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In his October 2025 General Conference address, “The Family Proclamation—Words from God,” Elder Ronald A. Rasband testified that The Family: A Proclamation to the World is not merely a cultural statement or institutional guideline, but revealed doctrine given by God through His prophets. He explained how the proclamation came forth through prayer, prophetic councils, and spiritual unanimity—and why its teachings deserve reverence in every generation.
Yet its clarity has also made it controversial. As social views on family, marriage, and gender continue to shift, many struggle with how the proclamation fits in a changing world.
This raises a common and sincere question:
Should Church leaders be more open to current social views rather than asserting fixed doctrine about the family?
The proclamation has a divine origin, so we must treat it with the reverence deserving words from God.
Common Criticism: “Church leaders should be more open to current social views on family, marriage, and gender, rather than asserting fixed doctrine.”Some feel that doctrinal clarity on the family appears rigid or exclusionary in a world that values personal identity, evolving norms, and individual experience. They wonder whether prophetic leaders should adapt their teachings to better reflect modern perspectives, especially when current doctrine feels misaligned with personal circumstances or societal consensus.
Fallacy at Work: Cultural RelativismCultural relativism assumes that truth must evolve alongside social consensus—that what is right or authoritative today should adjust as norms change.
Applied here, it suggests that revealed doctrine should be reshaped to reflect cultural acceptance. But this assumption overlooks the difference between compassionate ministry and doctrinal authority. It treats prophetic teaching as opinion rather than revelation and equates discomfort with error.
Elder Rasband’s Correction: Doctrine Comes from God, Not CultureElder Rasband teaches that the Family Proclamation originated through revelation, prophetic councils, and unity—not as a reaction to social trends, but as guidance given ahead of them. Its authority rests in God’s eternal perspective, not in human approval.
He explains that prophets are stewards, not authors, of doctrine. Their responsibility is not to mirror society, but to declare God’s truths—even when those truths are countercultural. At the same time, Elder Rasband affirms the dignity, worth, and belonging of every individual, regardless of circumstance.
Resolving this Fallacy: The tension many feel dissolves when we understand the role of prophets. God’s doctrine is not designed to validate every cultural moment; it is meant to anchor His children across all of them. The Family Proclamation provides clarity about eternal identity and divine purpose while leaving room for compassion, patience, and Christlike love. Upholding doctrine does not negate empathy—it grounds it.
Living Apologetics: Holding to Doctrine with Christlike CompassionIn a world that often frames disagreement as hostility, faithful members may feel unsure how to speak about the Family Proclamation without sounding harsh—or how to remain loyal to doctrine without appearing unkind.
Elder Rasband models a better way. He shows that it is possible to speak with doctrinal clarity and genuine love. Defending revealed truth does not require diminishing others’ experiences, and compassion does not require abandoning eternal principles.
Practical Apologetic Use:
- If someone says: “The Church just needs to catch up with the times.”
- You can respond: “The Church believes families are central to God’s eternal plan. Prophets don’t create doctrine based on culture—they share what God reveals. At the same time, everyone belongs and deserves compassion and respect.”
Ways to Apply Today:
1️⃣ Study the proclamation prayerfully, seeking to understand not just what it says, but why it matters eternally.
2️⃣ Speak with clarity and kindness when the doctrine is questioned.
3️⃣ Create belonging without compromise by extending Christlike love while remaining anchored to revealed truth.
Keep This Talk With YouElder Rasband’s testimony reminds us that God’s truths do not lose their authority simply because the world changes. The Family Proclamation stands as a divine anchor—offering clarity about eternal identity, purpose, and belonging in a time of confusion.
Choosing to trust revealed doctrine does not mean ignoring pain or complexity. It means believing that God sees further than we do and that His love extends to every soul. As we hold firmly to truth while reaching outward in compassion, we become better disciples of Jesus Christ.
How do I balance loyalty to revealed doctrine with Christlike compassion when cultural views differ from gospel teachings?
The Consider Conference series by FAIR offers an in-depth look at recent General Conference talks to help members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints navigate common questions, misunderstandings, and criticisms. Each post provides doctrinal insights, historical context, and practical ways to apply gospel principles in everyday conversations. Through this series, we hope to equip readers with faith-promoting resources that encourage thoughtful reflection, respectful dialogue, and a stronger foundation in gospel truths, fostering both personal conviction and meaningful discussions with others.
The post The Family Proclamation—Words from God appeared first on FAIR.
In his October 2025 General Conference address, Elder Brik V. Eyre taught that our lives “will fundamentally change if we better understand who we really are.” He testified that we are not accidents of creation or mere products of circumstance—we are beloved sons and daughters of God, endowed with divine potential and accountability.
Some faith traditions see humanity primarily as creations of God—beautiful, but passive. Elder Eyre reminds us that the restored gospel restores a higher truth: we are children of God, heirs with Christ. That single shift in identity changes everything—from how we face trials to how we use our agency.
“We must seek validation vertically, not horizontally. And as we do, we too can boldly proclaim, ‘I am a child of God.” — Elder Brik V. Eyre
Common Criticism: “If God made me this way, how can He hold me accountable?”In a world shaped by victimhood and self-definition, some wonder whether personal accountability is fair. “If God created me with these tendencies or challenges,” the reasoning goes, “then He’s responsible for my choices and outcomes.”
This view can make us feel powerless—defined by biology, upbringing, or circumstance—rather than divine design. It assumes that identity is static, not eternal.
Fallacy at Work: The Fatalism FallacyThe Fatalism Fallacy is the mistaken belief that our choices don’t matter because everything—including who we are—has already been decided.
Fatalism whispers that agency is an illusion. It treats human beings as programmed outcomes of creation rather than participants of divine parentage. Applied to faith, it mistakes God’s authorship for authorship without consent: if He “made” us, then we cannot act for ourselves.
Elder Eyre’s message refutes that completely. Our Father in Heaven did not manufacture us; He fathered us. Children inherit divine capacity. Creation makes objects; parenthood makes agents. To be God’s child is to share, in embryo, His creative power—the ability to choose, grow, and become.
Resolving this Fallacy: The restored gospel’s doctrine of divine identity transforms accountability into empowerment. Because we are God’s children, not His puppets, we are capable of growth beyond our circumstances. The adversary whispers, “You’re never going to get better—this is who you’ll always be.” But divine truth replies, “You are a child of God—this is who you are becoming.”
Agency is not punishment; it is privilege. The Father’s plan was never to trap us in weakness but to teach us to act, repent, and progress. As Elder Eyre testified, “The adversary will always try to label us by our weaknesses, but Heavenly Father consistently and lovingly reminds us that we are His children.”
“While our Heavenly Father lovingly reminds us that we are His children, the adversary will always try to label us by our weaknesses.” — Elder Brik V. Eyre
Living Apologetics: Identity That Empowers AgencyA frequent misconception is that faith in divine identity means blind obedience—that if God is our Father, He dictates our lives. Elder Eyre flips that narrative. Knowing we are children of God gives us both the courage and the responsibility to act.
Our divine inheritance is not exemption from struggle; it is the endowment of power to grow through it. Christ’s Atonement makes that growth possible, and prayer connects us to the source of it.
Practical Apologetic Use:
- If someone says: “If God made me this way, I shouldn’t have to change.”
- You can respond: “He didn’t just make you—He begot you. As His child, you have divine DNA. That means you’re not trapped by what is—you’re invited to become something more.”
Ways to Apply Today:
1️⃣ Seek validation vertically. Before scrolling, comparing, or apologizing for who you are, spend time “being with God.” Let Him remind you of who you are to Him.
2️⃣ Replace labels with lineage. When you catch yourself thinking, “I’m just not good at…,” reframe: “I’m a child of God learning to…”
3️⃣ Act from identity, not insecurity. Make one decision today that reflects divine potential rather than fear or habit.
Keep This Talk With YouUnderstanding divine identity is the foundation of divine destiny. Elder Eyre’s invitation is not merely to believe in God, but to believe God when He tells us who we are.
Remember: creation defines existence; sonship defines becoming.
When you feel unworthy, uncertain, or overwhelmed, repeat Moses’s declaration: “Who art thou? For behold, I am a son [or daughter] of God.” (Moses 1:13.) That truth banishes shame, restores agency, and anchors hope.
This week, try one small step:
- Write in your journal the sentence, “I am a child of God, therefore I can choose.”
- In prayer, ask not only for help but for remembrance—of who you are, and whose you are.
- When you see others struggling, remind them of their divine heritage, not their human limitations.
How will you live differently this week because you know who you really are?
The Consider Conference series by FAIR offers an in-depth look at recent General Conference talks to help members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints navigate common questions, misunderstandings, and criticisms. Each post provides doctrinal insights, historical context, and practical ways to apply gospel principles in everyday conversations. Through this series, we hope to equip readers with faith-promoting resources that encourage thoughtful reflection, respectful dialogue, and a stronger foundation in gospel truths, fostering both personal conviction and meaningful discussions with others.
The post Know Who You Really Are appeared first on FAIR.
“Controversies in Joseph Smith’s Polygamy: New Evidences and New Observations Indicate Fawn Brodie Should Have Done More Research” by Brian C. Hales at the 2010 FAIR ConferenceWhy did Joseph Smith practice plural marriage? There are three different places we could go for answers.
We can go to the naturalists—like Fawn Brodie—and the cynics, which are kind of in the same group. We can go to Latter-day Saint apologists, who gave us their own set of reasons. And then we can go to Joseph Smith himself. I’d like to look at these three sources.
The first source is the naturalist—and what I mean by that is somebody who is sure God’s not involved. Okay? It’s all natural processes—hormones, libido, job one—and sex. That’s what’s driving polygamy. That’s their answer.
And Fawn Brodie kind of codified this idea in her 1945 biography, which unfortunately is still probably the most influential book ever written on Joseph Smith. Brodie totally botched the treatment of his sexuality in polygamy. She didn’t even want to get it right—that’s my frustration.
The purest naturalistic view is found in George D. Smith’s 2008 novel, which he called “Nauvoo Polygamy: … but we called it celestial marriage.” I doubt there will ever be a purer naturalistic view written of Joseph the man.
CONTINUED HERE
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by Mandy Davis at the 2024 FAIR Conference
Nine years ago, I had the opportunity to start attending meetings at the United Nations. After the very first time going, I knew that it was going to be a hinge point in my life; and that I would never be able to unsee just how calculated the efforts were to undermine and fight against God’s plan in many areas of society. I knew that I would have to get to a point in my life where it became a well-used habit to be able to view the culture and trends of the world with a gospel lens.
So each time, after coming home from the United Nations, I would discuss things with friends and family about my experience. I shared with them some of the things that we needed to watch for and that we would start seeing in society. And some of the people really took things to heart and believed what we were seeing, and others didn’t.
CONTINUED HERE
Mandy Davis grew up in Alberta, Canada. She graduated from Utah State University with a Communications degree. While there, she met her husband and they now reside in Cache Valley with their 3 children. Mandy has had the opportunity to attend meetings at the United Nations both in the United States and abroad. Her experiences at the United Nations deepened her resolve to defend the family at a time when it was becoming unpopular to do so. Her Instagram account, @ChristianOverCulture helps encourage people to view trends in society through a gospel lens. She teaches how to put Christ over the culture of the world and practice intentional discipleship.
The post Viewing Today’s Culture Through the Lens of the Gospel appeared first on FAIR.
by Brent Andrewsen at the 2024 FAIR Conference
How do we help our young people avoid deception, or keep them from “stumb[ling] exceedingly”? We keep the “plain and precious” parts of the gospel front and center in their lives.
Brent Andrewsen practices at a regional law firm with offices throughout the Intermountain West. He is the chairman of Sutherland Institute Board of Directors, an independent research and educational institution and think tank, whose mission is to advance civility, sound ideas, and principled public policy supporting faith, family and free enterprise. Brent serves as the chairman of Skyline Research Institute and is the former chairman of the Board of Directors at Kirton McConkie. He has an AV Preeminent peer rating from Martindale-Hubbell and is recognized as one of Utah’s Legal Elite for estate planning, a Mountain States Super Lawyer for estate planning and non-profits, and a Best Lawyer for trusts/estates and non-profits/charities. He was also honored by Utah Business magazine as a 40 Under 40 Rising Star. Brent earned his B.A. in political science from BYU and a J.D. cum laude from the Washington & Lee University Law School.
The post Preserving and Protecting “Plain and Precious” Truths In Our Families appeared first on FAIR.
“God loves all of us. He loves those of different faiths and those without any faith. He loves those who suffer. He loves the rich and poor alike. He loves people of every race and culture, the married or single, and those who experience same-sex attraction or identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. And God […]
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by Skyler Sorensen
(Originally posted at Public Square Magazine)
When choosing to associate with a group, you have to consider the implications and effects the group has as a whole. In recent years our prophets and apostles have implored us to seek to understand the experience of our LGBT+ brothers and sisters. At a BYU devotional in 2017, and in regard to members of the Church with an experience under the LGBT+ acronym, Elder Ballard said, “We must do better than we have done in the past so that all members feel they have a spiritual home where their brothers and sisters love them and where they have a place to worship and serve the Lord.”
At the same time, pride celebrations are advertised by many as the best way to show LGBT+ people love and support. This juxtaposition has led some to the conclusion that the brethren are instructing us to use pride celebrations as the catalyst for showing “support” for LGBT+ people. But what message are we sending when we support such a movement?
Church members who engage with pride do so either oblivious to the more radical and sexual aspects of the movement or ignore them—writing them off as mere aberrations to the general purpose of the movement. You can individually decide to engage with pride and have the best intentions, but that doesn’t mean you have control over the totality of the message it sends. As one in the thick of squaring my sexuality and religious values, I ask you to consider the impact pride has on the most impressionable members of the Church.
The Loudest Message of Pride
The pride movement isn’t a monolith or even a structured organization. There are gradations of radicalism within the pride movement, and there’s not one single organization we can point to and critique. We can, however, look at the trends and loudest opinions coming from those who engage with it.
During the summer of 2022, activists organized an unofficial event to welcome BYU freshmen to school. It was called “Back to School Pride Night” and included a drag event that was advertised as an “all-ages” event.
Ahead of the event, it received national criticism. In response to the backlash, the organization in charge of the event posted on Instagram that they made further efforts to ensure the event was family-friendly. This included having the performers only go by the first part of the drag queen’s name since many of them were sexual puns. Still, when videos of the event surfaced, a drag queen danced in explicitly sexual ways.
There are also events like the Loveloud music festival. Dan Reynolds of Imagine Dragons stands as an unofficial cultural leader of pride celebrations and puts on events like the Loveloud music festival. The goals of the event are two-fold: provide support for LGBT+ people, and campaign religious organizations like the Church to change their doctrine.
HBO funded a documentary that followed the creation of this event. At the climax of the film, there’s an introspective montage of Reynolds walking the grounds of Temple Square. The filmmakers juxtaposed these shots with footage from Elder Dallin H. Oaks’s talk “Love and Law,” in which he reaffirms the sanctity of marriage between man and woman. He gave this talk shortly after the first Loveloud festival. During the montage, they cut to Reynolds voicing his disappointment with Oaks’s message, as if to say, “We failed in our goal.” While it’s clear that cultural figures such as Reynolds have a genuine concern for LGBT+ people, it’s just as clear that they share a common goal: pressure the Church to change its doctrine regarding marriage.
Doctrinal Uncertainty
Pride celebrations have and continue to influence the culture of the Church. One of the effects of pride is the increase in doctrinal uncertainty and speculation. It’s all too common to run across members of the Church, with varying levels of activity, who entertain or sanction the idea of doctrine on the family changing to include same-sex unions or gender expansiveness. More often than not, these same church members are those who are also active in pride celebrations and view their political activism as a kind of missionary work. They take the more radical activists at their word that pride celebrations are the best way to show love, and they don’t dare to suggest other methods.
When we engage with the pride movement, whether intentionally or not, we are promoting the message that doctrinal change is the only acceptable way forward—or at least, that it’s a strong possibility. Please consider how spiritually damaging this message can be for gay/SSA and gender dysphoric Latter-day Saints.
Imagine you’re undergoing therapy, and your therapist helps you outline a plan of action to help you overcome some social anxiety you’ve been feeling. The plan is thorough, specific, and comprehensive. It outlines specific tasks for you to complete each day, goals to work toward, methods to overcome negative thought cycles, and a rough timeline for when to complete each thing. You both feel good about the plan, and you leave feeling motivated.
When you get back home, you get a text from your therapist:
“Oh, by the way, I may change my mind on all of what we talked about today before your next appointment.”
“You—what?” you ask.
“Yeah, I might decide that everything we outlined will actually make things worse for you. I haven’t decided yet, but it’s a pretty good possibility. Just do your best to stick to it, and we can discuss it at our next appointment. I’ll have my secretary message you if I change my mind.”
Would this make it easier or harder to follow the plan? Would it inspire or destroy confidence in your therapist? How are you supposed to follow the plan if it’s all but inevitable to change completely?
Now, raise the stakes to an infinite degree as we compare this analogy to the pursuit of eternal progression for gay Latter-day Saints. How are we supposed to commit ourselves to the gospel with the possibility of fundamental doctrinal changes hanging over our heads?
I didn’t grow up with that idea as a common talking point, but I can only imagine how difficult that would be to a young, impressionable, gay/SSA Latter-day Saint already having trouble finding their place in the Church. This type of thinking inevitably leads to a state of religious paralysis. Gay Latter-day Saints in this category likely wouldn’t want to leave the prescribed path of happiness they believe in so deeply, but committing themselves to something with such a flimsy foundation seems fruitless. So instead, they exist in religious limbo, too dedicated to Jesus Christ to leave the fold but too uncertain about the future of our doctrine to progress in a healthy direction. We talk at length about the mental health of gay/SSA and gender dysphoric Latter-day Saints, and rightly so. Aside from the obvious atrocity of familial shunning, what other factor could negatively impact their mental health as much as this type of religious whiplash?
Some see doctrinal speculation as a way of providing comfort for church members with these experiences. Squaring same-sex attraction with a covenant life isn’t easy, and it can cause real distress. When someone is feeling distressed, it’s natural to want to find someone or something accessible to blame. When someone we love is hurting, we feel a distinctive push to vindicate their suffering at any cost. In some cases, members of the Church with LGBT+ family or friends start viewing the doctrine of eternal families as an obstacle instead of the very reason for living the gospel. They start adopting what I call the “maybe someday” language, which acts as a band-aid for cognitive dissonance instead of setting them up for success on their spiritual journey.
The most compassionate thing we could do for gay/SSA and gender dysphoric Latter-day Saints is to treat them like any other church member—be forthright and understanding while discussing the doctrine of eternal families. Don’t relegate your message to a slew of speculation or empty promises. Teach the doctrine simply and with love, so we know what’s expected of us and can move forward in our pursuit to know Christ.
As Elder Ahmad S. Corbitt warned last General Conference, “These lesser, secular approaches are beneath you and can be lethal to the long-term faithfulness of your child … I know from personal experience that teaching your beloved child why we all desperately need Jesus Christ and how to apply His joyful doctrine is what will strengthen and heal him or her.”
How Can We Support?
There are better ways to support our LGBT+ brothers and sisters than engaging with pride celebrations. First, let us define our terms. What do our prophets and apostles mean when they implore us to “support” our LGBT+ brothers and sisters?
Many in activist circles have taken ownership of the word “support.” They’ve co-opted and thwarted definitions and terms, creating counterfeits of their purer essence. Instead of “bearing the burden and helping to lift,” the definition of “support” is now “champion and sanction.” We’ve also redefined other words.
“Kindness” has become “cheery, whole-hearted agreement.”
“Disagreement” now means “erasure.”
And “Love” is defined as “fully affirming my morality, choices, and actions.”
Not only does this make conversations more confusing, it makes them all but fruitless. Instead of talking with one another, we talk past each other, each using the same words to mean completely different things. Then, instead of arguing about the substance of an idea, we argue about definitions and then leave feeling frustrated rather than understood.
In the Book of Mormon, shortly after the prophet Lehi dies, Nephi speaks the words of his heart. “I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me. And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted. My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness;”
Recognizing that it was sin that caused his heart to groan, Nephi explained how God supported him through those trials. God didn’t just comfort Nephi during his trials; He didn’t just tell Nephi what he wanted to hear or only listen to his groaning; He helped Nephi leave his sins behind and cling to Him.
Same-sex relationships aren’t the only place we find sin. There are a host of ways we distance ourselves from God. But few sins are more celebrated than same-sex relationships. Few diversions from the covenant path are more lauded than gender transitions.
I’m not suggesting that we abrasively find every opportunity to tell those committing sexual sin that they are. There are different ways to stand for truth in different scenarios. When we’re speaking with an individual personally, we should handle it much differently than if we’re posting something publicly. What I am suggesting is that we remain mindful of the importance of pointing others to Christ. No path will lead to more joy than the covenant path.
As Elder D. Todd Christofferson reminded us, “… the first commandment must be first because attempts at love that are not grounded in God’s truths risk harming the person or persons we are trying to help.” When we value being right more than helping an individual, we’ll just push them further away. At the same time, if we value cordiality more than truth, we’ll quickly abandon truth in an attempt to remain cordial.
The balance of grace and truth is the hardest one to achieve; it’s also the most important. Without grace, we’ll serve as barriers to others finding Christ; without truth, our grace will comfort others in their voyage away from Christ.
It’s one thing to tolerate others celebrating what they want; it’s another thing entirely to join them in a celebration that serves to cut against our religious beliefs—beliefs of which, by our own admission, help the most vulnerable to succeed.
If we truly believe this is Christ’s Church restored to the earth, it makes sense to believe in the reality of the plan of salvation. If we believe in the reality of the plan of salvation, it’s morally consistent to believe that marriage between a man and a woman sets us on the spiritual trajectory toward ultimate and lasting joy. If someone we love is deviating from that plan, why would we celebrate that? We can honor their choices, maintain the relationship as much as they’re willing, and genuinely cheer on their successes in life. But having an understanding of the plan of salvation means pointing our loved ones toward the Savior, not the world.
Skyler Sorensen grew up in St. George, Utah as the 4th of 8 children. He is an active Latter-day Saint, gay, and married to his beautiful wife Amanda in a mixed-orientation marriage. He graduated from BYU with a bachelor’s in Media Arts and has always gravitated toward using creative avenues to promote his beliefs. He created and co-hosts the podcast “Sit Down with Sky and Preston”, dedicated to defending gospel principles through the lens of LGBTQ issues. The podcast recently switched to ”Sit Down with Sky and Amanda” for their new season, where Skyler’s wife, Amanda, joins him as cohost.
Skyler and Amanda have 2 children. Their first son, Milo, was born in August 2019 at 24 ½ weeks. After a few weeks of battling for his life in the NICU, he passed away in Amanda’s arms. After battling with infertility after Milo’s death, their daughter, Remi, was born in January of 2022 and is spoiled beyond belief.
They live in Utah County, and Skyler currently works as a video editor.
He has a firm belief in the Restoration of Christ’s church and a strong testimony of Jesus Christ in his role as Savior and Redeemer. He has a deep desire to explain simply the importance of living gospel principles, no matter your life circumstances.
The post Beyond the Rainbow: Supporting LGBT+ Saints Faithfully appeared first on FAIR.
On November 15, 2022, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints issued a statement on the Church Newsroom regarding its official position regarding the US Congress “Respect for Marriage Act” (RFMA).
To provide some context for this statement: the Respect for Marriage Act seeks to require the U.S. federal government recognize the validity of same-sex and interracial marriages in the United States. In the United States, this has been the de-facto status since the US Supreme Court ruled in 2015 that the 14th amendment to the Constitution requires all US States to recognize same-sex marriages1. The RFMA would officially codify this status into law, by making such recognition explicit.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has been unequivocal in its position on marriage – specifically holding the position that “marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.”2
With this in mind, some question why the church would seem to support the RFMA. This post is my attempt to provide some insight into why I think this could be. As always, the views expressed here are NOT the official position of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and are based solely on my own understanding and reasoning as a faithful member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
In its opening paragraph, the statement from the Church very clearly says: “The doctrine of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints related to marriage between a man and a woman is well known and will remain unchanged.” As such, it seems clear that the church does not intend its statement regarding the RFMA to indicate a change in doctrine or policy with regard to same-sex marriage.
The Church has been equally clear about following the law. As far back as 1842, when Joseph Smith wrote down the basic tenets that are today known as the Articles of Faith, the Church has had a fundamental doctrinal position of “obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law”.3
A presentation in November, 2021 from president Dallin H. Oaks of the First Presidency included a reinforcement of this principle, framing it specifically in the context of both law and fairness, especially as they pertain to religious freedom and nondiscrimination. President Oaks stated that “As a practical basis for co-existence, we should accept the reality that we are fellow citizens who need each other. This requires us to accept some laws we dislike, and to live peacefully with some persons whose values differ from our own.” He continued that a basic imperative of this reality is “that we should not seek total dominance for our own position; we should seek fairness for all.”4
I believe that the Church’s position on the RFMA is a practical application of this viewpoint: while the Church doctrine of marriage remains the same, there is room under the law to include fairness for all.
In the United States, our society grants those that enter into the civil contract of marriage with certain rights and privileges not given to those who do not. These rights affect things like medical care: for example, the ability to make decisions for loved ones that may be unable to decide for themselves, or the opportunity to visit with loved ones that may be admitted to a medical institution. The civil laws applicable to marriage also impact rights such as access to medical care through insurance programs, the ability to make decisions for loved ones in the event of death, and access to assets in that circumstance.
The Church recognizes that within the US, civil marriage has been defined to include unions between same-sex individuals. With that understanding, the best course of action, aligning with what President Oaks explained, is to not seek total dominance of having civil marriage redefined to meet the Church’s position, but to instead seek fairness for all. In this case, that fairness needs to meet two needs:
- Ensure that the rights and privileges society grants to those that enter into the civil contract of marriage are protected for all individuals that enter into that contract, including those that have historically been cut off from these privileges. In particular, in the US, this has a primary impact on the LGBTQ+ community.
- Ensure that the rights and privileges for faith-based institutions are not infringed upon by allowing them to continue to define and support the religious ordinance of marriage in the way they choose.
With the religious freedom protections included in the RFMA in its current form, the Church has indicated their belief that the act represents “the way forward”. It’s reasonable to conclude that this position is due to the act working to meet the two needs above, respecting the law and preserving the rights of both sides.
In reflecting on this balance, I couldn’t help but draw a comparison to the principle that Jesus taught in the gospel of Mark. In chapter 12 we read that the Pharisees came to Christ, and asked whether He thought tribute should be paid to Cæsar or not.
When asking the Savior this question, the Pharisees stated that they recognized that Jesus “regardest not the person of men, but teachest the way of God in truth”. In response, Christ asks them whose image is on the coins they pay tribute with. The answer, of course, was Cæsar’s image. Jesus then states the simple principle: “Render to Cæsar the things that are Cæsar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.”5
The position of the Pharisees in these verses seems similar to how some approach the Church’s position on marriage: if the Church seeks to teach the way of God, regardless of the positions held by any “person of men”, then how could it possibly support rights for marriage defined in a way that is different from what we believe God has decreed? For me, the answer is as simple as Christ’s was: we believe in obeying the laws of men. Those laws have decreed that marriage between same-sex individuals is permitted. Therefore, we “render unto [the law], that which is [the law’s]” – in this case, not a tribute of coins, but the protection of the rights and privileges our society gives to those who enter into legal marriage. By protecting the rights of religious institutions to define the ordinance of marriage as they wish, we “render unto God the things that are God’s”.
Returning to the talk that President Oaks gave, he stated that “The goals of both sides are best served by resolving differences through mutual respect, shared understanding, and good faith negotiations. And both must accept and respect the rule of law.” The wording of the Respect for Marriage Act is a good example of balancing the needs both sides have.
As I was writing this, the Senate passed the RFMA with bipartisan support, prompting the President of the United States to issue a statement asking that Congress “quickly send this bill to my desk where I will promptly sign it into law”.6
With this passage of the act, it seems advisable to now heed President Oaks and “accept and respect the rule of law”, and support the fairness that the RFMA seeks to provide. By respecting this fairness, the Church allows for a focus on showing kindness and love to our LGBTQ+ brothers and sisters, while also defending the right to ensure that the ordinance of marriage as performed by the Church aligns with what we believe God has prescribed for that ordinance.
Update (2022-11-28): The Deseret News published an article with additional insight from General Authority Seventy, Elder Jack N. Gerard. That article seems to provide similar reasoning as that presented here, and can be found on the Deseret News Website.
References
- In the legal case Obergefell v. Hodges
- The Family: A Proclamation To The World
- Articles of Faith 1:12
- Going Forward with Religious Freedom and Nondiscrimination
- Mark 12:13-17
- See: White House Press Statement
Jason is a neutral good hacker (aka cybersecurity professional) at a Fortune 500 software company, and is adjunct faculty at the Rochester Institute of Technology. He enjoys driving through the mountains and forests, photographing cool abandoned structures with his best friend and wife of 25+ years.
The post Examining the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints’ Statement on the US Congress “Respect For Marriage” Act appeared first on FAIR.
Seven years ago, a FAIR conference presentation identified a harmful ideology among some members of the Church of Jesus Christ. It claims that God gives revelations, visits, and special priesthood ordinations to individuals outside of church leadership, and that faithful church members should follow and obey those individuals, and believe the truth of their purported […]
The post Evaluating Claims that Contradict the Prophets appeared first on FAIR.
BYU unquestionably made the right choice to remove an LGBT “resource pamphlet” from freshman welcome bags, but the public doesn’t understand why. Reporting has sympathetically portrayed student activists and their purported good motives, but failed to detail their disturbing and harmful recommendations. The latest tempest in the social media teapot features yet another clash between […]
The post What You Didn’t Hear About the LGBT Pamphlet at BYU appeared first on FAIR.
Trying to Serve the Lord Without Offending the Devil By Nick Galieti (Originally published on February 11, 2015 as part of our “Rise Up” podcast for youth) When it comes to living our lives, we have a lot of choices placed before us. We have our choice of schools to attend after high school, or even […]
The post Come, Follow Me Week 22 – Joshua 1–8; 23–24 appeared first on FAIR.
Rejecting the Living Prophets by Following Future Prophets by J. Max Wilson (Adapted from his post at Sixteen Small Stones) One of the key doctrines of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is that we have living prophets and apostles today who are authorized by God to receive revelations for the Church and […]
The post Come, Follow Me Week 20 – Numbers 11-14; 20-24 appeared first on FAIR.
The world is full of delightful people pursuing delightful accomplishments, and the gospel promotes love, hope, and unity. How blessed the day when we’ll be able to think only of lovely and praiseworthy things! Unfortunately, scripture’s plain warnings about sin and wickedness are still relevant, and we can’t just ignore them no matter how hard […]
The post The Motte, the Bailey, and the Gospel of Instagram appeared first on FAIR.
FAIR, a volunteer organization that provides information about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, has prepared a thorough explainer regarding aversion therapy, Brigham Young University (BYU), and President Dallin H. Oaks. President Oaks was president of BYU from 1971 to 1980. During that time, psychology graduate student Max McBride conducted research on aversion therapy, […]
The post Aversion Therapy at BYU appeared first on FAIR.
Worldview Apologetics: Revealing the Waters in Which We Swim by Jeffrey Thayne (This is from a presentation given at the 2021 FAIR Conference) Introduction Let’s imagine two roommates, James and Greg, who both attend BYU. They live under the same roof, they are both practicing Latter-day Saints, and they both claim to believe in the […]
The post Come, Follow Me Week 9 – Genesis 24–27 appeared first on FAIR.
This podcast series features past FAIR Conference presentations. This presentation is from our 2021 conference held in August. If you would like to watch all the presentations from the conference, you can still purchase the video streaming. John Gee, Lessons on Doing Apologetics John Gee’s books are for sale in the FAIR bookstore. John Gee is […]
The post FAIR Conference Podcast #75 – John Gee, “Lessons on Doing Apologetics” appeared first on FAIR.
The Proclamation Is a Light Against Sophistry by Cassandra Hedelius In September 1995, President Hinckley used a big word. “With so much of sophistry that is passed off as truth, with so much of deception concerning standards and values, with so much of allurement and enticement to take on the slow stain of the world, […]
The post Come, Follow Me Week 51 – The Family: A Proclamation to the World appeared first on FAIR.
This podcast series features past FAIR Conference presentations. This presentation is from our 2021 conference held in August. If you would like to watch all the presentations from the conference, you can still purchase the video streaming. Stephen Smoot, Abraham and the Stranger at Sodom and Gomorrah: Reading the Bible and Navigating LGBT Identity Stephen O. […]
The post FAIR Conference Podcast #70 – Stephen Smoot, “Abraham and the Stranger at Sodom and Gomorrah: Reading the Bible and Navigating LGBT Identity” appeared first on FAIR.
We Believe All that God Has Revealed by Cassandra Hedelius On social media and other discussions, it’s very common for LGBT activists/allies to invoke the ninth Article of Faith. They take for granted that the church’s teachings on marriage and sexuality are wrong, and assert that God will soon change them. After all, “we believe […]
The post Come, Follow Me Week 50 – Articles of Faith and Official Declarations 1 & 2 appeared first on FAIR.
This podcast series features past FAIR Conference presentations. This presentation is from our 2021 conference held in August. If you would like to watch the presentations from the conference, you can still purchase the video streaming. Edwin E. Gantt, Agentic Sexuality: How a Latter-day Saint Perspective Can Rescue Humanity from the Tyranny of the Abstract […]
The post FAIR Conference Podcast #65 – Edwin E. Gantt, “Agentic Sexuality: How a Latter-day Saint Perspective Can Rescue Humanity from the Tyranny of the Abstract” appeared first on FAIR.
This podcast series features past FAIR Conference presentations. This presentation is from our 2021 conference held in August. If you would like to watch the presentations from the conference, you can still purchase the video streaming. Carl Trueman, The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self: Cultural Amnesia, Expressive Individualism, and the Road to Sexual […]
The post FAIR Conference Podcast #63 – Carl Trueman, “The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self: Cultural Amnesia, Expressive Individualism, and the Road to Sexual Revolution” appeared first on FAIR.
These three presentations are important to families and Church leaders of all faiths. We hope you will watch them and share them with your Latter-day Saint, and non-Latter-day Saint, friends. Jeffrey Thayne – “Worldview Apologetics: Revealing the Waters in Which We Swim” (transcript) Carl Trueman – “The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self: Cultural Amnesia, […]
The post Three Important FAIR Conference Presentations to Help Parents, Leaders, and Other Teachers of Children and Youth appeared first on FAIR.
by Cassandra Hedelius Late last year, I started brainstorming suggestions for who we could invite to present at the 2021 FAIR conference. We usually look for presenters to counter criticisms of the church on issues like polygamy, Book of Mormon translation, and race. But in addition to these, I wanted this conference to provide […]
The post Three Conference Presentations Now Available to Help Parents, Leaders, and Other Teachers of Children and Youth appeared first on FAIR.
Members of the Church and interested outsiders have noted that the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ recently announced a change of its policy regarding same-sex behavior and the blessing or baptism by custodial parents in same-sex relationships.[1] Such changes in policy are not unexpected. As President Boyd K. Packer taught: Procedures, programs, […]
The post A Look at the Church’s Change of Policy on Same-Sex Couples and their Children appeared first on FAIR.
This podcast series features past FairMormon Conference presentations. This episode is a presentation from our 2018 conference. (If you would like to watch the video of this and the other presentations from the 2018 conference, you can still purchase video streaming.) Jeff Robinson, Thinking Differently About Same-Sex Attraction Transcript available here. Dr. Robinson received his Ph.D. in […]
The post FairMormon Conference Podcast #25 – Jeff Robinson, “Thinking Differently About Same-Sex Attraction” appeared first on FAIR.
[Jim Bennett is the author of “A Faithful Reply to the CES Letter from a Former CES Employee“] So it’s been a few days since Bill Reel published our twelve hours of recorded conversations we had for his Mormon Discussions podcast. And since then, I’ve been wading through the comments and finding that the consensus […]
The post Jim Bennett: Standing My Ground appeared first on FAIR.
This podcast series features past FairMormon Conference presentations. This episode is a presentation from 2017. If you would like to watch the presentations from the conference we had earlier this month, you can still purchase video streaming. Scott Petersen, Jesus Christ, the Same Yesterday, Today, and Forever: A Restoration of Primitive Christianity Transcript available here. Scott is […]
The post FairMormon Conference Podcast #12 – Scott Petersen, “Jesus Christ, the Same Yesterday, Today, and Forever: A Restoration of Primitive Christianity” appeared first on FAIR.
Cross-posted from From the Desk of Kurt Manwaring I recently had the privilege to interview Dennis B. Horne. Horne is the author of many books, including Bruce R. McConkie: Highlights from his Life and Teachings, Latter Leaves in the Life of Lorenzo Snow, I Know He Lives: How 13 Special Witnesses Came to Know Christ, and Determining Doctrine. A […]
The post 10 Questions with Dennis B. Horne appeared first on FAIR.
This is a guest post from Debra Oaks Coe, who is a member of the Executive Committee of the Utah Commission for LGBT Suicide Awareness and Prevention and Lead of the Anti-Discrimination Committee for Mormon Women for Ethical Government. “What is changing – and what needs to change – is to help Church members respond sensitively […]
The post LGBT Youth Suicides: What Needs to Change appeared first on FAIR.
Every individual lost to suicide is a tragedy, and there should be no room for excluding or ostracizing anyone because of their sexual orientation, including and especially within families. As of 2015, Utah ranks 6th in the nation in suicides of people ages 10 to 24 (at a rate of 16.66 per 100,000), so clearly […]
The post Gay Youth Suicides in Utah appeared first on FAIR.
Recently, a video has been on social media about a 12 year old young woman speaking in a testimony meeting about being gay. This is being promoted as a heartfelt moment of tenderness, only to be ruined by the bad stake leader, who happened to be on the stand that day, who asked her to […]
The post Of Testimonies and Twelve Year Olds appeared first on FAIR.
In the prologue of A Reason for Faith, the editor, Laura Hales, lays out the purpose of the book. Members of the church sometimes come across new information in an unfriendly setting that damages their faith. This book is a compilation of articles about many of the topics that are not often discussed in a church or family […]
The post Book Review: A Reason for Faith: Navigating LDS Doctrine & Church History appeared first on FAIR.
It has been a volatile and emotional few days since the leak of new Church policies regarding same-sex marriage and children being raised in such marriages. We have discussed those matters already, and Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Twelve has explained some of their rationale as well. The First Presidency also recently released further […]
The post Some Mistaken Claims Associated with the Church’s Policies Regarding Same-Sex Marriage appeared first on FAIR.
The Church recently confirmed some changes to its Handbook of Instructions provided to bishops and stake presidents. The Handbook prescribes doctrines, policies, and procedures for administering the Church and serving members. The changes are three-fold: Those who enter into a same-sex marriage are considered apostate, and will need to undergo Church discipline possibly resulting in […]
The post A Look at the Church’s New Policy on Children of Gay Couples appeared first on FAIR.
FairMormon’s Front Page News Review is a podcast where we provide context and analysis of the past week’s media coverage of Mormons and the LDS church. Hosted by Nick Galieti and manager of the FairMormon Front Page news service, Cassandra Hedelius. What we present is not to be understood as being the official position of […]
The post Front Page News Review Podcast #9 – Week of May 24th, 2015 appeared first on FAIR.
In this episode of RiseUp, Nick Galieti interviews Rod Olson in a very candid discussion of the challenges of living an active LDS lifestyle while identifying as being homosexual (or what some describe Same Sex Attraction.) Born and raised in Northern California, Rod was introduced to the Church as a young child through his mother, who […]
The post RiseUp Podcast – Interview with Rod Olson appeared first on FAIR.
In this episode of RiseUp, Nick Galieti interviews a Young Women from Southern Californa named Mikalya. Mikayla’s parents were members so she was born into the church and baptized when she was 8. But it wasn’t until she turned 13 that she really dove into the gospel. Before that, she was relatively inactive for a […]
The post RiseUp Podcast – The H Word appeared first on FAIR.
FairMormon’s Front Page News Review provides context and analysis of the past week’s media coverage of Mormons and the LDS church. Hosted by Nick Galieti and manager of the FairMormon Front Page news service, Cassandra Hedelius. What we present is not to be understood as being the official position of FairMormon or The Church of […]
The post Front Page News Review #7 appeared first on FAIR.
Welcome to FairMormon’s Front Page News Review for the fourth week of January, 2015. Here we provide context and analysis of the past week’s media coverage of Mormons and the LDS church. Front Page News Review is hosted Nick Galieti and manager of the FairMormon Front Page news service, Cassandra Hedelius. We hope this will be […]
The post Front Page News Review Podcast #3 appeared first on FAIR.
[This post originally appeared at Virtuous Society and is reposted here with the author’s permission.] Written by Tom Stringham Do young Latter-day Saints, and especially gay youth, commit suicide at a higher rate than other youth in the US? The short answer: with the data we have, we don’t know. So what do we know […]
The post Re-examining gay Mormon youth and suicide: What does the data say? appeared first on FAIR.
I always look forward to the time that General Conference rolls around. Listening to the inspiring words of our leaders lift my spirit and renew my commitment to follow my Savior. My favorite talks are the ones that call me to action. They help me see doctrine in a new light and inspire me to […]
The post The Gospel is for Everyone appeared first on FAIR.
There are many paths by which we might return to God, or so some would claim. “Organized religion is not necessary” they might say, “and is too prone to abuse by those who would use it to control their fellow man.” Others who disbelieve in God entirely think it is but an opiate to the […]
The post Why I Still Choose To Believe appeared first on FAIR.
Joshua Johanson, a scheduled speaker at the 2012 FAIR conference on August 2-3 in Sandy, Utah appeared recently on K-Talk radio to discuss his experience as an active Mormon who experiences same-sex attraction, and who is also happily married to a woman. “Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints can find happiness […]
The post Mormon FAIR-Cast 94: Gay Mormon Finds Happiness in Church’s Teachings appeared first on FAIR.
Dr. Eugene Thorne was a member of the psychology department at BYU during the 1970s, and was involved with studies into what is called “aversion therapy.” In this interview, Dr. Thorne explains the studies that were done, and helps clear up some of the misperceptions, false innuendo, and outright lies that have been told regarding […]
The post FAIR Examination 8: Aversion Therapy at BYU–Dr. Eugene Thorne appeared first on FAIR.
David Matheson is a licensed professional counselor at the Center for Gender Wholeness in Salt Lake City, Utah. His practice focuses on helping people with unwanted same-sex attraction. David received his Masters of Science degree in Counseling and Guidance from Brigham Young University in 1996. Afterwards, he practiced for seven years as a psychological assistant under Dr. Joseph Nicolosi. During […]
The post FAIR Examination 7: Therapy and same-sex attraction–David Matheson appeared first on FAIR.
Blake Smith is a member of the church who has a history with same sex attraction. In this interview, he shares how he reconciled his sexual attractions to men with the gospel of Jesus Christ and how the law of chastity has brought him peace. He begins talking about his unsuccessful attempts at aversion therapy and subsequent failed marriage. […]
The post FAIR Examination 6: Overcoming same-sex attraction–Blake Smith appeared first on FAIR.
This is the third of a three-part interview.
The post FAIR Examination 5c: Marriage to a man with same-sex attraction–Joshua & Alyssa Johanson appeared first on FAIR.
This is the second part of a three-part episode.
The post FAIR Examination 5b: Marriage to a man with same-sex attraction–Joshua & Alyssa Johanson appeared first on FAIR.
How does a man with same-sex attraction find the only woman in the world to whom he is attracted? In this interview, Joshua Johanson talks about his history with same-sex attraction, his experience as a BYU student and as a member of a singles ward, and introduces us to his wife, Alyssa Johanson. Alyssa shares […]
The post FAIR Examination 5a: Marriage to a man with same-sex attraction–Joshua & Alyssa Johanson appeared first on FAIR.
Fred & Marilyn Matis are Co-Authors with Ty Mansfield of the book published by Deseret Book called, “In Quiet Desperation: Understanding the Challenge of Same Gender Attraction.” Fred and Marilyn are the parents of Stuart Matis, a young man who struggled with same gender attraction. After successfully serving a mission for the LDS Church, Stuart […]
The post FAIR Examination 4: Fred & Marilyn Matis appeared first on FAIR.
This is the second part of a two part interview.
The post FAIR Examination 3b: Two mothers of sons with same gender attraction appeared first on FAIR.
How do Mormon parents respond when they find out they have a son or daughter with same sex attraction? What happens when the child decides the leave the Church and engage in homosexual activity? What can parents do to show love for such a child while still remaining faithful to the Church? In this episode, […]
The post FAIR Examination 3a: Two mothers of sons with same gender attraction appeared first on FAIR.
When we think of people with same sex attraction, we usually don’t imagine a temple-married, active LDS, mother of two. Yet that is what we find in this interview with “Samantha.” Interestingly, a person such as she may not be as uncommon as we often believe. LDS Family Social Services estimates that 4-5 members […]
The post FAIR Examination 2: An active LDS mother with same gender attraction appeared first on FAIR.
This is the second half of a two part interview with Steven Wilson.
The post FAIR Examination 1b: Why would a gay man with AIDS join the Church? appeared first on FAIR.
Steven Wilson is a member of the Church living in the San Francisco Bay area. Twenty years ago, he was introduced to the Church by a recently returned missionary he met in a gay bar. The two eventually moved in together and during the next seven years, Steven developed addictions, contracted AIDS and became severely […]
The post FAIR Examination 1a: Why would a gay man with AIDS join the Church? appeared first on FAIR.