HONKEYMOON CAFE: Recent Episodes
Honkeymoon Cafe
Village Tales from a typical rural idyll, an English village nestling in the Dorset countryside, Thomas Hardy country, and what goes on is just as bizarre as it ever was. From the dark side, weird and wonderful short stories so you'll see, the truth is not stranger than fiction.
A subsequent meeting with Michael Corrigan makes the story teller determined to see if he can see the 'Little People'. His resolve falters but circumstances take over ensuring that something happens. It seems so real at the time, but can he be sure he saw anything? And if he did, what proof is there?
Written for a local radio station, this is a 'dramatised' short story. Renovating a neglected cottage myself, I am aware that there may be 'echoes' from the past, perhaps like many properties that have some age and where things have happened that are not so easily forgotten by something or someone. In this case it may have been fool hardy to change too much of the property, particularly when there appears to be no obvious reason. If the reason becomes obvious, it could be too late!
( The Milkman Pt 2 ) When ‘Connie’ the village milkman died in London all that was found on him was a postcard, a photo of our village, but all that was written on it was, ‘From your son.’ There doesn’t seem to be a connection to anyone in the village, not even those where Connie ‘lingered’, but Rachael comes up with a theory.
Local knowledge consists of rumour and invention, but at its centre may be a nugget of truth. If a quizmaster is going to ask questions, they have to be verifiable and unambiguous, so the truth has to be found. In the search for truth, there may be other discoveries along the way.
What is it about Pub quizzes that makes normally placid people so competitive? If the questions have debatable answers all hell can let loose, and it will be the quiz master that gets the blame. So called ‘Professionals’ stalk the nights and one way to confound them is to have a round of ‘Local Knowledge’, but who do you believe when there are so many versions?
Dotty was an eccentric every village would be proud to have. Her theatrical fantasies, her imagining she appeared in silent films and on the stage, and her relationships with the stars she claimed were friends were fanciful beyond belief. What did it matter if none of it was true. Except . . .
Taking up an interest can not only be a way of filling one’s spare time and be a change from our daily routine, but sometimes a way of finding ourselves and even a liberation.
The past is only ever just behind us. If something disturbs it, it takes very little for it to catch us up.
What makes us think we have any control over our lives? If we are lucky do we put it down to our determination, our skill, or craft? And what of those that have no luck, do we blame them for where they are, what they do not have? The line is very fine between success, if that’s what you think it is, and failure, and some people are in no way to blame for where they are; but we’d be better people for offering them a hand, should they need it.
More Dawson catastrophes. Charles Dawson and his part during the WW1 in Egypt alongside Lawrence, then Captain Nathanial Dawson, accidental discoverer of islands and coloniser, both knighted for their services to the Crown.
Gone for nearly everyone these day are the milk floats, the clink of bottles on the door step and the cheerful, friendly milkman. The village ceased having its milk delivered many years ago, but milkmen had a reputation. Did ours leave something behind?
Imaginary friends are not uncommon, they can be a child or an animal. Are they just an innocent fantasy? Or can they have a darker purpose? Is an imaginary friend always just that?
Ridge Farm changes to Ridge House, and the new owners plan to modernise. The Old Laundry to be partially demolished and the fireplace opened up, and what will they find? No matter how up-to-date it might appear, you can’t change its past, and you can’t make something leave, that doesn’t want to. (Updated version)
If someone pays you in advance for a story, especially if it’s the landlord of your local pub, you want to give good value. And if it’s as a result of some banter, then you have the freedom to be creative, even if the landlord might regret asking you.
Constance and Bernard have been an couple ever since he didn’t win the Longest Carrot competition. They eventually decide to marry and move in together. They have been single for a good few years and the prospect of being married again and living with each other is exciting. What could possibly go wrong?
Shadows cast by a bright silvery moon and the movement of a gently breeze can give the impression of something huge moving silently through the countryside. A large animal, a big cat perhaps, or a monstrous dog? It could just be imagination, but if a victim of the beast proves its existence, what a story that would make!
Spring and summer heralds the season for garden parties and open air events, but with our weather, success or failure is in the lap of the Gods. Some, like Lady Blythe can afford to take no chances, but others risk it. What then happens if the weather isn't good can be a disaster and divide the village forever.
Whether you walk just to walk, or just to look and listen, the countryside is a beautiful place to explore, and we are lucky to have it, but there used to be more of it, and it’s there, the other side of a wall. The ‘Enclosures Act’ robbed the people of one fifth of the whole country! It was the common land that ordinary people had used and enjoyed for centuries, but the gentry put a wall round it and called it ‘theirs’.
More Dawson catastrophes! This time the Dawson’s historic connection to steeplechasing, Davinia Dawson’s interest in animal rights, and her loss of several snakes.
The village’s first singles dining club attracts attention when an alliance forms between one of the pub’s helpers and a complete stranger who is not to be trusted. When proof is found, it’s time for friends to act, and save a lovely but naive, vulnerable lady from being taken advantage of. Or should thy mind their own business?
A local becomes concerned over what he has, and what he’ll leave behind. Things can come to dominate our lives and there’s a concern that we spend all our later years just looking after everything we’ve got. Harold Poynter doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life just being a ‘caretaker’.
The Old Mill’s history once again causes concern. Some places amplify what 'stains' remain from those that have lived before. A series of unrelated events may be what it seems so to the casual observer, but we know that there is no such thing as coincidence. A previously dormant energy has awoken, but by what, or by whom?
Villages often create their own entertainment. Societies and clubs abound but under the innocent facade of say, a bridge club, turbulent waters stir and it doesn’t take much for a storm to brew. Sometimes it turns out to be just a passing squall, on other occasions, a tempest in which everything perishes.
An iron age fort, an antique, or the cottage we live in, there is a fascination for the past. It’s a connection, a continuity, and a firm spot. Like generations before us, it speaks to us of other times and of the part we play in our time, and that we will not be the last.
A muse takes all forms, and none. What gives any creative person the desire to practice their art and explore their talent to the full is illusive, but without it, little can be achieved. Is it something we strive for in the future, or something from which we are trying to escape from the past, a muse can push us or pull us.
An artist, not known for his reliability, takes on a commission and is paid in advance. After three months there’s no painting, the money’s been spent, and the wolves are circulating. What can a poor artist do?
Industry is not something always associated with the rolling hills of the Dorset countryside, but when research for the village museum turns up something of national importance, it could make the village famous, or at least show it had a part to play.
A celebrity stays in the village but only so long as she can go for walks without be hounded by the press. If she must dress like she does, she's bound to be caught out.
A stage magician and clairvoyant begins to wish it were possible to be at one’s own funeral, to hear the kind words, and find out what people really think. Surely with his skills anything is possible.
A mirror frame rotting in The Old Drum and Monkey’s cellar has been there for a century or more. It’s history as a mirror reveals it’s witnessed some horrific events. Do all mirrors remember what they've seen? And can they really show us?
Does a collector’s cabinet, which has no key, have anything valuable inside? Does it have anything at all? Would you destroy it to find out, or happily just dream about what it could be? Imagining what might be inside could tell you more about the you than the cabinet.
Our bellringers have at last acquired a fifth bell, but not everyone is happy about it. Some think there is a problem. As the sound fades away there’s another sound that accompanies it, one that sounds like a scream.
When a villager who is known as a hoarder suddenly disappears, it sparks all sorts of rumour. When his house is put up for sale and all the contents are to be cleared surely he must be dead. When something is found in a piece of furniture the mystery is solved and a love story is revealed.
If, when the snow lays deep on the ground, a young woman calls to ask if you’ve seen her child, Mary, you would help her wouldn’t you? It would be natural. Would it also be natural for the woman to disappear and for there to be no foot prints?
Davina Dawson, who only ever answers to ‘Dave’, is a party person but when a dinner party gets out of hand and a bookcase is damaged there are consequences.
An unlucky tailor becomes a misanthropic recluse after being wrongly found guilty of arson. Only when some help is offered after a serious fall does he become reconciled to society and able to reclaim the respect and admiration that as a master tailor should have always been his.
Did the renown anthropologist Dr. Frobisher really witness what he claimed in the jungles of the Amazon? If he did it would revolutionise what we know of human development, but the proof he had was lost. The contents of a trunk found in a store room during a clear-out in the British museum could be the proof the world has been searching for, unless it's been thrown away.
What possible harm can there be in a dress? Especially a classic, and one that fits perfectly. Could it be a little tight round the neck? A little too tight? A charity shop purchase and you might buy more than you bargained for.
Around Christmas ‘Old Ethel’ a bag lady, makes a regular appearance at the bottom of Gold Hill, Shaftesbury at a time when such people were greeted with suspicion, but was Old Ethel a witch? A kind gesture from a child who knows no better is rewarded and the benefit doesn’t stop there.
To every thing there is a season and a time to every purpose, in other words nothing lasts forever and no one. Those who were masters have become servants, and those who were poor become less so. Everybody’s going through changes, and everybody changes places, but the world goes on the same.
It could lead you to believe that there is as many dead wandering the lanes and cottages as there are those that appear in good health.
Michael Corrigan says he knows how to see 'the little people' but it's not easy and you have to keep still; very, very still, with no more light than a single candle.
Episode 2 of the Dawsons in which more of their history comes to light during the research carried out by Sir Mordant Fitzneatly into the story of King Alfred and the 'burning of the cakes'. Could the Dawsons be involved in that?
A predecessor of the current Lady Blythe makes a discovery that she cannot allow to become public knowledge. Only now after many years can the events leading up to the annual Guy Fawkes celebration, and the disappearance of Creak, the butler, be shockingly revealed.
This follows on from ‘Whistling Jack’ and is the investigation into how Jack came to the village, and took up residence in the woodman’s hut. It covers his young life and an accident which would affect the rest of his life and how he would be treated.
A disused path leads the storyteller to where a dog he walks looks fixedly, but nothing appears unusual. The dog is right and the storyteller regrets his wandering into something terrifying. On the brink of being lost he is drawn back by a familiar sound.
During the 1930s two children playing by a sandpit see the ghost of a man which they are able to describe accurately. Many years later after the children are both killed as adults fighting in the WW1 they appear to a man dressed identically as the man described nearly a hundred years before. Coincidence? How can someone appear as a ghost to two children before he was even born and then be haunted by them at the place where they first met?
The storyteller returning from a walk shares a bench with a stranger. The stranger relates the story of a visit to his birthplace, but does he, or the place, exist?
An introduction. A family steeped in academia but without an iota of common sense and who’s motto should be, ‘An accident waiting to happen’. Throughout history the Dawsons and their ancestors have been associated with some of the greatest catastrophes and mis-haps but somehow have always survived and even prospered. They live on the edge of the village and their tradition continues.
A ring with an inscription prompts some research into the past and an unrequited love affair that ended during WW2. The way it ended and its consequences had left a wound that had never healed.
Terry and Jill discover more about Terry’s past sparked by what they saw on the film in Terry’s collection. Terry’s hobby has become a successful business. Would that alone have led eventually to a family reunion?
Terry Marshall is a keen collector of old family movies. While watching a street carnival with his girlfriend, Jill, Terry recognises his mother and himself in a pushchair. Jill points out the man with his arm around her and holding what she thinks must be his brother. Terry tells her he has no brother, but is he right?
A new development on the edge of the village becomes the focus of one person’s ire. Determined her dog walking routine would prevail, if only to annoy the newcomers, she could have had no idea how much that would benefit them.
The forthcoming village produce show is all that anyone talks about, but why is it so important for Bernard to keep winning the Longest Carrot? Was a chance remark about his ‘manhood’? Surely not.
Most people are honest, aren’t they? When a so-called Major rents in the village and starts telling his far-fetched stories and collecting a fan base it’s got to be suspicious, hasn’t it? Some people are not what they seem.
'Lucy’ from the Hall appears one night with a problem, and a cardboard box. By the sound of it not one I can fix, but I might know someone who can. Can it be fixed before it’s missed? Or will it be the start of a whole load of trouble?
Miller Westlake’s Westmill had been enjoyed as a ruin for many decades. People in the village that had built up around it could not imagine anything good would come of its restoration.
An ageing local farmer decides to take a wife, but didn’t allow for what came with her. He hits upon a plan to ensure who gets the farm when he’s gone, will be those who deserve it.
Everything has its life story, what if it you could see it, feel it. What if you could pick up a rock and see what it has seen, what events you could witness, what mysteries could be unveiled. What power you might have. And what if you found a box that enabled you to do all that? Well, everything is possible, isn’t it?
Where did Milton find his ‘three pound coin’? Was it ever legal tender? Who are the mysterious callers? Could they have some thing to do with the coin? How many more questions can there be?
A genius counterfeiter doesn’t like the credit an ‘amateur’ is getting that he himself deserves. There’s pride in some crafts even though they are illegal. And what does pride come before . . . ?
An extended family try to decide how to celebrate a forthcoming 100th birthday. Surely it can’t be that difficult; can it?
It can be useful to have a man about the house especially if he’s a practical sort, so long as he keeps his hands to himself.
The continuing story - An antiques expert discovers something peculiar which raises questions about a death. Was it an accident or was a ghost involved? More to the point, was it murder? A retired inspector admits there’s no proof. In the end it’s not needed.
The first part of a two part story - Mark and Lucy move into the Old Mill which is haunted. The husband suspects his deceased ex-wife, Diana, is haunting him. After being pushed down the stairs, a medium is called to conduct a seance, and it’s definitely Diana. When Lucy is pushed down the stairs, was it an accident, or was it Diana?
Ever moved into a house, and can’t get rid of something that came with it? Something that doesn’t want to leave? Things have feelings too.
Why some villages prosper and some don’t has to be about the people. It's not all about ‘prosperity’, some wealthy places can be austere and unfriendly.Even villages that have lost their industry can still be proud of their sense of community.
In a changing world the past is the foundation on which the future is built.