Let's Relieve Regret Podcast: Recent Episodes
Shadoe and Victoria
Our regrets are stories we tell ourselves. If we are constantly worrying about the past, we are continuing to support that belief in our current reality. We were curious about what would happen if we released these worries regularly so that we can rewrite the stories we tell ourselves. So we decided to do an experiment - What happens if we dedicate time to releasing our regrets? This is a show where we take a moment to reveal the messy bits about ourselves, without judgement. It’s a show where we can reflect, learn, grow and maybe even laugh about our actions, attitudes and behaviours. It’s a place where we can speak our past, and learn from it. Join us on this journey...
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Welcome to another relatable episode of Let's Relieve Regret.
On this episode, we start with check-ins and Cause For Applause. Victoria is celebrating a slow and purposeful return to running. Shadoe is thrilled to share a new strategy for clearing out your closet.
To skip to regrets, tune in at 16:49.
During regrets, Shadoe shares that she is feeling sentimental for her university friends. She is also having complicated feelings about how to reach out to them to share this sentimentality. During feedback, Victoria notices that Shadoe has some perfection and imposter syndrome holding her back from taking imperfect action.
Then, Victoria shares a regret she has for the future (and for everyone). She is worried that we haven't paid enough attention to the benefits of hybrid work-models. Shadoe and Victoria then discuss the complexity of forcing thousands of people back to the office.
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*CONTENT WARNING This episode of Let's Relieve Regret has general discussion about sexual assault. If you need support please reach out to your local crisis centre. For more resources please visit: https://findahelpline.com/ and https://endingviolencecanada.org/
This week on Let’s Relieve Regret, we welcome Christine Burns, founder of Lady No Kids, for a raw and empowering conversation about healing from childhood trauma, breaking free from people-pleasing, and learning to put yourself first without guilt.
During the check-ins, we share our causes for applause and chat about coaching, wonder words and turns of phrase like "stop shoulding on yourself".
To skip the check-ins, jump to 20:31.
Shadoe shares first. Her story is about how she has developed a fear of going out. She mentions feeling sick before each outing. But, she also knows that this is causing a negative feedback loop within herself. During the feedback session, we discover that the lifestyle she lived in her 20s is no longer serving her, and, she has yet to establish what her current lifestyle really is. Christine and Victoria challenge her to seek value from the experience instead of what 'she can offer' to others.
Then, at the 40:18 mark, Christine shares her powerful story of recovery and self-acceptance, how protecting others once came at the cost of her own well-being, and how she’s since reclaimed her strength and voice.
Together, we explore the emotional impact of words like “should,” the transformation from victim to survivor mindset, and the freedom found in creating your chosen family. A must-listen for women on a healing journey who are ready to release fear, guilt, and self-blame.
Keywords: healing from trauma, people pleasing, self-worth, midlife women, emotional wellness, survivor mindset, chosen family, podcast for women 40+
Resources mentioned in the episode:
- Wonder Words Colouring Pages
- Christine on Substack
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What If the Patriarchy Got Womanhood All Wrong?
Why do so many midlife women feel regret about who we became, and who we were told to be? In this candid conversation, three women open up about how media and culture shaped our ideas of “what is cool,” “what makes me worthy,” and “to be loved.”
We unpack the stereotypical roles women and girls have played on TV, how the patriarchy quietly scripts our behavior, and what happens when we realize we’ve been trying to fit into stories written by men.
You’ll hear honest reflections on the “inner cheerleader” — that voice that pushes us to achieve, but sometimes too far — and why it’s time to stop chasing identity and start living with self-trust instead.
If you’ve ever wondered who am I really, beneath what I was told to be? — this episode will resonate deeply.
👉 Perfect for: midlife women, identity seekers, recovering perfectionists, and anyone ready to reclaim their story.
GET LOUISE and VICTORIA'S TINY COURE THE 10-MINUTE OVERWHELM SOLUTION HERE: https://myrecreohealth.myflodesk.com/10minuteoverwhelm
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Welcome to a new season of the Let’s Relieve Regret podcast! In this episode we discuss guilt, gratitude, and seasonal mood shifts.
During check-in, we celebrate the idea of being a tourist in your own town. We also chat about that teenage yearning to ‘get out of dodge’ no matter where ‘dodge’ happens to be.
[To skip the check-ins tune in at 8:51]
Shadoe's regret this time is more of a habit than a specific experience. She regrets using guilt as a way to drive action in her life. She has started to notice that making decisions this way usually leads to resentment and emotional hangovers. She knows that it is unrealistic to completely get rid of guilt. Something new she plans to try is to move Guilt from the driver seat to the passenger seat instead. “Or, better yet, get in the trunk.”
During the feedback session, Victoria explains the five limiting beliefs, including the fear of shining. [13:24].
This behaviour influences many of her relationships. Beyond this impact, Shadoe also talks about how she feels a yearning to stay informed. Victoria helps Shadoe to see that guilt is a fallback behavior for her.
Victoria reminds Shadoe to not suppress negative emotions because they will bubble up later. She also gives everyone a reminder about how to recognize toxic gratitude.
From there, both hosts discuss the discomfort of noticing a habit that you want to change. There is an impulse to find the why. However, when you want to change a behaviour, finding the pattern of ‘the what’ is more important than finding out ‘why’ you do it. [30:40]
Next up is Victoria’s turn to share a regret.
Victoria explains that in her work, and in previous episodes of this podcast, she has talked a lot about mental health stigma, especially Seasonal Affective Disorder (or S.A.D.). She struggles with S.A.D. in the winter.
She explains that she recently discovered that it is possible to struggle with Seasonal Affective Disorder in the summer too. It does happen, it is just less common than S.A.D. in the winter. The symptoms are ultimately the same: feeling sad, listless, down; with a loss of interest in your activities, loss of energy, sleep problems and appetite changes. There is more research available for winter-onset S.A.D. but the summer-onset S.A.D. is not as well known.
The hosts then have a cool discussion about probable reasons that people would suffer from S.A.D. in the summer, such as heat and humidity impacting their sleep patterns and clothing choices. Shadoe mentions that a common side effect of SSRI’s is sun-sensitivity, which makes being outside in the summer more difficult.
Victoria has a great piece of year-round advice. Be aware of the seasons you thrive and be kind to yourself during the other ones. [50:16]
We end our episode with a calming breathing exercise, led by Victoria.
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We are taking a break from our regular format to discuss the state of the world. Shadoe and Victoria have a very open and honest conversation about:
- how we are feeling about the challenging times we are in (trade wars, politics, climate change and inflation) how do we cope in our daily lives and make sure we are still staying mentally, emotionally, physically healthy so that we can stay connected and help heal the world.
-we also touch on the topics of: fear and fear-based decision making, moments of joy and hope, road rage, emotional discharge, bystander effect, sympathy and compassion for everyone, sympathy and compassion for ourselves , how important it is to take a few seconds to retrain your brain for optimism.
During our regular format, we always ask before providing feedback. But today you can be in the room as Shadoe and Victoria have a very real conversation about how they are feeling.
2 Key Takeaways:
If you regularly offer unsolicited advice, here is a strategy to keep in your back-pocket. Before offering the advice, try asking this one key question.
What can you say when you know a friend is going through something hard, without minimizing their feelings and also offering real supportive words. Stay until the end we reveal this lifechanging statement.
LINKS
Mini-Episode: What is Toxic Positivity?
Related Episode: Discharging vs. Letting Go
Most Popular Episode: Being Nicer to Myself
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On this episode we welcome guest Danielle Sebastian.
Danielle Sebastian is an expert on identifying and overcoming trauma in relationships. She is the bestselling author of "Resilient Wives: A Guide for Wives Supporting Their Husband Through Childhood Trauma Recovery" and has helped hundreds navigate and repair their relationships as they support their partners through trauma recovery. After 9 years of strain in her own marriage and through years of extensive research and development on trauma, relationships and self-care, Danielle created a signature "CARE" framework. She is a sought after speaker, and her thought leadership has been presented to audiences of over 2K. Happily married now for 14 years and the mother 2, Danielle has dedicated her life to helping partners reconnect and healing together. But most of all, her passion lies in helping partners prioritize their wellness and finding community as they work toward a healthier relationship.
To skip the check-in and go right to the regrets segment, start the episode at 15:31.Causes for Applause
- Victoria - new cat food for Olivia!
- Shadoe - learning more about guesser and asker culture
- Danielle - wonderful results from her medical tests
Regrets
- Victoria - harming her mother/daughter relationship
- Danielle - keeping everything private when she was struggling
Topics Discussed during Feedback session
- Capacity for change
- Distance can make us closer
- Shared experience and individual experience
- Rational thoughts and physiological responses
- Balance of equality and equity in parent-child relationships
- Finding support when you and your partner are struggling
- Supporting your friends without asking for the gory details
- Alienating our partners as a way to 'protect' them and why this doesn't work
- The viral blue/black or gold/white dress
- Husband support groups
- The six emotional needs
- Forgiveness is for you
Plugs and Links
- Danielle on Facebook
- Danielle on Instagram
- Article about Guesser vs. Asker Culture
- Episode about Mother-Daughter Relationships
- Episode about Our Coping Mechanisms
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Usually, our mini-episodes are hosted solo by Victoria.
For the first time, Shadoe joins in on this one!
On this episode, we discuss the six emotional needs. These emotional needs are: certainty, variety, growth, significance, love, and, contribution.
Find out more about each emotional need on this mini episode of Let's Relieve Regret!
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On this episode we welcome guest Kathy Baldwin.
Kathy is renowned for her groundbreaking work in stress mastery and body and mind alignment. She is the author of the influential book "Unlearn the Crap", its about personal success and empowerment. She specializes in uncovering and unlearning the crap that leads to stress, disease and burnout. She offers a unique approach that challenges conventional beliefs in the medical system.
To skip the check-in and go right to the regrets segment, start the episode at 17:57.Causes for Applause
- Shadoe - reuniting with friends that fill her cup!
- Kathy - affirmation of alignment (from an amazing call!)
- Victoria - dyed her hair purple again!
Regrets
- Shadoe: believing the adage "bloom where you are planted" too literally.
- Kathy: taking on the responsibility of a deathbed promise
Topics Covered in this episode
- aging is a privilege
- sunlight, sunsets and sunrises
- orchids needing a specific environment to thrive
- law of relativity
- deathbed promises
- hyper-independence and isolating yourself
- law of relativity
- birth order and the pressures of being the eldest daughter
Plugs and Links
- Kathy Baldwin, RiseUP coaching: https://unlearnthecrap.com/about
- Caren Magill (ADHD coach Shadoe mentioned during check-in)
- Let's Relieve Regret ANONYMOUS
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On this episode we discussed:
- signs of overwhelm
- the difference between creatine and creatinine
- small and slow solutions
- different kinds of allergies
- the fear of being perceived as difficult
- conflict avoidance
- conflict resolution
- benefit of the doubt
- therapy speak being broadly applied / becoming slang
- feeling better on the other side of conflict
As always, we start with a check-in and cause for applause.
To skip the check-in and go right to the regrets segment, start the episode at 24:46.
Cause for Applause
- Shadoe serendipitously stepped on a beautiful pin, made by Ontario Artisan David Beaucage Johnson.
- Victoria is enjoying the benefits of a creatine supplement.
Regrets
- Shadoe regrets allowing the shame of being a picky eater forcing her to neglect her own needs in other areas of her life.
- Victoria regrets letting anxiety "run the show", leading to avoidance.
Wrap-up
New Breaths for Season 6!
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On this episode we catch up about our summer highlights, discuss unexpected human connections and the magic of fall.
Then, during the regrets segment, we have a deep conversation about how our habits can get in the way of our progress.
To skip the check-in and go right to the regrets segment, start the episode at 18:34Cause for Applause
- Shadoe: had a phenomenal time at the P!NK Summer Carnival concert
- Victoria: met up with a podcast guest this summer IRL.
Regrets
- Victoria: getting stuck in victimhood (for just a little too long).
- Shadoe: being proud about drinking and the confusing comfort of the party-girl lifestyle.
Then, during the feedback session, we discussed:
- dial-a-bottle
- hangovers
- bed rotting
- social rubrics
- performance of identity
- self-concept
- being allowed to be loud
- group dynamics and unwritten rules
- alcohol on the ADHD brain
- loving ourselves first!
Wrap-up
- We have a new way for you to join the podcast! Let's Relieve Regret anonymous is now available!
- New Breaths for Season 6!
Plugs and Links
- Let's Relieve Regret anonymous https://forms.gle/fToMdRHjh5PRxgPs6
- Louise Carr's Episode - You Can Change at Any Age
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Welcome our guest Kerry-Ann Cummings.
Cause for applause
SB
VB
KC
Skip to regrets at:VB shares about
KC opens up about
Links:
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In this minisode Victoria talks about the 'NO REGRETS' attitude and how it can actually harm us. There is strength in talking about mistakes and regrets. By learning the 4 different common types of regrets we can better understand our SELF and we can more easily learn from them and let them go so we can move forward.
At the end of the minisode Victoria talks about how you can support us with our new BUZZSPROUT support option! We are an independent podcast and your support means we can continue to provide quality podcasts that are authentic and genuine. Supporters will get some special perks along the way!
Learn about the Power of Letting Go by coming to one of Victoria's Letting Go Meditation classes! Try our her classes for free for 14 days at www.myrecreo.health .
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During the check-ins this week, Shadoe and Victoria discuss periods and the dread of packing for a trip.
Causes for Applause
- Shadoe: Seeing Inside Out 2 at a VIP 19+ Theatre, and letting the tears flow.
- Victoria: recorded a guest spot on "Unicorns Unite" with Emily Regan and that episode will be released soon. {check out Emily on Let's Relieve Regret here: Starting Over}
To skip check-in; tune in at 20:11Regrets Segment
- Shadoe opens up about judging others for awkward silences.
- As a teenager, she was loud and talkative, and had a lot of pride about her conversation skills.
- She mistook 'keeping the conversation going' as friendship.
- As a woman in her 30s, she is learning how to share conversational space with other people, and, now, enjoys the silence.
- She is also learning how the 'loud, comical, character' persona provided a lot of protection in the past.
- Victoria shares a regret about shaving her bikini line!
- More accurately, she shares a lesson from her doctor. She recently went to the OBGYN to look at some swelling. When going over the checklist of what she should be doing; she was surprised that shaving her bikini line was one of the things she should avoid.
- So, with that, as a 43-year-old woman, she had her first wax!
- This brings the hosts back to the conversation about periods, hygiene and vaginal scent.
- Additional topics discussed in this episode include:
- Sex-Ed
- Lymph nodes
- Hidradenitis Suppurativa
- Shaving and Waxing
- Cotton Underwear
- No stupid questions
- Playing Cards
- Female Comedians
- Default Setting
- Pre-Programming
As always, we end the episode with 3 soothing breaths.
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Although Shadoe and Victoria adore hosting guests; this episode is just the two of them!
On this episode, they are both feeling upbeat and have lots of little updates! Topics range from TikTok hacks, having a cooking portfolio, and that weird thing that happens when your favourite food becomes something you can't even look at anymore.
To skip to regrets tune in at 24:18During the regrets segment, Victoria shares that she is still working on her habit of giving unsolicited advice. This leads to a conversation about how to carefully give advice and the complexities around helpful gestures. Shadoe then shares that she regrets trying to set up her friends. Platonically of course!
Something she heard a lot from people was "it's so hard to make friends as an adult", and, since she did not struggle with that, she was quick to try to use this skill. This leads to a conversation about control; and, further explores the impulse to give advice or 'solve the problem' instead of just listening.
Near the end of this episode, the hosts discovered another shared connection about their undergrad experience!
As always; we end the episode with three calming breaths.
PSST: Here are those two recipes Victoria shared that you may want to try at home!
PROTEIN PANCAKES1 cup egg whites
1 cup greek yogurt OR cottage cheese OR skyr
1 cup oats
blend all ingredients in a blender
batter will be thinner than a typical pancake
each pancake is approx 5g of protein
**recipe makes 20 pancakes
GF FUDGE
1/2 cup coconut oil
1/2 cup nut or seed butter
1/2 cup cacao powder
melt in a pot on low heat
add in maple syrup to taste (approx 1 tablespoon to 1.4 cup)
pour into lined tupperware
**allow to solidify in the fridge
it is strongly recommended that you add your own twist to both of these recipes. For example, adding your favourite toppings like dried cranberries!
Ok, Byeee, Meow!
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On this episose we welcome Marilù Ciabattoni
Marilù (Marylou) Ciabattoni is the Founder and CEO of the full-service digital agency Gingerbrand Haus. She is originally from Italy and came to Canada in 2022, at 23 years old. Previously, she also lived in the US, Turkey and The Netherlands. She started her business this year and is now looking to pursue this endeavor long-term. She has traveled to 21 countries and speaks 5 languages (even though she was raised monolingual!). On top of running her business, she also models part-time and is looking to build her portfolio. Her dream is to become a digital nomad and travel to 50+ countries in the world.
Follow Marylou here
- Professional: @mariluciabattoni
- Personal: @thekillingmind
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Finding Purpose, Setting Boundaries.
How can you easily do it?
In this minisode, Victoria talks about the pressure surrounding finding your 'life's purpose'.
We have many purposes in this life. Trying to find a singular life purpose has the potential to lead to toxic positivity. (psssst: listen to that minisode here: Toxic Positivity)
So, what can we do instead? How do we find purpose while respecting our own boundaries, needs and wants?
Victoria gives some solutions and strategies that may surprise you!
Listen now to find out how and why we can find purpose, set boundaries and find fulfillment and satisfaction.
She ends the episode with one question you should ask yourself everyday to help you make decisions and feel connected!
Listen to end for this wisdom nugget!
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~
~~
~~~
On todays’ episode, we welcome Amanda Russo, a.k.a. The Breathing Goddess.
Amanda is a Breathwork Detox facilitator, transformative mindset coach, and host of the podcast “Manders Mindset”.
Her study of mindset and empowerment began by working with children in group homes and at daycares. She then worked in family law and helped people to deescalate the challenging circumstances and emotions of divorce. During this time she also overcame her own weight and health challenges through a combination of strength training, meditation, yoga, reiki, and plant medicine.
She works with moms and men. Moms who feel like they are running on fumes and want to become more attuned to her body, breath, and needs. Men who are stressed and want to understand their mind, body, and the power of their breath.
Amanda brings a fun, friendly, and empowering energy to her sessions, but she can also crack the whip. After just a few sessions her clients experience more calmness, clarity, level-headedness, and have a glow about them. They learn to love their bodies and effectively cope with emotions. They become peaceful and all their relationships benefit. They become the best version of themselves.
She lives in Dartmouth, MA and holds sessions virtually and in person in Swansea, MA. She travels New England holding breathwork events at yoga studios and runs a group program called “Breath & Flex” that combines Breathwork Detox with circuit training fitness classes. She also runs a program for couples who want to create more love and harmony within themselves and the relationship.
Outside of work she enjoys lifting, walking, movement, yoga, listening to podcasts, animals, and nature.
As always, we start with our Check-Ins and Cause for Applause.
This time, that includes being gentle with ourselves.
We also chatted about RSD (Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria) , spring gardening and Amanda's upcoming trip to Bali!
To skip the check-in and get right to the regrets segment, please tune in at 11:05.
During the regret segments, Shadoe opens up about being fearful of recording video content.
During feedback, she compares this fear to not being able to jump off a diving board! Victoria and Amanda share some great strategies to get over this; and we make all kinds of "dive"-ing related puns!
Then, Amanda opens up about a first date that led to a car accident and waking up handcuffed to a hospital bed.
During feedback, we discuss the stress leading up to this accident as well as the frightening aftermath. Amanda takes ownership of her mistake and leads us through how this accident changed her entire life!
As always, we end the episode with 3 breaths.
This season, the breaths are about abundance!
Thank you to our guest, Amanda Russo.
Find out more about Amanda at : instagram.com/thebreathinggoddess/
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Content Warning: this episode mentions mature themes including sex, alcohol use and sexual assault.
In this episode, we recap our favourite moments from Season 4 and let you know what to expect in Season 5.
Like any regular episode, we start with our Check-ins. Then we move into the Cause For Applause segment - Victoria is pleased about feeling stronger as she recently hired a new personal trainer. Shadoe is happy about reaching out to her former hair stylist after years of cutting her own hair!
What makes a kick-off episode different?
Instead of sharing regrets we share the lessons we've learned along the way of this podcast experiment. We are so honoured that our guests from last season shared incredible stories, including
- ALEX (opened up about advocating for the help and healing she needed)
- LOUISE (being a mop trying to clean an ocean)
- SAM (trusting the people around us)
- NADIA (sensitivity is a gift)
- JYOTI/GEET (deleted her book)
As always, our conversation went on a few tangets, including:
- Oversharing as a mask for true vulnerability
- Capability vs. Capacity
- Tampons are taboo but bandages are normal
- Purpose of the podcast
- Why we "Choose the Bear"
We also review the feedback and questions received about the #metoo episode - some of it was surprising; and, showcased why it is still necessary to keep the conversation going.
Then, the episode ends with 3 Breaths, Refreshed for Season 5.
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*CONTENT WARNING This episode of Let's Relieve Regret has general discussion about sexual assault and specific discussion of rape. If you need support please reach out to your local crisis centre. For more resources please visit: https://findahelpline.com/ and https://endingviolencecanada.org/.
If you are a regular listener of the podcast you will notice this episode is a bit different. We skip the check-in and cause for applause and hold a space for Victoria to share her personal #metoo story. Shadoe also shares an experience of being a support for a victim and the struggles there as well.
We wanted to do this special episode to keep the #metoo discussion going. We believe that hearing others stories helps us feel less alone, sharing our stories helps us feel heard and that there are many ways to provide support and healing, even if it's just listening and saying I believe you.
Thanks so much for your support.
Much 💜,
Shadoe and Victoria
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On this episode, we are thrilled to be joined by Louise Carr, Certified Holistic Nutrition Consultant. Her bio follows the episode description below.
Episode Description:
During the check-in, Shadoe is a 7 out of 10 and Victoria is a 7.5. But then Louise shares a Cause of Applause that brings everyone's energy up!
To skip the check-in. tune in at 10:08.Victoria shares first, exploring the delicate balance between being a pushover vs using anger to stand up for herself. We then chat about the coping mechanisms we pick up in puberty as well as the natural process of neural pruning that happens during perimenopause.
Then, Louise shares her regret about staying in a relationship with a covert narcissist for too long.
We then have an intense conversation about narcissism, anxiety and going down the rabbit hole. We also discuss how much easier it is to focus on others instead of ourselves. For example, when Louise did leave her relationship; she became hyper-vigilant about her kids.
Shadoe suggests that Louise could count the wins of this experience as a potential reframe.
As always, we conclude the episode with 3 calming breaths of letting go.
Shadoe's appearance on Unforget Yourself
Louise Carr Bio:
Louise works with midlife women who are feeling exhausted, depleted, and out of balance in their life with ALL the uncomfortable symptoms of perimenopause.
The food we eat daily has the power to reduce our symptoms of menopause and is a tool you can use to manage your menopause experience.
In her online course Menopause U, Louise educates women to know exactly what is happening to their hormones in midlife using clear and easy to understand language, she advises on the nutrition your body is craving which will reduce uncomfortable symptoms, help you reclaim your sleep and which boosts their energy. Louise aims to empower midlife women with the information their mothers never gave them and will guide you through the lifestyle changes that help you to shift out of the loss of confidence, fear of menopause and overwhelm that can arise in midlife.
When you understand the power your diet holds to help you manage your menopause experience you step out of the battle with your body and regain your mojo as you deeply nourish and nurture your health. Your goal is to BUILD your health, even in hormonal change, so you can boost your daily energy, protect your bone, brain and heart health and extend your active years for an exciting next chapter.
- Recipe Book:https://www.louisecarrnutrition.com/recipebook
- Instagram: @louise.carr.nutrition
- Private Facebook Group: The Nourished Midlife Woman
- Online course: Menopause U
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Guest Bio
Our guest today is Sam Mitchell and he runs a successful podcast called Autism Rocks and Rolls. He has autism and this podcast has exploded and become very successful! He is here today to spread the mission of his podcast and nonprofit.
He has thousands of downloads on Autism Rocks and Rolls, and has had some big names on his show: Armani Williams, first NASCAR driver open about having autism, and American Idol Rocker James Durbin who has autism and Tourette’s. His biggest guest of all was Dr. Temple Grandin, professor in Animal Science at Colorado State University and autism activist. He even had WWE legend Mick Foley on his show! Huge guests are upcoming as well!
He is also a motivational speaker, entrepreneur, writer and blogger. He sells merchandise, has several sponsors, sells ad space and loves to promote his podcast and business. He also has a published TED Talk called Souled Structure.
Official Website is https://autismrocksandrolls.com/
He is a high-functioning human being on the autism spectrum, and on a mission to show people that he is not broken, does not need to be fixed, there is no normal in this world. He is successful, with autism. He wants to celebrate the successes of all people. He embraces who he is and feels as though everyone should do the same. His mission is powerful and this extraordinary idea is catching on and getting the world’s attention.
He has made it to the top 10 in the People's Choice Podcast Awards, placed second in the state of Indiana for the JAG Entrepreneurship project, was selected as the best business at the CEO trade show in Indiana, have had tremendous guests on show, and is in the top 200 podcasts in all of Canada while also being a current Davey Award winner.
Episode Description
During the Check-In, all three of us are feeling pretty good!
We talk about concerts, music festivals and more.
to skip to the regrets, tune in at 9:12
Shadoe opens up about feeling weird about the grieving process. Her grandmother passed on April 1, 2019; and, five years later, Shadoe is guilting herself over a 'proper way to grieve'.
Sam and Victoria offer great feedback and some solutions to help her find the closure she desires.
Then, Sam opens up about being bullied when he was younger. This has led to an ongoing regret about trusting the people in his corner.
This leads to a conversation about how our inner critic can be louder than many kind voices.
As always, we end the episode with our three breaths of letting go.Resources mentioned in this episode:
- Autism Rocks and Rolls Episode 255: Rest in Peace
- Let's Relieve Regret, Geet's Episode - discussion of Worry Time strategy
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Get your copy of the LET GO E-Book!
On this Minisode, Victoria explains Radical Self-Care.
Sometimes, self-care is seen as a bonus (like a bubble bath) instead of an essential life skill.
It is important for us to take care of all of our "selves".
It is not selfish to focus on filling our own cup. In fact, it helps us build up an overflow. That way, we can give help to others without becoming resentful or burnt out.
One way to help fill our cup is to practice the art of affirmations.
Affirmations are less effective when they are about who you want to be. Move the focus to how you want to feel instead.
Stay tuned to the very end for examples of simple and effective affirmations you can add to your radical self-care toolbox.
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On this episode, we welcome special guest Jyoti Dhanota (a.k.a. Geet- full bio below the episode description).During our check-in, everyone is feeling pretty upbeat and enjoying some much-needed sunnier weather. We also have a laugh about how confusing it is to convert Celsius to Fahrenheit and vice-versa.
For the Causes for Applause, Shadoe is happy about upcoming alone time, Geet had a wonderful meditation class earlier in the week, and Victoria celebrates life-long learning.
To skip the check-in; tune in at 15:57Shadoe then opens up about a bad habit she has picked up, and that is allowing nostalgia to put her in a bad mood. For example, when she is missing her old neighbourhood, she downplays the benefits of her current neighbourhood, and gets into that self-doubt place.
Geet then has a helpful tool to use here - and that is setting a timer for "Worry Time", or, in Shadoe's case "Nostalgia Time".
Then, Geet opens up about a powerful moment that happened the day before we recorded the podcast - she deleted her latest book! And, instead of that feeling scary, it felt freeing. As she says in the episode "I felt like it's gone, but I didn't feel empty."
We then have a fruitful discussion about family expectations and the challenges we face when turning certain ages. Funnily enough, it's not the number that matters, but, how we feel about those numbers throughout our lives. Jyoti's Bio
Jyoti Dhanota, also known by her preferred professional pseudonym "Geet," is a prolific self-published author renowned for her extensive literary portfolio, comprising 11 captivating books available on reputable platforms such as Amazon. Specializing in the genre of fictional romance, Geet fearlessly tackles taboo subjects prevalent in South Asian communities, thereby contributing to a more inclusive and diverse literary landscape. Her dedication extends beyond storytelling, as she actively seeks to address the underrepresentation of Punjabi culture within literature, fostering a more authentic and representative narrative.
For those interested in engaging further with Geet's work and insights, she maintains a strong presence on prominent social media platforms, including Instagram and TikTok, under the handle @GeetisBooked.
Additionally, comprehensive information about her background, publications, and upcoming projects can be found on her professional profile hosted at Geetwrites.carrd.co.
Geet on GoodReads | Geet on Amazon
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In this episode, we start with the Joy of Mini-Weiner dogs!!
We also discuss that great feeling of not needing to minimize the things that bring us joy. (eg. Victoria is a Proud Health Nerd and loves her new temu products!)
To skip the check-in and just listen to the regrets, skip to 11:47Victoria opens up about how she is feeling regarding a keloid scar she has from abdominal surgery two years ago. Interestingly enough; the shame she has about the scar is very similar to the shame she felt about needing the surgery in the first place. She recognizes that there is a pattern to it - advocating for herself a lot and then pulling away in hopes to not bother anyone.
Check out s1, E6: COWORKERS for more about Victoria's Fibroid surgery.
During the feedback session, Shadoe and Victoria talk about the pressure of being a "Good Patient" and not advocating for yourself. It is so much easier to advocate on the behalf of others!
Shadoe then shares Part 3 of her regret "not accepting help for things she should know how to do".
Part 1 was her job title;
Part 2 was keeping a tidy home; and, today,
Part 3 is: sticking to a fitness routine.
Regular listeners may remember the BEING NICER TO MYSELF episode from season 2 when Shadoe shared that she regrets using exercise as a punishment. It turns out, that this motivation is still really difficult to 'get over', and, keeps her fearful.
As always, we end our episode with three soothing breaths to let go!
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During the check-in this week, Shadoe is at a 4/10 since she still has a lingering cold. But, her Cause For Applause is that she is getting better!
Victoria is in much better spirits and her Cause For Applause is Ben and James from Tori's Bakeshop. One day, Shadoe and Victoria will visit this cafe together and both drink Heavenly Cream tea.
To skip the check-in, please jump to 9:46Shadoe continues her 3-part series of releasing regrets asking for help on the things she should know how to do. Last week it was her job title, this week it is keeping her house tidy.
Victoria then gives great feedback and asks important, challenging questions. Shadoe does not have all the answers but is ready to re-evaluate why the judgement of others is more important to her than her own judgment.
From there, Victoria shares that she can feel "the wall" coming back in her interactions with other people. This leads to a conversation about wiggling in hugs being a sign to check-in with yourself! This part of the episode also explains the difference between BIG T Trauma and little t trauma.
As always, the episode ends with 3 breaths of letting go.
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We start with our check-in, which includes the different levels of friendliness in Toronto neighbourhoods.
Cause for Applause this week: finding the joy in the snow.
Skip to 10:01 to get straight to the regrets.Victoria opens up about mistaking self-confidence for self-worth. Luckily, her physiotherapist helped tweak her path to a more balanced way of living.
Shadoe opens up about being too afraid to ask for help for the things she "should" know how to do.
As always, we end with our three breaths of letting go.
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Have you been wondering how to be a guest on Lets Relieve Regret? Find out how in this episode!
Step 1: fill out the Guest Application Form
Step 2: pre-interview with Victoria or Shadoe to review any questions and set up a time to record.
Step 3: Receive the Regret Worksheet to help guide you in writing your regret and relief statements.
(You are free to write and paraphrase in your own style. You may want to practice saying it out loud a few times as well.)
Step 4: Record Episode
That's it!
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This episode starts with a quick discussion of the sarcastic reel Shadoe posted on her IG.
This episode was recorded on Groundhog Day; a day that Shadoe has hated in the past! This year, she wants to lean into the fun and joy that this day brings for people.
During our check-ins, we discuss this in more detail.
Victoria also explains how to use Instagram to stay in the present moment. Check out her Facebook Group "Worry Free & Joyful Living" for a replay of IG 101!
To skip the check-ins, tune in at 26:31.
Shadoe goes first today - and, her regret is a desire for chaos.
Looking back, she realizes that she mistakes predictability for boredom; and, when the boredom kicks in; she finds all kinds of ways to bring chaos back in.
This is not followed by feedback; as, for today, she just wanted to be heard.
Then, for Victoria's share, she opens up about watching "too much" TV, especially at night. She talks about revenge watching and how this impacts sleep.
Funnily enough, she does not want feedback today either.
So, we wrap up our episode, as always, with our three breaths of letting go!
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During this episode, Victoria opens up about the impacts of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and Shadoe explores lingering regret about her art project; "The Word Fat".
As always, we start with our check-in. This week that includes:
- mega-sleep
- puns
- human connection
Then, Victoria shares a cause for applause about the latest episode, a letter from Nurse Alex. (8:03)
To skip the check ins, jump in at 11:46
Victoria opens up about the cycle of punishment that comes with unrealistic expectations. In particular, trying to make summer happen during the winter.
As a person living with SAD, it is extremely difficult for Victoria to wake up early, and, she has spent a lot of time punishing herself for that instead of leaning into it.
For example, she has learned that a nature walk each day is a prescription, but it does not have to be the first thing of the day - as long as it happens at some point each day.
Shadoe explores lingering regrets about starting an art project with the word 'fat' without having more understanding of fat liberation first.
As she states in the episode, "it felt good to channel the creative energy into something that could help me with self-esteem" and “I’ve moved past feeling insulted by someone who would call me fat. And 13-Year-Old Me would have never thought that was possible.”
However, this project uncovered that there is a lot more layers to fat liberation that she was not ready to address properly. This project has been on hiatus for more than 2 years and she is putting a lot of pressure on herself to create the 'perfect piece' of content to wrap it up.
As always, we complete the episode with our three breaths.
~o~O~o~ May You Be Well ~o~O~o~~o~O~o~
~o~O~o~ May You Be Kind to Yourself ~o~O~o~
~o~O~o~ May You Be Safe and at Ease ~o~O~o~
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~o~O
~o~O~o~
~o~
~
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In this episode, we welcome Alex Burcea.
Alex is Victoria's sister-in-law and a compassionate, wonderful person that shared with us a regret about putting herself last.
As always, we start the episode with our check-ins and cause for applause. This week, that includes catching up with an old friend (Shadoe), presenting at a panel event (Victoria) and Doing Something NEW on her birthday (Alex).
To skip this part, tune in at 10:15.
For the regrets, Shadoe shares that she regrets forgetting how much she enjoys alone time. In addition, she feels guilty about complaining about how much she needs this, and, somewhat ironically, cannot solve her need for alone time on her own.
During the feedback session, we discuss toxic gratitude, as well as intrusive thoughts such as "be careful what you wish for".
Then, Alex opens up about her regret, which is about not prioritizing her own health and wellness.
During the feedback session, we discuss the warning signs to look out for. If you are having trouble falling asleep, or losing interest in the things you love; that is when you need to reach out for help.
We discuss this with a lot of detail; and, although we don't have the answers, we were all able to agree that We are so willing to help others, but, many times, afraid to ask for that same help.
We then finish the episode with three new breaths!
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Here is more about Alex, in her own words:
"I am a Critical Care and Coronary Care certified Registered Nurse, specializing in Cardiology. Until recently I have worked with Critically Ill patients primarily in Cardiac Intensive Care. My work included being part of the Resuscitation Team (often referred to as Code Blue team), and primary care and responsibility for people experiencing a Critical Illness. I have worked in multiple other areas of medicine, but Cardiology has always had my Heart (pun intended).
I am a mother to two boys and a wife to an amazing man. I am currently working on my physical and mental recovery."
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We were thrilled to have Alex on the show and hope that she comes back again!
If you want to be a guest on Let's Relieve Regret, reach out to us on Instagram @relieve.regret or by email at relieve.regret@gmail.com
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Welcome to Season 4!
On this episode, we welcome Nadia Shahbaz. Nadia Shahbaz is a writer and former news producer of Afghan and Italian heritage. Her work has been published in a variety of magazines and illuminated on buildings in New York City. She is currently working on a novel on her Sicilian family’s fascist past. She also runs a community writing studio and newsletter on how creativity changes us called The Dormer Window.
As always, we start this episode with our check-ins and cause for applause segment. For this episode, that includes haircuts, blowouts, paper crafts and December birthdays.
To jump straight to the regrets, tune in at 13:20.
Victoria opens up about how difficult it is to define a boundary versus a grudge.
Sometimes, it is very clear. In some relationships, one person is giving, giving, giving with nothing in return. Other times, it is not as clear. How do you make sure you stand up for yourself without hurting someone else?
During the feedback portion, we talk about how Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) can feed low self-worth. We also explore Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD), the concept of a Power Circle and giving ourselves the love we give others.
Then, our guest Nadia opens up about criticism she received about being 'too sensitive'.
At the time, she believed it; perceiving her sensitivity as a burden instead of the incredible gift it really is. Learning how to fine-tune your sensitivity can make you a better artist, writer and person. It can bring you closer to your loved ones.
However, sensitivity is rarely welcome in the corporate bubble. Shadoe then shares an experience about being asked to work on her 'tofu', absorbing all the bad energy in the room to try and make things light and fun! This leads to a conversation about the book 'The Highly Sensitive Person' by Elaine Anon, inputs and outputs, and how it might be time to redefine what success looks like!
Tune in at 55:41 to hear a great tip from Victoria about how to support a member of your team that you might think is too sensitive, without using the words you're too sensitive.
We close out our episode by briefly discussing masculine and feminine energies. We will need to have Nadia back on the show to discuss that in more detail!!
As always, we finish the episode with our three breaths.
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Want to know more about Nadia? Follow her here:
https://www.nadiashahbaz.com/
https://www.instagram.com/nadiashahbaz_writer
https://nadiashahbaz.substack.com/
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It was our 1st Anniversary on November 17, 2023!
The lead up was so exciting!!
A year, already?!
Wowee!
And then the day came, and we didn't feel like celebrating. Both of us were only feeling around a 5/10 and thought about postponing the recording until a day we felt better.
However, we want to make sure that we avoid Toxic Positivity and follow our own advice of you can be disappointed and still do stuff.
With that in mind, this episode is a little different than our standard episodes. We will not share a specific regret during this episode. Instead, the first half of the episode is a check-in.
We needed a longer check-in, since we both needed to discuss what was weighing heavily on our mind, such as:
- Decreased sunlight and S.A.D.
- Changing our habits
- Holiday season stress, guilt and expectations
- Setting intentions and sticking to them
To skip the check-in, tune in at 31:06
For the second half of the episode, we discuss the formula or our podcast as well as our tips for how to practice deeper conversations with your closest friends.
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During this episode, Victoria and Shadoe welcome Urmi Hossain to the show. Read more about Urmi following the episode description.
Episode Description:
As always, we start with our check-in and discuss Wonder Walks. Wonder Walks are a way to tap-in to our sense of playfulness and joy on something as simple as a daily walk. Seeking something new each day to stay in the present moment. We also go on a long tangent about squirrels. Did you know a group of squirrels is called a scurry?
To skip the check-in portion, skip to 17:10.Then, during the sharing portion of the episode; Shadoe opens up her regrets about letting close friendships go stale, and how she desperately wants to reach out to old friends, but, at the same time, has so many reservations about it. This leads to a conversation about uneven reciprocation, the desire to see how people change, the desire to show others how we've changed, and more.
After that, Urmi opens up about her regrets about not practicing reading and writing in her mother tongue of Bengali. She can still speak it and she can read and write in several other languages. This leads to a thoughtful conversation about slow and small solutions (like practicing one word per day) and the idea that we do not need to take action on our regrets in order to release them.
As always, we end with our three breaths of letting go.
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Urmi Hossain Bio:
Urmi Hossain is Bengali by blood and Italian by birth. She works in the financial services industry in Canada, where she is currently residing. She is a self-published author, blogger, speaker, polyglot, and mentor.
Her first book is: Discovering your identity, a rebirth from interracial struggle.
She is an advocate of women's empowerment and very passionate about teaching and mentoring other girls and women. She is the Social Media Lead for Women In Leadership Canada (Victoria Chapter). She enjoys being a promoter of self-investing and personal development. In her free time, she enjoys reading books and boxing.
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Find out more about Urmi here:
- Youtube
- Blog (MyWays)
And pick up her book here!
- Discovering Your Identity : A Rebirth From Interracial Struggle
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In this short podcast episode, Victoria explains Toxic Positivity.
Toxic Positivity is a way we try to stay upbeat. However, toxic positivity can lead to losing empathy instead of actually helping someone feel better.
In this episode, Victoria provides examples of toxic positivity as as well as an alternative way to connect with others and ourselves.
We want to feel the lighter emotions more often, but, practicing GOOD VIBES ONLY ultimately leads to pushing our emotions down.
Try validation and reassurance instead.
Here are a few examples of that:
"You can do hard things, and I believe in you."
"There is a lot than can go wrong; but what could go right?"
This episode is now available on Youtube!
https://youtu.be/ZPboYgfxq_g
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In our check-in, we discuss making adjustments to things we love in order to sustainably keep them. For example, Shadoe recently invested in necklace extenders and has been able to upcycle heirloom jewelry.
Victoria's cause for applause is seeing the sunrise. We then all talk about the power of routine. (spoiler alert, Shadoe gets BORED when this happens).
To skip the check-in, tune in at 13:47.
Shadoe opens up about being afraid of the marketing potential of her middle name (spoiler alert # 2 - it's Crystal).
Tina shares a regret that begins with... "not ever finishing what I started".
It is super relatable to Shadoe and Victoria - for different reasons!
And we all relate that starting projects is so much fun!!
This leads to a conversation about closure; being type-a, and virgo tendencies.
We also touch on the benefit of trying out things and finding out that they are actually not for you!!
Shadoe admits that "Hobby Jumping is Her Hobby".
Victoria and Shadoe are SO grateful that Tina joined us on this episode.
Here is more info about Tina, in her own words:
My name is Tina Sucevic. I am the owner of Call. Create. Content, the creative drive-thru of content marketing! I love creating content and developing fun and effective social media marketing strategies for my clients. I also own a clothing brand called It's Striking, where I redesign second-hand clothing. I recently completed my Master's in Milan, Italy and am now working as a Social Media Specialist at a tech company and running my own businesses! I would love to connect with you all, so feel free to reach me on my handles provided below:
- Personal Instagram & TikTok: @tinasucevicc
- Call. Create. Content Instagram: @callcreatecontent
- It's Striking Instagram: @itsstriking
- My website: www.callcreatecontent.com
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In this episode, it is our absolute pleasure to welcome our second guest, Sonam Singh!
- More About Sonam Singh
- Sonam is a licensed and registered psychotherapist (qualifying) at Shifting Your State Therapy. Having used her experience as an elementary school teacher, she began practicing a year ago as a licensed therapist and loves the work she does. She empowers her clients through positive psychology and solutions and reframing their thoughts and beliefs as they see fit. Sonam specializes in working with BIPOC individuals and specifically the South Asian community, as doing the work in the community she belongs to is of great importance to her.
Episode Description
- During the check-in, we discuss S.A.D., the transition season, connecting to nature, and clothing swaps!
- To skip the check-in, please tune in at: 9:51
- Victoria shares a regret about her wardrobe/closet. Turns out that Christian is able to keep a minimalist wardrobe, but, it's something that Victoria struggles with!
- Then, Sonam opens up about doubting the impact she has on others.
- This leads to a conversation about limiting beliefs, living in fear, imposter syndrome, and taking time to make decisions.
- As always, we end with our three breaths of letting go, led by Victoria.
More about Sonam
Sonam's link to a free consultation can be found on her Instagram page @ShiftingYourStateTherapy and linked below.
https://shiftingyourstatetherapy.janeapp.com
Sonam Psychology Today Profile
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In this mini-episode, Victoria explains the difference between guilt, shame and regret.
She also explains the four types of regret: foundation, boldness, moral and connection.
As this is a mini-episode, there is no check in and no three breaths of letting go. However, these are available in all regular length episodes!
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"Never underestimate the power of sleep, sunshine and water".
We start this episode with a correction regarding the tree story Shadoe told in the previous episode.
Victoria then gives an update about how her sleep experiment is going so far!
We also chat about crisp fall weather and a few magical moments we saw at the lake.
To skip the check-in and get right to the regrets, tune in in at 15:24.Shadoe's regret is 'mistaking predictability for boredom.' She begrudgingly admits that some structure is nice. After thriving in chaos for a long time, this has been a difficult adjustment.
Victoria's regret is about being 'late for everything'. She recently learned about time-blindess which is one of Shadoe's favourite topics! We discuss a few strategies for how to break this habit, or, at the very least, become more aware of the impact it can have on others.
As always, we end with our three breaths of letting go.
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"Are you here for battle?"
During this episode, our check-in includes Head of the Trent stories, embarrassing moments and axe-throwing. We also talk about unseasonable warmth and how to prep for winter.
Click here to join the 'Worry Free and Joyful Living' Facebook Group. Members of this group have access free Motivational Monday video calls!
At 14:22, we almost start the regrets; but then we got into a mini debate about the usefulness of the phrase "It is What it Is".
To skip the check-in and get straight to the regrets, tune in at 18:05.
Victoria's regret is creating Inbox Chaos - having so many promotional emails that she misses important ones. The avoidance of sorting through this mess has impacted her own marketing!
Shadoe's regret is starting so many regrets with the word not. For example, she has never driven a motorcycle; and although she doesn't want to, she wants to have a cooler reason. Victoria correctly identifies that this is related to a fear - the fear of being uninteresting.
As always, we end our episode with 3 breaths of letting go.
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"Measure with your own yardstick."
In this episode, both of us have regrets to share about our small businesses.
As always, we start with our check-in; discussing the classic would you rather question "Would You Rather Be Too Hot or Too Cold?".
Jump to 11:37 to skip the check-in and get into our regrets.
Shadoe goes first - opening up about the frustration of applying to jobs this summer.
Victoria helps her see that this was potentially a procrastination tactic.
Victoria then opens up about the major ego-hit that happened when Instagram deleted her account. Shadoe helps her see that this might have been a forced pivot that helped her build up the My Recreo community.
We then both discuss missing the old instagram; the one that was focused on images instead of video!
As always, we close with our three breaths of letting go; refreshed for season 3.
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"Our brains need outside support. We need outside perspective to function as a human being."
Welcome to a new season of Lets Relieve Regret! In this episode, we talk about how our brains can trick us.
As always, we start with our check-in. This episode was recorded in mid-July, just before the Barbie movie came out. This impacts the episode in more ways than one!
To skip our check-in, jump to 8:40.
Shadoe's regret is about not learning marketing and struggling with connecting to why it is an important step to help your projects grow.
Victoria's regret is about not sleeping more. More accurately, this regret is about de-valuing the importance of good sleep.
We end our episode with three breaths of release; completely refreshed for season 3!
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In this episode, we answer questions from our listeners and wrap up season two.
As always, we start with a check-in. To skip this and get right to the Q's and A's, start the episode at 15:31.
Questions include:
- When did you meet?
- How long have you been friends?
- Why are you never at a 2 out of 10 during check-in?
- Do you use templates?
- Can I be on the podcast?
Season Three starts next week!
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"No marriage is perfect, but must of the time its pretty great."
This week, we are re-releasing our very first episode! It's all about our weddings!!
To skip the intro and check-in, jump to 7:58.
Shadoe regrets planning her own wedding and not knowing how to ask for help.
Victoria regrets not standing up to one of her family members.
As always, we end with our three breaths of letting go.
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"This feels like a charley horse of emotional growth".
To skip our check-in, skip to 12:31.
Shadoe talks about choosing easy hobbies.
Around the 37:00 minute mark, we also calculate how many hours are available in a week (168!)
Victoria then teaches us about Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria and Recognition Response Euphoria.
Then, she opens up about a pattern she has of jumping 'all in' when someone asks for her help.
We then have an interesting conversation about self-diagnosis!
As always, we finish our episode with three breaths of letting go.
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Support the showThank you for listening!
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https://www.instagram.com/relieve.regret/
Join the MY RECREO wellness community with Victoria here: www.myrecreo.healthHelp keep our podcast going by supporting us at:
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"Wherever I go, I go."
In this episode, we are so excited to introduce Ana Alexandre, creator of the Vitalicious Nutrition Program. Ana and Victoria have been good friends for a long time!
As always, we start with our check-in, share two regrets and end with our three breaths of letting go. The difference is that only one host will share and then our guest will share too!
To skip the check-in, please jump to 8:29
Shadoe shares her regrets about using a calorie tracking app.
Ana shares her regrets about moving to a new country.
Special Offer for Our Listeners!
CLICK Here to sign up for Ana's Vitalicious Nutrition Program and use the discount code: REGRET to get 15% off when you sign up.
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This week we talk about transitioning to a 'real' wardrobe after years of comfy clothes.
To skip the check-in, please fast forward to 13:33.
Victoria opens up about undercharging for her services when she started her business! This leads to an interesting conversation about value and how to keep our cup full.
Shadoe opens up about not trying stand-up comedy and how it has been a source of embarrassment for her. Spoiler alert! It turns out that this is related to her ongoing issue with hosting this podcast!
You can help us keep this experiment going by supporting us here:
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This episode is all about that hard-to-define line between a social connection (like a colleague) and an emotional connection (like your longest friendships).
We open this episode talking about how we both feel calm and content this week. Regular listeners will know that is rare for us!
To skip the check-in and get right to our regret letters, please start the episode at 13:24.
Victoria shares that she has regrets about mistaking social connections for emotional ones. This is somewhat related to a previous regret about staying in relationships too long; but it is another layer!
Shadoe opens up about a specific time that she overshared with someone about the pressures she was feeling about having kids. She also made a huge mistake in assuming something about this person. Thankfully, this person took the time to graciously correct her. Victoria helps Shadoe realize that there is a way to be grateful about this memory instead of guilty.
We also talk about one of our favourite movies! (Hint: its a pixar movie allll about emotions)!
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Welcome back everyone! Both of us are feeling energized by being outside again!!
This is a super fun episode. If you were a teenager in the 90s you will likely laugh a few times and nod your head more than once!
During the check-in; Victoria tells us all about how much Spring Cleaning she has been up to. She calls it Spring Clearing.
Shadoe is really upbeat because she had just had a wonderful dentist appointment!
To skip the check-in portion of this episode; please jump ahead to 19:34.
Shadoe shares a regret about using BFRB's as a coping mechanism. She opted for no feedback this time as it is a regret that she is still working on.
Victoria then shares a regret about her skin care routine!
This then leads to a lively conversation about societal standards and how we pass along beauty secrets. We also talk about how most men and most women have a very different set of 'rules' that we are supposed to follow! Like, armpit hair for example . . .
Listen now and let us know where you like to listen to the podcast!
We will share the best answers on our Instagram Page!
Acronyms used in this episode:
DOOM: "Didn't Organize; Only Moved".
- The little collections of 'random items' that don't have a home in your home. You don't want to throw it away, or keep it, so you put them in a bag or box and tuck it away in a closet.
BFRB: Body-Focused Repetitive Behaviours
- These are compulsive habits that include skin picking, biting your nails or pulling your hair out.
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In this episode we discuss ways to be nicer to ourselves.
As always, we start our episode with a check-in. The check-in this week is full of joy and hope; as we welcome springtime. If you want to skip this part, please jump to 8:51.
Victoria shares regrets about staying in relationships too long, allowing the relationship to sour and tarnish the good memories. This leads to a conversation about how to recognize the signs that a relationship is about to sour, and what we can do to evolve and change. This is also not just about romantic and personal relationships!
Relationships can be with ourselves, our hobbies, nature, finances, work and a lot of other things!
Shadoe shares regrets about her relationship with exercise. Growing up as a person in a large body, she used a lot of negative self-talk to motivate herself. As she learned more about being nicer to herself, she stopped exercising completely. We then have a discussion about how to find the joy in exercise vs using exercise as a punishment.
We also talk about Shadoe's experience with an exercise rehabilitation program and the concept of Legacy Goals.
As always, we end our episode with three breaths of letting go.
Thank you for listening!
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This episode deals with regrets about anger.
As always, we start with a check-in on how we've been doing. This goes on a little longer than usual now that we've seen some sunnier weather! If you want to skip this part just jump ahead to 11:04.
Shadoe goes first today, and reveals that she has regrets about losing her temper. This is not a specific story, just an overall feeling of shame and guilt over all the times she threw a temper tantrum.
A surprising part of this regret is that losing your temper can have two meanings. Victoria encourages Shadoe to be curious about where the line is between harming others and herself.
Then, Victoria shares a regret about trusting someone that turned out to be a scam artist. This person was a master manipulator and found ways to financially and emotionally scam many people.
At the 56:00 minute mark; we talk about Imposter Syndrome and how some of our brightest friends are the ones most held back by it!
We end the episode with 3 breaths of letting go.
Thank you for listening!
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In this episode we open up about how good it feels to have longer days and late sunsets. We also talk about fads like thick rimmed glasses and the word cringe.
Skip ahead to 9:03 to get to the regrets.
Victoria goes first today, and she shares a regret she has about dropping the f-bomb at work!
During the feedback portion, Victoria realizes this moment may have actually been the exact push she needed to bring down her professional wall and offer a more authentic version of herself.
Then, Shadoe reveals a regret she has held since 2017 when she met RuPaul in NYC and made a complete fool of herself!
From there we dive into a conversation about human connection and celebrity sightings.
We also discuss the concerning rise in hate towards drag queens and how it is increasingly important to move through the world with kindness.
As always, we end with our 3 healing breaths of letting go.
Thank you for listening!
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In this episode, we begin Season Two!
This episode deals with regrets that have been weighing heavily on us. As always, we start with a check-in on how we've been doing. If you want to skip this part just jump ahead to 7:12.
Shadoe reveals that she has regrets following her action and inaction following a car accident in 2010 as well as how this continues to impact her wellbeing today.
During the feedback session, Victoria teaches Shadoe about the Verticular Activation System. We also have a deep discussion about the cycle of negative self talk.
Then, Victoria reveals a recent regret about stepping on the scale. From there we have a dynamic conversation about about how an obsession with weight has not made us healthier.
It turns out that although weight is tied to a lot of different memories for each of us, there is an overlap of expectations and very similiar experiences!
We end the episode with 3 breaths of letting go; with refreshed mantras for Season 2!
Thank you for listening!
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In this episode we do a check-in and debrief about how we think our experiment is going.
a.k.a: our regrets about sharing our regrets!
Shadoe has regrets about the production and marketing of the podcast.
Victoria regrets overpreparing before publishing.
Other highlights include:
- At 18:31, Victoria explains the six emotional needs (certainty, variety, growth, to feel important, to feel loved, to be of service) and how blocking compliments impacts these needs.
- At 32:30, we have a spirited conversation about expecting guests to take off their shoes.
- At 48:10, we discuss the habit of starting meetings with a 'cause for applause' and the benefits of celebrating small wins.
As always, we end with our 3 breaths of letting go.
Stay tuned for Season 2 . . .
Thank you for listening!
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Join the MY RECREO wellness community with Victoria here: www.myrecreo.healthHelp keep our podcast going by supporting us at:
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In our final episode of Season 1, Victoria and Shadoe discuss:
- Signs of aging and how to reframe them as signs of living.
- Victoria’s story about a field trip to the zoo that gives her the ‘shame heebie-jeebies’.
- Shadoe’s ongoing fear of running into childhood bullies.
As always, we finish our episode with Three Breaths of Letting Go.
Thank you for listening!
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Join the MY RECREO wellness community with Victoria here: www.myrecreo.healthHelp keep our podcast going by supporting us at:
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In this episode, Victoria and Shadoe discuss
- In this episode, Victoria and Shadoe discuss
- The strategy of how to deal with worry loops by writing them down.
- Managing our emotions in a way that helps us heal.
- Ignoring our emotions in a way that keeps us stuck.
As always, we finish our episode with Three Breaths of Letting Go.
Thank you for listening!
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Join the MY RECREO wellness community with Victoria here: www.myrecreo.healthHelp keep our podcast going by supporting us at:
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In this episode, Victoria and Shadoe discuss
- Intention setting using small solutions instead of resolutions.
- Victoria’s experience with her rowing coach.
- Shadoe’s experience with leaning on bullying other people for a cheap laugh.
As always, we finish our episode with Three Breaths of Letting Go.
Thank you for listening!
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Join the MY RECREO wellness community with Victoria here: www.myrecreo.healthHelp keep our podcast going by supporting us at:
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“Were you being lazy or was it self preservation?”
In this episode, Shadoe and Victoria discuss the fear of being seen as lazy.
- Shadoe talks about her regrets about trying too hard to impress others instead of going for what she really wanted to do when she was at a crossroads.
- Victoria talks about her regrets about guilting herself about being lazy when she started her business.
- We also find out more about our shared ties to Peterborough!
As always, we finish our episode with 3 Healing Breaths for Letting Go.
Thank you for listening!
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In this episode, Shadoe and Victoria discuss the tricky balance of being too loud vs being too quiet.
- Shadoe regrets dominating group discussion; especially in the workplace.
- Victoria regrets not speaking up more about her physical health.
- Victoria also teaches Shadoe all about fibroids!
As always, we finish our episode with 3 Healing Breaths for Letting Go.
Thank you for listening!
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In this episode, Shadoe and Victoria discuss regrets related to fading into the background.
- Shadoe regrets holding on to the "not like other girls" phase.
- Victoria regrets not advocating about her mental health in the workplace.
- We start the episode with some of our d-i-y beauty techniques.
As always, we end with our 3 Breaths of Letting Go.
Thank you for listening!
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In this episode, Shadoe and Victoria discuss the possibility that our pets can see ghosts!
- Victoria also shares her regrets about not working out during the pandemic.
- Shadoe shares her regrets about not wearing a bra during the pandemic.
As always, we finish with our 3 breaths of letting go.
Thank you for listening!
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In this episode, Shadoe and Victoria discuss regrets about our childhood hobbies.
- Shadoe regrets quitting recreational activities like hiking and biking.
- Victoria regrets leaving musical activities such as singing and choir.
- We also talk about our food allergies off the top!
As always, we end with our 3 breaths of letting go.
Thank you for listening!
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In this episode, Victoria and Shadoe discuss a lighter topic - how they both had mishaps that led to missing eyebrows!
- Victoria has an experience at a bar that she will never forget.
- Shadoe has a mishap with a d-i-y beauty solution that she will never buy again.
- As always, we finish our episode with 3 healing breaths for letting go.
Thank you for listening!
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In this episode, Victoria and Shadoe discuss what they wish they had done differently at their weddings.
Shadoe regrets planning her own wedding!
Victoria wishes she spoke up to one of her bridesmaids.
As always, we finish our episode with 3 healing breaths for letting go.
Thank you for listening!
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