Part-Time Struggle: Recent Episodes
Matthew Tarlton
Part-Time Struggle is dedicated to discussing men's mental health issues. I share my mental health stories in hopes that it opens the door for other men to openly discuss their struggles. I am not a professional. I am not a doctor. I am just a dude talking about his mental health issues.
My guest for Episode 24 is Josh McDowell and I’ve known this guy for like 98% of my life. Josh and I share many similarities, we are both husbands, we are both dads of daughters, we both have careers, and we both are musicians.
Josh and I have been in bands together since the early 2000’s. Josh’s passion for music is unmatched. This dude loves music and everything about music. It wasn’t until recently that I realized I only like music, but Josh freaking loves it which is why he’s continuing his journey with music, and I have shifted gears.
In today’s episode we talk about what it’s like juggling being a dad, a husband, getting older, all while still having a passionate hobby and not letting go of a dream. We also discuss the pitfalls of putting self-worth into hobbies/jobs and the negative impact that can have on our lives.
With all that said, I hope you find some value in our stories and the advice we have to give to others going through similar struggles.
Music discussed in Podcast:
The Dirty White - Dabney Coleman Part 5
The Dirty White - Mighty Prehistoric
Mt. Plastic - Swimming Lessons
A few weeks ago, my friend, Jonathan Taylor, reached out to me and said he’d like to discuss his time in the military and the PTSD he developed from that experience. Jonathan and I go back all the way to middle school, so we’ve known each other most of our lives. In 2002, Jonathan enlisted in the Army and during his tenure in the Army he experienced many, life changing, events and he decided to share those stories with me…and you!
This is exactly why I started Part-Time Struggle. I want it to be an informative podcast/blog in which people can talk about the not so fun side of life to let others out there know that, hey “sometimes life sucks and here’s how I’m dealing with it”. My conversation with Jonathan goes into how we know each other, his upbringing, why he decided to join the military, his experience in the Army, what he gained/lost, his thoughts on the VA, what he’s done in the past to work on his PTSD and what he’s currently doing to manage his mental health struggles.
Jonathan was able to provide a point of view that research on the internet could not do for me. I am very thankful that Jonathan reached out to me and wanted to be share his story with us.
Link to Feelings Chart
Do you feel numb inside at times or most of the time? Do you struggle putting a label on emotions and how you are feeling? Are you, at times, uncomfortable in your own skin? If so then your emotional needs may not have been met as a child.
In episode 22 of Part-Time Struggle, I discuss the book, "Running on Empty" by Dr. Jonice Webb. "Running on Empty" covers the topic of Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) which is a failure of parents or caregivers to respond to a child's emotional needs. In the book, Dr. Webb goes over the 12 different parenting styles that could lead to emotional neglect, and the commonalities of emotionally neglected children have as adults.
This book was a really good read and it helped me understand myself a little better and identified some of the, let's call them, "quirks" that I have when dealing with life. Particularly, why I get high anxiety whenever there's not consistency/structure in my life. I am a creature of habit for a reason.
If you'd like to be a guest on Part-Time Struggle, please reach out to me at contact@parttimestruggle.com. I'd love to hear what's going on in your life and what you are doing to overcome your struggles. It always helps to know that we aren't hurting alone in the this world so I'd love to hear your story and I am sure others would too.
Somedays you're the windshield and some days you're the bug. Over the past few weeks, I was definitely the bug. My ego and my depression got the best of me recently and I wanted to share that story with you on my most recent podcast.
It wasn't fun (okay, it may have been slightly funny) nor was it pretty but it was necessary in the part of my journey, which I like to call, "try to figure out what the heck is going on with me and why do I think the way I think and why can't I just enjoy living in my own skin?" I am a work in progress and so is the title of my journey. Luckily, I have an awesome family by my side to help me with my struggles.
In this episode I talk about my ego taking over and driving the ship for a little while and how I may have, slightly, veered off course with Part-Time Struggle. I learned over the past few weeks all about what an ego is, that there's good and bad ego's and what happens when the bad ego takes over, and why it takes over sometimes. I liken episodes 19 and 20 to Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox story and I try to describe what it's like to have depression. Almost like a bad sun burn of the mind. I close the podcast by talking about how I was able to understand what my depression was telling me and what I needed to do to fix it.
www.parttimestruggle.com
In this episode I talk about some recent parenting wins in my life. I don't often get those so I might humble brag a little when I do. To celebrate the fourth of July, I went back to my roots to Darlington, SC and dressed like then men in my life back in the late 80's/early 90's with my mustache, cut off blue jeans (jorts), and sleeveless shirt. You can see the pic on IG or www.parttimestruggle.com.
For my "Let's Get Uncomfortable" segment, I'll ask you a tough question that I asked myself a few weeks ago in an effort to find out what I really value/valued in my life. After you've thought about it or have written those things down, now ask yourself why you're hanging on to the things you don't value. This was a very liberating exercise for me and I hope you find it beneficial.
Finally, I talk about what makes a man a man because I am still trying to figure that out and this has nothing to do with gender or wieners. I describe what I was conditioned to believe to be a man growing up and how that may have played a part in my mental health issues. So I ask you, what were you conditioned to think, either through media or your home environment, that a man should be? I'm genuinely curious.
Oh, and there's also my Stranger Things 4 recap with spoilers so beware. I saved that for last in case you aren't caught up yet.
In this episode, I talk about the challenges of being a good friend in tough times, challenging the status quo of society/life, what prompt journaling has revealed for me, getting uncomfortable with uncomfortable topics (Roe v Wade, Guns, American Divided), disconnecting from media for the month of July (except for sports, of course!) to see if it helps with my mental health, and how I'm slowly learning the ropes of social media.
I hope you find some value in my topics. If you'd like to be a guest on Part-Time Struggle, please contact me at contact@parttimestruggle.com or find me on Twitter, IG, or Tik-Tok. I'd love to hear about the current struggles of your past or your current, day-to-day issues. I am sure there are others out there going through similar struggles and it always helps to hear that you aren't alone. Our life stories are unique, however, there are commonalities among all of us.
In this episode I mention "Get Untamed" as a prompt journaling book that I've used recently and here's a link to Glennon Doyle's site.
This episode is for the single dads out there and dads in general. My friend and fellow podcaster Joshua Peek of stuffiheard.com joins me to talk about the struggles of being a single dad. 16.1% of single parent households today are headed up by fathers, which has been a growing trend over the past decade. Joshua discusses the good, bad, and, the ugly of being a single parent, pre-internet, and how he was just figuring it out day-by-day...but aren't we all?.
He also shares some stories about his time in the Marine Corps, a couch to 5k success story, comedians as modern day philosophers, the craziness that is podcasting, finding your voice in this crazy world, and the remnants of Covid-19. I hope you find some value in this episode that you might be able to apply to your life in a positive way.
Remember, you aren't alone, there are many single fathers out there. It's okay to ask for help. It's okay to say you don't know the answer. Don't feel like you and you alone have to carry all the weight. People want to help. Be kind to yourself, always.
Kelvin Durant of A New You Speaks and A New You Counseling Center joins me for episode 17 of Part-Time Struggle and we discuss:
- Great Wolf Lodge
- "Smash" Rooms
- Male Body Image Issues
- My Moustache
- Toxic Relationships
- Emotional Detachment
Kelvin and I both have had situations in which we had toxic relationships with family members in which it is was in our best interests to end the connection because of the impact it was having on our mental health.
For more information about Kelvin's practice, please visit A New You Counseling Center or find him onFacebook. A New You Counseling Center is located at 901 West Evans St Suite B, Florence, SC 29501 or you can reach his office via phone at 843-799-0088.
This episode dives into emotional or psychological trauma and how it can affect us without us even knowing. I also discuss compassion fatigue, which is a new term that I learned, and how it may be affecting all of us and why that’s a bad thing.
In my previous podcast called 2015-2016, I talk about my life during those years (and years leading up to 2015-2016) and the trauma I went through, unknowingly. During that time, it was just day-to-day, deal with it, move on. It wasn't until 2020 that I was finally ready to address the impact that those years had on me, and it wasn't pretty.
If something happens to you, if you see something, if you hear something, if you feel something and that something makes you uncomfortable, address it. Talk about it. Don't hold it in. If the thought of that something makes you tense up, makes your stomach turn, makes you sad, hurt, angry, or anything negative, don't ignore it. Don't bury it. If you run from it, it'll eventually catch up with you.
We don't do a very good job of this as adults. We don't want to admit something hurt us, so we keep it to ourselves. We don't want to admit that we might need help, so we keep it to ourselves. We sometimes might not admit that something angered us so we keep it to ourselves because we feel if we talk about it, others might disagree and because a lot of us don't like conflict, we keep it to ourselves. But just like anything else, your thoughts, your concerns, your opinions, your feelings are absolutely valid. Don't keep it in. You are only hurting yourself when you do this. I know this firsthand. Don't make the same mistakes I made in the past.
If you haven't listed to my “2015-2016” podcast yet, do that before listening to this podcast. Here's the LINK. 2015-2016 covers many items going on all the way back to 2005 but the main topic of that podcast is addictions/substance abuse issues that steam from untreated mental health issues. Fortunately, I don't know what addiction is like, unless you consider my prior caffeine need an addiction. Over the years, I've managed to, personally, stay away from alcohol abuse, heavy drug use, cigarettes, gambling...you know…all the vices. I saw the negative affects those vices brought and decided I didn't want any part.
This interview was conducted with a good friend of mine, Carl Goodwin, who had an opioid addiction and was able to overcome that addiction to get his life back on track. In the podcast, Carl kept referring to himself as the "worst drug addict ever" claiming that he wasn't a good drug addict because he's a hypochondriac. Carl has a fascinating story to tell and my hopes are that you are able to listen to Carl's story and understand the seriousness of addictions/substance abuse and the seriousness of not addressing mental health issues. If you are currently struggling with an addiction or substance abuse problems, please go get help. If you don't have any addictions or substance abuse issues, but struggle with mental health problems, go get help. Don't turn to alcohol or drugs or whatever. Go get help for you and for those that care about you.
We all like to use Social Media to present our good times. Our smiles, the places we go, and our accomplishments. But behind those pictures are real stories of real people that aren’t so great. I have many happy pictures of me during tough times that tell a different story than what was actually going on.
In my most recent podcast called “2015-2016”, and no I couldn’t think of a better name, I talk about the wild ride that was 2015-2016 in my life. It actually dates back to about 2004 but it all comes crashing down in 2015 and 2016. This story deals with #opiodaddiction, #alcoholism, what happens when we don’t address our #mentalhealth issues, #toxicrelationships, #emotionaldetachment, #emotionaltrauma, #grief, #forgiveness, can’t help someone that doesn’t want to be helped, and death. Lots of death.
I share my story with you just in case you are going through similar struggles. I want you to know that you aren’t alone. If you’re going through some stuff right now, reach out to someone and talk to them. Get professional help. Talk therapy has helped me tremendously and I recommend it to anyone that’ll listen. Take care of yourself.
“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be Kind. Always.”
- Robin Williams
I will always tell you that I am not a professional nor a doctor, I am just a guy talking about his mental health issues. However, for this podcast, Kelvin Durant of A New You Counseling Center and A New You Speaks joins me to discuss mental health from a professionals point of view.
For more information about Kelvin's practice, please visit A New You Counseling Center or find him on Facebook. A New You Counseling Center is located at 901 West Evans St Suite B, Florence, SC 29501 or you can reach his office via phone at 843-799-0088.
Here's what we discussed:
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What's the difference between a psychiatrist, a psychologist, a therapist, a counselor, a shrink?
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What is depression from a clinical point of view?
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What is anxiety from a clinical point of view?
-- Kelvin talked about FEAR which is False Evidence Appearing Real
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What are some of the main factors that contribute to mental health issues?
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For mental health issues, what are your recommendations for treatment other than meds?
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What are some sign’s your friends or loved ones might have mental health issues?
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What’s the appropriate way to approach friends or family that might need help?
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What are some misconceptions about counseling that you've heard over the years?
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What's a typical counseling session like with you?
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What's your job as the counselor for the patient?
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How long are counseling sessions? How many meetings are needed?
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What do you want or what are you looking for from a patient as they are talking to you?
--Kelvin mentioned SNAP which is Strengths Needs Abilities Preferences
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Can you tell when patients are “holding back” when they first see you?
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Do you have a success story of one of your male clients that was hesitant to get help but finally did and has benefited for it?
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Why do men tie their jobs to their self-worth?
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Why men are less inclined to seek help more so than women - why do men "keep it in" more so than women?
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Men are hesitant to seek help for many reasons, if there’s someone on the fence out there, what advice or word can you say to them to get them to get help?
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If money is an issue for someone - what kind of mental health services are out there that are low cost or even free?
www.parttimestruggle.com - contact@parttimestruggle.com
mensmentalhealth #mentalhealth #depression #prozac #anxiety #counseling #therapy #medication #journaling #exercising #midlifecrisis #mentalhealthpodcast #mentalhealthblog #professionalhelp #therapist
A subject that I don’t see come up very often when I am researching mental illnesses is what to do if you are living with someone with a mental illness. What does one do that has a spouse, a friend, a family member that has or potentially has a mental illness? I want to try to shine a light on this to not only help those with the mental health issues, but also, those that are living with or loves/cares for someone with a mental disorder.
You've heard my side of the story when it comes to mental illnesses, in this episode my wife, Miranda, joins me to discuss what it's like living with someone with mental health issues. It's important to remember that when we have our bouts of mental health struggles, that there are family members that live it too, just from a different point of view. Those of us with with mental health issues need to be cognizant of those living with us and make sure that we communicate properly with them so that they understand how we are feeling and why...don't leave them in the dark.
For those living with someone with the mental illness, know that they are sick. Know that that person doesn’t want to feel like they feel and would do anything to get out of that state of mind. Don’t take it personally when they become depressed. Talk to them. Tell them you want to help. Tell them that you love them and that it won’t be like this forever, they’ll pull out of it and when they do, you’ll be there for them.
www.parttimestruggle.com
Am I going through a mid-life crisis? What exactly is a mid-life crisis? Is a mid-life crisis a bad thing? Find out in this episode as my wife, Miranda, joins me to discuss my current position in life. I ask her the hard questions and she gives me the honest answers.
Read more about the origins of a mid-life crisis on my website, www.parttimestruggle.com.
It's becoming painfully obvious since I've started podcasting that I mispronounce words...a lot. Not only do I mispronounce them, I straight up butcher some words. It's bad, I know it. Norepinephrine for example, is a word that shook me real good. You'll hear me straight up murder that word in the above podcast. But...that's a flaw of mine. I'll work on it. I'll get better at pronouncing words and podcasting in general.
A year or two ago, stumbling over words or butchering words would have been enough for me to not continue. I'd let the thought of failure, imperfection, someone saying, "he's a damn idiot", stop me from my message. I wouldn't want my family, my friends, the world to know of my flaws, my weaknesses, my vulnerabilities. But...part of my message is leaning into those flaws, leaning into imperfections. And I might be an idiot...
My message is that I want to normalize talking about the not so great things in our lives. Normalize talking about your struggles. Normalize talking about your weaknesses. Tell a friend, tell a family member what's worrying you, what's on your mind. Don't hold it all in. Your mental issues will consume you if you don't learn how to mange it.
No matter how bad ass or tough you think you are, if you are struggling, you are at the mercy of those issues. Take control of your life. Take control of your struggles. If you don't know how, reach out to me at contact@parttimestruggle.com. I'm not a professional but I'll do what I can to point you in the right direction for help.
Talking, yep, it's as easy as that. No, but really, talking about your feelings, your emotions...that's not easy. You become vulnerable, you expose your weaknesses, your securities...I get it, it's not fun. But I can tell you that talking about and expressing your emotions can have such a positive impact on your mental health. It takes skill to do this and the only way to build up that skill set is to practice, practice, practice.
In this episode I talk about...talking...communication. Talk to your spouse, talk to your family, talk to your friends. Vent, let it out. You'll thank yourself later.
In this episode I discuss my journeys with antidepressants and how I finally landed on Prozac as the drug for me. I also discuss how medication alone won't solve all of your struggles. Medication is just one tool in the tool belt.
Exercising has been a cheat code I've used for a while, however, it wasn't until recently that I started using it for the right reasons. In this episode I will discuss how/why I used to exercise and my new goal(s) with exercising. I have added some helpful link at www.parttimestruggle.com that cover exercising in more detail.
Journaling has been one of the more helpful cheat codes that I have applied to my life. In this episode I talk about how I journal, the benefits of journaling, and the science behind journaling's positive impact on mental health.
I hope you are able to take away something positive from this episode and are able to apply it to your life to help with any struggles you might be having.
In this episode I talk about my experience with professional counseling and how counseling has helped me tremendously with my mental health struggles. I also go over, in detail, what it's like from the first phone call to a counseling center to walking out the door of my last counseling session.
I hope this episode helps ease any concerns or hesitations one might have if they are "on the fence" about seeking professional help. My advice...GO GET IT!!
In this episode I talk about making changes in my life that started with me, holding myself accountable for my actions, my words, my choices. We all have areas in our life in which we can improve and in this episode I talk about the changes I made, why I made them, and the outcome of those changes.
I hope that you are able to find something positive from this episode and, in some small way, apply it to your life.
Ask yourself these questions...how much of my anxiety is caused by the pressure that I put on myself? How much of my anxiety is manufactured by me, due to the pressure that I put on myself? After you listen to the podcast, write down your anxiety triggers and then dig into the root cause of those anxieties. Determine if those triggers, your anxieties, are due to pressure or expectations that you put on yourself.
In today's episode, I will be discussing anxiety, generalized anxiety disorder, my anxiety, and what I do to help manage my anxiety. My hopes are that you hear this and apply some of my methods to your daily routine in an effort to help with your anxiety.
www.parttimestruggle.com
contact@parttimestruggle.com
I am not a professional, I am just a dude talking about his mental health. In this weeks episode I discuss depression, my depression, and what I do each day to manage my depression. My hopes is that I can reach someone out there that might be struggling that hasn't yet found the help they need. I hope this podcast and the accompanying blog will show you that you aren't alone. There are others that have depression and that there are ways to manage your depression.
www.parttimestruggle.com
What is Part-Time Struggle?
Hi! My name is Matthew Tarlton. I started Part-Time Struggle as a forum to discuss struggles in my life that you may or may not relate to. I wanted a way to connect with others, and thought of creating a multi-content site just for that. You can call it a blog, or a vlog, or a podcast, or just a website. You pick. My main goal of this blog-vlog-podcast-website site is to connect with others that have struggles from time-to-time. I want to hear about them. I want to hear about you. I'd like to share your story.
The success of this won't be dependent on likes or subscriptions or making money. The success of my blog will be the fact that I put myself out there. The fact that not only did I put myself out there, I put myself out there honestly and genuinely. The success of this site will be the fact that I am able to talk about and research items I find interesting. Absolute success will come down to, "did I find joy in this and did I connect with others in a positive way"?
*Disclaimer - I am not a professional at any of this. There's a great chance I'll post productions that aren't good and might be outright bad. I apologize in advance.
Contact:
email - contact@parttimestruggle.com
twitter - @parttimestrugg
Instagram - @parttimestruggle
www.parttimestruggle.com