Big Job Small Children: Recent Episodes
Mark McCartney
Can you thrive at work and still be a great working dad?
I'm a leadership coach. I coach working dads like you in senior positions. Working dads who want to thrive at work. Working dads who want to thrive as parents.
Every Friday I will share a thought on this theme. You will be encouraged to take an action the next week. Over time you will free up more time to focus on your children by reducing wasteful busyness.
Episode Notes I'm asking change makers across the world about what changes they are seeing in the workplace. Three questions are explored in each episode. The purpose of this series is to provide guidance for those of you considering changing organisation because your current organisation does not enable you to thrive at work and home.
This week we visit Canada.
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Episode Notes Summertime and the living is hard Welcome to episode two. Close email. Turn off your phone. Take out a notepad and pencil. Write down one capability you most want to improve this summer. Deloitte like many others tell us that upskilling is the only way to future-proof ourselves. Agreed. But where is the time? There are inboxes to clear. Life to live. Kids to play with. Family to see. Bodies to keep fit. Minds that need meditating. My tip: forget skills for now. Think capabilities. They last. They are the soil in which new skills grow. I suggest you pick a capability you think is most worth building and then learn all you can about it. Read. Ask others. Find opportunities to practice. Take a look at the Deloitte report by all means for some suggestions. Then pick one. Tell me how you get on. It will feel good to spend a little time thinking about this and even better when you do something. Please let me know what happens …. It does not matter how old you are or how little time you have … investing in you is the best step and it sends a message to your children that you are far from done with learning in fact you are just beginning a new adventure
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Episode Notes How to reduce hours worked this summer This is the focus for the rest of the summer. There is an opportunity this summer to run an experiment: what happens if I cut out unnecessary noise? Noise is the sea of busyness that surrounds us. Noise is those wasted hours. We need our own island of sanity. On this island we can achieve better results. We can shut the world out. I’m running workshops for working dads throughout the summer. Enabling you to work fewer hours is the first objective of the one-hour workshop. Please let me know if you want to attend or if you know of a working dad juggling work and childcare who you know might benefit. Let’s return to the Mindset Matrix. One of the emotions and thoughts that enables us to be in the top-right box, Stoke, is _I am most content and focused when I settle my mind and prioritise time to think, reflect. _The action then is one hour a week away from the noise to think on my own island. You can use the three-step process I mentioned recently See this as an experiment not a solution. This is part of one of the two capabilities that enable you to navigate the Mindset Matrix: awareness leading to action. I would recommend finding a quiet place you can do this. Next week I will come back to thisNotes go here
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Episode Notes How about those days when things are not going well? Here is how to use the Mindset Matix. Firs, we need to pay attention to our feelings. They are the message. If you are feeling frustrated say then that leads to thoughts and behavious that result in this mindset. The trick is exiting and entering mindsets and accepting that we won't stay in one mindset for long.
Episode Notes Jennifer Petriglieri is a Professor at INSEAD. She's authored a book called 'Couples that Work'. Jennifer shares her insights about how couples can nagivate their career and parenting. She also talks about the challenges for organisations seeking more diverse cultures.
Episode Notes Today I share the two capabiliites required for a Thrive Mindset.
The Thrive Mindset is based on two capabilities. Both require a process. The first capability is high awareness of the challenges of managing rising demands at work and home. To build this capability requires weekly chunks of thinking time (30 minutes) away from the busyness of work and home life. I wil share with you a brillant,simple reflection process. Just six words! The second capability is experimenting with new approaches each week to improve work performance that benefit work and home life e.g. recharging.
Episode Notes Author and ooach, Jessica shares her four tips about how to create cultures in which working dads in leadership positions can thrive. Three questions and a top tip will be shared.
Episode Notes Today we see how the model can help you to know if you are working for the right organisation. Many organisations, especially in the midst of this crisis are in the bottom half of the Four Mindset Model. This means that it is less likely that there is high awareness of the need to change the culture and therefore not much real action being taken.
Episode Notes Today, we will apply the model to your organisation. What is the culture like where you work? Is the organisation aware of the challenges of thriving at work and home and does it take action to help? These are some of the questions to be explored today.
Episode Notes Finding time to think in a busy world is tough. This is why I've developed this weekly review tool specially for you. Each week you will be reminded how to use the tool. By the end of this series it should be an essential practice to look back on your week and prepare for the next week.
Episode Notes A master skill is: how to avoid burnout. Many of the ways to switch off from work have not been there - seeing friends, for instance. Today, we are joined by an expert in the field of burnout. He provides his tips for working dads in senior roles.
Episode Notes Introducing a new model that you will learn about and implement over the next ten weeks. This will build on the progress we are making. It will build on the previous two episodes.
The model is designed to be used weekly as part of a short review after listening to this podcast. It will increase your awareness. It will increase the chance of you taking action. Over the next ten weeks you will build the mindset needed to thrive at work and home.
Episode Notes Most of the working dads I coach put in 60 + hours a week. But they admit that many of these additional hours are unproductive because they are tired and overwhelmed. The problem is that often who we are and how hard we work are combined. This stops us changing.
This is why the next series is designed to cultervate a weekly review habit. You will get to try out a tool I use with clients. By the end of the 10 episodes I hope you will see how it can help you shift from a survive, survive to a thrive, thrive mindset at work and home.
Episode Notes Do you know how to holiday? Does it take you a few days to unwind before it's time to return to the office?
One of the benefits of reducing extreme hours is more holiday. Holidays benefit us two ways. One, time with the family. Two, time away from work meaning that when we return we are full of energy.
If we don't take holidays and breaks then long hour cultures will reduce our capacity to be creative and innovative.
Episode Notes Time to think more deeply about why it is so hard to change our mindset about work. How to move from a busy to a focussed mindset. This week we explore how to create a new, broader identity. By doing this you will open up new possibilities. You will do this by choosing one word that encapsulates the change you want to make.
Episode Not "I feel obsolete". This is what a working dad living and working in Chicago told me this week. That creeping feeling that our best days are behind us. Head down, working harder than ever is not the answer. Everyone suffers in the end. Better to re-imagine ourselves. To create a new vision of what it means to be a working dad.
Today, by replacing one adjective with another you can re-imagine productive work long into the future,
Episode Notes Do you work 95 hour weeks? This has been a top business story this week. And it relates to our topic - what if you worked less?
This week we focus on the exericse the Daisy Dowling shared. It takes 15 minutes, a pen and paper. By doing this and listening to this episode you would have invested some time in your own development. That feels food for most of us. This is the joy of repurposing unproductive time.
Questions are a great way to help us to think and make changes. So:
What do you notice about your work habits?
Which one would you like to change?
What do you notice about the habits of those you work with? (the five people we spend the most time with have by far the biggest impact on our values and beliefs).
Episode Notes Week five. By now I hope you are thinking about unproductive versus productive work. As so many of us are tethered to our desks it is easy to, well, keep working. But this exhausts us and keeps us away from our families.
This week the challenge is to remove the next hour from your working week. And also to pick one skill you want to learn that you can invest 30 minutes a week in. This is in your control and one of the best ways to future proof yourself. It is also deeply satisfying.
Episode Notes Pick one skill you want to develop. Then cut out half an hour from meeting time next week to focus on this skill. By doing this you will a) continue to remove unproductive time and b) be investing in your development (an intangible asset most likey to yield benefits for you). This is a small win that can make all the difference.
The skill could be learning about strategy, coaching as a leadership practice or mega trends that will impact your industry.
Episode Notes Today, I ask US-based expert Daisy Dowling to share her tips and techniques to help working dads in senior positions to thrive at work and home. There is a brillant exercise she recommends.
Episode Notes Time to remove the third hour from next week. Each hour saved can be reused more productively – for learning and development, say.
Time poor working dads need easy ways to reduce the pressure to work longer and harder and faster than ever. That is why reducing the working week by an hour each week works: it forces us to think about our contribution and impact but not based on the number of hours worked. We also realise that things won't collapse if we do this. Like a JENGA tower, taking out a few wooden blocks carefully does not mean that the tower collapses. In fact, the ten wooden blocks create a new tower: focussed development to enable you to better future-proof yourself. Imagine ten hours a week to dedicate to your own learning.
Change is about small, weekly actions that over 10-weeks will reduce number of hours worked. Even better, you will be investing in the best asset you can – you!
Episode Notes Time to save another hour of unproductive time. Next week you will have an additional two hours of time to learn and recover. By learning how to reduce the number of hours worked you will increase your productivity and overall satisfaction. That means being a better, less stressed dad. We take control of our work schedules ourselves as our organisation or boss is unlikely to say "I really think you should work two hours less next week to learn about ...."
To future-proof ourselves and emerge from this crisis in the best position we must find ways to learn and develop. And we need to move from an hours-worked = success formula which keeps us busy being busy.
Episode Notes What if dad worked less? Well, mums for one might be under less pressure to keep the show on the road.
Do you still think hours not outcomes? Does your employer?
Over the next ten weeks learn a process to reduce your working week by one hour a week. By week ten you will be working 10 hours less per week. What would you do with that saved time?
Once you have reduced your week by an hour you will repurpose it. More exercise. More learning. More recovery time.
Reducing hours worked will increase your energy, productivity and creativity.
Welcome to Series Two. The goal for the next ten weeks is to remove one hour or unproductive time per week. Imagine how you could better use 10 hours.
To help you we will focus on one question: What if dad worked less? You will learn how to remove an hour a week (think Jenga). This will enable you to improve your performance when it counts.
Episode Notes There is one question to focus on during series two: What if dad worked less? For the next 10 weeks we will explore one consequence of working less. e.g.less time on zoom, less time in response mode, more time to think and plan. The challenge will be to reduce your working week by one hour per week. This saved time can be repurposed more usefully - to learn, and recover. Using the recovery tactics from series one you will increase your performance at work in less time and as a result increase time with the family life.
Today, a brief summary of the importance of recovery. Recovery is the middle space between work and life which often gets neglected. Using the Think-Act-Learn approach you will be supported to make small weekly changes which over time will result in big changes. By investing in your own recovery you will be more productive and a better dad.
For instance, one recovery tactic is hydration. The dehydrated brain does not work as effectively as it should.
Episode Notes One vital parameter is sleep. Get too little and you won't be as productive next day. Lack of sleep is a particular change for working dads. One because we are working later and two because we might not sleep so well due the pressures and stresses we carry around. If you don't get enough sleep then other recovery tactics also fall by the wayside.
This week we are focussing on daily exercise. Short periods of daily exercise give you a break, a little time to recover. Like mealtimes they are an essential recovery tactic. Using the three-step process (Think-Act-Learn) try to incorporate 15 minutes of exercise outside. Even better, if you are at home with the kids get them involved as well. They will see you exercising, role-modelling a vital life skill.
Episode Notes This week the focus is on family times as a technique for incorporating parameters between work and life. Eating together provides nourishment for all. You will hear stories from those working dads who benefit from time away from work to share meals.
This week it is time to put in place parameters, dividing work and home life. Not easy to do when you might be working from home. But in fact parameters become even more important. I suggest that carving out small chunks of time to recover is a skill and a necessity in our always-on culture. Working all the time is just too tempting. And during this crisis working harder than ever to show our value is even more likely and even more dangerous. Time and again, working dads tell me tat they see even less of their children despite the fact that they are in the same house, being heated by the same central heating system.
Time to apply our three-step process to make some change. Then each small step will lead to large strides. In a few weeks you will move closer to thriving at work and home.
Episode Notes What are your parameters between work and home? As a working dad it is easy for work to take over. Working from home can result in greater stress. Where is the transition between work and home life? Last week you were encouraged to go for two Walk it Out sessions. This week it’s time to think about the parameters dividing work and home life. Many of the leaders I coach don’t have these parameters. Even If they do they are too easily removed when work pressure increases. The action for this week is to note down your current parameters. Then next week you will choose from a number of tried and tested approaches. I have used these approaches to successfully enable working dads like you to better transition from work to home life by having clear parameters
Episode Four
Welcome to episode Four. During this episode you will schedule two 15-minute Walk It Out sessions per week. At the start of the week to prepare and at the end of the week to review the week.
This is the first Recovery Practice for Working dads in leadership positions. Next week you will learn the next Recovery Practice. Over the next few weeks, you will notice how the application of these practices will enable you to better thrive at work (improved productivity) and at home (better attention to non-work priorities).
Please try and listen to this podcast out walking. You will think and feel better afterwards as we walk side by side and as you make changes step by step
Episode Notes Time to learn the first recovery practice: Walk it Out. You will be encouraged to incorporate this practice into your week using the three-step process designed for working dads in leadership positions.
Each week from now on walk outside for a minimum of 15 minutes per week. The benefits of more time outside are well known. But what seems like such a simple practice can over time bring many benefits: better sleep, less worry, better ideas.
By learning and applying these practices you will produce your own wellbeing plan that will help you to thrive at work and at home.
Episode Notes You are working hard and trying to be the best dad you can. Trouble is, work is demanding. Always more to do. And home life is demanding.
One of the skills to build is called Recovery: the skill of taking time to recover your mental and physical energy - daily, weekly and monthly.
Episode Notes Welcome to the first episode. Stand by each friday for a thought, an action and a learning. This is about your thriving at work and as a working parent.
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