Psycholoshit - Talking Psychology & Sh*t: Recent Episodes
Sarah
Dr Sarah Alsawy-Davies (Specialist Clinical Psychologist, author, and business owner) is your host answering questions that you want to know the answer to! We talk all things related to life, the mind, our behaviours and how to get us in a better position to understand ourselves better and reach our goals. If you've got a question - I will try to answer it! Conversations range from anxiety, relationships, money, motivation, intelligence, unusual beliefs about the world, and everything in between! Inviting guests in different podcasts to help us get to the bottom of it all. We welcome you to tune in. Feel free to comment on the episodes and share with others. Send in your questions and we will get to it.
For entrepreneurs and business owners - sadly you'll experience friends and family being much less supportive of you compared with absolute strangers. But why is that? Why are strangers more likely to wave your flag than friends and family? Is it envy on their part? Is it them trying to protect you? Check out this episode!
Motherhood is exhausting - don't ask me to do things to 'self-care'. That just puts me in a place where I would be even lonelier. To all of you mothers who have experienced the pain and exhaustion of motherhood - your relationship with the village needs correcting!
Ever had this message? You can't afford.... money doesn't grow on trees... rich people are bad and selfish...
Well, here to dispute this and argue the contrary!
We all develop money traumas which makes our relationship with money a difficult one. Although it can feel scarce which makes it harder to acknowledge and feel comfortable with it, working on our money trauma can make it easier to find abundance of wealth.
Join me and listen to a young business woman, Coached by Em (Emilie) who has totally smashed it!
Ever dealt with a break up that felt so painful that you were begging for your ex to come back? Here we talk about why that is - break ups are never easy. We start to experience a loss of self, we grieve what once was and we see the relationship through rose tinted glasses. We ignore the facts that all relationships have both good and bad, and that's because we are coming from a place of heartache. We attach our self-worth to the relationship and start believing that if this relationship ended, we are not good enough for other people. Instead of experiencing this pain, what would it be like to focus in on the biggest relationship you have in life - that is the one with yourself? The more certain and confident we feel in our relationship with our self, the more stable we will be and realise we are complete with or without that partner.
Superstitious or not, people in the world believe in the unusual, supernatural, and that between planes. Part of this belief system is that some people believe that specially selected humans are able to predict the future. But why? And how? Here we discuss why do some people believe in psychics, does this give us hope or is this detrimental to humanity. Listen and share!
Here I am joined by Dr Abigail Methley as we talk about what drives us to be competitive and our personal journeys of being competitive in order to progress in life. We also question if it is possible for us to progress as far in life without being ruthless with our competitive streak. Listen and share!
I share my personal experiences of being pregnant, on an emotional and physical level. Pregnancy is a time filled with a range of different emotions and your body changes in so many ways. The thing that struck me most when pregnant is how challenging things are censored - it's almost as though there is a stigma around acknowledging the 'bad' pregnancy can be. Well, here I share the 'bad' without the BS attached. Listen and share!
We've all been there - where we need to have a difficult conversation with someone and it just feels overwhelming, daunting and frightening. It is often hard for us to figure out what we would like to say and for many of us, we skirt around the subject, doing many dances before we get to the point. This is in the hope we can make the conversation feel easier, that is if we ever have that conversation. The alternative is that we avoid the conversation entirely. Here we talk about how can we have a difficult conversation with someone to help us feel heard and have our point across, as well as maintaining emotional safety for both people involved. Listen and share!
Here I am joined by a good friend and teacher, Dieter, as we talk about how mental health is perceived in society at large and how we are educating people from a young age to be more aware of their emotions and mental health - all in the hope of promoting positive wellbeing. Listen and share!
Have you ever wondered where does the time go? You probably heard people saying "there aren't enough hours in the day" and we get overwhelmed that we have too much that we want to do with little time to do it in. Time slips away from us as we often are mindlessly procrastinate, doing things that are either unimportant. Alternatively, we can get dragged into doing things that feel urgent but do not necessarily feel fruitful for us. Instead of considering 'time management', we talk about 'priority management' to help us think about ways in which we use time to our advantage. Listen and share!
Ever been with someone and they just simply ignore you? Pretend like you don't exist and never existed? Well unfortunately that is a common experience in today's society where people get 'ghosted', even when they think that things have been going well in the new relationship! We talk about why that 'special someone' might ghost you and what does this mean about them - as more often than not this is a reflection of them (the 'ghoster'), not you. Listen and share!
Here we talk about the importance of taking and holding a compassionate stance when it comes to ourselves and other people. Having a compassionate attitude towards the self and others can help relieve emotional pain experienced with life e.g. depression, anxiety, and panic, as well as unhelpful ways of being e.g., self-critical, punitive, and perfectionistic. For many of us, we have grown up in a place where we might feel 'threat' is facing us whereever we turn - the threat may be in the form of avoiding bullying or negative judgement from others. This threat might also push us into being more 'driven' and we might do this by working hard to achieve well at school, getting that promotion, or having the perfect body/house/car. Being more compassionate can allow us to forgive ourselves, acknowledge the suffering we experience and embrace kindness to the self.
In this episode we talk about why people feel as though they are entitled to things in life like money, items, achievements, services etc. Entitlement is often seen as a negative thing though a lot of us do it, and more often than not we become enraged if we do not have our desires met. But are there times when entitlement can be helpful in promoting our self-worth? Listen and share!
I've definitely had times where I have thought I would be much more productive with my life and have the opportunity to do more things with my time if I didn't need to sleep. I used to love the idea of not needing to sleep just so I could 'get more done' and therefore, somehow be more successful in life. As I've grown older, I really enjoy sleep! Whether you like it or not, sleep is integral to our wellbeing on so many levels - it supports muscle reparation, consolidation of neural pathways, strengthening of concentration and memory, emotional regulation, problem solving skills, and hormonal balance whilst keeping illnesses at bay. That my friends, is why you should be getting an early night on a Friday (haha).
Ever paid attention to the way you speak to yourself? Perhaps we should be paying more attention to the tone of voice we use and the words we speak to ourselves. We often have commentary around things that we are doing, for example, "I can't believe I said that to my boss" or things we believe about ourselves, for instance, "I'm so stupid". We are constantly speaking to ourselves whether or not we are aware of it. We are so used to doing this, that it is an unconscious process - we just automatically engage in self-talk. Sadly, more often than not this self-talk is very critical and negative about ourselves. The issue is that we are constantly listening to ourselves too. We are the ones who are receiving these negative messages, but we are also the ones providing this negative message. The more we pay attention to the way we speak to ourselves the more we are able to shift our mindset - rather than seeing things as a challenge, we are able to create opportunities.
Addiction comes in all forms. The obvious addictions we usually refer to are drugs and alcohol, but in actuality pretty much anything can be an addictive substance and feel like a drug. I'm talking about buying clothes, gambling, gaming, exercise, dieting etc. These can all become drugs of sorts and all can become addictive, particularly if we cannot find a balance between what it is that we are addicted to and other important things in life. Joined by my partner in crime, he opens himself up to speaking about his experiences of being addicted to gaming. We talk all things leading to addiction but also how to escape the trap of addiction. Let me know what you think!
Addiction comes in all forms. The obvious addictions we usually refer to are drugs and alcohol, but in actuality pretty much anything can be an addictive substance and feel like a drug. I'm talking about buying clothes, gambling, gaming, exercise, dieting etc. These can all become drugs of sorts and all can become addictive, particularly if we cannot find a balance between what it is that we are addicted to and other important things in life. Joined by my partner in crime, he opens himself up to speaking about his experiences of being addicted to gaming. We talk all things leading to addiction but also how to escape the trap of addiction. Let me know what you think!
Is there such thing as a selfless good deed? Some of you guys might think this is a reflection of a 'once upon a time' Friends episode; but it actually brings up a really important psychological point. Are we able to do good things for other people without it affecting us in any way? Some of us might feel good after seeing the joy we have created for someone. However, there are situations whereby we might do something 'nice' for someone out of obligation, duty, and responsibility - and in such circumstances we feel forced to do the 'nice' thing (which by the way, might not seem so nice). So what's the deal? Are we able to completely detach from ourselves or our own responses when we have provided something charitable to someone? Even if we watch positive emotions passing through us, rather than attaching to these emotions, does this make it selfless?
All humans are born with the innate desire to form attachments with other people. Attachments are created based on our early life experiences and we carry these throughout life. These attachments form the basis of how we interact with the world, how we see other people, how we view ourselves, and what we believe about the future. Understanding ourselves and our attachment style can help us move forward in life in a healthy way.
All humans are born with the innate desire to form attachments with other people. Attachments are created based on our early life experiences and we carry these throughout life. These attachments form the basis of how we interact with the world, how we see other people, how we view ourselves, and what we believe about the future. Understanding ourselves and our attachment style can help us move forward in life in a healthy way.
All humans are born with the innate desire to form attachments with other people. Attachments are created based on our early life experiences and we carry these throughout life. These attachments form the basis of how we interact with the world, how we see other people, how we view ourselves, and what we believe about the future. Understanding ourselves and our attachment style can help us move forward in life in a healthy way.
Ever find yourself regretting something you said (or didn't say) to someone? Walking away from a conversation thinking, boy "I should have said x, y, and z to that...". Well communicating effectively and getting your point across can sometimes be really hard. Emotions get in the way, we might have cognitive biases or difficult thoughts that hinder us and what we want to say, or we might genuinely feel blocked on all accounts. Walking through the different communication styles we can recognise clear differences between being passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive. Which do you think is really the one to help you out in life? And how can you practice this? Check it out!
Broke? Or scared of growing broke? Or always finding it really hard to keep money that you have earned, that it feels like there is perpetual a hole in your pocket? Well, it's funny because as much as working hard and getting income is one of the obvious things to do that would support income and how much financial freedom you have - your mindset around money is so much more important. It is the psychology you have around money which will determine how much or how little you will end up having in your bank account. How you choose to view money comes from messages you have been taught or raised to believe, how you treat money, and what it is you allow to be in control over your life.
In this episode we talk about why we develop the feeling of anxiety. What causes anxiety in us and how are we biologically wired to experience this feeling of anxiety? Is it necessary? Or can we possibly live without it? When we think of anxiety we often think about how it hinders us, but I wonder whether there are times when it actually helps and protects us? Let's have a think...
More people than not experience some kind of pressure from their family. If you are one of these people - you are not alone. It can be absolutely exhausting being at the receiving end of this pressures and it's even harder when it is your family exerting this pressure on you - the ties involved in those relationships are much more pulling than in other situations. We talk about the different types of family pressures and how you may experience the feeling of guilt, blame, shame, inadequacy, and sibling rivalry. We also talk about how dysfunctional this can all become, leading to difficulties such as neurotic anxiety (something which I am unfortunately far too familiar with). Listen up and let me know what you think!
Anxious and stuck with this dreaded feeling? Anxiety can feel awful and can affect us in so many negative ways, making it harder to spend time with our friends or family, going outside, speaking to certain people. We also might feel sick to our stomachs, get frequent headaches, and our sleep cycle is thrown out of the window.
In this episode, I follow up from a couple of previous episodes ('Anxiety - but why' and 'Anxiety and its baseline'), talk about the core of anxiety, what creates anxiety and what keeps it going. More often than not, anxiety is maintained by our thoughts (whether these are conscious or subconscious beliefs), our emotions and our actions. Thinking these elements through, we try to find ways of breaking out of the trapping feeling of anxiety to make life just that bit easier.
Have you ever stopped to think, what is home? What does the concept of home mean to you? Sometimes it can be difficult to define and we only recognise 'what home is' when we have been far from it for a long time, that we have a yearning to return to that place that makes us feel safe and content. Just like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, I am joined by a good friend of mine who has traveled and lived all over the world to speak about what it is like for her to go back home.
It's amazing how music can transport you to a different place and time. Music can often be the key to our soul. It can help us express our internal experiences, our most intimate thoughts and emotions in ways that we sometimes couldn't otherwise find the words to do so. It gives us comfort and a sense of understanding. In another remit, our neurological pathways that connect to music are the ones most preserved and so it is an incredibly helpful tool for people with dementia. Either way, music and what it has done for humanity is amazing. Share your thoughts and let me know what you think!
Feel like you have 'always been a worrier' or that anxiety has just been a huge part of your life that you couldn't imagine what life was like without it? Or do you know someone who has struggled with always worrying? P.S. the worry may be about anything and everything. Take a listen to this episode. We think about our baseline of emotions - are we generally more prone to feeling anxious and stressed because we have a higher 'baseline' of distress? And if this is the case, how can we reduce such a heightened baseline? Let's consider these points together so that we find a way to breathe rather than the constant feeling of worry.
Joined in this episode by Dr Abigail Methley (Specialist Clinical Psychologist), we discuss the big question - are people getting more or less intelligent? We consider the impact that society has on our general human intelligence along with the progression of technology. For example, has the development of technology allowed us to become more intelligent as a human race or is it in fact hindering us in some way? Are schools really equipped to help children learn and do well in life, or are schools simply a prison for children where they learn the skill of 'doing as they are taught'? Check it out and share your thoughts with us!