Left of Normal with Scott Sery: Recent Episodes
Scott Sery
In 1994 Asperger’s Syndrome was officially recognized. In 2013, it was no longer an official diagnosis.
Today, it all falls under the category of Austism Spectrum Disorder. In my mind I see it as a line, right in the middle is what we label as “Normal”; the far left being severe autism, and the far right being an unlabeled disorder I call highly social with no social skills.
I am left of normal.
As an introverted, left of normal, entrepreneur and business owner, I have encountered a ton of unique problems in my life that required out-of-the-box solutions.
Let’s work together to create a better world, learn how to adapt, and thrive as we live life to the Left of Normal.
We're about in the middle of Autism Awareness Month, and there's a bit more of a buzz this year than I've seen in years past. Perhaps more people are vocal online.
So, we'll take a look at what this month means to actually autistic people, and we'll challenge, head on, the "symbol" of autism - the puzzle piece.
In this episode I look at where it came from, what it means, and why a lot of people in the autism community don't really like it. We'll look at the good aspects, the negative, and why the latest iteration, developed by Autism Speaks, is, essentially, rubbish.
We look at what a better representation actually is, and then conclude with what autism awareness month should be about, but isn't.
I don't always overthink things, but when I do, I catastrophize.
Just kidding, it's almost always overthinking. Today's episode looks into the typical pattern of how the overthinking turns into catastrophizing.
I relay some quotes I read earlier this week, tell a couple of stories about what my brain has come up with recently (including a shout out to my Turo account - if you need a nice truck to drive around in while you're in Billings, please let me know so I can rent you my vehicle).
We'll conclude with some tips on how to reduce the stress, anxiety, and catastrophizing in your life.
Today we get to hear from an expert in the field of Autism.
Dr. Cravens has a PhD with an autism focus. Her training has allowed her to help with those all across the spectrum. Today, she has a therapy practice where she, and other neurodivergent therapists, help people no matter what they're struggling with.
Through the years she has found that one thing stands out: increased compassion and empathy for others makes the world a whole lot better.
Tune in and hear her take, what she knows about the #autism spectrum, and find out why it's so hard for people to get a diagnosis these days.
Pick up her recently released book, Positive Parenting Strategies Workbook and you can follow her on her social media and websites:
Instagram
Facebook
Website
Today we're diving into the world of emotions. We'll take a look at why Left of Normal people tend to come across as having no empathy. We'll also take a peek at the difference between the two different kinds of empathy.
We'll get into a little bit on what it's like to feel emotions but not understand, or be able to describe, what's being felt. It gives a bit of an insight into what those on the autism spectrum go through internally.
Wrapping up, we look at the two acceptable sleep positions.
autism #asd #alexithymia
Our guest today has one simple message: don't be stagnant.
Whatever happens in life, no matter if you feel down or up, keep learning, keep reading, and keep moving forward. Joshua Smith grew up on the spectrum, but didn't know he was on the spectrum. Looking back he no sees all of the different aspects that were thought to be impairments as signs that he is Left of Normal.
Today, he's helping others with Autism overcome their self-limiting beliefs and to move forward.
You can find him online:
Facebook: Your Speaking Voice
LinkedIn: Your Speaking Voice
Your Speaking Voice Website
There's a whole lot of information out there about how to parent an autistic child. There's not a lot of information out there about parenting as someone on the autism spectrum.
Even when you try to find information about parenting while autistic, you come across parents of autistic children.
Today, we look at what it's like to be a parent while on the spectrum. The Left of Normal parent has a number of other hurdles and obstacles to overcome, but there are also strengths that come with being on the spectrum and having kids.
I feel like I made a lot of good jokes in here too, so there's that.
Today's 'cast has a guest: Amy Taylor.
Amy's daughter was diagnosed with autism, but not until many years after she was suspected. The reason is, in my opinion, rather ridiculous.
But it brings up a bigger issue: why are girls less likely to be diagnosed?
Tune in and let's ponder it.
You can follow Amy on her social media accounts, or check out her website and podcast.
Advancing with Amy
After a couple of busy weeks, this episode wasn't going to happen... but then it did.
Today we look at the unmasked college years. Times when I could just be weird, and be me, and not worry about trying to fit into what the world thought I should be like. It was an era of painted fingernails, different hair colors, strange clothing, no shoes, and more.
So, let's take a look back at the college days, and reminisce about Power Puff Girls.
Today's episode has a guest joining us.
Kadin was diagnosed as autistic when he was 2 years old. Throughout his life he was told his "disability" was going to set him back and he would never amount to much. Time and again, he was able to prove everyone wrong.
Today he shares insights on how he has found success, the challenges he sees, and tells us all about how the power of positivity is the only way we can all succeed as humans.
You can find Kadin and read his writing in these places:
Facebook
Instagram
The Sports Column
Home School Counseling Network
The Everyday Fan
Many Left of Normal individuals prefer to be alone the majority of the time. There are some obvious reasons, and some others that we'll explore in this episode.
While we wrap things up with the benefits of intentional solitude, the opposite is true too. If isolation and being alone comes easy, then shake things up with intentional socialization.
Parents of autistic children, discover how to make room time an opportunity instead of a punishment.
Autistic meltdowns, as portrayed by Hollywood, involve what look like toddler temper-tantrums.
But that's not always how reactions to being overstimulated occur. Some meltdowns are quiet, some are passive, and some come across as a lot of anger.
The difference is that the rage from a tantrum is targeted and manipulative; the rage from a meltdown is (to an extent) uncontrollable and the brain reverting to a more base nature as it resets.
Get in on the rage fest with this episode about meltdowns and anger. PS I'm trying something different, by moving the title to the front and the episode number to the end, perhaps more people will be able to see this.
Some Left of Normals are great planners. Some are terrible planners. I love planning. I love planning to make plans. My plans include planning other plans and organizing and systematizing.
One of the areas where I love plans and organization is in travel. I'll even create mock travel plans for vacations I know I will never take.
Today's episode looks at the link between #autism and making these plans, as well as the hyperfixation that comes with them.
Among the neurospicy folks, there are many that struggle with executive functioning skills.
These skills are the decision making processes, the ability to stay on task, remember what needs 'membered, and the ability to be self-driven.
When the skills are lacking, it's called executive dysfunction. This episode looks into what that dysfunction looks like among the #autism community and how to (sort of) overcome it.
Often those who are Left of Normal are labeled as "gifted." In my case it was the result of just doing the work as told - I was told to get the work done, so I put my head down and got the work done. As a result, I learned a bunch of stuff.
After school, and into adulthood, however, things got less clear. They weren't as easy as "put your head down and get the work done." Struggles ensue, and many of those who kicked ass in their youth, now are burnt out and struggle with anxiety, depression, and more.
Tune in and see how #autism affects burnout and what to do so you don't set your kids up to struggle later in life.
Running a business can be difficult. But it's considerably easier than working for someone else.
Finding a job as a Left of Normal is excruciating. Landing a job is even harder. Creating your own job has a whole different set of hurdles, but some that can be overcome with the right resources in place.
Today's episode talks about what it takes to run a business as a Left of Normal, and what those hurdles are that we face - and how anyone can help their business owner, professional, and entrepreneur friends with very little effort and time.
Today's 'cast dives into three phrases that many of us hear quite often. The intention behind them is to help inspire, or to encourage one to do better, but the words given are really not that good.
Many of these are nonsensical to not just those on the Autism Spectrum, or with some other neurospicy divergency, but also to those who are normies. I believe the difference is that the normies somehow know the true meaning behind them - still unclear on that part though.
Leave a comment. Are there any other quips and phrases that you hear often that have minimal meaning behind them?
I recently had knee surgery. I don't see it so much as going through surgery, but upgrading from factory defaults.
Today's episode goes through the badassery that led to this current surgery. How the injury started, how it progressed, and where I am today.
Through it all I have maintained my awesomeness - likely even increased awesomeness considerably.
Resolutions are whack.
This episode looks at why those resolutions are whack, what you can do to make better resolutions, goals, commitments, etc. etc. and all of that New Year New Me stuff.
We'll also spend some time on New Year's parties. Why those on the Autism spectrum don't care for them, and what some of us Left of Normal's like to do this time of year.
Compassion has to be learned. Those on the Autism spectrum, however, have a little harder time learning it. While normies can often just pick things up, it's a conscious effort for those that are Left of Normal.
Does that struggle give the LoN a pass to not have to show as much compassion? If they fail to learn it, do they deserve less compassion coming to them?
How about siblings, should parents favor the Left of Normal child over the normie children? Should siblings be required to show compassion to each other regardless of where they fall on the spectrum?
All these questions and more are discussed in this episode!
Let's take a look back and identify some of the spectrum traits that went unnoticed. From lining items up, to uncomfortable clothing, to making and keeping friends, today's episode picks out some things from my childhood that I now see as early identifiers of being Left of Normal.
Recognizing these traits early on can help create a better living environment for your child that may be on the Autism spectrum.
Modern psychology is better at identifying younger kids who happen to have ASD, but it starts with awareness in the home. Notice the traits and support them.
Often, those who are Left of Normal prefer to communicate in writing. There are a number of reasons, not the least of which it's easier to know when it's your turn to "talk."
For me, it spills out into other areas of my life in addition to merely communication. I turned my ability to write clearly into a career.
In this episode I give a shout out to my friend Shane Fichter. Shane used journaling to help hone his mindset. He used this to help bring him from a life of addiction, to a life of inspiration. Check him out on social media, or find him at https://havocmindset.com/ to learn more about his journey and how he can teach you to use journaling like this.
We go through a lot more, check it out!
It's Thanksgiving-ish time! This 'cast was posted the day after Turkey Day, so it's a little untimely.
But the concepts are still there, the stories still applicable, and the ideas can flow from Thanksgiving into Christmas.
These times can be stressful on a lot of people, whether they are on the Autism spectrum or not. For those who do live with ASD, they can be especially stressful as routines are changed, mushy food is served, and expectations vary.
For those who are Left of Normal, or those who have a Left of Normal family member, check out some of the holiday tips to get through with your sanity intact.
Today we have a guest on the 'cast. I met Suzie DeBar a number of years ago through a networking group I was part of. She was starting a new business around the same time I started mine, and we were able to support each others' growth.
A few years ago I had the opportunity to write her family story in a magazine that I was helping with run by Aubrey Kincaid - whom I call "obnoxious" in this episode.
Today, Suzie has shifted her focus to NLP coaching. Where she helps people break down the mental barriers that are keeping them from their goals. It's fascinating and could very much benefit the autistic and ADHD community.
Along with NLP we discuss her experiences with people on the spectrum, we have a couple stories about people on the autism spectrum who were training clients and how she noticed a specific way to to train them that created instant engagement.
Find Suzie on Facebook, or check out her website: https://www.dbcoachandtrain.com/ to learn more about her and what she does.
There's a myth out there that autistic people don't feel empathy. That's not quite true, it's really that most Left of Normal folks don't know how to express empathy.
Then, there's the idea of sympathy. Where often sympathy is shown, when empathy is needed.
Wrap those up together with an action plan, and you get compassion.
Now, how does self-compassion play into this empathy, sympathy, compassion conundrum? Today's 'cast dives into how it all should look and how those on the spectrum can get stuck in a self-pity loop when they need to bust free with self-compassion.
I have never been hugely into sports - not organized stuff anyway. But today's guest is all about them. Possibly the sportsiest nut I know. Mitch Bohn, however, has a unique perspective due to his situation.
Today's episode gets into Mitch's positive view on life, how he ended up in the broadcast/podcast world, where he hopes to go in life, and why he's into sports. We talk about his interactions with those on the spectrum and some of the insights he has learned over the years.
In the episode we talk about his podcasts. You can check out Wide Left Sports (by clicking the name, it's hyperlinked), or Chin Music with Mitch and Tony (again, clicky clicky, that one is actually on YouTube).
Follow Kickin' It with Leif on Facebook as well as Adventures in Heels with Leah - or check out www.985wolf.com between 7am and 9am to hear Leif's show and 11 - 1 for Leah's.
This podcast is all about Autism Spectrum Disorder. But there are many traits that are similar to ADHD - despite these two being seemingly at odd with each other.
Recently the idea of AuDHD started to pop up more and more. While ADHD and Autism comorbidity aren't new concepts, they're being understood more and more. And from what I've found out, ADHD doesn't necessarily manifest as hyper and out of control.
Let's take a look at how these two play together, and how they show up in real life.
In our family we have two Left of Normal and one normie. Sometimes the dynamics can get a little weird.
Over the years it has been a learning curve to understand different communication styles. But as we all grow together we learn what we are trying to say and how to say it.
Jessica and Holden come on as guests in this family episode of Left of Normal.
We all have some of those little things that we love to get lost in. For those with autism, however, our reasons can be a little different.
Hyperfixations are short-term dives into topics, activities, or something that can completely distract us from real life. Fixating on them allows the body and mind to reset and calm down.
Today's episode looks at what they are, how the present themselves, the end result and goal, and how you can encourage those around you who have ASD to use their fixations in a healthy manner.
Many people wonder if it's okay to ask someone if they're autistic. So, I decided to tackle this question and take a look at motives, reasons, and methods of asking.
Today, I'll share some of the tips how you can approach the subject, and some of the reasons why you might not want to go there. I'll lay it all out there on how I would feel if you asked if I was autistic today, 10 years ago, or 20 years ago.
I'll let you in on a secret: there's nothing wrong with wondering if someone is Left of Normal. Often there's nothing wrong with asking. Most people will mess up the approach though.
Social expectations are (largely) unwritten rules created by a society to help keep everything flowing properly and helping everyone get along.
The problem is they assume a specific skill set - a set that the majority of people have.
Most people don't need training for it, they just intuitively know how to navigate following these expectations or norms.
For some, such as those on the autism spectrum, with ADHD, or another neurodivergent way of thinking, those expectations need to be learned. But nobody teaches them, we just have to figure them out on our own.
Episode 118 talked about why the jobs suck. This episode we get into why entrepreneurship is often a better idea for those who are on the spectrum.
I'll go through the five considerations of what happens at a traditional job, and how being self-employed circumvents those sucky situations.
There are, however, some parts of being entrepreneur that are difficult, and some of those difficulties are compounded by being Left of Normal. We'll talk about that, and another episode in the future will get into how autism plays a deleterious role.
This was going to be an episode on how those with autism manage the world of being an entrepreneur, running a business, and lead teams or groups... but setting the stage took a bit longer than expected, so entrepreneurship will come next week.
In this episode we take a gander at a variety of jobs that I had, and why they all sucked. Why I bombed interviews if I could even get an interview, and why I allowed myself to be walked all over when I was in my 20's.
Because jobs are rarely spectrum friendly, and interviews are by nature discriminatory against those on the spectrum, it's estimated that 80% of autistics are unemployed or underemployed.
Next week's episode will discuss how to beat the system, stick it to the man (by becoming the man), and work in a capacity that is in line with the neurodivergent mind.
There are a ton of myths out there around autism (not dissimilar to most, well, everything in the world). The myths are about what causes the condition, how do you "cure" it, and more.
Why do they persist? Why do people continue to perpetuate them? And better yet, what's the truth?
This episode we talk about vaccines and autism, how to discover if you (or a child) are on the spectrum, as well as diagnoses and more.
Nature is a fantastic way to help neurodivergent minds navigate the world. For me, it's because nature is safe, predictable, and exciting.
Studies show that being immersed in nature is great for everyone - it's the Japanese concept of Shinrin Yoku - but especially for those with ASD and ADHD.
Today, we're talking about an upcoming adventure: climbing Granite Peak - Montana's highest point. Holden will be going along and hopefully he will conquer the mountain at just 10 years old.
By the time most listen to this we will have summited, or died trying... okay, maybe we won't die trying, but you get the point.
A lot of people love to bemoan how hard parenting is. Yes, it can be difficult at times.
If you're on the Autism Spectrum, and you're a parent, do you feel there are certain challenges to overcome?
As a Left of Normal parent, I found some aspects were quite easy - especially the parts where I just played with a baby all day long. Other aspects are quite difficult - such as where processes and rules are completely ignored.
Today we look at some parenting woes, wins, and what to dos.
Those on the spectrum can be really annoying sometimes.
And we often know that we're annoying. The problem arises with the fact that we can't really control it - many of those annoying traits and quirks for those on the autism spectrum are largely outside of their control.
So what do you do when a Left of Normal is annoying you? Let's talk about that.
A listener chimed in recently and asked about boundaries, especially with children on the spectrum. I pondered it a bit, and realized that for a long time my own boundaries were rubbish.
The problem was that trying to please too many people meant not caring for myself.
Of course, now that I have set those boundaries, I tend to come off as rude, standoffish, and arrogant.
Today we'll look at how Left of Normal folks set boundaries, how we see boundaries in the normies, and some ideas on how to encourage Left of Normal children to understand them, set, and respect them.
Today we have a guest on the podcast who really knows his stuff when it comes to leadership.
Dave Nordel spent 30 years in the Air Force. During that time he learned a ton of valuable lessons on leading others, investing in people, and helping everyone grow and do better. He has a passion for mental health and ensuring that people who need a little boost get the boost they're looking for.
Whether you believe you're a leader or not, the truth is that you have it in you to guide and inspire others. Follow Dave to learn more, buy his first book "Giving Back!" and his upcoming second book "When the Cows Lie Down" You can find Dave via the links below:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-nordel-85265246/ https://maxfabconsulting.com/ https://www.amazon.com/Giving-Back-Leadership-Combat-Beyond-ebook/dp/B0C51SSW2B
Lack of impulse control plagues a number of neurodivergent people. ADHD folks are especially prone to following the impulse to get that little dopamine hit.
Left of Normal people are prone to impulses as well. Often our impulses are less manic and crazy outbursts, and more stim activities.
Today, we're looking at impulsivity, impulse control, and how to help our impulsive children on the autism spectrum to rein themselves in as they feel the impulses but can control them.
Today we have a guest on the show, Genie Love is a Neurodiversity coach. She helps businesses and individuals create a better, safer, and more productive workplace for everyone - those who are left, normies, and right. With a Master's degree in educational leadership, as well as degrees in physical therapy and teaching, she has plenty of experience with those on the spectrum and across a wide swath of ages.
She talks about how she works with people, what to look for, and how to make your workplace more accommodating to everyone regardless of where they fall on the autism spectrum, or if they have other neurodivergencies like ADHD.
To learn more about her, hit up her website: www.genielove.coach
You can also find her on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/genie-love-beyond-coaching/
Or send an email to genie@genielove.coach
We have a split podcast today. I host part of it, Holden hosts part of it.
We'll talk about friendships, some of the struggles to make friends, what happens when friends aren't around.
We don't get into too much of the psychology behind having friends, why everyone needs some, and the benefits of it all, that's certainly something worth pursuing in a later episode that talks about autism and friendships. Today, we'll just cover how a Left of Normal child, and a Left of Normal adult make friends, how we feel when friends are lost, and why they're important to us.
There are some things that normies do... or rather don't do... that don't entirely make a lot of sense. It's not that hard to understand these concepts, and not hard to "do it the right way" but there's an insistence on a different way.
This episode is a bit discombobulated. Please don't downvote it even though it might be the worst episode I've uploaded yet.
Love you, mean it.
As a Left of Normal, I find myself being more logical in decision making. This means that money money management has never really been much of an issue. Not all of us are like that, some tend to get a bit more confused with things like money.
Today we'll go through how my brain processes money decisions, and how a recent money event tried to disrupt that.
Fortunately, I overpowered my emotional brain with logic, beating it back into submission in the deep recesses of my mind where it belongs.
I recently came across a meme (I posted it in the Facebook group Left of Normal on May 11th) that talked about walking on tiptoes, or toe walking, and how that's an autism trait. This got me thinking about how often I walk on my toes, and started to realize I do it a lot... way more than a normal adult anyway.
So I dug a little deeper to find out why Left of Normal folks walk on tippy toes. And why I do it.
Let's take a look at toe walking as someone on the spectrum, and what it's all about, as well as some other stims.
Nearly 1.5 million people in the US die from heart disease and cancer every year.
There are new studies showing strong correlations between our mindsets and why these issues have become so prevalent (our terrible diet isn't helping either).
Today we are looking at some of the ways our bodies and minds are not separate, but part of one overall organism, and why those on the spectrum can suffer from stress, worry, and anxiety a bit more than the normies out there.
Today we get to get a bunch of little snapshots into the mind of the Left of Normal.
This episode is all about reviewing excerpts from official diagnoses for those on the Autism Spectrum. I give my insights into why they happen, and share stories on how they have affected me throughout my life.
Plus a mini book review.
One of the defining characteristics of those with ASD is difficulty navigating social situations. Often it takes a lot of observation to fully understand what the appropriate behavior is.
Today we look at why, some annoying things normies say, and a little bit more.
There's also a story in there that includes 7 slugs.
We all know that social media can damage your mental health. There are a ton of studies that show despite what we think, it's just not good for us.
Those who are on the autism spectrum can, however, find benefit in it since there is less pressure than in-person socializing.
Today's episode goes through the handful of social accounts I maintain, what I like and dislike about them. Toward the end I get into my theory on why we feel like crud after we spend time online.
Today we get to hear from a guest! Alexander Clark, who has his own podcast and radio show, is a man of many talents. He shares some insight into what makes him tick and how he interacts with the Left of Normal community.
After listening, check his podcast Xander Speaks, and make sure to check out his radio show that launches on April 10th.
Holden joins us as we talk about a recent road trip we went on. He shares what he likes and dislikes about the trip, and we get a glimpse into these adventures through the eyes of a child.
While I did try to steer the conversation to have him talk more about emotions, feelings, and what goes on in his mind, I don't think he's quite there to recognize those things... or maybe it's the ADHD that hides it all, who knows!
If you need help mapping out your next big adventure, I'm open to working with you on it.
There are times when Left of Normal folks are tripped up. Usually it has to do with jokes, sarcasm, and otherwise using words that sound like one thing, but mean another.
Over the years, of course, I have become well adept at sarcasm and incorporate it into my every day life. But I can still be confused at times.
We talk about that, and other funny word usage in today's 'cast.
Sharing, both letting other people use our items and sharing about our personal lives can be difficult for the Left of Normal person.
Today we look at why it's hard to share toys, and what the expectations are for sharing about emotions, experiences, and the like... and what the barriers are when it comes to conversations and maintaining them.
When looking at those with ASD, there's often a defining characteristic of having a special interest.
Today, we're looking at what that even means, a talking about a handful of my own, poking the Hans Asperger topic, and looking at whether or not this is something unique to the autism community, or if it's more studied and researched as it pertains to Left of Normals.
Conversating can be hard. Sometimes it's a matter of paying attention to too many things and forgetting to say your "yups" "uh-huhs" "dangs" and "wows"
Sometimes it's not knowing what to say or how to respond.
Sometimes we just don't want to talk but other people think that everyone wants to talk to them.All this and more on how having a conversation with someone with Asperger's might not go smoothly.
One of the fringe benefits of being on the spectrum is lower executive functioning skills. Those skills include things like being able to transition from one topic to another.
While it can be used for better, to really hone in on a particular topic or task, it often makes things harder as small interruptions can cause major setbacks or delays.
The fastest way to discourage a child from greatness is to tell them that they're smart, talented, unique, etc.
Giving praise shouldn't be about the outcome, it should be about the process.
Today we look at some of the ways that those on the autism spectrum see praise, interpret it, and try to apply it. We look at better ways to encourage our kids, and how many compliments don't really spur us toward greatness, but rather hold us back.
This week we have been talking about the Zeigarnik effect, and how it uses up a ton of brain energy when we don't close out projects, thoughts, and tasks.
It goes hand in hand with procrastination.
We'll look into that, and I give a tip on how you can be more persuasive with anyone using this one simple trick (scientists hate it... or maybe they love it and doctors hate it).
When dealing with people on the spectrum, they are often seen as lacking emotion. They're also seen as not being able to show empathy or sympathy.
That's only part true. We do experience the emotions, and understand what is going on, but the outward display is often lost somewhere between our brains and our appearance.
Today we look at what these words mean, and those with ASD process these emotions.
One of the things we see a lot of is that those on the spectrum have food quirks.
Why though? Everyone has likes and dislikes, so what makes the LoN unique?
That and a handful of my likes and dislikes (and why I like and dislike them) in today's episode.
There are a lot of myths out there surrounding autism. Probably because it's really not well understood, and has largely only been studied the last 40ish years.
Along come celebrities that spout pseudo-science, and people that refuse to pursue education go ahead and repeat them.
Today we're looking at those myths, discovering why they persist, and laying down the facts around this condition.
The New Year is upon us, and that means millions of people are failing their resolutions every single day. The problem isn't with what they're after, it's how they're setting about seeking that change.
Today's 'cast dips into why I have shunned resolutions, and how the changes I want to make in my life have evolved over the years.
It's something I recognized a long time ago, but didn't know what it was until recently.
Many people on the Autism spectrum are labeled as rude, arrogant, stuck-up, or a variety of other synonyms.
Most of the time, we don't even realize that people think we're snobbish or rude. We're just minding our business, and pissing people off along the way.
Today we look at a few times when I was regarded as such, explore a little why I feel it happened, and offer some insight to the normies out there that don't quite get it.
Millions of people get a little SAD this time of year. As an adult, I can rationalize and use logic to figure out what's going on.
Left of Normal children, however, only know that something doesn't feel right. There are a few ways to help keep them going, and keep them from slipping deep into depressive thoughts.
Christmas can be an especially frustrating time for the Left of Normal person. Those frustrations are often compounded with children who are unaccustomed to coping with that frustration.
Over the years I have learned to expect the unexpected, and expect the routine disruption. It's still not comfortable, but I know it will begin, and I know it will end, and we just have to make it through.
Today we take a look at some of the toys that I remember playing with as a child. Many of them were shared with my brothers, some were my own.
Often, however, the toys weren't played with in a traditional manner. And much of what I spent my time with wasn't even toys to begin with, but rather household goods and outdated technology.
There are a handful of things that the Left of Normal mind pays attention to that we probably don't need to pay attention to.
Smiling is one of them. Today I tell you the story of how I terrified half the student body at MSU-B because I tried smiling.
That, and more quirks of being Left of Normal.
Phone calls are tedious and obnoxious. There are a lot of people that feel this way.
For the Left of Normal, however, they can tend to be even more tedious to the point where a short call can derail an entire day.
I lay it all out there as to why in the latest episode about living life on the autism spectrum.
From the time we are born, we are all trained in how we should act. We learn what is socially acceptable, and what is not.
For the Left of Normal, some of that doesn't come naturally; some feels really weird and is hard to do.
Over time we learn how to mimic what other people do. Today we look at a handful of these quirks that normies do and why they are the weirdos.
Today we take a look at how ASD isn't really a linear spectrum, but rather a wheel. If you follow the Facebook community page, there's a picture posted on November 3rd (or just google "Autism Wheel").
We'll look at how it better defines who people are, how they think, and dip into a little story on when I used to have perceived anger issues.
We have Holden back on the show as our guest. Today we're going through a handful of scenarios where Left of Normal people struggle a bit. I've mentioned my point of view in the past, and now we get a younger point of view as well.
Let's see how a child views the world and some of the things those on the spectrum struggle with.
Last week we interviewed Holden to get his idea on what being Left of Normal was all about.
This week we have reversed the roles, and Holden gets to bet he host as I answer the questions he has for me.
We talk about being Left of Normal as a child and an adult, and what difficulties were present as a child versus as an adult.
Today's episode we get to see how a 9 year old Left of Normal child sees the world.
Holden Sery joins us and talks about how he learned about Aspergers, what it has taught him about himself, and what everyone should know when dealing with an elementary aged Left of Normal.
About the 6 minute mark he talks about his special interests, notice how his tone changes and the excitement in his voice picks up.
Travel as a Left of Normal can be difficult. The change of environment, the unknowns, and the sensory overload can cause one to never want to leave the house again.
Many of us are curious on what's out there, so I developed some systems on how to make travel enjoyable without the overwhelm.
I have five tips on how to travel as a Left of Normal (something you can use with your LoN children as well).
Today we take a little look at how NDs can lead to ED and what can be done about them. We look at ASD, ADD, ADHD, and see what NT's expect and what ND's put out.
If all those letters don't make sense, especially if you're wondering how ED plays into all this, I highly recommend tuning it. I make an appeal at the end for some resources.
Some of you wanted stories about how Scott almost died. Well, I am a sucker for giving the people what they want, so I laid it all out there with one of the many times I almost died in the Pryor Mountains.
If you have any feedback on the podcast, please send it my way. I'm always trying to make this thing better for you guys, so I'd love to hear from you.
This week's theme revolves around the "growth market for autism treatments" and whether or not that's an ethical market to be making money in.
What do you think? Should medical advancements be used for profit?
Most likely you have seen someone in a movie or on TV that was on the spectrum.
Sometimes it's made known in the dialogue, other times it's just kind of implied.
Today's 'cast goes through a handful of examples, and breaks down the good, the bad, and the beneficial.
There are some tell-tale signs of being Left of Normal from a young age.
In today's 'cast we look at a few of them I remember from when I grew up. And how you can spot, and support, your Left of Normal kids.
Take a look, let me know if you recognize anything in your own kids' lives.
When you talk to people about Autism, they generally shower autistic people with platitudes about how amazing and great they are.
But the very term that's used to describe the way they think is designed to create division and label them as less great as those who are not on the spectrum.
More on that, plus some stories on how the sunshine constantly steals the souls from gingers.
Sorry about the audio on this one, something was funky with my microphone/recording software/I'm not a tech guy.
Today's 'cast we talk to Shane Fichter. Shane has trusted me to write his book for him, and it's an amazing ride with story after story.
But his big story is that he's all about discovering your mindset, and then tweaking it so that who you are works for you, instead of against you.
The Left of Normal person tends to hyperfocus on one area of interest and go all in with it.
For me, I find that one area of interest changes regularly, but then I'll come back to it again and again.
Try as I might, I can't force myself to become interested in it again until the inspiration hits and suddenly I'm all in.
Left of Normals thrive on well laid out plans. But they are often not good planners themselves.
In this 'cast, I lay out why we love that organization, and a couple anecdotes on how I'm a pretty badass planner. There's a quick question in there on what you think of my new business idea; feedback appreciated.
Nature is predictable.
That predictability, combined with a few other things, draws in the Left of Normal personality.
Today's 'cast talks about why nature is great, and how it can be used to soothe and calm the soul.
This week we have a special guest on our 'cast. The theme was ambition, drive, and motivation, so I tapped the guy that has the most ambition, drive, and motivation that I know.
Kyle Stricklin owns a handful of companies. Every project he tackles, he looks into doing it himself so he can learn more about it. He's a tech nerd and a crypto bro. He's someone that I've enjoyed getting to know over the years, and he helped me in the early stages of my business.
Jobs suck.
There area variety of factors that make them suck. From the application, to the interview, to the actual job itself.
When employers don't even know the first thing about ASD, it makes them even harder.
In Episode 63 we went into how a good majority of small talk is filled up with questions for the sake of questions.
That raised some questions.
So today, we get back into it with the small talk, the questions asked, and clarify some of the terms that I use throughout the this episode and in several other episodes as well.
There are a number of social interactions that I understand the purpose, the goal, and the end result.
But they don't make any sense as to why the occur... or why they're done in that manner instead of a more efficient or beneficial manner.
One of those is our fascination with asking pointless questions during a conversation.
There is no cure for aspergers or autism. Mostly because those who have it don't need to be cured.
Life can get a little bit overwhelming at times. When the physical body is functioning optimally, the mind can overcome those overwhelming times more quickly and efficiently.
Today's guest, Dr. Shayla talks about chiropractic care and how joint adjustments can lead to big benefits.
There's a correlation between being Left of Normal, and having your left side be the dominant side.
Some studies suggest it has to do with echolalia.
Today's episode gets into that, and gives you a great analogy of what it's like to be on the spectrum.
Left of Normal people don't have that intuition on how to navigate some social interactions. Normies seem to be born with it, we learn it through observation.
Sometimes, however, there is no observable interaction to base our behavior off of.
This can be good, leading to a new and un-thought of perspective. But often it leads to being more or less ostracized even further.
We have new listeners. We have old listeners that can use a refresher. Today's episode talks about what Left of Normal is all about.
Here I talk about how the spectrum should actually look. Where myself, and many other people, fall on that spectrum.
And I dispel some myths about the spectrum, and being Left of Normal.
I learn so much about myself when reading about ASD.
For example, I learned that I'm supposed to be uncoordinated, clumsy, and not very good at sports.
I must have missed the memo, because while I'm not great at team sports, I'm definitely great at individualized sports.
We get into that, and more, in today's episode that's all about sportsing.
Today we have a guest on that likes to talk.
Fortunately, he was able to tone it down a bit and we were able to have a shorter and good conversation about talking.
Aubrey Kincaid has a lot of great information on how to figure out what you love, and when you can do that you can focus on the activities that bring you the green. Green as in cash money.
I hate the term woke, but it gives off the right vibe for this podcast that's all about self-awareness and awareness of what's going on around us.
Today we look at where the Left of Normal stands on knowing about themselves and other people. And how we're constantly checking in to see if things are going the right way.
Communication, especially informal conversation, can be difficult for the Left of Normal.
In part because body language is often misinterpreted, but also because as humans we give subtle hints instead of saying what we mean.
These hints are missed or misconstrued by the Left of Normal mind. Pandemonium ensues.
Growing up I was always the weird quiet kid.
As an adult, I'm still weird and quiet (unless you get a couple beers in me).
There are many reasons on why the Left of Normal person prefers to stay a little quieter (one big one is so we don't make social blunders due to obnoxious social norms), and why we prefer to write things instead of say them.
Check it out.
Today we have a special guest on the show.
I met Gary Carson through some networking events. We just kept bumping into each other often, so we got to know each other.
Now, a few years later, we've transitioned from the bumping into each other at networking events, to being friends.
Gary is amazing with his tech savviness, and has a great heart for helping people no matter what they need.
Trying to find a job is difficult enough. It's even worse when you're judged based on how many times you smile and make eye contact.
Today's 'cast looks at on the job situations, interviews, and applications. We talk about why arbitrary rules set people up for failure, and how those conducting interviews look at personality far more than qualifications.
The Left of Normal mind processes information in a logical sequence. If this, then that.
When given instructions that are loaded with subtle hints, or even just interactions that contain subtle hints, the resulting performance misses the mark. If you say one thing, then it is interpreted as that thing.
The result is that it's the fault of the Left of Normal person, not the person giving poor directions.
I never thought I had many routines... until I looked and noticed all the little routines that I do throughout the day.
Today's episode talks about why Left of Normals like routines, and what happens when the routine is destroyed.
Today's episode kicks off a new theme for the upcoming year.
Left of Normal will be hosting guests on the podcast, where we can dive deeper into the differences between lefts, normies, and rights.
Today's episode we get to hear from the lovely Jessica Sery.
Today we have a little more of a scattered 'cast, because there were so many details I wasn't sure which ones to put in. And because I'm focused on all these details, I was struggling to find the big picture that they all point to.
I'll do better in the future, I promise.
But for today, here's a glimpse at what details mean to the Left of Normal, and how we can often miss the big picture because we're focused on the deets.
Clothing causes a lot of frustration. It took a long time to realize the frustration, and where it was coming from.
Despite what my subconscious scripts tell me, clothing can be changed in order to create a better day. And even though I don't want to get rid of clothes, it's often better to toss the ill-fitting ugly ones, and wear the things that feel good.
Also, black socks are the best socks.
Many of those who are Left of Normal are seen as quieter and more introspective.
It's not always a social anxiety thing that keeps us quiet. Usually there are a bunch of factors that come into play that culminate in the idea that it's easier to just stay silent.
Meeting new people is a pressure.
There's a quick analysis that needs to be done, the situation needs sized up, the conversation needs mapped out, the questions need considered, and the name needs remembered... and there's about 1.5 seconds to figure all of that out.
But because of the Left of Normal friendship cycle, we can get stuck having to do this over and over and over.
Listen in as I explain what's up.
If you take the brain of a boy and a girl, and put them next to each other, there will be physical differences.
If you take the brain of someone on the autism spectrum and put it next to a normie's brain there will be physical differences.
But there is still uncertainty as to why boys are 4 times as likely to be diagnosed than girls.
Today's podcast goes into a little speculation, looks at the science, and more.
On occasion I come across posts and information that is just wrong.
Recently, I stumbled on one that said "there is no autism spectrum"
While this shouldn't be an issue, it appears that it actually is. And today's podcast talks a little bit about the spectrum, why there NEEDS to be one, and goes into some of the blunders that people make when talking to those on the spectrum as well as about the Left of Normal person in general.
Every year there are some pretty wild parties that go on to bring in the New Year. And I love to attend them! The more people there that I don't know the better because it's a great way to get to know all sorts of people...
Yeah, not so much.
It's not a secret that the Left of Normal person isn't going to want a big party. So today's podcast is going to get into a little bit more on New Year's Resolutions and how I've managed to keep mine for 20+ years now!
It's almost time for Christmas!
So let's dig into what makes a Left of Normal have a good Christmas, and what makes them cringe, shudder, and remember the worst Christmas of their lives almost 30 years later.
I'll give you a hint, don't mix up stockings.
One of the most recognizable traits of a Left of Normal is that we love to avoid eye contact. It's weird, awkward, and a bit disturbing.
We can learn how to do it, but it never gets less weird.
Listen in as I explain why it's dumb, and what goes through the Left of Normal mind when we're trying to maintain eye contact in a conversation.
We all experience emotions differently.
I have them, but I don't like most of them. So I make sure to squash them down so that they just go away.
Today we'll talk a bit about emotions, how a Left of Normal processes them, and how they're displayed outwardly so that you can better understand the Lefts in your life.
Today we dig into the most wonderful time of the year.
But I'm pretty sure that's just something Hallmark said to sell more presents, or cards, or whatever.
All of those decorations are great, unless they're not. And lights are fun, but not really the chaotic ones that move around a lot. Here's how the Left of Normal mind processes decorating for Christmas.
This episode is going to drop on Black Friday.
I really don't like shopping. And to have an entire day dedicated to shopping makes it even worse.
I'll walk you through how I despise shopping, why I despise it, how I cope, and a little rant about the associate that insists on asking if I found everything okay. No I didn't find everything okay, you've rearranged since the last time I was in the store!
I don't mind the concept behind giving thanks. And the idea of eating a bunch of food is cool too. What I'm not real crazy about is everything that surrounds Thanksgiving.
Today we take a look at how irritating it is growing up as a Left of Normal and dealing with family, food, friends, and football simply because that's what you have been instructed to do on Thanksgiving.
Next year I vow to do 30 days of rants instead of 30 days of thanks. Please hold me to that.
About a fifth of Americans suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder - SAD. It's nothing to be ashamed of, when the sun goes away, often the joy does as well.
But there are ways to deal with it, sometimes with medication, sometimes with meditation, and sometimes with logic.
In today's episode I argue the case for Daylight Saving Time, and explain how I logically eliminate the SAD that can creep on in.
In this episode of Left of Normal we look at some of the issues I have with organization, and some of the organizational methods I use (even if they don't look very organized).
I also touch on how those farther left on the Autism spectrum line things up in a seemingly nonsensical manner, and the reason they do so.
Of course my podcast on organization feels to me a bit unorganized. But I was having trouble putting my brain thoughts into cohesive patterns.
This week we have been exploring favorite subjects, and why many Left of Normals enjoy math. It's likely because math is predictable, and we thrive on predictability.
We'll dip into a little more about that in today's episode, looking at math, people, worldviews, and why my subconscious decided what I should study in college even though I didn't realize why I was choosing that area of study.
My daddy always told me you either get busy talkin' or you get busy dyin'.
Actually, nobody told me that. In fact, most of the time talking is cumbersome and annoying. But it all depends on who you're with and how well you know the person.
Today we talk about talking. And how a left of normal views conversations.
This week we looked into perfectionism. Today's podcast goes into how the idea that something won't turn out perfect (or at least as intended) causes projects to never even get started.
A couple of anecdotes on how my day/week was ruined when things didn't go perfectly as well.
Please share, and feedback is always appreciated!
Today's episode topic comes to you courtesy of Ian Ullman.
The first half anyway. Ian tells us be you, not someone else. And he says to embrace your awkward the way Scott does on Left of Normal. So I spent the first part of the episode talking about why everything is so awkward (I blame normies).
The second half is a little test bit... do you like it? Change it? Get rid of it? Let me know!
I don't believe I will ever have to interview for another job. Not in the traditional sense anyway.
Today's podcast plays off a question that I asked in the Facebook group on Wednesday. It laments the idea that when you have a Left of Normal personality, it's a bit harder to put on that bubbly cheerful disposition and schmooze your way into a job.
So, I did what any sane person would do. I created my own job, and offered the position to myself. It's something I teach people how to do through my course at www.notogrow.com
Sensory issues are a big part of those being Left of Normal. A lot of it is seen as just a weird quirk to those that don't understand it.
Recognizing, and guarding, those issues are what help us to remain focused on what's actually important... for instance the words coming out of your mouth instead of the piercing gaze you insist I stare into.
But the other senses come into play as well. This episode gives some insights.
20-some years ago, my friend Clay made a comment that has played through my head hundreds of times.
"This kid can entertain himself"
Today's episode I work through what I felt that meant, how I reacted, and how Clay then almost shot me right in the butt with a dart.
I also tell a lot of people that they're horrible people... because they are. You have to listen to the end for that part though.
We've made it to half a year of Left of Normal!
More or less we've caught up with the timeline of how I managed to survive until this point.
But today, we take a look at how I mask that inability to really know what's going on with kicking balls really hard. And how a big part of my networking is merely playing sports that are fun to play.
At some point I figured if I wanted to actually make a career out of writing I would have to work my way back into the world of associating with adults. Even though playing with a baby all day long is much easier and much more fun, being an adult is responsible or something.
So I had to figure out how to meet people that needed my services.
And I started attending some networking events. But I switched up my mindset from one where I would go and drum up all this amazing business for myself to one where I would go and get a good meal and a couple drinks for eight bucks.
Check out my analysis of the small talk dance and why interacting with adults is stupid because for some reason that's what we always choose to talk about.
Ever since I got done with college, my dream career was to be retired. I can't think of anything better than to not ever have to work.
So, when the opportunity came along that I got to stay home and play with a baby all day long, and work during nap times, some evenings, and weekends, that was great.
Of course, I was still just kind of blundering along. I hadn't taken the time to look inside and see why this was so much better than going to an office, doing financial advising, or even helping kids in treatment.
After finding out that I could make money writing things, I thought to myself, "Self, why don't you do more of this?"
So I did. I learned lessons, some of them the hard way, about running a writing business. But somehow I succeeded, probably due to the fact that clocking in to a job every day is soul sucking and terrible so there's no way I wanted to do that forever.
Today's episode takes a look at how we all have certain skills. And when we use them properly, we can make money without slogging through a job we hate.
After I got canned from Rimrock Insurance, I spent a summer fishing and working on the house. I knew I would eventually need a job, but for the time being I was enjoying the world of not having one.
By the end of that summer I was employed by Mark Sorlie, helping him to analyze portfolios and do the investment side of things for his business. It was good, but not great... not entirely what I needed to thrive.
Then I discovered the world of letters instead of numbers. The beginning of where I am now.
Just like when going through how I handled school, I largely forgot about how I handled not school. Now, as an adult, I've been going through how I handled work, and largely have forgotten about how I handled not work.
So I put together a bonus episode about the time I beat a small pine tree with a stick... and got engaged somewhere in there as well.
Check it out, it's only like 6 minutes long or something.
Half a lifetime ago I worked at Walmart. I'm pretty sure my stint at Rimrock Insurance was actually shorter.
In today's episode we take a look at my foray into the auto insurance world. On paper it looked like a good job (aside from the payment schedule and options). In reality, it was soul sucking.
To top it all off, I wasn't (and still am not) great at standing up for myself. I show how a Left takes a passive route that ends up... well, not good.
When I was a wee lad I watched a documentary on being a stock broker. I thought it was really cool, so one day I decided to be one.
I knew it would take some sales work, but I thought it would be more geared to how good a person was with numbers.
In reality, it's geared to how good a person is with sales. Over the years I met with a lot of really dumb people that were good with talking so they were very successful as financial advisors.
That hot take and more as I explain yet another failure in the quest to be normal.
After quitting grad school, I was back in Montana with no hope, no job, no career aspirations, and wondering what to do with my life.
So, I did what any other self respecting young adult would do; I went back to my former employer and pleaded for my job back.
Fortunately for Jessica Sery, I did so. Because it wasn't long before she had the honor of meeting me.
After taking a year off college, I had a bunch of bad news... then some good news.
In the fall, I headed down to Texas A&M and started the Nautical Archaeology program. The schooling was awesome, the program exciting, and I learned a lot.
But the most important lesson learned was that I'm not quite as independent as I thought I was.
Between college and grad school I needed a job. Walmart hired me at 39 hours a week (so they didn't have to pay full time benefits).
It was a dark 6 week period of my life that was brightened up by the mere fact that I didn't have to talk to many customers in the oil changing department.
Eventually I moved on to the Yellowstone Boys and Girls Ranch; a fortuitous move as that's where I met my wife.
Let's take a look at how a Left of Normal person spends those summers when school is out.
For me, one involved digging up the past. Literally, digging in the dirt and excavating artifacts in Israel.
Another involved digging into peoples' lives and spreading the joy that I have found in Christ.
Both taught very different yet equally important lessons.
Let's talk about acting.
Really, it's all about putting on performances in front of groups of people. Random skits, funny bits, and the like.
But also, there's a message in this one for the professors. Something that 17 years later still irritates the heck out of me.
Eventually I transferred from Billings to Bozeman to complete my undergrad work. But to get there, I first had to test the waters.
To do so, I relied on my older brother, once again, to help plug me into the right social groups, vouch for my sanity, and have my back in case I messed up.
It was a lot easier than dipping my toe into high school, because by 18/19 years old, I had the performance down quite well.
We're back into it, and graduating from high school. The summer after was filled with lighting fires and blowing things up.
But venturing into college was a big eye opener. One where I learned how to tweak my behavior to elicit the appropriate response in a social situation that I didn't fully understand.
In other words: how to manipulate people so you don't look like a fool.
Sometime around 3rd grade I went on my first backpacking trip. Since then, I have loved getting into the woods, climbing mountains, and overall just being outdoors.
It took me a long time to understand why, but with the Left of Normal brain, it makes complete sense.
One of the ways I benefitted in high school was finding friends that have stuck by me to this day. There were two core groups of friends; one where I learned how to do groups of friends, and one where I integrated in.
Not mentioned in this episode is Zach Kilwein, who I now spend more time with than any of the others. The reason: he found his way in toward the end of my senior year and thus will pop up in later episodes.
There wasn't really mayhem. Maybe only in my mind. Going to a public school I learned that high school is childish, people are mean, and teasing hurts.
I also learned that Spanish is easy to learn, math is cool, and science is awesome. So by focusing on school I didn't dwell on other students' actions.
In 9th grade I started at West High, but ended up back at Shiloh Christian Academy. During that time I got in trouble a lot.
But it was also a safe place where I could practice social "stuff" and learn how to do public school so that the next transition didn't go quite as poorly as the first.
High school is not a friendly place for Left of Normals.
This episode is a little shorter than others as it sets the foundation and gives some important background information.
In this episode we go through my first attempt at transitioning into a public school... and why it didn't go over so well.
After jumping into 7th grade as an 11 year old, I was suddenly in a new "performance" that I didn't have a script for.
Since I wasn't sure how to act, what to say, or how the play was directed, I fell back on old reliable: my totally amazing sense of humor.
It more or less worked out.
For a little over half of my schooling, I attended a private school. Part of that experience was the transition from grade school to middle school.
But like most of me, my transition wasn't normal. Tune in to see how, and for an important warning to parents.
From third grade through ninth grade I attended a private Christian school that was a part of our church. It was a whole different kind of education; one that largely involved working at your own pace.
This curriculum was good academically, but bad socially. In the end, it took a number of years to catch up despite academic success.
Nearly every picture of me from age 2ish to 7ish I'm stifling a smile. It's there, but I'm trying to hide it.
I didn't understand why at the time, and I don't fully understand the thoughts I had. But I now know it's because I was worried that I would smile wrong.
We have the groundwork set, so let's look at what I have determined to be the reasoning behind behavior quirks.
Today, we look at why the weird kid is always so quiet. And a cringey story that sparked the realization that I need to shut the hell up.
Remember, let's connect on facebook.com/groups/leftofnormalcommunity
Our behaviors & thought processes are controlled by a number of different factors. To simply say it's left or right of normal isn't seeing the entire picture.
Introversion and extroversion play a part.
In today's episode, we go through what I call the four quadrants; different personality types based on how the individual identifies.
Find the community at www.facebook.com/groups/leftofnormalcommunity/
Welcome to the first episode of Left of Normal.
Before we get started, let me say that I'm new to this. If you have feedback, please get in touch so we can all continue to improve.
In the first two episodes, I want to go through what it means to be Left of Normal. Why I chose that title, and what it means to be left, or right, of normal. We're here to build a community, and awareness of like minded people.