Solid: Recent Episodes
Jake Beckman
It was much more fun last year when the Battlehawks' last game was AJ throwing for 420 yards and 6 TDs... This game was a disgusting blunder on all levels.
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Previewing the XFLCCG and figuring out what this offense can do to come back from an abysmal performance in Week 10. The Hakeem Butler stuff dropped literally the minute I stopped recording, good for him!
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Shouts to Chris Garrett for assaulting kicked footballs. The UFL desperately needed an official Kratom sponsorship. Looking at what changes the Brahmas could make to beat the Battlehawks.
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Beating a team 3 times is much easier than you thought and running through the All-UFL team. "Ka-KAW of the Week" winners make a showing which means I'm the smartest person in the world.
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If you don't like numbers, you're going to hate this. If you like numbers, it'll be right up your alley. Reviewing the Battlehawks full season stats and how they compare to the rest of the league. @ThePuntRunts on Twitter ruined basic punt stats for me, so we don't get into that (also check them out)
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ReKAWping the Battlehawks 13-12 win over the San Antonio Brahmas and giving out the weekly awards. It was just as disgusting as we thought, but not as bad.
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Reacting to the Battlehawks DISGUSTING Week 10 win over the San Antonio Brahmas. A win is a win and the XFL Championship game is at home, thanks to AJ's off-field brains.
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Retelling the tale and tragedy of the Manny Wilkins Week 9 game, awards (Sam Acho is a fortune teller), and previewing the Battlehawks final regular season game.
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Reacting to the Battlehawks Week 9 loss to the Arlington Renegades. Yes, the game inevitably meant nothing, but vibes are at an all-time low. Manny Wilkins is not that guy.
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Closing the book on Manny Wilkins' debut, giving out Awards (Gregg Williams is a total weirdo about everything), and previewing the Battlehawks Week 9 game against a dead team in Arlington.
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Your St. Louis Battlehawks are going to the playoffs and that is all that matters. It doesn't matter about the run-to-pass distribution, the number of completions, or the number of sacks that were allowed. All that matters is that they won... but we're still gonna talk about everything that's bad because why not?
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Getting the taste of Week 7 out of our mouths (with an all-new petty award) in the reKAWp, and then previewing the Battlehawks' first rematch of the season in Week 8 against the DC Defenders. Did you know that Gregg Williams knew Buddy Ryan?
A reaction to the Battlehawks Week 7 loss to the Birmingham Stallions. AJ McCarron is hurt. The offense is bad. The defense was exposed. I'm hungover.
A look back at what went right and what went wrong for the Battlehawks in Week 6 and then we look into the matchups (there are a lot) and the problems (also, a lot) that the Battlehawks could run into against the Birmingham Stallions in Week 7.
The St. Louis Battlehawks get to 5-1 after a 22-8(6) win over the Houston Roughnecks. Another defensive showcase and a frustratingly efficient offensive outing. Big Tony Becht: The Maverick.
ReKAWping the Battlehawks Week 5 destruction of the DC defenders and looking into what threats the Houston Roughnecks might pose.
We know how the Battlehawks have done so far this season, but how does that compare to the rest of the UFL? This is a whole lot of numbers.
The Battlehawks have the most frustratingly dominant win in the UFL this season by beating the DC Defenders 45-12. Reggie Barlow is not a good head coach and Jordan Taamu's brain is mashed potatoes.
Week 4 wasn't as pretty as it seemed and BG's got himself an issue with play calling. Now we're onto the DC Defenders in Week 5 on Sunday morning, yuck.
Reaction to the Battlehawks Week 4 decimation of the Memphis Showboats. Can you imagine letting a team have a third-down conversion?
Wrapping up the Battlehawks Week 3 game (BIG Hot Mic game) and figuring out what's going to happen in Week 4. Jahcour Pearson game incoming?
The Battlehawks are 2-1 and at the top of the XFL conference after beating the San Antonio Brahmas 31-24. Is this the Hakeem Butler game or the Hot Mic game?
Tying a knot on the Battlehawks Week 2 game, weekly awards (shout out to ESPN for the broadcast team), and previewing their Week 3 game with the San Antonio Brahmas.
The Battlehawks won in a game that was both ruthlessly frustrating and thrilling for 60 minutes. We have confirmed that Mateo Durant does, indeed, have legs.
Tying the knot on the Battlehawks Week 1 game and previewing and predicting their Week 2 game at home against the Arlington Renegades.
The St. Louis Battlehawks lost to the Michigan Panthers in Week 1 of the 2024 UFL season. We're getting a first reaction to what we saw in that game and giving out some awards. Jake Bates is our daddy.
How do you preview the Week 1 game for a team full of players you don't know? You get introduced to them. That's this episode. Plenty of familiar faces and a whole lot of new guys.
Breaking down the Battlehawks on the All-XFL and who absolutely doesn't deserve to be there.
A full-blown reKAWp of the Battlehawks 2023 season.
Just flip a goddamned coin.
Who's good enough to be an NFL guy?
Who's absolutely not?
Awards for the whole season.
And more.
A reaction to the Battlehawks' dominant, yet lacking 53-28 win over the Orlando Guardians.
AJ McCarron: confirmed weed guy.
It took 10 weeks, but now Kareem Walker knows the playbook.
Jordan Thomas' likeness to a Mega Zord
Maybe don't get an interception on 4th down.
You should probably expect a fake punt from a 1-8 team.
You should probably expect 2 fake punts from a 1-8 team.
I wish I could feel better about a 50 Burger.
And more.
A whole ass breakdown of the Battlehawks regular season finale against the 1-8 Orlando Guardians.
Guardians are here to be a buncha dicks.
What exactly needs to happen for the Battlehawks to get to the postseason.
The best way to win is to commit murder.
Is AJ healthy, or near death?
Jordan Thomas' legs are how big?
The least confident prediction.
And more
A full-blown reKAWp of the Battlehawks' 30-12 week 9 loss to the Seattle Sea Dragons
AJ got hit again and looked like an old.
Gary Jennings RB1?
Hakeem Butler is allergic to blocking
Bruce Gradkowski broke his own brain.
Silas Kelly is bad for Mullets.
Ka KAW of the week.
Tyrant of the week.
Body Dysmorphia of the week.
And more
A reaction to the Battlehawks' debilitating week 9 loss to the Seattle Sea Dragons.
I hate Ben Dinucci.
Hakeem Butler got how many yards?
That's actually a really good way to use Gary Jennings.
Dean Blandino is winning his fight against Anthony Becht.
Phillip Lindsay is hurting his chances of getting into the NFL.
Jahcour Pearson is terrifying.
and more.
A big ol' preview of the Battlehawks' week 9 game against the 5-3 Seattle Sea Dragons:
Brian Hill has a disease
Ben DiNucci has an addiction
Jake Suthlerand can be a king
Josh Gordon is still there
Travis Feeney could kill a man on Sunday
and more
A full-blown reKAWp of the Battlehawks' 21-17 overtime win against the now buried, dead, and forgotten Vegas Vipers.
Nick Tiano is QB 2, even when he's a starter.
Brian Hill and his grip strength.
Marcell Ateman's skill set is literally unlearnable.
Coach Becht and Dean Blandino's feud.
Travis Feeney only does good things and I won't hear anything different.
Ka KAW of the Week.
Ka KAWord of the Week.
Jalan McClendon found the blueprint to scoring on this defense.
Immodium Player of the Week.
And more.
A reaction to the Battlehawks' week 8 butthole-clenching win.
Coach Becht is a confirmed listener to the podcast.
OT rules are kinda sick.
Nick Tiano is certainly a QB, and that's just about it.
Brian Hill might be a problem.
I was wrong about Jalan McClendon, but also I was kinda right.
And more.
A whole birds-eye preview of the Battlehawks' week 8 match-up against the Vegas Vipers.
XFL Schedulers are back on their bullshit again.
Jalan McClendon is fun at worst and good at best.
Maximilian Roberts and Pita Taumoepetu.
Brian Hill with the butter hands.
Marcell "the shell with shoes on" Ateman
Just how many penalty yards did Vegas have last week?
and more.
A full-blown reKAWp of the Battlehawks' 24-15 win over the Houston Roughnecks.
AJ's issues and lack thereof.
Coach Becht remembered that he was a tight end.
The offensive line isn't totally embarrassing anymore.
Ted from Nothern Wisconsin is a hero.
Prosthetic legs built for children.
Brendan Sebastian's family motto.
Weekly awards and more.
A reaction to the Battlehawks' Week 7 25-15 thumping of the Houston Roughnecks.
AJ Smith's outfit of choice.
I'm worried about Brian Hill.
Dean Blandino is very very incredibly bad at his job.
I never once doubted Donnie Hageman ever, I promise.
How to fix dead ball penalties.
A full-blown preview of the Battlehawks' week 7 game against the Houston Roughnecks.
XFL rigged?
The Roughnecks are maybe not good... maybe?
A potential 6'6" v 5'10" matchup?
Bounce that MF ball outside.
AJ Smith is a true psychopath for the ages.
Every reason to love Cole McDonald.
And much more.
Full reKAWp of the Battlehawks week 6 29-6 decimation of the Las Vegas Vipers.
What can't AJ do?
The O-Line is addicted to penalties.
Jake Sutherland saved the day?
Travis Feeney's got that thang on 'em.
We killed Luis Perez.
And a whole bunch of new and old awards.
A reaction to the Battlehawks Week 6 bashing of the Vegas Vipers in a 29-6 win.
QB/OC AJMcCarron?
Are all sacks created equal?
Spoiler for the "ka KAW of the week"
Lavert Hill is on this football team and we all forgot about that.
How's it going, just like, in general?
Is it that bad?
Is this defense allergic to sacks?
There's a guy named Maximillian who goes by Maximillian, which is nuts.
The Vipers' new OC is too big for his boots.
Does someone win this game or does someone lose it?
A full-blown reKAWp of the Battlehawks' week 5 28-20 loss to the DC Defenders.
Who's a big coward?
Who's to blame for 0-yard runs?
Who's to blame for 62-yard and 70-yard runs?
Who wins Ka KAW of the Week?
How many more pointless awards can I come with?
Reaction to the Battlehawks Week 5 28-20 loss to the DC Defenders.
Why long rushing touchdowns are gross, why the offensive line's performance was my fault, and why you should maybe kind of take it easy on the defense.
A full preview of the Battlehawks' Week 5 rematch against the DC Defenders. This is a short one because there's not a whole of new stuff to cover since we just did this game a couple of weeks ago.
A new Lineman nickname, the defensive backs exposed themselves again, Hakeem Butler is a bully in real life, Travis Feeney with an all-time great impact ratio, Ka KAW of the Week, Uh UH of the week, and more.
A reaction to the BattleHawks 24-11 win over the Dallas Renegades.
Why does the Vander Esch name curse me specifically?
Is AJ McCarron a bully?
Is the offensive line fixed?
Answers to all of that stuff and more.
A preview of the BattleHawks Week 4 HOME OPENER against the Renegades.
Where are the Renegades REALLY from? Does it suck to tear your ACL and just how often is a 30 year old in agony because of it? Is Bobs Stoops a bone Head or not? Who will turn the ball over more? I have answers to all of those questions.
A full reKAWp of the BattleHawks week 3 game against the DC Defenders.
A breakdown of who's in the Dog House, Jake Sutherland's physique, Hakeem Butler being a bully, and what physical deformities the backup offensive tackles must have.
The St. Louis BattleHawks fall to 2-1 after a loss to the DC Defenders. Jake's here with an Instant reaction to the loss.
Key take aways, best ways to get ejected, and Donny Hageman's kick counter.
A preview of the XFL Week 3 game between 2-0 STL Battlehawks and the 2-0 DC Defenders.
Dr. Heat to Kevin James and everything you need to know going into week 3.
Who has Butts for Hands? Is Gary a football guy name? Should the Offensive Tackle take a trip to the Sun?
All of those questions are answered on this week 2 ReKAWp.
Reacting to the 2-0 Battlehawks week 2 victory on Thursday night over the 0-2 Sea Sdragons.
We're previewing the 1-0 St. Louis Battlehawks week 2 game against the 0-1 Seattle Sea Dragons.
If you're feeling uneasy, you're right.
A full-on deep dive reKAWp of the Battlehawks week 1 18-15 win over the San Antonio Brahmas.
Covering AJ McCarron, Kareem Walker's lack of a brain, the whole offense, and everything in between.
The St. Louis Battlehawks are an unapologetic 1-0 after a late-game comeback against the San Antonio Brahmas.
We scratch the surface of the comeback, what worked and what didn't, and who was scared during the game.
This Week's Schedule:
Monday: Reaction
Tuesday: More in-depth recap
Wednesday: Week 2 preview
Listen, no one knows what's going to happen, but there are things that I want to see and some things that I'm afraid of seeing. Let's get into it.
No one knows anything about the new Battlehawks team, so I did the research and I'm going to introduce them to you. A couple of rugby guys here. VERY interesting...
No one knows anything about the new Battlehawks team, so I did the research and I'm going to introduce them to you. And these linebacker fellas? They might be real.
No one knows anything about the new Battlehawks team, so I did the research and I'm going to introduce them to you. Have you met the DBs? probz not.
A breakdown of Superbowl LVII between the Chiefs and the Eagles.
Eagles ML
Eagles O27.5
Kenny G O21.5 Rushing Yards
No one knows anything about the new Battlehawks team, so I did the research and I'm going to introduce you to them. Here's the offensive line.
No one really knows anything about the new Battlehawks team, so I did the research and I'm going to introduce the guys to you. Have you met the tight ends? Turns out they're pretty goddamned big.
No one knows anything about anyone on the new Battlehawks team, so I did the research and I'm going to introduce them to you. Have you met the running backs? They big.
No one knows anything about the guys on the new Battlehawks team, so I did the research and I'm going to introduce them to you. Have you met the wide receivers? Now you have.
No one knows anything about the new Battlehawks team, so I did the research and I'm going to introduce them to you. Have you met the quarterbacks?
No one knows anyone on the new Battlehawks team, so I did the research and I'll introduce them to you. Here's La'Roi Glover and Dave Steckel.
No one knows anything about any people on the new Battlehawks team, so I did the research and I'll introduce you to them. Here's the offensive position group coaches.
No one knows anything about any of the people on the new Battlehawks team, so I did the research and I'll introduce you to them. Here's Bruce and Donnie.
A breakdown of the NFL Divisional round Sunday games.
Bills/Bengals O49
1Q Bills -3
49ers -4
A breakdown of the NFL Divisional Round Saturday Slate.
Jags +9.5
Boston Scott ATTD
Eagles TTO 27.5
No one knows anything about any of the people on the new Battlehawks team, so I did the research and I'll introduce you to them.
Have you met Anthony Becht? now you have. Kinda.
A breakdown of the NFL Wildcard Sunday (and Monday Slate).
Bills -14
Giants +3
6pt teaser: Bengals -3, Buccaneers +8.5
A breakdown of the NFL Wildcard weekend Saturday Slate of games.
Seahawks/49ers U 42
Jaguars +2.5
A breakdown of the NFL Week 18 Saturday slate of games.
6-Point Teaser:
Chiefs -2.5, Jags -.5
Breakdown of NFL Week 17's Thursday night game between Dallas and some guys who might live somewhere in Tennessee.
Dallas -13 if you're a dork.
Under 40 if you're a real one.
Breakdown of the NFL Week 16 Sunday slate of games.
Packers/Dolphins U49.5
Broncos -3
Buccs/Cardinals U 40.5
A breakdown of the NFL Week 16 Saturday slate of games.
Bengals -3
6-Point Teaser: 49ers -.5/Raiders +8
Breakdown of the NFL Week 14 Sunday slate.
Ravens/Steelers U 36.5
Jets +10
Chiefs/Broncos U 44
Dolphins -3
Breakdown of the Week 14 Thursday night football game between the Raiders and the Rams.
6pt Teaser: Raiders -1, Vikings +8.5
I said Rams -1, I meant Raiders -1.
A breakdown of the NFL week 13 slate.
Jets +3
Broncos Ravens U 39.5
6pt Teaser Seahawks -1, Chargers +8.5
Colts +10.5
Breakdown of the Week 13 Thursday night game between the Bills and the Patriots
Bills -4
A breakdown of the Week 11 Thursday night game between the Titans and the Packers.
Titans -3
U 41.5
A breakdown of the NFL week 9 slate of games.
Vikings -3
Falcons ML
Rams/Buccs U 42.5
Titans +12.5
Breaking down the week 9 Thursday night football game between the Eagles and the Texans.
Eagles -14
A breakdown of the Week 8 Sunday NFL slate.
Broncos/Jags U 40.5
Raiders -1.5
49er/Rams U 42
Bills -10.5
Breakdown of the NFL Week 7 Sunday slate.
Giants +3
Falcons +7
Seahawks/Chargers O 50
6pt Teaser Dolphins -1.5, Patriots -1.5
Breakdown of the Week 7 Thursday Night Football game between the Cardinals and the Saints.
Cardinals -1
Breakdown of the Sunday slate for week 6 of this NFL season.
Vikings -3
Cardinals/Seahawks O50.5
Chargers -4.5
Breakdown of the Week 6 Thursday Night Football game between the Commanders and the Bears.
Breaking down the week 5 Thursday Night Football game between the Colts and the Broncos.