Been There Got Out Podcast: Recent Episodes
Chris & Lisa
Chris and Lisa of BeenThereGotOut.com both survived toxic marriages with narcissistic partners and the legal and co-parenting nightmares that go hand-in-hand with all of that.If you are struggling in a high conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.Our podcast features interviews with lawyers, therapists, co-parenting coordinators, guardians ad litem, and other subject matter experts, as well as other content, all with one goal in mind:Let us teach you how to HELP YOURSELF!
She spent five years on the inside of the family court system as a Connecticut Family Relations Counselor — the person who meets with both parents, talks to the kids, and writes the recommendation the judge leans on. In this candid conversation, Sue Gabriele explains the quiet, well-intentioned mistakes that sink good parents before they ever reach a courtroom, and what to do instead.
If you have ever walked in armed with a binder of everything your ex has ever done wrong, this episode will change how you prepare. Sue shares why "suitcases full of papers" backfire, why a clean, color-coded timeline beats a stack of journals, and how to give a busy professional the facts they can actually use in the limited time they have with you.
She also pulls back the curtain on something most parents never hear said out loud: the system is built to push the "weaker link" into giving up, because a settlement means no one has to write the long report. Knowing that going in changes everything about how you hold your ground.
Whether you are still deciding to leave, deep in a custody dispute, or trying to co-parent with someone impossible, Sue's insider perspective helps you stop fighting the battles that don't matter and start building the case that does. As we say at Been There Got Out, courts often don't care about the abuse you suffered the way you wish they would — they care about the present, the child, and the proof. This conversation shows you how to meet them there without losing yourself.
A quick, important caveat: Sue's experience is grounded in Connecticut, and family law varies widely by state. Treat her insights as a lens for understanding how court professionals think, not as legal advice for your specific case.
ABOUT BEEN THERE GOT OUT
Lisa Johnson and Chris Barry are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists who help good people navigate the family court system and protect their relationships with their children. We fill the gap between what attorneys are trained to do and what therapists understand.
Get our books, "Been There Got Out" and "When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You," and learn about our courses and 1:1 coaching at BeenThereGotOut.com.
HighConflictDivorce #CustodyBattle #FamilyCourt #CoParenting #CustodyEvaluation #NarcissisticAbuse #ParentalAlienation #DivorceAdvice #BeenThereGotOut
Most people believe that once the divorce is final, the chaos finally ends. With a high-conflict, narcissistic, or unpredictable co-parent, the opposite is often true. As they lose day-to-day control, they learn to control you from afar—through the kids, the money, and the legal system. In this honest, practical conversation, UK coach and psychotherapist Louize Yafai joins Lisa Johnson to explain why the abuse can ramp up after separation, and exactly what to do about it.
Louize knows this from the inside. After a 16-year marriage, she survived severe financial and post-separation abuse, came close to homelessness twice, and relied on food banks while raising three daughters and litigating on her own. Then she turned her pain into power, trained as a counsellor and psychotherapist, and now helps parents navigate the same storm with their dignity intact.
Together they unpack the “Friday Night Bomb”—the email or filing timed to ruin your weekend—and why peace doesn’t come from your ex changing. It comes from learning to trust yourself to handle whatever arrives. You’ll learn how to stop reacting, when not to respond at all, how to protect your legal fees and your nervous system, and why an impartial guide matters when friends and family keep telling you to “just move on.”
✅ WHAT YOU’LL LEARN
✅ Why a high-conflict ex often gets worse, not better, after the divorce is final
✅ What the “Friday Night Bomb” is—and how to stop it from ruining your time with the kids
✅ How to build a “Teflon suit” and respond from a calm, grounded place
✅ The in-the-moment “buffer” to use the second a hostile message lands
✅ Why you should not respond to every lie—and what judges actually care about
✅ How reactivity quietly drives up your legal fees
✅ Why being “coached” by AI can backfire badly in a high-conflict case
✅ How to know it’s time for support—without waiting until burnout
ABOUT LOUIZE YAFAI
Louize Yafai is a divorce, separation, and co-parenting coach with a degree in counselling and psychotherapy. Drawing on her own experience of financial and post-separation abuse—and years of helping men and women face unpredictable, narcissistic co-parents—she specializes in emotional regulation, boundaries, and the practical strategies that help people move through high-conflict divorce with strength and self-respect. She is a contributing author to the #1 best seller “Emotional Alchemy” and to a recent anthology curated with Olympic medalist Fatima Whitbread MBE on overcoming adversity.
Everyone walks into family court assuming the “fair” answer is to split the kids right down the middle. Fifty-fifty. Equal time, equal say, problem solved. But what if that instinct toward fairness is quietly setting your children up for years of stress — and setting you up to lose the very argument you should be winning?
In this conversation, Lisa sits down with veteran matrimonial attorney Gus Dimopoulos, who has spent 25 years handling complex, high-conflict divorce and custody cases in Westchester County and New York City. After his article “The Equality Trap” struck a nerve, we asked him to walk us through what he’s really seeing in courtrooms — and why the growing assumption that 50/50 is automatically best can be, in his words, disastrous in practice.
Gus explains something most parents never learn until it’s too late: in New York, there is no legal presumption of shared custody. The law requires a best-interest analysis, and the question of a shared-custody presumption has come before the state legislature for 25 years without ever reaching a vote. Yet judges juggling hundreds of cases are under enormous pressure to settle custody early, and “just split it” starts to feel like the path of least resistance. Understanding that gap — between what the law actually says and what tends to happen in a crowded courtroom — changes how you prepare.
We get into the practical reality nobody talks about: fifty-fifty demands a level of coordination, communication, and mutual respect that high-conflict co-parents simply don’t have. When you add modern kids’ schedules — sports, tutoring, therapy, club teams — an equal-time arrangement can turn every week into a battlefield. Gus also walks through parallel parenting and “spheres of influence” as a more realistic alternative for parents who can’t cooperate: you take this domain, I take that one, and we keep out of each other’s way so the kids aren’t caught in the crossfire. He shares his most important courtroom lesson, too: judges reward the parent who shows up as a calm, prepared problem-solver with a pragmatic list of facts, not the parent who comes in with drama and accusations. If something doesn’t work for your kids, you have to be able to show why — with logistics, work policies, train schedules, and evidence — rather than simply insisting the other parent is awful. We also talk about why putting real specifics into your parenting plan beats vague promises to “be cordial,” and why a child should never have to decide which parent to run to after scoring the game-winning goal.
This one is essential listening whether you’re negotiating a parenting plan, heading into a custody hearing, or trying to understand why the “fair” outcome keeps making your life harder. As always, this isn’t legal advice for your specific case — it’s strategic education to help you walk in better prepared.
👉 Ready for a strategy that fits your situation? Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we’ll help you identify your priorities: https://beentheregotout.com
ABOUT BEEN THERE GOT OUT:
Lisa Johnson and Chris Barry are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists. They help good parents navigate the gap between what attorneys aren’t trained to do and what therapists don’t address — with practical, trauma-informed, actionable guidance for protecting yourself and your kids.
5050Custody #HighConflictDivorce #CustodyBattle #FamilyCourt #CoParenting #ParallelParenting #DivorceAdvice #ChildCustody
If you have already left an abusive relationship and you're now staring down the family court system, this conversation was made for you. Lisa Johnson of Been There Got Out sits down with Liz Ortenberger, CEO of SafeNest, the largest domestic and sexual violence nonprofit in Las Vegas, Nevada, for a frank discussion about what actually works once you're in front of a judge.
Here's the hard truth Liz names out loud: the court will never understand your abuser the way you do. Judges are busy, they're drawn to whoever tells the cleanest, most linear story, and many of them quietly assume that a mother fighting for custody may be exaggerating the abuse to gain an advantage. That isn't fair - but it is the room you're walking into, and pretending otherwise helps no one.
So what do you do with that? Liz lays out a survivor's playbook that lines up almost perfectly with what we coach every day. Get it into the record that your children witnessed the abuse, because a child witnessing abuse has the same chemical brain reaction as a child being abused directly. Build your own clear, linear timeline before you ever walk into the courtroom. Think like a chess player rather than a boxer - anticipate your ex's next several moves and head them off, instead of just reacting. And document, document, document: photograph injuries, keep a private journal, tell a trusted friend, and email evidence to yourself so it carries a date stamp the other side can't explain away.
She also shares a statistic that every survivor deserves to know: if you were strangled or choked during the relationship, your risk of a later lethal outcome rises dramatically - and that is something you can get documented medically and entered into the court record. Throughout, Liz zooms out to the bigger picture too: the history of the movement, why our systems haven't moved the numbers in 30 years, and what it would take to actually protect the next generation. Practical, honest, and genuinely useful whether you're just starting your case or years deep into it.
A SURVIVOR'S COURT PLAYBOOK
- How to get a child's exposure to abuse onto the official record - and why it counts
- Building the clean, linear timeline judges actually respond to
- Anticipating your ex's legal moves like a chess player instead of reacting like a boxer
- The custody bias many survivors run into - and how to get ahead of it
- A simple, free way to date-stamp your evidence so it can't be dismissed as fabricated
- The strangulation statistic that belongs in your medical records and your court file
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
SafeNest (Las Vegas): https://www.safenest.org
Reach Liz's team: info@safenest.org
Look up your ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) score - and take it for your child, too
If you are in immediate danger, contact your local emergency services. In the U.S., the National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE).
This conversation is for education and support; it is not legal or mental-health advice. When you're ready, we're here to help you build a strategy that fits your situation.
DomesticViolence #FamilyCourt #CustodyBattle #CoParenting #NarcissisticAbuse #CoerciveControl #DVAwareness #SurvivorSupport
New Jersey judges are now hearing from children directly in custody matters, and parents whose exes have spent years working on those children are alarmed. Nilaja Ford's counter is that the children were already in the middle of it. The revision changes who gets to hear them.
Nilaja Ford co-founded Ford Brown Law with her partner Donnett Brown. Both were prosecutors for the state of New Jersey, and both specialize in domestic violence alongside family law. Nilaja handled domestic violence contempt matters on the prosecution side before moving into an exclusively matrimonial, custody, and domestic violence practice, and she has been conducting child interviews since before the statute was revised to formalize them. She and her partner also run a free legal-services clinic at a women's resource center in Newark. Everything she describes here is New Jersey practice, though she notes much of it tracks other states moving the same way.
The conversation opens on hearsay, because it is where parents lose ground without understanding why. A letter from a therapist, a teacher, or a supportive friend generally cannot stand on its own at a hearing; the person who wrote it has to be available to be questioned. Nilaja walks through the exceptions she leans on, particularly business records like school attendance, and why expert reports come with the expectation that the expert can be asked how they reached their conclusions.
She then explains what the revision, nicknamed children in charge, actually does. New Jersey's best-interest standard and its 14 factors are unchanged. What is clarified is the mechanism: a recorded interview with the judge, under a protective order rather than something a parent can post, with questions submitted by both sides. Age affects how much weight a child's preference carries, not whether they are heard. And the question she puts on her own list is not who do you want to live with, it is what the ideal arrangement would look like, in specifics, because the specifics are what reveal what is really going on.
Nilaja and Lisa then work through the situations BTGO's clients live in. A parent asking for sole custody, and her first question, which is always why. Reporting abuse, and why the investigating body has to be the state agency rather than you. Cayden's Law, and what these changes are trying to prevent. A teenager who has already aligned with one parent, and Nilaja's uncomfortable point that acts and omissions count, that timing counts, and that a case arriving late arrives with a history already built. She also covers legal decision-making, stonewalling, and the 24-hour clause she has had written into orders so one parent cannot run out the clock on the other.
As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
🎓 What you'll learn
- What hearsay is, and why the letter from your child's therapist may not come in
- Which records do come in, and why school attendance is used so often
- What New Jersey's children-in-charge revision actually changed, and what it did not
- How a child interview is conducted, who submits the questions, and who can hear it
- How age affects the weight of a child's preference rather than their eligibility
- Why "I want sole custody" gets answered with a question, and what she is listening for
- Why the state agency, not you, has to be the one investigating an abuse allegation
- Acts, omissions, and timing: why a case brought late arrives with a history attached
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 Nilaja's background: prosecutor, then family and domestic violence law
3:00 Hearsay, and why the therapist's letter will not come in
7:00 What the children-in-charge revision actually changed
9:00 How a child interview works, and who writes the questions
11:00 Age, weight, and New Jersey's fourteen best-interest factors
17:00 "I want sole custody." Her first question is why
19:00 Reporting abuse: the agency that investigates, and why it cannot be you
25:00 Teenagers who have already been turned against a parent
31:00 Getting to the whys behind what a child says
39:00 Legal decisions, stonewalling, and 24-hour clauses
Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Nilaja Ford at Ford Brown Law: https://www.fordbrownlaw.com/
About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.
Anne P. Mitchell coined the term "co-parenting." Decades before that, she was one of the first two attorneys in the country to argue that children have a right to an ongoing relationship with their father after a separation, work she started before she even went to law school.
Anne is an attorney, law professor, law dean emeritus, and legal journalist. She's the author of They're Your Kids Too, a guide for parents navigating a broken family law system, and she co-developed one of the earliest models of co-parent counseling with therapist Carol Marx. She's still licensed in California and continues to write and advocate through her Substack and her YouTube show, Fathers Are Parents Too.
In this conversation, Anne walks through the pattern she learned to recognize in her own practice: a parent losing control of custody starts escalating, and a false allegation of abuse is often what she calls the "nuclear option." She lays out the concrete steps she told her clients to take before an allegation could land, and the case that pushed her to co-develop co-parent counseling, including the "cut the cake" method for getting a resistant ex to agree to a therapist. She also names what she calls the "silver bullet" strategy, where a parent files a restraining order early specifically to gain a custody advantage, and why she considers it as dangerous today as it was decades ago.
Lisa and Anne also get into what to do when your own lawyer doesn't have experience with alienation or false-allegation cases, and how to push for a second opinion or a new attorney without damaging that relationship.
As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
🎓 What you'll learn
- Where the term "co-parenting" actually came from, and why the framing matters for your case
- The real driver behind most high-conflict acrimony, and how to recognize it escalating
- Early warning signs that a false allegation of abuse may be coming
- Concrete steps to protect yourself before an allegation ever gets filed
- What co-parent counseling is, what it isn't, and why it works when little else does
- The "cut the cake" method for getting a resistant ex to agree to counseling
- Why proving a false allegation can flip custody in some states
- The danger of the "silver bullet" restraining-order strategy being pitched online
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 Intro
4:00 One of the first US attorneys to take up fathers' and children's rights
7:00 The case she could have won, and why she didn't
10:00 From "visitation" to two parents in two homes
13:00 False allegations, and what she told clients to do about them
19:00 Supervised time as a control tactic, and documenting everything
22:00 Restraining orders filed for custody leverage
25:00 What co-parent counseling is, and when courts order it
31:00 Pre-divorce counseling, and building a schedule around the real family
37:00 A case in progress: reunification therapy with teenagers
40:00 Finding a counselor, and how to coach your own attorney
Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.
Two labels get used for very different situations in family court, and mixing them up changes who the judge thinks is to blame. A "high conflict" case is two parents who can't agree on a pediatrician or a summer camp. A family violence case is one parent behaving abusively while the other parent, or the child, reacts to it. Attorney Ashish Joshi says that second parent should never carry blame for the reaction.
Ashish Joshi practices family law and focuses nationally on domestic violence and parental alienation cases. His first book, Litigating Parental Alienation, is one Lisa has recommended for years. His new one, Litigating Family Violence, covers the wider category: coercive control, emotional and financial abuse, immigration used as leverage, international abduction, and the child psychological maltreatment that alienation falls under. He also teaches on these issues at legal and judicial conferences, including for judges in areas with few family law resources.
In this conversation, Ashish and Lisa work through the difference between parental alienation, parent-child contact problems, and alienating behaviors, and why courts sometimes need all three distinctions to get an order right. They talk about what makes a reunification order enforceable: a named therapist, a deadline, and consequences for the parent who is supposed to bring the child to sessions. They cover why letting a rejected teenager decide how often to attend therapy undermines the process, when a judge can find alienation from a parent's own text messages without an expert witness, and what changes once custody has already been reversed but the child is still in constant phone contact with the parent who alienated them.
Ashish also talks about the research on men experiencing coercive control and intimate partner violence, and about vicarious trauma, both for professionals who handle these cases and for the parents living through them.
As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
🎓 What you'll learn
- Why "high conflict" is the wrong label when one parent is abusive and the other is reacting to it
- The difference between parental alienation, parent-child contact problems, and alienating behaviors
- Why no child is ever "too old" for court intervention, as long as they're under the court's jurisdiction
- How to write a reunification order that can't be stalled: a named therapist, a deadline, and real consequences
- Why letting a child set their own therapy schedule undermines the whole process
- When a judge can find alienation without an expert witness, and when you actually need one
- Why safeguards, not just more parenting time, matter once custody has already changed
- The difference between a child's voice and a child's choice, and why courts should never confuse the two
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 What "family violence" means, and why Ashish wrote a broader book
7:00 Why "high conflict" is the wrong label for these cases
11:00 Parental alienation vs. parent-child contact problems vs. alienating behaviors
15:00 When to bring resist-refuse dynamics to court
17:00 Severe cases: custody reversal, and why no child is "too old"
19:00 Writing a reunification order that can't be stalled
25:00 Why letting a rejected teenager set the therapy schedule backfires
31:00 When you need an expert witness, and when a judge doesn't
35:00 After the custody flip: the phone, enmeshment, and safeguarding reunification
39:00 The new book, self-care for the fight, and where to find Ashish
Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Ashish Joshi at Joshi: Attorneys + Counselors: https://www.joshiattorneys.com/
🔗 Ashish Joshi on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashishsjoshi/
🔗 Ashish Joshi's latest book at the American Bar Association: https://www.americanbar.org/products/inv/book/456601936/
About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.
What happens when your ex doesn’t just badmouth you to the kids, but tells them God is on their side? In this episode, Lisa talks with interfaith minister and trauma-informed therapist Sherri Heller about one of the most under-recognized weapons in a high-conflict divorce: faith itself.
When a marriage involving a high-control religious system breaks down, the parent who leaves is rarely treated as someone making a healthy choice. They’re cast as the one who “deviated,” the one who is “morally depraved,” the one the children must be protected from. Sherri explains exactly how this plays out as parental alienation and why family courts so often miss it, pushing for reconciliation “at any cost” while the smear campaign hides in plain sight behind a veneer of virtue.
If you’ve heard your own child repeat phrases that don’t sound like them, like one parent in this episode, whose child said she should be talking to “good Christians, not bad divorced people,” you’ve seen what Sherri calls borrowed scenarios and abuse by proxy: the child used as a vessel to carry the alienating parent’s message. She and Lisa talk through what to actually do in that moment, why opposing the indoctrination head-on backfires, and how to find the “middle ground” and the “way in” instead.
You’ll also hear Sherri’s candid take on a hard truth we teach our own clients: in a system that won’t recognize this abuse, you have to learn to play the game. Stay tactical. Gray rock. Build leverage so you’re not completely cut off from your child, and plant seeds quietly (through nature, literature, science, and critical thinking) that give your kids room to find their own autonomy as they grow, especially in adolescence when the contradictions start to surface.
Sherri and Lisa also talk about where to put your energy instead of into endless arguments. At Been There Got Out we teach our clients to look for the “universal agreements,” the handful of things both parents claim to want, like a child who is healthy, happy, and well cared for. Anchoring your communication there keeps you on the high ground, gives a watching judge a clear contrast between your behavior and your ex’s, and quietly removes the conflict your ex is fishing for. Sherri’s clinical framing of why opposition feeds the narcissist lines up exactly with the strategic communication we coach every day.
There’s also real hope in this episode. Sherri reminds protective parents that the very contradictions an alienating parent creates tend to surface on their own, especially in adolescence, when the pressure of living inside someone else’s story starts to produce its own symptoms. The seeds you plant now, quietly and consistently, are often what your child reaches for later when they begin to question. Your steadiness is the long game.
This is essential viewing if you’re navigating custody where religion, a controlling community, or a “messianic” ex is part of the picture. It pairs directly with our book “When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You” and our work on strategic communication.
About our guest: Sherri Heller is an interfaith minister and trauma-informed therapist specializing in narcissistic abuse and complex trauma recovery, and a survivor herself.
⏱ CHAPTERS / TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Welcome — a topic we rarely cover
00:52 What is spiritual & religious abuse?
02:12 Meet Sherri Heller: minister & trauma-informed therapist
03:40 Common misconceptions (it’s not just isolated sects)
06:02 How love bombing opens the door
08:17 When the community sanctions the abuse
09:44 A survivor robbed of her future
11:23 Rigid rules: controlled marriages & forced isolation
13:31 Narrowing it to the family system
14:17 Red flags: cognitive dissonance & the absence of humility
17:47 Covert vs. overt: ontological gaslighting
18:48 Triangulating with the divine & prosocial camouflage
20:34 Grooming children into martyrs
24:49 Divorce, leaving the faith & parental alienation
25:51 Learning to “play the game” in family court
28:49 Borrowed scenarios & abuse by proxy
29:36 Finding the middle ground with an alienated child
31:34 When (and how) to tell kids a parent is mentally ill
33:32 Getting out: reclaiming yourself
35:27 Gray rocking, planting seeds & the adolescent awakening
37:21 Where to find Sherri Heller
37:53 Closing thoughts
WHO WE ARE: Been There Got Out helps protective parents survive high-conflict divorce, custody battles, and parental alienation. Lisa Johnson and Chris Barry teach the strategy that attorneys often don’t — how to communicate, document, and present your case while protecting your relationship with your kids. We’ve been there. We got out. We’ll help you do the same.
→ Struggling with alienation right now? Book a free 30-minute discovery call: https://btgo.as.me/?appointmentType=24686877
→ Get the book “When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You”: https://www.amazon.com/Been-There-Got-Out-Against/dp/1967674183/
Find Sherri Heller: https://sheritherapist.com/index.html
ParentalAlienation #ReligiousAbuse #HighConflictDivorce #CustodyBattle #NarcissisticAbuse #CoerciveControl #ProtectiveParent #CoParenting #BeenThereGotOut
If you've been living in a high-conflict divorce or custody battle, you probably know that feeling all too well — the exhaustion that never quite leaves, the hypervigilance, the sense that your nervous system has forgotten how to relax. And for many people in these situations, a glass of wine at the end of the day has quietly become two, or three, or something stronger. Not because of weakness. Because of science.
In this episode, Lisa sits down with Dr. Christal Badour, a licensed clinical psychologist and professor at the University of Kentucky, where she runs a research lab focused on trauma recovery and the intersection of PTSD and substance use disorders. Dr. Badour's work is dedicated to understanding why trauma and substance use co-occur so frequently — and more importantly, how to help people break that cycle.
What you'll learn in this conversation will likely change the way you see yourself.
📌 WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE
Dr. Badour opens by challenging one of the most persistent misconceptions in our space — the idea that trauma means a single catastrophic event. For people experiencing legal abuse, coercive control, and ongoing post-separation conflict, the damage often looks different: a chronic, lower-level activation of the stress response that erodes you over time. It's not a capital-T Trauma, but it creates many of the same consequences.
From there, Lisa and Dr. Badour explore the self-medication hypothesis — the well-researched mechanism by which people dealing with painful experiences reach for substances to quiet their nervous systems. If you've ever needed something to take the edge off just to get through the day, this conversation is for you. Dr. Badour explains this not as a character flaw, but as a neurological response to overwhelming stress.
The conversation takes a hopeful turn when Dr. Badour explains that you don't have to wait until the legal process is over to begin healing. Emerging research — much of it developed in military settings — shows that trauma treatment can actually begin even while the threat is still present. This is enormously important for BTGO listeners who are still in the middle of custody battles, still receiving hostile texts, still dreading the next court date.
You'll also hear a moving story about one of Dr. Badour's clients — a woman who hadn't worn shorts in years because of the shame she carried from a sexual assault. The moment she walked into a therapy session in shorts? A powerful reminder of what real recovery looks like.
🕐 TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Introduction — The Connection Between Trauma and Substance Use
01:45 Meet Dr. Christal Badour — Psychologist, Researcher, University of Kentucky
03:20 What Mental Health Professionals Mean by "Trauma" vs. What We Mean Everyday
06:10 Chronic Stress vs. Single-Incident Trauma — Why Ongoing Abuse Creates the Same Damage
09:30 Legal Abuse and the Nervous System — When the Threat Never Ends
12:00 Can You Start Healing Before You're Safe? What the Research Now Shows
15:40 The Self-Medication Hypothesis — Why Substances "Work" in the Short Term
20:15 Why Avoidance Feels Like Relief but Blocks Long-Term Recovery
23:30 How Substance Use Interferes With the Brain's Natural Processing of Trauma
27:00 Evidence-Based Treatment Approaches: Skills-Based vs. Trauma-Focused Therapy
31:50 EMDR, Written Exposure, and Approaches That Don't Require Talking About It
35:20 Animal-Assisted Therapy, Equine Therapy, and Complementary Approaches
38:40 Why Joy and Connection Are Also Part of Healing (Not Just Symptom Reduction)
41:10 AA, NA, Harm Reduction, and Choosing the Right Door for Where You Are
44:30 How to Support a Loved One Who Is Struggling
48:00 Success Stories — When the Shame Finally Lifts
51:00 Where to Find Dr. Badour | scienceforsurvivors.com
You know that feeling. Your phone buzzes. You see their name. And before you can even read the message, your heart is racing, your chest tightens, and you can barely think straight.
You're not overreacting. You're not weak. Your brain has been literally wired by trauma to respond to that notification as if your life is in danger — because for a long time, it was.
In this episode, Lisa sits down with Max Weigand, a positive psychologist from Germany and the creator of Psychosomatic Intelligence — a method that brings together the science of the mind, subconscious beliefs, and nervous system mastery to help people who are stuck in chronic fight-or-flight finally break free.
If you're navigating high-conflict divorce, shared custody with a narcissistic ex, or family court proceedings, what Max shares in this conversation isn't just inspiring — it's immediately practical. Because the same nervous system that's been hijacked by years of abuse is the one you're being asked to perform with in court, in mediation, and in every co-parenting communication you send.
Here's what makes this conversation so powerful for where you are right now:
✅ Why negative emotions literally shut down your prefrontal cortex — the part of your brain responsible for logic, reasoning, and staying calm on the witness stand
✅ The reason your brain can't tell the difference between a real threat and a text message from your ex — and why that's not a flaw, it's a survival feature you can learn to override
✅ What Max calls your 'emotional home' — the default emotional state you keep returning to — and how to identify whether yours is working for you or against you
✅ The 'reality filter' concept and why people stuck in victimhood aren't being dramatic — their brains are literally filtering out evidence of anything good
✅ Simple, free morning practices (journaling, gratitude, visualization, mindful tea) that Max says can rewire the brain's neural pathways — especially if used during the critical theta window right after waking
✅ The famous 'golden crocodile' demonstration that shows, in real-time, why trying NOT to think about something backfires every time — and what to do instead
✅ Max's take on forgiveness — not as something you do for your ex, but as the practice of learning to stop swallowing the poison
Lisa makes a point in this conversation that will resonate with so many of you: the moment you hear a ding from your phone that might be a message from your abusive ex is the perfect example of the brain treating an imagined threat as a physical danger. Years after separation, the neurology of abuse is still running in the background. Max explains not just why that happens, but what to actually do about it.
This is one of those conversations that feels equally useful whether you're deep in the legal battle right now or years out and still feeling the weight of it. The tools work at any stage — and they work faster if you're starting from a harder place.
⏱ TIMESTAMPS
00:00 — Introduction: Max's core philosophy — the further down you are, the more potential you have
02:09 — Why mastering the nervous system matters more than just changing your mindset
04:41 — Max introduces himself and Psychosomatic Intelligence
05:43 — How emotional dysregulation destroys decision-making — the prefrontal cortex goes offline
09:33 — Why your brain can't tell the difference between a real threat and a vivid memory or imagination
10:33 — The 'notification ding' effect: your body's panic response to a text from your ex
12:00 — Neural pathways: why the fear response gets stronger every time you repeat the pattern
12:27 — What is Psychosomatic Intelligence? The three-system alignment model
13:58 — Step 1: Awareness — identifying your 'emotional home'
16:33 — The mind-body feedback loop: how physical tension amplifies emotional states
17:01 — Projecting your body state onto other people — why a bad night's sleep creates conflict
17:25 — 'Living in victimhood': how the brain's reality filter traps you in suffering
19:14 — The reticular activating system: your brain's filter and how to reset it
20:33 — Practical tool: the 'what's going right' morning question
21:10 — Lisa's recommendation: 10 minutes of fun every day to balance stress hormones
21:20 — Abraham Lincoln and the sharp axe: why you can't afford NOT to pause
23:05 — Lisa shares her morning journaling practice and how it changed her days
24:00 — The theta window: why morning and evening are the most powerful times to rewire your brain
25:33 — The neuroplasticity moment: why it doesn't matter if you journal, visualize, or just drink tea
26:40 — The 'golden crocodile' live demonstration: why 'don't think about it' never works
27:38 — The pink fluffy unicorn: replace, don't resist — the neuroscience of positive focus
29:01 — Forgiveness: not about the other person — about choosing not to swallow the poison
29:25 — Lisa on 'apathy as freedom' and the goal of emotional peace
29:44 — Nikos Kazantzakis quote: 'I want nothing. I fear nothing. I am free.'
30:13 — Wrap-up and how to find Max
Two parents cannot sit across a table without it turning into a fight, so the mediation moves onto Zoom. Each one waits in a separate breakout room while the attorneys shuttle between them, trading a religious holiday here for an extra week of summer there, until an agreement takes shape without the two of them ever having to look at each other.
Ian Steinberg practices matrimonial and family law in New York City, where his firm handles divorce across the city, Westchester, and Long Island. He is also a friend of Chris and Lisa's, returning for a second conversation. His first career was in real estate litigation, which taught him how a courtroom actually behaves; he later trained in mediation and collaborative law, convinced there was a less destructive path through a divorce. He traces his feel for conflict resolution back further than that, to refereeing adult-league hockey as a teenager, holding the whistle as the youngest person on the ice.
Ian lays out how mediation works when one side holds far more of the power. In its classic form, two parties meet with a single neutral mediator and each consults a private attorney between sessions, so no decision binds anyone until it is written down and signed. He explains why a retired judge sitting as mediator can rein in a parent who is used to getting their way, and how separate rooms, in person or over video, keep a frightened party from having to negotiate across from someone who frightens them. He also makes the case for what mediation saves: money that would otherwise go to motion practice, and the momentum that comes from shrinking ten open issues down to two.
For anyone walking into a first session scared, Ian offers a plan: prepare with your lawyer and your divorce coach, name the triggers you already know your ex will use, and write down every ask in advance. Above all, you are never required to say yes in the room, and a good lawyer will not corner you into it. He is equally clear about the cases where the power imbalance is too great or the conflict too raw, and mediation should not go forward at all.
As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
🎓 What you'll learn
- Why mediation can still work in a domestic violence case, but only with firm guardrails in place
- The difference between classic mediation and attorney-guided mediation, and when each one fits
- How a retired judge serving as mediator can shift a lopsided power dynamic
- What a consulting attorney does, and why nothing is binding until it is on paper
- How separate rooms and Zoom breakout rooms keep a frightened party from facing their ex
- How to prepare: your written asks, your known triggers, and the professionals around you
- Why you never have to agree on the spot, even when your own lawyer is pushing to close
- The signs that mediation should stop, or was never the right fit for your case
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 Welcoming Ian back, and what litigation costs you
3:00 Learning conflict resolution as a teenage hockey referee
5:00 When family court does not protect the target
7:00 Two kinds of mediation, and the consulting attorney outside the room
11:00 Retired judges as mediators, and shifting a power imbalance
13:00 Lisa's own mediation, and the momentum of small agreements
17:00 Zoom breakout rooms and four-way conferences for safety
21:00 Preparing a scared client: asks, triggers, and support
25:00 Not getting pressured to settle, and informed consent
27:00 When mediation should stop or was never the right fit
Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Ian Steinberg at Berkman Bottger Newman & Schein: https://www.berkbot.com/attorneys/ian-steinberg/
About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.
If you've ever found yourself paralyzed by the fear that your ex is slowly turning your children against you and there's nothing you can do about it, this conversation is for you.
In this episode of Been There Got Out, Lisa Johnson sits down with Dr. Alicia del Prado, a licensed counseling psychologist based in the San Francisco Bay Area, to talk about one of the most painful experiences a parent can go through: parental alienation. But rather than focusing only on what's happening, Dr. del Prado brings her clinical expertise to what you can actually do — specific, grounded strategies to prevent alienation from taking hold, minimize its impact when it has already started, and stay psychologically intact through all of it.
One of the most important things she says: fear is a filter. When we're operating from that deep, primal terror of losing our kids, we make decisions that can actually make things worse — not because we're bad parents, but because our nervous system is in survival mode. Understanding that is the first step toward changing it.
WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE:
✅ What parental alienation actually is — and why it affects an estimated 22 million divorced and separated parents in the US and Canada alone
✅ Why feeling hopeless about parental alienation is understandable — and what to focus on instead
✅ How fear acts as a "filter" that distorts your decisions and what to do about it without suppressing your emotions
✅ The most common misconceptions people have about alienation — both from inside the situation and from the outside
✅ How to support a friend or family member going through parental alienation without saying the wrong thing
✅ How to use your child's love language to stay connected even when they're pushing you away
✅ What to do when your child screams at you, ignores you, or says they hate you
✅ The micro goals framework: how to keep showing up consistently even when you see no results
✅ Why children in these situations usually do come back — and what gives them the courage to
TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 — Introduction: Why we're revisiting this conversation (audio issues from previous recording)
01:10 — What parental alienation actually is: a definition from a clinical psychologist
02:30 — The 22 million statistic: how widespread parental alienation really is
03:15 — Dr. del Prado's personal background and why this topic is close to her heart
04:30 — "I feel like it's destined" — addressing the hopelessness alienated parents feel
06:00 — Fear is a filter: how trauma responses hijack parenting decisions in high-conflict situations
08:15 — Misconceptions about parental alienation from the inside: why catastrophizing makes it worse
10:00 — Misconceptions from the outside: what friends and family get wrong and how to ask for support
12:30 — The Constructive Conversations model (with Dr. Anastasia Kim) for difficult dialogue
14:15 — Using love languages with alienated children: quality time, words of affirmation, gift giving, touch
17:00 — When your child doesn't respond to your love language efforts: the power of repetition
18:30 — Reliability and consistency: why attachment is built over time, not in a single reunion
20:00 — When children are openly hostile: what to do in the moment when your child screams at you
22:45 — Self-regulation tools for targeted parents (including Marsha Linehan's distress tolerance skills)
24:30 — Setting limits with your child during a hostile encounter without escalating
26:00 — Micro goals: why big reunion fantasies set you up to fail — and what works instead
28:30 — Making micro goals about your behavior, not your child's response
30:15 — Do alienated children come back? What the statistics actually show
31:30 — How to find Dr. del Prado and her practice
ABOUT DR. ALICIA DEL PRADO:
Dr. Alicia del Prado is a licensed counseling psychologist and the founder of a group practice in the San Francisco Bay Area. Her clinical work spans children, adults, families, and couples navigating relationship challenges, depression, anxiety, and trauma. Dr. del Prado brings both professional expertise and personal perspective to the topic of parental alienation — as a child of divorced parents herself, she understands both the systemic challenges families face and the emotional complexity children carry through these transitions. She is co-developer (with Dr. Anastasia Kim) of the Constructive Conversations model, a step-by-step approach to having difficult but necessary dialogues with people we care about.
CONNECT WITH DR. DEL PRADO on Instagram: @DoctorDelPrado & @DelPradoCounseling
If you've been ordered into parenting coordination, or you're wondering whether a parenting coordinator could help your high-conflict custody case, this conversation is for you.
Lisa sits down with Nicole Sodoma, a family law attorney with 26 years of experience, founding partner of Sodoma Law (seven locations across the Carolinas), and a practicing parenting coordinator since 2005. What makes Nicole's perspective uniquely powerful is that she's not just an expert — she's a targeted parent who has personally worked with three different parenting coordinators since her own separation in 2019. She knows this process from every angle.
Together, they break down what a parenting coordinator actually does, who gets one (and why), what the most common and costly mistakes parents make are, and the practical communication and documentation strategies that can help you stop making them — starting today.
Whether your parenting coordinator seems to be favoring your ex, you're confused about what decisions they can and can't make, or you're just trying to understand how to use this process strategically, Nicole gives you a clear, honest roadmap.
🕐 TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Introduction — Who is Nicole Sodoma?
01:20 What is a parenting coordinator, and how does it connect to reducing conflict outside of court?
03:45 What qualifies as a "high conflict case" — the legal definition from North Carolina statute
06:10 Can a parenting coordinator tell right away who is high conflict?
08:30 Lawyer PC vs. mental health professional PC — which one should you choose?
11:00 Do parenting coordinators ever talk to your kids or observe exchanges?
13:20 Parenting coordinator vs. guardian ad litem vs. custody evaluator — what's the difference?
16:00 Nicole's personal story: three parenting coordinators after her 2019 separation
21:15 What happens when one party just won't cooperate with the PC process
24:30 Guardrails and impasse clauses — why your parenting plan needs them even without a PC
28:00 Legal decision-making areas: education, medical, extracurricular, religion — and now technology
31:00 Mistakes parents make — the full laundry list from Nicole
31:30 Mistake #1: Over-communicating with your toxic ex (and how to stop)
34:00 Bill Eddy's BIFF method and understanding high-conflict personalities
36:15 BTGO's Strategic Communication course — why communication is everything
38:00 Mistake #2: Reacting emotionally instead of strategically — the "knee jerk response"
40:30 Mistake #3: Choosing to win over choosing resolution
43:00 Mistake #4: Failing to recognize the real impact on your children
46:00 The 7-38-55 rule: why what you say matters less than how you say it
49:15 Mistake #5: Social media — why that post never feels as good as you think it will
52:30 Mistake #6: Not documenting patterns (and how to do it right)
55:45 BTGO's approach to targeted documentation — the "Super Bowl commercial" concept
58:00 Recording exchanges — when it helps and when it can backfire
01:01:00 Nicole's top 3 practical tips: shared children's email, school communication, blended family planning
01:06:00 Technology in parenting plans — social media rules, Apple accounts, and age parameters
01:09:00 How to find Nicole Sodoma + her book "Please Don't Say You're Sorry"
01:11:00 Closing thoughts and takeaways
If this conversation helped you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs it. You are not alone in this.
ParentingCoordinator #HighConflictDivorce #CustodyBattle #CoParenting #FamilyLaw #NicoleSodoma #ParentingPlan #StrategicCommunication #ParentalAlienation #BeenThereGotOut
What does a Guardian Ad Litem really think when a 10-year-old says they want 50/50 custody?
Crystal Wright has heard it hundreds of times — and she can tell instantly when a child has been coached. As a family law attorney AND a working GAL in Atlanta, Georgia, Crystal is one of the rare practitioners who has seen the custody system from every angle: as the attorney fighting for clients, as the neutral investigator protecting children, and as the professional who has had exactly one parent incarcerated for defying her court orders.
In this conversation, Crystal joins Lisa Johnson to unpack one of the most contentious questions in family law: when should a child's voice be allowed to decide their custody arrangement — and when should it be completely disregarded?
The answer, Crystal says, has nothing to do with how articulate or advanced your child is. It has everything to do with whether the language they're using sounds like an actual child — or like someone's lawyer.
What You'll Learn in This Episode:
✅ How GALs instantly detect when a child has been coached — and what specific language is a dead giveaway
✅ Why "I want 50/50 custody" coming from a 10-year-old should raise immediate red flags
✅ What the 'borrowed scenarios' phenomenon looks like in a real investigation
✅ How Crystal visits kids at their schools — without telling the parents — and why she always gets new information
✅ The real impact on children when they're put in the middle: clinical depression, self-harm, 17-year-olds calling their GAL crying at 10pm
✅ At what ages (11 and 14 in Georgia) a child's preference becomes legally relevant — and why that still doesn't mean they get to choose
✅ The non-negotiable case for reunification therapy — and what Crystal does to parents who try to block it
✅ How to find a qualified GAL and what to look for in a mental health expert for an older, refusing child
✅ What to do when your child won't see you: Crystal's direct advice to rejected parents
⏱️ Timestamps:
00:00 — Introduction: How Lisa and Crystal met at the Bridging the Gap conference in London
01:45 — How a GAL tells the difference: coached child vs. genuine preference
04:30 — Crystal's background: family law attorney, boutique firm in Atlanta, and why she loves GAL work
06:00 — Advanced children vs. coached children: why intelligence isn't the issue
08:15 — "I want 50/50" — why that phrase signals coaching immediately
10:00 — Age and preference in Georgia: the affidavit of election at 11, determinative weight at 14
13:30 — Why Crystal stopped having children sign affidavits of election
15:45 — The 17-year-old: even at near-adulthood, best interest analysis still controls
18:00 — Reaction to New Jersey's ruling: what does it mean for children's long-term wellbeing?
21:00 — Why Crystal visits children at their schools — without telling parents — and what she learns
23:30 — Children and truth-telling: parroting, fawning, and protecting a parent
26:00 — Loyalty conflicts: the real emotional impact on children stuck in the middle
29:00 — Clinical depression, self-harm, and older kids calling Crystal crying at 10pm
32:00 — Older children refusing contact: how to make the case for intervention to the court
35:00 — Reunification therapy: Crystal has never been denied an order for it — and here's why
38:30 — What happens to parents who block reunification therapy: contempt motions and incarceration
41:00 — What kind of expert witness to bring in for an older refusing child
43:30 — False allegations and fake documents: how they're handled in investigation
46:00 — How to find a good GAL and what qualifications actually matter
48:30 — How to prepare your child for a GAL interview (and what NOT to say)
51:00 — Advice for rejected parents: don't give up, keep reaching out, send birthday gifts
54:00 — Memory, photographs, and why fighting for a child who doesn't want you right now still matters
56:30 — How to find Crystal Wright and closing remarks
💬 Connect with Crystal Wright:
Instagram: @crystalwrightlawga
Website: https://crystalwrightlaw.com/
Jon went four years without speaking to any of his four children. This episode is a follow-up: two weeks before recording, one of his daughters texted him for the first time since telling him, in her twenties, that she never wanted to see him again.
Jon, the advocate behind the Male Victims of Female Narcissists community, coaches men who are dealing with an emotionally abusive ex and parental alienation, work that grew out of his own long marriage and divorce. He describes his ex as someone who worked her way between him and his kids, and between him and his extended family, gradually rather than all at once.
In this conversation, Jon and Lisa go through the two forms of alienation he sees most often: one that plays out through the court system with younger children, and a slower version with older kids, where the distance starts to feel like the child's own choice. He talks about why he now thinks he divorced too late, what he said when his daughter finally reached back out after four years of silence, and the story from the Bible's prodigal son that shaped how he waited for her.
Jon also shares what he tells the men he coaches: why chasing an adult child who has cut contact usually backfires, why he still doesn't discuss the marriage's problems with his kids, and why everyone he has talked to about this points to the same pattern: the parent who stays consistent tends to be the one a child eventually comes back to.
As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
🎓 What you'll learn
- The two different kinds of parental alienation: one enforced through the court system, one that develops slowly with older kids
- Why Jon now believes divorcing earlier might have given his kids a stable home sooner
- What he actually said, and didn't say, when his estranged daughter reached back out after four years
- Why chasing an adult child who has cut contact rarely works
- Why he doesn't discuss the marriage's problems with his kids, even years later
- The prodigal-son framework that shaped how he waited for his daughter to reach out
- Why acknowledging the hurt on both sides mattered as much as the apology itself
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 Two kinds of parental alienation
5:00 Why he waited to divorce, and what he'd do differently
11:00 The text that said "see you never"
13:00 The prodigal son framework: waiting without chasing
19:00 The actual reconciliation call, and not pulling punches
25:00 Advice for parents whose kids are still young
29:00 Taking the high road, and where his other three kids stand
35:00 Coaching men through this, and where to find Jon
Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Male Victim Jon on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/malevictimsoffemalenarcissists/
About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.
Lynn Price once walked away from a negotiation and left real money on the table on purpose. After twenty-five years and more than eleven thousand negotiations as a corporate attorney, she did it because the conflict was making her sick and she valued peace more, and she calls that a strategic decision, not a defeat.
Lynn Price is a negotiation speaker, trainer, and author, and an attorney who spent over two decades as in-house corporate counsel. Across roughly eleven thousand negotiations she started noticing patterns and turned them into a simple, memorable formula she calls the three Rs. Her book, Negotiate It!, breaks the whole skill down.
In this episode, Lynn and Lisa adapt that formula for a toxic ex you feel powerless against. They work through being Ready, Relatable, and Reasonable, and Lynn's system of sorting every want into three buckets: your have-to-haves, your helpful-haves, and your hopeful-haves, the ones you can trade away. She explains why you make the ask even when the other side holds the leverage, why you make it and then stop talking, and a line she learned early: if it feels good to say it, don't.
They trade the moves Been There Got Out teaches too, anchoring to a shared goal, never asking or answering why, and never letting your ex see how much you want something. Lynn is practical about how to build the skill: practicing out loud in front of a mirror or a camera so your words and your face do not give you away, and even rehearsing with AI. Her core message is that negotiation is learnable, not a personality trait, and preparation is what turns fear into confidence.
As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
🎓 What you'll learn
- The three Rs of negotiation: being Ready, Relatable, and Reasonable
- How to sort every want into have-to-haves, helpful-haves, and hopeful-haves
- Why you make the ask even when the other person holds the leverage
- Why you should make your ask and then stop talking
- The rule "if it feels good to say it, don't," and how to use a pause
- Why you never ask or answer "why" with a difficult ex
- How to prepare by practicing out loud, recording yourself, even rehearsing with AI
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 Negotiation vs. mediation, and Lynn's 11,000 deals
3:00 The three Rs, and confidence from small wins
5:00 Leverage is perception: you still get to make the ask
9:00 Prioritizing your ask: the three buckets
13:00 Being relatable, and anchoring to common ground
15:00 Make the ask, then go silent
17:00 "If it feels good to say it, don't"
19:00 Being reasonable, and never asking or answering "why"
27:00 The price of peace, and cost-benefit
29:00 Preparing: practice out loud, record yourself, even AI
Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Lynn Price at Lynn Price Consulting: https://lynnpriceconsulting.com/
🔗 Negotiate It! by Lynn Price (Amazon): https://www.amazon.com/Negotiate-Develop-Negotiation-Muscle-Workplace/dp/0692152539
About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.
What does a family court judge actually think when you walk through those courtroom doors?
If you have ever walked out of a hearing asking "why did the judge do THAT?" — this conversation is for you.
Peggy Walsh spent 18 years as a family court judge — after first building her career representing parents, caregivers, and children as a family law attorney. Then she took off her robe. Not because she stopped caring, but because she believed that the people who love a child should be the ones making decisions for that child — not a stranger, however well-intentioned, in a black robe.
Today, Peggy works as a co-parenting coach, helping parents stay out of court altogether — or, when court is unavoidable, understand exactly what to expect and how to show up effectively.
In this conversation, Lisa and Peggy go deep on what family court actually looks like from the inside — and what most attorneys never tell their clients before they walk into that hearing.
WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS INTERVIEW:
✅ Why judges assume BOTH parents are high conflict — and how that shapes everything they observe
✅ What judges really notice about demeanor (and why the person blurting things out in court isn't necessarily the problem outside of court)
✅ The one question you should always ask your attorney before your first court appearance — and why most attorneys forget to answer it
✅ What "forced resolution" vs. "compromised resolution" actually means — and why Peggy always preferred to help parents reach their own agreements
✅ The specific things only you know about your family that no judge ever could — and why that makes negotiated parenting plans almost always better
✅ What status conferences are, why Peggy loved using them, and how they can reduce conflict over time
✅ Why appearing to "want it all your way" in front of a judge rarely ends well — and what to do instead
✅ How to think about co-parenting communication as modeling behavior for your children — not just logistics management
✅ Why your child hears your tone of voice even when they are upstairs and cannot hear your words
✅ What it looks like to stop making your ex the "star of your show" — and why that shift changes everything
THIS INTERVIEW IS ESSENTIAL IF YOU:
- Are going to court and do not know what to expect
- Are frustrated by a custody decision you do not understand
- Are trying to build a parenting plan and wondering whether to negotiate or let the judge decide
- Keep getting pulled back to court by a high-conflict co-parent
- Want to understand what judges actually value — not what TV court dramas portray
- Are ready to shift from reactive victim to proactive problem-solver in your case
ABOUT PEGGY WALSH:
Peggy Walsh is a retired family court judge who served for 18 years, primarily handling divorce and family law matters. Prior to her time on the bench, she represented parents, caregivers, and children as a family law attorney. She is now a co-parenting coach, helping parents navigate high-conflict situations, create workable parenting plans, and stay out of court whenever possible.
Connect with Peggy Walsh: https://peggywalsh.com/
🔁 Dr. Premela Deck is back — and this time, she's going deeper.
If you're navigating reunification therapy, supervised visitation, or simply trying to understand why court-ordered therapy isn't fixing anything, this is the conversation you've been waiting for.
Dr. Premela Deck holds a rare trifecta of credentials: she's a family law attorney, a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker (LICSW), and a PhD-level social worker who has spent her career studying high-conflict families. Her practice, ST Family Services in Massachusetts, brings together psychologists, social workers, attorneys, and even a retired judge under one roof.
In this episode, Lisa and Premela do something a little different: they brainstorm the questions that most parents in our community are too scared — or too confused — to ask. And what comes out of that conversation is some of the most practical, grounding guidance we've ever put on this channel.
⏱ TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Introduction — Dr. Premela Deck Returns
00:55 Real client case: the supervised visit that fell apart before it started
04:10 Why court orders and clinical interventions are often in conflict
06:30 The prep work that HAS to happen before any supervised visit
09:00 What you should ACTUALLY tell your child about supervised visitation
11:20 How removing the loyalty bind can unlock the relationship
13:10 Dr. Premela Deck introduces herself and ST Family Services
15:30 The collaborative model: why siloed professionals fail families
17:45 What should a child be told about supervised visits? (Full question)
20:00 How to handle transitions when a child is crying or dysregulated
22:15 "I can't force her — she's traumatized": how to respond to this message
25:10 How parenting plans (and their vagueness) impact reunification
27:30 The silver bullet strategy — and why it blows up cases
30:20 Your attorney is your employee: taking strategic oversight of your case
32:00 Coercive co-parenting: "my ex is abusive — what do I do?"
34:15 What to prepare before meeting a reunification therapist for the first time
36:40 When a child is a teenager: what force is (and isn't) in this work
38:50 Making a good impression on therapists and court professionals
40:30 Who should pay for therapy when "you're the problem"?
42:10 Will a charismatic, narcissistic ex fool the therapist?
44:20 What is a parentectomy?
46:00 "Breadcrumbs": how to keep the door open when you need to step back
48:30 Parental rights vs. children's best interest — when they collide
50:00 Looking ahead: webinars, court order strategy, and what's coming next
ParentalAlienation #ReunificationTherapy #HighConflictDivorce #CustodyBattle #FamilyTherapy #SupervisedVisitation #NarcissisticAbuse #CoParenting #FamilyCourt #BeenThereGotOut #DrPremelaDeck
Freeze has no movement in it, and Annie Brook says that is exactly the problem. When you go numb before a hearing there is nothing moving, so there is nothing to feel, so there is no way back to your own awareness. Everything she teaches works by putting movement, breath, weight, or pressure back into a body that has stopped producing any.
Dr. Annie Brook is a body-centered, or somatic, psychologist with a doctorate and decades in practice. She runs The Brook Institute, which trains therapists, publishes online courses, and gives away a substantial free library of articles and tools. Her specialty is what she calls pre- and perinatal work: the impressions laid down before a person could think, including birth and adoption trauma. She is candid that this is her own material as well. She was born premature, spent seventeen days in an incubator without touch, and did not connect her adult perfectionism to a fear of being sent back there until her forties. She has also worked with children in the court system, and says the experience damaged her confidence in it. This is her first appearance on the show.
In this episode, Annie explains how an early template sets the questions a nervous system keeps asking, and what she looks for in an adult: whether you let someone very close very fast, whether you override your own instincts, whether you keep getting blindsided. She and Lisa spend time on shame and self-blame, which Annie treats as a serious drain on personal power, because once you have lost the felt sense of your own potency you make strange decisions and turn your anger inward. She also describes a small girl in her office who taped shut the gap in a folding screen and would not let her in, and what that turned out to be about.
The second half is a toolkit, and Annie walks through each one so a listener can do it while listening. A ball you imagine breathing between your hands, for coming out of a frozen state. Weight and pressure, which she calls proprioception, done invisibly against a desk or a chair. Three sentences worth having ready. A spatial boundary you fill with your own energy rather than leaving collapsed for other people to walk through. Pushing down through your feet before you push outward. She and Lisa talk about high tone, low tone, and the middle you want under pressure, about blending fierceness with compassion without losing either, about interrupting self-attack by twisting a towel under the table on a video hearing, and about why she suggests watching a fish.
As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
🎓 What you'll learn
- Why hopelessness after one of these relationships isn't evidence that you're broken
- What Annie looks for in adults: moving too fast, overriding instincts, getting blindsided
- Why shame and self-blame drain your sense of your own potency
- Proprioception: using weight and pressure in a courtroom without anyone noticing
- Three sentences worth having ready before a hearing
- The spatial boundary you fill instead of leaving collapsed
- Pushing down through your feet before you push outward, and why the order matters
- High tone, low tone, and how to stay in the middle during a hard phone call
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 The "bad picker" belief, and why hopelessness isn't proof you're broken
4:00 Meet Annie Brook, and patterns encoded before you could think
7:00 Attachment, and the template an early experience sets
10:00 Being blindsided, and what shame and self-blame cost you
12:00 What children show in play: the folding screen
15:00 Body awareness, and the spatial game to play with a friend
18:00 The breathing ball, and coming out of freeze
22:00 Four things to do right before court, and the boundary you fill
27:00 High tone, low tone, and staying in the middle
32:00 Fierceness with compassion, and pushing down through your feet
36:00 Self-attack thinking, and twisting a towel under the table
Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Dr. Annie Brook and The Brook Institute: https://anniebrook.com/
About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.
Finding the right therapist for your child during a high-conflict divorce is one of the most important and misunderstood decisions you'll make.
Most parents want immediate results. They want their child to sit down in session one and start processing everything that's been happening at home. But experienced art therapist Ahimsa Luciano has seen this expectation backfire again and again, and she has a more effective approach to share.
In this conversation, Ahimsa breaks down what effective therapy for children in high-conflict situations actually looks like, why it takes longer than parents expect, and why that's not a bad thing. She explains how to match your child's personality to a therapeutic style, what to say when the other parent has told your child therapy means something is wrong with them, and exactly why the therapist can't be your source of custody intel, even when you desperately want updates.
WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE:
- Why AI will never replace a human therapist, and what the 7-38-55 communication rule reveals about what's really missing
- What makes an experienced intake truly different and why this first step is the most important one
- How to give a resistant child space to open up, even when their world feels like it's in chaos
- Why it can take months (or longer) before a child talks, and why that's not failure
- How to handle a child who's been told therapy means they're damaged - a trauma-informed response that actually works
- The truth about "parentification" in high-conflict families and its long-term impact on relationships and boundaries
- Why children tell each parent something different and why that doesn't mean anyone is lying
- What 'your child is fine with both parents' in an evaluation actually means, and why it's not the betrayal it feels like
- Why custody exchanges are a major anxiety trigger for children and the specific harm of using kids as tools at handoffs
- Questions to ask when choosing a therapist for your child including how to match personality type to therapeutic style
- Why your child's therapy space must be private and what the therapist will and won't share with you
ABOUT AHIMSA LUCIANO:
Ahimsa Luciano is an art therapist licensed in New York State and the co-founder and co-owner of Pleasantville Wellness Group, a multidisciplinary therapy practice in Pleasantville, NY serving children through adults, couples, and families. She began her career at a domestic violence and sexual assault agency as the children's therapist — an experience that gave her deep roots in working with kids navigating high-conflict separations, divorce, and trauma. Pleasantville Wellness Group offers a broad range of therapeutic modalities including art therapy, play therapy, and individual and group services, and is currently in-network with NYSHIP, United Healthcare, and Oxford for New York State clients. Some therapists in the practice are also licensed in additional states.
https://www.pleasantvillewellnessgroup.com/home
highconflictdivorce #childtherapy #parentalalienation #coparenting #arttherapy #custodybattle #parentification #divorceandkids #traumainformedparenting #beentheregotout #kidsanddivorce #therapyforchildren
Julia Hochstadt has spent years listening to accounts that sound impossible, and she does not treat the implausibility as information. When a child discloses, her instruction to parents is to believe them and to say so explicitly, repeatedly, in those words. Fear of not being believed is one of the reasons people stay silent for decades.
Julia is a licensed clinical social worker practicing in New York and New Jersey, consulting and speaking nationally, and testifying as an expert witness on domestic violence, intimate partner violence, and sexual violence. She works with primary survivors and with secondary survivors, the family members and friends who are also carrying it. Her clinical practice starts around age fifteen, though many of her clients are parents of much younger children, which is where this conversation lives.
A large part of it is about trusting yourself. Julia points out that the parents in this audience have often spent years being told they are not smart, not capable, not a good parent, which is designed to erode exactly the instrument they now need. So when they notice a change in a child's mood, grades, friendships, or preferences, they second guess it. Her advice is to lean in rather than watch and wait, and to use whatever supports exist, including a teacher, a school counselor, or a pediatrician.
Then she gets concrete about safety planning for a child who has to go back because an order says so. She models it on fire safety: built in advance, practiced, and revisited a couple of times a year as the school year, sports seasons, and vacations change, rather than assembled during an emergency. Devices and who a child would call. Which neighbor, and the backup for when that neighbor is away. What to do if a parent is unresponsive or making threats. She wants children brought into the planning at whatever level fits them, because they know their own routine better than the adults do. Julia also responds to a case where the reports went nowhere, a forced reunification arrangement is making a child worse, and the protective parent is being labeled an alienator for objecting. She talks about what the research says about a believing, supporting parent, why staying is sometimes the safety decision rather than a failure, and why not every attorney or clinician is equipped for these dynamics.
As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
🎓 What you'll learn
- What to do in the first minutes after a child discloses, and the words to say out loud
- Why an unbelievable-sounding account is not a reason to doubt a child
- How to trust your instincts after years of being told your judgment is wrong
- Signs worth leaning into: mood, grades, friendships, and changes in preferences
- Safety planning for a child the court still sends back, built like a fire drill
- What a plan covers: devices, which neighbor, times of day, and the backups
- Why bringing your child into the planning produces a better plan
- Why not every attorney or therapist understands these dynamics well enough
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 The one thing not to do when a child discloses
3:00 Believing the unbelievable, and saying "I believe you" out loud
5:00 Julia's background: primary and secondary survivors
7:00 Signs something is wrong, and trusting a gut that has been eroded
11:00 Who to reach out to when you feel you have no support at all
13:00 Safety planning when the order says the child goes back
17:00 What a plan covers, and revisiting it like a fire drill
23:00 When the system fails, and a forced reunification makes things worse
27:00 What a believing parent's support does for a child's trajectory
31:00 What to say to a child you still have to hand over
37:00 Why "just leave" is not the right answer for everyone
Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Julia Hochstadt, LCSW: https://www.therapywithjulia.com/
About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.
James Porfido spent decades on both sides of a criminal courtroom, prosecuting cases and then defending them. What he saw over 35 years became a book about a system he believes has tilted out of balance.
James Porfido has practiced law for more than 35 years, starting as a certified criminal trial attorney in a New Jersey prosecutor's office and later moving to the defense side, where he handled sex crimes and child abuse cases. He is now of counsel at a large New Jersey firm, teaches advocacy and persuasion as an adjunct law professor, and has spent 25 years as a legal analyst commenting on high-profile cases. He is the author of "Unequal Justice: The Search for Truth, the Balance in the Scales."
In this conversation, James and Lisa focus on the theme that torments their audience: a court process that moves so slowly it becomes its own punishment, and an ex who exploits that. He explains New Jersey's lifetime restraining orders and the narrow path to dissolving one, why the "I'll just explain it to the judge" instinct fails, and how a parent can lose all contact with their children while an allegation, sometimes a coached or false one, sits unresolved for a year.
They also get practical. James is candid that these cases are a fight, and that the right attorney is one who knows the courthouse and its people, not only the statutes. He walks through the questions worth asking before you hire, and why "how much do you charge" should not be the first one. And he shares the harder argument from his book: that a restraining order is sometimes granted as a tactic to gain leverage, which pushes back the people with real injuries waiting at the back of the courtroom for the protection they actually need.
As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
🎓 What you'll learn
- What New Jersey's lifetime restraining orders mean, and why they're so hard to dissolve
- Why "just telling the judge you didn't do it" is not how any of this works
- How the delay between a temporary and a final order can itself become a weapon
- What happens to a parent's contact with their kids while an allegation is pending
- How a coached allegation can flip a parent from presumed innocent to presumed guilty
- Why knowing the "players," not just the law, is what you want in an attorney
- The questions to ask before you hire, beyond "how much will this cost?"
- Why genuine abuse cases deserve priority over the ones weaponizing the system
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 What a legal analyst does, and trials as storytelling
5:00 From prosecutor to defense, with a grounding in DV cases
9:00 New Jersey's lifetime restraining orders, and how hard they are to undo
13:00 Why you can't just "tell the judge," and the side-of-the-road trap
15:00 When the delay itself becomes the weapon
17:00 Kids under a restraining order, and a parent becoming a stranger
19:00 False allegations, coached children, and being presumed guilty
21:00 Surviving the limbo, and an attorney who knows the players
25:00 The questions to ask before you hire (not "how much?")
29:00 Unequal Justice: when restraining orders get weaponized
Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 James Porfido at Porfido Law: https://www.porfidolaw.com/
About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.
The limbic system floods the cortex when a child goes into a rage, which is why talking them down does not work. Tosha Schore puts it plainly: you can feel your way out of thinking, but you cannot think your way out of feeling, and in that moment there is nobody home to reason with anyway.
Tosha Schore is back on the show, and this conversation is about children who are not only emotionally aggressive but physically violent. She founded Parenting Boys Peacefully and co-authored Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges with her mentor Patty Wipfler. She has three sons, now grown, and describes the morning that started this work: reading the news, noticing that the violence in it was almost all committed by men, and deciding to find out what a parent can change while a boy is small.
Tosha and Lisa map the predictors first. Fear, in all its forms, and change a child had no say in, which is what a divorce is. Rigidity, and the child who cannot cope when today runs differently from yesterday. Then the difference between an outburst anyone might have and a pattern you can see coming, which is the sentence that starts with hoping he does not throw the remote again this week.
The tools follow. Keeping everyone safe, including the parent, and why she would rather your door got dented than your arm scratched. Saying almost nothing, because it lands on a brain that cannot use it. Not naming your child's feelings for them, which she says goes over like lighter fluid. Stay listening, meaning staying present without trying to fix anything, and the notes some parents pass under the door that turn into a written back and forth about things too hard to say aloud. Tosha also takes on disrespect, and what to do when the words coming out of your child sound exactly like your ex, and closes on connection between the hard moments: rough and tumble play, indoor snowballs, dragging a kid around the floor on a sheet, and a timed block where they lead and you follow.
As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
🎓 What you'll learn
- What predicts aggression in a child, and why change they did not choose sets it off
- The difference between a one-off outburst and a pattern you can see coming
- How to keep everyone safe in the moment, including yourself
- Why you cannot talk a flooded child down, and the little you should say instead
- Why naming your child's emotions for them makes the outburst worse
- Stay listening: staying present without fixing, and the notes under the door
- What to do when your child's words sound like your ex coming out of their mouth
- Connection between the hard moments: rough and tumble play and letting them lead
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 How Tosha came to this work, and why she focused on boys
4:00 Predictors: fear, change nobody chose, and rigidity
6:00 A one-off outburst versus a pattern worth addressing
7:30 In the moment: keeping everyone safe, including you
9:00 Why you cannot talk a furious child out of a feeling
11:00 Nervous laughter, and the shame that follows hurting you
13:30 Stay listening, and the notes people slide under the door
16:30 Time-outs, and teaching a boy that asking for help is strong
19:00 When you hear your ex's voice coming out of your child
23:00 Rough and tumble play, and special time where they lead
Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Tosha Schore at Parenting Boys Peacefully: https://parentingboyspeacefully.com/
About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.
🎯 "I don't know what to expect — and that terrifies me."
If that's where you are right now, this conversation was made for you.
Dr. Benjamin Garber is a New Hampshire-licensed psychologist, former therapist of 30 years, custody evaluator, and legal consultant who has spent two years building one of the most practical resources available to family court litigants: DiffuseDivorce.com, a free library of advance orientation programs to prepare you for every stage of the family court process.
His central insight? The fear, overwhelm, and anxiety that fills your world when you step into family court isn't just painful — it is actively working against you. When your "anxiety balloon" is full, you can't think flexibly, communicate clearly, or show a judge and evaluator who you really are.
The research-backed solution is called advance orientation: giving yourself a roadmap before you engage with a process, so you can show up as yourself instead of a terrified version of yourself.
This concept, proven in medicine, dentistry, psychiatry, and now being applied to family law, is the foundation of everything Lisa and Chris teach at Been There Got Out. And in this conversation, Ben explains exactly why it works and where to get it for free.
💡 WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE:
✅ What "advance orientation" is and why it's backed by 55+ years of research across medicine, dentistry, and psychiatry
✅ Why your anxiety is actually hurting your custody case — and the science behind why
✅ How judges and evaluators are watching for "ecological validity" — are they seeing the real you?
✅ The single biggest misconception parents have about family court (and why it destroys cases)
✅ Why diagnosis (narcissism, bipolar, etc.) matters far less than dynamic in custody cases
✅ What Ben published that made his colleagues so angry they tried to submit a mass rebuttal
✅ Why family law doesn't belong in our court system — and what Ben thinks should replace it
✅ The 3 C's of successful co-parenting: Communication, Consistency, and Cooperation
✅ Why it's more important to fight for your kids than to fight with them
✅ Where to find free advance orientation programs for every stage of your case
📘 DiffuseDivorce.com — Free advance orientation programs for family court litigants
📘 FamilyLawConsulting.org — Ben's publications, consulting services, and book
📖 Holding Tight, Letting Go — Ben's book on child development and autonomy
📖 Twisted Allies — Ben's novel about family law work
FamilyCourtHelp #HighConflictDivorce #CustodyBattle #AdvanceOrientation #CustodyEvaluation #ParentalAlienation #CoParenting #DivorceSupport #NarcissisticAbuse #BeenThereGotOut
The word trigger gets used casually enough that it has stopped meaning one thing. Dr. Andrea DePetris separates two uses of it. In the trauma field it means a stimulus that activates the trauma memory network, where a person feels as though the danger is happening right now. In everyday use it means something in the present activating something unresolved from the past, often tied to early attachment.
Dr. Andrea DePetris is a clinical psychologist with an academic appointment at Yale School of Medicine who also works in private practice. Much of her caseload is adults who present as though they have it together and describe the opposite privately: anxiety, stress, and a sense that it could all come apart. Her work is helping people understand what earlier circumstances and relationships are still running underneath, and then updating it so their inside matches the life they are actually living.
In this episode she explains the window of tolerance, the range in which a person can stay clear, connected, and responsive. Trauma narrows it. Above the window is hyperarousal: fast speech, urgency, heat, volume, tension, the pull to win the exchange. Below it is hypoarousal: going silent, passivity, shrinking, emotional flatness, checking out. Andrea points out that which direction your body takes depends partly on how much agency you feel in the moment and partly on the environment you grew up in, and that both are the body protecting you rather than failing you.
The practical half covers what to do in the moment and what to rehearse beforehand. Adjusting posture and feeling your feet on the floor if you tend to shut down. A prepared sentence and physical distance if you tend to activate. Breathing with a long exhale to reach the parasympathetic system. Scanning your surroundings for five neutral objects, or one color, when focusing inward does not feel safe. Andrea and Lisa also talk about doing this in front of children on purpose, and about the repair conversation afterward, because a parent modeling regulation is teaching it.
As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
🎓 What you'll learn
- Two different meanings of "trigger," and which one people usually mean
- The window of tolerance, and what narrows it
- Hyperarousal and hypoarousal: the body signals that tell you which way you're heading
- Why your reaction depends on how much agency you feel, and on how you grew up
- The pause, and what it looks like differently for shutting down versus escalating
- Breathing for a long exhale, and why the exhale is the part that matters
- Grounding outside your body when focusing inward doesn't feel safe
- How to repair with your kids afterward, and why that's the modeling, not the failure
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 What "trigger" actually means, and whether warnings help
5:00 Meet Dr. Andrea DePetris, and the window of tolerance
8:00 Hyperarousal and hypoarousal: which way your body goes
11:00 The body signals to catch before an exchange goes sideways
12:00 The pause: posture for shutdown, stepping away for activation
16:00 Practice beats perfection, and repairing after you lose it
18:00 Breathing in flowers, blowing out birthday candles
19:00 When the body doesn't feel safe: grounding outside yourself
23:00 Coaching yourself, and completing the cycle with your kids
Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Dr. Andrea DePetris, The Verity Practice: https://drandreadepetris.com/
About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.
Monique represented herself in her own California custody case, then went to law school. Along the way she became a trained domestic violence advocate, and she now helps organize around a bill built to address the thing that kept happening to her and to people she works with: an ex who could no longer reach them any other way, so they filed a motion just to force them back into a courtroom.
Monique is a former BTGO client, a current law student, and a co-founder of a grassroots survivor advocacy group in Southern California. She is not an attorney, and she is careful to describe SB 1192, the Reclaim Act introduced by California State Senator Susan Rubio, as a proposal moving through the legislature rather than as current law.
In this episode, Monique and Lisa work through how the bill is structured: defining who qualifies for protection, an affidavit that a domestic violence advocate or a mental-health professional can sign, and protected filings on the other side of it. She explains that it would recognize repeated frivolous litigation, including filings meant only to insult, injure, or maintain contact, as post-separation abuse, and that where it applies, filing fees can be waived and an attorney provided at no charge. It builds on California's existing coercive-control protections rather than starting from scratch.
The back half is about advocacy itself: how survivor-led, bottom-up organizing gets laws like this passed, why testimony is most effective when it stays factual and within the time limit, and how Connecticut's Jennifer's Law opened the door other states are now walking through. Monique closes on the community work behind all of it.
As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
🎓 What you'll learn
- What California's proposed Reclaim Act (SB 1192) is trying to do about post-separation litigation
- Why the bill treats repeated frivolous filings, even ones meant only to force contact, as abuse
- The three-part structure: who qualifies, an affidavit, and then protected filings
- Who can sign the affidavit: a trained domestic violence advocate or a mental-health professional
- Where it applies: filing fees waived and an attorney provided at no cost
- How it builds on California's existing coercive-control protections rather than replacing them
- How survivor-led, bottom-up advocacy actually gets a bill like this passed
- Why testimony lands hardest when it stays factual, and how Jennifer's Law became the model
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 Reunion: from pro se client to law student
3:00 SB 1192, the Reclaim Act, and who introduced it
5:00 The three-part test: who qualifies
7:00 The affidavit: who can sign it, and the evidence
9:00 Frivolous filings, waived fees, and a free attorney
13:00 Protecting the advocates who sign
17:00 Survivor testimony: keep it factual
21:00 Getting a law like this passed in your state
25:00 The community work behind the bill
Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.
Somewhere around the teen years, a lot of alienated parents hit the same wall: the child who used to run to them now refuses to come at all. In this episode, psychologist Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, with fifty years helping families, offers advice that's both bracing and full of hope.
She starts with a truth few say out loud: some alienation is almost unavoidable in divorce, and it tends to peak in adolescence. But she reframes the picture: your child is half the other parent, and protecting them means helping them value that half. She and Lisa get practical: why your face and body at the exchange say more than words, how to rebuild trust with a wary teen the way you'd earn a rescued animal's trust, and what to do when a teenager refuses contact. Respect it, but never disappear. Write the letters. Keep the box. Because in her experience, the children come back.
This is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
✅ WHAT YOU'LL LEARN
✅ Why some alienation is almost unavoidable in divorce, and why it peaks in adolescence
✅ Why your child needs to value the half of them that's the other parent
✅ What your face and body communicate at the exchange (and how to check yourself)
✅ The "rescued animal" approach to rebuilding trust with a wary teen
✅ How to reframe a "strong-willed" child as a strength, not a problem
✅ What to do when a teenager flatly refuses contact
✅ Why writing letters and keeping them matters more than you think
✅ Why the children so often come back, and how to be ready
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS (+1:00 for the bumper)
0:00 Intro
1:00 Meet Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst: 50 years with families
2:48 Why some alienation is unavoidable in divorce
4:30 The attachments kids lose, and the one they cling to
6:55 Honor the other parent: your child is half of them
8:52 Reframing a "strong-willed" child as a gift
13:45 What your body says at the exchange
23:01 The "rescued animal" approach to rebuilding trust
26:24 When your teen refuses: respect it, and stay connected
31:22 Write the letters, keep the box: why kids come back
36:38 You can't do this alone
41:42 Where to find Dr. Vanderhorst
CTA (spoken): Losing your teenager to alienation? Book a free discovery call at beentheregotout.com.
Books: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You — https://www.amazon.com/Been-There-Got-Out-Against/dp/1967674183 · Been There Got Out — https://www.amazon.com/Been-There-Got-Relationships-Circumstances/dp/194627495X/
Tags: parental alienation, alienated parent, teenager refuses visitation, reconnecting with child, co-parenting teenager, staying connected, custody, high conflict divorce, protecting your kids
One assumption does real damage in a contested separation: that child protective services is a route to custody. Sara Vandenberg, who worked those cases from the inside, says the agency does not recommend custodial arrangements between two parents and cannot hand a child to one of them. Court is where custody is decided, and calls made for custody reasons tend to come back on the person who made them.
Sara Vandenberg is a psychotherapist and trauma professional who specializes in familial sexual abuse and incest, and works with survivors of abuse more broadly. She spent about three years as a child protective services caseworker in Texas before moving into clinical practice, and she now runs Tonalli Counseling Services along with a coaching and consulting practice. Her book, Choosing to Love Again, is about recovering from betrayal, from familial abuse to infidelity and abandonment. This is her second conversation on the show.
She starts by lowering the temperature: investigations are common, they are usually short, and removal is rare. Then she draws the line that changes how you understand the whole process. A caseworker is not assessing whether you are a good parent. They are assessing whether the child is safe, which is why an investigation can close with nothing happening even when real harm is present. Her risk-versus-danger frame does the rest of the work: risk is the deer-crossing sign, danger is the deer in the road.
The rest is practical. What to document, and why she wants a record of your child's behavior rather than a file on your ex. What a caseworker notices in a home, which is closer to milk in the fridge than an immaculate kitchen. What defensiveness sounds like when a parent lists everything they do and everything their ex does not. Preparing a child for an interview without coaching them, and how coaching gives itself away. Substances, including hair follicle testing that looks back months on a child. Getting written confirmation that a case was ruled out. What to do, early, if a placement may be coming. And repeated false reports: why you cannot stop them, and what a pattern of them eventually says about the person making the calls.
As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
🎓 What you'll learn
- Why a report to child protective services is not a route to custody
- The difference between clinical harm and what an abuse statute actually covers
- Risk versus danger, and which one an investigation turns on
- What to document before an investigation, and why it's your child's behavior
- What a caseworker looks at in your home, and what they are not looking at
- How to prepare a child for an interview without it reading as coaching
- How to get written documentation that a case was ruled out
- What to do early if a placement may be coming, and how a safety plan differs from a removal
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 How common investigations are, and how rarely a child is removed
3:00 The myth that child protective services decides custody
5:00 Handling the panic, and how short the process usually is
8:00 What to document, and clinical harm vs. the abuse statute
12:00 Risk vs. danger: the deer-crossing frame
14:00 Defensiveness, and what a caseworker hears in "I did, he didn't"
16:00 What they look at in your home
18:00 When a caseworker can act before a judge signs off
20:00 Substances, hair follicle testing, and preparing a child for the interview
24:00 If placement is coming: naming a safe person early
27:00 Repeated false reports, and how children actually handle them
Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Sara Vandenberg at Tonalli Services: https://tonalliservices.com/
About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.
Ninety seconds is what Dr. Sylvia Kalachinsky asks for. Breathe, observe, describe, yield. She walks Lisa through it live in this episode, and by the end of it Lisa notices her shoulders have come down without her deciding to lower them.
Dr. Sylvia Kalachinsky, known to her audience as Dr. Sylvia K, is a licensed marriage and family therapist with a doctorate in family therapy and over twenty-one years of practice. She has worked with at-risk youth, provided family therapy inside juvenile detention centers and in clients' homes, worked with migrant families in California, and led group therapy at Mount Sinai for people stepping down from inpatient care. She started writing her book "Lonely AF" during the pandemic when her clinical hours were cut, and she now lives and practices in Geneva. She also hosts her own interview podcast.
This conversation begins with what intergenerational trauma actually means: adaptive strategies passed down through at least three generations, some of them learned and modeled, some of them never questioned because challenging a family rule carries its own cost. Sylvia explains why people are drawn to partners who reproduce how they felt in their family of origin, and why a nervous system conditioned to one environment will reject a healthier one for feeling unfamiliar. She also widens the definition of trauma past the obvious, using a reframe from her EMDR training: anything that was too much for too long, or too little for too long.
The second half is about what you can do while a case is pending and your nervous system is already overloaded. Sylvia describes the amygdala hijack, why the executive part of the brain goes offline under threat, and why the interventions people are usually told to try, meditation and yoga, are not available in that state. Instead she teaches in-between moments: relaxing your hands around the phone, moving one toe until you cannot think about anything else, and the BODY skill in ninety seconds. She explains why practicing when you are calm is what makes it available when you are not, why she advises doing it silently so a difficult ex cannot weaponize it, and what a child learns when they watch a parent regulate rather than being sent away to manage it alone.
As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
🎓 What you'll learn
- What intergenerational trauma means, and why patterns show up across three generations
- Why people are drawn to partners who feel familiar rather than safe
- Why a conditioned nervous system rejects a healthy relationship at first
- A wider definition of trauma: too much for too long, or too little for too long
- The amygdala hijack, and why calm-down advice does not work in that state
- The BODY skill: breathe, observe, describe, yield, in ninety seconds
- Why to regulate silently, so a difficult ex cannot use it against you
- How to draw a genogram and read your family's pattern for handling conflict
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 What intergenerational trauma means, and why it shows up in every family
4:00 Sylvia's background, and the book she wrote in the pandemic
7:00 Choosing partners who feel familiar rather than safe
10:00 A nervous system that rejects what is healthy for being unfamiliar
13:00 Little-t and big-T trauma, and why minimizing is its own adaptation
16:00 Hypervigilance under legal threat, and the amygdala hijack
19:00 The big-toe trick, and using the in-between moments
21:00 The BODY skill: breathe, observe, describe, yield
28:00 Doing it without announcing it, so it cannot be used against you
31:00 Somatic work over talk therapy, and modeling regulation for your kids
Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Dr. Sylvia Kalachinsky: https://drsylviak.com
🔗 Dr. Sylvia K on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsylviak/
About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.
Children handle a strict teacher and a lenient one in the same school day without much trouble. Dr. Jill Leibowitz applies that to co-parenting: what a child needs is for each home to be predictable inside itself, not for the two to match. The trouble starts when a parent decides the other house has to fall in line.
Our guest is Dr. Jill Leibowitz, a clinical psychologist with a private practice in New York City, back for another conversation. She does play therapy with young children, talk therapy with adolescents and adults, parenting work, and dyadic sessions with a parent and infant together to build secure attachment. She is the author of two children's books, The Untold Story of Itsy Bitsy's Long Emotional Day and its sequel Mama's Stressed, which model both sides of a meltdown: helping a child regulate, and repairing afterward when the grown-up is the one who lost it.
Jill starts with why a child says different things in different homes, and why that is usually not lying. A feeling that was true Tuesday can be untrue Thursday. More than that, a child brings one part of themselves to one parent and another part to the other, and each parent ends up certain the other is missing something.
She and Lisa then go through the specific things that inflame a case. Relaying your child's complaint to the other parent as an instruction. Insisting on identical rules when the thing that actually needs to be consistent is sleep, not bedtime routines. Screen time, and the question Jill wants a parent to ask before starting a fight: where will this battle get me. Being looped into a group text with the kids so they can lobby for the other parent's position, and the one-line reply that ends it. Sleepaway camp, and how two parents each amplify one half of a child's ambivalence. And what to do when you are the parent who never hears the hard stuff.
As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
🎓 What you'll learn
- Why a child telling each parent something different is usually not lying
- Code-switching between two homes, and why kids handle it better than parents expect
- What actually needs to be consistent across households, and what does not
- Why telling the other parent how to parent in their own home backfires every time
- The question to ask before you fight about screen time in a house you are not in
- How to answer when your ex loops the kids into a text thread to lobby you
- Sleepaway camp: how two parents each feed one half of a child's mixed feelings
- Why giving a child decision-making power is a burden, not a gift
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 Meeting Dr. Jill Leibowitz, and her two children's books
3:00 Why a child says one thing to you and another to your ex
5:00 Bringing a different self to each parent, and why both are true
7:00 Telling the other parent how to parent, and why it backfires
9:00 Consistency between homes: what has to match and what does not
13:00 Screen time, and where this battle actually gets you
17:00 When your ex loops the kids into the text thread
19:00 Summer camp, and the child who is excited and terrified at once
23:00 The parent your child does not bring the hard stuff to
27:00 Why power is a burden for a child, and where to find Jill
Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Dr. Jill Leibowitz at Real Talks Everyday: https://realtalkseveryday.com/
🔗 Dr. Jill Leibowitz on Instagram (@realtalkseveryday): https://www.instagram.com/realtalkseveryday/
About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.
Horses read your state, not your words. That is the whole premise of this conversation, and it is why Kasia Bukowska says a horse can find something a person has been talking around for years.
Our guest is Kasia Bukowska, an equestrian coach and equine-assisted therapist working from Poland. Her own path into this was not smooth. Her horses would not do what she asked, she went home frustrated and in tears, and she started painting to process it. Analyzing her own paintings afterward, asking why she had used those colors, why the horse's head was up or down, is how she began to decode what the animals were showing her. She keeps six horses and works with four, including one she uses rarely and only with experienced people, because several vets once told her he was too dangerous to keep.
Kasia walks through what a session involves. She and the client talk on the walk up to the paddock, then she opens the gate and lets one or two horses take themselves into the arena. Nobody rides. The horse wears nothing, so it can move away, come closer, or ignore the whole thing, and each of those is treated as a response rather than an accident. She sets a task, deliberately without instructions, and watches how the person solves it. Her guiding line, which she says she picked up at a seminar, is that the way you do one thing is the way you do everything.
The reason this lands for a BTGO audience is what she describes about reliving. If you are talking about being pushed around while a horse walks toward you, the horse will read the state you are in rather than the sentence you are saying, and it may walk straight into your space. Kasia also covers the version of this for people with no access to horses at all: watching one animal closely enough to leave your own head, getting genuinely grounded rather than performing it, and saying out loud that you are scared. She ends on how to find an equine-assisted or equine gestalt practitioner locally, and the same practice applied to a cat, a dog, or a tree.
As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
🎓 What you'll learn
- What an equine-assisted session actually involves, and why nobody rides
- Why the horse wears no halter, and what it means when it walks away
- "The way you do one thing is the way you do everything," tested in an arena
- Why a horse responds to the memory you are reliving, not the words you are saying
- How to get something out of watching horses from a fence, with no session booked
- Saying out loud that you are frightened, and what that releases
- Why addiction, anxiety and self-blame keep leading back to the same core
- How to find an equine-assisted, equine gestalt, or online practitioner
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 You do not need to own a horse for any of this
3:00 Kasia's work, and painting her way to what the horses were saying
7:00 What a session actually looks like
11:00 Why the horse stays loose, with nothing on it
13:00 The horse answers what you are reliving, not what you are saying
15:00 "The way you do one thing is the way you do everything"
19:00 Addiction, childhood, and the same core underneath
22:00 If all you can do is watch horses from a fence
25:00 Saying out loud that you are scared
29:00 Finding a practitioner, and how online sessions work
33:00 The shire horse, the pole, and what softening did
Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Kasia Bukowska at Heart Horse Experience: https://www.hearthorseexperience.com/
🔗 Kasia Bukowska on Instagram (@equestrian_kasia_bukowska): https://www.instagram.com/equestrian_kasia_bukowska/
About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.
A liar is a liar today, tomorrow, and twenty years from now, David Goldberg says, and so is someone telling the truth. That is his argument against rushing to book the fastest, cheapest examiner you can find when a false allegation has just upended your custody case.
David Goldberg is a state-licensed, advanced board-certified polygraph examiner. He spent his early career in law enforcement, and in the roughly 25 years since he has run more than 20,000 examinations for people who were never arrested or charged: parents accused in custody disputes, people facing rumors or workplace accusations, students, and adults trying to confirm something they remember from childhood. He describes himself and Lisa as being in the same line of work in one respect, which is that people arrive at both of their doors in a state of panic.
The conversation opens on that panic, because David treats settling someone down as part of the job rather than a courtesy. He books one client a day and gives that person as long as it takes, on the reasoning that a rushed intake produces badly formed questions. He then walks Lisa through the sequence for a parent whose children have been removed on an allegation: the intake, questions built both around what you say happened and around what the other side is claiming, the verbal result the same day, and a detailed written report inside 24 hours.
They cover what a parent can and cannot make happen. You cannot compel your ex to test. A court can order one, and therapists and evaluators sometimes request one. David also talks about what the waiting costs while a case sits, in terms of contact with your children and the relationship you then have to rebuild.
The last part is the part people argue about. David names three reasons someone fails, and says the frequent one is withholding information rather than deception. He explains how to vet an examiner, why an examiner experienced only in pre-employment screening is the wrong choice for a custody or abuse allegation, and where to check credentials. On admissibility he is precise: the charts do not come in, the report can where a judge allows it, and he has had cases dropped by an agency before a courtroom was ever involved. He closes on what he sees when he tells someone they passed.
As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
🎓 What you'll learn
- What a polygraph can realistically do for a falsely accused parent
- Why an examiner should settle you down before testing, and why that does not skew results
- The sequence: intake, pre-test interview, same-day verbal result, written report
- Why the report is written in detail rather than as a pass-or-fail page
- Whether you can make your ex take one, and when a court can order it
- The three reasons David says people fail, and why holding back is the common one
- How to choose an examiner, and why to avoid referral services
- What is admissible: the report versus the charts, and the cases that end before court
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 Calming down before you test
3:00 David's background, and the range of issues he tests for
9:00 Falsely accused in a custody case: the process step by step
13:00 The verbal result, then the detailed written report
15:00 Can you make your ex take one? Can a court order it?
17:00 What the waiting costs you and your children
19:00 The three reasons people fail a polygraph
23:00 Choosing an examiner, and the shortcuts to avoid
25:00 Admissibility, and using a result outside the courtroom
33:00 What closure actually looks like
Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 David Goldberg, Executive Protection Group: https://www.executiveprotectiongrp.com/
About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.
The baiting is the point. When a co-parent pushes a boundary the court will not enforce, drops the kids' things off after being told not to, needles you in front of the children, it is engineered to spike your nervous system so you react and end up looking like the problem. Dr. Jordin Wiggins works on the one thing you can actually control in that moment: your own physiology.
Dr. Jordin Wiggins is a naturopathic doctor of more than a decade who noticed her patients' health complaints kept overlapping with coercive control and abuse, then lived through an abusive relationship herself without seeing it at the time. She now helps high-achieving people recover, using nervous-system regulation and a reconnection to their own sense of self. She and Lisa found their common ground fast: their clients are the capable, empathetic people abusers tend to seek out.
The first half is recognition. The "super traits" that make you exceptional at work and vulnerable in love, the boiled-frog way coercive control erodes you until you cannot remember what you like, and the particular shame of being the role model it happened to. Jordin explains how chronic stress shuts the body down, why reclaiming small pleasures and plain fun is part of recovery, and how much of the injustice, from the ex to a court that will not act, is real and worth being angry about.
The second half is the toolkit. Feel and finish your own feelings rather than suppressing them or projecting them (she spends real time on a simple feelings wheel, because the word she hears most is "overwhelmed"). Use the watchdog, possum, and wise owl to get back to your thinking brain. Stop overexplaining. And train regulation when you are calm, through tiny repeatable practices like a skincare routine or the lotion challenge, so that when your ex shows up at the door to bait you, you can bring yourself back down. She closes on where to find her and a worksheet to start.
As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
🎓 What you'll learn
- Why "super traits" like empathy and loyalty make you excellent at work and easy to target
- Why emotional baiting is designed to trigger your nervous system, and how not to take the hook
- The watchdog, possum, and wise owl: getting back to your thinking brain before you respond
- Why overexplaining to someone intent on misunderstanding you always backfires
- How to validate and complete your own feelings instead of suppressing or projecting them
- Why you can't control the ex, the court, or the system, and where your power actually is
- Nervous-system regulation you practice alone, so you have it when the baiting starts
- Small pleasure practices (like the "lotion challenge") that turn the stress response back down
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 Protecting your energy when co-parenting with an abusive ex
3:00 "Super traits," and why capable people don't see the abuse
7:00 The boiled frog: how coercive control erodes you slowly
11:00 Losing yourself, and the shame of "you of all people"
14:00 Stress, the body, and reclaiming what you actually like
19:00 The power of fun, and forgetting who you are
21:00 A real co-parenting case: baiting, boundaries, and injustice
25:00 Feeling your feelings instead of managing everyone else's
28:00 Watchdog, possum, wise owl, and why overexplaining backfires
31:00 Completing the emotional cycle, and getting your power back
39:00 Regulation you train alone, the lotion challenge, and finding Jordin
Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.
There's a moment most people in our community know well. Your phone lights up with a message from your ex. Or you're sitting in the parking lot outside the courthouse. Or you're on the phone with your attorney and your voice starts shaking.
You know the response you want to give. You know the person you want to be in that moment. And then something happens — a thought spiral, a surge of adrenaline, a reaction you didn't plan — and afterward, you're sitting there wondering what just happened.
That's not a character flaw. That's dysregulation. And it is absolutely something you can learn to change.
Our guest today, Bonnie Butler, knows this from two directions: as someone who lived through her own version of emotional chaos — adopting six traumatized teenagers at once after years of fostering — and as a certified emotional regulation coach who has helped hundreds of clients transform the way they respond to stress, conflict, and the impossible situations life throws at them.
This conversation with Lisa is one of those episodes where you'll want to stop and take notes. Or maybe you'll just find yourself nodding along, because finally someone is naming what you've been experiencing.
Timestamps:
00:00 — Opening: the problem of knee-jerk reactions with a toxic ex
01:20 — Bonnie defines emotional regulation in plain language
03:45 — The pause technique: interrupting the thought spiral with a physical cue
07:10 — Why holding your breath makes rational thought impossible
09:30 — Bonnie introduces herself: from overwhelmed foster/adoptive mom to regulation coach
14:00 — The turning point: hitting a wall and learning the hard way
18:20 — Why no one ever teaches us to manage our emotions
21:40 — Her 12-week program and what transformation actually looks like
25:00 — Why clients resist the tools at first — and what happens when they try anyway
29:15 — Self-regulation explained: what it feels like when you've got it
33:00 — Co-regulation: how your state spreads to everyone around you
37:20 — The heartbreaking thing that happens when kids try to regulate their parents
40:45 — How modeling regulation teaches your kids to regulate themselves
43:00 — "Name it to tame it": why naming an emotion is the first step to releasing it
46:15 — "The anxiety I'm feeling" vs. "my anxiety": a small shift, a big door
48:30 — Meet Jim: how one client made friends with their anxiety to stop being controlled by it
51:00 — Our thoughts are not facts — and you don't have to keep every thought you have
54:20 — The thought closet: choosing what you keep and what you let go
57:00 — Change, loss, and grief — why healing always has a harder side
01:01:00 — "Paddles in the canoe": taking back the steering wheel of your life
01:04:30 — What you focus on grows: the profound shift in how Bonnie saw her own life
01:08:00 — From "what might have been" to "what could be"
01:12:00 — How to connect with Bonnie
Connect with Bonnie Butler:
Website & booking: bonniebutlercoaching.com
Instagram: @bonniebutlercoaching
Facebook: Bonnie Butler Coaching
Email: bonnie@bonniebutlercoaching.com
EmotionalRegulation #HighConflictDivorce #CustodyBattle #CoParentingHelp #NarcissistEx #DivorceCoach #BonnieButler #BeenThereGotOut
If your spouse owns a business — or if you co-own one together — your divorce just got significantly more complicated. The business isn't just a job. It's potentially a marital asset, a hidden income source, and a leverage point all at once. And if your ex controls the books? You may have no idea what it's actually worth.
In this episode, we sit down with Sara Nanchanatt, a forensic accountant and founder of SN Forensics in New York City, to break down exactly what a business valuation is, why it matters so much in divorce, and what you can actually do — right now, and often for free — to start building your financial picture even when your ex isn't cooperating.
About Sara Nanchanatt:
Sara Nanchanatt is a forensic accountant and the founder of SN Forensics, a forensic accounting firm based in New York City that works remotely with clients across the United States. Sara and her team specialize in divorce-related financial analysis, including business valuations, income available for support calculations, and uncovering financial manipulation by business-owning spouses. Sara brings a practical, cost-conscious approach to forensic accounting — her firm offers multiple levels of service, from streamlined "indication of value" analyses used in mediation all the way to full court-ready expert reports. Her goal is always to make sure that whatever you spend on financial analysis actually makes sense given the value of what's at stake.
TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 - Introduction: Business and divorce — why it's uniquely complicated
01:20 - Sara introduces herself and SN Forensics
02:05 - When one spouse doesn't have access to the business financials: what to do
03:10 - The "check your mail" strategy for identifying unknown financial accounts
03:45 - What IRS tax transcripts are, how to get them, and why they matter
05:00 - What a business valuation is and why courts care about it
05:50 - How forensic accountants identify income hidden in business expenses
06:40 - "Instant poverty syndrome": when the business mysteriously loses money before divorce
07:30 - What happens when tax fraud surfaces in a divorce proceeding
08:20 - Using business valuations as leverage to push your ex toward settlement
09:10 - Service businesses and the "discount for lack of marketability"
09:50 - Free spousal labor in a business — and why it may not protect you in court
11:00 - Types of valuation: back of the envelope, indication of value, and full expert report
12:00 - How to find Sara Nanchanatt and SN Forensics
Connect with Sara Nanchanatt:
🌐 Website: snforensics.com
📸 Instagram: @snforensics (brand new — reach out directly with questions)
📸 Follow BTGO on Instagram: @been_there_got_out 📖
Read our blog: BeenThereGotOut.com/blog
DivorceFinances #BusinessValuationDivorce #ForensicAccountant #HiddenAssets #HighConflictDivorce #DivorceStrategy #CoOwningBusinessDivorce #InstantPovertySyndrome #DivorceCoach #FinancialAbuse #NarcissisticAbuse #DivorceAdvice #BeenThereGotOut
Sara Vandenburg brings a perspective you won't find anywhere else: she's both a highly credentialed therapist specializing in childhood sexual abuse AND a survivor who has done the deep healing work to talk about her own experience "like the weather." In this profoundly important conversation with Lisa Johnson, Sara shares insights that could literally save children's lives and transform families.
Why Sara's voice matters: As someone who experienced incest by both biological parents over an eight-year period and has trained extensively in trauma therapy (LCSW Supervisor, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, Brain Spotting certified), Sara understands both the clinical realities and the lived experience of familial sexual abuse. Her ability to discuss her own trauma with complete peace demonstrates what's possible with proper therapeutic support.
This interview offers guidance no other resource provides - the intersection of professional expertise, personal recovery, and practical strategies for parents navigating the most difficult situations imaginable in high-conflict custody cases.
What You'll Learn:
✅ How one in three girls and one in ten boys experience childhood sexual abuse
✅ Why incest may occur in one in ten households (and why it's severely underreported)
✅ The critical difference between sexual abuse by anyone vs. abuse within families
✅ Sara's concept of the "elephant in the room" - why untreated trauma affects your children
✅ How family secrets travel through generations even when children don't know the details
✅ The neuroscience behind why stored trauma in your body creates vulnerability in your kids
✅ A powerful story of three-generational disclosure and healing
✅ How to create an environment where children feel safe telling you anything
✅ Why your reaction to small disclosures determines whether children will share bigger concerns
✅ What brain spotting therapy is and how it releases stored trauma from the body
✅ How brain spotting differs from EMDR (both use bilateral brain stimulation)
✅ The importance of finding therapists who understand your trauma doesn't define you
✅ Age-appropriate language for teaching body safety to children as young as 4-5
✅ Why pornography exposure at ages 8-9 means earlier conversations are essential
✅ Documentation strategies when you notice behavioral changes in your child
✅ How to distinguish between patterns and isolated incidents
✅ Understanding healthy shame (humanity, humility, responsibility)
✅ Understanding healthy guilt (values and amends)
✅ What complete healing looks like - being able to discuss trauma matter-of-factly
✅ Why waiting until children are 25+ is often best for certain disclosures
About Sara Vandenburg, LCSW-S: Sara Vandenburg is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker Supervisor in Texas and Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Hawaii with specialized training in treating familial sexual abuse and trauma. Her credentials include:
- Licensed Clinical Social Worker Supervisor (Texas)
- Licensed Clinical Social Worker (Hawaii)
- Certified Sex Addiction Therapist
- Licensed Chemical Dependency Counselor
- Certified in Brain Spotting (advanced somatic therapy)
Sara's micro-niche is familial sexual abuse, and she offers counseling, coaching, and energy healing services through her practice. Her forthcoming book, "Choosing to Love Again: Overcoming the Kind of Betrayal That Nobody Talks About," provides 60% personal memoir and 40% clinical guidance with experiential exercises for healing from profound betrayal.
📚 RESOURCES & CONTACT INFORMATION:
Sara Vandenburg:
Website: tonalliservices.com
Services offered: Counseling, coaching, energy healing
Book a free complimentary conversation to explore working together
Upcoming book: "Choosing to Love Again: Overcoming the Kind of Betrayal That Nobody Talks About" (2026 release)
Making critical decisions in high-conflict divorce when you can barely trust your own judgment? This interview is essential viewing.
After experiencing gaslighting, manipulation, and betrayal in a toxic relationship, many people struggle to trust their instincts—especially when the stakes are highest. Should you push for a custody evaluation? Is your ex really alienating the kids, or are you being paranoid? How do you read the Guardian ad Litem? What if you're wrong about everything?
Strategic intuition expert Jock Brocas—who used intuitive intelligence to stay alive in military operations and high-risk security situations—shares practical techniques for cutting through fear and confusion to make sound decisions when everything is on the line.
This conversation goes far beyond typical "trust your gut" advice. You'll learn pattern recognition techniques, box breathing for high-stakes court situations, and how to distinguish between fear-based panic and genuine intuitive warning signs. These are military-grade tools adapted for family court survival.
Perfect for anyone facing custody evaluations, court hearings, mediation with a difficult ex, or any high-conflict situation where you need clarity but fear is clouding your judgment.
WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:
✓ Strategic intuitive intelligence: Combining your experiences, training, and natural intuition
✓ Why fear gives you the wrong signals exactly when you need accuracy most
✓ Pattern recognition for identifying your ex's manipulation tactics
✓ How to tell if it's genuine intuition or just anxiety/ego
✓ Box breathing: Military technique for staying calm in court or evaluations
✓ The power of "the pause" before responding to provocations
✓ Simple practices that train your mind to recognize signals vs. noise
✓ Why going silent is your superpower in high-conflict situations
ABOUT JOCK BROCAS:
Jock Brocas brings a unique combination of military intelligence, high-risk security experience, and spiritual research to the question of how we make critical decisions under pressure. With 25+ years as a professional medium and extensive work in executive protection and undercover operations, Jock now works with lawyers, scientists, and professionals on strategic intuition. He's completing a master's in psychology (PhD starting October) and founded Help4Lawyer to support legal professionals in high-stakes cases. Author of "Powers of the Sixth Sense."
LIKE this video if it helped you see your situation more clearly. SUBSCRIBE for weekly expert guidance on high-conflict divorce. COMMENT: What decision are you facing right now where you need better intuition?
HighConflictDivorce #CustodyEvaluation #FamilyCourt #StrategicIntuition #DivorceStrategy #ToxicCoParent #CourtPreparation #GuardianAdLitem #CustodyBattle #IntuitiveIntelligence
Losing someone you love does not usually make you question whether the relationship was real. Betrayal takes the memories with it. Dr. Debi Silber's study participants told her, unanimously, that this is the difference: betrayal feels chosen, so the whole self goes with it, and the healing has to be built differently as a result.
Dr. Debi Silber is the founder and CEO of the PBT Institute, PBT standing for post betrayal transformation, and she has been coaching in health, wellness and personal development for over three decades. Her research began after two betrayals of her own, one within her family and one from her husband a few years later. She looked for a book or a program that addressed what she was living through, found nothing that fit, and enrolled in a PhD program to study it herself while raising four children and running a practice. She has since written several books on the subject and now certifies coaches, therapists and other practitioners in her model.
In this episode Debi lays out the three findings from that research. That betrayal is a distinct kind of trauma, because unlike grief it is experienced as deliberate, which takes rejection, abandonment, belonging, worthiness and trust down with it. That there is a recognizable cluster of physical, mental and emotional symptoms afterward, which she named post betrayal syndrome and which does not resolve on its own with time. And that recovery runs through five stages in a predictable order, with a known set of moves for getting from each one to the next.
She also walks through the window of willingness, her scale for what a betrayer offers once they are caught: full ownership at one end, an excuse next, blame aimed back at you after that, and flat denial at the far end. She and Lisa spend time on stage three, survival, where most people put down roots because it feels so much better than the shock that came before it, and on what changes at stage four when someone stops waiting for the other person to make it right. They close on trust, and on why rebuilding trust in your own perception and your own decisions has to come before any question about trusting anyone else. Lisa shares her own path through it, and where she landed.
As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
🎓 What you'll learn
- Why betrayal is a different kind of trauma from grief, and what it does to self-trust
- The window of willingness: four ways a betrayer responds, and what each leaves you
- Why "I did it because you" is where the window closes, and why none of it is yours to carry
- Post betrayal syndrome: the physical, mental and emotional symptoms that cluster together
- Why time on its own doesn't heal betrayal, and what deliberate healing involves instead
- The five stages, and why stage three feels like recovery when it isn't
- What people find themselves outgrowing on the way to stage four
- Why rebuilding trust starts with your own judgment and perception, not the other person
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 What betrayal is, and why the depth of trust changes the damage
2:00 Why Debi went and got a PhD to study it
4:00 Finding one: betrayal is its own kind of trauma
5:30 Why the support is different, and why people hide it
8:00 The window of willingness: four responses, four very different futures
11:00 Betrayal is a choice, not a mistake
13:00 Finding two: post betrayal syndrome, and why time doesn't do the work
19:00 Finding three: the five stages, and the four-legged table
22:00 Stage three: survival, and why people put down roots there
25:30 Stages four and five: a new normal, and who comes with you
28:30 The trust misconception, and rebuilding self-trust first
Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com/
About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.
Is your child struggling with your separation or divorce? Wondering if they need professional help? Licensed play therapist Jenny Hornby joins Lisa to discuss the critical signs that children need therapeutic support during high-conflict divorce - and why getting help for yourself might be even more important.
In this essential conversation, you'll discover when therapy becomes necessary, what different therapeutic approaches can offer, and how to find the right mental health professional for your family's specific situation. Jenny shares expert insights on play therapy, EMDR for trauma processing, and why the "oxygen mask principle" applies to parents navigating custody battles.
Whether you're just starting separation proceedings or deep into a custody battle, this conversation provides the guidance you need to support your child's emotional wellbeing while taking care of yourself too.
🎯 WHO THIS IS FOR: Parents navigating high-conflict divorce or custody disputes who want to protect their children's mental health and get practical guidance on therapeutic support options.
💡 WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:
00:00 - Introduction: Helping kids through parental conflict
00:27 - How common is post-separation parental conflict?
01:25 - Signs your child is experiencing trauma from divorce
01:59 - Why "reorganization" matters for children
02:54 - Should every child in divorce see a therapist?
04:30 - What to look for: When professional help becomes necessary
05:42 - Why parents need therapy as much as kids do
07:23 - The airplane oxygen mask principle explained
08:45 - How your emotional state impacts your children
10:12 - Why kids can "see" more than you think
11:48 - Your child's heightened sensitivity during conflict
13:16 - What parentification means in divorce situations
15:03 - How children fill emotional voids
16:42 - Warning signs your child is becoming your support system
18:28 - Why kids blame themselves for parental struggles
20:15 - The danger of children taking on adult roles
22:07 - Play therapy explained: What happens in sessions
24:33 - Age-appropriate therapeutic approaches
26:18 - Why play is the "language" of childhood
28:45 - EMDR therapy for processing divorce trauma
31:22 - How EMDR works: The science behind bilateral stimulation
33:58 - Different EMDR techniques (eye movement, tapping, music)
36:14 - When EMDR is most effective for children
38:42 - How to locate qualified play therapists and EMDR specialists
40:17 - The EMDRIA directory resource
41:53 - Psychology Today as a search tool
43:28 - The importance of therapeutic "fit"
45:06 - The "three session rule" before making a decision
47:22 - What to do when therapy isn't working after months
49:11 - Lauren Barnett's therapist matchmaking approach
51:38 - The "favorite teacher" technique for finding the right match
53:55 - Why personality compatibility matters more than credentials alone
55:42 - Jenny's children's book: "Made for This"
57:18 - Using stories to start difficult conversations
58:50 - Final advice: It really does start with you
60:05 - Wrap-up and how to connect with Jenny
📚 RESOURCES MENTIONED:
EMDRIA (EMDR International Association) directory: emdria.org
Psychology Today therapist finder
Jenny Hornby's book "Made for This" (children's book about facing fears)
Instagram: @MissJennyBooks
Website: MissJennyBooks.com
👥 ABOUT JENNY HORNBY:
Jenny Hornby is a licensed counselor in Virginia, clinical supervisor, and specialist in both play therapy and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). She works with children ages 4 and up, providing individual therapy, family counseling, and parenting support. Jenny is also a children's book author, using narratives to help kids process difficult emotions and experiences.
📖 RELATED RESOURCES FROM BEEN THERE GOT OUT:
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🎯 "What does a custody evaluator actually look for?"
If you're terrified of your upcoming custody evaluation, attorney Tracy Galloway has the answer—and it might not be what you think.
Tracy has been a Massachusetts child custody and divorce attorney for over 30 years. She started at the Department of Children and Families working child welfare and abuse/neglect cases before transitioning to private practice in 1998.
And here's what makes her perspective unique: Tracy does custody evaluations herself.
"I need to see that the person in front of me is being proportionate about their experience, but also able to hold in their mind at the same time that a judge needs facts and what's going to be best for a child," Tracy explains. "That's a lot of plates to hold at the same time."
This conversation demystifies the custody evaluation process, explains the different types of GALs and what they're actually looking for, and provides practical strategies for presenting yourself credibly—even when discussing domestic violence.
What You'll Learn:
✅ What custody evaluations are and when they're ordered
✅ Category E GALs (clinicians) vs. Category F GALs (attorneys)—and why the difference matters
✅ Does it matter who pays the GAL? (No—and here's why)
✅ Substituted judgment GALs: When child's therapy privilege is at issue
✅ How to talk about domestic violence: "It's not the what, it's the how"
✅ What "proportionate communication" means to evaluators
✅ Why credibility matters more than having all the answers
✅ Does confirmation bias exist? (Should you meet the GAL first?)
✅ What evaluators want to see: openness, cooperation, child-focus
✅ The two things to do TODAY if evaluation is coming
✅ How to prepare: Brief, informative, factual email
✅ Why anger management and exercise are critical
✅ "You met that person, you made a baby with that person—this is what you have to work with"
✅ Tracy's passionate, direct approach to helping clients take responsibility
About Tracy Galloway:
Attorney Tracy Galloway has been practicing Massachusetts child custody and divorce law for over 30 years. Her roots are in litigation for the Department of Children and Families, handling child welfare, abuse, and neglect cases. Since transitioning to private practice in 1998, she's honed her focus specifically to divorce—"Because it's a very, it's its own model and it ends up with the happy result at the end of a divorce." Tracy also conducts custody evaluations herself, giving her unique dual perspective as both advocate and evaluator. She's the founder of Divorce Bootcamp, an online coaching business born from frustration that there isn't more accessible information available in multiple formats (video, not just text) for people navigating divorce. She offers free and low-cost resources, coaching, and "fresh talk" to anyone who needs it—literally giving her cell phone number and offering 5 free minutes to anyone who texts.
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 - Introduction: Demystifying custody evaluations
02:10 - What is a custody evaluation and when is it ordered?
03:58 - Category E (clinician) vs. Category F (attorney) GALs
05:47 - Tracy's background: DCF to private practice to Divorce Bootcamp
07:06 - How to talk about domestic violence to evaluators
07:58 - Proportionate communication: Holding multiple plates at once
09:45 - Credibility is everything: They need to believe you
12:30 - Does it matter who pays the GAL? (Bias concerns)
15:20 - Substituted judgment: Child therapy privilege evaluation
18:40 - Does confirmation bias exist in custody evaluations?
21:15 - What evaluators look for: Openness, cooperation, child-focus
24:50 - Documentation: When and how to provide materials
28:35 - Preparing for home visits and child observations
32:20 - The importance of routine and stability
36:10 - How long do evaluations take?<
🎯 "Mediation? With a NARCISSIST? Are you crazy?"
If that's your reaction, you're not alone. Most people in high-conflict divorce assume mediation is pointless when dealing with someone who has a personality disorder or active addiction.
But according to Liz Merrill—who spent 20 years married to a narcissist scientist before becoming a divorce mediator herself—it's worth trying. And here's why:
"A surprisingly high percentage of people who come with high conflict divorces get through the mediation process successfully without having to resort to litigation," Liz explains. "Because by the time they start mediating and working through and understanding what their options are, they kind of realize that they're not likely to get a better resolution by litigating."
Even if mediation doesn't result in settlement, you gain something invaluable: information.
"Keep your mouth shut and listen to what they're having to say and encourage them to talk," Liz advises for that crucial first session. "You will learn a lot about what's important to them, what they are thinking about, what their strategy might be. And that's all information that you can use in the future, even if you're not using it right now. And that's worth a lot."
This conversation reveals why mediation is always worth trying, how to prepare strategically, what you can realistically expect, and why sometimes the "difficult" partner actually comes to mediation thinking they're smarter than everyone else—which creates an opportunity.
What You'll Learn:
✅ Why high-conflict parties often come to mediation (thinking they can "bamboozle")
✅ The role of a CDFA (Certified Divorce Financial Analyst) in keeping things factual
✅ How facts, law, and math create a limited range of outcomes regardless of process
✅ Why it's "absolutely always worth trying" mediation (even if only costs a few thousand)
✅ The first session strategy: Keep your mouth shut and gather information
✅ What you can't mediate (hint: anything that happened in the past)
✅ How to prepare for mediation: agenda, goals, realistic expectations
✅ Why you shouldn't tell your mediator your "whole sad story"
✅ Strategic approach: Easy wins first to build goodwill vs. tackle hard stuff
✅ How to use what you learned in session one to inform session two
✅ Avoiding "barstool counsel" (Facebook groups, well-meaning friends)
✅ Second Saturday workshops: Free divorce education for women
✅ Why emotions are "on fire" and how professionals help manage them
✅ When Liz's daughters asked "Mom, can we get divorced?"
About Liz Merrill:
Liz Merrill, known as "the divorce whisperer," is a Colorado-based divorce mediator who spent 20 years in a marriage with a narcissist—a very successful research scientist considerably older than her. They had three daughters together and moved all over the world. "I thought I had to stay in this situation for my children and for my own safety and for my financial safety," Liz shares. When her daughters (all around mid-teens at the time) came to her and asked, "Mom, are we—can we get divorced? Why are we?" she realized she wasn't being brave by staying—she was scared. She filed that day. The divorce process was as horrible as she feared, requiring a loan to pay for it. She went from attorney to attorney trying to explain her situation, and "almost all of them were horrible to me. They were acting like I was the problem." This experience, combined with recognizing how badly the court system is set up for divorces (particularly for people in abusive marriages and domestic violence situations), caused her to shift careers midlife. She used her limited maintenance time to get mediation training and build her business. For seven years now, she's helped hundreds of couples navigate divorce, with her approach informed by lived experience of surviving high-conflict marriage. Her company is Open Space Mediat
"I finally got out of that toxic relationship! I'm never doing that again!"
Six months later: Same person, different body.
If this pattern sounds familiar, you're not alone—and according to trauma therapist Sherry Gaba, it's not your fault. But it is something you need to understand if you ever want to break free.
"Love addicts are in love with love," Sherry explains. "And when they don't have a relationship, it feels like they are in the ethers of emptiness. So they will often settle for less because they feel so empty."
That emptiness isn't weakness. It's not being "too needy" or "not strong enough." It's an attachment wound—often formed before you could even speak—that created a nervous system wired to associate chaos with love and safety with boredom.
The good news? Once you understand how trauma bonds form, how intermittent reinforcement hijacks your dopamine system, and why your body literally becomes addicted to emotional chaos, you can finally start rewiring your patterns.
What Makes This Conversation Essential:
🎯 Names the exact cycle ("same person, different body")
🎯 Explains WHY safe feels boring (nervous system conditioning)
🎯 Reveals early attachment wounds most people don't know they have
🎯 Shows how toxic partners "hook you in" from the beginning
🎯 Unpacks intermittent reinforcement = slot machine addiction
🎯 Provides daily practices for recognizing worth beyond people-pleasing
🎯 Shares Sherry's personal recovery journey (love addict → trauma therapist)
🎯 Explains different types of addiction (love vs. codependency vs. romance)
🎯 Offers specific 12-step program recommendations
Perfect For:
- Anyone who keeps attracting the same toxic partner
- People whose ex had addiction issues or personality disorders
- Those recovering from narcissistic abuse
- Anyone who feels empty without a romantic relationship
- People who find "stable" partners boring
- Those dealing with shame about their "bad picker"
- Anyone ready to understand the neuroscience of their patterns
- People who need permission to choose safety over excitement
- Those seeking community support that actually heals
About Sherry Gaba:
Sherry Gaba is living proof that understanding your patterns can transform your life. A psychotherapist and love addiction specialist, Sherry describes herself as "a love addict in recovery"—someone who experienced the emptiness, the people-pleasing, the turning herself "into a pretzel" to please unavailable partners. Her attachment wound? Being premature and spending her first three months in an incubator without maternal contact. "I was in an incubator. I did not get that first three months of attachment with my mom. So I had a lot of separation anxiety, attachment wounds." This early rupture, combined with an emotionally unavailable mother, set up lifelong patterns of seeking external validation. After being married to an alcoholic, Sherry shifted from working with addicts to working with families of addicts—recognizing her own codependency. Her specialty now encompasses love addiction, codependency, toxic relationships, and narcissistic abuse, using deep trauma therapy to help people connect internally rather than seeking external sources. Al-Anon literally changed the geography of her life—she moved from California to Florida because of connections made in recovery. Author of "Love Smacked," Sherry offers a free trauma quiz to help people understand the childhood roots of their relationship patterns.
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 - Introduction: Breaking the cycle of toxic relationships
01:28 - The link between domestic violence and love addiction
03:10 - Sherry's background: From addiction work to toxic relationships
04:54 - The early attachment wound: Premature birth and incubator effects
06:55 - Why you're attracted to what you know (even when it's harmful)
08:31 - Love at fir
🎯 "If I don't get validation from my partner (or - yikes - my ex), I can't function. I'm a mess unless I get that feedback, that positive reinforcement."
That's validation addiction, and according to Ralph Brewer, founder of Help for Men and author of five books including "The Dead Bedroom Fix" and "Rebuild: The Complete Guide," it's an epidemic affecting far more people than you'd think.
Most people assume this compulsive need for external validation is a "female thing"—the anxious, preoccupied partner always seeking reassurance. But Ralph works with thousands of men who fit this exact profile: codependent, anxiously attached, desperate for their partner's approval, and willing to tolerate almost anything as long as they get occasional positive reinforcement.
This conversation reveals the attachment dynamics behind toxic relationships, why men stay way too long hoping things will change, and what happens when men finally do show vulnerability—only to be punished for it.
What You'll Learn:
✅ What validation addiction actually is (and why it's different from just being "needy")
✅ Anxious vs. avoidant attachment: The relationship dance that creates misery
✅ Why most men seeking relationship help are codependent and anxiously attached
✅ The "toxic hopefulness" pattern: Why men keep saying "I'd take her back"
✅ How avoidant partners can appear almost narcissistic (but aren't quite)
✅ Why men don't seek help or open up about relationship problems
✅ The devastating pattern: Man shows vulnerability → Woman withdraws → Sex stops
✅ Sex as the "barometer" for relationship health (male perspective)
✅ What happens when a woman walks into a men's support group
✅ Why gender-specific support works when mixed groups don't
✅ The echo chamber problem: Getting validation instead of reality testing
✅ How the Brotherhood creates safe space for 1,400+ men
About Ralph Brewer:
Ralph Brewer is the founder of Help for Men and author of five books, including "The Dead Bedroom Fix" (which has sold hundreds of thousands of copies and brought roughly 80% of his membership) and "Rebuild: The Complete Guide." He runs a private membership community called the Brotherhood with over 1,400 men, offering discussion forums, live Zoom meetings, over 1,400 hours of audio content, coaching, courses, and in-person conferences. The organization just held its sixth annual conference and brings together men recovering from divorce, overcoming abusive relationships, and rebuilding their lives. Ralph has been creating content under the handle "Dad Starting Over" for over a decade, with some videos reaching millions of views.
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 - Introduction: Validation addiction isn't just a female thing
00:55 - Ralph's background: Help for Men, the Brotherhood, five books
02:58 - Defining validation addiction: Compulsive need for external approval
04:30 - Anxious vs. avoidant attachment styles in relationships
05:59 - Why men in our community seem more hopeful than women
07:48 - The "toxic hopefulness" pattern: "I'd take her back no matter what"
09:53 - Why men don't seek help or talk about relationship problems
11:40 - Society's message to men: You're weak if you can't handle her
13:55 - The shame of being controlled by someone "so much smaller than you"
16:22 - How abusive partners weaponize children to maintain control
18:54 - "Who you gonna go get, mister?" The emasculation tactic
19:52 - What happens when a woman walks into a men's group
21:18 - Sex as the barometer for relationship health (male perspective)
22:57 - The Dead Bedroom Fix: How Ralph's book built his community
23:16 - 70% buy lifetime membership: What that says about community value
24:00 - In-person conferences: Building real friendships beyond online support
25:00 - How to find Help for Men and the Brotherhood
CONNECT WITH RALPH BREWER:
🌐 W
🎯 "90% of families with special needs children end up divorcing. And when they do, those children become incredibly vulnerable to gatekeeping behaviors that can lead to parental alienation."
Ashish Joshi—one of our most frequently cited experts and a leading attorney specializing in family violence, parental alienation, and neurodivergent family cases—returns to explain the critical intersection between special needs children and custody battles.
If you have a child with autism, ADHD, dyslexia, or other neurodivergent conditions, this conversation could change how you approach your custody case and protect your relationship with your child.
What You'll Learn:
✅ Why special needs cases are exploding in family courts (and what's driving the increase)
✅ The 3 types of gatekeeping: Facilitative vs. Protective vs. Restrictive
✅ When "protecting" your special needs child crosses the line into alienation
✅ Implicit bias against neurodivergent parents in family court (and how to counter it)
✅ Why having ADHD or autism doesn't make you an unfit parent
✅ How your ex weaponizes your child's special needs against you
✅ The perfect storm: Over-involved parent + under-involved parent + autistic child
✅ Why family systems therapy is crucial for neurodivergent family cases
✅ What to do when therapy sessions keep getting canceled (consequences that actually work)
✅ Pre-alienation warning signs and early intervention strategies
✅ Why one judge managing your entire case makes all the difference
✅ The "Welcome Home Pluto" approach to psychoeducation for parents
About Ashish Joshi:
Ashish Joshi is an attorney whose practice focuses on cases involving family violence—including domestic violence, intimate partner violence, emotional abuse, coercive control, and parental alienation (which he describes as gatekeeping behaviors). His earlier background in criminal defense and family law led him into alienation work through issues of child suggestibility and forensic interviewing in child abuse cases. Over time, he's become a leading expert in cases involving neurodivergence—whether it's a parent on the autism spectrum, a child with severe ADHD, or other special needs situations. Ashish is frequently cited in our books and has become part of what we call the "dream team" of professionals who truly understand the most extreme divorce, separation, and custody situations.
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 - Introduction: The special needs + alienation connection
01:40 - Why 90% of special needs families divorce
04:43 - Ashish's niche: Family violence, alienation & neurodivergence
07:04 - Implicit bias: When courts assume neurodivergent parents are unfit
09:19 - The 3 types of gatekeeping (facilitative, protective, restrictive)
12:18 - Red flags of restrictive gatekeeping behavior
16:30 - The "perfect storm" in special needs custody cases
20:15 - Why family systems therapy is essential
24:50 - Enforcing therapy when the alienating parent won't comply
28:40 - Court orders without consequences = meaningless paper
33:34 - Creative solutions when teens refuse therapy
36:48 - Pre-alienation warning signs and early intervention
38:08 - The importance of psychoeducation (Welcome Home Pluto)
⚠️ This Interview Is Critical If:
- Your child has autism, ADHD, dyslexia, or other special needs
- Your ex is saying "the child only responds well to me"
- You've been accused of being unfit because of your own ADHD or neurodivergence
- Your ex is weaponizing your child's special needs in court
- You're the highly attuned parent worried about crossing into restrictive gatekeeping
- Therapy sessions keep getting canceled with no consequences
- You're seeing early warning signs of alienation but parents are still together
- You have court orders that aren't being followed
Key Concepts Explained:
🎯 "Just pretend they are dead."
That's what a psychiatrist told Steven Eichenblatt's biological father—advice he followed when he dropped seven-year-old Steven and his twin sister off one day and never came back.
Steven is now an attorney with 37 years of experience, a guardian ad litem who represents children pro bono in custody cases, and the author of "Pretend They Are Dead"—a riveting memoir about what it's actually like to be the alienated child.
This conversation offers a perspective rarely heard in discussions about parental alienation: what happens to that child decades later? What are the long-term effects? How do you survive and build a life after that kind of abandonment?
What You'll Learn:
✅ What it's like when your father disappears and you come home to a stranger who's now your "new dad"
✅ The Brady Bunch from Hell: Being thrown into a blended family with zero preparation
✅ How compartmentalizing helps kids survive—and haunts adults later
✅ Why Steven describes his emotional state as "the feeling of no feeling"
✅ The journey to reuniting with his biological father (spoiler: there's no fairy tale ending)
✅ What Steven sees as a guardian ad litem that parents don't understand
✅ Why anger in custody disputes makes everything worse for your kids
✅ The critical importance of not bad-mouthing the other parent (from someone who lived it)
✅ How to present yourself to a GAL if one is appointed in your case
✅ Why therapy and exercise are non-negotiable for parents in high-conflict divorce
About Steven Eichenblatt:
Steven Eichenblatt is a personal injury attorney in Orlando, Florida with 37 years of legal experience. He represents children pro bono as a guardian ad litem in custody cases—work he's passionate about because of his own childhood experience with family disruption and parental abandonment. He's been married three times, is a father of five, and openly discusses how his childhood alienation affected his ability to form intimate emotional connections in his adult relationships. His book "Pretend They Are Dead" chronicles his experience being abandoned by his biological father, adopted by an abusive stepfather, and his later journey to reconnect with the father who left.
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 - Introduction: Adult alienated child + attorney + guardian ad litem
01:57 - "Pretend they are dead": The title's devastating origin
03:05 - Steven's background: 37 years as attorney, guardian ad litem work
03:26 - What happened: Father disappeared, new man moved in overnight
05:11 - The Brady Bunch from Hell: Seven kids, no counseling, punitive rules
07:25 - Major disruptions all at once: New father, siblings, name change, move
09:21 - Compartmentalizing to survive: "The feeling of no feeling"
12:15 - Difference in impact between Steven and his twin sister
15:40 - The journey to finding his biological father (no fairy tale)
18:22 - Learning his father's side of the story (complex, no villains)
21:35 - Long-term effects: Struggles with intimacy and emotional connection
24:10 - What he sees as a guardian ad litem
27:45 - How to present to a GAL: Don't be angry, be organized
30:18 - The critical mistake parents make: Bad-mouthing the other parent
33:50 - Why the "victim role" doesn't serve you or your kids
37:24 - Practical advice: Therapy, exercise, managing anger
40:21 - Where to find Steven and his book
READ STEVEN'S BOOK:
📚 "Pretend They Are Dead" - Available on Amazon
🌐 Website: www.stevenscottiechenblatt.com
📧 Available for questions and lawyer referrals in Florida
BEEN THERE GOT OUT RESOURCES:
📚 Parental Alienation Course (Launching March 2026)
💬 Instagram: @been_there_got_out
🌐 Blog: https://beentheregotout.com/blog
ParentalAlienation #AdultAlienatedChild #GuardianAdLitem #ChildhoodTrauma
🎯 "Loss is loss. And we lose not only loved ones, but we lose a lot of different aspects in our life. Losing a child through disconnection... that is a really serious aspect of grief."
Jock Brocas—spiritual medium, psychologist researcher, ex-military, and grief expert—explains the unique grief of alienated parents during what he calls the "Bermuda Triangle" of holidays (Thanksgiving through New Year).
This conversation addresses the grief no one talks about: when your child is alive but you've lost them. When they've rejected you or been turned against you. When you're experiencing what Jock calls "living bereavement."
What You'll Learn:
✅ Why grief isn't the five stages you learned (and what it actually is)
✅ The "golden thread" that runs through every type of loss
✅ Why disconnection—not death—is at the heart of all grief
✅ The first grief people don't recognize: disconnection from yourself
✅ Why holidays amplify grief for parents separated from children
✅ How anger serves a purpose (and what to do with it)
✅ The power of journaling—written, video, or audio
✅ Why gratitude needs to go deeper than surface level
✅ How to know yourself when you've lost your center
✅ Practical tools for processing grief without closure
About Jock Brocas:
Jock Brocas is a spiritual medium, psychologist researcher (finishing Masters in Transformational Psychology), founding chief editor of Paranormal Daily News, and author of multiple internationally published books. With backgrounds in military service and monastery training, Jock brings unique perspective to grief work—combining spiritual wisdom with psychological research. He's spent over 25 years helping people process all types of loss, from battlefield deaths to relationship disconnection to parental alienation.
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 - Introduction: Grief expert meets Been There Got Out
02:42 - What makes this grief different from death or divorce
04:48 - Jock's background: Medium, psychologist, military
09:01 - Why the "stages of grief" are wrong
15:30 - The Bermuda Triangle: Holidays and alienated parents
20:45 - Disconnection as the heart of all grief
27:15 - Anger's purpose and how to channel it
33:40 - Journaling as cathartic practice
38:20 - Video and audio journaling techniques
42:35 - The first grief: Disconnection from yourself
44:07 - Understanding gratitude beyond surface level
47:18 - Jock's upcoming grief course
48:40 - Final thoughts on transformation
CONNECT WITH JOCK BROCAS:
🌐 Website: https://JockBrocas.com
📱 Instagram: @jockbrocas
📰 Paranormal Daily News (Founding Chief Editor)
📚 Multiple Published Books on Spirituality & Grief
BEEN THERE GOT OUT RESOURCES:
📚 Parental Alienation Course (March 2026): [Link]
💬 Instagram: @been_there_got_out
🌐 Blog: https://beentheregotout.com/blog
Grief #ParentalAlienation #AmbiguousLoss #LivingBereavement #HolidayGrief #Disconnection #GriefTherapy #SpiritualMedium #ChildRejection #HolidaysWithoutKids
🎯 "I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. It was all because of what I was doing—what we were doing—to my kids."
If that sounds familiar, this conversation is for you.
Jill Barnett Kaufman is a licensed therapist, divorce coach, certified mediator, and co-parenting expert who's been helping parents since the 90s. But she's also been exactly where you are—terrified that divorce would ruin her children's lives.
Now, years later, with thriving adult children (including a middle child who recently told her she finally understands what a healthy relationship looks like), Jill shares what actually protects kids during high-conflict divorce—and why your fear that they'll be ruined is probably wrong.
What You'll Learn:
✅ Signs your child is struggling vs. normal adjustment to divorce
✅ Why anxiety and depression in kids look different than you'd expect
✅ What regression actually means (it's not just bedwetting)
✅ Why your ex will treat your child differently than they treated you
✅ How to respond when your ex badmouths you to the kids
✅ The power children have that spouses don't (and why this matters)
✅ Parallel parenting vs. co-parenting: When to accept reality
✅ Communication strategies when every notification triggers your PTSD
✅ Why using ChatGPT for emails usually backfires (and what to do instead)
✅ The one truth that changed Jill's perspective: Staying in an unhealthy marriage teaches kids THAT is what relationships look like
About Jill Barnett Kaufman: Jill is a licensed therapist, divorce coach, and certified mediator who's specialized in parenting and co-parenting since the 1990s. She runs a large Facebook community for people going through separation and divorce and offers group coaching, one-on-one support, an online course, and a book. Most importantly, she's lived it—she went through her own high-conflict divorce when her son was 12, experiencing the same terror about her children's futures that she now helps other parents navigate.
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 - Introduction: Will my kids be okay?
01:44 - Signs your child is struggling with divorce stress
03:10 - What regression looks like (beyond bedwetting)
04:47 - Anxiety and depression in children: What to watch for
06:16 - When temporary symptoms become concerning
08:39 - Why your ex will treat your child differently than you
09:52 - The power kids have that you didn't as a spouse
11:15 - How to respond when your ex badmouths you
13:40 - Teaching kids to set boundaries (without coaching them)
15:20 - The importance of listening more than talking
17:36 - Why parents shouldn't script kids' responses
19:00 - Parallel parenting vs. co-parenting reality
19:58 - Communication when every notification triggers PTSD
20:45 - Common communication mistakes (even with ChatGPT)
22:35 - The truth about staying "for the kids"
24:25 - Why kids feel responsible when you're struggling
25:27 - How to find Jill and her community
CONNECT WITH JILL BARNETT KAUFMAN:
🌐 Website: https://DivorceCoachJill.com
📧 Email: info@DivorceCoachJill.com
👥 Facebook: Separation and Divorce Support Community
📚 Book, Online Course, and Group Coaching available
BEEN THERE GOT OUT RESOURCES:
📚 Strategic Communication Course: https://programs.beentheregotout.com/strategic-communication
💬 Instagram: @been_there_got_out
🌐 Blog: https://beentheregotout.com/blog
KidsAndDivorce #HighConflictDivorce #ParallelParenting #DivorceCoach #HealthyParent #CoParenting #AnxiousKids #DivorceAdvice #ParentingAfterDivorce
🎯 If divorce paperwork makes you want to crawl under your desk and never come out, you're not alone—and you're not broken.
Jorie Houlihan, a certified life coach specializing in ADHD (and diagnosed herself at age 49), explains why so many people in high-conflict divorce situations struggle with the organizational demands—and what actually helps.
Even if you don't have an ADHD diagnosis, the strategies Jorie shares work for anyone dealing with overwhelm, decision fatigue, and the paralyzing stress of legal deadlines!
What You'll Learn:
✅ Why ADHD diagnoses are surging (especially for women) and what it actually looks like
✅ The subtle signs of ADHD that get dismissed as "character flaws"
✅ Why divorce paperwork triggers paralysis and decision fatigue
✅ How to break overwhelming tasks into manageable chunks (the "3 questions at a time" method)
✅ Body doubling: The weird productivity hack that actually works
✅ Why analog tools (paper lists, physical timers) outperform digital for many people
✅ Time blindness and how to work with it (not against it)
✅ Celebrating small wins when you don't have a natural sense of accomplishment
✅ Why "I did my best" isn't always enough—and what to do instead
About Jorie Houlihan:
Jorie is a certified life coach who specializes in working with women diagnosed later in life with ADHD. After being diagnosed herself at age 49—30 years after first trying to talk to a doctor about it—Jorie now helps clients understand how their brains work, put guardrails around struggles, and recognize their strengths. She calls herself "your guide for the dopamine deprived" and hosts the podcast "ADHD and... with Jorie Houlihan."
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 - Introduction: ADHD and the shame cycle
02:25 - Why ADHD diagnoses are increasing (it's not what you think)
04:49 - The three presentations of ADHD and subtle signs
07:19 - ADHD in divorce: Paralysis with paperwork and deadlines
10:38 - The "3 questions at a time" method for overwhelming tasks
13:25 - Externalizing thoughts: Why writing everything down matters
16:42 - Decision fatigue and simplifying choices
19:50 - Breaking tasks into tiny steps (and why that's not "cheating")
23:15 - The dopamine crisis and shame cycle
26:40 - Body doubling: The productivity hack that sounds weird but works
29:30 - Analog vs. digital: Why paper lists and physical clocks help
33:12 - Celebrating wins when accomplishment doesn't come naturally
35:31 - ADHD strengths: Creativity, pattern recognition, empathy
37:57 - How to find Jorie Houlihan
CONNECT WITH JORIE HOULIHAN:
🌐 Website: https://joriehoulihan.com
📱 Instagram: @joriehoulihan
💼 LinkedIn: Jorie Houlihan
🎙️ Podcast: "ADHD and... with Jorie Houlihan" (available everywhere)
BEEN THERE GOT OUT RESOURCES:
📚 Strategic Communication Course: https://programs.beentheregotout.com/strategic-communication
💬 Instagram: @been_there_got_out
🌐 Blog: https://beentheregotout.com/blog
🎯 If your child is drowning in anxiety from family stress and you're tired of adding more therapy appointments, this conversation will open new possibilities.
Brian Barry, Program Manager at Clay Art Center in Port Chester, NY, explains why anxious kids don't need fancy tools or expensive art supplies—they just need curiosity, enthusiasm, and a chance to get their hands messy.
Lisa visits the Clay Art Center to explore how creative activities help children process stress without the pressure to talk about their feelings—perfect for kids dealing with divorce, custody transitions, or family conflict.
What You'll Learn:
✅ Why anxious kids benefit from creative outlets (not more talk therapy)
✅ How clay's messy nature forces kids off their phones and into the present
✅ The misconception that art requires talent or expensive supplies
✅ Why "working with your hands" helps process emotions kids can't verbalize
✅ How failure in ceramics teaches resilience (things explode, break, or don't turn out—and that's okay)
✅ The importance of NOT forcing kids to talk about feelings during creative activities
✅ How digging wild clay teaches science, math, and perseverance
✅ Why parents should work alongside their kids (without pressuring performance)
✅ Alternatives if you don't have a local art center (air-dried clay, local schools, community programs)
About Brian Barry:
Brian Barry is the Program Manager at Clay Art Center in Port Chester, NY, where he coordinates community arts programs for children and adults. Before joining Clay Art Center, Brian worked at an educational nonprofit providing free tutoring for students in grades 2-12. Despite having zero ceramics experience when he started, Brian has learned firsthand how accessible and transformative working with clay can be—no prior experience or fancy tools required.
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 - Introduction: Art activities for anxious children
00:27 - Brian introduces himself and Clay Art Center
02:06 - Misconceptions about art and who it's "for"
04:07 - You don't need experience, skills, or expensive supplies
04:58 - Digging wild clay: Kids learn from start to finish
06:09 - The science behind clay (testing, absorption rates, shrinkage)
07:38 - Math, science, and art working together
09:15 - How clay helps anxious kids process emotions
10:30 - Technology addiction and why clay forces presence
11:53 - Learning resilience through failure (things explode and break)
13:16 - Student transformation stories: Confidence and growth
14:52 - Getting kids out of virtual worlds and into creative spaces
16:46 - The importance of joy (not performance or pressure)
18:03 - Why forcing kids to talk about feelings can backfire
19:00 - Alternatives if you don't have a local art center
CLAY ART CENTER:
📍 Port Chester, NY
🌐 Website: [Clay Art Center website]
📱 Instagram: [Clay Art Center Instagram]
BEEN THERE GOT OUT RESOURCES:
📚 Strategic Communication Course: https://programs.beentheregotout.com/strategic-communication
💬 Instagram: @been_there_got_out
🌐 Blog: https://beentheregotout.com/blog
When a child is turned against a loving parent, it can feel permanent, especially once that child is grown. Filmmaker Ginger Gentile, who exposed this in her documentary Erasing Family, joins Lisa with a message a lot of alienated parents have stopped letting themselves believe: it is not too late.
After making the film, Ginger started helping families reunite directly. What she's learned is often the opposite of what the court fight teaches you. The instinct is to prove your case and win the big victory. The thing that works is quieter: keep the door open, keep encouraging your child, and stop making reconnection about who was right. She and Lisa talk through what reunification actually looks like, why it happens fast for some and slowly for others, and how to stay steady in the waiting.
✅ WHAT YOU'LL LEARN
✅ Why reconnection is possible even after years of estrangement
✅ What the parents who actually reunited did differently
✅ Why "winning the argument" tends to push an alienated child further away
✅ How to keep the door open without pressuring your child
✅ What real reunification looks like, start to finish
✅ Why some families reconnect fast and others take much longer
✅ The "one big victory" trap, and what to aim for instead
✅ How to stay steady while you wait for a child to come back
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS (+1:00 for the bumper)
0:00 Intro
1:00 From "Erasing Family" to reversing alienation
6:28 What the film taught her about reunification
11:30 The first alienation cases she worked
16:30 Blessing your child instead of fighting
21:30 What reunification actually looks like
26:31 Why some kids come back fast, others slowly
36:34 The "one big victory" trap
41:36 Where to find Ginger
CTA (spoken): Trying to reconnect with a child who's been turned against you? Book a free discovery call at beentheregotout.com.
Books: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You — https://www.amazon.com/Been-There-Got-Out-Against/dp/1967674183 · Been There Got Out — https://www.amazon.com/Been-There-Got-Relationships-Circumstances/dp/194627495X/
Tags: parental alienation, reversing parental alienation, ginger gentile, erasing family, reunification, estrangement, alienated parent, high conflict divorce
Danny Karon calls it legal wellness: the upkeep that keeps a small legal problem from turning into a large one. He frames it as the neglected third bucket alongside emotional and financial wellness, and argues that when your legal health falls apart, it takes your peace of mind and your bank account with it.
Danny Karon is a consumer-protection and class-action attorney based in Cleveland, Ohio, who has taught complex litigation at the law-school level and wrote a guide to legal wellness for people who never thought the law was for them. This is a general access-to-justice conversation rather than a family-law episode, so his stories come from small claims and consumer cases, and Lisa connects them to the family-court audience.
In this episode, Karon and Lisa cover why leaning on AI for legal work is dangerous, given the hallucinated citations that have gotten lawyers fined, and what it actually takes to represent yourself: knowing what to file, how to serve the other side, and when to lean on the clerk of courts for help with the mechanics. He talks about dressing and behaving in a way the court takes seriously, reading the room, and letting go of the dramatic-courtroom fantasy that sets people up to be disappointed.
He closes on legal wellness as prevention: read your contracts, notice the arbitration clauses and liability waivers you cannot change, and adjust your behavior around them. The message he keeps returning to is empowerment through education, doing what you can for yourself and hiring a lawyer only when you truly need one.
As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
🎓 What you'll learn
- Why outsourcing legal work to AI is risky: invented case citations, and lawyers being sanctioned
- Representing yourself means being held to the same rules of procedure and evidence as any attorney
- Getting the mechanics right: what to file, how to style it, and how to serve the other side
- Why the clerk of courts can be a real ally, especially in small claims
- Why dress and demeanor matter: look the part, because the judge does
- Reading the room: watch the judge, and know when to stop talking
- Legal wellness as prevention: read your contracts, arbitration clauses, and waivers before signing
- The through-line: empowerment through education, and hiring a lawyer only when you must
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 When the system meant to help makes things worse
3:00 Meet Danny Karon: Cleveland lawyer and professor
5:00 Why AI is a bad idea in law
7:00 Representing yourself: same rules apply
8:00 Getting your filings and service right
9:30 The small-claims story: preparation shows
11:00 What to wear, and looking the part
15:00 No Perry Mason moments: courtroom reality
18:00 Read the rules, and make the clerk your ally
21:00 Legal wellness: reading the contracts you sign
Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Danny Karon at Your Lovable Lawyer: https://yourlovablelawyer.com/
About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.
Stacy Schaffer works with the child nobody is worried about. She calls them shiny kids: succeeding, organized, often perfectionist, and carrying more than the sibling whose behavior is getting all the adult attention.
Stacy is a licensed professional counselor in Colorado, licensed in Texas as well, who specializes in grief work and in children caught in parental conflict. This conversation picks up mid-thread after a dropped connection, and it moves fast through the things she hears from kids that their parents never do.
First is money. Kids of divorce know what the case costs, and Stacy has children telling her they feel guilty for having an expensive interest, or deciding not to ask for anything at the holidays. In one family a parent brings up the legal bills whenever a chore goes undone. Then there is magical thinking, which is the reason a young child concludes the divorce is their fault. Believing something is wrong with them is easier than believing the adults have lost control of the world, and Stacy points to a children's book where a kid asks whether the divorce happened because of the chocolate pudding on the wall.
Her working principle is that if power is going to be taken from a child, she is going to find them some. That means talking about what they do control, which is their thoughts, their reactions, and how much of their own time they waste being miserable. One of her clients described being in the middle of a tug of war, and she asked him what it would be like not to pick up the rope. The tool she builds with them is a comfort kit, assembled around the five senses so it works in both houses and needs nobody's approval: scent, because it reaches the brain fastest, fabric swatches that kids reach for more than any purchased fidget, fidgets that make no noise rather than the ones that irritate a whole classroom, and notes written ahead of time by the parent they are away from. She closes on the child who dislikes one house, and why distraction counts as a coping skill when the countdown is the situation.
As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
🎓 What you'll learn
- The shiny kid: why the child performing well may be the one carrying more
- How much kids know about what the divorce is costing, and the guilt it creates
- Magical thinking, and why a young child concludes the divorce is their fault
- The tug-of-war reframe: what happens when a child does not pick up the rope
- How to build a comfort kit around the five senses that travels between houses
- Why scent works fastest, and why fabric beats the expensive fidgets
- What to tell a child counting down the days at a house they do not want to be in
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 The shiny kid: doing fine on the outside, struggling underneath
3:00 Kids who feel guilty about what the divorce is costing
4:00 Locus of control, and the child who would not pick up the rope
5:00 Magical thinking, and why kids decide it is their fault
7:00 Giving a child agency when they have almost none
8:00 Building a comfort kit around the five senses
10:00 Scent, texture, fidgets, and notes from the other house
14:00 The house they dislike, and distraction as a coping skill
16:00 Where to find Stacy
Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Stacy Schaffer, MA, LPC: https://stacyschaffer.com/
🔗 Stacy Schaffer on Instagram (@hoperestored): https://www.instagram.com/hoperestored/
About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.
Four of the seven have almost nothing to do with the relationship. That is the part Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky wanted to get to in this conversation, because the people who arrive at her office blaming themselves are usually the ones whose partner's reasons were never about them in the first place.
Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky, who goes by Liz, is a marriage and family therapist running a clinic with offices in Virginia Beach and Fairfax, Virginia, where she also trains other therapists in emotionally focused couples counseling. She is licensed across roughly seven states, which is a consequence of military life. She is a military spouse from a dual-military family, her husband was deployed while this was recorded, and a large part of her caseload is military couples, which shapes much of what she has seen. This is her second appearance here, and she hosts a podcast on communication in military relationships.
The seven types come from published work by Scott Woolley, an international trainer in emotionally focused therapy. Three of them are relational. The protest or revenge affair, where each partner answers the other, which Liz watched run back and forth for seventeen years in a couple who were still working to repair it. The come-and-get-me affair, which is really about manufacturing jealousy or testing whether the love holds, and which she sees more often early in a relationship than late. And the burned-out exit affair, a way of ending a marriage without having to say the words. She and Lisa also cover what tends to come first: either conflict that spirals over nothing, or a couple who have stopped talking altogether in order to avoid it.
The other four sit with the individual. Escaping life stress into romance, the version that can run for years and sometimes produces two households, which Liz says people rarely manage to end, because there is genuine attachment and loyalty on both sides. The hedge fund affair, where somebody braced for abandonment keeps a second person in reserve. The power player affair, which is about control rather than attachment and tends to look like a series of emotionally distant encounters, and which Lisa recognizes instantly from this audience. And the compulsive affair, which behaves like an addiction, is usually about numbing anxiety, and often traces back to bullying or abuse in childhood. Liz is clear about recovery: the individual types take considerably longer than a relational repair, growth should be visible along the way, and none of the context converts a choice into an accident.
As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
🎓 What you'll learn
- The seven types of affairs, and what each one is actually driven by
- Why four of the seven have little to do with the state of the relationship
- The protest affair, the come-and-get-me affair, and the burned-out exit affair
- What tends to precede a relational affair, and why "we're roommates" is one signal
- The escape affair, and why attachment on both sides makes it so hard to end
- The power player affair: control rather than romance, and where it comes from
- Why the compulsive affair behaves like an addiction, and what recovery involves
- Why context can make a choice easier and never makes it an accident
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 Why the seven types matter when you're busy blaming yourself
3:00 Liz's background, and what deployment does to a marriage
8:00 The protest or revenge affair
10:00 The come-and-get-me affair
12:00 The burned-out exit affair, and the signs that come before
17:00 Escaping life stress into romance, and the two-household version
22:00 The hedge fund affair
23:30 The power player affair, and where it comes from
28:00 The compulsive affair, and why it works like an addiction
35:00 Is there hope, and why it is still a choice
Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky at Communicate & Connect: https://communicateandconnect.com/
About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.
Confidence gets talked about as a feeling. Paul Roseberry treats it as information. His argument in this conversation is that confidence is really self-awareness, and that until you can say plainly what you bring to a relationship, you have no way to judge whether the one you are in is worth staying in.
Paul Roseberry is a relationship coach based in Los Angeles who works with both men and women, mostly on romantic relationships, and who also performs as a comedian. He teaches what he calls the security method, built on a definition of security as the ability to protect something valuable. He is open about where the work comes from: he grew up overweight and poor, he stuttered, he got picked on, and he says he has done everything the wrong way at least twice. Lisa admits at the top of the episode that she nearly passed on him, because healthy-relationship coaching sounded like the wrong fit for a community dealing with abusive exes, and then changed her mind after they talked.
In this episode, Paul lays out the difference between an interest-based relationship and a need-based one, and why so many people stay in relationships that are serving a purpose other than the relationship. He walks through his fives exercise, a running list you keep in your notes app over weeks rather than finishing in ten minutes. He describes what he calls the short game, the day-to-day communication that decides whether two people actually work, and why that matters more than the first impression. He and Lisa also talk about how popular culture sells jealousy and reconciliation as proof of love, and what that teaches people who never saw anything healthier.
The part Lisa keeps coming back to is his line about keeping the ability to walk away. He is careful to say it is not a threat and not a dark way to live. It is the opposite: if you know you could leave, you have chosen the person on purpose, and you may well never need to.
As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
🎓 What you'll learn
- Why fear of starting over keeps people in relationships they have already given up on
- The fives: a running list of what you bring, what you want, and what makes you good company
- Interest-based versus need-based relationships, and how to tell which one you are in
- Why someone who has never seen a healthy relationship does not go looking for one
- How "nobody else would put up with you" works as a control tactic
- Flipping the script: doing the assessing instead of waiting to be assessed
- The short game, and why day-to-day communication decides more than first impressions
- Why keeping the ability to leave usually means you never have to use it
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 Confidence as self-awareness, and where people skip a step
3:00 The security method: interest-based, not need-based
5:00 Staying because the relationship serves some other purpose
7:00 The fives, and what you bring to the table
9:00 When you have never seen a healthy relationship up close
11:00 A whole half instead of a half whole
13:00 Lisa's list, and twenty years of not matching it
15:00 Pop culture, jealousy, and mistaking conflict for closeness
19:00 When is it time to leave?
21:00 Flipping the script, and keeping the ability to walk away
26:00 Where to find Paul
Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Paul Roseberry: https://paulroseberry.com
About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.
Olaolu Ogunyemi grabbed his kids by the arm every time they wandered toward the street without looking, and he will tell you what that bought him. Compliance in the moment, and a memory of dad grabbing them. Not one child who understood why you look both ways. He uses it to make a distinction that runs through the whole conversation, between discipline, whose root is teaching, and getting someone to do what you said.
Our guest this episode is Olaolu Ogunyemi, a US Marine officer, leadership speaker, children's book author, and the founder of Parent-Child Connect, which builds resources for the parents, teachers, mentors, coaches, and caregivers around a child. He grew up in Louisiana; his father immigrated from Nigeria for college. He has a wife and three children spread across a decade, and a family large enough that he has lost exact count of his nieces and nephews. He graduated college at twenty-two already married with a three-year-old, which is roughly how he describes his qualifications at the time.
His argument is that no parent does this alone. He was, in his own word, a knucklehead: insecure, overweight, teased for his name, and drawn to whichever crowd would take him. His parents were saying the right things the whole time. It took coaches and mentors saying the same things in a different register before any of it landed. That is why he wants a parent in a hard custody situation to resist the instinct to close the circle.
He and Lisa work through what to do when a child is acting out, starting with the root cause rather than the obvious culprit, and with the question of what the child is trying to be accepted for. They talk about anxious kids growing up inside an information stream their parents never had, and why telling them to unplug is not a plan. Olaolu describes the wall of emotion words he printed out, and the day his six-year-old used it to say she was disappointed in a friend, and then went and told the friend. He closes on his children's book Crow from the Shadow, where the shadow is any person, place, or thing that tells you what you cannot be.
As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
🎓 What you'll learn
- Why no parent can be everything to a child, and why other trusted adults matter more here
- Finding the root cause of a child acting out instead of the obvious explanation
- Acceptance: what your child is trying to be accepted for, and whether home supplies it
- Anxious kids in an information stream we never grew up with, and why unplugging is not a plan
- Discipline versus compliance, and why the root of the word is teaching
- Modeling first: why a child copies what you do and not what you tell them
- The emotion board that gives a child words beyond happy, mad, and sad
- Preparing a child for the person who hears them out and does not care
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 Why other adults matter, and meeting Olaolu Ogunyemi
5:00 Being a knucklehead, and the people who said it differently
7:00 Finding the root cause instead of the obvious answer
9:00 Acceptance, and what a child is trying to be accepted for
11:00 Anxious kids in a world we did not grow up in
13:00 Discipline vs compliance, and crossing the street
17:00 Empathy, modeling, and emotional intelligence
19:00 The emotion board, and a six-year-old who said "disappointed"
21:00 Preparing kids for the person who does not care
23:00 Crow from the Shadow, Lead Last, and where to find Olaolu
Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Olaolu Ogunyemi at Parent-Child Connect: https://parent-child-connect.com/
About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.
Ron Platt spent years in insurance, business, and real estate, and time as a foster parent, before he built a membership group aimed squarely at single and divorced families. He argues that when you search for help with a divorce, you scroll past pages of attorneys before you reach anything that actually supports the family going through it.
Ron Platt is the co-founder of NASDF, the National Association for Single and Divorced Families. He describes it as a not-for-profit membership association built on the model people know from AARP: you join, and a single organization gives you access to a pooled set of products, services, discounts, and support instead of hunting for each one on your own.
In this episode, Platt lays out what the membership is designed to bundle, including mental-health sessions, real-estate referral rebates, and career re-entry help for a parent who stepped out of the workforce. He focuses on the piece he built first, an insurance product he calls Support Insured, meant to keep child support or alimony flowing if the paying parent dies, becomes disabled, or loses their income involuntarily. He distinguishes that from a parent who simply refuses to pay, which he says is already handled by the courts and the IRS.
This is more of a product overview than a strategy conversation, so the details here are Ron's own account of what his organization offers. If it sounds useful for your situation, the current terms and coverage are on the NASDF site.
As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
🎓 What you'll learn
- What a membership-association model for single and divorced families is trying to bundle
- The idea behind Support Insured: continuing support if a paying parent dies, is disabled, or loses income
- The line Ron draws between involuntary non-payment and a parent who simply won't pay
- How a group discount model (his "Costco" framing) is meant to lower costs at scale
- Where mental-health sessions, realtor rebates, and career help fit into the membership
- Why a lower-earning spouse can fall into a gap: too much income for free help, too little for a retainer
⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 How "insurance for divorce" came up
1:45 What NASDF is: the AARP model
3:00 Mental-health and daycare benefits
3:40 Real-estate referral rebates for members
5:00 Career help for a returning stay-at-home parent
6:30 The retainer gap, and a planned legal-costs card
7:40 Support Insured, explained
11:40 Where to find NASDF, and the foster-care mission
Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 NASDF, the National Association for Single and Divorced Families: https://www.nasdf.org/
About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.
Could personality disorders be more flexible than we think? Discover surprising insights with psychotherapist Marissa De Sa as she dismantles the misconception that personality disorders are unchangeable. Marissa's expertise in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) reveals how our environments and early experiences shape these conditions, providing a pathway to healing and growth. You'll hear about the transformative potential of DBT beyond its roots in treating borderline personality disorder, offering hope for managing a wide range of disorders including narcissistic and obsessive-compulsive types.
Marissa takes us on a journey through the structured and life-changing processes of DBT, where motivation, commitment, and dialectics play crucial roles. Dive into the core elements of DBT that help clients cultivate a "wise mind" for managing intense emotions and avoiding impulsive decisions. Through individual therapy and skills groups, clients master mindfulness, interpersonal effectiveness, distress tolerance, and emotion regulation, showcasing promising outcomes in therapy. Plus, discover the visible indicators of success that mark a client's progress and transformation.
We also tackle high-conflict situations with practical strategies for effective communication. Learn how DBT's DEAR MAN technique can defuse defensiveness and reduce emotional reactivity, especially in sensitive interactions involving personality disorders or addiction. Explore powerful communication and negotiation tactics, such as those from David Burns' five secrets of effective communication, that offer solutions for high-conflict family dynamics. As we conclude, Marissa emphasizes the significance of hope and the continued conversation around mental well-being, inviting you to stay connected through the resources available at the Cognitive and Behavioral Care Center.
Join us for a compelling discussion with Alexa Sasha, a dedicated narcissistic abuse healer and results coach, as we explore the nuances of emotional and narcissistic abuse and the path to healing. Alexa shares her unique journey from high school special education teacher to a coach focused on helping individuals actualize their dreams. Her background in education has equipped her with the skills to break down complex concepts and advocate for those healing from trauma. Alexa explains the profound impact of narcissistic and emotional abuse, highlighting how it can be more damaging than physical abuse due to its insidious effects on self-esteem, intuition, and even finances.
In this episode, we also tackle the challenges of breaking free from toxic cycles, especially when going "no contact" isn't an option. Alexa emphasizes the importance of holistic support that addresses mental, physical, and spiritual needs, recommending practices like breathwork and trauma release exercises. We underscore the role of creativity in healing, with personal stories about rediscovering joy and empowerment through art. Additionally, Alexa introduces her "Lunch, Learn and Heals" workshops, designed to help women navigate the aftermath of toxic relationships with support, connection, and a touch of joy. Whether you're seeking healing or looking to support others, this episode offers valuable insights and resources for anyone on a journey to recovery.
Renowned Los Angeles private investigator Ken Childs takes us inside the world of PI work, from tracking a sneaky cat's midnight escapades to unraveling tangled webs of insurance fraud. Ken's journey began with aspirations in law enforcement, but he found his true calling in the nuanced world of private investigation, where every case is a puzzle and "instant justice" is a rewarding reality. Whether it’s navigating emotionally charged divorces or conducting meticulous evidence gathering, Ken's story is one of empathy, skill, and a relentless pursuit of the truth.
We also dig into the art of fraud detection, where confidence and a keen eye are crucial—whether you're working in Beverly Hills or a less affluent area. Ken draws us into the heart of complex insurance fraud cases, sharing anecdotes from his career, including a daunting six-year case that's now headed to court. Hear Ken's invaluable advice for selecting the right attorney—one who listens and fights for you—and learn how to document assets to counteract financial deceit during divorces. This episode doesn't just entertain with intriguing stories; it equips listeners with practical insights for navigating the tricky waters of legal and personal affairs.
Join us for an intriguing discussion with Doug Fifer, a former Alaskan police officer and expert negotiator, as we explore the complexities of Alaska's unique environment and its impact on crime. With breathtaking landscapes that mask a darker reality, Doug shares his insights into the high rates of domestic violence and serial killings that plague the state. Discover how isolation, harsh weather, and substance abuse contribute to these issues and learn about the peculiar gender ratio in Alaska and its implications for relationships. Doug also recounts his journey from growing up in the small town of Homer to a 25-year career with the Anchorage Police Department.
Listen in as Doug, a seasoned law enforcement officer, shares his invaluable experience in negotiating with difficult individuals. Negotiation skills, Doug explains, are essential not only in law enforcement but also in everyday life, such as mediating custody battles. He reveals key strategies like building rapport and identifying common interests, while emphasizing the importance of honesty to maintain trust and safety in high-stakes scenarios. This conversation sheds light on the mental and physical demands of hostage negotiations, highlighting techniques that can be universally applied to daily interactions.
Our conversation takes a closer look at managing emotions during domestic violence cases, particularly in Alaska, where such incidents are prevalent. Doug discusses the challenges officers face and strategies for victims to protect themselves, including the potential role of AI in verifying evidence. He emphasizes the importance of de-escalating situations to prevent further violence and shares a humorous story from his time as a hostage negotiator. As we wrap up, Doug talks about the significance of trusting your instincts for personal safety, particularly in dangerous situations, and introduces his book "Fifty Shades of True Crime," which offers an engaging look into criminal cases from his perspective as a law enforcement officer.
IFS therapist Jane Frumberg joins us on this episode to unravel the profound world of Internal Family Systems Therapy. Jane, who leads Light Within Therapy, distinguishes between family systems therapy and reunification therapy, emphasizing the unique approach of IFS in helping individuals connect with their inner parts, particularly those influenced by trauma. Unlike traditional family systems therapy, which analyzes family roles and dynamics, and reunification therapy, which rebuilds relationships between estranged parents and children, IFS offers a deeply personal exploration. We also tackle the complicated terrain of domestic violence cases, where participating together in therapy may not be advisable.
We navigate the challenging waters of high-conflict parenting, focusing on how child therapists play a crucial role in supporting children embroiled in parental disputes. When one parent isn’t willing to participate, Jane stresses the power of a steadfast and consistent presence from the engaged parent, offering hope even when a child has been turned against them. Our conversation with Jane is filled with valuable insights and a shared eagerness for future collaborations. We close with gratitude for her expertise, encouraging listeners to remain hopeful and resilient in the face of familial challenges.
Join us for a compelling discussion as we welcome Agape Garcia, the inspiring founder of Confronting Domestic Violence. Agape shares her harrowing yet empowering journey from surviving a double attempted homicide and a life-threatening car accident to establishing a nonprofit dedicated to aiding victims of domestic violence. Listen in as she reveals the multifaceted nature of abuse, highlighting not just physical, but also financial and economic abuse, and the significant hurdles victims encounter when seeking help. Agape's personal story of making over 800 calls to find support underscores the critical role domestic violence advocates play in navigating these challenges. Her organization provides real-time resources and relocation assistance to families in urgent need of safety.
We also explore the pervasive impact of domestic violence in the workplace, an often-overlooked aspect that affects both individuals and their professional environments. The episode sheds light on the hidden nature of many cases, exacerbated by stigma and the complexities involved when children are present. Agape discusses the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic, which left many survivors without refuge, and emphasizes the potential risks posed by abusers infiltrating workspaces. By sharing these insights, we aim to raise awareness about the extensive repercussions of domestic violence, from reduced productivity to the potential dangers in work environments.
Finally, we highlight the pioneering efforts in California to address domestic violence in the workplace, including the implementation of coercive control laws and workplace violence prevention measures. Discover the significance of SB 553, which mandates workplace violence prevention plans, and the role of human resources in aligning with these regulations. We express our gratitude to Agape for her dedication and look forward to future collaborations that can create a ripple effect of positive change across the nation. This episode is filled with hope and excitement as we discuss fresh starts, new beginnings, and the ongoing efforts to build stronger support networks for victims of domestic violence.
Discover why hiring a "pit bull" attorney might not be the victory ticket you think it is. Join us and our guest, seasoned Connecticut attorney Renee Bauer, as we unravel the misconceptions fueled by pop culture's courtroom drama narrative. We promise to shed light on the importance of realistic expectations and how finding a balanced attorney can guide you to envision a life beyond the legal fray. Don't let the allure of vengeance mislead you down a path that could prolong the turmoil rather than resolve it.
High-achieving individuals often face unique hurdles when domestic violence seeps into their lives, burdened by societal expectations and the fear of shattering their public personas. Through personal narratives, we explore the silent struggles of maintaining professional success while enduring abuse, challenging the stereotypes that confine domestic violence to certain socioeconomic backgrounds. With Renee's valuable insights, we delve into the pitfalls of aggressive legal representation and the necessity of choosing an attorney who aligns with your long-term goals.
Effective communication with your lawyer and strategic mediation can transform the course of your legal journey. We discuss the importance of fostering a strong lawyer-client relationship, avoiding past unhealthy patterns, and maintaining strategic oversight of your case. Discover how mediation can offer a more controlled, tailored resolution for families, often saving time and money compared to drawn-out court battles. From choosing the right attorney to the benefits of a detailed parenting plan, we explore how these strategies can lead to a more positive outcome in high-conflict divorces.
Join us for an insightful conversation with Kristin Cogan, a seasoned therapist and coach, as we explore the critical coping skills every overwhelmed mom needs. We understand the pressures you face, from navigating family court to co-parenting with a difficult ex, and Kristin is here to help. Discover the importance of celebrating small wins and managing overwhelming stress, which can easily become a lifestyle. Kristin introduces the "54321" grounding technique, a powerful tool designed to help you reconnect with your body and reduce anxiety by focusing on the present moment. By identifying things you can see, touch, hear, smell, and taste, this method can shift your nervous system from distress to a state of calmness.
Listen in as we also uncover empowering techniques for emotional regulation in high-stress situations involving an ex or an anxious child. Kristin emphasizes the significance of creating emotional distance by taking intentional pauses before responding to triggering communications. Through affirmations and small actions, we can retrain our brains and provide grounding for ourselves. We also discuss the impact of parental anxiety on children and the importance of breaking intergenerational cycles of stress. Self-care is paramount, as parents often prioritize their children's needs over their own. By committing to the hard work of managing emotions, parents can better support their children and foster healthier family dynamics.
Surviving a toxic relationship is never easy, especially when betrayal and manipulation are at play. Deana and Lizzie share their personal journeys of being married to the same toxic narcissist at different times, and how their shared experiences led to an unexpected yet powerful friendship. Through their candid stories, Deana and Lizzie shed light on the emotional aftermath of such relationships, the red flags they encountered, and the importance of trusting one's instincts. Their narratives reveal the strength found in solidarity and the importance of supporting others who may be ensnared in a similar web of deceit.
As the episode unfolds, we explore Lizzie's harrowing experience of financial abuse and her brave steps towards freedom. With the support of her sister and the community, Lizzie discovered her husband's hidden past, including a second marriage and a pattern of deception. The episode emphasizes the resilience required to rebuild one's life after such betrayal, highlighting the role of legal protection and the courage to seek truth and justice. Deana and Lizzie discuss the societal and personal factors that often complicate these situations, stressing the necessity of holding manipulative individuals accountable.
Finally, we turn our focus to the journey of healing and finding peace after leaving an abusive relationship. Through personal anecdotes, our guests illustrate the pivotal changes they experienced during this difficult yet rewarding phase. We highlight the importance of education on healthy relationships and the power of community support in overcoming the emotional obstacles left by manipulative partners. The discussion serves as a beacon of hope, offering guidance and inspiration for listeners who are striving for healing and liberation from the clutches of abuse.
How can fathers truly connect with their daughters in a world filled with cultural expectations and personal challenges? Join us for an intimate conversation with Oscar, the empathetic host of the Daughtered Podcast, as we explore the nuanced journey of fatherhood. Oscar, a dedicated father to three daughters and a military veteran, opens up about the profound impact his youngest daughter, born during the tumult of the COVID pandemic, had on his life and the inspiration she provided for creating a supportive community for fathers. Together, we reflect on the powerful influence of father figures, sharing personal stories that underscore the emotional complexities fathers face when striving to be present and nurturing.
Oscar and I dive into the evolving mindset around fatherhood, addressing the often-overwhelming emotions that accompany raising daughters. We discuss the cultural norms that shape parental instincts and the pressing need for spaces where fathers can exchange wisdom and support. Through the Daughtered Podcast and our vibrant Instagram community, we provide an avenue for fathers like Russ Kimura and Tyler McAdams to share experiences, thereby enhancing the practical application of parenting knowledge. Highlighting the lack of traditional support networks for fathers, we emphasize the importance of fostering ongoing growth and connection.
The conversation takes a heartfelt turn as we explore the challenges faced by fathers separated from their children. Oscar and I delve into the significance of maintaining a strong father-child relationship despite physical distance, advocating for quality time over mere quantity. We offer strategies for staying mindful and connected, encouraging fathers to prioritize their unique identities within their families. As we wrap up, our mutual appreciation resonates, and we invite listeners to engage with the Daughtered Podcast community, celebrating the dedication of fathers striving for excellence.
What happens when a relationship teeters on the edge of collapse, and how can therapy help? Join us for a candid conversation with Suzanne Taluy, a licensed clinical social worker and the founder of Embrace Psychotherapy, who specializes in trauma and couples counseling. Suzanne shares her thoughtful approach to therapy, highlighting the significance of initial consultations to ensure a good fit while vigilantly screening for red flags such as ongoing substance abuse or physical violence. Prepare to gain valuable insights into the world of couples counseling, where communication problems can range from minor misunderstandings to pivotal moments on the brink of divorce.
Suzanne also opens up about the ethical dilemmas therapists encounter, particularly in couples counseling, where maintaining neutrality is crucial. We explore the intricate dynamics when a therapist already has a pre-existing relationship with one partner and how this can impact the therapeutic process. In situations involving infidelity or potential domestic abuse, Suzanne emphasizes the therapist's responsibility to validate all parties' feelings and ensure clients' safety and well-being. This episode sheds light on the diverse approaches within the field and why some therapists might hesitate to advise leaving toxic relationships.
Finally, our discussion turns to the importance of recognizing healthy relationship dynamics and the critical role consultations play in choosing the right therapist. Suzanne highlights how many individuals overlook abusive patterns without professional guidance and how therapy can be a catalyst for change. We wrap up by addressing the value of informed and mindful therapeutic choices, encouraging listeners to seek professional help, especially for trauma or legal concerns, and consider legal advice in severe situations. This episode offers a comprehensive look at how therapy can aid individuals and couples on their healing journeys.
What if the concept of the perfect family is just a myth? Join us as we challenge this misconception with the help of Torie Wiksell, a seasoned therapist and boundaries coach. Tori brings her wealth of personal and professional experiences to our discussion, shedding light on the often hidden world of toxic family dynamics. With candor and compassion, she shares her own story of growing up under the influence of a narcissistic mother and the unique challenges that arise from such an upbringing. Together, we uncover the layers of societal expectations and unhealthy relationship models that can keep these destructive cycles spinning.
Our discussion navigates the tangled web of family roles and the impact they have on children's development, particularly in environments marked by domestic violence and toxic parenting. The conversation gets personal as we explore how roles like the scapegoat and the golden child affect perceptions and relationships. Therapy emerges as a vital tool for breaking free from these harmful patterns, though we acknowledge the frustration that comes with simplistic solutions often peddled by self-help figures. True healing, as we emphasize, is a gradual process that can't be rushed or reduced to a quick fix.
As we progress, the focus shifts to the struggles of estranged parents and the heartache of co-parenting with a toxic ex. Through stories of resilience and transformation, we offer hope that as children grow and gain independence, new possibilities for reconciliation and understanding can emerge. We stress the importance of self-reflection, healing, and building solid support systems to counteract toxic influences. By providing insights and strategies, we aim to empower those entangled in these complex familial situations, reinforcing that positive change is achievable and current adversities are not the end of the story.
What if navigating the complexities of Child Protective Services didn't have to be so daunting? Bailey Payne, our insightful guest and experienced behavioral analyst, lifts the veil on the often misunderstood world of CPS. We promise you'll gain a deeper understanding of how these services work to not only protect children but also aim to reunite and strengthen families. Bailey shares her personal experiences working within CPS, offering an honest look at how she collaborates with investigators and supports families in crisis. This conversation is a must-listen for anyone looking to demystify CPS involvement and learn about the meaningful path to family reunification, even amidst challenging circumstances like domestic violence.
The episode takes a transformative turn as we explore Bailey’s journey into behavior analysis and the art of positive parenting. By focusing on grace and positive reinforcement, Bailey reveals strategies for helping children who have faced trauma, particularly when dealing with aggressive behaviors in tweens. Learn how to shift your focus from problems to strengths, creating a nurturing environment where children can thrive. We also tackle the intricacies of the family court system, providing essential insights and actionable tips to empower you beyond the courtroom. This episode is filled with practical advice to help you foster healthier family dynamics and cultivate agency within your home. Join us for a compelling dialogue that offers not just hope but real tools for positive change.
What if your childhood could teach you more about your adult life than you ever imagined? Join us for an enlightening conversation with Dr. Sasha, a leading expert in childhood trauma, as we unpack the mysterious ways early experiences shape our futures. From the subtle yet significant "little t" traumas to the more conspicuous "big T" events, Dr. Sasha helps us understand the profound impact these moments can have on our adult relationships and self-perception, even for those who appear outwardly successful.
Together, we explore how these early experiences are not a life sentence but rather an invitation to healing and growth. Dr. Sasha brings to light the often-overlooked concept that trauma is not confined to dramatic incidents but can also arise from repeated, everyday experiences, such as the feeling of being unimportant when consistently picked up late from school. With a compassionate approach, she emphasizes that healing is always possible, whether by mending past relationships or embarking on a personal journey of self-discovery.
The journey to healing also includes understanding the pivotal role of self-compassion and community. We discuss how reconnecting with our bodies through movement, such as yoga and walking, can restore the mind-body connection disrupted by trauma. Dr. Sasha stresses the importance of surrounding ourselves with supportive communities that foster understanding and empathy, enabling us to break free from the "trauma loop." As we wrap up, we introduce transformative healing materials that empower listeners to take the first step on their healing paths, fostering personal growth and resilience.
Discover the art of taking control of your divorce proceedings with strategies that can turn a potentially overwhelming experience into a manageable process. Imagine being the quarterback of your own life while navigating the complex field of divorce, with your lawyer as your trusted coach. Join us as we explore these empowering concepts with our guest, Mia Poppe, a seasoned matrimonial attorney from New York City, who shares her unique insights into fostering a collaborative relationship between client and attorney, dispelling outdated notions of legal representation.
Mia brings to light the often-overlooked emotional and financial intricacies involved in divorce. By reframing the process as a strategic partnership, clients can save time, money, and energy. We challenge the traditional patriarchal mindset that leaves clients feeling passive and powerless, instead advocating for active client participation in shaping the legal strategy. With Mia's guidance, learn how maintaining active involvement and treating divorce like a business transaction can prevent unpleasant surprises and ensure that you remain in the driver’s seat of your legal journey.
We also delve into the impact of divorce on personal well-being and family dynamics. With Mia, we explore the benefits of divorce coaching to manage stress, reduce costs, and support overall mental and physical health during this tumultuous time. This episode offers valuable insights into managing the emotional toll of divorce, highlighting the importance of self-care and a supportive team, including therapists, to maintain stability for you and your children. Understanding the significance of strategic oversight and self-advocacy, Mia empowers listeners to approach divorce with a business-savvy mindset, ensuring clarity and control every step of the way.
What if you could empower your child's mental well-being by simply adjusting your parenting style? Emma Kate Freatman, a skilled therapist in Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) therapy, joins us to shed light on innovative strategies for managing pediatric anxiety. Drawing from her vast experience with children in crisis, Emma Kate discusses how seemingly small adjustments in parenting can make a significant difference, especially in challenging circumstances like extreme divorces and custody battles. Together, we unravel the signs that may indicate a child needs therapy and share methods to engage older children who might resist seeking help.
The episode takes a deep dive into the delicate dance of maintaining confidentiality while keeping parents informed, a crucial aspect of therapy involving minors. Emma Kate highlights the importance of setting clear boundaries and expectations around privacy from the outset, ensuring that communication remains open and transparent as children grow. We explore the complexities therapists face when parents are in severe conflict and how adhering to professional and ethical guidelines is vital for supporting both the child and the family.
Emma Kate introduces us to the SPACE therapy model, focusing on the role of parents in managing childhood anxiety without falling into the trap of overprotection. This innovative approach contrasts with traditional Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), offering parents a framework to empower their children while fostering independence. With real-life examples, we illustrate how SPACE therapy can help navigate difficult issues like school refusal and domestic violence, alongside the critical role of legal support in empowering families through challenging times. Join us for this enlightening discussion that promises to equip you with valuable insights and practical tools for supporting anxious children.
Renowned therapist and trauma recovery expert Karen Robinson joins us to explore the profound impact of community on healing from trauma. Her dual expertise as a therapist and coach offers a unique lens on recovery, enriched by her personal journey as a complex trauma survivor. We discuss the distinct but complementary roles of coaching and therapy in fostering healing, and the significant role that a supportive community plays in this process. Karen's insights illuminate how collective wisdom can often accelerate recovery, contrasting with the limitations of solely trauma-focused groups that might inadvertently trap individuals in cycles of suffering.
With heartfelt candor, Karen shares her membership in the "Been There, Got Out" club, offering listeners valuable lessons from her own path to recovery. Her story encourages a deeper understanding of trauma and highlights the importance of gender-inclusive support groups, such as our legal abuse support group, which recognizes that abuse knows no gender. Karen's experiences serve as a powerful reminder of the resilience and strength found in community healing. As we look forward to future collaborations, including an appearance on Karen's upcoming podcast, this episode promises a rich tapestry of insights on the power of connection and shared experiences in overcoming trauma.
Unlock the secrets to navigating family court with confidence as we host Dina, a California-based civil attorney with extensive experience in family law. Discover why the notion of needing an aggressive, "pitbull" attorney is a misconception, and learn how an assertive yet non-aggressive approach can lead to better outcomes, especially for domestic violence survivors. Dina shares her insights on the collaborative nature of family court and how judges aim for mutually beneficial resolutions, alongside unique state differences like Texas's use of jury trials in family settings.
The attorney-client relationship is critical, and we shed light on the importance of trust and communication within this dynamic, especially during emotionally charged cases. Hear how effective legal representation transcends cost, focusing instead on an attorney's ability to understand and empathize with their client. We emphasize the need for attorneys to avoid replicating toxic power dynamics, ensuring clients feel supported and empowered as they navigate the often-turbulent waters of family law.
Choosing the right attorney is paramount, and we explore how clients can demand transparency and set clear expectations to prevent unexpected expenses. Dina provides practical advice on selecting legal counsel, sharing real-life examples of how upfront communication about costs enhances satisfaction. This episode is your guide to mastering the complexities of family court, equipping you with the knowledge to make informed decisions in your legal journey.
Explore the transformative power of self-motivated learning and the pivotal role of debate in reshaping education with our guest, Joel Mounts, a former debate coach and founder of Dow Bloom. Joel's journey from aspiring doctor to passionate educator offers a compelling narrative about finding one's true calling amidst the rigid structures of traditional education. He shares his own experiences and observations about the shortcomings of public and private school systems, and how tools like debate can ignite intellectual curiosity and critical thinking, especially for those students who might not fit the conventional mold.
Through our discussion, we also highlight the broader challenges that teenagers face when navigating their future paths. Joel emphasizes the necessity of guiding young minds toward clear objectives and the unique difficulties encountered by families entangled in legal systems. Discover how specialized programs and activities like choir and debate can provide both young people and adults with the opportunity to find or reclaim their voice. The episode sheds light on the importance of soft skills—research, writing, communication—and the diminishing notion that college is the only road to success, encouraging a fresh perspective on career paths in a rapidly evolving world.
Finally, we delve into empowering students to hone essential communication skills, from sending impactful cold emails to leveraging social media platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube. Joel and I discuss the benefits of encouraging students to pursue long-term projects that align with their interests, preparing them not just for academic success but also to become thought leaders in their fields. As societal changes and technological advancements continue to redefine career landscapes, this episode inspires young listeners to turn curiosity into a driving force for personal and professional growth.
Join us as we explore the fascinating world of highly sensitive individuals with our special guest, Elizabeth Cush, a therapist dedicated to supporting those with this unique genetic trait. Elizabeth, a highly sensitive person herself, sheds light on the characteristics of high sensitivity, such as deep emotional processing, heightened empathy, and sensitivity to sensory inputs like bright lights and loud noises. Through her personal experiences, including surviving domestic violence, Elizabeth provides invaluable insights into how these traits can shape one's life and relationships. Our discussion touches on clairsentience and the challenges of managing intense empathy, offering guidance to those navigating the complexities of high sensitivity in challenging circumstances.
We also explore the intricacies of relationships for highly sensitive people, particularly the potential for manipulation and abusive dynamics due to their empathetic nature. Our conversation emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and establishing personal boundaries to foster healthier interactions. We highlight the work of Elaine Aaron and resources like the HSPerson website to aid in self-identification and understanding. Elizabeth also shares her work with "Awaken Your Wise Woman," providing practical advice on self-care and personal growth. This episode is a treasure trove of insights and resources for anyone identifying as highly sensitive, offering a path to manage overwhelm and cultivate positive, enriching relationships.
Discover the hidden truths of custody battles and redefine your understanding of parental rights with our esteemed guest, Lisa Zeiderman, a high-stakes custody and financial litigation attorney. Lisa unpacks the intricate layers of custody arrangements, dispelling myths and misconceptions that often complicate legal proceedings. We explore the essential distinction between legal and physical custody and unravel the decision-making process across pivotal areas like education, medical care, and religious upbringing. With Lisa's expertise, we underscore how the child's well-being remains paramount, even in the most contentious situations.
Navigating the murky waters of custody cases involving allegations of abuse, Lisa sheds light on the delicate balance courts must strike between protecting the child and acknowledging their bond with both parents. The discussion turns a critical eye toward actions that can sway custody outcomes, from emotional abuse to the pitfalls of sharing case details online. We emphasize the importance of responsible co-parenting, focusing on how subtle behaviors might inadvertently undermine a child's relationship with a parent and the legal ramifications that follow.
Master the complexities of crafting effective parenting plans and the role of parenting coordinators in conflict resolution. Lisa offers a nuanced perspective on joint legal custody agreements and the enforceability of family law stipulations like rights of first refusal and radius clauses. As we dissect these legal frameworks, the conversation highlights the importance of adhering to custody agreements to protect the child's best interests and avoid unnecessary legal battles. Tune in for a comprehensive guide to navigating the challenging landscape of custody and co-parenting with insight, empathy, and legal acumen.
Unlock the secrets to breaking free from perfectionism and people-pleasing with insights from psychologist Dr. Shannon Sauer-Zavala. High achievers, rejoice—this episode promises to transform your relationship with validation and societal praise. Shannon unpacks how the fear of rejection can tether self-worth to external factors, and more importantly, how you can intentionally shift these patterns over time. Learn how aging can naturally bring increased openness and a focus on relationships, allowing you to shed the burdensome 'shoulds' that often weigh down your professional and personal life.
Balancing the demands of work, family, and personal commitments can feel like a never-ending juggling act, often leading to burnout. We explore the myth of balance and how understanding your core values can help you prioritize energy, make empowered choices, and maintain your well-being. Navigate life's challenges, from parenting struggles to the upheaval of divorce, with a marathon mindset. Discover the rejuvenating power of rest and travel, and how viewing rest as an investment can enhance clarity. Dive into the Personality Compass, our scientifically-backed guide for intentional personality change, and find out where you can access more resources, including therapy services across 43 SIPAC states.
Can intimacy thrive after a toxic relationship? Uncover the profound insights of Skyeblu Cutchie, affectionately known as Blue, as we explore the multifaceted world of intimacy beyond mere love. Join us on this journey as Blue shares her expertise on emotional and physical safety, the courageous choice of singlehood, and the potential to form meaningful connections after trauma. Experience her empowering messages on self-awareness, healing, and the art of setting boundaries, all aimed at fostering healthier relationships. Embrace the idea that life offers more than one "happily ever after," as Blue advocates for the capacity to love multiple people over a lifetime, challenging traditional romantic notions.
Listen as we navigate the delicate path to intimacy post-trauma, especially when past relationships have wielded sex as a weapon. Blue offers solace and guidance, advocating for practices such as restorative yoga, dance, and nature walks to nurture a sense of safety within. For those eager to rebuild intimacy with partners, explore our "More Than Just Roommates" challenge, designed to elevate connection and enhance sexual relationships. From overcoming toxic relationship trauma to cultivating hope for a healthier future, this episode equips you with practical strategies and insights to break free from negative patterns, paving the way for personal growth and relational fulfillment.
Attorney and former judge Michele Locke returns to our podcast, bringing her wealth of expertise in family law to illuminate the complex issue of parental alienation. Join us as we unpack the controversial behaviors that can drive a wedge between parents and children during divorce proceedings, using high-profile cases like that of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie to explore the spectrum of beliefs surrounding this topic. Michele shares her insights on the detrimental impacts of such behaviors on the family dynamic and stresses the paramount importance of focusing on the child's well-being amidst the chaos.
Our conversation takes a deep dive into the intricate family dynamics of the "Brangelina" split, highlighting daughter Shiloh's experience as a mirror to the broader challenges faced by children in high-conflict divorces. We revisit pivotal events, such as the infamous plane incident that cast a long shadow over the family's legal battles. Through this lens, we discuss the often insurmountable challenges victims encounter in seeking justice and how these allegations can skew divorce proceedings and influence public perception.
In tackling the emotional toll of parental alienation, we explore the nuanced concept of ambiguous grief experienced by alienated parents—a profound sense of loss without closure. Michele offers practical strategies for parents grappling with this heart-wrenching situation, emphasizing the varied approaches needed for different age groups. From maintaining communication to knowing when to step back, we provide guidance for navigating these troubled waters, understanding the growing trend of severed familial bonds, and contemplating the painful possibility of letting go when reconciliation seems out of reach.
What if you could transform fear-based beliefs into a source of empowerment? Join us on a journey of self-discovery and healing with the guidance of transformational healer, Lisa Watson. Lisa shares her groundbreaking reparenting method, designed to help women break free from toxic patterns and codependency, all while fostering generational healing. By reprogramming subconscious beliefs through deep inner child work, women can prioritize self-care and fundamentally shift their life's trajectory.
Embark on the path to self-awareness and emotional mastery with us as we explore the power of becoming a silent observer of your own thoughts and emotions. Discover how identifying and understanding patterns rooted in past experiences can empower you to choose different thoughts and reactions, ultimately building new neural pathways for positivity and emotional growth. In a world shaped by patriarchal systems and societal programming, community support becomes an indispensable tool for navigating these transformative changes, especially for women.
Our conversation with Lisa also touches on the often overlooked importance of inner child healing for both men and women, challenging the societal norms that discourage seeking help. By addressing systemic issues that perpetuate disempowering beliefs, we highlight the struggles faced by men in toxic relationships, showing that these challenges transcend gender. Lisa offers a message of hope and underscores the importance of solidarity and community support, reminding listeners that no one has to face their challenges in isolation. Together, we can reclaim personal power and authenticity, fostering a sense of connectedness and shared strength.
Discover the transformative power of mediation in high-conflict divorce cases with Joe Dillon, founder of Equitable Mediation Services. Ever wondered if mediation can work even when tensions are running high? Explore how Joe's background in finance and negotiation informs his belief that mediation, when approached with good faith and optimism, can be an effective alternative to the courtroom for the majority of cases, even those involving domestic violence or financial abuse. Joe shares personal experiences and professional insights, highlighting the potential for mediation to heal emotional wounds and foster a healthier co-parenting relationship.
Unravel the complexities of navigating divorce mediation as we tackle misconceptions head-on. Mediation isn't just a one-and-done solution—it's a process that requires patience, preparation, and commitment. Joe contrasts mediation with therapy while acknowledging its therapeutic benefits. He makes a compelling case for viewing life forward, not backward, and emphasizes why attorney involvement is crucial in complex scenarios. Two-hour sessions are ideal, allowing mediators to stay effective and clients to feel supported without being overwhelmed. Realize the necessity of removing emotions from negotiations and treating divorce mediation similar to a business transaction to minimize conflict and focus on data-driven decisions.
Prepare to be empowered with practical steps and advice on making mediation a first choice rather than a last resort. Learn how to prepare for mediation by creating budgets, lists of assets, and keeping children's needs at the forefront. Joe Dillon also explores the challenges when one spouse is reluctant to divorce and how to communicate needs proactively. Find out why mediation agreements often hold weight in court and how they can streamline the divorce process, especially in overburdened judicial systems. We wrap up by offering guidance on whether mediation is suitable for you, accompanied by a heartfelt reminder that, with the right support and mindset, a better life awaits beyond the turbulence of divorce.
What impact does parental conflict during and after divorce have on children? Dr. Karen Molano, a distinguished child psychologist and early childhood specialist, joins us to offer insights into this pressing issue. You’ll discover the transformative concept of multi-dimensional parenting, a holistic strategy designed to meet the needs of both children and families. Dr. Molano shares how early bonding—from conception through the first few critical years—shapes a child's worldview and relationships. Learn practical strategies to help safeguard your children from being caught in the crossfire of extreme divorce situations and how to maintain a nurturing, supportive relationship even across distances.
This episode also uncovers the emotional intricacies faced by parents and children when a marriage ends. We stress the importance of creating a safe space for emotional expression and the role of movement in emotional processing. From the power of a simple walk to the rhythmic solace found in cooking, discover how these activities can alleviate stress and promote well-being. Acknowledging that children often mirror their parents’ emotions, we discuss the pitfalls of masking feelings and explore healthy ways to communicate, ensuring children aren't burdened with filling emotional voids left by their parents.
Building resilience in children starts with parental modeling, and this episode highlights how accountability and openness can positively influence young minds. Even in challenging family dynamics, a supportive environment can equip children with essential social and emotional skills that are invaluable in adulthood. As we wrap up, we explore the profound idea of empowering children to address issues independently, fostering self-assurance and personal growth. Strengthening the connection with your children is crucial, and Dr. Molano offers advice on nurturing this bond from conception through the early years, building an enduring sense of safety and security.
Join us as we explore the critical role of financial professionals in divorce proceedings with Maggie Nielsen, a partner at Purse Strings. Maggie shares her insights on why having a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) can be a game-changer in managing the financial complexities of divorce. While attorneys are vital for legal matters, Maggie emphasizes that financial experts offer specialized knowledge on pre-tax and post-tax dollars, asset distribution, and long-term planning, often at a more cost-effective rate than legal counsel. We'll also discuss the benefits of assembling a comprehensive team, including a CDFA, a mortgage professional, and even a therapist, to ensure a holistic approach to navigating the emotional and financial challenges of divorce.
Listen in as we highlight the importance of mediation and how financial professionals can provide leverage in understanding asset distribution and legal entitlements. We touch on the necessity of involving a forensic accountant in cases where assets may be hidden and the challenges faced by conflict-avoidant individuals who might settle prematurely. Maggie provides a roadmap for minimizing expenses and maximizing financial security during this life transition. With a focus on strategic decision-making and the importance of understanding every document before signing, this episode offers valuable resources and insights to guide you through the divorce process. Don't miss out on these essential tips for navigating divorce wisely and strategically, and be sure to explore the resources available on our website and Instagram for further support.
What if breaking free from toxic relationship patterns was simpler than you thought? In our latest episode, we invite Johnny Fernandez to share his compelling journey from attorney to relationship expert. Drawing from his own tumultuous past, Johnny opens up about growing up with an abusive stepfather and how those early experiences shaped his understanding of love and intimacy. Together with his wife Laura, Johnny has dedicated over 20 years to helping women navigate the complexities of love, guiding them towards healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
We explore the courage it takes to step into the unknown territory of healthy relationships. Johnny emphasizes the human need for genuine connection and the transformative power of supportive partnerships. He shares how being content with singlehood, when not rooted in fear, can also be a powerful and fulfilling choice. Through self-education and a willingness to embrace change, listeners learn how to unlock new doors to happiness and intimate connections. Real change, Johnny argues, comes from understanding and observing positive relationship examples, which can redefine our perceptions of intimacy.
This episode is filled with personal stories and insights on breaking free from harmful cycles and the resilience required to cultivate a positive life vision. Johnny walks us through the process of rewiring our brains to seek stability over drama, showing how consistency and small gestures of love can be the bedrock of a fulfilling relationship. As we share stories of transformation, we express gratitude for those who contribute to healing and hope, looking forward to continuing this essential conversation in the future. Tune in if you want to be inspired by stories of change and find out how you too can transform your approach to love and relationships.
Could conflict in divorce be as addictive as a bad habit? Join us as we explore this provocative idea with Christopher Anderson, co-founder of New Leaf Family. Discover how traditional divorce proceedings may be inadvertently fueling emotional and financial exhaustion, and learn about innovative approaches designed to help individuals break free from these cycles. Christopher shares how New Leaf Family's set monthly fee structure is designed to remove the incentive for prolonged disputes and instead guide clients toward a healthier, more amicable future.
Imagine pulling yourself out of the divorce chaos with a clear vision of your future as your guiding light. In this episode, we emphasize the power of self-directed life planning, encouraging you to remain focused on your own goals. Christopher and I discuss the importance of distancing yourself from unhelpful influences, like a soon-to-be ex-spouse, and instead concentrating on creating a fulfilling life for yourself. This empowering approach brings clarity of purpose, offering strength and direction as you navigate through adversity.
As we delve into the intricacies of parenting during a divorce, child safety emerges as an essential priority. Different parenting styles can present challenges, and it's crucial to take immediate action when safety is at stake. Christopher and I reflect on the importance of not only ensuring temporary safety but also instituting protective legal measures for long-term stability. By moving beyond reactive responses, we explore how creative and strategic thinking can cultivate a future that supports personal growth and the well-being of your children. Join us for this thought-provoking conversation that challenges conventional divorce paradigms and offers a path to a brighter future.
Jacintha Field, affectionately known as Jay, founder of Happy Souls Kids, joins us from Melbourne, Australia, in an enlightening discussion on the art of emotional regulation and play therapy for both children and parents. Jay offers her seasoned expertise on how parents can maintain a calm demeanor to aid their children in managing emotions, especially amid challenging family dynamics. Through Jay's insights, you'll discover the nuanced roles of self-regulation and co-regulation, along with the healing power of play and art therapy, which help children express complex emotions creatively and effectively.
We explore the intricacies of parenting in high-conflict situations, where understanding a child's true desires becomes paramount. Whether it's navigating the emotional landscape of birthdays or simply acknowledging a child’s need for structured routines versus playtime with friends, Jay illuminates the vital role of a play therapist in interpreting children's needs. The conversation underscores the significance of spending undivided time with children to nurture empowerment and connection, offering reassurance that being present for your kids can make all the difference during tumultuous times.
As we address the trials of co-parenting, Jay emphasizes the importance of self-care, emotional regulation, and setting firm boundaries to prevent burnout and resentment. Highlighting her personal journey, she encourages parents to prioritize their well-being while fostering a compassionate parenting style. The episode concludes with a heartening reminder of the power of connection, advocating for nurturing relationships and the joy of incorporating "yes days" to deepen bonds and gain insight into a child’s world. Join us for a conversation filled with practical advice and heartfelt encouragement for navigating the complexities of modern parenting.
Can you truly reclaim your life and sanity amidst the chaos of a high-conflict divorce? Discover the transformative insights of Leah Mazur, a certified divorce recovery coach, as we unravel the complexities of handling toxic exes and the damaging effects of negative self-talk. Leah sheds light on the tools needed to navigate through emotional abuse, explaining how vital self-compassion and patience are for rebuilding one's mindset. We explore the significance of establishing strict boundaries and embracing radical acceptance, empowering you to regain control, not just for yourself, but also for your children during the tumultuous co-parenting journey.
Leah joins us to share actionable strategies for silencing that critical inner voice many face during divorce. She introduces therapeutic practices, such as journaling and writing unsent letters, which serve as powerful outlets for processing emotions and moving past harmful labels. By recognizing and countering the manipulation tactics often present in high-conflict divorces, this episode promises to equip you with the resilience needed to overcome self-doubt. Tune in to learn how consistent, positive actions can pave the way to healing and personal empowerment.
Can fathers truly advocate for equal custody without feeling like they're attacking the child's mother? Join us for an insightful conversation with David Pisarra, a seasoned divorce and family lawyer, as we discuss strategies that challenge common misconceptions in child custody battles. David reveals the critical importance of fathers actively demonstrating their involvement and understanding of their children, rather than simply expressing love. With societal shifts moving towards equal custody, David shares practical advice from his book, "Dad's Child Custody Action Plan," including the creation of a "kid inventory" to help fathers articulate their knowledge of their children.
The emotional toll of false allegations in custody battles is profound, and David sheds light on the frustrating scenario of being labeled a "Disneyland dad." We dive into how temporary restraining orders can be misused to gain custody advantages, often leaving the accused feeling defeated. Through real-life examples, we highlight the emotional exhaustion these battles can cause and their detrimental effects on both the accused parent and the child. Navigating accusations from individuals with personality disorders demands a strategic and objective approach, and David shares insights on maintaining composure in emotionally charged courtroom settings.
Biases in family court systems and the mental health challenges fathers face during custody battles are pervasive issues we address in our conversation. David emphasizes the importance of rebuilding self-esteem and confidence for fathers, drawing on tools like the "Kid Inventory" to foster positive memories. As fathers navigate this complex legal landscape, maintaining social connections and support systems is crucial to prevent isolation and depression. Resources like "Dad's Law School" and "Dad's Badass Bootcamp" empower fathers to recognize their unique strengths, ensuring they can advocate effectively for themselves and their children in court.
What role does community support play in the healing journey of domestic violence survivors and those seeking to break the cycle of abuse? Join us as we welcome back Sophora Acheson, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and CEO of Restorative Pathways, to explore this vital question. Sophora shares her personal experiences and sheds light on the profound impact a supportive network can have, not only for survivors but also for perpetrators aiming to change their lives. Discover how Restorative Pathways is pioneering community-based interventions inspired by a groundbreaking program from New Zealand, which includes residential houses and group activities designed to foster accountability and address the shame that often traps individuals in harmful behaviors.
We also turn our attention to the innovative RAFT (Restorative Action for Family Transformation) pilot program, which offers a restorative justice alternative to the traditional court-mandated programs available in California. Sophora details how RAFT employs the Internal Family Systems model to help individuals confront and mature the parts of themselves that contribute to destructive actions. As we emphasize the necessity of empathy and understanding in community settings, Sophora illustrates how such environments can help victims transition from a place of victimhood to one of empowerment and autonomy. By offering new paths for healing and accountability, we not only support survivors but also help reshape the lives of those willing to break free from the cycle of violence.
Charlie McCready, a seasoned parental alienation coach, joins us to unpack the complex and often shadowed realm of parental alienation. Ever wondered how a loving child can suddenly become estranged from a parent? We navigate through the difficult questions and the emotional turmoil that alienated parents endure when they find themselves without the support of society. Charlie shares his deep insights and personal experiences, emphasizing that the pain of parental alienation can be as profound as bereavement, yet lacks the communal empathy often extended to those who grieve.
Throughout our conversation, we shed light on the less-discussed pre-alienation phase, where one parent subtly undermines the other, setting the stage for more overt alienation post-separation. Charlie and I explore practical strategies for maintaining a connection with children who are being influenced by an alienating parent. Is there a way to bridge the divide when gifts are intercepted or dismissed? We discuss the power of preserving letters and cards—a testament to the unwavering love of a parent, waiting for the right moment to be shared.
We also share stories like that of Emma, who kept gifts for her children to show them they were always in her heart. This episode is a heartfelt call for greater awareness and understanding of the silent suffering endured by those affected by parental alienation. We offer hope, noting that many estranged parents eventually reconcile with their children, and we invite listeners to share their questions or topics of interest for future discussions. Join us in this crucial conversation as we strive to bring parental alienation into the light.
Art Bowker, affectionately known as the Art Cyber Safety Guy, opens the door to a chilling but crucial conversation on stalking and cyber stalking. With a wealth of experience in investigating cyber crimes and guiding victims through the aftermath, Art highlights how technology has transformed these harrowing acts from isolated incidents to pervasive threats. The digital landscape has made it easier for stalkers to harass their victims from afar, and Art is here to help us understand the depths of this issue and the psychological profiles often linked to such behavior.
Our dialogue with Art uncovers the disturbing trends in how stalkers operate, from those fixated on public figures to individuals targeting former partners. The episode emphasizes the importance of recognizing the fine line between benign interest and dangerous obsession. We also explore the alarming rise of doxing and its potential to create hazardous situations for victims through false emergency calls. Art offers pragmatic advice for documenting unwanted contact and stresses the significance of involving law enforcement to tackle these issues head-on.
Safeguarding your digital privacy is paramount, especially after a breakup, when vulnerabilities are heightened. Art walks us through essential steps such as updating passwords, installing antivirus software, and even considering professional help from computer forensic experts. Real-life stories illustrate the lengths some may go to violate privacy, using everything from neighbors' unsecured devices to covert tracking gadgets. For those worried about digital surveillance in their homes, Art provides strategies for detecting hidden cameras and microphones, urging listeners to be vigilant. Engage with us and learn proactive ways to protect yourself in the digital age, fueled by Art’s expertise and insights.
Psychologist Madelaine Weiss joins us to shed light on the complex world of co-parenting with challenging ex-partners. Through her vast experience in dealing with difficult family dynamics, Madelaine offers insights into how divorce can affect our sense of self and how to manage personal triggers in emotionally charged situations. Together, we explore the psychological struggles that arise from negative portrayals by ex-partners and provide listeners with tools to preserve self-worth and maintain effective parenting amidst adversity.
We tackle the trauma of emotional and legal abuse, acknowledging the pressures of striving for perfection. In the face of fear and anxiety, Madelaine introduces calming techniques like polyvagal breathing to help regain composure and protect one's self-image and legal standing. The discussion focuses on responding thoughtfully to emotional triggers to break the cycle of trauma and redefine personal narratives, empowering listeners to navigate their challenges with empathy and resilience.
We also share valuable parenting and self-improvement strategies, inspired by Madelaine's own journey through divorce and parenting. From setting realistic goals with the Goldilocks principle to managing children's emotional outbursts, we emphasize the importance of creating a supportive environment. Throughout the episode, listeners will find stories of hope, encouragement, and practical advice, all aimed at fostering personal growth and ensuring brighter days ahead for both parents and children.
Licensed therapist and trauma specialist Laurel Roberts-Meese joins us for an enlightening exploration of how trauma rewires the brain and why understanding this process is pivotal for healing. We dissect the critical role of the amygdala in trapping individuals in survival mode during prolonged stress and discuss the often-overlooked concept of legal abuse in high-conflict relationships. Laurel shares her profound insights into effective trauma therapies, emphasizing a holistic approach that addresses both immediate and lingering responses to trauma for genuine recovery.
Beyond the science, we tackle the metaphor of the "Friday night bomb" as we explore why professionals in high-intensity careers might be drawn to chaos due to their past experiences. This chapter unravels the myth of a linear healing timeline and introduces Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy as a transformative tool for managing PTSD. Laurel highlights the importance of seeking professional help, comparing EMDR to medical interventions for physical injuries, to normalize and support those grappling with trauma's long-lasting effects.
The conversation further uncovers the soothing power of bilateral movement and physical activity in trauma recovery, revealing how exercises like walking, kickboxing, and dancing can lift mental health by engaging both sides of the body. We emphasize the necessity of resourcing in EMDR therapy, laying a foundation of emotional safety before one begins processing trauma. With practical tips on reducing screen time for better sleep and creating mental calm spaces, this episode offers a comprehensive guide to holistic trauma management, promoting overall well-being for those on the path to healing.
Join us for a captivating discussion with Heather Quick, a seasoned Florida attorney and founder of the Florida Women's Law Group, as we explore the multifaceted discovery process in divorce cases. Heather sheds light on the essential nature of discovery, underscoring its critical role in ensuring that both parties have a clear understanding of their financial and asset situations. Our conversation extends beyond financial matters, touching on how discovery can encompass custody issues and other personal documentation, such as recordings or journals. Heather also shares legal strategies for uncovering hidden information while addressing the challenges of handling invasive demands, emphasizing the importance of legal procedures in safeguarding clients' interests.
We shift our focus to empowering clients to advocate for themselves during legal proceedings. The discussion emphasizes the importance of strategic oversight and active participation, rather than solely relying on attorneys. Heather and I explore the necessity of understanding and agreeing with documents before signing them and the significance of standing up for oneself during mediation or settlement negotiations. We address common objections in discovery requests, such as irrelevance and overbroad claims, and the vital role of attorney-client privilege. By fostering strong communication with legal representatives, clients can feel more confident in their decisions and avoid succumbing to pressure.
Lastly, we navigate the challenges of discovery in high-conflict situations, particularly in cases involving domestic violence. Heather provides insights into managing overwhelming discovery requests and protecting sensitive information like medical and mental health records. We highlight the importance of a trusting attorney-client relationship and strategic decision-making in choosing which battles to pursue in court. By offering practical steps to break down tasks and organize documentation, we aim to alleviate clients' burdens and better prepare them for the legal proceedings ahead. Through this episode, listeners gain valuable tools for effectively navigating the discovery process, utilizing subpoenas and depositions to expedite document acquisition, and making informed decisions throughout their legal journey.
Join us as we explore the challenging yet crucial journey of learning to trust again after toxic relationships, with insights from Dr. Elizabeth Polinsky, founder of Communicate and Connect Counseling. In our conversation, Dr. Polinsky shares her expertise on the prevalence of betrayal, from infidelity and intimate partner violence to emotional abuse. Discover the nuances between situational couple violence and intimate terrorism, and learn about the pursue-withdraw dynamic, a common pattern in relationships. We also discuss how emotionally focused couple therapy can serve as a powerful tool for healing and improving relationships after betrayal.
As we navigate the complexities of rebuilding trust, particularly in high-conflict and extreme domestic violence situations, the importance of individual healing becomes apparent. Dr. Polinsky introduces techniques like cognitive processing therapy and prolonged exposure to address the traumatic impacts of betrayal. Gain valuable insights on assessing trust in new relationships by evaluating aspects such as emotional support and safety, helping you gradually rebuild confidence in others. Remember, rebuilding trust takes time and involves observing a person's reliability across various interactions. Tune in for an enlightening discussion on overcoming betrayal and forging healthier connections.
Can childhood aggression be an unexpected plea for help rather than a precursor to a violent future? Join us as we welcome Davina Hehn, a respected behavioral analyst, to shed light on the nuances of child aggression, particularly in the tumultuous waters of high-conflict separations. Together, we unravel the complex web of emotions that children might express as aggression due to their struggle for communication and emotional regulation. Listen in as Davina shares her expertise on why this behavior is more about a cry for understanding than a predictor of future violence, and how recognizing problematic adolescent aggression can serve as a crucial step in offering the right support.
Family dynamics play a pivotal role in addressing aggression, and this episode uncovers the importance of involving the entire family in the therapeutic journey. We discuss how aggression often stems from feelings of isolation and how taking away a child's communication tools can exacerbate these feelings. We offer practical strategies to help families create a cohesive support network that includes trusted mentors and adults, emphasizing open communication to prevent escalation and foster mutual growth. Delve into the discussion on how transparent conversations about significant decisions, like sending a child away, can maintain a child's sense of agency and security.
In times of crisis, finding the right response can make all the difference. Here, we highlight the benefits of mobile mental health crisis centers and creating a supportive care team over traditional police involvement, which can sometimes intensify conflicts. Our conversation touches on the power of community support and the impact of parental narratives on child behavior, encouraging proactive crisis planning and engaging children in discussions about trust. As we wrap up, Davina, also known as Aady Space, shares her mission of helping others find balance, inviting listeners to explore her compelling online presence for more guidance in navigating life's challenges.
Join us for a heartfelt and insightful conversation with Dinalynn Rosenbush, a seasoned speech and language pathologist and host of The Language of Play podcast. Together, we explore how to support children, particularly those with special needs, through the turbulence of high-conflict separations. Dinalynn shares her wealth of knowledge from both personal and professional experiences, shedding light on the profound impact parental separation can have on children. She emphasizes the importance of intentional communication and understanding the unique strengths and weaknesses of every child, regardless of their needs. Through her expertise, we discuss practical ways to help children feel secure and supported, ensuring they are not burdened by the tensions and anxieties that often accompany such challenging times.
Additionally, we discuss effective strategies for explaining family changes like divorce to children, highlighting the role of body language and tone in communication. Discover how using toys or props can help clarify new family dynamics in a non-threatening manner, and learn about the soothing power of water play as a calming ritual to ease children's anxiety during post-visit transitions. By creating a safe space for open communication, we can help our children navigate these difficult changes with confidence and understanding. Don't miss this episode as Dinalynn offers invaluable insights and practical advice for parents facing the complexities of high-conflict separation.
Join us for an enlightening conversation with Gloria Vanderhorst, a distinguished psychologist whose five decades of experience provide a rich tapestry of insights into the world of male emotional expression. Gloria brings her depth of expertise to the forefront as we examine the constraints American cultural norms place on men's emotional vocabulary, beginning in childhood. Through her work with preschoolers, adolescents, and adults, Gloria unravels the complexities behind societal expectations that often suppress the natural emotional range boys are born with, impacting their capacity to form deep, intimate connections as they mature.
Our discussion navigates the critical role of authenticity in relationships, particularly within the dynamics of co-parenting and negotiation. Gloria sheds light on the societal pressures demanding fearlessness and competence from boys, and how these pressures diverge from the expectations set for girls. We also tackle the nuanced experiences of gender-fluid children and the educational system's part in exploring gender identity. Moreover, we introduce a creative journaling concept that encourages self-expression beyond mere words, highlighting the therapeutic power of art in emotional processing. This episode challenges perceptions and inspires a broader understanding of emotional expression across life's various dimensions.
Dr. Karalynn Royster, a child psychologist from Colorado, joins us to unravel the complexities of co-parenting with a challenging ex-partner. She shares her expertise on creating a home environment where children can thrive despite the turmoil of separation. By focusing on the well-being of the children and allowing them time to adapt, Dr. Royster highlights key indicators of children struggling with these changes, like behavioral shifts and separation anxiety, and reminds us that trusting our parental intuition is crucial during these transitions.
Navigating tough conversations with children is no small feat, especially when it involves sensitive subjects like family conflicts or parental separations. We explore the nuances of validating children's feelings, fostering open communication, and addressing misconceptions without overwhelming them with adult complexities. By reinforcing parental love and commitment, we aim to create a secure space for children to voice their concerns, ensuring they feel heard and supported even when complete transparency isn't possible.
The emotional terrain of co-parenting becomes even more intricate with new partners entering the picture. Expert Dr. Josh Coleman provides insights into managing children's emotions and preparing them for the layered grief that can accompany these changes. We emphasize the significance of patience and understanding in high-conflict co-parenting scenarios, offering strategies to maintain stability. Additionally, we explore the value of supportive communities and resources like online groups and specialized programs, underscoring the importance of having a reliable network during these challenging times.
Confidence and assertiveness specialist Talia Bambola shares her invaluable expertise on the nuanced differences between assertiveness and aggression. With her background as a licensed marriage family therapist, Talia discusses the transformative journey from people-pleasing to setting firm boundaries and building confidence. Her insights are particularly relevant for those trapped in high-conflict co-parenting dynamics, where balancing personal needs with those of the family becomes crucial.
High-conflict co-parenting presents unique challenges, especially when partners exhibit narcissistic traits or coercive control. Drawing from personal experiences and experts like Bill Eddy, we explore strategies to maintain the child's best interest amidst turbulent custody battles. Practical advice includes using "usefully awful" communication techniques that help defuse tensions while safeguarding your boundaries. By understanding the psychological underpinnings of high-conflict interactions, listeners can adopt more strategic approaches to manage these tense relationships.
Effective communication and mediation strategies become vital when navigating the legal landscape of co-parenting. We emphasize the importance of preparation and long-term planning in crafting fair parenting plans and crossing legal hurdles. Talia's guidance includes using neutral language and staying prepared for any scenario, ensuring that all interactions hold up under scrutiny. As you work through these emotional and complex scenarios, building a robust support system and leveraging resources can make all the difference in fostering a healthier family dynamic.
Could the secret to easier co-parenting be as simple as understanding your emotions? Licensed professional counselor and play therapist Jenny Hornby joins the conversation to explore this and more. Our discussion offers listeners a fascinating glimpse into the world of emotional regulation—a crucial skill for parents who must navigate their own feelings while helping children identify and manage theirs. Jenny provides valuable insights on how parents can avoid the trap of overprotective parenting and instead foster resilience and self-sufficiency in their children.
The episode also delves into the intricate and often misunderstood areas of emotional incest and enmeshment within co-parenting dynamics. In a compassionate dialogue, We emphasize the importance of establishing boundaries and promoting individuation for children. We stress that creating a safe, non-judgmental environment for children to express their feelings is essential. This approach not only strengthens the child’s emotional foundation but also helps concerned parents address these sensitive issues without blaming the unaware parent.
Listeners are introduced to practical strategies that make transitions between parents smoother and less stressful for children. From completing activities before handoffs to developing comforting rituals, these small adjustments can have a significant impact. Jenny shares her creative approach to child therapy, incorporating play and warmth to help children feel supported. Her online presence, including "Miss Jenny's Neighborhood," offers additional resources for parents seeking guidance. This episode is a treasure trove of wisdom for anyone navigating the challenges of co-parenting and seeking to nurture emotionally resilient children.
Author and speaker Josh the Derelict joins us to share his unique insights on navigating the challenges of divorce and rediscovering one's identity through adversity. Josh's journey from feeling abandoned to embracing his true self is a testament to resilience and transformation. In this episode, Josh introduces his book, "The Five Traps Men Face when Going Through Divorce and How to Triumph Over Them," offering valuable tips on how preparation and understanding can lead to personal growth and self-discovery during a turbulent time.
Navigating divorce isn't just about hiring a lawyer; it's about building a support system that covers all bases. Through personal stories and practical advice, we discuss the importance of choosing a well-rounded divorce team, including financial experts and emotional support systems. Josh highlights often-overlooked emotional and spiritual struggles men face during high-conflict divorces, emphasizing the need for support and recognition in reclaiming one's voice amidst societal expectations and biases.
Prioritizing self-care and nurturing relationships, especially with children, can be pivotal during and after divorce. Josh sheds light on self-care practices that help maintain balance and promote healing. Additionally, we explore common pitfalls like rushing into new relationships and how focusing on self-improvement can lead to healthier dynamics. Tune in to learn more about Josh's journey and his latest book, "The Derelict Fight, Fail, Find Manhood," which offers guidance on overcoming divorce challenges and finding authentic masculinity.
Michele Locke, a seasoned attorney and former domestic violence judge, brings her wealth of experience to our latest episode. We tackle the tough issues of family court, addressing concerns about judicial integrity and the toll of compassion fatigue on judges. Michele gives us a front-row seat to the complexities of protective orders and child protective services cases, highlighting the challenges of ensuring justice while managing the emotional impacts on all involved. Learn how family courts strive to remain impartial arenas, even as they grapple with the re-traumatization of domestic violence victims.
Navigating the turbulent waters of family law requires clarity and focus, especially during emotionally charged divorce proceedings. This episode underscores the importance of crafting concise, Super Bowl commercial-like presentations in court. We explore the hurdles of standardized parenting plans that often fail to address the unique dynamics of each family. Michele shares insights into the power struggles and negotiation difficulties that can arise, particularly when personality disorders are at play. With her guidance, listeners can better understand how to manage these difficult interactions and prepare effectively for the challenges ahead.
The episode also focuses on strategic communication, a vital skill during contentious divorce litigation. Discover the BIF approach—Brief, Informative, Firm, and Friendly—as a method to maintain composure and protect long-term interests. We discuss the importance of mental health management, offering practical tips like journaling and therapy, and dispelling fears about the impact of seeking mental health treatment on court outcomes. Equip yourself with the tools to handle the emotional strain of family court and safeguard your well-being throughout this challenging journey.
Michele Locke’s new podcast, lovelustlaw, premieres July 1! Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. This gripping series goes beyond the headlines and into the courtroom chaos of real-life relationship fallout. From celebrity divorces to deadly love stories, Michele unpacks the legal twists, emotional turns, and shocking truths behind modern relationships.
Parenting teenagers through the tumultuous waters of divorce, separation, and co-parenting just became a little clearer thanks to our guest, parenting coach Mike Barsamian. With a rich background in understanding teenage behavior, Mike equates their journey to walking a tightrope, balancing precariously between the realms of childhood and adulthood. Together, we unpack the concept of "code switching" as teenagers navigate varying rules and values in each parent's home. Mike offers actionable advice on establishing consistent routines, helping parents create a supportive environment amidst familial shifts.
As we explore the journey of parenting through divorce, Mike sheds light on the challenges of rebuilding self-esteem and identity when an ex-partner's influence might be negative. Emphasizing the transition from nurturing young children to guiding teenagers, we discuss the PACE method, which fosters emotional regulation, accountability, and empathy. The marathon metaphor serves as a reminder that the parenting journey focuses on supporting teenagers into adulthood without seeking personal accolades, helping them develop good judgment and a robust sense of identity.
Empathy and collaboration emerge as vital themes in improving communication and reducing conflict, particularly with ex-spouses and teenagers returning from visits. Mike shares strategies to avoid defensiveness and foster open dialogue through curiosity and empathy. We stress the importance of appreciation over admiration and encourage self-reflection to nurture stronger relationships. For those seeking further guidance, Mike offers resources and strategy sessions through PresenceSolutionsForParents.com. Engaging deeply with these insights can transform the parenting experience, making it both rewarding and effective.
Unlock the secrets to protecting your child's emotional well-being amidst the turmoil of high-conflict divorce. Our guest, clinical psychologist Dave Marcus, sheds light on the profound psychological effects parental disputes can have on children of all ages. From toddlers who internalize parental tension to teenagers caught in the crossfire, discover how these dynamics shape a child's identity and mental health. Dave shares a heart-wrenching case of a former child client who carried the scars of parental conflict into adulthood, underscoring the urgency of creating a nurturing environment for children to express their emotions safely.
Explore the complexities of divided loyalty and the troubling phenomena of parent alienation syndrome that can arise during custody battles. Dave provides invaluable insights into recognizing warning signs and the critical role of early intervention, including child therapy and reunification strategies, in mending fractured relationships. We discuss the challenges presented by parents with narcissistic tendencies and stress the importance of accountability in preventing further emotional harm to children. With real-life examples, these conversations emphasize the necessity of prioritizing the child's best interests above all else.
Gain a deeper understanding of how parental relationships, even those marred by conflict, deeply impact a child's development and emotional health. Dave delves into the nuanced emotional landscapes of children, explaining how love and hate can coexist in delicate balance. Strategies for breaking destructive patterns are discussed, equipping parents with tools to foster healthier family dynamics. Discover effective communication techniques that can transform family interactions, drawing on Dave's expertise and his book "Parent Rx," to help families navigate high-conflict situations with compassion and clarity.
Join us as we welcome the insightful Theresa Inman, a board-certified behavior analyst, who sheds light on the complexities of aggressive behavior in children, especially within high-conflict divorces. Theresa brings her extensive experience to the table, explaining how children often mirror the behaviors they observe, sometimes resulting in aggression. We explore the misconceptions around children's innate understanding of behavior and stress the importance of mindful exposure to adult actions, media, and language for guiding children towards positive development.
Throughout our discussion, we tackle the sensitive topics of domestic violence and its profound impact on children. Theresa shares personal stories and expert insights, emphasizing the crucial need for love, security, and authenticity in a child's environment. We question the controversial advice for co-parents to present a united front while highlighting the importance of transparent communication to foster a sense of safety and trust. This conversation is not just about identifying problems but also offering practical strategies, such as seeking professional guidance and modeling healthy conflict resolution, to empower parents and children alike.
The episode wraps up by celebrating the supportive relationship between Theresa and myself, underlining our shared commitment to helping individuals navigate their challenges. We express deep gratitude for each other's contributions and look forward to further collaborations. By sharing our experiences and insights, we aim to provide listeners with valuable tools and encouragement in facing similar situations, ultimately strengthening family bonds and promoting healthy emotional expression.
Join us as we engage in a thought-provoking conversation with Stacey Womack, the visionary founder and executive director of Abuse Recovery Ministry and Services (ARMS). Stacey shares her invaluable insights into domestic violence intervention programs, shedding light on how these initiatives aim to help individuals, primarily men, recognize and change abusive behaviors by altering their underlying belief systems. We address prevalent misconceptions about abusers, emphasizing that domestic violence cuts across socioeconomic, racial, and religious lines. Stacey also outlines the various pathways individuals take to enter these programs, noting that a significant portion are court-ordered, while others are motivated by family or community encouragement. Our discussion underscores the importance of accountability and prioritizing victim safety within these interventions, revealing the complexities of fostering change in individuals who may not initially see themselves as the problem.
Additionally, we explore the dynamics of male-female co-facilitation in domestic violence programs, particularly in Oregon, highlighting the benefits of presenting both masculine and feminine perspectives in therapeutic settings. By modeling healthy relationships and shared power, facilitators provide participants with a balanced partnership example. Our conversation delves into the challenges and indicators of progress among group members, stressing the importance of accountability and recognizing personal choices in behavior. Stacey explains the structure and duration of these programs, which typically last around 48 weeks, with ongoing aftercare support available. We also touch on the potential setbacks some individuals face post-program and celebrate the rewarding stories of those who successfully integrate the lessons learned into new, healthier relationships. Listen in as we uncover the impactful work being done to transform lives and foster lasting change.
How does the court system handle the delicate issue of one parent turning their children against the other during a contentious divorce? Discover the insights of Jonathan Breeden, a divorce attorney with decades of experience, as he unravels the complexities of high-conflict co-parenting. With a focus on parental alienation, Jonathan shares stories and strategies that highlight the need for effective communication and resolution, both in and out of the courtroom. You'll gain a better understanding of the limitations of legal interventions and the importance of proactive approaches to protect family dynamics and children's well-being.
Jonathan's journey from a fierce litigator to a resolution-focused attorney provides a unique perspective on the evolving landscape of divorce law. He emphasizes the importance of efficiency, communication, and the role of younger attorneys in fostering amicable resolutions. While most divorces can conclude within months, he acknowledges the heavy toll of prolonged high-conflict cases on families. His free book, "Divorce Law in North Carolina: What You Need to Know," offers further insights into these challenges, helping listeners navigate their own journeys with informed strategies.
Uncover the lasting impact of high-conflict divorces on children through poignant anecdotes and expert advice. From managing children's expressed preferences in custody battles to dealing with the repercussions of parental lifestyles, Jonathan sheds light on the intricate challenges parents face in court. Gain valuable knowledge on crafting effective parenting plans, managing high-conflict communication, and addressing issues like substance abuse and domestic violence. This episode is a comprehensive guide for those seeking to maintain healthy co-parenting relationships while safeguarding their children's emotional health.
Join us for an inspiring conversation with Jackie Zamora, a talented Dominican dancer from Brooklyn, New York, as she shares her journey of founding Zam Dance, a transformative dance program for individuals with disabilities. Listen in as Jackie opens up about her personal experiences with mental abuse during childhood, which led her to seek solace and healing through dance. Jackie emphasizes the importance of expressing pain through creative outlets and how dance can provide a sense of safety, helping individuals overcome feelings of emptiness and loss. We also explore the challenges children, particularly those with disabilities, face in expressing their emotions, and the crucial roles that love and understanding play in their healing process.
In this engaging episode, Jackie discusses how her program, ZAMDANZ, creates a supportive community where children with disabilities can feel accepted and express themselves through music and dance. With a focus on the therapeutic power of Latin music genres like merengue, Jackie highlights the joy and acceptance that children experience within this welcoming space. We also touch upon the positive impact on parents, who find camaraderie and identity beyond caregiving in the "ZAM moms" community. As Jackie shares her aspirations to expand ZAMDANZ globally, she invites listeners to connect with her online and explore the profound human connection dance offers. Don't miss this opportunity to experience the energy and passion that Jackie brings to the world through her innovative program.
Anastasia Arauz, a seasoned co-parenting counselor, joins us to unravel the complex world of co-parenting during high-conflict divorces and custody battles. Through her expert lens, Anastasia demystifies common misconceptions and fears, such as confronting an ex-partner in counseling or doubting the effectiveness of these sessions. She clarifies the nuanced differences between the roles of a parenting coordinator and a co-parenting counselor, highlighting the essential focus on addressing underlying beliefs and values in parenting. Anastasia emphasizes the critical importance of self-awareness and setting boundaries as foundational steps before embarking on co-parenting counseling, always with the children's well-being as the ultimate priority.
Listeners can expect a thoughtful exploration of effective strategies for co-parenting, underscored by the necessity of structured goals and open-mindedness. We delve into the logistical and emotional challenges parents face when their opinions clash and how, at times, legal intervention may be unavoidable. Anastasia provides valuable insights into the impact of co-parenting decisions on children's well-being, addressing often overlooked issues like diet and schooling. As we wrap up, she urges parents to shift their focus from past relationships to creating a healthy environment for their kids, offering additional support via her Instagram and website for those navigating these challenging dynamics.
Amanda McCoy Flanagan, an award-winning author, writing coach, and grief recovery expert, joins us to unpack the tangled emotions tied to grief and personal empowerment. Amanda shares her wisdom on navigating the emotional labyrinth of high-conflict situations like divorce and toxic relationships, where guilt often shadows the path to healing. With her guidance, we challenge ourselves to view writing as a therapeutic process—transforming our pain into narratives of purpose and self-discovery. Amanda illuminates the journey of turning loss into a significant catalyst for personal growth and celebrates the resilience within the human spirit, encouraging us to embrace healing as a continuous journey rather than a final destination.
Together, we explore the transformative potential of facing pain head-on, revealing how the process can unlock emotional maturity and authenticity. Amanda sheds light on the importance of addressing unresolved childhood wounds to break recurring relational patterns, ultimately leading to healthier connections in our lives. As we discuss the adventure of rediscovering one's self-worth post-relationship, Amanda offers practical tools for overcoming fear and stepping into self-awareness. From building supportive communities to crafting a "greater gratitude list," this episode provides listeners with the resources needed to navigate the complexities of grief and emerge more empowered than ever before.
Uncover essential strategies for navigating the intricate and emotionally charged world of childhood sexual assault allegations within the context of separation and custody disputes. We promise you'll gain invaluable insights from our guest, Brian, a seasoned trial attorney from Greenberg Gross, who shares his extensive expertise in handling these sensitive cases. His guidance is indispensable for those confronting the heartbreaking reality of abuse allegations, particularly when they're intertwined with the complexities of family litigation.
With careful attention to the crucial legal steps involved, our discussion guides you through responding to child abuse allegations. We emphasize the importance of believing and supporting the child, and outline how to engage effectively with law enforcement and Child Protective Services. Our conversation highlights the vital role of documentation and specialized police departments in safeguarding the child’s well-being. This episode ensures clarity in navigating this challenging legal landscape, equipping families with the knowledge to protect their most vulnerable members.
We also explore the unsettling realm of child grooming and manipulation by perpetrators, looking at the tactics used to gain a child's trust and silence them. Recognizing these signs is crucial for parents and guardians, and our discussion offers practical advice for vigilance and action. By focusing on advocacy, trauma recovery, and the role of specialized therapy, we aim to empower families to support and heal survivors. This episode serves as both a guide and a source of hope, directing listeners toward resources that can assist in the healing journey.
Unlock the secrets to rebuilding trust and nurturing healthy relationships with insights from psychotherapist Tami Kiekhaefer. Discover how to navigate the emotional turmoil after betrayal and trauma, as Tami illuminates the often-overlooked feelings of self-blame and societal pressure to move on too quickly. Gain invaluable guidance on why connections to past partners linger and how to acknowledge your current emotional state without succumbing to unrealistic expectations.
Explore the intricate art of setting boundaries and fostering self-trust. Tami delves into how early experiences shape our ability to trust ourselves and others, offering practical strategies to break free from toxic cycles. Learn about the "permission slip plan," a transformative tool to reclaim your independence and empower decision-making. By aligning intuition with action, you can build the foundation for healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
Understand the role of fear as a driver in relationship dynamics and conflict resolution. Tami shares profound insights on recognizing these fears to prevent personalizing a partner's actions and reducing reactive behavior. This episode emphasizes the significance of self-work and identifying one’s "why" in persistent patterns, encouraging listeners to embrace personal growth. Through personal stories and resources, uncover how to attract healthier partners and create lasting change in your relationship journey.
Can navigating the choppy waters of co-parenting truly be harmonious, especially when dealing with a toxic ex? Join us as we promise eye-opening insights and practical solutions with parenting coach Jeanine Mouchawar. In this episode, we unravel the complex dynamics of co-parenting where differing backgrounds and expectations often collide. Jeanine draws from her vast experience with single moms and contentious divorces to guide us in managing expectations for the sake of our children. She offers a candid look at the harsh truth that not all parents prioritize their children's best interests, emphasizing what we, as parents, can control in these challenging journeys.
Our discussion further explores the emotional rollercoaster when children are caught in the crossfire of conflicting parental narratives. Jeanine shares effective strategies to validate our children's feelings while encouraging open communication and critical thinking. The emotional toll when children mimic negative traits of an ex-partner is acknowledged, with supportive guidance offered to help parents cope. Finally, we invite you to connect more deeply with your children using a free resource from Jeanine's website, featuring questions designed to spark meaningful dialogue and strengthen relationships. You won't want to miss this insightful conversation loaded with practical advice and valuable resources.
Can social media really make or break a family law case? Listen as we uncover the power of digital footprints with Jacqy Dougherty from XG Consultants Group, a leading global private investigation firm. Jacqy explores the surprising ways social media is used to reveal discrepancies in court testimonies, unfit parenting, and concealed finances. With tales of mysterious multiple profiles and unexpected courtroom revelations, this episode promises insights into the investigative strategies that leverage online behavior to paint a complete picture in complex legal scenarios.
Join us to unravel the ethical and strategic intricacies of private investigations, especially in sensitive issues like suspected infidelity and custody battles. Jacqy shares compelling stories from the field, from a husband monitoring his wife with electronic devices to failed attempts at proving illegal activities in an exotic club. We shed light on the importance of hiring a reputable, accredited firm for such delicate matters, and how a private investigator’s findings can be pivotal in encouraging mediation and preventing public exposure. Discover the diverse services offered by XG Consultants Group and learn why due diligence is crucial when choosing investigative services.
Join us for a transformative discussion with Sue Donnellan, a multi-entrepreneur, mom of four, and insightful parenting coach, as we explore the complex world of parenting through challenging situations such as divorces and custody battles. We examine effective strategies for navigating these turbulent times, emphasizing the importance of trusting parental instincts over misdiagnosing children's behaviors. Sue sheds light on the concept of victimization, its adverse effects, and how labeling children can lead to self-fulfilling prophecies. Together, we unpack the drama triangle and the crucial role of parental accountability in shaping children's actions and perceptions, highlighting the need for parents to reflect on their own experiences and behaviors.
In the second part of our conversation, we explore the significance of building trust and connection in parenting to help children develop strong decision-making skills. Sue shares her personal journey and strategies, such as spending intentional one-on-one time with each child and recognizing their individual interests. Discover practical methods for fostering a foundation of trust that can guide children through life's stages, and hear insights from Sue's book, ""Secrets to Parenting Without Giving a Fuck."" Whether you're a parent or simply interested in understanding the nuances of effective parenting, this episode promises valuable perspectives and actionable advice for creating lasting bonds with your children.
Discover the transformative power of understanding family dynamics during high-conflict divorces in our latest episode, featuring insights from Adam Barta, a seasoned licensed clinical social worker. We promise you'll gain a new perspective on the importance of examining the entire family's environment rather than singling out a child's behavior in therapy. Adam takes us on a journey through the crucial elements of a trauma-informed approach, emphasizing the need to validate children's experiences as normal reactions to their circumstances, and shares his dedication to making mental health services accessible to everyone.
Our conversation delves into the intricate world of co-parenting amid high-conflict separations, shedding light on the hurdles of fostering genuine collaboration between divorced parents for the benefit of their children. Together with Adam, we highlight the significance of legal accountability and the role of court systems in ensuring compliance with therapeutic recommendations. The episode also examines the utility of co-parenting plans and the profound impact of self-awareness as parents navigate their roles in ongoing conflicts. This discussion calls for a blend of resources, personal accountability, and legal frameworks to achieve effective co-parenting.
Finally, we tackle the sensitive issue of parental behavior's impact on children, exploring the long-term consequences of one parent demonizing the other. The importance of allowing children to form unbiased, healthy relationships with both parents is underscored, along with the need to humanize the other parent despite personal grievances. We also introduce a ""Roadmap to Understanding Family Dynamics and Service Interventions,"" aimed at guiding parents, attorneys, and therapists through the tumultuous terrain of divorce. By the end of the episode, you'll have gained valuable insights into the complexities of custody, co-parenting challenges, and the pivotal role of teaching children resilience and adaptability as they grow into adulthood.
Fraud expert Kelly Todd takes us into the shadowy world of financial betrayal and deception. As a seasoned forensic accountant, Kelly shares invaluable insights into how financial abuse often infiltrates relationships, particularly during the tumultuous time of divorce. She uncovers the psychology of a fraudster, illustrating how the dynamics of financial control can lead to a cascade of rationalizations and deceit. Kelly’s mission is clear: empower individuals with the knowledge and tools they need to recognize the early warning signs of financial betrayal, safeguarding themselves before it’s too late.
In our engaging discussion, we underscore the critical importance of maintaining financial awareness in relationships to thwart potential fraud. Kelly delves into the risks of unequal financial power and knowledge between partners, offering listeners a roadmap to identify red flags, such as unexplained financial shortages or suspicious transactions. The conversation also navigates the modern landscape of cryptocurrencies and digital payments, which have become fertile ground for financial manipulation. Kelly emphasizes the need for meticulous financial records, especially during the emotional upheaval of a divorce, as a means to protect oneself in uncertain times.
Wrapping up our enlightening episode, Kelly offers practical strategies for ensuring financial transparency and asset protection, both in marriage and the challenging aftermath of divorce. She shares the significance of being actively involved in financial matters and trusting one’s instincts if something seems amiss. From uncovering hidden assets to incorporating protective language in divorce agreements, her expertise shines through. Kelly's personal anecdotes and proactive advice are a treasure trove for anyone looking to safeguard their financial future. Connect with Kelly on social media for more of her insightful tips and advice in this ever-evolving realm of fraud prevention.
Join us as we navigate the complex world of student loans and credit management during a divorce, featuring insights from Angela Kim, known as Angela the Credit Boss. Discover how divorce can unexpectedly damage your credit score, even without a contentious split, due to shared financial responsibilities like co-signing on student loans or mortgages.
Angela shares a critical revelation about student loans: each semester constitutes a separate loan, meaning you could have multiple loans per child on your credit report. She also introduces the Parent PLUS Loan, a federal loan for your child's education that impacts only the parent's credit. Angela suggests a strategic approach to splitting loan responsibilities by alternating years between parents, helping to ensure a fair distribution of the financial burden. Listen in as we discuss the importance of maintaining good credit as a financial safety net during and after a divorce. Drawing a parallel between medical and financial health, we stress the need to stay vigilant with on-time payments and the benefits of using tools like auto-pay to manage multiple loans.
Angela offers practical advice on using tools like Google Calendar to keep track of payments and due dates, emphasizing personal accountability during financial transitions. With her expertise, Angela provides invaluable guidance on managing your finances and credit effectively, ensuring you're well-prepared for life's changes. Connect with Angela through phone, text, email, or Instagram for further assistance on streamlining your financial responsibilities.
Years ago, Susie found herself amidst the emotional storm of a high-conflict divorce, grappling with the feelings of shame and regret that came with it. Now, as a mental health coach for women, she joins us to share her learned wisdom and practical advice on navigating such tumultuous times. From establishing boundaries to focusing on what we can control, Susie’s insights empower us to reclaim our mental and physical health, even when ex-partners attempt to weaponize our children against us.
Our conversation touches on the often-overlooked life skills essential for thriving under stress, such as emotional regulation and boundary-setting. We explore how shifting away from rigid expectations can foster a more harmonious self-relationship and alleviate the unnecessary suffering caused by self-blame. With Susie's guidance, we unravel the complexities of co-parenting with empathy, focusing on healing and personal growth rather than getting entangled in an ex's irrational behavior, ultimately leading to more positive interactions and personal happiness.
Finally, we delve into the multifaceted role of parenting through emotional intelligence, emphasizing the importance of teaching resilience and setting healthy boundaries. Susie introduces valuable resources for those navigating narcissistic relationships, including a supportive online community and practical parenting classes. Through these discussions, we aim to instill hope and encouragement, guiding our listeners toward emotional well-being and positive change.
Trauma therapist Dr. Rebecca Vazquez joins us to unravel the intricate links between anxiety, our physical bodies, and the mind, with a special focus on the influential vagus nerve. She introduces us to the "drop three" technique, a simple yet effective method for alleviating anxiety by relaxing the jaw, shoulders, and hands to signal safety to the body. Throughout our conversation, Dr. Vazquez offers invaluable advice on staying grounded in high-stress situations, like using sensory items to maintain composure, and highlights the calming power of familiar scents. Our discussion takes a deeper turn as we examine the often misunderstood emotions of anger and trauma, especially within marginalized communities.
Dr. Vazquez provides insight into how anger can be a constructive force, akin to a brick that builds rather than destroys when managed properly. We also explore the nature of trauma, which, beyond dramatic events, can stem from prolonged emotional neglect. The concept of the "window of tolerance" is shared, offering listeners a framework for understanding the nervous system's response to stress and the importance of processing emotions within a manageable range. The healing journey continues with an exploration of bilateral stimulation's role in recovery.
Dr. Vazquez explains how activities like running and dancing can help process subconscious thoughts and emotions. We touch on the therapeutic power of EMDR, voice, and writing as tools for personal healing. As we conclude, we celebrate a heartwarming moment of international connection, receiving greetings from Poland, which reminds us of the power of virtual interactions to unite people across the globe. Dr. Vazquez’s insights and her work at SANA Counseling and Consulting promise to leave a lasting impression on listeners seeking healing and empowerment.
After enduring the turmoil of domestic violence, Shanay Fulton found herself navigating the unpredictable world of homelessness, a journey that ultimately led her to happiness and advocacy. She joins us to share her inspiring story, offering a raw and authentic look at the intricate challenges faced by domestic violence survivors, particularly the relentless cycle of financial instability and lack of secure housing. Shanay's personal experiences provide insight into the expanded definition of domestic violence under Jennifer's Law and challenge the often-insensitive question, "Why don't you just leave?" Together, we explore the harsh realities of navigating shelter systems and housing for mothers and families fleeing abusive situations.
Shanay, a dedicated advocate and nonprofit director, dispels myths about the accessibility of shelters and delves into the critical factors—such as location, financial stability, and transportation—that influence a safe escape plan. Her poignant stories highlight the need for safety measures in transitional housing and underscore the unique challenges that families, particularly those with teenage boys, face in the shelter system. Our conversation turns to the emotional and legal battles within the family court system, where Shanay's resilience shines through. Despite the heart-wrenching custody disputes and the financial toll of legal proceedings, her journey illustrates a powerful narrative of hope and community empowerment.
Through her advocacy, Shanay has found unexpected opportunities for growth, inspiring others to transform personal struggles into pathways for change. Join us as we celebrate her remarkable achievements and unwavering determination to build a brighter future for her and her children.
Growing up, P and her sister faced the unimaginable reality of being separated from their mother, entangled in a web spun by their father's manipulation and control. This episode sheds light on the darker side of the family court system that often overlooks the subtle yet profound impact of legal and emotional abuse. P bravely shares her story, revealing the struggles of living under the constant surveillance and authoritarian grip of her father, despite the court's failure to recognize his abusive past.
Through her narrative, we underscore the critical need for systems to identify and address abusive dynamics that extend beyond the immediate spousal relationship, affecting the young lives caught in the crossfire. As we navigate P's journey, the conversation turns to the emotional scars of guilt and isolation that can distort a child's understanding of love and responsibility. We discuss how P's father's tactics left her grappling with self-worth and trust issues, a common experience for those who grow up in similarly manipulative environments. The impact of parental favoritism and neglect is laid bare, illustrating how these dynamics can fracture a child's sense of identity and belonging. These themes resonate deeply with our listeners, who share their own battles with familial manipulation, offering a sense of solidarity and understanding.
Finally, we explore the path to healing and reconnection, a journey paved with patience, self-reflection, and courage. P's story of reuniting with her mother serves as a beacon of hope, demonstrating that even after years of separation, broken familial bonds can be mended. This transformation is not without its challenges, but it highlights the power of making reconciliation a personal choice. We invite listeners to find inspiration in these stories, encouraging those facing similar struggles to seek the support and understanding necessary to foster their own healing journeys.
What happens when a parent's portrayal of love is skewed by manipulation and deceit? Join us as we explore the tumultuous journey of A, a young adult who courageously shares her story of growing up amidst parental alienation, divorce, and domestic violence. A's father painted her mother in an unflattering light, affecting A's and her sister's perceptions and mental health. We uncover the emotional manipulation they faced, the depression they battled, and the hidden truths they were forced to accept, all while struggling to communicate in an environment that discouraged personal opinions.
The narrative takes a transformative turn as A embarks on a journey of self-discovery and healing. At 17, therapy became A’s lifeline, helping her see through the toxic dynamics that her father had ingrained. The barriers began to break as journaling and reflection allowed her to reconnect with her mother and reshape her understanding of her family. This episode is packed with insights into the complexities of family relationships and the courage required to face painful truths and work towards reconciliation. As A and her sister make the bold decision to leave their father's house, they step into a new chapter of rebuilding connections with their mother.
This episode highlights the challenges of overcoming deeply rooted resentments and ingrained beliefs, emphasizing the importance of critical thinking and self-awareness. A's heartfelt gratitude for the openness and support she received serves as a beacon of hope for others navigating similar situations. Join us for a powerful conversation that inspires courage, healing, and the transformative power of self-discovery.
Transform your approach to managing your finances during a divorce by joining our insightful conversation with Nancy Rossner, our returning expert! Learn about the upsides and potential pitfalls of various tax filing options, such as filing jointly versus separately. Nancy shares her wisdom on balancing the benefits of joint filing, like larger deductions, against the risks of shared tax liabilities. Meanwhile, separate filing might protect you from potential debts but could mean losing out on some valuable credits. With professional guidance, especially in complex divorces, you can achieve a favorable financial outcome.
Our discussion deepens as we explore critical tax considerations related to children amidst divorce proceedings. Discover the intricacies of child-related tax credits, including the earned income tax credit, which follows the child and can't be transferred between parents. Nancy advises on strategic negotiations around dependent claims, emphasizing the importance of clear language in divorce agreements. By meticulously tracking parenting time and incorporating these tax aspects into parenting plans, you can safeguard your financial and legal clarity.
Finally, empower yourself with practical strategies to maximize tax credits and protect your finances during challenging times. Nancy shares essential tips on maintaining accurate records and resolving disputes when both parents claim the same child. We highlight resources like low-income taxpayer clinics, the IRS's Volunteer Income Tax Assistance program, and the Taxpayer Advocate Service. With this comprehensive toolkit, you'll be better equipped to navigate the complexities of tax filing during a divorce, reclaiming your financial power and ensuring a secure future for you and your children.
What if navigating the often turbulent waters of divorce could actually lead to empowerment and personal growth? Join us on a transformative journey as we sit down with Chloe, a certified divorce coach from London and a key member of the Amicable Divorce Network, who unveils her new book, "Don't Screw Up Your Divorce." Chloe shares invaluable insights on how to maintain control and make informed decisions during this challenging life transition.
We explore the unique hurdles faced by expats and international families and contrast Chloe's amicable approach with our own experiences in high-conflict divorces. Chloe's expertise sheds light on how emotional preparation and the right information can help prevent common mistakes and potential conflicts. Our conversation takes an insightful turn as we discuss the delicate subject of discussing divorce with children and other stakeholders. It's crucial to manage expectations and approach the process with a clear understanding of reality, rather than harboring hopes for emotionally charged legal battles. Chloe and I focus on the importance of thoughtful communication with children, recognizing the differing needs based on their developmental stages. We also delve into the impact of divorce on adult children, who may feel blindsided and experience shifts in their perception of family stability. Understanding these dynamics is key to navigating these discussions with compassion and foresight.
We also explore the wealth of support resources available to individuals undergoing divorce. Chloe introduces us to a range of alternatives to traditional divorce proceedings, such as mediation and collaborative law, offering pathways to less painful and more cost-effective outcomes. We highlight the importance of strategic financial planning and selecting the right professional support to maintain control over the situation. Wrapping up the episode, we express our gratitude for Chloe's valuable contributions and wish her continued success with her book and future endeavors.
Unlock the secrets to rebuilding your credit and safeguarding your financial future with the expert guidance of financial advisor Derrick Diksa. As life's transitions—such as leaving a toxic relationship or going through a divorce—can wreak havoc on your credit score, Derrick shares practical strategies to navigate these challenges. Learn how to avoid the common pitfalls of store credit cards and understand the significance of your role in joint accounts. By mastering these insights, you can protect and enhance your credit standing during even the most tumultuous times.
Navigate the credit score labyrinth post-divorce with Derrick’s essential advice on securing favorable auto loan and mortgage terms. He sheds light on the repercussions of mortgage delinquencies and the crucial steps to correct credit report errors before they snowball into bigger problems. Uncover the truth about closing unused credit cards and why it might not be the best move for your FICO score. Derrick also breaks down how frequent card activity might be perceived by lenders, ensuring you make well-informed credit decisions without compromising your financial profile.
Arm yourself against financial fraud and identity theft with advanced protection measures. Derrick explains why credit cards offer superior security compared to debit cards, emphasizing the benefits of liability protection and reward points. Discover the power of credit freezes and fraud alerts as Derrick walks you through the steps to secure your credit against unauthorized actions. With his expert insights, learn how to obtain and audit your free credit report, ensuring your financial history is both accurate and secure. Don’t miss out on these vital tips that could safeguard your finances today and in the future.
Unlock the secrets to overcoming betrayal and harness the power of hypnosis with our expert guest, Leszek Erasmus. Ever wondered how a simple shift in perspective might transform your emotional landscape after a painful betrayal? Join us as Leszek, a double-certified life coach and consultant hypnotist from Portland, Oregon, shares his profound insights and personal experiences. You'll learn about the deep emotional wounds betrayal can cause, the challenges that arise, and the transformative healing potential hypnosis offers. Leszek emphasizes the importance of not feeling isolated or ashamed, offering hope and empowerment as antidotes to the turmoil.
Explore how hypnosis can help reclaim a sense of security and control, particularly when dealing with systemic challenges like an unsupportive justice system. Leszek introduces us to the innovative "movie theater" method, a technique that allows individuals to view their experiences from a new vantage point, encouraging reinterpretation and healing. This powerful approach helps people shift focus away from negative thought patterns and fosters a mindset of resilience and strength, which is invaluable in adversarial situations such as court hearings. Leszek's expertise provides a roadmap to regaining inner safety and authority, allowing you to manage feelings of powerlessness and anger effectively.
Discover practical stress relief and grounding techniques that can be employed discreetly in any situation. Leszek shares methods like tensing and relaxing muscles and the touch-based practice of "havening," which, when paired with breathing exercises and positive affirmations, lower stress levels significantly. These techniques not only calm the mind but also reduce the fight-or-flight response, enhancing well-being. As we conclude this enriching session, Leszek's dedication and knowledge shine through, offering invaluable insights for anyone seeking to navigate the emotional aftermath of betrayal and embrace a more empowered future.
What happens when unchecked emotions walk into a family courtroom? Discover the insights of Mia Poppe, a vibrant New York City matrimonial attorney, as we navigate the nuances of managing reactivity in family court settings. With a focus on strategic communication and the subtleties of body language, Mia offers critical advice on understanding court culture and aligning with judicial expectations. Uncover the strategies in our new course, "From Fear to Fierce in Family Court," which aims to equip you with the skills to communicate effectively with a challenging ex, particularly in the throes of dealing with narcissistic abusers.
Venturing into the often tumultuous world of co-parenting with a narcissistic partner, we delve into personal experiences and professional insights. Explore the emotional whirlwind and courtroom dynamics faced when dealing with manipulative ex-partners, and learn why genuine emotional expression can be a powerful ally. We underscore the critical importance of managing reactivity and embracing personal healing for the sake of children's well-being. Accepting the challenges of dealing with a narcissist can lead to resilience, effective co-parenting, and more favorable legal resolutions.
We wrap up by exploring the power of mindset when tackling family court issues involving an abusive co-parent. By avoiding negative online spaces and focusing instead on positive resolutions and effective communication, we can build a healthier legal journey. Learn about the tools and platforms that aid in drafting legal motions, connecting with calm professionals, and mastering courtroom presentation. With insights into strategic communication and the importance of maintaining one's values, this episode is a guide to navigating the tricky waters of family court with poise and purpose.
Unlock the secrets to navigating the complex world of family law with insights from Yoni Levoritz, a seasoned New York City attorney. Our conversation sheds light on the thorny issues surrounding relocations and parenting plans, including the hidden pitfalls of moving away from a noncustodial parent and how economic factors can influence custody outcomes. Yoni shares a remarkable case study where a denied relocation was reversed on appeal by honing in on the child's best interests and economic necessity. His practical advice serves as a guiding light for those facing similar legal hurdles, ensuring you are well-equipped to protect your family's needs.
Transitioning to pressing matters of child therapy and educational planning, we explore strategies to smoothly navigate these sensitive topics within the family court system. Yoni emphasizes the crucial need for therapy, particularly during tumultuous family changes, and how to overcome potential court hesitations regarding therapy for young children. We also unravel the intricacies of college planning, highlighting the importance of a pro-rata split based on income for fair financial contributions. This discussion aims to arm you with the knowledge to create a comprehensive parenting plan that anticipates future educational needs and supports your child's emotional well-being.
The episode concludes with a thorough examination of enforcing parenting plans and the repercussions of non-compliance, from child support to maintaining open communication channels. Yoni offers advice on responding to blocked visitations and dealing with parental alienation, ensuring that you can effectively uphold your rights and responsibilities. We also touch on the importance of including provisions for privacy and handling contentious situations with care. As the conversation wraps up, Yoni shares how listeners can reach out for further legal guidance and resources, reinforcing his commitment to supporting families through their most challenging times.
Join us for an insightful discussion with Jeff Kaplan, a seasoned divorce attorney from New York City, as we explore the critical dynamics of building a strong attorney-client relationship, especially in high-conflict divorce and custody cases. Jeff shares his expertise on why this relationship is sacred and how a good lawyer should know their client's life details intimately, often better than the client themselves. We address common misconceptions about attorney responsibilities and highlight the importance of clients being proactive and well-informed to ensure effective representation. Jeff offers anecdotes and practical advice to help listeners understand the mutual responsibilities necessary for a successful legal partnership.
As we navigate the intricacies of family law, Jeff sheds light on the dynamics between opposing counsels and how these relationships can benefit clients. We emphasize the value of cooperation and ethical practice, showcasing how having cooperative professionals on both sides can lead to efficient resolutions and prevent costly litigation. Jeff shares personal experiences and strategies for dealing with challenging opposing counsel, underscoring the importance of aiming for out-of-court settlements whenever possible to protect clients' interests.
Communication is a key theme in this episode, with a focus on strategic communication in family law cases. Jeff discusses the importance of presenting a reasonable stance in court and how documenting efforts to resolve issues amicably can benefit clients. We touch on effective communication strategies, including avoiding impulsive actions that could harm one's case, and introduce practical tools to support clients' legal representation. Jeff also highlights the necessity of honesty and preparation in legal cases, preparing clients for tough questions in custody trials, and the significance of thorough preparation to build credibility with judges. Listen in as we provide practical advice for navigating the complexities of family law and ensuring a strong legal partnership.
Join us for a powerful exploration of grief and healing from toxic relationships, featuring Jessica, a licensed clinical social worker with a wealth of experience in psychotherapy and hospice care. Together, we shed light on the complexities of grieving a toxic relationship, especially in the context of divorce. Grief is not solely tied to the death of a loved one; it encompasses any significant loss, including the end of a romantic relationship. Jessica offers valuable insights into trauma bonding, likening it to an addiction, and discusses the concept of "Hoovering," where an abusive partner attempts to draw someone back into the toxic cycle. Listen as we validate the guilt many feel for missing an abusive partner and emphasize the importance of understanding these complicated emotions.
Our discussion continues with a focus on healing and self-discovery after leaving a toxic relationship. We share how journaling and therapy can be transformative tools in recognizing the truth of one's experiences and rebuilding one's life. Creating a new normal and engaging in self-care activities are crucial steps toward regaining a sense of self. We also highlight the impact of intergenerational trauma and the need to address personal contributions to unhealthy dynamics. Trust issues and the fear of new relationships are lasting effects of trauma, and we underscore the importance of not letting past experiences hinder future opportunities for intimacy and happiness.
Lastly, we examine the emotional aftermath of leaving a narcissistic partner, where grief extends beyond losing a person to include the loss of identity, community, and self-trust. By sharing personal stories and insights, we emphasize that being targeted by a manipulative partner is not a reflection of one's weakness but rather a testament to one's strength, empathy, and integrity. Listen in as we offer guidance on navigating high-conflict divorces, especially when children are used as pawns in custody disputes. We also discuss the impact of toxic relationships on family members, highlighting issues like parental and grandparental alienation. Join us as we prepare for an upcoming session on Valentine's Day, dedicated to supporting those affected by these challenging dynamics.
Tara, a seasoned legal nurse consultant with 25 years of experience, sheds light on the pivotal role nurses play in legal cases, particularly those involving children with special needs. Her expertise in reviewing medical records helps attorneys make sense of complex medical terms and diagnoses, often serving as a cornerstone in disputes where parents may disagree on a child's treatment. With her ability to extract critical information and collaborate with expert witnesses, Tara provides a unique perspective that strengthens legal arguments and ensures fairness in cases ranging from ADHD and depression to child abuse.
Our conversation explores the intricate process of medical records review and how legal nurses advocate for clients' health perspectives without stepping into the realm of practicing law. By maintaining strict confidentiality through attorney collaboration, Tara emphasizes the importance of keeping sensitive information protected while facilitating open communication within the legal team. This episode also highlights the strategic role of legal nurse consultants in preparing for court cases, offering insights into meticulous documentation processes and strategies to manage pre-testimony anxiety.
Beyond the legal intricacies, Tara underscores the supportive nature of legal nursing and its impact on individuals facing challenging medical and legal situations. Her team's dedication to providing expertise and emotional support is invaluable for those navigating diseases, disabilities, and transitions like divorce. With a focus on fostering strategic decision-making and reducing stress, Tara's approach exemplifies how legal nurses can be crucial allies in understanding and overcoming complex challenges. Connect with Tara on Instagram, LinkedIn, or her website to learn more about her comprehensive support services.
Parenting expert Clarissa joins us to unravel the myth of the perfect parent and provide a deeper understanding of how to navigate the complexities of raising children. She introduces her innovative Foundations of Connection framework, designed to aid parents in fostering better communication and building deeper connections with their children by creating a safe and non-judgmental environment. Together, we uncover the pervasive guilt and societal pressures that burden many parents, especially during difficult transitions like divorce and co-parenting, emphasizing the importance of focusing on genuine relationships rather than unattainable ideals.
We shed light on the emotional rollercoaster faced by parents going through divorce, particularly in high-conflict situations. Clarissa offers invaluable insights on embracing self-compassion and letting go of guilt, encouraging parents to focus on the quality of their time with children instead of quantity. By using techniques such as visualization to manage ruminating thoughts and creating new family traditions, parents can shift their focus forward, ensuring healthier family dynamics despite the challenges they face.
Effective communication and self-regulation take center stage as we discuss strategies for maintaining a calm and stable home environment, crucial for children transitioning between households. Clarissa provides practical advice on interacting with teenagers, emphasizing the importance of patience and understanding as they navigate their complex development. We explore the significance of active listening and empowering children with agency in conflict resolution, promoting collaboration and eliminating judgment to challenge the unrealistic myth of perfection in parenting.
Angela Kim, a renowned senior credit consultant and founding member of Credit Repair Boss, joins us to unravel the intricate role of credit during and after a divorce. Angela offers an expert analysis on maintaining good credit as a foundation for starting anew and achieving financial independence. She dispels common myths, such as the notion that closing old accounts can benefit credit scores, and underscores the vital role that a robust credit history plays in accessing opportunities like property renting or loan approval. Through her insights, Angela also highlights the often misunderstood relationship between income, savings, and credit scores, stressing the need for proactive credit management. This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating the tumultuous waters of divorce with their finances intact.
We also address the serious issue of identity theft, especially when it stems from vengeful ex-partners during a divorce. Angela sheds light on the potential for credit damage through unauthorized actions and discusses the legal avenues available for victims. We delve into the challenging scenarios of managing joint accounts and the financial irresponsibility of an ex-spouse, offering strategies to safeguard your credit health. The discussion also covers equitable financial arrangements for children's education post-divorce, setting the stage for our next session on supporting children financially after separation. Join us as we empower you with the knowledge to protect and rebuild your credit, even in the face of adversity.
Karen McMahon, the founder of Journey Beyond Divorce, joins us to share her profound insights on breaking free from the mental hold of a high-conflict ex-spouse. We discuss how ruminating on an ex-partner's behavior can cloud one's judgment during and after divorce, hindering the path to personal empowerment. Karen emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and compassion, guiding us toward true freedom that stems from within rather than legal proceedings. By recognizing our roles in past dynamics, we can reclaim control over our lives and make decisions aligned with our values.
We also shed light on the complex journey of rebuilding self-worth after enduring coercive control and domestic abuse. We explore the lasting impact such experiences have on self-identity and the hurdles faced in rediscovering one's values and goals. Through powerful personal stories and practical exercises, including listing 25 positive self-descriptors with help from trusted loved ones, we aim to help victims challenge ingrained negative beliefs. By encouraging listeners to step out of their comfort zones and seek affirmation from supportive individuals, we offer a path to healing and empowerment.
Finally, we explore how self-compassion and self-love can be transformative forces for those navigating high-conflict divorces. By understanding personal triggers, individuals can approach challenging situations like court appearances with renewed strength. Furthermore, we discuss the potential for personal crises to act as catalysts for growth, helping to break generational cycles of unhealthy relationships. We share updates from Journey Beyond Divorce, including a new website and a free guide to help listeners evict a toxic spouse from their mental space, aiming to support healthier family dynamics for future generations.
Join us as we explore the nuances of child-centered divorce with our insightful guest, Tracy Ann Moore Grant, the founder of the Amicable Divorce Network. Tracy shares her expertise on how emotions can cloud judgment during divorce proceedings, leading parents to prioritize personal outcomes over the well-being of their children. Discover the innovative approach of the Amicable Divorce Network, which focuses on guiding clients toward decisions that benefit their children while avoiding the pitfalls of lengthy court battles. With January being a peak month for divorce filings, Tracy emphasizes the importance of awareness and offers better options for those considering divorce.
Listen in as we address the critical impact of divorce on children, emphasizing that it's the conflict, not the divorce itself, that causes harm. Learn strategies to protect children, including avoiding negative behavior and utilizing the Amicable Divorce Network's vetted professionals to facilitate smoother transitions. We also highlight the value of alternative dispute resolution (ADR) processes, which prioritize child-centered values even when dealing with challenging personalities. This discussion sheds light on how experienced professionals can navigate difficult situations to reach amicable resolutions that prioritize the children's well-being.
Finally, we delve into the challenges of co-parenting, especially when dealing with addiction or mental health issues, and the benefits of therapy during these transitions. Discover the importance of involving children in activities that provide stability and how these can serve as neutral grounds for parents. Tracy introduces the exciting expansion of the Amicable Divorce Network, now available in the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom, and announces the upcoming release of their book, "Divorce Amicably: How to Save Your Time, Money, and Sanity Through Divorce," set to launch on March 25th. We encourage listeners to consider amicable divorce as a first option and thank our audience for their support in promoting harmonious resolutions.
Discover the transformative journey of Ralph Beaubrun, a Haitian-born dance studio owner in France, as he shares his incredible story of using dance to heal and inspire people worldwide. Ralph's journey from a family of artists in Haiti to becoming a beacon of joy through dance will captivate your heart. We explore the powerful role dance plays in overcoming toxic relationships and how rediscovering its joy can lead to personal growth and healing, inspired by figures like Judge Lynn Toler.
Explore the courageous transitions from conventional careers to the world of professional dance. Lisa shares her own leap from a stable engineering career to pursuing my passion for dance, alongside Ralph's similar journey. Facing countless challenges and defying societal expectations, we both found unexpected opportunities that led to our success in the creative world. This episode is a testament to the risks and rewards of following one's true passion.
Finally, we tackle misconceptions about dance and its accessibility to all, regardless of age, size, or experience. Hear about the inclusive spaces Ralph has created in his studios, where everyone finds a sense of belonging and joy. In a post-COVID world, dance offers invaluable mental health benefits, something we passionately discuss. Whether you're a seasoned dancer or just curious, you're invited to step into the world of dance and experience its profound impact on well-being.
Charlie McCready, an esteemed alienation coach from England, joins us to unpack the emotional turmoil of parental alienation, particularly during the holiday season. Often described as the "Bermuda Triangle" of holidays, these times can amplify feelings of loss and vulnerability for parents separated from their children. Our conversation offers heartfelt strategies for maintaining connection with children through gestures of love, such as gifts and messages, even in the face of adversity. We advocate for self-care and the importance of community, reminding parents that their presence and efforts are invaluable and seen by their children, regardless of circumstances.
This episode also takes a deep dive into the complexities of building and maintaining personal boundaries, especially within relationships involving narcissistic individuals. We discuss the nuances of self-worth and the power dynamics that often play out with narcissists. By sharing relatable anecdotes, we explore how to reclaim personal power, reprogram subconscious beliefs about self-worth, and foster healthier communication. It's a journey of embracing discomfort for growth, and we emphasize the role of assertiveness and clear boundaries in nurturing one's self-esteem and relationships.
As we wrap up, we celebrate the spirit of resilience and hope for parents facing legal and emotional battles. Our discussion underscores the significance of shifting focus from past grievances to envisioning a brighter future filled with strengthened bonds and personal empowerment. We share our appreciation for the supportive community we've cultivated, wishing everyone warmth and connection during the holidays. This episode is a heartfelt reminder that while the path may be challenging, the possibility of healing and renewed relationships remains within reach.
Mardi Winder-Adams, a seasoned divorce coach, opens up about the complexities of navigating high-conflict divorces in our latest episode. Specializing in cases involving challenging personalities like narcissists, Mardi shares her empathetic yet strategic approach to supporting women through tumultuous separations. The conversation highlights the necessity of assembling a strategic team—comprised of divorce attorneys, certified financial advisors, and realtors—to make informed decisions and mitigate the emotional toll of divorce. Mardi’s extensive experience underscores the emotional challenges of dealing with narcissists and offers listeners invaluable insights into safeguarding oneself and one’s family during these trying times.
Listeners will gain a fresh perspective on the importance of professional support in the divorce process, particularly the need for thoughtful decision-making that contrasts sharply with the often rushed approach people take towards divorce compared to their meticulously planned weddings. We emphasize the crucial role of selecting an attorney well-versed in high-conflict cases, as their expertise can alleviate stress and reduce the risk of prolonged disputes. Our discussion also touches upon the concept of positive and negative advocates; the former promotes collaboration and growth, while the latter can intensify conflicts.
As we explore strategies for navigating high-conflict divorces, trust emerges as a pivotal theme. Trusting your attorney’s advice, especially regarding communication with difficult partners, is crucial. Mardi shares valuable tools, such as Our Family Wizard, for maintaining safe and structured dialogue. We also discuss the importance of seeking advice from professionals rather than friends or family, who may offer outdated or irrelevant guidance. Listeners are encouraged to assert their entitlements confidently, be it spousal or child support, and to carefully consider the implications of retaining the family home post-divorce, ensuring a comprehensive understanding of mortgage qualifications and potential home inspection outcomes.
How do you navigate the stormy seas of co-parenting after trauma?" Join us as we tackle this pressing question with Katie from the UK-based Single Mama Club. Katie's dedication to empowering single mothers resonates through our engaging conversation, shedding light on the hurdles of parental alienation and post-separation challenges. Learn practical strategies for maintaining emotional resilience and financial stability in high-conflict divorces, and discover how prioritizing your child's well-being can transform even the most contentious situations.
Our discussion unravels the complexities of communication after domestic upheaval, emphasizing the need for emotional strength and positive interactions during child handovers. By sharing personal experiences, we offer a roadmap for becoming emotionally "bulletproof" in the face of past trauma. The episode underscores the value of self-reflection and healthy emotional processing, guiding listeners toward modeling integrity and resilience for their children, even amid legal and emotional turbulence.
Listeners will leave with actionable insights into fostering respectful co-parenting and setting boundaries, even when faced with challenging ex-partners. Explore the impact of triggers on personal growth and the importance of a supportive community in navigating co-parenting dynamics. As we conclude, Katie introduces an exciting new academy for continued learning and support, leaving you with a sense of empowerment and a path to thriving beyond the chaos.
What does the term "legal abuse" really mean, and how can it empower those lost in the complexities of the legal system? Our guest, social media sensation JayDee Milo, takes us on a journey of validation and understanding, shedding light on this often-overlooked issue. Known for his comedic videos featuring wigs, JayDee brings a unique perspective to the table, highlighting how language and education can transform personal struggles. Together, we delve into how naming our challenges, whether in mental health or legal battles, can bring clarity and strength to those who need it most.
Through raw and heartfelt stories, we explore the profound impact of addiction and redemption. Hear the candid narrative of a child's life shaped by the trials of a single mother battling addiction, culminating in a tragic yet powerful journey of loss and growth. This deeply personal account, including the speaker's own struggles with addiction, underscores a commitment to supporting single mothers and others facing similar adversities. By sharing these experiences, we aim to foster empathy and understanding, reminding listeners of the resilience found in community and shared experiences.
The episode also opens a conversation about the silent yet significant issue of reactive abuse, emphasizing the power of shared stories in healing. With touching narratives, we highlight the creation of supportive communities that offer solace and empowerment, particularly for single mothers navigating challenging circumstances. We address the importance of safe spaces for open dialogue, where individuals can find validation and connection without judgment. Through humor and creativity, we aim to uplift, heal, and build a network of understanding and strength, offering a vital reminder that no one is truly alone in their journey.
Can your gut health truly be influenced by trauma? Discover the profound connection between stress, gut health, and physical well-being with our special guest, Maisie Smith-Lovett, a holistic health practitioner and trauma healer. Maisie unravels how legal battles and strained relationships often keep our bodies locked in a perpetual fight-or-flight mode, disrupting our digestive system and overall health. Through her holistic approach, Maisie shares strategies to rebalance gut health and manage stress, paving the way for a more peaceful existence.
Balancing family, work, and personal well-being can seem daunting, but it’s not impossible. We shed light on the art of self-care for parents, emphasizing the importance of small, consistent practices to maintain both mental and physical health. By engaging in activities that activate the five senses and promote emotional awareness, parents can cultivate a nurturing environment for themselves and their children. Maisie also offers insights into fostering emotional intelligence within families, highlighting journaling and collaborative chores as tools to instill gratitude and teamwork among kids.
Stepping into a journey of self-compassion and personal growth, we discuss the concept of the six-part self with Maisie, exploring how identity, worth, approval, acceptance, love, and power interconnect. She encourages listeners to view the process of leaving toxic relationships and past versions of themselves as opportunities for transformation. Through nourishing our bodies, engaging in mindful breathing, and practicing restorative movements, Macy provides a toolkit for stress relief, inviting everyone to embark on a path of healing and self-discovery with her free workbook of journal prompts.
Unlock the secrets to understanding addiction and empowering recovery in our gripping conversation with addiction counselor and certified parent coach, Mary Ann Palmer. This episode promises to redefine your approach to addiction by embracing non-stigmatizing language and acknowledging the complex interplay of genetics and mental health. Mary Ann provides powerful insights into how parents can influence their children’s paths, potentially preventing substance use disorders and fostering healthier futures.
As we traverse the challenging terrain of parenting a child with addiction, Mary Ann illuminates the emotional rollercoaster faced by parents. She discusses the intricacies of substance abuse, from early experimentation to full-blown dependency, and the profound alterations drugs cause in the brain's reward system. Our discussion confronts the harsh realities of denial and self-blame that parents often endure, while also emphasizing the vital need for individuals struggling with addiction to take ownership of their recovery journey. With compassion and expertise, Mary Ann sheds light on how parents can navigate this painful journey without losing sight of their well-being.
Journey with us as we explore recovery strategies, including the significance of understanding personal triggers and embracing harm reduction as a viable path to healing. Mary Ann clarifies the concept of "white knuckling" versus engaging in meaningful recovery work and explores the potential pitfalls of a "dry drunk" existence. We also delve into family interventions, guided by the CRAFT approach, which balances setting boundaries with empathy and understanding. To wrap things up, Mary Ann shares her online resources and a special holiday offering, ensuring that listeners leave armed with both knowledge and support.
Join us as we explore the complex and emotionally charged topics of parental alienation and false allegations in custody cases. We welcome Charles Jamieson, a highly experienced attorney from Florida, who shares his invaluable insights gathered over 40 years of practice. Charlie helps us understand how parental alienation often arises when one parent attempts to vilify the other, significantly impacting the child-parent relationship. He highlights the intricate dynamics at play, such as the manipulation of memory and the role of personality disorders in fostering such destructive behaviors.
Listen in as we tackle the challenging dynamics faced in family court battles, particularly when false allegations emerge. We discuss the dual nature of these conflicts—balancing factual truth against perception—and how the latter can often overshadow reality. Charlie shares strategies to uncover the truth, including engaging forensic mental health professionals and conducting custody evaluations. He also underscores the emotional pitfalls that can arise, using high-profile cases like Alec Baldwin's as examples, and offers advice on maintaining a strong parenting presence and knowing when litigation is necessary.
We also explore strategies for parents seeking to reconnect with their alienated children. It's crucial to maintain contact and document efforts to uphold the parent-child relationship, even when faced with significant challenges. Charlie shares creative approaches, such as engaging in unique activities to strengthen bonds, while also addressing the potential benefits of supervised visitation. This conversation is packed with expert advice and practical tips, emphasizing perseverance and creativity in the face of parental alienation, and offers a comprehensive look at navigating these tumultuous waters.
Unlock the secrets to safeguarding your financial future during and after a divorce with insights from Tony Wimperis, a seasoned CPA and tax director. Learn how to navigate the intricate world of divorce-related tax issues, including the potential conflicts of interest when accountants have longstanding ties to one spouse. Tony provides invaluable advice on managing the risks of unreported income, filing joint versus separate tax returns, and the importance of choosing an accountant who remains impartial and transparent throughout the proceedings.
Experience the emotional journey of financial surprises that emerge during divorce, from undisclosed investments to unexpected liabilities. Tony shares strategies for addressing these challenges and emphasizes the critical role of legal advisors in ensuring you make informed decisions. He guides us through the complexities of asset division, tax filing, and managing tax-related responsibilities when trust between partners is compromised. By understanding the roles of custodial and non-custodial parents, you'll be better equipped to handle tax implications and the claiming of dependents.
Finally, protect your financial well-being post-divorce with Tony's practical tips on updating tax documents, managing tax payments, and dealing with potential penalties. Learn about filing for innocent spouse relief and the considerations necessary for maintaining personal safety amidst challenging tax issues. Tony offers a wealth of knowledge and a commitment to helping you navigate these turbulent times with confidence and clarity.
Renowned psychologist and author Dr. Josh Coleman joins us for an eye-opening conversation on the challenging realities of parental estrangement and alienation, particularly amidst high-conflict divorces. Drawing from his influential book, "Rules of Estrangement," Dr. Coleman reveals surprising statistics and societal stigmas surrounding estrangement. With 70% of estranged parents having experienced divorce, he explains how blame and new family dynamics can become catalysts for these painful rifts. Together, we unpack the emotional toll on parents and the nuances of estrangement versus alienation, where one parent's influence can turn a child against the other.
Shifting our focus to the evolving dynamics of parent-child relationships, we explore the generational changes that have led parents to desire friendships with their children. Dr. Coleman shares insights on the power adult children hold in these relationships and the significance of understanding their perspectives. We discuss the cultural shifts that have broadened definitions of harmful behavior, urging parents to approach these conversations with empathy and openness. With practical tips on maintaining hope and practicing radical acceptance, we offer guidance for parents seeking reconciliation and understanding amidst estrangement's complexities.
Join us as we explore the intricate and emotionally charged issue of parental alienation with our insightful guest, Charlie McCready, a UK-based parental alienation coach. Charlie shares his personal journey as a survivor of alienation, shedding light on the concept of "pre-alienation," which he coined to describe the subtle grooming process leading to relationship breakdowns. With his expertise, Charlie helps us understand the nuances of these dynamics, offering practical strategies to support those affected by alienation. His goal is to simplify the complexities surrounding this challenging topic, providing hope and guidance for parents navigating these turbulent waters.
Listen in as we unravel the depths of parental alienation, highlighting how some parents, often with narcissistic tendencies, work to turn their children against the other parent. We clarify the distinction between estrangement and alienation, discussing the progression from mild to severe alienation and the psychological manipulation involved. Charlie emphasizes the need for alienated parents to anticipate actions rather than react, as their instincts to defend themselves might inadvertently reinforce the alienator's narrative. This conversation is crucial for understanding how past parental relationships impact individuals experiencing alienation and how to manage the intense emotions that arise.
Our discussion also covers the complex dynamics of narcissism and its impact on relationships, especially during divorce. We explore the emotional roller coaster of separation, highlighting how individuals may weaponize their children during custody battles and the emotional turmoil this causes. Discover the triggers of divorce stress and how narcissistic behaviors manifest, further complicating family dynamics. By understanding these patterns and focusing on healing and rebuilding trust, parents can navigate the emotional hurdles of alienation, ultimately working towards healthier relationships with their children.
Can anxiety be transformed from a daunting presence into a manageable part of life? Join us as we uncover the complexities of modern anxiety with Andrea Nave, a licensed therapist and creator of the "How to Beat Anxiety Blog." Andrea and I explore the reasons behind the apparent rise in anxiety levels today, from societal issues like election stress and economic worries to the relentless cycle of news about violence. We demystify anxiety's role as the body's alarm system, which, while protective, can sometimes misfire due to past traumas. Andrea shares insights into cognitive and exposure therapies, illuminating paths to retrain our nervous system and better manage anxiety.
Misconceptions around anxiety often lead to viewing worry as an integral part of one's identity, but it doesn't have to be this way. Our discussion challenges these notions, emphasizing a mindset that sees anxiety as something manageable. We share practical strategies to distinguish between toxic and productive worry, focusing on what can be controlled. Personal stories, including the stress of navigating the family court system, provide real-world examples of managing anxiety through intentional thought redirection.
The episode also delves into the significant influence parents have on their children's emotional development. Andrea offers guidance on maintaining parental well-being and modeling healthy emotional regulation, which in turn helps children build resilience against anxiety. Parents are encouraged to validate their children’s feelings, strike a balance between protection and exposure, and adopt practices like mindfulness and self-compassion to foster a nurturing environment. To further support listeners, we also recommend a curated selection of accessible books available on Amazon, aimed at enhancing mindfulness, anxiety management, and parenting skills.
Join us as we welcome back our friend, Chelsey Brooke Cole, a therapist and author specializing in narcissistic abuse and complex trauma. Chelsey shares her journey and expertise in navigating safe sharing after experiencing abuse. We explore the delicate balance between maintaining boundaries and fostering healthy relationships, emphasizing the importance of discernment in choosing whom to trust with your story. Chelsey's insights are invaluable for survivors seeking to find their voice in safe spaces, while also being cautious about the potential harm of sharing with those who may not understand.
In our conversation, we explore the dynamics of relationships impacted by narcissistic abuse, focusing on understanding the different types of narcissism, particularly the vulnerable narcissist. We highlight the importance of being discerning when selecting a therapist who truly understands narcissistic and emotional abuse. Through personal anecdotes, we underscore the significance of interviewing potential therapists to ensure they align with your needs. Additionally, we discuss the risks associated with sharing personal experiences online, especially during legal proceedings, as narcissists and their enablers often monitor social media closely.
We also explore how to recognize safe relationships through understanding physiological cues and neuroception. Safe individuals help us feel clear, calm, and accepted, allowing us to be our authentic selves. Chelsey discusses her book, "If Only I'd Known," which serves as a resource for those interested in healing from narcissistic abuse. We invite listeners to follow our social media accounts for ongoing discussions and to stay tuned for Chelsey's upcoming group programs. This episode offers valuable insights for anyone navigating relationships after abuse, emphasizing the importance of boundaries and trusting one's instincts.
What if the most dangerous form of abuse leaves no physical marks? Join us as we sit down with Ellen Schwartz and Maliha Janjua from Women Aware to uncover the dark reality of coercive control, a form of domestic violence that instills fear and isolates victims without physical assault. As New Jersey pioneers legal changes to recognize this insidious abuse, we dive into the controversies these laws spark, including concerns about judicial understanding. Ellen and Maliha bring a wealth of knowledge from both legal and social work perspectives, emphasizing the importance of recognizing coercive control's pervasive presence in domestic violence cases.
Our conversation takes a poignant turn as we shine a light on how domestic violence affects children. Abusers often use children as pawns to manipulate and control their partners, leaving long-lasting impacts on young lives. Drawing from their experiences at Women Aware, Ellen and Maliha share the various tactics abusers employ to exploit the court system and interfere with children's therapy. We discuss the complexities survivors face even after breaking free from abusive relationships and offer strategies for safety planning to help them regain control and protect their families.
Recovery from domestic violence is a challenging journey that requires a strong support system. We explore the transformative role of creative arts and trauma-focused therapies in helping children process trauma, and stress the need for finding the right therapists and legal advocates who understand domestic violence dynamics. By highlighting innovative models like the Family Justice Center, we showcase a coordinated community response that offers comprehensive support to survivors. This episode serves as a reminder of the power of community and the ongoing need for trauma-informed care and legal advocacy to help survivors rebuild their lives.
The holidays can be a twinkling time of joy for many, but for those who've tangled with a narcissist, the season's lights may dim. Our conversation with John from Male Victims of Female Narcissists peels back the layers of this often unspoken struggle, whatever your gender. Together, we unravel the painful process of ending a toxic relationship, especially when it leads to the heartbreak of losing friends and family. With the festive period heightening these emotional wounds, we discuss strategies for facing these challenges head-on, offering our insights into the complexities of navigating family courts and the stark reality of parental alienation.
Navigating the aftermath of a relationship with a narcissist feels akin to walking a labyrinth where every turn might lead to further isolation. Our exchange sheds light on the subtle yet destructive form of gatekeeping that can occur within families, cutting deep lines of division. Stressing the need for direct communication and unwavering self-advocacy, we dissect the nuances of maintaining healthy child-parent bonds post-divorce, the crucial role of therapy, and the value of neutral professionals in ensuring kids aren't caught in the crossfire of loyalty conflicts.
As we wind down the episode, the focus shifts to co-parenting in the face of rejection and the vulnerability that comes with it. We open up about our personal journeys of trying to stay connected to our children amidst the manipulations and emotional abuse from our ex-partners, hoping to offer solace to listeners walking a similar path. We conclude with a message of hope and solidarity, highlighting the importance of seeking out community during the holidays. This episode is a beacon for those seeking understanding and direction during times that can feel overwhelmingly shadowed by past relationships.
Acclaimed singer and author Tyra Juliette Schwartz joins us to unravel the pressing issue of shielding children from gaslighting while nurturing their critical thinking abilities. With her compelling book, "The Sky is Red," Tyra shares powerful insights from her extraordinary journey—from touring with music legends to becoming a mother and fierce advocate for children's empowerment. She discusses the art of having everyday conversations that inspire kids to trust their instincts and respectfully challenge authority, striking a crucial balance between fostering respect and encouraging self-expression. Tyra's personal experiences underscore the importance of self-confidence and empowerment, particularly in a world rife with misinformation and AI challenges.
Together, we explore Tyra's strategies for instilling self-trust and advocacy in children, essential skills that equip them to navigate complex situations such as shared custody and societal pressures. Tyra recounts poignant stories, including a daughter's triumph over adult skepticism and the impact of dismissive remarks from authority figures, highlighting the need to cultivate resilience and self-belief from a young age. The conversation offers a heartfelt reminder of the roles parents and educators play in preparing children to face a world that may not always value their feelings or perspectives. Join us for this enlightening episode, where Tyra's passion and insights provide a roadmap for empowering the next generation.
Unlock the secrets to creating harmonious parenting plans that stand the test of time. Join us for an enlightening conversation with Connecticut attorney Kevin Hoffkins, who brings over 35 years of family law experience to the table. Kevin sheds light on the pitfalls of vague legal language and offers strategies to avoid prolonged court battles through the crafting of clear, customized parenting agreements. Discover how specific terms and financial penalties can help maintain peace and structure in custody arrangements, reducing the potential for conflict and ensuring a stable environment for children.
Explore the art of effective co-parenting post-divorce and learn how to include vital clauses that protect parental rights and foster cooperation. Together with Kevin, we unravel the complexities of religious upbringing disputes and the critical role of non-disparagement clauses. By sharing real-world examples, our discussion offers valuable insights into balancing differing parental beliefs while prioritizing the well-being of the child. We emphasize the importance of clear communication, collaborative strategies, and a tailored approach that considers all aspects of family life, from cultural practices to holiday traditions.
Finally, we delve into the nuances of holiday arrangements within parenting plans and the importance of specificity to avoid misunderstandings. From pickup and drop-off times to access to medical and school records, we cover every detail needed for a comprehensive and effective plan. Our conversation highlights the benefits of mediating agreements outside of court and the growing trend toward equal parenting time. By focusing on child-centered divorce strategies, we aim to provide a roadmap for parents seeking to create fair and lasting arrangements that truly center around the children's best interests.
Family lawyer and mediator (and author of our first book's foreword!) David Morneau joins us to shed light on the emotional rollercoaster of divorce proceedings and the legal system's role in intensifying fears. With his practice of principled cooperative negotiation, David offers a refreshing perspective on handling conflicts constructively, emphasizing the importance of supportive voices like ours here at Been There Got Out. Together, we unpack how fear often drives conflicts and delve into fear-mongering in the legal sphere, highlighting the need for more empathetic approaches in resolving disputes.
The episode journeys into the heart of emotional intelligence, exploring a shift from aggressive legal practices towards empathy and compassion. We discuss how societal norms and media influence, like the sensationalism of shock culture, impact emotional regulation and decision-making, especially in high-stakes environments such as family court. By embracing vulnerability, individuals can make informed choices, moving beyond blame and creating empowered, solution-focused dialogues.
Finally, we stress the importance of equipping individuals with conflict management skills from a young age, challenging the traditional view of these as merely soft skills. Drawing inspiration from thinkers like William Ury and Jonathan Haidt, we advocate for civil discourse and the powerful role of listening, urging a societal shift towards critical thinking and empathy. Through personal anecdotes and cultural reflections, we highlight the courage needed to lead with vulnerability and foster respectful conversations, ultimately paving the way for healthier relationships and peaceful resolutions.
What if the rising tide of eating disorders among children could be linked to the emotional aftermath of high-conflict divorces? Join us as we unpack this critical issue with Melissa Spann, the Chief Clinical Officer at Monte Nido and Affiliates. In our conversation, Melissa unveils the alarming trend of eating disorders manifesting as early as six years old in contexts often overlooked, such as the tumult of familial strife. We navigate through various disorders, including the lesser-known orthorexia and binge eating disorder (BED), and dismantle pervasive myths about who is affected. Melissa sheds light on the nuanced early warning signs, blending physical symptoms with emotional changes, and the crucial role of timely intervention.
Our discussion extends to the societal pressures shaping young minds and bodies, with a spotlight on how parents and educators can foster healthier body images amidst these challenges. We emphasize the importance of a supportive network, encouraging listeners to utilize resources such as Monte Nido and seek guidance from primary care physicians. With Melissa's expert insights, we aim to empower you to recognize and respond to these complex issues, ensuring that no child or family navigates this journey alone. Tune in to equip yourself with the knowledge and understanding essential for making a meaningful difference in the lives of children grappling with eating disorders.
Unlock the secrets to personal empowerment and healing from narcissistic abuse with Tanya Marie Dubé, our inspiring guest and the host of the Unbreakable Women Pop-Up Podcast. Learn how Tanya's journey evolved from helping individuals through divorce to becoming a beacon of hope for survivors of emotional abuse. This episode provides actionable insights on building resilience and finding courage, making sure every listener walks away with the tools they need to reclaim their lives.
Tanya sheds light on the devastating impact of growing up with a narcissistic parent and how these experiences can trap individuals in a cycle of harmful relationships. Through compelling real-life anecdotes, we unpack the importance of breaking free from ingrained patterns of victimhood and negative self-worth. We also discuss the risks of transferring authority to professionals in a way that mirrors past abusive dynamics, emphasizing the critical need for self-awareness and personal empowerment in all relationships.
Get prepared for a deep dive into practical strategies to handle narcissistic ex-partners, including the effective gray rock method. Tanya introduces the Unbreakable Women podcast series, featuring daily video releases and free resources geared towards helping women rebuild confidence and trust in themselves. Mark your calendars for September 30 to October 7 and join us in this transformative journey. Plus, find out all the details about registration and upcoming events designed to reconnect and empower you.
What if you could shield your children from the turbulence of divorce and help them emerge stronger on the other side? We tackle this vital question as we welcome Dr. Jill Leibowitz, a seasoned clinical psychologist and play therapist, to our conversation on the child's experience amid divorce and high-conflict custody battles. Through her insights, we contrast the lives of children in peaceful separations with those caught in parental conflicts, uncovering the deep-seated feelings of helplessness and lack of control they often grapple with. Our discussion highlights the importance of recognizing these emotional challenges and the steps parents can take to provide a supportive environment, even amidst fears of potential abuse.
Communication forms the backbone of a child's well-being during parental separation, and we dissect how negativity can subtly invade their world. From disparaging remarks overheard to unintended social media exposure, we stress the necessity of maintaining a healthy boundary to protect children from adult conflicts. Our dialogue underscores the crucial role of parental self-awareness and the benefits of therapeutic support, advocating for both parents and children to engage in healthy communication practices that prioritize the child's emotional safety.
Empowering children through the trials of divorce not only fosters resilience but also independence. By validating their feelings and encouraging open expression, we can equip them with the tools to navigate relationships with both parents and manage life's inevitable conflicts. Jill shares strategies to help children advocate for themselves, enhancing their emotional literacy and critical thinking skills. As we conclude this enlightening episode, we express our gratitude for Jill's invaluable contributions and eagerly anticipate future discussions that continue to illuminate these essential topics.
What if the solution to your high-conflict divorce or custody battle isn't in courtrooms but in mediation? Join us as we sit down with Rebecca Stern, a seasoned divorce and family mediator from New Jersey, to explore how mediation can transform even the most contentious disputes. Rebecca dispels the common skepticism around mediation in conflict-heavy scenarios and illustrates how this approach provides a more flexible, creative, and empowering alternative to traditional litigation. With formats like joint sessions, private caucuses, and fully private meetings, she shares her methods for crafting well-considered, lasting agreements.
In our engaging discussion, we uncover the hidden efficiency and cost-effectiveness of mediation. Rebecca draws on real-life examples to show how structured timelines and significant cost savings make mediation a preferable path. While acknowledging that not every issue may be resolved, she emphasizes the substantial progress that can be achieved more swiftly and affordably compared to court battles. Learn how detailed parenting plans, developed with a mediator's guidance, can prioritize children's needs and prevent future conflicts.
Navigating family conflicts, especially those with power imbalances, requires a delicate touch. Rebecca shares her strategies for maintaining neutrality and ensuring an equitable environment, often involving private meetings to provide a safe space for all parties. We also touch on the importance of self-care during mediation, with Rebecca offering practical tips on managing stress and maintaining balance. Whether you're facing a high-conflict divorce or looking to understand the benefits of mediation, this episode is packed with invaluable insights to help you through challenging times. Listen in and discover why mediation can be a game-changer for resolving family disputes.
Unlock the secrets to a peaceful holiday season amidst the storm of co-parenting with a narcissistic ex, as California attorney and podcast host Demetria Graves generously lays out her expert blueprint. The festive period's challenges are magnified for those with high-conflict ex-partners, and Demetria illuminates the path through the emotional and legal turbulence. From enacting detailed legal orders to safeguard travel plans and custody arrangements, to introducing children to new partners, our discussion is a lifeline for maintaining sanity and setting firm boundaries.
Co-parenting is a dance that requires poise and resilience, even more so when a narcissistic ex is involved. Demetria and Lisa dissect the nuances of custody orders, underscore the need for clear written agreements, and highlight the importance of prioritizing children's well-being during the holiday shuffle. We tackle the often-overlooked issue of 'married single parenting' and the subtle ways neglect can manifest. You'll learn how to navigate these waters and stand firm against weaponized incompetence, ensuring your children's holiday memories are filled with joy, not discord.
We confront the poignant realities of divorce on family dynamics, stressing the creation of supportive environments and new traditions to foster a sense of security for children. Demetria offers insights into managing exposure to negative family dynamics and substance abuse, providing a guide to navigating these tough scenarios with grace and strength. Join us as we offer heartfelt advice and encouragement to those bracing for the holidays' extra dose of co-parenting complexities.
What if empathy and logic could turn even the most contentious negotiations into successful collaborations? Join us as we sit down with Erika Kaneko, a distinguished corporate attorney from New York City, to uncover the emotional intricacies of negotiating with difficult people. Erika’s wealth of experience, particularly in high-conflict scenarios, brings a unique perspective to our discussion, emphasizing the often-overlooked emotional dynamics that can sway the outcome of any negotiation. Our goal is to empower you with strategies that not only help you stay in control but also avoid the pitfalls of costly court battles.
Throughout this enlightening episode, we explore how mastering emotional intelligence can transform adversarial situations into opportunities for mutual satisfaction. From understanding both parties' priorities to the essential role of preparation, Erika guides us through a step-by-step approach to effective negotiation. We also delve into the importance of self-representation, especially when personal safety isn't at risk, and debunk common misconceptions about maintaining a rational demeanor in confrontational settings. Tune in to discover how these powerful strategies can lead you to personal freedom and safety, all while negotiating with confidence and clarity.
Join us for an insightful and powerful episode featuring our guest, Federica Velutini-Hoffman, a dedicated advocate, to discuss the complexities surrounding domestic violence and the often-overlooked tendency of victims to minimize their experiences. Listen in as we dismantle the misconception that abuse must be physical to be valid, highlighting the resilience and grace of survivors who endure severe trauma. Federica shares poignant examples from her work, reflecting on how abusers, driven by insecurity, target individuals who shine brightly to steal their light. Additionally, Federica opens up about her background and journey into the nonprofit world after her own experiences with abuse.
We also tackle the crucial topic of presenting emotional trauma in court, emphasizing the importance of clarity and objectivity in family law cases. Our conversation underscores the necessity of linking facts to legal statutes and maintaining composure to be more persuasive in court. We explore the emotional challenges victims face in articulating their experiences and provide strategies for making a strong first impression. Furthermore, we delve into the complex dynamics of empathy in abusive relationships, examining the psychological manipulation by abusers and the importance of grieving the perceived relationship. This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to understand the nuanced realities of domestic violence and the extraordinary strength of survivors.
Unlock the secret to mastering emotional resilience and staying grounded even in the tumult of high-conflict relationships and legal battles. Hypnotherapist Vanessa Herrera joins us to reveal the transformative power of hypnosis in managing stress and trauma. During our enlightening conversation, Vanessa demystifies hypnosis, explaining how it can help individuals regain control over their responses and thoughts by counteracting negative suggestions from abusive partners. You'll learn practical self-hypnosis techniques that reprogram the mind, allowing you to respond calmly and resourcefully, reclaiming your mental space from any psychological warfare.
Prepare to equip yourself with powerful tools for maintaining composure during high-stress situations. Vanessa walks us through visualization methods, controlled breathing exercises, and the importance of daily business validation to prepare for challenging moments. Discover the benefits of writing down your desired feelings and actions before sleep and how Richard Nongard's 4-6-8 breathing technique can be a game-changer. Our episode concludes with insights into Vanessa's personalized approach, emphasizing the crucial initial consultation. This episode is a treasure trove of strategies designed to empower you to take control of your mental and emotional well-being, no matter the chaos around you.
What if understanding the science of "biohacking" could improve your financial stability during a divorce? Join us in this enlightening episode as we welcome Tatiana Tsoir, who uniquely blends her expertise as a biohacker and CPA to offer critical insights into managing finances amid and after a high-conflict divorce. Discover how optimizing your internal and external environments can indirectly bolster your financial well-being. Tatiana dives into the financial challenges women face during contentious divorces, from financial abuse to career setbacks and manipulative tax tactics. She stresses the importance of financial literacy in escaping abusive relationships, debunking many myths surrounding money management in such turbulent times.
In our empowering segment on bookkeeping education, Tatiana shares her inspiring journey from bookkeeper to accountant, showcasing how mastering bookkeeping can be a transformative tool for financial independence. Listen as she discusses her initiative to offer free bookkeeping education and scholarships to moms, first-generation immigrants, teens, and abuse survivors—helping them gain practical skills for new career paths and business ventures. We also explore a fascinating question about celebrity divorce, using Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez as an example, and learn about Tatiana's philanthropic Bookkeeper Project aimed at promoting financial independence. Tune in for an episode filled with practical advice, personal anecdotes, and empowering insights that will help both men and women alike!
Discover compassionate strategies to address childhood aggression with Tosha Schore, founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully. This episode promises to equip you with effective techniques to handle aggressive behavior in children while reassuring you that such behavior is common and not a sign of poor parenting. Tosha shares her holistic approach, which includes self-care for parents, deep connections with children, loving limits, and playful activities that can transform your family dynamics.
We also tackle the tricky terrain of parenting teenagers, including setting boundaries around technology and dealing with emotional withdrawal. Our conversation emphasizes the importance of maintaining a supportive and positive relationship with your teen, even in challenging situations. Through personal stories and expert insights, we offer practical strategies to help you navigate these critical years with persistence and unconditional love, ensuring your teen feels valued and understood.
Parenting through connection rather than control is at the heart of our discussion. Learn how to build strong relationships with your children to positively influence their behavior as they grow. We highlight the significance of community support and shared experiences among parents. Plus, Tosha introduces an upcoming week-long workshop designed to provide actionable advice and tools for addressing aggressive behavior. This episode is your roadmap to creating a more harmonious and connected family environment.
Join us as we explore practical strategies for managing stress and trauma, especially for those involved in the legal system. Our special guest, Cindy Fritze, owner of HealingShoresLLC.com, introduces us to Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), also known as tapping. Cindy explains how tapping on specific meridian points can send calming signals to the amygdala, reducing both short-term stress and long-term trauma. She shares her personal success story of quitting smoking through EFT and demonstrates the tapping process, making a compelling case for incorporating this technique into daily routines to achieve emotional freedom and clarity.
Listen in as we discuss how to use EFT to prepare for high-pressure situations like court appearances. We cover the concept of "pre-paving," which involves tapping on emotions beforehand to reduce stress and gain clarity. Cindy also shares how combining the Sedona Method with tapping on the nine gamut point can help release fear and anxiety, enabling you to remain composed and focused under pressure. Finally, we explore the transformative power of EFT for releasing negative emotions tied to divorce or troubled relationships, offering hope and positive outcomes for emotional healing and new beginnings.
Join us as we explore the often-overlooked impact of domestic violence on children in this episode. Our special guest, Ireland's Edel Lawlor, shares her extensive experience working with children affected by domestic violence both in women's refuges and in her private practice as a child and adolescent psychotherapist specializing in play therapy. Edel provides profound insights into how children, although often silent, express their trauma through behaviors and play themes rather than verbal communication. We also discuss the challenges children face during parental litigation and why therapy might not always be beneficial in such situations due to external pressures and the need for court reports.
We tackle the emotional turmoil children endure during parental separation and emphasize the importance of acknowledging and validating a child's perceptions, as ignoring their awareness can heighten fear and anxiety. The conversation covers the necessity of therapeutic support for children, the significance of honest and age-appropriate communication, and the distress caused by parental questioning after visits with the other parent. We underscore the critical role parents play in providing a sense of security and understanding during these turbulent times.
Finally, we shift our focus to the profound psychological impact of domestic violence on children and the complexities of parenting through such circumstances. We highlight the importance of relationships in healing, referencing Dr. Bruce Perry's work on child trauma and his collaboration with Oprah Winfrey. Additionally, we introduce the concept of "safe fights" in therapy as a method to help children process trauma through controlled, playful interactions. This nuanced approach illustrates the essential support needed for children affected by domestic violence. We discuss the international experience of an expert in expressive play, who shares her work across various countries and her impactful TEDx talk on "Unconditional Kindness Towards Children." This episode is a compelling exploration of empathy, care, and the intricate support systems required for nurturing young minds affected by trauma.
False allegations in custody battles can be weaponized to devastating effect. Join us for a candid conversation with attorney Evynne Fair, who brings her invaluable experience as a former child protective services worker, sheriff, and current attorney in Colorado. Together, we explore the stark realities of vindictive reporting, particularly how the "Me Too" movement can be misused to unfairly target male relatives. Evynne sheds light on the high stakes involved and emphasizes the need to acknowledge that deceit is not limited by gender, challenging some deeply held assumptions about honesty in these contentious disputes.
Facing false accusations can trigger a whirlwind of emotional chaos. We discuss the critical importance of managing instinctual responses like anger and fear, which can lead to damaging behaviors such as making threats or spreading misinformation. With trusted allies and professional support, individuals can navigate these treacherous waters more effectively. The episode also touches on the dark side of modern technology, particularly the role of AI in creating doctored recordings, and the necessity for forensic experts to identify manipulation—despite the significant financial burden this imposes.
When it comes to poorly conducted forensic interviews, the consequences can be dire. Evynne shares her insights into the alarming prevalence of inadequate training among forensic interviewers, recounting a specific case where a teenage girl’s interview was mismanaged, raising concerns about coaching and false narratives. We also delve into the complexities of dealing with false reports to Child Protective Services post-divorce, highlighting procedural hurdles and the varying quality of CPS caseworkers across states like Colorado and Nevada. Practical advice on staying calm, cooperating with CPS, and securing legal representation early on rounds out our comprehensive discussion on navigating these emotionally charged situations.
Join us as we welcome Jenny Acurio, a distinguished expert in immigration support, who brings a wealth of knowledge and compassion to the discussion on the struggles immigrants face in abusive relationships. Jenny's extensive experience shines through as she explains how she guides individuals to find the right legal resources and empowers them to overcome their fears and take control of their lives. With a unique background in international business and the ability to translate documents in over 40 languages, Jenny offers invaluable insights and comprehensive support. We also delve into the importance of being well-prepared with pertinent questions when consulting attorneys and explore the parallels between navigating immigration challenges and custody battles in divorce scenarios.
This episode also highlights Jenny's impressive national reach, providing services across the United States, including Connecticut, Florida, and Maryland. Whether you're in need of legal assistance or looking to understand the complexities of immigration issues, Jenny's expertise is a beacon of hope and guidance. She generously shares her contact information, making her a readily available resource for immigrants nationwide. As we conclude, we express our heartfelt gratitude for Jenny's participation and eagerly anticipate future interactions. Don't miss this insightful conversation that equips listeners with the knowledge and courage to tackle immigration and legal hurdles with confidence.
Discover the essential strategies for crafting effective parenting plans amidst high-conflict divorces with insights from Leona Krasner, a seasoned family law attorney from New York City. Leona takes us through the vital components of a parenting plan, emphasizing the importance of starting the process even before finalizing the separation. From pick-up and drop-off logistics to vacation schedules and family traditions, Leona provides practical advice on making plans detailed and emotion-free, ensuring they are both practical and enforceable.
Understand the complexities of legal custody as Leona breaks down the distinctions between sole and joint legal custody and the crucial decisions involved, including medical, educational, extracurricular, and religious choices. Learn how to negotiate joint custody agreements that include tiebreaking provisions, and the importance of thorough planning to avoid future disputes. Leona offers strategic advice on the challenges of obtaining sole legal custody and the advantages of consulting experts to resolve disagreements efficiently.
Navigate the enforcement of parenting agreements post-divorce with Leona’s expert guidance on the right of first refusal and the difficulties in imposing restrictions on introducing new significant others to children. She provides a reality check on the enforceability of these provisions and the importance of meticulously documenting violations, especially in high-conflict cases. Resources available in New York and New Jersey are highlighted, making this episode invaluable for anyone dealing with the intricacies of co-parenting and legal custody battles.
Join us as we welcome back our friend Leslie Miller, a seasoned therapist with a wealth of experience in trauma and legal abuse, to explore the world of trauma-informed yoga and Pilates. Leslie shares her unique journey and explains how these practices stand apart from conventional therapy and exercise by prioritizing sensitivity to trauma triggers. Through her personal and professional insights, Leslie emphasizes the importance of creating a safe environment for participants and highlights the role of mindful movement and embodiment coaching in overcoming the limitations of traditional talk therapy.
We tackle the pressing issue of vicarious trauma in helping professions, especially amidst the challenges brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic. Leslie discusses the often-overlooked reality that many individuals in caregiving roles, including parents, can absorb the traumas of those they support. This conversation sheds light on the necessity of self-care and resilience-building for professionals in high-stress environments. Leslie also shares practical, sustainable daily practices to maintain mental and emotional well-being, underscoring the significance of self-awareness and mindfulness.
In our final discussions, we explore grounding and mindfulness techniques essential for managing stress and anxiety, particularly in high-pressure situations. Leslie guides us through simple yet effective methods to stay present and centered, such as focusing on breath and observing our surroundings. We also discuss the transformative power of self-awareness and self-love. To connect further with Leslie's work, we highlight her virtual mind-body workshops and available resources, inviting listeners to engage with her upcoming free workshop on grounding techniques, breathing, and mindful movement.
Unlock the secrets to navigating high-conflict divorces and co-parenting with expert Brook Olsen, founder of the High Conflict Diversion Program. Discover the key distinctions between typical and high-conflict divorces and learn practical strategies to manage emotions and behaviors, keeping the focus on the well-being of your children. Brook shares invaluable insights into maintaining a solution-driven mindset and setting reasonable expectations, all while understanding the legal nuances of custody and divorce proceedings.
In another illuminating segment, we explore the detrimental role of negative advocates—those who unintentionally fan the flames of conflict. Brook introduces the concept of parallel parenting, a method that fosters a business-like communication style centered on children's needs, reducing unnecessary disputes. Learn the art of being brief, informative, factual, firm, and friendly in your interactions, and understand the power of staying non-reactive. By concentrating on your parenting strengths and avoiding complete disengagement, you can create a healthier co-parenting dynamic.
We then tackle the sensitive issue of parental alienation, examining its roots in pre-separation dynamics and power imbalances. Brook highlights the critical importance of viewing these situations from the child's perspective and the essential role of qualified therapists in reunification efforts. Finally, we offer a treasure trove of resources, including our Facebook support group, in-person small groups, and an extensive library of over 290 podcast episodes. Tune in to gain the tools and insights needed to manage high-conflict co-parenting effectively, ensuring the best outcomes for you and your children.
Uncover the hidden world of cryptocurrency in divorce with our guest, Raphael Meyer, a renowned expert in the field. We're unraveling the complexities of digital assets and their impact on divorce proceedings. Raphael guides us through the basics, comparing cryptocurrencies to traditional financial systems and shedding light on their unique features, such as the absence of government backing and high volatility. Learn about the intricacies of cryptocurrency exchanges and how to uncover hidden assets during the discovery phase of a divorce.
When it comes to storing and managing cryptocurrency, the landscape can be quite challenging. We explore this with Raphael, delving into the roles of hardware wallets like Trezor and Ledger and highlighting the importance of informing your attorney about any crypto holdings. Raphael explains how the IRS views crypto transactions as taxable events and discusses the potential complications that arise when LLCs are used to hide assets. Discover how the volatile nature of cryptocurrencies can turn seemingly minor investments into significant sums.
Valuing and liquidating crypto assets during a divorce is no small feat. Raphael provides expert insights into navigating these turbulent waters and the tax implications involved. We emphasize the importance of setting an agreed value in US dollars to avoid future disputes. Learn about the role of crypto hunters in tracing hidden assets and whether hiring one is financially viable. Raphael also introduces his book "A World of Warning," offering additional resources for those eager to deepen their understanding of cryptocurrency. Tune in for a conversation packed with crucial advice for managing crypto assets in divorce.
Manhattan-based bankruptcy attorney Adrienne Woods joins us on this episode to unravel the complexities of bankruptcy, particularly in high-conflict divorce scenarios. With her extensive knowledge, Adrienne debunks the myths surrounding bankruptcy, emphasizing it as a strategic opportunity for a fresh start rather than a devastating defeat. We delve into the emotional burden of debt exacerbated by media portrayals and credit companies, and spotlight the empowering potential of Chapter 7 bankruptcy in liberating individuals from overwhelming financial obligations. Adrienne's insights provide a guiding light for those navigating the tumultuous intersection of legal battles and financial strain.
In our discussion, we explore the critical decisions faced by individuals confronting foreclosure and bankruptcy, highlighting the pivotal role of the automatic stay in halting collection efforts. Adrienne and I dissect the importance of strategic decision-making in these situations, including considerations around post-petition mortgage payments and property retention. We also shed light on Subchapter V, a streamlined bankruptcy option for small businesses, offering a real-life example of a security guard company that successfully used this path to recovery. Our conversation aims to dispel misconceptions and illuminate the benefits of bankruptcy for viable businesses facing financial challenges.
The episode concludes with a comprehensive look at the cost-benefit analysis of filing for bankruptcy, addressing both its financial and non-financial impacts. We discuss the nuances of protecting family assets and the importance of consulting with trust and estate lawyers. Adrienne shares invaluable advice on avoiding common pitfalls, including the risks of transferring money to family members before filing. Transparency and a thorough understanding of bankruptcy laws emerge as crucial elements in making informed financial decisions. Adrienne's expertise offers hope and clarity, guiding listeners through the intricacies of bankruptcy with compassion and professionalism.
Unlock the keys to navigating high-conflict divorces with expert advice from our friend and regular guest, Chicagoland family law attorney Raiford Palmer, author of the bestselling book "I Just Want This Done." Discover practical strategies and insights from Raiford's extensive experience handling high-conflict divorces, and learn why his book has resonated with so many readers. We dive deep into the significance of assembling the right team, using collaborative approaches, and avoiding common mistakes when dealing with difficult partners.
Gain a deeper understanding of the dynamics involved in high-conflict divorces, emphasizing the importance of perseverance and strategic communication. Raiford shares the benefits of resources like divorce coaches and the pitfalls of over-relying on attorneys for emotional support. We also uncover the misconceptions around mediation with difficult ex-partners and highlight the value of alternative dispute resolution methods, emphasizing how to tailor these approaches to different personalities and situations.
Explore the financial and trial preparation aspects of high-conflict divorces, from uncovering hidden assets to strategic decision-making. Raiford discusses the importance of early evidence preservation and the role of financial forensic experts in simplifying the legal process. Learn about settlement strategies that prioritize emotional and financial well-being, with real case stories illustrating the importance of approaching settlements from a position of strength. Tune in to equip yourself with the knowledge and support needed to navigate your own divorce journey successfully.
Unlock the secrets to mastering relationship dynamics and conflict resolution in our latest episode featuring Raquel Reis, a seasoned relationship coach from New York City. Learn how to transform your interactions through tactical empathy and advanced social-emotional skills. Raquel enlightens us on the profound impact of one person's approach on altering relationship dynamics - even in high-conflict situations, emphasizing the importance of self-management and effective communication. Raquel's journey from making personal mistakes to becoming a guiding light for many underscores the tremendous value of these often-underestimated "soft skills."
Discover the power of empathy in negotiations with a three-fold strategy that combines tactical approaches, somatic regulation, and intentionality. Understand how to override our brain's natural "negative bias" and create a collaborative environment by starting with a smile and expressing genuine appreciation. We dissect the nuances of disarming conflicts and turning adversarial situations into cooperative exchanges, predicting more favorable outcomes by simply viewing the problem as the enemy, not the person.
Gain practical tools for navigating uncomfortable conversations with calmness and resilience. We discuss the significance of physiological awareness and the benefits of pausing before making decisions. Learn how strategic communication and mediation can be game-changers in high-stress scenarios, especially in divorce and other legal proceedings. This episode is a treasure trove of insights to help you save time, money, and emotional energy by adopting effective conflict resolution strategies.
Unlock the secrets to managing high conflict divorces with our special guest, Marian Grande from Absolute Dispute Resolution. Discover practical strategies for navigating contentious separations and learn how mediation can save you time, money, and stress... if you do it the right way. With Marian's impressive 95% success rate in settling cases outside of court, you'll gain invaluable insights into maintaining control over your divorce outcomes and protecting your family's best interests.
Debunk the myth that court is the only path to resolving divorce disputes. We explore alternative methods like collaborative and amicable divorces that can significantly reduce financial strain and frustration. Marian shares compelling real-world examples, particularly highlighting the importance of professional expertise in cases involving domestic violence. You'll leave this episode with a clear understanding of the diverse, cost-effective options available to you.
Come to grips with the critical roles of parenting coordinators and arbitrators in divorce, especially when it comes to vital decisions about your child's healthcare and education. Marian explains how arbitration can provide expedited resolutions, emphasizing the necessity of effective evidence presentation. Plus, learn about the cross-border dispute resolution services Marian offers for clients in Canada and parts of the US. This conversation is packed with actionable advice and expert knowledge to help you navigate high conflict divorce with confidence.
How would you feel if you discovered hidden financial secrets during your divorce? Join us for a riveting conversation with Tracy Coenen of the Divorce Money Guide, as we share our serendipitous meeting at the Amicable Divorce Network's convention in Nashville and dive into the intricacies of financial management in divorce. Tracy's expertise in forensic accounting sheds light on the often-overlooked aspect of financial control in abusive relationships. From our initial meeting over donuts to deep discussions on marital finances, Tracy offers her invaluable insights into understanding financial complexities before finalizing a divorce settlement.
We'll unravel the world of forensic accounting and its crucial role in uncovering financial infidelity. Tracy explains how forensic accountants go beyond traditional accounting by investigating and verifying transactions, often revealing hidden accounts and secret expenditures. Through compelling personal anecdotes and case studies, we explore the emotional impact of discovering financial deceit within marriages and the challenges of reconciling trust after betrayal. This chapter highlights how forensic accounting tools can uncover the truth and empower individuals facing financial infidelity.
In the final part of our episode, we focus on recognizing financial red flags and avoiding costly divorce settlement mistakes. We discuss insights on identifying hidden funds through "round-number withdrawals" and the importance of trusting one's intuition. We discuss the dangers of settling without a full disclosure of assets and the tactics often used in high-conflict divorces. Tracy offers practical advice on negotiation skills and preparing financially to prevent exploitation. This is the second of a two-part episode that equips you with the knowledge and tools to navigate the financial intricacies of divorce confidently and ensure a fair settlement.
How would you feel if you discovered hidden financial secrets during your divorce? Join us for a riveting conversation with Tracy Coenen of the Divorce Money Guide, as we share our serendipitous meeting at the Amicable Divorce Network's convention in Nashville and dive into the intricacies of financial management in divorce. Tracy's expertise in forensic accounting sheds light on the often-overlooked aspect of financial control in abusive relationships. From our initial meeting over donuts to deep discussions on marital finances, Tracy offers her invaluable insights into understanding financial complexities before finalizing a divorce settlement.
We'll unravel the world of forensic accounting and its crucial role in uncovering financial infidelity. Tracy explains how forensic accountants go beyond traditional accounting by investigating and verifying transactions, often revealing hidden accounts and secret expenditures. Through compelling personal anecdotes and case studies, we explore the emotional impact of discovering financial deceit within marriages and the challenges of reconciling trust after betrayal. This chapter highlights how forensic accounting tools can uncover the truth and empower individuals facing financial infidelity.
In the final part of our episode, we focus on recognizing financial red flags and avoiding costly divorce settlement mistakes. We discuss insights on identifying hidden funds through "round-number withdrawals" and the importance of trusting one's intuition. We discuss the dangers of settling without a full disclosure of assets and the tactics often used in high-conflict divorces. Tracy offers practical advice on negotiation skills and preparing financially to prevent exploitation.
This is the first of a two-part episode that equips you with the knowledge and tools to navigate the financial intricacies of divorce confidently and ensure a fair settlement.
Unlock the keys to understanding and managing high-needs children, even in the midst of turbulent high-conflict separations. In this enlightening episode, Melissa Schulz, an experienced parenting coach, joins us to share her expertise on navigating the challenges of raising strong-willed, sensitive, or neurodivergent kids. Discover what truly defines a high-needs child and gain practical strategies for maintaining consistency and stability between households, despite difficult co-parenting dynamics. Melissa emphasizes the importance of self-care, mental health, and professional support for parents, offering actionable advice like journaling to help process emotions and ensure a safe, nurturing environment for children.
Melissa shares her personal journey from aspiring school psychologist to becoming a board-certified behavior analyst and founding an in-home behavioral health service for children with autism. Learn about the significance of research-based, individualized strategies and why dedicating quality one-on-one time with your children is crucial for strengthening bonds and improving behavior. We stress the critical role of parental self-care in managing the stress and emotional triggers associated with raising high-needs kids. This episode is packed with valuable insights and practical tips to help you create a loving, supportive environment for your child.
Unlock the secrets to mastering persuasion in family court with our long-time friend, Dennis Vetrano, a veteran family law litigation attorney. Discover how he identifies and manages overly emotional clients, the importance of transparency regarding legal costs, and how he prepares clients for the demanding road ahead. Dennis sheds light on the effects of trauma on client behavior, especially in prolonged custody disputes, and shares invaluable insights to help set clear expectations before entering the courtroom.
Prepare to enhance your courtroom strategy as Dennis dispels common misconceptions and reveals the necessity of having a clear, evidence-based case theory. Learn why organizing your key points and avoiding an overload of exhibits can make or break your case. Dennis shares powerful techniques for front-loading your arguments, maintaining composure, and understanding the significance of courtroom demeanor to effectively influence the judge.
Gain advanced trial strategies and witness testimony techniques from a truly seasoned expert. Dennis explains how to handle family offense trials, maintain composure under cross-examination, and utilize closing statements for maximum impact. Delve into the advantages of mediation over litigation and the critical role of skilled mediators in fair agreements. Finally, celebrate the career achievements of a distinguished judge running for family court judge in Albany, NY, underscoring the essential nature of thorough preparation in all legal endeavors.
Unlock the secrets to successfully blending families and managing high-conflict exes with our special guests, Lori and David from Nacho Kids. We promise you'll gain practical strategies for re-entering the dating scene after toxic relationships and learn how to create harmony in your blended family. Discover the Nacho Kids Method, a revolutionary approach developed by Lori and David to save their own relationship, which they now share to help others facing similar challenges.
Join us as we navigate through the complexities children face when a new stepparent steps in, and unpack the often turbulent dynamics involving high-conflict ex-spouses. From legal battles to emotional manipulation, we share real-life examples of the impact on children and offer advice on maintaining a healthy co-parenting relationship. Learn how to handle antagonistic communications from ex-partners and why setting clear boundaries is crucial for everyone's well-being.
Finally, we discuss the importance of recognizing red flags in relationships, particularly in the context of blended families. Understand why having a supportive partner and setting non-negotiable boundaries can prevent repeating toxic patterns. Hear personal anecdotes from our guests about their journey, the struggles they faced, and how perseverance led to a harmonious family life. This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating the emotional and practical challenges of blended families, offering hope and guidance from those who have been there and come out stronger.
Join us as we sit down with Chloe O, a high conflict divorce strategist from the UK, to unravel the intricate challenges of managing international divorce and co-parenting. Chloe brings her expertise to the table, guiding us through the complexities of divorces that span across different countries. We discuss critical issues such as financial responsibilities when one spouse moves abroad, and the importance of negotiation and cooperation to ease the transition. Chloe also sheds light on the legal hurdles, like immigration concerns, where individuals might face the pressure of leaving a country within 60 days of a breakup if they lack an independent right to stay.
Listen in as we navigate the jurisdictional complexities of international divorce cases. Chloe highlights the significance of choosing the right legal framework, tailored to individual circumstances. She compares financial disclosure requirements between the UK and mainland Europe, pointing out the strengths of the English legal system for those worried about hidden assets. The conversation also touches on the varying enforceability of prenuptial agreements and the growing trend of "gray divorce" among older adults. Real-life examples illustrate the emotional and legal struggles faced by those who feel isolated after relocating for a spouse's job.
In the final segments, we delve into the nuances of parenting agreements and cultural considerations post-divorce. Chloe discusses travel and expense management, emphasizing the severe consequences of violating custody agreements under the Hague Convention. We also explore the importance of cultural awareness when forming parenting plans to ensure they meet both legal requirements and the children's best interests. Chloe underscores the necessity of detailed planning and the value of mediation to avoid court disputes, sharing valuable resources and expert advice to help make the transition smoother for all involved.
Join us on this eye-opening journey with Arique Dross, a family law attorney with a profound personal connection to the complexities of family court, as we navigate the often tumultuous waters of high-conflict legal disputes. With Arique's unique insights, we discuss why it's critical to avoid family court whenever possible and the significance of finding self-crafted solutions rather than relying on court-imposed orders. We tackle tough topics such as the role domestic violence plays in negotiation dynamics and the systemic trauma that families may face within the legal system.
Listen in as we dissect the intricate issues surrounding domestic violence, custody, and parental rights. Arique sheds light on the misconceptions that cloud "fathers' rights," challenging the outdated belief that mothers should inherently have more custody privileges. The conversation moves to the harsh realities of parental alienation and the long-lasting impact of delayed custody, where every lost moment is a missed opportunity to bond with a child. We emphasize the role of mental health professionals and explore the interim solutions that courts provide, though they often fall short of addressing the urgency of these situations.
Wrapping up this intense discussion, we consider the legal remedies available to parents caught in the throes of custody disputes. From emergency petitions to the nuances of navigating the summer visitation rights of parents versus grandparents, Arique brings his expertise to the forefront, offering practical advice and sharing stories from his own experiences within the foster care and juvenile detention systems. If you're facing the daunting prospect of family court, or simply wish to understand the intricacies of these legal battles, this episode offers a wealth of knowledge and compassionate guidance.
How can the "law of unintended consequences" reshape the landscape of family law and relationships? Join us as we sit down with Julie and David Bulitt, a powerhouse team of a family therapist and a divorce attorney, to uncover the hidden dynamics that influence legal decisions, parenting, and emotional well-being. Julie shares her invaluable expertise in guiding clients to focus on their sphere of control, while David unravels the complexities of anticipating unforeseen legal outcomes. Together, they offer practical advice on managing high-conflict situations and emphasize the importance of meticulous presentation in family court.
Understanding relationship dynamics can be a labyrinth, especially in emotionally charged scenarios like addiction or abuse. The Bulitts shed light on why family courts often miss the signs of emotional abuse and reveal creative strategies to help clients maintain their composure under stress, such as using visual props. They discuss the systemic challenges faced by family courts and the critical need to predict behaviors based on established patterns. Their insights are not just theoretical; they provide actionable steps to help navigate these tumultuous waters, focusing on building a robust support system comprising legal, emotional, and personal pillars.
Co-parenting and mental health are pivotal themes as we explore the multifaceted challenges parents and children face during a divorce. Julie and David advocate for transparency about mental health issues and the importance of proactive management to positively influence legal outcomes. They share strategies for honest communication with children, stressing the need to use age-appropriate language to maintain trust and emotional stability. As we wrap up, the Bulitts introduce us to their online platforms, including their YouTube channel and podcast, which continue to empower individuals and couples in maintaining healthy relationships and navigating breakups with grace. Tune in for a conversation rich with expert advice and heartfelt insights.
Feeling like you're barely holding on while navigating the choppy waters of high-conflict divorce and co-parenting? Meaghan Johnson, also known as "A Mindful Sip" on social media, understands your pain. After a debilitating spinal injury led her down a path of depression, Meaghan transformed her life by blending Eastern and Western healing techniques. In this episode, she brings her hard-earned wisdom to the table, offering an in-depth look at how managing your mind and emotions can be your most powerful tool against external chaos.
Meaghan dives into the treacherous terrain of legal abuse trauma and frequent court appearances, drawing on her own experiences to teach you how to reprogram your mind. Learn how to shift from feeling like a victim to becoming a witness of your thoughts, and discover practical strategies to build resilience against overwhelming emotions. Meaghan’s insights are invaluable for anyone dealing with the hidden struggles of functional depression, where everything looks fine on the outside while turmoil rages within.
We also discuss the power of community support and the "marathon mindset" when facing life's toughest challenges. Meaghan shares personal stories illustrating how to live a fulfilling life despite ongoing adversities, emphasizing the importance of breaking negative thought patterns and building positive habits. For parents, there's a deep dive into empowering children through their anxieties and the impact of societal changes like COVID-19. Tune in for a conversation rich in personal anecdotes and transformative advice, designed to help you find hope and connection in times of isolation.
Unlock the secrets to navigating the choppy waters of parental alienation with Billie Tarascio, an Arizona attorney leading a transformative legal battle. In our revealing sit-down, Billie demystifies the controversial term 'parental alienation' and divulges how it's being redefined as a form of domestic violence within the courtroom. Our discussion peels back the layers of custody disputes, showcasing the careful selection of language that steers clear of the term's stigma, focusing instead on specific behaviors that alter the course of these familial conflicts.
Venture behind the scenes of co-parenting dynamics, where the line between alienation and misunderstanding blurs in the heat of high-conflict situations. Billie's insights, combined with Lisa's perspectives as a former high school English teacher, emphasize the power of concrete examples over generalized labels when presenting cases in court. We tackle the challenges of enforcing parenting plans, the effects of a parent's disparaging remarks, and the intricacies of extracurricular scheduling—all pivotal factors that can tip the scales in legal battles over a child's best interests. This episode is a must-listen for anyone caught in the whirlwind of family law or seeking to protect their rights and the well-being of their children.
Navigating the choppy waters of parenting within a toxic relationship is a journey no one should have to sail alone. In this episode, BTGO's own Chris joins Lisa for a brief, impromptu talk, when we weren't able to connect with our scheduled guest, Christy Keating, the brain behind the Safe Parenting Summit. We unfold the narrative of our workshop titled 'The Top 7 Dangers of Staying in a Toxic Relationship', examining the unintentional lessons children absorb when they grow up in turbulent homes. Our dialogue is a raw look at the harrowing choices parents encounter and the ripples of influence that parental examples cast across generations. As we dissect the complexities of fostering safe environments for our families, we recognize the arduous yet crucial path to breaking free from destructive ties, for the sake of both parents and their little ones.
The Safe Parenting Summit, convened by Christy Keating, brought together 28 seasoned voices in the realm of child rearing, and while Christy couldn't join us, her mission resonates through our episode. We unveil reflections on how adept parenting echoes through time, impacting not just our children but also those yet to come. Drawing from heartfelt tales, including my own dance with the trials of the legal labyrinth that is family court, this conversation underscores the significance of cultivating nurturing relationships. It's a testament to the tenacity of parents everywhere, and an invitation to listen in on how we can all contribute to a legacy of healthier, happier families.
Unveil the hidden mechanisms of narcissistic manipulation as Coach Elizabeth Shaw joins us for a candid discussion on behaviors that disrupt lives and relationships. Together, we dissect 'dry begging', a coercive tactic where narcissists cunningly avoid accountability while getting what they want. Our dialogue takes us through the intricate web of emotional manipulation and gaslighting, challenging listeners to identify when information withholding and secrecy are used as tools for control. This episode is a beacon for understanding, shining a light on the target profiles for narcissists and the multifaceted impacts on their unsuspecting victims.
Venture into the communal spaces where narcissists thrive unnoticed, their charm masking a more diabolical intent. Together, we scrutinize how these individuals strategically manage the flow of information to manipulate perceptions within groups. We dissect the precarious dynamics of confronting such personalities and navigating the complex dance of enabling behaviors. Our exchange offers solace for those who feel isolated in these battles, emphasizing the collective importance of recognizing manipulative patterns and supporting each other's journey toward healing and awareness.
Concluding our conversation, we pivot to the pernicious effects of narcissistic sabotage, particularly within familial ties. Elizabeth provides invaluable insights into the damaging consequences of weaponized incompetence and withholding vital information, strategies often employed to undermine others' success. We also highlight the role of social media as both a battleground and a sanctuary for those recovering from narcissistic abuse. Our talk culminates with a note of gratitude for the supportive community and the empowering discussions that aid in overcoming these challenging experiences. Join us for this momentous episode that promises not only to inform but also to transform the way we perceive and respond to the covert warfare of narcissism.
Unlock the secrets of courtroom success with Judge Anthony Bompiani as we revisit the critical importance of presentation in legal cases. Our conversation peels back the layers of complexity in the justice system, revealing that the strongest case on paper doesn't always emerge victorious. Judge Anthony illuminates how factors like the judge's preferences and jurisdictional variations can overshadow facts and evidence. The art of learning from legal losses is discussed in-depth, with anecdotes to guide both seasoned attorneys and those representing themselves.
We then tackle the nuanced world of audio evidence and its role in legal strategy. We go beyond the black-and-white of one-party versus two-party consent laws, focusing on context and the art of correlating your evidence with the pivotal legal questions at hand. Critical for anyone stepping into a courtroom, our chat highlights the pitfalls of speculative evidence and the power of a solid evidence trail when negotiating or defending your rights.
Wrapping up our intensive discussion, I share my unique perspective as a former English teacher on how the narrative arc and the psychology of persuasion play a pivotal role in courtroom strategy. The episode offers practical advice for making a lasting impression on judges, from organizing testimony to honing one's cross-examination skills. Finally, we reflect on the emotional resilience required in legal battles, emphasizing the often-overlooked impact of positive court staff interactions and the silent victories won through mental preparedness. Join us for these indispensable insights that could make the difference in your next courtroom encounter.
Join us for a rare and enlightening chat with Christy Keating, the powerhouse behind the Heartful Parent Collective and the pioneering Safe Parenting Summit. Christy, with her dual expertise as a certified parent coach and a former sex crimes prosecutor, offers a unique perspective on the multi-faceted issue of child safety in today's complex world. Our conversation steers away from the usual parenting chatter, diving into the critical and often unspoken topics like preventing drug misuse, understanding the realities of trafficking, and fostering healthy relationship models from an early age.
In this engaging exchange, Christy unveils the motivation for creating the Safe Parenting Summit and the breadth of knowledge it offers with an incredible lineup of 28 experts. The summit is designed to empower parents of kids aged 2-16 with strategies and insights to protect their children's emotional and physical well-being. We tackle difficult questions, share resources, and address the fears that keep parents up at night. If you've ever felt overwhelmed by the unseen dangers facing our kids and uncertain about how to approach these heavy topics, this episode will shed light on ways to build a safer environment and give you the confidence to guide your children through these challenging terrains.
Unlock the secrets of courtroom success for self-represented litigants with Connecticut's own Eric Reinkin, a seasoned personal injury attorney, who joins us on a journey through the do's and don'ts of legal self-representation. Whether it's the silent eloquence of turning off your cell phone or the strategic choice of attire, every move counts in the hallowed halls of justice. Eric generously shares insights on managing first impressions and the subtle art of projecting confidence and respect without uttering a word, ensuring that you step into the courtroom ready to sway minds with your professionalism and preparedness.
Dive into the world of courtroom strategy as we dissect the protocols of presenting evidence, from the nuances of color-coded exhibit stickers to the modern approach of electronic submissions. Eric enlightens us on the importance of addressing the court with reverence and crafting arguments that resonate with judicial sensibilities. Together, we navigate the minefield of courtroom etiquette, offering a compendium of wisdom for pro se litigants looking to articulate their cases with clarity and composure. This comprehensive guide is not just about winning your day in court; it’s about mastering the platform where your story unfolds and your rights are upheld.
Embark on an emotional voyage with Ann Silvers, a counselor whose diverse background in microbiology and authorship equips her with unique insights into the stormy seas of high-conflict legal situations. Traverse through the tangle of raw emotions that arise from disputes like toxic divorces and custody battles as Ann draws from her personal and professional experiences to shine a light on how to steer through rage and despair. Discover the lifelines she extends, providing solace and strategies to those entangled in the legal system's web, as we discuss the importance of community and the healing power of understanding you're not alone in your fight for justice.
Feel your way through the maze of your emotions with Ann's guidance, uncovering the importance of accurately labeling and processing these complex signals. Learn how to employ practical tools, such as the "I message," to deftly articulate your emotional experiences, letting go of the pressure they may impose. Ann's metaphorical emotional containers with release valves illuminate the process of capturing the essence of our feelings, enabling us to shed the heavy burden of the past and move forward with a lighter step into the present.
Confront the universal struggles with depression and anxiety head-on as Ann shares simple yet potent techniques to ground yourself and rediscover joy in everyday moments. Gain insight into the transformative power of deep breathing and the "3-3-3" method, designed to anchor you in the now. In addition, Ann's Instagram provides a treasure trove of feel-good quotes, promising a dose of daily inspiration. Through our conversation, we unwrap methods to enhance happiness and self-love, encouraging you to recognize and savor life's positive moments and the resilience within us all.
When Jon, aka "Male Victim Jon," graced our studio, he brought with him the harrowing tales of a 27-year marriage overshadowed by narcissistic abuse and the heartache of parental alienation. Peering into a world where manipulation masquerades as caring, Jon's candid revelation exposes the covert warfare that can thrive within a family, often leaving invisible scars on both children and the alienated parent. Our conversation traverses the challenging terrain of emotional boundaries, passive-aggressive communication, and the formidable task of maintaining one's sense of self in the face of psychological manipulation.
Struggling to co-parent with a narcissistic ex-spouse unveils complexities that extend far beyond the courtroom; they seep into every crevice of post-divorce family life, as Jon recounts with poignant clarity. As we hear about personal anecdotes, including confrontations about financial misconceptions and the emotional labor involved in waiting for estranged children to recognize the truth, this episode serves as a platform to shed light on the subtler forms of domestic violence. His narrative not only offers solace, but also illuminates the potential paths to healing and reconciliation, even after the deepest divisions.
Our journey concludes with a heartwarming transition: the evolution of a digital friendship into a tangible, living connection — underscored by the power of shared experiences and mutual support. Extending beyond the screen, we celebrate the bonds that form in the most unexpected ways, symbolizing hope and solidarity for those navigating similar struggles. Jon's heartfelt 'big old bear hug' to his friend Chris (not Chris from BTGO) is more than a gesture; it's a beacon for listeners everywhere, inviting engagement and fostering a community united in the quest for understanding and recovery from the shadows of narcissistic abuse.
When the ground beneath you shifts, and you find yourself amidst a whirlwind of legal terms and emotional chaos, the guiding hand of someone who's been in the trenches is invaluable. That's what brought Dara Marias, a Las Vegas attorney with a keen understanding of both law and the human heart, to our conversation today. Together, we traverse the terrain of holistic divorce strategies, unearthing the power of emotional agility—a tool crucial for those steering through the storm of divorce. We reflect solemnly on a recent Las Vegas tragedy, reinforcing the necessity for legal professionals like Dara to be peacemakers in volatile situations.
Navigating the choppy waters of co-parenting post-divorce brings its own set of challenges, particularly when domestic violence casts a shadow over the family dynamics. Today's discourse shines a light on the critical need for a secure and protective environment for children, the cornerstone of which is value-based decision making with their welfare at heart. We go beyond the surface to understand the CPR strategy—continuity, protection, reassurance—and its role in fostering a stable atmosphere for children caught in the crossfire. We also tackle the sensitive issue of discussing the other parent, underscoring the significance of professional therapy in nurturing a child's emotional resilience.
As we sail into the concluding part of our discussion, the concept of a peaceful pre-divorce process surfaces, with emphasis on the transformative impact of composure and the use of professional mediators. We share anecdotes on how altering interaction dynamics can craft a pathway to amicable resolutions. The Kainen Law Group's innovative approach to divorce, infused with mediation and emotional support resources, takes center stage, casting a hopeful light on the journey through divorce. With Dara's expertise and our deep dive into these strategies, we leave listeners with a message of grace and empowerment for those embarking on this complex but navigable life chapter.
Have you ever wondered whether a child can flourish under the guidance of just one emotionally attuned parent? Life and parenting coach Darlene Childress joins us to challenge the notion that perfect alignment between co-parents is necessary for raising resilient and emotionally literate children. Our heart-to-heart reveals that the key lies in one parent stepping up as an emotional coach, a beacon of understanding and support that can anchor a child's ability to navigate life's complexities.
Embarking on the path of emotional literacy for ourselves and our kids isn't without its stumbling blocks. In this episode, we dissect the parallels between reading emotions and reading text, understanding how easily misinterpreted feelings can skew our interactions. We delve into the journey of self-discovery and the crucial role of therapy as a substitute for the emotional coaching that children might miss at home. Darlynn's "connection tool" gets a spotlight too, providing strategies for parents to process and acknowledge emotions effectively, fostering deeper connections with their children.
In the grand tapestry of parenting, self-compassion and patience are threads that can't be overlooked. This conversation brings forth the undeniable importance of a parent's presence and the non-negotiable need to be fully there for our kids, especially in the wake of a split. We wrap up by peeking into Darlynn's "Become a Calm Mama" podcast and six-week parenting course designed to empower you with the essentials for nurturing a disciplined, yet loving family dynamic. Join us as we explore these transformative insights that aim to strengthen the parent-child bond, no matter the challenges that lie ahead.
Have you ever stood at the crossroads of hope and fear, wondering if there's a way to bridge the gap between safety for your children and the struggles of co-parenting with an alcohol-involved ex-partner? It's a question that haunts many, but in our latest heart-to-heart, Chris Beck from Soberlink joins us to shed light on how technology can offer a semblance of peace. Through our conversation, we tackle the complex dynamics of alcohol monitoring within parenting plans, addressing the usual red flags and how Soberlink's breathalyzer with facial recognition technology enforces Blood Alcohol Content (BAC) accountability. Chris breaks down the advantages of scheduled testing over random screening, illuminating its role in habit formation and anxiety reduction for those under scrutiny. We navigate the delicate balance between child safety and the potential for monitoring misuse, providing valuable insights for anyone facing the intricacies of co-parenting alongside addiction.
The journey of recovery is not just about the numbers and test results; it's about personal transformation and hope. In this episode, we celebrate the profound impact that consistent testing can have on guiding individuals from the shadow of denial into the light of self-awareness. We dive into the safeguards and protocols Soberlink employs to sidestep false positives, ensuring that the path to sobriety is both fair and accurate. But beyond the nuts and bolts of monitoring compliance, we connect with the stories of those who've walked this path successfully, drawing inspiration from the community that has rallied around Soberlink. You'll get a glimpse of how to join this supportive network, and hear the success stories that serve as beacons of hope for many on their road to recovery. So tune in, as we explore the intersection of technology, accountability, and the human spirit in the quest for a healthier co-parenting environment.
Unlock the secrets to fostering resilience in children amid high-conflict parenting and divorce with relationship coach Raquel Reis, who joins us to share her expert insights and personal experiences. We understand that the chaos of family strife isn't always a commotion; sometimes it can be a silent storm, and in today's conversation, we illuminate the diverse manifestations of such environments. You'll learn about the precocious maturity and emotional intelligence that children, like myself, develop as a coping mechanism and how these traits can mask long-term effects.
Navigating the paradoxical waters of a home where achievement masks discord, we tackle the coping strategies children adopt, from hyper-vigilance to substance abuse, and offer practical advice for parents embroiled in similar situations. Together, we dissect the importance of establishing consistency and routine, illustrating through personal narratives just how essential these elements are for anchoring a child's sense of security. Find out how the daily rituals you establish, like a simple morning walk, can act as beacons of stability for your children.
Wrapping up, our discussion turns toward the family court system and its focus on preserving stability and routine in child custody arrangements. We emphasize the profound impact a supportive adult can have during these formative years and share strategies for parents to acknowledge their children's feelings without overburdening them with adult issues. Join us for an episode that promises not just understanding but also actionable steps for parents seeking harmony and resilience for their children during a time that challenges their very foundation.
Discovering the path to healing isn't always straightforward, but this episode offers a guiding light. Lauren Barnett, an experienced mental health professional turned 'therapy matchmaker,' joins us to unravel the complexities of finding a therapist who truly aligns with your personal struggle. Whether facing the aftermath of domestic violence, navigating the stormy seas of high-conflict divorce, or contending with custody battles, Lauren's insights showcase the urgent need for parental self-regulation and the profound influence it has on children's therapy.
As we peel back the layers of therapeutic relationships, the episode underscores the power of rapport and personal motivation. We share anecdotes from client interactions that illuminate how understanding an individual's history with past authority figures can inform and enhance the therapy experience. It's a dance of intuition and expertise, where the therapist and client co-create a space for healing. This partnership is not just about a professional service, it's a journey we embark upon together, requiring trust, commitment, and the courage to be vulnerable.
This conversation isn't merely academic; it's an exploration of human connections that cut through the often impersonal world of mental health services. We tackle the frustrations of one-size-fits-all therapies and lengthy waitlists, while revealing how personalized matchmaking can revolutionize the process of finding the right professional help, be it for legal counsel or mental wellness. We share our own journeys, highlighting the impact of tailored resources in empowering individuals to make informed decisions and find the support that truly resonates with their unique needs. Join us for this heartfelt discussion that just might lead you to the therapy relationship you've been seeking.
When the weight of the world feels like it's resting on our shoulders, sometimes all we need is someone to help us lift it off. That's where our guest, Maura McIntyre, a seasoned recovery coach, comes in, guiding us through the intricate dance of healing and self-discovery. Whether it's the throes of addiction, the sting of divorce, or the silent battles we fight within ourselves, this episode offers a treasure trove of compassionate strategies. From the magic of breathwork in calming our stress response to the power of embracing discomfort, we learn that recovery is not a one-size-fits-all path but a personalized journey of growth and understanding.
In the throes of anxiety and a world reeling from pandemic aftershocks, finding solid ground can seem like a herculean task. Yet, our discussion pivots to resilience, equipping us with the mental armor to confront our worries and the "what if" scenarios that haunt our quieter moments. Our guest, Maura, invites us to reframe our inner dialogue, challenging the persistent voice in our head that might not truly be our own. By sharing tools to navigate through emotional upheaval, we uncover the secrets to quicker, stronger coping mechanisms that enable us to stand tall amidst life's storms.
Venturing deeper into the heart's territory, we confront the magnetic pull of relationships that reflect our unresolved issues and the courage it takes to break toxic cycles. Through personal anecdotes and reflective insight, Maura illuminates the path to emotional maturity, highlighting the importance of self-honesty in facing our traumas and making life-altering decisions. As we wrap up this episode, we're left with a renewed sense of hope and the understanding that, though life's hurdles may be daunting, the strength to overcome them lies within each of us, ready to be harnessed and celebrated.
Navigating the complexities of blended families and high-conflict parenting plans isn't for the faint of heart — Maarit from Blended Family Frappe joins us with insights as rich and bold as the coffee blend her platform is named after. Anyone who has weathered the storm of high-conflict divorce and co-parenting will find solace and strategy in Marit's invaluable checklist, an essential tool for those navigating the choppy seas of custody arrangements. Our conversation pulls back the curtain on past missteps and the valuable lessons learned, offering a lifeline to others facing similar challenges.
When children's extracurricular activities become pawns in the chess game of post-divorce dynamics, the fallout can be devastating for non-custodial parents. We share harrowing tales from this front line, revealing how the innocent act of signing up for swim team or piano lessons can escalate into a full-blown strategy for alienation. We don't just dissect these problems; we arm you with strategies to safeguard parenting time, protect family unity, and turn the tide against these subtle tactics.
In an episode charged with authenticity, we tackle the nitty-gritty of co-parenting post-divorce. We're talking gear logistics, financial fair play, and the emotional toll of attending children's events amidst unresolved tensions. We don't shy away from discussing the importance of setting boundaries and the reality that sometimes standing up for your family's best interests means not faking a harmonious front. This candid discussion shines a light on creating a family dynamic that champions integrity and resilience for children to model, steering clear of the shallow waters of pretense and false unity.
Unlock the secrets to nurturing resilience in children amidst the turmoil of parental alienation with the insights of Dawn Brauer, a pediatric physical therapist and secure attachment specialist, known on Instagram as @securebabies. In our heart-to-heart, we dissect the psychological battlefield of high-conflict separations, shedding light on how crucial secure attachments are for developing the fortitude needed to endure such experiences. Dawn, with her profound expertise, shares strategies on how to foster healthy boundaries and the significance of a consistent, loving presence in a child's life.
Our conversation takes a deep look into the maze of emotional enmeshment and legal abuse that plagues families going through separation. We examine the adversary tactics often employed in courtrooms and underscore the importance of emotional regulation in such triggering environments. Dawn's guidance illuminates the pathway for parents to navigate these challenges while safeguarding their children's well-being and maintaining their own composure.
As we wrap up our discussion, we delve into the lasting impact of early childhood experiences on brain development and the importance of creating a nurturing environment to counterbalance the negative effects of parental alienation. We also tackle the subject of infantilization within narcissistic dynamics, offering listeners avenues to resources and support for building secure, independent relationships. Join us for this powerful episode that promises to arm you with knowledge and empathy for one of parenting's most challenging journeys.
Unlock the complexities of New Jersey's domestic violence laws with our guest, Melissa Cohen of Seiden Family Law. We're peeling back the layers of the state's legal system, focusing on the evolution and impact of coercive control legislation. Melissa brings a unique dual lens to the table, speaking from her experience representing both victims and individuals wrongfully accused in these emotionally charged cases. We navigate the choppy waters of restraining orders, examining their permanency and the stringent criteria courts consider due to the potential life-altering consequences for those on the receiving end.
Venture into the courtroom with us as we tackle financial abuse, a facet of domestic violence that often goes unseen but has devastating effects. We dissect the repercussions of false allegations, emphasizing the significant role courtroom demeanor plays in swaying judicial outcomes. This episode doesn't just skim the surface; it delves into the systemic challenges plaguing both the child protective services and family court systems, revealing the delays and perceived injustices that families often face. Our conversation also shines light on new legislative efforts that aim to provide better support for domestic violence victims, including the treatment of pets and educational support in divorce cases.
Finally, we explore the rapidly evolving role of technology in co-parenting. Hear how specialized parenting apps can streamline communication and create an indisputable record for the courts, tipping the scales in favor of those who strategize with an invisible judge in mind. We wrap up with a glimpse into the value of networking in the family law community, where building professional bridges can enhance practice in family law and potentially lead to more amicable divorce solutions. If you're navigating the family court system, seeking legal strategies, or simply want a deeper understanding of domestic violence law, this episode is an indispensable resource.
Unlock the secrets of financial stability during one of life's most challenging transitions with our conversation featuring Certified Divorce Lending Professional Kim Pauley. Prepare to find clarity amidst the turbulence of asset division as we discuss strategic financial planning in divorce, particularly when it comes to the marital home. Kim, a seasoned CDLP, joins us to unravel the intertwined relationship between emotional well-being and financial security post-separation. This episode is a must-listen for anyone facing the daunting task of reorganizing their financial life after a marriage ends, offering invaluable insights into the critical importance of considering future living arrangements and their impact on overall recovery. Gain an edge with the collaborative wisdom of a dedicated divorce mortgage lending professional. Our discussion ventures into the nitty-gritty of legal and tax implications, debunking myths around loan qualifications, and presenting alternative pathways to securing a mortgage in the post-divorce landscape. Kim brings her expertise to the forefront, equipping you with the knowledge to pose the right questions and make informed decisions. We shine a light on the pitfalls of uninformed financial advice and emphasize the necessity of expert guidance during such a pivotal moment. If you're navigating the complexities of a divorce, this episode will arm you with the tools and confidence to emerge with a solid financial foundation.
Prepare to be guided through the emotional terrain of co-parenting by none other than Anthony Johnson, affectionately known as "AJ the Co-Parenting Coach." Take a seat with us as we traverse the complexities of navigating parenting post-separation, addressing the harmful effects of competitive parenting and how it feeds into high-conflict scenarios. With AJ's expert insights, learn to counterbalance the negativity that may arise when one parent speaks ill of the other before their child, and understand why standing your ground with calm, factual responses is more effective than entering the ring of defensiveness.
Through a lens shaped by his 15-year military service and tenure as a sexual assault response coordinator, AJ brings to light the burdens of guilt and shame that can shackle parents amidst separation. We dissect the pitfalls of competitive parenting, advocating for a cooperative spirit that holds children's best interests above the fray of parental ego battles. This episode offers a beacon for those seeking to foster a collaborative co-parenting environment, one that's rooted in empathy and understanding rather than judgment and rivalry.
As we wrap up our exploration, we delve into the critical role of communication in co-parenting, we share personal anecdotes on addressing parenting style differences with empathy. We confront the long-term emotional toll parental disparagement can place on children, while also pondering the tender balance of protecting young ones within the family court system. We tackle these nuances head-on, providing a wealth of knowledge for any parent striving to shield their child from conflict and foster a loving, supportive co-parenting dynamic.
How do abusers exploit the tax system to further control their victims? In this episode, we're joined by Nancy Rosner, an esteemed attorney and executive director of the Community Tax Law Project, to uncover the chilling tactics used in financial manipulation through taxes during and after separations, divorces, and custody battles. Nancy sheds light on fraudulent activities such as falsely claiming dependents, filing deceitful joint returns, and misusing personal information. She offers actionable strategies for victims, emphasizing the importance of filing paper returns and meticulously keeping records.
Navigating the perilous landscape of financial abuse post-separation requires constant vigilance. Abusers often take advantage of personal information to open unauthorized businesses or take out loans, leading to severe tax and financial consequences for the victims. We discuss practical measures to safeguard against these threats, such as utilizing the IP PIN program and regularly checking credit reports from major agencies like Experian, TransUnion, and Equifax. We highlight the risks of filing joint tax returns with an abusive spouse, along with essential tips to monitor and protect one's financial health.
Divorce brings its own set of tax complications, especially when one party signs tax returns under duress or without full understanding. Nancy delves into joint liability for tax debts and explores relief options like "innocent spouse relief." The importance of consulting with tax attorneys and coordinating with family lawyers during divorce proceedings is stressed, particularly in cases involving shared businesses or significant debts. We also highlight free tax filing resources like the new IRS direct file program and the Volunteer Income Tax Assistance (VITA) program, offering crucial support for individuals, especially those emerging from abusive relationships. Tune in for these critical insights and empower yourself with knowledge to navigate these taxing challenges.
Navigating the stormy seas of raising boys through divorce and aggression can feel overwhelming, but Tosha Schore from Parenting Boys Peacefully joins us to chart a course toward calmer waters. Our latest episode unpacks the "boys will be boys" mentality, revealing how it hinders our ability to see through to the heart of our sons' struggles. Tosha's expertise shines as we dissect the importance of establishing loving limits and the profound ripple effect parental behavior has on a child's future relationships. We also dive into the complexities of co-parenting, where values may clash, highlighting strategies for maintaining consistency and nurturing resilience in boys, even when family dynamics shift.
The warning signs of a child in distress can often be mistaken for typical roughhousing or dismissed as a phase. Our conversation with Tosha illuminates these red flags, from unusual aggression to habits children use to dull their feelings. We emphasize the counterintuitive truth that allowing boys to articulate their emotions can actually decrease aggressive tendencies. Together, we explore the critical need for normalizing and navigating these challenging emotions, both for the child and the parents, who hold the key to guiding their sons through these tumultuous experiences with compassion and understanding.
Finally, we delve into Tosha's "Out with Aggression" course, a beacon of hope for parents adrift in the chaos of boyhood aggression. She provides actionable insights into steering clear of common pitfalls and embracing the transformative power of play and connection. For any parent feeling isolated or ashamed in the face of their child's aggressive behavior, our episode reaffirms that you're not navigating these choppy waters alone. With the support of a compassionate community and Tosha's wise guidance, parents can find the tools they need for a peaceful transformation, ensuring that the journey through aggression is one of hope, healing, and eventual harmony.
Have you ever pondered the tightrope walk that Child Protective Services (CPS) workers perform daily? Our guest, Evynne Fair, a veteran attorney with deep roots in law enforcement and CPS, joins us to illuminate the delicate balance between child safety and legal warfare in the context of domestic violence and contentious divorces. With Evynne's rich experience and personal connection to the subject at hand, we unravel the complexities that families face when CPS intersects with the legal system—often being misused as a cudgel in vindictive reporting by those seeking to maintain control through abuse.
The challenges don't stop there; our discussion casts a spotlight on the hurdles CPS workers confront, such as discerning between authentic concerns and malicious allegations intended to tip the scales in litigation. The frustration that bubbles up in communities when action is not taken, despite alarming signals from schools or therapists, is real and palpable. What's more, we dissect the intricacies behind mandatory protection orders in Colorado and the perils of misidentifying victims in criminal cases, offering a rare glimpse into the courtroom's tug-of-war between justice and child welfare.
As we conclude, we touch on the soulful dance between empathy and professionalism in the demanding arena of family law. Evynne escorts us through her journey—from the trenches of CPS to the courtroom—highlighting the psychological impact of working with individuals in crisis and the importance of maintaining civility in the highly charged domain of legal advocacy. We explore the harrowing trend of false abuse allegations in high-conflict divorces and the ethical quagmire it creates for all involved, emphasizing the sobering costs it imposes on professionals and the legal system at large. Join us for a powerful episode that brings the nuanced dance of empathy and detachment into the spotlight, offering a thought-provoking analysis that is as enlightening as it is essential.
Discover the unexpected strength and joy found in the art of pole dancing as Aileen, the vibrant owner of Empowered Aerial Fitness Studio, joins us for a profound conversation about transformation and community. In this episode, we unravel Aileen's personal journey of resilience following her divorce and how it inspired the creation of a space where self-discovery and empowerment are celebrated through dance. Encountering common misconceptions head-on, we redefine pole dancing as a source of inner confidence, highlighting that it's more about personal empowerment than any preconceived stereotypes.
This heartfelt discussion shines a light on the therapeutic nature of dance, revealing its potential as a refuge for those seeking emotional release. Aileen shares earnest insights into how the physicality of dance can provide solace, allowing individuals to express and manage their emotions in a cathartic way. Moreover, we delve into the depth of human connections formed in fitness communities, contrasting the solidarity of gym routines with the joyous communion found in dance classes. We underscore the importance of being seen and supported, a fundamental aspect of well-being in any fitness journey.
Wrapping up our enlightening dialogue, we highlight stories of empowerment and the sense of belonging that women find within the pole dancing community. From moms in their 40s to first-timers, the tales of self-love and acceptance are nothing short of inspiring. We invite listeners to consider the warmth and encouragement awaiting at Empowered Aerial Fitness Studio, where each individual's presence is a cherished addition to the collective narrative of growth. And as for the future, we look forward to empowering more individuals to take flight in their own fitness voyages, fostering self-care and celebrating every climb to the top.
Unlock the complexities of raising children with special needs in high-conflict situations with the help of Lisa Lightner, an expert IEP advocate and a mother with firsthand experience. This episode is a deep dive into the realities of co-parenting and special education, providing you with the knowledge and tools to navigate the education system and advocate for your child. We discuss the critical role of Individualized Education Programs (IEP) and how to determine if your child might benefit from one. You'll also find guidance on managing disagreements with a co-parent who disputes your child's diagnosis, alongside strategies for maintaining your child's well-being during these challenging circumstances.
The conversation extends into legal and emotional terrains, dissecting how shared custody can impact decisions about a child's education and the importance of both parents being involved in IEP meetings. For parents preparing for air travel, we share valuable tips to ease the journey for children with autism. Delving into the sensitive issues of guardianship, sibling dynamics, and the need for qualified mental health professionals, this episode does not shy away from the difficult discussions that many families face. Recognizing the mental health service gaps that exist, especially for those in remote areas, we shed light on the resources that can help bridge these disparities and support your family's journey. Join us for an illuminating session that promises to empower parents and caregivers of special needs children navigating divorce and co-parenting.
Listen in as we explore the harrowing world of cyber sex abuse with Lindsay Lieberman, an attorney with a deep specialization in sexual violence and cyber sexual violence. In a gripping discussion, we unravel the complexities of revenge porn and its recent recognition under Jennifers' Law in Connecticut. Lindsay brings to light the broader scope of cyber sex abuse, which encompasses acts like sex distortion, illustrating the severe consequences these crimes inflict on victims and their communities. The conversation is an eye-opener on the urgency for legal reform, the disparities in state laws, and the absence of federal legislation to combat these growing crimes.
Venture into the thorny terrain of cyber sexual privacy violations within the tangled web of divorce and family law. This segment reveals the hurdles victims face when trying to enforce restraining orders against those who weaponize intimate imagery as a form of revenge. Lindsay underscores the critical need for specialized legal representation and the importance of educating professionals, such as divorce attorneys and law enforcement, on the nuances of these evolving crimes. Moreover, we delve into the ominous role of artificial intelligence in generating non-consensual imagery, emphasizing the dire need for legal systems to evolve and offer robust protection in the digital era.
Finally, join us as we address the sophisticated menace of coercive control, a psychological warfare that leaves no physical scars but inflicts deep emotional wounds. We dissect the legal options available and celebrate the landmark enactment of Jennifers' Law in providing a legal shield for victims. Lindsay advocates for trauma-sensitive lawyering, stressing the importance of attorneys who not only fight for justice but also foster a safe and empowering environment for their clients. We share insights into the cruciality of empathy and understanding in legal practice, and how these qualities can significantly influence the well-being of survivors, especially in high-stakes scenarios such as divorce.
As Lisa navigated the stormy seas of decision-making within her own twenty-year relationship, she realized the universality of the dilemma: to mend or end a union that once promised to last forever. This episode blossoms from that personal quandary, extending a hand to those wrestling with the choice of staying or departing from a difficult marriage. Karen Covey, a seasoned divorce coach, joins us, infusing the conversation with her deep understanding and compassionate guidance, ensuring that our listeners facing this crossroad don't walk alone but are equipped to step forward without a shadow of regret.
We then cast a light on the daunting path out of an abusive relationship, beginning with the often-overlooked cornerstone of financial independence. From the discretion of gift cards to the vital role of employment support networks, we lay out a blueprint for those preparing to break free. Moreover, we illuminate the invaluable aid provided by domestic violence shelters and support groups like Rainbows for All Children, which stand as beacons of hope and stability for the tender hearts of children caught in the crossfire.
In the final leg of our journey, we trace the intricate lines of divorce and parenting, sharing heartfelt anecdotes and stratagems for navigating this delicate terrain. We tackle the heart-wrenching reality of shielding truths from children, the emotional tightrope of managing their loyalties, and the rejuvenating quest for self-discovery once the dust of divorce has settled. Our candid dialogue strives to furnish you with the wisdom and empowerment only education can bestow, and we part with an eager anticipation of future exchanges that will continue to unravel the complexities of high-conflict divorce.
Unlock the secrets to a peaceful end to marriage with Tracy Moore Grant, the visionary behind the Amicable Divorce Network, as she introduces a humane alternative to the nightmare of high-conflict divorce. Our discussion unveils the stark contrast between combative "pit bull" attorneys and their more conciliatory "golden retriever" counterparts, diving into Tracy's transformative approach designed to steer couples through divorce with dignity, fairness, and less financial strain. The innovative principles of the Amicable Divorce Network shine a light on the path to an amicable resolution, saving families from the anguish of a drawn-out courtroom battle.
Tune in for a candid look at the harsh landscape of high-conflict divorce litigation and learn how to reclaim control over the decision-making process. Tracy shares her expertise on the importance of being an informed and proactive participant in your own divorce, offering insights into the power dynamics between clients and attorneys. We tackle the challenges faced by those in high-conflict scenarios and provide practical strategies for engaging a hesitant partner in a more amicable approach. The discussion underscores the significance of collaborative effort in preserving the co-parenting bond and ensuring an empowered journey through divorce.
Our conversation culminates with a global vision for a kinder future in family law, marked by a shift towards less adversarial practices. Tracy highlights the Network's impressive success rate in settling disputes outside the courtroom and the critical role of the right divorce professional in enabling smoother transitions. As we consider the impact of generational changes in attitudes towards marriage and divorce, there's a sense of optimism that the days of high-conflict divorce may be numbered. Join us as we explore the potential for a cultural revolution in divorce proceedings, led by the wisdom and dedication of those like Tracy Moore Grant.
Discover the keys to confidently navigating the legal system with or without an attorney, as Ruth Chung, a NYC matrimonial attorney with a unique blend of forensic psychology and bartending prowess, returns to share valuable insights. Arm yourself with the knowledge to approach court proceedings with a clear strategy and understanding, as Ruth highlights the crucial role of credibility and effective storytelling in capturing the judge's attention. Whether you're facing a legal battle or simply fascinated by the intricacies of family law, this episode promises to equip you with practical advice to tackle the courtroom with assurance.
Embark on a journey through the transformative landscape of divorce and relationships, where mental health support and judicial education take center stage. Tune in to hear our in-depth conversation with Ruth on the significance of ongoing judicial education in adapting to new societal norms, the misunderstood concepts of asset ownership during a divorce, and the importance of financial literacy. Join us for an honest, enlightening discussion that sheds light on the modern complexities of legal challenges and how to face them with a well-informed and strategic mindset.
Ever found yourself with an injury out of nowhere, like that hamstring strain that popped up during your morning run? Brian Wolfe, a physical therapist who's an expert in intertwining rehab and athletic performance, joins us to uncover the surprising ways stress can hijack our bodies and interfere with our fitness goals. We delve into his personal journey and the innovative strategies he employs to combat stress-related injuries. With a focus on the mind-body link, we uncover actionable insights that go beyond the typical ice pack and foam roller, aiming to empower you to tackle stress head-on and keep your body performing at its peak.
The conversation takes a deeper dive into the psychological labyrinth of pain and recovery. Drawing from the fascinating parallels between healing from a physical ailment and navigating the complexities of the legal system, we bring in the wisdom of our friend Raiford Palmer, a seasoned attorney with a keen eye for the human element in professional success. Together, with a mix of professional expertise and lived experiences, we explore the foundational practices that bolster health and wellness, breaking them down into the KISS method — simple, yet profound steps that anyone can incorporate into their hectic lives. Tune in for this transformative dialogue that just might reshape your understanding of stress, pain, and the pursuit of well-being.
When the weight of unresolved trauma and the echoes of high-conflict relationships bear down on us, finding a therapeutic anchor can be our saving grace. Victoria Du Barry, from In Balance Psychotherapy, joins us to share her deeply empathetic approach to healing these wounds. With her extensive experience in mental health and substance abuse counseling, Victoria takes us through the journey of trust-building with clients, particularly those entangled in the throes of divorce or custody disputes. She also highlights the often-overlooked struggles of seemingly successful individuals who find themselves in destructive relationships, illuminating the path to recognizing and addressing their internal conflicts.
Children, too, are at the heart of this episode's conversation, as Victoria emphasizes the critical role parents play in demonstrating healthy communication and conflict resolution. We pull back the curtain on how our interactions within the family unit set the stage for our children's future relational blueprints. The discussion veers into the transformative power of feeling validated within a relationship, and with Victoria's guidance, we begin to differentiate the nuanced threads of stress and anxiety. Our exploration into these mental health challenges is both timely and poignant, acknowledging the collective trauma of the pandemic and offering practical coping strategies like the grounding 5-4-3-2-1 technique and the 'brain dump' method.
Wrapping up, we delve into the treacherous waters of emotional triggers and defensiveness, learning how to identify the signs and navigate them with greater self-awareness. Victoria illuminates the 'anger iceberg,' a critical concept in understanding the complex emotions that fuel our fiery responses. As we conclude, Victoria extends an invitation for listeners to connect with her at @inbalancepsytherapy on Instagram for further insights into maintaining psychological health. This episode promises to leave you armed with a deeper understanding and actionable tools to foster healing and resilience in your mental health journey.
Ever wondered why the advice to "treat others as you want to be treated" doesn't always pan out in complex situations? Communications expert Dawn Hennessey joins us to unpack this puzzle, introducing a more nuanced approach to interpersonal relationships that could be your key to unlocking more meaningful connections. Together, we navigate the DISC communication styles — Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, and Compliance — and reveal how recognizing and adapting to these styles can dramatically enhance the way we interact with others, particularly in high-stakes conversations like those with ex-partners or during conflict.
The way we communicate with our children can build bridges or walls, and in this candid exchange with Dawn, we focus on the power of DISC in parenting. Sharing a personal breakthrough moment, Lisa illustrates how aligning her communication style with her child's DISC profile transformed their relationship. We dissect the significance of understanding each child's unique communication needs and how granting them a sense of agency can lead to stronger, more resilient family bonds—even in the face of challenges like divorce or custody complexities.
Wrapping up our insightful conversation, we draw interesting parallels between orchestrating successful business teams and nurturing a thriving family dynamic. We reflect on the essential ingredients for building a family team that operates with the same harmony and purpose as the most synchronized corporate groups. Tune in for an episode that's not just enlightening but also brimming with actionable wisdom for fostering deeper connections in every facet of your life.
Embark on a journey with us as Christelyn Karazin, the brain behind the "Pink Pill," returns to dissect the unique struggles and triumphant stories of Black women charting new territories in relationships. We're pulling back the curtains on the societal and cultural challenges they face, from the stigmas attached to being 'relationship refugees' to the pressures of navigating intercultural dating. Our conversation promises to illuminate the audacious path Black women are carving out in their quest for equanimity in love, alongside the resistance they often encounter within their own communities.
The tides are turning for Generation X Black women, and we're here to celebrate the wave of 'black girl luxury' and the pursuit of the 'soft life'. It's more than just a tagline; it's a burgeoning ethos that Black women are wholeheartedly embracing. Yet, with this shift comes a complex interplay of empowerment and vulnerability. Christelyn shares poignant tales that underscore the necessity for discernment and self-care as Black women approach the crossroads of personal success and relational bliss, and the backlash they may face for defying conventional expectations.
Finally, we revel in the power of allyship and the unwavering spirit of Black women as they break through barriers. We highlight the Pink Pill's role in bolstering self-assurance and creating a sanctuary of support. Plus, we shine a light on Christelyn's latest endeavor, Watered Body Care — a skincare haven for women with deeper and mature skin tones. Her dedication to fostering holistic self-care exemplifies the episode's heart: uplifting confidence, care, and choice in every facet of life for Black women.
Embark on an enlightening journey through the often-turbulent realm of family law as Legally Nik, a UK-based child protection lawyer, offers a deep dive into the delicate balance of child welfare and parental conflict. Our discussion reveals the profound impact of family dynamics on children, especially during separations fraught with domestic disputes. Nik shares her wealth of experience in safeguarding children, advocating for peace over strife, and training social workers to navigate these sensitive issues. This episode is a masterclass in understanding the nuanced responsibilities of those involved in child protection, providing insights that reach beyond the legal framework to touch on the core of human relationships.
For those entangled in the webs of custody battles, our conversation sheds light on the emotional consequences that parental disagreements can have on the youngest members of the family. We explore alternatives to the adversarial court system, such as mediation and parenting apps, and consider how these options might spare children from becoming collateral damage in their parents' disputes. This episode doesn't just highlight the problems; it offers a beacon of hope for resolving conflicts constructively. By focusing on communication and understanding, we underscore the idea that the most effective solutions often emerge from outside the courtroom.
In a poignant finale, we grapple with the complexities of parental alienation and its influence on child custody. We recount the struggles of non-resident parents to maintain meaningful relationships with their children, and we delve into the role of CAFCAS in family court decisions. Nik imparts essential information on keeping a level head and heart in the face of parenting challenges, ensuring that the child's emotional safety remains paramount. As we wrap up, there's a collective sense of gratitude for the shared wisdom and an enthusiastic look ahead to future episodes that will tackle the intricate topic of working with evaluators. Join us for this compelling episode that is as informative as it is moving, providing a much-needed perspective on the intersection of law and family life.
Navigating the stormy seas of a divorce tangled with religious and narcissistic abuse, Chelsey Brooke Cole joins us to unravel the intricate patterns of such cruelty and share strategies for safeguarding the precious parent-child connection. Our heart-to-heart conversation reveals the disturbing reality some face when a narcissistic co-parent distorts religion to manipulate innocent children against the other parent. We shed light on the importance of validating these young ones' emotions, helping them understand that judgment is reserved for a higher power, and empowering listeners to recognize the abuse and preserve their own sense of self.
Facing the daunting task of co-parenting with a narcissist demands a toolkit for emotional survival, and Chelsey shares exactly that with the "DEEP" method — a key to maintaining sanity when confronting a narcissist's controlling ways. Chelsey's personal and professional insights illuminate the path to healing, highlighting the transformational power of setting boundaries and personal development. We unpack the concept of "good enough" parenting, offering solace and guidance for those struggling to maintain a stable environment for their children amidst the chaos sown by a narcissistic ex-partner.
The final notes of our episode focus on the aftermath of a narcissistic relationship and the rekindling of joy and self-awareness. It's about rediscovering the laughter and lightness life has to offer, whether through reality TV or line dancing, and the essential journey of reconnecting with oneself. We explore together the therapeutic potential of simple pleasures and encourage our listeners to step out and reclaim their lives with each small but significant triumph. Join us in this empowering exploration towards healing and rediscovery after the painful entanglement with narcissistic abuse.
Therapist Sybil Cummin brings her depth of insight to our latest episode, shining a light on the transformative effects of community support for those engulfed in the family court system and the aftermath of domestic and narcissistic abuse. The episode peels back the layers of a subject too often shrouded in silence, offering a beacon of hope and understanding for professional women striving to preserve their integrity against the tides of manipulation. Sybil's expertise guides listeners through the process of rebuilding trust and the critical role empathy plays in healing, providing a much-needed discourse on the power of a nurturing network to expedite the journey to recovery.
Navigating the turbulent waters of domestic violence, particularly when children are involved, poses a special kind of challenge within the realm of therapy. The episode confronts the stereotypes and the intricacies of addressing such violence in a therapeutic setting, drawing from my own practice experiences. We dissect the art of maintaining professional boundaries and client confidentiality amidst these complex dynamics, emphasizing the necessity for therapists to be armed with specialized training and an empathetic ear to advocate effectively for those caught in the crossfire.
Our discussion traverses the delicate paths therapists tread when working with children amid high-conflict divorces, underscoring the importance of unbiased communication with parents and the child's right to a voice within therapy. The importance of creating a haven for expression and self-discovery is highlighted in our conversation about therapy room dynamics. As we wrap up, we touch upon the logistical side of connecting with therapeutic services and extend an invitation to those seeking support to reach out to Rising Beyond PC, where the principles discussed are actively put into practice and where healing begins with every session.
Unlock the secrets to financial empowerment during divorce with Rhonda Noordyk, the trailblazing founder of the Women's Financial Wellness Center. In our latest heart-to-heart, we tear down the barriers to uncovering hidden assets and shed light on the DAM method—a lifeline for those feeling adrift in the murky financial waters of divorce. We dissect the challenges of negotiating with high-conflict ex-partners, stressing the non-negotiable: knowledge is power and verifiable proof is your anchor. Rhonda guides us through the treacherous terrain of partial or non-disclosure, equipping you with the strategies to claim what's rightfully yours.
Empathy meets expertise as we navigate the currents of trust and verification in divorce proceedings. Understanding your financial and legal standing isn't just prudent—it's imperative. We break down how to transform hope into actionable strategy, advocating for your future one informed decision at a time. We throw a spotlight on the indispensable role of private investigators and forensic accountants in unearthing assets that could redefine your settlement. If you've felt outmatched in the legal arena, this episode is your rallying cry to build a team that turns the tide in your favor.
As we chart the journey through divorce, Rhonda's wisdom is a beacon of advocacy and self-care. We explore how supporting others can sometimes spring from our own healing process and the crucial need for self-preservation in the storm of legal battles. Amplifying women's voices through her podcast, "Disrupting Divorce Conversations for Women," Rhonda is steadfast in her mission to guide you to safer shores. Join us for a conversation that doesn't just share stories of triumph but equips you to become your own success story.
Navigating the choppy waters of divorce is tough enough, but when teens are caught in the emotional undertow, it's crucial to have someone like Dr. Unnatti Jain on board. As a certified parenting coach and a seasoned navigator of her own divorce, Dr. Jain joins us to discuss the often subtle and profound ways in which divorce can reshape a teenager's world. Her book "A Parent Teen Journey" and her poignant TED Talk form the backdrop of our conversation, as we uncover the transition from exerting control to forging deep connections with our adolescents.
Our chat with Dr. Jain throws a compassionate light on the emotional landscape of teens during high-conflict separations. The discussion reveals how these seismic family shifts can trigger academic pitfalls, behavioral changes, and mental health concerns in the lives of our teenage children. Dr. Jain doesn't just highlight the problems; she equips us with strategies to combat loyalty conflicts and underscores the vital need for emotional availability, even when the road seems steep and unyielding.
We wrap our talk with Dr. Jain focusing on the avenues available to parents who are struggling to bridge the emotional gap with their teens. She distinguishes the forward-looking nature of coaching from the problem-diagnosing approach of therapy, resonating particularly with teens eager to forge ahead and leave their struggles behind. Finally, the critical importance of addressing emotional neglect is emphasized, leaving us with a powerful reminder: our emotional presence is key to supporting our children's well-being through the toughest of times.
Unlock the hidden therapeutic power of tutoring with our expert guest, Dominique Benson, who brings her extensive biochemistry and biomedical science background into the heartwarming realm of education. As the guiding force behind Engaged Mind Academy, Dominique unveils how her agency goes beyond academics, providing crucial emotional support for children during family upheavals like high-conflict divorces. Discover through a poignant narrative how personalized academic care deeply affects a child's emotional well-being, and learn why a tutor’s role often mirrors that of an unsung therapist, crafting a nurturing and enjoyable learning journey in subjects like math and science.
Embark on a revelatory discussion about the sanctuary tutors create, where students can shed their fears of judgment and bolster their academic confidence. We examine the seldom-spoken truths about the vital support network tutoring offers, especially when families face tumultuous events that could leave a child’s educational needs by the wayside. We illuminate how Engaged Mind Academy fosters a haven for intellectual and personal growth, positioning students for triumph as they navigate the critical milestones leading up to their senior year of high school and beyond. Don't miss out on these profound insights, and get ready to see how Dominique Benson is redefining the landscape of tutoring—one student at a time.
Unlock the secrets to fortifying your digital life as Vance Long of The Skain Group joins us to dissect the chilling realities of cybersecurity threats and their far-reaching consequences. Our recent discourse takes an unsettling turn into the world of cyber-stalking and ransomware, highlighted by the Kansas court system's breach, exposing the vulnerabilities within our judiciary's digital walls. We break down the daunting statistic that such cyberattacks occur every 11 seconds and offer actionable advice on safeguarding sensitive information. Listen closely as we provide a toolkit of data protection strategies, from password managers to two-factor authentication, essential for anyone navigating the precarious terrain of family law matters.
The journey through cybersecurity does not end with personal data; it extends into the vehicles we drive every day. Our conversation navigates the complexities of automotive data security, from the Lexus breach in Japan to the implications for lawyers safeguarding client confidentiality. We scrutinize how our cars, once simple machines, have evolved into data repositories on wheels, with policies like Tesla's underscoring the depth of information collected. The advice we share isn't just for those with an armada of IT support; it's particularly crucial for solo attorneys who stand as their own line of defense against digital threats.
As we wrap up this compelling session, the specter of "fake revenge" looms, a new breed of AI-generated deceit forging images and scenarios with devastating potential. We explore the inadequacies of current recourse and the urgent call for legal adaptation to these digital dangers. Our parting wisdom includes robust privacy practices that can armor you against such insidious attacks, while also teasing an upcoming class through TSG that promises to bolster your defenses even further. Follow us on Instagram to join the conversation and prepare for more insightful discussions as we continue to unravel the intricacies of technology's shadowy corners.
Navigating the stormy seas of a high-conflict divorce can leave parents and children seeking a lifeline of wisdom. That's precisely what Dr. Christopher Willard offers in our heartfelt conversation, guiding families toward creating a sanctuary of stability amidst the chaos. We traverse the emotional landscape parents and children face, focusing on the significance of self-care and mental resilience for parents to remain the bedrock of support their children need. Dr. Willard, with his profound expertise in mindfulness and psychology, provides actionable strategies to foster serene environments for kids and fortify parental well-being.
Amidst the challenges of co-parenting, we shine a light on the transformative power of positive adult influences and structured experiences for children coming from high-conflict backgrounds. Through our rich dialogue, we emphasize how settings like summer camps, school programs, and therapy can serve as oases of encouragement and growth. The discussions reveal that beyond the immediate family drama, nurturing narratives from supportive relationships and engaging activities are crucial in steering children towards resilience and emotional stability.
As we draw to a close, we address the delicate intricacies of child custody and the painstaking process of mending strained relationships. We offer compassionate advice and practical steps to help parents cope with the heartbreak of parental alienation, underscoring the importance of maintaining connection and practicing self-compassion. Our exchange culminates with a discussion on Dr. Willard's impactful resources and his work to support those enduring the arduous path through high-conflict divorce. For parents and families in the throes of these challenges, this episode serves as a beacon of hope and guidance.
Embark on a transformative exploration of the heart and mind with Shawniel Chamanlal, a renowned clinical social worker and the driving force behind Healing Springs Wellness Center. Together, we uncover the intricate tapestry of emotional scars left by toxic relationships, and the arduous yet rewarding journey toward healing. Our personal battles with abandonment resonate throughout our discussion, as Shawniel illuminates the profound influence of childhood and adult experiences on the patterns we weave in our intimate connections and friendships. We peer into the depths of self-awareness, where the recognition of recurring emotional turmoil serves as a beacon, guiding us toward the possibility of change and the embrace of holistic wellness.
Venture further into the healing process as we confront trauma with a shift from fear to curiosity, a pivotal step in emotional liberation. Discover the profound impact of therapeutic techniques like EMDR, mindfulness, and grounding practices, which emerge as powerful tools in soothing the remnants of bygone wounds. Our dialogue traverses the practicality of these strategies in navigating the emotionally charged waters of co-parenting after separation. Through the cathartic power of written word and candid conversation, we reveal pathways to acknowledge and release emotions, crafting a narrative of resilience and growth.
As the journey unfolds, we grapple with the non-linear nature of healing from past relationship trauma, understanding that personal growth often springs from the most challenging roots. In the quiet corners of new, secure relationships, we may find old triggers waiting to be acknowledged and skillfully managed. We share insights on the importance of self-worth, boundary-setting, and personal advocacy as cornerstones of true healing. By weaving tales of breakthroughs and advocacy, we cast a light on the broader impact of healing, celebrating its potential to alter the course of generational patterns and foster healthier relationships for ourselves and our loved ones.
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Facing the financial unknown can be terrifying, especially when it comes to divorce. But what if you had a guide to lead you through the monetary maze of separation? Enter Catherine Shanahan from My Divorce Solution, our beacon of clarity in this episode. She joins us to debunk the myth that divorce is unaffordable and shines a light on the real cost of staying in an unhealthy marriage. With her deep financial acumen, Catherine delves into the essential realm of financial literacy, from dissecting tax returns to confronting the daunting task of substantiating financial claims against a narcissistic partner.
When the division of assets looms large on the horizon of a divorce, being unprepared is not an option. Catherine walks us through the critical role of Qualified Domestic Relations Orders in splitting retirement assets, and how a specialized QDRO administrator can make all the difference. We also grapple with the thorny issue of asset dissipation and infidelity, stressing the importance of meticulous documentation and cost-benefit analysis. Catherine implores listeners to keep their emotions in check, to focus on the facts, and to understand that sometimes the fight for financial justice is worth the battle.
Finally, we chart the course for financial recovery post-divorce, tackling the challenge of rebuilding credit with the same precision as a strategic game plan. Catherine offers sage advice on why it's vital to maintain a strong credit score and outlines the refinancing ropes for the family home. Her empowering message reinforces the value of education through My Divorce Solution's resources, equipping our listeners with the tools to take control of their financial futures. After all, knowledge isn't just power—it's peace of mind during life's most tumultuous transitions.
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Navigate the complex journey of co-parenting with the wisdom of Anthony Johnson, a seasoned leadership coach with a military background and experience in sensitive family dynamics. Uncover strategies for managing guilt and shame, and learn how to set boundaries that lead to personal and parental fulfillment. Anthony's unique approach blends the discipline of military training with the compassion needed to guide families through the challenges of co-parenting, offering a lifeline in turbulent times.
This episode is a deep dive into the emotional rollercoaster that often accompanies the end of a relationship, particularly when children are involved. We explore the pitfalls of decisions made from a place of guilt, the importance of living authentically, and the role of boundaries in protecting your peace of mind. You'll come away with a better understanding of how to communicate effectively with your children, even when they're with the other parent, and how to maintain your composure under legal pressures.
We wrap up with a heartfelt exchange about the power of acceptance and self-reflection. Facing the harsh realities of legal disputes can test your emotional fortitude, but Anthony provides actionable advice for staying grounded and making decisions that serve you and your children's best interests. Join us for an episode filled with practical guidance and emotional support, designed to help you turn the page and write a new chapter in your co-parenting journey.
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Experience a profound journey of compassion and understanding as we sit down with Jim Littlefield-Dalmares, the remarkable mind behind the "Seeing Ability" podcast and a beacon of support for parents raising children with special needs. Our conversation transcends the usual discussion, delving into the emotional gambit from the shock of diagnosis to the complexities of everyday life that can lead to an increased divorce rate among these courageous families. Jim, a father himself, opens up about his personal narrative and provides a preview of his upcoming book, promising to be a wellspring of comfort and actionable wisdom for those on a similar path.
Through the heart of the episode, we navigate the essential areas of self-care and acceptance. Here, we capture the essence of what it means to be a parent in these challenging yet rewarding circumstances. We focus on the importance of donning your own oxygen mask first, affirming that self-preservation is key to being the rock your children need. The episode does not shy away from discussing invisible disabilities and confronting the societal judgments that these families often endure. Through vivid stories and relatable experiences, we illuminate the path toward transforming these struggles into teachable moments and fostering a sense of inclusivity and community support.
As we conclude this empowering installment, we celebrate the beauty of the present and the joys peppered in the small, yet mighty triumphs of parenting children with special needs. We share the beauty found in discarding the "never ever list" and embracing children for who they are, as championed by organizations like Smile on Down Syndrome. Jim extends a heartfelt invitation to connect and contribute to a collective narrative that uplifts and educates. Every story shared on the "Seeing Ability" podcast—accessible through Jim's Facebook page—adds to a rich tapestry of understanding, solidarity, and hope for families everywhere. Join us in an episode that is more than a conversation; it's a community coming together to share, learn, and grow.
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As the dust settles on a marriage, the landscape of family life is irrevocably altered, especially for the children caught in the emotional aftermath. Been there Got Out takes an empathetic dive into this new territory with the help of Dr. Barb Hughson and Dr. Wayne Benenson, who bring their wealth of expertise to our conversation. We tackle the thorny issues that emerge as children adapt to shifting family dynamics, from juggling different household rules to grappling with their peers' perceptions of their restructured lives. With a focus on high-conflict divorces, our discussion seeks to offer a beacon of understanding and guidance for parents navigating this precarious path.
Self-care isn't just a buzzword; it's a lifeline for parents steering through the choppy waters of life post-divorce. We lace up our running shoes and roll out our yoga mats as we discuss the need for restorative practices that rejuvenate the spirit and the profound effect this personal equilibrium has on children. Drawing inspiration from Catherine Price's "The Power of Fun," we champion the rejuvenating power of laughter and joy, suggesting that creating new family traditions isn't just beneficial, it's essential. These moments of lightness amidst the trials of transition are a salve to both the parent and the child's soul, reminding us all that even in the darkest times, there's a spark of fun waiting to be kindled.
As our conversation unfurls, we spotlight the unique challenges and opportunities when it comes to forging connections with teenagers. Exploring shared interests can bridge the communication gap, and through the Each One Teach One program, families can discover a balanced dynamic of learning and growing together. Creative arts therapies emerge as a powerful tool for helping children articulate complex emotions, fostering a resilience that will carry them through life's ups and downs. Our closing thoughts linger on the art of storytelling and its capacity to shift moods and perspectives, wrapping up an episode filled with tangible strategies and heartfelt advice for families facing the transformative tides of divorce.
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When life threw curveballs at Dr. Yael Dubin, she not only caught them but tossed them back with transformative power. Her journey from psychiatrist to relationship coach is nothing short of extraordinary, and in our latest episode, she opens her heart to reveal the resilience that saw her through sexual assault, divorce, and the tough decision to leave her medical career behind. Yael's entry into the "Been There Got Out Club" and her 16-year hesitation to remarry underscores the courage it takes to rediscover trust and love, a narrative that is both inspiring and deeply educational.
Navigating emotional storms requires a toolkit, and Yael introduces us to one of her favorites: the "window of tolerance." This concept is critical as it helps us understand our body's stress and trauma responses, and how we can better manage life's high-pressure situations, such as mediation during a divorce. Yael's personal anecdotes provide insight into the tactics of abusers and the relaxation techniques that counteract them. From drawing inspiration from the animal kingdom to the healing power of laughter and community, this episode is a treasure trove of strategies for staying afloat when the waves of life crash around us.
Parenthood doesn't pause for court battles or legal disputes, and Yael emphasizes the importance of maintaining emotional presence for our children. By sharing strategies to help ourselves and our little ones find and stay within our individual windows of tolerance, she offers a lifeline for parenting under pressure. This episode is an affirmation of the strength found in solidarity and empathy, providing a message that you're not alone in your struggles. Whether you're facing your own Olympic level challenges or supporting someone who is, this heartfelt conversation with Dr. Yael Dubin promises to uplift, educate, and empower.
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Join the conversation with Christelyn Karazin, a celebrated author whose poignant reflections on her book "Swirling" spark an essential dialogue about the pressures black women face in the realm of relationships and society's expectations. Diving into the heart of the issue, we dissect the backlash she received, which brings to light the concept of communal narcissism and how it perpetuates the control and subjugation of black women. The conversation ventures beyond personal anecdotes, delving into the historical and societal factors that have cultivated these dynamics, and the courage it takes for individuals to stand against collective pressures.
The narrative deepens as we confront the stark challenges that come with marriage, single parenthood, and the ugly reality of reproductive coercion. We open up about our own journeys, punctuating the conversation with the real-life implications of the "strong black woman" stereotype and the subsequent neglect of black women's health needs. This chapter peels back layers of expectation and control, revealing how these forces shape the treatment of sons and daughters differently within the black community and how systemic violence against black women and children often goes underreported and unaddressed.
As we wrap up this profound exchange, we cast a critical eye on the Black Manosphere and its role in shaping harmful narratives around black women through influential figures who gain followers by perpetuating negativity and control. The episode doesn't shy away from discussing the complexities of interracial relationships, the educational and income disparities within the black community, and the skewed societal norms that black women navigate. Sincere thanks to Christelyn for her invaluable insights and to our listeners for engaging in this vital conversation, reminding us of the importance of community engagement and the collective effort required to bring these critical issues into the spotlight.
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Have you ever wondered who stands in the legal trenches for children caught in the complicated web of family court? Our esteemed guest, Stephanie, a former domestic violence attorney, now champions the voices of these young souls as an Attorney for the Child in New York's family courts. With a heart as fierce as her legal prowess, she shares her transformative journey from aiding domestic violence survivors to advocating for children's rights. Her insights draw back the curtain on the crucial roles and responsibilities of Attorneys for the Child, Guardians ad Litem, and Minors Counsel. We navigate the sensitive landscape of attorney-client confidentiality and the strategic finesse required to represent children's true wishes against a backdrop of opposing parental desires.
Navigating the choppy waters of family court becomes an art form, as Stephanie illuminates the challenges faced when advocating for the best interests of children. Our conversation brings to light the intricate dance of rapport-building with young clients and the delicate handling needed when parents interfere with their children's relationships with their court-appointed attorneys. Stephanie recounts tales of courtroom advocacy, where the nuanced combination of oral and written persuasion can sway a judge's decision, reflecting on the pivotal impact these recommendations have on a child's emotional well-being.
As we pull back the bow on the profound role of Attorneys for the Child in family court, Stephanie's experiences reveal how critical their input can be in shaping the outcomes of legal battles. Parents, take note: the appointment of an AFC might be the key to ensuring your child's perspective isn't lost in the legal shuffle. Stephanie provides invaluable advice on navigating the nuances of sibling representation, handling sensitive information with care, and the importance of giving children a safe space to express their concerns, even when they're reluctant. It's a heart-to-heart with a legal defender of childhood innocence that will leave you appreciating the unsung heroes of the family court system.
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Unlock the tools for a confident and knowledgeable approach to divorce with our enlightening chat featuring Karen and Catherine from My Divorce Solution. We delve into the empowering strategies that enable you to navigate the complexities of divorce, shining a light on the crucial interplay between legal preparedness and financial acumen. Our guests reveal how to assert your financial rights and strip away the myths that high-conflict ex-partners might use to their advantage, offering a fresh perspective on staying emotionally grounded while standing your ground legally.
This episode is a beacon for anyone facing the tumultuous waters of family law disputes, guiding you to connect with an attorney that not only fits your legal needs but also supports you emotionally through the journey. We share stories of transformation as clients learn to make rational decisions—free from coercive control—bolstered by a newfound financial literacy. Discover how understanding your financial landscape is an essential step not just for a fair divorce settlement, but for ensuring long-term financial health and stability. Join us for an episode that promises to be both an eye-opener and a formidable ally in your quest for a balanced post-divorce future.
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Join the conversation as Angela Torregoza, a New York City-based immigration attorney with a personal immigration story, shares her expertise on the lifeline that is the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) and the intricacies of family petitions. Angela's own journey fuels her passion for guiding clients through the complexities of immigration law, and in this episode, she offers a beacon of hope for those feeling entrapped in abusive relationships. Discover how VAWA can be the key to a new beginning, enabling abused foreign nationals to seek permanent residency and escape the shadows of manipulation and control.
The challenges facing immigrant individuals in abusive situations are daunting, but there are steps one can take and resources available that can make all the difference. Angela walks us through the process of safeguarding important documents and crafting a safety plan, while highlighting the sanctuary that embassies can provide. We also delve into the evidence required for successful immigration applications, from psychological evaluations to personal affidavits, and discuss how to navigate the system without re-traumatization. It's an eye-opening look at the victim-centered approach of the immigration system and the community support that can pave the way to independence.
Empowerment and recovery are core themes as Angela underscores the importance of community resources like Safe Horizon and Legal Aid Society for those without financial means. Learn about the emotional support offered by support groups and therapy, and how documenting experiences of abuse can be approached with sensitivity and care. We wrap up with a call to action for raising awareness of VAWA's provisions, not only to aid victims but also to foster understanding and support within the community. This episode is not just an informative session, but a heartfelt guide through the path to recovery and autonomy for those most vulnerable.
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Unlock secrets to reclaiming your life after narcissistic abuse with our friend, colleague, and regular guest Chelsey Brooke Cole, a psychotherapist who specializes in this challenging yet critical area of mental health. Our enlightening conversation is a dedication to her latest book release, a treasure trove of wisdom for those navigating the rough seas of relational trauma. Together, we dissect the psychological aftermath of toxic partnerships, emphasizing how vital it is to have a supportive network, including therapists and high-conflict divorce coaches. We share our personal journeys and the silver linings that come with newfound healthy relationships, along with strategies to silence the internal echoes of a former abuser's voice.
Every healing journey is unique, and we delve into the myriad of paths one can take when recovering from the grip of a narcissist. The importance of self-compassion and realistic expectations takes center stage, as we address the diversity of healing processes. We talk about how critical it is to tune into and honor one's emotions, thoughts, and needs, and the danger in neglecting personal boundaries to avoid conflict. Our heartfelt dialogue sheds light on the transformation that occurs when you reclaim your autonomy and learn to trust yourself again.
The conversation culminates with a look at managing trauma triggers, especially in high-stress situations like court hearings. We acknowledge the natural physiological and emotional responses as validations of past hurt, not signs of weakness. Finally, we celebrate the role of joy and fun in the healing process, sharing insights from Catherine Price's "The Power of Fun" and Chelsey's book, "If Only I'd Known." Join us for this empowering session and be equipped with practical strategies to rediscover happiness and liberation after the storm of narcissistic abuse.
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Unlock the secrets to recognizing and severing ties with a toxic partner as we sit down with family law specialist Demetria Graves. Our conversation ventures into the often-misunderstood markings of toxic relationships, the vital role of professional support, and the intricacies of emotional abuse, dismantling the stereotypes that shroud gender dynamics in toxicity. We delve into the impact of such relationships on family structures, providing a profound understanding of the deeper effects, especially when children are caught in the crossfire.
Wading through the complexities of a toxic divorce, we lean on Demetria's expertise to reveal the art of legal strategy and emotional resilience. Gone are the days of petty courtroom battles; here, we learn the power of preparation and poise, charting a course through the rough seas of aggressive legal tactics and false allegations. The mastery of disengagement is pivotal, as is the ability to discern between what's crucial and what's a distraction, ensuring you emerge from the legal fray with your dignity intact.
As we approach the final stretch of our insightful discussion, we share essential steps for preparing for the most challenging divorces. From the calm demeanor needed in the face of provocation to navigating the nuances of legal etiquette, this guidance is a beacon for those embarking on a custody battle or difficult separation. With a focus on the importance of a robust support network and the practicalities of planning, this episode is a compass for navigating through the storm of divorce, culminating in a strategy for safeguarding oneself in situations of domestic unrest.
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Discover the depth of emotion and complexity wrapped up in the simple act of gift-giving as we reunite with our special guest, Jon from Male Victims of Female Narcissists. Through heartfelt and eye-opening conversations, we uncover the multifaceted experiences of individuals navigating the aftermath of narcissistic abuse. This episode promises an exploration of the nuances of human connections, illuminated by the universal language of gifts, with accounts that cross gender lines and speak to the core of our shared humanity.
Gifts often convey more than meets the eye, and our candid discussion peels back these layers, revealing the emotional fallout when the act of giving goes awry. We share personal stories of anticipation turned to disappointment, the confusion of misunderstood intentions, and the sting of indifference toward carefully chosen presents. These narratives offer a raw look into the power dynamics at play in relationships marred by narcissism, and the subtle signs that gifts—or the lack thereof—can signal about the health and understanding between partners.
Beyond the individual stories, we tackle the broader implications of gift-giving, especially in the context of divorce and co-parenting. The episode sheds light on how what should be a simple token of affection or appreciation can become a battleground for control and manipulation. We ponder the symbolism of gifts, the pain of their rejection, and the psychological warfare that can ensue when narcissists wield them as tools. Join us for this profound exchange that will leave you contemplating the weight of your own gift-giving experiences and the intricate threads they weave into the tapestry of your relationships.
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Unlock the secrets to navigating the stormy seas of divorce and co-parenting with expert insights from renowned New York divorce attorney Dennis Vetrano in this episode. Together, we shed light on the complex interplay between divorcing a toxic partner and the welfare of the entire family. Examine the ripple effects of strained marital dynamics on children, and why breaking free from a harmful relationship can be a courageous step towards fostering a healthier, more stable environment for all involved. Dennis shares vital signs that it's time to leave, debunking the myth that staying together for the kids is always the best choice.
Tread carefully through the minefield of co-parenting with a toxic ex-partner, where every message might one day echo in a courtroom. Gain strategies for crafting communication that stands up to legal scrutiny and learn how to maintain a high-road approach that could serve as essential evidence down the line. This episode is packed with practical advice for managing stress and conflict, highlighting the importance of protecting your peace and the well-being of your children amidst ongoing disputes.
Venture into the transformative journey of reshaping the parent-child bond post-separation. Discover why nurturing this connection is a responsibility, not a right, and how honest, age-appropriate communication can strengthen this bond without placing undue burdens on young shoulders. Learn to navigate the family court system with poise, focusing on the critical issues that affect custody, and arm yourself with strategies to improve your family situation without always relying on the court system. Join us for a deeply insightful conversation that promises to empower listeners facing one of life's most challenging transitions.
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Unlock the secrets to healing from trauma with Leslie Miller, a seasoned psychotherapist and mindful movement instructor, as she joins us to illuminate the complexities of trauma and its physical manifestations. Dive into an understanding of how experiences that overwhelm us, like high-conflict relationships or court cases, can get lodged within our bodies, presenting as conditions such as fibromyalgia and complex PTSD. Leslie's insights challenge the conventional talk therapy approach, shedding light on the importance of acknowledging the holistic nature of trauma, both mentally and physically.
As we navigate the waters of stress and survival mode, heightened by the pandemic and legal entanglements, Leslie equips us with practical tools for staying anchored in the present. Learn how grounding techniques can combat the incessant fight or flight response and manage the anxiety that comes with high-conflict scenarios. This episode is a treasure trove of strategies to help you find calm amidst the storm, utilizing your environment and physical sensations to bring you back to solid ground.
In the final stretch of our conversation, we uncover the transformative effects of EMDR and tapping methods, along with the vital role of boundaries and self-care in maintaining personal well-being. We delve into the power of movement and the unique benefits of trauma-informed yoga for re-establishing the lost connection with our bodies. Whether you're in the Boston area or tuning in from afar, this episode offers hope and practical guidance for anyone looking to navigate the path of healing from trauma and reclaim a sense of peace and joy in their lives.
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Growing up with an alcoholic mother shaped Bernadene into the powerhouse motivational coach she is today, and in this episode, she courageously peels back the layers of her past to illuminate the struggles and triumphs on her road to self-discovery. Our heartfelt exchange navigates through the choppy waters of emotional abuse, the burdensome role of caretaker thrust upon children in dysfunctional homes, and the lasting impact on one's sense of self-worth and capacity for healthy relationships. Bernadine's story is a poignant reminder that while our beginnings may be etched in chaos, the narrative we write for ourselves can be one of strength and resilience.
Memory can be a fickle friend, particularly when healing from emotional trauma, and we delve into the complexities of reconciling the past with those who may not remember their hurtful actions. Bernadine introduces us to 'anchoring memories,' the concept of grounding oneself in moments of palpable love to navigate the healing process. Our discussion extends to the myriad ways siblings cope and adapt within these dynamics, shedding light on the intricate web of family roles and the silent battles fought in the journey towards acceptance and personal growth.
But Bernadine's narrative doesn't end with her challenges—she represents a beacon for anyone walking a similar path, and she's extended a hand to our listeners looking to find their way. Her transformation into an inspiring figure exemplifies the profound impact of support systems and mentors in overcoming adversity. This episode is a testament to the incredible leaps one can make from a tumultuous beginning to a future filled with promise and purpose.
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There's something truly magnetic about the moment when shared passions and memories intertwine — like the one we had with our friend and colleague David Morneau, a "recovering litigator" with a heart as big as his legal pad. Together, we took a stroll down memory lane, reliving our collaborative ventures and the joy that filled the room during our book launch, where David's foreword sparked conversations and admiration. Our latest exchange, however, wasn't just a trip through nostalgia; it was a masterclass in self-advocacy. With a dash of humor and an 11-point list colored by a charming U.S.-Canada conversion mix-up, David handed over the keys to ensuring you're treated as the human being you are in the eyes of your attorney.
Navigating the legal labyrinth doesn't come with a one-size-fits-all map, but this episode sheds light on the essentials, guiding you through the selection of an attorney aligned with your values and objectives. We discuss the overburdened justice system's preoccupation with victories over values, and make a case for methods like mediation that inject compassion back into legal proceedings. We pull back the curtain on the empowering shift from victimhood to self-actualization within legal disputes, advocating for a personalized approach in finding the legal counsel that resonates with your unique narrative.
The final bend in our conversation brings us to the doorstep of family law and the emotional landscape that often casts a long shadow over legalities. With a vision of a more empathetic court system, we unpack the need for systemic change and the role of various professionals in crafting a holistic solution to family law cases. Tune in to absorb the wisdom, wit, and warmth that only a conversation among friends can provide!
Unlock the mysteries of growing up within narcissistic family systems as Marnie Grunman, a brave survivor, sits with us to recount her powerful journey of fleeing home at 13 and battling the cold embrace of the streets. Her insights, drawn from both her personal experiences and her poignant book, illuminate the often misunderstood reasons behind a child's decision to run away. In our heart-to-heart, we traverse the rocky paths of healing from childhood trauma, dissect the dynamics of establishing boundaries with narcissistic relatives, and the tough choices some must face in deciding between low or no contact with family members.
Feel the weight of a child's heartache as we open up about the profound void left by parental abandonment, especially during divorce, as Marnie shares her expertise and reflections on growing up without a father. Our conversation honors the complexities of grieving someone who is still alive yet emotionally distant and underscores the vital role of acknowledging a child's feelings. Listen closely as we reveal how stable, supportive relationships, like the one Lisa formed with her father, can mend deep emotional wounds and guide one toward a healthier future.
As we wrap up our conversation, we touch on the silent venom of emotional abuse and its far-reaching consequences. We stress the importance of validating one's pain, regardless of its perceived severity, and discuss the creation of a support group dedicated to daughters-in-law navigating the challenge of narcissistic in-laws. Our commitment to aiding children in distress shines through as we tease an upcoming book designed to offer practical support for young ones in trying times. Join us for this episode as we share in our mission to help and heal, fostering empowerment for those walking a similar path to recovery.
Embark on a transformative journey through the labyrinth of family law as we host California matrimonial divorce family lawyer Padideh Jafari. Together, we confront the grueling realities of 50/50 child custody arrangements amidst high-conflict divorces and arm you with the forensic strategies necessary to shield your children and uphold their best interests. Our conversation with Padideh peels away the veneer of difficult ex-partners, revealing the critical role of evidence and expert testimony in cases where supervised visitation and child safety are paramount.
Navigating the maelstrom of emotional abuse in custody battles requires more than just legal knowledge—it demands a nuanced understanding of the psychological warfare often waged by narcissistic ex-partners. In this episode, we elucidate the covert tactics used to manipulate both the system and the children caught in the crossfire. We address the imperative need for comprehensive documentation, the strategic use of technology for communication tracking, and the profound impact that therapy can have on young lives disrupted by parental discord.
As we wrap up this intense exploration, we dissect the intricacies of parental alienation, relocation disputes, and the formulation of long-distance parenting plans. You'll gain insight into the legal mechanisms at play, including the roles of minor's counsel and child custody evaluators, and learn how the courts navigate the thorny issues of move-aways and compliance with existing orders. We close by inviting our listeners to an upcoming networking event, promising a unique opportunity to connect and find further support on this crucial topic.
Navigating the tangled web of divorce law requires more than just a sharp legal mind; it demands a heart attuned to the emotional whirlwinds faced by those in the throes of marital dissolution. In our latest episode, we're joined by New York matrimonial attorney Ian Steinberg, who shares his insightful journey from real estate to family law, highlighting the profound ways empathy and communication shape his practice. With a candid discussion about the strategic and emotional facets of divorce settlements, Ian offers a blend of wisdom and reassurance, drawing from his unique experience as a hockey referee to tackle the intricacies of legal disputes.
Divorce isn't just a legal battle; it's an emotional odyssey that necessitates a comprehensive support system. Ian emphasizes the critical importance of assembling a team that includes not only legal but financial and emotional advisors. Whether it's the initial guilt some clients feel or the anger that may bubble up as cases drag on, he provides practical advice on managing these feelings and making informed decisions. And for those daunted by the task of narrating the story of their relationship to a legal audience, Ian breaks down where to start and the elements to focus on for a compelling and clear presentation.
As we peer into the future of divorce law, we recognize the evolving nature of the courtroom, now extending into the virtual space, and the need for maintaining decorum within this novel setting. Steinberg shares his '24-hour rule,' a vital strategy for keeping emotions in check when crafting communications that could sway the outcome of a case. Together, we explore how this rule, alongside the principle of imagining a judge as the ultimate reader of all correspondence, can steer both lawyers and clients towards more mindful interactions within the often heated arena of family law. Join us for an episode that masterfully balances the art of legal strategy with the human touch essential in guiding clients through one of life's most challenging passages.
Facing the stormy seas of legal disputes can be a daunting voyage, especially when domestic abuse and financial strains are at the helm. Brittany Blaney of Elm Law and Divorce Buddy joins us to navigate through these turbulent waters, offering her seasoned perspectives on legal abuse in the family law realm. Our conversation charts a course through the complexities of combatting such abuse within the judicial system, where Brittany's expertise shines a light on the importance of community, storytelling, and strategic financial planning to ease the burden of lengthy legal battles.
As we traverse the delicate territory of trauma-informed legal practice, we explore the critical balance lawyers must maintain when advising clients who carry the weight of complex PTSD. We discuss the therapeutic power of journaling for those entangled in the legal process, and how attorneys can establish boundaries while compassionately guiding clients through the recounting of their experiences. These narratives not only serve the legal strategy but also offer clients a measure of solace and clarity – a dual benefit not to be overlooked in the quest for justice.
In the final leg of our journey, we cast a light on the innovative Divorce Buddy service, designed to support individuals representing themselves amidst the legal fray. Brittany steers us through the common hazards self-represented litigants face, the significance of procedural savvy, and why responding to vexatious litigation with measured tactics can prevent the court system from becoming a weapon against the vulnerable. Concluding our insightful exchange, Brittany shares how to tap into the wealth of guidance she offers both in and out of the courtroom, ensuring our listeners have a compass to find their way through any legal storm.
Navigating the labyrinth of family court is daunting enough, but when you're contending with a disability, the stakes and stress can multiply. That's where Donna Drumm steps in – a New York attorney and certified advocate for Americans with Disabilities who joins us to shed light on the less-discussed accommodations in family court. Donna's expertise offers a lifeline to those feeling overwhelmed, providing key insights into the wide-ranging definition of disabilities and the intricacies of requesting necessary court accommodations without compromising one's privacy or case.
This episode goes beyond the courtroom, delving into the personal battles many face with invisible disabilities such as PTSD and depression. We unpack the subtleties of how these conditions can affect decision-making and communication, crucial components in legal battles, and the importance of acknowledging changes in behavior. Donna emphasizes the value of clear communication with your attorney and demystifies the often misunderstood relationship between intellectual ability and executive functioning. With Donna's compassionate guidance, listeners are equipped not just with knowledge, but with a powerful sense of understanding and advocacy in navigating the legal system with a disability.
Unlock the secrets to successfully selling your home during the emotional maelstrom of a divorce with help from Jen Purzycki of Purzycki. As a certified real estate divorce specialist, Jen brings a compassionate yet strategic approach to navigating the choppy waters of property sales amidst separation. Together, we explore the nooks and crannies of splitting assets and addressing the unique challenges of high-conflict resolution, offering practical advice for those facing the daunting task of managing such delicate transitions. Our conversation bridges the gap between personal recovery from coercive control and professional guidance, providing solace and solutions to listeners in similar straits.
The episode moves beyond simple logistics, stressing the importance of preparing your home for the market while deeply entangled in the complexities of a divorce. From untangling equity and sorting through capital gains tax exemptions to the crucial role that divorce coaches and forensic CPAs play, we cover it all. The financial implications are vast, and the emotional toll on the parties, especially children, cannot be understated. This episode isn't just a how-to on real estate; it's a beacon of hope and a guide for finding solid footing when life seems to be shifting beneath your feet. Join us on this journey as we lay out a roadmap for those looking to sell their shared home and turn over a new leaf.
Navigating the turbulent waters of co-parenting after a high-conflict divorce can be an emotional rollercoaster for everyone involved. We're fortunate to have Asia Scarlett-Jones, a seasoned family law attorney from New York City, join us to explore the complexities and emotional impact of custody disputes. Her insights are poignant, highlighting the importance of prioritizing children's welfare above all and addressing the sensitive implications of domestic violence allegations on custody arrangements. As we wade through the day-to-day struggles of the residential parent, Asia's expertise shines a light on the often-invisible challenges, from homework supervision to medical appointments, and the delicate balance these parents must strike.
Our in-depth discussion also delves into the nuances of reintegrating absent parents into their children's lives, a process often fraught with tension. Asia guides us through the court's approach to this delicate situation, advocating for gradual steps tailored to the child's emotional needs. The "fun parent" dynamic surfaces, and we dissect the implications for both the non-residential parent's sporadic involvement and the residential parent's consistent, routine care. Moreover, Asia underscores the pitfalls of poor communication, particularly in our digital era, and the necessity of presenting a positive and respectful online presence during legal family disputes.
By the end of our conversation, it's clear that the path to harmonious co-parenting is one that requires self-awareness, personal growth, and a thorough understanding of legal intricacies. Asia emphasizes the need to separate one's role as a former partner from their ongoing role as a parent and addresses common missteps that can hinder effective co-parenting. She also introduces the transformative potential of subscription-based legal services, a boon for families seeking accessible, ongoing legal support. This episode promises to be an enlightening resource for anyone facing the intricate dance of co-parenting and custody challenges.
Join us for a captivating discussion with the wonderful Chelsey Brooke Cole, a narcissistic abuse recovery therapist and author, as we eagerly await the launch of her insightful book, "If I'd Only Known." In our conversation, we navigate the complexities of narcissism and the journey towards healing from relational trauma. Chelsey expertly dissects her book's three-part structure: unraveling the intricacies of narcissism, guiding us through the healing of trauma and the trauma bond, and offering strategies for post-traumatic growth. Moreover, we shed light on the insidious nature of religious abuse, a topic that Chelsey emphasizes is on the rise and causing hidden distress for many.
Listen in as we explore the unsettling prevalence of narcissism within religious communities, sparking a thought-provoking examination of whether these spiritual environments are more susceptible to narcissistic personalities. Our dialogue touches on how narcissists may misuse religious platforms to gain power and evade accountability, exploiting values like forgiveness. By identifying these behaviors, we aim to foster safer religious spaces, emphasizing that awareness is key to maintaining one's faith while being vigilant of manipulation.
The conversation then delves into the manipulation tactics narcissists use in church communities, exploiting the inherent trust of the congregation. We discuss the concept of spiritual abuse, stressing the importance of trusting one's instincts against the backdrop of outward piety. The challenge of exposing wrongdoing within these tight-knit communities is not lost on us, and we highlight the additional obstacles survivors face when their experiences are met with disbelief. This enlightening episode not only informs but also serves as a beacon of support for those seeking to navigate and heal from the entanglements of narcissistic abuse within religious settings.
Unlock the secrets of navigating financial turmoil during divorce with Rhonda Noordyk, the visionary behind the Women's Financial Wellness Center. Our conversation is an expedition through the landscape of trauma-informed financial guidance, where emotional intelligence is as crucial as the numbers themselves. Rhonda's transformation from academic to champion of women's financial literacy lays the groundwork for our discussion on why understanding the emotional underpinnings of finance is vital for making sound decisions amidst life's upheavals.
Feel the power of empathy and strategy interwoven in professional services, as we draw parallels with a healthcare company's women-focused approach (but this episode is just as relevant for men, too!) Personalized financial strategies tailored to each woman's life stage and priorities are necessary for navigating any transition, and we underscore the importance of professionals who genuinely embody trauma-informed principles. Our friend and Chicago family law attorney Raiford Palmer's insights on client relationships in legal contexts further illuminate our talk, driving home the necessity of asking probing questions to ensure you're getting the support that goes beyond mere words.
Step into the stories of resilience as we spotlight women reclaiming their financial autonomy post-divorce. Emphasizing the importance of self-assurance and informed decision-making, we herald the courage of those who’ve turned the tide—buying businesses, mastering negotiations, and shaping case law. Resources like Rhonda's podcast, "Divorce Conversations for Women," and an actionable quiz are just a click away for those seeking guidance. Join us for a discussion that's not just about survival but about thriving and leaving a legacy of empowerment.
Unlock the secrets to transforming parenthood's toughest moments with Dr. Wayne Benenson, our guiding light through the tumult of raising children with behavioral challenges. This episode is a treasure trove for any parent facing the daunting task of addressing violent behavior in their little ones. Dr. Wayne brings clarity to the storm, helping us understand the nuances between oppositional defiance and conditions like ADHD that can contribute to aggression. His advice on employing mindfulness and establishing clear consequences offers a fresh perspective for connecting with children at their most furious. It's an indispensable conversation for anyone longing to reach their child's heart, even when their actions push us away.
Navigating the ebbs and flows of change while upholding stability in family life can feel like a herculean task, but it doesn’t have to be. We open up about the power of embracing our vulnerabilities and tap into the wisdom of Eastern philosophies to share the grounding force of conscious breathing. These insights lay the groundwork for creating an oasis of calm for both you and your child. We also discuss the art of infusing therapy with joy to engage the most reluctant of kids, shaping a path toward emotional regulation and mindfulness through the 'three-legged stool' approach: attention, calmness, and kindness.
In the final stretch of our enriching dialogue, we tackle the intricacies of teaching and parenting in today's complex world. From the tale of an eighth-grader's rekindled passion for math to managing the minefield of co-parenting discord, we cover it all. Dr. Wayne also gives us a sneak peek into his latest literary offering, "Claim Your Life," a manifesto on harnessing adversity for personal growth. And for families seeking accessible mindfulness training, we spotlight Great Masters' programs that are revolutionizing how we support our children's—and our own—emotional well-being. This episode isn't just a podcast; it's a lifeline for parents and educators committed to nurturing resilience and joy in the next generation.
Unlock the secrets to navigating high-conflict divorces with the expertise of our friend Joy Rosenthal, a divorce mediator and law professor with a deep understanding of child representation. In this episode, Joy illuminates the often overlooked emotional needs of children during familial discord, offering profound insights into prioritizing their well-being. We embark on a journey through the shortcomings of the legal system and the alternatives mediation and collaborative law present (even in high-conflict situations!), providing personalized resolutions that safeguard the interests of the family.
The conversation takes a turn towards the thorny issue of parental conflict and its impact on children post-divorce as we tackle the delicate balance of maintaining children's loyalty to both parents, even when facing abuse or neglect, and the critical missteps divorced parents can make. We stress the significance of age-appropriate communication and discuss the courts' role in evaluating custody, placing a premium on a child's safe and supportive environment. This episode also addresses the sensitive topic of children witnessing violence, underscoring the necessity of validating their feelings while ensuring their emotional security.
Concluding our heartfelt and instructive dialogue, we provide a roadmap for understanding the complexities of the divorce process and managing expectations. We share strategies for dealing with disparaging comments from ex-spouses and differentiate between emotional and legal grounds in custody disputes. Joy's introduction of an online course demystifies divorce law, equipping individuals with the knowledge to traverse the legal terrain. We wrap up by extending an invitation to our listeners to join the ongoing conversation via Instagram (@JoyMediator), where we continue to share guidance and support for those navigating the challenges of divorce.
Unlock the secrets of safeguarding your digital life as we welcome back Vance Long, a renowned privacy and cybersecurity expert, to illuminate the dark corners of digital surveillance. Our journey through the unsettling themes of Dave Eggers' novel "The Every" reveals how the surveillance industry has evolved into a lucrative business. Vance adeptly navigates the complexities of protecting both our physical and digital selves, sharing invaluable insights from the frontline battle against cyberstalking and the proactive measures needed in the face of family separations.
Step into the digital age with eyes wide open as we confront the underestimated power of your phone number and the chilling reality of SIM card cloning. Personalized tech education takes center stage, with Vance advocating for bespoke security strategies that align with your unique digital footprint. Whether you're an artist sharing your soul online or a legal eagle shielding sensitive data, this episode equips you with the arsenal needed to tailor your defense in an ever-connected world.
Prepare for a future where artificial intelligence not only mimics but threatens to replace human interactions. In the heart-pounding finale of our discussion, we scrutinize the profound implications of AI in cybercrime, from voice cloning to evidence authentication challenges. As we highlight the personal responsibility in fortifying our cyber defenses, this episode serves as a crucial reminder of the power of human connection in an era of sophisticated digital impersonation. Join us for an eye-opening exploration that will change the way you perceive and protect your private universe.
Unlock the secrets of nurturing your child's resilience, even during the most turbulent of life's transitions. With Dr. Alina Boie, a veteran child psychologist, by our side, we traverse the complex emotional landscape that children must navigate when faced with changes such as parental separation or divorce. Dr. Boie brings to light the incredible adaptability of young minds and the significant influence parents have as role models, offering us wisdom on how to express our emotions constructively and uphold a nurturing environment for our children.
Through a riveting conversation with Dr. Boie, we gain a deeper understanding of our children's brains under stress and the importance of emotional education. Like arming them with a bicycle helmet before they hit the road, we discuss how to prepare our kids with coping strategies for managing stress and conflict. This episode not only equips parents to handle family upheavals with more grace but also lays the groundwork for their children to face any of life's adversities with confidence and strength.
In our candid discussion, we also dissect the intricacies of co-parenting and its impact on the young ones caught in the crossfire. Dr. Boie imparts strategies on shielding children from manipulative behaviors and the importance of rooting them in truth. As we wrap up, we contemplate a powerful question about our children's readiness to stand on their own, and Dr. Boie shares her insights on instilling responsibility and nurturing confidence. Join us for this heartfelt dialogue, and leave with actionable guidance to empower the next generation to thrive, no matter the challenge.
When Caroline Strawson walked away from her career in podiatry, she stepped into a world where healing takes on an entirely different meaning. Her journey through the shadowy valleys of narcissistic abuse has not only reshaped her life but also forged her into a beacon of hope for others battling similar demons. Our latest conversation with Caroline, a trauma therapist and coach, dissects the harrowing impact of trauma on individuals embroiled in high-conflict divorces, especially when entangled with a narcissistic partner. She enlightens us with her 'traffic lights of tolerance,' a metaphor for the nervous system's distress signals, and how ignoring these can lead to chronic illnesses. Caroline's insights into the body's defense mechanisms offer a lifeline of understanding for anyone navigating the stormy waters of such life challenges.
As we wade through the complexities of emotional trauma and chronic illnesses, Caroline peels back the layers of how unprocessed pain can manifest in physical conditions like rheumatoid arthritis. She speaks to the heart of those who've felt the sting of a flawed legal system during divorce, where the desire to advocate for change can sometimes eclipse the necessity of self-healing. We examine the intricate balance between the drive to transform the system and the crucial act of tending to one's own well-being. Her wisdom on self-regulation serves as a poignant reminder for listeners: to wear the armor of personal healing before stepping onto the battlefield of advocacy.
The crescendo of our deep dive with Caroline equips you with empowering strategies to fortify yourself for court appearances, from the emotional armor of personal talismans to the grounding presence of imagined protective figures. She imparts the possibilities of post-traumatic growth and the blueprint for a purpose-driven life beyond the aftermath of trauma. Wrapping up, Caroline extends an olive branch to those interested in becoming trauma-informed coaches—a reflection of her unwavering commitment to lighting the path for others toward healing and thriving, long after the gavel falls and the courtroom doors close.
It's one thing to navigate the choppy waters of divorce, but quite another to emerge with familial bonds intact. In a heart-to-heart with seasoned mediator and CUNY Law professor Joy Rosenthal, we peel back the layers of family law mediation, uncovering the delicate art of maintaining connections in the wake of separation. Our conversation is a deep dive into the dynamics of difficult personalities and the pivotal role mediators play in ensuring safety and balance, particularly in the ominous shadow of domestic violence.
As Joy eloquently shares her background in legal work with children and teens, we're reminded of the profound impact parental relationships have on the younger generation post-divorce. Our dialogue turns to the empowerment that direct negotiation can bring to individuals in the mediation process. Our own mediation experiences in New York serve as a backdrop to this discussion, as we explore the nuances of safety planning and techniques that equip parties to focus on the future, offering a fresh perspective on steering the conversation toward resolutions that protect everyone involved.
We close the episode with an intimate recount of an eight-year legal standoff over an estate, where the emotional toll and the importance of self-advocacy come to the fore. The story not only highlights the stark contrasts between commercial and family mediation but also serves as a sobering reminder of the necessity to craft a process that's fair and considerate of all parties. Throughout, this episode isn't just a guidebook for mediators or those entangled in family disputes; it's a testament to the resilience of family ties and the power of empathy in the face of conflict.
Growing up under the shadow of a narcissistic parent can shape your world in unimaginable ways, and that's a reality Adrienne knows all too well. Her story, which she graciously shares with us, isn't just about the struggles and the scars — it's also about the resilience and personal triumph that can emerge from such adversity. She digs deep into her past to unravel the complexities of a strained mother-daughter relationship while contrasting it with the solace she found in her father's nurturing presence. Adrienne's vulnerability in recounting these experiences, especially during pivotal moments like her miscarriage, reveals the profound impact of familial love and the bittersweet journey toward acceptance and healing.
Adrienne's candid conversation doesn't shy away from the grittier moments, like the raw emotions that surfaced during significant life events, including her wedding. The expectations and pressures from a parent with narcissistic tendencies can distort even the happiest occasions, as she attests through her reflections on her wedding day and its aftermath. Her insights extend into the realm of caregiving and the complicated gratitude she feels towards her brother, who now shoulders the responsibility of looking after their mother. Through these revelations, Adrienne illustrates the weight of familial obligations and the strength found in sibling solidarity.
But there's light at the end of the tunnel, and Adrienne illuminates it with her inspiring career transformation and the sage advice she shares for parents navigating similar paths. As someone who once chased a career under the heavy influence of her mother's expectations, her shift towards a life of helping others is a reminder of the power of self-discovery and the importance of aligning one's professional pursuits with personal passion. For those raising children against the backdrop of narcissism, Adrienne emphasizes the need for stability, emotional regulation, and most importantly, self-love, as cornerstones for nurturing healthy family relationships. Her story is not just a lesson in overcoming; it's also a blueprint for thriving.
The sting of betrayal and the weight of false accusations can leave scars that are both unseen and deeply felt. That's the heart of our latest conversation with Tracy Malone, a renowned expert on narcissistic abuse. Tracy doesn't just recount her story; she paints a vivid picture of manipulation and the legal entanglements that can ensnare the most unsuspecting of victims. Her insight into the complexities of domestic incident laws, in her home state of Colorado and elsewhere, opens our eyes to the chilling reality that the innocent can be punished alongside the guilty.
Navigating the aftermath of false arrest and domestic violence allegations is akin to walking through a minefield blindfolded. In this episode, we explore the gritty details of being caught in the legal system's gears, from the financial drain to the social stigma attached to such records. But beyond the struggles, we chart the transformative journey from shame to empowerment. Tracy's personal evolution is more than a narrative; it's a roadmap for anyone fighting to reclaim their identity and dignity amidst the chaos of a past relationship turned sour.
Ending on a high note, we celebrate the incredible resilience of the human spirit and the solidarity found in survivor communities. Tracy's experience isn't unique, but her courage in sharing it offers a lifeline to those still lost in the grip of a narcissist's control. Her stories of connection, unexpected friendships, and triumph over trauma are not just tales to be told—they're lifelines cast into turbulent waters, revealing how shared experiences can be the strongest anchor in reclaiming one's life. So tune in, and let Tracy's wisdom echo through your own journey to healing.
Discover the keys to guiding your children with compassion through the seismic shifts of divorce, as we converse with the distinguished team of Dr. Wayne and Dr. Barb. Our discussion sheds light on how parents can tend to their emotional landscape even as they steward their children through these trying times. Dr. Wayne, harnessing his extensive background in teaching and mindfulness, offers profound insights on softening the harshness of legal battles for the sake of our children's psyche. Dr. Barb, with her wealth of knowledge in therapy and family law, highlights the indispensable practice of self-care for parents to reduce conflict and safeguard their kids from emotional fallout.
Navigating the waves of resistance to therapy can be daunting, yet this episode unveils the transformative impact that therapy can have on a child's emotional resilience. Hear how a therapist's connection with a child can unlock doors to self-expression, equipping them with the strength to weather the storm of their parents’ separation. Through our thoughtful dialogue, parents will find strategies to encourage open communication, allowing their children to wield their voices with confidence. We also tackle the delicate task of setting healthy boundaries, teaching kids to tune into their emotions and physical cues, thereby laying the groundwork for robust mental health.
In crafting a parenting plan that fits like a glove, we emphasize the beauty of flexibility—how evolving agreements can keep pace with the growth of your children, sparing families the strain and expense of courtrooms. We also celebrate the technological marvel that is Zoom, enabling us to transcend state lines and collaborate with heart and efficiency. This episode is an invitation to join us on a journey of mindful parenting, as we foster stability and open-hearted dialogue, supporting each other through the virtual frontier of modern family dynamics.
Unlock the complexities of reproductive rights and IVF in the context of custody cases as we join forces with Jacob Schuman, an expert embryologist whose mastery of the field guides us through the maze of embryo disputes when couples part ways. Our candid conversation sheds light on what happens to those tiny potential lives amidst the turmoil of divorce, underlining the monumental significance of consent forms that foresee the most challenging outcomes. Embarking on this journey with us, you'll gain a comprehensive understanding of the legal and emotional landscapes that are navigated when love and science collide, all while absorbing the wisdom of a seasoned lab manager with a wealth of certifications under his belt.
Venture into the world of IVF with clarity and confidence, as we dissect the myriad of decisions and emotional investments that come with pursuing parenthood through science. From the financial commitment to the ethical dilemmas of frozen embryo futures, we tackle the tough topics, debunk myths, and offer solace in the form of reliable resources and my own consulting services. Whether you're a couple on the brink of IVF, having faced multiple attempts, or simply seeking knowledge on this transformative process, this episode promises to equip you with the insights and guidance necessary for navigating the intricacies of artificial reproduction.
Unlock the complexities of family law as we navigate the sensitive terrain of parenting plans for newborns and infants with California's seasoned family law attorney, Brian Pakpour. Delve into the seismic shifts affecting pregnant women contemplating separation, including the constitutional implications of the Roe v. Wade overturn and the intricate balance between a child's right to dual parental relationships and the practical challenges of relocation. Brian's expertise sheds light on the delicate timing for a move and the vitality of nurturing bonds with both parents, even when miles apart.
Breastfeeding and divorce often collide in the courtroom, and our discussion with Brian peels back the layers of this contentious issue. We confront the delicate dance that legal guardians must perform to honor the World Health Organization's breastfeeding guidelines while ensuring emotional bonds with both parents are maintained. Brian provides insight into the unfortunate reality of breastfeeding being used as leverage in custody battles, and the importance of a child-centric approach that encompasses their overall health and parental relationships.
The final threads of our conversation weave through the evolving tapestry of child custody law and the uncharted territory of embryo custody. We examine custody complexities against a backdrop of fluctuating work schedules, the crucial roles stepparents play, and the convolutions of frozen embryo disputes post-divorce. Stepping into the fray of children born into destructive relationships, Brian imparts wisdom for fostering supportive co-parenting, a topic we pledge to expand upon in future dialogues across platforms like TikTok. Join us for this profound probe into the heart of family law and the unending quest to safeguard the well-being of children amidst life's uncertainties.
Steer your divorce towards a resolution without draining your wallet OR your well-being, as veteran Chicago area family lawyer Raiford Palmer joins us. Raiford brings his extensive knowledge to the forefront, dissecting the common blunders that often drag out the divorce process. We explore the dangers of enlisting overly combative legal representation, the pitfalls of poor communication, and the financial gamble of letting emotions command your legal strategies. From the nuances of court proceedings to the subtle art of negotiation, this episode is a guiding light for anyone embarking on the tumultuous journey of divorce.
Navigating the emotional labyrinth of divorce can be as complex as the legal one, and Raiford's insights on addiction, emotional abuse, and the importance of empathic listening are particularly enlightening. Our discussion unearths how these factors can hinder decision-making and amplify conflicts, leading to extended legal battles. We also emphasize the critical role of clear communication between lawyer and client, which often determines the trajectory of a divorce case. Through Raiford's anecdotes and professional experiences, we offer pragmatic strategies to maintain control and foster constructive relationships during these trying times.
As we wrap up, Raiford equips listeners with practical litigation strategies that prioritize efficiency, from leveraging subpoenas to the art of settlement negotiation. He shares his approach on how to "show them over the cliff," presenting a settlement offer coupled with a candid evaluation of trial outcomes to encourage realistic expectations and, ultimately, resolution. If you're seeking a deeper understanding of the legal intricacies of divorce and how to emerge with your sanity and finances intact, this episode is an invaluable resource for charting a course through the complex waters of family law.
Unlock the truth behind supervised visitation with our guest, Diana Canas, a seasoned expert in the field with a quarter-century of experience. Diana decodes the complexities of this protective measure, emphasizing its role in safeguarding children and parents alike from undue stress and false allegations during custody disputes. By providing a neutral observation ground, supervised visitation serves as a critical tool in fostering a safe and stress-free environment, ensuring the well-being of all parties involved. Throughout our enlightening discussion, Diana shares her nuanced approach, stemming from her extensive background in parenting coaching, to facilitate a comfortable and familiar atmosphere during these delicate interactions.
The conversation flows into the specific challenges and strategies associated with conducting supervised visitations, especially with teenagers who require a tailored approach to meet their developmental and emotional needs. We learn from Diana the art of balancing support and intervention as a supervisor, stepping in with the finesse of a mediator during moments of tension or emotional overflow. The episode unveils the importance of pre-visit preparations, including the establishment of safe words and crafting detailed reports that assist courts in understanding the dynamics of family relationships. With an empathetic lens, we explore the critical support systems that need to be in place for both children and parents navigating these sensitive waters.
Our journey with Diana wraps up with insights into the preparatory aspects of supervised visitation, ensuring children are equipped with an age-appropriate understanding of their circumstances. The conversation also addresses the interplay between supervised visitation and child protective services, shedding light on the common fears and misconceptions regarding the agency's involvement. In careful detail, we dissect the markers of progress and the red flags within the supervised setting that are pivotal to the decision-making process in family courts. By the end of our talk, listeners are left with a comprehensive guide on selecting the correct visitation provider and instilling hope for those embarking on the path of supervised visitation.
Unlock the mysteries of narcissistic abuse and the entanglement of toxic relationships with the insightful California-based therapist Rebecca Ishida. Together, we dissect the art of deception, specifically focusing on the subtle yet destructive act of lying by omission and its prevalence in those living double lives. As we unravel our personal encounters with ex-partners and the deceptive calm before the storm, Rebecca's recent EMDR training and upcoming certification in sex therapy bring an enhanced perspective to our heart-to-heart.
Dive into the heart of cultural influences on our perception of love, where we scrutinize the romanticization of toxicity in films from "When Harry Met Sally" to "Deceived." Our conversation challenges the narratives we've been fed, urging a call to action for educating young minds on differentiating healthy bonds from manipulative traps. Amidst sharing anecdotes about our own romantic journeys, we emphasize the importance of identifying red flags and the deceptive charm that often precedes a toxic storm.
As the dialogue progresses, we confront the fallacy that love can reform a narcissist, a notion many find hard to shake. Lisa opens up about her own trials of dating under the shadow of covert narcissism, while Rebecca's expertise helps us peel back the layers of this complex issue. We conclude with the promise of continued connection beyond state lines through Rebecca's coaching abilities and the anticipation of future discussions on the profound effects cults have on families, promising to bring forth more relatable moments and invaluable insights for our listeners.
Stepping into the world of divorce within the Hispanic community can feel like navigating a labyrinth blindfolded, but our latest guest, TikTok star and relationship guru Rudy (@rude_advice), brings a torch to the darkness. Rudy candidly opens up about his own voyage through the end of his marriage, revealing both the heartaches and the triumphs. Together, we explore the realities of dismantling long-term relationships and the societal pressures that often accompany such decisions. Rudy's personal anecdotes offer a beacon of hope, illuminating a path of resilience and emphasizing the power of humor and creativity to rebuild and thrive post-divorce.
Children are the silent witnesses in the journey of separation, and our discussion takes a tender turn as we address the ripple effects on the youngest hearts. We discuss the importance of shielding them from conflict, and the commitment required from both parents to foster a nurturing co-parenting environment. The conversation goes beyond the logistical to emotional wisdom, underscoring the necessity of setting a positive precedent for our kids. Listeners will find solace and strength in our shared experiences, understanding that a peaceful coexistence is not only possible but essential for our children's futures.
In the aftermath of a relationship's end, the process of personal rebuilding beckons. Rudy offers valuable insights into the importance of mental health support and the unexpected joys of self-discovery. We reflect on the harsh reality of lost friendships and the newfound clarity that emerges in the wake of such trials. Our dialogue ventures into the transformative power of sharing life's lessons and the profound impact it can have on others navigating similar paths. Rudy's dedication to his followers, his creative ventures, and the promise of future collaborations leave us with a sense of community and the endless potential for growth and support in the digital age. Join us on this journey of healing, humor, and heartfelt connection.
Discover the invaluable wisdom mortgage expert Liz Reese brings to the table as she tackles the financial upheaval of divorce and its impact on the mortgage landscape. In a poignant conversation, we navigate the treacherous waters of divorce financials, from the ripple effects on loan structures to the pivotal role of alimony and child support in mortgage qualifications. Our deep dive with Liz illuminates the lesser-known caveats of involving a mortgage professional early in divorce proceedings, a move that can save you from the pitfalls of unfavorable loan conditions in the aftermath of a split.
Home is where the heart heals, especially after the storm of divorce, and our latest episode explores the emotional journey and financial considerations that come with deciding the fate of the marital home. We share a personal story of resilience and new beginnings as my mother embraced homeownership post-divorce, symbolizing a fresh start. Balancing sentiment with pragmatism, we examine the tough choices between staying in a beloved family home and the financial freedom that may come with downsizing. The episode also sheds light on why consulting with a CPA for asset division can make all the difference in ensuring a clean financial break post-divorce.
In our heartfelt conclusion, Liz Reese, ever the compassionate guide, reaffirms her dedication to empowering those facing the complexities of property ownership after divorce. With her extensive knowledge and licensing in both California and Utah, Liz extends her support far beyond our conversation, offering a beacon of hope to those navigating this challenging transition. The episode wraps up with a recognition of Liz's invaluable expertise and her remarkable ability to turn life's upheavals into opportunities for stability and growth.
Unlock the secrets to guiding your children through the storm of divorce with the wisdom of Dr. Wayne and Dr. Barb in our latest heartfelt discussion. We delve into the world of non-toxic parenting amidst the chaos of separation, providing a beacon of stability for your little ones when they need it most. Our guests bring to light the power of love, communication, and emotional intelligence, ensuring that as a parent, you're equipped to nurture resilience in your children, even when faced with the trials of a toxic ex-partner.
This episode is not just about weathering the storm but also about planting the seeds for future growth. Tune in as we share personal stories and actionable strategies, creating a tapestry of connection and understanding that can be woven into any moment—be it a car ride or a day at the park. Dr. Wayne and Dr. Barb offer up a treasure trove of insights into maintaining that crucial balance of vulnerability and authority, all the while fostering the developmental cornerstone of emotional intelligence in our children. So, whether you’re a parent, guardian, or a caring adult in a child's life, join us for an exploration into transforming tough times into opportunities for deep, meaningful engagement with the young hearts and minds in your care.
Unlock the secrets of resilience and empowerment as we sit down with Julie Clark, bestselling author of "The Last Flight" and "The Lies I Tell." Julie's novels, bursting with themes of survival and self-discovery, take us on a journey through the lives of women who transform from victims into architects of their own liberating plots. Our conversation with Julie delves into the intricate knowledge she holds on abusive relationships, the intense research, and the real-life stories that shape her characters' harrowing experiences. From coercion to control, Julie reveals the authenticity that breathes life into the struggles many women face, empowering listeners with a narrative that speaks volumes about human strength and tenacity.
The conversation takes a sobering turn as we navigate the murky waters of financial abuse in relationships, shining a light on how the legal system can be manipulated as a tool for coercion. Julie's insight paints a vivid picture of the financial and emotional toll that exploitative dynamics can have on victims. She brings attention to the crucial support legal abuse groups provide, offering a lifeline to those ensnared in draining battles for justice. Moreover, we dissect the psychological tactics employed by con artists, using Julie's characters as case studies, and weigh the impact of social media as a double-edged sword for manipulation.
Wrapping up our discussion, we reflect on character evolution within Julie's narratives, where protagonists grapple with moral ambiguity and the importance of self-forgiveness. The layered development invites readers to examine their own perceptions of justice and morality. As we close, we share the ways to support authors and the vital role of independent bookstores in the literary ecosystem, celebrating the diverse formats that make these empowering stories accessible to all. Julie's portrayal of characters navigating blame, trauma, and growth resonates deeply, leaving us with a deeper understanding of the multifaceted journey toward empowerment.
Join us for a heartfelt and eye-opening discussion as Chris and Lisa explore the unsettling truths about the effects of abusive relationships on children. With insights from our seminar on the Top Seven Dangers of Toxic Relationships, we unravel the complexities behind why some individuals might choose to stay in these harmful environments under the belief that it's for their children's benefit. Listen in as we share personal experiences and confront the damaging impact that witnessing abuse has on a child's mental and emotional well-being, emphasizing that the harm caused by non-physical abuse is no less severe.
In this heart-to-heart, we also tackle the long-lasting repercussions of domestic violence on children's development, from the increased risk of mental health issues like depression and anxiety to potential behavioral problems down the line. The conversation doesn't shy away from the stark realities children face, including the frightening statistic that children in homes where partner abuse occurs are far more likely to be abused themselves and suffer from suicidal thoughts. We don't just highlight the problem; we also stress the importance of therapy and the obstacles children may face when one parent tries to block their path to healing.
Lastly, we address the challenging journey of leaving toxic relationships, especially when children are involved. This chapter acknowledges the risks and emotional toll and offers a beacon of hope as we discuss the growth and resilience that can emerge from such adversity. Furthermore, we shed light on the critical role of the legal system in co-parenting scenarios, emphasizing the need for third-party support and the emotional intelligence required to navigate these turbulent waters. So tune in and let's walk through this conversation together.
Join us as we sit down with Sara Mathews Dixon, an expert in adolescent therapy with a wealth of experience from psychiatric hospitals to private practice. Listen in as we explore Sara's commitment to social work and her extraordinary 24/7 availability to clients, a testament to her dedication in preventing crises and supporting families through challenging times. We discuss her psychodynamic approach, which delves into a patient's full history for a comprehensive understanding, and her advice for parents navigating co-parenting and the family court system. Her insights offer comfort and guidance for those concerned about the impact of familial discord on their children's mental health.
In this enlightening conversation, the topic shifts to the nuances of selecting a therapist for your child, emphasizing the importance of rapport and specialized knowledge in areas such as narcissistic abuse. We dissect the role of parental involvement and the critical nature of trust-building in therapeutic relationships. Discover key questions that can reveal a therapist's fit for your family, and learn how therapists can connect with adolescents by honoring their individuality and creating a space grounded in understanding and acceptance.
The discussion takes a turn towards the complexities of family therapy, tackling situations where parents may be at odds and the delicate process of reunification therapy. We delve into effective strategies for engaging non-cooperative parents, the delicate balance of child advocacy, and the therapist's role in maintaining the child's well-being above all. Plus, Sara shares her professional journey and how listeners can stay connected with her insightful work through her Instagram (@sara_lcsw) and her website (SMDpsychotherapy.com). Don't miss this chance to gain valuable perspective on supporting your child through difficult family dynamics.
Vanessa Dimitropoulos' journey hasn't been a walk in the park, but rather a raw and riveting march through adversity and triumph. From the highs of lighting up the screen in "The Walking Dead" to the profound pivot into the trenches of advocacy against narcissistic abuse, Vanessa opens up about personal hardships and victory over psychological warfare. The conversation is a piercing look into the silent wounds inflicted by toxic relationships, the desperate need for law reform, and how victims can carry the weight of manipulation long after the curtain falls.
Plunging headfirst into the stormy seas of emotional recovery, our dialogue navigates through the remnants of childhood traumas and the societal stigma that shrouds the expression of anger. We share reflections on harnessing such pain without allowing it to steer the course of our lives. We discuss the challenges of identifying and understanding the role of narcissistic behavior within family dynamics and offer a beacon of hope for those grappling with provoked wrath in their relationships. It's a candid examination of the intricate dance between personal growth and reconciling with the past.
Our episode wraps with a critical and empathetic examination of the complex web where law and psychology intersect, echoing the voices of countless who have been ensnared by injustice in silence. Seasoned in navigating high-conflict divorce situations, Vanessa advocates for an urgent overhaul of the legal system to rightfully acknowledge and criminalize covert forms of abuse. We shed light on the importance of emotional support amidst legal battles and the stark realization that while reform is necessary, some individuals, scarred by their own lack of empathy, may never change.
Unlock the secrets of cybersecurity and personal safety with Greg Glassock, the seasoned CEO of Olympic Tactical, as he joins us for an enthralling conversation that dives deep into the shadowy corners of digital vulnerabilities. Whether you're intrigued by the risks associated with wired smoke alarms, or you're battling the unease of a hacked phone, Greg's compelling blend of professional expertise and personal experience from his law enforcement background provides a rich tapestry of insights and empathy. He generously shares his top strategies for crafting unbreakable passwords and advocates for secure password management apps, arming you with the know-how to safeguard your digital domain.
As we journey further, Greg illuminates the complexities of tracking devices like Apple tags, revealing how they straddle the line between protection and privacy invasion. With clear, step-by-step guidance, he charts a course for bolstering personal safety against the threats posed by stalkers and abusers, some with chilling access to law enforcement tools. Greg's captivating narrative doesn't shy away from the stark realities, instead offering a treasure trove of practical advice—from altering routines to conducting bug sweeps—ensuring you're well-equipped to shield your privacy in both the digital space and the physical world.
Rounding out this critical dialogue, Greg underscores the importance of diligent online security and the art of evidence preservation. With an eye toward the future, he highlights the virtues of encrypted communication and confronts the challenges posed by omnipresent smart devices. Concluding with the essential practice of digital hygiene, this session is a testament to Greg's deep knowledge and our shared commitment to empowering you to maintain a robust defense against the ever-evolving landscape of technological threats. Tune in for an episode that's not just informative but a true lifeline in our interconnected society.
Unlock the complexities of how children's voices shape family court outcomes as we delve into their critical role amidst legal battles. Through experience advocating for children's interests, this episode peels back the curtain on the often adversarial family court system. We shine a spotlight on the nuanced methods that ensure kids are more than heard; they are truly listened to and understood. From dissecting the roles of legal representatives and clinical investigators to addressing the emotional toll these proceedings take on the young ones caught in the middle, we aim to provide a comprehensive understanding of how the system impacts its most vulnerable participants.
The emotional stakes are high when discussing the intersection of family violence and children's well-being within legal disputes. Together with experts in the field, we dissect recent legislative changes in Canada and the balancing act between shielding kids from conflict and ensuring their participation. Our guests from the Office of the Children's Lawyer contribute invaluable perspectives on creating a safer path for children to navigate these complex waters. We also reflect on heart-wrenching cases like Dr. Jennifer Kagan's, advocating for systemic reform and the introduction of domestic abuse specialists to better protect young lives.
Closing out our discussion, we explore the power of credible evidence through the lens of insightful judicial decisions and underscore the importance of approaching each case without bias. From the credibility of children's testimony to the empowerment that comes with understanding the legal process, we emphasize the significance of every individual's story. As we wrap up, we extend a heartfelt thank you to our audience for their engagement and promise to keep the conversation going, recognizing the profound difference that informed, empathetic legal advocacy can make in the lives of children.
Marriage and family therapist Trevor Crow steps into the political spotlight with a heartfelt commitment to reform family courts, combat domestic violence, and address emotional abuse. As she shares her journey towards a state senate seat, Trevor unravels the complexities of these deep societal issues and the urgency of having advocates in governmental positions who truly grasp their impact on both men and women. The dialogue also veers into the tremors felt in her district from political shifts, stirring concerns for women's reproductive rights, and the wide-ranging effects of a pivotal Supreme Court decision poised to reshape gun laws across the nation.
This episode is not just a conversation; it's a rallying cry for actionable change, as we place a magnifying glass on privacy risks related to period tracking apps and the necessity for stricter legal enforcement to safeguard women's autonomy. We put forth strategies for bolstering the family court system, including specialized training for legal professionals on coercive control and the relentless pursuit of truth through perjury law enforcement. Later, we pivot to the power of grassroots movements, shining a light on the integral role of campaign volunteers and sharing the myriad ways you can champion the candidates who resonate with your values—because every voice and every vote propels us closer to the democratic ideal we strive for.
When life handed Rebecca Zung the challenge of juggling law school by night with raising three children, she didn't just rise to the occasion—she soared, transforming her career from a dedicated teacher to a high-powered family law attorney and negotiation strategist. In her magnetic presence, we uncover her compelling narrative, debunking myths that her expertise in dealing with narcissists stems from personal ties, and instead, highlighting a career refined by professional encounters with such personalities. Accompany us on a journey through the eyes of a woman who has mastered the art of turning obstacles into stepping stones.
Navigating the legal system can feel like braving a labyrinth, and few know this better than our guest, who shares the nuanced dance of courtroom trials and the raw realities of divorce proceedings. Rebecca's transition into law wasn't just a career shift; it was an alchemy of past experiences, transforming the skills honed in the classroom to powerful tools in legal advocacy and negotiation. She peels back the curtain on the theatrical expectations many harbor about court dramas, offering instead a candid look at the patience and perseverance required behind the scenes.
This episode culminates with a heartfelt discussion on the pressing need for legal aid in civil cases—a void Rebecca is passionately filling through the SLAY Legal Aid Foundation. It's not just about winning cases; it's about wielding the law as a force for good, extending a helping hand to those grappling with family crises, veterans, and victims of human trafficking. As we bid farewell, we're left inspired by Rebecca's dedication to empowering individuals against the backdrop of a complex legal system, and with a reminder that the pursuit of justice is, indeed, a noble calling.
Embark on a journey of transformation with Nicolle Kopping-Pavars, a former children's lawyer who's traded the gavel for guiding others toward inner peace. Our conversation unveils the often unseen emotional landscape navigated by children amid family legal battles. Nicolle's shift from the courtroom to mindfulness coaching lays bare the raw truths of advocacy and the critical importance of a child's sense of security during family turmoil.
Nicolle offers a rare glimpse into the life of a children's lawyer in Canada, revealing the complex dance of parental communication within legal disputes. She underscores the concept of 'response-ability,' a parental imperative to conduct themselves in a manner that shields their children from the storm of conflict. Our discussion takes a deep look at the intricacies of interviewing children in custody cases, highlighting the finesse required to preserve their authentic voices against the backdrop of potential parental coaching.
We round out our discussion with practical wisdom for parents on how to support their children's well-being through the seismic shifts of divorce. By sharing strategies that respect a child's perspective in family court and assessing the emotional toll of parental separation, we chart a course for families to emerge stronger and more connected. Nicolle's insights serve as a beacon for navigating these choppy waters, ensuring that the voices of the young remain both heard and protected.
Explore the often-misunderstood realm of "character disturbances" with Dr. George K. Simon, a formidable authority with over four decades of expertise in psychology. In this episode, we tackle the complexities distinguishing character issues from narcissism, providing you with the tools to recognize subtle but significant red flags in relationships. Dr. Simon brings his deep knowledge to the fore, discussing how a lack of accountability and a victim mentality can signal deeper personality disorders — crucial awareness in an age where such traits are ever more prevalent.
As we navigate the stormy seas of co-parenting with challenging personalities, we share candid insights on preserving your dignity within the legal system, a terrain where fairness can often seem like a distant concept. Dr. Simon critically evaluates conventional therapy's limitations when it comes to unyielding individuals and underscores the importance of addressing the heart of the matter. Moreover, we offer a glimpse into "Essentials for the Journey," Dr. Simon's latest literary endeavor, ensuring its profound lessons are accessible even to those caught in life's relentless pace. Join us for a conversation that promises guidance and clarity in the midst of character turmoil and personal battles that spill into the courts.
When the gavel struck, marking a new era for victims of family violence in Ontario, it also echoed a victory for the underdog — a self-represented litigant triumphing in court. That's the incredible story we unravel with Sean Valentine from the Family Law Coach, analyzing a landmark legal ruling that now recognizes family violence as a tort in Canada. Our probing conversation exposes the shift in legal paradigms, from quantifying emotional damages to introducing punitive measures against abusers. Sean's expertise shines a light on the evolution of family law, while Lisa gets personal about the grit it takes to stand alone before a judge, fighting for justice.
Brace yourselves as we dissect the intricacies of the Canadian legal system's approach to family violence, and the balance it walks between victim support and the prevention of exploitation. The episode peels back layers of judicial training in domestic violence and the strategic legal maneuvers that enabled this precedent-setting decision. We also speculate on the potential ripple effects this could have on future family law cases. It's not just a discussion—it's an illumination of hope for many who've suffered in silence, a reminder of the power of resilience, and an insightful guide for those navigating the often-intimidating path of self-representation. Join us for an episode that's as transformative as the legal milestone it celebrates.
Navigating the treacherous waters of family court can be a harrowing ordeal, and in this episode, Bill Farias — a seasoned family law attorney — joins us to chart a course through these tumultuous legal seas. Together, we dissect the critical role of representation and advocate for the voiceless, unraveling the nuanced challenges of enforcing court orders. Our conversation reveals the stark reality that the truth is not enough; it's the persuasive presentation of your story that often tips the scales of justice. We expose the dangers of going it alone, and stress the strategic advantage of enlisting the right support, including mental health professionals and divorce coaches, to navigate these deeply personal waters.
The episode walks you through the murky territory of limited legal assistance, where sporadic representation can compromise the integrity of your case. We dissect the attributes of an ideal client and the importance of presenting a composed front in a courtroom. The message is clear: emotional control is key, and holistic support is not just helpful but necessary. We share insights on how to build a solid foundation for your case right from the start and the resources that can shield you from the pitfalls of piecemeal legal advice.
Wrapping up, we pivot to the urgent conversation on legal abuse and the avenues for reforming family court laws. We draw inspiration from the passage of Jennifer's Law in Connecticut, showcasing how individuals can effect change. Ending on a poignant note, we candidly discuss the psychological impacts of remaining in a dysfunctional relationship "for the sake of the children." We underscore the importance of choosing to either mend a fraying partnership or carefully plotting your exit, for the well-being of ALL involved. This episode is a compass for those lost in the labyrinth of family law, pointing towards empowerment and advocacy.
Could you withstand an eight-year odyssey through the labyrinth of the family legal system? Imagine transforming perceived defeats into the bedrock of your victory. Join us as we unravel Lisa's personal saga, taking you through the highs and lows of a grueling legal battle and the resilience required to persevere. The episode sheds light on the complexities of post-separation abuse, specifically the lesser-discussed legal and litigation abuse, offering solidarity and support for those entangled in similar struggles. When technical glitches interrupt our live conversation, it only serves to underscore the importance of community in the face of adversity.
In a candid role reversal, Chris sits down to interview Lisa — interviewer becomes interviewee — to peel back the layers of ongoing legal challenges. We open up about the interminable waits for court dates exacerbated by COVID-19, the emotional tax exacted by a process evocative of PTSD, and the strategic pivot to self-representation after exorbitant legal fees have taken their toll. Sharing from both personal viewpoints, we connect with our listeners, acknowledging the raw emotions we all navigate and the importance of drawing strength from our collective experiences.
Strap in for an exploration of the tactical side of legal warfare, where effective self-representation can lead to cost savings and strategic advantages. We guide you through the intricacies of presenting evidence, staying organized, and maintaining credibility within the courtroom's charged atmosphere. We traverse the nuances of courtroom attire and handling unanticipated incidents, all the while dissecting the pitfalls of disorganized attorneys and underhanded legal tactics. This episode is not just a recounting of personal battles; it's an empowering message of hope and a testament to the strength of truth in the face of a daunting legal system.
Peek behind the curtain of private investigation with Jon, an empathetic sleuth who's reinventing the game. Our enthralling conversation uncovers the truth behind infidelity, child custody, and fraud, and the emotional intelligence necessary to navigate these turbulent waters. As Jon takes us on a journey through the shadowy alleys of surveillance and investigation, you're guaranteed to gain a fresh perspective on the signs of a cheating partner, the nuances of tailing subjects across borders, and the meticulous art of assembling a case that can stand the test of a courtroom.
When the line between investigator and counselor blurs, Jon's approach exemplifies how a heart tuned to the human condition transforms the profession. This episode is a touching exploration of the compassion needed to support clients facing their darkest hours, from the shame of suspicion to the relief of truth. Witness the strength of vulnerability and trust as we uncover how John's unique empathy allows him to guide individuals through strife with a steady hand and a reassuring presence.
Join us for a masterclass in the qualities that define a compassionate private investigator, and the seismic shift the pandemic brought upon relationships and businesses alike. With Jon's vivid anecdotes and sage advice, this episode is a beacon for anyone considering investigative services or simply curious about the personal qualities that distinguish exceptional investigators. Through the lens of COVID-19's impact, discover the importance of choosing the right professional, equipped with empathy, patience, and a keen sense of awareness during these unprecedented times.
Listen in as Shea Drefs from Custody Exchange joins us for a thought-provoking conversation on the ins and outs of parenting plans for those navigating the complexities of separation or divorce. We kick things off by exploring the online app CustodyXchange, which serves as a vital resource for parents in crafting parenting plans, sharing expenses, and communicating effectively. Shea underscores the value of getting a head start on these plans, long before the ink is dry on divorce papers, to facilitate a smoother co-parenting journey and lay a strong foundation for the future.
Navigating the challenges of co-parenting, especially in high-conflict relationships, can be daunting. This conversation sheds light on the common pitfalls of vague language and incomplete parenting plans that often lead to loopholes and misunderstandings. We explore insights on the significance of clear, detailed terms, and Shay offers strategies for handling uncooperative partners. Together, we delve into the advantages of presenting a well-prepared parenting plan to the court and the potential for cost savings when approaching an attorney with a draft in hand.
Our discussion wraps up with practical tips and tools for updating parenting plans to adapt to a child's evolving needs and the changing legal landscape, such as the incorporation of clauses for substance use. We discuss how global events, like the pandemic, have introduced new considerations for parenting plans, emphasizing the importance of safety and stability for children. Tune in for this essential dialogue that aims to empower and support parents in one of the most critical aspects of post-separation life.
Witnessing a client's tragedy can irreversibly change a professional's career path, a reality Lianne Houssami from Upshift Legal Solutions knows all too well. Her experience with a client's suicide led her away from family law, only to return with a mission to revolutionize the field. Our heartfelt discussion with Lianne peels back the layers of her journey, emphasizing the power of direct, honest communication between lawyers and clients. She stresses that glossing over the harsh truths does a disservice to those seeking guidance through the labyrinth of family law, and how her approach is shaping client outcomes.
The legal world can often seem like an exclusive club where only those with deep pockets gain entry. Leanne challenges this notion, introducing us to the concept of unbundled legal services, which is redefining affordability and access in the legal system. This approach to legal counsel provides clients with the autonomy to manage their case with selective professional support, a model that's gaining traction despite some lingering professional skepticism. We also confront the emotional and psychological toll of contentious litigation, questioning the effectiveness of the adversarial court system for family matters and exploring more compassionate alternatives that consider the well-being of families beyond the courtroom.
Finally, we step into the realm of enforcing family law judgments, with Lianne illuminating Alberta's robust Maintenance Enforcement and Recalculation Programs. These initiatives alleviate the strain between parties by streamlining support payments and adapting to income fluctuations. Lianne's insights underscore the significance of such programs and the broader impact advocacy can have on legal reform. As our conversation concludes, it's evident that Lianne's work with Upshift Legal Solutions is not only about legal representation but also about equipping the community with the knowledge to navigate the complexities of family law. Join us for an episode that transcends legal jargon, offering a beacon of hope and change for families entangled in legal disputes.
Unlock the secrets to healing from the invisible wounds of narcissistic discard as we share an enlightening conversation with Chelsey Brooke Cole, a psychotherapist specializing in this form of emotional trauma. Chelsey's insights shed light on the insidious cycle of idealization, devaluation, and the eventual discard that leaves many reeling in confusion and pain. The discussion journeys through the stark contrasts between a narcissist's manipulations and a healthy breakup, arming you with the knowledge to recognize the signs and safeguard your emotional well-being.
The heart of our conversation with Chelsey delves into the murky depths of a narcissist's 'love', revealing the harsh truth that partners are often seen as disposable objects rather than cherished companions. We dissect the nuances of devaluation versus discard, illustrating the emotional neglect and betrayal woven into the fabric of such toxic relationships. Chelsey also pulls back the curtain on the aftermath of being discarded, including the chilling potential for narcissists to move on rapidly and the harrowing hoovering phase where they might seek to lure you back into their destructive orbit.
Concluding our insightful dialogue, we explore the defensive mechanisms you can employ to protect yourself in the face of narcissistic relationships. Chelsey imparts strategies for emotional self-defense and the critical role that radical acceptance plays in acknowledging the unchanging patterns of abuse. Finishing on a hopeful note, we discuss how to connect with Chelsey and other resources that offer support and empowerment to those looking to rebuild their lives in the wake of narcissistic abuse. Chelsey leaves us with a potent reminder of the resilience that can be fostered in the face of such adversity.
Unlock the secrets to navigating intimacy after the storm of toxic relationships as we sit down with the insightful Dr. Kristie Overstreet, renowned sex therapist and voice behind the "Fix Yourself First" podcast. This episode peels back the layers on subjects often shrouded in silence, from confronting narcissistic behavior that can suffocate the bedroom atmosphere to challenging the derogatory use of 'vanilla' in our sex lives. Kristie brings to the table not just her professional expertise but also the richness of her personal experiences, guiding us through the essential self-work that paves the way for true connection and fulfillment in our most cherished bonds.
Feel the weight of control and shame lifting as we tackle the grip these forces can have on our relationships. Our discussion traverses the challenging terrain of sexual expectations and scripts that can lead to intimacy feeling like a performance rather than an expression of love. Kristie and I share personal anecdotes, shedding light on the transition from the honeymoon phase to the potential emergence of abusive behavior post-marriage. We provide a compass for steering through these complex dynamics, emphasizing the importance of emotional safety and the mutual nature of a thriving sexual relationship.
Concluding the episode, we explore the healing journey post-toxic relationship, with a focus on self-improvement that can rejuvenate your approach to connecting with others. Kristie underscores the transformative power of personal growth, inviting you to embrace the support that friends, family, and professionals can offer. Join us for a thoughtful expedition into the heart of what it means to rebuild trust, set healthy boundaries, and ultimately, find joy in intimacy once more.
Join us for a compelling conversation with Pennsylvania Family Law Attorney Beth Tibbot, as we explore the intricate connections between psychology, family law, and navigating high-conflict situations. Beth's unique journey from a psychology graduate to a seasoned family lawyer provides invaluable insights into the challenges and revelations within the legal system. Listen in as she shares her experiences and the critical turning point that propelled her toward a career in family law, despite her initial reservations. This episode is a must-listen for anyone interested in the transformational power of advocacy and the role of personal passion in finding one's calling.
The intricacies of legal battles are often fraught with emotional turmoil, especially when manipulation and narcissism come into play. Discover how to recognize the signs of gaslighting, the nuances of truth, and the importance of integrity in legal representation. We discuss strategies for clients to assess an attorney's expertise in handling narcissistic behavior and the significance of attorneys who are honest about their limitations. We shed light on the balance between being informed and not being misled, providing guidance on navigating these delicate situations with a clear head and a strong sense of self.
Money matters and clear communication take center stage as we delve into the dynamics of support and transparency within legal cases. Hear about the importance of responsible financial stewardship from lawyers and the benefits of regular client-attorney check-ins. This episode also touches on self-representation, the empowerment of moving beyond victimhood, and the risks associated with certain custody case strategies. We wrap up with thoughtful advice for managing post-separation family interactions and ensuring that children's needs remain a priority. Tune in for a heartfelt and informative session that will resonate with anyone facing the complexities of family law.
Join us as we sit down with Sean Valentine, a family lawyer/coach hailing from Canada, who introduces us to his innovative legal coaching services for those embroiled in the turmoil of separation and divorce. Sean paints a picture of a legal support system where clients can craft their own journey, choosing the help they need, whether that's document drafting, courtroom strategy, or understanding their rights. His tailored approach offers a beacon of empowerment for those feeling lost in the family law maze, whether they're stepping into the legal world for the first time or are battle-worn veterans seeking a strategic ally.
As we navigate the complexities of legal disputes, Sean emphasizes the virtue of integrity, bringing to light the principle of 'clean hands' that courts hold in high esteem. He shares invaluable advice on cost-effective litigation, reminding listeners that sometimes the emotional and financial toll of legal battles can far outweigh the rewards. Sean doesn't shy away from the emotional undertow of separation and encourages a shift in focus from past grievances to the road of rebuilding ahead. In our exploration, the benefits of thoughtful communication and the judicious use of legal resources are also brought to the fore, along with the merits of having a divorce coach and a 'client concierge' to ensure holistic support.
Rounding off our enlightening session, we delve into the world of family law from the angle of self-representation. Sean discusses the crucial balance between guiding clients and preserving their autonomy, highlighting the power of being coachable and the nuances of overlooked legal details like life insurance and child support adjustments.
Unlock the secrets to navigating high-conflict divorce from the trenches with expert guidance from Jeffrey Kaplan, a seasoned New York City divorce attorney with a flair for tackling matrimonial chaos. Join us as we delve into the gritty details of prolonged legal battles, where the deep pockets of a financially dominant spouse can turn discovery into a weapon of delay. Jeffrey's experience sheds light on the strategic importance of strict compliance and skillful use of motions to keep the case on track, turning the legal tides in your favor.
The path to resolution isn't just a matter of legal maneuvering; it's also about choosing the right attorney and knowing when to embrace alternatives like mediation for a more amicable outcome. We share a personal story that illuminates the power of mediation done with the rigor of trial preparation, and emphasize the value of managing client expectations and case momentum. For those feeling stuck in the quicksand of a stalled family law case, we discuss the playbook for engaging the court's current initiative to clear the backlog, transforming stagnation into action.
Unlock the secrets to a healthier, less stressed life with Dr. Kurt Waples as we explore the undeniable link between stress and physical health. Our bodies often bear the brunt of our emotional turmoil, a truth that becomes evident in the throes of high-stakes situations like high-conflict divorces or enduring complex PTSD. Dr. Waples, with his wealth of knowledge, sheds light on the significance of hormonal balance and how the state of our physical form can serve as a clear indicator of deeper health concerns. We share strategies for embracing movement and the great outdoors as powerful allies against the relentless pressures of modern life, emphasizing that reclaiming a connection with our physical selves is not just beneficial but necessary for emotional healing and overcoming persistent stress and sleep deprivation.
Breath is life, yet in times of stress, our breathing patterns can betray us, exacerbating our strife. Our discussion with Dr. Waples ventures into the mechanics of breathing and its profound impact on our well-being, especially when stress tightens its grip. The episode reveals how we can break free from the physical impediments of stress, such as constricted muscles and a stiff diaphragm, through fascia work and specialized breathing techniques. We spotlight the Wim Hof method as a beacon of hope for those seeking tangible relief and even touch upon the surprising resilience-building effects of cold showers, equipping listeners with practical tools to fortify their stress response.
The finale of our conversation with Dr. Waples is a deep dive into the intricate dance of stress, mental health, and physical well-being. A salient point emerges – stress is not just a footnote in our health narrative but a leading cause of concern in many medical consultations. We examine the pivotal role adrenaline plays in stress responses and discuss the importance of addressing our biochemistry, hormones, and body composition to foster mental health. Dr. Waples introduces us to bioimpedance analysis as a method to measure muscle mass and stress levels, highlighting the fine line between muscle loss and fat retention during stressful times. As we conclude, we leave you with a roadmap to personalized health strategies that promise more than just fleeting relief but a journey toward lasting tranquility and optimal health.
Join us for an enlightening chat with Stephanie, a seasoned NY domestic violence attorney, as we continue to untangle the complex web of myths and realities that permeate family court. Listen in as Stephanie dismantles pervasive misconceptions, like the supposed biases of judges or the notion that one gender is favored in custody disputes. With a discerning eye, we scrutinize the statistics and realities facing men who seek primary custody and challenge the expectation that personal narratives are fully aired and acknowledged in court settings.
In this segment, we tackle the intricate dynamics of child custody in the shadow of domestic violence. The discussion shifts to the legal standards that govern custody decisions and the prevalent misunderstanding that primary caretakers are always favored. Stephanie sheds light on the challenges of presenting domestic violence claims in court and the importance of maintaining detailed records to support custody cases. Our conversation provides a deep look into the struggles victims face within the legal system, highlighting the need for judicial sensitivity and understanding of the nuances of abuse.
The narrative continues as we explore the separation of financial responsibility from custodial rights. Stephanie explains the misconception that paying child support guarantees visitation and addresses the frustrations that non-custodial parents often express. We also delve into the complications of involving Child Protective Services in custody disputes and the legal ramifications of online sharing in the context of domestic violence. Wrapping up, the dialogue turns to the criminalization of coercive control and the critical need for judicial education to better handle sensitive cases, underlining the vital role of electing informed judges to ensure justice and empathy in family court proceedings.
Unlock the secrets of divorce that your lawyer might not tell you, as we're joined by Raiford Palmer, the sharp-minded divorce attorney and author of the best-selling book "I Just Want This Done." Rayford dismantles the 'Loser's Fallacy,' a trap for primary breadwinners who mistakenly believe they're hemorrhaging assets and parental time in divorce settlements. Our compelling discussion challenges this misconception, shining a light on the reality that these are shared marital properties. Moreover, for those facing off against a partner with narcissistic tendencies, we meticulously dissect the approach needed to ensure a fair distribution without succumbing to emotional exhaustion.
Navigating the treacherous waters of a divorce trial demands more than just legal knowledge—it calls for a strategic cost-benefit analysis. We delve into the oft-overlooked aspects of trial costs, encompassing not just the financial burden but the emotional and opportunity costs as well. Through our conversation, listeners will grasp the necessity of being informed and educated clients, especially when pitted against a narcissistic ex-partner using the legal system as a battleground. Our frank talk underscores the imperative of assessing whether the pursuit of justice is worth the potential drain on one's reserves of time, money, and well-being.
Wrapping up our thought-provoking session, we tackle the early stages of divorce where high emotions can both help and hinder settlements. I share insights on leveraging these initial moments to your advantage by gathering information and extending offers before positions become inflexible. We also acknowledge the emotional complexities that extend beyond the courtroom and the importance of professional counseling in dealing with high-conflict personalities. Finally, we consider the court system's shortcomings in resolving emotional disputes and provide listeners with invaluable resources to navigate this life-altering process with clarity and support.
Join us as we unravel the complexities of family court with the insight of Stephanie, a TikTok sensation and domestic violence attorney from New York. Listen in as she shares her unexpected journey into the field of family law and uncovers the stark realities facing domestic violence victims within the legal system. Our conversation sheds light on the essential need for specialized domestic violence training for lawyers, the challenges victims face in custody battles, and the importance of acknowledging patterns of behavior that directly affect children. Stephanie also confronts common myths, such as the false perception that judges do not take abuse seriously and the overestimated frequency of false DV allegations.
Our discussion covers the subtle cues that can alter the course of a family court proceeding, such as a judge's facial expressions and body language during virtual trials. Stephanie recounts a telling experience where such nuances prompted a strategic shift in presenting evidence. We also tackle the prevalent misconception that being the "better parent" guarantees full legal custody, highlighting instead that joint legal custody is often the norm. The conversation extends to the intricate dynamics between parents when they disagree on crucial decisions for their children, emphasizing the necessity for concrete evidence and credible witnesses in DV cases.
In our final segment, we explore the influential role of attorneys for the child, known as law guardians or guardian ad litems, across various states. Stephanie illuminates the variations in their training and authority, particularly regarding domestic violence expertise. We consider a pivotal case in Canada where a self-represented woman triumphed against coercive control and the financial burdens of legal abuse in endless litigation. This chapter emphasizes the weight that unbiased reports from a child's attorney can carry in custody disputes, demonstrating the profound impact these advocates can have on the lives of children and families entangled in the legal system. Listen to this enlightening episode for a comprehensive look at the intersections of domestic violence and family court through the eyes of an experienced attorney.
Have you ever considered the silent battles children face in the shadow of high-conflict marriage and divorce? We're joined by esteemed New York family lawyer Dennis Vetrano as we explore the deep, often unseen impact of domestic disharmony on the youngest members of the family. In a candid conversation, we peel back the layers of the psychological effects that parental discord can have on children, stressing their emotional health as a paramount concern in high-conflict divorce.
The complexities of a child's world magnify when caught between acrimonious relationships, and in this episode, we don't shy away from the tough discussions. We delve into the importance of recognizing behavioral changes in children and the significant role that professionals, such as counselors and teachers, play in safeguarding their mental health. Dennis brings to light the challenges within the judicial system to address parental alienation and the need for careful documentation when it comes to the well-being of our kids. His insights give a fresh perspective on the intricate dance of advocating for a child's voice in court.
We discuss the resilience required to co-parent with a toxic ex-partner and the strategies one can employ to ensure a child’s voice is not lost amidst legal tumult. This episode isn't just about the trials of family law; it's an affirmation of the strength found in professional support and the unwavering commitment to the emotional welfare of children. Join us for this heartfelt reflection on the power of advocacy and the unyielding spirit needed to navigate the complexities of divorce and co-parenting.
When Texas State Representative Lacey Hull stepped out of the voting booth and into the halls of influence, she brought with her a fierce resolve to tackle domestic violence in a way the Lone Star State has never seen. In this episode, Lisa talks with Lacey - a mother turned political force - about the introduction of coercive control legislation in Texas. Our conversation delves into the importance of broadening the understanding of domestic violence beyond physical abuse and capturing the essence of coercive control - a destructive force that erodes personal freedom and independence. Lacey shares insights on the bipartisan backing she foresees for this transformative bill and the vital roundtable discussions that have helped set the stage for legislative action.
The episode is a powerful testament to the strength of survivor stories and the influential role they play in the fight for justice. Inspired by Connecticut's Jennifer's Law and the UK's legal precedents, we explore the educational 'wave' that's enlightening the nation on the critical need to recognize and criminalize coercive control. This movement's momentum is palpable, as is the commitment of individuals and organizations rallying for change. For Texans eager to support this legislative push, this episode not only offers a glimpse into the transformative work being done but also serves as a call to action to join forces, share experiences, and ignite a dialogue that resonates through every level of society, championing a future where justice for survivors is not only hoped for but realized.
Unlock the truths behind safety and domestic violence as we sit down with Steve Dana, founder and CEO of Protection from Abuse, who brings his invaluable expertise to the table. We dissect the alarming trend of victims underestimating their risk and delve into the life-saving significance of risk assessments that can recalibrate victims' understanding of their own perilous situations. Our conversation journeys through the viral dialogue sparked by an open letter to Kanye West, highlighting how the glare of the public eye can illuminate the hidden abusive dynamics that pervade our society.
Navigating the complexities of domestic violence within the legal sphere presents its own set of challenges, a theme we explore thoroughly with insights from my own experiences in risk management and security. The discussion spotlights the critical need for empathy and specialized knowledge among legal professionals, while also uncovering the practicalities and pitfalls of safety planning. Listen closely as we reflect on the intersection between law and personal safeguarding, shedding light on common misconceptions and the tailored strategies that could mean the difference between danger and safety for those in high-risk situations.
As we conclude our eye-opening conversation, we underscore the importance of distinguishing between law enforcement and security expertise, emphasizing the specialized training that security professionals undergo. The episode culminates with a powerful message on the impact of early education about healthy relationships, sharing personal anecdotes that demonstrate the profound influence such lessons can have. Our heartfelt appreciation for the collaborative spirit and depth of our discussion is palpable, leaving listeners with a sense of urgency to further engage with and educate themselves on the issue of domestic violence.
Have you ever wondered what invisible chains keep someone tethered to an abusive partner, despite the dangers? Our conversation with Dennis Vetrano, a NY divorce lawyer with twenty years in family law, offers a profound look behind the curtain of these harrowing situations. Dennis navigates the complexities of cultural and societal pressures that often confine victims to harmful marriages, shedding light on the pivotal role that domestic violence training—or the alarming lack thereof—plays for legal advocates today.
Supporting a loved one through the storm of an abusive relationship is a delicate dance, often riddled with frustration and fear. This episode explores the intertwined emotions and challenges faced by friends, family, and even legal professionals who strive to maintain a lifeline to those caught in the web of manipulation. Dennis shares his expertise on the intricacies of providing empathy while also conveying the harsh realities that plague victims, and the nuanced understanding required to effectively guide them through the legal system.
As we wrap up our poignant exchange, we delve into the thorny path of co-parenting with a toxic ex. It's a battleground where strategies like "gray-rocking" and parallel parenting become shields to protect both the children's and one’s own well-being. Our seasoned expert emphasizes the importance of firm boundaries and professional support to navigate these turbulent waters. As our discussion comes to a close, we reflect on the significance of accessible legal communication, fostering a partnership built on respect, and the common goal of easing the journey for those facing these difficult circumstances.
Are the battle lines of divorce really set in stone? Micki McWade, a collaborative divorce professional and social worker, joins us to shatter this myth, revealing a world where collaboration triumphs over confrontation. With a wealth of experience spanning two decades, she shares the intricacies of the collaborative divorce process, a strategy that brings together lawyers, mental health experts, and financial advisors to champion a cooperative approach. This episode strips back the complexities of emotionally charged negotiations, especially when faced with high-conflict personalities or those exhibiting narcissistic traits. Micki's wisdom sheds light on the art of effective divorce management, ensuring minimized emotional and financial strain for all parties involved.
Navigating the stormy seas of divorce demands more than just legal expertise; it requires a steady hand and a compassionate heart. Here, the role of mental health professionals is put under the microscope, showcasing their importance in maintaining neutrality and fairness throughout the collaborative divorce journey. Listen to Micki discuss how vital it is to remain collected under pressure, employing techniques such as breathing exercises to maintain composure. This session promises not only a deep understanding of the collaborative model but also offers practical tools to keep both parties engaged and focused on reaching an equitable settlement.
The final chapter unveils the delicate dance between mental health and the legal system, especially when domestic violence complicates the picture. Micki touches on how the courts often lean on mental health professionals in family law, and why lawyers must be adept in both collaborative negotiation and understanding domestic violence. We wrap up with inspiring stories that speak to the transformative power of imagining a brighter future, including a case study where a drawn-out divorce reached a peaceful resolution in just two days thanks to the power of collaboration. This episode is an eye-opener, illuminating the path to personal growth and highlighting the hopeful horizon that lies beyond life's toughest transitions.
Join us as we welcome Dr. Jill Leibowitz, an esteemed New York City psychologist, for a candid discussion on the complexities of high-conflict divorce and its ripple effects on children. Dr. Leibowitz offers a unique perspective on the role of a therapist in these challenging scenarios, emphasizing the importance of advocating for the child's needs over the parents'. Throughout the conversation, she touches on the intricate balance parents must maintain in managing their emotional turmoil while ensuring the well-being of their children, especially in cases involving narcissistic abuse.
Listen in as we explore the profound impact of parental conflict on children and the significance of supporting them in expressing their emotions. Dr. Leibowitz shares an enlightening story from a therapy session that underscores the breakthroughs possible when children are given the space to navigate their feelings amidst family turmoil. The importance of validating children's experiences becomes a beacon for improving their circumstances, fostering a deeper understanding of the emotions at play in the aftermath of divorce.
The episode rounds off with a look at the necessity for clear and healthy communication in co-parenting, the role of emotional regulation in parenting, and the nuances of child therapy during high-conflict divorce. Dr. Leibowitz sheds light on the delicacy of therapy in such sensitive conditions, highlighting how a judge's directive can help in creating a balanced environment for the child's therapy. As we discuss these pivotal themes, the insights offered will not only resonate with those going through similar experiences but also provide a roadmap for navigating these turbulent waters with grace and empathy for the children caught in the middle.
Ever wondered about surviving high-conflict co-parenting situations in blended families? We're unraveling this complex challenge, alongside the inspiring Marit from Blended Family Frappé, who shares her insights on how step-parents often find themselves advocating for boundaries and resources amidst the chaotic new roles they assume. In this enlightening conversation, she sheds light on the profound impact these situations have on children and how we can navigate them.
This episode is about recognizing the harsh realities of high-conflict co-parenting and finding effective strategies for maintaining a sense of normalcy for the children involved. We share our personal experiences and practical tips, emphasizing the importance of not getting entangled in the high-conflict parent's drama and chaos, but rather focusing on being true to oneself. Our candid conversation provides invaluable insights into coping with legal abuse and the importance of setting boundaries, based on personal experiences.
The essence of this episode is to provide support and understanding for blended families dealing with high-conflict co-parenting situations. We explore the challenges step-parents face, the impact of empathy on relationships, and the significance of understanding a new partner's past experiences. We also delve into the effects of high-conflict co-parenting on children, including loyalty bonds and alienation, while emphasizing the importance of therapy and self-work in healing from trauma and creating healthy relationships. With this episode, our aim is to provide a beacon of hope for those in the throes of high-conflict co-parenting, offering resources, and support to navigate these turbulent waters. So, gear up for a heartfelt and enlightening conversation.
Get ready to navigate the turbulent waters of triggers and trauma within the family court system, guided by our guest, Leslie Miller, a seasoned psychotherapist and coach. Learn why court involvement can be so triggering and the profound impact it can have on our health. As we unravel the complexities of trauma, we draw parallels with the court involvement, such as the unsettling loss of control and autonomy, which can amplify the effects of previous abuse. We delve into the intricacies of high-conflict divorces, the anxiety of waiting periods before hearings, and the frustration of silence from your own lawyer. This episode is a beacon for anyone braving the challenging process of high-conflict divorce.
We also discuss practical ways of managing triggers and setting healthy boundaries, especially in tough co-parenting scenarios. Strategies range from recognizing triggers to self-care and mindfulness practices, as well as premeditating responses to common situations. Emphasizing the importance of seeking professional aid when dealing with custody issues, we provide a comprehensive guide for individuals faced with these challenges. From discussing hyper-vigilance to emphasizing the value of self-care and seeking support when dealing with narcissistic abuse, this episode is an insightful support system.
Lastly, we focus on how to manage court proceedings and high-conflict divorces. We delve into the world of hypervigilance and its impact, discussing how traumatic memories can unexpectedly resurface even years later, and how they are stored in the body. We also highlight the importance of self-care and soliciting support, emphasizing the value of coaching and consultation.
Get ready to shatter the mystery of financial deception in divorce cases with our guest James Peet, a Certified Fraud Examiner. James, a former police officer turned financial fraud detective, brings to light how ignorance of your financial details can lead to the concealment of assets in relationships. As we delve into this revelation, you'll gain insights into the financial dynamics in partnerships and the importance of being financially literate.
Peel back the layers of financial infidelity as we uncover the red flags in marriages: missing mail, unexplained purchases, secret bank accounts, and misuse of online payment platforms. We'll guide you through personal experiences and practical advice on how to navigate these murky financial waters. We can't stress enough the importance of regularly updating beneficiaries and running credit reports.
We also venture into the realm of forensic accounting and fraud investigations. Learn about the costs involved, the potential for attorney's fees reimbursement, and the invaluable role these experts play in court proceedings. Confront the challenges of non-compliant parties and discover the power of subpoenas in obtaining needed financial documents. James not only brings his expertise as a Certified Fraud Examiner but also his unique perspective as a science fiction writer (!) to the episode. Don't miss this enlightening conversation that will arm you with tools to recognize and combat financial deception.
We're thrilled to have Asia Scarlett-Jones, a seasoned NYC family law attorney, share her unique insights about minority challenges in the legal system. Drawing from her own experiences, Asia speaks candidly about the glaring lack of diversity in the court system and its repercussions on minority families, particularly the ones grappling with language barriers.
We also tackle the pertinent issue of the urgent need for translators and diverse representation within the system. In a deep dive into the emotional landscape of family court, we focus on managing expectations and emotions.
Asia emphasizes the need for legal professionals to remain detached yet empathetic, particularly while representing victims of domestic violence. She shares how attorneys can serve as a crucial filter, straddling the delicate balance between their clients’ emotional turmoil and rational decision-making. We also underscore the significance of prioritizing a child's best interest.
Asia advises on exploring alternative methods like mediation to circumvent the negative effects of litigation on families. Navigating the labyrinthine legal system can be daunting, which is why we discuss the significance of court orders and how to maintain an effective attorney-client relationship. Asia presents valuable advice about communicating with your lawyer, managing expectations, and nurturing this unique relationship. She shares her experience of guiding clients through the trying process of divorce and the importance of supporting them even after their case is settled.
Tune in for an engaging discussion filled with profound insights and practical advice on co-parenting, family law, and navigating the legal system.
**BTGO welcomes back our friend, NY attorney, mediator, and CUNY law professor, Joy Rosenthal (Instagram @joymediator), who talks about a child's perspective when parents separate, what you need to know about at the beginning of the divorce process, and how to shield your kids from the conflict as much as you can. She also has a course on this topic!
Our book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” is now available!! Learn more and order here:**
https://BeenThereGotOut.com/book
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: May 30th, 2023
**BTGO welcomes our UK friend, narcissistic abuse survivor, and founder of Renewed Minds (Instagram @therenewedminds), Modupe Ladipo (Instagram @mladipo), who talks about how abuse is a human issue, not a gender issue, why storytelling can be so helpful in the healing process, and why it is also so important for your career to move forward from trauma.
Our book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” is now available!! Learn more and order here:**
https://BeenThereGotOut.com/book
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: March 23rd, 2023
**BTGO welcomes our friend, NY lawyer, CUNY professor, and expert mediator Joy Rosenthal (Instagram @joymediator) who talks about the most important qualities in a mediator and why - especially when you're dealing with a high-conflict personality - the needs of the kids should be the top priority, and what "presumptive ADR" means in the process, so you can show you've done everything you can before litigation.
Our book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” is now available!! Learn more and order here:**
https://BeenThereGotOut.com/book
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: March 21st, 2023
BTGO welcomes UK trauma-informed therapist, coach, and host of the Narcissistic Abuse and Trauma Recovery podcast, Caroline Strawson (Instagram @carolinestrawson), who talks about how the brain "flips its lid" during trauma and tips to immediately get back on track, the importance of strategy before going into court, including the value of a "protective figure," and the different types of effective trauma therapy which don't **involve talking.
Our book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” is now available!! Learn more and order here:
https://BeenThereGotOut.com/book
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
For inclusion in the produced YouTube (landscape) video:
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.**
Recorded: March 9th, 2023
**BTGO welcomes our friend Jon (Instagram @malevictimsoffemalenarcissists) who talks about the different ways men experience domestic abuse, especially from covert female narcissists, how coverts use their kids for supply, the effects of parental alienation/abuse by proxy on protective parents, and more. Abuse isn’t a male or female issue… it’s a HUMAN issue!
Our book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” is now available!! Learn more and order here:**
https://BeenThereGotOut.com/book
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: April 20th, 2023
**BTGO welcomes NYC family lawyer, author, and filmmaker Mia Poppe (Instagram @miapoppe.esq) who discusses how important it is to hire a tribe of professionals to get you through a high-conflict legal battle, the significance of keeping a marathon mindset, and her own incredible story of achieving justice and restoring faith in the legal system.
Our book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” is now available!! Learn more and order here:**
https://BeenThereGotOut.com/book
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: April 13th, 2023
**BTGO welcomes UK superstar narcissistic abuse expert and coach Elizabeth Shaw (Instagram @coachelizabethshaw), who speaks about the narcissist and role-playing, how they "sell" themselves to an audience, delusion, lying, how and why narcissists morph into characters to exploit others, and more juicy narcissist talk.
Our book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” is now available!! Learn more and order here:**
https://BeenThereGotOut.com/book
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
For inclusion in the produced YouTube (landscape) video:
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: April 11th, 2023
**BTGO welcomes NYC family lawyer Ruth Chung (Instagram @ruthchungesq), who talks about how to behave properly in court, why you need to find moments of joy during the process, and the importance of choosing the right attorney.
Our book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” is now available!! Learn more and order here:**
https://BeenThereGotOut.com/book
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: April 11th, 2023
**BTGO welcomes NY family lawyer Ken Novenstern (Instagram @novenstern), who talks about the fundamentals of divorce, including what you probably didn't know regarding the significance of an asset list, the nuances of 529 plans, and the importance of choosing a lawyer who stays on top of the law.
Our book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” is now available!! Learn more and order here:**
https://BeenThereGotOut.com/book
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: April 4th, 2023
**BTGO welcomes back CT social worker Sara Mathews Dixon (Instagram @sara_lcsw) who speaks about the importance of rapport with a therapist - especially one who understands your background, how self-disclosure can be harmful, and how to find the appropriate therapist for you and your children.
Our book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” is now available!! Learn more and order here:**
https://BeenThereGotOut.com/book
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: May 3rd, 2023
**BTGO welcomes our friend, Massachusetts divorce and infertility coach (and Divorcing Intact summit coordinator!) Kristen Darcy, who shares some amazing suggestions on how to deal with the holidays and expectations, how gratitude can effectively change your perspective, and ways to stay deeply connected with your children throughout their lives.
Our book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” is now available!! Learn more and order here:**
https://BeenThereGotOut.com/book
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: May 10th, 2023
**BTGO welcomes co-founder of @exexperts (Instagram) “TH,” who talks about the myth of amicable co-parenting with a toxic ex, why you should stop "shoulding" on yourself, and, for anyone at the beginning of the process, how important it is to watch her upcoming WIN YOUR DIVORCE summit!
Our book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” is now available!! Learn more and order here:**
https://BeenThereGotOut.com/book
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: May 2nd, 2023
**BTGO welcomes PA business litigator, attorney Linda Alle-Murphy (Instagram @allemurphy) who talks about what you need to know when you’re getting out of business with a spouse, including contingency planning, partnership agreements, what to do if you are not in the powerful position in the business relationship…
… and the importance of consulting with a business attorney - along with a matrimonial attorney - if you are going through a divorce at the same time, especially one involving high conflict!
Our book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” is now available!! Learn more and order here:**
https://BeenThereGotOut.com/book
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
May 23rd, 2023
**BTGO welcomes back our friend, CA therapist Rebecca Ishida (Instagram @rebecca_ishida) who talks about betrayal trauma and friendship during divorce and thereafter, the "sunk cost fallacy," and what to do after losing someone who you thought was part of your closest inner circle.
Our book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” is now available!! Learn more and order here:**
https://BeenThereGotOut.com/book
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: May 16th, 2023
**BTGO welcomes Amber Chapman (Instagram @family_matters_with_amber), who talks about what it's like on the other side of high-conflict divorce and co-parenting, how she finally got a successful relocation, the importance of collaborating with your attorneys, and other tips to get yourself and your children through it safely and effectively.
Our book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” is now available!! Learn more and order here:**
https://BeenThereGotOut.com/book
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
**If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: May 11th, 2023**
**BTGO welcomes NY security, executive protection, and digital privacy expert Vance Long (Instagram: @theskaingroup) who discusses digital hygiene, how to stay "left of bang," and how much you can do to protect your privacy and safety.
A big thanks to Sanctuary for Families @sffny for their recent workshop on this topic, as well as the fabulous attorneys at Carrie Goldberg Law @cagoldberglaw who connected us to this amazing resource!
Our book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” is now available!! Learn more and order here:**
https://BeenThereGotOut.com/book
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: April 3rd, 2023
**BTGO welcomes back Los Angeles family lawyer Padideh Jafari (Instagram @jafarilegal) for part 2 of our 2-part interview. We continue our conversation by discussing why narcissists fight for what they don't actually want, why parenting is so hard for them, tips to strengthen your case when there is unspeakable abuse against your children, and how to handle smear campaigns on social media.
Our book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” is now available!! Learn more and order here:**
https://BeenThereGotOut.com/book
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: April 6th, 2023
**BTGO welcomes our friend, Los Angeles family lawyer Padideh Jafari (Instagram @jafarilegal) for part 1 of our 2-part interview. Padideh talks about how toxic people weaponize the legal system, how sexism is hurting this community, and the illegal thing you may be doing without realizing it, which is also harming your case and could even get you sanctioned.
Our book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” is now available!! Learn more and order here:**
https://BeenThereGotOut.com/book
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: March 28th, 2023
**In this interview, veteran mediator Shel Stark discusses why a mutual pledge is necessary at the beginning of the mediation process, the importance of risk assessment, lying and plausibility before going to trial, and how to deal with hidden assets during mediation.
Our book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” is now available!! Learn more and order here:**
https://BeenThereGotOut.com/book
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
**BTGO welcomes back our friend, NJ security expert Steve Dana (Instagram @thebodyguard.official) and head of the non-profit @protectionfromabuse, who talks about why a restraining order is more than a piece of paper, how to properly prepare in terms of documentation before going for one, and what to realistically expect during the process, and afterwards.
Our book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” is now available!! Learn more and order here:**
https://BeenThereGotOut.com/book
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: March 14th, 2023
**BTGO welcomes Connecticut massage therapist and health coach, Tess Abalos (Instagram @mtabalos), who talks about the importance of realizing our own beliefs and values so that we can take the right actions and be better parents for our children. She noted how important it is to focus on what you want, rather than what you fear, and how you can turn from a puddle into a ninja!
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).**
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: February 16th, 2023
**BTGO welcomes our friend, New Jersey family lawyer Melissa Cohen (Instagram @melissapen123, @seidenfamilylaw) who speaks about how the pandemic has affected the family court system, why Google is not necessarily your friend when it comes to high-conflict divorce and custody battles, and how family court is the opposite of criminal court, where the best people are at their worst, versus the worst people at their best...
Our book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” is now available!! Learn more and order here:**
https://BeenThereGotOut.com/book
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: February 28th, 2023
**BTGO welcomes back our friend, author, coach, therapist, and TikTok superstar creator, Matt Phifer (Instagram @matthewlphifer) who talks about how staying in toxic relationships hinders your personal growth, different attachment styles and their effect on children, and the key to helping you heal from abuse.
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).**
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: February 23rd, 2023
**BTGO welcomes Carol Reed (Instagram @carolareed), a LegalShield (@legalshield) representative, who talks about the extraordinary benefits of prepaid legal services and how they can be helpful (and save LOTS of money) for those of us spending thousands, some of us even millions, battling difficult people in family court. They even cover your kids until age 26!
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).**
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: February 14th, 2023
**BTGO welcomes back our friend, Canadian therapist, author, narcissistic abuse expert, and TikTok superstar, Marnie Grundman (Instagram @marniegrundman), who speaks about why certain kids growing up with a narcissistic parent refuse to talk, and how you can help them develop critical thinking skills, as well as a voice.
We also get into the concept of how to reconnect with kids, even if they are adults, who have been groomed to turn against a protective parent, and why it is so important to make sure your children are allowed to feel even the bad experiences.
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).**
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: February 7th, 2023
**BTGO welcomes NJ family law attorney, Katrina Xyloportas (Instagram @katrinaxylo), who discusses how the deficits in the court system right now affect us all, why settlement is a much better option if possible, and the two hats that a divorce attorney should wear as they handle your case.
Our book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” is now available!! Learn more and order here:**
https://BeenThereGotOut.com/book
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: January 17th, 2023
**BTGO welcomes NY family lawyer Kara Bellew (Instagram @bellewkara), a unicorn of a divorce attorney who is highly trained and very experienced in domestic violence. She talks about how to take ownership of your case, the ways trauma may interfere with moving forward in your divorce or separation, and why it's so important not to approach settlement out of sheer desperation, especially when dealing with a high-conflict ex.
Our book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” is now available!! Learn more and order here:**
https://BeenThereGotOut.com/book
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: January 12th, 2023
**BTGO welcomes back Ally Toyos, child survivor of a reunification camp and founder of the Instagram community @cjeyouthspeak, for part 2 of our interview. After sharing her incredible and nightmarish story in Part 1, Ally talks about the tricky nature of the label "parental alienation," including how it is often weaponized against protective parents in family court, and how reunification might be better handled for actual victims.
Our book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” is now available!! Learn more and order here:**
https://BeenThereGotOut.com/book
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: February 2nd, 2023
**BTGO welcomes Ally Toyos, child survivor of a reunification camp and founder of the Instagram community @cjeyouthspeak, for part 1 of our interview. Ally shares her beyond-nightmarish story of ten years of her and her sister's life being abused by a toxic parent and a system profiting off the misery of families already suffering deeply. Ally's is unfortunately a terrible example of what happens when the legal system truly messes up at every level.
We continue the discussion, moving on to the weaponization of the term “parental alienation,” in part 2 of the interview in our next episode.
Our book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” is now available!! Learn more and order here:**
https://BeenThereGotOut.com/book
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: January 10th, 2023
BTGO welcomes Washington state hypnotherapist Annie Alexander (Instagram: @northwesthypnosis) who speaks about how hypnosis can help eliminate triggers, combat gaslighting, and create a buffer to neutralize trauma, even if you are still experiencing it. She also gets into a number of the side benefits people experience from getting those "cats" out of their head.
Our book, “Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances” is now available!! Learn more and order here:
https://BeenThereGotOut.com/book
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: January 6th, 2023
BTGO welcomes NJ CPA Paul Mendelsohn (Instagram: @paulmendelsohn_cpa) who discusses red flags to watch for with an accountant during the divorce process, how you can handle the IRS if your ex files false information on tax returns, and a number of resources you can use to help you get through this!
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: January 31st, 2023
BTGO welcomes Canadian Alex Shaw (Instagram: @alexandria_m_c), who shares her incredible story of being trafficked and living with a gang (which saved her life!) to working with law enforcement and other services so that what happened to her won't happen to others. She also gets into what family members and friends can do to actually help loved ones in dangerous relationships.
Thanks so much to @bosslady.to for making this happen!
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: January 26th, 2023
BTGO welcomes author, musician, educator, and presence advocate, Gloria Williams (Instagram: @iamgloriawilliams), who discusses how to help kids build confidence through songwriting, the significance of building safe spaces and community, and tips on how to help your child conquer fear.
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: January 24th,2023
BTGO welcomes Minnesota family lawyer Cathy Jones (Instagram: @cat.jones.90), who talks about the important stuff you need to know to properly prepare for divorce, including some things to think about if you move out of the house, exactly why to be very careful with posting anything on social media (again!), and what to know about removing items from your home, both before and after a divorce is finalized.
Check out Cathy's “Second Saturday” Divorce Support Group to find out more info, as well as wife.org.
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: January 19th, 2023
BTGO welcomes back our friend and NY family lawyer and domestic violence attorney (as well as TikTok superstar), Stephanie (Instagram @steph_ny_law), who discusses what it really takes for a court to enforce orders, how to prepare before trying to get a restraining order, and why getting specific language in your custody order is so important.
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: December 8t, 2022
BTGO welcomes educator and child relationship expert Clarissa Constantine from Parent T(w)een Connection (Instagram @parentweenconnection), who speaks in depth about the foundations of connection to use to ensure that you are your child's safe space, what to do during emotional explosions, and why it's so important to give yourself the space to be human.
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: December 6th, 2022
BTGO welcomes forensic accountant and investigator Tracy Coenen (Instagram @divorcemoneyguide), who discusses how to tell if there's financial fraud in your marriage, why it's so important to do a cost/benefit analysis before hiring a forensic expert, and how to save yourself money during the discovery process.
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: December 1st, 2022
BTGO welcomes back Canadian author, survivor, trauma expert, therapist, and TikTok superstar Marnie Grundman (Instagram @marniegrundman), who talks about the awful and unfortunately common situation of your toxic ex aligning with your abusive parents during a court battle, how our childhood trauma reappears through triggers during legal abuse, and how we can learn to trust ourselves in the midst of it all.
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: November 8th, 2022
BTGO welcomes back therapist, author, narcissistic abuse expert, and our good friend Chelsey Brooke Cole (Instagram @chelseybrookecole), who talks about the way the narcissist's voice gets into your head, how you slowly lose yourself, and most importantly, how to get yourself back after ending the relationship!
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: December 12th, 2022
BTGO welcomes Michigan family lawyer and former investigator JayAttorney (Instagram @tipsdivorceattorney), who talks about financial fraud and shares her list of incredible ways to find your ex's HIDDEN ASSETS and protect yourself from financial abuse during your divorce.
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website, BeenThereGotOut.com, and sign up for a free discovery call, or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group.
Remember, if you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded: November 15th, 2022
BTGO welcomes NY psychologist, evaluator, and risk assessment expert Dr. Liz Stilwell (Instagram @drstilwell), who talks about the different types of evaluators used for custody, how a background in psychology may be helpful, and how and why professionals realistically handle claims of parental alienation.
The controversial topic of reunification therapy and reunification camps is part of this provocative interview as well.
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way,
Recorded - October 27th, 2022
BTGO welcomes California family lawyer Erin Levine (Instagram: @hellodivorce), who talks about some red flags that indicate a high-conflict divorce and ways to lower the conflict during the process, including some answers to questions from our live audience.
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website BeenThereGotOut.com and sign up for a free Discovery call (click the top red button on the homepage), and/or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group (bottom blue button).
If you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded Date 10/18/2022
In this episode, BTGO welcomes back our good friend, Dawn Brauer (Instagram @securebabies), an expert on child development, who talks about what you can do when your toxic ex is trying to alienate your children and how feeling frazzled is a signal that something needs to be healed, and walks us through her “S.E.C.U.R.E.” acronym by explaining exactly how we can help our kids be as happy and healthy as possible throughout their lives.
Check out Dawn’s brand new Tummy Time support group for parents of infants! @littlebeanhousecafe_
Need help with your own situation? Go to our website, BeenThereGotOut.com, and sign up for a free discovery call, or check out our weekly Legal Abuse Support Group.
Remember, if you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded on September 6th, 2022
In this episode of the Been There Got Out Podcast, we welcome back New Jersey psychologist and custody evaluator Dr. Mark Singer (Instagram @drmarksinger) who speaks about what parental alienation actually means - that it's not a syndrome, but a series of behaviors - ways a parent may be encouraging a child to reject another parent, and what you can do if you are being rejected by your child, among other things!
Remember, if you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded October 12, 2022
BTGO welcomes New Jersey custody evaluator, Dr. Mark Singer (Instagram @drmarksinger), who discusses the importance of cultural knowledge and comfort when choosing an evaluator, how to best prepare for the process, and how courts are not meant to raise your children.
This is just Part I of the conversation, and Part II will involve how to deal with parental alienation behaviors if one parent is trying to turn the child against the other.
Remember, if you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded September 8th, 2022.
In this episode, BTGO welcomes California attorney, Dr. Jude Egan (Instagram @jude_should_be_writing), who talks about why the job of children's advocates - like minors' counsels or attorneys for the children, is so tricky; how lowering legal fees benefits both lawyers and clients; some pros and cons of “unbundled services;” and how his own personal loss in court was a big win in expanding the legal ramifications of coercive control in California!
Remember, if you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded July 5th, 2022
In this episode of the Been There Got Out Podcast, we welcome our friend, fellow coach, and author, Michelle (Instagram @the_pistolwhip_hippie), who talks about some of the unique problems people face when viewing family court and its authority figures as a place for validation, how what looks like punishment might be a positive opportunity, and especially how to help your children cope with a toxic parent by healing yourself first.
Remember, if you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded 7/28/22
In this episode of the Been There Got Out Podcast, which gets pretty intense, we welcome our friend Katie (Instagram @kwg19). 20 years after escaping with her children to a women's shelter, she reflects back on getting help where she least expected it, the horror of family court, and the long-term effects of her experience on herself and her children.
Remember, if you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded October 12th, 2021
On this episode of the Been There Got Out Podcast, we welcome retired judge and family lawyer Anthony Bompiani (TikTok @anthonybompiani) for more reality checks and wisdom on how to handle our children being forced to go with a toxic parent, being under the microscope of family court, self-validation, what to ask before hiring an attorney, vexatious litigation, his answer to family court reform, and other questions straight from our audience.
Be sure to check out his latest webinar, programs, and merch which you can find under the link in his bio on Tik Tok!
Remember, if you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded August 17th, 2021
On this episode of the Been There Got Out Podcast, we welcome superstar coach, author, and podcaster Matt Phifer (Instagram @mattphifercoaching), who talks about trauma bonding and its impact on making a separation or divorce much more difficult, why knowing your rights is IMPERATIVE, and why it's essential to cut all ties other than with the kids during the court process.
Remember, if you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded August 4th, 2022
In this episode of the Been There Got Out Podcast, we welcome back our great friend, Dr. Barb Hughson (Instagram @drbarbh), a professional mediator and therapist with a strong background in child psychology, decades of experience, and unrivaled EMPATHY.
We talk about how to prepare for mediation, make it as successful as possible when dealing with a high conflict personality, ways to avoid future litigation, and a unique concept where a child's voice can be heard and included.
Remember, if you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded June 6th, 2022
In this episode of the Been There Got Out Podcast, we welcome the host of the Slam the Gavel podcast, Maryann Petri.
After years of peacefully co-parenting, Maryann suddenly found herself fending off allegations of child abuse by her ex-husband and his new wife (who also worked at the courthouse). The experience caused severe physical, emotional, and financial damage. Forced to go pro se, Maryann appealed in superior court and achieved a victory that proved to be life-saving.
Remember, if you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded May 14th, 2021
In this episode of the Been There Got Out Podcast, we welcome California Family Law Attorney Brian Pakpour (TikTok @brithefamilyguy), who talks about realistic expectations in divorce agreements with a high-conflict partner, the nitty-gritty details that should be included in parenting plans, and then, for the first time publicly, shares an emotional, personal story from his own life as a child of divorce.
Remember, if you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded January 26th, 2022
In this episode of the Been There Got Out Podcast, we welcome back Steve the Bodyguard (Instagram @protectionfromabuse @thebodyguard.official), who offers a wealth of information about the nature of STALKING, why restraining orders actually are more than just a piece of paper, and the importance of a weapon to protect yourself if you are in an abusive relationship (and what the best option is and why), plus much, much more!
You can call his FREE National Domestic Violence safety chat line for more information at 833-657-7683.
Remember, if you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded June 6th, 2022
In this episode of the Been There Got Out Podcast, we welcome our new friend, Coach Chris Jackson (Instagram @the_kineticlife_coach), an adult child of a narcissistic father, who managed to stop the cycle of intergenerational trauma, put his energy into sports resulting in a career as a professional football player, and then become a successful entrepreneur helping others realize their dreams.
We talk about the effects on children growing up in a toxic family, why it's important to express anger, the ladder of liberation, and how to move forward in life once you're out of the muck.
Remember, if you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody
battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD
YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance
based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the
other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded July 21, 2022
In this episode of the Been There Got Out Podcast, we welcome back our friend, narcissistic abuse expert, coach, and best-selling author Tracy Malone (Instagram @tracyamalone), who talks about her new book, “Divorcing Your Narcissist: You Can't Make This Sh*t Up.”
We also discuss what Tracy calls the “three-bucket strategy” of telling people about your divorce, the importance of parenting plans, and how to deal with lies, smear campaigns, and false allegations, both in and out of court!
Remember, if you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody
battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD
YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance
based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the
other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded May 24th, 2022
In this episode of the Been There Got Out Podcast, we welcome therapist and addiction specialist Rebecca Ishida (Instagram @rebecca_ishida), who gets into lying by omission and why gaslighting is so devastating, why people defend abusers, and the nature of living a double life.
Remember, if you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody
battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD
YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance
based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the
other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded February 17th, 2022
In this episode, the Been There Got Out Podcast welcomes back our friend, psychotherapist, author, and narcissistic abuse expert Chelsey Brooke Cole (Instagram @chelseybrookecole).
We get into the various ways narcissists use social media to get what they want, through four specific types of posts and smear campaigns. We also talk about how they specifically use it during a high conflict divorce or custody battle, and what you can do to recognize this insidious type of behavior.
Remember, if you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
BTGO welcomes Chicagoland Family Law Attorney Raiford Palmer (Instagram @raifordpalmer), author of “I Just Want This Done: How Smart, Successful People Get Divorced Without Losing Their Kids, Money, and Minds,” which is on our “Mount Rushmore” of books.
Raiford gets into the myths versus the realities of family court and what you can do to "get more divorced." He also discusses why it's so important to do a cost-benefit analysis, and what would help make the process more efficient.
Remember, if you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody
battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD
YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance
based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the
other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded February 3rd, 2022
In this episode of the Been There Got Out Podcast, Lisa and Chris welcome back Canadian family law attorney David Morneau (Instagram @dmorneaulaw) and warrior woman Angie (Instagram @bosslady.to) for the second in our series, “The Client as Consumer.”
We discuss ways we can start taking our power back in family court, and why your lawyer should not be viewed as the "knight in shining armor" who is going to "save" you.
Remember, if you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody
battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD
YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance
based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the
other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded January 27th, 2022
In this episode, the Been There Got Out Podcast welcomes our friend and attachment expert Dawn Brauer (Instagram @securebabies) for a talk about how to create a strong bond with our children from infancy, how to raise secure, resilient children, and how to handle those times when that bond is really tested, especially when dealing with the effects of a toxic co-parent.
Remember, if you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody
battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD
YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance
based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the
other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded November 9th, 2021
In this episode of the Been There Got Out Podcast, we welcome back our friend, Canadian attorney, Sean Valentine (Instagram @seancory42) who gets into some of the consequences of sharing one's story on social media during an active case, surreptitious recordings, gag orders, and why domestic abuse victims should not necessarily be terrified of sharing their stories after the high-profile Johnny Depp Amber Heard case.
Remember, if you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody
battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD
YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance
based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the
other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded June 16th, 2022
In this episode of the Been There Got Out podcast, we welcome Lielle Arad (Instagram @lawsuitsme), a successful pro se (self-represented litigant), for a lively discussion about why the truth has become so expensive, how the opposing sides' lies can benefit you, and other tips for managing your own case, even if you have an attorney!
Remember, if you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody
battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD
YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance
based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the
other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded February 1st, 2022
In this episode, we continue our longest-ever interview with Canadian GOLD STANDARD family law attorney David Morneau and super-client / warrior woman Angie in what turned out to be the first in our series, “I Wish I Knew Then What I Know Now: The Client As Consumer”
We pick up the conversation where we left off in the last episode. David is talking about how we can improve our systems. That's something we need to do, but the biggest thing YOU can do to reform the system is to win your case!
Do YOU want to change the system?
Then start by TAKING YOUR POWER BACK, arming yourself with an EDUCATION, and WINNING your case!
Remember, if you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody
battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD
YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance
based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the
other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded September 30th, 2021
BTGO welcomes Canadian GOLD STANDARD family law attorney David Morneau (Instagram @dmorneaulaw) and expert client/warrior woman Angie (Instagram @bosslady.to) in the first of our series, “I Wish I Knew Then What I Know Now: The Client As Consumer”
Do YOU want to change the system?
Then start by TAKING YOUR POWER BACK, arming yourself with an EDUCATION, and WINNING your case!
In part 1, we get into why your CHOICE OF AN ATTORNEY makes a HUGE DIFFERENCE in your case, as well as in your LIFE, and how important it is for you to have OVERSIGHT of your case.
Remember, if you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody
battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD
YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance
based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the
other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded September 30th, 2021
BTGO welcomes NY family law attorney Dennis Vetrano (Instagram & TikTok @drvlaw) who gives it to you straight! We discuss catastrophic wastes of money, how to avoid spending way more than you have to on your divorce attorney, why it's so important to be first to meet with professionals involved with your case, and much more!
Remember, if you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody
battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD
YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance
based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the
other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded January 20th, 2022
BTGO welcomes back Christine Cocchiola (Instagram @coercivecontrolisipv) for an enlightening and emotional interview, starting with a letter from an abusive parent to a child, and getting into how our children are affected by the dynamic in a psychologically abusive home.
Christine also talks about specific ways to handle when a child or teenager comes back from visiting the other parent, as well as what to do when kids act abusively towards you, and lots more!
Remember, if you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.
Recorded January 18th, 2022
BTGO welcomes back our friend and colleague, Dr. Barb Hughson, for an interview that’s PACKED with amazing information from a unique expert - a mediator and therapist with decades of experience and exceptional EMPATHY. (Recorded 1/13/22)
BTGO welcomes back the AMAZING Stephanie (Instagram @steph_ny_law) who talks about some important myths regarding Family Court expectations, why electing judges is more important than you think, and how to build a more credible case.
Remember, if you are struggling in a high-conflict relationship, divorce, custody battle, or co-parenting hell which requires PERSONALIZED attention, let us HOLD YOUR HAND along the way, while providing EXPERT, STRATEGIC guidance based on one's years of success (representing myself in court!), coupled with the other's High Conflict Divorce Coach certification.