Unraveling Adoption: Recent Episodes
Beth Syverson
"So the piece that I most resonate with the Dialectical Behavior Therapy is it's one of the therapies that really understands this core feeling of feeling overwhelmed and like you don't want to be alive." - Sharon Stein McNamara
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Sharon Stein McNamara, a licensed psychologist and adoption-competent therapist. Sharon, an adoptee herself, shared her personal journey and the profound impact of adoption on her life, particularly during her adolescent years when she faced suicidal thoughts after a breakup.
We delved into the complexities of adoption and how they can lead to feelings of self-loathing and overwhelming distress, especially among adoptees. Sharon introduced us to Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), a therapeutic approach that has been particularly effective for adopted adolescents and young adults. She explained how DBT incorporates mindfulness and distress tolerance skills, which are crucial for individuals who may feel their emotions are too intense to manage.
Throughout our conversation, Sharon emphasized the importance of recognizing and validating these feelings rather than dismissing them. She shared her own experiences with DBT and how it helped her and her clients navigate the challenges of attachment and self-worth. We discussed the significance of shifting core beliefs about oneself, especially for adoptees who may struggle with feelings of being unwanted or unworthy.
Sharon's insights provided hope and practical tools for families and individuals impacted by adoption. She encouraged listeners to never give up hope on adoptees, as the right support and understanding can lead to healing and growth.
I hope this episode resonates with anyone who has been touched by adoption or is seeking effective therapeutic tools to support themselves or their loved ones. Thank you for joining us, and please share this episode with anyone who might benefit from Sharon's expertise.
===============
đGet our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Sharonâs information:
- Look up Sharonâs website: Sharonsteinmcnamara.com
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- Hereâs the book Sharon referenced: How to Break Your Addiction to a Person: When--and Why--Love Doesn't Work : https://www.amazon.com/Break-Your-Addiction-Person-When/dp/0553382497
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS
00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption 00:01:30 - Guest Introduction: Sharon Stein McNamara 00:02:00 - Sharon's Adoption Story 00:03:40 - Understanding DBT and Its Relevance 00:04:50 - The Importance of Distress Tolerance 00:06:30 - DBT vs. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy 00:08:30 - Grounding Techniques in DBT 00:10:00 - Building Trust with Clients 00:10:30 - Working with Adoptees in Therapy 00:11:00 - Self-Loathing and Adoptee Experiences 00:12:30 - Personal Story: Overcoming Breakup Trauma 00:15:00 - The Impact of Attachment on Relationships 00:17:00 - DBT Skills for Managing Cravings 00:19:00 - The Role of Core Beliefs in Healing 00:21:00 - Finding a DBT-Trained Therapist 00:23:00 - Outcomes of DBT for Adoptees 00:25:00 - Final Thoughts and Resources 00:26:00 - Conclusion and Call to Action
"I was one of these slight skeptics; I was like, well I've been breathing all my life, what can breathwork do for me?" -- Kellan Bacon
Hear the transcript of this episode here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JKBNQJYFFZT18Z0XSMHHTH37
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Kellan Bacon, a gender-expansive, transracial adoptee from China, who was adopted as an infant in 1998 and now resides in Cardiff, Wales. Kellan has recently launched a professional practice called Kai Ming Holistics, where they utilize breathwork and other embodied modalities to support others on their healing journeys.
Kellan shared their personal adoption story, highlighting the complexities and challenges they faced growing up in a transracial family. They discussed the common narrative of being "saved" through adoption and how they eventually came to realize the profound impact of adoption trauma on their life. This awakening occurred during a mental health crisis around the age of 20, leading Kellan to explore their identity and the interconnectedness of their experiences as an adoptee and a queer individual.
We delved into the transformative power of breathwork, a healing modality that Kellan discovered during the COVID-19 pandemic. They explained how breathwork can help individuals access and process trauma stored in the body, particularly for adoptees who may have pre-verbal or pre-cognitive trauma. Kellan emphasized the importance of having a trained guide during breathwork sessions to ensure safety and support.
===============
đGet our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Kellanâs information:
- Kellanâs Substack: https://kellanbacon.substack.com/
- Find Kellan on Instagram both ways at: https://www.instagram.com/kaimingholistics/ AND/OR https://www.instagram.com/kellanbacon/
- Find Kellan on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/kellan.x.bacon
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS
00:00:00 - Welcome and Introduction Introduction to the podcast and the host, Beth Syverson, along with her son Joey's journey.
00:01:05 - Meet Kellen Bacon Introduction of guest Kellen Bacon, a transracial adoptee and breathwork practitioner.
00:01:48 - Kellen's Adoption Story Kellen shares their adoption experience and the realization of adoption's impact.
00:03:15 - Coming Out of the Fog Discussion on the awakening to adoption trauma and its effects on mental health.
00:04:30 - Transracial Adoption Experience Kellen discusses growing up as a transracial adoptee and the challenges faced.
00:06:04 - Exploring Gender Identity Kellen talks about their journey of coming to terms with their gender identity.
00:07:01 - The Intersection of Identities Discussion on how various aspects of identity intertwine and impact personal growth.
00:08:34 - COVID and Breathwork Kellen shares how COVID led them to discover breathwork as a healing modality.
00:10:01 - Understanding Breathwork Explanation of breathwork and its unique approach to healing trauma.
00:11:08 - Demonstration of Breathwork Kellen provides a brief demonstration of breathwork techniques.
00:12:24 - Safety in Breathwork Discussion on the importance of having a guide during breathwork sessions.
00:15:09 - Breathwork for Adoptees Exploration of how breathwork can specifically benefit adoptees dealing with trauma.
00:16:39 - Trauma in the Body Kellen explains how trauma is stored in the body and the importance of somatic healing.
00:19:30 - Kellen's Offerings Information on Kellen's practice, including support groups for trans-adoptees.
00:20:20 - Root Cause Healing Introduction to root cause therapy and its significance in addressing limiting beliefs.
00:22:26 - Kellen's Journey and Age Discussion on Kellen's age and their deep work in healing and therapy.
00:23:30 - Closing Thoughts Final remarks on the importance of breathwork and resources for adoptees.
"I think she had a deep ambivalence about me, knowing me, having a relationship with me from the very beginning." -- Susan Kiyo Ito
Read the transcript of this episode here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JJYRPQ0EJEGKW4GNXFMCA8CV
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Susan Kiyo Ito, a writing professor and author of the memoir I Would Meet You Anywhere. Susan's book, a culmination of 30 years of work, explores her journey as a biracial adopteeâhalf Japanese and half whiteâwho was adopted at three and a half months old by Japanese American parents.
We delved into Susan's origin story, her relationship with her adoptive parents, and her deep desire to connect with her birth mother, Yumi. Susan described Yumi as a charismatic yet ambivalent figure, reflecting on the complexities of their relationship and the cultural stigma surrounding adoption in Japanese society.
Throughout our conversation, we discussed the emotional weight of adoption, the challenges of identity, and the universal longing for connection that many adoptees experience. Susan shared how writing her memoir was a healing process, allowing her to articulate her experiences and put down the burdens she had carried for so long.
We also touched on the misconceptions surrounding adoption, particularly the notion of "luck," and how important it is for adoptive parents to support their children in their search for identity and connection without imposing their own feelings onto them.
As we wrapped up, Susan encouraged listeners to embrace their stories and consider the power of sharing their experiences. Her insights and reflections provide a valuable perspective on the complexities of adoption, making this episode a must-listen for anyone impacted by adoption or interested in understanding its nuances.
===============
đGet our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Susanâs information:
- Explore Susanâs website and purchase her memoir: https://www.thesusanito.com/
- Find her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/susan.ito
- Find her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thesusanito/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS:
00:00:12 - Meet the Host and Guest 00:00:44 - Susan Kiyo Ito's Memoir Journey 00:01:27 - Personal Connections and Background 00:02:38 - Susan's Adoption Story 00:04:37 - Cultural Heritage and Upbringing 00:05:37 - Describing Yumi: The Birth Mother 00:06:48 - Cultural Stigma and Secrets 00:07:02 - The Significance of the Title 00:09:46 - Personal Growth and Boundaries 00:10:44 - Emotional Release After Publishing 00:11:28 - The Weight of Connection 00:12:45 - The Complexity of Relationships 00:14:25 - Validation from Other Adoptees 00:15:10 - Sensory Details in Writing 00:16:37 - The Role of Journaling 00:18:19 - Exploring Alternative Life Paths 00:20:54 - Reflections on Luck in Adoption 00:22:54 - Advice for Adoptive Parents 00:25:45 - Support and Understanding 00:26:29 - The Sound of Names 00:27:28 - Connecting with the Author 00:29:33 - Closing Thoughts and Future Works
"The most healing thing for me now has been the support of other adoptees." -- Dave Sanchez-Brown
Read the transcript of this episode here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JJD8EF1R7VJ6J0V5GXRWXJY4
===============
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Dave Sanchez-Brown, an adoptee who has bravely navigated the complexities of adoption, mental health struggles, and addiction.
Dave shared his adoption story, which took a significant turn after he read Dani Shapiro's memoir Inheritance. Inspired, he decided to take a DNA test, leading him to uncover his biological family and the trauma associated with his past. He discussed the overwhelming emotions that surfaced as he connected with his roots, including the discovery of a family history marked by addiction.
Throughout our conversation, Dave highlighted the importance of community and peer support in his recovery journey. He emphasized that finding others who share similar experiences has been more therapeutic than traditional therapy. We also touched on the stigma surrounding addiction and mental health, and how society often lacks empathy for those struggling.
As we wrapped up, Dave offered valuable advice for adoptive parents, urging them to be aware of their children's emotional needs and the potential for feelings of alienation. He encouraged parents to seek their own healing to better support their kids.
This episode is a powerful reminder of the resilience of the human spirit and the importance of connection in healing. I hope Dave's story inspires listeners to seek support and understanding, whether they are adoptees, adoptive parents, or anyone affected by mental health challenges. Thank you for joining us, and remember to stay safe and connected.
===============
đGet our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Daveâs information:
- Follow Dave as The Rebellious Adoptee on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/therebelliousadoptee
- And find him as The Rebellious Adoptee on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therebelliousadoptee/
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- Dani Shapiroâs memoir Inheritance: https://www.amazon.com/Inheritance-Memoir-Genealogy-Paternity-Love/dp/0525434038
- DNA Detectives Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/DNADetectives/
- Search Angels: https://www.searchangels.org
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS
00:00:00 - Introduction to Adoption Healing Quest 00:02:00 - Introducing Dave Sanchez-Brown 00:02:21 - Dave's Adoption Story Begins 00:03:36 - The Impact of DNA Testing 00:04:21 - Finding Biological Family 00:05:59 - Discovering Family History and Addiction 00:07:28 - Understanding Genetic Influences 00:08:09 - Adoptive Family Dynamics 00:09:00 - Childhood Trauma and Coping Mechanisms 00:10:54 - First Suicide Attempt and Hospitalization 00:12:22 - Parental Reactions to Suicidal Behavior 00:13:27 - Surviving Through Activities and Friendships 00:14:50 - Moving to San Francisco and Coming Out 00:16:09 - The AIDS Crisis and Its Impact 00:18:25 - Struggles with Addiction Post-Partner's Death 00:20:01 - Creating a Fictitious Family 00:21:11 - Revisiting Addiction and Recovery 00:22:35 - Turning Point: Moving to New York 00:23:29 - Support from Other Adoptees 00:24:10 - Coming Out of the Adoption Fog 00:25:03 - Intergenerational Trauma and Its Effects 00:26:43 - Reclaiming Identity as the Rebellious Adoptee 00:27:20 - Navigating the Complexities of Adoption 00:29:20 - Advice for Adoptive Parents 00:32:05 - The Importance of Empathy and Support 00:33:35 - Connecting with the Community 00:34:42 - Final Thoughts, Encouragement, and Resources
"It's a deep rooted fear of every adoptive parent that the parent will get rejected." - Dr. Asra Ali
Read the transcript of this episode here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JHS4S4K9DW0G3AZRZKWG970A
===============
Join Unraveling Adoption's in-person Adoption Healing Quest in Seal Beach, CA on February 8, 2025. More info and registration here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/adoption-healing-quest-an-interactive-event-for-the-adoption-community-tickets-1095804814699?aff=oddtdtcreator
===============
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Dr. Asra Ali, an adoptee from India whose adoption was facilitated by Mother Teresa. Dr. Asra shared her unique adoption story, highlighting the positive experiences she had growing up in a loving family that embraced her identity as an adopted child from a young age.
We delved into the cultural narratives surrounding adoption in India, discussing the historical preference for male children and the significant shifts that have occurred over the years. Dr. Asra explained how adoption practices have evolved, moving from informal arrangements to more structured legal processes to combat issues like human trafficking.
As a psychologist and child and family therapist, Dr. Asra works with adoptive families in India, helping them navigate the complexities of adoption. She emphasized the importance of honesty and emotional support for adopted children, noting that many adoptive parents struggle with insecurity and often keep the child's adoption a secret. This can lead to emotional disconnects and challenges for the child.
Throughout our conversation, Dr. Asra provided valuable insights into the common mistakes adoptive parents make and the need for open communication about adoption. She also shared her mixed feelings about her own adoption, reflecting on the unanswered questions regarding her biological family.
Listeners will find this episode enlightening as we explore the intricacies of adoption in India and the universal themes that resonate with adoptive families worldwide. Dr. Asra's work is a testament to the importance of understanding and supporting adopted children, and I encourage anyone interested in this topic to reach out to her for guidance.
===============
đGet our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Dr. Asraâs information:
- Find Dr. Asra on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.asraali25/
- Call Dr. Asra on Mobile/Whatsapp: 9742163606 (India)
- Email Dr. Asra: asraali1989@gmail.com
People throughout the world can reach out to Dr. Asra for various counselling therapy sessions
- Depression
- Adoption
- Emotional distress
- Low self esteem
- Public speaking issues/ Social issues
- Parenting and its types
- How to handle teenages
- Impact of Covid on my child's mental health, emotional, social and cognitive decline
- Grief counselling
- Loss of a dear one OR pet counselling
- Early childhood years challenges
- Handling children with emotional distress
- Importance of nutrition
- Mind and body healing
- Astro travel journey
- Healing the child in you
- Impact of food on my body
- Positive attitude towards self and other
- Working on negative emotions and energy
- Communication and its importance for my healing
Price for 1-hour session:
US$: 80 dollars
Canada: 90 USD/CAD
UAE: 1000 AED
India: 2000 inr
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- The other Indian adoptee guest on our podcast: âPride and Resilience: A Transgender Adoptee's Pathâ with Sanjay Pulver: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/31826567
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS:
00:00:00 - Introduction
00:01:00 - Meet Dr. Asra AliIntroduction of Dr. Asra Ali, an adoptee from India, and her unique adoption story facilitated by Mother Teresa.
00:03:00 - Cultural Perspectives on Adoption in India Discussion on the cultural status of adoption in India, including gender preferences and historical practices.
00:06:00 - Domestic vs. International Adoption Insights into the prevalence of domestic adoption in India compared to international adoption and the challenges involved.
00:10:00 - Common Mistakes by Adoptive Parents Dr. Asra discusses the importance of honesty and the emotional disconnect often seen in adoptive families.
00:15:00 - Reflections on Identity and Biological Roots Exploration of Dr. Asra's feelings about her adoption, her desire to learn about her biological parents, and the concept of twinship among adoptees.
00:20:00 - Advice for Adoptive Parents Dr. Asra offers guidance on how adoptive parents can better support their children and the importance of personal growth.
00:24:00 - Closing Remarks and Resources Beth shares information about upcoming events related to adoption healing and how to connect with Dr. Asra.
"I was able to kind of reinvent myself into who I probably would have been at some level had I not been adopted." -- Brad Ewell
Read the transcript: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JGAR0QVDBKHQG88R7JAJ292Z
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the honor of speaking with Brad Ewell, a late discovery adoptee (LDA) who learned about his adoption at the age of 48. Brad shared his shocking journey of self-discovery after taking an ancestry DNA test, which revealed a truth that had been hidden from him for nearly five decades.
He discussed the confusion and betrayal he felt upon learning that everyone around him had known he was adopted, while he had no idea. Brad reflected on his upbringing, his struggles with identity, and how he tried to fit into a life that never felt quite right.
Our conversation also explored Brad's reconnection with his biological family, including his birth father, who had been incarcerated for decades. This relationship has provided him with unexpected closure and understanding.
Brad emphasized the importance of community and therapy for those navigating similar experiences, highlighting the need for openness in adoption. His story serves as a powerful reminder of the significance of truth and the healing that can come from embracing one's identity.
===============
Join our in-person Adoption Healing Quest in Seal Beach, CA on February 8, 2025. More info and registration here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/adoption-healing-quest-an-interactive-event-for-the-adoption-community-tickets-1095804814699?aff=oddtdtcreator
RESOURCES:
Bradâs information:
- Here are all of Bradâs blog posts and links: https://linktr.ee/LDA_BRAD?utm_source=linktree_profile_share
"I truly felt the weight of the world telling the story. I felt like it was a great responsibility, but I had to do it." -- Kristal Parke
Read the Transcript here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JG7AR0SN4Y6M7WW6E7WEK0AT
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Kristal Parke, a talented filmmaker and adoptee, about her acclaimed documentary, Because She's Adopted. As we kick off 2025, we are excited to offer a replay of our conversation, which dives deep into the complexities of adoption and the personal journey Kristal undertook while creating her film.
Kristal shares her experiences growing up as a Canadian adoptee, her reunion with her birth mother, and her struggles with addiction and identity. We discuss the unique aspects of her story, including the impact of her Indigenous heritage and the challenges she faced in reconnecting with that part of herself. Kristal's film has resonated with many, winning awards and touching the hearts of viewers, including her own family and film crew.
Throughout our conversation, we explore the emotional weight of telling one's story and the healing that comes from vulnerability. Kristal's journey not only highlights the importance of understanding adoption from multiple perspectives but also emphasizes the ongoing impact it has on families and future generations.
Join us for a screening of Because She's Adopted on January 11th, 2025, where you can engage with Kristal and ask questions about her powerful work. This episode is a heartfelt reminder of the complexities of adoption and the importance of sharing our stories. Thank you for listening, and I hope you enjoy this insightful conversation with Kristal Parke.
Join Kristal for an online screening of Because Sheâs Adopted on January 11, 2025, at 4pm PST / 7pm EST, including a Q&A with Kristal afterwards. More information and tickets are here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/online-screening-of-kristal-parkes-documentary-because-shes-adopted-wqa-tickets-1097838266809?aff=oddtdtcreator
===============
đGet our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Kristalâs information:
- Check our Kristalâs filmâs website to keep informed of future events: KristalParke.net
- Follow the film at Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61551013663413
- Or on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/becauseshesadopted/
- Email Kristal at Kristal@BecauseShesAdopted.com
- Watch a trailer of the film Because Sheâs Adopted: https://youtu.be/uCnQPDnxgA0?si=VY6e4ZvgfbyTHzXF
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Timestamps:
- 00:00:00 - Welcome to Unraveling Adoption Introduction to the podcast and host Beth Syverson.
- 00:01:15 - Introducing Krystal Parke Overview of Krystal Park and her film "Because She's Adopted."
- 00:02:24 - The Impact of the Film Krystal shares her hopes for the film and its emotional impact.
- 00:04:33 - Support from Adoptive Parents Discussion on her adoptive parents' reactions to the film.
- 00:05:06 - Reunion with Birth Family Krystal talks about her reunion with her birth mother.
- 00:06:58 - Exploring Identity and Gender The complexities of identity and gender expectations in adoption.
- 00:08:19 - Indigenous Heritage Krystal discusses her Indigenous roots and reconnection challenges.
- 00:10:29 - Journey to Manitoba Details about her significant trip to Manitoba.
- 00:11:26 - Understanding Residential Schools Explanation of the impact of residential schools on Indigenous peoples.
- 00:13:09 - The Sixties Scoop Discussion on the Sixties Scoop and its effects on her birth mother.
- 00:14:58 - Reunion Reflections Reflections on the emotional complexities of her reunion.
- 00:16:09 - Family Support in Filmmaking Importance of family support during the filmmaking process.
- 00:18:44 - Brothers' Perspectives Insights from her brothers about adoption and family dynamics.
- 00:19:51 - The Role of Humor in the Film How humor was used to balance the film's heavy themes.
- 00:20:45 - Children's Reactions Her children's understanding and support for the film.
- 00:21:51 - Cultural Connections Significance of cultural identity for her children.
- 00:23:44 - Filming Experience Memorable moments and dynamics of the filming process.
- 00:26:02 - Personal Growth Through Filmmaking Krystal reflects on her growth and understanding of her story.
- 00:27:43 - Future Aspirations Discussion on potential future projects and self-discovery.
- 00:29:34 - Closing Remarks Beth wraps up the episode and encourages listener engagement.
"We followed her lead. And so there was a lot of laughter and there was a lot of beauty." -- Jessica Fein
Read the episode transcript here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JG2GNT8VS6BJTW0VGKSK3 PVA
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Jessica Fein, an adoptive mother and author of the memoir Breath Taking: A Memoir of Family, Dreams, and Broken Genes. Jessica shares her family's deeply moving and complex journey through adoption and the heartbreaking experience of losing her middle child, Dalia, to a rare genetic disorder.
We began by discussing Jessica's family's path to adoption, which was initially rooted in a long struggle with infertility. After years of trying to conceive, Jessica and her husband decided to pursue adoption, ultimately leading them to adopt three children from Guatemala. Jessica eloquently describes the joy and chaos of raising her children, but also the challenges they faced when they began to notice developmental issues with Dalia.
As Dalia's health declined due to a rare mitochondrial disease, Jessica opened up about the emotional and practical challenges of caring for a child with a degenerative condition. She shared the struggles of navigating the medical system, the frustration of being more knowledgeable about Dalia's condition than some healthcare providers, and the profound love that persisted throughout their journey.
Throughout our conversation, Jessica emphasized the importance of finding joy amidst the sorrow and the lessons she learned about control and certainty in parenting. She highlighted that while we cannot control the outcomes of our children's lives, we can choose how we respond to the challenges we face.
Jessica's story is a testament to resilience, love, and the complexities of adoption. I encourage listeners to check out her memoir, Breath Taking, and her podcast, I Don't Know How You Do It, where she continues to share stories of families navigating unimaginable circumstances. Thank you for joining us in this heartfelt discussion, and I hope it resonates with anyone touched by adoption or facing similar challenges.
===============
đGet our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Jessicaâs information:
- Browse Jessicaâs website, including her book, podcast, and essays: https://www.jessicafeinstories.com/
- Find Jessica on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/feinjessica/
- I Donât Know How You Do It podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-dont-know-how-you-do-it/id1668168226
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS:
00:00:00 - Introduction Welcome to Unraveling Adoption with host Beth Syverson and guest Jessica Fein.
00:01:03 - Acknowledging Loss Beth expresses condolences for Dalia's death and the complexities of Jessica's story.
00:01:55 - Adoption Journey Begins Jessica shares her family's journey through infertility and the decision to adopt.
00:05:53 - Choosing International Adoption Discussion on selecting Guatemala for international adoption.
00:08:41 - Bringing Home Their First Child The experience of bringing their first child home after a long wait.
00:09:41 - Expanding the Family The couple's journey to adopt three children and their early family life.
00:10:52 - Concerns About Dalia's Development Early concerns about Dalia's development and responses from early intervention.
00:12:06 - Hearing Loss Diagnosis Dalia is diagnosed with hearing loss, raising further health questions.
00:13:08 - Rare Genetic Disorder Jessica explains Dalia's rare mitochondrial disease diagnosis and its uncertainties.
00:14:08 - Navigating Medical Challenges The family's experience with medical professionals and understanding Dalia's condition.
00:16:41 - Dalia's Hospitalization The escalation of Dalia's condition leading to a lengthy hospital stay.
00:18:30 - Life with a Tracheostomy Impact of Dalia's tracheostomy on her communication and eating.
00:19:13 - Communication Challenges How Dalia communicated with her family after her condition worsened.
00:20:34 - Importance of Connection Maintaining connection and communication with Dalia despite limitations.
00:21:02 - Finding Joy Amidst Struggles Balancing joy and sorrow in family life during challenging times.
00:22:06 - Self-Care Strategies Practical self-care strategies for caregivers.
00:23:33 - Dalia's School Experience Dalia's participation in school despite her condition.
00:25:14 - Understanding Awareness Exploring Dalia's awareness of her condition and family efforts.
00:26:32 - Lessons on Control Jessica reflects on lessons learned about control and certainty.
00:28:22 - Role of Writing The therapeutic role of writing in processing experiences.
00:30:22 - Advice for Adoptive Parents Jessica offers insights for prospective adoptive parents.
00:35:09 - Unpredictability of Parenthood Discussion on the unpredictability of parenting, biological or adoptive.
00:38:06 - Conclusion and Resources Wrap-up of the conversation and sharing resources for listeners.
"I didn't realize how strong I was until, you know, I got into therapy and started to understand all the things that I've overcome." - Ron Jenkins
Read the transcript of this episode here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JFJJKB7XP00HAV5P6H6ETQGJ
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Ron Jenkins, a remarkable individual whose journey through the complexities of foster care and adoption is both harrowing and inspiring. Ron's story begins with the tragic loss of his mother as a young child, leading him and his siblings into the foster care system. He was eventually adopted by a woman who, rather than providing a safe haven, exploited the system for drug money, resulting in a chaotic and violent environment.
Ron candidly shares the trauma he experienced, including the loss of several brothers to violence and the pervasive fear that defined his childhood. Despite these challenges, he made a conscious decision to steer clear of gangs and drugs, ultimately finding a mentor who changed the trajectory of his life. This mentor not only provided guidance but also became a father figure, helping Ron navigate his way to a football scholarship at Fresno State University.
Throughout our conversation, Ron emphasizes the importance of self-advocacy, therapy, and the need to break the cycle of trauma. He encourages listeners, especially men, to seek help and recognize that they deserve the same opportunities as anyone else. Ron's journey of healing and his commitment to helping at-risk youth through mentorship and advocacy work is truly inspiring.
We also touched on the impact of sexual abuse in Ron's life and how it shaped his relationships. He highlights the importance of addressing these issues through therapy, which has been instrumental in his healing process.
As we wrapped up, Ron shared exciting news about a movie being made about his life, and he invited anyone interested in supporting this project to reach out. This episode is a powerful reminder of resilience, the importance of community, and the potential for transformation, even in the face of overwhelming adversity. I hope Ron's story resonates with you and inspires you to seek help, advocate for yourself, and support others in their journeys.
===============
đGet our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Ronâs information:
- Ronâs email: rongolf6807@gmail.com
- Documentary coming 2025-2026 - email Ron to find out how best to support that project
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- Celia Center, led by Jeanette Yoffe: https://celiacenter.org/
- Runaway Girl: Escaping Life on the Streets by Carissa Phelps: https://www.amazon.com/Runaway-Girl-Escaping-Life-Streets/dp/0143123335
- Carissaâs nonprofit organizationâs website: https://runawaygirl.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS:
00:00:00 - Introduction Welcome to Unraveling Adoption with host Beth Syverson and guest Ron Jenkins.
00:01:43 - Ronâs Adoption Story Ron shares his early experiences in foster care and adoption.
00:02:21 - Foster Care Challenges Discussion of difficulties faced due to his adoptive mother's drug use.
00:03:57 - Violence and Trauma Recounting violent incidents and trauma in his childhood.
00:06:36 - Avoiding Gangs Ron discusses his choices to stay away from gang involvement.
00:10:07 - Loss of a Brother Heartbreaking story of his brother's murder and its impact.
00:12:39 - Self-Advocacy Ron reflects on learning to advocate for himself.
00:14:23 - Mentorship Introduction of Mr. Burnett, a key mentor in Ron's life.
00:16:30 - Impact of Sports How sports provided structure and discipline.
00:20:08 - Helping Youth Ron talks about his work with at-risk youth.
00:22:43 - Trust and Self-Advocacy The importance of learning to trust and advocate for oneself.
00:25:04 - Value of Therapy Emphasizing therapy's role in healing from trauma.
00:28:05 - Sexual Abuse Experiences Ron shares his experiences with sexual abuse.
00:33:16 - Relationship Patterns How past abuse influenced his adult relationships.
00:36:10 - Breaking the Cycle The importance of addressing abusive patterns.
00:38:49 - Healing and Strength Reflections on healing through faith and therapy.
00:39:39 - Book Recommendation Ron recommends "Runaway Girl" for inspiration.
00:40:52 - Movie Project News about a movie being made about Ron's life.
00:42:17 - Closing Remarks Beth thanks Ron and encourages listeners to connect with resources.
"I use the language of supply and demand because this is a market-based system and it's uncomfortable for a lot of people, right? Because you're talking about a supply and demand of human beings." -- Gretchen Sisson
Read the transcript here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JESZ6VPKJMRTMRHX6ZMBHDB7
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Gretchen Sisson, the author of the acclaimed book Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood. Gretchen's work stems from a decade-long qualitative sociological study that delves into the experiences of relinquishing mothers and critiques the American adoption system.
We discussed her journey into this research, which began while she was working with pregnant and parenting young people in Boston. Gretchen highlighted the stigmatization of young motherhood and the disconnect between societal narratives and the lived experiences of these women. Her research emphasizes the complexities of adoption, particularly how it intersects with issues of reproductive health and justice.
Gretchen shared insights from her book, revealing that the majority of women who are denied access to abortion end up parenting their children, with only a small percentage choosing adoption. This led to a discussion about the implications of the recent Dobbs decision and its potential impact on adoption rates, as well as the troubling commodification of children within the adoption system.
Throughout our conversation, we explored the reactions to her book from both the adoption community and the broader public. While many adoptees have resonated with her work, some adoptive parents have expressed defensiveness. We emphasized the importance of listening to adoptees and understanding the systemic issues surrounding adoption.
Gretchen also touched on the need for better support systems for both adoptive parents and adoptees, advocating for a more nuanced understanding of family structures and the complexities of parenting. We concluded with a call to action for listeners to engage with the voices of adoptees and to consider the broader implications of adoption in our society.
I encourage everyone to check out Gretchen's book, available in various formats, and to connect with her on social media. Thank you for joining us in this important conversation about adoption and its many layers.
===============
đGet our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Gretchenâs information:
- Pick up Gretchenâs amazing book Relinquished: https://www.amazon.com/Relinquished-Politics-Adoption-Privilege-Motherhood/dp/1250286778
- Find Gretchen on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gretchen.sisson/
Other book mentioned in this episode:
- The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier: https://www.amazon.com/Primal-Wound-Understanding-Adopted-Child/dp/0963648004
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS:
00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption 00:00:44 - Introducing Gretchen Sisson 00:01:41 - Gretchen's Research Journey 00:02:53 - Understanding Sociology 00:04:10 - Qualitative vs. Quantitative Research 00:05:36 - Impactful Stories in Adoption 00:06:40 - Response to Gretchen's Book 00:07:53 - Abortion and Adoption Dynamics 00:09:03 - Post-Dobbs Adoption Trends 00:10:55 - The Supply and Demand of Adoption 00:12:49 - Financial Aspects of Adoption 00:13:28 - Redirecting Adoption Funds 00:14:55 - Birth Mothers' Financial Needs 00:16:15 - Adoptee Perspectives on Adoption 00:17:37 - Adoptive Parents' Reactions 00:19:53 - Complexities of Adoption 00:22:06 - Supporting Adoptive Families 00:23:39 - Infertility and Adoption 00:25:23 - Broader Perspectives on Parenthood 00:27:39 - Listening to Adoptees 00:29:35 - Final Thoughts and Takeaways 00:31:09 - Where to Find Gretchen's Work 00:31:49 - Upcoming Events from Unraveling Adoption 00:33:05 - Closing Remarks
"I...sometimes I forget that I'm Asian unless I see myself in a mirror." -- Nathan Nowack
Read the Transcript: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JEAFSD4KFY07AFGENGAPDN7A
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Nathan Nowack, a Korean adoptee, professional photographer, and co-host of The Janchi Show. Nathan shared his adoption story, having been adopted from Korea at just five and a half months old and raised in a predominantly white community in Oklahoma. He reflected on his childhood, noting the lack of cultural representation and the challenges of navigating his Asian identity in a world that often sees him as different.
We discussed the complexities of transracial adoption, including the impact of his parents' approach to race and culture. Nathan emphasized the importance of understanding and acknowledging one's racial identity, especially in a society that often overlooks these nuances. He shared his experiences with microaggressions and the emotional toll they can take on adoptees, highlighting the need for greater awareness and sensitivity.
Nathan also spoke about his involvement with KAAN (Korean American Adoptee Adoptive Family Network) and how connecting with other adoptees has been instrumental in his healing journey. He described the sense of community he found there and the importance of sharing diverse adoption stories, acknowledging that each experience is unique.
As a father of three multiple-ethnicity children, Nathan is committed to helping them understand their cultural heritage. He shared how he incorporates Asian traditions and celebrations into their lives, ensuring they have a strong sense of identity.
This conversation was rich with insights into the complexities of adoption, identity, and community. I hope listeners find Nathan's story as inspiring and enlightening as I did. Be sure to check out The Janchi Show and connect with Nathan on Instagram for more of his journey and perspectives. Thank you for joining us, and I look forward to our next episode!
===============
đGet our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Nathanâs information:
- Find Nathan on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nnowack/
- Check out Nathanâs Podcast: www.janchishow.com and https://www.instagram.com/janchishow/
- Find out more about KAAN: www.wearekaan.org and https://www.instagram.com/wearekaan/
===============
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS:
00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption Welcome to the podcast and introduction of host Beth Syverson and guest Nathan Nowack.
00:01:26 - Nathan's Adoption Story Nathan shares his background as a Korean adoptee raised in a predominantly white environment.
00:02:50 - Cultural Representation in Upbringing Discussion on the lack of Asian cultural representation in Nathan's childhood.
00:03:50 - Transracial Adoption and Parental Awareness Nathan reflects on his adoptive parents' understanding of transracial adoption.
00:05:32 - The Melting Pot Mentality Exploration of the "colorblind" approach to race and its implications for Nathan.
00:06:52 - Microaggressions and Identity Nathan discusses experiences with microaggressions and their impact on his identity.
00:08:38 - Community and Connection The importance of finding community among other adoptees for support and understanding.
00:09:18 - Involvement with KAAN Nathan explains his role in the Korean American Adoptee Adoptive Family Network (KAAN).
00:10:56 - Upcoming KAAN Conference Details about the next KAAN conference and its themes.
00:11:41 - Healing Through Shared Stories How connecting with other adoptees aids in Nathan's healing journey.
00:12:30 - The Complexity of Adoption Stories Discussion on the varied experiences of adoptees and the ongoing nature of loss.
00:13:44 - Reunion with Biological Family Nathan shares his experience of reuniting with his biological siblings.
00:15:17 - Communication Challenges with Siblings The difficulties of connecting with his siblings due to language barriers.
00:16:37 - Sibling Trauma and Adoption Exploration of the trauma experienced by Nathan's siblings regarding his adoption.
00:17:45 - Parenting Mixed-Race Children Nathan discusses raising his children with awareness of their diverse heritage.
00:19:15 - Cultural Education for Children How Nathan incorporates Asian culture and representation into his children's lives.
00:20:37 - Food and Cultural Connection Nathan's love for food and how it connects him to his heritage and family.
00:21:50 - Living Through His Children Reflections on how Nathan experiences his own identity through his children's upbringing.
00:22:45 - Closing Thoughts and Resources Nathan expresses gratitude for the opportunity to share his story and offers ways to connect.
"I think now that we have this knowledge, then we can use our story to help create awareness." - Lori Evans Ermi
Read the transcript here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JDRMT4Z5RGJ6SD35WBFBT4PM
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of welcoming Lori Evans Ermi and her 17-year-old daughter, Kate Ermi, both of whom are adoptees and co-wrote their new book, Adoption Songs. Our conversation delved into the complexities of adoption from their unique perspectives, highlighting the emotional layers that come with their experiences.
Lori shared her journey as a domestic adoptee from the baby scoop era, detailing her late discovery of her adoption at the age of eight and the trust issues that arose from that revelation. Despite having loving adoptive parents, she faced challenges in her identity and connection to her biological roots. Kate, on the other hand, has always known she was adopted and has navigated her own path of understanding her heritage, which was further illuminated through DNA testing.
We discussed the creation of Adoption Songs, where each chapter is framed as a track, with contributors choosing songs that resonate with their adoption stories. The book aims to provide a broad perspective on adoption, acknowledging both the joys and the inherent losses that come with it. Lori emphasized the importance of music as a healing tool, and Kate shared her lifelong passion for music, which has been a source of comfort for her.
Throughout our conversation, we touched on the significance of community and shared experiences among adoptees, as well as the need for more resources and support for young adults in the adoption community. Lori and Kate's commitment to raising awareness and fostering understanding about adoption's complexities is truly inspiring.
I encourage listeners to check out their book and visit their website, adoptionsongs.org, for more information and resources. Additionally, I shared details about an upcoming event, Adoption Healing Quest, which will take place in February 2025, aimed at exploring various healing modalities within the adoption community.
Thank you for joining us in this important conversation, and I hope you find the insights shared by Lori and Kate as enlightening as I did.
===============
đGet our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Lori and Kateâs information:
- Find their website with info about their book Adoption Songs: https://www.adoptionsongs.org/
Other resource mentioned in this episode:
- The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier: https://www.amazon.com/Primal-Wound-Understanding-Adopted-Child/dp/0963648004
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS
00:00:00 - Welcome to Unraveling Adoption Introduction to the podcast and hosts, Beth, Lori, and Kate.
00:01:10 - Adoptee Stories: Lori's Journey Lori shares her adoption story, including her experiences and feelings about being adopted.
00:04:47 - Adoptee Stories: Kate's Journey Kate discusses her adoption experience and her understanding of her identity.
00:06:45 - The Complexity of Adoption Discussion on the layers of adoption and the importance of understanding different perspectives.
00:07:33 - Creating Adoption Songs Exploration of the book "Adoption Songs" and the involvement of both Lori and Kate in its creation.
00:10:43 - The Primal Wound Concept Introduction to the concept of The Primal Wound and its significance in adoption narratives.
00:11:45 - Future Plans for Adoption Songs Plans for a sequel to the book and the inclusion of more diverse perspectives.
00:12:38 - The Role of Music in Healing Discussion on how music plays a significant role in the lives of Lori and Kate.
00:14:40 - Untangling Our Roots Experience Kate shares her experience at the Untangling Our Roots event and the impact of hearing others' stories.
00:18:03 - Navigating Complex Emotions Lori and Kate discuss the complexities of their relationship and the duality of love and loss in adoption.
00:21:29 - Mainstream Adoption Narratives The importance of presenting adoption stories in a way that is accessible and relatable to a broader audience.
00:22:30 - Finding Resources and Support Information on where to find the book and additional resources related to adoption.
00:23:26 - Upcoming Events and Closing Thoughts Announcement of future events and a closing message of gratitude to listeners.
"I almost feel like there was a blueprint, and I was a character to fit into that blueprint." -- Tim Perdion
Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the opportunity to speak with Tim Perdion, an adoptee from Ohio who has spent the last decade navigating his journey of self-discovery and healing. Tim shares his experience of being adopted shortly after birth and the feelings of not belonging that plagued him throughout his childhood. Despite growing up in a loving family, he struggled with anger and a sense of isolation, which led him to seek validation through sports and relationships.
As a teenager, Tim turned to substances to cope with his internal struggles, leading to a reputation for overindulgence in high school. After facing personal crises in adulthood, including two divorces, he sought help at a trauma and addiction clinic, where he began to confront the deeper issues related to his adoption. Tim highlights the lack of focus on adoption-related trauma in traditional recovery settings and emphasizes the importance of vulnerability and community for male adoptees.
He introduces the concept of the "orphaned heart," describing the emotional barriers adoptees build to protect themselves from feelings of abandonment and rejection. Tim encourages younger male adoptees to explore their inner worlds and seek support, reminding them that they are not alone in their struggles.
This episode is a heartfelt exploration of the complexities of adoption, the significance of community, and the power of vulnerability. I hope Tim's story resonates with many and inspires others to seek understanding and connection in their own journeys.
===============
đGet our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Timâs information:
- Email Tim at tim@prodigalpathways.com
- Timâs Website: http://prodigalpathways.com/
- Find Tim on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/timperdion/
- Find Tim on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tperdion
- Find Tim on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timperdion/
Books mentioned in the episode:
- The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier: https://www.amazon.com/Primal-Wound-Understanding-Adopted-Child/dp/0963648004
- Healing the Orphaned Heart: Renewal for the Misunderstood, the Abused, and Abandoned by Casey Treat: https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Orphaned-Heart-Misunderstood-Abandoned/dp/1577944518
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS
00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption 00:01:24 - Tim's Childhood and Adoption Experience 00:03:47 - Struggles with Identity and Belonging 00:06:26 - The Impact of Family Dynamics 00:08:56 - Substance Use and Coping Mechanisms 00:10:51 - Seeking Help and Treatment 00:12:08 - Understanding Adoption Trauma 00:14:20 - The Journey of Self-Discovery 00:16:02 - Finding Community and Connection 00:19:05 - The Importance of Sharing Stories 00:20:17 - Challenges for Male Adoptees 00:22:05 - The Role of Forgiveness in Healing 00:24:46 - Learning to Ask for Help 00:27:04 - Advice for Younger Male Adoptees 00:29:44 - Resources and Community Support 00:30:57 - Conclusion and Call to Action
"The plants are always turning everything upside down because our culture is upside down." -- Mee Ok Icaro
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I, Beth Syverson, welcome back Mee Ok Icaro, a previous guest who has shared her profound insights on adoption and healing through plant medicine. This episode is particularly special as we recorded as we prepared for an ayahuasca retreat in Costa Rica, where I participated in my first ceremony under Mee Okâs guidance.
We begin by discussing our feelings as the retreat approaches. I express my excitement mixed with a hint of fear, acknowledging that this experience is far outside my comfort zone. Mee Ok shares her own anticipation and the unique challenges of leading a retreat for the first time, emphasizing the importance of focusing on personal healing rather than taking on the burdens of others.
Mee Ok elaborates on the concept of leadership in the context of plant medicine, contrasting it with traditional views. She explains that true leadership often involves humility and a willingness to learn from others, rather than a desire for power or control. This perspective shifts the narrative around what it means to guide others in their healing journeys.
As we delve deeper into the preparations for the retreat, we discuss the rigorous dieta we have both been following. This dieta involves strict dietary and behavioral restrictions designed to prepare our bodies and minds for the transformative experience ahead. I share my struggles with giving up my phone and certain foods items and the impact of reducing external stimuli on my mental clarity and emotional well-being.
Mee Ok and I also touch on the broader implications of accessibility to plant medicine, particularly for marginalized communities. We discuss the challenges faced by individuals from lower-income backgrounds in accessing these healing modalities and the need for a more equitable approach as psychedelics become more mainstream.
Throughout the episode, we reflect on the importance of integration and preparation in the healing process. I share my personal journey with ketamine treatment and how it has helped me move away from antidepressants, highlighting the significance of active engagement in one's healing journey rather than passively relying on substances.
As we conclude, we express our excitement for the upcoming retreat and the potential for profound transformation. We plan to record a follow-up episode after the retreat to share our experiences and insights gained during this journey.
Join us as we explore the complexities of adoption, healing, and the transformative power of plant medicine in this thought-provoking episode.
===============
đGet our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Mee Okâs information:
- Connect with Mee Ok through her website: https://holdingcompassionate.space/
- Hear Mee Okâs previous Unraveling Adoption podcast episode, âAyahuasca for Transforming Trauma and Pain with Mee Ok Icaroâ: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/28697873
- Hear Mee Ok and Leslie Pate Mackinnonâs previous Unraveling Adoption podcast episode âInsights from Plant Medicine for the Adoption Constellation with Mee Ok Icaro and Leslie Pate Mackinnonâ: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/31869557
- Register for Mee Okâs next Adoptee-Only Medicine Circle here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/medicine-circles-for-adoptees-with-mee-ok-icaro-tickets-1011041370957
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- Soltara Healing Center (Costa Rica): https://soltara.co/\
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS
00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption Welcome to the podcast and introduction of hosts Beth Syverson and Mee Ok Icaro.
00:02:00 - Preparing for Ayahuasca Retreat Discussion about the upcoming ayahuasca retreat in Costa Rica and the preparation process.
00:03:30 - Emotional Readiness and Expectations Beth and Mee Ok share their feelings of excitement and fear as they approach the retreat.
00:05:30 - Redefining Leadership in Healing Spaces Mee Ok discusses her perspective on leadership and the importance of humility in guiding others.
00:09:00 - The Role of Ego in Leadership Exploration of how ego affects leadership and the qualities of a good leader.
00:12:00 - Accountability in Healing Environments Mee Ok emphasizes the need for accountability and trust in the retreat setting.
00:15:00 - The Importance of Preparation and Integration Discussion on the significance of preparation and integration in the healing process.
00:20:00 - Challenges of Accessibility in Psychedelic Healing Conversation about the barriers to accessing psychedelic treatments for various demographics.
00:23:00 - Personal Healing Journeys Beth shares her experiences with ketamine treatment and the importance of integration.
00:27:00 - The Process of the Dieta Mee Ok explains the dieta, its restrictions, and its role in preparing for the ayahuasca experience.
00:32:00 - Transformative Effects of Disconnecting Beth discusses the impact of reducing phone and media usage during the dieta.
00:35:00 - Commitment to Healing Work Mee Ok talks about the commitment required for serious healing and the importance of discipline.
00:40:00 - The Role of Tobacco in Healing Mee Ok shares her personal journey with tobacco and its significance in the healing process.
00:45:00 - Building Relationships with Plants and Healers Discussion on the importance of relationships with plants and healers in the dieta process.
00:49:00 - Conclusion and Future Intentions Wrap-up of the conversation and reflections on the journey ahead.
Finding Empowerment through Sex Work as a Korean Adoptee with Kayla Tange
"I can be in my body, and in that moment, I feel safe." -- Kayla Tange
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Kayla Tange, a Korean adoptee raised by Japanese-American parents. She has navigated a unique and complex journey through life as an exotic dancer, performance artist, and sex worker. Kayla shared her adoption story, detailing her early life in an orphanage in Seoul before being adopted at six months old.
We explored how her experiences with ADHD and autism influenced her career choices and her desire for connection. Kayla candidly discussed her entry into the world of sex work, revealing how it provided her with a sense of empowerment and control over her bodyâsomething she felt was taken from her during her adoption.
Throughout our conversation, we touched on the themes of identity, belonging, and the emotional complexities that come with being an adoptee. Kayla's reflections on her work and the connections she forms with clients highlighted the often misunderstood aspects of sex work, challenging stereotypes and emphasizing the agency she feels in her choices.
Kayla also read a powerful piece from her contribution to the anthology Whorephobia, which delves into her experiences and emotions surrounding her adoption and her work. Her insights offered a profound understanding of the intersections between adoption, identity, and the search for belonging.
This episode is a deep dive into the complexities of adoption and the ways in which individuals navigate their identities and experiences. I encourage listeners to reflect on Kayla's story and the broader implications it has for understanding adoption and the diverse paths that adoptees may take.
===============
đGet our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Kaylaâs information:
- Email Kayla: kayla.tange@gmail.com
- Check out Kaylaâs Website: kaylatange.com
- Follow Kayla on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kayla.tange/
- Watch Kaylaâs amazing short film Dear Mother: https://www.kaylatange.com/dear-mother
- Hereâs the anthology, Whorephobia, that includes Kaylaâs essay that she read on this episode: https://www.amazon.com/Whorephobia-Strippers-Art-Work-Life/dp/1644212277
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS
00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption Welcome to the podcast and introduction of host Beth Syverson and her son Joey.
00:00:34 - Today's Topic: Sexuality and Sex Work Discussion on the focus of the episode regarding sexuality and sex work.
00:00:56 - Introducing Kayla Tange Introduction of guest Kayla Tange, her background as a Korean adoptee, and her work in the sex industry.
00:01:52 - Kayla's Adoption Story Kayla shares her adoption story, including her age at adoption and her upbringing.
00:02:32 - Early Interest in Performance Discussion on Kayla's early interest in dance and performance.
00:03:20 - Career Path and ADHD Diagnosis Kayla talks about her career journey and the impact of her ADHD and autism diagnosis.
00:04:49 - Transition to Sex Work Kayla explains how she transitioned into sex work and dancing.
00:05:59 - Job Satisfaction and Flexibility Discussion on the benefits of working as a dancer compared to retail jobs.
00:06:33 - ADHD and the Nature of the Job Exploration of how the job suited Kayla's ADHD tendencies.
00:08:06 - Connecting with Customers Kayla discusses the importance of connecting with customers and building relationships.
00:09:06 - Adoption Trauma and Connection Exploration of the link between adoption trauma and Kayla's need for connection.
00:10:25 - Empowerment through Sex Work Kayla shares her perspective on feeling empowered through her work.
00:12:17 - Commodification of Bodies Discussion on the commodification of bodies in adoption and sex work.
00:13:24 - Feelings of Displacement Kayla reflects on feelings of displacement related to her adoption.
00:14:01 - Experiences in Korea Kayla shares her experiences and feelings during her trips to Korea.
00:15:11 - Creating the Film "Dear Mother" Discussion on the process and impact of creating her film.
00:16:28 - The Power of Performance Kayla talks about the liberating aspects of performing.
00:17:56 - Family Dynamics and Support Kayla reflects on her adoptive family's support and concerns regarding her career.
00:19:13 - Community and Support in the Industry Discussion on the supportive community within the sex work industry.
00:20:12 - Advice to Her Younger Self Kayla shares what she would tell her 12-year-old self.
00:21:45 - Advice for Parents Kayla offers advice to parents about supporting their children's interests.
00:23:49 - Reading from Whorephobia Kayla reads a powerful piece from the anthology Whorephobia.
00:37:04 - Closing Thoughts and Future Plans Discussion on Kayla's ongoing work and future plans, along with closing remarks from Beth.
"I thought I'll go to the embassy and I'll clear this up. Yeah, that I was adopted legally and I was US citizen." -- Mike Davis
READ THE TRANSCRIPT HERE: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JB3BV6BMN0QQD1M7BWPZEVPK
EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Mike Davis, an intercountry adoptee whose story sheds light on the often-overlooked complexities of adoption, particularly regarding citizenship issues. Mike was adopted from Ethiopia at the age of eight by an African-American single father and grew up in the U.S. However, in the mid-1990s, he discovered that he was not a U.S. citizen, despite his father's efforts to complete the necessary adoption paperwork.
In 2005, Mike was deported to Ethiopia, a country he barely remembered, where he faced immense challenges, including language barriers and a lack of support. He shared the harrowing details of his deportation, including being dropped off at the airport with only the clothes on his back and a small amount of money. Mike's story is a stark reminder of the potential pitfalls in the inter-country adoption process and the devastating impact it can have on families.
Throughout our conversation, Mike emphasized the ongoing struggles he faces, including the inability to access benefits he contributed to while working in the U.S. and the emotional toll on his family, including his wife and children, who have also suffered due to his deportation.
We were also joined by Maureen McCauley, an adoptive parent and advocate for Mike, who has been instrumental in raising awareness about his situation and has created a GoFundMe to assist with his legal and medical expenses. Together, we discussed the broader implications of Mike's story, including the urgent need for legislative change to protect the rights of all adoptees, particularly those who are at risk of deportation.
This episode serves as a call to action for listeners to educate themselves about the complexities of adoption and to advocate for the rights of adoptees. We encourage all Americans to support the Adoptee Citizenship Act and to reach out to their Congressional representatives to help ensure that no adoptee has to endure the hardships that Mike has faced. Thank you for joining us in this important conversation.
===============
đGet our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
- Donate to Mikeâs GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-mike-davis-abebe-hailu-come-home-to-the-us
- Read the book that Maureen edited and that includes Mike's essay, Lions Roaring Far From Home: An Anthology by Ethiopian Adoptees: https://www.amazon.com/Lions-Roaring-Far-Home-Anthology/dp/B0BNTXTHRG
- Check out Maureen's blog, Light of Day Stories: https://lightofdaystories.com/
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- Adoptees for Justice: https://www.adopteesforjustice.org/
- Adoptees United: https://adopteesunited.org/
- Adoptee Citizenship Act:
- https://www.congress.gov/bill/118th-congress/senate-bill/4448
- https://adopteerightslaw.com/congress-introduces-the-adoptee-citizenship-act-of-2024/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS:
00:00:00 - Welcome to Unraveling Adoption Introduction of host Beth Syverson and her mission.
00:01:00 - Complexities of Adoption Overview of today's focus on inter-country adoption issues.
00:02:00 - Meet Mike Davis Introduction of guest Mike Davis and his background.
00:03:40 - Deportation Experience Mike recounts his deportation to Ethiopia.
00:05:30 - First Days in Ethiopia Mike's initial struggles upon arrival in Ethiopia.
00:07:00 - Citizenship Realization Discovery that Mike was not a U.S. citizen.
00:09:00 - Adoption Paperwork Issues Discussion on the confusion surrounding Mike's adoption documents.
00:10:30 - Legal Challenges Mike shares his legal battles to prove citizenship.
00:12:00 - Family Impact The emotional toll on Mike's family due to his deportation.
00:14:00 - Criminal Charge Consequences Mike discusses the events leading to his criminal charge.
00:16:30 - Legal Representation Struggles Challenges in finding effective legal help.
00:18:00 - Support from Maureen Introduction of Maureen and her advocacy for Mike.
00:20:00 - Adoptee Citizenship Act Explanation of the legislative efforts for adoptee citizenship.
00:22:00 - Broader Adoptee Issues Impact on other adoptees facing similar challenges.
00:24:00 - Call to Action Encouragement for listeners to support the cause.
00:26:00 - Final Thoughts from Mike Mike's reflections on the injustices faced by adoptees.
00:32:00 - Conclusion and Resources Wrap-up and information on how to get involved.
"I can read a book and tell you if it's written by an adoptee, written by an adoptive parent or written by somebody who's just a famous author and someone told him to write about adoption and they know nothing about it." -- Allison Olson
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Allison Olson, an adoptee and adoptive parent who has made significant contributions to children's literature on adoption. We explored her personal adoption story, which began in 1979 when she was adopted as a baby in a closed adoption, and how her experiences shaped her perspective as both an adoptee and a parent to an adopted child.
Allison shared her insights on the evolution of adoption practices, particularly the shift from closed to open adoptions, and the importance of representation in children's books. She expressed her frustration with the common narratives found in many adoption-themed picture books, which often portray adoptees as "lucky" rather than "loved." This inspired her to write her own books, including Surrounded by Love: An Open Adoption Story and Learning About My Friend's Adoption, aimed at educating children about adoption in a balanced and loving way.
We discussed the challenges adoptees face in educating their peers about their experiences and the need for more resources that accurately reflect the complexities of adoption. Allison emphasized the importance of normalizing conversations about adoption and providing children with the tools to understand and embrace their identities.
Listeners will find Allison's work invaluable, as it not only addresses the needs of adopted children but also serves as a resource for their friends and families. I encourage everyone to check out her books and share this episode to help spread awareness about the importance of thoughtful representation in children's literature.
===============
đGet our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Allisonâs information:
- Check out Allisonâs website for her own books plus her lists of childrenâs books: OurAdoptionBooks.com
- Find Allisonâs books on Amazon:
- Surrounded by Love: An Open Adoption Story on Amazon
-
Learning about My Friend's Adoption on Amazon
-
Allisonâs book lists:
- âAn Adopteeâs Top 14 Childrenâs Adoption Booksâ: https://www.ouradoptionbooks.com/blogs/adoptee-top-kids-book-picks
-
âChildrenâs Adoption Books Written by Adopteesâ: https://www.ouradoptionbooks.com/blogs/adoptee-written-kids-book
-
Find Allison on Social Media:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kidsbooksbyallisonolson/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KidsBooksbyAllisonOlson
- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kidsbooksbyallisonolson
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS:
00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption Welcome to the podcast and introduction of host Beth Syverson and guest Allison Olson.
00:01:00 - Allison's Adoption Story Allison shares her personal adoption journey and her experiences as both an adoptee and an adoptive parent.
00:03:00 - Closed vs. Open Adoption Discussion on the differences between closed and open adoptions, including definitions and implications.
00:07:00 - The Impact of Openness in Adoption Allison reflects on the benefits of open adoption and her experiences with her daughter's adoption.
00:10:00 - Challenges in Children's Adoption Books Allison discusses her experiences with children's picture books about adoption and the messages they convey.
00:14:00 - The Need for Balanced Representation Exploration of the importance of balanced narratives in adoption literature, highlighting both love and struggle.
00:17:00 - Creating Surrounded by Love Allison explains her motivation for writing her first book and the intentional choices made in its creation.
00:20:00 - Learning About My Friend's Adoption Introduction to Allison's second book aimed at educating non-adopted children about adoption.
00:24:00 - The Responsibility of Educating Others Discussion on the burden adoptees face in educating their peers and the importance of literature in this process.
00:28:00 - Resources and Closing Thoughts Allison shares her website and resources for finding adoption-related books.
âI'm telling all the skeptics who may be listening, just go in there with an open mind because you're not going to lose anything. You have so much more to gain.â - Jonathan Moon
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Jonathan Moon, an adopted person who has navigated the complexities of relinquishment and adoption trauma. Jonathan's journey began in Korea, where he faced significant challenges as a child, including living on the streets and experiencing significant instability. He was adopted to the U.S. at the age of nine and has recently embarked on a path of healing and self-discovery.
Jonathan shared his unique story, including his reunion with his grandmother through a Korean TV show and the emotional complexities surrounding his birth family. He discussed the struggles he faced growing up, including the impact of his father's alcoholism and abuse, and how these experiences shaped his identity.
Throughout our conversation, Jonathan emphasized the importance of community and connection among adoptees, highlighting how sharing similar experiences can foster understanding and healing. He also opened up about his journey toward healing, which has included acting classes, therapy, and alternative healing practices like myofascial release and ketamine therapy.
Jonathan's story is a testament to resilience and the ongoing process of healing from trauma. He is currently working on an artistic film titled Voice of Waters, which aims to share his experiences and insights with a broader audience. I encourage listeners to check out his website and support his work.
===============
đGet our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Jonathanâs information:
- Find out about Jonathan's upcoming film, Voice of Waters, and sign up for his website here: https://www.voiceofwatersfilm.com/
Other Resource Mentioned in the episode:
- The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D.: https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748
- Miofascial release: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myofascial_release
- Ketamine therapy: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ketamine
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS:
00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption Welcome to the podcast and introduction of host Beth Syverson and guest Jonathan Moon.
00:01:14 - Meeting at Untangling Our Roots Discussion about the adoption conference where Beth and Jonathan met.
00:02:51 - Jonathan's Early Life Jonathan shares his background, including his birth parents and early memories.
00:05:48 - Life with His Grandmother Description of Jonathan's childhood living with his maternal grandmother.
00:08:00 - Transition to Living with His Father Jonathan recounts the move to live with his birth father and half-brothers.
00:09:20 - Challenges at His Father's Home Jonathan discusses the difficulties he faced living with his father and brothers.
00:12:52 - Living on the Streets Jonathan shares his experiences of running away and living on the streets.
00:15:04 - Adoption Process Jonathan describes how he was adopted to the U.S. and his initial thoughts.
00:18:34 - First Days in America Jonathan reflects on his arrival in the U.S. and the adjustment to his new life.
00:20:34 - Family Dynamics Discussion about Jonathan's adoptive family and his place within it.
00:22:05 - Struggles with Trauma Jonathan opens up about the impact of his past traumas on his life.
00:23:24 - Military Experience Jonathan talks about his time in the military and coping mechanisms.
00:24:18 - Reunion with Birth Family Jonathan shares the story of his reunion with his grandmother and birth mother.
00:27:33 - Confronting His Birth Father Discussion about Jonathan's decision to not reunite with his birth father.
00:28:55 - Journey to Healing Jonathan discusses his healing journey and the steps he has taken.
00:29:24 - Acting and Self-Discovery How acting classes helped Jonathan confront his trauma.
00:31:20 - Therapy and Healing Modalities Jonathan shares his experiences with therapy and alternative healing methods.
00:33:22 - Myofascial Release Therapy Description of myofascial therapy and its impact on Jonathan's healing.
00:35:16 - Ketamine Therapy Jonathan discusses his experiences with ketamine therapy and its transformative effects.
00:37:43 - Profound Experiences with Ketamine Jonathan recounts a significant session where he felt a deep connection with his family.
00:40:31 - Exploring Other Healing Practices Jonathan talks about trying Reiki and other energy work.
00:41:34 - Creating Voice of Waters Discussion about Jonathan's film project and its significance in his healing journey.
00:42:42 - Closing Thoughts and Resources Beth encourages listeners to explore Jonathan's work and upcoming events related to adoption.
"I think my mom does a great job addressing this in the book, but open adoption is not without its challenges." - Belle Sexton
Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the honor of speaking with Linda R. Sexton, an adoptive mom and author, and her 25-year-old daughter, Belle. This marks our first mother-daughter duo on the podcast, offering a unique perspective on open adoption.
Linda R. Sexton is an author, speaker and blogger. She is an adoptive mom of two children, both in open arrangements, and is the author of the award-winning book, The Branches We Cherish: An Open Adoption Memoir. The story is told with frank honesty about the grief and joys of open adoption. Linda includes the voices of all four birth parents, birth grandmothers and her adopted children. She has seen first hand how an adopted child can benefit greatly by knowing and connecting with birth parents and other members of their biological family. Visit her website lindarsexton.com to learn more.
In our episode, Belle shared her adoption story, highlighting her early life in Texas and the open adoption plan created by her young birth parents. She emphasized the importance of knowing her birth family, which helped her navigate her identity as an adoptee. Linda reflected on the emotional journey of waiting for Belle's birth and the profound moment when Belle's birth mother handed her over in a hospital ceremony.
We discussed the complexities of open adoption, including Belle's feelings of adoptee's guilt and the importance of maintaining connections with birth families. Both emphasized that while open adoption can be challenging, it is a better option when compared to closed adoptions.
For those of you who enjoyed this podcast and wish to know more, The Branches We Cherish: An Open Adoption Memoir is available on Amazon or can be purchased from your favorite bookseller. There are several families involved in the story and most of the names have been changed to protect privacy. (Since you now know Belle, she is Sofie in the book.)
This episode beautifully illustrates the complexities and joys of adoption, and I hope it resonates with those on similar journeys.
===============
đGet our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Linda & Belleâs information:
- Pick up Lindaâs book The Branches We Cherish: An Open Adoption Memoir: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=the+branches+we+cherish+linda+sexton&crid=3UANIFD0F97FF&sprefix=the+branches+we+%25
- Or pick it up at an independent bookstore if you prefer: https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-branches-we-cherish-an-open-adoption-memoir-linda-r-sexton/20200003
- Explore Lindaâs website: https://www.lindarsexton.com/
- If you want to reach Belle, email Linda through her website, and she will get your message to Belle
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
TIME STAMPS
00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption Welcome to the podcast and introduction of hosts and guests.
00:01:26 - Belle's Adoption Story Belle shares her background and experiences with her birth parents.
00:03:15 - Terminology in Adoption Discussion on the vocabulary used to describe adoptive and birth parents.
00:04:16 - Linda's Perspective on the Adoption Process Linda reflects on the emotional journey of adopting Belle.
00:06:06 - The Ceremony of Relinquishment Linda describes the emotional moment of receiving Belle from her birth mother.
00:08:09 - Memories and Keepsakes Belle shares about the memorabilia from her birth family.
00:10:12 - Challenges in Open Adoption Discussion on the complexities and challenges faced in open adoption.
00:12:25 - Understanding Birth Parents' Choices Belle reflects on her birth parents' decision-making process.
00:15:46 - Adoptee's Guilt Belle discusses feelings of guilt and the impact of her adoption experience.
00:19:03 - Navigating Relationships with Birth Parents Belle talks about her relationship dynamics with her birth parents.
00:20:52 - The Impact of Writing the Memoir Linda and Belle discuss the process and effects of writing the memoir together.
00:26:02 - Final Thoughts on Open Adoption Belle and Linda share their concluding thoughts on the benefits and challenges of open adoption.
00:28:49 - Connecting with the Audience Linda provides information on how to reach her and access her resources.
"The way that fascism triumphs is if everyone goes silent and becomes quiescent." - Mark H.
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I, Beth Syverson, welcome Mark, a transracial adoptee from Korea and a passionate advocate for adoption-related issues. Together, we delve into the often-overlooked intersection of politics and adoption, particularly in the context of the upcoming U.S. presidential election.
As an adoptive mom of a 20-year-old son, Joey, who is navigating his own path, I feel a deep responsibility to address the complexities surrounding adoption and how they relate to broader societal issues. This election is particularly significant, as it touches on critical topics such as racial justice, women's reproductive rights, LGBTQ+ rights, and the preservation of our democratic systems. With Joey preparing to vote for the first time, I am acutely aware of the stakes involved and the long-term impact our choices will have on future generations.
Mark shares his unique perspective as a transracial adoptee and a gay man, highlighting the challenges he faced growing up in a predominantly white environment. He reflects on the societal norms of his youth, where discussing politics was often taboo, and emphasizes the importance of speaking out in today's climate. Mark articulates the existential nature of this election, particularly for marginalized communities, and the need for individuals to engage in political discourse.
Throughout our conversation, we explore the implications of having a woman of color, Kamala Harris, as a presidential candidate. While Mark expresses excitement about her candidacy, he also addresses the racism and misogyny she faces, which resonates deeply with his own experiences of being âotherâed. We discuss how the political landscape has shifted, particularly within the Republican Party, and the urgent need for individuals to recognize and confront systemic racism.
Mark and I emphasize the importance of activism, not just in the traditional sense of protests and demonstrations, but in everyday conversations with friends, family, and neighbors. We encourage listeners to engage with those around them, especially in swing states, to ensure that their voices are heard and that they participate in the electoral process.
As we wrap up the episode, I invite listeners to reflect on their own roles in advocating for change and to consider how their political choices impact the lives of those in the adoption community and beyond. We urge everyone to vote, to educate themselves, and to have open discussions about the critical issues at stake in this election.
This episode serves as a call to action for all of us to be brave, to stand up for what we believe in, and to work towards a more equitable society for everyone, especially those affected by adoption. Thank you for joining us in this important conversation.
===============
đGet our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
If youâd like to connect with Mark H., send him an email through me at Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com. Heâs staying anonymous in this episode in order to not jeopardize his job.
Respond to this episode on Unraveling Adoptionâs page on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, or LinkedIn.
Other resource mentioned in this episode:
- White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin J. DiAngelo: https://www.amazon.com/White-Fragility-People-About-Racism-ebook/dp/B07638ZFN1
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS
00:01:00 - The Importance of Voting Beth discusses the significance of the upcoming presidential election and its impact on adoption-related issues.
00:02:30 - Introducing Mark Mark, a transracial adoptee, joins the conversation to discuss the intersection of politics and adoption.
00:03:00 - Mark's Background and Perspective Mark shares his experiences as a transracial adoptee and the importance of speaking out in the current political climate.
00:06:00 - The Fog of Whiteness Mark discusses the challenges of growing up in a predominantly white environment and the implications for transracial adoptees.
00:08:30 - Representation in Politics Mark expresses his feelings about having a woman of color as a presidential candidate and the challenges she faces.
00:10:30 - Racism and Misogyny in Politics Discussion on the racism and misogyny directed at Kamala Harris and its impact on marginalized communities.
00:12:30 - Understanding Systemic Racism Mark explains the difference between individual acts of racism and systemic racism in society.
00:14:30 - The Role of White Allies The importance of white individuals engaging with and understanding issues of race and privilege.
00:16:00 - The Stakes of the Election Mark emphasizes the critical nature of the upcoming election and the need for active participation.
00:18:00 - Mobilizing for Change Discussion on the responsibility of individuals to educate and mobilize others in their communities.
00:20:00 - The Importance of Conversations Mark highlights the power of personal conversations in advocating for change and understanding.
00:22:00 - Adoption and Political Interests Exploration of how adoption intersects with political issues, particularly for families of color.
00:24:00 - Activism in Everyday Life Mark discusses how activism can take many forms, including simple conversations with friends and family.
00:26:00 - The Power of Individual Votes The significance of each vote in local and national elections and the moral obligation to participate.
00:28:00 - Conclusion and Call to Action Beth and Mark encourage listeners to engage in the political process and advocate for marginalized communities.
âThey [our kids] can't be more regulated than you are. They can only be as regulated as the least regulated person in the house.â - Stacey Uhrig
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Stacey Uhrig, an adoptive parent and certified trauma recovery coach. Stacey shared her journey into adoption, which began after her own struggles with infertility. She emphasized the emotional complexities and challenges that come with adoption, particularly the trauma that both adoptees and adoptive parents may face.
Stacey discussed her experiences raising two boys adopted from Korea and the significant insights she gained about trauma, attachment, and the impact of early disruptions in a child's life. We explored the importance of understanding the emotional wounds that children may carry from their past experiences, even before they come into our homes.
Throughout our conversation, we highlighted the need for adoptive parents to do their own emotional work in order to better support their children. Stacey shared valuable resources, including her own ebook, What is Trauma Really?, and her podcast, Flip Your Mindset, both of which aim to educate and empower those affected by adoption.
We also touched on the misconceptions surrounding trauma and the importance of approaching parenting with empathy and an open mind. This episode serves as a reminder that understanding adoption trauma is crucial for creating a nurturing environment for our children. I hope this conversation resonates with adoptive parents and encourages them to seek knowledge and support in their parenting journey.
===============
đGet our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Staceyâs contact information:
- Look up Staceyâs website: https://www.flipyourmindset.com/
- Hear Staceyâs podcast: https://www.flipyourmindset.com/podcast
- Find Stacey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/flipyourmindsetpodcast/
- Download Staceysâ FREE e-book What Is Trauma Really?: https://flip-your-mindset.ck.page/20d3e76a8d
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency: A Comprehensive Guide to Promoting Understanding and Healing In Adoption, Foster Care, Kinship Families and Third Party Reproduction by Sharon Roszia and Allison Davis Maxon: https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Core-Issues-Adoption-Permanency/dp/1785928236/
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS:
00:00:00 - Introduction Welcome to Unraveling Adoption with host Beth Cyberson and guest Stacey Uhrig.
00:01:00 - Stacey's Adoption Journey Stacey shares her path to adoption through infertility and decision-making.
00:03:30 - Challenges in Adoption Discussion on the challenges faced, including school difficulties and a brain injury.
00:06:00 - Understanding Adoption Trauma Stacey reflects on the concept of the primal wound and its implications.
00:08:30 - Lack of Resources The struggle to find support and resources for adoptive parents.
00:10:30 - Importance of Education The need for better preparation for adoptive parents regarding challenges.
00:12:30 - Personal Growth How learning about trauma provided Stacey with grace in her parenting.
00:15:00 - Impact of Early Experiences Effects of early attachment disruptions on adopted children.
00:18:00 - Parental Responsibility The role of adoptive parents in understanding and healing trauma.
00:21:00 - Coaching Approach Stacey explains her coaching methods for adoptive parents.
00:24:00 - Nature of Trauma Exploration of trauma's meaning and effects on children.
00:27:00 - Self-Reflection for Parents Encouragement for parents to do their own emotional work.
00:30:00 - Work with Adoptees Stacey discusses her methods for working with adoptees.
00:33:00 - Conclusion and Resources Wrap-up and sharing of Stacey's website and podcast for further resources.
"When I was nine years old,...my parents just looked at each other and looked back at me and said, Michael, we just want to tell you that we love you very much and that you're adopted." -- Mike Thorne
===============
đGet our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
==============
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Mike Thorne, an adoptee and community leader. Mike shared his journey of discovering his adoption at age nine, which profoundly impacted his self-worth. We discussed the importance of building personal trust communitiesâsupportive networks that provide emotional and intellectual guidance, especially for those navigating the complexities of adoption.
Mike also reflected on his time as a board member of the National Council for Adoption (NCFA), emphasizing the need for diverse perspectives in adoption discussions. He encouraged listeners to seek out their own support systems and focus on their dreams rather than being held back by past experiences.
This episode serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of connection and understanding within the adoption community. I hope you find inspiration in Mike's insights and encourage you to explore his TEDx Talk and memoir for further understanding. Thank you for joining us, and I look forward to continuing this important conversation in future episodes.
RESOURCES:
Mike Thorneâs information:
- Watch Mikeâs TEDx Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/michael_thorne_three_words_that_can_transform_our_lives_they_aren_t_what_you_think?subtitle=en
- Read Mikeâs memoir Hustle With Heart: Unlocking Self-Worth Through Personal Trust Communities: https://www.amazon.com/Hustle-Heart-Unlocking-Self-Worth-Communities/dp/1958729698/
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- NCFA - National Council for Adoption: https://adoptioncouncil.org/
- Simon Bennâs organization & podcast Thriving Adoptees: https://www.thrivingadoptees.com/
Other resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
TIME STAMPS:
00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption Welcome to the podcast and introduction of host Beth Syverson and her son Joey.
00:01:00 - Mike Thorne's Adoption Story Mike shares his vivid experience of discovering he was adopted at the age of nine.
00:02:30 - Navigating Adoption Conversations Discussion on the lack of resources and conversations around adoption during Mike's childhood.
00:03:55 - Understanding Late Discovery Adoptees Exploration of the term "late discovery adoptee" and its implications.
00:05:00 - Age-Appropriate Communication in Adoption The importance of age-appropriate discussions about adoption with children.
00:06:00 - Adoptee Perspectives in Education Mike discusses his daughter's experiences as a teacher and the impact of sharing adoption stories.
00:07:00 - Mike's Leadership in Adoption Advocacy Mike's involvement with the National Council for Adoption and the importance of adoptee voices.
00:08:30 - Adoptee Panel at NCFA Conference Insights from the adoptee panel at the NCFA conference and its impact on attendees.
00:10:00 - The Need for Male Voices in Adoption The significance of including male and non-binary perspectives in the adoption conversation.
00:11:00 - Evolution of NCFA Discussion on the changes within the National Council for Adoption and its leadership.
00:12:00 - Mike's Future Goals in Maine Mike shares his plans to connect with local organizations in Maine to support adoption and foster care.
00:13:00 - Corporate Leadership Background Mike discusses his corporate experience and how it informs his approach to leadership.
00:15:00 - The Importance of Personal Trust Communities Introduction to the concept of personal trust communities and their role in personal growth.
00:18:00 - Overcoming Perfectionism in Adoptees Mike reflects on the perfectionism often experienced by adoptees and its roots.
00:20:00 - Building Supportive Networks The importance of finding the right people to support you in various aspects of life.
00:22:00 - Adoptee Spaces and Support The value of finding supportive spaces for adoptees to share their experiences.
00:24:00 - Challenges for Adoptive Parents Discussion on the struggles adoptive parents face in understanding and supporting their children.
00:26:00 - Collaboration Among Organizations The need for collaboration among nonprofits to improve outcomes for children in the adoption system.
00:28:00 - Mike's Vision for the Future Mike shares his aspirations for making a difference in the adoption community.
00:30:00 - Encouragement for Listeners Mike encourages listeners to focus on their dreams and find supportive communities.
00:32:00 - Conclusion and Resources Wrap-up of the episode, including resources for listeners to connect with Mike and Beth.
"I tell every adopted person that I meet that their story changes my own story. And it's the truth. It is the absolute truth." - Jessica M. Luciere
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson interviews Jessica M. Luciere, an inter-country, interracial adoptee from Colombia who works at Spence Chapin, a nonprofit adoption agency. Jessica shares her personal adoption story and highlights the importance of adoptee-led initiatives in the adoption community. She discusses the programming she has created at Spence Chapin, including Voices of Adoption for adoptees over 18 and Teen Voices of Adoption for younger adoptees. Jessica emphasizes the significance of community and support for adoptees and adoptive parents, encouraging them to be open, vulnerable, and willing to learn. She also shares her experience of reuniting with her birth family in Colombia and offers advice for adoptees seeking connection with others. Beth and Jessica stress the importance of listening to adoptees' voices and elevating their perspectives in the adoption conversation. Overall, the episode highlights the value of community, support, and understanding in the adoption journey.
===============
đPick up our new book Adoption and Suicidality: https://www.amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Jessicaâs information:
- Spence Chapinâs website: https://spence-chapin.org/
- Voices of Adoption - support groups for adults and teen adoptees: https://spence-chapin.org/voices-of-adoption/
- Jessica's email: jluciere@spence-chapin.org
- Jessicaâs Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jmluciere/
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS
00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption and Jessica 00:05:30 - Importance of Adoptee-Led Initiatives 00:10:00 - Training and Support for Adoptive Parents 00:13:00 - Growing Up as a Transracial Adoptee 00:15:30 - Reuniting with Birth Family 00:17:00 - Advice for Adoptees Seeking Connection 00:19:00 - Advice for Adoptive Parents 00:20:30 - Resources and Programming at Spence Chapin 00:22:00 - Conclusion and Call to Action
"The Church, of course, is doing everything it can to silence victims." - Brendan Watkins
EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, the host, Beth Syverson, interviews Brendan Watkins, an Australian adoptee who shares his emotional journey of discovering his origin story filled with religious intrigue. Brendan found out that his birth mother became pregnant in the 1950s and relinquished him for adoption, and later became a nun. He then discovered that his birth father was a Catholic priest. Brendan's memoir, Tell No One, sheds light on the challenges faced by children of priests and nuns. The episode delves into the complexities of adoption, the impact of secrecy and shame, and the need for awareness and support for individuals affected by such circumstances. Brendan emphasizes the importance of mental health support and seeking legal assistance for those in similar situations. The episode highlights the ongoing struggle for justice and recognition faced by children of priests and nuns, urging listeners to educate themselves and support those affected by these issues.
===============
đGet our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Brendan Watkinâs information:
- Check out Brendanâs website: www.brendanwatkins.com.au
- Grab Brendanâs memoir Tell No One: https://www.amazon.com/Tell-No-One-Brendan-Watkins-ebook/dp/B0CJ3P5HNT
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- SNAP (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests): https://www.snapnetwork.org/
- Coping International (Children of Priests International): https://www.copinginternational.com/
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
TIME STAMPS:
- Introduction to Unraveling Adoption: 00:00:02-00:00:34
- Brendan's Early Childhood and Adoption Revelation: 00:01:36-00:03:08
- Discovering Birth Mother's Identity: 00:03:28-00:05:14
- Revealing Birth Father's Identity: 00:06:34-00:08:53
- Insights into Relationship Between Birth Parents: 00:09:19-00:09:51
- Discussion on Celibacy and Wealth in the Church: 00:10:32-00:12:53
- Impact of NDAs and Confidentiality Agreements: 00:16:15-00:19:01
- Support and Justice for Children of Priests and Nuns: 00:20:11-00:22:56
- Reflections on the Church's Actions and Victims: 00:23:20-00:26:04
- Resources and Conclusion: 00:26:54-00:28:30
"I never learned the word stress until I was 14 years old. And I can guarantee you I was very stressed well before the age of 14." -- Rae
===============
đ Order our book Adoption and Suicidality: https://www.amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson interviews Rae, whose handle is Adoptee Reclaimed. Rae discusses how being homeschooled from kindergarten through high school in a conservative family led to feelings of isolation and pressure to conform. She highlights the challenges adoptees particularly face in homeschooling, such as the heightened power dynamic between adoptive parents and adoptees, the lack of diverse perspectives in education, and the impact on social skills development.
Rae emphasizes the importance of having additional teachers or group activities to provide different perspectives and social interactions for homeschooled adoptees. She also shares advice for isolated adoptees, encouraging them to be patient with themselves and seek out supportive communities.
Overall, the episode sheds light on the complexities of adoption and homeschooling, urging listeners to engage with adoptees and homeschooling families to better understand and support them. Rae's insights provide valuable perspectives on the intersection of adoption and education, highlighting the need for more awareness and support for adoptees in homeschooling environments.
===============
RESOURCES:
Raeâs information:
- Find Rae as Adoptee Reclaimed on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adoptee_reclaimed
- Find Rae as Adoptee Reclaimed on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/adopteereclaimed
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- Coalition for Responsible Home Education: https://responsiblehomeschooling.org/
Other resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
TIME STAMPS:
- 00:00:02 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption
- 00:01:13 - Introducing Guest, Rae, and Discussion on Homeschooling
- 00:02:54 - Rae's Experience with Homeschooling and Adoption
- 00:04:44 - Rae's Initial Thoughts on Homeschooling
- 00:06:16 - Challenges Faced in Homeschooling
- 00:08:30 - Impact of Isolation in Homeschooling on Adoptees
- 00:10:00 - Transition to College and Educational Gaps
- 00:11:06 - Intersection of Homeschooling and Adoption
- 00:12:58 - Pressure to Conform in Homeschooling
- 00:14:31 - Potential for Abuse in Homeschooling
- 00:15:41 - Educational Gaps and Social Challenges in College
- 00:17:50 - Emotional Growth and Social Behavior
- 00:19:44 - Recommendations for Improving Homeschooling for Adoptees
- 00:22:18 - Ways to Support Adoptees in Isolated Homeschooling Environments
- 00:26:06 - Advice for Isolated Adoptees
- 00:28:06 - Conclusion and Contact Information
"I really want to focus on the collective nature of being stolen, because it wasn't just me. It was the vast majority of Native adoptees." -- Pete Patton
Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, co-hosted by Beth Syverson and her son Joey, they interview Pete Patton,LCSW, an Indigenous Inuit adoptee who shares his experiences of being stolen and adopted. Pete discusses the historical context of racism in Oregon and the impact it had on Native American communities there and elsewhere. He also delves into his journey of reconnecting with his Indigenous heritage and the healing process he has undergone. Pete highlights the importance of understanding the collective experiences of adoptees and the need for reconnection with ancestors. The conversation sheds light on the complexities of adoption and the importance of listening to and learning from Indigenous voices. The episode emphasizes the significance of acknowledging and honoring the stories of adoptees and the importance of cultural reconnection for healing.
===============
đ2 upcoming Unraveling Adoption eventsđ:
Sunday, August 25, 3pm PST / 6pm EST - Medicine Circle with Mee Ok Icaro: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/medicine-circle-for-adotpees-only-with-mee-ok-icaro-tickets-965417047377
Monday, August 26, 4pm PST / 7pm EST - Adoption and Suicidality Book Launch Event: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/adoption-and-suicidality-book-launch-tickets-965338753197
===============
đGet our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Peteâs information:
- Contact Pete via email at endorphindolphin@gmail.com
- Find the chapter that Pete contributed to in this book: Altogether Us: Integrating the IFS Model with Key Modalities, Communities, and Trends: https://www.amazon.com/Altogether-Us-Integrating-Modalities-Communities/dp/1734958421
- Hear Pete on The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems with Tammy Sollenberger: https://tammysollenberger.com/ifs-and-echoes-of-ancestral-wisdom-stories-of-indigenous-resilience-and-connection-with-suzan-mcvicker-and-pete-patton/
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- IFS Institute (Internal Family Systems): https://ifs-institute.com/
- Here are the books Pete mentions:
- Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge and the Teachings of Plants by Robin Wall Kimmerer: https://www.amazon.com/Braiding-Sweetgrass-Indigenous-Scientific-Knowledge-ebook/dp/B00D0V44LC
- 1491: New Revelations of the Americas Before Columbus by Charles C. Mann: https://www.amazon.com/1491-Second-Revelations-Americas-Columbus-ebook/dp/B000JMKVE4
- The Rediscovery of America: Native Peoples and the Unmaking of U.S. History by Ned Blackhawk: https://www.amazon.com/Rediscovery-America-Unmaking-American-Modernity-ebook/dp/B0BX1BS5VL
- The Memory of Souls by Cliff Taylor: https://www.amazon.com/Memory-Souls-Cliff-Taylor/dp/B08K3YHXGN
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS
- 00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption
- 00:01:24 - Focus on Being Stolen and Adopted
- 00:04:32 - Historical Context of Assimilation Policies
- 00:10:58 - Impact of Cultural Othering
- 00:14:07 - Connecting with Indigenous Community
- 00:18:45 - Seven B's of Indigenous-inspired IFS
- 00:20:20 - Shamanic Death Experience and Spiritual Journey
- 00:23:20 - Impact of Buffalo Population Annihilation
- 00:24:43 - Adoption as an Extension of Boarding Schools
- 00:26:02 - Sharing Collective Experiences of Adoption
- 00:26:56 - Upcoming Events and Conclusion
Adoption and Suicidality with Joey Nakao, Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao, Bruce Porth, Janell Strube, Laura L. Engel, Lorraine Dusky, Terri Dreismeier, and Melissa Brunetti - Ep 158 "Despite working hard on a daily or moment-to-moment basis to stay alive, the poem revealed a thin thread of hope that by turning toward and befriending my pain, I might just find a way through it." -- Bruce Porth, one of the bookâs contributors
â¤ď¸â𩹠If you or someone you know is suicidal, please call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. (Outside US, call your areaâs crisis line.) â¤ď¸âđŠš
Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this special episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson delves into the complexities of adoption and its intersection with suicidality. The episode features conversations with various contributors to the newly released book "Adoption and Suicidality," which includes stories, poems, and resources for adoptees, families, healthcare professionals, and allies.
The episode begins with a heartfelt conversation between Beth and her son, Joey, who co-wrote the book. Joey reflects on his journey through mental health struggles and the healing process, emphasizing the importance of sharing their experiences to help others.
Following this, Beth engages in conversations with seven contributors from the book, each sharing their personal stories and insights related to adoption and suicidality. The contributors, including Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao, Bruce Porth, Janell Strube, Laura Engel, Lorraine Dusky, Terry Dreismeier, and Melissa Brunetti, offer poignant readings from their pieces, shedding light on the emotional complexities and challenges faced within the adoption community.
Throughout the episode, the contributors discuss the stigma surrounding adoption and mental health, the need for open dialogue and education, and the impact of early trauma on mental well-being. They share personal experiences of loss, grief, and resilience, highlighting the importance of community support and understanding.
The episode concludes with a reflection on the powerful and emotional narratives shared, emphasizing the significance of raising awareness, providing resources, and fostering a supportive environment for adoptees and their families. The contributors' raw and honest accounts serve as a catalyst for destigmatizing adoption-related mental health struggles and promoting healing and understanding within the adoption community.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES from this episode:
- Purchase the book Adoption and Suicidality through Amazon as a paperback book, e-book, and audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YCrRva
- Hereâs our website with more information about the book, including the resource list in the back of the book: UnravelingAdoption.com/book
- Find a therapist, coach, or other healing practitioner through the Healing the Adoption Constellation Database: UnravelingAdoption.com/healing
- Find adoption-related support groups and other events through our Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/calendar
- Contact the contributors who spoke in this episode:
- Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao: www.pavaoconsulting.com/
- Bruce Porth: briankeithswanson@gmail.com
- Janell Strube: janellstrube.com
- Laura L. Engel: lauralengel.com
- Lorraine Dusky: forumfirstmother@gmail.com
- Terri Dreismeier: instagram.com/dreismeier
- Melissa Brunetti, SMGIÂŽ Practitioner: somatichealingjourneys.com
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS
- Introduction to the Book: 00:00:03-00:02:10
- Joey's Reflections on the Book: 00:02:14-00:04:07
- Contributorsâ Introductions: 00:12:57-00:13:40
- Contributor Readings and Reflections: 00:13:40-00:25:17
- Discussion on Suicide and Adoption: 00:25:17-00:36:11
- Impact of Adoption on Mental Health: 00:36:29-00:39:06
- Reading Excerpts from Contributors: 00:40:05-01:01:20
- Hope for Readers/Listeners: 01:01:30-01:21:57
"I think my mom, my adoptive mom, was probably scared that she was going to lose me to my birth family." -- Elizabeth Barbour
đđđJoin the Book Launch Team for our book Adoption and Suicidality (which will be published on August 12, 2024) by clicking here: https://forms.gle/JsnpsZUe9EKWNmJT6 đđđ
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson interviews guest Elizabeth Barbour, an adoptee who has been in reunion with her birth parents and 11 siblings since 1999. Elizabeth shares her personal adoption story and highlights the importance of navigating search and reunion in a healthy way. She emphasizes the need for support, education, and personal growth for all members of the adoption triad. Elizabeth also discusses the significance of rituals and ceremonies in maintaining long-term relationships post-reunion. Additionally, she mentions her upcoming book on adoption reunion and the spiritual journey she has experienced through adoption.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
- Connect with Elizabeth at https://elizabethbarbour.com/
- Check out her book, Sacred Celebrations: Designing Rituals to Navigate Lifeâs Milestone Transitions: https://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Celebrations-Designing-Milestone-Transitions/dp/0972468692
- Look into the October 2024 Magical Mountain Retreat in Asheville, NC: www.elizabethbarbour.com/retreats
- Find Elizabeth on social media:
- FB: https://www.facebook.com/elizabethbarbour
- IG: https://www.instagram.com/elizabthbarbour/
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elizabethbarbour/
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
TIME STAMPS:
00:00:00 - Introduction to Adoption and Reunion 00:05:30 - Elizabeth's Reunion Story 00:10:43 - Rituals in Reunion Celebrations 00:13:38 - Impact of Personal Adoption Experience on Parenting 00:15:33 - Family Constellations Workshop Experience 00:17:50 - Advice for Adoptive Parents in Search and Reunion 00:20:24 - Advice for Birth Parents in Reunion 00:22:41 - Spiritual Journey in Adoption and Reunion 00:24:07 - Upcoming Reunion Book Announcement 00:25:15 - Conclusion and Resource Recommendations
âLove is the biggest and best thing that she did â unconditional love." Desmond DeRoo
đđđJoin the Book Launch Team for our soon-to-be-published book, Adoption and Suicidality, by clicking here: https://forms.gle/JsnpsZUe9EKWNmJT6 đđđ
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of the podcast, I had the privilege of speaking with Desmond DeRoo, a 30-year-old currently serving his second prison term in Michigan. Desmond, who was adopted by Sarah DeRoo at the age of five after being in the foster care system, shared his experiences of growing up as a biracial child in a small white town in Michigan. Despite facing intense early childhood trauma and struggles with impulsive behavior, Desmond emphasized the importance of unconditional love and support from his adoptive family, especially his mother, Sarah.
Desmond provided valuable advice for struggling youth, emphasizing the importance of finding one's passion, surrounding oneself with positive influences, and taking responsibility for one's actions. He also highlighted the significance of seeking community support and resources, especially for adoptive parents facing challenges in raising their children.
The episode shed light on the failures of various systems, including the foster care, education, and criminal justice systems, in supporting individuals like Desmond. It underscored the need for greater awareness, empathy, and proactive intervention to prevent marginalized youth from falling through the cracks and entering the prison pipeline.
Overall, Desmond's resilience, wisdom, and commitment to helping others serve as an inspiration for adoptive parents and individuals navigating trauma and adversity. His and his momâs joint message of hope and empowerment resonates with the importance of building supportive communities and advocating for systemic change to create a more inclusive and compassionate society.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Desmond and Saraâs information:
- Connect with Desmond and Sara through their website: https://lovingdesmond.com/
- Buy their book through Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Desmond-DeRoo/dp/B0CZPHNS9K
- Follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lovingdesmondbook/
- Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090386023261
Other Resources:
- Statistics about foster care and prison that were mentioned in the intro: https://cepr.org/voxeu/columns/foster-care-prison-pipeline
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
TIME STAMPS:
- 00:00:00 - Introduction: Beth Syverson introduces herself and her role as an adoptive mom, setting the stage for the podcast episode.
- 00:02:41 - Foster Care to Prison Pipeline Statistics: Discussion on the statistics and challenges faced by former foster children in the criminal justice system.
- 00:06:29 - Desmond and Sara's Background: Introduction to Desmond and Sara DeRoo's story, highlighting their experiences with adoption and trauma.
- 00:09:12 - Desmond's Early Trauma and Challenges: Desmond's struggles as a biracial child in a small white town, his impulsive behavior, and encounters with the criminal justice system.
- 00:12:00 - Sara's Parenting Journey: Sara's experiences as a widow raising six adopted kids and blending families, navigating the complexities of adoption.
- 00:19:12 - Impact of Education System on Desmond: Discussion on how the education system failed Desmond and contributed to his path towards prison.
- 00:25:48 - Advice for Adoptive Parents: Desmond and Sara share advice for parents, emphasizing the importance of love, support, and seeking help.
- 00:35:16 - Desmond's Advice for Struggling Youth: Desmond offers advice for struggling youth, focusing on finding passion, surrounding oneself with positive influences, and taking responsibility for actions.
- 00:42:09 - Desmond's Future Plans Post-Prison: Desmond discusses his plans post-prison, including working with kids and using his experiences to help others.
- 00:46:55 - Final Thoughts and Advice on Adoption Journey: Desmond and Sara emphasize the importance of community, seeking support, and being open about struggles in the adoption journey.
"We have only ourselves. And when I'm thinking about that, I'm thinking how strong we are. Because we have survived and still live and still create and still talk about our history." -- Kâlånguak Absalonsen
đđđJoin the Book Launch Team for our soon-to-be-published book Adoption and Suicidality by clicking here: https://forms.gle/JsnpsZUe9EKWNmJT6 đđđ
Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Kâlånguak Absalonsen, an adopted person from Greenland living in Denmark. Kâlånguak shared her unique perspective on adoption, colonization, and the challenges faced by Inuit people in Denmark. She highlighted the impact of colonization on adoption practices and the struggle to maintain cultural identity in a foreign environment.
KâlĂĄnguakâs personal journey of self-discovery and reconnecting with her Inuit roots was both inspiring and heartbreaking. She emphasized the importance of giving voice to marginalized communities, like Inuit adoptees, and the strength it takes to navigate the complexities of adoption without the support of family.
Through her blog, book, and advocacy work, Kâlånguak is shedding light on the experiences of Inuit adoptees and challenging the narratives imposed on them by society. Her resilience and determination to reclaim her identity serve as a powerful reminder of the strength within adoptees.
As the host, I was deeply moved by KâlĂĄnguakâs story and her courage to speak out. I encourage listeners to visit her website, read her book, and support her efforts to amplify the voices of Inuit adoptees. Let's continue to spread awareness and understanding of adoption's complexities and support adoptees in their journey of self-discovery and healing.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES: KâlĂĄnguakâs contact information:
- Discovery KâlĂĄnguakâs website (in English and Danish): https://www.kalanguak.dk/
- Connect with Kâlånguak on Facebook and find her blog posts (translatable on Facebook): https://www.facebook.com/karen.k.andersen.94
- Hereâs her beadwork on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/perlebroderisten/
- Check out KâlĂĄnguakâs beading handiwork in a video: https://youtu.be/NOGJbrMJENY
- And hereâs the cover of her beautiful book (in Danish) called Lille:
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
Time Stamps: 00:00:00 - Introduction to Kâlånguak and adoption in Denmark 00:01:32 - History Lesson on Greenland and Denmark 00:04:04 - Kâlånguak's Adoption Story 00:08:18 - Challenges Faced Growing Up in Denmark 00:11:04 - Learning Style Differences 00:13:35 - Transition to Adulthood and Career Path 00:15:56 - Discovering Learning Disability 00:19:36 - Estrangement from Adoptive Parents 00:22:08 - Impact of Colonization on Identity 00:24:34 - The Impact of Adoption on Kâlånguak's Life 00:26:37 - Advocacy for Inuit People and Adoptees 00:30:26 - Strength and Resilience of Adoptees
"The experience of being stuck is a pretty good place to be, I think, a lot of times in therapy and life." - Stephen Rowley
đđđJoin the Book Launch Team for our soon-to-be-published book Adoption and Suicidality by clicking here: https://forms.gle/JsnpsZUe9EKWNmJT6 đđđ
Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Stephen Rowley, a school administrator, college professor, and psychotherapist who shared his fascinating journey of adoption and destiny. Steve's memoir, The Lost Coin: A Memoir of Adoption and Destiny, delves into the complexities of adoption and the impact it has had on his life.
Steve shared insights into his adoption experience, including the profound moment of reconnecting with his birth mother at the age of 40. This emotional reunion brought a sense of closure and connection that Steve had been yearning for, despite the challenges and complexities that came with it.
Throughout the conversation, Steve delved into the Zen concept of the lost coin, highlighting the idea of mystery and intuition in navigating life's challenges and uncertainties. He shared how his adoption and relinquishment played a significant role in shaping his response to being fired from his superintendent job, leading to a period of introspection and growth.
We explored Steve's deep connection to spirituality, psychology, and therapy, discussing the importance of patience, resilience, and self-discovery in navigating life's obstacles. Steve's unique perspective on karma, belief systems, and the concept of designing one's own life path provided thought-provoking insights into personal growth and understanding.
As an advocate for progressive education and a believer in creating schools that work for all children, Steve shared his vision for transformative educational practices. His experiences growing up in the Midwest and the values instilled by his family underscored the importance of respect, kindness, and community in shaping his worldview.
Overall, Steve's story of adoption, resilience, and spiritual growth provided a powerful narrative of self-discovery and the transformative power of embracing life's challenges with patience and curiosity.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Stephenâs information:
- Buy Stephenâs book, The Lost Coin: A Memoir of Adoption and Destiny: https://amzn.to/3xWtb11
- Check out Stephenâs website: https://stephenrowley108.com/
- Find Stephen:
- on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/srowley108
- on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stephenrowley108/
- on LinkedIn: http://linkedin.com/in/stephen-rowley-ma-lmhc-b83ab811
- or on X (Twitter): https://twitter.com/srowley108
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
TIME STAMPS:
00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption 00:05:30 - Unexpected Turn of Events 00:08:09 - Impact of Adoption on Firing 00:10:28 - Reflections on Life Choices 00:14:27 - Exploring Existential Questions 00:17:21 - Finding Meaning in Adversity 00:20:16 - Vision for Progressive Education 00:21:28 - Influence of Midwest Upbringing 00:23:34 - Contact Information and Conclusion
Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I, Beth Syverson, provide a detailed update on the latest happenings within the Unraveling Adoption community. As an adoptive mom to my son Joey, we are dedicated to delving into the complexities of adoption and providing support to those impacted by adoption.
Book Launch Announcement: The main highlight of this episode is the impending launch of our first book in the Unraveling Adoption book series. Titled Adoption and Suicidality, this anthology features stories, poems, and resources for adoptees, families, healthcare professionals, and allies. The book, co-authored by Joey and me along with 14 contributors, aims to open up conversations about suicide, a crucial but often overlooked topic in the adoption community.
The book features contributions from 11 adoptees who share their personal struggles with suicidality, as well as three mothers who tragically lost their children to suicide. Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao, an adoptee and psychotherapist, has written the Foreword, lending her expertise to the project. The book is divided into three sections: our family story, contributions from adoptees and mothers, and a comprehensive list of resources for support.
Listeners are invited to join the book launch team, where they can receive a free copy of the book in advance and help spread the word on social media. The goal is to reach a wide audience, including therapists, pediatricians, adoption agencies, and individuals with struggling teens.
I also discuss upcoming books in the series, focusing on topics like adoption and sacred plant medicine and adoption and ADHD.
Community Engagement:
Listeners are encouraged to explore the Unraveling Adoption Patreon, where they can support the podcast and gain access to exclusive benefits. I express gratitude to current Patreon supporters and extend an invitation to join the community.
Coaching Services: As a certified coach, I offer coaching services aimed at validating experiences and guiding individuals towards solutions. Special discounts are available for podcast listeners who book coaching sessions in July 2024.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES mentioned in this episode:
- Join the Adoption and Suicidality Book Launch Team here: https://forms.gle/iTtF7Eu4Ph6EWNNw6
- Hear previous episodes by some of our bookâs contributors:
- Addressing LGBTQ+ Adoption Stigmas with Tony Hynes - Ep 93: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/26827452
- Exposing the Dangers of Secrets & Lies with Greg Rostron - Ep 97: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/27097293
- Coming Out of the Fog with Melissa Brunetti - Ep 106: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/27730794
- Investigating Adoption's Fault Lines with Birth Mother Lorraine Dusky - Ep 108: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/27854574
-
Healing Adoption Trauma Through Alternative Therapies with Ridghaus - Ep 113: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/28184255
-
Access the Healing the Adoption Constellation Database here: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
- Access the Community Calendar here: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
- Become a Patreon supporter here for as little as $5/month: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
- Find out more about my coaching here: UnravelingAdoption.com/Coaching
- Other recent podcasts featuring our familyâs story:
- Beth and Joey on Charlyn Spieringâs Adoption Uncovered podcast: https://adoptionuncovered.com/2024/05/21/a-path-through-suicidality-with-beth-syverson-and-joey-nakao/
- Beth and Joey on Lisa Annâs Wandering Tree podcast: https://www.listennotes.com/podcasts/wandering-tree-llc/s4e6-from-isolation-to-Cnm9A3S5_4D/
- Beth on Speaking of Teens with Ann Coleman: https://speakingofteens.com/141-2/
- Beth on Mee Ok Icaroâs podcast Live Your True Story: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZMfoByZRdQ
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
00:00:00 - Introduction and Book Announcement 00:04:50 - Book Launch Team Invitation 00:05:32 - Resources and Ways to Get Involved 00:07:07 - Collaboration with Podcast Guests 00:08:09 - Patreon Supporter Recognition 00:13:19 - Coaching Services Offered
âPsychedelics can offer a portal to other consciousnesses and open spaces beyond our regular reality.â -- Mee Ok Icaro (adoptee)
âPsychedelics can be a powerful tool for deep work and accessing feelingsâ. - Leslie Pate Mackinnon (birth mom)
âPsychedelics can lead to transformative experiences, dividing life into before and after the journey.â -- Beth Syverson (adoptive parent)
All adoption constellation members (adoptees, birth/first parents, adoptive parents, and other allies) are invited to a Medicine Circle on July 7, 2024, led by Mee Ok Icaro and hosted by Unraveling Adoption. Register here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/medicine-circle-for-the-adoption-constellationwith-mee-ok-icaro-tickets-925600595297
Episode Summary: In this episode, we are joined by two previous guests, Leslie Pate Mackinnon and Mee Ok Icaro, to discuss the role of sacred plant medicine in their personal healing journeys and its potential to bring the adoption community together.
Leslie, a birth mother, shares her experience of coming out of the adoption fog and how plant medicine has helped her access deep-seated trauma, both psychological and physical. She emphasizes the importance of doing thorough research, having a support system in place, and being open to sharing one's authentic self within the adoption community.
Mee Ok, a Korean adoptee, highlights the transformative power of plant medicine in connecting with her ancestry and understanding the interconnectedness of her lineage. She emphasizes the need for adoptees to have a voice in the adoption narrative and the importance of collective healing within the community.
Beth, an adoptive mother, shares her journey of exploring plant medicine as a means of healing her own trauma and supporting her son through his struggles. She reflects on the role of adoptive parents in collaborating with adoptees and birth parents to create a more compassionate and understanding adoption community.
The conversation delves into the challenges and rewards of integrating plant medicine into the adoption healing process, emphasizing the need for compassion, understanding, and collaboration among all members of the adoption constellation. The guests discuss the importance of personal healing as a foundation for collective healing and the potential for plant medicine to facilitate deeper connections and empathy within the adoption community.
As the episode concludes, the guests offer insights and advice for individuals interested in exploring plant medicine within the context of adoption, encouraging a mindful and intentional approach to healing and fostering unity within the adoption community. The episode serves as a reminder of the power of compassion, understanding, and shared experiences in promoting healing and growth within the adoption community.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Mee Okâs contact information:
- Connect with Mee Ok through her website: https://holdingcompassionate.space/
- Find out about Mee Okâs November 2024 ayahuasca retreat at Soltara in Costa Rica: https://holdingcompassionate.space/soltara-retreat/
-
Follow Mee Ok:
- on Substack: meeok.substack.com
- on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dasmeeok
- and on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dasmeeok/
Leslieâs contact information:
- Reach Leslie through her website: https://lesliepatemackinnon.com/
- Follow Leslie on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063478541379
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- Read Michael Pollanâs book, How to Change Your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence: https://amzn.to/4cehIZF
- Soltara Healing Center (Costa Rica): https://tinyurl.com/meeok - use MEEOK at checkout for a $200 discount.
- Indigenous Medicine Declaration summarized by Mee Ok Icaro: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1tttSgW6k9Lfvj3KtPrYJXPJ8jjO_b6QV/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=117433279134255670011&rtpof=true&sd=true
- Hear Mee Okâs previous Unraveling Adoption podcast episode, âAyahuasca for Transforming Trauma and Pain with Mee Ok Icaroâ: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/28697873
- Hear Leslieâs previous Unraveling Adoption podcast episode, âA Birth Mother's Perspective with Leslie Pate Mackinnonâ: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/25530480
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS
- Introduction to the Podcast: 00:00:02-00:00:12
- Guest Introductions and Topic Introduction: 00:00:12-00:00:55
- Personal Experiences with Plant Medicine: 00:00:55-00:01:30
- Discussion on Individual Healing with Plant Medicine: 00:01:30-00:02:40
- Leslie's Introduction and Adoption Journey: 00:02:40-00:03:54
- Beth's Introduction and Adoption Journey: 00:04:00-00:05:40
- Miyo Kikuro's Introduction and Adoption Journey: 00:05:40-00:06:22
- Reasons for Pursuing Plant Medicines: 00:06:22-00:08:56
- Impact of Plant Medicines on Healing: 00:08:56-00:10:21
- Ancestral Healing and Insights: 00:10:21-00:12:20
- Healing in Relation to Adoption: 00:12:20-00:14:55
- Preparation and Support for Plant Medicine Journeys: 00:15:00-00:27:03
- Personal Growth and Community Healing: 00:27:03-00:39:41
- Collective Healing and Collaboration: 00:39:47-00:46:33
"Being trans was not in my product description, and my 30-day money-back guarantee return policy has long since expired." -- Sanjay Pulver
Read the transcript here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01J0SD1AHPJ1FJB1CNPPBS59TC
Episode Synopsis In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of hosting Sanjay Pulver, a transracial intercountry adoptee from India, who shared his unique journey as a trans man raised by white parents in San Diego, California. Sanjay's story sheds light on the complexities of being an adoptee and navigating the intersections of adoption, gender identity, and cultural heritage.
Sanjay shared his origin story, revealing his relinquishment in a small village outside of Hyderabad, India, and his subsequent adoption journey to the United States. He discussed the challenges of not having access to information about his biological family and the cultural barriers in India that hinder reunion efforts for adoptees.
The conversation delved into Sanjay's experience of questioning his gender identity from a young age and his journey towards transitioning, both socially and medically. He candidly discussed the complexities of coming out as a lesbian before transitioning and the mixed reactions from his adoptive parents, who initially wanted a daughter from India.
As a trans adoptee, Sanjay highlighted the additional layers of identity and the challenges he faces in finding acceptance and understanding within both the adoptee and LGBTQ+ communities. He emphasized the importance of allyship and respect for trans individuals, urging listeners to prioritize using correct pronouns and avoiding invasive questions about surgeries or procedures.
The episode also touched on the dangers and legislative challenges faced by trans individuals in the current political climate, emphasizing the need for support and advocacy to ensure the safety and well-being of the trans community.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Sanjayâs information:
- Find Sanjay on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sanjay.pulver/
- Listen to Sanjayâs episode on Haley Radkeâs Adoptees On podcast: https://www.adopteeson.com/listen/276
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
- 00:05:30 - Adoption Trends from India: Sanjay Pulver discusses the history and trends of intercountry adoption from India.
- 00:08:03 - Questioning Gender Identity: Sanjay shares about when he started questioning his gender identity.
- 00:09:35 - Transitioning Process: Sanjay talks about his process of transitioning, both socially and medically.
- 00:11:07 - Parental Acceptance: Discussion on how Sanjay's adoptive parents reacted to his coming out as gay.
- 00:12:53 - Fear of Rejection: Sanjay expresses his concerns about potential rejection from his adoptive parents due to his gender identity.
- 00:14:13 - Reunion Considerations: Sanjay reflects on the complexities of potentially reuniting with his birth family in India.
- 00:17:43 - Transgender Rights: Sanjay highlights the challenges faced by trans individuals in the current political climate.
- 00:19:48 - Allyship for Trans People: Sanjay provides insights on how individuals can be better allies to the trans community.
- 00:22:43 - Respectful Communication: Discussion on the importance of respectful communication and boundaries when interacting with trans individuals.
- 00:24:03 - Support and Connection: Sanjay shares his contact information and future projects related to adoptees and the LGBTQ+ community.
- 00:27:00 - Advocacy and Recognition: Sanjay emphasizes the importance of advocacy for marginalized communities and recognition of trans elders.
"I think it's really important at this moment for us in our society to understand that we collectively and continuously, in every little micro level ways and macro level ways, differentially value mothers in America, and we are still making decisions that are rooted in really bigoted assumptions, that are rooted in racism." -- Rebecca Wellington
Read the transcript: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01J09C5Y6TQQ0BNNNA4NWA8M8Q
Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson welcomes guest Rebecca Wellington, an adoptee, mom, and historian, to discuss the complexities of motherhood in the context of adoption. Rebecca's new book, Who is a Worthy Mother?, serves as a hybrid memoir and adoption history, delving into the societal perceptions of motherhood and adoption in the U.S.
Rebecca shares her personal adoption story, highlighting the challenges and complexities she faced growing up as an adoptee. She reflects on her journey of self-discovery and the impact of motherhood on her understanding of adoption trauma. The conversation touches on the historical context of adoption policies, including eugenics and forced sterilizations, shedding light on the systemic injustices faced by marginalized communities.
The discussion also explores the recent overturning of Roe v. Wade and its implications on adoption and motherhood. Rebecca emphasizes the need for a deeper understanding of how societal biases and prejudices shape perceptions of motherhood and adoption. The episode concludes with a call to action for listeners to engage with Rebecca's book, share their reviews, and join the conversation on adoption and mothering.
The episode serves as a thought-provoking exploration of the intersection of adoption, motherhood, and historical injustices, inviting listeners to reflect on their own beliefs and perceptions surrounding these topics.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Rebeccaâs information:
- Reach out to Rebecca and find all her links at https://linktr.ee/rebeccawellington
- Order Rebeccaâs book Who Is a Worthy Mother? here: https://amzn.to/3XFoyD9
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency by Sharon Kaplan Roszia and Allison Davis Maxon: https://amzn.to/3z2ZrQk
- "You Should Bea Grateful": Stories of Race, Identity, and Transracial Adoption by Angela Tucker: https://amzn.to/3KI0iIz
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
00:00:00 - Introduction to the Podcast 00:05:30 - Becca's Adoption Story 00:10:00 - Impact of Roe vs. Wade 00:16:00 - History of Eugenics and Forced Sterilizations 00:20:00 - Understanding Motherhood in America 00:22:00 - Book Information and Call for Reviews
"I'm just enjoying the journey. What happens when the journey is over? Then what? So I'm just chasing the buzz." - Ryan Anderson
Read the transcript; or read along while listening, if you have trouble udnerstanding Ryan's lovely Scottish accent: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01HZTEF176BBAYC769S710N7JB
Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Ryan Anderson, a foundling and transnational, transracial, and late discovery adoptee. Ryan shared his incredible journey of being found on the streets of Morocco as an infant and later being adopted by an English mother and Moroccan father in Scotland. The revelation of his adoption at the age of 18 sent him on a tumultuous path of self-medication with alcohol and drugs, but he has been sober for 10 months now.
Ryan's story is one of resilience and determination as he embarks on a relentless search for his birth family in Morocco. Despite facing challenges such as language barriers and limited resources, Ryan has not given up hope. He has explored various avenues, including DNA testing, visiting hospitals and courts in Morocco, and even appearing on Moroccan TV to share his story.
Throughout the episode, Ryan candidly discusses his struggles with mental health, the impact of his adoption on his identity, and the ongoing quest to find his roots. Despite facing negative comments and setbacks, Ryan remains steadfast in his pursuit, driven by a deep yearning to connect with his biological family.
As the host, I was struck by Ryan's unwavering determination and vulnerability in sharing his story. His journey serves as a poignant reminder of the complexities of adoption and the profound longing for belonging. Ryan's courage and resilience in the face of adversity are truly inspiring, and his willingness to share his experiences sheds light on the emotional complexities of the adoption journey.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Ryan (Peshy)âs information:
- Connect with Ryan on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/peshy37
- Or find him on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/peshy
- Watch Ryanâs 15-minute YouTube video about his life: https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=4C-LNcmxdFk&feature=youtu.be
- Read Ryanâs 37-page story: https://peshy37.wordpress.com/2021/02/18/my-story/?
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
If you enjoy our podcast, please RATE and/or REVIEW Unraveling Adoption on Apple or Spotify. It really helps our episodes reach more ears. Thank you!
===============
Timestamps: * 00:00:02 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption: Beth Syverson introduces the podcast and herself as an adoptive mom. * 00:03:10 - Desire to Help Others: Ryan Anderson discusses his burning desire to help others and his people-pleasing tendencies. * 00:06:42 - Discovery of Adoption at 18: Ryan shares his experience of finding out about his adoption at the age of 18 and the impact it had on him. * 00:10:06 - Coping Mechanisms During COVID: Ryan talks about how COVID-19 impacted his partying habits and led to a period of sobriety. * 00:12:25 - Ongoing Search for Birth Family: Ryan discusses his ongoing search for his birth family in Morocco and the challenges he faces. * 00:21:14 - Near Kidnapping Experience: Ryan recounts a harrowing experience of almost being kidnapped during a trip to Morocco. * 00:24:43 - Balancing Life and Adoption Search: Ryan reflects on the balance between searching for his birth family and living his life to the fullest. * 00:30:07 - Journey to Sobriety: Ryan shares his journey to sobriety and the importance of finding balance in his life.
"I truly felt the weight of the world telling the story. I felt like it was a great responsibility, but I had to do it." -- Kristal Parke
Read the transcript here:
https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01HZE3F00W8S92RJM8N2F3METT
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of interviewing Kristal Parke, an adoptee and filmmaker behind the acclaimed documentary Because She's Adopted. Kristal shared her journey of self-discovery and identity exploration through the creation of her film, which delves into her childhood, reunion with her birth mother, struggle with addiction, and intentional reconnection with her Indigenous heritage. The film has received critical acclaim and won awards, shedding light on the complexities of adoption.
Kristal discussed the impact of her film on her family, crew, and herself, highlighting the vulnerability and growth that came with sharing her story. She emphasized the importance of owning her narrative and the evolution of her understanding of adoption. The podcast episode also touched on the behind-the-scenes process of creating the documentary, including the support of her adoptive family, crew members, and the challenges and joys of filming.
Listeners were encouraged to watch the film, which is set to be officially released by fall 2024. Kristal shared details on how to stay connected with updates and screenings.
===============
ADOPTIVE PARENTS:
âI didn't want to lose them. I loved them both and I thought, it's hard to think about your life separated. I guess now knowing all that I know about being separated from the first person that I was supposed to be with, you know, I just never wanted to be separated from either one of them.â -- Jane Spreckley
Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, the host, Beth Syverson, interviews Jane Spreckley, an adoptee whose adoptive parents divorced when she was 14 years old. Jane shares her experience of how the divorce activated her abandonment issues and impacted her relationships. She emphasizes the importance of adoptive parents seeking therapy with adoption-competent therapists for their children during difficult times like divorce. Jane also highlights the significance of open communication and compassion within families going through similar situations. The conversation sheds light on the complexities adoptees face during divorce and the need for understanding and support.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Janeâs information:
- Find Jane on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/jane.spreckley.9
- Email Jane at Spreck529@verizon.net
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Timestamps: * 00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption Podcast * 00:05:30 - Jane's Experience with Parents' Divorce * 00:10:00 - Realization of Impact from First Abandonment * 00:13:30 - Advice for Adoptive Parents Going Through Divorce * 00:17:20 - Advice for Adoptees Dealing with Divorcing Parents * 00:20:00 - Encouragement for Self-Compassion and Support for Jane * 00:21:30 - Gratitude to Patreon Supporters and Call to Share the Episode
âI have a hard time believing in love, that love just really exists, that you can love somebody. Then I feel like I have a hard time loving men and stuff, so I wouldn't want them to get hurt if they ever felt like I didn't love them.â - Tammy Murphy
Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Tammy Murphy, a Black, same-race, domestic adoptee living in Indiana. Tammy shared her struggles with social anxiety and dissociation, stemming from her adoption experience. She recounted how her adoptive mother's inconsistent responses to her questions about being adopted led to confusion and a sense of not belonging. Tammy also shared her journey of self-medication with substances like alcohol and marijuana to cope with her feelings of disconnect and identity crisis.
Despite facing challenges in forming deep relationships and feeling a sense of authenticity, Tammy has taken steps towards healing. She recently started therapy and has begun journaling to identify triggers and coping mechanisms. Tammy expressed her aspirations to become an adoption therapist and to write a memoir titled Two to Forgive, focusing on forgiveness towards her birth mother and adoptive mother.
Throughout the episode, Tammy emphasized the importance of honesty in adoptive families, early communication about adoption, and seeking therapy and self-help resources to navigate the complexities of adoption trauma.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Resource mentioned in this episode:
- Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency: A Comprehensive Guide to Promoting Understanding and Healing In Adoption, Foster Care, Kinship Families and Third Party Reproduction: https://amzn.to/3QLyqXF
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
TIME STAMPS:
00:05:30 - Connecting with Others as an Adoptee 00:11:01 - Seeking Therapy and Beginning to Address Adoption Trauma 00:14:06 - Future Goals: Becoming an Adoption Therapist 00:15:50 - Advice for Adoptive Parents: Honesty and Openness 00:16:40 - Impact of Lies and Deception on Adoptees 00:18:16 - Advice for Adoptees: Therapy, Emotional Intelligence, and Coping Strategies
"I'm in a great place, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally." -- Joey Nakao
Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this heartfelt episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson welcomes her son, Joey, back to the podcast after a five-month hiatus. Joey, a courageous 20-year-old in recovery from addiction, shares his journey of sobriety and self-discovery with listeners.
The episode delves into Joey's recent experiences at Hazelden Betty Ford in Palm Springs, where he is participating in a PHP (Partial Hospitalization Program). Joey reflects on the challenges he has faced during his recovery, including moments of discomfort and the temptation to leave the program. However, he credits the supportive community at the treatment center for helping him stay grounded and committed to his sobriety.
Joey opens up about his transformative experiences with meditation, where he received messages of healing and self-preservation. He also discusses his plans for the future, including moving into an apartment with a friend from rehab and continuing his recovery journey.
As the episode unfolds, Beth and Joey discuss their upcoming book, Adoptees and Suicidality, which aims to shed light on the connection between adoption and mental health struggles. Joey expresses his desire to be more involved in the podcast and potentially pursue a career in counseling or recovery support.
Throughout the episode, Joey emphasizes the importance of honesty, self-nurturing, and community support in the recovery process. He encourages listeners struggling with addiction to stay hopeful and seek help from those who can hold their truth with compassion.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
- Hear an earlier episode with Joey and Beth about suicidality: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/25558716
- Hazelden Betty Ford Addiction and Mental Health Treatment Services (with services throughout the US): https://www.hazeldenbettyford.org/
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Timestamps: * 00:05:30 - Joey's Recovery Journey: Joey discusses his experience with recovery and the challenges he faced in previous attempts. * 00:10:17 - Importance of Community in Recovery: Joey emphasizes the role of community and support in his recovery journey. * 00:15:07 - Milestones in Recovery: Joey reflects on his progress in recovery and the importance of taking it day by day. * 00:17:14 - Comparison between SMART Recovery and AA: Joey explains the differences between SMART Recovery and Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) in terms of approach and structure. * 00:18:28 - Transformative Meditation Experiences: Joey shares his experiences with meditation and the insights he gained during the practice. * 00:21:35 - Unraveling Adoption Book Announcement: Beth discusses the upcoming release of the book Adoptees and Suicidality and its significance in raising awareness about suicide. * 00:23:20 - Overcoming Stigma in Recovery: Joey encourages understanding and compassion for individuals struggling with addiction, emphasizing the importance of support and empathy. * 00:24:17 - Message of Hope for Those Struggling: Joey offers words of encouragement and advice for individuals facing addiction, highlighting the importance of honesty and seeking support.
"Taiko drumming is a wonderful way to release lots of negative energy and have it transformed into positive energy. " -- Jennifer Weir
Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson welcomes guest Jennifer Weir, a Korean adoptee who connected with her Asian identity through Taiko drumming. Jennifer shares her journey of being adopted from South Korea at a young age and growing up in North Dakota with very little Asian representation. Despite facing bullying and struggles with identity, Jennifer found solace in Taiko drumming, eventually becoming the executive director of Taiko Arts Midwest.
The episode delves into Jennifer's experience organizing a groundbreaking concert featuring elite women Taiko drummers from Japan, the US, and Canada. The concert, captured in the award-winning documentary Finding Her Beat, highlighted the challenges faced by women in the male-dominated Taiko industry. The film showcases the power of Taiko drumming as a form of expression and healing, resonating with audiences worldwide.
Beth and Jennifer discuss the complexities of Asian identity, the importance of processing grief, and the transformative power of Taiko drumming in navigating personal struggles. Jennifer's journey from a Korean adoptee to a Taiko drumming powerhouse serves as an inspiration to adoptees and individuals exploring their cultural heritage.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Resources mentioned in this episode: * Finding Her Beat documentary: https://www.herbeatfilm.com/ * HERbeat: Taiko Women All-Stars (Full Concert Video): https://vimeo.com/ondemand/herbeat * TaikoArts Midwest: https://www.taikoartsmidwest.org/
Other Resources: * APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude * Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com * Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Timestamps: 00:01:05 - Guest Introduction: Jennifer Weir, Korean Adoptee 00:02:20 - Jennifer's Adoption Story: Arrival in the U.S. 00:03:31 - Growing Up in North Dakota as an Asian Adoptee 00:06:00 - Lack of Asian Cultural Connection in Childhood 00:08:00 - Experience of Bullying and Microaggressions in School 00:09:37 - Jennifer's Response to Bullying and Racism 00:11:59 - Vulnerable Story of Dealing with Bullying 00:13:32 - Coping with Rage 00:15:11 - Taiko Drumming is Cathartic and Therapeutic 00:16:08 - Women in Taiko Drumming: Gender Dynamics 00:17:13 - Empowering Women in Taiko Drumming 00:19:53 - Production of "Finding Her Beat" Documentary 00:21:38 - Jennifer's Family Involvement in Taiko Drumming 00:22:05 - Choosing Japanese Taiko Drumming over Korean Drumming 00:25:20 - Impact of Finding Her Beat on the Adoptee Community 00:27:02 - Information on Finding Her Beat film and TaikoArts Midwest 00:28:02 - Support Unraveling Adoption Podcast and Patreon Membership
"...when you're walking around with a sense of loss, or you feel like your first mother or first family don't want you, there's two ways you go about this. Either A, you're going to get really enmeshed and get real clingy because you don't want to lose. Or B, you get this detachment, and as adoptees and groups sometimes say, âI'm going to leave you before you leave me.â" -- Jonathan Newbern
Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of hosting Jonathan Newbern, a same-race domestic adoptee deeply involved with Codependents Anonymous (CODA). Jonathan shared his poignant adoption journey, marked by a late discovery of his adoption status and a tumultuous childhood. He bravely delved into the connection between relinquishment trauma, adoption trauma, reunion trauma, and codependency, shedding light on the complexities adoptees often face.
Jonathan's personal experiences and insights into codependency from an adoptee's perspective provided valuable tools and practical advice for those struggling with similar issues. He emphasized the importance of seeking help, setting boundaries, and engaging in self-care practices to navigate the challenges of codependency.
Throughout the episode, Jonathan's vulnerability and resilience shone through as he shared his journey of healing and growth. His message of empowerment and self-worth resonated deeply, reminding listeners that they are not alone in their struggles.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Jonathanâs information:
- Jonathan on Instragram: https://www.instagram.com/jonknee1/
- Jonathan on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jon.newbern
- Email Jonathan: jonknee51475@gmail.com
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- Codependents Anonymous (CODA): https://coda.org/
- Adoption Mosaic: https://adoptionmosaic.com/
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
Timestamps 00:00:00 - Introduction to Adoption and Codependency 00:05:30 - Jonathan's Adoption Story Unveiled 00:10:45 - Codependency and Attachment Styles 00:17:05 - Jonathan's Journey to Codependents Anonymous 00:20:39 - Recovery Tools and Self-Care Practices 00:22:06 - Embracing the Adoption Constellation 00:26:20 - Contact Information for Jonathan
Sexuality and Adoption: Insights from a Transracial Adoptee and Sex Therapist "For me, sexual and reproductive health or our sexuality is so connected with attraction, with attachment style, with self-esteem, with the wish for connecting and creating long-term bonds." -- Anna Linde
Read the transcript: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01HVN38Q94D5ZXH9GR708NDX4E
Adoptive parents, you're invited to a webinar that Anna Linde will be leading on June 5, 2024. More information and register here: https://AnnaLinde.eventbrite.com
"I hate when people say that my life should be a movie. Can we just ban that phrase?" - Jeremy
Read the transcript here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01HV5M7AN2D7GP4H2P1NBVSNMQ
Episode Summary:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson delves into the complexities of adoption alongside her guest, Jeremy, a 24-year-old adopted person from Texas. Jeremy shares his journey of struggling with various health issues and neurodivergence, only to discover the genetic roots of his challenges after reuniting with his birth family in 2022.
Jeremy's adoption story unfolds as he recounts being adopted in Albuquerque, New Mexico, from a birth family in Denver. Raised in Texas by adoptive parents who were open about his adoption but painted a negative picture of his birth mother, Jeremy grew up questioning his identity and health issues without a clear genetic history.
As Jeremy navigates his health challenges, including asthma, joint pain, and dysautonomia, he sheds light on the importance of knowing one's genetic background for proper diagnosis and treatment. With a recent diagnosis of hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS), Jeremy emphasizes the need for healthcare professionals to recognize and address invisible disabilities like EDS.
Through his journey of self-discovery and reunion with his birth family, Jeremy finds validation and understanding in shared experiences with relatives who also have EDS. He highlights the significance of acceptance and support from adoptive families, healthcare providers, and the community in addressing the unique needs of adoptees with complex medical histories.
Listeners are encouraged to reflect on the impact of closed adoptions, ableism, and stigma surrounding birth parents, as Beth and Jeremy advocate for a more inclusive and informed approach to adoption and healthcare. The episode concludes with a call to action for spreading awareness and support for adoptees facing health challenges and seeking reunion.
To connect with Jeremy and explore more adoption-related content, visit his Instagram account, Borderline Adoptee. Additionally, listeners are invited to engage with Unraveling Adoption through their website and Patreon community to support ongoing discussions and resources for adoptive families and individuals impacted by adoption. Stay tuned for more insightful conversations and stories on Unraveling Adoption.
===============
đ Community Calendar: http://unravelingadoption.com/calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: http://unravelingadoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES FROM THIS EPISODE:
- Find Jeremy at BorderlineAdoptee on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/borderlineadoptee/
- Find out more about Ehlerâs Danlos Syndrome (EDS) here: https://www.ehlers-danlos.com/what-is-eds/
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
TIMESTAMPS
- 00:00:02 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption: Beth Syverson introduces the podcast and shares her personal connection to adoption.
- 00:01:05 - Jeremy's Adoption Story: Jeremy shares his adoption story, including details about his birth family and upbringing.
- 00:03:01 - Searching for Birth Mother: Jeremy talks about his search for his birth mother and the impact of not knowing his genetic history.
- 00:05:30 - Discovering Neurodivergence: Jeremy discusses his diagnosis of neurodivergence and the challenges he faced growing up.
- 00:06:28 - Diagnosis of Asperger's: Jeremy shares his diagnosis of Asperger's and the challenges he faced due to misconceptions about his condition.
- 00:08:09 - Uncovering Health Conditions: Jeremy talks about the health issues he faced as a child and the discovery of his genetic conditions later in life.
- 00:10:49 - Reunion with Birth Father: Jeremy discusses meeting his birth father and the lack of medical information provided by him.
- 00:13:41 - Understanding Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome: Jeremy explains Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, a genetic connective tissue disorder, and his journey to diagnosis.
- 00:18:46 - Impact of Genetic Knowledge: Jeremy reflects on how knowing his genetic history from the beginning could have positively impacted his self-identity and health management.
- 00:21:44 - Advocating for Adoptees' Health: Jeremy discusses the importance of healthcare professionals and adoptive families supporting adoptees in managing their medical diagnoses.
- 00:23:35 - Addressing Ableism and Misconceptions: Jeremy highlights the need to combat ableism and misconceptions surrounding invisible disabilities like EDS.
- 00:27:00 - Connecting with Jeremy: Jeremy shares his Instagram handle for further engagement and invites others in the adoption community to reach out.
"I want to normalize the practice of spirituality and ancestral rituals. They're a normal part of our lives." Helena Soholm, PhD
Read the Transcript here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01HTRHNP4AKM7DD2K35958K78A
Episode Summary Beth Syverson, the host of the podcast Unraveling Adoption, welcomes Dr. Helena Soholm as a guest on the show. Dr. Soholm, a Korean mudang or shaman, shares her unique journey of combining contemporary forms of shamanism and psychology to help adoptees connect with their ancestors. Despite not being an adoptee herself, Helena has been instrumental in assisting Korean adoptees in their healing process through communication with their ancestors.
Helena's childhood experiences in Korea, surrounded by intuitive women and spiritual gifts, laid the foundation for her eventual path as a shaman. Her awakening to the power of ancestors led her to integrate psychology and shamanism in a profound way. Through her work, she has helped adoptees navigate their complex emotions and traumas by facilitating connections with their ancestral lineage.
The podcast delves into Helena's personal journey, including her initiation as a mudang in 2018 and her experiences working with adoptees in both Korea and Denmark. She emphasizes the importance of developing one's spiritual authority and trusting oneself for healing. Dr. Soholm's approach focuses on empowering individuals to connect with their ancestors and find peace within themselves.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Dr. Helena Soholmâs information:
- Helenaâs website has much more information about her practice and upcoming events: https://www.helenasoholm.com/
- Article about her Shamanic initiation: https://koreajoongangdaily.joins.com/news/article/article.aspx?aid=3049607
- Dr. Soholmâs Lecture and Korean Shamanic Ritual at Yale: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bIAip2e5u0&t=616s
- Find Helena on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/helenasoholm/ and on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/helenasoholm
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
Timestamps * 00:00:02 - Introduction to Helena Soholm: Beth introduces Helena Soholm, a Korean mudang or shaman, and discusses her unique background and qualifications. * 00:08:16 - Helena's Journey to Becoming a Shaman: Helena shares her personal journey and struggles with embracing her calling to become a mudang. * 00:15:50 - Helena's Connection with Adoptees: Helena discusses her awakening to the ancestors and how she helps adoptees connect with their lineage. * 00:26:28 - Healing and Connection for Adoptees: Helena explains the outcomes and benefits adoptees experience through her ceremonies and ancestral connections. * 00:34:51 - Seeking Reputable Ancestral Work: Helena provides guidance on finding reputable practitioners for ancestral work and emphasizes the importance of trusting one's intuition. * 00:36:45 - Empowering Self-Healing: Helena emphasizes the importance of empowering individuals to heal themselves and build their spiritual authority.
"I think everyone has had this experience of feeling like they're in two places or even more than that, but not quite enough of any." -- Anthony Lynch
Read the Transcript: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01HSYYTTTDQ2QVDVHZ079SXA3E
Episode Summary:
Beth Syverson, the host of the podcast "Unraveling Adoption," welcomes Anthony Lynch, a 24-year-old non-binary transracial adoptee living in London, as a guest on the show. Anthony is the co-founder of In Between Lines, an organization that empowers individuals with complex identities. Throughout the episode, Anthony shares insights into their personal journey as a transracial adoptee with Jamaican and white heritage, growing up in a multicultural family in London.
Anthony discusses the challenges of navigating multiple identities, including being adopted, non-binary, and mixed race. They highlight the importance of embracing one's full identity and the complexities that come with straddling different cultural backgrounds. Anthony also sheds light on the concept of intersectionality and how it influences individual experiences and societal perceptions.
The conversation delves into the significance of creating spaces for individuals with complex identities to share their stories and connect with others. Anthony shares about the work of In Between Lines, including an upcoming exhibition featuring individuals with diverse backgrounds and identities. They emphasize the need for a more nuanced understanding of identity and the importance of fostering inclusivity and acceptance.
Beth and Anthony also discuss the upcoming parliamentary inquiry on adoptee voices in the UK, where Anthony is a steering group member. They touch on the mental health implications of complex identities and the role of policymakers in supporting individuals with diverse backgrounds.
Throughout the episode, Beth and Anthony explore the power of authenticity, community, and understanding in embracing complex identities. They encourage listeners to reflect on their own identities and challenge societal norms that limit individuals to singular labels. The episode concludes with a call to share the conversation with others and continue the dialogue on identity and acceptance.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Anthonyâs Contact Information:
- Find Anthony on Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anthony-emanuel-lynch/
- In-Between Lines on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/inbetweenlinesorg/
- In-Between Lines website: https://inbetweenlines.co.uk/
Anthony Lynch is a researcher working in the intersection between Lived Experience and Policy. Their work with Complex Identities began when they co-founded In-Between Lines, an award-winning creative community for individuals belonging to multiple ethnicities, cultures, and families. As a research assistant at Coram, the UK's oldest Children's charity, they use their lived experience as a mixed non-binary adoptee to inform policy. They are also a steering group member for an upcoming parliamentary inquiry into adoptee voices, organized by the All Party Parliamentary Group on Adoption and Permanence.
===============
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Timestamps:
- 00:00:02 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption Podcast: Beth Syverson introduces the podcast and herself as an adoptive mom.
- 00:01:06 - Guest Introduction: Anthony Lynch: Anthony Lynch is introduced as a non-binary transracial adoptee and co-founder of In Between Lines.
- 00:02:12 - Anthony's Origin Story: Anthony shares their background as a fostered and adopted individual with a complex mix of ethnicities.
- 00:03:29 - Blending In with Siblings: Anthony discusses how they were able to blend in with their biracial siblings and hide their adoptive identity.
- 00:04:29 - Coming Out as Non-Binary: Anthony talks about their recent realization and acceptance of being non-binary.
- 00:05:27 - Embracing Complex Identities: Anthony emphasizes the importance of embracing all aspects of their complex identity.
- 00:06:49 - Intersectionality and Multiple Identities: Anthony delves into the concept of intersectionality and the challenges of navigating multiple identities.
- 00:08:49 - Authenticity and Self-Expression: Anthony discusses the importance of being authentic and not compromising their identity for others.
- 00:09:22 - Understanding Intersectionality: Anthony explains the concept of intersectionality and its impact on individuals with complex identities.
- 00:12:46 - Daily Impact of Multiple Identities: Anthony shares how their multiple identities affect their daily life and interactions with others.
- 00:14:17 - In Between Lines Organization: Anthony talks about the In Between Lines organization and its mission to empower individuals with complex identities.
- 00:15:45 - Supporting In Between Lines: Anthony discusses ways to support the organization and participate in their upcoming projects.
- 00:20:44 - Parliamentary Inquiry on Adoptee Voices: Anthony shares their involvement in a parliamentary inquiry on adoptee voices and complex identities.
- 00:22:07 - Supporting In Between Lines: Anthony invites listeners to connect with In Between Lines on social media and support their upcoming exhibition.
- 00:25:19 - Appreciation for Unraveling Adoption Podcast: Anthony expresses gratitude for being a guest on the podcast and highlights the importance of in-depth conversations.
"I think that being an adoptee groomed me to relinquish my own child." -- Monica Hall
Transcript of this episode: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01HSM5N1067HY39ZRSGK11MB5T
Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson welcomes guest Monica Hall, an adoptee and birth mother who has recently published her memoir titled Practically Still a Virgin: an Adoption Memoir. Monica shares her journey of healing and self-discovery through writing her memoir, which delves into the complexities of adoption, trauma, and family relationships.
Monica opens up about her challenging childhood in Alaska, where she faced abuse and trauma within her adoptive family. She candidly discusses her experiences of relinquishing her daughter for adoption and the guilt and complexities that came with it. Through writing her memoir, Monica unravels layers of repressed memories and emotions, ultimately finding healing and clarity.
The podcast episode highlights Monica's writing process, where she initially struggled with self-doubt and perfectionism but found guidance and support from a dedicated editor. Monica emphasizes the importance of allowing oneself to start writing without judgment and to embrace the process of uncovering deep-seated emotions and experiences.
As Monica shares her personal journey of healing and self-discovery through writing, she encourages other adoptees and birth mothers to embark on their own memoir-writing journey. The episode concludes with a special giveaway of Monica's memoir, inviting listeners to participate by writing a review of the podcast or becoming a Patreon member.
Listeners are encouraged to explore Monica's powerful memoir, Practically Still a Virgin, and to support her in sharing her story of resilience and growth. The episode serves as a poignant reminder of the transformative power of storytelling and the importance of finding healing through self-expression and reflection.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Monica's Website: MonicaHall.com
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
Timestamps: 00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption Podcast 00:05:30 - Overcoming Childhood Trauma and Identity Issues 00:09:25 - Starting the Memoir Writing Journey 00:16:08 - Writing Process and Reflections 00:20:46 - Uncovering Layers of Trauma and Family Relationships 00:24:18 - Recovery and Healing Journey 00:26:23 - Advice for Aspiring Memoir Writers 00:27:41 - Book Giveaway Announcement and Support for Unraveling Adoption Podcast
"I think adoptees who are going to go try to find their family have to recognize that... once you get into the process, you just have to roll with it, right? You have to be optimistic and hopeful and just play it out." -- David R. Ford
Episode Synopsis In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson delves into the complexities of adoption alongside her guest, David R. Ford, an adoptee who reunited with his birth family 20 years ago. The episode explores the theme of family relationships, especially in the context of reunion with birth families.
Beth introduces David as an adoptee who was adopted at birth through a private adoption handled by a lawyer. David shares his early childhood experiences and the limited information he had about his birth parents, including the revelation that he had a seven-year older brother. Despite not initially feeling the need to find his birth parents, David's journey to reconnect with his birth family began in his late 30s.
Through a series of events, David eventually reunites with his birth mother and discovers he is one of seven children, four of whom were given up for adoption. The podcast delves into the complexities of navigating newfound relationships with siblings and birth family members, highlighting the challenges and joys that come with such reunions.
Beth also brings on Tibby, David's wife, to provide insights into the experience of being a spouse navigating the complexities of adoption reunion. Tibby shares her perspective on the intense emotions and dynamics that come with welcoming new family members into their lives.
The episode touches on the importance of supportive adoptive parents, the emotional toll of navigating difficult family dynamics, and the significance of maintaining core values and boundaries throughout the reunion process. David reflects on the metaphorical significance of the title of his memoir, "Blind in One Eye," and the journey of self-discovery and acceptance that comes with reuniting with one's birth family.
As the episode wraps up, Beth encourages listeners to explore the resources and support available on the Unraveling Adoption website, emphasizing the importance of seeking guidance and validation in the adoption journey. The episode concludes with a message of staying safe and embracing authenticity in navigating the complexities of adoption and family relationships.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Resource Mentioned in this Episode:
- Contact David and find out more about his memoir Blind In One Eye at: https://blindinoneeye.com
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
Timestamps * Introduction to Unraveling Adoption: 00:00:02-00:00:13 * David's Adoption Story: 00:01:23-00:02:57 * David's Search for Birth Family: 00:03:29-00:06:41 * Reunion with Birth Mother: 00:07:15-00:09:33 * Relationship with Siblings: 00:10:04-00:12:40 * Tibby's Perspective on Family Reunion: 00:15:18-00:17:02 * Navigating Family Dynamics: 00:17:28-00:21:39 * Book Title Explanation: 00:25:26-00:26:29 * Closing Remarks and Resources: 00:27:19-00:28:46
"I was always trying to fit in and chameleon wherever I was." -- Bethany Fraser
Transcript Read this episode's transcript: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01HR5W5M78X0PE4FV5GJNREW2AIn this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson welcomes guest Bethany Fraser, an adoptee and host of The Adoptee Diaries podcast. The conversation delves into the complexities of adoption, focusing on the impact of secrets and identity issues within the adoption experience.
Bethany shares her personal journey of discovering her biracial identity in her 40s, after a secret about her ethnicity was kept from her by her adoptive parents. The discussion explores the emotional and psychological effects of this deception on Bethany's identity, psyche, and relationships.
Throughout the episode, Bethany reflects on her experience as an adoptee, highlighting the importance of truth, trust, and transparency in adoption. She emphasizes the need for adoptive parents to be open and honest with their children about their origins and ethnicity, to foster a sense of belonging and self-awareness.
The conversation is candid and heartfelt, with both hosts sharing their vulnerabilities and insights into the complexities of adoption. Beth and Bethany aim to create a space for adoptees to share their stories and find support within the adoption community.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Resources mentioned in this episode: * Find Bethany's podcast The Adoptee Diaries on your favorite podcast app or through this link: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adoptee-diaries-truth-trust-and-transparency/id1687716450 * Find Bethany on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/theadopteediaries/ * Read an essay Bethany wrote for Barker Adoption Foundation: https://www.barkeradoptionfoundation.org/adoption-resources/barker-blog/adoptee%E2%80%99s-experience-family-fortitude-forgiveness-story-searching
Other Resources * APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude * Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com * Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTubeSupport Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoptionCheck out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.comCreate your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
TIME STAMPS:
00:00:02 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption 00:01:33 - Early Awareness of Adoption and Ethnicity 00:03:33 - Early Interactions with Other Adoptees 00:05:12 - Questioning Ethnic Identity 00:07:05 - Reflecting on Parents' Motivations 00:09:47 - Prompt to Discover Ethnicity 00:11:22 - Ancestry DNA Results Revealed 00:12:44 - Unpacking Cultural Layers 00:14:07 - Curiosity and Self-Identity 00:15:03 - Impact Before Discovering Truth 00:16:08 - Masking True Self 00:17:44 - Feeling Displaced 00:18:27 - Seeking Community and Support 00:20:30 - Advice for Adoptive Parents 00:22:37 - Discovery of Parents' Knowledge 00:24:04 - Emotional Impact of Revelation 00:25:37 - Launch of The Adoptee Diaries 00:27:31 - Encouragement for Adoptive Parents 00:29:08 - Call to Share and Support Unraveling Adoption
"I had to be OK with the fact that they might not accept me for who I am." - Joe Toolan
Transcript Read this episode's transcript: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01HQC31S90118VY2NM91EADH9Q
Episode Summary
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson delves into the complexities of adoption through the lens of LGBTQ+ adoptees. Joined by guest Joe Toolan, a transracial, queer adoptee from Guatemala, the episode explores the unique challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals in the adoption process.
Joe shares his personal journey of growing up in a conservative white family in Maryland, navigating his identity as a queer, Latine, indigenous, transracial adoptee. He reflects on the struggles of coming out to his adoptive family and the impact it had on their relationship.
The episode highlights the importance of support and acceptance for LGBTQ+ adoptees, emphasizing the need for adoptive parents to create a safe and affirming environment for their children. Resources such as PFLAG, the Trevor Project, and GLSEN are recommended for allies and family members seeking to educate themselves and support LGBTQ+ individuals.
As Joe recounts his reunion with his birth family in Guatemala, the episode showcases the power of authenticity and self-acceptance in building meaningful connections. Despite initial concerns about acceptance, Joe's birth mother's unconditional love and support demonstrate the transformative impact of embracing one's true identity.
Listeners are encouraged to engage with the LGBTQ+ adoptee community, seek support from advocacy organizations, and participate in upcoming events like the town hall meeting addressing the safety and well-being of adopted children.
Through heartfelt storytelling and insightful conversations, Unraveling Adoption provides a compassionate and informative platform for exploring the intersection of adoption and LGBTQ+ identities, fostering understanding and empathy for all individuals touched by adoption.
Resources mentioned in this episode * Contact Joe through Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/toolan_joe/ * Find help for LGBTQ+ people and their allies here: + PFLAG: https://pflag.org/ + The Trevor Project: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/ + GLSEN: https://www.glsen.org/
- Guatemalan adoptees can find support through the organization Joe works with, Adoptees of Guatemalan Roots: https://www.guateroots.org/
- Attend the Town Hall meeting on Sunday, March 10, 2024, to discuss adoptee murders and what we can do to keep our community's adopted children safe. adopteemurders.eventbrite.com
Other Resources * APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude * Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com * Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.comFind us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTubeSupport Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoptionCheck out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.comCreate your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Timestamps: 00:00:02 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption 00:01:15 - Embracing LGBTQ+ Voices 00:01:37 - Early Childhood and Adoption Story 00:02:14 - Growing Up in a Conservative Community 00:03:35 - Coming Out as LGBTQ+ 00:04:39 - Navigating Relationships After Coming Out 00:05:03 - Challenges of Coming Out Again in Reunion 00:05:42 - Support Systems and Role Models 00:06:57 - Finding Community in College 00:07:53 - Coming Out to Friends 00:08:14 - Struggles with Family Acceptance 00:09:00 - Navigating Authenticity and Acceptance 00:10:10 - Parental Acceptance and Support 00:11:18 - Curiosity About Birth Family 00:12:29 - Beginning the Search for Biological Family 00:13:55 - Receiving Information from Adoptee Groups 00:14:58 - Reunion Process Initiation 00:15:48 - Emotional Response to Reunion News 00:16:00 - Initial Contact with Birth Family 00:17:00 - Concerns About Reunion and Acceptance 00:18:27 - Authenticity in Reunion Process 00:19:00 - Emotional Reunion Moment 00:20:36 - Acceptance and Unconditional Love 00:21:23 - Connecting with LGBTQ+ Adoptee Communities 00:22:18 - Resources for LGBTQ+ Support 00:23:05 - Advice for Adoptive Parents 00:24:46 - Connecting with the Guest 00:25:26 - Invitation to Town Hall Meeting
"The root of the work, I would say, is really slowing down and learning how to sit with the discomfort of different sensations in the body." -- Rebecca Berg
Transcript Read this episode's transcript: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01HQC31S90118VY2NM91EADH9Q
Synopsis In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Rebecca Berg, a registered dietitian and adoptee who specializes in the intersection of adoption and food behaviors. Rebecca shared her personal journey of overcoming orthorexia and how early childhood trauma can manifest in issues around food. We delved into the complexities of adoption trauma and its impact on food relationships, highlighting the importance of understanding the connection between food and emotional well-being.
Rebecca emphasized the need for adoptees to feel connected to their bodies and prioritize self-care, especially when dealing with stress and anxiety. She discussed the concept of "safe foods" for children with trauma histories and the importance of creating a structured and consistent meal environment to promote a sense of safety and security.
As an adoptive parent, Rebecca provided valuable insights on supporting adopted children with food issues, emphasizing the significance of co-regulation and offering familiar, comforting foods to build trust and stability. She also introduced the concept of "body doubling" as a supportive technique for individuals struggling with nutrition and mental health challenges.
Throughout the episode, Rebecca highlighted the importance of seeking professional help from registered dietitians with expertise in mental health and eating disorders. She shared practical advice for adoptive parents and individuals struggling with food-related issues, emphasizing the need for patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to explore and experiment with different approaches to nutrition and well-being.
The episode concluded with a reminder to join the upcoming town hall meeting on March 10th to address the serious issue of murders of adopted children by adoptive parents and brainstorm ways to create safer environments for adopted children in our communities.
Overall, the episode provides valuable insights into the complex relationship between adoption, trauma, and food behaviors, offering practical strategies for individuals and families navigating these challenges.
Timestamps * Introduction to Unraveling Adoption: 00:00:02-00:00:13 * Exploring the Intersection of Adoption and Food Behaviors: 00:00:46-00:00:56 * Personal Journey of an Adoptee and Registered Dietitian: 00:04:12-00:05:57 * Understanding Orthorexia and Recovery: 00:05:05-00:06:07 * Impact of Anxiety and Trauma on Eating Behaviors: 00:08:17-00:09:48 * Becoming a Registered Dietitian: 00:10:06-00:11:29 * Challenges and Nuances of Food Issues: 00:12:27-00:13:22 * Strategies for Grounding and Regulation: 00:14:40-00:15:56 * Body Doubling and Supportive Techniques: 00:15:56-00:16:44 * Advice for Adoptive Parents on Food Issues: 00:17:02-00:19:00 * Importance of Safe Foods and Feeding Practices: 00:19:10-00:20:17 * Seeking Help and Professional Support: 00:20:38-00:22:51 * Upcoming Event and Call to Action: 00:23:01-00:24:07
Resources mentioned in this episode * Contact Rebecca at https://www.nostringsnutrition.com/. * Find Rebecca on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/no.strings.nutrition/ * Follow Rebecca on Facebook @No Strings Nutrition: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61554833143968 * Attend the Town Hall meeting on Sunday, March 10, 2024, to discuss adoptee murders and what we can do to keep our community's adopted children safe. adopteemurders.eventbrite.com
Other Resources * APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude * Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com * Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
My adoptive father talked about it as my birthright to go back to Central America. I really like that framing. So I think that was part of the reason why they let me go on so many trips and that was such a wonderful experience. - Nelson de Witt
Discover the shocking truth about Nelson de Witt's journey to uncover his past after being adopted from Central America. His story is a heart-wrenching tale of forced disappearances, political strife, and the courage to face the truth. Nelson's experiences will leave you in awe and disbelief as he navigates the complexities of adoption and the impact of historical and cultural tragedies. Stay tuned to learn more about Nelson's daring quest for truth and how it continues to shape his life today.
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Understand the impact of forced disappearances on families in Central and South America.
- Explore the complexities of political conflicts in Central America and how it impacted him as an adopted person.
- Dive into the importance of understanding historical and cultural contexts of adoptees' early lives.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
My special guest is Nelson de Witt
Nelson de Witt, also known as Nelson/Roberto, is an advocate and survivor of El Salvador's civil war. He experienced a forced disappearance as a one-year-old and was reunited with his birth family at the age of 16. Nelson's personal story sheds light on the impact of forced disappearances on families. Through his experiences, he brings a unique perspective that helps to unravel the complexities of adoption and the historical and cultural context of the forced disappearances in Central and South America. His insights and advocacy work contribute to a greater understanding of the profound effects of such events on those involved - adopted or not.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Visit Nelson/Roberto's website at Nelsonroberto.com to learn more about his documentary film Identifying Nelson/Buscando Roberto and his book Waking from Innocent Dreams.
- Check out the book Missing Mila, Finding Family written by Nelson's adoptive mother, which provides her perspective on the adoption story: https://amzn.to/4bDAABo
- Keep an eye out for Nelson's upcoming story workshops for adoptees, which he may be launching publicly later in the year.
- Follow Nelson on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/dewittn19/
Impact of Forced Disappearances Influenced by social, political, and personal factors, forced disappearances have far-reaching impacts on families and societies. The individuals left behind wrestle with prolonged uncertainty, emotional distress, and other psychological ramifications. Being aware of the deep emotional trauma fostered by forced disappearances aids us in comprehending the resilience shown by survivors and provides better support and understanding to those affected.
Political Conflicts in Central America Historical instances of political unrest in Central America have resulted in numerous human rights violations, including forced disappearances. These conflicts are multifaceted, characterized by fluid alliances, entrenched inequality, and differing ideological perspectives. By understanding these complexities, we gain a deeper insight into the atmosphere that gives rise to phenomena such as forced disappearances and how these events impact individuals and communities.
===============
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction and Background Beth introduces the podcast and herself as an adoptive mom, along with her guest Nelson de Witt. Nelson shares his experience of being separated from his birth family during El Salvador's civil war and being reunited with them at the age of 16. 00:01:09 - Growing Up and Discovery Nelson talks about growing up in his adoptive family, being told he was adopted, and the mystery surrounding his adoption. He shares the shocking news of being reunited with his biological family and the intense emotions and overwhelming experience of meeting them for the first time. 00:04:18 - Adoption and Reunion Nelson's adoptive parents share the harrowing discovery of Nelson's origins, including his parents being revolutionaries in the civil war, the kidnapping of a businessman, and the tragic events that led to Nelson being put up for adoption in the United States. 00:10:30 - Complexities of Central American History Nelson delves into the complex history of conflict in Central America, highlighting the repressive government, violent suppression of activists, and the desperate measures people took to fight back, including taking up arms as a last resort. 00:13:26 - The Disappeared and Forced Disappearances Nelson explains the term "disappeared" and its origin, detailing how individuals were forcibly abducted by the state as a tactic of fear or intimidation during the civil war in El Salvador. He also shares personal accounts of friends who were taken at gunpoint. 00:14:40 - Forced Disappearance in Central and South America Nelson discusses the backdrop of the term "disappeared" (Desaparacido) and the cultural significance rooted in families missing loved ones. Over 100,000 people have been forcibly disappeared since 1950, with the majority presumed dead. 00:16:08 - The Unresolved Mystery Nelson shares his experience of being reunited with his birth father at 16, who knew about his survival and adoption but had no idea about what happened to his wife and child. The unresolved fate of his birth mother is a lingering question. 00:18:27 - Reconnecting with Birth Family Nelson reflects on his incredible journey of reuniting with his birth family and the challenges and excitement of embracing a new culture. He acknowledges the support and difficulty faced by his adoptive parents throughout the process. 00:21:26 - The Nature of Adoption Nelson emphasizes the importance of acknowledging an adoptee's history and roots, beyond the nurture received from adoptive parents. He shares the positive impact of being allowed to explore his birthright in Central America. 00:25:19 - Continuing Issue of Forced Disappearances The conversation ends on a poignant note as Nelson highlights the ongoing issue of forced disappearances in Central and South America to this day. He calls for awareness and support to make necessary changes.
Love is an action. It's not always pink and it's not always red. Sometimes it gets black, sometimes it gets blue. But love is an action. - Alicia Murray
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Explore the challenges of foster care and adoption journeys.
- Discover the profound importance of sibling connections in adoption.
- Embrace the value of openness in adoption and birth family connections.
- Find out how to provide essential post-adoption services and support.
- Uncover the challenges and realities of adopting older children.
My special guest is Alicia Murray
Our guest, Alicia Murray, brings a wealth of firsthand experience in the adoption landscape. Having been adopted at the age of ten after navigating through seven different foster placements, Alicia's journey offers a unique perspective on the challenges of adoption, particularly when it comes to older children. With a background in psychology and a current role as a family support specialist, Alicia's insights are rooted in both personal experience and professional expertise. Her work in helping foster youth find permanency further solidifies her credibility as an advocate in the adoption community. Plus she's now an adoptive mom of two sibling toddlers herself. Alicia joins us to shed light on the realities and complexities of adopting older children, offering valuable knowledge and empathy to our discussion.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Email Alicia at Alicia@affcny.org for any questions or inquiries about their programs and services.
- Visit AFFCNY.org to explore an array of resources, events, programs, and support groups for adoptive families, teens, and everyone involved in the adoption process.
- Find AFFCNY on Instagram as @AFFCNY, https://www.instagram.com/affcny/ ; and on Facebook as @Adoptive and Foster Family Coalition of New York, https://www.facebook.com/affcny
- Explore the resources and support provided by Wendy's Wonderful Kids, a nonprofit organization collaborating with AFFCNY to help older adopted youth find permanent placement: https://www.davethomasfoundation.org/our-programs/wendys-wonderful-kids/
- Beth's wonderful life coach, Heather Ross, has a podcast plus individual and group coaching: HeatherRossCoaching.com
===============
Embrace openness in adoption A conversation with Alicia Murray unveils the transformative power of openness in adoption. She conveys a strong need for adoptive families to support a childâs connection with their biological roots, affirming itâs crucial for maintaining their sense of identity and well-being. With Aliciaâs encouraging perspective, it becomes evident that embracing openness in adoption does not necessarily divide love but multiplies it, fostering a nurturing environment for the child's overall development.
===============
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction and Background Beth Syverson introduces herself as an adoptive mom and certified coach. Guest, Alicia Murray, shares her experience of being adopted at age ten after multiple foster placements. 00:00:51 - Alicia's Foster Experience Alicia describes her tumultuous experience of being in multiple foster placements and finally being adopted at age ten. She also shares the challenges of being separated from her brother and the difficulties in finding a permanent home. 00:04:17 - Reconnecting with Biological Family Alicia recounts the complicated story of reconnecting with her biological family at the age of 13, including finding her grandmother's phone number in the yellow pages and the emotional reunion with her mother. 00:11:20 - Finding Purpose and Healing Alicia shares her journey of healing and finding purpose through therapy, introspection, and pursuing a career in foster care and adoption. She reflects on how her own experiences have shaped her approach as a foster and adoptive parent. 00:13:37 - Fostering and Adoption Journey Alicia discusses her initial intention to become a foster parent, her unexpected journey of adopting two siblings, and the challenges and joys of raising them as part of her own family. 00:14:07 - Importance of Open Adoption Alicia discusses the benefits of openness in adoption for children, emphasizing the importance of knowing their lineage and feeling like a whole human as adults. 00:15:53 - Challenges of Closed Adoption Alicia highlights the negative impact of closed adoptions, where adoptive parents cut off communication with the child once they become adults, leading to resentment and lack of trust. 00:17:33 - Building Relationships with Birth Parents Alicia shares her experiences of maintaining a relationship with the birth mother and the challenges of navigating visits, emphasizing the importance of communication and respect in the co-parenting dynamic. 00:21:29 - Post-Adoption Support Services Alicia explains her role as a family support specialist, providing post-adoptive families with a range of services and support, including therapy, groups, and resources, to help them navigate the complexities of adoption. 00:25:25 - Empathy and Triggering Alicia discusses her personal experiences as an adoptee and foster child, and how it influences her empathy and approach to supporting adoptive families dealing with challenging situations. 00:27:51 - Challenges of Adoptive Parenting Alicia discusses the challenges adoptive parents face, including the reality of dealing with issues such as sexual acting out, addiction, and trauma-related behaviors in older adopted children. She emphasizes the importance of being prepared and having realistic expectations. 00:29:29 - Impact of Relinquishment Trauma Alicia highlights the lasting impact of relinquishment trauma on adopted children, regardless of when it occurred. She emphasizes the need for love and support, acknowledging that the journey may have ups and downs, but connection is crucial for healing. 00:30:19 - The Journey of Older Adopted Children Beth shares her personal experience of navigating through challenging years with her adopted child and the transformation she witnessed as he's grown into adulthood. She stresses the importance of support and understanding for older adopted children, as well as the ongoing learning process for parents. 00:32:35 - Support for Adoptive Families Alicia discusses the resources and support provided by her organization, AFFCNY, for adoptive parents, foster parents, and teens. She encourages listeners to explore the services available and consider contributing to the nonprofit organizations, AFFCNY, and Wendy's Wonderful Kids, to help support their initiatives. 00:33:46 - Importance of Inclusion and Support Beth and Alicia express the importance of including the voices of older adopted children in conversations about adoption and advocating for their needs. They emphasize the significance of understanding the complexities of adoption and supporting organizations that work towards enhancing the lives of adoptees and foster youth.
"I started meditating a lot, and eventually doing retreats, eventually going to monasteries, spending some time in a Zen Buddhist meditation center. So, yeah, I think that's kind of where I took my pain, my anguish, my existential questions, and I think there's some ambiguity there. I think there's also a kind of escapism, because I didn't know how to connect with the world or address questions that other people my age were addressing. Like livelihood, relationships, family. I just sat on a cushion." - Julian Washio Collette
Can you imagine the weight of not belonging and carrying the trauma of multiple abandonments? The struggle to find a sense of identity and stability after being adopted and then relinquished and adopted again is incredibly challenging. The lack of control over your own story and the feeling of being failed by the system can leave deep emotional scars. Julian's life story will help you understand the impacts of relinquishment, and will make you aware of the importance of finding support and community to help navigate the complexities of adoption.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Understand the unique challenges of being a double adoptee and how it shapes one's identity.
- Explore the profound impact of abandonment and abuse on adoptees and their journey to healing.
- Gain insight into the complexities of adoption and the importance of understanding its nuances.
- Discover the need for better support systems for adoptees and how it can positively impact their lives.
- Learn about the lifelong impact of multiple abandonments and how it shapes the adoptee's perspective and experiences.
My special guest is Julian Washio-Collette
Julian Washio-Collette, a former Catholic monk currently residing in Portland, Oregon, is our guest for this episode. As a double adoptee, Julian's personal journey of being adopted as an infant and then again at the age of nine provides a unique perspective on the complexities of adoption. With a passion for writing about spirituality, adoption, and healing, Julian's insights and experiences contribute to a deeper understanding of the challenges faced by individuals impacted by adoption or abandonment. His story sheds light on the resilience and strength needed to navigate such intricate circumstances, making him a valuable voice in the conversation around adoption.
===============
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Visit Julian's blog site called Peregrine Adoptee to read his insightful writings about spirituality, adoption, and healing: peregrineadoptee.wordpress.com
- Explore the Unraveling Adoption website to find information about upcoming events, webinars, and workshops related to adoption and healing, including Mee Ok Icaro's upcoming webinar about Sacred Plant Medicine 101 for the Adoption Constellation: unravelingadoption.com/events
===============
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unique Challenges of Double Adoptees The unique challenges faced by double adoptees like Julian Washio-Collette are centered around the absence of family continuity and frequent displacement. The uncertainty, disconnection, and confusion induced by double adoptions can leave deep psychological scars. Their unprecedented experiences urge us to shed light on the hidden complexities of double adoption and foster understanding about their distinct needs and perspectives.
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction and Background Beth introduces herself as an adoptive mom and certified coach. Julian's background as a double adoptee is highlighted, setting the stage for a complex and impactful story. 00:01:21 - Julian's Early Life Julian shares details about his first adoption and the secrecy surrounding his birth and early years. The lack of information about his early life creates a sense of fuzziness and identity dissonance. 00:05:16 - Second Adoption and Family Dynamics Julian recounts the circumstances of his second adoption at the age of nine and the abusive environment in his second adoptive family. The lack of support and bond with his adoptive parents led to a feeling of survival mode for both him and his sister. 00:09:29 - Support Systems and Coping Mechanisms Beth and Julian discuss the absence of support for him from social workers, teachers, and extended family members. Julian's coping mechanisms, including withdrawal, guilt, and finding solace in punk music and skateboarding, are highlighted. 00:11:55 - Surviving and Coping Julian reflects on how he navigated through his challenging childhood, highlighting the lack of genuine bond with his adoptive parents and the role of music and skateboarding as outlets for emotional expression and physical activity. 00:13:32 - Early Years and Spiritual Exploration Julian shares his journey from skateboarding and punk rock shows to discovering healing and spirituality. He discusses his involvement in 12-step programs and Zen Buddhist meditation before becoming a Catholic monk. 00:15:28 - Escaping Into Spirituality Julian reflects on using meditation and retreats as a way to escape from addressing societal and personal questions. He discusses his codependent relationships and the concept of "abandaholic." 00:17:13 - Transition to Catholicism and Monastic Life Julian describes his intuitive decision to join a Catholic monastery and the impactful spiritual experience he had there. He explains his connection to the writings of Julian of Norwich and the significance of choosing the name Julian. 00:19:24 - Cultural Inheritance and Homecoming Julian shares his experience of feeling a sense of homecoming to his native religion and cultural heritage at the monastery. He discusses the power of symbolism, rituals, and the impact of his Italian background on his spiritual journey. 00:23:19 - The Impact of Closed Adoptions Julian discusses the lack of care and concern within the adoption system, highlighting the failures of the closed adoption process. He emphasizes the need for change and the impact on both adoptees and birth mothers.
âI think for adoptees, my biggest advice for them is to ask if you need something. Whether it be therapy, whether it's understanding your story, whether it's being able to know your identity, ask. And if they don't want to tell you, keep asking.â -- Sariah Baker
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Understand the profound influence of adoption trauma on self-identity and self-worth.
- Discover the unique struggles and triumphs faced by intercountry adoptees in the LGBTQ+ community.
- Recognize the pivotal role adoptive parents play in supporting the unique needs and experiences of intercountry adoptees.
- Learn about effective therapeutic approaches that empower intercountry adoptees to navigate their complex identities and experiences.
- Observe a journey of self-discovery and personal growth as an intercountry adoptee sheds limiting labels and societal expectations.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
My special guest is Sariah Baker
Sariah Baker, a 31-year-old human resources manager living in Portland, Oregon, brings a unique perspective to the complexities of intercountry and interracial adoption. As an intercountry adoptee from China, raised in a white Mormon family, Sariah's story delves into the intricate layers of identity she has navigated throughout her life. Her experiences offer valuable insights into the challenges and triumphs of finding and embracing one's true identity.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Subscribe to Sariah's YouTube channel The Adoptee Apostate for insightful content and poetry readings related to adoption, identity, and personal growth: https://www.youtube.com/@TheAdopteeApostate
- Follow Sariah on TikTok at The Adoptee Apostate for engaging and thought-provoking videos on adoption, mental health, and self-discovery: https://www.tiktok.com/@theadopteeapostate
- Connect with Sariah on Instagram at The Adoptee Apostate for updates on her journey, poetry, and discussions on adoption and identity: https://www.instagram.com/theadopteeapostate/
- Hereâs the book Sariah mentioned about her Chinese orphanage, Death by Default: A Policy of Fatal Neglect in China's State Orphanages: https://amzn.to/3HAsiMI
- Adoption Mosaic is a wonderful organization, headed by Astrid Castro, to support adoptees: https://adoptionmosaic.com/
Other resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Uncovering the Impact of Adoption Trauma Adoption trauma can have long-lasting effects on an adoptee. It can shake one's self-perception and fuel internal struggles, particularly in relation to identity. Helping adoptees navigate and heal from such trauma requires understanding, patience, and therapeutic intervention.
Embracing the Vital Role of Adoptive Parents Adoptive parents play a crucial role in mitigating the impacts of adoption trauma and providing an accepting space for their children. They hold the responsibility of fostering open communication, providing emotional support, and celebrating the unique backgrounds of their adoptees. Proper understanding and support from adoptive parents can significantly aid in an adoptee's journey towards self-acceptance and self-discovery.
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction and Background Beth introduces the podcast and the guest, Sariah Baker, an intercountry adoptee from China raised in a white Mormon family. Sariah briefly shares her background and the circumstances of her adoption. 00:02:47 - Challenges of Adoption Sariah discusses the complexities of her adoption, including the traumatic experiences in the orphanage and the challenges of being raised in a white Mormon family as a Chinese adoptee. 00:06:53 - Struggles with Identity and Trauma Sariah shares her struggles with trauma, perfectionism, and navigating her sexuality within the context of her Mormon upbringing, leading to emotional pain and self-medication with large quantities of Ibuprofen. 00:10:15 - Seeking Help and Recovery Sariah recounts seeking help for her mental health struggles and the impact of institutional treatment on breaking free from perfectionism and allowing herself to feel emotions. 00:11:28 - The Dangers of Self-Medication Sariah and Beth discuss the dangers of self-medication with Ibuprofen, highlighting the need for parents to secure over-the-counter medications and the underlying psychological need for control in such situations. 00:12:04 - Overcoming Struggles with Therapy Sariah shares her experience with therapy, including DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) and talk therapy, to overcome feelings of perfectionism and unmask her true self. 00:13:24 - Faith Crisis and Identity Struggle Sariah discusses her struggle with her faith and identity crisis, including grappling with her sexuality and the impact of her environment on her mental health. 00:14:37 - Battle with Bipolar Disorder Sariah opens up about her battle with bipolar disorder, including her suicide attempt and the importance of seeking help. 00:19:39 - Search for Birth Family Sariah talks about her ongoing journey to find her birth family, including her experience with DNA testing and the challenges she faces in this quest for self-discovery. 00:22:53 - Family Support and Validation Sariah reflects on the lack of support and validation from her adoptive family in her search for her birth family, emphasizing the importance of understanding and support in an adoptee's journey of self-discovery. 00:23:57 - Responsibilities of Adoptive Parents Sariah and Beth discuss the important responsibilities of adoptive parents, emphasizing the need for a holistic approach to supporting the emotional and healing needs of adopted children, as well as being prepared for potential reunions and therapy. 00:25:08 - Challenges of Intercountry Adoption Sariah and the host discuss the unexpected challenges and expenses of intercountry adoption, including the need for multiple trips to the child's country of origin, potential reunions, and therapy. They highlight the importance of adoptive parents being prepared for these aspects. 00:28:25 - Cultural Awareness and Identity Sariah shares her experience of growing up in a predominantly white and Mormon culture, where her Chinese identity and culture were not fully integrated. She discusses the impact of not being encouraged to explore her cultural heritage and the implications for adoptees. 00:31:56 - Family Dynamics and Healing Sariah reflects on her complex relationship with her adoptive family, expressing a desire for a more nurturing and supportive dynamic. She discusses the challenges of navigating her trauma and seeking acknowledgment and understanding from her family. 00:34:04 - Challenges of Identity and Acceptance Sariah delves into the challenges of navigating her identity as a former Mormon, her sexuality, and the pressure to conform to societal expectations. She shares her struggle with feeling judged by her family and the difficulty of making personal choices. 00:35:42 - Impact of self-talk and internal struggles Sariah discusses the unhealthy impact of self-talk and the internal struggles she faces as an adoptee, including feelings of being a bad person and the trauma of abandonment. 00:36:33 - Adoptive parents' reinforcement and expectations Sariah shares how adoptive parents' reinforcement and expectations can contribute to an adoptee's struggle with identity and acceptance, highlighting the challenges of being gay in a conservative environment. 00:37:28 - Prioritizing self-needs and coping mechanisms Sariah talks about prioritizing her own needs and shares coping mechanisms, including the use of poetry as a way to express emotions and the concept of the "backpack of truths" to acknowledge and accept oneself. 00:40:34 - Breaking free from societal labels Sariah reflects on breaking free from societal labels and embracing her authentic self, emphasizing the importance of personal growth and self-acceptance as an adoptee with multiple identities. Sariah shares a hopeful poem she wrote called âWalls Versus Gates.â 00:44:28 - Advice for adoptees and self-discovery Sariah offers advice for adoptees to seek understanding of their identity and emphasizes the importance of self-discovery and self-acceptance, encouraging others to explore their truths and seek support in their journey.
"Change can happen incrementally, and oftentimes it's better that it does. We've heard the cliche 'trust the process.' Oftentimes the process is the most important thing." - David Bohl
Join relinquishee/adoptee recovery coach David Bohl as he confronts the paradox of finding trust and healing in the intersection of adoption and addiction. He guides individuals towards healthy coping mechanisms and support in the face of deep-rooted trauma.
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Understand the possible impacts of adoption trauma on mental health and addiction.
- Embrace TRUST as a key component in the journey to recovery.
- Explore the unique challenges of addiction for adopted people.
- Find safe and supportive communities for healing and growth.
My special guest is David Bohl
Meet David B. Bohl, an expert in addiction and adoption, whose personal journey through addiction recovery and exploration of the complex intersection between adoption and addiction brings a unique blend of empathy and expertise to our conversation. With a background that includes serving on the boards of prominent addiction and adoption organizations and receiving credentials from esteemed organizations like the Hazelton Betty Ford Graduate School of Addiction Studies, David's insights are informed, compassionate, and relatable. His memoir, Parallel Universes, and nonfiction book, Relinquishment and Addiction: What Trauma Has to Do with It, not only solidify his expertise but also highlight his commitment to providing support for individuals affected by adoption and addiction. David's balanced approach to destigmatizing addiction and promoting recovery reflects his genuine passion for helping others navigate their healing journey.
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- To find David Bohl's recovery coaching services, visit his website at beaconconfidential.com or Google his name with the middle initial B to find his many resources online.
- Buy Davidâs memoir Parallel Universes: The Story of Rebirth: https://www.amazon.com/Parallel-Universes-David-B-Bohl-ebook/dp/B079KSVJGB
- Check out the book David wrote with Jamie Marich, Relinquishment and Addiction: What Trauma Has to Do With It: https://www.amazon.com/Relinquishment-Addiction-What-Trauma-Has-ebook/dp/B09NZ37CX6
- Hereâs Jamie Marichâs book Trauma and the 12 Steps: https://www.amazon.com/Trauma-12-Steps-Meditations-Reflections-ebook/dp/B08KC38MJZ
- Paul Sunderland's excellent video "Addiction & Adoption: Remembered Not Recalled" can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3e0-SsmOUJI
- Celia Center has a facilitated adoption constellation addiction group, led by David, that meets every other Tuesday. Find more information here: https://celiacenter.org/
- To sign up for the Untangling Our Roots Summit in Denver in April 2024, visit the event's website for registration details. UntanglingOurRoots.com
- For adoptive parents interested in coaching groups, visit unravelingadoption.com/coaching or email Beth at Beth@unravelingadoption.com for more information on upcoming coaching groups or individual coaching sessions.
- If you're an adoptee, birth parent, adoptive parent, or ally looking for support groups or events, visit unravelingadoption.com/Calendar. I maintain a Community Calendar listing there with dozens of support groups for the adoption constellation.
===============
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Embracing trust in recovery -
David emphasizes the crucial role of trust in recovery. From his own experiences, he realized that as an adoptee he had struggled to trust himself, others, and Higher Powers. His recovery journey was initiated by a process of rebuilding trust and finding healthier ways to deal with life's stressors. This topic is important as it underscores the concept that trust serves as a fundamental pillar in the path to recovery.
===============
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction and Background Beth introduces herself, and acknowledges her and her son Joe's commitment to helping those impacted by adoption. She also introduces David Bohl as a guest who has struggled and recovered from addiction. 00:01:00 - David's Adoption Story and Addiction David shares his adoption story of being relinquished at birth and adopted, as well as his struggles with alcohol and nicotine addiction. He highlights the impact of trust issues stemming from his relinquishment and adoption experiences. 00:03:42 - Destigmatizing Addiction David discusses the need to destigmatize addiction and use everyday language to describe and address addiction issues. He emphasizes the importance of building trust and using more accepting language in recovery programs. 00:07:29 - Recovery and Identity Formation David shares his journey of recovery, emphasizing the expansion of his identity from a disconnected individual to someone who has learned healthy coping mechanisms and repaired fractured relationships. He highlights the ongoing process of identity formation in recovery. 00:08:52 - Understanding Relinquishment and Addiction Beth expresses empathy for the depth of pain experienced by relinquished individuals and acknowledges the tough challenge of dealing with disconnection from a young age. David emphasizes that addiction is simply a problem to be solved and discusses the need for understanding and support in addressing addiction issues. 00:12:08 - Importance of Safe Communities and Validation David emphasizes the importance of finding safe communities and getting validated in adoption spaces. He explains how it allows individuals to understand different perspectives and get to know themselves better, but also highlights that it is just the minimum needed to start healing. 00:13:26 - Stabilizing the Situation David discusses the need to stabilize the situation in addiction treatment, emphasizing the importance of eliminating unhealthy behaviors and perceptions while enhancing one's ability to feel good about themselves and their place in the world. He stresses the need for careful discussions and robust community support. 00:15:04 - Addiction and Adoption Constellation Support Group David shares insights about the addiction and adoption constellation support group he runs with Celia Center. He explains the purpose of the group, emphasizing the importance of creating a safe place, validating experiences, and facilitating robust discussions within the adoption constellation community. 00:18:33 - Resources and Support for the Adoption Constellation David discusses the availability of resources and support for the adoption constellation community, emphasizing the importance of raising awareness, providing psychoeducation, and letting people know about the various resources that now exist, especially through virtual platforms like Zoom. 00:20:32 - Helping Adopted Individuals in Addiction David shares his approach to helping adopted individuals struggling with addiction, emphasizing the importance of finding someone to trust, getting clear on what's working and what's not, setting up goals, identifying outcomes, and providing resources and support to help individuals overcome their challenges 00:23:40 - Introduction to Recovery Coaching David Bohl discusses his role as a recovery consultant and coach, offering support and resources for those struggling with addiction. 00:24:50 - Reach Out for Help David emphasizes the importance of seeking help and finding resources that work for each individual, encouraging listeners to reach out and find support. 00:25:34 - Be Gentle with Yourself David shares a message of self-compassion and incremental change, reminding listeners to be gentle with themselves and trust the healing process. 00:26:30 - Coaching Groups for Adoptive Parents Beth invites adoptive parents to join coaching groups focused on supporting teens and young adults struggling with addiction, as well as nurturing identity and making connections for younger children. 00:27:39 - Conclusion and Call to Action Beth encourages listeners to share the episode with those who may benefit from the important discussion on addiction, and expresses gratitude to David for his wisdom and mentorship.
"Adoptive parents, go do your own work. It's kind of a natural birthright to know who you are." - Louise Browne
Adoptive parents and allies: Do you want to better understand and support your adoptive child's experiences? Our guests, adoptees Sarah Reinhardt and Louise Browne, will be sharing valuable insights and guidance on how to gain a deeper understanding and provide the support that adoptees need to thrive. By listening to their stories - and other adoptees' stories they share on their Adoption: The Making of Me podcast episodes - you can gain a deeper understanding and provide the necessary support for your adoptive child to flourish. Tune in to gain some new insights to support your adoptive child's journey.
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Understand the unique challenges of adoption experiences.
- Explore the impact of secrecy and shame in adoption.
- Gain insight into adoptees' alternate realities and perspectives.
- Get the inside scoop about Sarah and Louise's friendship and their podcast, Adoption: The Making of Me.
My special guests are Sarah Reinhardt and Louise Brownee
Sarah Reinhardt and Louise Browne are the dynamic duo behind the podcast Adoption: The Making of Me. As adoptees themselves, they bring their personal stories and insights in a candid and relatable manner on their own pod. Through their podcast, they aim to unravel the complexities of adoption, offering a blend of humor, empathy, and raw honesty. Sarah and Louise's journey of coming "out of the fog" in real-time adds authenticity and depth to their discussions, making their podcast an invaluable resource for adoptive parents and allies seeking to understand and support their children's experiences. Get ready to dive into their fascinating stories and gain a deeper understanding of adoption through their eyes. And find out more about their podcast's background and hopes for the future.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- To listen to the Adoption: The Making of Me podcast, visit their website at adoptionthemakingofme.com, or search for them on your favorite podcast platform.
- Support the Adoption: The Making of Me podcast on Patreon to help them continue their important work in elevating adoptive voices and providing valuable resources to the adoption community. https://www.patreon.com/themakingofmepodcast
- Come meet Sarah and Louise in New York for a meet-and-greet before Rebecca Autumn Sansom's and Liz DeBetta's Operation Fog Lift NYC Edition on February 2-4, 2024.
- Here are some of the books that were mentioned in the episode:
- The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier
- Journey of the Adopted Self by Betty Jean Lifton
- The Baby Thief: The Untold Story of Georgia Tann, the Baby Seller Who Corrupted Adoption by Barbara Bisantz Raymond
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introducing the Guests Beth introduces the guests, Sarah Reinhardt and Louise Browne, who co-host the podcast Adoption: The Making of Me. They aim to uncover adoption complexities and share their own adoption stories. 00:01:23 - Different Adoption Stories Sarah and Louise discuss their different adoption experiences. Sarah had a traumatic beginning, while Louise was adopted into a loving family. They highlight the impact of adoption on their lives. 00:09:30 - Coming Out of the Fog The guests share their journey of coming out of the fog, realizing the complexities of adoption, and experiencing emotional ups and downs. They discuss the awakening moments and the challenges they faced during this process. 00:11:42 - Starting the Podcast Sarah and Louise reflect on starting their podcast without anticipating the emotional intensity of discussing their adoption experiences. They talk about bonding over being adoptees and finding camaraderie with other adoptees. 00:13:02 - Adoptee Camaraderie The guests highlight the unique camaraderie among adoptees, where they can instantly connect with others who share similar experiences. They emphasize the shared understanding and connection that comes from living through adoption. 00:13:12 - The Beginning of the Podcast Journey Sarah and Louise discuss how their podcast journey began as adoptees looking to explore the adoption world and provide a platform for adoptees to share their stories. 00:14:39 - Unexpected Growth and Community Reflecting on the podcast's growth, Sarah and Louise acknowledge the impact of books, their supportive listeners, and the community they've built, highlighting the importance of diverse adoptee voices. 00:16:39 - Insights from Difficult Topics The hosts share insights from discussing difficult topics, such as the book The Baby Thief, shedding light on the impact of historical figures like Georgia Tann and the far-reaching ripple effects of adoption-related trauma. 00:19:00 - Embracing Adoptee Stories Sarah and Louise express their commitment to providing space for all adoptees to share their stories, emphasizing the importance of empathy and understanding regardless of individual experiences. 00:24:18 - Future Visions and Realities The hosts discuss their future vision for the podcast, acknowledging the desire to reach wider audiences and expand their impact, while also recognizing the challenges of balancing real-life responsibilities with podcasting. 00:25:37 - Weekend Events and Workshops Sarah and Louise discuss the upcoming New York event Operation Fog Lift, including a happy hour, a movie screening, and a writing workshop. They highlight the opportunities for adoptees and supporters to connect in person. 00:26:41 - First In-Person Event Louise shares that this is their first in-person event, and they express excitement about meeting people face to face. They emphasize the transformative experience of interacting with others in real life. 00:27:59 - Advice for Adoptive Parents The hosts offer advice for adoptive parents, emphasizing the importance of open communication, doing personal healing work, and not taking things personally. They stress the significance of acknowledging the adoptee's identity and experiences. 00:32:12 - Abundance of Adoptee Podcasts Sarah and Louise discuss the value of the adoption community supporting numerous adoptee podcasts, emphasizing the diversity of voices and the ability to cater to different segments of the audience. They highlight the importance of collaboration and supporting each other within the adoption community. 00:34:27 - Dream Celebrity Interviews The hosts express their desire to interview celebrities such as Keegan Michael Key, Colin Kaepernick, and Simone Biles, who all have adoption connections. They share their bold approach to reaching out to potential guests and the significance of elevating adoptee voices through their podcast. 00:38:12 - Coaching for Adoptive Parents Beth offers coaching services for adoptive parents, specializing in helping them navigate through challenges such as addiction, mental health, and suicidality in their children. Her personal experience allows her to provide valuable support and resources.
"Today really is the solidified decision is that I'm going to quit marijuana for...not forever, but for one day at a time. That's how people should look at it. You don't have to, but that's how I'm looking at it, to keep myself afloat." -- Joe Nakao
Unraveling Adoption's co-creator Joe Nakao catches us up on his journey to achieve personal growth and to heal his cannabis addiction, seeking support and understanding along the way.
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Understand the derailing effect of cannabis addiction
- Unravel the impact of genetic factors on adoptive individuals' addiction.
- Embrace the importance of self-compassion and support in addiction recovery.
- Explore the benefits of online support groups in addiction recovery.
My special guest is my dear son, Joe Nakao
As a co-creator of this podcast, Joe brings a personal and relatable touch to the discussion. He bravely shares his journey of addiction recovery and healing, shedding light on the complexities of his experiences as a transracial adoptee. Joe's candid and insightful reflections offer a valuable perspective on the challenges of overcoming addiction, making him an authentic and credible voice for individuals on similar paths.
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Check out the community calendar at unravelingadoption.com/calendar for continuously-updated support groups, including specific groups for adoptees and addiction.
-
Here's a Filtered view of the Addiction-specific events on the Community Calendar: https://airtable.com/app2ZqjhAS6xbLNBt/shrcW41MlAT0Bivrx
-
Join the interactive workshop How to Change Well on Zoom on Monday, January 8, 2024, at 4pm PST / 7pm EST. The workshop focuses on gracefully and intentionally making changes in your life. The cost is $20.24, and Patreon supporters receive a 50% discount on live events, including this workshop. Register at howtochangewell.eventbrite.com.
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction and New Year Update Beth introduces the episode and her son, Joe, who shares his recent achievements, such as getting his driver's permit and enrolling in college. Joe also discusses his struggles with substance abuse and mental health. 00:04:21 - Impact of Substance Abuse Joe discusses the negative effects of marijuana on his life, including memory problems and lack of motivation. He and his mom also reflect on how self-medication with marijuana as a transracially adopted teen makes sense. 00:10:31 - Influence of Supplements on Recovery Joe attributes a portion of his ability to pursue recovery to the supplements he has been taking that were prescribed after his genetic testing. These supplements have helped him feel more focused and engaged in tasks that he would have previously avoided. 00:11:32 - Embracing Change and Self-Discovery Joe expresses a newfound determination to make positive changes in his life. He acknowledges the need to go deeper in his healing process and emphasizes the importance of making the decision to pursue sobriety from within. 00:13:57 - Intrinsic Motivation for Recovery Beth and Joe discuss the significance of intrinsic motivation in the recovery process. Joe recognizes that sustainable change comes from within and highlights the importance of being personally invested in the journey towards sobriety. 00:14:14 - Recognizing the bigger picture of success Joe discusses his realization about the dead-end path of his weed usage and the importance of making a life for himself. He acknowledges the benefits of weed but recognizes its negative impact on his life. 00:15:39 - Support from friends and addiction Joe shares how his friends have been supportive and want him to be better. He reflects on his desire to be in a position to help others in the same way his friends have helped him. 00:17:41 - Genetics and addiction Beth highlights the impact of genetics on addiction and how it can be especially relevant for adopted individuals who may not know their genetic predispositions. Joe emphasizes the importance of self-compassion and reaching out for support. 00:19:16 - Finding the healing path Joe advises individuals struggling with addiction to practice self-compassion and seek external support. He emphasizes the value of meditation and self-expression through art or exercise as part of the healing journey. 00:23:19 - Reaching out for help Joe stresses the importance of reaching out to others for support, even if feeling lonely or in crisis. He encourages individuals to seek online groups, addiction and/or adoption support groups, and to find people who can offer compassionate help.
âIf you, as the white adoptive parent, are comfortable, you're not doing it right. Because your kid is uncomfortable.â - Katie Wynen
Are you touched by transracial adoption? Or do you know any adoptees who were adopted transracially? How do you personally frame transracial adoption? Some common rationalizations include the belief that love is enough, that colorblindness is the solution, and that children will assimilate easily into their new culture. But this episode will challenge those cultural norms which are based on white privilege. Stay tuned as our guest, transracial adoptee and adoption professional, Katie Wynen, shares her truth about ethical practices in transracial adoption.
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Understand the complexities of transracial adoption and how to navigate them effectively.
- Find support and insight to do the very best you can as adoptive parents in a diverse family dynamic.
- Recognize and combat the impact of white supremacy on transracial adoptive families.
- Discover strategies for helping a transracially adopted child navigate their racial identity in a loving and supportive environment.
My special guest is Katie Wynen
Katie Wynen is a transracial, Colombian adoptee who holds a Master's degree in Social Work and boasts over a decade of experience as an adoption professional. Having studied under Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao in Boston, Katie's professional journey led her to join the staff of Pact: An Adoption Alliance in 2012. In her role, she is involved in adoption placement, leading adult adoptee support groups, and providing adoption education on a national scale. Notably, Katie's commitment to advocating for adoptees, particularly those who are people of color and LGBTQ+, was acknowledged with the Angels in Adoption 2019 award from the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute. With her extensive personal and professional background, Katie is a key resource for gaining insights into ethical practices in transracial adoption.
đđđđđđđđ
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
đđđđđđđđ
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Visit pactadopt.org for information on support calls, webinars, teen and tween club, and other resources related to adoption, including race and adoption-focused therapy.
- Contact Katie at Katie@pactadopt.org for additional resources, adoptee support groups, and therapy support resources.
- Check out unravelingadoption.com for a free support group for adoptive parents, individual and group coaching, and other resources for people touched by adoption.
Understanding Transracial Adoption Complexities Transracial adoption brings unique complexities that need acknowledgment and understanding. As Katie Wynen highlights, adoptees of color often grapple with feelings of discomfort and a lack of belonging in their adoptive families. Moreover, nuances such as navigating racial identity within a family of a different race underscores the need for comprehensive support structures.
đđđđđđđđ
Other resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
đđđđđđđđ
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
đđđđđđđđ
Support and Insight for Adoptive Parents Adoptive parents play a pivotal role in shaping the experiences of their adopted children. As such, they require adequate knowledge and tools to help their children navigate challenges related to their racial identity and adoption. Wynen emphasizes the need for adoptive parents, especially those of transracial adoptions, to consider proactive approaches like finding their own support systems and continually educating themselves about various adoption issues.
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction and Background Beth introduces herself as an adoptive mom of her 19-year-old son, Joe. She also introduces Katie Wynen, a transracial, international Colombian adoptee with a Master's degree in Social Work. 00:00:57 - Katie's Adoption Story Katie shares her adoption story, being born in BogotĂĄ, Colombia, and being adopted by a white Episcopalian family in the U.S. She discusses growing up in a predominantly white community and the impact of being a transracial adoptee. 00:03:15 - Challenges of Growing Up Katie reflects on challenges she faced growing up in a white family and community as a person of color. She discusses the lack of cultural connection, language barriers, and the importance of diversity in educational settings. 00:08:40 - Career Path and Mentoring Katie talks about her career trajectory, from initially wanting to be a teacher to pursuing social work, inspired by her experience working with adopted youth. She also shares her experience working under Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao and the impact it had on her professional development. 00:11:18 - Joining Pact Katie describes her journey to joining Pact: An Adoption Alliance, and how she initially volunteered before being hired. She shares her persistence and manifestation in pursuing her career in the adoption field. 00:14:27 - Focus on supporting prospective adoptive parents of color Katie emphasizes Pact's focus on supporting prospective adoptive parents of color, including same-race placements, and how this approach differs from traditional adoption agencies. 00:17:32 - Family preservation approach Katie discusses Pact's approach to family preservation, highlighting the organization's commitment to exploring all options to support birth parents in parenting before considering adoption placements. 00:22:04 - Ethical adoption practices Katie emphasizes Pact's commitment to ethical adoption practices and how they prioritize the best interests of the child and family preservation over the desires of prospective adoptive parents. 00:24:06 - Post-placement support and resources Katie explains how Pact provides extensive post-placement support, including virtual support calls, webinars, family camps, and specific support for adoptees and their families, setting them apart from other adoption agencies. 00:26:19 - Support for Birth Parents Katie discusses the support provided to birth parents, including financial assistance and check-ins. She contrasts this with other agencies that do not offer similar support. 00:26:59 - Pact Camp Overview Katie provides an overview of Pact Camp, including its focus on education and support for both kids and adults. She emphasizes the importance of providing a safe space for adoptive families of color. 00:28:39 - Age-Appropriate Discussions Katie explains how she conducts age-appropriate discussions about adoption with kids at Pact Camp, addressing the challenges they face and empowering them to respond to teasing and intrusive questions. 00:30:44 - Impact of Pact Camp Katie shares heartwarming stories of kids at Pact Camp expressing their emotions and having meaningful conversations with their parents. She emphasizes the importance of creating a supportive and inclusive environment for adoptive families. 00:35:32 - Transracial Adoption The conversation delves into the complexities and challenges of transracial adoption, with Katie expressing her personal and professional views on the topic. Both the adoptee and social worker perspectives are presented. 00:39:25 - The discomfort of adoptees of color with white parents Katie shares that adoptees of color often feel uncomfortable around their white adoptive parents 95% of the time. She emphasizes the need for white adoptive parents to prioritize their child's well-being over their own comfort. 00:40:30 - Relationship with parents Katie discusses her relationship with her parents, acknowledging that they are not fully estranged but also not extremely close. She highlights the importance of adoptive parents acknowledging their involvement in the adoption process and the need for better support for adoptees of color. 00:43:38 - Coming out of the fog Katie advises adoptive parents to find their own support and therapy when coming to terms with their role in the adoption process. She emphasizes the need for adoptive parents to acknowledge their involvement and privilege, and to commit to being different moving forward. 00:45:25 - Acknowledging involvement in adoption Katie expresses the importance of adoptive parents acknowledging their role in the adoption industry and their lack of knowledge. She also highlights the need for adoptive parents to recognize their child as a person of color and to provide support and understanding in the face of racial challenges. 00:50:27 - Adoption trauma Katie discusses the ongoing impact of adoption trauma and relinquishment trauma on adoptees, emphasizing that it is always a significant part of their experience, especially for those who do not look like their parents. She encourages adoptive parents to understand and address this underlying trauma 00:52:09 - Identity and White Supremacy Beth shares a troubling experience of her son seeing a white person when he looks in the mirror. The conversation delves into the impact of white supremacy on identity and adoption. 00:52:44 - Ethical Adoption Beth acknowledges Katie's work in ethical adoption and expresses gratitude for her efforts. The conversation highlights the thin line of ethical adoption and the challenges faced by adoptees. 00:53:19 - Importance of Listening Katie emphasizes the importance of audio platforms for learning about race and adoption. The conversation encourages listeners to reflect and engage in difficult conversations on race and transracial adoption. 00:53:48 - Resources and Support Katie shares information about Pact's website and resources for support groups, therapy, and events related to race and adoption. The conversation also touches on the evolving perspectives on transracial adoption. 00:55:15 - Collaboration and Support Beth and Katie discuss collaboration opportunities and encourage listeners to explore Pact's and Unraveling Adoption's websites for additional support and resources.
"Adoption is about finding homes for babies, not about finding babies for families." -- Paul Fiscus
Do you want to see an increase in awareness and advocacy for natural fathers? Join me in listening to Paul Fiscus' plea for greater support and recognition for natural fathers. He hasn't seen his 5-year-old daughter Eliza since she was an infant. Through our discussion, you will learn actionable steps to raise awareness and advocate for the rights of natural fathers. Together, we can make a difference and bring about positive change for fathers fighting for their right to parent.
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Discover the impact of unjust treatment of natural parents in adoption.
- Uncover the corruption in the adoption system and its impact on parental rights.
- Explore the role of racism in adoption cases and its effects on natural fathers.
- Advocate for parental rights and learn how to increase awareness and support for natural fathers.
My special guest is Paul Fiscus
Paul Fiscus, a devoted natural father, brings a unique perspective to the discussion on adoption and custody rights. His personal experiences have propelled him to become a passionate advocate for the rights of natural fathers. Paul's unwavering determination and in-depth understanding of the legal intricacies surrounding adoption highlight the hurdles that natural fathers can sometimes encounter. His insights and commitment to creating change in the treatment of natural fathers make him an invaluable voice in the ongoing dialogue about fathers' rights in the adoption process.
đđđđđđđđ
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
đđđđđđđđ
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Visit the website freeeliza.com to learn more about Paul's fight for his daughter and to stay updated on his advocacy efforts.
- Connect with Paul directly by emailing him at Paul_fiscus@yahoo.com if you have any specific questions or want to offer support or assistance.
- Connect with the Free Eliza group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/freeeliza
- Support or volunteer for Saving Our Sisters with Renee Gelin: https://savingoursistersadoption.org/
đđđđđđđđ
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
đđđđđđđđ
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
đđđđđđđđ
Understand Unjust Treatment in Adoption The adoption industry is a tumultuous space characterized by decisions that can often feel arbitrary and unjust to the affected parties. This is highlighted in Paul Fiscus' experience where he faced severe challenges in fighting for his rights as a natural father. The bias and seeming corruption in the system reflect a pressing need for increased dialogue, ethical practices and actionable reform to provide fair treatment for all parties involved.
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction and Background Beth Syverson introduces the podcast and her guest, Paul Fiscus, who shares his experience as a natural father to a daughter he hasn't seen since infancy. The conversation aims to shed light on the complexities and injustices of adoption. 00:01:16 - Becoming a Father Paul Fiscus shares his experience of finding out about becoming a father at 39 and the complexities of his relationship with the natural mother of his daughter. He discusses the challenges of co-parenting and the impact of the mother's bipolar disorder on their plans. 00:04:00 - Relinquishment and Legal Battles Paul discusses the challenges he faced when the natural mother cut off contact and the subsequent relinquishment of his daughter for adoption. He details the legal battles, ethical violations, and his relentless efforts to fight for his parental rights. 00:08:48 - Birth Mother's Motivation Paul reveals the birth mother's motivations, including her refusal to co-parent, control issues, and financial gains from the adoption. He highlights the unethical practices within the adoption industry and the impact on his daughter's well-being. 00:12:42 - Adoptive Parents' Role Paul discusses the refusal of the adoptive parents to communicate with him and their perspective on the legal process. He emphasizes the ethical and moral considerations surrounding the adoption of his daughter. 00:13:00 - Filing for Paternity Paul shares his experience of filing for paternity despite uncertainty about being the biological father. He discusses the legal process, including the petition and motions filed. 00:14:38 - Legal Battle and Emotional Toll Paul recounts the emotional and legal challenges he faced in the courtroom. He details the accusations made against him and the impact it had on his mental health. 00:18:48 - Seeking Relief Paul discusses his current legal actions, including filing a writ to the US Supreme Court. He expresses frustration with the legal system and the challenges he faces in seeking justice for his situation. 00:20:26 - Emotional Impact and Coping Paul opens up about the emotional toll of the situation, including struggles with PTSD and managing anger. He shares how music and meditation have helped him cope. 00:22:56 - Last Legal Resort Paul explains that filing a writ to the US Supreme Court is his last legal option. He also discusses potential motives behind the opposition he has faced in the legal system. 00:25:49 - Coping with lack of support Paul discusses the lack of support he has received and the impact it has had on him. He mentions feeling frustrated and unheard, highlighting the need for awareness and advocacy for fathers in similar situations. 00:26:24 - Race and adoption The conversation delves into the racial dynamics of adoption, with Paul noting the disparity in outcomes for Caucasian fathers compared to Hispanic or African American fathers. They discuss the disturbing implications of this racial divide in the adoption process. 00:27:43 - Gender dynamics in the legal system The conversation touches on the frustration with the legal system, particularly the role of judges who are often parents themselves. They explore the challenges of advocating for parental rights in a system that seems to favor certain demographics. 00:29:00 - Impact on the child The discussion delves into the emotional impact on Paul's daughter, Eliza, and the potential consequences of the misinformation she may have been exposed to. They express concern for the future relationship between Eliza and her adoptive parents. 00:33:32 - Call to action Paul emphasizes the importance of raising awareness and promoting ethical adoption practices. He encourages listeners to share the episode and engage in advocacy efforts to support ethical family preservation and child welfare.
Take the initiative to learn from all the resources that are out there. Recognize the importance of doing so for the benefit of adopted youth. - Meggin (Nam) Holtz
If you're interested in supporting adopted youth in your family or community, then we have inspiration for you in today's episode! You may be trying to provide a loving and understanding environment, but still seeing your child struggle with feelings of not belonging. If you're feeling like your efforts to connect with an adopted youth in your life are falling short, then you are not alone! It's common to feel frustrated and discouraged when you see your child grappling with identity issues despite your best efforts to support them.
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Discover how adoption shapes identity exploration in youth.
- Explore the transformative power of artistic expression for adoptees.
- Uncover the complexities of searching for biological relatives as an adoptee, especially as a teen or young adult.
- Learn the importance of support and community for adopted youth.
My special guest is Meggin (Nam) Holtz
Joining us today is the remarkable Meggin (Nam) Holtz, an intercountry, interracial adoptee and adoption therapist. As a Korean adoptee who was raised in the US, Nam has been at the forefront of adoption advocacy, awareness, and support for over a decade. With a Master's in Social Work, she brings a wealth of expertise, working in a private practice with adopted individuals and their families, while also engaging in macro work towards adoption reform and education. Nam's award-winning documentary, Found in Korea, serves as a powerful catalyst for discussions about adoption among youth and young adults, showcasing her commitment to empowering adoptees and fostering understanding.
đđđđđđđđ
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
đđđđđđđđ
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Watch Nam's documentary film Found in Korea on Vimeo to gain insight into the experiences of intercountry, interracial adoptees who are searching for their birth parents: https://vimeo.com/ondemand/foundinkorea
- Connect with Meggin (Nam) Holtz on Instagram at @foundinkoreafilm and on Facebook at Found in Korea
- Visit the website adoptioninformed.com to learn more about Nam's therapy practice and find her contact information for potential therapy sessions.
- Check out the Adoptee Mentoring Society that Nam mentioned, run by Angela Tucker: https://www.adopteementorship.org/
- Here are Pact's youth groups: https://pactadopt.org/youth-clubs/
- Find support groups and more events for all ages and all types of people touched by adoption at Beth's Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
- Explore the unravelingadoption.com website for resources, coaching groups, and individual coaching services for adoptive parents.
- Consider supporting the Unraveling Adoption podcast by visiting patreon.com/unravelingadoption to contribute to the show's maintenance and development.
Artistic Expression for Adoptees Artistic expression can serve as a vital cathartic outlet for adoptees' feelings of confusion or alienation. Activities like dance or music not only provide a form of non-verbal communication but also can help adoptees feel connected and accepted.
Identity and Adoption The concept of identity is complex for adoptees, being shaped by both their biological heritage and the family that raises them. Adopted youths often grapple with issues regarding self-identity, as they navigate the intersection of different cultures, races, and environments. Providing a supportive environment that appreciates these unique experiences can foster a stronger sense of self and understanding for adoptees.
Challenges of Biological Search It's common for adoptees to seek their biological roots to answer questions about identity and heritage. However, this journey can often be fraught with emotional turmoil and disappointment. Support and guidance during this process can prevent feelings of isolation and help the adoptees deal with complex emotions constructively.
đđđđđđđđ
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
đđđđđđđđ
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
đđđđđđđđ
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introducing the Guests Beth welcomes Joey as co-host, and introduces the guest, Meggin (Nam) Holtz, an intercountry, interracial adoptee, and adoption therapist. They discuss their personal experiences with adoption. 00:03:19 - The Power of Dance and Music Nam shares her experience as a professional dancer and the importance of dance and music in her life as a form of nonverbal communication and emotional regulation. Joey also shares his experience as a musician and how music has been a lifeline for him. 00:11:13 - The Journey to Making a Documentary Nam discusses her decision to make a documentary about her birth search and reunion in Korea. She shares the emotional process of deciding to search for her birth family and the challenges of documenting her journey on film. 00:13:46 - Navigating Korea Alone Beth inquires about Nam's experience of traveling to Korea by herself, not knowing the language, and managing the camera while documenting her emotional journey. They touch upon the challenges and emotional turmoil Nam faced during her trip. 00:09:29 - Identity and Alienation Joey shares his experience of feeling alienated and struggling with his identity as a minority in a predominantly white school and how it impacted his self-perception. Nam also reflects on her own challenges with identity and feeling alienated growing up in a white household. 00:14:02 - Emotional Challenges and Directing Nam shares the emotional challenges and behind-the-scenes work of directing her documentary. She discusses the struggle of maintaining composure on camera and the non-stop work during filming, highlighting the intense experience of creating the film. 00:16:11 - Visiting Country of Origin Nam encourages people to visit their country of origin, emphasizing the value of experiencing the space and its resonance without the pressure of fulfilling certain expectations. She reflects on her own powerful moment in the water on the island where she was born. 00:17:48 - Purpose of the Film Beth and Nam discuss the impact and purpose of the film, Found in Korea, for young adoptees and families. Nam shares her intention to create a positive and hopeful representation of searching for one's origins, emphasizing the importance of representation and early intervention in addressing adoption-related questions and losses. 00:23:36 - Learning and Growth Nam reflects on her family's openness to learning and acknowledges the changes and growth in her understanding of adoption over time. She discusses the evolving perspectives and terminology in the adoption community, highlighting the shifting nature of knowledge and awareness in this area. 00:27:40 - Teen Mentorship and Group Outings Nam and Joe discuss their experiences in teen mentorship and the impact of group outings for adoptee teens. They highlight the challenges of online adoption groups and the need for in-person connections. 00:28:55 - Barriers to Online Adoption Groups Joe expresses his preference for in-person meetings and the difficulty of building relationships online. Nam highlights the need for responsible leadership in in-person support groups for youth and mentions various online adoptee groups and meetups. 00:33:31 - Adoptees Not a Monolith The conversation delves into the diversity within the adoptee community, emphasizing the importance of recognizing different experiences, such as transracial adoption and age at adoption. They stress the need for understanding and acknowledging these differences. 00:36:53 - Challenges Faced by Youth Joe shares his perspective on societal expectations and the challenges faced by the younger generation. Nam acknowledges the need for adults to listen more and acknowledges the unique experiences and perspectives of today's youth. 00:39:12 - Taking Initiative to Learn and Speak Up Nam urges adoptive parents and community members to take the initiative to educate themselves about adoption experiences. They emphasize the importance of speaking up against the dominant narrative of adoption as purely positive and recognizing the complexities and losses involved. 00:42:23 - Reconnecting with Joe Beth expresses her excitement about having Joe back on the podcast and looks forward to more appearances in the future. 00:42:36 - Unraveling Adoption Beth shares information about the website, coaching groups, and resources available for adoptive parents. 00:42:50 - Support for Adoptive Parents Nam emphasizes the availability of free resources and coaching for adoptive parents, encouraging them to seek support. 00:43:06 - Conclusion and Call to Action Beth, Nam, and Joe express their gratitude for the conversation and encourage listeners to stay safe. Beth also mentions the Patreon account for those interested in supporting the podcast.
I think that it's definitely a complicated thing, no matter how great the conditions are. But it definitely did something for me to have contact with my biological part of the adoptee experience. - Ben Coolman
If the adoptee in your life is feeling overwhelmed by conflicting loyalties and uncertainty about where they belong, we want them to know they are not alone! Despite their efforts to maintain relationships with both sets of parents, they may find themself feeling torn between two worlds and struggling to find their own identity. This is a common experience for many kids and young adult adoptees who grew up in open adoptions, but there are ways to navigate this journey and find oneâs authentic self.
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Gain insight into unique open adoption experiences.
- Navigate the challenges for adoptees of maintaining relationships with multiple parents.
- Discover the need for support tailored for young male adoptees.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
My special guest is Ben Coolman
Ben Coolman, a 23-year-old philosophy grad student at Boston College, joins Beth on this episode. Ben's unique experience as a same-race domestic adoptee in an open adoption from birth brings a fresh perspective to understanding the dynamics of open adoption. Growing up with other siblings (not biologically related) in open adoptions, Ben offers valuable insights on navigating relationships with multiple sets of parents and the impact of openness on his life. His candid approach and personal journey provide a relatable and insightful take on the complexities of open adoption, making this episode a must-listen for adoptive parents, young adult adoptees navigating similar experiences, and community members who want to understand adoption's complexities better.
Here's how to find Ben:
- Follow Ben on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bencoolman1/
- Connect with Ben on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ben.coolman.10
- Reach out to Ben via email: BenCoolman@gmail.com
Other Resources:
- Male adoptee support groups (Community Calendar filtered for Male Adoptees only): https://airtable.com/app2ZqjhAS6xbLNBt/shroqjNUz502b5FJE
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
Navigating the ComplexitiesNavigating an open adoption's complex dynamic demands strength and an intuitive understanding of human emotions. Ben discussed how managing relationships with four parents can occasionally be challenging, especially the pressure to spend equal time with each parent. He also emphasized the importance of personal growth, self-security, and following intuition when managing the demanding task of evenly divided attention and care.
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction and Background Beth introduces the podcast and her guest, Ben Coolman, a 23-year-old adoptee in an open adoption. Ben shares his origin story, highlighting how his biological parents selected his adoptive parents before his birth. 00:03:55 - Childhood Perceptions Ben reflects on his childhood perceptions of adoption, including his naive belief that everyone gets adopted. He also discusses his experiences with visits from his biological parents and their influence on his understanding of adoption. 00:08:18 - Contrasting Relationships Ben explores the differences between his biological and adoptive parents, highlighting their unique sensibilities and the distinct ways he bonds with each of them. He also touches on his evolving understanding of the adoption experience as he matures into adulthood. 00:10:01 - Navigating Relationships Ben discusses the challenges of managing multiple parental relationships as a young adult. He shares his experience of balancing holiday visits between his biological and adoptive families, highlighting the complexities of maintaining these connections. 00:13:47 - Personal Reflections Ben reflects on his personality traits, noting his fluctuation between being assertive and considering others' needs. He also shares his attempts to integrate and balance his relationships by finding a sense of belonging between his adoptive family in Providence, Boston, and New York. 00:14:08 - Building in the Woods with Biological Father Ben sets aside a month every summer to build in the woods with his biological father, sacrificing time with friends. He shares about their construction projects and the intense experience of working together for a month. 00:16:20 - Advantages of Open Adoption Ben reflects on the positive aspects of growing up in an open adoption, including exposure to diverse experiences and the interest his biological parents have in him. He emphasizes the unique nature of his own open adoption experience. 00:18:13 - Disadvantages of Open Adoption Ben discusses the complexities of open adoption, including the internal struggle of feeling pulled between his biological and adoptive parents. He shares how the contrasting backgrounds and careers of his parents have influenced his perspective. 00:23:16 - Impact of Open Adoption on Identity Ben delves into how open adoption has helped him make sense of his story, providing insight into his background and the reasons behind his adoption. He explores the concept of the adoption constellation and its influence on his journey to self-coherence. 00:24:53 - Nature vs. Nurture Ben reflects on the interplay between nature and nurture in shaping his identity, acknowledging the impact of both sets of parents on his development. He discusses how his career path aligns with his adoptive parents' backgrounds while being influenced by his biological parents' sensibilities. 00:27:46 - Connecting with Young Men The host expresses the need for more young men to connect with her son Joey and highlights his son's deep thinking. Ben offers to interact with people on social media and shares his contact information.
I think for my mother, she didn't always really see me quite as a person of equal value. - Janell Strube
A biracial adoptee, Janell Strube, shares her powerful journey of navigating racial identity and the impact of racism behind closed doors. Did she ever find the acceptance and understanding she sought?
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Realize the complexities of biracial identity.
- Begin to understand the impact of racism on identity formation.
- Navigate the unique challenges of biracial identity.
- Learn how to create a supportive environment for biracial or transracial adopted people.
- Break the cycle of intergenerational trauma through awareness and action.
đđđđđđđđ
My special guest is Janell Strube
Janell Strube is an accomplished domestic interracial adoptee, memoirist, novelist, and poet. With her unique perspective as an biracial adoptee and an adoptive parent, she navigates the complexities of race and adoption with depth and insight. Having been adopted at just four days old through a church adoption and growing up in a predominantly white community, she faced challenges and prejudices that shaped her understanding of her biracial identity. Her writings and poetry offer a powerful glimpse into her journey, providing valuable insights for parents of biracial children seeking guidance and understanding.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Check out Janell Strube's memoir, novels, and poetry to gain further insight into her adoptee experiences: janellstrube.com
- Find Janell on Instagram: @janellstrube
- Subscribe to Janell's Substack: https://janellstrube.substack.com/
- Attend adoption-related events, screenings, and gatherings in your local area to connect with others in the adoption community: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đđđđđđđđ
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
đđđđđđđđ
Exploring impact of racism on biracial identity Racism can play a significant role in the development of a biracial identity, particularly when it manifests within the familial setting, as encountered by Janell. This can lead to confusion, insecurity, and emotional distress, potentially disrupting a child's self-esteem and sense of self-worth. The way in which a family navigates and counteracts racism can heavily influence a child's perception of their racial identity and their ability to fully embrace their dual heritage.
Learning strategies to navigate challenges Navigating the challenges of biracial identity formation involves actively embracing and valuing the child's distinct cultural backgrounds. Acknowledging and addressing inherent prejudice, providing positive role models from both of the child's racial backgrounds, and listening to and validating the child's experiences are strategies that can cultivate a supportive environment. As in Janell's experience, writing can also be used as a tool for healing and making sense of one's racial identity.
đđđđđđđđ
Here's Janell's Tree poem:
đđđđđđđđ
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:01:17 - Early Childhood and Adoption Janell shares that she was adopted when she was four days old through a church adoption. Her birth mother, who was white, made the decision to relinquish her. Janell also reveals that she was introduced as a "mulatto child" during her childhood. 00:03:32 - Discovering Her Biracial Identity Janell explains that she learned she was adopted and biracial when she was three years old. She recalls the emotions she felt upon finding out and how her parents handled the revelation. She also discusses her perception of herself as both black and white. 00:05:59 - Community and Racism Janell discusses her experience growing up in a predominantly white community. She shares that she faced racism from some members of her community and struggled with the lack of support or protection from her parents. She also reflects on her parents' pride in adopting a mulatto child. 00:09:26 - Lack of Context and Value Janell talks about the lack of context her parents provided regarding her adoption and how it affected her sense of identity. She also mentions that her mother didn't always see her as a person of equal value, which has been an ongoing source of pain. 00:13:41 - Experiencing Racism in Closed Doors The guest shares her personal experience of racism within her own family, including her birth grandmother's refusal to be called grandmother and her birth mother's family's rejection of her because she is biracial. 00:14:31 - The Impact of Racist Comments Racist comments have a deep and lasting impact on children who are adopted into families that ignore or perpetuate racism. The guest describes these comments as cuts on the soul, causing long-term emotional and psychological harm. 00:15:19 - Lack of Cultural and Racial Mirrors The guest discusses the lack of cultural and racial mirrors in her early life, with white people dominating her surroundings and no role models to look up to. It was only later, in high school, that she found a black friend who became her cultural mirror. 00:16:41 - Uncomfortable Interracial Experience The guest's mother felt embarrassed when they attended a Jesse Jackson event where they were the only white people. It was a moment that made her mother uncomfortable and gave her a glimpse of what it feels like to be the racial minority. 00:20:12 - Writing as a Coping Mechanism The guest turned to writing as a coping mechanism, using it as a way to express her feelings and experiences that couldn't be openly discussed or shared. Writing became a tool for self-expression and a way to release the pain she felt. 00:27:33 - Being a Bridge The guest discusses the importance of being a bridge between two worlds and finding inner strength to navigate challenges and find purpose. 00:28:10 - Fostering Children The guest shares her experience growing up as an adopted child and how it inspired her to become a foster parent. She highlights the need for better treatment and support for children in foster care. 00:29:28 - Adopting her Son The guest talks about adopting her son after his mother passed away and how she made a daily commitment to him. She acknowledges the struggles he faces but expresses pride in his resilience and ability to find joy in life. 00:31:32 - Mother-Son Bond The guest shares a precious memory of visiting her son in Florida and wearing matching hats. She describes their close bond and her admiration for his big heart. 00:33:07 - Advice for Parents of Biracial Children Janell provides advice for parents of biracial children, emphasizing the importance of examining prejudices, modeling non-racist behavior, and valuing all cultures. She also encourages parents to listen to and advocate for their children's experiences. 00:41:41 - Connecting with Family Janell discusses how she connects with both sides of her family and sees herself as a part of them, whether for good or bad. She expresses that writing her memoir is helping her process her experiences and put them into perspective. 00:42:30 - Complex Lives Janell reflects on the complexity of her own life and the lives of those involved in her adoption. She discusses the importance of understanding the struggles and pain of her adoptive mother and birth mother, and how it shapes her perspective. 00:43:45 - Generational Trauma The conversation shifts to the concept of intergenerational trauma and how it is passed down through genes. Janell believes in the truth of epigenetics and how the trauma of her ancestors is present within her. She emphasizes the importance of mitigating pain for future generations. 00:45:01 - Unconditional Love and Acceptance Janell highlights the importance of unconditional love and acceptance within her family, especially as an adoptive parent herself. She acknowledges the need to let children find their own path and not see them as mirrors of ourselves. 00:47:19 - Validating Adoptees' Stories Janell expresses gratitude for being able to share her story and emphasizes the importance of adoptive parents listening to adoptees without trying to minimize or invalidate their experiences. She hopes that her story will help others understand the complexities of adoption.
While I'm away this Thanksgiving week, I wanted to make the recording of our recent Adoptee Remembrance Day vigil available to you all. The live Zoom event was on October 30, 2023. Hear powerful personal stories, emotional poetry, and calls for greater awareness of adoptee suicide, murder, and deportation.
TO WATCH THE VIDEO OF THE EVENT, click here: https://youtu.be/uun76F2JQpE
TO ACCESS THE WRITTEN PROGRAM FOR THE EVENT, click here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vAkPZW1duk8UlOFhWIfS0ki5xJldn88CtRVJiq9jYwg/edit?usp=sharing
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
SUICIDE PREVENTION RESOURCES:
- 988 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - Call 988 or go to https://988lifeline.org/
- "Adoptees are Dying, But Adoption Agencies Continue to Neglect Our Cries" - Essay by ARD creator Pamela Karanova: https://therealadopteamoxie.substack.com/p/adoptees-are-dying-but-adoption-agencies
- Adoption and Suicide Prevention: Adult Adoptees Speak Out - Video from AFFCNY: https://www.affcny.network/posts/rebroadcast-adoption-and-suicide-prevention-adult-adoptees-speak-out-agape-monthly-educational-trainings-33532586
- Ask Us Anything About Suicidality - Video from Beth Syverson and Frank King, with Joey Nakao: https://youtu.be/5SrnyyT9Jh4
- Chronic Suicidality with Frank King - Unraveling Adoption podcast episode: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/25558560
- Psych Hospitals & Suicidal Ideation - Unraveling Adoption podcast episode with Joey Nakao: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/25558716
- Toward Preventing Adoption-Related Suicide- essay by Mirah Riben: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/toward-preventing-adoptio_b_8127882?fbclid=IwAR37CB0IuVD8rRy-ACkUiHhvH9o-Qo2-RotQ1UfkXLN0LDt8LSCU5OHy6X4
OTHER RESOURCES FROM OUR PRESENTERS:
- Rent Rebecca Autumn Sansom's documentary Reckoning with the Primal Wound: https://reckoningwiththeprimalwound.vhx.tv/buy/reckoning-with-the-primal-wound-2
- Unraveling Adoption is organizing a panel discussion called "Sacred Plant Medicine for Healing the Adoption Constellation: How psychedelic journeys can heal trauma" on December 3. Free tickets and more information here: https://healingadoptiontrauma.eventbrite.com
- Healing the Adoption Constellation Database - find all kinds of practitioners who work with adoptees, birth parents, and/or adoptive parents: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
I'm so grateful to be in community with you all as we delve deeply into these difficult topics around adoption trauma, suicidality, murder, deportation, and the deep pain that most adoptees feel. Please reach out to me or someone you trust if you are feeling dysregulated after hearing or watching this recording. It's important but heavy material to process!
Other resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:02 - Introduction Beth introduces the episode and explains that it will be a recording of the Adoptee Remembrance Day service from October 30, 2023. She encourages listeners to watch the video for a more immersive experience. 00:01:26 - Purpose of Adoptee Remembrance Day Beth explains that Adoptee Remembrance Day was created to raise awareness of crimes against adoptees, honor the lives of those lost, and bring attention to adoptee suicide and the issue of international adoptees living without citizenship. 00:04:31 - Self-care and Support Beth emphasizes the importance of self-care during the emotional event and encourages listeners to reach out for support if needed. She also provides the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline number. 00:05:01 - Grounding Exercise Beth guides listeners through a grounding exercise to connect with their hearts, the present participants, and the adoption community. 00:05:25 - Adoptee Remembrance Day 2020 Adoptee Moses Farrow shares a touching video he made 3 years ago, the first Adoptee Remembrance Day. 00:09:35 - "Out of the Adoption Fog" Emily Alber shares her poem and artwork 00:10:42 - "A Very Important Day" Christine Warmus Murphy reads a poem about her adopted brother who died by suicide. 00:13:42 - Excerpt from Side by Side: Out of a Korean Orphanage and Into the World Glenn Morey's film project provides many stories of Korean adoptees. This one is a young woman who attempted suicide. 00:17:13 - "Landon" Janell Strube reads a poem she wrote about Landon Maloberti, a young boy who was murdered by his adoptive parents. 00:19:23 - "My Other Loss" Liz DeBetta reads her poem and shares her artwork 00:23:08 - Honoring her daughter Jane Birth mother Lorraine Dusky reflects about her relinquished daughter's difficult life that ended in suicide. 00:27:37 - "Ungrateful" Ande Scott reads her poem 00:29:30 - Reckoning with the Primal Wound Filmmaker Rebecca Autumn Sansom introduces the trailer to her adoption documentary 00:31:58 - "Why I Write Poetry" Poet Michael Grenfell shares his work 00:33:32 - "What Will Become of My Mother Birth mother Mimi Janes reads a poem by Beth Brown 00:38:08 - "Dying to Know" from For the Records Chance IbĂĄĂąez, Joel IbĂĄĂąez, and Beth Syverson perform a song from Rich Uhrlaub's new adoption musical 00:43:55 - "Be Grateful You Weren't Adopted" Peter Capomolla Moore shares his poem 00:47:26 - Honoring her son Ray Birth mother Laura Engel shares the story of her reunion with her son who later died by suicide 00:53:35 - Opportunity to donate to Adoptees Connect; with "Worth It" Attendees are urged to donate to Pamela Karanova's nonprofit organization at AdopteesConnect.org while Joseph Nakao's music video is played 00:56:42 - Excerpt from "Being Adopted" Collective art project by Nicole Rademacher, with background music by Joseph Nakao 00:59:54 - "Integration" Liz DeBetta reads a second poem she wrote 01:03:57 - Silence and Lighting Our Path Forward After a moment of silence, the attendees observed a moment of silence, then lifted our candles up to the camera. Emily Alber's artwork was displayed during this section 01:04:59 - Gratitude and Dismissal A reminder to be gentle with ourselves and to care for the adoptees in our lives. If anyone is struggling with suicidal thoughts, reach out to the suicidal crisis lifeline (988) or the adoption community. Every individual is valuable, and we need you all here. Gratitude is expressed for the adoptees and birth parents who participated in the event. Attendees are encouraged to pour themselves into supporting adoptees with compassion and effective advocacy. Mental health support is available through the Adoption Constellation database. (UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing) In honor of Beth's son's intention, participants are invited to unmute themselves and say "stay safe." Emphasizing the importance of mental health, they encourage everyone to take care of themselves and seek support when needed.
Reserve your FREE ticket to the Sacred Plant Medicine for Healing the Adoption Constellation webinar featuring Mee Ok as one of the panelists, December 3 at 1pm PST: https://healingadoptiontrauma.eventbrite.com
When you're in the margins and outside of the dominant narrative, you're very aware of what is just taken for granted. - Mee Ok Icaro
A transformative journey unfolds as Mee Ok, a Korean transnational adoptee, embraces the healing power of Ayahuasca, finding dramatic physical healing, challenging her beliefs, and finding spiritual growth amidst the risks and rewards of this sacred plant medicine.
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Discover the transformative power of Ayahuasca on one's healing journey.
- Explore cultural assimilation in the context of sacred plant medicines.
- Learn about how sacred plant medicines (psychedelics) can treat and cure autoimmune diseases.
- Understand the profound connection between the mind and body, and how it impacts physical ailments.
- Explore the responsible and ethical use of sacred plant medicines for personal growth and healing.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
â¨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
My special guest is Mee Ok Icaro
Mee Ok Icaro is a noted writer, poet, teacher, book doula, and sacred medicine support practitioner. Born in Korea and adopted by a white evangelical couple in the US, her personal journey has been shaped by the complexities of transracial and transcultural adoption. Mee Ok was one of the case studies in Dr. Gabor MatĂŠ's recent book, The Myth of Normal, where she shared her experiences of overcoming scleroderma through the use of sacred plant medicines. Her story was also featured in an episode of Netflix's series [Un]Well, shedding light on her healing journey. Mee Ok's expertise and insights have led her to participate in Dr. MatĂŠ's panel for his Wisdom of Trauma Summit, where she shared her profound knowledge on the responsible use of sacred plant medicines. Her upcoming involvement in Unraveling Adoption's Sacred Plant Medicine for Healing the Adoption Constellation panel promises to offer valuable perspectives on how adoption, trauma, and physical pain can be transformed by sacred plant medicines.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Find out more about the upcoming Sacred Plant Medicine for Healing the Adoption Constellation panel on December 3, 2023: https://healingadoptiontrauma.eventbrite.com
- Read Dr. Gabor MatĂŠ's book The Myth of Normal to delve into the cultural separation of the mind-body connection: https://www.amazon.com/Myth-Normal-Illness-Healing-Culture/dp/0593083881
- Watch the episode of Netflix's series [Un]Well featuring Mee Ok Ikoro, and learn more about her journey with healing through plant medicine: https://mee-ok.com/netflix-unwell/
- Contact Mee Ok for a free 20-minute consultation for writing coaching or sacred medicine support practitioner for your own healing journey: HealingCompassionate.space
- Watch an endorsement video by Dr. Gabor MatĂŠ of Mee Ok's coaching work: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Lxr4hmNBeunxCw_rHjdy6hZVnZWxbXul/view
- Find an adorable photo of Mee Ok from when she was a Girl Scout: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1u2k0BJJq1dUzdavAVmIvMa3AynlKUowb/view?usp=sharing
- Review previous podcast guest Glenn Morey's Korean adoptee project Side By Side: https://sidebysideproject.com/
- Read Mee Ok's article in Michael Pollan's Medium anthology: https://medium.com/s/trips-worth-telling/ayahuasca-let-me-walk-again-43e429fcf522
- Look into Soltara, the Costa Rica organization that holds ayahuasca ceremony retreats, and use the code MEEOK for a discount: https://tinyurl.com/meeok
- Hear the Unraveling Adoption episode that Beth and Joey did about psychedelics here: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/25558749
- Request a free consultation from Mee Ok at HoldingCompassionate.space
Transformative Power of Ayahuasca Ayahuasca, a plant medicine native to the Amazon, is renowned for its transformative potential. This sacred plant allows individuals to tap into deeper levels of consciousness, confront unresolved trauma, and initiate profound spiritual and personal growth. However, engaging with Ayahuasca requires due diligence, caution, and support from reputable indigenous healers to ensure a safe and efficacious journey.
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:01:28 - Mee Ok's Adoption Story Mee Ok shares her experience of being adopted from Korea by a white evangelical couple in the US. She talks about her upbringing and the challenges she faced, including childhood sexual abuse by her adoptive father. She also mentions her search for her birth family. 00:05:29 - Finding Birth Mother through Ayahuasca Mee Ok shares her journey with Ayahuasca and how it helped her find her birth mother. She describes the process of fasting and being alone in the woods while working with the plant as well as the incredible coincidence of receiving an email from her adoption agency informing her that her birth mother had returned to their offices on the same day she started her fast. 00:11:41 - Healing and Understanding Mee Ok discusses her healing journey through plant medicine, trauma work, and connecting with her birth family. She emphasizes the importance of understanding the intentional misplacements and eradication of records in adoption 00:14:41 - The Market for Adoption in Korea The guest explains that the market for adoption in Korea was created due to complex social issues and economic devastation. The flow of money has made it difficult to stop the adoption market. 00:16:06 - Cultural Context of Korea Mee Ok discusses the cultural context of Korea, highlighting its Christianization and the presence of U.S. military bases. She also reflects on her experience as a Korean adoptee growing up in a diverse community, then a homogeneous one. 00:18:02 - Transracial Adoption and Assimilation The guest shares her experience with transracial adoption and how her parents followed the convention of assimilation. She talks about her mother's efforts to introduce Korean culture, but her own desire to be seen as an American kid. 00:19:26 - Illness and the Search for Healing The guest recounts her journey of falling ill with scleroderma and seeking various treatments, including Western medicine and alternative therapies. She explains how she discovered Ayahuasca as a potential healing tool. 00:24:47 - Ayahuasca at Home Due to her physical limitations, Mee Ok initially had to bring Ayahuasca into her own space and drink it at home. She shares her experience of using Ayahuasca as a therapeutic tool for healing while bedridden. 00:28:22 - The Healing Power of Communication Mee Ok discusses how advancements in communication technology have allowed her to overcome the challenges she faced due to her disability. She mentions that she is now able to walk and no longer needs a wheelchair. 00:28:54 - Lack of Coverage for Alternative Healing Mee Ok expresses frustration with the modern healthcare system's lack of coverage for alternative healing methods, such as Ayahuasca, which is the only effective medicine has found in her own healing journey. She highlights the narcissism and self-interest of Western medicine and the financial interests involved. 00:30:27 - The Mind-Body Connection The guest explores the connection between physical and emotional pain, particularly in relation to autoimmune diseases like scleroderma. She shares her belief that healing should be holistic and not limited to psychotherapy or physicality alone. 00:31:51 - Ayahuasca and Healing in the Jungle The guest describes her experiences with Ayahuasca ceremonies in the jungle and the profound healing she has experienced. She mentions the Shipibo tradition and their expertise in working with Ayahuasca and other medicinal plants. 00:34:37 - Ayahuasca as Sacred Medicine The guest explains her perspective on Westerners becoming guides or practitioners in the Ayahuasca tradition. She believes it should remain with the native people who have preserved it for thousands of years and sees the role of Westerners as supporters rather than leaders. 00:42:30 - Finding a Legitimate Ayahuasca Healer It's important to vet Ayahuasca healers before booking a retreat, as there are many illegitimate practitioners. Due to its illegal status, finding trustworthy healers can be challenging, and personal connections are often necessary. 00:43:04 - The Darker Elements of Ayahuasca Ayahuasca experiences can have negative aspects, including energetic attacks. It's crucial to work with reputable healers and be protected during the process. Soltara is recommended by the guest as a reputable retreat center. 00:43:30 - Restoring the Soul through Ayahuasca Ayahuasca healers often help restore one's soul, especially for those who feel disconnected. Mee Ok, who was previously an atheist, had a profound experience with Ayahuasca that transformed her perspective. 00:44:22 - Importance of Support and Integration Ayahuasca journeys can leave individuals feeling isolated. Having allies and support during the integration process is crucial. The host shares her own experience of finding an integration circle for her son. 00:46:38 - Ayahuasca as Serious Medicine Ayahuasca should be approached with the same seriousness as Western medicine. It's not something to be taken lightly, and thorough research and finding the right practitioners are essential for a safe and transformative experience.
"Being commodified, treated as an object, as a thing that can be returned or exchanged, deeply affects us. I am not a thing." - Moses Farrow
Did you know that adoptees are at least four times as likely to attempt suicide as their non-adopted peers? In this episode, Moses Farrow will shed light on the truth behind high suicide rates among adopted people, and will provide resources to help prevent adoptee suicide.
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Gain a deeper understanding of the challenges faced by adoptees and how to provide meaningful support throughout their journey.
- Uncover the alarming realities of high suicide rates among adoptees and discover strategies to prevent this tragedy.
- Explore a wide range of mental health resources specifically tailored to meet the unique needs of adoptees.
- Develop critical thinking skills to examine and question the adoption industry, promoting transparency and ethical practices for the benefit of all involved.
My special guest is Moses Farrow
Moses Farrow is an esteemed guest on Unraveling Adoption, bringing a wealth of expertise and personal insights to the discussion. As an intercountry, interracial adopted person from South Korea, Moses resides at the complex intersection of adoption, race, disability, mental health, and activism. With over two decades of experience in the mental health field, Moses has dedicated his work to serving adopted individuals and other at-risk populations. His passion for advocating a complete paradigm shift in the adoption industry is rooted in his tragic personal experiences, having lost three adopted siblings to suicide. Drawing from his extensive background and firsthand knowledge, Moses offers a unique perspective on the challenges faced by adopted people and the importance of prioritizing mental health support. We are privileged to have Moses join us on this episode as we explore the pressing issue of adoptee suicide and discuss strategies for prevention and support.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Explore Moses' website: https://www.transformadoption.com/
- Follow Moses Farrow on social media to stay updated on his work in the mental health field.
- Consider seeking therapy or counseling for yourself or your adopted family member if you are struggling with mental health or adoption-related issues. Find a list of practitioners that care for those touched by adoption here: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
- If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, reach out for help immediately. If you're in the U.S. call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
-
Here are other Unraveling Adoption episodes and workshops related to adoptee suicide, suicidality, and suicide prevention:
- Psych Hospitals & Suicidal Ideation (with Joey): https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/25558716
- Chronic Suicidality with Frank King: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/25558560
- Ask Us Anything: Suicide Edition: https://youtu.be/5SrnyyT9Jh4
- Virtual Candlelight Vigil for Adoptee Remembrance Day 2023: https://youtu.be/uun76F2JQpE
Understanding Adoptee Challenges In this insightful conversation, Moses Farrow shares his personal experiences as an adoptee, bringing attention to the significant difficulties often faced by individuals in the same situation. He discusses the feeling of being a "square peg in a round hole," highlighting the common struggle of adoptees navigating their cultural identity and fitting into their adoptive families. Moses' shared insights underscore the importance of providing support, understanding, and validation for the unique challenges adoptees face.
Tailored Mental Health Resources The discussion underscores the need for comprehensive mental health support for adoptees, taking into account the specific traumas and challenges they face. Moses highlights the prevalence of adoption trauma, urging for it to be understood as a normal response to traumatic experiences rather than pathologized as a mental disorder. He advocates for integrated mental health resources that consider the adoptee's whole experience, providing essential validation and facilitating healing and well-being.
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:01:22 - Adoptee Suicide Beth discusses the topic of adoptee suicide and shares her personal connection to it through her son Joey. Moses, who has lost three adopted siblings to suicide, emphasizes the need for better support and understanding of adopted individuals to prevent more suicides. 00:03:19 - Moses' Origin Story Moses shares his adoption story, being adopted from South Korea at the age of two. He reflects on his Korean identity and having cerebral palsy, which he believes was caused by a difficult birth experience. 00:06:21 - Childhood Dreams Moses discusses his childhood dreams and aspirations, including wanting to be an astronaut, a movie director, and a musician. He reflects on how his interests and goals evolved over time. 00:08:15 - Mental Health and Therapy Moses talks about growing up in a large adoptive family and navigating complex relationships. He reveals that he is a survivor of child abuse and highlights the lack of mental health support during his childhood, focusing more on physical health issues. 00:17:36 - Adoption as Commodification The guest shares a story from South Korea about how he feels that adoption commodifies human beings. The term "rehomed" is discussed, highlighting the disrespectful connotation it carries. The guest expresses frustration with the language used in pet adoption and human adoption. 00:18:47 - Feeling Like a Square Peg in a Round Hole The experience of being adopted is compared to feeling like a square peg in a round hole. The guest discusses not feeling like they fit in or belong anywhere, describing the struggle of not feeling Korean enough or American enough. 00:19:18 - Adopted People and Suicide Adopted individuals are four times more likely to attempt suicide. The guest acknowledges the attention given to anxiety, depression, and suicide in recent years, particularly among teens. They discuss the importance of understanding suicide within its own context and the need to destigmatize and normalize conversations about it. 00:20:41 - Normalizing Mental Health and Suicide The guest highlights the increased attention given to mental health and suicide in society, similar to the normalization of the COVID-19 pandemic. They emphasize the importance of open conversations and building support networks to validate and acknowledge individuals' struggles. 00:24:07 - Suicide Prevention as an Ongoing Journey Suicide prevention and mental wholeness cannot be viewed as achieving a goal or reaching a finish line. It is an ongoing journey and practice of self-reflection, curiosity, and intention. 00:34:57 - The Coercion in Adoption The conversation delves into the issue of voluntary adoption and questions whether individuals and institutions can truly make the decision without being influenced by the culture of coercion surrounding them. 00:35:29 - Preventing Adoption Trauma The focus shifts to the high rate of suicide attempts among adopted individuals and the need for support. The conversation emphasizes the importance of checking on adopted people regularly and providing mental health support. 00:36:02 - Updating Research on Adoption The lack of updated research on the mental health of adopted individuals is discussed, along with the need to recognize adoption trauma as a public health crisis. Mental health support and reconnecting with their pre-adoption lives are seen as crucial in addressing this issue. 00:37:23 - Overcoming Adoption Stereotypes Adopted individuals often face societal pressure to be grateful and not speak out about their experiences. The conversation emphasizes the need to recognize and validate adoptees' experiences, elevating their voices and understanding the lifelong impact of adoption. 00:41:04 - Creating Safe Spaces The importance of creating safe spaces for adoptees to share their experiences is highlighted. Sharing personal stories humanizes adoptees and challenges the commodification and dehumanization perpetuated by the adoption industry. The conversation emphasizes the need for a comprehensive approach to addressing adoption trauma.
Register at HeatherRossCoaching.com or at https://HappyEnough.eventbrite.com
Do you have a child or loved one struggling with addiction or mental health issues? Are you dreading the holidays?
Happy Enough Holidays is an interactive workshop hosted by Heather Ross and Beth Syverson Tuesday, November 14th 4:30 â 6:00 pm PST / 7:30 â 9:00 pm EST $20 for 90-minute interactive workshop
Here's What You Get: * A Supportive Immersive Experience: Curate your holiday experience with other parents who face similar challenges and understand you during this live workshop. Custom exercises tailored to your needs and situation to help you create a clear vision for supporting yourself and your child through the holidays * Reimagine Your Holidays: Rewrite the rules and set your own standards for the holidays. Uncover newfound clarity, embrace realistic expectations, and let your holiday season be a uniquely crafted experience thatâs entirely your own * Unlock Your Inner Strength and Resilience: Resilience isnât a fixed trait Itâs a muscle that can be strengthened. Together we will unlock the power within you to face holiday uncertainty head-on. * Two Inspiring Coaches: Heather Ross and Beth Syverson are your seasoned guides through this journey. They bring years of expertise and a wealth of knowledge in helping families navigate addiction
Register at HeatherRossCoaching.com or at https://HappyEnough.eventbrite.com
"Supporting a birth mother doesn't mean just offering empty words, but actively showing her what support looks like and helping her make informed decisions." - Abby Hasberry
Have you ever experienced a life-changing twist that completely altered your life view? Abby Hasberry's story of being raised in a transracial adoptive family takes an unexpected turn at age 16, revealing the complexities and challenges faced by both transracial adoptees and birth parents.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Gain a deeper understanding of the unique challenges faced by transracial adoptees, helping you provide better support and empathy as an adoptive parent, ally, or professional in the adoption field.
- Discover the often overlooked experiences of birth parents in adoption, allowing you to have a more comprehensive perspective and offer more compassionate support.
- Learn about some of the problematic practices in the adoption industry, empowering you to advocate for positive change and ensure ethical adoption processes.
- Explore the importance of therapy in addressing racialized trauma in transracial adoptees, equipping you with valuable insights and tools to help them heal and thrive.
- Dive into the inner work and forgiveness journey in adoption, enabling you to approach adoption from a place of empathy, understanding, and healing.
My special guest is Dr. Abby Hasberry
Dr. Abby Hasberry is our esteemed guest on this episode of Unraveling Adoption. With a background as a domestic transracial adoptee and birth parent, Abby brings a unique perspective to our discussion. Having worked as an educator and principal before transitioning to a career as a licensed marriage and family therapist, Abby is well-versed in supporting adoptees and birth parents on their healing journey. Her therapeutic approach incorporates brainspotting, narrative therapy, and parts work to address the trauma experienced by individuals in the adoption process.
Resources:
- Explore Dr. Abby Hasberry's website to learn more about her therapy practice and the services she offers for adoptees and birth parents: https://dearabbyllc.org/
- Find many more of Abbyâs offerings on her Linktree: https://linktr.ee/d.e.a.r.abby
Supporting Birth Parents in Adoption - Birth parents, particularly those coerced into giving up their children for adoption, bear significant emotional trauma that often worsens over time. It is crucial to provide these parents with the necessary support, including comprehensive counseling and space to grieve. Abby Hasberry stresses that these parents also need acknowledgment for the immense loss they suffer, something that the adoption system often neglects.
Advocating for Ethical Adoption Practices - Abby shares that the adoption industry often exploits vulnerable pregnant women, prioritizing the provision of infants to adoptive parents over family preservation. She calls attention to the need for transformative change in the adoption system, advocating for more ethical and responsible practices. This includes offering expectant mothers unbiased support, helping them thoroughly understand their options and the long-term effects of their decisions.
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:01:26 - Abby's Adoption Story Abby shares that she was adopted in 1971 by white parents who wanted a big family. However, due to the National Black Social Workers (NABSW) statement on transracial adoption in 1972, her parents were unable to adopt another black child. Abby discusses the implications of this statement and the challenges she faced growing up as the only black child in her family . 00:03:02 - Racial Bias and Identity Beth and Abby discuss how racial bias is present in society and how it can impact transracial adoptees. Abby shares her experience of having a strong black identity and how it sometimes clashed with her mother's racial biases. They also touch on the importance of acknowledging and addressing racial biases. 00:05:34 - Growing Up in a Predominantly White Community Abby talks about her experience growing up in a predominantly white community, where she was often the only black person in her grade. She explains how this influenced her sense of identity and the challenges she faced as a black teenager, especially when she started embracing her black culture and dating black boys. 00:12:11 - Making the Decision to Place Abby discusses her decision to place her child for adoption and the lack of support she received from her parents. She also talks about feeling pressured to give up her plans for college and track. 00:13:49 - Coercion and Lack of Support Abby reflects on the lack of clear support she received from her parents during the decision-making process. She shares how they used her passion for track as a way to pressure her into choosing adoption without offering concrete solutions or assistance. 00:14:41 - Language and Identity Abby discusses the different terms she uses to describe her experience, such as "gave up for adoption" or "placed." She talks about the importance of using politically correct language, even if it doesn't fully align with her personal feelings. 00:15:00 - Being Black in a White Family Abby reflects on her experience of being a black child in a white family. She shares that while her parents didn't treat her differently, she often felt different. Education and achievement were valued in her family, but race didn't play a significant role in her upbringing. 00:15:28 - Race and the Adoption Decision Abby discusses the role race played in her decision to place her child for adoption. She initially wanted to find an educated family with black members, but later discovered that her child was adopted transracially by a white family. She expresses her disappointment and frustration with this realization. 00:24:17 - Issues in the Adoption Industry The adoption industry has made changes to shorten waiting periods and provide infants without considering family preservation. Some tactics include moving birth parents to states with more favorable adoption laws and offering financial compensation. These practices exploit vulnerable pregnant women and contribute to the business-like nature of adoption. 00:25:42 - Varying Adoption Laws and Compensation Each state has different rules regarding waiting periods and compensation for birth parents. Some states allow adoptive parents to pay for medical expenses and provide financial support. However, this can create a sense of obligation and guilt for birth parents if they change their minds. 00:27:31 - Unaddressed Birth Parent Grief Birth parents often experience ongoing grief that worsens over time. Society doesn't acknowledge their grief, leading to suppressed emotions. Seeing children of similar age can trigger feelings of loss and longing for their own child. 00:29:20 - Transition from Education to Therapy Abby transitioned from being a principal to becoming a therapist after receiving messages from black female transracial adoptees struggling with their racial identity. Recognizing the need for adoption-informed therapy options, she decided to pursue a career in therapy to address racialized trauma. 00:30:32 - Therapy vs. Coaching Therapy delves deeper into trauma, addressing the root causes and helping individuals heal. Coaching focuses on goal-setting and achieving desired outcomes. Abby pursued a Master's degree in Counseling and Development to gain the necessary skills for therapy. 00:36:23 - Abby's Healing Process Abby shares how she allowed herself three days to wallow and feel the pain after discovering her birth mother's secret. She then made a conscious decision to not let her birth mother's actions bring negative energy into her life anymore. 00:37:13 - Feeling Sorry for Her Birth Mother Abby expresses sympathy for her birth mother, recognizing that she hasn't done the necessary work to heal and process her own emotions. Abby also acknowledges the sadness of not being able to connect with her biological brother and nieces and nephews. 00:38:33 - Working with Adoptees and Birth Parents Abby primarily works with adoptees and birth parents, focusing on their unique experiences and needs. While she also works with clients not touched by adoption, her main focus is on adoptees, as she believes their voices need to be centered in the adoption narrative. 00:39:26 - The Challenges Faced by Birth Parents Abby discusses the challenges faced by birth parents, including the shame and lack of support they often encounter. She believes that as adoptee voices gain more attention and empathy, it can inadvertently contribute to more shame experienced by birth parents. 00:40:11 - Boundaries in Abby's Practice Abby explains that she does not typically work with adoptive parents or adoption agencies. She only works with adoptive parents if their perspective aligns with her own views on adoption. Abby sets clear boundaries in her practice to ensure she focuses on the adoptee and birth parent experience.
"You can't make this up. It's a beautiful journey of discovery and connection." - Rick Wertz
Adoptees searching for their birth family are often met with dead-ends and heartache, which can be overwhelming. But Brian and Rick's story will give you hope. They demonstrate the grace and determination required to HANG ON when riding the complex roller coaster ride of reunion.
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Discover the complexities and emotional challenges of adoption, providing insight and understanding into the adoptee's and the birth parent's journey.
- Learn effective strategies for navigating reunion and building healthy relationships with birth family members, fostering connection and growth.
- Understand the importance of support groups for adoptees and birth parents, finding a community of understanding and empathy to navigate the unique aspects of reunion.
- Explore the concept of genetic mirroring and its impact on an adoptee's sense of identity.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
My special guests are Brian Stanton and Rick Wertz
Brian Stanton is an adoptee who has a captivating story to share. As an actor, filmmaker, and playwright living in Los Angeles, he has used his creative talents to explore his own adoption journey. Brian's award-winning solo play, Blank, delves into the complexities of adoption, and he further documented his search for birth family members in his film, @Ghost Kingdom. Brian's reunion with his birth father, Rick Wertz, adds another layer to his story. Their reunion, filled with twists and turns, has provided them both with valuable insights into the complexities of adoption and the challenges of building relationships with birth families. Through their personal experiences and the support of various adoption communities, Brian and Rick have gained a deeper understanding of the emotional journey adoptees and NPEs face. Their story is sure to resonate with those seeking guidance and connection in their own reunion journeys.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Rent Brian Stanton's film @Ghost Kingdom on Vimeo: atghostkingdom.com/
- Look up support groups for adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents in your area or online through Unraveling Adoption's Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
- Check out Adoptees Connect for in-person support groups around the world: AdopteesConnect.com
- Explore The Adopt Salon and Celia Center for adoption education and support: celiacenter.org/
- Discover resources for Christian fathers at Rick's ministry Faithful Fathering: faithfulfathering.org/
Building Relationships with Birth Families Reconnecting with birth families involves nurturing meaningful relationships over time, underlined by mutual respect and understanding. This journey, as explored in the conversation between Beth Syverson, Brian Stanton, and Rick Wertz, involves unexpected twists and turns that can either lead to confusion or closer familial bonds. The essence of such relationships stems from recognizing the importance of genetic connections and their impact on defining one's identity.
===============
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:01:30 - Brian's Adoption Story Brian shares his adoption story, mentioning that he was adopted shortly after birth and always knew he was adopted. He talks about his adoptive family and how his adoptive mother eventually gave him his original birth certificate when he was 23. 00:05:28 - The Reunion Brian talks about his reunion with his birth mother, mentioning that it started off well but became overwhelming for him. He reflects on the push-pull dynamic and how he wishes he had more support and understanding at the time. He shares that their communication is now solely in his hands. 00:08:22 - The Importance of Support Beth and Brian emphasize the importance of support groups for adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents. They mention the availability of online and in-person support groups and encourage listeners to seek them out. Brian discusses his experience with support groups and specific organizations that have helped him post-reunion. 00:09:52 - Difficult Conception Story Brian shares that his conception story was difficult and talks about how he dealt with that information. 00:13:47 - Finding Family Connections Brian shares his experience of discovering his biological father, and he expresses gratitude for finding Rick, who is not a criminal, unlike what Brian had thought for years. They connected through Ancestry and a supportive aunt. 00:16:15 - A Positive Response Rick recalls receiving Brian's email and discovering the connection through names on his mother's side of the family, as well as the connection to Kansas City and their high school. 00:19:13 - Openness and Support Rick and his entire family have been open, loving, and supportive of Brian throughout their reunion. Brian expresses his gratitude for their acceptance and mentions the importance of having a spouse who is understanding and supportive as well. 00:21:22 - Another Twist in the Story Brian learns from his uncle that his biological father was likely the result of an affair his grandfather had with a married woman in Kansas City. Brian realized that Rick doesn't know this information and felt a duty to tell him, leading to a difficult conversation. 00:29:26 - Connecting with a Stranger Meeting a genetically related stranger can be jarring for adoptees, but genetic mirroring and shared mannerisms provide a sense of confidence and grounding. 00:31:04 - Support for Artistic Pursuits Brian's adoptive family eventually supported his artistic endeavors, but initially struggled to understand and guide him. Brian's adoptive mother eventually admitted her lack of knowledge in the arts and apologized for not being able to help him pursue his passion. 00:33:11 - The Impact on Family Rick's daughter felt a strong connection to Rick's biological mother and like her, pursued a career in musical theater. Discovering the truth about his biological mother was a disappointment for her, but the parallels between her artistic career and Brian's are striking. 00:35:42 - Underestimating Genetics The importance of genetics in shaping one's identity and health is often underestimated. Adoptees may lack crucial information about their genetic history, making medical appointments and discussions challenging. Genetic mirroring and understanding genetic traits are vital for adoptees. 00:41:20 - Getting to Know Each Other Brian remembers expressing his desire to get to know Rick without being a burden or interrupting his life. 00:42:11 - Ministry and Faith Rick shares that he is involved in ministry and believes that everyone is an adoptee in a spiritual sense. He talks about how his faith has helped him fill the gap in his own fathering and his ministry's goal to encourage and equip fathers to be faithful. 00:43:23 - Brian's Future Projects Brian mentions that he has ideas for future films but nothing has come together yet. He emphasizes that the story doesn't end with the reunion but continues as a journey. They both express their excitement for the ongoing journey of their relationship.
"I spend a lot of my life, and even through my art, just looking for belonging." - Nicole Rademacher
Join us as we delve into the world of art therapy and adoption with guest Nicole Rademacher. Discover how Nicole uses art to heal on her own journey as an adoptee, and explore her upcoming project, "We Are Not Our Cruxes," that aims to empower adoptees and former foster youth.
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Discover the healing power of art therapy and how it can help adoptees do deeper work on their adoption trauma.
- Explore the complexities of transracial adoption and how it shapes an adoptee's identity through the lens of art
- Find out about "We Are Not Our Cruxes," Nicole's interactive, hybrid art project for the adoption constellation, starting on November 18, 2023 in Los Angeles and online.
My special guest is Nicole Rademacher:
Nicole Rademacher is an accomplished transcultural adoptee artist and art therapist based in Los Angeles. With a deep understanding of adoption trauma and personal experience as an adoptee, Nicole has dedicated her work to using art as a means of healing and self-exploration. Through her adventurous artistic creations and art therapy, she helps individuals tackle their nonverbal and often suppressed pain, offering them a safe space to express and process their emotions. Nicole's upcoming project, "We Are Not Our Cruxes," is a series of free, interactive, art-based healing events which is launching in November 2023 in the Los Angeles area and online. These events will provide participants with a unique opportunity to deepen their understanding of adoption while engaging in a transformative art therapy process. With her extensive expertise and compassionate approach, Nicole joins host Beth Syverson on Unraveling Adoption to share her insights and shed light on the power of art therapy in the journey towards healing.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Join Nicole Rademacher's adoption-related events: Attend the "We Are Not Our Cruxes" series of free, hybrid, interactive, art-based healing events in Los Angeles starting on November 18, 2023. Participate in person or online from anywhere. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/we-are-not-our-cruxes-session-one-tickets-712649603147
- Explore art therapy for adoption trauma: Consider using artistic modalities to heal from adoption trauma. Connect with Nicole Rademacher through her website, or sign up for a free 15-minute intro call: http://nicrrad.com
- Find Nicole's film project "Nesting" that we talked about in this episode: https://nicolerademacher.com/portfolio_page/nesting/
- Explore Nic's other art projects on her artist website: https://nicolerademacher.com/
- Find Nic on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/nicrrad
Explore the complexities and challenges of transracial adoption - Transracial adoption brings with it multifaceted challenges, as Nicole Rademacher, a biracial adoptee, elucidates. Adoptees often grapple with their racial identity and struggle to conform to expected societal norms and categorizations. Support from adoptive families in celebrating the adoptee's birth culture and maintaining a sense of identity is crucial, assuring adoptees that they're not confined by their racial backgrounds but can embrace all facets of their identity.
Experience the healing and empowering effects of art therapy - Using art as therapy provides adoptees with an empowering platform to express their emotions and experiences. Nicole Rademacher's upcoming project "We Are Not Our Cruxes" incorporates art-based healing events for adoptees and former foster youth to aid in their healing process. By acknowledging their resilience and emphasizing that their identity and experiences aren't solely shaped by trauma, art helps participants foster a positive perception of self, resulting in a sense of empowerment.
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:01:29 - Early Childhood and Adoption Nicole shares her adoption story, explaining that she was born in 1978 and immediately placed in foster care. She was adopted into the Rademacher family in Milwaukee and grew up in North Carolina. Nicole reflects on her mixed-race identity and the challenges of fitting in visually with her white adoptive family. 00:05:04 - Transcultural Identity Beth asks Nicole about her identity as a transcultural adoptee. Nicole explains that she presents as white and often passes as such, but she also recognizes her biracial heritage. She discusses the complexities of racial identity and the challenges of fitting in with her adoptive family. 00:07:09 - Supportive Parenting Beth emphasizes the importance of adoptive parents supporting their child's cultural identity and interests. She encourages parents to listen to their adoptee's desires regarding exploring their birth culture and to be flexible and understanding. Nicole agrees and emphasizes the need for adoptive parents to be open-minded and supportive. 00:09:38 - Reunion and Family Dynamics Nicole shares that she reunited with her birth parents in 2004 and discovered that they had married each other, and she had two younger brothers. She reflects on the complex emotions that arose during reunion. 00:13:12 - The Complexity of Family Relationships The guest emphasizes that having a familial connection does not automatically guarantee a strong bond. She shares her personal experience of searching for belonging and finding it through her art and living abroad. 00:13:40 - Embracing Foreignness The guest talks about her experiences living in different countries as a foreigner and how it allowed her to explore her sense of belonging. She highlights the freedom that comes with not fitting into societal norms. 00:14:42 - Serendipitous Love Story The guest shares how she met her husband in Chile while doing research for her MFA. They were brought together by chance and their connection grew into a romantic relationship. 00:15:54 - From Architecture to Art The guest reveals her early aspirations of becoming an architect and her transition to art school. She explains how her interest in photography eventually led her to pursue a Master of Fine Arts (MFA) degree. 00:18:24 - Exploring Identity through Art The guest discusses her artistic process, which involves creating experimental videos and installations. She shares her journey of delving into the emotions surrounding her adoption and reunion through her art. 00:26:43 - The Embodiment of Singing Nicole and Beth discuss how singing is a unique form of artistic expression because the instrument is within the singer's body. Nic also mentions her collaboration with her birth father, a symphony percussionist. 00:27:53 - Growing Up in a Pragmatic Household Nicole reflects on her upbringing in a non-creative household and how she wishes she had grown up in a more artistic environment. She shares that her parents have always been supportive of her artistic pursuits. 00:28:57 - Overlapping Experiences of Belonging Nicole talks about the overlap between the experiences of adoptees and non-binary individuals in terms of not feeling a sense of belonging. She explains how she became involved in LGBTQ+ spaces through her connections in the art world. 00:29:42 - "We Are Not Our Cruxes" Project Nicole introduces her project, "We Are Not Our Cruxes," which aims to provide a space for adult adoptees and former foster care youth to share their struggles and create art as a form of healing. She explains the research component and invites people to participate. 00:35:27 - The Creative Corps Grant Nicole announces that the project will be offered for free thanks to her receipt of the Creative Corps Grant from the California Arts Council. She encourages people to attend the events, either in person or online, and shares the bit.ly link for more information.
Belonging and Racial Identity for Late Discovery Adoptee Peter Capomolla Moore Access a written transcript here, in case you have trouble understanding Peter's lovely Australian accent: https://tinyurl.com/yc8mfcjk
"It's important for adoptees to understand and embrace their racial identity and sense of belonging. We must challenge the labels we are given and create our own narratives." - Peter Capomolla Moore
Have you ever heard these myths about the significance of racial identity and belonging for adoptees? Myth #1: Adoptees don't need to worry about race because love is all that matters. Myth #2: Adopting a child from a different race erases their racial identity. Myth #3: Talking about race with adoptees will make them feel different and uncomfortable. In this episode, our guest Peter Capomolla Moore will debunk these myths and shed light on his own truth.
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Gain insight into the unique experiences and challenges faced by adoptees when it comes to embracing their racial identity and how it shapes their sense of self.
- Uncover hidden truths through DNA testing: Learn about the role of DNA testing in unraveling family history and uncovering hidden connections, bridging the gap between adoptees and their biological origins.
- Navigate the unique emotional and psychological challenges faced by adoptees who discover their adoption later in life, and explore strategies for healing and finding acceptance.
- Learn about the importance of advocating for adoptee rights, understanding the legal and societal barriers that adoptees may face, and how to navigate the adoption system effectively.
My special guest is Peter Capomolla Moore
Peter Capomolla Moore is an Australian late discovery adoptee who has made significant strides in advocating for adoptee rights. As the president of Adoptee Rights Australia, Peter has fought tirelessly for the right of adoptees to obtain their own original birth certificate. He recently won a fight to have his birth father's name added to his original birth certificate, a battle that spanned six years. What sets Peter's story apart is the discovery, later in life, that he has Aboriginal heritage, leading him on a profound journey of cultural integration. With his unique background and personal experiences, Peter brings a valuable perspective to the conversation on the significance of racial identity and belonging for adoptees. His dedication to helping other adoptees navigate their own journeys is truly inspiring.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Visit the Adoptee Rights Australia website to learn more about their advocacy work and how you can get involved: https://adopteerightsaustralia.org.au/
- Find out more about Grandmothers Against Removal here: https://supportnotseparation.blog/2018/11/21/grandmothers-against-removal/
Other resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
===============
Cover photo credit: Renee Lydiard from Nikinpa Aboriginal Child and Family Centre
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
Uncover hidden truths It's essential for adoptees to unearth their origins and discover hidden truths about their past. These revelations, such as genetic history or familial connections, can play a significant role in their developmental and emotional journey. Knowing one's beginnings brings a sense of grounding and can lead to a greater understanding of one's identity and personal narrative.
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:01:28 - Land Acknowledgement, Peter Capomolla Moore starts with a traditional acknowledgement to country, recognizing the Aboriginal land they stand on and honoring the culture and customs of the traditional owners. 00:03:05 - Upbringing and Adoption Discovery, Peter describes his upbringing as a foster child in a stable but modest family. He shares his journey of discovering his adoption in 2017 through a DNA test, which led him to uncover the truth about his biological family. 00:06:11 - DNA Matches and Family Tree, Peter explains how he initially did the DNA test to understand his grandchildren's olive skin complexion but ended up finding a close DNA match. He delves into his confusion regarding the relationships and surnames in his DNA matches, which ultimately led him to realize he was adopted. 00:08:26 - Forced Adoption and Government Apology, Peter discovers that he was born in a Salvation Army hospital associated with forced adoptions in Australia. He discusses the government apology in 2013 and the dark history of forced adoption, trafficking, and trauma associated with it. 00:13:36 - Discovering the Truth, The guest shares their experience of finding out about their birth parents and the surprising revelation that their mother had known about their existence for only three weeks. They also mention how a family friend who worked at the hospital gave their birth mother their name. 00:14:26 - Reconnecting, Peter explains how they were able to get in touch with their birth mother through their brother. They talk about the emotional conversation they had with their mother, who expressed that she was forced to give them up for adoption. 00:15:18 - Forced Adoption, Peter clarifies that his trauma is adoption, while forced adoption is their mother's trauma. They emphasize the importance of distinguishing between the two and highlight the horrific experiences of forced adoption, including drugging women during childbirth. 00:16:05 - Loss and Reunion, The guest sadly reveals that their birth mother passed away in October of the previous year. They express the significance of being there for her in her final weeks. They also mention the Aboriginal heritage on their birth mother's side of the family. 00:19:39 - Aboriginal Identity, Peter discusses the three-part definition of being considered Aboriginal in Australia: descent, self-identification, and acceptance by the Aboriginal community. They emphasize that color does not define race and share their own experience of embracing their Aboriginal heritage. 00:27:37 - Introduction to the New Form The guest explains that there is a new birth certificate form that hasn't been approved yet, but the register knows about it. They discuss the options on the form, including whether to have the information on the original birth certificate or the integrated birth certificate. 00:28:20 - Concerns about the Integrated Birth Certificate The guest expresses their dislike for the integrated birth certificate, which includes the names of adoptive parents. They believe that while it may be suitable for current adoptees, it shouldn't be used for future adoptions. They emphasize the importance of truth and accuracy in adoption records. 00:29:45 - Issues with Promised Information on Birth Certificates The guest shares their concerns about the information included on birth certificates. They explain that many adoptees have been disappointed to find that the promised information, such as their father's name, is not actually included. This highlights the need for further improvements in adoption documentation. 00:30:19 - Challenges Faced by Adoptees Peter discusses the burdens placed on adoptees, particularly when it comes to changing their names on birth certificates. They express their empathy for adoptees and their desire to make the process easier for them. 00:32:07 - Involvement in Aboriginal Culture Peter shares his experience of getting involved in his Aboriginal culture. He explains how they received confirmation of their Aboriginal heritage and were invited to be an elder in the community. They discuss their role as an advocate for his culture in schools. 00:41:58 - Embracing Cultural Heritage, The importance of openness and embracing one's cultural heritage, regardless of whether it is good or bad, is highlighted. It is emphasized that medical history is especially vital. 00:42:14 - Personal Medical Condition, Peter shares his personal experience with a genetic condition in his leg called Popliteal entrapment syndrome. He almost lost his leg but was fortunate to have his adopted sister, a doctor, overseeing his treatment. 00:43:02 - Importance of Communication, The pain caused by Peter's adoptive parents not being open about medical histories is acknowledged. It is stressed that adoptive parents need to communicate with their children and not delay sharing important information. 00:43:45 - Embracing the Journey, The guest expresses that he would not turn back the clock on his adoption journey, as it has led to personal growth and meaningful experiences. It is implied that there is a reason for his survival.
"Don't let shame and stigma add to the struggles of being adopted. Personalized genetic testing can provide valuable insights and guidance for addiction treatment. Let's break the cycle and empower individuals to heal." - Dr. Evelyn Higgins
Are you feeling overwhelmed by the endless trial and error of finding the right treatment for your mental health and/or addiction issues? Are you trying various medications and therapies that don't seem to alleviate your pain or provide lasting relief? I think many adoptees (and others!) can relate! It can be incredibly frustrating and disheartening to invest time, money, and hope into treatments that simply don't work, leaving you stuck in a cycle of disappointment and despair. WATCH THIS EPISODE ON YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXZoCMUQgck Parts 2 and 3 include video content (starting at 40:00)
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Discover how genetic testing can reveal your susceptibility to addiction and other system dysregulation and empower you to make informed choices for a healthier life.
- Understand the importance of exploring your genetic and family history in adoption to gain crucial insights into your potential health risks and make proactive decisions.
- Uncover the intricate connection between neurotransmitters and genetic variations in addiction and mental health, providing a new perspective on the underlying causes and potential solutions.
- Explore how personalized protocols tailored to your unique DNA can revolutionize your mental health and addiction recovery journey, unlocking a pathway to lasting transformation.
- Learn about the transformative power of addressing genetic imbalances through targeted interventions, offering hope and new possibilities for improved mental well-being and overcoming addiction.
- Hear (and see!) a real-life example of an adoptee going through the genetic testing. Find out the results that Joey received from his test and the customized protocol that was prescribed afterwards.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
My special guests for this episode are Dr. Evelyn Higgins and my son Joey Nakao
Dr. Evelyn Higgins is a highly accomplished professional in the field of addiction and integrative medicine. With 34 years of clinical experience, she holds expertise in addictionology and pain management. As the CEO and founder of Wired for Addiction, Dr. Higgins has dedicated herself to helping individuals struggling with addiction through personalized treatment plans based on genetic profiles. Wired for Addiction utilizes advanced technology to analyze 85 biomarkers, including neurotransmitters and genetic SNPs, providing a comprehensive understanding of an individual's unique biology. Through a 31-page gene mapping report, clients gain insights into their brain chemistry, hormonal interactions, and genetic aberrations related to addiction, anxiety, depression, and impulse control. Armed with this objective information, clients receive an individualized biochemical pathway support plan to guide their healing journey. Dr. Higgins' work has made a significant impact in the field, offering improved mental health and addiction treatment outcomes through personalized interventions tailored to each individual's genetic profile.
Joey Nakao is a 19-year-old who has been on a journey of personal growth and healing while battling addiction for the past six years. As the son of Beth Syverson, the host of Unraveling Adoption, Joey's experience with addiction has led his family to explore numerous treatment options. Beth heard Dr. Evelyn Higgins on Heather Ross's podcast Living With Your Child's Addiction. She was fascinated with her expertise in addiction and genetic-based treatment plans. Joey decided to become a client of hers through her company Wired for Addiction (now also known as Wired BioHealth). With the hope of gaining insights into his unique biology and understanding how it relates to his addiction and mental health, Joey eagerly awaited the results of his gene mapping report, which you will hear about in this episode. By taking this proactive step, Joey is determined to improve his mental health and addiction treatment outcomes while uncovering a deeper understanding of himself. Through his journey, Joey aims to inspire and help others facing similar challenges, shedding light on the powerful impact of personalized interventions based on genetic profiles.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Check out Dr. Evelyn Higgins' company, Wired BioHealth (they just changed their name from Wired for Addiction), which works with individuals struggling with addiction, treatment centers, and correctional facilities. They create a 31-page gene mapping report based on saliva, cheek cells, and urine samples, helping people understand their unique biology as it relates to addiction and mental health. WiredBioHealth.com
- Watch Dr. Higgins' TedTalk about her work: https://www.ted.com/talks/evelyn_higgins_am_i_wired_for_addiction?
- Listen to Heather Ross's podcast, Living with Your Child's Addiction, where Dr. Higgins was a guest and shared valuable insights on addiction: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/living-with-your-childs-addiction/id1543141299
Genetic Testing for Personalized Addiction Treatment Genetic testing provides an in-depth analysis that can be used to create personalized addiction treatment strategies. It takes into account the individual's unique genetic sequence and factors in potential medical conditions to offer tailored solutions. By providing a comprehensive understanding of an individual's body chemistry, it opens up new avenues for effective therapy and leads to improved outcomes.n This is particularly useful for adoptees who are not in an open relationship with their biological families.
Role of Neurotransmitters in Addiction and Mental Health Neurotransmitters are the body's chemical messengers that play a significant role in addiction and mental health. Imbalances in neurotransmitter levels can contribute to addictive behaviors and mental health disorders like depression, anxiety, and schizophrenia. Understanding the complex workings of these neurotransmitters can provide insights into effective treatment strategies for addiction and mental health conditions.
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:55 - Background and Connection to Adoption, Dr. Evelyn Higgins shares her personal connection to adoption and how it has influenced her work in addiction recovery. She discusses her late husband's [late discovery] adoption and the importance of knowing one's genetic and family history. 00:03:01 - Adoption and Addiction, The conversation turns to the link between adoption and addiction, with Dr. Higgins highlighting the higher prevalence of substance use disorders among adult adoptees. Beth shares her own experience as an adoptive parent of a son struggling with addiction. 00:07:38 - Gene Testing and Understanding DNA, Dr. Higgins explains the process of gene testing and how it has evolved since the completion of the Human Genome Project in 2003. She emphasizes the importance of understanding the role of genetics in addiction and mental health. 00:09:32 - The Test and Information Revealed, Dr. Higgins provides an overview of the Wired for Addiction test, which examines 85 different biomarkers related to neurotransmitters and brain chemicals. She explains that the test will provide Joey with personalized information about his unique biology and how it relates to addiction and mental health. 00:13:09 - The Importance of Personal Histories, Beth discusses her frustration with a healthcare provider who dismisses the reliability of genetic tests and prefers personal histories. She highlights the need for understanding and openness in healthcare professionals. 00:13:59 - The Need for Technology in Mental Health, The conversation emphasizes the importance of using technology in mental health to provide objective information and improve diagnosis and treatment. It challenges the stigma surrounding mental health and addiction. 00:16:57 - The Impact of Genetic Testing on Addiction, The guest explains that genetic testing for addiction provides a comprehensive clinical picture to individuals struggling with addiction. It often brings relief and understanding to both the individual and their family. 00:19:06 - Epigenetics and Addiction, Epigenetics plays a role in addiction, as it can determine whether certain genes related to addiction are expressed. Trauma and major life transitions can trigger the expression of these genes. 00:20:32 - Addiction and Mental Health, Addiction often stems from undiagnosed or untreated mental health conditions, trauma, or a combination of factors. Many individuals turn to substances as a form of self-medication, not realizing the underlying issues. 00:25:36 - The Power of Genetic Testing in Addiction Treatment, Dr. Higgins discusses a case study where genetic testing helped understand the impact of addiction on a child's biomarkers. The test provided valuable information on neurotransmitters and genetics, leading to successful treatment and a positive change in the child's behavior and family dynamics. 00:26:57 - The Benefits of Genetic Testing for Adoptees, Dr. Higgins emphasizes the importance of genetic testing for adoptees who may not have access to their birth family's medical history. Genetic testing can provide valuable insights into their own biology and help them make informed decisions about their health and lifestyle choices. 00:28:12 - Understanding the Genetic Basis of Mental Health, Dr. Higgins highlights the potential of genetic testing to uncover the underlying causes of mental health issues. By identifying specific genes and biomarkers, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of their struggles and develop personalized treatment plans for improved mental well-being. 00:30:43 - The Role of Free Will and Choice, Dr. Higgins acknowledges that genetic testing provides valuable information, but individuals still have the freedom to choose how they want to act on that information. It's up to each person to decide whether they want to pursue treatment options or make lifestyle changes based on their genetic results. 00:33:42 - The Emotional Impact of Genetic Testing, Dr. Higgins discusses an emotional moment during an earlier consultation with Joey, who expressed fear about discovering his true identity through genetic testing. 00:37:44 - The Importance of Maximizing Quality of Life, The speaker emphasizes the importance of maximizing quality of life and living it to the fullest. They discuss the impact of making positive changes and how it can affect not only individual lives but also the lives of those around them. 00:38:19 - Recognition for Life-Changing Work, The speaker expresses admiration for the guest's work and suggests that they should receive recognition, possibly even a Nobel Prize, for their efforts in changing lives and making a significant impact.
WATCH THIS EPISODE ON YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXZoCMUQgck Parts 2 and 3 include video content (starting at 40:00)
00:39:37 - Understanding Test Results, The guest explains the different sections of the test results, including neurotransmitters, epigenetics, supplement protocols, and pharmacogenic reports. They highlight the value of these tests in providing valuable information for understanding an individual's biology and making necessary changes for healing. 00:45:07 - Low Norepinephrine and Epinephrine Levels, The guest discusses Joey's low levels of norepinephrine and epinephrine, which can be associated with depression, mood changes, fatigue, and difficulty concentrating. They explain how these imbalances can affect motivation and make it challenging to achieve goals. 00:47:00 - Impact of Imbalanced Neurotransmitters, The speaker reveals Joey's low levels of glutamate, which can impact learning and memory. They discuss the negative effects of imbalanced neurotransmitters on an individual's self-esteem and overall quality of life. They express excitement about the potential for improvement and the positive changes that 00:52:59 - Genetic Single Nucleotide Polymorphisms, Dr. Higgins explains that polymorphism refers to errors in genetic coding and discusses the study of epigenetics. She emphasizes that our DNA can be upregulated or downregulated by our environment, which can have a profound impact on our biology. 00:54:25 - Gene Expression and Health, Dr. Higgins explains that lifestyle habits and environmental factors can change the expression of our genes, which can affect our health. She highlights the importance of a healthy lifestyle, stress management, and adequate sleep in maintaining optimal gene expression. 00:55:16 - Impact of Gene Polymorphisms, Dr. Higgins discusses specific gene polymorphisms and their implications. She explains that certain polymorphisms increase the risk of asthma and inflammatory disorders, while others contribute to a more robust inflammatory response. These gene variations can also affect neurotransmitters and brain chemicals, potentially leading to conditions like anxiety and depression. 00:57:27 - Autophagy and Cellular Quality Control, Dr. Higgins explains the concept of autophagy, which is responsible for clearing out cellular waste. She discusses specific gene variations related to autophagy and highlights the importance of maintaining a clean diet, good sleep, and reducing exposure to harmful substances to prevent the activation of these genes. 01:00:14 - Environmental Factors and Inflammatory Markers, Dr. Higgins discusses how our environment can affect inflammatory markers. She explains that certain gene variations increase the risk of autoimmune conditions and chronic 01:09:25 - Initial Reaction to the Genetic Information, Joey expresses feeling overwhelmed and impressed by the genetic information presented to him, noting that he has always enjoyed science and math. 01:10:04 - Addressing Addiction on a Genetic Level, Beth questions how the genetic information relates to addiction. Dr. Higgins explains that addiction is influenced by multiple genetic markers and factors working together, rather than a singular gene. 01:11:01 - Genetic Propensity and Substance Use, Dr. Higgins discusses the concept of a genetic predisposition to addiction, explaining that when multiple genetic markers are present, it creates a "perfect storm" for substance use to occur. 01:13:14 - Update on Joey's Progress, Joey shares his positive experience after taking the suggested supplements for seven weeks. He reports feeling different in a good way, with increased energy, focus, and productivity. 01:18:33 - Positive Changes and Future Outlook, Joey discusses the significant changes he has experienced, such as being more proactive, having ideas and following through on them. He expresses optimism about his future, focusing on productivity, stability, and happiness. 01:24:54 - Achieving Baseline and Personal Growth, The conversation discusses how achieving baseline in one's life allows for personal growth and pursuing other interests like going to the gym. It emphasizes the importance of being open to trying different things and acknowledges the hard work put into achieving this state. 01:25:27 - Wired for Addiction (Wired BioHealth), The podcast highlights the name change of Wired for Addiction to Wired BioHealth and encourages listeners to check out their website for more information. It expresses hope that this episode will help many people.
Reserve your FREE ticket to the Sacred Plant Medicine for Healing the Adoption Constellation webinar featuring Ridghaus as one of the panelists, December 3 at 1pm PST: https://healingadoptiontrauma.eventbrite.com
"Somatic therapy starts to move the body...taking breaths, activating the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems so that I started to have full body sensation as we talked about different things." - Ridghaus
In the depths of his journey through adoption, Ridghaus faced a powerful twist that would forever alter his path. What began as a selfless decision to relinquish this son for adoption suddenly transformed into a revelation about his own life. A surprising call from a social worker shattered his previous beliefs and opened new doors of possibility.
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Understand the complexities of the adoptee experience and gain insights into its unique challenges and perspectives.
- Learn about trauma in the adoption constellation, and discover strategies for supporting healing and resilience.
- Recognize the importance of support and community for adoptees, and discover resources and networks to help navigate the journey.
- Discover the potential of psychedelics and Internal Family Systems therapy as innovative approaches for adoptee healing and personal growth.
My special guest is Ridghaus
Ridghaus is a fascinating and multi-talented individual who brings a unique perspective to the world of adoption. As a "human becoming" and lifelong learner, Ridghaus has explored various roles and identities, including being an archaeologist of cultural artifacts, a Dudeist priest, a poet, a teacher, a filmmaker, and a guide for others's journeys. His personal experiences with adoption have deeply shaped his understanding of the complexities within the adoption constellation. From relinquishing a son in an open adoption to discovering his own adoption later in life, Ridghaus has navigated the emotional terrain of adoption with resilience and introspection. His journey and his use of a controversial healing modality have provided him with valuable insights that he generously shares with others. Join us in this episode as we delve into Ridghaus' unique perspective and gain a deeper understanding of trauma and healing in the adoption journey.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Check out Ridghaus House's creative work, Six Word Adoption Memoirs: https://vimeo.com/211568644
- Attend the next Untangling our Roots summit this spring to connect with others in the adoption community: https://untanglingourroots.org/
- Consider working with an adoption competent therapist to navigate the complexities of adoption. Check out the Adoptee Therapist Directory here: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
- Find support for adult children of alcoholics here: https://adultchildren.org/
- Have you read The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk yet? https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/B08TX585RN
- Find out more about Internal Family Systems (IFS) here: https://ifs-institute.com/
- Here are the books that are mentioned toward the end of the episode:
- How To Change Your Mind by Michael Pollan: https://www.amazon.com/Change-Your-Mind-Consciousness-Transcendence/dp/0735224153
- This Is Your Mind on Plants by Michael Pollan: https://www.amazon.com/This-Your-Mind-Plants/dp/B08RF1K2LD
- The Botany of Desire by Michael Pollan: https://www.amazon.com/Botany-Desire-Plants-Eye-View-World/dp/B0B3L6G9F5
- Braiding Sweet Grass by Robin Wall Kimmerer: https://www.amazon.com/Braiding-Sweetgrass-audiobook/dp/B01H4772CU
- The Doors of Perception by Aldous Huxley: https://www.amazon.com/The-Doors-of-Perception-audiobook/dp/B002LCSVB0
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Understand Adoptee Complexities Adoptees often navigate a myriad of complex emotions and experiences related to their adoption. By gaining a deep understanding of these complexities, adoptive parents can better support their children in their unique journeys. This inclusive insight assists adoptive parents in forming a healthy, resilient dynamic within their family.
Explore Trauma and Somatic Experiences It's critical for parents and caregivers to recognize the impact of trauma that can exist within the bodies of adoptees, even when it may not be expressed verbally. Moreover, somatic experiences like yoga or hip work can provide a gateway to this unexpressed or 'bodily' trauma. The exploration of these traumas can offer an alternate healing approach besides traditional talk therapies.
Recognize Importance of Support Support plays an indispensable role in the healing journey of an adoptee, whether it be professional aid from therapists or somatic practitioners, or a comforting community that understands their experiences. Adoptees can benefit greatly from being surrounded by individuals who validate their emotions and experiences associated with adoption. Shared resonance creates a sense of belonging, and supportive spaces aid in articulating feelings productively.
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:01:26 - Ridg's Connections to Adoption, Ridg shares that his first connection to adoption was through relinquishing a son at 19. He also discovered his own adoption at 35. He discusses the challenges of being a biological father in an open adoption and the lack of support for biological fathers in adoption spaces. 00:05:20 - Discovering His Adoption, Ridg discusses his estranged relationship with his adoptive parents and their denial of his adoption. He shares the emotional impact of discovering his adoption and the importance of support and therapy in the reunion process. 00:08:59 - Reunion with Birth Mother, Ridg shares that his birth mother was looking for him and they have been in reunion since. He reflects on the challenges of the reunion process and the need for adoption-competent therapy to navigate the complexities of reunion. 00:10:26 - Adoptive Parent Perspective, Ridg discusses the delicate balance adoptive parents face in supporting their child's search for their birth family. He emphasizes the importance of adoptive parents doing their own personal work and being supportive without pressuring their child. 00:15:37 - The Body Keeps the Score and Somatic Experience, Trauma lives in the body and is experienced pre-verbally. Somatic experiences, like yoga, can access and work through these traumas in a different way than just talking about them. Hips store pre-verbal memory. 00:17:11 - Finding Support and Safe Spaces, It's important to have a support system and be in a safe space when delving into trauma. This can include therapists, somatic practitioners, or even trusted friends. Online and in-person communities can provide a sense of belonging. 00:18:19 - Survivor Bonds and Adoption as Trauma, Adoptees often form tight bonds with others who have had similar experiences, creating a sense of belonging and understanding. Adoption can be seen as a traumatic experience, but societal narratives often suppress this perspective, making it important for adoptees to find validation and support. 00:20:10 - Acceptance and Understanding at Adoption Conferences, Adoption conferences provide a space for adoptees to express themselves and be understood without judgment. The connections made at these conferences are deep and rooted in shared experiences of trauma and identity. Non-adoptive attendees can also find acceptance and understanding. 00:22:08 - The Challenges of Adoptive Parenthood, Adoptive parents often bear the brunt of adoptees' pain and anger, as they are the immediate connection to the adoption experience. It's important for adoptive parents to do their own personal work and educate themselves on adoption trauma. 00:30:33 - The Openness of Internal Family Systems (IFS), The guest discusses the beauty of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy and how it allows for flexibility and openness. There is no dogma or strict rules, and individuals can personalize the therapy to fit their needs. 00:31:11 - Understanding Suicidal Parts in IFS, The host shares a personal experience of working with a suicidal part with her son. She explains that this part is not trying to kill the person, but rather to eliminate the pain. Understanding this has been helpful in managing the suicidal part and keeping Joey alive. 00:31:54 - IFS Therapy and Psychedelics, The guest practices IFS therapy and also incorporates psychedelics into their work. He explain that psychedelics can be a powerful tool for healing and awakening, but emphasizes the importance of having a sitter or guide during the experience. Integration is also crucial for lasting change. 00:35:18 - Different Doses of Psychedelics, The guest explains the different doses of psychedelics, from micro-dosing to heroic doses. They clarify that a heroic dose is not about slaying a dragon, but about deepening the journey and seeking major healing or awakening. He also emphasizes the importance of integration after the experience. 00:40:00 - The Transformative Power of Psychedelics, Both the guest and the host share their personal experiences with psychedelics and the transformative experiences they've had. 00:45:53 - The Importance of Protecting the Inner Child, The guest emphasizes the importance of being fiercely protective of one's inner child and offers various therapeutic approaches to connect with and understand this part of oneself, including talk therapy and somatic therapy. Psychedelics, when used in conjunction with Internal Family Systems therapy, can provide immediate access to the Protector and facilitate a conversation with the inner child. 00:46:55 - Exploring Deep Emotional Spaces with Psychedelics, Psychedelics allow individuals to delve into pre-verbal and cultural burdens that may be affecting their well-being. By facing these deep-rooted issues with the guidance of a therapist, adoptees can find healing and a greater sense of wholeness. 00:48:11 - Symbolic Experiences and Healing, Ridg shares a personal experience with symbolism during a psychedelic journey, where holding a penny with images of Abraham Lincoln and a shark represented something deeper than just money. This symbolic experience brought about a sense of ease and helped lessen the impact of the guest's adoption-related concerns. 00:49:46 - Psychedelics as a Tool for Adoptees, Psychedelics, when used in a therapeutic context, can be a powerful tool for adoptees carrying cultural burdens and unresolved trauma. By engaging in preparatory work and integrating experiences, adoptees may find themselves more capable of taking on the challenges and healing on a profound level. 00:53:07 - Honoring Indigenous Knowledge and Ancient Practices, Ridg and Beth acknowledge the rich cultural history and knowledge about plant medicines that Indigenous people hold. Even though psychedelics are re-emerging in our culture, it's important to remember that these medicines are ancient and come from a deeply spiritual context.
Troubling Tropes in Media's Adoption Stories with Kira Omans "Adoptees are so infantilized in media and just seen as subjects in need of rescue and that they were given an opportunity at a better life." - Kira Omans
In a world where narratives shape our perceptions, Kira Omans defies expectations. As a transracial adoptee from China, she carries a tale waiting to unfold. But when she stepped into the glimmering lights of Los Angeles that she became more aware of the cruel twist that media had woven for adoptees. With a fire in her heart and a determination in her eyes, Kira has embarked on a journey to challenge the harmful stereotypes in media.
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Look anew at insidious adoption narratives in mainstream media and discover their lasting effects.
- Explore the unique identity challenges that transracial adoptees encounter.
- Understand the implications of white saviorism in shaping false adoption narratives.
- Identify pervasive and harmful stereotypes about adoptees portrayed in popular culture.
- Understand the vital importance of hearing adoption stories directly from the adoptees themselves.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
My special guest is Kira Omans
With a heart for advocacy and a passion for performing, Kira Omans is a force to be reckoned with in the media industry. As an Asian-American adoptee, Kira was raised in a mostly white community in Alexandria, Virginia, and her unique upbringing has significant influence on her career and activism today. As an actor, stunt person, and voiceover artist now based in Los Angeles, she has landed roles which showcaseher talent and commitment to her craft. Yet, more important to her than the glamour of Hollywood, is the work she's doing to challenge and change demeaning adoption narratives within media spaces. Kira is dedicated to ensuring that adoptees, particularly those from transracial backgrounds, are portrayed more accurately and respectfully in their on-screen representations.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Visit Kira Omans' website to watch her stunt reel and learn more about her work in front of the camera and microphone: https://www.kiraomans.com/
- Click on Kira's social media links: Linktree | Instagram | Facebook | TikTok
- Check out Kira's new database for Adoptees in Media, and add your own name if you work professionally in the media: bit.ly/adopteesinentertainment
- Support Chinese Adoptee Alliance, an organization that Kira Omans is involved with, by visiting their website and considering a donation or getting involved in their advocacy work: https://www.fccny.org/
- Watch the movie Crazy Rich Asians to support the representation of Asian actors and actresses in the film industry: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3104988/
- Consider watching the Barbie movie featuring Simu Liu, an Asian actor breaking barriers in Hollywood: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1517268
- Watch the film JoyRide that Kira mentions in this episode: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt13515090
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
Explore unique identity challenges The identity challenges that adoptees face, particularly transracial adoptees, are unique and complex. Nearly always wading through questions of identity and belonging, these individuals often grapple with a meaningful connection to their culture of origin. Exploring these unique challenges is essential in acknowledging and understanding the multifaceted narratives that every adoptee carries within, thereby preventing oversimplification or misconstruction of their identities in media.
Understand implications of white saviorism The implications of white saviorism are deeply embedded within adoption narratives, often overshadowing the voices of adoptees. This common trope centers the narrative on adoptive parents rather than the adoptees themselves, creating an imbalanced representation. Grasping the nuances of these implications will challenge and change the prevailing discourse in the media by encouraging a balanced, adoptee-centric narrative.
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:01:16 - Kira's Adoption Story, Kira shares that she was adopted from Zhongshan, China at ten months old and raised in Alexandria, Virginia by white adoptive parents in a predominantly white community. She also discusses her connection to her Chinese culture through Chinese dance and Chinese school. 00:02:22 - Acting Career and Adoption, Kira talks about her love for acting and how her adoption story may have influenced her career choice. She shares that initially, she was offered small stereotypical roles, but has seen a positive shift in the industry since the release of Crazy Rich Asians. 00:06:29 - Cultural Identity and Representation, Kira discusses the challenges of navigating cultural identity as an adoptee and feeling excluded from certain aspects of Asian American culture. She emphasizes that adoptees are still valid members of the diaspora and talks about the importance of representation in media. 00:10:40 - Progress in the Entertainment Industry, Kira expresses her optimism about the progress being made in the entertainment industry regarding Asian representation. She shares that she feels supported by her agent and manager in pursuing meaningful roles and representing herself authentically. 00:13:26 - The controversy surrounding Michael Oher's story, The guest discusses her frustration with the fact that Michael Oher, the subject of the film and book The Blind Side, did not receive any financial compensation. She also highlights the discrepancy in accounts between Oher's "adoptive" father and brother. 00:14:37 - The importance of evidence in court, The guest expresses hope that Michael Oher has gathered enough evidence to support his claims before going public with his story. She emphasizes the need for him to prove these things in court. 00:15:19 - Adoption revelations and paper trails, The guest discusses how many adoptees, including Michael Oher, find out about important details of their adoption later in life. She reflects on the challenges of discovering that you were not legally adopted and the difficulty of finding information about one's birth family. 00:16:49 - Adoption narratives in media, The guest criticizes the portrayal of adoption in movies like The Blind Side and Instant Family, highlighting the white saviorism and infantilization of adoptees. She argues that these narratives promote harmful stereotypes and overlook the adoptee experience. 00:20:28 - Tropes and harmful narratives in movies and TV, The guest discusses the prevalence of the orphan trope in movies and how it simplifies the adoptee experience. She also highlights the harmful narrative that reunion with birth parents is the ultimate resolution for adoptees, emphasizing that this is not always possible or desirable. 00:28:23 - Exclusion in Media Representation, The guest expresses feeling excluded by the narrative of the film Joyride due to the lack of adoptee representation. They discuss the importance of adoptees having ownership of their own stories and the negative impact of adoption being used as a punchline or insult in media. 00:29:53 - Positive Representation in This Is Us, The guest praises the portrayal of a transracial adoptee character in the TV show This Is Us and highlights the involvement of Angela Tucker, a knowledgeable transracial black adoptee, as a consultant. They emphasize the importance of accurate and complex depictions of adoptees' stories. 00:31:10 - Involving Adoptees in Media, The guest encourages the involvement of adoptees in the media industry, both as consultants and in creative roles. They suggest hiring adoptees early in the process to ensure accurate representation and avoid exploitative portrayals. 00:32:03 - Reflecting on Adoption's Role in Storytelling, The guest advises media creators to reflect on whether adoption is necessary to the plotline and if they are the right person to tell an adoptee's story. They stress the importance of doing research and respecting the adoption community before involving adoptees in the storytelling process. 00:33:16 - Amplifying the Message, The host encourages listeners to share the episode with people in the media industry to raise awareness about the impact of inaccurate and hurtful adoption tropes.
Uncovering Hidden Roots with Peter O'Brien Uncover the profound journey of a late discovery adoptee (LDA) as he confronts the shocking truth of his adoption, embarks on a relentless search for his birth family, and navigates the complex emotions and conflicting loyalties that arise along the way. Find out the interesting way he found out he was adopted in his mid-50s, even though his adoptive parents were planning to go to the grave without him finding out.
"Finding my biological family was a journey filled with ups and downs, but in the end, it helped me understand a part of myself that I never knew existed." -- Peter O'Brien
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Expose the clandestine aspects of late adoption and learn how to surf the emotional rollercoaster it brings to the adoptee.
- Learn about the significant role of DNA testing in the quest for unveiling birth family genealogy.
- Realize the damage caused by secrecy within adoption and the indispensable role of openness.
- Understand the emotional maze that reunions can present and how to manage challenging expectations and outcomes.
- Arm yourself with the knowledge to extend support to those on their epic journey of finding biological roots and reckoning with adoption.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
My special guest is Peter O'Brien
Todayâs guest on Unraveling Adoption is the fascinating Peter O'Brien. A late discovery adoptee, Peter's world was transformed in his mid-50s as he unearthed the secret of his adoption. Originating from Sydney, Australia, this retired accountant-turned-genealogist, leveraged his passion for family history to aid his personal awakening and understanding of his adoption journey. While his incredible story does have a twist of irony to it, it demonstrates Peter's resilience and strength in facing intriguing and often challenging revelations. His wisdom and experiences provide invaluable insights for those just discovering their adoption and grapplying with the multifaceted complexities.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Contact Peter directly: pmo2167@gmail.com
- Connect with the Post Adoption Resource Center in New South Wales for assistance and support in your own adoption journey: https://www.benevolent.org.au/services-and-programs/list-of-programs/post-adoption-resource-centre-nsw
- Listen to Unraveling Adoptionâs episode with DNA expert Julie Dixon Jackson: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/26761494
- If you are an adoptee, consider seeking counseling or therapy to process the emotions and complexities that may arise from learning about your adoption later in life. Here is a list of adoptee therapists in the US: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
- If you are an adoptive parent, educate yourself on the importance of open and honest communication with your child about their adoption story. Join APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption's Challenges: https://forms.gle/vD8mfJy3fJUDmCJe6
The Role of DNA Testing in Finding Relatives DNA testing has emerged as a crucial tool for adoptees seeking to uncover their genetic roots and find their biological families. For Peter, DNA genealogy was instrumental in locating his birth mother and unraveling the identity of his birth father. However, it's crucial to manage expectations when using DNA testing, as the results can sometimes lead to complex and challenging family dynamics like in Peter's case of finding out his birth father had abandoned both his families.
The Impact of Secrets in Adoption Adoption secrets can have profound implications on an adoptee's sense of self and their emotional well-being. The harm induced by such secrecy can be long-lasting, creating feelings of betrayal and resentment, as evidenced by Peter's experience. This key value underscores the importance of transparency in adoption, advocating for a shift from earlier practices of shrouding adoption in secrecy, towards a more open and supportive approach.
===============
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction and Background Host Beth Syverson introduces the podcast and guest Peter O'Brien, a late discovery adoptee. Peter shares that he found out he was adopted in his mid-50s and discusses his childhood, which was seemingly normal with loving parents. He mentions that adoption was not on his radar until he learned the truth. 00:04:16 - Discovery of Adoption Peter's mother, who had dementia, revealed to his sister that he was adopted while in a nursing home. His sister, unsure if he was aware, eventually told him the truth. Peter experienced conflicting emotions of anger and gratitude towards his parents for never telling him. 00:09:42 - Searching for Biological Family Peter quickly took action to find his birth mother after receiving basic information from the Post Adoption Resource Center. With his genealogy background, he located her within a few hours. Through an intermediary, he established contact and eventually met his birth mother, along with her siblings. 00:11:46 - Meeting Birth Mother Peter's initial meeting with his birth mother and her family was both lovely and traumatic. There were many people present, including Peter's wife, daughter, and sister. Although his birth mother was initially overwhelmed, they continued to stay in touch and develop a relationship. 00:12:16 - Continued Relationship Peter and his birth mother maintained regular contact through phone calls and visits. Despite living a few hours apart, they made efforts to see each other. 00:13:54 - The Connection with Birth Mother, The guest discusses how most adoptees are naturally gravitated towards their birth mother and recalls that his birth mother had a strong negative feeling towards his birth father even 55 years later. 00:14:20 - Challenges in Discovering Birth Father, The guest shares that his birth mother eventually developed dementia before he could press the issue further, and she passed away shortly after they met. He then explains how he took a DNA test to find his birth father but initially struggled to understand the results. 00:15:45 - Finding DNA Matches and Identifying Grandparents, The guest describes how he took a DNA test with Ancestry and eventually got better results and more helpful DNA matches. After researching his grandparents, he identifies a younger son who could potentially be his father and reaches out to his aunt and cousin for confirmation. 00:17:17 - Confirming Father's Identity, The guest explains how his cousin did a DNA test, which proved that they were first cousins, ultimately confirming the identity of his birth father. He reveals that his birth father had already passed away and had a complicated personal history, including abandoning his first family. 00:19:55 - Challenges in Building Relationships, The guest reflects on the difficulty of building relationships with his birth family, as they come from different backgrounds and have little in common apart from their DNA. He also shares that some family members were not receptive to forming a relationship, leading to strained connections. 00:27:43 - The Impact of DNA Genealogy for Adoptees, DNA genealogy provides a significant help to adoptees, especially those who find out about their adoption later in life. It takes a weight off their shoulders and allows them to navigate their new reality more easily. 00:29:24 - Unraveling Family Secrets through DNA Testing, DNA tests have revealed many family secrets, including cases where people discover that their supposed family tree is incorrect. Adoptees and others have found unexpected relatives and uncovered hidden truths through DNA matches. 00:30:05 - Changing Attitudes towards Adoption and Secrets, The societal attitudes towards adoption and secrets have been evolving. In the past, adoption was often shrouded in secrecy and shame. However, with the advancement of DNA testing and changing social norms, there is a growing emphasis on openness and honesty in adoption. 00:31:49 - Embracing the Possibility of Biological Family Connections, Adoptive parents and adoptees should see the discovery of biological family as an addition to their lives, rather than something that takes away from their existing relationships. It is important to approach reunions and connections with realistic expectations. 00:35:25 - The Emotional Complexity of Adoption Reunions, Reconnecting with biological family members can be emotionally complex. While some reunions are positive and fulfilling, others may be challenging or disappointing. Managing expectations and seeking support from adoption therapists can be helpful in navigating these reunions.
Reimagining Culture's Adoption Narratives with Gayle Swift "What our children need is our common ground, our empathy, our support. They need us to step into their lens and understand their pain and feelings."- Gayle Swift
What if the prevailing mindset surrounding adoption isn't as positive as we think? In this eye-opening conversation between Beth and adoption expert Gayle Swift, the US culture's (and churches') impact on adoption is challenged. It may cause you to question everything you thought you knew about adoption. Which adoption myths do you believe? And are you willing to view it differently - from an adoptees' perspective?
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Gain acknowledgment for an adoptee's biological heritage and interests, fostering a more comprehensive perspective about adoption.
- Uncover the concept known as the ghost kingdom and how it impacts adoptees, deepening your awareness of their inner world.
- Question the term 'Gotcha Day' and explore alternative ways to celebrate adoption, broadening your perspective on this pivotal event.
- Understand the immense influence the church has on adoption, and the growing need for enlightenment and support.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
My special guest is Gayle Swift
Gayle Swift is a compassionate and understanding advocate for adoption, armed with both personal experience and professional knowledge. Diagnosed with cancer at a young age which took away her ability to get pregnant, Gayle and her husband took the path of adoption, solidifying a decision they'd made earlier in life. Now, she's an author of three influential and insightful books focused on adoption for varying age groups. Her mission isnât confined to writing as she also co-founded 'Growing Intentional Families Together', a platform aimed at educating and supporting adoptive families. An adoptive parent herself, she shines a light on the intricate complexities of adoption, dispelling myths and encouraging a deep understanding.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Check out Gayle Swift's three books about adoption:
- ABC Adoption & Me (Revised and Reillustrated): A Multicultural Picture Book: https://www.amazon.com/ABC-Adoption-Revised-Reillustrated-Multicultural/dp/1733659749
- We're Adopted, So What? Teens Tell It Like It Is: https://www.amazon.com/Were-Adopted-So-What-Teens/dp/1733659714
-
Reimagining Adoption: What Adoptees Seek from Families and Faith: https://www.amazon.com/Reimagining-Adoption-Adoptees-Families-Faith-ebook/dp/B0847BBZHM
-
Explore Gayle Swift's organization, Growing Intentional Families Together, which offers coaching and support for families before and after adoption: https://giftfamilyservices.com/
- Listen to the podcast Essentials of Adoption Attuned Parenting by Gayle Swift's organization: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-essentials-for-adoption-attuned-parenting/id1177242730
- Reconsider the use of Gotcha Day celebrations and instead acknowledge the loss and gain of adoption in a more adoptee-centric way. Read Gayle's blog post about Gotcha Day: https://lavenderluz.com/dear-abby-gotcha/
Understanding the Impact of the Ghost Kingdom The concept of the 'Ghost Kingdom' refers to the emotional and psychological impact of the adoptee's separation from their birth families. This 'phantom pain' often gets overlooked due to the celebration of adoption. Gayle Swift suggests this trauma needs more recognition, and adoptive parents should be sensitive to the layered emotions their children might experience due to their complex histories.
Acknowledging Adoptees' Heritage and Interests To offer adoptees a healthy upbringing, it is vital to acknowledge their heritage and personal interests. Adoption should not mean erasure of their original identities or silencing their stories. Foster open discussions about their birth families and past, making them feel valued and heard, and consider their cultural and personal interests while making decisions about their upbringing.
===============
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:01:44 - Gayle's Adoption Story, Gayle shares her family's adoption story, how she chose adoption after infertility, and her initial understanding of adoption based on cultural presuppositions. She talks about the struggles she and her spouse faced as adoptive parents and the importance of understanding the complexities of adoption. 00:05:17 - Supporting Adopted Children, Beth and Gayle discuss the challenges of supporting adopted children and the importance of validating their experiences and acknowledging their birth families. They emphasize the need for adoptive parents to understand and appreciate their child's unique qualities and not denigrate their birth families. 00:08:52 - Understanding Adopted Children's Perspectives, Gayle talks about the concept of the "ghost kingdom," where adopted children have fantasies and thoughts about their birth parents. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing and exploring these thoughts with children to validate their experiences. 00:11:38 - Rethinking Metaphors and Celebrations, The conversation addresses the use of metaphors like puzzle pieces and the celebration of "Gotcha Day." They discuss the limitations and potential negative impacts of these metaphors and suggest alternative approaches to celebrating adoption. 00:13:47 - The Phantom Pain of Missing Families, The metaphor of phantom pain in missing limbs can also apply to the phantom pain of missing families in adoption. Celebrating adoption in a limited view may not do justice to the complex emotions and experiences of adopted children. It's important for parents to create an open and supportive space for their children to express their feelings. 00:14:41 - Celebrating Homecoming Day, Instead of focusing solely on adoption day, parents can celebrate Homecoming Day or Arrival Day as an opportunity to talk about the complex emotions surrounding adoption. This allows children to express their feelings and acknowledge the presence of both joy and sadness. It is important for parents to have welcoming body language during these conversations. 00:16:09 - The Gray Areas of Adoption, Children's books that depict adoption as purely positive fail to address the complexity of adoption. It is important to introduce the concept of gray areas to children from a young age, as life is rarely black and white. By encouraging open conversations about complex emotions, parents can lay the groundwork for future discussions during adolescence. 00:19:21 - Providing Empathy and Support, When adopted children express difficult emotions, it is crucial for parents to respond with empathy and support. Instead of dismissing their feelings or becoming emotionally overwhelmed, parents should create a safe space for their children to express their pain and offer understanding. This allows for a deeper connection and support between parent and child. 00:22:46 - The Need for Adoption Education, Adoption competency is so important for adoptive parents, plus teachers, ministers, and community members. 00:26:51 - Give Families Grace, Extended families should be given grace as they learn about adoption, but it is important that adoptive parents advocate for their adopted children. 00:27:34 - The Church's Impact on Adoption, The church has been a strong advocate for adoption but has not updated its understanding of adoption. The false belief that adoption is benign persists in many churches, and some even see adoption as a way to save souls. Education is crucial for the church to better serve adopted individuals. 00:29:31 - Reimagining Adoption in the Church, Gayle's book, Reimagining Adoption: What Adoptees Seek from Families and Faith, aims to educate the church about adoption complexity and the need to understand the seven core issues of adoption. The church should support both widows and orphans together, rather than separating them, and focus on preserving families instead of immediately suggesting adoption. 00:32:37 - The Trauma of Birth Mothers, Birth mothers often face vilification and judgment, both for their decision to place their child for adoption and for seeking to reconnect with their birth family later on. The church should acknowledge and address the trauma experienced by birth mothers and provide support and resources to help them keep their families together. 00:38:00 - Educating the Church Community, The church community, including pastors, elders, and citizens, needs to be reeducated about adoption and the negative fallout that can occur. Many adoptees and birth mothers may be hiding their experiences, and it is important to create a safe and understanding environment within the Church. 00:40:34 - The Beliefs and Presuppositions about Adoption, The conversation highlights the prevalence of pro-adoption beliefs in the Christian world. It discusses how these beliefs can lead to a biased perspective on adoption, overlooking the consequences of early maternal-child separation and minimizing the importance of a child's first family. 00:42:02 - Changing Mindsets in the Church and Culture, The guest emphasizes the need to challenge old mindsets in the church and society regarding adoption. Gayle and Beth discuss the importance of prioritizing the well-being of adoptees and recognizing that they had no choice in the matter. The goal is to create a safer and more loving environment for all involved. 00:43:30 - Aptitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents, The conversation introduces AP titude, a support group for adoptive parents facing adoption challenges. It distinguishes this group from others that solely celebrate adoption, focusing instead on addressing the difficulties adoptive families may encounter. The group aims to provide resources and a community for parents navigating these challenges. 00:44:30 - Patreon Account and Supporting the Podcast, Beth mentions the Unraveling Adoption Patreon account, explaining how it helps sustain the podcast by covering various expenses. They encourage listeners to contribute if they find value in the content and want to support the podcast's continuation. 00:45:38 - Gayle Swift's services, Gayle Swift's services as a coach and speaker are highlighted. She offers individual and family coaching, as well as group sessions. Gayle is available for various speaking engagements as well.
Challenging the Adoption System with Chester Jackson "The journey is more about being on the path more than off... The hardest part about being an adoptive parent is you're almost guaranteed to be disappointed because your motivation and your drive and everything you're thinking is involved around some fantasy child. It's not about that real human." -- Chester Jackson
Discovering the truth can be as exhilarating as it is terrifying. It can shatter the very foundation of your identity, leaving you scrambling to pick up the pieces. Chester Jackson's life seemed like a harmonious melody until a single piece of paper sent him spiraling into a world of unanswered questions and hidden secrets. Brace yourself as we delve into Chester's journey, where he unearths the unexpected twist that forever changed his life.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Delve deep into the complex world of adoption and how it affects the lives of adoptees.
- Understand the vital role clear and sincere communication plays in the harmony of an adopted family.
- Expose the latent issues and hidden incentives of adoptive parents, presenting possible solutions and benefits.
- Unravel the critical need for maintaining ties between adoptees and their birth heritage.
- Confront and overcome the hurdles and implicit prejudices sewn into the fabric of the adoption procedure.
My special guest is Chester Jackson
Meet Chester Jackson, a seasoned professional, with two decades worth of experience in the adoption sphere. His multifaceted perspective of adoption is born out of his own late discovery of being an adoptee and his role as an adoptive parent. Chester currently serves as the lifeline for many as the helpline coordinator at Adoptive Foster Family Coalition in New York, offering much needed counsel and support. Filled with both empathy and insights, Chester is known for his unwavering commitment to bettering the adoption system and all those it touches.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Visit the Adoptive Foster Family Coalition of New York (AFFCNY) website for more information about their services and resources: https://affcny.org/
- Call the AFFCNY Helpline that Chester supervises: 888-80-helpline
- Reach out to Beth Syverson for parent coaching if you are an adoptive parent: Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
- Consider seeking therapy or counseling to work through any adoption-related issues or emotions. Here's an adoptee therapist directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
Grasping Adoption's Real-life Consequences Fully understanding the real-life implications of adoption is crucial for adoptive parents. This insight stems from acknowledging that adoption not only involves taking a child into one's family but also carries lifelong emotional consequences for all parties involved. An improved grasp of these realities can help parents navigate adoption-related challenges and work towards fostering a healthy environment for their adopted children.
Preserving Links to Birth Heritage Maintaining connections to the child's birth heritage plays an essential part in the adoption journey. This notion is vital as it enables the adopted child to maintain a tangible link to their roots, which can greatly assist in the formation of their identity. Adoptive parents who understand and prioritize this facet can significantly contribute to their child's sense of belonging and self-awareness.
===============
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:01:06 - Chester's Adoption Story, Chester Jackson shares his experience as a late discovery adoptee (LDA). He explains that he found out he was adopted at age 33 and discusses how his adoption was a community agreement rather than a legal process. He also mentions his mixed feelings of relief and confusion upon learning the truth. 00:05:48 - Emotional Impact of Adoption, Chester discusses the emotional impact of adoption and how it affected his sense of self-worth. He highlights the importance of adoptive parents understanding and addressing their own emotions to provide a healthy environment for their children. 00:07:36 - Chester's Work in Adoption, Chester explains how he got involved in the adoption profession through a job opportunity. He reflects on how his work in adoption helped him understand his own adoption journey and the importance of supporting adoptive parents in addressing their own emotions. 00:09:58 - Broadening Perspectives in Adoption, Chester discusses how his perspective in adoption has broadened over time. He shares how his current role requires him to consider the perspectives of all parties involved in adoption and emphasizes the importance of openness and addressing emotions in adoption. 00:12:21 - The Importance of Parental Rights, The speaker emphasizes the importance of parental rights in the best interest of the child, even in cases of abuse. Adoption can be considered if necessary, but the focus should be on keeping families together whenever possible. 00:12:40 - Moral Adoption and Connections, While legal adoptions are common, there are also instances of "moral adoption" where there is no legal process, but individuals consider themselves connected to the child. The speaker notes the importance of maintaining strong connections between adoptive parents and birth parents. 00:13:30 - Lack of Support for Birth Parents, The speaker discusses the lack of support for birth parents in open adoptions. If birth parents show any signs of instability or make requests, they are often shut out. The speaker expresses disappointment in the lack of empathy and grace for birth parents in the adoption process. 00:14:09 - Lack of Legal Recourse for Birth Parents, Birth parents are often promised open adoptions with the ability to see their children, but there is no legal recourse to enforce these agreements. Birth parents are often vulnerable in the adoption process and have little protection. 00:16:15 - Challenges of Adoptive Parenting, Adoptive parents may have fantasies about their adopted child and can be disappointed when the reality doesn't match their expectations. The speaker emphasizes the need for adoptive parents to address their own challenges and seek therapy to navigate the complexities of adoptive parenting. 00:24:26 - Personal Growth and Family Systems, The guest reflects on their personal growth journey and how their relationship with their son has served as a catalyst for change. They discuss the challenges of estrangement and the importance of self-reflection in understanding one's role in the family system. 00:25:34 - Connecting with Your Child, The guest emphasizes the importance of connecting with your child, even if they are a stranger to you. They discuss the significance of non-verbal communication and the need for parents to create a sense of safety and connection for their children. 00:26:55 - Training and Support for Parents, The guest acknowledges that parents today are receiving more training and support from larger agencies, but highlights the need for society to have a fuller appreciation of the importance of parenting. They encourage parents to seek out support groups and resources to navigate the challenges of adoption and foster care. 00:28:46 - The Power of Repair, The guest emphasizes the importance of making repairs in relationships and apologizing to one's child when mistakes are made. They discuss the healing power of acknowledging and learning from past actions, and the significance of teaching children how to make repairs in their own relationships. 00:31:25 - The Helpline and Support Groups, The guest shares information about The Helpline (888-80-helpline), a resource provided by the coalition for adoptive and foster families. They encourage parents to seek support through support groups and highlight the value of being in a room with others who understand and empathize with their experiences 00:36:18 - Reasons for Bias in Adoption, The guest discusses the reasons for bias in adoption, including racism, sexism, and heteronormativity. He also mentions the societal belief that family is blood, which contributes to the negative perception of adoption. 00:37:21 - Lack of Support for Birth Families, The conversation highlights the lack of support for birth families in the adoption system. The guest argues that if society truly valued children and family, more efforts would be made to keep them in their family of origin. 00:38:29 - Difficulty for Birth Parents, The guest criticizes the foster system for making it extremely difficult for birth parents to regain custody of their children. He suggests that this may be due to societal biases and judgments towards birth parents. 00:39:23 - Finding Folk to Help, The guest emphasizes that there are plenty of people willing to help in the adoption system, but society needs to be honest about what they are asking these people to do. He calls for a shift in perspective and a recognition of the importance of birth families. 00:43:09 - Importance of Self-Reflection, The guest stresses the importance of self-reflection for adoptive parents. He believes that understanding one's own motivations and values is crucial for building a strong connection with their child. He also acknowledges the challenges and struggles that adoptees may face, but highlights the resilience and strength they possess. 00:48:31 - Accessing Information and Resources, The guest suggests visiting their website, affcny.org, to access a wealth of information, join their network, and find inspiring and educational events. 00:48:47 - Support for Adoptive Parents, The host mentions her website, unravelingadoption.com, where she offers a free support group for adoptive parents and parent coaching services. 00:49:13 - Supporting the Podcast, The host mentions that listeners can support the show on Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption to help keep the episodes commercial-free. 00:49:32 - Sharing the Episode, The host encourages listeners to share the episode, especially with hopeful adoptive parents and those considering fostering, as it contains valuable information and insights.
Investigating Adoption's Fault Lines with Birth Mother Lorraine Dusky "Women today realize that giving up a child entails much more angst and long-term grief, and there's so many issues involved." - Lorraine Dusky
An intrepid birth mother from the 1960s who faced disapproval and secrecy now fights for adoptee rights. Lorraine Dusky shares her personal journey and advocates for change in the complex world of adoption.
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Discover the profound influence of genetics and culture on adoptees, helping you to cultivate more empathy and understanding.
- Unmask society's secrecy and shame shrouded around the adoption, and move towards less judgment and increased acceptance.
- Understand the pressing need for empathy, delicacy and openness in discussions about adoption, thereby bringing about a transformative change in perception.
- Unpack the complex narrative of adoption rights and laws, sharpening your understanding and capacity for advocacy.
My special guest is Lorraine Dusky
We present to you Lorraine Dusky; an audacious journalist, an intrepid adoptee rights advocate, and a birth mother who traversed through adoption's thorny path in the 1960s. Lorraine had the courage to be the first person to publicly admit her child's relinquishment for adoption. Her bold stand sparked off fierce controversies, yet she relentlessly continues to champion for adoptees' rights. Her recently released 2nd edition of her memoir, Hole in My Heart: Love and Loss in the Fault Lines of Adoption, offers a raw account of her life journey, encapsulating the tempest of emotions that unfolded before and after her daughter's relinquishment.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Purchase Lorraine Dusky's memoir, Hole in My Heart: Love and Loss in the Fault Lines of Adoption to gain insight into her personal story and experiences related to adoption: https://www.amazon.com/Hole-My-Heart-memoir-adoption/dp/0692455930
- First Mother Forum: Where first/birth/natural/real mothers share news & opinions. And vent: https://www.firstmotherforum.com/
Challenging Adoption Attitudes and Perceptions
Adoption is supposed to be seen as a lifetime experience reaching beyond the birth moment while impacting all involved. Lorraine Dusky's discussion centers around her book, Hole in My Heart, a candid memoir about her complex choices as a birth mother. From her experience, she hopes to challenge prevailing attitudes towards adoption by depicting her role in all its complexities, and not just as a woman who got pregnant. Lorraine also extends consideration to natural mothers, whose voice need to be heard and respected, thus stirring intellectuals, legislators, and the general public to rethink perceptions tied to adoption.
The Impact of Secrecy and Shame
The decision to place a child for adoption often comes with a load of shame and secrecy, a burden many birth mothers carry silently for years. This emotional tax leaves them stuck between their painful past and a hope-filled future. However, facing their fears, naming their experiences, and seeking forgiveness from their children are significant steps towards emotional freedom. Speaking from her personal experience, Lorraine Dusky unveils her years of bearing the heavy load of secrecy and shame. She kept her baby's adoption a secret for years, going as far as lying about ever being pregnant. But in the long run, she decided to face her fears and advocate for adoptee rights. Navigating her way through her struggles, disapproval, and community gossip, she pushed through with the help of her supportive mother. Her journey offers a beacon of hope to other birth mothers navigating the labyrinth of guilt, secrecy, and societal pressure.
===============
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
Timestamped summary of this episode:
00:01:41 - Lorraine's Professional Trajectory,
Lorraine talks about her desire to be a newspaper reporter and her early career in journalism. She shares her disappointment in initially being placed in the women's department but eventually getting a job as a feature writer. She then discusses how she fell in love with a co-worker and became pregnant.
00:05:44 - Discovering the Pregnancy and Birth Control Pills,
Lorraine shares that she didn't realize she was pregnant until she was four months along because the early pregnancy test came back negative. She discusses how she had been taking birth control pills during her pregnancy and believes they may have contributed to her daughter's epilepsy.
00:08:07 - Choices and Adoption,
Lorraine recounts her attempts to get an abortion, which was illegal at the time. She eventually realizes that adoption is her only option and discusses the emotional turmoil she felt about giving up her baby. Lorraine also mentions that nowadays, fewer women choose adoption as an alternative to parenting.
00:12:50 - The Reality of Giving Up a Baby,
Lorraine explains the language around adoption and how it often portrays it as a well-thought-out plan. She emphasizes that in her experience and the experiences of many women today, giving up a baby is not analogous to "making an adoption plan."
00:14:13 - The Challenges of Being a Serious Writer and Reporter,
Lorraine discusses how she didn't want to be seen as a "kooky reporter" and the financial struggles she faced early in her career. She also talks about how her partner, Patrick, supported her during her pregnancy.
00:15:34 - Secrets and Conflicts,
Lorraine shares the story of her relationship with Patrick, revealing that he left his wife but eventually went back to her. She also talks about keeping her pregnancy a secret and the difficult decision to tell her mother.
00:16:31 - Openness and Acceptance,
Lorraine recounts the moment she told her mother about her pregnancy and her plans to be public about it. She expresses her gratitude for her mother's support and understanding.
00:18:48 - Fighting for Adoptee Rights,
Lorraine explains her motivation for fighting for adoptee rights, including the desire for her own daughter to find her one day. She discusses the criticism she faced and the changing attitudes of adoptive parents.
00:22:01 - The Battle for Open Records,
Lorraine discusses the challenges of changing adoption laws, specifically focusing on California's sealed records. She emphasizes the importance of adoptees having access to their original birth certificates and the need for a unified front among birth mothers, adoptees, and adoptive parents.
00:28:22 - Moving to China and Food Culture,
A friend of the guest moved to China with her daughter, who immediately adapted to the local food culture. The conversation also highlights how adoptees often have a strong connection to the food from their birth culture.
00:29:42 - Impact of Adoption on Genes and Culture,
The host reflects on the significance of genetics and culture in adoptive families. She attended a conference where adoptees and donor-conceived individuals discussed the critical loss of being separated from their genes. The reunion with birth family can be complex and may not necessarily solve all issues.
00:30:32 - Possibility of Finding Birth Parents,
The host mentions that there is a possibility for her adopted son to find his birth mother, but he is not currently interested due to personal struggles. The idea of a reunion is considered, but it is acknowledged that it can add more complexities to his life.
00:34:57 - Importance of Open Adoption Communication,
The host emphasizes the importance of open adoption communication. She advises adoptive parents to create a safe space for their children to discuss adoption. Adoptees think about their adoption even if they don't bring it up, and it's crucial for them to feel comfortable discussing it.
00:39:23 - The Impact of Patriarchy on Adoption,
The conversation delves into how adoption would look different if women had true equality in society. The sealing of adoption records and the difficulty in accessing birth information is discussed.
00:42:34 - Changing the Attitude About Adoption,
Lorraine Dusky discusses her mission to change the perception of adoption and create a better world for adopted individuals. She hopes her book, Hole in My Heart, will be read by a wide audience and emphasizes the importance of understanding how adoption affects everyone involved.
00:43:21 - The Voice of Natural Mothers,
Beth expresses appreciation for Lorraine Dusky's book and the way it portrays her as a whole person with dreams and goals. She emphasizes the need for the voices of natural mothers to be heard and for adoptive parents and adoptees to understand the impact of adoption on everyone.
00:44:20 - Collaboration and Spreading Awareness,
The host expresses her desire to collaborate with Lorraine Dusky in the future and suggests sharing the book with birth mothers who may find solace in its contents. She encourages the audience to spread the word about the book and increase awareness of the complexities of adoption.
Reevaluating Beliefs and Exposing Racism in Evangelical Christianity with Harrison Mooney Growing up in an evangelical family, Harrison Mooney's life seemed like a carefully crafted script of faith and devotion. But beneath the surface, there was an unexpected twist that would send him spiraling into a world of self-discovery. As the only black child in a white family, Harrison's struggle to fit in took a toll on his soul. Little did he know, the very foundations of his beloved religion would come crashing down, revealing a shocking truth that would forever change his perception of faith and race. This is a story of a journey, a journey filled with unexpected twists and turns, and the power of unraveling the tangled threads of identity and belief.
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Grasp the unique hardships and narratives of transracial adoptees.
- Investigate the intersection of religion and race, recognizing the profound influence that the evangelical Christian church (especially) exerted on racial identity.
- Understand the paramount importance of representation in literature in uplifting and authenticating marginalized communities.
- Uncover the significance and emotional intricacies in adoptees' pursuit to seek and connect with their birth families.
- Realize the crucial role adoptive parents play in affirming and supporting their children's exploration of identity and history.
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
My special guest is Harrison Mooney
Stepping into our conversation today is journalist and adoptee, Harrison Mooney. Born and raised in Abbottville, British Columbia by a deeply religious white adoptive family, Harrison brings a unique perspective on the intersection of faith, race and adoption. His childhood mirrored his mother's, an immigrant who experienced displacement and the ensuing struggle to belong. With a writing career that encompasses renowned publications such as The Vancouver Sun and The Guardian, Harrison's exploration of his own narrative has touched hearts globally. His memoir Invisible Boy: A Memoir of Self-Discovery masterfully weaves together profound introspection and raw realism, offering a stark yet sympathetic perspective on his personal journey.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Read Harrison Mooney's award-winning memoir, Invisible Boy, to gain a deeper understanding of his adoption story and the complexities of adoption: https://www.amazon.com/Invisible-Boy-Memoir-Self-Discovery-Truth/dp/1586423460
- Connect with Harrison on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/picturesofharrison/
- Email Harrison at: HarrisonMooney@gmail.com
Awakening to the Inconsistencies
Harrison's 'awakening' moment came during a college course on the transatlantic slave trade. It shattered his trust in his religious upbringing and sparked a reevaluation of the ideologies he had internalized. It was an awakening to the realities of racial oppression perpetuated by the church and the white nationalism entwined with his faith. His journey highlights the importance of questioning the narratives we've been taught and critically examining our inherited beliefs.
Religious Upbringing and Belonging
Religion, at times, can both be the cause of unity and discord. It holds the power to bring people together under a common belief system, creating a sense of shared belonging. Yet, it also has the potential to marginalize those who challenge its views, fostering an 'us against them' mentality that can deeply impact one's sense of personal identity and self-worth. In his conversation with Beth, Harrison delves into the profound influence of his family's religious beliefs on his life. His upbringing in an evangelical church, he says, wasn't merely an aspect of his life, but it was his life. Harrowing instances like the use of biblical interpretations to justify slavery, and the realization of the church's entanglement with racism, forced him to reevaluate the faith he'd grown up with. The conversation brings to the fore the complicated ties between religion, identity, and belonging.
===============
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
Timestamped summary of this episode:
00:01:06 - Harrison's Writing Style and Humor,
Beth praises Harrison's writing style and humor in his memoir. Harrison explains that humor was a way for him to cope with the nonsense of his childhood, and now he can look back and laugh at it.
00:04:06 - Birth Mom's Story and Displacement,
Harrison shares that his birth mom, an immigrant from Ghana, was separated from her family and experienced displacement. He draws parallels between his experience as an adoptee and her experience as an immigrant who lost her family.
00:06:31 - Simplified Adoption Story,
Harrison discusses the simplified version of his adoption story that he was told by his adoptive family. He was led to believe that his adoptive parents prayed for a baby and God gave him to them. He later discovers there is more to the story.
00:07:30 - Differential Treatment and Feeling Different,
Harrison explains that he was treated differently as the only black child in his adoptive family. He shares a story of being accused of arrogance and how no one acknowledged the racial element of the situation. This differential treatment affected his sense of belonging and identity.
00:13:59 - Understanding Double Consciousness,
The speaker discusses the concept of double consciousness, where one has a sense of self and a sense of how others perceive them. This is particularly relevant for adoptees who constantly feel the pressure to belong and often have to perform or tone down aspects of their identity.
00:14:49 - Religious Upbringing and Belonging,
Harrison talks about their religious upbringing in a radical Christian family. He describes the intense religious activities he was involved in and the pressure to conform. He also mentions the challenges of being a black adoptee in a white family and the connection between religion and their sense of belonging.
00:17:16 - Choosing Religiosity to Belong,
Harrison explains why he chose to embrace his family's religion despite the challenges. He was influenced by his older brother's rebellious path and the severe consequences he faced. He felt that rejecting religion would leave him completely alone and without a family.
00:18:23 - Awakening to the Inconsistencies,
In college, the speaker started questioning his beliefs due to new knowledge about the history of slavery and the Bible. He learned about the Ham doctrine, which was used to justify slavery and black inferiority. This realization made it difficult for him to continue following the religious teachings he had been taught.
00:22:02 - Evangelical Christianity and Racism,
Harrison discusses how evangelical Christianity often serves as a vehicle for white nationalism and racism.
00:27:31 - The Importance of Representation,
The guest discusses the importance of representation in literature and shares his personal experience of feeling validated and seen through diverse voices and stories.
00:29:51 - Estrangement from Adoptive Family,
Harrison reveals that their relationship with their adoptive family has been strained since the release of their book and discusses his emotional preparedness for the estrangement.
00:32:01 - Maintaining a Bond with Siblings,
The guest shares that he still has a bond with his older brother, although the rest of their adoptive family is estranged. He expresses his hope that someday he may hear from someone in his adoptive family.
00:34:10 - The Impact of the Memoir,
Harrison discusses his intentions behind writing his memoir and the potential impact it could have on the relationship between adoptees and their adoptive families. He emphasizes the importance of having conversations about adoption and acknowledging its complexities.
00:35:16 - Challenging Transracial Adoption,
The guest expresses his belief that transracial adoption is fundamentally problematic due to historical oppression and the theft of resources. He argues that adoptive parents should focus on supporting their child's exploration of their heritage and identity.
00:41:40 - The Importance of Genetic Mirroring,
Harrison discusses the term "genetic mirroring" and its significance in seeing oneself reflected in the world. Seeing one's own genetic traits is vital for adoptees, but not all have the opportunity. Harrison emphasizes the importance of reunion and encourages adoptees to explore their history.
00:42:12 - Reunion and Grief,
Harrison shares the bittersweet experience of finding and reconnecting with his birth mother, who unfortunately passed away due to leukemia. Despite the grief, Harrison finds solace in knowing that he had the chance to know and be known by his birth mother.
00:43:30 - Cherished Moments,
Harrison recalls a special moment with his birth mother before her passing, where she lovingly advised him about taking care of his hair. This intimate moment reminds him of the concrete connection he had with her and the importance of preserving memories.
00:44:30 - Missed Opportunities,
If Harrison had waited any longer to search for his birth mother, he would have missed the chance to meet her. He expresses gratitude for not delaying the reunion and encourages others to take similar actions to avoid missed opportunities.
00:46:12 - Adopt Whole Families,
Harrison suggests a solution to the adoption system by advocating for the adoption of whole families instead of separating babies from their birth parents. He reflects on how his life would have been different if his birth mother had been taken in and supported alongside him.
Coming Out of the Fog with Melissa Brunetti "As an adoptee, you want to be wanted. I thought, well, shoot, if I don't take this guy, I don't know if anyone else is going to come along." - Melissa Brunetti
Even though Melissa was an adoptee with a FABULOUS adoptive family, she realized that she was "in the fog" of adoption trauma in mid-life. In this episode, we delve into Melissa's heart-wrenching quest to unravel the mysteries of who she is, her traumatic relinquishment and reunion story, and her healing path.
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Engage with a firsthand account elevating an adult adoptee's voice
- Appreciate the empowering role of support networks within the adoption community.
- Delve into the intriguing, sometimes challenging quest for personal identity.
- Grasp how novel healing modalities can bolster adoptees' emotional resilience.
My special guest is Melissa Brunetti
Melissa Brunetti hails from the heart of California, where she not only navigates the complexities of life as a domestic adoptee but also helps others on their paths as well. Having once navigated the societal expectations to perfection - marriage, children and career included - Melissa had hit a rather low point around her 40th birthday and realized there was more to life than just ticking boxes. This realization transformed her life and she has been sharing her valuable insights on her podcast 'Mind Your Own Karma the Adoption Chronicles'. Additionally, Melissa's leadership contributions at Fireside Adoptees have been commendable as she continues to spread awareness around the intricacies of adoption.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Check out Melissa's podcast, Mind Your Own Karma the Adoption Chronicles, to hear more stories and insights related to adoption: https://www.mindyourownkarma.com/
- Visit Fireside Adoptees to learn more about the work that Melissa is doing on their leadership team: https://www.facebook.com/fireside.adoptees.and.allies
- Watch the Fireside adoptees constellation roundtable hosted by Melissa, featuring a birth parent, an adoptive parent (Beth Syverson, this podcast's host) and an adoptee, to gain perspectives from different members of the adoption constellation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7NP310pCVA&t=3224s
- Listen to the episode of Melissa's podcast where Beth Syverson was a guest, discussing the adoptive parent's perspective: https://www.mindyourownkarma.com/podcast/episode/25330945/s2e47-adoptive-parent-beth-syverson-what-every-adoptive-parent-should-know
Other Resources:
- APtitude: A Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption's Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Unraveling Adoption is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome
www.SafeHomeFamilies.com
===============
Unique experiences of adoptees -
Each adoption journey is unique, with adoptees experiencing a distinctive mix of emotions, challenges, and triumphs. Understanding these distinctive experiences helps to demystify the complex realities of adoption and raises awareness of the varied perspectives within the adoption community. Appreciating these individual journeys fosters empathy and validation, which are crucial for the emotional well-being of adoptees.
Mutual support and validation -
The universal need for support and validation is amplified in the adoption community. Adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents all benefit from shared experiences and collective understanding. By fostering an environment of empathy, encouragement, and mutual respect, adoptees can better navigate their unique circumstances, validate their experiences, and find solidarity within the adoption community.
Timestamped summary of this episode:
00:01:11 - Melissa's Adoption Story,
Melissa shares her adoption story, explaining that she was born in the Baby Scoop Era and was placed in foster care before being adopted at ten weeks old. Despite having great adoptive parents, Melissa struggled with self-esteem and unhappiness throughout her life.
00:05:45 - Positive Adoption Experience,
Melissa expresses her gratitude for having wonderful adoptive parents who supported her. However, she still felt the effects of adoption, such as fear and a loss of identity. She also discusses her health issues and how her mother believes the adoption agency failed to disclose them.
00:08:13 - Losing Herself,
Melissa reflects on how she always did what was expected of her, never considering her own wants and needs. She shares that she latched onto the first person who wanted her and eventually married him. However, she became increasingly unhappy and lost touch with her true self.
00:09:41 - Coming Out of the Fog,
Melissa discusses her mental and physical health decline, which led to feelings of anxiety and suicidal thoughts. After hitting rock bottom, she decided to fight her way back to herself and start living a more authentic life. She also mentions her current relationship and the growth she has experienced
00:12:56 - Initial Rejection and Reunion,
Melissa discusses her initial reaction to her birth mother giving her a book about adoption and the subsequent reunion with her birth mother. She shares her feelings of anger and confusion, as well as the challenges of navigating a new relationship with her birth mother while maintaining her strong bond with her adoptive mother.
00:14:28 - Challenging Expectations and Secondary Rejection,
Melissa explores the expectations her birth mother had for their relationship and how they differed from her own expectations. She shares her experience of receiving a letter from her birth mother ending their relationship and the feelings of personal rejection and sadness that followed.
00:16:01 - Lack of Adoption Resources and Guidance,
Melissa reflects on the lack of resources and support she had during her adoption journey, including not knowing about the concept of the "primal wound" or the impact it could have on her. She also discusses the common societal belief that having great adoptive parents automatically guarantees a happy and fulfilled life.
00:17:27 - Other Birth Relatives and Limited Connections,
Melissa shares that she is in touch with some of her birth siblings, but had limited connection with her biological father before he passed away. She discusses the surface-level nature of their relationship and the challenges of building deeper connections with birth relatives.
00:18:55 - Discovering the Adoption Community and Pivoting the Podcast,
Melissa reveals that she only recently discovered the adoption community and the different perspectives within the adoption triad.
00:25:45 - Creating a Safe Space on Fireside,
Melissa shares how Fireside provides a safe space for adoptees to share their stories, vent, and discuss various topics. The platform allows for anonymity and flexibility, fostering a sense of community and support for adoptees.
00:26:11 - Empowering Adoptees' Voices,
Melissa expresses the importance of adoptees having a voice without fear of rejection or abandonment. Being able to freely express oneself and have autonomy is crucial for their well-being and personal growth.
00:27:06 - The Journey to Self-Consultation,
Melissa reflects on the wish to have known that self-consultation and self-expression were valid and acceptable at a younger age. Overcoming the fear of displeasing others and prioritizing one's own needs is a common struggle for adoptees, particularly women.
00:28:18 - Authenticity and Relationships,
Melissa shares her personal experience of being authentic and facing resistance from her son during her divorce. Despite initially straining their relationship, her son eventually came to accept and understand her decision to prioritize her own well-being.
00:29:28 - Healing in Adoption,
Melissa discusses her focus on the healing aspect of adoption and her plans to pursue somatic hypnosis training. She believes that traditional therapy may not fully address the unique needs of adoptees and aims to provide alternative approaches to support their healing journey.
A Transgender Birthmom's Complex Journey with Jack MacCarthy Amidst the backdrop of their conservative upbringing, Jack's path of self-discovery and acceptance unfolds, revealing the profound impact of a chance encounter with a queer girl at a Catholic youth group retreat. From exploring gender through the lens of art to navigating the complexities of their identity within the adoption community, Jack's story is a testament to resilience and the power of embracing one's true self. What unique challenges await a trans and/or non-binary birth parent? How can we best support LGBTQ+ people within the adoption community in general? Stay tuned to discover the chapters of Jack's remarkable tale for the first time in an adoption-specific context on this episode of Unraveling Adoption podcast.
âI think what is difficult about words, labels, boxes, is trying to find the balance between too open and too closed. So a word has to, almost by definition, exclude something in order to have any meaning. But you also don't want people who are feeling resonance with that word to be left out, even if they don't necessarily fit the "definition" of it perfectly. And definitions are a slippery concept anyway because words really just mean how people use them.â - Jack MacCarthy
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
My special guest is Jack MacCarthy
Jack MacCarthy is a compelling artist with a background rooted in theater â both as a writer and performer. Jack has always looked to push boundaries and challenge societal norms. Even before recognizing himself as transgender, his works have often explored gender, creating an impact that his personal journey would later radiate. A founder of a theater company in New York, he juggled financial struggles with a zeal for creativity and self-discovery. A decade ago, he navigated the complexities of becoming a birth parent and choosing adoption, leading to unique insights into parenthood, identity, and the intersection of both.
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Illuminate the significance of LGBTQ representation (or lack thereof) within the adoption community,
- Recognize the distinctive hurdles specific to trans/non-binary birth parents,
- Navigate the tangled intricacies of the adoption system, and their impact on birth parents, no matter their gender
- Explore support structures for trans and non-binary children and their families,
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Visit Jack MacCarthy's website to learn more about his work as a writer, performer, and professional queer: jackmaccarthy.com
- Read Jack's Kindle original, "My Boy, Their Son": https://www.amazon.com/Boy-Their-Son-Kindle-Single-ebook/dp/B07P2VXK1M
- Read Jack's Buzzfeed article about his rainbow family: https://www.buzzfeed.com/mariahmaccarthy/my-rainbow-family#.ogEooLpEGV
- Read Jack's YA Novel Squad: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9780374307509
- Learn more about the Outwords Archive, an oral history project collecting the stories of LGBTQ+ elders: https://theoutwordsarchive.org/
- Find support through these organizations:
- PFLAG: https://pflag.org/
- Pride and Joy Foundation: https://www.prideandjoyfoundation.com/
- Gender Spectrum: https://genderspectrum.org/
- LGBTQ+ adoption agency, Chosen Family Law Center: https://chosenfamilylawcenter.org/
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
Challenges for Trans and Non-Binary Birth Parents
Trans and non-binary birth parents, like Jack, navigate unique hurdles within the adoption system. These challenges can range from alienation in birth parent support networks due to lack of understanding of gender identities, all the way to systemic socio-economic issues that contribute to the decision for adoption. To address these concerns, it is essential to establish safe and accepting spaces that respect diverse gender expressions, and work towards systemic changes that reduce financial and emotional burdens on these birth parents.
Timestamped summary of this episode:
00:01:42 - Background and Theater,
Beth asks Jack about his background and theater experience. Jack shares that they are a writer and performer and that theater was a place where they explored gender before exploring it in real life.
00:05:20 - Family Acceptance,
Jack discusses their family life, which was Catholic and conservative but supportive of artistry. They mention having a gay uncle and a gay friend in high school, but not openly discussing these identities.
00:07:12 - LGBTQ Community in College,
Jack talks about their college experience and how they encountered more LGBTQ individuals, especially in the theater program. Many of their peers have since come out as trans or non-binary.
00:12:16 - Unexpected Pregnancy and Adoption,
Jack shares that their pregnancy was a complete surprise and that they decided on adoption due to financial circumstances and their career aspirations. They clarify that they are pro-choice but personally chose not to have an abortion.
00:16:24 - Jack's Choice to Place their Child for Adoption,
Jack consciously chose adoption and was not coerced. They don't feel manipulated by the adoption agency. Their decision was based on their life circumstances and the belief that it was the best option at the time.
00:17:10 - Open Adoption and Relationship with the Adoptive Parents,
Jack has an open adoption and maintains a connection with their son, seeing him once a month. They chose the adoptive couple from a book of profiles. Jack feels it was meant to be and has a good relationship with them, as they have common interests and a queer identity.
00:18:53 - Choosing the Gay Couple as Adoptive Parents,
The adoptive parents were chosen by Jack from a binder of profiles. Jack felt a connection and a sense of fate when their profile was dropped off just as Jack was looking at families. They have found it to be a good choice overall.
00:21:23 - Challenges in Birth Mother and Adoptive Mother Relationships,
Jack discusses the potential for competition and resentment between birth mothers and adoptive mothers, especially in relation to societal expectations of motherhood. Jack feels fortunate not to have experienced these difficulties in their relationship with the adoptive parents.
00:23:08 - Jack's Transition and Relationship with their Son,
Jack shares that the adoptive parents took time to adjust to Jack's transition, but they are accepting and supportive. Their son has also adapted well, though there have been some challenges with name and pronouns.
00:31:19 - LGBTQ Birth Parents and Adoption,
The guest discusses the lack of consideration given to birth parents, especially if they are LGBTQ, in the adoption process. Queer individuals tend to romanticize the idea of adopting a child without fully understanding the emotional toll it takes on birth parents.
00:32:29 - Rebuilding After Relinquishing,
The guest shares her personal experience of relinquishing her son and the emotional aftermath. She emphasizes that the process of rebuilding oneself after such an experience is incredibly challenging and not something she would recommend lightly.
00:33:43 - Cynicism Towards Adoption System,
Beth and Jack expresses some cynicism towards the adoption system, particularly its tendency to take children from financially disadvantaged parents and place them with wealthier individuals. They suggests providing financial support to birth parents could be a more compassionate approach.
00:34:27 - Supporting Trans and Non-binary Children,
The guest offers advice to parents, grandparents, or individuals who may have a trans or non-binary child coming out to them. She encourages them to view it as a gift and to do their own research and seek support from organizations like PFLAG and the Pride and Joy Foundation.
00:35:42 - LGBTQ Resources and Queer Family Making,
The guest recommends several LGBTQ resources, including the Outwards Archive, Gender Spectrum, and the Chosen Family Law Center. She also mentions her own book, Squad, and Kindle Original, My Boy, Their Son, as additional sources of information.
A Transgender Birthmom's Complex Journey with Jack MacCarthy Amidst the backdrop of their conservative upbringing, Jack's path of self-discovery and acceptance unfolds, revealing the profound impact of a chance encounter with a queer girl at a Catholic youth group retreat. From exploring gender through the lens of art to navigating the complexities of their identity within the adoption community, Jack's story is a testament to resilience and the power of embracing one's true self. What unique challenges await a trans and/or non-binary birth parent? How can we best support LGBTQ+ people within the adoption community in general? Stay tuned to discover the chapters of Jack's remarkable tale for the first time in an adoption-specific context on this episode of Unraveling Adoption podcast.
âI think what is difficult about words, labels, boxes, is trying to find the balance between too open and too closed. So a word has to, almost by definition, exclude something in order to have any meaning. But you also don't want people who are feeling resonance with that word to be left out, even if they don't necessarily fit the "definition" of it perfectly. And definitions are a slippery concept anyway because words really just mean how people use them.â - Jack MacCarthy
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
My special guest is Jack MacCarthy
Jack MacCarthy is a compelling artist with a background rooted in theater â both as a writer and performer. Jack has always looked to push boundaries and challenge societal norms. Even before recognizing himself as transgender, his works have often explored gender, creating an impact that his personal journey would later radiate. A founder of a theater company in New York, he juggled financial struggles with a zeal for creativity and self-discovery. A decade ago, he navigated the complexities of becoming a birth parent and choosing adoption, leading to unique insights into parenthood, identity, and the intersection of both.
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Illuminate the significance of LGBTQ representation (or lack thereof) within the adoption community,
- Recognize the distinctive hurdles specific to trans/non-binary birth parents,
- Navigate the tangled intricacies of the adoption system, and their impact on birth parents, no matter their gender
- Explore support structures for trans and non-binary children and their families,
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Visit Jack MacCarthy's website to learn more about his work as a writer, performer, and professional queer: jackmaccarthy.com
- Read Jack's Kindle original, "My Boy, Their Son": https://www.amazon.com/Boy-Their-Son-Kindle-Single-ebook/dp/B07P2VXK1M
- Read Jack's Buzzfeed article about his rainbow family: https://www.buzzfeed.com/mariahmaccarthy/my-rainbow-family#.ogEooLpEGV
- Read Jack's YA Novel Squad: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9780374307509
- Learn more about the Outwords Archive, an oral history project collecting the stories of LGBTQ+ elders: https://theoutwordsarchive.org/
- Find support through these organizations:
- PFLAG: https://pflag.org/
- Pride and Joy Foundation: https://www.prideandjoyfoundation.com/
- Gender Spectrum: https://genderspectrum.org/
- LGBTQ+ adoption agency, Chosen Family Law Center: https://chosenfamilylawcenter.org/
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
Challenges for Trans and Non-Binary Birth Parents
Trans and non-binary birth parents, like Jack, navigate unique hurdles within the adoption system. These challenges can range from alienation in birth parent support networks due to lack of understanding of gender identities, all the way to systemic socio-economic issues that contribute to the decision for adoption. To address these concerns, it is essential to establish safe and accepting spaces that respect diverse gender expressions, and work towards systemic changes that reduce financial and emotional burdens on these birth parents.
Timestamped summary of this episode:
00:01:42 - Background and Theater,
Beth asks Jack about his background and theater experience. Jack shares that they are a writer and performer and that theater was a place where they explored gender before exploring it in real life.
00:05:20 - Family Acceptance,
Jack discusses their family life, which was Catholic and conservative but supportive of artistry. They mention having a gay uncle and a gay friend in high school, but not openly discussing these identities.
00:07:12 - LGBTQ Community in College,
Jack talks about their college experience and how they encountered more LGBTQ individuals, especially in the theater program. Many of their peers have since come out as trans or non-binary.
00:12:16 - Unexpected Pregnancy and Adoption,
Jack shares that their pregnancy was a complete surprise and that they decided on adoption due to financial circumstances and their career aspirations. They clarify that they are pro-choice but personally chose not to have an abortion.
00:16:24 - Jack's Choice to Place their Child for Adoption,
Jack consciously chose adoption and was not coerced. They don't feel manipulated by the adoption agency. Their decision was based on their life circumstances and the belief that it was the best option at the time.
00:17:10 - Open Adoption and Relationship with the Adoptive Parents,
Jack has an open adoption and maintains a connection with their son, seeing him once a month. They chose the adoptive couple from a book of profiles. Jack feels it was meant to be and has a good relationship with them, as they have common interests and a queer identity.
00:18:53 - Choosing the Gay Couple as Adoptive Parents,
The adoptive parents were chosen by Jack from a binder of profiles. Jack felt a connection and a sense of fate when their profile was dropped off just as Jack was looking at families. They have found it to be a good choice overall.
00:21:23 - Challenges in Birth Mother and Adoptive Mother Relationships,
Jack discusses the potential for competition and resentment between birth mothers and adoptive mothers, especially in relation to societal expectations of motherhood. Jack feels fortunate not to have experienced these difficulties in their relationship with the adoptive parents.
00:23:08 - Jack's Transition and Relationship with their Son,
Jack shares that the adoptive parents took time to adjust to Jack's transition, but they are accepting and supportive. Their son has also adapted well, though there have been some challenges with name and pronouns.
00:31:19 - LGBTQ Birth Parents and Adoption,
The guest discusses the lack of consideration given to birth parents, especially if they are LGBTQ, in the adoption process. Queer individuals tend to romanticize the idea of adopting a child without fully understanding the emotional toll it takes on birth parents.
00:32:29 - Rebuilding After Relinquishing,
The guest shares her personal experience of relinquishing her son and the emotional aftermath. She emphasizes that the process of rebuilding oneself after such an experience is incredibly challenging and not something she would recommend lightly.
00:33:43 - Cynicism Towards Adoption System,
Beth and Jack expresses some cynicism towards the adoption system, particularly its tendency to take children from financially disadvantaged parents and place them with wealthier individuals. They suggests providing financial support to birth parents could be a more compassionate approach.
00:34:27 - Supporting Trans and Non-binary Children,
The guest offers advice to parents, grandparents, or individuals who may have a trans or non-binary child coming out to them. She encourages them to view it as a gift and to do their own research and seek support from organizations like PFLAG and the Pride and Joy Foundation.
00:35:42 - LGBTQ Resources and Queer Family Making,
The guest recommends several LGBTQ resources, including the Outwards Archive, Gender Spectrum, and the Chosen Family Law Center. She also mentions her own book, Squad, and Kindle Original, My Boy, Their Son, as additional sources of information.
Breaking the Cycle: Addressing the Needs of Foster Children - Jenell Jones "Love isn't enough. We can't just love these kids out of the abuse and neglect." - Jenell Jones
Jenell Jones, a mother of seven, had faced her fair share of challenges as a foster and adoptive parent. But when she welcomed eight-year-old Mercy into her family, little did she know the unexpected twists that awaited her. As she unraveled the undisclosed severe mental health issues that plagued Mercy, Jenell was thrown into a world of overwhelming obstacles. This gripping journey will leave you questioning the foster care system's ability to provide comprehensive support for vulnerable children like Mercy.
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Explore the labyrinth of trials faced by parents adopting from the foster care system.
- Highlight the chinks in the mental health armature causing a dearth of understanding and support.
- Appreciate the significance of clear disclosure in the convolutions of the adoption process.
- Comprehend the deep-seated impact of trauma and mental health issues on those in the system.
- Discover the critical need for all-encompassing support measures for past foster children.
My special guest is Jenell Jones
Introducing Jenell Jones - a remarkable woman who's deftly maneuvered the complex realities of parenting seven children, including two adopted ones. Her unique parenting journey led her to write Shattered, a memoir that recounts her family's moving story around her youngest adopted child, Mercy. Having traversed 21 foster placements and with undisclosed mental health challenges, Mercy's narrative opened Jenell's eyes to the triumphs and trials of foster care and adoption. As an advocate for foster and adoptive parents, Jenell wants to empower others navigating a similar journey, letting them know that they are not alone.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Read Jenell Jones' memoir Shattered to gain a deeper understanding of the joys and challenges of parenting traumatized children: https://www.amazon.com/Shattered-Jenell-M-Jones-M-Ed/dp/B0BWSCKZS6
- Seek out resources and support networks for foster and adoptive parents, such as support groups, therapy, and educational programs. Join our APtitude support group for adoptive and foster parents here: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Connect with Jenell through her website: JenellJones.com
Need for Change and Support
We need a system overhaul, with comprehensive support systems, more resources, and changes in policies. The profound impact of trauma on children, as well as their families, highlights the urgency to reform current practices. Reflecting on her experiences, Jenell Jones firmly believes change is necessary. She stresses the need for conversation about systemic faults and for a range of stakeholders to come together for a holistic solution. Advocating for a more robust support system, Jenell's experiences serve as a clear calling for change.
===============
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
Timestamped summary of this episode:
00:00:00 - Introduction,
Beth Syverson introduces the podcast episode and the guest, Jenell Jones, a mother of seven kids, including two adopted children. They discuss Jenell's memoir, Shattered, which aims to help foster and adoptive parents understand the challenges of parenting traumatized children.
00:01:15 - Life Before Mercy,
Beth and Jenell talk about Jenell's family before adopting Mercy. With a large family and routines in place, they were navigating through life with their other children who were getting older.
00:02:23 - The Decision to Foster and Adopt Mercy,
Jenell shares that she initially didn't want to add to her family, but after meeting a little girl at church, she and her husband decided to bring her in. They didn't expect the challenges that would come with adopting an 8-year-old with undisclosed serious mental health issues.
00:05:16 - Undisclosed History and Separation,
Jenell reveals that the foster agency and state knew Mercy's complete history, including 21 foster placements and a twin brother who was separated from her. However, this information was not disclosed to Jenell and her family, causing them to navigate through Mercy's issues without the necessary knowledge and support.
00:08:56 - Nondisclosure and the Impact on the Family,
The lack of disclosure regarding Mercy's extensive abuse and mental health issues had a significant impact on Jenell family.
00:14:45 - Frustration with Lack of Understanding,
The guest and host discuss their experiences with mental health issues in their children and express frustration with professionals who lack knowledge and understanding about trauma and attachment.
00:16:30 - Lack of Advocacy for Children,
The conversation highlights the limited information and lack of advocates for children in the system, preventing the truth from coming out and hindering meaningful change.
00:18:03 - Growing Problems in the System,
The guest discusses the alarming statistics of foster children ending up in prison or homeless and emphasizes the need to address the problems within the system.
00:20:33 - Importance of Having Difficult Conversations,
The host and guest stress the importance of having open and honest conversations about the challenges faced by foster and adoptive children, and the need for real solutions and resources.
00:22:43 - Need for Change and Support,
The conversation emphasizes the need for resources and support for adoptive and foster families, especially for the other children in the home who may also be traumatized. The guest shares her hope for change and the importance of prioritizing the well-being of these children.
00:29:11 - The Importance of Love and Self-Care
Love and unconditional care are essential for children in the foster care system, but it's also crucial for foster parents to practice self-care and seek therapy to cope with the challenges. The goal is to make a positive impact on the child's life and society.
00:30:00 - The Motive Behind Foster Parenting
Foster parenting should not be driven by monetary gain. While love is necessary, it's not enough to heal children from abuse and neglect. Foster parents need to be prepared for a challenging journey and fight for the child's dignity and worth.
00:31:24 - Recognizing the Seriousness of Foster Parenting
Foster parenting is not a casual part-time job. It requires a commitment to fight for the child's well-being and navigate complex systems. Lives are at stake, and it's not a task for the faint of heart.
00:32:20 - The Limitations of State Insurance for Foster Children
State insurance often fails to cover the necessary therapeutic interventions for foster children. The lack of funding for deep therapy and attachment therapy can hinder a child's progress and limit their potential for healing.
00:35:11 - Trusting Your Gut and Advocating for Foster Children
Foster parents should trust their instincts and seek professional help when they notice red flags or concerning behaviors in their foster children. It's crucial to keep communication open and continue telling their stories until they find someone who listens and understands.
The Lifelong Impact of Adoption with Michael Grenfell "When we receive or find new information, we have to then reorient ourselves with that information, with a new foundation or a new guidepost. It's deep identity structure stuff that we're continually renegotiating all the time throughout this journey." - Michael Grenfell In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, guest Michael Grenfell opens up about the profound impact of adoption on identity. As he shares his experiences, the complexities of navigating family dynamics and the lasting effects of adoption are unveiled. But just when it seems like resolution is within reach, conflict erupts within the family, leaving Michael in a precarious situation with no clear path forward. Tune in to discover how this adoptee's journey unfolds and the resilience he displays in the face of adversity.
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Comprehend the critical part fathers take on in the adoption narrative,
- Probe into the complexities confronting adoptees in their quest to locate their birth parents,
- Discern how adoption imprints on an adoptee's sense of identity and self-understanding,
- See the necessity of candid dialogue and trust within adoptive families,
- Realize the power of DNA testing in an adoptee's expedition to find their biological kin.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
My special guest is Michael Grenfell
You'll appreciate hearing from Michael Grenfell, an adoptee from the Baby Scoop Era in 1971, and a dedicated advocate for adoption transparency. Hailing from Sydney, Australia, Michael has navigated through the winding paths of his adoption journey and has come out the other side more self-aware and empowered. A celebrated author of poetry and crime fiction, Michael uses the written word to express his experiences and emotions and is currently working on sharing his story in memoir form. His focus on the importance of both his adoptive and natural fathers - and his own experience as a father - serves as a refreshing perspective in the adoption discussion.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Attend the screening of Reckoning with A Primal Wound, the film by Rebecca Autumn Sansom on Saturday, July 29, 2023 at 7pm PST. Tickets can be purchased at reckoningoc.eventbrite.com. Join the screening either in person in Orange County or online via Zoom. Both spaces are limited, so secure your tickets today.
- Connect with Michael:
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/grenfellmichael
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaellikestowrite/
-
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaellikestowrite/
-
Check out Michael Grenfell's poetry, crime fiction, and memoir. The poem he presents in this episode, "Goodbye! Hello?" appears in this anthology: https://www.westwords.com.au/project/living-stories-2022-things-unsaid/
- More of Michael's writing can be found in the Autumn and Winter 2023 Post Adoption Resource Newsletters. These can be found at https://www.benevolent.org.au/services-and-programs/post-adoption-services/information-and-resources
- In Australia, check out:
- Post Adoption Resource Center: https://www.benevolent.org.au/services-and-programs/list-of-programs/post-adoption-resource-centre-nsw
-
Adoptee Rights Australia: https://adopteerightsaustralia.org.au/
-
Authors Michael and Beth mentioned:
- Dr. Gabor MatĂŠ: https://drgabormate.com/
- Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk: https://www.besselvanderkolk.com/
- Dr. Stephen Porges: https://www.stephenporges.com/
Identity and Parenting
The impacts of adoption on identity and parenting are extensive and deeply ingrained. The adoption experience often dictates how a person perceives themselves and reflects on their parenting style. Parents who are adoptees might employ a protective parenting approach, influenced by their earlier experiences of rejection and strife. Michael's testament sheds light on how his adoption journey influenced his role as a father. His deep-seated fear of rejection initially pushed him towards hyper-vigilance over his children. However, over time, he encouraged their independence and fortified their sense of self-worth. He admitted to his initial helicopter parenting approach, a testament to how oneâs adoption background might shape parental instincts.
===============
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
Timestamped summary of this episode:
00:00:00 - Screening of "Reckoning with A Primal Wound",
Beth announces a screening of the film "Reckoning with A Primal Wound" and invites listeners to attend in person or online. The filmmaker, Rebecca Autumn Sansom, will be present at the event.
00:01:25 - Introduction to Guest Michael Grenfell,
Beth introduces Michael Grenfell, a domestic adoptee from the Baby Scoop era. Michael has always known he was adopted and is now an advocate for adoption transparency, especially with the availability of DNA testing.
00:04:38 - Early Years and Recognition of Difference,
Michael shares that he was adopted at three and a half years old after spending the first five and a half months of his life in the NICU. He recalls feeling different from his adoptive parents and the confusion and pain of not knowing his biological family.
00:08:00 - Identity and Parenting,
Michael discusses the lasting effects of feeling different and the impact it had on his identity. He shares that having his own children helped him recognize the depth of the genetic connection and the absence of that reflection in his own life.
00:11:30 - Search for Birth Family,
Michael waited until he was independent from his adoptive parents before initiating the search for his birth family. He obtained non-identifying information in the early 1990s and took a long while to process the information.
00:13:34 - Adoption and Blended Families,
Michael compares adoption to a blended family, emphasizing the importance of considering the child's needs and background. The adoption process has changed over the years, but it is crucial for adoptive parents and the community to acknowledge the child's identity and history.
00:14:59 - Contacting Birth Parents,
Michael shares his experience of contacting his birth mother over the phone. Despite finding her contact information through Ancestry, she initially denied having a son and later revealed that she believed he had died due to being born prematurely.
00:19:15 - Searching for Birth Father,
Michael attempts to find his birth father but faces obstacles due to confidentiality and the potential legal consequences of making contact. The process involves searching for the name provided in the adoption records and obtaining putative father details.
00:20:50 - DNA Revelation,
Michael decides to do a DNA test and discovers numerous matches, including first cousins and aunties on his father's side. This revelation contradicts his mother's claim that the named person on the adoption records was not his father, revealing a hidden truth.
00:24:38 - Connecting with Biological Family,
Michael navigates the complexities of connecting with his newfound biological family, including nine siblings and numerous cousins. The sudden influx of family contact, primarily through social media, creates challenges in managing these relationships and establishing his own identity within the family.
00:26:18 - The Ultimatum,
The guest recounts how his relayed information about his biological father led to an ultimatum from his father's wife. She demanded that he only communicate with them and not with any other family members.
00:26:45 - Communication Barriers,
The guest reveals that his biological father could only communicate through his wife, and they did not want him to talk to the siblings and cousins. This created a difficult situation and strained family relationships.
00:28:00 - Dissipating Conflict,
The guest believed that the conflict would naturally dissipate over time, as most people contacting him would eventually go back to their everyday lives. However, his father's wife and sisters closed all communication, except for one sister who still maintains a good relationship with him.
00:29:00 - The Importance of One,
The guest expresses gratitude for the one sister who continues to communicate with him and emphasizes the importance of having at least one person who supports and understands him.
00:30:07 - Impact on Parenting,
The guest admits that his experiences of rejection and deceit in adoption affected his parenting. However, he has tried to emphasize to his daughters the importance of sticking to their boundaries and valuing themselves. He reflects on the personal growth he has undergone to create a positive environment for his daughters.
00:31:11 - Adoption's Core Impact,
The guest discusses how adoption cuts to the core of a person's identity
00:40:09 - Apologies for Child Migrants and Sex Abuse,
The conversation explores the apologies made by the the Australian government for adoptees, child migrants, and sex abuse within institutions. These apologies highlight the mistreatment and institutionalization of children. The majority of the population may not be aware of forced adoption and its impact on individuals and families.
00:41:12 - Language and the Invalidating of Experiences,
The conversation discusses how the term "forced adoption" is now being used in cases where children are removed for reasons such as mental health or drug use. This dilutes the meaning of the term and invalidates the experiences of women who have been advocating for their rights for decades.
00:42:16 - The Power of Writing and Poetry,
The guest shares how writing, particularly poetry, has helped him process his experiences and convey the complexities of adoption. Writing allows for a better understanding of the self and helps illustrate the emotional depth of the journey. -
00:43:45 - Family Themes in Popular Media,
The conversation explores how family themes, such as the loss or search for family members, are prevalent in popular media, including books, movies, and TV shows. This reflects the universal recognition of the importance of family and the impact of family-related stories in society.
00:47:24 - Coping Tools for Adoptees,
The guest shares various coping tools that have helped him navigate the challenges of adoption. These tools include meditation and body work such as massage or physiotherapy.
00:55:30 - Website and Adoptive Parent Group,
The host shares the website of Unraveling Adoption, which is unravelingadoption.com. She also mentions an adoptive parent group called Aptitude and invites adoptive or foster parents to join and face adoption's challenges together.
How To Be an Anti-Racist in Adoptive Families with Lanise Antoine Shelley "It's vital to feel a sense of connectivity to your name, to your environment, and to the people that you choose to love." - Lanise Antoine Shelley
If you're an adoptee who's feeling a constant sense of disconnection and confusion as you try to fit into a world that doesn't fully understand or appreciate your unique transracial adoptee experience, then you are not alone! Many adoptees may find themselves struggling to navigate their identity, grasping at societal norms and expectations that do not align with their true selves. Despite their efforts to assimilate, they may still face rejection, ignorance, and a persistent feeling of being othered. This painful reality often leads to a deep yearning for acceptance and a strong desire to reclaim their authentic identity, free from the confines of societal expectations.
And if you're an adoptive parent in an interracial or intercultural adoption, open your heart up to some possibly uncomfortable but extremely important truths about race in this episode.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Deconstruct the dominant narratives in adoption and evaluate their impact on the adoptee community.
- Learn about the significance of adoptive parent education in cultivating a nurturing environment for adoptees, especially interracial or intercountry adoptees.
- Embark on a journey of self-recognition and celebration of identity as a transracial adoptee.
- Gain tools to become an anti-racist and make a big difference in your family and/or community.
- Understand the importance of the feedback channel from adoptees, ensuring a conscious and accountable parenting approach.
My special guest is Lanise Antoine Shelley
From the vibrant landscapes of Haiti to California's suburban tapestry, Lanise Antoine Shelley's journey transcends geographical boundaries and cultural transitions. Engrossed in the world of arts as a skilled actor, director, and painter, she deftly weaves her personal narrative of adoption into her work. Born in Saint Michel, Haiti, and transracially adopted in the USA, Lanise's intimate narrative strikes a chord with every adoptee struggling to reconcile their adoptive and biological identities. As the host of the podcast 'When They Were Young," she's amplifying adoptee voices and highlighting the importance of reclaiming one's identity. Her unique insights and empathetic approach provide an indispensable resource for transracial adoptees searching for belonging, and for adoptive parents who are open to learning new tools.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Connect with Lanise and access the resources at her website: www.laniseantoineshelley.com
- Check out the podcast "When They Were Young: Amplifying Voices of Adoptees" hosted by Lanise Antoine Shelley for more insights and stories from adoptees: https://www.laniseantoineshelley.com/podcast
- Connect with Lanise on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/youngadoptee/
- Hear a podcast episode about the Enneagram and adoption: https://theadoptionconnection.com/episode-85/
- Access practical guides on black hair care and transracial adoption by Isaac Edder. Get 15% off by visiting the show notes of Lanise's podcast: https://www.laniseantoineshelley.com/podcast/episode/7b0cc622/ep-58-isaac-etter-founding-identity-to-equip-parents-and-empower-children
- Consider the impact of the better life narrative in adoption and challenge the assumption that adoption automatically provides a better life for the child. Hear Angela Tucker's " The Adoptee Next Door" episode on this topic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01TNSVVan4Q
- Check out the classes for transracial families at Adoption Mosaic: https://www.adoptionmosaic.com/
- Look up resources from Dr. Chaitra Wirta-Leiker, transracial adoptee, psychologist, and author: https://growbeyondwords.com/
- Find an adoption therapist through Dr. Wirta-Leiker's Adoptee Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
- Read How To Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi: https://www.ibramxkendi.com/how-to-be-an-antiracist
- Read White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk about Racism by Robin Diangelo: https://bookshop.org/p/books/white-fragility-why-it-s-so-hard-for-white-people-to-talk-about-racism-robin-diangelo/9008090?ean=9780807047415
- Watch the documentary Rabbit-Proof Fence: https://www.amazon.com/Rabbit-Proof-Fence-Ningali-Lawford/dp/B009ZM76J2
Other resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
Connecting with Haitian Culture
The journey of embracing and reclaiming one's cultural identity is a foundational aspect of personal development, especially for transracial adoptees. These individuals often face a complex maze of cultural identities, one related to their biological family's heritage and another to their adoptive family. Recognising, understanding, and enhancing this unique cultural blend is crucial for an adoptee's sense of personal identity and self-awareness. In that light, Lanise opens up about her journey to embrace her blackness and reconnect with her Haitian roots. Despite growing up in a predominantly white community, she only encountered fellow black individuals as friends once she reached middle school. It wasn't until college that she began to consciously immerse herself among proud and educated Black individuals, a step that spurred her self-love for her skin, heritage and identity. Her story can inspire listeners to seek connections with their ethnicities and passionately embrace their cultural diversity.
The Origins of Antiracism in Adoption
Over the years, the adoption community has embraced the concept of antiracism. This perspective involves actively identifying and opposing racism in all its forms, whether systemic or individual. This stance is not about passively avoiding discrimination but actively working to dismantle it wherever it is encountered. However, understanding the roots of racism in adoption and its historical context is a crucial part of sensitively navigating this subject. Lanise shares a startling revelation that the system of adoption was fundamentally designed to uphold white supremacy, with roots in ethnocentric imperialism and colonialism. By referring to films like Rabbit-Proof Fence, she elaborates on how children from suppressed communities were forcibly taken away in efforts to dilute their culture and blend them into the dominant white society. This realistic portrayal served as a stark reminder of the power imbalances and exploitations in history, which subtly continue to affect the adoption ecosystem today.
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
Timestamped summary of this episode:
00:01:30 - Lanise's Adoption Story,
Lanise shares her adoption story as an intercountry transracial adoptee from Haiti. She talks about being adopted by a missionary in Haiti and growing up in a predominantly white community in California. She also discusses the importance of reclaiming her name and embracing her blackness in college.
00:05:04 - Connecting with African Culture,
Lanise talks about her connection with African cultures and traditions, including her deep involvement in African dance. She shares her experiences visiting Senegal and feeling a sense of belonging with African people.
00:07:28 - Holding Adoptive Parents Accountable,
Lanise discusses the importance of adoptees holding their adoptive parents accountable for any missteps or lack of support during their adoption and upbringing. She emphasizes the need for adoptive parents to acknowledge the grief and trauma adoptees experience.
00:09:51 - The Better Life Narrative and Adoption Realities,
Lanise challenges the "better life" narrative in adoption and highlights the realities that many adoptees face, including abuse, neglect, and racism. She urges for more awareness and support for adoptees' experiences and struggles.
00:17:04 - The Limiting Belief of the Better Life Narrative
The guest discusses how the "better life" narrative in adoption does not support the adoptee or the birth family, but only encourages the adoptive parent. This mindset commodifies the adoptee and can be seen as a form of human trafficking.
00:18:30 - Healing Modalities and Therapy for Adoptees
The guest shares her healing modalities, such as meditation, yoga, and holistic living, as well as the importance of therapy. Finding a therapist who is a black interracial adoptee has been instrumental in her healing journey.
00:19:52 - Parenting and Continuing the Relationship with the Adoptee
The conversation emphasizes the importance of ongoing work and a deeper, intimate connection between adoptive parents and their adult adoptees. Parents should continue to be present and supportive, understanding that they are not entitled to intimacy with their child.
00:26:11 - Challenges of Transracial Adoption
The guest highlights the need for adoptive parents to offer overt support and engage in conversations about race and racism. The experience of transracial adoptees is vastly different, and parents should prioritize their child's sense of belonging rather than asking them to fit in.
00:32:16 - Taking Action and Being Proactive in Antiracism
The conversation emphasizes the importance of being proactive in antiracism, rather than just passively supporting from the sidelines. White parents of transracially adopted children have a responsibility to initiate conversations,
00:34:21 - The Origins of Antiracism in Adoption,
Lanise discusses the proactive and essential nature of antiracism in the adoption constellation, noting that adoption was historically built to support the supremacy of white people. She mentions the dark history of missionarianism and ethnic cleansing in indigenous communities, emphasizing the need to engage in antiracism to better understand the system.
00:36:07 - The Dark History of Adoption,
Lanise highlights the dark history of adoption, particularly in relation to the genocide of the Aborigines in Australia. She describes how the British systematically bred out the aboriginal gene by abducting children and placing them in concentration camps to be "civilized." This history sheds light on the problematic origins of adoption.
00:38:04 - Challenging Binary Narratives,
Lanise addresses the black and white narrative often associated with adoption, emphasizing that it is not a binary issue. She encourages listeners to embrace the paradoxes and hard truths of adoption, while also acknowledging the potential for growth and deeper understanding within adoptive families.
00:39:39 - Reflecting on Triggers and Reactions,
Lanise advises those who may feel triggered or angry by the conversation to take a deep breath and recognize that no one is attacking them. She emphasizes that her intention is to educate and amplify adoptees' stories, urging individuals to honestly examine their reactions and consider their own identities and perspectives.
00:43:22 - The Gift of Growth,
Lanise and Beth discuss the opportunity to receive gigantic gifts through these interpersonal challenges around race and adoption. When viewed from the perspective of wanting adoptees to have the best lives possible, non-adoptees will be more open to digging in to these difficult topics with them.
Navigating Adoption's Complexities as an Adoptee and an Adoptive Parent with Damon Davis In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, guest Damon Davis shares his personal journey both as an adoptee and as an adoptive parent, shedding light on the complexities and challenges faced by adoptees and their families. Don't miss this gripping episode that explores the highs and lows of adoption and the power of resilience.
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Traverse the paths of Damon's adoption experiences, acknowledging the multifaceted complexities entwined.
- Champion adoptive children's yearning for their biological lineage with supportive parents.
- Encounter the unique difficulties that adoptive parents face while ensuring stability and managing attachment disorders in adopted children.
- Recognize a tremendous call for specialized mental health resources targeted at the distinctive needs of adoptees.
===========
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===========
My special guest is Damon Davis
Damon Davis walks the twin paths of adoption and biology, he affords listeners an enlightening perspective on adoption. His narration brings to life his personal triumphs and trials, from being an adoptee to being a dedicated father of two adopted and one biological child. Check out his memoir and his podcast, both titled 'Who Am I, Really?'
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
-
Listen to Damon Davis' podcast Who Am I Really? on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast platform: Https://www.whoamireallypodcast.com
-
Purchase Damon Davis' memoir Who Am I, Really? on Amazon or at your local bookstore: https://amzn.to/3XExart
Strengthened Bond and Improved Well-being for Adoptive Families
Every adoptive family yearns to nurture a strong bond with their child and foster an environment conducive to well-being. It's a delicate balance that encompasses accepting and loving the child for who they are and providing specialized support uniquely suited to their circumstances. Adoptive parents play a critical role in helping children adapt and thrive in their new family unit. This involves understanding the unique dynamics of parenting, creating an environment where open communication can thrive, and being adaptable to individual needs. When we hear Damon Davis talk about his adoptive parenting story, we see how his personal journey and insights significantly contribute to this process. He emphatically shares his understanding of the importance of accepting children for who they are whether they are biological or adopted. Damon recognizes that both genetics and time spent together can forge special bonds, but every parenting situation comes with its own unique dynamics and challenges that need continuous learning and adaptive strategies.
Adoption and Trauma
Adoption, while being an avenue to create families, is also an experience that often starts with adversity and trauma. The underlying adversities could range from loss, abandonment, abuse, or neglect that both the birth parents and adoptive parents may experience. Itâs crucial for adoptive parents to understand these underlying traumas and help the adopted child navigate these complex emotions with compassion and patience. We get a glimpse of this understanding when we hear Damon Davis recognizing the complexities of adoption. He mentions that adoption often emerges from a place of adversity, both for birth parents and adoptive parents. His acknowledgment of these challenges and the need for addressing any past traumas provides tangible advice for adoptive parents navigating the path.
===========
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===========
Timestamped summary of this episode:
00:00:00 - Introduction,
Beth Syverson introduces the podcast and her guest, Damon Davis, a domestic same-race adoptee and a parent of both a biological child and two adoptive children. They discuss the purpose of the podcast and their commitment to helping anyone touched by adoption.
00:02:02 - Damon's Adoption Story,
Damon shares a brief overview of his adoption story, growing up in a same-race adoption in Maryland. He talks about his decision to search for his biological mother after the birth of his son and the joyous reunion he had with her.
00:04:12 - Surprise Reunion,
Damon shares the incredible story of how he surprised his birth mother at her workplace, only two blocks away from his own office. They had a beautiful initial connection and were able to develop a close relationship over the years.
00:09:27 - Different Adoption Reunion Experiences,
Damon discusses the varying experiences of adoptees when it comes to reunion. He explains that while his own reunion was positive, many adoptees face rejection or difficult reunions. He emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and understanding these different experiences.
00:11:07 - Finding His Biological Father,
Damon shares his experience of finally tracking down his biological father after his birth mother's passing. He describes the lack of rapport and connection he felt with the man he met, but acknowledges the importance of at least trying to find him.
00:13:03 - Shocking Discovery,
The guest, Damon Davis, shares his experience of discovering his biological father through a DNA test. He reveals that the person turned out to have more genetic similarity to him than his own son.
00:14:25 - Emotional Reunion,
Damon locates his birth father, Bill, and met him in Las Vegas. The reunion WAs heartwarming and emotional, with even Damon's son realizing the significance of the meeting.
00:15:48 - Family History,
Damon learns that both his birth father and birth mother have delved into genealogy, and they provide him with a detailed family history dating back to the days of slavery in the United States. He expresses gratitude for the rich ancestral information.
00:18:29 - Varied Adoption Experiences,
Damon discusses the varied experiences of adoptees and the importance of recognizing the challenges and desires they face. He emphasizes the need for adoptive parents to support their children's exploration of their biological roots.
00:23:00 - Supporting Adoptees,
Damon urges adoptive parents to be supportive of their children's desire to learn about their biological families. He encourages open communication, acknowledging any insecurities, and being willing to help facilitate the search process. He emphasizes the importance of not letting personal feelings hinder the adoptee's journey.
00:26:49 - Background and Upbringing,
The guest shares about his adoptive children's background, including their bouncing around from place to place and their journey from the Caribbean to the United States. He also discusses the challenges they faced due to attachment disorders and the need for structure in their lives.
00:27:46 - Sending the Son Away,
The guest sent his son away to military school, which unintentionally conveyed the message that he couldn't stay with the family. Although the structure provided by the school was beneficial for his son, it was a difficult decision that had a profound impact on their relationship.
00:29:21 - Emergency Situations and Therapy,
The guest reflects on the chaotic nature of dealing with his children's challenges and the necessity of sending them to wilderness camps and residential treatment centers at times. He acknowledges the need for specialized therapy or interventions for adoptees but notes the lack of resources and support available.
00:30:53 - Adoption and Trauma,
The guest discusses the high representation of adoptees in wilderness and residential treatment centers, highlighting the trauma, attachment issues, and acting out behaviors that often underlie their struggles. He emphasizes the importance of understanding the "what happened to you" question rather than focusing on what is wrong with them.
00:35:18 - Challenges and Tough Decisions,
The guest shares the current struggles his adopted children are facing, with one being homeless and the other making poor decisions that have hindered her progress.
00:41:00 - Understanding the Experience of Adopted Children,
Children who are adopted at a later age can communicate their needs directly, unlike those who are adopted as infants. The experience of bringing in an older adopted child to one's family is different due to the previous trauma and chaos involved in their first family, plus the maternal separation. The bond between a birth mother and child starts in the womb and adoptive parents should understand and respect this.
00:42:14 - Natural Parents vs. Adoptive Parents,
The term "natural parents" is sometimes preferred by birth parents, as it acknowledges the role they played beyond just giving birth. Adoptive parents cannot be considered "natural" as they did not give birth. This distinction does not create a hierarchy, but rather recognizes the different roles each parent plays.
00:43:32 - Acknowledging Adoptive Parents' Trauma,
Adoptive parents should acknowledge their own trauma, including their upbringing and any attachment issues they may have. Being open and honest with the child about their adoption is crucial, as secrets can be toxic and lead to further trauma. There is no perfect time to share this information, so it should be done from day one.
00:44:48 - Importance of Openness and Honesty,
Adoptive parents should prioritize open and honest communication with their children. Sharing their story, even if it's an ugly one, helps create a bond and allows the child to understand their own history. There is no specific moment that will feel right, so it's important to make the time to have these conversations.
Brainspotting in Adoption Therapy Does this sound familiar? You've been told to simply provide love and support to your adopted child, but despite your best efforts, they still struggle with emotional trauma. Or maybe you're an adult adoptee and struggling with ongoing distress from your relinquishment. The pain of watching your child - or yourself - suffer and feeling helpless can be overwhelming. But there is hope. In this episode, we explore the power of Brainspotting as a therapy for trauma in the adoption constellation. By understanding the critical role of support structures, nurturing openness and connection, and mastering emotion regulation strategies, adoptive parents can help support their child's emotional healing. And adult adoptees can access this same healing for themselves with the help of a trained therapist. Join us to learn more and take a big step forward in your healing journey.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Understand the undisputed importance and benefits of thorough education and adoptee-centered support for adoptive parents.
- Become aware of the life-changing impact of nurturing openness and connection in the adoption continuum for the adopteesâ wellbeing.
- Explore the intricacies of Brainspotting, specifically tailoring its application for trauma management in the adoption space.
- Master the art of regulating and balancing emotions for both adoptees and adoptive parents.
- Step into the world of therapy, appreciating the sanctuary it provides for both adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents.
My special guest is Brooke Randolph
Meet Brooke Randolph, a captivating blend of therapist, author, speaker, and trainer who brings her own hands-on adoption experience to the table. In adopting her first son from Samoa in 2013, Brooke truly embraced and navigated the complexities of adoption. Her work is informed by her personal experiences, plus she enriches it with a groundbreaking healing approach called Brainspotting. Brooke is a passionate advocate for therapy excellence and training, openness in adoption, and family preservation.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Look up Brooke's website: https://brooke-randolph.com/
- Check out Brooke Randolph's book, It's Not About You: Understanding Adoptee Search, Reunion & Open Adoption: https://amzn.to/3Jz4mdX
- Find out more about Brooke's humanitarian work in Oceania: https://brooke-randolph.com/humanitarian-trainings-in-oceania/
- Here's Brooke's group practice with a list of their Brainspotting therapists: https://www.greenhouseindy.com/brainspotting
- Here's a list of Brooke's favorite books about adoption: https://amzn.to/3pnJDmA
- Read one of Brooke's latest blog posts, "Why Brainspotting for Adoption Therapy: 4 Foundational Elements": https://brooke-randolph.com/blog/why-brainspotting-adoption-therapy-4-foundational-elements/
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption's Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
Adoption Support Group for Parents
Adoptive parents often grapple with unique challenges throughout their adoption journey. Joining a support group can provide an avenue to share experiences, seek guidance, and gain emotional support. This helps parents better understand their child and provide them the emotional support they need. Beth, the host of Unraveling Adoption, recognized the importance of such support, founded 'APtitude', a support group that provides resources to adoptive parents. During their conversation, she shares how APtitude offers resources, a private Facebook community for adoptive parents, and a book club to facilitate the sharing of experiences and provision of support. It's an effective and safe container for parents to navigate their unique journey of adoption.
Timestamped summary of this episode:
00:00:00 - Introduction,
Host Beth Syverson introduces the podcast and welcomes guest Brooke Randolph, an adoptive mom, therapist, author, speaker, and trainer. They discuss their commitment to helping those affected by adoption and promoting excellence in therapy, openness in adoption, and family preservation.
00:02:09 - Brooke's Adoption Story,
Brooke shares her adoption journey, including working at an international adoption agency and adopting her son from Samoa in 2013. She discusses the benefits of open intercountry adoption and how she intentionally created an open relationship with her son's biological family.
00:07:06 - The Importance of Openness in Adoption,
Brooke emphasizes the importance of openness and information in adoption, providing adoptees with a solid foundation of their identity, and answering their questions. She stresses that withholding information can damage relationships and lead to distrust.
00:09:28 - "It's Not About You",
Brooke discusses the title of her book, It's Not About You: Understanding Adoptee Search, Reunion, and Open Adoption, and emphasizes that adoptive parents need to get out of their own way and prioritize their child's needs over their own. She also discusses the concept of co-regulation and the importance of attachment figures in regulating emotions.
00:14:57 - Importance of Regulation and Felt Safety
Finding one's own regulation is crucial to avoiding complications in a situation. It is essential to focus on felt safety and attachment to help kids feel safe enough to process trauma. Beth and Brooke discuss the importance of parents' goals not overtaking children's goals and how behavior is just a symptom of something else.
00:17:33 - Working with Adoptive Parents and Kids
Beth and Brooke discuss the dynamics of working with adoptive parents and kids. Brooke emphasizes the importance of helping the child determine their goals and focusing on those in therapy. She also mentions that while parents may come in with their own goals, their child's behavior is a symptom of something else, and the focus should be on helping the child feel safe enough to process trauma.
00:19:19 - Felt Safety and Brainspotting
Brooke explains that felt safety is feeling safe, not necessarily being safe, and it differs from person to person. She also discusses Brainspotting, a brain-body mindfulness-based therapy that utilizes a fixed eye position to increase access to the issue or pain. Brooke mentions that Brainspotting is an intuitive and flexible therapeutic modality that allows clients to feel seen and individuated.
00:23:51 - Brainspotting and Eye Position
Brooke explains that Brainspotting is a relational therapy that identifies and follows the client's lead, allowing for individualized sessions. Eye position affects how people feel, and finding a fixed eye position that increases or decreases activation can help clients access the issue or pain.
00:30:03 - Eye Position in Brainspotting,
Brooke mentions that a specific eye position does not correlate to a specific part of the brain. The positioning of the extraocular muscles is different for every person. The brain is complicated. We're just accessing different parts at different times based on what's most needed.
00:31:20 - Personal Brainspotting Experience,
Brainspotting helped both the guest and the host find a part of herself that was trying to come out for a long time. Different modalities, such as Brainspotting, breathwork, and EMDR are using our own brain's power to find our own healing. Brainspotting just helps uncover what our own brain has been trying to tell us all this time and hasn't had a chance.
00:35:05 - Adoption and Brainspotting,
Brainspotting has a relational foundation and a client-centered focus that is very healing for people in the adoption constellation. It is helpful for people who may not have words for their experience, whether because it was very early or because memories are encoded in a different language.
00:37:37 - Finding a Brainspotting Therapist,
To find a therapist, Google "Brainspotting" and see who comes up in your area. Consider joining an adoptive parents group such as APtitude which has a database full of directories and articles that are useful for their family's journey.
00:40:37 - In-Person vs. Zoom Brainspotting,
Zoom works fine - or even better - for some people, but it depends on the situation.
00:43:44 - Adoption Support Group for Parents,
Beth shares about her support group, APtitude, for adoptive parents facing adoption challenges. The group offers a database, a private Facebook group, a monthly speaker series, and bookclub as resources for adoptive parents to learn and grow together.
Dallas Goodlet remembers being told he was adopted at five years old. And at 19, he had a life-shattering realization about his adoption. Struggling with anger issues and feeling disconnected from his family, he spiralled into self-destructive patterns with drugs and alcohol to cope with his pain. Now, Dallas is on a journey of self-discovery and growth, using some unconventional tools to help him cope with his struggles. But what was the unexpected twist that prompted his self-destructive behavior? And what was the key that opened the lock of his recovery?
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Uncover the significance of identity and belonging in adopted children's lives.
- Learn about Dallas's personal struggles of addiction and his inspiring road to recovery.
- Recognize the crucial role of understanding and support in addressing adopted children's unique challenges.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
My special guest is Dallas Goodlet
Get to know Dallas Goodlet, an inspirational figure who has successfully navigated the challenges of adoption trauma and addiction to emerge stronger and more resilient. With a past marked by substance abuse and self-destructive behavior stemming from surprising revelations about his biological parents, Dallas embarked on a transformative journey of self-discovery and growth. Through his determination to overcome these challenges and the invaluable lessons he's gained along the way, Dallas supports and guides others grappling with the intricate ties between adoption and addiction.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Consider seeking professional support or therapy to navigate the complexities of adoption. Here is an Adoptee Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
- Here are the books that Dallas recommends:
- Dopamine Nation by Anna Lemke: https://amzn.to/3CGlkTW
Alan Carrâs Easy Way to Stop Smoking: https://amzn.to/3JmvAEE
Dallasâs information:
- Find Dallas on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_walk_king/
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
The Importance of Love
One of the most important factors that can help adopted individuals navigate the challenges they face is love and support from their adoptive family. Communicating this love and understanding consistently can help them cope with feelings of emptiness, abandonment, or insecurity that may arise due to their adoption status. Adoptive parents should strive to be a pillar of strength and encouragement for their children, fostering a home environment where their child feels safe and valued. By creating a strong foundation of love and support, adoptive parents can help their children build resilience and instill a sense of safety and belonging that will serve them throughout their lives.
Psychedelics and Forgiveness
The use of psychedelics, such as psilocybin mushrooms, can sometimes lead to transformative experiences that help individuals release deep-seated anger and resentment. While not a conventional treatment method, and not recommended for everyone, Dallas's experience shows that exploring alternative therapies might be beneficial for some people in their healing journey. A critical aspect of this healing process is understanding the importance of forgiveness, both towards others and oneself. In the episode, Dallas recounts his life-changing experience with psilocybin mushrooms that allowed him to see his adoptive parents' perspective and let go of the anger he harbored towards them. However, even after this profound breakthrough, his addiction still persisted. Dallas's ultimate recovery came through a combination of forgiveness, self-reflection, and adopting healthier behaviors.
===============
Timestamped summary of this episode:
00:01:28 - Childhood and Adoption Story,
Dallas shares his adoption story, including finding out at 5 years old that he was adopted and struggling with anger and shame throughout his childhood. He also discusses how he found out at 19 that who he thought was his biological mother was not, which sent him into a downward spiral of addiction and self-destructive behavior.
00:05:19 - Self-Destruct Mode,
Dallas talks about how he turned to drugs and alcohol heavily for five years after finding out about his birth parents. He discusses how he was able to function as an addict, hiding his drug use from others, and how he felt like he wanted to die but didn't want to kill himself directly.
00:09:36 - Getting Help,
Dallas shares how he eventually sought help and went into recovery from all substances a year ago. He talks about the tools that have helped him in recovery, including therapy, mindfulness, and connecting with others in recovery. He also discusses the importance of understanding and addressing underlying issues to prevent relapse.
00:11:21 - Psychedelics and Forgiveness,
Dallas discusses using psychedelics and the profound experience he had at 24 that led to forgiveness towards his adoptive parents. He also talks about the benefits of integrating psychedelic experiences and how forgiveness can help overcome addiction.
00:14:41 - Quitting Substances and Self-Binding,
Dallas talks about his journey of quitting substances, including cigarettes, cocaine, alcohol, and finally weed. He credits his success to self-binding and physical barriers, such as going on walks without cigarettes.
00:18:26 - Marijuana Addiction,
Dallas shares his experience with marijuana addiction and how it was the hardest substance for him to quit due to the medicinal benefits. He also discusses how marijuana can cause anxiety and the importance of finding new ways to replace dopamine hits.
00:20:52 - Anhedonia and Finding New Pleasures,
Dallas explains anhedonia, the lack of pleasure after quitting a substance, and how he found new ways to replace dopamine hits, such as being in nature, exercising, and sleeping. He also talks about the clarity he gained after quitting weed.
00:22:24 - The Impact of Cannabis on Brain Function,
Dallas talks about how cannabis stunts brain function and causes cognitive fog. Beth shares how her son feels clearer and able to think better after taking a break from the substance.
00:23:13 - Adoption and Substance Use,
Dallas discusses how his adoption pain may have contributed to his self-destructive behavior and substance use. He talks about how he used drugs and alcohol to cope with triggers, such as birthdays and Mother's Day, holidays that reminded him of his adoption-related pain.
00:25:01 - Difficulty Finding Support,
Dallas explains the difficulty of finding support for his adoption trauma and substance use. He shares how he didn't have anyone to talk to about his struggles and how his friends were not attuned to his emotional needs.
00:27:35 - Finding Information About Birth Mother,
Dallas reveals how he learned about his birth mother being locked up in a mental institution and how he felt hesitant to talk to his adoptive parents about it. He shares how taking Psilocybin helped him open up about his birth mother to his adoptive parents.
00:30:00 - Addiction and Food,
Dallas discusses his addiction to food and how it's similar to his substance use. He shares how he substituted food for drugs and how binging on food is similar to binging on drugs. He advises parents to empathize with their children who may be struggling with addiction and substance use.
00:33:22 - The Importance of Honesty in Adoption,
Dallas shares how learning the truth about his adoption later in life caused him to spiral. He believes that it is important for adoptive parents to be honest with their children and provide them with information about their birth parents.
00:34:23 - Importance of Open Communication,
Beth and Dallas discuss the importance of open communication between adoptive parents and their children. Dallas recommends that adoptive parents let their children know that they are open to talking about their adoption if and when the child is ready.
00:35:07 - The Benefits of Walking,
Dallas shares how walking has been a crucial part of his recovery process. He believes that walking in nature helps clear his mind and allows him to sort through his thoughts.
00:38:26 - Helping Adopted Children,
Dallas expresses his desire to help adopted children who may be struggling with addiction and mental health issues. He believes that it is important to provide these children with the tools to cope with their pain and help them avoid years of heartache.
00:39:15 - The Importance of Love,
Dallas advises adoptive parents to let their adopted children know that they are loved and to shower them with affection. He believes that adopted children often start their lives with a deficit and need extra love and support from their parents.
Magnifying Adoptee Voices with Jennifer Dyan Ghoston In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, fellow podcaster Jennifer Dyan Ghoston shares her experiences as an adoptee and advocate. She raises up the importance of amplifying adoptee voices, particularly for Black same-race adoptees. But as the conversation comes to an end, a thought-provoking question lingers: are adoptive parents and allies doing enough to truly understand and support their adoptee's experiences? Tune in to find out.
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Navigate the complex emotions surrounding adoption, providing a deeper understanding of its challenges and rewards.
- Appreciate the indispensable value of original birth certificates in an adoptee's life and identity formation.
- Hear a discussion about the importance of keeping adoptees' names and validating adoptees' experiences.
- Become more aware of the essential bonds of community and connection for everyone touched by adoption, such as conferences, podcasts, writing groups, and support groups.
- Raise your awareness of the experiences of Black same-race adoptees.
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
My special guest is Jennifer Dyan Ghoston
Jennifer Dyan Ghoston is a captivating storyteller, former detective for the Chicago PD, and passionate advocate for adoptees. Born into a closed, same-race adoption, she eventually reunited with her biological family and began a new quest to understand and support fellow adoptees. As the warm and empathetic host of the Once Upon a Time in Adoptee Land podcast, Jennifer shares her experiences and amplifies the voices of other adoptees while providing guidance to adoptive parents like our host Beth Syverson. Through her journey, she aims to promote openness and understanding within the adoption community, demonstrating her dedication to empowering others with her unique perspective and experience.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Listen to Jennifer Dyan Ghoston's podcast, Once Upon a Time in Adoptee Land, to hear more adoptee stories and perspectives: www.onceuponatimeinadopteeland.com
- Read Jennifer's memoir The Truth So Far...A Detective's Journey to Reunite with Her Birth Family: https://amzn.to/3N8dyXL
- Watch the documentary Jennifer appears in, A Simple Piece of Paper: https://vimeo.com/channels/adopteefilmchannel
- Attend conferences like Untangling Our Roots Summit: https://untanglingourroots.org/
- National Association of Adoptees and Parents (NAAP): https://naapunited.org/
-
Right to Know: https://righttoknow.us/
-
Look into the Adoptee Voices writing group: https://adoptee-voices.com/writing-groups/
- Read White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo: https://amzn.to/43Hxp7k
- Check out Jenniferâs website and order an autographed copy of her memoir: www.Jenniferdyanghoston.com
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
Adoptee Voices
The perspectives and experiences of adoptees can be invaluable in helping everyone involved in the adoption process understand the complexities and emotional aspects of adoption. Adoptee voices provide insights into issues that adoptive parents and community members may not be aware of, and they can shed light on the unique challenges and experiences faced by those who have been adopted. By listening to their stories, adoptive parents can better support their children and empathize with their experiences. During her conversation with host Beth Syverson, Jennifer Dyan Ghoston highlights the power of storytelling for healing and connections in the adoption community. She discusses her work co-facilitating the Adoptee Voices writing group, where adoptees come together in a supportive environment to share their experiences and foster understanding among all members of the adoption community.
Timestamped summary of this episode:
00:00:00 - Introduction,
Beth Syverson introduces the podcast and guest, Jennifer Dyan Ghoston, who shares her adoption story. They discuss the importance of adoptees telling their stories to help others understand adoption's complexities.
00:02:03 - Growing Up as an Adoptee,
Jennifer shares her experience growing up in a closed adoption with loving adoptive parents who were considerably older. Her parents were not emotionally available for discussions about adoption, which made it difficult for her to express her curiosity and feelings.
00:04:35 - Search for Biological Family,
Jennifer shares her journey to reunite with her biological family after embarking on a search in 2009. The Illinois law change that allowed adult adoptees to access their original birth certificates coincided with her search. She shares her nervousness and excitement when she finally received her Original Birth Certificate (OBC).
00:06:27 - Importance of Original Birth Certificate,
Beth and Jennifer discuss the significance of an Original Birth Certificate for adoptees, which contains their birth mother's name, date, and time of birth, among other details. They also discuss the amended birth certificate that adoptees are given, which can be confusing and does not reflect their true identity.
00:09:34 - Adoptees as Detectives,
Jennifer, who worked as a detective in the Chicago Police Department for 24 years, reflects on the similarities between adoptees and detectives. She also shares her belief that identifying one's interests early in life can be beneficial for career choices.
00:14:32 - The Importance of Names in Adoption,
The host shares her regrets about changing her adopted son's name to avoid bullying. She emphasizes the importance of keeping an adoptee's name and asks adoptive parents to consider this before making a decision.
00:15:51 - Owning Mistakes and Educating Others,
The guest acknowledges her mistakes and shares her experiences with adoptive parents to help them avoid similar mistakes. She hopes that adoptive parents can learn from her experiences and do better.
00:19:11 - Untangling Our Roots Conference,
The guest and host discuss their experiences at the Untangling Our Roots Summit, a conference for adoptees, donor-conceived people, and NPEs (Not Parent Expected). They highlight the healing atmosphere and the importance of bringing these groups together.
00:23:22 - Healing Through Collaboration,
The guest discusses the strength in numbers and believes that fellowship and togetherness can help in the healing process. She emphasizes the importance of language and inclusion of all groups in adoption, such as DCPs and NPEs.
00:26:24 - Leslie Pete McKinnon,
The guest and host express their admiration for Leslie Pete McKinnon, the woman who came up with the idea for the Untangling Our Roots Summit. They discuss her kind and caring nature and the impact she has had on the adoption community.
00:28:31 - The Importance of Networking,
Jennifer explains her preference for one-on-one networking due to her Enneagram type and past conference experiences. She encourages adoptive parents to attend conferences and listen to adoptee voices to inform their choices and help them heal.
00:30:32 - Adoptee Voices,
Beth and Jennifer agree on the importance of adoptees being seen and heard. Jennifer discusses the need for more representation of same-race Black domestic adoptees in the adoption conversation.
00:33:01 - Adoptee Voices Writing Group,
Beth highlights the Adoptee Voices writing group which provides space for adoptees to share their stories and be heard. Jennifer emphasizes the healing power of storytelling for both the storyteller and listener.
00:35:06 - Missing Voices in Adoption,
Jennifer mentions the lack of representation of same-race Black domestic adoptees in the adoption conversation and how this can lead to assumptions about adoptees' racial identities. She believes that listening to adoptee voices can inform adoptive parents' future decisions.
00:39:17 - Transracial Adoption,
Beth and Jennifer discuss the unique challenges faced by transracially adopted individuals in terms of identity and culture. Jennifer shares her experience of feeling a strong connection to her Black culture as a same-race adoptee.
00:42:52 - Importance of Immersing in Your Child's Community,
Jennifer emphasizes the importance of transracial adoptive parents immersing themselves in their child's community, even if it means moving to a new area. This helps prevent the child from feeling isolated and disconnected from their culture. It's also important to remember that not all Black people are the same.
00:43:52 - Working on Anti-Racism,
White people have a lot of work to do to support our Black adopted children, friends, and peers. We must educate ourselves by reading books like White Fragility and taking classes. It's crucial to step up and do the work to create a better culture.
00:44:49 - Good Intentions Are Not Enough,
While good intentions are a great starting point, they are not enough. We need to actively work towards anti-racism and be willing to accept feedback and correction when we make mistakes. We must do the hard work to create a better future for our Black communities.
Discover how late discovery adoptee (LDA) Greg Rostron exposes the danger of secrets and lies for adopteesâ mental health in this compelling and emotional episode.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Discover the crucial role honesty plays in the adoption process.
- Understand the effects secrets, lies, trauma, and family dysfunction may have on the mental well-being of adoptees.
- Learn about the deep-rooted feelings of abandonment and rejection often experienced by adopted individuals.
- Gain insights into specialized therapy methods tailored for adoptees and adoptive parents.
- Recognize the potential hazards of secrecy and the advantages of engaging in support groups.
My special guest is Greg Rostron
Greg Rostron is a late discovery adoptee from Sydney, Australia, who has bravely embarked on a journey of personal growth and healing after uncovering the truth about his adoption. Having spent much of his life unaware of this pivotal information, Greg experienced firsthand the impact that secrets and lies can have on an adoptee's mental health. Since reading The Primal Wound a few years ago, Greg has dedicated himself to advocacy and sharing his powerful story, emphasizing the importance of transparency and open communication within adoptive families. By addressing his own challenges and struggles, Greg has become an inspiration for others who are grappling with similar revelations about their past.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Seek therapy: It's a good idea for adoptive parents to seek therapy for themselves to work through any personal issues that may arise while raising an adopted child. And for adoptees, it's crucial to have therapeutic support available. Find adoptee therapists here: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
- Join support groups: Adoptees should consider joining support groups or seeking out other adoptees to connect with and share their experiences. Here are a few support groups that Unraveling Adoption recommends:
- Adoptees Connect: https://adopteesconnect.com/
- Fireside Adoptees: https://www.facebook.com/fireside.adoptees.and.allies
- Post Adoption Support in New South Wales: https://www.benevolent.org.au/services-and-programs/post-adoption-services
- Male Adoptees Digital Meetup: https://www.maleadoptees.com/
- Adoption Knowledge Affiliatesâ Menâs Adoptee Peer Support Group: https://www.adoptionknowledge.org/peer-support-groups.html
-
Celia Centerâs Male Adult Adoptee Adopt Salon Support Group: https://celiacenter.org/events-calendar-support-groups/
-
Adoptees and adoptive parents can benefit from reading The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier: https://amzn.to/42C0TCa
- This is the children's book about an adoptive family that Greg remembers from his childhood: Mister Fairweather and His Family by Margaret Kornitzer: https://www.biblio.com/book/mr-fairweather-his-family-kornitzer-margaret/d/644493426
- Email Greg: greg@rostron.ch
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
The Importance of Sharing Information
Sharing information about adoption is vital for adoptees to understand their background and build a stronger sense of identity. Withholding information can lead to feelings of disconnection and a lifetime of unanswered questions, which only gets worse with time. It's crucial that adoptive families prioritize sharing information and remain open about it, even if it feels uncomfortable. During his conversation with Beth Syverson, Greg Rostron stressed the significance of sharing information about adoption with those affected by it. He----- encouraged people to record, document, and share as much information as possible while those who know the secrets are still around. It's important for adoptees to connect with their biological heritage and understand their story better.
Timestamped summary of this episode:
00:00:00 - Introduction,
The host, Beth Syverson, introduces the podcast episode and the guest, Greg Rostron, a late discovery adoptee from Sydney, Australia. She explains that Greg found out he was adopted when he was 28, and he remained in the "fog" for almost 4 decades until he read the book, The Primal Wound, in 2020.
00:01:28 - Childhood and Family,
Greg talks about growing up as an only child with his adoptive parents who were in their 40s and had suffered miscarriages and a stillbirth. His father was a lifelong alcoholic, and there was an attempted rape when Greg was a child. Everyone in his adoptive family knew he was adopted, but no one was willing to talk to him about it.
00:06:23 - Late Discovery,
Greg found out he was adopted at 28 when he needed a full birth certificate to get married in Switzerland. His adoptive father handed him a manila envelope with the word "adoption" on it, and Greg lost it. He got married anyway, acting as if nothing had happened, and then moved on with his life.
00:08:53 - Signs and Uncovering the Truth,
In hindsight, Greg realizes there were many signs that he was adopted that he just ignored as a child. He found out that his adoptive mother had some little girl's clothes in her wardrobe, and he never remembered her giving him a hug or telling him she loved him.
00:13:40 - The Gay Rumor and Emotional Abuse,
Greg shares how his father's rumored homosexuality affected his family and how his mother suffered emotional abuse during their marriage, as revealed in divorce papers.
00:15:08 - Keeping Secrets and Lies,
Greg talks about his adoptive parents' control issues and how his birth father lied to him about his adoption. He shares his conflicted feelings about attending his father's 100th birthday celebration with his half-siblings.
00:19:25 - Lack of Attunement,
Greg reflects on the lack of emotional attunement between himself and his adoptive mother, which manifested in numerous ways throughout his life.
00:22:08 - Mental Health and Primal Wound,
Greg discusses how adoption can affect mental health and how reading The Primal Wound helped him understand his own experiences. He also shares two instances where he experienced suicidal thoughts due to triggers related to abandonment and rejection.
00:25:49 - Adoption and Trauma,
Greg emphasizes the impact adoption has had on his life, relationships, and mental health. He acknowledges that even the best adoptive parents cannot fully mitigate the trauma of being relinquished, and that healing is a lifelong process.
00:27:41 - Engineers and Therapy,
Beth and Greg discuss the stereotype of engineers not seeking therapy and how Greg's mental health struggles led him to therapy. They also discuss the importance of finding a therapist who is trauma-informed and adoption-competent.
00:33:01 - Therapy Costs and Alternatives,
Greg shares that therapy can be expensive and unaffordable for some, but there are NGOs and support groups that offer free counseling. He also recommends seeking out adoption-competent therapy for adoptees, adoptive parents, and birth parents.
00:35:57 - Male Adoptee Support,
Beth and Greg discuss the lack of male adoptee support groups and the importance of men having a safe space to talk about their experiences. Greg shares his positive experiences in support groups with women and how it helped him understand his birth mother's trauma.
00:38:17 - Importance of Support System,
Greg shares how his wife has been a supportive partner throughout his adoption journey and mental health struggles.
00:40:18 - Secrets,
Beth and Greg discuss the potential dangers of keeping secrets and how it can affect mental health. They share personal anecdotes about secrets in their own families and how disclosing them can lead to a sense of relief and freedom.
00:41:45 - The Importance of Sharing Information,
Greg emphasizes the importance of gathering and documenting information about adoption stories, even if they are difficult to discuss. He encourages birth mothers to share their story and adoptive parents to be open with their children from a young age to avoid resentment and anger later in life.
00:43:01 - The Healing Power of Love,
Greg shares the importance of adoptees hearing the words "I love you" from their birth mothers, as it can be healing to the soul. He also advises adoptive parents to tell their children they are adopted from a young age, so it becomes part of their story and avoids secrets.
00:44:40 - The Dangers of Secrets and Lies,
Greg shares how keeping secrets and lies about his adoption has caused him to feel resentful and angry towards his adoptive parents. He believes that owning up to the truth and sharing information can prevent life-threatening situations.
00:45:47 - Reaching Out for Support,
Greg offers his email address for those who would like to connect with him and discuss adoption stories. He believes that adoptees talking to each other can be a healing and validating experience.
00:46:32 - Sharing is Caring,
Greg emphasizes the importance of sharing adoption stories and information with others. He believes that "sharing is caring" and can prevent damaging secrets and lies. Beth encourages listeners to share this episode with others who may need to hear Greg's story.
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, trauma expert Beth Tyson discusses the often overlooked and misdiagnosed effects of ambiguous loss on children in foster care and adoptive families, calling for greater awareness and emphasis on connection to mitigate the impacts of trauma.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Grasp the profound consequences of adoption trauma on children and families alike.
- Learn powerful ways to assist children during traumatic episodes.
- Recognize the vital importance of addressing grief and loss within the adoption journey.
- Identify the essential aspects of providing adoptees ongoing support.
- Tackle the challenges of forming and maintaining intricate family bonds in adopted families.
My special guest is Beth Tyson
Beth Tyson is a childhood trauma consultant, trainer, bestselling author, and public speaker who has dedicated her career to helping children and families affected by trauma. With a Master's degree in Clinical Counseling, she has worked with children in foster care, adoption, and kinship families to help them understand and cope with their experiences. Beth Tyson's passion for supporting these families has led her to create Connections Matter Academy, an animated short video series, and an award-winning children's picture book, "A Grand Family for Sullivan." By sharing her expertise with us, she aims to raise awareness about the impact of grief and loss in adoption and foster care systems, and help adoptive parents and community allies better understand adopted and fostered children's experiences.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Consider trauma-informed therapy for adoptees and foster youth. Find adoptee therapists here: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
-
Check out Beth Tyson's animated short video series, Connections Matter Academy: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5ud5wiGudHfma-G887gutw
-
Get or gift her award-winning children's picture book, A Grandfamily for Sullivan: https://amzn.to/3OQfZ3D
-
Find resources for aging-out foster youth at Connect Our Kids: ConnectOurKids.org
-
Shift your perspective on ADHD and other behavioral labels as trauma responses rather than diseases. A good resource is Gabor MatĂŠ's new book The Myth of Normal: https://amzn.to/42jyqRm
-
Join Beth Tysonâs private Facebook group Emotiminds: https://www.facebook.com/groups/emotiminds
- Connect with Beth Tyson on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bethtyson/
- Sign up for Beth Tysonâs newsletter and check out her website: www.bethtyson.com
===============
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - OPLM.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support UnravelingAdoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
Grief and Loss in Adoption Adopting a child is a life-changing event, full of emotions including joy, excitement, love, and also grief and loss. It is vital to acknowledge and recognize that at various points in their lives, adoptive parents, birth parents, and adoptees will most likely experience a range of feelings associated with grief and loss. For adoptees, this could involve grappling with the concept of identity, the loss of a biological connection, or the struggle to fit in within their adoptive family. For adoptive parents, the potential experience of unmet expectations, challenges in bonding, or the weight of responsibility can bring about feelings of grief and loss. Open communication within the family, along with external resources and support, can help manage these emotions and create a healthier environment for all involved. Guest Beth Tyson shared her experience as a therapist and trauma educator and described how, despite having loving adoptive parents, she's worked with many adopted and fostered children and youth who experienced feelings of disconnection and grief. She emphasizes the importance of addressing the complexities that come with adoption and offering resources to help adoptees process their grief and loss. In doing so, families can create stronger bonds and promote a more positive adoption experience for everyone involved.
The Impact of Trauma on Children and Misdiagnosis of ADHD Trauma experienced by children can sometimes result in misdiagnoses, most notably with ADHD. Children who have experienced trauma may exhibit behaviors consistent with those seen in ADHD, such as impulsivity or difficulty focusing, resulting in misinterpretation of their diagnosis. However, understanding the trauma symptoms correctly and addressing the underlying issues, rather than merely treating ADHD symptoms, can benefit the child's recovery process immensely. Beth Tyson highlights this potential trap of misdiagnosis, urging parents and caregivers to explore a child's complete history, life experiences, and feelings to better comprehend their behavior. In the episode, the two Beths - Tyson and Syverson - discuss the importance of co-regulation, emphasizing a caregiver's responsibility to create a safe, responsive, and nurturing environment for the child, thus promoting the child's ability to cope with their traumatic experiences.
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction, Host Beth Syverson introduces the podcast and guest Beth Tyson, a childhood trauma consultant, trainer, and author. They want to help those touched by adoption and to educate the public on adoption's complexities. 00:02:41 - Beth Tyson's Background, Beth Tyson shares how she got involved in the foster and adoption systems, her experience dealing with trauma in children, and the impact of grief and loss on adoptees and foster youth. 00:06:07 - Ambiguous Loss, Beth Tyson explains the concept of ambiguous loss, a type of grief that children in foster care and adoptive families experience when someone important to them is either physically or emotionally absent. 00:10:11 - Effects of Grief on Behavior, The trauma caused by grief and loss can lead to behaviors such as anxiety, fight or flight response, physical and mental distress, and running away or freezing. Understanding these behaviors is crucial to providing support and avoiding stigmatization. 00:14:30 - Trauma Responses, Trauma responses can manifest in fight, flight, or freeze behaviors, with children either running from their problems physically, being aggressive or acting out, or dissociating and disconnecting from reality. Understanding these responses is essential to providing support and healing for adoptees and foster youth. 00:14:57 - The Impact of Trauma on Children and Misdiagnosis of ADHD, The labels of ADHD and other disorders can often be misdiagnosed in children who are experiencing trauma. Trauma can lead to dysregulation and children finding a way to relieve their pain. Trauma isn't just the big events, but also smaller emotional and relational things like emotional neglect. 00:18:20 - The Subjectivity of Trauma, Trauma is subjective, meaning that what might be traumatic for one person may not be for another. Trauma can lead to a loss of trust and safety in the world around you, and this can lead to dysregulation and trauma responses. It's important to recognize the different types of trauma that can occur, not just the "big T" traumas. 00:22:03 - Building Trust and Connection, The foundation for helping children who have experienced trauma is to increase their sense of safety and trust. Trauma can lead to a loss of trust, and this can cause dysregulation and trauma responses. Connection is key, and increasing a child's sense of safety can help them feel more secure in the world around them. 00:23:56 - De-escalating Meltdowns, When a child is experiencing a meltdown or tantrum, it's important to try and de-escalate the situation. This can be done by staying calm and asking for support or help from someone who isn't emotionally invested in the situation. Riding out the arc of the meltdown is also important, as typically they dissipate after 20-30 minutes. 00:28:59 - Coping Strategies for Anxiety and Trauma, Beth Tyson discusses how to interrupt anxious or frustrated behavior with soothing techniques, such as petting a soft animal. Animals can be incredibly healing and helpful for anxiety for children and adults. 00:30:38 - Valid Rage and Attachment, Beth Tyson explains how children with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) may push away caregivers out of a need for safety and how animals can be a stepping stone to building attachment. Additionally, she delves into the concept of valid rage and why adoptive and foster parents should not take it personally. 00:34:23 - Grief and Loss in Adoption, Beth Tyson discusses the losses experienced by all members of the adoption triad, including adoptive parents, birth parents, and adoptees. She highlights the lack of support for birth parents and challenges adoptive parents to have empathy for birth parents. 00:39:55 - Adolescence and Trauma, Beth Tyson explains why adolescence can be a breaking point for adoptive and foster children due to hormonal changes, increased access to substances, and higher expectations. She also highlights the developmental delays that can occur in children who have experienced early life trauma. 00:42:54 - Drug Use and Developmental Delays, Beth Tyson talks about the impact of drug use on the emotional and mental development of children who have experienced trauma and how it can inhibit different brain functions. She also highlights the prevalence of drugs in elementary schools and the challenges of catching up on life experiences for families affected by substance use. 00:43:22 - The Impact of Trauma on Young People, Beth Tyson and Beth Syverson discuss how young people cope with trauma, and how it differs from adults. Younger people are less able to think about long-term consequences, but with age, people develop other coping mechanisms or gain support to deal with trauma. 00:44:34 - Supporting Kinship Families, Tyson explains that kinship families are those that take in a child they have previously had a relationship with. Often, these families are unsupported and lack resources. Tyson's book, A Grandfamily for Sullivan, aims to help kinship families understand their situation and give them coping mechanisms. 00:48:28 - Trauma-Informed Care, Tyson works to train child welfare professionals in different states on trauma-informed and trauma-responsive care. This includes teaching them about the importance of connections and how they can help children who are aging out of foster care find and connect with extended family members or other supportive people. 00:51:11 - Connections Matter Academy, The Connections Matter Academy is an animated series aimed at helping adolescents and young adults who have been in foster care understand trauma, cope with loss and grief, and build healthy relationships. Created by Tyson and 30 others with a history of foster care, the videos aim to help people understand that their current situation is not their fault. 00:56:53 - Finding Hope in Trauma, Tyson's work is focused on not just talking about the trauma people experience, but also finding hope.
In this episode, filmmaker and adoptee Glenn Morey discusses the painful experiences and anger felt by Asian American adoptees like him. In this thought-provoking podcast episode, he delves into the realities of growing up in a homogeneously white environment and the damaging effects of negative media portrayals of Asian boys and men.
If you are the adoptive or foster parent of an Asian child, do you want to help them develop a strong sense of identity and community? Glenn Morey has the solution to empower Asian adoptees through fostering supportive networks and building a sense of belonging.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Delve into the critical importance of adoptee voices when exploring Korean adoption history.
- Examine the complexities of identity development for Asian adoptees within white communities.
- Acknowledge the harmful effects of negative stereotypes on the well-being of Asian American boys and men.
- Embrace the essential role of transracial adoptive parents in fostering their child's sense of identity.
- Appreciate the power of community and shared experiences in strengthening Asian American adoptees' identity.
My special guest is Glenn Morey
Glenn is a passionate filmmaker and Korean adoptee from Denver who, in his retirement, has made it his life's work to bring the stories of adoptees to the forefront. Together with his wife Julie, Glenn has created the impactful film project, Side by Side, which features the heartfelt stories of 100 Korean adoptees from around the world. Glenn's own experience as an interracial adoptee has given him a unique perspective on the challenges and triumphs faced by Asian American boys and men, making his work truly invaluable.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Visit the Side By Side Project website to watch all 100 Korean adoptee stories in their entirety: sidebysideproject.com
- Check out the nine stories in the 38 Minutes compilation or the ten different thematic montages on topics such as seeking identity, motherland, and aging out of the Korean orphanages: https://sidebysideproject.com/11-short-films
- Listen to 15 of the stories in an Audible original compilation titled Given Away: https://www.audible.com/pd/Given-Away-Audiobook/B08KWRMHTZ?asin=B08KWRMHTZ&source_code=AUDOR2221105209T9J
- Hereâs the YouTube recording of a discussion with therapists who viewed the film: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYpBMrXZcio&t=72s
- Transracial adoptive families can attend PACT Camp: https://pactadopt.org/pact-camp/
- Here are the two books Glenn recommended:
- The Souls of Yellow Folk by Wesley Yang https://amzn.to/3OIh2mo
- Minor Feelings: An Asian American Reckoning by Kathy Park Hong: https://amzn.to/3IL8l6V
===============
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support UnravelingAdoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
Growing up Asian in a Homogeneously White Community The experience of growing up as an Asian adoptee in predominantly white areas can lead to feelings of isolation and a struggle to develop a sense of identity. Adoptees often face challenges in connecting with their racial and cultural background and may feel like they don't quite fit into either world. This sense of displacement can have lasting consequences for their personal and social development. Finding ways to expose adoptees to their native culture and building connections with others from similar backgrounds can be essential to promoting a strong sense of self and fostering understanding between adoptees, their families, and the broader community. In this podcast, Glenn Morey shares his personal journey growing up as a Korean adoptee in a white community. He particularly emphasizes the importance of connecting with other people who share a similar background, as this helped him to embrace his heritage and feel more at ease with his identity. Many of the adoptees interviewed for the Side by Side project also expressed similar feelings of displacement and isolation, showing that this is a common issue faced by many Asian adoptees. By creating opportunities for connections to grow and supports to be put in place, it can help adoptees develop a greater sense of belonging and connection to their roots.
Model Minority Myth and Individual Needs The model minority myth perpetuates stereotypes about Asian Americans as a monolithic group that materially succeeds in overcoming adversity. This misconception disregards the individual needs and challenges faced by adoptees and other Asian Americans. However, each person's experiences are unique, and the expectations put upon them by society may hinder their ability to find personal success and contentment. Recognizing and addressing the wide range of experiences and emotions among Asian American adoptees can help break through the model minority myth and promote a more compassionate understanding of their lives. During the podcast, Glenn Morey and Beth Syverson examine the impact that stereotypes such as the model minority myth have on adopted Asian American individuals. They discuss the challenges faced by adoptive parents supporting their children's unique needs and emphasize the importance of education and understanding around these often complex issues. Through conversations like these and the continued sharing of experiences, adoptees and those supporting them can work together to counteract this flawed narrative and create a more informed, empathetic, and supportive environment for everyone involved.
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction, The host introduces Glenn Morey, an interracial adoptee from Korea who created the Side by Side film project, an online installation of 100 Korean adoptee stories. 00:01:00 - Emotional Stories of the Adoptees, Glenn talks about how nearly every adoptee he spoke to during the filming of the project eventually talked about their adoption experiences and feelings in painful terms, even if their journey had been positive. 00:06:43 - Becoming a Filmmaker, Glenn talks about his career in filmmaking and how he retired in 2012, giving him the opportunity to focus on the Side by Side project. 00:09:09 - Impact of the Film, Glenn talks about how the film gave many of the adoptees a chance to have catharsis and divulge information they had not expected to share. Many of the adoptees had told very little of their story to their family, partners, or loved ones. 00:12:00 - Aging Out of Korean Orphanages, Glenn talks about how difficult it was to find people willing to tell the aging-out story. He emphasizes that the stories are important for adoptees to fill in the blanks of what would have happened had they stayed in Korea. The stories are difficult but educational. 00:15:12 - Growing up Asian in a Homogeneously White Community, Glenn talks about growing up in Littleton, Colorado, a suburb of Denver, which was almost entirely white. He shares how adoptees try to live as if their adoption and race don't matter, but being in a homogeneously white community presents challenges that are hard to ignore. 00:19:50 - The Effects of Negative Portrayal in Media, Glenn discusses how Asian men have been portrayed negatively in the media for a long time, making it hard for them to be seen positively or as potential romantic partners. He argues that these portrayals contribute to Asian adoptee's difficulty in seeing themselves positively when they look in the mirror. 00:23:14 - The Anger of Asian American Men, Glenn shares an interview quote from actor John Cho, who says Asian American men walk around with clenched fists, ready to fight because people have been treating them poorly all their lives. Glenn believes adoptive parents must understand this anger and support their child's identity development. 00:27:03 - Coping with Being Asian American, Glenn encourages adoptive parents to do more than heritage camps to help their child thrive as an Asian American in America. He believes acknowledging and discussing the challenges of growing up as a child of color in a homogeneously white community is crucial for healthy identity development and successful adulthood. 00:31:31 - Importance of Community for Adoptees, Beth shares how attending a school with predominantly Asian students helped her son feel like he belonged -- and this school was only ten miles away. Glenn and Beth stress the importance of finding a community for adoptees where they don't feel like they're the only one. 00:33:42 - Finding Strength in Community, As an adult adoptee, Glenn found strength in his family, the adoptee community, and the Asian American community. He believes that it takes the love and support of other people to fight shame, isolation, and alienation. 00:35:04 - Resources for Adoptive Parents, Glenn recommends PACT Camp as an organization for parents and families in transracial adoption. He believes that adoptive parents need to get a better grasp on how race affects people and that it's a life and death situation for adoptees. 00:37:02 - Model Minority Myth and Individual Needs, Glenn highlights the issue with the model minority myth and how it's not helpful to assume that Asians are doing fine. He emphasizes that every individual needs to be met where they are, and it's not a competition from one race to another. 00:40:25 - Takeaway Messages, Glenn stresses the importance of finding a community for adoptees, finding strength in community, and for adoptive parents to get a better grasp on how race affects their interracially adopted kids. He hopes that this conversation will help Asian American men and boys and other people of color.
Sandy White Hawk's heartbreaking story of being taken from her Native American family at a young age is a familiar tale, but her unexpected twist of reconnection will leave you in tears. From feelings of isolation to the overwhelming emotions of meeting her birth family, Sandy's journey is a powerful reminder of the importance of connection and the devastating impact of forced removal. Find out how Sandy is helping other Native American adoptees and formerly fostered individuals reconnect with their Native American roots too.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Examine the long-lasting impact of Native American child removal policies on the psyche and well-being of members of Indigenous communities.
- Acknowledge the value of cultural comprehension in drafting policies that respect diverse communities.
- Encourage the prioritizing of family preservation in Indigenous communities.
- Discover healing rituals that Sandy White Hawk helps facilitate for Native American individuals affected by adoption and foster care systems.
- Learn about the necessity of enforcing the Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA) to uphold the rights of Native American families.
My special guest is Sandy White Hawk
Sandy White Hawk is a Lakota adoptee who has been passionately advocating for the rights and well-being of Native American children and families for decades. This Minnesota-based powerhouse is the founder of the First Nations Repatriation Institute and has dedicated her life to helping others reconnect with their heritage. As a survivor of child removal herself, Sandy knows firsthand the devastating effects this practice can have on individuals and their communities. Her inspiring story has been featured in three documentaries and her powerful memoir, A Child of the Indian Race: a Story of Return. Sandy's extensive experience and commitment to this cause make her an invaluable resource for all of us who are interested in prioritizing family preservation in Native American communities and beyond.
===============
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Read Sandy White Hawk's memoir, A Child of the Indian Race: A Story of Return: https://amzn.to/3Mb34q0
- Watch the documentaries featuring Sandy White Hawk's story:
-
- Blood Memory: https://www.tpt.org/america-reframed/video/blood-memory-ze8gfl/
- The Peopleâs Protectors: https://www.pbs.org/show/peoples-protectors/
- Dawnland: www.ustanderproject.org
- Learn more about the First Nations Repatriation Institute and consider supporting their work: https://www.wearecominghome.org/
- Consider donating to the National Native American Boarding School Healing Coalition: https://boardingschoolhealing.org/
- Educate yourself about Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA) with this ICWA Fact Sheet: http://www.nativepartnership.org/site/PageServer?pagename=PWNA_Native_History_ICWA&s_src=ICWAGoogleAds&gclid=Cj0KCQjwmZejBhC_ARIsAGhCqncBANIrOVwOkvesF74qNTnwdKuPzuStXe5_TS1AoOwd5FPqHStiyt0aAiwXEALw_wcB
- The Baby Thief: The True Story of the Woman Who Sold Over Five Thousand Neglected, Abused and Stolen Babies in the 1950s: https://amzn.to/3BY5yDP
- The Child Catchers: Rescue, Trafficking, and the New Gospel of Adoption: https://amzn.to/3MF2J0e
===============
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support UnravelingAdoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
Support for Adoptive Parents Adoptive parents play an essential role in the healing and growth process for Native American children who have experienced separation from their birth families. Offering support to adoptive parents means providing access to resources and guidance, fostering cultural understanding, and assisting them in addressing the unique challenges they and the adoptees face. Adoptive parents must prioritize the cultural heritage and psychological well-being of their adopted child, and seek guidance when needed to meet these demands. Sandy White Hawk's insights and experiences in the episode highlight the importance of openness in adoption, particularly those who care for Native American children. She shared that her own adoptive mother denied Sandy's Native American heritage, causing significant emotional turmoil in her life. By offering support to adoptive parents and ensuring they understand the crucial role that cultural heritage plays in the lives of Native American adoptees, this cycle of trauma can be broken, and the healing journey can begin.
Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA) The Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA) is a crucial federal law aimed at preserving Native American families and their cultural ties. Enacted in 1978, the ICWA is designed to protect the best interests of Native American children by acknowledging their unique cultural and social needs. A cornerstone of the ICWA is the establishment of a cultural heritage preference for adopting or fostering Native American children, meaning that a Native American family is preferred as the adoptive or foster home for a Native child. This prioritizes family ties and the importance of preserving cultural bonds. Sandy White Hawk mentioned the critical role of the ICWA in mitigating the systemic removal of Native American children from their families and communities. She expressed concern over the common non-compliance with the act and the lack of enforcement, emphasizing the need for stronger adherence to the law and understanding of its importance. Sandy believes the ICWA is a crucial step to recognize the rights of Native American families and ensure the respect and dignity they deserve.
===============
Timestamped summary of this episode: 00:02:59 - Childhood as a Transracial Adoptee, Sandy shares her experiences growing up as a transracial adoptee and the challenges she faced, including physical and emotional abuse, and feeling isolated from her Indian heritage. 00:08:55 - Sandy's Adoption Story, Sandy talks about her adoption and how she was taken from her family on the reservation by a white social worker when she was 18 months old. She shares that her birth family would have taken care of her if they could have, but the law at the time did not allow it. 00:13:33 - Impact on Birth Families, Sandy discusses how adoption impacts not just the adoptee, but also the birth family who has to live with the loss of a family member. She talks about how important it is for adoptees to understand the impact of adoption on their birth families and to honor their stories. 00:19:55 - Healing and Repatriation, Sandy shares about her work with the First Nations Repatriation Institute and the National Native American Boarding School Healing Coalition, and how these organizations are helping to restore First Nations people to their homelands and heal from the trauma of forced removal and adoption. 00:14:07 - The Pain of Adoption, Sandy describes the pain that birth mothers and adoptees carry. She talks about the lack of attention given to birth mothers and the need for a study on Native American birth moms. Sandy reveals the horrendous stories she has heard. 00:15:09 - Finding Belonging, Sandy shares her experience of meeting relatives who took care of her as a baby. She talks about the importance of teasing in Indian culture and how it gives a sense of belonging. Sandy discusses the harmful idea that children should be taken out of poverty and put in a more privileged home. 00:18:00 - Reconnecting with Family, Sandy talks about reuniting with her family at 36 years old. She describes the feeling of seeing her own face in her brother's and the importance of mirroring in child development. Sandy shares her struggle with identity as an adoptee and how reconnecting with her family allowed her to shed her white identity. 00:24:06 - Dealing with Adoptive Family, Sandy discusses her relationship with her adoptive mother and how she opted not to see her when she was dying. She talks about the importance of taking care of oneself and not blaming others. 00:26:52 - First Nations Repatriation Institute, Sandy talks about her organization, the First Nations Repatriation Institute, and the ceremonies they create for adoptees and formerly fostered individuals. She emphasizes the importance of healing and reconnecting with one's culture and family. 00:28:08 - Sandy's Vision, Sandy shares her experience of having a vision after experiencing a ceremony for veterans. She shared her vision with an elder which led to the creation of a song and ceremony to welcome home adoptees and formerly fostered individuals. 00:37:41 - Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA), Sandy talks about ICWA and its significance in preserving families and preventing the systematic removal of Native American children from their homes, villages, and communities. She also talks about the stipulations of ICWA and the challenges in enforcing it. 00:40:22 - Active Efforts in Social Work, Sandy explains the concept of active efforts in social work and emphasizes the importance of helping families stay together by providing active support rather than just giving them tokens or numbers to recovery programs. She also talks about the importance of social workers having the right mindset and attitude towards their work. 00:41:44 - Working with Families in Crisis, Sandy compares working with families in crisis to attending a deadly car accident and emphasizes the importance of social workers having empathy, patience, and the right mindset. She also talks about how social workers should go in pairs or more, just like EMTs, to ensure safety and support for everyone involved. 00:36:11 - Participating in a powwow ceremony, Sandy talks about the protocol and cultural/spiritual significance of participating in a powwow gathering 00:42:41 - Policing vs. Healing Attitude towards Native Families, Sandy discusses how social workers need to approach Native families with a healing attitude rather than a policing attitude. She emphasizes that Native families have intergenerational trauma that they are often not even aware of, and if social workers cannot wrap their heads around that, they should find another career. 00:44:11 - The Insidiousness of Adoption Today, Sandy expresses her frustration with adoption today and how it is more about fulfilling the needs of adoptive parents rather than the well-being of the child. She advocates for a time of healing before opening the door for adoptees to search for their birth families and suggests that only adoptees and birth mothers should write the policies for adoption. 00:45:11 - Actionable Steps to Support Native Families in Adoption, Sandy suggests that people can make a difference by calling their representatives and educating them about the Indian Child Welfare Act. She also encourages people to donate to her organization, the First Nations Repatriation Institute, which helps individuals find their birth families and releases adoption records. 00:47:53 - Unresolved Grief in Adoption, Sandy discusses the importance of adoptive parents addressing their own unresolved grief before adopting a child. She believes that many adoptive situations stem from a child fulfilling a need of the parent, and emphasizes that this is toxic and puts a burden on the child. 00:55:28 - Support for Adoptive Parents, Beth and Sandy discuss the importance of adoptive parents being open around the topics of race, heritage, culture, and birth families.
Are you an LGBTQ+ adoptive parent or adoptee in need of support and resources? Look no further! Tony Hynes has the solution for you to connect with a community and discover valuable resources to support your family. Join the growing network of LGBTQ+ adoptive families and find the resources you need to thrive.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Gain insights into challenges experienced by LGBTQ+ adoptive families in today's society.
- Understand the crucial role of purposeful communication in adoptive families.
- Tackle difficult topics such as separation, grief, and loss within adoptive family relationships.
- Find valuable support resources catering to the unique needs of LGBTQ+ adoptive families.
- Delve into the intersections of a child's identity in adoptive family settings.
My special guest is Tony Hynes
With lived experience overcoming obstacles faced by LGBTQ+ adoptive families, Tony Hynes has become a respected and sought-after voice in the community. Tony's personal journey as an interracial adoptee with lesbian parents has equipped him with invaluable insights into the challenges LGBTQ+ adoptive families face in today's society. His dedication to supporting and empowering others in their quest to build loving homes for their children has made him a trusted ally for countless families.
Tonyâs Contact Info & Resources:
- Tonyâs Book: The Son With Two Moms: https://amzn.to/42yJs6e
- Tonyâs Articles:
-
- Why We Shouldnât Call Adoptees âLuckyâ: https://catapult.co/stories/essay-adopted-why-we-shouldnt-call-adoptees-lucky-tony-hynes
- I Am the Black Adoptee of White Parents: What George Floyd Taught Me About Race and the Adoption Industry: https://medium.com/hynes-on-adoption/i-am-the-black-adoptee-of-white-parents-what-george-floyd-taught-me-about-race-and-the-adoption-5052180d8b56
- Tonyâs Email: Hynes@adoptionsupport.org
- Find Tony on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tony_hy/
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- Check out Tony Hynes' other interviews on adoption-related podcasts, including:
-
- Lori Holden's Adoption: the Long View: https://www.adopting.com/adoption-podcasts/adoption-the-long-view/adoption-in-interracial-lgbtq-families
- Angela Tucker's The Adoptee Next Door: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLiDXe4qnn8
- Simon Benn's Thriving Adoptees Podcast: https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/belonging-with-tony-hynes-interracial-adoptee-training-specialist
- Three Sides to Every Adoption: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENzs7fdEClM
-
Support the Center for Adoption Support and Education (C.A.S.E.), where Tony Hynes works as a training specialist, by making a donation or participating in their training programs. https://adoptionsupport.org/
-
Find an LGBTQ+-affirming Unitarian Universalist Church: https://www.uua.org/lgbtq/welcoming/ministers
- Other Organizations that Support LGBTQ+ Families that Tony Mentions:
-
- Rainbow Families: https://rainbowfamilies.org/
- Family Equality: https://www.familyequality.org/
- COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere): https://colage.org/
- PFlag (Parents & Friends of Lesbians and Gays): https://pflag.org/
===============
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support UnravelingAdoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
Episode Summary:
Intersectionality of Racism and Homophobia For interracial children adopted by LGBTQ+ parents, growing up and navigating their identity is shaped by both the racial and sexual orientation aspects of their family. In Tony Hynes' experience, he had to contend with not only being a black child adopted by white parents, but also having two moms. This led to numerous questions from classmates and acquaintances. He faced negative comments during his college years that caused him to reconsider some of his friend relationships. Tony's experience demonstrates the importance of understanding and appreciating the intersectionality of race and sexual identity in adoption.
It is crucial for potential LGBTQ+ adoptive parents to understand the possible hardships they may face while embarking on their adoption journey and to be prepared to address these issues with the support of a strong community and educational resources. Guest Tony Hynes shares that his adoption was facilitated by his two moms, Mary and Janet, with only one being the legal guardian due to the restrictions placed on LGBTQ+ couples. The family experienced various challenges tied to sexual orientation and race, such as receiving unwarranted stares and experiencing discrimination. Despite these trying times, Tony emphasizes the importance of love, support, and perseverance within his family structure.
===============
Timestamped Summary of This Episode: 00:00:00 - Introduction, Host Beth Syverson introduces the podcast and the guest, Tony Hynes, a training specialist at C.A.S.E. and an African American interracial adoptee raised by white lesbian parents. They discuss the complexities of adoption and aim to help anyone touched by adoption. 00:02:07 - Adoption by a Gay Couple, Tony Hynes discusses his experience being adopted in the mid-90s by his mothers, Mary and Janet, who were a same-sex couple. As gay marriage was not legal at the time, Mary adopted Tony as a single parent, and Janet was his legal guardian. LGBTQ+ adoptive parents often face biases from adoption agencies and social workers. 00:06:51 - Early Awareness of Differences, Tony Hynes recalls being aware of his family's differences from a young age, being black with white parents and having two moms. He recounts the stares and judgment they faced from strangers and the challenges they faced when the initial adoption was overturned due to people's biases against their family structure. 00:11:09 - Intersectionality of Race and Homophobia, Tony Hynes notes that the biases against his family structure were linked to both race and homophobia. His birth family didn't want him raised in a white household, and his grandmother thought it was a sin to raise a child in an LGBTQ+ household. He emphasizes the ongoing fight for LGBTQ+ equality and the challenges faced by LGBTQ+ people in everyday life. 00:14:53 - Growing Up with Two Moms and Dealing with Prejudice, Tony Hynes talks about his experience growing up with two lesbian mothers in the community he grew up in. He experienced prejudice from his step-great aunt's family. 00:18:31 - Dealing with Anti-LGBTQ+ Comments in College, Tony recounts an experience in college where he apologized to a friend after a disagreement, and the friend responded by saying that they couldn't be friends anymore because of Tony's upbringing. The friend went on to say that being gay was a sin and that Tony's mother was going to go to Hell. 00:22:32 - The Problem with the "Sin" Argument, Beth and Tony discuss the problematic argument that being gay is a sin and how it disrespects the humanity of LGBTQ+ individuals. Tony shares how it's important to be intentional about the friendships and communities he engages with to ensure that he is surrounded by people who respect and accept his family. 00:25:17 - Coming Out as a Child of LGBTQ+ Parents, Tony talks about how children of LGBTQ+ parents sometimes have to come out themselves and make decisions about when and how to share information about their family. He shares how he sometimes has to make those decisions in his trainings, depending on the audience, to ensure that his message is heard. 00:29:24 - Challenges of LGBTQ+ Adoption, The guest, Tony Hynes, talks about the challenges of raising an adopted child as an LGBTQ+ couple. The host, Beth Syverson, explains how her son faced bullying and homophobia because of having gay parents and being a transracial adoptee. Tony advises LGBTQ+ adoptive parents to talk about homophobia and civil rights for LGBTQ+ people, normalize LGBTQ+ friendships, and educate their children about societal backlash. 00:30:32 - Importance of Racial Mirrors and Representation, Tony emphasizes the importance of racial mirrors and representation in interracial adoption. He suggests that adoptive parents should have books, movies, and cultural events that reflect the child's racial identity. Tony also advises parents to talk about racism and explain its impact on the child. 00:35:09 - Talking to Children about Homophobia, Tony suggests that adoptive parents should be intentional about talking to their children about homophobia. He advises parents to role play and predict what might happen, educate their children about LGBTQ+ history, and normalize LGBTQ+ friendships. Tony also recommends parents to communicate effectively with their children and set boundaries against homophobic language. 00:39:35 - Importance of Proactive Parenting, Tony stresses the importance of proactive parenting and open communication. He advises parents to bring up difficult topics such as racism and homophobia, educate their children, and role play how to handle challenging situations. Tony also shares his complex relationship with his birth family and highlights the lifelong journey of adoption. 00:43:55 - Growing Up with Lesbian Moms, Tony Hynes reflects on his childhood with his introverted mom and how despite not attending Pride, his moms were supportive of rights for different populations. He shares that his moms were not perfect, and he now helps adoptive parents avoid making the same mistakes. 00:45:38 - Pressure to Be Perfect, Tony discusses the pressure he felt to have his LGBTQ+ adoptive parents be seen as shining examples of a successful family, despite their imperfections. He urges adult children of LGBTQ+ parents to embrace the complexity of their family structure and not feel pressure to conform to societal norms. 00:48:21 - Resources for LGBTQ+ Adoptive Families, Tony recommends several organizations that provide support and resources for LGBTQ+ adoptive families, such as Rainbow Families, Family Equality, Collage, PFlag, and C.A.S.E. He also encourages people to arm themselves with information about what's going on politically. 00:51:22 - The Importance of Love and Community, Tony emphasizes the importance of loving each other and creating a supportive community for LGBTQ+ adoptive families. He stresses the need to address separation, grief, and loss in adoption, as well as the intersectionality of race and sexual identity in households. 00:53:20 - Final Thoughts, Beth and Tony wrap up the conversation by encouraging listeners to share the episode with anyone who might benefit from the information and resources provided. They also invite listeners to join Beth's adoptive parent support group APtitude and support the podcast through Patreon.
If you're feeling the crushing disappointment and heartache of repeatedly hitting dead ends in your search for biological family despite exhaustive DNA testing and genealogy research, then you are not alone!
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Witness Julie's heartwarming tale of finding and reconnecting with her birth family.
- Grasp the significance of genetic genealogy in uncovering one's heritage.
- Examine the layered emotions and potential mental health challenges facing adoptees and their families.
- Evaluate the ethical concerns tied to DNA testing and gaining consent during the search for biological kin.
- Gather advice and best practices for adoptees venturing to locate their birth families.
My special guest is Julie Dixon Jackson, an empathetic and skilled genetic genealogist hailing from Southern California. As an adoptee born in Australia during the Baby Scoop era, Julie spent over two decades searching for her biological family. In this episode, she shares her expertise by helping fellow adoptees, NPEs, and donor-conceived individuals discover their origins through her company, CutOff Genes Investigations. Julie also hosts the CutOff Genes podcast, which delves into a variety of DNA-related topics, particularly in the context of adoption. Join Beth Syverson as she chats with Julie about the vital role genetic genealogy plays in uncovering family origins.
The resources mentioned in this episode are:
- Visit Cutoff Genes Investigations website to learn more about genetic genealogy and adoption search services: https://cutoffgenes.com/
- Check out Julie Dixon Jackson's podcast, Cutoff Genes, for insights into DNA and adoption-related topics: https://cutoffgenes.libsyn.com/
- Connect with Julie on Facebook for updates and news related to adoption and genetic genealogy: https://www.facebook.com/cutoffgenespodcast
Searching for Biological Family The search for one's biological family is a profound and often emotional experience. Adoptees may grapple with feelings of confusion, excitement, and anxiety as they embark on this journey. Patience, persistence, and resourcefulness are critical as adoptees navigate this path. The use of DNA testing and genealogical research has revolutionized this search and increased the likelihood of finding lost family connections. Julie Dixon Jackson's personal story, as shared in this Unraveling Adoption episode, demonstrates the determination and ingenuity needed to find her biological family. Despite facing numerous obstacles and uncertainties, Julie combined her skills in genetic genealogy with the use of DNA testing to progressively uncover her ancestry. Her experience serves as an inspiring testament to the power of persistence and the importance of seeking one's roots.
Learning About Her Family History The revelation of one's family history is a life-altering experience, providing a newfound sense of identity, belonging, and context. Adoptees who delve into their biological roots often find answers to long-held questions and develop a deeper understanding of themselves. However, this journey may also unearth difficult truths or cast current family relationships in a new light. In this Unraveling Adoption episode, Julie Dixon Jackson recounts her experiences of learning about her biological family's history. She describes the emotional rollercoaster she went through while uncovering new information and making sense of her findings. Julie's story showcases the importance of resilience, perspective, and support as individuals learn about their family history and forge new connections. The insights and lessons gleaned from her journey can serve as guidance and inspiration for others embarking on a similar path.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support UnravelingAdoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
Timestamped summary of this episode:
00:01:07 - Julie's Adoption Story, Julie Dixon Jackson shares her adoption story as a Baby Scoop era adoptee from Australia and discusses her journey to find her biological family, including the use of genetic genealogy. 00:04:00 - Effects of Adoption on Identity, Julie talks about the effects of adoption on her identity and why she struggled with independence and self-soothing. 00:08:22 - Finding Biological Father, Julie discusses her search for her biological father and meeting him in person. 00:12:10 - Realizing Truth About Biological Father, Julie talks about realizing the truth about her biological father and how it explained certain physical traits and characteristics. 00:13:57 - Searching for Biological Family, Julie discusses her background as an adoptee and her search for her biological family. She shares the challenges she faced, including limited information and uncooperative family members. 00:16:18 - Using Genetic Genealogy, Julie discusses her use of genetic genealogy to identify her biological father. She talks about her process of tracking down potential relatives and using DNA testing to narrow down her search. 00:21:05 - Learning About Her Family History, Julie talks about how her search for her biological family allowed her to learn about her family history going back to the 1700s. She discusses the importance of feeling connected to her past and having a sense of identity. 00:23:40 - Challenges of Being an Adoptee, Julie discusses the challenges she faced growing up as an adoptee, including feeling disconnected and invalidated by her adoptive family. She emphasizes the importance of adoptive parents listening to their children and acknowledging their individuality. 00:26:39 - Pursuing Her Passion for Singing, Julie talks about her passion for singing and how she was discouraged from pursuing it by her adoptive family. She shares her experience auditioning for a school musical and singing out loud for the first time, despite her family's disapproval. 00:28:20 - Early Life and Love for Music, Julie Dixon Jackson talks about her childhood and her love for music. She shares her experience of performing in front of her friends and family and how it changed her life. She discusses how her parents didn't think she could make a career out of her singing. 00:33:21 - Genealogy Career, Julie Dixon Jackson talks about her experience with genealogy work, which she started in her early 20s. She discusses how she got interested in it and how she started doing regular genealogy work. She talks about how DNA kits from companies like Ancestry and 23andMe have changed the face of being an adoptee. 00:38:54 - Challenges in Genealogy Work, Julie Dixon Jackson discusses the challenges of genealogy work, including cultural taboos and legal restrictions in different countries. She talks about how it can be a long process and requires patience. She mentions how she continues to work on open cases and looks for new matches every day. 00:40:40 - Reuniting Adoptees with Biological Families, Julie Dixon Jackson talks about her experience reuniting adoptees with their biological families. She discusses how many biological mothers have taken their secrets to their graves and how adoptees can feel emotional after a reunion. She shares her approach of trying to help with adoptees' emotional state after a reunion. 00:41:46 - Challenges with Private Investigators, Julie Dixon Jackson talks about the challenges of working with private investigators 00:42:51 - Starting the Search and Writing a Letter, Julie advises adoptees to start thinking about a letter they would like to write to their biological parents, assuming they may not hear back. She recommends being neutral and saying all the right things to make a good first impression, including being open to connecting but not insisting on it. 00:44:11 - Intermediary Services, Julie helps adoptees write letters and finds where biological parents live. She can send letters using publicly-known addresses or as an intermediary for addresses she has access to as an investigator. This approach gives the biological parent an opportunity to calm down and engage with the letter at their own pace. 00:46:07 - Counseling Adoptees, Julie advises adoptees to manage their expectations when searching for biological parents. There will be a honeymoon period if and when a reunion happens, but it will be a rollercoaster of emotions. Julie provides counseling and support for adoptees, taking calls and guiding them through the process. Most cases are solvable, but some are not due to endogamy, lack of matches or being from a different country. 00:49:01 - Understanding Cousin Relationships, Julie clarifies that first cousin's children are not second cousins but first cousins once removed.
After spending 15 years searching for answers, Rich Uhrlaub discovered that both his birth parents had passed away long before his quest had begun. This devastating realization fueled Rich's passion to become an advocate for truth and transparency in adoption, challenging an industry that had grown apathetic to the plight of those it served.
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Gain insight into adoptees' needs for truth and transparency, emphasizing the need for access to birth records and biological family information.
- Follow the path of Rich Uhrlaub as he champions legislative change through his experiences and advocacy work.
- Delve into the necessity of truth and transparency in adoption, exposing the realities of the multibillion-dollar adoption industry.
- Cultivate a cooperative environment for adoptees, adoptive parents, birth parents, and allies.
- Unleash the power of art and creativity as a means of promoting adoption awareness and self-expression.
My special guest is Rich Uhrlaub
Rich Uhrlaub is a passionate adoptee rights activist who has dedicated the past 25 years to promoting truth and transparency in the multibillion-dollar adoption industry. With his personal experience as an adoptee, Rich has been instrumental in advocating for legislative reform and providing support to fellow adoptees in search of their origins. As a board member of Adoption Search Resource Connection, he plays a crucial role in assisting adoptees during their search process. Rich's unwavering commitment to the cause extends to his creative pursuits, with an adoption-related musical in development called For the Record.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Richâs information:
- Adoption Search Resource Connection (ASRC): https://www.asrconline.org/
- ASRC playlists of adoption-related music, film, etc.: https://www.asrconline.org/film-music-stage-accordion
- Richâs For the Record musical: FTRMusical.com
- Male adoptees support group: https://www.maleadoptees.com/
- Male Adoptee/Alumni Impact Summit, May 12-14, 2023: https://www.maleadoptees.com/
- DONATE TO: Coalition for Truth & Transparency in Adoption (A 501(c)(4) Organization): https://www.adoptiontruthandtransparency.org/
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support UnravelingAdoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
The key moments in this episode are: 1:27 Richâs adoption story and childhood
8:50 How did Richâs interest in adoptee rights begin?
13:50 Whatâs happening with adoption legislation right now?
19:16 Getting thick skin while working for adoption reform
21:30 Normalizing adoptees seeking their own genealogy
22:40 âTruth and transparencyâ instead of âadoptee rightsâ
24:30 Uniting adoption constellation members in legislation activism
27:59 What can adoptive parents do to promote truth and transparency in adoption?
30:17 Support for male adoptees
36:20 Walking on eggshells as a movement
37:40 What can adoption allies do to help truth & transparency legislation?
After spending 15 years searching for answers, Rich Uhrlaub discovered that both his birth parents had passed away long before his quest had begun. This devastating realization fueled Rich's passion to become an advocate for truth and transparency in adoption, challenging an industry that had grown apathetic to the plight of those it served.
In this episode, you will be able to:
- Gain insight into adoptees' needs for truth and transparency, emphasizing the need for access to birth records and biological family information.
- Follow the path of Rich Uhrlaub as he champions legislative change through his experiences and advocacy work.
- Delve into the necessity of truth and transparency in adoption, exposing the realities of the multibillion-dollar adoption industry.
- Cultivate a cooperative environment for adoptees, adoptive parents, birth parents, and allies.
- Unleash the power of art and creativity as a means of promoting adoption awareness and self-expression.
My special guest is Rich Uhrlaub
Rich Uhrlaub is a passionate adoptee rights activist who has dedicated the past 25 years to promoting truth and transparency in the multibillion-dollar adoption industry. With his personal experience as an adoptee, Rich has been instrumental in advocating for legislative reform and providing support to fellow adoptees in search of their origins. As a board member of Adoption Search Resource Connection, he plays a crucial role in assisting adoptees during their search process. Rich's unwavering commitment to the cause extends to his creative pursuits, with an adoption-related musical in development called For the Record.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Richâs information:
- Adoption Search Resource Connection (ASRC): https://www.asrconline.org/
- ASRC playlists of adoption-related music, film, etc.: https://www.asrconline.org/film-music-stage-accordion
- Richâs For the Record musical: FTRMusical.com
- Male adoptees support group: https://www.maleadoptees.com/
- Male Adoptee/Alumni Impact Summit, May 12-14, 2023: https://www.maleadoptees.com/
- DONATE TO: Coalition for Truth & Transparency in Adoption (A 501(c)(4) Organization): https://www.adoptiontruthandtransparency.org/
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support UnravelingAdoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
The key moments in this episode are: 1:27 Richâs adoption story and childhood
8:50 How did Richâs interest in adoptee rights begin?
13:50 Whatâs happening with adoption legislation right now?
19:16 Getting thick skin while working for adoption reform
21:30 Normalizing adoptees seeking their own genealogy
22:40 âTruth and transparencyâ instead of âadoptee rightsâ
24:30 Uniting adoption constellation members in legislation activism
27:59 What can adoptive parents do to promote truth and transparency in adoption?
30:17 Support for male adoptees
36:20 Walking on eggshells as a movement
37:40 What can adoption allies do to help truth & transparency legislation?
In this weekâs Unraveling Adoption podcast, Beth talks with Astrid Castro, Founder and CEO of Adoption Mosaic. Sheâs a transracial intercountry adoptee, coming from Colombia at the age of 4 along with her older sister. She has been in reunion with her birth family since 2012. Her organization, Adoption Mosaic, creates a strong community of people who can envision a new future of ethical and conscious adoption. Adoption Mosaic provides adoptee-centered courses, speakers, and consultation services to teach adoption competency to anyone in the adoption constellation and beyond.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Astridâs information:
- Adoption Mosaic, including 15 min. free consultations: https://www.adoptionmosaic.com/
- âAdoptee searches for her long-lost birth mother in Colombia: Family Mattersâ article about Astridâs reunion in The Oregonian: https://www.oregonlive.com/living/2012/07/family_matters_adoptee_searche.html
- Astridâs Episode on Adoptees On with Haley Radke: https://www.adopteeson.com/listen/156
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
TIME STAMPS
2:55 Astridâs adoption story
7:07 How common is it to get pregnant after adopting?
9:40 Growing up in the US as a transracial adoptee, lacking language to speak about adoption
14:40 How supportive are Astridâs adoptive parents?
15:07 The need for more education for hopeful and new adoptive parents
22:08 Astridâs shocking story of how she became available for adoption through the black market, and the impact of losing her language
37:03 Astridâs reunion with her first mother
40:26 Astridâs adoptive parentsâ reaction to unethical adoption details that were discovered in reunion
43:15 Adoption Mosaicâs training offerings for adoptive parents
52:49 Adoption is an ongoing process for the rest of your life, not a one-time event
In this weekâs Unraveling Adoption podcast, Beth talks with Fred Nicora, a Late Discovery Adoptee, or LDA. Fredâs memoir is called Forbidden Roots: A Memoir of Late-Discovery Adoption. Because of his life experience, he now speaks out about truth and transparency in adoption. He has 13 years in recovery from substance use disorder and he now runs a small hobby farm in Southeastern Wisconsin.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Fredâs information:
- Forbidden Roots: A Memoir of Late Discovery Adoption: https://amzn.to/43CUJ6H
- Fredâs gluten free bread store: https://www.fredsbreadstore.com/
Other Resources:
-
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
-
Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:15 How late is late for a Late Discovery Adoptee? The story of Fredâs discovery of his adoption at age 41
4:08 Did Fred have any clues along the way?
5:54 Life struggles and identity issues that Fred attributes to his adoption, looking back
7:02 Was adoption even on his radar?
8:54 Fredâs relativesâ reactions after his discovery
12:19 Who am I now? The search process with limited access to his own documents
14:03 Wisconsin adoption legislation SB-15
16:20 Complicated reunion with his birth mom
19:25 Is there less stigma around birth mothers today?
24:05 Finding alcohol and using it to cope with complex feelings
26:22 Practicing faith and developing tools to stay spiritually fit
37:58 How does Fredâs LDA journey as an adoptee differ from someone whoâs always known they were adopted?
41:16 Late discovery strains relationships
44:04 Fredâs advice for adoptive parents
47:38 NPEs (Non Parental Event), DNA, and protecting birth moms
In this weekâs Unraveling Adoption podcast, Beth talks with Amanda Baum, co-founder of Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group. They recently launched a sister site called Fireside Adoptees Constellation which is open to anyone touched by adoption. Now living in North Carolina, she is an intercountry adoptee originally from Mexico but adopted into Utah. Amanda will be talking about how being a transracial adoptee has affected her life. And she will talk about ways she gets and gives support in the adoption community.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Amandaâs information:
- Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1411791922534076
- Fireside Adoptees Constellation Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/616673970200012
- Email Amanda at: FiresideAdoptees@gmail.com
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support UnravelingAdoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:33 Amandaâs childhood and adoption story as a Mexican intercountry transracial adoptee
4:38 Culture shock of moving to a bigger, more diverse school
6:48 The difficulties of growing up as a transracially adopted child
9:57 Creating a blended transracial family
12:33 Amandaâs unfruitful search (so far) and the start of her activity in the adoption community
14:23 Microaggressions and bullying makes her feel âfound out,â navigating race as a transracial adoptee
19:57 Connecting with other Mexican and Latin American adoptees
21:12 How and why Amanda started Fireside Adoptees
27:00 Why she named it Fireside Adoptees and what resources the groups offer
29:04 Letâs get curious!
This weekâs Unraveling Adoption podcast episode is unique because I am traveling to an adoption conference the week before this episodeâs release. So instead of editing a regular episode, I put together a short behind-the-scenes episode, highlighting all the things we offer to adoptive families and the larger community.
In this weekâs Unraveling Adoption podcast, Beth talks with Kevin Burgart from the Nashville area. Heâs an adoptee, adoptive parent of two children with significant special needs, and recently he became the adoptive parent of his grandchild as well. Since Kevin has been on both sides of this equation, he has a unique perspective on adoption. His life has been more challenging than most in many ways. We will dig into the obstacles heâs faced, and talk about what resources heâs found to help him cope.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Kevinâs information:
- Find Kevin on Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/kevin.burgart.1
Helpful resources mentioned in this episode:
- The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier: https://amzn.to/40bfXX0
- Journey of the Adopted Self by Betty Jean Lifton: https://amzn.to/42RZLMj
- Adoptees On podcast with Haley Radke: https://www.adopteeson.com/
Other Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support UnravelingAdoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:22 Kevinâs adoption story and childhood
2:53 How adoption affected Kevinâs teen years with emotional and behavioral issues
3:38 The start of Kevinâs search for his biological family, then blocked for 41 years
6:24 Adoptive parents were loving and helpful with search
8:04 New research about biological family in 1991, more falsehoods, adoptees beware!
9:21 Registration with databases, a few teasers
10:20 Finally received birth certificate after 48 years, but all his parents were gone by then
12:45 Pursuing other family members through DNA, expectation v. reality
17:35 Does Kevin feel âluckyâ to escape being raised by his birth family?
19:05 Connections with Kevinâs 15 bio siblings
21:52 Deciding to adopt older children with special needs
24:10 Disruptions and chaos with adopted siblings
27:20 Major struggles with adopted son because of so much trauma in his life
33:55 Adopting their sonâs infant child
37:30 How Kevin reckons with parenting these troubled children
39:00 Resources that have helped Kevin, and advice for adoptees in search
In this weekâs Unraveling Adoption podcast, Beth talks with Cindy Olson McQuay, an adoptee from Pennsylvania who is the co-founder, with Erin Cosentino, of Hiraeth Healing Retreats for Adoptees, DCPs (Donor Conceived People), LDAs (Late Discovery Adoptees), and NPEs (Not Parent Expected). Cindy is a baby scoop era domestic infant adoptee, and she had a rather idyllic childhood with well-informed and open adoptive parents, which was somewhat unusual at the time. Besides her work for Hiraeth, she advocates for adoption law reform and educates the public about separation trauma.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Cindyâs information:
- Hiraeth Hope & Healing Retreats: https://www.hiraethhopeandhealing.com/
- Email: info@hiraethhopeandhealing.com
Other things mentioned in this episode:
- The Chosen Baby book from Cindyâs childhood: https://amzn.to/3FwgCdn
- The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler: https://amzn.to/3JNM35j
- InterCountry Adoptee Voices (ICAV) with Lynelle Long: https://intercountryadopteevoices.com/
Other Resources:
- APtitude: A Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges - UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support UnravelingAdoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:25 Cindyâs adoption story and childhood
6:40 Cindyâs search for her birth family
10:35 Does a âgood adoptionâ preclude adoption trauma?
15:44 What prompted Cindy to become an adoption activist and search angel?
16:58 Adoption v. Guardianship
18:46 The problems with intercountry adoption and surrogacy
21:49 What is Hiraeth Hope & Healing?
25:25 The overlaps between adoptees, LDAs, DCPs, and NPEs
27:03 What do people experience at Hiraeth retreats?
31:40 Scholarships ARE available! And help them find mansions to host these retreats
35:17 Advice for non-adoptees and adoptive parents
In this weekâs Unraveling Adoption podcast, Beth talks with Greg Gentry, a domestic baby scoop era adoptee, born in California in 1969. He has been in reunion with maternal family members since 2006, and in 2021 also connected with his paternal side. Greg is a facilitator and interviewer for Fireside Adoptees, a private Facebook group founded in 2021, which is committed to additional outreach through its Fireside Adoptees public Facebook page and the Fireside Adoptees Constellation private Facebook group. Greg is also an administrator and facilitator within the Adoption Trauma Network and a leader for the New Hampshire chapter of Adoptees Connect. He enjoys connecting with others in the online adoptee community, and has found these interactions to be richly rewarding and supportive.
===============
đ Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
đSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Gregâs information:
- Greg on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/greggentry22/
- Greg on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100070242835691
- Fireside Adoptees private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1411791922534076
- Fireside Adoptees Constellation & Legislation private Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/616673970200012
- Adoption Trauma Network: https://www.facebook.com/groups/adoptiontrauma
- Adoptees Connect: https://adopteesconnect.com/
Other Resources:
- APtitude: A Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support UnravelingAdoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
2:26 Gregâs adoption story and childhood
9:30 Gregâs first blood relative he met - the importance of mirroring
11:50 The pros and cons of open adoption
13:50 Gregâs reunion experiences
19:10 âComing out of the fogâ
25:45 How Fireside Adoptees helped Greg transition out of the fog
32:00 Adoption Trauma Network description
34:50 What makes Adoptees Connect so special?
43:20 Gregâs advice to adoptive parents
In this weekâs Unraveling Adoption podcast, Beth talks with Kelsay Elizabeth Myers, a professional writer, artist, and somatic movement educator living in Marin County, CA. She is passionate about personal and social transformation for trauma healing. She's a Korean transnational adoptee who has been on a healing journey the last several years, after spending the first 32 years of her life in self-destructive behavior patterns.
Kelsay founded Dialogical Persona Healing Arts where she offers individual and group coaching programs and online courses that use expressive arts and transformational processes to help others discover new ways of understanding themselves, reclaim their creative flow and feel more settled in their whole system, so they, too can experience more power, excitement, and joy in life. She is currently a Ph.D student of Transformative Inquiry at California Institute of Integral Studies where she uses a variety of psychological approaches and arts-based research practices for trauma integration and wholeness.
===============
đ Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Kelsayâs information:
- Kelsayâs website: DialogicalPersona.com
- Kelsayâs podcast (co-host with Leela Davis): What I Didnât Tell My Therapist: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-i-didnt-tell-my-therapist-reboot/id1473447399
Other things mentioned in this episode:
- Tamalpa Institute: https://www.tamalpa.org/
- The Body Keeps the Score: https://amzn.to/3yumsYZ
Other Resources :
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Adoptee-Therapist Directory: https://growbeyondwords.com/adoptee-therapist-directory/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
2:00 Kelsayâs adoption story and childhood, including racist microaggressions and bullying
4:58 Kelsayâs racial identity
7:20 Which was worse, racial trauma or adoption trauma?
10:40 How Kelsayâs trauma manifested in abusive relationships
13:20 Intuitively realizing her sexual abuse in foster care through her âfelt senseâ
15:26 Conscious dancing to begin her healing journey
18:05 Kelsayâs training in somatic movement healing modalities
22:45 How somatic movement has helped Kelsay deal with racism triggers
24:39 Somatic movement to help kids
27:37 Autoimmune conditions and somatic movement
30:57 Our cultureâs mind/body split
32:05 Kelsayâs advice for transracial/intercountry adoptive parents
In this weekâs Unraveling Adoption podcast, Beth talks with Simon Benn, an adoptee living near York, England and host of Thriving Adoptees podcast. I was recently on his show, so I wanted him to be on our show as well. Trading podcasts across the globe. Simon has been on a healing journey for the last 13 or so years, after a discovery about his adoption that rocked his world. He wants to help other adoptees move toward healing with his podcast and webinars.
===============
đ Sign up for Unraveling Adoptionâs email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Simonâs information:
- Simonâs podcast Thriving Adoptees: https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/
- Bethâs episode on Thriving Adoptees: https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/personal-growth-with-adoptive-mom-beth-syverson
- Simonâs recent Healing My Primal Wound webinar: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnz7I7V_IOQ
Other resource mentioned in this episode:
- Rupert Spira: https://rupertspira.com/
More Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:18 Simonâs adoption story and childhood
4:14 What Simonâs adoption file revealed about his birth mother
7:35 Revelations and epiphanies
10:05 What is the primal wound? What is wounded? Simonâs new metaphor
18:55 Thereâs no such thing as a second-hand insight
21:23 Simonâs advice for adoptees coming âout of the fogâ
25:05 Simon reading his poems âBeneathâ and âAfter the Fogâ
In this weekâs Unraveling Adoption podcast, Beth talks with Simon Benn, an adoptee living near York, England and host of Thriving Adoptees podcast. I was recently on his show, so I wanted him to be on our show as well. Trading podcasts across the globe. Simon has been on a healing journey for the last 13 or so years, after a discovery about his adoption that rocked his world. He wants to help other adoptees move toward healing with his podcast and webinars.
===============
đ Sign up for Unraveling Adoptionâs email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Simonâs information:
- Simonâs podcast Thriving Adoptees: https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/
- Bethâs episode on Thriving Adoptees: https://thriving-adoptees.simplecast.com/episodes/personal-growth-with-adoptive-mom-beth-syverson
- Simonâs recent Healing My Primal Wound webinar: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnz7I7V_IOQ
Other resource mentioned in this episode:
- Rupert Spira: https://rupertspira.com/
More Resources:
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:18 Simonâs adoption story and childhood
4:14 What Simonâs adoption file revealed about his birth mother
7:35 Revelations and epiphanies
10:05 What is the primal wound? What is wounded? Simonâs new metaphor
18:55 Thereâs no such thing as a second-hand insight
21:23 Simonâs advice for adoptees coming âout of the fogâ
25:05 Simon reading his poems âBeneathâ and âAfter the Fogâ
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Amanda Kari McHugh, an adoptee and an engagement journalist who is making her mark on the adoption community with her project Voices of Adoption which you can find on TikTok, Instagram, and Substack. In this project she elevates the voices of adoptees and birth mothers.
Stay tuned for ways you might be able to participate in this project!
Amanda is pursuing a double masters in journalism and engagement from grad school at the Craig Newmark Graduate School of Journalism at CUNY. She hopes to be a resource to help other adoptees and also to help other journalists find good adoption data.
===============
đ Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Amandaâs information:
- Voices of Adoption on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@voicesofadoption
- Voices of Adoption on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_voicesofadoption/
- Voices of Adoption on Substack: https://voicesofadoption.substack.com/
- Abortion/Adoption video collage that Amanda created: https://www.instagram.com/p/CdtUQEfj5dl/
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
-
Sara Jo the Adoptee Hag on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sajotheadopteehag?lang=en
-
Jack MacCarthy's website: https://www.romper.com/profile/rae-mariah-maccarthy-1911599
- Academia.edu: https://www.academia.edu/
- Boolean Search Terms: https://www.lifewire.com/boolean-search-terms-google-1616810
- Desiree Stevens and Access Connecticut: https://www.facebook.com/AccessConnecticut/
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:25 Amandaâs adoption story and childhood
4:25 Kudos to Amandaâs school counselor for knowing about adoption-competent therapists
5:50 Amandaâs attachment style is complicated
7:09 How lack of family medical history impacts adoptees
10:00 Advocating for adoption reform and dealing with pushback
12:00 Blasting apart adoption myths, getting people angry at her
14:35 Pushback has improved Amandaâs reporting
15:20 Where does Amanda find adoption data? Who keeps track of âgoods transferred?â
18:50 Privacy laws - are they a farce?
20:00 The Yelp of adoption agency databases idea
20:44 Voices of Adoption on TikTok and Instagram
22:38 Objectivity is a myth but we can try to understand the other points of view
24:11 What exactly is engagement journalism?
25:00 âDomestic supply of infantsâ necessitated discussion about adoption and abortion
27:12 Amandaâs TikTok video (audio only)
29:25 The aftermath of the viral video
32:37 How the Voices of Adoption on Substack will create community-sourced resources
35:50 Amandaâs dream for collective members to get paid for their emotional labor
39:09 How to participate in Amandaâs projects and join the Voices of Adoption community
41:04 The importance of moderators in social media
44:11 How we can share our stories safely and authentically to help people coming out of the fog
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Amanda Kari McHugh, an adoptee and an engagement journalist who is making her mark on the adoption community with her project Voices of Adoption which you can find on TikTok, Instagram, and Substack. In this project she elevates the voices of adoptees and birth mothers.
Stay tuned for ways you might be able to participate in this project!
Amanda is pursuing a double masters in journalism and engagement from grad school at the Craig Newmark Graduate School of Journalism at CUNY. She hopes to be a resource to help other adoptees and also to help other journalists find good adoption data.
===============
đ Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Amandaâs information:
- Voices of Adoption on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@voicesofadoption
- Voices of Adoption on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_voicesofadoption/
- Voices of Adoption on Substack: https://voicesofadoption.substack.com/
- Abortion/Adoption video collage that Amanda created: https://www.instagram.com/p/CdtUQEfj5dl/
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- Academia.edu: https://www.academia.edu/
- Boolean Search Terms: https://www.lifewire.com/boolean-search-terms-google-1616810
- Desiree Stevens and Access Connecticut: https://www.facebook.com/AccessConnecticut/
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:25 Amandaâs adoption story and childhood
4:25 Kudos to Amandaâs school counselor for knowing about adoption-competent therapists
5:50 Amandaâs attachment style is complicated
7:09 How lack of family medical history impacts adoptees
10:00 Advocating for adoption reform and dealing with pushback
12:00 Blasting apart adoption myths, getting people angry at her
14:35 Pushback has improved Amandaâs reporting
15:20 Where does Amanda find adoption data? Who keeps track of âgoods transferred?â
18:50 Privacy laws - are they a farce?
20:00 The Yelp of adoption agency databases idea
20:44 Voices of Adoption on TikTok and Instagram
22:38 Objectivity is a myth but we can try to understand the other points of view
24:11 What exactly is engagement journalism?
25:00 âDomestic supply of infantsâ necessitated discussion about adoption and abortion
27:12 Amandaâs TikTok video (audio only)
29:25 The aftermath of the viral video
32:37 How the Voices of Adoption on Substack will create community-sourced resources
35:50 Amandaâs dream for collective members to get paid for their emotional labor
39:09 How to participate in Amandaâs projects and join the Voices of Adoption community
41:04 The importance of moderators in social media
44:11 How we can share our stories safely and authentically to help people coming out of the fog
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Paul Kimball, an adoptee from Northern California and author of the memoir We Are All Human Beings: An Adoptee Ponders. Music has always been a huge part of his life, and he currently works as a conductor, horn player, and school music teacher. He didnât realize it at first, but when he reunited with his birth mother, the passion for music made sense. In this episode, we talk about the power of music to transcend time and space and connect individuals deeply.
===============
đ Sign up for Unraveling Adoptionâs email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Paul Kimballâs information:
- Paulâs memoir We Are All Human Beings: An Adoptee Ponders : https://amzn.to/3luMZBQ
- Paulâs Adoptees On podcast episode with Haley Radke: https://www.adopteeson.com/listen/183
Also mentioned in this episode:
- Jacqueline Du Pre playing Elgarâs Cello Concerto: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUgdbqt2ON0
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:35 Paulâs adoption story
4:10 Paulâs magnetic attraction to all things Armenian
5:40 Paulâs love for classical music, especially cello music
7:29 Finding Paulâs birth family
9:52 Paulâs adoptive familyâs support of his music aspirations
11:30 Paulâs dream to perform with his birth mother
12:25 Spending time with Paulâs mom and half-sister, then his secondary rejection
15:44 Honoring his mother with a memorial
17:45 How music has kept Paul connected to his mother, and keeps Beth connected to her adopted son
21:45 The importance of family preservationism and listening to adult adoptees
23:35 How Paul and Joey process their intense emotions
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: On Saturday, March 11, Unraveling Adoption is hosting a free webinar called Moving Beyond Adoption - An Immersive Experience with Kat Linquist so you all can experience this amazing work that Kat does. Itâs 10am-noon PST on Saturday, March 11, 2023. Tickets here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/moving-beyond-adoption-an-immersive-experience-with-kat-linquist-tickets-532651855037
If you are curious about how Magnetic Mind can help you in your adoption journey - or with any blockage in your life - come on over on March 11 to check it out. The event is open to anyone 18 and older. You donât have to be an adoptee to attend.
===============
In this weekâs Unraveling Adoption podcast, Beth talks with Kat Linquist, an adoptee, an intuitive, and a practitioner of a transformation modality called Magnetic Mind. She has done her own release work around her adoption trauma using this process based on neuroscience. She will be sharing her adoption story and how she helps adoptees heal with this healing modality. At the end of this episode we will be telling you about a free workshop where Kat will be demonstrating this technique. So stick around to the end to hear all the details.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Katâs information:
- Katâs email: kat@s-elfacademy.com
- Katâs website: https://beyondadoption.getlearnworlds.com
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
TIME STAMPS
2:02 Katâs adoption story - the big disconnect
8:00 What prompted Katâs search for her birth family?
11:00 Katâs first experience with Magnetic Mind - a major transformation and reunion
22:00 No human can escape without some sort of trauma. How can we rewrite our trauma narrative?
28:51 Magnetic Mind can take people back into their lineage to repair damage done
30:57 Does Kat consider herself healed from adoption trauma?
34:25 Focusing on what we want to create through Magnetic Mind
36:53 Beth shares her experience with Kat using Magnetic Mind on her
46:25 What modalities are wrapped into Magnetic Mind?
49:35 How Kat works with people who want to heal using Magnetic Mind, including a FREE webinar weâre hosting on March 11 (Get FREE tickets here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/moving-beyond-adoption-an-immersive-experience-with-kat-linquist-tickets-532651855037)
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: This episodeâs guest, Paul âJackâ Fronczak, is also in the documentary Reckoning with the Primal Wound by Rebecca Autumn Sansom. Unraveling Adoption is hosting a live online screening of the film on Saturday, February 4 at 4pm PST / 7pm EST. Tickets at Reckoning2.Eventbrite.com
===============
In this weekâs Unraveling Adoption podcast, Beth talks with Paul âJackâ Fronczak, a military veteran, musician, published author, executive producer, and former actor, who now works for a non-profit organization devoted to changing lives. An avid bass guitarist and motorcyclist, Paul now lives in Las Vegas, and has a teenage daughter he calls "the greatest kid in the world." Eleven years ago, Paul took a test that disproved the story he'd been told about his identityâthat he was "Baby Fronczak," the infant who'd been kidnapped from a Chicago hospital in an infamous 1964 crime. In an instant, he became a man without a name, birthday, or medical historyâan "unidentified living person," in official terminology. Paul has spent the last ten years searching for answersâand looking for the real Paul Fronczak.
Jackâs story is about identity - or lack thereof. I bet most people struggle with questions of identity - Who am I? What makes me me? What traits of my ancestors are carried on with me? Adoptees, Donor-conceived people, and Not Parent Expected individuals struggle with identity quite a bit more. And Jackâs identity is the biggest mystery I could think of. In this conversation with Jack, we talk about how his lack of identity has affected him, so we can learn how better to take care of our other-than-biological children in our community.
===============
đ Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Paul âJackâ Fronczakâs information:
- Jackâs website: FronczakFiles.com
- Inside Editionâs piece about Jackâs life: https://www.insideedition.com/media/videos/man-searching-for-his-true-identity-discovers-hed-been-kidnapped-as-a-baby-57710
- 20/20 episode with Barbara Walters: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhrfT8cZLAM
- The CNN documentary The Lost Sons, available on Discovery+: https://www.discoveryplus.com/show/the-lost-sons-us
- Jackâs first book The Foundling: The True Story of a Kidnapping, a Family Secret, and My Search for the Real Me: https://amzn.to/3DlS5GF
- Jackâs second book True Identity: Cracking the Oldest Kidnapping Cold Case and Finding My Missing Twin: https://amzn.to/3HAFFNS
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- CeCe Moore: https://www.cecemoore.com/
- Finding Your Roots: https://www.pbs.org/weta/finding-your-roots
- Untangling Our Roots Conference by National Association of Adoptees and Parents (NAAP) and Right to Know - March 30 - April 1, 2023 in Louisville, Kentucky: https://naapunited.org/conferences
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support UnravelingAdoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
2:39 Jackâs continuously unraveling life - Cliffâs Notes version of Jackâs life
5:35 Did Jack find the âreal Paul?â 7:30 Jack always played a part. No wonder he became an actor! Discovering the kidnapping story
11:35 Did Jack feel like an adoptee growing up?
13:25 The student nurse who helped Jackâs mom after the kidnapping
14:34 Jackâs infancy with his twin Jill
17:20 Jackâs relationship to his [adoptive] parents, foster family, and first family. 2 out of 3 ainât bad??
20:30 Jackâs lifelong effects of early chaos and abandonment by his first family
23:50 What is it like being an âunidentified living person?â
26:49 What adoptive parents and allies can do to help adoptees and other âunidentified living personâs
32:20 Jackâs ongoing mysteries make for an interesting life, and weâre all discovering who we really are
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Ann Weaver Melendy from Oregon, a baby scoop era adoptee who was taught by her adoptive family to not speak about her adoption and to not ask questions. Well that backfired big time, because not only is she now sharing her story on this public podcast and elsewhere, but she is also an adoptee rights advocate. Ann is particularly bothered that adopteesâ vital records often donât include the true data about their birthdate, birth parents, and more. She has fought for her own birth certificate to list the correct information - and she won! Her ingenious approach to adopteesâ rights will inspire other adoptees to fight for their own corrected documents.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Annâs information:
- Annâs bipartisan bill SB573 going through the Oregon legislature in 2023, sponsored by Sen. Sara Gelser Blouin [D] and Sen. Brian Boquist [R] (The public is welcome to comment on the bill at this link): https://legiscan.com/OR/bill/SB573/2023?fbclid=IwAR2Z_8_LD_BgX2-8qx12haoASLXUzMNN7UC5E1OSR7ViX1CH8QAQwvCUrQ0
- KATU news segment video with Ann and her dad after their reunion: https://katu.com/news/local/salem-woman-finds-father-through-dna-test
- Find Ann on Facebook as Ann Weaver Melendy. If writing a note to her on Facebook Messenger, make sure ADOPTION Is the first word.
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:30 Annâs childhood and basic adoption story
2:46 Whenâs her birthday? A complicated question!
5:55 Why her birth certificate lists the wrong birth date
9:07 Meeting her birth father
14:14 Synchronicities of genetics
15:25 Original Birth Certificate (OBC) and other types of birth certificates
19:24 Birth certificate as receipt
22:56 How the LGBTQ+ community benefited Ann and other adoptees in Oregon with the tri-party adoption bill
29:13 How Annâs new bill differs from the tri-party adoption law
31:14 Why is it so important for adoptees to have the correct information on their birth certificate?
33:00 Is Ann available to help other adoptees navigate vital records?
In this weekâs Unraveling Adoption podcast (formerly Safe Home Podcast), Beth talks with Alex Baquero, a 31yo from Philadelphia who was adopted at 6 months old from Colombia. His adoptive parents are white, and he started reuniting with his birth family 12 years ago. He shares his adoption story and his complicated reunion story, plus he lets us know what tools have helped him along the way.
===============
đ Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption's email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Alexâs information:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindmentorllc/
- Voices of the Adopted podcast episodes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1518016505 ===
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:33 Alexâs adoption story as a child
5:15 Both extremes are invalidating to adoptees
6:46 Growing up Colombian in a white family and white suburbia
8:02 Alexâs initial search for his birth family
10:30 How adoptive parents often get in the way of adopteesâ healing and reunion
16:10 Reuniting with his Scandinavian sisters
19:24 How Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) has helped Alex
21:30 How Alex got connected with his birth mother in Colombia
24:22 The complexities of traveling in Colombia
25:35 How Covid added to the complexity of reunion with his mother
28:25 Meeting Alexâs fatherâs side of the family, unexpectedly
31:10 How Alex managed his emotions and thinking during his time in Colombia
33:35 Aftermath back at home
37:55 Telling his adoptive parents about his reunion
39:03 Going forwardâŚwhat are Alexâs future plans?
We are just switching our name from Safe Home Podcast to Unraveling Adoption, and this is the first full episode under our new name.
In this weekâs episode, Beth Syverson chats with Leslie Pate Mackinnon, a licensed clinical social worker and an adoption activist for the past 30 years. Leslie is a seasoned and well-respected therapist in the adoption community. She is a nationally known trainer who travels across the country training therapists, agencies and child welfare workers about the psychological issues inherent in adoption and third-party reproduction. Following four decades of successful practice in Atlanta, Leslie and her husband relocated to Asheville, NC.
Leslie comes to this work by way of being a birthmother in the 1960s, the Baby Scoop Era. She understands adoption trauma deeply, both as a lived experience and as a therapist for all members in the adoption constellation - adoptees, birthparents, and adoptive parents. On Safe Home Podcast, weâve had 8 episodes so far with adoptees, and 1 episode with another adoptive parent, but this is our first episode from the birth momâs perspective, which is a super-critical piece of this puzzle.
===============
đ Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Leslieâs information:
- Website: https://lesliepatemackinnon.com/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063478541379
- Email: lesliepatemackinnon@gmail.com
Other resource mentioned in this episode:
- Paul Sunderlandâs speech about adoption & addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3pX4C-mtiI
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
www.UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
2:00 All voices in adoption matter, and adopteesâ voices come first
3:16 Positive adoption language and listening to adult adoptees
6:35 Birth parentsâ stories are often suppressed
8:16 Leslieâs birth parent experience #1
16:08 Adoptees and birth parents both get stuck in cultureâs judgements about adoption
17:03 Coping with trauma with substances, the intersection between adoption and addiction
25:30 Adoptive parents talking openly with their children about their adoption
28:35 Leslieâs birth parent experience #2
33:25 Birth parentsâ difficulties, then and now
39:00 The importance of family preservation, and Follow the Money
44:10 How Leslie & Beth are dealing with their past regrets
In this very special episode, Beth Syverson, host of Safe Home Podcast, explains her pivot to Unraveling Adoption. This is the last episode of Safe Home, and the first episode of Unraveling Adoption. She explains what the new title means, what the future plans are, and she provides ways for everyone to help get the new podcast launched.
===============
đ Sign up for our email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Bethâs information:
- Email Beth at Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
- Become a Patreon supporter at Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
- APtitude Support Group Membership Form (FREE): https://forms.gle/vD8mfJy3fJUDmCJe6
- More info about APtitude: A Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: SafeHomeFamilies.com/APtitude
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- Relapse episodes:
- Episode 6: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/3Lt2RSxK1vb
- Episode 12: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/AHNFiRxK1vb
- Episode 13: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/3Fsl3QxK1vb
- Spencer LaJoyeâs episode: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/episodes/Non-Binary-Musician-Spencer-LaJoye---Ep-37-e1guoa5
- Brenda Bash-Cooperâs episode: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/episodes/Adoption-Story-with-Brenda-Bash-Cooper---Ep-21-e1c2v4r
- Cough Medicine episode: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/sMAeRLrM3vb
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at Hello@SafeHomeFamilies.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome
www.SafeHomeFamilies.com
Unraveling Adoption is created by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Amanda Mullins
Email questions or comments to Beth@UnravelingAdoption.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:22 Thanks to all those whoâve helped make Safe Home Podcast happen, and some stats
9:17 Why are we making the pivot to Unraveling Adoption?
10:50 What does Unraveling Adoption mean?
13:05 What are our plans for the future?
16:26 Ways you can help
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Lainie Liberti and her 23yo son Miro Siegel.
Lainie Liberti is a best selling author, international speaker, teen mentor, worldschooler, partnership parenting paradigm advocate and mother. In 2012 Lainie co-founded Project World School with her son and has lived in community with over a 100 teens in over 20 international locations. Lainie founded Transformative Mentoring for Teens in 2020 in response to the growing need to support teen's mental health. Lainie just released her first book, Seen, Heard & Understood, Parenting and Partnering with Teens for Greater Mental Health, the number 1 best seller on Amazon in the Parenting New Releases. Her book is right in line with what weâve been advocating here at Safe Home - that parents do their own work and partner with their kids instead of being an authoritarian figure over them.
Beth talks with Lainie and Miro about unschooling and worldschooling because they lead a fascinating alternative life. But over the top of everything is the partnership that theyâve nurtured which allows them to both live as their fully authentic selves.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Lainieâs & Miroâs information:
- Lainieâs LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/ilainie
- Transformative Mentoring for Teens - Mentoring & Courses designed to transform teen's lives (and yours): https://transformativementoringforteens.com/
- The Partnership Parent Movement - Children need connection, not coercion. Together, we will change the world, one family at a time: https://partnershipparent.com/
- Project World School - Inspiring Temporary Lear ning Communities for Teens & Young Adults: https://ProjectWorldSchool.com
- Project World School Family Summit - Biannual community gatherings for worldschooling families interested in travel, education and wellness: https://worldschoolfamilysummit.com
- We Are Worldschoolers - Gain access to exclusive supportive community, articles, interviews, worldschooling mini-courses, and resource lists: https://weareworldschoolers.org/
- Lainieâs & Miroâs TEDx talk - Making The World Our Classroom: https://youtu.be/bH-kQJ10WWo
- Lainieâs book Seen, Heard & Understood: Parenting & Partnering with Teens for Greater Mental Health: https://www.amazon.com/Seen-Heard-Understood-Parenting-Partnering-ebook/dp/B0B1XKB1WN
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- The Hub - Miroâs current employer - TheHub.community
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
www.SafeHomeFamilies.com
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Carolyn Balagot, an advocate for neurodiverse people. In her family, she, her husband, and her 3 kids are all neurodiverse in one way or another - primarily with ADHD or Autism Spectrum Disorder. She has worked at her childrenâs school as a 504 case carrier, advocating for studentsâ needs. Her kids all went to school at Orange County School of the Arts, where I used to teach and which I highly respect and admire. Especially in an arts school, all kinds of diversity are celebrated, including neurodiversity. Carolyn will talk to us about her familyâs challenges and triumphs, and help us know how to better advocate for our neurodivergent loved ones or community members.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Carolynâs information:
- Facebook group Cypress Neurodiversity Friends: https://www.facebook.com/groups/711278036622893/
- Carolynâs Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/carolyn.balagot
- Carolynâs Instagram page: https://www.instagram.com/redmama73/
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- Orange County School of the ARTS (OCSA): https://www.ocsarts.net/
- Penguin meme showing autism spectrum diversity: https://www.facebook.com/theicannetwork/photos/a.278436099008274/1965490896969444
- Understood website - information about 504s and IEPs: Understood.org
- Neurodivergent Rebel, Lyric Holmansâ website: https://neurodivergentrebel.com/
- Neurodivergent Rebelâs Safehome Podcast episode: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/fo36eVKbPvb
- Autistic Self-Advocacy Network (ASN): https://autisticadvocacy.org/
===============
Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome
www.SafeHomeFamilies.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:52 Carolynâs familyâs background and diagnoses
8:20 High-functioning and low-functioning are outdated. What vocabulary is correct nowadays?
9:50 Autistic people? Or people with autism?
12:35 504 v IEP accommodations
13:55 Is anxiety a neurodivergence? Is a student with anxiety eligible for accommodations?
15:48 Cum. files and labeling in school
18:33 What is ableism? What are some examples of ableist policies in school and work?
21:20 Did Carolynâs childâs diagnosis make things better or worse?
22:30 Carolyn and her husband are waiting to get their own diagnosis of autism confirmed
25:40 How job interviews are challenging for autistic people and how to make them better
27:30 The powerful concept of universal design
28:43 Carolynâs advice for parents who think their child might be neurodiverse
30:10 Why to steer clear of ABA - listen to adult autistic people
35:15 Why Autism Speaks is problematic
37:40 Carolynâs advocacy for the LGBTQ community too
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Amanda Lipp, a documentary filmmaker and social entrepreneur working at the intersection of mental health, storytelling, and technology. Amanda has produced over 80 short documentaries about mental health and social impact - covering topics such as youth psychosis, schizophrenia, art therapy, cyberbullying prevention, and housing relief from wildfires. A passionate mental health advocate, she has given over 150 speeches around the U.S. since age 18 sharing her journey navigating the mental health system. Amanda is passionate about mental health leadership, policy change, and tying films to mental health research studies. She serves on the Mental Health Advisory Panel at Google, and the Interdepartmental Serious Mental Illness Committee (ISMICC) created by Congress to advise on federal mental health policy. Amanda formerly served on the board of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), the largest grassroots mental health nonprofit in the U.S.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
SafeHomeFamilies.com
===============
RESOURCES:
Amandaâs information:
- Website: https://amandalipp.com/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/amandalipp01
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amandalipp/
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): https://nami.org/
- The Truman Show (film): https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120382/
- The Truman Show Delusion (disorder): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Truman_Show_delusion
- 988 Lifeline: https://988lifeline.org
- Pride & Joy Foundation: https://www.prideandjoyfoundation.com/
- Elena Joy Thurstonâs Safe Home Podcast episode about Pride & Joy Foundation: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/klzqKKg6Evb
===============
TIME STAMPS:
2:09 Amandaâs lived experience with mental illness
6:05 Sports injuries and Amandaâs depression
9:50 Using drugs like an emotional credit card
11:05 Amandaâs support system and challenges of parenting a âproblem childâ
12:55 Amandaâs major mental breakdown as a college freshman - The Truman Show Delusion
15:08 Psychiatrist ICU and outpatient services from induced psychosis
17:50 Amandaâs daily regimen to maintain her mental health
22:40 Behind the scenes in mental health organizations
24:00 Amandaâs reprise of The Truman Show Delusion and how her parents handled it
26:37 The danger of cops responding to mental health crises, and the hope of the new 988 lifeline
28:50 The importance of compassion and curiosity in responding to psychiatric emergencies
31:50 Advice for how to be supportive to your loved one struggling with mental illness
33:46 How Amandaâs sexual identity intersected with her mental health
35:50 Seek out access points for professional help before a crisis occurs
36:43 Befriending all parts of ourselves with grace, and lean on community
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Doris Blumenthal, an adopted person who lives in Northern California. Her adoption story is one of the adoptee narratives in the documentary Reckoning with the Primal Wound, which youâve probably heard me talking about before. The filmmaker Rebecca Autumn Sansom was on this podcast in Episode 30. If you havenât seen Reckoning with the Primal Wound yet, I highly recommend it, and I also want to let you know that this episode contains spoilers.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Resources mentioned in this episode:
- Reckoning with the Primal Wound documentary: https://reckoningwiththeprimalwound.com/
- ALMA - The Adoptees' Liberty Movement Association: https://thealmasociety.org/
- The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier: https://www.amazon.com/Primal-Wound-Understanding-Adopted-Child/dp/0963648004
- Safe Home Bookclub - free discussion questions for The Primal Wound: https://bookclubs.com/safe-home-book-club/join/
- APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoptionâs Challenges: SafeHomeFamilies.com/APtitude
===============
Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome
www.SafeHomeFamilies.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
2:00 Dorisâ adoption story, crossing paths with birth mother in the early days
6:40 The overwhelming need to know oneâs biological roots
9:16 Dorisâ adoptive parentsâ attitude about adoption
11:54 The mysterious photograph and the broken relationship with Dorisâ bio brother
13:35 Complex emotions with Dorisâ paternal sisters
14:36 Starting the pre-internet search process
18:50 First attempt at finding birth mother
20:15 How DNA searches help
21:11 A common problem for adopted people: lack of health history
21:56 Minnesota sisters and other maternal relatives
22:54 How Arizonaâs open records laws enabled Doris to find her birth mother
25:05 Finding Dorisâ birth motherâs home - and SPOILER ALERT if you havenât seen the Reckoning film yet
28:00 Dorisâ brotherâs attitude toward Doris, privacy v. right to know
31:35 Another amazing coincidence
33:40 More details about the reunion day
38:45 Did she find the mysterious photograph or any other mementos?
40:35 How Doris handles her complicated grief
43:45 Most adopted people have a deep desire to meet their natural parents
45:05 Dorisâ dream of ideal records for adopted people
47:33 Backlash from sharing her story in the Reckoning with the Primal Wound documentary
51:34 Dorisâ advice for adopted people who are contemplating reunion, and book recommendation
53:30 Dorisâ book recommendation - The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier
56:37 Dorisâ advice for adoptive parents regarding reunion
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Bonnie Harris, a New Hampshire-area director of Connective Parenting, where she is a parent educator, counselor, coach, and speaker. She wrote two parenting books: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids Youâll Love to Live With. AND she has her own podcast Tell Me About Your Kids where anyone can listen in on her parent coaching sessions. Bonnie has a masterâs degree in Early Childhood Education And is the proud mother of two adult children raised with her connective approach.
In todayâs episode, Bonnie will help us answer the question: HOW CAN WE BE MORE CONNECTED WITH the KIDS in our lives?
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Bonnieâs information:
- Bonnieâs email: bh@bonnieharris.com
- Bonnieâs Website: https://bonnieharris.com/
- Bonnieâs Book: When Your Kids Push Your Buttons and What You Can Do About It: https://bonnieharris.com/product/when-your-kids-push-your-buttons-2/
- Bonnieâs Book: Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids Youâll Love to Live With: https://bonnieharris.com/product/confident-parents-remarkable-kids-2/
- Bonnieâs podcast, Tell Me About Your Kids: https://bonnieharris.com/podcast/
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- The Orchid and the Dandelion: Why Some Children Struggle and How All Can Thrive by W. Thomas Boyce, M. D.: https://www.amazon.com/Orchid-Dandelion-Children-Struggle-Thrive/dp/1101946563
- Hilltop Preschool: https://www.hilltoppreschool.com/
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at Hello@SafeHomeFamilies.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome
www.SafeHomeFamilies.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:26 How Bonnie parented her own (now grown) children
6:08 How Bonnie developed her connective parenting model by learning about herself
9:25 The Dandelion Child and the Orchid Child
13:00 Bonnieâs own terms: The Harmony Child and The Integrity Child
13:50 Characteristics of The Harmony Child - compliant but harbors shame
16:40 How Connective Parenting focuses on the parents, not the child
22:56 Connecting with your childâs emotional state instead of their behavior
28:17 Connective parenting as an investment for your childâs self-confidence
31:04 Characteristics of The Integrity Child - demanding but knows what they want
36:07 How to turn the parenting ship around
40:26 How did Bonnieâs orchid daughter turn out?
44:10 âMy child is having a problem, not being a problem.â
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with a family friend of hers from church - Katherine Osborne. Katherine shared with the church that she was recently diagnosed with OCD - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I thought it might be good for our audience to learn from an eloquent teen how OCD feels. Nowadays people joke that they have OCD when theyâre bothered when something doesnât quite line up, or if one tile is a different color. You see memes about OCD all the time. But thatâs a very simplistic view of OCD that doesnât honor the lived experience of people who struggle with this disorder every day of their lives.
In this episode, Katherine explains her own lived experience of OCD, and she mentions things sheâs learned so far. But of course neither of us are OCD experts or healthcare professionals. We recommend getting professional help if you or someone you know might be struggling with OCD or any mental health issues.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Resources about OCD that Katherine recommends:
- OCD & Anxiety YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/c/ocdandanxiety
- What is Pure OCD? (School of Life Channel) https://youtu.be/Q9yKaI0vLJs
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at Hello@SafeHomeFamilies.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome
www.SafeHomeFamilies.com
===============
TIME STAMPS
1:12 Katherineâs hobbies & college activities
2:25 When did Katherineâs OCD symptoms start? (Thank you, COVID. âšď¸)
3:46 How Katherine experiences OCD in cycles - obsessions and compulsions
6:30 What are intrusive thoughts?
8:54 How does Katherine manage her OCD?
10:22 How Katherine was diagnosed with OCD. Did her diagnosis make things better or worse?
14:00 How OCD has affected Katherineâs social life
15:45 How do Katherineâs family and friends support her when sheâs having a bad OCD day?
18:11 Is OCD more common for adults and teens? Is it growing?
19:40 Katherineâs advice to parents of teens?
24:13 Can someone pull an OCD sufferer out of an OCD cycle?
27:20 First steps if youâre curious if you might have OCD
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Catherine Becker, founder of the support group called Joys and Challenges of Relative Caregivers. Sheâs a grandma who is raising her three young grandkids while her daughter struggles with addiction. When she tried to find a tribe of other relatives in her same situation, she didnât find a group that went deep enough or that was small enough to create personal connections. So she made her own group. Her organization is raising money to provide financial assistance to grandparents and other relatives who are caring for or who have adopted their family membersâ children.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Catherineâs information:
- Joys and Challenges of Relative Caregivers: https://www.facebook.com/groups/861031841262074
- Catherineâs email: cbecker.joysandchallenges@gmail.com
- Catherineâs phone number: 706-944-3454
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- Safe Homeâs episode about fentanyl: https://spotifyanchor-web.app.link/e/EMdGewW4Sub
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at Hello@SafeHomeFamilies.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome
www.SafeHomeFamilies.com
===============
TIME STAMPS
1:26 Catherineâs daughter Katieâs journey with addiction and incarceration
6:07 How Catherine plans to keep her young children away from drugs
8:50 How Catherine gained custody of her children
13:03 The boundaries Catherine has drawn with her daughter while incarcerated
16:45 How Catherine manages her emotions and gets support
19:11 How Catherine avoids feeling resentful toward her daughter
22:13 What kind of support do relative caregivers need?
24:26 Struggles Catherine has with her other adult children
26:40 Katieâs relationship with her kids
29:25 Family preservation, open adoption, and relinquishment trauma
33:23 How common is relative caregiving?
36:44 How can allies help relative caregivers?
41:08 Catherineâs advice for parents with teens
43:33 Katieâs mental health challenges
46:03 Catherineâs advice for relative caregivers
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
TRIGGER WARNING This episode will be talking directly about suicide, so this might not be for everyone to listen to right now. But we at Safe Home believe this is a very important topic so we hope youâll listen when itâs safe for you to do so.
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Frank King, a comedian who wrote for The Tonight Show for over 20 years and who performs standup worldwide. Along the way, he focused his creative attention on the topic of mental health, and specifically suicidality. Now known as the Mental Health Comedian, he talks openly about his own suicidality and, using humor as a tool to open up the conversation, he informs people about suicide prevention, destigmatizes mental illness, and helps people feel seen and heard. He has a few wonderful TED Talks: including A Matter of Laugh or Death, Mental with Benefits, and Born To Be Funny.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Frankâs information:
- Frankâs website: https://www.thementalhealthcomedian.com/
- Frankâs Tedx Talk âA Matter of Laugh or Deathâ: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBUXND5BD4M&t=967s
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- Suicide Prevention Lifeline - 988 - or text HELP to 741741 -https://988lifeline.org/
- The Message of You: Turn Your Life Story into a Money-Making Speaking Career by Judy Carter: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1250007100
- National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) - free resources: https://www.nami.org/
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at Hello@SafeHomeFamilies.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome
www.SafeHomeFamilies.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:30 Frank explains creating a career from comedy about suicide
7:48 Vulnerability is Frankâs superpower
9:58 Dentists, veterinarians, and construction workers have the highest incidence of suicide deaths
11:17 Frankâs mental illnesses - Major Depressive Disorder and Chronic Suicidality
15:35 Mental with Benefits - what if mental illness is a desirable disadvantage?
17:30 Frankâs self-care plan - 5 daily requirements to maintain his mental health
20:40 Suicide prevention tips
22:20 Does talking about suicide make it more likely someone would attempt suicide?
23:48 Weâre not saying âcommit suicideâ anymore - what do we call it now?
25:08 The new 988 suicide prevention lifeline
28:02 TRIGGER WARNING Frankâs intergenerational depression and suicide stories
32:09 Sugar addiction as a long-term death sentence
33:15 Ambivalence about suicide means most people can be saved from suicide; what are the warning signs?
36:33 Lock up your medications, parents!!
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Rev. Veronica Silva, a New Thought minister and a nurse who has struggled with alcoholism since she was young, but who has been in recovery for 26 years.
Veronica has been on a spiritual journey since June 24th, 1996, when she got sober from alcohol and drugs. She has had a passion for spirituality as a result of attending AA meetings and finding a God of her understanding. She is SO passionate about God that she recently became a Minister in 2020 - right in the middle of the pandemic. She is a true believer in going right into the discomfort of life to free ourselves from our suffering. She is a registered nurse and works at a cardiac procedures unit and loves helping others during their times of fear and anxiety.
Here at Safe Home, one of our biggest priorities is to destigmatize addiction and mental health, so by hearing stories from people like Veronica, we are able to humanize addiction, find commonalities, and discover the way others have found their healing path.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Veronicaâs information:
- Email: revveronicasilva@gmail.com r
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- NamastĂŠ Center for Spiritual Living: https://namastecsl.org/
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at Hello@SafeHomeFamilies.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome
www.SafeHomeFamilies.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:40 Veronicaâs childhood and early introduction to alcohol
3:16 Spinning all the plates during high school, self-medicating for anxiety
4:38 Unconscious intergenerational rage and machismo
7:30 How spirituality helped Veronica
9:50 Being a young mom in recovery and later supporting her son in recovery
13:22 Tools that helped Veronica with the initial stages of recovery
16:30 Stay-at-home drunk
17:33 Going back to school to become a nurse
19:12 Another new career as a minister
20:20 Veronicaâs advice for family or friends of addicted people, setting boundaries with love
22:19 High-functioning alcoholics
24:25 Alcoholâs prevalence in our culture
25:34 Meditation as a recovery tool
27:25 Learning how to set boundaries, resentment as a boundary indicator
29:05 Each personal growth journey looks different for everyone, just take a step any direction
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Emmalinda MacLean, co-founder of More Than Sex-Ed, a Los Angeles-based non-profit whose mission is to nourish healthy development through honest conversation about sex. She is the Director of Curriculum & Instruction at More Than Sex-Ed plus she wrote a childrenâs book around the topic of consent called âEverybody, Every Body!â In case you couldnât guess, this episode will talk openly about sexual topics, so this episode might not be safe for work.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Emmalindaâs information:
- More Than Sex-Ed website: www.morethansex-ed.org
- Emmalindaâs childrenâs book Everybody, Every Body! https://www.morethansex-ed.org/bookstore
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/morethansex_ed/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/morethansxed/
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- Unitarian Universalist Our Whole Lives programs: https://www.uua.org/re/owl
- Consent PDF: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1gQriYaFDc05goL_A0qMOYqugby3kxSzv/view?usp=sharing
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at Hello@SafeHomeFamilies.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome
www.SafeHomeFamilies.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:42 How Emmalinda landed a career in sex ed
4:24 Gender diversity is NOT a new thing
7:21 Parental backlash?
8:22 Bethâs sex ed experience at church
10:33 Teaching consent
12:00 Questions about âgay sexâ
14:00 What is sex?
15:52 Can parents rely on school or church to teach about sex?
17:53 Donât Freak Out!
19:33 Acknowledging pleasure reduces victimization
20:25 At what age can kids start learning about sex?
22:30 The topic of menstruation and Turning Red
25:23 How does gaming and social media affect our kids?
27:30 Whatâs the deal about furries?
30:18 Anonymous question box and porn
33:31 What about sexting?
35:19 What should parents do regarding phones?
36:03 How the fall of Roe will affect our teens
39:19 Emmalindaâs best piece of advice for parent
42:10 LGBTQ+ identities
44:00 What services does More Than Sex-Ed provide?
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
Safe Home is on vacation this week, so we're replaying one of our favorite episodes. When we started Safe Home Podcast in August 2021, this episode was the most important one we did. Our family wants everyone to know the dangers of having cough medicine and other OTC drugs unlocked and available to teens. Joey almost died twice from overdosing on Coricidin. Take a listen to one of our early episodes that you might have missed, and enjoy a new episode next week!
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Lori Holden, an adoptive mom of 2 teens, author of the book The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole, written with her daughterâs birth mom and featured on required reading lists with adoption agencies across the country. Sheâs also a blogger at LavenderLuz.com, and host of the podcast Adoption: The Long View. Lori is an influential voice in the adoption world, advocating for openness in all kinds of adoption relationships. She often keynotes at adoption conferences and speaks to new and prospective adoptive families, helping them realize the benefits to EVERYONE of maintaining transparency in the adoption process.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Loriâs information:
- Loriâs Website: LavenderLuz.com
- Adoption: The Long View podcast: https://www.adopting.com/adoption-podcasts/adoption-the-long-view
- The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption book: https://www.amazon.com/Open-Hearted-Way-Open-Adoption-Helping-dp-1442217391/dp/1442217391/
- Three Sides to Every Adoption: https://threesidesadoption.com/
- Instagram: @LavLuz
- Twitter: @LavLuz
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LavenderLuzWriter
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency book: https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Core-Issues-Adoption-Permanency-ebook/dp/B07PCWBZG1
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at Hello@SafeHomeFamilies.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome
www.SafeHomeFamilies.com
TIME STAMPS:
1:50 Parents doing their own work
3:39 How Lori learned adoption wasnât all unicorns and butterflies
5:05 Getting curious about adoption
6:40 A new child canât cure infertility grief
9:35 Loriâs familyâs adoption story
13:45 The importance of the biological bond
16:52 âYou are momâ
19:38 Both-And
20:58 Adoptive parents that are closed off completely
22:37 What should adoptive parents say when their child misses their birthparent?
27:10 Open adoptionâs trajectory
30:35 What ifâŚ
34:18 Listening to birth parents more
35:55 Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency
36:26 Constellation v Triad
38:35 Adoptive parents as the âbad guysâ
41:38 Is Lori anti-adoption?
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Nicole Miller, a certified drug and alcohol counselor and coach from Oregon who teaches addiction pharmacology at Portland Community College. Even though sheâs very knowledgeable about all kinds of drugs, I brought her onto Safe Home Podcast to help us focus on fentanyl. Itâs such a dangerous drug, and deaths from fentanyl poisoning have skyrocketed in just the last 2 or 3 years. Our family really wants to raise awareness about fentanyl, so Nicole will help us all understand the risks and what we can all do to prevent deaths caused by fentanyl.
This episode is dedicated to the memory of Helanna Johnson, our life coach Heather Rossâs daughter who died in December 2021 from fentanyl poisoning.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Nicoleâs information:
- Email: nic.triplett@gmail.com
Other resources about fentanyl:
- CDC: https://www.cdc.gov/opioids/basics/fentanyl.html
- National Harm Reduction Coalition: https://harmreduction.org/issues/fentanyl/
- Fentanyl test strips from Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/BTNX-Inc-Fentanyl-Liquid-Substances/dp/B09WWWDN21
- Narcan (available without a prescription at US pharmacies): https://www.narcan.com/
===============
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
www.SafeHomeFamilies.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
2:08 Nicoleâs personal journey with addiction and recovery
3:14 Safe Home lifts up harm reduction
4:40 What is fentanyl?
8:33 What forms does fentanyl come in? How does it get mixed in with other drugs?
9:55 Having Naloxone/Narcan available to save lives, but never use substances alone
10:45 Fentanyl test strips
13:20 How fentanyl makes people feel
14:30 The dangers of fentanyl with experimental use of substances
16:30 Bethâs challenges getting Narcan from the pharmacy
19:41 Encouraging our loved ones to carry Narcan with them
20:24 Meeting addicted people where theyâre at; facing reality and encouraging harm reduction
23:51 How can Narcan - the Lazarus drug - works
27:12 Opiates, pain, and tolerance
28:50 How Medical Assisted Treatment (MAT) affects the rates of recovery
33:48 When to use Narcan, signs of an opiate overdose
36:35 Fentanyl could be in ANYTHING off the streets
38:02 How does Nicole stay grounded working in the addiction field
39:15 What Nicoleâs recovery coaching looks like
40:50 All overdoses are accidental
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Colin Parrott, a 16-year-old from Huntington Beach who has been struggling with depression. He has gotten help with his mental illness from his awesome mom Debbi and from modern medicine. But perhaps the best tool heâs found has been poetry. Heâs written a whole book of poetry about his depression called Shards. The process of writing poetry has not only helped him make sense of his mental health, but his poems help others understand what he and others with depression go through. Near the end of the episode, Colin will be sharing a poem or two from his new book, so stick around until the end!
Joey and Beth both also struggle with depression, which you can hear about in Episode 11. It is something that our family is very open about, because you know what - depression kills! Weâre very glad that Colin was willing to come on Safe Home Podcast to share his story. We believe that the more people talk about things like depression and other mental health issues, the more weâll be able to help each other, and the more lives weâll save - quite literally.
===============
RESOURCES:
Colinâs information:
- Colinâs poetry book Shards: https://www.amazon.com/Shards-Colin-James-Parrott/dp/B0B1C1PMMD
- LA Times article about Shards: https://www.latimes.com/socal/daily-pilot/news/story/2022-06-04/shards-uses-poetry-to-tell-huntington-beach-teenage-poets-battle-with-depression
- Colinâs website: http://colinjparrott.com/
- Colinâs Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/colinjparrott
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at Hello@SafeHomeFamilies.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome
www.SafeHomeFamilies.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:36 Colinâs poetry-writing and other writing experience before his depression
3:32 How Colinâs depression and self-harm started and what it looked like
6:26 What Colinâs parents did to cause Colin to feel safe to tell them when he was self-harming
8:14 How meds worked for Colinâs depression
10:36 Colinâs poetry-writing in NYC
14:48 Colinâs advice for kids who are struggling with depression symptoms
17:30 Colinâs advice for parents of struggling kids
19:52 Colin reads his poem âSunrise Relapseâ
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Darcy Mittelstaedt, an adult adoptee originally from Korea, and adopted into a dysfunctional family in Nebraska at age 2. Once she came out of the fog, as they say in adoption-land, and came to terms with her relinquishment trauma and chaotic adoptive family life, she turned toward her adoption agency. She now helps inform the adoption agencyâs families about relinquishment trauma and the struggles that interculturally adopted people have. Hers is a story of resilience and hope that Iâm sure everyone, whether or not you are affected by adoption personally, will appreciate hearing.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Darcyâs information:
- Darcyâs email: darcymittelstaedt@gmail.com
- Darcyâs Facebook: www.facebook.com/DarcyMittelstaedt
- Darcyâs Instagram: www.instagram.com/dmittelstaedt/
- Darcyâs Twitter: @djmittelstaedt
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- Dylan International - https://www.dillonadopt.com/
- Our new Adoptive Parents support group, APtitude: safehomefamilies.com/APtitude
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at Hello@SafeHomeFamilies.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome
www.SafeHomeFamilies.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:50 Darcyâs difficult childhood story
5:00 Darcyâs parentâs controlling style
7:49 Food control
10:33 The impact of Darcyâs parentsâ divorce
12:14 The end of the road for Darcy
15:45 The family that rescued Darcy
18:05 Darcyâs compliant temperament and the role of the church
24:58 Darcyâs job at Boys Town
27:01 How Darcy collaborates with her adoption agency
32:15 Growing up as an Asian in a Nebraska farmtown
39:58 The importance of mirroring for adoptees
44:58 Hope for anyone who grew up in a dysfunctional family
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
This weekâs episode is very special because #1 Joey is with us for this one. And #2: Itâs going to be a 3-way conversation with me, Joey, and our life coach Heather Ross. If youâve listened to any of our episodes, youâve probably heard me mention her, or you might have heard one of her 2 episodes weâve already published - #10 and #34.
In this Safe Home episode, we will be talking about how the CRAFT method has helped our family, and youâll hear from both sides - the parentsâ side and the teenâs side. CRAFT is an acronym that stands for Community Reinforcement and Family Training. This is the approach that is scientifically proven to get more people into recovery than the old-fashioned approaches like tough love and interventions. The basis of CRAFT is the positive rewards that the loved one heaps on the addicted person when they are doing favorable behaviors. A key concept in CRAFT is that the relationship is more important than their sobriety. This method shifted our family so much that I credit it to keeping our son alive for these past few years. Iâm very excited to share some details of the CRAFT approach with you.
===============
RESOURCES:
Heatherâs information:
- Website: HeatherRossCoaching.com
- Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/living-with-your-childs-addiction/id1543141299
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change: https://motivationandchange.com/family-services/resources-for-families/
- The CRAFT Approach: https://drugfree.org/article/craft-approach-encouraging-healthy-constructive-positive-changes-family/
- Never Use Alone: https://neverusealone.com/ or 800-484-3731
- How to get free Narcan: https://www.goodrx.com/naloxone/narcan-naloxone-at-home-free
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
www.SafeHomeFamilies.com
TIME STAMPS:
3:30 Overview of Joeyâs struggles
6:40 Joeyâs new job has helped stabilize him
7:40 Alternative healing weâve found to be helpful
11:32 How Heather and CRAFT helped save our family
16:24 Putting our kids under the microscope
19:29 Addiction causes hiding and masking
21:20 Changing the conversation with our addicted loved one
23:28 What Joey and Helanna received from substances
27:04 The goal is CONNECTION, not sobriety
33:25 Why some parents have trouble with the CRAFT Method
36:30 Sliding through life pre-crisis, asleep at the wheel
39:08 What our kids want from us
41:16 Enabling, Narcan, ârock bottom,â and stigma
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
Movies & Conversations with Alex Kaplan from Of Substance
Saturday, September 10, 2022, 10am PST
OfSubstance.Eventbrite.com
===============
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Renee Knapp, a vice principal at a high school - or she would call it a deputy principal at a district high school where she lives in SW of Western Australia. But on top of that, sheâs an independent consultant at Think Effective Consultancy, where she works with schools, communities, and passionate individuals to improve mental health and wellbeing outcomes through a proven process and framework for change. She is the Chair and co-founder of a Community Based Mental Health Action Team and sheâs an Ambassador for the Australian & New Zealand Mental Health Association.
RESOURCES:
Reneeâs information: Think Effective Consultancy website: https://thinkeffective.com.au/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/www.thinkeffective.com.au
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thinkeffectiveconsultancy/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCn8qrZZ0hmktyC7Ot0QIXuw
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
Mind Matters (Australia): https://www.positiveschools.com.au/2012%20Mind%20Matters.html
GoZen videos for kids: https://gozen.com/
Reach Out for teens and young adults: https://au.reachout.com/
New 988 mental health crisis line: https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/988
www.SafeHomeFamilies.com
===============
TIME STAMPS
1:50 The Big Picture work that Renee is doing to help kidsâ mental health
2:20 Reneeâs background and interest in mental health
7:30 Behaviors are not the problem
11:05 Common mental health problems in high school
15:00 Advocating for a CULTURE of well-being at school and Bethâs horrible experience with Joeyâs high schoolâs culture
20:23 Examples of Reneeâs framework in action
27:10 Finding passionate individuals who can hop on board
29:50 Framework instead of programs
32:40 Suicide as leading cause of death
37:35 Creating a plan for well-being in the school and community
39:13 Belonging and connection is the cure
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
Movies & Conversations with Alex Kaplan from Of Substance
Saturday, September 10, 2022, 10am PST
OfSubstance.Eventbrite.com
===============
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Dayna Del Val and Mazz Marry, a married couple from North Dakota who are bringing alcoholism out into the light with their podcast, Daily Dose of Dr Marry & DD. They are here on Safe Home Podcast to talk about how addiction affects everyone, not just the person struggling with addiction. They, like our family, believe that the opposite of addiction is connection, and they are aiming to destigmatize addiction so we can all heal.
===============
MOVIES & CONVERSATIONS about addiction and shame event With Alex Kaplan from Of Substance Saturday, September 10, 10-11:30am PST $15 (Half off for Patreon members, Open House attendees come free) Get your ticket here: https://ofsubstance.eventbrite.com
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX ===============
RESOURCES:
Dayna & Mazzâs information: Daily Dose of Dr. Marry and DD: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCF3myrebU1m8PhVe1HutQ2w
Website: https://daynadelval.com/category/dr-marry-and-me/
Other resource mentioned in this episode:
IGNTD Recovery: https://www.igntd.com/
Other Resources:
Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson Email questions or comments to Safe Home at Hello@SafeHomeFamilies.com Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome www.SafeHomeFamilies.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:16 Why Dayna & Mazz decided to share their story on their podcast
4:03 How Dayna & Mazz met and their early years together
6:27 Early signs of alcohol derailing Mazz and their marriage, âmarried to a newbornâ
10:11 Daynaâs reaction to the negative aspects of alcohol on their marriage
12:06 How Mazzâs body made him rethink his relationship to alcohol
15:15 The overwhelming worry about cost of treatment
20:46 What Mazzâs rehab was like
23:45 The benefits of having a late-onset addiction
25:20 Daynaâs quirky addiction
26:54 The culture around alcohol
31:46 What was underneath Mazzâs alcohol misuse?
32:34 Redefining marriage after Mazzâs recovery and getting support for the spouse of the addicted person
41:28 Getting rid of shame
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
Movies & Conversations with Alex Kaplan from Of Substance
Saturday, September 10, 2022, 10am PST
OfSubstance.Eventbrite.com
===============
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Sue Bowles, an Ohio-based master certified life coach, memoirist, and public speaker focusing on the topics of disordered eating, anxiety, depression, and sexual assault survival and recovery. Her company is called My Step Ahead, whose motto is âyou only have to be a step ahead to help the person behind you.â That is certainly how we operate at Safe Home, too.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Sueâs information:
- Website: https://www.suebowles.com/
- Sueâs memoir This Much I KnowâŚThe Space Between: https://www.amazon.com/This-Much-Know-Space-Between/dp/1695541839/
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- NEDA (National Eating Disorders Association): https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/help-support/contact-helpline
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:22 Sueâs childhood
4:45 Sueâs sexual assault at 7yo, âDonât tell anyone!â
7:33 Ways Sue acted out in high school
9:08 How Sueâs eating disorder began, atypical anorexia
13:01 Physical and mental effects of her disordered eating
17:16 Sueâs opinion about BMI
19:29 What prompted Sue to get help for her disordered eating?
21:25 Sueâs advice to parents of a teen with disordered eating
28:55 Where do people go to get help for eating disorders?
29:55 Sueâs role as a life coach
35:00 Eating disorders resources
38:11 A sliver of hope can be cultivated
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
OfSubstance.EventBrite.com - 9/10
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Pam Lanhart. Sheâs the Director of the Minnesota based non-profit organization âThrive Family Recovery Resourcesâ that she started in 2016 to help families with addicted loved ones. Sheâs a certified recovery coach, peer specialist, speaker, author, and advocate for those dealing with substance use disorder - and their families.. She has a book and a FB page called âPraying Our Loved One Homeâ that our Christian audience members will especially love. She recently lost her young adult son Jake to the disease of addiction, but like our dear friend Heather Ross, she is forging ahead, more determined than ever to help families so they can help their struggling teens and young adults who are battling with addiction. Pam subscribes, as I do, to the CRAFT approach of treating our addicted loved ones with unconditional love and positive regard, no matter where they are in their sobriety.
RESOURCES:
Pamâs information:
- Thrive Family Recovery Resources: https://thrivefamilyrecoveryresources.org/
- Praying Our Loved One Home Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/prayingourlovedonehome
- Praying Our Loved One Home Blog: https://pamlanhart.com/praying-our-loved-one-home
- Praying Our Loved One Home Book: https://www.amazon.com/Praying-Our-Loved-One-Home/dp/B07NWZZS16
- Pamâs coaching website: https://pamlanhart.com/
- Wild Hearts Adventures: https://www.wildheartsadventures.org/
- Thrive! Family Addiction Support informed by CRAFT and Invitation to Change Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/ThriveFamilySupport
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- The First Day film: https://thefirstdayfilm.com/
- Raising Human Beings: Creating a Collaborative Partnership with Your Child by Ross W. Greene, PhD: https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Human-Beings-Collaborative-Partnership/dp/1476723761
- The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving the Heart of Conflict by The Arbinger Institute: https://www.amazon.com/Anatomy-Peace-Resolving-Heart-Conflict/dp/0369343972/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1660195659&sr=1-1
- Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone by BrenĂŠ Brown: https://www.amazon.com/Braving-Wilderness-Quest-Belonging-Courage/dp/0812985818/ref=monarch_sidesheet
- Motivational Interviewing: https://motivationalinterviewing.org/understanding-motivational-interviewing
- What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey: https://www.amazon.com/What-Happened-You-Conversations-Resilience/dp/B08PW4Q284
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Tiffany Gay, a Philadelphia entrepreneur, mindset coach, and public speaker. Several years ago she experienced severe depression and anxiety, but through prayer, a shift in her mindset, and identifying her "Why" she was able to survive through her mental health breakdown. She regained everything back that she lost, including her mind, and now she helps others shift their mindset and find the root cause of their struggles. Her mission is to serve, support, coach, and mentor individuals with shifting their self-defeating, unfulfilling, unproductive, and unhealthy patterns of thinking.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Tiffanyâs information:
- BInspired Apparel - https://binspiredapparel.net/
- Email Tiffany for her Shift Your Mindset and Dream Big coaching program: Tiffanyrgay@gmail.com
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:13 Tiffanyâs childhood, one of 8 kids
2:44 How Tiffanyâs fatherâs PTSD affected her family
5:20 Unfamiliar simultaneous lack - in full survival mode
8:48 How Tiffany managed her economic struggles
12:05 Tiffany lost hope for 2 years
14:15 TIffanyâs turning point
16:00 The 5 steps Tiffany took - Identify her WHY, shift her mindset, reactive her faith, incorporate prayer, identify a support system
17:18 Why Tiffany found her healing path outside the healthcare system
18:25 How Tiffany got back on track
20:00 Tiffany is the CEO of her own life
24:11 How has Tiffanyâs experience affected her parenting of her 12yo daughter
27:27 Breaking generational patterns
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
Movies & Conversations with Alex Kaplan from Of Substance
Saturday, September 10, 10am PST
OfSubstance.Eventbrite.com
===============
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Yvette Harpootian, a certified life coach from Rhode Island who is passionate about helping women get out of overwhelm, get more done, and release anxiety and self-sacrifice in order to feel better. I thought her message would be welcome here on Safe Home Podcast since many in our audience are parents of adolescents. I know when Joey was in crisis mode, I almost completely lost myself for a while there, before I got connected with Heather Ross, OUR life coach, who BTW went to the same coaching school as Yvette. In this episode, you will receive practical tools from Yvette that you can put into practice right away.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Yvetteâs information:
- SPECIAL FREEBIE FOR SAFE HOME LISTENERS: https://yvetteharpootian.com/5things
- Email Yvette for a FREE discovery call: ykhcoaching@gmail.com
- Instagram: ykhcoaching
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at Hello@SafeHomeFamilies.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome
www.SafeHomeFamilies.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:18 Why Yvette focuses on moms in her life coaching business
2:08 Key areas that moms can focus on to improve their relationship with their kids
4:52 Womenâs invisible workload
6:58 Keeping up with the âperfectâ class mom + toxic comparing
8:02 âI donât have time for self-care!â
12:30 What does self-care encompass?
15:28 How does Yvette convince moms to engage in self-care?
18:40 Avoiding getting âhangryâ (hungry + angry) and prioritizing sleep
20:30 Scheduling self-care in the calendar
21:31 What does life coaching look like?
22:41 The Model that Yvette uses in her coaching - how to control your thoughts
32:18 Whatâs the difference between coaching and therapy?
34:06 âMy son got better when I got betterâ and âNurturing and Love are the keys to healingâ
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
OfSubstance.Eventbrite.com
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Leela Davis. She is a neurodivergent who combines her lived experience self-healing her Bipolar 1 and CPTSD symptoms and managing ADHD symptoms with training in the healing modalities that she found the most powerful in her own healing journey. She is certified: as a Holistic Health Coach, in Somatic Attachment Therapy, as a Yoga of Sound and Vinyasa Instructor, in Astrology and Human Design, and has spent decades as a multi-passionate creative finding healing in the process of art-making-performing. Her mission is to mentor and support folks with emotional and mental health challenges or diagnoses and live a meaningful and beautiful life beyond the limitations ascribed to certain diagnoses. Her vision is a world where all medical and healing practitioners will learn to heal by addressing the roots of symptoms rather than covering up the symptoms.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Leelaâs information:
- Website: LeelaDavis.com
- Instagram: @mypeaceofsanity
- Podcast with Jude Gorini: What I Didn't Tell My Therapist - on all major podcast platforms
- Podcast instagram: @whatIdidnttellmytherapist
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness by Kay Redfield Jamison: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00W8JX3KK/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
- Bethâs episode on What I Didnât Tell My Therapist: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/season-2-episode-14-healing-addictions-as-a/id1473447399?i=1000568510708
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
===============
TIME STAMPS:
2:34 What is the difference between Bipolar I, Bipolar II, and depression?
5:35 Leelaâs diagnosis at age 37
7:44 Childhood trauma and genetic predisposition to mental illness
10:41 Did Leelaâs Bipolar diagnosis help or make things worse?
12:40 Leelaâs Bipolar medication hijacked her body and mind
21:21 How Leela found healing without meds
24:55 Meditation and yoga are key tools, incl. Yoga of sound
28:55 How Leela evaluates medication and substances now
31:15 What does Creative Wellness coaching look like?
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Jude Gorini, a Brazilian who lives in Northern Italy. He identifies as gender queer, and works as an author, podcaster, intuitive coach, and creative artist. He has struggled with Bipolar, addiction, and gender identity issues and shares his life story openly in order to help others. I met Jude recently when I recorded on the podcast that he co-hosts with Leela Davis, What I Didnât Tell My Therapist. He really resonated with our familyâs story, which intersects in many ways with his own. You will love his warmth and honesty, not to mention his sexy accent.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Judeâs information:
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXlb6019hbqQKN6meuXNbgA
- Insight Timer meditations: https://insighttimer.com/healingwith_jude
- Poetry book Sorry, I'm Mad: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B083P655RJ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_9Z5RNKYK2YKQPVMSSNBV
- Poetry book Words/Wars: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B083V6RFY7/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_M3GAKKAVQQC6R6Z72FNV
- Email: Jude@HealingwithJude
What I Didnât Tell My Therapist Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-i-didnt-tell-my-therapist-reboot/id1473447399
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- Bethâs episode on What I Didnât Tell My Therapist Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/season-2-episode-14-healing-addictions-as-a/id1473447399?i=1000568510708
- Pride & Joy Foundation: https://www.prideandjoyfoundation.com/
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at Hello@SafeHomeFamilies.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome
www.SafeHomeFamilies.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:26 Around the world with Jude - Brazil, Italy, UK, Italy
2:39 Whatâs wrong with Italy?
5:50 Judeâs LGBTQ+ status and coming out story
11:33 Judeâs career path
13:19 How and when did addiction come into Judeâs life?
18:56 What was the catalyst for his addiction recovery?
22:35 Start of holistic healing and coaching to help others
24:54 How Jude has managed his Bipolar I
26:20 Bipolar and addiction
28:55 What is Judeâs favorite tool for balancing his life?
30:20 Jude reads his poem âTodayâ
32:25 Nature as a tool for healing
33:54 Judeâs advice for parents of LGBTQ+ teens
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Lorah Gerald, an adoptee, an intuitive, a Kundalini Yoga Instructor, and writer. Lorah hopes to help others heal their trauma, adopted or not, by sharing her lived experiences as an adoptee as well as her education in breath work, energy healing and natural intuitive abilities.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Lorahâs information:
- Lorahâs Website & yoga class schedule: http://lorahgerald.com/
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- Emma Stevensâ Safe Home Podcast episode about EMDR: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/episodes/EMDR-for-Healing-Trauma-with-Emma-Stevens---Ep-38-e1h76f7
- Adoptees Connect: https://adopteesconnect.com/
- Reckoning with The Primal Wound documentary: https://reckoningwiththeprimalwound.com/
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:33 Holding feelings about adoption trauma inside v. healing in community
2:49 Lorahâs adoption story as a Baby Scoop Era domestic adoptee
4:40 A better life or just a different life?
6:40 What Beth was told about adoption trauma when she adopted Joey
8:32 What Lorahâs adoptive parents knew about adoption trauma
9:20 How Lorah acted out as a teen and how she avoided addiction
10:38 Lorahâs reunion story
15:34 Lorahâs motherâs forced hysterectomy
16:46 Lorahâs reaction to her adoption story as told by her parents
20:28 Lorahâs reunion story, continued
26:40 Lorahâs healing path - yoga, reiki, reading, etc.
28:35 Kundalini yoga & processing trauma through our bodies
34:55 Other physical trauma-healing tools that Lorah uses
39:03 Adoptee-only yoga sessions
41:43 How yoga has helped Lorah with trauma and well-being
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Rev. Bobbi Becker, the Senior Minister and Spiritual Director at NamastĂŠ Center for Spiritual Living in Long Beach, California. In this episode, Bobbi tells her story of being a gay New Thought minister who grew up in the Mormon church and whose whole family was touched by addiction and mental health issues. You will be inspired by her commitment to her own spiritual growth which included the acceptance of her sexual orientation. She is not afraid to speak out and take action within social structures about womenâs rights and LGBTQ+ rights. You will find out what saved her from the addiction route that many of her family members took.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Bobbiâs information:
- Bobbiâs email: revbobbi@namastecsl.org
- Bobbiâs churchâs website: https://namastecsl.org/
Resource mentioned in the episode:
- Nacho Kids - support group for step parents: https://nachokids.com/
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at Hello@SafeHomeFamilies.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome
www.SafeHomeFamilies.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:18 Bobbiâs unique childhood
2:44 Being raised in the Mormon church
5:00 Bobbiâs excommunication
10:36 Coming out as gay and getting involved in diversity training
13:46 Bobbiâs motherâs mental health trifecta and family secrets
20:01 How Bobbi escaped her familyâs dysfunction
22:36 Where Bobbi found support as a young adult
25:30 What are you giving power to?
26:25 Bobbi lost 2 brothers to addiction and mental illness
30:18 How Bobbiâs 2 surviving siblings are doing
33:54 How Bobbi avoided addiction to substances
37:25 Bobbiâs transition from corporate executive to minister
39:05 How Bobbiâs life has affected her parenting
44:59 Dealing with family trauma
47:06 The best thing parents of struggling teens can do
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with one of Joeyâs friends, 19yo Cheyanne Alsop. Like Joey, Cheyanne was adopted, her adoptive parents later got divorced, and she struggled with mental health issues throughout her adolescence. Cheyanneâs harrowing childhood would leave most people completely paralyzed emotionally. But because of her willingness to get help and to work on her own emotional toolbox, Cheyanne has graduated high school, sheâs got a job, and sheâs on her healing path. Her story gives us all hope for our struggling kids, and she and Joey give some great advice to teens and parents at the end of the episode.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Cheyanne's contact info: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheyanne_autumn1618
Other Episodes mentioned during this episode:
- Our CHS episode - #22
- Our episode about psych hospitals: #16
- Brenda's Adoption Story episode: #21
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at Hello@SafeHomeFamilies.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome
www.SafeHomeFamilies.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
0:30 A little update with Joey
3:17 Cheyanneâs infancy and first relinquishment at age 3
4:42 Cheyanneâs childhood trauma with her grandparents
11:15 Moving to her auntâs in foster care system
13:45 Getting matched with Cheyanneâs adoptive parents
16:55 Cheyanne and Joey talk about adoption trauma
22:20 Adoptive parentsâ divorce created more pain and caused first hospitalization
25:00 Cutting and self-harm, Cheyanneâs rock bottom
27:58 Cheyanne and Joeyâs advice to teens considering going to residential treatment programs
29:25 DBT - Dialectial Behavior Therapy, working hard in treatment
34:37 Things that have helped Cheyanne survive
36:38 How Cheyanneâs steered clear of the addiction route
41:23 Cheyanneâs plans for the future
44:13 Cheyanneâs advice for adoptive & foster parents
46:25 Cheyanneâs advice for teens
47:30 What Joey admires about Cheyanne
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Jeanette Matthew. She lives in North Yorkshire in the UK, and she is a certified coach who helps individuals and organizations transform their uncertainty, overwhelm, and lack of clarity into goals, action plans, and confidence. Her specialty is helping people deal with anxiety. Jeanette has delivered workshops around the world offering psychological hacks to managing and preventing anxiety, and teaching people the mindset tools we can adopt preventatively to see every day triggers through a different lens.
In this episode, Jeanette gives plenty of practical tools to help our teens - and ourselves - manage anxiety.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Jeanetteâs information:
- https://www.jeanettematthew.com/
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at Hello@SafeHomeFamilies.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
Website: SafeHomeFamililes.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:37 Jeanetteâs career background
8:00 Coaching v therapy
13:40 What is causing anxiety for our teens?
17:31 Learning to release outcomes
18:35 Sense of permanency of oneâs life choices
25:30 Jeanetteâs favorite tool for anxiety - a simple question to ground you in the present moment
34:45 Mindfulness tools
44:25 Choices over oneâs own behavior gives us autonomy
49:02 Getting active and getting outside for anxiety relief
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Tracy Struckman, an Indiana-based recovery coach who has 8 years of recovery from a destructive heroin addiction. She now helps others who are struggling with addiction to find long-term recovery. She is just completing her licensure to become a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and she does online consulting and workshops for people who struggle with addiction as well as their families.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Tracyâs information:
- Website: https://www.tracystruckman.com/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tracystruckman
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tracy_struckman/
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBYggEaAtEaoDdxLu0NzCiw
- LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/Tracystruckman
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:35 Tracyâs childhood and adolescence and background of her heroin addiction
3:35 The addiction process - alcoholâmarijuanaâthen heroin
5:41 Fentanylâs dangers and access to Narcan to prevent overdose deaths
10:19 Addiction as a symptom of an underlying problem
13:32 Tracyâs rock bottom
14:57 A chance of rehabilitation in the criminal justice system?
16:23 What happened to cause Tracy to become sober
19:00 Tracyâs parenting and Tracyâs parents
25:10 What Tracy wishes would have happened differently when she was a teen
27:30 What is a Recovery Coach?
31:23 How parents can shift their focus off their kids and onto themselves
33:27 How is Recovery Coaching structured logistically?
36:22 Parents, donât blame yourself!
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Tamara Gabbard. She lives in the jungles of Costa Rica with her toddler Rubi-Jean. Tamara is a Copywriter and Content Marketing Strategist, and she also identifies as a Soul Consultant and Clairvoyant. She combines her skills in both the practical and spiritual realms to help people who are struggling to break through the overwhelm that life can bring when trying to make an impact on the world.
Like our son Joey, Tamara has done extensive personal research with psychedelics and other substances. Sheâs 5 years sober now, but she uses some of the things she learned through her psychedelic trips to inform her work, especially finding the root causes of whatever obstacle people get stuck on.
Tamaraâs story is pretty extraordinary. Even if you canât relate to her exact experience, I know you will be inspired by her talk to dig a little deeper to help yourself and your struggling teen.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Tamaraâs information:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.soul.consoultant
- LinkTree: https://linktr.ee/the.soul.consoultant
Other things mentioned in the episode:
- David E. Nichols, psychedelics researcher at Purdue: https://www.mcmp.purdue.edu/faculty/nicholsd
- Michael Pollanâs book How to Change Your Mind: https://michaelpollan.com/books/how-to-change-your-mind/
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at Hello@SafeHomeFamilies.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
Website: http://SafeHomeFamilies.com
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:37 Tamaraâs chaotic childhood
5:08 Teenage experimenting (and then deep dive) with substances
7:33 Tamaraâs clairvoyance
13:50 Psychedelics and trauma
20:08 Holding space for people
21:55 How Beth has been holding space for Joey and Tamaraâs advice for parents
28:41 Teens using psychedelics (including vaping DMT)
34:07 Safer use of psychedelics
36:40 The planetary shift
39:15 Tamaraâs role as a Soul Consoultant to overcome trauma and blocks
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with her long-time piano student, 19-year-old Taylor Cox. Taylor graduated from high school in 2021, and has had a year of pivoting, personal growth, and some common teenage challenges since then. She talks openly about her struggles in the hopes that her story will help other families with struggling teens at this tricky post-high school juncture. Listen through to the end and youâll be rewarded with an original song performed by Taylor.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
- Taylorâs audition video: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Hgemd1kxJrENO1qEXVLuvvKHwsamXiG8/view?usp=drivesdk
- A public TV commercial featuring Taylor: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUz6zaxEwmQ&t=165s
- Taylorâs music video âLove Is Home:â https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFthHWNhtiU
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at Hello@SafeHomeFamilies.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome
www.SafeHomeFamilies.com
===============
TIME STAMPS
2:05 Taylorâs musical experience
4:18 Taylorâs other interested besides music
6:52 Taylorâs experience as a blind person
12:05 How to help blind people feel accepted and included
13:06 Taylorâs performing arts high school successes
16:51 Pivoting college plans
19:44 Independent living school
22:36 Bonehead teenage choices
23:40 Introduction of depression and anxiety
26:10 Therapy for everyone!
28:43 Tools Taylor learned through therapy
30:57 Taylorâs future plans
32:56 Taylorâs advice for parents of high school grads
38:33 Taylorâs performance of her song âBest of Meâ
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Joey joins Beth to talk with Jason Wilson about the science and side effects of cannabis. Jason is a botanist, educator, author, and podcaster whose primary interest right now is cannabis. He studies the chemistry and microbiology of cannabis, and has unique expertise in quality management systems and regulatory compliance in the burgeoning cannabis growing industry. He published a science textbook âCurious About Cannabisâ and has a podcast with the same name.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Jasonâs information:
- Curious About Cannabis podcast: https://cacpodcast.com/
- Curious About Cannabis textbook: https://cacpodcast.com/book/
- Curious About Cannabis workshops and courses: https://cacpodcast.com/curious-about-cannabis-learning-center/
- Email: jason@naturallearningenterprises.com
Anonymous testing of substances: https://www.drugsdata.org/
CHS Genetic Testing: https://shop.endodna.com/products/chs-dna-susceptibility-test
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson; Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao; Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson; Email questions or comments to Safe Home at Hello@SafeHomeFamilies.com; Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube; Support Safe Home on Patreon: Patreon.com/SafeHome
===============
TIME STAMPS:
0:57 Jason Wilsonâs intro and expertise
2:51 How todayâs cannabis compares to the cannabis parents used back in the day
6:09 Jasonâs concerns about modern synthetic products like Delta 8 THC
9:50 Different types of testing - qualitative and quantitative
14:32 How can consumers know if their product is good quality
17:28 How clean are dispensary products?
18:50 The dangers of street drugs from the black market
24:00 Vape industry marketing to kids
24:36 Is it âjustâ cannabis?
24:50 Can you get addicted to cannabis?
28:25 Cannabinoid Hyperemesis Syndrome (CHS) and stigma
31:12 Communicating with your kids about cannabis
32:42 The unique chemistry of edible cannabis, which packs a powerful punch
35:55 How much cannabis does Joey use?
37:28 Bi-phasic effect of cannabis - high dose v. low dose
39:50 Remedies for cannabis overdoses or overwhelm
43:00 High doses of cannabis can make psychiatric problems worse
43:35 Fentanyl in weed and how to test for it
36:35 Safest ways to use cannabis
49:48 Jasonâs advice to parents about how to communicate with our kids about cannabis
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth and Jan, Joeyâs moms, give a State of the Family update. They talk about whatâs been happening with all 3 family members, and share their vision for Safe Home Families as well.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Safe Home Families information:
- Website: https://SafeHomeFamilies.com
- Safe Home Bookclub: https://bookclubs.com/clubs/5964570/join/d6adea/
- Compassionate Boundaries Workshop - May 28, 2022: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/compassionate-boundaries-an-interactive-workshop-tickets-331282202987
- Patreon page: https://Patreon.com/SafeHome
- Email: Hello@SafeHomeFamilies.com
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at Hello@SafeHomeFamilies.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon - https://Patreon.com/SafeHome
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:30 Family updates - Beth, Jan, and Joey
6:03 How Beth and Jan work together to maintain boundaries
13:48 Changing the things we can, which often prompts change in the family system
14:53 Adolescence and wanting more independence
23:50 Changing geography to try to solve problems
25:25 How our boundaries bring us peace and sanity
27:00 Safe Home Podcast expands to Safe Home Families
28:12 New support system for adoptive parents is coming
32:09 A boost in hope for Joeyâs future
33:48 Our Patreon account - thanks to our current Patreon members - Camille, Susan, Nina, Rica, Mara, and Steve & Barbara
37:42 Huge gratitude for our first sponsor - Beth & Laurie Hansen
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
THIS PODCAST EPISODE CAN BE SEEN IN VIDEO FORMAT ON YOUTUBE AT: https://youtu.be/cQeNVrW0v2U
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Alex Kaplan, co-founding Executive Director & Chief Vision Officer of âOf Substance,â an innovative nonprofit that makes premium, entertaining short films to help us all overcome the shame, blame, and stigma we experience in our struggles. Having overcome his own challenges with substances, Alex has been through the wringer, but he has turned his life around and is now helping other struggling people to find connection, a sense of belonging, and hope.
===============
đŹ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Alexâs information:
- Of Substance - https://www.ofsubstance.org/
- MTVs Mental Health Action Day/Network - https://www.mentalhealthaction.network/
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at Hello@SafeHomeFamilies.com
www.SafeHomeFamilies.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:55 - Alexâs trauma, shame, and addiction story
5:48 - Alexâs recovery story
12:38 - Bethâs story about how our healthcare system has NOT helped Joey
14:02 - How addicted people deserve more credit than they are given
17:00 - Curiosity about the positive things people are getting from substances
19:00 - Getting to the core issues
22:44 - What kind of movies is Of Substance making?
26:13 - How Alexâs relationship with his mom was transformed by his film âTrappedâ
30:05 - Alexâs vision for Of Substance
37:04 - The topic of shame in media
39:44 - How non-industry people can support Of Substance
43:31 - âBandaids,â one of Of Substanceâs short films
51:35 - How we all can help get Of Substanceâs message out
54:25 - âHide Your Crazyâ monster film and MTVâs Mental Health Action Day, May 20-22, 2022
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Erik, who spent three decades living under the dark cloud of active addiction, but who is now whole and walking on the recovery path. Itâs a dramatic transformation story that testifies to the power of love and hope in our addicted loved oneâs recovery. Erik misused meth for over 30 years, and he alternated between living under a bridge, in jail, prison, rehabs, and halfway houses during that time. Joining in the conversation in the second half of the episode are his sister Beth and their 89-year-old mom Laurie, who realized they were helpless to âfixâ Erik. But they never gave up hope that he would find recovery. And he did! Find out what it was that turned Erikâs life around, and hear from all three family members, who are dear friends of Beth, Jan, and Joey, as they recall the traumatic experiences and triumphs of their family.
===============
RESOURCES:
Resource mentioned in this episode:
- Oxford House - https://www.oxfordhouse.org/
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:28 Erikâs adolescence and the start of his addictive behavior
5:17 Finding a sense of community on the streets
6:34 Introduction of meth and life got way worse
10:59 The revolving door of incarceration
20:30 What ended up turning Erik around?
30:04 Erik reflects on his parents and his own parenting
34:47 Erikâs sister Beth and mom Laurie join the conversation
48:27 Erikâs miraculous transformation through the responsibility of work
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Ross Leppala, professional powerlifter, coach, host of the Project UnchainED podcast, and creator of The Belonging Blueprint course. He suffered from bullying and suicidal ideation when he was young, but sports, especially football, turned his life around. He became a powerlifter and powerlifting coach, and he has expanded his skills to help his athletes and others with their personal growth as well. He helps his clients create a sense of belonging within themselves.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Rossâs information:
- The Belonging Blueprint course that Ross offers: https://www.holisticalignmentstrategies.com/the-belonging-blueprint-f294cb7f-5e69-433b-b20a-04b5e7425645
- Project UnchainED Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/4rAXMYFftt4FAtWgnh8aMA
- Meet Ross article: https://shoutoutatlanta.com/meet-ross-leppala-powerlifting-life-coach/
- Rossâs email: theakleprechaun@gmail.com
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
===============
TIME STAMPS:
2:43 Rossâs childhood struggles with bullying
8:18 Ross found sports which helped with his self-worth issues
15:19 Personal growth and discipline gained through powerlifting
17:00 Rossâs life coaching process and tools
23:20 Rossâs advice for parents of struggling teens
37:21 The Belonging Blueprint course
44:16 The choice to create change
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Emma Stevens, whose new memoir The Gathering Place: An Adopteeâs Story was written during her treatment with EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). EMDR has helped her deal with her adoption trauma and other developmental trauma from her troubled childhood.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Emmaâs information:
- Emmaâs book The Gathering Place: An Adopteeâs Story: https://www.amazon.com/Gathering-Place-Adoptees-Story/dp/B09HH8PDGL
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- Find an EMDR Therapist: https://www.emdria.org/find-an-emdr-therapist/
- Reckoning with the Primal Wound documentary: https://reckoningwiththeprimalwound.com/
- Our episode with Rebecca Autumn Sansom, the filmmaker of Reckoning with the Primal Wound: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/episodes/Empowering-Adoptees-with-Rebecca-Autumn-Sansom---Ep-30-e1ejvje
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
- Join the Safe Home Bookclub - https://bookclubs.com/clubs/5964570/join/d6adea/
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
===============
TIME STAMPS
3:56 Emmaâs adoption story
6:38 Alcohol was part of her familyâs routineâŚand later her routine
11:23 Exploited by a therapist, then found EMDR
12:45 Starting EMDR and her memoir
15:10 Implicit memories stored in our bodies
16:16 Adoptionâs primal wound
20:08 EMDR today
24:43 In utero and infant trauma
27:44 Personal growth for struggling teens + for parents of struggling teens
29:22 Dealing with infertility loss
33:23 Reckoning with the Primal Wound with Emmaâs cameo
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Boston musician Spencer LaJoye, who identifies their gender as non-binary. They came out as bisexual in college and years later came out as non-binary, all within Christian communities. Beth became aware of Spencer when she heard their song âPlowshare Prayer,â a unique prayer for all those against whom prayer has been used as a sword. The song has gone viral around the world, and you will hear Spencerâs back story plus the entire song toward the end of the episode.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Spencer LaJoyeâs information:
- Website: spencerlajoye.com
- Instagram: @spencerlajoye
- Facebook: @spencerlajoyemusic
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
===============
TIME STAMPS
1:47 Spencerâs childhood and religious background
6:26 Spencer found community as an evangelical youth
8:48 Spencerâs college years and coming out as bi
14:16 Parents letting go of dreams for their child
19:46 Coming out as non-binary in 2018
21:49 Spencerâs gender journey
24:10 What our non-binary kids need
28:49 Being a friendly observer of your own body
30:25 Defining trans & non-binary
35:36 Background of âPlowshare Prayerâ song
42:50 Performance of âPlowshare Prayerâ
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with transformational healer Ellen Newhouse, who uses Acupuncture, Sound Healing, and Energy Medicine in her private practice. This episode focuses on sound healing as a way to transform negative emotions, open up the heart, connect with our loved ones, and create more compassion in the world. Ellen leads Beth in several sound healing exercises in the episode and also shares about her personal journey of healing and growth.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Ellenâs information:
- Website: ellennewhouse.com
- Memoir: Nothing Ever Goes On Here - https://www.amazon.com/Nothing-Ever-Goes-Here-Memoir/dp/193928872X/ref=sr_1_1_twi_pap_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=148043269
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
===============
TIME STAMPS:
2:10 Ellenâs background info
6:57 Ellenâs calling to become a healer
9:25 Healing chronic pain
12:30 Using sound to manage negative feelings
19:19 The benefits of using a healing guide
20:33 Using sound to release constriction
24:46 Conquering the feeling of isolation
27:20 A sound healing connecting Beth with Joey
35:27 How does sound healing work?
39:52 Are music and sound healing the same thing?
41:51 Are sound baths similar to what we did in this episode?
43:50 A sound healing with a singing bowl to create more compassion
49:45 Ellenâs website, memoir, and one-woman show
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Kaitlyn Vosburg who is an advocate for people with DID - Dissociative Identity Disorder, formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder. She has a TikTok account called âapartofeightâ where she shares real life scenes from her own journey with DID. Kaitlyn sheds light on a topic that isnât discussed much, but which affects 1% of the population.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Kaitlynâs information:
- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@apartofeight
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/A-Part-of-Eight-DID-103051708329358
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/apartofeight/?hl=en
- Email: apartofeight@gmail.com
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
===============
TIME STAMPS
2:01 What is DID?
2:45 The ONLY cause of DID
4:25 Kaitlynâs trauma
6:18 Does every traumatized person get DID?
8:00 What is an âalterâ?
9:05 Kaitlynâs alters
12:58 DID is a hidden disorder
13:39 Kaitlynâs diagnosis story
16:10 Risks for people with DID
18:09 How Kaitlynâs family adjusted to her diagnosis
19:59 How Kaitlyn wishes people would do to support her
22:48 How much control over switching does Kaitlyn have?
26:04 How does Kaitlyn manage everything?
27:54 How do people know when switching is occurring?
30:09 Advice for parents
32:24 DID is real and itâs not their fault
34:45 Kaitlynâs TikTok âapartofeightâ
37:29 Where is Kaitlyn in all this?
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs episode, Beth interviews her parent coach, Heather Ross, who recently lost her daughter to fentanyl poisoning. Clips of Heatherâs previous podcast episodes with her daughter are heard throughout this episode.
RESOURCES:
How to find Heather:
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Heatherâs Living With Addiction podcast: https://anchor.fm/heather-ross9
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/heatherrosscoaching
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heatherrosscoaching/
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:35 Clip #1 with Heather & Helanna from Sept. 2021 Living with Addiction podcast
2:49 Heather is driven to continue helping other families
4:40 Helannaâs childhood and background
7:35 Clip #2 with Heather & Helanna from Sept. 2021 Living with Addiction podcast
13:55 Similarities between Heather and Helanna wanting to numb out
14:30 Clip #3 with Heather & Helanna from Sept. 2021 Living with Addiction podcast
15:13 People pleasing and masking
32:09 Helannaâs rehabs and relapses
33:50 Clip #5 with Heather & Helanna from Oct. 2021 Living with Addiction podcast
35:40 Helannaâs last few days
37:41 Details about fentanyl
39:26 Getting âthat phone callâ
45:31 How Heather has stayed sane since her daughterâs death
50:40 Clip #6 with Heather & Helanna from Oct. 2021 Living with Addiction podcast
52:00 What Heather wishes she wouldâve done differently
56:17 Destigmatizing addiction
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs episode we will dive into a wonderfully effective and low-tech healing modality called EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique - or itâs sometimes just called Tapping. Bethâs guest is Andy Bryce, one of 26 remaining Founding EFT Masters in the world. EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques, which combines psychology and acupuncture. Andy takes Beth through a mini EFT session as part of this episode.
THIS EPISODE IS ALSO AVAILABLE AS A VIDEO ON YOUTUBE because of the visual content of the tapping session. Find the video of this episode here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYoW-LxFFes2EX71ENcFVCQ
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
How to find Andy Bryce:
- His website: www.tappingthrough.com
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/andy.bryce1
- Email: andy@tappingthrough.com
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
===============
TIME STAMPS:
2:13 What is EFT?
4:50 Emotions come in waves
7:20 What spurred Andyâs interest in alternative healing modalities?
10:00 EFT can be done with a practitioner or alone
11:45 All ages can benefit from EFT
16:08 How EFT can help parents calm their anxiety about their struggling teens
21:50 EFT can help cure phobias
22:23 Bethâs mini EFT session with Andy
37:02 How to help our children find meaning
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs episode you will hear another familyâs story of adolescent addiction and recovery. Dawn McCordâs son Carson had a tumultuous adolescence but he found recovery through wilderness therapy. Dawnâs new memoir "Chasing Carson: A Family's Journey through Adolescence, Addiction and Recovery," provides an honest account of their whole familyâs healing process.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
How to find Dawn McCord and her book:
- Dawnâs Chasing Carson book: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/chasing-carson-dawn-mccord/1140795845
- Dawnâs website: https://adolescentaddictionandrecovery.com/
Another book mentioned in this episode:
- Balm: The Loving Path to Family Recovery by Beverly A. Buncher: https://www.amazon.com/BALM-Loving-Path-Family-Recovery/dp/0473433575
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
===============
TIME STAMPS:
2:05 Did Carson give his blessing for the memoir?
3:35 Dawn and Beth are committed to reducing the shame around addiction
6:25 Adolescentsâ risky behavior is part of normal development
9:30 Carsonâs addiction story
14:11 Compounding the addiction story with poverty or racism
16:16 Ideas for helping our struggling kids
21:30 The dangers of social media for our kids
24:45 Carson progressed to heroin and found wilderness therapy
33:25 Reorganizing home rules and revising family habits
35:38 How Dawn has stayed sane
40:00 What Dawn would have done differently (hint: smart phones)
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
This weekâs episode is about All The Diversities. Beth interviews Lyric Holmans, a non-binary, autistic self-advocate who runs the blog and Facebook page âThe Neurodivergent Rebelâ plus their company Neurodivergent Consulting.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
How to find Lyric:
- Website: https://neurodivergentrebel.com/
- Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/NeurodivergentRebel
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
===============
TIME STAMPS:
2:13 What happens when autistic people tell the truth
5:45 Lyricâs late diagnosis
11:25 Diversity within the Neurodivergent population
14:02 Lyricâs acting on stage and in life
15:05 Lyricâs school experience
18:30 The eye contact issue
22:06 Definition of neurodivergent
28:56 ADHD and âDoes not apply themselvesâ
34:48 How non-binary gender intersects with neurodiversity
37:55 Definition of non-binary gender
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with an adult adoptee, Rebecca Autumn Sansom, who recently created an adoption documentary called Reckoning with the Primal Wound, a film that juxtaposes her own powerful adoption story with the wisdom of Nancy Verrier, who wrote The Primal Wound, the book that is considered to be the adopteeâs bible.
RESOURCES:
Information about Reckoning with the Primal Wound:
- Website + Tickets: https://reckoningwiththeprimalwound.com/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/reckoningwiththeprimalwound
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/reckoning_with_theprimalwound/?hl=en
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- Nancy Verrierâs book The Primal Wound: http://nancyverrier.com/the-primal-wound/
- Blonde Records: https://blonderecords.com
- Time.comâs article about the adoption industry: https://time.com/6051811/private-adoption-america/
- âOff and Runningâ documentary by Nicole Opper: https://offandrunningthefilm.com/
- Adoptees On Podcast: https://www.adopteeson.com/
- Adoptees Connect: https://adopteesconnect.com/
- The F-Word Series: https://www.thefwordseries.com/
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:37 How Rebecca got the idea for the film
4:11 Adoptive parentâs perspectives
7:11 Film screening info for 2/26/22
8:51 How the film triggered Rebecca and others
19:22 Adolescence and identity crises
25:05 Is Rebecca anti-adoption?
26:47 How the birth of Rebeccaâs child affected her
29:15 Money in the adoption industry
30:58 Does Rebecca ever feel infantilized as an adult adoptee?
41:15 Advice for dealing with Joeyâs adoption pain
45:55 Renting the film its eventual release
47:28 Join the Adoption Army!
49:03 Blonde Records info
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with podcaster, motivational speaker, and writer Lona (LC) Currie. LC has recovered from long-term drug and alcohol misuse, and after he became stable as a sober person, he transitioned to his true gender. He was considered a âlost causeâ by many, but now he is openly sharing his addiction experience to give others hope that recovery is always possible. His story will encourage everyone to come back home to their authentic selves.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Lona (LC) Currieâs information:
- Transgender Mentor Podcast: https://anchor.fm/transgendermentor
-
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmYPVfkzYCuCKbqeBqCM1vg
-
Recovery Soulfood Podcast: https://anchor.fm/recoverysoulfood
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/RecoverySoulfood
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
===============
TIME STAMPS
1:24 LCâs Transgender Mentor podcast
3:30 The start of LCâs addiction at age 11
5:47 LCâs advice for parents offering kids alcohol because âtheyâll do it anywayâ
6:51 The progression of LCâs addiction beyond alcohol
11:14 Moving to opiates
15:57 Suicide attempts and accidents
17:40 LCâs recovery story
19:30 Dealing with the core issues
25:00 Starting gender transition
26:50 The path back to LCâs authentic self
31:47 The shift that Covid has created
37:45 Enabling v. Tough Love
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this weekâs episode, weâre sharing an interview Beth had on another momâs podcast recently: Rebecca Greeneâs The Whinypaluza Podcast. Here are some of the topics we cover:
-
Why being a reactive parent isnât helpful during times of stress.
-
How teens can easily hide their drug use from their parents.
-
What kinds of signs you should be looking for in your teenage children.
-
How excessive drug use can lead to disregard for things they once loved.
-
How relapse is a very real reality when dealing with a teen who struggles with addiction.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Rebecca Greeneâs The Whinypaluza Podcast
- Her website: https://www.whinypaluza.com/
- Her podcast episodes: https://www.whinypaluza.com/podcast/ (Subscribe, Like, or Rate on your favorite podcast app)
Mentioned in this episode:
- The Primal Wound book: http://nancyverrier.com/the-primal-wound/
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
===============
TIME STAMPS:
3:19 The start of The Whinypaluza Podcast episode
5:27 Why we started Safe Home and where we came up with the title
7:38 Staying out of reaction mode
9:42 How Joey hid drug use from us for 2 years
12:36 The warning signs we missed
14:54 How Beth tried to help Joey after we found out he was using drugs
18:35 How Beth kept herself sane through Joeyâs travails
21:06 What has helped Joey
23:52 Advice to prevent your child using drug use
28:12 Letâs talk about sugar!
34:55 The main lesson Beth has learned
35:48 A bit about adoption trauma
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this episode, Beth learns about hypnotherapy with Pamela Topjian from Breakthrough Hypnotherapy. She talks about her own healing path from childhood trauma, how she got into hypnotherapy, and how hypnotherapy can help create more peace and heal trauma for teens and parents. Joey checks in at the end of this episode, too.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Pamela Topjianâs information:
- Pamelaâs website: https://hypnobreakthrough.com/
- Pamelaâs memoir I Didnât Come This Far to Only Come THIS Far: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09N1M6CYG/ref=nodl_?ref_=pe_3052080_276849420
- Pamela on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HypnoBreakthrough
- Pamela on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hypnobreakthrough/
- Pamela on Twitter: https://twitter.com/HypnoBrkthrough
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
- American Council of Hypnotist Examiners: https://hypnotistexaminers.org/member-directory/ - find a certified hypnotist
- Transgender Mentor podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmYPVfkzYCuCKbqeBqCM1vg
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:51 Pamelaâs memoir I Didnât Come This Far to Only Come THIS Far
4:05 Adding to our healing modality toolbox
6:13 Pamelaâs trauma story
9:08 Pamelaâs career journey from nursing to hypnotherapy
12:34 Beth gushes over Joey
14:35 How Covid has exacerbated problems
17:05What hypnotherapy is like
23:32 Doing hypnotherapy remotely
24:47 How hypnotherapy can help parents with struggling teens
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this episode, Beth talks with learning disabilities specialist Jill Stowell from Stowell Learning Center. She talks about how early childhood affects a personâs ability to learn, and she gives great ideas to parents that will help them advocate for their child and find solutions for their learning challenges.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Jill Stowellâs information:
- Stowell Learning Center: https://stowellcenter.com/ - schedule a free consultation
- LDXpertLive: https://stowellcenter.com/ldexpert/ - free weekly broadcasts
- Jillâs book At Witâs End: A Parent's Guide to Ending the Struggle, Tears, and Turmoil of Learning Disabilities: https://stowellcenter.com/book/ - free book available
- Stowell Learning Centerâs Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/learningdisability
Another book mentioned in this episode:
- Mona Delahookâs book Beyond Behaviors: https://monadelahooke.com/books/
Other Resources:
- Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
- Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
===============
TIME STAMPS:
2:05 How Jill got involved teaching people with learning disabilities
4:07 First signs of learning disabilities in kids
5:30 Adopted children with learning disabilities
9:46 How early childhood trauma shows up in the body and in learning
12:13 How parents can help make teachers aware of their childâs challenges
17:00 Can learning disabilities be fixed permanently?
19:15 How trauma can affect learning disabilities
22:19 Crossing the midline exercises
26:25 Is it too late to help teenagers? What to do if you suspect your teen is struggling
28:45 Ways Jillâs center can help with learning challenges
33:57 Can learning disabilities contribute to teens getting off track?
36:40 Whatâs the best age to get your child help with learning disabilities?
39:30 Where to find resources
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
Emily Jaworski Koriath talks with Beth about the intersection between her career as a singer and voice teacher, her own trauma, and Somatic Experiencing, a body-centered method of healing trauma that she has found to be extremely effective for herself and others.
===============
Emily Jaworski Koriathâs Information:
Emilyâs Website: https://www.emilyjaworskikoriath.com/
Other things mentioned in this episode:
Alexander Technique: https://alexandertechnique.com/
Steven Porgesâ Polyvagal Theory: https://www.polyvagalinstitute.org/ and his book The Polyvagal Theory: The Pocket Guide to the Polyvagal Theory: The Transformative Power of Feeling Safe
Sharon Loeschenâs Safe Home episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEuFl8lg9yw&t=1s
Helping Clients Move Forward from Developmental Trauma--An Integrative Somatic Approach by Kathy L. Kain
To Write Love On Her Arms
Dr. Peter Levineâs Somatic Experiencing resources and education: https://www.somaticexperiencing.com/
Voice and Trauma Research and Connection Group
Rilkeâs poem with âNo feeling is finalâ: https://onbeing.org/poetry/go-to-the-limits-of-your-longing/
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:43 Emilyâs unusual music career journey
5:20 How Emilyâs interest in trauma work began
8:40 The connection between Emilyâs singing voice and trauma
10:51 Emilyâs trauma
13:05 Emilyâs voice studentsâ trauma and her responsibility as a teacher
18:38 Connections with our animals
19:44 Modeling self-care and co-regulation
24:02 Emilyâs openness around her depression
28:00 Somatic Experiencing
35:00 Car accident example
40:16 Disconnection from our body
44:30 SE on Zoom
51:00 How Emilyâs SE sessions are structured
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this episode, Beth talks with the founder of Pride & Joy Foundation, Elena Joy Thurston, about her personal story as a lesbian mom, and about how our LGBTQ+ youth are doing. She gives practical advice for parents to help their LGBTQ+ kids. Her foundation offers quarterly parent workshops, a queer writing project, diversity consulting, and a book about LGBTQ+ people in business. Elena Joy is a powerhouse and is making positive change in the world.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
===============
RESOURCES:
Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
Mentioned during this episode:
Pride & Joy Foundation Parent Connection workshops: http://www.PrideandJoyParents.com;
Elena Joyâs book Thriving in Business: Strategies for the LGBTQ+ Entrepreneur:
www.QueerBusinessBook.com
Elena Joyâs LGBTQ+ author project OUTWrite Authors: www.OUTWriteAuthors.com
An article about neurodivergence & LGBTQ+ people by Elena Joy: https://www.prideandjoyfoundation.com/blog/raisingLGBTQneurodiversekids
An article that has book recommendation for the 2 books Elena Joy recommends that parents read: https://www.prideandjoyfoundation.com/blog/gifts%20for%20LGBTQ%20loves%20ones
An article about Pride & Joy Foundationâs corporate inclusion trainings: https://www.prideandjoyfoundation.com/blog/corporateinclusion3e
Elena Joyâs TED Talk about her life: https://www.ted.com/talks/elena_joy_thurston_conversion_therapy_almost_took_my_life_mindfulness_saved_it
TIME STAMPS:
2:06 Elena Joyâs bio
5:26 Conversion therapy
9:00 Me Too
11:52 Divorce and child custody
14:04 Starting Pride & Joy Foundation
17:32 Suicide prevention and helping LGBTQ+ college students
22:20 The state of our LGBTQ+ youth
23:39 LGBTQ+ and neurodiversity correlation
25:22 What do LGBTQ+ kids need from their parents
29:00 Love the sinner but hate the sin
31:00 Gender issues
38:33 Pandemic creating cultural change
40:22 Corporate diversity training
42:27 The Gay Agenda
43:30 Pride & Joy Publishing
47:55 Elena Joyâs career trajectory
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
Recently, Joey was diagnosed with CHS, and we thought the world needed to know about this disorder. Hugh Dascbach is a friendâs husband who also has CHS, and in this episode, he and I talk about the symptoms, the recovery, and the need to get the word out about it.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
===============
RESOURCES:
Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
Hereâs the CHS Facebook Support Group that Beth mentions in the podcast: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1726680267460882/?hoisted_section_header_type=recently_seen&multi_permalinks=4376818802447002
Cedars Sinai explains CHS: https://www.cedars-sinai.org/health-library/diseases-and-conditions/c/cannabinoid-hyperemesis-syndrome.html
===============
TIME STAMPS:
0:34 What is CHS?
2:06 Hughâs background with cannabis
3:06 Medical marijuana to manage anxiety
6:30 Hughâs CHS symptoms
10:29 Hughâs CHS diagnosis and recovery
11:34 Joeyâs advantage of youth v. Hughâs healing process
12:36 Hello anxiety and insomnia
14:12 Utilizing other coping skills
16:13 Gradual rise of symptoms, cannabis building up in the system
17:54 Hot showers is the tip-off
19:50 Is cannabis addictive?
20:28 Better ways to deal with anxiety and pain
21:38 Tolerance breaks
22:14 Stigma around weed-users and CHS
22:59 Life contains pain
26:08 Update about Joeyâs doctor
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this episode of Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with a childhood friend Brenda Bash Cooper about her own adoption experience and how it informs her work with traumatized crime victims at her job. She and Joey - and countless other adopted people - share that deep-down feeling of unworthiness. In her experience, Brenda attributes that feeling to her relinquishment trauma. Whether your family is touched by adoption or youâre just curious, this chat will inspire you to think deeper on the topic.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
===============
RESOURCES:
Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
Beth mentions the book The Primal Wound in this episode. Itâs life-changing reading for adoptive families.
===============
TIME STAMPS:
1:45 Brendaâs current life
3:34 Brendaâs adoption story
7:02 ânot good enoughâ - adoption and attachment
12:12 Adoption trauma and healing
17:40 Reconciliation with biological father
31:41 Reconciliation with biological mother
39:46 Trauma experience and Brendaâs work with crime victims
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this Safe Home episode, Beth discusses the tough topic of bullying with a long-time friend of hers, Maria Lundstroem Lopez, who was regularly beaten and treated horribly in elementary school. Beth's son Joey was also bullied with racist microaggressions throughout his whole school journey. Maria talks about how these wounds from being bullied have stuck with her until adulthood and gives some ideas for how to deal with bullying in todayâs schools and families.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
======================================
RESOURCES:
Other Parents Like Me - https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
=======================================
TIME STAMPS:
2:34 Mariaâs background
5:38 Mariaâs coping tools when she was being bullied
9:15 How Maria helps make safe spaces for her music students
12:42 Bullying ourselves
14:57 Some people use drugs to cope
17:20 Mariaâs suggestions for parents of kids who are bullied
18:15 Joeyâs experience being bullied & how his school responded
22:22 Maria standing up for herself
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this episode, Beth talks with Casie Fariello, who is launching a new comprehensive online parent resource on January 10, 2022 called Other Parents Like Me.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
=======================================
Find OTHER PARENTS LIKE ME:
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/other.parents.like.me
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/other.parents.like.me/
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/oplm_community
- TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@other.parents.like.me?
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/other-parents-like-me/
=======================================
MORE RESOURCES:
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
=======================================
TIME STAMPS:
1:27 Casieâs familyâs story
6:50 Light at the end of the tunnel
11:12 Casieâs first support groups for parents
16:39 Structure in support group meetings at In Balance
18:24 How Other Parents Like Me is same/different
24:00 Other Parents Like Me - how to register and how much is costs
25:58 January 10, 2022 launch & Bethâs surprise
27:40 Peer parents
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this episode, Joey joins Beth to talk about his NEW JOB! Itâs his first real job and heâs found something he really loves to do.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
=======================================
MORE RESOURCES:
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/
Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
=======================================
Websites that Joey mentions in this episode:
Indeed job search engine: https://www.indeed.com/
Mint financial app: https://mint.intuit.com/
=======================================
TIME STAMPS:
0:49 Joeyâs new job and how itâs going so far
4:06 Joey hit the wall with depression about a week in
4:56 Using substances and holding a job
6:41 Joeyâs previous work experience
8:12 Career path with the dogs
10:05 Budget lesson
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this episode, Beth hears the story of Rev. Jane Davis, who is in recovery from alcohol addiction. She shares some alternative recovery treatment solutions she found besides the typical 12-step Alcoholics Anonymous model.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Resources that Jane mentions during the podcast:
Oxford House - https://www.oxfordhouse.org/
Alcoholics Anonymous - https://www.aa.org/
SMART Recovery - https://www.smartrecovery.org/
Women for Sobriety - https://womenforsobriety.org/community/
Men for Sobriety - https://2994002.site123.me/
Refuge Recovery - https://www.refugerecovery.org/
How to become a Peer Support Counselor - https://www.mhanational.org/how-become-peer-support-specialist
More Peer Support resources - https://www.samhsa.gov/brss-tacs/recovery-support-tools/peers
======================================
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
=======================================
MORE RESOURCES:
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/
Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
=======================================
TIME STAMPS:
0:47 Janeâs intro & addiction story
7:35 Janeâs lowest point
10:16 Oxford House sober living house and the start of Janeâs sobriety
13:17 How Jane got through adolescence
17:30 More about Oxford House
24:07 Janeâs experience with 12 step programs (AA)
25:40 SMART Recovery
29:02 Refuge Recovery - Buddhist based recovery program
31:56 Janeâs work as a Certified Peer Support Worker
37:06 Janeâs best advice for people in recovery
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
Joey returns to the podcast for this episode about his experiences in psych hospitals due to suicidal ideation. Joey and Beth talk about the positive things about being hospitalized, and also some of the not-so-pleasant parts. They are continuing their work of de-stigmatizing mental illness and addiction through this important episode.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
=======================================
RESOURCES:
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/
Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
=======================================
Time Stamps:
0:58 Joeyâs update
2:36 How creating Safe Home Podcast is helping Joey
4:44 Background of Joeyâs first psych hospital experience
12:11 Transporting to the psych hospital via ambulance
13:53 Joeyâs first night at the first psych hospital
17:35 Things that make the hospital safe for suicidal patients
21:01 The kinds of kids end up at psych hospitals
23:33 Minimal therapy or help at hospital, but it keeps fragile patients safe
25:10 Visiting hours
27:40 Lockdown in Nevada
28:49 Covid at the hospital
33:51 Transitioning out of a hospital - IOP and PHP
35:31 Family therapy - oh joy!
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this episode, Beth chats with Sharon Loeschen, LCSW, about her decades of experience as a therapist and community activist. Her compassionate voice encourages us all to find our own healing path, and she gives specific advice about how parents can their kids survive and thrive through adolescence.
=======================================
Sharon Loeschenâs books:
- Enriching Your Relationship with Yourself and Others: https://satirglobal.org/product/enriching-your-relationship-with-yourself-and-others/
- Choosing Your Life Story: Inspirational Stories of Transformations from the Streets of South Central Los Angeles: https://satirglobal.org/product/choosing-your-life-story/
Virginia Satirâs book Sharon recommends in this episode:
- The New People-Making: https://www.amazon.com/New-Peoplemaking-Virginia-Satir/dp/0831400706
Lewisâs South Central organization that Sharon talks about in this episode:
- Advocates for Peace and Urban Unity: https://www.facebook.com/apuunow/
=======================================
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
=======================================
RESOURCES:
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/
Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
=======================================
TIME STAMPS:
0:40 Sharonâs bio
2:06 Sharonâs relationship with our family
3:43 Virginia Satirâs bio
5:28 Sharonâs relationship with Virginia Satir
6:54 Virginia Satirâs difficult childhood
8:50 Life Sentences
9:48 Why Sharon became a therapist
10:47 Sharonâs early career
13:41 Richard Schwartz & a new look at being a compassionate witness for oneself
16:05 Ex-gang members, ex-prisoners, and their trauma
18:15 Sharonâs first time at South Central meeting
20:00 Sharon mentors one of the ex-prisoners through college
21:19 How Sharon feels about her transformed clients
22:24 Self-esteem and significance
23:20 Racism and intolerance v understanding and compassion
24:24 Advice for parents of struggling teens
26:26 Practicing awareness to improve your parenting
31:25 Thinking in terms of triggered PARTS
32:00 Triangles in relationships
33:24 Resilience of your spirit
35:05 Can healing happen without extensive therapy and resources?
41:20 Sharonâs advice for Joey, Beth, and Jan
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
Beth hears the story of Stan DeWitt, an adult adoptee who has recently been reunited with his birth family. Stan looks back on his adolescence and talks about how adoption has affected his life. This is a happy story full of love, self-awareness, acceptance, and coincidences that are almost too wild to believe.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Stan DeWittâs website: https://www.standewitt.com/
Stanâs blog: https://acustatic.blogspot.com/2021/10/schrodingers-son.html?fbclid=IwAR3yPn0T1lXoZioTaBrWMQ_IlRuFdLeZ3GIB51hDRxyNP8UbGZ4GnM7OL0w
SchrĂśdinger's cat explanation: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schr%C3%B6dinger%27s_cat
Stanâs rock opera: https://www.amazon.com/Silver-Bullet-Opera-Sound-Ministry/dp/B06XTC52TX
Long Beach Youth Chorus: https://www.longbeachyouthchorus.org/
=======================================
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
=======================================
RESOURCES:
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/
Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
=======================================
TIME STAMPS:
2:12 Introducing Stan DeWitt, adult adoptee
2:38 Stanâs adoption story
4:45 Teen and young adult years
8:01 Stanâs adoptive parents pass away, start of birth family search
10:35 Finding Stanâs birthmother
13:20 DNA tests
18:54 Finding Stanâs birthfather
21:27 The things that helped make reunion possible for Stan
24:12 The need for grounding
27:00 Stanâs advice for adopted people
27:26 Learning to use boundaries
28:28 Intergenerational trauma
31:08 Stan is childless - a connection?
34:00 SchrĂśdinger's son
36:30 How to connect with Stan and his work
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
Joey rejoins the podcast for this special episode about his relapse. In his chat with Beth, he offers a boots-on-the-ground perspective about what caused his relapse, how things are going for him, and what he sees his future holding for him.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
=======================================
RESOURCES:
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/
Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
TIME STAMPS:
1:50 - Joeyâs boots on the ground reporting of his relapse
3:18 - What led up to Joeyâs relapse
4:34 - Joey talks about his enabler
6:47 - Benefits of getting kicked out
7:21 - Joeyâs plan for dealing with his dad
8:39 - Sober living housing
10:08 - What Beth or Jan couldâve done to prevent Joeyâs relapse
12:15 - Letting natural consequences occur
13:26 - Joeyâs self-destruct cycle, but heâs still trying
15:16 - What Joey needs the most today
16:26 - Difference between connection/support and enabling
17:08 - Does yelling or shaming work? V
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
Itâs been 6 weeks since Joey relapsed and moved back to his dadâs house. In this episode, Jan and Beth talk about how theyâre dealing with his downward spiral.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
=======================================
RESOURCES:
And here are some resources for therapy, coaching, and counseling:
Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
TIME STAMPS:
1:17 The relapse story continues, 6 weeks later
2:13 Keeping a positive connection
4:47 Parentsâ reaction to Joey getting caught stealing
6:05 Bethâs dream for societyâs support for troubled teens
8:16 âCome, Come, Whoever You Areâ
9:44 Safe Home approach v Tough Love approach
10:55 Our parental anxiety during relapse
12:25 Joeyâs 2nd traumatic event in one night
13:47 Joey ditched Jan and Beth for pumpkin patch date
16:20 Joey âlosing credibilityâ
19:00 Our advice for parents with kids who relapse
26:25 How Joeyâs adoption contributed to his pain
27:20 What Jan and Beth would do differently if they could do it all over
28:05 Joeyâs birthday angst
30:00 Some of the signs of trouble that Jan and Beth missed
34:09 Take the spotlight off your kid sometimes
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
Beth and Joey compare notes about the way depression feels for each of them. (This episode was recorded several weeks ago, before Joey's relapse.)
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
=======================================
RESOURCES:
Here are some resources for teens and others who are struggling right now:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: call 800-273-8255 - 24/7
Lifeline Chat: https://Suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat - 24/7
Teen Line: call 310-855-HOPE 6-10pm PST Or text TEEN to 839863 Talk to other trained teens
Youthline: call 877-968-8491 4-10pm PST Or text Teen2Teen to 839863.
Need2Text: text TALK to 38255 24/7
And here are some resources for therapy, coaching, and counseling:
Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
=======================================
For those listening to these episodes in order, Joey is still in relapse mode at the time of this episode's publication, but it was recorded about 6 weeks ago while he was still living with Beth and Jan.
TIME STAMPS:
1:19 What is depression for Joey?
2:08 What is depression for Beth?
3:57 Depression to numb out
4:43 Joeyâs first experiences with depression
6:02 Did depression affect Joeyâs decision to use substances?
7:06 Drugs as depressants
9:04 How Joey pulls out of a depression cycle
12:47 How Beth pulls out of a depression cycle
13:22 Bethâs depression history
17:48 Passive suicidality and suicide attempts
19:38 How psychedelics mixed with Joeyâs depression
22:40 Depression while sober v while using substances
23:31 Dreaming to deal with depression
28:05 The one thing that helps Beth the most with depression
29:48 What Joey suggests for someone struggling right now
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
Two moms talk about how they've managed their own lives while trying to support their kids struggling with substances. Beth chats with Heather Ross, who was her and Jan's parenting life coach last year, and who has an amazing podcast called Living With Addiction.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
=======================================
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
Here is our life coach Heather Rossâs Living With Addiction podcast episode that is mentioned, on which you can hear Beth, Jan, and Joey as her guests. Subscribe to her podcast to listen to her other episodes too!
Find Heather Ross Coaching on Facebook and Instagram.
Find a life coach on any number of topics at https://thelifecoachschool.com/
=======================================
RESOURCES:
Here are some resources for teens and others who are struggling right now:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: call 800-273-8255 - 24/7
Lifeline Chat: https://Suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat - 24/7
Teen Line: call 310-855-HOPE 6-10pm PST Or text TEEN to 839863 Talk to other trained teens
Youthline: call 877-968-8491 4-10pm PST Or text Teen2Teen to 839863.
Need2Text: text TALK to 38255 24/7
And here are some resources for therapy, coaching, and counseling:
Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
TIME STAMPS:
2:05 What is life coaching?
2:50 Parents canât stop their kid from using substances
7:30 How to deal with parental guilt about the past
10:47 How to deal with parental anxiety about the future
13:14 Heatherâs history with her daughter and life coaching
17:10 Parental support that Beth experienced (or not)
20:40 Beth taking care of Beth so she could take care of Joey
22:04 Parent coaching can help every relationship
24:05 How Bethâs and Heatherâs kids want to help others with our podcasts
26:58 Heatherâs experience with AA and Alanon
28:00 Releasing judgment for families with struggling teens
31:50 The self-coaching model that Heather uses - Think/Feel/Act cycle
36:40 How to find Heather Ross Coaching
37:10 How to find any life coach in general - Life Coach School
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this episode, Jan talks with Beth about her experience with speed in her 20s, plus other stimulants she's used (and continues to use).
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
RESOURCES:
Narcotics Anonymous: https://na.org/
âADHD Prescription Drug Abuse: Do You Know Why Itâs Wrong?â https://parenting.kars4kids.org/adhd-prescription-drug-abuse-know-wrong/
Here are some resources for teens and others who are struggling right now:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: call 800-273-8255 - 24/7
Lifeline Chat: https://Suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat - 24/7
Teen Line: call 310-855-HOPE 6-10pm PST Or text TEEN to 839863 Talk to other trained teens
Youthline: call 877-968-8491 4-10pm PST Or text Teen2Teen to 839863.
Need2Text: text TALK to 38255 24/7
And here are some resources for therapy, coaching, and counseling:
Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
TIME STAMPS:
1:00 Update on Joeyâs status
3:20 Janâs history with using speed
6:56 What it feels like to be on speed
8:00 Why Jan got kicked out of the Air Force
11:05 Janâs low point led her to using speed
12:06 How stimulants affect hunger and weight
13:20 Cocaine v speed
16:11 Why Jan quit using stimulants
18:00 Janâs first NA meeting
21:55 Why Jan was drawn to stimulants v depressants
22:47 Jan made do with low-paying jobs
27:46 Caffeine, chocolate, and sugar as stimulants
31:15 Ritalin and Adderall used and sold by kids
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this episode, Beth talks with special guest Emma Roberts from National Harm Reduction Coalition about what her organization is doing to help mitigate harm from opiates and other substances.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
RESOURCES:
National Harm Reduction Coalition: https://harmreduction.org/
Find Naloxone near you (to reverse opiate overdose): https://harmreduction.org/resource-center/harm-reduction-near-you/
Find sterile syringes near you: https://www.nasen.org/map/
Johann Hariâs TED talk âEverything you think you know about addiction is wrongâ that Emma mentioned in the podcast: https://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_everything_you_think_you_know_about_addiction_is_wrong?language=en
Here are some resources for teens and others who are struggling right now:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: call 800-273-8255 - 24/7
Lifeline Chat: https://Suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat - 24/7
Teen Line: call 310-855-HOPE 6-10pm PST Or text TEEN to 839863 Talk to other trained teens
Youthline: call 877-968-8491 4-10pm PST Or text Teen2Teen to 839863.
Need2Text: text TALK to 38255 24/7
And here are some resources for therapy, coaching, and counseling:
Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
TIME STAMPS:
1:35 Emma Robertsâ background with harm reduction work
5:10 Definition of harm reduction philosophy
6:50 Harm reduction v. âJust Say Noâ
7:10 Harm reduction origins with AIDS
8:40 Connection as antidote to addiction
11:30 Frustrations with our Kaiser Permanente healthcare system
16:17 Harm reduction offers more tools for your tool kit
18:47 Harm reduction in sex ed
20:15 Opiate overdoses higher since Covid
22:08 Presence of fentanyl
23:44 Importance of having Narcan/Naloxone available
25:50 Where to get Narcan/Naloxone
28:16 Indiana outbreak of opiate overdoses
31:25 Syringe services
31:58 Teens and opioids 35:46 Risks of injecting substances 42:27 War on the War on Drugs 45:57 Looking for the root cause of substance use 48:17 Proliferation of opioid prescriptions 51:28 Labelling people as addicts 53:20 Drug/Set/Setting - evaluating risk 57:21 How we can support National Harm Reduction Coalition (HarmReduction.org) 59:57 Loving people back to health
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this episode, Joey talks to Beth about the ways he's used alcohol, the alcohol culture among high schoolers, the dangers of alcohol use, and alternative ways that kids get ahold of alcohol. (This episode was recorded before Joey's relapse.)
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
RESOURCES:
Here are some resources for teens and others who are struggling right now:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: call 800-273-8255 - 24/7
Lifeline Chat: https://Suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat - 24/7
Teen Line: call 310-855-HOPE 6-10pm PST Or text TEEN to 839863 Talk to other trained teens
Youthline: call 877-968-8491 4-10pm PST Or text Teen2Teen to 839863.
Need2Text: text TALK to 38255 24/7
And here are some resources for therapy, coaching, and counseling:
Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
NOTE: If you heard Episode 6 - Relapse - you might remember that Joey has relapsed recently but had given us his blessing to continue the podcast without him until he could come back when he's sober. This episode (and one more) had been recorded before his relapse, so we are publishing it now.
TIME STAMPS:
1:40 Todayâs high school kidsâ use of alcohol
3:59 Blacked out
6:09 âStupid shitâ Joeyâs done while drinking
19:52 Drunk driving
20:34 Alcohol overdose and alcohol poisoning
22:25 Why kids want to drink and get drunk
23:38 Joeyâs advice for dealing with depression using substances
25:23 How Joey got his alcohol
28:15 How often Joey drank
29:49 What parents should do with their own alcohol at home
30:54 How alcohol affected his school performance
32:58 Alternative ways kids get ahold of alcohol - hand sanitizer, etc.
37:36 What parents should do if their child is drinking alcohol
45:27 Donât quit drinking cold turkey
47:20 Donât mix any other substance with alcohol
49:10 Roll blacked out drinker on their side so they donât die from choking on their own vomit
50:30 Suicidal ideation and effects ==of suicide on others
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
This is a raw debriefing by Jan and Beth about Joey's relapse that happened earlier that day. Joey moved back to his dad's house in order to use substances again. He gave Jan and Beth his blessing (before his relapse) to continue the podcast and to talk about how relapse is a very common part of recovery.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
Here is our life coach Heather Rossâs Living With Addiction podcast episode that is mentioned, on which you can hear Beth, Jan, and Joey as her guests. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-40-supporting-your-childs-healing-journey/id1543141299?i=1000534800683
RESOURCES:
Here are some resources for teens and others who are struggling right now:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: call 800-273-8255 - 24/7
Lifeline Chat: https://Suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat - 24/7
Teen Line: call 310-855-HOPE 6-10pm PST Or text TEEN to 839863 Talk to other trained teens
Youthline: call 877-968-8491 4-10pm PST Or text Teen2Teen to 839863.
Need2Text: text TALK to 38255 24/7
And here are some resources for therapy, coaching, and counseling:
Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this episode, Joey talks with Beth about his extensive experience with psychedelics, especially LSD and DMT. He talks about why he likes to use them, how psychedelics can be unsafe - and how they can be used in a therapeutic manner under specific circumstances.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
RESOURCES:
Here are some resources for teens and others who are struggling right now:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: call 800-273-8255 - 24/7
Lifeline Chat: https://Suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat - 24/7
Teen Line: call 310-855-HOPE 6-10pm PST Or text TEEN to 839863 Talk to other trained teens
Youthline: call 877-968-8491 4-10pm PST Or text Teen2Teen to 839863.
Need2Text: text TALK to 38255 24/7
And here are some resources for therapy, coaching, and counseling:
Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
TIME STAMPS:
1:54 Types of psychedelics kids are using
3:54 Why do people use psychedelics?
6:00 What is a trip?
10:35 What is a bad trip?
16:33 DMT
19:00 Joeyâs mental health issues from psychedelics
20:16 Joeyâs suicide attempts
24:58 Psychedelic integration circles
28:00 How Joey obtained psychedelics at school
30:00 Therapeutic uses of psychedelics
36:48 Holotropic breathwork
46:00 Mushrooms
47:52 Joeyâs advice to kids interested in trying psychedelics
49:00 Joeyâs advice to parents
54:44 Deep existential thoughts from Joey
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
in this episode, the whole family - Jan, Beth, and Joey - talk about nicotine. Jan used nicotine (among other things) and tells Joey it was the hardest drug to quit. Joey talks about the prevalence of nicotine and vaping in schools and suggests ways that parents can help their kids if they get into vaping.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
RESOURCES:
Here are some resources for teens and others who are struggling right now:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: call 800-273-8255 - 24/7
Lifeline Chat: https://Suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat - 24/7
Teen Line: call 310-855-HOPE 6-10pm PST Or text TEEN to 839863 Talk to other trained teens
Youthline: call 877-968-8491 4-10pm PST Or text Teen2Teen to 839863.
Need2Text: text TALK to 38255 24/7
And here are some resources for therapy, coaching, and counseling:
Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
NICOTINE INFO:
Truth Initiative: Inspiring Lives Free from Smoking, Vaping, and Nicotine - https://truthinitiative.org/our-top-issues/vaping-issue
The Vaping Fix podcast - https://wondery.com/shows/the-vaping-fix/
TIME STAMPS:
2:07 Janâs experience with nicotine
6:04 Janâs experience quitting meth v quitting nicotine
6:53 Nicotine ads 9:30 Big Tobacco
10:50 Names of vape products
12:20 Difference between smoking and vaping
14:05 Vaping system costs
17:50 Why do people use nicotine
19:30 Using nicotine without getting addicted
20:10 Downsides of using nicotine
21:00 How kids procure nicotine
22:37 Nicotine then and now
26:57 Peer pressure
30:15 How Joey and Jan got off nicotine
40:00 Preventing kids from starting using nicotine
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this episode, Joey and Beth talk about cannabis and vaping. Joey helps parents and other adults understand how kids are using cannabis today, why it's more harmful than when they were kids, and how to help kids who are using cannabis.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
RESOURCES:
Here are some resources for teens and others who are struggling right now:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: call 800-273-8255 - 24/7
Lifeline Chat: https://Suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat - 24/7
Teen Line: call 310-855-HOPE 6-10pm PST Or text TEEN to 839863 Talk to other trained teens
Youthline: call 877-968-8491 4-10pm PST Or text Teen2Teen to 839863.
Need2Text: text TALK to 38255 24/7
And here are some resources for therapy, coaching, and counseling:
Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
TIME STAMPS:
1:36 Edibles
4:11 Vaping THC
4:30 Blunts & Joints
6:00 Vape Pens
7:22 Vaping Flavors
8:08 Distillate v Live Resins
11:14 Smoking Cannabis
12:29 Vape Pods & Cartridges
14:48 Dabbing
16:32 Other Paraphernalia
16:50 Good effects of cannabis
18:00 Tolerance
18:50 Dangers of cannabis
20:30 Vaping in class
21:45 Joeyâs first experience with cannabis
22:49 Athletics as insurance policy? Not!
24:00 Teens, cannabis, and mental health
26:50 Mental addiction to cannabis
28:27 3 strains of cannabis
30:51 Psychedelics v cannabis
31:37 Drug testing
32:05 Delta 8
33:10 Driving on cannabis
35:22 Police reaction to teen cannabis use
40:21 Where do kids get cannabis
42:13 Weed delivery
42:40 Advice to parents if their child is using cannabis
43:48 Lung problems
45:04 CBD
46:12 How to get off cannabis
48:10 Benefits of quitting cannabis
49:33 More advice to parents and other caring adults
51:10 Trauma and substance use
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this episode, Joey talks with Beth about his addiction to Coricidin and Benadryl in high doses. These over the counter medicines are extremely dangerous in high doses, yet they're very available to teens. Many adults aren't aware that kids are using these substances.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
RESOURCES:
Here are some resources for teens and others who are struggling right now:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: call 800-273-8255 - 24/7
Lifeline Chat: https://Suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat - 24/7
Teen Line: call 310-855-HOPE 6-10pm PST Or text TEEN to 839863 Talk to other trained teens
Youthline: call 877-968-8491 4-10pm PST Or text Teen2Teen to 839863.
Need2Text: text TALK to 38255 24/7
And here are some resources for therapy, coaching, and counseling:
Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
Time Stamps:
2:00 - Names and nicknames of cough medicines and other OTC medicines that
3:06 - Why people like to use medium and high doses of these OTC medicines
5:13 - What is harmful about using these medicines in medium or high doses
11:31 - Joeyâs introduction to using these substances
18:04 - Joeyâs low point
28:05 - What Joey did to quit taking cough medicine 3
2:10 - Advice for parents and other adults to help keep kids safe from cough medicine
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
In this inaugural episode, meet 17yo Joey and his mom Beth as they explain the premise of this podcast and share their background.
===============
đ Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Safe Home is created by Joseph Nakao and his moms Beth Syverson and Jan Mabie
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Cover art by Joseph Nakao, photo by Beth Syverson, with design help from Nina Smith
Email questions or comments to Safe Home at SafeHomePodcast@gmail.com
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube
Support Safe Home on Patreon
RESOURCES:
Here are some resources for teens and others who are struggling right now:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: call 800-273-8255 - 24/7
Lifeline Chat: https://Suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat - 24/7
Teen Line: call 310-855-HOPE 6-10pm PST Or text TEEN to 839863 Talk to other trained teens
Youthline: call 877-968-8491 4-10pm PST Or text Teen2Teen to 839863. Need2Text: text TALK to 38255 24/7
And here are some resources for therapy, coaching, and counseling:
Find a Tele-Therapist: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/online-counseling
Miguel Rosell - Guided Core Integration: https://miguelrosell.com/
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/ T
Time Stamps:
1:58 Joeyâs introduction
4:51 Bethâs introduction
9:22 Whatâs next for Safe Home?
10:20 Joeyâs song âWorth Itâ "Worth It" by Joseph Nakao
LYRICS: Looking down staring at the street Never look up at hope, when I mope When I took the time to think I geeked Never losing sight that I might end it all tonight In spite the love I feel tonight Shame in my eyes After the fact I tried No one understands my pain Feeling all alone inside Might as well suicide Nothing feels alright feels alright Doing all the drugs to numb out Speaking in tongues to nod out Is it worth it Is it worth it Can I come out of this pain manifesting inside me Someone come find me Someone came and found me Out of this ditch I found me Family and friends stood by me Now I see the light inside me Thank God for the light Now I never feel the fright Looking down staring at the street Never look up at hope, when I mope When I took the time to think I geeked Never losing sight that I might end it all tonight In spite the love I feel tonight Shame in my eyes After the fact I tried No one understands my pain Feeling all alone inside Might as well suicide Nothing feels alright feels alright
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message