Stages Podcast: Recent Episodes
Pete Heiniger
Trigger warning: death and loss
Shara shares an emotional clip with Pete where his health was very bad. They were in the hospital for hospice patients whose symptoms couldn't be managed at home. Shara also shares encouragement to others by answering the question, "How are you making it through this hard time?"
Shara discusses the emotions around Pete and Shara's eldest's wedding without Pete there.
Today's episode is the first podcast with just Shara, a year after Pete passed away on February 15th. She talks about things that you can do as a friend or family member of someone who is experiencing a difficult season.
In this episode, Pete explains all that he's learned with his different rounds and different types of chemotherapy. He gives us all three takeaways that we can keep in mind when we think about, talk about, or take on chemo.
In this episode, Pete tells about a turn in his treatment for the worse and how it affected him differently than previous treatments. This led to a serious need for rest and recovery and forced him to take a break from posting.
If you're a cancer fighter or caregiver for a cancer fighter, this episode will help you see the big picture of the journey that you're on.
Should we be so sensitive? Just because something triggers a memory of my traumatic journey, is that bad? Or, as a fighter, can I face that fear? And, if I let it, can that actually be healthy for me?
Some folks have claimed that Thor: Love and Thunder should have come with warnings because of graphic cancer treatment scenes. As a cancer fighter in the thick of it, I disagree.
Listen to Part 2 where Pete gives his perspective after watching the movie. He also shares how not only did he view these scenes as a cancer fighter, but as a son who lost his mother to metastatic melanoma of the liver.
Should we be so sensitive? Just because something triggers a memory of my traumatic journey, is that bad? Or, as a fighter, can I face that fear? And, if I let it, can that actually be healthy for me?
Some folks have claimed that Thor: Love and Thunder should have come with warnings because of graphic cancer treatment scenes. As a cancer fighter in the thick of it, I disagree.
In Part 1, I am going to get honest with you about things like confirmation bias when you fight cancer. I'm going to remind us all about judgment, ascribing motives, and more. I am also going to share how I think the movie has the potential of doing a lot of good.
Listen to Part 1, where I give you my perspective prior to seeing Thor: Love and Thunder. Then, tune in again for Part 2, where I will give you my fresh perspective after just having seen the movie to see if I've changed my mind and perspective.
Can I take a trip for vacation when I have cancer? How can you go camping while fighting cancer? Should you go on an excursion when you're in the midst of a cancer fight?
Pete discusses these questions from his usual "journey" perspective. He tells you mistakes he's made and successes while on his cancer fighting journey.
Stages always want to push you, the cancer fighter, to not allow cancer to take over your life. You can choose how much weight cancer has in your life and to a great extent limit its shadow.
In this Episode of Stages Podcast, Pete shares how he was inspired by a True Crime Drama that he and his wife have been watching on Hulu called Under the Banner of Heaven. He was inspired to dig deeper and ask some hard hitting questions of himself.
Am I still truly FIGHTING cancer or am I coping? Have I allowed myself to give up ground to cancer by growing complacent and settling into a routine? Can I hold myself accountable daily to several questions that determine if I am still in the fight? Am I fighting to truly LIVE?
What happens when you were convinced that cancer was in your rearview mirror and it comes back aggressively? What would be your response? Anger? Desperation? Hope?
Listen to Shara and Pete as they tell their personal response to that very thing. As always, Shara will tell her beautiful perspective as a Caregiver and Pete his perspective as a Cancer Fighter. Both of them know it is a fight that they're in: A Fight for Hope!
Did you know that cardio and weight resistance training are a great way to stay in the fight against cancer? But, what about after cancer surgery? Listen to Pete as he tells his experience coming out of two surgeries on his colon and liver and returning to the gym.
What can you do when cancer lingers? What can you do when you just can't shake "that feeling." ever? There's a part of cancer that is a cloud that can hang over you. You never feel quite done with it. Cancer lingers. Listen to Pete as he tells his experience with this and the daily practice he takes to deal with it.
Pete and Shara began 2022 knowing that they were headed into surgery. This surgery was to remove all cancer seen with the scans. This would involve surgical removal of some sections of Pete's liver as well as a resection of his colon.
Listen to both the perspective of the fighter and the caregiver as Pete and Shara recount their experience with this surgery.
As I get deeper into chemo rounds, what side effects will I encounter? What kind of pain will I experience? Will I throw up every time? My friend had it bad, but then the cancer went away, is that what I can expect?
It is tempting to compare and contrast your journey with others' journeys. Pete speaks to this near the end of this episode. You'll want to hear this! This will help you as a cancer fighter or as a caregiver.
This is an honest and raw discussion around the real symptoms and side effects of a chemotherapy journey. In this episode, Pete discusses in detail the side effects he encountered on his journey through chemo. He also tells you some things he learned that mitigate those challenges.
In this episode of Stages Podcast, Pete encourages us through focusing on the healthcare team that will surround us. Pete: "Your nurses, pharmacists, doctors, oncologists, all your healthcare workers are heroes and they will become like family."
But, it is a two sided deal. We as cancer fighters need to talk and share our lives with them. They face cancer every day and work ungodly hours to help each of us experience the least amount of pain and suffering that we can. They are tireless in their care for you. They have become some of the best friends that I have in life.
Just prior to his first day of treatment, Pete had so many questions still: Will I be having chemo on a hospital bed in my own private room? Will I experience any side effects while I'm receiving chemo? If so, how quickly? What is infusion? How is chemotherapy administered? Can I bring someone with me into chemo for support? How long is the procedure?
Pete had these questions and many more before Round #1 of Chemotherapy. Listen as he tells you his journey through that first round in the hospital and what he learned.
Pete had just been diagnosed with cancer and he's starting chemo for the first time. His head was swirling with questions: What is chemotherapy like? What should I know going into my first round? Is chemo the same for everyone or are there different types? Does everyone lose their hair during chemo? Result: I'm scared.
These were only the beginning of questions Pete had before going through his first round of chemotherapy. In this episode of Stages Podcast, Pete begins to tell his journey through chemo and answer these questions and more.
How will I feel after radiation? What side effects does radiation have?
Much of the fear that we have around radiation treatment is based on what we believe the answers to those questions are.
In this post, Pete honestly describes his journey through recovery and how he felt. It was a battle and it wasn't easy. Each person's journey can vary, but this is Pete's journey.
What is the actual radiation procedure like? Do you feel any pain during the actual treatment session? What should I or my loved one be prepared for?
Again, if this is our first experience with radiation, we can go to dark places in our thoughts as to how bad this is going to be. Assuredly, radiation is not a picnic. Simply put, when we're fighting a life threatening disease, often our battle options are deadly as well, because we're trying to kill cancer. It is a war.
Yet, we must avoid throwing our hands up and expecting apocalyptic pain. Cancer treatments have come a long way since our parents and grandparents experienced them. The actual procedure might surprise you...in a good way.
Listen as Pete tells his journey through his radiation experience and what the treatment sessions were really like.
Timing Matters. When you discuss radiation with your oncology team for the first time, you will learn that timing is everything. So, there are a few variables to consider with your team before you can decide to pull the trigger on radiation.
Listen as Pete discusses his experience deciding with his cancer team when to move forward with radiation and all that they had to take into account to land on a date. This was a very difficult decision to arrive at because each treatment choice poses a risk to other treatments.
So many of us have misconceptions about radiation based on past experiences from several years ago to what we conjure up in our minds. This is often because we have heard bits and pieces of stories around radiation and we've developed our own mythology on what it is and what it is like to go through.
Track Pete's journey through radiation as he walks us through each step of his treatment.
Our minds can assign images and ideas to radiation: "Ride the Lightning" was a description Pete conjured up. He thought it would radiation would bring burning, sizzling, extreme pain, and sickness in one of the most sensitive parts of his body.
He found out that I was wrong and right on some things, but that his entire idea of what radiation was...was way off!
In this episode, we relate to Kate Bowler's telling of how she had to admit that she did not how to do this: Live with life as a chronic condition.
She gives this beautiful illustration of hikers on the Appalachian Trail and the advice she was given by them that really helped her.
Shara (Pete's wife and caregiver) and Pete (cancer fighter) share their very fresh (this week) experience with uncertainty and a climbing cancer number even when radiation was to reduce that number significantly. Dealing with life as a chronic condition is daily and they share how we can do so by laying things down, giving them up, and as a result allowing themselves to be...human.
The self-help and prosperity gospel culture of our day often leads us to toxic positivity. Toxic Positivity is when we feel we must turn everything we are going through into a positive. Often this approach is aided with some system of trying to will positivity into being. But, when you've been diagnosed with cancer, or you are a care giver fighting alongside your fighter, it is so important that we allow ourselves to be human. It is okay to be angry, it is okay to feel depressed and defeated, it is okay to be confused about life...in fact, it is not just okay - it is HUMAN. It's also okay to accept the fact that there's a strong percentage chance that you might die of the disease you have and rather than try to mask the pain that causes you because of the deep, beautiful relationships you have, you can accept your own mortality and then, in faith, find your crew of loved ones and all push for hope despite that reality. Hope is one thing that can be present in your anger, in your fear, in your sadness. It's not positivity. It's not spinning it the right way. Hope is looking at our Father and completely giving him everything. You don't have to sort it, understand it, love it, jump up and down about it...just be human...that's how he made you and that's how he loves you.
Listen to Shara Heiniger (caregiver) and Pete Heiniger (cancer fighter) as they further discuss good communication strategies for a cancer journey.
So many times caregivers are motivated out of a love for the cancer fighter and a strong desire to help and serve. They often will take on some duties that use to fall on the cancer fighter. But, what often happens is the cancer fighter can see this not as help, but they translate is as they are helpless or useless.
As is the case in most things, neither party is wrong in what they are feeling and doing. Listen and hear how Shara and Pete learned how to work through this common "first" on their cancer journey.
We’re pumped because this is our #2 Podcast for Stages! Where we’re working hard to not only be a voice for cancer fighters, but also add the perspective of the spouse and caregiver.
This week, as promised, we want to launch into a few episodes called “She Said...He Heard.”
**So, our subject is really communication! Wow, I know in our cancer journey, our communication had to change substantially. Not just from how we communicated, but also away from some of the “encouraged” ways of communication by professionals who counsel couples.
Honesty is important in relationship, but when you start a cancer journey, then the cancer fighter and his/her spouse or loved one often have to stretch that a bit. Sometimes it all depends on timing. When you 'tell all" matters.**
This is our very first Stages Podcast episode and we’re pretty excited about it. I am excited, because I believe it adds a perspective that is often overlooked. We can hear a lot about cancer fighters and chemo and the battle, but we don’t often hear from the caregivers side of things.
Caregivers face their own battle that is part fighting alongside their spouse or loved one, but it’s also staring their own elephants down that are different than the ones a cancer fighter like myself faces. So, I’m excited for you to hear Shara’s (a caregiver and spouse of a cancer fighter) perspective as well.