I Am The Wife: From D-day to OK: Recent Episodes
The Wife
Two betrayed wives, 3500 miles apart, who forged a friendship that would never have happened if it weren't for our husbands' affairs. Inspired by each other and how we've navigated through the s%!t show of infidelity, we'll be talking about the bitter sweet way we met and became friends, our experiences with infidelity, our friendship, our feelings, our families and our journeys "from d-day to ok." We're not experts, just two wives keeping it real, with complete honesty, sharing what we've been through with a hope to reach and connect with other betrayed wives.
Series 3, Episode 9: P and I discuss the future of our podcast and I respond to being called “toxic” because of my views on infidelity and my refusal to allow unfaithful husbands place the blame on the wife.
Series 3, Episode 8: P finds out her spidey senses were bang on when she discovers some news about her ex-husband. I go on a sweary rant about the tone deafness of how betrayed wives are treated by those who betrayed them.
Series 3, Episode 7: I sympathise with the “can’t win” situation my betrayed wife friend is in dealing with her ex-husband’s choices and P is still single but has a funny feeling her ex might not be for much longer.
Series 3, Episode 6: I fill P in on the developments with my friends. P realises she’s hit a bit stage in her recovery process.
Series 3, Episode 5: P and I talk about the heaviness that is felt when people disappoint you and how crap it is when people are not who you thought they were.
Series 3, Episode 4: Both P and I are feeling better after such a low point last week. I got to speak my truth this week, with my unfaithful friend, and P’s depression is lifting.
Series 3, Episode 3: Both P and I have been struggling with life at the moment and how recent occurrences have affected us. My PTSD has taken me out with a vengeance and P’s had a string of let downs.
Series 3, Episode 2: Holy shit! This all literally happened over the last 2 weeks and culminated in yesterday being a d-day for my closest friends. Hear about how I helped to bust one of my best friend’s affair and how I feel about him cheating on his wife. P has been by my side through it all.
Series 3, Episode 1: We’ve finally managed to record the first episode of 2024! The sound quality is a bit rubbish and kept cutting out, but we catch up on an emotional breakthrough I had, news of P’a divorce and we discuss whether we would have wanted someone to tell us what was going on.
Series 2, Episode 15: P and I round off the year and discuss where we are now and what we are hoping for the next stage of our journey. I discuss some weird text messages I received which threw me into a spin and P thinks about how she’s going to get out there and meet new people.
Series 2, Episode 14: P and I discuss the video I posted on Instagram recently of myself back in 2020 and talk about a post I saw that resonated with me deeply.
Series 2, Episode 13: P and I talk about what we think and feel after watching David Beckham’s recent documentary on Netflix, and what was said and not said about his alleged affair with Rebecca Loos.
Series 2, Episode 12: It’s been a while! P and I have found time differences and schedules pretty challenging the last few months. We finally get a chance to catch up and chat about what’s been going on. P’s divorce is almost final and I got a surprising phone call from a friend.
Series 2, Episode 11: P is still feeling the effects of her breakup and pending divorce, while I reflect on a weekend that gave me a real lift.
Series 2, Episode 10: I invited my friend Karen to share her infidelity story. It involves a much younger woman, court cases, stolen money and deceit which almost bankrupted her. But she survived and is here to let us know how she got through it.
Series 2, Episode 9: A lot has happened since P and I last spoke. I thought my husband and I broke up and had an intense break down, while P talks about what’s going on in her relationship. Whatever’s going on, we’re still there for each other and we’re still ok.
Series 2, Episode 8: P tells me about an experience she has with a married man this week. I discuss my niggling insecurities and an event which reignited my mama bear rage.
Series 2, Episode 7: After an incredibly stressful week and emotional interaction with my husband, I finally get some validation I have been needing for a very, very long time. P was there to listen and support as always.
Series 2, Episode 6: P has moved for work and is adjusting being away from her daughter and girlfriend. I visit with some old Army friends which brings up conversations about the affair and its effects.
Series 2, Episode 5: I had a big row with my son that triggered a flashback so this week P and I discuss PTSD and how it’s effected our life since d-day.
Series 2, Episode 4: Don’t worry, everything’s fine. P and I have just been dealing with life’s ups and downs the last few weeks. My husband’s been away saving lives in Turkey and P has made a bold move concerning her job.
Series 2, Episode 3 - apologies in advance for the whining! P and I both had difficult weeks. Emotions all over the place, trying to work through what ends up in front of us. This was was a tough one.
Series 2, Episode 2: P and I are both dealing with meltdowns that accompany trying to move on after infidelity. I am freshly out of a very recent trigger and P is realising how being betrayed is affecting her new relationship.
Series Two, Episode 1: P and I can’t believe we’re still here recording podcasts. We discuss where we are with our recovery journeys and what topics we have on our list for series 2. If you have any suggestions or anything you’d like to hear, get in touch! Email: thewife@iamthewife.com
Episode 37: P’s first date since she split with her husband opened a whole load of emotions for both of us. We talk about this and then have a real laugh about her husband’s latest indiscretion.
Episode 37: Not a lot of time this week, so P and I talk about the many emails we have received and how it feels knowing this is happening to so many people. P also leaves us all on a cliff hanger about her life!
Episode 36: P and I reflect on our previous episode and the responses we received. P realises she has some regretful feelings she needs to work through and we discuss the role of remorse in the healing process.
Episode 35: Today we allow P to talk about a part of her life she wanted to be honest and transparent about. We have talked about it a lot between us and understand it may be controversial and provoke mixed reactions, so it’s very brave of her to put it out there. I am supporting her every step of the way.
Episode 34: I find an old journal that I started before I wrote my blog. P and I read some of it and reflect on how we both felt back then and how we feel now.
Episode 33: It’s exactly four years since my d-day weekend and four years since I’ve seen my sister, who was here when it all went down. We talk about what it was like for her and how it’s affected our family. Plus, P has some uplifting news about her ex you won’t want to miss!
Episode 32: P talks about her daughter’s birthday party with her ex and we get into a long discussion about an affair that ended in a murder/suicide.
Episode 31: After putting a call out on Instagram, P and I read out and discuss real comments that real betrayed wives have heard since their d-day. The most unhelpful and the most helpful.
Episode 30: I have had an exhausting week of anxiety, emotions and meltdowns and P is reminded not everyone is sympathetic to affairs.
Episode 29: P and I broach a topic we’ve been avoiding as it’s so delicate and difficult. We talk about how it made us feel knowing our husbands had had sex with someone else.
Episode 28: P and I reflect on our episode with Richi last week and how it uncovered feelings I still need to process.
Episode 27: Today is a feature length episode! After saying it multiple times, P and I finally chat with the man who I credit with a huge amount of my healing. He was there in my hour of need and with his skills and knowledge helped me navigate the year after d-day. If you like what you hear, you can follow his work on Facebook http://www.fb.com/freedomrichi
Episode 26: This week P’s had some realisations of her own about her ex husband and I try to explain some realisations I had about the ups and downs of my emotions this week. It’s often hard to explain properly and I feel like I’m talking too fast!
Episode 25: After our episode last week where we discussed feelings towards the AP, we follow on this week by chatting about the thin line between anger and bitterness.
Episode 24: P fills me in on a new man that appeared in her life and, after some common comments and messages we re-visit the topic of the various feelings felt towards the affair partner.
Episode 23: I have been plagued with nightmares this week, so P and I talk about the permanent unwanted ailments of infidelity, how that makes us feel and how we deal with it.
Episode 22: P and I discuss how I faced my shame head on this week on Instagram and we answer a listener’s question about where we get our strength from.
Episode 21: Answering a listener’s email, P and I discuss the trauma of finding out things that the BS says about you to the AP. I also quiz P on when we can hear about her next date!
Episode 20: Since I spoke about why I stayed, I’ve realised I feel a lot of shame for my choice to stay. So, P and I talk about the different levels of shame felt because of infidelity, especially the way betrayed wives end up carrying the shame for other people’s actions.
Episode 19: P and I discuss our experiences with various different types of therapy from couples counselling, individual counselling and EMDR.
Episode 18: This week is quite a mish-mash of things as we get back on track. Our podcast recording was derailed last week due to upsetting issues in my life, which we discuss. P talks about her recent drop in mood which leads us onto how we deal with other people’s reactions.
Episode 17: Showing both sides of the story, it’s my turn to share more about why I stayed in my marriage and the struggles I had from making that decision.
Episode 16: We get asked a lot how we knew whether to leave or stay and when was the defining moment we decided, so today P talks about why she left her marriage.
Episode 15: P and I have missed talking every week and start by catching up on what’s been going on. This leads us on to the topic of trust and how what has happened to us has affected us. How do you ever trust again? Here's the link to the article we mention. It's one of the best on infidelity I've read. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/flirting-with-disaster-ho_b_3853755
Episode 14: After the comment on my blog last week accusing me of initiating contact with someone else's partner, which I suspect was connected to the OW, P and I discuss how I feel about it. I also explain the vicious and calculated antics my husband's other woman resorted to when the affair ended and how that effected me. We also talk about how you're perceived, as a wife, when you respond to the terrible decisions made by those around you.
Episode 13......P has started a new contract this week and come across people who know about her situation and also know her ex-husband. This lead us to talk about how people react in these situations. We discuss the value of having people who fight your corner and invite a very special guest on, to talk about how she fought mine, and yes, sending poo in the post comes up again!
Episode 12: Trigger Warning As always, please be careful when listening. Today P and I discuss what we feel about forgiveness, what it means to us and whether we have forgiven our husbands’ actions.
Episode 11: A lot has been going on in our lives and P and I haven't spoken for two weeks due to her move, so we needed a good catch up. P reflects on her most recent D-day anniversary, while lending a listening ear to my very emotional week, revisiting how infidelity affected my childhood and then my marriage. TRIGGER WARNING Please be careful while listening.
Episode 10: Trigger Warning. Please be careful when listening. P is packing to move next week and finds some old diaries and I have an interaction with my dad that brings up issues around the ongoing repercussions of infidelity. We talk about our experiences of, and opinions on, limerence and affair fog and how they affect the cheating spouse.
Episode 9: This episode comes with a TRIGGER WARNING as we discuss the overwhelming feelings and urges we had towards the other woman and what we did about them. This could be difficult to hear if you are in the grips of emotional flooding or post-infidelity trauma. P has had to deal with lawyers and court processes this week, while I am re-building my life brick by brick with a new extension in my family home.
Episode 8: I don't think you'll find too many triggers here, but as always, please be careful. In this episode, following how we're both feeling in our journeys right now, P and I discuss the stepping stones we have taken in order to re-discover ourselves and piece our lives back together, from the very small, to the much bigger.
Episode 7: TRIGGER WARNING Please be careful listening if you are struggling with post-infidelity trauma. I had an emotional breakthrough this week, while P has had a pretty stressful time with one thing and another. She also had some urges around contacting the other woman, so in response to that and some listener's questions, we finally address the topic of "the other woman". Did we contact, confront or communicate with them in anyway? What's the best way to deal with this?
Episode 6: TRIGGER WARNING Please be careful if you are struggling with post-infidelity trauma. I share a big milestone about something that has finally stopped happening and P had to face a realisation with her ex-husband this week. We had something else planned, but events happened before recording that changed our direction. We ended up discussing triggers, trauma (both emotional and physical) and the ongoing repercussions of living with the effects of infidelity. Watch out for P's classic analogies along the way!
Episode 5: TRIGGER WARNING: Please be aware, we discuss emotional flooding in detail, which could be difficult for anyone currently struggling with it or in the grips of post-infidelity trauma. In today's episode P surprises me with some news and in a bid to make wives realise they are not going crazy, we discuss what's it's like emotionally, in the immediate aftermath of discovery. If you're interested in the articles we read from, here's the links (they work on Apple Podcasts):
https://www.relationalrecovery.com/complex-betrayal-trauma-emotional-dysregulation/
https://www.emotionalaffair.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Understanding-Your-Betrayed-Spouse.pdf
Any comments, questions or suggestions for topics, please dm or comment on Instagram or email thewife@iamthewife.com
Episode 4: This one is not so triggering, but please, as always, be careful when listening. Both P & I have had some setbacks in our recovery this week, with various repercussions of our husband's affairs cropping up. Plus, in this episode we discuss the immediate days after d-day and who we told, the friends who were there for us and how it felt doing "normal" when our whole life was anything but.
Episode 3: TRIGGER WARNING: Please be aware, P discusses details of her d-day, which could be difficult for anyone struggling with emotional flooding or post-infidelity trauma. We also discuss how our children have been affected as we were both, not only hit with the blind-siding devastation of d-day, but also forced into facing the realities of them over hearing details we wish they hadn't.
Episode 2: TRIGGER WARNING: It affected us talking about it, so please be aware parts of this podcast could be difficult to hear for anyone struggling with emotional flooding or post-infidelity trauma. P talks about her first experiences of online dating, I have told my husband about the podcast and celebrated my 15th wedding anniversary. I also share my d-day story and my immediate reactions to it.
Episode 1: We met because our husbands had affairs, I wrote a blog, she found it and sent me a message and this is our first ever podcast. We have no idea what we're doing and are flying by the seat of our pants (can you tell?!!) This episode is thrown together to get us started, introduce I Am The Wife, how we connected and what our intentions are for this series.