Episodes Archives - Shades of Strong: Recent Episodes
Shirley Hubbard & Natalyn Bradshaw
We talk a lot about what it means to be a good friend. But what happens when the support we’re giving doesn’t match what the other person actually needs?In this episode of Shades of Strong, I’m joined by best friends Alyson Brown and Mia Brinson for a heartfelt, unfiltered conversation about support in Black female friendships. From the challenges of being the “strong one” in your circle to the quiet grief of friendship breakups, this is a layered conversation about what it really means to show up — and be shown up for.Both Alyson and Mia took the Support Languages™ quiz and got Mindful Care — the language of intentional check-ins and nurturing presence. We explore how that plays out in real life, especially when friendships shift, stretch, or fall apart.Whether you’ve ever felt unseen in your friendships, questioned if you're giving too much, or struggled to receive the love you so easily give… this episode is for you.In this episode, we talk about: Why support can still miss the mark, even with good intentions What Mindful Care looks like in real friendships The grief and growth that come with friendship breakups The role of communication, boundaries, and emotional capacity Why knowing your friend’s Support Language matters more than you think And what it looks like to be fully seen — and still fully lovedConnect with Alyson Brown and Mia Brinson Follow Alyson and Mia’s podcast, Navigating Sisterhood, on YouTube Connect with Alyson and Mia on Instagram. Support this work:Loving what you’re hearing? Share this episode with a friend, rate the show, or tag me on social (@shadesofstrong) with your favorite moment.Other Ways to Be Supported: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every weekLet’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be supported Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.comRelated Episodes Finding Support in the Pause When Black Women Are Well, Everybody's Well Learning How to Hold Yourself When Nobody Else DoesShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
At 56 years old, I’m walking into a Black woman’s dream I’ve carried for decades — sitting in New York, preparing to speak with agents and an editor from one of the Big Five publishing houses… about my book.This moment didn’t come fast, but it came faithfully.And in this short, heartfelt episode, I’m reflecting on what it means to finally say yes to the calling — after years of wrestling, resisting, and wondering if it was too late.Because this isn’t just about publishing a book.It’s about legacy.It’s about healing.It’s about breaking patterns for every Black woman who’s ever whispered, “I don’t want to be strong anymore.”So if you’ve ever questioned the timing of your dream…If you’ve ever felt like you missed your moment…This episode is a gentle reminder that what’s for you is still for you.It may be delayed — but it is never denied.This is a Black woman’s dream.Delayed, yes.But still divine.Other Ways to Be Supported: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every weekLet’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be supported Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.comRelated Episodes Finding Support in the Pause When Black Women Are Well, Everybody's Well Learning How to Hold Yourself When Nobody Else DoesShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
We say it all the time — check on your strong friend — but do we really know what that means?In this Support Snippet, Shirl goes deeper than the surface-level reminder and speaks directly to what it looks like when strong Black women go quiet. When the one who always holds everyone else down suddenly pulls back. When the “I’m fine” doesn’t really mean fine anymore.If you’re the strong one, or you love someone who is, this short but powerful episode will help you think differently about how support shows up, who it’s for, and what’s hiding in the silence after we stop over-functioning.Because here’s the truth:The strong friend gets tired too.And when she stops showing up the way she always has — it’s not drama.It’s a signal.In this episode, you’ll hear: What it really means to check on your strong friend Why many strong Black women feel invisible when they stop doing The emotional weight of being “the dependable one” How silence can signal the need for support A gentle reminder that strong women deserve to be held tooWhether you’ve been the strong friend, ignored the strong friend, or realized that you are the strong friend… this conversation is for you.Because shifting from being a strong Black woman to being a supported Black woman?That’s the real work.And it starts with noticing.Need space to unpack your own strong friend fatigue?Shirl is holding space for Black women who are ready to rest, reflect, and receive support without guilt.Book a 1:1 Support Session HERE.Other Ways to Be Supported: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every weekLet’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be supported Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.comRelated Episodes Finding Support in the Pause When Black Women Are Well, Everybody's Well Learning How to Hold Yourself When Nobody Else DoesShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
Are you tired of being the strong one? The one everyone depends on but rarely checks in with? That's what we're getting into today... ewhat happens after you finally lay that weight down — when you stop over-functioning, stop fixing, stop pretending you’re okay... and the phone stops ringing.What happens when you finally stop?When you set the boundary? When you pause the all the doing?It’s quiet. But instead of peace, you’re sitting in discomfort. Maybe even grief.Because what shows up after the pause — that silence, that stillness — can feel personal.In this episode, I’m talking about the uncomfortable part of rest.The identity crisis that shows up when you’re no longer being needed every day.And the emotional shift that happens when you’ve built your worth on being dependable — and now you’re not sure who you are without it.If you’ve ever said, “I’m tired of being the strong one,” this episode will hit home. I'm diving into what it feels like to stop over-functioning, to rest, and to wrestle with who you are when being needed isn’t your identity anymore.If You’re Tired of Being the Strong One, Here’s What You’ll Hear: Why rest can feel like grief when your identity was built around being needed What it really feels like to stop over-functioning The weight of being invisible when you stop doing everything What the “but then what?” moment reveals about your support needs Why the pause is not failure — it’s the beginning of your becomingIf you’ve been asking yourself: Who am I if I’m not the strong one anymore? Why do I feel so off when I finally rest? What if nobody notices I’ve stopped showing up?This episode is for you.And if you’re sitting in that “but then what?” space — and it feels like too much to carry alone, let me hold space for you in a 1:1 Support Session. These sessions aren’t about fixing. They’re about slowing down and making room for the version of you who’s ready to be held too. Book Your Support Session HERE .Other Ways to Be Supported: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every weekLet’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be supported Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.comRelated Episodes Finding Support in the Pause When Black Women Are Well, Everybody's Well Learning How to Hold Yourself When Nobody Else DoesShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
Sometimes the support we need doesn’t come with a loud arrival or a clear answer. Sometimes, it shows up in the in-between. The pause. The waiting. The quiet moments where nothing feels certain — but you’re still held.In today’s reflection, we explore what support can look like when you don’t have the words yet. When things feel unclear. When you’re sitting in the fog, trying not to force clarity. This is about honoring the space between prayers and answers, effort and outcome. The pause is not a void. It’s a form of support too.Whether you're resting, questioning, or just catching your breath, you’re not alone in that pause. This episode holds space for the Black woman who’s doing her best to trust what she can’t yet see — and still deserves to be supported right now.Listen in and share this with someone who needs to know she doesn’t have to be “on” all the time to be worthy of support.Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every weekLet’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.comRelated Episodes When Black Women Are Well, Everybody's Well When You're All You've GotShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
You’ve put down strong. You’ve tried the self-care Sundays, the soft life rituals, the silence and the scented candles. But somehow, you still feel like you’re holding it all by yourself.In this episode of Shades of Strong, Shirl unpacks why self-care and softness — while nourishing — were never meant to replace real support. She breaks down the difference between comfort and being held, and shares why so many Black women are left feeling unsupported even while doing all the “right” things to care for themselves.You’ll hear: Why soft life vibes can feel good, but still leave you depleted The pacifier metaphor that will shift how you see comfort vs. support How Support Languages offer a deeper way to receive the care you actually need What happens when we grieve the strong Black woman identity but don’t replace it with anything real And how we can honor our mothers and grandmothers by choosing differentlyThis is a loving call-in — not to abandon softness, but to go deeper than what looks good on the surface. If you’ve ever felt like self-care just wasn’t cutting it anymore, this conversation is for you.Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every weekLet’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.comRelated Episodes When Black Women Are Well, Everybody's Well When You're All You've GotShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
This week on Shades of Strong, we’re going all the way in. I'm sitting down with Dr. Cecily Moore for a raw, layered conversation about what it really costs to carry the “strong Black woman” narrative — and what it actually takes to start living well, for real.Dr. Cecily brings her lived experience, research, and wisdom to the table as we talk about the exhaustion, the generational weight, and how so many of us are ready to put it all down. Together, we unpack: What the “strong Black woman” narrative steals from us, and why so many are finally saying, “I don’t want to do it like this anymore.” How wellness for Black women is not just individual, but communal — when a Black woman is well, everybody connected to her benefits. The emotional and cultural impact of being expected to serve, sacrifice, and hold it together — even when you’re falling apart on the inside. Why self-advocacy, boundaries, and true support are non-negotiable for our healing (and what it actually looks like in everyday life). The church, the workplace, the family — where the strong Black woman myth keeps showing up, and how we’re learning to question it. How unlearning strength-as-sacrifice is an act of resistance and the beginning of generational healing.You’ll also hear personal stories — from both Dr. Cecily and myself— about what it feels like to try to be “everything to everybody,” the grief that comes with letting that go, and the joy that’s possible on the other side.If you’re a Black woman who’s ever felt like your well-being is always last on the list, this one is for you. And if you care about Black women, it’s for you too.About Dr. Cecily MooreDr. Cecily Moore helps therapists, counselors, and helping professionals unlearn the Strong Black Woman narrative so they can move from survival mode into sustainable wellness. She’s a licensed therapist, educator, researcher, and the creator of the Reappropriate, Redefine, Recover™ framework — guiding Black women toward nervous system healing, spaciousness, and self-reclamation. Cecily is a military wife, a mom of two, and she’s never met a Strong Black Woman she couldn’t help begin the journey of unlearning that sht. Connect with Dr. Cecily Moore here.Timestamps – What You’ll Hear and When: 00:00 – Intro & Why This Conversation Matters 06:20 – Dr. Cecily’s Story: Postpartum Depression and the Cost of Strength 10:25 – Generational Strength: Grandma, Mama, and Us 15:50 – Research, Lived Experience, and the Grief of Unlearning "Strong" 17:20 – The Support Language Behind the Therapist Chair 21:31 – The Pacifier Metaphor: Replacing "Strong" with Support 24:54 – Watching Her Learn to Rest: Dr. Cecily’s Mom and the Reclamation of Joy 28:06 – Church, Faith, and the Conditioning of "Strong" 36:18 – When Strength Is Rooted in Fear: Mothering Black Boys 41:15 – Receiving as a Skill: Support Languages and Accessibility 49:00 – Final Words: Unlearning "Strong" as a Mental Health InterventionResources to Support You: Download Cecily’s Free Audio + Mindset guide: Unlearn That Sht Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every weekLet’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.comRelated Episodes What Ruth and Boaz Taught Me (That the Church Never Did) When You're All You've Got When Everything Feels HeavyShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
So earlier this week I talked about what it feels like when you don’t have anybody to reach for. But what about when folks are around — and you still feel alone? That’s a whole different kind of grief.This episode is about that space. The space where people love you, but they don’t really see you. Where the help is supposed to be there… but somehow, you’re still carrying it all.If you’ve ever looked around and thought, “Why does no one notice how much I’m holding?” — this one’s for you.What You’ll Hear in This Episode: What Being Seen feels like when it’s missing How to stop swallowing that quiet grief Real talk about what support really requiresResources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every weekLet’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.comRelated Episodes When You're All You've Got Learning to Hold Yourself When No One Else Does When Everything Feels HeavyShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
What does receiving support as a Black woman look like when there’s no one to call, no one to reach for, and no one checking in on you?In this episode, we're getting real about what it means to be your own support system when you’re literally all you’ve got. Not because you’re too proud to ask. Not because people keep letting you down. But because the support just isn’t there.I share my personal story of navigating lonely seasons, the grief that comes from having no one to lean on, and how I learned to show up for myself in the meantime. But I also speak to the ache — the soul-deep longing to be supported for real.This episode is not about pretending it’s okay. It’s about naming what’s hard, holding space for it, and finding tenderness even in the absence.What You’ll Hear in This Episode: The grief of not having anyone to reach for The difference between being strong and being supported What receiving support as a Black woman looks like without a support system The small but powerful ways grace held her through it How to start with what’s real, even when it's not enough Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every weekLet’s Stay Connected: Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.comRelated Episodes Learning to Hold Yourself When No One Else Does When Everything Feels HeavyShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
The world is a lot right now. Some weeks feel heavier than others, and this has been one of those weeks. I wasn’t about to just move like nothing was happening, so I came to the mic to sit with it for a minute.So let's pause, take a deep breath, and remind ourselves what it feels like to held. Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
Have you ever rewritten the same text five times just to make sure it didn’t sound too harsh?Ever softened your “no” so it wouldn’t feel like rejection?Ever held back your truth to avoid being called “too much”?Yeah… me too.In this episode, I’m naming the emotional labor Black women carry just to be seen as “easy.” I’m talking about the constant back-bending, the tiptoeing, the fear of being left — and how all of that is tied to the way we’ve been conditioned to over-care.I talk about the fear of being misunderstood, the pressure to be liked, the desire not to make things weird. I share what it looked like for me to stop bending, stop rewriting, and stop managing everyone else’s comfort just so I wouldn’t be left. We explore the weight of emotional labor — how it shows up in our texts, our boundaries, and the ways we shrink ourselves to stay connected. And I offer a truth that might be hard to sit with: support that costs you your peace isn’t really support.This one is for the Black woman who’s tired of carrying everyone else’s reactions.Because support should feel like ease — not emotional gymnastics. And emotional labor and support are not the same thing.Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
What do you do when you need to fall apart… but there’s no one there to hold you?This Support Snippet is me sitting with that exact question — and remembering what emotional care looked like back when I didn’t have to ask for itI’m reflecting on what emotional care looked like before life got complicated — and what it means to create that kind of care for yourself now.I’m taking you back to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches made with intention, quiet afternoons that felt like exhaling, and the kind of support that didn’t require me to be okay first. No fixing. No pressure. Just presence.These days, I’m the one everyone leans on — and maybe you are too. So I’m also naming what it feels like to carry that weight quietly, especially as a Black woman, and what it means to admit you still need to be held.If you’ve been moving through your days on autopilot, missing the kind of care you didn’t have to ask for, this episode is for you.Because emotional care for Black women isn’t optional. It’s necessary.And we shouldn’t have to hold it all in just because nobody’s offering to hold us.Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
For so many Black women, emotional safety started in the kitchen.The smell of Blue Magic, the sizzle of a straightening comb, the sound of “Hold your ear” — those weren’t just routines. They were rituals. In that chair by the stove, we found connection, care, and permission to let our guards down.Those moments — ordinary as they seemed — were often the first time emotional safety showed up for us.We didn’t always have the words for it back then, but we felt it.And these aren’t just memories. They’re reminders.Reminders that emotional safety is still possible, even if it looks different now.For Black women navigating life without those small sacred spaces, this episode is an invitation:To name the need.To remember you still deserve to be held.And to reclaim the truth that emotional safety isn’t new — it’s something we’ve known in our bones all along.Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
When we talk about loyalty, most of us think about relationships, family, or friendships. But there’s another kind of loyalty we don’t talk about enough — our loyalty to struggle.As Black women, we’ve been taught that struggle is part of who we are. That staying in relationships, jobs, or communities that drain us somehow proves our strength. That choosing ease means we’re abandoning our people, our roots, or our role as the “strong one.”Choosinng suppot is not about abandoning your people or being selfish. It’s about telling the truth: you don't owe struggle your loyalty and staying in struggle is costing you more than leaving ever will. Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
We love to romanticize Ruth and Boaz like it’s the ultimate love story — but what if it’s really a story about being supported... for once? In this first episode back after my summer break, I’m digging into the part church never talked about: the quiet power of being chosen without earning it, being cared for without proving you deserve it, and receiving without struggle.This episode isn’t about marriage or fairy tale endings — it’s about softness, legacy, and what happens when you position yourself to be supported... and then pass that support down.In this episode I share:• Why support is often missing in the way the church teaches Ruth’s story• What Ruth teaches us about positioning ourselves to be supported• Why Boaz’s role wasn’t savior — it was support• What it looks like to pass support down through generations Resources to Support You: Schedule a 1:1 Support Session Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
Let’s talk about protecting your peace — and whether that’s really what you’re doing… or if you’re just getting your lick back in silence.In this minisode, I’m breaking down the Room to Breathe Support Language™ — the kind of support that shows up as space, quiet, and the ability to step away without guilt. But I’m also naming the moments when we call it “protecting our peace,” and it’s really a low-key way of making somebody else feel the pain we didn’t say out loud.I even share a moment with my therapist that made me pause and ask myself if I was healing — or just withholding.If Room to Breathe is your Support Language, or if you’ve ever needed space but didn’t quite know how to take it without using it as a shield, this episode is for you. This episode is a reminder that space is sacred — but only when it's rooted in care, not control. You don’t have to go silent to feel safe. You can protect your peace and still stay connected to the people who love you right. Take your time. Take your breath. Just be honest about why you need it.In this episode, I talk about: What Room to Breathe actually looks like When silence becomes a weapon instead of self-care That one therapy session I’ll never forget Why relief isn’t the same as revenge How to know when your peace is real and when it’s rooted in proving Resources to Support You: Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
I’m just gonna say it — I get annoyed when I see Black women using the phrase “women of color” when I know they mean Black women.In this episode, I’m talking about why that bothers me, where I think it comes from, and what it’s actually costing us to keep softening, shrinking, or diluting our language — especially in spaces that are supposed to be built for us.I share a recent moment that made me want to reflect out loud. Not to be messy, but because I think it’s time we talk about what happens when we keep trying to make ourselves more acceptable — even in our own healing work.This isn’t about being divisive.It’s about being clear.Because when we say Black women, we’re not excluding anybody — we’re finally being honest.Resources to Support You: Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
They told us love was supposed to be everything. That if somebody loves you, that’s all you need.But how many times have you felt loved… and still felt completely alone?In this episode, I’m talking about that gap — the one between what people say and what they actually do. Because the truth is, love is not enough when it doesn’t come with support.And I get it. It’s hard to admit that out loud.Especially when you know they care.Especially when they say the right things.But if you’re still carrying everything by yourself…If you can’t fall apart without it turning into a problem…If you can’t rest without guilt or breathe without feeling like a burden…Then it’s time to get honest about what’s really missing.So if you’ve ever felt like something was off in a relationship — even when love was present — you’re not crazy. You’re not needy. You’re not asking for too much.You’re just finally telling the truth about what you actually need.And the truth is: love without support will never be enough.Let’s talk about it.Let’s talk about the difference between being told you matter — and being treated like you do.Resources to Support You: Get the Guide: "You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?" Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
Inspired by the new Netflix series Forever, this Mother's Day episode is a soft but honest conversation about what happens when fear leads the way in parenting. When love is present, but support… isn’t.This isn’t a recap.This is a reflection.Because a lot of us were raised on protection that looked like pressure. On expectations that felt like love, but left little room to breathe. And now, many of us are trying to re-parent ourselves while still holding space for the mamas who did the best they could with what they had.This episode isn’t about blame — it’s about truth.It’s about naming what was missing and choosing to offer ourselves something different.It’s about parenting — our children and our inner child — from trust instead of fear.If today feels complicated, this one's for you.Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
Today we’re talking about support yourself during the hard seasons—and what it looks like when you have to be your own safe place.Some seasons are heavy.Some days, getting out of bed feels like a miracle.Some days, breathing through the next hour is the biggest victory you’ll claim.In this episode, I’m sharing what support looks like when you’re in the thick of a thing — when there’s no map, no quick fix, and no easy way to name the weight you’re carrying.We’re sitting with the real and the raw: How support can mean letting yourself fall apart without rushing the cleanup. How being your own safe place might be the softest, hardest thing you do all day. How support during hard seasons often starts with giving yourself permission to not be okay.If you’re in a season where life feels too heavy to dress up in pretty words...If you’re breathing your way through sadness, loneliness, or silent grief...If you’re learning how to stay soft with yourself when the world expects you to be hard...This isn’t a how-to guide.It’s not a motivational pep talk.It’s a soft landing.A real-time reflection.A slow, sacred breath in the middle of the storm.Because even in the thick of a thing, even when you feel like you’re falling apart, you are still worthy of support — especially your own.Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
Today we're talking about receiving support as a Black woman—and why it still feels hard, even when it’s soft and real.What happens when someone shows up for you with tenderness and care… and your first instinct is to flinch?What do you do when support is being offered—but your body doesn’t know how to let it in?This episode started with a comment from my daughter…And what should’ve felt like joy, pride, even gratitude—turned into hesitation. Doubt. A quiet refusal to receive.So today, we’re getting into the deep, unspoken patterns around receiving support as a Black woman—especially when you’ve been conditioned to be the strong one, the giver, the safe space for everybody else.We’re talking about the ways emotional safety and mindful care can still feel like a threat, even when we want them.How support can feel unfamiliar.How softness can feel suspicious.And how healing often starts with noticing the moment you want to push it all away.If your Support Language is Emotional Safety or Mindful Care, this one might speak directly to your nervous system.Because this episode isn’t about “being open.”It’s about building the capacity to receive—slowly, gently, without guilt.So if you’ve ever felt yourself shrink when someone tried to hold you,If you’ve ever pushed love away before it could land,If you’re still learning what it means to feel safe in softness…This is your invitation to start again.To be held—without apology.One quiet moment at a time.Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
Some days the weight is real, and you’re too tired to carry it, explain it, or make it sound better than it is. For the days when the tears come outta nowhere and your body says, “we can’t keep doing this”...This is a quiet reminder that you don’t owe anyone a breakdown of why you need rest. You don’t have to clean up your exhaustion or justify your pause. You get to be tired. You get to slow down. You get to be held without performing for it.If you’ve been feeling stretched, overextended, or quietly unraveling… this one’s for you.Take what you need, and leave the rest.Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
Let’s talk about emotional exhaustion as a Black woman—and what it really means to be held.What if being held didn’t require you to fall apart first?What if it was something you could reach for before you hit the breaking point?This episode was recorded at five o’clock in the morning… no mic, no script, no prep—just me, a heavy heart, and a whole lot of truth. Because sometimes the softest, most honest thing you can do is show up exactly as you are, while you're still sitting in the weight of it.We’re talking about the quiet kind of emotional exhaustion—the kind that creeps in when you’ve been moving for so long, you forget what it feels like to ask yourself what you need.The kind that convinces you being held is too much to ask for.And if your primary Support Language is Emotional Safety…this one might hit extra deep.Because it’s hard to let yourself be held when you’ve spent your whole life being the safe space for everybody else.This one’s not about fixing it.It’s not about pushing through.It’s about pausing long enough to say,“I don’t have to perform today.”So if you’ve been carrying more than your share, if the emotional exhaustion is starting to feel like your normal—this episode is an invitation to come home to yourself.One soft moment at a time.Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
What if strength didn’t always have to come after the storm?In this episode of Shades of Strong, we’re unpacking what it means to embrace both joy and struggle—without letting one cancel out the other. Because too often as Black women, are taught that joy is something we earn after the hard part is over. That it’s the reward, not the right.But what if we flipped the script?In this episode of Shades of Strong, we’re unpacking what it means to embrace both joy and struggle as a Black woman—without letting one cancel out the other. Because too often, we’ve been taught that joy is something we earn after the hard part is over. That it’s the reward, not the right.But what if we flipped the script?Inspired by a powerful moment with my granddaughter, I explore how we’ve been conditioned to lead with the hard stuff first—and how that habit is rooted in generations of inherited struggle. But here’s the truth: your life is big enough to hold both.This episode is your reminder that: Joy isn’t selfish. Ease doesn’t mean you’re lazy. You don’t have to brace for the worst before naming what’s good.Whether you’re navigating grief, growth, or just trying to get through the week without falling apart, this one’s for you.If you’ve been struggling with embracing joy and struggle as a Black woman—or if you’ve been waiting for the next shoe to drop every time something good happens—this conversation will feel like a breath of fresh air.Pull up a chair and let’s talk about reclaiming softness, wholeness, and the audacity to lead with joy.Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack for deeper convos that don’t always make it to the mic Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
What does real support in relationships for Black women even look like?Because we know love without support is a thing—and it’s exhausting.This episode is a deep dive into what happens when you start asking for more than love… when you start asking for love that actually holds you — love that actually supports you.If you’ve ever found yourself feeling unseen or unsupported in a relationship, this episode is for you. Because support in relationships for Black women can’t be an afterthought.I’m sharing a story that still sits heavy on my heart—a moment that showed me love isn’t always enough. That moment shaped how I see relationships, and more importantly, how I receive support.You’ll also hear how knowing your Support Language™ can help you: Recognize when someone simply can’t support you Stop accepting the wrong kind of support Ask for what you need with clarity and confidenceBecause love is a feeling—but support is a practice.And support in relationships for Black women has to be intentional.After you listen, take a minute to reflect:When was the last time you felt fully supported in a relationship—like, truly held?That’s what we’re naming, claiming, and working toward in this episode.🎧 Tap in and listen now.Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack where we’re having real, behind-the-scenes conversations about redefining strength Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
Honoring your capacity is about choosing ease of exhaustion and creating space breathe, reset, and resst.What happens when the strong one needs a minute?This short episode is a reminder that honoring your capacity matters—especially for strong Black women who are always doing the most. If you’ve been pushing through, this one’s for you.This short episode is a reminder that honoring your capacity matters—especially for strong Black women who are always doing the most. I’m talking about what it means to honor your capacity, choose ease, and show up without overextending yourself. And yes, I’m letting you in on what’s been going on behind the scenes—including something I’ve been dreaming about for a long time.If you’ve been pushing through, this one’s for you.So if you’re looking for a gentle nudge to slow down, reflect, and honor your capacity without guilt—you’ll want to listenResources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best. Join Shades of Strong on Substack where we’re having real, behind-the-scenes conversations about redefining strength Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. Be a Guest on the Show www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
Getting support as a Black woman isn’t always as simple as just asking for it. Because let’s be real—how many times have people tried to “support” you, but instead of feeling lighter, you just felt drained, unseen, or misunderstood?That’s because support isn’t one-size-fits-all. There are specific types of support Black women need, but most of us aren’t getting them in the way that actually makes a difference.In this episode of Shades of Strong, we’re breaking down the five types of support Black women need—and why so many of us aren’t receiving them. If you’ve ever felt like people mean well but still aren’t showing up in a way that actually helps, this episode is for you.In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Why support doesn’t always land the way you need it to The five types of support Black women need and how they show up in real life How to stop settling for support that drains you and start getting support that actually fills you upKey Takeaways: Support isn’t just about people being there—it’s about them showing up in a way that actually matters. If you don’t know how you receive support best, it’s easy to feel like you’re always carrying it alone. When you name your Support Language™, you start making room for the kind of support that truly nourishes you.Why This Episode Matters:Black women are often expected to be strong, but real strength isn’t about doing it all alone—it’s about knowing what kind of support actually sustains you.You deserve support that feels like care, not just obligation. Let’s talk about what that looks like.🎧 Tap in and listen now.Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
Setting the tone for the week ahead isn’t about rigid schedules or pushing yourself to do more—it’s about easing into the energy you want to carry with you. Before the world starts demanding things from you, take a moment to breathe, regroup, and move with intention.What You’ll Get in This Episode: Why setting the tone for the week ahead shifts how you experience it How flow can be more powerful than force A simple way to step into the new week feeling more groundedTakeaway:You don’t have to force yourself into a rhythm that doesn’t fit. When you let things flow instead of trying to control everything, you make space for alignment to find you.Breathe. Trust. Move when you're ready. Press play and let’s ease into the week together.Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
Sometimes, even when we know exactly how we best receive support, it’s just not available in the way we need it. And when that happens, it can feel heavy—especially when we don’t know what to do with all that we’re carrying.That’s where I’ve been these last few days. And today, I just want to share a little bit of what I’m learning about holding space for myself when support feels out of reach.If you’ve been struggling to find the support you need, I see you. I feel you. And I hope this episode meets you right where you are.Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. Take this quick, insightful quiz to uncover how you best receive support. It’s the first step to shifting from struggle-based strength to strength that centers rest, play, and ease. Follow @shadesofstrong on Instagram for you daily dose of affirmations, reminders, and empowering conversations. It’s where sisterhood meets support, helping you release the weight of doing it all alone. www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
Getting Support as a Black Woman often feels like a struggle. You’re managing everything, showing up for everyone, and doing it all with a strength that people celebrate—but what happens when the support you receive still leaves you feeling unseen and unsupported?In this episode of Shades of Strong, we’re breaking down what it means to move beyond surface-level help and start getting the kind of support that truly holds you. From understanding the difference between help and support to naming what you need, this episode offers practical steps to help you feel fully supported.In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Why getting support as a Black woman often feels like settling for less. The emotional toll of receiving help that doesn’t truly meet your needs. The difference between help and support—and why knowing the distinction matters. Actionable ways to name the support that truly makes a difference in your life.Key Takeaways: Help is temporary, but true support ensures you’re never carrying the load alone. Naming your needs is the first step toward getting the kind of support that holds you. Getting support as a Black woman is about more than receiving—it’s about feeling seen and valued.Why This Episode Matters:Black women are often celebrated for their strength while their needs are overlooked. This episode is about breaking free from the cycle of “just enough” and stepping into a space where you’re fully supported, fully seen, and fully valued.Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
Letting go isn’t always easy—especially when you’ve poured so much of yourself into something. But gripping tightly to an outcome that’s already shifting away will only leave you stuck, frustrated, and drained.This week, we’re releasing the need to control every outcome. No more forcing. No more fighting for what’s already walking away. Instead, we’re making peace with the unfolding and trusting that what’s meant for us will always find us.What You’ll Get in This Episode: A few reasons letting go of outcomes feels so hard Why trying to force what’s already shifting only leads to more struggle A shift in perspective that will help you breathe a little easier this weekTakeaway:There is peace in letting go. Holding on too tightly—whether to plans, people, or expectations—can feel like security, but often, it just keeps us stuck. This episode is an invitation to loosen the grip, trust the unfolding, and find peace in what’s already shifting. Because sometimes, the freedom we’re searching for isn’t in getting what we want—it’s in releasing what was never ours to hold.Affirmation for the Week:"This week, I release the need to control every outcome. I trust that what’s meant for me will find me. I find peace in the unfolding."Take a deep breath and press play.Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. Take this quick, insightful quiz to uncover how you best receive support. It’s the first step to shifting from struggle-based strength to strength that centers rest, play, and ease. Follow @shadesofstrong on Instagram for you daily dose of affirmations, reminders, and empowering conversations. It’s where sisterhood meets support, helping you release the weight of doing it all alone. www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
Black women are often celebrated for their strength, their ability to handle everything, and the way they show up for everyone else. But what happens when you’re left feeling unseen as a Black woman—recognized for what you do, but never for who you are?In this episode of Shades of Strong, we’re unpacking the emotional toll of being unseen and exploring what it means to reclaim your visibility. From the exhaustion of always “being on” to the importance of recognizing yourself first, this episode offers tangible ways to step into a space where you’re valued beyond what you give.In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Why Black women are often seen for their strength but not their softness. How the emotional weight of always “being fine” impacts your well-being. Why being seen starts with recognizing yourself before others can. Simple ways to reclaim your visibility and let others see you, not just what you do.Key Takeaways: Being seen isn’t just about how others treat you—it’s about how you treat yourself. Strength is only part of who you are—you deserve to be seen in your fullness, including your softness and needs. The first step to making sure others see you is ensuring that you see you.Why This Episode Matters:Feeling unseen as a Black woman isn’t just about external validation—it’s a deeply ingrained pattern rooted in generations of being celebrated for labor instead of humanity. This episode is about unlearning the belief that you have to earn your worth and stepping into a space where you are seen, supported, and valued for who you are.Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
Releasing the pressure to be more means letting go of the idea that you have to earn your worth. The constant striving to do more, be more, or fix yourself only leaves you feeling drained and disconnected. That weight was never yours to carry.It’s time to put down the pressure of chasing, proving, or fixing. Instead, let’s take a moment to regroup and connect with what’s already here. Wholeness isn’t something you achieve - it’s something you remember.What You’ll Get in This Episode: Why releasing the pressure to be more changes everything How groundedness helps you reconnect with your truth A simple way to walk through this week feeling lighterTakeaway:When you release the pressure to be more, you make space to connect with yourself in a deeper, more meaningful way. Wholeness isn’t something you achieve; it’s something you embrace. Nothing is missing, and nothing needs to be earned.Affirmation for the Week:"This week, I walk in my wholeness. I embrace my enoughness. I am complete, just as I am."Take a deep breath and press play.Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
Reclaiming support for Black women isn’t just about breaking free from society’s expectations—it’s about creating space for what you truly need in your life, relationships, and daily experiences. In this episode of Shades of Strong, we’re diving into the top two Support Languages™ that Black women are craving right now: Room to Breathe and Mindful Care.These results from our Support Languages™ quiz are more than just numbers—they’re reflections of the weight we’ve been carrying for far too long. They’re saying, “We deserve space. We deserve care. We deserve to feel human again.”In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Why Room to Breathe is about more than just a quiet moment—it’s about emotional, mental, and spiritual space. What Mindful Care looks like in real life and why it’s more than grand gestures. How knowing your Support Language™ helps you build better boundaries and relationships. Why reclaiming support starts with naming what you need and teaching others how to show up for you.Key Takeaways: Support isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity. Naming your needs is the first step to reclaiming your space and care. Room to Breathe and Mindful Care are about more than society—they’re about how the people closest to you show up (or don’t).Why This Episode MattersFor generations, Black women have been the backbone of everything—families, communities, movements. But holding everyone else up often comes at the cost of our own well-being. This episode is an invitation to unlearn the lie that says, “You have to carry it all alone,” and to start reclaiming the support you’ve always deserved.Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
Reclaiming joy as a Black woman is about remembering that you’re not too grown to laugh, play, and feel light again. When’s the last time you laughed so hard you couldn’t breathe? Or did something just for the joy of it - no agenda, no productivity, just pure fun?Sis, if it’s been a minute, this episode is for you. Life has a way of keeping us busy, stressed, and always on the grind, but that doesn’t mean it has to steal your joy.In this short and sweet Soulful Sunday episode, we’re calling in play. Because play isn’t just for kids - it’s a necessary part of life, especially for Black women who are so used to holding it all together.What You’ll Get in This Episode: Why reclaiming joy as a Black woman starts with letting yourself play How reconnecting with joy can refill your cup and lighten your spirit A simple challenge to invite laughter, lightness, and fun back into your life this weekTakeaway:You’re not too grown to play, sis. Joy is your birthright, and play is how we remind ourselves that life is meant to be enjoyed—not just endured.Affirmation for the Week:“This week, I choose joy. I invite laughter, lightness, and play into my life. I deserve to feel free, happy, and whole.”Resources to Support You: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
Emotional support for Black women hits differently when you let go of the "I got it" mindset. Black women carry so much—juggling careers, families, and life while often telling themselves, “I’ve got it.” But what happens when we hold onto the “I can handle it all” mindset for too long?In this week’s episode of the Shades of Strong Podcast, we unpack the emotional toll of doing it all alone and explore how making space for support can transform the way we live, love, and show up in the world.Inspired by the stories passed down through generations of Black women, this episode dives into: Why many of us resist asking for help, even when we need it most. The cost of carrying expectations we were never meant to bear. How letting go of hyper-independence creates room for the support we’ve always deserved.In This Episode, You’ll Learn: The generational roots of the “I’ve got it” mindset and how it shows up today. The emotional, physical, and relational costs of trying to do it all. Why naming your needs is a radical act of self-care and liberation. How the Support Languages™ framework helps Black women communicate their needs and build meaningful, supportive connections.Key Takeaways: Just because you’ve been doing it all doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it. Asking for help doesn’t make you less capable—it makes space for the support you deserve. Knowing your Support Language™ empowers you to guide others in showing up for you in ways that truly matter.Why This Episode Matters:Black women have often been conditioned to be the “strong one,” but strength isn’t about doing it all alone—it’s about knowing when to let go and let others in.This episode highlights the importance of emotional support for Black women and how Support Languages™ offers a culturally relevant way to name your needs and invite deeper connections.It’s an invitation to release the “I’ve got it” mindset and rewrite the story of strength—because, sis, you were never meant to carry it all alone.Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
Black women friendships are powerful, but sometimes the support we give and receive doesn’t fully meet our needs, leaving us feeling unseen and unheard. In this week’s episode of the Shades of Strong Podcast, we explore why supportive friendships matter, and what to do when the support isn't giving what it's supposed to give. Black women deserve friendships that truly see them. Inspired by a powerful scene from Being Mary Jane, we explore: The emotional labor many of us carry alone The gaps in mismatched support The importance of safe spaces where we can let our guard down and just beIn This Episode, You’ll Learn: The emotional toll of being “the strong one” and why it leaves us drained. How mismatched support keeps Black women feeling isolated. The importance of safe spaces where you’re seen, heard, and held. Why naming your needs through Support Languages™ is the first step toward real connection.Key Takeaways: Most people mean well but don’t know how to support you in the ways you need. Knowing your Support Language™ closes the gap between the care you give and the care you receive. Black women deserve relationships that feel like home—where support is mutual and meaningful.Why This Episode Matters:This episode shines a light on the unique struggles Black women face when it comes to support while offering a culturally relevant solution in Support Languages™. It’s not just about pointing out the gaps—it’s about empowering you to close them, name what you need, and start asking for the support you truly deserve.It’s a call to action to stop settling for surface-level support and start building relationships that feel like home. Because every Black woman deserves to feel seen, heard, and held—without judgment, without struggle, and without being dismissed.This conversation is a powerful step toward creating that reality.Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
Support for Black women isn’t just a concept—it’s a necessity, especially for those of us who feel like the weight of the world is always on our shoulders.So, let’s talk about the kind of support for Black women that uplifts —the kind you actually need, not the kind that leaves you feeling drained, unseen, and unheard. In this episode of Shades of Strong, we’re diving deep into why the help you’ve been getting isn’t landing and how you can start asking for support that truly serves you.As Black women, we’ve been conditioned to carry the weight of the world, holding it all together while quietly struggling under the pressure. But that narrative stops here. This week, I’m introducing you to Support Languages™, a culturally relevant framework designed to help you name your unique support needs.Tune in to learn: Why surface-level support feels so unfulfilling. How to identify your Support Language™ and what it reveals about how you receive care. Practical steps to stop settling for less and start getting the help you deserve.If you’ve ever felt like you’re carrying it all alone, this episode is for you.What You’ll Learn in This Episode: The emotional toll of hyper-independence on Black women. How Support Languages™ can help you communicate your needs effectively. The transformational power of knowing what kind of support actually works for you.Why This Episode Matters:For too long, Black women have been the backbone of their families and communities, expected to give endlessly without asking for anything in return. This episode shines a light on the invisible burdens we carry and offers a pathway to reclaiming support that feels like care, not obligation.Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Take the Support Language™ Quiz. Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily inspiration. www.shadesofstrong.comShirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.
Are you tired of carrying the emotional weight of being the “strong one”? Sis, you’re not alone. Shades of Strong is back, and we’re reimagining what strength really looks like for hyper-independent Black women.
In this new season, I’m sharing how this space will help you let go of the overwhelm, stop struggling in silence, and finally find strength that feels good — without doing it all by yourself.
Starting January 7th, 2025, join me every week for real, raw conversations about healing, boundaries, support, and everything in between. This is your year to breathe deeper, love yourself harder, and release what wasn’t meant for you.
What You’ll Get From the Show:
- Tools to help you stop carrying the emotional weight of “strong Black woman syndrome”
- Strategies for setting boundaries and asking for help
- Real talk about navigating life as a hyper-independent Black woman
Subscribe now and let’s redefine strength—on our terms.
📅 First episode drops January 7th, 2025!💌 Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for updates and daily inspiration: @shadesofstrong
www.shadesofstrong.com
My strong is slowing down and enjoying the simplicity of life.
As summer gradually winds down and fall begins to approach, it’s the perfect time to start thinking about how we can reflect, recharge, and reconnect with what truly matters. The transition from the busy, energetic days of summer to the calmer, cooler days of fall offers a natural pause, inviting us to slow down and tune into the rhythms of nature.
This gradual shift in seasons serves as a gentle reminder to take a step back and assess our own rhythms. Have we been moving too fast, caught up in the hustle, and neglecting our well-being? Or have we been stuck in a rut, feeling disconnected from our passions and purpose? As the days become shorter and the air crisper, it’s an invitation to realign with our inner selves, to find balance, and to cultivate a deeper sense of peace and fulfillment. It’s about embracing the ebb and flow of life, allowing ourselves the grace to slow down and recharge so that we can move forward with renewed energy and clarity.
Today’s episode is all about recognizing the importance of taking time to recharge and reconnect with what truly matters. We’ll discuss how the transition from summer to fall invites us to slow down and reflect on our lives. You’ll hear about the benefits of pausing to reassess priorities, engaging in simple activities that bring joy, and letting go of what no longer serves us. This episode will help you embrace new beginnings with clarity and purpose, and align more deeply with your true self.
Key Takeaways:
- The Importance of Reflection: Understand how taking time to reflect on your life can help you reassess priorities and align with what truly matters. We’ll explore how this practice can bring clarity and purpose to your journey.
- Recharging Your Energy: Learn about the benefits of engaging in simple, joyful activities to recharge your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Discover how these practices can help you maintain balance and prevent burnout.
- Reconnecting with Yourself: Explore the importance of reconnecting with your true self by letting go of what no longer serves you. We’ll discuss how embracing new beginnings and setting intentional goals can lead to a more fulfilling and authentic life.
Join our Upcoming “Un-caped” Workshop: If today’s topic about self-contempt and self-compassion resonates with you, join our monthly “Un-caped” workshop on the last Tuesday of the month. The next one is July 30th, and it’s a great chance to explore these themes further and connect with others on a similar journey.
Stay Connected with All Things Shades of Strong and the Black Female Experience:
– Register for the “Uncpaed” Workshop – Stay Connected and Follow us on Instagram
– Join the Shades of Strong Email Community for weekly encouragment and empowering resources
– Listener Survey: Share your feedback with usHERE.
My strong is embracing self-compassion amidst self-criticism.
Welcome to Day 22 of our “me-first” journey! Yesterday, we talked about finding hope in broken places. Today, we’re diving into the impact of holding ourselves in contempt and how it affects our journey to a “me-first” life. This step is crucial for understanding how self-criticism can hinder our well-being and reinforce hyper-independence.
Holding yourself in contempt is more than just an internal struggle; it shapes how you live and interact with the world. It’s that harsh inner voice that undermines your achievements and self-worth, and it often extends to how you view your physical appearance. Understanding this dynamic is essential for creating a “me-first” lifestyle.
Today’s episode is all about recognizing the ways self-contempt can affect your life and how shifting towards self-compassion can transform your experience.
Key Takeaways:
- The Cycle of Self-Criticism: Discover how constant self-criticism, whether about achievements or appearance, can contribute to hyper-independence. We’ll explore how this cycle reinforces the need to do everything alone and sets unrealistic standards.
- The Impact on Self-Worth: Understand how holding yourself in contempt can diminish your sense of self-worth and confidence. We’ll discuss the link between negative self-perceptions and the difficulty of embracing a “me-first” mindset.
- Shifting to Self-Compassion: Learn practical strategies for moving from self-criticism to self-compassion. We’ll talk about the importance of celebrating achievements, practicing daily affirmations, and engaging in activities that reinforce your self-worth
Join our Upcoming “Un-caped” Workshop: If today’s topic about self-contempt and self-compassion resonates with you, join our monthly “Un-caped” workshop on the last Tuesday of the month. The next one is July 30th, and it’s a great chance to explore these themes further and connect with others on a similar journey.
Looking Ahead: Tomorrow, we’ll explore another important aspect of living a “me-first” life – turning pain into purpose. Stay tuned to continue this transformative journey with us.
Stay Connected with All Things Shades of Strong and the Black Female Experience:
– Register for the “Uncpaed” Workshop – Stay Connected and Follow us on Instagram
– Join the Shades of Strong Email Community for weekly encouragment and empowering resources
– Listener Survey: Share your feedback with usHERE.
My strong is finding light in the midst of darkness.
Welcome to Day 21 of our “me-first” journey! Yesterday, we talked about knowing when to walk away. Today, we’re focusing on finding hope in broken places. This step is about more than just seeing the silver lining—it’s about discovering how hope can be a guiding light even in the most challenging times.
We’ve all encountered moments when life feels scattered and overwhelming. During these times, hope can seem like a distant memory. But finding hope in these broken places is essential for rebuilding and moving forward.
Today’s episode is all about recognizing how even in our darkest moments, hope can provide strength and direction. We’ll explore how being grateful for hope can actually amplify it and how to cultivate a practice of acknowledging and appreciating hope in our lives.
Key Takeaways:
- The Power of Hope: Understanding that hope isn’t just a fleeting feeling but a powerful force that helps us rebuild and find strength amid adversity. Recognizing hope in broken places can guide us through tough times.
- Nurturing Hope Through Gratitude: How being grateful for hope can make it grow stronger. We’ll talk about how actively appreciating hope can create a positive cycle and enhance our resilience.
- Finding Hope in Everyday Moments: Discover practical ways to identify and embrace hope in daily life. We’ll discuss small signs of hope and how sharing these moments with others can reinforce our sense of hope and build supportive communities.
Join our Upcoming “Un-caped” Workshop: If today’s topic about finding hope in broken places resonates with you, join our monthly “Un-caped” workshop on the last Tuesday of the month. The next one is July 30th, and it’s a great opportunity to delve deeper into these ideas and connect with others on a similar path.
Looking Ahead: Tomorrow, we’ll explore another important aspect of living a “me-first” life – holding yourself in contempt. Stay tuned to continue this transformative journey with us.
Stay Connected with All Things Shades of Strong and the Black Female Experience:
– Register for the “Uncpaed” Workshop – Stay Connected and Follow us on Instagram
– Join the Shades of Strong Email Community for weekly encouragment and empowering resources
– Listener Survey: Share your feedback with usHERE.
My strong is know when to let of what no longer serves me.
Welcome to Day 20 of our “me-first” journey! Yesterday, we dove into focusing on what we can control, and today, we’re tackling another crucial topic: knowing when to walk away.This step is about more than just moving on—it’s about making space for what truly nurtures you.
We’ve all faced moments when staying in a job or relationship, despite its draining impact, seems like the only option. But knowing when to walk away from these situations is key to breaking free from cycles of dissatisfaction and frustration. That comfort you feel from familiarity might be more of a trap than a sanctuary.
Today’s discussion is all about recognizing when that comfort is holding you back and finding the courage to let go. We dive into understanding how clinging to what’s familiar can keep you in a cycle of dissatisfaction and how stepping away can open doors to new opportunities and growth.
Key Takeaways:
- The Real Cost of Familiarity: Understanding how staying in situations that no longer serve you can keep you from experiencing true fulfillment and growth. Knowing when to walk away means recognizing when what’s familiar is actually holding you back.
- Finding the Courage to Let Go: Practical advice on how to muster the bravery to make the tough decisions. We’ll talk about the emotional and practical steps to take when you decide it’s time to move on, and how to handle the fears and uncertainties that come with it.
- Opening Doors to New Opportunities: Discover how knowing when to walk away can lead to new, enriching experiences that align with your true desires. Stepping away from what no longer works creates room for growth and new possibilities.
Join our Upcoming “Un-caped” Workshop: If today’s topic about knowing when to walk away resonates with you, join our monthly “Un-caped” workshop on the last Tuesday of the month. The next one is July 30th, and it’s a great opportunity to delve deeper into these ideas and connect with others on a similar path.
Looking Ahead: Tomorrow, we’ll explore another important aspect of living a “me-first” life – finding hope in broken places. Stay tuned to continue this transformative journey with us.
Stay Connected with All Things Shades of Strong and the Black Female Experience:
– Register for the “Uncpaed” Workshop – Stay Connected and Follow us on Instagram
– Join the Shades of Strong Email Community for weekly encouragment and empowering resources
– Listener Survey: Share your feedback with usHERE.
My strong is focusing on things I can control.
Welcome to Day 19 of our “me-first” journey! Yesterday, we chatted about overcoming fear, and today, we’re exploring a closely related challenge—focusing on things you can control. This discussion is vital as we continue to evolve away from old, restrictive habits and toward a life where we handle uncertainties with grace and ease. Focusing on what you can control is crucial to avoiding regression into old habits that no longer serve us.
Change is challenging, especially when it surfaces fears about the unknown. But here’s the thing—we might not be able to control every aspect of our lives, but we can certainly control our responses. Today, we’ll explore practical strategies for doing just that. We’re not just talking about surviving amidst chaos but thriving by recognizing the areas of our lives where we have true agency and making intentional choices there.
Today, it’s all about learning to chill and let things flow a little. As we move away from our hyper-independent habits, we’re making room for living in a way that’s not just about surviving, but thriving. We’re talking about moving from trying to control everything to just letting go and letting life happen.
Key Takeaways:
- Empowerment Through Control: Learn about the empowering effect of focusing on areas of your life you can directly influence and the peace that comes from releasing the rest.
- Practical Strategies: I dive nto actionable ways to identify what’s within your control and how to leverage this focus to reduce stress and enhance well-being.
- Shifting Perspectives: Discover how changing your focus from what you can’t control to what you can fundamentally shifts how you interact with the world, making you more proactive and less reactive.
Join our Upcoming “Un-caped” Workshop: If today’s conversation about control and managing it resonates with you, then you won’t want to miss our monthly “Un-caped” workshop. We’ll dive even deeper into topics like this. It all happens on the last Tuesday of the month. The next one is July 30th, and I’d love to see you there. This is your chance to connect with others who are on the same journey and to really reinforce your commitment to a “me-first” life.
Looking Ahead: Tomorrow, we’ll explore another important aspect of living a “me-first” life – Knowing when to walk away. Stay tuned to continue this transformative journey with us.
Stay Connected with All Things Shades of Strong and the Black Female Experience:
– Register for the “Uncpaed” Workshop – Stay Connected and Follow us on Instagram
– Join the Shades of Strong Email Community for weekly encouragment and empowering resources
– Listener Survey: Share your feedback with usHERE.
My strong is overcoming fear to live a truly empowered life.
Welcome to Day 18 of our “me-first” journey! Yesterday we talked about embracing change. Today, we’re discussing its close cousin, overcoming the fear of the unknown. Just like change, fear of the unknown often bubbles up when we start altering long-held patterns. It’s crucial to confront and manage this fear to prevent slipping back into those familiar but limiting behaviors.
Overcoming fear is not just about suppressing our anxieties; it’s about changing how we react to uncertainty. As we’ve started the process of letting go of hyper-independent habits, we’ve created opportunities for more supportive, interconnected ways of living. Today’s focus is on understanding and managing the fears that arise during these transformative times.
Key Takeaways:
- Understanding the Fear of the Unknown: I explore why uncertainty can be so paralyzing and yet so important for growth, and how facing it can lead to a more fuffilling life.
- Strategies to Overcome Fear: We’ll discuss practical ways to confront and manage fear, ensuring that it motivates rather than hinders us.
- Building Resilience: Learning to harness our fears can significantly bolster our resilience, helping us thrive in the face of life’s unpredictabilities.
Join our Upcoming “Un-caped” Workshop: If today’s conversation about control and managing it resonates with you, then you won’t want to miss our monthly “Un-caped” workshop. We’ll dive even deeper into topics like this. It all happens on the last Tuesday of the month. The next one is July 30th, and I’d love to see you there. This is your chance to connect with others who are on the same journey and to really reinforce your commitment to a “me-first” life.
Looking Ahead: Tomorrow, we’ll explore another important aspect of living a “me-first” life – letting go of control Stay tuned to continue this transformative journey with us.
Stay Connected with All Things Shades of Strong and the Black Female Experience:
– Register for the “Uncpaed” Workshop – Stay Connected and Follow us on Instagram
– Join the Shades of Strong Email Community for weekly encouragment and empowering resources
– Listener Survey: Share your feedback with usHERE.
My strong is embracing change to live a truly “me-first” life.
Welcome to Day 17 of our “me-first” journey! Yesterday, we tackled breaking generational curses. Today, we shift gears to discuss embracing change. Change often follows once we start dismantling old patterns, and it’s important to handle it well to avoid reverting to those old habits.
Embracing change isn’t just about dealing with the new—it’s about truly transforming our approach to life’s challenges. As we’ve started to break away from ingrained behaviors, like hyper-independence, we’ve opened up space for new ways of living. Today, it’s all about learning to roll with the punches and adapting to change in a way that strengthens our “mee-first” lifestyle.
Key Takeaways:
- Understanding the Nature of Change: I dive into why change is so uncomfortable, yet so necessary for personal growth, and how it can lead to a more fulfilled and balanced life.
- Connecting Personal Change to Broader Growth: I share insights from my own life about the drastic changes I’ve faced, like diving into entrepreneurship and facing the hardships that followed, to illustrate how embracing change has been pivotal for my personal and professional development.
- Actionable Steps for Adapting to Change: Discussion on practical strategies to handle change effectively, ensuring it leads to positive outcomes instead of overwhelming us.
Join our Upcoming “Un-caped” Workshop: To explore these themes further and gain more tools for handling change, , join us at the Un-caped workshop on July 30th.We’ll dive deep into strategies for not just surviving but thriving through changes in our lives. Save your seat NOW.
Looking Ahead: Tomorrow, we’ll explore another importatn aspect of living a “me-first” life – reclaiming joy. Stay tuned to continue this transformative journey with us.
Stay Connected with All Things Shades of Strong and the Black Female Experience:
– Register for the “Uncpaed” Workshop – Stay Connected and Follow us on Instagram
– Join the Shades of Strong Email Community for weekly encouragment and empowering resources
– Listener Survey: Share your feedback with usHERE.
My strong is breaking free from generational curses so I can live my best “me-first” life.
Welcome to Day 16 of our “me-first” journey! Yesterday, we explored building a meaningful legacy, and today, we’re taking an important step forward, breaking generational curses. These are patterns passed down through generations, often subconsciously, that can hold us back from fully embracing a “me-first” life.
We’re really getting into the thick of things with how generational curses, especially hyper-independence, have shaped our lives. It’s about recognizing these ingrained behaviors that no longer serve us—behaviors that we’ve inherited without even realizing. Breaking free from these patterns is a vital step toward forging healthier, more supportive futures. It’s about identifying these old habits, understanding their origins, and consciously choosing a new direction. We’re here to shift paradigms, to enhance our connections, and to build lives that truly reflect who we are and what we value.
Key Takeaways:
- Understanding Generational Curses: I look at how certain patterns of behavior, like hyper-independence, are passed down and how they impact our ability to connect and rely on others.
- Connecting the Dots: I share personal insights on how recognizing and addressing these curses has been pivotal in my journey towards a “me-first” life, illustrating with real-life examples how these patterns manifest and the steps we can take to overcome them.
- Actionable Steps for Change: I discuss practical ways to break these cycles, fostering connections that support and uplift us, and how to start implementing these changes in daily life.
Join our Upcoming “Un-caped” Workshop: To take a deeper dive into how we can consciously shape our legacy and influence future generations, join us at the Un-caped workshop on July 30th. We’ll explore strategies for breaking cycles of hyper-independence and fostering a legacy of connection and support. Save your seat NOW.
Looking Ahead: Tomorrow, we dive into Day 16, focusing on breaking generational curses, also an important aspect of creating a “me-first” life and building a meaningful legacy.
Stay Connected with All Things Shades of Strong and the Black Female Experience:
– Register for the “Uncpaed” Workshop – Stay Connected and Follow us on Instagram
– Join the Shades of Strong Email Community for weekly encouragment and empowering resources
– Listener Survey: Share your feedback with usHERE.
My strong is building a legacy that transcends material possessions.
Welcome to Day 15 of our “me-first” journey! We’ve reached the halfway mark, and today we’re talking about buiilding a legacy that matters —specifically, the kind of impact we leave behind. It’s not just about generational heirlooms or grand gestures; it’s about the everyday choices and the love we share that truly define our legacy.
Building a legacy starts with understanding its profound impact on both your life and those around you. It’s about taking the time, in the middle of life’s busyness, to consider how your actions, choices, and the love you share will echo through generations. Today, reflect on this: What kind of legacy do I want to leave? How can my daily actions contribute to this legacy? And how can I ensure that my legacy is felt and remembered? These questions will guide you toward a life of intention and purpose and help you build a legacy you can be proud of.
Key Takeaways:
- Living with Purpose: Align your daily actions with your core values to ensure your legacy resonates with authenticity and intention.
- Impact on Future Generations: Consider how your actions and the values you uphold will influence and pave the way for future generations.
- Personal Reflection: I shared a moment from my grandmother’s funeral, reflecting on the profound legacy she left through her dedication to others, and how it shaped my understanding of what I want my own legacy to be.
Join our Upcoming “Un-caped” Workshop: To take a deeper dive into how we can consciously shape our legacy and influence future generations, join us at the Un-caped workshop on July 30th. We’ll explore strategies for breaking cycles of hyper-independence and fostering a legacy of connection and support. Save your seat NOW.
Looking Ahead: Tomorrow, we dive into Day 16, focusing on breaking generational curses, also an important aspect of creating a “me-first” life and building a meaningful legacy.
Stay Connected with All Things Shades of Strong and the Black Female Experience:
– Register for the “Uncpaed” Workshop – Stay Connected and Follow us on Instagram
– Join the Shades of Strong Email Community for weekly encouragment and empowering resources
– Listener Survey: Share your feedback with usHERE.
My strong is in honoring my body as the powerful vessel it is.
Welcome to Day 14 of our “me-first” journey! Today, we’re talking about taking care of your body When You’re taking care of your body you’re also taking care of your mind and spiritPhysical health isn’t just about how you look; it’s deeply connected to your mental and emotional well-being. When you prioritize your physical health, you’re also nurturing your mind and spirit.
Taking care of your body starts with recognizing its importance to your overall well-being. It’s about making time, even in the middle of your busy life, to focus on what your body needs and how it impacts your mind and spirit. So today, take a moment to ask yourself: How can I nurture my body? What small steps can I take to feel stronger and more energized? And how can I make these actions a regular part of my routine?
Key Takeaways:
- Physical Health and Overall Well-being: Your physical health has a profound impact on your mental and emotional state. When your body feels good, you have more clarity, better moods, and the energy to tackle daily challenges.
- Beyond Appearance: It’s not just about fitting into a certain size or looking a specific way. Feeling strong, energized, and capable is what truly matters. Being physically well means having the stamina to enjoy life, whether it’s a short walk, dancing in your living room, or just feeling comfortable in your own skin.
- Personal Story: I shared my own experience with emotional eating and how it affected my physical health. Recognizing the cycle of eating my feelings and the subsequent guilt was the first step towards breaking it.
Be sure to join our upcoming Un-caped workshop on July 30th, where we’ll dive even deeper into these topics. Save your seat with the link in the show notes.
Stay Connected with All Things Shades of Strong and the Black Female Experience:
– Register for the “Uncpaed” Workshop – Stay Connected and Follow us on Instagram
– Join the Shades of Strong Email Community for weekly encouragment and empowering resources
– Listener Survey: Share your feedback with usHERE.
My strong is waking up each day with a sense of purpose and passion.
Welcome to Day 13 of our “me-first” journey! Today, we’re diving into finding a reason to wake up in the morning. It’s so easy to lose ourselves in the hustle and bustle of daily life, but this journey is about discovering what sets your soul on fire and gives you a sense of purpose beyond just your day to day obligations. We want to wake up with excitement and intention, ready to embrace the day with a fire that fuels your soul.
Finding a reason to wake up in the morning starts with reconnecting with what truly matters to you. It’s about carving out moments in your day, in the middle of the chaos, to reflect on your passions, your dreams, and the things that bring you joy. So today, take a moment to ask yourself: What excites me? What makes me feel alive? And how can I infuse more of that into my daily life?
If you’re looking to rediscover what lights you up, this episode is for you. Be sure to join our upcoming Un-caped workshop on July 30th, where we’ll dive even deeper into these topics. Save your seat with the link in the show notes.
Stay Connected with All Things Shades of Strong and the Black Female Experience:
– Register for the “Uncpaed” Workshop – Stay Connected and Follow us on Instagram
– Join the Shades of Strong Email Community for weekly encouragment and empowering resources
– Listener Survey: Share your feedback with usHERE.
My strong is finding harmony between prioritizing myself and handling my responsibilities.
Welcome to Day 11 of our “me-first” journey! Today we’re talking about how to balance prioritizing yourself with managing your responsibilities. It’s about integrating self-care into your daily routine without neglecting your commitments.
In priortizing yourself, it’s important not to use self-care or “me-first” as excuses to dodge responsibilities. You know, it’s easy to get caught up in saying “I’m in my me-first era” and end up putting off things that really need attention. Finding that balance means knowing when it’s real self-care and when it’s just avoiding things that need to be done. When we take care of ourselves alongside handling our responsibilites, it helps us tackle challenges head-on.
If you’re ready to balance prioritizing yourself with managing your responsibilities, this episode is for you. Be sure to join our upcoming Un-caped workshop on July 30th, where we’ll dive even deeper into these topics. Save your seat with the link in the show notes.
Stay Connected with All Things Shades of Strong and the Black Female Experience:
– Register for the “Uncpaed” Workshop – Stay Connected and Follow us on Instagram
– Join the Shades of Strong Email Community for weekly encouragment and empowering resources
– Listener Survey: Share your feedback with usHERE.
My strong is starting each day with a morning routine that centers my well-being and sets a positive tone for the day.
Welcome to Day 11 of our “me-first” journey! Today, we’re diving into the importance of creating a morning routine that centers your well-being. It’s all about starting your day with intention, dedicating time to yourself, and setting a positive tone for the rest of the week. By establishing a me-first morning routine, you honor your needs and create a foundation of self-care that supports your overall well-being.
Creating a morning routine is about giving yourself permission to start your day with intention and care. This involves embracing activities that nurture your mind, body, and spirit, setting a positive tone for the rest of your week. By doing this, you build self-trust, emotional strength, and a deeper sense of self-worth. This me-first routine enriches your journey and provides a solid foundation for personal growth and resilience.
If you’re ready to start creating a fulfilling Saturday morning routine, this episode is for you. Tune in to learn how embracing a me-first morning ritual can help you build self-trust, foster personal growth, and set a positive tone for your week. Be sure to join our upcoming Un-caped workshop on July 30th, where we’ll dive even deeper into these topics. Save your seat with the link in the show notes.
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My strong is recognizing and honoring my own feelings and experiences even when no one else does.
Welcome to Day 10 of our “me-first” journey! Today, we’re diving into the importance of validating your feelings and experiences. It’s all about recognizing and honoring your feelings and experiences, even when others may not, and trusting that your perspective is valid and important.
Validating your experiences is about giving yourself permission to feel and acknowledge your emotions and perspectives, regardless of external validation. This involves embracing your truth, understanding your reactions, and accepting your feelings as they are. By doing this, you build self-trust, emotional strength, and a deeper sense of self-worth. This self-validation enriches your journey and provides a solid foundation for personal growth and resilience.
If you’re ready to start validating your own feelings and experiences, this episode is for you. Tune in to learn how embracing your feelings and perspectives can help you build self-trust and foster personal growth. Be sure to join our upcoming Un-caped workshop on July 30th, where we’ll dive even deeper into these topics. Save your seat with the link in the show notes.
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My strong is creating deep, meaningful connections with others.
Welcome to Day 9 of our “me-first” journey! Today, we’re talking about building great relationships with great people. It’s all about connecting with those who uplift and inspire us, fostering meaningful connections that support our growth and well-being
Building great relationships with great people means nurturing genuine connections, celebrating each other’s strengths, and supporting one another through challenges. This practice involves actively listening, being present, and showing appreciation for the unique qualities each person brings. By fostering trust, showing empathy, and being vulnerable, we cultivate deeper, more meaningful bonds that uplift and inspire us. These relationships enrich our lives and provide a strong foundation of support and encouragement on our journey.
If you’re looking to cultivate stronger relationships, this episode is for you. Tune in to discover how nurturing great relationships can help you build deeper connections and support each other. Be sure to join our upcoming Un-caped workshop on July 30th, where we’ll dive even deeper into these topics. Save your seat with the link in the show notes.
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My strong is practicing self-compassion by embracing kindness and understanding towards myself.
Welcome to Day 8 of our ‘me-first’ journey! Today, we’re diving deep into self-compassion. It’s about embracing kindness and understanding toward ourselves, especially when we face challenges and don’t meet our own expectations.
We’ve all been there, placing unreasonable expectations on ourselves—eunrealistic demands on ourselves, seeking perfection in every decision and criticizing ourselves when we fall short. Practicing self-compassion means showing ourselves the same empathy and support we offer others, particularly during moments of self-doubt and pressure. This practice allows us to cultivate a more balanced and nurturing relationship with ourselves.
If you’re looking to cultivate more self-kindness in the midst of life’s challenges, this episode is for you. Tune in to discover how practicing self-compassion can help you embrace peace and resilience, even during hectic times. Be sure to join our upcoming Un-caped workshop on July 30th, where we’ll dive even deeper into these topics. Save your seat with the link in the show notes.
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My strong is finding quiet moments when life is loud, creating a space for peace and serenity
Welcome to Day 7 of our “me-first” journey! Today, we’re getting real about finding quiet moments when life is loud. We’re talking about how making space for peace and tranquility can change everything—bringing more balance, calm, and clarity, even when life gets hectic.
Finding quiet moments isn’t just about seeking silence; it’s about honoring yourself by embracing peace and stillness. Ever caught yourself running around trying to do everything? We’ve all been there, constantly busy to feel productive. Today, let’s unpack how making room for life’s quieter moments can change the trajectory of your life. It’s about slowing down, embracing tranquility, and living fully in the moment, allowing more balance and calm into your life.
Sis, if you’re looking to carve out some peace in the midst of life’s craziness, this episode is for you. Tune in to learn how to let go a bit and bring more ease and flow into your day. Be sure to join our upcoming Un-caped workshop on July 30th, where we’ll dive even deeper into these topics. Save your seat with the link in the show notes.
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My strong is letting go of control to find freedom and create a life of flow.
Hey there, welcome to Day 6 of our “me-first” journey! Today, we’re getting real about letting go of control. We’re talking about how releasing the need to control every aspect of your life can change everything—bringing more freedom, peace, and flow, even when things don’t go as planned.
Letting go of control isn’t just about giving up power; it’s about honoring yourself by trusting the process and finding peace. Ever caught yourself trying to control every little detail? We’ve all been there, micromanaging to feel secure. Today, let’s unpack how releasing control can flip the script on your life. It’s about focusing on what you can manage, embracing uncertainty, and living fully in the moment, allowing more freedom and flow into your life.
If you’re ready to let go of control and invite more freedom and flow into your life, you gotta tap in to this episode. Be sure to join our upcoming Un-caped workshop on July 30th, where we’ll dive even deeper into these topics. Save your seat with the link in the show notes.
Stay Connected with All Things Shades of Strong and the Black Female Experience:
– Register for the “Uncpaed” Workshop – Stay Connected and Follow us on Instagram
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– Listener Survey: Share your feedback with us HERE.
My strong is embracing vulnerability to build deeper connections and authentic relationships.
Hey there, welcome to Day 5 of our “me-first” journey! Today we’re getting real about embracing vulnerability. We’re talking about how letting your guard down and being your authentic self can change everything—making those connections deeper and life more real, even when it’s not all smooth sailing.
Leaning into vulnerability isn’t just about showing your pain; it’s about honoring yourself by being real and raw. Ever caught yourself putting up walls to shield your heart? We’ve all been there, hiding behind masks to please everyone else. Today, let’s unpack how embracing vulnerability can flip the script on your life. It’s about taking charge of your time, feelings, and energy, nurturing deeper connections, and living fully authentic.
If you’re ready to put yourself first and embrace vulnerability to show your true self, then this episode was created with you in mind. Be sure to join our upcoming Un-caped workshop on July 30th, where we’ll dive even deeper into these topics. Save your seat with the link in the show notes.
Stay Connected with All Things Shades of Strong and the Black Female Experience:
– Register for the “Uncpaed” Workshop – Stay Connected and Follow us on Instagram
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– Listener Survey: Share your feedback with us HERE.
My strong is embracing self-care rituals that protect and nurture my peace.
Hey there, welcome to Day 4 of our “me-first” journey! Today, we’re diving into the world of self-care rituals. We’ll explore how these rituals can really make a difference in your life—bringing you peace and stability when things get hectic.
Embracing self-care rituals isn’t just about going through the motions; it’s about valuing ourselves enough to prioritize what truly matters. Have you ever found yourself giving endlessly without taking time to replenish your own needs? Many of us know the struggle of neglecting our well-being while trying to meet the expectations of others. Today, we’re exploring how self-care rituals can transform your life. It’s about reclaiming control over your time, emotions, and energy, nurturing more meaningful connections, and living authentically.
If you’re ready to prioritize your well-being and embrace a ‘me-first’ lifestyle through intentional self-care practices, this episode is for you. Be sure to join our upcoming Un-caped workshop on July 30th, where we’ll dive even deeper into these topics. Save your seat with the link in the show notes.
Stay Connected with All Things Shades of Strong and the Black Female Experience:
– Register for the “Uncpaed” Workshop – Stay Connected and Follow us on Instagram
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– Listener Survey: Share your feedback with us HERE.
My strong is creating a lifestyle where my boundaries protect my peace.
Welcome to Day 3 of our “me-first” journey! Today, we’re diving into a topic that hits home for so many of us… Setting Boundaries that Stick. We’re exploring how to reclaim our time, energy, and sanity by setting boundaries that are pillars of self-respect.
Setting boundaries isn’t just about drawing lines; it’s about honoring ourselves enough to prioritize what really counts. Have you ever felt like you’re constantly giving, but rarely receiving what you need? Many of us have experienced the relentless cycle of giving without replenishment, where our own well-being takes a backseat to the demands and expectations of others. This episode digs deep into how setting boundaries can reshape your life for the better. It’s a journey of reclaiming agency over our time, emotions, and energy, fostering healthier connections and a deeper sense of authenticity in our lives.
If you’re ready to reclaim your time, energy, and sanity by setting boundaries that honor your well-being, this episode is for you. Be sure to join our upcoming Un-caped workshop on July 30th, where we’ll dive even deeper into these topics. Save your seat with the link in the show notes.
Stay Connected with All Things Shades of Strong and the Black Female Experience:
– Register for the “Uncpaed” Workshop – Stay Connected and Follow us on Instagram
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My strong is building a life where my priorities align with my passions and purpose.
Welcome to Day 2 of our “me-first” journey! Today, we’re talking about identifying priorities. We’re diving into the heart of prioritization and aligning your actions with what truly matters most to you.
Identifying priorities isn’t just about listing tasks; it’s about understanding what drives you and aligning your actions accordingly. Many of us face the challenge of balancing multiple responsibilities and expectations. Just like you, many of us find ourselves pulled in multiple directions, juggling responsibilities and expectations. This episode is all about realigning your focus, understanding why some priorities may not align with your true desires, and taking actionable steps to bridge that gap.
If you’re ready to realign your actions with your true priorities and create a life that lights you up, this episode is for you. Plus, learn more about our upcoming Un-caped workshop on July 30th, where we’ll dive even deeper into these strategies. Save your seat with the link in the show notes.
Stay Connected with All Things Shades of Strong and the Black Female Experience:
– Register for the “Uncpaed” Workshop – Stay Connected and Follow us on Instagram
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– Listener Survey: Share your feedback with us HERE.
My strong is saying yes only when it aligns with the life I’m creating for myself.
Welcome to Day 1 of the :me-first'” series! Today, we’re tackling the dark side of saying yes. Ever felt overwhelmed and exhausted from always being the go-to person? I know I have. In this episode, I share my personal journey of learning to say no and the impact it had on my life.
I discuss why saying yes all the time can lead to burnout and stress and why it’s crucial to put yourself first. I’ll give you practical tips on how to start saying no, setting boundaries, and protecting your time and energy.
If you’re ready to stop overextending yourself and create a ‘me-first’ life, this episode is for you! Plus, learn more about our upcoming Un-caped workshop on July 30th, where we’ll dive even deeper into these strategies. Save your seat with the link in the bio or check the show notes if you’re listening on the podcast. Let’s reclaim our time and energy together!
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My strong is me-first!
Introducing “Me-First,” a life-changing 30-day series designed to help you create the best “me-first” life ever. We’re not waiting until December to start making changes. It’s time to prioritize your happiness and well-being right now. Join us as we dive into daily tips and encouragement to move yourself back to the top of your list where you belong. Subscribe, share with your girls, and get ready to reclaim your life. Your journey to a “me-first” life starts today.
Stay Connected with All Things Shades of Strong and the Black Female Experience:
– Register for the “Uncpaed” Workshop – Stay Connected and Follow us on Instagram
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– Listener Survey: Share your feedback with us HERE.
My strong is sacred
Join us for this enlightening episode with Deneen Tyler as we dive into the heart of healing, focusing on the feminine experience. We explore the nuances of Black womanhood, discussing how to reclaim your power, nurture your emotions, and finding balance in feminine and masculine energy. Deneen’s insights and wisdom will inspire you to reconnect with your true self.
Episode Highlights:
- Healing the Feminine: Deneen shares her personal healing journey and provides deep insights into the roots of feminine wounds and their lasting effects on Black women.
- Impact of Childhood Experiences and Religion: Explore how childhood experiences and religious influences shape our understanding of feminine and masculine energy, and how these factors contribute to our overall well-being.
- Navigating the Duality of Energies: Deneen discusses the duality of feminine and masculine energies, emphasizing the importance of recognizing and balancing these forces in our lives.
- Addressing Toxic Masculine Energy: The impact of toxic masculine energy on the feminine experience and discover ways to protect and nurture your feminine energy.
This episode is a must-listen for Black women who want to nurture their feminine energy.
Deneen Tyler BA MDiv. is a former Mental Health professional turned Spiritual Wellness Coach. She has a Bachelor’s of Arts degree in Psychology, a Masters in Divinity and over 15 years of experience supporting adults and children with developing wellness practices. Deneen has spent the last 5 years honing her Tarot divination and skills and spiritual practice rooted in African Spirituality (to include Ancestor veneration, Altar work and the like). She currently uses Mental Health and Tarot to help women identify trauma responses rooted in “mommy wounds”. She also hosts Sistar Healing Circles to help women reprogram their mindset and habits so they can live a healthier and happier life.
Connect with Deneen: Instagram and X: @woman1sh_intuition | YouTube | Website
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My strong is finding healing and wholeness
Join us for a profound episode with Dr. LaSondra Barnes, a life and spiritual coach specializing in the effects of rejection and self-image, as we dig into the complexities of the father wound. Dr. LaSondra guides us through understanding the origins of the father wound and its lasting effects on daughters. We explore the journey from recognizing the father wound to embarking on a path of healing and self-discovery. Dr. LaSondra shares invaluable insights and strategies for healing, emphasizing the importance of self-awarness, compassion, and forgiveness.
Episode Highlights:
- Understanding the Father Wound: Dr. LaSondra Barnes provides deep insights into the origins of the father wound and how it affects individuals, particularly daughters, throughout their lives.
- How the Father Wound Shapes our Sense of Self and Independence: Dr. LaSondra Barnes explores how the father wound impacts our self-concept and sense of independence, offering guidance on reclaiming a healthy self-image without becoming hyper-independenct.
- Healing Strategies and Insights: Explore practical strategies and valuable insights from Dr. LaSondrea on how to heal from the wound, including the importance of self-awareness, compassion, and forgiveness.
Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of the father wound and learn how to navigate its impact on your life.
Dr. LaSondra Barnes is the founder and CEO of Royal One Enterprise, an empower mentor company equipping women with the confidence to embrace the ROYAL one within by discovering their purpose, embracing their identity, and engaging faith tenaciously. As a life coach, she helps women overcome the effects of rejection and self-image concerns to confidently enhance their identity narrative, build their faith, and live intentionally. Moreover, Dr. LaSondra is the Director of the Master of Arts in Ministry and Formational Leadership programs and an Assistant Professor at Lancaster Bible College | Capital Seminary and Graduate School. Dr. LaSondra holds a Doctorate in Ministry from George Fox University. She is the author of Rejected to Accepted: Learning to Love Myself After Adversity, and Host of the Royal One Podcast.
Connect with Dr. LaSondra: Instagram and X: @MsRoyalty143 Facebook: Dr. LaSondra Barnes
Links mentioned: Royal One Enterprise | Rejected to Accepted: Learning to Love Myself After Adversity | Royal One Podcast
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My strong is grace, healing and forgiveness.
Join us for a deeply insightful episode with Tigest Beyene, as she bravely shares her journey from hurt to healing. Tigest’s story is one of 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞, having endured domestic gun violence and the long-lasting effects of trauma. What makes Tigest’s story so remarkable is her realization, eight years later, that she had been 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧, 𝐧𝐮𝐦𝐛 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬. This powerful moment of self-discovery marks the beginning of her healing journey, where she learns to sit with her pain and find forgiveness. In this episode, she discusses the profound impact of her realization and the transformative power of forgiveness and community support in her healing process.
Episode Highlights:
- The Power of Forgiveness: Tigest shares how forgiveness has been a crucial part of her healing journey, sharing personal stories and practical advice on embracing forgiveness in one’s life.
- Building a Support Network: Emphasizing the critical role of community support, we explore ways to build and maintain a strong network that can help navigate through trauma, featuring Tigest’s experiences.
- Tigest’s Healing Journey: We dive deep into Tigest Beyene’s personal journey to healing, discussing the challenges she faced and the strategies she used to overcome them.
Join us as Tigest shares her personal journey from hurt to heaaling and how forgivness and community support play a vital role in her healing.
Tigest Beyene is a versatile individual, blending introversion and extroversion in pursuit of personal and collective goals. Her emphasis on actions over mere talk reflects a commitment and supporting women.
Connect with Tigest: Instagram: @lovetigest25
Links mentioned: Walk By Faith Documentary | Love, Sex and Sorrow
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My strong is revealing the truth about mental health.
Today, we’re joined by Donnita Hathaway, daughter of the legendary musician Donny Hathaway and founder of the Donny Hathaway Legacy Project, for a thoughtful conversation about navigating the many faces of mental health. In this episode, we discuss the complexities of mental health, focusing on unmasking mental health challenges and the significance of seeking support and building community. Just as Donny Hathaway’s music unmasked deep emotions and truths, Donnita continues his legacy by shedding light on mental health challenges and the importance of seeking support and building community.
Episode Highlights:
- The Hidden Struggles: Donnita shares intimate stories of hidden struggles with mental health, reflecting on key moments that have influenced her life and well-being, particularly her experiences with her mother and father.
- The Importance of Community: Discussion on the critical role of community support in fostering resilience and connection, and how to build a strong support network.
- Lifespan Perspectives: Insights into how mental health concerns vary across different life stages, from childhood to older adulthood, and the tailored support needed.
Join us for this insightful conversation on unmasking the complexities of mental health and the power of community in navigating life’s challenges.
Donnita Hathaway is the founder of the Donny Hathaway Legacy Project, which is dedicated to the memory of her father, soul singer and songwriter Donny Hathaway. This organization provides holistic mental and emotional health-related education, advocacy and essential resources that are culturally relevant and accessible to support creative artists, Black communities and young people.
Connect with Donnita: Instagram: @donnitacamille & @donnyhathawaylp
Links mentioned: Donny Hathaway Legacy Project
Stay Connected with All Things Shades of Strong and the Black Female Experience:
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My strong is priotizing my mental health.
Today, we’re joined by Aubri McKoy for a thoughtful conversation about navigating the intersection of mental health and the Black female experience. As Black women, we understand the unique challenges and pressures we face when it comes to mental health. Get a glimpse into how we navigate societal expectations and find ways to prioritize our well-being. We each share a life experience that has negatively impacted our mental and, emotional well-being, shedding light on the unique challenges faced by Black women in navigating societal pressures. We discuss the importance of seeking support and prioritizing self-care, challenging the stigma surrounding mental health in our community.
Episode Highlights:
- Impactful Experiences: We share intimate stories of our experiences and challenges as Black women, reflecting on key moments that have influenced our mental health and overall well-being.
- Prioritizing Mental Health: Discussion on the importance of prioritizing mental health and self-care, sharing strategies and practices for maintaining mental well-being in the face of societal pressures and expectations.
- Reflection on Societal Expectations: Hear how we navigate these pressures and discover practical strategies for prioritizing our well-being.
Join us as we discuss impactful experiences, prioritizing mental health, and reflecting on societal expectations related to Mental health and the Black female experience, and visit our website for simialr topics that effect our menttal health such as Breaking Free from the Ride or Die Mentality.
Aubri McKoy is a #JerseyGirl with a passion for service, community, and connection. She is an innovative thinker and strategic problem-solver, always seeking to add value to any room she enters. Her personality is the perfect demonstration of the power of and, as she has eclectic taste and is truly undefined. She is both sassy and classy; planned and spontaneous; critical and loving.
Aubri is the author of Anytime Talks, an online blog that is charged with “seeking healing through reflection.” Anytime Talks deals with a range of topics from relationships (platonic and other), coming of age, grief, triumph, and so much more. In 2024, Aubri aspires to take Anytime Talks from paper to podcast, and what better place to start than with Shades of Strong?
Connect with Aubri: Instagram: @a.u.b_ | Links mentioned: www.dfreefoundation.org/academy/
Stay Connected with All Things Shades of Strong and the Black Female Experience
Register for the “Uncpaed” Workshop | Connect on Social Media: We’re @shadesofstrong across all platforms | Listener Survey: Share your feedback with us HERE.
My strong is vulnerability and acceptance
Hey, sis! Shirl and Natty here! Today, we’re joined by Traci Neal for an impactful conversation about navigating life on the spectrum.
Traci shares her experience of being diagnosed with ADHD and Autism at the age of thirty-four and how she’s leaning into vulnerability to support her in embracing the labels, highlighting the journey of self-acceptance and growth that will certainly resonate with Black women on a similar journey.
As Black women, we know that societal norms often pressure us to suppress our emotions and mold ourselves to fit certain molds. However, Traci’s story reminds us that true strength lies in embracing our authentic selves, diagnoses and all, a message that resonates deeply with Black women who often face pressure to conform to societal norms.
Episode Highlights:
- Discovering Diagnoses: Traci shares her journey of navigating a recent diagnosis of ADHD and Autism at the age of 34, revealing the freedom and new perspectives that came with understanding herself better.
- Changing Views on Femininity and Vulnerability:How the diagnoses reshaped her perception of femininity and vulnerability, leading to a deeper understanding and acceptance of herself.
- Unmasking and Embracing the Labels: Traci shares how she embraces her diagnoses, finding empowerment and a sense of identity in the labels that she once feared.
- Blossoming Confidence: We discuss how her confidence has blossomed since receiving her diagnoses, highlighting the positive impact of self-discovery and self-acceptance.
- Life Before and After: Traci offers insights into her life before the diagnoses and the profound shifts she has noticed since, revealing a journey of self-discovery and personal growth.
Join us as we celebrate Traci’s journey and reflect on the power of self-discovery and acceptance. This episode is a testament to the power of self-acceptance and growth, highlighting the importance of embracing our true selves.
Traci Neal is a neurodivergent spoken word artist listed on Poets & Writers residing in Columbia, SC. She is featured in The New York Times, Mahogany (Hallmark) writing community, The Elevation Review, 1619 Speaks Anthology in 2023 (Sims Library of Poetry), and many other media publications. In 2023, she was a Pushcart Prize Nominee for The Elevation Review, longlisted for the African Diaspora Award with Kinsman Quarterly, the second-place poetry winner of the National Career Development Association, and the second-place poetry winner of the South Carolina Career Development Association. Neal uses her poetry platform to help bring awareness to non-profits in need worldwide.
Connect with Traci Neal:
- Website: www.tracinealspeakerpoet.com
Register for the “Uncaped” Virtual Workshop: Join us for a transformative experience where we’ll redefine strength, let go of hyper-independence, and step into our true power. Reserve your spot today.
Join SOS Sista Circle Waitlist: Ready to break free from “I gotta do it all by myself” and embrace sistahood and community? Get on the waitlist for the Shades of Strong (SOS) Sista Circle and be the first to know when enrollment starts. Join a community of Black women redefining strength and support. This is a chance for you to connect with like-minded women on a journey of balance and fulfillment. Your journey to sisterhood starts here!
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Shop our Self-care Line in the Etsy shop where self-care is an art of nurturing the heart and soul. Our tools—mood trackers, journals, self-nurturing games, and coloring pages—are crafted to elevate your inner journey, inviting you to love your inner self as much as your outer self.
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My strong is confronting the mother wound with resilience and grace.
Heeeeyyy!!! Shirl and Natty here! Today, we’re joined by Alyson Brown for a deep dive into a topic that deeply resonates with a lot of Black women, the mother wound.
Alyson walks us through what it is, how it impacts us, and strategies for healing.
We know that navigating the complexities of our relationships with our mothers can be challenging; and society often portrays Black women as strong and invincible, but we’re here to acknowledge that we also carry wounds that need healing.
Episode Highlights:
- Defining the Mother Wound: We discuss what the mother wound is and how it manifests in our lives, shaping our identities and relationships.
- Navigating and Healing: Our guest, Alyson Brown, shares her personal journey of navigating and healing from the mother wound, offering insights and wisdom.
- Perpetuating the Strong Black Woman Trope: We explore how the mother wound contributes to the strong Black woman stereotype, affecting our mental health and well-being.
- Correlation with Religion: Alyson shines a light on how religious upbringing can influence our relationships with our mothers and our views on strength and vulnerability.
Join us for this heartfelt conversation as we acknowledge the complexities of the mother wound and explore pathways to healing. This episode is a reminder that it’s okay to confront our vulnerabilities and seek healing, ultimately embracing our strength as Black women.
Alyson Brown is the creator of Healing From A Mother Wound, and the host of Shades of Brown Podcast. She is a mother wound healing coach who advocates for emotional wellness & healthy family relationships. She’s been featured on the Woman Evolve podcast and honored by Impact Magazine. Alyson is quite intentional about being a safe space for anyone she interacts with, and her podcast and mother wound healing coaching are extensions of that – safe spaces where people are seen, heard, and valued.
Connect with Alyson Brown:
- Website: www.everythingalyb.com
- IG/FB/YouTube: @everythingalyb
- TikTok: @motherwoundhealer
Register for the “Uncaped” Virtual Workshop: Join us for a transformative experience where we’ll redefine strength, let go of hyper-independence, and step into our true power. Reserve your spot today.
Join SOS Sista Circle Waitlist: Ready to break free from “I gotta do it all by myself” and embrace sistahood and community? Get on the waitlist for the Shades of Strong (SOS) Sista Circle and be the first to know when enrollment starts. Join a community of Black women redefining strength and support. This is a chance for you to connect with like-minded women on a journey of balance and fulfillment. Your journey to sisterhood starts here!
Join the Community: Join the Shades of Strong Email List, our community of like-minded Black women empowering themselves and each other. Stay in the loop on new episodes and access to insightful discussions, resources, and practical tips for Black women, addressing their unique challenges and celebrating their resilience.
Connect on Social Media: Follow Shades of Strong on social media for content exploring the Black female experience and stay updated on the latest episodes and community events. We’re @shadesofstrong across all platforms.
Shop our Self-care Line in the Etsy shop where self-care is an art of nurturing the heart and soul. Our tools—mood trackers, journals, self-nurturing games, and coloring pages—are crafted to elevate your inner journey, inviting you to love your inner self as much as your outer self.
Listener Survey: Share your feedback with us HERE.
My strong is acknowledging my mistakes and holding myself accountable.
Hey there, it’s Shirl and Natty! In this episode, we dive deep into a topic that hits close to home: acknowledging our vulnerabilities and mistakes, and the importance of taking accountability, especially within our Black female community.
We know how challenging it can be to navigate the pressures and expectations placed on us as Black women. Society often tells us that we have to be strong all the time, but we’re here to say that it’s okay to show our vulnerabilities and own up to our mistakes.
Episode Highlights:
- Embracing Imperfection: Let’s talk about why it’s okay to not get it right every time and why strength is found in our ability to learn from our mistakes.
- The Power of Acknowledgment: We share personal stories and insights on how acknowledging our mistakes can lead to personal growth and empowerment.
- Breaking Toxic Patterns: Explore how accountability can help us break free from harmful cycles, paving the way for self-compassion and forgiveness.
Join us in this candid conversation as we explore what it means to be accountable, not just to others, but to ourselves. This episode is a reminder that our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses but a testament to our strength as Black women
Register for the “Uncaped” Virtual Workshop: Join us for a transformative experience where we’ll redefine strength, let go of hyper-independence, and step into our true power. Reserve your spot today. Join the Community: Join the Shades of Strong Email List, our community of like-minded Black women empowering themselves and each other. Stay in the loop on new episodes and access to insightful discussions, resources, and practical tips for Black women, addressing their unique challenges and celebrating their resilience.
Connect on Social Media: Follow Shades of Strong on social media for content exploring the Black female experience and stay updated on the latest episodes and community events. We’re @shadesofstrong across all platforms.
Shop our Self-care Line in the Etsy shop where self-care is an art of nurturing the heart and soul. Our tools—mood trackers, journals, self-nurturing games, and coloring pages—are crafted to elevate your inner journey, inviting you to love your inner self as much as your outer self.
Listener Survey: Share your feedback with us HERE.
My strong is my belief that Black women are sick of riding and dying
Join hosts Shirley Hubbard and Natalyn Bradshaw as they welcome their first guest of the new season, award winning author and advocate Shanita Hubbard.
In this episode, Shirl and Natty dive deep into Shanita’s perspective on the “Ride or Die” narrative in hip-hop and its impact on Black women. Shanita shares her love for hip-hop and discusses how her relationship with the genre has evolved over time, especially considering its impact on the portrayal of Black women. She also elaborates on personal experiences that influenced her perspective on the “ride-or-die” narrative.
The conversation delves into the evolution of the “ride-or-die” woman into the “strong Black woman” archetype, and Shanita shares how these stereotypes affect the lives of Black women in society. She also discusses the intersectionality of issues faced by Black women, including intimate-partner violence and how these issues compound challenges for Black women.
Shanita emphasizes the responsibility of hip-hop to correct harmful narratives and discusses how the industry, artists, and listeners can contribute to reshaping these narratives. She also shares her vision for hip-hop to create a more empowering narrative for Black women and discusses the role of allies within the hip-hop community in uplifting the voices of Black women and challenging harmful stereotypes.
Key Points:
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- Love for Hip-Hop: Shanita discusses her love for hip-hop and how her relationship with the genre has evolved over time, especially considering its impact on the portrayal of Black women.
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- Impact on Black Women:The conversation delves into the evolution of the “ride-or-die” woman into the “strong Black woman” archetype, and Shanita shares how these stereotypes affect the lives of Black women in society.
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- Intersectionality: Shanita discusses the intersectionality of issues faced by Black women, including intimate-partner violence and police violence, and how these issues compound challenges for Black women.
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- Responsibility of Hip-Hop: Shanita emphasizes the responsibility of hip-hop to correct harmful narratives and discusses how the industry, artists, and listeners can contribute to reshaping these narratives.
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- Internalization of “Ride or Die” Mentality: The discussion explores how Black women can internalize and perpetuate the “ride or die” mentality, contributing to its perpetuation in society.
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- Ride or Die in Different Contexts: The discussion explores what “ride or die” looks like in various contexts, including in church, relationships, professional settings, and in the home.
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- Path to Change: Shanita shares her vision for hip-hop to create a more empowering narrative for Black women and discusses the role of allies within the hip-hop community in uplifting the voices of Black women and challenging harmful stereotypes.
Join Shirley, Natalyn, and Shanita as they explore the multifaceted concept of “ride or die” and its impact on Black women.
About Shanita:Shanita Hubbard is the author of the award-winning book Ride-Or Die: A Feminist Manifesto For The Well-Being Of Black Women. She is a former therapist, Soros Justice Fellow, and the mother of an amazing Black girl.Connect with Shanita on Instagram and X formerly Twitter.
Click HERE to donate “Ride or Die: A Feminist Manifesto For the Well-Being of Black Women” to the RIDE BEYOND PRISON PROGRAM.
Register for the “Uncaped” Workshop: Join us for a transformative experience where we’ll redefine strength, let go of hyper-independence, and step into our true power. Reserve your spot today. Join the Community: Join the Shades of Strong Email List, our community of like-minded Black women empowering themselves and each other. Stay in the loop on new episodes and access to insightful discussions, resources, and practical tips for Black women, addressing their unique challenges and celebrating their resilience.
Connect on Social Media: Follow Shades of Strong on social media for content exploring the Black female experience and stay updated on the latest episodes and community events. We’re @shadesofstrong across all platforms.
Shop our Self-care Line in the Etsy shop where self-care is an art of nurturing the heart and soul. Our tools—mood trackers, journals, self-nurturing games, and coloring pages—are crafted to elevate your inner journey, inviting you to love your inner self as much as your outer self.
Next Episode Teaser: Tune in next time for an insightful conversation on “Breaking Free from the Ride or Die Mentality,” where we’ll explore how to navigate toxic patterns and prioritize self-respect in every area of our lives.
Listener Survey: Share your feedback with us HERE.
My strong is humanizing myself.
In a world that often demands Black women to be strong at all costs, there is a growing recognition of the need to humanize ourselves — to acknowledge our vulnerabilities, set boundaries, and prioritize self-care.
In this episode of Shades of Strong Podcast, hosts Shirley Hubbard and Natalyn Bradshaw delve into the importance of fostering a discipline of humanizing ourselves and dismantling the strong Black woman trope within ourselves.
They use the body scan method to explore how they dehumanize themselves in various parts of their bodies. They candidly share personal experiences and delve into the emotional and mental burdens they carry, discussing how they can reclaim their humanity and redefine what it means to be strong.
Key Points:
- Understanding Dehumanization: Shirley and Natty use the body scan technique to thoroughly explore how they unintentionally dehumanize themselves, scanning each part of their bodies, including the mind, throat, heart, gut, and spiritual side. They share personal experiences and reflections on the impact of societal pressures, past experiences, and internalized beliefs.
- Strategies for Humanization: The hosts explore various strategies and practices for humanizing themselves, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and self-compassion. They discuss the power of mindfulness, and self-care in combating dehumanizing thoughts and behaviors.
- Impact of Societal Expectations: Shirley and Natty reflect on the impact of societal expectations and stereotypes on their self-perception. They discuss how societal norms can create unrealistic standards of strength and resilience, leading to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
- The Journey of Reclaiming Humanity: Throughout the episode, the hosts share their personal journeys of reclaiming their humanity. They discuss the challenges and triumphs of this process, offering insights and advice for listeners on their own journey towards self-acceptance and empowerment.
Humanizing ourselves is a continual journey involving embracing imperfections, celebrating strengths, and fostering community support.
By shedding light on their own struggles with dehumanization, Shirl and Natty hope to inspire others to embark on their own journey of reclaiming humanity.
Join the Community: Join the Shades of Strong Email List, our community of like-minded Black women empowering themselves and each other. Stay in the loop on new episodes and access to insightful discussions, resources, and practical tips for Black women, addressing their unique challenges and celebrating their resilience.
Connect on Social Media: Follow Shades of Strong on social media for content exploring the Black female experience and stay updated on the latest episodes and community events. We’re @shadesofstrong across all platforms.
Shop our Self-care Line in the Etsy shop where self-care is an art of nurturing the heart and soul. Our tools—mood trackers, journals, self-nurturing games, and coloring pages—are crafted to elevate your inner journey, inviting you to love your inner self as much as your outer self.
Next Episode Teaser: Tune in next time for an insightful conversation on “Breaking Free from the Ride or Die Mentality,” where we’ll explore how to navigate toxic patterns and prioritize self-respect in every area of our lives.
Listener Survey: Share your feedback with us HERE.
My strong is empowering Black women.
Get ready for a powerful new season of Shades of Strong! Hosted by Shirley Hubbard and Natalyn Bradshaw, this podcast empowers Black women to embrace their authentic selves and challenge societal stereotypes.
Launching on April 9th, this season features compelling conversations with inspiring guests. From discussing the dangers of overextending without reciprocity to unmasking imposter syndrome, the topics are diverse and impactful. They’ll also delve into the importance of healing from the mother and father wounds, and strategies for overcoming workplace bullying.
Join our email list for weekly encouragement, special offers, and a free 90-day digital energy and mood tracker. This tool complements the podcast’s themes, helping listeners identify triggers and patterns for better self-care.
Connect with Shades of Strong on social media for daily inspiration and community discussions. Follow @shadesofstrong on all platforms.
Stay tuned for the new season, premiering April 9th! In the meantime, catch up on past episodes and share the podcast with your friends.
Join the Community: Join the Shades of Strong Email List, our community of like-minded Black women empowering themselves and each other. Stay in the loop on new episodes and access to insightful discussions, resources, and practical tips for Black women, addressing their unique challenges and celebrating their resilience.
Connect on Social Media: Follow Shades of Strong on social media for content exploring the Black female experience and stay updated on the latest episodes and community events. We’re @shadesofstrong across all platforms.
Shop our Self-care Line in the Etsy shop where self-care is an art of nurturing the heart and soul. Our tools—mood trackers, journals, self-nurturing games, and coloring pages—are crafted to elevate your inner journey, inviting you to love your inner self as much as your outer self.
Next Episode Teaser: Tune in next time for an insightful conversation on “Fostering a Practice of Humanizing Ourselves,” using the body scan method, we’ll explore how we unintentionally dehumanize ourselves and discuss strategies on how to cultivate self-compassion and authenticity. Don’t miss it.
Listener Survey: Share your feedback with us HERE.
*My strong is soft, feminine, and receptive.***
Long gone are the days when Black women are overextending and back bending all in the name of being strong, because contrary to poplular belief, Black women get to be be soft and strong.
Tap in to this week’s encore episode for a conversation with Ivory Benneet on how she’s one of many Black women embracing being soft and strong.
RESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOU IN DOING LIFE WITH LESS STRESS,
LESS WORRY, AND LESS EMOTIONAL OVERWHELM
Come gather and grow with us in the SOS SAFE SPACES support group.
Want to be a part of a community of Black women supporting Black women through the ebbs and flows* of life? Come gather with us monthly to chat it up about all the things that concern us, while holding each other accountable with love — accountable for how we see ourselves, treat ourselves, walk through the world, and how we allow others to treat us. Join SOS SAFE SPACES* today.
Cultivate a daily practice of nurturing yourself with Nurture Yourself Bingo
Nurturing yourself does not have to be difficult, but it does need to be consistent, so why not make it fun. Nurture Yourself Bingo is divided into five categories – one category per card. Each category has twenty-four activities to support you in a daily practice of nurturing yourself. All you need to do to get started is print the cards, laminate them, and start nurturing yourself.
Do one activity daily, marking a X in the squares as you go until you get bingo. Once you get bingo, do something to celebrate yourself. If you get bingo on more than one card at the same time, up the celebration. Alternatively, you can work on one card at a time and/or do more than one activity a day. It’s your practice, do what feels right for you. Whatever you decide, we’ve got FIVE CATEGORIES & 124 WAYS for you to do it.
Join the My Strong Is global campaign by being a guest on the podcast.
Listener Survey: Share your feedback with us HERE
Connect and share with us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
*My strong is creating an emotioanlly safe space.***
One of the most harmful things about having emotional walls is missing out on great experiences with those you love and care about. We build these walls with the hope of keeping harmful things out, not realizing that walls not only shut others out, they shut you in.
Tap in to this week’s encore episode for a conversation on how you can protect yourself without building emotional walls.
RESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOU IN DOING LIFE WITH LESS STRESS,
LESS WORRY, AND LESS EMOTIONAL OVERWHELM
Come gather and grow with us in the SOS SAFE SPACES support group.
Want to be a part of a community of Black women supporting Black women through the ebbs and flows* of life? Come gather with us monthly to chat it up about all the things that concern us, while holding each other accountable with love — accountable for how we see ourselves, treat ourselves, walk through the world, and how we allow others to treat us. Join SOS SAFE SPACES* today.
Cultivate a daily practice of nurturing yourself with Nurture Yourself Bingo
Nurturing yourself does not have to be difficult, but it does need to be consistent, so why not make it fun. Nurture Yourself Bingo is divided into five categories – one category per card. Each category has twenty-four activities to support you in a daily practice of nurturing yourself. All you need to do to get started is print the cards, laminate them, and start nurturing yourself.
Do one activity daily, marking a X in the squares as you go until you get bingo. Once you get bingo, do something to celebrate yourself. If you get bingo on more than one card at the same time, up the celebration. Alternatively, you can work on one card at a time and/or do more than one activity a day. It’s your practice, do what feels right for you. Whatever you decide, we’ve got FIVE CATEGORIES & 124 WAYS for you to do it.
Join the My Strong Is global campaign by being a guest on the podcast.
Listener Survey: Share your feedback with us HERE
Connect and share with us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
*My strong is “resolute and standing firmly in my truth” Angela Bassett.***
They tell us to take risks – take lots of them. They tell us not to settle for mediocrity – fight for the life we want. So, we do! We fight with everything in us – not being easily intimidated. Not letting people walk all over us. We boldly speak up against unfairness and injustices in our personal and business lives.
We have the audacity to sit at the table where we’ve rightfully earned our seats. We fought! We pushed! We refused to be silenced!
And…now we’ve been labeled the ANGRY BLACK WOMAN. Every Black woman in America has been called ANGRY at least once in her lifetime, but Black women ain’t out here angry for nothing. Tap in to this week’s encore episode as we shine a light on how the angry Black woman label originated, how it’s been used for centuries to silence us and why it’s okay to be justifiably angry without fear of being judged.
RESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOU IN DOING LIFE WITH LESS STRESS,
LESS WORRY, AND LESS EMOTIONAL OVERWHELM
Come gather and grow with us in the SOS SAFE SPACES support group.
Want to be a part of a community of Black women supporting Black women through the ebbs and flows* of life? Come gather with us monthly to chat it up about all the things that concern us, while holding each other accountable with love — accountable for how we see ourselves, treat ourselves, walk through the world, and how we allow others to treat us. Join SOS SAFE SPACES* today.
Cultivate a daily practice of nurturing yourself with Nurture Yourself Bingo
Nurturing yourself does not have to be difficult, but it does need to be consistent, so why not make it fun. Nurture Yourself Bingo is divided into five categories – one category per card. Each category has twenty-four activities to support you in a daily practice of nurturing yourself. All you need to do to get started is print the cards, laminate them, and start nurturing yourself.
Do one activity daily, marking a X in the squares as you go until you get bingo. Once you get bingo, do something to celebrate yourself. If you get bingo on more than one card at the same time, up the celebration. Alternatively, you can work on one card at a time and/or do more than one activity a day. It’s your practice, do what feels right for you. Whatever you decide, we’ve got FIVE CATEGORIES & 124 WAYS for you to do it.
Join the My Strong Is global campaign by being a guest on the podcast.
Listener Survey: Share your feedback with us HERE
Connect and share with us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
*My strong is not strong all the time and I’m okay with that. I cry. I feel. I heal.***
Letting go of the past and healing from trauma is challenging in and of itself, but when the trauma is a result of unhealthy parental relationships, it becomes even more challenging. In today’s episode I chatted it up with Angela Roulette as she shared her journey of freeing herself from the emotional burdens that were keeping her stuck and preventing her from experiencing a life of peace and happiness.
Holding on to traumas of the past can be detrimental to your mental and emotinal well-being as evident in Angela’s story, but there is hope if you can find the courage to do something about it.
Tap in to this week’s encore episode to hear Angela’s journey to healing from the pain and trauma of unhealthy paternal relationships and how that trauma spilled over into her romantic relationships.
RESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOU IN DOING LIFE WITH LESS STRESS,
LESS WORRY, AND LESS EMOTIONAL OVERWHELM
Come gather and grow with us in the SOS SAFE SPACES support group.
Want to be a part of a community of Black women supporting Black women through the ebbs and flows* of life? Come gather with us monthly to chat it up about all the things that concern us, while holding each other accountable with love — accountable for how we see ourselves, treat ourselves, walk through the world, and how we allow others to treat us. Join SOS SAFE SPACES* today.
Cultivate a daily practice of nurturing yourself with Nurture Yourself Bingo
Nurturing yourself does not have to be difficult, but it does need to be consistent, so why not make it fun. Nurture Yourself Bingo is divided into five categories – one category per card. Each category has twenty-four activities to support you in a daily practice of nurturing yourself. All you need to do to get started is print the cards, laminate them, and start nurturing yourself.
Do one activity daily, marking a X in the squares as you go until you get bingo. Once you get bingo, do something to celebrate yourself. If you get bingo on more than one card at the same time, up the celebration. Alternatively, you can work on one card at a time and/or do more than one activity a day. It’s your practice, do what feels right for you. Whatever you decide, we’ve got FIVE CATEGORIES & 124 WAYS for you to do it.
Join the My Strong Is global campaign by being a guest on the podcast.
Listener Survey: Share your feedback with us HERE
Connect and share with us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
*My strong is knowing what I bring to the table.***
Unlearning people pleasing behavior is challenging, not only because it’s a part of the Black female’s social fabric, but also because as Black women often existing in predominantly white spaces, pleasing others first is [undoubtedly] a survival mechanism. Hello code switching and shape shifting!
The only way to unlearn what’s been embedded in you is to love yourself the way you love others and to know with certainty what you’re worth and what you bring to the table in whatever room you’re in.
Tap in to this week’s encore episode to hear how we’re taking steps everyday to say eff you to the expectations of whiteness and yes to pleasing ourselves even when it makes others uncomfortable.
RESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOU IN DOING LIFE WITH LESS STRESS,
LESS WORRY, AND LESS EMOTIONAL OVERWHELM
Come gather and grow with us in the SOS SAFE SPACES support group.
Want to be a part of a community of Black women supporting Black women through the ebbs and flows* of life? Come gather with us monthly to chat it up about all the things that concern us, while holding each other accountable with love — accountable for how we see ourselves, treat ourselves, walk through the world, and how we allow others to treat us. Join SOS SAFE SPACES* today.
Cultivate a daily practice of nurturing yourself with Nurture Yourself Bingo
Nurturing yourself does not have to be difficult, but it does need to be consistent, so why not make it fun. Nurture Yourself Bingo is divided into five categories – one category per card. Each category has twenty-four activities to support you in a daily practice of nurturing yourself. All you need to do to get started is print the cards, laminate them, and start nurturing yourself.
Do one activity daily, marking a X in the squares as you go until you get bingo. Once you get bingo, do something to celebrate yourself. If you get bingo on more than one card at the same time, up the celebration. Alternatively, you can work on one card at a time and/or do more than one activity a day. It’s your practice, do what feels right for you. Whatever you decide, we’ve got FIVE CATEGORIES & 124 WAYS for you to do it.
Join the My Strong Is global campaign by being a guest on the podcast.
Listener Survey: Share your feedback with us HERE
Connect and share with us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
My strong is not jealous or catty.
Have you ever found yourself in the middle of friendhsip or sisterhood that suddenly became toxic? Are you able to accept responsibility for the role you played in it?
You don't have to answer that (outloud), but the truth is we all play a role (in one way or another) in the toxcity we sometimes find ourselves - even if that role is simply accepting the behavior.
Tap in to this week's encore episode as we share our personal experiences of friendships gone wrong, how we recovered from them and how you can avoid the cattiness, betrayal, and judgment that sometimes creeps into our circles by simply being the friend you want to experience.
RESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOU IN DOING LIFE WITH LESS STRESS, LESS WORRY, AND LESS EMOTIONAL OVERWHELM
Come gather and grow with us in the SOS SAFE SPACES support group.
Want to be a part of a community of Black women supporting Black women through the ebbs and flows of life? Come gather with us monthly to chat it up about all the things that concern us, while holding each other accountable with love — accountable for how we see ourselves, treat ourselves, walk through the world, and how we allow others to treat us. Join SOS SAFE SPACES today.
Cultivate a daily practice of nurturing yourself with Nurture Yourself Bingo
Nurturing yourself does not have to be difficult, but it does need to be consistent, so why not make it fun. Nurture Yourself Bingo is divided into five categories – one category per card. Each category has twenty-four activities to support you in a daily practice of nurturing yourself. All you need to do to get started is print the cards, laminate them, and start nurturing yourself.
Do one activity daily, marking a X in the squares as you go until you get bingo. Once you get bingo, do something to celebrate yourself. If you get bingo on more than one card at the same time, up the celebration. Alternatively, you can work on one card at a time and/or do more than one activity a day. It’s your practice, do what feels right for you. Whatever you decide, we've got FIVE CATEGORIES & 124 WAYS for you to do it.
Join the My Strong Is global campaign by being a guest on the podcast.
Listener Survey: Share your feedback with us HERE
Connect and share with us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
My strong is healing in a way that feels right for me.
We gotta stop telling people that they can choose to be happy when they're in the thick of a traumatic event because sometimes CHOOSING happiness is not possible in that moment.
Though well intentioned, our words can be harmful when we're not sensitive to the emotional needs of those we're trying to support.
Tap in to this week's encore episode as we talk about how important it is to hold space for others while allowing them to time to heal from tramatic events in a way that feels right for them.
RESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOU IN DOING LIFE WITH LESS STRESS, LESS WORRY, AND LESS EMOTIONAL OVERWHELM
Come gather and grow with us in the SOS SAFE SPACES support group.
Want to be a part of a community of Black women supporting Black women through the ebbs and flows of life? Come gather with us monthly to chat it up about all the things that concern us, while holding each other accountable with love — accountable for how we see ourselves, treat ourselves, walk through the world, and how we allow others to treat us. Join SOS SAFE SPACES today.
Cultivate a daily practice of nurturing yourself with Nurture Yourself Bingo
Nurturing yourself does not have to be difficult, but it does need to be consistent, so why not make it fun. Nurture Yourself Bingo is divided into five categories – one category per card. Each category has twenty-four activities to support you in a daily practice of nurturing yourself. All you need to do to get started is print the cards, laminate them, and start nurturing yourself.
Do one activity daily, marking a X in the squares as you go until you get bingo. Once you get bingo, do something to celebrate yourself. If you get bingo on more than one card at the same time, up the celebration. Alternatively, you can work on one card at a time and/or do more than one activity a day. It’s your practice, do what feels right for you. Whatever you decide, we've got FIVE CATEGORIES & 124 WAYS for you to do it.
Join the My Strong Is global campaign by being a guest on the podcast.
Listener Survey: Share your feedback with us HERE
Connect and share with us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
My strong is NOT sociaiizing Black girls to be strong.
We're on summer break, but we didn't want to leave you with no SOS, so for the next several weeks we'll be dropping some of our most listened to episodes.
Unlike Beyonce most Black women didn't wake up like this. Before we were strong Black women we were little Black girls being socialized to be strong.
Tap in to this week's encore episode as we talk about childhold experiences that often thrust little Black girls into the trope of the strong Black woman.
RESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOU IN DOING LIFE WITH LESS STRESS, LESS WORRY, AND LESS EMOTIONAL OVERWHELM
Come gather and grow with us in the SOS SAFE SPACES support group.
Want to be a part of a community of Black women supporting Black women through the ebbs and flows of life? Come gather with us monthly to chat it up about all the things that concern us, while holding each other accountable with love — accountable for how we see ourselves, treat ourselves, walk through the world, and how we allow others to treat us. Join SOS SAFE SPACES today.
Cultivate a daily practice of nurturing yourself with Nurture Yourself Bingo
Nurturing yourself does not have to be difficult, but it does need to be consistent, so why not make it fun. Nurture Yourself Bingo is divided into five categories – one category per card. Each category has twenty-four activities to support you in a daily practice of nurturing yourself. All you need to do to get started is print the cards, laminate them, and start nurturing yourself.
Do one activity daily, marking a X in the squares as you go until you get bingo. Once you get bingo, do something to celebrate yourself. If you get bingo on more than one card at the same time, up the celebration. Alternatively, you can work on one card at a time and/or do more than one activity a day. It’s your practice, do what feels right for you. Whatever you decide, we've got FIVE CATEGORIES & 124 WAYS for you to do it.
Join the My Strong Is global campaign by being a guest on the podcast.
Listener Survey: Share your feedback with us HERE
Connect and share with us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
"My strong is honoring my full body yeses, and trusting even the quietest whispers of my no's"
In today's episode Tšhegofatšo Ndabane shares how she spent so much time caring for others til she didn't know how to care for herself.
She goes on to share how a bout with extreme burnout not only isolated her from her community, but also sat her down and forced her to take a look at how she was treating herself. That awakening is now supporting her in doing life from a place that honors who she is and who she's becoming.
Tšhegofatšo offers simple strategies that can be easily integrated in to everyday life so you don't find yourself suffering from burnout and how you can start recovering if you're already there.
... and the icing on the cake is how she supports her friends and family so they're not working themselves into physical and emotional exhaustions.
Tap in sis! You don't want to miss this one.
About Tšhegofatšo Ndabane
Tšhegofatšo is a writer, chief storyteller and strategist at Hustling Writers, and a Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology researcher at the University of Cape Town. Her words have been featured in various international publications including Refinery29, Well + Good, Life & Thyme, and Food52, amongst others. When she’s not writing away or sitting with the stories of her clients, she can be found walking, exploring art and nature, or experimenting with a new baking recipe.
Connect with Tšhegofatšo on LinkedIn, Instagram, &/or Substack
RESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOU IN DOING LIFE WITH LESS STRESS, LESS WORRY, AND LESS EMOTIONAL OVERWHELM
Come gather and grow with us in the SOS SAFE SPACES support group.
Want to be a part of a community of Black women supporting Black women through the ebbs and flows of life? Come gather with us monthly to chat it up about all the things that concern us, while holding each other accountable with love — accountable for how we see ourselves, treat ourselves, walk through the world, and how we allow others to treat us. Join SOS SAFE SPACES today.
Cultivate a daily practice of nurturing yourself with Nurture Yourself Bingo
Nurturing yourself does not have to be difficult, but it does need to be consistent, so why not make it fun. Nurture Yourself Bingo is divided into five categories – one category per card. Each category has twenty-four activities to support you in a daily practice of nurturing yourself. All you need to do to get started is print the cards, laminate them, and start nurturing yourself.
Do one activity daily, marking a X in the squares as you go until you get bingo. Once you get bingo, do something to celebrate yourself. If you get bingo on more than one card at the same time, up the celebration. Alternatively, you can work on one card at a time and/or do more than one activity a day. It’s your practice, do what feels right for you. Whatever you decide, we've got FIVE CATEGORIES & 124 WAYS for you to do it.
Join the My Strong Is global campaign by being a guest on the podcast.
Listener Survey: Share your feedback with us HERE
Connect and share with us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
“I don’t know who needs to hear this, but check on your strong friends.” How many times have you seen this statement floating around social media?
How many times did you actually check on your strong friend?
How many times did she say, “I’m good.”
… and how many times did you hear I’m good and kept it moving?
Listen, we’re not here to judge because the reality is your strong friend is usually out here in these streets straight capping.
No, seriously. Even you check on her she spouts out some version of “I’m fine” because she’s the strong one and that’s what she’s supposed to say.
In today’s episode we’re talking about hearing what she’s NOT saying, aka looking for indicators that your strong friend might need support even when she “looks so happy”.
Tap in sis, because we have thoughts.
RESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOU IN DOING LIFE WITH LESS STRESS,
LESS WORRY, AND LESS EMOTIONAL OVERWHELM
Come gather and grow with us in the SOS SAFE SPACES support group.
Want to be a part of a community of Black women supporting Black women through the ebbs and flows* of life? Come gather with us monthly to chat it up about all the things that concern us, while holding each other accountable with love — accountable for how we see ourselves, treat ourselves, walk through the world, and how we allow others to treat us. Join SOS SAFE SPACES* today.
Cultivate a daily practice of nurturing yourself with Nurture Yourself Bingo
Nurturing yourself does not have to be difficult, but it does need to be consistent, so why not make it fun. Nurture Yourself Bingo is divided into five categories – one category per card. Each category has twenty-four activities to support you in a daily practice of nurturing yourself. All you need to do to get started is print the cards, laminate them, and start nurturing yourself.
Do one activity daily, marking a X in the squares as you go until you get bingo. Once you get bingo, do something to celebrate yourself. If you get bingo on more than one card at the same time, up the celebration. Alternatively, you can work on one card at a time and/or do more than one activity a day. It’s your practice, do what feels right for you. Whatever you decide, we’ve got FIVE CATEGORIES & 124 WAYS for you to do it.
Come be our guest on the podcast.
Listener Survey: Share your feedback with us HERE
Connect and share with us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
“What if you’re having a tough day and you manage to get out of bed? That’s worth celebrating.”
In today’s episode Paballo Rampa gives us a peek inside her journey to healing from the Strong Black Woman Syndrome.
She paints us a picture of how she spent years dismantling the label that had been thrust upon her and how she is now showing herself love and compassion and creating boundaries that honor who she was created to be.
Paballo is adamanat about teaching others how to treat her by showing the world how she consistently and deliberately celebrates herself.
Tap in sis because she goes on to take us inside her journey to healing from the ancestral trauma that was contributing to the way she was living life.
About Paballo Rampa
Pabollo is an initiated black, queer female shaman from South Africa who is also a 2x published author. She also hosts the podcast I am Clapping For You which is about celebrating Africans from all over the world. Pabollo is on a quest to encourage people to celebrate intentionally and consistently, and with the guidance of her ancestors, she has launched a 7-Day Challenge To Celebrate Yourself which is aimed at overachievers and also coaches them through it. Paballo also offers creativity coaching for owners of creative businesses. Connect with Paballo on Facebook and Instagram @Come See Beyond.
RESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOU IN DOING LIFE WITH LESS STRESS,
LESS WORRY, AND LESS EMOTIONAL OVERWHELM
Come gather and grow with us in the SOS SAFE SPACES support group.
Want to be a part of a community of Black women supporting Black women through the ebbs and flows* of life? Come gather with us monthly to chat it up about all the things that concern us, while holding each other accountable with love — accountable for how we see ourselves, treat ourselves, walk through the world, and how we allow others to treat us. Join SOS SAFE SPACES* today.
Cultivate a daily practice of nurturing yourself with Nurture Yourself Bingo
Nurturing yourself does not have to be difficult, but it does need to be consistent, so why not make it fun. Nurture Yourself Bingo is divided into five categories – one category per card. Each category has twenty-four activities to support you in a daily practice of nurturing yourself. All you need to do to get started is print the cards, laminate them, and start nurturing yourself.
Do one activity daily, marking a X in the squares as you go until you get bingo. Once you get bingo, do something to celebrate yourself. If you get bingo on more than one card at the same time, up the celebration. Alternatively, you can work on one card at a time and/or do more than one activity a day. It’s your practice, do what feels right for you. Whatever you decide, we’ve got FIVE CATEGORIES & 124 WAYS for you to do it.
Come be our guest on the podcast.
Listener Survey: Share your feedback with us HERE
Connect and share with us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
Mothers, they’re human, they’re flawed, and they have their own stories. But their stories don’t have to dictate how we live our lives.
Mother’s Day is peeking over the horizon which means we’ll soon be flooded with commercials, social media posts and Hallmark card images of the perfect mother-daughter relationships, but the reality is that’s not everyone’s story and those images and posts do nothing to help manage the feelings and emotions that arise for those who (for a various reasons) can’t celebrate their moms.
Tune in to today’s episode as publicist & author, Adrienne Allen shares her thoughts surrounding difficult parent/child relationships and gives us a peek inside her journey to lovingly letting her mom go.
This message was originally posted on Adrienne’s YouTube channel and can be viewed HERE.
RESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOU IN DOING LIFE WITH LESS STRESS,
LESS WORRY, AND LESS EMOTIONAL OVERWHELM
Come gather and grow with us in the SOS SAFE SPACES support group.
Want to be a part of a community of Black women supporting Black women through the ebbs and flows* of life? Come gather with us monthly to chat it up about all the things that concern us, while holding each other accountable with love — accountable for how we see ourselves, treat ourselves, walk through the world, and how we allow others to treat us. Join SOS SAFE SPACES* today.
Cultivate a daily practice of nurturing yourself with Nurture Yourself Bingo
Nurturing yourself does not have to be difficult, but it does need to be consistent, so why not make it fun. Nurture Yourself Bingo is divided into five categories – one category per card. Each category has twenty-four activities to support you in a daily practice of nurturing yourself. All you need to do to get started is print the cards, laminate them, and start nurturing yourself.
Do one activity daily, marking a X in the squares as you go until you get bingo. Once you get bingo, do something to celebrate yourself. If you get bingo on more than one card at the same time, up the celebration. Alternatively, you can work on one card at a time and/or do more than one activity a day. It’s your practice, do what feels right for you. Whatever you decide, we’ve got FIVE CATEGORIES & 124 WAYS for you to do it.
Have a question for Shirl and Natty? Fill out our form and we may answer it in a future episode.
Listener Survey: Share your feedback with us HERE
Connect and share with us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
It kinda feels like we’ve been living in a pandemic state of mind for decades now, when the reality is it’s only been about three years. The world around us seems to be crumbling both on the inside and the outside and some days it feels like it’s impossible to pull yourself out of that sunken place. All of your wants and desires suddenly feel meaningless and not worth pursuing and all you want to know is when it gets better, right?
The truth is it never gets better. Life is constantly happening — yeah it eases up a little bit here and there, but it never gets better. But you know what does? YOU do, sis. and The way you respond to it gets better. The way you maintain your peace in the midst of it all gets better and that’s what we’re talking about this week — how you can be good when life is no.
Tap in to get some insight on how you can find peace when everything seems to be falling apart.
RESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOU IN DOING LIFE WITH LESS STRESS,
LESS WORRY, AND LESS EMOTIONAL OVERWHELM
Come gather and grow with us in the SOS SAFE SPACES support group.
Want to be a part of a community of Black women supporting Black women through the ebbs and flows* of life? Come gather with us monthly to chat it up about all the things that concern us, while holding each other accountable with love — accountable for how we see ourselves, treat ourselves, walk through the world, and how we allow others to treat us. Join SOS SAFE SPACES* today.
Cultivate a daily practice of nurturing yourself with Nurture Yourself Bingo
Nurturing yourself does not have to be difficult, but it does need to be consistent, so why not make it fun. Nurture Yourself Bingo is divided into five categories – one category per card. Each category has twenty-four activities to support you in a daily practice of nurturing yourself. All you need to do to get started is print the cards, laminate them, and start nurturing yourself.
Do one activity daily, marking a X in the squares as you go until you get bingo. Once you get bingo, do something to celebrate yourself. If you get bingo on more than one card at the same time, up the celebration. Alternatively, you can work on one card at a time and/or do more than one activity a day. It’s your practice, do what feels right for you. Whatever you decide, we’ve got FIVE CATEGORIES & 124 WAYS for you to do it.
Have a question for Shirl and Natty? Fill out our form and we may answer it in a future episode.
Listener Survey: Share your feedback with us HERE
Connect and share with us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
Going to a job you hate is a dreadful experience most of us are all to familiar with. You wake up every morning miserable, frustrated, and unmotivated. You know you need to make a change — you want to quit without notice, but you’re not financially able to without having another opportunity lined up.
In today’s episode we share our own expereinces of being on jobs we hate and offer some suggestions to support you in finding peace if you’re getting up every morning going to a job that has you operating from a space of overwhelm and frustration.
Tap in and let’s start planning your exit strategy.
FREE RESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOU IN DOING LIFE WITH LESS STRESS,
LESS WORRY, AND LESS EMOTIONAL OVERWHELM
Come gather and grow with us in the SOS SAFE SPACES support group.
Want to be a part of a community of Black women supporting Black women through the ebbs and flows* of life? Come gather with us monthly to chat it up about all the things that concern us, while holding each other accountable with love — accountable for how we see ourselves, treat ourselves, walk through the world, and how we allow others to treat us. Join SOS SAFE SPACES* today.
Cultivate a daily practice of nurturing yourself with Nurture Yourself Bingo
Nurturing yourself does not have to be difficult, but it does need to be consistent, so why not make it fun. Nurture Yourself Bingo is divided into five categories – one category per card. Each category has twenty-four activities to support you in a daily practice of nurturing yourself. All you need to do to get started is print the cards, laminate them, and start nurturing yourself.
Do one activity daily, marking a X in the squares as you go until you get bingo. Once you get bingo, do something to celebrate yourself. If you get bingo on more than one card at the same time, up the celebration. Alternatively, you can work on one card at a time and/or do more than one activity a day. It’s your practice, do what feels right for you. Whatever you decide, we’ve got FIVE CATEGORIES & 124 WAYS for you to do it.
Have a question for Shirl and Natty? Fill out our form and we may answer it in a future episode.
Connect and share with us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
Safe spaces for Black women matter because sometimes we need to be around other Black women who get it.
In today’s episode we talk about the importance of Black women having a safe space to gather and chat it up about the unique challenges we face as a culture and how those challenges are often overlooked and unheard.
Having a space where we can pour it all out with people who look like us helps us to connect on a deeper level – it creates space for us to share our stories, our struggles, our experiences with people who know what it’s like to be dismissed and ignored – it provides a sense of togetherness. That’s why we’ve created SOS Safe Spaces where we gather monthly to talk about the everyday happenings of life. Tune in to get all the deets.
RESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOU IN DOING LIVE WITH LESS STRESS,
LESS WORRY, AND LESS EMOTIONAL OVERWHELM
Come gather and grow with us in the SOS SAFE SPACES support group.
Want to be a part of a [FREE] community of Black women supporting Black women through the ebbs and flows* of life? Come gather with us monthly to chat it up about all the things that concern us, while holding each other accountable with love — accountable for how we see ourselves, treat ourselves, walk through the world, and how we allow others to treat us. Join SOS SAFE SPACES* today.
Cultivate a daily practice of nurturing yourself with Nurture Yourself Bingo
Nurturing yourself does not have to be difficult, but it does need to be consistent, so why not make it fun. Nurture Yourself Bingo is divided into five categories – one category per card. Each category has twenty-four activities to support you in a daily practice of nurturing yourself. All you need to do to get started is print the cards, laminate them, and start nurturing yourself.
Do one activity daily, marking a X in the squares as you go until you get bingo. Once you get bingo, do something to celebrate yourself. If you get bingo on more than one card at the same time, up the celebration. Alternatively, you can work on one card at a time and/or do more than one activity a day. It’s your practice, do what feels right for you. Whatever you decide, we’ve got FIVE CATEGORIES & 124 WAYS for you to do it.
Have a question for Shirl and Natty? Fill out our form and we may answer it in a future episode.
Connect and share with us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
Being independent [in the Black female community] seems to be giving strong Black woman vibes and we think it’s time to have a conversation.
Listen sis, you CAN indeed do all the things. You’ve undoubtedly proven that time and time again, but the gag is you don’t have to. When you try do everything on your own, you may find yourself gradually slipping back in the habits of being strong that you’ve worked so hard to free yourself from.
In today’s episode we talk about the importance of finding balance important to find a being independent and being open to asking for and receiving support from others.
A few things that came up in our conversation:
- The thin line between being independent and being strong
- Being “too” independent and its relationship with unhealed trauma
- The art of clearly articulating what you need
- Being vulnerable enough to ask for what you need
RESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOU IN DOING STRONG DIFFERENTLY
Come gather and grow with us in the SOS Sista Circle
Want to be a part of a community of sistas supporting sistas through the ebbs and flows of life? Consider being a part of the *SOS Virtual Sista Circle where we gather monthly to chat it up about all the things that concern us, while holding each other accountable with love — accountable for how we see ourselves, treat ourselves, walk through the world, and how we allow others to treat us. Join us today at shadesofstrong.com*.
Cultivate a daily practice of nurturing yourself with Nurture Yourself Bingo
Nurturing yourself does not have to be difficult, but it does need to be consistent, so why not make it fun. Nurture Yourself Bingo is divided into five categories – one category per card. Each category has twenty-four activities to support you in a daily practice of nurturing yourself. All you need to do to get started is print the cards, laminate them, and start nurturing yourself.
Do one activity daily, marking a X in the squares as you go until you get bingo. Once you get bingo, do something to celebrate yourself. If you get bingo on more than one card at the same time, up the celebration. Alternatively, you can work on one card at a time and/or do more than one activity a day. It’s your practice, do what feels right for you. Whatever you decide, we’ve got FIVE CATEGORIES & 124 WAYS for you to do it.
Connect and share with us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
Creating space for vulnerability is a magical thing, but that magic can only happen when Black women are brave enough, courageous enough to become one with their bodies.
In today’s episode we talk about why we’re seeing so much discourse around the phrase strong Black woman and how that phrase contributes to how challenging it can be for Black women to not only sit with their feelings, but also embrace vulnerability as a gateway to wholeness.
Tap in to hear how we’re learning to sit with our feelings as Black women who grew up during a time when feeling feelings or outwardly expressing an emotion was unacceptable, how we’re now doing things completely different as we age out of the traditional way of being strong, and how we’re encouraging others to break away from the old school way of [not] feeling the feels.
A few things that came up in our conversation:
– How vulnerability is often stigmatized in the Black female community
– Crying the tears and feeling the feelings of our ancestors
– The difference betweem sitting with a feeling and waddling in a feeling
– Learning how to sit with your feelings and becoming your own safe place
RESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOU IN DOING STRONG DIFFERENTLY
Come gather and grow with us in the SOS Sista Circle
Want to be a part of a community of sistas supporting sistas through the ebbs and flows of life? Consider being a part of the *SOS Virtual Sista Circle where we gather monthly to chat it up about all the things that concern us, while holding each other accountable with love — accountable for how we see ourselves, treat ourselves, walk through the world, and how we allow others to treat us. Join us today at shadesofstrong.com*.
Cultivate a daily practice of nurturing yourself with Nurture Yourself Bingo
Nurturing yourself does not have to be difficult, but it does need to be consistent, so why not make it fun. Nurture Yourself Bingo is divided into five categories – one category per card. Each category has twenty-four activities to support you in a daily practice of nurturing yourself. All you need to do to get started is print the cards, laminate them, and start nurturing yourself.
Do one activity daily, marking a X in the squares as you go until you get bingo. Once you get bingo, do something to celebrate yourself. If you get bingo on more than one card at the same time, up the celebration. Alternatively, you can work on one card at a time and/or do more than one activity a day. It’s your practice, do what feels right for you. Whatever you decide, we’ve got FIVE CATEGORIES & 124 WAYS for you to do it.
Connect and share with us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
Checking in with yourself requires “asking all them questions” and truth be told, some of y’all ain’t ready for that. But no worries that’s why we’re here — to help you get ready and stay ready.
Come on in and get comfortable, sis because we got things to say about the importance of Black women checking in with themselves and how asking yourself a few simples questions can help you cultivate a practice with just a little bit of effort.
We’re also sharing some insight on how the term Strong Black Woman started out as a way for Black women to empower themselves, and how it gradually morphed into what some now refer to as a burden of strength.
Tune in NOW to hear how we check in with oursevles DAILY to be sure that what was meant to be a badge of honor is NOT becoming a burden of strength, and how you can easily integrate these practices into your daily life as ell.
A few things that came up during the conversation…
– What the strong Black woman looks like on Gen-X women & the generational divide
– Reclaiming our identity as Black women
– How Black women are carrying around generations of fatigue
– Ways we can check in with ourselves DAILY to avoid stress, overwhelm and burnout
RESOURCES TO SUPPORT YOU IN DOING STRONG DIFFERENTLY
Come gather and grow with us in the SOS Sista Circle
Want to be a part of a community of sistas supporting sistas through the ebbs and flows of life? Consider being a part of the *SOS Virtual Sista Circle where we gather monthly to chat it up about all the things that concern us, while holding each other accountable with love — accountable for how we see ourselves, treat ourselves, walk through the world, and how we allow others to treat us. Join us today at shadesofstrong.com*.
Cultivate a daily practice of nurturing yourself with Nurture Yourself Bingo
Nurturing yourself does not have to be difficult, but it does need to be consistent, so why not make it fun. Nurture Yourself Bingo is divided into five categories – one category per card. Each category has twenty-four activities to support you in a daily practice of nurturing yourself. All you need to do to get started is print the cards, laminate them, and start nurturing yourself.
Do one activity daily, marking a X in the squares as you go until you get bingo. Once you get bingo, do something to celebrate yourself. If you get bingo on more than one card at the same time, up the celebration. Alternatively, you can work on one card at a time and/or do more than one activity a day. It’s your practice, do what feels right for you. Whatever you decide, we’ve got FIVE CATEGORIES & 124 WAYS for you to do it.
Connect and share with us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
Nancey B. Price, collage artist, writer and performance story teller joined us in the virtual studio to chat it up with us about all things Strong Black Woman and why she doesn’t live her life from that space.
In today’s episode, Nancey gets real about why she hates being called strong and how she’s not rocking with the term Queen either. Trust! You don’t want to miss this episode because Nancey is boldly and unashamedly sharing why she’s throwing the Strong Black Woman Trope back at all the people constantly throwing it at her.
Here are a few things that came up in our conversation:
– How the terms “Strong Black Woman” and “Queen” removes our humanness
– Generational differences and expectations as it relates to being called strong
– The trauma of being a strong Black girl
– The soft grind and the shifts needed to be able to grind in way that feels good
– The Deconditioning, relearning, and redfining needed to live a sustainable life
ABOUT NANCEY B. PRICE
Nancey B. Price is a self-taught collage artist, writer and storyteller with an appreciation for all things Black, Southern and imaginative. In all of her creative pursuits, she seeks to build worlds in which Black people can exist freely in all their beauty and complexity.
With collage as her visual medium, Nancey explores how it feels to center and exalt Blackness and womanhood from the fields of rural America to the stars in the night sky and everywhere in between. Her work has been featured in various publications, including O, the Oprah Magazine, Garden & Gun Magazine, and Black Joy x Reckon. She‘s also exhibited across the country, including Yale Divinity School, the Montgomery Museum of Fine Arts, and the Jepson Center at the Telfair Museums.
Nancey uses words and performance to take her audience on a journey of selfhood, spirituality, and ancestry. As the executive producer and host of the podcast, Dreaming In Color, she highlights the importance of dreamtelling in the Black community by creating space for each of her guests to share a dream story and deconstruct its meaning in their waking lives. In her stories of fiction, Nancey invokes magical realism and southern gothic storytelling to build worlds and weave together lives inspired by the folklore of her hometown, Girard, GA.
Nancey currently resides in Statesboro, GA and can be seen sharing her creative process on social media (@nanceybprice) and her website (nanceybprice.com).
Connect with Nancey via her Online Home, the Dreaming in Color Podcast and on Instagram, and be sure to check out her catalog of artwork.
LINKS YOU’LL BE GLAD YOU CLICKED ON
Come gather and grow with us in the SOS Sista Circle
Want to be a part of a community of sistas supporting sistas through the ebbs and flows of life? Consider being a part of the *SOS Virtual Sista Circle where we gather monthly to chat it up about all the things that concern us, while holding each other accountable with love — accountable for how we see ourselves, treat ourselves, walk through the world, and how we allow others to treat us. Join us today at shadesofstrong.com*.
Cultivate a daily practice of nurturing yourself with Nurture Yourself Bingo
Nurturing yourself does not have to be difficult, but it does need to be consistent, so why not make it fun. Nurture Yourself Bingo is divided into five categories – one category per card. Each category has twenty-four activities to support you in a daily practice of nurturing yourself. All you need to do to get started is print the cards, laminate them, and start nurturing yourself.
Do one activity daily, marking a X in the squares as you go until you get bingo. Once you get bingo, do something to celebrate yourself. If you get bingo on more than one card at the same time, up the celebration. Alternatively, you can work on one card at a time and/or do more than one activity a day. It’s your practice, do what feels right for you. Whatever you decide, we’ve got FIVE CATEGORIES & 124 WAYS for you to do it.
Connect and share with us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
Black History Month, the one month some of us love and hate simultaneously — love because we get to shine a light on the greatness that is Black History and hate because it really didn’t have to be this way.
In today’s episode we BRIEFLY talk abou WHY it didn’t have to be this way, how Black history was intentionally and deliberately left out of American history and how we’re using the “cookie” [aka Black History Month] they gave us to honor a few of the Black women we love.
Check out the bullet points below and see if you can guess who we’re highlighting, then tune in as we share how they’ve each made an in the world, as well as in our personal lives.
Can you guess who we’re honoring in this episode ?
– Civil rights activist and the high-priestest of soul
– Singer and actress nicknamed “The Voice”
– Singer dubbed “the First Lady of Song?
– Poet well known for her poem, “Homeage to My Hip”s
LINKS YOU’LL BE GLAD YOU CLICKED ON
Come gather and grow with us in the SOS Sista Circle
Want to be a part of a community of sistas supporting sistas through the ebbs and flows of life? Consider being a part of the *SOS Virtual Sista Circle where we gather monthly to chat it up about all the things that concern us, while holding each other accountable with love — accountable for how we see ourselves, treat ourselves, walk through the world, and how we allow others to treat us. Join us today at shadesofstrong.com*.
Cultivate a daily practice of nurturing yourself with Nurture Yourself Bingo
Nurturing yourself does not have to be difficult, but it does need to be consistent, so why not make it fun. Nurture Yourself Bingo is divided into five categories – one category per card. Each category has twenty-four activities to support you in a daily practice of nurturing yourself. All you need to do to get started is print the cards, laminate them, and start nurturing yourself.
Do one activity daily, marking a X in the squares as you go until you get bingo. Once you get bingo, do something to celebrate yourself. If you get bingo on more than one card at the same time, up the celebration. Alternatively, you can work on one card at a time and/or do more than one activity a day. It’s your practice, do what feels right for you. Whatever you decide, we’ve got FIVE CATEGORIES & 124 WAYS for you to do it.
Connect and share with us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
Godly love dictataes that we show others what God is like, but is exemplifying such love causing Black women to dehumanize themselves?
Today’s conversation is a toucy one, but definitley one worth having. According to Biblical passage Godly love shows up in how we treat each other, but how does it show up in how we treat ourselves?
Before you go clutching your pearls sis, this is NOT a let’s bash God conversation. This is an open discussion raising a few reasonable questions for your consideration. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, go ahead and hit that play button.
Here are a few things that came up in our conversation:
– Biblical passages that MAY be causing Black women to dehumanize themselves
– Is the culture of Christianitly causing us to abandon ourselves?
– Does the abandonment of self equate to the dehumanization of self?
– What does loving your neighbor as yourself REALLY mean?
LINKS YOU’LL BE GLAD YOU CLICKED ON
Come gather and grow with us in the SOS Sista Circle
Want to be a part of a community of sistas supporting sistas through the ebbs and flows of life? Consider being a part of the *SOS Virtual Sista Circle where we gather monthly to chat it up about all the things that concern us, while holding each other accountable with love — accountable for how we see ourselves, treat ourselves, walk through the world, and how we allow others to treat us. Join us today at shadesofstrong.com*.
Cultivate a daily practice of nurturing yourself with Nurture Yourself Bingo
Nurturing yourself does not have to be difficult, but it does need to be consistent, so why not make it fun. Nurture Yourself Bingo is divided into five categories – one category per card. Each category has twenty-four activities to support you in a daily practice of nurturing yourself. All you need to do to get started is print the cards, laminate them, and start nurturing yourself.
Do one activity daily, marking a X in the squares as you go until you get bingo. Once you get bingo, do something to celebrate yourself. If you get bingo on more than one card at the same time, up the celebration. Alternatively, you can work on one card at a time and/or do more than one activity a day. It’s your practice, do what feels right for you. Whatever you decide, we’ve got FIVE CATEGORIES & 124 WAYS for you to do it.
Connect and share with us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
Loving yourself FIRST opens the door for you to unlearn the things people have told you about who you are.
Happy Valentine’s Day, sis! In today’s episode, we’re talking about all things LOVE — self love that is. If you’ve ever strugggled with loving ALL of you, you absolutley MUST tune in to this episode.
Today we’re sharing our experiences of how challenging it’s been to love the parts of us that others deem unloveable, how we’re on a journey of reclaiming our enoughness, and what it feels like to finally come home to ourselves.
Here are a few things that came up in our conversation:
– Learning to love all of you, — including the wounded parts of your soul
– Unbelieving the lies you’ve been told about who you are
– Loving yourself from the inside out and coming home to you
– Reclaiming your enougness even when you don’t think your’re enough
LINKS YOU’LL BE GLAD YOU CLICKED ON Come gather and grow with us in the SOS Sista CircleWant to be a part of a community of sistas supporting sistas through the ebbs and flows of life? Consider being a part of the SOS Virtual Sista Circle where we gather monthly to chat it up about all the things that concern us, while holding each other accountable with love — accountable for how we see ourselves, treat ourselves, walk through the world, and how we allow others to treat us. Join us today at shadesofstrong.com.
Cultivate a daily practice of nurturing yourself with Nurture Yourself BingoNurturing yourself does not have to be difficult, but it does need to be consistent, so why not make it fun. Nurture Yourself Bingo is divided into five categories – one category per card. Each category has twenty-four activities to support you in a daily practice of nurturing yourself. All you need to do to get started is print the cards, laminate them, and start nurturing yourself.
Do one activity daily, marking a X in the squares as you go until you get bingo. Once you get bingo, do something to celebrate yourself. If you get bingo on more than one card at the same time, up the celebration. Alternatively, you can work on one card at a time and/or do more than one activity a day. It’s your practice, do what feels right for you. Whatever you decide, we’ve got FIVE CATEGORIES & 124 WAYS for you to do it.
Connect and share with us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
Cultivating healthy girlfriendships is about creating a culture of trust — a culture where honesty is appreciated and reciprocated.
Today’s episode is an early celebration of Galentines Day, so in honor of the same we thought it would be fun to write a love letter of sorts to each other and we’re sharing those letters with you.
So go ahead and tap in, sis so you can hear us love on each other like girlfriends should. It is our hope that after listening to this episode you will have gained some insight on how you can express your love for the girlfriends in your life.
Here are a few things that came up in our conversation:
– Celebrating Galentine’s Day and what that can look like
– The importance of cultivating a culture that welcomes vulnerability
– Effectively holding space for the girlfriends in your life
– Creating a culture of trust [among girlfriends] that is non-judgmental and forgiving
LINKS YOU’LL BE GLAD YOU CLICKED ON – Cultivate a daily practice of nurturing yourself with Nurture Yourself Bingo– Come gather and grow with us in the SOS Sista Circle
Connect and share with us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
Want to be a part of a community of sistas supporting sistas through the ebbs and flows of life? Consider being a part of the *SOS Virtual Sista Circle where we gather monthly to chat it up about all the things that concern us, while holding each other accountable with love — accountable for how we see ourselves, treat ourselves, walk through the world, and how we allow others to treat us. Join us today at shadesofstrong.com.*
Wins, challenges, and revelations oh my! It’s the last day of the first month of the year and things have happened that need to be talked about.
… and we’re talking about all of them — well not all of them, but it’s still a pretty dope conversation. In this episode we share how we’re GROWING into our “my strong is” declarations since we declared them in episode one.
It’s only been thirty days, and let me just tell ya, there were wins, there were challenges and there were REVELATIONS, and there was us giving ourselves space to celebrate and permission to reset. Press play and come on this journey of reflection with us.
Here are a few things that came up in our conversation:
– Extending compassion and understanding to yourself
– Celebrating small wins and honoring baby steps
– Rethinking and relearning how things are supposed to be
– Giving yourself permission to reset and start again
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE – Cultivate a daily practice of nurturing yourself with Nurture Yourself Bingo– Come gather and grow with us in the SOS Sista Circle
Connect and share with us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
Want to be a part of a community of sistas supporting sistas through the ebbs and flows of life? Consider being a part of the *SOS Virtual Sista Circle where we gather monthly to chat it up about all the things that concern us, while holding each other accountable with love — accountable for how we see ourselves, treat ourselves, walk through the world, and how we allow others to treat us. Join us today at shadesofstrong.com*.
Listen to the Podcast Listen on Apple Podcast Listen on Spotify
Doing the most (for the purpose of this episode) is when a Black woman does WAY more than required or gives WAY more (energy) than she has to give to people, places, or things.
… either way she’s doing too much, and in today’s episode Shirl and Natty are saying, “you don’t have to do that sis.” But to be sure you’re NOT doing the most, you need others in your in your corner who hold you accountable.
Today’s conversation is going to support you in being sure you’re surrounded by people who care enough about your well-being to say, “sis you’re doing too much“ and not just say it, but also support you in NOT doing the most.
A few things that came up in today’s discussion:
– The importance of holding yourself accountable for how YOU treat YOU
– How your feelings, emotions, gut and past experiences hold you accountable
when you’re doing the most
– The difference between people in your circle and people in your corner
– Why you need community to support you in holding yourself accountable
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE – Cultivate a daily practice of nurturing yourself with Nurture Yourself Bingo– Come gather and grow with us in the SOS Sista Circle
Connect and share with us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
Want to be a part of a community of sistas supporting sistas through the ebbs and flows of life? Consider being a part of the *SOS Virtual Sista Circle where we gather monthly to chat it up about all the things that concern us, while holding each other accountable with love — accountable for how we see ourselves, treat ourselves, walk through the world, and how we allow others to treat us. Join us today at shadesofstrong.com*.
Listen to the Podcast Listen on Apple Podcast Listen on Spotify
Nurture yourself isn’t the buzz word that “self-care” is, but it definitely should be because Black women doing life from a place of exhaustion and overwhelm has been the running theme since our ancestors were stolen from Mother Africa and if anyone deserves nurturing it’s Black women.
And before you come for us, yes we [Shirl and Natty] know that self-care and nurturing yourself ride in the same lane of the self-love highway, but rather than lump everything into one self-care vehicle, we thought it would be fun to break self-care down into five nurture yourself energy fueled vehicles aka categories.
A few things that came up in today’s conversation: – Why Black women are slowly moving from the space of I hate it here to I love it here
– The five categories of nurturing yourself and why you need ALL of them
– How self-awareness and self-acceptance contribute to how you nurture yourself
– Nurture Yourself *Bingo Cards and how to use them (Grab yours HERE*)
Listen to the Podcast Listen on Apple Podcast Listen on Spotify
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Nurture Yourself Bingo
SOS Sista Circle
Connect and share with us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
Want to be a part of a community of sistas supporting sistas through the ebbs and flows of life? Consider being a part of the *SOS Virtual Sista Circle where we gather monthly to chat it up about all the things that concern us, while holding each other accountable with love — accountable for how we see ourselves, treat ourselves, walk through the world, and how we allow others to treat us. Join us today at shadesofstrong.com*.
Guarding your yes is as simple as reframing your no. We’ve all been there, right? Yes’ing all over the place because we don’t want to be seen as angry, difficult, or some other Black woman stereotype – saying yes to things we know we need to say no to, stretching ourselves beyond capacity because we don’t want to disappoint those who have come to depend on us, or not taking time to rejuvenate because as Black women, we’re supposed to do it all. Saying no is often hard for Black women because saying yes is so deeply embedded in the Black female culture, but aren’t you tired of being on the hamster wheel of always saying yes? In today’s episode of the Shades of Strong Podcast, Tangee Augustin, LCSW challenges listeners to get off the hamster wheel and get your no game up by knowing your limits and guarding your yes. Podcast: Guarding Your Yes vs Saying No w/Tangee Augustin #SHADESOFSTRONG #MYSTRONGIS https://shadesofstrong.com/guarding-your-yesClick To Tweet A few things Tangee shared during our conversation:
How to reframe your no and give yourself permission to NOT say yes The Black woman’s reluctance to saying no and how it’s directly related to people pleasing What it looks like to make the shift from saying no to guarding your yes How not saying can lead to burn out, anxiety, and depression
Listen to the Podcast Listen on Apple Podcast Listen on on Spotify
... just because it bears repeating “Changing the narrative from saying no to guarding your yes is youdoing something for you, which is exactly what it's all about. It's aboutsetting limits for what you'll say yes to.” “It's time to get off the hamster wheel of yes'ing all over the place. Guarding your yes is as simple as reframing your no." Changing the narrative from saying no to guarding your yes is you doing something for you. Say it with me, sis: I'm not saying no. I'm guarding my yes. #SHADESOFSTRONG #MYSTRONGISClick To Tweet
ABOUT TANGEE AUGUSTIN Tangee Augustin is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over 15 years of experience working in the human service field. She earned her BSW and Advanced Standing MSW at Virginia Commonwealth University. She is the co-owner and lead therapist of Avail Outpatient Counseling LLC, a mind-body practice. In her private practice, Tangee uses Evidenced-Based Conventional Therapies in conjunction with Complementary and Alternative Therapies such as meditation, mindfulness, nutritional counseling, and stress management (i.e., progressive relaxation, guided imagery, deep-breathing exercises). Tangee has a Mindfulness Certification, is a Certified Nutritional & Integrative Mental Health Provider, and a Reiki I & II Practitioner. She has undergone several training related to CBT, DBT, Trauma Informed Care, and non-pharmaceutical interventions for mental health disorders. Her holistic and therapeutic approach encompasses the whole person including physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, social, and environmental aspects. Connect with Tangee Augustin on Instragram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn.
Your Turn, Sis! We’re using our My Strong Is™ campaign to encourage our listeners to give up a life of hyper-independence, hyper-productivity, and hyper-resilience in exchange for one of play and ease. My Strong Is is a campaign where we’re highlighting Black women who are daring to do strong differently – Black women who are making a conscious and deliberate effort to give up a life of caping, masking, and hiding. We would love to hear how you define strong. All you have to do is complete the statement, “My strong is” and tag us (@shadesofstrong) on your favorite social media platform using the hashtags #shadesofstrong and #mystrongis. Alternatively, you can come be a guest on the podcast and share your strong with our listeners. Either way, we want to know!!! Connect with Shades of Strong on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter,
Being still and embracing quiet moments gives me Easy Like Sunday Morning vibes. It's liberating, you know?
It's not necessarily about not physically moving, it's about creating a life with less stress, worry, and emotional overwhelm and Kimberly Sumpter is committed to mastering the art of it.
In this episode, Kimberly gives me an inside look at what it took for her to finally go from a life of extreme overwhelm to one where she intentionally and unapologetically ceates time to play, breathe and connect.
A few things she shared during our conversation:
The defining moment when she realzied she needed to do life differently The importance of giving ourselves space to stop, breathe, rest and grieve How learned behavior [from her mother] contributed to her "need" to always be on the move Why she finds something once a week that makes her bawl cry and something every single day that makes her laugh A very POWEFUL practice she's integrated into her life to help her stay grounded. SN: It's not meditation or yoga, but it's just as powerful.
A Couple of Quoteable Moments: “I can still have a voice, I can still do what I do without having to be on social media and in that game 24/7." "Making sure you're enjoy life is so important. It's hard to enjoy life when you feel so beaten down by the world and all the things you're doing"
ABOUT KIMBERLY SUMPTER Kimberly Sumpter is a podcast instructor who encourages women of color to expand their reach and share their unique stories through the power of podcasting. Before launching "Podcast To Empower" during the COVID-19 pandemic, Kimberly spent over seventeen years as a Radio Announcer, News and Traffic Reporter, and Promotions Director with a successful and rewarding career at major media brands including Clear Channel Radio, Service Broadcasting, and Radio One in Dallas, Texas. Kimberly now mentors and coaches emerging podcasters with her signature "concept to launch" approach to find their unique voice as they craft compelling content for their ideal listeners. She currently teaches the fundamentals of podcasting to students from around the world through the Classroom Au Pair program and at Hudson County Community College in Jersey City, NJ.
Kimberly is the host of the Sistahs Connect Podcast and has been featured on MSNBC, the Podcast Business Journal, Authority Magazine, Izzy and Liv, and on Libsyn.com.
Connect with Kimberly Sumpter on Instragram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn.
Your Turn, Sis!
We're using our My Strong Is™ campaign to encourage our listeners to give up a life of hyper-independence, hyper-productivity, and hyper-resilience in exchange for one of play and ease.
My Strong Is is a campaign where we're highlighting Black women who are daring to do strong differently – Black women who are making a conscious and deliberate effort to give up a life of caping, masking, and hiding.
We would love to hear how you define strong. All you have to do is complete the statement, "My strong is" and tag us (@shadesofstrong) on your favorite social media platform using the hashtags #shadesofstrong and #mystrongis. Alternatively, you can come be our guest on the podcast and share your strong with our listeners. Either way, we want to know!!!
Connect with Shades of Strong on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
Catch up on Previous Episodes: S5 | Ep 005 A Journey to Being Soft and Strong S5 | Ep 004 The Journey Towards, Vulnerability, Grace, and Ease S5 | Ep 003 Mental Health, Resilience, and Postpartum Depression S5 | Ep 002 Steady, Present, and Free Even When Life Be Lifing S5 | Ep 001 Finding Comfort in Stitting with Uncomfortable Emotions
Do Black women GET to be soft and strong? Do they have the capacity to be soft, feminine, strong and receptive? There are so many layers to these questions, and Ivory Bennett stopped by to start peeling them all back.
Join us in today's episode as she takes us on a journey of what it took for her to finally tap into being soft, feminine, and receptive. Ivory admits that arriving in this space hasn't been easy, and it is indeed challenging to remain there, but she's determined not to go back to that space where being hard was all she had. She gets really candid and transparent about how racism and spending seventeen years in foster care made it extremely difficult to be soft as a matter of fact, she tells a story how being soft was not an option until she got deliberate and intentional about making it one. Tweetable Moments: “Being strong doesn’t have to look, sound or feel a certain way, and being soft doesn’t have to go against our survival." "As Black women we can unconsciously, or sometimes deliberately make it difficult for other Black women to rest." “We need to get out of the mindset of hardening people up, or getting them prepared for the world in a way that is damaging...”
ABOUT IVORY BENNETT Ivory Bennett (She/Her/Hers) is a Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania native who is currently a Manager of Teacher Leadership and Development in Dallas, Texas. Additionally, Ivory is an active advocate for both education and foster care equity - she has 17 years of lived experience in foster care. Outside of Education, Ivory is an avid writer with a particular passion for poetry and playwriting. Ivory loves international travel, holistic health practices, vegan soul food, and tending to her plant babies. Check out Ivory's article mentioned in today's episode HERE.
Connect with Ivory Bennett on Instragram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn.
Your Turn, Sis!
We're using our My Strong Is™ campaign to encourage our listeners to give up a life of hyper-independence, hyper-productivity, and hyper-resilience in exchange for one of play and ease.
My Strong Is is a campaign where we're highlighting Black women who are daring to do strong differently – Black women who are making a conscious and deliberate effort to give up a life of caping, masking, and hiding.
We would love to hear how you define strong. All you have to do is complete the statement, "My strong is" and tag us (@shadesofstrong) on your favorite social media platform using the hashtags #shadesofstrong and #mystrongis. Alternatively, you can come be our guest on the podcast and share your strong with our listeners. Either way, we want to know!!!
Connect with Shades of Strong on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
Catch up on Previous Episodes: S5 | Ep 004 The Journey Towards, Vulnerability, Grace, and Ease S5 | Ep 003 Mental Health, Resilience, and Postpartum Depression S5 | Ep 002 Steady, Present, and Free Even When Life Be Lifing S5 | Ep 001 Finding Comfort in Stitting with Uncomfortable Emotions Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Contrary to popular belief, Black women are extremely vulnerable. Whether we embrace that vulnerbility with grace and ease is a whole other Story.
In today's epiosede Trezelle Morgain takes us on her journey towards grace, vulnerability and ease. She admits getting to a place where she wasble to stand in the totality of who she is was no easy feat, but she was tired of being hyper-independent and hyper-productive.
When Covid graced us with her presence, Trezellefound herself feeling stuck and hopeless and she knew something in her life needed to change. After several years of "BEING STRONG", she finally begin to realize that being strong was not all she had and found the couragce to embrace and stand up in her vulnerability. In doing so, she is now able to do life from a place of grace and ease.
Press Play and GET INTO THIS AWESOMENESS!
ABOUT TREZELLE MORGAIN
Trezelle Morgain is a multi-passionate business, fashion & lifestyle creative. The founder of Eco Onyx, Colony Coterie & Melanated Model.
With goals of becoming a VC & living a life filled with grace, impact & prosperity, Trezelle shows up as a mom, stylist, model, business guide & consultant & many other passions. Trezelle Inclusive, what’s the main focus? Well it depends on the day.
Connect with Trezelle on Instragram @trezelle.inc and on her website at trezelleinc.com.
Your Turn, Sis!
We're using our My Strong Is™ campaign to encourage our listeners to give up a life of hyper-independence, hyper-productivity, and hyper-resilience in exchange for one of play and ease.
My Strong Is is a campaign where we're highlighting Black women who are daring to do strong differently – Black women who are making a conscious and deliberate effort to give up a life of caping, masking, and hiding.
We would love to hear how you define strong. All you have to do is complete the statement, "My strong is" and tag us (@shadesofstrong) on your favorite social media platform using the hashtags #shadesofstrong and #mystrongis. Alternatively, you can come be our guest on the podcast and share your strong with our listeners. Either way, we want to know!!!
Connect with Shades of Strong on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
Catch up on Previous Episodes: S5 | Ep 003 Mental Health, Resilience, and Postpartum Depression S5 | Ep 002 Steady, Present, and Free Even When Life Be Lifing S5 | Ep 001 Finding Comfort in Stitting with Uncomfortable Emotions Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome Day 1 — Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers
Mental Health, Resilience, and Postpartum Depression often get a bad rap in the Black female community. Mental health because it's highly stigmatized, resilience because Black women are often celebrated for their bounce back game even when it's to their own detriment, and postpartum depression because depression in and of itself is taboo – add postpartum in front of it and it becomes even more taboo.
We’re glad "critically acclaimed and born" Sasha Nicole is going against the grain and talking about ALL OF IT no matter how taboo or uncomfortable it may be. She stopped by the virtual studio to chat it up and pour it out about her experience with severe postpartum depression, resilience and how both impacted her mental health.
The reality is we may not look like what we've been through, but we've most certainly fought battles and bounced back from circumstances that probably could have and should have taken us out. That's what resilience looks like for most of us, but for Sasha Nicole it also looks like being able to overcome her own self-inflicted obstacles and taking accountability for the choices she's made.
There are levels to this sh*t and Sasha Nicole is not afraid to break it all down. From reframing resilience to the disparities in mental health and the lack of knowledge and awareness around postpartum depression, she leaves no stone unturned. Press Play and GET INTO THIS AWESOMENESS! Tweetable Moments: “ In many cases there are a lot of Black women who are forced to be hyper-resilient for reasons stemming from trauma..." CLICK TO TWEET. “A lot of times we like to go through fires and pretend we didn't get burned. We keep putting that band-aid on and using resiliency as a way to wear the cape and keep going.” CLICK TO TWEET.
ABOUT SASHA NICOLE
For women who feel stuck and stagnant in life, Sasha Nicole teaches how to feel more confident and courageous through various courses, motivational videos, coaching, and keynote speeches.
As a mental health advocate in the wellness industry for over ten years who not only survived severe postpartum depression and thrives with a mental health condition, it is her mission to assist others in living a healed and whole life while honing in on what truly makes you happy.
Connect with Sasha on Instragram @therealsashanicole and on her website at www.fearlessnfluence.com. If you need support managing life after birth, connect with her at Partum Evolution or join the support group HERE.
Your Turn, Sis!
We're using our My Strong Is™ campaign to encourage our listeners to give up a life of hyper-independence, hyper-productivity, and hyper-resilience in exchange for one of play and ease.
My Strong Is is a campaign where we're highlighting Black women who are daring to do strong differently – Black women who are making a conscious and deliberate effort to give up a life of caping, masking, and hiding.
We would love to hear how you define strong. All you have to do is complete the statement, "My strong is" and tag us (@shadesofstrong) on your favorite social media platform using the hashtags #shadesofstrong and #mystrongis. Alternatively, you can come be our guest on the podcast and share your strong with our listeners. Either way, we want to know!!!
Connect with Shades of Strong on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
Catch up on Previous Episodes: S5 | Ep 002 Steady, Present, and Free Even When Life Be Lifing S5 | Ep 001 Finding Comfort in Stitting with Uncomfortable Emotions Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome Day 1 — Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers
Life be lifing!!!! How many times have you said that to yourself in a week, a month, a day? Yeah, I said a day because "depending on the kind of life you're living, life be happening (aka lifing) every 30 seconds for you."
But, don't worry sis, we got you!
My good friend, Chelsea Wallace came through to drop some knowledge on how we can ALL remain steady, present, and free even when LIFE LBE LIFING super hard.
"Life is so unpredictable in its routine, you can end up in a position where you are consistently triggered." If you don't process and effectively move through those triggers, life doing what it does will have you in a constant state of chaos and unease.
In today's episode Chelsea shares how she processes and move through life's triggers so that she always lands in a place of steadiness, presence and freedom. Tweetable Moments: “I came to the realization that I don't have to follow every trigger, every scenario. I don't have to sit in those things. You cannot affect me unless I allow you to" CLICK TO TWEET. “So very often we run on auto pilot and don't make the intentional choices that are ours to make.” CLICK TO TWEET.
ABOUT CHELSEA WALLACE
Chelsea Wallace, the Launch Copy Coach, is a Launch Coach and High-Ticket Copywriter who has helped hundreds of online brands execute multi-5 and 6 figure marketing campaigns, grossing over $3,000,000 in revenue.
As The Launch Copy Coach, she supports online coaches and course creators who want to create high-revenue launches but refuse to compromise their well-being to do so.
Connect with Chelsea on Instragram @thelaunchcopycoach.
Your Turn, Sis!
We're using our My Strong Is™ campaign to encourage our listeners to give up a life of hyper-independence, hyper-productivity, and hyper-resilience in exchange for one of play and ease.
My Strong Is is a campaign where we're highlighting Black women who are daring to do strong differently – Black women who are making a conscious and deliberate effort to give up a life of caping, masking, and hiding.
We would love to hear how you define strong. All you have to do is complete the statement, "My strong is" and tag us (@shadesofstrong) on your favorite social media platform using the hashtags #shadesofstrong and #mystrongis. Alternatively, you can come be our guest on the podcast and share your strong with our listeners. Either way, we want to know!!!
Connect with Shades of Strong on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
Catch up on Previous Episodes: S5 | Ep 001 Finding Comfort in Stitting with Uncomfortable Emotions Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome Day 1 — Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers DAY 5 People Pleasing A Harmless Act of Love or a Mental Health Risk? Day 6 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | Ten Whole Years of People Pleasing
Sitting with uncomfortable emotions is undoubtedly one of the most challenging experiences you will encounter along life's journey. It’s also one of the most needed to enjoy a life of wholeness and total surrender.
I am joined in the virtual studio by one of the most unapologetic and authentic Black women I have met to date. Wendi Dixon is a beautiful soul who has experienced trauma in various areas of her life, but has found comfort, freedom, and peace in sitting with the uncomfortable emotions that once wreaked havoc on her life.
I started my conversation with Wendi by asking her to repeat and complete the statement, "My strong is". She responded with, ″My strong is emotion. I'm able to sit in the dark and the light."
In today's episode, she paints a really vivid [before and after] picture of her journey to being able to sit in the "dark and the light" aka sitting with her emotions whether good or bad, happy or sad. Tweetable Moments: "Trauma is not only what happens to you or the events that occur in your life; it's what didn't happen to you as well." CLICK TO TWEET.
"You can only meet people where you have already met yourself. I can't hold space for you if I can't hold space for me. I don't even know what holding space looks like." CLICK TO TWEET
ABOUT WENDI:
Wendi is a Certified Circle Facilitator, Death Doula and budding Trauma Healing Guide based out of Kentucky. It is her soul's purpose to help you grow by bringing the outer aspects of yourself into alignment with your inner truths.
As your mentor and guide, she walks with you as you step into your sovereignty, and freedom to live openly as your authentic self.
In her spare time, she enjoys learning about indigenous cultures, and traditions, spending time in nature, and volunteering at her local hospice. Wendi is a first generation American who came from humble beginnings between Chicago and a small village in Belize, Central America. She considers both places home.
Every month she facilitates Sister Circles as well as New & Full Moon Circles via Zoom. Get more information about these events by visiting her website TheShadowDoula.com.
Your Turn, Sis!
We're using our My Strong Is™ campaign to encourage our listeners to give up a life of hyper-independence, hyper-productivity, and hyper-resilience in exchange for one of play and ease.
My Strong Is is a campaign where we're highlighting Black women who are daring to do strong differently – Black women who are making a conscious and deliberate effort to give up a life of caping, masking, and hiding.
We would love to hear how you define strong. All you have to do is complete the statement, "My strong is" and tag us (@shadesofstrong) on your favorite social media platform using the hashtags #shadesofstrong and #mystrongis.
Connect with Shades of Strong on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter and catch up with all things Shades of Strong at www.shadesofstrong.com.
Catch up on Previous Episodes: Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome Day 1 — Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers DAY 5 People Pleasing A Harmless Act of Love or a Mental Health Risk? Day 6 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | Ten Whole Years of People Pleasing Day 7 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Kick People Pleasing to the Curb
Magical things happen when Black women heal! PERIOD!!!
Shirl and Natty are extending an invitation for you to be a part of a close knit sistahood built on love, friendship, support, and accountability. A space where sistas lean on each other in times of trouble and unrest, and dance with each other in times of celebration.
Tap into the final episode of Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding series for a conversation about the Sista Circle of Healing, the healing journey, the benefits of healing in community, and how a circle of healing can be a powerful supplement to therapy.
If you find yourself in this or previous episodes, and are ready to start your journey to healing, please consider joining us in the Sista Circle of Healing.
And be sure to join us in the Shades of Strong Facebook Community. The Facebook community is a safe space where you can connect with other Black women and have open and honest discussions about things that concern us individually and collectively. This is a safe space where we can lean on each other in times of trouble and unrest, and dance with each other in times of celebration.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
Day 10 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhidng |The Fight Trauma Response & Cookie Lyon Day 9 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Ride or Die That is Cookie Lyon Day 8 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Is Cookie Lyon an Angry Black Woman Day 7 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Kick People Pleasing to the Curb Day 6 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | Ten Whole Years of People Pleasing DAY 5 People Pleasing A Harmless Act of Love or a Mental Health Risk? Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
Dear Black women, you don't have to be over "IT" by now.
Dear Black women, you don't have to be in a sunken place.
Dear Black women, You DERSERVE to be HEALED, EVOLVED, RESTORED.
Tap in today's episode as Shirl and Natty share some of their personal barriers to healing, how they veiw trauma and how they moved through the barriers AND the trauma, and are now on a journey of healing that let's them experience life from a place of wholeness and happiness.
And be sure to join us in the Shades of Strong Facebook Community to share your thoughts with us.
The Facebook community is a safe space where you can connect with other Black women and have open and honest discussions about things that concern us individually and collectively. This is a safe space where we can lean on each other in times of trouble and unrest, and dance with each other in times of celebration.
If you find yourself in this or previous episodes, and are ready to start your journey to healing, please consider joining us in the Sista Circle of Healing.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
Day 10 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhidng |The Fight Trauma Response & Cookie Lyon Day 9 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Ride or Die That is Cookie Lyon Day 8 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Is Cookie Lyon an Angry Black Woman Day 7 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Kick People Pleasing to the Curb Day 6 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | Ten Whole Years of People Pleasing DAY 5 People Pleasing A Harmless Act of Love or a Mental Health Risk? Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
Sis!!! It's time go get off the hamster wheel of perfection. It is endless cycle of exhaustion to the land of nowhere, and is serving absolutely no purpose in your life.
Tap in to this episode to get a few simple strategies on how to give yourself permission to not be perfect.
And be sure to join us in the Shades of Strong Facebook Community to share your thoughts with us.
The Facebook community is a safe space where you can connect with other Black women and have open and honest discussions about things that concern us individually and collectively. This is a safe space where we can lean on each other in times of trouble and unrest, and dance with each other in times of celebration.
If you find yourself in this or previous episodes, and are ready to start your journey to healing, please consider joining us in the Sista Circle of Healing. The next cohort starts November 9th.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
Day 10 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhidng |The Fight Trauma Response & Cookie Lyon Day 9 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Ride or Die That is Cookie Lyon Day 8 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Is Cookie Lyon an Angry Black Woman Day 7 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Kick People Pleasing to the Curb Day 6 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | Ten Whole Years of People Pleasing DAY 5 People Pleasing A Harmless Act of Love or a Mental Health Risk? Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
If you feel like you’re constantly having to walk on eggshells around your mom – trying not to upset her, if you obsess over getting her approval or being accepted by her, if she’s critical of everything you do and those things are causing you unrest, or if her absence (physically or emotionally) is/was very apparent and that’s causing you discontent, if the very thought of being in her presence causes you anxiety you may have a mother daughter wound.
Tap in to this episode as Shirl and Natty peel back another layer of Mary Jane Paul's cape and mask to shine a light on the mother daughter relationship that gradually grew into a mother daughter wound.
And be sure to join us in the Shades of Strong Facebook Community to share your thoughts with us.
The Facebook community is a safe space where you can connect with other Black women and have open and honest discussions about things that concern us individually and collectively. This is a safe space where we can lean on each other in times of trouble and unrest, and dance with each other in times of celebration.
If you find yourself in this or previous episodes, and are ready to start your journey to healing, please consider joining us in the Sista Circle of Healing. The next cohort starts November 9th.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
Day 10 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhidng |The Fight Trauma Response & Cookie Lyon Day 9 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Ride or Die That is Cookie Lyon Day 8 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Is Cookie Lyon an Angry Black Woman Day 7 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Kick People Pleasing to the Curb Day 6 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | Ten Whole Years of People Pleasing DAY 5 People Pleasing A Harmless Act of Love or a Mental Health Risk? Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
In today's episode of Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding. Shirl and Natty take a look at some Mary Jane Paul's unhealed trauma and how it contributes to the way she does life. Mary Jane didn't come out of the womb wanting to every area of her life to be perfect -- she didn't come out of the womb want to save all the people.
Perfectionism is actually rooted in emotional neglect that usually starts in childhood and follows you into adulthood.
Tap in to this episode to hear what they have to say about Mary Jane Paul's unresolved trauma, her relationship with her mom and how all of that make Mary Jane Paul who she is.
And be sure to join us in the Shades of Strong Facebook Community to share your thoughts with us.
The Facebook community is a safe space where you can connect with other Black women and have open and honest discussions about things that concern us individually and collectively. This is a safe space where we can lean on each other in times of trouble and unrest, and dance with each other in times of celebration.
If you find yourself in this or previous episodes, and are ready to start your journey to healing, please consider joining us in the Sista Circle of Healing. The next cohort starts November 9th.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
Day 10 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhidng |The Fight Trauma Response & Cookie Lyon Day 9 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Ride or Die That is Cookie Lyon Day 8 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Is Cookie Lyon an Angry Black Woman Day 7 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Kick People Pleasing to the Curb Day 6 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | Ten Whole Years of People Pleasing DAY 5 People Pleasing A Harmless Act of Love or a Mental Health Risk? Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
How many times have you found yourself asking:
Why do I keep attracting men that cheat?
Men who don't consistently choose me?
Men who are emotionally unavailable?
Men with no ambition?
You got questions, Shirl and Natty got answers. Tap in to this episode to hear what they have to say about why Mary Jane Paul (and you) keep getting love bombed and often finds herself in unhealthy or dysfunctional relationships.
And be sure to join us in the Shades of Strong Facebook Community to share your thoughts with us.
The Facebook community is a safe space where you can connect with other Black women and have open and honest discussions about things that concern us individually and collectively. This is a safe space where we can lean on each other in times of trouble and unrest, and dance with each other in times of celebration.
If you find yourself in this or previous episodes, and are ready to start your journey to healing, please consider joining us in the Sista Circle of Healing. The next cohort starts November 9th.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
Day 10 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhidng |The Fight Trauma Response & Cookie Lyon Day 9 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Ride or Die That is Cookie Lyon Day 8 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Is Cookie Lyon an Angry Black Woman Day 7 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Kick People Pleasing to the Curb Day 6 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | Ten Whole Years of People Pleasing DAY 5 People Pleasing A Harmless Act of Love or a Mental Health Risk? Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
If perfectionism is the enemy of happiness, why are so many striving for it?!?
WHEW!!! That's a loaded question, right? But the truth is none of us wants to be perfect because perfectionism is too heavy a burden to bear. What we really want is to be LOVED, ACCEPTED, and fully ALIGNED with who we were created to be.
In today's episode, Shirl and Natty share pieces of their journey to how perfectionism was ingrained in their lives from childhood and how they escaped it.
Press play to hear what they have to say and be sure to listen til the end for a POWERFUL reflection question that will help you on your journey to healng. And be sure to joiin us in the Shades of Strong Facebook Community to share your response with us.
The Facebook community is a safe space where you can connect with other Black women and have open and honest discussions about things that concern us individually and collectively. This is a safe space where we can lean on each other in times of trouble and unrest, and dance with each other in times of celebration.
If you find yourself in this or previous episodes, and are ready to start your journey to healing, please consider joining us in the Sista Circle of Healing. The next cohort starts November 9th.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
Day 10 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhidng |The Fight Trauma Response & Cookie Lyon Day 9 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Ride or Die That is Cookie Lyon Day 8 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Is Cookie Lyon an Angry Black Woman Day 7 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Kick People Pleasing to the Curb Day 6 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | Ten Whole Years of People Pleasing DAY 5 People Pleasing A Harmless Act of Love or a Mental Health Risk? Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
Somewhere along life's journey, Mary Jane Paul [like so many Black women] got the message that the needs of others should be prioritized over hers. She went from one unhealthy relationship to the next giving others the very things she was lacking in her life.
In today's episode, Shirl and Natty peel back more layers of Mary Jane Paul in an effort to determine what her kryptonite is.
Just knowing what you know of Mary Jane Paul, what do you think her kryptonite (the thing that weakens her) is? The desire to be wanted? The need to be nurtured? Trouble saying no? Being loved bombed by the men in her life? Tap in to hear what Shirl and Natty think.
When you're finished, hop over to the Shades of Strong Facebook Community and let them know if you agree. The Facebook community is a safe space where you can connect with other Black women and have open and honest discussions about things that concern us individually and collectively. This is a safe space where we can lean on each other in times of trouble and unrest, and dance with each other in times of celebration.
If you find yourself in this or previous episodes, and are ready to start your journey to healing, please consider joining us in the Sista Circle of Healing. The next cohort starts November 9th.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
Day 10 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhidng |The Fight Trauma Response & Cookie Lyon Day 9 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Ride or Die That is Cookie Lyon Day 8 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Is Cookie Lyon an Angry Black Woman Day 7 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Kick People Pleasing to the Curb Day 6 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | Ten Whole Years of People Pleasing DAY 5 People Pleasing A Harmless Act of Love or a Mental Health Risk? Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
In today's episode of the Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding series Shirl and Natty welcome listeners to the first day of peeling back the layers of Mary Jane Paul of the hit show Being Mary Jane.
Being Mary Jane is a story of a single Black woman trying to balance a busy career, a needy family, and an extremely complicated personal life all while living up to a misguided view of perfection and success.
Mediocrity is never an option for Mary Jane. She/s out here in theese news anchor streets with her perfect career, perfect car, and perfect house and dreaming about the perfect love. But clearly Mary Jane didn't get the memo that mediocrity is not the opposite of perfection.
But, she gon' learn today. LOL!!! Tap in and let's get this healing, sis and when you're finished, share your thoughts with us in the Shades of Strong Facebook Community. Our Facebook community is a safe space where you can connect with other Black women and have open and honest discussions about things that concern us individually and collectively. This is a safe space where we can lean on each other in times of trouble and unrest, and dance with each other in times of celebration.
If you find yourself in this or previous episodes, and are ready to start your journey to healing, please consider joining us in the Sista Circle of Healing. The next cohort starts November 9th.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
Day 10 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhidng |The Fight Trauma Response & Cookie Lyon Day 9 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Ride or Die That is Cookie Lyon Day 8 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Is Cookie Lyon an Angry Black Woman Day 7 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Kick People Pleasing to the Curb Day 6 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | Ten Whole Years of People Pleasing DAY 5 People Pleasing A Harmless Act of Love or a Mental Health Risk? Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
Today is the final day of uncaping, unmasking, and unhiding Annalise Keating. Shirl and Natty close it by offering a few strategies to overcome living a life of a manipulator and performer.
It's so easy to UNKOWINGLY get caught up in this kind of behavior, but there a is so much freedom and just being you and not feeling the need to "trick" others into meeting your needs. Think about the emotional labor that goes into being a master performer and master manipulator -- the emotional labor that goes into faking it. Then ask yourself if it's worth it.
You don't have to edit yourself to be anyone's space and if you find yourself doing that, it's time to plan an exit strategy. Tap in now to get these strategies, and when you're finished, share your thoughts with us in the Shades of Strong Facebook Community. Our Facebook community is a safe space where you can connect with other Black women and have open and honest discussions about things that concern us individually and collectively. This is a safe space where we can lean on each other in times of trouble and unrest, and dance with each other in times of celebration.
If you find yourself in this or previous episodes, and are ready to start your journey to healing, please consider joining us in the Sista Circle of Healing. The next cohort starts November 9th.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
Day 10 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhidng |The Fight Trauma Response & Cookie Lyon Day 9 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Ride or Die That is Cookie Lyon Day 8 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Is Cookie Lyon an Angry Black Woman Day 7 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Kick People Pleasing to the Curb Day 6 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | Ten Whole Years of People Pleasing DAY 5 People Pleasing A Harmless Act of Love or a Mental Health Risk? Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
In today's episode of the Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding series Shirl and Natty tackle the topic of what happens when you choose to live a life where you're hiding your true self.
Shirl and Natty are both of the belief that hiding your true self is a form of self abuse and encourage listeners to STAND IN THEIR TRUTH and SHINE A LIGHT ON IT.
...but before you can stand in your truth or stop hiding who you really are, you first need to Know who you are, tap in to hear their thoughts on how you can answer that question and when you're finished, share your thoughts with us in the Shades of Strong Facebook Community. Our Facebook community is a safe space where you can connect with other Black women and have open and honest discussions about things that concern us individually and collectively. This is a safe space where we can lean on each other in times of trouble and unrest, and dance with each other in times of celebration.
If you find yourself in this or previous episodes, and are ready to start your journey to healing, please consider joining us in the Sista Circle of Healing. The next cohort starts November 9th.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
Day 10 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhidng |The Fight Trauma Response & Cookie Lyon Day 9 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Ride or Die That is Cookie Lyon Day 8 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Is Cookie Lyon an Angry Black Woman Day 7 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Kick People Pleasing to the Curb Day 6 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | Ten Whole Years of People Pleasing DAY 5 People Pleasing A Harmless Act of Love or a Mental Health Risk? Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
The UNCAPING, UNMASKING, and UNHIDING with Shirl and Natty is getting real. In today's episode as they start wrapping up peeling back the layers of Annalise Keating, they take a deep dive into the murky world of the manipulator to address some of the consequences of engaging in manipulative behavior.
In this conversation Shirl and Natty get honest about being on the receiving end of a manipulator, as well as the mental and emotional effects of the same. But they don't just stop there, they also touched on a few tell-tell signs to recognize when you're being manipulated, as well when you're the the one doing the manipulating.
You should totally tap in to hear their thoughts and when you're finished, share your thoughts with us in the Shades of Strong Facebook Community. Our Facebook community is a safe space where you can connect with other Black women and have open and honest discussions about things that concern us individually and collectively. This is a safe space where we can lean on each other in times of trouble and unrest, and dance with each other in times of celebration.
If you find yourself in this or previous episodes, and are ready to start your journey to healing, please consider joining us in the Sista Circle of Healing. The next cohort starts November 9th.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
Day 10 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhidng |The Fight Trauma Response & Cookie Lyon Day 9 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Ride or Die That is Cookie Lyon Day 8 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Is Cookie Lyon an Angry Black Woman Day 7 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Kick People Pleasing to the Curb Day 6 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | Ten Whole Years of People Pleasing DAY 5 People Pleasing A Harmless Act of Love or a Mental Health Risk? Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
In today's episode of the UNCAPING, UNMASKING, and UNHIDING series, Shirl and Natty take look at Annalise's lack of emotional safety and the situational or childhood trauma that contributed it to thereby leading her in manipulative and controlling behavior.
A few things they explored in this conversation were the varying circumstances that causes feelings of lack of security and safety, how most don't recognize they're engaging in manipulative or performative behavior and how challenging it can be to change the behavior.
Tap in to this episode to hear their thoughts and when you're finished, share your thoughts with us in the Shades of Strong Facebook Community. Our Facebook community is a safe space where you can connect with other Black women and have open and honest discussions about things that concern us individually and collectively. This is a safe space where we can lean on each other in times of trouble and unrest, and dance with each other in times of celebration.
If you find yourself in this or previous episodes, and are ready to start your journey to healing, please consider joining us in the Sista Circle of Healing. The next cohort starts November 9th.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
Day 10 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhidng |The Fight Trauma Response & Cookie Lyon Day 9 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Ride or Die That is Cookie Lyon Day 8 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Is Cookie Lyon an Angry Black Woman Day 7 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Kick People Pleasing to the Curb Day 6 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | Ten Whole Years of People Pleasing DAY 5 People Pleasing A Harmless Act of Love or a Mental Health Risk? Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
In today's episode of the UNCAPING, UNMASKING, and UNHIDING series, Shirl and Natty take a look at Annalise's response to her lived experiences to determine what her trauma response is -- fight, flight, fawn or freeze.
While the fight trauma response is about self-preservation and often times vindication, the flight trauma response is about fleeing the situation physically, mentally and/or emotionally. Annalise actually exhibits behaviors of both.
So what say you? Tap in to this episode to hear our thoughts and when you're finished, share your thoughts with us in the Shades of Strong Facebook Community. Our Facebook community is a safe space where you can connect with other Black women and have open and honest discussions about things that concern us individually and collectively. This is a safe space where we can lean on each other in times of trouble and unrest, and dance with each other in times of celebration.
If you find yourself in this or previous episodes, and are ready to start your journey to healing, please consider joining us in the Sista Circle of Healing. The next cohort starts November 9th.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
Day 10 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhidng |The Fight Trauma Response & Cookie Lyon Day 9 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Ride or Die That is Cookie Lyon Day 8 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Is Cookie Lyon an Angry Black Woman Day 7 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Kick People Pleasing to the Curb Day 6 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | Ten Whole Years of People Pleasing DAY 5 People Pleasing A Harmless Act of Love or a Mental Health Risk? Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
Growing up in an unpredictable or unsafe environment forces you into a space where you feel the need to control everything and everyone. Such was the case with Annalise Keating.
In yesterday's episode, Shirl and Natty discussed Annalise's cape and mask as the master manipulator and master performer. In today's episode they chat it up about how her manipulative behavior gave birth to the need to control the outcome of not only life's circumstances, but the need to control those around her as well.
But in order for them to take a look at her need to control ALL THE THINGS, they also need to take a look at her lived experiences that forced her into that space.
Tap in to see what conclusions where drawn and when you're finished join them in Shades of Strong Facebook Community to let them know if agree or disagree. Our Facebook community is a safe space where you can connect with other Black women and have open and honest discussions about things that concern us individually and collectively. This is a safe space where we can lean on each other in times of trouble and unrest, and dance with each other in times of celebration.
If you find yourself in this or previous episodes, and are ready to start your journey to healing, please consider joining us in the Sista Circle of Healing. The next cohort starts November 9th.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
Day 10 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhidng |The Fight Trauma Response & Cookie Lyon Day 9 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Ride or Die That is Cookie Lyon Day 8 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Is Cookie Lyon an Angry Black Woman Day 7 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Kick People Pleasing to the Curb Day 6 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | Ten Whole Years of People Pleasing DAY 5 People Pleasing A Harmless Act of Love or a Mental Health Risk? Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
There's nothing badass about being a MASTER MANIPULATOR or a MASTER PERFORMER, but some how Annalise Keating makes it look desirable.
Join Shirl in Natty in today's episode of Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding, where they start the process of UNCAPING AND UNMASKING Annalise Keating from the hit show, How to Get Away with Murder.
While Oliva Pope and Cookie Lyon were caught up in people pleasing and people proving, Annalise Keating was all about that master manipulator and master performer life.
Tap in to get the scoop on how the manipulator and performer show up in Annalise's life and how it possibly shows up in yours, and when you're finished we would love to see your face in the Shades of Strong Facebook Community where you can connect with other Black women and have open and honest discussions about things that concern us individually and collectively. This is a safe space where we can lean on each other in times of trouble and unrest, and dance with each other in times of celebration.
Sis, if you find that you're fighting to prove your love and worth to others, please consider joining us in the Sista Circle of Healing, so that you can start your journey to healing. The next cohort starts November 9th.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
Day 10 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhidng |The Fight Trauma Response & Cookie Lyon Day 9 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Ride or Die That is Cookie Lyon Day 8 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Is Cookie Lyon an Angry Black Woman Day 7 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Kick People Pleasing to the Curb Day 6 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | Ten Whole Years of People Pleasing DAY 5 People Pleasing A Harmless Act of Love or a Mental Health Risk? Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
Aren't you tired of trying to prove your worth, your love, yourSELF to all the people? In today's episode of Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding, as Shirl and Natty wrap up their conversation on unmasking Cookie Lyon, they offer some practical and easily implementable strategies to support you in stepping out of the space of feeling like you have something to prove.
One of the masks that Black women unconsciously adorn themselves with is the "people proving" mask where we're trying to convince others of our truth, validate our worth, or demonstrate our capabilities, when the reality is we have NOTHING to prove to anyone.
Tap into this episode and get these strategies in your life, and when you're finished we would love to see your face in the Shades of Strong Facebook Community where you can connect with other Black women and have open and honest discussions about things that concern us individually and collectively. This is a safe space where we can lean on each other in times of trouble and unrest, and dance with each other in times of celebration.
Sis, if you find that you're fighting to prove your love and worth to others, please consider joining us in the Sista Circle of Healing, so that you can start your journey to healing. The next cohort starts November 9th.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
Day 10 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhidng |The Fight Trauma Response & Cookie Lyon Day 9 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Ride or Die That is Cookie Lyon Day 8 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Is Cookie Lyon an Angry Black Woman Day 7 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Kick People Pleasing to the Curb Day 6 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | Ten Whole Years of People Pleasing DAY 5 People Pleasing A Harmless Act of Love or a Mental Health Risk? Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
Have you been or are you now someone's ride or die? In today's episode of Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding, Shirl and Natty give you a peek inside at what being the ride or die has looked like in their lives from a romantic and parental point of view...
...because just in case you're wondering, you can be a ride or die to your parents as well. As a matter of fact, you can be a ride or die to anyone in your life, and you don't have to settle for toxicity in your life just because "that's still your dad" or "that's still your mom, or your sister, or your brother, or even your child". Yes, they're "still your parents", but they're also still the persons who did that thing to you.
Being a ride or die is about fighting to prove your love, your trust, your worth to someone who probably don't deserve it. The bottom line is, you shouldn't be fighting to prove your love or worth to anyone, including your parents.
Click play and get into this goodness that is today's episode and when you're finished we would love to see your face in the Shades of Strong Facebook Community where you can connect with other Black women and have open and honest discussions about things that concern us individually and collectively. This is a safe space where we can lean on each other in times of trouble and unrest, and dance with each other in times of celebration.
Sis, if you find that you're fighting to prove your love and worth to others, please consider joining us in the Sista Circle of Healing, so that you can start your journey to healing. The next cohort starts November 9th.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
Day 10 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhidng |The Fight Trauma Response & Cookie Lyon Day 9 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Ride or Die That is Cookie Lyon Day 8 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Is Cookie Lyon an Angry Black Woman Day 7 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Kick People Pleasing to the Curb Day 6 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | Ten Whole Years of People Pleasing DAY 5 People Pleasing A Harmless Act of Love or a Mental Health Risk? Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
In today's episode of Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding Natty and I are shedding light on how being a "people prover" robs us of our vulnerability, our self-confidence, and our worthiness. We also talk about how often Black women are "misunderstood" and as a result are labeled as "angry" and how fighting to prove we're not angry is a losing battle.
There's a lot of "liquid gold" in this episode, so go ahead and click play and when you're finished we would love to see your face in the Shades of Strong Facebook Community where you can connect with other Black women and have open and honest discussions about things that concern us individually and collectively. This is a safe space where we can lean on each other in times of trouble and unrest, and dance with each other in times of celebration.
If you find yourself in this episode or previous episodes, please consider joining us in the Sista Circle of Healing. The next cohort starts November 9th.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
Day 10 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhidng |The Fight Trauma Response & Cookie Lyon Day 9 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Ride or Die That is Cookie Lyon Day 8 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Is Cookie Lyon an Angry Black Woman Day 7 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Kick People Pleasing to the Curb Day 6 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | Ten Whole Years of People Pleasing DAY 5 People Pleasing A Harmless Act of Love or a Mental Health Risk? Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
Cookie Lyon didn't just wake up one morning thinking, "I got sh*t to prove". Her lived experiences pushed her into that space.
Although you've probably never given it much thought, the same holds true for you. Your need to prove yourself is rooted in your lived experiences dating back to childhood.
In today's episode of Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding "featuring" Cookie Lyon, we're taking a look at a few of the things that pushed her into the "people proving" space. Our hope is that you will recognize your people proving behavior and start taking steps to heal the wounded places in you.
We also took a look at the magic that happens when Black women heal in community. If you find yourself in this episode or previous episodes, please consider joining us in the Sista Circle of Healing. The next cohort starts November 9th.
Tune in now, and when you're finished we would love to see your face in the Shades of Strong Facebook Community where you can connect with other Black women and have open and honest discussions about things that concern us individually and collectively. This is a safe space where we can lean on each other in times of trouble and unrest, and dance with each other in times of celebration.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
Day 10 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhidng |The Fight Trauma Response & Cookie Lyon Day 9 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Ride or Die That is Cookie Lyon Day 8 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Is Cookie Lyon an Angry Black Woman Day 7 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Kick People Pleasing to the Curb Day 6 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | Ten Whole Years of People Pleasing DAY 5 People Pleasing A Harmless Act of Love or a Mental Health Risk? Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
Listen! Cookie Lyon DID NOT come out the gate swinging. The way we see it (considering all the hell she went through) she had two options -- FIGHT or FLIGHT, and if you know anything about Cookie Lyon, you KNOW she is NOT about that FLIGHT life.
In today's episode of Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding we're taking a look at the fight trauma response as it relates to Cookie Lyon, and the events that thrust her into fight mode.
Tune in now as we chat it up about how "normal" the fight trauma response is when life just keeps happening.
We also love to have you join us in in the Shades of Strong Facebook Community where you can connect with other Black women have open and honest discussions about things that concern us individually and collectively. This is safe space where we can lean on each other in times of trouble and unrest, and dance with each other in times of celebration.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
DAY 9 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Ride or Die That is Cookie Lyon Day 8 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Is Cookie Lyon an Angry Black Woman Day 7 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Kick People Pleasing to the Curb Day 6 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | Ten Whole Years of People Pleasing DAY 5 People Pleasing A Harmless Act of Love or a Mental Health Risk? Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
Alright guys!! Today we're continuing our conversation on Cookie Lyons -- the RIDE or DIE chick none of us wanted to be.
As much as we LOVE Cookie Lyon, we are SO NOT here for how (on so many occasions) she was willing to RIDE or DIE for Luscious. So, I think it's safe to say that for this Black Superwoman, her kryptonite is definitely her ride or die characteristics.
One of the characteristics of the Black Superwoman Syndrome is feeling obligated to help others even when that "help" is not being reciprocated.
Tune in now as we start uncaping, unmasking, and unhiding THE Cookie Lyon. During our conversation we cover:
How Black women unknowingly fall into the trap of being the ride or die Being trapped in an "emotional prison" within relationships What keeps us staying &/or going back to unhealthy relationships Emotional abuse and what it looks like How childhood trauma causes us to settle in relationships The importance of reciprocity in relationships
And of course, Natty and I we're pretty transparent with our "ride or die" experiences. So tune in today's episode and if resonates with you and you're ready to start your journey to healing , please join us in the Sista Circle of Healing HERE.
We also love to have you join us in in the Shades of Strong Facebook Community where you can connect with other Black women have open and honest discussions about things that concern us individually and collectively. This is safe space where we can lean on each other in times of trouble and unrest, and dance with each other in times of celebration.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
Day 8 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Is Cookie Lyon an Angry Black Woman Day 7 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Kick People Pleasing to the Curb Day 6 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | Ten Whole Years of People Pleasing DAY 5 People Pleasing A Harmless Act of Love or a Mental Health Risk? Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
This week we're peeling back the layers of another "Black Superwoman" in our 30 Days to Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding series.
To some, Cookie Lyon of the hit show Empire, may be the epitome of the angry Black woman because she's loud, rude, and obnoxious...
...but we LOVE her and we happen to think that she's the epitome of the GREATNESS -- the SHO NUFNESS that lies inside of all Black women.
So, in today's episode we take a peek at the personality of Cookie Lyon and why she's so easily labeled as an angry Black woman.
We also take a look at how her take no prisoners attitude is directly related to her lived experiences, because the truth is Cookie Lyon is not an angry Black woman, she's a Black woman who has experienced a tremendous amount of pain, and that's what we'll be talking about this week. So be sure to tune in and if you find yourself in any of these episodes and are ready to start your journey to healing , please join us in the Sista Circle of Healing HERE.
We also love to have you join us in in the Shades of Strong Facebook Community where you can connect with other Black women have open and honest discussions about things that concern us individually and collectively. This is safe space where we can lean on each other in times of trouble and unrest, and dance with each other in times of celebration.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
Day 7 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, |Kick People Pleasing to the Curb Day 6 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | Ten Whole Years of People Pleasing DAY 5 People Pleasing A Harmless Act of Love or a Mental Health Risk? Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
In today's episode we're wrapping up our conversation on Olivia Pope. Over the past week we've take a deep dive into her people pleasing characteristics and behaviors to get a bird's eye view of why she does life the way she does.
It is hope that you were able to recognize some of your own people pleasing characteristics, how they were "birthed" into you, and what steps you can start taking to unlearn those behaviors.
Tune in as Shirl and Natty share starter strategies on how you can finally kick people pleasing to the curb and take your life back. If you found yourself in any of these episodes are ready to start your journey to healing the little Black girl inside of you, please join us in the Sista Circle of Healing HERE.
We also love to have you join us in in the Shades of Strong Facebook Community where you can connect with other Black women have open and honest discussions about things that concern us individually and collectively. This is safe space where we can lean on each other in times of trouble and unrest, and dance with each other in times of celebration.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
DAY 6 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | Ten Whole Years of People Pleasing DAY 5 People Pleasing A Harmless Act of Love or a Mental Health Risk? Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
We are continuing our conversation on the dangers of living a life of people pleasing and how Black women easily fall prey to it because of the unreasonable expectations we place on ourselves and how we succumb to the outrageous expectations of others.
There are countless negative consequences attached to people pleasing. In today's episode we take a look at what ten years of people pleasing looks like in day to day living and how it nearly destroyed a life.
Check it out and when you're finished let's continue conversation in the Shades of Strong Facebook Community HERE.
If this episode resonates with you and you want to go deeper and are ready to start your journey to healing the little Black girl inside of you, please join us in the Sista Circle of Healing HERE.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
DAY 5 People Pleasing A Harmless Act of Love or a Mental Health Risk? Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
People pleasing may seem like a harmless act of love", but the truth is it can lead to serious health risks, including stress, anxiety, and depression.
It is virtually impossible to be all the things to all the people AND prioritize your own self care. People pleasing leaves little time for rest, relaxing, or exercising which can lead to anger, burn out, and overwhelming feelings of sadness.
In today's episode we take a look into the risks of people pleasing and how they show up in our day to day living.
Check it out and when you're finished let's continue conversation in the Shades of Strong Facebook Community HERE.
If this episode resonates with you and you want to go deeper and are ready to start your journey to healing the little Black girl inside of you, please join us in the Sista Circle of Healing HERE.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
Day 4 Uncaping Unmasking Unhiding | Why We Become People Pleasers Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
As we continue "uncaping" and "unmasking" Olivia Pope & the people pleaser in her, we discover that people pleasers often start out as PARENT PLEASER
If children spend the majority of their childhood/teen years conforming to the needs, desires, and expectations of their parents, and are constantly seeking approval and acceptance, they'll eventually start believing that the only way they'll receive love and nurturing is when they're [unconsciously] taking on the role of people pleaser.
In today's episode we dissect the behaviors of people pleasers and the childhood experiences that thrust them into the the life a people pleaser.
Check it out and when you're finished let's continue conversation in the Shades of Strong Facebook Community HERE.
If this episode resonates with you and you want to go deeper and are ready to start your journey to healing the little Black girl inside of you, please join us in the Sista Circle of Healing HERE.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
Day 3 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding |The Side Effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
We're baaaccck!!!! In Day 3 of 30 Days of Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding we're taking a look at the side effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome..
We're continuing our examination of Scandal's Olivia Pope and how the characteristcs of the Black SUPERWOMAN show up in our individual lives.
Today's episode looks at how and why Olivia didn't have the emotional support she needed in her life, why a vast majority of Black women are lacking the same, how our chlldhood experiences contribute to that. and the questions we need to ask oursevles to begin to come out of the shadows of a people pleasing superwoman.
Check it out and when you're finished let's conitinue the conversation in the Shades of Strong Facebook Community HERE.
If this episode resonates with you and you want to go deeper and are ready to start your journey to healing the little Black girl inside of you, please join us in the Sista Circle of Healing HERE.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
Day 2 Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding | When Love Becomes Kryptonite Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to start healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome.
We're back with day 2 of 30 Days of Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman.
This series takes on the task of peeling back the layers of four popular television characters [Olivia Pope, Annalise Keating, Cookie Lyon, and Mary Jane Paul], who in their individual roles embody the stereotypical Strong Black Superwoman.
In today's episode we continue examining why Oliva Pope does life the way she does life. We take a look at how she was loved as a child and how that love contributed to her expectations of love as an adult.
What's inside:
What happens when self love and clear boundaries are missing from our lives Inner childhood wounds that contribute to the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome What happens when unhealthy love is the only love we know How the lack of boundaries lead to unhealthy relationships How unhealthy love in normalized
Tune in now as we peel back another layer of Superwoman Olivia Pope. When you're finish let's continue the conversation in the Shades of Strong Queendom. Head over to the Shades of Strong Facebook Community HERE and share your reflections and aha moments with us.
If this episode resonates with you and you want to go deeper and are ready to start your journey to healing the little Black girl inside of you, please join us in the Sista Circle of Healing HERE.
Other Episodes in This 30 - Day Series
Day 1 -- Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to set healthy boundaries in life, love, and relationships.
Welcome to day one of 30 Days of Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman.
Over the next 30 days we're going to peel back the layers of four popular television characters [Olivia Pope, Annalise Keating, Cookie Lyon, and Mary Jane Paul], who in their individual roles embody the stereotypical Strong Black Superwoman.
First up is OLIVIA POPE. In this episode we start peeling back the layers to determine what cape and mask she wears.
What's inside:
An overview of why we're doing this work What Olivia Pope's Superwoman cape and mask look like How her mask and cape show up in her relationships How her mask and cape show up in the lives of most Black women Steps Black women can take to start the journey to healing from the Strong Black Superwoman Syndrome
Tune in now as we peel back the first layer of Superwoman Olivia Pope. When you're finish head over to the Shades of Strong Facebook Community HERE and share your reflections and aha moments with us.
If this episode resonates with you and you want to go deeper and are ready to start your journey to healing, join us in the Sista Circle of Healing HERE.
Other Episodes in Season 4
Superwoman Must Die | Slaying the Strong Black Woman Syndrome Don't Call Me Superwoman | Say it With Your Chest Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding the Black Female Body When Little Black Girls Are Socialized to Be Strong Uncaped | A Black Girl Daring to Heal The Power of Sista to Sista Friendships Is Your Mother Wound Keeping You Separated from the Joys of Sistahood? Can the Sistahood Circle Be Unbroken? Identifying the Layers of the Black Superwoman Cape Things We’ve Lost to the Superwoman Cape
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to set healthy boundaries in life, love, and relationships.
The Black SUPERWOMAN aka the trope of the Strong Black Woman isn't going to magically disappear by closing our eyes, clicking our heels and saying POOF BE GONE.
That stoic, unbendable Black woman that we're all too familiar with is not only ingrained into the soul of SOCIETY, it’s also deeply rooted in the souls of Black women across the globe, which means slaying Superwoman is going to take an aggressive approach -- it’s going to take us taking a dive in to the pain beneath her independence, her stoicism, her lack of emotions -- her STRENGTH.
Society does a GREAT job – an excellent job of labeling Black women ALL THE THINGS without not even a glimpse into the pain that lies beneath.
The reality is Black women are out here hurting, emotionally broken, and struggling to recover from traumas and tragedies --- abuse, sexual assault, deaths, the dissolution of relationships and friendships – pain that has left them feeling afraid, hopeless, worthless, and unloved.
When that pain is not healed, it manifest itself in the form of SUPERWOMAN, but superwoman must die, so let the uncaping begin.
Other Episodes in Season 4
Don't Call Me Superwoman | Say it With Your Chest Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding the Black Female Body When Little Black Girls Are Socialized to Be Strong Uncaped | A Black Girl Daring to Heal The Power of Sista to Sista Friendships Is Your Mother Wound Keeping You Separated from the Joys of Sistahood? Can the Sistahood Circle Be Unbroken? Identifying the Layers of the Black Superwoman Cape Things We’ve Lost to the Superwoman Cape
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to set healthy boundaries in life, love, and relationships.
"You're out here being superwoman -- doing all the things, then when they expect it from you, you get an attitude."
Malaika Simmons did not come to play games with y'all in this episode. She said if you don't want to be called superwoman, say it with your WHOLE chest...
DON'T CALL ME SUPERWOMAN!!
This conversation was everything I hoped it would be. Malaika took me on a journey of how she made the transition from the superwoman lifestyle, the challenges that came along with it and how she deliberately resides in a space that doesn't require her to be anything other than what and who she is.
The unique thing about her journey is that in order for her to unsuperwoman herself, she had to channel the WONDER WOMAN in her. Yep! She traded in her cape for bracelets and a lasso.
Now, I know you're probably asking, so... y'all seriously want me to give up one super human just to take up another one?
Yeah...kinda, sorta, but not really! You to gotta tune in to get the scoop, sis because pouring it out here does NOT do this conversation justice.
So grab a friend, pour up your favorite beverage and press play.
WHAT’S INSIDE:
How Superwoman is robbing you of YOU Even when you're doing too much is still not enough Transitioning from the Superwoman lifestyle Why Wonder woman is a better super human that Superwoman Where your "Don't Call Me Superwoman" power lies The process of unlearning Superwoman behavior
This episode is for all the Black women who want to boldly and unapologetically tell the world, DON'T CALL ME SUPERWOMAN. Tune in now as Malaika shows us how to tap into that power so that you can finally uncape, unmask, and unhide.
ABOUT MALAIKA SIMMONS: Life is a series of moments. What will you do with yours? Malaika Simmons, performance mindset coach, TEDx speaker, and author can help you figure that out. Malaika is a 2x Toastmasters club president, human-centered design strategist, innovation consultant, and co-author of two books, including the Amazon bestselling "The Success Blueprint" with Brian Tracy, and “Entrepreneurial Elevation”. Malaika is the creator of The Momentology Method™, an intentional framework for living, she uses to help servant leading women executives and high performers design an impactful career, business and life. As a result of working with Malaika, her clients trust themselves, claim their voices and leverage their passions for profit and joy WITHOUT sacrificing their authenticity and integrity. She helps them lean into their joy and genius to live a Momentous Life! Connect with Malaika on Instagram and Facebook, and be sure to check out her website to get a closer look at her work.
Other Episodes in Season 4
Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding the Black Female Body When Little Black Girls Are Socialized to Be Strong Uncaped | A Black Girl Daring to Heal The Power of Sista to Sista Friendships Is Your Mother Wound Keeping You Separated from the Joys of Sistahood? Can the Sistahood Circle Be Unbroken? Identifying the Layers of the Black Superwoman Cape Things We’ve Lost to the Superwoman Cape
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to set healthy boundaries in life, love, and relationships.
When you think about uncaping, unmasking, and unhiding the Black female body, what’s the first thing that comes to mind for you?
Nicole D. Vick joined me in the virtual studio today to answer that question. She and I had a “real talk” conversation about how politicized the Black female body [from our hair to our feet] is and how the Black female body is scrutinized so much that Black women often feel like they don’t own their bodies.
Nicole points out how Black female bodies have been examined and scrutinized and how Black women have missed out on opportunities and have been sent home from work/school being told [implicitly or explicitly ] that their hair styles, body sizes and body shapes are unacceptable.
WHAT’S INSIDE:
How politicized the Black female body can be The shame that often comes with being Black, female and “bodied” Neutralizing the messages that contribute to NOT loving the bodies we’ve been GIFTED Embracing the Black female body at every stage What uncaping the Black female body looks like The process of unlearning the messages the media feeds Black women Colorism and its effects on how Black women exist in a society
This episode is for every Black woman who’s ever questioned if she was good enough because she doesn’t look a certain way. Tune in now as Nicole helps us to learn to love every inch of our Black bodies by learning to love the person the body houses.
ABOUT NICOLE D. VICK: Nicole is public health advocate, educator, civic leader, and fashion and beauty aficionado. For the last fifteen years she’s worked with stakeholders, community organizations, and residents to improve health and prevent disease in some of Los Angeles County’s most underserved communities. Nicole is also a professor and loves to infuse her lived experiences and work experience into her lectures. She’s a proud resident of South Central Los Angeles. From the Board Room to her backyard, her love of community manifests in many ways. She’s opened her home to the community by hosting pop-up shops to support local businesses owned by Black women and create awareness of the benefits of shopping local. She also helps women embrace their bodies and find their sense of style without breaking the bank. Connect with Nicole on Instagram and Facebook, and be sure to check out her website to get a closer look at her work as an author, stylist and activist.
Other Episodes in Season 4
When Little Black Girls Are Socialized to Be Strong Uncaped | A Black Girl Daring to Heal The Power of Sista to Sista Friendships Is Your Mother Wound Keeping You Separated from the Joys of Sistahood? Can the Sistahood Circle Be Unbroken? Identifying the Layers of the Black Superwoman Cape Things We’ve Lost to the Superwoman Cape
Superwoman Quiz
Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover?
Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to set healthy boundaries in life, love, and relationships.
Strong Black women didn't just miraculously appear on the scene. They were little Black girls who grow up to be strong Black women.
In this episode of the Shades of Strong podcast we take a deep dive into how Black women are socialized to strong even before they leave their mothers' womb, thereby making them susceptible to the Black superwoman syndrome.
If you've ever questioned why or how you came to be "strong", or why you behave the way you behave in certain circumstances, this episode will answer a few of those questions for you.
WHAT'S INSIDE:
Wounded little Black girls growing up to be wounded strong Black women Gender based chores and how they condition Black women to be & do all the things What happens when little Black girls don't get to be children Words from the mouths of adults that encourage suppressed & repressed emotions Parenting techniques and behaviors that send Black women running into the arm of toxic partners Cultivating our children's intuition and learning to sit with them in their pain
Tune in now for insight on how words (spoken and unspoken), behaviors and unhealed traum
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
The Safe Place App: Providing mental health resources (self-care tips, articles, videos, self assessments, etc.) for the African American community. Download the app today on your Apple or Android device.
Comic Book: Generational Awakening: The Strange Anxiety In Dauphine Royal
Voices in This Episode:
Shirley Hubbard Jasmin Pierre Lakeisha Carter Natalyn Bradshaw Trezelle Morgain
Other Episodes in Season 4
Uncaped | A Black Girl Daring to Heal The Power of Sista to Sista Friendships Is Your Mother Wound Keeping You Separated from the Joys of Sistahood? Can the Sistahood Circle Be Unbroken? Identifying the Layers of the Black Superwoman Cape Things We’ve Lost to the Superwoman Cape
Superwoman Quiz Are you a perfectionist, master performer, people pleaser, or people prover? Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to set healthy boundaries in life, love, and relationships.
In today's episode Lakeisha Carter takes us on a journey of how she took steps to free herself from the Superwoman Syndrome, is now striving to live an uncaped life, and how therapy is playing an integral part in her healing.
She admits that living an uncaped life is challenging because she was introduced to the Superwoman mentality in childhood and kinda felt like Superwoman was her destiny, but after losing her father she knew it was time to do life differently. She reluctanlty sought support by way of therapy and is now takiing her life back.
If you've ever felt alone, voiceless or hopeless, you'll want to tune in to hear Lakeisha talk about how she made it over and how uncaping has changed her life for good.
WHAT'S INSIDE:
How rocking the Superwoman cape left her feeling voiceless How "Black woman" labels became an hindrance for entering therapy The steps she took get her voice back and learn to speak up for herself The importance of being your authentic self.
Tune in now AND don't forget to share with your friends.
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Open Path Collective Affordable Counseling Shades of Strong Sista Circle of Healing Therapy for Black Girls Podcast Black Girls Heal Podcast Lakeisha Carter on Facebook
Other Episodes in Season 4 The Power of Sista to Sista Friendships Is Your Mother Wound Keeping You Separated from the Joys of Sistahood? Can the Sistahood Circle Be Unbroken? Identifying the Layers of the Black Superwoman Cape Things We’ve Lost to the Superwoman Cape
LISTEN TO EPISODES in the Not Your Superwoman Mini-Series Healing the Little Black Girl Behind the Strong Black Woman Rest. Because Sometimes Your Strength Gets Tired The Fine Line Between Independent and Too Independent Never Let What They Think of You Silence You You Get to Be Strong and Vulnerable Strong Black Women Feel Things Too You Are the Most Important Person in Your Life
Tools and Resources Available Through Shades of Strong Superwoman Quiz Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to set healthy boundaries in life, love, and relationships.
Not Your Superwoman Healing Circle The Black Woman’s Seven-Day Journey to Healing the Little Black Girl Within CIRCLE STARTS JULY 5, 2021
Sis!!! You DO NOT have to be your own best friend.
In this episode Natty and Shirl are joined by Lana Hunter and Melissa J. Nixon who have developed a friendship that few have the privilege of enjoying.
Lana and Melissa both believe that despite how friendships ebb and flow, lasting friendships are very much possible and they are living proof of it.
Today we chat it up about how they met, how long they've been friends, what keeps the friendship GROWING, and how we can ALL experience long lasting, sista to sista friendships by being intentional, considerate and consistent in our efforts.
If you've been hurt, betrayed or lost a friend, you'll want to tune in to hear how these ladies view friendships, how during times of trauma they LEAN IN INSTEAD OF OUT and the TOP THREE things that keep them in each others lives.
WHAT'S INSIDE:
The work that goes into building lasting friendships What healthy friendships look like The importance of being open to new friendships even after being hurt Setting healthy boundaries in lasting friendships Recovering from broken friendships Being intentional in friendships
This episode is the third and final conversation in the sistahood series.
Tune in now AND be sure to check out the rapid fire questions at the end.
And don't forget to share with your friends.
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Sundress and Big Hat Brunch Melissa J. Nixon -- Courageous Life Academy Sundress and Big Hat Instagram Melissa J Nixon Instagram
Other Episodes in Season 4 Is Your Mother Wound Keeping You Separated from the Joys of Sistahood? Can the Sistahood Circle Be Unbroken? Identifying the Layers of the Black Superwoman Cape Things We’ve Lost to the Superwoman Cape
LISTEN TO EPISODES in the Not Your Superwoman Mini-Series Healing the Little Black Girl Behind the Strong Black Woman Rest. Because Sometimes Your Strength Gets Tired The Fine Line Between Independent and Too Independent Never Let What They Think of You Silence You You Get to Be Strong and Vulnerable Strong Black Women Feel Things Too You Are the Most Important Person in Your Life
Tools and Resources Available Through Shades of Strong Superwoman Quiz Take this 4 minute quiz & get a breakdown of your superwoman archetype & how you can use this knowledge to set healthy boundaries in life, love, and relationships.
Not Your Superwoman Healing Circle The Black Woman’s Seven-Day Journey to Healing the Little Black Girl Within CIRCLE STARTS JULY 5, 2021
The results are in and her results reveal that she's Olivia Pope.
Tune in as Anyonita G. shares her thoughts on her results from the superwoman archetype quiz.
The quiz uses four popular television characters (Olivia Pope, Cookie Lyon, Annalise Keating and Cookie Lyon) to not only help you identify which archetype is most dominant in you, but also to help you to identify when and how the personality traits were birthed in you.
And it doesn't just top there, the quiz also offers tips and strategies on how you can experience a life without the emotional pain of the superwoman cape holding you back based specifically on your superwoman archetype.
Anyonita took the quiz twice approximately three weeks apart and got the same results each time. She shares her thoughts on the accuracy of the results and the benefits of taking the quiz.
Take a listen, then hop over to www.shadesofstrong.com/superwomanquiz to get your results.
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[Link(s) Mentioned: www.shadesofstrong.com/superwomanquiz]
The mother wound -- the festering wound that we MUST heal in order to fully experience the joy of being in relationship with our sistas.
Sistahood is the container where we GET to surrender to deeper levels of support, deeper levels of love and accountability, but it is virtually impossible to experience such deep connections when your mother wound is lingering in the unhealed crevices of your soul.
If you find yourself mistrusting other women, playing small, or unable to feel at peace and grounded in yourself, you may be experiencing symptoms of a sister wound intertwined with a mother wound.
In this episode Shirl and Natty are chatting it up about how the unhealed wounds from our mothers contribute to the broken sistahood and how we can begin the process of healing both.
WHAT'S INSIDE:
How the mother wound and sistahood wound are intertwined What the cape is costing us when the hurt from our mothers is unhealed Effectively grieving the loss of the mother you wish you had How the mother wound contributes to how we do relationship with others How healing the wounds from your mother starts the healing of the sistahood wound
This episode is the second in the sistahood series.
Tune in now.
And don't forget to share with your friends.
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Superwoman Archetype Quiz Not Your Superwoman Healing Circle Shades of Strong Instagram Black Mother Wound Instagram
Other Episodes in Season 4 Can the Sistahood Circle Be Unbroken? Identifying the Layers of the Black Superwoman Cape Things We’ve Lost to the Superwoman Cape
LISTEN TO EPISODES in the Not Your Superwoman Mini-Series Healing the Little Black Girl Behind the Strong Black Woman Rest. Because Sometimes Your Strength Gets Tired The Fine Line Between Independent and Too Independent Never Let What They Think of You Silence You You Get to Be Strong and Vulnerable Strong Black Women Feel Things Too You Are the Most Important Person in Your Life
Welcome to another feature in our Black from the Past™ segment. Today's feature is Willie (Big Mama) Thornton, blues singer and song writer from Montgomery, AL.
Quick Facts:
Willie Mae (Big Mama) Thornton's career lasted from the 1940s until the 1980s Earned the name "Big Mama" at the Apollo Theatre in New York Best known for her recording of Hound Dog released in 1953 Hound Dog topped the R & B charts selling 2 million copies, but Big Mama was only paid $500 Elvis Presley recorded another version of Hound Dog 3 years later bringing him immeasurable fame and success Died in 1984 at the age of 57 Inducted into the Alabama Music Hall of Fame in 2020
Is this your first time hearing about Willie (Big Mama) Thornton? Who should we highlight next in our Black from the Past™ series?
Black from the Past™ is a segment of the Shades of Strong podcast where we're preserving and normalizing Black history by shining a light of Black women who have made significant contributions to the Black female culture but are often forgotten.
[Source: https://www.britannica.com/biography/Big-Mama-Thornton]
[Link(s) Mentioned: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxoGvBQtjpM&feature=youtu.be]
Do you have a family member or know of someone you would like to see us shine a light on? Send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com with the subject line Black from the Past suggestion and we’ll do our best to make it happen.
PREVIOUS BLACK FROM THE PAST™ FEATURES Mary Eliza Mahoney Phyllis Hyman Margaret Garner
Sistahood, the bond that keeps Black women together...
…until it doesn't, right?
Contrary to what mainstream media would have you believe, Black women are the original GIRLFRIENDS -- the original sistahood.
Seriously, NOBODY has your back like Black women do. But the reality is, whether intentional or unintentional, Black women DO hurt Black women.
…and it's time to have a conversation about it.
In this episode Shirl and Natty are chatting it up about how Black women have each other's backs and how sometimes things happen and they don't anymore.
WHAT'S INSIDE:
The TOP FIVE challenges that contribute to broken friendships and sistahoods Hindrances to healing from broken sistahood wounds. The "superwoman shield" that protects us from being hurt again. Steps we can take to start healing from and rebuilding the sistahood wound. The unique bonds that keep Black sistahood together.
Like every episode, Shirl and Natty POURED out a lot.
Take what YOU need, and leave the rest.
And don't forget to share with your friends.
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Superwoman Archetype Quiz Not Your Superwoman Healing Circle Shades of Strong Instagram Shades of Strong Facebook. Sisterhood |They Smile in Your Face
Other Episodes in Season 4 Identifying the Layers of the Black Superwoman Cape Things We’ve Lost to the Superwoman Cape
LISTEN TO EPISODES in the Not Your Superwoman Mini-Series Healing the Little Black Girl Behind the Strong Black Woman Rest. Because Sometimes Your Strength Gets Tired The Fine Line Between Independent and Too Independent Never Let What They Think of You Silence You You Get to Be Strong and Vulnerable Strong Black Women Feel Things Too You Are the Most Important Person in Your Life
Welcome to our first Black from the Past™ highlight of the season where we're shining a light on Mary Eliza Mahoney, the first Black woman to study and work as a professionally trained nurse in the United States.
Quick Facts:
Born in Boston, MA to freed slaves Worked as a nurse in the early 19th & 20th centuries Started working at the New England hospital for women & children as a teenager. She spent 15 years working there as a cook, a laundress, janitor and nurses aid. Attended the nursing at New England hospital and was on the 4 students (out of 42) who finished in 1879 One of the first women to who registered to vote after the passage of the 19th. Mary Eliza Mahoney died at the age of 80 in 1926.
Were you aware of Mary Eliza Mahoney's journey? Who's the next Black influential woman that should be featured in our Black from the Past™ series?
Black from the Past™ is a segment of the Shades of Strong podcast where where we're preserving and normalizing Black history by shining a light of Black women who have made significant contributions to the Black female culture, but are often forgotten.
[Source: Spring, Kelly. “Mary Mahoney." National Women's History Museum. National Women's History Museum, 2017]
Do you have a family member or know of someone you would like to see us shine a light on? Send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com with the subject line Black from the Past suggestion and we’ll do our best to make it happen.
PREVIOUS BLACK FROM THE PAST™ FEATURES Phyllis Hyman Margaret Garner
Black women have been rocking the Black superwoman cape since we were little Black girls.
Don't believe it? Check out Shirl's "Red Rover" story in this first episode of Season 4.
Tune in as Shirl and Natty give you a behind the scenes look at what caping, masking and hiding looks like for them, how it all started, the NUMBER ONE thing the cape is costing them and how they're learning to ditch the cape piece by piece, layer by layer.
This episode also takes a look at:
How the superwoman cape often forces us to "edit" ourselves and shrink back for the benefit of others. Why/how we started caping and how we're drowning in the "debt" of it all. The different coping mechanisms we use when caping, masking and hiding. How superwoman is NOT a lifestyle but one big ball of emotional and mental drudgery. How the superwoman lifestyle is somewhat comparable to the Stepford wife lifestyle. Healing the little Black girl behind the Black superwoman by redefining our super powers.
As you can see, there's A LOT of pouring it out happening in this episode and there's so much more to come, so kick your shoes off. Get comfortable. Stay a while.
Links mentioned in this episode:
Not Your Superwoman Healing Circle Shades of Strong Instagram Shades of Strong Facebook.
LISTEN TO EPISODES in the Not Your Superwoman Mini-Series Healing the Little Black Girl Behind the Strong Black Woman Rest. Because Sometimes Your Strength Gets Tired The Fine Line Between Independent and Too Independent Never Let What They Think of You Silence You You Get to Be Strong and Vulnerable Strong Black Women Feel Things Too You Are the Most Important Person in Your Life
Sis, aren't you tired of rocking that Superwoman cape? Aren't you tired of letting "them" tell you how to do life, how to do strong?
If you answered yes, season four is just what you need to start the journey to uncaping.
The theme for this season is "Things We've Lost to the [Superwoman] Cape" and we're talking about ALL THE THINGS the cape is costing us and how we ditch the cape piece by piece layer by layer.
The cape is costing ALOT:
Sisterhood and community Relationship and intimacy Our emotional standards Our right to be respected and protected Our right to NOT be exploited Our right to NOT be abused---verbally, physically & emotionally
…and that's just the tip of the iceberg.
We're going in this season and it all starts NOW.
LISTEN TO EPISODES in the Not Your Superwoman Mini-Series Healing the Little Black Girl Behind the Strong Black Woman Rest. Because Sometimes Your Strength Gets Tired The Fine Line Between Independent and Too Independent Never Let What They Think of You Silence You You Get to Be Strong and Vulnerable Strong Black Women Feel Things Too You Are the Most Important Person in Your Life
It's time to heal the little Black girl behind the strong Black woman.
The life you long for, the deep connections you desire are buried inside the little Black girl behind the Strong Black woman.
The little Black girl who was conditioned to never cry, ask for help or need anyone, the little Black girl who was taught to mimic happiness even when her heart was breaking, the little Black girl who was led to believe that it’s better to be seen and not heard.
Aren’t you ready to reacquaint yourself with her?
You don't have to morph into somebody else's version of the Strong Black Woman. You don't have to be the fixer like Olivia Pope, slay giants like Cookie Lyon, be the Queen in the conference room like Mary Jane OR save EVERYBODY like Annalise Keating.
Join Shirl in this episode as she talks about:
Her personal journey of uncaping, unmasking and unhiding by way of a very vulnerable journal entry Uncaping, Unmasking, Unhiding, Unlearning and Relearning How the Superwoman lifestyle/mindset was birthed in childhood How network television has gone from one extreme (the mammy, the Jezebel, the sapphire) to the next (the self-sacrificing Strong Black Woman), thereby perpetuating the idea that the Strong Black Woman has to sacrifice herself to be ALL THE THINGS to ALL THE PEOPLE. How to listeners can start to heal the little Black girl behind the Strong Black Woman Autonomy of your emotional standards as a Strong Black Woman
Leave us a direct message on Instagram to get on the waitlist for the Not Your Superwoman Starter Kit.
LISTEN TO THESE OTHER EPISODES in the Not Your Superwoman Mini-Series Rest. Because Sometimes Your Strength Gets Tired The Fine Line Between Independent and Too Independent Never Let What They Think of You Silence You You Get to Be Strong and Vulnerable Strong Black Women Feel Things Too You Are the Most Important Person in Your Life
Rest is NOT just another four letter word. Your body is your temple, your temple is your strength, and sometimes your strength gets tired.
When that happens, it's time to explore the temple to determine which part of this sacred space needs rest.
The goal here is to have a calm, stable energy throughout the day everyday and the only way we can get there is to take care of the temple.
Tune in as Shirl takes listeners on a behind the scenes tour of the "temple" to see what REST really looks like, how to tap into their support system and how to rest the SPIRIT which is the HEART of the temple.
...because as mentioned earlier, REST is not just another four letter word. It's the gateway to your PEACE. Get you some, sista Queen.
Even in the middle of a pandemic--- in the middle of fighting against racism and anti-blackness, Black women are STILL expected to hustle and grind and do all the things. We’re expected to be ON all the time.
In this episode Shirl covers:
Five types of rest and why Black women NEED them ALL. How Black women fall into the role of fixing everybody's stuff. How to determine which parts of the temple/body need attention. The importance of having a strong support system in place.
Links mentioned in this episode:
Shades of Strong Sista Circle Pastor Mike Jr's BIG
Follow us on Instagram so you don't miss the big reveal of the Shades of Strong rebrand.
LISTEN TO THESE OTHER EPISODES ON HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR TEMPLE Dear Black People, It's Okay to Pause from the Cause Mental Health Treatment is for Black Women Too When the Emotional Walls Coming Tumbling Down
There’s a difference between doing something because you have to or because you don’t have support and doing something because you don’t trust anyone else to do it, because you don’t want to relinquish control, or because you don’t want to owe anyone anything.
That’s the FINE line ladies. Often we allow our lived experiences to unconsciously push us to the that “Too independent space.
So, here’s the deal…
It’s okay to let him lead. It’s okay to give up some control.
You are beautiful, amazing, fantastic -- a sun kissed Goddess intentionally molded by our Creator.
Letting him lead takes nothing away from that.
In fact, it adds to it. Choosing to be vulnerable enough, strong enough to let him to take you on a journey, is not only an indication that you trust him; it's also an indication that you trust yourself and it makes him absolutely certain that you are the only woman for him and he's the only man for you.
Being a Black woman often means that our words and our emotions are weaponized and used against us.
We’re compared to pit bulls when we speak up using a tone that demands respect, while our white counterparts are seen as passionate and brave for doing the exact same thing.
Because of that, you’ll find yourself sitting in silence and hiding what you’re really feeling because you’re “strong” and that’s what the superwoman cape requires, right?
Or maybe you were raised in an environment where “rising above it or being the bigger person” was always the lesson of the day or perhaps in your home even the slightest bit of anger or uncouthness was met with punishment.
Or maybe you got detention in school for having an attitude or being a smart aleck----I got that A LOT.
So, I get it. I get all of that. But being strong doesn’t mean biting your tongue, suppressing your emotions, OR succumbing to the myth of the angry black woman.
YOU GET TO BE STRONG AND SPEAK UP WHEN YOUR BOUNDARIES ARE NOT BEING HONORED.
One of the primary reasons Black women often avoid vulnerability is because we’re a part of a culture that stigmatizes being vulnerable.
In this episode Shirl talks about what vulnerability is, what it is NOT and offers some simple things we can do to begin to give voice to our needs, feelings and emotions and still withhold pieces of yourself that you're not ready to share with the world.
How many times has something happened in your life and you find yourself staring in the mirror mouthing the words...
I shouldn’t be feeling this way. Why am crying about this? Suck it up, girl. You’re stronger than this! Get your sh** together NOW.
When you do this, you invalidate your feelings. You have a right to feel whatever you’re feeling in any given moment. Why are you depriving yourself of that?
There’s no right or wrong way to feel when life happens. You. you feel how you feel. Our emotions and feelings exist to teach us, to grow us and when we suppress them, invalidate them or judge them, we miss out on those opportunities.
You can be strong and be hurt. You can be strong and feel pain. You can be strong and cry. You can be strong and grieve. You can strong and crave companionship and affection. You can be strong and be HUMAN.
You GET to do both, sis!! One ABSOULUTELY DOES NOT negate the other! So when faced with the choice of being strong and being human, do both because being strong is being human and HUMANS feel, they cry, they heal.
As Black women we are born nurturers, but because of life’s circumstances we have a skewed perception of what that means; but even more that life’s circumstances, our perception of what it means to be nurturers can be greatly contributed to learned behavior dating back to childhood.
And that learned behavior dates back to the days of slavery. The slave owners and their wives taught us that everybody’s health and wellness was more important than the health and wellness of the Black woman. Our ancestors passed those lessons down to us and now we’re passing them down to our children by continuing to do life the way our parents and grand parents did.
Somebody’s gotta do life differently because if we don’t we’re going to continue to pass this down to generations to come.
Do you really want to your children, your daughters running themselves ragged to do ALL THE THINGS for the ALL THE PEOPLE? Of course not. So, let's have a conversation about how you can start embracing the fact that YOU are the MOST important person in your life.
Many are talking about how problematic it is how it may be time to retire the Strong Black Woman label.
Tarij P. Henson in particular has been very vocal about her discomfort with the label Strong Black Woman.
In an interview with Essence she talked in detail about how “many of us [Black women] proudly take on the “strong Black woman” identity not realizing that we’re sending the message that we can bear the weight of the world on our shoulders without breaking a sweat.
She goes on to talk about how the term was originally used to empower us but is now being used as a weapon to dehumanize us, ignore our pain and belittle our tears.
After hearing all of that, is it time to retire the Strong Black Woman title?
The running theme for 2020 has been EXHAUSTED for a lot of us, but most of us are still finding ways to maintain our sanity in the midst of it all.
In this episode Natty and I give listeners a sneak peek into some of the revelations we've encountered during this time of uncertainty and some new healthy and life changing practices that we've taken on for the sake of our mental and emotional wellness.
This is our final episode of the season, but we'll still be around. So be sure to follow us on your favorite social media platform. We’re @shadesofstrong EVERYWHERE.
It's been a few weeks since we've released an episode because you know.......LIFE!
Let me just tell ya, homeschooling/virtual learning with elementary age children is NO EASY FEAT!
Chile!!! I'm struggling over here.
In this short bonus episode I share the struggle with y'all and invite you help Natty and I level up by answering a few questions to help us better support you.
It only takes about two minutes to complete our short questionnaire about what you want Shades of Strong to look like for you. What do you want and need from us to be of better service. Here's the LINK to make it happen>>>> bit.ly/helpshirlandnatty.
In this week's minisode of Black from the Past™ we're shining a light on the breathtakingly beautiful and amazingly talented Phyllis Hyman.
Phyliss Hyman was a Philadelphia native best known for her contributions to the music world during the late 1970s through the early 1990s.
She had this sultry, velvety and smokey gorgeous voice that absolutely could not be mistaken.
In her own words, she liked songs that talked about the the emotional side of people, which is evident in her album, Living All Alone.
There was this sparkling presence about her that was simply unforgettable. But she also had this dark struggle with depression that wasn't common knowledge into later on in her career.
Click HERE for a few Phyllis Hyman facts and HERE for some Phyllis Hyman Favs.
A few things to ponder while listening:
The many ways Phyllis Hyman's music helps us to tap into our vulnerabilities How often what we're feeling and experiencing doesn't mirror how others see us The importance of being aware of our mental and emotional well-being and seeking support when we need it
And be sure to check out her interview with Ebony/Jet where she talks about her insecurities and what it was really like working in the music industry and grab her biography, Strength of a Woman: The Phyliss Hyman Story written by Jason A. Michael available in paperback and Kindle versions.
Phyllis Hyman has not only made a significant contribution to the music industry, but also to the Black female experience as a whole and today we celebrate her legacy, her vulnerability, her humanness.
Do you have a family member or know of someone you would like to see us shine a light on? Send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com with the subject line Black from the Past suggestion or hop over to our website at shadesofstrong.com and leave us a voice message and we’ll do our best to make it happen.
PREVIOUS BLACK FROM THE PAST™ FEATURES
Margaret Garner
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Colorism
"You're pretty for a dark skinned girl." "I don't usually date dark skinned girls."
Has anyone ever had the audacity to utter those words to you? I certainly hope not. But let's be real, if those words had never been uttered, we wouldn't be having the colorism conversation, right? Dating back to the days of slavery, the chains of colorism were woven into our psyche and are deep within the fabric of our brains, but does mean that we have to succumb to the ridiculous belief one shade of skin is better than another?ABSOLUTELY NOT! Colorism, originally used by slave owners to cause separation and divisiveness within the enslaved community, is still being used today both interracially and intraracially to pit darker-skinned people against lighter skinned people and we're here to help you break the chains. Yup! We're pouring out ALL the colorism tea. So, come on in and get you some of this healing. Here a few things we talked about:
The origination of colorism What it looks like inside and outside the Black community Observing colorism for males vs females The paper bag test and its possible use within Black sororities The mental and emotional effects of colorism How Black women can begin to heal from the residual effects of colorism How you can start the colorism conversation with the young girls in your life
As you can see, we talked about ALL THE THINGS! We would love to hear your thoughts on the topic as well. So, head over to shadesofstrong.com and leave us a voice message with your thoughts or shoot us a quick email at hi@shadesofstrong.com. OR get in touch with us on your favorite social media platform. We're Shades of Strong EVERYWHERE! AND if you need help starting the colorism conversation with the girls in your life, Genesis Begins Again is just what you need. Available in paperback, Kindle and audio Genesis Begins Again tells the story of a thirteen-year-old who's fighting to over come internalized racism and a verbally abusive family so that she can learn to love herself. There are ninety-six things Genesis hates about herself and the color of her skin just happens to be one of them.
Links Mentioned:
Instagram Website Facebook Natty's Instagram "Healing Processes Creative Practices" Workshop
Other Episodes You Might Like:
Mental Health Treatment is for Black Women Too When the Emotional Wall Come Tumbling Down Moving on When Life Gets You Down
SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review. Not sure how to do that? Click HERE for a quick how to. Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast:
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Welcome to the very first minisode in our Black from the Past™ series.
Black from the Past™ is our contribution to preserving and normalizing Black history.
Here's where we shine a light on Black women who are often forgotten, but have most certainly made an impact on the Black female culture.
Today's spotlight is shinning bright on Margaret Garner, who in one heart wrenching moment slit the throat of her 2-year-old daughter rather than return her to slavery.
Tune in to hear an account of Margaret Garner's desperate act of love.
Here are few things to ponder while listening:
How far back the dehumanization of Black people date The depths that a parent will go to ensure her child is out of harm’s way The Psychological and emotional effects that Slavery had on Black people Slavery being a worse fate than death
Not only have artists and poets honored Margaret Garner with their paintbrushes and proses, her story was the inspiration behind Toni Morrison’s novel Beloved, (also available as an audio book) paper back the movie Beloved starring Oprah Winfrey, Kimberly Elise, and Thandie Newton, and it later inspired the 2005 opera, Margaret Garner composed by Richard Danielpour.
Although indirectly, Margaret Garner has made significant contributions to the Black female experience. So today we shine a light on her, we celebrate her and we honor her.
Below are a few links where you can read more about her story.
https://www.blackpast.org/african-american-history/margaret-garner-incident-1856/ https://www.npr.org/2010/11/17/131395936/a-mother-s-desperate-act-margaret-garner https://www.waymarking.com/waymarks/WM2F7K_Stampede_of_Slaves_The_Margaret_Garner_Family_Tragedy_Near_Covington_KY https://mrroukisela.files.wordpress.com/2019/01/commonlit_margaret-garner-defying-the-fugitive-slave-act_student.pdf
Do you have a family member or know of someone you would like to see us shine a light on? Send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com with the subject line Black from the Past suggestion or hop over to our website at shadesofstrong.com and leave us a voice message and we'll do our best to make it happen.
The sexualization of Black women and girls has its roots in slavery and racism and heavily contributes to rape culture internally and externally.
And to add insult to injury, mainstream media has been oversexualizing the Black female body for years, for CENTURIES.
Well, y’all know Natty and I are ALWAYS down for a good session of disrupting the madness because...
We are of the belief that Black women should be able to wear whatever they want with all the curves they have without being objectified.
We are also of the belief taht Black women should be able to post picture on social media honoring their bodies, their curves, and their beautiful black skin without that photo being shared as a distasteful sexually objectifying meme.
Come on, people! Be better than the slave owners!
Join us in this week's episode as we chat it up about ALL THE THINGS relating to the sexualization of Black women and girls.
Grab your cup, come on in and let us pour you this good ol tea; and when you're finished sipping it all up, head over to shadesofstrong.com and leave us voice message with your thoughts about the topic or shoot us a quick email at hi@shadesofstrong.com
Here a few things we chatted about:
The objectification and sexualization of Black women and girls having its roots in slavery and racism Black women being the least protected in America The sexualization of Black women contributing to rape culture Unlearning and retraining the Black culture and American culture The mental and emotional effects of sexualization Mainstream media contributing to the sexualization of Black women The sexualization of Black men and what that could look like
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Hey y'all! What is up! What is happening!
We are back and we are ready to get back to dropping the dopeness and realness that is Shades of Strong episodes.
We appreciate your patience AND loyalty as we took some time to rest, regroup, and strategize for the remainder of the season.
In this episode Natty and I tell you what we've been up during the hiatus and recap what we have planned for the Shades of Strong movement moving forward.
Here a few things we chatted about:
Natty's new journaling class, Healing Processes, Creative Practices New Black from the Past mini episodes featuring and honoring the history of the Black women who came before us. If you have someone you would like to see featured, please send us an email, hi@shadesofstrong.com with the subject line Black from the Past.
Why Millennial and Gen Z'ers are rejecting being called strong
What the remainder of season three will look like
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Black people are still our here fighting for the right to JUST BE -- you know ALIVE. And I'm here for ALL OF IT!
I'm happy to see so many Black People on the front lines fighting against racism even while we're in the middle of a global pandemic.
A number of changes have already taken place because Black People are refusing to be silent. We are demanding to be seen and heard.
But, here's the deal. Although I recognize that PAUSING FOR THE CAUSE is essential for change to happen, I also recognize that it is essential to pause FROM the cause.
In this episode, I'm offering a few suggestions for taking a momentary break from fighting to just be...
...because if Black People are going to continue the fight for justice and equality we absolutely must take care of ourselves.
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People-pleasing is a habit that we’ve all fallen prey to at some point in our lives. It is the act of pleasing other people instead of doing the things that we know will make us happy or the things that will bring us peace.
People pleasing wears many faces, but the one we’re undoubtedly most familiar with is saying yes when we REALLY want to say no, even when we know we’re already stretched beyond capacity.
But did you know that people pleasing comes out of a perfectionist mindset, AND that the perfectionist mindset that gives birth to people pleasing is born out of white supremacy?
I know, right? CRAZY!!
Listen, I was taking aback too when Natty said it, but then code-switching and shape-shifting immediately came to mind.
I see you clutching your pearls again, sis! I did the same thing.
Anyway…
I can’t give you all this tea now. You gotta tune in to hear us POUR IT ALL OUT!
Here a few PEOPLE PLEASING points we touched in this episode:
How this behavior is connected to perfectionism, self-sabotage and white supremacy The many faces of this behavior and how each face is rooted in the lack of self-awareness How to break the cycle while still being there for and supporting those you love
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Knowing exactly when slavery started may be something we will never know, but research has shown that enslaved Africans arrived in North America as early as the fifteen hundreds However, history books have taught us that 1619 was the year slavery started in America. This was the year when approximately twenty Africans arrived on a ship to Jamestown and thus began the horrific reality of four hundred years of slavery. On July 2nd 1776, the Declaration of Independence was signed declaring the thirteen American colonies free from British rule.
For years and years black people have blindly celebrated July 4th as if it were our independence day. But unfortunately we didn’t all become kinda free until 1865.
The Emancipation Proclamation was signed by President Abraham Lincoln on January 1st, 1863, which established that all enslaved people in confederate states were free. But still everyone was not free. In Texas, slavery continued as usual.
It wasn’t until June 19th 1865, when federal troops went to Galveston, TX to ensure that all of those enslaved be made free. That meant freedom for 250,000 slaves. Of course, the former slaves celebrated, which gave birth to what we now call Juneteenth. In 1979, TX became the 1st state to make Juneteenth an official holiday and today 47 states recognize Juneteenth as a state holiday. In 2020, as we continue to break chains and fight for our freedom and equality and right to breathe, we take this day to celebrate not just our freedom, but those who came before us as well as those who are on the front lines now.
Although we are still breaking chains, Black people across the nation now PROUDLY celebrate Juneteenth. Happy Juneteenth, sistahs and brothas!
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It’s been nearly three months since the brutal murder of Breonna Taylor & all we have is a total disregard for Black life & an incident report filled with lies.
Is it not enough that Breonna Taylor was shot EIGHT times while sleeping in what was supposed to be the safety of her OWN HOME?
Is it not enough that the city of Louisville has been and STILL is extremely elusive and downright dishonest about the circumstances surrounding the death of Breonna Taylor?
Is it not enough that the life of a 26 year old Black women was TAKEN due to NO FAULT of her own?
Is it not enough that the family of Breonna Taylor is left grieving her untimely death?
IS ANY OF THAT NOT ENOUGH?!?!?!
Now, the LMPD has the CAUCASITY to release an incident report that is--------------let’s just call it what it is, a BLANK piece of paper!
So, even after all of this……….
Black women are still expected to sit in silence. We’re not supposed to push back and when we do, we’re deemed, domineering, aggressive, too confrontational, ANGRY!!!
You know what I say to that??
It’s time for ANGRY BLACK WOMEN to RISE THE FUCK UP!
...Because we have a got damn right to be angry.
The family of Breonna Taylor has a right to be angry!
Now, let's be clear! We don’t mean the trope – the myth of the Angry Black Woman---------
We're referring to the Angela Bassett, “This is me being resolute and standing firmly in my truth” Angry Black Woman!
Black women in America have long been dragged, have been dogged out by negative stereotypes – stereotypes that are rooted and grounded in racism and slavery.
And today we're saying NO MORE!! Today, we're saying, enough is enough because we're in this space to help heal a BLACK FEMALE NATION!
And HEALING DOES NOT HAPPEN IN SILENCE.
Malcolm X was unequivocally correct when he said,
The most disrespected person in America is the black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the black woman. The most neglected person in America is the black woman.
WE DESERVE BETTER! BREONNA TAYLOR DESERVES BETTER!
In this episode, Shirl and Natty share their feelings about the incident report of Breonna Taylor released by the Louisville Metro Police Department and how we can each use our voices to positively affect change in the Black community while standing up against anti-blackness and systemic racism.
We would LOVE to hear your thoughts on today’s conversation, so if this episode had you screaming, Yes, sis! Yes, please take a screenshot and tag us on Instagram or on your favorite social media platform.
Enjoyed this episode? SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW
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Thanks to social media and the news that seems to be broadcasting 24/7, we’re constantly inundated with horrific headlines painting vivid pictures of one tragedy after another, making it is super easy for us to fall into a space of hopelessness.
I get it! Natty and I were there too. But, thanks to our good friend, Ife Madzimoyo who came through with some words of encouragement, we are reminded that hope is ever present and change is happening right before eyes. In other words, THE REVOLUTION IS BEING TELEVISED
... and we love to see it!
Listen, it's no secret that George Floyd was murdered at the hands of a police officer for the whole world to see and we are all grieving the dehumanization of yet another Black man. But, we are so very grateful for the change that is unfolding right before our eyes. And we're shining a light on ALL OF IT today's episode.
Ife is an emotional wellness coach making her mark on the world by helping Black Women heal from the shit they're often ashamed to talk about. You can find her on Facebook and Instagram doing her thing and once again, WE LOVE TO SEE IT!!!
And if you need soothing messages of hope and love in your life, be sure to check out Natty's AMAZING poems and artwork HERE and the soulful sounds of Sweet Honey in the Rock HERE!
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With so much happening in the world, it’s super easy to feel helpless, and maybe even hopeless, especially if you’re not out protesting.
As podcasters, we have platforms where we can speak out against racism and police brutality.
In this PSA, Natty and I encourage you to be educated, engaged, and to take action.
Support the work of activists on the front lines of change, who risk themselves daily to create a better world for us all.
Get involved by donating to any of the following:
George Floyd Memorial Fund Minnesota Freedom Fund Black Visions Collective Campaign Zero Black Lives Matter
Sign a petition:
Text “Floyd” to 55156 to sign a petition to demand justice for George Floyd. Text "ENOUGH" to 55156 to sign a petition demanding justice for Breonna Taylor.
Sign-up at Color of Change to be notified of more opportunities to take action.
Reclaim the Block lobbies for cutting police spending, and re-routing some police funds to affordable housing, health, violence prevention, civil right and renter protections.
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After years of emotional abuse, someone has finally convinced that you need to forgive your offender, let go and move on with your life. And you've committed to doing that because forgiveness is for you – not your offender, right?
But something is still missing. You’re still not able to get back to that happy place that you once knew because you’re blaming yourself for letting this thing go on for so long.
Forgiveness requires a level of specificity that's often missing on the journey to forgiveness.
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If you enjoyed the previous episode on how we as parents unknowingly pass trauma down to our children, you'll also enjoy part 2 of the conversation as Shirl and Natty offer tips and strategies on how you keep from passing down trauma and leaving a legacy of pain.
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As Black Women we have a tendency to bury our pain not realizing that it manifests itself in every area of our lives -- in romantic relationships, through our relationships with our parents, our children, our siblings, on our jobs, and yes even how we parent our children.
Generational curses (generational trauma) are nothing more than unresolved issues and wounds that we pass on to our children and family members.
In other words, hurt mothers hurt their children through the transference of toxic emotions. And the vicious cycle continues, hurt children hurt others too.
When we don't deal with our pain, our children learn not to deal with theirs, then they pass that down to their children and that's how generational trauma is born.
In this episode, the ladies get candid about how they have unknowingly passed down generational trauma to their children and how they're each working diligently to deal with their own sh*t so that they can break the curse of generational trauma.
Shirl and Natty both recognize they are work in progress, bu the important thing is they are each willing to do the work. They are both willing to heal the pain of their trauma so that don't continue to pass that trauma down to their children. SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW
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To be Strong, Black and Woman Struggling with Mental Health Issues...
We can't pray it away, we can't sleep it away, we can't choose it away. We need support too. Tarij P Henson, Michelle Williams, Alicia Keys, Jennifer Lewis, Lisa Nicole Carson, Fantasia, Audra McDonad, Halley Berry, Serena Williams, Macy Gray...
What do these African American women have in common? They've all been very open with there struggle with mental health issues. You know what else they have in common? We all celebrated and uplifted them when they announced their struggles with depression, bi-polar disorder, etc... So why is when "regular, everyday" women like Natalyn, Jasmin, Diathe and myself are open with our struggles, we're told to pray it away?
Exxxactly!
That was just one of the things we covered in this episode, and boy was it powerful!!
This episode features guest co-hosts Diathe Garne and Jasmin Pierre, both strong advocates and professionals for mental health in the African American community.
They joined us behind the mic as we worked to bring clarity to:
The difference in being a black woman who is strong and a STRONG BLACK WOMAN The pros and cons of each – mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally The societal and religious pressure of being a strong black woman Suggestions on how we can shift the strong black woman narrative while protecting and prioritize our mental health
Everybody in the room was more than happy share their personal experiences on how being a Strong Black Woman has often put her in a place of brokenness, how the church has directly or indirectly contributed to that brokenness and what it took for each of us to get our healing in world that often frowns on therapy and dismisses mental health issues in the African American community.
Needless to say, it got really heavy and raw.
Seriously, no stone was left un-turned in this episode.
Do yourself a favor and don't sleep on this conversation. Tune in NOW and then hop over to and Shades of Strong and leave us message telling us what you thought about the episode.
OR
Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening!!
AND
Be sure to check out The Safe Place App available in the app store for IPhone and Android. The Safe Place is a minority mental health app created by Jasmin Pierre to raise mental health awareness in the black community and serves as a great resource for African American individuals considering therapy, but don't know where to start.
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TRIGGER WARNING. This episode details one woman's story of religious trauma and emotional abuse and may be triggering for some. Please proceed with caution.
Religious trauma is a condition experienced by those who are struggling with leaving an authoritarian religion and coping with the mental and emotional damage of indoctrination.
Janine Maryland is included in that number. She stopped by the virtual studio to share her story with the SOS and fam, and it is by far one of the most most real and raw journeys I've heard to date.
She bore her soul with the hopes that her story would encourage and inspire others who may be or have been on a similar journey.
Janine gets super real about how she's been excommunicated from the religion she grew up in, as well has how she's being involuntarily forced to distance herself (physically, verbally and socially) from her family, including her mom.
She also shares details of suicide ideations, her struggle with mental illness, how she's now rebuilding her life piece by piece and learning to live in between the tears.
Tune in now.
Janine Danielle Maryland is a Nashville, Tennessee native, with a creative soul. Her love for poetry was implanted in her DNA. Janine’s grandmother and mother both wrote poetry their entire lives. This love was further reinforced when her mother took it upon herself to write a poem for each stage of her life. However, surprisingly, Janine didn’t embrace this hidden talent until her young adulthood. Each tragic event in her life moved her to express her emotions through poetry. It gave her a sense of closure from various situations.
Although in Janine’s mid-twenties, she took a detour to pursue the field of Graphic Design, poetry constantly tugged at her heart. She incorporated personal poems in every graduation and wedding invitation she designed, yet she still was not filling her inner desire to help others.
Granny’s Conversations,® LLC, Greeting Cards for the Soul, was born after Janine spent ten years in the field of Graphic Design. She decided it was time to embark on a journey that combined her first passion—poetry—with her love for design; this time to save lives. In a world where we are constantly weighed down with depressing news stories, family issues, health issues and economic woes, just to name a few, we have an urgent need for encouragement, which is the mission of Granny’s Conversations,® LLC.
Although technology has allowed mankind to achieve the impossible, along the way it has caused us to loose sight of the simplicity and comfort received through the written word. A personal note from a loved one has a way of slowing us down to remember what our hearts truly need, to make it just one more day! You can find Janine in the following online spaces: Facebook: : https://www.facebook.com/grannysconversations/
Instagram: @grannyconvo
Twitter: @grannysconvo
If you need support as you start to peel back the layers of your own emotional trauma, head over to Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message and we’ll reach out to set up a time to chat.
Be sure to head over to FACEBOOK, TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet on this week’s episode. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening, sis!
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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?
That's what the world would have you believe, but the reality is
...what doesn't kill you makes you build a wall.
Tearing down those walls is what makes you stronger.
You gotta tune into this week's episode as we show you how to tear them down brick by brick. But, we don't just stop there, we're giving you a secret hack on how NOT to build the wall.
If you need support as you start to peel back the layers, head over to Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message and we’ll reach out to set up a time to chat.
Be sure to head over to FACEBOOK, TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet on this week’s episode. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening, sis!
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I really wish I had ended it sooner.
I wish we could have made it wok.
How could I have been so stupid?
Why didn't I see the signs?
Did I even try?
Any of this sound familiar?
Breakups suck BIG TIME, right?
Whether you're the breakup -er or the breakup -ee, it stings a little...
...nah -- Scratch that! It stings A LOT.
And you just want the pain to go away, right?
But, here's the good news, sis, there is life after the breakup.
It may not feel like it while you're still in the thick of it, but you'll get past the guilt. You'll get past the shame.
You'll smile again, you'll love again, you'll be loved again.
Things end all the time -- your favorite show, your favorite sports season, your favorite holiday and yes, relationships end too. And you don't need to feel guilty or ashamed because of that.
Check out this week's episode as Natty and I get down to the nitty gritty about healing from a broken relationship. Happy listening SOS Fam! We love you and there's nothing we want more than for you to be healed, whole, happy!!
If you need support as you start to peel back the layers, head over to Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message and we’ll reach out to set up a time to chat.
Be sure to head over to FACEBOOK, TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet on this week’s episode. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening, sis!
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Dear single black mom, you DO NOT have to cook and clean and wash everything ...
... be everything
... do everything!
Mama, gotta have a life too, right?
Before we dive into the cooking and cleaning of it all, how bout we talk about the guilt that often comes with being a single black mom who has little to no help from the child's dad.
Single black moms often find themselves paralyzed with guilt because they don't have the support of the dad, but today we're disrupting the madness.
If you're going to put energy into feeling guilty, check out this week's episode and get some tips on how you can use that guilt in a more constructive manner. Shirl and Natty spill the beans on their struggles around guilt and being a single black mom show you how to ditch the guilt that often comes with being a single black mom.
They’re giving you a bird’s eye view of what overcompensating looks like, why it’s a complete waste of time and how we’re often projecting what WE want on our children.
And then they brought it on home with how we need stop beating ourselves up for choosing someone who stopped choosing us. Sis, you do not want to miss this one. It is SO GOOD!
Press play and get this goodness in your life.
If you need support as you start to peel back the layers, head over to Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message and we’ll reach out to set up a time to chat.
We also have a visualization meditation that we would love to gift to you as you work your way through healing from the things you’re often ashamed to talk about . You can grab it HERE.
Be sure to head over to FACEBOOK, TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet on this week’s episode. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening, sis!
SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW
If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review. Not sure how to do that? Click HERE for a quick how to.
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We're taking a break from our regular topic (well kinda sorta) and interrupting this forced pause with a bonus episode to share some words of encouragement on navigating disappointments when life happens unexpectedly. Join us as we talk about how to keep moving when life lets you down.
Not all fatherless black girls come from broken homes and not all fatherless black girls have daddy issues so let's stop with the stereotypes.
When we hear those words, we automatically go to the place of single parent homes, but being fatherless comes in many forms.
You can be deemed “fatherless” even when your father is in the home Lacking a father’s protection and support Not knowing the identity of one’s father Not having a father living
Shirl and Natty have two very different experiences, but they both grew up without their fathers—Natty's dad passed when she was eleven— and Shirl's dad left when she was around the same age and although their experiences weren’t the same, they both experienced emotional trauma as a result of being fatherless black girls. Tune in to this week's episode to find out they navigated the pain from those experiences and how they're dismantling the labels and stereotypes regarding the preconceived notions about what a fatherless black girl looks like.
Press play! We're waiting for you.
If you need support as you start to peel back the layers, head over to Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message and we'll reach out to set up a time to chat.
We also have a visualization meditation that we would love to gift to you as you work your way through healing from the things you're often ashamed to talk about . You can grab it HERE.
Be sure to head over to FACEBOOK, TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet on this week’s episode. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening, sis!
SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW
If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review. Not sure how to do that? Click HEREfor a quick how to.
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Family secrets. How many of us have them?
I'd be willing to bet that everyone listening to this episode has at least one.
We all have a chapter in our lives we're ashamed to read aloud -- secrets that are buried deep inside, which brings us to our topic today.
BLACK FAMILY SECRETS!
That's certainly not to imply that other cultures don’t have secrets, but I think we can all agree that black family secrets often have roots so deep that their effects are often repeated in every generation.
And THAT has proven to be extremely dangerous.
With that said, Shirl, Natty and guest co-host Randi B are peeling back the layers on the dangers of black family secrets...
Is it REALLY a cultural thing?
Why are we so adamant about “what's said in this house stays in this house”?
What's the real secret behind black family secrets?
What role has the black church played in black families keeping secrets?
How do black family secrets differ from that of other cultures?
How can we rewrite the narrative?
If you are a survivor of a family secret that caused you harm you physically or emotionally, you're in the right place at the right time because these ladies are sharing their stories about how they found healing after the secret and how you can too.
So....
You know what to do next...
Press play! Your journey to healing awaits you.
And if you need support as you start to peel back the layers, head over to Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message and we'll reach out to set up a time to chat.
We also have a visualization meditation that we would love to gift to you as you work your way through healing from the things you're often ashamed to talk about . You can grab it HERE.
Be sure to head over to FACEBOOK, TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet on this week’s episode. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening, sis!
SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW
If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review. Not sure how to do that? Click HEREfor a quick how to.
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Stop letting people tell you that you gotta fake it til you make it.
...because YOU DON'T have to do that, sis. There is nothing cute or praise worthy about faking anything.
Listen, I get it. Life will suck the happy right out of you. As a matter of fact, it will suck YOU out of your life.
Anger, sorrow, grief, guilt, shame, feelings of abandonment and rejection -- all of that will eat away at your capacity to live a good life if you don't process those feelings and emotions.
And just in case you're wondering, processing does not involve sweeping things under the rug and pretending like they don't exist. I KNOW that it takes an immense amount of strength and courage to live life without the mask, but it's time to look YOU in the face and say, "girl, it’s time to heal all the sh*t you’re not talking about".
I'm not side-eyeing or judging you. I'm simply saying, stop faking it and do the work, because being strong is not about hiding behind a facade. It's being bold enough to shine a light on your truth and stand it.
Being strong is about having the courage to live life without the mask!
And that's what we're talking about in this week's episode. We're digging deep into all the things Black Women hide behind that BIG HAPPY SMILE.
Natty and I go all in on how our smiles were often used to mask what we were feeling and how the same is true for so many of us.
If you're reading this you're probably guilty of using your smile as a defense mechanism, using it to hide the real you.
As Black women our smiles are often used to hide how dead we're feeling inside...
You know the whole, “ I smile keep from crying thing”?
Yeah, that!
Our smiles mask all of our STUFF – the childhood trauma, the self-loathing, the lack of worthiness, the pain and shame of broken relationships, the feelings of not being enough...
And I'd be willing to bet that all that hiding and masking started in childhood, right?
Press play on this episode to find out how you can finally live your life without the mask.
And if you need support as you begin to unmask and unpack, we have a visualization meditation that we would love to gift to you. You can grab it HERE.
If you need to talk through some things, we're here for that too. So, head over to Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message and we'll reach out to set up a time to chat.
AND be sure to head on FACEBOOK, TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet on this week’s episode. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening, sis!
SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW
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Hey y'all! Season 3 is about to be LIT because we're talking ALL THINGS healing. If you're ready to set yourself free from the guilt, shame and blame of unfortunate circumstances (past or present), you don't want to miss any of season three's episodes!
How do you teach your Black Son how to thrive in a country where modern day Jim Crow laws and the school-to-prison pipeline are very serious realities?
Randi B and I both know from personal experience that rearing a black son is a daunting task in and of itself. Couple that with raising him in a world that ridicules, dishonors and discounts him simply because of the color of his skin, and you have an even greater challenge on your hands.
In today's episode take a deep dive into how black moms don't have the luxury of being being soft when it comes to raising our boys because we're too busy trying to save them from the world that literally wants to kill him for just breathing.
I shared with her how In my efforts to teach my son how to be a man, I was constantly focusing on all the things he shouldn’t be doing AND what I didn’t want to happen to him. I didn’t want him to become like the boys he often kept company with. I didn’t want the streets to get him! I didn’t want to lose him to drugs. I was always telling him what he shouldn’t do… what he couldn’t do. I rarely (if ever) told him what he could do. I was so afraid that he would fail, til the possibility of success never even crossed my mind!
If you have a black son or know someone who does, you do not want to miss this episode. It's a good one, peeps!
We’d love to hear your thoughts on this on episode. So, head over to Shades of Strong and leave a voice message letting us know what’s on your mind.
OR
Head on over to FACEBOOK, TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet on this week’s episode. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps.
SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW
If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review. Not sure how to do that? Click HEREfor a quick how to.
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When's the last time you asked yourself the question, "what makes me happy"? I'd be willing to bet that the answer to that question is NEVER.
Okay, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt -- maybe you have asked yourself, but have you really sat in it?
What does happiness look like for you? Do you even know?
As Black women we are so consumed with making sure that everyone around us happy, til we forget that we deserve some Black Girl Happy in our lives too!
Well, Randi Bryant is here to SHUT DOWN THE NARRATIVE that the happiness of others takes priority over your happiness
Randi shares her journey of how she finally tapped into the Black Girl Happy that IS Black Girl Magic...
...and how Black Women often find it challenging to create happiness because nobody has ever taught the Black Woman or given the Black Woman permission to be happy.
In her words,
We are giving a checklist and we live our lives going after accomplishments, but never consider our happiness. College - check. Marriage - check. Member of the bougie club - check. House - check.
Everybody is always saying, "girl go be successful". Why is no one saying, "girl go be happy?"
Randi makes it clear that the Black Woman CANNOT continue to wait for the world to give her permission to be happy. She MUST give herself permission to get on the Black Girl Happy train and stay there!
After listening to this episode with Randi B, I hope you'll take some time to really sit in the question,
WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY?
When you've soaked up all of this goodness, hop on over to Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message telling us what you thought about the episode.
OR
Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!
ABOUT RANDI B Randi B is a diversity and inclusion strategist, author, speaker, and trainer. She helps people and businesses navigate tough racial, gender, and cultural issues by equipping them with the right tools and resources to foster real, open dialogue.
She knows the power of communication can lead to inclusive environments where people feel comfortable being their complete, open, and authentic selves. Focusing on her mission to get people to open up and join the conversation (while also changing the world).
In her book, Neversays™, Randi provides an easy-to-follow guide on 25 phrases you should never, ever say to keep your job and friends. The tenets of this book are based on the beliefs that people are good but uninformed and uncomfortable with difference. This book provides real, practical advice on how to navigate these difficult-to-talk-about topics.
Through her speeches, trainings, and one-on-one services Randi equips people with the right tools to engage in honest conversations about race, gender, sexuality, religion, cultural, and diversity issues.
Randi has a wealth of knowledge and experience navigating the tough dialogues that come with discussing diversity and inclusivity topics. She is the founder and president of an award-winning change management company that she led for 17 years. She is also the creator of the trademarked “Fingerprint to Blueprint” curriculum and a former director of training and instruction for two tech start-ups. Additionally, she has helped many government clients and Fortune 500 companies in seven countries and 41 states.
In addition to starting conversations that create change, Randi is an avid traveler. She lives in the San Francisco area with her husband and two sons.
Be sure to connect with her on FACEBOOK and INSTAGRAM.
OTHER LINKS AND WAYS TO CONNECT WITH RANDI B:
Title: Owner | Author, Speaker, Trainer, Diversity + Inclusion Strategist Website: https://randib.net Twitter Link: https://twitter.com/beatnik24 LinkedIn Link: https://www.linkedin.
Some of you probably know Gina Neely as the FULL OF LIFE celebrity chef on the Food Network’s Down Home with The Neely’s or Aspire TV's Chop it up with Gina, but let me just tell ya, she is so much more than that.
She’s an entrepreneur, a reality television star, New York Times Bestselling Author, she’s made guest appearances on Dr. Oz, Good Morning America and so many more.
Gina Neely does ALL THE THINGS. She is the epitome of all that is STRONG, BLACK and WOMAN and I had so much fun recording this episode with her. It truly felt like sipping wine with a friend I hadn't seen in a while.
We laughed about the days of old, reminisced about parenting our children when they were younger, chatted it up about securing the bag WHILE taking care of yourself.
She told me about how she fangirled out when she met Vanessa Williams.
She even gave me a sneak peek into TWO projects she has coming down the pipeline.
AND you know we threw a lil some, some in there about dating.
You name it.....it probably came up.
AND
I can't wait for you to get all this goodness in your life. So...........what are you waiting for??? TUNE IN NOW! to hear Gina Neely talk about all things JUST GINA! When you've soaked up all of this goodness, hop on over to Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message telling us what you thought about the episode.
OR
Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!
ABOUT GINA Gina is a motivational speaker, philanthropist, and mom, and her keys to success are her love for her family, food, and the enjoyment of life. She currently resides in Memphis, TN and has two daughters. Gina burst onto the scene in 2008 by starring in the hit show Down Home with the Neelys, which became the highest-rated series debut in the history of Food Network’s “In the Kitchen” block. The show immediately connected with viewers nation-wide by showcasing Gina’s love for family, food and the enjoyment of life.
Following the tremendous success of her television show, Gina released her first cookbook, Down Home with the Neelys, which quickly earned a place on The New York Times bestseller list. A hit show and a bestseller soon lead to Gina’s prime time television debut as the host of Food Network’s Road Tasted. Enjoying continuing success in television, 2011 proved to be a tremendous success for Gina with the release of a second book, The Neely’s Celebration Cookbook. Gina is currently authoring a book, entitled “These Are My Rules, This Is My Life and I Want It Back” to help women maneuver through life and begin again.
As a top rated television personality and best-selling author, Gina has performed live for thousands of fans all over the country, not only showcasing her skills and fun loving approach to cooking, but also sharing her perspectives on life, love, and the issues facing women in their personal and professional lives. Gina is a powerful and inspiring speaker who strives to meet the needs of those she encounters, empowering them to persevere and navigate through life.
Gina has appeared on and/or co-hosted international, national and local television and radio shows, including The Talk, The Steve Harvey Show, The Rachael Ray Show, The Wendy Williams Show, Anderson Cooper Live!, The Monique Show, Good Morning America, the TODAY show, The Real Daytime Show, The View, The Chew, The Queen Latifah Show, Bethenny, Home & Family, The Arsenio Hall Show, Katie and Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns.
In print, Gina has been featured in People Magazine, O Magazine, Ebony, Essence, The Wall Street Journal, Black Enterprise, USA Today, Sam’s Club, Food Network Magazine and Dr. Oz. which makes her no stranger to Daytime Television but quite the novice as she engages and motivates
Be sure to connect with her on FACEBOOK and INSTAGRAM ...
"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."
If ever there was a principality over this nation, it is definitely racism and white supremacy.
What the heck kind of demon is that? Four hundred years later and we are STILL fighting for the right to be heard. We are STILL fighting for our right to JUST BE...
...whoever we are, whatever we are in any given moment without judgment, scorn or ridicule.
In this final episode of season two, hosts, Shirley (Shirl) Hubbard and Natalyn (Natty) Bradshaw give the listeners a review of the weekly conversations that kept them coming back for more.
Although, there were a range of topics discussed during this season, they all had one thing in common and that is how black women are constantly fighting to be seen and heard.
As Natalyn said during this episode, the issue of being anti-black is not just an issue here in the United States, it's a global issue. Couple that with being female and strong, and the fight becomes even more real.
Tune in to the season finale now, and when you’re finished, we’d love to hear what you're taking away from this season. So, head over to Shades of Strong and leave a voice message letting us know what's on your mind.
OR
Head on over to FACEBOOK, TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet on this week's episode. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps.
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As Black Women, we don't have the luxury (aka PRIVILEGE) of not seeing color because we're constantly reminded of ours.
In this episode your hosts, Shirley (Shirl) Hubbard and Natalyn (Natty) Bradshaw answer the question,
"Why was Shades of Strong created specifically for black women?"
YUP!!! Someone actually hopped in the Shades of Strong inbox to ask, "why not all women".
So, Shirl and Natty waste no time giving the inquiring mind the answer to her burning question.
Shirl admits that she was a little skeptical about creating a space for black women ONLY because she didn't want to contribute to the divisiveness that is is our country. But then, she remembered that...
Everything created for ALL women, was NEVER created with Black Women in mind.
...and from that thought Shades of Strong was birthed.
Now, if you've listened to any of the show's previous episodes, you know the conversation went A LOT deeper than that.
Shirl and Natty dive head first into how most of us (Black Women) didn't grow up like our white counterparts. Our burdens, our privilege, our struggles, our experiences, our REALITIES are not the same.
And before you go saying, I don't see color or we all bleed the same, the hosts SHUT THAT DOWN too!
We bleed red like everyone else, but our blood is heavily seasoned with the pain and struggle of our ancestors and with that of ALL THE BLACK WOMEN who dare to have a voice and are ridiculed and persecuted for doing so.
.... and while saying, "I don't see color", seems like a noble stance, it is ultimately discounting our identities and our experiences as black women living in America.
These gold nuggets only scratch the surface of this episode. And you know you want more, otherwise you wouldn't have scrolled down this far. So scroll back to the top and click play or hop over to your favorite podcast platform and get the rest of this goodness in your life.
And when you’re finished, we’d love to hear your thoughts on the subject. So, head over to Shades of Strong and leave us voice message letting us know what's on your mind.
OR
Head on over to FACEBOOK, TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet on this week's episode. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps.
SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW
If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review. Not sure how to do that? Click HEREfor a quick how to.
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This episode is filled with poetry snaps and slow claps. Seriously, Angela Roulette peels back every emotional layer while sharing her story of releasing the pain of the past and taking her life back from circumstances that threatened to kill her.
Some of the episode's defining moments include:
How her self esteem suffered as a result of not being wanted by her father How she overcame the guilt and shame of her father's suicide Her PTSD and anxiety diagnosis having grown up in a community that "doesn't do mental illness". How she went from one dysfunctional relationship to the next in search of unconditional love How she sabotaged the one great relationship she had because she was broken How therapy and faith CAN co-exist Her life before and after therapy How she chooses peace over everything, even if that means letting some people go
This episode is jammed packed with realness and rawness Angela wastes absolutely no time spitting her truth about releasing the pain, heartache and trauma of past experiences. She gets naked about her estranged relationship with her mother and father, overcoming guilt and shame and how poetry saved her life.
ABOUT ANGELA Born and raised in Kansas City, MO, poet Mz Angela Roux has always been a fan of language. She describes her poetry as “edu-tainment”, combining witty perspectives on modern day womanhood with social commentary and personal testimony. She is the creator and producer of Estrogen Rush, an all-female poetry show, which debuted in November 2012. In November 2015, she released and debuted her first poetry book "The Sinbad Sessions: Poems by Mz Angela Roux" published by Spartan Press. Currently she is the host of Roux On The Radio, airing third Saturdays at noon on KUAW 98.5FM and the TuneIn App.
You can find Angela in the following online spaces: Facebook: : www.facebook.com/mzangelaroux
Instagram: @mz_angela_roux
Snapchat: mz_angelaroux
Angela's MOST Quotable Moment: “ I love my mom from a very realistic place. I had to 'bury' the mother I wanted; and learn to love the mother I have. The moment I let go of the idea of what I wanted my mother to be, was the moment I started to get more peace."
SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review. Not sure how to do that? Click HERE for a quick how to.
Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong™ Podcast:
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I CHOOSE ME EVEN WHEN HE DOESN'T
Pick me! Choose me! Love me! Remember that scene from Grey's Anatomy when Meredith was practically begging Derek to choose her over his wife?
Although there were some extenuating circumstances that led up to that scene, I have to say it was undoubtedly the one of most pitiful things I had ever witnessed in my entire life and I was disgusted by it.
Which is why I LOVE Sanaa Lathan for speaking her truth and standing in it. She made it abundantly clear that she's not sitting around waiting to be chosen my some knight in shiny armor.
"We read all these fairy tales, Snow White, Cinderella, and they’re being chosen by a man.That’s when you win when you are chosen by a man. That’s not the truth! I’ma choose me first.”
After reading those words on Madame Noire, I got lost in my thoughts about how excited women get when men FINALLY propose marriage and how we’re always hoping and praying that he pops the question…
Kinda like we’re waiting to be FULLY chosen, because clearly dating is NOT enough. So, I thought why not have a conversation about that to see if I can get some clarity around the magic of being chosen for marriage.
Why can't I choose me without constantly being asked...
Why are you still single? When y'all getting married? When you gon' put some buns in the that oven?
Black women are taking back their power to choose and I'm here for ALL OF IT!
In this week's episode we get down to the nitty gritty about how important it is to exercise your right to choose and what choosing you looks like.
So how 'bout you click play and get this all of this goodness in your life...
and when you're finished soaking it all up, hop on over to the website and leave us a voice message with your thoughts or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com.
You can also show us some love on FACEBOOK, TWITTER, and INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!
SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW
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Long gone are the days when being black women, single black women, single black women with children, strong black women was viewed as some hard to cure illness that we need to be rescued from…
Black women are well educated, well accomplished individuals making things happen. We don't need a Captain Save a Queen!!!
We’re saving our dam selves!
AND we look good doing it. As a matter of fact, nobody does it better
In this episode we talk about Mary J Blige and her taking back the credit she gave her husband for helping her end her drug addiction.
We use Mary's situation to dissect the black woman's need to be rescued.
During our conversation we came into some powerful revelations about the fairy tales and happily ever afters our parents and WE fed ourselves and how those fairy tales have contributed to the devaluing of black women and why black women often find themselves in unhealthy relationships.
And of course, we didn't leave the men out... because we can't help ourselves without helping them out, right?
So how 'bout you click play and get this all of this goodness in your life...
and when you're finished soaking it all up, hop on over to the website and leave us a voice message with your thoughts or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com.
You can also show us some love on FACEBOOK, TWITTER, and INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!
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Black Women residing in what we've come to know as the Strong Black Woman or Superwoman Syndrome often seek peace and refuge in retail therapy aka emotional spending.
She seeks this refuge online, in a mall, or even at a car dealership—she's just looking for something to comfort her mentally and/or emotionally and in more cases than not, that comfort comes with a hefty price tag.
Her spending is directly related to her feeling overwhelmed, undervalued, neglected, angry, disconnected – the greater the pain she’s experiencing in that moment, the higher the price tag for rewarding herself. Emotional spending in its simplest form is buying things with the hopes that it will make us feel better about whatever emotional pain we’re experiencing. But it can also break the bank, AND it doesn’t necessarily help you deal with whatever triggered the spending in the first place
Emotional spending breeds financial dysfunction and that dysfunction is passed down to our children and our children’s children’s children – err go generational curses. In this episode, Natty and I get candid about our experiences with emotional spending and impulse buying.
In addition to sharing our experiences, we offered suggestions on how to recognize your spending triggers, as well as alternative (no cost) coping techniques that you can easily implement when life gets to be too much.
So, check it out and leave us a voice message with your thoughts about this episode or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com.
You can also show us some love on FACEBOOK, TWITTER, and INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!
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You asked! We answered!
Our listeners want answers to some really tough questions and we're here for ALL OF THEM
How do you forgive people who are not sorry? How do you trust your child again after they break your trust? What are some steps to healing?
We took each of them one by one sharing our experiences and imparting some wisdom. Do yourself a favor and tune in for our responses.
Forgiveness is probably one of THE most challenging things you'll ever have to do when you've been betrayed by someone you love and care about.
Couple that with trying to forgive someone who truly doesn't give a eff about hurting you, and you've got an even greater challenge on your hands. But, the reality is you can either forgive or feel like crap. Those really are you ONLY options so come on in, pull up a chair and let's talk about it.
And while you're here, let's chat it up about how you and your child can get back on Trust Avenue after the trust has been broken.
I know about this all too well, so I know your first reaction is usually one of anger and betrayal; and the next reaction is usually doling out punishment, but before you go running full speed ahead into locking folks in rooms and snatching up cell phones, how bout listening to some of our suggestions on how to handle a betrayal of trust from the youngster.
Yeah, I know that's a lot of hard talk for one episode, but I can't let you leave without throwing in some tidbits on how to get yourself some healing because that's where your happiness lies, Queen. Yup! I said it. You will never experience true happiness until you find healing.
Alright!!! Are you ready for this episode? From forgiveness to broken trust to healing, we left no stone uncovered in this episode.
Well, what are you waiting for? Let's do this!
Oh, and I hope you haven't forgotten about how much we love hearing from you. So after you've loved on your ears, heart and soul with this message, love on us by heading over to Shades of Strong™ to leave us a voice message telling us what you thought about this episode or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com.
You can also show us some love on FACEBOOK, TWITTER, and INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!
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Does being a STRONG single mother for so long effect how you handle a new healthy relationship?
Mailbag Episode Part ONE:
Without even thinking about this question, it's a HARD YES.
As black women we have this thing where (in more cases that not) we want to be independent.
We want to do things on our own. We don't like relying on others to do things for us.
That is multiplied times three OR MORE when you are a black single mom because you're accustomed to doing things on your own.
When you're a black single mom you're often operating from that "I don't need a man" space; which is not necessarily a bad thing, but as cliché as it sound, people need people.
You can't do life alone, which means you most certainly can't be a strong black mom without the support of others.
Being independent is not a bad thing, but as cliche as it sounds, people need people...
Tune in now to see how Natty and I answered this question, along with two others that we pulled from our mail bag.
This is part one of or mail bag episode, where we're answering listener questions. We had time to answer three in this episode and we'll answer more in next week's episode. I hope you'll tune in.
When you're finished soaking up all the goodness is this episode, we'd love to hear from you. So, hop on over to Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message and let know what you thought about this episode or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com.
Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!
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Self-care is about taking care of you so that you don’t feel like you want to run away from home, aka your life.
Michelle Goodloe, self-care blogger and author of the guided self-care journal, Self Explore, Self Restore stopped by the virtual studio to impart some wisdom on how to take care of you both in and out of "crisis season".
Michelle is a licensed social worker with experiences in providing clinical services, technical assistance and training on interpersonal trauma, domestic violence and child abuse. She is all too familiar with, and understands how difficult it can be to practice self-care on a regular basis. Thus her reason for creating the GMichelle Self Care Platform".
And in this episode she's handing out all kinds of self-care goodies as she reminds us that self-care isn't selfish. She sheds light on how you can get consumed with guilt because you don't feel like you deserve to take care of you, why you feel guilty about and how you can put those feelings in check with a few simple, but fun activities.
Some of the things we covered in this episode were:
What is trauma? Implementing a regular and daily self-care practice Creating a self-care "to go" strategy How self-care is directly connected to self-awareness Recognizing deficits in nutrition to contribute to increased stress levels and trauma
...and so much more.
Michelle also answered a listener's question during this episode. Here's the question, but you have to tune in to hear her response... I'm a single mother who works full time. Although, my kids are not a job, most of the time it feels like I have 2 full time jobs and I'm being worked overtime.
At this point I'm feeling run down and I'm failing to take care of myself due to time and financial restraints. It's hard for me to feel strong and be at my best when I feel so worn out mentally and physically. But I know if I'm not okay then my kids are not okay so I need to take care of me. How do I find time for "me time" that'll fit in tight budget?
Signed, Overworked The strategies/activities she provided in response to this question are oh so good. She made it super clear that you can still take care of you even when it's challenging to take a break from being a mom.
Taking care of you is the MOST important thing you can do for yourself and your family. You want to leave a legacy that your family can be proud of, and that starts with you taking care of you FIRST. ...because as cliche as it sounds, you can't take care of others if you don't take care of you.
As you can see, this episode is filled with so much goodness. So be sure to check it out.
And be sure to connect with Michelle Goodloe on Instagram at @thegmichelle and on her website at gmichelle.com. And while you're on her website, take a few minutes to take the Discover Your Needs: Self Care Quiz and check out this really cool article: 3 Ways to Create Your Self-Care Plan.
And.....
When you're finished soaking up all this wisdom and knowledge, we'd love to hear from you. So, hop on over to Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message and let know what you thought about this episode or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com.
Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!
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How do you deal with LIFE when life happens?
Here's an even better question OR the one more frequently asked...
Where is God when life happens? How many times have you questioned this very thing when when life turns your world upside down? I can't even count the number of times I've questioned why God allowed this horrible thing to happen to me. For as long as I can remember, my life has been one traumatic event after another. Seriously, there have been so many days when I’ve been like,
“Really God? You doing that?”
...and I’ve shed more tears than I care to remember. As a matter of fact, that is the story of my life and I'm sharing a little of it in this week's episode.
Tune in NOW as I share my story of hope, healing and forgiveness, and how I eventually came to terms with WHY God allowed so many horrible things to happen in my life.
And when you're finished, we'd love to hear from you. So, hop on over to Shades of Strong and share your story with us via voice message or send us an email at hi@shadesofstrong.com.
OR
Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!
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There's so much freedom in finding yourself, owning your voice and standing in your truth. Tune in as Shades of Strong co-host, Natty shares her story of healing from an emotionally unhealthy,interracial marriage and how she developed a contingency plan to help her deal with trauma in a healthy and productive way.
And when you're finished, we'd love to hear from you. So, hop on over to Shades of Strong and share your story with us via voice message.
OR
Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!
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I've been seeing this meme floating around on social media saying, "stop telling people how to heal from stuff you've never been through"....
Well, here's a suggestion for ya...
Stop telling people how to heal their [emotional] pain PERIOD! ヅ
Recently, while standing in the middle of the aisle at Walgreens looking for Dove’s pear and aloe vera soap, I heard the words,
“Girl, stop crying and get out of bed. Your life could be a lot worse. He’ll be back when he realizes what he lost….” I was a little taken aback by the conversation for two reasons… One…. because here’s this lady is on the phone in a public place [loudly] having a conversation that most certainly should have been kept private. And two because…….
Oh my gosh! Why is she telling her that when she’s obviously hurting -- like in serious emotional pain? But, being the mind your business girl that I am, I shook it off, grabbed my soap and went on my merry little way.
In all honesty, the lady probably meant no harm and she clearly thought she was helping her friend; but the reality is when someone is going through a moment of despair the last thing she wants to hear is, “it could be worse.” The fact that it could be worse does not lessen the pain she’s feeling in that moment, does it? Of course not! She may stop crying and she may even get out of bed, but it’s not because she realizes that it could be worse. It’s because she just realized that her friend doesn’t care about her pain – or at least that what’s she’s thinking because her friend (unknowingly) implied that her feelings are not valid. So, she’s getting out of bed because now she’s got to prove to her friend that she’s bigger than this pain she’s experiencing.
Ladies!!! We gotta stop doing this to each other. I talk to women everyday who are hurting, broken, struggling to recover from various traumas and tragedies – abuse, rape, rejection, death, break ups – pain that has left them feeling hopeless, worthless and un-loved. As a matter of fact, I used to be one of them. ...but they can’t get the healing they need because family, friends, society, religion have made them feel like they can’t feel what they’re feeling. Join Natty and I at the virtual table as we shed some light on how harmful our words can be when we're not sensitive to the trauma of others.
And when you're finished, we'd love to hear your thoughts on how you support your friends and family when life happens unexpectedly. So, hop on over to Shades of Strong and share your story with us via voice message.
OR
Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!
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... ♪♪ all the time they want to take your place ♪♪ We've seen a lot of the crab in the bucket mentality among African American females, and I'm not saying it doesn't exist in other communities -- I know it does, but like with all things that negatively impact us, the spotlight is often directed towards us more than others.
Take for instance Nicki Minaj and Cardi B – I'm sure there are tons of other female singers and rappers that have beef with each other, but who's names constantly show up in the headlines? Nicki and Cardi, right?
But even with black females being under constant ridicule for tearing each other down, I'm actually noticing that A LOT of us are recognizing that we're stronger together, so we're forging solid friendships and clinging to the sisterhood both on and offline.
Black women are coming together to lift each other up and cheer each other own. We're tired of the whole super woman -- S on your chest mentality -- we're tired of being alone, hiding, living in shame and feeling disconnected.
We ARE actually craving more meaningful connections with each other and I LOVE IT!
But, here's the deal...
...if you don't surround yourself with the RIGHT people, you'll find yourself on the other side of sisterhood -- the side where betrayal, cattiness, competition, threats and gossip wreak havoc on your life.
That's when sisterhood becomes toxic! ヅ
And...
That's the sisterhood I'm not here for!
So, the question at hand is...
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THE SISTERHOOD BECOMES TOXIC?
How do you recover from it.
OR
Better yet, how do you keep it from happening?
Tune in to this episode and get an earful as Natty and I talk about our personal experiences with betrayal and cattiness within friendships and on offer a few suggestions so that you don't find yourself in that same place.
When you’ve soaked up all of the goodness that is this episode, hop on over to Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message telling us what you thought about it.
OR
Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!
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I am not my hair!! That's the tune Lynette Bradshaw is singing as she holds on tight to her emotional freedom while sharing her story of how losing her hair sent her into hiding and how it took her embracing her vulnerabilities and facing her fears head on to move out of that space into a space of freedom and wholeness. Lynette shares how she always had problems with her hair not growing, not being healthy, bald spots on the sides of my head and being bullied for it. In 2014 she lost all her hair and her heard herself scream as if someone had died.
I looked in the mirror and saw the ugly little girl I was. I saw the ugly teenager the bullies talked about and teased daily. I had to ask God to show me how to love the woman I was then, but I realized I didn't love the woman with hair.
But Lynette didn't let the loss keep her stuck in bondage. She took the necessary steps to set herself free by getting to the root cause of what robbed her of her emotional freedom.
In her search for emotional freedom, she landed on the "steps" of her parent's front porch where she felt like they didn't want her, didn't need her, didn't love her which lead to years of depression.
Lynette details how her emotional freedom was destroyed by being called"a bald headed heifer" by her mom.
But she also details how she stared her "BULLY" (aka her fear) in the face and took back her emotional freedom.
If you're struggling with finding your own emotional freedom because of things in the past, pain that as inflicted upon or because you've experienced some kind of loss, this episode will take you on a journey of healing, wholeness and freedom. So, tune in now so you can get the healing you need and deserve. LYNETTE CAN BE FOUND IN THE FOLLOWING ONLINE SPACES:
Facebook Business Page: Lynette M Bradshaw Twitter: Lynette M Bradshaw YouTube: http://bit.ly/LynetteMBradshawLive
When you’ve soaked up all of the goodness that is this episode, hop on over to Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message telling us what you thought about it.
OR
Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!
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The art of being a parent is to guide your children through life and to look out for their best interest; but contrary to what most believe, there is no parent-child relationship without some level of friendship.
With that said, you MUST be your child's friend in order for your relationship with them to work.
However, in the African American culture, the overall consensus is that the parent should absolutely NOT be her child's friend.
The assumption is that we are stricter and less tolerant when it comes to how we raise our children and that is undoubtedly contributed to the fact the a vast majority of black children are raised in single parent homes and the mother is the primary parent – so we’re often have tough rules in place to “save” them from the world.
When Natty and I were growing up our parent's didn't really believe in being “friends”.
Children had their place and it was certainly not to befriend a parent.
We raised our children a little different, but we still have healthy boundaries.
In this episode we talk about some of those boundaries and how we've fostered a healthy friendship with our children while still maintaining respect and authority in the relationship.
We both agree that being your child's friend is an essential and necessary part of preparing them to function in a society that can often be cruel and unfair.
We provide some clarification on how being your child's friend does not take away from your ability to effectively parent or discipline and how fear based parent does not benefit you or your child.
Tune in now to find out how you can be your child's friend and still maintain your parenting integrity.
And when you’ve soaked up all of this goodness, hop on over to Shades of Strong and leave us a voice message telling us what you thought about the episode.
OR
Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!
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Rob brought the MEAT to the cookout in this episode. I'm telling you, he gets ALL THE WAY NAKED about strong black women and the black men who love them. He delves deep into why there’s such a huge disconnect in male and female relationships and how we can remedy that by mastering the art of communication. Baabbyy!!!! He is serving up all kinds of goodness -- ribs, chicken, hamburgers, hot dogs..ERRTHANG!!!!
Some of the episode's defining moments include:
What it was like growing up as a black man in a community of strong black women Common myths he's personally encountered about the strong black woman and how he handled them What it's like raising a daughter in a society that may label her as angry and his plan for handling that How forgiveness, patience and compassion can restore the relationship between the black man and strong black woman The role of black men in the strong black woman's life How men and women think, communicate, operate and experience life differently How the breakdown in communication often contributes to the misconception of the strong black woman The importance of knowing your identity and strength as a woman from a non-secular or popular culture point of view The value of strong black women partnering with black men and helping them to better understand their needs and how to support them
This episode has so much MEAT! Nobody's going hungry today. Seriously, Rob is serving up all kinds of goodness. From his growing relationship with his eight-year old daughter to the characteristics of his ideal mate, he left no charcoal unburned.
ABOUT ROB Being a man of many gifts and talents, nothing exhilarates Robert Badgett III more than empowering the masses to take transformative action in their personal lives, businesses and families through education, arts and entertainment.
For the last 15 years, he has used his creative forms of expression to reach the masses. As a music artist, he has released several empowering & motivational compilation albums filled with revival and hope! As a Producer, he has produced and co-hosted several radio programs aimed at empowering others to work through relationships issues with self and others, finding their voice, purpose and passion- whatever it takes to discover their greatness!
As an author, he just released his brand new best seller His Love Letters for Her- his gift of inspiration to all women, reminding them that they are unconditionally loved and valued! He has written and marketed innovative curricula followed by making that hope, empowerment, and revival available to the masses through podcast and vlogs series as well as speaking words of empowerment at conferences, seminars and workshops, bringing healing, hope and insight to those trapped in failure!
Robert H. Badgett III is also an entrepreneur, Founder and CEO of his own media education company, Made To BFree Inc. Apart from business and ministry, Rob is a devoted father of three children and enjoys spending time investing in their lives. It is his mission and purpose to Be Filled, Revived, and Empowered everyday of his life.
You can find Rob in the following online spaces: Website: www.hislovelettersforher.com
Facebook: hislovelettersforher
ALL social media platforms: @madetobfree
Rob's MOST Quotable Moment: “You [women] have that internal clock of intuition and those hard wire emotional things that we just don't have, which is why we need you; but use it as a strength, not as something that's going to become a weakness in your relationship."
If you enjoyed this episode of Shades of Strong, tell a friend to tell a friend.
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Rape Culture Within The Culture | The Silent Cries of Strong Black Girls
Disclaimer: This episode is about sexual violence and may be a trigger for some. Please proceed with caution.
Rape culture is not a group of people who are actively or openly promoting rape -- that's not to imply that that kind of thing doesn't happen, but what we're talking about in this episode is every day cultural practices in which sexual violence is treated as the norm and victims are blamed for their own assault and how "the culture" contributes to this kind of behavior.
Some of the practices/behavior we talked about in this episode are:
"What happens in this house stays in this house" Telling women that they we're dressed inappropriately Victim blaming Not having conversations with our sons (at a young age) about their responsibility for how they treat women Giving the penis and vagina "cute" names Publicly defending celebrities while accusing victims of wanting to destroy their careers No means no even within the confines of a relationship S and M/Sexual fantasies
Listed below are some resources for anyone who has been a victim of sexual violence &/or for those who need help having the tough conversations and asking the hard questions.
Organization Phone Number Description
Stop It Now! 1-888-PREVENT (773-8368) Educational resource on watching for signs of child abuse, what to do if you suspect it, and ways to report it
New Hope Now 714-NEW-HOPE (639-4673) Christian based counseling services
RAINN 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) Immediate crisis help and information about recovery and prosecution from the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network
Safe Horizon 1-866-621-HOPE (4673) 24 hour hotline for many kinds of abuse
Kristin Brooks Hope Center 1-800-SUICIDE Non-profit with focus on suicide counseling and awareness
Covenant House 1-800-999-9999 Free and confidential counseling, available 4:00pm-8:00pm, 7 days a week
Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-TALK (8255) National suicide prevention lifeline
Childhelp 1-800-4-A-CHILD (422-4453) National child abuse hotline
This episode is one of many conversations we need to normalize in African American familes. Our Children's lives depend on it.
Tune in now to see how you can your family's dynamic by being bold enough, courageous to have the hard conversations.
And when you've soaked up all of this goodness, hop on over to Shades of Strong and leave us a message telling us what you thought about the episode.
OR
Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!
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Can we PLEASE stop apologizing for our blackness?
It's no secret that black women have been called every label under the sun -- bitter, angry, too emotional, not emotional enough...
...and the list goes on.
Well, Natty and I are no longer ashamed to say that we have been AND sometimes still are ALL THE THINGS they call us and we're not apologizing for any of it.
In this week's episode of Shades of Strong we're embracing our blackness by taking all the negative and harsh things they call us when they see us and turning them in to the goodness that is BLACK GIRL MAGIC!
Why? Because there is so much uniqueness in the blackness that is us and contrary to popular belief aka white America, our blackness is what makes us human.
Our blackness is what makes us great!
Our culture is wrapped up and tied up in the beauty of our blackness -- from the crown of heads to the tops of our feet, our blackness is who we are!
So, what are you waiting for? Tune in now to see how we make magic by embracing what they call us when they see us.
And when you've soaked up all of this goodness, hop on over to Shades of Strong and leave us a message telling us what you thought about the episode.
OR
Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!
SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW
If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review. Not sure how to do that? Click HERE for a quick how to.
Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast:
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Photo Credit: Clarke Sanders on Unsplash
Feeling stuck is scary and uncomfortable...
It often comes when we're fighting against what we feel we've been born to do or when we're fighting desperately to play a role that has been forced upon us.
In this episode Natty and I talk about some of the habits that keep black women feeling stuck using the Le’Andria Johnson story as a point of reference.
It is painfully obvious in Le'Andria's story that feeling stuck is common among women, specifically African American women, for at least one of the reasons below:
-
We fear breaking the “rules” (inflicted on them by others)
-
We sacrifice our happiness for the happiness of others
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We allow others to silence us into submission
-
They allow others to limit their potential
-
We're afraid to reinvent ourselves
-
We see vulnerability as a weakness
And don't forget to hop over to and Shades of Strong and leave us a message telling us what you thought about the episode.
OR
Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening!!
SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW
If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review. Not sure how to do that? Click HERE for a quick how to.
Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast:
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Photo Credit: Not sure. If you know, please tag them
We Love Our Black Men -- Sometimes to Our Own Detriment When we're newly coupled up, everything looks like pink tulips and butterflies -- we spend our days daydreaming about him and the relationship through a pair of proverbial rose-colored glasses.
But as soon as the newness wears off, ish gets real and everything in us is SCREAMING...
GET OUT!!! But for whatever reason, we find ourselves stuck justifying why we stay and why we continue to accept the behavior that we're reluctant to call abuse.
Those on the outside looking in could easily say that being "trapped" in a relationship is a state of mind, because surely no one needs consent to leave a relationship, right?
Natty and I beg to differ. There are countless women walking the face of the earth everyday going through their daily routines laughing and smiling, while being STUCK in unhealthy relationships that range from alienation of affection to literally fighting to stay alive.
The reasons for staying vary from one woman to the next, but in this episode we cover the
TOP FIVE REASONS why we often find ourselves trapped in unhealthy relationships.
In no particular order those reasons are as follows:
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Our PERCEPTION of what constitutes abuse.
-
LOYALTY– as Black people, we don’t always feel comfortable surrendering “our own” to the treatment of a racially biased police state and as women, we don’t always feel safe calling police officers who may harm us instead of helping us. AND when we do speak out or seek help, we too often experience backlash from members of our own communities who believe we are airing out dirty laundry and making ourselves look bad in front of white people.
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SPIRITUAL BELIEFS -- we are more likely to rely on religious guidance and faith-based practices – Religious beliefs often discourage divorce, instead encourage forgiveness and often condemns those who dare to get out.
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Our attempts to embody the "STRONG BLACK WOMAN" STEREOTYPE– how we see ourselves
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SAVING FACE – guilt, shame and fear
This episode is for every black woman who has been guilted into silence, for every black woman who's looking for a way out and for every black woman who finally got the courage to take her life back from the unhealthy relationship that stole it from her.
YOU, MY BEAUTIFUL BLACK QUEENS ARE THE G.O.A.T!
Tune in NOW and be sure to share this episode with someone you know who needs it; and be sure to grab the guide: Trapped in a Bad Relationship | Recognizing the Signs and How to Safely Get Out
And don't forget to hop over to and Shades of Strong and leave us a message telling us what you thought about the episode.
OR
Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening!!
SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW
If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review. Not sure how to do that? Click HERE for a quick how to.
Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast:
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Photo Credit: Not sure. If you know, please tag them
To be Strong, Black and Woman Struggling with Mental Health Issues...
We can't pray it away, we can't sleep it away, we can't choose it away. We need support too. Tarij P Henson, Michelle Williams, Alicia Keys, Jennifer Lewis, Lisa Nicole Carson, Fantasia, Audra McDonad, Halley Berry, Serena Williams, Macy Gray...
What do these African American women have in common? They've all been very open with there struggle with mental health issues. You know what else they have in common? We all celebrated and uplifted them when they announced their struggles with depression, bi-polar disorder, etc... So why is when "regular, everyday" women like Natalyn, Jasmin, Diathe and myself are open with our struggles, we're told to pray it away?
Exxxactly!
That was just one of the things we covered in this episode, and boy was it powerful!!
This episode features guest co-hosts Diathe Garne and Jasmin Pierre, both strong advocates and professionals for mental health in the African American community.
They joined us behind the mic as we worked to bring clarity to:
The difference in being a black woman who is strong and a STRONG BLACK WOMAN The pros and cons of each – mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally The societal and religious pressure of being a strong black woman Suggestions on how we can shift the strong black woman narrative while protecting and prioritize our mental health
Everybody in the room was more than happy share their personal experiences on how being a Strong Black Woman has often put her in a place of brokenness, how the church has directly or indirectly contributed to that brokenness and what it took for each of us to get our healing in world that often frowns on therapy and dismisses mental health issues in the African American community.
Needless to say, it got really heavy and raw.
Seriously, no stone was left un-turned in this episode.
Do yourself a favor and don't sleep on this conversation. Tune in NOW and then hop over to and Shades of Strong and leave us message telling us what you thought about the episode.
OR
Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening!!
AND
Be sure to check out The Safe Place App available in the app store for IPhone and Android. The Safe Place is a minority mental health app created by Jasmin Pierre to raise mental health awareness in the black community and serves as a great resource for African American individuals considering therapy, but don't know where to start.
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Photo Cred: Alvin Balemesa on Unsplash
Black Girl Magic –
the phrase coined to celebrate the beauty, power and resilience that is the Black Woman
As much as I love the Black Girl Magic that is me and every other Strong Black Woman who graces the earth with her presence, I can honestly say that I don’t always honor and respect her; and I'm sure there are many others walking around [in shoes just as cute as mine] singing the same song.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but here's how a typical day goes for you...
√ You roll out of bed every morning wake the kids,
√ get them ready for school
√ get yourself ready for work
√ work eight hours and if you’re lucky enough NOT to have errands to run, grab some lunch somewhere in between
√ head home, prepare dinner
√ help the kiddos with homework
√ get them ready for bed
√ get yourself ready
√ and say a quick prayer for strength just so you can do it all over again tomorrow
I see you hesitantly nodding your head, yes. Girl!! You DO NOT need to be ashamed.
There's no judgment here, but....
Can I ask you a few quick questions for market research?
But for real though...
Where was the me time?
Where was the self-care? oh my bad! That's reserved for Saturdays, right?
Where is the protection of that Black Girl Magic you're always hashtagging about?
Hmmmm....
Let me help you get some act right quick, fast and in a hurry because you are running yourself ragged and slowly quenching the FIRE that is the Black Girl Magic!
If you really want to celebrate the beauty, power, resilience and MAGIC that is the Black Woman, don't hashtag about it! BE ABOUT IT!
You see, Black Girl Magic is not only about affirming our beauty and intellectual capacity.
It's about unapologetically protecting and celebrating every fiber of who we are -- mentally, spiritually, and emotionally; and Natty and I are here to help you get your life ALL THE WAY together.
In this episode we chat it up about:
√ How to honor your feelings without waddling in the "feels"
√ How to ask for what you need and give yourself permission to receive it
√ How to unapologetically demand respect for your emotional space
√ How to get your "NO" game up when everything in you wants to say yes
√ How to STOP saying you're good, when you're not
We also share our own personal stories of what it took for us to honor and protect our Black Girl Magic spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally while still being available for those who lean and depend on us.
Tune in NOW and AND after you've gotten your Shades of Strong fix , head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation. If you're tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening!!
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Photo Credit: Ricaldo Donaldson from Pexels
"Black women ain't out here angry for nothing!" Ife Madzimoyo hit the nail on head with this one. As a matter of fact (in my honest opinion), no truer words have ever been spoken. So, Natty and I invited the Queen of emotional wellness [for black women] to join us at the table to see if together we could shed some light on why black women are so angry.
...and boy did we! Y'all know how Iyanla Vanzant is always saying "call a thing a thing"?
Oh! My Gosh! We did that! We unpacked so much goodness in this one episode and there's still so much more to unpack.
,
... and it all started with one ("LOADED") question, , "When you hear the words, angry black woman what's the first thing that comes to mind?"
The responses ranged from "a very flippant way of attempting to control someone" to "extremely dismissive". But that doesn't even scratch the surface of just how deep this conversation goes.
We talked about the internal (how we may have inadvertently taken on the title of the angry black woman ourselves), as well as the external label (how this label has been placed on us by the white/eurocentric, dominant culture).
We then went on to chat it up about internalized oppression, our ancestors and how they expressed or didn't express anger (or any emotion), and how that contributes to how we express our emotions.
And if that wasn't enough, we went there with how the "we are not our ancestors" memes are completely disrespectful to those who fought with valor, as well as to those who often remained silent in the name of survival.
We then wrapped it all up with how we can support each other physically, spiritually and emotionally while building and growing together.
Seriously, this conversation could have gone on for days and we still wouldn't have unpacked everything.
Check it now and AND when we're you're finished, hop on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation. Happy listening!!
SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW
If you found this episode valuable, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review. Not sure how do that? Click HERE for a quick how to.
Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast:
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Want to join the conversation? Friend me on Facebook or hop on over to the Shades of Strong Facebook Page and share your thoughts in the comments of this week's episode.
Here's a short poem written and recited by Natalyn Bradshaw reaffirming and validating you. Download it and click play whenever you need reassurance of how just magical you are.
Photo Credit: Clarke Sanders on Unsplash
Being a Strong Black Woman often means giving up your right to just be (whomever you are) because... They tell you to take risks – take lots of them. Then question you when you do.
They imply that you need to be everything to everybody.
They tell you not to settle for mediocrity – fight for the life you want.
But no one tells you how to do any of those things. There’s no rule book or guide.
So, you stumble. You fall flat on your face. And now you’re trying to figure out how to soar.
You’re fighting with everything in you – not being easily intimidated.
Not letting society, religion, the man walk all over you.
You boldly speak up against unfairness and injustices in your personal and business life.
You have the audacity, the unmitigated gall to sit at the table where you’ve rightfully earned your seat.
You even dared to build your own table – building your own empire and ruling as THE QUEEN within its walls.
You fight! You push! You refuse to be silenced! You stand in your truth. You refuse to allow anyone to control your narrative.
You proudly adorn yourself with your superwoman cape and eagerly place a S on your chest.
And just when you’re feeling like all is right in your world, you find yourself on the wrong side of being a strong black woman.
Suddenly, you’ve been labeled bitter, angry, emotional, unemotional, aggressive, too independent, not independent enough and the list goes on.
Black men don’t want to date you.
White men don’t want to hire you.
Your health is failing -- mentally, physically and emotionally. You have no idea how to process any of these experiences.
So, now here you are – ready to renounce your strength by boldly declaring,
“I’m not a strong black woman. I’m just a woman.”
Welp! Natty and I are here to help change all of that because you are NOT just a woman! You are innately strong, innately black, innately woman and it's time to STOP apologizing for that.
Tune in NOW to hear our thoughts on the cost of being a strong black woman and how you can stand in your truth without apologizing for your strong black womaness, AND we're you're finished, hop on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or Instagram @shadesofstrong and join the conversation with the hashtag #mystrongis
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Welcome to season two of Shades of Strong FKA Get Naked LIVE! Please join me in welcoming our co-host Natalyn Bradshaw. Natalyn is beyond amazing. She brings a unique energy to the show and I know you will adore her just as much as I do. So, tune in now to get to know her before EPISODE 001 of SEASON TWO drops on March 11th where we’ll be talking about what it’s like to be Strong, Black and Woman in America.
AND after you’ve checked out the welcome and gotton to know a little about Natalyn, hop on over to our new Twitter account @shadesofstrong, CLICK FOLLOW AND give her (@npbradshaw) a welcome shout out and tell us what topics you would like to hear on the new season!
After receiving a number of messages from men "seeking naked black women", major changes are being made. Tune in NOW for the details.
WHITE PRIVILEGE DOES EXIST IN AMERICA! Dear oppressors of the STRONG BLACK WOMAN: Don’t tell me to be myself, but in the same breath say, “Girl!!! Not like that”.
Don’t tell me how to feel. How to respond. How to live.
Don’t tell me what to say. What to wear. How to pray.
Let me be me. Let me do me. Let me live free
… in all of my vulnerability without you sitting in the corner judging me!
This episode of Get Naked LIVE features, Amy Brooks who is not afraid to tell the world that white privilege DOES INDEED EXIST. She and I had such an amazing time chatting it up about the differences in the experiences of white women vs. those of black women, the expectations of society from black women in their personal and business lives and what we can all do to bridge the gap.
Amy Brooks gets naked about white privilege in America
“White women in particular have the privilege to opt in or out of conversations— opt in or opt out of the struggle, the fight for justice and difficult conversations. Everything just feels really optional for white women...”
Some of the episode's defining moments include:
The white woman's experience vs that of the African American Woman The STRONG BLACK WOMAN in and outside the board room Bridging the gap in race relations and embracing human connection That moment when her bi-racial son labeled her as "another white woman yelling at black boys" Normalizing mixed faces and modeling authentic connections despite our differences
ABOUT AMY BROOKS Amy Brooks is a book coach and author who helps wannabe writers get out of their own way. She encourages everyone to figure out their story and share their wisdom. She founded VoicePenPurpose Publishing to help individuals embrace their voice, pick up their pen, and step into their purpose. After moving her family to Costa Rica and holding Writing for Change retreats there, she and her family have recently resettled in Maryland. She works with clients online and in small workshops. Learn more at VoicePenPurpose.com.
You can find Amy in the following online spaces: Facebook: Voice Pen Purpose Publishing and Amy Brooks
If you enjoyed this episode of Get Naked LIVE, tell a friend to tell a friend.
…and if would you have a story to share and would like to be a guest on the show, Click HERE to make it happen.
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If you found this episode valuable, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.
Other Ways to subscribe to the Get Naked LIVE Podcast for the Strong Black Woman:
Click here to subscribe via Google Play Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe via Stitcher Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via e-mail
Want to join the conversation? Friend me on Facebook or hop on over to the Get Naked LIVE Facebook Page and share your thoughts in the comments of this week's episode or any other episode that suits your fancy.
psst....
Check out what's coming down the pipeline...
Get Naked LIVE Weekly panel discussions, Get Naked Bath, Body and Mind™ , Shades of STRONG™ multi-media campaign and docu-series COMING SOON. Like the Facebook Page to stay in the loop.
People often look at me and think that I have it all together — mostly because that’s what I've led them to believe.
I haven't always been this big bundle of AWESOMENESS you see out here in these internet streets, and in the words of Langston Hughes, "LIFE FOR ME AIN'T BEEN NO CRYSTAL STAIR".
It's been filled with lots of tragedy, trauma, heartache and heartbreaks. As a matter of fact, it wasn't that long ago that my life was in complete shambles. I was carrying around so much bitterness and anger, and unforgiveness was wreaking havoc on my life.
In hindsight, it was such a miserable existence – loneliness, unhappiness and so much unrest. So, I did something about it! I took my life back and I've never been happier.
For several weeks I've been sharing the stories of some amazing women, but now it's my turn to GET NAKED! I cannot lie, y'all. I was a little nervous about it, which is why it took me so long to release this episode. Seriously, I was supposed to do this a month ago. But my fears got the best of me. I was like Shirley, are you really ready to get THAT naked before your listeners, but here I am taking my clothes off because I realize that my story is not about me -- it never has been. It's about those I've been called to serve and if you're listening this episode or reading this post, you're included in that number.
So here goes........
In this episode you get the raw, unedited, uncut version of me – the me without the mask.
... and we're back!! Well not quite, but after a three week hiatus we'll be back MONDAY with a brand new episode and I'm head over heals excited about it! As you already know, I've had several guests come on to share their stories about getting naked, defining strength on their own terms and learning to LOVE LIFE UNMASKED!
Well, guys...it's my turn!!! That's right! I'm coming out NAKED AND UNASHAMED. Monday's episode is going to be epic because I'm taking my clothes off and I'm inviting you to take a front row seat as I share my story of how I overcame a number of traumatic events -- and I'm going all in.
I'm talking heart break, domestic violence, sexual assault, rebellious teens, teen pregnancies, prison sentences, job loss, foreclosure, car repossession............ You name it!!! I'll probably be talking about it!!!
Trust me! You don't want to miss it.
I ain't gon lie, though! I'm a little nervous about it, but I'm doing it anyway and I hope you'll be tuning in!!
Anyway... been behind the scenes doing the damn thing and I'm wasn't just working on new episodes. I've been working on the Get Naked product line, I've been putting plans in place for the sister circle, a docu-series, a multi media campaign, international strong black woman day...all kinds of goodness because we are taking the words, STRONG BLACK WOMAN back!! If I have anything to do with it, those three words will no longer be associated with negative connotations. Those three words will no longer be stigmatized!
....and you can help me make that happen. Hop over to the home page of getnakedlive.com, scroll down until you see the link the says "join the movement", type in your name and email address to get the deets and lets make it happen.
Hey, y'all!!! Get Naked LIVE has made it half way through season one. We've had several dynamic guests come on to share their stories, and there's more greatness on the horizon. So this is not good-bye -- it's see you later. We'll be back September 10th with more GREAT content and AMAZING guests. In the meantime, please go back and check out some of the previous episodes at getnakedlive.come or wherever you get your podcast fix.
Episode 012 of Get Naked LIVE™ features Kaila Boulware, President of the Baldie Movement. Kaila has been struggling with alopecia for ten years and there were days when she was afraid to leave her room without something covering her head; but FED UP with hiding, she looked at herself in the mirror about two years ago, and declared, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Today, SHE'S BALD! SHE'S NAKED! SHE'S FREE!! Tune in to today's episode of Get Naked LIVE and hear how she finally kicked fear in the butt and started walking in freedom and wholeness.
Kaila Boulware gets naked about loving yourself from the OUTSIDE in while living with alopecia. "From birth, we are taught that our hair is a major part of our beauty. But, what if we don't have any!? Are we not beautiful? Of course we are! But how do we come to learn, and accept our beauty as bald women in a world that tell us we are not so?"
Kaila addresses these questions throughout her interview while taking us on a journey of how she learned to embrace her physical nakedness, which in turn taught her how to embrace her emotional nakedness. Some of the episode's defining moments include:
How alopecia affected her confidence and self-esteem Viewing beauty from a perspective that promotes loving yourself unconditionally The black girl starter kit and common myths about being bald Dating as a baldie and how she met her husband AFTER she shaved her head Loving yourself with or without hair -- no matter your size, or shape Defining beauty on your own terms
ABOUT KAILA BOULWARE Kaila Boulware is a digital artist and philanthropist residing in New Jersey. Graduating from Rutgers University, Kaila uses her skills and talents to showcase the "NAKEDNESS" of women in the fashion and entertainment industry. She's also the president of The B.A.L.D.I.E (Beauty and Love Demonstrated in Everything) Movement, where she works to celebrate, support, and empower bald women and children to love themselves more--without the need of hair.
You can find Kaila in the following online spaces: Facebook: The Baldie Movement and Kaila Boulware
Instagram: The Baldie Movement and Kaila Boulware Click HERE to Join The Baldie Movement Support Group Click HERE to Join Kaila and Other Baldies for Walk with Confidence 2018
Kaila's MOST Quotable Moment: "You have to love your NAKED self unconditionally. If you don't, no one else will."
If you enjoyed this episode of Get Naked LIVE, tell a friend to tell a friend.
…and if would you have a story to share and would like to be a guest on the show, Click HERE to make it happen.
SUBSCRIBE. RATE. REVIEW
If you found this episode valuable, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review.
Other Ways to subscribe to the Get Naked LIVE Podcast for the Strong Black Woman:
Click here to subscribe via Google Play Click here to subscribe via RSS Click here to subscribe via Stitcher Click here to subscribe via Tunein Click here to subscribe via e-mail
Want to join the conversation? Friend me on Facebook or hop on over to the Get Naked LIVE Facebook Page and share your thoughts in the comments of this week's episode or any other episode that suits your fancy.
psst....
Check out what's coming down the pipeline...
Get Naked LIVE Weekly panel discussions, Get Naked Bath, Body and Mind™ , Shades of STRONG™ multi-media campaign and docu-series COMING SOON. Like the Facebook Page to stay in the loop.
Episode 011 of Get Naked LIVE™ features Nicole K. Jones, Domestic Violence Advocate. In this episode Nicole shares her story of sexual and physical abuse and how she was finally able to begin the healing and forgiveness process. Nicole gets really transparent about her experience — how long she stayed, why she stayed, how she thought her love for him was enough to fix him and the straw that broke the camel's back, forcing her to accept that LOVE was not enough to fix what was broken in her offender's life.
In this episode Nicole K. Jones let's us into some very private areas of her life and how forgiving your offender after sexual and physical abuse set her free from the emotional bondage. As a survivor of sexual and physical abuse, Nicole is now very cognizant of the subtle signs of abuse. She now makes it a habit of listening to what people are not saying. Additionally, as a domestic violence advocate she sows seeds of hope, healing and happiness into the lives of other women who need support in that area. Some of the episode's defining moments include:
How it felt to be labeled as strong when her life was falling apart The affects of sexual and physical abuse in her life How she overcame sexual and physical abuse What it was like wearing the mask and how she moved on from a facade life How to recognize the subtle signs of abuse What it took and how long it took for her to forgive her offender
ABOUT NICOLE K. JONES Nicole K Jones is a writer, author, and humanitarian. She has created a culture of community partnering with local nonprofits to build rapport and enhance the quality of life for those in need.
She is active in working with domestic violence survivors, homeless youth and community service organizations. She understands how essential it is to support institutions of culture and learning, S he takes immense gratification in volunteering and believes it is the duty of every citizen to support others in need.
She has worked with several organizations and has had the privilege of teaching workshops for youth creating a step by step process on how to write a book as well as reading and writing poetry session. For Nicole, volunteering is empowering and sharing a common bond to help others is rewarding.
You can find Nicole in the following online spaces: Facebook: Nicole K. Jones
Hope and Healing Facebook Community
Instagram: Nicole K. Jones Nicole's MOST Quotable Moment: "I believe in prayer. I believe in God. I believe in doing all of that; but you have to take action for your healing."
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Episode 010 of Get Naked LIVE™ features Juanita Foster, Leadership & Team Development Expert, Speaker, Trainer, and Consultant. In this episode Juanita shares her story of experiencing teen dating violence while being a mother at the age of fifteen. She recounts the first time she was hit by the father of her child, how she hid it from her family and friends while still attending school, and how she finally got out.
In this episode we see how unfortunate circumstances such as teen dating violence can take you to your breaking point, and how you can use those same circumstances to propel to your place of victory.
Growing up Juanita found herself a parent at the tender age of fifteen, taking care of siblings because her mom had succumb to drug abuse, and fighting desperately to keep the state's Child Protective Services out of their lives. She used that "strong black woman strength" that we all desperately cling to, to not only save her life, but to save her child's life and the lives of her siblings. Some of the episode's defining moments include:
Being in an abusive relationship at the age of fifteen while tackling being in an abusive relationship How she had to leave her son with his paternal grandmother to save their lives The physical scars she's still living with and how she overcame the emotional scars How her abuser alienated her from her friends and how she ended up living with his family How the strong black women in her family helped her make sure the state didn't get involved How she lied to her family and friends of about the abuse
ABOUT JUANITA FOSTER Juanita is a Leadership & Team Development Expert, Speaker, Trainer, and Consultant.
Her deep passion and commitment to leadership have led her to launch, Educate Motivate Elevate Consulting, LLC (EME Consulting). EME Consulting is committed to working with leaders and aspiring leaders on the nine pillars of leadership so that they show up powerfully and as a result, their organization experience increased profits.
Juanita received her Certification in Training and Staff Development in 2006, B.S. in Organizational Management in 2007 and M.A. in Organizational Leadership in 2009 from Wilmington University. She received her Ed. D in Organizational Leadership from Argosy University in 2016. She is also a member of Sigma National Honor Society.
Juanita is a Delaware native, a mother of three children and grandmother to two grandchildren.
You can find Juanita in the following online spaces: Website: leadingisthenewprofit.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/drjuanita
Twitter: @emeconsulting1
Instagram: @Emeconsulting Juanita's MOST Quotable Moment: "You don't always have to be strongest person in the room."
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Episode 009 of Get Naked LIVE™ features Adelai Brown, Heart Coach, Speaker and Mentor. In this episode Adelai paints a very vivid picture of how ditching the mask and coming out of hiding saved her life. She speaks candidly about how she had to overcome the pressure to be impenetrable and secretive about her life. She takes a deep dive into how black women unknowingly nurture humanity without caring for themselves, and in many cases, without allowing themselves to be cared for.
In this episode we get an inside look at a courageous woman ditching the mask and finally coming out of hiding
Growing up with a single mom, Adelai found herself tied up and bound up in emotional turmoil. Growing up without a father meant growing up in a toxic environment for her. After years of the toxicity and fighting desperately to be STRONG in the midst of LIFE HAPPENING, she finally surrendered to being vulnerable and renewed here relationship with God on a more intimate level. Some of the episode's defining moments include:
Growing up in a single parent home and how that impacted her emotionally The challenges of being a teen parent and feeling unworthy of God’s love How she had to get emotionally naked before herself and before God How she overcame church judgment and church hurt after getting pregnant out of wedlock How she's helping women get to the HEART of the guilt and shame that often wreaks havoc on their lives How the church can help women embrace their vulnerabilities instead of running from the pain
ABOUT ADELAI BROWN Adelai Brown is a Heart Coach, speaker and mentor who focuses on emotional wellness and personal growth. She uses her skills to teach, encourage and inspire others to confront matters of the heart and live authentically on purpose. After overcoming depression, teenage pregnancy, and domestic violence she has devoted her life to helping others heal insecurities, and begin to live effective lives by cultivating their inherent greatness.
Adelai is the founder of Heart Connections, a christian personal development company based in Charleston, South Carolina. She is an author and has self published three books, including the recently released Help! Save Me From My Broken Heart: Your Journey to Living and Loving Again.
Adelai has written and hosted multiple adult and youth workshops, retreats and summits, which have helped thousands overcome difficulties in life and learn practical ways to live triumphantly. In addition, she is also the co founder of The Village Mentoring, a program that works with youth, their families, and the community.
Adelai lives in Charleston SC with her husband Kevin. They have 4 children and 2 cats.
You can find Adelai in the following online spaces: Website: theheartconnections.com
Facebook: Heart Connections
Instagram: @theheartconnections Adelai's MOST Quotable Moment: "When you're holding yourself in contempt, it's easy to hold others there as well."
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Episode 008 of Get Naked LIVE™ features Danielle Dunn, CEO of Chikara Communications, LLC. In this episode Danielle takes us on a journey of how losing her best friend to Hodgkin’s lymphoma took an emotional toll on her, how challenging walking through grief and healing was and how she is now honoring her friends life.
This episode sheds a light on the individual journey of walking through grief and healing
For years Danielle, thought that mourning and grieving the loss of someone she loved dearly was only appropriate for her birthday and anniversary of her death. She also felt that she could only have level five grief because she wasn't a parent or blood sibling. She felt that if her friend's own mother was being "strong" in the face of losing her only child, then she definitely needed to get her ish together and not let the death of someone who was "just her friend" break her.
Some of the episode's defining moments include:
How she didn't want to make others feel uncomfortable by allowing herself to grieve How she felt like she didn't have the right to grieve because "she was just my friend" How she was extremely uncomfortable with the feelings of sadness and how feeling uncomfortable put on her on the run and led her to engaging in unhealthy activities How she wishes she had allowed herself to properly experience the grief How she now celebrates her best friend daily through the Ivy locs books series How she uses the devastating loss to affirm other women by talking about the value of sisterhood How allowing yourself to feel emotional pain sets you free How important it is to find a healing process that works specifically for you How she is now honoring her friends life.
ABOUT DANIELLE Danielle Carin Dunn is CEO of Chikara Communications, LLC., which provides professional writing services to small businesses. She is publisher and author of the IvyLocs book series. The first installment, IvyLocs, Episode 1: Tee-Tee’s Wedding was released in April 2016.
Recognized nationally for her work, Dunn was selected for the 2017 NAACP Author Pavilion. Her writings and opinions have been featured in the Detroit News and the National Black Women’s Roundtable on the State of Black Women in Michigan report. She was featured in the AAMBC Literary Awards 2017 national literacy campaign- #TheySayWeDontRead, with a mission to highlight the importance of literacy and writing in the African-American community.
A dedicated community servant, Dunn is the recipient of a Spirit of Detroit Award for “Dedicated Community Service” and a Certificate of Special Congressional Recognition for “Outstanding Community Service.”
Dunn is a proud Detroit Public School graduate and alumnus of Eastern Michigan University, where she majored in African-American Studies and English, Language and Literature. She writes to marry her love of language and storytelling with activism.
You can find Danielle in the following online spaces: Website: www.ivylocs.com
Facebook: Ivylocs
Instagram: @ivylocsbooks Danielle's MOST Quotable Moment: “Losing her felt like losing a piece of myself. I had to figure out what my life would be after losing someone who had been such an integral part of it. I can't even describe the level of devastation."
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Episode 007 of Get Naked LIVE™ features Gabrielle Leonard, Event Income Strategy Consultant and Coach. In this episode Gabrielle takes us on a journey of how emotional resilience saved her life. After being a homeless high school drop out, she was determined not to become a statistic, so she fought with everything in her to save herself from her circumstances.
Some of the episode's defining moments include:
How she dropped out of high school in the final semester of her senior year and how devastating that was Being a homeless high school dropout Having an emotional and psychological breakdown How circumstances forced her to be emotionally strong at a very young age Surviving a devastating hurricane in the Virgin Isalnds What it was like to tell her children that everything would be okay when she herself was certain of that How wisdom AND faith carried her through the storm The strength and expectations that have been thrust upon the black woman How black women are the true minority
This episode is filled with all things concerning emotional resilience. Gabrielle brings it all the way home as she dives deep into how if felt to drop out of school during the last semester of her senior year during a time when she was also homeless. She goes on to give us an inside look at surviving a devastating hurricane and gives us the inside scoop on why she thinks African American Women are the true minority. She seriously goes ALL THE WAY in about bouncing back from some of life's most traumatic events. ABOUT GABRIELLE Gabrielle Leonard is an Event Income Strategy Consultant who helps creatives, entrepreneurs, makers and influencers to diversify their income with live events.
You can find Gabrielle in the following online spaces: Website: www.gabrielleleonard.com
Facebook: Events and Marketing Studio
Instagram: @events_and_marketing_studio
YouTube: Gabrielle Leonard Gabrielle's MOST Quotable Moment: “ At a young age I understood the importance of feeling the feels, but not glorifying the feels."
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Episode 006 of Get Naked LIVE™ features Angela Roulette, Poet and Radio Host. This episode is filled with poetry snaps and slow claps. Seriously, Angela peels back every emotional layer while sharing her story of releasing the pain of the past and taking her life back from circumstances that threatened to kill her.
Some of the episode's defining moments include:
How her self esteem suffered as a result of not being wanted by her father How she overcame the guilt and shame of her father's suicide Her PTSD and anxiety diagnosis having grown up in a community that "doesn't do mental illness". How she went from one dysfunctional relationship to the next in search of unconditional love How she sabotaged the one great relationship she had because she was broken How therapy and faith CAN co-exist Her life before and after therapy How she chooses peace over everything, even if that means letting some people go
This episode is jammed packed with realness and rawness Angela wastes absolutely no time spitting her truth about releasing the pain, heartache and trauma of past experiences. She gets naked about her estranged relationship with her mother and father, overcoming guilt and shame and how poetry saved her life.
ABOUT ANGELA Born and raised in Kansas City, MO, poet Mz Angela Roux has always been a fan of language. She describes her poetry as “edu-tainment”, combining witty perspectives on modern day womanhood with social commentary and personal testimony. She is the creator and producer of Estrogen Rush, an all-female poetry show, which debuted in November 2012. In November 2015, she released and debuted her first poetry book "The Sinbad Sessions: Poems by Mz Angela Roux" published by Spartan Press. Currently she is the host of Roux On The Radio, airing third Saturdays at noon on KUAW 98.5FM and the TuneIn App.
You can find Angela in the following online spaces: Facebook: : www.facebook.com/mzangelaroux
Instagram: @mz_angela_roux
Snapchat: mz_angelaroux
Angela's MOST Quotable Moment: “ I love my mom from a very realistic place. I had to 'bury' the mother I wanted; and learn to love the mother I have. The moment I let go of the idea of what I wanted my mother to be, was the moment I started to get more peace."
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Episode 005 of Get Naked LIVE™ features Rob Badgett, Founder and CEO of Made To BFree Inc. Rob brought the MEAT to the cookout in this episode. I'm telling you, he gets ALL THE WAY NAKED about strong black women and the black men who love them. He delves deep into why there’s such a huge disconnect in male and female relationships and how we can remedy that by mastering the art of communication. Baabbyy!!!! He is serving up all kinds of goodness -- ribs, chicken, hamburgers, hot dogs..ERRTHANG!!!!
Some of the episode's defining moments include:
What it was like growing up as a black man in a community of strong black women Common myths he's personally encountered about the strong black woman and how he handled them What it's like raising a daughter in a society that may label her as angry and his plan for handling that How forgiveness, patience and compassion can restore the relationship between the black man and strong black woman The role of black men in the strong black woman's life How men and women think, communicate, operate and experience life differently How the breakdown in communication often contributes to the misconception of the strong black woman The importance of knowing your identity and strength as a woman from a non-secular or popular culture point of view The value of strong black women partnering with black men and helping them to better understand their needs and how to support them
This episode has so much MEAT! Nobody's going hungry today. Seriously, Rob is serving up all kinds of goodness. From his growing relationship with his eight-year old daughter to the characteristics of his ideal mate, he left no charcoal unburned.
ABOUT ROB Being a man of many gifts and talents, nothing exhilarates Robert Badgett III more than empowering the masses to take transformative action in their personal lives, businesses and families through education, arts and entertainment.
For the last 15 years, he has used his creative forms of expression to reach the masses. As a music artist, he has released several empowering & motivational compilation albums filled with revival and hope! As a Producer, he has produced and co-hosted several radio programs aimed at empowering others to work through relationships issues with self and others, finding their voice, purpose and passion- whatever it takes to discover their greatness!
As an author, he just released his brand new best seller His Love Letters for Her- his gift of inspiration to all women, reminding them that they are unconditionally loved and valued! He has written and marketed innovative curricula followed by making that hope, empowerment, and revival available to the masses through podcast and vlogs series as well as speaking words of empowerment at conferences, seminars and workshops, bringing healing, hope and insight to those trapped in failure!
Robert H. Badgett III is also an entrepreneur, Founder and CEO of his own media education company, Made To BFree Inc. Apart from business and ministry, Rob is a devoted father of three children and enjoys spending time investing in their lives. It is his mission and purpose to Be Filled, Revived, and Empowered everyday of his life.
You can find Rob in the following online spaces: Website: www.hislovelettersforher.com
Facebook: hislovelettersforher
ALL social media platforms: @madetobfree
Rob's MOST Quotable Moment: “You [women] have that internal clock of intuition and those hard wire emotional things that we just don't have, which is why we need you; but use it as a strength, not as something that's going to become a weakness in your relationship."
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If this episode had you saying, "Pass the peas,
Episode 004 of Get Naked LIVE™ features RaShaunda Fuller, founder of Statement Tees & Things™. In this episode, she gets real about how she lacked the emotional intelligence to be vulnerable and how she no longer sees being strong as a badge of honor. She's taken off the cape AND the mask is truly defining strength on her own terms.
Some of the Episode's Defining Moments:
The challenges of raising a seventeen year old son who's a black man in America How crying was unacceptable in her childhood home because it was viewed as being weak How her mother rarely showed anything other than positive emotions, which spilled over into her life How she lacked the emotional intelligence to handle the challenges of everyday life Making not-so-good choices and not going into hiding afterwards How slavery contributed to the lack of emotional intelligence among African American women How churches and communities need to have more dialogue around mental health How she finds it challenging to be consistent in freely expressing her emotions How she's encouraging her son to communicate his emotions
As you can see, it gets REAL in this episode. RaShaunda held nothing back. She was very open about her childhood experiences with her mother and her father and how those experiences shaped how she lives her life and how she raises her son.
ABOUT RASHAUNDA RaShaunda Fuller, founder of My Social Media Mentors, an online social media training center that offers self-paced social media courses for women entrepreneurs, is most widely known for her “Pinning with a Purpose” course that taught women how to achieve big brand success on a shoestring budget while using Pinterest marketing. The training center also served as community for women who are passionate about their personal development in addition to succeeding in business.
She recently launched an apparel and novelty online store, “Statement Tees & Things™” where she uses her creative skills, unique way with words, her love for motivating others & her for passion for fashion in a motivating but stylish way. She's committed to making sure that her customers have apparel that makes BOLD positive self-declarations about themselves in the most stylish way possible.
RaShaunda has recently been featured on Bloomberg Newsweek, Black Enterprise, Yahoo! Finance, Marketplace and MarketWatch just to name a few. She is also a contributing author of Chantelle Adams book; “The Courage to Fly” which also features best selling authors Danielle LaPorte, Karen Salmansohn.
She’s also passionate about women’s mental health and is determined to debunk the false narrative that black women have to be strong all the time; and that our strength is measured & defined by the amount of pain that we can take. Her new mission is life is to free others from the stigma, judgment and shame that comes to those who struggle with things like depression, and anxiety.
You can find RaShaunda in the following online spaces: Facebook: www.facebook.com/statementteesandthings
Facebook Personal Profile: www.facebook.com/rashaundaf
Instagram: @statementteesandthings
RaShaunda also has a podcast COMING SOON called "Let's Talk About It. Conversations w/ The Girl Next Door." Follow her on social media to stay in the loop. RaShaunda's MOST Quotable Moment: “I don't measure my strength by the amount of pain I can take. My strength is based on me being able to say, 'I need help. I need a break. I need to replenish myself. I need to refill my cup'."
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Episode 003 of Get Naked LIVE™ features Maisha Hudson, recovering victimholic. In this powerful episode, she and I talk candidly about how she suffered from depression, which ultimately led to a suicide attempt. She also lets me in on how she moved from victim to survivor and what strategies she found most beneficial in processing anger.
Some of the episode's defining moments include:
Why Maisha thinks redefining the strong black woman is important in today's society How she personally defines the strong black woman How she's raising her daughter to be strong AND vulnerable How she lived her life for over twenty years not knowing how to be angry How internalizing her feelings almost killed her -- literally What she did when she finally realized that no one was coming to save her How she overcame depression and how she dealt with suicidal thoughts after the attempt
This episode is filled with so much goodness. Maisha really poured herself out in this episode. She gave us all of her -- no mask, no facade. She truly has no shame about the journey that got her from there to here.
ABOUT MAISHA Maisha is a recovering victimholic who believes in living life in the moment. She is a mom to five: four teenagers and an adult gift-daughter. Maisha has an associate's degree in psychology and is currently pursuing her bachelor's degree in business. In whatever spare time she can find, Maisha can be found dancing, meditating, or baking. If you want to follow Maisha in the online space, you do so via Facebook @Maisha Hudson.
Maisha's MOST Quotable Moment: "Your biggest strength is in your vulnerability. Strength does not come from sucking it up. Strength comes from allowing your walls to come down. The more vulnerable you allow yourself to be, the stronger you become."
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Episode 002 of Get Naked LIVE™ features Contessa Louise Cooper, Speaker, Writer, Advocate & Autism Mom. In this episode, Tessa and I chat it up about being an autism mom, how being "strong" took her to her breaking point, and how she now freely embraces EVERY emotion by being naked and unashamed. She goes on to say how important being vulnerable is to our emotional health. She also gives us a few strategies on how to stay in an emotionally healthy space when life is coming at you from every direction.
Some of the episode's defining moments include:
How Contessa thought giving birth to a child with autism was punishment for becoming a teen mom How her therapist ignored her pain and how she used that as motivation to heal herself How important forgiving yourself and others is to your emotional health How to effectively process your emotions and free yourself from negative self-talk using "naked meditation" The importance of self-care and how it's not just about manis, pedis, and massages The necessity of destigmatizing the words, STRONG BLACK WOMAN and you DO NOT want to miss here rapid fire questions at the end of the show
There is so much goodness in this episode. When I tell you Contessa Louise Cooper came to bring it!!! She CAME TO BRING IT! Contessa is NOT faking the funk!! She gets naked and makes no apologies for it! So, if you're ready to get on the naked and unashamed train and "get you some healing", this episode is for YOU.
ABOUT CONTESSA Contessa Louise Cooper is the unlikely advocate. Her rise to notoriety and influence is inspiring. Several years ago, she was an everyday consumer. She took an opportunity that changed her life forever. She kept journals, adding to the everyday experience of raising a family with an autistic son. She had just three days to turn her chronicles into a book.
She reflects a day in the life of being a single parent while challenging the educational resources available to autistic children. She pens every parent's love for a child of theirs while overcoming unique obstacles underestimating the support for children such as hers and others. Parents who have children with disabilities came to recognize Contessa as a resource aid and a champion.
Her first book, “Mad At The World: How To Move On And Find Peace When You're A Special Needs Parent” made it the top of the Amazon Best Sellers list. She is currently writing a Handbook to Modern Dating and Sex for individuals with High Functioning Autism and a Parent's Guide to assist with discussing sensitive topics.
You can find Contessa in the following online spaces: Website: www.contessalouise.com.
Facebook: fb.me/ContessaLouise
Twitter: @ContessaLouise Want to know what kind of strong black woman you are? Check out Tessa' s Strong Black Woman quiz HERE Also be sure to check out the Self Care Lounge for strong black women HERE. Self Care Lounge for Strong Black Women is a community for all women of color who are ready to focus on self-care, ask questions, share your journey and get what you need.
Tessa's MOST Quotable Moment:
“Instead of being your biggest cheerleader, you're your biggest hater. When you start replacing every negative thought with something positive, you'll learn to walk in the fullness of your power"
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Episode 001 of Get Naked LIVE™ features Chelsea Wallace, online business consultant and coach. In this role, Chelsea uses her story telling and copy writing skills to help women craft strategies to execute their online marketing campaigns. But, today she’s taking off her business hat and chatting it up with me about how guilt and shame keeps us from living our happiest lives and walking in our destines.
Some of the episode's defining moments include:
Why women are afraid to embrace their emotional nakedness and how guilt and shame play a role in that How guilt and shame keep us from fully enjoying life How she recovered from being cheated on and the shame that came with it The origin and generational curse of shame Making not-so-good choices and not going into hiding afterwards How to take the mask off after coming out of hiding Freeing yourself from those (people and things) causing you pain and shame How to begin processing and releasing the guilt and shame associated with bad choices How important it is to have a trusted individual to get naked with
As you can see, this episode is jammed packed with "liquid gold". Seriously, Chelsea was just pouring it out ALL OVER the place as she shared her thoughts (and personal experiences) on how unresolved guilt and shame keeps us from living and enjoying life to its fullest.
ABOUT CHELSEA Chelsea Wallace is an Online Business Consultant and Coach who helps women craft and execute their online marketing campaigns via copy writing, storytelling & 5-6 figure launches. She's on a mission to help women share their message of transformation with the world, and so far has served over 100 women, helping them generate over $250,000 revenue.
You can find Chelsea in the following online spaces: Website: www.thechelseawallace.com
Facebook: thechelseawall
Chelsea's MOST Quotable Moment: “The standard that we’re seeking is in the day to day breathing and living. The becoming is in the journey, not in the destination."
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Check out what's coming down the pipeline...
Get Naked LIVE Weekly panel discussions, Get Naked Bath, Body and Mind™ , Shades of STRONG™ multi-media campaign and docu-series COMING SOON. Like the Facebook Page to stay in the loop.
Welcome to Season one of Get Naked LIVE where we are redefining the STRONG BLACK WOMAN.
Get Naked LIVE is not your ordinary podcast. This is a global movement where women from all walks of life are boldly and fearlessly embracing their emotional nakedness.
We have finally found the courage to to take off tell society, religion, our family and friends that we are no longer going to let them tell us what being strong is. We have taken off the mask. We have ripped the S from our chest and we are defining strength on our own terms.
We’ve been labeled A LOT of things (bitter, angry, unemotional, EMOTIONAL, confrontational), but we are NOT who they say we are! WE ARE WHO WE ARE…
...and it’s time to STOP apologizing for it.
For more information, visit us online at getnakedlive.com or hi@getnakedlive.com