Just Ask!: Recent Episodes
Karleen Savage
Karleen is a trailblazer in the realm of relationships. As the creator of the Savage Theory of Resolution®, a five-skills model that can be used to resolve any conflict, she simplifies the mysterious world of mediation, hostage and crisis negotiation into palatable action steps for every person to use in their everyday interactions. She is decades deep into parenting and long standing relationships. Karleen has been featured on MSNBC for her knowledge in hostage and crisis negotiations, has been the Editor's Pick on her TEDx talk on curiosity, has been a guest on more than 30 podcasts, and has taken center stage for business and professional keynotes. Her website: KarleenSavage.com
What are the 10 commandments for making marriage work. Prayer is the first that makes it work, but it's praying for them in a deep and soulful way. How connected do you get when you pray for them, and do you pray for Just them? Let's talk about it.
When we're a young married to married for decades, what is marriage then and now? Well, what is marriage in a 10-minute soundbite, right?
In honor of my 100th episode, and still not knowing where I'm going or what I'm doing with this podcast, I'm grateful. In my quiet space, away from the noise and outside expectations, I share my thankfulness. Seems appropriate in October, at the threshold of November! Hugs,
I'v been mediating for seven years. I've been retraining in a new state and the wilds I am learning. If you've done something for awhile, how do you make it something new?
The curse of being judgmental, or is it? How do you decide how to associate or stay away from trouble without judging others? It's something I've been thinking about for awhile and I think I've found the first phase of what it looks like in a truthful way. Tell me what you think.
What connects you to your identity? I found myself alone for a few days and it got me thinking about what identifies me. I had to catch myself and redirect. It's something we do in conflict resolution. I share it here.
Met an absolutely delightful woman who most would consider quirky, but she was a teacher for me.
This is a personal habit I've been doing for nearly 30 years. It helps me counteract all the negativity that seems to try and overtake life.
These are episodes where we talk about these topics from a conflict resolution standpoint. Certainly, all the obvious concerns come up, but what else can it be?
A hot topic on housekeeping. This husband is frustrated about a messy house. Should we string him up or have sympathy?
If we're redefining abuse for men, be cautious because now it can be pointed at you as well. If he did what you do, would it, could it be called abusive behavior?
What do you think when a single guy works every weekend. Is it because he wants to or because he's single?
Is having my Wife and Mom go away together a good idea? Hmmm, let's find out in under 10-minutes
Questions that are coming and being answered in 10-minutes or less. Not everything, but a good solid soundbite. This one has my heart.
There is a real stereotype with many occupations, like truck drivers. So, let's talk it through and take a listen to how I would encourage you to face that real and true feeling.
Imagine what could happen, or instead of imagining, try this affirmation all day for one day. Use something like, at each stop light I will say this affirmation or each time I go to the restroom, I will say this affirmation. Use those as triggers to use this affirmation to build a solid marriage. Let me know how it goes.
How can you consider resolution in a conflict like this. You might be this person, might be friends or related to someone with something like it. What could you do to support like a resolution champ? Find out here.
So much here, but let's take a look at how conflict and resolution reside in this question from a wife.
Shock and disbelief as one woman asks what kind of a man tells his wife to not talk to him so he can have a good weekend!? Well, let's unpack if this is possible and if so, how?? Where conflict and resolution reside
It almost sound ridiculous that parents might dismiss you wanting to talk about your traumas from childhood, but it's true and here are a few reasons why.
So much packed in this question. The answer is absolutely they can accidentally traumatize their children, but there is an even larger concern when I read this question. Take a listen from a conflict standpoint.
A worthy questions deserving of a thoughtful response. I look at things through the lens of conflict resolution. See how I sort information.
If there is a "right" answer to when a SAHM should be up and ready, here it is! Listen and see if you agree.
He wants to know if there is a time you're in a fight with the wrong person. Great question. I'd love to answer that.
She wants to know if marriage is or should be motivated by the wealth and possession a person has
She doesn't know how to stand up for herself because she can get triggered in an argument.
She doesn't know what to do about her husband who makes fun of her in front of their children because she just a homemaker. She is also scared to get a job, what can she do.
This is a trending accusation that needs to be addressed. He said there is no such thing as healthy conflict resolution with a narcissist. What do you think? I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours.
What do you think of "never, never, ever complain"? That's what someone counseled to thousands of people. Here's my take from a resolution standpoint.
One wife asks why her husband says she's a bad mom for serving breakfast for dinner. Now what?
A young writer is wondering what to do about the love of his life struggling with him working from home and wanting his time. When she doesn't get it, she destroys his work.
She's asking how to divide money after marriage: his account, her account, our account?
This is part 5 of a 5 part series on how to create that special bond and connection that is needed in a marriage that has worked more than 3 decades. Sink in and enjoy and be ready to adjust the view :-)
This is part 4 of a 5 part series on how to create that special bond and connection that is needed in a marriage that has worked more than 3 decades. Sink in and enjoy and be ready to adjust the view :-)
This is part 3 of a 5 part series on how to create that special bond and connection that is needed in a marriage that has worked more than 3 decades. Sink in and enjoy and be ready to adjust the view :-)
This is part 2 of a 5 part series on how to create that special bond and connection that is needed in a marriage that has worked more than 3 decades. Sink in and enjoy and be ready to adjust the view :-)
This is part 1 of a 5 part series on how to create that special bond and connection that is needed in a marriage that has worked more than 3 decades. Sink in and enjoy and be ready to adjust the view :-)
"What makes a great marriage?" they ask, "How have you been happy all these years?" Married more than 3 decades, it's not about "communication, trust" and all those cliches; at least not for me.
How can you give your best when you're so busy!? Find out how to use 10-minutes to make true connection with those people who matter.
What is the cost of having what we life, have and want. What is paying the price look like?
We talk so much about it, but as a conflict resolution expert, I rarely see it. So, just where did it go and how do we find it again?
There is a new trend in suicide. You can't prevent suicide, but you can be proactive and here's how.
Something hit me this week. Is it okay to want - like want more? Listen to what happened and how I filtered through the ideas. Let me know what you think.
I've been listening to my past episodes and this is what you can do to get the most out of me. I'm still figuring things out so, this might help.
Got together with our sons and began hearing stories of their perspectives. It was fun and interesting to turn the mirror on me and how I too viewed life growing up. Want to know what you can do when those times come? Take and listen and begin to talk.
She's had a secret bank account and the husband found out and he's not happy. She's been building it in case there is a divorce. She asks, "Is he right?"
The longer answer is posted in our public facebook group, Making Marriage Work (https://www.facebook.com/groups/makingmarriageworkforyoupublic), but here is a short response to a woman asking what to do about the current situation of her marriage. Here's what I said in 10-minutes, but the longer version is online.
Big picture view about #chrisrock #willsmith #jadasmith and what it means for us in our our confrontations.
A friend of mine was playing the harp and I captured some of it for YOU!! Just breathe this one in for a moment and enjoy. Messed up the intro, but so excited to get to it!
Taking questions about marriage, life and work, turning it on its head and sharing options, answers, processes and ideas to find more happiness and productivity. #resolutionstateofmind #karleensavage #howtogetalong
Taking questions about marriage, life and work, turning it on its head and sharing options, answers, processes and ideas to find more happiness and productivity.
resolutionstateofmind
karleensavage
howtogetalong
This is a #resolutionstateofmind conversation and what random thoughts go through me when I read something that is a whole new concept like embedding AI into athletics. I couldn't say it all in 10 minutes, but here's a bite.
Recorded before the Superbowl.
Inc.com article link:
superbowl2022 #conflictresolution #thinkingitthrough #kevinjryan #inc.com #incmagazine
He said, "Mom, This is how guys work out their problems; we fight". She asked me, is there another way, and here was my response for a #resolutionstateofmind
This is a truth serum, we like conflict. But there is another side of this and how you can begin having a resolution state of mind.
Dang, this Brene Brown, Joe Rogan, musicians and Spotify situation is a clear case of playing in the sandbox. If you want to see resolution in play, see how it applies to you, here is what I say Spotify should do #spotify #resolutionstateofmind #youcandothis
How to start thinking in a resolution state of mind. Here I walk through a few thoughts about the heated discussion happening with Brene cancelling her podcast based on the vaccine, Joe Rogan making statements about the vaccine and Spotify being pointed out as the responsible party. Talking through ideas.
I'm not an affirmation girl because I have a hard time saying something my mind and heart don't believe. But take a listen to how I turn this idea on its head and it works for me. If you're like me, it might work for you too!
Dang it, I hate when I am holding pride or shame at the same time that he's right!! Listen to how I have responded to get around that and still slow myself from running.
A listener asked, "Karleen, What works in a marriage when we aren't exactly like we used to be?" After more than 30 years of watching my own marriage and so many others, I share 5 of the top activities you can do to keep him/her looking your direction!!
It's those wee hours of the morning between wake up and REM that I was reminded of these 3 skills we should be teaching to our children and develop in our marriages.
A beautiful woman went bold and told her truth. Marriage is easier when there is no cheating. I walk you through how a conflict resolution expert processes before, during and after responding.
A very large organization said counseling success is extremely low, what can we do? I say, does the user understand the purpose of counseling when they use it? Come find out the difference and know how to use them.
Just because it's common, doesn't mean we have to accept it. Listen as I walk through the way it used to be for me and the way I sorted through it using conflict resolution.
Ahhh, instead of being in our heads about how to do things right or how to blend in, what if we just don't apologize for it. Here are 20 things you don't need to apologize for and how my daughters and friends taught me.
I am a complete bust when it comes to making New Year's resolutions. I know I'm not going to keep them, but I can do this instead. 8 questions I ask myself, and you can too. It's far more enjoyable.
After what feels like a worn out marriage, someone asked me this question about mine, "What was it like in the beginning?" It took me a a moment to remember back and then the flood of memories began.
My 8th gift of 8 in my holiday series: how to survive and what have you been able to do with the holidays? It's hard to know if you're doing any good, so instead we let things run around our head wondering. We wonder if it worked, wonder if it helped, wonder if we made anything better for ourself or others. So, here are a few things to look for, questions to ask to allow you to sleep at night.
My 7th gift of 8 in my holiday series: how to survive and what have you been able to do with the holidays? When all doesn't go perfectly, what can we do when things go off track. Realizing "off track" can look like anything and have many responses, but this should help a little.
My 6th gift of 8 in my holiday series: how to survive and what have you been able to do with the holidays? As someone who deals in hostage, crisis and courtrooms, talking with people experiencing anxiety is no joke. That's why I've included a simple technique to deal with those experiencing anxiety. It's easy and can take the pressure off.
Please reach out and tell me how you're doing using these gifts. Would like to hear your success story.
My 5th gift of 8 in my holiday series: how to survive and what have you been able to do with the holidays? What are the general rules of thumb, little adjustments in the mind to create a more blessed and whole holiday.
My 4th gift of 8 in my holiday series: how to survive and what have you been able to do with the holidays? There is a little info at the beginning (about 2-min) and then you learn about the signs of trouble spots that you can respond to during the holidays.
My 3rd gift of 8 in my holiday series: how to survive and what have you been able to do with the holidays? This episode is the 1 question to ask that will set you up for the entire holiday season!!
My 2nd gift of 8 in my holiday series: how to survive and what have you been able to do with the holidays?
My 1st gift of 8 in my holiday series: how to survive and what have you been able to do with the holidays? This is a quick overview of all eight in the series.
What does an un-offended marriage mean to you? A peek into how offenses (at least this one) poke and grow to become a conflict, and how I sorted through it for a minute.
"Why do you do all the things for Christmas?" she asks. Why do you or how have you?? I walk through a few ideas to help build, evolve and/or scale back the reason for the season.
It's interesting the thoughts that go through your mind when you read about a friend passing away. Are you the same, and what do we do with it: What will you do with it?
What's my background? Someone asked me recently, do you have all the answers? "Absolutely not," I said, "you do, but I can help you dig those answers out from among all the dirt going through your head."
Why would anyone want to do a podcast?? Find out why I put my hat in the ring of the podcast world (do you think it will go anywhere?).
The question that scares people to bits. It's feels like, if I ask then I'm admitting some flaw, and that's just not true. Find out what all the hubbubs (is that even spelled right?) about from a conflict resolution expert.