Twins Talk Clear-cut Communication: Recent Episodes
Bob & Ray
Twin brothers who are professors and consultants have an ongoing conversation and answer listener questions about leadership communication and its challenges. Having consulted for over 35 years and coached executives in major corporations and institutions throughout the US and Canada, these guys have some ideas about what it takes to communicate effectively as a leader.
Dr. Ray Husband passed over to the other side on a crisp Tuesday morning during the last few days of November. This final podcast is a tribute to him. It involves 15 of his dearest friends having a poignant conversation about him as a way of commemorating his life. His passing left a hole in our world.
This episode continues, refines and summarizes our our thoughts on interpersonal communication conflict.
Regretfully, Ray has been quite sick these past few months. So, we've decided to replay some of our previous episodes until he gets back to the mic. This one is the beginning of series we did on conflict early in the podcast. Enjoy. Again.
Ray and Bob continue to respond to the request on give us some more of that stuff on feedback. Here it is!
We've recently received some requests to review our conversation on feedback. So, here it is again. Enjoy!
We think listening is such an important skill that if we are going to replay any episodes while we are away, they need to at least start with those on listening.
Bob and Ray return to one of their earliest episodes to remind us of how important it is to ask great questions and how we can develop the skill to ask them.
Bob and Ray try to work through some very interesting, but difficult nonverbal behaviors to get a hold of. it's fun stuff and it can really change how you come across to others. We are even going to attach a transcript/worksheet for the first time.
Ray and Bob explore the nonverbal behavior of touching. Should you do it in this day and age? Absolutely! But how and to what end is the key. Thank you, Ruth, for showing us the way.
The twins go back and summarize proxemics with an interesting story on when conflict is initiated in different cultures. They also reclaim how important it is to maintain level eye contact with the other person in conversation. Finally, they tell a couple of favorite stories about working with cruise ship captains who violate good nonverbal communication principles.
The twins launch into a discussion about interpersonal distance zones (Proxemics) in western culture and their impact on communication. They also provide some tips on how to use what you learn to your advantage. It's just the beginning. Lot's of fun stuff here.
Bob & Ray start a series on nonverbal communication. This episode simply provides a landscape for further episodes on the topic of nonverbal communication. Essentially, the twins are going to tackle what it is and how to use it to your advantage.
Ray and Bob have the exciting opportunity to visit with a Senior Vice President and Senior Partner of an International Marketing firm who really knows her stuff when it comes to the ins and outs of communicating remotely. By the way, always put on shoes for work!!
Ray and Bob have the distinct pleasure of visiting with a turnaround genius. James McCain is a career turnaround executive whose experience in turning around failing or poor performing organizations is what legends are made of. He shares some fascinating insights into the keys of successful turnarounds. Heads up for "fraudulating" a concept you will want to have at your finger tips.
We have as a guest, a remarkably caring and thoughtful professor and scholar who teaches at CUNY, one of the largest city universities in the world. She shares her experience of teaching in New York City before, during, and after the great pandemic of 2020-21. You are in for a treat.
Ray and Bob make a valiant, sometimes misguided, attempt to talk about the underlying issues in communicating with your teen. We even offer a few strategies for trying to reduce the "heat" in those conversations. Sorry, parents, it's all on you.
Bob and Ray, mainly Ray, leads us through the ins and outs of performance reviews. Though we are always concerned about the emotionally charged nature of the event, we decide accuracy is the more important feature of the review.
Ray and Bob push on to the emotionally charged communication situation of providing feedback that can be perceived as negative. It comes down to finesse and knowing the difference between criticism and constructive feedback.
Ray and Bob finish their conversation about how to be of support to someone who is emotionally distraught. You can do it well or do it poorly. Depends on whether you choose to care or you choose to cure.
Ray and Bob finish their thoughts on strategies to communicate effectively while feeling under attack. They then swing to the other end of the emotionally charged continuum to initiate a conversation on how to help others in emotionally charged situations. Yes, emotionally charged communication is on a continuum.
Ray and Bob offer some different, maybe even intriguing, strategies to deal with communication situations when you are feeling under attack. By the way, they really work!
Ray and Bob start a new series on communicating in emotionally charged situations. They attempt to identify some different types of communication situations that bring their own emotional charge. And, with it, extra difficulty in communicating effectively.
Ray and Bob continue to host their terrific guest, Mr. Jeff Trautman, and focus on the issue of coaching in a virtual world. The transitions that had to be made; the good, the bad, and the ugly; and the choices going forward are all discussed.
The twins continue to host their guest, Jeff Trautman, to talk about how and why coaching relationships need structure. They wrestle with a host of issues: building trust, overcoming resistance, delivering bad news early, not "sandwiching" the client, and emotionally charged communication.
The twins host a dear friend and expert on coaching to explore the nature of a coaching relationship and the important ingredients in developing one. We are definitely going to have him back.
Ray and Bob lay out what coaches provide and the skills needed to created a successful coaching experience. Watch for some "nuances".
Ray and Bob play a little catch up and decide to reclaim some lost issues in what coaches focus on before moving on to what do coaches provide. They discuss one of their favorite coaches and take you to the movies. BTW, Merry Christmas!
The twins try to dissect what coaches focus on. We even try to take on parenting from a coaching perspective. What a mistake.
The twins lay out some benefits to you as a leader when you decide to coach. You might be surprised at what you gain when you choose a coaching style of leadership.
The twins make some important distinctions between coaching, mentoring, and sponsoring. So listen up. This episode sets the stage for many episodes to come.
We had the privilege of having our five adult children on the podcast doing a family round table on communication. Great fun! Try it and find out if your family would have as much fun and share as openly around the topic of communication. By the way, the title has nothing to do with the content in the episode. It's an inside joke and was recommended, to the delight of the whole family, by one of the episode's participants.
Ray and Bob bite off more than the can chew when they start talking about obstacles they find when facilitating. They wanted to do a summary to their series on facilitation but just couldn't get to it. Drats!
Ray and Bob wrap up their conversation on facilitation skills and provide some confessions as to what they are good and bad at regarding specific skills. Of course, the good outweighs the bad.
The episode is introduced with a couple of cute jokes (no, not Bob and Ray) real jokes from Jane. The twins then finish up their discussion on mindful practices related to facilitation and move into the area of specific skills used in facilitation.
After finishing a few thoughts on a facilitation mindset, Ray and Bob detail some of the mindful practices involved in good facilitation. And just as the term implies, it requires a degree of mindfulness to use them. The ideas we talk about rarely come naturally and they are never easy.
Ray and Bob unpack what they see to be the commitments and orientations that underlie a facilitative mindset.They note to be a good facilitator, also known colloquially as “Tater”, you have to have certain commitments and orientations. So, pay attention!
Ray and Bob try a new approach where they simply talk to one another and ignore the listening audience. Could be a mistake. We'll let you know. They wander around the three core values that underlie a facilitative mind - openness, equality, and other-centeredness.
The twins are moving on to facilitation as an important form of communication. They speak to it as leadership style (directive, facilitation, laissez-faire), a skill, a mindset, and a process. Frankly, they make a pretty weak attempt to define it, but they do better at exploring more of how it can best be used in group settings. Bottom line, its about making interaction easier! More we, than me or you.
Ray and Bob get to visit with our youngest executive. You name it, he's done it and at a remarkably young age. Pro sports, TV broadcasting, and financial management. And, yes we were foolish enough to try to go one on one with him.
As a part of the ongoing series on Executives and Communication, Bob and Ray have an insightful conversation with a Fortune 50 executive. She puts it out there on a variety of topics and the only downside is that she is an Ohio State fan.
Bob & Ray have the opportunity to visit with the President of Pixo, a small software firm in the Midwest, to talk communication. He shares some remarkable communication perspectives in leading a midsize company. You don't want to miss his communication heroes, we know both of them.
Ray & Bob were treated to an insightful conversation on communication with a remarkably successful executive in a major financial services institution. As the first in our summer series on executives speaking out about communication, we were both impressed and delighted with the conversation. And, you know, we are never easily impressed.
Ray and Bob wrap up their series on dialogue with a summary and exploration of what gets in the way. So, if you missed the last four episodes, you might just be able to get caught up with this one. Nah, probably not.
Ray and Bob tackle the four specific conditions necessary for dialogue to take place. You really don't want to miss this one. Well maybe you do. But if so, you need to give up on having meaningful conversations.
Our guest, Dr. Richard Dombrowski, shares his perspective on counseling and dialogue. No you won't get therapeutic help, but you will get insights into the counseling relationship from a remarkable professional.
Still exploring dialogue, the twins go a little deeper on how do you know when you are in dialogue and why is it important. They also take a stab at translating dialogue to one on one relationships and what it is going to take from the person who wants to dialogue with that that significant other.
The twins to try to impress you, not only with their knowledge, but with the importance of dialogue and how it differs from those other inferior forms of communication.
Ray and Bob start in on how dialogue is a unique form of interaction and how it compares to other forms. If you think all conversation is pretty much to same, you better listen up. You've got a lot to learn!
Ray and Bob initiate a new set of episodes on the concept of dialogue. You really don't want to miss this conversation!
Ray and Bob get down with a remarkable song writer and singer to talk about performing and communication. A delightful conversation that roams far and wide proves both entertaining and informative to two guys that don't have a musical bone in their body.
This is the last in the feedback series. Ray and Bob provide some practical tips on the best way to receive feedback and how you can promote a feedback positive culture.
Bob and Ray get treated to an enthusiastic and insightful guest executive on the subject of feedback. Listen in so we can "light you up".
The twins provide a step by step model for providing feedback. And, they give you a reason to never use the term "constructive criticism" again. So, heads up and pay attention.
Ray and Bob share some interesting insights on how people perceive feedback and some research on where you never want to find yourself and how to avoid it.
Ray and Bob go after when should you give feedback and what are some skills that make it work. Whoa, before you already think you got this one, you might want to give a listen.
The twins take on feedback. Is it important? On a scale of 1-3500, Ray rates it 3487. Find out why?
The twins conduct their first interview with a dear friend and entrepreneur about his views on conflict and how he dealt with it in a start up business. Two insights to be gained: surprisingly, communication conflict most often occurs at the peer level and it takes resilience to opt for the collaborative strategy.
Bob and Ray share a case study of a dilemma facing a school social worker who has just about reached her limit. Who knows if they are being helpful. We'll let the social worker decide.
The twins share a case on how a turn around executive dealt with peer level conflict early in his career. They highlight some applications of the models shared previously to the conflict situation.
The twins go after the conflict management strategy of comprise. They're not big on it and they let you know why. Who wants to lose?!? Well, you do, if you use comprise as a go to strategy in any but a few select situations.
The twins tackle accommodation as a conflict management strategy. It may not be as positive a strategy as some of you might think.
The twins talk about avoidance as a conflict strategy. Clearly not one of their favorites, particularly with people who are important in your life. So, heads up you avoiders.
Buckle up buttercups, you are being treated to our favorite approach to managing conflict situations. Huge upside with little downside. But like everything else we seem to recommend, it takes more energy than some of the alternatives.
After indulging themselves in accolades, the twins take on the CCCAA approach to dealing with conflict. It's all about context, skill set, and choice. The first up, Competition.
Drs Ray and Bob share a long standing model for conflict management and note the importance of using different options in managing conflict depending on the context. They also suggest compromise as being an option of last resort. So stop that compromising!
The twins share a model of interpersonal conflict that is both elegant and useful, at least they think so. There may be a few surprises in this one, so buckle up.
The twins pivot to conflict in communication by initially exploring how conflict can be distinguished from similar concepts such as disagreement, difference of opinion, and opposition. In addition, they try sort out some beliefs people maintain about communication conflict that work against them being able to manage it effectively. Lastly, they identify a few one-liners that capture some folks response to conflict situations. Enjoy!
After giving some shout-outs, the twins make one more direct assault on listening by exploring a few advanced skills. Restating, paraphrasing, and, possibly the most profound skill, reflecting all get explored.
The twins finally get to the point on asking questions. They explain how you can know when you are asking great (effective) questions and when you are asking not so great (ineffective) questions. They even try to make the case for not answering questions with answers. What?!!?
The twins take on one of those very tricky dynamics in interpersonal conversations - interrupting. They explore why we don't interrupt, bad reasons for interrupting, and why we should interrupt. Where they land may surprise you! BTW, if you would like to provide feedback or raise a question, we are always glad to hear from you at twintalk46@gmail.com.
The twins revisit listening; examining both the reasons to listen and the ROI (return on investment) of listening. In the end, they are trying to make a strong case for why you should put in the effort to be a better listener.
The twins answer some write-in questions, and then speak to specific behaviors related to listening and suggest you really need to get to work on this skill.
The twins share a model of skill development that is intended to promote more effective interpersonal communication. They then initiate a conversation around listening as a critical communication skill in becoming a more strategic communicator. If you would like to leave feedback or write in a question, you can reach us at twintalk46@gmail.com.
The twins take on the issue "Should You Move to Being a More Strategic Communicator?" And, if so, how do you make that move. By the way, it ain't easy.
The twins talk about 3 fundamental beliefs people hold about "good communication" and how those beliefs impact their communication effectiveness. In addition, they explore 3 elements found in EVERY message and the necessity of addressing these elements to be perceived as a more effective leader.
Drs Ray and Bob talk through some of their foundational assumptions regarding communication and some of the common misconceptions people maintain about communicating effectively.