Domestic Abuse Recovery Journal: Recent Episodes
Jennifer Mixon
A show dedicated to those who think they may be living in or are recovering from domestic abuse /narcissistic/ antisocial abuse. A soft approach that teaches the importance of self worth. Domestic abuse is defined as any pattern of behavior in a relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Abuse is psychological, physical, sexual, and sometimes financial. Behaviors that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, or wound are abusive. More supportive content @rn_jenm on Instagram.
This episode features Dr. Vecchione Finneran giving tips and a better understanding of what chronic toxic stress is. Ways to help yourself when burnt out.
This episode covers finding courage deep within and how to over come feeling defeated in the face of rejection and maltreatment. Ambivalence with feeling scared and loved and safe all at the same time from care takers and partners is also covered.
This episode focuses on unknowingly using the abuse cycle and being attracted to emotionally unavailable people as a soothing mechanism for our nervous system. When safe still doesn’t feel safe and absent betrayal confirmation still feels scary. Goals of being patient with our process and becoming more securely attached are also covered. For R.
This episode covers the damaging effects of chronic gaslighting, manipulation, blame shifting, and how to overcome them in arguments. Identity crisis and being psychologically programmed to believe jealousy and obsession equate to security are also covered. For KRS❤️
This episode covers development of grandiosity within a narcissistic personality. Signs of someone living in an “ideal” version of reality and why it’s impossible to have a healthy/ functional relationship with them. Education on NPD pathology helping partners to release responsibility for the painful dynamic they are experiencing.
This episode covers helpful ways to reframe distorted versions of holidays and memories we remember while we are sad and struggling. How to snap out of it and come back to your inner peace. Happy Fourth of July! ❤️
This episode discusses the 3 phases of the narcissistic abuse cycle in depth. The psychological effects of being idealized by a partner suffering from NPD. The lasting self blame patterns we develop following idealization are explained.
This episode discusses the neurobiological changes that happen in the brain after/ during trauma. How heightened emotional response develops over time and why. Feeling numb and under responsiveness is also covered.
This episode focuses on some long term effects of being with a narcissistic partner who expects perfection all of the time. Deep rooted cognitive distortions that occur after being abused are discussed.
365 days abuse free. An open letter to his past and future victims. This is not the ending the the happiest version of your life. You are a survivor. XO Jen
This episode covers attachment and it’s connection to safety. Thoughts on the amount of time needed before dating again after abuse, and what we’re really looking for are discussed. The grieving process & triggers while in a new relationship are also covered.
This episode focuses on literature explaining how the brain specializes and creates different defense mechanisms for survival. Treating our triggers and traumatized nervous system with compassion- thanking the parts of ourselves that once kept us alive, and recognizing the need to soothe those alarms in non-threatening moments. Author and title included in episode.
Trigger warning, intimate partner violence is discussed. I’m not ashamed- I’m a survivor. Psychopathy is defined as a mental (antisocial) disorder in which an individual manifests amoral and antisocial behavior, shows a lack of ability to love or establish meaningful personal relationships, expresses extreme egocentricity, and demonstrates a failure to learn from experience and other behaviors associated with the condition. Source: C.S. Neumann, ... H. Lasslett, in Encyclopedia of Mental Health (Second Edition), 2016
This episode features Dr. Michelle Finneran discussing why abusive patterns are repeated through generational trauma and how the mother/ daughter dynamic effects us when our mom suffers from abuse in front of us growing up. Individualization from family origin and being the cycle breaker is also discussed. For K & M❤️
This episode covers abandonment wounds and learning how to cope with the uncomfortable experience during attachment developing. Leaning into healthy even though it’s scary. Learning to heal intrusive feelings and thoughts around a parent dying being your fault.
“There’s no use in going back to yesterday, I was a different person then”10,000 listens later….now what?
This episode discusses re-activation of negative inner dialogue, working through emotions and hurt feelings with a new partner after abuse, and self worth being a constant work in progress that needs upkeep. Staying present during panic and anxiety is also covered.
This episode covers sorting out the difference between insecurity and being in a relationship that has become insecure versus secure. The difference between not having self worth and being treated as though you are not worthy. Unhealthy jealous feelings versus boundaries being violated. Working through decision making and hurt feelings after betrayal of trust. How insecure relationships can cause you to lose your sense of self, and how to start gaining it back.
This is a part two to the previous episode I released that discusses painful wounds that can happen when trust is broken. How to pick yourself back up, and why it’s important not to give up on love. Emotional wound care for a broken heart. For D❤️
I recorded this and almost didn’t release it. But I think it’s relatable and I feel woman going through this need someone to be vulnerable enough to speak for all of us suffering in silence. I won’t always feel this bad, I’ve climbed my way out of dark places before, but I’ve had to a lot and I’m tired of women being told we’re too sensitive, we are over reacting, or we need to get over it. So I decided to be raw for one night of my life and just say it the way it is. Somebody needs to. I refuse to accept this treatment as normal, I’m done putting up with treatment from partners that make me feel toxic towards myself. I will not blame myself anymore. I hope you don’t either❤️
Dr. Finneran, psychotherapist drops in as guest speaker to talk about Stockholm Syndrome, trauma bonding, getting proper support, and healing after abuse. Avoiding re-engaging in another abusive dynamic is also discussed.
This episode covers idealization and devaluation stages narcissistic partners put us through. Recovering from it and fearfulness that comes after. Pros and cons of feeling numb versus embracing sensitivity is discussed. Using a soft heart for the better instead of feeling resentful of feeling a lot is also covered. For A❤️
This episode covers the state of mind we get stuck in after idealization and devaluation stages of narcissistic abuse. The effects on a woman’s mind after being subjected to constantly trying to keep up with unrealistic standards. Tips on over coming challenges in recovery related to body image, fear of intimacy, and somatic symptoms during flash backs are also discussed. For A❤️
This episode focuses on how gaslighting works, what it does psychologically to victims, and the hyper vigilance we develop as a skill to protect ourselves through abuse. Self sabotage and impulsiveness is also discussed. Ideas on how to work through this and stay grounded are included.
This episode focuses on the different stages of leaving an abuser. How to grow strength to get through withdrawals, things you’ll need within your support system, and learning how to love yourself again are discussed.
This episode focuses on security versus unhealthy intensity. Feeling emotionally regulated after a life of adrenaline chasing and sleep being correlated to fearfulness after abuse. What sleeping safely feels like in recovery after fighting so hard to feel like you again, and feeling secure attachment.
This episode focuses on gaining insight into how abusers use pity, guilt, and blame shifting to distract us from their hurtful behavior. Description of how we get to a point where we feel like we are the abusive partner, and chronically believe we are the cause and are responsible for the pain we experience with an abusive partner. How to trust yourself again, and the self forgiveness felt when you finally know for sure….It’s not me. It’s you.
This episode covers being aware of one’s feelings and needs within a relationship. Early signs that someone may not be a person who will provide you emotional safety. Creating a road map before taking the trip with someone new. Dating after abuse is discussed. Dedicated to my person ❤️
This episode discusses shifts in mind set during dating after an abusive relationship has ended. Being triggered, fight or flight response, and how to talk your self down and decide if you’re upset with new guy, or if it’s left overs from Voldemort. Should I really be putting my nikes on right now to run? Being transparent with new partners is also discussed.
This episode focuses on the trauma bond formed from triangulation. How continuous cheating creates intermittent wounding and the effects of the “reuniting” stage. Abuser’s tactics to keep the victim in the relationship, blame shifting, and gas lighting are also discussed.
This episode discusses what it feels like to leave psychologically when you’ve left an abuser physically. What it feels like to be completely done. What it feels like to be free. What it feels like to be me again.
This episode focuses on the long standing issue of abuse not being addressed in the world. Thoughts on how to respond to someone who doesn’t think you’ll be able to do anything about the silent issue that causes so many people to not fully live their life to full capacity. Contemplating pros and cons of taking legal action is also discussed.
This episode isn’t really about anything other than me providing explanation of how it feels to have to make a police report and ask for help. And the kind of people in the world who make things like this more bearable. For Tim and Jimmy.
This episode discusses codependency recovery, psychological make up of character, personal boundaries, coping skills for going no contact, and why courage in the face of fear prevails.
Why do I miss someone who hurts me so much? Why we romanticize our abusive relationship. Effects of childhood trauma, attachment style, and why we associate love with unhealthy things.
This episode focuses on taking ownership of one’s struggles and actions in the recovery process. Trying to stuff things down inside and drown out traumatic memories and feelings does not work. Being in the “I don’t know what else to try” stage.
This episode focuses on the progression of developing healthy self confidence, setting goals in healing, lowering anxiety and depression, and the 4 stages of healing from abuse: recognize, accept, rise above, model. How to reframe blame and navigate forgiveness safely. A crash course in how to feel better.
This episode covers what to do with the hope survivors carry that their abuser will change or “get better”. Getting back together is never an option in recovery, but a new chapter in forgiveness and being at peace can be. Where to place your hope and what the new version of a happy ending may look like. What to say when reconciliation is brought up.
This episode discusses the power of self validation, not needing outside validation from friends or partners, self worth, insight, and education on crazy making. How to take life inventory and make positive changes for yourself. Dating to learn and grow versus dating to fill a void is also discussed.
This episode focuses on transitioning back into optimism around falling in love again, and trusting yourself enough to find the right life partner. The shift you feel after completely letting go of the fear and pain you associate with love after being abused.
This episode is focused on knowing who you are and being free of self doubt during interaction with toxic behavior and environments. Focusing on the difference between living in a state of confusion and fear from experiencing gaslighting and manipulation, compared to a state of inner peace and being grounded. How to not let anyone take away your inner light again. Being in the acceptance stage of grief.
Dealing with anxiety, a mean negative inner voice, and overcoming attacking ourselves. How to look at mental health symptoms in a new way without feeling less than or labeled. Leaving unhealthy coping behind.
Depression, chronic stress, and feelings of worthlessness are discussed. Ways to develop body positivity and combat identifying with being “the fixer” within a dysfunctional relationship.
This episode covers Learning to love spending time with yourself again after trauma bonding, control, and brain washing. Gaining trust in yourself back after feeling like you can’t ever do anything right. Learning how much environmental factors and life style contribute to recovery and a happy life.
This episode covers the value in the ability to identify feelings of emotional safety versus feeling unsafe in a relationship, using the rational mind and the emotional mind together, and developing personal boundaries.
This episode covers red flags of abusive partners, how the cycle of abuse works, how to stay out of it. Special guest Steve McCrea, MS who is an author and domestic violence educator shares helpful tactics for staying away from abusers and how they develop an emotional hold in the first place.
Attempts to resolve childhood trauma through romantic relationships in adulthood. Skills for developing self-compassion and healing childhood wounds through timeline analysis. This episode is dedicated to my little sunshines, Aubrey and Maggie.
Feelings of wanting to kill the part of ourselves that still loves them so we don’t re-engage in the relationship. Goals for finding inner peace instead, ending self shame, and starting to let love in again.
Special guest speaker on her personal survival journey with a New York fire fighter, her abusive partner of 16 years, and her recovery advice. Gas lighting and dual nature are discussed.
The uncomfortable feelings during growth and healing. Why it’s worth it to be uncomfortable for a while and not go back! This episode is dedicated to my beautiful God Mom, Natalie.