Mormon Mixed Faith Marriage Podcast: Recent Episodes
Brooke Booth
Strategies, tips, tools and stories to help you create a great LDS (Mormon) mixed faith marriages with certified life coach Brooke Booth.
In this month's mixed faith marriage panel discussion we talk about parenting.
As always we share our own wins and failures as well as the following:
-What are the pros and cons of being on the same page in parenting?
-How to deal with different parenting approaches to church activities, family prayer, and alcohol?
-How to manage when a child does not follow your faith footsteps?
-Tips on talking to your kids about the mixed faith marriage and faith transition.
If you need more help in your mixed faith marriage check out my full length on line course at BrookeBoothCoaching.com.
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In this episode I explore dismissing, deflection and gaslighting. I find it helpful to explain these terms so we can have awareness and see them in our own relationship. Sometimes we engage in this behavior without realizing what we are doing! The more we can understand and educate ourselves the better choices we can make in our relationships.
I also give some suggestions on how to deal with these three things if they are in your mixed faith marriage.
As always you can find help for your mixed faith marriage at BrookeBoothCoaching.com.
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When big things happen like a faith transition or a mixed faith marriage it's not uncommon to find yourself or your spouse on a pendulum. The pendulum swing is often what is needed in order to find center and homeostasis.
In this podcast I talk about one type of pendulum swing I see in a LDS mixed faith marriage - where we become too demanding on one side and then too permissive on the other.
I call the too demanding version a vending machine marriage. Listen to learn more.
Want some help for your mixed faith marriage? That is what I do! Go to BrookeBoothCoaching.com for more information.
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The panel meets again (Suzette Halterman, Chris Rich and Brooke Booth) to talk about being adaptable and flexible.
In this discussion we get into the following:
- The importance of being adaptable and the harm in rigidity.
-The difference between being adaptable and being a doormat
- How to handle our own lack of flexibility
-How to handle our spouse's lack of flexibility
As always it's full of our own journey and what we have learned and seen on our own paths.
If you are interested in getting help for you mixed faith marriage check out my website : https://brookeboothcoaching.com/
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In this episode I share some of my musing on love and approval that have been eye opening for my own self development.
Love is often considered the highest and best gift we give to another. For me, I realized I was actually seeking approval.
Here I share why I was seeking approval (it is part of my religious upbringing) and share three steps to try if you are also seeking approval.
If you are interested in working with me go here: https://brookeboothcoaching.com/
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Here I talk about the intersection between emotions and communication. Many people ask me how they can communicate with less emotions and with a better tone. This is not a bad question but I want to go further and explore why are we not allowed to modulate our voice and use different tones in our communication? Why is that? Why do emotions have such a bad reputation when it comes to communication?
I talk about how when we use emotions on purpose that is not the same as policing or eliminating certain emotions for our experience.
I invite you to find a balance where you can share and communicate emotions and not eliminate them from your communications.
Go to BrookeBoothCoaching.com to get additional support.
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Suzette Halterman is back on the podcast. As an expert in mixed faith marriage dynamics I always love to get her valuable insight.
In this conversation we talk about church attendance, resignation, kid's attendance at church and co-parenting in a mixed faith marriage.
Suzette attends the LDS church but does not believe and we discuss how she personally came to that position as well as how to figure that out for yourself.
Looking for help for your mixed faith marriage check out Suzette's work @SuzetteHaltermanCoaching or check out my course at https://brookeboothcoaching.com/mfm-course-sales-page/
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In this panel discussion with Chris Rich and Suzette Halterman we talk about the sometimes delicate topic of tithing.
We talk about:
-How we deal with it in our marriages
-How we see clients deal with tithing
-Why is can be such a hot topic
-Tips on how to talk about tithing
If you want to learn more about my course to help you LOVE your mixed faith marriage - go here: https://brookeboothcoaching.com/mfm-course-sales-page/
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I get a lot of requests on how to talk to kids about a faith transition. Good news, I put together a script for you to use and modify to make your own.
In this podcast I give some general tips on how to talk to kids about hard things (like a faith transition) and I share some steps to follow and even provide a sample script.
Ready to get more help? Go to BrookeBoothCoaching.com to learn more about working with me.
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This is a raw and real podcast about faith transitions, mixed faith families and friendship. Samantha Conley shares her experience of being a single member who has a faith transition and how that played out in her family and friendships. We discuss relationship and personal development and how they change over time.This is a great podcast if you have had a faith transition or love someone who has had a faith transition.FYI - The background is a bit noisy. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/brooke-booth7/message
Chris Rich, Suzette Halterman and myself talk about respect in a mixed faith marriage.
We share:
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Our definitions of respect (what it is and what it is NOT).
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How lack of respect can be a big deal or small potatoes
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How our own judgment can stop us from showing respect.
-How respect looks like in conversations (interrupting or not)
-How to respect someone who has different religious beliefs
AND SO MUCH MORE!
Go here to learn about my course to help you fall in love with your mixed faith marriage:
https://brookeboothcoaching.com/mfm-course-sales-page/
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This is a little addendum to the last podcast on codependency.
In this episode I dive into what it looks like to be passive and active in a marriage and in life.
I invite you to be a little more active in your mixed faith marriage and provide examples to help you see where you may be passive.
Get more help at BrookeBoothCoaching.com!
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Listen to episode 44 for the first part of this series!
In episode 44 I talk about what codependency is and how it presents. Here I talk more about what to do about it. I share 13 things to help you stop being codependent in your mixed faith marriage.
Looking for help? Check how how to work with me at Brookeboothcoaching.com.
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Talking about the Sunday school lesson, who you saw at the RS activity and how your primary lesson went used to be normal topics of conversation ... until the faith transition.
Talking about church can be hard. In this podcast I re-visit emotional bids and offer a few ideas on talking about church.
Learn more about working with me here: https://brookeboothcoaching.com/work-with-brooke/
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In this podcast episode I talk about a coaching I tool I love to use with my clients in a mixed faith marriage. It's the basic idea that a marriage is going to be both awesome and awkward and that is okay!
However, I also think that this tool should be used with discretion. Not all coaching tools apply to all situations equally.
Here I walk you though the criteria to apply when deciding if this took is a good fit for you.
To learn more about working with me go to brookeboothcoaching.com.
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"If I had known about this .... I would not have married you" is something that comes up in a mixed faith marriage after a faith transition.
In this mastermind panel discussion Suzette Halterman, Chris Rich and myself discuss this phrase.
We talk about :
-Our own personal experience with this kind of phrase
- When it might be a valid and important part of communication
-How much conscious choice we exercise when choosing our spouse
-How to choose your spouse now if that is the right decision
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In the third installment of my three part series on patriarchy I talk about invisible labor and more specifically emotional labor.
Emotional labor is disproportionately the responsibly of women.
In this episode I share how this may show up in a mixed faith marriage.
For more individual help go to brookeboothcoaching.com.
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Part 2 in my 2 part series on patriarchy in a mixed faith marriage.
In this episode I talk about a cycle I see with many women that often ends in feeling suppressed or expressed anger and frustration.
Spoilers, this is often a because of how women as socialized in a patriarchy and this cycle can be part of a mixed faith marriage.
Learning about the cycle can help you have the awareness needed to break the cycle.
Reach and to set up a free consult if you are looking for more help! https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=21674062&appointmentType=19524597
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I am doing a three part series on the impacts of Patriarchy in a mixed faith marriage.
In part one I am exploring some of my own musing and conclusions based on my own observations and training (I have completed the Advanced Feminist Certified Coaching program).
In this podcast I walk through the differences men and women may face in a mixed faith marriage.
They are both challenging but it can be helpful to have language around the differences to understand your own experience better.
If you are ready to get some help, let's talk. Reach out and grab a slot for a free consult. I have a few spots available. https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=21674062&appointmentType=19524597
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This panel discussion is all about listening. We share our horror stories and our successes when it comes to listening. We talk about the things blocking us from being better listeners. We acknowledge listening is a hard skill and you will not always be able to listen perfectly. We share some ideas on how to develop your listening skills. This episode is packed with ideas, suggestions, and tips.
Join Chris Rich, Suzette Ward Halterman and myself as we do a deep dive into listening in your mixed faith marriage.
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I hear a lot of clients tell me they should be on the same page in their marriage. However, being in a mixed faith marriage often means you are not and that can be a constant sore spot. What if it was okay or even amazing that you are NOT on the same page? In this podcast I offer the analogy of the designer and the engineer to show that not being on the same page can be a good thing.
Ready to get some help for you mixed faith marriage. Grab your free consultation now! https://brookeboothcoaching.com/work-with-brooke/
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Respect is often touted as super important in a marriage (and I agree). However, there are so many definitions of respect, some of which may hurt one's sense of belonging in their marriage. What does respect mean in your mixed faith marriage? What can respect mean in your mixed faith marriage?
To work with me go here: https://brookeboothcoaching.com/work-with-brooke/
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The most important work I do is to teach clients how to fall in love again after a faith transition and mixed faith marriage.
As part of this process it's helpful to (1) identify what stopped you from loving and (2) kick start the practice of falling in love again.
In this podcast episode, I talk about both in detail.
To learn about my course where you can learn how to fall in love again in 90 days go here: https://brookeboothcoaching.com/group/
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In this panel discussion myself (@BrookeBoothCoaching), Chris Rich (@ChrisRichCoaching) and Suzette Halterman (@SuzetteHaltermanCoaching) talk about garments.
We talk about the impact of taking off garments in your relationship. We tell our own experiences and share insights from our professional work. We also get into how modesty, betrayal and sex can be linked to garments.
To learn about working with me click here: https://brookeboothcoaching.com/work-with-brooke/
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For years I sought to fit in to my marriage only to find I didn't actually belong. My mixed faith marriage helped me to see that my efforts to belong (i.e. fitting in) were actually stopping me from belonging.
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This episode is for those of you who have had the faith transition. If you are like me, after your faith transition you believed that your spouse didn't approve of you anymore or didn't like you. I certainly believed both. This led me to create distance and withdraw even though I wanted to be close and belong. Here I talk about how to lean back into love and fall in love again.
Go here to learn about working with me: https://brookeboothcoaching.com/work-with-brooke/
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In this panel discussion myself (@BrookeBoothCoaching), Chris Rich (@ChrisRichCoaching) and Suzette Halterman (@SuzetteHaltermanCoaching) talk about partnership. In this discussion we talk about definitions of partnership, how to develop a partnership (even if your spouse is not interested), and compare partnership to other types of relationships. We share our own experiences with partnership in our individual mixed faith marriages.
To learn about working with me click here: https://brookeboothcoaching.com/work-with-brooke/
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Most of the time our intention is very good in our mixed faith marriage. We want what's best for our spouse and we love them. However, we stop there and do not look closely at the impact of our words and behavior.
Good intention does not nullify bad impact.
In this episode I give some examples of language that is probably from a good intention but may create a bad impact.
To learn more about working with me go here:
https://brookeboothcoaching.com/work-with-brooke/
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Self care is a bit of a cliche but also essential.
A mixed faith marriage and a faith transition are not light lifts. They can be really intense.
Are you taking care of yourself?
In this episode I talk about the four pillars of self care:
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Boundaries
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Self Compassion
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Value Based Decisions
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Self Empowerment
To learn about working with me go here: https://brookeboothcoaching.com/work-with-brooke/
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One of the reasons a mixed faith marriage can be so challenging is because we place our marriage on a pedestal. In this episode I talk about the impacts of placing our marriage on a pedestal. Here I talk about how to take your marriage off a pedestal to prevent or release a build up of stress and pressure.
Looking for help in your mixed faith marriage? Go here: https://brookeboothcoaching.com/work-with-brooke/
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Suzette Halterman (@SuzettelHaltermanCoaching), Chris Rich (@ChrisRichCoaching) and myself (@BrookeBoothCoahching) continue our conversation on mixed faith marriages.
The combined insight of three coaches all in their own mixed faith marriages provides many invaluable insights.
In this episode we discuss: Alcohol.
We address some of these questions:
Why is alcohol such a hot topic/ scary?
How to communicate about alcohol?
Tips for those you drink and those who do not drink and much more.
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Here I share some pretty common marriage advice. A lot of advice is great. A lot of advice is not so great. I talk about how to know if the advice you are getting or receiving is worth keeping. Learn about working with me here: https://brookeboothcoaching.com/work-with-brooke/--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/brooke-booth7/message
I want to revisit communication. Here I share what I consider to be the four pillars of communication.
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Know your preferences
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Communicate Desires
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Clarity Expectations
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Repair
I explain each of the four pillars and how they apply to a mixed faith marriage.
To learn about working with me go to my webpage: https://brookeboothcoaching.com/work-with-brooke/
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I hear two phrases on the regular in my coaching practice.
This is not what I signed up for.
This is not how it's supposed to be.
I want to suggest that you are right. This is not how it's supposed to be and not what you signed up for.
AND staying in that mindset is like staying in waves that keep crashing you against the rocks.
Here I talk about leaving the "supposed to's" behind if that makes sense to you.
If you want to work with me on your mixed faith marriage , you can learn more here: https://brookeboothcoaching.com/work-with-brooke/
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Chris Rich, Suzette Halterman and myself are starting a series where we combine our knowledge, expertise and experience to help you in your mixed faith marriage. In this first installment we talk about connection.
-What connection means?
-How to create more of it?
-What types of connection exist
-Is there a certain balance of connection and disconnection you should aim for?
To learn more about my course - Loving and Strengthening Your Mixed Faith Marriage.
https://brookeboothcoaching.com/group/
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Here I interview Suzette Halterman a colleague in the mixed faith marriage coaching world. Suzette is an expert in couples work. In this podcast we talk about a few things: -Her passion for couples work and training-The difference between individuation and differentiation -One of her favorite tools (spoiler its speaking and listening) -Difference between coaching and therapy -Her own story of her mixed faith marriage To learn more about Suzette go to https://www.suzettehaltermancoaching.comInstagram: @suzettehaltermanFacebook: Suzette Halterman Coaching--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/brooke-booth7/message
General Conference can be a tense time in a Mormon mixed faith marriage. We used to spend the weekend chilling on the couch and playing bingo with our kids. Then it became this tense time where everyone was on eggshells.It doesn't have to stay that way. In this podcast I walk you though some questions to help take a more intentional approach to conference weekend. Learn more about the online course - Loving and Strengthening Your Mixed Faith Marriage- HERE: https://brookeboothcoaching.com/group/--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/brooke-booth7/message
There is a cycle I see where we start to hide things from our spouse because we are afraid of judgment and/or afraid of rocking the boat. This hiding is done to protect the relationship but it doesn't work out that way. Hiding often creates disconnection. This podcast episode discusses why we hide, its unintended consequences and provides some ways to overcome the tendency to hide.
Find my Free mini course here: https://mailchi.mp/2472f9875713/mini-course
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For the 100th episode I share how my mixed faith marriage was a huge catalyst for my own self development and self acceptance journey. Here I share a little more of my own story and how I am using my mixed faith marriage to take better care of me at this stage in my life.
Learn about my course here: https://brookeboothcoaching.com/group/
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Projection or mirroring is a pretty common in relationships and mixed faith marriages. Learning about it and building awareness can help you not fall into projection habits that can potentially hurt your relationship.
This episode will help you be more familiar with projecting so you can be aware and I will offer you a suggestion to help stop you from projecting.
To learn more about my on line course - Loving and Strengthening Your Mixed Faith Marriage - GO HERE -https://brookeboothcoaching.com/group/
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There are some issues that need to be solved in a marriage and some things that need to be managed. I think we sometimes want to solve things that need to be managed. Sometimes we resist managing things because we think they should be solved. Being in a mixed faith marriage is often an issue that needs to be managed and not solved. I offer two things to try to help you manage your mixed faith marriage with more love and gentleness.
Learn about my course here: https://brookeboothcoaching.com/group/
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I share a simple Taoist story that I feel applies to a LDS mixed faith marriage.
I have seen clients get very concerned about what may happen in the future. The concern may even cause harm and damage in the relationship today.
In the podcast I share two examples of how we can let future tripping trip us up in a mixed faith marriage.
Learn about working with me here: https://brookeboothcoaching.com/work-with-brooke/
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Let’s talk about sunk costs in a mixed faith marriage.
In this episode I describe what is a sunk cost fallacy and how it might be showing up in your mixed faith marriage.
I give a few suggestions on how to not let sunk costs stop you from having the life and marriage you want.
To learn more about my on line course - Loving and Strengthening Your Mixed Faith Marriage - GO HERE - https://brookeboothcoaching.com/group/
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In this podcast episode I teach a concept from my online course - Loving and Strengthening Your Mixed Faith Marriage. The concept is to bring awareness to the story you are telling about your mixed faith marriage. Often a faith transition can trigger the start of a negative story and then it perpetuates for months and even years if we don’t develop the awareness around our own stories.
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I think it’s not uncommon for 80% of communication to be assumptions and subtext and 20% to be direct and verbal. I suggest that in a mixed faith marriage you may want to flip that around and bring more communication into the explicit and verbal to avoid hurt and frustration. In this podcast I talk about how to develop awareness around your assumptions and how to make them more direct.
Learn about my course here : https://brookeboothcoaching.com/group/
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In this week’s podcast I talk about my recent experience with couples counseling. I share some general guidelines on when to use one on one work versus couples counseling. I also share some ideas on how to get the most out of couples counseling.
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In this episode I describe what I call the pendulum effect in a mixed faith marriage. Often a spouse who has deconstructed their beliefs may appear to be wildly swinging around but really they are on a pendulum that will eventually find rest. I share a few ideas if this is happening in your mixed faith marriage.
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Alcohol, cannabis, psilocybin and other substances may be new topics of discussion in your mixed faith marriage. These topics can be very polarizing. In this episode I will outline the main viewpoints I have seen on both sides and offer some ideas for consideration.
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As I continue to do my own work on being in a mixed faith marriage I realized I needed to revisit grief. For me, trust and betrayal were hiding/masking grief. If you feel your trust has been violated or you have been betrayed in your mixed faith marriage you will want to listen to this episode.
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In retrospect I would have approached my mixed faith marriage and talking about my issues with the church in a completely different way. In this podcast I talk about using our judgment to know when to talk about heavier and harder topics and when to wait.
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In this podcast Reed Dean (certified life coach) and I discuss how our faith journeys have impacted our relationships. We also share some pillars of relationships that we have learned from our own experiences. Reed is a smart and thoughtful coach and her wisdom abounds in this episode.
You can find Reed on Instagram at reeddeancoaching. Or use this link:
https://www.instagram.com/reeddeancoaching/
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In honor of Pride Month I interview Melisa Mons is a LGBTQIA+ activist and ally. Melisa is also in a mixed faith marriage. In this podcast we talk about her activism and its impact in her marriage. She shares an interesting analogy about conditional and unconditional love that you will want to hear. She also gives some great advice if you are the parent of a LGBTQIA+ child.
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I hear people say all the time that they don’t want to rock the boat. This is often associated with their faith transition and new mixed faith marriage. In this podcast I suggest that (1) change does not have to be feared and (2) boats are supposed to rock. Maybe I take this metaphor too far, but I couldn’t help myself! Enjoy my rocking the boat episode.
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Quiet quitting happens in the workplace but can also be happening in your mixed faith marriage. In this podcast I’ll give you some ideas of how it may look and offer some suggestions on how to address quiet quitting.
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Fighting can be a huge problem in a mixed faith marriage and it can be an excuse to avoid talking about important topics. Here I discuss various definitions of fighting and a uestion what type of fighting is harmful and what type may be helpful. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/brooke-booth7/message
A relationship bill of rights can be a tool you use to strengthen your mixed faith marriage and open the door to communication on some challenging topics. In this episode I give you some examples of rights you might include in your bill of rights. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/brooke-booth7/message
This may not be an easy episode for some of you. However I hear regularly about women who struggle being mothers and feel so much shame around this struggle. This impacts the marriage . It has impacted mine. Here I talk about the real struggles some women face and how that can impact the marriage and offer some words of advice from my own experience. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/brooke-booth7/message
Here I share about my newly revised free mini course. It’s been expanded and improved in so many ways. The mini course includes sections on (1) why you are withholding love; (2) getting clear on what you can control; (3) communication; (4) boundaries; and (5) reconnecting. Listen to learn how to get your copy. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/brooke-booth7/message
I didn’t sign up for this is a common response to a mixed faith marriage. In this podcast I give a little tough love to you if this is where you are at. I also talk about how you might be beating yourself up for being the one who changed the program in your marriage. Both positions can prove painful and unhelpful. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/brooke-booth7/message
Religious discrimination is not an easy topic but it can have a real impact in your mixed faith marriage. Accepting the presence of discrimination and deciding how to manage it can be a game changer.
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In this episode I talk about why connection in a marriage sometimes decreases after a faith transition. Often emotional bids are not met with a positive response. By being aware of how you are responding to emotional bids you can really start to address disconnection. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/brooke-booth7/message
I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my Mormon mixed faith marriage. When we can own our mistakes we can learn from them. Here I talk through some of my mistakes and the lessons I’ve learned. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/brooke-booth7/message
I consider a Mormon mixed faith marriage and parenting in a mixed faith marriage to be a long game. What I mean is that I am looking for impact and results over decades and not just today. When I make choices around my mixed faith marriage I like to analyze that decision from a long game perspective. I also explain why it’s so easy to just show up with a short term approach. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/brooke-booth7/message
A LDS mixed faith marriage means the two partners have a conflict of opinion. Conflict is present. Learning to tolerate conflict is an important skill to develop in a mixed faith marriage. Here I talk about some reasons why we don’t develop it and the cost of underdeveloped conflict tolerance. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/brooke-booth7/message
In this episode I share my answers to two questions recently presented to me. They are: (1) what advice do you have for active believing members and (2) What do you wish active believing members understood? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/brooke-booth7/message
I’ve seen my clients in a mixed faith marriage struggle with the criticism and defensiveness cycle. In order to break a cycle is important to understand it and take responsibility for it. This podcast starts you on that road and offers some questions to help you learn about your part in this cycle. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/brooke-booth7/message
This week’s podcast discusses the difference between care and care taking. Often when we love someone deeply we want them to always be happy and never be hurt or disappointed. That’s a beautiful thing until we step past caring into caretaking which can open the door to control. In this episode I give several examples of what care and care taking looks like in a mixed faith marriage.--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/brooke-booth7/message
I have heard from my clients that they don’t know what to do when their spouse has a negative opinion of them.
What are they supposed to do if their spouse thinks they are a racist, looks like a drug addict because of their tattoos, or that they are untrustworthy due to their faith transition?
I suggest one initial step and then a series of questions to help explore the next steps.
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A mixed faith marriage can cause some to question marriage as an institution. It can open up questions about why you got married and why you stay married. In this podcast I discuss some of those questions that may look like:
- What do we have in common without the church?
- He only married me because I was a good mormon - does this mean he doesn’t want to be married anymore
- I ony married him because he ticked the boxes, he was what I was told to marry- now what?
- Do I want to stay married?
- Do I want be be married to this person - any person
- What do I think of marriage?
- Do I want to be married to someone who believes or doesn’t believe the gospel?
- How do we build a new foundation?
- What if they don’t want to build a new foundation?
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A LDS mixed faith marriage often means the loss of certain dreams. There may be many lost dreams: the dream to be senior missionaries, to attend the temple together, and to raise kids in the church together. Here I talk about the loss of dreams through the lens of codependency.
The loss of a dream will trigger the grief cycle. When you can allow the grief cycle and work through that process you can end up in acceptance.
Acceptance is the key to moving forward in your relationship when dreams are no longer viable.
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I address a listener’s question about wanting to talk about certain issues in her marriage and wondering if she is wanting to be right versus happy or just suppressing herself. Here I explore how I would work on this in a coaching session. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/brooke-booth7/message
In this podcast I discuss the the question - is a faith transition a choice? Ultimately, I think this question is not very helpful and suggest another way of approaching this question. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/brooke-booth7/message
A faith transition can prompt one to want to try new things- coffee, alcohol, tank tops, etc. In this episode I talk about some emotions that come up when we try new things and one thing to try to help address the fear around trying new things.
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Chris Rich is a fellow life coach and a good friend. In this podcast we talk frankly of our stories and experiencing in a mixed faith marriage. We talk about tithing, garments, general conference, temple, and kids.
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If you have experienced a faith transition/crisis you have probably faced uncertainty. Here I talk about how to frame uncertainty so you can keep moving forward in your life. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/brooke-booth7/message
In this episode I give four tips to help you actually make meaningful changes to your mixed faith marriage this coming year or at any time of the year.--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/brooke-booth7/message
I love having tools to use in my mixed faith marriage. They help me show up with more confidence and capability. Here I share some simple tools to help your mixed faith marriage. Choose one and master it. Then you can add another and another. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/brooke-booth7/message
I interview my husband again in this episode. Here we talk about tithing, fasting, getting kids ready for church, tattoos, piercing, alcohol and more. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/brooke-booth7/message
Sometimes we indulge in emotional cupcakes in our mixed faith marriage. These are the little hits of dopamine we get when we prove a point or land a jab or point out an inconsistency. Emotional cupcakes are all about being right over being happy. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/brooke-booth7/message
Many wonder how to celebrate a religious holiday if you don’t believe in the same religion. In this podcast I teach you a tool to help look at the holidays in a way to help your mixed faith marriage. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/brooke-booth7/message
When a marriage is based in roles a faith transition can be very disruptive to the marriage. When a marriage is based on relationship a faith transition is not so bumpy. Here I explain roles versus relationships so you can evaluate your marriage.
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When we are managing our spouse’s emotions it tends to be because we don’t want to deal with their emotional reactions and/or we think they should not experience negative emotions. However, trying to emotionally regulate our spouse is not the foundation for a great long term relationship.
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In this episode we explore the angry phase in a Mormon faith transition. You may be surprised to learn that it’s not unusual for both spouses to have an angry phase. Here I give you some suggestions on how to handle your angry phase and your spouses angry phase.
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Defensiveness is poison for your marriage. Here I discuss how to defend yourself without being defensive. I use real examples from a mixed faith marriage perspective.
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The issues or sticky points in your marriage are often connected to deeper problems. In this podcast I give you a framework to apply to start to dig deeper and work on your marriage tough spots.
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Here I answer a listener question regarding some messages they consider shameful that are taught at church and by their spouse.
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In this episode I address issues around sex my clients have brought to coaching calls. I offer an exercise to help you begin to address any sex issues you may have in your marriage.
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Intimacy is not just sex. Although sex can be part of intimacy. Here I explore the concept of intimacy and how a faith transition can bring up intimacy issues.
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I have had clients stop teaching their kids and stop parenting in the way they want because they are afraid of alienating their spouse. Here I share some ideas on how to approach this so you can parent and partner in ways that work for you.
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We often default to roles in our relationships. Here I talk about three common roles: parent, roommate and girlfriend (or boyfriend) and how they look in a mixed faith marriage.
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In the episode I share some common but unhelpful approaches to a mixed faith marriage and then offer a radical approach for you to consider.
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Conflict is part of any relationship. Here I give some concrete ideas on how to develop your conflict resolution skills and how it looks in a mixed faith marriage .
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Here I break down four skills you need to be a good communicator. Communication is vital in any relationship and it is complex. Communication is really a combination of several tools and skill sets. Here I cover the four basic pieces needed to be a good communicator.
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Complaining can erode away at your relationship. Here I talk about how to recognize if complaining is an issue in your marriage and give you a complaint audit process.
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Here I revisit boundaries. This is a deep dive into the different types of boundaries and how to know what is a boundary violation for you so you know if you need a boundary.
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Enmeshment, differentiation, individuation, boundaries and codependency have been a part of my Mormon mixed faith marriage. They may be part of yours too. Here I walk through these concepts and talk about how they may present in a mixed faith marriage.
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Daniel and I sit down and talk frankly about our mixed faith marriage as we mark 5 years into my faith transition and 4 years of not attending church.
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Listen to 15 yo Sage talk about her experience as a child in a mixed faith marriage. Sage was 10-11 when my faith transition started.
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Codependency shows up a lot in a Mormon mixed faith marriage. I used to think it didn’t apply to me because I came from a great family. I was wrong. Here I give you my definition of codependency and tips on how to recognize if it is at play in your marriage.
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It’s been four years since I stepped away from attending church. Here I share one HUGE lesson that helped me and I celebrate just how far we have come.
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Here I teach the 20/80 rule. 20% of your time and budget should go to the fun and flashy things that support your marriage and 80% on the boring and basic things that support your marriage.
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It can be super helpful to have some go to phrases in your back pocket to help with communication in your mixed faith marriage. Here I share my go to phrases and teach you how to make your own.
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Beth is a fellow life coach who had a faith transition, mixed faith marriage and a divorce. Here we hear her story about how she managed these challenging life transitions with grace by using of coaching tools.
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Here I explore some of the messaging in the church that may be impacting your mixed faith marriage in negative ways.
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Here I explore the question whether to allow the kids to stay home or go to church. Often this simple question can be answered by understanding your parenting goals.
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Direct communication is one if the best ways to improve your communication and decrease resentment. Here I give you some ideas on how to communicate directly around getting the kids ready for church.
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I was taught divorce is not an option and believed that for many years. Here I discuss the pros and cons of putting divorce on the table. I also address some things to consider if faced with a divorce.
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Marriage researcher John Gottman teaches about the four horsemen that herald a divorce. Here I share how I leaned to decrease the four horsemen in my mixed faith marriage using coaching tools.
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Here I give you a three step process on how to fall in love again after a faith transition.
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Here I talk to a colleague of mine - Chris Rich. We are both life coaches and both in a Mormon mixed faith marriage. We share a little of our stories and talk about some of our favorite coaching tools for mixed faith marriages. Find more about Chris at https://www.chrisrichcoaching.com.
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When faced with a faith transition and a mixed faith marriage we panic a little and start to assign blame. Blame is often the first thing we reach for in an uncomfortable situation, but it is rarely helpful. Here I teach about blame and offer another option.
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Here I offer more detail around the concepts of emotional adulthood and emotional childhood. When you can step into emotional adulthood you can create more space in your marriage for acceptance and connection.
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In this episode I teach you something from my group coaching program- Loving Your Mixed Faith Marriage. Here I walk you through setting a goal in your relationship. I talk about two common obstacles that come up when we work towards a goal: 1. Manuals and 2. Conditional Love.
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Often people are interested in improving their marriage and interested in developing communication skills. However, commitment is often necessary to make real changes. Interested is not always enough. Here I talk about the difference between being interested versus committed in improving your mixed faith marriage.
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Here I talk with my sister about faith and marriage. She and her husband left the church and have a very different marriage then I do. Here we discuss her marriage and how it’s shifted as their faith shifted.
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In this episode I talk about the partnership model versus petitioner model. I provide a definition of partnership and compare and contrast the partnership model with the petitioner model. For years I showed up as a petitioner and it created a lot of frustration. Understanding the two models can help you decide how you want to show up in your marriage.
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In this episode I talk about some common obstacles that prevent you from supporting your spouse from love and in a sustainable way.
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Love feels so good. Sometimes we limit or put conditions on feeling amazing. Here I talk about conditional and unconditional love and how we limit our ability to feel love.
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Here I ask a series of questions to explore what you believe about your mixed faith marriage. Your brain is a powerful tool that will bring you evidence to support your belief system. Are you setting yourself up for success or suffering with your current belief system?
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Selfishness is often at the root of many marriage problems. Here I challenge a common definition of selfish and suggest an alternative one.
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A faith transition and a mixed faith marriage may cause you to feel grief and loss. Maybe you have experienced the loss of your same faith marriage, loss of community, loss of standing in that community, loss of family traditions and foundations. It can be helpful to take a look at the grief cycle in this context to help you navigate all the emotions. Here I talk about how the grief cycle applies to a Mormon mixed faith marriage.
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Boundaries can be an important part of a mixed faith marriage and participating in a mixed faith extended family. Here I talk about the difference between a boundary and a request and how to implement a boundary.
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In this short but important episode I talk about fear. Fear can present as a series of questions with very scary answers. Fear can undermine how we show up. And it doesn’t have to.
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I hear a lot that it is important to be on the same page in a marriage, especially in parenting. Here I discuss that for many having different faith journeys is an example of not being in the same page. This can cause incredible pain. One approach is to look closer at the belief that you and your spouse need to be in the same page. That belief may be hurting more than helping.
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Acting in a passive aggressive way is unfortunately common in a mixed faith marriage. Here I tell you about common ways passive aggression may appear in a marriage and why we often default to it.
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There are often several phases that are part of a mixed faith marriage. Here I talk about the - Ignore it and Hope it Goes Away Phase, The Walking in Eggshell Phase and Why Can’t They Just Change Phase (among others). There is also a Happily Ever After phase. It’s also known as acceptance.
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Here I address 10 things that indicate you need help in your marriage. Often we put off getting help. An investment in your marriage pays off for years and with compound interest!
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Here I talk about how to deal with those painful things our spouse’s sometimes dish out to us in a mixed faith marriage.
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Many clients come to me with a deep concern around what others will think about their faith transition or their spouse’s faith transition. It can be a paralyzing fear. Here I discuss why we have this fear.
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If you are facing a baby blessing, baptism, ordination or other event you may be anxious or concerned about how to even approach the event. Here I discuss my own experiences with our children and suggest some questions to ask yourself to help you manage these events.
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Making decisions in a mixed faith marriage can be painful- but it does not have to be. If you want to make decisions around kids, baptism, Sunday attendance and more it is helpful to take a close look at your current decision making process. If decisions ultimately leave you frustrated, it may be time to change the decision making process used in your marriage.
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This is part 2 of a 3 part series on communication. Here I share a tool that will help you succeed in having a difficult conversation in your mixed faith marriage.
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There are a few things to consider when you talk to your spouse about your or their faith transition. This podcast addresses a few key things to consider.
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Guilt and shame almost invariably show up in a mixed faith marriage whether you are the active believing spouse or the spouse with the faith transition. The issue with guilt and shame is they do not motivate us and help us show up in helpful ways.
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When faced with emotions in your mixed faith marriage there are a few ways you can respond. My recommendation is to process those emotions. Emotional processing is a skill anyone can develop. You just need to learn how and practice.
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People pleasing is common in Mormon mixed faith marriages. It is one of the biggest blocks to emotional intimacy and causes tons of resentment.
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We often default to certain roles when things get challenging in our mixed faith marriage. These roles may be undermining your goals and your marriage. Awareness of the roles is key to stepping out.
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If you believe a mixed faith marriage is hard and not ideal, you will most like experience a marriage that is hard and not ideal. There is another choice.
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We often have a set of rules on how we think our spouse should act, speak, dress, think, believe, and show up in our family. A faith transition can bring this to the surface fast!
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If it feels like things are just happening to you in your mixed faith marriage it may be time to implement adulting- the art of being an adult. This means taking full responsibility for your emotional life.
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If you find your attempts to talk with your spouse about faith and religion are a train wreck, it may be your emotions are being ignored.
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Do you wish your spouse would change (go to church/not go to church, read this/don’t read this, believe something/don’t believe something) so you can feel better about them and your marriage? This can be an uphill battle. Here I talk about how to focus on what you can control in your marriage so frustration is not showing up on a regular basis.
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