Kelli Confidential: Negotiation Essentials Empowering Extraordinary Women : Recent Episodes
Kelli Wilks
Smart, scrappy, and with a dash of sass. Say goodbye to apologetic ambition, overworked careers, and less pay. Now is the time to step into your fierce, amazing, unstoppable self! My mission is to help women charge forward confidently, with purpose, to multiply their income, achieve capital wealth, build or buy companies, improve their relationships, and experience true gender parity in this lifetime (and NOT leave this for our daughters). How? One deal at a time. Join our mail list www.kelliconfidential.com to hear about our next course dates!
What if your belief system was so deeply wired to a frequency of “incapable or incompetent, or not good enough” that you gave-up early in the fight - or worse - you didn’t even try?
Women who have internalised subconscious beliefs that they are "no good" at math, or that they lack numerical or technical skills are largely taught this belief system, one that blossoms with age into something so fundamentally flawed in their identity that most can't see past the conditioned "deficiency", ultimately perpetuating women's avoidance of careers in business, science, or math.
Current research by the OECD and the UN shows us year-on-year the double-digit academic delta between boys and girls that forks in grade school and, for most countries, never recovers. And this avoidant behaviour means also that women often lose out on opportunities for advancement and higher compensation in their chosen careers at the same pace as their male counterparts simply because they have subscribed to dated/gendered belief systems where being 'nice' - or being in service to others - is better and carries more worth than the qualities instilled in boys (of being competitive, ambitious, technically able).
Does this sound familiar? You're not alone. This is a known psychological phenomena called 'Learned Helplessness', and we're covering that in today's episode together with six strategies to tackle it. Let's jump in!
**Citations and Resources: ✨ ✨
✅** Classroom video example: Nixon, Charisse Ph.D Developmental Psychologist at Penn State Erie.Nov 2007. https://youtu.be/gFmFOmprTt0?si=KAFhTy3yRxGd6d3L.
✅ Abramson, L. Y., Seligman, M. E. P., & Teasdale, J. D. (1978). Learned helplessness in humans: Critique and reformulation. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 87(1), 49-74. https://doi.org/10.1037/0021-843X.87.1.49
✅ Facing History and Ourselves. "Why Must We Remember the Holocaust? Because Democracy Is Precious." Facing Today, 27 Jan. 2023. Online. facingtoday.facinghistory.org/why-must-we-remember-the-holocaust-because-democracy-is-precious.
✅ Dweck, C. S., & Reppucci, N. D. (1973). Learned helplessness and reinforcement responsibility in children. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 25(1), 109-116. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0034248
✅ Hennessey, Bridget. "The Effect of Vicarious Learned Helplessness on Critical Thinking." Mako: NSU Undergraduate Student Journal, vol. 1, no. 1, 2007, Online. https://nsuworks.nova.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1003&context=mako.
✅ Maier, Steven F., and Martin E. P. Seligman. "Learned Helplessness: Theory and Evidence." Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, vol. 105, no. 1, 1976, pp. 3–46, ppc.sas.upenn.edu/sites/default/files/lhtheoryevidence.pdf.
✅ Maier, Steven F., and Martin E. P. Seligman. "Learned Helplessness at Fifty: Insights from Neuroscience." Psychological Review, vol. 123, no. 4, 2016, pp. 349–367, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4920136/.
✅ McLeod, Saul. "Learned Helplessness." Simply Psychology, 17 Feb. 2023, www.simplypsychology.org/learned-helplessness.html.
✅ National Lottery Statistics:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lottery_jackpot_records
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course! www.kelliconfidential.com
McKinsey and CNN both reported between 2022 and 2023 that the number of women in C-suite and executive roles in the United States dropped (that’s right, contracted) for the first time in over two decades.
So what's going on? Numerous data points have come out showing that women may not be getting what they need in modern, corporate roles. Certainly, for many organisations, the female representation isn’t there. It may be also that women don’t want to wait for the rare opportunity for a man to move out of a leadership post in the hopes that she may get it (despite her chances being 75% in favour of her male colleague).
Or it may be that following COVID many women – and men – questioned why they were enduring a bully, demeaning or difficult boss at work.
Many people, million and millions, like their job and don't want to start over. So how do you deal with a difficult boss?
On the show today, we're answering that question and showing these steps taken together may help you to reset the relationship with your boss:
- Understanding your Employee Rights (grab my Chat GPT swipe file below)
- Understanding Who You’re Dealing With – What’s their Negotiation Style.
- Check What Your Job is Really Doing For You (self-survey); and
- Making The Decision to Engage.
Citations & Resources🌟 🌟
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Fisher, Roger and William Ury. “Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In.” Penguin Books. 3 May 2011. Available on Amazon.
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Sinek, Simon. “Start With Why”. Penguin Random House publishers. 2009. Available on Amazon.
**Grab My Swipe Files: 💡💡
👉** What's Your Negotiation Style
👉 Chat GPT Prompt for Harvesting Your Employee Rights
Online Articles:
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"Gender pay gap remained stable over past 20 years in US." Pew Research Center. 1 March 2023. Online.
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“Share of women in C-suite roles falls for first time in two decades, study finds”. Sahadi, Jeanne. 5 April 2024. CNN online.
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“Women in The Workplace” McKinsey online. Oct. 2023. Online.
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"Managing the Next Decade of Women’s Wealth." BCG, www.bcg.com. Accessed June 16, 2024.
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"Women entrepreneurs fuel business growth - new survey." World Economic Forum, www.weforum.org. Accessed June 16, 2024.
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"Women entrepreneurship is soaring in the US, a new survey finds." World Economic Forum, www.weforum.org. Accessed June 16, 2024.
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course! www.kelliconfidential.com
We all have off days. Some are bigger for others. Take Olympic athletes for example, their off days could cost them a chance at Olympic dreams and also future careers in sport. Pretty big stakes. So it's not a surprise to know that so many elite athletes and now CEO's and business leaders have turned to visualisation and other remedies to manage self doubt. Why? Because these techniques work.
And the same is true of preparing for any important conversation or negotiation. So join me today as I take you through my five road-tested techniques for managing self-doubt and maintaining forward motion. Ready? Let's jump in!
Citations and Resources: ✨✨
Fisher, Roger and William Ury. “Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In.” Penguin Books. 3 May 2011. Available on Amazon.
Thomas, Louisa. “What Makes Katie Ledecky Great” 28 July 2024. The New Yorker Magazine. https://www.newyorker.com/sports/sporting-scene/what-makes-katie-ledecky-great
Poirier-Leroy, Olivier. “7 Olympic Swimmers Who Use Visualization”. Online 16 January 2021. https://swimswam.com/7-olympic-swimmers-who-use-visualization/
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course! www.kelliconfidential.com
There’s no denying that ambition is a vital ingredient in a person’s professional toolkit. But what is ambition without execution? Well, it’s just remains an idea really.
In this week’s episode we’re talking about ambition and that it’s not enough to have it without follow-through. And it’s even worse to be ambitious if your execution is well, rubbish, because then you’re just wasting your own time along with your audience
In a society where we’re bombarded with data and ideas and chasing the next great innovation, ambitions come and go like the seasons of the year and an idea without follow-through is an easy lure when people are really passionate about it. But your credibility as a leader hinges on the follow-through far more than your ambition for whatever that dream was.
The same is true of deal-making. Success is all about the plan and the follow-through. And in this show I’m taking you from idea to agreement. Here are a few of the highlights we cover:
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Getting clear on your purpose
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Planning for different negotiation styles (yours and theirs)
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Building rapport and trust
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Navigating objections and intransigence
Citations and Resources:
🌟🚀 Link to my free Tradeables Guide:
https://the-deal-academy.ck.page/8e6af85780
✅ Fisher, Roger & William Ury. “Getting to Yes: Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In”. Random House publishers. London. 2012 Available on Amazon
✅ Kohlrieser, George. “Hostage at the Table: How Leaders can Overcome Conflict, Influence Others and Raise Performance”. Jossey Bass Publishers. San Francisco. 2006. Available on Amazon.
✅ World Economic Forum: “Global Gender Gap 2024 Report”. Online 11 June 2024. https://www.weforum.org/publications/global-gender-gap-report-2024/digest/
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course! www.kelliconfidential.com
According to a 2023 study, more than half of consumers (53% according to this report) will cut spending with that provider after a SINGLE bad experience - that's right - no second chances, they simply won’t go back. The study was conducted across 23 countries and 23,000 consumers and it estimated that poor customer service amounted to $4.7trillion in lost revenues globally (where the customer simply decided not to buy that product or service again. That’s sobering if ever there was a statistic you want to remember.
Why am I talking about this and what, Kel, does this have to do with negotiation?
Stewardship and service to others. Plain and simple.
I talk about both of those topics regularly - as these should be your goals every time - whether in deal-making or when running a business. Showing that the other person matters, that you value them in that exchange, will pay dividends every time. Need more convincing? Let's jump in to hear some other statistics.
Citations and Resources: ✨ ✨
✅ “America’s Best Customer Service: 2024”. Newsweek. Online. April 2024. https://www.newsweek.com/rankings/americas-best-customer-service-2024
✅ Khoros Research Team. "Must-Know Customer Service Statistics of 2023." Khoros, 2023. https://khoros.com/resources/customer-service-statistics
✅ Morgan, Blake. “15 Stats about Post-Covid Customer Service”. Forbes. Online. 15 March 2022. https://www.forbes.com/sites/blakemorgan/2022/03/15/15-stats-about-post-covid-customer-service/
✅ Nextiva Research Team. "100+ Essential Customer Service Statistics & Trends for 2024." Nextiva, 2024. https://www.nextiva.com/blog/customer-service-statistics.html
✅ Petersen, Tyler. "Poor Customer Service Threatens $4.7 Trillion in Annual Revenue Globally." Business Wire, 2023.
https://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20211115005083/en/Poor-Customer-Service-Threatens-4.7-Trillion-in-Annual-Revenue-Globally-as-Companies-Struggle-to-Retain-Staff
✅ Zippia Research Team. "28 Critical Customer Retention Statistics [2023]." Zippia, 2023. https://www.zippia.com/research/customer-retention-statistics/
Recommended Books: 📕
Blanchard, Ken and Sheldon Bowles. “Raving Fans”. Jossey Bass Publishers. 1 Jan 1996. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Raving-Fans-Ken-Blanchard/dp/0688123163/ref=sr_1_2?crid=19TCE3VXKVG0Y&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.SZf2xKmlCW73rw_-haamHKXeMGf
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course! www.kelliconfidential.com
You only get one chance at a good first impression, right? I went hunting for a funny quote about first impressions (because I generally believe outside of the person's clothing we have next-to-zero information to go on in that very first meeting), and I was bombarded with a catalogue of very unoriginal quotes by quite famous people all extolling the benefits of making a great first impression. But experience shows this is not true - and that assumptions can lead to - well, we know where those lead.
Here's a quote that I felt more aligned with the point of my show today, by someone whose works remain wise and quite relevant in today's overly connected and "disconnected" world: "First impressions are always unreliable" - Franz Kafka.
In today's episode we're exploring the gesture patterns and pitfalls of getting it wrong when reading body language. That's it. No extra fanfare. What you see is what you get in this show. Enjoy!
Citations and Resources: ✨✨
✅ Jennings, Karla. “Essential Body Language for Negotiation”. Lifehack. Online. 28 Feb 2022. https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/essential-body-language-for-negotiation.html
✅ Harvard Business School. “Using Bod Language in Negotiation”. Online. 330 Mar 2024. https://www.pon.harvard.edu/daily/negotiation-skills-daily/negotiation-techniques-and-body-language-body-language-negotiation-examples-in-real-life/
✅ Nasher, Jack. “How to Negotiate via Email”. Forbes. Online. 4 June 2020. https://www.forbes.com/sites/jacknasher/2020/06/04/how-to-negotiate-via-email/?sh=282faa0e5145
✅ Driver, Janine. “You Are Saying More Than You Think”. United States. Three Rivers Press. 2010
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course! www.kelliconfidential.com
What’s one of your most joyful childhood memories? For me, it was the weekends camping in the Colorado Rockies, foraging for wild raspberries, climbing boulders, playing in the creek beyond our campsite – tadpole catching, cool water on our bare toes, my sister and I gathering sparkly rocks that we were sure contained gold and diamonds.
And according to Anna Neubert-Wood, founder of WanderWomen Scotland – we’re not alone - as many published studies have shown that people’s childhood memories of being outdoors are among the fondest and most revered. Why is that? The research says it’s the extra sensory input – the combination of sights, sounds, touch, temperatures creating that immersive experience leaving an indelible mark of joy for many.
But in this post COVID world where work life, shopping, banking, learning and so many previously social activities turned to technology, people have become less and less connected and more technology dependent. For busy leaders and entrepreneurs, this is especially the case and it can be a major factor in burnout and feelings of overwhelm.
Enter the award-winning wonders of WanderWomen Scotland where they do things that are so simple yet so genius specifically helping women to find space, peace and joy - crucial ingredients for maintaining relevance and resiliency as a leader. You're gonna want to hear this one! 🎉
Connect With Anna: 🌟🌟
Wander Women Scotland: https://wander-women.co.uk/
Facebook - www.facebook.com/wanderwomenscotland
LinkedIn - www.linkedin.com/company/wanderwomen-scotland
Instagram - www.instagram.com/wanderwomenscot (not a typo)
Citations & Resources:
👉Castillo, Michelle. “Researchers warn kids don’t get enough outdoor playtime”. CBS News. Online. 3 April 2012 https://www.cbsnews.com/news/researchers-warn-kids-dont-get-enough-outdoor-playtime/
👉Chunya Zhang, Xiao Ma, and Liping Liu. “The Effect of Passion for Outdoor Activities on Employee Well-being…”. National Library of Medicine. Online. 4 December 2023. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10709103/
👉Fisher, Jane. “Beyond mental health, how being outside can boost your business”. Institute of Directors. Online. 10 June 2023. https://www.iod.com/resources/mental-health/nature-and-mental-health-benefits-of-being-outside/
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course! www.kelliconfidential.com
People are emotional. They're not rational in the first moment. And logic comes later as a condition of our environment. And yet, high emotions play out all the time in important deal-making, and it can dramatically alter outcomes of those negotiations. But, it's not about ignoring your emotions. So, what then? This is why it's in my Top 10 list.
And item number 10? You're not going to want to miss that one!
And remember, these can be applied anywhere – buying a car, buying a house, buying a company! And certainly you should be trying these out - flexing your negotiation muscles - in your everyday life and interpersonal relationships. So drop me some comments and let me know how you get on.
Want to know more? Let's jump in!
Citations and Resources 🌟 🌟
Chandel, Vedant. Sportskeeda. "How Venus and Serena Williams' First Endorsement Deals Proved to be Game-Changing". Online. 6 Dec 2021 https://www.sportskeeda.com/tennis/how-venus-serena-williams-first-endorsement-deals-proved-game-changers
Fisher, Roger and William Ury. “Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In.” Penguin Books. 3 May 2011. Available on Amazon
Herenda, Devin. Buzzfeed. "Celebrities Who Said No To Endorsements" Buzzfeed: Online 7 May 2022 https://www.buzzfeed.com/devinherenda/celebs-who-said-no-to-endorsements-or-commercials
✅ See where it all started! Kelli Confidential - Episode 1: Houston We Have Lift-off: https://www.kelliconfidential.com/podcast/episode/794b4f11/episode-1-houston-we-have-liftoff-welcome-to-the-show
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course! www.kelliconfidential.com
"For me, mediation is about gaining another, deeper understanding of why the situation has occurred and a respect for the differences from each other. " We must first respect the reason for the dispute - and their differences - before we can attempt to show empathy or bridge harmony. - Monica Hanaway.
On the show today we're speaking with Monica Hanaway about the role of culture in mediation. In this episode, Monica shares with us some thought provoking stories as we explore the many types of culture - beyond a person's heritage - and its significance in how effectively a mediator or negotiator approaches conflict.
It's a must listen for any mediator or business leader looking to go beyond the surface-level agreement to secure lasting accord in their negotiations.
Monica Hanaway is an accredited mediator, author, senior lecturer, Existential leadership coach and trainer. When not seeing clients in her private practice, or enjoying time with her family in Oxfordshire, Monica is usually mediating, writing or speaking at international conflict management forums. And together with her business partner Diana Mitchell, M&D Associates have taught Advanced Mediation in Singapore, Romania, Latvia, South Africa, Malta and the Channel Islands.
Check out our show notes below for information on how you can work with Monica.
Citations and Resources: 🌟 🌟
Monica Hanaway: LinkedIn
M&D Associates (Mediation Services & 2024 Training): https://manddassociates.com/training/
Books by Monica Hanaway (Routledge): https://www.routledge.com/search?author=Monica%20Hanaway
Books by Monica Hanaway (Amazon): https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?k=monica+hanaway+%2B+paperback&i=stripbooks&crid=2VNT24YO0X6V8&sprefix=monica+hanaway+%2B+paperback%2Cstripbooks%2C130&ref=nb_sb_noss
✅ See where it all started! Kelli Confidential - Episode 1: Houston We Have Lift-off: https://www.kelliconfidential.com/podcast/episode/794b4f11/episode-1-houston-we-have-liftoff-welcome-to-the-show
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course! www.kelliconfidential.com
Does Win-Win in deal-making still really work? It depends on the true intentions of the parties and whether you can block out societal conditioning. And for women, this is a cautionary tale - one that you'll really want to listen to because the win-win strategy might be hurting you.
And are there more effective ways to getting to yes? We answer those questions and more in this episode. Let's jump in!
Citations and Resources: ✨ ✨
Clark, John. “Creating and Claiming Value in Negotiation and Mediation”. Oxford Mediation. Onlinehttps://oxford-mediation.com/om_thinking/creating-and-claiming-value-in-negotiation-and-mediation/
England, Kelsey. “The Intersection of Gender and Negotiation: A Comprehensive Look at The Literature” Pepperdine Journal of Communication Research. Volume 11, Article 3. Pepperdine University. 2023. Online. https://digitalcommons.pepperdine.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1154&context=pjcr
Euractive. “Behind The Airbus-Boeing Truce Lies A Common Rival: China”. 21 June 2021. Online. https://www.euractiv.com/section/aviation/news/behind-airbus-boeing-truce-lies-a-common-rival-china/
Fisher, Roger and William Ury. “Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In.” Penguin Books. 3 May 2011. Available on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Yes-Negotiating-Agreement-Without/dp/0143118757/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2ZTWLDEV8093G&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.9GetBQhcqwwJB0OKopfvCfak-mpzTTFrwImrhJkY1okCTzcO5iniE8qWtOFrgV6Lqg-t9d4T3KykRRqlXvIp82rDrlQ4_GDTp4d4-rNlDIkQuhNF6gVdBq49woALA42cHM49NaHWz8qH4vaXA35tc66jfzewmuxelTBWWhuq_Nch3MhQMkItAZky_iaGq1a05fLEdy2l-UX8QgPRqmJbvwqY1r_qGqlp_HfRHu_eiPA.FzYK8pgeXUfaMTbhv5P0IfBd1ZxwpBJMSVqPIhoh-5A&dib_tag=se&keywords=Ury+Getting+to+Yes&qid=1716398323&sprefix=ury+getting+to+yes%2Caps%2C353&sr=8-1
Kennedy, Jessica A. and Laura J. Kray. “A Pawn in Someone Else’s Game?: The Cognitive, Motivational, and Paradigmatic Barriers to Women’s Excelling in Negotiation”. Vanderbilt University. Owen Graduate School of Management. 2015. Online. https://cdn.vanderbilt.edu/vu-web/owen/files/publications/Final_Kennedy%20Kray_Gender%20Negotiation%20ROB.pdf
Lax, David and James Sebenius. Summary of "The Manager as Negotiator: The Negotiator's Dilemma: Creating and Claiming Value". Citation from Dispute Resolution: Negotiation, Mediation and Other Processes. Wolters, Kluwer Law & Business 20 May 2002. Online https://www.beyondintractability.org/artsum/lax-themanager
Reuters. “Highlights of the 17-year
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out MARCH 2024! www.kelliconfidential.com
45 years on from the groundbreaking study into Imposter Syndrome, why it happens and why it affects women more than men, a new study has come out explaining how this phenomena particularly impacts women leaders (75% of those from this study poll).
In this episode we break down the key findings from those studies and look at ways women can work to mitigate the effects of invading self doubt.
Citations and Resources: ✨ ✨
Clance, Dr. Pauline and Suzanne Imes. “The Imposter Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynmaics and Therapeutic Intervention”. Georgia State University. 1978. Online. https://www.paulineroseclance.com/pdf/ip_high_achieving_women.pdf
Paulise, Luciana. “75% of Women Executives Experience Imposter Syndrome at the Workplace”. Forbes. Online. March 2023. https://www.forbes.com/sites/lucianapaulise/2023/03/08/75-of-women-executives-experience-imposter-syndrome-in-the-workplace/
✅ April 2024 Newsletter, Kelli Wilks Spring CPO: Combating the High Cost of Women’s Innumeracy: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/combating-high-cost-womens-innumeracy-kelli-wilks-d0dze/?trackingId=aOiKzTLGRU6ZBxknPK2rKg%3D%3D
✅ Kelli Confidential - Episode 1: Houston We Have Lift-off: https://www.kelliconfidential.com/podcast/episode/794b4f11/episode-1-houston-we-have-liftoff-welcome-to-the-show
✅ Kelli Confidential - Episode 15: The Consequence of Faking It in Negotiation: https://www.kelliconfidential.com/podcast/episode/7b2673c1/episode-15-the-consequence-of-faking-it-in-a-negotiation
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out MARCH 2024! www.kelliconfidential.com
There are few in the world that will receive a national award and be invited to personally meet a head of state – the Prime Minister of England in this case, and even fewer that would politely decline the request because they’re up a mountain putting in the miles to raise even more funds for others who really need it the most.
I’m talking about Retired Military Sargent Gina Atkinson -and this really happened to her - and so it’s my pleasure to have her with us again in this second and last of a special two-part episode which features the remarkable and tireless work Gina has been doing in honour of veteran’s and young cadet charities.
Specifically, we'll hear about the final legs of Gina's 300 miles trek across some of the most difficult and remote parts of Scotland, trekking, kayaking and cycling – all to raise funds for veterans charities. And she did it solo! You won’t want to miss it – let’s jump in!
Read on for information and ways you too, can help!
Charities (and fundraising pages) Supported by Gina's Scotland 300 Trek: 👇
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Scotland 300 Fundraising site
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SSAFA The Armed Forces Charity
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ACCT UK The Youth Army Cadets
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Woody’s Lodge Supporting Veterans, Reservists, Emergency Services & their Families
More About Gina: ✨✨
Awards:
Point of Light Inspiration Award 2024 (just announced!) 💪💪
Winner: English Veterans Awards: Gold Winner, Volunteer of the Year 2023
Winner: Ministry of Defense Soldiering On, Inspiration of the Year Award 2022
Finalist: English Veterans 2022
Books: "Military Memories" an anthology of poems written by veterans, serving personnel, families and those who have served, and the wider forces family with all profits going to military charities.
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out MARCH 2024! www.kelliconfidential.com
This week I’m honoured to welcome back veteran military sergeant Gina Atkinson. This is a special episode series and I’m quite chuffed to have Gina back on the show.
You may remember Gina’s name, she was on our show a year ago to promote a harrowing 300-mile solo trek across Scotland that she was doing for charity fundraising. What some of you may not know is that early in that journey – the first leg of that journey in fact, Gina has a terrible accident – which meant her original trek ended that day and she faced months of recovery and rehab. But she's back and stronger than ever and ready to face that 300 -mile challenge head-on!
Naturally humble and self-deprecating, join me for an open, funny and inspiring episode with Gina Atkinson as she gives us the low-down on what she's been up to last year and what the first leg of this 2024 trek (some 100 miles) has been like, including sleeping rough each night.
Her aim? It is to complete all of this within 3 weeks, solo, unassisted to raise awareness and money for three charities, ACT UK, SSAFA and Woody’s Lodge.
Read on for information and ways you too, can help!
Charities (and fundraising pages) Supported by Gina's Scotland 300 Trek: 👇
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Scotland 300 Fundraising site
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SSAFA The Armed Forces Charity
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ACCT UK The Youth Army Cadets
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Woody’s Lodge Supporting Veterans, Reservists, Emergency Services & their Families
More About Gina: ✨✨
Awards:
Point of Light Inspiration Award 2024 (just announced!) 💪💪
Winner: English Veterans Awards: Gold Winner, Volunteer of the Year 2023
Winner: Ministry of Defense Soldiering On, Inspiration of the Year Award 2022
Finalist: English Veterans 2022
Books: "Military Memories" an anthology of poems written by veterans, serving personnel, families and those who have served, and the wider forces family with all profits going to military charities.
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out MARCH 2024! www.kelliconfidential.com
Sometimes the trickiest negotiations aren’t in the boardroom; they’re in everyday life. And working through these can provide for great learning and reflection on how to apply these same principles in business.
On today’s show we’re talking about diffusing an escalation. Specifically, how to bring down the temperature to enable sensible decision making and rational thought. And we're focusing on one of the most overlooked tools available. One that works wonders on everyday conflict. Want to know more? Let's jump in!
Citations and Resources: ✨✨Wilks, Kelli (www.springcpo.com). Mindstorming Deal Tradeables: A Leader’s Guide. 2023. Available here 👆 👆
Cavanaugh, Brian. “Preventing and Responding to Student Escalation: Combining De-Escalation Strategies and Function-Based Support”. University of Maine, Farmington. Online. 2016. https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ1129816.pdf
Kevin Bennett PhD and Rick Hanson, PhD. “7 Rules for De-escalating Conflicts”. Psychology Today. Online Periodical. 18 May 2023. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/modern-minds/202305/7-rules-for-de-escalating-conflicts
Overton, Amy R. and Ann C. Lowry. “Conflict Management: Difficult Conversations with Difficult People”. National Library of Medicine. Online. December 2016 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3835442/
Available Also On: Spotify and iTunes 🎙 🎙
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out MARCH 2024! www.kelliconfidential.com
Today we’re talking about women in business, specifically setting up your own business. At the end of 2023, The Guardian reported a record number of talented but fed-up and frustrated women were leaving traditional jobs to open their own businesses.
And in the US, a study by Wells Fargo showed that “the number of women-owned businesses between 2019 and 2023 increased at nearly double the rate of those owned by men, and from 2022 to 2023 the rate of growth increased four-fold.”
Women are focused, hungry and simply smashing it in new business ventures. And yet….when we look at how those new businesses are established and funded….the rosy picture changes dramatically. And is it all about the money?
No, says Christine Walsh, author and financial coach, success really lies in the mindset as the core foundation bolstered by practical building blocks to get going. Christine joins us again on the show to talk about: your personal why, determining whether you're a hobbyist or professional, measured risks and some smart steps to move your dream into reality.
About Christine Walsh:
🌟 Book: “Be The Queen of Your Money”, released in April 2023. Available in paperback (US, UK) and on Kindle (Amazon.com for downloads).
🌟 Web: https://www.christinemwalsh.com/ This site includes a great Free Quiz – “What is your money archetype?” 🌟🌟
🌟 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chriswalshcoach
🌟 Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/christinewalsh-moneymentor/
🌟 How to connect with her: Email ➡️ christine@christinemwalsh.com
Citations and Resources 👇👇
Brandt, Noah. “Women in Business Statistics in 2024 (Latest U.S. Data)”. eCommerceTips.org. 15 January 2024. Online. https://ecommercetips.org/women-in-business/
Hill, Amelia. “Why More Women Than Ever Are Starting UK Businesses”. The Guardian Online. 26 December 2023. https://www.theguardian.com/business/2023/dec/26/i-conduct-my-own-orchestra-why-more-women-than-ever-are-starting-uk-businesses
“New Report Finds Growth of Women Business Owners Outpaces the Market”. Wells Fargo Newsroom. 9 January 2024. Online https://newsroom.wf.com/English/news-releases/news-release-details/2024/New-Report-Finds-Growth-of-Women-Business-Owners-Outpaces-the-Market/default.aspx
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out MARCH 2024! www.kelliconfidential.com
Today we’re covering something I see happen frequently in negotiations and why it’s so costly to you.
There are many pitfalls that can hinder novice negotiators. But there is one in particular that is the most costly in deal making. Can you guess what it is? It's probably not what you think.
It’s treating the deal like a conversation.
And why does that make such a difference? Well, let's jump in and I'll tell you.
Citations and Resources:
👉 Wilks, Kelli (Spring CPO Limited). Mindstorming Deal Tradeables: A Leader’s Guide. 2023. Available here 👆 👆
👉 Fisher, Roger & William Ury. “Getting to Yes: Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In”. Random House publishers. London. 2012 Available on Amazon
👉Stokoe, Elizabeth. “Talk: The Science of Conversation”. Robinson publishers. London. 2018. Available on Amazon
Available Also On: Spotify and iTunes 🎙 🎙
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out MARCH 2024! www.kelliconfidential.com
It’s that time of year again – Spring? No – Quitting Time! That’s right, April marks one of the biggest jumping off periods in the calendar year. This is largely due to bonus season landing in the same period for most organisations.
And I'm here to help! This show is dedicated to the prep work you need to put in before you decide to make that change. And I’m talking about networking. It used to be that professional networking was taken seriously only by those who were in seriously senior posts….but times have changed and those dated views are fading fast. Professional networking is imperative. Ready? Let's jump in!
Citations & Resources:
👉 Sample of my bio on Linkedin:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/kelli-wilks-6205994/
👉 Bureau of Labor Statistics. Employee Tenure in 2022. Online. 22 September 2022.
https://www.bls.gov/news.release/pdf/tenure.pdf
👉 Canva Digital Media Platform.
www.canva.com
👉 Harvard University. Mignone Center for Career Success. The Ultimate Guide to Transform your LinkedIn Profile. Online. 5 December 2022. https://careerservices.fas.harvard.edu/blog/2022/12/05/the-ultimate-guide-to-transform-your-linkedin-profile/
👉 LinkedIn. How to Create a Good Linkedin Profile. https://www.linkedin.com/help/linkedin/answer/a554351
Alternative Job Boards: 🌟🌟
- Intch.com https://intch.org/ Intch. How to Use Intch – Youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMB6lWGGVwc
- Indeed job board: www.indeed.com
- Slack: www.Slack.com (via Communities): How-to for Slack communities: https://www.flexjobs.com/blog/post/how-to-use-slack-communities-for-job-search/
Also Available on: Spotify iTunes and other popular directories.
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out MARCH 2024! www.kelliconfidential.com
In our continuing theme about new beginnings and redefining influence in 2024, on our show today we have a special guest, Christine Walsh, who is joining us to talk about Women, Money and the new face of Power.
Christine Walsh is a wealth generation money coach revolutionizing the way women access financial independence in their businesses and their lives. Christine is a speaker, author, and master money coach who partners with women to increase their income while maintaining their integrity through mindset work, accessible financial tools and practices, and sound money strategy developed over her 25+ years of successful financial leadership.
On our show today, Christine shares with us:
✅ Why women’s contribution to the world through financial leadership is crucial right now
✅ How to move through rejection and worthiness issues to create abundance in 2024 and beyond
✅ How to overcome conflict with money and negotiation for better positive results
✅ The secret of her Money Letter ( a must listen!) and some practical advice to help women on the path to a more confident money-building mindset.
Let’s jump in!
More about Christine Walsh and how to connect with her: 🌏🌏
Book: “Be The Queen of Your Money”, released in April 2023. Available in paperback (US, UK) and on Kindle (Amazon.com for downloads).
Web: https://www.christinemwalsh.com/ This site includes a great Free Quiz – “What is your money archetype?” 🌟🌟
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chriswalshcoach
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/christinewalsh-moneymentor/
How to connect with her: Email ➡️ christine@christinemwalsh.com
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out MARCH 2024! www.kelliconfidential.com
Many people struggle with negotiation, and my experience of this is that women, more than men, struggle with this in business. This happens, I believe, in large part because we're not taught critical negotiation skills in our formative years. And by the time we get to college - most universities still market their negotiation programs to a male audience.
And I’ve long believed that they key to closing the gap on critical gender equity issues lies in ensuring that women have relevant, affordable access to negotiation training. But what do we do when those popular negotiation courses are predominantly marketed to men?
On our show today we explore what happens when we leave women behind: in marketing, in the classroom, in the board-room….it goes beyond the economic impact, it affects whole generations of girls and women in what they believe is attainable.
Representation matters.
In this show, we look at examples of women being left out of the conversation in academia and in critical career roles. What happens when this perpetuates itself without challenge? Let’s jump in!
Citations and Resources ✅
👉 Bergman, Ronen. “Israel Knew Hamas’s Attack Plan More Than a Year Ago”. New York Times. 30 November 2023.https://www.nytimes.com/2023/11/30/world/middleeast/israel-hamas-attack-intelligence.html
👉Cuddy, Alice. “They were Israel's 'eyes on the border' - but their Hamas warnings went unheard”. BBC Israel. 15 January 2024. Online: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-67958260
👉Marcal, Katrine. “The Mother of Invention: How Good Ideas Get Ignored in an Economy Built for Men”. William Collins Publisher. June 2022
Check out Katrine's book on these platforms:👇
- Barnes & Noble (USA): 🌟🌟 https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mother-of-invention-katrine-marcal/1139206992
- Amazon (UK): 🌟🌟 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mother-Invention-Ideas-Ignored-Economy/dp/0008430810/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=mother+of+invention&qid=1706902677&sr=8-1
Youtube Clip: Harvard Business School – Program on Negotiation “Managing the room”.
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out MARCH 2024! www.kelliconfidential.com
Stressed out? Overwhelmed? Why on earth would you want to ADD to that by carving out precious minutes to write in a gratitude journal?
Because gratitude when partnered with specific goal setting is potent! And it packs a double punch when negotiating - anything!
Want to know how? Let's dive in!
Citations and Resources:
👉 Cepeda, Esther. “For those struggling with anxiety, harness the power of positive writing”. Gaston Gazette July 2017.
https://eu.gastongazette.com/story/opinion/columns/2017/07/15/column-for-those-struggling-with-anxiety-harness-power-of-positive-writing/20253134007/
👉 Winfrey, Oprah. “What Oprah Knows For Sure About Gratitude” https://www.oprah.com/spirit/oprahs-gratitude-journal-oprah-on-gratitude
👉 Kelli Wilks Podcast 17: Learning From the Greats 🌟🌟 https://www.buzzsprout.com/2063653/13474415-episode-17-learning-from-the-greats-three-steps-for-goal-setting-in-negotiation.mp3?download=true
**Books:
👉**Kaplan, Janice. "The Gratitude Diaries”. Yellow Kite Publishers. July 2016
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1473619319/ref=ewc_pr_img_2?smid=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&psc=1
👉 Winfrey, Oprah. “What I Know For Sure" Bluebird Press. First published 2014, latest edition Jan 2023. https://www.amazon.co.uk/What-Know-Sure-Oprah-Winfrey/dp/1035005190/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3QC1B9MNZKGUL&keywords=what+i+know+for+sure+by+oprah+winfrey+paperback&qid=1704126214&sprefix=what+I+know+for+%2Caps%2C164&sr=8-1
👉 Winfrey, Oprah. "The Wisdom of Sundays: Life-Changing Insights and Inspirational Conversations". Macmillan Press. October 2017
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Wisdom-Sundays-Life-Changing-Inspirational-Conversations/dp/1509874119/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2GH2SWJW86PMX&keywords=the+wisdom+of+sundays+by+oprah+winfrey&qid=1704126337&sprefix=the+wisdom+of+sundays%2Caps%2C409&sr=8-1
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out MARCH 2024! www.kelliconfidential.com
Welcome back!
We're starting off the new year with reflection and a shedding of the despairing news of the past few months to embrace the somewhat unconventional lessons that the Hunger Games and the women of Iceland teach us about hope and courage!
Citations and Resources:
👉The Gender Index 2023https://hdr.undp.org/content/2023-gender-social-norms-index-gsni?_gl=1fbvl05_gaOTYwMzU3NjQuMTY4NjU3NTgzMw.._ga_3W7LPK0WP1*MTY4NjU3NTgzMy4xLjEuMTY4NjU3NjE3MS4yLjAuMA..#/indicies/GSNI
👉The Guardian, London. Ahmed, Kaamil: "9 of 10 people are biased against women, says 'alarming' UN report". 12 June 2023.
https://amp-theguardian-com.cdn.ampproject.org/c/s/amp.theguardian.com/global-development/2023/jun/12/nine-out-of-10-people-are-biased-against-women-says-alarming-un-report
👉The UN SDG Gender Snapshot Report 2023: "The world is failing girls and women", according to new UN report.https://www.un.org/sustainabledevelopment/blog/2023/09/press-release-the-world-is-failing-girls-and-women-according-to-new-un-report/
👉Iceland Women Strike. CNN Europe. 23 October 2023
https://edition.cnn.com/2023/10/23/europe/iceland-women-strike-scli-intl/index.html
👉Iceland strike: 24 hours without women working. CBC News. 26 October 2023
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNFF6JPgTOI
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out MARCH 2024! www.kelliconfidential.com
The holidays are fast approaching. And according to recent reports, the UK retail market is expected to reach nearly £84 billion pounds this holiday season. And in the US, the expected retail holiday market - measured from mid- November until the end of December is estimated to reach a staggering $960 billion (for 6 weeks of spending!).😱 That's crazy big! And a whopping (and growing) proportion of that spend will happen online. In fact, it’s estimated that 75% of shoppers will buy their gifts through online shops and marketplaces.
So in this episode, I’m giving you four tactics to better leverage your online buying power to save money! 🌟🌟🌟🌟
Other Resources:
➡️ Swanson, Steve. “Consumers expected to spend record amount on holiday shopping this season”. https://www.cbsnews.com/minnesota/news/holiday-shopping-forecast-national-retail-federation/ November 2023.
➡️ Online and retail sales during Christmas season in the United Kingdom. https://www.statista.com/statistics/1063630/online-and-store-sales-during-christmas-in-the-uk/ (covering the six-week period between mid-November and end of December)
➡️ https://www.theguardian.com/business/2023/oct/22/christmas-shoppers-to-buy-fewer-and-cheaper-items-this-year-as-cost-of-living-crisis-persists
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out MARCH 2024! www.kelliconfidential.com
This week we're picking up where we left off in tackling workplace bullying. Continuing from our former episode looking at what makes a bully behave as they do, this episode explores three ways you can navigate or even negotiate with a bully. This episode covers also those occasions where it isn't appropriate to negotiate.
Let's jump in!
Additional Resources
✅ Link to my free eBook Mindstorming Tradeables 🚀🚀
👉Citation and References:
- Legal Resources (USA) - Equal Employment Opportunity Commission: https://www.eeoc.gov/harassment
- https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/bullying/what-workplace-bullying-laws-actually-exist/
- Laws protecting college students (USA):https://www.duffylawct.com/title-ix/college-bullying-lawyer/
- Child Bullying resources (USA): https://www.stopbullying.gov/
- Legal Resources (UK): https://www.gov.uk/workplace-bullying-and-harassment
- ACAS Legal Resources (UK): Advisory, Conciliation and Arbitration Service https://www.acas.org.uk/discrimination-bullying-and-harassment
- Anti-Bullying Helpline (UK): https://www.nationalbullyinghelpline.co.uk/employees.html
- Existential Crisis: https://psychcentral.com/lib/existential-crisis-and-dread
- Levy, Daniel. “How a Foulmouthed Bigot Named Archie Bunker Charmed—and Changed—America”. Time Magazine 9 February 2021 (50th anniversary special edition) https://time.com
- WBI 2021 Survey: https://workplacebullying.org/2021-wbi-survey/
- WBI (US Stats and Resources) https://workplacebullying.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/2021-Full-Report.pdf
- Workplace Bully (UK Stats): https://psychiatry-uk.com/workplace-bullying-what-is-it-and-how-do-we-stop-it/
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out MARCH 2024! www.kelliconfidential.com
Bullying is the weakest form of negotiation because force doesn’t rely on having much skill. It is brutish, primal and requires very little strategy.
And yet it remains pervasive in so many organisations. Some companies have practices that enable it - or glorify it even - if the remarkable popularity of "Succession's" calculating and ruthless anti-hero, Logan Roy, is anything to go by.
This is an important topic for so many people – women especially - who may feel they have no option and nowhere to go when dealing with a bully, and I’m here to tell you that you have more power and control than you think.
And because this is such a meaty subject, I’m covering this in a two-part episode. Today’s episode examines how the law views a bully, how it affects an organisation, and why the bully behaves as they do, and in the follow-up episode I’m breaking down what you can do when facing a negotiation with a bully (and the circumstances within which you should never negotiate) – so look out for that next episode to be released in the next week.
Let's jump in!
Additional Resources
✅ Link to my free eBook Mindstorming Tradeables 🚀🚀
👉Citation and References:
- Legal Resources (USA) - Equal Employment Opportunity Commission: https://www.eeoc.gov/harassment
- https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/bullying/what-workplace-bullying-laws-actually-exist/
- Laws protecting college students (USA):https://www.duffylawct.com/title-ix/college-bullying-lawyer/
- Child Bullying resources (USA): https://www.stopbullying.gov/
- Legal Resources (UK): https://www.gov.uk/workplace-bullying-and-harassment
- ACAS Legal Resources (UK): Advisory, Conciliation and Arbitration Service https://www.acas.org.uk/discrimination-bullying-and-harassment
- Anti-Bullying Helpline (UK): https://www.nationalbullyinghelpline.co.uk/employees.html
- Existential Crisis: https://psychcentral.com/lib/existential-crisis-and-dread
- Levy, Daniel. “How a Foulmouthed Bigot Named Archie Bunker Charmed—and Changed—America”. Time Magazine 9 February 2021 (50th anniversary special edition) https://time.com
- WBI 2021 Survey: https://workplacebullying.org/2021-wbi-survey/
- WBI (US Stats and Resources) https://workplacebullying.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/2021-Full-Report.pdf
- Workplace Bully (UK Stats): https://psychiatry-uk.com/workplace-bullying-what-is-it-and-how-do-we-stop-it/
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out MARCH 2024! www.kelliconfidential.com
Disclaimer: I recorded this podcast last Sunday when I was still under the weather – so please forgive the somewhat croaky voice!
Fall (Autumn) is one of my favourite seasons of the year, but it’s also the most impacting on the planet. Why? Well, we need only take a look at the innocent padded Gillet (vest) to see the surprising and sobering answer.
True that my podcast typically focuses on negotiation matters – so what does this have to do with the climate? The short answer is that while climate change is a global crisis that affects all of us, its impacts are not equal. Women more than men are left far more vulnerable by the consequences of a changing climate, and their voices are often left out of the decision-making process that could mitigate it.
And as I tell my students, while it’s also true that women remain in the 30th percentile (globally) for holding positions of power and capital wealth, our collective purchasing power is an extraordinarily effective tool of influence. Hands down. And we need to use it. So let our wallets do the talking this Autumn.
Jump in and I’ll explain how!
Citations and References:
✅ Link to my free eBook Mindstorming Tradeables 🚀🚀
👉The Gender Index 2022, Forbes 2022, UN SDGhttps://www.unwomen.org/en/what-we-do/economic-empowerment/facts-and-figureshttps://www.unwomen.org/en/what-we-do/economic-empowerment/facts-and-figures 👉“Climate Change Impacts Women More Than Men” https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-43294221 8 March 2018.
👉UN Gender Equality Goal 5https://sdgs.un.org/goals/goal5
👉“The Rising Purchasing Power of Women – Facts and Statistics” https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/personalfinance/the-rising-purchasing-power-of-women-facts-and-statistics/ar-AA15XWc9
👉“The 10 Essential Fast Fashion Statistics” https://earth.org/fast-fashion-statistics/
👉https://www.panaprium.com/blogs/i/fast-fashion-society#:~:text=Fast%20fashion%20also%20exploits%20local,face%20terrible%20conditions%20and%20abuse.
👉 “The fast fashion industry is drastically contributing to climate change” https://pirg.org/california/articles/the-fashion-industry-waste-is-drastically-contributing-to-climate-change/
👉 “15 Best Eco-Friendly Clothing Brands in 2023” https://www.thegoodtrade.com/features/eco-friendly-clothing-brands/
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out MARCH 2024! www.kelliconfidential.com
COVID may be behind us, but the economy and climate matters are pervasive topics. Both are affecting households and whole communities. And long-term sustained exposure to such existential topics can create real feelings of hopelessness, anger and even cynicism.
But in business, nothing can curtail your deal making abilities faster than unchecked cynicism.
With the backdrop of rising cost of living and reversing climate politics, we're looking at the three ways cynicism can kill your negotiation and what you can do about it.
Additional Resources:
- Crerar, Pippa, Fiona Harvey and Kiran Stacey. "Rishi Sunnak Announces U-turn on Key Green Targets." The Guardian Press (online) https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2023/sep/20/rishi-sunak-confirms-rollback-of-key-green-targets
- Frankl,Viktor. "Man's Search for Meaning". Beacon Press, Boston. First published in 1959, revised 2006.
- Social Science Research Council: "Cynicism, Care, Kindness: Contradictory Lessons from the Covid 19 Pandemic". https://items.ssrc.org/covid-19-and-the-social-sciences/covid-19-fieldnotes/cynicism-care-kindness-contradictory-lessons-from-the-covid-19-pandemic/
And here's the link to my Mindstorming Tradeables eBook (free), just grab it from the landing page: https://www.kelliconfidential.com/
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out MARCH 2024! www.kelliconfidential.com
Jack Welch was no ordinary executive; he was a visionary dynamo who understood that complacency was the enemy of progress. Armed with a relentless drive to innovate, he embraced change as a catalyst for growth. He unleashed a torrent of initiatives, sparking a cultural revolution that infused vitality into every facet of GE.
Openly anti-establishment in his views of bureaucracy, Welch believed that a company's strength lay not just in its products, but in its people. He championed a "boundaryless" culture that tore down silos, supported trial and error exploration, and cross-pollination of ideas.
Using this titan as my backdrop, in today's episode I share three quick but powerful approaches to goal-setting in negotiation that Jack himself used to propel GE to heights never before seen.
Citations and References:
✅ Link to my free eBook Mindstorming Tradeables 🚀🚀
👉Jack Welch Leadership.
https://www.investopedia.com/terms/j/jack-welch.asp
👉Jack Welch. BrainyQuote.
https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/jack_welch_163367
👉"Jack Welch: The Difference Between Winning and Succeeding." YouTube. TED, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGCq1ZzcZOs
👉"5 Leadership Lessons from Jack Welch." Inc. https://www.inc.com/ss/5-leadership-lessons-jack-welch#1
👉"Jack Welch's 5 Essential Leadership Practices." HRDive. https://www.hrdive.com/news/jack-welchs-5-essential-leadership-practices/569719
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out September 2023! www.kelliconfidential.com
In this episode I'm looking at the 4-month long investigative report by the New York Times into the damning claims of wide-spread, systemic exploitation of underaged migrant workers in some of the biggest, most beloved household brands in America.
The articles headed by journalist Hannah Dreier, presented one of several investigative pieces into the enormous scale of trafficked and enslaved young people across America.
So who is looking after these kids? More specifically, who is looking after the downstream 3rd party suppliers who introduced these illegal and unethical practices into the supply chains and why did the enterprise supplier risk vetting fail so miserably?
We'll break that down and look at three ways we can all do more to mitigate this from happening in our companies.
Resources and Citations:
Referenced News Articles:
- https://www.nytimes.com/2023/02/25/us/unaccompanied-migrant-child-workers-exploitation.html (you can Google the Mar, Apr, May links from there)
- https://www.msnbc.com/the-reidout/reidout-blog/joy-reid-child-labor-migrants-rcna72944
- https://www.nytimes.com/2023/05/07/us/politics/child-labor-immigration-democrats-republicans-biden.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare
- https://www.minimum-wage.org/colorado/child-labor-laws#:~:text=8%20hours%20of%20work%20per,hours%20per%20week%20are%20allowed
- https://www.gartner.com/en/newsroom/press-releases/2023-02-21-gartner-survey-shows-third-party-risk-management-misses-are-hurting-ororganizations
TPRM Resources:
✅ Get My FREE Third Party Risk for Leaders eGuide HERE
- https://assets.kpmg.com/content/dam/kpmg/uk/pdf/2021/04/outsourcing-and-third-party-risk.pdf
- https://www.upguard.com/resources/whitepaper-third-party-risk-management-services
✅ Past blog on forced labour and human trafficking HERE
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out September 2023! www.kelliconfidential.com
How often are we told - "just be more confident"?
In my courses, I talk about confidence and competence as vital assets for positive outcomes. Assessing your confidence before entering a negotiation is critical as it informs you of any additional preparation needed. It does NOT mean “be more confident”.
This type of advice is a particular frustration of mine because there are soooo many leadership podcasts and courses out there right now that casually talk about being more confident. “Just be more confident”. “Woman-up.” “Man-up”. Like you can just go pluck confidence off a shelf as if you were at the grocery store.
This is not helpful.
And this is not good leadership advice. Of course confidence is critical in any deal making, but false confidence is a recipe for disaster because guess what?
Your body will always betray the imposter. Your amygdala will kick in and you will be left with self-doubt or worse. In this episode I talk about how internal conflict creates vulnerabilities, how masking the issue can actually make matters much worse, and the three things you can do now - today - to manage it better whatever the circumstance.
Citations and Resources:
“Inclined but less skilled? Disentangling extraversion, communication skill, and leadership emergence”. Journal of Applied Psychology Publication: Oct 2021. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34618518/
“Introverts make great leaders”. Forbes. June 2023 https://www-forbes-com.cdn.ampproject.org/c/s/www.forbes.com/sites/forbestechcouncil/2023/06/26/embracing-unique-strengths-why-introverts-make-great-leaders/amp/
Jenny Radcliffe, Podcast: https://www.leadingauthorities.com/uk/speakers/jenny-radcliffe
Jenny Radcliffe, Podcast: https://blog.pcisecuritystandards.org/coffee-with-the-council-podcast-meet-this-years-pci-ssc-community-meeting-keynote-speaker-jenny-radcliffe
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out September 2023! www.kelliconfidential.com
Hello friends! I'm back after a few hectic weeks following some big deadlines and juggling a lot of balls. And sometimes it can feel a bit like running with scissors - you know you should probably slow down and re-group before you hurt yourself - this was one of those times. Does that sound familiar?
So in this episode, we're taking a bit of a departure from my typical, statistics-based tutorial for a more gentle chat about why and how we need to learn to slow down and proceed with caution while we regroup. And I'll share with you the three tips I know for refilling the tank when you're sputtering on empty and you feel like the world is sitting on top of you. You're not alone! So settle back, maybe grab a nice drink and enjoy this brief offramp. You deserve it.
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out Spring 2023! www.kelliconfidential.com
This past week as I celebrated the tremendous victory of the Denver Nuggets sealing their first ever NBA championship (first in their 47-year history!), I couldn't help but reflect on the extreme pay disparity issue that took Brittney Griner and many of her WNBA teammates overseas, for years, trying to source better compensation in the off season.
Firstly, top-performing athletes deserve to be compensated fairly. And such equal pay is critical because, according to my discussion with clinical specialist, and consultant Dr. Nicky Kirk of Parker Performance Institute in Texas, the costs each athlete has to pay to mitigate, or recover from, injuries and to maintain top performance after months of physically gruelling games can be incredibly high. This pressure is amplified all the more if you're a female athlete earning a fraction of your male peers.
In US basketball for example, the average NBA player earned $9.6M in the 2022/23 season (rising to over $40M for top players); the average WNBA player earned $102K in the same season.
Want to know more? Let's jump in!
Contributors:
Dr. Nicky Kirk, clinical specialist & consultant at Parker Performance Institute in Frisco, Texas
References:
Average Salary for an NBA player: https://www.gaimday.com/blog/average-nba-salary/
Average salary for a WNBA player:https://www.nbcsportschicago.com/wnba/who-are-the-highest-paid-players-in-the-wnba-in-2023/344112/
Brittney Griner - WNBA Player Profile. WNBA Official Website. Retrieved from: https://www.wnba.com/player/203398/brittney-griner
Chicago Sky. WNBA Official Website. Retrieved from: https://sky.wnba.com/
https://www.espn.com/wnba/story/_/id/34877115/brittney-griner-russia-drug-case-line-prison-trial-more
Brittany Griner Press Conference: The Phoenix Mercury (full version) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fhpe8VNAA2s
News conference 27 April 2023 https://edition.cnn.com/2023/04/27/sport/brittney-griner-press-conference-phoenix-mercury-spt-intl/index.html
Life and career of Nikola Jokic: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikola_Joki%C4%87
NBA Annual Salaries – 2022/23 season https://www.espn.com/nba/salaries
NBA Rookie Salary (Minimums) – 2022/23 season: https://www.sportskeeda.com/basketball/news-what-nba-league-minimum-salary-full-time-contracts-2022-23-season-looking-finances-salary-cap-lower-limits-this-year
US Women’s Soccer landmark settlement. https://www.pbs.org/newshour/economy/u-s-mens-and-womens-soccer-teams-formally-sign-equal-pay-agreements
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out Spring 2023! www.kelliconfidential.com
What exactly does it mean to negotiate from a defended position? It means trying to mitigate your position of disadvantage – regardless of what caused it. It may be lack of leverage, lack of resources, it may be a poorly argued position that’s backfired and landed you on the back foot.
I’m talking about those times when you feel cornered – you may in fact be cornered - either in your logic or because options are limited or don’t exist, or it may appear that the odds are stacked against you, or you may be negotiating up against a giant (the Goliath to your David) where there’s no path to a successful outcome - or at least one that you can see. Ever been in that situation? I can think of a few times when I have!
In today's episode I'm covering three micro lessons to help you think differently about what disadvantage means and steps you can take to find opportunities even when you're the underdog. Let's jump in!
Resources & Citations:
The Fort William Henry Massacre &The Last of the Mohicans (historical account and reference to James Fenimore Cooper’s novel Last of the Mohicans) https://southwilliamstown.org/the-fort-williamhenry-massacre-the-last-of-the-mohicans/
Cameron McWhirter and Bill Rankin, Cox News Service“Nichols is Captured in Atlanta”. The Story of Ashley Smith and Brian Nichols (2005): https://www.deseret.com/2005/3/13/19881775/nichols-is-captured-in-atlanta
Gladwell, Malcolm. “David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants”. Little, Brown and Company (2015). https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0316204374?tag=hacboogrosit-20
Kohnrieser, George. "Hostage At The Table: How Leaders Can Overcome Conflict, Influence Others, and Raise Performance." Jossey-Bass Publishing. San Francisco (2006).
MacCurdy, J.T. “The Structure of Morale” Cambridge – The University Press. 1943. (revised Oct 2022): https://www.amazon.co.uk/Structure-Morale-J-T-MacCurdy/dp/1015498787/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1685367142&sr=8-1
Legend of David and Goliath (Bible, 1 Samuel 17:1-58 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Samuel+17&version=NIV)
Voss, Chris. “Never Split the Difference”. TEDx. (2016, September). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEFK
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out Spring 2023! www.kelliconfidential.com
Negotiations can be really unpredictable, and things may not always go your way. That's why it's crucial to have a Plan B, a backup strategy in case the primary negotiation plan falls through.
This is probably the most common area where I see inexperienced negotiators stumble and they are either forced to concede more than they had planned, or they have to fall-back and defer to another day - both of which will feel like a failure.
So what can the unlikely trio of Michael Phelps, Alanis Morissette and Winston Churchill tell us about it? Let's jump in and find out.
References and Additional Reading:
Michael Phelps:
- https://www.si.com/olympics/2021/07/21/which-olympian-has-the-most-medals-all-time
- https://www.nbcsports.com/boston/tokyo-olympics/most-decorated-olympians-all-time-and-their-medal-counts
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Phelps
Alanis:
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alanis_Morissette
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyRveTKSpXY (pop up concert in NY Underground)
- https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2019/09/16/the-grunge-womens-revenge
- https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-lists/10-great-grunge-songs-853522/
- https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/grunge-100-greatest-songs-76471/
- https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-features/rock-bands-who-went-grunge-1228552/
Churchill and Roosevelt's Plan B:
- https://www.history.com/news/d-day-roosevelt-churchill-doubts-planning
- https://www.nationalww2museum.org/war/articles/operation-dragoon-anglo-american-alliance
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Overlord
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out Spring 2023! www.kelliconfidential.com
In this episode, I talk about a negotiation tool that you should use right at the beginning of your deal making - that’s right – I’m talking about rapport. But what you may not know, is that this innocent sounding “soft skill” - as it’s described – is actually one of the most tactical, stealth-like tools you can employ among all other intelligence-gathering aids used when your negotiation hits a stalemate or worse.
Why is rapport so important in negotiation? Because as experts in the psychology of conflict will tell us, a person’s world-view is the centrepoint of their belief system.
And one of the most effective ways to find accord or common ground with that worldview, is to show the other party that they’re being listened to and that they are heard and understood. Sounds simple right? Something that a little small-talk will address, right? Actually, that’s probably the most misunderstood part of building rapport, and the most common mistake I see amongst inexperienced negotiators trying to lay their foundations out. And unfortunately, many, many business people are taught – incorrectly - to rely on small talk as a tool for entering sales dialogue with a stranger.
So say it with me – rapport building is not small talk. Want to know more? Let's jump in!
Reference material from this episode:
- Driver, J. (2016, May). “You Can Spot a Liar. Here's How” [Video]. TED. https://www.ted.com/talks/janine_driver_you_can_spot_a_liar_here_s_how
- Driver, Janine. “You Say More Than You Think”. Three Rivers Press. New York. 2010. https://www.amazon.com/You-Say-More-Than-Think/dp/0307453987
- Kohlrieser, G. “Hostage at the table: How leaders can overcome conflict, influence others, and raise performance”, 2016 edition. https://www.amazon.com/Hostage-Table-Leaders-Conflict-Performance/dp/0787983847
- Dr. Liz Stokoe. https://www.forbes.com/sites/tanyatarr/2021/06/30/what-we-get-wrong-about-building-rapport-according-to-an-expert/
- Dr. Elizabeth Stokoe. https://twitter.com/LizStokoe/status/1397615216964345857
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out Spring 2023! www.kelliconfidential.com
The difference between a good leader and a remarkable one is not about making great decisions, or even brave ones, but in how you execute on it.
In today’s episode, I’m honoured to host veteran military sergeant, avid sportswoman, marine mammal medic, book publisher and unstoppable charity fundraiser Gina Atkinson who shares with us a glimpse into her impressive military career, her successes in running women-owned businesses, and her tireless commitment to serving others in need.
To say Gina is paying it forward is an understatement. Across countless volunteer and ambassadorship hours, Gina's hugely successful fundraising has literally raised hundreds of thousands of pounds (and awareness) for veterans charities, animal welfare groups, cancer support groups and others.
Most especially, Gina wants you to know about the most gruelling challenge she’s yet to face – which is the upcoming Freedom Quest Solo Challenge, a 300-mile, 3 week trek, paddle and cycle across Scotland - all starting on 30th April. And as the name describes – Gina will be doing this challenge totally alone and unsupported. She will be carrying her food and gear in a backpack, sleeping rough in a tent for the duration of the trek. Her aim? To smash her goal of £3000 in support of three deserving charities: SSAFA, ACT UK and Sporting Force. You can read more/donate HERE.
Want to know more about Gina and the organisations she supports? Keep reading below!
Awards:
Winner: Ministry of Defense Soldiering On, Inspiration of the Year Award 2022
Finalist: English Veterans 2022
Books:“Military Memories” an anthology of poems written by veterans, serving personnel, families of those who have served, and the wider forces family with all profits going to military charities
Charities & Outreach groups:
-
Freedom Quest Solo Challenge
-
SSAFA The Armed Forces Charity
-
ACCT UK The Youth Army Cadets
-
Sporting Force The Veterans Sports Charity
-
End Suicide a hybrid lifeline mobile application that operates in the prevention of Suicide, Rape, Lone Emergencies, Missing Persons, Terrorism and more
-
British Divers Marine Life Rescue
-
Candy Cane Rescue, Animal Aid and Flying Irish Greyhound rescue groups
-
Purple Warriors Veterans Dragon Boat Team
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out Spring 2023! www.kelliconfidential.com
In the concluding Part 2 of this series - Monica Hanaway shares some warm and, at times, funny insights peppering her unusual career, the extraordinary people who influenced it (including Archbishop Desmond Tutu), and she breaks down for us:
- why people really search for security at work
- why COVID destabilised our belief system so much
- what 21st century leaders can do to get people back to work (with conviction)
Monica Hanaway is an accredited mediator, author, senior lecturer, Existential leadership coach and trainer. When not seeing clients in her private practice, or enjoying time with her family in Oxfordshire, Monica is usually mediating, writing or speaking at international conflict management forums. And together with her business partner Diana Mitchell, M&D Associates have taught Advanced Mediation in Singapore, Romania, Latvia, South Africa, Malta and the Channel Islands.
Check out our show notes below for information on how you can work with Monica.
Resources and References:
Monica Hanaway: LinkedIn
M&D Associates (Mediation Services & Training): https://manddassociates.com/meet-the-team/
Mediation Courses – 2023 Schedule: https://manddassociates.com/training/
Books by Monica Hanaway: https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?i=stripbooks&rh=p_27%3AMonica+Hanaway&s=relevancerank&text=Monica+Hanaway&ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1
“The Existential Leader”: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Existential-Leader-Monica-Hanaway/dp/0367023385/ref=sr_1_5?qid=1680520867&refinements=p_27%3AMonica+Hanaway&s=books&sr=1-5&text=Monica+Hanaway
“Existentialism in Pandemic Times”: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Existentialism-Pandemic-Times-Psychotherapists-Organisations-ebook/dp/B0B3KH894P/ref=sr_1_4?qid=1680521017&refinements=p_27%3AMonica+Hanaway&s=books&sr=1-4&text=Monica+Hanaway
The Tutu Foundation: https://tutufoundationuk.org/
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out Spring 2023! www.kelliconfidential.com
When you think of mediation - what image comes to mind? I suppose the stereotypical view is one of somber suited professionals shuffling paperwork and divorce cases. I'll bet it isn't the image of a tall, elegant woman working with rival street gangs to settle turf disputes, or the same soft-spoken woman mediating with Irish paramilitary loyalists.
This week I'm delighted to host Monica Hanaway, accredited mediator, author, senior lecturer, Existential leadership coach and trainer.
Part 1 of this two-part series:
Considered an expert in Existential leadership and mediation, Monica shares with us her early journey from art college through to becoming an international mediator, author and educator. We'll hear about the key people and influences that shaped her decision-making to leave behind traditional norms in favour of a highly challenging yet more authentic life.
‘The first initiatives in existential coaching practice… were led by established existential psychotherapists Emmy van Deurzen, Freddie Strasser, Monica Hanaway, and Ernesto Spinelli who made the first strides in Europe.’
The Wiley Handbook of Existential Therapy (2019)
Join us later this week to hear Part 2 of the series - the fascinating conclusion of our interview with Monica where she shares some funny insights peppering her unusual career and explains what Existentialism means and what 21st century leaders need to do to re-connect with staff in a post-Covid workforce.
Resources and References:
Monica Hanaway: LinkedIn
M&D Associates (Mediation Services & Training): https://manddassociates.com/meet-the-team/
Mediation Courses – 2023 Schedule: https://manddassociates.com/training/
Books by Monica Hanaway: https://www.amazon.co.uk/s?i=stripbooks&rh=p_27%3AMonica+Hanaway&s=relevancerank&text=Monica+Hanaway&ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1
“The Existential Leader”: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Existential-Leader-Monica-Hanaway/dp/0367023385/ref=sr_1_5?qid=1680520867&refinements=p_27%3AMonica+Hanaway&s=books&sr=1-5&text=Monica+Hanaway
“Existentialism in Pandemic Times”: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Existentialism-Pandemic-Times-Psychotherapists-Organisations-ebook/dp/B0B3KH894P/ref=sr_1_4?qid=1680521017&refinements=p_27%3AMonica+Hanaway&s=books&sr=1-4&text=Monica+Hanaway
The Tutu Foundation: https://tutufoundationuk.org/
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out Spring 2023! www.kelliconfidential.com
Climate change is a global crisis that affects us all, but its impacts are not equal.
Resources and Citations:
The Gender Index 2022, Forbes 2022, UN SDG https://www.unwomen.org/en/what-we-do/economic-empowerment/facts-and-figureshttps://www.unwomen.org/en/what-we-do/economic-empowerment/facts-and-figureshttps://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-43294221 “Climate Change Impacts Women More Than Men” 8 March 2018.
https://sdgs.un.org/goals/goal5 UN Gender Equality Goal 5
https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/personalfinance/the-rising-purchasing-power-of-women-facts-and-statistics/ar-AA15XWc9 “The Rising Purchasing Power of Women – Facts and Statistics”
https://earth.org/fast-fashion-statistics/ “The 10 Essential Fast Fashion Statistics”
https://www.panaprium.com/blogs/i/fast-fashion-society#:~:text=Fast%20fashion%20also%20exploits%20local,face%20terrible%20conditions%20and%20abuse.
https://pirg.org/california/articles/the-fashion-industry-waste-is-drastically-contributing-to-climate-change/ “The fast fashion industry is drastically contributing to climate change”
https://www.thegoodtrade.com/features/eco-friendly-clothing-brands/ “15 Best Eco-Friendly Clothing Brands in 2023”
PLUS: five (5) links on how to measure your personal carbon footprint:
- https://www3.epa.gov/carbon-footprint-calculator/ (best for US residents)
- https://footprint.wwf.org.uk/#/ (best for UK residents)
- https://footprinthero.com/best-carbon-footprint-calculators (summary list of best sites)
PLUS: Some LinkedIn climate pages UN and others that I follow
- Corporate Social Responsibility & Sustainable Development https://www.linkedin.com/groups/82951/
- The World Bank: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-world-bank/
- UN Women: https://www.linkedin.com/company/un-women/
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out Spring 2023! www.kelliconfidential.com
Did you know that only 34% of women and 46% of men negotiate their salaries? This despite the fact that 70% of hiring managers expect to negotiate and are prepared to pay MORE on the first offer?? Do those numbers surprise you? Bit crazy, right? If you think so too, keep reading!
So it’s that special time of year, no not Christmas, BONUS SEASON…….the time when companies start to pay out bonuses, which is great isn’t it? I remember those days when I wasn’t working for myself, and I would eagerly await news of the company performance so I could see what I was going to get in my March payslip.
And for many of those same people, the other predictable event this time of year is the decision to leave unhappy jobs for greener pastures.
First things first, I want to say if that's you, then well-done for making the hard decision to move and make this change. Sometimes the harder issue isn’t haggling the new deal, it’s actually reaching, and executing on, the decision to leave a company.
In this episode, I provide three micro-lessons on how to negotiate your pay packet. The first shares my top 5 rules for negotiating a new job offer. The second covers the steps to negotiate an increase on an existing role. And the third clarifies when/how to negotiate in email.
Lesson 1: 8:07
Lesson 2: 19.51
Lesson 3: 23.35
Resources:
Dr. Randi Gunther: https://www.newharbinger.com/author/randi-gunther/
Dr. Jeff Thompson: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/beyond-words/201109/is-nonverbal-communication-numbers-game
Mark H.McCormack. "What They Don't Teach You At Harvard Business School: Notes From A Street-smart Executive" https://www.amazon.com/What-Teach-Harvard-Business-School/dp/0553345834 Mark H. McCormack: https://web.archive.org/web/20191108062952/http://www.cmgpartners.ca/mccormack-family
Roger Fisher and William Ury (with revised edition including Bruce Patton). “Getting to Yes”: Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In. https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Yes-Negotiating-Agreement-Without/dp/0143118757
Simon Sinek (LinkedIn Post) https://www.linkedin.com/posts/simonsinek_some-of-the-human-skills-that-are-underappreciated-activity-7029842923072450561-lg-x?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_ios
Simon Sinek book “Start With Why”: https://www.amazon.com/Start-Why-Leaders-Inspire-Everyone/dp/1591846447
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out Spring 2023! www.kelliconfidential.com
With the backdrop of the crucial UN biodiversity negotiations held late last year, I open this episode with a reminder that gender parity and climate change are inextricably linked as women the world over - particularly in poorer nations - are disproportionately disadvantaged by the effects of climate change. A situation made worse in countries where women are underrepresented in government office and lacking the power to change it. So the work that Sam is doing, especially as a woman scientist in her field, is doubly important. I hope you enjoy the episode!
Malaria is one of the most deadly diseases on the planet, which infects over 200 million people a year and is estimated to have killed over 600,000 people in 2021 alone.
And for the past sixteen years, Dr. Samantha O'Loughlin has worked for Target Malaria, a research consortium focused on developing novel genetic gene-drive methods to control the spread of this deadly disease.
About Dr. Samantha O’Loughlin
Dr Samantha O’Loughlin is a population geneticist and stakeholder engagement support officer at Imperial College London. Samantha is a self-confessed perpetual student, and has spent most of her adult life working and studying in academia. She has four degrees, including an MSc in Biodiversity and Conservation and a Doctorate in mosquito population genetics. In 2006 she took on a post-doctoral research position in a new and exciting research project aiming to develop novel genetic gene drive methods for controlling the mosquito vectors of malaria. This project has since grown to become the Target Malaria research consortium.
As a mosquito population geneticist, Sam's role in the consortium has been ensuring that the methods can be applied to natural mosquito populations. She works closely with molecular biologists and modellers in the Target Malaria team, bringing them her extensive experience of Anopheles mosquito genetics and bionomics. Samantha’s working activities have grown and evolved along with the project, and in 2019 she took on a role in the global stakeholder engagement team where she engages with key stakeholders, such as mosquito scientists, the malaria control community, and regional and global policy makers.
Sam recently returned from the United Nations COP15 negotiations in Montreal where negotiations focused on biodiversity and the 17 sustainable development goals (gender equality is SDG #5). Long, gruelling and hotly debated, the Economist put it best in their article "A UN biodiversity meeting is slugging it out in Montreal". Publications:
https://www.imperial.ac.uk/people/s.oloughlin
Link to Target Malaria:
https://targetmalaria.org
Link to UN COP15: #cop15
https://www.unep.org/events/conference/un-biodiversity-conference-cop-15
Want to hear more about these topics? Please leave us a like and a review or join our mail list for information upcoming courses like our Negotiation Foundations course due out Spring 2023! www.kelliconfidential.com
Why do we feel fear in negotiation? Well this is a mammoth topic in itself. One that I will break down for you over the course of a few episodes, so let’s start with something manageable today. Today I’m going to talk about how we experience fear in negotiation – or what we recognise as fear. Then I’m going to talk about why that happens – because trust me, you are not alone here. And then I’m going to give you three really effective micro-lessons to deal with those fears.
The body is amazing in how it goes into auto-pilot when certain circumstances arise (like feeling threatened), and fear management is one of those times that the body tries to manage itself. What I’m talking about here is when the body goes into survival mode and reacts externally to a perceived threat (non-physical) as if there was a real life polar bear charging at you!
The "fight, flight or freeze" response is controlled by a small, but mighty part of the brain called the amygdala. It’s very small, it’s an almond-shaped structure located deep in the brain, slightly behind the prefrontal cortex, and it is responsible for processing emotions, especially fear.
When the amygdala senses a threat, which happens in milliseconds, it sends an alarm to the rest of the brain and triggers the release of hormones, namely adrenaline and cortisol, which cause physical changes in the body. These changes prepare us to either fight or flee from the danger. So when I say “prepares us”, it does things like slow our digestion and increase our heart-rate so that our limbs are pumping blood faster effectively getting ready for battle…have you ever noticed these changes? They may not have seemed obvious at the time, but they can result in things like dry mouth, extreme thirst, twitchiness, brain fog, forgetfulness, poor digestion, bloating….any of these ringing a bell? These are all symptoms of your amygdala taking over – hence the name “Amygdala Hijack”.
To manage the "Amygdala Hijack", it's important to understand when and why it is activated, and to learn coping strategies for controlling it.
- Micro-lesson 1: Practical and proven techniques to destress the body
- Micro-lesson 2: Practice! Negotiating with strangers helps; listen to Episode 2 for ideas!
- Micro-lesson 3: Mental Health: when was your last tune-up?
Sound interesting? Well, let's jump in!
Leave A Review:
If you like my show and want to hear more of these topics, please give me a like and follow us, and please join my mail list to find out about upcoming courses which will be heading your way in this Spring! Go to www.kelliconfidential.com and subscribe to our newsletter!
Let's Talk Money. We hate wasting it!
In our second episode, I'm going to take you through my "Top 10" list of the scenarios and transactions you should negotiate every time. Why? Because I know you are out there, girl against the grind, and your hustle will get you only so far without negotiating some things. These tips will save you time and money, or both.
Plus, it's January and if you're like me, we're all focused on our pocket book and how to keep any extra pennies in it! And this is good practice.
Ready? Let's do this!
Did you know that only 34% of women negotiate their salaries in a job offer? This is despite studies that show over 70% of hiring managers were prepared to pay more – from the onset. Your salary is such a critical financial anchor, it affects your pension, your bonus, your future promotions. 34%. Why? Fear, and because women haven’t been taught how to negotiate.
And still 34%. Does this resonate with any of you? Is this you? Do you get yourself wound up for a difficult conversation and then it falls apart before it even starts. Do you feel anxious at the prospect of the conversation itself? And then you beat yourself up even more for forgetting key points you wanted to make, or that great comeback that never left your tongue.
We’re going to tackle all of that, with some really effective skills, some funny anecdotes, and some super guests!
This podcast is dedicated to Negotiating Essentials for Women.
Here I will share vital skills for Navigating the "No" and we'll talk about three critical life skills: courage, curiosity and resilience. Basically dealing with the “hard parts” of life and how to learn to embrace a challenge in front of you to see the opportunity.
Easy peasy, right? Well, we all have to start somewhere. Let's do this!