Black Boy Lessons: Recent Episodes
Black Boy Lessons - Beams.fm
minute’ish lessons from a black boy navigating hollywood, dating and beyond.
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today's my dad's birthday and typically this day is really hard for me. I'll explain. Welcome back to black boy lessons with CAM. So I think this is my first time discussing this on this platform, but a couple of years ago, um, I lost my dad to suicide. And many of you know that I really stressed the importance of mental health awareness, not just because of my dad's story, but because it is a reality of so many people. So when you layer just the internal battles and challenges that many of us go through with everything going on in the world from the recent shootings, two people still experiencing heartache due to covid and so much more it can be a lot. So I want to just share a couple of tips to coping with stressful life and world events that I recently discovered and that is minimizing your time on social media, doing things that are stress reductions such as working out, getting active. Just anything that's going to boost your energy seeking professional help, drinking water resting and so much more but sending you guys love
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this is your reminder to keep going. Welcome back to black boy lessons with cam. So I had a really incredible conversation last night with a friend of mine. He also works in the industry and we got to talking about fatigue. We got to talking about how especially as young black men, how everyday sometimes can be really exhausting. And when you're chasing your dreams, when you're pursuing a goal, when you're striving for something that your heart desires so deeply it can get really, really exhausting and because it's so important to make sure that you're checking in with yourself and checking in with your body. You have to make sure that you are taking breaks. You have to make sure that you are resting. You have to give yourself grace to be able to say, you know what today is not gonna be that day. Today is gonna be a day. I just chill and do nothing. Those days are so important and they're so vital for your success. But if you are currently somebody who is still in that resting period and you feel yourself getting stuck, let this be your reminder to get up and to keep going. The journey ahead is still a long one and you have made so much progress on your journey. Do not give up. Now let's get it and let's go another lesson of a black boy
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Okay, y'all. So I'm no music critic and this is not a music review podcast, but I have to talk about Kendrick. Lamar's latest album, Mr Morale and the Big Steppers because it is so remarkable. Let's dive right in. This is black boy lessons with cam. So, y'all the album came out on May 13th 2022 it is black boy lessons at the highest degree on this album. Kendrick talks about a lot of his experiences growing up as a black boy in this country. He talks about the experience of black people in general and so much more. And the way that this artist, the way that this genius is able to tell some of these stories is just really next level. He did it. So raw, so authentic, so unapologetic, so unfiltered. It really is what storytelling on some of these albums and storytelling through music is supposed to be. And it just moved me so much. Some of my favorite tracks are We Cried Together, Mother, I sober United and Grieve. The track about fathers. But the one that really moved me that had me crying my eyes out is Auntie Diaries. On this track, Y'all, Kendrick, a respected hip hop rap artists, went somewhere that I ain't never seen a rapper go. And he talked about the love he has for two trans people in his family who have had an impact on him and y'all. It is so good. So if you have not, please go check out this man's album. It's a game changer
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Alright, everybody keep calm. This is not a drill. Mercury is officially back in retro. Great, Let's talk about it. This is black boy lessons with cam, Alright, y'all. So, for those who aren't aware of what Mercury being in retrograde even means it happens about three times a year and per astrologers, it's something where, like Mercury looks like it's going backwards on its axis and apparently supposed to throw off everything. Technology moves energies, all that type of stuff. I don't know about that. But what I do know is that things always seem to be going a little weird when Mercury is in retrograde. I'm talking everything from your cell phones, I'm talking to your energy, I'm talking about, you know, just your mood, it's just so much, it seems to be off and it's normally not the best period. So for me, I like to know when Mercury is in retrograde, because I need to make sure that I'm not going crazy and I know that. Okay, it's just Mercury being a retrograde. Yeah, yeah, So the lesson is, y'all take it easy, be kind to yourself, don't throw your cellphone if it acts up a little bit, just blame it all on Mercury being in retrograde. If your man don't text back, blame it on Mercury being in retrograde. If you you, you didn't get that promotion that you've been hoping for, just blame it on Mercury being in retrograde, you are amazing, you are a star, blame Mercury the planet. Another lesson of a black boy
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today's episode is dedicated to all of the amazing, fierce and bad a women all over the world. Welcome back to Black boy lessons with cam. So yesterday was Mother's Day and I want to take a quick moment to shout out my incredible mother and my grandmother's and really all of the amazing mothers around the world. Rather you are nursing Children rather you have taking on the responsibility of mothering someone else's Children. You all are incredible. And I want to give you all of your flowers. Thank you, thank you. Thank you. Also, there has been lots of conversations surrounding women and their bodies and I just want to take a moment to say men, If you're listening to this set that conversation out, this is not a conversation for men to be governing women's bodies. This is not a moment for politics, not a moment for legislation, their bodies, their choice heavy on the period I wanted today's Black Boy lesson to be dedicated to women because when I think about the reason that I am here today, when I think about everything that I have gone through, it was women who got me through so much. So it wouldn't have felt right coming off of Mother's Day and all the reflecting that I've had on my mom and the women in my life. If I did not just take a moment to say, yo a lot of the lessons I have learned have come from women, women, women women. So if you are a woman and you are listening to this, I want you to know you are incredible. You deserve the world period.
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anybody else want the best for themselves in every area, shape and place in their lives Yeah, me too. Welcome back to Black boy lessons with cam so fam it is a new month which means it is a new opportunity to check in with yourselves and one thing that I have been reminding myself is that I deserve the best, I deserve the best food I deserve, the best restaurants, experiences, I deserve to go to the best places I deserve to wear the best clothes because I deserve it and guess what, you deserve it too. So often we allow life and we allow people to distract us from the better things in life and we let people get in our heads and tell us that we are lesser than or that we don't deserve but we do y'all, it is okay to live your best life or to aspire to live your best life to get up every day and give everything you do your best, get up every day and experience and want the best, the best friendships, the best relationships, the best in every aspect of your life. If there's a project that you want to work on, then you go after that project because you deserve it. That is the best project for you right now and you have to give it your best to be able to work on that project. So I don't want to come off too preachy preachy but it's mental health awareness month and it's so important that we are reminding ourselves of our greatness and how we are the best. Another lesson of a black boy.
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this may be shocking to some young people, but good mentorship is not 50 50 let's talk about it, this is black boy lessons with CAM So when you're coming up in the industry and you're looking for advice or you're seeking professional mentorship, young people understand or actually or old people because you know mentorship has no age to it understand that sometimes it does not look like a 50 50 exchange for me. When I am working with Mentees, I always tell them I want to see you do the work. When you come to me seeking mentorship, I want to know that you have done your research, you have really made sure that you have fully prepared yourself to receive any advice, any guidance, any tips, any tools, any direction, any connections that I may give you. So if you are someone seeking mentorship in someone else understand it is not a you come and the person just gives you all this information just completely just rolled out the red carpet for you, show us you care, show us your passion, show us that you take the mentorship seriously and I promise you the relationship will be 100 times better and you'll get so much more out of it. So just know if you're gonna come come correct, but this could just be another lesson of a black boy
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in the school we learn lessons that prepare us for test in life, we are tested and those tests teaches valuable lessons. Let's talk about it. This is Black boy lessons with cam. So I came across these words on a social media post the other day and it really set out to me and it really made me sit with what it meant from pre K to college. We take courses where we learn lesson after lesson and those lessons prepare us for test after test. But in life were actually tested and those tests are what teaches valuable valuable lessons. So the reason why is today's black boy lesson is because it's so important. Rather it be a good or a bad experience, a good or a bad test. There is always something that we can learn from every experience. So I hope that everybody is giving yourself grace giving yourself time to process these different tests. Because if you are missing the lesson then you are missing the point. Make sure that as you navigate through life, you understand that this is what it means to grow, this is what it means to learn and this is what it means to be. But hey this all could be another lesson of a black boy
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So question do you guys speak to people in public who you know, don't really like you just for the sake of being cordial, let's talk about it. This is black boy lessons with cam. So y'all, I'm not talking about being at a packed party and running across the room to say hi, I'm not talking about being at the park and you break your neck to be able to get that wave in or you running up on somebody in the mall I'm talking about in like private settings. So you're hanging out with some friends, it's only a couple of y'all and this person just happens to walk in or be there. Do you say hi or do you not? Do you spark up a conversation or do you completely just give this person a cold shoulder and pretend that they are not there. I think it's important for this to be today's black boy lesson and for us unpack because really in whatever social setting you are in, you need to know your triggers, you need to know how you're gonna maneuver and how you're going to navigate in certain situations like I hate walking in the door. Do you say hi, Do you do the Michelle Obama when they go high, you go low or you go low when they go high, You know what I'm talking about? You need to know what you're gonna do because at the end of the day you are in control of your actions and you need to understand that in these spaces, The way people move can get were real, real, real, real, real, real weird. And you need to be able to know how you're going to navigate or whatever. So y'all let me know. Are you the type of person that will speak just for the sake of speaking? Or are you the type of person that will keep it moving? Let me know another lesson of a black boy.
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Okay, y'all. So let's talk talk. Sometimes you have to protect your peace over trying to prove your point. I'll explain. Welcome back to Black boy lessons with Kam. So y'all Okay, We've all had situations where somebody either is saying something about you that is untrue or someone has a false perception of who you are or somebody really just aren't understanding something that you are trying to share, explain, put on display. Rather it is your creativity, your, your pitch, your idea, your business, whatever y'all. If it is going to cost you your peace, then sometimes it is not even worth proving your point. Today's Black Boy lesson is important because we have to be mindful of what we give energy and power to. If something just ain't really what it is, then sometimes you just have to let it be what it is not and let that person just rock with whatever they believe because at the core of it all, when you know you then you don't need to necessarily respond or react to every single thing that you hear about you that is not true. Now, this is not easy y'all. I will be the first person to tell you. I struggle with this all the time. But recently I had a situation happened, I was like, you know what? I'm going to protect my piece over proving my point and there was so much power in that, but this may just be another lesson of a black boy
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Hey, what's up everybody? So I'm headed to the beach and had a thought it's okay to grieve while also being in the process of being grateful. But let's talk about it. Welcome back to black boy lessons with cam. So yeah, you know, have you ever gone through something super traumatic with a lot of emotions and it's very hard and you want to grieve either rather it be like the loss of a loved one or end of a relationship or you know, whatever you may be grieving, it's okay sometimes also be grateful for that experience. Also in that moment like those the tears that you got don't necessarily have to all be sad. Some of it can be, you know good. But it's just something that I was kind of thinking about because you know, I've had some things happen in my life recently that are very, very sad and I definitely feel like that I'm grieving it. But I'm also grateful for the experiences because I feel myself growing and I feel myself being stronger. So I think there's a lesson in that it's a lesson in being able to not be okay but also being able to tell yourself that things will be okay all within the same thought, all within the same experience. So if that is you or if you are going through something and you feel yourself grieving, just remember that it's okay to to feel like that but just know you should be grateful for the experience because they're just making you better and it's making you stronger. But this could just be another lesson of a black boy in the back of hoover. Talk to you soon, Bye!
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Hey, what's up? Y'all quick tip, what is meant for you is meant for you. Welcome back to black boy lessons with cam So I've been rereading the book, the Alchemist and for anyone who has not read it, the book basically, it's all about a journey and it's all about seeing your dreams come to life and how the universe will transpire and will do everything in its power to be able to see your dreams come to life if that dream is intended for you and it's been making me think a lot about different areas of my life, everything from dating, business, relationships, friendships, etcetera. If you are not meant to be with somebody, you're just not meant to be with them, you gotta be able to let go and let God or we all have had um say a job opportunity and we really, really thought we were great for the role, we felt like it was the perfect position for us, but we don't get it and that is super hard for us to accept. But what is important is that we remember what is for us is meant for us. That is the lesson. So show yourselves some grace just every day, get up, give whatever it is, you're all rather it be a relationship, try do your part or it's a job you really want or it's a project or it could be even just a conversation you want to have if you're meant to have that conversation, you're going to have that conversation if you're meant for that job, you're going to have it, but what is for you is for you, but hey, this could just be another lesson of a black boy, Hey, what's up? Y'all? Quick tip, what is meant for you is meant for you. Welcome back to black boy lessons with cam. So I've been rereading the book, the Alchemist and for anyone who has not read it, the book, basically, it's all about a journey and it's all about seeing your dreams come to life and how the universe will transpire and will do everything in its power to be able to see your dreams come to life if that dream is intended for you and it's been making me think a lot about different areas of my life, everything from dating, business relationships, friendships, etcetera. If you are not meant to be with somebody, you're just not meant to be with them, you've got to be able to let go and let God or we all have had um say a job opportunity and we really, really thought we were great for the role, we felt like it was the perfect position for us, but we don't get it and that is super hard for us to accept. But what is important is that we remember what is for us is meant for us, that is the lesson. So show yourselves some grace just every day, get up, give whatever it is, you're all rather it be a relationship, try do your part or it's a job you really want or it's a project or it could be even just a conversation you want to have. If you're meant to have that conversation, you're going to have that conversation. If you're meant for that job, you're going to have it. But what is for you is for you, But hey, this could just be another lesson of a black boy.
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the feeling of heaviness. What is it, what does it mean and how can you overcome? Let's talk about it. Welcome back to black boy lessons with cam. So lately I've been feeling a heaviness in my life and I don't know the source. I'm not tired, I'm not depressed. I'm not sad. I'm not even stressed out. Things for the most part seem to be going pretty okay and I think I have a good grasp on my emotions. But one feeling that I have not been able to really process is the feeling of heaviness. Is this something that anyone listening can relate to? If so, please comment and share your experience because I would love to know what you all have done to be able to overcome. The way that I can describe the feeling is it's almost as if there's a weight on your chest or there's a weight on your shoulders or despite tackling your goals for the day or despite doing everything you're supposed to do. There just seems like there's something looming that you need to deal with or there's something about to happen. It's a very weird feeling. But I wanted to talk about it because again, I think it's important for us to identify these, these feelings. But hey, this might just be another lesson of a black boy
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So what are some of your favorite places to be in order to tap into your ultimate creativity for me? I love writing on airplanes because I'm a lot more focused or anywhere near water. My creativity is just through the roof. But let's unpack. Welcome back to today's black boy lesson with cam. So it's so important to know where you can go in order to be focus and be your best self when it comes to creativity. I remember when we used to have to work in the office pre pandemic. Sometimes you would be in these creative brainstorms with other colleagues and everybody's pitching ideas and everybody's throwing things out there. Sometimes I feel like I would be on, but other times I would be so distracted. I'm like, yo I cannot think right now, I'm going to have to remove myself in the brainstorm flushing some stuff out on my own and then come back to y'all. But you have to understand like everybody's creativity comes to them in different times, in different moments and in different spaces. So if you are somebody who really loves being isolated, so you can properly think, then make sure you have that space where you can go to some people I know will go sit at a part in order to write or to think or to do this or to do that other people love just going out and going to a museum and being inspired or letting life kind of um bring their creativity to its its full potential. But whatever it is, it's just so important for you for you to identify that seriously. Yeah, but this is just another lesson of a black boy.
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So today I want to talk about the power of discretion. Welcome back to Black boy lessons with cam. So discretion has been popping up in my life pretty frequently over the past couple of weeks and I think it's about time that I take a step back and I really process the why of it all for those who don't know discretion can be that thought in the back of your head while you are having a really intense conversation with somebody and there's a lot that you really, really want to say. But you know, you really, really can't say it. So you have to do what? Use some discretion during the conversation. But even on a professional tip it can be, hey, I just got this really, really amazing opportunity, but there's some things I really need to think through the budget ain't hidin. Like it's supposed to hit the benefits etcetera, whatever it is that is you using discretion. And the reason why I think it's important for us to talk about today. And the reason why I think it's important to be today's Black boy lesson is because sometimes y'all, we can be out here living our best lives but not using enough discretion and not using discretion can have some really big impacts in your life on a negative tip. You know, like I said earlier, it could be something as small as like giving the wrong person your number and now you have a whole stalker on your hands or it could be like just saying yes to any opportunity, saying yes to anything somebody throughout you and now you're overwhelmed. You feel like you said yes to something that your heart's not in whatever. But y'all, please just start using a lot more discretion because your life will be a lot more purpose driven. And I feel like you have a lot more clarity into what you are doing when you are doing it. But hey, this is just another lesson of a black boy.
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if you can hear my voice right now, this is a reminder to celebrate yourself. Welcome back to black boy lessons with cam. So today I announced on my social media, a new campaign that I worked on and it felt so good to be able to share this content with the world and to see so many people be proud of me and to see so many people show me love and just really kind of celebrate me was a really, really great feeling but the best feeling of today was me taking time to celebrate myself for so many years. I seek validation in success in awards and trophies and so many of the wrong areas that I kind of lost track on my, why I forgot what I was doing it for. So when I think about my work as a creative and I think about my work as a storyteller today reminded me that this is about being proud of myself. I was able to take an idea from my head, put it to paper execute on it and to be able to share that with the world and to me that is really remarkable. So whatever it is that you're going through today, just take a moment and just be proud of yourself. If you're in school, be proud that you're still going, if you're a single mother holding it down, be proud of yourself, whatever, just keep going, take a deep breath and just know you're doing it just another lesson of a black boy congrats everybody
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in life. There are two choices. You either barbecue or yeah, mildew, I'll explain. Welcome back to black boy lessons with cam. So my father used to say this to me and my brothers all the time and y'all, he was not talking about going to the backyard and grilling up some protein on a grill. What he's talking about is, what are you going to do with today? What are you going to do with your life? How are you going to take gifts or take something that God has given you and flip it into something better? Are you going to sit back and watch something become mildew? Are you going to sit back and watch something decay? Are you going to sit in a depressive state? Are you going to continue to allow yourself to become so toxic that you just become that block of cheese sitting in the back of the refrigerator. So you guys can understand why this is so important to really wrap your head around, are you gonna barbecue? You're gonna mildew? Are you going to, you know, go after the things that are important to you or are you not the choice is yours? So the reason why this is today's black boy lesson is I was on a call earlier today with my best friend and she said this to me and I was so shocked that it came out of her mouth because The only other person in my entire life I've ever heard say this was my dad and unfortunately in 2019 my dad um transitioned into another life. So I just felt like it was my dad speaking to me today, and I want to share with all of you and hopes that it will help to motivate and navigate any situations that you all are going through. Are you going to barbecue or are you gonna mildew another lesson of a black boy?
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Roughly 15 million adults suffer from social anxiety disorder and I unfortunately am one of those adults. this is black boy lessons with cam social anxiety disorder can be a lot of different things, it can be fear of being assertive during conversations, it could be anxiety that you experience in certain social settings, different rooms that you are in, it can kind of show up in a lot of different ways and for young people, we don't allow ourselves to kind of tap in with our emotions when certain traumatic experiences happen in social settings. For me this past summer, it really came to a alarming level when I would try to go out, I would try to be social, but I noticed that like something just always felt off and I was starting to get very anxious and I was kind of starting to have micro panic attacks to the point where I had to seek help. So I started to talk a lot about my experiences with my therapist and with the conversations that she and I had had, we came to the conclusion that I struggled from social anxiety disorder and I really think a lot more young people suffer from it as well, but they don't know how to acknowledge it, they don't know what to look for. So, my lesson that I want for people to take away from this episode is it is so important to protect your mind and to listen to your body when the universe is trying to tell you that something is off, most likely it is
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Alright. So is it just me or is dating right now? A bigger struggle and challenge than ever before. Yes, you're listening. Okay great. Let's talk about it. Welcome back to black boy lessons with cam. Alright y'all. So I live in L. A. I moved here a couple months before the pandemic from new york city. So I get asked the question all the time, which city do I prefer to date in new york or L. A. And my response is new york y'all. I had so much fun when I was dating in new york. I was living my best black gay life all up and down the new york streets from Brooklyn to queens to Manhattan to Staten Island. I was having a good time. I feel like new york just offered a different way of life. I feel like the people just moved and and navigated dating just differently. People were a lot more grounded. They care a lot more about getting to know you. They were a lot more creative and clever when it came to coming up with date ideas and I just think that that kind of warranted just much deeper connections than I feel like I have experienced out here in L. A. And it doesn't matter how many times someone out here in L. A. Tries to convince you. They do not care about what you do who you are or how many figures you have for whatever reason people just do and I do not understand it. People also just don't really think outside of the box and I feel like people want to do a lot of the same here in L. A. And Iceland. Get it, But this is just another lesson of a black boy.
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are you somebody who has always been told that you should just be good at one thing and you should focus only on that one thing, if that is you, I think I have a tip for you during this episode, Welcome back to black boy lessons with cam so the biggest lesson that I have learned while navigating my career is knowing a little about a lot has helped me so much and I think it is so much more important than just knowing a lot about a little. Some people will try to put you in a box and they will discourage you to learn new things. But for some people that is not enough if you work in the industry and that industry has all of these other elements and all of these different parts that other people have to be able to show up in and to perform, you might want to know what their jobs entail and how their jobs are done. I am a filmmaker, a director, a producer, a shooter, and editor, a model, a writer and on air host etcetera and yes, I actually do genuinely love all of those things, but for me my ultimate goal is owning a production company. So I just feel like if you're going to one day own a business, you need to know how that business operates in every position in every role or like I said earlier, just a little bit. So if you really want to get yourself ahead in the field, start learning the role of the other positions in your peers because this will just help you be the best, and this will also help you be just even better of a team member. You'll know what everybody really wants and everybody needs. But this is just another lesson of a black boy.
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anybody else tired of living through major historical event after major historical event because I am like if y'all over there in europe, don't go sit down somewhere and practice peace, stressing us all out and americans, you're not too much better. Y'all know, y'all stay stressing me out too. But that's another topic. Welcome back everybody to black boy lessons with cam on today's episode. I just want to check in with everybody like how are y'all feeling? How are y'all doing? Are you protecting your peace? We are in very unprecedented times right now. So we need to make sure that we are checking in on our sanity and in on our mental health, which brings me to today's Black boy lesson Life burned out. So I'm a Virgo, naturally, I am a perfectionist. I am an overachiever and I am always in my head. So you pair those three things with just trying to survive in this world while in a pandemic, while on the brink of a war, while trying to just navigate my personal life and professional career and then you got me. Yeah, I'm tired. Coach take me out. But one thing that I've learned in therapy, y'all is that it is perfectly okay to not be okay, but what is not okay is us not doing anything about it. It is our responsibility to get our minds to a healthy place and note self care looks different for everybody. For some people, it is going on a daily walk. For others, it may be taking a vacation. Sleeping, punching a wall making out with a stranger, whatever. As long as you feel good and replenish afterwards. That's what you should be doing. But this is just another lesson of a black boy.
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what's good everybody welcome back to Black boy lessons with cam so yesterday's date with 2 20 to 22 february 22nd 2000 and 22 on a Tuesday a very powerful date so lots of people spent yesterday doing things like praying, manifesting, realigning goals etcetera etcetera. And I was definitely one of those people but for me something just felt a little off or whatever and not in a bad way just in a way that I couldn't really pinpoint. So before bed I decided to step out on my balcony for some fresh air but I saw something that I could not stop thinking about. It was a fire that I could see from my Cape Town apartment that was burning in downtown L. A. Now we all know that fires happened every day and I really pray that nobody got hurt but for me like watching from afar it just made me really think about something that it just happened a week ago. So last week at a birthday party under a full moon, full moon, very important the B day boy had us write down our intentions and then throw them into a bonfire so like released them into the universe to manifest which I love that. So as I watched the planes from the downtown fire last night it made me think about some of the intentions I had just made a week ago but had already forgot and have not been actively working towards. So here is the Black boy lesson fires only burned while they have a source keeping them lit, we all have fires inside of us, but it is up to us to feed them every day, just within a week, I had already let life distract me from promises I made to myself. I can't do that, we have to keep our lights lit and you have to do the same thing. But this is just another lesson of a black boy.
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Hey, what's up? Y'all it is cam and this is black boy lessons. But before we dive into the series, I want to give you all a little context into me. So I'm a black queer boy from Kansas, living in Los Angeles by way of new york city and I've learned a lot upon my journey as a millennial, Everything from this country wanted me to believe that being black is a setback to dating while trying to pursue a career in entertainment in Hollywood is damn near impossible. And y'all, we won't even try to even get into what it means to be a social influencer. But yeah, I know for some of y'all this may all sound foreign, but for me it's very much my reality. So on this series, black boy lessons, I'll be sharing different lessons I've learned about the world. You'll hear my thoughts on black news, I'll give you some professional advice and even a few or a lot of my personal experiences. So make sure you guys like comment and subscribe and we will definitely get into some things now before I go, I want to leave you all with lesson number one, which is, remember to give yourself some love today, it's Black history month. So if you're black, remember how far people have come for you to just be here. If you're listening to the sound that is a gift alone and that is worthy of a celebration. So stop what you're doing. Take a deep breath and tell yourself how much you love you. Just another lesson of a black boy. I love y'all cam.
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