces. Turns out that friction is part of the design, not the flaw, and maybe the thing that helps make you both better.
New drop every Monday. If this one helped, pass it along to help someone else or leave us a review. It’s the best way to help more people see their underscore, too.
Stay connected: 🌐 http://honestunderscore.com
📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we give the field notes version of the things we’re learning at the table so we can recalibrate what we mean to do with what actually shows up. [Let me into The Greenroom]
✉️ Something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → hello@honestunderscore.com. We always enjoy hearing from you.
Anger is one of those things you probably don't think you struggle with. But when someone lets you down, do you go cold? Get short? Decide it's not worth bringing up and tell yourself you're being the bigger person? That's the case for us.
Then Ash read a book about how anger shows up. Some of it is loud, a hammer knocking down walls. But it shows up in more insidious ways too: resentment, dismissiveness, ignoring people, all of which feel more respectful in the moment but work like water damage behind the walls, silently destroying the integrity of the whole structure.
We all deal with anger. And we should get angry at injustice and harm towards others. But how we handle it shapes our relationships more than we might think.
Resources:
Books Mentioned:
Uprooting Anger: Biblical Help for a Common Problem
Continue the conversation:
→ Your Next Listen: Ep. 182 — Don't Tear Down What You Spent all Week Building — 187 names one silent way we tear down what we've built, and 182 flips it, showing that on the exhausting days when you can't add a thing, just keeping the walls standing still counts as moving forward.
New drop every Monday. If this one helped, pass it along to help someone else or leave us a review. It’s the best way to help more people see their underscore, too.
Stay connected: 🌐 http://honestunderscore.com
📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we give the field notes version of the things we’re learning at the table so we can recalibrate what we mean to do with what actually shows up. [Let me into The Greenroom]
✉️ Something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → hello@honestunderscore.com. We always enjoy hearing from you.
You already know the prodigal son, the younger one who blows the inheritance and comes crawling home. But the story was never only about him.
There's a second son out in the field, arms crossed, who did everything right and still won't go in, and here's the part that stings: there’s a prodigal and an older brother in each of us.
In this episode we get into the divided soul, the war between what we ought to do and what we actually want, referring from Heidi White's The Divided Soul: Duty and Desire in Literature and Life to name this split that runs through each of us. You'll walk away with a clearer pulse on your own battle between duty and desire, and why wholeness isn't about picking a side.
Resources:
The Story of the Prodigal Son: https://www.blueletterbible.org/esv/luk/15/11-32/s_988011
Books Mentioned:
The Divided Soul Duty and Desire in Literature and Life
Perelandra
The Last Battle
Interview with Heidi White: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sc4IrsAD_vw&t=1820s
Continue the conversation:
→ Your Next Listen: Ep. 165 — A Culture Clashing Marriage: is it Honor or is it Love? — If this episode has you noticing the divide running through your own heart, 165 follows that same split into a marriage, where two people carry completely different rules for right and wrong, honor on one side and justice on the other, and learn to build one life that holds both.
New drop every Monday. If this one helped, pass it along to help someone else or leave us a review. It’s the best way to help more people see their underscore, too.
Stay connected: 🌐 http://honestunderscore.com
📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we give the field notes version of the things we’re learning at the table so we can recalibrate what we mean to do with what actually shows up. [Let me into The Greenroom]
✉️ Something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → hello@honestunderscore.com. We always enjoy hearing from you.
What should a man aspire to?
We recently toured the Billy Graham Library. Near the end of his life, Billy Graham realized he had reached the whole world but still wished he'd given more of himself to his own family. That stayed with MJ.
In this episode he unpacks what it means to be a high agency father: a man who decides his family gets his best, even when good and worthy things are pulling for it everywhere else. Whether you're a dad, a mom, or building toward a family you haven't started yet, you'll walk away weighing where your best energy is really going, and what it looks like to aim more of it at the people God has set right in front of you.
Resources:
Article: https://jeremypryor.substack.com/p/become-a-high-agency-father
Quote: “Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.” - G. Michael Hopf, Those Who Remain
Continue the conversation:
→ Your Next Listen: Ep. 146 — Seeking the Sacred Work of Ordinary Days, What if Ordinary is the Point? — If this episode has you rethinking where your best belongs, 146 makes the quiet case that the long, messy days with little kids are exactly where it counts.
New drop every Monday. If this one helped, pass it along to help someone else or leave us a review. It’s the best way to help more people see their underscore, too.
Stay connected: 🌐 http://honestunderscore.com
📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we give the field notes version of the things we’re learning at the table so we can recalibrate what we mean to do with what actually shows up. [Let me into The Greenroom]
✉️ Something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → hello@honestunderscore.com. We always enjoy hearing from you.
Every couple has that one thing from the past that keeps coming back into the present.
For us, it surfaced right as we were getting ready to host family, with little margin left. If you've ever felt the past flare up right when life is already full, this episode meets you there. You'll watch us catch the spiral, name what's really underneath it, and find our way back. And you'll walk away with a clearer sense of how to get back on the same page faster the next time pressure hits.
Continue the conversation:
→ Your Next Listen: Ep. 172 — How to Communicate When Life is Stressful — If this one resonated, ep. 172 goes back to what keeps you steady and on the same team when stress becomes the season you're living in.
New drop every Monday. If this one helped, pass it along to help someone else or leave us a review. It’s the best way to help more people see their underscore, too.
Stay connected: 🌐 http://honestunderscore.com
📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we give the field notes version of the things we’re learning at the table so we can recalibrate what we mean to do with what actually shows up. [Let me into The Greenroom]
✉️ Something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → hello@honestunderscore.com. We always enjoy hearing from you.
What if the pushback is the point?
Your spouse pushes back, and the instinct is to get defensive. Genesis calls a spouse a helper, but the Hebrew means something closer to a helper who stands opposite you. The friction isn't a glitch. It's the design.
We get into how to turn all that pushback into something you build with, instead of something you brace against.
Resources:
Jeremy Pryor’s Article: A Companion Who Helps and Opposes
Our morning meetings: What Business Meetings Taught Me About Running a Home — The Honest Underscore
Continue the conversation:
→ Your Next Listen: 174 - Rest or Prep: The Sunday Night Tension — The 3 questions that took the tension out of Sunday evenings before a new week hits.
New drop every Monday. If this one helped, pass it along to help someone else or leave us a review. It’s the best way to help more people see their underscore, too.
Stay connected: 🌐 The Honest Underscore | Discover Your Path - Start Today
📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we give the field notes version of the things we’re learning at the table so we can recalibrate what we mean to do with what actually shows up. [Let me into The Greenroom]
✉️ Something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → hello@honestunderscore.com. We always enjoy hearing from you.
Some days are for laying bricks. Others are for making sure you’re not tearing down the walls.
Some days we feel like we’re nailing it. Other days are monotonous, exhausting, and frustrating and suddenly we’re showing up in ways we didn’t mean. Anyone else?
Proverbs 14:1 gives clear warning that a wise woman builds her house, while a foolish ones tears it down with her own hands. So, even on the unproductive and exhausting days, remember that not tearing down the walls is still moving you forward.
Resources:
Bible verse: “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” Proverbs 14:1
Resources referenced:
• Book 1 — Amazon
Continue the conversation:
→ Your Next Listen: Ep. 153 — Why Running Without Margin Always Catches Up — “Even ‘good’ things produce pain when they exceed our capacity.” - Richard Swenson, M.D.
New drop every Monday. If this one helped, pass it along to help someone else or leave us a review. It’s the best way to help more people see their underscore, too.
Stay connected: 🌐 The Honest Underscore | Discover Your Path - Start Today
📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we give the field notes version of the things we’re learning at the table so we can recalibrate what we mean to do with what actually shows up. [Let me into The Greenroom]
✉️ Something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → hello@honestunderscore.com. We always enjoy hearing from you.
Most family stress doesn't come from the big moments. It shows up in the ordinary transition moments nobody has a clear plan for.
In this episode, we get honest about the 4 daily transitions that were derailing our family life. Not because our kids were misbehaving, but because the expectations were never actually taught. They were just repeated. Every. Single. Day.
We talk about what was missing, the visual system we built to close the gap, and how our kids have risen to the responsibility of running their own routines and looking out for each other.
You'll walk away with:
- Why repeating expectations daily usually isn't a discipline problem, it's a training problem
- How we identified the 4 transitions where everything was breaking down and what was actually missing
- The visual tool that made everything clear, reduced the barking orders, and taught our kids to take real ownership of their routines
Grab the Free Resource:The Daily Rhythm Charts: Family Bundle -includes editable visual routine charts for ages 2–10 to help your kids take ownership of daily routines.
Grab your free printable bundle and watch your kids rise to it.
→ Daily Rhythm Charts: Family Bundle
Book Referenced:* Fantastic Mr. Fox
Continue the conversation:
→ Your Next Listen: Ep. 170 — The Thing About Our Family that Others Notice — If transitions are the gap, this episode talks about where setting the foundation starts.
Find the gap. Fix the system. Live with purpose.
New drop every Monday. If this one helped, share it with someone who needs it or leave a review. It's the best way to help us reach more people.
Stay connected: 🌐 http://honestunderscore.com
📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we pull back the curtain on the frameworks we're testing, the gaps we've found, and the questions we can't stop thinking about. So you can see your own gaps more clearly. [Let me into The Greenroom]
✉️ Questions, reflections, or something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → hello@honestunderscore.com
The hard part isn't the fight. It's figuring out what the fight is actually about.
In this episode, we talk about what happens when an old pain gets bumped and the reaction that comes out has nothing to do with the person standing in front of you.
You'll Walk Away With
- Why some reactions feel bigger than the moment and what that might be telling you.
- What it looked like when this showed up for us and why it's hard to trace in real time.
- A question to ask before you respond that changes the whole direction of the conversation.
Continue the conversation:
→ Your Next Listen: Ep. 100: How Adoption Changed Me — If this one resonated, that one goes deeper as Ash unpacks how this can show up in parenthood, too.
Find the gap. Fix the system. Live with purpose.
New drop every Monday. If this one helped, share it with someone who needs it or leave a review. It's the best way to help us reach more people.
Stay connected: 🌐 The Honest Underscore
📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we pull back the curtain on the frameworks we're testing, the gaps we've found, and the questions we can't stop thinking about. So you can see your own gaps more clearly. [Let me into The Greenroom]
✉️ Questions, reflections, or something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → hello@honestunderscore.com
Spoiler: physical touch doesn't mean what you think it does.
In this episode, we talk about the breakdown that happens when we try to love each other well but are speaking different languages.
You'll walk away with:
- Why it’s easy to default to your own love language even when you know better
- The real moment this showed up for us and how we worked through it
- One thing to say when you can feel the conversation starting to go sideways
Continue the conversation:
→ Your Next Listen: Ep. 154 — Controlling the Controllables and a Shortcut to Real Connection — Once you know the language, this one is about what happens when you're too exhausted to speak it.
Find the gap. Fix the system. Live with purpose.
New episodes every Monday. If this one helped, share it with someone who needs it or leave a review. It's the best way to help us reach more people.
Stay connected: 🌐 The Honest Underscore
📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we pull back the curtain with one coaching insight, one lesson worth passing on, and one question to sit with. [Let me into The Greenroom]
✉️ Questions, reflections, or something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → hello@honestunderscore.com
Have you ever meant well and still missed the mark?
You didn't need a solution. You needed someone to listen and somehow that got lost.
In this episode, we dig into one of the most common friction points in any close relationship: the moment one person needs to be heard and the other instinctively tries to help. It's not a communication problem. It's a mismatch in expectations. And one small question can change everything.
You'll Walk Away With
- Why venting and asking for help aren't the same thing and why mixing them up is a wiring difference, not a character flaw
- Why the externalizer and the internal processor hear the same conversation completely differently
- Two questions that reset expectations before the conversation goes sideways
Continue the conversation:
→ Your Next Listen: Ep. 169 — It's Not What You Say, it's How You Say It — Once you know what kind of conversation you're in, this one picks up from there on tone, timing, and why the same words can land completely differently.
Find the gap. Fix the system. Live with purpose.
New episodes every Monday. If this one helped you — share it with someone who needs it or leave a review. It's the best way to help us reach more people.
Stay connected: 🌐 http://honestunderscore.com
📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we pull back the curtain on our process with one coaching insight, one lesson worth passing on, one question worth sitting with. Our job — help move your next step from uncertain to clear. [Let me into The Greenroom]
✉️ Questions, reflections, or something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → hello@honestunderscore.com
It started with MJ saying we need to take more risks as a family and somehow that turned into tent camping with a baby.
In this episode, we talk about why having strong rhythms isn't just about running a tight ship; it's what gives you the freedom to shake things up, try something hard, and actually recover from it. Plus, it’s a practical way we're teaching our kids to take measured risks.
You'll walk away with:
-
- Why your rhythms aren't a ceiling, they're a launchpad for taking risks
- If you don't know how to do the thing, just do it bad first and go from there
Resources Referenced:
- https://youtu.be/gjwofYhUJEM?si=eJ5-LePa6alYe41m
Continue the conversation:
→ Your Next Listen: Ep. 133 — The Legacy We Hope to Build, Not Raising Entitled Kids — if raising kids who embrace hard things resonates, this one goes deeper into the legacy we’re trying to build.
Find the gap. Fix the system. Live with purpose.
New episodes every Monday. If this one helped you, share it with someone who needs it or leave a review. It's the best way to help us reach more people.
Stay connected: 🌐 http://honestunderscore.com
📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we pull back the curtain on our process with one coaching insight, one lesson worth passing on, one question worth sitting with. Our job — help move your next step from uncertain to clear. [Let me into The Greenroom]
✉️ Questions, reflections, or something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → hello@honestunderscore.com
Good intentions don’t automatically create the outcome you hope for.
MJ tried to give Ash a break but the rest didn't actually restore. In this episode we unpack why good intentions miss when people recharge differently, and the real difference between rest and restoration.
You'll walk away with:
- How loving your partner well means learning how they refuel
- The difference between rest and restoration, and why choosing what you need over what you want is sometimes harder than it sounds
Continue the conversation:
→ Your Next Listen: Ep. 12 — The Sabbath: Our Foundational Rhythm— if this episode stirred something in you about rest, this is where we share the rhythm that's anchored our family for years.
Find the gap. Fix the system. Live with purpose.
New episodes every Monday. If this one helped you — share it with someone who needs it or leave a review. It's the best way to help us reach more people.
Stay connected: 🌐 http://honestunderscore.com
📩 Enjoyed the episode? The conversation goes deeper in The Greenroom. Once a month we pull back the curtain on our process with one coaching insight, one lesson worth passing on, one question worth sitting with. Our job — help move your next step from uncertain to clear. [Let me into The Greenroom]
✉️ Questions, reflections, or something from this episode hit home? Send it our way → hello@honestunderscore.com
This episode is for everyone who's doing the right things and still feels like they're running behind because that's been us lately.
We're getting honest about what happens when the timeline you set for bouncing back from postpartum (your health, your family rhythms, your social life) just doesn't hold. Spoiler: ours hasn’t.
Here's what we're unpacking:
- Why “bouncing back” takes longer than we want to admit
- What it looks like to actually meet each other where we are
- Learning to say no without guilt
If you've ever looked at your life and thought it shouldn't be this hard, welcome to the table.
Continue the conversation:
→ Your Next Listen: Ep. 169 — It's Not What You Say, It's How You Say It — Because saying the right thing the wrong way still misses. This is a must-listen on how tone, timing, and delivery can completely change the message in your marriage.
Find the gap. Fix the system. Live with purpose.
New episodes every week. If this one helped, share it with someone who needs it, or leave a review. It's the best way to help us reach more people navigating the same things.
Stay connected: 🌐 honestunderscore.com
📩 Monthly newsletter: one problem, one framework, one thing to try differently. Subscribe here.
✉️ hello@honestunderscore.com
Sunday nights started feeling kinda tense… like we were already behind before Monday even hit.
We realized it wasn’t our schedule, it was us being out of sync. Different expectations, missed communication, and all the other little stuff that adds up fast.
So, we started asking 3 simple questions before the week starts. It’s helped us get on the same page and cut down a lot of unnecessary friction.
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/155-how-we-navigate-a-low-capacity-season-as-a-family/id1661247515?i=1000741341988
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
Giving a real time health update and what it’s actually been like after 3 pregnancies. We talk about the pressure to “bounce back,” why we’re pushing against it, and what a slower, more sustainable approach to health looks like. If you’ve ever felt stuck and discouraged when it comes to your health journey, this one’s for you.
Resources mentioned:
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/167-when-you-find-out-your-spouse-has-adhd/id1661247515?i=1000753984829
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
How do you handle stress in your relationship and how do you show up when your spouse is the one feeling it? This week we’re talking about how we’ve learned (and are still learning) to navigate stress without letting it take over. From recognizing each other’s signals to supporting without fixing, we’re sharing what’s helped us stay grounded and connected when life feels a little chaotic.
Resources mentioned:
Quote: “God hasn’t just sent you to do his work in the lives of your children; he will use the lives of your children to advance his work in you.” - Paul David Tripp
Parenting Books:
https://a.co/d/00jzeS56
https://a.co/d/09fpFzus
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-6-its-all-about-communication/id1661247515?i=1000593165224
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
We just celebrated 10 years of marriage with a cabin trip… and brought all three kids along. 😅 It was a blast and also a little reality check. We’re debriefing what we expected vs. what actually happened, where we maybe overshot things for this season, and how we’re learning to adjust expectations so they match real life with littles. If you’ve ever tried to make something special happen and ended up equal parts grateful and exhausted, you’ll feel this one.
Resources mentioned:
Tim Keller Sermon: https://podcast.gospelinlife.com/e/the-power-of-jesus/
https://a.co/d/03uUlTsX
https://a.co/d/04lV5RnT
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/137-have-kids-early-and-often-what-i-think-about-that/id1661247515?i=1000721492279
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
Everyone says they need more margin, but who actually takes time to create it? In this conversation, we talk about how stacking small habits has helped us build rhythms that create real buffer in our lives. Not perfectly, but enough to breathe, rest, be present with our kids, and show up for others without feeling constantly maxed out. If your life feels full to the brim, this one might give practical insight for one small step to take in carving out buffer.
Resources mentioned:
https://a.co/d/0dEzCjNc
Not mentioned in this episode but a good read on this topic:
https://a.co/d/09d8smm9
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/153-why-running-without-margin-always-catches-up-to-you/id1661247515?i=1000739111663
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
We’re talking about how love and respect land differently in marriage and how that showed up in a recent conflict for us. Turns out, it’s not just what you say but how you say it that matters too. We unpack how tone, timing, and delivery can completely change the message, and what we’re learning about speaking in a way so the other person feels respected. Based on a recent conversation we had, you’re welcome to take a seat at the table!
Resources mentioned:
Book: https://a.co/d/05HbN4NS
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/166-that-is-not-my-job-relationship-expectations-10-years-in/id1661247515?i=1000752481369
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
In this episode, we talk about the tension of speaking truthfully while still speaking lovingly, especially when dealing with people who have narcissistic tendencies. We share some of what we’ve learned through living with Gram and navigating those dynamics day to day. It’s an honest conversation about compassion, speaking truthfully but lovingly, and how we try to hold both at the same time.
Resources mentioned: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sOw80NVm3g
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-119-how-to-avoid-getting-sucked-into-a/id1661247515?i=1000702501261
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com
It’s crazy how two people can live the same parenting moment and have totally different instincts. In this episode, we talk about how our differences show up in real time especially with ADHD in the mix. From structure vs. spontaneity to handling everyday chaos, we unpack where our approaches complement each other and where we think, “Wait… you’re doing what?”
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/160-how-were-building-health-habits-that-actually-stick/id1661247515?i=1000745729960
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
Why do we hesitate to ask for help and how do we know if we’re actually showing up well in our roles as husband, wife, mom, or dad? In this episode, we put those questions on the table. We talk through expectations we carry, the reality of limited capacity, and how we’re learning to meet each other’s needs without keeping score. It’s an honest conversation about roles, communication, and working as a team instead of running on empty.
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/164-married-to-your-financial-opposite-designer-versus/id1661247515?i=1000749958707
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
Ever notice how the same situation can feel completely different to two people? In this episode, we talk about how our differences don’t just come from personality but culture too. Growing up with NY and Filipino backgrounds means we often interpret conflict, respect, and even apologies in totally different ways. We unpack the Western justice/guilt framework vs. the honor/shame perspective common in many Eastern cultures, and how understanding this has helped us better understand each other.
Next episode recommended: Ep 18 Relationships: Speaking the Truth in Love, Individualism vs Collectivism
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: The Honest Underscore.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
In this episode, we realized we don’t actually think about “stuff” the same way. One of us leans toward practicality… the other notices the brand. What is that really about? We talk through how status subtly pulls on us, how it shows up in purchases and preferences, and why certain things feel important even when we know they probably shouldn’t.
Resources mentioned:
Watch: Panthère de Cartier watch
Fresh Avocado Vine
Books:
You Are What You Love: The Spiritual Power of Habit
The Overcomers: God's Vision for You to Thrive in an Age of Anxiety and Outrage
Funkin Park: Linkin Park's - Greatest Hits (If they were FUNK)
Next episode recommended: Ep 113 - Who should say sorry first? When honor/shame and justice/guilt cultures get married.
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: The Honest Underscore.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
Valentine’s Day hits different when you’re sleep-deprived and surrounded by tiny humans! In this episode, we reflect on how love looked when we first started dating vs. what connection looks like now in a low capacity season. From shifting expectations to finding small moments that matter, we talk about how we keep choosing each other through every stage of life.
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/154-controlling-the-controllables-and-a-shortcut/id1661247515?i=1000740203183
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
In this episode, we’re talking about our approach to homeschooling and why we’ve fallen in love with the Homeschool Made Simple method. It’s research-based, interest-led, and literature rich which has brought so much simplicity, freedom, and actual joy to our days.
Whether you're deep in homeschool life or just curious what it could look like, we’re pulling back the curtain on what’s worked, what’s surprised us, and how we’ve made learning a natural part of our family rhythm.
Resources mentioned:
Homeschool Made Simple: https://homeschoolmadesimple.net/
Homeschool Philosophy: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/212-homeschool-made-simple-educational-philosophy-in/id1506875183?i=1000654143902
Morning Rhythm Resources:
https://a.co/d/9R5IXQ4
https://a.co/d/evd1wem
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/158-how-to-make-screen-time-a-non-issue-family-health-reset/id1661247515?i=1000743802873
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
In this episode, we open up about how we think about money, what matters to us, what systems have worked in different seasons, and what still trips us up (spoiler: it’s not just the coffee budget). We’re sharing the real talk behind aligning priorities and figuring out finances as a team. If money convos usually stress you out, this one’s for you.
Resources mentioned:
Budgeting app mentioned: https://www.monarch.com/
Budgeting app we actually use: https://goodbudget.com/
Driving app mentioned: https://comma.ai/openpilot
Mimetic desire: https://a.co/d/6dQ1nDF
Inside joke: https://www.tiktok.com/@ladbible/video/7555943643681410337
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/128-are-we-good-money-marriage-miscommunication/id1661247515?i=1000712071408
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
In this episode, we’re breaking down where we’re at with our health goals. We talk about our journey from keto to strength training, what postpartum has looked like the 3rd time around, and how we’re (slowly) able to prioritize working out again without going to extremes. If you’re trying to get back into a rhythm with your health and need a reminder that slow is still progress, this one’s for you.
Resources mentioned:
https://stronglifts.com/
https://fasterwaytofatloss.com/?utm_term=&utm_campaign=Google+Display:+Acquire+New+Users&utm_source=adwords&utm_medium=ppc&hsa_acc=5085131482&hsa_cam=23285086799&hsa_grp=&hsa_ad=&hsa_src=x&hsa_tgt=&hsa_kw=&hsa_mt=&hsa_net=adwords&hsa_ver=3&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23285088428&gbraid=0AAAAACzsm0YueGBxf5_p3u65jx10OK37l&gclid=Cj0KCQiAprLLBhCMARIsAEDhdPfnq46JGoNRrHzBeKoKmAWhe2oGubqIvfNdQOdG2l01bXOgSeDtSdYaAoufEALw_wcB
https://www.mindpumpmedia.com/maps-fitness-individual-programs?gc_id=22795775976&h_ga_id=181300227486&h_ad_id=792699586949&h_keyword_id=kwd-462919115013&h_keyword=mind%20pump%20media&h_placement=&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22795775976&gbraid=0AAAAADhtWENdDpAE1QWxGw4orgvXzs0cz&gclid=Cj0KCQiAprLLBhCMARIsAEDhdPc4cB6KbiJTAnZFsGh6G45izIiZARY6IiKUbRuJqEaUexvlXUCPnBMaArgCEALw_wcB
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-9-the-1-conflict-in-our-relationship-probably/id1661247515?i=1000597249218
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
We’re kicking off a new series all about setting realistic goals for our family and individually. In this episode, we unpack how our approach to goal-setting has shifted this year being less about crushing checklists and more about cultivating the kind of people we want to become. We’re talking habit-based goals, rightly ordering our loves, and getting clear on wha’s actually important in this season.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to “do it all,” this one’s for you.
Resources mentioned:
https://www.blueletterbible.org/nlt/1th/4/11-12/s_1115011
https://www.blueletterbible.org/esv/2co/3/18/s_1081018
https://a.co/d/goo4rGW
https://a.co/d/gbWxbvL
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/146-seeking-the-sacred-work-of-ordinary-days-what/id1661247515?i=1000731579553
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
We’re kicking off the year by talking about where we’re at with tech and health in our home because to be honest, both could use a reset. From managing screen time with our kids to realizing we’ve been leaning hard into convenience (hello, Chick-Fil-A nugs), we’re reflecting on what’s working, what’s not, and the one degree changes we’re making to feel more like ourselves again. If you’re needing a health revamp too, listen in!
Bible verse:
2 Corinthians 3:18
And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.
Brazo de Mercedes recipe we used: https://panlasangpinoy.com/brazo-de-mercedes-cake-recipe/
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-107-artificial-intelligence-pondering-the-correct/id1661247515?i=1000683768395
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
As we wrap up the year, we’re reflecting on the rhythms that helped us keep our sanity in a season of constant unpredictability. From cozy book moments with the kids (thank you, Christmas gifts) to kitchen chaos trying to recreate Gram’s iconic cookies, we’re reflecting on what worked, what didn’t, and what we want more of in the new year.
Resources mentioned:
Book: https://a.co/d/1FJK5e0
Love Style Episodes:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-25-how-we-love-argue-the-vacillator-how-it-affects/id1661247515?i=1000613984775
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-26-how-mj-loves-the-avoider-what-i-would-tell-my/id1661247515?i=1000614852622
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-27-how-the-vacillator-and-avoider-collide/id1661247515?i=1000615699628
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-28-lessons-of-a-vacillator-and-avoider/id1661247515?i=1000616625402
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-119-how-to-avoid-getting-sucked-into-a/id1661247515?i=1000702501261
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
In this episode, we break down a recent conflict and how we worked through it. We talk about how ADHD shows up in our relationship especially in moments of tension, how differently we experience conflict, and the tools we’re using to move toward each other instead of away.
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/143-whats-in-my-adhd-parenting-toolkit-what-actually-helps/id1661247515?i=1000727849431
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
In this episode, we’re taking inventory. We share how we’re applying the things we’ve been learning lately to both marriage and parenting, what’s landing, what’s missing, and what needs more attention in this season. It's a real-time check-in and reminder that growth takes time.
Resources mentioned -
Books:
ADHD is Awesome: A Guide To (Mostly) Thriving With ADHD
Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans
The Joy of Slow: Restoring Balance and Wonder to Homeschool Learning
Wanting: The Power of Mimetic Desire in Everyday Life
Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives
Little Men (Puffin Classics)
The Blue Fairy Book: Illustrated by Henry Ford and G. P. Jacomb-Hood
Strong Mothers, Strong Sons: Lessons Mothers Need to Raise Extraordinary Men
The Awakening of Miss Prim: A Novel
THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE A Story for Children; the Chronicles of Narnia Volume 1
Resources that have shaped my philosophical view of education:
Homeschool Made Simple
Home - Homeschool Made Simple
The Commonplace
The Commonplace | Classical CM Home Education
Mother Academia Course: Mother Academia 2026 | (I think we're calling it a personal curriculum these days.) | Study with me!
Discipleship Course: Life On Life Discipleship
Next episode recommended: 153 - Why Running Without Margin Always Catches Up to You
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: The Honest Underscore.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
Running on fumes? Same.
In this episode, we’re talking about how lack of sleep can crank up the tension in our home and how we’ve learned to recognize and navigate it without turning on each other. It’s honest, practical, and full of the little things that help us reset when we’re running low.
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/131-embracing-lifes-lows-strategies-when-youre-not/id1661247515?i=1000715120895
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
“Rest is not indulgence, it’s obedience to how we were made.” - Dr. Richard Swenson
In this episode, we’re talking about what it actually looks like to create margin in the middle of a full life. From shifting expectations to tweaking routines, we’re sharing the small but intentional changes we’ve made to get more aligned, breathe a little easier, and make space for real rest without dropping the ball on everything else.
Resources mentioned:
Margin: https://www.amazon.com/Margin-Restoring-Emotional-Financial-Overloaded/dp/1576836827/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2DYL5S70YOAVP&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.2H01AXY9fykr5P1X3FXkwjbMUpekSUHeen7QdfZt_BN3VEaDDMHJQcCMQDZcToOYMNHEGRI8qz7QQpMq88j1S-TrkWCq_R52O_Zp5sHFCNTCIdTmeQlahY1od67ddc5-vSG5dM6jEJ0hTJ2P2Rk6TWjnq52JnPECB6E8kaFCm7Vyvko68Teyuta-iXIA6gbA3Ue7-PDrvSL-35LGHXlo2t4bhB-Y0t1oGDCXeTAitzk.IHDg5cTB3bZKo-yea9tkYNvAY-aVrR405DSZlyhACkU&dib_tag=se&keywords=margin&qid=1764547695&sprefix=margin%2Caps%2C192&sr=8-1
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/150-why-you-should-run-your-family-like-a-business/id1661247515?i=1000736086043
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
We’ve laid the groundwork with our family vision and weekly meetings, and now we’re getting intentional about the kind of values we want to pass on to our kids. In this episode, we share how we’re building a simple system to capture the truths, phrases, and principles that help steer our children’s imaginations and affections toward what is good, true, and beautiful. It’s all about turning big ideals into repeatable everyday language our family can live by.
Resources mentioned -
https://www.amazon.com/Wanting-Power-Mimetic-Desire-Everyday/dp/1250262488/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1B5KIDGM483TB&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.raziX_bpmhwc-YgbtsxDRY5c3HcE7xOx_zo-QAjZTnMXR6KYoOz1uD0sugYMFI-Dm-_ilVLu9I9HQdcMAr6rc83uhDoEBlc5sBHiUZG81EX-tdho-jSk0p9VftaGNMdUd-jANiOmo6enCsG920N-M416wx-oBdOT9d1MlTm-0JywvDBJ0caFD8yryIOijjhARt3l3hq6PBk7nN-WyJ7-7dGasuE58y9NpXWjk5q5jW8.Ugd7y5gKdPRtGzLZvVXJg_bSuvmM38hGnVdNslihqgQ&dib_tag=se&keywords=wanting&qid=1763931870&sprefix=wanting%2Caps%2C166&sr=8-1
https://www.youtube.com/@thecommonplacehomeschool/videos
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-commonplace/id1568956517
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/150-why-you-should-run-your-family-like-a-business/id1661247515?i=1000736086043
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
Family meetings with a newborn?!Yeah, it sounds kind of impossible, but somehow, we’re making it work. In this episode, we talk about how we squeeze in a family meeting, why it’s been clutch for staying connected, and how it helps us stop side-eyeing each other mid-week. It’s not perfect, but it’s been a game changer for keeping communication open and making sure we’re on the same team, especially when we’re running on fumes.
Resources mentioned:
Fitness Programs — Tony Horton Life
Yoga With Adriene
Next episode recommended: 150 - Why You Should Run Your Family Like A Business
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: The Honest Underscore.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
Let’s be real, crafting a family vision sounds great... until you’re knee-deep in diapers, dishes, and meltdowns. In this episode, we talk about why having a clear vision for our family actually does help in the chaos. From how we parent to how we set the tone in our home, naming where we’re headed brings clarity, peace, and more unity. We share how we’re trying to create language around habits and character and invite you into our process.
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-99-when-a-visionary-and-an-optimizer-make/id1661247515?i=1000676482321
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
In this episode, we share a real-life glimpse into MJ’s recent road trip… and the not-so-smooth EV charging saga that came with it. It’s light, honest, and a little too relatable if you’ve ever had plans derailed by technology. From range anxiety to recalculating plans on the fly, we’re laughing through it now, but let’s just say it wasn’t funny in the moment.
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/128-are-we-good-money-marriage-miscommunication/id1661247515?i=1000712071408
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
We just came back from a family wedding, which meant traveling with kids, staying out of routine, and all with a newborn in tow! In this episode, we talk about what we’ve learned (and are still learning) when it comes to visiting family, how we set expectations, try to keep our rhythms intact, and bounce back when everything goes off track. If you've ever felt both grateful andoverwhelmed by family time, this one’s for you.
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-95-family-dynamics-pt-7-dealing-with-transitions/id1661247515?i=1000673009125
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
Sometimes it’s not the present that’s hard, it’s the past creeping back in. In this episode, we talk about when old habits, patterns, or insecurities resurface, especially in seasons of stress or change. We share 3 ways we’ve learned to deal with the past when it reappears and how to respond with honesty, growth, and grace. Whether you're healing, navigating old triggers, or just trying to stay present, this one’s for you.
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-120-then-versus-now-comparing-the-1st-year-and/id1661247515?i=1000703445699
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
Inspired by a quote from Jane Lambert, we’re talking about what really matters when the days feel long but the years fly by. Whether it’s MJ at work or Ash at home, we both feel the weight of wanting to be fully present in this season with our kids.
In this episode, we reflect on our priorities and how we’re choosing to embrace the young years even when they’re messy, loud, and exhausting.
Quote mentioned:
“Someday, when our children are grown, very few of us will say, “I sure wish I had sold more at my job, or won more awards at work, or opened more new accounts from my employer.” But many of us may say, “I wish I had spent more time with my children when they were young.” - Jane Lambert
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/133-the-legacy-we-hope-to-build-not-raising-entitled-kids/id1661247515?i=1000717159583
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
Let’s be honest we think we know the difference between an introvert and an extrovert, but do we really? In this episode, we flip the script and let the extrovert (Ash) have the mic. We talk about how our energy needs clash, how we’ve learned to compromise (kind of), and what it looks like to love each other well when our wiring is so different. It's lighthearted, a little spicy, and definitely full of “Do we even know what we’re talking about?” moments.
Next episode recommended: 144 - What an Introvert Wishes an Extrovert Understood
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: The Honest Underscore.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
In this episode, we’re talking all things introvert vs. extrovert, specifically what it’s like when those differences show up in marriage and postpartum life. From clashing needs to figuring out how to give each other space (or connection), we share how we’ve learned to meet in the middle and what we’re still figuring out.
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/131-embracing-lifes-lows-strategies-when-youre-not/id1661247515?i=1000715120895
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
In this episode, Ash gets real about what it’s like parenting with ADHD and how she’s learned to work with her brain instead of against it. From creative hacks to honest moments of chaos, we unpack the wins, the struggles, and the systems that are actually working in this season. Whether you’re an ADHD parent or just trying to find your rhythm, this one’s full of relatable moments and practical ideas.
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-129-married-to-adhd-what-we-didnt-see-coming/id1661247515?i=1000713075597
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
We’re deep in the newborn trenches and low on sleep, short on energy, and definitely not operating at 100. In this episode, we get real about how each of us is handling this season, what we’re doing to stay present, and little hacks that are helping us make it through. It’s a conversation about surviving without burning out, giving yourself grace, and holding onto the beauty in the middle of the chaos.
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/table-talks-with-the-tares/id1661247515?i=1000722489606
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
Our 5-year-old hit us with a big question: “Why do we go to church?” In this episode, we talk about the conversation that followed and how it got us thinking about our own beliefs and the kind of example we want to set for our kids. We share our journey unpacking what it means to be the church, how our view has shifted over the years, and why we’re still choosing to show up.
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/table-talks-with-the-tares/id1661247515?i=1000705244570
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
We’re in the thick of postpartum life with baby #3, and in this episode, we’re talking about what’s working and what’s not. From the rhythms we’re surprisingly holding onto, to the ones we’ve hit pause on, we’re keeping it honest about what real life looks like right now. We also chat about our decision to bring back family meetings and how we’re trying to stay connected in the middle of the chaos. If you’re navigating change too, hopefully you’re reminded you’re not alone.
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
This time around feels different, and we’re talking about it. In this episode, we unpack what postpartum looks like with baby number 3, how our older kids are adjusting, what’s helping us stay (mostly) sane as a couple, the rhythms that are working right now… and what’s definitely on pause. If you’re in the thick of it or gearing up for your own postpartum season, this one's a real-life look at finding our footing again.
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/138-fastest-labor-yet-how-our-third-baby-almost-arrived/id1661247515?i=1000722489606
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
This birth story was wild! In this episode, we share the whirlwind arrival of our daughter, how labor kicked off fast, escalated even faster, and nearly ended with a delivery right at the ER entrance. From barely making it to the hospital to the moment she was born (in 2 hrs flat!), we’re reliving it all. If you love a good birth story or want to hear how we survived the chaos with a whole lot of adrenaline and grace, this one’s for you.
Resources mentioned:
Song: https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=9t5kSGe7rmM&si=ESzt9KenT0AiYUjU
Next episode recommended: Ep 124 Pregnant with Life, Surrounded by Loss
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: The Honest Underscore.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
This one’s honest, reflective, and maybe a little spicy. We’re talking about how our view of starting a family has changed over the past five years and what we wish we'd known back then. From cultural messaging to Biblical vision, we unpack how we’re thinking about God’s design for family, what it’s looked like for us, and the advice we’d give to couples dreaming about their future family. Whether you’ve got littles now or are still figuring out the timeline, we hope this episode gives you thoughtful perspective to consider.
Resources mentioned:
Jeremy Pryor / Family Teams Podcast: The Family Teams Podcast
Next episode recommended: 133 - The Legacy We Hope to Build, Not Raising Entitled Kids
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: The Honest Underscore.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
We're gearing up for baby #3, and that means diving headfirst into the newborn trenches… again. In this episode, we talk about what it looks like to prep for sleepless nights while still showing up for two other kids who (shocker) still need us. From setting up systems at home to keeping our marriage from combusting under pressure, this one’s real, a little raw, and full of practical thoughts if you’re about to do the newborn season all over again or maybe for the first time.
Next episode recommended: Ep 8 How Parenthood Changed Us
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: The Honest Underscore.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
We’re in the thick of it waiting for baby #3 to make her debut any day now, and this season is stretching us in ways we didn’t expect. In this episode, we talk about what it’s like to sit in the tension of anticipation, grief, and surrender all at once. We’re learning that waiting isn’t just about being still, it requires some action on our part.
If you’re in a similar season facing unknown outcomes, this one's an honest look at how we’re learning to move forward with confidence and peace.
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-95-family-dynamics-pt-7-dealing-with-transitions/id1661247515?i=1000673009125
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
This week we’re talking about something we’re actively learning in real-time ➡️ how to help our 5-year-old navigate jealousy without jumping straight to correction or shame. We share how we’re working on checking our own reactions, encouraging a family culture that welcomes vulnerability, and helping her learn to speak truth over what she’s feeling. It’s honest, messy, and hopefully encouraging if you’re in a similar season.
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-20-relationships-our-conflicting-emotions-how/id1661247515?i=1000609273371
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
It seems like everyone is buzzing about the declining birth rate and implications for the future. In this episode, we’re sharing our vision for what we want our family to be about and how we’re intentionally pushing back against the cultural messages that tell us individualism and self-expression are the ultimate goals of life. We talk about the legacy we hope to build, the roles of fatherhood and motherhood in shaping it, and how we’re learning to lead our home with purpose, not just react to what’s around us. If you’ve ever questioned the “normal” script for family life, this one’s for you.
Resources:
Podcast Episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-not-raise-entitled-kids-no-matter-how-much-you/id1447768183?i=1000715765319
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-raise-kids-who-want-to-become-parents/id1447768183?i=1000702024882
Family Teams Resources: https://familyteams.com/
Shawn Ryan Show interview with Katherine Boyle (23:50 - 40:40) - A discussion on the implications of the declining birth rate on the country’s future:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GePNdT790gU
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-57-how-to-date-as-new-parents-moving-to-a-new/id1661247515?i=1000640892554
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
After 9 years of marriage, you’d think we’d know each other pretty well—turns out, we really do. In this episode, we play a game of “Guess My Perspective” and try to predict how the other person thinks, reacts, and handles everyday situations. Spoiler: we’re more in sync than we thought.
Next episode recommended: Ep 76 - Why “Preparing for Marriage” Advice is Misleading, Reflecting on how we met, lessons from life we lived in singleness
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: The Honest Underscore.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
In this episode, we’re talking about what it looks like to keep going when you’re running on empty. We share how we each refill our tanks, what we’ve learned about showing up with limited energy and time, and why it’s okay to not be operating at 100%. If you’re in a season where even the basics feel hard, this one’s a reminder that small steps still count.
Next episode recommended: Ep 93 - Family Dynamics Pt 5: Self-Care for Parents: Finding Balance in a Busy World
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: The Honest Underscore.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
In this episode, we’re talking about what it’s really like being pregnant the third time around—how we each connect (or don’t right away) with the baby, what’s surprised us this time, and the mix of excitement and reality that comes with growing our family. We also open up about how pregnancy impacts feelings of desirability and intimacy, and how we’re learning to stay close in a season full of change.
Resources mentioned:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbmCIQHYUCs The Dumbest Things EV Owners Do - YouTube
https://honestunderscore.com/blog/duality-of-motherhood
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-111-should-household-and-parenting/id1661247515?i=1000690805482
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
In this episode, we’re opening up about Ash’s recent ADD diagnosis—what led to it, how it’s shaped her day-to-day life, and the strategies she’s learning to work with her brain instead of against it. We also talk about how it’s impacted our marriage, communication, and understanding of each other. If you’ve ever felt like your brain works a little differently (or love someone who does) — this one’s for you.
Resources mentioned:
Book: https://a.co/d/fBe66OO
Podcast episode discussing facts vs. assumptions about ADHD: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/navigating-adhd-facts-and-fiction-w-dr-stephen-faraone/id1481135244?i=1000677321080
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-79-how-i-cured-my-insomnia-after-4-years-3-doctors/id1661247515?i=1000658440692
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
In this episode, we dive into MJ’s internal debate about upgrading his Corolla to an EV—and the conversations it sparked between us. We talk about how we navigate mismatched priorities, especially when a decision feels important to one of us but not urgent to the other, and how we try to stay aligned in the decisions that shape our budget.
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/table-talks-with-the-tares/id1661247515?i=1000653897918
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
In this episode, we’re talking about why hosting matters so much to us. Back in our college days, we were shaped by families who opened their homes, made space at their tables, and poured into us in ways we’ll never forget. Now, we get to pay it forward—and invite our kids into that same rhythm of generosity. Whether hospitality comes naturally to you or feels intimidating, we hope this conversation encourages you to see the beauty in simply making room for others.
Resources mentioned:
Espresso Machine: https://www.breville.com/en-us/product/bes450
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-12-the-sabbath-our-foundational-rhythm/id1661247515?i=1000600545828
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
We don’t always see things the same way—and honestly, we used to handle that poorly.In this episode, we’re talking about how we’ve learned to disagree without turning it into a battle. From staying curious to asking better questions, we’ve found that it’s totally possible to have different opinions and still stay connected. If you’ve ever struggled to have hard conversations without things getting heated, this one’s for you.
Resources mentioned: https://a.co/d/ji98x7s
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-6-its-all-about-communication/id1661247515?i=1000593165224
Table Talks with the Tares: where we explore how to close the gap between what we intend and what we do, one honest conversation at a time.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
In this episode, we’re diving into Reddit’s most unpopular parenting opinions and sharing our own hot takes. We’re weighing in on what we agree with, what made us laugh, and what we’re still figuring out. It’s honest, lighthearted, and a fun look at the many ways to parent.
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-17-relationships-shoulder-to-shoulder-vs-face-to/id1661247515?i=1000606081801
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
In this episode, we open up about what it’s been like to walk through pregnancy while carrying the weight of recent losses. We talk about how grief has impacted Ash’s mindset, fears she’s working through, and how we’re learning to support each other through it all. If you’ve ever found yourself wrestling with self-doubt, feeling stuck, or wondering if you have what it takes to overcome an obstacle—this one’s for you.
Resources mentioned:
Dwell App: https://dwellapp.io/
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-84-when-grief-hits-conversations-on-loss-and-hope/id1661247515?i=1000663667298
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
This week, we’re getting super practical in walking through how we practice discipleship in our home. We talk about weekly rhythms like Sabbath, how we use holidays to point our kids to Jesus, and tools we’ve found helpful for letting our faith drive our weekly rhythms.
Resources:
Book: https://a.co/d/gDpWZyk
Resurrection Eggs: https://www.amazon.com/FAMILYLIFE-Family-Life-Resurrection-Anniversary/dp/B0CTGT7PY3?crid=125RUMJB3N034&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.1Q_mqOm90pGHvUmxSA9qVpLWHzCLyDtlhLUo5f0Ztio-Wut4ngWImO_bbzpsI8iSGvKvYf8ThhBYs-ZKdSMiOLSpivTBxhs7zlujQdr_LazOehA8mq6clxt4BgZHcirh4nnXyaJVpy01H9YkQTbz5KPLsTKwS4gKuas581-72UQF_eo6g3lCiiONnVjk4iFbCw3DQenNzTEvoFqCKjThtD5mZQhxvImQddJAwmyACtL8V-b0vxRjzuqmHg1LVRIzUX-6Qk9K2RW457t9xxvMfEwQ1onRh29mdUxcCMPvieM.8YkWQUJIVzcrc4fEOuPfy7xrTnOTmzOcxNu8thwBhng&dib_tag=se&keywords=resurrection%2Beggs&qid=1746413399&sprefix=resu%2Caps%2C168&sr=8-1&th=1
Easter Book: https://a.co/d/cjUAmQ7
Character Cards: https://septemberandco.com/collections/character/products/character-matters-cards?variant=37440423428258
The Family Teams Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-family-teams-podcast/id1447768183
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-89-family-dynamics-series-part-1-keeping-the-spark/id1661247515?i=1000668034998
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
This episode we’re sharing a really special moment—a simple conversation with our daughter that turned into her confession of faith. We talk about what it looks like to have real, ordinary faith conversations with our kids, how the way we love them shapes the way they see God, and what it means for us to model repentance and trust in God for them.
Resources mentioned:
Book: https://a.co/d/hcSrUdM
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-111-should-household-and-parenting/id1661247515?i=1000690805482
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
We’re back with Part 2 of our marriage rewind—picking up where we left off and diving deeper into how our perspectives, habits, and relationship dynamics have evolved over the last 9 years. If you enjoyed Part 1, this one’s even more fun. Let’s just say… growth is humbling. 😅
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-120-then-versus-now-comparing-the-1st-year-and/id1661247515?i=1000703445699
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
We just hit 9 years of marriage, so we’re taking a fun look back at year 1 on all the ways life has changed since and what we’ve learned along the way.
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-70-8-years-strong-part-1-reviewing-reddits-marriage/id1661247515?i=1000651760696
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
Visit our website: http://www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
In this episode, we’re diving into what it looks like to recognize narcissistic traits in someone and how to set healthy boundaries without losing yourself in the process. Ash talks through some of the signs, the emotional toll it can take, and what it looks like to navigate those relationships with clarity and compassion. If you’ve ever felt drained, second-guessed your instincts, or struggled to maintain your peace around someone with a strong personality, we hope this arms you with the right tools to navigate these treacherous paths.
Next episode recommended: Ep 55 - Breaking inter generational habits in parenting, differences we’ve observed in how we individually approach being a mom and a dad
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
Visit our website: The Honest Underscore.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
In this episode, we pick up where we left off and dive into part 2 of our discipleship conversation—this time unpacking the idea that discipleship is more like a lab, or apprenticeship, than a lecture process. It’s meant to involve on-the-job training that exposes the vulnerable parts of your life where you are obeying and following Jesus. If you’ve been wondering whether or not you’ve been obedient to the mandate for discipleship, we hope this encourages you.
Resources mentioned:
Podcast episode: Redefining Discipleship: A Blueprint for Life on Life
Part 1 of this series: Ep 117 - Discipleship in 2025. So what is it really?
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
Visit our website: The Honest Underscore.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
We’ve been asking ourselves: What does discipleship really look like in 2025?
After listening to a podcast episode by Jeremy Prior on life-on-life discipleship, we’ve found ourselves rethinking what it means to be a disciple-maker.
This episode is raw and honest and full of real-time processing. If you’ve ever felt like discipleship should be more than a Bible study and a once-a-month coffee, this conversation is for you.
Resources mentioned:
Podcast episode: Redefining Discipleship: A Blueprint for Life on Life
Next episode recommended: Ep 110 - Is the Great Commission for Everyone? What it means to make disciples.
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
Visit our website: The Honest Underscore.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
In this episode Ashley interviews MJ to get his take and experience being married to a vacillator. We discuss the experience in our marriage over the last 9 years and the journey of a vacillator/avoider couple.
Resources mentioned:
Book: How We Love, Expanded Edition: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage
Love Style Quiz: What is a Love Style?
Table Talks with the Tares
Ep 26 - How MJ Loves, the Avoider, What I would tell my younger self
Next episode recommended:
Ep 112 - What's it like being married to an Avoider?
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
Visit our website: The Honest Underscore.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
In this episode we're discussing how we're approaching having baby #3. Is this third one really easier or is it really just adding more to the chaos of parenting?
Resources mentioned:
Podcast Juice: https://www.buffalotracedistillery.com/our-brands/buffalo-trace.html
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
Visit our website: www.honestunderscore.com.
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
In this episode we talk about the different default settings we have when we consider bringing up offenses someone has committed against you. One prefers to confront with it, the other would rather absorb it and move on. We explore our unique approaches to the issue of confrontation and how it helps us shape a balanced ethic when teaching correction and confrontation to our kids.
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
Visit our website: The Honest Underscore .
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
In this episode, we reflect on our time with my mom and how her visit highlighted the cultural differences in how we each handle conflict—one shaped by honor/shame and the other by justice/guilt. We explore how these deep-rooted approaches surface in marriage and what it means to navigate apologies, accountability, and grace when worlds collide.
Resources mentioned:
How We Love, Expanded Edition: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage
Next episode recommended:
Ep 112 - What's it like being married to an Avoider?
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
Visit our website: The Honest Underscore .
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
In this episode, I interview Ash about what it's like being married to an avoider. We talk about the challenges of adjusting to a love style that is different from your own and the ways we've had to grow in how to relate to one another.
Resources mentioned:
How We Love, Expanded Edition: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage
Next episode recommended:
Ep 25 - How We Love & Argue, The Vacillator, How it affects our relationship
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
Visit our website: The Honest Underscore .
Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe to our newsletter!
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com.
In this episode we do another hot take with Ashley on a question prompt I gave her regarding the duties of parents in a family. Our discussion moves in several different directions talking about what we think and how we would want to approach leading our family.
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
Visit our website: The Honest Underscore .
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We revisit my previous statement about how the Great Commission may not be for everyone. I clarify that statement in this episode saying that while cross cultural evangelism may not be, the call for all believers is to make disciples.
Episode mentioned:
Ep 108 - Fear of Failure Driving the Holy Search for God's Will in Your Life, On Considering Obedience to God and Serving the Local Body
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
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I put Ashley on the hot seat by getting into this conversation without warning or context. I like to get her first drafts on things and so in this conversation we talk about how she has felt she's changed in being able to identify her needs. The conversation morphs into talking about whether or not she thinks she's a people pleaser and how she's let me be the father to our children as we raise them.
Resources mentioned:
Book on Love Styles: How We Love, Expanded Edition: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage
Next episode recommended: Ep 25 - How We Love & Argue, The Vacillator, How it affects our relationship
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
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We unpack how in some cases our search for God's will is seen as a pursuit of holiness but in reality is a fear of failure that could bring ruin to your life. The beauty of the Gospel is that we've already been found out as failures, and the Lord has provided a way out through his son, Jesus Christ. We talk about the implications for a family looking to be obedient to the Lord and how serving in the ministry has changed as we have grown as a family.
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We talk about the rapid development of Artificial Intelligence and some of the ways we’re currently using it in our house. Then we also discuss how we should think about these quick changes in the technological world we live in as a Christian family. How do we live in the technological world honoring the Lord in how we engage with it. Do we engage with it at all? Do we use it to improve our lives and those around us?
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I interview Ashley in this one on what has been the motivating factor for why she basically automatically sets goals for her year at the beginning of each year. We are so different in this regard so we talk about how we approach goal setting from opposite angles. We talk about the goals we’re setting, the systems we use, and the approaches we take.
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
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In this episode, we flesh out my (MJ's) initial reactions after Ashley's orders of 2 books arrive at our house. Initially it was a cringy and uncomfortable thought to even entertain having to bring this up to our kids, but after talking it further with her, realized that this conversation might come up a lot sooner than we think.
Resources mentioned:
Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr.: A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds
God Made All of Me: A Book to Help Children Protect Their Bodies (God Made Me)
Next episode recommended:
Ep 100 - How Adoption Changed Me, The Volatility of New Siblings Joining your Home, Unpacking my Experience
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
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As we approach the holidays, I wanted to talk about how we've thought about rest during this time of year. We talk about how social media (or whatever form of endless screen-time/scrolling you pursue) robs you of the rest the Lord wants from you. We also detail how we practice rest through the form of a Saturday Sabbath rest and how that looks like for our specific context. Also, I make the argument that the elimination of hurry does not apply to everyone.
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As our oldest starts out Kindergarten next year, we have started the discussion and research in finding what we believe to be the best education option for her. We came from diverse educational backgrounds and naturally reverted back to our own experiences as what we believed to be optimal, but after digging through all the options available in our area and realizing that Ashley was actually able to use her own strength set, we decided to home school Evie for her kindergarten year. Tune in to find out more about why we decided to do so!
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We grew up just anticipating Christmas for the gifts. But now as parents of young kids, we see the significance of creating rhythms as a family and how it has led to our flourishing. But as a household where our cultural backgrounds are so different from each other, we see these seasonal celebrations as opportunity to create something unique for our family.
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We used to really make sure Thanksgiving was such a special meal and time as a family which came with a ton of stress and hustle to get the dinner ready on time. But then our regular practice of gratitude by having a weekly "all-out" meal together as a family as a way of experiencing God's goodness in our life changed how we view the holiday today.
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In this conversation, Ash opens up on how her experience growing up with adopted siblings joining her family's home changed her and shaped her into the adult and parent she is today. She specifically talks about how facing the chaos and volatility of parenting young ones brings to the surface some of the experiences she had in childhood and how it is bringing a disproportionate response to how she handles her kids' emotional outbursts.
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
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We're dealing with our leaky shower and tackling this problem has revealed more than the source of where the water is coming from. Our differences in personality types, problem solving approach, and project management style come to light when trying to tackle projects around the house. Tune in for a conversation where a little project around the house is revealing more about how we work together.
Resources mentioned:
Working Genius Assessment: The Six Types of Working Genius
Next episode recommended: Ep 32 - How we bought our house, Vision vs Strategy, Effective Leadership Teams
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
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This is an extended discussion on our need to put the family meeting back in place on our family rhythm. As a visionary/strategic couple, some of the things we prioritize are different at times, so I try to suggest this as a remedy to get us back on the same page.
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In this episode we talk about my (MJ's) first time to go out to vote for a President! I talk about how it compares to the voting system in Austria as a multi-party socialist governing body and the policies of this seemingly consequential election.
Resources mentioned:
Lacrae interview with Matt Chandler: Lecrae Has a DEEP Convo with Matt Chandler on Fallen Pastors
Next episode recommended:Ep 88 - Designing Authority: How Societies Shape Power, Rights, and Choices
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
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In this episode we talk about the journey of experiencing the loss of my dad this past summer. The 6 year journey of his battle with metastasized prostate cancer and the good things that I was able to see along the way. I share the importance of being able to share the journey with someone and also the cultural differences as a person who lives in a culture (USA) that is different from the culture he grew up in (Austria) and different from the culture his parents grew up in (Philippines).
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In this episode we talk about how we handled the transition from Virginia to North Carolina and how we challenged ourselves to focus on seeing what is good that can come from this type of change. We talk through how we view the change actually impacts our children and discuss the importance of having a perspective of Paul's challenge in Scripture to consider it pure joy when we face trials of many kinds.
Resources mentioned:
Anekdote zur Senkung der Arbeitsmoral
Next episode recommended:
Ep 33 - Charlotte House Update, The Only Way we Got Here, & Natural Disasters
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
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In this episode, we explore the growing movement of dads who want to be fully present in their children’s lives and how this aligns with our calling as men through Christ’s work of provision and protection. We’ll discuss how fatherhood today involves more than just providing materially but also being deeply involved in shaping our children’s spiritual and emotional development. With a focus on disciple-making for young kids, we’ll dive into the importance of creating family rhythms and the need for couples to support one another as both mother and father in the unique ways they parent their children.
Next episode recommended:
Ep 45 - Fatherhood in an epidemic of loneliness and purposelessness, death and living to tell the story
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
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In this episode we talk about how we are building our "perfect" week by establishing a night off for each of us so we can set aside the parent hat and use the evening to do something that we find restful. As a couple that is completely the opposite to their spouse, we have had to be very open and direct about what we need from each other which has led us to carving out nights each week to ourselves that actually help us become better spouses and parents. In this conversation we talk about how we got there and the steps we are taking to build a week that builds in restful rhythms so we can sustain what we do as a family.
Next episode recommended:
Ep 12 The Sabbath - Our Foundational Rhythm
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
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In this episode, we reflect on how COVID-19 reshaped our approach to parenting and the ways it highlights our desire to raise resilient children. We also discuss the challenges of balancing motherhood’s impact on personal freedom, alongside societal assumptions about being home full time. We talk through the things we value most in what we want to instill in our kids including honesty, autonomy, problem-solving and being a problem solver
Next episode recommended:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-10-there-is-no-morally-neutral-art-the-power-of/id1661247515?i=1000598231402
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
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In this episode, we open up about the challenges of navigating grief while managing a family with toddlers, sharing how we’ve coped with loss and found strength in God’s goodness if you take time to see it all around you. From solo parenting during a funeral to the emotional toll of change, we discuss the importance of grace, both for ourselves and our children. We also explore the difference between rest and true restoration, the value of rejuvenating activities, and how to model healthy social media habits for our kids.
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
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In this podcast, we tackle talk about the challenges and rewards of working from home with kids in the house. We talk tips like treating specific parts of the house a certain way and the value of noise canceling headphones. The second part of the conversation is our discussion started off with an innocent question from our 4-year old on "Dad, what are you doing in there?" when asking about why I lock myself in a bedroom for work. That got me thinking about how we can involve the whole family in the process of value creation together.
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In this podcast, we wrestle through balance of maintaining a strong, loving relationship while raising a family. We'll dive into the challenges you face when connection shifts from partners to parents and how to avoid drifting apart. From redefining date nights to fostering genuine connection, we discuss practical strategies for keeping your relationship vibrant and meaningful throughout all seasons of life. Whether you're newly navigating parenthood or years into the journey, we hope this episode inspires you to consider how to stay invested in your relationship.
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
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In this episode, we explore the complexities of authority, from the consent of the governed to the potential pitfalls of earned expertise, based on our recent trip to Austria, which is a socialist country. We discuss how different economic systems, like capitalism and socialism, shape power dynamics and individual freedoms. We also examine the dangers of hyper-individualism, where personal determination of right and wrong can lead to influential but maybe wrong experts. Join us as we unpack how societal design influences the authority we experience and the choices we make.
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
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In this episode we dive into the intricate dynamics of multicultural families, where language, tradition, and identity overlap. Join us as we explore the challenges of navigating conversations in different languages, the cultural weight of honor, and the journey of raising kids in a multiethnic context. Despite the complexities, we uncover the profound value of building lasting memories with family across cultures.
We weren’t sure we were going to release this episode, but after editing realized it was all the more timely since part of the reason we went was to spend time with my dad who has since passed away. RIP Mars Tare. Pa, you are dearly missed.
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In this episode, we dive into how we tag-team our parenthood, described specifically by our recent adventure of flying with two toddlers. We reflect on how the pandemic shaped our approach to working and parenting together, emphasizing the importance of sharing responsibilities and supporting each other. Join us for an honest discussion on navigating the journey of raising a family with our own distinct roles, but as a united front.
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
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In this episode, we dive into the unexpected wisdom gleaned from the hit TV show Clarkson’s Farm, highlighting the characters we enjoy watching and the insights we get into the world of modern agriculture. Jeremy Clarkson’s humorously profane and heartfelt journey into farming teaches valuable lessons about the hard work involved with being a farmer. Additionally, we explore practical ways to instill these principles in our children, building a sense of responsibility and appreciation for nature and hard work.
Resources Mentioned:
Watch Clarkson’s Farm
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
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In this sensitive episode, we explore the stark contrasts between living with grief and supporting someone through it. Ashley shares her journey of losing a loved one, while the MJ offers a perspective of how someone without firsthand experience feels about suffering.
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This is part two about our conversation around navigating life’s ebbs and flows as a vacillator/avoider couple especially when one is experiencing a high, but the other is not.
Episodes mentioned:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-25-how-we-love-argue-the-vacillator-how-it-affects/id1661247515?i=1000613984775
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-26-how-mj-loves-the-avoider-what-i-would-tell-my/id1661247515?i=1000614852622
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-27-how-the-vacillator-and-avoider-collide/id1661247515?i=1000615699628
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-28-lessons-of-a-vacillator-and-avoider/id1661247515?i=1000616625402
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-19-relationships-stating-the-problem-isnt-the/id1661247515?i=1000608168186
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
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In this episode, we delve into the complexities of relationships between Avoider and Vacillator partners, exploring how these dynamics play into how we go through the highs and lows of life. We also discuss the thankless but crucial role of motherhood, discussing the unique challenges and rewards that come with it. We learn something new about each other in this discussion so it is worth tuning in! Thank you for joining us at the table.
Resources mentioned:
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-8-how-parenthood-changed-us/id1661247515?i=1000596038384
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
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In this episode, we share our experiences and lessons learned from past flights with our two toddlers. We'll discuss the mistakes we've made and how we're applying those lessons to ensure a smoother journey this time. Tune in for practical tips and strategies we're using to prepare for success on our upcoming flight.
Resources mentioned:
Next episode recommended: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-8-how-parenthood-changed-us/id1661247515?i=1000596038384
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
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In this heartfelt episode, I talk to Ash about where I’m at with my dad's declining health. We talk through the beauty, hope, and complexity of coping with family illness and the fears that come with it. Join us for an intimate conversation about love, support, and facing life's toughest moments together as a family.
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
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In this episode, we explore Ashley's relentless journey to uncover the root cause of her sleepless nights. After consulting with three different medical professionals, she finally discovered that it actually wasn’t a physical issue, but that her social media use was playing a big role in causing anxiety, keeping her awake. Join us as we delve into her story and share insights on managing social media for better mental health and restful sleep.
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
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In this episode, we wrap up our series on marriage preparation advice by sharing insights on meeting "the one" and the journey that follows. We'll discuss our personal experiences and the valuable lessons we've learned along the way. Plus, we'll talk about the important things we hope to teach our kids about love and relationships.
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In this episode we dive deeper into the "preparing for marriage" advice and focus on what you can do during your single years. We’ll share our own experiences before tying the knot and insights into making the most of your singleness. Join us at the table!
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In this episode, we’re taking a hard look at why "preparing for marriage" might actually be bad advice. We’ll chat about how it can make you think you’re not married just because you weren’t prepared enough. Join us as we dive into our experience in singleness.
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In this special episode, we unveil the purpose behind the podcast and announce the launch of our new website. Discover why we're passionate about encouraging you to reflect on the effectiveness of your leadership. Sign up for our newsletter to receive monthly emails on leadership effectiveness and be the first to know about any updates from our podcast and website!
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
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In this episode we discuss and review a podcast on the dangers of parenting philosophies becoming too protective of our kids. We review a thought provoking podcast challenging parents to basically stop coddling their children and we discuss the challenges in transitioning a child from being completely dependent on their mother to a fully functioning independent individual. Join in in our journey with a hope that parents and leaders listening can be encouraged to reconsider how their actions may be misaligned with their intent because of the implications of the way they parent.
Resources mentioned:
The podcast episode we’re evaluating in our discussion: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-family-teams-podcast/id1447768183?i=1000652301955
The podcast episode mentioned on tolerating pain: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/huberman-lab/id1545953110?i=1000641685687
The podcast episode mentioned on independent kids: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/no-stupid-questions/id1510056899?i=1000641482519
The show that was referenced by Angela Duckworth: https://www.netflix.com/title/81506279
The book that references kids and performance anxiety: https://www.amazon.com/Bad-Therapy-Kids-Arent-Growing-ebook/dp/B0CBYHTV2D
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
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In this episode, buckle up as we share our journey of prioritizing practicality over prestige in our car purchase. From weighing the pros and cons of different types of cars to different price points, MJ lays out the factors that guided our decision-making process. Join us as we drive down the road to finding a reliable and economical vehicle that aligns with we value the most.
Resources mentioned:
www.comma.ai - OpenPilot lets you turn a regular car into a self-driving car. They aim to “make driving chill”.
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
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Join us as we dive into managing finances as a married couple of 8 years. In this episode, we share how we prioritize experiences over things and why being aligned on spending decisions is crucial in our relationship. From budgeting for travel adventures to embracing the joy of shared experiences, discover how we make decisions on money in our marriage.
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In this episode, join us as we celebrate 8 years of marriage by delving into the wisdom of Reddit. From heartfelt anecdotes to practical tips, we explore the internet's most valued advice that has resonated most with us over the years. Tune in for an insightful and heartwarming discussion on our relationship and the journey of building an 8 year marriage.
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In this episode, we delve into the delicate balance of confronting others when they're wrong, offering a roadmap for delivering effective feedback in criticism. We also talk about the "behavior-impact-outcome" approach, which is one strategy to navigate challenging conversations with empathy and clarity. Tune in as we discuss the tools to foster growth through constructive criticism.
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth in leadership in every sphere of life.
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Join our monthly newsletter for a curated blend of exclusive leadership insights, personal reflections, and resource releases delivered straight to your inbox. Subscribe here: https://the-honest-underscore.ck.page/newsletter
For questions, please email us at hello@honestunderscore.com
In this episode, we explore the delicate balance between optimism and disillusionment, and the pivotal role of seeking feedback from those we trust and love. Discover how to navigate through moments of uncertainty and maintain a healthy perspective, by learning from the insights of others.
Table Talks with the Tares: conversations that inspire personal growth and resilience in an ever-changing world.
For questions, please email us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
In this episode we talk about failure and how the possibility of failure is needed on the path to growth. We argue effective leaders leverage failure as a springboard for development. Additionally, we examine the crucial role of feedback in leadership, highlighting how growth oriented leaders gather and utilize feedback to continuously refine their skills and strategies.
We would love to hear from you! Please leave us a 5-star review on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. For any questions, please reach out to us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
In this episode I shoot Ash some thought provoking questions on what what she would say in response to the duality of motherhood and a woman’s career. I also dive further into perspectives for a family trying to be involved in ministry together rather than being sectioned off into our age groups as is the norm in society.
We’re so thankful that you’re joining us in our journey at the table! If you’ve enjoyed this episode, please leave us a 5 star rating on Spotify, Apple Podcast, etc!
If you have any questions, please reach out to us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
In this episode, we discuss a popular idea of self care and whether or not we are personally doing this well. We talk about some barriers that prevent us from feeling like we are receiving adequate rest, neglecting the regular rhythms of rest we actually need which is why we end up thinking we need to focus on our self care. We also include how we think social media is preventing us from receiving the care we need.
Sources mentioned:
https://www.epsilontheory.com/how-does-technology-rewire-the-intricate-circuitry-of-the-teenage-mind/
We would love to hear from you! You can reach us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
Please leave us a 5 star rating and a review!
Thank you for joining us at the Table!
In this episode we take a look at the concept of toxic positivity and its impact on your ability to grow. We argue that without being willing to go into the areas of life that may be uncomfortable, we hinder our potential to assess and improve on what is really going on. We also talk about the difference between feelings and emotion and how that expresses itself in day to day life.
Podcast mentioned:
Thank you for taking the time to join us at our table! We really appreciate it. Leave us a comment and 5 star review! For any questions, please email ashley@honestunderscore.com
In this episode, Ash shares the framework she’s developed for identifying and overcoming idolatry in life. We discuss how while we often see ourselves as sinners, it is less frequent for us to acknowledge being sinful. If you’re interested in using the free resource we developed to identify and overcome the idols in your life, please visit www.honestunderscore.com/tabletalks to download our free resource on How to Identify and Flee from Idolatry.
We would love to hear from you! If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to email us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
Please leave us a 5-star rating and review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify!
Thanks so much for joining us at the table!
In this episode Ash explains what made her curious about listening to the Andrew Huberman podcast on pain. We talk about the challenges she facing with the changes she’s experiencing with postpartum sleep deficiency and how the mind and the body are so intimately connected. Finally we talk about how to optimize routines in the mornings and evenings to be more conducive to a restful daily rhythm.
Resources mentioned:
Podcast episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/huberman-lab/id1545953110?i=1000641685687
The 4 stages of competence idea was taken from the book: Building a Discipling Culture, 3rd Edition; https://a.co/d/7gQTbuD
If you enjoyed this episode, please leave us a comment and a 5-star rating! Any questions can be sent to ashley@honestunderscore.com
Thanks for joining us at the table!
In this episode, we have a discussion on idolatry. And some of the core desires we have is to feel loved, to feel like we belong, to be affirmed. MJ shares his recent experience and journey of identifying an idol at work, and shares ways to confront and fight back the idol of affirmation.
We would love to hear from you! If you have any comments, questions, or would like us to talk about something that would be interesting to you, please email us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
please leave us a five star rating and feedback on Apple podcast and Spotify!
In this episode we talk about a question that a listener asked us about how we’ve been able to continue on with the podcast every week. We talk about how at the end of the day, it is much more about rhythm than motivation. “You don’t rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems” - James Clear.
Thanks for giving this a listen! We really appreciate it if you could leave us a 5-star review and rating on Apple Podcasts and Spotify! For any questions, email us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
In this episode we finally get around to watching After Death the documentary recounting several individual’s near death experiences. We follow up on our initial conversation about what we think about the trailer and compare it to how the full movie turned out.
If you enjoyed Table Talks with the Tare’s, please leave us 5 star rating and review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify! Let us know if you have any questions, comments at ashley@honestunderscore.com
In this episode we talk about Ashley’s career path into professional coaching, which is something she is passionate about. We also talk about our interests and hobbies in coffee and dancing. Thanks for joining us in this more casual episode talking about things we enjoy doing today.
For any questions and comments, please email us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
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In this episode we talk about what dating looks like for us now living in a new city and having to establish new relationships with babysitters for us to be able to go on dates. We reflect on the recent date we were able to go on and the differences between what they looked like in the past versus where they’re at today.
We’d love to hear from you! If you have any questions or comments, please reach out to us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
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In this episode we reflect back on 2023 and how we’ve used a word of the year to bring focus to our family. We talk about why we focus on one word for our year and how we implement that word in our family. This past year’s word was “planted”, and our year was anything but. We also talk about the books, music, movies, and tv shows we’ve watched, listened, and read this past year.
If you’ve enjoyed listening to this, please leave us a 5-star review and rating on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. If you have any comments, questions, reach out to us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
Thanks for taking part in our table!
In this episode we share our experiences and perspectives as parents and the differences we bring to the table in raising our children. We also talk about how the children differ from each other even though they are raised by the same parents.
Hope you enjoy this episode. If you’d like to hear more from us, or have a specific topic you’d like us to talk about, please email us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
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In this episode we talk about how we’ve approached home improvement and home decoration in specifically how our personalities influence how we approach each thing. As people living together with completely different ways of approaching projects, we discuss how this comes together when trying to tackle home improvement projects together.
We hoped this has helped you gain insight about how you might relate to your significant other, and what type of communication road blocks you run into when a visionary and an innovator.
We would love to hear from you! You can reach us at ashley@honestunderscore.com.
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This episode is an honest conversation about the holiday tradition of Santa. Although we adults know that an overweight bearded stalker who sneaks down your chimney does not bring all the gifts you open on Christmas Day, we ask ourselves how to have that conversation with our children as they catch on to the wonder of Christmas. We ultimately ask ourselves if we should do Santa for Christmas.
Thanks for joining us at our table! If you’d like to ask us a question or have something to tell us, please feel free to email at ashley@honestunderscore.com
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In this episode we reflect back on one full year of podcasting and the lessons we’ve learned along the way. We share about our favorite episodes, stats about where you are listening from and our hope for the future with the podcast. We are so grateful to have you joining us at our table and we hope you enjoy this little insight we share on lessons we’ve learned after one year of practicing this habit.
We would love to hear from you! Send us your comments and questions to ashley@honestunderscore.com.
In this episode we unpack the recent episode Dave Ramsey had on his radio show where he claimed that you can safely draw 8% of your retirement portfolio annually (I would argue this is way too aggressive). But if you can momentarily set aside the factual error with extremely consequential repercussions on people’s retirement outlook, we take time to address the way in which he corrected an employee that had a blog post claiming a more conservative 3-4% annual withdrawal rate. I also quiz Ash on how she would coach Dave Ramsey, if she was coaching him.
Here’s the clip of Dave Ramsey correcting his employee about the withdrawal rate (the 8% segment is at 1:13:47): https://www.youtube.com/live/Xg4Z8EQY3Ao?si=l3OPTpA61N634nem
If you’re interested, here’s a link from Ben Felix, a Canadian portfolio manager that provides a quick explainer video reacting to Dave’s claim on the 8% withdrawal rate: https://youtu.be/Hhg6dB2UcAs?si=ezhUFVQ1GDECNKtk
Thanks for listening! If you have any questions or comments, please email us at ashley@honestunderscore.com.
In this episode we talk about where we’re at in our marriage and checking in with each other on how to continue investing in our relationship when placed in a new environment and raising young kids. We unpack how we’ve noticed that becoming vulnerable with others creates intimacy in relationship, where you can be fully known and still loved. Finally, Ash talks about in this season of our marriage we are learning to work with what we have, and that breadth of time in relationship does not necessarily equal depth in relationship.
Thanks for joining us at our table. We’d love to hear from you! Please email us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
After recording our last episode (Ep 48), we realized we may be better off clarifying a few things. In this episode we take it fireside and talk more about where we’re at in how we believe we should be involved in the church as a young family. We take some time to further unpack the conversation we had last episode and clarifying that we do see it as essential to be part of the local body, but how do we do it in a way that is sustainable and life giving to the family. Listen in to hear more!
Thanks for following us in our journey. We’d love to hear from you, so feel free to email at ashley@honestunderscore.com
In this episode we parse out where we’re at in the journey of identifying and practicing ministry as a family. We look out how it tends to be defined in the church and point out the importance of not limiting “ministry” to what is within the predetermined confines of the church.
Thank you so much for listening! Let us know your thoughts by reaching out to us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
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In this episode we share our experience of participating in a wedding through the lens of being a new parent of young kids. How it hits different as a mother/father of a boy and a mother/father of a girl. We look back at memories of our own wedding and try to predict how we would feel marrying off our children some time in the future. Finally, Ash asks what I would tell my younger self prior to getting married … prepare for a sermon. I fleshed out what I am currently working through understanding and practicing abiding in the good news of the Gospel.
Thank you for being part of our table! We would love to hear from you. If you have any questions or comments, please reach out to us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
In this episode we breakdown a breakdown in conversation where we had different expectations for what we were talking about. In one hand it was to vent and externalization so as to be reassured that it is okay, on the other hand it was a hyper-pragmatic view on communication that minimizes interaction based on needs. We’re extremely different so it makes for very lively conversations. Hope you enjoy!
Leave us a rating and review! If you have anything you’d like us to talk about, email us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
Thanks for joining us at our tisch. We appreciate you listening in.
In this episode we talk more about some of the additional thoughts we had as to why there was such a fascination with the Roman Empire. We also breakdown our thoughts and Ashley’s curiosity about the afterlife and a trailer of a movie that depicts people’s experiences with dying and coming back to life.
Please leave us a rating and review! We’re so thankful to have you at our table.
For any questions, please reach out to us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
In this episode we talk about the TikTok trend going around where men are being asked how often they think about the Roman Empire. We share an insight in one of the responses by an episode MJ listened to on Adam Ragusea’s podcast (We’ve watched several of his cooking videos before and happened to stumble upon his podcast). We also talk about the prevalence of purposelessness which we hypothesize is tied to the fascination of the Roman Empire.
Adam’s Youtube Channel: https://youtube.com/@aragusea?si=6T8AxNJEiqII5c_H
Adam’s take on the Roman Empire podcast episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/yes-im-also-weirdly-into-ancient-rome-and-its-weird/id1611666380?i=1000629025362
Give us a rating an review! We’d love to hear from you. We appreciate all your support and feedback. Thanks for joining us at our table
In this episode we talk about the stark difference between Ash and MJ in how they care for others or themselves especially in times when the emotional budget is low. As the family is dealing with illness, we wrestle through the concept of how communicating intent in how we care is equally important to the care itself. Oh - and we also review the new gadget in the home - the Bedjet. Game changer, we really love it.
Let us know what you think! We’d love to hear about what you want us to talk about next. Leave us a 5 star rating and review! Thank you for having a seat at our table!
In this episode we unpack leading small group discussions, things to look out for an avoid, as well as having a conversation about a real stern discussion we had literally right before pressing record. Hope this is helpful and arms you well to have good conversations in a group, as a leader or a participant, and in one on one conversations with others. Let us know if there’s anything you’d like to hear us talk about! You can reach us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
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In this episode we give an update on how it has been like finding community in Charlotte. We also discuss the importance for us as a family to find and define a weekly rhythm and give you an update on the lawn care project that we’re trying to tackle this fall (shoutout Jacob for all your help).
Would love to hear from you! If there is anything you want us to talk about, please reach out to us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
In this episode we listen and respond to Andrew Huberman’s take on prayer. He is a neuroscientist and I don’t really know where he stands on his faith and religion, but his view on prayer was a very refreshing reminder of what we should think of the positional power of prayer. We also update you on finding community here in a new city.
To watch Andrew Huberman’s take on prayer you can check it out here: https://youtu.be/ivDqfmicrAI?si=HVU_CgG2D9w9mted
Leave us a comment and review! We would love to hear from you and so please email us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
In this episode we talk about Pastor James guest speaking at convocation! We then morph the conversation to church accountability and serving at the church. We also give guidance on how to serve when it feels hard to serve at the church.
Leave us a comment and review! Please let us know if there is anything specifically you’d like us to talk about. Email your comments to ashley@honestunderscore.com
This episode is more casual conversation about your health journey and where we’re at, along with a conversation about our experience renting a Tesla for a day.
Resources mentioned:
Mind Pump Media: https://www.mindpumpmedia.com/
Current Program I’m using: https://www.mindpumpmedia.com/maps-anabolic
Faster Way: https://www.fasterwaytofatloss.com
Please leave us a rating and review! We’d love to hear from you. If you have any questions, send us an email at ashley@honestunderscore.com
In this episode we discuss Ash’s journey from full time Chief Talent Development Officer to full time at home raising children. She describes the steps she took to get there and why she chose to raise her kids instead of returning back to work full time.
Please leave us a rating and review! We love hearing from you! For any comments or questions, email us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
In this episode we unpack Ash’s journey of how she’s dealing with the impact of a recent prayer she’s prayed asking God to remove fear in her life. We discuss the threat of a mysterious and inexplicable cancer cluster in the surrounding area and the importance of anchoring ourselves to the truth of Scripture. Fear is actually a grab at control and so we talk about the benefits of taking every thought captive in the daily battle of conquering fear.
Resources mentioned:
Book - https://www.amazon.com/Switch-Your-Brain-Happiness-Thinking/dp/0801018390/ref=asc_df_0801018390?nodl=1&tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312134205520&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=17110386029484216448&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9009919&hvtargid=pla-434624176759&psc=1&dplnkId=7b1568fe-93b7-4b78-a82c-7695fe7db983
Song - https://open.spotify.com/track/7fTB6AmnnOm1zKI5QN69Yc?si=3O8g1xhzSni-OqC0V_XbcA&context=spotify%
Leave us a rating and review! For any questions, please email us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
In this episode we dig into the differences between closeness and togetherness. By this we mean the difference between proximity and intimacy. Just because you’re close to someone because you see them all the time or hang out with them all the time, it does not mean that you necessarily are also close to them.
Resources mentioned:
Blog post: https://honestunderscore.com/practice/
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In this episode we talk about why we have a family word for the year and how ironic the word of the year for us has been as we’ve experienced it so far.
We also introduce the seemingly similar ideas of togetherness and closeness and how they are actually not the same. The move away from Lynchburg to Charlotte has made that so evident.
Thank you for supporting our podcast! Please leave us a comment and review on Apple podcast or a 5 star rating on Spotify!
In this episode, we fill you in on the one week hiatus we took off and what happened in the mean time. It includes flooding, power outages, help of friends & neighbors, and the importance of cultivating community.
If you missed us last week, here’s a good episode to catch up on the things you’ve missed. Our table was partly under water, so we apologize and appreciate your patience!
Much love from the Tare’s!
Resources mentioned:
Our amazing friends, neighbors, and everyone that helped out: Gracie, Jacob, Ray, Ash’s mom, AJ, Yemi (& her friend), Sam, Jonathan, Hannah, Robert, Trent, Jess, Sarah, Rebecca, Kim, Tim, Josh (our realtor), Owen (Josh’s team mate)
The best Lynchburg area realtor: https://www.joshredmondrealestate.com/
Our highly recommended Lynchburg movers: https://americanmovingnstorage.com/
In this episode we contrast our leadership styles and how they clashed in our home buying process. We compare the differences between someone who is more visionary versus someone who is more strategic. We also emphasize the importance of having complementary leadership styles in your team.
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We’d love to hear from you, so please email us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
In this episode we unpack the multigenerational family living approach that we have taken on as a family. We talk about its pros and cons and why we decided to live together with multiple generations under one roof.
Resources that have helped us: Anything written by Jeremy Pryor
Blog post referencing the morning meetings: https://honestunderscore.com/morning-meeting/
Movie mentioned: Avalon by Barry Levinson
Leave us a rating and review! If there’s anything specific you’d like to have us talk about, email us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
We appreciate your support and taking time to join us at our table!
In this episode we have a big life update! We’re talking about things to come and a recent loss in the family. We also wrestle through the concept of God’s favor, our faithfulness, and suffering. We’re excited for this next chapter in our life and are grateful to have you taking part in our journey!
We’d love to hear from you! Email us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
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In this brief episode we take a quick break from regular programming to thank you for your continued support. We also want to let you know we have a couple of updates as a family we want to let you know about. Thanks for being part of our journey.
We’d love to hear from you! Let us know what your questions/thoughts are and email at ashley@honestunderscore.com
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In this episode we finish out our little mini series discussion on the book How We Love by Milan and Kay Yerkovich. Having taken the time to discuss the breakdown of a vacillator in a relationship with an avoider, we explore the lessons we’ve learned being married to each other with our love styles for over 7 years.
Resources mentioned:
How We Love Our Kids book: https://howwelove.com/shop/how-we-love-our-kids-book/
How We Love book: https://howwelove.com/shop/how-we-love-book/
How We Love quiz: https://howwelove.com/love-style-quiz/
Thank you for being at our table and taking part in our journey of self-reflection. We would love to hear from you! Email us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
Please leave us a 5 star rating and review!
If you’ve made it this far down and are still reading the description, you must be a super fan, so email us the word COFFEE to ashley@honestunderscore.com and we’ll send you a Starbucks gift card as a token of our appreciation. We’ll take emails all week until June 16th!
In this episode we explore how a vacillator and avoider love style collides with each other. It is one of the most common love styles that end up in counseling. We take time to break down how we as a Avoider/Vacillator couple argue and work through conflict.
Thank you for joining us at our table! We would love to hear from you! Email us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
Leave us a 5 star rating and review!
In this episode we continue our conversation on the book that has been transformative in how we identify and work through our relationship conflict cycle. We dive into the Avoider love style and we also explore what I would tell my younger self if I could.
In this episode we talk about a book that has been transformative in how we identify and work through our fight/conflict cycle. We dive deep into the Vacillator love style and how it plays out in our relationship.
Resources Mentioned:
How We Love book: https://howwelove.com/shop/how-we-love-book/
How We Love quiz: https://howwelove.com/love-style-quiz/
Leave us a comment and review! Let us know what you want us to talk about next! Reach us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
Love,
MJ & Ash
In this episode we unpack how the postmodern church model is designed to yield the results it is producing: pastors that are burning out, & members that are labeled noncommittal. Our desire is to explore what the original intent of the church was as it was described in Ephesians with the various spiritual giftings (apostles, prophets, evangelists, teachers, shepherds).
We would love to hear from you! Reach out to us at ashley@honestunderscore.com.
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In this episode we unpack our thoughts on tithing and where we’re at in the journey of discovering what it means to be generous as a believer. The conversation was sparked by a discussion I had at a bible study where we talked about someone who gave anonymously because it gave them a freedom to know they were supporting a cause without the baggage of being associated with the amount they were giving.
We’d love to hear from you! Leave us a comment and review! If you have any questions or topics you’d like for us to discuss, email us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
Today’s episode is a special episode where we have invited our dear friends Albert & Yemi Mutesa to our table. In this episode we talk about the unique cultural backgrounds they are bringing into their family, their experience living in the US, and the best parts of their upbringing and culture that they want to carry forward into the future for their family.
We want to hear from you! If you have any questions or comments, email us at ashley@honestundercore.com
Leave us a 5 star review on Spotify and Apple and write us a review on Apple Podcasts!
In this episode we’re exploring the dire need for mentorship and the conflicting societal forces that is preventing people from experiencing it more broadly. We also talk about our observations on how society is built up that inform how we want to lead our family. We talk about internal vs external forces that shape our decision-making and much more!
We’d love to hear your thoughts! If you have any questions - send them over to us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
People prioritize emotions differently which predicates the way we process feelings. We talk about the difference between emotions and feelings and have a discussion on whether or not and how to fold feelings/emotions in our everyday conversation.
Join us weekly for a conversation at our table!
We’d love to hear from you. Let us know if there is a question or comment that you have and email us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
In this episode we talk about a podcast clip that Ash listened to where a wife complains to her husband about his lack of intuition in meeting needs around the house. We discuss how stating the problem is a good step towards the solution, but isn’t the solution in and of itself.
We want to hear from you! If you have a topic you want us to discuss hit us up! You can reach us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
Leave us a 5 star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts! Leave us feedback on Apple Podcasts. Thank you for all your support and taking the time to join us at our table!
In this episode we reference a movie: The Farewell as a backdrop to our discussion on truth and love. We talk about how cultural backgrounds play a role in how willing you may be to be more truthful or more loving.
We would love to hear from you! If you have any questions, email us at ashley@honestunderscore.com
In this episode we kickoff a new series on relationships! We start it off by walking through the distinction of connecting face-to-face or shoulder-to-shoulder and what we mean by those things.
Resources mentioned:
Gottman Card Deck (Date night question prompt app):
- iOS: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/gottman-card-decks/id1292398843
- Android:https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.carddecks&hl=en_US≷=US&pli=1
We love to hear from you! Shoot us a message at ashley@honestunderscore.com
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Thanks for all your support!
In this episode we take time to answer one of your listener questions!
We mention a study on parenting and happiness and there are several publications that compare families with and without kids with (not surprisingly) mixed results. While we won't point to one specific study, factors like income, geography, availability of parental leave, all play a role in parental satisfaction and happiness.
We would love to hear from you! Connect with us on www.honestunderscore.com/tabletalks
In this episode we build on our Ideal Week series. This includes our efforts in being more conscious about the type of digital presence we are building as part of our legacy.
Resources mentioned: https://honestunderscore.com/lessons-from-my-dads-grave/
Let us hear from you! Get in touch at ashley@honestunderscore.com
Leave us a review! We appreciate your time and support.
Resources Mentioned: Quote: Abraham Maslow - "If the only tool you have is a hammer, it is tempting to treat everything as if it were a nail."
What are we running after? Why have we invested so much time & energy into creating sustainable rhythms and what's been the outcome?
Questions? Is there something you want us to talk about? We’d love to hear from you! You can reach us at www.honestunderscore.com/tabletalk
In this episode we continue our talk about how we built a rhythm in the middle of the disruption of all rhythms (post-COVID pandemic). We specifically discuss how creating a weekly rhythm has been helpful to us in staying on the same page as a family.
We would love to hear your thoughts as you join us at our table. Let’s connect at honestunderscore.com/tabletalks
In this episode we talk about how we built a rhythm in the middle of the disruption of all rhythms (post-COVID pandemic). We’ve seen it as an essential building block to anchoring our family’s routines and gives us something to look forward to on a weekly basis.
Resources Mentioned: Podcast: https://familyteams.com/category/podcast/five-minute-fatherhood/ Table: https://www.ikea.com/us/en/p/nordviken-extendable-table-white-40368713/#content
We would love to hear your thoughts as you join us at our table. Let’s connect at honestunderscore.com/tabletalks
In this episode we talk about how sometimes we forget life’s disruptions are part of life. We try to set up all these spiritual moments, but forget how the physical and spiritual are intimately intertwined.
We would love to hear your thoughts as you join us at our table. Let’s connect at honestunderscore.com/tabletalks
In this episode we talk about the power of music and the way it is very formative, just like any other habits that we build. We explore appropriate levels of media exposure for children and how we are having to think about our interaction with technology as a family.
Would love to hear from you! You can reach us at https://honestunderscore.com/tabletalks
In this episode at our table, we talk about how cultural differences have clashed in our family as we navigate coming forming a new family identity using the best elements of the various cultures we represent.
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In this episode we have a conversation about how parenthood has changed us. How it has given us a new perspective on life even in our short few years of experience as parents of a toddler and an infant.
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This episode is about the differences between action vs intent. Our execution does not always match what we meant to do so this episode unpacks the implications of having mismatched intent execution
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In this episode we break down the components of conversation, what leads to barriers to communication and a real life example of communication challenges
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In this episode we talk about digging deeper into a discussion on mistaking confidence for competence. Just because you know about something, does that translate into knowing how to apply that correctly?
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In this episode we talk about the experience we had walking through the loss of a loved one.
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On this episode we talk about where we are currently at in our health journeys. We discuss factors like what diet we’ve been on, COVID, pregnancy, and what we are doing today.
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In this episode we discuss how we approach goal setting, take a look at 2022 in review, and what we are looking forward to in the upcoming year.
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In this episode we talk about the passage in Genesis 11 with the story about the Tower of Babel and our tendency to make a name for ourselves.
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This is Table Talks with the Tares! We're so glad you've joined us. Here is a short introductory episode talking about what you can expect from this podcast.
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