Channel 6

Thrill to the sounds of our preshow meeting (we have those, usually accidentally), in which we try to decide whether USC or UCLA conducted their overnight midseason firing better
We are no better at identifying Clay Helton's face or age than we used to be, as it turns out
Lotta accents in this episode, we're gonna warn you right now
The cure for male loneliness, revealed
Here's the aquatic Disney heist photo Ryan wants you to have
Folks, have you heard about this exploding Costco wine
Scotland Appreciation Time
The doink, re-envisioned
Coach firing draft update: Will Ecked be the new Croomed?
Accidental Clemson Appreciation Time
Which host introduces the concept of "Jon Gruden Pizza Sex Party"? The answer may surprise you!
The last 15 minutes are mostly about college football, promise
Now through September 30, 100% of proceeds from PTKU merch will be donated to Mid-South Trans Nation. Visit preownedairboats.com to find the finest Blue Sharks gear and other Fullcast-related items
Subscribe to our new $4 Patreon for more Fullcast stuff big and small, including After Dark episodes each CFB weekend
This episode produced by Michael Ray Surber
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Matt
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz and his new show, Podcasterino
Check out Jason's critically praised novel and other work
DID YOU KNOW: Spencer writes Channel 6, a year-round newsletter, mostly about football until it's not

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Week 2 of the college football season approaches. With at least ten games yet to be played for all teams, it’s time to decide which coaches are going to be fired.
Now through September 30, 100% of proceeds from PTKU merch will be donated to Mid-South Trans Nation. Visit preownedairboats.com to find the finest Blue Sharks gear and other Fullcast-related items
This episode was produced by Michael Ray Surber
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Trey McClure
Subscribe to our new $4 Patreon for more Fullcast stuff big and small, including After Dark episodes each CFB weekend
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz and his new show, Podcasterino
Check out Jason's critically praised novel and other work
DID YOU KNOW: Spencer writes Channel 6, a year-round newsletter, mostly about football until it's not

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Not a lot to talk about following Week 1 but we’ll try our best
Now through September 30, 100% of proceeds from PTKU merch will be donated to Mid-South Trans Nation. Visit preownedairboats.com to find the finest Blue Sharks gear and other Fullcast-related items
This episode was produced by Michael Ray Surber
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham
Subscribe to our new $4 Patreon for more Fullcast stuff big and small, including After Dark episodes each CFB weekend
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz and his new show, Podcasterino
Listen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot exist
Check out Jason's critically praised novel and other work
DID YOU KNOW: Spencer also writes Channel 6, his own year-round newsletter, which is mostly about football unless it's not
Visit HOMEFIELDAPPAREL DOT COM for all your comfy vintage oh-fficially licensed collegiate apparel needs

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A review of Week 0, the college football soft open
Today we learned we're on the IMDB trivia page for Terry Boatass
Ryan has a (non-lethal! Probably) game
If you were wondering how After Dark is going to work this season, that information is now available to you
Let's work up a nice hate-on for the Week 1 schedule, shall we
Which team earns the distinction of "Hot Marshall"?
Which player does Surber not trust because he has "butthole eyes"?
Now through September 30, 100% of proceeds from PTKU merch will be donated to Mid-South Trans Nation. Visit preownedairboats.com to find the finest Blue Sharks gear and other Fullcast-related items
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Trey McClure
Subscribe to our new $4 Patreon for more Fullcast stuff big and small, including After Dark episodes each CFB weekend
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz and his new show, Podcasterino
Listen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot exist
Check out Jason's critically praised novel and other work
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write Channel 6, their own year-round newsletter, mostly about football until it's not
Visit HOMEFIELDAPPAREL DOT COM for all your comfy vintage oh-fficially licensed collegiate apparel needs

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How we found out more employees of Honeybaked Ham listen to the Fullcast than any media executives we've ever worked with or for
Jason and Spencer watch the new War of the Worlds "movie"
Time at long last for the return of everybody's favorite segment, "read this week's schedule aloud"
Now through September 30, 100% of proceeds from PTKU merch will be donated to Mid-South Trans Nation. Visit preownedairboats.com to find the finest Blue Sharks gear and other Fullcast-related loot
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Clayton Moore
Subscribe to our new $4 Patreon for more Fullcast stuff big and small, including After Dark episodes each CFB weekend
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz and his new show, Podcasterino
Listen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot exist
Check out Jason's critically praised novel and other work
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write Channel 6, their own year-round newsletter, mostly about football until it's not
Visit HOMEFIELDAPPAREL DOT COM for all your comfy vintage oh-fficially licensed collegiate apparel needs

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You might have heard, but Michigan won the Charity Bowl again this spring. In celebration of that fine victory and the extension of Michigan's historic Charity Bowl winning streak, the EDSBS Extended Universe delivered three prizes for the enjoyment of our wealthy and generous donors. Two of these rewards were live events, held in Ann Arbor in June and in Atlanta in July. Here is the third and final token of our boundless appreciation for the Charity Bowl community and this year's record-shattering fundraising haul: One hourlong bonus episode in which notorious Michigan foil Steven Godfrey has to say nice things about the Wolverines.
To make matters worse, he's actually sincere. It's weird for us too, but here we are!
Also appearing in this episode is actual UM degree-holder, erudite ball-knower and dear friend Jane Coaston, who joins Ryan, Spencer, and Holly to drag Godfrey through the cleansing waters of Lake Michigan.
Together, we celebrate the madness of the 2024 college football season and welcome Wolverines home to their true spiritual stomping grounds: The SEC.
Now through September 30, 100% of proceeds from PTKU merch will be donated to Mid-South Trans Nation. Visit preownedairboats.com to find the finest Blue Sharks gear and other Fullcast-related items
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Russell Powell
Subscribe to our new $4 Patreon for more Fullcast stuff big and small, including After Dark episodes each CFB weekend
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz and his new show, Podcasterino
Listen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot exist
Check out Jason's critically praised novel and other work
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write Channel 6, their own year-round newsletter, mostly about football until it's not
Visit HOMEFIELDAPPAREL DOT COM for all your comfy vintage oh-fficially licensed collegiate apparel needs

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A comprehensive exploration of the retail ham space
Matt Stafford gets his Goop on
Believe it or not it's a pretty straightforward path from there to the live frog in Russell Wilson's pillowcase
Now through September 30, 100% of proceeds from PTKU merch will be donated to Mid-South Trans Nation. Visit preownedairboats.com to find the finest Blue Sharks gear and other Fullcast-related items
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Christian Ashlock
Subscribe to our new $4 Patreon for more Fullcast stuff big and small, including After Dark episodes each CFB weekend
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz and his new show, Podcasterino
Listen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot exist
Check out Jason's critically praised novel and other work
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write Channel 6, their own year-round newsletter, mostly about football until it's not
Visit HOMEFIELDAPPAREL DOT COM for all your comfy vintage oh-fficially licensed collegiate apparel needs

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Wwwwwwwelcome! to a MINIATURE SATURDAY SHUTDOWN FULLCAST PRESEASON SURPRISE
You might have guessed from the episode title, but this here is our guide to the 2025 Homefield Can't Miss Kickoff Tour, presented by Modelo
What is the 2025 Homefield Can't Miss Kickoff Tour, presented by Modelo? Listen to the episode!
Check out alleged other podcasts Phantom Island and Split Zone Duo to learn about the rest of the tour
That thing about Alex's wedding is not a joke, btw
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Wes Hunt
Subscribe to our new $4 Patreon for more Fullcast stuff big and small, including After Dark episodes each CFB weekend
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz and his new show, Podcasterino
Listen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot exist
Check out Jason's critically praised novel and other work
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write Channel 6, their own year-round newsletter, concerning football and also unfootball things
As always, visit HOMEFIELDAPPAREL DOT COM for all your comfy vintage oh-fficially licensed collegiate apparel needs

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In this season of change, in this time of turmoil, the show returns to its roots (they're on the moon)
HOT WASPS IN YOUR AREA??
Introducing Season 5 of the Shutdown Fullcast, only at FREE LIFE INSURANCE DOT HORSE
Spencer has a game, which comes with a sound effect we were not warned about in advance and bear no medical liability for. Please enjoy listening to the rest of the hosts experience that for the first time as you yourselves experience it in real time.
There is also a voice. This is your only warning
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by north-without-end
Subscribe to our new $4 Patreon for more Fullcast stuff big and small, including After Dark episodes each CFB weekend.
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz and his new show, Podcasterino
Listen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot exist
Check out Jason's critically praised novel and other work
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write Channel 6, their own year-round newsletter, concerning football and also unfootball things
Visit HOMEFIELDAPPAREL DOT COM for all your comfy vintage oh-fficially licensed collegiate apparel needs

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Let's join hands and figure out how to sneak Ryan into Hulk Hogan's funeral (for work)
Inventing a new pasta (for men)
Hot January is here, and it's awful
Which coaches would we rather see run for Senate than Derek Dooley? Turns out it's "most of them"
Let's reexamine some things we thought we knew about the Little Mermaid
Coming Attractions: The Hawgronomicon
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by David Cook
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz and his new show, Podcasterino: https://rss.com/podcasts/podcasterino-pod1/
Listen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is not a college football show because another simply cannot exist, at falconscottproductionsfcom
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, concerning football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io

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Pondering the two great mysteries of the universe: Blake Bortles and Benicio del Toro
It's possible that Batman chronology is not our strong suit, as a group. Do not correct us
What's the loudest concert you've ever been to?
Jimbo lets us down, again, but in a different way this time
[SAW enclosure clanks shut behind you] oh look honey, Ryan has a new game for us
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz and his podcast, Podcasterino: https://rss.com/podcasts/podcasterino-pod1/
Check out Kickback Soccer Media, a new soccer media company with Fullcast After Dark producer Doug at the helm of a new show there: https://kickbacksoccer.com/
Listen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is not a college football show because a second simply cannot exist, at falconscottproductions.com
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, concerning football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io

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Fresh tracks!
Corrections!
Surber is French now!
College Football 26 tribulations befall our coaches!
Important Indiana football announcement!
Let's play a game!
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Nick Kivi (ft. Bum Chillups) (The Surber Remix)
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz and his podcast, Podcasterino: https://rss.com/podcasts/podcasterino-pod1/
Listen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is not a college football show because a second simply cannot exist, at falconscottproductions.com
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, featuring football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io

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Marriages are complicated. Today, let's discuss different fighting styles to apply to various action stars you've caught in torrid embraces with your wife
Welcome to GronkAI ™
The return of Ryan As Jigsaw with a fun new game that makes everybody mad
An innovative new scheduling idea for Mississipppi State
Who would like to sponsor Spencer and Ryan's crying tour through Ireland
Another innovative new scheduling idea for everybody else
Initial NCAA '26 reactions
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Wes Hunt
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz and his podcast Podcasterino: https://rss.com/podcasts/podcasterino-pod1/
Listen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is not a college football show because a second simply cannot exist, at falconscottproductions.com
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, featuring football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io

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Get ready for the 2025 Tour de France and learn which award we are stealing from the race for college football
Choose your Frisco Lady Fighter
A brief tour of early Hot Dog Eating Contests
Hoopfest: Medical Nightmare or Safest Sport of All Time?
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Christian Ashlock
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz
Listen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is not a college football show because a second simply cannot exist, at falconscottproductions.com
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, featuring football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io

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Let's remember some boys: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2004/08/30/the-boys-4
Breaking some college basketball news to Spencer
Hideo Kojima reveals himself to either be a longtime listener or our personal puppeteer
We put Ryan in space- College World Series film breakdown
Tracing the historical legacy of college football coaches getting thrown out of games, featuring field legends Will Muschamp and Woody Hayes
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Matthew Flovski
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz
Listen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is not a college football show because a second simply cannot exist, at falconscottproductions.com
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, featuring football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io

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Parade bad
Smell worse
Give Gravedigger a gun
Pre-writers busted
Fun new game for first responders
We know how to fix the NBA Finals
Souvenons-nous de quelques gars de chaise
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Trey McClure
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz
Listen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is not a college football show because a second simply cannot exist, at falconscottproductions.com
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, featuring football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io/

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This is somehow the first episode where Ryan has reason to ask Spencer "Are you recording your living will right now?"
We're joined by Scott of Action Cookbook fame in an attempt to fix the annoying parts of the college football postseason.
We do accomplish that goal by the end of the episode. We're calling this solution "The Knockout Game," a term of our own invention
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz
Listen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is not a college football show because a second simply cannot exist, at falconscottproductions.com
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, featuring football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io/

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It's time once again for our annual Italian cycling episode, and Cap'n Surber's got the mic
What endurance athletes can learn from elite hot-dog eaters
A Ryan segment serving as a reminder that we are also the nation's leading NAIA baseball podcast
The legend(s) of Rev The River Monster
Women's College World Series celebratory segment, pointedly and hurtfully excluding Stanford
Moving through our typical progression, we come next to the Knicks coaching search
All of this sounds made up and somehow is not. It is June
Please bring back the celebrity summer sports shows. Thanks
John Currie, welcome back to the Tennessee group chat extended universe
Trade secrets about preseason rankings, divulged
Jason takes us out on a heater
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Trey McClure
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz
Listen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is not a college football show because a second simply cannot exist, at falconscottproductions.com
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, featuring football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io/

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For the holiday week, we bring you a treat: the unearthed recording of our summer 2024 live show in Raleigh, North Carolina, featuring the third installment of our most popular running disaster theme: lawns and the calamities that befall them
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Russell Powell
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz
Listen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is not a college football show because a second simply cannot exist, at falconscottproductions.com
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, featuring football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io/

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First order of business: Ryan selects a new CEO for college football
Second order of business: What is the ideal name for each position player in football?
Lots of announcements in this one, helpfully collected for you in the podcast business section right smack in the middle of the episode
Help us run up the score on intrepid reader Emily’s fundraiser for Georgia STOMP: https://secure.givelively.org/donate/georgia-stomp-inc/emily-brand-0
RSVP for the June 28th Charity Bowl celebration in Ann Arbor at pizzawestern.com
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Trey McClure
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz
Listen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is not a college football show because a second simply cannot exist, at falconscottproductions.com
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, featuring football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io/

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It is time to be concerned about Ryan's emotional processing
What do Interstellar, Little Giants, and Grave of the Fireflies have in common?
The Legend of Cookie Man
Spencer identifies the true fast food restaurant of Saudi Arabia
An important discussion about Michael Jordan winning Luc Longley's clothing
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Michael Sitler
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz
Listen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is not a college football show because a second simply cannot exist, at falconscottproductions.com
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, featuring football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io/

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Folks we're fighting the atheists with our heavenly dicks again
Let's use that viral soda map to do conference realignment
Perils of the new GTA
Ryan is mad about the Kentucky Derby for reasons you probably cannot predict but we hope you will appreciate
Where to go for lunch in America
Test driving our Mike Lombardi voices
Critical support to the gotcha merchants at CBS Sunday Morning
Staring uneasily at the normies cresting the horizon of the Belichick chronicle
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Nathan Berry
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz
Listen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is not a college football show because a second simply cannot exist, at falconscottproductions.com
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, featuring football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io/

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Spencer and Jason welcome Joel Anderson for a discussion of this year’s biggest NFL draft surprises, and also all the theme parks they have been to where people have died.
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz
Sign up for update's about Ryan's secret new project at falconscottproductions.com
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, featuring football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io/

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This episode starts with "Vatican III is for dogs," if you want to set your expectations ahead of time
The Haint ™ is also feeling EXTRA festive, so just prepare yourselves spiritually for that
We are minus one Ryan this week and plus one Victoria Zeller. Double celebrity author show!! Pre-order Victoria's book here, if you're a ball-knower or would like to be perceived as such: https://victoria.monster/#bookdrive
Charity Bowl results are in! Y'all blew us away! You can see the results at moneycannon.org. LET US NOW SING THE PRAISES OF THE MATTIVERSE
It's NFL Draft week, apparently, so we're drafting discontinued fast food items
This is an exercise that seems harmless enough but results in a confession from Spencer more horrifying than any Ricky Gervais voice he's ever done
Spencer crosses the bar
An unexpected wildlife encounter at Holly's place provides us with a rare unintentional cliffhanger
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Russell Powell
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz
Sign up for update's about Ryan's secret new project at falconscottproductions.com
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, featuring football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io/

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Welcome to Charity Bowl week, now featuring new tools to track how badly you're beating your rivals at https://www.moneycannon.org/
The questions mainstream media isn't asking about Steve Belichick - Finding coaches with overly long Wikipedia career summaries
The Cursed Island of the 2007 Atlanta Falcons
Maybe this is the Charity Bowl stretch goal Spencer will fulfill
This week's theme song by Trey McClure
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz
Sign up for update's about Ryan's secret new project at https://www.falconscottproductions.com/
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, featuring football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io/

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Ryan shares a bold vision of the future for EA Sports' flagship college football property
Final Four Recap
Which teams in what sports do we think we could coach to a precise .500 record in one season?
A refresher course for fired coaches
The 2025 Charity Bowl begins on April 14
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Russell Powell
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz
Sign up for update's about Ryan's secret new project at falconscottproductions.com
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, featuring football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io/

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Holly contemplates some recreational tree surgery
Meet a new Lady Uncle
Major League Baseball injury report
Requisitioning elements of other sports to build a better or at least more interesting form of college football
Merch Madness totals announced and new PTKU initiative unveiled!
The 2025 Charity Bowl begins on April 14
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Nick Kivi
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, featuring football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io/

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Ryan shares his bold new vision for personal banking
Spencer gets a new nickname
Yes, Venom is also in this episode. You're welcome
A dive into the lore of Gatorlode®
"How do y'all vomit?"
This will eventually be known as "the Halle Berry episode" for a couple different reasons, and we're confident you will be surprised by both of them!
Tips for Men: Maximize productivity in your morning routines!
Is This Movie A Sports Movie? <--- discuss
It's Merch Madness time! What's that mean? Several things! First, we've got some new items up in the Shutdown Fullstore (www.preownedairboats.com) celebrating Protect Trans Kids University
But that's not all: From now through the end of the month (that month is March 2025), ALL proceeds from our store – PTKU gear, Antioch the Birthday Spider greeting cards, everything – will be divided evenly and donated to Trans Lifeline (https://translifeline.org/), the Transgender Law Center (https://transgenderlawcenter.org/), and Point of Pride (https://www.pointofpride.org/)
The celebration won't stop there; more about that at the end of the month
And coming up next month: The 2025 Charitibundi Bowl begins on April 14
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Becca Lynch
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, featuring football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io/

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Recorded October 2024 at Furnace Fest
Our loudest WWWWWWWWWWELCOME ever
Closing pitcher Gasolina Shark
Anatomically correct UGA band formation
Yes, Michigan-Ohio State has always been like this
Rock Jam Cock/Christ Fest
I gotta save my family’s bass clarinet farm
The rap song you should never play in Philly
Country Roads circle pit
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, featuring football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
All Fullcast merch purchased in March will benefit Trans Lifeline, the Transgender Law Center, and Point of Pride https://preownedairboats.com/
Same goes for all sales in March of Jason's novel https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/p/novel
We're not really on Twitter any more. Find us at shutdownfullcast.bsky.social

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We have invented several new forms of golf
It's Merch Madness time! What's that mean? Several things! First, we've got some new items up in the Shutdown Fullstore (www.preownedairboats.com) celebrating Protect Trans Kids University
But that's not all: From now through the end of the month (that month is March 2025), ALL proceeds from our store – PTKU gear, Antioch the Birthday Spider greeting cards, everything – will be divided evenly and donated to Trans Lifeline (https://translifeline.org/), the Transgender Law Center (https://transgenderlawcenter.org/), and Point of Pride (https://www.pointofpride.org/)
The celebration won't stop there; more about that at the end of the month
And coming up next month: The 2025 Charitibundi Bowl begins on April 14
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Trey McClure
Let's break down some brackets! What is in the brackets? Let's all find out together!
At long last, witness the return of Cookie, the camp cook
Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, featuring football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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Dale update

Let's check in on our favorite childhood pal, Peeing Calvin Window Decal

Clemson and Florida State and the ACC make up, sort of. Surely nothing like this will never happen again

Welcoming Bobby Bowden back to the show

This week on Podcast Business: Soft banks, hard decisions

Jason and Spencer announce some new projects

Ryan tests his skills as an actuary

Sharing our offseason goals and ungoals

Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Trey McClure

Check out Surber’s band Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz

Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/

Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/

DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, featuring football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io/

Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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It's possible we had other plans for this episode. Those plans went out the window in the first minute after Ryan asked Spencer, Holly, and Surber why they loved Dale Earnhardt
Pluto is still a planet
Fullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Caleb Curtis
Check out Surber’s band Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, featuring football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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A quick round of Let's Remember Some Defunct Professional Football Teams, Or Are They

There's a new Civ game out, so please enjoy Spencer and Jason's presences while we have them

Actually we made the whole episode out of Civ, sorry

Introducing the Hog Of Mirth: Somehow Not A Sex Thing

Making stolen relics in Hobby Lobby work for YOU

Enter The Potatotorium

Fullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham

Check out Surber’s band Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz

Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/

Read Jason's novel and catch up on the Vacation Bible School Podcast: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/

DID YOU KNOW: Holly and Spencer write a year-round newsletter, featuring football and also unfootball things, at https://channel-6.ghost.io/

Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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WELCOME TO THE OFFSEASON, where we discuss things like
How come Nic Cage has never played an astronaut
Activating your glutes to podcast
A basketball legend named Foots
The Tragic, Recurring Tale of Montoya
Matt Patricia, Wikipedia nightmare
A canonical announcement about the Tooth Fairy's NFL loyalty
This week's theme was arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham
Enjoy the musical stylings of Surber's band, Killer Antz https://killerantz.bandcamp.com/
Consider Ryan's narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Read Jason writing at The Athletic's CFB newsletter, Until Saturday https://www.nytimes.com/athletic/newsletters/until-saturday/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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The Internet's Only College Football Podcast teams up with noted NFL/media criticism podcast Split Zone Duo to review. Topics include:

Stadium Tarp or Giant Blanket?
How to Acquire Vintage Diseases and Maladies
The World's Largest Outdoor Grave Desecration- Best Birthday for a Michigan Mom
The Siren Song of Hot Chocolate
Go Birds
Go Bills
Do Not Go Jags
And then we turned off the recorder for a DARK MATCH
Theme song arranged by Trey McClure
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com - Check out Jason's free newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/ - Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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This show title is not about Jerry Jones but we do talk about Jerry Jones - Surprisingly normal assessment of a college football personnel move (alarming, we know) - Ryan reveals a recent moment of failure to be a true Eagles fan - Holly Anderson plays the role of Spencer Hall - The Super Bowl: Mount Healthy vs. Scorpion Bay - Important new business idea for cat owners that you can't steal from us
This week's theme song arranged and performed by Todd Kitchen
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com - Check out Jason's free newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/ - Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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More attempts at ASMR from Ryan - When Airplanes Get Hungry - The worst place to watch Act II of Oklahoma - The Mystery of the Abandoned Retirement Community Car - Katie vs. Biker Gang vs. Cops vs. Katie - Sewage Pump Missile Keys - May God grant you the confidence of a lady who brings her bird wherever she pleases - Forklifts: The Ultimate Revenge Tool - Bring Him Home (him is a gun)
This week's theme song arranged and performed by Michael Surber with Metallica
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com - Check out Jason's free newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/ - Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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The title game is still going on when this episode begins. It is over when the episode ends. Relive the final 13 minutes and 54 seconds with us!
This isn't as entertaining as the time we popped in live during that one Bama-Clemson title game. You know the one, where Bama used their kicker as a lead blocker on 4th and 6. Also, Clemson was lined up in a FG-safe alignment five yards off the line of scrimmage because it was 4th and 6. So as soon as the kicker bailed on his usual thing (immediately), Nyles Pinckney (a freshman!) put Mac Jones on the ground before he’d even fully started to run from his kneeling position. You remember. Anyway, nothing half so interesting happens here, but we do get a live doink reaction, and also capture the instant emotion of watching a team in a high-pressure situation try and single-cover Jeremiah Smith.
Welp, time to go job hunting with Ryan Day!
Tracking Ohio State superfans through the stadium
A detailed discussion of what happens to various bodily fluids applied to field turf
Checking in with an old friend online (it's Sean Connery)
A structural examination of Puddles, which is the name of Oregon's mascot
The least family-friendly Milton Berle moment ever seen on this show
Steven Spielberg movies, ranked
Career advice for Jack Sawyer
Will Howard drop the skincare regimen pls, Gotham must know
Let's look back at our playoff picks!
Setting the agenda for the next six to eight years of Florida State jokes
Do you agree??
Fullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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The college football playoff national championship game is next week. But first: The Dallas Cowboys
Followed by a quick trip to either France, Spain, or Italy
Whichever country this is, they're surprisingly uptight about body mods!
Practical advice for your next urologist visit
Here's where to send your submissions for our upcoming live show in Atlanta: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1-RO3RXmN98fYnkeNBrfI6tqXcV7MOnhXC0q7E7Lbz7k/viewform
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Christian Ashlock
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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To ring in both the new year and the semifinal round of the college football playoff, let's examine the carceral state through the lens of McDonaldland
Technically this episode is supposed to be previewing the Orange and Cotton Bowls. Let's see how that goes
List of churches where you can probably smoke indoors
Announcing our next book
Here's where to send your submissions for our upcoming live show in Atlanta: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1-RO3RXmN98fYnkeNBrfI6tqXcV7MOnhXC0q7E7Lbz7k/viewform
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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Arizona State in the quarterfinals lmao
Unfrozen cavemen love this Rose Bowl
Yes, we recorded this during BULLDONGS
Kirby Smart discovers Catholicism
Lane Kiffin's LumpsTax
Theme by Russell Powell
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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Other committees that failed to pick Bama
Worst Tampa-Australian accent ever
Mack Brown was at the Handjob Hill game
Join us in the Handjob Hill comments section: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdp\_S\_jcb3k&t=2024s
THE WOLFMAN VS THE WRANGLER
Theme by Christian Ashlock
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://0-pklchannel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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It's the unavoidable return of 40 For 40, in which we preview each college football postseason game in as much detail as they each deserve
Subjected to scrutiny today: the Fenway, Pinstripe, New Mexico, Pop-Tarts, Arizona, Military, Alamo, Independence, and Music City Bowls
But first: Drop bears update
Test-driving our Steve Belichick voices
Those are pretty good, but Spencer's E.T is not something we know how to prepare you for
Unexpected Miami real estate interlude
Who got the biggest sponsor update in bowl history?
Fashion advice for Hellraiser
We're aware that Rex Ryan didn't take the Wake Forest job, but had too much fun recreating the AFC East in the ACC to cut this part out
Reclaiming traditional football values with Colorado
There are too many plotlines in Conference USA
Jason delivers a Music Ciry Bowl sermon
Iowa win total mentioned
Thanks as always to Wikipedia, powering the 40 for 40 for however long we've been doing this
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Wes Hunt
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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It's the unavoidable return of 40 For 40, in which we preview each college football postseason game in as much detail as they each deserve
Subjected to scrutiny today: the Sports, rate, 68 Ventures, Armed Forces, Birmingham, Liberty, Holiday, and Las Vegas Bowls
It's been a very Pitt year, for both Pitt and Toledo
Rate Bowl at Chase Field! Simple sentences for everybody!
What is the maximum safe number of persons to load onto a mechanical bull
A football game in Birmingham we actually want to watch, imagine that
Why the lukewarm, plastic-covered couch embrace of the Liberty Bowl is a welcome sensation at this point
The less said about the Holiday Bowl, the better
Thanks as always to Wikipedia, powering the 40 for 40 for however long we've been doing this
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Trey McClure
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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RIP our mentions (all of them)
Holly sneaking in a dog adoption plug, coonhoundrescue.com
Stop telling Jason he made an anti-Catholic wager. Thanks
Indiana did fine, actually
Blowouts are also fine, actually
Production meeting for our forthcoming NFL playoffs coverage
Would anybody else wanting to explain FCS football to us please come over this way [dragging carpet of ACME camouflaging grass over pit of sharpened stakes]
Checking in on Live Laugh Lane
Calling out perennial bullies Boise and Arizona State
Oregon, go ahead and hang your banners right now
Time to nickname Ashton Jeanty, for Spencer's sake
This is about where things really fall apart. There is almost an hour left in the show
Witness Ryan's becoming [CW: giraffes]
So whose team/conference gets to be mad now and why
An accord on the funniest possible outcome for the postseason is reached
Throwing up some emergency barricades against the But Their Injuries and What A Waste Discourses
The campaign to save home-site postseason games starts right here
We finally got to meet preseason Ohio State
ARIZONA STATE IS HERE AND THAT'S GREAT
There are many changes occurring in this sport right now. ACC refs are not one of them
Florida is good again, maybe
Not for the first time, we demand that the title game be parked at the Rose Bowl and left there
Fixing the rest of the postseason, while we're at it. You're welcome
Introducing our Kirby Voices
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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"Ryan, you're a lawyer." "Oh God."
It's the unavoidable return of 40 For 40, in which we preview each college football postseason game in as much detail as they each deserve
Subjected to scrutiny today: the four first-round playoff games, plus the Myrtle Beach, Potato, and Hawaii Bowls
For the purposes of this weird shambling postseason, we're treating the playoffs like bowl games, which is going about as well as you'd think. Hope you're ready to talk about Indiana municipal zoning!
Holly does some Christmas shopping
A Philly-themed kitchen mystery arises
Wouldn't it be funny if we got a three-loss national champion? LOL not you, Bama
Vawls and Buckeyes prepare to point their Carhartt-clad Spider-Man fingers at each other in the dark
Why the genuinely troubling weather forecast is the one for the Myrtle Beach Bowl
You're goddamn right it's the return of the Dr. Potato Blog
Either San Jose State or South Florida is about to beat a bowl-eligible team for the first time this year! Don't think too hard about that
Thanks as always to Wikipedia, powering the 40 for 40 for however long we've been doing this
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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It's the unavoidable return of 40 For 40, in which we preview each college football postseason game in as much detail as they each deserve
Subjected to scrutiny today: the Celebration, Veterans, Frisco, Boca Raton, L.A., New Orleans, Cure, and Gasparilla Bowls
But first: this Bill Belichick bullshit
And Army/Navy!
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Russell Powell
Tickets for the Tuscaloosa Get Up 3 are on sale now: https://ci.ovationtix.com/36768/production/1216165
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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A very special guest is wwwwwellcomed
Mack Brown has a surprising new gig
Won't somebody feel sorry for Georgia?
Small boy land speed measurement
Happy Hot Frosty Day to all who observe
Boise/Jeanty appreciation circle
Weapons you can buy or make at the Cracker Barrel
Dr Pepper challenge breakdown
The other games of conference championship weekend, recapped in as much detail as they deserve
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham
Tickets for the Tuscaloosa Get Up 3 are on sale now: https://ci.ovationtix.com/36768/production/1216165
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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An update on the CUM Bowl's Sapphic Jugs Trophy (sp?)
In postseason terms, we're back where we always were (derogatory)
Holly visits the AggieVerse
Let's go down a Gophers hole
A brief detour into another podcast
Purdue gets Cignetti-Croomed
The games of conference championship weekend, previewed in loving detail
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham
Jump in on friend of the program Treblaw's annual One Simple Wish toy drive here: https://www.onesimplewish.org/giving/megwalbert
Tickets for the Tuscaloosa Get Up 3 are on sale now: https://ci.ovationtix.com/36768/production/1216165
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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Rivalry week! Fights everywhere! Let's discuss!
A fond Goodnight Moon to Florida State
Did you figure out where the Sun Belt title game is yet?
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham
Jump in on friend of the program Treblaw's annual One Simple Wish toy drive here: https://www.onesimplewish.org/giving/megwalbert
Tickets for the Tuscaloosa Get Up 3 are on sale now: https://ci.ovationtix.com/36768/production/1216165
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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Emily "versus" Popeyes update
Mack Brown, the unquietest quitter
The Haint is back, fyi, sorry bout that
Schedule game: Rivalry Week!
It's spelled "hoarfrost"
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Christian Ashlock
Tickets for the Tuscaloosa Get Up 3 are on sale now: https://ci.ovationtix.com/36768/production/1216165
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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A thorough accounting of Arizona State-BYU
We call Spencer “Pickles” now
Ryan lies about having real life friends
We completely forget to discuss Penn State and Texas wins
Kaelen DeBoer replacement in the ACC???
HUZZAH FOR BOWLING NEBRASKA
The Child Who Beat Florida International
Congrats to Ole Miss Chancellor Jaxson Dart
An Earnest Case for Enjoying Notre Dame, Playoff Participant
Fullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other stuff: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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Jerry Jones Will Never Surrender To The Sun
Chili Beans for Algernon
More moon lore, shockingly
The Martin Luther Directors’ Cut
SEX ARBY’S
Spencer Hall, Big Ten Clean Living Sponsor

- Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham

Tickets to the January 2025 live show in Atlanta with SZD go on sale Thursday, Nov 21, as always at https://preownedairboats.com/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other stuff: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/

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Somebody's got a birthday!
Spencer has some things to say to Clark Gable
Renewing our feud with Captain America
The greatest LinkedIn comment in show history
Gruesome LSU statistics, updated by Ryan
Holly catches up to Stanford
Coach Jason updates us on Colorado State
AAC championship race update
Maintaining a safe emotional distance from Pitt
Battle for the Bones update!
Our faith in Nebraska goes unrewarded
BYU's mascot takes a ride
Body dysmorphia with Gus Johnson
And so much more
Come hang out with Jason in Jacksonville, in (a) church! www.sanmarcobooksandmore.com/event/jason-kirk-hab-event
Fullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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Tiger update
Spencer has a game
Surber uncovers a special teams haunting
The college football games of Week 12 are previewed in loving detail
See Jason in Jacksonville in a couple weeks, in (a) church! www.sanmarcobooksandmore.com/event/jason-kirk-hab-event
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Russell Powell
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other stuff: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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The adventures of Utah Batman
An impromptu taxonomy lesson
Planning end of life care for Spencer's skull, which is almost as hollow as Miami's pass blocking
A new Georgia Tech traveling trophy is created
Is it Blood Week? Let's ask Jason!
Brent Key, the coach fueled by rage known only to short-term solo parents
Governor Huey Long returns to decry LSU's false Tiger and explain tiger measurement
Do not look directly at the SEC tiebreakers right now, for health reasons
A noir-tinged #10WINDIANA celebration
Ohio State, stop pretending like you have problems
Let's check in on Florida State's singular season
The hunt for MIMAL erotica begins
Mike Gundy's into Moon Knight now
Introducing the NFTortilla
Boise has a baffler
Pitt. Man.
Time to rank UConn
Bowl-eligible South Carolina defeats bowl-eligible Vanderbilt
Back to you, Huey
We've got a live show coming up! It's definitely in Atlanta, and we're almost positive it's on January 18th! You know as much as we know now
See Jason in Jacksonville, in (a) church! www.sanmarcobooksandmore.com/event/jason-kirk-hab-event
Fullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other stuff: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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Ssssshhhhhhhhhh
Sleepytime
Hush now
Special appearance by creek
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Clayton Moore
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other stuff: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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Stop making people play South Carolina! We tried to tell you!
Everybody make sure to take note of what Vanderbilt just did!
Somebody finally really upsets Spencer!
Let's look at who's bowl eligible after Week 10!
WHY STOP AT #9WINDIANA?
Holly has a gift (horse) for Kentucky
A historic day for Clemson
A safely contained, OSHA-compliant discussion of Florida-Georgia
Special guest Venom explores the intersection of personal finance and relationships
Druids 4 USC
Now back to Venom
We've got a live show coming up! It's definitely in Atlanta, and we're almost positive it's on January 18th!
See Jason in Jacksonville, in (a) church! https://www.sanmarcobooksandmore.com/event/jason-kirk-hab-event
Fullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other stuff: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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Gonna tell you right up top that Ryan isn't in this episode, so adjust your expectations accordingly
Tennessee Williams finally gets what he deserves
What are we wearing for Halloween?
Let's remember some podcast episodes
Holly is unmoored from space and time and specifically from Week 10
There are a lot of weird ads out there right now that aren't even ours!
It's time for one of Spencer's favorite stories, the first Spanish astronaut. No reason!
We've got a live show coming up! It's definitely in Atlanta, and we're almost positive it's on January 18th!
See Jason in Jacksonville, in (a) church! https://www.sanmarcobooksandmore.com/event/jason-kirk-hab-event
The Ted Cruz eggvoice is back, sorry
Week 10's college football games, previewed in loving detail
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Trey McClure
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other stuff: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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Texas A&M introduces a frosty new tradition
The cocaine jokes go on for at least thirty minutes, so get comfortable
Jason has a lil something for Liberty
Meal planning with Hugh Freeze
Alabama and Missouri experience roadside adversity
A visit with Woody Hayes
Deep dive analytics on Florida State
See Jason in Jacksonville, in church! Bring your boyfriend! Don't worry about why! https://www.sanmarcobooksandmore.com/event/jason-kirk-hab-event
Fullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other stuff: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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Hootenanny proprietors: Call us
Spencer is unwilling to be the sacrifice that brings the harvest
Bo Nix >>>> Aaron Rodgers
Glowing up Purdue
Checking in on our preseason playoff picks
See Jason in Jacksonville, in church! Bring your boyfriend! Don't worry about why! https://www.sanmarcobooksandmore.com/event/jason-kirk-hab-event
Setting new spiritual goals for Indiana fans
Pope quiz!
Party at Rudy's!
Schedule game, Big East Football Edition
A special anniversary is remembered
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Wes Hunt
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other stuff: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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Week 8 of the 2024 college football season, recapped in loving detail
Fullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other stuff: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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Investigating degrees of gruntlement, up and down the college football rankings
The games of Week 8, previewed in various degrees of loving detail
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by James Yerby
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other stuff: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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Is Dan Lanning strapped??
Tennessee won (SORT OF) and Holly is here to make sure you all suffer for that
Ryan has a revelation
Iowa scored 40 points and that gets its own line
When did YOU abandon your Red River viewing plan?
If you're reading this, Ole Miss and LSU eventually stopped playing football
Let's relive the latest doomed South Carolina campaign
Please pause for Ashton Jeanty appreciation
James Franklin and Lincoln Riley have a Shadow Link fight
Watch your ass, you gotta play Purdue
Meet the Night Duzz
UAB football continues to draw the eye
Checking in on God's own college football channel, The CW
Fullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrwative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other stuff: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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A better way to talk trash at live sporting events
We have been compelled by the events of the day to talk about the New York Jets
Hoodie season revelations
The events of Blood Week, placed in context
The games of Week 7, previewed in loving detail
Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Trey McClure
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/
Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other stuff: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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Blood everywhere
So much blood
DOWN GOES #1 Alabama
DOWN GOES #4 Tennessee
DOWN GOES #9 Missouri
DOWN GOES #10 Michigan
DOWN GOES #11 USC
DOWN GOES #22 Louisville
DOWN GOES #25 UNLV
Yep, that'll do it
Follow along as we rise and fall with the third quarter of Cal-Miami, an experience which is not at all heartbreaking in retrospect, no YOU are ugly crying
Donate to the East Tennessee Foundation Neighbor to Neighbor Disaster Relief Fund here: https://easttennesseefoundation.org/grants/neighbor-to-neighbor-disaster-relief-fund/
Donate to the North Carolina Community Foundation Disaster Relief Fund here: https://www.nccommunityfoundation.org/nonprofits/disaster-relief-fund
Fullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham
Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other stuff: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at https://channel-6.ghost.io/
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcast, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new project at https://assigned.substack.com/
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny https://preownedairboats.com/

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SHOW NOTES

Hey, we've got a show today, if you're reading this today
Update on the lost Arctic exploration of 1845
Snack reviews
Sheep crime news
Spencer gives a math quiz
Games of Week 6, previewed in loving detail
Shutdown Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Wes Hunt
Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other stuff: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcasts, We're Not All Like This and Buried Treasure, and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny preownedairboats.com

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SHOW NOTES

An ACC conspiracy, sure, that sounds plausible
Ryan Williams is a creation of Wētā Workshop
Edging warily into Good Rutgers Watch
An auspicious day for Wildcats of several sorts
Auburn losing a conference game isn’t news, but it’s nice to think about so we put it in here
Turns out UNLV is fine
Manny Diaz repays a debt
Ashton Jeanty is about halfway to Jupiter by now, with your football
UAB’s big dumb hire continues to pan out bigly and dumbly
Fullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham
A few tickets still remaining for our 10/3 show at Furnace Fest in Birmingham: https://www.seetickets.us/event/shutdown-fullcast-live/603983
Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other stuff: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Spencer and Holly bring you two things a week at channel-6.ghost.io
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcast, We're Not All Like This and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com
Purchase only the finest Fullcast merchandise at sunny preownedairboats.com

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This podcast does not know who is in the Pac-12 right now and won't pretend we do
Jason says “China is a better idea than USF”
"I’m Shaquille O’Neal, here to tell you about Moon 2"
Hugh Freeze either has a bad team or is a bad coach, per Hugh Freeze
Miami, get openly ignorant again
Remember, the Little Brown Jug exists because of poison
Washington plays at Rutgers in a classic Big Ten matchup
Alabama and Georgia meet in a game both teams will probably hate!
More looking at the schedule and talking about the moon than any other college football podcast around
This week's theme song performed and arranged by Anjuli Shah
On sale now: tickets for our show at Furnace Fest in Birmingham! https://www.seetickets.us/event/shutdown-fullcast-live/603983
Follow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcast, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny preownedairboats.com

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SHOW NOTES

Take in the end of Colorado-Baylor with us, live at the time!
Is Mack Brown too old to serve??
With a quarter of the regular season in the books, it's time to play the time-honored puzzle game of "who looked like what against whom"
Some truly disgusting victory stats
Bobby Petrino is FED UP
A survey of the mysterious astronomical object known as "Pitt"
Crowning the ACC as objectively our funniest conference
Fullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham
Buy tickets for our 10/3 show at Furnace Fest in Birmingham at https://www.seetickets.us/event/shutdown-fullcast-live/603983 and send MUSIC DISASTERS to shutdownfullcast@gmail.com
Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other stuff: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io
Find Ryan writing at assigned.substack.com, podcasting on We're Not All Like This and Buried Treasure, and check out his new project at wkcfb.com
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny preownedairboats.com

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Cold open: "wow, this AI says you should write a check to me immediately"
Spencer lays out the least-probable possible playoff bracket as of mid-September
Make Syracuse #1 or we'll beat your ass
Ohio State tries to beat a team, any team, with a block M logo
Ryan pitches the greatest CW show ever, "Batman's Dad Dies Every Week"
Holly discusses the pitfalls of being a one TD favorite
Hey someone's getting Floyd of Rosedale this week?
This week's theme arranged and performed by Trey McClure
On sale now: tickets for our show at Furnace Fest in Birmingham! https://www.seetickets.us/event/shutdown-fullcast-live/603983
Follow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcast, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny preownedairboats.com

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SHOW NOTES

A rules innovation only Ryan's broken brain could provide
Spencer Hall, anatomy expert and the rise of WHEELS MANNING
What South Carolina-LSU had in common with The Cheesecake Factory
WARNING Earnest discussion of Florida's hiring foibles over time WARNING
Indiana won the Rose Bowl
A funny thing happened on the way home from Arizona State-Texas State
Sovereign Quarterback John Mateer
Fullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham
Buy tickets for our 10/3 show at Furnace Fest in Birmingham, and send MUSIC DISASTERS to shutdownfullcast@gmail.com

https://www.seetickets.us/event/shutdown-fullcast-live/603983

Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other stuff: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcast, We're Not All Like This and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny preownedairboats.com

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Checking in with our fellow football podcaster Tom Brady
A dispatch from the Indiana car dealer wars
We are opting out of ANY NEW knowledge concerning Pitt athletic department HR
Mary Poppins lore, explored
Jason invents the blowsaw
Week 3 college football games, largely unstuck in time, previewed in loving detail
Fullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Trey McClure
On sale now: tickets for our show at Furnace Fest in Birmingham! https://www.seetickets.us/event/shutdown-fullcast-live/603983
Follow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcast, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny preownedairboats.com

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SHOW NOTES

Berkeley leftist Hugh Freeze: too extreme for America
What's your favorite Notre Dame pants-pooping?
Arkansas' thrilling comeback against Arkansas
Michigan! Colorado! El Assico! Top-10 teams desperate to lose! And more!
Annual refresher on Blood Week rules
Spencer's weekly disgusting 1 a.m. ET concoction
Fullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham
On sale now: tickets for our show at Furnace Fest in Birmingham! https://www.seetickets.us/event/shutdown-fullcast-live/603983
Jason's CFB Watch Grid and other stuff available for free at https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcast, We're Not All Like This and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny preownedairboats.com

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Holly has some apologizing to do
Spencer crashes the show faster than usual
DJ U brings it back (to Clemson)
Florida State shines in a double spotlight! Unfortunately, that shine is barf
That time God knew ball through Jason
Exciting developments on the Podcast Business segment
Week 2, previewed
Fullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham
On sale now: tickets for our show at Furnace Fest in Birmingham! https://www.seetickets.us/event/shutdown-fullcast-live/603983
Follow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcast, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny preownedairboats.com

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SHOW NOTES

A sincere and unbridled celebration of Vanderbilt football
Checking in with the Cancun Cooler
A stern talking-to for teams that are currently Acting Cute
The emerging medical field of touchdown poisoning
Dangerously erotic levels of Iowa
Pickle argument
Learn why listeners and all of our therapists are already referring to the final six minutes of tonight's show as "the incident"
Fullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham
On sale now: tickets for our show at Furnace Fest in Birmingham! https://www.seetickets.us/event/shutdown-fullcast-live/603983
Follow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcasts, We're Not All Like This and Buried Treasure, and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny preownedairboats.com

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Spencer isn't the first one to do a terrible British accent this week
Dee-yawn?
Eat shit, Ron
SCHEDULE PEEPIN' TIME
Who said it: "In August, every team is September Maryland"
This week's theme song arranged and performed by Wes Hunt
On sale now: tickets for our show at Furnace Fest in Birmingham! https://www.seetickets.us/event/shutdown-fullcast-live/603983
Jason's book stuff, other stuff, and college football stuff in a free newsletter: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcasts, We're Not All Like This and Buried Treasure, and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny preownedairboats.com

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JIMBO FISHER BACK?
NC STATE EXPANDING MATHEMATICS?
BRIAN FERENTZ VINDICATED?
KIRK HERBSTREIT WEIGHING IN ON THE COMMERCE CLAUSE?
CAN THE MIND CONCEIVE OF "AVERAGE COLORADO?"
THE RETURN OF MICHIGAN STATE HITLER????
Please let us do a live show in the Pittsburgh Airport
This week's theme song arranged and performed by Shawn Pryor
Follow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at jasonkirk.fyi
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcast, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear and keep up with our live show schedule at sunny preownedairboats.com

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The Fullcast Lunch-n-Learn returns for our preseaon level-set pivoting circleback
It's our annual playoff picks episode! If you'd like to skip to the end, you can view the context-free results on Instagram
Jason takes on Marvel Snap challengers live on air from the comments
A fractious edition of Podcast Business
Ryan beats everyone at his own game
Only Holly believes in Auburn. You heard it
What do Michigan State and Argentina have in common?
Live reader questions, answered!
This week's theme song arranged and performed by Matthew Flovski
A few tickets still available for our festival show in Raleigh! More info here: https://www.etix.com/ticket/p/41961499/the-sports-podcast-festival-raleigh-the-rialto
On sale now: tickets for our show at Furnace Fest in Birmingham! https://www.seetickets.us/event/shutdown-fullcast-live/603983
Follow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at jasonkirk.fyi
Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io
Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcast, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com
Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny preownedairboats.com

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Cybertrucks, againRyan takes a large and unwarranted swing at the Taz communityThe prospect of a ball-knowing Vice President is consideredStay tuned for more content on the Utah JazzPodcast Business fails to launchBall-talking vice presidents throughout history, discussedA perilous game of baseball trivia is playedWhich presidential candidate would you trust to make breakfast?Please hire Holly to do the glossy profile of Kirby SmartEven the celebs are in on Good Vibes Right NowObvious American diplomats: Snoop and PitbullA highly stressful post-realignment round of Where Are They NowOur 2024 playoff picks format is announcedRyan hasn’t seen Paddington and we all need to join hands and harangue him about itImportant merch newsThis week's theme song arranged and performed by Christian AshlockTickets still available for our festival show in Raleigh! More info here: https://www.etix.com/ticket/p/41961499/the-sports-podcast-festival-raleigh-the-rialtoAlso on sale: tickets for our show at Furnace Fest in Birmingham! https://www.seetickets.us/event/shutdown-fullcast-live/603983Follow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at jasonkirk.fyiFind Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.ioListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcast, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Ryan tries some ASMRThe meanest email Holly has ever gottenA surprise guest!“Have you ever downloaded so much porn that you crippled infrastructure?”The crew writes some live women’s restroom horror fanficEverybody wants to be a tuberculosis influencerAsk Coach: How do you motivate a two-star player harboring a deadly parasite?This week's theme song arranged and performed by Trey McClureTickets still available for our festival show in Raleigh! More info here: https://www.etix.com/ticket/p/41961499/the-sports-podcast-festival-raleigh-the-rialtoAlso on sale: tickets for our show at Furnace Fest in Birmingham! https://www.seetickets.us/event/shutdown-fullcast-live/603983Follow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at jasonkirk.fyiFind Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.ioListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcast, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Catching up with a couple of our favorite coaches, and also Greg SchianoSan Marcos legend Alex Kirshner joins the show to know some ball at usRushing to the defense of our beloved Mountain DewA harrowing back-to-school shopping tripSpencer pioneers fast fashionThis week's theme song arranged and performed by Wes HuntTickets still available for our festival show in Raleigh! More info here: https://www.etix.com/ticket/p/41961499/the-sports-podcast-festival-raleigh-the-rialtoAlso on sale: tickets for our show at Furnace Fest in Birmingham! https://www.seetickets.us/event/shutdown-fullcast-live/603983Follow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at jasonkirk.fyiFind Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.ioListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcasts, We're Not All Like This and Buried Treasure, and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Spencer is back, despite his own best efforts, and he brought a number of promising Mongolian business ideasFind out which Khan was “the party Khan”Examining Ryan’s place on the Snake Kinsey ScaleTwo words: “Mouse arbitrage”Rest of the episode is pretty much all basking in the return of the game?At the time of taping, the game has been out for about 22 hours, and between the four of us we are averaging four hours of gameplayHow the game is turning us into cro-mag ball coachesJason leaves Texas in a pine boxHow the game could portend a record-low season of disciplinary issues nationwideWe’ve all got one complaint about the game so far and we bet you’ve got the same oneBasking in our place in the game universeAn extended inadvertent Split Zone Duo adThis week's theme song arranged and performed by Wes HuntTickets still available for our festival show in Raleigh! More info here: https://www.etix.com/ticket/p/41961499/the-sports-podcast-festival-raleigh-the-rialtoFreshly on sale: tickets for our show at Furnace Fest in Birmingham! https://www.seetickets.us/event/shutdown-fullcast-live/603983Follow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at jasonkirk.fyiFind Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.ioListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcast, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear at sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Without Spencer we’re apparently powerless to open the showWhat’s a cold seat? Don’t ask us, this was Ryan’s ideaWe put Bill O’Brien through a lot, for some reasonNew fried chicken bet!Catching up with Ron PrinceWhich coach could most easily post his way through a 4-8 season?Theorizing Ohio State’s worst season everThis week's theme song arranged and performed by Christian AshlockFollow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at jasonkirk.fyiFind Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.ioListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcast, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear and keep up with our live show schedule at sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Ryan issues a surprise correctionA truck stop etiquette lessonWho deserves the distinction of “worst astronaut”?Some more about the video game, not a trap this time! Probably!Impromptu production meeting for our Raleigh showThis season's newest roadside fireworks stand offerings, reviewedThis week's theme song arranged and performed by Matthew KlovskiFollow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at jasonkirk.fyiFind Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.ioListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcast, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear and keep up with our live show schedule at sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Don't worry! This isn't entirely a college baseball episode!Mostly, it's a pro hockey episodeOne host is out, two others are sick, and everybody has a Good Sports HangoverHolly has some FATHERS & SONS feelings to work through re: the College World Series, and that's going about as well as you'd expectCelebrating Ft. Lauderdale as Hockeytown, USADisturbing new allegations come to light regarding a MacGuffin known only as "the Jason robot"Stanley Cup trivia ruined by Jimmy FallonA visit with Arthur Blank's actual falconSurber delivers an assortment of wipes-based confessionsThis week's theme song arranged and performed by Shawn PryorFollow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at jasonkirk.fyiFind Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.ioListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcast, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear and keep up with our live show schedule at sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Meet French Randy!You at home may never know true happiness for yourselves, but you can get pretty close by listening to the crew’s reaction to seeing Batman ice cream bars for the first timeSemi-factual attempt at a French political interludeWill inevitably become known as “the sherbert episode” for reasons that will repeatedly be made clearThis week's theme song arranged and performed by Trey McClureFollow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at jasonkirk.fyiFind Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.ioListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcast, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear and keep up with our live show schedule at sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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A musical trip down memory lane about the time the show reached the end of the Internet NEW LIVE SHOW ANNOUNCEMENT The crew runs up against a rare real-life First Comic Book encounterHow to fashion a murder weapon out of a peewee soccer uniformHolly meets a cell phone scammer while taping the showFind out why this episode was almost called “I want pictures of Spider-Man’s pussy”This episode Not sponsored by ReptiCon, coming soon to cities where we don’t liveAll of that takes a solid hour and disguises the fact that this is our Caitlin Clark episode. Caught ya!Jason poisons his own search algorithm to introduce us to a new conspiracy theoryThis week's theme song arranged and performed by Anjuli ShahFollow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at jasonkirk.fyiFind Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io, if you dareListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcasts, We're Not All Like This and Buried Treasure, and check out his new project at assigned.substack.com Purchase only the finest Fullcast gear and keep up with our live show schedule at sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Welcome to Buford Palms High School! You read that right: We imprisoned Matt Brown of Extra Points for nearly two goddang hours and talked about CERTAIN video game matters NEAR AND DEAR TO THE HEARTS OF OUR HOSTS AND AUDIENCE pretty much the entire timeLearn why Matt's wife says he has "Nick Jr. energy"Holly shares her personal struggles with one particular aspect of the gameSpencer and Jason discuss their experiences with roster buildingTaking the opportunity of having our favorite Brazilian blogger in the building to check in on our boy Bolsonaro's latest hospitalizationWhat age is appropriate for introducing one's children to THE GAME?How to activate Alito Mode™ in College StationThis week's theme song arranged and performed by Wes HuntFollow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at jasonkirk.fyiFind Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io, if you dareListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcast, We're Not All Like This, wherever finer podcasts are placedPurchase only the finest Fullcast gear and keep up with our live show schedule at sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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LIVE FROM INDY Featuring guest star and car baron Alanis King We review important facts about Indianapolis, aka the City of LIghts Tercel: Actually a good name, once you say it out loud A LONG LIST OF YOUR BEST AUTOMOTIVE DISASTERS The crowd takes on Spencer in trivia with questions Ryan wrote, wonder how that's gonna go Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Spencer offers up the legal defense of "I forgot" Hard truths told about the site of this weekend's live Fullcast, Indianapolis It's nice! Please don't tell anyone! Also we're hanging out at the Michigan Public LIbrary this weekend, fall throughFight songs are reviewed even though no one knows the words to them What fight song respectfully refuses to say the sacred name of a dog god? What fight song could double as a mid-show Gilbert and Sullivan number? What fight song could double as a terrifying Central Asian national anthem? What fight song came from a decade where everyone was clearly having too good a time? We're all watching the J-Lo movie where she pilots a mech Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Kenny Rogers real estate, roastedOrcas are back! Don’t see them? Look under your boat!A historical trip down Kicking Horse RiverThe crew spends an afternoon in the Hades Club, finding unders to hammer next seasonSpencer debuts a horrific new voiceA ten- minute grocery store episode erupts about halfway through hereA high-stakes episode of podcast businessAnointing ourselves lifelong Kansas Jayhawks fansAn exciting new promo opportunity for Gus JohnsonThis week's theme song arranged and performed by Wes HuntFollow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at jasonkirk.fyiFind Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io, if you dareListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcasts, We're Not All Like This and Buried Treasure, wherever finer podcasts are placedPurchase only the finest merch at sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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The crew establishes an alliance with a Grey's Anatomy alum and develops a feud against an AvengerA rundown of other people, institutions, internal demons, and inanimate objects we are currently in fights withA review of what in the hell happened at Ohio State's graduationA reminder that we are all available for hire as commencement speakers, except RyanRic Flair having a normal one at the pizza placeIntroducing Jason as Jungle Jack HannaMore news about our upcoming summer live tour!This week's theme song arranged and performed by Corey CunninghamFollow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at jasonkirk.fyiFind Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io, if you dareListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcast, We're Not All Like This, wherever finer podcasts are placedPurchase only the finest merch at sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Three live shows announced, including a Carb Day trip to Indianapolis with Homefield Apparel (find out more at preownedairboats.com)- An important update from a medical professional on the subject of injecting mashed potatoes into your circulatory system- Nothing can stop Drake from his first love: shopping- Briefly imagining Jerry Seinfeld at the Apollo - The difference between an irresponsible prediction and a bold one- Spencer says this SEC team that won 10 games last season is only winning four this year- Jason presents the most painful way Florida can wind up firing Billy Napier- And other unhinged suggestions from readers like you- This week's theme song arranged and performed by Becca Lynch- Follow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at jasonkirk.fyi- Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io, if you dare- Listen to Ryan and Surber's other podcast, We're Not All Like This, wherever finer podcasts are placedLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Simultaneous horse developments on r/ShutdownFullcast and in the Fullcast reader mailbag are addressedIt's draft week, baby! What are we drafting this year? Don't worry about it!Holly and Ryan twin, with terrifying resultsYou can watch Spencer at the real draft this week, on television! (On your computer!)Charity Bowl results!Summer 2024 live show teases! We're about to fight a timezone!This week's theme song arranged and performed by Wes HuntFollow Jason's work and upcoming book-related appearances on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at jasonkirk.fyiFind Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io, if you dareListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcast, We're Not All Like This, wherever finer podcasts are placedPurchase only the finest merch at sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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The Charity Bowl is on! Michigan is winning! There's still time to deny them a fourth national championship this calendar year! Visit EDSBSCharityBowl.com to join the fight!Let's Name Some Guys, Cooky's Camp All-Stars EditionA harrowing on-air realization re: the age of this podcastJoel Klatt narrates the end of the worldLightning round Bible studyThis week's theme song arranged and performed by Russell PowellFollow Jason's work on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at jasonkirk.fyiFind Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io, if you dareListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcasts, We're Not All Like This and Buried Treasure, wherever finer podcasts are placedPurchase only the finest merch at sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Pat Narduzzi sets a sensual tone for spring ballFind out which reader question haunted Ryan into doing a French bulldog voiceThe Calipari-Chicken Man PlanAssorted additional spring football surveysPeeking very carefully around the corner at NFL media and asking if y’all are okay??CHARITY BOWL UPDATES AND RULES, HELPFULLY EXPLAINED FOR YOUHow to get Holly to unblock you on Twitter, for a causeWhat’s this year’s stretch goal that Spencer will inevitably forget to fulfill?Wrestlemania, reviewedA somber update on Le Big One from chief international cycling correspondent Michel SurbreThis week's theme song arranged and performed by Anjuli ShahFollow Jason's work on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at jasonkirk.fyiFind Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io, if you dareListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcast, We're Not All Like This, wherever finer podcasts are placedPurchase only the finest merch at sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Jane Coaston joins us this week to discuss baseball, gambling in sports, Twilight Imperium, and other tribulationsHow our love of skating will scupper any chances we ever go to MarsUSC students' current level of Grinch awarenessKids these days, in generalAn update on Channel 6's Dumb Bitches of History bracketThis week's theme song arranged and performed by Trey McClureFollow Jason's work on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and elsewhere at jasonkirk.fyiFind Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io, if you dareListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcasts, We're Not All Like This and Buried Treasure, wherever finer podcasts are placedPurchase only the finest merch at sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Star Wars shipping, mappedDune Part Two, reviewedNew show sponsor Wolverine, yes That One, joins our panel discussion on nationalized healthcareA visit to our local Georgia football and tax evasion message boardWhere’s that Kim Mulkey article atEverybody but Holly is enjoying the basketball tournamentWhat a home-site format might mean for the future of college football playoffsMussolini’s taste in hats, disparagedWhat television progrum is today’s 24?A visit with our buddies inside the Trojan HorseThis week’s theme song arranged and performed by Michael SitlerSee more of Jason's work on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and more at jasonkirk.fyi Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io, if you dareListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcasts, We're Not All Like This and Buried Treasure, wherever finer podcasts are placedPurchase only the finest merch at sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Holly has some train newsWhich Starfox pilot is Elon MuskClemson throws its crayons, legally speakingRyan offers an emotionally healthy solution for the fracturing ACCThe Cal Appreciation Minute ™Kate Middleton, Sephora SasquatchThis Is March [citation needed]This week’s theme song arranged and performed by Seth GuttmanSee more of Jason's work on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and more at jasonkirk.fyi Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io, if you dareListen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcasts, We're Not All Like This and Buried Treasure, wherever finer podcasts are placedPurchase only the finest merch at sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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The crew revolutionizes the American medical industry- Best movie soundtracks of the '90s, debated- Found a haunted website- Out on a limb with what may end up being our most poorly timed segment in show history: Spencer explains his knowledge of Kate Middleton's whereabouts- Jason launches a new Scottish conquest- Which message board community would you deploy to find a missing princess?- If you thought the story about the Italian mafia conspiring to fix Vanderbilt football games couldn't get dumber, Jason Aldean is tangentially involved- Helpfully reimagining the works of Homer and Virgil for a modern audience- Once again, the Fullcast forms a band, but for real this time- Breaking hair news- How ancient whale facts blog Moby Dick sleep-trained an entire gender- Find out how our entire show gained legal immunity in the Commonwealth of Kentucky- This week's theme performed by Surber- See more of Jason's work on Vacation Bible School, Shutdown Fullbooks, and more at jasonkirk.fyi - Find Holly and Spencer writing and chirping at channel-6.ghost.io, if you dare- Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing podcasts, We're Not All Like This and Buried Treasure- Purchase only the finest show merch at sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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- One easy trick to derail your Iditarod opponents- Why Texas A&M decided to ruin an entire ingredient for everyone- Only Future Spencer can decide what we do on this episode- Preparing for the big brands to abandon the rest of college football- Which leads to Duke, USF, and Boise State sharing a conference- And Georgia Tech, Navy, and Marshall sharing another- And Louisville, Oregon State, and UTEP sharing yet another- This is a good plan, and thorough, and we will accept a modest fee for our efforts- This week's theme performed by Corey Cunningham- Visit preownedairboats.com for merch- Go buy Jason's book, Hell Is a World Without YouLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Flat Cam TheoryDune is a college football movieMarvin Harrison Jr. eradicates the LSATThe Absolutely True Story of the Oldest Longhorn EverDan Enos Sneak Attacks SpencerAn extended game which ends with us sending Jared Goff to FSU, Geno Smith to Rutgers, and Russell Wilson to Texas A&M after their playing days are overThis episode theme arranged and performed by Trey McClureVisit preownedairboats dot com for earthly treasuresVisit SHUT DOWN FULL BOOKS DOT COM for the book that got all those people to come listen to Spencer talk about his church experience at the Religion Disasters live showLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Our first live show in FIVE YEARS- Crowd of 500 maniacs "shockingly well-behaved," per Monday Night Brewing- Revival preacher Surber calls down righteous thunder- Lmao this intro music by Trey- Podcast Business: Book has raised over $50K for the Trevor Project- Spencer: undercover Crusader?- A full hour of CHURCH DISASTERS, where blood and fire bring unrest- Holly reveals The Chili That Kills You- Evangelicalism crash course: Jason reads from HELL IS A WORLD WITHOUT YOU- Hot gossip!! The media-biz stories behind "niche"!!- Blockhead freshmen savage a (totally real) Christian advice manual, as performed by Jamie Howard, Will Leitch, Chili, Andrew Klema, Brigit our videographer, Jay Busbee, and Daniel Palmer- Ryan's Catholic zoology update- Collective salvation, as explained by a 2000s punk cover song- Thank you to AV crew Surber, Doug, Anthony, and Brigit!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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A small amount of football talk regarding the Super Bowl, not too much, don’t worrySurber has difficultiesMasculinity is back, and this is just what it looks likeChip Kelly does the Reverse Oregon TrailA modest proposal for next year’s Pop-Tarts BowlSwedish Yule Goat Arson UpdateThis episode theme arranged and performed by James YerbyVisit preownedairboats dot com with all hasteVisit SHUT DOWN FULL BOOKS DOT COM for exclusive literary revelations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Las Vegas Super Bowl preview includes: necessity of spray tans! The deceptively wide-ranging concept of Game Management! We definitely all know which NFL player would befriend a coyote! Chiefs Fatigue and its roots!Spencer makes several dangerous propositionsYou'll never guess which fanbases are still/already in their feelings about the 2023-24 college football season!A use case for porn botsBack to Chuck E. CheesePondering the State Of Broadcast JournalismAffirmations of our youthsThis episode theme arranged and performed by Clayton MooreVisit preownedairboats dot com with all hasteVisit SHUT DOWN FULL BOOKS DOT COM for exclusive literary revelations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Light the MILFBeam for the Super BowlCriss Angel, Sober Hall BuddyStop un-theming hotelsDJ Durkin’s back, that taste in your throat is nihilism and it’s not going awayPacific J!i!!m!!Today’s theme song was arranged and performed by Todd KitchenVisit preownedairboats dot com with all hasteVisit SHUT DOWN FULL BOOKS DOT COM for exclusive literary revelations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Choose a Google Drive product to get stuck in, Tron-style- A brief history of how Hand In The Dirt saved the Shutdown Fullcast- America's new favorite podcast game is Where's Felder- Is self-cleaning mode on an oven even a real thing- Offseason plans, advice, and brags, from horticulture to romance novel food trucks- How to get into wrestling in 2024, which Jason says you should do- Ryan is an old man who fears technology- No for real have you seen Felder- Out: Peloton. In: Pianos.- Today’s theme song was arranged and performed by Brian Conway- Visit preownedairboats dot com for commerce- Visit shutdownfullbooks dot com for spiritual sustenanceLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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We did try to tell y'all what a kicked Bama hive is like. In case you didn't heed our warnings, you're about to find outWhy you shouldn't play Settlers of Catan with Will MuschampThe one coach we'd all allow to date our momsHow 9WINDIANA became the cradle of championships A call for Ohio State opinions we definitely will not live to regretWho will be the first 12-team playoff program to fire its coach?For no reason at all, a history of ten-win Alabama football teams, and how everything worked out just fine for all of themWhat will NCAA enforcement make of New Bama, and does it matter one bit?Counting states that suffer life without Bass Pro ShopsCommunity service project: let’s fix Ross Bjork’s wiki pageToday’s theme song was arranged and performed by Wes HuntVisit preownedairboats dot com with all hasteVisit SHUT DOWN FULL BOOKS DOT COM for exclusive literary revelations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Michigan-Washington recap is preceded by a 45-minute field trip to suburban BirminghamToday’s theme song was arranged and performed by Russell PowellVisit preownedairboats dot com with all hasteVisit SHUT DOWN FULL BOOKS DOT COM for exclusive literary revelations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Mostly off-air, the crew attempts to discern the Bible's first wine momMore news from PompeiiLet's make Ted Cruz a trophy. No, not like thatCan't spell Citrus Bowl without UT [complimentary]We are out of fun ways to do BAMA LOST LOL episodes!Several other football games have occurred since we last spokeHappy holidays from the Harbaugh familyVisit preownedairboats dot com with all hasteVisit SHUT DOWN FULL BOOKS DOT COM for exclusive literary revelations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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This one has: Fenway Bowl! Pinstripe Bowl! Pop-Tarts Bowl! Alamo Bowl! Gator Bowl! Sun Bowl!- Ryan is the enemy of the working class!- Liberty Bowl! Cotton Bowl! Peach Bowl! Music City Bowl! Orange Bowl! Arizona Bowl!- He’s out of touch with normal people, sitting in his Tennessee mansion!- ReliaQuest Bowl! Fiesta Bowl! Citrus Bowl!- Also at least five minutes of Rose Bowl and Sugar Bowl talk!- Boo Ryan whenever you see him!- Visit preownedairboats dot com to get all the stuff you actually wanted for the holidays- Visit SHUT DOWN FULL BOOKS DOT COM for exclusive literary revelations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Featuring: Boca Raton Bowl! Gasparilla Bowl! Birmingham Bowl! Camellia Bowl! Armed Forces Bowl! Potato Bowl! 68 Ventures (?!) Bowl! Las Vegas Bowl! Hawaii Bowl (OR IS IT??)! Quick Lane Bowl! First Responder Bowl! Guaranteed Rate Bowl! Military Bowl! Mayo Bowl! Holiday Bowl! Texas Bowl!Visit preownedairboats dot com for all your holiday shopping needsVisit SHUT DOWN FULL BOOKS DOT COM for exclusive literary revelations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Featuring: Myrtle Beach Bowl! Celebration Bowl! New Orleans Bowl! Cure Bowl! New Mexico Bowl! Gronk Bowl! Independence Bowl! Famous Toastery (what) Bowl! Frisco Bowl!This episode is most definitely not sponsored by Arby’s Visit preownedairboats dot com for all your holiday shopping needsVisit SHUT DOWN FULL BOOKS DOT COM for exclusive literary revelations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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The crew does a little freelance medical researchIf you’re one of those blessed souls who gets their news from this podcast, buckle upCelebrating FSU’s brief run as America’s TeamYearning for a return to pre-bowl Honest Grift ElysiumA year-end review of the show’s top episodeSpencer plays Bible triviaVisit preownedairboats dot com for all your holiday shopping needsVisit SHUT DOWN FULL BOOKS DOT COM for exclusive literary revelationsLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Ryan has some terrible musical newsNiche publishing updateA LONG-AWAITED ANNOUNCEMENTCoaching carousel and playoff talk! Normal college football podcast!The voices are back. All of them. Yeah, that one too. SorrySettle your stomachs and let’s take a look at the championships weekend scheduleVisit preownedairboats dot com for all your holiday shopping needsVisit SHUT DOWN FULL BOOKS DOT COM for exclusive literary revelationsLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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It’s Thanksgiving so we’re talking about which Bible characters were big huggersA very important Podcast Business announcementSpencer gets his news from the Fullcast, like all of youAn impromptu awards ceremony ensuesPoseidon tries to start shit with Jason just as he brings news from the seaFlorida State confronts the trolley problemWeek 13 preview! No, for real!Time to put the Dukes upVisit preownedairboats dot com for all your holiday shopping needsVisit SHUT DOWN FULL BOOKS DOT COM for exclusive literary revelations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTESEverybody behave, we have guests! First up: Alex Kirshner of vaunted NFL media empire Split Zone Duo educates us on November Maryland meteorologyAs you may have divined from the title, New Mexico State beat Auburn in football, and we all saw. Everyone saw!Graham Mertz damns the torpedoesA bit of Michigan lore, as a treatThe meanest thing anyone has ever said about Lincoln RileyDarude moves South CarolinaJason looks at a chalk season in a new lightRemember to place your Bama feelings in the proper historical context Another guest! Welcome Auburn Superfan JoshPlayoff update for our beloved Big Sky conferenceSURPRISE THIRD GUEST!!And so much moreVisit sunny preownedairboats.com! Subscribe to Vacation Bible School and Channel 6 and Buried Treasure! Listen to We’re Not All Like This and DNF! Sign your name away in full faith to Shutdown Fullbooks! (This last one is about to be VERY important)Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Huge breaking news out of the SEC West following Saturday’s games! Also, they went and fired JimboWhat’s next for A&M, Mississippi State, San Diego State, the previously-evacuated Northwestern and Michigan State gigs, and other assorted progrumsVisit sunny preownedairboats.com! Subscribe to Vacation Bible School and Channel 6 and Buried Treasure! Listen to We’re Not All Like This and DNF! Sign your name away in full faith to Shutdown Fullbooks! (This last one is about to be VERY important)Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTESThey may have been in Happy Valley, but to Michigan that’s just a trench, and the Wolverines will have you know there’s nothing cheerful about trench warfareThe removal of a Herm Edwards restrictor plate, and its consequencesBama has gone and drunk their Bama juiceSpencer definitely does not reveal his vote in the currently actually interesting Heisman raceBrock Bowers: very much operationalUnexpected froth and fireworks from Memphis!And so much moreVisit sunny preownedairboats.com! Subscribe to Vacation Bible School and Channel 6 and Buried Treasure! Listen to We’re Not All Like This and DNF! Sign your name away in full faith to Shutdown Fullbooks! (This last one is about to be VERY important)Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Are orcas Catholic? DiscussHolly provides a crucial update on the Pope’s Exorcist film franchiseIt’s past time you all learned about the Boyds, ringlords of East TennesseeMichigan’s rampaging streak of normal ones continues uncheckedcoming up: Jim Fight!Spencer invents Louisiana IowaJason anoints New BedlamVisit sunny preownedairboats.com! Subscribe to Vacation Bible School and Channel 6 and Buried Treasure! Listen to We’re Not All Like This and DNF! Sign your name away in full faith to Shutdown Fullbooks!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTESSome real vintage Fullcast audio here this week with Ryan calling in from the field while Jason once again floats between the realmsBedlam saves the best for lastBig Iowa Hole news!Army-Air Force: security concerns abound!Indiana had 20 first downs and 261 yards of offenseAnd so much moreVisit sunny preownedairboats.com! Subscribe to Vacation Bible School and Channel 6 and Buried Treasure! Listen to We’re Not All Like This and DNF! Sign your name away in full faith to Shutdown Fullbooks!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTESThe longest cold open in Fullcast historyDabo does his very best Julia Sugarbaker, which isn’t as good as Holly’s Julia Sugarbaker, but we’re sure he tried his bestFor a rich guy Dabo sure is sensitive about money!Let’s find some other 53-year-olds, for scientific comparisonOkay so who CAN we rely on, looking at the back third of the scheduleLet’s check in with Michigan, having another normal oneVisit sunny preownedairboats.com! Subscribe to Vacation Bible School and Channel 6 and Buried Treasure! Listen to We’re Not All Like This and DNF! Sign your name away in full faith to Shutdown Fullbooks!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTESA frank appreciation of the CW, the true home of college footballHappy Paul Johnson Night to all who observeCal and USC’s officiating crew did what, now?We explore with the help of our first-ever reader guest in this format!Surely the rest of Cal’s night was normal after all that, right?Dave Doeren cuts a promoThe specter of Double Farmageddon peeeeeeks over the horizonOnce again, Penn State, don’t worry, we saw youBig weekend for the Arizonae!Asking the big questions: Is Nebraska good now? Is Baylor bad?Oh, we also reinvented the postseason, againVisit sunny preownedairboats.com! Subscribe to Vacation Bible School and Channel 6 and Buried Treasure! Listen to We’re Not All Like This and DNF! Sign your name away in full faith to Shutdown Fullbooks!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTESChecking in with our friend Jenna EllisYeah that doesn’t take long, because uh-oh, Michigan is suddenly the crime mittenHow much … whatever … should we ascribe to head coaches in these situations?So what’s next for our boy Harbz?Putting this whole saga in context of the Big Ten (man this really does sound like a football podcast, doesn’t it, sorry about that)cares? Well, we’ll tell you!Hitler update!Don’t worry Penn State, we’ll get to youWhat SHOULD Penn State fans want?Let’s talk a little NFL and MLB because it’s fall y’all!!Jason presents playoff rankings triviaVisit sunny preownedairboats.com! Subscribe to Vacation Bible School and Channel 6 and Buried Treasure! Listen to We’re Not All Like This and DNF! Sign your name away in full faith to Shutdown Fullbooks!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTESYou have our solemn vow that this is the most you’ll ever hear from us about Hitler in a single episodeWe also promise that this mostly has nothing to do with it also being the horny episodeThe CW delivers the drama we’ve come to expect, yet again, complete with the defeat of an ancient vampireThis weekend in East Lansing, everything’s coming up 40sThe crew sits through the end of yet another Miami football situationPenn State confounds a nation, does not confound Ohio StateJason presents an ode to IowaHolly must cropeThe whole Big 12 is keyuuuuuuteIf you’re reading this, congratulations on your performance tonight for Kansas State“Mike Gundy was right” — SpencerMapping Bret BielemaFCS roundup! A bowl-eligible Georgia State emerges!Visit sunny preownedairboats.com! Subscribe to Vacation Bible School and Channel 6 and Buried Treasure! Listen to We’re Not All Like This and DNF! Sign your name away in full faith to Shutdown Fullbooks!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTESA sponsorship updateDispatch from our Rutgers correspondent, with theme music by SpencerNew bowl announced, by usDave Doeren, timelordRyan presents the tale of the Connecticut Lasagna BearPsyop advice for Jimbo FisherDeion to the NFL???Week 8 schedule preview! Who has been more obviously coddled to date, Ohio State or Penn State?Would you rather have coach buyout money or whole-team NIL money?Gauging the blood thirst of MichiganACC title rematch time! #hellyesDukeFootballPlay along at home as the crew attempts to guess the surprise snakebite capital of AmericaVisit sunny preownedairboats.com! Subscribe to Vacation Bible School and Channel 6 and Buried Treasure! Listen to We’re Not All Like This and DNF! Sign your name away in full faith to Shutdown Fullbooks!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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NOTESMack vs. Mario! Swim, Mario!Notre Dame’s potluck force punchHEADLINE: Pitt Put In PittastropheOregon-Washington celebrates vibes-based analyticsNice things about RutgersBama and A&M both tried their darndest to lose. In this, A&M was betterNBC’s juiceless, joyless Notre Dame broadcastsA seismic update from the top of FCS ballA formal transfer of stereotype from Penn State to MiamiThis week in CFB ads: fungal flush and free speech!Graham Mertz’s assassin turnThe newfound joys of CW footballScott Satterfield cosplaysThe crew and comment section adopt a series of new aliases as totally plausible NFL ownersWe're not the Associated Press, contrary to popular perception, but we would rank the JMU Dukes, personallyAnnouncing an exciting new top secret Mandela Effect game that YOU can play along at homeThe return of Midwestern VoicesVisit sunny preownedairboats.com! Subscribe to Vacation Bible School and Channel 6 and Buried Treasure! Listen to We’re Not All Like This and DNF! Sign your name away in full faith to Shutdown Fullbooks!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTESThe most we have ever talked about the moon without openly questioning the existence of the moonThere's really an uncharacteristic amount of football talk in the rest of the episode, and we feel kinda weird about that, but after watching the end of Miami-GT during the Saturday live show it turns out there's still a lot to process!A quietly radical exploration into the notion that football coaches are peopleVibes check with Mark StoopsField trip to Mannequin MountainCelebrity AND Champions Jeopardy! updates (WELCOME BACK, UNCLE SKIP)Life is too short to argue with Carolina Panthers fans on Instagram about IsraelVisit sunny preownedairboats.com! Subscribe to Vacation Bible School and Channel 6 and Buried Treasure! Listen to We’re Not All Like This and DNF! Sign your name away in full faith to Shutdown Fullbooks!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTESWwwwwwwelcome to Butt Week!Why is it Butt Week? For one thing, Baylor played Texas Tech. For another thing, well, look at the scores. Iowa State also played a small part in the visuals of Butt Week. Thank you, shimmering gams of Iowa State.You will note the absence of much USC-Arizona content. Most of the stupid parts of that game took place after we finished the show, believe it or not. Come back Wednesday!The stupid stuff in Georgia Tech-Miami, however, all takes place live right at the top of the show! Come on in!Don't let all the late-night tomfoolery obscure the memory of a truly great Red River ShootoutY'all took Jimbo's papers. You took Jimbo's papers, and just look what happened. He’s got anxiety. Nick, on the other hand, now has many papers, and is very happyDon't worry, Notre Dame; we'll get to youKentucky, thank you for thinking of our needsPossibly the nicest thing we've said about Nebraska in show historyA brief playoff baseball interludeWelcome back to October MarylandIowa's hot dog cannon malfunctioned, and you know what that means: We get to do voicesFinishing up the night with a unique crypto opportunityVisit sunny preownedairboats.com! Subscribe to Vacation Bible School and Channel 6 and Buried Treasure! Listen to We’re Not All Like This and DNF! Sign your name away in full faith to Shutdown Fullbooks!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTESThe show gets derailed in the usual amount of time (less than three minutes) via a totally unexpected source (Surber??!)To which former Gator do we all owe an apology?Notre Dame's statistically alarming situationshipHolly makes a correctionRyan introduces the team to NHL fanficSpencer is in charge of today's math lesson, which goes about how you think it willAudiences are thrilling to Jason's new hit teen drama, Boy YellowjacketsSurveying the wreckage of the Pitt superweaponBy far the most USF talk we've ever had in one episodeReassessing West VirginiaQueasily confronting the specter of a well-rounded Missouri squadThe Big 12's looming bowl logjamA modest proposal regarding Presidential petsVisit sunny preownedairboats.com! Subscribe to Vacation Bible School and Channel 6 and Buried Treasure! Listen to We’re Not All Like This and DNF! Sign your name away in full faith to Shutdown Fullbooks!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTESWhile you weren’t looking, FCS went out and staged an incredible blood weekCaleb Williams goes on a field tripThe secret environmentalism of Ole Miss footballY’all went and did it. You made Georgia resort to Brock Bowers. Are you happy now. Are youFor better or worse, it’s the one week of the year where we have to let Spencer and Ryan talk about Florida. This continues for several minutes. Do not be alarmedHow the Michigan-Nebraska score is actually worse than it looksA new bit of podcast businessOklahoma: more than ok??It’s time to talk to your family about 5-0 LouisvilleOther storylines far too numerous to list here!Visit sunny preownedairboats.com! Subscribe to Vacation Bible School and Channel 6 and Buried Treasure! Listen to We’re Not All Like This and DNF! Sign your name away in full faith to Shutdown Fullbooks!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTES A great deal of NFL content, the existence of which can obviously be blamed on it being Florida-Kentucky weekIt's time for another incidence of Spencer Hall, NaturalistWe break down some film!Jason walks us through some everyday threat assessmentRyan lays a trapWe uncover the female corollary to dudes and the Roman EmpireThe two genders of situational awarenessHolly learns Metal GearThe crew does some heavy terraformingFondly remembering some former sponsorsA little Week 4 schedule review, as a treatA scavenger hunt for our bunny-boilers out thereSetting up Dan Lanning's next elderly celebrity feudsVisit sunny preownedairboats.com! Subscribe to Vacation Bible School and Channel 6 and Buried Treasure! Listen to We’re Not All Like This and DNF! Sign your name away in full faith to Shutdown Fullbooks! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTES A live narration of Mack Brown's latest postgame energy vampire hugBama returns to form by making sure nobody has any funBoNix completes a pharmacist-alarming amount of consecutive passes!Ryan Day is going to fight a senior citizen and none of us are going to lift a finger to stop himIn praise of Dan Lanning's particular brand of heatNot caring what happens to Florida State frees us up to enjoy watching Florida StateWho's ready for Halloweendiana??Visit sunny preownedairboats.com! Subscribe to Vacation Bible School and Channel 6 and Buried Treasure! Listen to We’re Not All Like This and DNF! Sign your name away in full faith to Shutdown Fullbooks! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTESIt’s our first-ever non-emergent LOL BAMA LOST episode? CuriousClemson, that box score might be infectedThe gang meets a new presidential candidateFloating through the nebula of your mandatory Colorado opinionAssessing Daffy Duck as a physical threatVisit sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTES- Cap'n Surber, our intrepid producer and Actual Clemson Enthusiast, has some things on his heart!- The return of "Duke Football? HELL YES, Duke Football!" for any and all possible meanings of "Duke Football"- A genuinely educational segment on new NCAA clock rule changes that sends Jason to the precipice of an emotional abyss- A genuine appeal to let the rankings breathe a little- Michigan's main character syndrome- Which host is a font of Gilmore Girls lore? The answer may surprise you!- Let's look at Week 2, and imagine the stakes-based horrors to come!- Visit sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTESWeek One is not even close to done, but we’ve found another platform to haunt. You will never be rid of us. Visit sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Notes- IT'S COLLEGE FOOTBALL WEEK- IT'S COLLEGE FOOTBALL WEEK- IT'S COLLEGE FOOTBALL WEEK- IT'S COLLEGE FOOTBALL WEEK- IT'S COLLEGE FOOTBALL WEEK- Visit sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTESJason’s Epcot citizenship is revealedHow to celebrate Jim Harbaugh during his forthcoming suspensionNews about the Fullcast After Dark! Find out where and when it will be! Eventually!Genuinely exciting breaking news out of South CarolinaYOUR bold predictions take center stage as we sail into Week 0As always, visit sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTESHolly and Spencer fight a Greek god in real life … but which one??Which program’s message board culture is the most preternaturally chill heading into the season?Workshopping the concept of “rollover crimes”Ryan, like the SAW puppet but handsomer, introduces a new game that ends in a thrilling cliffhangerHolly offers some exclusive housekeeping tipsJason poses one of the great philosophical questions of our time (what is the most pointless decaffeinated beverage?), which sets the team down a dark pathAs always, visit sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTESThe gang assembles in front of the Shutdown Fullboard with erudite guest Charles “Ugarles” Star to do what we all do best: Thoroughly researched X&O breakdownsBreakdowns of what? Mind your own businessSpeaking of minding your own business: An appreciative Zaprudering of strength and conditioning levels on display during the recent bout of Montgomery Pontoon FugueA brief and uneventful visit to Ron Desantis’s WikiFeet pageBig podcast business week! Introducing Shutdown Fullbooks, Buried Treasure, and We’re Not All Like ThisAs always, visit sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTESRyan puts Spencer in the cold cold ground inside the 3-minute markToo hot in Miami for this much fleece, John Ruiz!Let’s Remember Some Schools The Pac-12 Could’ve HadHow far will the Big Ten’s historical fightiness go?Visit sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTESDid you know there’s a theme song that upsets nearby dogs more than the Casio Dog one? Right, so it’s this oneRyan does some cross-pond anthropology and spots a legendary creatureTodd plays the hero! Hello, Todd!Spencer discovers “The Most Hooters Death Possible”How basic knowledge of Gronk can help you meet new friends abroadAwww, HarburgersJason has prepared some Sober Michigan Discipline ContentThe team practices Bryan VanGorder awarenessThe team offers up great Barbenheimer moments in historyWe implore you to visit sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTES:Jimbo and Bobby Petrino are a weird pair in several ways besides the obvious onesJason uncovers a surprising tie between Nashville and Hoover media daysLet’s remember exactly what it is we’re talking about when we say “Jimbo Fisher offense” and/or “Bobby Petrino offense”Imagining Secret Santa in the A&M football officesLet’s talk about things that never happen in small towns, such as car thefts and liquor store robberiesFlag burnings add up financially! Nobody thinks about this!Guest producer Jeremy is a proud Citronaut; naturally this derails us into space grantsHolly uses the power of AI to generate a better country song for the dumb countrymanSpencer gets to the big question: Since when are country music singers so snuggly-wuggly about courthouses?Visit sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Pinkerton Pat Sent PackingSHOW NOTES“This is the tuna that has a little bit of dolphin in it, and I think it tastes better.”Get in, sailors, we’re going to the Titanic MuseumFine, Northwestern talk, goThen we play a game! The game is Let’s Remember Some Guys Who Might Want This Northwestern Job“Dave Clawson, go get the Ohio State job!”Visit sunny preownedairboats.comLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Like a field trip that gets cut short early, we simply had too many people making terrible choices to fit into one Do-it-yourself Disasters episode, so we constructed another. It is not up to code and it keeps popping random breakers and the wall has a bubble in it now but I’m pretty sure it’s fine. Stories include:The three words you need to make any great storyDad vs. the Winter Heating Bill(David Byrne voice) We Built A Door To NowhereYour body is a series of buttholesFlorida Dad Turns Bathroom Into “Wine Room”The sequel to the Legend of Double Broom: Double LadderHow to turn internet pornography into a gaming systemVisit preownedairboats.com to buy stickers that we don’t recommend you use to tape your bathroom sink back togetherLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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At the intersection of “self-confidence” and “structural fire” you’ll find three of the most dangerous words in the English language: Do It Yourself. On this Fullcast, we review your tales (or, often the tales of your dads) attempting to remake the world and the catastrophes that result. Tune in next week for Part 2!The most ambitious piece of checked baggage in the history of air travelPerils of washing your bowling ballHow to identify the point in a YouTube repair video when you need to call a professionalDON’T MAKE YOUR OWN POOL CHEMICALSTreehouse inspections gone wrongThe Legend of Double BroomLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTESThe Meg cinematic universe is updatedFlorida’s got it all figured out, says SpencerHolly has a game for you, and Surber deploys some game theoryJason invents the book gunCelebrating LSU’s off-field performance in the College World SeriesDrafting a new college baseball powerVisit sunny preownedairboats.com, won’t you please?Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTESSpencer is pranked, with unexpected resultsWhich hosts have been kicked out of a go-kart track?The Chris Berman/Strega Nona collab we’ve been waiting forA brief history of BallA game! Who’s got the most corrupt mega boosters hiding in their walls?Visit preownedairboats dot com, won’t you?Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTESRyan takes us on a mythological exploration of languageLanguage is also what has landed our good buddy Jay Arnold in hot water (food reference) online! He expressed a good-hearted opinion, and must be punished for that.Spencer bought LIV Golf, please direct all complaints to himJason breaks some important transfer portal newsPlotting the next international college football gameA brief return to the moon, for churchRegional foodstuffs are debatedThe noble hatch chile is honoredThe big pants debate, againLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTESBut first: Free The Italian Killer Bear, he is needed at the railroadWhere do this year’s NBA playoffs fit within the wider galaxy of the Hating EconomyWhich division almanac forecasts a bumper crop of disrespect in 2023 for league frontrunners?Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTESA special demographic survey of UCFGreat week for scandals! Kevin Warren, you’re up firstSpencer presents Big Ten Lawyer AnimeNow, with some real grown person problems: the Pac-12!Which school would make the best use of an extra 7 billion dollars?Charity Bowl wrapup and negotiations for Spencer’s subsequent humiliationA surprise musical numberLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Down half the host roster, Spencer and Ryan have control of this ship and take it to totally normal places like:Why West Virginia fans should contribute $19.07 to this year's Charity Bowl at www.edsbscharitybowl.comA passionate defense of Dog Law (the laws by which dogs live)Imagining what the world looks like if South Carolina wins an SEC titleIssuing a challenge of historical import to NBA2K YouTubersTaking Canada down a damn peg for onceLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Sexy King Charles Coronation Special, or RAT KINGS OF LOW EARTH ORBITSHOW NOTESOur horniest ever episode begins, as so many of our shows do, on the moonYes, Stanford figures prominently during the show; we promise there's sexy stuff laterMulti-species Taco Tuesday remains a far-off dream, but Zoom Divorce Court is already hereAn interview with a member of the Los Angeles Philharmonic, and if you don't understand why that's significant, just go with itOrgies, definedPretty sure we could all take this "King's Champion"The gang becomes increasingly upset at the poorly managed inventory of Charles and CamillaLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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2023 Draft Week Featuring 7 Different Drafts At OnceNOTESHad enough of mock drafts? Great, this web of drafts designed by Jason is frighteningly realThe best Ole Miss story in yearsWhich host drafts a steak biscuit Pokemon? The answer may surprise you!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTESIntroducing the Mamas' Buttz family of businessesDeciphering the locations of the World's Strongest Man competitionIntroducing hilljack chatbot HollerGPTSurber has some things on his heart to unburden in the direction of Russell WilsonSpencer's emotional history of golf"You know what's NOT cool? Vaping."Have you ever heard about the Washington Football counterfeit ballpark peanuts scandal? You're about to!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Mike Golic Jr. of GoJo joins Spencer, Jason, and Ryan to review important NFL Draft storylines, including:The simple wisdom of "JUST BALL OUT"Which players Spencer and Mike are most excited to discussWhy CFB doesn't have good heel teams these daysThe cocaine scene in Connecticut during the summerExploring the universal appeal of A Big HossLearn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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This week’s combination mailbag episode and preseason practice will coach you up to the elite level of callers regularly featured on the show. Also, Spencer is afraid of basketball.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTESRyan is nude, againWhich hosts gain and lose items of clothing in their sleep? The answer may surprise you!Also starring the sublime sounds of Petey Pablo PMSpencer is alarmingly easy to pickpocket"Who brought a porcupine to the petting zoo?"Introducing Predator Parent MagazineBringing TRUE Hollywood star power to Rasslemania 2023Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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SHOW NOTESFolks it’s our international episodeAmong the international aspects of this college football podcast: civil awards. Beachfront monkey attacks. Baseball injuries throughout history. American-Italian football celebrations. And more ???Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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ESPN reporter extraordinaire Don Van Natta Jr. joins Spencer and Holly to tell the epic tale of how Mark Davis, the man once described by an NFL source as "a boob," somehow outflanked casino magnate Sheldon Adelson on the way to moving the Raiders from Oakland to Las Vegas.

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Notes…

Yet another discussion of Noah, History's First Regretful Boat Owner

The World Cup gives D.C. what it really craves: sports disappointment

The petrochemical state of the SEC West, including one school we think might burn chickens for heat

LeBron James, French Toast Hercules

Let's assume LIV Football will be a thing and figure out who's joining up, when, and why, and what the NCAA will do in response (it's nothing, absolutely nothing)

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SHOW NOTES

A tour through dads of the western canon, featuring its three most prominent pillars: Greek mythology, the Bible, and Star Wars

The danger of making your own energy-efficient garage door

Spencer does an accent again, sorry

We were fighting the audio haint for much of this recording and as a result accidentally glossed over Jason inventing NASA Applebees but that’s our trademark

Why sparkler disasters are better than other fireworks disasters

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A new era of talkin' bout the Noles dawns

For new listeners: What IS a Fullcast Disaster?

Introducing Dad A and Dad B, our new national champions of self-inflicted wildlife injuries

Contains spoilers for Splash Mountain, the ride

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In hindsight, Finnish prohibition may have been ill-conceived

Gaming out the secession of Wisconsin

The surprising historical origins of the "horse girl"

A short history of British basketball

Dutch horse navy >>>>> German war balloons

Introducing FenderCare, the dog park for lonely cars

Your calls, after the break

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Fully 20 minutes of free advertising for Hard Mountain Dew. SPONSOR US WE LOVE YOU
Introducing the Green Bay School of Ayurvedic Medicine!
It’s February, and everyone is sad!
Phil Mickelson! Wow!
BEAR OF EXCEPTIONAL SIZE NEWS
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FOLKS, we have corralled for your personal enjoyment one recent Jeopardy(!) winner, one former classmate of Cap'n Surber, one distant cousin of Holly's, and one dapper-dressed stay-at-home uncle, all contained within the form of East Bend, North Carolina’s own "Uncle" Lawrence "Skip" Long
You may actually not ever guess where Jason is this week, at least not if you’re Spencer; fortunately we tell you right up front
Elements introduced into the Lore this week include the concept of "wine uncles" as well as "luxury sideburns"
One host spends this entire time trying to figure out whether or not this means they can get on Jeopardy or not
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Tennessee has the same problems over and over again; you can tell them apart from Auburn because Auburn has different problems every time!
Introducing Spencer’s perpetual Warhammer purchasing machine
Jackass and Moonfall are here to save you from caring about the Oscars
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Welcome noted Cincinnati export and most prestigious flower of the EDSBS coaching tree, Jane Coaston!
Spencer thinks rocking chairs don’t want it enough
A detailed film review of the Golden Corral brawl
We lost vigilance and the Applebees song snuck back into the public’s ears via the NFL
The Marines are at it again
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Our unstoppable train of Dawg-respecting is blasting through your tiny town to bring you the good news: the 2008 Florida football team was not very good!
Boats These Days: Are they too big now?
"Fellas, is it gay to be buried in the earth after death?" Worry no more!
Midway through this episode, Spencer begins insisting that Jason Statham, the actor, has "range"; best of luck hanging on until the end.
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We knew about Josh Allen this entire time, and if we have ever indicated anything to the contrary, we were clearly bluffing

Dildo Jai Alai is invented

We are giving Satan too much gas

Introducing two new segments, “how’s the Tahoe?“ And “let’s remember some dawgs“

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Celebrating the great victory for our shiny cerulean antifa state!
Hear our entire production meeting as a preshow treat, not a postproduction glitch! It's mostly about the dadlife murder fantasia "Yellowstone" masquerading as prestige television and the people who have lied to us about that.
Is Mark Richt totally Mark Wrecked over Kirby winning a title with yet another no-account quarterback?
From the Great Beyond of parental leave, hear Ryan's theory about what took so long for Georgia to get this one done!
Jason returns home with a newfound appreciation for Indianapolis!
Everyone on the show adds "Get in a barfight on GMA" to their respective bucket lists.
The gang invents an entirely new kind of funeral, the “Catch-a-Carl."
Welcome to the Fullcast EU, airborne sensei Ronald O. Hamburger!
Spencer mixes up "less than zero chance" with "greater than zero chance" – will this have consequences??
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Holly, Jason, and Spencer review the two most important things we can talk about this week. The first is a national title game between Georgia and Alabama. The second is a regional tradition of building an entire floor of a house devoted to a single unprotected toilet.

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In part three of this year's 40 for 40 preview spectacular, Holly, Jason, and Spencer cover

Why tertiary character Pat Narduzzi can't carry a full storyline by himself for Pitt
Wisconsin getting the classic "garden hose of Jack" at a Vegas buffet
Utah playing every snap with eleven fullbacks on every play
The exhausting personal life of Tony the Tiger at the Sun Bowl
A generic preview of your bowl game if it gets canceled after we publish this podcast

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Holly, Jason, and Spencer dive into the second installment of our annual 40 for 40 bowl previews, including such important questions as:

"Will anyone show up to play for Hawaii?"
"Is Dave Doeren an actual person, and is he good at his job?"
"Has Jason solved the human question of how to combat existential despair with the Breakfast Crunchwrap?"
"Can we manifest Mack Brown covered in mayonnaise, and if so how much mayonnaise we talkin' here?"

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Holly, Jason, Ryan, and Spencer speedrun the early slate of bowls, including answering important questions like:

1. Which sponsors can be milled into a #nutritious #paste?

2. Why is Pac-12 champion BYU playing UAB in Shreveport?

3. What bowl game matchup sounds most like a super racist Supreme Court case?

4. Will San Diego State win despite a determination to do absolutely nothing but punt?

5. Gasparilla Bowl? (SOURCE????)

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Welcome to Gooch Week, that liminal space between conference championships and bowl games, peppered here and there by Army/Navy, FCS playoffs, and other sundry entertainments. We are here to craft a sprawling and terrifying narrative around the mothballed Showbiz Pizza robot known only as Antioch, The Birthday Spider. Sleep tight!

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Can we roll dice in order to fill not just the Oklahoma and Notre Dame jobs, but every single open head coaching job in FBS? (The answer: Yes, but it might end up with Lane Kiffin coaching at a genuinely shocking destination.)

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The Advice Show Trilogy comes to a thunderous end with THE RETURN OF THE ADVICE, with perfect answers including:

The Sims being a deadly accurate portrayal of life and social media
A game of "Actual Country Music Title versus AI-Generated Country Music Title"
Waiting for enlightenment at Waffle House
A review of midlife crisis vehicles
A discussion of history's most infamous cesspool disaster

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The intrepid crew of the good ship Fullcast are joined by Michael Felder and Emily Kirk for a series of loud arguments concerning Thanksgiving and the celebration thereof.

POINTS OF COMBAT INCLUDE:

What is the correct Thanksgiving meat?
Which holidays are best for greens?
Is pecan pie trash?
Is chess pie trash?
Casseroles: why are they?
Whose family makes the worst macaroni?
PLUS: Ryan makes a devastating threat against Spencer's dinner table that ends in a harrowing cliffhanger
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On what we like to call #GivingTuesday, the Fullcast crew opened the floor for those seeking advice. On the way to solving all of our reader's life problems we invented the Georgia Divorce Ranch, Cryptocurrency for Kids, and the world's dankest roulette wheel. Put all of your listening dollars on 69, and subscribe and thrive.

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To celebrate the advent of November and crunch time in college football, we spend all but thirty seconds of this episode discussing the trials and tribulations of owning and properly caring for an emotional support monkey.

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The intrepid crew of the good spaceship Shutdown Fullcast takes a mid-season break from their ceaseless analysis of college football to stage a mock draft of video game franchises you'd take to a desert island.
Backs are stabbed over Dr. Mario! Fronts are stabbed over Zelda! Ryan does a pretty great Wave Race voice!
And stalwart Cap'n Surber reveals unexplored depths of competitive energy around a Belgian mountain range ... but which one??
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On this episode, we have guest Michael Felder from Hand in the Dirt to discuss the marvels of Arkansas QB KJ Jefferson, going to the movies around retirement home schedules, how the wedge salad is "The Bloomin' Onion of healthy foods," the terror of the fade route, and Spencer tries to convince everyone the best job in college football involves the alma mater of the most successful vampire fiction author of all time.

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We talk about the stupidest fights we've ever seen. Then, we review a simply incredible list of reader submitted fights including:

--Soldiers staging a multi-room brawl over a ham sandwich

--Tussling over the rules of...hacky-sack?

--A man fighting for his right to eat old beef

There's also a discussion of how to license mobile hot tubs, what Mike and the Mad Dog would have made of League of Their Own, and we figure out which school is Satanic Hogwarts with a skate park.

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This week the Fullcast discusses trading Florida for Italy, why Big Tex should be burned down every year at Texas/OU, discusses how potatoes are a more desirable commodity than time, looks at how hard Arkansas and Ole Miss will try way too hard to make something happen this weekend, and we beg everyone to please stop putting Arizona in the cart.

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The thrilling conclusion to our Summer Stonks Challenge
We get a pretty long way into the show before we realize we’re creating a financial crime … or is it a mutual fund??
Jason and Holly go on a heist, leaving Ryan and Spencer to preview Week 5
Does anybody want to be our CFO? Jail time all but guaranteed
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The crew discusses UConn-Vanderbilt, one of the most attendable* games of this season before moving on to the important stuff: a meticulous and painstaking guide to regional fast food ordering, which winds up angering our beloved producer more than anything else we've ever said on this show.

*Unless you're a 12-foot skeleton

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The gang invents an insurance company
Step right up to the USC coaching search carousel! Does that horse have Pat Haden's face? Mind your own business!
Jordan Battle, hail and farewell
A lot of background screaming, but for a good reason this time
There's also a ton of football talk in this episode, we don't feel great about that either
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We made Ryan watch the Applebee's commercial
Spencer does charades, on a podcast
Titanic is a movie about a thriving lady who rids herself of a worthless man
We have re-declared war on England, this is largely unrelated to Titanic
All of this happens before the 20-minute mark

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Bret Bielema has a little Drax in him. Don’t make us like you, Bert.
A sharp detour through Atlanta’s Dudes Rock! House
Some grudging anticipation of Week 1! Did you know there’s football tonight??
An announcement about the future of the Fullcast!
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It's the back-to-school special edition of our beloved Disasters series, which runs for less than one minute before you get Spencer saying "I think they thought I was dead"
A loving retelling of a piece of Jason lore known to true Fullcasteers as "The Ozymandias Incident"
A haunting ghost story from Surber about a phantom dildo
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Notes: The gang picks their preseason top four college football teams. What do you mean, “This sounds like a trap”? Look, just get through Spencer’s alarming affection for Tim Tebow and we promise there’s jokes on the other side. Visit sunny preownedairboats.com!

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The Coaches Poll is out! Marshall and Florida State are made rivals by it!
Is there an NFL washout hiding in the staff ranks at your school? You sure about that?
The gang weathers a rare attack of NFL Dean Terror
Holly invents Clemson Denial
Jason plays film critic! This week: OLD BEACH, a movie
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HOTTY PODDY, Y'ALL. We revisit a beloved classic Fullcast format, and game out what might happen if (when) the newly expanded SEC goes to war … with itself. Jason is our Dan Carlin Dungeonmaster, as always.
Naturally, this all leads to a number of gumbo arguments.
Featuring a surprise Split Zone Duo guest! Don't worry, it's not Godfrey.
The whole gang agrees on something for the first time in show history.
We have had another online commerce incident. Still not Ryan's fault!!
NEW BUSINESS IDEA: Wingstop + Zales???

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- We made a bunch of new conferences, and got rid of all the other schools, you are welcome.

- This is a lot of work, so we brought in two (2) NEW guest conference commissioners.

Because we had company, the episode suffers a massive audio failure halfway through.
A new musical instrument joins the show!

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Because we work with and around Braves fans, we decided to spend this episode contemplating the losses that have pushed various fanbases to consider just walking away and being done with the whole thing. Warning: if you are a fan of the Pirates, Bengals, and Arkansas, this will be a super unpleasant episode for you. But your life is probably kinda weird to start with, no?

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Spencer, Holly, and Jason enjoyed Iowa-Michigan the way they didn't know it was intended to be consumed: entirely via Michigan radio broadcast. (Ryan just watched it on TV, like an idiot.) That's why most of this episode is Midwestern chortling and shouting, even when we talk about:

The ACC embracing nonsense as a conference identity
The Tennessee squirrel
Whether or not Pitt can fire the superweapon again, or even fired it at all
Auburn-Florida
Whatever the hell the Pac-12 is doing

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A hearty thank you to all the wonderful people who came out to our live show in Charlotte, where we did what any good guest would do and mostly just trashed the ACC. But, you know, in fun Fullcast ways. Did this tick off one person in attendance to the point where he almost kind of sort of tried to take over the show? Yes, but he's right that the ACC has won two of the last three national titles, a thing we definitely did not know and nobody talks about.

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Hi, it's Ryan. I'm not on this episode because my internet was being a real shit, and I haven't listened to it yet, so I have no idea what it contains! I predict there's probably some talk about Rutgers and UNC, and Spencer probably freaks out about the Auburn-Florida game. Maybe something about Virginia Tech getting flattened by Duke? Shrug. Let's find out together. Surely I won't be mocked and slandered on this episode!

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It's time to stop and reflect on the season that's been. (Yes, we know there's still a lot of season still to come. Hush.) We're talking September Heisman, figuring out what happened in the early part of the season that will stick in our memories, handing out some Assies, recognizing statistical leaders like Evan Weaver, Tackle Bear, and arguing about cake.

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It's time to stop and reflect on the season that's been. (Yes, we know there's still a lot of season still to come. Hush.) We're talking September Heisman, figuring out what happened in the early part of the season that will stick in our memories, handing out some Assies, recognizing statistical leaders like Evan Weaver, Tackle Bear, and arguing about cake.

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Two things you will learn on this episode:
1. Never watch Georgia!
2. Always watch the Pac-12!

Other things you will heard discussed on this episode!
- The delightful weirdness of UCLA-Washington State
- Pitt saved its only good idea for an opponent who might not even be accredited
- The worst Arkansas team to ever be televised
- Finally, communism accomplishes something

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Blood Week (which Jason and Ryan laid out a helpful guide to here) usually happens later in the calendar, but there's nothing stopping it from popping up earlier. We looked at three Septembers where the rankings became a real revolving door.

2008, when Blood Week went to both coasts
1974, when Blood Week become Blood Fortnight
And 1984, when we had a whole dang BLOOD MONTH

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We didn't necessarily learn a lot in Week 3, but what we did was important: just because Iowa-Iowa State is El Assico doesn't mean several other games aren't also El Assico. Looking at you, Florida-Kentucky. And Pitt-Penn State. And Michigan State-Arizona State. BONUS: stay to the end and learn about the dumbest midgame crowd entertainment plan ever, courtesy of Indiana!

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We went back to Texas, and this time we talked about something wholly irrelevant to the audience: dead or mostly dead rivalries. Does that mean we spent a lot of time on Mizzou and Nebraska? Yes, yes it does. We're very good at reading the room, and for the right amount of money, we will perform at your wedding.

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Like Hugh Freeze, Spencer's "out sick" for this episode, so Holly, Jason, and Ryan get to dissect Week 2, from LSU's fireworks stand offense to Hawaii controlling the Pac-12 to which OTHER old Tennessee coaches should take over for Jeremy Pruitt to P.J. Fleck getting enough video game cash to buy something other than the default outfit.

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Long ago, Colorado decided it was going to turn Nebraska into a rival. It took a while to work, but the Buffs pulled it off, so we're following their example and creating new potential rivalries of our own with your help. (Oh, we also wrote some of them down.) This episode is also about Spencer being a coastal elite with a sincere love for Italian sparkling wine, if any of that appeals to you.

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Look, there's a significant amount of football discussion on this episode, seeing how Tennessee lost at home to Georgia State and (other football games that are not nearly as funny as that). I'm sure we said funny or insightful or stupid things about those games, but let's be honest about why we're all here: to talk about Hugh Freeze coaching a football game from a hospital bed they put in the press box.

Because Hugh Freeze coached a football game from a hospital bed they put in the press box.

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ATTENTION LAWYERS: THIS IS NOT THE HEISMAN TROPHY WE"RE TALKING ABOUT. PLEASE DO NOT SUE US, AS WE DON'T HAVE MUCH MONEY ANYWAYS. This episode is about the People's Heisman, an entirely different award in that it doesn't currently exist in trophy form and has never formally been awarded to anyone, and a very similar award in that we only sort of kind of decided who qualifies for it. Simply put, the People's Heisman is for the players we remember fondly not necessarily because they were the best or most accomplished but because they were just so very memorable. It's for a Quinton Flowers, or a Joel Lanning, or a Scooby Wright, or a Jared Lorezen (RIP).

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Between Florida and Miami trying to melt down in any possible direction and Hawaii-Arizona doing the same but with way more scoring and quarterbacks who look like they wanna fight Johnny Utah, Week 0 was...a colossal success! We talk about that and a few storylines we'll be throwing our stupid little hearts into this year.

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Congratulations! You have decided to start listening to the Shutdown Fullcast, the world's only college football podcast. This episode is designed to help you understand the accumulated lore, riffs, and nonsense that make up the fabric of this show, but because it was designed by the hosts, it may not prove to be very helpful. If you are here because of a friend who recommended the show, please tell them thanks from us. If you are here because of a friend who has pranked you, please tell them thanks from us anyways.

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Nobody had ever thought to have people send in questions that podcast hosts could answer on a recorded episode. But then we went and did it, because we're podcast innovators. Please send us thousands of dollars so we can consult for your business or whatever.

The questions on this episode include, but are not limited to:
- Who takes over at Bama after Nick Saban?
- What team is most ready to explode into a dumpster fire?
- What would you choose as the mascot if you were the AD of a new program?
- How are our skin care routines looking?
- Which children's entertainment is the worst?
- What is a blender's highest use?
- Did people think Garth Brooks was sexy in the mid 90s?

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Vacations are like any other carefully planned human endeavor: they are subject to complete and total collapse, from predictable factors and from shit you never saw coming. You, the listeners, have pooped yourselves, seriously injured yourselves, left each other in jail on false charges, been conquered by Disney, and caused permanent damage to your relationships. Fortunately, we have done these things, too. The Shutdown Fullcast: We All Sink Down Here!

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Our listeners share their tips and tricks for a more pleasant Saturday viewing experience, we discuss the college football destinations we have yet to enjoy but want to visit, and somehow we talk about clothes Ryan bought in middle school.

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As we approach a new season of college football, we, as esteemed members of the national media, have an important job before us: to embrace bold, possibly stupid, predictions about what is yet to come and spread them into the world. But we want to break down the distinction between "host" and "listener," which is why we have turned this honored task into a game that you can play as well! Go to https://forms.gle/gJH1TH9HhkkyUyQY6 to enter, and throughout the season we'll tell you exactly how much better you are than Ryan at this.

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Blood Week: the week (or weeks) in a college football season where maximum chaos is realized, and the status quo is upturned by as many upsets as the sport can stuff into its craw in one stretch. That usually happens in the middle of the schedule, but there's no rule saying Blood Week has to be then. So we decided to hunt for the bloodiest Week 1 in the sport's history. Without totally spoiling it, our choice includes:

A wasted trip to Anaheim, California
Golf clubs used as rescue devices
A mountain hero named Earl

Remember - if you enjoy the Shutdown Fullcast, tell a friend and leave us a nice review! If you do not enjoy the Shutdown Fullcast, write your thoughts down on a letter that will be sent to us only upon your death! We won't be able to argue with you! Ultimate victory is within your grasp!!

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It's time for you to get some religion, and by religion I mean finding the story, character, or book of the Bible that best fits different college teams and entities. We split the good book into different assignments: Ryan leads off with the New Testament, Holly gives us a very personal digression into the Book of Revelation, and Jason takes the Old Testament with a few bonus books. Spencer? Spencer didn't do his homework, and is condemned to Hell. Or possibly saved from Hell because this podcast concept is inherently blasphemous? Unclear.

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Did you know: there are no college football games scheduled to be played in May, or June, or July of this year. So we might as well talk about old games we enjoy rewatching. (We does not mean Ryan, who lives in a remote hamlet without access to electricity. Stupid, stupid Ryan.)

Topics include:
Welcome to the EDSBS Book Club, may god have mercy on your soul / College football games we all would watch right now / The time Oregon blew a 31-0 lead to a TCU team with a backup QB named "Bram Kohlhausen" / A review of infamous and inhumane beatdowns we would watch with glee

POWERED BY BIG ANGEL ENERGY

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This is what happens when you get five people who have spent way too much time watching or rewatching comic book movies and then let them indulge their most polarizing selves. Captain Marvel is a NASCAR movie. Terrence Howard should have stayed as Rhodey! The MCU did Brexit!

Thank you for listening to our college football podcast.

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Harry Lyles Jr. joins us for a very serious and analytical 2019 NFL Mock Draft, because we definitely know all of the team needs in this Draft and have ground as much tape as humanly possible to identify breakout stars and busts. We would never make a bunch of dumb joke picks that left one of the best players completely skipped over in the first round while a kicker got taken in the top 15. And we definitely would not forget who plays for the Miami Dolphins! That's not this show, because this show is about SERIOUS FOOTBALL SERIOUSNESS.

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We're here to ponder which schools would be the funniest first-time national champs in college football (oh right, we cover college football). Oregon is not discussed in this context, because Michael Dyer was down.

And first, let's discuss the funnest parts of the 2019 Charity Bowl, which allows you to:

help people in need
shame your rivals
force Spencer to get a 1990 Citrus Bowl Champs tattoo

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But first, Holly has some enriching homework for you
How pro wrestling explains college football and everything else
Kofi Kingston vs. Vince McMahon, the most uncomfortably on-the-nose wrestling feud
A lot about LeBron, for some reason
That's a lie
There's never a reason
Some more wrestling stuff happens?
The offseason will continue and some day the universe will end, thanks for listening

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Los Homely Boys got together in person to talk about the important social issue of the day: Dan Mullen's billowy pants. Per Fullcast statute, there is also some discussion of the Bible and Star Wars, both of which, again, are related to pants. Don't worry, though - we've made our own individual fashion choices that didn't pan out, and so did a couple SPECIAL TEMPORARY GUESTS!

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What podcast can take a screenshot of a simple chyron error from a local news station in Alabama and turn it into a hastily planned, poorly recorded episode about the SEC Sex Tournament as if that's a real thing or a worthwhile topic? You know who, buddy. You know damn well who.

Please note: no episode of the Shutdown Fullcast feels safe for children but this one probably shouldn't even be played on a device that children might later use. Just throw your phone into one of those biohazard bins at the doctor's office after you finish listening.

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The Shutdown Fullcast heads to the home of Big Cow himself for our first ever ANIMAL DISASTERS episode. What kind of disasters?

The kind where someone decides "a gun in a Publix" is a solution
The kind that involve early 20th century Atlantic City
The kind where your Dad ends up putting multiple holes in the wall
The kind where a mascot becomes a serial killer
Tennessee Volunteers football

And so forth. Somehow, Ryan forgot to bring up Noah at all on this episode! What an idiot. (Please note: this is a slightly shorter episode than usual because we cut out the Q&A portion of the show. You gotta show up in person if you want to learn those secrets, sucker.)

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Yes, the dings stop eventually
IT'S WATER POLO CRIMES DAY!
Psychological profile of hero fugitive Aunt Becky
Consider Arizona State and stay out of jail, you rich nerds
Which SEC team best combines Lord of the Rings and paintball?
Live Brexit updates and analysis
Our new and forever enemy, the worst brand on earth: Mossimo

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We, the 2019 State Draft GMs, are splitting the country into five teams for very weird reasons. Why are we doing this at all? You ask too many questions! Just like a cop! WE GOT A COP HERE!

Four teams are good. One is bad. I think you know where Florida ends up
What's the point of this? How do you win? I'm surprised you think there's an answer, but thank you for trying
Who'll be the first to pick a state that was already picked?
What is the state dessert of Missouri?
More explosive: DK Metcalf or the state of Mississippi's geology itself?
Which of us is just playing an actual board game the entire time?

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Yup, it's Combine time, but we're gonna talk about comic books so deal with it. TOPICS INCLUDE:

Jared Lorenzen would dust you
Vernon Davis vs. The Hulk, who ya got
To this day, all DC characters are written by 8-year-old boys
Character risk? Captain America’s old tweets are a red flag
Which Big 12 team is Galactus?
Advanced analytics: We already know which X-Man would win the 3-cone drill
We love our big stupid Thor

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With the signature timeliness only the Shutdown Fullcast can bring, we're here to discuss football's hot new league, the AAF. It's definitely financially stable and you know that because Rick Neuheisel came here from the Pac-12 Network. Everything he touches turns to gold! I'm pretty sure there's some weird Papa John talk on here as well, though that could be true of any Fullcast episode. Ok, have a great day!

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Holly, Spencer, and Jason are joined by Bud Elliott, SB Nation's foremost recruiting expert/lawncare superexpert/State of Florida hypersuper expert. They answer your questions about all of those topics and also get easily distracted, because that's how this show works.

Topics include:

The hardest positions to evaluate from high school to college
Bud goes in on FSU again
Lawns are just places to store unwanted dads
Chip Kelly wants you to pick a lunch place
Why you should text recruits because the phone is now evil
Scouting Bad Boy Mowers' catalog for five-star recruits
Very hesitant and skeptical Tennessee praise
Chip Kelly doesn't like any of the places you picked for lunch

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You might not have been paying close attention to all the coaching changes in college football over the last couple months, what with bowl games and the playoff and early signing day and the New Year's party you planned that went off the rails because Todd brought Bacardi 151 even though you only asked him to get a couple bottles of wine. Most of us weren't paying attention either, so Jason decided to quiz us as a team to see how many coaching hires we could name.

But first Ryan made everyone talk about Noah, and then Spencer and Holly wanted to share a story of the new friend they made during Super Bowl week.

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Hanif Abdurraqib (@NifMuhammad) is an accomplished poet, essayist, and cultural critic who has a new book coming out, Go Ahead in the Rain: Notes to A Tribe Called Quest. He's also from Columbus and an Ohio State fan, so yeah, we made him talk about Craig Krenzel, the Ohio-Florida mirror relationship, and where he was when the Buckeyes lost to Purdue this year. We also talked about children being mean to Tom Brady because it's good when children are mean to Tom Brady. Tell your children to be mean to Tom Brady, please!

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From frozen pizzas to self-inflicted food poisoning to the saddest French onion soup in the world, you, our listeners, have managed to truly create disasters that didn't even seem possible in your culinary endeavors. (Seriously, how has MORE THAN ONE OF YOU destroyed a microwave by using it as a timer?) We did not hang you out to dry, however, as we have our own failures to share - including Jason's wife burning down an apartment building before she was old enough to go to school.

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The offseason is upon us, which means it's time for all of us to set goals for ourselves and our teams. Will we achieve them? Probably not, but that will not stop us from doing this all again next year. Go Human Brains! Topics on this episode include:

3:21 - The Fullcast hosts as Pokemon types

4:29 - A tribute to a truly great college football hater

15:41 - Your/Our Offseason Goals!

26:57 - What if Dan Mullen poses nude with a shark?

35:12 - Let’s talk about the White House Burger Spread

48:12 - Ok more of Your Offseason Goals

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Saban got whooped by The Walt Disney Company!
Bama was just a couple bounces away from making this STILL NOT A CONTEST LMAO.
Let's talk GAME OF THE YEAR.
Replace the Pac-12 Network with Oklahoma Foot Streamers.
Spencer's so proud of winning a Peach Bowl, he's basically a UCF fan now.
What's the best truck crime?
Let's talk TEAM OF THE YEAR.
Mods are asleep, so Washington State is posting.

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That's right, it's the MIDGAME SHUTDOWN CONFERENCE FULLCALL! Featuring:

Special guests Pablo Torre and Bomani Jones
The audio just totally fucking dying pretty early on and poor Pablo wondering what he's been duped into
Delayed reactions to some of the football action because streaming
Snake governments and strip club franchising and casting the movie of this game
About as much football talk as you'd expect

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That's right, it's time to talk about the last game of the college football season...a third of the way into this college football podcast. GO FULLCAST GO! Your itinerary follows:

3:22 - Does the Bay Area know they’re hosting the National Championship?

8:38 - A brief, NSFW John Mellencamp digression

9:51 - PODCAST BUSINESS

16:22 - The Coaches Room Broadcast, except we get Mark Richt a little baked

17:47 - He’s Big Cow, etc.

20:08 - The point at which we actually start talking about Clemson-Bama

42:26 - Listeners propose alternate title game locations

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Yup, the Fighting Irish made it to a big game and got killed, a thing that has happened so many times before that we got to revisit several regular season and bowl game failings by Notre Dame before we even started to talk about the most recent one. Playoff Like A Champion Today! Other topics include:

13:27 - Die Hard explains the Playoffs, kind of, not really

17:03 - If you’re a Gamecock fan just skip like three minutes ahead at this point

19:33 - Nope, not here for your playoff complaints

24:42 - Hey, why did Georgia miss the playoff again?

27:29 - Spencer taunted a Michigan child

37:04 - Farewell, Mark Richt / Bienvenue, Ryan Brothers Farting On Boats

(Yeah, we recorded that entire last segment within the 9 hours where Mark Richt had retired and Manny Diaz had not yet taken the job.)

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Appearing on this program per usual: Spencer, Holly, Jason

Appearing on this program only via submitted texts to his cohosts because he lost his voice and getting sick during the holidays is some bullshit: Ryan

Bowls discussed on this episode:

6:06: THE OUTBACK BOWL

17:49: THE CITRUS BOWL

24:18: THE FIESTA BOWL

31:50: THE ROSE BOWL

41:32: THE SUGAR BOWL

How much we love you: Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much!

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Fun fact! We recorded this right before the playoff semifinal disaster, so you can start to see things unraveling. Bowls covered on this episode include:

7:13 - THE MILITARY BOWL

22:18 - THE SUN BOWL

27:55 - THE REDBOX BOWL

35:19 - THE LIBERTY BOWL

44:00 - THE HOLIDAY BOWL

48:55 - THE GATOR BOWL

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Technically, this is our 40 for 40 for the Cotton and Orange Bowls, which are both semifinals in the Playoff. But it's really not that at all. Instead, it's a box of broken Christmas ornaments and mouse droppings. So rather than just give you that box, I'm going to explain why the ornaments are like that and how I don't think we can get rid of the mice. Hooray!

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Nope, this is also not the one that went super wrong. Though it does have an interlude where Spencer and Holly have to clean up a spill and Jason and Ryan are basically left talking to themselves, which we didn't edit out because why lie to you like that? Topics on this episode:

3:12 - THE MUSIC CITY BOWL

12:08 - THE CAMPING WORLD BOWL

26:37 - THE ALAMO BOWL

37:31 - THE PEACH BOWL

39:46 - THE BELK BOWL

47:11 - THE ARIZONA BOWL

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Please note: this is not the episode where everything goes terribly, terribly wrong. We'll get to that one, don't worry. This is just the normal amount of things going wrong, focused on the following bowls:

2:28 - THE FIRST RESPONDER BOWL

10:01 - THE QUICK LANE BOWL

15:17 - THE CHEEZ-IT BOWL

27:47 - THE INDEPENDENCE BOWL

32:32 - THE PINSTRIPE BOWL

43:21 - THE TEXAS BOWL

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Yup, still doing these. Nope, not particularly close to done yet. Eh, not really sure what we feel like having for dinner tonight. Maybe soup, but like a hearty soup? But not a creamy soup. Makes us all congested. Topics on this episode:

3:35 - THE BIRMINGHAM BOWL

19:45 - THE ARMED FORCES BOWL

29:27 - THE DOLLAR GENERAL BOWL

35:02 - THE HAWAII BOWL

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Our long trek through bowl season continues, though on this episode we move forward without the assistance of Jason Kirk (he's fine and you'll see him later, don't be so damn dramatic). On this episode, we talk about:

2:22 THE BOCA RATON BOWL

8:20 THE FRISCO BOWL

14:02 THE GASPARILLA BOWL

24:35 THE BAHAMAS BOWL

31:16 THE FAMOUS IDAHO POTATO BOWL

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It's the time of year when you, college football fan, crave deep, detailed, football-focused previews for the multitude of bowl games that are fast approaching. But we didn't do that last year, or the year before, and we're not doing it this year. This is 40 FOR 40, the series in which we give every bowl game as much time as we think it merits and talk about whatever even slightly bowl adjacent topics occur to us. It will always be this way and never improve. Games featured on this episode:

1:26 - THE NEW MEXICO BOWL

11:09 - THE CURE BOWL

17:59 - THE LAS VEGAS BOWL

29:15 - THE CAMELLIA BOWL

30:39 - THE NEW ORLEANS BOWL

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Not quite time for bowl previews yet (don't worry, those suckers are looming) so we took an episode to just review your BOLD BRASH HOLIDAY OPINIONS. Topics include:

3:54 - Which Fullcast hosts hate Christmas/Holly yells at those people

7:10 - Some discussion of Army-Navy because this is the only college football podcast after all

8:51 - HOLIDAY HOT TAKE 1: Drugs and sex are the best part of the season

11:44 - HOLIDAY HOT TAKE 2: The lead up to Christmas is better than Christmas itself

13:46 - HOLIDAY HOT TAKE 3: Egg nog is tasty/Elf is a good movie

17:10 - HOLIDAY HOT TAKE 4: Santa is a deadbeat dad to the world

20:50 - Spencer only recently learned the whole deal with how sunglasses work

25:36 - Holly & Jason’s favorite Christmas movie

28:06 - HOLIDAY HOT TAKE 5: Elf on the Shelf is a Cop

30:46 - Tree Talk! (not Stanford related)

32:35- HOLIDAY HOT TAKE 6: Hanukkah is better

35:49 - Garrett bought you a new car and ruined Christmas

39:16 - HOLIDAY HOT TAKE 7: Don’t take turns opening presents, just go feral

44:26 - HOLIDAY HOT TAKE 8: Cash is the best gift you can receive

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I'm gonna be straight with you: I (Ryan) am pretty sleepy this morning so I did not go through the podcast for timestamps of what we discussed. I do know that we hit every conference championship game in some form or another, and that we did not let Iowa State almost losing to Drake escape our watch, and that this episode is brought to you by our friends at LEGO.

But I still love you and want you to do great things and I will hopefully time stamp the next episode!

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Dr. Pepper killed Larry Culpepper, brought us one of TV’s greatest performances, and remains your only student debt savior. Also it’s time to talk about Dr. Pepper knockoffs. Other topics include!

6:42 - Spencer launches his doomed, stupid, unnecessary war against beloved actor Stanley Tucci

9:03 - Championship Week is not RIVALRY WEEK but it’s still maybe good?

14:30 - Memphis-UCF and our great idea for a BBQ restaurant where all your food is served inside a wrestling ring

20:31 - Holly wrongly assumes that UNC hiring Mack Brown means he won’t be calling games on TV anymore

26:38 - The Red River Respect/Recognition Rumble Ruckus

29:31 - How can we reach maximum chaos this weekend?

33:13 - Back on Stanley Tucci for some damn reason, and now Spencer drags Ludacris into it because Spencer is the worst

37:37 - Fine we’ll talk about the SEC Championship whatever

41:51 - Kliff Kingsbury’s not going to Bama leads to tales of Holgo History leads to pondering if Burger King served booze

48:41- Ryan put Marshall-Virginia Tech on the discussion list, and that’s fine

51:41 - We plead with the MWC to move their conference championship kickoff time

53:47 - Our plans for the Pac-12 Network (it’s not available to you) and how the SEC can get even cheaper

56:46 - Gus Malzahn should mail it in or cheat or leave or all three

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In a stunning first for the Shutdown Fullcast, we spend 21 STRAIGHT MINUTES at the top of the show talking about a football game: LSU-A&M, which went to 7 overtimes, made for a bunch of silly numbers, and, oh yeah, gave us some real ill-advised fighting at the end of it.

Other topics discussed:

--Nick Saban gets out of a helicopter, which is the only actual news

--A brief survey of the Washington Huskies’ recent dark years

--Why the Pac-12’s deep relaxing chill might give college talent better prospects as professional football players

--Pete Carroll’s ability to hypnotize the mothers of recruits with his sheer animal charisma

--The discomfort of referring to anyone as a “twelve” outside of the context of professional wrestling

--Mina discloses her experience playing The Undertaker in wrestling matches with her brother, and how she sells a Stunner

--Celebrations in the football and how a discussion of Korean bat-flipping gets us to the story where Mina does the spinning Homer dance on the floor in the name of doing her job as a journalist

--Proven: Jerry Rice is the best Twitter user on the planet

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We continue to test the limits and boundaries of this already poorly-constructed podcast by trying a new format this week: solving your mysteries. Mysteries like! - Why is Wisconsin consistently good? - Why is Cal consistently not given how much NFL talent they generate? - Who conspired to keep Auburn out of the 2004 title game? - What happens if Spencer leaves his two sons alone in a room for more than 10 minutes? - Who's preventing SEC schools from adopting the currency system of John Wick? - When does Will Muschamp reveal that he's got a good offense ok see this format already ran its course

Oh yeah, this is also the start of season 5. There's no reasoning here. I just got tired of counting.

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This whole episode isn't explicitly about Jon Gruden, except it sort of is, if you consider that: - We unnecessarily hate on Stephen A. Smith, who is not Jon Gruden - We ask why more coaches can't follow the Jon Gruden Guide to Eternal Wealth - We talk about goatees and who shouldn't have them; Jon Gruden would never have a goatee - We consider who's going to totally plummet next season and therefore be eligible for Grumors (Jon Gruden Rumors) - We talk about Road House; Jon Gruden is familiar with both roads AND houses.

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This whole episode isn't explicitly about Jon Gruden, except it sort of is, if you consider that: - We unnecessarily hate on Stephen A. Smith, who is not Jon Gruden - We ask why more coaches can't follow the Jon Gruden Guide to Eternal Wealth - We talk about goatees and who shouldn't have them; Jon Gruden would never have a goatee - We consider who's going to totally plummet next season and therefore be eligible for Grumors (Jon Gruden Rumors) - We talk about Road House; Jon Gruden is familiar with both roads AND houses.

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Instead of questions, we asked you to give us your BOLLLLLD STATEMENTS so that we might judge them and hoobuddy did you deliver. Amongst the opinions that we weighed: - Taco Bell > Chipotle - Texas would have beaten Alabama if Colt McCoy had played - Nebraska was right to fire Bo Pelini - The three of us could not defeat a wolf in combat - No school that hasn't won a title before will win one in the future - Atlanta will soon be a baseball town - Empire Strikes Back and Bill Murray and the Sega Dreamcast are all bad and dumb - Michael Dyer was down

Again, these are YOUR opinions, that you shared with us, on a public social media platform, simply because we asked. As a thanks for doing so, we are back to our usual meh-at-best audio quality we love youuuuuuuuu.

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We absolutely covered every news item from last week, so this week we're free to talk about less weighty topics, like food poisoning, or the scariest weapon someone can attack you with, or what you should do if you're an Ole Miss fan, or who on our staff is the sloppiest drunk. We also reveal our Emotional Top 10, a meaningless ranking which should not infuriate anyone but well let's not kid ourselves.

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Shutdown Fullcast, America's favorite political discussion, addresses Tommy Tuberville's political future, figures out which sitting politicians could most easily slide into coaching (Woo Bill Sooie), considers which woebegone CFB program Earth is, and rambles on about some other stuff, though not as long as we usually do because Spencer was busy lifting or something. Hey, thank you for listening, by the way! You're a peach. A confusing peach.

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Two of the Shutdown Fullcast hosts have shot a gun before (the one who hasn't is the one who looks like a Dutch pop singer) which gives us the authority to make broad, sweeping decisions about which states stay in America 2.0 and which states are out. There is also some general discussion of Senator Kid Rock, what the dumbest non-sports sports things are, and why Bill C. and Godfrey should meet us outside because YES WE WILL CONTINUE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE STATE OF FLORIDA FOOTBALL TASTE THESE RINGS YOU PUNKS.

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What if three employees of an Internet-only media outlet could not consistently use the Internet well enough to record a podcast? What if one of those employees had been covering that fact up by carefully editing out all the times where someone disconnects or everything just goes to shit? What if he stopped doing that on this episode? WELCOME! TO THE UNEDITED SHUTDOWN FULLCAST!

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Per our guest Bud Elliott, National Signing Day is a thing that has happened and meant things to teams. Teams like Ole Miss, and Stanford, and Oklahoma, and The Wall of Hastily Stacked Human Hearts in Butch Jones's Basement. But we're here to talk about more than just who signed a good class and who didn't. We're here to talk about yard work. We're here to talk about improving your commitment announcement ceremony. And we're even here to talk about how Todd Graham -- yeah, that Todd Graham, the one you're thinking of -- could be the key to saving mankind from self-destruction.

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Other than Jim Harbaugh Things, which are always happening because they can't not happen, the college football world is pretty quiet for the time being. Fortunately, there's the Super Bowl! Which we don't really talk about that much, other than to spread a few lies about Boston. There are also questions about regional food because that's the main thing this podcast is about. Again, we're not sure why you listen to it in the first place. Or why we make it.

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The beginning of the offseason means it's time for promises you won't keep to yourself. One of those might be getting in better shape. Don't do what Oregon did! Listen to us instead and go get a job at Publix! Jason survives a mid-episode attack from the Luftstreitkräfte, and Spencer tells you how to be a more spiteful father. We also have updates on Ryan's very foolish quest to become all things Bloomin' Onion.

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The Clemson-Alabama rematch was so entertaining and interesting that this might be our least joke-filled episode...ever? We got too caught up admiring Deshaun Watson, and Clemson's receivers, and how their defense played spectacularly for so long that the offensive line could pick itself off the mat when they needed to. We even have lots of positive things to say about Alabama! It's all very confusing and probably a sign that we need to sleep way more.

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One game remains in this college football season, so, appropriately, we spend a bunch of time on this episode talking about fried chicken restaurants. Theoretically there is also discussion of: - Ohio State's very poor showing/the Clemson Credit Card - New coaches that may be headed for rough first years - Press box fighting rankings - Teams that are likely to be hyperinflated by bowl success - Notre Dame OH YEAH WE FOUND A WAY SUCKERS - My one and only goal for 2017: to become the Bloomin Onion Mascot.

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Number 40 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Sugar Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! We are perfectly aware that this game is taking place in 2017 and not 2016 but we are too lazy to change our formatting for these episodes so too bad for you.

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Number 39 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Rose Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! Actually, this one is confusingly positive, about the bowl venue and the players involved and shoot even the coaches. 2016 has been a very trying year.

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Number 37 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Outback Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! Looking at the run time of this episode, you can probably guess whether we do or not!

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Number 38 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Cotton Bowl or the teams playinROW THE BOAT ROW THE BOAT ROW THE BOAT ROW THE BOAT ROW THE BOAT ROW THE BOAT ROW THE BOAT ROW THE BOAT

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Number 35 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Peach Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! I mean, it's a playoff game, so we're probably going to talk about the teams and the game. But this is a pretty bad and pointless podcast, so there's a chance we won't.

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Number 36 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Fiesta Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! This one has some actual football discussion, which, I'm sorry, I know that's not why you're here and we'll try to do better.

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Number 33 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Citrus Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! Wait, no, this is a bowl that has Coach O and Lamar Jackson in it. Of course we're talking about the teams. (And Todd Grantham, Emotional Defensive Coordinator.)

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Number 34 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the TaxSlayer Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! Kentucky and Georgia Tech have explore the whole football spectrum this year, from "beat Louisville and Virginia Tech" to "lost to Southern Miss and barely beat Duke." So if you know what's going to happen in this game, you are a liar or a time traveler. If you're a time traveler, why are you listening to this podcast? (That's true of non time travelers as well, to be fair.)

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Number 31 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Arizona Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! This bowl game barely exists. The same is true of this podcast.

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Number 32 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Orange Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! If you have evidence of a Michigan fan and a Florida State fan successfully conversing for more than six minutes straight without the use of a Wisconsin fan as interpreter, please send it our way.

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Number 28 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Liberty Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! One person on this episode is just brutal towards Georgia. Surprisingly, that person is neither Spencer nor Ryan.

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Number 29 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Sun Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! In truth, we spend almost no time talking about the teams in this game. We spend a lot of time talking about the game itself and its reign as America's Most Hungover Bowl.

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Number 25 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Birmingham Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! This episode is being released mere hours before kickoff so yes, it absolutely counts and we will not offer you a refund.

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Number 26 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Belk Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! Tread lightly if you are easily offended by people slandering Beamerball or the thought of Bret Bielema reproducing.

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Number 30 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Music City Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! Tennessee has already lost this game by way of chicken failure. Also, if you're looking to sell property in Nashville, please email Spencer.

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Number 27 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Alamo Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! TCU is not in this game, but that does not stop us from going into disturbing details on Gary Patterson at Taco Bell, to the point that Holly storms off at one point.

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Numbers 21-24 of 40 bowl previews, and hey funny story! A technical error during recording meant we were left with mere scraps of these four individual episodes, so we cobbled them together into one terrible, useless, unlistenable track. You're welcome? Those responsible have not been sacked. BONUS: You get to find out that Spencer was excited when Florida hired Will Muschamp.

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Number 17 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Heart of Dallas Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! As is Fullcast custom, the best discussion took place after we finished recording, when Spencer found out that Zaxby's commercials have featured stars like Penny Marshall, Evander Holyfield, Reginald VelJohnson, and Paul Sorvino. Sorry about that!

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Number 20 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Cactus Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! OH MY GOD HOW ARE WE ONLY HALFWAY THROUGH THIS FOOL'S ERRAND AND WHY DO WE KEEP MAKING THE SAME MISTAKES EVERY YEAR IT'S SO DEPRESSING.

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Number 18 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Military Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! Temple enters this game without their head coach while Wake Forest lacks something far more important: internal trust. I'm writing my name on my groceries from now on, Wake Forest, and I'm looking for my own place once I save up the money!

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Number 19 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Holiday Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! Also, please do not sue us, Lindsey Buckingham. We have no money, as you can tell by the fact that we keep doing these instead of something that might actually improve our lives.

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Number 16 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Independence Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! We will, however, use this episode to remind you that the Canadian Football League once put a team in Shreveport, which might help you understand why the CFL will never overtake the NFL.

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Number 14 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the St. Pete Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! Kind of weird that an orange juice company put its name on a stadium with field known for being 1. artificial and 2. shitty but who are we to judge?

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Number 13 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Hawaii Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! Did you know the cost of living in Honolulu is lower than that in New York City! You won't learn that in the podcast, but you learned about it here, which is almost as good!

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Number 15 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Quick Lane Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! Dudes. #Dudes

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Number 10 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Bahamas Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! This is one of those episodes that's short because we're sick of 1. talking to each other and 2. life.

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Number 12 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Dollar General Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! This is the final episode we recorded with three of us using a legitimate studio setup so when the episodes after this sound like ass, that's why, don't at me.

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Number 7 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Boca Raton Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! Please Google Image Search "Nick Holt" before listening to this episode.

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Number 11 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Armed Forces Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! DID YOU KNOW: Two years ago, this game featured Houston and Pitt, which legally makes Pitt our shadow military of last resort. The Constitution is clear on this.

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Number 9 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! Paul Petrino will fight you if you listen to this podcast, or if you do not. He's outside your house right now, kicking your car.

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Number 6 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Miami Beach Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! Mostly we're distracted by the fact that Spencer lost his luggage by just leaving it in overhead storage. He is worse at flying than you are at anything.

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Number 8 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Poinsettia Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! Each of these episodes costs five dollars and we work on the honor system; we assume the $35 for the previous seven episodes is already in the mail thank youuuuuuuu.

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Number 4 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Cure Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! Ryan can't even get the basic facts of this game right so don't expect much, please!

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Number 4 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the New Orleans Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! Ryan's still getting basic facts wrong and they should fire him already!

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Number 2 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Las Vegas Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! Sorry, we're not good at this!

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Number 1 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the New Mexico Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! That's the risk you take when you decide to listen!

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Number 3 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Camellia Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! Caveat emptor is the only rule for this podcast.

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The Playoff has been settled upon and it's fine. It's all fine. We mostly ignore that in favor of picking our own Playoff Of Teams You Don't Want To Face, including USC, LSU, Florida State, and, yes, Pitt. We also: - Praise Virginia Tech, one of 2016's most confusing and wonderful teams - Acknowledge the one Playoff truth: it's all a long prank at the Big 12's expense - Handing out the People's Heisman - Prepare for Dana Holgorsen, Wise Elder of College Football - Try to guess at Breaking Bret Bielema news - Talk way too much about Florida - Including a brief Outback Bowl discussion EVEN THOUGH WE'RE ABOUT TO DO A TON OF BOWL PREVIEW EPISODES UGH STUPID SPENCER

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Football season's almost done and you're still listening to this terrible podcast, which says something about mankind's collective inability to change for the better. But since you're here, we: - Imagined the Playoff that has 3 Big 10 teams but Bama still winning - Let Spencer go way, way out on a Pac 12 limb that will almost certainly collapse - Figured out the fan base happiest to be done with 2016 - Identified the best part of the SEC Championship Game - Picked the worst coach Florida realistically hires if McElwain leaves for Oregon - Found out from Jason in real time that the Oregon job was open, making that McElwain replacement discussion so so so real

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Yes, we talk about the Ohio State-Michigan game, but it takes longer to get there than it should because we podcast like your grandmother drives: far too slowly and dangerous to others at night. Other topics!

A coach-by-coach analysis of which SEC coaches are crap
Pitt-Syracuse broke math
Nodding approvals of Arizona, Iowa, and NC State
The scenario in which Brian Kelly gets carried off the field by his players
How tragically bad our preseason predictions were
Oregon, the hell are you doing?

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This episode has a little bit of Thanksgiving: - Analyzing how drunk you can get in front of family - Ham thoughts - A plea to eat whatever you want A little bit of football: - Rivalry week, AKA Ruin Someone Else's Season Without Really Improving Your Own - How A&M can outfox Texas - Don't bet money on an Arizona game - Or an Arizona State game And a little bit of personal failures: - Ryan and Spencer are bad at dating - Spencer is also capable of immense meanness - Jason is the only good person here

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Though apparently you can lose to Iowa State, if you have really really really good hair. You can also lose to Boston College, but you have to be UConn, which, no, don't do that. You CAN'T lose to Central Michigan if you're Oklahoma State. They ran the numbers and it's mathematically impossible; please correct your flawed record book. Other topics! - Rutgers, and Paul Wulff proves it could be so much worse - Standing outside in the cold to prove you're tough - Colorado won't make the Playoff but dang that'd be awesome - An exploration of the madness that is the Apple Cup - Vanderbilt tuned up Ole Miss, in case you missed it - Tom Herman's airport habits - Notre Dame is 4-7, just FYI

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Shutdown Fullcast 4.53 - Week 12 Preview / Jimmy Sexton's $5000 Ice Cream by Channel 6

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Fair warning: if you listen to this episode, you're going to hear Spencer scream IOWAAAAAAAA for a longer time than seems necessary. You will also hear - A tribute to Hawkeye punter Ron Coluzzi and Tales of Kinnick Intoxication - Actual positive discussion of Pitt, no fooling - Actual positive discussion of USC, what is wrong with us - Checking in on Boston College, that's more like it - Conference championship nightmare scenarios imagined - Auburn's um, interesting quarterback situation - Congratulating Wake Forest on their big hockey win

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The ass-ingest week of the college football season is here, and we are here to do two things: kick said ass, and chew bubble gum. And we are all out of bubble gum. Because we ate it. Because bubble gum is delicious, and something that tastes that good shouldn't be something you aren't supposed to eat.

Topics of interest for week eleven:

--We're going to talk about football, because that's our job! Nothing else. At least, not much of anything else before we go about our business.

--It's a less-than-luminous week on the slate, but USC/Washington is happening. Do you call all USC quarterbacks "Matt" by default? Spencer does, and it makes so much sense when you start remembering that everyone who has ever played QB for the Trojans is actually a secret Matt.

--How Washington coach Chris Petersen's greatest asset as a coach is calling an offensive game like a complete dick. (He's fine, personally! But calling plays like he does? Total dick, which is what you want when you

--Hey listen Will Muschamp has had success with a young QB before, it's just not fun to remember when you're yelling about "LOL MUSCHAMP." Oh, and a reminder that there is the real possibility that a kid who could be playing his senior season in high school might have to face Alabama in the SEC Championship Game! That should probably be illegal!

--Arkansas also plays LSU in the week's only other matchup of ranked teams. One is ranked #24 and one is ranked #25 but that still technically means ranked in the weakest possible definition of ranked.

--A proposal for Oregon to hire Hugh Freeze, the man least personally compatible with living in Eugene, Oregon and working for Phil Knight

--SOMETHING'S GOT TO GIVE BECAUSE O-5 IN BIG TEN PLAY MICHIGAN STATE PLAYS 0-5 RUTGERS LET'S KICK THIS SHIT OFF AT NINE A.M. AND SEE HOW SOON WE CAN GET IT OVER WITH

--Notre Dame is playing Army in San Antonio, for some reason?

--Let Jason do his best Dana Holgorsen impression, which he describes as "drunk Shawn Michaels." A meal eaten at 1 a.m. still counts as breakfast.

--Washington/Cal is happening again so be prepared for seven hours of something sort of resembling football that will end in tears

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Ohio State-Nebraska! Vandy-Auburn! Iowa-Penn State! TCU-Baylor! These are but a few of the games that we managed to not discuss this week, in part because Spencer's internet connection died before we could. (The other part: we're biased and hate your team.) What did we talk about instead? - How Alabama is sabotaging its own championship hopes - When we decided LSU was dead - Designing a fitting trophy for Michigan State-Rutgers - Why the Pac-12 gives Spencer maximum entertainment - Ryan's the one mad at Florida now apparently - Special guest Brian Floyd breaks down Arizona - The holiest path ahead for Hugh Freeze

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Jason's outside again, which, yeah, means the sound's going to be a total disaster. Oh, and we talked about some football stuff, like: - What the Big 12 is for, if anything - The bowl prediction that pits Charlie Strong against Georgia - How to fix GameDay with more guns - Jim Harbaugh goes to a baseball game - Spencer's new nickname, Captain Beef - Which QBs we've seen absorb the most physical punishment - Notre Dame is playing Navy - In Jacksonville - Before noon - Why you shouldn't knock on Alabama's door on Halloween - Finding Ed Orgeron a home, possibly in the Marvel universe

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West Virginia and Boise and Baylor and Nebraska were all undefeated. They aren't now, which, well, sorry y'all. This episode has a good five minutes of I don't really know what at the beginning, followed by this:

A conference referee taxonomy
Pointing out that Tennessee lost to a child quarterback born after the last Volunteer national title
Admiring Notre Dame's persistence in trying to lose yet again
Explaining how PJ Fleck will beat USC three times in 2017
The origins of the universe as they relate to Georgia football
Doing Louisville a solid by saying very little about how they almost lost to UVA
Doing Ohio State a MAJOR solid by not even talking about the Northwestern game
A celebration of Wyoming winning by safety
DUDES DUDES DUDES DUDES DUDES DUDES

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Week 9's games: pretty okay! There's an interesting Virginia Tech-Pitt clash on Thursday, a number of noon games you can watch instead of Kentucky-Mizzou on Saturday, a Baylor-Texas matchup that surely won't turn into a bunch of yelling and accusation hurling, one of Washington's last regular season chances to do something people will pay attention to, a Wisconsin-Nebraska game that one team will leave still undefeated, and Clemson-Florida State.

Some of these games we talk about with analysis and thought! Many of them we do not and it's the same old bullshit and dumb jokes! One nice-ish thing is said about Notre Dame! Sort of! Papa John is discussed aaaaaagain! And we check in on Jason's bet with Steven Godfrey on whether or not Kansas can win 3 games. (Spoiler: maybe, but you'll need to wait a little.)

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Penn State knocked off #2 Ohio State with a blocked field goal returned for a touchdown, so naturally we take 10 minutes to get to that game and talk about LSU-Ole Miss first because we're terrible at identifying meaningfulness. Other points of digression include: - Whether Todd Graham has what it takes to use "chickenshit" in conversation - How to defeat Jim Harbaugh by preying on his crippling addiction to competition - Bill Snyder is not a nice person, don't fall for his kind grandpa thing - Kirk Ferentz does the job you paid him to do - Our government mandated statement of fealty to Alabama - A very rude trip through the Arkansas-LSU box score

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FULLCAST BACK. This time without Ryan, who we subbed out for Jane Coaston, MTV News writer, Michigan fan, and Hammering Panda evangelist. It’s like all the other podcasts where we bring someone else in: better by subtraction of one of our three inept selves, and then improved further by having an actual competent person on the show.

TOPICS:

The Hammering Panda and Man Berg, aka the Big Ten’s two best-named players taking the same field for Illinois/Michigan. This is the only reason to even think about this game.

Discussion of the biggest game of the week...EASTERN MICHIGAN AT WESTERN MICHIGAN

Fine, fine, we talk about the various fictions one has to write in order to get to a competitive and real Texas A&M/Alabama game. Remember how it’s in Tuscaloosa? That’s neat!

Jason points out that the SEC West is set on random this year. See: Gus Malzahn, tough-minded, defense-first coach.

Oregon/Cal exists? Why?

What NC State is (a kind of demon raccoon that thrives in trash fires) and why they could theoretically be a problem in a noon game with Louisville

The IT JUST MEANS MORE game of the week is MTSU/Mizzou, which Mizzou could totalllllllllllly lose

Jason leaves like Mack Brown in the middle of the broadcast, meaning Jane and Spencer take advantage of the opportunity to yell about Colorado, which SEC coach is secretly a democrat, and why Chick-Fil-A needs to stop this stupid shit where they insist no one believed in chicken for breakfast

WE ALWAYS BELIEVED IN CHICKEN FOR BREAKFAST

Oh, and in those reader questions, we talk about how Baylor is the most hated team by media this season because almost no one in college football media has the faintest clue how to start talking about what happened at Baylor. That’s bad! As in really bad, as in almost as bad as conducting a report/review that you just summarized in a separate summary of public findings without naming individuals at all.

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Because we cannot agree on whether Week 7 was good or bad, we broke it up into its constituent parts.

GOOD: - Ohio State and Wisconsin, even though only one of them could win - ACC Lead Detective Mitch Trubisky - A bear eating hot dogs at a casual yet alarming rate (there's a connection here, don't worry) - Papa John being as Papa John as possible - Dino Babers and the Syracuse offense

BAD: - Referees (see Tulsa v. Houston; In re Luke Falk Pass Attempt) - Spencer's attitude towards Florida - Kliff Kingsbury and the Texas Tech offense - Attempting to out-motivate P.J. Fleck - Georgia running the ball with a 5'8 wide receiver on 4th and 1 - Against Vanderbilt - Georgia lost to Vanderbilt

NEITHER GOOD NOR BAD BUT MERELY FACT: - A lot of meanness concerning Notre Dame - Historic Purdue accomplishments - Arkansas 34, Ole Miss 30, a game we barely mentioned but please don't take it to mean anything, sometimes we just get distracted and stupid

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--Some exciting pre-show banter definitely not left unintentionally in the audio

--Reminder that Ole Miss/Arkansas is on this week, and unless it involves converting a 4th and 25 on a backwards pass it probably can't top last year

--A definitive discussion of who gets purpler: Alex Jones or Brian Kelly?

--Also a diversion into the oldest software in use to discuss college football on the internet, aka ND NATION, and a look at just how bad the rest of the season could be for Notre Dame. Put on Stanford/Notre Dame on the screen on your fridge! Let it simmer there for a while, like a fine reduction.

--This is not a short conversation, we mock Notre Dame for at least ten minutes

--MICHIGAN WE KNOW YOU'RE SMART, YOU TELL YOURSELVES AND US THAT ALL THE TIME

--

--Who in the top ten is secretly assy, and about to display said assedness in the second half of the season? (Baaaaaadgers)

--More desperate thrashing to create an argument against Alabama winning their game against Tennessee this week

--Reader Kenny probably totally hates Ryan, but we let him stay at the party anyway and answer his question about Baylor probably hiring Sonny Dykes

--This leads to noticing the Big 12 is pretty much loaded with gun-toting mascots, or those who need them immediately

--Why Ohio State will play just fine this weekend against Wisconsin and still get dinged for it

--Teams that don't have live mascots who need live mascots, like the Indiana Hoosiers, who just need a regular guy from Indiana to sit on the sidelines in a sweatshirt and cheap jeans

--West Virginia's only played four games? Cool, on that throwback schedule

--WAKE FOREST PLAYING FSU WITH A BETTER ACC RECORD ON THE TENTH ANNIVERSARY OF 30-0 IN TALLY ALL IN LET'S GO DO IT FOR GHOST ARNOLD PALMER

--Jim Harbaugh drinking milk, it's just gross, man

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Week six is done, and so is Rutgers football after losing 78-0 to Michigan.

Topics!

--The Notre Dame/NC State game, a.k.a. THE BEST 10-3 GAME EVER and MORE PROOF YOU SHOULD JUST PUNT AND HOPE YOUR OPPONENT DOES SOMETHING STUPID

--"Will Notre Dame make a bowl game?", a question we actually have to ask at this point

--Notre Dame could miss a bowl game this year

--How many points can we make about Notre Dame being horrible and Brian Kelly being a wretched man, well, how many points ya got

--A SALUTE TO RUTGERS SURVIVING AN EPIC DEFEAT SO BAD IT BECAME NEAR-NOBLE

--A discussion of what did and didn't make sense in Tennessee/Texas A&M. Tennessee had seven turnovers and almost won! Guess which category this falls into here!

--A deep analysis of how the LSU/Florida game played out

--The Count of Monte Cristo Game, which you may also call the Washington/Oregon game, or also call the most thorough debacling of a rival this year (unless you call Rutgers/Michigan a rivalry) (<---ONE SHOULD NOT)

--Texas has given up more points than Kansas, and other terrifying statistics Ryan wants to scar your brain with

--An argument for Floyd of Rosedale to be a real pig again

--Renaming Miami's stadium retroactively by possible sponsor

--Stanford. Yiiiiiiiikes, Stanford

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THE FULLCAST RIDES FOR WEEK FIVE, which hits status as “a pretty good week” because it contains both “college football” and “passably good college football.” We tried to be quick about it, which went about as well as that usually does.

TOPICS:

--Spencer gets very excited about the best noon slate of the year, while Ryan and Jason remind him that it is still a noon slate

--Why Tennessee suddenly can’t lose football games, aka “the Butch Jones cashes in a decade of collected football karma skymiles all at once” stratagem

--Ryan finds a matchup so repellent even he cannot hate-watch it (good god, y’all)

--Did you know Maryland is undefeated, and could very realistically beat Penn State this weekend? That won’t be awkward at all for anyone, especially you, person who just realized Maryland is undefeated.

--Miami and FSU might be playing in a hurricane, which would be cool

--Georgia and South Carolina might be playing in a hurricane, which really wouldn’t be any different since South Carolina always looks like they’re playing in a stiff wind and driving rain even in clear skies and bright sunshine

--The Red River Rivalry is happening this weekend! Abandon hope, wake up early, and just see how nothing you anticipated happening happens again for the 111th time in a row

--Ryan leaves the podcast early, a la Mack Brown in the middle of the Toledo/BYU game

--Jason and Spencer answer reader questions as fast as they can, including the all-important question of what game is better for freakish weather than the 2000 Independence Bowl where it snowed in Shreveport? (A: nothing, ever)

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Florida State now has the same conference record as Boston College. This is just a fact we're offering you, and not in any way a commentary on the quality of the 2016 Seminoles. Other facts we discuss this week include: - Tennessee's smart decision to spend all its bad luck in 2015 so this year can be nothing but amazing comebacks - Washington making Stanford look Walt Harrisian - Identifying the secret, true El Assico - We're seriously asking if Oregon is going to make a bowl game, what the hell has happened to you Oregon - Mike Gundy's not going to T. Boone's graduation party and we heard they're not even friends on Facebook anymore - Spencer kind of sort of propositions Mack Brown for group sex - I know, again - Cal's defense won a game, Colorado is ranked, USC embarrassed someone else, and none of us know a single thing about UCLA-Arizona

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Okay, so we recorded the preview episode for week five during a thunderstorm and that went about as well as it could during a thunderstorm. That is, it went badly, even by the already low audio standards of the Fullcast.

The topics. covered through difficult conditions because we are GRITTY:

--Tennessee/Georgia playing a game that if the SEC East made sense would end with a decisive Tennessee victory, meaning it probably won't

--How you kind of have to watch every game Houston plays even though they're playing overmatched teams like UConn, because they somehow managed to lose to UConn last year, and you wouldn't want to miss that even though they're probably still going to pummel them in revenge for that? Because they're a national power with an iffy schedule?

--A lengthy discussion of offensive lines, including the absurd lengths the Stanford offensive lines will go to make you dig a hole to get lower then they are

--We discuss how far Wake Forest has to go into an undefeated season before we start to realize this as a real thing and not some error of math and fate

--Memphis/Ole Miss! A.k.a. THERE'S GONE BE A FIIIIIIIGHT

--A reflection on the raw thrill of seeing Lamar Jackson playing real football again, and how Dabo will put 50 points on Louisville if he can to redeem Bobby Petrino's soul

--Huh, what game was USC playing when they fired Lane Kiffin, hey look, that was Arizona State, who's USC playing with a 1-3 record this week, oh hey that's undefeated Arizona State, that's weird and not at all ironic--

--A plea for someone to Periscope the Hawaii game for us, and the world at large

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This week Jason and I are joined by new SB Nation recruit Richard Johnson for what is mostly an hour plus of commiseration over the following:

--The immense hole in our hearts the departure of Les Miles has left, and who can attempt to fill it but fail

--Who will end up taking the LSU job, and why they won't be as cool as Les Miles, even though they might be a better coach and win more games and stuff, but won't have interesting press conferences or make GIFs of himself Dikembe-blocking his daughter's jump-shot

--WHY DID YOU FIRE LES MILES okay we know, we know, but we're still going to yell about it because our hearts hurt

--Richard and I mumble about Florida being trash for a minute

--Wisconsin seems mean, that's something we talk about for a second or two

--The only really joyous discussion in this whole podcast comes around the 52 minute mark when we discuss Chad Kelly's bliss at getting the opportunity to throw the ball downfield with zero regard for what's waiting for it when it lands.

--Oh look, Mark Richt's ranked ahead of Georgia

--Look, we're just going to admit that we've all watched Washington at least twice now and can't figure out why people keep ranking them

--WAIT IS ARIZONA STATE GOOD, THIS IS NOW A SITUATION AND WE HAVE TO START TALKING ABOUT IT

--A salute to Jabrill Peppers of Michigan to make a business decision and not get trucked by Penn State's giant kicker

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Did we need to drop a 15 minute express SPITECAST for Florida/Tennessee? No, but if we told you we got Holly Anderson for it? THEN IT BECAME ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. Holly and Spencer talk about the essentials of the rivalry, which is now basically about fear and a mutual hatred of what this has turned us into after 15 years of enforced mutual hatred. WE ARE MONSTERS. BORED, HATEFUL MONSTERS.

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The theme for week four -- which we decided after an arduous twenty seconds of thought --- is that there is nothing but pain in every direction, and that every team playing this weekend can only lose. There are no victories to be had, and only losses of varying degree.

Topics explaining this bold thesis!

--Oregon playing Colorado, a team they can't beat by enough point to feel good about after a shaky loss to Nebraska

--The entire SEC West playing games where someone will lose badly and edge closer to total disaster, and another team will kick the aforementioned team into a canyon

--Amazing Gus Malzahn facts that should horrify even a non-Auburn fan!

--A vicious hypothetical spin around the SEC coaching carousel that ends with Hugh Freeze at Auburn! We did it, and it didn't even take the introduction of natural disasters or anything like that into the storyline

--BYU and West Virginia are playing a football game at FedEx Field. Why? Whyyyyyyy?

--A real inquiry into whether Vanderbilt needs to have a football coach or not

--USC has already replaced its quarterback, which is a great thing going into a game against Utah on the road. We hope Max Browne transfers, and in the meantime enjoys his stay at USC as irresponsibly as possible.

--Why Florida is the Atlanta airport of college quarterbacks

--A despondent preview of the Florida/Tennessee game, so: the usual

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Shutdown Fullcast 4.36: Death By A Thousand Slices by Channel 6

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Week three is full of extremely random but extremely good games, so most of this podcast is actually taken up by football talk. Like, at least 51% of the podcast, a new record for the Shutdown Fullcast.

TOPICS:

--A warm-up on light regional accents, including the unbelievable Pittsburgh accent and a quick review of how delightfully ironic it is when people from Wisconsin call you a hick

--We swear we'll tell you the one thing Bama needs to do to beat Ole Miss, but first we talk about Houston going on the road to play Cincy. Delicious platelet-rich plasma shots for everyone.

--Miami/App State, per ESPN's ticket index, is the second most expensive ticket in the nation right now. KIDD BREWER STADIUM, HOME OF ARISTOCRATS AND TYCOONS.

--All three of us foolishly talking ourselves into Louisville beating Florida State

--At least ten minutes of conversation about Papa John, aka John Schnatter, aka Big Daddy Garlic Bowls, aka The Worst Commercial Actor and Brand Presence Ever

--Oklahoma hosting Ohio State, or how that really shouldn't be a close game if we're all being honest about Oklahoma at this point versus the monster Ohio State should, in theory, have. (In theory.)

--Anxiety Week in the SEC West! Someone's getting fired and everything is bad. Ooh, and Georgia plays Mizzou, a game no one should watch, at all.

--Pitt plays at Okie State, for some reason?

--Finally, we reveal the secret to Alabama beating Ole Miss

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Week Two's review is, like the week itself, far more interesting than advertised, even if it did drive Verne Lundquist to openly ask for distraction during the death throes of the Kentucky/Florida game. (Death throes = anything past the first quarter.)

TOPICS:

--How Jason just skipped this whole weekend and almost cried when Andre 3000 came out for "Black Ice" at the Dungeon Family reunion show

--Maybe we discuss Kentucky football too long, but also come up with a fascinating solution to Kentucky's problems with an impending showdown with Alabama? (Don't go, and pass the savings on to your fans!)

--The thousand ways Louisville quarterback Lamar Jackson is not real right now

--Ryan finds the saddest scene from Illinois State/Northwestern, which is quite an accomplishment

--A suggestion for new rivals for Penn State since Pitt is unfit to be their rival despite losing to the Panthers 42-39 this weekend

--A review of the hilarity of Arkansas football and the brutal and irritating ways they found to antagonize TCU

--OH WE GET TO TALK ABOUT GEORGIA ALMOST LOSING TO NICHOLLS AND HOW NICK CHUBB DIDN'T HAVE 100 YARDS AGAINST NICHOLLS

--A detour into the disastrous ending of Washington State/Boise State where no one wanted to win the game

--A review of the Navy/UConn game, where UConn definitely did not want to win the game, and threw 15 seconds into the trash because time is free, and points are something you can pull out of your pocket after the game and apply retroactively

--How Tennessee scored 45 points and still looked worrisomely bad on offense against Virginia Tech, aka how we really don't want to see Josh Dobbs get hurt this season

--Central Michigan shouldn't have won, and did, and if it's Monday we just kicked you in the balls again, Oklahoma State fan

--Nick Saban, furious after a 38-10 win where Western Kentucky's QB politely decided to "leave the game"

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--Week two is so bad Spencer stumbles over the intro before the show even starts

--Oh, we get to discuss Texas/ND and Ole Miss/FSU! Which were both pleasing to the hater in different and yet still equally satisfying parts

--A review of Iowa v. Iowa State, aka ¡El Assico!, the game some Iowa fans get mad at us for even noticing. "It's like you're pooping in the woods and someone looks." ---Jason Kirk, football genius, giving us the perfect analogy for this.

--A discussion of relevant airplane drinking

--Okay we're done discussing Iowa

--NOPE. Ryan goes off on Iowa extending Kirk Ferentz to a contract that none of us understand, but that Ryan REALLY doesn't understand.

--Okay Ryan goes on for a while longer about this, and we point out other coaches who did what Ferentz did and got fired. Hi, Mark Richt!

--A lengthy discussion of how having a child will not make Ryan a better, more mature person, and also that one time Spencer yelled at a pair of FSU fans in front of his children. Also calling Florida State fans "headcrab-ass people", which is to be expected here.

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Remember that thing where SEC teams were going to start playing real teams to start the season, and not cupcake games against the overmatched dregs of FCS? THAT MAY HAVE BEEN A MISTAKE.

Ryan, Jason, and Spencer review the first weekend of the season up until Sunday, which we do not cover because we recorded this early on Sunday, when Notre Dame lost to Texas. It would have been fun to talk about Notre Dame losing painfully in OT to a Texas team it beat by thirty points and more last year, but we did not have time to discuss how Notre Dame could not stop the offense of a team that last year lost a howler to Iowa State. Again, we did not discuss this hilarious failure by Notre Dame, a team whose disappearance into a crater or timefold or other deep hole opening into another dimension would diminish the overall value of college football and society at large by zero percent.

We also did not discuss how ugly-ass the ugly-ass Under Armour shirts Notre Dame's staff had to wear on the sidelines. Static-ass ugly-ass 1992-lookin-ass shirts.

So since we did not discuss that, we talk about the following instead:

--How the SEC faceplanted so very badly on opening weekend

--Why the team with the kicker with the longer hair will always win a game, i.e. why Mississippi State lost at home to South Alabama

--A special breakout on whatever Kentucky did, which was bad even by the deplorable and intense standards of Kentucky-level failure

--We don't even discuss Alabama because this is a football podcast not an avalanche report

--How FCS teams beating FBS teams is a bad thing for your FBS team as long as your team isn't Washington State, which now will reel off nine straight wins and go to the Rose Bowl because this is a new tradition they have and you can't mess with tradition

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WEEK ONE IS HERE. The internet's only college football podcast starts off the 2016 college football season with:

--a super important conversation about people Spencer does not look like, because...football?

--how we love Cal for not mattering, ever

--why we decide to begin the greatest sport's season every year with South Carolina football, a brand sure to drive horrified new viewers away in droves

--how Jason once pulled a D in a British Lit class despite going to the wrong classroom and class the entire semester, go Kennesaw State Owls

--which ranked teams face upsets in week one, even though we don't actually know who's good or not, and thus don't really have too many upsets? (SEE: OLE MISS VS. FLORIDA STATE, or any other ranked v. ranked matchup)

--Ryan singing "NORTH CAROLINA, BEATING GEORGIA" jauntily

--Who's going to lose to an FCS team in their opening week besides Iowa State, who's totally losing to UNI because UNI specializes in this thing

--More excited discussion about Auburn QB "White, Sean" and how sneaky fast he is

--The introduction of 2016's hottest college football scoreboard cam gimmick: FIGHT CAM. We just send six cartoonishly costumed prospectors into a sparsely populated part of the stadium to stage-fight one lucky fan selected at random. The whole stadium gets to watch! It'll be delightful.

--Texas plays Notre Dame, who they should want to beat very badly after last year's 35 point loss to the Irish. It's good to want things, even if they probably won't happen.

--A final conversation about Ole Miss vs. FSU, the game where we see if Chad Kelly can outdo his predecessor Bo Wallace in throwing perfectly matching sets of TDs and INTs.

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WEEK ONE IS HERE. The internet's only college football podcast starts off the 2016 college football season with:

--a super important conversation about people Spencer does not look like, because...football?

--how we love Cal for not mattering, ever

--why we decide to begin the greatest sport's season every year with South Carolina football, a brand sure to drive horrified new viewers away in droves

--how Jason once pulled a D in a British Lit class despite going to the wrong classroom and class the entire semester, go Kennesaw State Owls

--which ranked teams face upsets in week one, even though we don't actually know who's good or not, and thus don't really have too many upsets? (SEE: OLE MISS VS. FLORIDA STATE, or any other ranked v. ranked matchup)

--Ryan singing "NORTH CAROLINA, BEATING GEORGIA" jauntily

--Who's going to lose to an FCS team in their opening week besides Iowa State, who's totally losing to UNI because UNI specializes in this thing

--More excited discussion about Auburn QB "White, Sean" and how sneaky fast he is

--The introduction of 2016's hottest college football scoreboard cam gimmick: FIGHT CAM. We just send six cartoonishly costumed prospectors into a sparsely populated part of the stadium to stage-fight one lucky fan selected at random. The whole stadium gets to watch! It'll be delightful.

--Texas plays Notre Dame, who they should want to beat very badly after last year's 35 point loss to the Irish. It's good to want things, even if they probably won't happen.

--A final conversation about Ole Miss vs. FSU, the game where we see if Chad Kelly can outdo his predecessor Bo Wallace in throwing perfectly matching sets of TDs and INTs.

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Two former SEC linemen join Jason and Ryan while Spencer is lost in the mountains. They talk about:

fried chicken chains and the unspeakable world of on-campus food delivery
the merits of blocking vs. muting on Twitter
whether college offensive linemen are really as unprepared as NFL scouts complain they are
strength coaches
the merits of scheduling FCS opponents
the very small difference between Heaven and Hell

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Two former SEC linemen join Jason and Ryan while Spencer is lost in the mountains. They talk about:

fried chicken chains and the unspeakable world of on-campus food delivery
the merits of blocking vs. muting on Twitter
whether college offensive linemen are really as unprepared as NFL scouts complain they are
strength coaches
the merits of scheduling FCS opponents
the very small difference between Heaven and Hell

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The fire code gets tossed out the window on this episode, with special guests Bill Connelly (Podcast Ain't Played Nobody), Dan Rubenstein (The Solid Verbal), Bud Elliott (Tomahawk Nation), and Brian Floyd (Lost in the Upside Down). This ragtag crew is faced with the task of: - Figuring out what the hell we did with those season predictions, and why - Selecting the most generic FBS school - Threatening to murder turn of the century German teens - Identifying the worst conference game of 2016 - Picking the teams that will go from great to trash and vice versa this season - Failing to know the best Van Morrison song

It's...surprisingly coherent? Sure, let's go with that.

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The fire code gets tossed out the window on this episode, with special guests Bill Connelly (Podcast Ain't Played Nobody), Dan Rubenstein (The Solid Verbal), Bud Elliott (Tomahawk Nation), and Brian Floyd (Lost in the Upside Down). This ragtag crew is faced with the task of: - Figuring out what the hell we did with those season predictions, and why - Selecting the most generic FBS school - Threatening to murder turn of the century German teens - Identifying the worst conference game of 2016 - Picking the teams that will go from great to trash and vice versa this season - Failing to know the best Van Morrison song

It's...surprisingly coherent? Sure, let's go with that.

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The Shutdown Fullcast opens things by discussing the important point of how everything in your life is trash, and will likely not improve no matter how hard you work. SEGUE: JUST LIKE A MID-MAJOR OR GROUP OF FIVE'S CHANCES AT ACTUALLY GETTING IN THE PLAYOFF. Transitions, like everything else around here, are seamless, man.

Topics:

--Settle down, Houston, you'll be fine and please don't make us hate your otherwise really fun football team by being horrible online fans and/or having your coach morph into a tentacled monster like at least half of the coaches in college football seem to

--USF? We talk about USF, and it's mostly really good things we say with great sincerity even though it's technically still a school

--The Fun Belt devolves into a discussion about how App State will definitely beat Miami this year, if only because it feels so fun to let those words come out of your mouth

--Western Kentucky has to replace a quarterback but good lord they have all the points your team might have lost

--Do we discuss independent Notre Dame? No, because we know what you do with the ACC when the lights are off and only the Lord is watching, Notre Dame.

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Shutdown Fullcast 4.28: The Middest Of Major Episodes by Channel 6

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The final preview episode! We're there, at last, but not before an intro where we talk about how playing in Detroit in the NFL is like the Dark Souls of football career challenges, and maybe a quick diversion into Botched, the best worst show on television. These two concepts are definitely related.

The final teams:

--BAMA. Mostly just us making things up about how they're not going to drag everyone on this schedule except for Ole Miss

--OLE MISS. A fond discussion about a team that will probably beat Alabama, and then somehow lose four games along the way. The Rebels remain the team that wins the lottery on Monday, and is out of money by Tuesday; the Rebels remain "As I Lay Dying: The Football Team."

--TEXAS A&M. That thing where you look at the schedule and make some very charitable advances in the Aggies' direction and still come up with a 7-5 record at best. Good luck, Kevin Sumlin!

--UCLA. Josh Rosen could be really good, and it still might not matter if UCLA manages to get half its roster injured like they did last year. We also examine the philosophies of Jim Mora, Profane Zen Master.

--West Virginia. Dana Holgorsen has been in Morgantown six years! He's almost an institution, which is probably just about when he up and leaves before creditors find him.

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The final preview episode! We're there, at last, but not before an intro where we talk about how playing in Detroit in the NFL is like the Dark Souls of football career challenges, and maybe a quick diversion into Botched, the best worst show on television. These two concepts are definitely related. The final teams: --BAMA. Mostly just us making things up about how they're not going to drag everyone on this schedule except for Ole Miss --OLE MISS. A fond discussion about a team that will probably beat Alabama, and then somehow lose four games along the way. The Rebels remain the team that wins the lottery on Monday, and is out of money by Tuesday; the Rebels remain "As I Lay Dying: The Football Team." --TEXAS A&M. That thing where you look at the schedule and make some very charitable advances in the Aggies' direction and still come up with a 7-5 record at best. Good luck, Kevin Sumlin! --UCLA. Josh Rosen could be really good, and it still might not matter if UCLA manages to get half its roster injured like they did last year. We also examine the philosophies of Jim Mora, Profane Zen Master. --West Virginia. Dana Holgorsen has been in Morgantown six years! He's almost an institution, which is probably just about when he up and leaves before creditors find him.

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You know, just because we say you're getting two podcasts in a week doesn't mean you're getting a good pair of podcasts. This isn't entirely our fault: the random assortment of teams came up with not one, but TWO teams in the state of Illinois. This was doomed from the start.

Topics include:

--A quick discussion of the hierarchy of cheap-ass grocery store chains, and a reminder that HEB hands out beers to drink while you're shopping

--A review of all the bad things that have happened to every single one of these teams

--A discussion of South Carolina football that devolves into "Will Muschamp, hostage negotiator"

--How Northwestern is exactly the team to start 4-0 and end up 6-6

--A thing that will get us at least two angry emails about how Chicago is a college football town

--Oregon State gets fast-forwarded to next year, let's just come back and see how they're doing next year, y'all, look away, this is definitely something for 2017 and eyes away, please

--Ryan talks very seriously about Baylor, and not about football alone

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You know, just because we say you're getting two podcasts in a week doesn't mean you're getting a good pair of podcasts. This isn't entirely our fault: the random assortment of teams came up with not one, but TWO teams in the state of Illinois. This was doomed from the start. Topics include: --A quick discussion of the hierarchy of cheap-ass grocery store chains, and a reminder that HEB hands out beers to drink while you're shopping --A review of all the bad things that have happened to every single one of these teams --A discussion of South Carolina football that devolves into "Will Muschamp, hostage negotiator" --How Northwestern is exactly the team to start 4-0 and end up 6-6 --A thing that will get us at least two angry emails about how Chicago is a college football town --Oregon State gets fast-forwarded to next year, let's just come back and see how they're doing next year, y'all, look away, this is definitely something for 2017 and eyes away, please --Ryan talks very seriously about Baylor, and not about football alone

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Oh it's DOUBLE FULLCAST WEEK. This one might as well be the Brunch episode, because it involves a few prime ingredients (look, we're talking about Florida State, an excellent football team) mixed in with the lesser leftovers from the week you might not want to serve by themselves. (Hello, Indiana and Vanderbilt.)

Topics include:

--More yelling about FSU's Dalvin Cook, who should have been the Heisman winner last year, and how his football team might be real, real good around him already before you add in his unearthly talents.

--Vanderbilt discussion centers mostly around a.) Vandy improving to a lofty five win standard again, and b.) a lot of reminders about how dismal Vandy has been historically, like that's something that will make Vandy feel better about getting their teeth kicked in by Tennessee consistently again.

--Indiana! AMERICA'S MOST ZANDER DIAMONT TEAM.

--Texas Tech! They're just Indiana football, but dustier and blessed with Pat Mahomes at quarterback.

--Finally, Kansas State, which just gets kind of sad because it really, really feels like Bill Snyder's last season. (Even though it turns out that Bill Snyder is younger than man/chicken hybrid Kenny Rogers.)

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Oh it's DOUBLE FULLCAST WEEK. This one might as well be the Brunch episode, because it involves a few prime ingredients (look, we're talking about Florida State, an excellent football team) mixed in with the lesser leftovers from the week you might not want to serve by themselves. (Hello, Indiana and Vanderbilt.) Topics include: --More yelling about FSU's Dalvin Cook, who should have been the Heisman winner last year, and how his football team might be real, real good around him already before you add in his unearthly talents. --Vanderbilt discussion centers mostly around a.) Vandy improving to a lofty five win standard again, and b.) a lot of reminders about how dismal Vandy has been historically, like that's something that will make Vandy feel better about getting their teeth kicked in by Tennessee consistently again. --Indiana! AMERICA'S MOST ZANDER DIAMONT TEAM. --Texas Tech! They're just Indiana football, but dustier and blessed with Pat Mahomes at quarterback. --Finally, Kansas State, which just gets kind of sad because it really, really feels like Bill Snyder's last season. (Even though it turns out that Bill Snyder is younger than man/chicken hybrid Kenny Rogers.)

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WE BACK. The summer preview quite literally rolls on, at least in Jason's case, since he recorded his portion in the car this week in transit to SEC Media Days. Does Jason, recording in his car on a phone over the ineptly paved and uneven highways of Alabama, still sound better than recording over Indiana internet? Yes, yes it does. You're better than Indiana at something, Alabama! STICK THAT CHEST OUT AND ROLL TIDE.

This one is...actually good? Actually GREAT. The teams this week are:

--MICHIGAN STATE. A team that somehow feels like they'll be fine by scoring fewer points, playing uglier football, and losing a quarterback whose personality was considered cancerous even by NFL quarterback standards. Then again: when has an experienced backup upperclassman being considered a given at QB ever gone wrong, we ask, when, when in the entire history of say, Florida football has that ever gone wro--

--NC State! They're definitely a football team? They have a pretty good defense? They'll play sort of ineffective offense, but do it quickly? They're in the ACC, and not named Florida State or Clemson, so [bucket of shrug emojis]?

--GEORGIA. A preview where we definitely do not say that Kirby Smart is Will Muschamp part 2, and where Jason yells out "ALL DAWGS MATTER" after suggesting you can get an undergraduate degree in conservative talk radio at the University of Georgia. Remember when Grayson Lambert went 24 for 25 against South Carolina, and was going to win the Heisman, and then five months later Mark Richt was coaching Miami? We do.

--Louisville! Summary: Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson

--TCU. Where when you play Pokemon Go, you find Gary Patterson and you find a Squirtle. We all agree that they're going to go 11-1, which is nothing but doom for TCU. SQUIRTLE WINS.

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WE BACK. The summer preview quite literally rolls on, at least in Jason's case, since he recorded his portion in the car this week in transit to SEC Media Days. Does Jason, recording in his car on a phone over the ineptly paved and uneven highways of Alabama, still sound better than recording over Indiana internet? Yes, yes it does. You're better than Indiana at something, Alabama! STICK THAT CHEST OUT AND ROLL TIDE. This one is...actually good? Actually GREAT. The teams this week are: --MICHIGAN STATE. A team that somehow feels like they'll be fine by scoring fewer points, playing uglier football, and losing a quarterback whose personality was considered cancerous even by NFL quarterback standards. Then again: when has an experienced backup upperclassman being considered a given at QB ever gone wrong, we ask, when, when in the entire history of say, Florida football has that ever gone wro-- --NC State! They're definitely a football team? They have a pretty good defense? They'll play sort of ineffective offense, but do it quickly? They're in the ACC, and not named Florida State or Clemson, so [bucket of shrug emojis]? --GEORGIA. A preview where we definitely do not say that Kirby Smart is Will Muschamp part 2, and where Jason yells out "ALL DAWGS MATTER" after suggesting you can get an undergraduate degree in conservative talk radio at the University of Georgia. Remember when Grayson Lambert went 24 for 25 against South Carolina, and was going to win the Heisman, and then five months later Mark Richt was coaching Miami? We do. --Louisville! Summary: Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson --TCU. Where when you play Pokemon Go, you find Gary Patterson and you find a Squirtle. We all agree that they're going to go 11-1, which is nothing but doom for TCU. SQUIRTLE WINS.

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Jason joined us from Indiana to record this one from inside what sounds like a steamer trunk filled with spiders. We will never, ever let Jason do this again, or we will put him back inside a very real steamer trunk filled with spiders.

The teams previewed this week are:

--Mississippi State! Goddammit, Dan Mullen, you gigantic idiot. That and "Dak Prescott is gone" are your whole preview.

--LSU! Where Jason, from inside that spider-filled steamer trunk in Buttsville, Indiana, tries to sell us all on Brandon Harris being more than the typical LSU Quarterback Of The Moderately Damnable Quality.

--Arkansas! We mostly debate the various calendar-themed types of Arkansas teams Bret Bielema has created over the years: the SeptemBERT variety, the OctoBERT one, or the rarest and most potent of them all, the NovemBERT strain that still goes like 2-2, but does so with a powerful, entertaining vigor. Please don't firebomb our houses for discussing your football team, Arkansas fans.

--Penn State! Now with 100% less Christian Hackenberg, which might be a good thing? Oh, and they turned over their whole coaching staff, basically, so...JAMES FRANKLIN RECRUITING SOMETHING SOMETHING

--Duke, which we don't really preview because honestly we know nothing about them, will do no research, and are very glad David Cutcliffe will probably get them somewhere between 5-7 and 7-5 and better than Duke football should by any rights be.

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Jason joined us from Indiana to record this one from inside what sounds like a steamer trunk filled with spiders. We will never, ever let Jason do this again, or we will put him back inside a very real steamer trunk filled with spiders. The teams previewed this week are: --Mississippi State! Goddammit, Dan Mullen, you gigantic idiot. That and "Dak Prescott is gone" are your whole preview. --LSU! Where Jason, from inside that spider-filled steamer trunk in Buttsville, Indiana, tries to sell us all on Brandon Harris being more than the typical LSU Quarterback Of The Moderately Damnable Quality. --Arkansas! We mostly debate the various calendar-themed types of Arkansas teams Bret Bielema has created over the years: the SeptemBERT variety, the OctoBERT one, or the rarest and most potent of them all, the NovemBERT strain that still goes like 2-2, but does so with a powerful, entertaining vigor. Please don't firebomb our houses for discussing your football team, Arkansas fans. --Penn State! Now with 100% less Christian Hackenberg, which might be a good thing? Oh, and they turned over their whole coaching staff, basically, so...JAMES FRANKLIN RECRUITING SOMETHING SOMETHING --Duke, which we don't really preview because honestly we know nothing about them, will do no research, and are very glad David Cutcliffe will probably get them somewhere between 5-7 and 7-5 and better than Duke football should by any rights be.

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Why did we discuss USC? Mostly to remind you no one knows who their coach is, and so we could play out the gag of not saying his name to make you look up who it is. Oh, and to make Ryan go back when Spencer forgot the gag, said his name, and then forced Ryan to edit in some extremely dope music over the guy's name at the 9:30 mark.

Topics! (THEY'RE CALLIN' AGAIN.)

--What USC will look like in 2016, which will probably be "a lot like other USC teams in recent history, but with an absolutely brutal schedule including Alabama in week one." You'd want a few warmups if you were a new coach. UNNAMED COACH does not get one, and that should be extremely entertaining for everyone but USC fans. They get to break in a new QB, too, and most of a new front seven! Just lean on the phrase "IMMENSELY TALENTED AND GROWING EVERY DAY," Trojan fans. It's a rhetorical rock that won't budge for at least a year of steady support.

--Missouri! Don't listen to this part, it's just depressing to talk about, we shouldn't have talked about Missouri at all.

--Kentucky! Man, just don't listen to this either. You chose poorly, listeners. You chose so poorly when you picked this selection.

--Cal! When you look at a team and they could conceivably go 3-9, that's...seriously, why did you give us these teams to talk about.

--A quick look at Oklahoma State, the school where Mike Gundy is still coach. We checked and called and everything, he's actually still there despite feuding with the school's biggest booster every three years or so when his contract comes up.

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Why did we discuss USC? Mostly to remind you no one knows who their coach is, and so we could play out the gag of not saying his name to make you look up who it is. Oh, and to make Ryan go back when Spencer forgot the gag, said his name, and then forced Ryan to edit in some extremely dope music over the guy's name at the 9:30 mark. Topics! (THEY'RE CALLIN' AGAIN.) --What USC will look like in 2016, which will probably be "a lot like other USC teams in recent history, but with an absolutely brutal schedule including Alabama in week one." You'd want a few warmups if you were a new coach. UNNAMED COACH does not get one, and that should be extremely entertaining for everyone but USC fans. They get to break in a new QB, too, and most of a new front seven! Just lean on the phrase "IMMENSELY TALENTED AND GROWING EVERY DAY," Trojan fans. It's a rhetorical rock that won't budge for at least a year of steady support. --Missouri! Don't listen to this part, it's just depressing to talk about, we shouldn't have talked about Missouri at all. --Kentucky! Man, just don't listen to this either. You chose poorly, listeners. You chose so poorly when you picked this selection. --Cal! When you look at a team and they could conceivably go 3-9, that's...seriously, why did you give us these teams to talk about. --A quick look at Oklahoma State, the school where Mike Gundy is still coach. We checked and called and everything, he's actually still there despite feuding with the school's biggest booster every three years or so when his contract comes up.

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FARMERS ONLY THIS WEEK. The Shutdown Fullcast this week covers the agriculturingest slate of teams we've covered yet, including:

--Nebraska, a team that on further examination reveals itself to have absolutely no predictability whatsoever for 2016. None. Look at that schedule and find more than two sure wins or two sure losses in either direction. Do it and die.

--Virginia, an outlier here because a.) Virginia has not farmed since the 1800s and b.) all three of us admit that we will not watch more than three combined quarters of UVA football this year even with a new coach, because we never watch more than three combined quarters of Virginia football in any calendar year

--Clemson! The thinkin' farmer's school, which happens to be good enough at scoring points to realistically outpace anyone trying to keep up with them this year. Deshaun Watson ran for a thousand yards and threw for over 4,000 last year and gets his best receiver back. Do not stare directly at the Clemson offense; do not handle it without protective goggles and lead aprons.

--Oklahoma! Watch how much we don't talk about Bob Stoops having Joe Mixon as someone who somehow gets to play football this year.

--It would be a shame to demean the sucecss of Iowa football in 2015 and their promise for 2016 by just talking about ¡EL ASSICO! and how badly Iowa got trashed in the Rose Bowl by Stanford. This, however, is a podcast built on shame. This is pretty much what we do.

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FARMERS ONLY THIS WEEK. The Shutdown Fullcast this week covers the agriculturingest slate of teams we've covered yet, including: --Nebraska, a team that on further examination reveals itself to have absolutely no predictability whatsoever for 2016. None. Look at that schedule and find more than two sure wins or two sure losses in either direction. Do it and die. --Virginia, an outlier here because a.) Virginia has not farmed since the 1800s and b.) all three of us admit that we will not watch more than three combined quarters of UVA football this year even with a new coach, because we never watch more than three combined quarters of Virginia football in any calendar year --Clemson! The thinkin' farmer's school, which happens to be good enough at scoring points to realistically outpace anyone trying to keep up with them this year. Deshaun Watson ran for a thousand yards and threw for over 4,000 last year and gets his best receiver back. Do not stare directly at the Clemson offense; do not handle it without protective goggles and lead aprons. --Oklahoma! Watch how much we don't talk about Bob Stoops having Joe Mixon as someone who somehow gets to play football this year. --It would be a shame to demean the sucecss of Iowa football in 2015 and their promise for 2016 by just talking about ¡EL ASSICO! and how badly Iowa got trashed in the Rose Bowl by Stanford. This, however, is a podcast built on shame. This is pretty much what we do.

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The Shutdown Fullcast Random Previews continue with four very interesting, important, and/or intriguing teams. There is also Maryland. We're sorry, but there is also some Maryland in there.

Topics include:

--Maryland! We talk about the Terps first, largely to get them out of the way because it's gonna be a rebuilding year even if it will be an interesting one. Spencer thinks they'll lose to FIU! Take it to the bank, if your bank also takes bets on obscure Friday night out-of-conference games.

--We all agree that Auburn is an extremely dangerous team in 2016. (Mostly for Auburn, but dangerous is dangerous is dangerous.)

--Did we all just somehow agree that Texas is a nine-win team? Did this just happen? THIS JUST HAPPENED, GO CRAZY AND HOOK 'EM, DEFINITELY RUN WITH THIS ABSURD OPTIMISM AND DO NOT QUESTION IT, LONGHORN FANS.

--All three of us come to the realization that Washington State has become something reliable in the Pac-12. The definition of reliable, it turns out, is flexible beyond all utility.

--We finish with Ohio State, the team that somehow still has a J.T. Barrett on the schedule and pulls next to nothing out of the Big Ten's other division in lining up what looks like a ten-win rebuilding season that will leave very few people happy. Don't ever let your football team become good enough that ten wins satisfies no one.

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The Shutdown Fullcast Random Previews continue with four very interesting, important, and/or intriguing teams. There is also Maryland. We're sorry, but there is also some Maryland in there. Topics include: --Maryland! We talk about the Terps first, largely to get them out of the way because it's gonna be a rebuilding year even if it will be an interesting one. Spencer thinks they'll lose to FIU! Take it to the bank, if your bank also takes bets on obscure Friday night out-of-conference games. --We all agree that Auburn is an extremely dangerous team in 2016. (Mostly for Auburn, but dangerous is dangerous is dangerous.) --Did we all just somehow agree that Texas is a nine-win team? Did this just happen? THIS JUST HAPPENED, GO CRAZY AND HOOK 'EM, DEFINITELY RUN WITH THIS ABSURD OPTIMISM AND DO NOT QUESTION IT, LONGHORN FANS. --All three of us come to the realization that Washington State has become something reliable in the Pac-12. The definition of reliable, it turns out, is flexible beyond all utility. --We finish with Ohio State, the team that somehow still has a J.T. Barrett on the schedule and pulls next to nothing out of the Big Ten's other division in lining up what looks like a ten-win rebuilding season that will leave very few people happy. Don't ever let your football team become good enough that ten wins satisfies no one.

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SO after last week's debacle where our readers accidentally selected the worst slate of teams possible to preview for 2016, we took matters into our own hands. This week we preview five teams that could not only be very good this year, but who could also theoretically win things and be fun to watch and stuff.

Also, Jason is not broadcasting from the middle of a driving rainstorm this week. He's in a car, which sounds way better than you expect it to, really.

Topics:

-- How Spencer got a forty dollar go-cup, and why it's effectively worthless

-- Speaking of things staying cold for extended periods of time: TENNESSEE FOOTBALL, PREVIEWED. Did you know the only interesting game the play after mid-October is against Will Muschamp, the ultimate obstruction? Isn't that potentially hilarious, especially now that he doesn't coach Florida? That's potentially hilarious.

-- Ryan calls for Michigan to go 12-0 and it seems fairly reasonable? Particularly with their schedule, a spread so luxurious that it features a bye week before playing Illinois.

-- Virginia Tech will have offense and defense at the same time, allegedly, per reports, hypothetically, maybe. It's different now, and we'll all have to watch Bud Foster look real confused as his team scores unheard of "points" without intercepting the ball or forcing fumbles.

-- Arizona! They're definitely a team that will play this year? (We did very little research on Arizona before working with them, much like Rich Rodriguez did.)

-- Washington could be very good this year if they do not do the thing a lot of Pac-12 teams do in dropping the weirdest conference games imaginable. Washington is a Pac-12 team. They will probably drop a weird conference game.

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SO after last week's debacle where our readers accidentally selected the worst slate of teams possible to preview for 2016, we took matters into our own hands. This week we preview five teams that could not only be very good this year, but who could also theoretically win things and be fun to watch and stuff. Also, Jason is not broadcasting from the middle of a driving rainstorm this week. He's in a car, which sounds way better than you expect it to, really. Topics: -- How Spencer got a forty dollar go-cup, and why it's effectively worthless -- Speaking of things staying cold for extended periods of time: TENNESSEE FOOTBALL, PREVIEWED. Did you know the only interesting game the play after mid-October is against Will Muschamp, the ultimate obstruction? Isn't that potentially hilarious, especially now that he doesn't coach Florida? That's potentially hilarious. -- Ryan calls for Michigan to go 12-0 and it seems fairly reasonable? Particularly with their schedule, a spread so luxurious that it features a bye week before playing Illinois. -- Virginia Tech will have offense and defense at the same time, allegedly, per reports, hypothetically, maybe. It's different now, and we'll all have to watch Bud Foster look real confused as his team scores unheard of "points" without intercepting the ball or forcing fumbles. -- Arizona! They're definitely a team that will play this year? (We did very little research on Arizona before working with them, much like Rich Rodriguez did.) -- Washington could be very good this year if they do not do the thing a lot of Pac-12 teams do in dropping the weirdest conference games imaginable. Washington is a Pac-12 team. They will probably drop a weird conference game.

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SO that whole thing where Ryan assigned random numbers to teams and had readers select our previewed squads by those numbers? It flopped a handful of unsuited garbage this week, as the randomness called forth pure Lovecraftian horror. (Spoiler: Lovecraftian horror in football terms equals not one, but TWO BOTTOM-DWELLING ACC TEAMS IN ONE PREVIEW.)

We'd apologize, but y'all opened this hellmouth, not us. Topics covered and cringed through include:

--Syracuse, you did something good! It feels just as weird for us as it does for you. Listen as we somehow talk our way into thinking this might be a bowl team.

--A devil's bargain engineered by Ryan where both Jason and ourselves choose to go on a roadtrip around America's least glamorous corridor rather than go to West Lafayette, Indiana, ever.

--We could talk about Wake Forest or we could talk about how Jason is literally walking back and forth between the inside of his house and a roaring late spring thunderstorm like THAT'S SOMETHING YOU CAN DO ON A PODCAST <------still higher quality than Wake Forest football

--Why staying in Ames, Iowa for longer than two years is a great way to end up as the head coach of a Conference USA team. Or maybe Auburn. Basically it's a random portal to who knows where, young coach! Jump in it and see where it spits you out!

--Boston College! The most Boston of teams in that it's actually the gritty, undermanned underdog Bostonians believe themselves to be, but are not in any way!

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SO that whole thing where Ryan assigned random numbers to teams and had readers select our previewed squads by those numbers? It flopped a handful of unsuited garbage this week, as the randomness called forth pure Lovecraftian horror. (Spoiler: Lovecraftian horror in football terms equals not one, but TWO BOTTOM-DWELLING ACC TEAMS IN ONE PREVIEW.) We'd apologize, but y'all opened this hellmouth, not us. Topics covered and cringed through include: --Syracuse, you did something good! It feels just as weird for us as it does for you. Listen as we somehow talk our way into thinking this might be a bowl team. --A devil's bargain engineered by Ryan where both Jason and ourselves choose to go on a roadtrip around America's least glamorous corridor rather than go to West Lafayette, Indiana, ever. --We could talk about Wake Forest or we could talk about how Jason is literally walking back and forth between the inside of his house and a roaring late spring thunderstorm like THAT'S SOMETHING YOU CAN DO ON A PODCAST <------still higher quality than Wake Forest football --Why staying in Ames, Iowa for longer than two years is a great way to end up as the head coach of a Conference USA team. Or maybe Auburn. Basically it's a random portal to who knows where, young coach! Jump in it and see where it spits you out! --Boston College! The most Boston of teams in that it's actually the gritty, undermanned underdog Bostonians believe themselves to be, but are not in any way!

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The non-preview preview editions of the Shutdown Fullcast continue into...well, into some dark territory. Let's be honest and just say that we talk about Pitt and Rutgers NO WAIT WE COME BACK WE TALK ABOUT OTHER SHIT WE PROMISE---

Things like:

--Hey did you remember that Mark Richt is the head coach at Miami, and he gets to work with Brad Kaaya, and that could be really cool since they're both pretty good at their complimentary jobs? And that Miami plays Appalachian State this year? In Boone, North Carolina?

--More talk about Pitt football than anyone's had since 2007 when the greatest thing ever happened to Pitt which was just ruining a rival's best shot at a national title which is a negative positive but we are talking about Pitt so they'll take it

--Two minutes of Rutgers talk that no one wants to hear so just skip it

--We realize that Wisconsin, after years of missing the swinging hammer of a rotating schedule, takes a full-force shot to the face this year by basically playing every real good team in the Big Ten in one season

--Stanford! The team with the best and coldest player in the nation, even if you don't know who is handing the ball off to him this year. (Probably someone named Keller Chryst, but you could have guessed that or some other name like that.)

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The non-preview preview editions of the Shutdown Fullcast continue into...well, into some dark territory. Let's be honest and just say that we talk about Pitt and Rutgers NO WAIT WE COME BACK WE TALK ABOUT OTHER SHIT WE PROMISE--- Things like: --Hey did you remember that Mark Richt is the head coach at Miami, and he gets to work with Brad Kaaya, and that could be really cool since they're both pretty good at their complimentary jobs? And that Miami plays Appalachian State this year? In Boone, North Carolina? --More talk about Pitt football than anyone's had since 2007 when the greatest thing ever happened to Pitt which was just ruining a rival's best shot at a national title which is a negative positive but we are talking about Pitt so they'll take it --Two minutes of Rutgers talk that no one wants to hear so just skip it --We realize that Wisconsin, after years of missing the swinging hammer of a rotating schedule, takes a full-force shot to the face this year by basically playing every real good team in the Big Ten in one season --Stanford! The team with the best and coldest player in the nation, even if you don't know who is handing the ball off to him this year. (Probably someone named Keller Chryst, but you could have guessed that or some other name like that.)

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SHUTDOWN FULLCAST BACK. This time we continue our preview series with a random selection of schools best described as...well, very, very random indeed.

Topics and teams covered:

--Charlie Weis STILL GETS PAID DOLLAZ BY NOTRE DAME. He last coached for them in 2009. You can laugh about this, because the goal is to pull off a Charlie Weis as hard as you can in life and get paid too much money to do things you demonstrably cannot do.

--How Oregon football 2016 is still best described as "waiting to see if Mark Helfrich can really do his job, because the Ducks are so talented it's hard to tell whether they're about to implode or not". Also remember how they lost to Utah by 42 at home this year? And hired Brady Hoke to fix their defensive problems?

--A leisurely stroll through Utah football's prospects, including an appreciation of how damn long Kyle Whittingham has been in Salt Lake City, and how often he's worked out there. (Every day, and never, ever skipping bicep day.)

--Kansas is still playing football! And will probably lose eleven straight games this year. :(

--Minnesota is also still playing football! Big, ponderous, ice-cream fat football we think will win like, five games or so.

--The internet's most extensive and thorough Notre Dame preview!

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SHUTDOWN FULLCAST BACK. This time we continue our preview series with a random selection of schools best described as...well, very, very random indeed. Topics and teams covered: --Charlie Weis STILL GETS PAID DOLLAZ BY NOTRE DAME. He last coached for them in 2009. You can laugh about this, because the goal is to pull off a Charlie Weis as hard as you can in life and get paid too much money to do things you demonstrably cannot do. --How Oregon football 2016 is still best described as "waiting to see if Mark Helfrich can really do his job, because the Ducks are so talented it's hard to tell whether they're about to implode or not". Also remember how they lost to Utah by 42 at home this year? And hired Brady Hoke to fix their defensive problems? --A leisurely stroll through Utah football's prospects, including an appreciation of how damn long Kyle Whittingham has been in Salt Lake City, and how often he's worked out there. (Every day, and never, ever skipping bicep day.) --Kansas is still playing football! And will probably lose eleven straight games this year. :( --Minnesota is also still playing football! Big, ponderous, ice-cream fat football we think will win like, five games or so. --The internet's most extensive and thorough Notre Dame preview!

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The Shutdown Fullcast this week boldly attempts to go where Shutdown Fullcasts so rarely go: INTO ACTUAL FOOTBALL.

Ryan assigned random numbers to every college football team, and then asked readers to send him numbers. The five teams selected were Arizona State, Georgia Tech, North Carolina, and Colorado. We did no research, and attempted to discuss them!

Topics of actual football content covered include:

--Why Georgia Tech is the "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" of college football teams (the points don't matter!)

--a lawnmower goes off in the background while we're discussing Georgia Tech, which is the most DGAF Paul Johnson country shit ever besides finding the upside to missing a bowl game in 2015

--Why Arizona State will bounce back form a 6-7 season to have a spellbinding 7-6 season. (Also: yet another explanation of the important concept of boat muscles.)

--We spend most of the time on our UNC preview talking about how gutted their defense was by Baylor in the Russell Athletic Bowl, when Baylor ran EIGHTY-FOUR TIMES FOR 645 YARDS IN A SINGLE GAME. They passed 18 times, too, which is real funny. You know what UNC loses from that defense? Linebackers! THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.

--How Colorado will have the most brutal 5-7 season of 2016! You have no luck in anything, Colorado.

--A mean turn through the Florida Gators football schedule, which is the standard Jeremy Foley-endorsed trash. It is trash, Jeremy Foley. Straight fuckin' trash.

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The Shutdown Fullcast this week boldly attempts to go where Shutdown Fullcasts so rarely go: INTO ACTUAL FOOTBALL. Ryan assigned random numbers to every college football team, and then asked readers to send him numbers. The five teams selected were Arizona State, Georgia Tech, North Carolina, and Colorado. We did no research, and attempted to discuss them! Topics of actual football content covered include: --Why Georgia Tech is the "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" of college football teams (the points don't matter!) --a lawnmower goes off in the background while we're discussing Georgia Tech, which is the most DGAF Paul Johnson country shit ever besides finding the upside to missing a bowl game in 2015 --Why Arizona State will bounce back form a 6-7 season to have a spellbinding 7-6 season. (Also: yet another explanation of the important concept of boat muscles.) --We spend most of the time on our UNC preview talking about how gutted their defense was by Baylor in the Russell Athletic Bowl, when Baylor ran EIGHTY-FOUR TIMES FOR 645 YARDS IN A SINGLE GAME. They passed 18 times, too, which is real funny. You know what UNC loses from that defense? Linebackers! THE POINTS DON'T MATTER. --How Colorado will have the most brutal 5-7 season of 2016! You have no luck in anything, Colorado. --A mean turn through the Florida Gators football schedule, which is the standard Jeremy Foley-endorsed trash. It is trash, Jeremy Foley. Straight fuckin' trash.

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The Shutdown Fullcast this week features all three cast members reunited at last. This is good because it requires the full powers of Ryan, Spencer, and Jason combined to admit the painful but obvious truth: that Ole Miss delivered for once, and saved everyone from the tedium of an event-free offseason.

Topics covered include:

-- "New York is the Reebok Pump of cities"

-- The debut of "Neil deGrasse Tyson, Football Analyst", and the debut of the gritties noble gas

-- How Laremy Tunsil had the absolute worst possible night on draft night, and how nothing should change at Ole Miss whatsoever, and how the SEC is the laziest conference imaginable in every lazy way possible because they are lazy. LAZY.

-- nope nope nothing happened at Alabama nope don't look no biggie nope

-- "Stand Up! With George Wallace", aka the most popular podcast in Birmingham

-- Reader questions, including a discussion of what the worst possible expanded universe would be, aka WHY THE GILMORE GIRLS IS THE MOST TEDIOUS SHOW EVER MADE

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The Shutdown Fullcast this week features all three cast members reunited at last. This is good because it requires the full powers of Ryan, Spencer, and Jason combined to admit the painful but obvious truth: that Ole Miss delivered for once, and saved everyone from the tedium of an event-free offseason. Topics covered include: -- "New York is the Reebok Pump of cities" -- The debut of "Neil deGrasse Tyson, Football Analyst", and the debut of the gritties noble gas -- How Laremy Tunsil had the absolute worst possible night on draft night, and how nothing should change at Ole Miss whatsoever, and how the SEC is the laziest conference imaginable in every lazy way possible because they are lazy. LAZY. -- nope nope nothing happened at Alabama nope don't look no biggie nope -- "Stand Up! With George Wallace", aka the most popular podcast in Birmingham -- Reader questions, including a discussion of what the worst possible expanded universe would be, aka WHY THE GILMORE GIRLS IS THE MOST TEDIOUS SHOW EVER MADE

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Andy Staples of Sports Illustrated joins us at the last minute to take Jason's spot. Where is Jason? Jason was at Disney World, and needs several weeks to recover from the experience. This seems like a paltry amount of time for this, but he's a soldier and we can't keep him away from the front lines for long.

Topics covered include:

--The time Andy yelled "IRON" in Italian at terrified Florentines until someone finally sold him one for 19 euros

--How to care about anything in what might be the driest, most boring offseason college football has ever known (A: you can't, really)

--Why the Department of Justice has solved every major issue facing this country

--A brief discussion of how USC might be one of the most incompetent athletic departments in the country and yet still get bailed out by resources, beautiful surroundings, and UCLA never caring enough to be good

--Which conference will be the first to construct a giant monster truck made entirely of Mini Coopers? (Texas, it's gonna be Texas.)

--Yet more epic tales of poor and stupid living from Alachua County

--The unveiling of the Andy Staples Perpetual Motion BBQ machine

--The first and only edition of "Joel Osteen or Mack Brown?"

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Andy Staples of Sports Illustrated joins us at the last minute to take Jason's spot. Where is Jason? Jason was at Disney World, and needs several weeks to recover from the experience. This seems like a paltry amount of time for this, but he's a soldier and we can't keep him away from the front lines for long. Topics covered include: --The time Andy yelled "IRON" in Italian at terrified Florentines until someone finally sold him one for 19 euros --How to care about anything in what might be the driest, most boring offseason college football has ever known (A: you can't, really) --Why the Department of Justice has solved every major issue facing this country --A brief discussion of how USC might be one of the most incompetent athletic departments in the country and yet still get bailed out by resources, beautiful surroundings, and UCLA never caring enough to be good --Which conference will be the first to construct a giant monster truck made entirely of Mini Coopers? (Texas, it's gonna be Texas.) --Yet more epic tales of poor and stupid living from Alachua County --The unveiling of the Andy Staples Perpetual Motion BBQ machine --The first and only edition of "Joel Osteen or Mack Brown?"

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The Fullcast grabbed Holly Anderson to fill in for Ryan who is SOMEHOW STILL ON VACATION WHAT ARE YOU EUROPEAN OR SOMETHING. Anyway, she's the captain now, and Ryan's gone and can keep mooning about the continent and eating street waffles for all we care. HOPE STREET WAFFLES WERE WORTH OUR LOVE, FAITHLESS MAN-SCAMP.

Topics covered include

--Why there's a traffic reporter in ATL who is called "Cracker", aka "there's a different racial dynamic when you're in a helicopter."

--How Holly forgot the name of USC's coach, again, and how USC really did hire three USC offensive coordinators in a row like that's a thing that isn't hilarious and absurd

--A brief discussion of South Carolina's Boom Bus, and how no one ever leaves Will Muschamp with enough floss

--Bud Elliott's hot prom fashion tips for 2016

--An analysis of Ludacris' tour rider, including a positive review of his taste in candles and deodorant (SECRET GANG)

--Holly explaining why "Your dad" jokes are so, so much worse than "Your mom" jokes, and then proceeding to making Spencer very, very uncomfortable

--An appreciation of various outdoorsy drunk-states, including a solid plea for the superiority of "lake drunk"

--Was there more to this podcast that we didn't record due to technical incompetence? YOU BETCHA, TAKE IT FOR THE LOW PRICE OF FREE ANYWAY.

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The Fullcast grabbed Holly Anderson to fill in for Ryan who is SOMEHOW STILL ON VACATION WHAT ARE YOU EUROPEAN OR SOMETHING. Anyway, she's the captain now, and Ryan's gone and can keep mooning about the continent and eating street waffles for all we care. HOPE STREET WAFFLES WERE WORTH OUR LOVE, FAITHLESS MAN-SCAMP. Topics covered include --Why there's a traffic reporter in ATL who is called "Cracker", aka "there's a different racial dynamic when you're in a helicopter." --How Holly forgot the name of USC's coach, again, and how USC really did hire three USC offensive coordinators in a row like that's a thing that isn't hilarious and absurd --A brief discussion of South Carolina's Boom Bus, and how no one ever leaves Will Muschamp with enough floss --Bud Elliott's hot prom fashion tips for 2016 --An analysis of Ludacris' tour rider, including a positive review of his taste in candles and deodorant (SECRET GANG) --Holly explaining why "Your dad" jokes are so, so much worse than "Your mom" jokes, and then proceeding to making Spencer very, very uncomfortable --An appreciation of various outdoorsy drunk-states, including a solid plea for the superiority of "lake drunk" --Was there more to this podcast that we didn't record due to technical incompetence? YOU BETCHA, TAKE IT FOR THE LOW PRICE OF FREE ANYWAY.

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The Shutdown Fullcast for this week subs out one Ryan for another because SOMEONE decided he needed a "vacation in Italy."

In Nanni's place we substitute Ryan Van Bibber, SB Nation NFL editor, who despite his chosen subject matter has very little respect for the Cult of the NFL Draft.

Topics covered include:

--the splendors of Branson, MO

--which Florida Gator will be the steal of the draft, and what school he ended up playing football at after being kicked out of the University of Florida (because that happens to every football player at the University of Florida)

--a community agreement that all quarterbacks are busts coming out of college, and will be called this just to make life easier on them until success is attained

--an analysis of the least literate fans in college football re: the draft, and yes, it's Tebow loyalists

--the sandwich analogy for amateurism and theft

--a review of the 2000 draft, where Sebastian Janikowski might really be the best pick overall

--why you should draft anyone on a mid-major team where the mere mention of their name makes you go OH THAT GUY

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This week's Fullcast features nothing but reader questions thanks to a bumper crop of quality inquiries. This happens whenever you start asking people about bad financial decisions, because if there is one clarion theme in life, it's making terrible financial decisions all the time.

Topics covered include:

-- A full disclosure of tattoos, including a terrible anchor Jason couldn't be bothered to finish

--Should Mississippi State have paid the alleged $180K for Cam Newton YES YES YES THE ANSWER IS YES AND THERE IS NO OTHER ANSWER OTHER THAN "YES AND MAYBE WE SHOULD HAVE PAID HIM MORE"

--Why Randy "Macho Man" Savage would have been a fine suicide hotline operator

--A deeply personal discussion of personal dance moves

--"You know what'll never hurt you? A calliope."

--A definition of realistic prices for the service of being stunned by Stone Cold Steve Austin

--The invention of a wrestler named "CPAP", and the assignment of a Face role for Ryan where he wears briefs (or he's Paul Bearer, Jr.)

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This week's Fullcast features nothing but reader questions thanks to a bumper crop of quality inquiries. This happens whenever you start asking people about bad financial decisions, because if there is one clarion theme in life, it's making terrible financial decisions all the time. Topics covered include: -- A full disclosure of tattoos, including a terrible anchor Jason couldn't be bothered to finish --Should Mississippi State have paid the alleged $180K for Cam Newton YES YES YES THE ANSWER IS YES AND THERE IS NO OTHER ANSWER OTHER THAN "YES AND MAYBE WE SHOULD HAVE PAID HIM MORE" --Why Randy "Macho Man" Savage would have been a fine suicide hotline operator --A deeply personal discussion of personal dance moves --"You know what'll never hurt you? A calliope." --A definition of realistic prices for the service of being stunned by Stone Cold Steve Austin --The invention of a wrestler named "CPAP", and the assignment of a Face role for Ryan where he wears briefs (or he's Paul Bearer, Jr.)

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On this episode of Shutdown Fullcast, we give you tips on how to have the Best Spring Break Ever (tip 1: don't get punched) (tip 2: don't go to Gatlinburg), figure out which rap artists would be the best NFL agent, fix the Combine, make a bunch of unnecessary video game references, and talk about how a Georgia law is made.

P.S. There's still not really any college football happening, in case you couldn't tell.

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On this episode of Shutdown Fullcast, we give you tips on how to have the Best Spring Break Ever (tip 1: don't get punched) (tip 2: don't go to Gatlinburg), figure out which rap artists would be the best NFL agent, fix the Combine, make a bunch of unnecessary video game references, and talk about how a Georgia law is made. P.S. There's still not really any college football happening, in case you couldn't tell.

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An extremely slow college football week means we're talking about all of the following:

--A casual examination of random selections from the Rick James autobiography, including his relationship with Linda Blair and the time Rick James brought cocaine INTO Colombia

--How having kids means you'll see about two movies a year in the theater, and how one of those movies will definitely not be that Superman vs. Batman trash

--The dramatic overrepresentation of Boston in film, and how we're going to start the Houston-centric film genre with Jason's classic "Good Trill Hunting"

--Why the Longhorn Network should work the 2005 BCS Title game into every bit of its programming, every day

--Does Mike Gundy even care if he lives or dies anymore? And is he the most Universally Orange Coach?

--Why now is the perfect time for a thriving Big 12 to absolutely nuke itself

--An appreciation of the joy of stealing golf carts

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An extremely slow college football week means we're talking about all of the following: --A casual examination of random selections from the Rick James autobiography, including his relationship with Linda Blair and the time Rick James brought cocaine INTO Colombia --How having kids means you'll see about two movies a year in the theater, and how one of those movies will definitely not be that Superman vs. Batman trash --The dramatic overrepresentation of Boston in film, and how we're going to start the Houston-centric film genre with Jason's classic "Good Trill Hunting" --Why the Longhorn Network should work the 2005 BCS Title game into every bit of its programming, every day --Does Mike Gundy even care if he lives or dies anymore? And is he the most Universally Orange Coach? --Why now is the perfect time for a thriving Big 12 to absolutely nuke itself --An appreciation of the joy of stealing golf carts

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The Shutdown Fullcast returns this week with the following content provided to you during a season where there is ABSOLUTELY NO FOOTBALL CONTENT. We're basically magicians because a.) we make things appear out of nowhere, and b.) we're often awkward at parties, just like real magicians.

Topics include:

--The auspicious beginnings of the Will Muschamp era at South Carolina

--Two stories Bun B told us for free, including the time he was in a situation so bad that Suge Knight showing up was GOOD news

--A note of admiration for the genius who invented Blue Raspberry, the zone read of plays

--What to do when Purdue gets into your bloodstream

--Ryan speaks for several minutes in Ben Carson's voice, which he turns out to be pretty good at

--A question so heinous the clearest and safest answer is "Bob Davie"

--There's a school named "Moon Area", which isn't a question but is an important observation

--A terrifying realization that Charlie Weis WILL coach Rutgers one day

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The Shutdown Fullcast returns this week with the following content provided to you during a season where there is ABSOLUTELY NO FOOTBALL CONTENT. We're basically magicians because a.) we make things appear out of nowhere, and b.) we're often awkward at parties, just like real magicians. Topics include: --The auspicious beginnings of the Will Muschamp era at South Carolina --Two stories Bun B told us for free, including the time he was in a situation so bad that Suge Knight showing up was GOOD news --A note of admiration for the genius who invented Blue Raspberry, the zone read of plays --What to do when Purdue gets into your bloodstream --Ryan speaks for several minutes in Ben Carson's voice, which he turns out to be pretty good at --A question so heinous the clearest and safest answer is "Bob Davie" --There's a school named "Moon Area", which isn't a question but is an important observation --A terrifying realization that Charlie Weis WILL coach Rutgers one day

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An express edition of the Fullcast comes to you this week via travel and other annoyances of actual employment. A day late, yes, but not a dollar short because we're suddenly talking about ILLINOIS FOOTBALL SPENDING MONEY IN THE YEAR 2016. Take your opinions on what this means for the US economy and wad them up and deposit them in a trash can, because NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THIS MEANS.

Also discussed:

--NFL coaches who came to college with varying results

--A sidenote on that maybe mentioning that maybe Bill Callahan wasn't the worst coach in the world while he was at Nebraska, maybe? (Maybe?)

--I call former Arkansas running back Peyton Hillis "Perry Hillis" because I am having a month long stroke

--A brief acknowledgment that two more players have left the Florida football team, a thing that is surprisingly easy to do

--A long discussion for easily half of the podcast about the best and worst stores to be trapped. BASS PRO SHOPS FOR LIFE

The audio quality is crap because we had to record on the road, and also because the Vox Media offices' HVAC system runs at the volume of a MiG-23 at full bore.

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An express edition of the Fullcast comes to you this week via travel and other annoyances of actual employment. A day late, yes, but not a dollar short because we're suddenly talking about ILLINOIS FOOTBALL SPENDING MONEY IN THE YEAR 2016. Take your opinions on what this means for the US economy and wad them up and deposit them in a trash can, because NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THIS MEANS. Also discussed: --NFL coaches who came to college with varying results --A sidenote on that maybe mentioning that maybe Bill Callahan wasn't the worst coach in the world while he was at Nebraska, maybe? (Maybe?) --I call former Arkansas running back Peyton Hillis "Perry Hillis" because I am having a month long stroke --A brief acknowledgment that two more players have left the Florida football team, a thing that is surprisingly easy to do --A long discussion for easily half of the podcast about the best and worst stores to be trapped. BASS PRO SHOPS FOR LIFE The audio quality is crap because we had to record on the road, and also because the Vox Media offices' HVAC system runs at the volume of a MiG-23 at full bore.

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FULLCAST BACK. Not with anything new to discuss, because this is March and there is no football going on, but rather with the following:

--A discussion of college football's loneliest orphan program, and why it gets invited to all the best parties anyway

--The obvious transition into rearranging conferences to include their proper members, including bringing Nebraska home to the Big 12, putting Iowa State in the Sun Belt where it can compete, and putting West Virginia and Clemson in the SEC where they belong.

--The unholy realization that someone, somewhere out in the multiverse might have a split UCF/Ohio State jersey

--Reader questions, including a realization that Rutgers is Greece

--The awarding of imaginary lifetime achievement Oscars to Frank Beamer for his performance in "Virginia Tech Football: 1987--2015"

--The introduction of Notre Dame into "THE SOCIEDAD DEL SOL"

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FULLCAST BACK. Not with anything new to discuss, because this is March and there is no football going on, but rather with the following: --A discussion of college football's loneliest orphan program, and why it gets invited to all the best parties anyway --The obvious transition into rearranging conferences to include their proper members, including bringing Nebraska home to the Big 12, putting Iowa State in the Sun Belt where it can compete, and putting West Virginia and Clemson in the SEC where they belong. --The unholy realization that someone, somewhere out in the multiverse might have a split UCF/Ohio State jersey --Reader questions, including a realization that Rutgers is Greece --The awarding of imaginary lifetime achievement Oscars to Frank Beamer for his performance in "Virginia Tech Football: 1987--2015" --The introduction of Notre Dame into "THE SOCIEDAD DEL SOL"

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This week's episode of the Fullcast tackles the following oases of content in the otherwise barren landscape of mid-February:

--Spencer comes back from vacation to realize that the LSU football program does actually have a very thin chance of not happening next year due to Louisiana's budget stupidities

--A discussion of which coach has the most hidden debt (hint: the answer is based exclusively on a coach's sweatiness)

--A nightmarish proposal to mash certain fanbases and schools together into one horrible misbegotten beast-nation

--Which football coach is the Tom Crean of this sport? There's a lot of Tom Crean discussion in here, and man oh man is that fun

--The ultimate plan to survive coaching sixteen games in the NFL without any experience of any sort. Ryan thinks he could go 6-10 with the Dolphins! We do not.

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This week's episode of the Fullcast tackles the following oases of content in the otherwise barren landscape of mid-February: --Spencer comes back from vacation to realize that the LSU football program does actually have a very thin chance of not happening next year due to Louisiana's budget stupidities --A discussion of which coach has the most hidden debt (hint: the answer is based exclusively on a coach's sweatiness) --A nightmarish proposal to mash certain fanbases and schools together into one horrible misbegotten beast-nation --Which football coach is the Tom Crean of this sport? There's a lot of Tom Crean discussion in here, and man oh man is that fun --The ultimate plan to survive coaching sixteen games in the NFL without any experience of any sort. Ryan thinks he could go 6-10 with the Dolphins! We do not.

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After a week off, the Fullcast returns with a review of Signing Day, the most important day in the college football calendar that no one really wants to discuss. WELL TOO BAD BECAUSE WE ARE DISCUSSING IT.

Joining us is SB Nation Recruiting Overlord Bud Elliott. We discuss the following:

--Why bachelor parties are overrated, and how even Tampa's strip clubs have some of the dumbest Florida-style business arrangements imaginable

--How Alabama did well again guhhhh go away Alabama

--The perils of bringing your school's equipment truck to a Georgia high school

--Did you know Texas did well? Texas did well! A good foundation for an upstart program just trying to establish its name, that.

--FLORIDA SIGNED A DOOLY COUNTY PROSPECT NAMED ANTONIUS. This is all perfect .

--We just up and ask Bud if Ole Miss is "cheating" any more than anyone else, because that's the coded conversation everyone's having anyway

--Reader questions, including a discussion of the Great Florida Python Challenge.

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After a week off, the Fullcast returns with a review of Signing Day, the most important day in the college football calendar that no one really wants to discuss. WELL TOO BAD BECAUSE WE ARE DISCUSSING IT. Joining us is SB Nation Recruiting Overlord Bud Elliott. We discuss the following: --Why bachelor parties are overrated, and how even Tampa's strip clubs have some of the dumbest Florida-style business arrangements imaginable --How Alabama did well again guhhhh go away Alabama --The perils of bringing your school's equipment truck to a Georgia high school --Did you know Texas did well? Texas did well! A good foundation for an upstart program just trying to establish its name, that. --FLORIDA SIGNED A DOOLY COUNTY PROSPECT NAMED ANTONIUS. This is all perfect . --We just up and ask Bud if Ole Miss is "cheating" any more than anyone else, because that's the coded conversation everyone's having anyway --Reader questions, including a discussion of the Great Florida Python Challenge.

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The Super Bowl edition of the Shutdown Fullcast covers all the necessary topics for the college fan interested in paying attention to the Super Bowl, but taking only the most disdainful and irrelevant angles on all the action.

We're here for you with these important takes and more:

--The Cam Newton Economy, or how everyone owes Cam Newton a share of the immense amount of money Cam Newton has made for everyone. This is a serious statement: Cam Newton is his own economy and has made so, so many people money.

--A pitch for "Taken" starring Charlie Weis

--A diversion into how bad Phil Simms is as a broadcaster that somehow ends up being a discussion of what a complete trainwreck of a broadcaster Mack Brown can be

--Praise for Jim Nantz? Yes, praise for the King of Khaki

--The best fights we've seen at football games in person, including the best real-life Rocky 2 fight ever

--The sports announcing teams we want calling our love lives

--You want discussions of Wario's family history? Of course you do, so we give them to you.

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The Super Bowl edition of the Shutdown Fullcast covers all the necessary topics for the college fan interested in paying attention to the Super Bowl, but taking only the most disdainful and irrelevant angles on all the action. We're here for you with these important takes and more: --The Cam Newton Economy, or how everyone owes Cam Newton a share of the immense amount of money Cam Newton has made for everyone. This is a serious statement: Cam Newton is his own economy and has made so, so many people money. --A pitch for "Taken" starring Charlie Weis --A diversion into how bad Phil Simms is as a broadcaster that somehow ends up being a discussion of what a complete trainwreck of a broadcaster Mack Brown can be --Praise for Jim Nantz? Yes, praise for the King of Khaki --The best fights we've seen at football games in person, including the best real-life Rocky 2 fight ever --The sports announcing teams we want calling our love lives --You want discussions of Wario's family history? Of course you do, so we give them to you.

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The first episode of the FOURTH (fourth!) season of the Shutdown Fullcast begins with a discussion about Dolly Parton, and then pretty much flies downhill from there (because all things are downhill from the greatness of Dolly Parton.)

Topics include:

--Dolly, and all the things she's done for you

--Phoenix's perfect okayness as a host city for football, and Tampa's definite dismalness as a host city for football

--We have no offseason plans! Besides not reading Dad Fiction (we're totally reading Dad Fiction this offseason) and starting a business for "Moms Who Like Wine"

--Reader questions, including a discussion of what disrespected teams will be most disrespectedly disrespected before the season even starts

--Some lengthy discussion of The Revenant, which Jason and Spencer agree is just "fine" and is filled with "really disgusting things"

--The worst fast food restaurants that are actually so bad you would not eat at them despite your predilection for bad fast food

--More lengthy discussion, this time of things where your critical compass is completely off from everyone else's

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The first episode of the FOURTH (fourth!) season of the Shutdown Fullcast begins with a discussion about Dolly Parton, and then pretty much flies downhill from there (because all things are downhill from the greatness of Dolly Parton.) Topics include: --Dolly, and all the things she's done for you --Phoenix's perfect okayness as a host city for football, and Tampa's definite dismalness as a host city for football --We have no offseason plans! Besides not reading Dad Fiction (we're totally reading Dad Fiction this offseason) and starting a business for "Moms Who Like Wine" --Reader questions, including a discussion of what disrespected teams will be most disrespectedly disrespected before the season even starts --Some lengthy discussion of The Revenant, which Jason and Spencer agree is just "fine" and is filled with "really disgusting things" --The worst fast food restaurants that are actually so bad you would not eat at them despite your predilection for bad fast food --More lengthy discussion, this time of things where your critical compass is completely off from everyone else's

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SHUTDOWN FULLCAST IS LIVE! (Or was.) We met up in Arizona to talk all things National Championship and a bunch of things that are entirely unrelated, including: - why you should care about who wins the title - the Sims and what they teach us about life - i forget, probably a third thing

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SHUTDOWN FULLCAST IS LIVE! (Or was.) We met up in Arizona to talk all things National Championship and a bunch of things that are entirely unrelated, including: - why you should care about who wins the title - the Sims and what they teach us about life - i forget, probably a third thing

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The last of the non-championship bowls, the wee baby second cousin twice-removed of them all, the Beef O'Brady's Bowl combines the best of all worlds into one sorely overlooked gem of a contest.

For instance:

--Illinois versus Syracuse!

--Remember when Syracuse and Virginia played a triple overtime game? No you don't. You are a liar. Stop talking.

--How this is proof officials should be able to step in and decline the option of overtime for a game, and simply declare a winner and let everyone come home

--A reminder that Illinois had all the time in the world to pick a coach and still ended up with their interim coach

--A return of the Beef O'Brady's Menu Challenge, including the immortal Corned Beef Wonton

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The last of the non-championship bowls, the wee baby second cousin twice-removed of them all, the Beef O'Brady's Bowl combines the best of all worlds into one sorely overlooked gem of a contest. For instance: --Illinois versus Syracuse! --Remember when Syracuse and Virginia played a triple overtime game? No you don't. You are a liar. Stop talking. --How this is proof officials should be able to step in and decline the option of overtime for a game, and simply declare a winner and let everyone come home --A reminder that Illinois had all the time in the world to pick a coach and still ended up with their interim coach --A return of the Beef O'Brady's Menu Challenge, including the immortal Corned Beef Wonton

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Congratulations! You have now reached the end of the Shutdown Fullcast 40 for 40. Enjoy these previews of the Taxslayer, Liberty, Alamo, and Cactus games -- we'll have a preview of the national title at some point and a special bonus bowl preview coming soon.

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Congratulations! You have now reached the end of the Shutdown Fullcast 40 for 40. Enjoy these previews of the Taxslayer, Liberty, Alamo, and Cactus games -- we'll have a preview of the national title at some point and a special bonus bowl preview coming soon.

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Congratulations! You have now reached the end of the Shutdown Fullcast 40 for 40. Enjoy these previews of the Taxslayer, Liberty, Alamo, and Cactus games -- we'll have a preview of the national title at some point and a special bonus bowl preview coming soon.

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Congratulations! You have now reached the end of the Shutdown Fullcast 40 for 40. Enjoy these previews of the Taxslayer, Liberty, Alamo, and Cactus games -- we'll have a preview of the national title at some point and a special bonus bowl preview coming soon.

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Whether you're getting ready to say goodbye to 2015 or you've already welcomed 2016, the Shutdown Fullcast previews of all five January 1st games are perfect for making you realize you have terrible priorities in life!

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Whether you're getting ready to say goodbye to 2015 or you've already welcomed 2016, the Shutdown Fullcast previews of all five January 1st games are perfect for making you realize you have terrible priorities in life!

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Whether you're getting ready to say goodbye to 2015 or you've already welcomed 2016, the Shutdown Fullcast previews of all five January 1st games are perfect for making you realize you have terrible priorities in life!

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Whether you're getting ready to say goodbye to 2015 or you've already welcomed 2016, the Shutdown Fullcast previews of all five January 1st games are perfect for making you realize you have terrible priorities in life!

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Whether you're getting ready to say goodbye to 2015 or you've already welcomed 2016, the Shutdown Fullcast previews of all five January 1st games are perfect for making you realize you have terrible priorities in life!

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Whether you're getting ready to say goodbye to 2015 or you've already welcomed 2016, the Shutdown Fullcast previews of all five January 1st games are perfect for making you realize you have terrible priorities in life!

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Congratulations! You have now reached the end of the Shutdown Fullcast 40 for 40. Enjoy these previews of the Taxslayer, Liberty, Alamo, and Cactus games -- we'll have a preview of the national title at some point and a special bonus bowl preview coming soon.

View Details

Congratulations! You have now reached the end of the Shutdown Fullcast 40 for 40. Enjoy these previews of the Taxslayer, Liberty, Alamo, and Cactus games -- we'll have a preview of the national title at some point and a special bonus bowl preview coming soon.

View Details

Congratulations! You have now reached the end of the Shutdown Fullcast 40 for 40. Enjoy these previews of the Taxslayer, Liberty, Alamo, and Cactus games -- we'll have a preview of the national title at some point and a special bonus bowl preview coming soon.

View Details

Whether you're getting ready to say goodbye to 2015 or you've already welcomed 2016, the Shutdown Fullcast previews of all five January 1st games are perfect for making you realize you have terrible priorities in life!

View Details

Congratulations! You have now reached the end of the Shutdown Fullcast 40 for 40. Enjoy these previews of the Taxslayer, Liberty, Alamo, and Cactus games -- we'll have a preview of the national title at some point and a special bonus bowl preview coming soon.

View Details

Whether you're getting ready to say goodbye to 2015 or you've already welcomed 2016, the Shutdown Fullcast previews of all five January 1st games are perfect for making you realize you have terrible priorities in life!

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Whether you're getting ready to say goodbye to 2015 or you've already welcomed 2016, the Shutdown Fullcast previews of all five January 1st games are perfect for making you realize you have terrible priorities in life!

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The Shutdown Fullcast bowl preview series tackles the second national semifinal, and topics include:

Mark Dantonio, the best and only coach in CFB who might get a pro job
A comparison of Ole Miss to soccer
Can you name the Michigan State QB who beat Ohio State?
Jake Coker is better than ___ (it's not a real long list)

But there's no mention of Joker Phillips this time, which is an improvement!

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How does this Orange Bowl preview wind up talking about Joker Phillips and his Kentucky tenure? You'll have to listen to find out, because we also talk about Vanderbilt! It's almost like we have no idea what we're doing and are bad at our jobs.

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The Shutdown Fullcast bowl preview series tackles the second national semifinal, and topics include: - Mark Dantonio, the best and only coach in CFB who might get a pro job - A comparison of Ole Miss to soccer - Can you name the Michigan State QB who beat Ohio State? - Jake Coker is better than ___ (it's not a real long list) But there's no mention of Joker Phillips this time, which is an improvement!

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How does this Orange Bowl preview wind up talking about Joker Phillips and his Kentucky tenure? You'll have to listen to find out, because we also talk about Vanderbilt! It's almost like we have no idea what we're doing and are bad at our jobs.

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It's the 40 For 40 you've been waiting for - the Peach Bowl Preview, where we predict Houston vs. FSU by talking about:

Paul Johnson
Neck Tattoos
Waffle House
Terry Schiavo

You're welcome!

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New Year's Eve is almost upon us, but before it is there are four more bowl games of importance levels ranging from "hey how's it going over there Kevin Sumlin" to "the Birmingham Bowl is on at noon to hide Auburn's deep shame." We preview them all, just for you.

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New Year's Eve is almost upon us, but before it is there are four more bowl games of importance levels ranging from "hey how's it going over there Kevin Sumlin" to "the Birmingham Bowl is on at noon to hide Auburn's deep shame." We preview them all, just for you.

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New Year's Eve is almost upon us, but before it is there are four more bowl games of importance levels ranging from "hey how's it going over there Kevin Sumlin" to "the Birmingham Bowl is on at noon to hide Auburn's deep shame." We preview them all, just for you.

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New Year's Eve is almost upon us, but before it is there are four more bowl games of importance levels ranging from "hey how's it going over there Kevin Sumlin" to "the Birmingham Bowl is on at noon to hide Auburn's deep shame." We preview them all, just for you.

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It's the 40 For 40 you've been waiting for - the Peach Bowl Preview, where we predict Houston vs. FSU by talking about: - Paul Johnson - Neck Tattoos - Waffle House - Terry Schiavo You're welcome!

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New Year's Eve is almost upon us, but before it is there are four more bowl games of importance levels ranging from "hey how's it going over there Kevin Sumlin" to "the Birmingham Bowl is on at noon to hide Auburn's deep shame." We preview them all, just for you.

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New Year's Eve is almost upon us, but before it is there are four more bowl games of importance levels ranging from "hey how's it going over there Kevin Sumlin" to "the Birmingham Bowl is on at noon to hide Auburn's deep shame." We preview them all, just for you.

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New Year's Eve is almost upon us, but before it is there are four more bowl games of importance levels ranging from "hey how's it going over there Kevin Sumlin" to "the Birmingham Bowl is on at noon to hide Auburn's deep shame." We preview them all, just for you.

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New Year's Eve is almost upon us, but before it is there are four more bowl games of importance levels ranging from "hey how's it going over there Kevin Sumlin" to "the Birmingham Bowl is on at noon to hide Auburn's deep shame." We preview them all, just for you.

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Shutdown Fullcast's foolhardy and wholly unnecessary quest to preview each and every bowl in the 2015 postseason marches on as we tackle the games of December 28th and 29th, AKA The You're Back At Work But Nobody Expects Much Out Of You set. Should you be expecting any of these episodes to include meaningful analysis of the teams playing in these bowls, well, good on you for having hope!

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Shutdown Fullcast's foolhardy and wholly unnecessary quest to preview each and every bowl in the 2015 postseason marches on as we tackle the games of December 28th and 29th, AKA The You're Back At Work But Nobody Expects Much Out Of You set. Should you be expecting any of these episodes to include meaningful analysis of the teams playing in these bowls, well, good on you for having hope!

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Shutdown Fullcast's foolhardy and wholly unnecessary quest to preview each and every bowl in the 2015 postseason marches on as we tackle the games of December 28th and 29th, AKA The You're Back At Work But Nobody Expects Much Out Of You set. Should you be expecting any of these episodes to include meaningful analysis of the teams playing in these bowls, well, good on you for having hope!

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Shutdown Fullcast's foolhardy and wholly unnecessary quest to preview each and every bowl in the 2015 postseason marches on as we tackle the games of December 28th and 29th, AKA The You're Back At Work But Nobody Expects Much Out Of You set. Should you be expecting any of these episodes to include meaningful analysis of the teams playing in these bowls, well, good on you for having hope!

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Shutdown Fullcast's foolhardy and wholly unnecessary quest to preview each and every bowl in the 2015 postseason marches on as we tackle the games of December 28th and 29th, AKA The You're Back At Work But Nobody Expects Much Out Of You set. Should you be expecting any of these episodes to include meaningful analysis of the teams playing in these bowls, well, good on you for having hope!

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Shutdown Fullcast's foolhardy and wholly unnecessary quest to preview each and every bowl in the 2015 postseason marches on as we tackle the games of December 28th and 29th, AKA The You're Back At Work But Nobody Expects Much Out Of You set. Should you be expecting any of these episodes to include meaningful analysis of the teams playing in these bowls, well, good on you for having hope!

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Shutdown Fullcast's foolhardy and wholly unnecessary quest to preview each and every bowl in the 2015 postseason marches on as we tackle the games of December 28th and 29th, AKA The You're Back At Work But Nobody Expects Much Out Of You set. Should you be expecting any of these episodes to include meaningful analysis of the teams playing in these bowls, well, good on you for having hope!

View Details

Shutdown Fullcast's foolhardy and wholly unnecessary quest to preview each and every bowl in the 2015 postseason marches on as we tackle the games of December 28th and 29th, AKA The You're Back At Work But Nobody Expects Much Out Of You set. Should you be expecting any of these episodes to include meaningful analysis of the teams playing in these bowls, well, good on you for having hope!

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Shutdown Fullcast's foolhardy and wholly unnecessary quest to preview each and every bowl in the 2015 postseason marches on as we tackle the games of December 28th and 29th, AKA The You're Back At Work But Nobody Expects Much Out Of You set. Should you be expecting any of these episodes to include meaningful analysis of the teams playing in these bowls, well, good on you for having hope!

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Shutdown Fullcast's foolhardy and wholly unnecessary quest to preview each and every bowl in the 2015 postseason marches on as we tackle the games of December 28th and 29th, AKA The You're Back At Work But Nobody Expects Much Out Of You set. Should you be expecting any of these episodes to include meaningful analysis of the teams playing in these bowls, well, good on you for having hope!

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Shutdown Fullcast's foolhardy and wholly unnecessary quest to preview each and every bowl in the 2015 postseason marches on as we tackle the games of December 28th and 29th, AKA The You're Back At Work But Nobody Expects Much Out Of You set. Should you be expecting any of these episodes to include meaningful analysis of the teams playing in these bowls, well, good on you for having hope!

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MERRY CHRISTMAS! We waited until the last minute and got you previews for: - The St. Pete No Sponsor Present Bowl - The Sun Bowl Featuring Mike Leach - The Zaxby's Heart of Dallaz Bowl - The Pinstripe '87 Hoops Classic Bowl - The Foster Farms Bowl Presented By Professor Bo Pelini And we threw away the receipt, though we weren't offering you store credit anyways. Sorry.

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MERRY CHRISTMAS! We waited until the last minute and got you previews for: - The St. Pete No Sponsor Present Bowl - The Sun Bowl Featuring Mike Leach - The Zaxby's Heart of Dallaz Bowl - The Pinstripe '87 Hoops Classic Bowl - The Foster Farms Bowl Presented By Professor Bo Pelini And we threw away the receipt, though we weren't offering you store credit anyways. Sorry.

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MERRY CHRISTMAS! We waited until the last minute and got you previews for: - The St. Pete No Sponsor Present Bowl - The Sun Bowl Featuring Mike Leach - The Zaxby's Heart of Dallaz Bowl - The Pinstripe '87 Hoops Classic Bowl - The Foster Farms Bowl Presented By Professor Bo Pelini And we threw away the receipt, though we weren't offering you store credit anyways. Sorry.

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MERRY CHRISTMAS! We waited until the last minute and got you previews for: - The St. Pete No Sponsor Present Bowl - The Sun Bowl Featuring Mike Leach - The Zaxby's Heart of Dallaz Bowl - The Pinstripe '87 Hoops Classic Bowl - The Foster Farms Bowl Presented By Professor Bo Pelini And we threw away the receipt, though we weren't offering you store credit anyways. Sorry.

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MERRY CHRISTMAS! We waited until the last minute and got you previews for: - The St. Pete No Sponsor Present Bowl - The Sun Bowl Featuring Mike Leach - The Zaxby's Heart of Dallaz Bowl - The Pinstripe '87 Hoops Classic Bowl - The Foster Farms Bowl Presented By Professor Bo Pelini And we threw away the receipt, though we weren't offering you store credit anyways. Sorry.

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The Hawaii Bowl holds a unique standing amongst all bowl games in being the bowl game so inconveniently scheduled that not even diehards watch it. They do, however, discuss it only in the most superficial terms on a hastily recorded podcast recorded three days before Christmas. Topics for the good and very bad: --An intro about misophonia, or the inability to hear the sounds of someone eating or drinking without slapping the shit out of the person eating or drinking --A full disclosure about how no one has ever watched a full Hawaii Bowl, ever --A list of ways one can get out of sitting through an entire Christmas service as a child --Remember how Notre Dame won their only bowl game of the Charlie Weis era in this bowl game? We do! --Holly drinks a goddamn milkshake through the first minute or two of this podcast and it almost breaks Spencer mentally

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THE NEW GRANDADDY OF THEM ALL: THE POPEYES BOWL. None greater, and not just because insane person P.J. Fleck is coaching shirtless in it this year. Topic menu (now available in spicy or regular): --P.J. Fleck is in this bowl game, a.k.a. "actual live crazy person P.J. Fleck" --How P.J. Fleck might bring a shark to this bowl game, which is terrifyingly plausible if you know him --The time P.J. Fleck gave Holly an autographed oar, and a review of the "Fleck-sicon" --Middle Tennessee is in the game, and that's about as much as we'd like to say about MTSU besides "That's probably where 70% of the weed in Tennessee comes from" --A reminder to all Northwestern journalism students that I will find you, and I will send you to the Popeyes Bowl

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The Poinsettia Bowl! It's mostly a series of attempts to find one interesting thing to say about Boise State's 2015 season. This ends in failure, because there is very little to say about them besides "huh, they went 8-4 and lost to teams they should never lose to." Nevertheless, the following topics are covered: --A bowl trip for Boise State that's a bit below their usual station in life, something that happens when you lose to New Mexico --A reminder that Illinois is the most miserable state in the union, even if you happen to be in the northern part of it --An argument that this is the Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever of bowl games, and Holly quietly reminding Spencer that he is very old --"There are lots of bowls where people kiss unfairly caged sea mammals"

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The Famous Idaho Potato Bowl! Featuring Akron and Utah State! Topics include: --an introduction of the people on this podcast --a resolution not to discuss the bowl game --Holly yelling about chives

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--a profile of the ideal most brawl-prone college football player imaginable --a review of Miami stories, including the time Holly almost ran over a group of despondent Notre Dame fans, and also the time a couple of guys left a shark on the train --the revelation that Hulk Hogan was, at one point, a quiet English student in Tampa --Western Kentucky is a Tennessee state school, because Volunteers are bad at maps --How an 11-2 Western Kentucky team fell down to this bowl game --A list of ticket prices for this game equalling something like money laundering, which is totally what this game is

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The podcast for the New Orleans Bowl is up appropriately late! Topics covered include: --How this might be a better game than anything the Saints have put out there this year --An examination of the Crossfit life cycle, and it's like "Batman Begins, The Fitness Program" --Skip Holtz facts! --A full minute where I, Spencer Hall, completely confuse the two teams' schedules and read Louisiana Tech's schedule as Arkansas State's schedule --"We're not talking about that" <----Jeff Driskel, successful QB --The best ending to any podcast ever!

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The Cure Bowl may have the highest "validate your existence" quotient of any bowl game on the calendar-- like, at least the Bahamas Bowl is a tropical anomaly sponsored by the greatest fried chicken joint in the world-- but there's positives to mention. Like: --The preponderance of chain restaurants for those who find that kind of thing comforting (like you, stop lying, we saw you eating at Chili's the other day and it was DELICIOUS) --It's where Georgia State, once dead in the water with a 2-6 record, suddenly flew off the mat like the Big Boss himself and reclaimed not only a legit bowl berth, but beat the daylights out of Georgia Southern IN Statesboro --It's also where San Jose State is, and they're real happy to just be there thanks to good grades and not their 5-7 record. --It's a city so fabulous it caused me to get an entire team's schedule wrong!

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The Camellia Bowl! The greatest bowl game in the history of Montgomery, Alabama reveals itself to be a cave of wonders as we discuss: --The wide array of recreational activities for a young man living in Montgomery, Alabama (a: chicken wings and bootleg movies) --The glamorous attire of Appalachian State R.A.s on the first day of a young student's career --Remember the time one of these coaches might have been given rohypnol at a bar? That might have happened. --What the most expensive ticket for the Camellia Bowl is going for on Stubhub right now --A line of thinking that ends with the phrase "You're like a dreamcatcher for economic downturn"

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The second installment of our 40 for 40 series covers the Las Vegas bowl, featuring: --Holly attempting to guess which two teams are in the bowl --Holly becoming horrified when she realizes this bowl game is just "The Holy War: DVD Extras" --A brief attempt to discuss the teams involved in the game, and how similar they are in some respects --That brief attempt getting derailed by Ryan's mystery character, who is definitely not a drug-addicted Transformer in bad need of a fix

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OH IT'S THE STAR WARS EPISODE. None of this podcast is Star Wars, or at least not anything past the first ten minutes, where we kind of joke around with doing a Star Wars episode, do it for a minute, and then hit the eject button when it clearly starts getting out of hand. Topics we did not eject from: --How Jason actually did watch all the Star Wars movies all the way through for the first time recently, and how Han Solo is really the center of the entire series, and WE SWEAR THAT'S ALL THE STAR WARS TALK WE DO --Okay there's a brief diversion into the Rancor getting out of his abusive relationship and going on some "Eat Pray Love" soul-searching --Bob Davie is coaching a team in a bowl game in New Mexico! What more could one ask of football, or indeed of life itself? --An examination of exactly what "Royal Purple" is --Why do they have a bowl game in Montgomery, ever, at all, for any reason? --Please welcome the "Shreveport Missing Persons Bowl" to the season's rotation --How the NOLA Bowl is really just the affordable, charming, and just-as-good lunch version of the Sugar Bowl for the savvy shopper --Did you know there's a bowl game at 2:30 p.m. on Monday? And that if you watch it, it's official proof you don't give a fuck about your job, and should quit? --Which bowl games have the best setup for creating two extremely hungover teams playing football? Besides the Sun Bowl, of course.

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A bloated 77 minute Fullcast is quite a bit to drop on you all at once, but everyone hired and fired a coach AND the championship weekend happened and we have to talk about all of it. ALL OF IT, WE SAY. --SOMEONE HIRED WILL MUSCHAMP --Another installment of "Spencer Hall's Butt Lists" --A lengthy examination of how everyone hired in the SEC East is boring and predictable and formulaic and boring and yes we said boring twice --An equally lengthy examination of how somehow out of nowhere the ACC did nothing but make good hires, including somehow pulling Bronco Mendenhall out of Utah and Dino Babers away from Bowling Green --A breeze through the conference championship games, where every single conference played its prescribed role to the hilt --ACC PUNTER ATTACK --Jason's concluding appreciation of the greatest game of the weekend: Baylor trying to make up an entirely new offense live on the field against Texas while using only their fourth string quarterback who was really not the quarterback.

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The final regular season preview episode of the Shutdown Fullcast is an emotional one, especially when Ryan starts talking about the tragedy of putting tomatoes in the refrigerator. Topics include: --The Playoff rankings, and the discussion of every single scenario possible that might turn this otherwise clear national title setup into a complete trash-heap --One of those is Florida winning! A thing that cannot happen! --Reader questions, including the aforementioned passionate plea on behalf of tomato protectors everywhere, a refusal to read any questions not sent in by a woman, a protracted battle against the registered sexhavers of Twitter, and why Roomba would be better out of the backfield than easily half of the running backs in the nation. --A truncated look at the week to come, and vigorous debate about the most racist and patriotic of the championship games.

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OMG SO MUCH TO DISCUSS ABOUT THE FINAL WEEK IN COLLEGE FOOTBALL LIKE: --how to replace your pastor after a decade or more of being merely really good --The ins and outs of a coaching coup in Louisiana that was a plan all along only if you enjoy people trying to cover their tracks after completely fucking everything up along the way --The madness of Ole Miss, or why Hugh Freeze picks his losses and victories really well --Every college football job is open --The joy of FSU fans being completely unaware of their surroundings at all times --How you can write off all rivalry week results with confidence as long as you didn't actually lose --A horrifying analogy by Jason ending up with someone shining a nude statue of a former Big Ten coach

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The early Thanksgiving edition of the RIVALRY WEEK AARRRGGGH RIVALRY WEEK Shutdown Fullcast arrives to the dinner without a dish, alcohol, or anything but a smile. Did you invite the Shutdown Fullcast here naked and without a thing to contribute to your holiday? No, but it's here anyway. Please get it a towel while it discusses all of the following and more: --Ryan introduces his mixtape "Buyout Season 2: the Leveraging" --We make guesses on Monday night about things that will happen for the rest of the week, including Florida State hiring Les Miles, Maryland reconsidering and giving love a second punt's chance, and Les Miles joining John Calipari in making Kentucky the most feared state in college athletics. --Jim McElwain continuing Florida's tradition of hiring clergymen as head coach --Our Iron Bowl preview, which is really just us saying "Mobile is the best city in Alabama," and proposing its new motto "Mobile: There's alcohol there, and you can drink it." --Our Ohio State/Michigan preview, which is really just us saying "This is a 10-10 game we are going to celebrate for its elephantine mass and pace" --A digression where Texas becomes Slippy from Starfox --A proposal for Tinder, but with coaches --A conclusion about the Big 12 fixing absolutely nothing, ever!

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A truly chaotic week in college football yields intense discussion of the following between Spencer, Ryan, and Jason: --We start by telling you there will only be one installment of the Fullcast this week! This is a lie, we decided after the show to make another for preview purposes. PLAYFAKES EVERYWHERE IN THIS OFFENSE. --Why Ohio State looked so, so bad in their loss to Michigan State (answer: we don't know either, it's not an answer but it's honest) --How Iowa State has higher standards than Texas? Sure. --The most nightmarish edition of Satan's Coaching Dominoes we have played yet in the year 2015 --Why future Trump voters were beating the hides off each other in the stands in Fayetteville over Mississippi State/Arkansas --A brief examination of the insanity and faint threads of logic behind a possible ouster of Les Miles at LSU that only involves a few mentions of money laundering --The last line of this episode is: "DINOSAURS ATE ROCKS, AND THEY WERE FUCKIN' AWESOME." You'll have to get there to find out how much sense it makes. (None, and yet all of it at once.)

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The Shutdown Fullcast preview edition takes more than a few detours before it discusses the week ahead, including: --A deep look into the tensions that destroyed the Blue Collar Comedy Tour --Why the reported possiblity of Charlie Strong leaving Texas for Miami could unleash the final Nick Saban plotline we've been waiting for for three long years --A celebration of the return of our favorite Bob Stoops: SASSY STOOPS. --How throwing a headset in real life really is as satisfying as it looks --Reader questions, or the part where Ryan openly stumps for Mariah Carey as the next coach of the Miami Hurricanes --A look at the week ahead, including a long Mike Leach diatribe about Cartesian thought and how sure, he'll always play a game at 10:45 pm at night if you want him to.

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Spencer declares this the best week of the college football season thus far and admires the ability of Arkansas to maintain the exact same level all year while others rise and fall. Jason channels Mike Leach to tell you how trees with lips cannot be trusted and says nice things about Syracuse. Ryan says some dumb shit about Checkers and Scott Storch. Oh, and we also discuss USC's new coach. He's a veteran who knows how to win at all levels!

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Shutdown Fullcast reviews the second week of Playoff Rankings and previews the week to come using a low bid system. It works for the government, so. - The Smooth 'n Sexy Playoff Committee follows up last year's smash hit "Game Control" with their new slow jam, "Body Clock" - Should Kansas be a playoff team, considering how many wins their opponents have? - Jeff Long loves every movie and will give it a glowing review! - LSU-Arkansas is renamed the Layaway Bowl - Who told you Mark Stoops killed his neighbor? That's certainly not true, nor is it relevant to Kentucky basketball.

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This week's review podcast didn't record the part where we discussed Bret Bielema wearing only a windbreaker and a smile, but that was for your own protection. Trust us. It damaged us all enough on its own. Topics covered include: --Bama. Ughhhhhhh, Bama. --Oklahoma State's statistically improbable but very factual whoopin' of TCU, and how Texas could ruin Oklahoma's entire season twice by tanking the rest of the season JUST TO FUCK WITH THE SOONERS. --How Clemson chipped away at Florida State with a butter knife --Five sentences or less about Vanderbilt/Florida --The only discussion in the world where the majority of people involved believe the Michigan State/Nebraska game ended on the correct call. (Also: Old people evidently like touchdowns now.) --Ryan singing "Snoop hoggy HAWWWWG OOOOH AAAH AAAH AWWWG" to the horror and delight of dozens of listeners in recounting the wild end of the Ole Miss/Arkansas OT game.

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The preview edition of the Fullcast may have gotten mad at EXTREMELY SERIOUS Iowa fans? And might have told them to eat an extremely unclean part of the Fullcast's body? That may have happened, in addition to these other topics of great interest for the upcoming weekend of college football. --Why you should go out and get into a fight with a random stranger over the first set of college football playoff rankings. --Reader questionl, including Jason absolutely nailing the coach who currently looks (and acts) most like their team's mascot. --A look ate the week ahead, including all of us realizing that after Florida State comes to town Clemson gets an easy toboggan ride into the ACC Conference Championship game where they will definitely have to play "another football team."

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WEEKEND REVIEW AND FRANK BEAMER APPRECIATION EPISODE. Oh hell yes, what you wanted in the Fullcast was even more wandering and discussion of that time Frank Beamer's kin shot up a courthouse. Topics (besides courthouse shootings) include: --That thing that happened in Duke/Miami, and why you could not pay any of us enough money to deal with any of that mess ever --Hey, remember when Minnesota shifted eight times and had three players in motion during a clock play against Michigan? That happened, too. --Oh, another thing that happened: the time Georgia got bored and made their quarterbacks all do things they weren't good at --Georgia lost. To Florida. We talk about that for a while, because we can. Because Georgia lost 27-3 to Florida and made their second-string quarterback their punter. (He was pretty good! But still!) --No really Georgia made their running quarterback throw 33 times in his first start and only rushed him four times. --An appreciation of Frank Beamer, the only person who could make you think a 12-10 ACC game was cool and worth watching

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The midweek Fullcast accomplishes all the following in the mere breezy tiny span of 55 minutes: --Listing all the things that DEFINITELY CAN'T HAPPEN after we said on the last podcast that there was little chance Miami would fire him this week. Mark Dantonio's never going anywhere, South Carolina! --A discussion as to whether Al Golden has been abducted by shadowy South Florida henchmen --Reader questions, including a review of the worst possible NFL coaches who could end up taking the USC job. Look, we made Bill Belichick try to recruit college football players! And put Sean Payton on a college campus with no supervision! Amazing hypothetical things happened, hypothetically! --Georgia/Florida is this week! Please don't make us talk about it! --A look at the week ahead, including us saying nice things about Pitt for like, at least five minutes.

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The quick reaction edition of the Shutdown Fullcast was made obsolete just an hour after it was recorded thanks to the firing of Al Golden at Miami. We publish nevertheless, with reactions and hearty guffawing at the idea of how good Al Golden's hair looked at even the lowest points of his Miami tenure. Topics include: --The aforementioned assbeating of Miami at home, and yes how great Al Golden seemed to look the whole time despite that. --Did you see Florida State lost? YOU SHOULD PROBABLY LISTEN TO HOW BAD FLORIDA STATE LOST. --A discussion of how optimistic Tennessee fans could and should be despite losing to Alabama again. --A quick review of how bad USC whooped up on Utah, and why this undoubtedly means USC loses next week because the Pac-12 is full of gremlins and everyone must lose a fight to at least two of them in a full season.

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Back in full after an abbreviated week, the Shutdown Fullcast returns with 65 minutes of pure fury. There's also us talking about Drake, but sure, there's fury in there, too. Topics covered include: --"Hotline Bling," or why Drake sounds like a dude who just wants you to stay inside his house forever, preferably in the basement where you can live in the house he built just for you down there, girl --A lengthy discussion of the season so far, including all the people and teams we're very disappointed with or pleasantly surprised by (HIIIIIIIII AUBURN) --Reader mail, including a promise that if you owe more than $250,000 in student debt, the Shutdown Fullcast staf will send you one American dollar and four cookies in the US Mail. --An unfortunate exit on a note about duck penises

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The Fullcast lives! A day late, sure, but still up despite travel and meetings and other tedious adult necessities. We sound really good via using actual studio mikes in NYC! And keep timers because we were working on a tight turnaround! Expect neither to happen ever again! Topics: --AAAAHHHHHHHHH SPURRIER COME BACK --AAAAAAAAAAHHH SARK YOU okay don't come back for a while until you figure some shit out --AAAAAAAHHHHHH WHYYYYYY WILL GRIER WHYYYYYY --AAAAAAAHHHHHH okay maybe that's enough AAH-ing this week is real good and gonna BE real good and we talk about that for a bit

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The Shutdown Fullcast talks mostly about the time we cooked food on a redneck shopping cart grill on a fire made from burning furniture stolen from a Haverty's dumpster. This may seem odd, but the idea of a dominant victory over a good team by the Florida Gators? So overwhelming to Ryan and I that celebrating Floridian squalor is the only way to reset our expectations and return to something like reality. Topics: --We get immediately to the question: "How shocked are you that Florida was really good for one game?" --A brief recollection of Florida horrors of the past --A warning against pitying Ohio State fans, ever --Why Alabama beat Georgia, and why Ole Miss lost to Florida, and a further discussion of styles making fights --A lengthy discussion of the most Florida moments in our lives! This includes minivans dying at Checkers, falling off of recreational vehicles, and eating roadkill deer with pocketknives. --A review of the coming weekend, where Jason insists he doesn't hate Cal, Ryan and I are certain we're losing to Mizzou after a great Ole Miss game, and how we all know LSU is gonna make the playoff with three losses.

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The Fullcast mostly makes fun of Texas this week, but covers a few other topics with this week's guest, Georgia fan and NPR host connoisseur Doug Gilett (aka @captainannoying.) --A quick audit of NPR hosts and the services they have to provide to you because they are technically your employee --An answer to the immortal question "Why is Big Boi wearing nothing but Mets gear in the 'Rosa Parks' video?" --Discussion of how in three days New York City will invent Chick-Fil-A --An extensive mockery of the Texas Officiating Conspiracy, and a historical recollection of the time Texas kicked the saddest field goal ever kicked --And then, a little more mockery of Texas --Doug defends the idea of Georgia somehow beating Alabama this weekend --A review of the rest of the games coming up this week, including a brief discussion of the "Petrino Family Birthin' Hut" --An ending conversation where Ryan gets groceries delivered to his apartment and also about New York finally getting a Chick-Fil-A, a new fad and trend they invented

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The part where Jason recasts King of the Hill with college football coaches, aka the really funny part.

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The Fullcast is back to do what we do best, which is make fun of a.) Alabama losing, and b.) people from Ohio telling anyone what is good about anything in life. There's also the following topics, each covered with the usual Skype-glitching and happy negligence. --How a loss for Bama ensures their appearance in the playoff --An examination of the great pride people from Ohio can feel about Ohio while living several thousand miles away from Ohio --A brief appreciation of the short happy career of "Cooper Batman" --Why there are things to watch in the fourth week of the season, and how almost none of them are taking place in the SEC --How Gus Johnson is calling the Texas Tech/TCU game and that's perfect because all it requires is loud, indistinct hollerin' --Is Hawaii lost in the Midwest? --AT 51:30 OR SO: Jason Kirk casts King of the Hill as a live-action movie with college football coaches, which is really the kind of question we desperately try to avoid, but in this case works like syrup on bacon on hotcakes on a pile of unmarked bills. BOBBY HILL IS DABO SWINNEY.

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The first completely competitive and interesting weekend of the college football season gets...well, it gets us starting off by talking about a man dying a horrible death in a New York utility tunnel. There is actual football. Points covered include: -- "We gotta shit on Texas, Spencer. Because there is a fresh reason to shit on Texas." -- A proposal about Auburn struggling being a sign they will inevitably end up in the national title game -- How Houston Nutt is orbiting the earth like Felix Baumgartner waiting for that call from a willing school as a signal to drop in and save Arkansas -- More petty swipes at Will Muschamp (cut and paste from every week) -- A painful recounting of the times each of us watched a game that left us so angry we wept blood (except for Jason, who is the Dr. Manhattan of college football) -- Proposed: a campus full of yellow jackets would actually be a deeply uncomfortable place, and a campus of Brutus Buckeyes would be pretty much the same as Ohio State's campus right now -- Why BYU is dirty as hell (and that's just fine) -- Proposed: sponsoring a Shutdown Fullcast bowl game

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Spencer's on the road yet again, so Jason and Ryan talk about: - the aggressive expansion of the Texas League of Offensive Coordinators - what spaceships look most like genitals - creating your own haunted practice field - why Donald Trump should purchase naming rights to Iowa-Iowa State - how Navy is the team of playoff destiny - or maybe it's FIU, remains to be seen BONUS: We open the show by talking with an Alabama fan who talked shit about us on Twitter. That's probably a smart thing we did, right?

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WEEK ONE WEEK ONE WEEK ONE. We get to talk actual football, which is cool, but we also get to talk about --OUR EXTENSIVE BIG TEN PREVIEW (or what a miserable place Ohio is) --Which mountains have songs of hobo sexual misadventure written about them --A scenario where we have PJ Fleck rapping his own version of a Rich Homie Quan song, "Fleck". --Why you can just wheel out a 93 year old Lee Corso onto the Gameday set and we'd be fine with that --The awkward question of whether Jim Harbaugh has a return policy --A review of all the most important games from week one, and also we talk about Alabama/Wisconsin. --The elaborate plot where we get Lane Kiffin in the driver's seat at Alabama through steps that are not at all implausible

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This week's Shutdown Fullcast covers the Big 12, a conference of such astonishing depth and interest we didn't have time to get to reader questions. We'll double down on them next week, but we apologize: Iowa State is JUST that fascinating. Topics covered: --The least coordinated intro to the podcast ever, and an analysis of the Jade Helm defense Texas Tech will use this fall --Rage-inducing sports video games (helllloooooo FIFA) and the time Ryan's friend threw a controller so hard that he flooded his apartment after a controversial MarioKart ending --Why playing in Ames on a Thursday or Friday night is...is fine, actually. --How you should just not watch Texas this year and come back in 2016 --Did Oklahoma fix the wrong side of the ball? (By asking that we're pretty much saying yes, yes they did) --Texas Tech is the most ideologically pure team in the Big 12 --Why TCU will just try to average more points on offense this year than the New York Knicks --WVU, the ruiners of all ruiners (again) --A brief discussion of the way Charlie Weis stole money from another team and left them bereft and more broken than Kansas football usually is

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Surprise Mystery Guest and SB Nation Managing Editor Brian Floyd joins us to preview the Pac-12...for about seven minutes unti his Internet connection fails altogether. So you just get to listen to Jason and Ryan talk rank the South Division, figure out if Cal can get to bowl eligibility so Jason loses a bet, and assign a pizza topping to every school in the conference. It's extremely educational and it counts towards your summer reading assignment.

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This week's entire podcast is devoted to speaking on the SEC, which doesn't really mean we won't talk about things like: --Which SEC fanbase is most/least likely to attack and dismember a robot? --Which team Florida loses to this year from the pair of Tennessee and/or Kentucky? --Following up on that, how losing to your spouse's rival is a delayed kind of rage --Is the SEC going to be relevant in any way besides ruining people's lives in all directions? (A: No!) --How any team can screw any situation up at any time no matter how good a situation you might think it could be in college football (HI WILL MUSCHAMP) --The inevitable mess that someone getting paid over $4 million will get into this year in the SEC West --Why the hell is LSU playing Syracuse on the road? <--not really a question but seriously this is happening and whyyyyy --Which early season loss would be ugliest for the SEC? --What Lane Kiffin will say publicly to get Nick Saban's banishment order --How a war between the SEC East and SEC West would unfold, painted in astonishing detail by Jason, who has clearly thought about this to a degree that frightens all of us a bit

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The Fullcast goes way, way long this week, eclipsing the hour mark mostly because SOMEONE found Chris Berman's IMDB page halfway through the broadcast. (He was in The Program AND Necessary Roughness! He's practically the Jean-Paul Belmondo of '90s football films!) Topics: --Why "Hoosiers" sucks and how George Lucas is going to put CGI Jabba into a remastered "Birth of a Nation" --Why "Rudy" and most other college football movies suck, but also why "Rudy" sucks more than others, mostly. --A diversion into Werner Herzog narrating Syracuse football documentaries --A promise to buy someone a beer if they actually listen to a certain mysterious point in the podcast (which we will honor) --Seriously, you can get two free beers for listening to this whole podcast provided you see us in real life --Things that do not change year to year in college football, like Ohio State being good or our fictional Woody Hayes living in Hell because "Heaven's soft". --A discussion of "which program is the most Jon Bois" (it's Iowa State)

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PURE FOOTBALL EROTICA. That's not an exaggeration, we discuss pure football erotica this week, or at least what we find to be erotic in the game of football. I mean, before that we all talk about BET Uncut returning, but yeah: definitely some football erotica after all the talk about BET Uncut. Get your towels, because it's gonna get steamy! Also the cleaning crew did not come last night and there's some pretty disgusting stuff on these benches. In addition to the following suspiciously football-like topics. --Gus Malzahn suggesting a freshness seal and/or born-on date for SEC teams is a necessary thing --Houston Nutt appearing at Big 12 Media Days either looking for a job or scouting the Mary Kay Convention across the hall --A list of things Art Briles could say out loud and not get prosecuted for --A record total of coach imitations and serial killer references --How Ryan and LaDainian Tomlinson are basically the same person

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Things are totally normal on this week's Shutdown Fullcast as the usual cast of Steven Godfrey, Jason Kirk, and Ryan Nanni, discussing: -- The Big 12's imminent expansion -- The Big 12's imminent collapse -- Living in Orlando: you can do that, apparently? -- How nuclear winter leads to a reborn, hard-as-hell Big 8 -- How that same nuclear winter plays right into Bill Snyder's hands -- Paul Johnson's Intervention/Recruiting -- Godfrey's retirement business plan, Chick-fil-Agnostic -- Canadian legal precedent. Shit, we've completely lost the damn plot.

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This week's edition of the Shutdown Fullcast throws all else to the side to discuss the time Sean "Puff Daddy" Combs allegedly got into a fight with the strength coach at UCLA and threw a kettlebell at him. You need nothing more. Topics: --Where Puff Daddy now stands among Rappers What Do Fightin' --A description of a man that includes "his legs look like Kevin Smith's pants" --Why you don't ever fight the best recruiter on a football staff --Is George O'Leary the worst choice for AD ever? (A: probably not) --Why DMX deserves his own Planet Fitness, and also a hug --Steve Spurrier singing "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" at 41:00 --A discussion of how enjoyable it is to see senior citizens knocked out by t-shirt guns in Florida

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This week's edition of the Shutdown Fullcast gets right down to business by discussing realignment five years on, the least bad ways to break up with someone in college football, and the other following foolishnesses: --how a lot of people still don't seems to know Mizzou is in the SEC --The Big East's amazing investment strategies in turning 1.4 billion dollars in possible TV money into one hundred million dollars in just eight years --Texas A&M's move to the SEC has been the second marriage your mom dove into with both feet and zero hesitation --The various ways to dump a coach or player that involve both the most and least amounts of pain --The time Auburn managed to divorce a guy and then date his best friend, aka the Chizik/Malzahn switch --The invention of something called the "No Cuddle Offense" --Reggie Ball fan fiction! (aka giving the people what they want) --A hypothetical marriage between two coaches that results in someone being banned from a Kirk Franklin concert --A Kirk Franklin reference on a college football podcast

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This week's Shutdown Fullcast is not only late, it's recorded on the road with relatively poor audio quality! Obviously you should listen to every terrible second of it. Topics covered: 1. Rivalries updated, i.e. can you make up a rivalry out of thin air? Should you even have rivals? Which rivalries actually matter, and which ones do people even really care about? Why are the most intense rivalries between the most similar types of people? Remember that time South Carolina and Clemson had a head-kicking brawl that cost South Carolina a bowl game? You should probably remember that more often than you do. 2. Is Les Miles sort of doomed at LSU? Beyond the usual ambient level of doom one might associate with LSU? 3. What teams are you really, really unwilling to admit you enjoy watching? And not "oh, it's a guilty pleasure!" level watching, but "oh god please don't let even my wife know I enjoy watching them" kind of shame or discomfort.

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This week's Shutdown Fullcast covers a veritable panoply of important topics including ACTUAL COLLEGE FOOTBALL. The menu includes: --A super important Bobby Bowden imitation which is totally not Foghorn Leghorn --We review the starting quarterbacks for three conferences, and in turn reveal our total ignorance of who's actually starting at any position for any team at this point in the year. --No really, go through the ACC and even try to know what you're talking about after you name "Deshaun Watson." --A discussion of what decade you'd rather live in that results in Ryan saying: "Which is probably why I'm so sexual." --The choosing of which game in 2015 will result in a 0-0 tie going into overtime. (Hi, Alabama/LSU.) --Us calling Iowa/Iowa State "El Assico," which we repeat because that is the proper name for the game and we want everyone to know it.

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The Shutdown Fullcast returns and basically opens the college football season for everyone. Congratulations, everyone: It's May 6th, and football has started. Important topics covered include: --Jameis Winston is now the NFL's great joyous problem and we're sure they'll be fine with it --More hot DRAFTPINIONS [whang] [whoong] [whoosh] [action noises --Many reader questions, including a lengthy discussion of fast food franchises' varying degrees of honesty. (LITTLE CAESAR'S WE RESPECT YOUR HONESTY.) --Maybe one of our wives talking in the background for easily half the podcast!

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WE BACK. The National Signing Day podcast covers the unfortunate weight gain of recruiting season for coaches, the inevitable squandering of talent by brand and by team after all the excitement of getting it, the most exciting 8-4 Sun Bowl Team Steve Sarkisian will ever assemble, how Mike Leach recruits via conversation, the worst football plays we've ever seen, and the only proper way to declare your intent to attend Notre Dame.

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SHUTDOWN FULLCAST BACK. For the first time all three of us are in the same room AND actually guest-edited by Ty from the Solid Verbal, so if we sound even more mellifluous than usual it's because of superior production, not any appreciable incrase in talent, planning, or execution. (Those remain haphazard as always.) The topics for the week include: --Ryan and Jason doing duelling Andrew Luck imitations for four minutes --Why everyone is always polite at a gun range --Did you hear that Florida State lost by 39 points #talkinboutthenoles --New reader questions, including setting up the best possible fights between teams for the 2015 season --Actual title game talk, if you happen to make it all the way to the 35 minute mark

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On tonight's Shutdown Fullcast, we discuss how Wisconsin no longer has a coach but still has a jolly old Santa figure who leaves Barry Alvarez statues everywhere, Michigan not having a football coach until the spring thaw, the madness of the Popeyes Bahamas Bowl and your last chance to watch Western Michigan, and the bowl game that once had as many as 7200 people in the stands at once.

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This week's Shutdown Fullcast covers: Why it's not easy to be Brady Hoke, how you can fly all the way to Colorado and not really understand how a buyout works, how Michigan will reach for a Harbaugh apple and pull down an Addazio persimmon, why no sane person should take the Nebraska job, the moment when Jason demands people JUST FUCKING FIX THINGS, a proposal for UNLV to grant joint custody of the program to Houston Nutt and Ed Orgeron, Scooby Wright for Heisman, and how the Big Ten Championship Game Trophy definitely doesn't look like a football sitting on a trash can.

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This week's Shutdown Fullcast goes early to avoid the Thanksgiving holiday, and discusses the following: why FSU is fine but Tallahassee is kind of scary, how UCLA can honestly be called "pretty good" at football, why Minnesota will be #25 forever, how Alton Brown would be the most annoying roommate ever, and why Will Muschamp still believes modern farming techniques are tricks of the devil.

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This week, the Shutdown Fullcast reviews the college football rankings and finds out UCLA and Minnesota are the two greatest teams in college football; examines the precise levels of "Fuck Marshall" contained in those rankings; examines the mysterious concept of GAME CONTROL; answers reader questions, including telling you the exclusive secret to avoiding paying your student loans; looks at the week ahead and weeps tears of boredom.

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This week's podcast features a bold science experiment with the college football playoff rankings, tries to parse the meaning of "excessive scoring," gets Kirk Ferentz's buyout totally wrong, answers reader tweets, figures out why Dabo Swinney's terrified of couches, and describes Jimbo Fisher's Christlikeness.

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This week's edition is late and for that you get the refund of NOTHING. Topics include: a baffling discussion of Billy Joel and whether he has ever seen a football game, the agony and ecstasy of being a Florida fan processing a shocking win over Georgia, an important discussion of Cash Money vs. No Limit, a look at the very busy week eleven slate, and yet more #talkinboutthenoles.

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ONLY THE FASTEST DISCUSSION OF THE PLAYOFF WILL DO. Which is why we're discussing it no less than sixteen hours afterwards, because speed kills and we like to stay alive around here. This week's Shutdown Fullcast focuses on how the committee did a pretty good job, everyone hates Notre Dame again, which coaches would make good defensive attorneys, and how Dr. Bo came to the decision he made at the end of the LSU game.

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This week's Fullcast covers Notre Dame conspiracy theories, reviews which teams are everyone's rivals, says nice things about three overachieving teams, and determines which hip-hop celebrity is a universal translating robot in bike shorts.

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--We finally talk about Florida State, and whether Chad Henne could hit the earth with a spear --A brief discussion of how damn dappled everything in Michigan is --Jason likes a game with many points! (TCU/Baylor --An explanation of "go for two" is a principle Bret Bielema obeys in every facet of his life --We are asked who the most clownfraudulent team in the top ten, and yes it's Notre Dame --We are also asked a question that leads us to explain why Dana Holgorsen needs so much Red Bull (A: he is the main character in Crank.) --A scenario ending with the talking Olmec Head from Legends of the Hidden Temple vomiting from consuming too much alcohol --Florida State FLORIDA STATE

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The Shutdown Fullcast explores the horrors of the Michigan Man Riots of 2014, answers reader mail about SEC rap rankings and the worst teams we've ever seen, and looks at the week ahead in college football.

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This week's episode is already picking new coaches for people, and also talks for five minutes or so about this week.

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This week's Shutdown Fullcast examines the most and least self-aware fanbases in college football, and slanders most of them. We also discuss Week Four's games.

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The second edition of Shutdown Fullcast covers why Ryan is hanging out with the snake mayor of Rapid City, SD; why Outkast guarantees victory for your football team; and how everyone in college football this week goes over to their friend's dirty house just to be polite.

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The first episode of the second season of Shutdown Fullcast screws up the introduction, makes a terrible comparison of parenting techniques to football, covers the action for week two, and why you should go to brunch with Ralph Friedgen.

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Roger Raps All - I-do - Is - Win - With - Kliff - Kingsbury by ShutdownFullcast

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The micro-week's hottest Peyton Manning ringtone.

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This week's Shutdown Fullcast breaks some bad news to Jason and talks about what kind of vermin your fanbase would be.

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This week's episode opens by focusing on the most important coach in college football, Dabo Swinney. Discussion of bowl games and the time Memphis football players tried to crash a black sorority reunion at the St. Pete Bowl follow, and we conclude with terrible Mike Leach imitations.

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This episode of Shutdown Fullcast features an extensive discussion of sad restaurants filled with lonely people, a brief analysis of the Iron Bowl, and an admission that the college football season has probably peaked already.

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This week's Shutdown Fullcast focuses on mysterious Big Ten, the surprising depth of week eleven's lineup, and

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The Fullcast looks at the disasters of the college football season so far, but first looks at some personal debacles like taking yohimbe and going to law school.

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This week we dieweq

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The Shutdown Fullcast considers which coaches to fight.

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Contains ten minutes of discussion about how Paul Johnson makes impractical firearms and cooks meat with his body heat.

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A 41 minute podcast that asks how many 1997 Ford Escorts buys a Tyler Bray.

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THE STARKVILLE BURGER KING RULES A KINGDOM UNLIMITED AND GLORIOUS.

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Shutdown Fullcast Promo (with music) by Channel 6

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