Get Real with Lisa: Recent Episodes
Lisa Gingerich
Let's get real about life, love, joy, hardship, career, family, aging and everything in between. We are all here for a reason and we should always keep learning how to find and follow that reason! Join me every week to be uplifted as a woman, get a laugh or two, and learn something new! Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/lisa-gingerich/support
Remember learning how to drive and that person teaching us said, " Don't back up more than you have to." That valuable lesson we learned while driving can also be a metaphor that teaches us about life. We can look back and learn and grow and change. But it can also keep us stuck and stagnant. It can keep us from moving forward, opening the next door and stepping through. So use those side mirrors, take a look back, let it teach you. But then, look forward to that future that awaits, open that door, and step through.
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Sometimes unexpected life events can teach us lessons that we never saw coming. Today, I am finally able (with some tears mixed in) to talk about the loss of my corgi, Nelson. He was with me through a lot of hard times and good times and was my little faithful companion to the end. But what I learned from the experience of losing him was the greater the love, the harder the loss. Losing something or someone close to us can help us learn empathy toward others and also brings us closer as humans. Loss is inevitable and hard and sad. When we go through it, it really does teach us how to love and care for others who have felt loss as well.
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Hey! I'm back and ready to chat with you about the illusion of control. Sometimes we may think we have it all under control, but then life happens, and we realize we don't. Today's episode covers lots of topics including having to learn different ways to record this podcast, aging and struggling parents, unexpected death and more. But it's really about one topic - life is just not in our control. Our choice is how we respond to it. So, if life is hard right now, I am here with you. If it is fabulous right now, I am so happy for you! If life is mediocre, I totally get it. It isn't about control. It is about seeing that there is value in all the ups and downs along the way.
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Have you ever wished for a time that was quieter, slower, less...internet? I know I do. This episode isn't really about 1985 but it is about bringing back things from a simpler time. Like the handwritten note. I have lots of little notes and cards from over the years of my life and they are so precious to me. If we had all had a cell phone in 1985, there would be a LOT less of those to treasure and reread. So, my challenge to all of us this week is to bring out the note cards and write someone a personal and meaningful note, letter, whatever suits your fancy. Stick it in the "snail mail" and see how it impacts someone's day, week or life!
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As time goes on, I realize how important friendship really is. And I also see how so many of us give up on friendships or let them just fade away because life gets busy and we don't see at the time how big a deal friendship really is. There are all different kinds of friends. Some are meant to be forever friends, and some are meant to be in our lives for a season. But we all know those people we have stopped connecting with for one reason or another. Sometimes that is just for the best. Other times, we know that we aren't willing to give up on that relationship and, in that case, we need to reconnect and keep that friendship. If someone comes to mind for you during this episode, reach our to that person and find a way to reconnect. You will be glad you did!
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Have you ever had that feeling that something isn't right? If you are like me, you've had that feeling and chosen to ignore it. Call it your gut, your intuition, the still small voice, or God, but it is there for all of us. I can look back on times in my life that it is so clear I didn't listen to that voice and lost my inner integrity. I knew something or someone was wrong for me, but I chose to ignore my gut and go for it anyway. I am telling you from experience that that voice is there for a very good reason. It helps us stay true to ourselves and what we believe to be right. So, the next time you aren't sure about something in your life, stop and really listen. Feel that proverbial tug on your sleeve and ask why. You just might avoid making a really big mistake.
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I got such a huge response from last week's episode that I decided to keep the conversation going. I think part of the reason it seems weird when all the kids fly the coop is that we lose our reason to be part of something. When we are momming, we are part of something bigger than ourselves. Then, suddenly, it's over, just like that. But the reality is, we didn't want to be mommed (or dadded) at their age, so we need to be aware of when it's time to be hands off and let them adult. This is our time to be US - whoever that may be!
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We raise the kids and raise the kids and raise the kids and then bam! They're all grown up! It is a good thing to have adult kids who are valuable members of society, but now what? For me, it has made me change my aim and start looking forward to finding purpose in other things. It has made me thankful for them and the lives that they are living. I think it's normal to feel that weirdness. Just know that you are not alone. Let it be weird. Let yourself feel it and take it in. But also let yourself explore new things, or maybe old things, to be excited about. We don't just have one purpose. We have many. So, pat yourself on the back for raising them well and try to see that there is more exciting stuff to do!
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A few months ago, I was ruminating about past events and regrets I have. It was getting annoying, as ruminating often does, because I felt like it was a useless waste of time. In my frustration, I went to bed asking, "What do I do with this? What is the point?" I woke up the next morning with an answer. The lesson I learned in doing this was that sometimes we just need to ask the question. If we ask the question, the answer will come, one way or another. So, if there is something weighing on you, nagging at you, ask! The answer you get may set you on a new and completely unexpected path!
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How many times have you signed up for things and then complained about it the whole time? I know I have been there... lots of times. For some reason, we really like to feel sorry for ourselves, even if we are the ones who fully caused the situation we are in! Guess what? All those things we signed up for were choices. We could have said no but we didn't; sometimes because we really wanted to complain. Let's stop feeling sorry for ourselves and sign up when we really want to or feel the need to. Let's start asking for help and allowing others to be a part of something good as well. Let's stop being martyrs and start being team players who understand that many hands make light work!
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This episode is about gifts and knowing (or remembering) what your gifts are. We all have gifts, and we have them for a reason. I have the gift of gab. Yes, I have been told that I talk too much. But if I didn't talk a lot, I wouldn't have started this podcast! You see, our gifts are for sharing. They aren't for sharing with those who don't appreciate them. Nor are they for keeping to ourselves. They are meant to be shared so they can make this life a better and more fulfilling life! So reach into the archives and pull out your gifts. Dust them off and put them to use. Because, for someone out there, you are the perfect cup of tea!
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What kind of customer are you? Are you kind and empathetic or are you an ahole? My friend and I have this running joke about her being a demanding customer. I once asked her if she has ever done a service job... had she ever been on the OTHER side of the counter/table/bar. She said, "no". I told her, "Well you should because you're an ahole". Now it's a running joke between us and we often laugh about it. But, in all seriousness, being a kind and considerate customer just means you look around, read the room, and empathize with what that person is going through. Your servers are working hard and many times for minimum wage plus tips - and with no benefits. So, the next time you are at a restaurant, imagine yourself as that server and put yourself in their shoes. Maybe you will be just a little bit kinder to them and give a little bigger tip. Cheers!
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I'm starting something new! For a lighter side of Get Real with Lisa, every week I will do a funny mini episode that relates to a previous episode (referenced by the episode number and 2.0). The funny minis will be mini... and hopefully funny! Enjoy!
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Yesterday was my birthday, and I had such a great time! Then again, I always do. I love my birthday and you know why? Because birthdays are a celebration of us being born...and STILL being HERE! At any moment, life can end and there won't be any more birthdays to celebrate. On your next birthday, I want to encourage you to let yourself be celebrated. Give others who love you the gift of celebrating you. Let them sing the song. The WHOLE song! Make a wish and smile. Cause you are worth celebrating!
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A friend once told me you might regret not going to a funeral, but you will never go to one and wish you hadn't. I have thought about that many times and realized she was so right. Funerals, celebrations of life and memorial services are so meaningful (and hard) but maybe the most important thing about them is that they are lessons in perspective. They make us stop and think about life, the uncertainty of it, the gift of it. They make us want to be better, do better and find purpose. They strip away all the crap that seemed so important before we walked into that room and help us realize what is really real in life. Funerals are teachers. They teach us that being sad and angry is ok. They teach us to live each moment to the fullest because we don't know if it is our last. Most importantly, they teach us that our connection with those we love is really what matters most.
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We tend to think of new beginnings as exciting and fun and good. But sometimes, new beginnings are unavoidable and not fun and the opposite of exciting. The thing about life is that we can't have the good stuff without the hard stuff. I hope you have wonderful new beginnings on your horizon. Just know that if your new beginning is a hard and painful one, it might just mean you have experienced new beginnings that were beautiful and meaningful. And maybe that's how we know the difference between the two.
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I recorded this episode a while back but wasn't a huge fan of it, so I didn't post it till now. The reason I decided to publish it is because I really feel that you can glean some good stuff from it, even if it isn't my favorite episode of all time.
Leading up to my daughter's wedding, I was reflecting on how quickly time goes by when our kids are young. I was reminiscing about how precious and magical it is. And as time goes by, you get to see them grow and learn and become their own person, independent of their parents. It really is amazing to watch. The time when they are young goes fast. If you are in that time, try to see the magic in it. If you are past that time, it's easy to look back and see the magic that it was. Take it from me... before you know it, that little girl sitting in your lap with her tiny finger pointing at the animals in a cardboard picture book will be a beautiful, grown woman walking down the aisle toward her new family.
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I have always placed a lot of importance on how I look. Hey... I grew up in the 80s when we took two hours every morning doing hair and makeup! It gets engrained in us that how we look is more important than other things- like what's on the inside. This lesson came swiftly to me recently when I basically curb-stomped my own face. I was carrying groceries and fell right into cement steps. It could have been much worse but what it has painfully showed me is that my face and looks will fade (maybe sooner than later!) and what I will be left with is what kind of person I am. I will be left with how I make others feel. I will be left with how kind I have been and how have I shown love and kindness to those around me. It has been very eye-opening (so to speak) to realize the emphasis I have put on my looks. The old cliche is true. What's on the inside IS what counts most. Sometimes it takes a little slip and fall to learn that lesson for real. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lisa-gingerich/support
I heard someone say today that if you have rules with not reason, the result is rebellion. I think we can all agree that rebellion sometimes comes, regardless. But this got me thinking about the people in my life and in my kids' lives who have spent time building relationships instead of just having a list of seemingly meaningless rules. Those people who take time to listen, ask questions, learn about you, are taking time to build that relationship. One of those people for me was my grandpa Henry. (Listen to Season 1, Episode 22, "Grandpa and the Rock", to hear a great story about him!) He didn't have money. He didn't give money. What he gave was time, precious time. And that time he gave created some of my favorite memories. So be that person for someone else. Take time. Spend it on someone you love. Time is precious and it really is what people will remember. Time is what creates a legacy for those we love to remember. Spend it wisely.
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I had a good conversation with my sons last night about not knowing things. They grew up in a small, rural town and didn't know a lot of stuff their friends did. They didn't grow up fixing cars and building stuff. They grew up playing sports and being athletes. So they were talking about being frustrated about not knowing some of the general "stuff" their farmer-kid friends knew. Then my older son said something interesting. He said, "It doesn't frustrate me any more. I can't use that as an excused. If I don't know, it's on me to learn it or figure it out." I thought that was an interesting point of view. So many times, we get lazy and blame others for not helping us enough with what we need. But not knowing something just means you don't know it. It means you can learn it or figure it out! We aren't stuck not knowing. We are given an opportunity to know. So start digging. Ask the "dumb" questions. Figure out the answer and then... you will know!
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Now that I am not growing kids, I have a new interest in growing house plants. I love to watch them climb, leaf out and outgrow their surroundings. This got me thinking. A plant will only grow as big as the space it is given. The same goes for a fish. If you leave a fish in a little bowl, it will stay small. But if you put it in a large trough of water, it will grow as big as is comfortable for it in its surroundings. The plant and the fish are such great metaphors for life. We can stay stuck, rootbound, small in our comfortable little space. Or we can look for ways to expand, reach, learn and grow. The opportunities for growth are endlessly surrounding us! So don't limit yourself. Get out there and grow!
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Today I am talking about how there is a change of seasons coming here in the Pacific Northwest and how it reminds me of the change of seasons in life. Change can be hard. Change can be weird. But it can also be really good for us, and necessary for growth. Today, I will show you how the change of seasons can bring on a different point of view. It can help us to look forward while also appreciating the past. Maybe we need to take a note from nature and the outdoors and realize that change renews us. It helps us have gratitude for what was and look forward to what will be.
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Today I am telling you a theory I have about marriage (or a long-term committed relationship). I look around and see all the folks who have made it through hard times and stuck it out and they are still going strong. I know the people who got married when I did have had plenty of struggles. Everyone does, right? But, for some reason, they have made it to the other side. Now they are enjoying the grandkids together. They are enjoying a different part of life together. And at the same time, they are rediscovering each other. I am not saying everyone should stay together, but there are a lot of folks who should think twice before calling it quits. (Go back and listen to my episode called "Doing Divorce Well" to get a little taste of what I am talking about). I applaud those of you who have made it through the hard times. I have an aunt and uncle who will celebrate their 70th anniversary next year! It truly makes my heart happy to see the longevity of the love and commitment out there. And for all you young'uns, get yourselves a whiskey box, or a variation of it, and give your future self a way to go back in time and remember the "why" of the union you have.
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What is cathartic to you? Do you know? I bet you knew at one time and maybe have forgotten. For my friend, who I talk about in the episode, it's working with and riding horses. (Who doesn't love the smell of a horse?) For her husband, it's working (playing) in the dirt. For me it's playing piano, writing, decorating or doing something else creative. The point is, we are all wired differently and that's a good thing! Try to remember a time when you did that thing that fed your soul. We all have it, even if it's been buried for a long time because life got busy. I can look back and see how I slowly started to ignore that "thing" (being creative) that brought me so much joy. At one time, it was "who I was" and now it seems so elusive. I am making a point of getting back to what feeds my soul. I am going to do things this week that feed my creative side. How about you? What can you do this week that is cathartic for you? Find it, remember it, and do it! Let me know how it goes!
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Has there ever been a time when you were in the wrong and you put blinders on and didn't talk to, listed to or ask anyone who would hold you accountable, for their advice? I've been there, and I remember it well. We don't want to hear the right advice when we are in the wrong. We stay around people who won't hold our feet to the fire and hold us accountable. But how will we ever learn, grow or do better, if we keep those blinders on? We won't! So, own your shit! Take responsibility for your side of the road. Listen to the hard advice so you can move forward and change and grow. And if it's your friend/partner/loved one in need of the good advice, be the person who can give that good advice and love them even if they don't take it. Life is about lessons. Owning your own shit is just the one of them.
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Music is such a big part of life. At least it's a big part, a huge part, of mine. I can "waste" an entire evening listening to music and dancing around my house, on the street, in a bar, wherever! I LOVE music! From the time I was young, I felt music very deeply. It started with a John Denver song, maybe Elton John, and went on from there. I played piano by ear and loved listening to a song and trying to learn how to play it. I went on to be a dancer on my high-school dance team. Those are memories I wouldn't trade for anything. The point is, music speaks to our hearts. It brings back memories. It can bring every emotion from pure joy to pure sadness. It seeps into our hearts and makes us feel things. So my encouragement to you today is to get yourself a playlist. Turn it up! Let it make you feel something, whether it be sadness or joy. I guarantee it'll make your day better! So let's dance, y'all. (Yes, I said y'all) Here, as promised, is the West Valley Class of '88 playlist done by my friend Eric on Spotify https://open.spotify.com/playlist/33BlxSD36IcmK6e1z5e1JM?si=cc5a3ae006e1437a
Eric says you're welcome... now get out there and DANCE!
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I had the privilege of going to a class reunion last weekend and had an absolute blast! To be fair, I always have a blast. But this is my first time going by myself. I knew some parts of it would be hard, but I said, "sign me up!" There are so many times we might miss connecting with others because we aren't willing to put ourselves out there and be brave and just GO! I signed up and went. I said, "yes." There are lots of times we don't really want to go to events, whether those events are happy or sad. But if we always say, "no", we miss out on connection with others. We miss out on making a new friend. We miss out on hearing someone's story we never knew about and, in turn, miss out on the impact it can make on our lives. We are built for connection and if we are always saying no to those times we could make connection, we are robbing ourselves of something really great. We are robbing ourselves of the joy that comes from the vulnerability of closeness to others.
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I had an emotional week. I went to two weddings and watched a sad movie, all of which made me cry. A LOT! But it was good for me to feel those emotions. It's good for us to allow ourselves to feel and experience life's ups and downs and not shove those feelings down and act as if they don't exist. Having feelings and emotions makes us human. Showing them makes us vulnerable. So, allowing yourself to feel and show emotion is part of being human and it is how you will connect with other humans. Let's stop shoving it all down and telling ourselves we don't have time or we are fine or we don't want to ruin our mascara. Let yourself feel them and show them. Someone may really connect with you in your sadness. Someone may connect with you in your joy. Someone may connect with you in your anger. Life is about connection with others and that connection, a lot of times, comes from the vulnerability of feeling and showing emotions.
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Today I am reading one of my favorite books to you. It's called, "Finding Muchness", written by Kobi Yamada, illustrated by Charles Santoso. It is a book about adding more life to your life. It is a book about being brave, having fun, showing love, being kind and so much(ness) more. I love it so much, I wanted to read it to you in hopes you will find the muchness inside of you that maybe you forgot about and need to be reminded of today. You are the only you! So go out there and be awesome and find your muchness today!
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It's my son's 20th birthday! Woohoo! Happy birthday, Layne! So... I tossed out some episode ideas and let him choose. Of course, he chose one I thought was pretty basic (or lazy) but when he elaborated, it became less so. The idea he picked was, "Say what you mean, mean what you say." When I asked him to elaborate, he said, "In relationships and friendships, if you don't say what you need and what you want, you end up being disappointed." He is so right. There are so many times we don't say what we want or need and end up being angry and disappointed when all the while, the other person doesn't have any idea what we want or need. So, let's start changing this today by evaluating our relationships and how we show up. Let's start doing ourselves and the other people in our lives a favor and just say it! We may lose some relationships along the way but that is a lot better than being disappointed and becoming resentful for staying quiet to "keep the peace".
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Stop saying, "I am old"! So many of you are out there saying you are old. Stop it! Old is a frame of mind. It isn't a truth. That word means different things to different people but... overall, it has a negative connotation. You will not hear me saying I am old. To me it means, "I am done" (done living, learning, growing, adventuring... just done). Who wants that? Not me!! Start looking at life as a gift. Each day, each moment, each adventure - it's all a gift. You aren't old. Your frame of mind is believing you are old. Stop it! You are as young as you will ever be so start living like it!
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The first full episode of "Get Real with Lisa" aired on June 1, 2022! So today, I thought I would rapid-fire through some of the most listened to episodes over the past year. My sincere thanks and gratitude for all you listeners out there. Here's to another year of learning about life together!
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You know what next week is? I do! It's the ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY of the GET REAL WITH LISA PODCAST! (Insert noise makers here) This is a minisode to get you geared up for the anniversary episode next week where I will rapid-fire through all the episodes I've done over the past year. It's gonna be a good time of reflection and also looking forward to the next year! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lisa-gingerich/support
Today's episode is a little off the beaten path. I recently had a moment of reflection and I realized I have been giving you all this good advice and not following it myself. I realized, for one thing, I have still been living in the past. I have been holding mistakes over my own head. I have not been forgiving myself... STILL! Well now is the time. Today is the day to start moving forward. This moment will never come again so live it! The quote of the day is, "Live as if the future is everything you want it to be, and the past is everything you needed to learn." Step forward today with me and let that sh*t go. It keeps us stuck. It keeps us from living in the now and keeps us from looking and moving forward.
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Today I wanted to talk to you about why we keep holding on to all this STUFF! Is it because we feel guilt if we decide to get rid of it? Is it the voice of our parents in our heads telling us, "This is a family heirloom"? We attach meaning to the stuff. In my case, I have carted around a whole set of fine china from house to house and haven't used it in over a decade. How silly is that? Let's look around and assess what is truly meaningful to us. Not to our parents. Not to our grandparents. To us. What surrounds us should be meaningful, useful and/or beautiful. Beyond that, let's let it go. We don't need to keep "stuff" because it is meaningful to someone else. Keep it if it is meaningful to you.
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You know when you're having a bad day and suddenly, you find yourself taking it out on other people? That happened to me today. I was in my own world (my tiny yard), mowing the grass, spraying the weeds, when suddenly, there was a neighbor walking her dog by my house. My dog, not being the nicest creature, tried to bite her dog. Mind you, I was unaware of this since I had earbuds in with music on. I was admittedly having not the best day so I basically told her my dog was just defending his yard. Long story short, I totally reacted to the situation because of what was going on with my own day. It had nothing to do with her! I immediately went over to her house and apologized. She was very kind and gracious and, what was really cool, was that she realized my reaction had nothing to do with her. I learned the lesson that I need to take a step back and see that my bad day doesn't need to hurt someone else. The other lesson is that how people treat you has to do with them, not you. So don't take it all so personal, because it's not. In the end, I still have a neighbor to wave at and chat with over the fence. It was a good little lesson for me and hopefully for you as well!--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lisa-gingerich/support
Do you ever find yourself wasting time ruminating on the past and what could have been different or on the mistakes you made that you wish you could take back? How about the good times? We can also get sucked into sadness that those good times are "over". Both of these scenarios rob us of the present moment that we are now missing out on. I know there have been times I've gotten stuck obsessing about what I could have done differently. Pretty soon, I am on a spiral of the "whys" and the "what ifs" and in that spiraling, I've wasted the joy of the present moment. Mistakes teach us lessons, if we are paying attention. It is ok to look at them and learn. In fact, it is a really good thing to examine our actions, hearts and learn to do better. So, if you find yourself going down the rabbit hole of regret, or even the rabbit hole of the good times, be sure to not let it last too long. If you do, you just might miss out on the joy that is right now, right here, in front of you. Let's stop living in the past and step forward. Enjoy the moments as they come. They are what you will regret not noticing after they are gone.
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What does the word, "failure" really mean? Who gets to decide what a failure is? So many times, we decide for ourselves or others that we or they have "failed" because something didn't work out the way we thought it would or wanted it to. But the real failure comes from not learning the lesson it was teaching. I recently quit my job in accounting and took another job in a completely different field. Is that a failure? Not at all! It is a better fit for me and, in turn, those I work with and the company I left, for that matter. Is a "failed" relationship a failure? I think if you are willing to examine your part in it and learn the lessons it teaches, it really isn't. Let's replace the word "failure" with "lesson" and see how that changes our mindset. If we are willing to do the hard work on ourselves and see what life is trying to teach and then change how we are showing up... we are learning the lessons. Not failing. So go forth today and learn.
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Come along with me as I walk my dog and talk about visiting a friend who recently lost her mom. Showing love to those who are hurting is important, whether it’s sitting by a loved one while they are dying or going to see a friend when they are grieving. Death is part of life. Tell those you love how you feel about them. Say what you need to say to them. Tomorrow isn’t promised. Sometimes it’s the little things and conversations that matter the very most. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lisa-gingerich/support
Who doesn't love a good grandpa story? Today I wanted to talk to you about one of the best men I ever knew. My grandpa Henry was so many things to so many people. He was a son, a husband, a father, a carpenter, a logger, a farmer, a story-teller and, most of all, a teacher. He was a teacher about life and what is really important. His impact on me was immeasurable, even though he passed away when I was still very young. As a kid, I loved collecting rocks. I loved the shiny ones, the pretty ones, the colorful ones. I loved them all... except the ugly ones. He noticed my interest and, being a rockhound himself, decided to teach me a lesson about life using a thunder egg. Thunder eggs are rocks mostly found in the Oregon area. They are lumpy and grey and frankly, not at all attractive. He had boxes and boxes of them in his basement. One day, he told me I could choose a thunder egg and he would put it in his rock cutter and saw it open so we could see what was inside. I looked around and finally chose one. He studied it and decided the best way to cut it. He placed it in the rock cutter and shut the lid. I watched as the water splashed while the rock was being cut. This seemed to take forever. He asked me, "What do you think it will look like on the inside?" I said, "Probably ugly." When he finally opened the lid and took the rock out for me to see, I was amazed at the beauty inside. It had blues and whites and browns. It looked like it had a lake buried inside it. It was one of the prettiest things I had ever seen. He said, "This rock is like people. You might walk right by them, never see them and never notice the beauty inside them." I have never forgotten that day with my grandpa and the rock and the lesson I learned. I might have walked right by that rock and never noticed it but because he saw the beauty inside it, I have a beautiful pair of book ends to remind me of the beauty we don't always see in others. Thanks, Grandpa Henry, for that lesson about life. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lisa-gingerich/support
"We are stronger in the places we've been broken," is a favorite saying of mine. It paraphrases a quote from Ernest Hemingway. I remember when my son broke his hand playing baseball. We didn't know it was broken until a couple weeks later when he re-broke it. The doctors were amazed at the speed in which his bone had healed itself. The orthopedic doctor said, "The good news is, you will never break that one again. It'll be the strongest bone in your body." I have done a little research on this, and it isn't necessarily true about a bone, but it is a good metaphor for this episode. Are we stronger in the places we are broken? Maybe so, if Hemingway was right. We go through life feeling all kinds of joy and sadness. We suffer heart break and loss. We also experience love, joy and abundance. The good stuff is a counterweight to the bad. The times we feel broken can bring us to a stronger point in life. That brokenness we experience can be the reason we are able to help others through their own heart break, sadness and loss. Maybe the brokenness brings us to a point of healing, determination, revision or reinvention. Maybe the brokenness is the best thing that could happen to us because it teaches us something or helps us help others. I believe we are stronger in the broken places. And, with that strength, we can help others be stronger too. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lisa-gingerich/support
Is it truly better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, like the saying tells us? Well, I say, "yes". In episode 14, I talked about vulnerability and that it means opening ourselves up to being hurt. Without that openness, we can never experience real connection with others. This heartbreak thing can happen in any deep, loving relationship, romantic or otherwise. We can choose to be closed off and superficial. But, if we do, all we will get is closed-off and superficial relationships. But that isn't what we as humans really want. We have a need for deep, meaningful connection with others. Without vulnerability, we cannot gain that deep connection. And without that deep connection, there is no love. And without love, there is no heartbreak. In life, we can experience all kinds of heartbreak, big and small and in any kind of relationship. Sometimes we learn a lesson about ourselves and other times, we learn a lesson about someone else. Either way, there is a lesson in the struggle. At least that has been the case for me. I love the quote, "Love doesn't break us, it breaks us open". Question is, if we knew we would have heartbreak, would we change the story?
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I had a conversation years ago with my dad, a fire chief, about diamonds and how they don't burn in a fire but they are lost in the soot and no one can find them. I thought about this recently and realized, there has to be a lesson here. I know... pretty predictable that we are the diamonds who get lost in the rubble. But let's dig deeper, no pun intended, and get down to the issue of life's soot and grime that we let cover us up and dull our shine until, not only does the world not see it, but we forget it was ever there. Today, I want us to remember that shine. Remind ourselves of the joyful, passionate people we once were before the crap of life covered us up. Let's remember who we were before we let someone else tell us who and what we should be! Dust yourself off for this episode because it will make you remember who you once were and make you want to find them again.
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I recently went on a walk with my dog and looked up and saw the Big Dipper for the first time in I don't know how long. It reminded me of laying in the grass as a kid and looking up at the constellations. Then I walked under a streetlight and, of course, I could no longer see the stars. This got me thinking. What a metaphor for life. So often, we get distracted by the "streetlights" of the world, the noise, and lose track of our North Star. We lose track of our aim, our arrow, our purpose. In today's episode, I talk about getting back to that North Star and finding it again in all the crazy, busy, distracting noise of the world. Our purpose may shift throughout life but if something lines up with our values, intuition and aim, we are still pointing at our own personal North Star. Life is the greatest teacher and if we don't listen, it will keep bringing the lesson until we do. Go outside today and remember a simpler time. Remind yourself that in all that has changed, the North Star hasn't. It is still there today just like it was and it will be there tomorrow. Reset your arrow and find your North Star again.
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Are you living your whole life worried about others might think or say about you? Is your existence a mask you put on for other people's approval? I know how exhausting it is to live like that. You go to bed at the end of the day knowing you lived for everyone else's approval and to check all the boxes but didn't stay true to who you are. Stop and think about what is wrong with just being you? You are amazing! Who cares what they think or say? You don't need to answer to them. You only have to answer to you. Let's start living with intention, love, connection and be ourselves. Being anything else is just fake and everyone will know it anyway, right? F it! Be the amazing person you were born to be and stop trying to fit into that box someone else made for your life. Wake up tomorrow and, in the wise words of Andy Grammer say, "Damn, It Feels Good To Be Me!"
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How many times do we think something complimentary about someone and just don't say it? Why don't we? Let's start giving out compliments and brighten someone's day! On a deeper level, are there things we need to say to those we care about and love that we are just too afraid to express? One of the top five regrets of the dying is the wish to have had to courage to express themselves. If it was your time to go, what would you regret not saying? In short, what would you wish you'd said? My dad apologized to my mom in her last days and it created so much peace for them both in her dying days. Let's learn from that. It is scary to open up, express our feelings and risk being rejected/hurt. But what is the alternative? What is the cost of not saying what you need to say? Are you willing to pay that price? Let's not live with the regret of not having the courage to express ourselves. Let's be brave and say what we need to say... today. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/lisa-gingerich/support
So many times in life we have a thought about someone and we don't express it. It may be that we love them, care about them, admire them or just think they have great shoes. But we don't open our mouths and say it. But why? Sometimes we are afraid of being vulnerable and taking the risk of looking silly or weird. But how great would it be for that person to hear how you feel about them or see them? On a deeper level, none of us wants to go to our death bed regretting things left unsaid. My challenge to you is to open your heart and show love, care and admiration to those around you. So... let's be brave this week and say what we need to say!
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Today I am talking about holding grudges and what that can do to a person. It isn't good. I think we all know that. But we all tend hold on to the past and not forgive those who've hurt us. Not forgiving those who have wronged us is really only hurting ourselves and causing us pain. Instead, we can learn, grow and determine to change based on the lessons we learn from those experiences. Let's determine today to stop holding grudges toward others and forgive, let go of the past and step forward into a better tomorrow. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/lisa-gingerich/support
The last minisode was all about living in the moment during the holidays and enjoying each one as it comes. I learned that this really works! I determined to do this during my gathering with my kids over the weekend and it was the best day! I encourage you to set an intention to live each moment as it comes, planned or not, and see how much more joy you find. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/lisa-gingerich/support
I just wanted to hop on and wish you a blessed holiday season and put out a reminder to be present in the moment with those you love and cherish.
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I have been studying about vulnerability and it turns out, it actually means opening yourself up to being harmed. Well who wants that? It sounds not so fun, right? Problem is, if you never let yourself be vulnerable, you will never find meaningful connection with others. That doesn't sound so great either. Vulnerability seems weak and opens us up to being hurt. It is bearing your soul to another without any guarantee. It's risky! But it just may be the bravest thing a person can be. Without it, we will never be able to fully open up to deep, loving connection with others. And isn't that what life is all about?
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Close your eyes and think of your favorite childhood memory. Was it homemade ice cream with your grandpa? Was it riding your bike down a dirt road? I bet it wasn't expensive or even what your parents thought was meaningful. I would like to get us back to enjoying the simple things and stop stressing so much over the big things this holiday season. There are so many times we run ourselves ragged preparing for everyone to have fun and then the day comes and goes and all we did was... run ourselves ragged. Let's all try just a little more this season to live in the moment, like kids do, and enjoy the experience of those around us.
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I have recently listened to the book Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. I highly recommend it as it explains attachment styles and why we have them. It also gives practical guides and real-life scenarios on how to navigate your style in relationships. I myself am an avoidant style & damn determined to learn not to be. I have learned that if I am to have deep, connected, loving relationships, I have to let myself be vulnerable to other people. Not easy to do when my first reaction is to put up a wall and shut people out. It is a defense mechanism from long before I can remember, is no longer needed and for sure not serving me well. Today I talk about how to recognize your fear when connection comes close - realize and remind yourself that the fear of closeness is unfounded - and let yourself be vulnerable to letting others in. The risk? Getting hurt. But the bigger risk, at least for me, is not letting anyone in at all and missing out on the most fulfilling, loving, connected relationships in life.
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I don't know about you but I tend to create conversations in my mind about what other people are thinking, saying and doing. In reality, none of those thoughts are based in truth. They are my own assumptions about people or situations that may or may not be reality. And really, what others are saying, thinking and doing are none of my business. That isn't my side of the road. I have my own stuff to work on and my own thoughts to manage. I have no business trying to manage any of that for others. So the next time you find your mind spiraling and making assumptions about others, tell yourself out loud, "STOP!" Stay on your side of the road. It is plenty busy!
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Today, let's talk about how changing our perspective about how people treat us can free us from holding grudges and being victims. When someone does wrong to you, it is most of the time about them. It isn't about you. When we waste time wondering why someone said what they said or did what they did, we can spiral into negative self-talk, assume it's about us and stay stuck in holding grudges and feeling sorry for ourselves. Let's change that today. The next time someone does something that hurts you or makes you feel bad, turn your perspective around and say, "That has nothing to do with me. Them acting in that way has only to do with them". Not only will this help you free yourself of letting them ruin your day, it will help you realize that one small change of perspective helps you learn, grow and move forward in life instead of staying stuck in negativity. Try it today and let me know what you think @getrealwithlisa #achangedperspectivewillchangeyourlife
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A couple weeks ago, I gave you an assignment to come up with a personal challenge you are struggling with. I came up with my own and the idea was to write the challenge down on the left side of a piece of paper and, on the right side each day, write down something to be grateful for relating to that challenge. I chose my nine-to-five in accounting and you will find out why. (If you know me, you already know why;)) I hope you find value in this as we often look at challenges as obstacles or as a bad thing but really, they are a valuable tool in showing us how to be grateful! Please leave a rating or review for the pod wherever you listen and shoot me an email at getrealwithlisapodcast@gmail.com or follow me on Instagram @getrealwithlisa.
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How many times do we think something nice about someone but don't say it? I know I do it all the time. But if we step out of our comfort zone and open out mouth and let that compliment come out, think of how we could improve someone's day! Giving a compliment is not as hard as receiving one but if the person isn't receptive to it, it can be uncomfortable. Let's challenge ourselves this week to say something nice when it comes to mind instead of holding it in. On the flip side, let's be open to receiving the compliment when it is given. Let's learn how to say, "Thank you. I appreciate that," and not minimize it because it makes us feel uncomfortable. Email me at getrealwithlisapodcast@gmail.com or find me on Instagram @getrealwithlisa and tell me your stories! We will pick up last week's challenge next week when I will have a better-working laptop. If you like this podcast, please give a rating/review. It helps get it shared organically around the world. Thanks for getting real with me!
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Today we talk about the Silver Lining. I know we've all heard it a bunch of times but looking at the silver lining instead of that black cloud is a choice. We can either choose to be grateful for the good stuff or view life as if it's "happening to us". Let's learn to actively choose gratitude, even when it's hard. I know a grateful life is a better one. Email me at getrealwithlisapodcast@gmail.com with your questions, ideas and thoughts on the gratitude challenge at the end of the show today. You can also find me on Instagram @getrealwithlisa. I look forward to hearing from you!
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How many times do we say, "Hello. How are you?", and don't stop and listen to the answer? I know I do that sometimes. I have been intentionally slowing down and listening to people, looking for meaningful connection in conversation, and it's happening! Let's set an intention today to have meaningful, connected conversation with someone. Really hear them. Listen without intent to reply but just to hear. You'll be amazed at what you will learn!
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Shout out to my bio sibs for your love and support and heartfelt kindness for last week's episode. Check out my Instagram for a pic of us @getrealwithlisa.
Today I wanted to talk to you about how changing your perspective can truly change everything. The more I complain about something, the worse it gets. Do you know a complainer? Are you one? Start to be grateful, even for the challenging things, and see how your life can turn around. When you wake up tomorrow, name five things you are grateful for. Repeat those five things throughout the day. Tomorrow, choose another five things and see how things change for you. Be sure to not only choose the easy ones, but the hard ones as well. I guarantee your day will be changed! Email me at getrealwithlisapodcast@gmail.com or find me on Instagram @getrealwithlisa and let me know how your life is improving with this work!
I would love it if you would do me a huge favor and leave a rating/review/share. It helps this podcast get heard all over the world. The world could use some goodness, don't you think?
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When I was three days old, I was adopted by my parents. I never knew, or really had a big desire to know, my bio family. But when my daughter prompted me, I looked into it and found some of the most amazing people on the planet. Who would have thought that the "family" I would find was a family like no other? Shout out to the kind, compassionate, welcoming and good humans I am related to. Clearly, the last little apple didn't fall far from that tree. ;) But seriously, this whole journey made me ever-so thankful for all who helped shape my life. Email me at getrealwithlisapodcast@gmail.com and please give me a rating/review to help spread the good word of this podcast worldwide.
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Divorce happens. People break up. But how you move through that process and the years following a divorce/break-up is your choice. Having kids is an adult thing and getting married is too. The worst thing about divorce is that one person makes a choice that effects everyone in the family and those other people have no choice but to deal with it. I am here to help you find a way to do divorce well and not make your kids pay the price for your sh*t. Let them be kids and show them an example of kindness and gratitude. That brings me to the subject of my new gratitude journals! I give you a journal prompt at the end of this episode and then a challenge to email me... hang out till the end because there is a surprise waiting for you! Please also hit the "like" button or "subscribe" so you won't miss an episode. This will help spread the podcast far and wide! My new email is getrealwithlisapodcast@gmail.com
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Don't we all love being wrong? I know I do. So, what's in a good apology? How can we put our own ego aside, be humble, and say those two words -- I'm sorry. If you have a minute, leave me a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or Google Play. Your ratings and reviews help this podcast reach more people out there who will get something from my messages. Thank you in advance!
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Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. The only person you hurt by holding on to past hurts is yourself. I watched my mother cling to those hurts and not forgive and the person she hurt the most was herself but it also effected her relationships. Her unwillingness to forgive turned into bitterness which was so sad to see, in the end. Bitterness turns into hate and the cycle just repeats. We must forgive in order to move on from the past and have a more fulfilling future with better relationships with those around us. Who have you not forgiven? Give yourself this gift and watch things change for you.
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I have been putting off cleaning something out... my inbox! The more I put it off, the less I want to look at it. It makes me think of the other clutter in our lives. Real clutter and figurative clutter alike. I hope this inspires you to take a look at what you can de-clutter in order to live your best life. Also, the first "real" Get Real with Lisa full episode drops in less than a week and I am so excited! Thanks for getting real with me!
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We're almost there! The first FULL episode of Get Real with Lisa is coming up on June 1! This is another minisode and it's about the art of saying, "no". I wish I learned it earlier but it's never too late. And, by the way, you honor others by being authentic and real with them and saying no when you mean no. Sometimes saying yes just creates resentment and, let's be real, drama (that we kinda like) in our lives. Say yes when you REALLY mean YES! And learn how to say no when you really mean NO!
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What is holding you back from taking a step forward and doing that thing you dream of doing? You are capable and you can do it. You just need to open the door and step through. In this episode, I tell you about my navy blue painted floor, a conversation with a friend that encouraged me to do my dreams, and how we can all be brave and take a step forward into the life we want to live. Find this podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Play and find me on IG @getrealwithlisa Have a dreamy great day!
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Self care is important and makes us better humans. Take some time to do what feeds your soul today. Be nice to you because you are awesome!
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This is me... Lisa! This little trailer is just a tidbit about me, why I am doing this podcast, and what you can look forward to in future episodes. I even added a little music. How cool is that? Join me on this journey of learning about life, relationships, people and purpose. Let's get real together!
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