The Dragonfly Tribe: Recent Episodes
Dayton ~ the holistic wellness coach
You are not alone...
In various cultures and folklore, the dragonfly symbolizes change in the purest sense. It represents our internal journey to express our true self. It represents our journey to the understanding and meaning of our presence and connectedness in this world. As you walk your path, may the Dragonfly Tribe offer you a connection to your inner and outer world. And with each step in your journey, remember to look for the dragonflies that cross your path as you notice your connections increasing in depth and breadth.
Blessings for a Beautiful NOW...
Talk soon...
Welcome to my 5-minute podcast. Opening remarks...
Life is…well…sometimes life is funny. That could mean what is happening around me or to me, produces a lot of joy. Maybe even a belly laugh. Or, it could be that what is happening is sosurprising that if I don’t perceive it as funny, I may be tempted to judge it harshly negatively, and that never adds benefit to my mental wellbeing.
A couple of weeks ago, I put in a foster application at thelocal SPCA. I took their test, passed with flying colors, still the overachiever I guess, and have been patiently waiting for a foster opportunity. For lunch yesterday, I went to our community's annual Chili cook-off where all proceeds are going to our local volunteer fire department. The turnout was phenomenal, and I thoroughly enjoyed just hanging out, having random chats with people I have never met, and enjoying this gathering of the community to eat some good chili and support our fire department. I liked being a part of the experience. I like to participate in making my community resilient, strong, and purposeful. I left Paradise Pub with a smile on my face, but it left me wanting something...more.
About an hour later I received an email from SPCA seeking a Foster for Gertie...
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Thank you for listening. Openings remark...
If you are a Thomas’ English Muffin fan, you will notice this message is posted on their packaging. When I read it this morning, I was struck by how my energy shifted…I smiled…and I felt my focus shift to the present moment. I cannot recall the lasttime I felt so optimistic while consuming my breakfast. Think about it…it’s a magnificent head space to begin the day.
It has a child-like approach to life. Looking for the magic…the awesomeness…the joy. From a mental health perspective, it promotes an inward sense of health and well-being which is then extended outward to people we meet and experiences we encounter. It gives us a chance…an opportunity…to be successful in whatever way we define success. To meet the day with hope and to feel empowered to meet the challenges that will, undoubtedly, be presented. While it doesn’t guaranteethat we will be ‘able to leap tall buildings in a single bound’, it does give us the confidence to take the next step...
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Monday's musings. Welcome and thank you for listening...
Opening remarks...
When you think of peace, what comes to mind? Is it reading a book and allowing your imagination to transport you to anothertime and place? Is it sitting outside on your deck and listening to the birds sing? Is it taking a walk in the forest and reflecting on what you are grateful for? Or is it entirely somethingelse?
I believe carving out a space for peace during our day is as important as drinking water, providing nourishment to our bodies, or having a good night’s sleep. It is necessary to have space for the mind to rest…to consciously allow thoughts to pass by without a need to judge them or change them. This is the practice of mindfulness...
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Welcome to the Dragonfly Community and thank you for listening!
Opening remarks...
Saturday I attended a class titled “A Loving Force Practice”at the Union of Body, Mind, and Soul in Milford. As soon as I walked through the door, I noticed a board with the message“The moon is a reminder that no matter what phase you are in you are still whole.” As it turned out, the space I occupied the entire class was directly in front of this magnificent message andit was a beautiful representation of thoughts and feelings I experienced throughout the hour, and it brought home two messages that are central to my focus at this time.
The first is the mantra…you are my sun, my moon, my stars, my love…that has been central to my being for the past several months. Those words…those few words…spoke the entire message of my soul…
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Welcome and thank you for listening. Comments from the podcast...
Life will always present us with a challenge and the form doesn’t matter….it is still our personal challenge to work through. My adopted granddaughter, Marissa, and I just completed reading The Mindful Twenty-Something by Holly Rogers, MD. It is a magnificent book on mindfulness which I highly recommend whether you are a novice or a master.
As we become more present in each moment…we give ourselves the opportunity to practice mindfulness and view our thoughts and feelings from a place of non-judgment. And when we do this…when we practice mindfulness…everything changes. The tsunami waves may crash all around us, but we can experience calm in the eye of the storm.
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Welcome and thank you for listening to this 6 1/2 minute podcast. Opening remarks...
While great strides have been made over the past 70 years, I believe a stigma remains surrounding mental health. I have spent the last 2 years and 10 months in the Master of Social Work program at the University of Texas at Arlington, with a concentration in mental health and substance misuse. I entered this program for two reasons: 1) to help my brain heal from the TBI I experienced and 2) to ultimately provide pro-bono mental health services to veterans on a part-time basis…my give-back for this last chapter of my life.
During my tenure at UTA, my experiences, biases, knowledge, and beliefs surrounding mental health have been challenged. My shame over my personal mental health challenges has been obliterated and this is perhaps the greatest gift I have received from the program. For if I cannot view myself without condemnation, how can I possibly view another as whole, perfect, or worthy? For everything I perceive outside of me is merely a reflection of what is going on within me…and this holds true for all of us.
Every moment of every day we are creating our reality through the stories we are telling ourselves. We give meaning to our experiences and label them as either good or bad and we deem ourselves worthy, or not, and we look upon another with the same sense of judgement. How often do I look upon myself with compassion or grace? For it is certain that if I cannot extend compassion to myself, I cannot extend it to you...
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Welcome to this 5 min podcast...
I am spattered with scars. Does that imply I have suffered or that I have healed? Or, does it indicate both are true? Do my scars create a pattern of beauty that showers me with grace. Or, do my scars define my existence, and the very essence of my being, as flawed and damaged. What is the story I am telling myself?
For many years, the theme of my story was…I am broken. After I experienced a traumatic brain injury, I saw a psychiatrist to receive a consultation to document the neurological and psychological impacts of the injury. When I read the first line of her report, “her whole life was bad”, I was both shocked and giddy. Finally someone affirmed me and my view of the world. However, by this point in my life, the affirmation was of no consequence. I had moved past my world view that …I am broken.
My perspective…or story…began to change after my eldest son was killed. The grief was so all encompassing…so overwhelming…that I felt I was loosing myself in the process. And the only way I could reclaim my sense of self, was to use…what is commonly referred to as person first language. So, instead of saying I am a depressed person, I would say I am experiencing symptoms of depression. In the first scenario, the depression defines me as a person. In the second scenario, I am a person experiencing one of a thousand different feelings available to a member of the human race...
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Thank you for joining this 7 minute podcast...
I have learned…through a great deal of missing the mark and adjusting…that whenever I take the focus off of what is going on inside of me…and direct that focus to another…what is wrong with them…everything gets out of balance…inside of me. It is a high price I pay when I attempt to ditch what I am responsible for…my thoughts, feelings and choices.
It typically goes something like this…someone says or does something, and I notice that I become incredibly anxious or stressed. I don’t want to feel anxious…and I want an immediate solution NOT to feel stressed. So, the guickest path to resolution is to blame the person for their actions and ‘making’ me feel anxious. Well, we all know that nobody can make us feel anything…we have the power…and we can how we will feel in any given situation. .
What happens is I will continue to feel anxious and out of balance, until I stop and turn the question inward…where is this anxiety coming from? Sometimes I have to sit with the question for awhile…maybe hours…maybe days…maybe weeks…for it all depends on how willing I am to be honest with myself. Their words or actions were merely a catalyst for making me aware of an old wound….I say old wound for rarely is it about something in the here and now...
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Remember when we were young and all we could think about was becoming an adult and getting to make our own decisions…mostly because all of the adults in our lives were making decisions for us that we wanted nothing to do with. I knew what was best for me…or so I thought at the time.
Actually my premise…I know what is best for me…was accurate…is accurate… and I stand firmly on this foundation to this day. What was missing from my awareness way back then was this…our prefrontal cortex…the part of our brain that is responsible for decision-making…is not fully developed until around 25 years of age. That doesn’t mean someone under 25 is incapable of making appropriate decisions, it simply means their capacity is limited. Since this is true for all of humanity, one would think that we give ourselves a break…and everyone else…right? This is a perfect example where compassion would be instantaneously engaged…right? Hmmm…
It has been several decades…4 to be precise…since I was in my twenties which means that I have been an adult for quite some time and…sometimes…the only real benefit I see in this designation is nobody is going to yell at me when I have popcorn for dinner and cookies for breakfast..If I think about it, that is a small victory for total accountability. I mean…I have complete responsibility for my entire life…my thoughts…my feelings…and my choices. And because my pre-frontal cortex is fully developed, what happens when I miss the mark? When I make a choice that is in opposition to my highest good? When I harbor negative thoughts that rob me of my inner peace and joy? When I entertain thoughts which only becomes a breeding ground for judgement and condemnation and keeps me separate from my fellow travelers on this journey we call life?
The answer is quite simple…although it took me a very long time to understand. The answer is the same for prior to 25 and after 25…the answer is compassion...
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Leon Brown spent 13 years in professional baseball…a great contributor to the sport. But he is also known for some magnificent ‘success in life' quotes. And while I am challenged to pick a favorite, today’s quote is meaningful for this Saturday morning where the air is crisp and the promise of a beautiful Fall day is emerging. It is a perfect opportunity to sit with myself…to check-in…to notice what I am thinking and what feelings are rising from those thoughts. To spend a few moments as Mr. Brown suggested…to simply listen to my own voice…my own soul.
It’s challenging. Sometimes it is very challenging. Because everywhere I turn…or look…there is noise…clamoring for my attention…telling me what to think…..how to dress…what to do…where to live…who to like…who to despise. And if I listen, then I am acknowledging that they are the expert in my life…in my journey…in my story. Is that really what I want to do? To give my voice…my personal power…my independence…to another? I think not. I think that is, by far, the worst thing I could do for It is the epitome of mindlessly moving through my life in a boat without a rudder.
As a peer supporter, my lived experiences become my greatest assets. For it is those experiences that allow me to connect with others…to share my story of recovery. And this entire process is extraordinary. It empowers me to solve my problems and to share those experiences with others. It engages me and allows me to connect with others…to celebrate our successes as we remove barriers and overcome obstacles. When I am in this mindset, I can experience joy and gratitude. But this is not where I always reside...
mentalhealth #wellness #theholisticwellnesscoach #healthandwellness #awareness #heartcentered #purpose #spiritual #thedragonflytribe #soulpurpose #selflove #awaken #consciousness #mindbodyspirit #innerpeace #innerwisdom #mentalhealthsupport #liveinspired #ownyourlife #heartandsoul #fortworth #leonbrownquote
Prime Purpose Coaching
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Community…family…tribe…these words describe belonging. They indicate a place where we are connected to others; where we are a part of. But, what if we do not feel that we have a community, or a family, or a tribe; then what?
Not having a community…a family…a tribe…I know what that feels like. I can walk outside my door, enter the world, meet and greet dozens of people without feeling I am a part of; I remain on the periphery. I observe, I communicate, I interact, I share. Yet, I remain an outsider; disconnected from the love and safety I yearn for.
“It takes a village to raise a child” is one of my favorite quotes. It deeply stirs my desires of connectedness and community; literally and metaphorically. As adults, we are responsible for the safety and well-being of a child; any child. If a circumstance demanded immediate action, we would intervene. Additionally, we would apply this action to the infirm, the elderly, an animal; any creature or being that needs our assistance. If our path crosses another who is experiencing emotional pain, we offer compassion and support. If our neighbor has taken ill and unable to leave their house, we offer meals. Ken Stone, the manager of my gym Fit for Life, has complete a call to action for members to donate items to our homeless population and this Sunday we will have the privilege…thanks to Ken…to meet some basic needs of many.
Every action is a connection; a demonstration that we are a part of. Yet, even acknowledging this did not diminish my feelings of disconnection. I needed a different perspective; I needed to look within. I know that my outer world is merely a reflection of my inner world. If I am feeling disconnected in my outer world, then I am simply disconnected with myself.
I began to explore my thoughts and feelings I held about myself. Did I extend love to myself? Did I support myself with compassion? Did I honor myself and truly believe I was worthy of receiving? The more mindful I was of my thoughts and feelings the source of my disconnectedness became apparent; and the path to freedom became clear.
At this time of reflection, I began to notice the numerous dragonflies that would cross my path. For many tribes, the Dragonfly is symbolic of change; discarding limiting beliefs and doubts and seeing the belief we hold about self. It reminds us of our limitlessness and our profound ability to fulfill our birthright. The colors reflected in the wings of the Dragonfly associate with vibrations; with energy. The Dragonfly Spirit guides our change, our emergence to awakening, once we are willing.
From my decision to designate myself a member of the Dragonfly Tribe, and my practice of deepening my connection with my true self, emerged a metamorphosis. I began to observe I held a sense of belonging; I became aware how I saw my outer world from a radically different perspective. The words I am enough…I have always been enough…I will always be enough…became transformative.
If you are seeking a community…a family…a tribe, there will always be a place for you with The Dragonfly Tribe. Your connection is secured merely by your acknowledgement it is so. My desire for you? May the depth and breadth of your true self be exponential…for you are magnificent.
Blessings for a beautiful NOW….
Talk soon…
mentalhealth #wellness #theholisticwellnesscoach #healthandwellness #awareness #heartcentered #purpose #spiritual #thedragonflytribe #soulpurpose #selflove #awaken #consciousness #mindbodyspirit #innerpeace #innerwisdom #mentalhealthsupport #liveinspired #ownyourlife #heartandsoul #fortworth #fitforlife
Prime Purpose Coaching
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I think of myself as an optimist for when a challenge arises or a roadblock is encountered, I seek a solution. I actually believe a solution is possible and, consequently, I do not stop until one is identified. But I wasn’t always that way…I had to learn how to be an optimist…I had to practice being an optimist. And somewhere along the way…I don’t even remember when…being optimistic was my go-to response.
Was I born a pessimist? Was I taught to be a pessimist? Of the nature vs nurture perspective, for me I am confident it was from the nurture camp. Growing up, my environment told me I was a victim…for I was a child who was…literally…victimized…I was specifically targeted by events and circumstances of which I had no choice but to suffer. Consequently I developed a learned response of being impacted by external forces and I developed the perspective of pessimisism…which an online dictionary defines as the tendency to see, anticipate, or emphasize only bad or undesirable outcomes, results, conditions, problems, etc. It makes sense that would be my perspective because that was my reality. But…and this is the kicker…there came a day that I moved from a child to an adult and…guess what…I maintained my child-view of the world…without any thought or consideration of the validity of my premise that the world was a dangerous place. In other words, I perpetuated the victimization….I took on the role of one of life’s victims and wore my victimization like a badge of honor...
mentalhealth #wellness #theholisticwellnesscoach #healthandwellness #awareness #heartcentered #purpose #spiritual #thedragonflytribe #soulpurpose #selflove #awaken #consciousness #mindbodyspirit #innerpeace #innerwisdom #mentalhealthsupport #liveinspired #ownyourlife #heartandsoul
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I want to be…and perhaps most importantly I can be. For in truth, everything I see is of my own creation. When I look at you, I will see a friend or foe based upon what story I am telling myself about you…about me. And because my thoughts create my reality, I have a responsibility to myself…to my health and well-being…to be mindful. To ask myself important questions such as…is this helping me? does it give me joy? Am I choosing me? Am I detached from this outcome? What beliefs am I walking around with?
All of these questions focus on one thing…personal freedom...
mentalhealth #wellness #theholisticwellnesscoach #healthandwellness #awareness #heartcentered #purpose #spiritual #thedragonflytribe #soulpurpose #selflove #awaken #consciousness #mindbodyspirit #innerpeace #innerwisdom #mentalhealthsupport #liveinspired #ownyourlife #heartandsoul
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This question not only intrigues me, it is very important to me. At this point in my journey, what I call the last chapter of my life, I want to be the best…most authentic version of myself. I want my experiences…all the pain…all the loss…all the suffering…to mean something. To, at the very least, mean that I learned something about me…what I believe…what I think…what I want…and how that matters when I look upon the face of another. What do I see? Do I see myself? Do I see their true self?
Namaste in Sanskrit means ‘I bow to you’. Over the years I have reflected upon this meaning and considered how it translates for me. On a spiritual level, I prefer to consider another as an extension of God…an extension of myself because I believe we are all connected…there is no separation. Sure, we ‘think’ we are separate because we occupy separate bodies…but, is that really who we are? I think not. I think it is merely the perception of this time and space. So, another translation of Namaste could be…the God in me bows to the God in you...
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I think this is a ‘loaded’ question because it is full of nuances. Some would look at it from a religious perspective; some would look at it from a privilege or royalty perspective; some would look at it from a cultural perspective. But I am not looking at it from any of those perspectives. It is a personal question and, therefore, can only be answered from a personal perspective...
Please join me as we explore this question of personal freedom.
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I believe the answer is a resounding YES! And while I recognize flags may be popping up all over the place and bells are ringing, I ask that you consider why I believe this is true.
Years ago, I made the decision that, no matter what, I would be happy. The decision was relatively easy…just do it. And then began the execution of the decision; suddenly, it appeared to be ‘not so easy’. One of the first things I had to do was to expand the depth and breadth of my practice of mindfulness; throughout any given day, my thoughts frequently had the potential of obliterating any feeling of happiness. Once I identified the ‘thought’ that was eagerly waiting to transpose me to a place of (fill in the blank, e.g. fear/anger/shame/guilt, etc), I had a choice; stay with my commitment or succumb to the ‘thought’...
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"To be humble, to be kind It is the giving of the peace in your mind To a stranger, to a friend... To give in such a way that has no end We are love We are one We are how we treat each other when the day is done We are peace We are war We are how we treat each other and nothing more...."
These words are the lyrics of Nothing More by The Alternate Routes; written for and inspired by the work of their friends at www.charlottehelenbaconfoundation.org formerly Newtown Kindness. The lyrics offer a profound message; one that can literally change the world as we ‘see’ it. What would that be like? Join me as we explore...
For more information Prime Purpose Coaching
4 min podcast
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This is Step 6 in Deepak Chopra’s 10 Steps to Wholeness. Six words. Thirteen phrases. The statement is clear; no ambiguity whatsoever. Perhaps if we polled a random sampling of our community, 95% would say something to the effect, “Well, duh, of course that’s true!” Because we value our relationships. Right?
Join me as we explore this topic.
For more information: Prime Purpose Coaching
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In loving memory of my first-born son, SGT Tyrell Seth Williams, USMC
25 December 1976 ~ 11 February 2008
It’s Thursday, 11 February 2021. Perhaps to many, it is just another day marking the beginning of the end of another week. But for me, the date has a very specific meaning. It marks the date that my world shattered...that my family unit began to crumble…that I was propelled on a journey that would take me to the bowels of grief and the dark night of the soul that seemed to go on endlessly. Thirteen years ago today, my eldest son was killed in a hit-and-run less than 90 days of returning home from his third tour in Iraq. A young man who was ready to begin his life, settling in Austin and preparing to attend the university of Texas. The perpetrator of this tragedy was never identified.
May these words offer comfort to those who are suffering with a loss and support in knowing that you are not alone. Please know that it is both loving and healing to be gentle with ourselves. As you travel your path, hold fast. You will heal, you will rekindle your passion for life, and your heart will smile again.
From my heart to yours...
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The Winter of one’s life is the last transitional period and a cause for celebration equipped with all the grandeur and ceremony a rite of passage offers. I have begun the Winter of my life and I am jazzed. While this is the last phase of my life, it is the first phase that I have entered with deliberate intention; awake, aware, whole and at peace internally. The journey has been…well…interesting. Half-way through my summer phase I began what I would classify as my spiritual journey. This would be my prime purpose through the remainder of summer and throughout autumn; literally half of my life up until now. The term ‘slow learner’ comes to mind yet that merely makes me chuckle because the journey simply ‘is what it is’; time is not a variable.
4 min podcast
To learn more Prime Purpose Coaching
wellness #healthandwellness #awareness #heartcentered #purpose #spiritual #theholisticwellnesscoach #thedragonflytribe #soulpurpose #selflove #awaken #consciousness #mindbodyspirit #innerpeace #innerwisdom #mentalhealthsupport #liveinspired #findyourpurpose #ownyourlife #heartandsoul
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Sudoku and the meaning of life. For years I have had visions of writing a book on this topic. It was, most likely, spurred by the famous "everything I need to know I learned in kindergarten." I don't know if I can fully get behind that statement, however I have found Sudoku to be far more than a mind-engaging puzzle. My first twenty attempts resulted in extreme frustration. I could not fathom how a box, filled with nine boxes each filled with nine smaller boxes, could be so challenging. To make it even more mind- boggling, we are only using numbers one through nine in any given box. My granddaughter could count far past nine when she was three years old. I just could not understand. Given the design is simple, the variables are limited and the instructions can be written on a post-it note, then why was I ready to declare it a 'stupid game' and throw the book across the room?
Aah...well...that answer is simple as well. I did not yet understand that Sudoku held the meaning of life.
4 min Podcast
To learn more Prime Purpose Coaching
wellness #healthandwellness #awareness #heartcentered #purpose #spiritual #theholisticwellnesscoach #thedragonflytribe #soulpurpose #selflove #awaken #consciousness #mindbodyspirit #innerpeace #innerwisdom #mentalhealthsupport #liveinspired #findyourpurpose #ownyourlife #heartandsoul
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While this is the title of a book by Albert Clayton Gaulden and a good read, this discussion not about the book; rather it is an exploration of this bold statement. If we are not who we think we are, and indeed we are not who others think we are, then who are we?
4:36 min podcast
To learn more: Prime Purpose Coaching
wellness #healthandwellness #awareness #heartcentered #purpose #spiritual #theholisticwellnesscoach #thedragonflytribe #soulpurpose #selflove #awaken #consciousness #mindbodyspirit #innerpeace #innerwisdom #mentalhealthsupport #liveinspired #findyourpurpose #ownyourlife #heartandsoul
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I believe love is one of the most used words in our language and it is also one of the most misunderstood. Rather than extolling it as a priceless gem, we toss it around, or aside, as a cheap bauble. To understand the entire expression of the word, is awakening to truth and joy indescribable NOW. Join me as we explore love...
4:00 min podcast
For more information Prime Purpose Coaching
wellness #healthandwellness #awareness #heartcentered #purpose #spiritual #theholisticwellnesscoach #thedragonflytribe #soulpurpose #selflove #awaken #consciousness #mindbodyspirit #innerpeace #innerwisdom #mentalhealthsupport #liveinspired #findyourpurpose #ownyourlife #heartandsoul
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What is forgiveness and why is it the only option? Join me as we explore the meaning of forgiveness...what it is and what it is not...and why it is directly tied to our personal freedom.
4:50 min podcast
For more information Prime Purpose Coaching
wellness #healthandwellness #awareness #heartcentered #purpose #spiritual #theholisticwellnesscoach #thedragonflytribe #soulpurpose #selflove #awaken #consciousness #mindbodyspirit #innerpeace #innerwisdom #mentalhealthsupport #liveinspired #findyourpurpose #ownyourlife #heartandsoul
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This is a great question for this new day of this new year. It is also an important question because with each passing moment, we are creating the life we are experiencing. Are we conscious and deliberate in our intention? Or are we asleep and just going through the motions?
9:13 min podcast
For more information Prime Purpose Coaching
wellness #healthandwellness #awareness #heartcentered #purpose #spiritual #theholisticwellnesscoach #thedragonflytribe #soulpurpose #selflove #awaken #consciousness #mindbodyspirit #innerpeace #innerwisdom #mentalhealthsupport #liveinspired #findyourpurpose #ownyourlife #heartandsoul
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Thank you Jeremiah, Dave, Michael, Jeff and Doug for everything you do to for the UT Student Veterans and all the support you provide for the SGT Tyrell Seth Williams, USMC Endowed Scholarship by identifying the perfect veteran to 'sit in Ty's place' each year. Happy Holidays and wishes for an amazing 2021!
To learn more about Tyrell's Endowment, https://www.primepurposecoaching.com/honoring-remembering and https://deanofstudents.utexas.edu/veterans/williams.php.
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We want to feel valued. We want to feel worthy. So, what do we do when 'life happens' and we do no feel valued, or worthy or that we are enough? Join me as we explore...
5:22 min podcast
For more information: Prime Purpose Coaching
wellness #healthandwellness #awareness #heartcentered #purpose #spiritual #theholisticwellnesscoach #thedragonflytribe #soulpurpose #selflove #awaken #consciousness #mindbodyspirit #innerpeace #innerwisdom #mentalhealthsupport #liveinspired #findyourpurpose #ownyourlife #heartandsoul
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